#i don’t wanna live a life i just wanna sleep
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venomnyx · 3 days ago
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FAVOURS - Josh Washington x F!Reader AO3 // Playlist
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WORD COUNT - 5.2k SUMMARY - The Washingtons invite you to stay with them in their lodge over the summer while you heal from a rough breakup with who you thought was the love of your life. One warm evening, when Josh teaches you to smoke for the first time, he offers you a mutually beneficial proposition that you find impossible to resist. TAGS/WARNINGS - female pronouns and anatomy, best friends older brother, recreational drug use (weed smoking), shitty ex-boyfriend, candid conversations, sexual proposition, friends with benefits (with feelings?), sneaking around, oral (fem receiving), outdoor sex, dialogue-heavy, not beta read NOTES - i need this man carnally.
prequel to the fool card, can be read as a standalone fic
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The lodge runs cold this time of night, even in the summer.
You tip-toe down the hallway, sneaking past the twin’s bedroom, arms wrapped around your middle as goose pimples drift on your arms. A soft slip of pink light drifts through the underbelly of their door, and, warmed by nostalgia, you fondly remember that Hannah never liked sleeping in the dark.
The stairs creak as you make your way to the kitchen. The varnished wood of the bannister feels glossy and cool beneath your tentative fingertips, steadying your gentle footsteps so as not to disturb anybody.
The expansive windows stretch the further you walk into the main living area, overlooking the mountains. It’s a daunting sensation to realise you’re so small and insignificant, sucked in by the misty rocks and endless snow, ribboned with twilight shades of silver and blue. You quietly wonder what mysteries lay beyond, stretching out in haunting invitation.
His voice comes out of nowhere. “You lost?”
“Jesus, Josh. Scared the shit out of me.” Your voice is a sharp whisper, but the narrowed-eye look you shoot him only makes him laugh— a warm rumbly thing that makes your chest flutter.
“Sorry,” he says, but his mischievous tone is anything but. He glances you up and down. “Cute PJ’s. What’re you doin’ up?”
You suddenly feel exposed in your pyjamas, a little slip of black silk shorts and a matching vest.
“Don’t make fun of me,” you scowl, crossing your arms over your chest after fiddling with the thin strap on your shoulder. “I couldn’t sleep. I just needed some water.”
You pause, hesitating as if waiting for him to say something.
His smile grows almost imperceptibly, time dragging like slow honey drips as he drinks in your bashful fidgeting and challenges your fast-slipping eye contact.
Eventually, he nods directionally without his gaze leaving you. “Kitchens that way,” he says, and the tension bubble pops between you.
You roll your eyes. “I know, asshole. I practically live here.”
He grins. “That so?” He calls after you as you walk away, mock surprise in his tone. “Guess I never noticed you before.”
You stick your finger up over your shoulder, but there suddenly isn’t a trace of cold in your body.
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“Hey, you wanna join me outside for a bit?” Josh asks, peeking his head through the door as you sip your water. “Place gets kinda lonely at night.”
His voice remains low, unconvinced— like he’s not sure you’ll agree. You’re not entirely sure you should. You and Josh aren’t exactly close— friends, sure, but only through his sisters, but his invitation feels warm, not awkward.
Moments later, after brief deliberation and realising you have nothing to lose, you follow him through the side door, the midnight summer air a balm to your skin.
He’s leaning over the balcony railing, eyes cast over the mountain treetops. A thin line of pungent smoke curls up from between his fingers and disappears.
He turns to you with a raised brow when he notices you watching. “Busted,” he says, smirking softly as he lifts the joint to his mouth. “You gonna rat me out to my parents?”
You roll your eyes. “Who’d believe me?”
He laughs, gesturing toward you and offering the joint without preamble. You freeze, hoping to not look like a total loser, but Josh catches your hesitation with perceptive eyes.
“What, never done this before?”
“Honestly? No,” you answer, trying to fight the warmth on your face.
“Really?” He grins, eyes sparkling. “Wouldn’t have expected that from you.”
“Go ahead, laugh it up,” you roll your eyes, crossing your arms defensively. “I never cared to get around to it.”
His grin softens, holding it out to you, cherry-tipped and releasing smoke in gentle waves. “First time for everything?”
You take it off of him, deciding why not. You try mirroring his movements before, drawing in a shallow breath, figuring it works just like smoking a cigarette. The smoke, sharp and unfamiliar, stabs as it reaches your throat. You cough reflexively, flushing as you sputter.
“Oh, God— that sucks.”
He laughs fondly, somehow making you feel a little less embarrassed, and gently takes it from your fingers, leading you over to the plush outdoor bench. A hand on your shoulder as you both sit.
“First times always rough. You gotta do it slower— just- just relax, alright? It’s not a big deal. I’ll show you.”
You swallow, watching as he demonstrates, pulling in a slow drag and letting it fill his lungs before releasing it. There’s something almost hypnotic in the way he does it, so comfortable and at ease, like he did this all the time alone and you had no idea. He hands it over to you, guiding your hand around it carefully, his fingers brushing yours, lingering just a beat longer than they have to.
“Start small— just enough to get the feel.”
Warm under his watchful stare, you try to follow his instructions. You find it’s easier this way, only a slight burn as it passes your throat, gentle when you exhale, if a little irritating. His smile grows.
“There you go,” he praises, clapping your shoulder once before releasing you. “Doesn’t suck so bad, does it?”
“Sure, whatever,” you say, handing it back to him. He only half-chuckles at your dismissal, not put off in the slightest.
The silence settles comfortably, interrupted only by the soft hiss and flicker of the joint as he inhales. He tilts his head, watching the smoke disappear into the night air, expression distant. Thoughtful, like something crosses his mind.
“You and your boyfriend broke up?” He asks with a squint.
You peer over at him, holding onto your shins as you tuck your knees into your chest. “You know about that?”
“Sure. My sisters gossip,” he says, and you swear his eyes give you a once-over when he hands you the joint. “You were together for a long stretch, huh? You wanna talk about it?”
You take a hit, letting the smoke sit whilst you take a moment to hesitate. Josh isn’t exactly your confidant, but there’s something about the late-night, the quiet vulnerability of your interactions, that tempts you to lower your guard.
With an exhale, “It’s… not worth your time.”
He remains steady, sincere. “Try me.”
You sigh through your nose, staring at the sky above as if gathering strength.
“Well, I loved him, but he went to college, hooked up with another girl in the first week. A… mutual friend.”
“Oof.” He releases a low whistle. “Bummer.”
You frown sourly, gaze cast downwards. “Same old story.”
“You don’t have to say that… you seem upset about it,” he observes.
“I’m over it,” you say quickly, defensively. Tense shoulders when you speak. “I mean, I’m over him. He’s… whatever.”
He lounges back, sensing there’s more to the story. “But…”
“I think I’m just more angry with myself because I already felt like I was doing charity work,” you admit after a beat of consideration. “You give the ugly-funny guy a chance and he suddenly thinks he’s some…” you trail off, laughing bitterly. “He was so insecure, you know? Hated that I hung out with guys like you and Matt and— ugh. He was my first love, my first— …he’s not even worth the breath. Wasn’t even a good fuck.”
His eyebrows flash up. “Oh?”
Instantly mortified, you place your hands over your warm face, head swimming behind your closed eyes. “Oh my god, just forget I said that—”
“No, no—” he struggles to speak between bursts of laughter. A quick cough into his fist to compose himself. “Nothing wrong with being… open. Honesty is good.”
You groan, but the weed dulls the blade edge of your humiliation, making it manageable. It doesn’t quite cut your fingers when you hold it. A giggle escapes you from the ridiculousness of it— a light thing that seems to shake some of the weight off your shoulders, like blowing dust off an old book.
“I don’t know why I said that,” you mutter, eyes teary from laughing despite yourself. “It’s probably just the weed talking. Don’t laugh, Josh.”
“I’m not laughing!” He insists, but the teeth-flashing grin says he’s full of amusement.
You shoot him a glare and he laugh-yells when you swing for him with a bench pillow.
“Hey! I feel sorry for you, if anything. Never had him show you a good time.”
“We had good… times,” you say, but your tone fails.
“Uh-huh,” he responds, unconvinced. “Sounds like ugly-funny guy wasn’t all that.”
You drag your hands down your face. “Okay, fine. Honestly, no— he wasn’t. He barely paid attention. Like I was just… there.”
There’s something cathartic about it, opening up to the person you never thought you’d be having this kind of conversation with. It’s hard, with the twins— Beth isn’t exactly romantic, and Hannah’s all rose-tinted glasses. Josh’s perspective is… different. Refreshing. Exciting?
“That blows,” he shrugs. “Guess you got unlucky. Firsts shouldn’t have to suck that bad.”
You hum, closing your eyes as you bask in the warmth of your high, and his company. “I’m probably oversharing.”
“Nah, I get it,” he says. You peek at him and he’s all soft-smirks and understanding eyes, regarding you with low lashes. “We all got… we all got needs. Like cracking your neck, right? Doesn’t have to be a big deal.”
You nod in shy agreement.
“Just sounds like you need someone who, y’know… understands the art a little better.”
Your heart stutters behind your ribs, wondering if you really picked up on a subtle proposition or if you’re just imagining things. You’re higher than you need to be, but you still inhale another drag with shaking fingers as if the act itself will soothe you.
“Oh, is that right?”
The corner of his mouth ticks with mirth, eyes flickering something dangerous when he glances over your figure, tongue darting out as if drinking you in.
“Yeah, you know. Some better options.”
Your neurons are like butter in a pan: melting, sliding from one thought to another. You very suddenly can’t stop imagining what it would be like to have sex with Josh Washington— and not in the intrusive thought, “ew that’s my best-friends-brother” way, but in a way, that’s far, far more tempting.
You raise an eyebrow, trying to keep it casual despite the sudden warmth growing in your shorts. “Got any recommendations?”
“Could be me,” he murmurs, voice low and playful. Half-serious, half-joking, a droplet suggestion in a gentle current. “Just as a… temporary thing, you know? We’d be doing each other... favours.”
Your pulse skyrockets, throbbing in your throat and between your thighs. A thrill, driven by your sudden insatiable curiosity. But still, a stab of reluctance pokes through the mist of your weed haze.
“Hey. You can forget I asked,” he says gently, meaningfully. “Just a… thought.”
You can feel yourself getting embarrassingly wetter by the second, desperate to ease the tension with an excuse, any excuse. No, no, God no, you shouldn’t indulge in the forbidden fruit of your best friend’s older brother, of your friend, even if the thought of getting your desperately high sexual frustration quenched is insatiably desirable.
“Josh. We’re both high.”
“…But you’re down?”
You throw him a look, soft, puppyish. Please don’t make you say no because you’re not sure you can.
“Sure, we’re high. Not stupid. Not drunk.” He senses your trepidation. “It doesn’t have to mean anything if that’s what you’re worried about. We’re friends, right? Besides, we’ve got the whole summer together, so…”
“…Might as well make the most of it.”
He pauses, bottom lip caught between his teeth in thought, and then a nod. “Exactly.”
“Jesus,” you murmur, head swimming after your final smoke.
His eyes don’t leave yours when he has his turn. A quick puff between his teeth, smoke misting around him in the low lighting. A rushed inhale, the cherry glowing, a hiss when he exhales. There’s something deliberate about the way he’s looking at you.
Without breaking eye contact, he flicks the roach over the railing, the dying ember tumbling into the dark. His hands quickly find the back of your neck decisively, thumbing along your jaw, pulling you towards him in a fluid motion, angling his head to meet you— and then he’s on you. His lips capturing yours with a reverent ferocity, an urgency that catches you off guard.
He tastes like acrid weed smoke and something subtle, sweeter, like hard candy lingering on his tongue.
A moment of sobriety snatches you from the moment when you consider what his sisters — your best friends — might think if they found out you were planning on screwing their brother on the family holiday they invited you to.
You pull away, just enough that your noses brush. “Josh…”
“Shh,” he coos, sweeping you up with his attention again. You don’t object, too paralysed by the moment to deny yourself of this. You high-pitch moan against his mouth as his tongue strokes yours, turning gelatinous and pliant when his hand slips down from your shoulder to your breast, to your waist. Gripping, staking claim, just a slip of silk between his fingers and your skin, warm where he holds you.
The kiss intensifies, his mouth moving over yours in a way that’s both gentle and demanding; he’s greedy, savouring every second and every tremble of your hand as you try to steady yourself with fingers bunched into his hoodie. He thumbs along the pulse in your throat and you feel him smile into the kiss, relishing, and you realise he’s loving this— loving kissing you with a slow, aching patience that leaves you needy and breathless.
A hand slides down your body to your thigh, smooth against bare skin. His thumb pressing just enough to make an indent in the soft flesh, fingertips edging to the hem of your pyjamas and your heart jumps.
“This alright?” He asks, as his fingers form a gap between the waistband of your shorts and your skin.
“Mhm.” It pitches high. 
“You’re really hot when you’re excited.”
A hand on his neck. “Let’s hope you back up that talk then, huh?”
His fingers feel cool when they slide against your middle, hot and wet. A shuddery breath escapes you as he rubs slow, once, twice, slickening up.
“You normally this wet?”
“God, d-don’t,��� you pant, clutching his shoulders. “It’s been a while.”
He laughs once in a breath, working his wrist slowly. “Don’t worry. Me too.”
Your breath hitches as he rubs circles into your clit, heat liquidising and pooling into his touch.
And when he lifts from the couch, fingers retracting from your heat, you suddenly become very shy and very aware that you’re outside. He starts tugging your shorts down, and he shoots a grin in response to your reflexive tense.
“What, lost your nerve?” He murmurs, lowering to his knees. “It’s just us.”
You flash with knowing and suddenly freeze. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Why not? Isn’t this the best part?”
“Um…” you chew on your lip.
Recognition flickers on his face. “Damn. Your ex really was an asshole.” But when he looks up at you again, it’s fond. Sweet.
“Relax. I’ll take care of you.”
You squirm as he pulls your shorts down, silk over flesh, no underwear beneath, eyes hungry. Too embarrassed to watch him as he parts your knees and presses kisses to your inner thigh, traces the blade of his tongue across a stretch mark, too horny to resist. A flash of eye contact— the last chance to back out, but you’re so swept up in the moment you’re not sure you could form the words.
His lips are quick against your warm middle, tongue parting you deliciously slow, a hum of delight and pressure when he pushes deeper. A bated breath escapes you in a shuddering pant, fingers knitting into his hair, all challenging words and witty remarks dissolving on your tongue.
Yeah, you’ll never look at Josh Washington the same after this.
“Fuck.”
He moans contentedly, pleased with your vocalisation, and the vibrations ricochet up your spine.
Can’t remember the last time someone went down on you. Your ex never made a big fuss about it, not that he ever got you there often. You bubble with over-sensitivity, twitching when he licks you, a gentle push on his forehead.
“Slow down,” you stutter.
He kisses your thigh. “Sensitive, huh?”
“Shut up.”
But he listens— pace gentler, more controlled. Flat-tongued strokes that made you shudder, liquid heat pooling against his mouth. So sweet when he suckles on your clit, laps at your core, arms caged around your thighs without possessiveness. Every sweep is like a countdown, weeks of grief and heartbreak a distant memory with his face in your pussy.
Tension coils and everything narrows down. You’re not outside, not getting eaten out by your best friend’s older brother, not doing anything you’ll regret.
You cum quick— quicker than you have with any previous partners. It’s tingly, a rise and fall that leaves you breathless, knees locking, heart pounding. He releases his from you with a soft, wet pop, rising to his feet and white-knuckling a fist into the backrest of the bench. A quick body scan, a tick of his head to see if you’re alright.
When you nod, his free hand reaches to sink two fingers knuckle-deep, parting your slick velvet with ease as you still pulse rhythmically in the aftershocks.
Oh God it’s vulgar, the sounds you make. Honeydew-wet, drip-dropping onto his palm as he curls upwards, a high-strung moan that you bite into the back of your hand. Scrunched eyes flickering up to meet him as he stares down at you, lips shining arousal-wet.
Need flashes through you, the incessant little voice in your head reminding you that this is your friend Josh vanishing with each jolt as he finger-fucks you. Not quite satiated as you squeeze tight around his fingers. You kiss him, lavishing the taste of his mouth, grabbing his wrist to urge him deeper, closer, ball of his palm atom-close to your still throbbing clit.
You break the kiss only to ask, “Do you have a condom?”
His fingers leave you, slick-wet on your thigh as he grips you. “In my pocket.”
“Did you plan this?”
He grabs the foil from his jeans. “Always gotta be prepared.”
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There’s no space to take pause and consider the consequences when he tugs you onto his lap, jeans pooled around his ankles, cock sheathed in the condom and hard in his fist— not that you could formulate a cohesive thoughtwhen you’re this high and this horny.
Nails curl around his shoulders for support, desperate to tongue the firm planes you feel beneath his shirt, suck on the pulse that throbs in his neck, but the barrier of friendship draws an invisible line. He steadies you with a hand on your hip when you lower yourself, unhurried at first, just enough to stretch you out.
Shivery eye contact urges you on, and you slowly slide down, inch by eye-rolling inch, and then in one final swift drop, you’re pelvis-deep, wincing against the pleasure burn of the intrusion in your middle. A gasp escapes you, and his eyes find yours.
“Shit,” he murmurs, voice hoarse, breaking into a half-laugh. “You okay?”
You nod, but you’re trembling as you adjust to the size of him. “Yeah… yeah.”
Misty with sweat from the connection, your forehead settles against his, lips parted. You take a moment, adjust to the feeling, the weight of him inside of you. He’s as big as you thought he’d be— not that you’d tell him, as if his ego needs inflating anymore.
“It’s just… a lot.”
“I know,” he says, softer.
The world narrows down to the sensations: the midnight air cool against your skin, intimate heat pooling where you and Josh join, the feel of your heartbeat thrumming so hard your fingers shake against his shoulders. His touch slides down your back, under the small slip of your vest, brushing your sides with the same care he’d use to handle something delicate.
“Take your time,” he murmurs, voice low, strained. His stroking hands land on your thighs, thumbs pressing soothing circles into the bones of your hip. Grounding, despite the haze of arousal clouding your judgement.
You nod, swallowing hard, gripping his shoulders as you slowly lift yourself. Lungs tighten with caught breath at the way his cock shifts inside of you, the drag overwhelming and delicious— a punch of liquid-heat pleasure that makes your legs tremble when you lower yourself again, a slow descent that has both of you groaning softly. A gentle rhythm, a burn in the thighs.
“Feels good,” you stutter.
A short laugh, drifting into a tight sigh. “Too good.”
Trickling slow-building pressure settles low in your belly and has your hips shifting, testing. Tentative at first but growing bolder with each, slick pass. His grip tightens when you move, jaw clenching, throat bobbing when he swallows hard.
“I— fuck,” Josh breathes, fingers digging, the corner of his mouth ticking into a smirk despite his strung-tight tension. Abs flexed to gather control, breath hitching when you take him a little deeper. “That’s it, just like that.”
The praise shoots through you like a spark. Your body reacts instinctively— grinding against him, chasing the friction that licks pleasure in your belly like curling smoke. Slow, decadent, spreading, spreading…
“Jesus. You’re unreal.”
“Yeah?” You breathe, movements quickening, testing the waters of his endurance. Lips close to his jaw. “You like it?”
His response is immediate— a low, throaty groan as his hips tilt up to meet yours. “God, yeah,” he rasps, head tipping back, exposing the curve of his throat, the chords bobbing as he swallows thickly. “Fuck. Look at you.”
A smile teases the corner of your lips as you work him with your hips, spurred on by the thrill of his wearing tether.
“Did you really never notice me before?” You ask sweetly.
His head rolls back further, laughter torn through a sharp inhale. “Course I did. I just said that because…”
You tilt your head innocently, rhythm never faltering. “Because what?”
“It’s hard to focus when you keep— fuck— clenching like that,” he breathes after a squeezed blink, voice strained. “I said it because… shit, because you looked so good. Never— never let myself think about you like this before.”
Giddy from the affirmation, you bite on your lower lip. “So you think I’m hot, huh?”
“Don’t start.” His groan carries a weak laugh, but there’s no mistaking the warmth in his eyes. “You’re the one who came downstairs looking like that.”
You laugh breathlessly, a mix of indignation and amusement. “Hey, you invited me out here! I was just getting water.”
“And yet, here you are,” he shoots back, eyes dazed as he struggles to focus, but his smirk still bites mischievous.
“Josh!” You gasp, half-laughing. “You’re taking advantage of me, you know. I’m emotionally vulnerable.”
His smirk softens, shifting into something more genuine. “Yeah? You look real vulnerable right now.” His hands slide to your ass, squeezing with a force that makes you stutter a gasp. “The way you’re moving? Pretty sure you’re the one taking advantage of me.”
Your lips part with a retort sharp on your tongue, but his voice drops to a low murmur that sends heat pooling in your stomach.
“God, keep going. Feels so fucking good.”
Whatever witty comeback you mustered dies on your tongue, replaced by a shy moan as his hands guide you, hips sliding up to meet yours. Hands all over his chest to steady yourself, tingly to the bone when coiling tension blooms at the base of your spine. Pressure builds with each rolling thrust you muster, sharp with a pleasure ache when he nudges deeper.
“Josh,” you whimper, hands smoothing up to grip his tense shoulders. Your motions grow desperate, needy. Bursts of pleasure each time you snap together. Your breath comes faster, body trembling.
“Yeah?” He murmurs, voice strained but tender, teasing. “You close?”
You can’t form words, too lost in the pleasure building inside of you, so you frantically nod.
“C’mon,” he mutters, tone syrupy low and coaxing. His thumb slips between your bodies, finding your clit and applying pressure and circles in time with his thrusts. It’s like a strike of lightning, head tipping back as you arch into him. “That’s it. Let me feel you. I got you, I got you—”
His words shoot arousal straight to your core and your body seizes, locked-tight until the dam breaks, white-hot and all-consuming. Shuddering as you pulse, white-knuckle bunching his hoodie in your fists. Wave after wave of pleasure washes over you, walls clenching in rhythm around his unrelenting thrusts.
His hips stutter against your clenching, faltering when you fall apart in his arms. He slows— riding out your aftershocks, thumb still pressed against where you flutter and pulse.
“Shit,” he mutters, leaning back, drinking you in. “You’re so fucking beautiful when you come.”
You flush warm. “Don’t say that,” you stammer.
“Can’t help myself,” he replies gently, thumb circling you.
Shivering, you place a hand on his forearm, breath coming in short, uneven bursts.
“Josh— wait. Sensitive.”
He slows immediately, hands leaving you to cradle your back. “Sorry,” he says, softer. “Got carried away.”
You whimper when he spreads your thighs, an impossible stretch, and drives faster. Too much, too much, too—
“I know, I know,” he breathes. “Just a little longer. I— shit. I’m so close.”
His palms glide under your ass, fingers gripping, lifting and lowering you in a rhythm that’s all his, each rut drawing broken noises from both of you. When he finally lets go, with a collision that notches him deep, it’s with a groan that’s half your name half a sound that you’ll never forget. His breath is shaky, face wincing, as he pulses strongly inside of you, spilling into the condom.
For a long, stretched moment, the only sound is your mingled breathing, bodies still trembling in the aftershocks of strong-beating hearts, cock still twitching within you. The mountain air, cooler now against your sweat, grounds you. Eyes slipping closed as you collapse against his chest, his fingers up and down delicate over your spine.
“Jesus,” he says after a while, ragged when he catches his breath. There’s a subtle laugh to it, more out of disbelief than humour.
You mirror him, shaky and breathless when you laugh. “Yeah.”
The silence spreads thin again, palpable with a not-quite awkwardness, but heavy with something you can’t quite name. Slowly, you ease yourself upright, head lifting to meet his gaze. His eyes are softer now, reverent but searching as if looking for some reassurance.
“You okay?” He asks, voice careful, full of trepidation, a little earnest and vulnerable in a way that makes your chest ache.
You nod, smiling tiredly. “Yeah. I’m okay. You?”
“Better than okay,” he admits, grinning sheepishly but all dopamine-warm, sugary sweet in the afterglow. “Kinda feel like I should say thanks or something.”
“Please don’t.” You snort, rolling your eyes as you carefully pull away from him, hollow where he slips out of you soft and wet. Legs gelatinous when you stand, the high buzzing anxiously in your chest now you’ve settled.
He laughs with more strength now, lighter, more familiar. Some tension eases when you pull your shorts up, hyperaware of how exposed you are. You glance at him as he buttons his jeans, knotting and disposing of the condom discreetly.
For a moment, neither of you speak. He leans back on the railing, staring out at the mountains. You follow his gaze, letting the breeze fill the space between you.
“So,” he says after a beat. “We’re… good, right?”
When you glance at him, his expression is carefully neutral. Guarded, like he’s trying not to give too much away.
“We’re good,” you echo, lazy-lidded but mostly sober now.
“Good… good,” he trails off, hand knocking against the railing. “Don’t wanna make things weird, you know?”
“Bit late for that,” you tease, but then you lean next to him affectionately, platonically. “It’s not weird, Josh. It doesn’t have to be. Right?”
He turns to face you, his grin turning playful again. “Right.”
“Not getting cold feet, are you?”
“No, no— I don’t regret it, or anything,” he says, a flicker of uncertainty in his tone. “Just gotta make sure where we stand, you know?”
“Uh-huh,” you answer, not entirely convinced. “You just didn’t think I had it in me.”
He laughs, gaze dropping as colour rises on his face. “Shut… shut up.”
The quiet settles over you like the weight of the mist hanging over the mountains, heavy and expectant. Josh leans against the railing, his arms crossed as if he’s bracing himself, his gaze drifting to the lodge and then back to you. The air is cool now, biting against your sweat-slick skin, but his eyes— soft, searching— feel warmer than the sun.
A deep breath. You smell pine and mountain dew and a distinct linger of his cologne somewhere on your skin. When you open your eyes, he’s staring at you.
“You going back in, or… staying out here for a while?”
You glance over your shoulder where warm, inside light floods from the sliding doors. He looks on, expectantly. You have to practice some self-control when you speak, a near-melted puddle of organs and bliss from how he looks at you.
“I should probably head back in,” you reply.
His expression doesn’t falter, but the sweetness in his eyes dips a little.
“Yeah. Probably a good idea.”
You hesitate, caught in the lingering gravity between you. Thoughts bob like waves in your head, incessant badgering like: you’re high, it’s hormones, he’s just your friend’s brother.
But it’s not “just” anymore.
“Guess I’ll, uh… see you in the morning?” He says, uncertain as if unsure how to part ways.
You nod, trying to play it cool, but your heart flutters. “See you in the morning.”
He smiles faintly, the mischievous edge creeping back into his expression. “Sweet dreams.”
You roll your eyes as you leave, softened by his teasing demeanour, and you’re unable to bite back your smile.
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You feel like you’re floating in your bed, light and airy when you stare up at the ceiling. Mind anything but clear, higher now that you’re alone in the dark.
You try to steady your thoughts, but they keep drifting back to Josh: the curve of his throat, the way he looked at you like he wanted to know more. Cells, pulled apart, pressed onto a slide, microscopically observed.
The heat of his touch lingers on your skin, the ghost of his fingers and lips making your heart ache with something tangled and intangible. Anticipation? Guilt? Excitement?
The summer had barely started— and it already felt like it was spinning out of control. You’re swept up, dictated by the gravity of his shit-eating smile and the feel of him inside of you.
With a sigh, you close your eyes, the sound of the breeze outside lulling you into a restless sleep. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you wonder what tomorrow will bring— and whether Josh will be waiting for you with that same knowing smirk, with more favours to offer you.
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divider credits: @saradika-graphics mdni credits: me tag list (let me know if you want to be removed!): @imiqz, @fromjas, @luhvbot, @spinback-kiva, @nx2grace, @strwbrrynd, @fashominnie, @meeganmerkman222333, @arachine, @xxreginaxx, @xprloki, @screaming-potato, @onmyknees4kai,
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mymoodwriting · 1 day ago
Text
Royal Blood
Female!Reader x Alpha!Seonghwa
Genre: A/B/O, Royalty
Warning: Solitude, Anxiety, Late Nights, Sleep Deprivation, Promises, Manipulation, Star-Gazing, Spacing Out, Swords, Death Threats
Words: 5.9K
Chapter Three
(Prev//Next) (@starillusion13 @yizhou-time @hannahdinse8)
Prompt: You were a princess in name alone. Unable to perform any of the duties that come with the title. It seemed to be your destiny to live a quiet life. That is until you met someone who refused to see you silenced. Perhaps your fate was wrong all along.
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“I’ve never been given flowers before…”
You couldn’t help but stare longingly at the flowers Seonghwa gave you. In the morning you looked around for a vase, getting some water and setting up the flowers by your window. You made sure they were soaking up the sun, watching them with a smile on your face. Although despite the joy they brought you they did also make you worry. These flowers weren’t ones you grew yourself, so surely someone would question where they came from. You weren’t sure what kind of excuse you’d give, or what would be believable. Then again you made yourself anxious for no reason.
When your ladies or eunuch came by they merely did their duties. You tried to hide your flowers, but it made no difference. As far as you knew they didn’t even notice them. To a degree it made you sad the flowers weren’t important enough to be noticed, but at the same time it should have been expected. You lived such a quiet life, the little things never stood out. At least you didn’t have to worry about hiding them and could admire them all the time. What you were really nervous about was Seonghwa. He said he would visit you again, and you excitedly waited for that time. The first two nights after his visit you didn’t expect him, but on the third you stayed up late.
You’d sit at your window, enjoying the night breeze and carefully tending to your gifted flowers. You’ve been doing your best to take care of them and make them last. It was easy to pass the time as you stared up at the stars, even starting to doze off. At some point you fell asleep, startled awake when you hit your head on the window sill. It was still dark out, but the moon was no longer up in the sky. The sun would be peeking over the horizon soon enough. It seemed that Seonghwa couldn’t make a visit tonight, but you weren’t upset. He was a busy person so perhaps tomorrow. You shut your window and went to bed. Of course you were tired by the time the sun rose, but you didn’t mind and just pushed through.
No one was around so there was no issue with taking a nap during the day. After all, that next night you stayed up again, waiting for your secret visitor, but no one came to see you. It did hurt, but you really couldn’t get your hopes up too much. Seonghwa surely had a lot of new responsibilities that kept him occupied, and a late night visit meant sacrificing his sleep. You napped during the day once more, and wondered if you should stay up late again or not. Ultimately you decided to sleep. He’d surely come visit you eventually, so you just had to wait. What really hurt your heart was the fact the flowers he brought you were wilting. The little reminder of him that you had was fading away.
“Princess… pst… y/n… are you awake…?”
“Hm…”
You groaned and slowly opened your eyes, looking around your room. Eventually your gaze turned towards your window, seeing a blurry figure waving. You didn’t need clear vision to know who was there, a smile appearing on your lips. You crawled over to your window, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.
“Hello, I’m sorry I had to wake you, but I really wanted to see you.”
“Hm… it’s nice to see you too.”
“Did you miss me?”
“I’ve been waiting…”
“I’ll take that as a yes.” Seonghwa chuckled. “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”
“It’s okay. I know you’re busy.”
“I don’t wanna be too busy to see you.”
“Then tell me about your days. I wanna know what a scholar does around the palace.”
“It’s very boring stuff.”
“I’m confined to my quarters all day. Anything outside these walls is interesting to me.”
“Very well.”
Seonghwa indulged your request and told you how he spent his days. He admitted he wanted to see you sooner, but his father swamped him with work. Once he was done with lectures he had tasks and different assignments to complete. He had to get through those first before he could even have a moment to himself. As tiresome as they were, they did take him all over the palace and gave him a chance to introduce himself to other officials.
“It sounds like you’ve seen more of the palace in the few days you’ve been here than I have my whole life.”
“That’s hardly fair.”
“You forget I’m also a lady. I doubt I have any business in many of the places you’ve been.”
“Still, this is your home.”
“It doesn’t feel like it… then again, I don’t think I know what a home feels like…”
“We’ll work on that.”
Seonghwa reached over to gently pet your head, continuing on as he told you about the things he did. You eagerly listened, loving the stories, but eventually Seonghwa noticed you dozing off. 
“I see someone is sleepy.”
“I’m not… I can stay up…”
“Sh, it’s okay, I’ll come again to tell you more stories. Although, before I go.” Seonghwa revealed a bouquet of fresh flowers. “These are for you. I’ll take the old ones.”
“No, wait.”
“Hm?”
“I wasn’t going to throw the old ones away… I wanted to bury them in my garden… I don’t want any gift from you to leave me…”
“Ah, how sweet. I’ll bury them for you on my way out then, but you must go to bed now.”
“Fine… can I at least make another request before you go?”
“Of course.”
“Don’t… don’t make me wait so long… please…”
“I shall do my best princess, but you know-”
“I do… as long as you return before the flowers wilt, then I won’t be mad.”
“I see, I think I can work with that.” 
Seonghwa grabbed the flower vase, taking out the old flowers and putting in the new ones. He made sure to arrange them nicely, noticing your gaze on him. There was a nice little twinkle in your eyes, one that was only for him.
“There you are. I shall see you again soon, my princess, good night.”
“Good night, Seonghwa.”
Seonghwa stuck around until you were tucked under your bed sheets, and he could be sure you’d be sleeping soon. He made his way through your garden, using the moonlight as his guide. Once he found a good place he dug a hole, burying the flowers he had given you before just as promised. Although he did take a petal, wanting a token of this gift as well.
♦♦♥♦♦
“The Crown Prince is here.”
Yunho was doing his best to see you, wanting to make sure you were alright, and also giving himself a break from studying. Although when he came to see you he immediately became worried. You were laying in bed, food half eaten. He quickly knelt down at your side, gently coaxing you awake.
“Y/n… y/n, wake up.”
“Hm… Yunho…?”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah…” You sat up, yawning. “What are you doing here?”
“Paying you a visit, but why are you in bed? Do you feel ill?”
“No, no, I’m just sleepy, that’s all. Look, I ate, and took my medicine.”
“You should have eaten everything.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Have you not been sleeping well?”
“I have. I’m fine, Yunho. There’s not much for me to do, so sometimes a nap is nice.”
“Hm… I’m not sure if I believe you.”
“Then call Yeosang, but I’m perfectly fine.”
“I’ll take you up on that.”
You rolled your eyes, pulling over your food table, deciding to finish up what was left so Yunho could worry less. He happily watched you, reaching over to pet your head and getting a smile out of you too. While you ate he looked around the room, thinking of things to get you so you don’t get so bored, but then his eyes landed on something peculiar.
“Where did you get those flowers?” Yunho asked. “You don’t grow those in your garden.”
You froze mid-bite, knowing exactly what he was talking about. You were trying not to panic, knowing your heartbeat could give you away. Despite all the time you had you never really figured out what excuse to give when asked.
“Did one of your court ladies bring them?”
“… yeah… I wanted something different… maybe I’ll ask for these flower seeds in the future.”
“I see. They’re nice. Should I send you flowers?”
“No, no, it’s okay.”
“Something else perhaps. New flower seeds for your garden?”
“I’d prefer new paints. It’s what I mostly do to pass the time.”
“Very well.”
Yunho stayed with you for a while longer, wanting to make sure you’d be alright and not sleep away your day. Even if you said you were fine he couldn’t help but be concerned. So of course he sent word to Yeosang to pay you a visit later. He had to be sure you were okay at any given time. Even though you had requested paints he did like the idea of sending you flowers, although he wanted to make sure they weren’t ones you had in your garden. He thought to send Jongho out to get some, but the boy let him know he didn’t have much knowledge of flowers, let alone which one’s the princess kept in her garden. It seemed that Yunho would have to venture out of the palace for that, so he’d have to plan for that in the future.
♦♦♥♦♦
“I feel like we’ve been seeing each other more often these days.”
“Does that upset you, princess?”
“Not at all. If anything, I feel bad for wasting your time.”
“I’m a royal physician after all.” Yeosang reminded. “It’s my duty to look after the royal family.”
“Well, once again, I assure you I’m fine, but my brother needs to be sure.”
“There’s no harm in that.”
“I know.”
“Then let’s ease his worries. I’m told you’ve been having trouble sleeping.”
“Not really… I just want to take naps during the day.”
“That’s new behavior for you.”
“So? It’s not concerning, is it?”
“Not at all, but it does sound like you’re not sleeping well at night.”
“I am.”
“Which I am inclined to believe. Medically speaking, nothing in regards to your health should be affecting your sleep schedule, but I’ll check just to be sure.”
“Go ahead.”
You were used to Yeosang’s check-ups, especially as they were happening more than usual. Although you did need to figure out a way to stop making your brother worry. It seemed that every little thing about you was cause for concern, which was far from the truth. Staying up late at night and sleeping during the day shouldn’t be a problem to him.
“Are you going to tell me why you’re not sleeping at night?” Yeosang asked. “I know there’s an answer.”
“… sleeping during the day just passes the time faster. I don’t have much to do anyway… besides, star-gazing is really nice.”
“I see. You’re not a nocturnal creature though, so you shouldn’t mess with your sleep like that.”
“I’ll do better.”
“I hope so, but just in case I’ll leave you with some sleeping aids. Take one before bed with water and you’ll be good.”
“Thanks, Yeosang. You can let Yunho know I’m doing okay.”
“I will. Now, since I’m here, is there anything you want to discuss?”
“About what?”
“Anything, really, but if you say you’re good then I’ll be off.”
“Yeah. I’ll see you next time.”
“Be well, princess.”
“I’ll do my best.”
♦♦♥♦♦
If Seonghwa truly had his way he’d see you every night, but that was a luxury he’d have to work hard for. Even if he had his own plans and desires, he still had his title to uphold. For now at least. So there were things that were expected of him as a scholar and a Park. Not to mention he knew his father would be keeping a close eye on his progress. Moreso to make sure he didn’t do anything to embarrass him or the Park family. Still, the thought of seeing you and winning your favor was all the motivation he needed. He knew you eagerly awaited his visit every night, which ultimately worked to help his plans.
Once he had a good routine every other second or third night he’d make the journey to your quarters. Each time he’d happily coax you awake, loving the twinkle in your eyes as you awoke to his call and realized he was there. You were so well behaved and eager for his company, Seonghwa knew he practically had you in the palm of his hand, but he would remain a gentleman. You needed care and love above all else. So he always made sure to bring fresh flowers, not wanting to repeat himself, nor give you anything that you had in your own garden. He had stuck around a while longer once you had gone to bed a few nights prior, wanting to get familiar with the space you called your own.
He felt your friendship was growing nicely, and as things progressed he did more. One night in particular he had brought over a blanket, wanting to lay under the stars with you. It provided you with some fresh air, and company. Seonghwa was more than happy to talk about the stars and the things he knew about them. It seemed you were fascinated with astrology, keeping your eyes glued to the stars while Seonghwa’s gaze remained on you. By now he had the temptation to kiss you, but he had to hold himself back. Time was on his side for now, and he could be patient. Of course late night visits could only last so long. While talking Seonghwa realized you were curled up next to him, dozing off. He chuckled and softly pet your head.
“I see it’s time for you to get to bed.”
“… it won’t be warm…”
“Shall I go with you then? I can stay until your bed warms up and you’re asleep.”
“… yes, please…”
“Alright, but you have to get up first.”
A pouty whine escaped your lips, but still, you had to get up. You sat up with Seonghwa’s help, rubbing the sleepiness from your eyes. The two of you went back to your room, Seonghwa making sure you were under your blankets before laying down beside you. He gently moved to spoon you, wanting to keep his word and warm you up. Although he had to be careful not to fall asleep himself. Late night visits took a toll on him too, but he could trade a good night’s sleep for this. He hummed for a moment, listening to your steady heartbeat.
“You know… we should try daytime visits.”
“… that’s dangerous… I wouldn’t want you getting in trouble…”
“I worry more about you, but I do really want to see you bask in the sunlight. To tend to your garden together. Perhaps even share a meal.”
“I don’t… sorry…”
“Hm? Why are you apologizing?”
You rolled over to face Seonghwa, seeing his curious eyes, but you could also see the exhaustion. You could get away with napping as you had nothing else to do, but Seonghwa didn’t share in that privilege.
“You must be tired during the day…”
“Ah, it’s okay. I function well on a handful of hours of sleep. I’d rather see you and lose some sleep than not see you at all.”
“But those short nights will catch up to you eventually…”
“I can handle it.”
“Do you want some sleeping aids?”
“Sleeping aids? Why do you have those?”
“When my brother caught me taking a nap one morning he got worried and had Yeosang look me over. He’s my doctor, and he gave me some sleeping aids, saying I shouldn’t mess with my sleep schedule.”
“Ah, are you saying I’m bad for your health?”
“No, not at all.” You chuckled. “My brother just worries about every little thing when it comes to me. Anyway, I don’t use sleeping aids, but it sounds like they’d work better for you.”
“Hm, perhaps they might.”
“Take them.”
You got up and brought over the little box Yeosang had given you before. You held it out to Seonghwa, who took it and examined the contents.
“He said you’re supposed to take one before bed with some water.”
“I’ll give them a try then.”
“Good. I want you to sleep well.”
“As long as I get to see you I know I’ll have sweet dreams. Now come on, you do need to sleep.”
Seonghwa tucked you back in under your blanket, humming to help soothe you. It wasn’t long before you were fast asleep, all warm and comfy. Seonghwa would have loved to stay longer, but that ran the risk of getting caught. He carefully moved away, being careful not to wake you. He took the box of sleeping aids and snuck out the window quietly closing it on his way out, then gathering up the blanket he brought. He still wanted to try and see you during the day but that would be a conversation for another time. 
♦♦♥♦♦
Hongjoong was always rather nervous as he stood guard outside the princess’ quarters, not wanting to get caught, or worse, get Seonghwa in trouble. He was only ever at ease once Seonghwa returned to his own quarters and turned in for the night. That’s when he got his much needed downtime, although on this particular night that wouldn’t be the case. As Hongjoong got ready to sleep himself he was approached by a familiar face. Words didn’t need to be spoken, so Hongjoong merely followed the other, soon finding himself a guest of Minister Park.
“Minister Park, how may I be of service?”
“There’s no need for such formalities. Sit, I merely wanted to speak with you.”
“Of course, minister.”
“I’m sure it hasn’t been easy keeping an eye on my son, but knowing you are with him puts me at ease.”
“I’m glad to be of service.”
“There hasn’t been any trouble, has there?”
“Not at all. Lord Park does well to maintain the honor of the Park family. All those who meet him are impressed by him and eager to build a relationship.”
“I see. He must be very busy then. So he’s no longer making late night visits to the princess?”
“…”
“He’s persistent.”
“Lord Park focuses on his duties first and foremost. His visits to the princess are only when he has time. He knows what the real priority is.”
“Hm… then perhaps it’s best to remind him who he is.”
♦♦♥♦♦
Seonghwa truly enjoyed being in the palace. It felt right, and gave him peace of mind. So he had no trouble stepping out into the nearby villages, happy to mingle with the locals knowing where he’d return to in the end. Today he wanted to do something special, wanted to try something new. Of course Hongjoong was against the idea.
“Visiting the princess during the day is very risky.” Hongjoong reminded. “You’re already bust as it is.”
“I have more time during the day. Besides, outside of meals and basic things, the princess is alone. There are many opportune times to visit her.”
“You could get caught at any moment.”
“That’s why I have you, and if you need any help we can ask Wooyoung.”
“Seonghwa-”
“I won’t do anything until I have a proper plan, so you don’t need to worry.”
“I still don’t think you should do this. Why don’t you just focus on your work in the palace? You have an incredible career ahead of you.”
“One I don’t care for. I can do better for this nation and you know it.”
“Seonghwa, you have to know that what you’re after is insane. If anyone-”
“I’m going to need you to run a little errand for me today.”
Hongjoong has wanted to dissuade Seonghwa from his plan of courting the princess since he was first told of it. He had been trying, but his pleas were falling on deaf ears. Of course many times when the subject of the princess was brought up, Seonghwa was quick to change things when he no longer wanted to hear Hongjoong try to reason with him. 
“What kind of errand?”
“I want you to deliver something to the princess.”
“What!?”
“She’s never been outside the palace, so I want to send her something unique. These vendors sell all kinds of little treats I’m sure she’s never had. Although I should probably speak with her physician to make sure I don’t send her anything that might make her sick.”
“I doubt her physician would share such information.”
“I have my ways of getting answers… today I want to send her little cakes, what do you think of these?”
“Seonghwa, this is also risky.”
“When I first wanted to apologize to the princess you suggested I send her a letter, what’s so different about this that now you disapprove?”
“I-”
“Just sneak into her quarter’s after her court ladies leave her lunch. Can you do that?”
Hongjoong sighed. “Yes, I can.”
“Good. I’ll take these then and write her a letter.”
Seonghwa paid for the cakes, eager to return to the palace and send off his gift. Although as soon as he was back he was approached by his father’s guard. He told the guard he was busy, but that wasn’t an acceptable answer. It seems his gift would have to wait till later.
♦♦♥♦♦
“Your Highness, the King requests your presence in the throne room.”
“Right now? Is there a reason why?”
“One was not stated, but we should not keep the King waiting.”
“Agreed.”
Yunho was rather surprised by the request. Even before the most recent events his father was not one to call on him so suddenly without reason. He couldn’t help this uneasy feeling but he’d have to face it regardless. He made his way to the throne room, his arrival being announced and then stepping inside. He expected his father to be alone, but instead he was met with some guests, and familiar ones too.
“Crown Prince, I don’t suppose you remember Lord Park Seonghwa, he is Minister Park’s son.”
“I do. I heard of his return and the two of us reacquainted ourselves.”
“That’s good. Since Lord Park has studied outside the palace he’d likely have good insight for you, so building a relationship would be wise.”
“I understand, your Majesty.”
Yunho knew the two of them would likely be pushed together by their fathers, but he didn’t expect this so soon. Still, there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with rekindling an old friendship. A few more things were mentioned but Yunho and Seonghwa were soon dismissed.
“How have you been adjusting to the palace?” Yunho asked. “It must be very different to the way you lived before.”
“It’s not too difficult to adapt, your highness.”
“I suppose this is still technically your home.”
“It always has been.”
“Come. We should talk in a more comfortable setting.”
“Yes, your highness.”
Things were a bit awkward between the two. Yunho would have preferred to build this relationship on his own, but there was no harm in getting to know each other sooner. If anything Yunho could help Seonghwa out as he settled into things at the palace. He brought Seonghwa over to a quiet place in the royal garden. Those from their entourage kept a few steps away and out of sight.
“I honestly thought you’d visit throughout the years, but I never saw you again until now.”
“I wanted to, but my father rejected the idea every time I brought it up. So eventually I stopped asking.”
“You’re back now though.”
“It was my father who requested I return, well, more like ordered me too. He sent me away and brought me back. I still don’t understand why.”
“Perhaps it was all for this.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve lived and studied outside the palace, something I could never do. Together we’d surely be able to take care of the nation. Just like our fathers have.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
For a moment the two just sat in silence, letting the sounds of nature fill in the empty space. Their fathers would surely expect them to spend more time together going forward, but maybe not right now.
“I’m assuming your father brought you to the throne room and interrupted your day.”
“More or less.”
“Then I won’t keep you too long. Feel free to stop by my library when you like. We should see each other more often and I would enjoy hearing some stories from your time outside the palace.”
“I’ll make an effort to see you at least once a week, your highness.”
“I’d appreciate that.”
Seonghwa excused himself, but Yunho remained in the garden for a while longer. He thought back to his childhood, and the times he and Seonghwa used to play together. He wondered if they could actually rekindle an old friendship. His father and Minister Park got along well, and the nation thrived. He wanted to do right by the people as well when he became king, and Seonghwa was meant to help with that. Although his thoughts soon drifted to his studies. Besides his desires he had other things to consider, and he was nowhere near making a proper decision.
♦♦♥♦♦
“Seonghwa, are you alright?”
Hongjoong was certainly worried when Seonghwa was summoned and wound up in the throne room. He waited anxiously outside, and only got more nervous when the Crown Prince arrived. He feared the worst, but was greatly relieved when Seonghwa stepped out unharmed. Although the fact he was accompanying the Crown Prince was odd. Now that their little gathering was over Seonghwa was clearly upset.
“He did this on purpose.”
“What are you talking about?”
“My father has been making sure I have my hands full with my studies and tasks, trying to make sure I’m too busy to do anything else. Clearly that wasn’t enough so he brought me before the King and Crown Prince. He knows if I refuse them it not only looks bad on the family, but most of all me. He’d have me disowned and exiled from the palace immediately, which would ruin my plans. He knew exactly what he was doing.”
“Then for now you must comply with his wishes.”
“If I want to remain in the palace, yes.”
“Perhaps your father doesn’t have ill intentions and is merely trying to help you. The Park family name is respected and you have a bright future ahead of you as-”
“An advisor? No, a servant, better yet a slave. I’ve seen what this nation is like and it’s time for a change.”
“Seonghwa, don’t speak like that. If someone hears you-”
“You may not have studied history as much as I have, but I can tell you that the Jeong family has been in power for too long.”
“If you want the throne so bad why don’t you just challenge the King?” Hongjoong snapped. “Or wait until the Crown Prince ascends, why involve the princess? You’re playing with her heart and manipulating her for your own benefit! Your father is trying to help you and remind you of what’s important!”
“My father… what did you tell him?”
“What?”
“The other night I was looking for you and saw you walking off with my father’s guard, now what did you tell him?”
“I didn’t-”
“No wonder he pulled such a stunt today. He needed to add to my workload to keep me away from my own goals!”
“Seonghwa, you-”
“Get lost.”
“What?”
“Get lost! I don’t need a traitor like you at my side.”
“I serve the Park family, Seonghwa, and that includes you. It’s my job to protect you from all kinds of danger, especially while in the palace.”
“I don’t need protection here, I need a friend, someone I can trust, and I mistakenly thought that was you. Now get out of my sight!”
Seonghwa took back the little bag of cakes Hongjoong had been holding onto, storming off, but Hongjoong followed without hesitation.
“Seonghwa, you’re being ridiculous, you-”
All of a sudden Seonghwa stopped in his tracks and turned around. He startled Hongjoong, distracting him as he reached for the boy’s sword and unsheathed it. The tip of the blade pointed at Hongjoong’s throat, keeping him frozen in place.
“If you’re a servant of the Park family then you should know by now I intend to make my own path. I don’t need a guard, I don’t need you, Hongjoong. I told my father to stay out of my way, and the same applies to you. Do not show your face to me again unless you are prepared to die.”
Seonghwa threw the sword to the ground and walked away, this time Hongjoong did not follow. He merely stayed put, watching the other leave, uncertain of his own future.
♦♦♥♦♦
Seonghwa couldn’t bring himself to see you, not after his day had fallen apart. As far as he was concerned everything that had happened so far would have no effect on his plans, but it would just complicate things. The little cakes he had gotten you were now cold, and he wanted you to enjoy them while they were fresh. He’d have to make another trip outside the palace and plan accordingly in order to deliver them himself. For now he just retired to his own quarters, needing some peace.
A few days later he went to visit you at night, keeping to his original promise of seeing you before the flowers died. Despite everything that twinkle in your eyes shined bright, like a beacon of light in the darkness. You loved star gazing, but tonight he merely wanted to hold you in his arms. Hongjoong’s words rang in his head since they were true, but not entirely, not anymore. He thought he could trust him, but he should have known better. You can’t really trust anyone in the palace. As he was lost in thought he was suddenly pulled back to reality by a hand running through his hair. His gaze met yours, seeing the curious and worried look in your eyes.
“Are you alright, Seonghwa? You seem… distant tonight.”
“Apologies. I have a lot on my mind.”
“You must really be busy.”
“Indeed I am.”
“Then… I won’t hold you to your previous promise anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t have to come before the flowers wilt… I can wait for you, however long that takes.”
“Princess, you don’t need to say such things.”
“You’re busy in the palace, and have many responsibilities to uphold. You’re also the son of Minister Park, there must be quite the expectations on your shoulders. I don’t want to be a burden to you.”
“Y/n.” Seonghwa reached over to cup your cheeks. “You’re not a burden to me. Seeing you brings me much joy, and it’s the best remedy after a long day. I’m still getting used to everything, so I apologize for being so distant.”
“I can understand you have your priorities but… I must ask…”
“Hm? What is it?”
“Why… why do you care about me? Why did you approach me? Why do you sacrifice and put yourself in danger to see me?”
Seonghwa chuckled softly. “I wanted to see what had become of you after all these years… but also… I know what it’s like to be alone when there are so many people around you. To be at arms length from your parents… it may not really be my place, but I don’t want you to be alone.”
“Are you alone in the palace?”
“It seems I am… besides you of course.”
“But you have your father, and guard.”
“Not really, not anymore.”
“… I’m sorry…”
“You don’t have to apologize. I know the palace is a lonely place, which is all the more reason to come see you. I want to keep our promise, and I want to see you during the day.”
“Seonghwa, you know-”
“I do, I do, we’ll talk about this more some other time. Let’s just enjoy the present.”
Seonghwa pulled you closer, wanting to keep you wrapped up in his arms, safe and sound. He hummed softly and closed his eyes, listening to your steady heartbeat, providing him with comfort. He was slowly dozing off, a lot of exhaustion catching up to him, but then he heard a tapping on the window. His eyes snapped open, immediately on alert. For a second all he caught was the hilt of a sword, and then he noticed the slivers of sunlight in the sky. He had stayed for too long. Thankfully it seemed that you hadn’t woken up, and he’d do nothing to disturb your sleep. Seonghwa carefully pulled himself away from you, biting his lip instead of kissing your head. He made his way out, careful to be quiet and not be seen.
“Thank you, Wooyoung. I’m sorry I must have fallen asleep at some point and lost track of time.”
As Seonghwa thanked Wooyoung for being his look out he saw the boy shaking his head, gesturing to someone behind Seonghwa. A scowl quickly appeared on Seonghwa’s face and he drew out Wooyoung’s sword. Although when he turned around, ready to keep his word, he saw Hongjoong on his knees, bowing his head as he held up his own sword. For a moment there was silence and then Hongjoong dared to speak.
“I was wrong, my lord. I am not a servant of the Park family, only yours. Whatever you desire, whatever becomes of you, I wish to stand by your side as a protector, but most of all a friend. The palace is a dangerous place and you should not traverse it alone. If you’ll have me… I shall serve you until my dying breath. If I cannot do that for you then I ask you to keep your word. I am prepared to die.”
Hongjoong raised up his sword higher, still keeping his head bowed. Silence once again filled the air, the sounds of nature waking up, of a new day, began to take over the quiet morning. Seonghwa returned Wooyoung’s sword, stepping towards Hongjoong and taking the blade presented to him.
“Stand.”
Hongjoong did as he was ordered, but did not meet Seonghwa’s gaze, not until the tip of the sword was under his chin.
“You swear loyalty to me, no matter what happens? You’ll die for me if needed?”
“Yes, my lord.”
“Tsk.”
“Seonghwa.”
The tip of the sword was pressed against Hongjoong’s throat, any more pressure and blood would be drawn. If this was the end Hongjoong would accept it. He deserved it for abandoning his friend. Instead Seonghwa pulled the sword away, stepping closer and returning the sword to its sheath.
“I will hold you to your words, Hongjoong.”
“I expect nothing less.”
“Thank you, for the wake up call.”
“You definitely need to sleep more, which is why it’s best you visit the princess during the day.”
“Ah, is that so?”
“Yes. I know how you can accomplish this.”
“Do tell.”
32 notes · View notes
simpingforheros · 2 days ago
Text
Lover Man
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Pairing: Roy Harper X Single Mom! Female! Reader
Summary: Roy Harper gave up on love after his relationship with Cheshire never went anywhere other than creating his bundle of joy that was Lian Harper. That was until she came knocking on his door.
Warnings: 18+, Minors Do Not Interact, Female Reader/Female Pronouns/ Female Anatomy, Fluff eventually turning into Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Close Proximity, Mentions of Drug Addiction, Implied Abuse, Heavy Make-Out Session, Dry Humping, Implied Breeding Kink, Roy Harper being our Gentle King ((only this time)).
A/N: Soooo I had another Roy fanfic written completely in the drafts…and I hated it 💀. So I rewrote it and here it is. It’s a wee bit longer than my normal fanfics and I wanted to add more fluff and more descriptive detail instead of just smut. Please leave me some comments if you like this or if you don’t lol. Thank you.
A/N: I got my own ginger so it makes me wanna write about my second favorite ginger since I hardly see writing for him outside of him being a throuple with Jason. Roy Harper is just as hot as Jason because man’s literally got himself out of a bad place just for his daughter 😭🥹. Our responsibility king. Also Lian is aged up to 7 years old in this.
Dividers >>>> @cafekitsune
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Roy Harper was a hardworking man. He slaves over his small mercenary missions with the occasional events of saving the city in the mix of raising a 4 foot ball of energy all on his own. He felt exhausted most the time, but that exhaustion keeps him out of trouble. It also gets him out of any venture for a personal life.
Sure, Roy had the Outlaws who would swing by after missions just to hangout and drink, and the Titans make a rare appearance to visit their favorite niece. Even Ollie and Dinah would occasionally come by to visit. But, after Jade came and left him high and dry, his heart was hollow…
Lian was his whole world and stars. He never thought he could love someone as much as he loved his little girl. He dragged himself out of his drug addiction just so he can take care of her, and she should be enough to make the backbreaking labor enough.
However, he notices how the doodled Mother’s Day cards that used to litter the fridge for Jade began to dwindle as her eyes began to look longingly at the other parents who had two parents and a pair or two of siblings. Lian says she’s happy to live with her Dad, who was her bestest friend in the world, but the occasional crayon drawings say otherwise.
The stick figures of Lian and Roy with a faceless woman and another stick figure child making it very clear that Lian wanted a mother figure, or at least a sibling.
Maybe one day Roy can give it to her…but right now he was too tired.
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“What do you mean you forgot??” Roy yells into the phone as he speed walks back to his apartment complex.
He should have known better than to ask Garfield to wait at his apartment for Lian to come home and babysit for a couple of hours while he went grocery shopping. This week has been hell on him. He’s been dealing with some of Black Mask’s crew trying to expand to Star City and when he would try to get some sleep, the noise of some new neighbors moving in woke him up constantly. This was really his only chance to go do anything and Beast Boy forgot to come.
“I asked you to do one thing, Gar! Be here and watch Lian until I got back. How can forget to watch a 7 year old girl?” Roy seethes as he walks into the main lobby and bolting up the stairs.
His heart was pounding with all the possible scenarios. He knows he’s overreacting, that she was just probably sitting by the locked door either entertaining herself or crying. But he also couldn’t help but be paranoid that she strayed off to go find him or someone snatched her up.
His worst fear coming to reality as he walks onto his floor and sees no one. He quickly gets to his door and jiggles the nob, feeling the secured lock.
Just as Roy was about to scream at Garfield again to relieve the unrelenting anxiety, the sound of a door opening behind him catches his attention as a familiar ring fills the static.
“Daddy!” Lian yells as Roy turns around, relief filling his body as he kneels down to greet the girl.
“Oh fuck, you scared me.” He says, as he sighs in relief. His strong arms holding the small girl tight to his chest.
“I’m sorry,” the girl mumbles with sympathy pooling in her dark eyes. “I was walking Wren and she wanted me to see her new room.”
‘Wren? Who’s Wren?’ Roy thought as he quirks his eyebrow just as movement catches his eyes again to the door.
Another little girl was standing in the door way to the apartment. She looked the same age as Lian with colorful ribbons in her hair and the matching Star Academy uniform on as Lian.
‘Another Star Academy student? There isn’t any other student living here…’
Then the realization that this was one of the new neighbors hits him as a taller figure appears behind Wren. Her voice throwing Roy in a trance as she scolds the girl.
“Wren, I told you to not stare. Especially at strangers.” Her voice gently but protective as she kept her eyes on Roy. Her hand already on her daughter’s shoulder as her daughter apologizes.
“I’m sorry, Mama. I wanted to see Lian’s Dad and see if I can come over…”
The woman was the same age as him from what he can tell. Healthy, glowing skin despite the dark bags under her eyes. Her hair glowed like a halo in the fluorescent light of the hallway despite the messy frizz of what he thought used to be a protective hairstyle that her work day destroyed. Her boxy scrubs doing noting to hide her figure as the familiar logo of Star City General Hospital shined brightly.
“Dad.” Lian’s inpatient voice cuts through his daze as he looks to his daughter.
“Huh?” He says as his daughter giggles.
“I said, can I show Wren my room? I wanna show her all my Bluey toys.” She says excitedly.
His eyes briefly flickering over to the other excited little girl before stating gently, “I have no problem with it, but did you ask Wren’s mom if she can.”
“Yea! Miss (L/N) said it was alright.” She says happily.
‘Miss? I guess she’s not married…’ he thought as he handed Lian his keys with a joking quip, “Don’r throw a party while I’m over here talking to Miss (L/N).”
The girls giggle before running over to Roy’s apartment and entering. Roy stands up to his full height as he gives the mother a smile. She returns it with her own as she says,
“Normally Wren is pretty shy, so I was happy to see she made friends with a good kid.” She says as she pushes some stray hair out of her face before offering him her hand. “I’m (Y/N) by the way.”
“Roy. Roy Harper.” He introduces himself as he shakes her hand. He couldn’t help but smile brighter as they pulled their hands away, proud that his daughter helped out a new kid.
“Lian doesn’t have much of a shy side to her. I blame it on her mom’s genetics.” He jokes with a soft chuckle.
“You and your wife must be proud.” She says softly as she props her hip against the doorframe.
“Oh no, I’m not married.” He corrects her as he nervously stuffs his hands in his pocket as he felt a pang of gloom over his heart. “It’s just me and Lian.”
Her eyes dropped as she crosses her arms over her chest as she mumbles, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to assume…”
“No, youre alright.” He assures her with a shrug. “Honestly, I should be apologizing for your first impression of me being my kid locked out of my apartment.”
She giggles as she waves him off as she says, “Lian told me that her normal babysitters weren’t in town and that ‘Uncle Gar’ was suppose to be here.”
“Yeaaa.” He groans as he defends himself. “I promise that i’m normally on top of the babysitting situation since I normally work nights.”
She nods as she says, “I understand. I have to find my own babysitter now that I moved across the country. I work days at the hospital.”
The idea seeming to strike them at the same time as both their little girls scream in delight as they play in the apartment over.
A compromise between two single parents.
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The deal was easy and benefited both of them. Since she had to work 12 hour shifts on a 3 on, two off basis, (Y/N) would drop the girls off at school on her way to work, and Roy adjusted his “work” time so he can be home when they come home from school and babysit until Wren’s mom gets off from work.
When (Y/N) was off and Roy is working, She will keep both girls at her apartment and gets them ready for school in the mornings before they tag off.
During the rare occurrence that Roy had to go away on a “business trip”, the girls would just be with (Y/N) full time with Roy’s promise that it will only be a week and he will watch them when the weekend comes so she can rest.
This has been the routine for three months, and Roy enjoyed it more than he should. It felt great knowing that Lian was in capable, non vigilante hands when he was away and she had a female role model to who doesn’t fight crime in spandex.
Roy also adored Wren. She took a minute to break out of her shell, but she reminded him a lot of Jason. A quiet type who surprised him with her temper and mischief. He can see why (Y/N) is the kind of parent she is and how she easily keeps Wren and Lian in line.
Over the weeks, Wren and Lian became the dynamic duo of Star Academy. They did everything together and would cry if they couldn’t. The two even begged their respective parents for matching Bluey backpacks and sparkly shoes so they can match all the time. They even developed a cute habit of leaving colored drawings under the apartment doors for the other to find. The friendship was very heart warming and helped form the bond between their parents.
The two had a lot in common too. More than they expected.
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“Wanna beer?” Roy offered as he stood up from the couch.
“No thank you.” She answers as she focuses on wrapping the present infront of her.
Tomorrow was Wren’s birthday, and while the girls are having a sleep over in Lian’s room, Roy and (Y/N) prepped for her birthday party.
“You sure, doll?” He says as he grabs a couple beers. He sits beside her and holds his open bottle near her as he jokes. “You gonna let me drink alone, and make me look depressed?”
Her eyes darken as she scoots away from him. The air turning cold as she snaps on him. “I said No, Roy.”
Roy immediately freezes before frowning in concern. He puts the beer on the coffee table as he whispers to her. “Hey, I’m sorry…”
Her eyes relax as her shoulders slump. She sighs softly as she mumbles. “No, I’m sorry…”
She reaches into her pocket a pulls out a familiar looking token and hands it to him. A 5 year sobriety coin. His brows shoot up as he looks at her in shock.
She giggles somberly as she says, “it’s not mine. It’s my Dad’s.”
She pulls her knees to her chest as she looks to the wall around the muted tv. Pictures lining the wall of Lian and Roy with some of just them or with friends. She smiles softly as she recounts.
“My dad was a bad alcoholic, but a good dad. He would take me with him everywhere he could and it would be like everyday was a good day. I was too young to realize he drank too much or he yelled at my mom a little too harshly.” She says as she picks at the material of her socked covered feet.
“It wasn’t until I got pregnant with Wren that he realized he had to sober up. He managed to stay clean for almost 6 years until a drunk driver hit him.” She chuckles sadly as she sees the irony in her dad’s death. “He even help me leave my ex who was also a bad drinker. I guess seeing my dad doing it my whole life, I thought it was normal…”
Her arms wrapping around herself before finally looking back at Roy. Her eyes meeting his green ones, her gaze watery as she wipes the tears away.
“I’m sorry, that was too much to put on you..” she said as her voice wavers a bit. “You can drink though I don’t-“
Roy gets up and takes his beers to the kitchen. Confused by his abruptness, she follows him, only to see him dumping out his open beer and starting to dump out the other one. She looks at him confused as he finishes dumping the liquid out before he pulls out his wallet and pulls out a coin.
He hands both coins to her as she reads the one he pulled out of his wallet. 7 years sobriety.
“You were…?” She mumbles is disbelief before he answers.
“Yep, former heroine addict…” he says as he leans back against the counter. His arms flexing as he crosses his arms over his chest. His eyes shining with seriousness as he says,
“I understand why your dad got help. I did the same thing when I found out about Lian, and I don’t ever wanna do anything that can jeopardize giving her a better life than I had…”
An emotion crosses his face that makes her nervous but excited as he admits.
“And I don’t want to do anything that would drive you out of mine.”
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“Please, (Y/N)!” Lian begs as Wren stands behind her with her puppy dog eyes shining behind her.
Those were the famous last words that were said when Lian and Wren convinced her to allow them to go to a slumber party while Roy was out of town. (Y/N) didn’t see the harm since it was Friday night and the girls had been good. Besides, Roy was supposed to be home late tonight so he can enjoy his Saturday morning resting.
It was a good idea. Or at least that’s what she thought before she got mugged on her way home from dropping off the girls.
The woman didn’t see it coming when she was snatched off the street and pinned to an alley wall as a disgust voice coos at her.
“Easy, Babygirl.” The masked man purrs as his dirty finger nails digged into her arms. “Just give me your purse and we can both walk away happy.”
“Fuck off!” She says as she tries to yank away from him .
“Now don’t be such a-!” His growl interrupted as the swoop of air shoots between them. She looks to where it lands and sees a red arrow buried into the wall behind them. The mugger was the first to look back to where it came from before gasping,
“Arsenal? What’s he doing here?” He curses as he pulls (Y/N) in front of him, making the struggling woman a human shield. “I’m armed, and I’m not afraid to hurt the bitch!” He says as he pulls out a knife and holds it to her neck.
(Y/N) only heard about the vigilante through the news. Apparently he used to be Green Arrow’s sidekick before he went solo for some reason and he was a rough guy. He works with the Red Hood who was known for killing criminals so she understood why the man was scared as a figure dropped down from a rooftop with his bow ready to shoot.
Her panic setting in as the bite of the blade was pressed hard to her neck, the anxious blade knicking her. Her panic eyes were set on the archer as she watches him slowly approach.
He looked…familiar. His height and built was impressive despite him being more on the leaner side and his features not obstructed by his sunglasses and hat reminded her of Roy…
“Let the girl go.” Arsenal warns the burglar. His voice was deep, but it didn’t sound natural. It was like he was trying to make his voice sound different. “You’re just pissing me off more and I’m gonna end up breaking your eye socket in.”
The criminal trembles before deciding the best escape plan. He grabs ahold of her purse before throwing her in Arsenal’s direction. Unprepared to the violent shove, (Y/N) falls to the ground before the vigilante can catch her. Her yelp filling space as the hero kneels down beside her to make sure she wasn’t stabbed.
“Hey, you alright?” He says as he scans her body for any serious injury.
She pushes herself up, cringes as her wrist throbs. His large gloved hands on her back and shoulder as he helps her stand when she notices his exposed arm. A familiar faded green tattoo visible on his bicep as the pieces fall together.
“Roy?…” She asks as she looks up Arsenal. Despite his eyes being covered, she can tell he was looking at her in a panic that she figured him out.
“Yea…” He confirms before looking behind her as he realizes the motherfucker stole her purse. He pulls his aviators down to the bridge of his nose, his eyes shining in concern as he mumbles to her.
“Go home. I’ll meet you there so we can talk about it.”
The look in his eyes and the pounding adrenaline makes her fear melt away as she nods her head.
“Okay.”
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The throbbing pain in her wrist didn’t stop when she finally made it back to her apartment building, acting as her anchor as the revelation that Roy’s secret night job was him being a Robin Hood copycat.
Thinking back on it, she should have figured he wasn’t a normal guy. Constant bruises, noticeable limps, and stolen ibuprofen were a routine in their life.
The thought made her stop for a second in the stair way.
Their life. The one they shared for months basically together. At first it was just two single parents helping each other out while their daughters bonded. Then her and Roy began to get close, close enough to where they were constant in each other’s apartments as the other child was.
Now he saved her life…maybe he already did that the first day in the city and she babysat a kid she didn’t know…
As she reaches the arch way between the two apartments, her hands searches her pockets for her keys when disappointment answers her.
The keys were in her purse.
With a sigh, she decides to sit on the ground besides Roy’s door as she waits. (Y/N) curls herself into a ball with her knees to her chest as she felt the familiar feeling of exhaustion nipping her eyelashes.
(Y/N) was a hard working woman. When she wasn’t working herself like a dog in the Emergency Room, she was handling a 4 foot ball of attitude. She didn’t have time for any ventures outside of that. She loves Wren with all her heart, but that doesn’t help the hollow part of her heart from throbbing…maybe someday she can give Wren a father who’s worth something. But right now, she was too damn tired.
The door opens behind her as she jumps awake. The woman didn’t even realize she almost fell asleep, but a warm hand opens in front of her as she looks up.
Roy was standing in front of her now. A grey zip up was pulled over his shoulders to cover his costume as her purse hanged on his arm. His soft smile made her stomach flutter as he breaks the silence.
“I guess I got some explaining to do…”
She doesn’t respond right away. Instead she gives him her hand and stands up with his help. Her injured wrist cradled to her chest as they enter the apartment. The movement still felt natural despite the circumstances. Roy didn’t even have to ask about her arm to know she needed first aid on her wrist.
He tended to her sprained wrist as he tells her his life story. She already knew about the general events of his childhood and his life with Oliver Queen, but didn’t know he was a sidekick turned mercenary. The whole story made her head spin as she thought about the man tending to her as a boy wearing yellow and red spandex and managing to attract a female assassin who was Lian’s actual mother…
“So…” Roy says as he expects some sort of reaction out of her.
“So… You are a vigilante…Ollie and Dinah are too.” She recounts as she rubs her bandaged wrists. “And your ex is an assassin…”
(Y/N) sighs before looking at the nervous ginger fidgeting in his seat. His nerves were haywire.
‘What if she leaves?’
‘What if she doesn’t want anything to do with me or Lian anymore?”
‘Is she gonna keep Wren from Lian and Me?’
“Okay”
The phrase makes Roy’s neck snap was he blinks wildly at her. His heart pounding as he scans her completely calm face with a soft smile on her face as she giggles at his baffled expression.
“Okay? That’s all you gotta say?”
“I mean sure I’m not a fan of the whole putting yourself in danger shtick, but if that’s the only downside to you, then I’m okay with it.” She says calmly before giving him a serious glare. “Just as long as the girls are never endangered.”
Roy couldn’t help but fall out of his chair and on his knees infront of her as he laughs. His hands pulling her into his lap as he enjoys the chill of relief as his body yearns for the reassurance of her touch. It wasn’t until he cupped her face that he realized just how intimate their position was.
Definitely not something friends should be doing….
But are they just friends?
“Roy…” She mumbles. Her eyes speaking to his soul as the exhaustion and months of connecting and yearning reach the apex. Or maybe it was the reflection of his own feelings bubbling up as he moves her hair away from her face.
“I promise I’ll never let anything happen to you or our girls…I can’t afford to lose them…or us.”
The first move wasn’t clear. The blur of teeth and tongue distracting him as their hands held the pair close. His hands adjusting her to straddle his lap as hers ran through his hair and over his strong shoulders. His mouth trailing down her jawline and caresses her throat as her hips began to grind into his.
“Aw, poor thing…” Roy coos as his hips rolled to meet hers. His eyes shining with adoration as he marks her smooth skin. “How long has it been since anyone took care of you?”
She rolls her eyes at his teasing before pulling his head back by his hair. “When was the last time you got took care of, Red?”
He glares playfully with a smirk as he says, “Don’t call me Red.”
She giggles as she presses a soft kiss to his cheek before trailing along his jawline. Her breath burning his soul as she whispers, “Then how about…baby?”
He rips her back away by her nape before crashing his lips onto hers. The desperation dewing the walls around them as their soft moans and movement of clothes made their company.
His hands hungry as he finally pulls away from her long enough to push off her sweatshirt. A groan of appreciation fills the space as he admires her body. Every visible scar, freckle, mole, stretch mark, and roll made him want to explore every story that lead her to his arms. But that’s for another time.
His mouth watered as he looks back up at her.
“So pretty, Ma…”
His prayer is followed by his mouth devouring her skin as he kisses her collarbone. Her feathery moans filling the space while his hands caresses her exposed torso. He trails down to the valley of her breasts before pushing the offending bra up so they spill out. Roy couldn’t resist kissing around her sensitive skin, teasing her as her hands tangle in the mess of ginger on his head.
“Baby please…” she whines as her hips roll impulsively on his.
Her underwear was impossibly uncomfortable. Her body burning like iron as her intimate parts tried to cool down. The friction of her jean covered core against the rough tackle gear of his suit did not help as his hand began to grope her other breast.
His chuckle vibrates against the globe of fat as his fingers pinch the stiffening nub.
“Can’t wait to get me in bed? My, you certainly are a romantic.”
Before she can shoot back at him, he withdraws completely from her chest and his hands roughly cup her thighs. In a swift motion, Roy picks her up as he stands up from the floor. The pair share a soft laugh as her brief shock and his amusement leads them to his bedroom.
Once he places her on the bed, (Y/N) sheds off her sweatshirt and bra as Roy whistles in appreciation.
“I love when you strip for me.” He jokes as lust clouded his vision. “Can you do that again but slower?”
She glares at him as she leans back onto her hands as she tilts her head. Mischief fills her eyes as she examines him up and down with her lip between her teeth.
“Then how about you put a show on for me since you want one?” She teases.
His smirk widens as he decides to follow her suggestion. Roy rolls his shoulders back before reaching to slowly unzip the jacket covering his suit. Making a show of pulling it off his arms before twirling it over his head and tossing it.
Laughing follows his movements as he slowly strips off his gear as her hungry and amused eyes followed every rolling muscle exposed to her.
“Damn…” She whispers as a nearly nude Roy begins to crawl on the bed towards her. His prominent bones straining against his boxers as she continues. “And I wondered why you didn’t have a girlfriend…”
He laughs as he cages her in his arms. His ginger hair acting as a curtain over his forehead as he shrugs above her. “Maybe I was waiting on the right one.”
Their lips meet again as their hands began to map out each other. Soon all the rest of the clothes joined the floor.
His erection bobbing between them as his eyes remains trained on hers. His fingers trailing down to her exposed sex, groaning as he runs a finger between her folds.
“Already wet? And without foreplay?” He asks as faux sympathy plays on his face. “My darling clearly neglected that she gets wet from a few kisses…”
“I’m not neglected…” She protests before she whimpers as the bite from his finger entering her unused cunt hits her.
“I wasn’t talking body you directly, baby.” He corrects as his finger thrusts softly along her fleshy walls. The lewd sounds of her moans mixed with her wet sex made him melt as she begs,
“Fuck…quit teasing already, you bastard…”
He decides to oblige by adding another finger to speed up his pace. The thumb on the other hand joining the fun as it rubbed patterns into her puffy clit.
“I got get you all nice and ready..” Roy mumbles as he leans down to press soft kisses on her stomach up to her breasts. The mixture of gentle pecks mixed with the harsh stimulation below driving his lover insane as her hips arched to meet his hands.
“You deserve all that I can give for being such a good mom .” He praises her as he feels her walls clench around his knuckles when he finds the spongy mass he was searching for.
He contradicts himself by abusing that with archer like precision as the coil roughly tightens in her gut. (Y/N)’s gasps and cries desperate for the climax as she grips the hard flesh of his back. Just as she was reaching the peak, he stops.
“Asshole!” She curses at him as he pulls out of her. He chuckles before licking the tip of his soiled finger. Her eyes burning onto his mouth as he groans at the taste.
“Sweet as I thought..” he praises as he uses the hand to pump his cock. He climbs on top of her as he continues. “I’m gonna have to have a better taste next time, but I need you too bad right now…”
She calms her raging breaths as she smiles softly. “Next time?”
Roy pulls her legs up to her chest as he hooks her ankles on his shoulders. His red hot tip played with her clit as he rubs it through her soaked folds. He chuckles at her hopeful voice as he leans down to press a soft peck to her lips.
“Of course,” Roy whispers as his tip catches the entrance. “I don’t think I can go back to being friends after this..”
He slowly pushes into her as her hands shoot onto him as best she could. With her legs pinned to her chest, she can only grasp his bicep and his lower back as she is forced to endure the painful stretch of her neglected cunt welcoming him.
A groan ripping in his throat as he finally seats himself fully into her before peppering kisses on her face.
“Was gonna ask you out on a nice date without the kids around…gonna see if we would be a good fit.” He mutters as his mind seems to run on blanks. His hips rolling to gain some friction in the tight confines of her walls.
Her little breathless moans encouraging him as Roy begins to thrust shallowly to work her open before he pulls out almost completely. He slams back into her befor continuing his non coherent comment.
“But fuck…I don’t regret this. God, if I knew you would look so fucking hot in my bed…” He groans as his head dips to bite along her neck. “And your pussy is so tight…It’s driving me crazy. I wonder how a sweet thing like you could like me…”
His cock messaging all the right nerves in her as (Y/N)’s nails clawed into him. Her moans turning to incoherent shrieks as his tip abuses her spot, remembering exactly where it was when he found it earlier. Her guts twisting at both the words and his abusing pace. The denied orgasm from earlier building back up as her desperation grew wilder.
“God, Roy…So full…so good.”
Fuck she looked pretty. Her lips wet with tears and sip as she cries. Her eyes blown out in addictive lust and watery tears. Roy couldn’t help but cup her jaw in his hand and kisses her. The now familiar taste of mint and nicotine making her more addicted as his tongue claimed every inch of hers. He pulls away as his groans start matching her whines as his hand snakes between them to rub her clit.
“Honey, I may have to fuck a baby into you…” He mumbles as he buries his face in her neck. Her walls responding in a vice grip as he roughens his pace to meet their impending climax. “You like that, pretty girl? Want me to knock you up and give Wren and Lian a little sibling? Give you a nice big family with a white picket fence? God, you’re such a sweet thing that I wouldn’t mind keeping you as my pretty little girlfriend…”
“Roy!” She whines as her body shakes. Her walls closing in on him as she finally reaches her peak. Her eyes rolling back as stars cross her vision before Roy slams into her one more time as his hot cum fills her welcoming womb.
The pair remain still for a moment as soft pecks were exchange. Roy gently pulls out before he helps his love stretch back out. His hands massaging her thighs before grabbing his abandoned jacket to wipe her thighs and himself clean.
“You wanna go out tomorrow?” Her cracked voice catching the archer off guard before he smiles.
“With or without children?”
“Without. They are at a sleep over and gonna go to the zoo tomorrow with their friends.”
“Then it’s a date.”
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A/N: Okay I didn’t know how to end this because Ngl I was tired on working on this tbh. I hope y’all enjoyed reading this and let me know what you think. Comments and reblogs are encouraged.
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@simpingforheros fanfic. I DO NOT CONDONE MY WORKS TO BE STOLEN, PLAGIARIZED, COPIED, REPOSTED, OR TRANSFERRED ONTO OTHER BLOGS, ACCOUNTS, AND WEBSITES.
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mita-vittua-olivia · 11 months ago
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okay apparently i’m going to finland in two months !!
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sableeira · 2 years ago
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I wish we knew more about how bsd characters figured out they have abilities. The fact that transferring an ability is confirmed to be rare implies that most characters just randomly figured out their abilities. Like did Kunikida one day write in his planner “I need to buy new glasses” and suddenly glasses spawned in his hand? Did Tanizaki play tag on the playground and just matrix-ed into thin air? Did Fyodor just randomly touch another person and see them drop dead in a pool of blood in front of him?
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danielnelsen · 8 months ago
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there’s so much i wanna do this week/month/etc but i’m just too sick, i have no energy, i can’t sleep, i’m constantly nauseous and headachey and on the verge of a migraine, i’m stressed and irritable and impatient and panicky…….how tf did i survive nearly 5 years of high school untreated if i can’t even manage this when i don’t have any major obligations rn
#at least i finally got my meds so hopefully i feel a little better soon#although i’m now on 20 pills per day which is Just Great#whenever i’m in remission it’s nice to just. forget sometimes that this can happen at any time#kinda wish i had the typical kinda chronic illness that people talk about with ‘flares’#or at least triggers that i can plan around#the other times have all had an easily identifiable stressor tho tbf. idk what caused this one#the first time was whooping cough and the next few were all very major life stressors like my cat dying right after i started uni#and i think also towards the end of my honours thesis?#but this…….there’s no major stress right now. nothing wildly beyond normal#i’m a little concerned about my joints tho. they’ve been so much worse than normal the last few months#so i’m kinda worried i’m developing rheumatoid arthritis (also an autoimmune disease and it runs in the family specifically)#so if that’s happening then it could set my thyroid off? probably should get to the doctor at some point#obv i’m seeing my endo for thyroid stuff. but i should see my gp and get her to run all the autoimmune blood tests again#i’ve done that before but it’s been a few years and my ankles and knees are so painful i can’t even walk properly a lot of the time#BUT I JUST WANNA DO THINGS I ENJOY AND I CANT AND I WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT#‘oh you’re so lucky you don’t have as many obligations because you’re chronically ill’ ha ha ha please swap lives with me immediately#personal#but seriously. i wasn’t diagnosed until i was nearly 17 and we can trace it back to whooping cough when i was 12#so it was the last half of year 6 and then all of years 7-10 and the start of year 11 of just being. uh. ‘very lazy and complaining a lot’#and TEACHERS joking about me and my sister (who was dealing with an arguably more severe undiagnosed disease) missing so many classes#wow so funny pdhpe teacher who’s supposed to be teaching is about health#and the thing with being a mentally ill teenager is that hyperthyroidism can just look like a very severe anxiety disorder#so i didn’t go to the dr until i was too sick to go to school at all. and luckily had a good dr who did a blood test#i’m just rambling now because i can’t sleep and i don’t wanna lie here doing nothing#might go play pvz or something. that’s been keeping me entertained
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weirdlittlefish · 8 days ago
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𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞
#sorry everyone another spiral/vent incoming#mental health been so bad this week I said fuck it and found a therapist#because I cannot keep living this way it’s ruining my life#like rn I’m terrified to go to sleep bc I’ve convinced myself of a blood clot in my arm 😐 and it’s like realistically it was probably just#cramping bc I did some crafts today in a not great position like in my head I know that’s probably what it is but then there’s always that#little voice saying what if it’s not what if it is actually a clot and you go to bed and die? and what am I supposed to do with that? just#go to bed? I cant. I know unfortunately tonight will be a night where I will stay up until I physically can’t anymore so yay so fun#and it’s like a bunch of little things add up to symptoms in my mind and suddenly I cant remember if my arm has always looked that way or#always been that red etc. it’s so frustrating#why was I cursed to be so stupid and annoying? ugh#not only that I’m extremely nauseous rn ugh#I had to buck up and put my grown man pants on and finally pick a therapist can you believe it’s the#same therapist I’ve been thinking about since I first started looking at the beginning of the year 😐 what is wrong with me man idk why I put#it off for so long but hopefully now I can get the ball rolling on this and work towards being better and maybe even being on meds and#I think it’s bc I didnt wanna do virtual but for rn that would be best for me#please god don’t let it be out the ass expensive#honeslty idek if it’s bc my mental health was bad this week I just had a lot of spirals this week and the past few weeks have been stressful#and I’m just so done with it like I got so annoyed I scheduled/requested appointments I’d been putting off out of fear and now this
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exopelagic · 3 months ago
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okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool
#okay so I came to this flat and he wasn’t here. greeted by a very dirty flat with shit all over the kitchen counters over cling film#I meet first my other flatmate who told me he stays in his room constantly bc of previous bad flatmates#has literally just a saucepan and some salt in the kitchen. so I’m like okay spaghetti guy potentially not great but could just be#how this guy is yknow#on Tuesday I get an email back saying he’s coming back from Norway tonight looking forward to seeing you feel free to use the kitchen sauces#rlly friendly message that I wasn’t expecting. I also didn’t know he’d been on a trip i just knew he wasn’t there bc his door was open#(to a REALLY nice room. multiple rlly nice plants (which he has little care labels for!!!) and it’s tidy and pretty#and he’s got a sheep teddy on the bed)#meanwhile I am in my own head bc I don’t wanna cook in the kitchen until I can clean it and I can’t clean it without moving his shit and#I haven’t seen him yet to talk abt it and I can’t bring myself to talk to him immediately bc I’m dying#and embarrassed as hell by how I’ve been cooking in my room with a microwave and air fryer (loud) and sneaking my shit out of the kitchen#but then yesterday I DO talk to him!! and he’s super friendly!! actually interested in having a conversation and Good at it.#and then he’s cooking and like. spaghetti burns but I’m not there for long and seems to be a mistake (he made the same thing for lunch today#and did Not burn the spaghetti) and is otherwise clearly competent bc the food smells Good and despite leaving a few things out it’s like#washed up stuff isn’t dirty and the sides are better despite still under cling film. more a case that he’s spread out than he’s messy#and now today we talked and i offered to hold onto some shit over summer bc complicated situation that boils down to he’s flying back home#and he cant take all his stuff and had to choose between chucking stuff/having literally nothing this weekend. like sleeping on the sofa etc#and then cleans the whole flat?? which I’m assuming a good chunk is his mess? but he did not need to do that. could’ve easily left#bc there are two people still living here who would’ve had to deal with it and he doesn’t know either at all#and THEN tonight we talk abt food which is fun bc we both ordered stuff. and he offers me some honeydew melon bc he’s been gorging himself#these past two days to finish it before it goes bad/he leaves which is also really sweet#and JUST NOW. I take my headphones out after finishing dinner and hear the sweetest fucking guitar#he plays the gentlest like dreamy sounding acoustic guitar I’ve heard in my life in his room (door closed by the time I leave)#this is actually just a really cool dude#now that the kitchens clear I’m gonna cook tomorrow and will probably offer him some bc otherwise he’s gonna be eating out all weekend#he has extra takeout for tomorrow night but might want smth Sunday#regardless I am just. huh??? left a bit stunned bc of the u turn my opinion of this guy has taken. bc my opinion of him was a reflection#of my discomfort moving to this weird dirty basement flat with two people I didn’t know#well. idk where to go from here. I think I’ll start by talking to him more this weekend. bc holy fucking shit.#luke.txt
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milo-is-rambling · 7 months ago
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Me when I’m not anxious at all about anything especially not traveling or not being home or being around strangers or going to a new airport or not being in control of the schedule or not having immediate access to my safe foods or not seeing funk and I’m definitely not anxious about being in new places and meeting new people and animals and having to be a person while trying to balance my emotions out enough that I don’t bring every conversation down while simultaneously only thinking about saying the wrong thing and bringing the conversation down
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teruthecreator · 2 years ago
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nooooo no it’s great no personally i LOVE when things just stop fucking working -__-
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system-error404-notfound · 2 years ago
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I once again am giving up :)
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dutybcrne · 2 months ago
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Absolutely getting a kick of imagining a Ma.mma M|a type scenario for Kae hehdb
#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//Only tells the Gunnh|ldr sisters and Lisa abt it; bc they are Most Trusted#//Gwtting such a laugh of Jean being all ‘omg you’re gonna have a kid! who’s the lucky man?’#//Meanwhile Kae’s just sweatin bullets as he watches it dawn on Jean that he ain’t got a fuckin clue either djdbdb#//Prolly gets yelled at for like 10mins after joking he knows for a Fact it ain’t Rosie or Bedo lmao#//‘YOURE USUALLY SO CAREFUL; WTF HAPPENED???’ ‘I DONT KNOW AAAA’#//He wouldn’t immediately tell Addie bc she would Absolutely get SUPER involved & try to get him to move back into the Winery#//He can’t just be living on his OWN or the BARRACKS; he’s got to have sb to help look after him & make sure he’s eating & sleeping well!#//And if SHE gets involved; the Winery STAF get involved and thus LUC gets involved and he deffo does NOT want that#//Luc prolly inevitably does; & is a little less angry & a bit more eager to get smth set up for Kae at the Winery#//Like mans FINALLY has the means to ask him to come back home; prolly frames it as Addie being worried#//Anywho; who could be the actual candidates jcbdb#//THAT would be fun#//Huffman for sure one of them. Wagner too? maybe Draff?#//No; mans wife is APPARENTLY still alive#//Maybe Ae.ther or Da|nsleif?#//Or even Ven.ti would be so fucken funny#//He wouldn’t even wanna know so they’d stay w him; he’d just wanna know so he has an idea what his kids gonna be like/hafta worry abt#//For facts the Traveler option would be the angstiest#//At least with Ven or Dain; Kae can joke around at his own expense and be all ‘Ah well; that happened’#//Even if both present worrisome scenarios regarding Celestia/The Curse; but he’ll cross those bridges when they get there#//But with Traveler; he would be Massively upset. Bc w them; he would be so ATTACHED as is he’d WANT them to stay#//Want to be selfish and MAKE them stay; but he knows their goal; that their FAMILY is not HIM#//so he’d heavily internalize everything to ensure they don’t feel pressured to choose him over their sibling#//Esp if they plan to move on from Teyvat once they do; he couldn’t possibly bear putting them & himself through that#//On a lighter note; he’d be pissed but also laughing so hard if it was sb like Wagner or Huffman lmao#//Like ‘Seriously? I’ve fucked gods; allogenes; and some odd mix of the two & a cursed man; and THEIRS is the one that took??’#//But he’d be relieved it meant the kid might have a more normal life honestly#//ughughugh more fics ideas I rlly oughta be writing jxnxnxn#//This one’s actually so fun
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1roentgen · 4 months ago
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friedaaaaaaargh · 6 months ago
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Damn, this is so correct. I honestly keep drafting satirical scripts of my experiences so far that I one day want someone to perform, because honestly, I’m already a shell of a person that I was, and it’s not the actual ‘academics’ that have caused it! :)
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#there are some content warnings in tags about dieting#I find I have to act a whole different person in order to succeed#I have to de-goth for conferences#I have my food habits scrutinised - I’m told how I should eat how I should eat what I should do#you have to be available 24/7 for pointless meetings#and lunches and afternoon teas#I’ve had people try to cure my acne#and tell me how to live my life#all in academia just for the sake of fitting in#it’s also unfortunately a competition of the financially elite - the pay is terrible and often so many opportunities are unpaid#like you have to teach without additional payment#peer review journals in your spare time without additional payment#I have had some acting training so I find my entire conference etiquette is just a performance#and I’ll just act like some enthusiastic lady when deep down all I wanna do is sleep#I had a panic attack at my last conference and they had to force me back in lol because I was so overstimulated - dark room#too much socialising and small talk and loud sounds and then bam my phobia emerges and honestly it’s been awful#I’m on a well-being week off this week but sometimes I wonder if I ever want to go back#I’m also scrutinised for not going to the gym like what is this?#it’s also an industry where champagne and wine are absolutely centric#like if u don’t wanna drink at a conference u just have to die of dehydration#and if u don’t like going out and getting drunk then you’re a social hermit
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aeolianblues · 7 months ago
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being around party people when you’re not one will make you feel like the lamest piece of shit ever
#Ooh Rue no one’s forcing y— I live with them#I do not try to either be cool or uncool I just#Am not in that circle#They are lovely people but listen. They have known each other for five years#And me for 3.5 months#I cannot even try with this#I am not in that circle#But walking home when they have a party#Walking through that front door and up to my room is a walk of SHAME#and the coolest thing I could possibly have done will not make that less embarrassing#You cannot be cool when people only see you in your normal/uncool context#And you pretty much see them a lot in their cool context. It’s not fair#(Then again I’ve asked them if they wanna join me for stuff often but they’re either busy or have exams#so we’ve never hung out at my places. So I’m always the uncool one.)#I literally— today’s been a wild day. I got given a whole ass vinyl by a guy because I was cool#But I can STILL walk home an hour later and just feel like such a fucking loser#And the reason why will be that I don’t know their friends#And please please it is not their fault! They are so sweet they couldn’t be sweeter. It just is the way it is#That’s that#bit my god I think I’ll sleep before they get home today (the party’s moved out so I just got home to drink bottles)#I don’t want to do this#Either way we all move out this weekend so it’s ending#My tryst with an in crowd are over probably#Will continue living my extremely not-a-party-kid life#Are people in this world party people or non? It always just feels like I’m falling behind#But then you go online and everyone’s like ‘man I just want to watch movies and go to bed’#So what’s the truth
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hoshigray · 5 months ago
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I love your work so much and it makes me feel a certain way <33 BUTT im here to request something that I've been looking for 🤞🏽
Toji x Fan-Fiction-Writer ! Reader? I'll get on my knees if required 🫶🏽
𝐅𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐃𝐢𝐜(𝐤)𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧!! | tōji fushiguro
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𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: You know, some things are just not meant to be shared, such as fanfiction writing. And how the hell did your boyfriend, of all people, come to be the one to question you about your hobbies? You tell me, you dirty little writer…
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: Toji x fem fanfic writer! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - modern au! - the reader is mid/late 20s; Toji's in his mid-30s - humor - fingering (f! receiving) - oral (f! receiving) - clitoral play (licking, sucking and swiping) - deep impact position - degradation (slut, whore) - use of "Daddy" title - praise + humiliation - spitting - cervix fucking - little bit of rough sex - unprotected sex (psa: wrap the willy; don't be silly) - pet names (baby, cupcake, good girl, mama, princess, sweetheart, sweetie) - aftercare; taking a bath together - usage of a phone; erotic literature/writing - Toji teasing you to no end, the bastard, lol - reader wears glasses cuz why not, hehe - mention of drool/spit.
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮����𝐭: 5k (bless up)
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: bro. this idea cooked so bad, i just HAD to make a fic for it, lmao!! apologies for doing this months late, hope I did the prompt justice, and ty for loving my works~☆
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“Nooo, stop, Toji, give it back!”
“Hold on, baby, hold on…Phew, who knew ya liked wrtin’ dirty shit like this? The fuck is ‘pet play—’”
“Oh my God, stop it!” 
This had to be, undoubtedly, the worst day of your life.
If there’s one thing every human being on Earth has in common, it’s their love for the weekends. They’re amazing — have two whole days to retreat and relinquish the turmoil and stress after five days straight. They’re the days when you can choose whichever activity you want to enjoy your leisure. 
Some people catch up on sleep, others watch a show or try to cook up a new dish, and some go outside and hang out with friends. But then there are those weekdays where it’s satisfying enough to spend your day inside the comfort of your home, delighting in a hobby. 
The hobby you chose to indulge in this weekend was writing. And right at this moment, you regret it being the activity you selected.
Why? For one, it wasn’t just any type of writing, like journalling or poetry. No, no; if it were, things would be easier for you to deal with now. Nope, it was fan fiction writing. The type of writing you’ve known since middle school and decided to jump in and try for about a year. What started as a curiosity turned out to be a hobby that took up your infatuation to the maximum level: writing pieces every night, taking up requests from your following over six thousand followers, and serving as an outlet to project your fantasies onto the Internet. 
What type of fantasies, you might ask? The type you read in a room by yourself or in the corner away from prying eyes, under a blanket with your phone exhibiting the dark secrets that corrupt your mind, or the type that only could be accepted on the Internet and not from the judgmental looks of those in the real world.
But, most certainly, not the type of fantasies you wanted your boyfriend to see!
“Toji, please, give my computer back!”
“Nah, hold on; I wanna see this…Oh, what a title; ‘Fuck Me, Rail Me, Use Me, Daddy—‘“
“TOJI, STOP!”
Perhaps writing fan fiction with your boyfriend occupying your apartment wasn’t the best idea. But you wanted to get a draft don’t by the end of this weekend, and you were almost done with it. You were typing up a storm in your bedroom, sitting at your desk while your man, Toji Fushiguro, was doing at-home exercises in your living room. 
And you could’ve sworn you had locked your computer before going to the bathroom. All you know is that after flushing and washing your hands, you opened your bedroom door to a horrifying sight: Toji, sweaty from his routine in his sweats and wife beater, holding up your laptop that showed the exact draft that you were working on! No, no, NO! You almost tripped dashing to take the device, but the older man was too quick and effortlessly dodged your attempts while still reading the material. And now you know why you are hopping around your room trying to catch the man and stop him from reading more of your stuff. 
Spoiler alert: your efforts were beyond futile, huffing and puffing in complete defeat on your bed. Your boyfriend was sitting beside you, still reading aloud while scrolling through your drafts, to your dismay. Your ears and cheeks harbored an unbearable heat that you could cry at any second, and you covered your face in case it were to happen. God, please kill me now! 
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, how many of these shits have you written?” Toji inquires, his forest green eyes scanning every draft as if the list were endless. “How long have you been doin’ this?”
“For…a while.” You can barely muster the confidence to utter an adequate response. How could I have forgotten to lock my damn computer?!
“How long’s a while?”
“Uhhh, a…a year?”
The silence was pinching your skin enough, but you don’t know if you preferred it over the next thing he said. “Wow, who would’ve thought my sweet angel was a dirty lil’ thing writing filth like this?” Oh, you wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole and die. You can practically sense the smirk on his stupid, handsome face, pulling the scar off his lip! And it hurts your being that he laughs at you grabbing a pillow to scream into oblivion. “What a horny minx.”
You removed the pillow to tell him off. “It’s not all my fault! Most of those aren’t even my ideas; some of my followers asked me to write—“
“Followers?” God, would it have killed you to shut up? “So you got people readin’ your stuff?”
Downcast eyes to avoid his surveying ones, “W–Well, yes…People like how I write, so I…..Write whatever they ask me.”
“Oh, wow,” raven eyebrows lift while looking at the screen, flipping through the notes of your drafts to your blog with your completed works. “So over a hundred freaks like how freaky you write.”
“Hey, d–don’t say it like that!”
“Oh really?” You didn’t like how he said that, nor when he pulled up one of your drafts to read. “… ’You spread your legs on instinct as she sucks on your chest, and the woman takes the initiative by sliding a hand down to your—‘“
“Stop, stop, STOP!” You sit upright and try again to take the computer away from him, but Toji swiftly moves to the bedroom floor. Fuck! It was hopeless, so you groan in exasperation. “Quit it, Toji; you had your fun, so give it back!”
He didn’t think so; finding something new about you made him curious to no bounds. And for it to be a bit of a suggestive side of you? Oh, how ashamed you were of him finding this out tickled him. “Damn, there’s so much on here…Have you ever written ‘bout shit we’ve done?”
You couldn’t believe he asked you that question — you couldn’t believe you were in this situation at all! Are you serious ”—ly asking me that?!?”
“I’m not hearin’ a ‘yes’ or ‘no.’” Now, this is just diving into a more profound level of embarrassment than you could handle. “Did’ya?”
“……………yes.”
“Wait, fr’ real?! Which ones?”
“I’m not telling you! Just give me my laptop—“
“Hell nah,” his elbow is strong enough to keep you at bay—how pathetic on your part being treated like a kid. “I’m curious to see what my lil’ sweetheart is tellin’ strangers ‘bout how we do our business—“
“I’m not telling them anything!!” You retort. “I-I just use our experience as a means of…references when I’m writing,” thumbs find themselves fidgeting together. “It…It helps when I don’t know how to describe a feeling, or….what it’s like during certain…..positions.” Was the room getting stuffy, or were you shrinking under the growing pressure of every word coming out of your mouth? Who knows. 
“Is there stuff y’ve written before that you’d like fr’ us to try?” Oh, for fuck’s sake, this was too much, bringing your –his– hoodie up to shield you from this predicament. And it only worsens when he stares your way, having you close up the hoodie by the drawstrings and collapse to his shoulder. Toji chuckles at your routing self, wrapping an arm around you. “Can’t even be honest fr’ a second.”
“Toji, pleaseeee,” whining doesn’t help, the older man moving the laptop out of your lazy attempt to retrieve it. “Give it baaack…!”
“Nnm, nnm, don’t wanna,” he places the device away to the ground and takes your hand with his. “Now I gotta read what weird shit you’ve been keepin’ ‘way from me.”
You shake your head frantically. “Please don’t! Don’t you think you’ve tormented me enough today?”
“Now, why would I ever get tired of fucking with ya?” The smirk on his face is still present after you open the hoodie to sneak a glare. “Shoulda thought ‘bout that and locked y’r laptop screen.”
“You’re such a fucking asshole…” his laugh at your words only proves your point, and you bury your face in his chest. This entire thing was so outrageous. How in the world were you this dumb enough not to double-check to make sure your computer was locked from prying eyes? What an amateurish move! Not even your closest friends know that you write fanfiction, so to have your boyfriend be the one to not only find out but bombard you with questions about your secret hobby is nothing short of humiliating. It can’t get any worse than this…
…Or so you thought.
“Hey,” you perk up to look at Toji. “You said ya got followers askin’ ya what they want you to write, right?” You nod meekly, twirling your thumbs with the bottom of your shirt. “Show me some.”
Appalled, you gawk, “Wh–why would I—”
“I know you have favorites from the hundreds I’ve been looking at for the past five minutes. So, are ya gonna show ‘em to me, or am I gonna have to read every single one to find out?”He didn’t show interest in returning the laptop to you even after asking the question. “Oh, don’t look at me like that, baby; I bet ya can look it up on y’r phone or somethin’.”
Your pout deepens in defeat as you begrudgingly stuff a hand inside the pocket of your leggings to pull out your phone to click on an app. Your thumb clicks and scrolls for a few seconds before you peer to him and say, “…I do have some favorites.” 
Jesus, it hurt to admit that to someone, especially with your him of all people, who is without a doubt getting an absolute kick out of this, the fucking bastard! This was beyond embarrassing; nothing could ever top this moment. Indeed, there is nothing else he could have done that could have made this predicament any worse than it already is. At least that’s what you tell yourself to cope because Toji’s grin on his face says otherwise. And what he says afterward makes your blood shift to ice.
“Why don’t ya read ‘em to me.”
Yup, you were killing yourself tonight.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“Go on; read that short one fr’ me.”
“Ahh—…Hahhh, ‘Sitting here and thinking…about your faves…Mmmm.”
For some reason, this felt so. Fucking. Wrong!
You already knew it was a bad idea for you to read your works to your boyfriend at his request. However, to be fulfilling said wish in this manner? The mortification had your ears ringing a thousandfold. 
How would you have foreseen this yourself, face stuffed to the pillow with your phone held up by your right hand with your legs spread up and your bottom propped up? Who the hell reads like this?! And on top of that, your boyfriend is alongside you, his body behind you. The inability to see what he’s doing arises uneasiness in the soul, quivers sneaking up as you feel the rough pads of his fingertips greet the skin of your ass after sneaking inside the oversized hoodie. 
Breath hitches at the slide of your panties, coming down for his hands to grope the flesh wholly. “To..ji…” his name leaves in shakes. 
“C’mon, baby,” you swallow thickly at the cupping of your chasm. Toji chuckles at the twitch felt on his palm, “Read it properly, yeah? Word for word.”
Oh, fuck, your brows trench together. “T…’Thinking about your faves pleasing you from behind. He knows he has to tease you a bit—Tmmm,” his lightly hits your butt. “‘B-By massaging your ass with his strong hands,” he does so, kneading your ass skillfully that has you involuntarily purring to his touch. “…’Keeping you still and relaxed so he can later feel you with his fingers and—“ his forefinger and middle slowly come from your clit to the entrance, biting your lips. “Nhhmm, hahhh.”
“Go on,” Toji scolds, the middle digit sliding up and down with a faint push. Your back quakes to the touch, fingers gripping the pillow. “What else is y’r fav doing?”
You inhale. “Mmmm…’and circle one of them around to warm you up—‘“ spit gulped down again when Toji’s digit did the exact thing as told. “‘And then, when he knows you’re ready for him, he sneaks them insi—‘ Aaaiiii!” His middle finger is shoved into your vagina, and your toes instantly curl before he pushes the rest ever so slowly.  “Oh! Ohhh, fuck…’He…then comes to your shoulder and says to your ear to make you tingle…”
“…’Stay still, sweetie,’” woah. You were not expecting that; you were too focused on trying to read your words, and Toji bending to your ear to read his part wasn’t noticed at all. You only hope he didn’t catch the clasp of your vaginal walls around his finger (he most definitely did), hoping the soft chortle meant nothing. “‘Gonna let me make y’ feel good, yeah?’” Jesus Christ, his gruff voice relayed this so intimately to your eardrums that your heart was beating too hard.
Toji’s finger goes faster, nearly having you almost drop your phone. Your face smooshes to the pillow from the scrape of his fingertip, biting on the pillowcase as he puts in the other finger. He whispers to your ear to keep going; unbelievable…So you lift your head and try. “J-J…’Just thinking about how easy he could make you cum—Mmmph! Wi-With his fingersss…scratching and rubbing your insides so precisely until you’re practically begging to mess his hand up’…”
“Oh, fr’ real?” The perk of his tone makes you anxious. “Well, don’ mind if I do.”
The pace of his ring and middle finger increase, and you gasp sharply. The onslaught of rubs to your inner channel is enough to have your lower half writhe despite Toji keeping your legs grounded with his single one. Oh, fucking Christ, your glasses up to your smooshed cheeks the more you try to conceal your cries, proven to be trivial as the seconds go by. 
“Aww, whaddaya think y’re doin’?” He coos with a kiss to your nape; you nearly shut down. His free hand takes your phone, “Tryin’ to hide that cute voice of y’rs from me? Fuck that,” he then removes his digits from your chasm as you yelp and makes you flip to your back. Oh, fuck no! Your hands go to cover your face—nope, Toji is quick to move them away. “Lemme see you, mama…Now, let’s see what else you should read fr’ me.” He swipes your phone screen, “This too wordy, this long as fuck—goddamn, baby; you writin’ whole ass novels or somethin’?”
“Shut up,” you reply as your legs move, and Toji’s left hand removes your undies. 
“Ah, this one!” He hands you back your cellular device. Your eyes catch the first sentence, and your face morphs into dread before staring back at him to meet his grin. “Go ‘head,” he says cooly, spreading your legs by the knees.
“…’Picture this: your favorite coming to your room and seeing you on your bed and striding to you to taste you,” you inhale deeply at the blow of air on your wet southern folds. “‘He crawls up to you while you’re busy scrolling on the phone, busying himself with placing kisses to your stomach and down to your undies. He’ll then take them off and spread your legs for him, greeting your privates with his ton’—Ghhh…!” Toji licks your slit leisurely; you gulp at the muscle perching between the lips of your labia. “Hahhh, shit…’The smell and taste of you are so inviting he can barely keep it together, virtually inching to stuff his face with your pussy. He kisses it, lips petting your clit,’” he does so, and you chew your bottom lip. “‘Then his tongue goes excruciatingly slow to e-explore your folds,” your exhale is shaky as Toji’s tongue laps and swirls; fuck, I can’t do this…
The older man, on the other hand, flips a switch and goes to town. You knew this was a bad idea; if there’s one thing Toji loved doing more than fucking your cunt, it’s eating it out. He pushes your legs up by the knees for easier access, the angle perfect for him to propel his mouth onto your entrance. You shriek, his nose frequently grinding the hood of your cunt as his scarred lips and tongue suck and lick you feverishly.
“—Tahhh! Ohhhshit, no…!” You cry, throwing your head back to the pillow. “Ahhnn, Tojiii, stop…not too fast—Oooh!”
He spits, mixing his saliva with your slick as he laves. “Mmmph, shit, taste ’o good,” Toji pushes his face further as he sucks on your clit, and you nearly choke on your sob. “Yeah, yeah, let ‘em out; scream like a real whore.” You jerk, but his hands firmly keep you down. “Keep goin’, cupcake, finish y’r reading.”
“Khhh, God, I can’t,” you gulp when emerald eyes peer toward you. “…’Before long, he’s too overwhelmed by you that he can’t take it anymore, stuffing his face between your legs and having you cry out his name in prayers—your phone is no longer a priority.’” Jesus, you can hear his grunts along with the lascivious sounds coming from below; he’s so fucking turned on. “‘Now he has your attention, playing with your…pussy like a toy just to hear you squeak.”  
“Fuck yeah,” he groans as he sticks his fore and middle digits into you. Fingers go to and fro frantically, and your free hand grabs his raven hair. “Christ, y’ sound so fuckin’ hot. More, gimme more,” a long and harsh kiss to your clit makes you want to arch so bad. “Good girl, good fuckin’ girl…”
You hiss at the graze of your vagina; keeping your eyes open is hard to do. Lips go agape, and your noises fly out with no restraint. Your legs tremble, impending in a wish to close from the curl of Toji’s fingers. Your senses become too keen, your nerves heightening with every massage of your walls, lick and slurp of your slick and clit. 
“Ohooo, nhhmm, fuck, Tojiiii,” another suck to your clit has you grip the sheets. “Stooop, please; I’m gonna cumm…!” 
However, your boyfriend has another idea in his head. “Oh no, you don’t, princess,” his fingers leave you hurriedly with a squeal. He yanks for your phone once more to find yet another piece of yours for you to read, giving you so little time to recuperate. Until he scoffs with a smirk, “Ohh, read this one aloud next.” 
You take the device returned to you cautiously, scanning the first few words that catch your eye. Curiosity snaps to apprehension, “W-wait, no, please!” Begging won’t work, but it doesn’t hurt to try. “Please, Toji, look for some—“
“Aht, aht,” the click of the tongue shuts you. “C’mon, sweetheart, that ain’t what y’re callin’ y’r fav right now.” He squeezes your thigh, “What’s my name?”
“Toji, pleas—“
“Mm, mm,” he pinches you, a warning. “Try again.”
Excitement Nervousness flicker through your soul, breathing tardily as you muster to answer. “Sorry…Daddy.” The title burnt your tongue when it left your mouth, and the smile lifted Toji’s scar even more. 
“Good,” he praises. “Now read.”
“…One of my followers asked about writing a post about deep impact, so it’s—“
“Deep impact?” He questions while spreading your legs. “The hell’s that?” 
“I-It’s a, uhh,” you push up your glasses. “A position where you…kinda, like, sit on one of my legs and lift the other to your shoulder.”
Black eyebrows rise. “Ohhh, somethin’ like this, huh?” Sturdy hands find your ankle and lift your leg to his shoulder, and Toji then moves to have your other leg in between his. Your lips flatten when the groin of his pants—aka, the pitched tent–touches your hole. He whistles, “Oh, now I got a new favorite to add fr’ later.” His words aren’t meant to jest, so you frown as he snickers. “Alright, what did you write for this?”
You lick your lips; why? Toji uses his free hand to bring his sweats down, not surprised by the lack of underwear as his erection springs out. His cock is standing and ready for you, the precum oozing out alluring your eyes and your lip bitten by excited teeth. Of course, your vagina is clenching to a void—anticipation is a hell of a drug affecting your entire figure. 
“Don’t get too distracted, mama,” he caught you eyeing him, lifting the hem of his wife’s beater to bite down on. Your ears and cheeks scorched at the sight of his abs and torso. “Read those words.”
Your gaze flickers to your phone while Toji lines his dick to your entrance, a gulp at the kiss of his glans and your inner labia. “…’Daddy has you propped in a deep impact, a position catered to mutual pleasure and closeness. He taps you with the tip to have you excited, then slowly pushes himself into your—Mmfff!…y-your warmth,” reminding yourself to maintain a steady breath; Toji pushes his cockhead into your slick as you’re distracted. A few seconds fly by, and he slips right in; a gasp exiting your puffy lips indicates so. “‘H–He gently shoves every inch and stretches you out,’” his girth is lethal, your eyes rolling up the further his tip goes, scrapping your texture and your opening suiting for his length. “‘A-And, it feels so good to have him making you full and good’—Hoohh?!?”
That’s it, that’s what you were anxious about—you felt the jab of his tip on your cervix. You freeze instantly, too shocked to breathe as the hit was spontaneous. Your body locks down for a quick second to process what happened.
Toji notices your tightened grip and hisses, “Fffuuckin, shit…! So tight,” his hips go sluggish, and you feel his veins and shaft brush nicely with your insides. You sneak a glance at his flashed abdomen; the flex of his abs as he pushes his pelvis in waves is a sight to see–enough to put you in a trance. 
You continue. “‘His hip work is pleasuring, having you wail and cry out f-for more…the sensation of Daddy’s dick venturing inside and hitting your sweet spots is enough to make your toes curl—Nhhaaa…”
He can sense you gripping on him more; fuck, it feels so good. His thrusts go a little faster, forming a minimal medium. You exhale through your nostrils at the change of pace, and grazes against your walls become periodic and long-lasting the deeper he goes.
 “Daaah, ahhh, f-fuuck,” you whimper aloud. “Tojiii, y’ feel so g—Nnnmm!?!“ You nearly swallow your tongue from the sudden pound of him, the rub of your G-spot too abrupt to predict. 
“Who?” God, you know he’s getting a good kick out of this, the fucker. He pushes his cock to the hilt, and it takes everything in your power not to babble from the overwhelming intensity. 
“Daddy, daddyyy, don’t…!” Correcting yourself as his fingers dance around your unattended clit. “I’m sorry, you just feel so good..”
That’s more like it. “Good girl,” he bends closer, his knees spreading further apart. He pushes the leg on his shoulder so that the angle is plausible for him to rut harder. You shriek and squirm to his enjoyment, “Keep readin’.”
“‘Y-…You’re cries become more shameful the harder and faster he goes,” Toji stimulates for a harsher pound; another hit to your cervix has you winded. Despite your gasping for air, he doesn’t relent, and you jerk to undulate to another poke. “Sh-shiiit, Jesusss…! ‘He pistons so hard, so deep, it’s difficult even to think straight when all you can think is—‘“ a choked sob from a slow pull before a devious snap of the hips. “A-All you c–an think…Ahahh!” Another nudge to your G-spot; this is so hellish!
The culprit scoffs softly. “Think ‘bout what, baby?” He swipes and pinches your clit to have you jolt and whine. “Tell Daddy the rest.” 
Fuck, I can’t take it anymore! The phone slips your hand, barely missing your head. “Daddyyy, I can’t!”
“Why? What’s wrong?” Another pinch to the bud pairs with a poke to your delicate womb. Oh, he’s such a dick! “Don’t wanna read fr’ me?” He chuckles aloud at you shaking your head ‘no’. “Why’s that?”
“C-Cuz, if you keep going, I’ll,” a head thrown back at another nip on your clitoris. “Ahh, I-I’ll…!” Shit, you can feel it, the climb rocking your bones to entail your soon climax. 
“What? Ya wanna cum on Daddy’s dick instead of readin’ like a sweetheart,” don’t believe the words; his faux disappointment doesn’t match the merciless thrusts and the devilish grin. “Wanna act like a whole slut and cum on me?”
“Yesss, yes, pleasee!!” You don’t care anymore; you want to let it out. “Please, Daddyyy, I wanna cummm!!”
“Heh, what a nasty girl you are—Nnnmm! Fuck, just milkin’ me dry, beggin’ fr’ it, huh?” The same fingers he used to play with your clit come to your lips to shove inside, forcing you to taste yourself. “Go ‘head, mama; let y’rself go, be the slut you really are…Hahhh, shit, c’mere,” he grabs for both your wrists with his free hand after taking off your glasses and propels you towards him at the same time as he pounds. Holy fuck, this position was getting rougher, pulling you in and hitting your cervix with accurate hits that you’re whining and twitching. Fuck, fuck, fuuuuck! It’s too much, it’s all too much to bear, so it’s no wonder you climax in seconds.
You cry with the breach of your crescendo, your inner muscles contracting around the cock, hitting your womb. Your nerves are now peaked as the air is sensitive to your skin, and you feel so out of breath, everything happening all at once that you can’t keep up as you thank Toji in babbled prayers, still sucking on his fingers as your vagina flutters and coats him of your essence.
“Good job, cupcake,” he comes closer and removes his digits. “Can’t beat the real thing, right?” He cups and massages your cheeks before spitting into your mouth. 
You don’t even flinch, too fucked out to even care, just moaning to his lips as he brings you in for a passionate kiss as his hips keep going until he’s done and satisfied…
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“Ughhh, I can’t believe I just did that…”
“Pfft quit whinin’. Don’t act like ya didn’t enjoy it.”
“I hate you so fucking much, you know that?”
“Whatever y’ say, Ms. Novelist.” You grumble at the name before he brings the washcloth to wipe down your neck.  
You and Toji were now in the bathroom, your nude bodies squished together, with the warm water cleansing you both. Hair and skin damp, your back meshed to his front as you sit between his legs. The soft yellow lighting basks the bathroom with a warm glow as you two bathe in relaxation, a needed state after the excitement prior. 
You snatch the washcloth before Toji wipes your face clean off. “Why did you have to be so nosy, looking at my laptop for what?” You wipe his arm that rests on the rim of the tub. 
He rolls his eyes, knowing he’s in for a lecture. “Well, if ya didn’t want me to see, shoulda locked the shit.”
“That doesn’t excuse the fact that you’re nosy as hell! Could’ve just looked somewhere else or left the room!”
“Hmph, well, when you see the words ‘Down and Dirty’ all bolded and big and see another tab with a pic of a rimjob, who wouldn’t stop—“
“Okay, okay!” It would be best if you threw the cloth at him for chortling; such an indecorous personality for someone supposedly older than you. “You’re insufferable.”
“Right back at you,” he whispers to your ear and kisses your cheek. You sigh softly from his lips, resting your head on his shoulder while he pecks your chin. The hand in the water finds your thigh to grope and massage, and you moan at the touch and unwind.
Tranquility fills the cozy space between you two as the silence settles in, the humid air comforting to your nose and eyes, and the drip of the faucet plucking into the tub water is a soothing sound to cajole you into a dormant plane. 
However, even when relaxing, it doesn’t stop the bothersome feeling of asking Toji something. And where better than with you in his secure embrace? “Toji,” his name has him open an eye to look your way. “You don’t think I’m…weird, don’t you?”
He raises a brow. “Explain.”
“Like, don’t you find it weird that me, your partner, indulges in hobbies that are…you know, like that,” now your eyes trail away from his gaze. “Writing about fictional fantasies and such, looking up erotic material and stuff…”
A few seconds fly as he scoffs. “Baby, I’ve been lookin’ at porn way before I met you—“
“Th–That’s not what I meant??”
“Besides, it’s nothing more than just writin’ shit that doesn’t exist. Hmm, if anything, now I know y’re just as big of a pervert as I am.”
Anxiousness transitions to peeve. “You are so—“
“Do you like what you do?” 
The question takes you aback; the immediate serious tone switch wasn’t expected. “…I..yeah.”
“Are ya hurtin’ anyone?”
“No…at least I don’t want to.”
“Are ya hurtin’ y’reself?” You see what he’s doing, the glint shining from his viridian orb.
“No. I…like this hobby.”
Finally, a small smile contorts that scar of his. “Then I don’t mind it. It’s what ya like to do, so do whatever, sweetie.” He comes to kiss your nose and rest his forehead with yours. “I like ya bein’ a lil’ weird anyway.”
“Jackass…” And there you go, falling in love with him again. You cup his cheek, kiss the other, and repose onto his shoulder with a blissful sigh. 
“Now,” you blink back to him. “Can’t lie, think you gotta start callin’ me ‘Daddy’ from now on,” like a scratched record, your heart stops, especially with his mischievous smirk. “Where can I read the rest of y’r stuff at?”
“That’s it,” you ignore his annoying bark of laughter as you try to squirm out of his hold. “Let me out of here, get me out of this fucking tub.”
“Haha, hey, quit it; y’re spillin’ the water!”
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© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 – reblogs + comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ☆ header art by rororogi morgera + dividers by @/cafekitsune + @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more.
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