#i don’t think i’ll ever be the same

[sourpatchys]

Hey, I read that one pole vaulting fanfiction!

In other news I think I’m going to cry myself to sleep.

[mirandimoo]

sometimes i get overwhelmed by just how much one piece makes me FEEL. it makes me feel in such an overwhelming and astonishing way that i don’t think any other piece of media has made me feel. ​it honestly feels disingenuous to describe one piece as ‘just a show’ because it’s not just like “i’m a fan of this and it makes me really excited!” it’s more like somehow this entire world that’s been created and laid out in front of me, and this silly group of pirates that i have the privilege to follow along the journeys of, has changed my life at a very fundamental level. like the very way in which i view life has shifted dramatically ever since the strawhats have been introduced into my life… ever since luffy has entered my life.

my heart races when they’re on an adventure as if i’m right there alongside them. my eyes well with tears whenever something goes oh so right or oh so terribly wrong. i feel my hands physically shake and my eyes and heart and soul brighten and awaken in such a joyful and passionate way when hearing roger, luffy, or any other pirate talk about their dreams being full of adventure and freedom.

to be happy. to be passionate. to be free.

that’s they’re dream. and how lucky am i to feel such emotion upon hearing their dreams.

my dreams are filled by the great expansive seas. in my dreams i’m part of a pirate crew and our bond is closer than any other relationship, be it blood, romantic, or any other type, other people could only dream of sharing a bond like we do. we live every day, every moment, every second, knowing that it could be our last. none of us are afraid of death for ourselves but we fear it for each other, even if that may never be admitted out loud. we plunder and steal. fight and kill. we sing and we dance and we cry and we live. we live so brightly and so shortly but oh how wondrous a life it is.

in my dreams i stare out at the endless horizon line curving out in front of me. i feel the suns bright rays warm me as the salt water breeze cools me down. i help cook, i clean, i fight, i train. i practice my craft specialty in order to be able to better serve my crew. maybe in this dream i’m a musician. maybe i’m a swordsman. maybe i’ll become the king of the pirates. we never know the day or the month because we don’t need to. we just track the seasons by the length of the days and the temperature of the weather and that’s enough because that’s all we need to know. we spend our days together and alone. laughing and crying and singing and creating memories out of the grandiose or the mundane. at night we sit under the stars and lower the anchor to sleep through the night. maybe in this dream i’m on watch duty tonight. id stare out at the stars, blanket wrapped around my shoulders, thinking of how magnificent and absolutely beautiful this life is. i think of the friends i’ve made, the adventures i’ve had, and the freedom that makes my heart ache with what i could only describe as life. true and real life. this is how life is meant to be lived. short and fast and tragic and beautiful. creating bonds and memories and having adventures that perfectly encapsulate the essence of who i am as a person. surely there’s more to life. and surely i have found it here. in this life. with this crew.

and before i know it,

i wake up.

and my dream is over.

sometimes i wonder if Oda knows just how powerful and beautiful of a world he created. if he knows how impactful his characters are and how it has unlocked a part of my heart, my spirit, and my soul, that nothing else in this life has done for me. i haven’t felt anything in a long time. i can feel my passion for living slowly slipping through my fingers with every passing day. apathy spreads through my chest, my mind and my soul like a plague. and yet… out there exists a group of pirates, in this world that i could never be a part of, that acts as the antidote to my apathetic self sacrificially plagued soul.

i wonder if Oda knows this.

i wonder if Oda knows that he’s created a world that fills my dreams every night. that runs free through my veins like the worlds most intoxicating beverage. that has fully and entirely deconstructed my soul and then put it back together piece by piece, intertwining it’s value and passion of freedom into its foundations.

sometimes when i’m really sad, i like to imagine that in another life, this is where i was and where i belonged. to a crew of scheming brave and filthy pirates with a bond so close, who lived so fast and died young. out on the sea, meeting new people every week, having new adventures, exploring uncharted parts of the world, not knowing what lay ahead but being okay with that because it’s the life that i chose and the people that i chose to live that life by.

and that’s freedom.

and if i had to die fighting for that, then id die.

i think in another life my recklessness was seen as a strength and my fixations as a blessing in perseverance. my annoying and loud personality was seen as endearing and my short attention span seen as a useful battle strategy. i think in another life all my shortcomings, and things that hinder me were a strength to me out there. out on the sea.

so until that day comes i’ll keep putting one foot in front of the other. and living my life in a way that all my past selves and all my future selves would be proud of. i’ll live a life that i think luffy would be proud of.

i wonder if Oda knows how much of our souls have become irrevocably intertwined with the souls of the strawhats, their stories, and the world that he’s created.

i hope one day he knows just how much one piece has made me be able to feel again. to live again. to be free again.

[your-starless-eyes-remain]

i might have to have surgery again :/

[shadowdemon-gd]

I finished the game. I... I don't know what to say. I don't think I'll ever be the same ever again

[cherries-and-knives]

Another one of the Peeta moments that rot in my brain constantly is the scene in catching fire when Katniss and Finnick get stuck with the Jabberjays.

Peeta had his hands pressed against the force field, trying so so hard to be there for her and wanting so badly to protect her. And when it finally ended he held her, and rocked her, and let her hide her face in his arms, and protected her for as long as she needed him to and…..that’s just so ughhhh….so heartbreakingly sweet.

[tainebot01]

First give, then take.

[everytaylorswiftsongisaboutcats]

[fayannah]

the fucking ace attorney series is so annoying because like what do you mean i’m in love with a lawyer??? why do i love multiple of them???? why is this steampunk bitch no one cares about so attractive???? WHATS WITH THE FUCKING VAMPIRES AND WHY ARE BOTH THE OLD MAN AND THE YOUNG ONE FROM 100 YEARS AGO ATTRACTIVE???????

[eebie]

sometimes i just feel like straight up i’m not built for being a person. dont get me wrong im not saying this in a suicidal or self-loathing way Not even close. to me this kinda just feels like an objective observable truth about myself that anyone could reasonably draw as a conclusion if they poked around in my brain for a few minutes.. it;s a weird sensation that i can only compare to running your fingers over goosebumps but raised just far away enough that you only graze the hairs. i can still function and stuff but it seems like there will always be that disconnect between me and my surroundings. i think i’d do a much better job if i were a microbe or cloud or something

[cryptidnextdoor]

i just finished mizumono. i need someone to shoot me like a horse with a broken leg.

[cabeswaterdrowned]

Sorry (not) but I find anyone who acts like Blue is making something out of nothing when she’s mad Adam’s first question is about the kissing to be like. Deeply suspicious. Of course she is mad that’s the first thing he asked her! They’ve been walking on eggshells around each other and not really communicating since the last aborted kiss attempt which is on both of them to some degree, but when he comes around to her it’s only for this and when she has so many fears and insecurities about not properly belonging in the gang because she’s a girl (which is founded based on the fact aside from Noah they’ve all been misogynistic towards her at some point even if it was passive) and not being respected, when she’s also an outsider at home because of a different thing she can’t control. And you can not say that her feeling Adam is treating her like a thing to have and not a person he connects with is unfounded he again literally “I got Blue without you!” screamed at Gansey, consistently going to her after they fight (he did it end of TRB after repugnant too) to validate himself or just generally when he’s falling apart looking for validation from her like in the apartment scene. It’s not a bad thing to seek validation from your partner and in TRB before I’d say the last quarter I think Blue and Adam were genuinely connecting and developing a friendship while also exploring their feelings/attractions to each other, which did always have elements of seeking escape or validation for both of them in different ways, but it’s dissolved into that so much now. And I do think Blue is to some degree mad at Adam because he’s here and available to be mad at when she’s also mad at Gansey for it (I don’t think they’re *in the wrong * for not inviting her but they are in the wrong for not even considering she could want to go or at least want to be in the loop, also even though it’s Gansey’s party if Adam is trying to be her *boyfriend* it was kind of his place to ask her) so she’s conveying anger at Adam when the anger is for both of them, and also more general factors she’s frustrated by, but also Adam has the exact same response of channeling emotions that aren’t solely about Blue through their fights (and to his credit he is self aware that he does this) so again crucifying Blue for it is whack imo. Also to check myself on shipper-brain for the Adam-Gansey aspect of it, well obviously I read that here as a factor because I’m me, but for arguments sake on the premise Adam has No feelings about Gansey that are anything other than platonic Blue would still have a right to be mad about him prioritizing his platonic male friends over her and treating them with more respect, obviously, because misogyny exists (also these are not two contradictory readings in that I think they’re both factors. Signed an Adam Stan).

[myfairkatiecat]

MY SCHOOL IS DOING NEWSIES

[grilledcheeseandguavajelly]

Just wanted to drop in with this ol’ gem-

PS remember how she looked directly at us like that multiple times 🙈🙈🙈

And REMEMBER WHEN I DIED?!!?!

Honestly the front row seats were an amazing choice but my life hung in the balance for those three hours and I’m still not sure I’ve recovered. I don’t know that I will EVER recover—

[squuote]

i followed u for tsp WHEN did you get into jazzpunk 👀. -sincerely guy who is NormL about jazzpunk

I play it a few months ago actually!!! :-) fucking love the style of it, just haven’t dived into the fandom or anything a super ton cause tsp on the brain still lol. but I do wanna replay it soon cause there’s still so much I haven’t seen

[stingyslegslookweird]

oh my god you’re fucking with me

CRAIG MADE THE RADIOS FOR THE BACK TO THE FUTURE CAR

THE BACK TO THE FUTURE CAR HAS A CRAIG IN IT

ITS AN OLD MATE YOU CAN BRING THROUGH TIME

[sentientsoil]

can you be asexual because of trauma or does that just mean you’re not a real one bc it was caused by something specific?