#i don't actually think running doom is boring but i couldn't

[dubioushonour]

"Can it run DOOM?" - boring, of course it can run DOOM, I've seen everything run DOOM from a knitted blanket to a pregnancy test to DNA

"Can it be used to recreate Bad Apple?" - exciting, imaginative, ALWAYS blows me away with the execution, an eternal banger, I am never expecting it and I am always pleasantly surprised to see Bad Apple in a new medium

[neoarchipelago]

Soul link Part 5

A/N: I'M IN LOVE WITH CAT!GHOST.

Warnings: none.

New year rolled in with its load of anxiety. You had been spending all of your time working with the lieutenant. You found yourself enjoying his presence and looking forward to seeing him, his usual mean demeanor crackling as time passed. He seemed more comfortable about his cat features letting them free every time you were nearby. You had worn your little bell for the whole vacation, combining it with as many outfits as possible. He seemed to enjoy it, hiding his purring but his eyes glancing and his ears twitching.

The closer the new year arrived though, the more you tried to avoid him. It wasn't his fault no. You found that spending time with him actually helped with the anxiety. But you didn't want him to see you like this. In the wreck you were eventually doomed to become. So on new year, you walked around, fidgeting with your fingers and the bow around your neck, the bell constantly ringing, leaving a melodic path that attracted many soul linked's gazes. You dreaded the moment where everyone would be out, running, jumping and screaming. Although it wasn't scary, you knew it.

You crossed paths with him in the hallways, pumping into him as your mind wandered to potential hiding spots for the night. You locked eyes as you greeted him formally with a little smile before turning around and trying to run for it. His large hand wrapped around your wrist, pulling you back stumbling.

"Sergeant. Is there a problem?" He asked, eyes boring into your very soul. You tried to look away, look at anything but him. His hand to your chin however brought you back to him.

"Answer me." He ordered.

You bit your lip, your heartbeat quickening. No. You couldn't. You'd be too embarrassed. He'll think you're pathetic, a joke of a soldier. A good for nothing. You shook your head trying to hide silly tears.

"Sergeant." He warned, his tone tainted with… worry? "Did.. I-"

"No!" You cut him off.

You kept your eyes down, your wrist still in his hand. You wanted to run, to slip away. You shut your eyes. And then the low rumble started again. His soft vibrating chest..low purring. You opened your eyes, feeling it through his hand, the sound itself, soothing.

"Don't make me pull rank on you…" he said, his tone marked by sincere guilt.

You were going to. You opened your mouth to tell him, to speak and spill the truth. However the sound of footsteps in the hall made him let go of your wrist as he turned to the newcomer. You ran. A cowardly move but you did. You ran until he wasn't out of reach and you were out of sight.

Hours ticked as you sat on the ground. The dreaded ringing hour that would announce the new year was far too close. You didn't know why you ended up in the small storage room, where they kept the archives. Where the small window barely lit the room. You were lying to yourself that it wasn't because you had spent so much time with him in here, that it still smelled like him and that the little strand of fur you could see on the ground did somehow comfort you.

The counting outside made your eyes widen, your skin crawling at the simple memory of what was about to come. Being a military IT had always shielded you from these. But the new year was inevitable.

3!

You closed your eyes, closing in, bringing your knees to your chest.

2!

Your body tensed, muscle freezing in anticipation.

1!

Your ears and your tail popped out, you immediately grabbed your ears, trying to keep them as closed as possible.

The loud explosions, the flashes of light, a show of pure happiness and entertainment and yet here you were, rolled up in a ball trying to shield yourself from the excruciating noise that drilled a hole through your skull. The long fluffy ears were cute, yes. But the acute hearing, that… was sometimes a curse. Especially in moments like these.

You recoiled further as the fireworks exploded louder and now with a lot more speed. Tears rolled down your cheeks. You didn't hear him. You didn't hear the door burst open. The light of the hallway was what attracted your attention. His slighted pupils looked at you, wide eyed and full of worry.

"L..loud… it's… t-too loud…" you whined, looking up at him with tears flowing.

He rushed down to his knees, bringing you to his chest holding your head flush against it as he helped you shield your ears from the noise. He wrapped his body around you, shielding you from the world. He purred as loud as he could. Trying to make you focus on it.

It lasted a few long minutes. You cried in his arms, hands grabbing at his shirt. As the sound of the fireworks faded, you focused on the soft purr, the vibration from his chest. He didn't step back. He didn't let go. You were the one to straighten yourself in his arms to look up at him. Your blurry vision, rosy cheeks and nose made his heart melt. Was it because of your crying or perhaps a feature of your bunny form? God did you look adorable.

Your hands still gripped his shirt tightly. The comfort of his arms was far too great to let go. You sniffled, his ears twitching.

It was hard to fully understand what came over you. If it was the position you were in or simply that he ran, and found you. Probably hearing you cry even through the loud noises outside. Your hands met the side of his face as you raised yourself just enough to plant a soft kiss to the mask, right on his lips. It didn't last more than two seconds. Your ears plastered back, your tail wiggling.

He didn't pull back. But he didn't kiss back either. He remained still before simply staring at you. You felt embarrassment course through you as you looked away.

"I'm-"

"Come on. I'm taking you to your dorm."

You felt your heart shatter on the spot. Unfortunately nothing came out of your mouth but a pathetic 'yes sir'.

As you walked to your room, next to him, many recruits sent glances towards you. He had retracted his cat-like features, but you were still an emotional wreck and couldn't contain yours.

Much to your dismay. The word had spread by morning, that the little IT sergeant was a bunny soul link.

[onebillionghosts]

@originalcharactersexyman

okay so adonis propaganda time. here's some more info on him

-he's an extremely powerful, human-eating, wyrm-like being doomed to one day cause the apocalypse, he rules his own underground city as the self-proclaimed "god" of wraiths (that is, ghostly undead creatures).

-although he was once a friendly, playful, and even kind person (though he always struggled with a quick temper, impulsitivity, and a tendency to run his mouth). however, the abuse he suffered growing up as a human (if he ever truly *was* one), the death of the only person who ever cared for him, centuries of isolation, and his own existence as a being called a "dire" corrupted him into a terrible, resentful, and sadistic person.

-despite his tendency to kill, eat, and torture humans, he still holds a playful, curious, easily excitable, flirty, and romantic streak (especially in his affection towards his late friend and lover, nacio). he is very eccentric, chaotic, expressive, dramatic, overdramatic, and easily angered. due to his own hidden insecurities and trauma, he hates feeling powerless or worthless or inferior to others, and will go out of his way to one-up or subjugate others.

-despite trying to put on the air of a seductive, cool all-powerful overlord, he's really at heart just an eccentric and emotional romantic who's a little too into violence and biting things. 

fun facts:

-he was born in the late 15th century. he's mixed irish and norwegian, and was born in ireland, but spent most of his childhood in south england. as a result, he has a strong accent that's a bizarre mix between west country, limerick, and medieval english. that and the fact that he's a rambling chatterbox with no inside voice means that he's nigh-incomprehensible when he talks, unless you know him well

-he was 19 when he became a fully-fledged dire, and he's stopped ageing since then… and he definitely acts that age lmao. that being said, he can shapeshift his body if he wants to

-his human form has wavy titian/copper hair (he's constantly changing up his hairstyle), droopy/downturned amber-brown eyes with golden sclera/pupils and long eyelashes, light warm-toned skin, a roman/aquiline nose, a beauty mark next to his mouth, and a very lanky body type. he also has a pretty high (almost kind of cute) voice, which is a strange contrast with his intimidating demeanor. don't make fun of it, he'll get mad

-he's an ExFP and 4w3/8w7

-his true form has snake, hookworm, and centipede traits. it can range anywhere from the size of a small garden snake to the size of mountains; whichever one he feels like at the moment. this is his actual real form; his human form is actually just a fleshy "shell" of sorts that contains his true form inside. 

-he has autism, adhd, bipolar-I, and pica. he will infodump to you for hours about flowers and snakes and nacio if you let him… and also whatever random things he's thinking about at the moment

-he has an older sibling named achlys, but that's a whole other can of worms. they completely despise each other, for complicated reasons

-he's a weird little freak <3 okay, well, not little, because he's actually 6'7 in his humanoid form… but you get the idea

-doesn't really give a shit about labels, but he's probably somewhere along the lines of homoflexible, and some kind of genderqueer that's vaguely along the lines of "fem-presenting dude". what gender is he exactly? fuck if i know. fuck if he knows either. he's his own thing. ultimate schrodinger's gender type character. he just defaults to male pronouns because that's what he's used to, but honestly he couldn't care less what you call him. (he *does* like it when people call him pretty though :] )

-he likes flowers, snakes, nacio, chewing/eating/licking random things, pretty things (like makeup/dresses/shiny stuff), warmth (he's cold-blooded), violence, blood, food (especially humans), cuddles, attention, talking, and being in charge.

-he dislikes boring things, the cold, being insulted, feeling bad about himself, feeling powerless, people who are better at something then him, people who get more attention or praise then him.

why you should vote him:

-to feed his ego

-he may try to eat the competition otherwise

-he will throw a tantrum if he loses and go melodramatically pout somewhere because he's a sore loser... though he is also a sore winner. 

-too many stereotypical "soft and sweet" autistic/adhd characters in the world, and not enough evil sexy bastardous ones that get bitches. i want to see more auDHD characters violently murder ableists. god bless

-because i love/hate him

-just look at him. weird evil sexy snake-worm-tipede twink. my beloved/beloathed unredeemable bastard freak who causes problems <3 there is something very wrong with him

-shitty one-minute doodle of him eating a flower. because i wanted to draw something new for this, but im too lazy so this is the best ive got:

[just-some-guy-joust]

man idk I think u just want ur fave to move on :/ pitting hatchling against two separate ppl isn’t very fair. they deserved the win my dude. if theyre gonna sweep let em sweep

lmao something something “look what the lobocorp girlies have to do to mimic even a fraction of hatchling’s power” or whatever

ig hatchling is just so doomed by the narrative they had to get double teamed so they could lose. double doomed by the narrative eh

Okay so I wasn't going to answer this at first but just. Real quick. Have you ever run a tournament? Not sarcastic, genuine question, have you? Because these things are a LOT of work. Like, I was SHOCKED at how much goes into these

So of COURSE I'm going to be biased! It's my tournament! If I'm not biased, if I have no one I'm rooting for, then it becomes boring and I won't want to work on it anymore. So for me, yeah, I do want Lyf to win actually. What's the point of a poll if the runner isn't so invested in the topic that they have their own personal favorites? Idk it would just seem really tedious to me to set up brackets full of people I don't give a shit about, but that's just my perspective

I am not denying that Hatchling is completely doomed though! I genuinely thought they could pull through, and I think the only reason they didn't is because it seemed like the poll only hit the Outer Wilds community two days before it ended. Which, still, coming back from a 70/30 split to then be that close to making it 50/50 is incredible, props to the Outer Wilds fans!

As far as I can tell, Carmen and Lyf both come from very small communities. This is the first time in the entire tournament that the small guys actually had a shot, and I am sorry that the Hatchling couldn't pull through. In all honesty, even after they teamed up, I thought Lyf and Carmen were dead. I did NOT think they would survive even together. So this was more a pleasant surprise for me, and not really anything planned.

Feel free to make your own tournament though! I'd love to vote for the Hatchling!

[cyrsed]

half-baked thoughts about what i'd wanna see in a ds2 remake, putting under a cut so nobody has to read a text wall they don't wanna lol :)

i was thinking about what they could do with ellie to make her a lil more interesting in a ds2 remake…. i don't dislike anything about her in ds2 except maybe the outfit not being all that protective, altho To Be Fair isaac is the only character (besides valor dudes and random security npcs, but i'm talking about like, mercer, kendra, stross, etc.) we see on screen wearing a full protective suit in ds1 or ds2 that i can think of (not counting ds2 dlc), so it's not like it's any more unrealistic than mercer or nicole or kyne running around the ship in their puffy pajamas.

but she's not that deep of a character either, and i'd love to see more of the like, mystery in ds1 pulled into ds2 a little more maybe, and i think just having more interesting characters/character relationships would help more than anything else bc that's where ds2 doesn't really do much for me even tho i like the characters lol :B

but like, i feel like the best possible solution is just to integrate the nicole stuff in with the rest of the game/characters, bc it's boring that stross and ellie never see isaac see nicole, and he never tells them about it either. it seems weird that the only person to mention nicole is the doctor at the beginning (but it would complicate things significantly to do it so i do get why they didn't).

if ellie knows isaac is seeing marker!nicole then marker!nicole could also have some kinda response to ellie/stross/whoever else, and you could just get any actual reactions from ellie to any of what is actually happening with isaac ahglksjdf like she could find out about nicole but not know that nicole is related to the ishimura until after they find it, and instead of just being like 'you ok? you sound nervous' 'yeah it kinda sucked last time' when he's going in, there could be like a 'oh yea this is also where my gf died :((' jflsdjf a la isaac oversharing to cross about how he met nicole. like i want to see any characters reacting to what the other characters are experiencing with more than annoyance/alarm

if they wanted to,,, they could subvert that plot point where isaac is like 'i couldn't save nicole but i can save ellie to make up for it' (which i personally find unsatisfying as any kinda resolution. lisa did it better!) by having ellie figure out that he might be planning to do that before he does it bc she she knows about nicole now and could have a little more understanding of like, who isaac actually is? bc it doesn't really feel like any of the main 3 chars get to know each other much during the story and i wanna see like, isaac and stross's relationship explored more? like how well do they know each other? does stross know about nicole? maybe He says something to ellie about her instead of isaac sharing it at first? maybe isaac could actually act like he cares about helping stross bc if he can help stross then mayyybe he's not doomed either?

idk how you'd get her away from the marker tho for the end but maybe she could get like, detained by tiedmann's dudes and taken on a shuttle that then gets [attacked by an infector? pilot loses control? idk] and she gets control of it to go back for isaac?

mostly i just want the relationships to get expanded more... let stross do more than just talk about symbols and crawling around in machines and let isaac stop being so cranky so him and isaac can get to know each other plsssss. oh and i want that bit where you go through ellie's work and hear the audio logs of her/her coworkers to be played up more maybe? or something? bc both of them are revisiting something traumatic that happened to them but idk maybe it's just me but i never found that bit to be super memorable...

oh and the marker should definitely affect ellie more and if she knew what was going on with isaac that would make it way easier to explain what's going on. or maybe if she's starting to get affected by it, he could explain his marker brain problems.

like thematically it's cute, the sprawl is a big, unfinished circle. like it's under construction, and idk maybe i'm wrong but i imagine that eventually it could circle all the way around, ellie goes in a circle back to where she was working when the outbreak started, isaac goes in a circle back through the ishimura, stross is in his cycle of grief/denial, but the character relationships are pretty weak imo and i wish they weren't cause they have the potential to be interesting!

anyway i love ds2 lol this is making me wanna start a new playthrough. i was also thinking of trying to put together a little list of abandoned plot/lore threads in the game just to see

[roobylavender]

Your post earlier made me think about how Bruce is really dedicated to learning and acquiring knowledge and how over the course of his life he has acquired a wide array of skills across multiple fields and it just really makes we want to see a version of Bruce who loses his wealth somehow and has to do a normal job in any field because I honestly think it'd pull him out of the doom and gloom mentality and make him genuinely happy. I'm not that far into my Batman reading but I really think it would be an interesting move to make Bruce a normal dude given all the discourse around billionaire superheroes right now and it's probably the best thing for his mental health/general issues to actually be around people.

I also would like to see how it would affect his relationships with his family, friends and allies because he would be out in a position to genuinely experience their reality. Also would love to see him get a job utilising one of his obscure skills that he genuinely likes. How do you think an arc of Bruce having to live like a normal person would go? I love your comic book insights and would love to hear your take

To clarify the previous ask I know he loses his money in current canon but he still seems to be a billionaire? I think? I don't know I cannot get through most modern comics. Anyways good luck with law school and I hope you have a nice day! 🌻🌻🌻

i'm not reading the current dc or batman run and haven't been for the past few years so i am as clueless as to that situation as you are! (and thank you for the well wishes hehe i am sat in criminal law right now utterly bored out of my mind)

i couldn't agree more though! a slight tangent to this idea but one criticism of the dark knight rises that i have noticed bleeds over into opinions of bruce's future in the comics is this idea that he can only ever be batman and if he does not intend to die as batman then the writer behind that decision has failed to understand his character. it's one i'm very confused by and heavily disagree with. before bruce is batman he's bruce. batman exists bc of bruce. it took at least a decade before the specific idea of batman was even implanted into bruce's head if we're going by classic takes on the batman origin story. he had interests before that! he had a life! we are able to see on several occasions that he still wants to have a life even though it grows increasingly difficult to do so while he takes responsibility for being the city's savior. which is what i think makes the concluding thesis of the dark knight rises (for all of its well-criticized flaws) so, so good bc it allows bruce to acknowledge that he doesn't have to carry the world on his shoulders alone, and that acknowledgment isn't reproachful in and of itself, esp where he has people to carry on the cause

i've talked here before about critics' attention to the nihilism of the nolan movies and their focus on the batman as a singular, crucial savior without whom the city falls to pieces, and i totally agree that criticism of building vigilantism on nihilism's foundations is viable. but i also think it's a criticism conveniently made for that movie bc the scope of bruce's immediate posse is incredibly limited. at most he is only ever closely accompanied by two people in any given movie so it's easier to be skeptical of the idea that gotham is presented to only ever need one savior bc there aren't many others to choose from. i do think the dark knight gets close at challenging that notion with the boats set-up towards the end but nolan fails to really see it through when he carries it forward via john blake, who is not only one person, but also a cop. there's a great idea there in bruce indirectly inspiring someone else to do good and act of his own volition but whether its impact is completely effective is debatable and i think most people would agree using the actual robin would have been a far better alternative. the novelty of batman comics in comparison to the nolan trilogy is that superheroes are everywhere. people who do good are everywhere. we are all heroes inherently if we so choose to be. bruce has an entire support system he can trust to carry forward the same faith and duty that he has been for years if he happens to lose it all or need a break or whatever

and i know you're only specifically talking about him losing his wealth so my sincere apologies for going off on such a wild tangent lol! but i do imagine the loss of wealth or even voluntary removal from it would be attached to a departure from batman as well, whether temporary or permanent. i think there's an interesting thread to follow there with how bruce's wealth not only isolates him from certain realities but also enables his dedication to being batman bc he simply always has material and resources at his disposal by way of that wealth (he kind of has to bc otherwise he's more exposedly human). what does he do when he doesn't have immediate access to those things? how does his awareness of ordinary people's circumstances increase and how does that in turn influence the way he chooses to live going forward? it's a really great way to connect him more deeply to people like selina and leslie whose entire survival is premised on their brutal understanding of normalcy and its tension with survival in a place that is anything but normal. bruce has a good head on his shoulders and an even more sympathetic heart but i want to see him really come face to face with the things that only ever exist in his periphery bc his attachment to resources always demands that he fights the foes to match those resources. get him involved with the community on the ground and lead his inclination towards good will to its natural conclusion of people interaction. bc bruce loves people! he craves companionship. if he could spend the rest of his life working with people and for people i think he would. so on the note of what i think he would do i genuinely feel like bruce would love anything to do with community service. involvement in things like student mentorship programs are great bc they're a huge well of creativity for teachers trying to inspire kids to be passionate about their interests and skills. and bruce definitely has the experience from how he trains his robins (esp how he used to in the olden days when it was all chummy gymnastics and boxing friendlies!)

[northwest-cryptid]

I think being born when I was sort of made me immune to the "oh god it's HOMESTUCK" vibe.

Like I get it, the fandom is a whole mess, the comic is long running and has had huge cultural impact on the internet and thus the world at large for my generation and the following generation given our connection with the internet.

I won't deny that I "get it" when people make HS out to be some big thing, to say "there will never be another web comic like Homestuck" isn't a false statement at all, as even long after it's ending the remnants of it continue to crop up in things like Undertale allowing it a natural passage into modern relevance. I mean it sounds absurd to say that the fucking Pope has heard a song that originates from Homestuck yet that's the world we're living in.

However at the end of the day Homestuck has always just been "a web comic" to me. I've picked it up before, read a few arcs into it and got bored; put it down and watched plot summaries. I've listened to the OST (yea it has one of those which sounds weird but, yea it's pretty good.) I've heard all the memes. I can identify the big ones, Dave Strider, Vriska, ... That weird frog thing at the very end that like makes a universe or is a universe or something?

But I have never really "got" two big things. One of those being the hype around it in the sense of like "oh no it's HOMESTUCK! Oh god oh no oh fuck we are all doomed, the unspeakable evil is upon us!" And trust me this is after I accidentally introduced a friend of mine to a couple of people in troll cosplay because I was like "you could use some friends, oh hey there's some goths you like goths let's go say hi!" My one attempt at helping a friend make some friends resulted in said cosplayers being like "hey man you want some hard drugs?" Which kind of snowballed. SO LIKE YEA I understand why people might find the loud majority of the fandom to be a bit odd, but couldn't you say that about literally any fandom? I'm being real here, I've been a part of a ton of fandoms and by and large the loud majority are typically cringe and annoying to even the people who DO like the thing.

The second thing I never got was the hype for the actual web comic. Every time I try to read it I get bored. I understand the concept, I understand the general plot, I don't even think the concept is bad or anything. But ironically my reason for reading it is to better understand the world building and the characters and the plot and when it tries to explain those things I sit there like "when do we get to [big pop culture thing] I was warned about the [big pop culture thing]." Which may just be my ADHD acting up but I never found the narrative or characters or anything about it to necessarily be super gripping to me.

Whenever I say I'm considering trying to read it again I typically get one of those two kinds of hype from people in response. People who think it's the bane of existence and I should "remain pure and innocent" as if I didn't grow up during the PEAK of its popularity and don't already know about it, the things that inspired it, and literally lived through going to conventions with HS meetups. Or I get people who are so excited that I'm finally going to bear witness to the holy experience that is HS, and then they get super let down when I get bored because I'm like "this dudes stuck in his home, is that it? Is that why it's called that?"

Maybe I'm weird or boring or whatever, like maybe it's all one big joke and I'm just not playing along because I don't get it and I'm being super lame like that time I went around on April fool's spoiling all the pranks because I thought it was stupid to randomly pretend to have an asthma attack since someone could actually have an asthma attack and the teachers wouldn't know because some asshole who doesn't even have asthma thought that was a good prank, which it wasn't but like I didn't need to be a narc about it I was just a dumb kid. So I guess that's sorta how I feel now towards HS, like it's a joke made by my generation for my generation and somehow I don't "get it" and more often than not, that lack of knowledge has lead to me being confused by HS jokes that never made it into the pop culture.

Like yea I've osmosis'd a lot of it, I know about shit like "I warned you about the stairs bro" and such, but the second someone mentions a character by name who isn't either Dave, Vriska, or I think there's some dude named Karkat? Like I'm totally in the dark.

I assure you if you think the jokes and humor of homestuck is so bad it will do irreversible damage to my psyche you gotta understand that the internet was just sorta, like that? Back when I was growing up and the result is that if there was any damage to be done it's already done.

I don't know man maybe I'm just not one of the "cool kids" of my generation or something.

[randomclam24]

Getting kind of bored of a lot of things. The shills aren't hard to see through - in fact it takes a minute of thinking about it to find a contradiction in motives. I don't know why they want to push certain things. It's very annoying, and yet the majority of people still contribute to these conversations online.

I finally continued my run of Hell on Earth Starter Pack and just deleted the saves which were still early on for Doom II - so we're going to do this run instead. This is being run with Death Wish spawning being the default now, on Painkiller difficulty. I haven't beaten Doom episode four on this mode, but that came out after Doom II.

Update Given the oversaturation of boring shills, the whole Internet by the sheer overshadowed speed of the stupidity going around at any given moment in time seems like the movement of tectonic plates

I want a place to post things that not everyone will see or something

One thing I know that I can just tell anyone is that if anyone wants to further the use of the word "mid" - there's one instance I know of that that applies to for sure, and that is Sonic the Hedgehog 4, which doesn't even have the original Genesis physics remotely intact. The fact of it being "mid" is on account of the fact that the very team that conceived of such a thing couldn't even get their motivations straight, so ultimately there just ends up being a gross amalgamation of mixed - what do you even call them?

If something has a determined direction - even in the case of Sonic '06, I can see the fact of that - there isn't a place to call it "mid", because even in the case of something being fundamentally flawed, that still is applicable to its *execution*, not to its origins themselves, as in the case of Sonic 4, where nothing great was *ever* going to come from that.

I don't buy either of those games by the way.

Update This world, with its expectations, is at foundation an antipathy to a world, supported only in that it continues society's previous values on the *surface* "I know, I'm just not going to [respect you] is all...*laughing noises*"

Update High-tier freemasonry - every time you appeal to logic on any level, you're appealing to a God that failed hundred of years ago - sorry ******fam******

Update Listening to get caught up to Common Filth a bit more, we have the trope that people thought blacks and gays were the same thing - equity, guys! I'd logically agree in any situation, modifying the slogan a bit, we're all one species, the human species

Hell

Update Race relations - to have race relations without - what exactly do you call it? Equity, Tikkun Olam,

9/15 Okay, so I've eaten good this morning. If my feelings that everything is pointless were in any way caused by hunger, that should do it.

I just feel like whatever I would choose to do, it would be more like coasting than actually actively doing anything anymore.

Update About now, I'm feeling like the dog that someone once said could just go run off wherever it wants because he doesn't really care if it comes back at all or not or if it dies. I don't see any reason to think any more of human life than that, because it's so pointless. I'll keep fending for myself when it comes to these crunch scenarios which seem so prevalent that life itself seems like a showcase for these damned things and nothing else, given how much of a barren wasteland the sheer expanse time is compared to how often they crop up just like it's nothing. But aside from them - granted that there can be any moment where I truly get to relax for an extended period of time, not cut short - it's hard to even get back to what I was thinking, but - I was thinking life itself is fundamentally meaningless, not worth the time of day. I can't say anything *bad* about these people, so there's no free will left of my own self in this world. There's no other opportunity because the risk of being fired would be too astronomically high at every given moment. Just think about the little guy for a second. It's not worth it, dumbass, dipshit. Implying you would actually think - hence, dumbass, dipshit. Dumbass, dipshit. Don't know what else to call you. You're a - midwit. Oh right, we already called you that.

The modern employers are brutes!

I keep wrestling with the reality against my natural thoughts. Look, at the scale we're at, when it comes to conspiracy theories as a proposition, it really is true the fact that I have to redact any attempt at self-expression as it relates to other people really has preceded any event of being shown conspiracy theories at all in my life. I just don't like human beings. I can't consider myself one, technically, because my natural thoughts just keep drifting off the deep end of what everybody else cuts short on instinct. So - human instincts aren't *mine*

I already posted what I'd be watching for a while somewhere else. I can't even muster the focus necessary to watch anything right now. I just feel like going to sleep.

Update I felt like just wandering around wherever for a while in hopes of getting a palate cleanser, and so I took a relatively long walk. Now that I've rested a minute but am still too tired to go do it again, that's the exact same sentiment I have now. Let's go eat food (and possibly get drunk later)

I feel like contributing nothing to evil old mankind today. It feels like a good day for that.

Update Up until the moment there was the major lapse in judgment on the part of whoever in the upper ranks in New Mexico with the self-declared-emergency gun laws, the entire zeitgeist that the right wing won't do anything was quickly realized to be projection. Now, with that established, and with all of this crap done, I don't feel like there's really anything left to be anxious about, not on my part. Now all that's left is - well, a complete lack of anything.

It's like if you were all to die trying, that wouldn't affect me so much because it was due to factors that are now entirely out of my control. But really, I don't relate to any of these groups.

Update In any case, if I'm not focused on making any personal breakthrough and just intend to truly live aimlessly, I have an obligation to hang myself for reasons that are beyond my concern.

Update There's no reason for doubt: if Silent Hill 2 didn't represent a finalization of consensus against the kinds of people the government wants to target, being such a strong psychological game, in 2023, they wouldn't make it.

So inasmuch as I said the deal's over, with people finding out that it's projection when shills keep parroting the, "you won't do shit", in reality it's only the people doing the effective bidding of the mainstream against its dissenters that have any organic motive for action. Just because they don't want to carry this out on the forefront with violence means they're *smart.* You won't do shit.

Going back to continue Silent Hill 3 might be in order, but at the time being, I really just don't care. I feel like laying in the dust to die.

9/16 I've *already* admitted conspiracy theories are a sham, start to finish.

I honestly still - well now more than ever - don't see why murder would be considered so heinous and in religion be the foremost sin when human lives are so altogether wasted in their very conception. I have it from experience that my own human life is not *worth* much. Otherwise, you could do something with it *It's like I'm living in an alternate reality. No one else considers their life cut off from everyone else like me.* (So, what - that itself is in an alternate reality)

The "merit" of human life is a *sham*, and everyone should see through it - it's not hard.

Update I had a run going of Silent Hill 2 where once at the prison, I basically stopped picking up any items, but at first I was still killing the enemies. This time I started up a while earlier than that but also stopped killing the enemies once there too. Now for some reason I had a ridiculous migraine, and now I can't stop having a recurrence of this headache. I can't do anything anymore.

Update Okay, finally. I usually forget what I'm even doing when login requirements get to this extreme point. So the last time I tried to take pills for a severe headache, my bitch *mom* espouses her usual typical spiel that I'm (I don't care) - this time I'm in so much pain, I've already cycled through considering hanging myself to stop the pain. I took the pills - since they had already left.

Update I finally heard enough talk about Ukraine for it to jog in my conscious awareness - all these people saying they support Ukraine, the money being channeled there which is against our will in the first place even *without* said consent is for a fiasco that didn't need to happen, if anyone ever really wants to pay attention, or at least to the extent it's been taken to at this point, where so many people out of the population are being used of out of Ukraine that they're allegedly having to kidnap old people out of wheelchairs now just to keep the forefronts fed. Is it the Ukranian people you support? If only it could have been America instead of a people that have nothing to do with the modern world's sins.

Update Existence sucks. Pull all funds It's too bad we're not any of us major financial donors, so that doesn't make any difference?

Update I don't know why. I'm making slow progress through Hell on Earth Starter Pack (with the mods, including my modification of a music mod) - but even then, a lot of the time I stop, it's just because I feel like I can't be bothered. I feel like sleeping more often now. I never actually get to doing that.

9/19 Honestly, if there's wisdom to be passed down from generations by the *modern* era, it's only that everything that gets passed out as reasons, from people living at the ground level all the way up to modern sciences, is post-hoc in nature.

From that, you should already be a recluse. I'm not saying you have to right away.

Well, I looked up the actual definition of "post hoc", and for people looking for the definition with my meaning removed for reasons that are post hoc in nature, the official definition isn't very serviceable for me, trying to convince them back - not at all. It never works.

What I'm trying to say is that these things passed out in the modern day as reasons are in fact more accurately known as rationalizations after the fact that a decision is already made in the subconscious. Science, in paid-off disingenuity, is just the same in this respect as the people influenced to then say "it's okay" and try it themselves at the ground level with their *own* dismissive bullshit. There isn't any value in listening to other people, even in recorded content with a deliberate purpose in mind (although when most people speak, there's a purpose they have in mind in the conversation also, but that just kind of proves the fact that that in itself doesn't *mean* very much), that is more than cursory in nature. If you're thinking with pangs going on over it, oh, those exceptions that I saw that had me so hooked prove what you're saying is a ton of bullshit, you're thinking too hard. Good things are the exception to the rule, and the exception proves the rule.

So what do you do? You become a recluse.

Really, you can listen to other people saying things of a deeper nature in *their* concerns, and in that instance maybe you'll scrape a few bits of meaning off of what is to them merely the surface of their real underlying point, since some things are more widely applicable regardless of the context - beyond that, all interest is lost. I don't relate to other people hanging on listening. Doesn't make sense.

I don't exactly *know* - at this point, it doesn't really matter if 2030 agendas actually play out, because there is the truth underlying agendas such as simply taking farms off the people's hands: people making their own individualistic attempts at higher reasoning doesn't pan out anything in the modern day, where people are already lesser than they were before the modern existence. By this point, by the fact that it's proven to be most effective just to listen to and believe the shills when they're talking like evil henchmen on the internet to understand the higher nature of the world around us, we know that higher knowledge lies - soundly - in the hands of the few

Honestly, though, it's not just ritualistic - people aren't worth their salt

If it was only 4chan - people there are actually actively trying - there it sounds like a fixed response to say "we'll just take this off your hands" for your better good - although it's *true* - listening to and believing the shills is the only way to know *concisely.* I was going to say, look - those aren't the scope of mankind, and with the same words turned around, mankind is a separate entity from the exception to the rule.

So, basically, it comes down to: if you're looking for answers in life as to its meaning, entities like the WEF and Blackrock already have the answer, and the shills of such entities gladly dispense that truth in a backhanded kind of way with, "and you can't do anything about it because you're broken and demoralized"

Wait - that's still assuming that we can't make our own way with our own answers - but again, I'm thinking too hard. This is to be considered as in a classroom setting in which we're conditioned from a young age: there's a right answer to every question, and we're just trying to align ourselves with it as a fundamentally separate entity from ourselves. That is the truth. That is correct. Something like, in the modern world, every question already comes with an answer deriving from past studies

I know that's fine and dandy as a world order for everyone else, but for me as the exception that proves the rule, you realize quickly it takes in fact an IQ *low enough* to process without being drawn on its own to broader subjects, which defeats the point, when just anyone else with a midwit IQ would be already all up in that. They would already be making six figures, not enthralled with anything *I'm* thinking on my own - I've missed the boat.

I don't know why I'm even talking, but I guess the agenda of higher entities like WEF and Blackrock of taking farms off our hands into a more definitive system just derives from the long-standing mindset that all our knowledge is now derivative of studies which are only helpful in that they have been collectively accumulated.

I thought about that once before, and it would seem to contradict the idea that evolutionism as a mindset arose from the direct relative of Luciferians: it says that, unlike this system which *denies* people at the ground level doing their own thing just to take the farce off of their hands, all forms of life originally came into being entirely *because* random generation eventually panned out winners.

You know how leftists are always calling it water-under-the-bridge when called out succinctly for doing what they made into the end of the world in their accusations of the other side? This might be in fact a case of that, on display in a more esoteric sense.

Honestly, I don't think we have any real upward mobility, even when it comes to trying to figure out matters of a higher nature on our own. The best you can hope to do is take the shills already out and about and try to *bait* them with some talk like this so they get enraged with it over the knowledge they already have and correct you, saying it's obviously this, this, and this. I've heard someone use a better term for it, but there isn't a time where the shills *aren't* or don't have the answer such that they're not the baseline for opinion, where the buck stops there for any given purposes. If I had to guess, these are established from top-level Masonry, where the agendas are formed organically, but not in a way that seems intuitive to us mere mortals on this pointless child's play-pen earth relative to the reality.

It's pointless. We're all going to live our lives as they were before we were conceived. I'm just going to lay around a lot.

And then the shills come out and say, this guy isn't a "part of it" - there's *really* nothing wrong with it (the WEF agenda, etc.)

And it's *true* - I'm really not a part of it when it comes to regular human people's processing of thoughts or any motivations or anything - shills don't even have to do a *job*; they are tasked only with the basic switching back on of people's suspended judgment based on that fact, and (really) they aren't needed to do that. It's just kind of like pouring salt in the wound, their being there, being that.

Update Well, anyway, I'm not an evolutionist. I don't believe that random generation can actually lead to the entire history of living creatures. (Honestly it gets off point to go on about this, but evolutionists will win the argument based on the fact that micro-evolution is demonstrable, creating a consensus such that they only need be obtuse to uphold it when presented with the question about the lack of evidence of macroevolution even in amber fossils, because with that consensus, that's neither here nor there.)

People tend not to find more profound results unless they were explicitly looking for something along those lines and then were essentially surprised by reality. People toiling at the ground level rarely produces these results. Plus, people that casual are just going to get bribed with external funding to skew the science to meet the producer's preconclusions. As usual. What do you expect? Science? That's been fundamentally defunct for however many several years.

Honestly, whether you're listening to a paid-off nu-scientist or the ramblings of some random person who may not really know much, we are mere mortals compared to the baseline-of-opinion online shill

[rotisseries]

thank you there is nothing I love more than permission to be annoying!

so! most byler's interpretation of the romeo and juliet references is that it spells a downfall for mlvn, that they are teens who couldn't tell a difference between love and infatuation, that whatever they have is doomed to fail, likely bc of teenaged naivete, that it's shallower than real love, and they were never in love bc you can't be in love with someone without knowing them. and this is an interpretation of the st r and j references that I agree with. specifically just in the case of stranger things. I don't see any other interpretation of the romeo and juliet references and where they appear that would make sense in the context of the show, it seems clear to me that this is the intended interpretation.

however, for that to be true, it DOES mean that all of the above mentioned points (shallow infatuation as opposed to real love, teen naivete, etc.) is most likely the duffer's interpretation of the play itself, which is a take I actually really disagree with! a lot of people seem to view romeo and juliet as a satirical critique of shallow teenagers when it's really not!

first of all, a lot of debate seems to come around whether or not they were really in love, which I'll come back to, but isn't important for now. for now, "were they really in love" isn't super important! whether they were or not, they never got to find out, bc the hatred between their two families over a conflict no one could even remember the start of lead to both of their deaths. the story is fundamentally about hatred and societal expectations killing these kids. and killing something that very well could have been really special and beautiful had it been allowed to thrive. "were they really in love? they only knew each other two weeks?" I don't know but don't you think it's tragic that WE DON'T GET TO FIND OUT?

but then back to the "were they in love?" thing. it's clear that the duffer's also think not, they clearly dislike love at first sight as a trope in general, and while I'm also generally in favor of lovers knowing each other for longer than a week, I DO think romeo and juliet were written to be truly and honestly in love, and I DO think that makes the tragedy greater. first of all, I think it's silly if your critique of romeo and juliet is that it's love at first sight. like ok, but that's literally the inciting incident. it's literally the main plot device to get the story started. like "plot hole! the plot started!" ok cinemasins. but second of all, they are pretty clearly written to be in love imo. when they first meet, their speech immediately is forming sonnets. this is where the entire "finishing each other's sentences" trope comes from, they get each other intimately, even at a first meeting, hence the poetry in the way they speak to each other. writing a pair's speech as flowing well like that was shakespeare's way of showing their compatibility with each other. it's in direct contrast to juliet's conversations with the man she's engaged to, paris, where conversation is stilted. romeo and juliet are written as being incredibly compatible and already understanding each other very well, even with so little time together. and it DOES make the tragedy greater! bc they WERE in love and maybe they WOULD'VE been able to fix this long running feud between their families, but that feud was more important to the families than their children's happiness, and ultimately romeo and juliet died, bc they were still children caught up in hatred that was too big for them, and they died rather than join that fight and it is tragic!!

so yeah I just think it's really disappointing that the duffer's seem to view r+j as a story of shallow infatuation and teenaged naivete, bc it's wrong and that also feels like the boring edgelord take honestly. like "ohh you're so much better than everyone else for not romanticizing a story of love at first sight and then dual suicide (not that those things necessarily SHOULD be romanticized, but it's annoying when someone swings so far in the other direction) you're so cool" and it just feels like a really disappointing interpretation of romeo and juliet, especially when that story has themes of societal expectations and the violence it can cause, and the love that directly defies those societal expectations and the tragedy when the love wasn't enough anyway, and all those things are SO applicable to stranger things, y'know? like, is that not so "conformity is killing the kids!"

me whenever I remember the romeo and juliet references in stranger things

[saurons-pr-department]

On Adar, Halbrand and Secret Sauron*

[Note: This post contains mention of events from the texts of The Silmarillion, Lord of the Rings and Morgoth's Ring (vol. 10 History of Middle Earth) and so may contain spoilers for anyone watching the show who isn't already familiar with the canon. Or not, I have no idea what they will and will not decide to include in this show.]

Love it, hate it, or could not care less about it, there is big excitement across much of Tolkien fandom about Amazon's The Rings of Power. One of the biggest sources of excitement, getting quite a lot of speculation from what I've seen, is Sauron. Specifically, have we seen him yet? And if so, who is he?

We are currenlty one episode away from the season one finale and there are two characters who've really caught people's attention as potential Saurons: Adar and Halbrand.

Now, as anyone who has even glanced at this blog will know, I kinda like Sauron. [mentally insert the Marge and potato meme here]. He has been Blorbo Supreme for some years now. And as you would imagine, I have opinions. Opinions on what constitutes a good portrayal of Sauron or, probably more appropriate in this case, what constitutes good hinting at Sauron. Of course, just like everyone else online, I'm not privy to any of what's going on behind the scenes in the writers' room, and I don't keep up with any production news, meaning I have no idea if it was intentional for either of these characters to be in the running for potential Saurons. As such, I feel it would be inappropriate to try to comment on how good or not so good I think the writers' trail of breadcrumbs is. After all, if they were never trying to hint, of course the trail won't be any good. For this reason, I'm going to simply discuss these two characters and their potential Sauron-ness, or complete lack thereof, in a kind of floating void (hi Melkor!). Not ideal, I know, but like I said, I have no idea if the intention was even there in the first place to mislead people in the case of these (or should I say, one of these...) characters.

First, I want to address the case of Adar. Of the two characters we're discussing, he's the one I think makes for the more likely Sauron. Do I think he's Sauron? ...The answer is more "I hope not". To my mind, he is too boring an entrance for an already evil Sauron and too blatant an entrance for a secret Sauron and so would be a disappointment. And then we have what, for me, would be the even bigger disappointment; we would no longer have Adar! Honestly, I love the introduction of a character who is one of the original Elves to have been spirited away by Morgoth and twisted to his service. Not to mention that wonderful "Orcs (apologies Adar, I mean Uruks) are just some guys" speech that would almost certainly be reneged on should Adar turn out to be Sauron. However, the above two points pertain more to personal preference on my part and do not play a role in how believable I think Adar is as Sauron. I just couldn't resist adding them in. As for whether I think the theory of Adar being Sauron holds any water... I don't think it's bad. I don't look at people like they've gone mad when they suggest it. I do however think that he's missing something as a Sauron.

We'll start off with what I think could indicate potential traces of Sauron.

Let's start with the lowest hanging fruit. The major red flag (and currently implied to maybe be a red herring) is that he is leading an army of Orcs and that, in a recent episode, together they have 'created' the land of Mordor. I'll admit, this is probably the weakest of the hints. Stealing that sword thingy and throwing the mentos into the coke bottle, sorry, setting off Mt. Doom, is something that easily could have been delegated to an underling. I mean, technically Waldreg did it in the end, so it actually was delegated to an underling now that I think of it. Anyway, on its own Operation M(en)t(os). Doom is not really much to say "there's Wally!**".

There are however points that could be a more direct hint at Sauron himself, things that are more consistent with what we know of his history and personality. The name 'Adar' itself could be a nod towards Sauron's probably having a hand in the creation of the Orcs. I say probably because it's never directly stated that he was involved, but the Valaquenta [from the published Silmarillion] does tell us that he was involved in all of Morgoth's schemes within Arda, with something similar mentioned in Myths Transformed in Morgoth's Ring. Together these texts tell us that he was generally the one who saw that Morgoth's plans were actually seen to completion (Melkor being the accidental god of ADHD). Then there's the reverence that the Uruks show for Adar. To me, this would very much be in line with how Sauron would expect to be treated. This Maia is nothing if not self-important (as anyone familiar with the whole 'mightiest werewolf' fiasco will tell you). We know that he wants to set himself up as a God-King (I'm so sorry, I cannot for the life of me remember where I've seen Tolkien use that phrase for him!). He doesn't simply want to control his followers, he wants their worship. He doesn't want to just be in charge, he wants people to recognise his divine right to be in charge. Adar seems to have something akin to this in the Uruks who follow him.

Then we have two points that I'll admit do require a little bit of a stretch, but hopefully you'll agree it's a stretch that stays within the realms of believability. When Adar is approached by Waldreg and asked if he is Sauron, we see a look of almost disgust on his face. Later, we're led to believe that this is because Adar hates Sauron and has in fact destroyed him in order to free himself and his fellow Uruks of his tyrannous reign. We know from Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings, that 'Sauron' is not the name this character uses for himself. Which, honestly? Fair. It means the Abhorred and was bestowed upon him by his enemies. He does not use it himself and Aragorn tells us that he does not permit its use among his followers. Again, fair. If people I didn't like went around calling me 'That Fucking Bitch' I don't think I'd be rushing to adopt its use either. I certainly wouldn't go calling Sauron 'Sauron' to his face unless I had a death wish. During his reign prior to 'capture' by Númenor, he styled himself Tar-Mairon, which Tolkien translates as 'King Excellent', again driving home how highly this guy thinks of himself. I would also here like to point out that 'Mairon' is supposed to be his name before his fall. The Admirable is what it means. 'Sauron' is probably intended to be a pun on, or corruption of, this. To me Tar-Mairon is simply him using his own name, but I digress. My point is that he doesn't like being called Sauron because that's not actually his name. It's an insult. As for Adar claiming to have killed Sauron and now having noble purposes, I think it could be argued that perhaps this is a reference to how, following the War of Wrath and the capture of Morgoth, Sauron did try to repent, perhaps even genuinely [Of the Rings of Power and the Third Age, the published Silmarillion]. In both Of the Rings of Power and the Third Age and Myths Transformed, we are given information on how he did genuinely believe that Eru and the Valar had abandoned Middle Earth (or at least had successfully deluded himself into believing this), that he desired to create a better world and had at some point probably genuinely cared about the well-being of his subjects, but that he couldn't help but fall back into evil and into imitating his old master. Personally, I would not reject turning over a new leaf as the reality behind the claim that Adar has killed Sauron, but that might just be because I am a sucker for a character 'killing' their former self in order to become something new. What can I say? I'm part of the Obi Wan 'from a certain point of view' Kenobi school of thought. Now, I could talk forever about Sauron's motives and his possibly maybe trying and failing not to be evil that one time, but this post will quickly end up falling down a rabbit hole it was never meant to enter, so I will leave it at that...

There is one Adar moment (that I remember anyway, you think I remember things? no) that strikes me as distinctly un-Sauron. This would be the moment where he's almost in tears and states that he is not a god, not yet. Now, I know you're going to say "But Sorcha, wanting to be a god is so on brand for Sauron. That's as Sauron as it gets," and you would be right, but here's the thing; as I've already mentioned this guy loves himself, thinks he's the best thing since lembas bread, not to mention the fact that he has a massive cocky streak. Do we need to mention the werewolf thing again [Tale of Beren and Lúthien]? Standing on top of a temple in a lightning storm as if that was all Manwë or Eru had [Akallabêth]? How about laughing at his own evil plan so hard he didn't realise that he was about to be absolutely bodied by a giant island-sinking wave [Akallabêth]? Or what about how he is actually one of the demi gods that helped to sing the physical world into existence? Do we really think this guy is going to sit there and cry about how he's not a god or do we think he's going fume at how no one is acknowledging his brilliance and right to be their ruler? We also know that no matter what the situation, this man seems to be in a laughing mood and that the Second Age is when he seems to be carrying out his most ambitious and unhinged plans (making the One Ring [Of the Rings of Power and the Third Age], setting up a whole human sacrifice cult dedicated to Melkor and achieving immortality [Akallabêth]). Yes, yes, I know, lies and pretences are his whole thing, he's the great Deceiver and all that, but that doesn't change the fact that we often get this strong sense of a joyously cruel and self-important personality from many scenes with Sauron, even when he is lying (he doesn't pretend to be a nobody when he's pretending to be Annatar, does he?). For me, this moment for Adar doesn't match with this personality. It's not a complete misstep, but I would argue that it doesn't quite fit what we know of him.

Right! So, I have spoken way more about Adar than I intended to, and my tiny attention span is trying to Melkor its way out of writing the rest of this post. Unfortunately, I don't have a Sauron to pick up the slack for me, so I best move on to Halbrand before I give up altogether!

Halbrand. Halbrand Halbrand Halbrand. Where do I even start? Being 100% honest, I actually thought this was a crack theory when I first saw it. You know, we have this mysterious guy and we haven't seen Sauron yet so wouldn't it be funny if he was Sauron??? But then I realised that people were being serious. The guy we meet floating on a raft and then see get the shit kicked out of him by random guys who it most certainly would not suit Sauron's purposes to let humiliate him?? The guy who's kinda flirty with Galadriel, who we all know spotted Annatar's bullshit a mile away?? That guy???

There is just... so much wrong here and the connections so tenuous. Yeah, he's interested in forge work but like, so are a ridiculous number of other characters? Being a smith is a whole thing in Tolkien. Is Celebrimbor now in the running for Sauron? Maybe the reason Sauron is so tall is because he's secretly all of the Noldor and all of the Dwarves standing on each other’s shoulders and wearing a trench coat! Okay, so he's clearly not being truthful and we don't really know what his deal is. Gil-Galad, Celebrimbor and the various Durins were all rather shifty at the start in regards the Mithril situation. Míriel wasn't instantly forthcoming about the condition her father was in. Holding things back is not Sauron exclusive. My personal favourite was seeing it pointed out that he laughed once, which as I mentioned above Sauron often is described as doing but like (Jesus wept) I'm laughing right now writing this. Am I Sauron?? (this is starting to feel like that everything is cake video). I have yet to see any evidence given for Halbrand being Sauron that is actually specific to Sauron and not the vaguest of grasping at straws.

This is of course without even going into how Sauron is supposed to arrive in Númenor. A prized prisoner who quickly silver-tongues his way into Ar-Pharazôn's ear, allowing him to become High Priest of the temple of Melkor. He allows only the briefest of humiliations against his person before viciously tearing apart their little island society by the already rotten seams. The random cast away found half dead on a raft is.... not this.

For me, the biggest hole in the idea that he is secretly Sauron is that Halbrand is neither positioning himself to be helpful to anyone, nor is he positioning himself as important. Galadriel is, but he's not doing it himself. For a while he's been trying to insist that he wants to be just some guy. But one theme that runs through Sauron's big Second Age schemes (being Annatar in Eregion and allowing himself as Tar-Mairon to be Númenor's prisoner) is that he establishes himself as someone useful to those he would manipulate and that he somehow has the connections to back up that usefulness. It's how he gets them. He finds something they desperately want and lets them think that he is the person who can get it for them. For the Elves, it was the chance to create a Valinor in Middle Earth or at least to heal the hurts of the First Age. For the Men of Númenor, it was to rip immortality from the hands of the Valar who were withholding it from them. Maybe it's to do with his pride, but he doesn't do the random guy who gets into a brawl with nobodies in a back ally for a bit of petty theft. In his head, he's Middle Earth's saviour. Everything would be perfect if everyone just did what he told them to. Even in all his lying and scheming and manipulating, elements of the belief that he is just what this world needs seem to come through. Just look at his 'disguise' as Annatar. He's 'The Lord of Gifts', a follower of Aulë, a Maia, an emissary of the Valar come to guide the Elves. There is so much of him as Sauron in this deception. Now, I could see a certain amount of practicality in being honest that he is a Maia. It allows him to use his powers for the making of the Rings as well as allowing him to really manipulate those complex feeling the Elves in Middle Earth would have towards the West. But I would also argue that there's just a limit to how much he is willing to lower himself, even for a plot as important as trying to bring the Elves under his sway. This is something that the character of Halbrand is missing.

Now, would I trust this man around a Ring of Power? No, probably not. I wouldn't turn my nose up at him becoming an eventual Ring Wraith. He seems suitably conflicted in what he wants to be caught up by the pull of a Ring. Is he Sauron though? No. Zero Sauron vibes. -1000000/10. If he turns out to be Sauron, I'm rage-quitting my telly and never turning it on again. He's also about as interesting as a wet sock, which is not something that could be said about Sauron.

If we're going to see a character who turns out to be Sauron, for me the most believable and most realistic would be a character who initially seems too good to be true. They have something to offer. Something others want. And they are going to be so obliging as to help, because they also believe in all the things we do. They're on our side. Their help is invaluable and oh so precious…

*Secret Sauron the festive celebration where you are gifted magical rings no strings attached we promise

**Waldo for the Americans and their strange ways

[rainofaugustsith]

Rain Plays SWTOR: Spirit of Vengeance Survival Walkthrough

As we head toward 7.0, I thought it would be a good idea to check in with a Spirit of Vengeance Survival Guide, 2.0. I have my own feelings about SoV - namely that it's boring, tedious and was tuned way too high for a main story solo flashpoint - but let's move on to the actual guide. 

This is a guide specifically for those of you who just want to get this flashpoint over with so you can move on. 

I personally would advise trying to knock this flashpoint out of your story progression BEFORE 7.0. We have no idea how hard content is going to be once you lose some of your abilities and utilities, so if you have any characters who are planned to continue with the main story, I'd take them through now while you have all of the tools in your toolbox and are familiar with them.

After literally months of complaints the devs finally toned down this flashpoint to a more manageable level, but there are still a lot of mobs that hit hard, and it's still really long. When I went through with canon Viri and Lana at level 50, with Viri fully geared toward 306, I moved right along through the flashpoint without difficulty or deaths. It still took almost exactly an hour. It's even longer when you're contending with Rass Ordo and a lot of cut scenes. 

You will want to gear as well as you can for this - you should not have to since this is a story/solo flashpoint in the main story, but it will help you here. Remember you DO NOT have to group to get good gear. There are numerous solo missions that will give you gear up to 306 - the Mek-Sha Tradehouse missions, Personal Conquest each week, solo flashpoints, including the Onderon weekly and daily missions. Other suggestions: 

1. Buy and use the Supplied Kyrprax Command Stim, available at any medical droid in the flashpoint, including the one when you first land on Ship #1. If you're doing this as part of the main story, you unfortunately still have Rass Ordo as your companion. Rass Ordo, despite being influence level 25, still has the AI of a cardboard box. You'd be better off bringing along a Jawagram as your companion. This stim will up your presence for an hour and make him slightly less incompetent. 

2. If you can, equip yourself with the Life Warden tactical. This tactical drops fairly frequently from personal conquest and other gold gear boxes. It essentially gives you an extra heal in a tight situation and can come in handy. 

3. Medpac on your abilities bar. You hopefully won't need this, but have it handy just in case. You may want to invest in the Supplied Kyprax Med Unit medpac, which will heal you AND your companion. 

Within the flashpoint, some general caveats. You're looking at quantity, not quality here. It's just a lot of NPCs piling in on you. 

1. KILL THE HEALERS FIRST. KILL THE HEALERS FIRST. KILL THE HEALERS FIRST. Just about every mob here has healers. They have different names on each ship: 

- Varad Churl

- Darmanda Medic

- Ashade Lorekeeper 

If you don't kill the medics first the fights will be even more interminable. Get rid of them. 

2. Remember there are kolto stations in a lot of the rooms, not just the boss areas. 

3. Be very careful because there are a lot of mob groups close together. Watch where you are blasting/Force-whatevering because you don't want to pull more than one group at once. 

4. Get your gear repaired as often as you can. If you've fought a tough mob and there's a medical droid nearby, go to it and patch up, even if it means you have to backtrack. 

5. Get really familiar with any AOE (area of effect) skills you have. Know where they are on your abilities bar and how to use them. Given the mobs in this flashpoint, anything you have that can clobber several NPCs at once is welcome.

Now, here we go.

SHIP #1: 

Banquet room: after you fight the first mob and take the elevator, you will find yourself in a large "banquet room" with a lot of mobs. Pick a straight line and go forward, taking care not to veer too far to the sides. If you wander, you'll invariably pull the mobs on the sides of the room. 

The rest of this ship is pretty straightforward; it's just a lot of mob NPCs converging on you at once, over and over again. 

Gorga Brak: Straightforward; stay out of the red circles. Be aware that Rass Ordo will helpfully stand in these circles and let Gorga set him on fire, so don't expect any help during the fight. 

SHIP #2: 

More of the same: lots of mobs, now with Dar'manda nameplates. The Dar'manda medics try to hide more than the healers on the other ships, sometimes even going behind crates or other barriers, so keep your eyes peeled for them. 

First thing of concern here: after a few rooms of mobs, you will arrive at the notorious jumping puzzle. Just stay on the right side of the room and walk along the beam. There are a few jumps up onto pieces of metal but they are not hard, ambitious jumps. Otherwise you just have two places where you have to make sure your character drops down onto the beam and not into the flames. Angle your camera overhead so you can see what you are doing. 

Now it's time to go through the notorious Room After The Kitchen. As the name would suggest, you will know this is coming when you go through the kitchen. All the NPCs in the kitchen are neutral; leave them alone and keep going. The next room is a ballroom and you will find a lot of mobs. 

You can get through this room by fighting only two mobs IF you watch where you are fighting and blasting. I like to try to get the first mob up onto the stairs so there's less of a chance that anyone else in the room will be disturbed. Kill the medics first. Then go straight foward - right through the fountain - and up the stairs to the second mob. I again like to try to fight them in their alcove up the stairs so I don't pull the other NPCs in the room. 

You will now go down some corridors with more mobs - the space is tight, which in a way is good because you can't aggro more than one mob unless you really try. If you are going for bonus missions there are some rooms here to visit off the main path. If you're just trying to get this damned flashpoint over, continue straight down the hall toward that green arrow. 

After taking the elevator you'll get to the tether room, and a yellow message will flash onscreen about it. There will be a very large mob here with a lot of Dar'manda Commander silver NPCs. If Rass Ordo decides to up and die on you, it may be here. Remember there's a kolto station to the immediate right of where you walked into the room. 

Click the blue box to release the tether. Do NOT get too close to the rancor in the cage, Goldie. Back when SoV was first released, she'd aggro on you even from in her cage, and you couldn't kill her or get out of combat. They seem to have fixed that bug, but you know how that goes. 

Bask Sunn: Kill. The. Medics. First. After that, Bask Sunn has a wicked knockback, but he can't knock you *out* of the ship anymore. Remember Bask Sunn leaves a crate with your loot (look on the bridge), it's not on his person. 

SHIP #3: 

Your first challenge here will be another room with a lot of intense mobs. Take care not to pull more than one mob at once. Rass may decide to try to die here. 

You will quickly reach the sniper room. It's a long room with two snipers by the far doorway, shooting at you. Don't try to engage them; just keep running forward. As you cross this room, you will drop through the floor. It's a long fall but you won't take any damage; it's what the game wants you to do. 

Rass will not fall with you, and you will have a room of tentacles to fight on your own. Hit Unity and Heroic Moment BEFORE you fall, when you are still in the sniper room with Rass. You can use your HM abilities against the tentacles. If you really  have trouble with them, try to get out of the garbage pit; you will find a kolto station at the top of the small ramp. 

Now we come to...oh look, another room with a lot of mobs. They're so creative here. Do your best not to pull more than one at once, kill the medics, you know the drill by now. 

Troya Ajak: No special tricks. Stay out of the red circles. Her songbird volley is nasty, but she's perhaps the easiest boss in this flashpoint. 

FOURTH SHIP (The Spirit of Vengeance, I think?) 

Thankfully this is almost a straight shot to the final boss encounter, and there's a medical droid just before it. You may wish to wait for your Heroic Moment to cool down if you have recently used it. 

The silver NPC in the small mob right outside Heta Kol's area sometimes does not die. If you find that they keep recharging to full health, walk past them, put Rass on passive, and wait by the medical droid.  They should eventually give up and go back to their original spots and you can go on. 

Heta Kol: This fight has mercifully been toned down. There are two stages: 

You'll fight Heta Kol straight on. She has a serious knockback, but there aren't any special tricks here. 

1. Stage One: fight Heta. 

2. Heta disappears and a mob appears at the bottom of the stairs. There are two medics, and the Commanders will have knockbacks to keep you from killing the healers. 

3. After all the mob NPCs are defeated, Heta will return. Keep trying to hit her. 

4. Heta disappears. This time there's a mob with two gold Varad NPCs and two weaker ones at the stairs, plus two silver Dar'manda snipers on the platform. If you have any AOE skills, make sure they are available here so you can take out as many as possible at once. You may wish to consider saving Heroic Moment for this point so you can use Orbital Strike if you have it. Rass Ordo loves to die at this point so be mindful of where your kolto stations are. You might need the kolto for him, even if you don't need it for you. 

5. Heta Kol returns with a much more serious knockback and red circles of doom that increase in size and are hard to avoid. You're going to get thrown around a lot. ETA with thanks to @vespertine-legacy: The circles can be interrupted, which may make this fight easier.

And...you're done. Thank the stars. 

[whattodowithace]

Drinking With Cupid Part I (Chan)

Title: Drinking With Cupid Part I

Pairing: Chan x Reader

Genre: Angst; Fluff

Word Count: 5,159 Words (all parts)

Writer: Whattodowithkpop [Lio]

A/N: I think I have seen a movie or tv show with a similar concept to this, but if I have, I don't remember for certain. I was also inspired by the song 'Drinking With Cupid' by VOILÀ. This is for the @acewriters writing event.

*****

Half of the world lives in committed bliss, thriving with their significant others, some with children as they live their life in a happy family unit. The other half were not tied down, either living alone or even still living with mom and dad in their basement for the ease and convince. It's hard to find love, even in a world littered with dating apps and websites, it would seem as if finding a partner would be much easier.

Here at Cupid, we don't agree with the apps and websites philosophy. Running numbers is a much more efficient way of finding love with much more ease and much less heartbreak. Sure, there are some adults who prefer to stay single and plan to be that way for a long time, to those we applaud and root for as they follow their dreams. For the millions who long to find love, however, we have your solution. Cupid was founded by its CEO, who went by the name Cupid, back in 2018, and since then has been working on matchmaking software that outshines even the best dating websites and apps. His software is nearly perfect down to the final .%, ensuring an airtight compatibility that has successfully matched thousands of happy couples since its launch in 2019. The future is bright for Cupid, with more and more matches being made the more accurate the percentages are becoming. All you need to do is go by Cupid Incorporated to get your numbers in our system and from their we will do the rest.

~

Chan walks along the floor, surrounded by hundreds of guests that had come to celebrate Cupid's two year anniversary. He was the founder of this algorithm, however he remains anonymous by his own will, knowing some people wouldn't be thrilled about the idea of this type of system for matchmaking. Chan had started this project after he had many failed relationships. Some only lasted a few weeks and ended without much attachment, however, there were some relationships that were lengthy and caused deep scaring on his heart when they ended. That's when he thought of this idea, of matchmaking based on numbered compatibility. He wanted to find the one he would match with, the one that would make him happy without having to go through the tragic relationships that were doomed for failure from the start.

Eventually, he became consumed with this project, abandoning dating altogether and harvesting a desire to perfect this algorithm. He didn't look for love anymore and soon, his desire for true love dwindled and was replaced by the success that Cupid started bringing him. When Cupid became big, he was running compatibility numbers all day, hundreds of numbers running matches and placing people together where more than 94% of matches were successful to lifelong companionship.

Chan, now a young adult well on his way to become one of the biggest entrepreneurs in the world, filled his pleasures elsewhere, his money getting him anything he wanted to which he used to fill up his free time. Here he was, at the anniversary party for his company, a hidden alter ego amongst the crowd, no one having the faintest clue as to how powerful he was. He quite enjoyed it, it was how he got most of his biggest investors was undercover work like this, plus without all the press. However, chatting with these rich powerful people in one room was something that became exhausting in a rather quick manner. He would wander off into a quiet space, taking a large allotted time to recuperate from the tiring chats.

On one of his getaways, he escaped to the hallways of the auditorium his company booked for the party. The spacious hallways carried the echos of his footsteps down the entirety of the hallway, alerting anyone, if there, that he was walking down the corridor. That meant he was also able to hear footsteps if there happened to be a soul walking through the same halls and, coincidently, there was. The sharp, quick sounds were easy to deduct that the person was, most likely, a female wearing a thin high heel and walking at a quick pace back to the party area. Chan felt a rush of excitement at the small mystery he had encountered in the hallway. It wasn't big like a robbery or a murder, but for what was going on in the room behind him, this was an exciting change of pace.

Chan, however, was not ready for this mystery to be reveled to him, the figure making his heart stop for a few seconds, before beating in an irregular pattern. His throat went dry, his palms sweaty and his knees weak, his mind blanking as the woman he had hypothesized rounded the corner. However, he didn't hypothesize her to be stunning in every way, an enchantress of his body approaching him faster than he could prepare.

When she saw him her head tilted in confusion, she didn't expect to see someone else in this quiet hallway. As she approached him, Chan felt as time had stopped when she stood in front of him, her smile radiant as it beamed at him.

"I'm looking for the Cupid anniversary party, I got dropped off at the wrong entrance." Her voice was soothing, something Chan could listen to all day without getting bored.

He hadn't realized how long he had been staring, until she asked the question again with a nervous laugh, the awkward tension building the longer he stayed silent.

"Oh!" He exclaims, a bright blush creeping onto his cheeks and ears as he scratches the back of his head. "It's just down this hallway, the party is behind the yellow doors you can't miss them."

She smiles with a small laugh, nodding in understanding. "Thank you."

Chan watches her begin to walk away, towards the direction he had just came. It takes him a second before he comes to his senses, walking to catch up with her until he walks beside her.

"Would it be okay if I accompanied you to the party? I wouldn't want you to walk by yourself, especially since you already got dropped off at the wrong entrance."

She looks over to him, her smile reaching her eyes and making Chan's heart spin.

"That would be great, thank you."

The two walk back to the party, their conversation engaging and never finding a dull moment. Even during the party, the pair stayed close by, engaging in many more conversations as the evening continued. Chan was smitten and he knew it. All the plans he had for years to come flew out the window as he talked to her more, finding her funny and adorable making him fall for her more as the sun set in the sky. It was the end of the night when they, finally, had a moment alone with most of the guests having left he could hear her with more clarity.

"Are you here to invest in Cupid?" Chan asks, his nerves high as it was a personal question especially in this line of business.

"Oh, I'm not an investor." She smiles as she looks out the giant windows the venue had, the stars beginning to emerge from the darkness of the night sky. "I actually have my numbers in Cupid's system. I wasn't exactly invited personally, I only wanted to hear more about Cupid's algorithm."

As the secret host of the party, Chan normally would've been annoyed by this intrusion, however in this case, he was ecstatic over her sneaking in this way. He was also elated to hear her numbers were in the system, even though he had a policy for himself that he couldn't use the numbers for his own benefit, he was excited to hear she didn't hate the algorithm.

He was thrown off guard when she asked him the same question, his nerves skyrocketing as he hadn't prepared a cover story, most investors just wanted to talk about themselves and money so they never asked for his specifics. In his panicked state, he blurted the first thing that came to his mind.

"I'm Cupid's brother." Chan trails off, watching as her face shows a range of emotions.

"Wait, you know Cupid?" She asks in excitement, making Chan feel a bout of anger for his imaginary brother she asked about with such excitement.

"I do." He says, his response short and annoyed.

"That must be interesting. Especially, with how his brain works to where it was able to create an algorithm such as Cupid."

Chan realized how idiotic it was, feeling jealousy over himself because he panicked and told a lie, however he couldn't help it as he watched her talk about another guy the way she was talking about Cupid.

"Yea, he is really smart." Chan mumbles, watching as she turns to face him.

"I'm sure you hear that a lot, so I would rather talk about you." She smiles, her body turned towards his, giving him her full attention.

Chan smiles, feeling butterflies in his stomach as she looks at him waiting for him to tell his story. Chan felt those butterflies drop, however, when he realized he was Cupid and to tell her about himself would mean he'd have to talk about his imaginary brother.

"It's getting really late." Chan notes as he sees the sun sinking below the horizon. "What if I took you to dinner sometime and we can continue our conversation."

The woman smiles, her bottom lip hiding behind her teeth to try to surppress her smile. "I would really like that, yeah."

The two exchanged numbers before exchanging goodbyes, each leaving their own way after exiting the venue. Chan felt a surge in his heart, a feeling he never felt before in any relationship he has ever been in. It felt like there was a spark between the two of them, sending jolts of excitement through his body. He went home, his first call to one of his good friends, Donghun, as he told him about the girl that had caught his attention. Donghun expressed excitement for his friend, however, felt an uneasiness about the situation, warning Chan to proceed with caution in this relationship. In his state, Chan missed the warning, telling Donghun he needed to go think up a cover story for him to tell her when they went to dinner, making Donghun feel even more uneasy as they said their goodbye's.

On the other side of the city, she arrived home, calling one of her good friends as well to tell him about the man she met. However, her conversation had a little different feeling than Chan's. Her friend, Byeongkwan, was her confidant in her elaborate plan to take down Cupid and his algorithm. Her numbers were in the Cupid database, yes, however she had already been matched. She was matched with a man who's numbered compatibility was high with hers, they dated for three years, hundreds of memories made together and loved poured into each other. It was two months before their wedding, both having gone to their respected parties and planning on sleeping apart that night as they were expecting to be too far gone to both make it home. That night she found him with another woman, in their shared bed. She was heartbroken, having poured two years of her love and life into this man all based on numbers calculated on a computer made her bitter at the world. Thus began her plan for revenge. She didn't have much of a plan, only knowing she wanted to end Cupid for good, not wanting anyone else to continue dating someone because their numbers were compatible, that wasn't how you found love.

Byeongkwan was her friend that helped her through her breakup, one that took a long time to recoup from. He didn't agree 100% with her plan, however, it was what got her off his couch and back to her life, so he didn't want to send her back into her lethargic way just because he disagreed with her motives. So he listened to her that night, her telling him about the man she met that was related to Cupid and how she planned to get some information about him through Chan. However, something had Byeongkwan smirking on the other side of the phone. She talked about 'using' this Chan character, however she had a lot of sweet things to say about him and expressed countless times how much she enjoyed his company. Before they ended their call Byeongkwan asked her if she would go on the date, to which she replied with an immediate 'yes'. Byeongkwan, relieved, bid her a goodnight and congratulated her on finding someone who could help advance her in her tale for revenge.

~

Byeongkwan was surprised to receive a call the next night, his clock showing almost midnight when her caller I.D flashed across the screen. He was even more surprised to hear they had already been on their date and to keep adding to the surprises, she didn't mention Cupid once. The only thing she talked about was Chan and his goofy personality that she found adorably alluring. Byeongkwan couldn't help but feel relief hearing her talk about a man this way again, a man that sounded good for her and one who wouldn't end up breaking her heart. Byeongkwan knew you couldn't base a character purely on second hand accounts from one date, however everyone starts somewhere and this Chan fellow was starting out right in Byeongkwan's book.

Yet again, on the other side of the city, Chan had called Donghun to tell him about the date. Donghun was elated Chan had found someone he really liked, someone that seemed to compliment him well, however one thing still plagued Donghun's mind that he couldn't let go of.

"She doesn't know you're Cupid." Donghun's solemn voice travels into Chan's ear and makes the boy's cheery smile drop.

"I'll tell her eventually." Chan promises his friend, his tone quiet from how it usually was.

"I don't want to see you put it off so long that a small, white lie becomes a regret."

"I know, I know. I promise I'll tell her soon."

~ Next Part

A.C.E MASTERLIST

[bernardodpm]

what am i going to write about when i'm fine?

.

yesterday i fell asleep at 1am cause i was full of ideas for texts i wanted to write that i became so excited i just couldn't shut my brain off.

(which is actually ironic seeing how i started writing to ease my mind and, consequently, sleep better at night.)

but yesteday it was like my brain was literally vomiting words in here, and i'm very happy with some things that came out of there.

actually, i'm quite pleased with my new writing habit, even though my ideas for these texts usually come from a place of pain.

but today, in typical 'me' fashion, i caught myself thinking of a situation that will probably never happen.

the line of thought was as follows;

"one day i won't have any more problems. and when this day come, what will i write about?

what am i going to write about when i'm fine?

would a 'happy me' even have the desire to translate my thoughts and feelings into a piece of digital paper?"

cause one day i'll be fine, right?

one day i'll figure out my self-esteem problems.

one day i'll be so experienced in life that i'll know how to deal with any situation it throws at me.

one day i'll understand what goes on inside my mind, and, from that day forward, i'll never feel lonely again.

or am i faded to live in constant doubt?

am i stuck with problems that will procreate themselves again and again until the day that i die?

am i doomed to live a life that will never make complete sense?

do i have a curse or something?

"the curse of the living."

maybe God gave me this curse just because it doesn't want me to run out of things to write about.

but we don't need to go that deep.

maybe i gave myself this curse because i know my life would be boring without all this hurt.

maybe i gave myself this curse because it wouldn't be me if i didn't suffer.

or maybe i gave myself this curse because i know i write better texts from a place of pain.

.

a quiet life with no art

or

a painful one full of it.

what a tragic destiny either way,

since the pain would come anyway.

through the life itself

or through the lack of beauty in it.

and then we'd end at the same place where we started.

.

"art imitates life."

or was it the other way around?

well, i prefer to think of it as a circle.

without art, what would our life inspires for?

without our life, art wouldn't be able to exist.

but what if my art imitates my pain?

then i'd have to add another number to this equacion;

pain is needed.

(not like i really had a voice in this matter.)

and maybe that's the answer; to transform all this pain and all this hurt into something else.

screaming and squirming until it all comes out,

putting it into words

and restarting the whole process again.

what a beautiful thing it is to live.

.

it's midnight, and i'm pushing it all out of me.

b.

05/01/2019

.

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

uhhhhh i love the sensation of impending doom when you know a plot twist will be there at the end of the road specially in fantasy!!

i’m into two povs when it’s like Julia Quinn and other period authors do it or two first person povs in contemporary romances but the latter can trigger some self deprecating thoughts so i tend to avoid them when i know it’s gonna be too passionate

uhhh but like on the whole did you enjoy throne of glass?? i read the first one but…. i don’t know…. it felt too fanfic-esque for me which is terrible to say because there’s so much astonishing prose in here but i can’t think of any other way to describe it so i didn’t think it was worth my time but maybe you’ll change my mind? (i mean the 7-9 povs makes me wanna run for the hills haha)

yeah it’s all about the tension, steamy, snarky, funny pining count me in, whining, teenage pining nah-ah not gonna happen. since we’re talking pining and i just saw your summer book recs i wanna suggest you to read people we meet on vacation instead of book lovers, if i could pick any topic to do an hour ted talk about would be “how disappointing was book lovers” 🤷🏼‍♀️ but i also wanna know what you think about tessa bailey (from your last post i get that you like her hehe), im thinking about giving her books a try but i don’t know…… something in me is holding me back

~goodreads anon

Yes, but only if the plot twist is executed well. I've seen too many bad ones, I'm very sceptical at this point :D

"The latter can trigger some self deprecating thoughts"... wait... hold on, what do you mean? If you don't mind, can you explain that? You don't have to, of course, if it makes you uncomfortable, I'm just curious.

Oh dear, here we go, you should not have asked me that question. TOG is a sensitive topic here xD You see, you are asking the wrong person and now I'm gong to have a word vomit. You opened a can of worms! The following is completely my personal opinion and doesn't represent others. (I hope noone will bash me)

You see, I loved Acotar. I fell in love with it. I'm still obsessing over it. So, I had high hopes for TOG. But it was a complete and utter disappointment. I rated the Throne of Glass series 2 and 3 stars out of 5. I suffered and suffered through books after books. I usually read 700 pages on a good day. These 8 books took me 1.5 months to finish.

I kind liked book one, because I love Dorian, I adore my princeling, but then Chaol was meh and I couldn't stand Celaena whilst Rowan didn't do it for me either. The only reason I kept going with this series, even though the characters were meh and the story was mild, was because Dorian and Manon were brilliant. Even Lorcan was intriguing. But if those three weren't in the books, I would have DNFed the very first book in my life.

I know why people like it, I can see why they would like it and I respect that, but for me it was a freaking struggle. So all in all, does it get better after the first two books? Yes, because new interesting characters come along. But the plot is still mild, most of the characters are boring or arrogant and the way it's written, jumping between multiple povs as if you were travelling between events like when you accidentally flip 5 pages at a time, made me physically (I'm not lying) pull my hair. So, do with that information what you will.

Yes, I get you, but then those teenage, whining, pinning books are usually targeted for teenagers. So obviously they will be slightly more cringey. I don't think it's bad though, it's just different. As an adult, I do prefer the snarky, steamy pinning, but when I was a teenager, I could melt at those cringey teenage pinning scenes xD

I do plan to read 'People we meet on vacation', but I'm on a book buying ban until August so I have to read what's on my shelf :D I'm glad you actually said "how disappointing was Book Lovers" because I can go into it with a bit more scepticism and I won't be as disappointed if it's bad. But then I heard so much good about it (BookTok) that at this point I just have to decide for myself. I will read it after I finish my current read and can I ask you to rant to me about it once I finished? :D

Okay, I'm going to be very transparent with you about Tessa Bailey. Is she my favourite author? Nope! Are her stories excellent? Nope! But she is good and her stories have some sort of an edge. I personally have a love hate relationship with her books. I don't like them like I'm intrigued by the characters or they have amazing plot lines. They don't. But at the same time, I can't put them down. I can't explain to you what it is. They piss me off, but I love them. Do I even make sense? Anyway, I always recommend her because of my ambivalent feelings about her books xD

‘Heloise the book addict’ masterlist | Heloise’s map