#i don’t want to hear anything about ‘why are you getting high while you’re sick’ look it can’t make me worse
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My grandparents showed up half an hour after I took an edible and I’m just gonna say now, I have never known fear like that
#i don’t want them to experience my high self 😭😭😭#why they feel the need to expose themselves to me when i have infectious diseases is absolutely beyond me. it needs to be studied#‘don’t let them in-‘ they have a key to my house and they’re insane#my grandma tried to leave with my bedsheets because i’m not doing laundry fast enough for her liking#my granddad was stood way too close to me trying on all my hats#i’m lying here oppressed by the plague thinking ‘if you’re tired of living you can just say that’#i don’t want to hear anything about ‘why are you getting high while you’re sick’ look it can’t make me worse#also i haven’t slept more than 5 hours a night in over a week and nytol flat out doesn’t work on me#i need to call in the big guns#they did leave and the edible still hasn’t kicked in. which is surprising actually#i usually get 40 minutes at most between eating the edible and the edible hitting me like a freight train#if it gets to more than an hour i’m having another bite tbh because this is not normal#personal
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He Calls you Clingy - Hwang Hyunjin
Hyunjin x FemReader
Trigger Warnings: Pregnancy, mentions of drunken nights, inaccurate medical terminology, hospitalization, mentions of traumatic birth, mention of placental abruption, cussing, blood,
Word Count: 7k
Summary: You and Hyunjin had started off as best friends but after a drunken night where drunk confessions led to more, an accidental pregnancy occured. You and Hyunjin were both scared of what the future held but as time went on Hyunjin became more and more distant. After a while you couldn't stand it anymore and ask him about it. It leads to a big fight, which leads to months of not talking, after he almost loses you and the baby, you work together to repair what was broken. Will the relationship be saved?
Bang Chan | Lee Know | Seo Changbin | Han Jisung | Lee Felix | Kim Seungmin | Yang Jeongin
Photo's do not belong to me, credit goes to photographers
I had been best friends with Hyunjin for years and as much as I hated to admit it, over those years I had fallen in love with him. I had always thought that there was no way that he could ever feel the same way about me, because I mean he’s him and I’m well me. But to my surprise after a drunken night together after one of his award shows feelings came out and things got heated. We decided that we would try and see where a relationship between us might go but keep it on the down low, only his members and his management knew. It wasn’t entirely what I wanted but I knew that it was what was best at the moment, we didn’t know where things would go or what the future held for us.
Present:
It had been about two months since the night that Hyunjin and I had drunkenly confessed and slept together. It had been the best two months of my life, no longer having to hide how I felt from him, getting to be on the receiving end of his affection felt better than I had ever expected. The only issue is that the entire time I’ve been feeling sick, I didn’t want to think anything of it but when my period hadn’t shown up for two months I knew that the likelihood of what that meant was something that none of us were prepared for. I knew what the likely answer was but with confirmation from the pregnancy test and from the doctor, I knew that I needed to tell Hyunjin sooner rather than later. I needed to tell him soon so that if he decided that this was something that he wasn’t ready for then I would have enough time to mentally prepare myself to have the baby by myself. I knew that he was coming over tonight so I would be able to tell him tonight, not have to text him in the middle of his work day and stress him out.
That night:
I was so zoned out reading a book that I didn’t hear Hyunjin come in, he had tried to get my attention but when he touched my shoulder I jumped so high that he couldn’t contain his laughter.
“Jinnie, Jesus baby.”
“I’m sorry Jagi. I tried to get your attention but you were so engrossed in your book that you didn’t hear me.” “Sorry baby, it’s a really good book.” “How has your day been?” “It’s been quite eventful.” “Why do you say that?” he questions as he sits down beside me.
“Um, well I guess there really is no easy way to tell you this.” “What is it baby, you’re starting to worry me.” “I’m pregnant.” “What?” “I’m pregnant, Jinnie.”
“Really?!”
“Yes. I wanted to tell you sooner rather than later, so that we could talk about what we wanted to do. But I want you to know that whether or not you decide to stay, I’m keeping the baby and I’m going to raise him or her.” “You think I’d leave you to do this on your own?” he looks at me, highly offended.
“I don’t know Jinnie, you are doing amazing in your career right now and I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize that.”
“Jagi, I’d never leave you to raise a baby on your own. It might be hard but I will do whatever I need to, to be by your side through this. Because I want this baby with you.” “You want the baby?”
“Of course I do. I know we haven’t been in a relationship for very long but y/n I have loved you for years, I have always wanted children with you. Up until two months ago I never thought that I’d ever get to have you as my girlfriend and now knowing that you are carrying my child, it’s the best news that I could ever get.” “You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that Jinnie. I was really nervous to tell you but I knew that you deserved to know.” “I’m glad that you told me.” He pulled me into him, holding me close to him while resting his hand on my nonexistent baby bump.
“I was really scared that I was going to have to do this on my own.”
“Never Jagi, never.”
That night as we lay in bed, not even talking, just cuddling together, we enjoyed each other's presence and the presence of the new life that we are bringing into the world together. We don’t know what the future truly holds for us but we know that as long as we are together we can get through whatever might come our way.
Two Months Later:
It’s been four months since that fateful night, things have been amazing between us and I couldn’t have asked for a better partner to have this baby with. We still haven’t told any of his members due to the fact that we are honestly both scared of how they might react. We might send Chan into an early grave with the fact that Hyunjin is having a kid at this point in their career. But we both know that as I continue to get bigger, as the baby continues to grow we need to tell him, before he finds out on his own from seeing the baby bump. He spends more nights at my apartment than he does at the dorms, thankfully Changbin just chalks it up to the fact that it’s a new relationship and we want to spend as much time together as we can. When Hyunjin gets home that night I know that I need to talk to him about telling Chan.
“Hey Jinnie, can we talk once you get settled in?” “Sure Jagi, is everything ok? Is there something wrong with the baby?”” “Yes, yes everything is fine and no there’s nothing wrong with the baby.” “Oh good. Let me change and then we can talk.” It doesn't take him long to change and before I know it he’s back in the living room, sitting across from me.
“What did you want to talk about Jagi?”
“I’m already four months pregnant, and it’s getting harder to hide the bump. I think that we should tell Chan and maybe the other boys?” “I think that you’re right. I know he won’t be too happy but at the end of the day he is my leader and he does need to know. Do you want to tell just Chan first or would you like to tell all of the boys at the same time?” “I think that it would be easier to tell them all at the same time, don’t you think?” “I think that would be smart, I could invite them over for dinner tomorrow night. Do we want to cook or order take out?”
“I think with how stressful tomorrow is going to be, I think that it would be best to order take out.” “I can order it when I’m leaving work tomorrow and pick it up on my way over.” “Thank you baby.”
“Of course Jagi, I want to make this as easy as possible for you.”
While I finished preparing our dinner Hyunjin went and texted the boys to let them know that he needed them to come over for dinner tomorrow. I soon got a text from Chan asking if everything was alright, he was worried because of what Hyunjin had said in his text. Hyunjin was so in his head that he had made the text sound ominous and like there was something wrong. I just shook my head at the poor man and texted Chan back letting him know that everything was fine, just that there was something we wanted to tell everyone and it was easier to tell them all at once.
The Next Night:
Hyunjin was on his way home, the boys said they would be over just a little later so that we had time to get everything prepared. They didn’t want to all show up at the same time and overwhelm us. I was thankful that they were giving us time so that I could mentally prepare myself a little bit more for any outcome that might happen. We got so caught up in each other that we didn’t hear the knocks on the door until whoever was here was basically pounding on the door. While Hyunjin set the food and plates out, I went to let the boys in.
“Sorry boys, didn’t mean to keep you waiting.” I expected there to only be a few of the boys but to my surprise everyone was here.
“No worries, Noona.” Innie responds as he and the rest of the boys make their way into my apartment.
“What’s the occasion? Why are we all here? Not that I mind free food.” Changbin questions, giving me a quick hug as he passes by.
“Jinnie and I have something we wanted to tell everyone, but we didn’t want to do it over the phone. So we figured what better way to do it than at a family dinner, plus me.” “Who are you kidding y/nnie, you’re part of our family.” Chan seems surprised by my comment of not being part of the skz family but doesn’t add anything more.
“Jinnie is in the dining room, the food should be all ready. I’m sure you boys are hungry after your busy schedules today.” “We are always hungry, especially Changbin.” Seungmin makes a jab at Changbin, trying to escape Changbins manhandling by hiding behind Chan but Chan moves out of the way at the last second.
“Go eat, you goof balls.”
After making sure that everyone had gotten an adequate amount of food and was thoroughly stuffed, Jinnie and I looked at each other, having a silent conversation knowing that now was better than ever to tell the boys about my pregnancy.
“Boys, before you go into your respective food coma’s there’s something that we want to tell you.” I add in a joke, trying to lighten the mood and ease my nerves.
“Is everything ok?” Channie asks, looking at Hyunjin and I with curious eyes.
“Yes, everything is ok but it’s a pretty serious matter.” Hyunjin answered for me, knowing that my anxiety surrounding telling them was already pretty high.
“Alright, we are all ears.” Minho responds, adding into the conversation finally. Hyunjin turns to me, looking for my permission to still tell them, I gently nod to him that it’s ok.
“Y/n is pregnant. And the baby is mine.” “Wait what!? You guys are having a baby?” Felix questions, making sure he heard Hyunjin correctly.
“Yes, we are. Y/n is currently four months pregnant.”
“That would mean that she got pregnant before you guys got together officially.” Minho adds to the conversation.
“I know and I know what you might be thinking, but the baby is mine. I won’t go into the details but I promise we know that the baby is mine.” “As long as you are sure. No offense y/n, we love you but you also know how many pregnancy allegations he gets every year.” Minho responds.
“I do know Minho, and I appreciate the fact that you are looking out for him but I can 100 percent guarantee that this baby is Hyunjins. He’s the only person I have been with in over three years.” “Hyunjin, y/n can I talk to you two in private please.” Chan asks, standing up from his chair. He looks upset and that worries me.
“Of course Channie. We can talk in my bedroom, that’s the only private place in this apartment.”
Hyunjin and I walk to my bedroom with Chan following us. I know that he isn’t happy about the circumstances but I hope that he will still support us and understand that we want this baby. Out of all the member’s reactions, his was the one that I was the most worried about, I knew that as the leader he would have the most worries about what this could mean for the group. I don’t think that either of us were prepared for how upset he would be while still being so supportive.
“What on earth were the two of you thinking?” Chan angrily asks as soon as he knows that we are alone.
“We didn’t mean for it to happen Chan, it was an accident.” Hyunjin replies, subtly stepping forward and in front of me, putting himself between me and Chan’s anger.
“Why did you wait four months to tell me about this, you should have told me as soon as you found out. This is the kind of thing that I need to know as your leader Hyunjin.” “Chan, it wasn’t his fault. I was the one who told him to wait to tell anyone, he was just following what I asked.”
“I get that you might have been scared but do you understand what kind of position that you put me in?”
“We truly didn’t mean to Chan, if you need someone to put the blame on, put it on me. I was the one who told him to wait, the blame should be on me.”
“What! No y/n, if the blame isn’t on me then it would be on the both of us. I chose to listen and not say anything, that’s on me.”
“We’ll need to talk to management and the CEO.” “We know, but we wanted to tell you first.” “I appreciate that but you put me in a hard spot. I’ll support you no matter what but you cannot let this affect your career or the group.” “I understand.”
Both Hyunjin and I felt bad about putting Chan in a hard place, we didn’t mean to and we didn’t think about how this might affect him. We were both thankful that the boys were so supportive of the whole situation, letting us know that if we needed anything to just let them know. They wanted to make this pregnancy as easy as possible.
Two Months Later:
The first month after we had told the boys things between Hyunjin and I were great, he was so supportive and so sweet about everything. Bringing me anything that I could want or need, even if I didn’t ask for it. But around a month ago things had slowly started to change, he slowly started becoming more distant and cold towards me. Without his usual support it made things harder to manage, I knew that he was stressed from work. The company hadn’t taken the news of my pregnancy the greatest but at the end of the day they said that as long as it didn’t affect his work and the group they would be supportive. Every time that I try to talk to him about what’s been going on he always says that nothings wrong and to not worry about it. I wanted to try and talk to him again, but any time he gets home goes to his art studio that I set up for him so he’d have a place to relax here. I knew I needed to talk to him soon, especially with the baby coming in a few months.
I wanted to talk to him tonight at dinner but when he came home he completely ignored me and went straight to his art studio. It hurt that he didn’t even acknowledge me, I knew he was stressed but that still wasn’t an excuse for ignoring me. I was slightly nervous to talk to him but I knew that it needed to be done.
“Hey Jinnie, I know it’s your studio time but can we please talk.” I try to get his attention but he continues to ignore me.
“Jinnie, please.” I try again.
“Can you leave me alone? I came in here for a reason.” “We really need to talk though.”
“God damn it y/n, leave me alone. What part of leave me alone can you not fucking understand.” “Hyunjin, what is going on with you? Why are you being like this?” “Did it ever cross your mind that maybe I don’t want to see you, that you fucking annoy the shit out of me. You always want something from me, whether it be physical or just my fucking attention.”
“You don’t mean that.” I say, hoping that what he said isn’t true.
“I do, I really fucking do. You are so fucking clingy y/n, the only reason that I still come over is because I know that if I didn’t you’d throw a fucking hissy fit and I can’t deal with that. But my god y/n, I knew you were clingy when we were friends but fuck you are so much worse. I wish we never slept together and I wish that we weren’t having this fucking baby.”
“Hyunjin, you’re just stressed.”
“No, I’m really not. I wish we never slept together and I wish that we were never having a baby. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t have this baby, especially not with you.”
“Hyunjin.”
“Stop being so fucking clingy and leave me the fuck alone y/n. Fucking leave me alone.” “Hyunjin, you're scaring me. I know I can be clingy sometimes but I can change. I swear I can change.”
“Just fuck off y/n, I don’t want you and I sure as hell don’t want that fucking baby. It has done nothing but caused me issues.”
I don’t recognize the man in front of me, he isn’t the man that I love and the man that I am supposed to be having a baby with. I don’t even know what to say to him, how do I respond to the fact that he doesn’t want to have a kid with me anymore. What changed, why does he no longer want this? I don’t know what to do so I text Chan, seeing if he can talk to Hyunjin, maybe change his mind. He thankfully would be able to come over now and help me out.
“Chan is coming over.” “Leave me alone y/n. Why are you even still here?”
“This is my apartment Hyunjin, I’m not going to leave.”
“God dammit y/n, I don’t know why I fucking slept with you.” He angrily shoves past me, walking out of the apartment.
I just sit on the couch, not even knowing what to do or say. I love him and it’s obvious that he doesn’t love me anymore. If he did, he would never say these things to me. When Chan gets here, he just walks in and when he sees me sitting on the couch crying, he knows that things went wrong. He does his best to support me but I couldn’t focus on anything.
“Y/n, I need you to calm down. Focus on your breathing, for the baby please.”
“He doesn’t love me anymore, he doesn’t want this baby Chan.” “I don’t know why, but I know that what he said isn’t true y/n. He loves you and he wants this baby with you.” “He doesn’t, not anymore.”
“I promise y/n, I know that he loves you and this baby.”
Chan tries to get me to calm down the best that he can and once I’m calm enough that he could confidently leave me alone. After he left, I cried myself to sleep, knowing that I would have to raise this baby by myself. When I thought that I would have the support of Hyunjin, I no longer have that and I don’t know if I will have the support of the boys. I am so tired that the moment my head hits my pillow, I am out like a light. I don’t know what will happen between Hyunjin and I, he was everything to me and apparently I was nothing to him.
Two Months Later:
These last two months of my pregnancy without Hyunjin by my side have been the hardest two months of my life. Chan has been doing his best to be there for me but he’s caught between a rock and a hard place. He wants to be there for both Hyunjin and I and he doesn’t know what to do. I don’t want to put him in this position, he shouldn’t have to be in this position but it’s hard. Even with his support I feel like I am completely alone in this, they were his friends before mine and I know that at the end of the day they will choose him if it comes down to it.
I’m trying to get through some of my daily chores but the baby is really active and it’s honestly pretty painful. I decided that I wanted to keep it a surprise until the birth, I had wanted to find out the gender with Hyunjin but I know he doesn’t want anything to do with this pregnancy. The day that he walked out was the last day that I heard from him, Chan tried to keep me updated but after a while I asked that he not update me on him anymore.
As I was doing the last of my chores I felt an immense pain in my stomach, the kind that wasn’t the baby kicking. It knocked the wind out of me and I could hardly breathe, I knew that this kind of pain wasn’t normal. When I looked down at my bump, I noticed that the floor beneath me had drips of blood and it was slowly getting to be more and more. I was slowly panicking more and more because I knew that this amount of blood was not normal. I knew that I should have called the hospital but I was panicking and wanted comfort. I wanted to call Hyunjin, but I knew that I couldn’t, instead I called Chan. He thankfully picks up on the third ring.
“Channie, somethings wrong. Chan I’m scared.”
“Um, Chan’s in the recording booth.” I knew that voice, it’s a voice I haven’t heard in two months.
“Fuck, get him please. There’s too much blood, something is wrong.”
“Wait blood? What do you mean by blood?” “Get Channie please, I can’t do this on my own. Something’s wrong with my baby.” I say in full panic, not even really listening to him.
“Fuck, ok.”
Hyunjin’s POV:
I didn’t mean to, I knew that I shouldn’t have but when I saw that Chan’s phone was ringing with y/n’s name I didn’t think before picking up. The moment that she said that there was blood, I panicked and I knew I had no right to be worried. I lost that right when I snapped at her two months ago, when I said that I didn’t want this baby but that wasn’t true. I was stressed and overworking myself and I know that’s no excuse but every day since it’s happened I have regretted it. But I knew that I couldn’t take those words back, no matter how badly I wished that I could. One minute she was panicking, talking about how she needed Chan and that something was wrong with the baby and the next moment she was silent.
“Han, Changbin, save whatever recordings you have. Y/n needs Chan.”
“Is she ok?” Han asks, worried about his friend.
“No, she was bleeding and panicking and now the line is silent.”
“Shit, ok. You get Chan and get to the hospital, I will call an ambulance to her apartment.” Changbin says as he saves their work, Chan looks confused as the recording cuts off.
“Why’d the recording stop?” “Something is wrong with y/n.” I say, panicked as he comes out.
“Shit, what’s wrong? Is it the baby?” He asks as he throws on his coat and heads to the door.
“I think it’s both. Chan I know I fucked up but please let me come with, I’ll stay out of the way and she doesn’t have to know that I am there.”
“I can’t talk about this right now Hyunjin so if you are coming, hurry your ass up and let's go.”
I don’t argue, I shut up and follow him. I know that I fucked up, big time but I want to try and repair my relationship with her. Even if we just become friends again, I should have never treated her this way, I should have never abandoned her when she needed me most, when she needed my support with the baby. Why was I so stupid and let the panic control me? I love her and she believes that I don’t, that I don’t love her or our baby. It’s so far from the truth, I love her and this baby so much but I was a fucking coward who took the easy way out instead of talking to her about my fears and in turn I missed everything.
At the Hospital:
Chan doesn’t even check to make sure that I’m following him, he was serious about the fact that he cannot deal with this right now. His main concern right now is y/n and not making sure that my dumb ass is following him. I rush after him, letting him do all of the talking with the nurses and doctors, knowing that he is the one that needs to do this even though I want to. I have to trust that everything will be ok, that the baby and y/n are ok.
“Are you friends or family of y/n?” the doctor asks.
“We are family.” Chan responds.
“Alright, let's go sit down. This won’t be easy to hear.” “Is she ok?” I ask, panicked.
“Hyunjin, sit down and shut up.” Chan snaps, I know that he is worried about his friend and he didn’t mean to snap.
“She is stable but she isn’t out of the woods yet.”
“What happened? She was saying that there was blood, that’s not normal is it?” Chan asks, trying to figure out what happened.
“Spotting throughout pregnancy is normal, however the amount of bleeding that she experienced is not. Whoever called the ambulance called at the right time, if they had brought her in any later I don’t know if mother and child would have both been saved.” The doctor answers.
“The baby is ok?” I ask, not caring that Chan told me to be quiet.
“You are?” The doctor questions, not sure if it’s ok to tell me the answer.
“He’s the idiotic father.”
“Yes, the baby is ok. We got her out in time, she’s up in the nursery.”
“It’s a baby girl? I have a daughter?”
“A healthy baby girl, yes. She came early but she was healthy.” “What happened with y/n, why was she bleeding?” Chan asks, worried about y/n.
“Right, when she was brought in she had severe vaginal bleeding. Upon further inspection we discovered that she had placental abruption.” The doctor explains.
“Placental abruption? What is that?” I ask, knowing that it’s not something good.
“It’s where the placenta prematurely separates from the uterine wall. It causes a lack of oxygen and nutrients to the baby, in y/n’s case she had severe bleeding.”
“Is there a specific reason that this happened?” Chan asks.
“It can happen for multiple reasons, but in y/n’s case the reason is unknown. She is still asleep in recovery. She will have to be in the ICU for a few days to make sure that there isn’t any more bleeding, after that she will stay for another week for observation before going home. When she is home she will need help, she won’t be able to lift the baby until the stitches come out. Someone will need to stay with her and the baby 24/7 until then.”
“Thank you doctor, can we go see her?” Chan asks.
“Yes, and if you would like to see the baby just let the nurses know.”
“Um, doctor. What do we tell the nurses to see the baby?” I ask, for some reason nervous about the answer.
“Just tell them that you would like to see the l/n baby.”
“Thank you.”
I silently follow Chan up to her room, I don’t even know what to say. Y/n had major bleeding and she doesn’t even know that she, we have a daughter. I just hope and pray that after some much needed groveling she will let me be in my daughter's life, even if I don’t deserve it. Fuck how could I have been so stupid, how could I have left her when I still loved her. I never stopped loving her and I never will, and if someday she takes me back I will forever be thankful and if she doesn’t I will be thankful for the time that I did get to spend with her.
Your POV:
I don’t know what happened, one minute I was awake and talking to him. And the next I was waking up in a hospital room, my immediate thought was my baby, when I went to feel them I noticed that my belly was squishy. My baby was gone, I had lost the baby. I began panicking, tears forming in my eyes as I thought about the fact that I had lost the last piece of Hyunjin that I had. I may be upset with him, but I still loved him and I didn’t want to lose the baby. In my panic I didn’t notice that Chan had been in my hospital room, when he noticed that I was panicking he rushed over to me.
“Shh, calm down. It’s ok.” “I lost the baby, I lost the last piece of him that I had.” “Y/nnie, the baby is ok. Your baby is alive and well.”
“Channie, please don’t lie to me.” “I’m not, I promise.” His words do little to soothe me.
“Channie, please.”
“I’ll have the nurse bring them in. They’ll want to meet their mama.” “You aren’t lying? They’re really ok?”
“They are perfectly ok, they came early but were still ok.”
Chan let the nurse know that we wanted to see my baby, she said that she would bring her down to us. Hearing her say that I had a baby girl brought another round of tears to my eyes, I always imagined that I would be a girl mom and now knowing that I have a baby girl, I couldn’t be happier. But in the back of my mind, I wish that Hyunjin was here, god I wish that I could forget about him but I love him and have loved him for years, I carried his child for nine months almost so how could I not wish he was here?
“Channie, has anyone let Hyunjin know that the baby came?”
“Please don’t be mad.”
“What? Why would I be mad?”
“He came with me to the hospital, he was there when the doctor told us that it was a baby girl. He’s actually been here the entire time, hasn’t left since you were admitted three days ago.”
“What? Why, why would he stay?” “Y/n, I don’t know what he was thinking or why he did what he did but I can promise you that he regrets it. That man is so in love with you, he about lost it when he thought that you had died.” “Why, why would he say these things to me then?”
“Only he can answer that. What I do know is that he has requested an extended hiatus so that he can be there for you and the baby should you need or want him there.” “He did what?!”
“He did it the same night you were brought in.”
“Where is he?”
“He’s up in the nursery with the baby.”
“Can you have him come in here?”
“If that is what you want, yes.” “I need to talk to him.” He doesn’t question why, and thankfully I don’t have to explain why I want to talk to him. When the nurse comes down with the baby, while I hold her and meet her Chan is going to let me talk to him.
“Chan said that you wanted to talk to me.” Hyunjin said, peeking his head into the room.
“Yes, I do.” I say not looking at him.
“Is everything ok?”
“Why are you taking an extended hiatus?”
“Look, I know I fucked up, I’ll admit that. I was stressed and overworked but that isn’t an excuse and I know that. I want to do my best to try and make it up to you, I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness but selfishly I am asking if I can work to gain it.” “I don’t know Hyunjin, you really hurt me. How can I expect you to be there for me when you weren’t when I really needed you?’
“There hasn’t been a day that I haven’t regretted what I said to you, I was an idiot and if I could turn back time and go back to that day and change what I did, I would. But I can’t, so I am here begging for another chance to earn your trust and prove to you that I can be both reliable for you and our daughter. Even if I have you as just my friend, that is better than not having you in my life at all.” “You have no romantic expectations?”
“None at all. I just want to have you in my life again, I miss our conversations, our late night laughs and our movie nights.” “Prove to me that I can rely on you and maybe I will forgive you Hyunjin. Help me with her for the next two months and we will go from there.”
“Anything y/n, anything you need.”
Six Months Later:
I had told Hyunjin that he had two months to prove to me that he was serious and during those two months, he went above and beyond to show me he was serious. He stayed at my apartment with me, staying in the nursery most nights with Dae. I expected that some nights he would have me help with night feedings but to my surprise he fully took over the night feedings and only woke me up when I needed to pump. I never thought that he would be here to help me, but having him here during the early stages of having her home was extremely helpful. As I watched him with her, I couldn’t help but remember why and how much I loved him. Even after everything I still loved him, even though I shouldn’t. He never tried to be anything other than her father and a friend to me. But god, I miss him and want nothing more than to have him back. I was so in my head that I didn’t notice he was trying to talk to me until he waved his hand in front of me.
“What’s goin on in that head of yours?”
“Huh?”
“You zoned out on me, are you feeling ok?” “I’m ok. I really appreciate you being here to help me. But don’t you want to go back to work?”
“Not until you are ready to handle Dae on your own.”
“Don’t you want your old life back, the one where you had no worries?” “No, no I don’t. I’m happy with the life that I have now. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” “Why? Before you had no responsibility and now you have so much?” “Y/n, when I said that I didn’t want her, it wasn’t true. At no point was it ever true that I never wanted our daughter. And God I hate myself for what I said and did to you, you never ever deserved that and I will forever work to prove to you how sorry I am.”
“God, it’s so hard Hyunjin.” “What is? Are you ok?” “No, I’m not. It’s hard wanting to be with you romantically after watching you with Dae, but remembering all the things that you said.” my eyes begin to tear up.
“Y/n, you have no idea how sorry I am for everything. I wish I could turn back time, but I can’t. I want you to know that I never stopped loving you.” He reaches for me but at the last second hesitates.
“Why, why would you say those things if you didn’t mean them?”
“I don’t know. I truly don’t know, I wish that I did know why I said those things but I don’t. But I want you to know that until my soul no longer roams this earth I will always love you and I will always love our daughter.” “Hyunjin, you can’t just say stuff like that.”
“It’s the truth y/n. I will always love you, even after we are no longer breathing.” “How can I trust that you won’t break me again.”
“You can’t, not fully but I will never treat you that way again ever. The look of heartbreak and devastation on your face broke me and if I could have I would slap my past self so hard that some sense was knocked into me.”
“I’m scared Hyunjin.”
“I know, I’m scared too. But I will never treat you that way again.” “God please do not make me regret this, you get one chance. Prove to me that you are sorry and mean what you say.”
“I will do anything.” “Me telling you what you have to do, defeats the purpose.”
Over the next few weeks and then the next few months, Hyunjin works to prove to me that he is sorry and every day I feel how much he truly meant it when he said that he was sorry. We started off slow, and slowly worked our way back into possibly being more than friends. I never gave him the false hope that there would be a relationship at the end of the day but over time he showed me that he would be happy with whatever he got, whether that be friends or a relationship.
Three months after our talk he and I had sat down together, watching a movie before both of us headed to bed. Neither of us wanted to talk but wanted to just be in each other's presence, through the baby monitor we heard Dae cry out. I went to get up but he beat me to it, telling me to sit and relax. He’d take care of her, every day I could see the love that he had for her and every day it made my heart swell with love. He loved her so much and she had him wrapped around her tiny finger. I know he told me to sit back and relax but I couldn’t help myself. I followed him down the hallway and watched as he fed and burped her, rocking her and singing until she fell back asleep. When he saw me in the doorway he sent a small smile, it was easy to smile back.
“I thought I said to stay back in the living room?”
“I know but I couldn’t help myself, you’re so good with her.” I watch as he walks towards me, out into the hallway and shutting her door.
“You should relax, you deserve it.”
“For what? You’ve done everything for her today?”
“You carried her for nine months y/n, I’m more than happy to help.” he walks up to me, expecting me to move back into the living room.
“You are great with her, I hope you realize that.”
“You are great with her as well y/n.”
“She adores you Hyunjin, when she is unconsolable you are the only one able to calm her down.” “She adores you y/n, trust me.” He pulls me into a hug, not giving me the chance to argue with him.
I don’t argue with him, knowing that it’s pointless. As he hugs me, I realize that I’ve missed this so much and being back in his arms felt amazing. Before I can even think about it, I slightly pull back from him, he gives me a questioning look but before I can even think of an answer I lightly press my lips to his. He stands there stunned for a moment before his brain kicks back into gear and kisses me back, the kiss isn’t long but it’s full of unsaid emotions and months worth of longing. When we pull back, he rests his forehead on mine.
“What was that for?”
“I wasn’t thinking. But I don’t regret it.” “I don’t either. Y/n, I miss you so much, more than I can even express with words.”
“I’m terrified, but I want to try again. I want to be with you.” “Y/n, I want that, more than anything but are you sure?” “Yes, I want to try a relationship again.” He doesn't give me an answer, instead he presses his lips to mine again. Kissing him felt like a breath of fresh air, like something I didn’t know I was missing until I had it again.
“Jinnie, I want you to sleep in my room tonight. No funny business, I just miss being in your arms.” “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“Alright, go get changed, I’ll turn the tv off and lock up.” He presses a kiss to my forehead.
That night, I fell asleep in his arms and it felt like I was finally home. I knew that the path we had ahead of us wouldn’t be easy but if we had each other and our daughter I knew that everything would work out the way that it was supposed to. Hyunjin knew that he still had a lot to make up for, but every day he continued to show me how sorry he was and every day I got to see him grow as an amazing person and an even more amazing father. I loved him more than anything, well not more than our daughter but he meant so much to me and I was happy to finally have him back in my life.
Bang Chan | Lee Know | Seo Changbin | Han Jisung | Lee Felix | Kim Seungmin | Yang Jeongin
@vietjeb @riri53 @expired-vibes
#stray kids imagines#stray kids angst#hwang hyunjin angst#hwang hyunjin imagines#hwang hyunjin onehsot#hwang hyunjin x reader#hyunjin angst#hyunjin fluff#hyunjin imagines#hyunjin scenarios#hyunjin x y/n#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin x you
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I miss knb and I wanted to write something for aomine :’) I’ve never written for him and it’s been a while since I’ve watched the show, so forgive me if you feel that his characterization is a bit off. hello from late january cause that’s when I’m queuing this 👋🏻
gn!reader, no physical descriptions. lots and lots and lots of fluffy pet names bc that’s the focus of the drabble. he calls you shnookums once just to annoy you bc he’s a little shit. that’s a warning in itself tbh. mentions of alcohol/drunk character. characters written as adults, not high schoolers.
aomine has specific nicknames for you depending on the situation you find yourselves in.
he reserves “babe” or some shortened variation of your name for when you’re in public.
it’s quick, it’s casual, and it doesn’t get him a lecture on why it’s not funny to very loudly address you as “shnookums” when you get separated at the grocery store.
(though in his defence, he thought it worked wonders. you were back at his side within seconds after straying too far on accident with a half embarrassed, half pissed off look on your face. he thought it was hilarious.)
~~~
he calls you “baby” when he greets you after a long day at work. when he’s picking you up from your classes. normally only in your presence, because he doesn’t need the teasing remarks about how soft he’s become from his teammates.
not that he really cares at the end of the day- he’ll call you what he wants to call you (provided you also like it, of course) but there’s something less casual about it that makes him want to keep it just for you.
that “something” being the time you got drunk and offhandedly mentioned loving the way it sounds in his voice. he now gets to enjoy the small, barely noticeable uptick of your lips whenever he opts for it. no one else gets to see that.
he’ll help you with your coat and press a kiss to your hairline, murmuring a soft “hey baby, missed you today”.
it’s probably the most common of the names he uses on you out of all the available options.
~~~
he saves the saccharine pet names for when he knows you’re not feeling your best. whether you’re mentally drained, physically exhausted or sick to any degree, there’s never not a time when hearing him be sickeningly sweet with you doesn’t ease the pain.
“need anything else, sweetheart?”
“how are you feeling, gorgeous?”
“yeah, we can cuddle, doll, c’mere.”
these are also the times he plays up the compliments (more than usual).
“even when you’re sick, you’re still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. don’t let it get to your head, though. or do- I know how to deal with that just fine, too.”
~~~
he doesn’t have one set nickname for you when you visit him at practice, but when you watch him play in an official game?
as long as you’ve known him, he’s never believed in luck- he got himself to where he is with his skills, luck had nothing to do with it.
so it surprises you the first time he refers to you as his good luck charm. it’s not said in some grand gesture, not brought up in those fluff promotional interviews when reporters ask him if he has one.
it’s whispered quietly into your ear before he jogs onto the court.
a murmured thank you against your lips as soon as he’s running off again, high on a win, straight to you.
you ask him about it one day and he just shrugs. “everything is different now. I play better when I know you’re watching, it’s energizing in a way I’ve never felt before. you’re right, I still don’t believe in luck, but somehow I was able to find you. and I don’t know if I would call that luck, either, but until I find a better way to explain it you’re just gonna have to put up with that title a bit longer.”
so you do, without complaints, because it’s cute trying to watch him convey his feelings honestly and still in a very aomine way.
~~~
your absolute favourite nickname that he’s given you, though? angel.
you’re his angel.
the title is first appointed when you pick him up one night from a bar after celebrating with his team. his usually brooding expression visibly lights up when he sees you and he makes his way over. it’s been a while since he’s been this drunk, so it makes you laugh when he stumbles over and throws an arm around your shoulders.
“what a sweetheart, you really came to pick me up?”
you scoff and try to get him into the car, waving at his teammates who were staying with him until you got there. “what, baby, you thought I wouldn’t?”
he shrugs with an absentminded grin. “it’s just nice to have a… battle angel or whatever that term is. I dunno what it is.”
you can’t help but laugh. “you mean a guardian angel?”
“same thing, you knew what I meant!” his words are slurred and he’s now leaning his entire body weight against you.
“oh you are so wasted, daiki, let’s get you home.”
and it’s whispered again at home as he’s falling asleep, “my angel… thank you for taking care of me tonight.”
your heart squeezes.
now it’s reserved for only the most intimate of moments with him- he doesn’t want to overuse the name and risk it losing its meaning.
because it does hold a deeper, unspoken meaning between the two of you.
after a long time apart because of his away games? after he wins an important match? loses a match and he’s thankful you’re there with him? you get a promotion at work? you pass a difficult class with flying colours? all situations where he’d call you angel.
he has a full arsenal of names for you, clearly, and you love every single one of them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
this feels a bit messy. even after editing, I feel like the quality went down a bit, so we’ll see if I end up posting it. but I love him a lot and I’ve been rewatching knb, so I needed to do something for him to keep the brainrot at bay.
tagging: @dira333
#aomine x reader#aomine daiki x reader#aomine x reader fluff#daiki aomine x reader#aomine fluff#knb x reader#knb x reader fluff
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a bit hot

barça fem x teen!reader
request: here
A/N: yesterday i was in shambles trying to write this.. i keep getting sickness i write about 💀food poisoning next 😃
TW: Vomit, passing out, illness
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It all started with a small headache, it was one you could tolerate, probably just a bit of exhaustion and would go away once drinking water. The thing was though, it didn’t go away.
It was hot in Barcelona, 37° C hot. Water intake for everyone was high, and you were being made to drink extra water by not only the physios, but also your Captains.
Honestly, you thought everyone was feeling like this if you’d been drinking the most and still feeling headachy. You persevere though determined to not let a bit of pain decide how the training goes.
But when ignored, problems only get worse.
It only takes half an hour for your overall health to decline, and obviously people notice. How couldn’t they when it looked like you couldn’t even think straight.
Which is true. You don’t recognise what’s happening until Alexia is pulling you away and inside the air-conditioned room.
“Dios Mío. What are we going to do with you.” Is the first thing she says, putting you in the direct line of 18° coolness blasting. It isn’t enough though.
You feel yourself growing tired, your head dropping every few seconds.
“Hey, hey. Stay awake for me yeah?” Your captain asks you. The only thing you are capable of doing is groaning before ultimately passing out, falling into her chest.
- - - - -
When you wake up again, you’re in a different room. A fan blowing on you and a UV line dripping into your skin. Alexia is also there, who has been joined by Marta and Mapi.
You feel sick to your stomach, shutting your eyes in hopes of holding anything inside back. Conceal don’t feel right? That’s what Elsa says.
You hear footsteps cautiously approach, you don’t have to open your eyes to know it’s Alexia.
“Nena?” She whispers quietly, placing her hand on your still slightly warm skin. You shake your head, trying to suppress any indicators that you were about to throw up. She knows better, Mapi knows better, Marta knows better.
The other captain throws Alexia a puke bag who holds it in front of your mouth.
“Come on, I know you don’t want to but please. You’ll feel better.” You give into her and into yourself. Retching into the bag, making all the girls in the room cringe at the sound.
Once you’ve pulled yourself together, Alexia closes the bag and disposes it in a bin in the corner.
“Are you going to throw up again soon or no?” She asks, sparing a glance at the other two.
“I should be fine, thanks Ale.” Your voice is hoarse and slightly cracks.
“Ok, good.” She leans against the table you’re on thinking about what to say next. Marta beats her to it.
“Why didn’t you speak up about how ill you were? We would’ve brought you in sooner.” You sigh.
“Well I thought we were all going through that! I had been drinking more water than you guys yet I’m still the one who is plugged into a machine?”
“You have to promise to tell us next time ok?” Alexia asks, you nod.
“Bebita, I have Ingrid ready in the car when you feel well enough. The doctor said you could take the UV out when you wake up” You smile at the thought of getting into your bed at home.
“Ok, thanks Mapi.” She pats your leg smiling.
“We’ll talk about this another day ok? Go home, get rest. You are not going to be training in conditions like these over the next few days. Some investigators are looking into why this has happened so they might want to talk to you at some point.” She finishes curiously.
“Well, sounds fun. I wanna go home now.” Mapi nods, helping you stay up and walking toward the car where Ingrid is already situated.
- - - - -
When you get home you’re exhausted, hungry and sweaty.
“Come on elskling, I’ll run you a bath while Mapi gets you some light food. Then you can sleep for however long you need. Is that ok?” Ingrid says, pushing you inside.
“Mkay, thanks Ingrid.” She kisses your temple placing the training bags she was holding in her room before going to the bathroom to start a cool bath.
“I won’t make you anything warm, do you want a salad?” A salad does sound good, and refreshing.
“Sounds good.” She leads you to the bench, the cool countertop doing wonders against your warm skin.
She gets the salad ready rather fast, it’s not that big, but definitely enough that you won’t go to sleep uncomfortable.
Soon after eating your food, Ingrid comes back.
“Bath is ready when you are.”
You nod, legs still shaky so the couple helps you to the bathroom sitting you down.
“You’ll be ok?” Ingrid asks feeling your forehead, still cringing slightly.
“Yeah, I will. Thank you both… this means so much to me.”
“Don’t worry bebita, it’s the least we can do.” Mapi says smiling.
They both take your silence as a que to leave the room so they do. The bath relaxes you, and takes away most of the uncomfortable feelings inside.
When you’re done, you change into shorts and an old shirt, walking out slowly to the living room where Ingrid is reading a book and Mapi is playing with Bagheera.
Ingrid notices you first.
“Do you want medicine? Then you can sleep.”
“Yes please.” She gets up, going to medical cabinet pulling two paracetamol out and handing them to you with a glass of water.
“Drink.” You do as told and you finally let the exhaustion of the day come up to you. Before you realise what’s happening, Mapi has lifted you up and is taking you to your room.
“If you need anything, we’ll be here. Promise.” She whispers, putting you to bed. You smile up at her before falling into a peaceful slumber.
—————————————————
thanks for all the love and support guys, i hope that i can post the other fic tonight so you get 2 in one day 😘
#woso#woso community#woso x reader#woso fanfics#barcelona femeni#barca femeni#barcelona femeni x reader#barca femeni x reader
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Touch Tank
Tara Carpenter x Reader
One-shot
Summary: Tensions are high when you go over to the Carpenters' apartment after telling Tara you would fix their sink; Sam isn't exactly what you would call your 'biggest fan'
Warning(s): Swearing, Tara & R aren't together, & no pronouns used
Notes: Another work based off of Gilmore Girls! Currently re-watching it and I'm slowly inching towards s3 ep 19... I'm avoiding it like the plague (I wanna stay in literali bliss just a lil longer 😔)
4/7 for Seven Days of Christmas
You made the mistake of agreeing to fix Tara’s sink.
Somehow Tara roped you into agreeing. Plumbers were expensive, and with paying rent in New York while also paying for college, they were already on a tight budget. You offered them a cheaper price, and you honestly didn’t mind giving Tara a favor.
That was before you remembered Sam would be there too.
You have known Tara all of five months, and in that time you haven’t exactly left the best impression on her older sister. Sam has already caught you sneaking in ten times—you got lucky every other time—and it didn’t help that you had an attitude.
Tara wanted nothing more than for Sam to get to know you—to not just go off the you she made up in her head. So, when Sam found out you would be coming to fix their kitchen sink… she figured it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to give you another shot. Besides, she was doing this for Tara. She wasn’t sure as to why Tara was so persistent on it, but all she knows is that Tara wants you and her to get along.
—
You walk up the stairs to the shared apartment after getting buzzed in by Tara. Once you get to the door you knock and the door opens.
“Hey,” Tara greets.
“Hey back,” you reply. Tara moves to the side, letting you in. Once you’re inside you look at Tara once again before smiling to yourself.
“You’re very punctual,” she remarked—watching as your eyes wandered.
“Yeah, well, it was either this or more apartment hunting with Danny.”
“You’re moving?”
You shrugged, “I don’t know. Don’t really get the point—the apartment’s fine. He says there’s ‘interior damage’ or whatever. Nothing I can’t fix.”
“Who knows; a new place could be nice.”
“I guess. He’s kinda eyeing the vacant apartment that’s not too far from yours.”
“Really?”
“Yeah… not saying it’s a sure thing but if we do move, can you promise you won’t get sick of me?”
“Sick of that face? Never…” She gently pinched your cheek teasingly; heat rushed to your face.
“Did you change your hair?” You asked suddenly, changing the subject.
“What?”
“Your hair looks…different.”
“So segway’s not your thing, huh?”
“Is it?”
“Uh, no. I wear it like this a lot. Why?”
“Just…” You shrug, “Different.”
“Oh. Bad ‘different’?” She tugged on the hem of her shirt, suddenly feeling nervous for some reason.
You smirk, about to answer her question, but turn your head when you hear a noise coming from down the hall. It sounded like Sam yelling a curse before Tara looked back at you with a light chuckle.
“The sink hasn’t been putting her in the best mood,” she elaborates.
“She’s usually in a good mood?” You quip with raised eyebrows, tone laced in sarcasm. Tara scolds you with a look, causing you to back down. “Alright, alright.”
“This fucking sink is driving me insane–” Sam cuts herself off, stopping in her tracks when she sees you.
“Oh. Y/N. You’re here,” she says and you simply nod at her words. “Refreshing to see you use the front door for once…” She murmurs but you and Tara hear it. Tara scolds her with the same look she gave you just moments before.
“If you want there’s Dr. Pepper in the kitchen,” Sam reluctantly offered. You looked at Tara then at Sam before briefly nodding.
After a few seconds of silence, Sam clears her throat. “Okay, well, everything’s in the kitchen if you want to get started. The toolbox, and gloves are all there. If you need anything else just call one of us.”
Tara looks between you and Sam before speaking up, “Come on, I’ll show you.” She extends her hand, gesturing to the direction of the kitchen. You begin to walk in that direction but before Tara follows behind, she gives Sam a look.
“I’m trying,” Sam huffed.
“Well keep it up pleasee,” Tara requested as she walked away to the kitchen.
By the time she was there, you were already setting up. “Question,” She states.
“Yes?” You put the pair of gloves in your back pocket, looking over at Tara.
“You come over. You seem to have a very firm grasp of the English language. You put together several full sentences—even using a couple of words that contain two or more syllables. And then my sister appears, and suddenly we need a thought bubble over your head to understand what you’re thinking. Can you tell me why that is?”
You looked down at the four-way silicone key in your hand before looking at Tara again with a response. “The verbal thing comes and goes.”
Tara sighed, lightly rolling her eyes. “I would really appreciate it if you would try to get along with my sister.”
“I took the Dr. Pepper,” you stated as a matter of factly.
She furrowed her eyebrows, “I know.”
“Personally, I think it’s a little crazy to put lemon in Dr. Pepper—buuuut I took it anyhow.” You reached for the bucket and rag as you heard Tara huff.
“Stop it.”
“Ooo, stern face,” you say as you lift the tool and bucket to place by the sink. Tara continues, following you as you crouched down by the sink.
“Look. I went out on a limb for you, trying to get my sister to give you the benefit of the doubt. Okay? So, I don’t think it would hurt you to try to be nice.”
You put down the wrench you had just picked up, now fully turned and standing to look at Tara as you spoke. “Why?” You simply asked, taking off your jacket.
“Why?” Tara mirrored.
“Yeah. Why?”
“Because she’s my sister—and she and Danny are dating.”
“So?” You tossed your jacket on top of a nearby chair.
“What do you mean ‘so’?” She asked incredulously; her eyebrows stayed furrowed.
“So, just because she’s your sister or Danny’s girlfriend doesn’t mean that I automatically have to get along with her,” you stated with pure conviction, rolling up your sleeves.
“Y/N, my sister is a great person. She’s also my best friend—so if you care about me at all you will take that into consideration,” Tara was now crossing her arms as she stood her ground. “And you will be mildly polite to her.”
You couldn’t help but smirk, looking her up and down before responding. “What makes you think I care about you?” Tara didn’t need eyes to know you were smirking and enjoying this way too much.
She blushes, looking down at the ground and shaking her head as she grows flustered. “I–I don’t mean care-care. Like—care. I mean if you like me at all—not like-like! I just meant that–” Tara stumbles over her words, tucking in a loose strand of hair behind her ear. You watch her with amusement, a soft smile grazing your face as you let out a light snort.
“If you think of me remotely as the sort of person you could occasionally stand to talk to then you will try to get along with my sister. That’s all.”
Your eyes never pulled from her once, only looking at her with fondness as you finally said something. “Okay,” you nod.
“Okay?”
“Can’t guarantee that it’ll work but I’ll try,” you confirm.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome…” You glance at the sink then back at Tara. “Should probably get to work.”
“Right. Sorry—go ahead.” She turns to walk away, looking at you one more time before leaving the kitchen. You crouch down by the sink again, not meeting her gaze but feeling it. She doesn’t see how you grin to yourself; your mind being plagued with thoughts of the younger Carpenter.
Guess it wouldn’t hurt to make an effort.
—
Later that night, you decided to stop by Tara’s window for a surprise visit. You looked at her for a few seconds—admiring how peaceful she looked—before lightly tapping on her window. She turned to look at the window, a grin grazing her face when her eyes meets yours.
She lifted the window with a smile as you looked up at her fondly. “Hey,” you finally said after the window fully opened, expression never faltering as you leaned your head against the window frame.
“Hey back,” she replied. “Didn’t you say something to Sam about not coming through the window anymore.” Tara heard from Sam that you managed to hold somewhat of a conversation with the older Carpenter, actually making an effort to try with her. No matter how awkward it might have been on your end, at least you tried.
“You talk about me with Sam?” You asked smugly.
She rolled her eyes with an infectious smile. “Just get inside.”
“I didn’t hear a no~” You say in a sing-song voice. Tara pulled you in by your sleeve, roughly, might you add. “Watch the shirt,” you complain while you’re pulled inside her room.
“Quirk it.”
“How gentle,” you sarcastically complimented; you dusted your pants off with your free hand, not commenting on how Tara still held a grip on your other arm.
“So,” Tara began as she sat on her bed—dragging you with her, “What are we watching tonight?”
“I can’t do Freaky Friday again.”
“Fine.”
“How about Cursed?” You inquired. Tara was leaning her back against your chest; she looked up at you with those beautiful brown eyes.
“That movie’s terrible.”
“One-hundred percent, but Milo Ventimiglia is in it.”
“Doesn’t he only have like six minutes of screen time?”
“But in it, nevertheless.”
“You drive a hard bargain… Get the laptop?”
You respond by reaching over to the night stand, grabbing her laptop. You hand it to her and she opens it on her lap.
Tara would never comment on how she was the only one who got this side of you—the gentle, kind, and considerate side. Well, when she wants to see you squirm she comments on it. But for now, she’ll keep it to it herself.
-----------
A/N: the urge to write a paper on how jess mariano is a truly misunderstood character grows each & each day...
(I got beef with star hallows. we leave it at that.)
#tara carpenter x reader#tara carpenter x y/n#tara carpenter x you#jenna ortega x you#tara carpenter x gn!reader#gender neutral reader#jenna ortega x reader#jenna ortega x y/n#jenna ortega#scream fanfic
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Perfume on the Shelf
Summary: You told him he had one more chance to cheat, and you were done. Warning him there would be no second chances, but he didn’t listen. Couldn’t believe you. He definitely didn’t think you’d run into his partner’s arms. Jack was always waiting on you to wise up. And now he’s going to show you just how hard soft love can be.
Pairings: Jack O'Malley X Reader
Rating: explicit
Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content, drinking, cheating, unprotected sex, PIV sex, hard sex, creampie, 18+ ONLY
Word Count: 3K
Moodboard Event
Jack O'Malley Masterlist
You didn’t need to say anything or cause a scene. You saw him with another woman. Again. Again he disappointed you. Again he lied to you. Again he chose someone that wasn’t you. You gave him too many chances, and you’re not even sure if it’s because of love, fear, or just fucking stupidity that caused you to stay.
You take a sip of your whiskey. Letting the amber liquid burn down your throat, and give you something to think about besides the way he looked as he pushed into her. Her obnoxious pornstar sounds that echoed out into your home. Yes, he paid for it, but you still lived there. You loved it there, but he tainted it for the last time. It just wasn’t worth the loss of your dignity.
You give the bar a little tap, and the bartender gives you a pitiful look. “Just fucking pour me another round.”
“You wanna talk about it?”
“Absolutely not,” why the hell would you want to tell a stranger your problems? And what were you supposed to say? My boyfriend that’s a hitman for hire cheats on me all the fucking time, and thinks he should be allowed to that because his job is stressful, and he needs to fuck. Of course you have a perfectly viable pussy that he never complained about, but new pussy just feels different. And he thinks that is justifying his actions to you.
Asshole.
Robert wasn’t a terrible guy, but he was far from being great, or even good, especially in a relationship. You let him use you because you ‘love’ him. You scoff hearing that word in your mouth. While you loved him it was one sided, and you’re beginning to think you didn’t even love him at all. Maybe the idea of him, and that just makes you feel sick. What idea of him? The fact that he wouldn’t hesitate to kill someone that crosses you? Where have you heard that line before?
You are just as bad as him no matter how you want to think about it. You couldn’t justify how seeing him punish a man that has wronged you made you feel. How you watched him end the life of people for you — for your safety. You know you’re a sicko, but you also know you won’t be disrespected, and you at least are loyal. It wasn’t worth it.
Maybe the cheating throughout your relationship hardened you each time, so that when it was time to break free it didn’t hurt. What hurts is your ego and the fact he trampled all over it. Asshole. Big fucking dick asshole. You hate him, and hate it worse that you allowed him that amount of freedom with your heart.
Maybe shame is a better word to describe things. You just feel numb. Not the sense of relief you thought you would feel but…nothing at all. You tap your finger on the bar, hoping to get a refill soon. You lift the final drink to your mouth, but a thick and heavy hand lays on yours tapping the table and you look to your right. Annoyed that someone had the audacity to stop you, and you glare at the man.
“I think you’ve had enough. She’s had enough,” he says, waving at the bartender.
“Don’t tell me what to do, Jack. You can fuck off, too.”
“Yeah, he told me you hadn’t made it home. I told him you probably did.”
Your eyes downcast to the scratched wood. This bar is nowhere you would have ever found yourself any other time. You didn’t want to be found though. Robert would look at the high end hotel bars. you wanted to be left alone to lick your wounds and wait for him to get an assignment so you can pack up your shit, and leave for good.
“You knew?”
“Knew that he’s always fucking someone? Yeah. You’re the stupid woman that kept making excuses for him. The one that believed him when he said that he wouldn’t ever do it again, and it would last maybe a couple of weeks. Sex was real good at home, but then…like I said last time, he’s insatiable. It’s not you, it really is him. The man has no business being in a relationship. And I told you that. Or did you forget? You thought your pussy could cure his whoring ways,” you snort, your eyes go glossy as you look to the wall of liquor bottles.
Every time he cheated, Jack told you that you would be better off without him. That he wasn’t going to change, and he hadn’t. He was still a man that was going to fuck who he wanted to fuck. “That’s not all you said to me.”
“Oh yeah? And what else did I say, sweetheart?” His foot wraps around the leg of your stool, and he pulls you dangerously close to his own. Placing you right in between his thighs as he leans forward, “Go on, tell me what I said to you.”
“You know,” you whisper, your hand absentmindedly placing on his thigh. You move the hand up, and pull it back down. Looking at his thick leg, he places his fingers on your chin, lifting your gaze to him. Tsking you as he shakes his head. “You know what you said.”
“And I need you to refresh my memory. I easily forget.”
You lean in too close. Your mouth is right at his ear, and you place your lips over the shell, “You told me I could get under you, and you could help me forget him.”
“And what do you suppose I meant by that?” His breath on your neck sends a chill up your spine, and heat pools to your core. You feel like a bitch in heat with how bad you want him to make you forget. You didn’t love Robert, and had no intentions of returning, or even staying here. But something about your goodbye being with Jack’s cock fucking into you sounds delicious.
“I think you meant you want to fuck me,” leaning back you watch as Jack’s pupils expand. Blowing wide with dark pools of lust, and blocking out the crystal blue of his eyes. What both of you are proposing should be forbidden, but you weren’t loyal to any man anymore. You want him. You want him raw and unhinged.
“I think you want to hear what I sound like when I come on your cock. You want to fuck me so good and hard I forget everything I saw tonight. You want me to cry from pleasure instead of betrayal. You want me to be your little slut tonight, and have my cunt milk your cock dry.”
Jack doesn’t respond with words, he lays down a hundred dollar bill and picks you up, throwing you on his shoulder. His eyes roll in the back of his head when he feels your pussy throbbing with a need to be filled. A need to be punished. Carrying you out of the bar before walking down the street.
“Where are we going?” you ask, giggling because being upside down with some whiskey in your system is making you loopy.
“Uh uh, stay with me. We’re going to a hotel. It’s just a block away.”
“You mean that crummy old motel?”
“Eh,” he shrugs the best he can. “It’s the best option right now. Plus, I know what the best room of the place is. They keep it nice and clean for me. Just trust me,” you didn’t care about trust, you just want Jack to fuck you so you can say a big fuck you to Robert. You hoped that Jack bragged about it. Took a picture of it, hell, record it. You didn’t care. That part of you is no longer there. You want Robert to feel as low as you do, while you moan out another man’s name.
Get to feel blissful for once. You’re an adult, and you have imagined being under, over, beside, upside down, and whatever position this man could come up with, with Jack. The man is attractive, and he’s not been subtle in asking you, more like begging you. You are just now in the right state of mind to receive his kind of attention.
He slams open the door, and slings you on the bed immediately. His hands paw at your pants as he tries to remove your clothes while you look around the room. This is too nice here. It’s bigger than the normal room. “Take your shirt off,” he tells you breathlessly.
His lips attach to your legs, creating a trail of desire all the way up before his sinful mouth is kissing over your drenched panties. “What is this place?”
“It’s my home. Stop talking.”
“You live here?”
“Yes,” he sighs, leaning back on his haunches, and you sit up off the bed watching him. “And I’m apparently a little rusty. I’m pulling out all the stops for you, kissing you over that stupid piece of fabric that you call panties. Moaning at the way you taste, and you’re just worried about my damn hotel.”
“Your hotel?” You didn’t know this about Jack. He’s full of surprises.
“And I’m only mildly offended that you made that gross comment about my crummy hotel, but the fact you’re ignoring my pinky that is only slightly rubbing over you is offensive,” you genuinely smile at him. There’s more to Jack than meets the eye. He really wants you to enjoy this moment. Not just seek revenge on your lying boyfriend, but see him. Pay attention to him, even though you haven’t exactly ignored him.
There’s a true sadness over his face, and you pull off your shirt. Reaching behind you to your bra, “You’re not trying to talk yourself out of sleeping with me this time?” You shake your head no. A grin spreads over your face as you let your bra drop into your lap, and he slings it behind him quickly.
Lifting your ass you shake your hips back and forth, removing your panties, and spread your legs wide. Dipping your fingers into your warmth, and you bring them back out. Stretching them wide, and watching as Jack stares at the webbing of your slick coated your fingers.
“Get undressed, Jack,” he does so enthusiastically. Nearly tripping as he tries to rid himself of his clothes, and that glorious cock springs free. Beads of precum shine in the low lighting, and his member twitches with excitement. Kneeling on the bed, he crawls in between your thighs, and you cover your cunt with your hands.
“Oh, come on!” It’s more silly than serious, but he’s adorable being animated.
“First, tell me, is this a one time thing? Or are we going to be seeing a lot of each other from now on?”
“Sugar, I only want you for sex,” no he doesn’t. A man doesn’t chase after a woman for years just for sex. But you want him to admit it to you. It could be all there is, or it could be that he wants to sneak around some more. Your bet is on the latter.
“Sure you do.”
“I’m being honest,” he smiles as he starts to lift your hands away. Holding his cock at the base he runs his blunt tip through your folds. Collecting your arousal, and he dips lower. Pushing just the tip in before he pulls out. “This is just a one time thing. Understand?”
“Then you better fuck me hard and good, so I don’t forget.”
“I’ll fuck you so deep that your body will be mesmerized by me. Crave me for all of eternity, and ruin you for other men.”
“If it’s just a one time thing, why would you do that?” He doesn’t answer. He just crashes into your warmth. So fast that the world spins on another axis, and your body lurches up the bed. You yelp as his cock whispers against your cervix. Eyes rolling in the back of your head as Jack settles into your warmth.
Giving your walls a chance to accommodate his thick girth, and your breathing to regulate again. “What was that you asked?”
“I said,” he pulls out of your pussy, crashing back in, balls deep. Jack’s sack bounces off your ass, and you forget what you were trying to convey. “I said that — oh my fuck!” He does this again. Stopping your line of thought every time. He is almost painfully deep, but your body pulls him closer. Wrapping your legs around his waist, and arching your back.
You want to feel him through your entire body. “I think you were trying to say something?”
“Just fuck me!”
“As you wish,” he drags himself out of you, and starts to piston back in. A brutal pace, and you can’t think of anything else, but the pleasure. The absolute perfect way that this man melts into your body just like you are the perfect fit for him. The bed slams against the wall, and you still need more. Maybe it’s just Jack.
The thought of only getting this one time, and never again is appalling. You need this everyday. You need to receive him multiple times a day. Have him filling you up, but in a weird way, worshiping you. Petting around your face, and giving you the sweetest chaste kisses while he splits you in two. He is demolishing you from the inside out, and you want him to.
You want him to take all that he needs, just so you can thank him for his services. Thrusting into you so hard that you feel bruises being formed at the apex of your thighs. You could get used to this kind of treatment. The treatment that you are the only thing that could ever matter to him. And you are the only one that could make him feel this way.
“Jack! Jack! Jaaaaaacck!”
“I know. And you’re going to take everything that I give you. Whenever I give it to you, you’re going to take it, and you’re going to tell me thank you. Okay?” You nod your head, words barely able to form on your lips, and you take it all.
Every stab into your body, you take it. Every mark he nips onto your neck, you take it. Every sharp pinch to your nipples, you take it. You take everything with fervor. You will take whatever this man gives you. Every bit of it. You’re ruined for other men sexually, if only…
“I’m going to count to three, and we’re going to come together. One,” you pout up at him. Biting on your lip as your walls start to flutter around his wide cock. This is going too fast. If you only get one chance, he should make it last for hours.
���Two,” he softly wipes his thumb over your forehead, removing the sweat that beads along your skin, and you whimper out his name. He is the devil for being too good at this. You want more. More of him. Not just his body. But the buildup is too much. You want to come on his cock. You want to feel him come into you.
“Three,” his word is more like a grunt as your tight pussy clenches down around him. Holding him so tight that you hope you trap him inside until he gets hard again and the two of you die because you can’t stop fucking each other.
One more push into you, and you feel hot ribbons of his cum spurt deep inside of you, and you both mewl at the feeling of your juices mixing into the most beautiful form of arousal. Fusing together as one as you search his eyes. Please. Please let him tell you that one time is never enough. Be good enough that he wants to stay.
He whispers out your name while his breathing is labored, and choked. “I’m not good enough for you. And I’m not good enough to walk away from you either.”
“Good.”
“I need you to get dressed and walk away from me, and this life,” you twist your head to the side and study him. “You deserve a better life than this, and I need…”
“What do you want though?”
“For you to never go anywhere that I’m not. I’ve always wanted you, and you know that,” how could it be possible that you’re now the one that needs him in your life. Jack has tried for so long. Even before Robert became your poison of choice. Why did he stick around and wait for this moment for all that time?
“I want to do this again and again and again. I want you.”
And for the first time in so long, you want to do what you want, too. You want him. You hate this life. But you want him. You can’t go on pretending that this life doesn’t exist because he is all you want. For how long was anyone’s guess because you’re unsure when Jack is who you wanted, and yet you denied him because you were with Robert. But you are tired of pretending, and tired of fighting.
“I’m sorry I tried to make you jealous,” and there it is. The man is finally apologizing after all these years. Games and more stupid games. Games that had real life consequences. Games that made you both take such different paths in life. “I love you.”
“Ehh, we’re not doing that now. I’m sorry I had to make you jealous for making me jealous. And then I got caught in Robert’s web. No more games.”
“None,” he’s tired of the games and chasing as well. Now he just wants to chase you to the bed.
“Just you and me?”
“And the devil makes three,” and that’s how you like it. Equal partners. For now until you each take your last dying breath. Just you. And him. And the devil makes three…
Masterlist
@tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @peaches1958 @seitmai
@smile1318 @andydrysdalerogers @cjand10 @midnightramyeoncravings @kmc1989
@pandaxnienke @donutloverxo @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @bambamwolf87 @rogersbarber
#one shot#jack o'malley#jack o'malley x reader#jack o'malley x female reader#jack o'malley x fem!reader#jack o'malley x y/n#jack o'malley x you#jack o'malley smut#jack o'malley fic#jack o'malley fics#jack o'malley fanfic#jack o'malley fanfics#mr. freezy#mr. freezy fanfic#mr. freezy fic#mr. freezy fics
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Can I be super boring and just give you sickfic as a prompt? 👀 (I wrote dickfic like 5 times which also works for me lmfao) Bonus points if George is sick hehe
Hi Honelle!! Here is a little slice of a sick fic. Sorry I used it to prove I can write something under 1K, but Chelsey thinks she's some kind of Machiavellian manipulator and so, you understand, I simply had to. And this prompt seemed easiest. 724 words.
If the sniffles took steroids and then cross bred with whooping cough—that’s the type shit that’s got George holed up in his bed, miserable.
“You should have taken the Emergen-C I got you,” Dream says, not helping, while he sits on the edge of George’s bed.
“Stupid,” George croaks out. “Your fault.”
“Yes, which is why I knew you should have taken the medicine, you big baby,” Dream says back. He’d already gotten sick and recovered, transferring his germs to George with their crazy mutation. Somehow, he feels worse than Dream ever did. He’s sure of it.
“I don’t feel good,” he says because sometimes you just gotta get it out. His head feels like someone pounded a nail into it and his throat is sandpaper.
“I know,” Dream says, voice quiet and empathetic. It’s everything George wanted. He just needed someone to hear him and to really get it. Dream gets it. “I’m sorry you’re feeling bad.”
George doesn’t respond. It’s not the kind of statement that needs a response. He’d sat with Dream for hours while he was sick, watching videos with him and bringing him soup. Though he blamed Dream earlier for getting him sick, the truth is that it’s his own fault for not being able to steer clear.
“I should let you get some rest,” Dream says in that way that people do when they’re trying to end a conversation, to sneak out without saying they’re done talking to you. George doesn’t want rest. He wants Dream.
He wants Dream to stay here and make the time pass faster, make the germs explode and give him back his health and vitality, give him a distraction so he can think about anything other than his own sickness.
“No, I just—just stay with me, Dream.” He pats the mattress, not in invitation, but an order he expects to be obeyed.
“You want me here?” Dream asks like he has to ask, like he needs the clarification.
“Always want you here.” Would he admit that if he weren’t feverish and high on cold meds? Maybe. Probably not.
But here they are. He can’t take it back. Especially not when he really means it.
“Good,” Dream says decisively. “Because I always want to be here. With you.”
They turn the television on, the one that George got from Dream—the same way his fingerprints are on everything in George’s life, up to and including the fact that he’s here in Florida in the first place.
He doesn’t think about while they find a video for Dream to cast from his phone. He winds up choosing Technoblade’s Potato War video, something that never fails to make George smile.
“Are you comfy?” Dream asks, his voice a rumble.
George thinks about it. He could be more comfortable, but he doesn’t want to overstep.
“Just do whatever you need, George,” Dream tells him, reading his mind.
“Can I lay on you?” George asks as he moves his head to rest on Dream’s chest before he even gets an answer.
“Always,” Dream says, bringing his arm around to hold George close.
It’s… intimate. They’ve never sat like this together. Cuddling. It’s intimate and it’s nice and George loves it.
Despite the headache and the way he coughs into Dream’s chest, it’s the most comfortable he’s ever been in his life, like Dream was made to be his pillow and George was made to be a weighted blanket and together they were forged to fit perfectly together.
Somewhere around the end of the second video, George feels his breathing fall into a pattern of sleep. He’s on the cusp, sleep bringing up her hands to gently lull him down. But he’s not all the way there. He’s awake to feel Dream’s lips place a delicate kiss on his forehead. He’s awake to feel the way Dream’s staring at him, like he’s taking him in. And he’s definitely awake to hear him speak.
“I love you like this,” Dream whispers against his skin. “I love you always, but I love this too. Please never stop wanting me like this.”
And then, Lady Sleep drags him just another inch further down, and he falls unconscious with a smile on his face and a promise in his heart.
He won’t stop wanting Dream. Ever.
And tomorrow he’ll tell him.
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Invisible string
Dad!Gojo x Fem!reader // Young Megumi and Tsumiki mentioned at the end // fluff angst if you squint, found family trope // 1k words
(Not proofread pls don’t kill me for any spelling or grammar mistakes)
Megumi is yet again in another fight but refuses to open up about this one leaving you and Gojo confused and worried
One single thread of gold tied me to you
More of my work 🤍
You’re sitting in the teachers lounge at Jujutsu high alongside Shoko, who’s drinking her daily dose of caffeine while you go through your paperwork.
You pay no mind when Gojo flops on the couch next to you whining loudly to grab your attention.
You ignore it the first time, you let it slide the second but now it’s the third time and you’re slowly losing your patience.
“You’re just really gonna leave me hanging like this?” Gojo asks raising his blindfold from one eye so he can see you clearly.
You let out a deep sigh as you turn towards him giving him a deadpanned look.
“I’m busy right now Satoru.” You replied as you went back to finishing up paperwork.
“Too busy for me? Your strong, beautiful, handsome boyfriend?” Gojo asked and you could almost hear the pout forming on his lips.
Shoko let out a little chuckle, “You sure he’s good mopping around like that?” She asked in amusement.
“Let him be, he’s probably gonna complain about Megumi again.” You replied as if you were used to his antics.
“Megumi..?” Shoko questioned as she pondered to herself you just shook your head in response with a smile tugging on your lips at your friend’s forgetfulness.
“Ah! The Zenin child?” Shoko asked as she snapped her fingers and you only hummed in response.
“So Gojo what about the Zenin?” Shoko asked now turning her attention towards your sulky man child.
“Well I’m glad you asked Shoko, unlike some people here.” Gojo replied, suddenly energetic - putting emphasis on the word some.
“He has a great technique and potential but he’s just, so ugh what’s the word for it..” Gojo started as he thought about his word choices.
“Satoru if you’re here to complain to us about how you’re getting bullied by a 7 year old we don’t wanna hear about it.” You replied while a little chuckle escaped your mouth.
Gojo squinted his eyes at you as he continued, “Well you wouldn’t know how it feels! Cause as soon as you’re there he’s all rainbows and unicorns and suddenly wants to eat all of his vegetables and wants to brush his teeth on time.” He rolled his eyes.
You got up from your seat making way to the couch, holding his face in your hands.
“I’m sorry Toru.” You said as his eyes lit up. “Is there anything I can help with?” You added.
“You two make me sick” Shoko spoke under her breath as she got up making her way out of the room.
“Megumi got in a fight again in school and he’s refusing to do any training today.” Gojo said with a sigh.
“He got into another WHAT?” Satoru i told you to contact me when this happens. Did you get called into school? God please help me if you told him to use cursed energy when he gets into fight again because I will NOT be holding back.” You spoke fast, clearly distressed.
“Relax y/n I spoke to the teacher and I did not tell him to tuck his thumb this time or use cursed energy.” He said and you could only sign in relief.
“It’s just that he…he’s not sharing why he fought in the first place.” Gojo started speaking as his eyebrows scrunched up in confusion.
“Well usually, he says that they were bullies but this time his mouth his shut couldn’t even get him to open up during a froyo session.” Gojo added.
“So please just talk to him? You always seem to know what to say and he likes you more anyways.” Gojo asked and your heart melted a little at his sincerity.
“Ok, I’ll pick him up from school tomorrow and I’ll speak to him. You don’t worry about it you big baby.” You replied as you pinched his cheeks.
So, this is how you found yourself picking up Megumi from school and he was more than shocked to see you waving at exactly pickup time - Gojo almost always runs late or sends Ijichi to pick him up instead.
“Hi Megumi how was school.” You asked as he buckled his seatbelt.
“You’re not at work today?” Megumi asked as he put his eyebrows up in question.
“Well I wanted to talk to you Megumi, why’d you get into a fight yesterday hm?” You asked softly, being extra cautious.
“I told him not to tell you, I knew you’d be mad.” Megumi huffed out.
“Mad? Gumi I’m not mad at all i just wanna know why it happened so I can help you.” You replied looking at him through the rear-view mirror.
“Well they were saying mean things.” He huffed again folding his arms to his chest.
“Were they saying mean things to someone else? Or was it about you Megumi? You need to tell me so I can help you.” You asked gently.
“It was nothing you need to worry about.” Megumi harshly spoke back and you could only frown in response.
“I won’t be mad.” You added.
“They said mean things about me.” He replied after a minute of silence.
“What did they say Megumi?” You asked again.
“They said I don’t have a real dad or mom and that their moms tell them to not hang out with me cause you and Gojo are weird.” He said avoiding eye contact, embarrassed about getting worked up over something like this.
You gave him a tight lipped smile in response, not knowing where to start.
“You don’t have say anything I don’t have a mom or dad but it’s okay cause I’ve got you guys.” He said, almost murmuring as a light blush formed on his already rosy cheeks.
“You’re right Megumi, you don’t have a mom or dad but you have me and Gojo. You know we love you and Tsumiki a lot so next time someone says anything about you or our family you go straight to a teacher or tell me or Gojo and we will figure it out hm?” You asked turning around for a second to give him a reassuring smile as he nodded in response.
“Right, you do know that you owe Satoru an apology for yesterday? Skipping out on lessons and being mean to him.” You questioned while raising one eyebrow.
“Yeah yeah I’ll do that.” He spoke putting his head down in shame as you could only giggle.
To be fair those parents were not wrong, Gojo definitely gave everyone the wrong impression from his immature humour and Megumi’s dad did walk out on him but, that’s okay because your little, slightly dysfunctional family is now his home and forever.
#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojo saturo#jjk gojo#jjk fluff#jjk headcanons#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#megumi fushiguro#megumi x reader#jujustu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen scenarios#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen icons#jujutsu kaisen incorrect quotes#jjk imagines#jjk scenarios#gojo scenario#gojo imagine#gojo icons
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Short fic about steviepop, Soda’s various inner turmoils, and Dallas Winston fucking with things. I’ll probably cross-post this to Ao3 but idk- it’s shorter than most of the fics I have up on there, only a bit over 1k words. So we’ll see.
This is a direct follow up to the fic abt the gang on a roadtrip I wrote last month, but you don’t r e a l l y need to have read that first- the point is they’re at a motel and Soda and Dally are awake while everyone else is asleep. Tw for period typical attitudes
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Steve wasn’t supposed to leave Tulsa. That wasn’t the plan.
Soda takes a swig of pop. It tastes funny, ‘cos it’s all mixed up with the smell of ol’ Dally’s cig and pool chlorine.
Dally hops the fence into the pool area, ignoring the Do Not Enter sign. Soda trails after him, wondering faintly why he is- but eh, he doesn't really care all that much. He’s nearly eighteen now, anyhow, so he can’t get Darry in trouble or threaten his guardianship or nothing. Ha, he’s kinda missed this.
He chances a glance upstairs at his and Steve’s room. Steve can’t be getting into trouble now though. Not if he wants to go to college with Evie…
“D’ya think I shoulda stayed in school?” Soda asks, following Dally down the walkway around the pool.
Dally gives him a dull look, like seriously? You’re still talking to me?
“I just mean, ‘cos, like, Steve and Evie did,” Soda presses on. “And now, y’know, they’re…leavin’.”
Dally raises his eyebrows, amused. “You realize it don’t take a high school diploma to move, right?”
“Huh?”
“I mean, you can just…go with them- you know that, yeah?” Dally snorts.
Soda frowns, a weird sick feeling bubbling up in his gut. “Yeah…I guess,” he says noncommittally.
The thing is, he can’t go with them.
He’s gotta keep his job, and he’s gotta be there for Ponyboy and Darry. That’s what he does. Where will they be without him?! They’ll just fight, won’t they?
He swishes the cola in his mouth, thinking about it. Just before he left on this trip they fought. Not badly, but Ponyboy was behind on a few assignments, wound up with a D in his algebra class on his report card.
Soda had walked out into the hall, duffle bag in hand, ready to meet Steve at the door, when he saw Darry sitting at the table and Ponyboy crossing his arms at the counter.
Soda’s heart sank. Report cards were in, huh.
Darry hadn’t said anything, but you could see in his eyes that he wasn’t real thrilled.
Defensively, Ponyboy had said “Well it ain’t like I’m failin’, okay?”
Darry nodded, glancing at Soda. “Yeah…I s’ppose.”
“I’m passing still,” Ponyboy had muttered.
“Yeah. I know. Colleges…they just don’t much like Ds, that’s all,” Darry said, attempting to be delicate.
“Well you try bein’ a year ahead in school!” Ponyboy said then. “Ain’t any other high school sophomore who’s fourteen!”
Gently, Darry said “Do you think you oughta maybe…re-do the grade, then?”
Soda cringed, hard.
Ponyboy’s face got real red. “Re-do the grade?!” he’d snapped, voice going high and squeaky. “For one D?! That’s ridiculous!”
Darry scowled. “It’s your future! I ain’t sayin’ you gotta, just that maybe you could consider it!”
“Oh you’re one to talk ‘bout the future, roofer-man,” Ponyboy muttered under his breath. Soda thanked the lord that Darry hadn’t caught it, and threw himself between the two.
He’d calmed them down decent enough, but it was just a bandage on a bullet wound. As he drove away with Steve, he swore he could hear them starting to row again.
Soda sighs and swallows his drink.
“I’m serious, man,” Dally says, glancing at him out of the corner of his ice-blue eye. “Ain’t nothin’ stoppin’ ya from followin’ your uh…” Dally smirks, pursing his lips. “...your buddy and his girl to Arizona.” He says buddy all funny-like, and Soda frowns.
“Maybe there ain’t,” Soda concedes, just to end the conversation. “Maybe there ain’t.”
“Hey, Curtis,” Dally says, an unreadable look coming onto his face. He tosses his empty soda bottle into the pool with a splash, and Soda would scold him for that, but he finds he’s frozen. He usually likes when Dally gets that hoodish look in his eyes, because it means things happen- but when they’re pointed at him they’re like spotlights. “I know what y’all do, you know,” Dally continues, corners of his lips tilting up.
For a second, Soda almost thinks he heard him wrong. “Huh?” he breathes.
“What, Evie don’t share her makeup-concealer how she shares her boy?” Dally says, voice too calm. Soda’s stomach twists violently, and he shoves his hands into his pockets to keep them from flying to his neck- if he fixes his collar, it’ll be a dead giveaway.
“What’re you on about?” Soda says, forcing his voice to stay even.
Dally snorts, looking at Soda head-on. “Jesus, man, and here I thought yous was just playin’ dumb.”
“Shut up, Dally,” Soda says, smiling a bit like it doesn’t matter. “You ain’t got any clue what you’re sayin’.”
“Don’t I?” Dally says, leaning forward boldly.
Soda resists the urge to lean away, and stands his ground. “You’re nuts, buddy,” he says, patting Dally’s shoulder.
Microscopically, Dally flinches away, and Soda’s heart drops into his shoes.
“I ain’t…I ain’t queer, Dally,” Soda says softly, hand hovering away from Dally.
“Like hell you ain’t,” Dally scoffs, lunging forward. For a second Soda tenses, thinking Dally’s gonna punch him. But instead Dally seizes Soda’s collar, and peels it back.
He points at the little red marks Evie and Steve left on his neck and shoulders, and Soda feels his whole face go red.
“See?” Dally says, grinning.
“What are you saying?” Soda growls.
“Whaddaya think I’m sayin’, Curtis? You think you and Steve are subtle?” Dally laughs. “You think it’s normal, sleepin’ on his shoulder, on his lap, in his bed?”
Soda opens his mouth and closes it. No no no no-
“You’re crazy, Winston,” Soda manages, backing away. “I got these back in Texas.”
“Yeah, I know. Got ‘em from Randle.”
“Got ‘em from some girl! You think you’re the only one who goes to clubs?” Soda demands.
“Oh yeah, Johnny and I do, and so does Two-Bit, but you? If you ain’t Randle’s side piece then you’re still his dog, wantin’ to follow him to Arizona!”
“As if you wouldn’t do the same for Johnny!”
Dally falters then. “That’s- that’s different.”
“Like hell it is,” Soda says, digging his heels in. “You and Johnny share a room, in all the motels, and back in Tulsa, too. Steve and I ain’t messin’ ‘round, and that’s real obvious ‘cos Two-Bit is always there and he’d tell ya if we were. But you and Johnny…”
“Don’t you go talkin’ like that about me and Johnny, we ain’t like you, Curtis. I don’t give a damn what you and Randle do, but don’t you go implyin’ things about Johnny, man,” Dally hisses, lips curling back over his pointy animal-teeth.
“Then don’t go sharin’ your freak daydreams about me and my best buddy,” Soda snaps back, and he tries to ignore the sickening churning in his guts. “About my best buddy and-” he tries not to wince- “-his girl.”
Because Soda doesn’t have a girl. Not when they’re not behind closed doors. Steve’s only Evie’s boy, and she’s only Steve’s girl, he reminds himself, hoping the conviction keeps Dally at bay. Maybe if he thinks it hard enough it’ll be true, just for right now.
Dally only glares at him, icy eyes hard. And Soda glares back.
Unsurprisingly, Soda breaks the wordless stare-off first, and hops the pool fence to head back up to his room.
“Hey Curtis,” Dally says to the back of his head, and Soda bites down the urge to spin around and sock him. “I really mean it- I don’t care what you and Randle do. I really don’t. Alls I’m sayin’ is to be careful, man. ‘Cos you know well as I do that some folks care. Folks a whole helluva lot more uh…keen-eyed than me.”
Soda swallows, glancing back at Dally. His eyes have sorta softened, at least to the coolness of a rainstorm instead of ice chips.
And, voice shaking more than he’d ever admit to, Soda says “I can’t use Evie’s cover-up stuff. She’s a whole lot darker than me.”
Dally smiles, or smirks, or something, and Soda turns away, still dizzy with the weight of the secret.
He doesn’t have to ask to know Dally won’t tell anyone. He’s a real ass, but he’s always got his back where it counts. Soda almost feels bad for ever having doubted him.
#steviepop#steve x evie x sodapop#stevepop#sodapop x steve#steve randle#sodapop curtis#the outsiders steve#the outsiders sodapop#the outsiders#the outsiders 1983#the outsiders evie#steve x soda x evie#dally winston#dallas winston#the outsiders dally#my writing#dallas showing his love by being a dick is really funny to me
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BAD HABITS. KINKTOBER DAY 2

rating: mature; mdni
pairing: rindou haitani x fem!reader
wc: 6k
content warnings: explicit content, bonten timeline rindou, sort of cnc/dubcon, drugs (pcp + laced weed) + a fairly unrealistic depiction of a high (rindou’s side), mentions of violence/murder, degradation, slight slut shaming, choking, oral (f!receiving), slight usage of a safe word/action.
author’s note: reposted fic !
You let out a deep breath as nicotine saturates your senses. It’s a feeling you’ve been familiar with for a while now. Your body feels lighter and your mind is more at ease. You know that it isn’t true peace, but it’s nice to feel it momentarily—even if it’s fake.
Everyone has their vice, their own little escape from this wretched life that they lead. Drugs, sex, alcohol, whatever it might be. Whether we recognize it or not, we use it, and we abuse it to help ourselves.
You haven’t really found yours. You’ve found small things that help you calm down and cope a bit, but you haven't found that special depravity. You’ve smoked several times with Sanzu— even dropped acid with him on occasion— but it never appealed to you as much as it did him. Ran’s invited you to go drinking as well, but you aren’t a heavy drinker like him. No matter what it is, nothing gets you off like it does with the other people here. Maybe it’s because you have a bigger chip on your shoulder— or maybe there’s no reason at all.
The sound of traffic has always helped calm you, though. You figure that it’s because you grew up around it. Since getting high or drunk doesn’t scratch that itch, over the years you’ve found that the best thing you can do is go up to the roof for a smoke.
“Thought I’d find you up here.”
“I came up here for peace and quiet,” you don’t need to turn around to know who’s standing behind you. “It’s no longer peaceful or quiet with someone else up here.”
“Funny.” It’s as if you can hear the way he rolls his eyes when he speaks.Rindou knows exactly why you come up here, so he sees straight through your answer easily. “Why’d you really come up here?”
“Sanzu’s high out of his mind and it’s annoying me.” He hums in agreement, but doesn’t say anything; as if he’s waiting for you to continue. “And I’m sick of all this infighting,” you begrudgingly admit.
Today, nothing went as planned and everyone’s been blaming each other. Takeomi pissed Rindou off during the mission, so naturally, Ran is pissed at Takeomi. Sanzu somehow believes that Kakucho is at fault, and like usual, Kokonoi has done nothing but fuel the fire with his snide remarks. The worst part about it all, is that you don’t even care. You just want everyone to shut the fuck up— or for better lack of words, you just want some goddamn peace and quiet.
“There it is.” Finally, you turn your head around, solely to shoot him a glare. “Come back inside with me. I’ll get your mind off things. We can fuck around, it’ll be fun.”
“Wow. Way to sugarcoat things, Rin’.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.” You hear his quiet chuckle decorating the words, and you swear your lips curl up in amusement at the sound.
“So what, you have new drugs you want to try?” You raise an eyebrow, exhaling a cloud of smoke into the air.
“Correct, but you don’t have to try them with me. Just want you to keep me company, in case I, you know, go into cardiac arrest or something.” A small laugh bubbles out of your throat, despite the joke really not being that funny. You worry about Rindou a lot— all of them, truthfully. Your feet feel heavier than usual as you follow him back down the stairwell.
Rindou is a lot different when the lights go dark and you’re left to yourselves. He’s a lot less guarded. You figure it’s just because he doesn’t have to worry about keeping up appearances, with Bonten or his brother, but either way, it makes you feel good that he trusts you enough to be a little vulnerable around you.
“So, what is Sanzu on for him to be pissing you off so much?” He muses.
“Shit ton of acid,” you answer, cringing at the memory of the man talking in his circles. He was rambling on and on, yet you couldn’t even understand his words due to the speed at which they left his mouth. You nodded in your head out of pure confusion for nearly 15 minutes before escaping to the roof. “He was about to snort a line before I left, too.”
“I don’t blame you for leaving.”
Currently, you’re staying at Bonten’s base. Most everyone has their own place, but sometimes they still stay here regardless. Sometimes it’s safer, and for others, it’s just more convenient. For you, it’s the latter.
The only current people occupying the building right now are you, Sanzu, and Rindou. Haruchiyo’s access to drugs is more limited when he’s at his own place— due to Mikey’s rules— so he ends up spending more time at the base. And Rindou is only here because his brother’s fling of the week is staying in their shared apartment. You, on the other hand, don’t really have a reason. Just like them, you have your own place and you go back to it sometimes, but it feels so lonely compared to here.
The elevator stops on the fifth floor, which serves as a lobby and leads to everybody’s rooms. When the doors open, Sanzu is sprawled out on the couch. Little white lines decorate the glass coffee table, as well as a credit card and a few opened pill bottles. Sanzu isn’t going to die from a gun or a blade— you swear his own addiction is what will kill him in the end; you pray that you won’t be around to see it happen.
“What do you have in store for us today?” You ask as you follow him into his room and he closes the door behind you.
His room is fairly bland. The walls are coated with the same base of gray that decorates yours as well as every other executive. The room’s layout is similar to your own, but with his bed against the middle of the wall, it feels a little less spacious. Small piles of clothes clutter his wooden floor— taking up whatever space isn’t already covered by his rug. It’s not exactly messy, per say, but it’s not spotless, either.
It’s probably because you were just outside, but you can’t help but notice how incredibly hot it is in Rindou’s room. It’s nothing he hasn’t already seen, so you have no qualms about unbuttoning your dress shirt and letting it hang open. Still, you don’t miss the way lavender eyes flit down to the blue fabric for a moment.
“Let me find it.” His words are mumbled together as he kneels before the nightstand beside his bed. “I hid it in case that little shit out there came looking for it.”
It’s noisy as he knocks around things in the drawer, not trying to even be remotely gentle as he looks for it. It doesn’t take long for him to shut the drawer and stand up with a small baggie of pills in his hand.
“Ta-da,” he simply says, sliding onto the bed with you.
You aren’t as knowledgeable as the two bonten executives when it comes to drugs, so you ask, “What is it?”
“Angel dust.” There’s a small grin on his face as he opens the bag. “Knabbed it off the shipment from last week.”
“Ah,” you nod, watching as he pulls out three of the little white capsules. “You seem excited.”
“Cause I am,” he chuckles. “I’ve been wanting to try this shit for ages. Do you think three is too much?”
You softly nod your head in agreement. “Maybe a bit,” watching as he drops a pill back into the bag and the leftovers into his mouth.
There’s a soft smile on his face as he turns his gaze to you. “Now we wait.”
For a while, you were against this—the drugs, but you learned to deal with it, even to participate in it. You’re a fugitive, a truth that came a little too harshly for you. You realized that in the end, it really didn’t matter for people like you. You’re able to gamble with your own life as much as you want because you have no idea the next time you’ll come home from the field. So, people like Sanzu and Rindou will find their freedom in little white pills, while you sit back and watch, silently hoping nothing will go wrong.
A few minutes of silence pass before he speaks up in an alarmed tone. “Oh shit, I got something special for you, too,” he mumbles as he crawls off the bed and returns to his place on the floor. “I almost forgot.”
His search is faster than it was the first time, but as he stands up, you watch him stumble a bit. His hands are quick to grab the edge of his nightstand and you swear that his grip is so tight that he could splinter the wood.
“Rin, you okay?” You figure the drugs are kicking in, but even so, neither of you know how thiswill affect him.
“Yeah.” His voice is shaky and you watch as he squeezes his eyes shut; more than likely trying to focus on something other than whatever shit he’s currently seeing. “Just give me a moment.”
You’re sitting up now, eyes trained on him and chest filling with worry. He takes a deep breath and then returns to his spot on the bed. “‘m okay now.”
While he changes the cart in his wax pen, you settle behind him. You let your hand run up the sides of his arms until they reach his neck. He lets out a low and quiet moan as you dig your fingers into the skin. You continue on and when he drops his head, taking it as an opportunity to press a kiss into the side of his neck.
His voice sounds light as he chuckles, “Shit, you’re good at this.” You feel him shiver as you lick a stripe up his neck and he’s quickly turning his head away. “Stop distracting me or I’ll never get this shit done.”
He returns to the work he was doing and you lean your chin on his shoulder, eyes fixed on his hands and the way they move. He swaps out the carts and throws the old one into the trash can a few feet in front of him. “Here, it’s for you.”
“Ooh, lucky me,” you chuckle, taking the device in your hand and lifting it to your lips.
You take three large inhales and return to your assault on his neck as you wait for them to take effect.
In contrast to your usual highs, it only takes about five minutes for it to start to settle in your system. The hits wash over you like a tidal wave. Usually, three would barely be anything for you, but this… “Holy shit, this isn’t regular weed, is it?”
“It's spiced,” he answers, words sounding tired and a bit slurred.
Intense wouldn’t even be the right word to describe it. You can feel everything and it’s almost nauseating. Even the low-light of Rindou’s ceiling fan is overwhelming your brain. There’s an odd buzzing from outside in the hall, and it’s far too loud for your liking. God, even your clothes make your skin itch. In an attempt to feel better, you lay back down on the bed. As soon as your back hits the matress, he’s there right next to you, greedy hands pulling you closer to him.
You’ve had highs like this before, but never from a pen or weed in general. You’re too aware of everything going on. Rindou’s hands on your body, his warm breath on your skin, the cool draft coming from the vent in the corner of his room—hell, even the clothes you’re wearing.
You flinch as his tongue makes contact with your skin and it’s no surprise that you’re also more sensitive. You suck in a deep breath, trying to focus on something in the room to calm yourself down. “You didn’t just bring me up here for drugs, did you, Rin?” You both know the answer to that question and it’s only confirmed when he chuckles into your skin.
“Maybe not,” he mumbles, not giving you any sort of warning as he sinks his teeth into your tender skin.
“Fuck,” you swear, eyes snapping shut as soon as you feel it. It feels good, yet it’s nearly overwhelming. For some reason, you think eliminating your sight will help rein yourself in. “Rin, you can’t just do that.”
He doesn’t respond, simply flashing you a lazy smirk—that you can’t even see— and tonguing over the fresh mark. “Baby,” he slurs out, fingers beginning to dig into your waist. “Want you.” He lays a kiss on the base of your neck. “Need you.” Another on your collarbone.
It feels so different from every other time you’ve been with him. You’ve been high during sex before, but it’s never been like this. Every touch lights your skin on fire, every word makes your mind cloud with lust. At this point, even if you aren’t voicing it, you’d do anything to fuck him.
“Then take me.” What’s meant to be a statement, comes out as a quiet moan.
If someone were to ask, you wouldn’t be able to pinpoint when exactly this started happening. You’ve known Rin for years and it just of…of…a happened.
You aren’t able to remember the details, but you can remember the fact that you were both drunk and in desperate need of physical contact. It started off as a mistake, then an outlet for stress, and then somewhere along the lines, it morphed into a habit.
Deft fingers fiddle with the waistband of your slacks, and you can tell that he momentarily forgets about the zipper and button because he lets out a frustrated grunt as he tugs at them. You move to do it yourself, but he quickly realizes his mistakes.
You lift your hips when you feel him clutch the fabric and he’s quick to tug the clothing as far down your legs as he can. You help him the rest of the way and your pants end up somewhere on the floor.
“Fuck,” he groans as he sits up, movements a bit sluggish from the drugs. A chill is sent down your spine as his hands grip both of your thighs, spreading them a bit and making you involuntarily clench at the feeling. You swear you can see him drooling a bit at the view.
You try to close them, to push against his hands, but like every other time you’ve tried before, he’s far too strong.
Today’s mission was especially stressful for the both of you. Unncessary killing took place, and while that wouldn’t normally be a big deal for someone as famous as one of the Haitiani brothess, he knows how you feel about shit like that. You aren’t proud of your ‘line of work’, no one here really is (with the exception of Sanzu, maybe), but he can tell that your moodin particulary gets affected by that.
When you two got back— even though you weren’t sure when it would be— you knew you should be ready for him to pull you into his room and fuck you into the mattress.
You made a point of putting on Rindou’s favorite lingerie: a lace and flowery set, a thong with a matching bralette, in a teal color that ‘reminds me of my hair in the old days’. Now, you’re starting to rethink your decision, due to that look in his eyes when he sees them.
“Shit, Rin, give me…wait.” Words are failing you. Your brain feels very overwhelmed. It’s not that you don’t want this, you just don’t know how well you’re going to be able to handle it.
He easily keeps them spread, pinning them to the sheets as if to prove some kind of point. “Gotta taste you ‘fore I go insane.”
He’s painfully slow as he licks a stripe against your clothed cunt. Even though he’s out of it, he’s still using his old tricks.
With your eyes pointed at the ceiling and your stomach tightened out of pure anticipation, you feel the man tap his fingers against the soft skin of your thigh.
“Eyes on me, doll.”
Even his words are setting off something inside of you. It’s as if whatever you took opened up a whole new part of your brain and your body. Now your eyes are staring deep into his as he carefully pulls your panties down. The tips of his fingers drag alongside your hips, the calloused skin tickling your own in a way that makes you almost shiver.
You can’t tell if it’s from the contact, the anticipation of what he’s planning, or just simply the look in his eyes. With the flimsy material out of the way, he runs his tongue over his upper lip and leans closer.
It’s easy to feel his hot breath against your bare skin and it drives you crazy. He starts by leaving messy kisses on your inner thighs, sucking multiple bruises as he goes. He’s surprisingly teasing for a man who’s desperate.
“Rin, fuck,” you swear, breath shaky. “Just do something.”
The first contact his tongue has with your clit, has you quietly moaning, head pushed back a little as you savor the feeling. Sadly, the feeling is short-lived as he quickly pulls away and presses a kiss against your thigh to get your attention.
He stares up at you through tired eyes, and you swear that you have to hold back a moan at his words. “I gave you an order, didn’t I?”
Once your eyes are trained back on him, he returns to his previous actions. His tongue licks a long stripe in between your folds and then a few kitten licks against your clit. He repeats this a few times and it easily gets you borderline panting—especially with the added effect of the drugs.
Your hand finds its way to his hair, and he lets out a deep groan as you grip the strands and push him deeper into your pussy. After one last lick, he takes the puffy bud into his mouth, eliciting a heavenly sound from you. He moans in harmony with you, fingers digging deeper into the flesh of your thighs.
He finds it so cute the way you’re fighting the urge to close your eyes— the way you’re trying your best to obey him. After all, it’s the least you can do after shutting him out all day. He was really worried about you, and it’s up to you to make it up to him with those pretty moans of yours.
You don’t question the way one of his hands leaves your leg, but your eyes shoot open when he pushes two fingers inside of you.
“R-Rin,” you manage to say, the feeling more intense than it has been in a long time. “I don’t think—”
You whine at the loss of contact as he pulls his lips away to speak, resting his head against your inner thigh. “How do you think you’re gonna be able to take my cock, if you can’t even handle two fingers?”
You don’t even have a response, too focused on the way the pads of his fingers brush against your g-spot with ease. He’s sloppier than usual. He doesn’t have those precise and practiced movements that usually have you screaming his name. The drugs are probably responsible for it, but your own drugs are making the experience more than enjoyable.
“Rin,” you moan out, barely even sure of what you’re about to say.
“What is it, doll?” His voice sounds tired, yet it maintains that teasing lilt.
While you struggle to answer what exactly it is, he busies himself by sucking on the fat of your thigh; no doubt littering it with marks.
“I need more.” You barely choke out the words, eyebrows furrowed as you stare at the man in between your legs.
“Sweetheart, no offense, but you can barely handle this.” To further get his point across, he abruptly presses hard into your sweet spot.
You can’t control the loud moan that leaves your lips as your eyes roll back. Your hips jerk against his mouth and you know that you’re almost at your breaking point.
“Besides, weren’t you just complaining that it was too much?”
It’s that unparalleled confidence that has always drawn you towards him. Even though he’s probably tripping out of his mind right now, he’s still as cocky as ever. As an executive, you have a lot riding on your shoulders; a lot of responsibility and a lot of choices to make. So it’s nice to have someone take control every now and then, even if it’s just during sex.
“Please don’t stop.” You can’t even register how loud your cries are, your mind too focused on him to worry about keeping quiet. “Please, Rin, please.”
He can feel the way your thighs shake beside his head and goddamnit, it’s really been way too long since he’s gotten you like this. There’s only been time for quickies before meetings or after missions. He hasn’t had enough time to get you shaking for him in a long time, and fuck, has he missed it.
“R-Rin,” you whine. “Rin. Want to—shit.”
“What’s that?” He hums, a condescending tone clothed by faux sympathy. “What do you need?”
You sound high out of your mind when you slur the words, “I want to cum on your cock.”
He can feel himself twitch when you speak. On one hand, he wants to make you work harder for it, but on the other hand—the compulsive hand that currently has a lot more control in his decision-making— he wants to fuck you, and he wants to fuck you right now.
“Fuck, you’re so needy.” The strangled grunt he lets out sounds animalistic as he pulls away from you.
You whine at the loss of contact, but he successfully shuts you up with his mouth on yours. His hands fumble with his belt as he nips at your lips, too high to worry about how he’s wasting all of your arousal by accidentally getting them on his pants. The kiss is sloppy, all teeth and tongue as he leans his frame against you.
You’re too busy entangling your hands in his hair to notice how far along he is in stripping, the only way you can know is when you hear the sound of his belt hitting the floor.
“Gonna fuck you real good.” Everything he does and says gets you even more drunk. You’re drunk on his taste, his touch, just him. It might be an exaggeration, but you’ve never wanted to fuck him more than in this moment.
You whine his name, hands grabbing at his jaw to pull him closer to you. You moan into his mouth when you feel his tip push into you, slowly starting to stretch you out.
“Fuck, you’re so sensitive,” he curses at the way you tighten around him, making it almost impossible for him to even bottom out.
If it wasn’t for the drugs numbing his senses, he might’ve not been able to handle this. The way you're squeezing him and calling his name, even in this drugged-up state, he’s going to need to get a grip or else he might not last for long.
You arch your back against the mattress as he finally fills you up to the hilt. Your hands travel down to his back, and he moans when you drag your nails against his skin, leaving bright red lines in their wake.
During the time you’ve spent with him, you’ve learned all of his little tells, and he’s done the same with you. You know what makes him tick, what his breaking point is, and how exactly to get him there. You also know that he has a fixation with pain.
Neither of you have talked about it; there hasn’t been a need. It was understood that he liked it in a sexual sense, but for a long time, you didn’t know the nature of it. He can be sadistic when he fights and has always gotten a sense of fulfillment when his skin is painted red, but that doesn’t transfer over to the bedroom. When he’s here with you, he wants to be hurt. Whether that be you pulling his hair or digging your nails into him until he bleeds, it drives him crazy.
His strokes are messy. It’s more of him rutting his hips against yours, rather than fluid motions. Even though it isn’t precise like it usually is, it still feels so damn good. His face is buried into the crook of your neck, hot breath fanning against your skin.
Your chest is pressed against his, nipples rubbing against him through the thin fabric of your bralette as you push your head into the pillow. “Rin,” you gasp out as his teeth bite down on your neck, quickly soothing the mark with his tongue. When his hand slips down and he messily rubs the pads of his finger against your clit, you cum on the spot.
He lets out a growl into your neck as you clamp down on his cock, whispering words of how fucking dirty you are. He wants to cum so bad, wants to fill you up to the brim so much that it hurts, but due to the hallucinogens in his system, he needs extra stimulation to get to that point.
His pace never falters, continuously fucking into your abused cunt. It doesn’t take long for tears to well up in your eyes.
“Rindou, s-slow down.” Unfortunately, your cries fall on deaf ears. He’s too focused to listen to the weight of your words. “Fuck, I can’t—”
“You can and you will,” he grunts.
It hurts but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t also feel good. You don’t know if you physically can take it, but goddamnit, you’ll try your best. You know that no matter how fucked out of his mind he is, he’ll stop if you say the safe word, so you’ll keep that tucked away until the last possible moment.
Tears fall down your cheeks and Rindou has to admit that it has to be one of the prettiest sights he’s seen. There’s part of him that feels bad for this, for pushing you to your limits, but seeing you like this makes him want to tear you apart. He wants to get you to those limits and push you beyond that point.
“God, you’re so fucking tight. Acting like you don’t like this… dirty fucking slut.” His words are followed by a loud and almost pornographic moan. “Sucking me in like this, but bitching about how you can’t take it. P-Pick one—fuck.”
It doesn’t take long for you to cum again. It’s more forced and rushed this time, but it still feels euphoric all the same. Now, as he still fails to slow down, you think you might actually pass out.
You’re sobbing at this point, moaning and whining, begging him to stop, but he doesn’t. He just keeps fucking you like an animal in heat— a beast.
“Rindou, please.” You sound pathetic, you know that, but if he keeps going, he’s going to break you.
“Shut up,” he growls, his hand finding its way to your throat. “You’ve whored yourself out to the rest of Bonten, you can handle this.”
His palm presses against the skin, fingers wrapping against the sides of your neck as he applies minimal pressure.
“I haven’t, please, Rindou..!” You deny his accusations, desperately shaking your head.
“Stop lying to me,” he speaks through gritted teeth as he ruts into you. “You’ve slept with my fucking brother, so you’re gonna take what I give you.”
You and Ran fooled around a long time ago, and it was also a while before anything happened between you and Rindou. He knows it was purely sex and it doesn’t bother him that much nowadays, but sometimes, the thought of anyone else getting to see you like this sends him into a feral state.
His speed picks up and his grip on you tightens. His release is close by, right there on the tips of his fingers, but in chasing it, he’s hurting you. He should feel bad, he partially does, but it feels so blissful that he can’t bring himself to stop. How can he when you’re sucking him in like this?
His palm squeezes your throat in an uncomfortable way, and just like that, your ability to breathe is out the window. It always feels good when he chokes you, but it’s not exactly rare for him to accidentally o a bit overboard.
You lightly tap your fingers against his wrist, three times to signify the ‘safeword’ just as you have every time before, but he doesn’t stop. Your eyes widen in surprise as he keeps applying pressure. At this point he’s pressing you down into the mattress.
You repeat the action, a bit harder this time. You’re starting to panic but he continues. You trust that Rindou would and will never hurt you, not on purpose at least, but this is alarming. It’s never happened before and you don’t know why it’s happening now. Until it hits you.
You didn’t calculate the drugs running through him. His senses are numbed, he probably can’t even feel it. You tug on his wrist with both of your hands, but it still doesn’t get through to him. You're losing your strength due to the foggy feeling in your head, and you’re starting to run out of options. You don’t know what to do. You try and pull his hair, but his only reaction is a muffled moan into your neck.
You’re scared. You’re tired, weak, and far past overstimulated. Now you can’t even breathe. You want to be done. You’ll suck him off so that he cums, but you can’t do this anymore—
All of those thoughts leave your head as he buries himself deep inside of you one last time and reaches his orgasm. As soon as you feel him start to fill you up, you’re cumming with him.
“Fuck, baby—fuck, fuck, fuck,” he rambles, too lost in pleasure to make coherent statements.
His grip starts to loosen up after his high peaks and you gasp for air as it does. Your body is still shaking despite the pressure on your throat being gone. You genuinely thought you were about to pass out. That’s…never happened before. Rindou has always been tentative and in tune with your reactions. The only other time you had to use your safeword, he was backing off in an instant. You let out a shaky breath as you try to gather yourself on the comedown from your high.
When your eyes finally land back on Rindou, he looks scared shitless. Even though he’s exhausted, his energy comes back in the form of panic. He pulls his half-softened dick out as he leans back to look at you. “Oh my god, are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No, I just—”
“I’m so sorry baby, I don’t—I’m sorry I was so rough. Shit,” he curses at himself.
“Rindou, calm down.” You rub your finger against his cheek and the way he leans into your hand is fucking adorable. “You didn’t mean to, you just didn’t notice when I tapped your wrist.’”
“Fuck,” he groans, laying his head on your chest andturning his cheek to press it against your skin. “I’m so sorry, doll.”
“Don’t be, it’s okay.” Okay isn’t the right word at this moment, but you don’t need him any more panicked or upset than he already is. All that will do is make you more upset in turn. You’ll discuss this again, once you’re both sober.
“What can I do?” He nuzzles his head into you, laying between your legs. “Would a bath help?”
“Yeah, it would,” you smile at him, running your hand through his lavender hair.
What started as a hookup and led to a habit, has now turned into something you genuinely couldn’t live without.
In the end,
Rindou is your vice.
tagging: @chaoticmoonave @dilfhos @kkittycries @enchantedforest-network @seraphdreams
#rindou haitani#tokyo rev x reader#tokyo rev smut#rindou haitani smut#rindou haitani x reader#rindou smut#tokyo rev#rindo x reader#tokyo revengers smut#.kinktober 2023#.ezra’s writing#.file } rindou
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no doubt
⋆✴︎˚。⋆ pairing: choi hyunwoo x f!reader
⋆✴︎˚。⋆ word count: 5.83k
⋆✴︎˚。⋆ content: MATURE CONTENT AHEAD!!, fluff, humor, slight? angst, swearing, best friends to lovers, reader lowk kinda sucks guys, she’s very Impulsive, mentions of alcohol and weed, featuring sumin and jinsik + nameless/faceless girlfriends, for a lack of better words reader is como se dice… dumb <3, mentions of wet dreams, lots and lots and lots of kissing, hyunwoo is a little handsy, mutual masturbation but ur getting each other off, soft dom!hyunwoo, couch sex, i’ll be real u might get secondhand embarrassment from reader, missionary position… no protection (pls be safe!!!), cutesy ending, lmk if i missed anything!
synopsis: karma’s usually a bitch, but at least this time she was kind of sweet and considerate.
୨ৎ i have been working on this fic for well over a month now, probably two atp, and she’s finally cooked and ready to be served <3 special shout out to @tmrwsuns my blue my sweetie pie my cupcake.. without u i think i would have burned my blog to the ground… this one’s for u :3 (pls don’t forget to reblog if u liked this!)

Oftentimes, you made some questionable decisions.
Once, while sitting on the floor of your best friend’s living room, high off of your ass might you add, you flashed all three of your male friends and their respective girlfriends. You were complaining about some guy you were seeing and how he never put his mouth on your chest. It confused you because you were actually really proud of your breasts, hence why you showed them off with no issue.
(“Look! These are pretty nice!” You exclaimed in a whine, lifting your ratty t-shirt to display your bra-clad chest. “Who wouldn’t want to suck on them?”
Jinsik’s girlfriend slapped her hand over his eyes and Sumin’s slapped hers over her mouth. He looked away swiftly, whistling. Your best friend gawked at you, mostly in shock that you did it without an ounce of shyness.)
The weekly smoke and gossip sesh was awkward as hell for a bit after that. Things only went back to normal when you brought it up and everyone laughed about it later on.
There was also the time you lied to a guy about why you couldn’t go out with him anymore. Rather than explaining that you just didn’t see him that way, you told him your best friend had gotten into a horrible accident and you didn’t have the mental capacity for a relationship. This was not true. Said best friend was perfectly fine, actually, at his house probably playing one of those video games you can’t stand.
And the list keeps going. In fact, you’re sure you’ve made more stupid choices than rational choices. It was hard not to when you didn’t necessarily have quick thinking skills. You were more impulsive than anything, following along with the first thing that pops into your head rather than sitting there and thinking it through.
Maybe this was your karma.
For all the times you’ve put him in fucked up situations. For all of the humiliation and embarrassment that comes with being your best friend. You used to believe that maybe he was just a masochist, or someone who was really into that. But no, that wasn’t it. It’s because the universe was slowly, but surely, planning this moment. Meticulously. Calculatingly. Brick by goddamn brick.
It started off with a dream.
Usually following your weekly hangouts with your friends, Hyunwoo didn’t let you go home. He didn’t trust you driving yourself while high (or drunk, depending on the vice you chose for the night). And he sure as hell wasn’t sacrificing his own fun to babysit you, so it was just easier to have you sleep over. It used to annoy you, but deep down you always knew he did it for your own safety.
You had weird dreams whenever you slept in the guest room, to say the least. They were like those insane fever dreams you get when you’re delirious from being sick, or those crazy horror movie-like nightmares that you only ever hear about from others. You’d gotten used to them by this point, chalking them up to the fact that you were under the influence every time you had one.
But this wasn’t just any dream. It was one of those dreams.
Imagine the freak out you experienced when you woke up the next morning. You sat up in the pristine sheets quickly, hair disheveled and jaw dropped all the way. It was jarring, to awaken from your peaceful slumber only to realize the star of your sexually-charged fantasy was your best friend. You had never seen Hyunwoo in that kind of light before, especially because you’ve known him for so long.
You didn’t want to face him so soon after, which is why you got the fuck out of his apartment before he woke up himself. He was confused to find the guest room empty, but shrugged it off upon seeing your text about needing to be somewhere. (It was a lie, obviously, but he didn’t need to know that. Besides, technically, you did need to be somewhere. And that was pacing in your bedroom like a madwoman, trying to figure out how the hell this could happen.)
“What the fuck am I supposed to do?”
Your head was in your hands, between your knees, as you explained the situation to Sumin and Jinsik’s girlfriends. The three of you had planned this girls’ night a couple days ago and it worked out perfectly in your favor. You were driving yourself batshit just keeping this information to yourself.
“Will you kick my ass for saying I’m not surprised?” Sumin’s girlfriend asks. You shoot her the nastiest of death glares in response. “What? It’s true. It was bound to happen eventually.”
“Listen, Y/N, as the resident freak of our friend group, and you and Hyunwoo being the only single ones, I’m more shocked that nothing has happened between the two of you yet.” Jinsik’s girlfriend adds on sheepishly.
“I don’t just fuck anything that breathes, though!” You exclaim in defense of yourself. “I’ve never looked at him that way, either. This feels so sudden.”
“The universe works in mysterious ways. It could be trying to tell you something like, ‘Hyunwoo is hot and so are you, therefore, you would make pretty babies.’” Sumin’s girlfriend shrugs her shoulders. She was just like her boyfriend in the sense that she, too, will say things with the utmost confidence. You gawk at her, and the nonchalance of her words.
“Why would you even say that to me?! I don’t want to think about kids any time soon, let alone think about having them with my best friend since middle school.”
“This might be an unconventional scenario, but I believe in everything happening for a reason. You probably have an attraction to him that goes beyond surface level and you just didn’t know it. This isn’t the end of the world, Y/N. You should take advantage of it, ‘cause chances are something good might come out of it.” Jinsik’s girlfriend pats your back, returning her focus to painting her toenails.
It was really hard to keep her advice out of your head.
You wanted to ignore her and the whole wet-dream-about-your-best-friend thing, but it was just entirely too difficult when it kept yelling at you. Loud. Like a blaring alarm clock right beside your damn ear. Like an ambulance siren in the middle of the night.
Every time you tried to avoid Hyunwoo, he managed to worm his way into your day. He texted and asked to hang out the day after you talked to the girls, to which you attempted to deny his request, hitting him with that ‘I’m too tired’ message. He sent you a frowny face, but showed up at your door hours later with some takeout and a tub of your favorite ice cream. This was the cure to exhaustion, apparently. (His words.)
With moments like this coming at you left and right, it was becoming quite the challenge to pretend like Jinsik’s girlfriend’s suggestion didn’t ring true. It seemed near impossible, too, since you couldn’t stop fucking dreaming about him. It was as if everything was pulling you towards him and the only person trying to put a stop to it was, well, you.
It was nothing against Hyunwoo. From the stories you’ve heard about his previous partners, he’s not only a good significant other, but good in other areas too. It was entirely the fact that your friendship has withstood the test of time. You weren’t sure if you couldn’t handle the change, or if he even saw you remotely the same. What if you told him and you ruined everything? It didn’t just affect the two of you, but also your entire friend group and its dynamic.
But maybe this was worse. You were doing everything in your power to steer clear of him. And you were pretty sure he was starting to notice. Usually you would give into his second attempt to hang out with you by now. You really had to have hated him for one reason or another. You didn’t even let him sit next to you during the weekly hangout. That’s how he knew something was up. Sitting next to him meant he would roll for you, but you didn’t even bring out your pink rolling paper.
The girls kept glaring at you when you made eye contact, especially because they knew what you were doing and you were doing it so painfully blatantly. Hyunwoo wasn’t helping either. He looked good. Really really good. And those were thoughts you never could’ve imagined having. You could even feel his eyes burning holes into the side of your head, lips pulled into a pout.
As the night drew to a close, and all your friends were leaving, you also wanted to slip out along with them. You figured if you didn’t sleep in the guest room, if you had an excuse to keep your distance, everything would go back to normal. You’d stop dreaming about your best friend in the most inappropriate of ways. You could be alone with him without thinking of jumping his bones. Your weekly hangouts would return to the way they were only a week ago. It was honestly, in your opinion, a foolproof plan.
Except you did not factor in that you were, in fact, a fool yourself.
“Y/N, wait,” Hyunwoo calls just as you’re going to dash out of his front door. “I need to talk to you about something.”
Jinsik and Sumin’s girlfriends turn to you at the last second, one winking at you and the other giving you a thumbs up. (It’s pretty obvious which of them did what.) You had never wanted the ground to swallow you whole so badly. This was not a part of your plan.
“What is it?” You try to mask the quiver in your tone.
“Why were you trying to leave just now? You always sleep over after we hang out.” He asks, hands in the pocket of his hoodie. We must stay focused, brothers. We must stay focused.
“I didn’t smoke,” you say matter of factly. “Didn’t think I had to.”
“That’s what this is actually about,” his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek. “You never turn down smoking, not even if you have to be up early the next day. And you’ve been avoiding me like I’m the fucking plague. What’s going on?”
“What are you talking about…?” Your voice trails off and your eyes dart to the floor. You may have been a master manipulator when it came to other douchebags your age, but never when it came to Hyunwoo. He could read you like you were an open book, pages on full display for him. He can’t stop the humorless snort that comes out when you say that.
“I’m not an idiot, Y/N. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to put two and two together. You didn’t smoke, because you knew if you were sober, I wouldn’t make you stay over. But I know there’s a reason you didn’t want to sleep here and it’s the same reason you kept coming up with lame ass excuses not to see me this week. So, just tell me what it is so we can move on.” Hyunwoo rarely gets mad at you. The last time he told you off was when you used him as a scapegoat to get out of seeing that guy, and there was validity in that. Other than what was necessary, the two of you didn’t fight. You were both so laid back that arguing over petty things seemed pointless. It was why you got along so well, why you’ve been best friends for so long.
Right now, however, his chest heaving slightly out of anger and frustration, you think he looks so attractive. Perhaps the girls were onto something when they said you should go for it. The dim lighting and the faint haze from earlier’s smoking in his living room does wonders for his already alluring appearance. You probably should’ve deflected a little more, should’ve bit your tongue a little harder, but staring at him has you confessing faster than the speed of light.
“You wanna know why I can’t be near you, Hyunwoo?” You’re taken aback by your own impulsivity, but you’re far too deep into it to stop. “Because if I’m alone with you, I might risk everything.”
“Wha—?”
“I had a sex dream about you last week,” you explain, not believing how bold you’re being despite boldness making up around 85% of your personality. “And I’ve had one every night since. I’m sorry for pushing you away, but it was either that, or throwing away nine years of friendship for another one of my stupid decisions.”
“Y/N,” he starts, and you think it’s over. “I’ve had those about you, too. More times than I should admit, really, but I knew avoiding you would just make things complicated. Instead, I forced myself to pretend it wasn’t you I was dreaming about.”
You blink at him. Was it this simple all along? Essentially, you had just done what he was trying not to do. So much for not making a stupid decision for once. Oops…
“You— you do?” Apparently that was all you took from that, though. Hyunwoo laughs, and you swear he’s the finest man on the damn planet.
“I’m not blind. You’re the prettiest girl I know, Y/N. Besides, it’s a bit difficult not to when we talk about our sex lives with each other so frequently. I am a guy. I get curious.” He shrugs. You have a sixth sense for when a dude is just glazing you so he can get in your pants. That’s not what this is. The compliment is a genuine one coming from him, and you’re certain that’s what has the heat rising under your skin.
“What exactly do you get curious about?” You step closer to Hyunwoo, his hands sliding out of his hoodie pocket. His fingers draw circles on your bicep, before gliding down your arm with pressure as light as a feather. You watch as he traces every last inch of you with dark, sharp eyes.
“If you’re actually as good at sucking dick as you say you are,” he admits shamelessly. “And since I’ve dreamt about it so many times, I always wonder how gorgeous you’d look underneath me.”
“Oh my god…” Your eyes squeeze shut, forehead falling to his shoulder.
“But it doesn’t matter, ‘cause that’s a discussion for another day. I wanna know what your dream was about. The first one.” He cups your cheek, lifting your head so you’re looking into his lust filled irises with your own. Part of you feels both shocked and embarrassed by the sudden cockiness that’s come over him, while the primal part of you wants more of it.
“We— it was during one of our group hangouts… I said something that pissed you off and we, um, went into your room so we wouldn’t annoy everyone else with our argument,” it’s easy to recall what happened in it, seeing as it’s replayed during your sleep over and over again the past few nights. “I don’t remember what you said, but next thing I knew, we were kissing and things escalated quickly… We, uh, got each other off and then I rode you…”
Talking about sexually explicit matters has never been an issue for you. You were likely the most comfortable one in your friend group to have conversations about it. For some reason, that isn’t the case at the moment. You’re shy as you recount the events, tripping over your, usually confident, words. Telling your best friend the dirty scenario you dreamt of him does that to a person, you suppose.
“Are you saying we fucked while everyone else was still here?” He clarifies, and when you nod in response, he practically groans out loud. “I think I might cry right now.”
“Wha— why?!” You’re alarmed. Maybe you were taking it too far by being detailed. Maybe—
“Baby, I’d give anything to have everybody hear me fuck you silly,” he interrupts the start of a crash-out, the pet name producing butterflies that flutter around aggressively in your stomach. “Honestly, if I don’t get to do that soon, regardless of having an audience, I’ll probably fall over and die.”
You make the mistake of glancing down, catching sight of the stiffness in his sweatpants. It proves to be difficult to ignore the tension fogging up the living room, more so when you clench around nothing. There was no turning back from this. The chances of you also dying if you didn’t have sex with Hyunwoo tonight were extremely high. You were beginning to feel unbearable amounts of desperation.
Of course, you do what any sensible individual does in this situation; You kiss him.
You kiss him as if your life depends on it, because as you mentioned previously, it kind of does. Thankfully, he kisses back with just as much fervor. His lips slot with yours perfectly, like missing puzzle pieces finding their way to each other. Your hands tangle in his hair, tugging on the ends every time he licks into your mouth experimentally. Hyunwoo walks the two of you backwards until the backs of his knees hit the sofa, falling into a seated position with you on top of him.
He isn’t afraid to explore your body, groping you everywhere he feels fit. His touch leaves fire in its wake and you’re starting to grow needier. Your whines are soft in his ears, sounds of pure desire stuffing them full like cotton. If it was the only thing he could ever listen to again, he wouldn’t mind one bit. Hyunwoo wastes not a single second pulling off your sweatshirt and tossing it haphazardly onto the floor, mouth attaching to the smooth skin of your neck and chest.
The thin material of your leggings does absolutely nothing to aid the friction between you as you grind down in his lap. It actually aggravates you further, your brows furrowing together. He can tell that you’re getting fidgety, but he’s enjoying watching you squirm because of him entirely too much. However, rolling your hips over his aching hard-on is starting to distract him from his current task. His hands pause their wandering in favor of stilling them, while he continues to suck and nibble on the pillowy mounds of your breasts. Your bra straps are slipping off your shoulders and the cups are doing an awful job at protecting them.
“‘S not enough, Hyun,” you whine, head tilting back when his kisses inch up the exposed column of your throat. “I need m-more.”
“Shhhh, baby, I’ve got you. I know,” he hums, speaking into your jawline as he nips at it. “I’ll make you feel so good, I promise. Just hold on a little longer for me, okay? I don’t wanna rush this.”
Your heart stutters behind your ribcage, beating rapidly when he says that. It’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever heard, and maybe it has to do a little with the fact that it’s coming from him, but that’s not the whole of it. It also has to do with how special he makes you out to be, like you’re not just someone he’s trying to fuck and wash his hands of afterwards. You mean a lot more than that to him.
So you nod and agree to stave off for now, attempting to focus on his thumbs rubbing soothingly on your hips rather than the wet patch that’s spreading on the front of your panties. Once he believes that he’s kissed every possible space on the surface of your skin, he brings you down to reconnect your lips. You’d think, the sheer volume of pining and hunger that you felt for one another would have this moving at a faster pace. You half expected your clothes to be off in the blink of an eye and for all of it to be over within mere minutes. But Hyunwoo drags it out, almost as if he doesn’t want the night to end.
He kisses you like you’re the very source of love and light, like having his mouth on yours is the secret to eternal life. No one has ever kissed you this way before. No one has ever made you feel like you’re more than just a warm body. Guys that you’ve hooked up with in the past didn’t even care for foreplay, let alone kissing. And if they did, it was them on the receiving end. He treats you like you hung the stars in the sky.
You pull away and he chases after you, pouting when you put your finger to his lips. “As much as I’m enjoying this, and enjoying you, if we don’t do anything soon, I think I’m gonna be the one who cries.”
“Can you remind me what it was that we did in your dream first?” He asks when your hand falls between your laps. You can feel how much he wants you, how much he needs you, but he’s exhibiting self restraint you didn’t know was possible. It all appears to be in favor of putting your pleasure at the forefront of tonight, ensuring that you’re the one satisfied by the end of it. It’s driving you fucking insane.
“Well…” You trail off as you press your hand to the crotch of his sweatpants, applying a small amount of pressure to elicit a groan from him. “I remember doing something like this…”
Hyunwoo’s hold on your hips tightens, his eyelids falling heavy when you start palming him. You take a brief second to remove your leggings, so you’re in nothing but your bra and underwear. He follows along, discarding his hoodie and pants just as quickly. You resume your ministrations, straddling him once again. He swallows thickly. “Then what?”
“And then…” You take his own hand and guide it to your core, allowing him to feel the dampness of your panties and its stickiness. He figures out what to do from there, pushing the lacy fabric to the side and running his index finger through your slit. Another whine escapes you after finally receiving some sort of relief from the fire burning in the pit of your stomach. “F-fuck, I don’t think I can— I’m not s-sure I can t-talk through this.”
“I’ve got it from here, baby, don’t worry.” Without disrupting his work, Hyunwoo leans up to kiss your jaw. You can feel the curve of a smile against your skin.
He repeatedly drags his finger through your slick, letting it catch at your sensitive clit each time. Your own hand is shaky as it pulls his underwear down enough to free his cock, your mouth almost watering at such a pretty sight. The tip leaks a pearl of precum and your thumb swipes it away, spreading it all over the head. He hisses at the contact, but doesn’t falter with his own agenda.
After teasing each other a little more, you both finally give into the temptation. You jerk off his dick while he slips two fingers inside of your empty cunt, simultaneous moans falling from your conjoined lips. You don’t risk looking down at your work, or his for that matter, because you know you’ll crumble faster than you ever have. It’s so overwhelming, but still it’s not enough. With the week you’ve had, and everything building up to this moment, being one with Hyunwoo is the only way to satiate the flame of desire.
His fingers curl in the crook of your pussy and you all but cry out into his mouth, increasing the strength of your grip on his cock. He hisses, pressing his thumb to your clit in response. You separate from his lips and he follows again, not wanting to part from you.
“Baby,” you start, gasping when his fingers speed up. He’s so distracting, your brain is forgetting how to communicate to your mouth. The words are sitting on the tip of your tongue, but they stay stuck there.
“Hmm?” Hyunwoo hums, leaving kisses on your neck and chest since you denied him of your lips.
“I can’t— I need—” You shake your head, halting your actions and grabbing his wrist gently. “I need more. I want you… So so bad.”
The way he looks at you when you say this, you’d think you were the prettiest, shiniest thing on earth. Maybe you were some sort of heroine in your past life. What else would you have done to deserve such appreciation? You’re beginning to believe that there was more to Hyunwoo’s feelings about you. It had to be deeper than just the occasional wet dream about his best friend. There was emotion in his eyes and his kisses.
And there was a very real chance that it was the same for you.
“C’mere,” he says softly, lowering you on his lap so you’re eye level. “Tell me what you want so I can give it to you.”
And now he’s so close, but so far. The heat of him is calling to you, like he was a siren luring you in further and further. This line of friendship that you were so determined not to cross has finally blurred to the point that there isn’t a possibility you didn’t already cross it. You just stare at him with something different, a glint in your gaze that communicates what you were afraid of speaking out loud.
“I—“ Your breath catches in your throat. “First, I need you to answer me honestly.”
“Y/N, when have I ever lied to you?”
“Do you love me?” You ask him, a little unsure why that’s the question you asked when there were a million others you could have picked. He’s taken aback by it, and you don’t really blame him when it came completely from left field. However, he regains control of his bearings rather quickly.
“Do I love you?” He parrots, and you kind of regret asking this now; while you’re both naked and vulnerable.
“I know you love me as a friend. There’s no way you don’t, considering how long we’ve known each other. But are you doing this because you’re horny and need a temporary fix, or is this more than that for you?” See, this is exactly why you wanted to just avoid the situation entirely. This is why you wanted to act like you never had that dream, to salvage your friendship from what your sleeping state had already tainted.
“Y/N,” Hyunwoo says gently, cupping both hands under your jaw. “Let’s think for a second. Would I ever do something as low as fucking you just for the thrill of it? This means something to me. It always has. I didn’t want to say anything and scare you ‘cause I know the way your head works.”
“Okay…” Your voice isn’t much louder than a whisper, nodding slowly before you kiss him once more. This time it’s sweeter, gentler than the others. So many things that aren’t just lust are translated into it.
“Okay?” He curls his lips into a smile, pulling you closer and flipping you so your back rests on the couch. He hovers over you, his nose brushing yours delicately. He cares for you like you’re made of the finest china, as if one wrong move might shatter you. It’s completely different than how he is in your friendship, but the duality does nothing except amplify your need for him.
“Okay.” You repeat, closing the gap between your mouths without hesitation.
So maybe the entire thing was a little unconventional. Here you are, laid out on your best friend’s sofa with his dick sliding into you as if this was a normal Friday night activity. His lips move against yours like it’s muscle memory. But above all, you don’t think you could have it any other way. Each kiss, each gasp, each caress of skin on skin— it’s so perfect to you and you’re glad you threw caution in the wind this time around. Unconventionality wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Hyunwoo bottoms out with a grunt, forehead falling to your shoulder as both of you adjust to him finally being inside of you. He’s so warm, pulsating like a second heartbeat between your legs. Your eyes all but roll to the back of your head, the pleasure nearly unbearable. Had you put aside your pride long ago, you might not have had to deal with incompetent partners in the past. Perhaps you could’ve had this all to yourself sooner.
He rears his hips back slowly, just to snap them into yours rhythmically, finding a pace that doesn’t tire him out but gives you that push towards sweet relief. He kisses your shoulder where his forehead once was, one hand gripping onto your hip for dear life and the other pressing your thigh almost parallel to your chest. The angle is delicious, allowing him to dive deep in your pussy and reach where no one has before.
“How are you doing, baby?” Hyunwoo suddenly asks, voice slightly straining. You whimper in response, too hypnotized by his cock to conjure a proper, coherent sentence. He tsks teasingly, lips tip-toeing along your jaw. “That’s not an answer. Use your words.”
“It feels…” You trail off as you search for the right response, only to be interrupted with a high-pitched moan when he switches up his speed. “G-Good god, Hyun… It feels s-so good…”
He smiles at your struggle, then resumes his focus on providing you maximum bliss. Your friendship has always been based on the banter between the two of you. Joking and messing around with each other was part of the foundation that maintained your relationship. You had a sharp tongue, hitting him with witty one-liners for the sake of keeping him on his toes. However, right now, seeing you so pliant beneath him, practically crumbling through his fingers, he thinks he could get used to this.
You can hardly keep your eyes open, lashes obscuring the majority of your vision. With other guys, it’s taken anywhere from twenty minutes to an hour to build up the pressure in your core. And that’s if you were lucky. There were more times than you could count on a single hand where you didn’t get to finish at all. This time, Hyunwoo has you inching towards the edge quicker than you’ve gotten yourself.
He can tell, too, if the way your walls contract and flutter around him are anything to go by. “Close?”
“Mhm…” You whine, back arching off of the couch in an attempt to minimize the space between you. Your arms wrap around Hyunwoo’s neck, fingers linking so you can kiss him again. He continues to hold down your hip, but migrates his thumb to your clit to further guide the process.
The fire underneath your skin burns hot and by just applying pressure to that sensitive bundle of nerves down south, he’s tipping you towards your climax without a warning. The sound that comes out of you is foreign, loud and damn-near pornographic. He eats it up, swallowing it as he kisses you like you’re the center of the universe. Your body is so exhausted, but it lets him overstimulate it until he’s ready to reach his own peak.
When you’ve both come down from your state of euphoria, the weight of the moment dawns on you vividly. You take a second to stare, eyes tracing the curve of Hyunwoo’s face and the drops of sweat that follow his hairline to the tip of his nose and his jaw. He starts to tidy up after yourselves, collecting your clothing and running to grab some fresh ones. He returns with a clean pair of his underwear and a t-shirt for you, as well as a glass of water and a washcloth. You’re not sure how you could be so blind as to not see how beautiful your best friend is until now. And not just beautiful in the shallow, appearance-concentrated kind of way, but beautiful in every aspect imaginable.
He’s always the first person you talk to in the morning, and the last one you talk to before you go to sleep. He knows your favorite color and your favorite movie. He remembers your order from every restaurant you’ve ever visited together, and could pick something you’d like from somewhere new. He has a solution for every scenario, whether you’re happy, sad, or angry. He pretends to get into horrific accidents to save you from weird guys that you go out with, even though he gives you pushback for it.
Choi Hyunwoo isn’t flawless, but he’s perfect to you. And he’s perfect for you. He’s your rock and your anchor. He’s your warm fuzzy blanket on a cold day. He’s your breath of fresh air on a cool summer night after a long day of sweltering heat. He’s absolutely everything you need and more, and you’d be an idiot if you didn’t recognize that now, or ever.
“You’ve been glaring at me for a while… Whatcha thinking about?” He asks after helping you redress. (You were capable of doing that by yourself, but you can’t deny that you like the attention.)
“I’m kinda lucky, aren’t I?”
“Huh?” His eyebrows furrow together as he stands from the couch and he drops the washcloth in his hands. “What are you talking about?”
“For all that I am, all the fuck-ups and the impulsive choices that I make, I somehow managed to end up with you by my side. I’ve dragged you into some unbelievable situations and you’ve never once hated me. Isn’t that crazy?” You elaborate. Hyunwoo forgets all about the washcloth, sitting next to you again.
“I’d never leave you, Y/N,” he says seriously, one arm slung around the backrest of the sofa and the other in your lap. “When I said tonight meant something to me, I was serious. Aside from, like, my mom, you’re the most important girl in my life. I would never jeopardize our friendship over something like a wet dream. If I didn’t see you for you, if I didn’t already see my future with you, I wouldn’t put you in an intimate position. This is where it ends for me, I don’t want anyone else.”
“Promise?” You can’t help feeling small as you seek reassurance.
“I swear to you, baby. You’re so precious to me.” Hyunwoo confirms. That’s all you need to hear to lean in for another kiss, this one filled with unbridled love and affection. Men used to go to wars to experience this kind of longing and pining, but Choi Hyunwoo wouldn’t change anything for the world as long as he had you.
It looks like your questionable decisions paid off after all.

© 𝒕𝒊𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒊𝒏.
#xikers#xikers x reader#xikers smut#xikers hyunwoo#xikers hyunwoo x reader#choi hyunwoo#choi hyunwoo x reader#choi hyunwoo smut#hyunwoo#hyunwoo x reader#hyunwoo smut#𐙚 tiramisumin
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If You Won't, I Will

IMAGINE: IF YOU WON'T, I WILL ~ SANJI X F!READER (FEAT. ZORO) GENRE: FLUFF WARNING: NORMAL SIBLING FIGHTS Nova's Notes: I really didn't know to categorize this as a Zoro or Sanji fic. *********************
Being Zoro’s sister was no easy feat. Dealing with his nonchalant attitude and his stubbornness took a different level of patience. However, you wouldn’t trade him for the world. He’s always been right by your side and you’ve always been by his side as well.
You would even go as far as calling him your best friend. He knew everything about you and your habits. Which almost annoyed you sometimes because you could never get away with anything.
That’s why Zoro was highly disturbed when you saw you acting weird around the cook. He’s never seen you act like a ‘flustered idiot’ -those are his words-
When you spilled your confession to Zoro about your crush on Sanji, he was even more mortified. He didn’t understand what you saw in him. It took him a couple days to accept the fact that you had a crush on Sanji. But that doesn’t mean he really approves of it.
Now that Zoro knew about the crush, you felt free to just talk about Sanji to Zoro.
Zoro really didn’t like hearing about it, but he knew if he didn’t then he would have to deal with your attitude. So he sucked it up and just listened to your rants. He definitely started to get annoyed.
With a dreamy sigh, you look up at the ceiling while your brother does his work out routine. “Did you see how his sleeves were rolled up? I just love when he does that when he cooks. And! The way his hand grazed mine while giving me my plate.”
Zoro grunts, a mixture of lifting his heavy weights and hearing you talk about Sanji like a love sick high school girl. “No, I don’t pay attention to him.” “Ugh, I wish you could see what I see in him.”
Zoro’s face pulls up into one of disgust, “why would I want that?” “Because he’s just so amazing, duh.”
Zoro drops his weights on the ground, causing it to shake a little from the sudden force. He looks over at you, his eyebrows pulled together in frustration.
“You should tell him how you feel.” He says, causing you to sit up with a frightened look on your face. “No, absolutely not.” “And why not.” “I would be absolutely mortified.” “Just do it. Nothing can go wrong.” “Uh, yes it can. Literally anything can go wrong.”
Zoro just gives you a look, “if you don’t say anything, I will do something.”
You stand up from the couch, “you wouldn’t.” “You know that I will.”
You do know that in fact he would do something. “If you even step out of this room, I swear I’ll beat you to the pulp.”
Zoro smirks at your threat, “I don’t even have to step out of this room.” “Gah! You’re so annoying.” You yell at him while picking up one of his weights to throw at him.
His eye widens causing him to duck and the weight crashes through the window. He looks back at the broken window, then back at you. “Are you crazy?! You’re the annoying one always talking about that stupid cook!” “He’s not stupid, you are!” Zoro frowns at your words, “that’s it.” He grumbles and makes his way towards you. You let out a small shriek, running around the room so he wouldn’t catch you.
Just down below, on the deck, the loud sound of a crash was heard. Followed by a large weight crashing right onto the deck.
“Oh my…” Robin says, eyeing the disaster in front of her. Nami, who was already fuming because the weight almost hit starts to yell. “What are those two idiots doing?!”
She tries yelling at the two of you, but her yells fall upon deaf ears.
Back in the crow nest, you were dodging all of Zoro’s swings and attempts to catch you. But you were faster than him. “You’re too slow!” You tease him while sticking your tongue out.
“You brat!” He shouts trying to grab you. You quickly moved to the side, but you didn’t see the bar in the way. With a small shout, you fall to the ground. Zoro uses this to his advantage and picks you up by the front of your shirt and lifts you up.
So now you are face to face with him. And boy does he look angry. You let out a nervous laugh, “have I ever told you how great of a brother you are?”
That did nothing. Not a single muscle in his face changed.
That was until his eyes flicker behind you. You could see the gears turning in his head and a small smirk forming on his lips. You knew that whatever idea he has in his head is definitely not a good one.
“Let me go you heathen!” You shout while punching his arm. He doesn’t even flinch at your hits.
While you did beat him in stealth and speed, he did beat you in strength and durability.
He walks over to the broken window and sticks you out of the window.
“What the actual hell are you doing!” You shout at him, your grip suddenly becoming ten times tighter. “Say that you’ll confess your feelings or I’ll drop you.”
It was silent between you two. The only thing that could be heard was some shouting from down below from your crewmates. You look down below you, seeing how far the drop would be.
“Mm,” You shrug, “I’ll take the drop.”
Zoro’s reaction turns into disbelief. “You would rather fall than tell him how you feel?” “Yup,” you say, popping the ‘p’. “Unbelievable.”
His grip starts to loosen from your shirt. You were about to fall, but you suddenly wrapped your legs around his arm. “Eh?!” Zoro shouts and grips onto the side of the window to stabilize himself. “Just drop already!” “No!” Zoro starts to shake his arm, trying to get you off of him.
“Mosshead!”
You heard the familiar voice of the guy that you had a crush on. Your heart beats a little faster, just from hearing his voice.
Zoro just groans from annoyance. However, he felt how your legs loosened up a little. “Maybe your lover will catch you.” “Huh?” You look up at him confused and you suddenly feel yourself fall from his arm.
Before a scream could even leave your lips, someone had caught you.
“Hey lovecook! My sister has a huge crush on you!”
You swear, you could feel your soul leave your body from hearing Zoro’s words.
You were then placed on solid ground. And warm hands caress your face, “are you okay?” You were brought back to reality, vision clearing to see Sanji. Your face becomes red at his closeness. “Uh… yeah. Yeah. Just my brother and I having a fight. You know how those can get.” You nervously laugh. Sanji chuckles, “yeah. Siblings are the worst.”
“Did.. did you hear what he said?” You ask, really hoping that he didn’t. You take a chance and finally look up into his eyes. His eyes were soft as he looked down at you. You really hope that this wasn’t about to be a rejection. “Yeah,” he softly says, “I did.”
He leans down to place a kiss on your forehead. Your eyes widened in shock, but you really enjoyed the soft feeling of his lips that sent tingles throughout your whole body. And you wanted nothing more for him to just place kisses all day.
“We can talk more about this later, but first I have to teach your idiot brother a lesson on how to treat a woman. You don’t just go throwing women out of windows!”
You giggle at his words as he stomps away, ready to give your brother a piece of his mind.
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I was on Twitter/X and saw someone mention why Naoya is popular among Japanese fans and a big reason apparently is that he speaks in a cutesy dialect that’s only used by girls. And that it’s the kind of way of speaking where girls can insult you and it’s hard to be offended. And now I can only imagine Y/N reacting to this grown man insulting her in this cute dialect 🤭
Heya anon!!!
Yessssss! I quite recently saw a Tiktok talking about that and thought it was really unexpected, but cute at the same time? Ironic for sure too… guess it explains how he got so popular since even the author has called him a total jerk 😂
Unfortunately, I don’t know much about Kansai dialect, nor think there’s an equivalent to it in English, so I’m guiding myself with how it was translated in the manga, and perhaps my delusions too 😏 in order to write the following.
warnings: none.
The first time you notice his peculiar way of speaking would be when you met him many, many years ago, in jujutsu high. Everything about him was highly enthralling, from his appearance to his background, but when he opened his mouth…
Your curiosity ramped up to even higher levels, longing to know everything about him, as well as see the extent of his “cutesy” talk.
And boy, does it not disappoint.
It would happen unexpectedly one day. Let’s say that after a bunch boring classes you eventually grew very hungry and tired. So, after deciding you were long overdue for a break (and because you hadn’t prepared anything beforehand) you head over to the cafeteria to get something to eat and rest.
… a big mistake, because soon after you finish eating, you begin to feel sick, stomach twisting and churning, to the point you don’t think yourself capable of continuing with the rest of your classes.
Naoya is amongst the few that (vividly) notices your extended absence, and while he will never admit it out loud, he was worried that something bad happened to you, thus, he roamed across the school grounds in hopes of finding you.
When he does, you’re sitting by one of the benches, tightly holding onto your stomach as you debate whether to die there or die on the way to the infirmary.
“What’s wrong with you?” Naoya bluntly asks.
“I…. I think I ate something spoiled.” You whimper, barely able to look him in the eye.
“Does your tummy hurt or something?”
“Yes, it’s awful, it’s like I’m being—my what?” you blink—did you hear that right?
“Your tummy.” He repeats, oblivious to your reaction, far more preoccupied with your health. “Does it hurt?”
“My… tummy…?” A smile begins to part your lips, and suddenly, your pain is all but forgotten. “Did you say tummy??”
“I… I did….?” Naoya says, flustered and unsure whether this is something good or not to admit.
He soon finds the answer.
“How adorable!!” you gush, and by now, Naoya is red as a tomato—because he clearly doesn’t want to be seen as adorable by his crush!
“I said stomach!! I meant to say stomach!!” He rushes to defend himself, but it’s too late now, he’s already admitted to the crime.
“Noooo, you said tummy!!” you continue to jest. “My thummy wurts vewy, vewy, bad Naoya-kun…”
“Ugh, you can die out here for all I care…”
“No, wait Naoya!” you gasp, quickly standing up and reaching for me. “Can you at least accompany me to the infirmary? I’ll forget about this, I swear!”
Of course, you don’t let this go so easily, in fact, when the two start dating you continue teasing him about it—but you just couldn’t help it!! It just comes to him so naturally, you had to bring it up anytime you could, you know?
“Why are you upset? Did daddy get mad at you again?” you ask.
“Yes! That old man can’t keep himself out of my—wait, no—don’t call him daddy!” Naoya stammers, you giggle. He’s not ignorant to the times he’s condescendingly referred to Naobito with a that “nickname”, yet it didn’t mean he’d like to hear you calling him that as well!
“Why? Do you prefer I’d call you daddy?”
His breath hitches, something igniting inside him.
“…Not here.”
“Ok” you smile. “I won’t call you daddy, then, daddy. Wouldn’t want you to get angry at me.”
“… keep instigating me, princess, and I won’t reward you later tonight.”
I think the more you delve into this aspect of his, the more you find it adorable, to the point where you find his words a bit less serious; however, you’d eventually grow accustomed to it, and maybe even adopted some mannerisms of your own 🤭
I know you were referring to Naoya insulting Y/N but honestly I have no idea how it would be... I'm as dry as dry can get when it comes to it :'( but I still hope you were able to enjoy this small scenario! Gotta say, watching him say daddy in the manga was unexpected, but got me thinking what other things he'd say in that way, you know?
ironically, I think he might be the best when talking to children because of that—when he's not being his tsundere/rude self.
Anyways, thank you so much for sending in this ask!! I can't wait to hear how his voice sounds when it's finally animated, I hope they're able to keep his dialect and see what the fuss is all about 🤭😂
Take care, and hope to see you soon!! ❤️❤️
#ask#naoya zenin#naoya zen'in#naoya x reader#naoya zenin x reader#naoya zenin x you#jjk naoya#naoya zen'in x reader#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk x you#prompt series: jujutsu kaisen
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It has been a whole entire week since I posted my previous set of recs and guess who is still hip deep in BATFAMILY fic and really wants to cry about feelings about all the Bats and Birds, but most especially my beloved Dick Grayson? I enjoy fic of all the characters, there should hopefully be something for most fans here, I eventually spread my wings a bit (ha ha) through the fandom, but absolutely I feel I should warn you all that I play favorites and I’m not subtle about it. In my defense he’s really annoying in the most delightful way, how could I not love him the most? So, here, have week #2’s recs where I dump 60+ more fics on you because this fandom is on fucking fire with how good it is and how much I love everyone here. God bless fic writers, you are all doing the lord’s work of giving me three novels worth a week to read and knocking it out of the park while you do it. BATFAM FIC RECS - BABY DICK IS THE CUTEST FERAL ROBIN I’M NOT HEARING ANY ARGUMENTS: ✦ The Painful Truth by RascalJoy (DarkQuill), dick & bruce & wally & artemis & m'gann & conner & dinah, 6.2k In a mission gone wrong, Robin finds himself being forcefully interrogated under…influence. “Now, you’re probably wondering why we haven’t just yanked your mask off and been done with this whole thing, hmm? It’s because this way is so much more fun.” ✦ a home not yet a home by Mayarenerose, dick & bruce, 1.1k Dick just likes climbing to the roof sometimes. He doesn’t mean anything by it. He doesn’t. He just needs to be high up sometimes. He likes looking at the stars. Stars are hard to come by in the city and you need to be high up to even see them properly. ✦ Friends That Say (You’re Not Alone) by ProsperDemeter, dick & bruce & alfred & clark, 3.5k Richard. The kid. Richard Grayson. Clark didn’t feel ready to meet the child that Bruce took in. What if he was a mini-Bruce? What in the world would Clark do then? ✦ Taking Flight: A Tragicomedy in Four Acts by WingFeathers, dick & bruce & alfred & clark, 48.7k John and Mary Grayson die; Dick becomes Robin. This is everything that happens in between, a/k/a, how Gotham City ripped one family and identity from Dick and gave him another. An origin story in the Rebirth spirit, weaving together threads from Tec #40, Dark Victory, Robin: Year One, New 52, and more. ✦ Motion Sickness by Arwriter, dick & bruce & cast, 4.2k A routine patrol is interrupted when Robin realizes he’s being followed. There’s no attack, no ambush, no weapons drawn. Dick doesn’t understand what this man wants, or why his gentle touch hurts so bad. But Batman seems to know, and Dick just wants someone to tell him what he did wrong. ✦ do as I say (not as I do) by daringyounggrayson, dick & bruce, 1.1k “Don’t be mad.” Bruce has been raising Dick long enough to know that that sentence never bodes well. Especially when it’s the first thing to pop out of the twelve-year-old’s mouth when Bruce answers the phone. ✦ Burn Rubber by HoodEx, dick & bruce & roy, 3.5k Roy couldn’t help but feel out of place like his presence was keeping Bruce from acting like himself. Whatever “himself” looked like. Bruce had always been a bit of a cold asshole anytime Roy had been around him. Even when Bruce talked to Dick, there was a barrier there that made their conversations seem strictly business. Some part of Roy had always wondered if Bruce was the same way with Dick at home. For Dick’s sake, he sure hoped not. OR the one where Roy gets to see Bruce act like a dad. Also, there are cars. Lots of cars. ✦ Surprise, You’re Adopted by CamsthiSky, dick & bruce, 1.8k Dick gets kidnapped. Bruce gets worried. Things turn out alright in the end, though. ✦ without you i am surely the last of my kind by nosecoffee, dick & bruce & clark & j'onn, 6.6k (Bruce Wayne also knows how it feels to be a scared little boy who just watched his parents die, telepathic mind meddling aside, and has had his eyes fixed on Dick Grayson since his parents fell, so of course he’s going to get him. It’s all he can do.) (Or, Dick Grayson is a traumatised alien empath with bad timing, and Bruce Wayne still needs to learn how to verbalise his emotions.) ✦ The Bone Road by scpnightwing, dick & bruce & alfred, 63.8k wip By night, Robin was his partner in crime, but once the sun rose, all Dick could be was a mirror of his tragedy, haunting his halls and asking for more than Bruce had in him to give. (The early days of Batman and Robin, and the many mistakes therein) BATFAM FIC RECS - EVERYBODY LOVES DICK: ✦ The Shape Of You (Was Jagged And Weak) by WinterSky101, dick & bruce & jason & tim & slade & cast, 40.6k Six months ago, Nightwing died. They never found the body. Last week, Deathstroke arrived in Gotham. He brought a partner with him. ✦ We Were Built to Fall Apart by CamsthiSky, dick & bruce & tim, 1.2k Dick is hurt, tired, and ready to let go. Bruce doesn’t seem to be ready to let him. ✦ It’s a Wonderful Earth-218 by BeatriceEagle, dick & bruce & past dick/babs & cast, 7.4k As Blüdhaven burns, Dick makes a wish that he’d never been born. He wakes up in a world where that’s true, being followed around by a supervillain who just really wants to get back to taking over the world. ✦ the higher fidelity by birdsofthesoul, dick & bruce & damian, 3.6k Bruce goes sheet-white, looking like Dick’s just cut him to the quick, and Dick can’t help but think they should have booked a flight, discretion be damned. This — this is why they don’t do road trips. Cars are like confessionals, cramped spaces built for coercing confessions, and neither of them are good with words. ✦ Theory of Relativity by CamsthiSky, dick & bruce & jason & cast, de-aged!dick, 2.2k wip In which Dick Grayson gets de-aged and everybody freaks out ✦ hold the fort (for i am coming) by deargalileo, dick & bruce & jason & tim & duke, de-aged!dick, 3.6k Jason’s jaw dropped. The tiny human child toddled in front of him, gripping at his pant legs. Automatically, he bent his knees slightly. The child lost its grip, and fell flat onto its ass. They both froze. The child’s mouth opened and closed soundlessly. “No no no, don’t cry,” Jason rushed out. He leaned down and scooped the child into his arms. “Don’t cry, okay?” The child grabbed onto his shoulder as Jason settled it (him?) onto his upper hip. Big, blue eyes blinked up at him, shining with unshed tears. When the fuck did B have the time to adopt a new kid? ✦ There’s Always Another One by lapsedpacifist, dick & hal (& bruce), 2.5k After Bruce kicked Dick out, there was a very particular place Dick decided to visit. Well, visit, hide in, it was all one and the same. He could do it without Bruce! Just a shame Hal was finished with his assignment a week earlier than anticipated. ✦ The True Sons of Batman by PandasandDucks13, dick & bruce & damian & jason & talia & cast, 10.8k What if Dick Grayson was Bruce Wayne’s biological son? ✦ Hey! He Attempted a Coup! by PandasandDucks13, dick & bruce & clark & justice league & zod, 3.1k What if Dick Grayson was a Kryptonian? ✦ Unsteady by 60sec400, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian & barbara & cast, 14.8k Nightwing is 22 when he’s hit by, well, something. They haven’t actually figured that out yet. But now he’s ten years old and a child and Damian struggles to see the man who he had looked to as a father forget who he ever was. De-aged fic. AU. BATFAM FIC RECS - DICK AND DAMIAN WERE THE BEST BATMAN & ROBIN, I’M NOT HEARING ARGUMENTS ABOUT THAT EITHER: ✦ Mirage (What I See In You) by SilverSkiesAtMidnight, dick & damian, 3.4k Grayson’s gaze flicks upwards to meet his, and suddenly his expression softens. He smiles. “It’s okay,” he says, the movement of his lips clear even if his voice sounds like it’s coming through a broken radio. Suddenly, he’s pressing a rebreather to Damian’s face. His own rebreather, whole and unbroken. ✦ The Dog Days Are Done by fishfingersandjellybabies, dick & damian & cast, 3k Dick is a good guy. He is. He knows that. Just like he knows that bribing your wayward, animal-loving, emotionally-traumatized brother to come see you with a puppy is exactly what all good guys do. That was a fact. ✦ To the Moon by theLiterator, dick & damian, 9k A newly resurrected Damian Wayne does not believe Dick Grayson is dead. Spyral has been quietly helping to deal with the aftermath of Leviathan’s reign of terror and is wary of clones. Dick Grayson does not believe Damian Wayne is alive. (Together they fight crime, but’s always been true, hasn’t it?) ✦ Redemption Lies Plainly in Truth by SilverSkiesAtMidnight, dick & damian, 6.2k Damian tries to pull his wrist out of his grasp. Any other time, Dick would let him go without hesitation, always careful to make sure his personal space is respected. This time, he catches his other wrist as well, gentle but firm as he crouches down to make eye contact. “Hey,” he says, smiling gently. “Do you trust me?” ✦ whether you’re high or low by Anonymous, dick & damian & jason, 1.9k Dick’s first visit back to Gotham in a while ends with a shattered TV screen and more questions than answers for Damian and Jason. ✦ wrap myself in a thin sheet of ice by emavee, dick & damian, 3.3k Damian falls victim to a witch’s curse, giving him a week to live before his heart turns to ice. There is a cure, but there’s no way someone like Damian would ever receive a kiss of true love. ✦ as love carries its strength, but not its labels by AlterHarpia, dick & damian, 2.7k Bruce is on a trip beyond Earth’s Solar System for longer than he intended, making Dick and Damian fall into an old pattern. “I’m not Batman.” A mere reminder, perhaps, but when said to Damian it always sounds like an apology. BATFAM FIC RECS - BATKIDS ALL HAVE MANY SIBLINGS AND THEY’RE ALL PETTY ASSHOLES AND/OR WONDERFUL BABIES AND I LOVE THEM WITH MY WHOLE BEING: ✦ Say Uncle by Megaerakles, tim & jason & bruce & dick & steph & cast, 46.3k Tim is prepared to take the steps necessary to ensure that Bruce will not feel obligated to adopt Tim when a comatose Jack Drake inevitably dies. But what could be better than preventing Bruce from ending up with a son he doesn’t want? Bringing back the one he does. Jason agrees to the Replacement’s stupid, stupid plan to invite some strange adult man he’s never met to come live with him, if only to keep the idiot alive long enough for him to serve his purpose in the Great Red Hood Revenge Scheme. Might this new roommate situation have an impact on either of their worldviews? Surely not… ✦ Ain’t No Compass, Ain’t No Map by ebjameston, tim & jason & dick & cast, outsider pov, 51.8k A CPS agent gets sent to investigate a tip that Tim Drake has been abandoned by his parents and is living with the Red Hood. The CPS agent leaves with no Tim Drake, a date with Red Hood’s lieutenant, and an intern who’s promising to fix the IT systems at his office. It’s a weird day for Theo. ✦ The Longer You Stay by emiv, bruce/selina & dick & jason & tim, 64.3k Bruce Wayne was never meant to be part of Selina’s clean slate. Then again, neither were a circus boy, a street rat or a rich kid. For a girl who didn’t like strings, Selina found herself getting attached. ✦ Falling, Catching by Freezer7, dick & jason/roy, 4k The call comes in at two thirty-four am, on Dick’s first night off in three weeks. ✦ Piñata by Maximum_Quinn, bruce & dick & jason & tim & cass & steph & duke, 2.2k “I found… something weird today.” “Weird how?” “I was checking out that half-destroyed apartment building today, and there was, like… papier-mâché everywhere? In Robin colors.” (Duke learns about an odd tradition between the Bats and the Rogues.) ✦ Five Times Dick Was Tim’s Safety Net and One Time Tim Was Dick’s by PrinceJakeFireCake, dick & tim, 5.2k “Tim forced his gaze away from his phone, took a moment to breathe deeply, then tried to figure out the best way not to die anytime soon. For Bruce. For Alfred. For his friends. For Dick.” Dick has always been there for Tim, even before they knew each other. ✦ wet teeth, shining eyes, glimmering by a fire (who will i be tonight?) by lifetimeoflaughter, dick & jason & cast, 2.3k They’re standing on a rooftop. It’s not very high up; only about ten floors, give or take. The moon isn’t out tonight. It’s dark. It’s too dark to tell if it’s blood that’s dripping from Jason’s gloved fists. ✦ smeared with oil (like david’s boy) by call_me_steve, bruce & dick & tim & damian, de-aged!damian, 2.1k Dick’s leaning over the edge of the couch, watching a tired Bruce stare lovingly down at the baby cradled in his arms. The baby’s swaddled in soft green blankets, probably procured by Alfred at some point or another. It’s hard to believe that this is actually Damian- Damian, and his big, bright, brown eyes; his soft, baby hair; his pudgy cheeks and small fingers. Clear of a snarl and frown and, instead, reduced to soft babbles and the occasional giggle. In his chest, Dick’s heart flutters. He feels his breath stop for all of a moment- God, this kid already has him wrapped around his finger. “Can I hold him?” ✦ There in the Sudden Blackness by CamsthiSky, dick & tim & damian, 1.7k Tim and Dick argue, and at the end, Tim’s not actually sure if either of them actually won. ✦ The Mechanics of a Hug by incogneat_oh, dick & tim & damian & bruce, 4.1k “So,” Tim ventures. “It's… what, a cuddle pollen?” Bruce just shrugs. “Something like that.” ✦ Taking Care of Business by Nokomis, dick & tim, 1.7k Tim (only somewhat reluctantly) accompanies Dick on an undercover mission at an Elvis convention. ✦ where were you when I was king in this part of town? by Cerusee, dick & jason & bruce, 4k The teen sitting next to him had mostly polished off his pork noodles, and he was eyeing Nightwing’s. Nightwing handed them over without a word. “Why,” he said, more to himself than the kid, “why, oh, why do I feel like I know you?” Because you do, came the unbidden thought. ✦ head in the clouds by Alienu, dick & jason & tim & damian, 4.7k “Hey,” Tim says out of the blue. “Has anyone ever noticed that Damian has, like, weirdly sharp canines?” Dick makes a face. “What?” he asks. Then seems to think about it a little more, and says, “Oh, I mean… kind of? I don’t really pay attention to his teeth.” He turns to Damian. “Robin, let me see your teeth.” The kid growls. “I’m not afraid to bite you, Nightwing.” “Furry,” Jason coughs. Damian throws a batarang at him. ✦ A little more heart and soul by ruesyblues, dick & jason & damian, 2k What do you do when the brother you raised and loved and left now seems to be withdrawing and you want the best for him but you’re not sure if you did the right thing and oh fuck what if you made a mistake?? (Dick wants Damian to be happy. He just has no clue how to accomplish that.) ✦ To Reconcile by CasualDanger, dick & jason, 2.4k “Babs slapped me at your funeral.” Jason goes to laugh, but it’s just a cough and his mouth barely even twitches up. “She hated me in that moment. I mean, really, really hated me, like I did Talia after I found out Damian had died. And I wondered,” his voice cracks, eyes glassy now, “did you hate anyone when I was gone? Because I was gone?” ✦ damian clone triplets!!! by drakefeathers, dick & bruce & damian, 2.1k Bruce finds and rescues three baby Damian clones~!!! babies~!! ✦ fear toxin (◡‿◡✿) by drakefeathers, dick & bruce & jason & tim & cass & steph & damian & alfred, 3.6k six drabbles about batkids crying and screaming after being dosed with scarecrow’s fear gas~ (⊙‿⊙✿) ✦ Two Birds, One Stone(d) by MichaBerry, tim(/kon) & bruce & dick & jason & alfred, 5.8k After a drugs bust gone sideways, Tim is a very high little bird. Cue shenanigans and family bonding. BATFAM FIC RECS - I WILL DIE ON THE HILL THAT TIM DRAKE’S TRUE LOVE INTEREST IS CONNER KENT AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME, NOT EVEN GOD: ✦ Trust fall by Ididloveyou_once, tim/kon & damian/jon & dick & jason & bruce & cast, nsfw, 22.4k Damian was… here. At Kent Farm. Dressed in the too-big Batman pajamas that Dick had bought him last Christmas as a joke. And- And- Tim was wearing Kon’s t-shirt and his hair was messy and his lips were swollen and- He wasn’t ready for this- He wasn’t- He couldn’t- BATFAM FIC RECS - TAKE THE ANGST DIAL, TURN IT UP TO ELEVEN, AND BREAK THE KNOB OFF, THAT’S WHAT I’M HERE FOR: ✦ Hard Truths and Other Realities by CKBookish, dick & bruce & jason & clark & wally & cast, 113.6k wip Clark shifted his weight making the floorboards creak and groan under his feet. “Dick I hate to see you–” He paused searching for the right word. Dick snorted. “Wallow?” Clark sighed. “That’s not what I was going to say.” “I know. I can go to the barn and hang out there if I’m bothering you and Lois.” Dick pushed himself up. Of course he should have thought of that. Lois didn’t want some random teen laying around her home on Christmas Eve. ✦ You Won’t Wake Up Alone by DawnsEternalLight, dick & bruce & damian & jason & tim, 5.2k Dick’s captured and drugged and probably about to die. The last thing he wants to do is die in front of his family, especially not his baby brothers, all he wants is to be with Bruce and feel safe again. ✦ The Robin Manual by lurkinglurkerwholurks, dick & bruce & damian, 2.3k Bad days were nothing new. Most of the time, he could feel them coming the way a swimmer could feel the approach of something huge beneath the surface of the water. The pressure would start to build, tugging at him like undertow by the shore, and it was always a gamble to see how long he could tarry before the pull yanked him under. ✦ the world is ending and i’m still numb by Arwriter, dick & bruce & jason & tim & alfred & cass & stephanie & damian & barbara & duke & cast, rape aftermath/read the tags, 20.7k She’s gone, and he’s home, but Dick doesn’t know how to move on. He isn’t alone, but that doesn’t mean he knows how to ask for help. ✦ Up High by CamsthiSky, dick & damian, ~1k “Grayson, what are you doing up here?” Dick shrugs, a sad smile pulling at his lips. He’d stopped asking that when his feet first started to take him up here years ago. “I like the view.” ✦ here comes the rain again by pocketofsky, dick & jason & tim & damian, rape aftermath/read the tags, 14.1k Dick doesn’t patrol when it rains. Not since Blüdhaven. And everyone knows that, but they don’t know why. Or: Dick slowly but surely confronts his trauma. Now featuring: a train, pain, and a lot of rain. ✦ Happy Little Bluebirds Fly Beyond the Rainbow (Why Oh Why Can’t I) by honeycombclaire, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian & cass, 26.9k After being subjected to the Mad Hatter’s dream machine, Dick gets stuck in a dream world where he finally has everything he wants. His parents are alive, his family is together, and he still gets to be Nightwing. Everything is perfect. Using the machine, the Bats invade Dick’s mind to bring him back. They don’t expect to find out just how much Dick has been hurting. ✦ Maybe, just maybe, he should call Bruce…Nah. by memearchive, dick & bruce & jason & tim, rape aftermath/read the tags, 5.8k “Yeah, 34 deaths, 35 including Blockbuster, is a lot. Yeah, his home and everything he owns is gone. Yeah, his safehouses and everything in those are all ash, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he gets it- but he’s dealt with loss before, and maybe 34 is a bit high, and maybe he could have stopped Tarantula, but he’s never been like this before. Not even after his parents’ deaths, and that’s a terrifying thought. Was this really the thing that broke him?” ✦ right through my walls by wingdingery, dick & bruce & barbara & jason & alfred, 6.6k Sure, yes, Bruce and Jason attacked Dick and left him injured—but they were under the effects of fear toxin, so it wasn’t really them. Dick’s gone enough rounds with fear toxin to understand that. He’s perfectly fine with what happened. Now if only the rest of the family would believe him. ✦ gray by iselsis, dick & bruce, 1k Grief demands to be felt, but Dick doesn’t have to be alone. ✦ How Far Love Goes by BeatriceEagle, bruce & dick & jason & tim & cass & barbara, comics violence as child abuse/read the tags, 99.5k Plenty of family reunions end in fighting. Not that many end in explosions. A mass Arkham breakout brings all of Bruce’s children home, and with them, all the drama, secrets, and anger they’ve been keeping for years. Amidst rising tensions and a mysterious new threat in Gotham, the family has to work together to round up the rogues—and confront their feelings about each other. BATFAM FIC RECS - THROW BABY DICK AT BATTISON, C'MON DO IT, IT’LL BE HILARIOUS: ✦ romanticize a quiet life by lwbones123, dick & bruce & alfred, 3.7k it’s parent teacher conference day for battinson and his robin ✦ when i call you come home by lwbones123, dick & bruce & alfred & jim, 3.2k ummm battinson and his robin and angst and hurt/comfort idk how to summarize this one so you just have to trust me ✦ Dark by Cant_Smoke_Eggs, dick & bruce & alfred, 1.9k aka Baby Dickie thinks Bruce is a Vampire. Bruce thinks he’s figured out he’s Batman. Misunderstandings and Identity reveals ensue. ✦ Just Two Dads Having a Chat by red_jaebyrd, dick & bruce & clark & kon, 1.5k “I’m not giving you an interview, Kent.” “You always say that, and I always tell you that I’m not here for an interview,” Kent laughed, not at all bothered by Bruce’s aloofness. “We’re just two dads at soccer practice having a chat.” ✦ I Don’t Think Like I Should by shipNslash, jim & barbara & dick & bruce & cast, 13.2k Featuring unmasking vigilantes as a father-daughter bonding activity, awkward small talk between two dads (both at crime scenes and PTA meetings), and Babs and Dick’s natural progression from classmates to besties in the name of chaos. This is a direct sequel to I’m a Good Pretender but can be read as a stand alone.
#lumi.txt#dc#batfam#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#clark kent#fic recs#batman fic recs#long post#feral gremlin length post
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On your birthday
Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem! reader
Warnings: descriptions of labour & delivery, medical procedures + trauma, coarse language
Read other parts here<3
Watching you sleep, Janis’ mind drifts. It thinks about almost everything that’s happened lately in the last two years. Your miscarriage, her unsuccessful IVF attempt, your second and current IVF attempt — successful, but gave you hyperemesis gravidarum or HG. Your ‘morning sickness’ lasted nearly all day and well over your first trimester. Janis’ heart ached every time you had to get sick, but seeing you just persevere through it all, it made her gain a whole new sense of admiration for you. More so now, because of HG, you’ve developed emetophobia. A lot of things happened in the last couple of years, but one thing was always for certain. You were so loved and because of that, you knew you’d be okay.
You were right around 20 weeks along, but the nausea still showed no signs of calming down, much to your dismay. This morning was just like the others, you woke up when the sun’s barely risen because of the nausea. You sat on the mattress, legs hanging over the side as you stared at the bathroom several feet away from you. Janis was asleep behind you, but she’d be awake too in about a minute or so. Once she hears you puking into the toilet.
You’ve begun to dread the act of getting sick ever since you’ve had to deal with HG. It made you incredibly anxious, and afraid to do so. Once you felt the warmth of a hand on your back, you knew Janis was awake— barely awake. You sat in the bathroom to wait, Janis trailed right after you. Holding onto your hand, she gives it a squeeze. Her other hand was kept on your back while you started to lean over the porcelain.
Janis would never admit it, but she cringes every time she had to hear a retch. It doesn’t physically affect her, but she just wishes this would stop. She wishes that you didn’t have to go through this terrible thing.
You were numb to it, the ‘morning sickness’ but Janis knew about your recently surfaced phobia. You were always in tears after you walked out of the bathroom and unable to go back to sleep out of fear that you needed to run back into the bathroom for another round of upchuck. Janis handed you the half-eaten packet of li hing mui. The only thing that’s ever worked to help you feel better. Ever since years ago during that god awful stomach bug in high school.
The last five months felt like a drag because of this, you were practically on a liquid diet most days. You were just lucky you didn’t end up in the hospital needing IV fluids. You somehow felt okay enough after awhile to keep quite a bit of water down.
You went back to sleep after taking a few sips of water. You knew you wouldn’t be able to stomach any solid food until well after noontime. Maybe even later. Janis laid down with you again, but stayed awake. “I know, baby. I know.” She shushed, “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”
Absolutely defeated, you just quietly laid there hoping the sickening feeling would go away quickly. You weren’t sure how much time went by before you fell asleep again, but the last thing you felt before you drifted off was Janis pecking you on the forehead. “You’re alright, I promise.”
You lounged in bed when you woke up again later that day, but you made sure to get up and walk around the room at least. You had the habit of doing that since you hated sitting around for too long. Eventually, you dragged your feet and wound up outside. Janis looked up from her laptop. She was sitting by the coffee table. “Hi, honey.” She smiled, “Want anything? Aunty already cooked some rice and chicken soup.”
“I’ll try some water, then the soup.” You nodded, sitting down on the couch, right next to her. She patted your knee, “Sure thing, baby. I’ll go get you the water first, okay? Why don’t you watch some TV?” Janis hands you the remote then headed towards the kitchen to get you a cup of water. Once you took that, she went back to the kitchen to get you some of the food. “Thanks, Jan.”
“No problem.” She smiled again.
“Have you eaten yet?”
Janis nodded, “Mhm. I did, then I’ve just been here writing a little bit.”
“Gotten anywhere on that latest chapter yet?” You asked, curious.
“As a matter of fact, yes.” She smiled proudly, “Writer’s block is gone.”
You chuckled, “I’m glad.”
“Eh, this is just for fun. I’m just happy my real job allows me some free time on the side to do more of what I enjoy.”
“I know.” You hummed, “Sorry I haven’t been much fun lately.”
“Honey.” She squinted at you, “You literally have a human being growing inside you. You’re doing a lot while being pregnant and that is fucking amazing. You’re going to work, you’re taking care of yourself, your body, you’re taking care of the baby by taking care of yourself. It’s hard work.”
“I know, I know.” You sigh softly, setting the cup down then you picked up the bowl. “It just feels like I have a case of cabin fever or something. If I’m not at work, I’m at home, if I’m not at home, I’m in the hospital for an appointment.”
“I get it, honey. But you can’t push yourself to go out all the time if you’re feeling nauseous. I don’t want you to be hurrying around trying to find a bathroom or a trash can.” Janis saved the document, shut her laptop then sat next to you.
You swallow a mouthful of the food then set the bowl down. “I just…it feels like my life is slipping away even though I know I have a huge responsibility to keep myself safe so the— so our baby is safe.”
“When the HG goes away—”
You chuckled wryly, “Do you really think it would go away? Some people have it from start to end.”
“Yeah, some people. Other people don’t.” Janis held onto your hand, squeezing it, “Feeling okay? Do you feel sick again?”
“I’m okay, I just wanted to eat slowly.” You told her, “Doing better than yesterday, I think.”
“That’s so good, baby.” She smooched you on the cheek, you chuckled. “Want me to feed you?”
“What?” You squinted at her, nearly choking on your saliva.
“You heard me.” She grins, “My girl doesn’t have to lift a finger if she doesn’t feel like it.”
You snorted, “Right.”
“Right.” Janis squinted at you too, “Come on, it’s not the first time I’ve done this.”
“What is this, practice for feeding our baby solids?” You laughed, but let her do it anyway. Not for long though.
“Well, if you want it to be, sure.” She teased, picking up the bowl, scooping a spoonful of food and putting it up to your lips. You ate it. “Thatagirl.”
You chuckled, chewing the food and cautiously swallowing it. You were nervous about food these days because the nausea was coming on at the most random moments. “So, names?” You brought up.
“I like what we settled on a few days ago. Kalia?” Janis hums in thought, “Gotta figure out a second name then decide the order of it too.”
“Uh…” You thought aloud, “Reese? Sadie? Lisette?”
“Okay, all those flow really nicely together, baby. I really don’t have just one favourite.”
“You know…” You continued, “I thought of Jean. It just sounds kind of the same but I wanna name her after Regina— somehow.”
Janis gasped, “Aaand that name combination has just made its way to the top of the list. That is a great one.”
“Don’t tell her though.” You replied, eating another spoonful, “I want it to be a surprise.”
“My lips are sealed.” Janis snickered, kissing you on the cheek.
You and Janis were home alone for most of the day since Carl and Grace had work, but you two sure made the most of it— for as long as your body allowed you to. You watched some movies with Janis, then played some board games. Once that got boring, you two decided to bake some cookies. Oh, and the real fun part? This afternoon, you actually felt well enough to leave the house for the beach. So…you and Janis took a little walk while the sun started to set. “Wanna sit down? I brought a beach towel.”
You snorted, laughing, “What, are you gonna help me up from the ground, then?”
“Of course, baby.” She squints, expression slightly amused.
“It’s okay, I’d rather not sit.” You declined in the end.
After a good walk along the beach, you and Janis began making your way home where you two passed by a shave ice shop. “Can we get one to share?” You stopped in your tracks, tugging on her arm.
“Of course!” Janis agreed, she was holding onto your hand, thumb brushing over your knuckles. “You pick the flavours, honey.”
“Okay, guava and cherry?” You asked.
“That sounds good, hun. Yeah.”
By the time you two arrived at home, the shave ice was half finished. Carl and Grace were also already home from work. “Hi, ladies.” Grace greeted. “I see you two went out for a walk, that’s nice.”
“Sure did.” You say down on the couch, “Got some shave ice, too.”
“Yum, that’s good. Stay hydrated.” Grace replied.
“Been trying my best to, aunty.”
“How are we feeling about dinner tonight, sweetheart?” Carl asked.
“Better today, actually. Still going to be careful though.”
“Aaand we’re laying off the eggs.” He decided. You chuckled, “What ya making?”
“Well, the rice is ready. And the miso soup is simmering, but you need some protein.”
“Dare I say I’m craving some Spam?”
He nearly cheered hearing that, you haven’t requested anything for your meals for ages because of how bad the HG was. But it seems like it was ready to become history.
————
“Pleeeeeease.” You sulked.
Janis bit back a laugh, looking right at you. You sighed.
“I’m just messing with you, honey.” She said with the biggest smile still on her face. Then, she sat down next to you, cupping your cheek, “What do you need?”
“You know what I need.” You squinted at her.
“No, I don’t.” She hums, “Tell me.”
“Nooooo.” You whined.
“Oh.” She chuckles, “You want…me.”
“Please?”
Janis grins, leaning closer to your face. She held your face in her hand, pressing her lips against yours. “Don’t have to plead, pretty girl.”
“Pretty, my ass.” You mumbled into the kiss.
“Excuse me?” She broke away from the kiss, “Mm-mm, no. Don’t say that. You…you are so beautiful.”
“It’s been so hard, I’m honestly growing sick of what I see in the mirror. I know it’s normal to gain weight now, it’s healthy. But I’m not used to it.”
Janis pecks you on the lips again, “I hear you. It’s a tough thing to get used to. But…watching you go through day after day of so many symptoms but you still press on…you’re incredible and it’s been making me fall in love with you over and over again.”
“God, you—” You took a deep breath.
“Don’t you ever doubt that.” Janis stroked your cheek, “You’re so loving, so caring, so…so damn strong. I wish I had an ounce of your strength to be dealing with puking multiple times a day. I get that it’s scary, but that’s what I’m here for. I’m here to be your partner, ride through the scary times with you. Or anything else.”
You sniffled, avoiding her gaze as you swiped your tears away. Janis tilted your chin, making you look at her again, “On a lighter note…you know what’s one of my favourite things about you being pregnant?”
You shrugged, looking at her while tears still welled up in your eyes. Her eyes flicked downwards and you followed the gaze. “These ladies getting big.”
You let out a chuckle, “Damn.”
Janis grins, “I have a joke for you.”
“What?”
“What kind of bees make milk?”
You squinted at her swallowing thickly.
“Boo-bees.” She answered with a cheeky grin. Thanks to the hormones, you weren’t even sure if you wanted to cry or laugh. “I really— set myself up for that one.” You let out a shaky breath. “Eyes up here, tit head.”
“Oh, you’re a sassy one today, eh?”
By the end of the conversation, your urge came back and she helped you out. Like Janis had promised, you got a very restful nap out of it. “I love you, every version of you. Every bit of you, every single day.”Janis ran a hand through your hair, then it carefully rests on your side as your eyes fluttered shut. You smiled feeling her hand on the bump, caressing it tenderly, then, the baby kicks in response. Which Janis feels, and made it made her smile even wider. “I’m literally watching a miracle happen right in front of my eyes, y/n. I’m so in love with you, and I adore you, baby girl.”
————
“So…an episiotomy is going to be a hard no.” You reiterated.
“That’s gonna be put down in your file, y/n.” The doctor assured, “In fact, I’m writing it in there now. And I highly doubt an episiotomy’s going to be necessary for you, so don’t worry. ”
You smiled, relieved.
“Do either of you have any questions for me before I let you ladies go?”
“Nope.” You and Janis answered, nearly in unison, “Thanks, Doctor Aukai.”
“Of course. Take care, you two. I’ll see you again in two weeks. During which we can start talking about birth plans.”
“Alright.” You stood up from the chair, the doctor hands you and Janis a copy of the ultrasound photo each. “See you then.”
On the drive home, you and Janis made a pit stop at the usual shave ice shop for a treat. “You’re back!” The owner waved, “What’s it gonna be today?”
“Aloha.” Janis chuckled, waving back.
“Hi, Allie.” You replied, glancing at Janis, “Wanna pick today, Jan?”
“We’ll take a lychee and raspberry.” Janis decided.
“Perfect, coming right up.”
“Go sit down, baby.” She rubs your lower back. You nodded, “Okay.”
Couple minutes later, Janis joins you at the table. “Here we are.” Janis pushed the bowl closer to you so you could have the first bite.
“Thank you.” You murmured, eating a spoonful of the cooling treat.
She just smiled at you, watching you with such loving eyes. Your smile mirrored hers, “Here, eat it.”
“Is it good?” She asked, scooping a spoonful for herself with her own spoon.
“Always.” You confirmed.
Now almost at 30 weeks, your HG has finally gone away as of week 24. Your appetite was fully back, and you generally had an easier time despite the expected aches along with the increased need to pee. You weren’t too bothered by it, your days were a breeze lately compared to your first six months or so. Once home, you took a shower and then settled down on the couch to video call Regina and Cady. It’s been a weekly thing ever since moving here with Janis.
“How was the appointment, baby?”
“Everything went great. Another one’s scheduled for two weeks. How are you guys?”
“Jace just got over a cold, so we’re doing better today.” Regina answered.
“Have you two started thinking about birth plans yet?” Cady asked.
“We’ll be finalising that at the next appointment but we’ve started to tell the doctor some little things that we want or don’t want.” Janis answered first.
“But we’ve discussed it.” You chimed in, “Decided on being at the hospital for it. I don’t want to risk anything after the last time.”
“Whatever feels right for you, baby. You got this.” Regina replied. “But like I told you, when you asked me. I will be there, okay? I promise.”
“Okay.” You flashed a crooked smile, “And now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta pee. Again.”
“Okay.” Cady and Regina chuckled, “Be careful.”
After the call, you and Janis sat on the front porch to get some fresh air, enjoying a couple oranges straight off the tree in the front yard. Like always, Carl and Grace were cooking up a storm in the kitchen. Janis wanted to help, but they said it was fine and insisted for her to just sit and keep you company. You gave up on asking to help out in the kitchen awhile ago— they didn’t want you to lift a finger in that aspect.
“Dinner’s ready.” Carl stepped outside to inform you and Janis. And as the both of you stood up from the chairs, Akoni had just got home from work. “Hi, Dad!” You and Janis greeted him in sync.
“Hi, ladies.” He quickly walked up and gave you both a hug, “How was the appointment today?”
“All’s good.” You told him as the three of you entered the house.”Little breathless though.”
Janis had her arm around you right up until you had to sit at the table. Her gaze seemed slightly worried at your last statement. “I’m okay.” You said quietly, grabbing a spoon and beginning to eat. As per every Friday, there was a family game night after dinner. Grace finally let you help out in the kitchen— washing the dishes after the meal. You were so happy to do it, she found it adorable.
“You really don’t have to, y’know?”
“I know, but you guys have been taking such good care of me. It’s only fair that I help out wherever I can.”
She smiled, handing you a plate to dry.
“Has a name been decided yet? You don’t have to share it if you don’t want to. I’m just curious.”
“Yeah, we’ve decided on one a few weeks ago.” You told her while placing the plate on the dish rack. While you and Grace finished up washing and drying the dishes, Janis and Carl were setting up for game night. Of course, these days…game nights were limited to card or board games given the obvious. They wanted you to be included, and you wanted to be included. Game nights were fun. They always were.
“Aunty, take four cards. I saw that.” Janis laughed, “Don’t hide that card, put it back.”
“Kidding, kidding.” Grace chortled, placing the +4 card back on the deck and took four new cards like she was supposed to. “Your turn, y/n.”
“Lucky me.” She chuckled, placing your final card on the deck since it matched. “I win.”
“Okay, it’s getting late.” Carl decided, “Good game, but we all better head to bed soon, huh?” Janis headed to the bedroom with you while Carl and Grace packed up the cards. After brushing your teeth, you sat down in bed to wait for Janis, watching her as she did the rest of her nighttime routine. “Lie down.” She says. “I’m okay, Jan.”
“I know you are, but you’re tired. I know that.”
You laughed lightly, shrugging, “Don’t wanna sleep without you though.”
“Aw.” Janis cracked a smile.
You leaned back against the headboard and stared at the ceiling. “You know sometimes I can’t believe all this is happening. We’re in our twenties, and have a lot of life ahead of us but it’s just so crazy to think about and look back on.”
“I know, honey. Time waits for no one.” Janis said back while drying her face with a small towel. “But it’s been pretty great, we’ve got to experience a lot already and things are going well. And I have you, so…I’m pretty much the happiest person alive.” She sat down next to you, properly pulling the covers up. “I’m glad I’m through life with you.” You looked at her, holding onto her hand now. She squeezed your hand, leaning closer to kiss you sweetly.
“We’re doing great.” Janis said softly, “So great.”
“Jan? Can you help me with something?”
“Sure, what is it?”
“It’s really itchy.” You exhaled labouredly, “Can you help me apply the cocoa butter? I haven’t done that yet today.”
“Of course, honey.” Janis got out of bed and went over to the dresser to grab the container.
After your next appointment, you decided it was a good time to take time off work until further notice. You were getting closer and closer to your due date and being anywhere but home made you more nervous than you’d expected to be. The birth plan has also been finalised and the hospital bag was to be packed starting now.
“I’ll see you in a week, y/n. Take it easy.” Dr. Aukai smiled.
“See you in a week.” You nodded firmly. Eight weeks to go.
The fatigue started to affect you again, making you sleepy at every waking moment. Your feet hurt and your ankles were swollen, it wasn’t a pretty sight. But you still had two months to go. Not to mention your sleep’s been restless lately since you had to be up nearly every hour to use the bathroom since the baby’s head was pressed up against your bladder. You’ve even resorted to sleeping while sitting upright, otherwise breathing was a chore. But, you were now closer than ever to seeing your baby. You were more than ready to meet her.
————
“Wait at home?” You gulped, shifting uncomfortably, unintentionally letting out a groan when the pain wrapped around you again. Janis grabs your hand immediately, letting you squeeze hers to divert the pain.
“Breathe.” She reminded, “Deep breaths, honey. You’re okay.”
With her reminders, you snapped out of your little spiral and breathed through this wave. “That’s it, honey. You got it, you got it. I’m right here.”
“Oh, my God.” You murmured, breathing out heavily as you felt a surge in pressure of sorts between your legs, “Why is it so bad?”
“Well, it's been a couple hours since the pain started.” Janis mentioned, “Things are progressing. But breathe, that’s important.”
You leaned your head on her shoulder, wincing as the pressure between your legs felt like it wasn’t going to let up. “I — my God, I think my water’s gonna break.” You told her.
“It’s okay, let it happen. Your body knows what to do.” Regina sat down next to you. She’d just put Jace down for a nap in the guest room, “You’re already sitting on an absorbency sheet.”
You whined, taking in a sharp breath, “Baby. We got you, don’t worry about anything but bringing your little girl into the world.” Regina shushed.
You just sat on the couch or walked around the house to pass time. They made you food, since you could still eat…being so early on in labour and all. You only ate some of it thanks to the poor appetite caused by the increasing pain. Oh, and the nerves. Lucky you, Regina and Cady have only just arrived last night. “Take a lap with her again.” Regina encouraged, “Might help.”
You nodded, Janis helped you stand up then walked around the house with you. As nervous and as tired as you were, you wanted to try everything you could to get things going.
Eventually, the sun set, and you had to go to bed. That was a good nine hours since the pain started. Well, your sleep turned out to be quite restless for the most part. Your eyes snapped open, you felt the worst pain of all so far. With your head rolled back, you reminded yourself to breathe through. Until the nausea hit you, that is. It was so abrupt, you didn’t even make it to the bathroom.
“Fuck!” You cursed, pissed off that you’ve left them a mess to clean off the floor. Cady appeared in the doorway soon enough, Janis was still asleep. She’s been as tired as you were. “It’s alright. Sit down, do you want some water?”
You shook your head vigorously, eyes screwed shut. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. We know what we’re dealing with here, no biggie.” Cady smiled, assuring you. “How long have you been up?”
“Don’t know.” You chuckled wryly, “Pretty much the whole time, I guess. I keep drifting in and out of sleep. Every time I get a contraction, I wake up.”
“Are they closer together?”
“Like less than ten minutes, maybe?”
“Well, they were fifteen minutes apart.” Cady nodded, “So yeah, you’re getting closer. Anything new?”
“No.” You moaned in pain. Then you felt some movement on the mattress, behind you. Janis had just woken up. “How are you feeling?” Janis asked, the sleep evident in her voice.
“Less than ten minutes apart now.” You informed her, “And I just threw up.” She rubs your back, “You could’ve woken me up, honey. I wouldn’t mind.”
“It’s okay, it happened too quickly anyway.” You sniffed, “I’m gonna go get something to clean—”
Cady objected before you could finish talking, “Let me do that. You just rest as much as you can right now.”
“We can probably head to the hospital soon.” Janis rubbed your back as she spoke, “You wanna take a quick shower to freshen up before we grab the stuff and go?”
“Okay.” You looked at her, then you nodded.
“Okay, come on. Let’s do it.” Janis pressed a kiss to your cheek then guided you to stand up slowly.
After helping you with the shower and getting dressed, Janis loaded the needed items and hospital bag into the car. Cady woke Regina up, and she got ready in record time. You’ve never seen her get ready this quickly. Regina was tagging along from the beginning as discussed, Cady was staying behind at the house to watch Jace. And she’ll be there later on in the day.
Regina drove, and Janis sits in the back with you. Halfway through the drive, you’ve began to doubt your pain tolerance because it currently felt like your insides were getting ripped apart every time a contraction wrapped around your abdomen and radiated down to your legs. Janis just held you and whispered sweet words and assurances into your ears. So she kept you as calm as you could be in a time like this.
Once at the hospital, you signed in and was promptly taken to your room. “I’ll be back in a few to set an IV plug for you, in the meantime— here’s a hospital gown for you to change into.”
“Okay, thanks.” You told the nurse before reaching for the open-back gown. The nurse leaves, and you started to undress so you could put the gown on. You had your back facing your sister, your front facing Janis. “You good?”
“Yeah, just tired and in pain. No big deal.” You joked. Janis stood closer to you, smiling a little sadly. She kissed the top of your head next. “Is that still a no to the epidural?”
“Yeah.” You let out a strained reply.
“Okay.” She acknowledged, pressing her knuckles up against your lower back to counteract the pain you were beginning to feel.
“Thanks.” You hummed, leaning forward onto her, “That helps the back pain.”
“Good to know. That’s good, babe.” Janis said, then felt your body tense up as she noted the change reflected on the fetal monitor. “Breathe. In and out, honey. In…and out. You know what to do, that’s it.”
“It’s bad.” You deadpanned, trying not to focus on it. Though it was beginning to seem like something you could no longer ignore, or get distracted from.
The hospital ward’s door opened up, creaking slightly. “Okay, y/n. Time for the IV plug, Dr. Aukai said you’re gonna be started off with some antibiotics for prevention.”
You nodded in silence, still seated on the side of the bed, leaning onto Janis. The nurse, whose name was Maia— you caught a glimpse of her nametag. “Which hand do you want it on?”
“The left’s easier.” You muttered, side of your face smushed against Janis’ chest. You hear footsteps…Regina was walking over to get nearer to you. You didn’t even care about how ridiculous you seemed right now, as long as you felt comfortable, you were staying in the position until you weren’t.
“Okay, hun. Deep breath for me on three.” Maia requested, “One, two, three.” You felt the sting of the needle and yelped, Regina was holding onto your right hand somehow. You then felt the elastic band that was tied around your forearm get taken off. “All done.”
“Thank you for doing it in one try.” You managed a laugh.
“Did my best.” Maia smiled, “You’re all set. We’ll come in to check on you every hour or so. Feel free to let us know if you have any questions.”
Regina sat down on an armchair near your bed, Janis stayed put. “Dr. Aukai has been informed, so she’ll be coming by to check on you too in a bit.”
————
Dr. Aukai was the first to check on your progress and told you how you were doing. “Seven centimetres. You’re getting there. Progressing very nicely.”
Maia and the other nurse on duty did the following two checks, during which you all learnt that you were finally fully dilated and ready. Hearing that, you were in a brief state of disbelief. But then, the contraction hits and pulls you back into reality in no time. “I’ll go get your doctor.” Maia said, briskly leaving the room. The other nurse started setting everything up, including stirrups for your legs in case you wanted to use them. Janis had been holding onto your hand all the while, but what sent a wave of tears through you was Regina squeezing your hand and kissing the back of it then brushing over your knuckles — right at the moment where you felt the fear and intense anxiety kick in, altogether with the adrenaline. It did not mix well with the pain.
You locked eyes with Regina, then Janis. You looked ridiculously unkempt now, but Janis still looked at you like you were dressed to the nines. You swallowed thickly, fighting the urge to throw up. Regina got the attention of the other nurse. “Zelda? Can she get another dose of the anti-emetic?”
“Su—”
“I’m here.” Someone bursts into the room, startling you. Regina looked at the person with wide eyes, displeased. “Let’s get things moving. I’m the oncall doctor, Aukai’s in an emergency c-section.”
“What?”
“Did you not hear what I said?” The older lady squinted at you, grabbing a stool and sitting on it, in the space between your legs. “Zelda, if she has to vomit, just have her let it out, why give her the medicine again?”
“But she doesn’t need to throw up. She just feels nauseous—”
“Do you have to push?” The doctor stares at you, “Okay, push. Ten counts, don’t stop until I tell you to.”
Regina side-eyed the woman. What was she rushing you for?
You didn’t have time to care, and just started bearing down. It seemed like such a long time, and you could barely breathe already.
“Can I stop—”
“Keep going.” She insisted. You were near tears already, and exhausted without question. Akoni was beside Janis, watching it all unfold. He was dead worried.
“y/n, listen to your body.” Akoni said, “Stop if you need to stop.”
“Sir, are you the doctor or am I?”
“You clearly aren’t fit to be one if you’re gonna be rushing her like you have somewhere better to be.” Akoni snapped.
The doctor stayed mum, but you saw the annoyance on her face and you felt her hand putting pressure on the area to slow down the pushing as it was, so why the heck was she forcing you to push for so long?
She glances at the fetal monitor, noticing another contraction starting, “Push.” You did so anyway, you were feeling the urge to. It was just that this doctor was pissing you off and not at all easing your nerves like Aukai had been.
This stupid annoying voice continued to order you for the next thirty minutes, you were in an extremely bad mood now— the complete opposite of how you should be feeling in a time like this. You feel her hand leave your body, that same irritated look on her face.
“You’re gonna need an episiotomy.” The doctor decided, “It’ll be better than if you tear.”
That was not true.
“I’m going to give you a shot to numb the area.”
“What?” Janis stopped the doctor, “Did you not read her file? No episiotomy.”
“And you want her to deal with a rip?” The doctor huffed, sticking the needle into your skin without warning. You grunted feeling the sensation, a tear slipping down your cheek. Janis wipes it away quickly. “You feel that?” She asked, poking and pinching your skin. “Yes.” You told her, “Why aren’t you listening to me— yes! I feel that. Stop.”
In the next second, you felt the worst pain you’ve ever experienced. It stung, you screamed your head off and just burst into tears. “What the fuck! Why didn’t you listen to me?!” You shrieked. The pain made your heartrate go up and your stomach to do an unwanted somersault. Akoni gets handed an emesis bucket, of which you puked what little you had left right into it. You were shaking, overwhelmed by the pain and in shock. “She’s only been pushing for 30 minutes, not three hours.” Regina snarled, “How dare you do that when she told you not to. She didn’t need it.”
“Yes, she did.”
“No, she did not.” Akoni was furious. Janis and Regina knew right away, he was done being civil. To add on to it, you feel the baby’s head exit you, followed by the rest of the body. It felt like your lower half got lit on fire. The pain was unbearable, and you had no idea what was even happening.
What just happened, took place in less than a minute. In seconds, even, giving you no time to fight back, giving them no time to stop her. You felt incredibly helpless and betrayed. You heard cries, then a weight on your chest. It was the baby— your baby. And you couldn’t even focus on her. You held her, allowing some skin to skin but you just weren’t processing any of it. This doctor ruined an important milestone for you and you were bitter about it. So bitter.
The baby was then whisked away to be checked and properly cleaned. You were still struggling to breathe and make sense of this mess.
“I’m gonna stop you right there.” Janis stood closer to the doctor, “Don’t you dare stitch her up like that. She said she could feel it when you tested it, numb the area properly. Otherwise, you can leave right now and get her a new doctor.”
Your mind was a blank from the second you felt her cut you, you saw the doctor and Zelda checking weighing and measuring the small baby. You felt Maia massaging your abdomen to help with the delivery of the placenta. It hurt, but nothing compared to what the doctor did to you. Janis had her arm around your trembling frame as tears continued streaming down your face. The only thing you failed to notice was that Akoni and Regina were no longer in the room. “You’re okay, my love.” Janis held you as close as she could, “You’re okay now.”
Thankfully, your daughter was handed back to you once the doctor started to stitch you up— you couldn’t feel anything this time around, fortunately. “Mom, you wanna fill in the birth certificate?” Maia came closer with the document and a pen.
“Sure, of course.” Janis carefully let go of you and stood next to the table, taking the piece of paper and the pen.
Janis quickly wrote down the name and filled in the rest of it. She wanted to get back to you. And luckily, you didn’t even notice that the doctor had left. You couldn’t stand anything about that woman.
It took some time, but you were finally calm after about an hour. The more time you spent with your baby girl, the more at ease you were. Janis even found the time now to take some photos, like she had meant to do much earlier. Regina and Akoni returned soon after, in better spirits and excited to meet the new baby.
“What’s her name?” Akoni asked quietly, admiring the newborn in your arms.
“Kalia.” Janis answered.
“Kalia Jean.” You added on.
Regina froze, looking at you looking at her. You laughed, “Yes, Reg.”
“You—”
“I named her after you.” You confirmed.
“God…” Regina smiled in disbelief, “You didn’t have to.”
“I wanted to. We wanted to. You are a badass and who better to name her after than you? You mean the world to me. And now I have her, and she means the world to me, too. It’s fitting. You taught me hope, she was the hope after that loss. I couldn’t have thought of a better person to honour than you.”
“It is fitting.” Regina sniffed, “Oh, I’m so proud of you, baby. Okay, now you three get closer, I wanna take some pictures. Come on, look here.”
“I am so proud of you.” Janis captured your lips into her own, “So fucking proud.”



🏷️Tag list:
@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128
💭A/N:
We’re getting closer to the end😩
#auli’i cravalho#janis ‘imi’ike#renee rapp#regina george#mean girls 2024#mgmm fics#wlw fanfiction#queer fiction#lesbian character#multi part fic#x reader#reader insert#reader imagine#wlw#gxg#wlw romance#cw: medical#character x reader#lgbqtia#lesbian#family
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Kill me slowly, Baby you know I don’t fucking mind
warnings: vent fic about illness, mildly graphic depictions/imagery of physical and mental illness
tim drake centric
title: life waster by corpse (don’t look at me ok im embarrassed)
word count: 912
beta read and edited by the lovely @vespertilionis
Do not cry. Do not cry.
That’s all Tim can tell himself as he stiffly walks back to his car. He knows how this is going to go, he’s not too sure why he got his hopes up. He feels like an idiot.
Finally, in the safety of his car, he actually looks down at the referrals he has been given. One for a CT scan and the other for an overabundance of blood tests. He didn’t ask for either. All he wanted was a referral to see an ENT, but the doctor hadn’t even looked at him before she started talking over him and suggesting other ideas.
There’s a few things we can do before you see an ENT. It’s been a year since he started feeling like this. All he wanted was to see a specialist, someone who would know what was wrong.
It’s probably not what you think it is. Probably?
You’re crazy, nothing is wrong with you.
Nothing is wrong.
Nothingiswrongnothingiswrongnothingiswrong
He throws the referrals across the car before slamming his fist into the steering wheel and letting out the loudest scream he could.
It peters off into a sob when he realises he can’t hear anything. Well, anything but a high ringing. He sits there hyperventilating in his own version of silence.
He calls the CT place while driving, desperately trying to sound like he hasn’t been crying. He almost breaks down when the receptionist mentions he had the same test done around this time last year.
As he pulls into the driveway of the manor, he takes a moment to calm down. Firstly, because he doesn’t want to talk about it, and secondly, because he feels guilty for being upset. At least the doctor was running tests. Sure, she didn’t really listen to him and suggested tests for allergies and anemia, which he is sure he didn’t have, but she still decided to do tests. Other people have been sick for years and don’t have doctors listen to them, so he should be grateful.
Maybe she doesn’t think he’s crazy.
He tries not to think about the fact that if the CT scan comes back and shows his sinuses blocked, the doctor might put him on his fourth round of antibiotics. Even after the other three rounds have completely tanked his immune system. Or that if the blood tests show he is anemic, she might focus on that instead of the actual problem. Like the horrible constant congestion that makes him feel like his brain is being compressed into a liquid that’s going to explode out of his ears and nose. Or that if he does have the disease he thinks he does, he might lose his hearing. He really doesn’t want to think about that part.
When he enters the manor, he heads straight for the cave. He’s hoping for the perfectly healthy distraction of vigilantism. His hopes are immediately crushed when Bruce turns to him and asks him how the appointment went.
“Oh, uh, it went ok. We’re redoing some of the tests we did last year,” he says awkwardly, wishing for once Bruce would notice he didn’t want to talk about it. Once again, his wishes go unheard as the older man just looks concerned.
“You don’t seem too happy about that.”
No shit, man, no clue how you got the title of world’s greatest detective.
He tries to push away the resurfacing anger by laughing, but it comes out wrong.
“Yeah well, last time the results didn’t really get us anywhere. So, I was kinda hoping she would try something else.” Another laugh. Bruce nods and turns away. Either he finally got the hint or doesn’t know where to go with Tim’s response.
Relieved that the conversation is finally over, he starts heading to the computer when he hears Jason scoff.
“Ya know what I think you need? Some concrete to harden you up.”
Harden you up. Fucking whiny baby.
Harden you up. Ungrateful child.
Harden you up. Nothings wrong with you Tim, you’re out of your mind.
Tim stops in his tracks and turns his head slowly to face the older boy.
“What?” he says coldly, causing Jason to raise his hands in surrender.
“Hey! I was just joking with you.” he laughs, and Tim’s eye twitches.
“No, explain it to me, so I can understand how it was supposed to be funny.” He can feel the anger rising again. Jason lowers his arms, looking guilty for his ‘joke’, but Tim couldn’t care less.
“I just meant that you complain a lot. It’s kinda miserable.” He answers, sounding defeated, but again Tim couldn’t care less.
“Why do you think that is Jason? Do you think I’m complaining because it’s fun?” “No—“ “No! I’m not! I am fucking miserable! I’m exhausted and dizzy and I feel like my brain is rotting in my skull! And I’m sick of people not listening to me and thinking I’m fucking CRAZY!”
His throat hurts from screaming. He’s hyperventilating again, but he can’t hear it over the sound of the ringing again. It hurts. He shakes his head to try and clear it, but it just makes the world spin around him. A hand reaches out to steady him but he pushes it away.
“Don’t fucking touch me.” God, his voice is always so much louder when his ears are blocked.
He stumbles up the stairs, knowing he’s probably stomping, but he can’t hear that either.
#ew i hate tumblr formatting#i’ll link the ao3 post as well but in a bit#sorry tim love you bud#tim drake#jason todd#he’s also here#batfam#chronic mystery illness#i’m fine guys 😀#fanfic#batfamily fanfic#tim drake fanfic#batman#bat family#longer fics
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