#i don't even get addicted to nicotine

[unpretty]

why am i so bad at drugs. caffeine makes me sleepy. alcohol is bone hurting juice. vicoden does nothing. the giant mouth-numbing syringe doesn't kick in properly until an hour after i left the dentist. i hit a vape pen and then i sit and wait 20-30 minutes. i say "this edible ain't shit" and nothing happens until 17 hours later when I wake up for work and realize i'm high. i am trying to misbehave but my own body keeps timegating me.

[gideonisms]

ngl having bad brain times. Can you ever physically FEEL the lack of the get things done chemical

[zo1nkss]

It's been 5-ish years since I touched a cigarette so here is a non-exhaustive and very personal list of things no one told me I would miss about nicotine/menthol and smoking culture:

Holding a cigarette

Idek how to describe this. It's just like, sometimes I'm not craving the smoke or the social aspect. Sometimes I just see someone holding a cigarette and I suddenly wanna feel that lil guy between my feengies. The amount of times I've had to supress the urge to ask complete strangers if I can just hold their cig for them deserves a nobel prize.

Scripts for buying cigs

Being autistic, I tend to get attached to common scripts bc it's very comforting knowing I can walk into a place for the first time, say something we both fully understand the meaning of, and walk out with exactly my desired product. There's almost nothing I do that has that level of ease and confidence. I'm also ADHD so even my food orders can't be that precise every time. It was a weird confusing comfort I didn't expect to lose.

The smell

This is one I feel like ppl genuinely lied about at times lol

That, or they're just stronger than me. Because everyone I ever talked to before quitting claimed they couldn't stand the smell and it made them sick after the first few months/couple years. I don't love breathing the smoke now, it iritates my airways a lot, but they still smell good to me? So?

I don't get sick to my stomach, either.

Joints help with some things, but make others worse

Weed has been a good alternative but there are still times I just wish it was a cigarette. I miss the filters, I miss the menthol, I miss so many things that I knew I'd miss and that I can't get with a J. Ppl said it curbed their cravings completely snd that's great for them, but sometimes it exaserbates mine.

Mint

Listen, ik not everyone is a menthol person but there was something rlly special about smoking that very first camel crush out of the pack and getting to enjoy the fresh menthol flavor for the next couple hours.

[2024skin]

Im trying to learn how to blow smoke rings with weed but all I've accomplished so far is getting Really high

[zooophagous]

like, because nicotine or because vapes? coz i vape weed a lot and never anything else but i thought that wasn't as bad

Specifically nicotine vapes. Weed vapes are probably not good for you either but THC doesn't match the pure addictive quality of nicotine. I have clients in my chair who get upset that they can't vape in my studio (legally they can't and I'd get in trouble with not only my landlord but the state)

It's to the point where they're so dependent on it It's actually annoying even beyond second hand smoke reasons. Their lives are so consumed by the need for their nicotine fix that they can't sit nicely in a 45 minute appointment without it.

Having seen first hand what an incurable nicotine habit does to people, I am incredibly worried for them. They know lung cancer is a thing, sure. But they don't know about vascular diseases that can make you an amputee.

They know about lung cancer but they don't appreciate that lung cancer can become brain cancer and literally leave them a brain damaged angry shell of their former selves living with constant nerve pain.

Some of the smartest people I know have become deranged and demented conspiracy theorists who only ever talk to their family to accuse them and insult them because of the damage cancer and chemo did to their brains, and it all started with a lung nodule that was born out of a decades long nicotine habit.

It's a rotten awful poison. We finally escaped the clutches of cigarettes everywhere and things were looking up and now every 16 year old is hooked on these stupid fucking vapes and I fucking hate it.

[reallyromealone]

This doesn't have to be a request if you don't want to write it. But can you imagine what it would be like to be the boyfriend in a poly relationship with Zoro and Sanji? Like Zoro focuses more on his swords, drinking, and napping. But Sanji focuses on women, cooking, and smoking. I'd feel so bad because while you love them both, you just don't feel like they actually love you as much.

Sorry for that. I just saw a angsty headcannon on pinterest and my heart just broke. Also how is Lily???? We miss seeing her so much

Title: endings

Fandom: one piece

Characters: strawhat crew

Fic type: angst

Pairings: Zoro x reader x Sanji

Warnings: male reader, reader insert, angst, gay

Notes:

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

(Name) Loved his boyfriends.

He really did.

But... He often felt that they didn't love him as much.

Zoro was always out drinking or napping or showing more love to swords than his partners... Always blowing off (name)s ideas for dates or dinners or anything that he didn't want to do even slightly.

Want to go for a walk? Nah, rather nap.

Want to go to dinner at a nice restaurant? Nah rather get drunk with friends.

And then there was Sanji.

Flirting with women, cooking to the point of obsession and even snapping at (name) for entering his kitchen and a nicotine addiction that made him worry.

He had shitty boyfriends.

He was aware.

And so was everyone, seeing as Nami let Sanji flirt with her and buy her things.

What a traitor or was she ever on his side?

He was an outsider in his own relationship, unsure what to do.

But he believed he had an answer to it all and he hated it.

(Name) Walked to deck where he saw his boyfriends drinking and partying with the others, staring at Sanji chatting up the girls and Zoro absolutely tanked, eyes growing empty and distant at the sight.

It was usopp who noticed (name) first and went up to him "you alright?" He asked the other who slowly stared at the black haired man "I'm fine... I just realized I have something to do"

(Name) Took a quill and some parchment and wrote up his breakup letter before placing it on Sanji's bed, knowing he was more likely to read it before grabbing his bag and belongings.

A quick conversation with Luffy and a mournful goodbye from him and (name) left the ship, the captain understanding why he needed time to himself and to think things over, giving him a compass as a parting gift.

(Name) Didn't know how they would react or if they cared but he knew this was what he needed to do.

And hopefully he would come out happier.

[jinnie-ret]

cigarette duet

poly!stray kids x ninth member!reader

genre: angst, fluff at the end

content warnings: smoking, mentions of rehab, mentions of recovery

word count: 3k

summary: you get hounded by your boyfriends after they catch you smoking. how will they react when you disappear and go off the radar?

requested: @ihrtlix

It has been a while since I've written! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get around to the requests for this event but I'm getting back into the swing of things! Hope you enjoy! Please don't take offense to any opinions presented in this imagine. Enjoy! And if you want to be tagged in anything I write please lemme know! <3

1K FOLLOWERS PLAYLIST 💚🖤

MAIN MASTERLIST

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Perhaps you had smoked one too many cigarettes last night. Waking up the next morning after battling your stresses with the addictive feed of nicotine, your throat felt dry, hoarse, scratchy even.

"Baby, are you sure you're not sick?" Felix fussed, placing his hand delicately on your forehead to gain an idea of your temperature. "I mean, you don't feel hot, but maybe you're coming down with something?"

"I'm fine, love, just need some water," you kiss his hand that was pulling away from your face, offering a reassuring smile after clearing your throat.

And in your mind, that was enough. You didn't notice the little things that your boyfriends did however.

"Binnie, what are you doing? You look like a perv haha," Hyunjin giggled at the sight of Changbin rummaging through the laundry basket and sniffing your hoodie.

"Ssshhh, keep it down. And plus, it's not being pervy, people in relationships do it all the time. It's comforting smelling each other's clothing," Changbin righteously pointed out to his boyfriend, puffing his chest before adding, "well, normally it is..." he sighed.

"Woah that's mean, you can't say our girlfriend smells," Hyunjin pushed Changbin's shoulder, laughing again but with wide eyes this time round.

"No, no, you've got the wrong idea anyways. I think... I think Y/N's been smoking. I can smell it on her hoodie," Changbin sighed, tossing the white hoodie of yours back into the washing basket that was full to the brim. He was about to continue his spiel of conspiracies until he jumped when your arms wrapped around behind him.

"Aw, babe, are you doing the washing? Thank god for that, I was worried it would never get done," you squeezed him tightly once more before kissing him on the cheek and continuing your venture into the kitchen, Felix trailing behind you.

"I think she's getting sick, I'm gonna see if we have any meds in the cupboard, or some throat sweets at least," Felix pouted as he walked past his two boyfriends, Hyunjin ruffling his hair on the way.

Changbin threw a meaningful look at Hyunjin, alarms going off in his head because it only added more fuel to the blazing fire of thoughts in his head.

"Look, we don't know that she is smoking for sure. Maybe she's just been around some friends that are?" Hyunjin whispers hurriedly, yet this caught Seungmin's attention, and his ears too.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Seungmin casually stood between the two, grabbing laundry detergent and capsules from the cupboard to act natural yet because practical at the same time.

"I'll explain later, to all of you. I'm just a bit concerned," Changbin sighed, rubbing his hand across his face before actually making a start on the chore at hand.

It was an escape for you, much like it was for other people who smoked cigarettes. And plus, you hadn't been doing it for long. You thought what could the harm be when you didn't do it a lot? Plus, it was handy that none of your boyfriends batted an eyelid in the studio when you said you wanted to go outside for some air. In fact, it gave the opportunity for Changbin to lay out his thoughts to the rest of your boyfriends who hadn't yet heard his observations.

"Y/N... I don't think she'd do that, I can't picture it," Jeongin shook his head, shaking his hands in confusion because the picture being painted in front of them seemed very unlikely and it wasn't a nice one to think of.

"And she knows it's too risky. First of all we're idols. I hate to say it but we have to think about that first in situations like these. Even when we're drinking we've got to be careful. If you're right about this, Binnie, then..." Chan groaned, leaning back into his seat with a huff.

"But she did just go out 'for some air'," Han added on, brows furrowed as he thought what Changbin was saying was quite plausible.

"Ok. We'll go check then," Minho shrugged as he stood.

"What?" Felix too stood up.

"We can't sit here and keep worrying. Let's go check and see for ourselves. If we're wrong... And I hope we are... Then it's fine," Minho grabbed his phone and shoved it into his pocket, scanning around the room for his boyfriends' reactions.

"And if we're not wrong, then what?" Hyunjin voiced his concerns.

"Let's just hope we're not," Chan was first to walk out the door, the rest of Stray Kids following along after him like ducklings and their mother. Apart from this time it wasn't the cute, adorable scene you'd hope for, especially because they could smell the smoke and see your lax figure as soon as they rounded the corner to the back of the building.

"No. Y/N you've got to be kidding me!" Chan snatched the cigarette out of your hand and immediately stomped it out.

"Chan I-" you fumbled on your words, eyes wide as you had all eight of your lovers stood in front of you. And the way they looked at you made you stomach twist into knots you were sure you'd never felt.

Disappointment. Anger. Concern. Indifference.

"Let's talk about this inside," Changbin wrapped an arm around your shoulder as he spoke quietly to you.

Your heart was racing faster. They were going to think the worst. But you had a way out of this. It wasn't even that bad. Sure, over the past month maybe you'd have been spending more money on packs of cigarettes, yet on the inside you felt as if there were worse things you could be doing to yourself.

"Sit," Minho bluntly said, face unreadable, tone void of emotion.

And so you did.

"We'll just have a conversation about this, nice and calm, ok?" Felix nudged Chan in particular with his leg.

It seemed however that it wasn't a conversation, but more of an intervention. A heated one, at that.

"I can't be nice and calm, Lix! Our girlfriend is destroying her body, and for what?" Chan's voice rose ever so slightly, hands squeezing the arms of the chair he was tensely sat in.

"It's just a cigarette," you feebly replied. That backbone of yours was slowly wearing away the more and more anger you felt radiating off of your partners.

"Don't be ridiculous," Seungmin scoffed, "think of the damage it's doing. Think about your career."

"It's more than just the odd cigarette, right?" Changbin prodded, wanting answers to the millions of questions he had. After all, he was the first one to notice how you gradually stopped voicing your concerns to him but still sometimes had the habits that showed your anxiety.

"Well, yes, but-" you began but were cut off.

"No buts. That's... It's, you're hurting yourself, hurting your lungs. Why are you doing this, baby?" Jeongin took your hand in his, concern not the only thing glistening in his eyes, which broke your heart.

"It's just a nice distraction, that's all. It won't go on forever, I'll just stop when I want to," you shrug your shoulders, squeezing his hand to show you meant what you said.

"It's not that easy. Nicotine. It's addictive. You think you can just stop like that?" Hyunjin frowned, shaking his head.

"I know I can," you firmly said, urging them with your voice to trust you.

"I don't know what planet you're living on," Chan shook his head.

"Channie..." Felix bit his lip, feeling torn. On one hand he didn't want your boyfriend to be so tough with you, but he also disagreed with the choices you made, the ones you were making.

"No I'm sorry but Y/N, babe, you've made one of the stupidest choices you could make! Seungminnie is right, Jeongin too. It's damaging for your body, let alone your career. You keep this up, you're not going to be able to sing as well as before. And then it'll get to the point where you can't breathe as well anymore," Chan ranted, fiddling with the bracelets adorning his wrist as he didn't take his eyes away from yours, not once.

"I just told you it's not going to go that far!" your face contorted to one of disbelief.

"That's out of your control," Minho sternly redirected your attention to him.

"Wow. It's like you don't even trust me. I'm not some kid. I can make my own decisions. So what if I'm doing this for a little bit of stress relief? For a bit of fun. It helps me," your voice almost turns to pleading, wanting them to hear you out, hear your reasoning.

"It hurts you, baby. And when it hurts you, it hurts us as well," Han bit his lip after shakily speaking up. He didn't like this situation, not one bit.

"I'm not doing it to hurt you. I'd never do that," your voice wobbled, throat feeling as if it was closing up from the sob that was lodged down there.

"Too late. I mean just look," Chan emptied your handbag, empty packets of cigarettes and some not, falling out onto the floor of the studio.

"Y/N, that's a lot," Hyunjin gasped, clutching a hand on his chest.

"It's not. It's not that bad..." you denied as you knelt on the floor and tidied up the mess.

"You're in complete denial," Seungmin rolled his eyes.

"I'm not! I'm well aware of my actions thank you very much!" you shouted suddenly, causing everyone to freeze at the volume you had just reached.

The guilt set in. It was never meant to go this far. It was just meant to be for stress relief. Something to distract you from the aches and pains, physical and mental. It wasn't long until you'd be performing a special fanmeeting and relearning old choreographies and a cover had you feeling like you were being worked down to the bone. Even iconic dances like God's Menu were hard to remember, and you felt like you had no chance. No choice. It was like it fell into your lap so easily.

The first time you had stood outside to catch some air, it was for that genuine reason. And you weren't alone. You didn't know if the person worked at your company, if you knew them, whatever. But their hand offering you something that could bring you temporary bliss was a solution you were grateful for. Only now, you were seeing that it was short term.

"You need help. Seriously..." Chan spat, grabbing his backpack and storming out of the studio.

"Find a way to end this, Y/Nnie," Felix mumbled, stroking your hair gently before following Chan out with a rush.

"You're all just going to go?" your voice cracked. Were they leaving you now?

"We just need some time," Changbin sighed. And then he was gone too.

"You're leaving me?" you sniffled, standing up to face your boyfriends that were still in the room.

"Not like that, baby. We're just giving you time to think about how you can stop this, ok?" Han stroked your face as he made sure you knew this wasn't the end. And then he left too, Minho, Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jeongin leaving too.

All alone. Perhaps it was what you deserved. You relied on the cigarettes more than your boyfriends. And they were all you had left for the moment. That was when it sank in. You had to make a change. You had to stop this habit form taking over your life, from pushing away the people you love most, and from taking your life away.

•••

"She's sorting herself out at least... that's got to be commendable."

"I guess so. Let's just hope it doesn't get out that a JYP idol is at rehab for smoking."

"It won't. And she's doing well from what I've heard..."

This was the only time Han was grateful for the staff gossiping. Immediately, he felt calmer. Considering the boys had spent the last few days blowing up your phone and worrying where you went, it was an oddly relieving feeling hearing you were at rehab. They had tried asking JYP himself, asking the manager of the company where you were but all they said was that you were safe.

"I know where she is!" Han bursted through the apartment door, slamming it shut behind him as he panted out of breath.

"Woah, woah, ok, deep breaths, let's sit down," Chan, with the darkest circles around his eyes yet, gently sat Han down on the sofa. He felt awful. He thought he had driven you away from them all. From the group. From the relationship. And that had been eating him up inside. It was a wonder he could act so calm with the news of you going into rehab.

"Rehab? For smoking? I didn't even know that was a thing," Seungmin hummed in thought, his arms crossed.

"I didn't either, but I overheard the staff. They say she's doing well. It's a good thing, right?" Han's eyes stared through the souls of everyone gathered in the lounge, begging for some sort of confirmation that things would get better.

"I mean, at least we're a bit more in the know then our own fans about why our girlfriend is on hiatus," Changbin brushed his fluffy, dark hair out of his eye.

"Can't we go and see her?" Felix wondered, lifting his head up from where it rested on Minho's shoulder.

"We shouldn't," Minho quietly sighed.

"Why not?" Jeongin quickly turned to him, mouth parted in shock that he didn't want to see Y/N.

"No, he's right. She's gone there for a reason. To get better. It's what we all said to her, isn't it? We'll see her soon. And when we do... It'll all be better," Chan helped everyone see sense. He was right. You had listened to them. You went and got help and were solving the problem. If they suddenly ambushed you and got in the way of that... You'd be back to square one.

•••

Today was the day, you were finally going back to the boys. You spent a good 3 weeks at rehab, and had been advised on some good coping mechanisms to take your mind off of smoking and how to create some healthier habits. You had shown good progress and it was deemed acceptable for you to leave and spend time back with your loved ones. And you couldn't lie, you were incredibly nervous. You had dropped a text without reading the spam that littered the groupchat, notifying your boyfriends what time you'd be returning, but after that you once again did not read anything else that was sent.

"Oh my baby, I've missed you so much," Han was the first one at the door, pressing kisses all over your face as he took you into his arms, holding you lightly.

"I've missed you too," you cried immediately, despite the weight off your shoulders.

"You're good now, right, darling?" Seungmin softly tugged you away from Han, both of his hands cupping your face whilst his thumbs wiped away your tears.

"I'm better," you nod through tears, Seungmin pressing a kiss to your head and giving space for your other boyfriends to soothe you and reunite with you. It had only been three weeks, yes, but 21 days had never felt so long.

"I'm proud of you, come here," Changbin scooped you into his arms and lifted you slightly, making you giggle before your feet touched the ground once more.

"Thank you... I'm sorry. I didn't realise what I had done... How far it went, you know?" you began, looking down at the floor as Hyunjin came and wrapped his arms around you from behind, his long arms securing you to him.

"We're just happy to see you here, honey, healthier," he whispered into your ear soothingly.

"And please talk to us in future. We had time to think after that, moment, and we know you were doing it as an escape. But we're here for you," Jeongin pecked you on the lips, your heads pressed against each other for a moment before he too moved away.

"Always, we're always here," Felix reiterated what Jeongin preached, and kisses you as well, noses rubbing against each other as he moved away, a cute expression on his face.

"Come here," Minho opened his arms, and you reluctantly left Hyunjin's arms only to be happy again in the warmth of your other boyfriend's embrace.

"Thank you for waiting, all of you," you swayed with him in his hug, until you pulled away and it was only Chan left.

He stood a few metres away, back to you, shoulders shaking ever so slightly.

"Channie... babe," you sighed, tugging his hand to turn him and face you. His words had hurt you the most but it was also a huge wake up call. "Please, look at me, I'm not mad. I'm so grateful."

"I was too harsh with you," he bit his lip, hard, not wanting to let any tears escape.

"I needed it. Look at me now, I'm here, I'm better, and I've got habits I can stick to instead. Ones that won't hurt me. And they won't hurt you guys either," you looked up at him, one hand running through the hair at the nape of his neck and the other cupping his face.

"I'm so glad you're back... We were worried... Lost without you," Chan admitted, staring up at the ceiling before kissing you deeply, expressing all the emotions he had held back whilst you were gone.

"It's all good now. Plus, you should all be proud of me-"

"We are proud of you, baby," Jeongin cut you off stroking your hair.

"Well, be even prouder because I know how to bake an amazing carrot cake if I say so myself," you laughed, sharing a new skill that had occupied your stress and been taught whilst you were away.

"You can bake with me now! Oh my gosh! It's a miracle!" Felix cheered, tugging you into the kitchen as the other boys chuckled from behind you both.

"I didn't think you meant this very second!"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @kailee08 @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami @yangbbokari @skzoologist @crabrangoongirl25 @atinyniki @writingforstraykids @minholing @lilmisssona @astraysimp @lixie-phoria

[h-harleybaby]

this might be slightly boring but i saw it on another blog and it’s been plaguing my mind ever since

making out hcs w with Butters, Kyle and Kenny pls? 🥺 it does something feral to me man idk

Making out hcs with Butters, Kyle, and Kenny

Butters

• Butters kisses are usually really soft and gentle, y'all don't often make out because he gets too embarrassed

• He's pretty nervous but that's probably just because you're the first girl he's ever made out with and he wants to get it right for you

• He loves making out with you tho, whenever y'all do he swears sparks fly

• Turns out it just wasn't a good idea to make out in abandon building with bad wiring because sparks actually DID fly. Technically he was right tho

• He doesn't often take the lead with making out, he prefers to leave it up to you

• Butters is probably the type to accidentally moan in the kiss and feel really embarrassed about it and hope to god you didn't hear it

• You did. But you also really liked it and you encouraged him to do it more often/not hold back. He practically melted when you said that-

• He really likes it when you bite his lip while you're making out but he'll never admit that, he's scared you would think it's weird

• He's really physical, he just needs to have his hands on you. So often times he'll cup your cheeks or have his hands slightly under your shirt (only to hold your hips, he wouldn't dare go any farther without your permission)

• He also really likes it when tug on his hair a lil while y'all make out, he can't explain it for the life of him it just feels really good

Kyle

• Making out with Kyle is really sweet, I swear! He's just really awkward about it

• But it's honestly really cute <33

• He gets so scared because he's thinking "What if I kiss weirdly?? What if they don't like my kisses?? WHERE DO I PUT MY HANDS-"

• Ya know, that kinda stuff. You probably have to guide his hands to your waist or something so he'll stop mentally freaking out and sweating

• Hear me out, Kyle probably gets so nervous that his hands start shaking, and when you put his hands on your waist his finger literally will not stop tapping you. It's a nervous habit he has, like tapping your fingers on a desk

• Once he gets in the hang of it and stops freaking out he probably thinks he died and went to heaven. You gotta be an angel, right?!

• He's probably the type to smile into a kiss and whenever y'all separate he looks at you with heart eyes

• Although at first, kissing made him really nervous once he gets used to it, it probably calms him down and makes him act like a complete simp

• The world around him disappears because now all he can think of is you and your kisses

• He just can't get enough of you <3333

Kenny

• Kenny's really passionate when making out, and tbh he's always trying to make out with you

• He can't keep his hands to himself either, so they're gonna be everywhere

• He's also the kind of person who smirks into a kiss and literally grabs your waist to pull you in closer

• He loves when you have your hands in his hair when y'all make out, it just makes him more eager

• Y'all are probably a little light headed at the end of at least one kiss because he doesn't wanna let go

• Most of the time kisses between y'all end in making out, no matter where you are, even if it's just a lil peck

• Can you really blame him for wanting more?

• Hear me out on this, Kenny probably smokes and he accidentally got you addicted to his kisses because of the nicotine in the cigarettes he smokes

• Kenny feels really bad about it and he tries to quit smoking

• But he isn't complaining too much, it also means more making out for him

[nthspecialll]

Historical accuracy

When it comes to Red Dead Redemption historical accuracy plays a massive role in the characters every move, from the way they dress to the way they talk and naturally their opinions and because Rockstar are so good at remembering that it is crucial to remember it when thinking about the characters.

No it is not weird Bill is a racist, even around Dutch. No Javier is not just cruel in chapter six. No Dutch is not an all good progressive guy. No Arthur would not "treat you right." However these opinions are not completely popular amongst the fandom because some don't understand it. What do you mean Arthur who helped women believes in gender roles? What do you mean Dutch who saved Lenny is a raging racist against others? What do you mean Bill who is in a fairly progressive gang still dislikes people of color? What do you mean Javier who yelled at Abigail could be understood when doing so?

Even if all of these things don't make sense to us, doesn't mean it doesn't actually make sense. When looking at it from a historical perspective it makes perfect sense, however, a lot of us lack the general knowledge about that time for it to naturally fit for us.

This makes headcannoning and theorizing a lot harder, not just because it is not everyone who can just have access to all of this information which often would make a historian frown if they read the headcannon, but also because these characters are so diverse and comes from such diverse pasts.

For example, another piece of knowledge that most of the fandom lacks that would put a stick in many headcannons is that men in the 1800's were generally affectionate with one another and weren't afraid of sweet words or physical touch. A lot of VanDerMatthrews is based on their physical touch and sweet words, however that said Arthur does say people could mistake their affection for something else, meaning they would sometimes go over what was considered normal.

Another headcannon I can quite fast debunk is "Arthur is an alcoholic," a headcannon I have so far only seen based on the fact that he drinks every time there is a bar scene, however people forget that there was a different drinking culture back then and it was normal for people to drink more than what we do today. Karen is an actual alcoholic and there is a massive difference between her who had found the bottom of the bottle at 10pm and Arthur who drank whenever he came into a bar.

The same can be said with "Arthur is so addicted to nicotine! That is why he took the cigarette Seamus threw on the ground!" No there just wasn't that good hygiene back then and there was an appreciation for not letting a good cigarette go to waste.

Again, some of these minor details can be so hard to get right that I do not blame people for getting them wrong, I have myself had to delete posts because there were things I did not know, but they are there some bigger ones that I do think are more commonly known or at least should be.

[riki-riks-chick]

Chainsmoker┃L.HS

smoker!heeseung x reader

heeseung smokes cigarettes, but yn wants him to quit.

cw: arguments, cigarettes, smoking, addiction.

wdct: 748

this is a request to make a longer version of this req.

═════════════

Third Person POV~

"Heeseung.. Wake up, baby.." You shake his shoulder, trying to wake him as he groans. "What?.." He asks sleepily as you sigh. "We're supposed to go shopping today, and then we're going to lunch. Get up." He nods, sitting up. "Okay.."

The two of you spend the next hour getting ready before heading to the front door, but you stop, turning to Heeseung.

"Give me your lighter.." You sigh, holding your hand out as he sighs, giving you the lighter. "Baby.. Do I really have to?" He asks as you nod. "Yes, smoking is terrible for you and I hate it.. I'll carry your gum if you want, but at least try the patches.. You're not making any effort to quit.."

He sighs, pretty much ignoring you as you roll your eyes, grabbing your keys before stepping out the door, locking it behind Heeseung.

Throughout the day, Heeseung is in a bad mood. And you know it's because he wants to smoke, but you physically can't stand it. It's not only a very unhealthy habit, but it's annoying. The nicotine kisses, the brand new outfits that now smell like cigarette smoke. You're so over it to the point that you're considering Heeseung not moving in with you permanently. And that's not something you want because you love your boyfriend, but he can't seem to give it up.

"Heeseung, do you think this is cute?" You ask, holding up a cute cardigan as he nods. "Yeah, whatever." You roll your eyes, hanging it back on the rack. "I get that you're pissed, but don't take it out on me. I'm only trying to help, Heeseung." You whisper yell as he scoffs. "Have you ever considered that I don't want your help?"

His tone is seething with anger, and it only makes you more upset. "Fine then.. Don't expect me to ever help you again. And you can move back to your apartment while you're at it."

Your tone is bitter, and he simply scoffs, turning to walk away. "Where are you going?" You question as he turns around, glaring at you. "Somewhere you aren't."

He then walks away as you sigh, running a frustrated hand through your hair. He's so stubborn sometimes. You've tried to get him to quit smoking multiple times before. You had even given up clubbing and drinking because he said, "I can't be the only one to give something up." 

Now it's been a year and you haven't had an alcoholic beverage at all, but he's still smoking.

And you're not perfect, and you can't judge him for his addiction, but you're only trying to help.

You walk around for the next thirty minutes, trying to give Heeseung time to cool off before using his location to find him.

His location said that he was at the convenience store just a block away, so you walked there, taking your time. Soon enough, you found him outside the convenience store, a cigarette perched between his fingers as he took a slow drag. 

Once his eyes met yours, he exhaled, putting the cigarette out. You walked over to him, ignoring the strong and recognizable scent of cigarettes on him. "I'm sorry I spoke to you that way."

You apologize, not wanting him to stay mad over what you said. He doesn't seem to want your apology, though.

"I don't wanna talk right now." He speaks lowly, and you sigh, grabbing his hands in yours. "Please, Hee.. I didn't mean that.. I was just upset and I misspoke." You apologize again and Heeseung's gaze drops. "So you do wanna live with me?..." He asks as you nod. "Of course I do.. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, baby.."

You hug him and his wraps his arms around you, rubbing your back. "Sorry, I probably stink.." He pulls away, rubbing the back of his neck as you smile.

"It's fine.. I'll try to be less controlling.." He shakes his head. "No.. You were right.. It's a bad habit and I'm gonna quit.. I don't want you to resent me.." 

You smile, kissing his cheek. "I could never resent you.. Don't worry.. We'll help you quit together. Okay?" He nods, hugging you again.

"I'll try my hardest.."

═════════════

[mirusuchanne]

⌕Beach and a bikini - Theodore Nott

Warnings: smut, dirty talk, desperation, mention of smoking, fingering under water, unprotected sex, trying to hold in moans while others are watching.

A/N: girlies are thirstier in the summer, so I'm giving you the smuttiest smut, enjoy!

Summer vacation with lots of fun, with tiny bikinis which barely covered five percent of your body was all fun and games for you. But not for one specific person. He didn't like others seeing the body he just fucked , the body he pleasured in an inhumane way just a couple of days ago. You were avoiding him, since you didn't want any bruises on your body with those tiny bikinis on. It would be really embarrassing for you, so you kept away from him and his touches.

Well, he had enough. You were splashing water towards Pansy and giggling, you were both having fun. Lorenzo and Blaise joined you too, hitting you with enormous waves. You jumped back at the sudden mass of water Zabini threw at you. Your hair got all wet, you shot up from water and gasped, sliding your hands down your hair.

It was silent, until Blaise said:

"Well, that was hot"

"Oh, shut the fuck up, I know" you answered as you felt someone's sharp, direct look. It almost burnt your skin. You looked at the shore, just to see Theo dressed in a fancy suit above a beach shirt (typical Italian man) , smoking a cigarette and looking at you with darkened eyes. His jaw was clenched, muscles tense and the eyes spoke the words of danger.

"Join us, Nott!" Lorenzo yelled as he saw him too.

You knew he was desperate, 𝘴𝘰 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦. He turned into a villain without you. Cigarette was his second favourite thing: you were his first favorite thing to smoke, more directly- to suck on and to swallow everything from. For him, you were more addicting than nicotine.

With a swift motion, but also painfully slowly, he took the last puff out of his cig and threw it between the rocky sand. Then he took off his shirt, revealing the body of a Greek god, following his trousers- he already had swim shorts on. Well, he knew what he was doing. He decided to join you in the water, and there was no way you could escape him that moment. He started walking towards the water, not even flinching to the dead cold water, not stopping to ease the cold, just moving directly towards you. You gulped from fear and tiny bit of excitement. When the water got deeper, he swam right next to you as you felt his hand slide down on your waist. Right, teasing.

Pansy and the boys went on with playing. You were dead silent.

"Missed me, principessa?" He asked quietly and chuckled. "You thought I was going to sit in the corner like a puppy-" he groaned and squeezed your ass "-and fantasize about fucking you, hmm? You thought I was not going to do anything? Huh?" He squeezed you harder, until you couldn't breath even though his hands were only on your ass and thighs. "Oh, you forgot how to talk now?" His accent got heavier. He was up to something, and you quickly realized that when his fingers went down your panties.

You bit my bottom lip to prevent a whimper escaping your lips. "T-theo" you mumbled. Your mind was gone all blank. He was drugging you with his touch, in the water, in front of everyone. "Please" you whispered and closed your eyes.

"Is something wrong?" Pansy asked. You felt his hot breath on your neck.

"No, I'm alright" you mumbled. "I'm just.. Seasick?"

"You're fucking stupid" Pansy laughed and turned back to the boys, shooting a water at them.

"Looks like you're enjoying all this, huh?" He whispered and softly bit the sensitive area behind your ear. "Getting fingered under the water in such a tiny bikini? Holding in your moans for me? you don't deserve such treatment, principessa, but here I am, making you go crazy for me. My service also works under the water, you know that now"

The harsh and dirty talk in between his tough thursts really made you go crazy. "Ngghhhh~" it was really all you could say, and biting your lip and pinching your eyes shut was all you could do. He adjusted second finger, and quickly, third.

"Oh, I didn't know getting fucked in front of others was one of your sexual fantasies" he whispered again, and you couldn't bear it anymore. Overstimulation suddenly hit you, your stomach curled in a circle and you were suddenly going to explode from all the teasing. He felt that too, he knew you better than you knew yourself. Suddenly, he pulled out and slid his hand out of you bikini underwear. You groaned in disbelief and desperation.

He slowly took his hand out of water and sucked on his fingers softly. Blaise looked at him in confusion, and Theodore added:

"Water is tasty in here" with a dirty little smirk on his face. He looked at you up and down and you frowned in anger, swimming away to leave the water. When you finally escaped the cold water, you realized that you couldn't walk properly. That fucker made you forgot how to walk just with his three fingers.

You furiously entered the changing cabin on the beach. It also had a shower, so you let the water pour on your face and body. You closed your eyes and relaxed, your mind suddenly shifted to what just happened. Suddenly, you heard someone's deep voice:

"Look who forgot to lock the door" shit, you had forgotten it. Or, maybe you did it on purpose so Theodore would join you? You didn't really think of that, you were already making out with him roughly and desperately. He squeezed your ass and removed your bikini, looking at your breasts with admiration. He kissed one of your boob passionately, and gently stroked the other.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you" he said and his words sent vibrations to your skin, going down your spine like a cold air. Water was pouring on both of you, you cought his hair and ran your fingers though it. "Baby, keep going" you moaned as he went down your core and slid his tongue across your folds. You gasped in pleasure.

He started eating you out like a desert. His desire to taste you had grown stronger and stronger, and you could see it too.

"Spread you legs" he demanded and you did so. With a sharp motion, his shaft was already moving back and forth against your cunt, and without you even realizing, he slammed in his full length. You turned into a moaning mess, feeling as your walls tightened around his member. His motions were slow from the start so you could get accustomed to his length, but then he went wild. The sound of your skins clapping went louder and louder, his groans got more and more desperate, and motions faster and faster. That was all you yelled. "𝘍𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳.. 𝘕𝘨𝘩𝘩𝘩~ 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬, 𝘧𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳!~"

And he followed your command. He was close, and you were too. Finally, he pulled out and shoot his erection on your ass, rubbing it on your skin.

"Fuck, we should take this to the hotel room before you fully forget how to walk, principessa" you felt his hot chuckle against your skin, and you nodded with loud, exhausted breathing escaping your lips.

"I'll have to wear bigger bikinis now, I probably have lots of brusises" you sighed and took his hand to straighten yourself.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Ponyboy and Addiction

CW: mentions of drugs and alcohol abuse

For a fandom that really seems to like Ponyboy angst people don't really talk much about how the book very carefully but consistently planted the seeds of what could be Ponyboy's downfall in the east side, the main thing that could fuck up his plans for college or any sort of better life: Ponyboy has an addictive personality. The biggest evidence of this is, of course, his nicotine addiction and love of cigarettes which he is scarcely without throughout the book. Yes, all the greasers smoke, and yes, he uses it as a way to calm down in incredibly stressful situations, but the truth of the matter is that Ponyboy is a fourteen year old who cannot go more than a few hours without nicotine. Even after a cigarette lit the church on fire, even when he's recovering from a major concussion, he's still smoking in his bed, and not only a little bit either. Darry tells him he'd 'skin him' if 'he smoked more than a pack' when he's literally confined to bed rest. That's a lot of smokes (I know this is set in the 1960s but a pack a day for a kid who was literally being treated for smoke inhalation earlier in the book is still excessive). However, cigarettes are not the only evidence we have of Ponyboy having the potential for addiction to become a major issue. While it's mentioned he doesn't like alcohol, he does at one point self medicate with asprin, taking far more than the recommended dose-- 5 pills. In the same passage he also offhandedly claims this is something he does frequently, not to help with headaches or anything like that, but to help him fall asleep. Ponyboy is literally self medicating at fourteen with cigarettes and over the counter medication, to treat unrelated ailments-- and is actively hiding this fact from his brothers. It's not touched on far beyond these instances, but its very clear textual evidence of the fact that were Ponyboy to end up getting involved with the wrong crowd or trying the wrong thing, he could very easily destroy his life and any chance of getting out of the east side. In the end, it won't matter if Ponyboy decides to stay gold or not if he gets hooked on the wrong substance. "Oh but lovely, all the greasers are like this"- aside from Two-bit, no one else in the main seven is characterized as having a severe dependence on any sort of substance. Canonically, Soda doesn't drink, we never see Steve, Dally, or Darry inebriated on page, although they all do occasionally drink; and while all of them smoke, Ponyboy is constantly and repeatedly referred to as the 'weed fiend' of his family and to some extent the gang. Ponyboy Curtis and Two-bit Matthews are the two members of the gang with addictive personalities, addiction has the potential to be Ponyboy's undoing and I will die on this hill.

[cowgurrrl]

Strangers

Pairing: Javier Peña x fem!reader (cowgirl!reader???)

Author’s note: goddammit is this gonna be a thing

Summary: Javi struggles to assimilate back into civilian life in Texas until an old friend returns [1.5k]

Warnings: Texas Javi my beloved, language, addictive tendencies, PTSD symptoms, Javi + Steve 4eva, reader has a brother, southernisms, pining, yeah there’s probably gonna be a part two 🙄

Javi really did try his best to leave Colombia and the ghosts that pricked at his memory every time he turned a familiar corner. He wanted to do better. He felt he had to. Too many people died for him to just throw away his chance at life, but the days were long and hot, and he was so fucking tired. The nicotine patches stopped working, and the bottle suddenly wasn't enough to convince himself he was doing what he was sent to do. That he was doing the right thing. That he was a good person. 

He expected the feeling to leave him once he left the imaginary borders of Colombia and returned to the northern valley. He thought working with his dad and getting his feet back under him after years of being pushed and pulled at Reagan's whim would feel better than shaking down teenagers for narco information. Of course, it didn't disappear in the cacti and hazy horizons of Loredo or the arms of his father. It's only been a couple of hours, Peña, he thought. Give it some time. Who knows? Blistering Texas sunsets might be good for burning the blood off his hands. 

Except everybody in his small town knew of his exploits in Latin America. They knew his name was plastered to boxes full of evidence against the cartel and then some. They knew Chucho's boy was some kind of fucked up veteran or hero or whatever they wanted to call him. He avoided going into town more than necessary when he first got home because of how often he got stopped. It didn't matter if he was going to the hardware store, HEB, or the mechanic. Somebody ended up talking to him about Escobar or Cali. He couldn't escape his past even thousands of miles away from it. The only good thing about his newfound fame was the free drinks people pushed his way in the shit hole bar just on the outskirts of town. 

He tells himself to slow down, what with the early mornings and long days he's working, but it'd be a dick move to turn down free drinks, right? Sometimes, Javi loses hours in the bar, betting money on pool, flirting with women passing through town, and telling war stories of the jungle and sicarios and whatever else comes spilling out of his loose lips. He tells himself he's coping the best way he knows how when he comes down for breakfast looking and feeling like shit, his hair practically wet from lingering cigarette smoke, but he knows better. 

His dad deals with Javi's vices the same way they dealt with his mother's death: inefficiently and without making a sound. The most Chucho does is shake his head and sigh when Javi comes stumbling in at some ungodly hour. What more could he do? Javi barely told his dad where he was in the world. How was he supposed to tell him what he'd done? What he saw? What he allowed? No, his dad can never know. It'll kill him. It'll kill Javi to retell. 

Sometimes, Javi will call Steve and ask about Connie and the kids, and they'll act like they're old school buddies and not tethered together through tragedy and white powder. Steve will ask him about his sleep, and Javi will give some bullshit answer which makes Steve laugh. "Yeah, me too," he says one time. "Woke the baby up the other night 'cause I was talkin' again. Don't even know what about. Isn't that fun?" Javi doesn't give much away. He never does, but sometimes, it's just nice to know he's not alone in his struggle to get back to normal. 

Javi is back in town for a full forty days before he finally stumbles across you. At first, he doesn't remember you or your first name. Your last name, however, rattles around his skull until he finally gets the courage to ask if he knows you as he stands in line at the store. "You look familiar." He says, making you laugh. 

"I'd hope so. You were practically livin' in my house in high school." You say, throwing him back to his high school baseball days, spending time either in the field or on the ranch with your older brother. You were a little bit younger than him— the daughter of a weathered cattle rancher— and only caught his attention when you were in the way or being an obnoxious teenager. Man, did you grow up pretty, he thinks. Suddenly, he's hyperaware of his sweaty hair, rumpled shirt, and god-awful farmer's tan. 

"Last I heard, you'd moved out of town," Javi says, crossing his arms over his chest and eyeing you carefully. The freckles dotting your face from all your time in the sun should be considered lethal, especially when you smile. 

"Last I heard, you were engaged." Just as you did then, you don't hold your punches. The jab doesn't hurt, but it does make him laugh, an embarrassed blush crawling up his neck.

"Alright, you got me there," he says. "How's your brother?"

"Good. Married Suzanna a few years ago, and now they've got some babies running around." 

"They live around here?"

"Dallas," you say. "Dillon thinks he's too good for us and decided to be a real estate agent out there instead."

"Sounds riveting," Javi says and you laugh. The line gets shorter and shorter as you talk, but he can't focus on anything but you. "And you? What's a pretty girl like you still doing in this shit hole?" Something behind your eyes flickers at the comment and you take a deep breath, suddenly all too aware of how hot it is today.

"Somebody's gotta get Daddy off the horse every once in a while."

"And what? Your mama can't do that for you?"

"She knows better than to keep tryin'. I'm just as stubborn as he is, so one of us'll win or give up before the other." 

"Well, my money's on you." He says easily. You stare at each other for a little bit longer than necessary before the clerk calls you by name to get your attention. Your items are scanned, bagged, and paid for all in the span of a few seconds. You have no reason to linger in the checkout aisle, but you do, rocking on your boots' heels just a little. 

"Don't be a stranger, Peña." You say, looking him over as if you're seeing him for the first time. 

"I don't think this town's big enough for that." He says, and you chuckle.

"No, I don't think so either," you say. "Tell your dad I said hi." With all your Southern hospitality, you turn and leave. Javi watches you go until the clerk calls his name and breaks him out of it. Well, that and the sound of something crashing to the floor makes him reach for a gun he doesn't carry anymore. His shoulders brace for an explosion, and he can't catch his breath. He stares at the box and the broken jars in it as a pissed-off employee storms off to find a broom. He scoffs. 

Javi has dealt with some of the most dangerous people in the world, and jams are what spike his adrenaline. 

He tries to shrug it off and pay the cashier, but his ears are still ringing, and his heart is still racing when he climbs back into his truck. Fucking jam. He tries to forget about it as he drives home. He wants to forget about it. He wants to think of anything else. 

If that happens to be your smile, the way your laugh fills the air, or the inconspicuous way you looked at him when he complimented you, it's just a coincidence. 

When he gets home, he's craving a drink or a cigarette or something more physical to get his mind off of what happened. His shoulders slump with the weight of memory and Chucho sees. He always sees. He just doesn't know the right way to fix it. 

"Y'know, uh… your friend you used to play baseball with?" He asks, seemingly out of nowhere, as Javi puts away the groceries. He furrows his brows and gives his dad a confused look.

"I had lots of friends I played baseball with."

"He was datin' that girl you went to Homecoming with when you were a freshman?" Of all the things his dad remembers, of course, it's that. Javi resists the urge to roll his eyes and grinds his teeth instead.

"Suzanna?" He asks and Chucho snaps his fingers in a way that tells him that was the right answer. "His name was Dillion. What about him?" 

"Well, his dad heard you're back in town and invited us over for a barbecue," he says nonchalantly and Javi scoffs. "I'm not sure how he didn't know, but you know that old fucker's always out doin' something. Somebody probably told him something or the other. Anyway, you can say no. I told him you were still adjustin'."

"I'll go," Javi agrees too fast. "Might be good to… get outta the house. Wouldn't wanna be a stranger." Chucho is surprised but not displeased with Javi's answer, and they leave it as is. 

It's just reintegrating into civilian life. It's just socializing. It's just a barbecue. It's not an interrogation or a raid. It's coping. 

Apparently, coping could be really fun if he plays his cards right.

TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @anavatazes @shyminnie07 @beezusvreeland @eddiemunsonsbedroom @harriedandharassed @doodlebob-mp3 @ignorethisplz2004 @buckyispunk @d1lf-loverrr @vee-bees-blog @moel-jiller @anoverwhelmingdin @casssiopeia @space-zaddy-din-djarin @rainy-darling @its-me-mila @mnn11ankamaaka

[judasgot-it]

String Me By My Sins, So I Can Be Clean

Scenario: You found out. Yandere!Fyodor x Reader. Part 1 Word count: 1.2 K @ceramic-raven because you encouraged me to write a part 2. I hope you don't mind being tagged <3

Sitting in your small bathroom, you stared at a small patch that stared back at you.

21 mg. Nicotine. A beige-colored patch.

Just a minute ago, it had been adhered to your skin while you were sleeping, as if you had put it on yourself.

You don't smoke. You never smoked.

The only person you knew to smoke was Nikolai or Fukuchi, but you didn't know them to use patches. They only smoked socially, on good days when they could people watch or when Nikolai could show off vape tricks.

Fyodor had never dared to touch a cigarette, always claiming it as a hazard to his health. His lungs were probably as weak as the rest of his constitution, so you believed it.

So why the hell was it on your skin?

You wanted to ask him yourself, but he was sleeping.

Was it a good idea to wake him up?

You looked out into the darkness of your shared bed with Fyodor, looking at his sleeping form. His small frame was curled in a pile of blankets, curled against a feather pillow - like the princess and the pea, as you could see that he never looked truly comfortable.

The patch could be left for the morning.

He was smart. It must have had some sort of reasoning, shouldn't it?

Fyodor always found things out with almost no context needed. He could figure out the reason. You trusted him.

-

You had gone back to the bathroom. The patch was missing.

The trash, for once, taken out. In fact, it seemed the whole apartment had been meticulously cleaned.

You remembered that patch stared at you. The pain of removing it from your skin. How hard you had to pull it from your skin.

So where did it fucking go?

"Hey babe!"

You called for Fyodor, knowing that he was most likely working on the same projects that he always was. Whatever it was, he would be able to answer you, right?

There was no response from him this time though. You called again, but you were left with silence.

Padding towards his 'office space' you found that he had his headphones on. Was he busy today and hadn't bothered to tell you beforehand? Usually, he was rather meticulous about that.

Gently, you poked his shoulder, hoping to get his attention.

Fyodor only grunted, giving a sign of recognition. You tried again, hoping he would respond.

"Are you busy? I wanted to talk to you about something that happened last night."

Fyodor turned only slightly, his eyes still facing his screen - absorbed on whatever 'work' was on his screen. Code that you never bothered to learn to understand, that became a source of frustration as it seemed more important now.

"Yeah, what is it?"

Complete disinterest.

"I found like. A nicotine patch, last night. On me. Fyodor, that's weird, right?"

His eyes finally looked at you, although they were only glancing, at best.

"It is. You don't smoke, do you?"

"What?"

You took a moment to look at him. What the hell was he implying by that? He knew you never did. You always rejected them, since he was so sensitive to smells.

"If you do, you can tell me. I won't judge you."

His voice was soft, unjudgemental at the implication of you even having an addiction. You tried to keep calm through you frustration.

"I don't smoke. You know I don't, asshole! It's really weird that it showed up on my body like that, isn't it?"

You hoped he would help you. But he didn't even seem to care about your predicament so far, instead lazily moving typing commands on his keyboard like a sort of wizard.

"It is weird. If neither of us smoke, then how did it get there, hm? Maybe someone is playing a prank on you. Do you have the patch? We can figure out more about it from there."

He had leaned back, as calm about this conversation as anyone could possibly be. You wanted to kill him.

"It was on the bathroom counter when I took it off last night. I can't find it though!"

You couldn't help raising your voice at the end. For some reason, your frustration was building up so easily it was nearly boiling over.

It wasn't fair to take it out on Fyodor. He gave you a look as well, because well, you knew that you were being emotional about this.

It was just weird. Why was this upsetting you so much? You weren't usually upset so quickly like this.

"Sorry. But I'm being serious Fyo."

Trying your best to calm down, you took a deep inhale. Your lungs filled with air, clearing your head, if only a little.

There was still a frustration coursing through your veins, making you want to pull at Fyodor's hair for being so...well, him. Just being himself, right now.

Is he doing it on fucking purpose? Is he trying to piss you off as much as possible?

He's the smartest man you know, this isn't any real detective work. Fyodor knows why you're feeling the way you are. He can clearly tell that this actually happened - that you aren't fucking crazy.

So why is he acting like you are?

"Of course you are. I believe you, sweetheart. But what's the real problem here?"

His tired eyes slowly blinked at you. There was an emotion lurking in there, but you really didn't know how to describe it.

It was gentle, but not kind.

"Well. It was put on me. That means someone is drugging me. It's violating."

"I can see why you feel that way, yes. But maybe it was just an accident? People on the street these days are rather crazy-looney."

Fyodor had the gall to laugh as he said that, finding humor in his own words as he didn't find your plight worth crying over. There was no fret - being drugged was an everyday occurance.

Tomorrow you could be stabbed with heroin and it would just be an everyday occurrence, right? Worse things could happen to you. Maybe you would accidentally inhale deadly amounts of cocaine since this was just normal.

"Oh I can't believe you."

You left the room. At that moment you just wanted to punch Fyodor.

Did he always look that punchable? With his stupid smirk and pale, dead-looking skin. His eyes seemed so dead, with no read smile attached to them.

It was hard to look at him without feeling enraged.

"And where do you think you're going, sunshine?"

"Anywhere! If I have to see you again, I would probably. Oh!"

You made a noise as you kicked the door, rushing to just get out and get away from the source of your anxiety.

It felt natural, running outside and walking - letting the adrenaline in your body take you as far as it would let you.

Where were you going?

A hand on your arm stopped you. You turned around, the calm face that matched the pale skin - his dead purple eyes were smiling, although it made you stop dead in your tracks.

Where were you going?

You didn't have anything besides Fyodor.

"Please. Just leave me alone."

"You're being irrational, my dear. It's embarrassing."

The hold he had on your arm was tight, some hidden strength he carried that you never knew existed. Pulled did nothing, and there were tears pushing against your face as you felt the feeling again -

Trapped.

"Please. Fucking just. Let me go."

Shaking his head, Fyodor pulled you in - his face rested against your forehead, but the pull his hand had on his scalp was anything but gentle.

He was mad. About what?

Why did it always end up this way?

Honestly this can be stand alone, but YAY i finally finished this !!!! To the people who wanted this, I hope you enjoy this cuz this was kinda lot for me idk why.

[aangelinakii]

I DON'T SMOKE.

— if you need to be mean, be mean to me.

summary : after another inevitable argument, jason picks up the pack of cigarettes he hates to pick up. seems like he's been seeing it more than usual recently.

TRIGGER WARNING BEFORE YOU READ : mention of smoking / possible addiction to nicotine, and a very toxic unhealthy relationship

jason wasn't a smoker before he met you. in fact, he had been quite healthy; always eating well, didn't drink often, exercised an hour every day. but now he always kept a pack of camels in his bag.

they tasted shit, which made it hurt just that much more.

for some reason, you seemed to bring the worst out in him, and he for you. but he couldn't seem to let you go. it was as if you were the nicotine he brought into his lungs; he wanted more, needed more, craved more.

spend too long apart and his body physically missed your presence, as unhealthy as it were.

each time you fought – always about something stupid, something small – he took a puff or two. or until his fingers were blistered and burnt, and there was barely any tobacco left. the correlation became uncanny. you were a cigarette to him; better than any camel he'd had. but you were deteriorating him, bit by bit.

his friends and family had noticed long ago, but any time they tried to talk to him about it, jason was quick to lash out and deny. inside he knew, but outwardly admitting any of the pain you gave him caused his heart to ache.

no matter what you did, he would forgive you, almost straight away. sometimes it was bad and it took him a few days, but he'd always come running back, you knew that. he knew that.

part of him even expected things to get better, after a hug and a kiss. "i'm so sorry for hurting you, my love," you would say every time. "i will do better, i promise."

both of you knew full well not to trust anything that came out of your mouth.

alas, the two of you had broke out into a full-on fight during dinner. neither of you could remember what it was about by now; it was always something dumb, anyway. the walls shook as you wailed, screamed, shouted and cried at one another.

as you ended in tears and a shaking embrace, everything came to a close, but that itch in the back of jason's mind had ticked off. he needed a smoke.

he'd waited until you were asleep. you weren't supposed to know that he smoked, but you did, and he knew that you did; he wasn't good at hiding it, and it was impossible to ignore the stench of smoke on his breath and on his jackets.

in the pale moonlight, jason sat on the edge of your shared bed, knee jiggling anxiously. his eyes flicked towards the nightstand, and he reached out towards it, carefully pulling on the knob so as to not wake you.

there it was: his pack.

he slid open the window, peering behind him to make sure your back was still turned to him, and your frame was still snoring softly. a nicotine stick hung from his lips, and his lighter had been tucked into one of his hands.

with the window open, the gotham fumes began to waft into the room; an average scent of gasoline and tires. down below, cars still roamed the roads, despite the time. but gotham was a city that didn't sleep, and accompanied those who shared the same habit of staying up.

that's why he loved living in gotham. well... define love.

sparks flew as flint hit steel, and the end of his cigarette sizzled as the lighter gave flame.

jason's anxiety finally began to settle as he inhaled through his mouth, clouds forming in his lungs. and he breathed out, the fog he'd taken in releasing into the gotham air.

something shuffled behind him, and the man flinched as a pair of arms wrapped around his waist, his flesh instinctively retracted.

"come back to bed..." your fatigued voice thrummed against his back, muted by the fabric of his shirt.

he lowered his arm out the window, in an attempt to redirect the smoke steaming from the end of his cigarette – but he knew you weren't stupid.

"yeah, just a minute," he grumbled, thumb stroking against your forearm for a moment before softly pushing you away.

as you tumbled back to the sheets behind him, he took one more quick inhale before pressing the ashes of the cigarette against the brick wall outside, and flicking away the remnants of addiction.

[nymph-ette111]

hiiiiiii!! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) could you do a simon cof x sweet, feminine reader headcannons? made my own headcannons to share with you because ily and i love this prompt(⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠)

♡ i imagine reader and simon would go out, hes wearing the same crusty ass grey hoodie while shes dressed up all cute and pretty >.<

♡ he reeks of nicotine while she smells like neapolitan marshmallows<3 hes obsessed with her scent. he literally loves using her bodycare/haircare products over his 3 in 1 men shampoo (if he even showers that is) because he'd smell more like her.

♡ she shares absolutely everything of her purchases. she'd do little mini hauls to Simon, showcasing her new pink ballerina flats, sugarbunnies plushie she had to fight a war for in mercari, too faced chocolate bar palette, cute japanese stationary, and a lot of new clothes. Simon loves it. he loves seeing her happy. (may even buy her things he thinks she would love if he didn't have a smoking addiction<3)

♡ she doesnt only share that though she also loves talking his ears off about anything and everything<3 at first he was annoyed with her constant talking but when he spoke of it, she stopped talking so much and he got guilty and missed her overtalking. he tried to bring her spark back in talking and it worked

♡ shes compassionate and kind, understanding his struggles (but not condoning his actions) and helping him to get better. (he really wants to be saved by her but feels that he just cannot.)

♡ he really doesn't get why she's with him. Hes depressed, miserable, and difficult to be with. His low self esteem sometimes gets the best of him and he starts believing that he's not worthy of her, often leaving her on read, missing her calls, and ignoring her. (im sensing attachment issues) reader clutches w communication though :3

♡ they'd explore abandoned buildings. Simon's there to smoke blunts while readers there to get awesome fit pictures<3 they would go a long way travelling and reader the most practical girl you know has her feet hurt from walking on platforms. they either take lots of breaks or Simon just carries her on his back (unlikely)

♡ talk about taking fit pictures, Simon's technically her photographer. She has a blog where she posts fashion and besides the mirror pics, Simon's always the one taking the pictures. He's quite good at it too.

some of these headcannons probably won't work in his time but who cares(⁠ㆁ⁠ω⁠ㆁ) hope this prompt isnt that hard to write for..(⁠ᗒ⁠ᗩ⁠ᗕ⁠)you can always ignore if you want!! thankkkkkk you x3 xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxxooxoxoxox

WARNINGS; MENTIONS OF SMOKING, MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION

AUTHOR'S NOTE; WHOEVER REQUESTED THIS JUST KNOW I LOVE YOU!!! probably inaccurate for both the character and the timeline... listen, I don't know what swedish people were up to in 2012 leave me alone. also not very happy with this, still trying to figure out how to write Simon :3

-he looks comically out of place in your room. just imagine a pastel pink room filled to the brim with cute plushies, shelves full of little trinkets and books, floral bedding and lace curtains. a wall full of movie posters, magazine pages, and little polaroids of your most treasured moments, and then there's a depressed smoke addict.

-you know those videos where it's a boyfriend sleeping in their girlfriend's girly room with a bunch of plushies on top of him? yeah, basically same situation.

-his sleep schedule is fucked up. either he pulls an all nighter or is passed out till 3 pm. when it's one of those times where Simon feels tired, you just let him sleep in your bed whilst you do whatever.

-it's also a great opportunity to gather the perfect pictures for black mailing.

-he just looks so stupid in your room I love him.

-doesn't care about your plushies but will learn to treat them nicely after you yelled at him for 15 minutes straight about how it's unacceptable to throw rilakkuma off the bed just so he could sit down.

-punches the plush when you aren't looking.

-he definitely gives you that pink hello kitty hoodie to wear. or he wears it instead so you two could match. that's probably your idea and he obliges because it's something you love and enjoy.

-really like the idea of him being your personal photographer. he's always the first to leave a like on whatever you post, especially if it's he who took the picture.

-doesn't know anyone besides you. his followings on social media just contain a bunch of his favorite bands and your account.

-a bit sad but I can see him borrowing your money (with permission) to buy cigarettes if his mother refuses to give him any. he wants to buy you stuff you might like but he's too busy spending it on his addiction :(

-he instead draws you your favorite characters so you can put it on the wall alongside your other pictures.

-has never been in the vicinity of a woman without being an awkward shit. moral of the story he doesn't know anything about girls. his knowledge of things is pretty vague, so please don't be surprised if you see him just poking around your vanity and asking a million different questions on what certain products do and why.

-his mother is very happy her son finally found a girlfriend. she approves of you and thinks you're an absolute sweetheart. always asks Simon when you will visit them again.

-you two definitely earn a few stares in public because how did such a sweet and pretty girl end up with a guy like Simon.

-it pisses him off endlessly but can't help his thoughts and feelings. thinks he doesn't deserve you or any of the kind shit you do for him.

-like nonnie said, he probably isn't the greatest boyfriend... there are times where he cancels your hang-outs without further explanation or simply doesn't acknowledge any of your calls and messages. he feels pretty shitty after it and apologizes for his behavior. you forgive him even though you both know he'll do it again.

-he is low-key obsessed with your smell, he smothers anything you have in the shower all over his body without caring what it's for, just simply reads the labels and puts it on... with big amounts. this man is making you go bankrupt. you could literally see the outline of his fingers left in the product..

-his camera is full of pictures of you, he likes looking at them when he feels down. which is pretty often.

-shows you all of his favorite places in Stockholm or even Kirkvile (where does this man live I don't get it) ones that aren't usually full of people, just overly adventurous teenagers from time to time. something tells you that you two have trespassed into private property multiple times but Simon doesn't want to answer that question clearly.

-ugh imagine clipping cute little hair clips into Simon's hair and he just lets you do whatever you want because if you're happy then he is happy and he wants to see you smile :(

-in exchange, you let him do corpse paint on your face.