#i don't even remember i think i'm supposed to do a reread next and then read something new

[primofate]

I know this is stupid but hear me out. I reread your Somewhere you can't follow fic and the Scaramouche one somehow reminds me of Taylor Swift's unreleased song "I'd Lie". The song now hits diff after reading the fic. If you don't know the song, please please please listen to it even just once most of all the chorus part and you'll get what I mean.😭

The early days of Taylor Swift was my teenage soundtrack.

In particular, for the song "I'd Lie" teenage me found myself listening to it over and over again because I had a crush on someone who always kept pining for someone else, and I was always there to help him.

The rest of my angsty love story under the cut

He, let's call him Rex, had somehow taken a liking to people who were usually my friends, or at least my acquaintances.

He would write notes to them and I would be the messenger. Mind you, we were probsbly like 15 or 16 at this point.

One particular time, I had asked my friend Jamie if she was interested in Rex, because Rex had enlisted me to send love notes to her. Jamie flat out said no, she was interested in someone else at that point. I still gave her the note, and I told her that Rex is interested in her. She never responded to those notes.

I told Rex, in a very gentle manner, that she wasn't interested "You might want to try elsewhere..."

He understood immediately. "That's okay, I can keep trying,"

The next few days Jamie had complained to me about how Rex was showing up in her class and offering to carry her things, or asking if she was free to hang out.

Jamie wasn't the first person I witnessed reject Rex. At this point I really didn't get it. Why did girls not give him a chance? He was cute. He was smart. He was a gentleman. He was nice. He was upfront about his intentions. He was really good at drawing. He played the guitar. He had a kind sister.

I cried because lil ole me felt that he deserved much more than just girls rejecting him left and right. I cried because, hi, I'm right here. I know you. I knew his favourite colours even though he didn't tell me. Knew that he was sometimes annoyed by his sister. Knew when his birthday was. Knew that he wanted to be an artist. Knew that he had several dreams in store.

Then one day, I got the news that I was moving away.

I cried again. But I cried because of the friendships I was going to lose and the life that I was leaving behind. Not just because of him.

I told my closest girlfriends, and we cried together.

In art class, Rex came up to me and asked "You've been absent on and off, what's up with that?"

I didn't tell him that we were busy packing for the big move. I just told him it was family stuff.

"Oh. Well, we need a partner in art today. I'll draw you," we were supposed to do portraits today.

I was genuinely surprised because Jamie was in that class. So were some other girls he used to be interested in, and even then, his friends were also in the class. Why had he chosen me?

In fact I remember asking him "What about *his friends name*? It doesn't look like he has a partner,"

"Tsk, he'll live,"

I didn't say anything, but for the next hour or so, he spent it silent, sketching my features. Looking up once in a while to look at me and check if he was getting my features right.

When he finished, he signed the sketch off and handed it over to me. "Here you go, don't lose it," then packed up and left.

I don't have that sketch anymore, but to this day, in my mind's eye, it still is the most beautiful portrait of me, and probably the only sketch of me that will ever be drawn.

When it was finally announced to the class by my homeroom teacher that I was leaving in the next few weeks, not even finishing the school year, Rex yet again came up to me and asked questions.

Where are you going?

Are you ever coming back?

Why didn't you tell me earlier?

But everybody else was asking the same thing, so I didn't think much of it.

Until I got a text message from him at night.

"Are you free at some point? Let's go shopping, I'll get you something you like,"

In the deepest parts of my mind something clicked, but I also told myself I was probably just imagining it.

I replied with the truth, I said it was too busy at home packing and sorting things out.

"What time do you get to school? I'll meet you by the curve and walk with you," in tagalog "Sabay na tayo," he tried to keep the question really casual, but I think I was getting the hint at this point.

I was stuck. Do I let him do this and enjoy the attention for the last few days? Or do I nip it in the bud in fear of falling too hard at the wrong time?

I decided to stay neutral. I decided to pretend I didn't know what he was up to, but I did, because this is exactly what he did to all the girls he liked before.

I didn't tell him what time I usually got to school. I merely said my mom actually walks me to the gate.

"That's okay, I'll still walk with you,"

I just told him we can walk together if he happens to see me.

In the next few days he continues to send me messages after school, asking about mundane things like what things do I like. What color. What toys. He asked more about where I was going. If I was coming back. The what ifs.

In actual school he didn't really interact with me that much, but that was also because I spent a lot more time being whisked away by my friends.

At some point in between all of that he managed to catch me on the way to school. My mom had been there and probably raised an eyebrow when he approached me and said we could walk together. He said hi to my mom and continued talking to me.

It was then that I noticed a small whale plushie keychain on his bag. I thought it was cute and without thinking I grabbed it and squeezed it.

"You like it?" He asked.

"It's cute," I said.

On my last day of school he handed me that same plush and said I could keep it. "But you have to give it back to me when you come back,"

He wouldn't let go of it until I promised.

He texted me a lot that night. Asking what time my flight was. If he could see me off at the airport. If I could continue texting him even when I'm away.

I said I would try my best.

We were just kids, and we both fell out of touch when things got busy.

I never spoke to him again, but those memories are still very clear in my mind.

So all that angst that I post? Some of it is probably pulled from my various memories that I'm thankful for. That, or it was inspired by Taylor Swift hehehehe.

:)

[altraviolet]

i love TEG so much, re-reading it is like a hobby to me now, and not once do i get bored. it has such in-depth writing and subtle details that i never noticed until like the 5th time reading it (>○<) i swear it just clicked to me through my 2nd rereading that SW could've been a GOD? HELLO??? HAHA. ig thank primus he didn't??? but wow, it really goes beyond how much SW's love means when his idea of godliness, or i guess infinite knowledge, is from Rodimus' compassion and just genuine kindness, and I'm like ??♡♡¿♡??♡♡! UGH!!! BEUTIFUL.

I'm rambling, but wow, just wow. i think i was supposed to ask something? but i guess i forgot lol (T^T) one of them i do remember is: could you give us an idea of what SW's routine or what his everyday life is like now he became like an official non-threatening crew member of the LL / also being Rodimus' beau? (ok maybe not a question but more of a request bc urrrgh I'm so desperate to see more about this whole concept even if it's just crumbs (T○T) but i wanna be respectful and let things be at rest HAHA)

anyway, thank you so much if you read this. you literally ROCK and hope you're having a blessed month so far, and here's to wishing you a blessed year <3 ᕕ(⌐■_■)ᕗ ♪♬

Hi Anon!

What a very lovely message! Thank you! I'm glad you are able to enjoy TEG after so many rereads :) cut for length!

>SW could've been a GOD?

Yes! He could've been... That avenue is pretty much closed off to him now, but SW still feels that innate urge to expand and consume. TEG never addressed that, and that was done by design, so we could have a happy ending xD

Barring some kind of outside interception, SW will eventually need to expand beyond the confines of his own body. I've stated the following a couple of times on twitter/bsky/tumblr, but: a sequel to TEG wouldn't have a happy ending. Not on the current projection of how I've set it up. I was just last night thinking about what a horrifically sad thing it would be to see the Lost Light at the very end. I don't think I could write that fic. But yeah, SW would eventually expand beyond his body, and the next step would be the Lost Light itself. SW's “instrument” is damaged, so godhood might be beyond him anyway, but the thing that actually caused 2938 Megatron to ascend was an enormous expulsion of energy- this was the sacrifice of Vector Sigma and all the sparks on 2938 Cybertron. The energy of all that destruction and death is what allowed him to become a god. SW would never sacrifice the LL's sparks for that [there aren't enough, anyway], so he'd become the ship and then prooooobably not be able to expand beyond that, unless they started sticking more ships to the LL, or he commandeered a space station, or something.

OR. MAYBE. THERE'S ANOTHER WAY which I just thought of just now 👀 We'll have to see if there's ever a sequel

But you didn't ask about the sad ending, lol. You asked about day to day, I'm assuming, after the tier one chore cycle is done. Soooooo sure, I'll give that a try. With no planning, here we go xD

-wake up tangled in Rodimus. Rodimus doesn't want to/doesn't have to wake up yet, so waves him off. SW leaves him and goes to the cafeteria for breakfast

-cursory scans of the ship from the time he wakes up til he goes to sleep. Some he's supposed to do, some he's not. He can't help it, though. It's so delightful to be able to see and hear all along the ship's length. He sees and hears a lot of silly nonsense.

-report for his duty, which is checking the ship's self-scans (checking for hidden damage, a preemptive kind of thing, like how Toaster would check samples of energon for everyone); doing any needed calculations regarding ship trajectory; doing evaluations of nearby celestial bodies for resources or danger; assisting on-duty captain with anything regarding communications if Blaster or Siren are busy; coordinating with Cyclonus and Whirl on anything the outside of the ship needs (any damage or barnacles building up somewhere). He will also, of course, follow any direct orders given to him, and may also serve as consult on matters regarding the fuel quills or chatting with engineering

-after his shift is over, he will probably grab some food and bring it to the rec center and see who's around. If friends are around, he may join in a game, or just watch, depending on what's going on. If no one's really around, he'll head to the arena

-if arena: check in with Mirage and Skywarp to see how the crystals are doing. Ignite anything that needs ignition; check crystals for impurities; work on his own projects. If Nautica joins, he'll drag the harp over and demand (not so much in words, haha) that she play something for him. Then he'll try to learn something new. They're going through Heartstrings's repertoire together. SW has more to practice than he'd like to admit, but he's pretty adept at using his strikemetal gloves

-Rodimus has messaged him privately at least 4 times already complaining about Ultra Magnus or meetings or something dumb someone is doing. SW has been collating all the complaints and stringing them together into something hilarious and troll-y, which he saves for later

-dinner with Rodimus and another couple- doesn't matter who, Rodimus wants to try this double date thing! It's weird for whoever the other two are (unless one of them is very charismatic) but it's really fun for Rodimus. SW stays quiet the whole time but flashes amusing images at the other couple when Rodimus isn't looking at him

-perhaps an evening ship activity? A theme night at Swerve's, or some poetry readings, or maybe a performance in the arena (Skywarp and Mirage showing off a new garden, or SW playing for people), or Movie Night, or games with Rodimus, or maybe a romantic stop in the dead zone to look at nearby nebulae

-and lastly, some very sexy funtime with Rodimus at the end of the day, which SW trolls with the aforementioned troll-y compilations of complaints, which breaks the mood up with laughter, but that doesn't stop Rodimus for long. Nothing can stop Rodimus ;) and SW sure doesn't mind

-shower and sleep, all curled up around Rodimus and very happy

hope you enjoyed! Thanks again for the kind message and for reading! =)

[lily-alphonse]

How about Sam/Elliott?👀

that's hot

I like the way you think

but hoooowwwwwww

I asked @ao3-softwarecorruption-exe for help with this one again and he suggested Sam keeps a notebook with lyric ideas and Elliott finds it, so full credit to him for that brilliant start.

There's something here about creativity and appearances.

Elliott's creativity is molded and perfected. He even lives a life romanticized, hoping it bleeds onto the page. He can't very well be an author if he doesn't look, act, breathe the part.

Sam's creativity is raw. It's uneducated, it's excited gibberish from a heart moved.

Elliott finds his notebook on the ground, and the scribbles read like poetry. Frantic and emotional and possessed. Snippets of something that point to something greater and promising.

He spends all night reading and rereading, copying his favorite parts and staring at them. The artist inside him is so excited at the jolt of inspiration it takes a while for him to even question

Who wrote this?

But once the question exists it's all he can think. It must be Leah or Penny's, but wouldn't he know if that was the case? Penny's penmanship is much neater.

She recognizes it the next day. "Oh that's Sam's."

"Sam?" he asks incredulously.

She nods. "I can get it to him if you want, I'm over there all the time to get Vincent."

He automatically takes the notebook back, suddenly protective of it. "Oh no that's alright, thank you, I will deliver it to him myself."

He's uncertain that he means that yet.

He still isn't uncertain he means it, when on the way out of the library, he spots him.

Sam, in all his helmetless glory, tripping on his skateboard.

Elliott watches him, like a bird, he thinks. Is he the bird? Or is Sam?

If they were a poem surely Elliott would be the bird. He'd rather be the bird, anyway. But it's Sam and he knows it, and he's a little annoyed at that fact. No, he's a bird too, but one of those stuffed pheasants. A stuffed pheasant staring at a chirping canary. (Elliott's brain is a wild place)

A canary dusting off his tattered jeans and looking up at the weird man watching him.

Remembering to be human, Elliott asks "Are you alright?"

Sam gives him a thumbs up. "A-okay!"

Elliott hesitantly approaches. "I found something I believe is yours."

"What's up?" he looks up at him again and spots his notebook. "Oh hey Notey! Thanks." He gives him an absurdly bright smile. Elliott notices his chin is scabbed as if he fell on his face while skating.

He hands him the notebook. "Did you... name your notebook?"

"Oh Notey, yeah. He's my lil guy." He sat on the edge of the garden bed he'd been attempting to railgrind against, and quickly looked over the notebook.

Elliott huffs a chuckle. "I named my typewriter Lucille."

"You got a girl typewriter?" Sam squints up at him past the summer evening sun.

"I don't know, I suppose she is."

"I guess it's just weird to me cause all my stuff's got boy names. Like my guitar."

Its an odd, immature conversation Elliott might've dismissed before, but his creative mind is still whirring and he thinks there might be more to what he's saying.

"What's your guitar's name?"

"Jared."

"Decent name." Elliott sits next to him. "Do you think they need boy names because they are such a part of you?"

Sam thinks for a moment. "Yeah. That would make a lot of sense actually..." he trails off and begins mouthing the words part of you to himself repeatedly. "Hey do you have a pencil or somethin?"

Elliott hands him the pen from his jacket pocket immediately. Sam takes it with a murmured thanks and writes something in the notebook, as much a mess as the rest of it (if there was any doubt it belonged to him).

"I hope you don't mind me saying your writing is very interesting."

Sam scoffs, finishing and closing the notebook. "It's whatever." He's blushing. "Hardly any of it ever makes it into our songs anyway. I've gotta write like 1000 words to use 10 of them you know?"

"I do," Elliott smiles.

AHHHH wait I love this one.

I want Sam to invite him to one of their shows and Elliott feels so out of place and Sam gives him a band tee 😭 Also, Sam teases Elliott for being 'a reincarnation of a victorian grandpa'. Affectionately calls him grandpa and ghost daddy. I love them your honor actually

AND WITH THAT! This is the final submission of the SDV Rarepair Challenge! Check out the other answers here, and make sure to boost your favorite so it can appear in the final fic poll! More info on that here. Poll will be posted in one week, stay tuned! :)

[baldurs-gape]

Hi! Just wanted to let you know that your alien au got me so hooked, I've been rereading it multiple times! So thank you for writing it!!! Also, your profile pic is so rad, it's very confusing but I love the vibes

Nonnie, you are my new favourite. I will be back with a Part 3 for 'Flee the Nest' soon, and probably a Part 4 and 5 too, given how the idea has been fermenting. Of late I've been focused on editing a story for an anthology that's getting published early next year (and I'll be shouting about it once I'm allowed to). However, I can't leave such a sweet ask without some form of thanks! So have some body horror of sorts - the body is Astarion's, the horror is everyone else's.

P.S. The profile picture was a placeholder sent to me by a friend while I was undecided on whether I want to have a BG3 side blog. And now I don't have the heart to change it, but I am just as confused by it as you XD

Heart and Mind

The fight was brutal. Bad luck had been dogging the party like a faithful curse, so of course they had to encounter some Gur. Not the ones Astarion had encountered before but probably some distant cousins of Gandrel and co. The important part was that they'd heard of Astarion and were less bothered about capturing him alive. These Gur were hunting a monster and looking to put it down.

Despite everyone trying their best to protect Astarion, they were all tired, resources depleted and rather disheartened by everything going on. Another fight was the last thing they needed. Alas, there was no choice, it was kill or be killed so desperation fuelled them. A shout went up.

"Get the stake through its heart!"

Turning, Gale was only able to watch as a wooden stake was rammed through Astarion's chest, right through his heart. Shock and disbelief slackened his face and a hand curled around the wood even as he fell to his knees.

"Lop off its head!"

Before he knew it, Gale let out a cry of "no" and rushed to bodily throw himself over Astarion's cold, still corpse. Tears blurred his vision. He looked up at the Gur looming over him, devastation morphing his expression into one of agony.

"Please. He's already dead. You've killed him. Don't desecrate his body. Let me bury my partner."

Disgusted sneers were sent his way but at least the Gur stood down, retreated and left the group to their grieving. They gathered around Astarion's corpse, shock leaving them silent except for the odd sniffle from Wyll as he wept. No Scroll of Resurrection was going to help, Withers wouldn't be able to do anything either. Once a vampire, spawn or not, was staked through the heart, that was it. In a way, Gale was grateful that there was at least a body left, rather than a pile of ash as some stories described. They could lay Astarion to rest, give him the peace he deserved.

"I don't want to bury him in Baldur's Gate," Gale said, head bowed and eyes closed. "We should find a sunny spot with a view. He should never have to be in the dark again."

"I think he would've loved that, soldier." Karlach crouched next to Gale. "Fangs did love to bask, didn't he?"

A wet laugh followed as Gale remembered all the times they'd seen Astarion follow patches of sunlight around camp like a cat, determined to soak up at much of it as possible. It only felt right to make sure he could rest in the sunshine he'd loved so much.

"Are they gone?"

The low whisper had the entire group screaming in unison and Astarion scowled up at them.

"Seriously, is it safe to get up?"

"Istik!" Lae'zel levelled her sword at him. "I have half a mind to behead you myself."

Pouting, Astarion glared at her but offered up his neck all the same.

"I suppose, if it would make you feel better. Can I get this wood out of my chest first? It's ruining the lines of my armour."

Pulling a stake out was a lot easier than shoving one into a body and it popped out with a grim squelch. Moodily, Astarion poked at the hole.

"Such a waste."

"Is anybody going to say it?" Shadowheart interrupted but nobody seemed keen to step in so she clicked her tongue in disappointment before doing it herself. "How? Not to say I'm unhappy to see you haven't properly died but that should have killed you! Why aren't you dead?"

"It's rude to ask the undead why they're not dead," Astarion drawled and sat up, immediately wrapped in Gale's arms in a hug. He dropped his cheek against the top of Gale's, the only admission to being more shaken up than his attitude would suggest. "But, I suppose a magician can reveal his trick to trusted friends." He paused for a beat, looking at the others in turn. "Blame Cazador."

A growl rumbled through Gale.

"I blame him for many things and he'll suffer, I promise."

"I knew I was right to love you." Astarion gave a little wriggle in Gale's arms before continuing, "He wasn't a fan of how fragile spawns were. Lost a good few to stakes and beheadings, then his experiments. But he figured it out. As long as the heart or the brain aren't removed or damaged beyond repair, a spawn will keep functioning. So he simply moved them and encased them in metal."

He tapped at his chest, to the right of his sternum. It sounded like any other chest but that wasn't the point.

"He opened us up, moved the heart to the opposite side and poured blood laced molten metal to encase it. Did the same to our brains, mine sits just under my collarbones, shielded by metal."

"How?" Aghast, Gale clung to him, dreading the answer.

"With very fine knife work. Having your face peeled off and rolled up so brain and nerved can be pried from bone casing is not something I'd recommend."

Wyll barely held back a gag as he listened.

"A vivisection. He spliced you up while you were conscious."

"It's not like Sleep is effective on me," Astarion replied with a shrug. "But anyway, let's not dwell on such things. I must say, a sunny spot with a view was a rather inspired idea. Much better than the common old grave under a tree in Baldur's Gate."

"You've been buried before?"

"Darling-" How Astarion managed to pack so much judgement and derision into one word was a unique skill. "-two words. Vampire. Spawn. To become one you need to be buried and dig your own way out."

Paling a little, Gale pulled Astarion in for a tighter hug, eyes squeezed shut to hide the tears.

"You know what, Fangs? We're killing that bastard. How does that sound?"

A murmur of agreements went up as Astarion beamed up from where he nestled against Gale's chest, soaking up the comfort.

"That, my dear," he purred, "sounds delightful."

[citadelofswords]

okay so i'm not going to publish a ton of deleted sections from my hinamizawa time loop au. but this one hurts me every time i reread it, and it's also relatively integral to the plot, so. have the end of the penultimate loop (which i did write before the final loop, and influenced mob and al's conversation at the bar) warnings for blood, discussions of murder, and. assisted suicide. i suppose. will not make sense without reading the main fic.

92

They’re on the bridge between the cars, having made it through the hall of mirrors by the skin of their teeth. The door to the next car is open, but none of them have passed through it yet. Al has folded to his knees in the middle of the bridge, still dripping blood from multiple wounds in his body, head in his hands as he shakes with tears. Shigeo kneels in front of him.

“Mob,” Al says. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I thought we made it.”

“I’m sorry too,” Shigeo says softly. “I didn’t think about you leaving the train. I wish I had sooner.”

“I just want it to be over,” Al says. His eyes are clear when he looks at Shigeo, no longer filled with the black bloodlust they’d all been seeing for hours; he can see his own grief reflected in Shigeo’s eyes. “But I can’t bring this back with me. I can’t — if I hurt my brother, or Winry, or Mei—,” He gasps, and starts crying harder.

“Al, it��s okay,” Shigeo says. He reaches out to touch Al’s neck, over the wounds there, and brings their foreheads together. “I know what happens now. I’ll fix it. I’ll make it right. One more loop won’t kill me.”

“It’s not fair,” Al whispers.

“It’s not fair to you either,” Shigeo murmurs back. “I won’t let you hurt anyone else, Al. I promise.”

Trish steps forward grimly, but a hand reaches out to stop her. “I’ll do it,” Roxas says quietly. He looks shaky on his feet, pale from bloodloss; glass is still embedded in his sides, but his expression is determined. 

“Roxas…” Audrey says. 

“If Shigeo is right then it's just been a variation on the four of you for a long time," Roxas says. “Even if none of you will remember me doing it, even if I won't remember doing it, let me take this for you. If that's okay, Alphonse." 

Al rubs his face with one hand and smiles shakily. “I guess I deserve it for nearly killing you," he says. 

“This has nothing to do with that," Roxas says. They all hear the sound of a number decreasing. His Keyblades manifest. “I’ll make it quick, I promise.”

“Don't look,” Trish says to Shigeo, tugging him away and pulling her behind him. "You don't need to see it." 

Audrey glances at her, and then squares her shoulders and turns to watch Roxas. 

“I promise, Al,” Shigeo says, desperately. "This is the last time. No more." 

“It's okay," Al says. “I believe you." 

He doesn't say anything more after that. 

There is the sound of someone snapping their fingers, and time rewinds.

[bubacorn]

✨2024 fic overview✨ (this is mostly for myself and is just me rambling about my writing this year)

okay, so i hesitated making this post. i decided i would, then that i wouldn't. i was convinced i wouldn't because there's no point, really. but here i am because acknowledging accomplishments is something i feel like i should do. this year has been- something, for sure. it's been bad and difficult for the most part and obviously all that won't be over after midnight but i figured i could use some 'celebration', even while i'm struggling

i managed a word count of 172,325 this year which both feels like a lot and very little. i posted 34 works. among them are the longest ones i've written yet, ones that came very easily, ones that mean a lot. i had a lot of fun writing this year but at the same time, it hurt a lot, too, which sounds silly but it really did. i'm not entirely sure how i ended up here but i'm grateful that i did. there's a lot that i can't reread without cringing, a lot that i would rewrite if i had the energy and time but they all mark a moment where i was at that point in time and i think that's okay, in a way

so, as a sort of tradition (can it be a tradition if it's only the second year i do this and i almost didn't?), some of my favorites from this year:

Waiting for the One (The Day That Never Comes)

i really loved the style of this one when i wrote the first chapter, and wasn't planning on expanding upon it but then i spoke it out loud and my brain was like '👀 what if-?' and then it was a lost cause and i suddenly had a few thousands words extra. i still like the style, i think, and some of the choices about the story

Show Me Love

this is one of those that i cringe at, although i hold a lot of love for the whole series and was (am?) thinking about reworking it sometime. i know it meant a lot when i was conceptualizing and writing it, it houses a lot of pain, even though it came out mostly fluffy in the end. i suppose it helped cement me in relation to fluff, and soup as the genesis of everything (/j /lh)

Burn to Get You Out of Me

oh, this one. the concept is painful but i might also cringe at it a bit, i'm not sure why. i think i still like it a lot, it just feels clumsy for some reason. maybe because it feels like long ago, i can't pinpoint it. the feels are something for sure, though

To Safety

this one has a doc with bits and pieces and ideas to expand it into a series, i'm not sure if i'll actually get around to it or not. i know i liked writing it but i have mixed feelings about it now. i also didn't plan on writing more chapters after the first but it still happened. based on 'popularity', i suspect people like it because it's soft and has a certain vulnerability. it's also kind of special to me because it led to me receiving an ask i still remember being very :)) about we'll see what happens with that wip next year

Show Me That Your Arms Can Hold Me

i remember this one. this started as ~1k words written in bed on my phone because i was feeling particularly sad and the words just flowed. i can't recall which part i wrote then, i know it grew quite a lot (i expected it to be a max. 2k oneshot). i still like it but i'm surprised that there was a 'fan favorite' sentence in it, although i have to say, i do like it, too, it's a nice sentence ("Vessel let himself be eased from the tense position he instinctively assumed, knees slipping away from his chest, torso turning towards II’s like his heart was the head of a sunflower seeking the Sun."). i also feel like the style and the metaphors/imagery i used are kinda nice, too, which makes me happy because fairly early on, i knew i wanted to gift it, so i'm glad it 'holds up'

I Will Be Here When You're Ready to Wake Up

oof. this one. i loved it and i kinda don't like it anymore. i know. i fought with it, i planned so much for it, i struggled and i did enjoy it. i didn't expect it to be this long, either. i guess lessons learnt? i don't hate it but it also makes me cringe a bit because i know at one point, i was annoyed, like 'how many sentences can i possibly write that go 'he [did] [something]. [name] [did] [something]'?' and it felt like the answer was 'all of them'. you know what? i do kinda like it. it has details that i like (love?) and it's not half bad. remind me to remember this when i next catch myself hating it (/lh). i also hold it close to my heart because it's the first time my fic inspired art and it's gorgeous

For a While, You and I

this one was so much fun. the idea and the imagery. listening to the songs on loop. loving Vessel for his thing for niche details in his covers that actually carry meaning (or not) but they're still fun. yeah, i like it a lot. i meant to write it with no hope left for them to ever meet because to me, that feels more realistic. stardust doesn't care about love and by that point, does it really matter? really "And they say that nothing is forever // Then what makes love the exception?". i guess it's romantic and comforting to think they might meet and that their particles will collide and fuse for eternity. i think i wanted it to be more like 'if i have to live without you, i'd rather choose not living without you because then we both just don't exist and then we can't be together but we're not apart either'. it's humanly tragic if they're just gone because that's how things go. it's horrifying but it's life. yeah, anyway

Something to Confide In

i didn't plan on writing this. i know that the grocery store conversation was written fairly early on, and some of the later pieces of dialogue. then i was very busy and stressed and sat on the train, and was suddenly at 11k. i finished it all before posting because it was an already anxiety-filled and overwhelming period, so i just put it in my drafts and posted it quickly because i was excited about it. then, i think, after like the first chapter out, i started to dislike it. that's just how things go sometimes. i have a continuation in the works for this, we'll see what happens to it

i have really complicated feelings about my writing and am in a bit of a slump (in general, too, but it extends to creating because of course, it does) but i'm still amazed at how i ended up here in the first place. it feels like i didn't write 'enough' this year and i have my insecurities and little (well. not so little) annoyances. i'm grateful to everyone who reads my works, leaves kudos and comments or shares them when i post their links here. thank you, i appreciate you a lot, you and your feedback help keep me going

at the same time, i have to say that i do often go 'maybe i should just stop', probably more often than it comes across from my words and frequency of posting, which is, oh, well. i'm still going. writing kind of happens at this point, i can't exactly stop my brain from doing it and i do enjoy it, it means a lot, it's an outlet. it is also a weird source of validation but i try not to let that get to me when i can (and fail at it quite often). i've rambled so much, i think i should wrap it up. thank you, i'm still here, this year happened and the next one will, too. take care of yourselves, if you can 💜

[deadbeatbirdmom]

Personally I don’t expect team rwby to solve all bigotry, but I’d like to see them make any sort of attempt to at least begin to change something? Even relatively small scale?

The SDC seemed like the perfect opportunity but nope,

And maybe don’t kill,of characters like sienna and have characters like Robyn hill who are actively trying to combat class inequality get competed into fighting Salem instead

Movies like nimona manage it I don’t see why rwby can’t

This is the last time I'll be answering an ask to do with these issues in RWBY. I don't feel that there's a satisfactory answer, and certainly not one that I can provide. I've mentioned something along those lines before, but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt that you're not the same anon and didn't see my posted answer.

I recently reblogged a post about these issues, but that doesn't mean my answer has changed. That post basically said there is no simple fix, and that means it isn't possible to do in RWBY, unless it was a fictional fix that wouldn't work in reality, which would be disrespectful.

I'm not sure what you expect four teenagers to be able to do, even small scale. They're good at fighting Grimm, but that doesn't mean anyone's going to pay attention to them about anything else.

Ruby's lucky at least some people listened to her broadcast about Salem, but that's connected with Grimm.

Weiss was the SDC heiress but ended up having that taken away before she could do anything good with it, and actually doing anything would have had to wait until her father was no longer in control.

Blake persuaded Menagerie's faunus to form a militia and help save Haven from Adam's corrupted White Fang, but that took a serendipitous attack on her parents and their house partly burning down. She can't command that militia to do anything else.

Yang would struggle to persuade anyone to do anything. The last time Remnant at large saw her was during the Vytal tournament broadcast, apparently breaking Mercury's leg unprovoked. The CCT is still down, so chances are most people have no idea she was set up. I dunno, maybe she could intimidate some sense into people?

I'm not sure when team RWBY would have had time to do anything while in Atlas. Ironwood kept them busy. Were they supposed to take down or reform the SDC with the one night off they had? If they'd tried they might well have found themselves arrested, the SDC and its Dust is rather important to the Atlas military. And then where would they be with their goal of getting the second Relic from the Atlas vault?

As for after things fell apart with Ironwood... As important as these issues are, avoiding arrest and doing their part to help get word out about Salem, or helping Mantle and then rescuing Oscar had priority.

It's not the reason they've done it, they just happened to fall in love, but I guess it could be argued that Blake and Yang's romance is some sort of proof that faunus and humans are equal.

After Salem is eventually somehow defeated, I can imagine at least Blake working with or even leading the reformed White Fang and campaigning for faunus rights. I'm sure the rest of her team would help her if there's anything they can do.

But survival against Salem has to come first. So a huntress like Robyn Hill doesn't really have any choice. There won't be any world to improve if Salem isn't stopped.

As for Sienna, take that up with Adam. I'd much rather she hadn't been killed off too, but there was no other way that was going to end between them.

That's the best I can do, anon. I'm well aware it's not a great answer. I can't provide one. I don't think there is one.

I haven't seen Nimona, I don't have a Netflix subscription. Maybe I'll watch it the next time I want to rewatch She-Ra. I've read the Nimona graphic novel years ago, but I don't remember bigotry being solved in there. Unless you meant an attempt being made? I need to reread it.

Edit: this got long and I forgot about a read more cut until now. Apologies!

[threbe]

Was meliodis going to be the villain of 4kota

Random post just came to mind today after I was rereading some of the manga I was talking with someone on Twitter and we were talking about how we didn't really remember much of the manga up till recently when we were rereading it because I was reading the manga back in the day when it was

going on going and never really went back a lot to reread certain parts but after rereading certain parts it would make me change my view on certain things like shipping Merlin and Arthur and shipping anyone with Merlin at all Elizabeth and meliodas's relationship and certain other characters as well

and they also got me wondering after rereading some parts of it yesterday and today and one of my thoughts was what if the same way Elizabeth's spent years dying over and over again and meliodas spent time and time again trying to save her what if we saw the reverse in the four nights where even though many years had passed and Elizabeth had

had a kid she had spent her time trying to figure out a way to get meliodas back still and save him the same way he saved her so many times Life after Life and meliodas was the villain in the four nights of the Apocalypse instead of Arthur sure Arthur's set up as the villain makes sense especially after

everything that happened to him but the villain set up was also there for death peers but it was also mainly there for meliodas especially after so many things we found out about him during the seven deadly sins manga and there's still a lot we don't know about him even though he was the main

character the same with Merlin even though we got her backstory in the god awful chaos ark I feel like there are so many more layers to Merlin we don't know everything and now due to four nights there are even more mysteries when it comes to Merlin and even certain things when it comes to the demons and meliodas himself

I know this sounds like a crazy idea but hear me out imagine after meliodas and came back after being killed part way through the manga by esterosa

Imagine he and Elizabeth ended up doing what they did and Tristan came along 16 years later like he does in the manga anyway

The parkway through the manga and the seven deadly sins meliodas turns evil / gets possessed by the demon Kings similar to how it seems that Arthur is being turned evil/possessed by chaos chaos who I'd like to point out sees the other races it creates is failures and feels that humans are the

perfect representation of chaos itself which is why it's using Arthur its first human hostess ever had to fulfill its true dream of getting rid of the other races but the seven deadly sins and even Merlin possibly stand in the way of that but I wonder what would have been like if meliodas was the villain or rather was he maybe really supposed to be the villain

chaos was only hinted at once or twice but never really properly but meliodas being evil was hinted at several times here and there we even found out that the reason the holy war started was because of meliodas we never found out how meliodas and Elizabeth met why he decided to go from wanting to be the next demon King and giving then giving up his position how he and Elizabeth fell in love what made people trust him back during the first holy war and several other things that happened including with Merlin and certain things that were mentioned that were never brought back up again or given an answer to

Like I'm just wondering what's the end goal to have meliodas be the villain and it carry over to the next story cuz let's be real so many fans have made jokes about this I've joked about this people still make jokes about how the chaos are feels random and tacked on we only had maybe two hints

throughout the whole manga about chaos and there was one in the druid Arc which I think was like what the third or fourth Arc of the mango and then there was maybe one other hint about chaos in the first seven deadly sins movie at the end of the movie or and after credit scene if I'm thinking right where Merlin mentioned that hawk mama was the mother of chaos and then when you go read one of the side chapters if I could have found it I would have posted picture from it so that melioda's net hawk mama and it was in Camelot and I made a post about this before where hawk mama was

probably in Camelot since that's where Arthur was along with Excalibur since she's linked to both of Excalibur and Arthur since she carried chaos within her cuz that's where chaos it is true power was sealed for all this time so Merlin unlocked his power in the final Arc of the seven deadly sins in the chaos part

But even though towards the end of the mango we got a few hints here and there that Merlin was up to something and it involved the magical lake and sure we all put two and two together going oh it's the magical lake and the Lady of the lake is there and then we finally got to meet the lady in the lake and she explained everything it still feels like BS that was tacked on last minute I remember someone made a post about this on Reddit where they talked about how a comment they found somewhere where someone said that nakuba finish the manga winning laid down and then woke up in the middle of the night and realized he forgot about Arthur

because when you get towards the end of the manga it does truly feel like the end and then we get a few more chapters tacked on at lead us into the chaos ark and they just truly do feel like Arthur was forgotten and all of the honest as much as I like Arthur's character maybe that's what should have happened or maybe in the manga instead of having Arthur become the villain which if you look at it he is justified in becoming the villain considering

everything that happened to him and his kingdom and humans but it just feels like if meliodas had stayed the villain maybe it would have made sense and we saw how for years and years meliodas tried to always save Elizabeth it would have been interesting to have it where the story turned everything around and we saw Elizabeth trying to save meliodas for a long time the same way he always tried for a long time to save her

I'm just thinking that maybe would have made more sense or maybe that was the plan but some things changed around because I do remember it being said that originally nakuba wanted to write four nights of the Apocalypse first so maybe in four nights of the Apocalypse originals story or story Bible or whatever they're called maybe meliodas was the villain but part way through writing the story and getting through the seven deadly sins

stories that he decided to do first so he can set up the world building he decided that maybe having Arthur is the villain after everything that happened towards the end of the manga made more sense because there was one point in the manga after like I said they defeated the demon King the first time and everybody was at the boar had celebrating and everything it seems like the mango was going to end right there and that probably would have been a good place to end the manga

Like an alternative I can think of for the manga if we didn't get four nights as it is right now is if Arthur stayed still to sleep in the ruins of where Camelot and the lake and everything was for 16 years then down the line even if Percival is or isn't the main character Percival in his group Tristan Lance and gwaian I'll still come along at some point and are still becoming the four nights somehow maybe there is a different evil maybe instead of Arthur

they still would have gone after death. Like maybe imagine a part of chaos was actually active somewhere else and death Paris got a hold of it and he was going to try to become the ruler of chaos but since chaos was always meant for Arthur even though death Pierce wounded and the four nights did get assembled to go after him so he couldn't destroy Britannia using the dark power of chaos and chaos staff if he created them and the four nights come along and they have to band together they're not only stop death peers but then find the real king of chaos who is King Arthur and they find Arthur and somehow together they're able to wake our throw up by pulling Excalibur together out of him and

then someone heals him and he wakes up and at 16 years later and together with Arthur they rebuilt Camelot and go on different quests cuz I'm beyondest I thought that's what four nights was maybe going to be about I thought the four nights was going to be about some nights gathering together to help Arthur form the round table but we're fighting Arthur and he's evil and from what we all can clearly see it's not Arthur it's just chaos and at some point Arthur is going to get separated from chaos or at least the fragments of chaos that's inside of him corrupting him I don't think chaos is a hole will be separated from Arthur at least not the same way it was with meliodas when he was

possessed by the demon King I don't know this was just a thought I had like it would have been interesting if Arthur woke back up and with the four nights band together to stop meliodas properly and truly bring him back to his senses and let him reunite with his son and then maybe he dies in the end cuz he's free from The demon King and free from his curse and he passes away knowing that he finally got the truly love Elizabeth and that they made a wonderful child together and then he

passes away at the end of the story wouldn't even have to be that long at best it could maybe be like 12 volume but I'm not saying this to like make a like a whole rewrite to replace the story we have now this is just an idea of what I think it could have been like so far with reading the four nights in rereading it and rereading some of seven deadly sins over the past few days cuz I had forgotten some stuff again the story isn't that bad they're just certain elements in the story and fetish like things it feels like in the story that kind of turn you off from the story and it's mostly just me and I've seen a few other people just wondering like what if because some things

with the story just feel like they would add up more if they wanted different way so that's why I made this post cuz that's what I've been thinking and I talked about it with a few other people and we've all just been thinking like what if the story went a different way cuz just certain things when I think about them would have added up more like I said and the main point of this post is if meliodas have been the villain and how things will turn out

Cuz looking at what has happening now with chaos it just feels like the same story that meliodas was going through to begin with Arthur is possessed by chaos the same way meliodas was possessed by the demon King they're both just possessed although I don't think Arthur is going to get a redemption or he's going to die like King Arthur usually does at the end of anything related to King Arthur if he lives Arthur's going to be sealed away or Merlin's just going to take him away somewhere and they're going to be in love possibly I don't know 😐

I really hope we don't have it where it is kind of like with the seven deadly sins manga where we thought we had one villain then there were true villains and it was the we thought it was Hendrickson and then it was the ten commandments and then above the ten commandments this was the demon king and the supreme deity and then it was chaos we do not need all these different layers of villains if it's going to be Arthur just let it be Arthur if it's going to be chaos whatever

I swear to God if it's cathi im going to lose my mind

[hildred-rex]

LXGF Reread 2023-11-20

To make an analysis post I am currently rereading what is shaping up to be the entirety of LXGF.

This has gotten incredibly long, so I'm burying it under a readmore.

I love the bit of dramatic irony here. I think it's technically spoilers which bit is the dramatic irony, but just trust me, it's great.

The wham shot of Mina's teeth is so good. And coupled with "We have some experience with such matters."...

From this page: The supportive hand on Irene's shoulder. The supportive hand on Irene's shoulder. And Irene really looks haunted in the "An explanation would be welcome" panel. Everything from the angle she's looking to the shadows under her eyes to her interlaced hands. I just want to give her a hug.

Bam. The king. (Isn't looking quite himself, is he?) I remember I shuddered when I first read this page and came to this panel.

The king continues to look very bad on the last panel of this page. (TW scopophobia and disturbing imagery.) And the color. It's so subtle you almost don't notice it the first time, just that something about the page seems slightly off. It's very effective, even at that level. And then when you do notice it... Nothing in this comic is in color. Everything is sepia-toned. That's the way things should be. But the dead King Wilhelm von Ormstein has yellow eyes.

VAN HELSING! And it nails how he talks in the book! (Having tried to write him, it's harder than it looks.) Not to mention the joy in my heart upon continuing my left-to-right scan of the panel and seeing QUINCEY MORRIS!

I've skipped a bunch here because I'm supposed to be focusing on Griffin and haven't even gotten to him yet but Art—

JONNO EYES (not sepia. I repeat: not sepia.)

I forgot how much I loved our introduction to Dorian.

And then we actually meet him (and see Paul Lessingham, the Politician, the Statesman—thank you, alt text!). He's angelic when you focus only on him, but when you look at him in context (in the panel with Basil) he's... less so. Very well done!

Foreshadowing. (When something becomes not technically probably spoilers I have a very laudatory post about all this.) Also floppy Dorian lol

I love this page. Not only do we see Dorian purposely provoke Art (and then see Art react, showing off both of their characterss) we see—and I missed this the first time—some of the dynamic between Dorian and Basil. He jumps in to distract Art, despite being scared himself (and Dorian having earned it).

Awwh Basil looks so excited that someone's treating him kindly...

Dorian's stories from this page are all allusions to other things which have gone onto the "read soon" list.

The last panel of this page is so effective. (Its image description too!)

"boring filler headline" lol (and I enjoy the tags)

DETERMINED MINA PANEL 2! BLUSHING MINA PANEL 6! Also just Mina's outfit in general. (Also just the LXGF outfits in general. I love the little garlic flowers.)

Paranoid Kemp is done so well.

LXGF is very good at having very effective final panels. This one with the glass... It's very well composed (I think that's the word) and does a good job of displaying Irene's discomfort with the glass. (Here.)

It was introduced on the previous page, but here's the first time we get a good look at Jonnovision. My favorite cryptid solicitor.

On the next page there's more cryptidness (the speed), which I didn't notice my first time through. And his eyes are glowing in the first panel... And then the first expletive of the comic! Such a great way to properly introduce Griffin!

I love (in a sad way) how Griffin just caves in when he thinks about the murder. (Here.)

Griffin's whole first scene is incredible. I can't comment on all of it or this post would be several more miles long. Just go read it and imagine me vibrating with excitement and pointing at random bits and screaming.

Character growth for Jack! ...I'm now very sad.

The panel with Jonathan and the angelic smile and the giant knife is great.

I've been annotating over here less because we've gotten to the bit that I'm talking about in my actual post, but rest assured that I love it. Also, the yellow is brighter here. And the eye... I'll count myself lucky if that thing doesn't show up in my dreams tonight.

And the shot of the photo at the end here! The corruption happening to the king slowly coming to affect depictions of him... I love this for spoiler-related reasons.

Griffin's realization is both very well done and unaccountably hilarious to me.

Hel-lo Mr. Holmes!

He respects her change of surname! Better than a lot of adaptations... and the table lmao

He. He what. Also floomp.

Holmes's immediate concern for Mrs. Hudson warms my heart.

HOLMES AROACE COMING OUT SCENE!

Accurate VH voice is back—what the deuce are you two talking about?

his blood is yellow his blood is yellow (well really more like golden)

Also Jack looking panicked in the second panel is so well done.

Almost namedrop! And Griffin being a delight as always.

Hello Jekyll! Great to see you! I enjoy your almost alchemical-looking setup there.

The king is progressing...

Same page; I enjoy Jekyll and Hyde's designs. They have the same hairstyle, very similar noses, and the same style of eye; but they still look different enough that you probably wouldn't believe them if they said they were cousins.

"He is a horror of the un-dead." Line of dialogue, presented without comment.

The drawingsss...

The first panel of this page is absolutely stunning. So is everything else. So much that I wrote an analysis rant of it.

[novelmonger]

1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11-14, 16, 17, 19, 26, 27, and 29 for the bookish asks game, please?

Which book would you consider the best book you’ve ever read and why?

Well, setting aside the Bible, since that would be too obvious... XD The other obvious answer is The Lord of the Rings. Not just because I really like it and still find new things to appreciate about it every time I reread it, but also because of how significant it's been in my life in terms of opening my eyes to the fantasy genre - and while we're on that subject, LotR deserves massive respect for jump-starting a whole new genre (or at least a new way of approaching said genre).

3. Are there any genres you will not read?

Erotica. Obviously.

5. What was your relationship with books like as a child?

Looooooooooved them! <3 My parents read to us a lot when we were kids, and I sort of taught myself to read/learned by osmosis at the age of four, at which point I truly began devouring every book in sight. But I honestly can't remember a time before books were a central part of my life. When grown-ups would ask me what my favorite subject in school was, I would say "reading." And I never had any doubts about majoring in English when I went to college, either, because that would be the major that involved the most reading of fiction :P

Actually, you want to hear one of my favorite stories of me as a little kid? I think I was five, and we went for our first extended stay at my grandparents' house. That first morning, I woke up crying, and when my mom went to see what was wrong, I said, "They don't have any boooooks! T^T" Because I was accustomed to leaving a stack of picture books by my pillow so I could start reading the SECOND I woke up XD (In five-year-old Novie's defense, while my grandparents did have plenty of books, they were mostly down in the basement, which I hadn't seen yet.)

7. Have you ever despised something you have read?

Yes. And I think I've complained about them in various ask games before XD But the one that's coming to mind right now is Moby-Dick - I have no idea if I would have liked it if I'd read it on my own, but when I took a class on Melville from my least-favorite English professor simply because I needed the credits to graduate...ugghghghghgh, I hated it and everything my professor said about it x.x (He was half-deaf and in denial about it, so class discussions were a chore, and his brand of humor - in my rather conservative Christian school, mind you - was to point out homoerotic subtext and giggle about it -_-)

9. Are you for or against multiple narrators in the same book?

I see no problem with it! I mean, I suppose it depends on the sort of story that's being told. If it's a very personal story where the narrator needs to have a strong voice or needs to be kept in the dark or something, then yeah, stick to one narrator. Basically, do whatever makes it interesting.

11. Do you prefer to read at a certain time of day?

Already answered - I will read anytime :D

12. Do you need to finish a book before you can move on to the next one, or will you have multiple books going at once?

Heh...heheh...heh. Would you believe me if I say I am currently in the middle of 39 books at once? Not counting manga/graphic novels/webcomics? ^^' Yeah...obviously there are some I prioritize and read more frequently (such as library books), but I like to be very sure I will never run out of reading material XD

13. How do you chose which book to read next?

It depends! I kind of have several tracks going at once (hence the 39 books, lol). So for challenges like the Book Rec Exchange, I just go down the list I have. For rereads, I just kind of pick one on a whim depending on what I'm in the mood for that day. And anytime I acquire a new-to-me book to add to my collection, obviously I have to start reading it even if I've read it before, so it gets added into the queue. Other than that, I have an insanely long to-read list. When I need to pick the next book from that list, I like to alternate between fiction and non-fiction, and use a random number generator to pick so I don't have to stare at the list indecisively every time :P

14. What is your favourite children’s book?

Ooooh, that's hard...there are so many good ones. But probably, if we're just going by which one I've read the most often, it's probably Pippi Longstocking. I love that book. I wanted to be her friend so bad.

16. What’s your favourite of Shakespeare’s plays?

Favorite tragedy: Othello

Favorite comedy: Twelfth Night

17. Do you know any poetry by heart?

"The Uses of Sorrow" by Mary Oliver:

(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)

Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.

We were given this as a prompt in a creative writing class in college, and oh man, did it capture my imagination! Everybody else was writing creative nonfiction stuff about, like...dealing with their parents' divorce or whatever. And I came back with a short story I'm still rather proud of, a fantastical and kind of creepy story about a girl whose mother disappears mysteriously and leaves behind a strange Rubik's Cube-like box filled with tangible darkness that can swallow people alive. I'm not sure my teacher knew what to do with me, but at least I got a good grade on it XD

19. E-reader or traditional book?

Hey, I'll use whatever means that allows me to read a book cheaply and with little effort. I don't actually have a dedicated e-reader, but I do have quite a few PDFs of books I read on my phone that I got in Humble Bundles or whatever. And I also did a lot of Charles Dickens reading on my phone from Project Gutenberg at my old job.

But I guess if I had a choice, all other things being equal, I would choose a physical book. Because then you get to smell the pages!

26. A book you studied in school and ended up loving?

Oh, there are lots, particularly from my elementary school years, because we used a homeschool curriculum that emphasized reading and pulled the majority of its booklist from Newbery winners and nominees.

But yeah, the first one that came to mind was the Victorian novel class I took in college, where we were given a list of novels we could pick from to write our big long paper on at the end. The professor didn't want everyone writing papers on the same thing, so everybody had to sign up for a different one. I was pleased when the sheet got passed around to me and I saw that no one had signed up for Bleak House by Charles Dickens, so that's the one I picked, already knowing I liked Dickens even though I hadn't read that one yet.

I wasn't sure what to expect, with a title like that, but oh man, I loved that book! It very quickly became my favorite Dickens novel, and has remained so as I've read more of his books. The plot is so intricate, there are so many memorable and distinct characters, I adore Bleak House itself (let me live there!), and every time I reread it - even as I looked it up to quote it here! - this part makes me cry:

Dead, your Majesty. Dead, my lords and gentlemen. Dead, right reverends and wrong reverends of every order. Dead, men and women, born with heavenly compassion in your hearts. And dying thus around us every day.

27. Classics or modern literature?

If "modern literature" means "modern literary fiction," then classics 1000%. There's something about so much """literary fiction""" that feels awfully pretentious and aloof, like the author is patting himself on the back for writing something so clever. So yeah, give me Bleak House over [insert well-received modern literary fiction here] any day.

29. Have you ever read a book in another language?

Alas, no. I tried reading the first Harry Potter book in Latin when I was studying it in high school, but it was far too advanced for my paltry skills ^^'

Bookish Ask Game

[misiahasahardname]

books and plays i've had to read in english over the years

S1:

murder on the orient express - i remember really enjoying it, have a clear memory of guessing that the murderer was the one guy that WASN'T the murderer

frankenstein (in play form) - i think i liked it??? the one memory i have from reading it was the task we were given before actually starting it (draw frankenstein) and i drew the monster even though i ALREADY KNEW frankenstein was the doctor not the monster

midsummer night's dream - fun but confusing. we were supposed to change castings every lesson but the teacher liked my performance as puck so much she kept me as him most of the time. cool ig

S2:

animal farm - brilliant, was hooked the whole time. i got very attached to characters like snowball and boxer for some reason. me and my friends still sometimes manage to reference boxer. somehow. generally just a really good book

noughts and crosses - was pretty decent from what i remember. teacher casting bias was clearly still present here because i got to read for sephie a few times... i'm white (tbf the rest of my class was really unengaged most of the time. idk)

an inspector calls ‐ ICONIC!!!!!!!! was really fun, love shit set in the past. ending threw me off... the copy i got was AWFULLY printed though. not only were all the pages connected to eachother (had to seperate them with scissors, and i am NOT good with scissors) but they were also upside down. (actually was this S2 or S1??)

S3:

lord of the flies - REALLY enjoyed this one. would actually do little doodles of the characters... i feel like i posted one here at some point?? had a deep emotional attachment to... god what was his name?? simon?? i have a few fanarts and memes saved on my ipad (plus a minecraft recreation of piggy's death (it was for a project, some classmates did worse)) so safe to say i enjoyed it quite a bit

the merchant of venice - my enjoyment of this was greatly elevated by the intense fruitiness every guy in my class displayed when going up to act. seriously my s3 class was filled with some of the zestiest straight guys in the year. can't remember what role i had for this one

S4:

macbeth - it was alright, can't complain. teacher made us skip a LOT of scenes because they were useless according to her??? felt weird but ok. i was lady macduff so basically all i got to do was bitch and then get killed 👍🏼

i honestly can't remember if we ready any actual books??? we read a few ian crichton smith short stories. the red door was... fine but i didn't like the rest

S5:

cone gatherers - i think i've made it pretty clear what a fucking drag i've been having with this book recently. like it's fine, really, i just have to drag myself through it. (when we were reading through it in class it wasn't much better because my teacher would keep pausing to yap and it was like CAN WE MOVE ON PLEASE???) good book but my enjoyment is lacking because of studying it. gugrggrhhh boring

a streetcar named desire - half the signatures in my english class goodbye card we were all given to hand out to the class was "you were the better stanley". i don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. anyways, good play, LOADS to analyse (to the point where i got a damn good mark in my prelim despite having only One quote), actually made me do a lot of questioning because there is like. a maximum of two characters that aren't deplorable in some way

hopefully next year we'll have some good books... and ones which i will be able to reread when exam time rolls around without feeling intense, agonising boredom or whatever else

[ct-hardcase]

maybe I'm off my rocker but I can see in a roundabout way how the inquisitor number system could be in induction order (to be clear, I don't put that much time into understanding it anymore, this is just the amalgamation of years of theories and being not normal). I'm assuming a lot based on headcanon and there are some asspulls/inconsistencies in there, but as follows, I think there are a few "cohorts" of inquisitors:

The First Brother through the Fifth Brother, to me, make up Cohort One. I assume Cohort One also is primarily made up of Inquisitors that were either volunteers, or assumed that they would be:

We don't know much about the First Brother, yet, but given his whole design and some verbal clues, I'm assuming he's a fanatic and was the first to turn, if not the first recruit as a whole.

I have a theory that Trilla was not originally supposed to be the Second Sister—Cere was, given her on-the-record doubts about the Jedi and her skill as a Seeker. However, Cere Junda, though she did think the Order was flawed, did not turn as easily as assumed. Trilla Suduri, who imo was originally a Tualon-esque bonus inquisitor, got the title after Cere made a break for it/it was clear she'd be harder to turn.

I also think that Reva Sevander was not the original holder of the Third Sister title. Barriss was. Though I'd assumed her to be the First Sister, she fits in this cohort's theme of "people the inquisitors believed to be voluntary recruits", and is the number most open to the type of replacement that I think happened with Reva and Trilla. After Barriss defects, the number remains open until Reva is recruited.

Given that the Fourth Sister was already acting as an Inquisitor at the time of Order 66, we can assume that she was an early, and voluntary, recruit.

Though the Fifth Brother is not on Nur with the rest of the aforementioned group, it's made clear through his internal monologue that he did not think highly of the Jedi, even before the Purge, and that his being an Artemesian could have set him up as a target for early recruitment. His flashback in the Inquisitors comic series also implies that he may have killed his Master during Order 66.

Cohort Two, if I had to define it, is made up of Inquisitors who were previously slated for the Inquisitorius, but needed more intense conditioning/torture before getting there, given that they were all present for Vader's introduction to the Inquisitorius. In my opinion, this is the Sixth Brother through the Ninth Sister.

The Sixth Brother's position here is an assumption, and it could go either way. However, there are narrative clues imo wrt him needing to go through the conditioning process (Ahsoka wondering who 'twisted his potential for good', his own 'but lord vader, we saved you' before the novel, etc.).

Though we don't know much about the Seventh Sister either, we can guess from Iskat's narration that she went through conditioning as well.

Much like the Sixth Brother, the Eighth Brother is an assumption. However, given his place with the other characters, we can guess that he needed more intense conditioning.

The Ninth Sister's initiation process has been extremely confirmed by her. "Torture, isolation, mutilation," says it all, I think.

This next cohort is more nebulous, since it's made up of characters I think had a variety of motives and levels of volunteerism. I'll go through my reasoning for why someone might have the number they do, but it starts to fall apart here.

The Tenth Brother, though I would thematically put him with Cohort One, may have taken longer to condition, or, like Cere, did not take to the idea of the Inquisitorius as well as expected. He was on Coruscant a short while after Order 66, but not with the group from Cohort Two (though I don't remember exactly when; I'd have to reread RotRB).

The Thirteenth Sister's higher number, I expect, comes from her taking longer to accept her Inquisitor title, even though she was a volunteer. Interestingly, she joined at about the time I'd guesstimate the Inquisitors from Cohort Two did, but she seems behind them, which confuses even Iskat narratively.

Tualon doesn't have a number, but given that he arrives on Nur after Iskat (who's on the later end as-is), I assume he's the Fourteenth Brother, or something close. I guesstimate he took longer than the Cohort Two Inquisitors given that he was not previously slated and needed more time to break.

Marrok I assume is Eleventh or Twelfth. He's a bit of an enigma, because other than the fact that he was on Nur at the outset of the Inquisitorius (making him the odd one out here) and a general deference to Vader, we don't know much about him when he's not a cloud of Nightsister Magick. Given where he is, I also assume he was a voluntary recruit, but have no clue why he wouldn't be grouped with Cohort One.

[pttucker]

"Sooyoung-ah. Do you really believe that other companions don't know what's going on?" Han Sooyoung felt like she got punched in the head. "Dokja-ssi who doesn't talk about the Ways of Survival anymore… Do you really think others don't find that strange? Really?" "I-in that case…" "Most of the memories we share together, 'Kim Dokja-ssi' over there has it." The companions sitting on the mat and chatting away could be seen. Figures of Jung Heewon smiling brightly, while Lee Hyunsung was pouring beer; drunk Gong Pildu was singing, while Lee Seolhwa was clapping her hands. Jang Hayoung stood up from her spot and noisily yapped on with an exaggerated voice. – So, like, back in the Demon Realm… The 'Kim Dokja' they remembered was different from people to people.

Oomph.

It actually makes me feel a little sad that they noticed and all just silently decided to let it go. I get that this is literally what Dokja wanted and even if he's now feeling lonely on that subway out there somewhere in the universe (well at least now he has another Joonghyuk to harass to keep him occupied) it's his closest version to a true happy ending that he could find.

But I think I'm like Sooyoung in that, to me, Dokja is a reader and I just find it so alien that the other Dokja apparently took all of the memories of TWSA with him (understandable because 49% doesn't need them now that the scenarios are over) but more importantly seems to have taken even his desire to read it. Or even read any novel? Webnovel, at least. Dokja's phone was literally dead and he didn't even notice until Sooyoung brought it up.

And, maybe this is just me looking too hard because I know he's been split, but he even acts kinda strange beyond that? Like, Kim Dokja just outright honestly admitting that he's been having memory issues to everyone? Kim Dokja just letting Sooyoung basically go wild in front of him, even stab him, and having nothing to say about it?

I reread the section and honestly his companions do most of the talking and Dokja is uncharacteristically passive about it all. As if without TWSA (and without Fourth Wall? did the other Dokja take it with him??? or did that split too???) he's reverted back to the him that just quietly avoids his problems and doesn't resist when "bullied."

idk maybe it's because a lot of Dokja shines through his narration and this is in Sooyoung's narration so we actually can't see his "typical" Kim Dokja thoughts and feelings but it just seemed weird to me so I totally see why Sooyoung is agitated while the others are just quietly accepting it.

Not to mention, webnovels are the thing they shared so now Sooyoung has lost her connection with him completely. Literally their entire relationship was built around her being the next reader of TWSA and them strategizing together and I honestly wonder how much of that Dokja remembers if he doesn't remember the core part: TWSA. 😢

It is interesting though that Joonghyuk paused his cooking to hear Dokja's answer about his companion-related knowledge and then went right back to cooking after he answered. So I guess Joonghyuk also prefers the Dokja that just knows his companions? Which makes sense I suppose since Dokja reading TWSA has only ever been either useful to him (useful no longer) or a point of hurt between them.

[moefling]

Thoughts after reading Carry On. I will be rereading Wayward Son next (and AWTWB after). I'm making this list after finishing the book so some of these thoughts were in my head the entire reread and some are from annotations on my Kindle was I went. (Also this is my second read the first time I read it on audiobook)

I forgot that Simon was defiantly a troublemaker and pretty ruff and tumble even before he found out about The World of Mages

F*CK THE MAGE, but also he does have a good point about allowing other creatures and low power mages into Watford

Miss Possibelf is "not exactly human" (page 95)

Lucy was defiantly in an abusive relationship and she was still defending Davy after death. i also don't really think Davy loved her :/ at least not like she wanted

i don't think that Simon every really thought he had a future. like he kinda figured between the Humdrum and the old families we wouldn't live to have a future and before the World of Mages he was a kid in care who was always getting into trouble

its pretty sad that the Kids where very aware they were gonna have to fight to the death and they really didn't want it and none of the Adults were willing to comment on it (i think Matali makes a quick comment later in ATWB)

Simons wand didn't not work because it wasn't blood related to him

Fiona had a normal job lined up before Natasha died (pg 173)

i have a half baked idea that the reason Simon can share his magic with Baz is because he is a Vampire, like the Humdrum can "give" magic to creatures so Simon can too

i was figuring out the age gap between the two adult groups (Lucy vs Ebb) and had it narrowed down to basically the same age when Martin straight up said he was a few years older than them...

Lucy was in the cottage with Davy for around 2 years ish before she got pregnant

"It was just flirting, it's not like I tried to feed her to a chimera." (page 277)

Baz sucks his fangs when he's thinking (page 330)

"I can't believe you're asking me this, Snow. You, who can't walk away from half a sandwich." (page 429)

"I can't believe there's a part of your body that grows when you need it." (page 391) i'm pretty sure this was supposed to sound spicy but i laughed either way

when Baz tells Simon to run after the Humdrum comes to the Pitch estate i think i cried, reading it the second time i know Baz isn't really blaming Simon but i remember the first time i read it i though Baz really though Simon did it

"Maybe it's not a spell, Maybe he transformed" (pg 426) i think that this is saying more than we give it credit for - another half baked idea that Simon is like half imp/ demon/ elemental (i think we all like the dragon idea but i'm realizing CO really wonders about the tail and how it isn't a dragon tail)

when Simon kills the mage previously i though it was because the mage couldn't stop physically hurting Simon but i think it probably had more to do with the emotional damage (i'm sure some of it was physical but...)

when reading fanfic i also realized that CO doesn't actually say Lucy's brothers name (Jamie) or most of Baz's siblings names

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Dragon Reborn! Chapter 5: Nightmares Walking

Or uh, riding, since that's what my picture has. Alas. Anyway you know the drill by now I'm sure, spoilers for anything and everything under the sun in this post, especially The Wheel of Time since that's what I'm rereading.

This chapter has the Trolloc triptych because we're getting a Shadowspawn attack.

He opened his mouth to shout warning, and suddenly the door of Moiraine’s hut burst open and Lan dashed out, sword in hand and shouting, “Trollocs! Wake, for your lives! Trollocs!”

Perrin, with the magical help of an entire pack of wolves, is only ALMOST as fast to respond to a crisis as Lan. That man's real fucking badass, y'know? (But also: Perrin is fighting his powers every step of the way and Lan's got two decades of experience with his own supernatural aid. It's only a matter of time before Perrin makes Lan look like the chump.)

The Tuatha’an woman pressed her back against the log wall, a hand to her throat. The light from the burning trees showed him the pain and horror, the loathing on her face as she watched the carnage.

I was just reading some stuff iliiuan had to say on the Tuatha'an before I got into this chapter so let me just note: Leya's priorities are all out of whack here if Perrin's reliably relating her emotions. She's not keeping herself safe, she's just being judgy about violence happening in her vicinity. And it kills her.

All that mattered was that he had to reach Leya, had to get her to safety, and the Trolloc was in the way.

Perrin's desperation to do the right thing even though of course he could easily write Leya off as an inevitability (and an inconvenience until the inevitable happens to boot) is why he's a hero, you know? I'll be giving this boy the most shit out of anyone but he tries to save someone's life even though he knows he can't and that's something.

The stink of it filled his nostrils, goat-stench and sour man-sweat.

It's good to know that Trollocs produce all the scents available to them instead of just limiting themselves to one or the other. And by good I obviously mean gross, but since I read it you have to too!

She was still there, huddled in front of the hut, not more than ten paces upslope. And watching him with such a look on her face that he could barely meet her eyes.

Leya's zealotry may be a formative trauma for Perrin I think.

Suddenly Leya moved, throwing herself forward, attempting to wrap her arms around the Myrddraal’s legs.

Well that's great and all Leya but isn't restraining someone so they can't move a very light form of violence? Like good... well good may be strong, but some kind of positive adjective... effort trying to protect Perrin and all but if you tripped the Fade isn't that causing it physical harm? Where is the line for the Tuatha'an? Did she in the last moment of her life betray her own beliefs for nothing? Concerning if so.

“Fade,” Perrin said roughly, but then a different name came to him, from the wolves. Trollocs, the Twisted Ones, made during the War of the Shadow from melding men and animals, were bad enough, but the Myrddraal—. “Neverborn!” Young Bull spat.

Half the reason we don't get Rand POVs much in this book is that Perrin's stealing his TGH schtick of losing himself in his newfound powers. I think this is something of a leftover from the proto-Tam character who was going to be Jesus AND the luckiest SOB ever AND a werewolf AND probably a really good shot I guess or whatever that fourth kid was supposed to contribute. Being easily replaceable, maybe?

The urge to rush down the slope and join his brothers, join in killing the Twisted Ones, in hunting the remaining Neverborn, was strong, but a buried fragment that was still man remembered. Leya.

Perrin will of course spend this book (and the next... ten?) afraid that he might turn into a werewolf forever because of an encounter, but we see right here that this isn't a risk for him because he's always got stuff to pull him back. Leya's barely in the list of ten most recent people he talked to but he won't abandon his humanity for her sake - how much less likely is he to abandon it once he's got Faile?

He no longer thought of the greater battle. There was only the Trolloc he and the wolves—the brothers—cut off from the rest and brought down. Then there would be another, and another, and another, until none were left. None here, none anywhere.

Obviously this is a terrible viewpoint to adapt if you're trying to be the strategy guy, but since Perrin isn't that anyway and the battle isn't reliant on such things, it actually works for him here. He's also more aware of himself than he was with the Whitecloaks, showing he's developed a little with his powers even if he's afraid of them.

Young Bull threw back his head and howled with her, mourned with her. When he lowered his head, Min was staring at him. “Are you all right, Perrin?” she asked hesitantly.

Note that while Min's obviously freaked out by Perrin embracing his inner furry, she's not exactly treating him like a freak show either. Like I said, she'd probably be very supportive if she knew the details.

Frantically he walled himself off from contact with the wolves. Images seeped through, emotions, as he tried to stop them. Finally, though, he could no longer feel them, feel their pain, or their anger, or the desire to hunt the Twisted Ones, or to run. . . .

Again we can kind of see how the proto-Tam's various aspects would have tied into a central character arc, with rejecting the naturalistic wolf expression being just one more way he would have been hardening himself and just one more thing he'd need to embrace to be the full hero at the end.

The Shienarans still standing—so few—lifted their blades and joined him. “Tai’shar Manetheren! Tai’shar Andor!”

Hell, even the Shienarans aren't that judgmental since they are already following Rand around.

But when he was with the wolves, it was all so different. He did not have to worry about strangers being afraid of him just because he was big, then. There was no one thinking he was slow-witted just because he tried to be careful. Wolves knew each other even if they had never met before, and with them he was just another wolf.

Is it wrong that occasionally I think Perrin might be a little bit on the spectrum?

“A sign to confirm our faith. Even wolves came to fight for the Dragon Reborn. In the Last Battle, the Lord Dragon will summon even the beasts of the forest to fight at our sides. It is a sign for us to go forth. Only Darkfriends will fail to join us.”

Masema is of course foreshadowing his delightful nonsense, showcasing how he was still corrupted by Fain, and letting Jordan make it subtly clear that the real Last Battle will be more complicated. It's not just Darkfriends who won't be on the side of the Light, even at the very end.

Do you know what I did during the fight?” Still staring into the distance, Rand addressed the night. “Nothing! Nothing useful. At first, when I reached out for the True Source, I couldn’t touch it, couldn’t grasp it. It kept sliding away. Then, when I finally had hold of it, I was going to burn them all, burn all the Trollocs and Fades. And all I could do was set fire to some trees.”

Rand's an incredible channeler, but even he needs a teacher.

“We . . . dealt with them, Rand,” Perrin said. He shivered, thinking of all the wounded men down below. And the dead. Better that than the mountain down on top of us. “We didn’t need you.”

And likewise, in the final conflict, no one will be needing Rand to deal with the individual Shadowspawn and even if he could deal with them to keep the people alive it would be a waste of everyone's time.

There had been a man, Elyas Machera, who also could talk to wolves. Elyas ran with the wolves all the time, yet seemed able to remember he was a man. But he had never told Perrin how he did it, and Perrin had not seen him in a long time.

Sorry Perrin, but he doesn't really pull it off anywhere near well enough for your standards.

He gasped and almost dropped his axe. He could feel the skin on his back crawling, muscles writhing as they knit back together. His shoulder quivered uncontrollably, and everything blurred. Cold seared him to the bone, then deeper still. He had the impression of moving, falling, flying; he could not tell which, but he felt as if he were rushing—somewhere, somehow—at great speed, forever.

Another reminder that the best modern Aes Sedai have for healing at this point is emergency care, which works but definitely isn't the good stuff. Moiraine even tells him to eat afterward.

“Most of the wolves who were hurt made their own way to the forest,” Moiraine said, knuckling her back and stretching, “but I Healed those I could find.” Perrin gave her a sharp look, yet she seemed to be just making conversation. “Perhaps they came for their own reasons, yet we would likely all be dead without them.”

Moiraine is nice enough to try and thank Perrin subtly, but of course he's much too suspicious for any of that.

“If you could get me to Shayol Ghul now,” Rand said drowsily, “by Waygate or Portal Stone, there could be an end to it. No more dying. No more dreams. No more.”

It would obviously have a terrible ending, but a fanfic of Moiraine somehow taking sleep-deprived Rand to Shayol Ghul and just kind of hoping for the best would be hysterical. This Rand might not be as traumatized as he's going to be, but I still think assuming he'd last five minutes before agreeing to let the Dark One unmake reality is overly generous.

“That’s right,” Rand said bitterly. “I’m not to be trusted. Lews Therin Kinslayer killed everyone close to him. Maybe I’ll do the same before I am done.” “Pull yourself together, sheepherder,” Lan said harshly. “The whole world rides on your shoulders. Remember you’re a man, and do what needs to be done.”

If Perrin or Mat had tried sassing Lan like this they would have learned what their pancreas looked like once chopped in half before finishing the second sentence, so while Lan's toxic masculinity is of course only adding to the Dragonmount of psychological issues Rand's going to need to deal with, let's also reflect that it's still him going easy on his favorite boy.

Next time: Ingtar leads the crew out of Fal Dara, Rand finds out Moiraine fucked with his belongings again, and Lanf--

Wait no. Sorry. That was LAST book's chapter "The Hunt Begins". Next time we read THIS book's version, which probably has a lot less Ingtar due to his having a prior commitment. Also much less Rand on account of his running away.

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer In The Dark -- Evolution Of A Bit About Horses

Me: [doing a post about worldbuilding in my Valicer In The Dark universe back in June 2023] Hmmm -- I don't remember off the top of my head whether or not there were any mention of horses in the actual Blades In The Dark book. You know what, rather than checking, I'm going to be funny, pull a Fallout, and declare them extinct in the world of the Shattered Isles! That way, if I ever have my VITD trio visit another universe, I can amuse myself by having them be like "...what's a horse?" whenever the topic comes up! :D I'm sure that, when I next reread Blades In The Dark, nothing will pop up to utterly ruin my bit! :D

Me: [rereads Blades In The Dark and discovers plenty of references to horses -- including, most importantly, the fact that the natives of the nation of Severos who don't live in the Imperial cities live in tribes on their ghost-hunting horses]

Me: D: My bit :(

[later on:]

My Brain: Hmmmm...okay Vic -- I have given this some thought, and the way I see it, we can go one of three ways. One -- we keep the bit, throw out that stuff in the book, and say that horses are extinct in your version of the Shattered Isles. Two -- we toss the bit, admit we were wrong, and that horses do exist, even if they're rare. Or three -- and I think this is the best option -- we modify the bit and say that horses are extinct in your Shattered Isles everywhere but Severos.

Me: Why are you so sure Option 3 is the best option?

My Brain: Because not only does it mean we don't have to completely chuck the bit -- it also opens up a story idea. There's a Severosi faction in the book -- The Silver Nails, remember? They want to get control of the heavily-haunted Lost District, and one of their assets is supposed to be their cavalry horses. What if, in your world, they're trying to smuggle in those horses, haven't succeeded yet because the animals keep dying en-route -- and when they do get a living horse successfully into the city, it escapes? And the Three Pillars happen to be nearby when it does, and have to help stop the damn thing before it causes too much damage or gets itself killed? That could be a cool score for them to complete, and gives you plenty of opportunities for them to be absolutely freaked out by this weird-looking creature that they previously assumed was just a type of goat all the while. Just total "?!?! That's a horse?!" the whole time.

Me: ...you're right, that is the best option.

So yes -- please accept my extremely-belated apologies about being wrong about a small thing in my worldbuilding post from over a year ago that probably none of you remember, and enjoy this updated post on the status of horses in my version of the Shattered Isles and Duskwall. XD I am actually quite looking forward to writing that story at some point -- I suspect it will be most chaotic.