#i don’t think you guys understand how much i love this meme

[styxbugg]

They make the doozer sticks rainbow for June, like a major corporation would

Pt 2 to this

[valeriehalla]

I am so utterly fascinated by “Saki”, the 18-year-running mahjong manga in which you, the reader, become gradually, frog-boilingly aware (over the course of nearly two decades’ worth of mahjong tournaments) that none of these girls are wearing underwear and most of their boobs are slowly expanding.

I need you to understand that I have, like, an anthropological level fascination with this comic. From the perspective of someone who is also a comic artist and writer, two things delight me about it:

the fact that I understand completely how an artist gets from “the fans can have a little hint of skirted asscheek” to “the pussy is completely out on center page” over the course of 18 years; and

the way in which the pussy being out is treated by the characters and diegesis as being utterly unremarkable.

Okay. Point 1. The frog-boiling.

Let me put this in perspective for you. There was already a meme about how the characters in “Saki” don’t wear underwear when I was in middle school. I am thirty now. Okay? And it’s still going.

In the time since, this has stopped being a joke. It is now indisputable canon. This is not because anyone outright says it at any point. It’s because the underwear ran out of places to hide. I’m obsessed with this thought: somewhere in the over 20 volumes of “Saki”, there is a panel in which underwear was objectively deconfirmed. And it would be so hard to figure out where that panel actually is. Maybe the artist didn’t even realize it when she drew it! The frog? Boiling!!

And of course there is also the breast expansion. I don’t know how to put a spin on this. They are just expanding. Like, this happens a lot with artists: you define a character as being, in your mind, “the one with the big boobs”, and over the years you emphasize that trait further and further so that the signal doesn’t get lost in the noise. It’s just that normally—in like a wildly popular manga series about mahjong published by literally Square Enix, for example—normally there would be a point at which the boobs stopped getting bigger. Like, an editor would step in or something. Or you would get to the point where you cannot draw the character in the same panel as her mahjong tiles without her breasts spilling over the tiles, and you’d go, “Well, this is now untenable.”

That did not happen. There is no ceiling. The frog is soup.

Point 2. The complete and utter mundanity of all of this.

It’s like this, okay: there’s no shortage of trashy ecchi manga out there. There’s a million other comics doing wildly bawdier things with wildly more improbable bishoujos.

The vibe with “Saki” is different.

It’s hard to explain this, but it feels like the world of the comic is fundamentally uninterested in the fanservice happening on the page. I cannot describe it as “leering”, because I cannot conceive of a person in the story from whose point of view one would leer. I think the artist is probably into it—I can’t imagine anyone is making her do this—but “Saki” the comic has no opinion on the matter.

There are essentially no male characters in “Saki”. Like, there was one guy? Kind of? At the very beginning? But he is gone now. They put him back in the toybox. He does not exist. It appears to be some level of canonical that in the world of “Saki”, almost all humans are women. Those women are sometimes romantically into each other. According to comments the artist has made on Twitter (which I cannot source), they have lesbian baby technology, so it’s no problem. It’s so much not a problem that the story is about mahjong, instead of any of that.

So, like, the fiction here appears to be this: this is the, like, meta-narrative of the fanservice of “Saki”, right: it’s just normal that they don’t wear underwear and their boobs are arbitrarily big. It’s been normal. It was normal before the story of the manga began. It’s just how things are. Nobody bats an eye about it, and if they do, it’s in sort of a lesbian kind of way so like what’s the problem, we love lesbians here. This is literally normal for girls.

The fanservice simply diffuses into this all-encompassing aura of disembodied, ambient sluttiness. The framing of the panels demands you acknowledge it, and the story demands you already be over it, because it’s mahjong time now, and we’re playing mahjong.

Do you get??? why I’m so fascinated??? Are you not a little enraptured???

Anyway, I have no idea how to end this weird post. I guess the conclusion is that women stay winning????

[kikyoupdates]

Girlfriend-For-Hire ⭑˚🦋⭑ 𝟶𝟷

yandere!ocs x f!reader

yandere, reverse harem, yandere reverse harem, original characters x fem!reader, slowburn, slowburn yandere

Hoping to try something new and earn a bit of money on the side, you join an app that lets people hire you for your dating services. The idea is pretty straightforward — you pose as the client's girlfriend for a brief period of time, and in turn, you receive payment. But you didn't foresee everyone getting so attached to you, and suddenly, they're no longer satisfied with a fabricated relationship.

story masterlist | next

“...you can do what now?”

“Hire someone to date you,” your friend, Ava, repeats. She chuckles and waves you off dismissively. “Come on, [Name]. It’s the modern age. People are always coming up with new things these days. I’m willing to bet there’s an app or website out there for practically anything.”

You blink in disbelief. Granted, there is all kinds of crazy shit going on in the world, and you’ve heard of companionship services before—like escorts or sugar baby arrangements—but to hear that something like this is trending nowadays is still undeniably a shock. 

“Here, look,” Ava gestures, pulling out her phone. “I was curious, so I downloaded the app the other day just to check out.” 

“Uh, don’t you already have a boyfriend?”

“He knows I was just browsing. I showed him too, and we scrolled through some stuff together. A lot of the profiles on here are wild,” she laughs. “It’s crazy what people advertise they’re willing to do. Get a load of this guy. He says he’s down to meet your family and make a total ass out of himself just so that he lowers your parents’ standards and the next real boyfriend you get will look way better by comparison.”

“Fucking hell,” you mutter. “I can’t tell if this is actually real, or just some new meme template.” 

“Of course it’s real! I think you’re underestimating how lonely people these days are. There’s definitely a lot of money to be made in this industry. Just look at how much people are willing to blow on their favorite streamer, even though they’ve never met them a day in their life. Dating’s gotten a lot more complicated lately, so I guess some people just want to skip past the troublesome parts and experience what it’s like to be with someone.” 

You furrow your brows. The whole thing sounds incredibly sad when you think of it that way. People would rather pay for a fabricated relationship than put in the time and effort towards building something real? Loneliness is starting to sound like an actual epidemic nowadays. 

“Well, I guess I shouldn’t judge people without understanding where they’re coming from,” you acknowledge. “It’s not like I know what they’ve been through. Times are changing and all. It sounds like this is actually starting to become pretty mainstream.” 

Ava nods chipperly. “Yep! I mean, I love my boyfriend, so I’m definitely not the target audience, but maybe it’s what some people need to gain a little boost of confidence and get back into the dating scene. I doubt everyone uses it in a romantic sense too. There are people out there that just want a bit of company every now and then. Isn’t it nice that they have someone to spend time with this way?” 

“Yeah… I guess that’s true.” 

Honestly, you’re still struggling to fully wrap your head around this. You understand the premise well enough, but you can’t really get past the part about accepting payment just to provide someone with a fabricated experience. Then again, you suppose that’s the case for most things nowadays. People are willing to spend the brunt of their earnings on in-game purchases for video games and other things that aren’t tangible in the real world, because even though they aren’t necessarily organic, it still provides them with some satisfaction. 

Long story short, it’s not up to you to decide what does or doesn’t make someone else happy, and you suppose as long as it’s executed in a professional manner, there’s nothing wrong with meeting new people this way. 

“Hey, I’ve got a great idea,” Ava suddenly perks up. “You should join this app! You’re super pretty, smart, and nice. I bet you’d have loads of guys lining up to hire you as their girlfriend!”

“Me?” You blink repeatedly, shuffling backwards the closer she leans in. “I mean, I just don’t think I’m the right person for the job. If it makes people happy, then I support it, but deep down, I worry I’d feel like I’m exploiting someone’s feelings just for a few extra bucks. Morally speaking, I’m not so sure I like the idea…” 

“It’s not exploitation,” she insists. “People know what they’re signing up for. At the end of the day, it’s a buyer-seller relationship. Someone pays for the service being advertised, and they receive it. As long as you’re not ambiguous about what you’re willing to do for the amount that you’re charging, people know what to expect. Of course, I’m sure there might be the occasional asshole here and there, but if they do anything inappropriate or violate the terms, you can report them through the app and they’ll be banned from using it.” 

You’re not quite sure how to respond to that. Some extra money would be nice. You’re a university student with all sorts of loans, so it’s not like you’ve got excess cash lying around. And it’s also true that you’ve been looking to apply for a new job lately, since your old manager was a total ass and you ended up quitting. 

Still. A girlfriend-for-hire? Someone like you? It’s just really difficult to imagine. 

“I actually think it’d be a good experience,” Ava goes on. “You’ve never really put yourself out there before. I know everyone dates at their own pace and stuff, but you shouldn’t have to be afraid. Who knows? Maybe you’ll meet some cool people and want to date them for real. And even if you don’t end up going for them, you still make some money, so either way, you’ve got nothing to lose.”

You chuckle weakly. “Yeah, I just don’t know. I feel like I’m better suited for traditional jobs. But thanks for the vote of confidence. I’m glad you think people would actually be willing to pay to date me.” 

“Girl, you seriously need to believe in yourself more,” Ava sighs. “I’m telling you, you’re a catch. But at the end of the day, it’s your call. You shouldn’t force yourself into anything if you feel uncomfortable.”

You smile and nod in agreement, and sensing your discomfort, Ava decides to change the topic.

But for some reason, you feel a twinge in your chest, and it’s hard to keep your mind from wandering.

Later that same day, you’re lounging on the couch, mouth agape, having just downloaded the app on your own phone. 

“What the hell am I doing…?” 

You tell yourself that it’s just simple curiosity. Yeah. That’s all it is. Ava piqued your interest earlier, and now you just want to scroll through in more detail to get a better sense of what kind of people use this platform. 

The app is called ‘Partner For Hire’. The name isn’t particularly inspired, you have to admit, but you suppose it communicates its point rather effectively and leaves no room for ambiguity. Ultimately, this is a transactional relationship, and it’s probably for the best that clients know what to expect. 

You can use the app as either a buyer or seller. Meaning that you can create your profile and advertise your services, or simply list yourself as a prospective client and what your hobbies and interests are. In that sense, it’s kind of similar to most dating apps, since you have to take a flattering photo to go along with whatever blurb you’re providing. Of course, just because you try to solicit someone’s services doesn’t mean there’s any guarantee they’ll accept. This is an app where you can run everything yourself, and of course the company takes a cut of your profits, rather than an agency that matches you with a client regardless of whether you want to accept the job or not. 

There’s definitely a lot of flexibility, and you can easily choose who you want to pretend to date. If someone is interested in hiring you, they submit a request to be able to contact you, and once you accept, you can message them directly and establish the terms of the dating contract, such as the length and what particular services will be provided. 

You scroll through the list of boyfriends/girlfriends being advertised on the app, and honestly, it seems like there’s a decent amount of money to be made. Of course, a lot of that comes with building a good reputation and improving your ratings and visibility so more people will want to hire you, but it actually seems like a decent amount of people are able to make a living off this sort of thing. 

You bite down on your lower lip. Should you really go ahead and just do it? Like Ava said, there’s probably not much to lose. All the transactions are managed on the app, so you can easily report people who try to skip out on paying. Clients have to link their banking and personal info, so they’d be taking on a big risk by trying to scam people. You’re sure it might happen from time to time, but based on the reviews you’ve read, the company is really good at enforcing their policies and making sure everyone gets paid.

The money seems good, and it would definitely help take some pressure off your student loans, but ultimately, the biggest thing you’re struggling with is your moral compass.

People are willing to spend money for this kind of thing, and that’s entirely their choice to make, so it’s not like you’re extorting them or anything. Still… you wonder if it’s actually okay to profit off of someone else’s loneliness. You’ve never worked the kind of job that requires you to cater directly to another person’s emotions, and it kind of freaks you out.

But maybe Ava is right. There are all sorts of people in this world. Maybe some of them are just curious to try the app out. Maybe others just want to get their families off their back by pretending like they’re dating someone for a little while. There’s no way to discern everyone’s motivations, so perhaps there’s really no point in thinking about it at all. 

Most importantly, this could be a good thing for you. Life has been stagnant recently, and it’s true that you usually hesitate to put yourself out there. You’ll never learn what you do or don’t like if you keep on avoiding everything. This could be a chance to learn a lot about other people, but also, to learn more about yourself. 

Yeah. It’s time to stop overthinking for a change and just try something new. 

Thus, feeling unusually determined, you spend the rest of the day setting up your profile (finding nice selfies was the longest part of the whole ordeal), and with a resolved huff, you post it and officially go live on the app. 

You’re not really sure what you were expecting, but needless to say, there isn’t any immediate feedback. It probably takes a while for people to stumble across your profile, and even then, there’s no guarantee they’ll want to go out with you. 

I guess I was getting worked up for no reason. Certain people might find success with this kind of thing, but it’s probably not as easy as it looks. 

You scratch your cheek, suddenly sheepish over how needlessly excited you got earlier. You’re not used to stepping out of your comfort zone, so you must have gotten a bit carried away. 

For the rest of the evening, you set your phone aside and come back to reality. You get some homework done, make dinner, and by the time you’re ready for bed, you’ve pretty much forgotten about the whole thing altogether. 

That is, until you check and see that you’ve missed a notification.

“Huh? Someone viewed my profile and wants to message me?”

You’re undeniably taken aback. Not just because it’s happening a lot sooner than you expected, but also because it means that contrary to what you first thought, people are interested in you. 

Having minimal experience when it comes to dating and romance in general, you have to admit, the thought of being viewed as desirable is immensely flattering. 

Curious to see who wants to hire your services, you click on the user’s profile.

His name is Isaac, and he’s twenty-one years old, set to complete his undergraduate studies at the end of the year. He goes to a different university than yours, thankfully, because you can’t help but feel like it would be incredibly awkward to bump into him on campus after pretending to be his girlfriend. He’s studying to become a doctor, which means he’s still got a lot of school ahead of him, but you’ve always had a lot of admiration for people who are willing to commit to their goals and work hard. 

Also, even though you don’t want to sound shallow or anything… he’s really, really attractive. 

You frown. Granted, there’s more to a person than their appearance, but based on how he comes across in his profile and what his future career is, he doesn’t strike you as the type of person who would struggle to date someone.

But again, you can never know what’s going on in a stranger’s life. And there’s no real way to find out why he decided to join the app.

Apart from speaking to him directly, of course. 

[𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬?]

>>[𝐘𝐄𝐒]

After a momentary delay, the screen loads into a messaging interface, allowing you to see what Isaac sent you and respond to him directly.  

You stare at the messages without blinking, just taking it all in. So, there really are people like him out there, who use these apps for reasons other than seeking companionship. It sounds like he’s not too interested in dating for real, but his parents are putting a lot of pressure on him, so he just wants an escape. Honestly, you can’t blame him for it. Your parents were overbearing for the better portion of your life—even now, as an adult—so you can understand just how suffocating it gets at times.

All of a sudden, you don’t feel too bad about accepting the job. It doesn’t feel like exploitation in the slightest. In fact, you’d be helping someone resolve a frustration situation, while getting paid in the process. It actually sounds like it could be rather fulfilling. 

More importantly, you decided to be more confident and try something new. You refuse to back out now. 

You stare at the messages without blinking, just taking it all in. So, there really are people like him out there, who use these apps for reasons other than seeking companionship. It sounds like he’s not too interested in dating for real, but his parents are putting a lot of pressure on him, so he just wants an escape. Honestly, you can’t blame him for it. Your parents were overbearing for the better portion of your life—even now, as an adult—so you can understand just how suffocating it gets at times. 

All of a sudden, you don’t feel too bad about accepting the job. It doesn’t feel like exploitation in the slightest. In fact, you’d be helping someone resolve a frustration situation, while getting paid in the process. It actually sounds like it could be rather fulfilling. 

More importantly, you decided to be more confident and try something new. You refuse to back out now. 

[𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞]:

You’re admittedly a bit nervous, especially since you want to do a good job and avoid letting him down, but mostly, you’re feeling excited. All of this is uncharted territory for you, after all. Never in a million years would you have imagined taking on a job like this. 

And you really shouldn’t have.

You don’t know it yet, but this will be the cause of many, many regrets. 

Shit. I’m starting to have second thoughts. 

Even now, you still can’t believe you’re really going through with this. After talking to Isaac and ironing out the finer details, you agreed to join him for a family gathering and pose as his girlfriend. You expected for him to have quite a few requests, but luckily, he seems pretty laid back about the whole thing. The better portion of your conversation was spent on getting your stories straight so as not to incur any suspicion, and since you’ve always been a good student and a hard worker, you promptly memorized everything there was to know. 

And now, it’s finally time to put this plan in motion. 

“Hey,” Isaac greets. “[Name], right?”

It’s the evening, since his parents are hosting a dinner party. The event is supposed to be pretty casual, but you still dressed up semi-formal in the hopes of making a good impression. He never explicitly mentioned how strict his parents are, but since they’ve been on his case about getting a girlfriend, it never hurts to go the extra mile. 

"Hi, Isaac,” you smile. “It’s so nice to meet you.” 

“You, too,” he nods. He’s considerably taller than you, and every bit as handsome as his picture suggested. Unless his personality is god-awful (which you probably would’ve picked up on after messaging him for so long), you’ve got a good feeling that most girls would be interested in him.

Still, everyone is different. He might have really high standards, or maybe he wants to focus on his studies, or perhaps it’s just a case of having never met the right person. Whatever the reason may be, his parents shouldn’t be pressuring him to date someone, and if you have the means to help him out, you’ll happily do it. 

“You look really nice,” Isaac says. He tilts his head to the side. “I hope you didn’t feel like you had to dress up to impress anyone. The most important part is that they believe I’m seeing someone so that they finally ease up a bit.” 

“Oh, I just did this for my own peace of mind,” you reassure. “I made sure to memorize everything you told me in advance, so I’m confident I can convince them that we’re the real deal. Even though this is technically my first day on the job… I promise not to let you down.” 

You blush, feeling rather flustered. The idea of being someone’s hired girlfriend is still a lot to wrap your head around, and you certainly don’t want to make empty promises, but you have every intention of giving it your best shot. Isaac is in a stressful situation, and you’re resolved to do whatever you can to fix it. 

“Can’t wait to get this over with,” Isaac sighs. He opens the passenger door and gestures for you to step inside the car. “Don’t worry. I know you might be feeling a bit uneasy, but I promise I’m not a serial killer or anything like that. I won’t hold it against you if you have 911 ready on speed dial until we get to my parents’ house.” 

“I trust you,” you insist. “I’ve heard good things about this app, and it sounds like they take safety seriously. They’ve got your information in their system, after all. Plus, I can tell that you’re a nice guy. It’s just a gut feeling.”

“I appreciate it,” he smiles. “Anyways… I guess I’ve stalled for long enough. You can probably tell that I really don’t feel like going. But the sooner I get them off my back, the better.” 

“I’ll be the best girlfriend you can ask for,” you beam. 

It’s a promise to him, but also to yourself. You are committed to taking this new job seriously, and for the rest of the evening, you will do whatever it takes to blend into the role that’s been thrust upon you. There’s no reason to get worked up. At the end of the day, all of this is pretend. It won’t be anywhere near as complicated as a real relationship.

Right?

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[deadghosy]

can i have a headcanon for lucifer morningstar with elder sister! reader? I am just in desperate need for family stuff. Like elder sister! reader is nto weak and as powerful as lucifer (maybe a tiny bit stronger since th eboth of them are archangel).

Like elder sister!reader decided to follow her younger brother lucifer to hell by becoming a fallen angel too because she is very worried for him. (even knowing the punishment are brutal and harsh but she does not care) I would love if you make the dynamic between the two where reader is the more sterner, fiercer and scary one (like maybe she used to be a commander of an angel army before) and then lucifer is just a little guy who loves ducks (he can beat ass too lol) thanks for reading and i will appreciate a lot if you start writing my ideas! take care!

ELDER SISTER! READER X PLATONIC HAZBIN HOTEL

Prompt: You are the elder sister of Lucifer Morningstar who couldn’t help but fall down for your young brother.

Warning:: Episode 8 mentions

Your brother, Lucifer Morningstar fell because of his “differences” being called a “trouble maker.” And simply having different ideas. You were different from your former younger brother as you were stern and serious at all times. But when Lucifer went to court and got sent to his own creation. Your eyes widen with fear and shocked.

You didn’t want to question things at the moment. But as hours, days, weeks, months, and then a few years pass. You couldn’t help but had enough as you started to question Sera and her rules. You didn’t believe in this type of punishment your younger brother had. But you guessed it was enough to the point you fell too.

YEARS LATER

You live with Lucifer as he was happy to see you were alive and well. Immediately when you came by his palace with your wings spout out that looked like his. He was ecstatic. He jumped into your arms with silly smile. He always loved being in your arms as he was scared how you would think of him when he fell. But you?! He was confused.

He asked you as you told him what happened and Lucifer felt his heart melt seeing his older sister care for him that much. And he started to cry while you sigh with a smile not surprised at this. You gave him a napkin which he gladly took letting you in his home which is now your home.

After he calmed down he told you how he has a daughter but an ex wife. You raised a brow as he explains his relationship with Lilith. You guess it must brought him to depression as his eye were having bags. So you cheered him up with a few fireworks which made his eyes light up as if he was a child again.

You became the 2nd ruler of hell as you were the commander back in heaven. But not any more.

Lucifer tried to tell you how he tried to give “his” people freedom and they ruined it, but you didn’t care as you put a hand out signaling him to stop. Lucifer listened looking down.

“I do not care. They shall not use freedom this way. But don’t worry young brother.” You patted his shoulder. “I won’t be harsh.”

And indeed you weren’t harsh but you were strict around some of pentagram city. Sinners understand the assignment immediately and there were less crimes around.

HEADCANNONS:

You know that meme where a person and standing there calmly and the other person is going crazy and bouncing around?

Yeah that’s you and Lucifer…cause he was being hyper fixated about his ducks to you as you just stood there and smile softly.

That soft mother like smile of yours made Lucifer feel like home as he explains more to you.

Hell, when he would miss you he would make a small opera where you had joined him in hell and how you would fix him dinner or breakfast when he came home. Just like a normal human family.

If you were getting messed with, Lucifer is full on demon mode as you held him back by his white coat with a sigh. He knows you can protect yourself but damn. He sure can throw a mean punch at assholes.

You guys do hobbies together, like he would make ducks and you would do [hobby]. It was always a calm day

I headcannon Lucifer to follow behind you like a lost duckling while you walk around the palace doing your job. You’re taller than him obviously cause you are powerful. It’s an adorable sight though.

When Charlie heard that she had an aunt, and you were in hell too! She was amazed with stars in her eyes as she wanted to meet you immediately.

And so you did. You showed up at the hotel with an angelic smile as Alastor narrowed his eyes at you but still kept a smile. You hug Charlie as she hugged you back while jumping. Charlie starts to rant about her dreams and it made you realized how much she is Lucifer’s daughter as you smile down at her.

But then she tells you how the angels are going to attack the hotel and that made you sigh as you held a dark gaze.

You have just met your niece and no one shall harm her and her dreams.

It was basically giving, “I have just met Charlie and I would kill someone for her!”😭

So when the battle started unnoticed by you. Lucifer notified you about what’s happening as your eyes widen quickly with a flash. A red mist makes Lucifer coughs covering his nose. He had forgotten how quick you were at times.

As you fly down with heavy wings, Adam and lute over a force field. You let out a breath happy to see that the hotel was fine. Until Adam broke it as your eyes widen. You swoop in killing the Exorcists left and right.

As you kill Lucifer pops up seeing Adam tormenting his daughter, bringing out his protectiveness. He saved Charlie only for Adam to get up and berate them. You fly down gracefully holding a cold look.

“Woah, didn’t know sweet tits had fallen like her loser bro-”

Before he could say anything, a heavenly glowing light beams through him as Adam gasps on the floor holding his chest. Everything went silent as people were shocked at the one shot.

“That’s my sister, AND your aunt!” Lucifer says elbowing Charlie gently with a smug smile as Charlie is jaw dropped at how you can one shot someone.

Hopefully you liked it <33

[revelboo]

I'm like that meme of the girl being offered like 10 plates of pancakes at once, I can't keep up with all this delicious food, thank you for all of this 🙏

You’re welcome, glad you like my silliness

Everything is Alright Pt 47

IDW Starscream x Reader

18+ content 🌶️

• There’s so many things he wants to say, but nothing comes out because fear has him by the throat. The worry that one impulsive action has ruined everything between you two. Especially as your face reddens and you look away. Like you can’t look at him. Maybe he’d been too rough. Or maybe you regret what you’d done with him. He wants to pull you close, hold you, but you won’t look at him and he can feel his wings beginning to tremble. Because it’s all wrong. Why had he thought he deserved to have this, too?

• Face flushed, you don’t know what to do now, because this is so much worse than your worst awkward first time with someone new. He’s just staring at you and you have no idea what he’s thinking. What he wants, because his spike is still buried inside you and he’s not said a word. Maybe it’d been weird to him, maybe your two species aren’t compatible at all even if you fit together that way. Because something’s clearly upsetting him, his wings wracked with those faint tremors like he’s angry. And suddenly you’re fighting against tears you don’t wholly understand.

• Slipping free of your wet heat, he wishes you’d say something. Anything. Instead, your eyes go shiny and wet with tears. Sitting back, he drags you into his lap, hooking an arm around you when you try to twist your back to him. Trying to hide from him again. Why now? “I hurt you,” he growls, trying to catch your chin in his servos to make you look at him. Of course he had, it’s all he’s ever been truly good at. Burning every good thing he has to the ground before it can be taken away or turned against him.

• You try to shake your head as he grips your chin and forces you to meet his optics. Searching for something in your eyes. “You didn’t,” you reassure him, unable to say the rest. To ask if you’d done something wrong, if it hadn’t been good for him. Venting heavily, he swipes a servo under your eyes, his expression rueful like he doesn’t quite believe you. “You didn’t say anything after,” you finally manage, pulling against his grip, because you really just want to hide your face against him and he lets you.

• “Neither did you,” he murmurs, trying to figure this out in tentative little steps. Was this okay? Really okay? It doesn’t seem right that he’d be allowed this, when he already has so much of you. “We’re both awful at this,” he says with a huff of laughter, tucking your head under his chin, arms curling around you. “But for Primus’s sake stop crying.” Because he can feel your tears wetting his mesh. Feel as you give a hitching little laugh and that awful, painful awkwardness between you eases just a bit. Little steps forward.

• Somehow it’s almost a relief that he’s as awkward as you are. And funny in a decidedly unfunny way when you realize how it must have looked to him when you started crying right after. Oh, no guy human or otherwise would love that. That’s what makes you reach up to pull his head down and arch up in his grip to kiss him. Feeling his arms tighten around you, his spike stirring where it’s trapped between your bodies as his low growl rumbles through you. Trying to tell him all the things you’re too awkward and scared to say out loud.

Previous

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[starcurtain]

I wish everyone collectively understood aventurine’s character like you…things would be so much easier! I genuinely don’t understand how people keep getting his motivations wrong??? Could it be because some of the most popular Aven fanfics were written prior to his release? That could have contributed to some of the takes we tend to see about him…thoughts?

I struggled all day to come up with a concise way to answer this and couldn't think of one, so here, have a long-winded ramble:

I don't think early fic writers have much impact in the situation with Aventurine's character now, since most people can look at when a story was posted and go "Oh, this was before we had ____ information."

I think that Aventurine's problem is being a male character in a gacha game. Gacha game characters are designed to sell. Hoyo can sell female characters very, very easily. Give her huge tits and a visible underwear strap and you're good to go. I love all my guy friends, but I'm not gonna sugarcoat it: straight men are not the hardest audience to please. Hit a particular fetish (feet, spandex, dommy mommy), and you're gucci.

Nah, we all know why Jade's trailer is Like That.™

Male characters in gacha are harder to sell because women as consumers are a little harder to predict. Does every woman want a tall, ripped hunk? Shit, no, small cute boyish models like Aventurine are selling better now? Why?! Would a bad boy be more popular than a nice guy??? It's harder to account for women's tastes, especially because they are often (a little) less visually-oriented.

Hoyo is good at what they do though, and they've figured out that male characters sell very well when they possess at least one of two specific traits:

Endearing vulnerability/helplessness

Gay ship tease

Give a character both, like Aventurine? They might as well be printing money.

That sound you hear is Hoyo's stock prices rising.

So, from the very beginning, Hoyo is incentivized to create a character that appeals to people, a character people will want to crack their wallets open for. And they achieved this, first and foremost, by giving Aventurine traits that female players (in particular, but men too), find especially appealing: emotional and physical vulnerability.

We see Aventurine's pain. We sympathize with his grief. We identify with his struggle to make meaning of his difficult life. He's our woobie, blorbo, babygirl, whatever the hell they're calling it now.

He can't hide his suffering anymore. He's on the very edge. He's a dude in distress. He's surrounded by enemies! He misses his mama! He's been betrayed! No one understands him like you do, dear player!

The ultimate feeling evoked is: He needs to be saved.

When people talk about male power fantasies, I think they forget that women can experience them too, and "Emotionally vulnerable man that only I (or my favorite character) can fix" is actually a female power fantasy.

And from there it's really easy, right: the people who shell out cash to buy warps for their harmed-husbando feel like they've saved him; the people who are into mlm ships look for the nearest hot dude to be the savior Ratio was waiting for his time lol.

Morally and intellectually, this type of deep-down-golden-hearted, emotionally-wounded male character is very easy to digest. There is nothing to dislike about this type of character or role in the story: this character is a good guy who has just gone through so many terrible situations, whose victim status makes him endearing, and whose lack of agency means that any of the questionable or downright bad things he does are always the result of someone else forcing his hand, and never something he would have chosen himself.

His motivations are always clear and consistent: get free, heal, and live happily ever after.

Insert the Wreck-It Ralph meme: "Do people assume all your problems got solved when a big strong man showed up?" But to be fair, a big strong man did kind of solve Aventurine's problem, so--

Anyway, it's simple. It's straightforward. Morally, it's pretty cut and dry, black and white: Aventurine is our hero, which means everyone dictating the course of his miserable life is evil.

Hoyo is not remotely discouraging people from literally buying into this emotional appeal.

And trust me, I get it. I'll be the first to admit that hurt-comfort is its own entire genre in fandom because it is so appealing. People eat up Aventurine's tragic backstory like candy! The idea of watching a character go through hell at the hands of bad guys just to finally find a happy end is like the definition of everyone's favorite story.

In fact... people love Aventurine's suffering so much, they have invented whole new ways for him to suffer that aren't even in the game.

This is where we get all the headcanons that Aventurine was a sex slave, every single person he meets hates him because of his race, the Stonehearts are executioners holding knives to his throat, Jade enslaved him to the IPC with a lifelong contract, his material possessions belong to the company, the IPC is forcing him to take only the most dangerous missions where he is being required by his evil jailers to continually put his life on the line... You name it and I promise you, I can find a fanfic where Aventurine suffers from it. 😂

Bro can't even sleep in on his day off; life is so hard for this man.

Being serious: if the game is telling us that Aventurine is a victim... Why not make him the perfect victim?

Why not envision an Aventurine with no freedom, who bears no responsibility for any of the horrible situations he is in or any of the dubious things he does?

It's so natural to like that version of Aventurine, so appealing to see a totally powerless underdog use his own wits and charms to claw his way up to freedom. Or, if you're the kind who really relishes angst: It's even appealing to see Aventurine lose more. To delight in fics where he loses his wealth, where the IPC punishes him for past crimes while he's powerless to stop them... (I assure you, this is many people's cup of tea and the fanfics prove it!)

Ultimately, there's nothing wrong with liking characters who are exactly this straightforward! It's completely fine to embrace characters that are intentionally written to be morally above-board, whose primary role in the story is to generate angst by being a good person who suffers, or those characters who never show unlikable traits, bad decisions, or contradictory actions.

The problem is that that's just not who the game is telling us Aventurine is.

Hoyo may be capitalizing off people who love to envision poor Aventurine still living his life as a slave... But the game also needs to tell a complicated enough story overall to appeal to people who don't care about this specific husbando--Aventurine's role in the actual game's plot has to be interesting enough for almost everyone to appreciate it, not just Aventurine's simp squad. (Don't get mad, I'm in the simp squad with you.)

So his character doesn't stop at just being a pure-hearted victim who is still waiting to be saved.

Aventurine is not that easy to label, and I think the biggest struggle in this character's fandom right now is between people who prefer the even-more-angsty, still-a-slave Aventurine versus people who want a morally grey, self-destructive character instead.

To me personally, while I greatly understand the appeal of fanon!Aventurine and the joy of a really juicy angst fic where characters lose it all, I think that missing out on the depth that canon is suggesting would be a real loss on the fandom's part.

The character motivations that Aventurine shows in the game are complicated. They cancel each other out. They're basically self-harm! He makes almost every situation he's in worse for himself--on purpose.

He is a good person, but also a person who has done unspeakable things. He does have morals, but he's not above allowing those who don't have them to use him to their advantage.

He's both the victim and the victor. He's his own worst enemy. He's a lost little boy who's been making terrible decisions for himself since he was like eight years old, and a grown ass man who is barely managing to fake his way through an existence that destiny is not letting him quit.

This kind of character is a lot harder to embrace. He's done things that most people would find appalling--like willingly joining up with the organization that let his entire race be massacred. He's invented a whole new peacock persona to frivolously flaunt riches he doesn't even care about (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 101). He actively plays into racist stereotypes about his people to manipulate others through their preconceived expectations. He's made a mockery of his mother's and sister's hopes and dreams by endlessly trying to throw his own life away.

He has flaws! He bet everything he had on a ploy without doing his homework to find out if the people he was risking his life for were even still around. (Maybe he already knew, and couldn't bear to admit it, even to himself.) He's intentionally off-putting and obnoxious to everyone he meets (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 102). He terrifies everyone who gets close to him by (seemingly) carelessly throwing himself into the jaws of death without the slightest provocation.

He knowingly allows the IPC to exploit his power and talents for profit. Did everyone forget that his role in the Strategic Investment Department is asset liquidation?! Like, his actual day-to-day job is ruining people's lives. Canonically, Aventurine kills people when his deals go bad.

His motivations change off-screen in two lines of story text. We're told in one line that his biggest reason for joining the IPC was to make money to save the Avgin, then in the next line we find out that's impossible. And... then what? What motivations does he even have now? The whole point of his character arc from 2.0-2.1 is that he was on the edge of giving in to utter despair and nihilism because he couldn't even perceive a single reason to stay alive. He has no purpose in life before Penacony, and that didn't start with the Stonehearts at all??

People keep saying Aventurine was held in the IPC by golden handcuffs, but how do you tie down someone for whom profit is meaningless? What can you offer to a man whose only desire is to bring back something already lost forever? How do you imprison someone whose only definition of freedom is, canonically, death?

Working for the Stonehearts is obviously not healthy. But that's why Aventurine was doing it--because taking dangerous missions allowed him to put himself at risk. The job that he originally pursued hoping to save his people became a direct means to self-harm, and the IPC's only real role in that was just happily profiting off the results.

The journal entries for Aventurine's quests are there deliberately to tell the player what is on his mind, and none of it has to do with escaping from his job:

Like... Work is the least of this man's problems.

At really the risk of rambling on too long now, he's also just a massive walking contradiction:

Aventurine is among the most explicitly religious characters in the game, yet he's one of the only people in the entire game that we have ever seen actively question his people's aeon.

You might be tempted to think Aventurine's risky gambles with his life as an adult are a result of giving up after finding out about the Avgin massacre... Butttt no, Hoyo makes sure to tell us that even at knee-high in the Sigonian desert, Kakavasha was already willing to risk himself in a fight to the death against monsters because even back then he found his own life to have less value than a single memento.

He's the "chosen one" who will lead his people to prosperity... except they're all dead.

He's explicitly suicidal... andddd also a pathstrider of Preservation.

He wants to die... He doesn't want to die. He wants to make it end, yet goes to staggering lengths to continually survive. (Every plan risks his life on purpose--but every plan's win condition is also to live.) He life is the chip tossed down, but his hand is trembling beneath the table. When faced with an otherwise unsurvivable situation, Aventurine literally became a winner of the Hunger Games. He beat other innocent people to death with his own chain-bound hands just to come out alive.

He knows the IPC failed the Avgin and left them to die... and he still willingly sought out a position of power in their organization. Maybe he really is after revenge... but maybe not.

He starts his journey in the IPC with a truly noble goal in mind: to help his people using his newfound wealth and power. He's a good guy who did genuinely want to save the Avgin and repay all those who helped him. But once it became clear he was too late, once it was obvious he would have no use at all for that monetary wealth and power he risked his life to get... What did he do with it? Unlike Jade, we don't see him over here donating to orphanages. (I'm not that heartless; I'm sure he does actually do a lot of good things with his money on the side, but the point is that the game does not show us that--it shows us, over and over again, Aventurine putting on a wasteful, over-indulgent persona toward wealth. We've supposed to feel how meaningless money is to him, how meaningless everything is becoming to him.)

He outright refuses to use underhanded tactics or to cheat at gambles, which is meant to show us that's he's more morally upright than his coworkers. There's an entire exchange where he says that he'll never stoop to using manipulation the way Opal does. But... he doesn't have any issue fulfilling Opal's exact agenda. He was never remotely morally conflicted about denying the Penaconians their freedom by dragging Penacony back under IPC control.

He's willing to risk his own life, which is one thing--but he's also willing to risk other people's well-being. Topaz accuses him of constantly egging their clients on into dangerous situations; we've actively seen him shove a gun into Ratio's hands and pull the trigger with no care for how Ratio would feel about that on their very first meeting... Dragging the Astral Express crew into the entire Penacony plan in the first place was exceedingly dangerous...

To me, I just think it's vital to understand his character through the lens of these contradictions because they demonstrate the extreme polarity of Aventurine's life: from rags to riches, from powerless to empowered by multiple aeons, from willing to kill to survive to killing himself... He has quite literally lived a life of "all or nothing," and while he is the victim of many terrible situations out of his control, his arc as a character involves facing the truth of himself and the future his own actions are hurtling him toward.

Frankly, the Aventurine that canon is suggesting is a little annoying. You want to grab him by the shoulders, shake him, and say "Why are you like this?!" And he won't even have an answer for you, because he doesn't even know why he's still alive.

In the end, to me, this is so, so much more interesting. I can read an endless supply of hurt-comfort fics where Aventurine escapes the evil IPC and Ratio is there to fill the void in his life with the power of love and catcakes and be a perfectly happy clam online, but I want canon to continue to serve us this incredible mess of a man who constantly takes one step forward and two steps back.

Who is fully aware of his role as a cog in the grotesque profit-wheel of cosmic capitalism and still manages to say he never changed from the rags-wearing desert rat of the Sigonian wastes.

Who over and over again flirts with nihility but, ultimately, even if he has to wrest it from the grip of the gods themselves with bloody, chain-bound hands, chooses life.

[imaybe5tupid]

On the hidden repressed suburban white emo boy darkness in Laios’ heart

LET ME BE CLEAR: i like Laios, this is not a hate post, his flaws and darker parts of who he is round out his character and make him the character I love. Also this isn’t proper meta or analysis just my literal sleepy off the cuff rambling

I think Laios can be very comfortably summed up as someone who feels he was never indulged and the person he is in the series grew over those scars. I really enjoy how much Laios genuinely has a lot of darkness in his heart his emo-boy ness is really underrated. He canonically thought of (and is implied to sometimes still think of) his bullies (and sometimes people in general) like this

Aside being autistic, well into his 20s Laios really inhabits this very imo teenage mindset/outlook thats a combination of outsider and contrarian (the latter secretly). And the Winged Lion sees this immediately for what it is, this idea of being an alienated outsider due to your unique understanding of the world (I don’t mean Laios thinks hes like a nobel prize winner but more that he has a lot of resentment for how the things he’s interested in are not valued in the way he values them) and the percieved dull conformism of others (eg. his father), and how these feelings of his come from a deliberate (as in i feel hes actively trying to make himself think this as a coping mechanism) lack of intellectual and emotional curiosity about people or things that he’s unable to box into this Different category i.e the grass is always greener (of course in addition to his Traumas). For example monsters obviously, but also his fascination with Toshiro’s foreignness, like the island was probably full of strong cool warrior types but they weren’t so distinctly “exotic” (unfortunate but true 😔, many such cases see Japanism and also ironically cause thats how i hc the toudens, the way scandinavia is weirdly idolised by a great deal of the world, or even the way people will see an indie movie set in like small town absolutely anywhere else in the world from where they are and be like waow so cool and different unlike my LAME hometown imagine that meme of the ships thats like their barbaric practices etc.) and an emblem of this cool different world that he could idealise and escape into.  Shuro represents a kind of escapist fantasy for Laios, like in addition to just being (to Laios) This Super Nice Guy Who Always Saves Me And Says Yes To Me And Never Gets Mad, he’s also Nothing Like Those Boors from the village/school/ the military. And he probably dgaf about Rin or like Eastern diaspora in Melini and would say offensive things to them running along the lines of what he said to Lycion (“so you only look different on the outside, nothing is different internally , how disappointing”). Like you can compare Kabru’s curiosity towards people which is driven by a genuine passion for humanity, to Laios’ at times objectifying curiosity toward Shuro which is shaped by the pain of the past and immediately see the sickness in the head Laios has lol. Unconsciously, Laios I think can also be a deeply self-centred guy at his core (evidenced by the nature of his curse at the end of the story too haha).

[world0fmadness]

I BURN FOR YOU

oscar piastri x black metal vocalist! reader

♡ general dating headcanons for oscar with a black metal vocalist partner!

୨୧ my first f1 headcanons in a little tiny while, i hope they’re okay lol, my birthday is coming up on the 21st and i feel like i’m having a midlife crisis right now so it might not be my best work </3

♡ related smau available here and related hc available here | view my formula 1 masterlist here

reading music recommendations: upon frigid winds by hulder - the oracle by mythic

♡ this relationship is literally sunshine x sunshine protector and you are NOT the sunshine…

୨୧ oscar is the sunshine, obviously! and you’re just the taller, more intimidating, partner who evil eyes anyone looking at your sunshine weird

♡ fans make a LOT of memes and jokes due to just how vastly different you guys are, in both style and personality…

୨୧ a lot of these jokes consist of people insisting he must be paying you to be a form of protection or something due to how uneasy some opposing drivers looks when they see you

♡ he doesn’t at all understand how your throat isn’t ripped to shreds and constantly in pain from the vocals you do! he has a serious amount of respect for you because of it, he thinks you’re SO fucking cool

୨୧ after a concert, he’ll always whisk you off to a local convenience store to buy some slushes for soothing your raw throat <3

♡ if your voice ever sounds majorly scratchy and just kind of weird after a show ( which it usually always does ) he really babies you…

“ love… listen to your voice! it sounds like it hurts to speak, christ… what will i do with you? ” ( you always jokingly roll your eyes as he frets, telling him he’s worse than your mother / father )

୨୧ oscar calls you “ magpie ” due to all of the shiny accessories you collect and wear over time!

♡ he absolutely loves coming with you to do metal magazine photoshoots! whenever he can, he accompanies you and the photographer to some woodland or a historic cemetery to take pictures

୨୧ for once, he doesn’t feel like the celebrity… the photographer never has an interest in taking his picture and he loves it! he just gets to admire you from the sidelines, speaking up to tell you a pose looks nice

♡ and speaking of metal magazines, oscar has ALL of the magazine issues you’ve ever featured in, he has some of the ones you’re covering on in little frames

୨୧ somehow he even has the first magazine you were EVER featured in… you don’t know how the hell he got that because it was years before you guys even knew each other existed, it was out of circulation and super hard to find being resold but he simply tells you he has his ways

♡ oscar is one of the few drivers on the grid i can see actually listening to and liking some black metal bands!

୨୧ he didn’t listen to them before you guys got together but since it’s pretty much all you listen to in the house and car, he found himself getting into it and bobbing his head to the music…

♡ you were SO happy when you noticed this, always nodding at him with a small smile as he gave a slightly shy smile back

“ i like this one, this is darkthrone, right? yeah… this one is good ” ( when he started really remembering and recognising bands, you knew he was the one )

୨୧ he thinks you look so good with corpse paint on!

♡ absolutely loves when you try out different designs for it and ask for his opinion, thinks the grumpy cat type one is so damn cute

୨୧ he’s not a huge fan of how your corpse paint is after a concert though, half melted down your face as you press a sloppy kiss on his lips, transferring most of the paint onto his face as he slightly grimaces at the stickiness

“ you were amazing, love! eugh… right, let’s get this washed off then, yeah? ” ( you usually smirk at him before grabbing his face and smushing it against yours, transferring even more paint as he yells )

♡ you did his corpse paint once, going with a pretty simple design for his first time! he kept smiling as you moved the brush, he was just so happy you were including him in something so special

୨୧ when it was done and he looked in the mirror, he was so awestruck… he swore on everything that is holy ( or unholy, really ) that it’s the coolest he’s ever looked and felt in his entire life <3 and you just think he looks really hot… his corpse paint doesn’t last long as you really can’t hold back the urge to make out with him which leads to his paint smudging all over your face

♡ y’know how someone in a relationship will often “ steal ” their partners clothes?

୨୧ yeah, oscar does this with you… he’s stolen SO many of your band t-shirts :( he just thinks the designs are so good and they smell like you which is a huge plus! you never get mad when he walks by you wearing one though, they suit him

♡ he can’t get enough of watching you get ready for a concert too!

୨୧ he’ll sit on the small couch in your dressing room, eyes shining with admiration and a small smile on his face as he gazes at you, watching you pull on your gauntlets and bullet belt

♡ speaking of gauntlets and bullet belts, he thinks black metal fashion in general is insanely fucking sweet

୨୧ you’re telling him you damn near dress up as a knight? with leather? a sword on your hip? and chain mail? literally the most awesome thing ever to him

“ more leather? you sure, love? it’s quite humid tonight! maybe go for your jeans instead… ” ( you know he’s right but leather is just so much more brutal than jeans )

♡ it fulfils an almost childlike wonder inside of him, you remind him of a fantasy character he would see in a video game and aspire to be like when he was a kid

୨୧ oscar does not like when he hears people stereotype metalheads as greasy, dirty goat fuckers because he knows more than anyone you and your friends are actually super hygienic when it comes to your hair, your hair is always so glossy and soft! he’s always been jealous of yours and your friends hair…

♡ of course you do stuff with pigs blood and stuff but you don’t slaughter the animal yourself! you just get it from a butcher, he hates when people try to paint you and your friends to be cruel and horrible

୨୧ some other drivers on the grid find you to be slightly intimidating… even when you’re not in your full stage outfit you’re usually still pretty dressed up in leather, combat boots, small gauntlets and at least one bullet belt… not to mention you very rarely have a smile on your face!

♡ though when oscar assures them you’re really a super nice person, they start to approach you more!

୨୧ i think lewis would be the most talkative with you, i can just see him having a massive amount of interest and respect for the metal scene <3 he likes asking about your lyric writing process and such, he finds your presence to be calming!

♡ oscar is a VERY good listener, he absolutely loves listening to you talk about the history of black metal and read new lyrics to him

୨୧ y’know books like lords of chaos, the swedish metal story and the death archives? yeah he takes them from your collection to read in his drivers room! his jaw gaping open and numbing “ jesus christ ” under his breath at some of the things written in said books

♡ but he seriously loves to come home to you and talk about what he read! asking you if you’ve ever met some of the people mentioned and what you think of them

୨୧ you showed him varg vikernes’ twitter one time and now it’s kind of routine for you guys to browse it and laugh at it every couple of days… seriously varg, take your meds and put the phone down

♡ when you guys first started dating, you got him to watch until the ligh takes us and oh my god did that documentary change this man’s life

୨୧ he was SO interested in it and wanted to have a in depth conversation about it with you when the credits rolled, he is a chatter box when he finds something interesting!

♡ he recommends the documentary to literally everyone he knows now, he thought it was just amazing <3 he kind of has a major man crush on fenriz now, woah! who said that? not me…

[teopatra]

Holaaaa

~ choose a meme for a channeled message // this is not a tarot reading .. happy Virgo season and happy Mercury RX 🥵 feel free to choose multiple groups-

Why do ppl love/hate u ??

Group 1 : si or yes

People do not know how to read you. The decision most people would immediately jump on you take the time to consider and really weigh your options. People hate that about you bc they think you’re too good but it’s lowkey a subtle flex bc it shows you have options. People feel like you get too many chances or things come to easy for you and almost like it’s not fair like you always win. If it’s a situation where you always win people feel like you don’t even try. For example at school it can be a random drawing and your name can get called in an assembly or in the morning announcements and people know you didn’t even try and they put so much energy into hoping they’d get it. 😂

Folks pay a lot attention to you bc you always seem so oblivious yet you’re so rational. You say the most intelligent things and overall you make people feel stupid because a lot of times people assume you’re slow or have dumb blonde energy when half the time you’re not even paying attention. But the other half of the time when you seem like you’re not paying attention you actually are you’re just very strategic. Life is like a game of chess for you and this can make others feel like you’re sneaky or have the intention to one up them by using information when it’s convenient for you. You give non chalant energy but not in a rude way in a calm at peace type of way. People leave you out because you make them realize they’re lowkey thirsty or pick Me’s since you don’t jump at every opportunity like they would, but you teach others about the vastness of life by being patient. Others see you as abundant and before you come into peoples lives even if you’re not close to them they see things as very black and white, this or that, left or right, but you being a multi faceted perspective energy to things. I’m getting mutable energy especially gemini, or heavy Jupiter energy or aspects to your Jupiter or 9th house.

People do love that you kind of don’t care about things BUT YOU DO😂 people really don’t understand you, but the crazy thing is with you it’s what you see is what you get but people swear that you’re hiding something or people may ask you what’s wrong a lot and you’re like nothing????? You don’t have the typical type of resting face it’s more of a stare into the distance because you’re trying to remember if you unplugged your flat iron or turned off the TV before you left the house. If you’re in school you may forget about assignments or homework and end up having to do them on the bus, in the bathroom or in other classes and people hate that they’re tying to fill you in on things but you seem so preoccupied like you don’t care but girl you’re just trying to passss.

EVERYONE wants your energy meanwhile they’re all gossiping about you lowkey bc you’re so interesting and they don’t have anything better to talk about in the sense. But not bc there isn’t anything to talk about it’s just you’re so mysterious. You’re a popular loner like people will try to leave you out just to tell you about it later and you’re like 😃 ohmygosh that’s so wonderful and they’re like BIH you should be jealous like… people really wanna make you the villain. The type of look you have is very girl or guy next door but effortlessly sexy. You actually do alot of self care and you’re intentional with getting dressed but you’re subtle. It’s just a I washed my face and brushed my hair type of thing. You could have a chiseled jawline or symmetrical face. I’m seeing Reggie’s fine self from riverdale. It reminds me of the main character from clueless also how she’s very girl next door almost typical looking but still very standardly pretty. Don’t get me wrong you’re gorgeous and you eat everybody up on your normal day to day. I feel like you actually plan to really make yourself look nice n the mornings before you go to work too but half the time you’re almost running late bc that sleep just be too good.. you focus mostly on your dental health and I see you putting drops n your hair like hair vitamins or oil so your hair must be long and light brown. OHHH you’re giving me Ariana vibes , “no tears left to cry” like people love that you’re unproblematic but that’s the problem lol who do you think you are to be so unbothered? Meanwhile you’re oblivious 😂

Signs: STRONG Scorpio, cancer, gemini, Pisces too actually all water

Side note: People love your hair and be wanting to play with it, when you flip your hair it’s smells like Garnier fructise or something like that like not the new style shampoos that smells perfumy the old type shampoos that smell fruity but still that tumblr era shampoo smell . Your hair puts people n a trance everyone stares at the back of your head when you’re not looking so keep protection crystals around or evil eye

Group 2 : eeyuh?

People love how talkative you are; you’re funny as hell like why you be saying crazy stuff. Even teachers love you or superiors look up to you even if you’re younger. Your supervisors or older colleagues could have crushes on you because you make them feel young like you. People love your light hearted youthfulness it makes them feel comfortable being themselves. This causes people to get clingy and obsess over you. People may send you random messages through the day like when they’re at the store shopping like Ohemgee this reminds me of you haha and it’s like a notebook or some random stuff they have at 5 below and you’re thinking uhmmmm ohhhkay should I be offended orrrrr…? Lol people make themselves uncomfortable with how much they love you because everyone kinda volunteered you as tribute to be THEE it girl or HIM, and you’re like Ohemgee I’m the main character but you just keep that to yourself. People feel like bc they praise you or put you on a high pedistal that you owe THEM something 😂 it gives you wouldn’t be here without me energy almost like you’re a local celebrity and if it wasn’t for your fans that you would be a nobody. You mind your own business and sometimes you can’t get time to yourself bc someone is ALLLLLWAYS calling your name and you’ve gotten caught a few times trying to avoid people n the halls, office, target or whatever and those people feel slapped by will smith n the moment bc how dare you. Next thing you know you’re shadow banned irl by everyone. You have this very magnetic control on folks to where everyone’s energy is the EXACT SAME towards you it’s almost scary sometimes cuz you’ll think dang did someone pass away? Cuz the energy is HEAVY; you’re left confused as if you didn’t get them memo then BOOM almost as if paparazzi announced the new issue of YOU is dropping and everyone needs the scoop and now you’re bombarded at once. Angry mob vibes almost. Heavy air sign energy I’m sensing Kanye, Doja, trump even tho you prob can’t stand either of those 3 ppl the example is to show how they can have such a strange cult like following and be hated but followed at the same time.

Back to the funny thing where you end up being like the class clown bc once people get your joke which it’s not like you’re trying to be funny but you’re very theatrical in how you talk and communicate and it cracks people up and those laughs just fuel you. People hate that you’re so funny they don’t want you to stop but then they realize so much time has gone by that they’ve spent laughing at you they’re now mad bc THEY got distracted 😂 people hate how you disappear or you like to eat alone people be literally wanting to watch you eat. People hate how obsessed they get over you because they start to feel like the feeling isn’t mutual but even as outgoing as you as you tend to be a bit reserved at times especially when you’re trying to focus. You have very good time management skills and you type fast lmao. People hate how fast you finish your work and how fast you run 😂 you’re a runner you’re a track star 😂 you be runnin from people huh lol people will literally chase you like this old school Disney channel movies where the fans chase the pop star.

People love love love you but they hate how lost in time you make them feel and everyone wants to be your best friend and people may try to make it seem like you’re mixy or you’re just social for attention.You actually made yourself be social to help with your shyness or anxiety; only your close family would realize this and you almost live a double life like Kim possible or Hannah Montana where your family would be so surprised to see how much of a starrrrrr you areeee. You may like to read books or do skits; I’m hearing theatre kid or you like to sing old pop or rock n roll. I heard “that’s just the way we roll” by the Jonas brothers 🥺 I love them they’re actually having a concert n my city this week 🫶🏽😭I’m getting more Pisces and gemini vibes like group 1, also Leo and Sagittarius

Group 3 : doj

People hatteeeee how fine you are 😂 you will catch people staring at you and you don’t know why? You also can be super tall or super strong and if you’re a workout girly people like staring at your muscles or buttocks lol . People hate to see you in the gym or gym class bc you can do so many reps OR it’s the fact that you’re not the typical type to look as strong as you actually are and there’s a saying/ word for this but I can’t remember what it is. You could be very slim or maybe more thicker or big boned and if you’re on the heavier side you’re super beautiful and people have never seen someone plus size be that beautiful. Sorry if that’s triggering but people are superficial. People hate that you look better than them even tho you’re big 😂 BIG SEXYYYYY . For my plus size girlies and gents you have a lot of confidence and everyone loves you and people hate that bc you make them feel small no pun intended but n the sense that they try to put you down maybe by making a fat joke or a skinny joke and it just makes them look lame bc you’re actually the total package you’re smart, creative, strong mentally emotionally and physically and all they can do is comment on your weight 😂 people actually wish you were their friend bc you sound so smart when you speak it makes people feel slow bc you’re very wise.

People love how you dress and they love your shoes and the bags you carry. If you get pedicures pay attention to when you get a fresh set bc I’m hearing it be looking good and people lowkey wanna copy they wait for you to get a new color. Or you have gorgeous looking feet it makes people stare it them in a weird way lmao and you may catch people staring at parts of your body even if it’s your face and they feel awkward and may try to make a 😒🥴 face because you looked at them back bc of how hard they was staring like 🙄. Your family or friends may be very well known and you’re very quiet which for some reason attract a lot of rude people to you like someone may try to cut you off in line and you call them out now they’re embarrassed. You could have to deal with confrontation a lot or have disciplinary hearings like someone was always telling on you trying to get you into trouble 😂you’re literally so quiet half the time but you also speak multiple languages so you could be part foreign and people assume you’re dumb bc you’re foreign smh.. you could be into spirituality or some associates from school or your neighborhood could have seen you in your traditional dress maybe you’re of Asian/Indian descent or you’re Muslim … if you’re into spirituality people actually watch your YT, tiktoks or listen to your tarot readings and may blame you for being right like😂 I was just trying to warn you. People really do not like you sometimes and you honestly don’t even do anything aww 🥺 PLEASEEEE don’t let this make you feel bad bc tbh your lil feelings would be hurt n the moment but after about 5 to 10 minutes you don’t even care 😂

Like you’ll go home and forget that even happened and if you are sensitive and it hurts your feelings people are threatened by you and sometimes that’s just life and both life and people can be sucky but you’re not here n this lifetime for people your here to share your research findings and your creativity/art. Especially if you’re a tarot reader, a yogi, a herbalist, spiritualist or any type of healer , you heal those who have negative energy around or towards you bc they cannot transmute the energy in their own. It’s not your job to transmute energy for others tho bc if you do that people will only become codependent off of you then turn on you. You have to build up strength and boundaries and if you have been doing so or done that already then good. People will try you sometimes and just don’t even let it get to you bc they are projecting onto you but people love your advice they just hate that it’s you giving it 😂 you really bother insecure folks

Big libra, Capricorn vibes .. also Taurus or Saturn dominants /aspected Saturn

[papil0nglegs]

What about the mercs with a fem SO that talks in brainrot sometimes? Would really want medic in there but it's up to you!

Mercs x Brainrot!Reader

A/n: WHY IS THE TF2 FANDOM SO OBSESSED WITH THIS IDEA? 😭 I SAW ANOTHER FIC ABT THIS AND TWO REQUESTS ASKING FOR THIS PLS

warnings: Brainrot.. a lot of images being used, it’s a shit post who cares tbh

Scout

He’s into it too

Guys it’s scout

“Scout ilysm ur so nonchalant <33”

“Thanks babe ^^ I know I’m pretty alpha”

(Oh btw the alpha thing isn’t a joke he unironically listens to alpha male podcasts)

In the middle of spy’s serious moments you’d both lip sync ‘you are my sunshine’ to each other when he’s not looking

“what the bloody hell are you guys doing..”

“…perhaps itz a coping mechanizm zince scout doesn’t have a father?”

Medic really had to take it there

The ‘fatherless child’ meme was a coping mechanism for him tho

“I’m a fatherless child, of course I have abandonment issues”

“Um babe? Idk if you should joke abt that 😚”

“Na it just makes me more sigma”

You guys love to fuck with the blu team sm with your shenanigans, esp sniper!!

Scout would have his bat and you would have whatever weapon you have with you and yell “skibidi” before jumping him

Here’s something he DEFINITELY didn’t learn from you 💯

creds to urwhouchoose2b on Tik tok

Engineer

He tries so hard to understand

Whenever you show him a meme he does the classic old person holding phone away from eyes thing

Yk the

“Ok so this is the ‘im nothing like y’all’ fish”

“alrighty, and this is..?”

“Oh that’s the Freddy five bear meme, see it’s funny cuz his name is actually ‘Freddy fazbear’ but they got his name wrong so like.. yeah”

“…I’m not sure what I’m ‘posed to say ‘bout this, but I think you belong in a looney bin”

Once he had a project that had the word “alpha” in it and he hated mentioning it to you cuz yk

“giggle”

“…what?”

“Skibidi alpha”

“What??”

Demo man

HE LOVES IT LMFAOO

he’s so energetic esp when he’s drunk so he’s happy to have someone he can share that energy with

Y’all know that “Scotland forever” meme

Well you screamed it after another victory as a joke, but when demo heard it he was confused but also excited?

“SCOTLAND FOREVAA”

“OH? ALRIGHT THEN, SCOTLAND FOREVER 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿”

cut to him butt chugging beers

Demo doesn’t get it but he has the spirit

He’ll be right there replicating the TikTok audios after taking the point

Dude is drunk 99% of the time so he’s never bothered to ask what any of this means, he’s just in it for the fun

Once you dragged him to the bathroom since he drake too many beers (shocker) but he didn’t want to do it in the toilet cuz he didn’t want to ‘hurt his dear skibidi’

“Cmon demo you have to puke it out!!”

“Noo, take me to the jawbox I don’t wanna hert me skibidi toilet”

“Oh god what have I done”

I think you rotted his brain a little too much

Spy

Don’t even get him started.

He’s so sick of your antics it’s not even funny

“Guys we all have to remember that it’s not about the money.. it’s about the skibidi.”

Passionately grabs spy’s shoulder

“How have you made it this far in life”

Unlike engie, he really doesn’t want to know about it

Especially during missions

“lol spy you’re so devious ASF”

“shhh, enough blabbering!!”

“You are not carti 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️❌‼️‼️‼️”

You make fun of him a bunch, he can’t think of a single moment where you took him seriously

“Y/n get off the cart!!”

“If we were in Fortnite I’d have higher ground + double pump.”

[dazailover4ever]

Real Love, Fictional Crush

Husband gojo x wife Reader

Summary: Your husband finds your obsession with a fictional character both amusing and endearing. As he navigates his confusion and playful teasing, he discovers that loving you means embracing all your quirks, even the ones he doesn’t fully understand.

Inspired by this promt: (husband satoru! who doesn’t understand your obsession over fictional characters but loves how you love them )

By author @mogra11

You're sprawled out on the couch, eyes glued to your phone as you scroll through fan art and memes of your favorite fictional character. It's become a bit of a ritual at this point—every night, you dive into the world of your latest obsession, and tonight is no different.

Satoru walks into the living room, fresh out of the shower, his white hair still damp and sticking to his forehead. He glances at you, then at your phone, and smirks. "Let me guess, you're looking at that anime guy again?"

You grin, not bothering to look up. "Maybe."

He plops down beside you, peering over your shoulder. "What's so great about him anyway? I mean, I get that he's, like, a superhero or whatever, but… he’s not real."

You sigh dramatically, locking your phone and setting it down on the coffee table. "It's not just that he's a superhero. It's how he handles everything with such grace and strength, even when things get tough. Plus, he's got a great personality. And those abs…"

Satoru raises an eyebrow, his signature playful smirk forming on his lips. "So, it's the abs, huh? I see where your priorities lie."

You nudge him with your elbow, laughing. "It's not just the abs! It's everything—his story, his struggles, the way he never gives up… It's inspiring!"

He leans back, crossing his arms. "Inspiring, huh? And here I thought I was your source of inspiration."

You roll your eyes, but there's no denying the warmth in your chest. "You are, Satoru. But it's different. You’re real, and you’re… you. This is just something fun to indulge in."

Satoru watches you for a moment, his playful demeanor softening. He reaches out, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. "You really love this stuff, don’t you?"

You nod, a small smile on your lips. "I do. It makes me happy."

He chuckles softly, shaking his head. "I don’t get it, but I love how much you love it. The way your eyes light up when you talk about it… it’s kind of adorable."

You feel your cheeks heat up at his words, and you playfully shove him. "Satoru, stop it."

He laughs, grabbing your hand and pulling you into his lap. "Can’t help it. I love seeing you all passionate about something, even if it’s some fictional guy with abs."

You wrap your arms around his neck, resting your forehead against his. "Well, for the record, you’re my favorite real guy with abs."

He grins, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. "Good to know I’ve still got some competition, even if it’s a fictional guy. But just so you know, I’m not above fighting for your attention."

You laugh, leaning into his embrace. "I think you’re doing just fine, Satoru. More than fine."

Satoru hums in contentment, holding you close. "Yeah, that’s what I thought."

—The End—

[waltzing-rats]

Sorry i just had a Hob thought

So like we all know the shit this man went through, right? He lost everyone and everything he cared about, was drowned, starved for like 80 years straight, along with other stuff that wasn’t mentioned in the plot.

And he is still going strong and I’m so proud of my boy but imagine. He is a teacher, i think that much we can agree on. I believe he either works with high schoolers or university students but that part isnt that important. My point is every day he sees the modern generation simply living- and by ‘simply living’ i mean being chaotic little shits who love tiktok dances and memes and that troll the shit out of him.

Can you imagine how happy he is seeing children, not necessarily happy every day but so lively? Every time they make a joke he doesn’t understand, he can’t even be mad because, hell, we was born in a time where a child living past their preteen years was a blessing.

I think we can often forget that Hob loves people. He loves living. He is so full of wonder and joy, even when he’s having the worst years of his super long life. I know there’s been some Hob controversies recently (which i can’t really comment on because, well, i don’t know much of the context or anything, just the jist of the thing) but, we can’t forget how amazing his character is. Like i love this guy so much.

Idk if this was at all coherent but i wanted to gush him. I just love characters who represent change and, above all, just a sheer love for life. I think we all need a little bit of that in our daily lives.

[doctorsiren]

I'm in love with the split Phoenix AU!! It's such an interesting concept and the shape theory is beautiful!!

When Phoenix get accused of murdering Shadi Smith in Turnabout Trump, which Phoenix is arrested? And how does Apollo react to first seeing them?

Kristoph would be the kind of guy to use (: and 🙃 in messages ( passive-aggressive )

In this AU, Nick and Feenie both keep up that fake relationship with Kristoph (to varying extents), but both hate the man (and he hates both of them)

And so here, he’s trying to get Nick sentenced so that Feenie loses the serious, critical-thinking side of Phoenix and so it’ll be much more difficult to get Kristoph taken down

So he makes sure that Apollo understands immediately that Phoenix is lying to him and that he shouldn’t trust him (knowing full well the irony)

So yeah, Nick is the one to get arrested, but I thought it would be funny to draw them as the Barbie / Ken mugshot meme on that last page, so there it is :)

Transcript under the cut ^^

Page 1-

Apollo: Oh I’m so nervous…Phoenix Wright is my idol

Nick: Hey kid.

Page 2-

Apollo: (Sheesh losing his job really changed him, didn’t it?)

Nick: Don’t worry, kid. I’m not as scary as I look.

Feenie: He’s right! He’s actually scarier!

Apollo: Oh, uh…hi. Who’re you?

Nick: *shakes head* (indicating to Feenie to not tell Apollo the truth yet)

Apollo: (thinking about how sus this interaction is)

Feenie: I’m Ryu! Phoenix’s twin brother!

Page 3-

Apollo: huh…Never knew you had a twin, Mr. Wright

Kristoph: That’s because he doesn’t

Kristoph: It’s okay, you two. Mr. Justice here is the lawyer today. You can trust him.

Nick: Hello Kristoph.

Feenie: TOFFEE!

Feenie: (he’s an ✨Actor✨…Despises Kristoph)

Apollo: Wait I’m so confused. If he’s not your brother, then who is he?

Page 4-

Nick and Feenie: We’re both Phoenix Wright.

Apollo: WHAT?! Like an alternate universe?! Like in Spider-Verse?! *Nerd noises*

Nick: Woah, slow down kid. Not at all. Phoenix split into two. Into me, Nick, and him, Feenie.

Apollo: (thinking about it)

Apollo: Wait, so which one of you is on trial?

Kristoph: Nicholas here is.

Nick: that’s not even my name.

Page 5-

Apollo: Look…you’re 1/2 of Mr. Wright. You would know…He wouldn’t kill anyone, right?

Feenie: well…

Apollo: WHAT DO YOU MEAN “WELL-“

[lou-struck]

The Smell of Denial

Eijirou Kirishima x reader

~ Kirishima's day takes an unexpected turn after his friends point out something that is obvious to everyone in the world except for two people.

W.C. 1.5k

a/n: a little bit of friends to lovers to end the night! This has been in my folder for far too long.

Eijirou Kirishima is plenty thankful for his job as a pro hero. But on days like today, where there are no distress calls, and his agency overbooked the number of heroes who need to go out on patrol, he feels extremely bored…

The wheels on his chair go round and round as he spins in little circles around his desk. For once, he is all caught up on paperwork. He looks over at Denki and Mina, but the two friends are deep in concentration. As much as he wants to, he probably shouldn't bug them right now. 

With a sigh, he stops spinning and flops against the padded back of his chair in defeat. Just as he does he hears the light little chime of his cell phone. He lunges for this new distraction eagerly, and his shark-like teeth flash with an involuntary smile when he sees that his new message is from you.

His best friend.

You must be bored as well because you are flooding his inbox with dozens of funny little videos and memes that have him laughing out loud. Sometimes, he thinks that you know his sense of humor better than he does. When he gets to the end of your thread, he starts furiously scrolling, trying to find funny videos that will have you laughing till you cry as well.

“y/n texting you again?” Mina calls over from her desk. The Pink Haired Pro Hero has a knowing look on her face as she spins around in her office chair. 

“It is.” He smiles, pressing send on a video of a guy who teaches his pet monkey with a pyrotechnic quirk how to light a firework. “Is it that obvious?”

“Totally.” She laughs crumpling up a bright pink sticky note and tossing it into the waste bin in the corner. “You are always smiling like an idiot when you are texting them.”

“Excuse me,” he scoffs, pretending to be offended by this completely true statement. “I happen to smile all the time.”

“Not like that, you don’t,” Denki laughs, “You’ve got it bad.”

The Crimson-haired pro hero furrows his brow, “ got what bad?” he does not understand why his two friends are looking at him like he just told them the Earth was flat.

“ Obviously, everybody knows that you are in love with them.” Mina grins, giving him a punch on the arm.

“Except for y/n, of course.” Denki chuckles. He sniffs the air and looks around, confused for a moment. “Hey, do you smell that?”

“Smell what?” Kirishima answers by sniffing the air, not picking up on anything unusual. He furrows his brow and tries to figure out how a strange smell in the office is more important than the notion that he has feelings for you.

“That, my friend, is the smell of denial. You reek of it. You better tell y/n how you feel before someone else decides to steal their heart.” He tries to lean back in his chair but ends up tipping over. 

As the electric pro hits the floor, Kiri is too preoccupied to help him up.

Is he in love with you?

~

Eijirou Kirishima definitely is NOT in love with his best friend.

He is just standing outside your door with an armload of your favorite snacks because you told him that you had a rough day at work because he is a good friend. 

He just happens to know all of your favorite snacks by heart because…

Because…

He’s Manly?

Right…

This extremely weak self-justification is exactly what he needs to bring himself to knock. Just seconds later, he hears a loud crash and a series of jumbled movements just beyond the door. Before he can react, you swing it open and greet him with a genuine yet kinda frazzled smile. Your skin has a wonderful natural glow to it that is enhanced by your bright eyes. 

“Hey,” you breathe, opening the door wider for him to come inside. 

“Hi,” he says, walking over the threshold like he has done thousands of times before. “What was that thud I heard back there?” 

“Oh, that was just me,” you grin, shutting the door behind him. “Nothing serious, I promise.”

There is that smile again, why does his heart feel so strange. Did he have too much coffee today? It feels like it’s about to burst out of his chest. Although you tried to hide it, he can tell that this silence is awkward, and he has to bring himself back to reality. “I got snacks,” he offers, holding up the grocery bag as a peace offering to end this awkwardness.

“You’re wonderful,” you say, taking one of the bags. “I ordered us some takeout, fried chicken, okay?”

“You had me at meat,” he laughs, striding into your kitchen and setting the bags down on the counter. “So what happened today?”

“My Manager was on one again today. I swear, Kiri, A villain could crash through our window, and he would find some way to blame me for the damage.” You say with a groan, grabbing the ice cream he got you and tossing it into your freezer. 

“Ouch. Do you want me to go down there? Show 'em who’s boss?” he says sarcastically, rolling up his sleeves and flexing his well-trained biceps. 

“Nah, just having you here is enough,” you say with a warm smile. Your eyes trained on Krishima’s face with a dreamy intensity that has him fighting a blush. You blink and take a flustered step backward. Your eyes flicker down to his phone and zero in on the thin red line where his battery percentage lies. 

“Dude…Charge your phone.” you tease, “ what if for some kind of world-ending emergency?”

He scuffs. “You know, I would’ve had a full battery. But someone kept sending me videos, and it completely drained my battery.”

“Oh, who would do such a thing?” You gasp sarcastically. “Come on, You can use my charger; it's in my room if you wanna plug it in.”

You turn and walk across the carpet, your bacon and egg-printed socks carrying you into your bedroom. As Kiri shuffles behind you at a polite distance, no

“What’s wrong?” you ask, taking in his furrowed brow. 

“Something’s different,” he mutters, looking around your space, trying to pinpoint what exactly has changed. 

“It’s my comforter,” you laugh, “I just got a new one.”

“Oh, looks nice,” he comments, setting his device on your bedside charger. 

“It’s amazing,” you gush, “I have never slept better in my life.” 

Have you always looked so adorable when you are excited about something?

“Oh really? I doubt it’s that comfy.” he challenges, raising a crimson brow. 

“I’m serious-” you are interrupted by a knocking sound coming from the front door. Your lips curl up into an eager smile. “Oh yay, food here. I’ll go grab it but you have to at least try my comforter for a second.

Eijirou holds his hands up in surrender, earning a big grin from you as you run down the hall to greet the delivery person. As he hits the surface of your bed, he expects to bounce slightly, but instead, he sinks into the pillowy foam. 

“Oh, this is soft,” he says aloud, readjusting his head against your pillow as he takes a deep breath in and relaxes deeper, feeling the stress of the day melt away. Closing his eyes, he smells something familiar. Its sweetness washes over him as if there is a weighted blanket covering him from head to toe.

He should move…

But he doesn't…

Held captive by the plush duvet under his ridiculously strong arms he stays breathing in that smell he just can’t seem to remember the name of. It dances teasingly just under his nose.

“Hey, are you really gonna fall asleep and leave me with all of this food?” You call from the doorway, freeing him from his trance. 

He jolts up immediately, an embarrassed tint on his cheeks as he looks over at you. “Shoot, sorry.” He says, walking out of your bedroom, trying to hide the flush on his cheeks with his loose hair.  “I guess that mattress pad or yours was a bit more comfortable than I thought.” 

“I told you it was comfy.” you laugh as he walks past you; he is shoulder to shoulder with you when that familiar smell breaks through his curtain of crimson hair.

His heart starts beating wildly in his chest as he realizes that the puzzling smell that has ensnared him is your shampoo. “The scent of denial,” he mutters to himself.

“What was that?” you ask, cocking your head to the side adorably. 

“N-nothing,” he says quickly, wondering how he is ever going to tell you how he feels.  “Just thinking about something someone said to me at work earlier.”

Tagging: @enchantedforest-network

[bearieio]

hi spencer lets talk about keegan! 🥰

ummmmm !!! i don’t really think i have much to say about keegan !!!!!!! hmm……. (＾＾＃)

except for the unfortunate fact that i think of him as being a total heartbreaker :(

I DONT KNOW WHY DONT ASK!-

another thing is when the two of you first started going out, and he tried to act like the nonchalant, quiet, and mysterious guy, but failed on like the third date because you mentioned your love for video games. 

now that the two of you are moved in together, he WILL torture you with that voice and those eyes of his.

he’ll sneak up on you and startle you with his deep-toned and booming voice, making sure to get his lips as close to your ear as he physically can. 

he’ll also just stare at you until you notice that he’s staring at you. genuinely scaring you, and giving no context as to why he was staring at you. AND LIKE IT’S INTENTIONAL SO-

toxic loser gamer bf. idk. probably plays overwatch and league/valorant and gets mad and screams into that poor mic of his..

“where’s our GODDAMN lucio?!- w-WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING REIN-“

definitely makes random dad noises…

speaking of dad noises, he has one of those la-z-y boy recliners that has a built in cup holder, back massager, and led lights or some shit

i think he gives off a sort of “older brothers best friend” typa vibe… which ALSO means that he’s definitely a bully and teases the absolute hell out of you.

one day he’ll go to town on some show you seem to enjoy. “isn’t this show for kids?”, “ babe why the fuck does the main character look like that?”, “you’ve seriously watched 3 seasons of this bullshit?-“

and then like the very next day he’ll be like “baby, why aren’t you watching that show you like so much?

MOTHERFUCKER YOU-

also correct me if i’m wrong but isn’t keegan’s love language acts of service? whether it’s big or small, he’ll always want to do something for you!

tying your shoes

opening doors/pulling out chairs

helping you out with the laundry

putting gas in your car

making you a cup of coffee/tea/anything in the morning

helping you out with dinner

taking the time to ask you how you are, if there’s anything you wanna talk about. 

how he loves watching your eyes light up and widen and how your lips will contort into that “stupid little smile of yours” (his words, not mine!), and how you get all excited and your muscles don’t look so tense anymore.

he’s mean but he cares :(

keegan is that person we all know whose literally an endless pit. eating anything and everything in sight (he’s just like me fr).

he will eat tomates whole

and more than likely brags about his “human vacuum” ability to everyone he meets. 

is most likely the person who asks if you’re gonna finish something on your plate you haven’t even touched yet.

speaking of eating everything in sight, when he’s the one making dinner, he’ll serve you 2-3x the amount you usually eat. but he just wants to make sure that you’re okay and eating! (eat your food, people!)

keegan’s just a really crazy silly wacky guy!

he sends you and the guys memes that only he understands.

and he MAKES the memes that only he understands.

the one time you guys can even look his memes without trying to decipher the four color theorem first, they usually look something like this: 

circling back to when i mentioned that he bullies and teases you every chance he gets- he teases you ALL the time, in private AND in public!!!

“babe- it was literally just like that time when you shot milk outta your nose and then you tripped and fell over-” he shouts, in front of the rest of the ghosts

“guys this one time my girl and i were walking somewhere downtown- and- and we saw a lizard scurrying along the ground- and she LITERALLY almost crapped herself-“ 

this guy will almost always automatically bust into a full song & dance routine whenever he hears taylor swift on the radio. 

does he necessarily like taylor? fuucckk no! but IS going to be bussin it down to ‘love song?" fuccckkkk yea!

‘party in the USA?’ you’re curled up on the bed, reading a book, when you’re suddenly transported into a stadium with 50,000 people screaming and the voice of miley cyrus is engulfing your ear canals. minus the fact that you’re not in a stadium, and 50,000 aren’t screaming and jumping around you. it’s keegan and his portable speaker blaring the obnoxiously loud music, while doing backflips n shit on your guys’ shared bed, messing up the sheets and prompting the dogs to come running in right after him.

he’s insane. i love him.

[exnoiafork]

Hello can you make sum valk x alt reader, the reader is also in a small underground band, AND has a one sided hate-love relationship with valk (like enemies by day lovers by night type) sorry if im asking too much ×_×

OH MEY GEOSOSHSHWIWBhhAAAAAAAAAAAagausshGJBAJAAAAA

Valk x ALT!Reader

INFO:

- reader is about 23-25 and they/them pronouns

-unlike valk, who does pop, you do metal with your band

- so um. You and Valk met at this music convention where you sell music stuffs . Basically albums, merch, etc

- you guys were kinda ignoring each other at first and then started talking. you both were in a band / make music and all, soo yeah

- it started out one sided at first… but you guys started becoming pookies as he calls it

- after a few months of talking, you and Valk started to become friendly rivals. like you guys tease each other about music a lot and joke about your songs sounding like “that guy’s new song” that the internet is meming about /ref

- oh yeah worth mentioning. assuming you’re above 5’2 , you tease him for his height. Sometimes you pick him up teasingly or…. Yeah yeah

- you 2 usually attend each others concerts with vip tickets.. what you think is funny is that you always have to reserve the flipside’s tickets even before it has access to the public. Cause like they’re crazy popular and they sell out in god knows how short, probably 30 minutes.

- you both are obviously rivals, so you two start “petty drama” as a joke too. Dom couldn’t care less, but it’s a bit of a pain up his gyatt dealing with you both at the same time.

- to Firebrand, you always use gen alpha slang in front of his face, teaching gen alpha slang to the GOD OF PHIRE. crazy and he does not understand any stuff you’re saying. though he kinda finds it funny and he’s just a chill grandpa soo.. you don’t die don’t worry

- half platonic half romantic relationship

“Valk! C’mereee..”

Valk hears you with those tiny ears of his (?), and he runs up to you like a he’s a puppy and you’re holding a bone or something similar.

“Y/N!!! Pook— ah no.. Y/N! nice ‘ta see you here!”

“C’mere, shortie..”

“Anyway, uh, how’s that new song doin’?

“Oh, it’s doing greattt! Don’t worry, you’ll get the tickets first, as usual..”

“Alright, see you there.. hon.”

*winky*

exnoianote I’m so sorry for taking like 4 days to finish I’m lazy + school 💔💔 I guess when you ask be ready to wait for 4 days