#i don’t really want to go into why because it’s like a whole thing but just my brain being weird

[pshbites]

JAPANESE DENIM ━ nrk

pairing : riki x fem!reader genre : fluff, strangers to lovers, yearning, college au warnings : none other than the fact riki is a lovestruck loser synopsis : you find yourself missing the boy from the music store who you dont even know wc : 1.8k a/n : this actually has nothing to do with denim but it IS inspired off the lyric from daniel ceasers japanese denim - you dont even know me, its an interpretation SO i hope u guys like it !

if u enjoyed pls like & reblog, feedback is always appreciated!! also listen to the song linked to get the full experience :)))

“why are we even here man?” riki groaned, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets as he followed jungwon around. 

 if there was anything that tired riki out more than classes, it was probably shopping. with his amazing luck, jungwon dragged him out to get a gift for jays birthday that was approaching. after 2 hours of running around the whole city they were here, at a music store. they sold the usual, records, cds, vinyls, everything of the sort. 

“there’s this oasis record jay really wants, i’m sure it’ll be here” jungwon replied, sifting through the records on the shelf. he stood there, impatiently, hoping jungwon could mysteriously find it but instead jungwon moved to the next section making riki sigh. “just let me know when you’re done” he said, jungwon waving him off as riki navigated through the store. 

he found himself at the all too familiar hip-hop section. that was where he saw you. he didn’t think anyone was in the store when him and jungwon entered but here you were. he tore his gaze away from you and looked at the records in front of him, pretending to look through them. his efforts to distract himself were in vain because he found himself looking at you again. 

you were so pretty. possibly the prettiest girl riki had ever seen, he wasn’t really sure people like you existed. you had this slight pout on your lips, struggling to find whatever it was that you were looking for. he saw the rings on your fingers and smiled softly, you had good taste as well. he could tell that much by your outfit. you were laid back yet still girly, your bag was adorned with keychains of all sorts. he could recognize one being a frank ocean keychain. you had good music taste too. 

his gaze shifted to the records you were sorting through, most of them being kendrick lamar albums but you still couldn’t find the one you were looking for. this was his chance, he could make a move. “some of kendrick’s records could be in rnb.” he mustered up, causing you to finally look his way. he was cute. it was crazy how he looked exactly like your type. you felt your cheeks heating up a little while trying to maintain eye contact with him. “thanks” you replied, smiling softly. 

“dude come on, it’s not here” you heard someone yell out, presumably his friend. you watched the boy turn around and groan slightly. he turned back to you, “nice seeing you” he said, you nodding in return. you watched as him and his friend left, the realization hitting you immediately. you never got his name. 

…

“dani you don’t get it! what if that was my soulmate, what if i never meet him again!!” you groaned out loud in the study room the two of you were. danielle sighed, setting down her pen. “yn come on, don’t be dramatic i doubt he was your soulmate. you spoke like one word to him!” she replied, causing you to look at her. you sat down across from her, leaning over the table.

“yes but what if!” you whined out, making danielle roll her eyes. “yn you have better things to focus on, like our organic chemistry exam. professor jung doesn’t go easy” she sighed out making you frown. you reluctantly sat normally in your chair and pulled out your notebook and laptop. it fell silent amongst the both of you, as you worked on your study material. your mind couldn’t help but wander to the mysterious stranger. 

“do you think he works there?” “yn!! focus!” 

…

riki sighed, sitting down on the couch. all around him was music and flashing led lights. yet all his mind could drift to was you. that’s all his mind has been doing these past couple days. “and now give it up for the birthday boy!” jake yelled out, jay right next to him. riki shifted his gaze to them as he watched everyone cheer for jay. next to him, he felt the couch cushion dip. 

he turned to see sunoo, leaning back in the couch. “what’s up with you?” he said, making riki shake his head. “nothing” he crossed his arms, looking down at the ground. “it’s definitely something, you’re a bad liar” sunoo snickered, shaking his head as he propped his head by his hand, fully turned to riki now. riki looked up and groaned. “it’s just.. is it weird? to feel something for someone you don’t know?” he finally breathed out, looking full to sunoo. 

sunoo furrowed his brows, “not at all” he shrugged, riki nodding. “is this about the record store girl?” sunoo looked to him and riki stayed silent, making sunoo groan aloud. “okay pause you spoke like one full sentence” making riki groan as well. “okay yeah but it’s so weird like.. i don’t even know her yet im like yearning to know her?” 

sunoo sighed and hesitated before speaking up. “who knows, maybe youll see her again and this time actually get her name” he smiled, standing up and walking over to jake who was trying to smash jays face in the cake. he was right. maybe he would see you again. 

…

either sunoo was a psychic or riki finally believed in a little word called fate. because here you stood, looking at the guitar picks. maybe it was fate, that the day jays guitar strings fray and break, is the same day that you chose to come to the instrument store. nonetheless it didn’t matter because this time he was going to approach and talk to you. 

riki cleared his throat softly, looking at the shelf in front of him, something about how to clean your guitar? you looked over to see the same boy from before, clearly not interested in whatever he was looking at. “hi” you spoke, making him turn his head and seem.. surprised? “woah.. what a coincidence you know i didn’t even see you!” riki laughed nervously, scratching the back of neck. 

you smiled softly at his antics, “a coincidence indeed.. i’m yn” you stuck out your hand for him to shake and he smiled, “riki” he replied, shaking your hand, his hand was a bit clammy and he was hoping you couldn’t tell. but you could, and it was adorable. he let go of your hand and walked a little closer to you, now next to you. “do you play?” he asked, presumably asking about the guitar picks. 

“uh no, my friend just recently had a birthday and i didn’t get a chance to go to his party so i’m sort of just buying this as a ‘im sorry’ gift” you giggled a little, turning to face him. riki laughed along with you, then watched as you tried to meticulously pick out the best guitar pick on the shelf. riki hesitated before speaking, “is he uh.. more than a friend?��you turned to face him once more, now smiling. “nosy aren’t you?” you teased, making riki’s cheeks flush pink. 

“uh no- i just um- you know- was curious” he cleared his throat, trying to seem nonchalant which only made you like him even more. “no, i don’t have a boyfriend,” you finally said, making riki smile now. “oh.. cool that’s uh cool” he replied, mentally cheering. you looked back at the picks, choosing one to get for jay. you felt bad enough you missed his birthday party so it was just nicer to get him a gift. 

“so.. do you have any plans after this?” riki hummed, following you through the store as you walked to the register. “hm..” you hummed in thought, making riki even more nervous than he already was. “i guess i’m free,” you replied, smiling. you were already free when he asked you but you just wanted to make him a little nervous. “cool.. cool..” riki said as the two of you reached the register. you handed the worker the guitar pick and reached for your wallet in your bag. 

“riki where were you? i was looking for you!” jay called out, approaching the two of you. jay furrowed his brows as the worker handed you the bag and receipt and you turned around. “oh jay! i wasn’t expecting to see you here.” you said, now making riki even more confused. “how do you guys know each other?” jay pointed to you and riki and you two looked like deers caught in headlights. 

“he’s a friend!” you smiled, looking at him and riki nodding. “yep we are friends” he grinned back causing jay to make a face. “and this is for you, sort of an i’m sorry for missing the party” you handed jay the bag, smiling as he took a peek. “a pick? i lost my old one thanks yn!” he said, smiling back. you nodded in response, now looking to riki who looked to both of you in confusion. “so-“ “i forgot we have plans tonight for dinner, so we gotta get going yn” jay said, before you could even finish your sentence. riki furrowed his brows, about to refuse but jay pulled him by the arm. 

“oh.. uh bye! have fun!” you smiled softly, waving bye as jay and riki left the store, making you sigh. you still had no way to talk to riki. 

riki groaned as him and jay walked down the sidewalk. “i was gonna take her to get food or something man cmon!!” he groaned even more, making jay laugh. “why don’t you first get her number, then take her out on a date” he slung his arm around riki’s shoulder which only made him side eye him. “yeah! i can’t even do that because i didn’t ask her” “you forget i have her number” jay said. riki looked to him and smiled, clearly happier. 

…

you entered your apartment and sighed as you plopped on the couch. it was weird, you didn’t even know riki yet you found yourself thinking about him so often. his smile was so cute and you could tell he was a genuine good guy, something that was rare nowadays. you were also sure he went to your university because he seemed quite familiar. yet at the same time he seemed like a stranger, a stranger you wanted to know more about. ugh you should’ve gotten his number or something. 

you pulled out your phone and just when you did, it buzzed with an incoming message. 

unknown: hey? is this yn?  unknown: it’s me, riki :)  unknown: u know from like the music store unknown: and from the instrument shop unknown: riki also jays friend unknown: same jay you know 

you giggled softly at his multiple messages, quickly saving his contact. now suddenly things were looking up for your relationship with riki.  

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[atlabeth]

in over my head

masterlist

pairing: spencer reid x fem gideon!reader

summary: between all the arguments, you and spencer begin to understand each other a little bit more.

a/n: wauw.... out of nowhere i wrote 4k words and finished this chapter in one night... god bless spencer reid. i hope you all enjoy. r's cold heart is finally starting to defrost. title from the fray song

wc: 5k

warning(s): arguing, case discussions (stalking, murder, etc), talk of parental neglect, hurt w/o comfort then hurt/comfort. r lowkey freaking out this whole fic. the usual good time

You lean against the wall, trying to keep your breathing as quiet as possible. 

You don’t really want Spencer to know you were eavesdropping on him the whole time. You don’t really want him to see the look on your face because he defended you to your dad. 

He— he should expect it, shouldn’t he? He’s sitting out in the living room on the phone, and you’re you. It’s only natural you’d listen in on him. 

Spencer defended you to your dad— mouthed off to him in very un-Spencer-like fashion. 

Why? 

From what you’d gathered, he practically worshipped the guy. Even if he didn’t, your dad was still his superior. It didn’t really seem like any kind of good idea to talk back to him. 

But he did. 

For you. 

You thought Spencer merely tolerated you because he had to. You wouldn’t blame him, the way you treated him. So why would he do something like that for you?

You’re jarred out of your thoughts when you hear Spencer say your name. You blink back into yourself to see him standing in front of you, and you feel your face burn. 

So much for not being obvious. 

“I’m assuming you heard everything?” he asks.

You nod. You have the decency to not insult his intelligence, at least. 

“That means we can go over everything,” Spencer says, already starting to walk away. “Come on.”

You frown. You expected him to be mad at you for eavesdropping, or use what he did for you as leverage for something, or— or do anything but act normal. 

You shake yourself out of your thoughts once again as you follow him back to the living room. Spencer sits back down on the couch and you tentatively sit across from him. 

“I don’t want what I said to scare you,” he says. “Hernandez may be our lead right now, but I doubt it’ll stay that way. Elle and Morgan are going to check him out, and I’ll get another call once they do.”

You blink. Of course he’d expect you to be focused on that part—your stalker, the threat against your life, the whole reason you’re in here. Not Spencer sticking up for you. 

“Right,” you say. “Do you think it’s him?”

“Honestly? No.” Spencer sighs and shakes his head. “You heard what I said. He doesn’t fit the profile—he’s a man who made the worst choices of his life when he lost everything. If he’s been released, he might have actually changed. We’re only on him because he’s all we’ve got.”

“…Good,” you say. “Strangling wouldn’t be my top way to go.”

“You need to stop talking like that,” he says. 

“I need to stop doing a lot of things,” you respond. “Any idea how much longer we’ll be in here?”

Spencer shakes his head. “We’re here until this case is solved or our cover is blown.”

You huff. “Like if this guy finds us again?”

He nods. “But that shouldn’t happen. Elle, Gideon, Hotch, and Strauss are the only ones who know about this place, and they’re obviously sworn to silence.”

“Strauss?”

“Erin Strauss,” he says. “The BAU’s section chief.” 

“Ah.” You realize you’re still holding your mug, now empty, and you lean forward to set it on the table. “What happens if we’re made?” 

“You’ve got to stop thinking about the worst case scenarios,” Spencer says. “Pessimism doesn’t just make anxiety, depression, and paranoia worse—it can raise your blood pressure, increase your chance of cardiovascular problems, and mess with your immune system. It’s literally bad for your health.” 

“Well, what else am I supposed to do?” you ask. “I’ve got a stalker and we didn’t realize until he’d been watching me for a month. Your team has only got one lead and you don’t even think it’s the right one. That sounds pretty negative to me.” 

“We’re still at the beginning of this case,” Spencer says. “It usually takes a few bodies for us to figure out what’s really going on and find the unsub in our regular cases.” 

You stare at him, and he seems to realize what he’s actually said. 

“Of course, there won’t be any bodies in this case!” he rushes. “You— you’re going to be perfectly fine!” 

“You’re really not great at reassurance,” you say wryly as you pick up your cup and stand up, “are you?” 

“Homicides only occur in two percent of stalking cases!” Spencer continues, his voice rising as you go into the kitchen. “A- and you might not even be the primary target! If anything, he might be going after your dad!” 

By now you’ve finished filling your mug again. You stop at the edge of the hallway when he finishes, leveling a tired look at him. 

“Thanks, Spence. That really helps.” 

You walk back to your room, and once again, you only close the door halfway to humor his concerns. 

If you’d lingered a little longer, you would have been able to see his frown. 

“Spence?” he murmurs in confusion.

-

The rest of the day goes by smoother than you thought it would, largely because Spencer keeps his distance and you don’t fight it. 

You busy yourself with more cleaning—you never finished it after your last outburst—and when you finish that, you read. You find Pride and Prejudice in the box of books the BAU provided, and it’s a good distraction. You’d much rather worry about the problems of the Bennets rather than your own. 

You end up cooking first, and you offer Spencer some of your pasta when you finish. He initially looks shocked at the olive branch, but you figure you owe him something for all he’s put up with. 

You don’t tell him that, of course. You just tell him he has five seconds to make a decision before you finish the rest, and he snaps out of it pretty quickly. 

(“I promise I’m capable of cooking,” he says as he spoons a helping into his bowl. “I— I just don’t have much time for it. We’re always out on cases so we go to a lot of restaurants, and I get take-out at home because I get home at ungodly hours.” 

“Just shut up and eat your food,” you say. “I don’t need to hear your opening statement.” 

“Actually, I wouldn’t call this an opening statement. It’s more of—” 

“Oh my god.” You pick up your bowl and walk off. “Goodbye.”

“I think it’s more of a witness testimony!” he calls out.)

A similar thing happens with dinner, where you pull out the old reliable of chicken and rice. Dressed up a bit with some of the vegetables that are somehow already on the verge of going bad, but still the same thing you’ve eaten a million times throughout your life. You don’t really feel like cooking, but you also don’t feel like having to hear Spencer set the smoke alarm again, so you settle for this. 

(“You know,” Spencer says as he cuts into a chicken thigh, “I should really be trying everything first. Just in case there’s poison or something.” 

You stifle your incredulous laugh. “How would there be poison in anything? You all bought and brought this stuff in.” 

He shrugs. “I don’t know. But you can never be too careful.” 

“You’re ridiculous,” you say. “I— I think that is the most ridiculous thing you’ve said since I’ve met you.”

“I hope you’re not challenging me,” Spencer says. “Because I can beat it very easily.”) 

Between that, he calls out on occasion to make sure you’re still alive. You think it’s stupid, but it seems to ease his mind, so you play along.

He gets a call from your dad late at night, which he then goes on to relay to you—Agents Greenaway and Morgan paid a visit to Adam Hernandez, and they weren’t able to find anything suspicious. Penelope Garcia is going to comb through everything she can find on what he’s done since his release before they officially abandon the lead, but Hernandez is on parole and hasn’t violated it once—he seems to be clean. 

You don’t know whether you’re thankful for that or not. On one hand, you want this to be over. Getting lucky on the first suspect would be great. On the other hand, having a face to all of this scares you more than not knowing. You still have the chance to deny that all of this is real, really real—when they find their guy, you can’t do that anymore. There’s actually someone out there that wants to hurt you. 

The thought crossed your mind more often than not. 

Other than that, he doesn’t really bother you. Another thing where you don’t really know if you’re thankful or not. 

It’s close to midnight, and though you haven’t been able to sleep, you’re ready to accept this as another, thankfully non eventful day. 

But then there’s a huge flash of lightning, visible even through your closed blinds, followed closely by a deafening crack of thunder, and your whole body freezes up. Your hands stop on the page you were on, and a chill runs all the way through you despite the layers of covers you’re under. 

Rain has been pittering against the house for half the night, and you can deal with rain. You can’t deal with thunderstorms. 

You let out a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. The absolute last thing you need to do is work yourself into a panic attack and get Spencer involved. You don’t think you could take the embarrassment. 

You attempt to go back to your book. You’d just arrived at Mr. Collins’ unsuccessful marriage proposal, but you can hardly focus. It doesn’t help when lightning illuminates your room once again, a clap of thunder sounding even quicker after, and your lamp flickers for a moment. This is actually the last thing you need—for the power to go out. 

A knock on your door suddenly sounds, and you nearly jump out of your skin. You’re already on edge and the storm’s just barely started. You hear Spencer call your name and ask if you’re awake, and you clear your throat before you respond. 

“What do you want?” You try to keep your voice as level as possible, but it wavers ever so slightly. 

“Can I come in?” 

You don’t want him to see you like this. “Is there something wrong?” 

“It’s the storm,” he says, and he doesn’t wait for you to respond. “I’m coming in.”

You have all of two seconds to make sure you don’t look as pathetic as you feel before Spencer walks in.

He looks like he just got out of bed. He’s wearing a Caltech crewneck and sweatpants, and his glasses are about to fall off his face. His disheveled appearance is in stark contrast to his usual image, with dress pants and button-ups and sweater vests galore. One of his hands clenches around the doorframe, and he uses the other to haphazardly push his glasses up as he sets his eyes on you.

“You need to come back into the living room,” Spencer says. 

“And good evening to you too.” You try not to look at him. You’ve learned that’s the best policy when it comes to him and those stupid glasses. “Why?”

“Because there’s a storm going on, and the power’s already flickered,” he says. “I don’t want to lose track of you if it does go out.”

“If the power goes out, we’re in the open out there,” you say. “If you’re so worried about it, you should stay in here.”

You expect a fight, but he just sighs and sits down in the chair across from your bed. “Fine.”

You frown. “That was easy.”

“I don’t feel like fighting with you over every little thing,” he says simply. “You might enjoy it, but I don’t. So I’m trying to take the path of least resistance.”

“That’s no fun,” you say.

“Well, you’re not very fun to be around,” Spencer says. He glances at you for a split second before his gaze goes back to the wall. “So.”

“Well, neither are you!” You don’t mean for your retort to come out so defensively, and you cringe as he looks back at you. It’s impossible to be around profilers without them knowing your every intent. You’d hate to know all the thoughts he’s had about you. “I might turn everything into a fight, but you turn everything into a drag.” 

“You’re doing it again,” he says. You expect him to go on, but he leaves it that. You find your brows furrowing deeper. 

“And?” 

“Maybe if you recognize your patterns, you’ll stop,” he says. “Sometimes people don’t realize they're doing something until it’s pointed out to them.” 

You huff. “How many times do I have to tell you not to psychoanalyze me?” 

“I don’t choose to do it,” Spencer says. You don’t miss the slight bite behind his words, and it almost makes you smile. As much as he doesn’t want to give you a fight, he can’t really help himself. You tend to bring out the worst in people. “It just happens in my brain automatically.” 

“Try to hold back,” you say. “It—”

Your words die in your throat with another crash of thunder, almost simultaneous with the lightning. It shakes the whole house, and you can’t help the full body flinch that wracks you, almost freezing completely. The power flickers again, and then it goes out altogether. You don’t even hold back your groan of annoyance. 

“Of course,” you grit out. “Of fucking course.” 

“Are you okay?” You look at him despite yourself, and even in the dark you can see the concern in his eyes. It makes your hands clench into fists beneath the sheets.

“Fine,” you mutter. “It doesn’t matter.”

Spencer frowns. “Of course it does.”

You scoff. “No, it doesn’t.”

“Why would it not matter?” he asks incredulously. “You— you’re clearly distressed, and holding it back isn’t helping anyone.” 

“Maybe I just like silence.” 

“Well, you clearly don’t like storms.” 

“How’d you figure that one, genius?” you mutter. You wrap your arms around yourself and pull your knees up to your chest, trying to lessen the sudden chill you feel. 

“...Normally, I would give you a real answer,” Spencer says. “But based on the lecture you just gave me—” 

“You figured right,” you snap. It only takes a second—and those stupid, soft eyes of his to dart away again—for you to feel… bad. 

He sighs and shakes his head as he stands up. “I’m going to get a candle. Stay put.” 

You tense as he walks out. Your whole body does, actually. You don’t know what it is about him or those stupid eyes that always manage to skirt out sympathy from you. 

You should feel gratified. At the start of this, you wanted to push Spencer to his limits—he’s too nice for his own good, and you wanted him to not only give you a more concrete reason to hate him, but get a reason to hate you back. Then you wouldn’t have to deal with this one-sided rivalry with the apparent saint of the BAU. 

But you don’t. You feel bad, and you hate it. You hate it more than any reasonable person should, but then again—you’ve never been reasonable. 

Spencer comes back in sooner rather than later, two lit candles in his hands. You can see the on-sale sticker plastered on the side of both, and you suppress a laugh. It’s something so small but so typical. 

“One’s vanilla, and one is,” he squints as he shifts it in his hand to read, “beach escape. What does a beach escape even smell like?” He shakes his head, then looks at you. “Which one do you—” 

“I’m sorry,” you interrupt. You blurt it out before you can even stop yourself. 

This time, it’s Spencer’s turn to frown. His face is illuminated from beneath by the candlelight and it gives him an almost haunting beauty, highlighted with yellow and white along his jawline and cheekbones. The flames are mirrored in the lenses of his glasses. “For what?” 

“For snapping.” You almost snap at him again out of instinct, and you let out a long, loose sigh in an effort to try and chill out for once. “Sorry. Again.” 

“Oh.” He stands there for a moment holding the two candles, and it could be a laughable sight were you not near consumed with guilt. “Uh— it’s okay.” 

“No, it’s not.” 

“Fine,” he says, “it’s not. Which candle do you want?” 

“Which one do you want?” 

“This isn’t where you have to start the ‘being nice to me’ thing,” Spencer says. “They’re kind of starting to burn my hands.” 

“Beach escape,” you say. He nods and sets it on your bedside table, then sits back down in his chair after placing the vanilla one in the window sill. 

“You… seem a little pent up,” Spencer says after letting the silence dwell for a beat. His shoulders have relaxed some, not hunched up almost to his ears. Small victories, at least.

“I don’t talk about my emotions much,” you respond in equal fashion. “It’s not really my thing.” 

He shrugs. “Why not start now?” 

You laugh. “Why would I ever start now?” 

“You said it yourself,” he says. “I have a psychology degree. I’m a good listener.”

“You interrupt me all the time to say stuff.”

“You interrupt me all the time too, so I guess we’re even.” Spencer shifts in his chair. “Besides, I can listen when it’s important. And this is.”

You stare at him. He stares back. 

He has beautiful eyes even in the dark, and you hate that you can’t deny it. Deep brown like the oaks surrounding this place, that shine like pools of honey in the firelight, that always seem to soften just so when he looks at you.

You break first. You have to look away. You always have to look away. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” you manage. “I was a latchkey kid. Storms happened a lot when I was home alone and they scared me. I guess they still do. Happy?” 

“Believe it or not, your pain doesn’t make me happy,” Spencer says. 

“I didn’t think it did,” you say, trying your best to snap. 

He nods. “So we’re in agreement?” 

“I—” you pause, a slight frown creasing your brows. “I guess.” 

Spencer nods again, and he leans forward a bit. “Wasn’t that a lot better than fighting with me, getting upset, and isolating yourself?” 

You scowl. “Don’t you dare therapize me.” 

“It’s hard not to,” Spencer says. “Especially when you seem determined to make our conversations one-sided.” 

You scoff. “I do not.” 

“You act like talking to me is a physical pain.” He crosses his arms. “You locked yourself in the bathroom last night to avoid talking to me.” 

“I locked myself in the bathroom so I wouldn’t lose my mind in front of you,” you say. “Just because I know everything about you doesn’t mean I want you to know everything about me.” 

Spencer scoffs. “You don’t know everything about me.”

“My dad talks about you more than you think,” you say. “About your whole team—but especially you.”

“Where am I from?” he asks. 

“Vegas,” you say. “He mentions it every time you beat him at cards.”

“That— that doesn’t really matter,” he says. “I know you’re from Fairfax.” 

“The worst place in the world,” you say emphatically. You can’t believe you’ve been stuck in NoVa your whole life. “Doesn’t count, though. You’re an FBI agent—you’re supposed to know things like this.” 

“So it counts when you know it, but it doesn’t count when I do?” Spencer asks. 

You nod. “I’ve heard about Penelope Garcia. I’m more surprised you don’t know everything about me by now.” 

“Me too,” he says. “Garcia can find anything. Gideon really did a good j—” 

He stops in the middle of his sentence, his eyes widening slightly as he clamps his mouth shut. 

“What?” You lean forward, looking him in the eye. “He did a good job doing what?” 

“I don’t want to start another argument,” he says. 

“Oh, poor you.” You don’t think you could sound more sarcastic if you tried. “You don’t want to hear me talk about my absent father that didn’t have time for me because he was too busy with you.” You glance away. “You don’t know what it feels like.” 

“There’s something you don’t know about me then,” Spencer says. “Because I do.” 

“Unless your dad’s ignored you all his life in favor of his job and the stray genius he found there, you really don’t.” 

“My dad left when I was a kid because he couldn’t deal with my mom’s schizophrenia,” Spencer retorts. His words get you to look right back at him—they’re not overly sharp or exceedingly soft, just matter-of-fact. “I haven’t seen him since. So you’re right—I don’t know exactly what it’s like, but I know a hell of a lot more than you think.” 

Regret hits you immediately, sour and spiny as it settles in your chest. You’ve been an asshole to him this whole time, and all along he’s held this inside of him? All along, you’ve been accusing him of stealing your life from you when he’s lost more than you have. 

For a moment, you can only stare at him, at a loss for words. He meets your eyes in equal measure. You might know a lot about Spencer Reid, but you’re quickly realizing you don’t know Spencer Reid. 

“Guess we’re a lot more similar than you thought,” he says in your silence. 

“I’m so sorry, Spencer,” you murmur, finally managing to muster up words. “That’s awful. You didn’t deserve that.” 

“No one does,” he shrugs. This time, he’s the one to look away. “But it is what it is.” 

“How can you just say that?” you ask. You lean forward, a frown creasing your brows. “How are you not just— just angry all the time? That your dad doesn’t give a fuck about you or your mom?” 

“For a while, I was.” He chuckles, but there’s no heart in it. “I was angry at everyone. My dad, my mom, the adults around me— I hated myself most of all. It’s part of the reason I was so good in school. I didn’t want to think about it, I didn’t want to deal with it, so I studied as hard as I could, read as much as humanly possible.” He smiles thinly at nothing in particular. “Turns out I’m very good at avoiding things when I want to.” 

You shake your head with a scoff. “You’re a better person than I am. I would have hunted him down by now and given him a piece of my mind.” 

“It’s not worth it.” Spencer looks back at you. “He decided he didn’t want to be a part of my life. I’m not going to reward him by letting him ruin it when he’s not even here.” 

Is that what you’re doing? Letting your dad ruin your life by letting him occupy every part of it even when he’s not there? He’s influenced every part of your life, every part of you, and he hasn’t been here for half of it. Sometimes you’re surprised he didn’t miss your birth.

Another flash of lightning, another crack of thunder. You tense every muscle in your body to stop yourself from flinching as hard in front of Spencer. You think he notices anyway.  

“I’ve been angry at my dad since I was a kid,” you say once you’ve recovered. “He missed my dance recitals and my gymnastics meets and my soccer games, but he signed the checks for all of the payments. He told me to take honors and AP classes and missed the ceremonies for the awards. He was never there for anything that mattered, but—” you laugh again, and you blink back the tears— “but he waited until I was eighteen to get a divorce so I wouldn’t have to deal with a custody battle.” 

You bite down hard on your lip to force them back even harder as you look at Spencer. “Isn’t that fucked up? Neither of them have been there for us, but they’ve still shaped every part of us with their absence. We can’t escape it even when they’re not here, because them not being here is what caused it.” 

“I refuse to give him that much power,” Spencer says. “My dad left. He chose to leave. He doesn’t want anything to do with me, so I don’t want anything to do with him. I mean, I’m an FBI agent. I work with some of the best profilers in the world. I could find him if I wanted to, but I’m not going to waste my time chasing some pipe dream of a father that doesn’t exist.” 

“Your situation is different, though.” Both his eyes and tone soften, and something inside you stirs. “The only break I know Gideon’s taken was that six month medical leave that was practically forced on him. I think it would take an actual, life-threatening injury to get him to take another one. It’s a lot different having someone around and just… being neglected.”

“I’ve just always felt like such an asshole for it,” you mutter. “You all save lives every day. You’ve taken down a thousand sick criminals.” You shake your head with another mirthless laugh. “My dad saves women like me every day, gives them the chance to see their fathers again, and I’m mad at him because— because he won’t meet me for brunch? Because he missed my school band concerts?” 

“It’s not that simple,” Spencer says. “It’s never that simple. You don’t need to feel bad for hating him, but you also don’t need to feel bad for loving him, too.” 

You scoff. “There you go again with the psychology degree.” 

“It’s the truth,” he says. “Just because you feel rightfully angry doesn’t mean you don’t still love him. It’s part of the reason why you’re so conflicted about him.” He gave you a wry smile. “It makes everything a lot more complicated, doesn’t it?”

You shift in your bed. “Far cry from everything you told me before all this started.” 

“We see completely different sides of Gideon,” Spencer says. “I’m just… ashamed that it took me so long to believe you about all of it.” 

You huff a laugh. “I’m the one that should be ashamed. I thought you had this— this perfect life, with my dad loving you on top of it. That’s why I hated you so much.” 

He perks up. “Hated? As in, past tense? As in, you don’t hate me anymore?” 

You try to bite back your smile. You barely succeed. “Call it a truce.” 

Spencer grins and nudges his glasses back into place once again. “This might be my favorite truce since 1914.” 

“Christmas Truce,” you nod. “Good one.” 

“You know it?”

“Of course I do,” you say. “I’m a teacher.” 

Spencer blinks. “You— you are?” 

“Why is that such a surprise?” you ask. 

“You’re so…”

“Mean to you?” You chuckle. “Trust me, I’m not like this with my kids. My job is one of the parts of my life that I’m actually happy with.” 

“...Huh.” Spencer smiles at you, and you find yourself smiling back, subconsciously. “You should tell me about it sometime.”

“Sure,” you nod. “Maybe you can tell me about everything you do sometime.” 

“You’re sure you won’t get bored?” he asks. “You might not realize, but I have a tendency to rant.” 

You laugh. “Part of our truce.” 

This time, he nods. “Cool. That— that’s cool.” 

You roll your eyes as you look away, but your smile betrays you once again. Your gaze snaps over to the lamp as it flickers back on, and you realize you haven’t heard any thunder in a while. 

“Looks like the storm’s passed.” Spencer separates two of the window blinds with his fingers and peers through. You’ve never really focused on his hands like you do now—with the way you feel your face burn, it’s probably a good thing. You look away as soon as possible. “Just rain, now.” 

“Good,” you say, and you let out a yawn. “All our talking tired me out.” 

“Good,” he echoes as he picks his candle up from the window pane. “You should get eight hours of sleep a night, and I know for a fact you don’t.” 

You roll your eyes. “Whatever, professor.” 

“You’re the teacher here,” he says. “I should be saying that to you.” 

“And yet you’re so much more annoying than I could ever be,” you muse. 

“Does our truce include this?” 

“Naturally.”

Spencer chuckles and shakes his head. He starts walking to the doorway, but you speak up before he can leave. 

“Night, Spencer.” You pause as you bite the inside of your lip, then continue before you can stop yourself. “I really enjoyed talking with you.” 

He hesitates for a moment, his hand lingering on the doorframe. Then he bids you goodnight in the same fashion, actually saying your name. “I did too.”

It makes your heart skip a beat. 

Spencer closes the door behind him, and you find yourself staring at the wood long after he’s gone. You jolt when you finally come back into yourself, and you shake your head to get out of the haze. 

You glance at the clock on your bedside table, and blink when you realize it’s almost 1:30. You really do need to get to bed. 

The smoke makes you cough as you blow your candle out, and you wave a hand around to dispel it before you turn the lamp off. You lay down and pull the sheets up around you. You end up having to switch positions at least five times before you start to get comfortable. 

But the strangest thing is plaguing you despite your restlessness. You were freezing before the storm started, even when the electricity was working, but now there’s a strange warmth attempting to permeate within you. It almost helps you relax. 

The room feels a lot smaller without him in it. 

You exhale, long, slow, and deep as you close your eyes. The scent of vanilla lingers in the air.

You hope you don’t dream tonight. 

[justiceiscalling]

i feel like something that’s not talked about enough in YJ (show) is the amazing plot line of roy (will) being a fucking clone. like oh my god to 13 year old me that was such a fucking plot twist—guarantee if i watched it now it would still be a plot twist to me.

like, wills a clone, he’s handling it terribly (like one would) but he knows he has to find the real roy, he won’t ever stop looking until he finds the real roy. and the heartbreaking part? he’s the only one.

ollie and dinah and dick and basically everyone could not care less about real roy. dick literally said ‘we did the math, we never even met real roy’ and just decided roy wasn’t worth looking for. and, kind of understandably (but also not), ollie gave up. but you know what’s really the worst part? the real icing on the cake? will finds him.

he finds roy.

will has to tell roy that his family, his team, gave up on him. nightwing and artemis and kid flash and them—they’re excused. because why would people who don’t know him look for him? but ollie? dinah? he met them. roy built relationships and partnerships with them and the only person who looked for him was a fucking clone. and not because the clone loved him or missed him, because will had felt guilty for stealing roy’s life.

i’m so sad how that story line kinda fell flat. we could’ve gotten so much more. i wanted to see roy adapting to this, i wanted to see more of will searching for roy. im not even going to lie, i wanted one of them to struggle with addiction. i think roy and wills characters are just so fucking interesting.

imagine a fifth season where real roy meets red hood jason. imagine how well they’d fucking bond. because, i’m not 100% sure but didn’t roy not age? so he’s around jason’s age. and, anyway, you just know those two have so much in common. they both also missed out on so much with being dead and kidnapped. plus, it takes away from the thing most people hate about the jason and roy friendship. in YJ, roy was never friends with dick. dick was friends with will, made it abundantly clear when he stopped looking for roy.

and since YJ’s pretty open to LGBTQ aspects… well i think you know what im implying. i’d be happy either way. jason and roy make good best friends—i really do think they could also make good more than best friends.

so, in conclusion, the roy-will clone storyline was the best fucking thing i’ve ever seen, even if i do wish they expanded on it more. if there’s ever a season five, YJ creators i am begging you make that happen, it’s literally the most incredible opportunity and would be such an amazing friendship (or more than friendship) to develop to show ‘hey real roy’s life isn’t all that shitty!’. of course, as a side plot to the whole wally’s-been-stuck-in-the-speed-force-and-isn’t-actually-dead storyline.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Look, Don't Touch 1

Warnings: this fic includes noncon/rape, stalking, breaking and entering, possible blood and violence, and femcel energy. Tags are not exhaustive and more may be added as the series progresses.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You get bored of watching and that makes you careless. (dark!reader)

Characters: Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes

Note: Well, well, well, if it isn't another bad decision.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. Thanks to everyone who reads this one and thank you for all your energy.<3

Love you all like snakes love Woody’s boots. Take care. 💖

The spectrum of city lights gleam through the window casting a soft glow over the lofty condo. Spacious and pristine, everything in exactly its place, even the shadows seem to assemble in orderly fashion along the pale wall. A fine contrast to your chaotic existence on the peripheral.  

You sit, staring down the treacherous drop. A single pane between you and the end. Your phone dims as it rests against the thumb grip, wires still woven from the port into the palm sized box. You can find anything on the dark web if you go deep enough. 

The alarm was easy enough to override with the device, you still feel a sliver of adrenaline. How your heart beats thunderously as you watch the screen race through columns of numbers. You expect a blaring siren, instead the door clicks and a low beep grants your entry. 

It's nothing bad. Not really. You’re tired of watching, of waiting, for what? You're not sure. It’s not as if you want him to notice you, you do your best to make sure he doesn't. Maybe one day when you're ready. Whatever that means. 

You shut the lights off once you get the photos, each room from every angle. So you have a reference to make sure everything's where it belongs when you go. Unlike you. 

You don’t belong here. Or anywhere. So you have no issue crossing those lines, because no matter where you step, you’re out of place. 

If anyone knew, they might think you've done this before. You’ve dreamed of it. Maybe, a bit too often. 

It's the online boards that make you so thorough, checking things you never even considered. Of course, those neckbeards are looking to scare some skinny blonde they don't have a chance with. You don't want to scare Steve, you just want to know him, if even from a distance. 

You always just watch. Is that so bad? You don't get in his way, you don't try anything, you just follow. 

Well, it's about time you came inside. You don't get much of a view from the outside. The reflection of the other buildings tend to make the distance further. A whole year and you don't know why you’ve waited so long. It’s not like he’ll know. 

You stand up and unplug your phone, turning on the flashlight as you point it ahead if you. You stop to admire the pictures framed and hung of him and his comrades, both old and new, dead and alive. You continue down the hall, back to the bedroom and peer around. 

You spread out on the bed. You can smell him, his sweat and the soap he uses. You know from his receipts. From skulking around behind him at the grocery stores you can’t afford to shop at.  

You close your eyes and imagine he's there with you. Watching you too. The two of you, peaceful, comfortable, like you've never been with anyone in your life. An indolent complicity. 

It’s lies. You know that’s not how it goes. If he knew about you, he’d be just as repulsed as any other guy. And you’re not the type for the sappy shit. You don’t want love, you just want a thrill. 

You put the phone down, the light glowing on the other side of your eyelids as it shines on the ceiling. You feel along your dark jeans and slide your fingers under your fly. You sigh as you feel yourself getting wet.  

You flick your clit and moan. You say his name and do it again, a steady motion as you wish he was there, hand down your pants as he fucks you with his fingers, reading a book as if he isn't rock hard over it. It must be extraordinary to have someone else touching you. It’s getting boring, just you. 

You cum quickly, surprised as usually you need your toys. More reliable than any man, you scoff and free your hands from the denim. 

You sit up slowly and wipe your cum on his pillow. Maybe he'll smell it, will he know what it is? Would he like it? 

You get up and stretch. You take your phone and check the time. You should go. He'll be home soon, you know he met his pal for drinks at seven. Funny, you were under the impression beer didn't affect enhanced beings. 

You go back to the living room and pack up. You plug in the cipher once more and head for the door. You re-arm the alarm and carry on down the hall. 

You stop at the elevator and wait. It opens and you suppress your surprise. Well, you’re not that shocked as his timing is always precise. Not to mention, he lives here. Steve Rogers hesitates before he gets off the elevator, blanching as he sees you.  

“Sorry,” he smiles at you. 

It’s not a real smile. It’s just his surprise. It’s courtesy. Steve fucking Rogers is high and above you. 

“It’s fine,” you say snidely as you stare at him dully. 

He only thinks to get off when his companion, Bucky Barnes, does first. You wait for them to pass you, the second man meeting your eyes as he passes. You see a spark of curiosity in his eye but it quickly dies. You’re not that interesting, especially at first glance. You rely on that. 

You step onto the elevator, nearly caught in the doors as you do. You turn to watch them walk down the hallway. They have no idea, you're just another faceless New Yorker. 

📷

It's weird, you think. Anyone else would be jealous to see the scene. They would crumple at the burning envy in their gut but you feel something much more intense. You're fucking horny. 

Your perch on the roof of the building a block from Steve's is bitter and blustery. You have the scope set up, cell phone in the holder, to align the lens. The red dot flashes to show that it's recording. 

You adjust the angle and zoom in on the screen. The set-up is simple enough once it's set up, if the app isn't a bit tedious. You take another drink from your thermos and huddle beneath your hoodie. 

You wish you could hear it. The slapping of flesh, the groans in his constricted throat, even the woman's airy breaths as she grips the back of the couch, teeth bared as Steve ruts from behind. America's golden boy getting his kicks from some bimbo he met down at the bar. Again. 

You want to be in her place. Or even just a bit closer. If it was you, it’d be a lot less predictable. He’ll finish, slap her ass, and send her off.  

You yawn as he grabs onto her shoulders, pulling her back gruffly as he rams into her hard. The aggression is what surprises. Steve Rogers is all smiles and sweet words for the cameras he knows are there, but behind closed doors, he’s brutal. The woman’s face contorts as the pain wracks her body.  

She doesn’t stop, lets him use her. Just like you would. If you even had a chance in hell, you’d lick his cum off the shield. Fuck, if he wasn’t obsessed with those barbie dolls, he might actually try something new. 

You don't hate her, don't feel an ounce of anger. She's doing you a favour, putting on a show just for you. An image you’ll never forget, that you’ll cherish on lonely nights. 

You shiver as heat nestles in your core. Your hand falls to your jeans, lingering just beneath your heavy parka. It’s too cold to do that now. You retract your arm and sigh. When you get home you’ll have to rewatch it with your favourite toy. 

Before your mind wanders too far, there’s a metal click and the loud clang of the bar across the other side of the door. Shit. You quickly grab your phone and collapse the tripod. You take down the lens and shove it all into the duffel, twisting the lid of your thermos tight and tossing it in before scooping up the unzipped bag. 

Footsteps scuff across the concrete roof as you scurry behind one of the wide chimneys and lean against the cinder block. You hold your breath as a man calls out, “hello?” he paces around, “someone out here?” 

Fuck! You put your head back. You won’t be coming back here again. It took you weeks to find the place and get the right angle, a good distance to keep from alerting Steve but not too far either. 

A flashlight casts a yellow light back and forth but doesn’t come close to you as you stay still. The man grunts and grumbles as his soles pad away and the door slams heavily. You wonder what gave you away. You disarmed the alarm on the door before you came up and no one passed you on the stairs. 

Maybe just a regular sweep by the building. You shrug and check the bag before zipping it up. You wait ten more minutes before going to the door and picking the lock. You assure yourself as you descend, you got more than enough to tide you over at least a couple weeks. 

📷

The cafe is busy enough to compound your insignificance. You’re hard to notice on a good day. A hoodie, jeans, just another body in the overcrowded city. You sit with a bottle of water and cookie you won’t eat, pretending to read as others are more obvious in their observation. 

Steve Rogers sits by the window, as if he wants to be seen, chatting over a steaming mug with the stalwart Bucky Barnes. Their conversation seems to frustrate the latter as several patrons interrupt them, asking for a picture or autograph to accompany their lattes and creamy frappucinos. As Steve acquiesces, Bucky leans back and crosses his arms, scowling as he refuses to engage. 

You grin. You kind of get the dude. You hate people, hate the city and the pedants looking for their fifteen minutes or living the delusion that their New York adventure is destined for greatness. You glance back at the page but your eyes don’t focus on the words. 

It’s why you can’t be with Steve. Why you don’t want to be. You just want to watch. You don’t like being noticed. Hate the idea of being watched. You’re not a part of the show, you like being just another faceless figure in the audience. 

Your eyes flick back up. Steve is back to leaning over his cup, an Americano, how fitting. His large hand punctuates whatever point he’s making as you admire the vein in his neck, just above his collar. 

You’re startled as Bucky rests his chin in his hand and you meet his gaze. You don’t react and hide behind the book again. Maybe a bit too obvious. 

You pretend to read for a few minutes then reach for your phone, checking the time. You should leave first. You close the book without marking the page and take your water and cookie and put it in your bag, the patched messenger showing its years. 

It rests against your hip as you stroll out, ignoring the super soldiers until you’re outside. You peek back as you pass the window and Bucky squints at you. What the fuck is his problem? You tuck your head down and continue down the sidewalk. You’ll have to be careful about him. 

📷

You close your journal and tuck it under your mattress. The bed takes up much of your bachelor apartment. You don’t mind the lack of space, it’s just you. It’s preferable to your previous roommates who assured you cohabitation is little more than a form of torture. 

You climb off the twin mattress and stretch as you go to the corner which constitutes your kitchen; a microwave above a compact stove, a fridge that looks straight out of the 60s, and a foot long countertop under a single cupboard. Not much but you often forget to eat as your mind overshadows any physical needs. 

You tear open a package of ramen and add water, shoving it in the nuke as you turn to lean against the counter. Your tall dresser holds most of your possessions, clothes, the pictures, your equipment, and a few toys. Nothing special, just like you. 

The microwave beeps and you put the bowl on the counter. You grab your phone and return, eating at the kitchenette as you slouch to keep from dribbling. You scroll through your phone, several alerts for Steve Rogers in the news. 

‘Cap’s UN Mission: Can he restore America’s repute on the international stage?’ You browse the article and a smile slowly forms as you forget your food and stand, lifting the phone as you search for more.  

The media really is dangerous, you muse. There are exact dates for the conference and Cap’s appearances. That means his place will be empty. It means you’ll be living it up, at least for a few days. 

📷

It’s been more than a month since your first visit to Steve’s apartment. Nothing’s changed and you feel a little less restless there. You know he won’t be back anytime soon so there’s no rush to do much more than bask in the remnants of his presence. 

You can still smell him on the bed sheets and his dirty clothes are still in the hamper. You sort through them, feeling them, sniffing a few shirts. You push the basket back into the corner and search the drawers of his nightstand. Lube, some porn magazines, relics really, and some random odds and ends.  

You go out to the front room and lay on the couch, flicking on the television. The Smithsonian channel. Predictable. You leave it there and watch the hour-long program on clockmaking. Riveting. 

You don’t pay much attention as you stare at the ceiling and think about him. It was that couch where he fucked her. On her knees, clinging to the back as he let loose his strength, not a care for her. You haven’t seen her since. She must’ve expected something different; maybe to be doted on. Pathetic. 

Your hand wanders along the edge of the cushion. Your fingertips brush fabric in the crease of the cushions and you sit up as you pull out the lacy thong. You hold it up and stand, looking down as you hang them against your jeans as if you were wearing them. For him. 

You scoff and bunch them up, tossing them behind the couch. Yeah right. You’re not some leggy blonde, you’re just you. You’d look stupid in something like that. 

Men always looked past you, through you. It’s why you didn’t bother. High school was a farce; shoved into lockers or chased out of school dances. And college, just an extension of the crushing social norms and ridiculous expectations.  

You kissed one guy in your sophomore year but he was worse off than you. You never saw him again after he came in pants just from having your tongue on his. Why would you want some dweeb like that? You’d rather settle for being alone than some freak. 

You sigh as you cross your arms and flop back on the couch. You think too much. This is supposed to be fun, so why does it make you feel so… alone? 

Reality splinters as your heart lurches. Shit. You hear a key in the lock and the sharp turn of the mechanism. Shit! You stand and panic as the door opens, too stunned to react as you trip over the leg of the chair as you try to hide too late. You hit your knees and look up at the figure in the entryway. 

“What the fuck?” the deep voice cuts through you. “Who the fuck are you?” 

Bucky comes into the room and stops short. He tilts his head as you stand, putting your palms out defensively, “look, I was just leav–” 

He’s barreling towards you and you stumble back frantically. He grabs the front of your hoodie and takes you off your feet as he shakes you, like a rat in the gutter. You grasp his thick wrists as you gape at him, speechless. 

“I know you,” he says as recognition wrinkles in his forehead, “I knew you were up to something.” 

“You’re not supposed to be here,” you say. 

“Me? I’m watering the plants,” he spits, “what the fuck are you doing here?” 

“Please, I swear, I wasn’t going to do anything–” 

“Shut up!” he snaps and shoves you into the leather chair, looming over you as he clenches the front of your sweater. 

“Let me go and I’ll never come back,” you beg and round your eyes and make your voice higher, just like you’ve seen other women do. You always looked younger than your age. “Please–” 

He scoffs and shakes his head, “I said, shut up.” 

His tone keeps any further plea muted. He glares at you, nostrils flaring as his thoughts swirl in his deep blue irises. He unfurls his fingers and draws his hands away rigidly as he stands straight. 

“Don’t fucking move,” he warns as he combs his fingers through his hair. He watches you for a moment before he looks around and grumbles under his breath, “don’t have the fucking time for this.” 

[genderqueerdykes]

The anon mentioning not wanting to cut hair is so so so real for that and I’ve been inspired to say something of my own by that ask.

I hate how almost every transmasculine resource always has some kind of heavy emphasis on the joy of cutting your hair short for the first time, especially if it’s talked about like this universal trans man experience that every trans man has, because it immediately has me questioning if I’m even a guy at all or if the community would ever see or accept me as one. Like if I don’t do this rite of passage then I’ll only ever be perceived as a woman or as some level of nonbinary (which both would technically be correct, but only like 10% of the time, the other 80% I am a dude).

Like yes, a lot of transmascs do want to cut their hair short and this is totally fine, but personally I love my long hair. I love putting it in high twin tails with bows and clips and everything else and in fact one day I’d like to have bangs with this as well. I like having it down and unstyled because I have natural curls and length that make me look like a metal band frontman when I do it. It’s been one of the only traits I’ve liked about my physical appearance for ages and it’s so disappointing to see everywhere go “want to be a man? Great! Cut off all of your hair—“ as like their main or only resource for passing or whatever. I get that it’s the easiest and most accessible option for most people. I get that it’s common for men to have short hair in certain cultures. But I don’t like the imperativeness of it. And I don’t like the assumption that everyone can do that or wants to do that and would pass after doing that. Having my hair short is like genuinely a nightmare scenario for me and I don’t like even thinking about it. It literally pushed back my discovering that I was trans seeing “cut your hair” being plastered as the first piece of advice on every website because kid me saw that and went “oh, trans men want that? I don’t want that, well I guess I must just be a woman then, idk why I’m so sad about that though”.

And then this along with this recent tumblr “Time To Pick a Group and Hate on Them” wave (familiar either tumblr’s tendency for this, I was young and seeing reposts on Pinterest about the whole Ace and Aro exclusionist shit, signed a very tired aroace) with the whole “it’s so much easier for transmascs to pass” thing— like it doesn’t help me much that I like wearing dresses and skirts and I’m fairly chubby, really short, and have big boobs. I have literal fucking I cups. 32 I. I don’t know how to exercise properly since I’ve always had trouble doing it whether I just tire super fast or can’t catch my breath, I can’t bind because my boobs are far too large and I have breathing problems, I can’t go get top surgery now or for the foreseeable future cause I’m stuck living with my unsupportive parents, I already dress fairly masc usually with oversized shirts and everything, and I already have a deep voice— none of this helps me pass whatsoever. If I were to chop my hair off it would do absolutely nothing to my 32 fucking I cups that everyone sees regardless of what I do about them. All it would do is make me sad about not having my hair. No it is not easier for me to pass and I’m not suddenly conforming to gender roles and appearance stereotypes now just to do it. Tbh it just makes me want to not pass even more out of spite. (although being out in this current political climate might not be the best idea at the moment so I’m waiting hopefully only about 4 ish years— that is if I leave this house by then, ok anyway—).

Like oh but “all transmascs have to do is put a flannel on and cut their hair” like 1. If I did that I’d look like my grandma and 2. I have been told my whole life I would basically never pass no matter what I do, what are y’all going on about. Like why is everyone’s idea of passing as a man “tall, slim, rectangle shaped, short hair”. Like, I’m not POC, but at a certain point I can’t help but think that this description is often times really white leaning. Like what about cultures that don’t cut their hair, would they never pass as a man for it? Are they being trans wrong? What about people who are kinda predisposed to being short or fat? And why the hell is the idea of what a GNC trans man looks like always a tiny, white, slender twink with maybe at most big thighs? Are you suddenly not a man if you look any other way and wear a skirt? Idk, fuck it, I’m doing whatever I want.

One day, I want to have top surgery and I want to stand outside in the summer with my twin tails shirtless and I just want to enjoy being outside like that. Idk, I just wish it was more accepted to be anything GNC while still being trans and not being the “ideal” and I wish actual resources for trans issues acknowledged that you can still be GNC more often.

Tangentially related, but it’s really helped me out just getting into a game where a lot of the male characters are pretty GNC in dress and stuff. Like my favorite game series rn, Castlevania, has this character, Simon Belmont, and he’s got long hair, he’s built really hourglass shaped and has big hips, and he wears this tiny mini skirt tunic dress all the time and there’s no official canon design of him ever wearing pants and like, man, it just makes me so happy. Especially cause he used to be the main face of the series for a really long time— and also the character that overtook his mascot spot is also a GNC man with super long hair, Alucard. It’s really nice, he’s goals tbh. Good thing I’m anonymous rn because I feel like I’d get torn apart by the fandom for that take lol, but man does it really really help.

Anyway, this is just kinda a stream of consciousness about general experience being a very closeted GNC trans dude idk, sorry if it’s hard to read in any spots. I really hope you’re doing well, I highly appreciate everything you do here. Even the stuff outside of queer issues, I can relate a lot to the gastro and doctor issues too. You elucidate your topics very well and it’s nice to see someone talking about and standing up for people in the community like this. Take care!

i really wanted to thank you for sending this, i really appreciate it. i think this is such an important ask

Like, I’m not POC, but at a certain point I can’t help but think that this description is often times really white leaning. Like what about cultures that don’t cut their hair, would they never pass as a man for it? Are they being trans wrong? What about people who are kinda predisposed to being short or fat? And why the hell is the idea of what a GNC trans man looks like always a tiny, white, slender twink with maybe at most big thighs?

correct, the hair thing is deeply upsetting for a lot of men where their hair is quite literally important to them & their culture. making an indigenous trans man feel obligated to cut their hair in order to pass in white societies is so fucked up. making men feel obligated to cut their hair in general is fucked, but for some men, having long hair is part of their culture and gender. as you pointed out, some trans men are just naturally shorter or taller. none of these things should matter.

in general a trans man should be able to decide how long they want their hair. when i buzzed my hair short for the first time it was so euphoric. but i enjoy having short hair on most of my head because i have psoriasis. it's not because i want short hair. i actually love long hair, which is why i keep sort of a long mullet or tail of sorts because men are allowed to have long hair

thank you so much for sending this, and for the kind words, i really appreciate it! i hope things get safer so you can be out. there's nothing wrong with being a gnc trans guy, i'm one too, and people have gotta stop policing how men look so hard. it's not helping any man when we do this. we are making men neurotic and feel ashamed of themselves if they don't look like a caricature of a lumberjack. it's not right.

[asterafroditis]

𐔌 . ⋮ 3 idiots in love .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

☓┆Ace Trappola x Deuce Spade x gn! reader

𓏵 1032 words

ᝰ.ᐟ 3rd Person POV, they/them pronouns used (once), fluff, polyfidelity!

first time writing 3 ppl together, hope I did well (-ω-；) feel free to like, reblog, or comment!

ᝰ.ᐟ masterlist

You were the ADeuce duo’s partner-in-crime; whenever they acted recklessly and caused trouble, you were always at the scene—whether reluctantly or not. It was practically a law of nature at this point. If Ace and Deuce were up to something dumb, you were either stopping them, helping them, or, more often than not, getting dragged into the chaos.

Which was exactly why you were currently seated in the Heartslabyul lounge, staring at them with mild suspicion as they fidgeted across from you.

Ace had his usual cocky smirk, but there was a nervous edge to it, like he was overcompensating. Deuce, on the other hand, looked like he was preparing for an intense training session with Vargas, sitting stiffly with his hands clenched into fists on his lap.

“Alright,” you said, folding your arms. “What did you two do this time?”

Ace scoffed, placing a hand on his chest as if you had deeply offended him. “Wow. Wow. Do you really think we’d drag you here just because we caused trouble?”

“Yes,” you and Deuce said at the same time.

Ace rolled his eyes but didn’t argue. Instead, he cleared his throat and exchanged a quick glance with Deuce—one that, unfortunately, did not go unnoticed by you.

You squinted at them. “Okay, seriously. What’s going on?”

Deuce straightened his back even more (which you didn’t think was physically possible), sucking in a deep breath like he was about to say something important. But just as he opened his mouth—

“Wait, wait, I’m supposed to go first!” Ace cut in, shooting him a glare.

“What?! No, we agreed that I would start!” Deuce shot back, looking scandalized.

Ace groaned. “Bro, rock-paper-scissors isn’t a legal contract!”

“It is when we both agreed to follow the outcome!”

You blinked. “What...?”

Ace turned back to you, suddenly looking just as tense as Deuce. “Okay, listen. Forget that. What I was trying to say is—”

“—That we both like you,” Deuce interrupted, crossing his arms with a determined nod.

Ace gasped dramatically. “Dude! You just ruined my build-up!”

“Why were you building it up?! We agreed to confess together!”

“Yeah, but in order!”

You stared at them, mouth slightly open, trying to process the absolute nonsense happening in front of you. “...What.”

Ace huffed, leaning back against the couch. “Okay, okay, let me explain before you think we’re total weirdos—”

“Too late,” you mumbled.

“—We both like you,” Ace continued, ignoring you. “Like, a lot. But since we both do, we figured it would be dumb to make you choose between us, and we didn’t wanna get into some tragic ‘best friends turned love rivals’ situation.”

Deuce nodded, looking serious. “So we came up with a plan to confess at the same time. That way, you don’t feel pressured, and we can just… you know, figure it out together if you like us back.”

You blinked again. “That’s... actually really sweet.”

Ace grinned. “Of course it is! It was my idea.”

Deuce glared. “We came up with it together.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Ace waved him off before looking at you again, the teasing glint in his eyes softening. “But seriously. We like you. A lot. And if you’d rather just be friends, that’s totally cool. But if you do like us back, we’d be down to, y’know... try this whole thing together. The three of us.”

Deuce nodded, his face tinged pink. “You don’t have to answer right away, either! We just… wanted to be honest.”

You looked between them, your two idiot best friends who had somehow come up with the most convoluted yet oddly heartfelt confession plan ever. And despite their bickering, despite the messiness of it all—there was nothing but sincerity in their faces.

You exhaled a laugh, shaking your head. “You two are unbelievable.”

Ace smirked. “Yeah, but that’s why you like us, right?”

You rolled your eyes, but the warmth in your chest was impossible to ignore. "I mean… yeah," you admitted, crossing your arms. "You two are ridiculous, but I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t like you, too."

Ace’s smirk faltered for half a second before it returned, bigger and cockier than before. "Hah! Knew it. I told you, Deuce, they were totally into us."

Deuce’s face went completely red. "Wait—really? You’re not just messing with us?"

You raised a brow. "Why would I joke about this?"

"I don’t know, maybe because Ace does it all the time?"

Ace gasped, clutching his chest. "Wow. You wound me."

Deuce ignored him, turning his full attention back to you. His hands clenched at his sides, like he was still trying to process everything. "So… you actually like us. Like, both of us?"

You let out a laugh. "Yes, Deuce. I like both of you."

Deuce blinked, his face still burning, but there was something soft in his expression—something like relief. Ace, meanwhile, had leaned back, hands behind his head, but the tips of his ears were definitely pink.

"Okay, cool, cool. So, uh, what now?" Ace asked, clearly trying to play it cool but failing miserably.

You tilted your head, amused. "Shouldn’t you two have planned that part out, too?"

Deuce groaned. "I told you we should’ve thought ahead!"

"Yeah, well, I was too busy making sure we didn’t sound like total losers, which, by the way, you nearly ruined by blurting it out early," Ace shot back.

"You were taking too long!"

You laughed, cutting off their bickering before it escalated. "How about this? Let’s just… keep things the way they are for now. We don’t have to rush into anything. We can just figure it out together."

Ace and Deuce both paused, looking at you.

"...That’s actually a really good idea," Deuce admitted.

Ace smirked. "See? This is why we like you. You’re way smarter than us."

"Not a high bar to clear," you teased.

"Hey!"

Deuce chuckled, and for a moment, all three of you just sat there, basking in the ridiculousness of what had just happened. It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t some grand, romantic moment. But it was yours—messy, chaotic, and kind of dumb, just like the three of you.

And honestly? You wouldn’t have it any other way.

[a-bottle-of-tyelenol]

I see what you mean but I do actually disagree with this!

Polites is a character that we don’t know much about but we do see a very clear dynamic starting in Full Speed Ahead. A reoccurring scene in EPIC is Odysseus blatantly ignoring Eurylochus or dismissing him, which is what leads to the distrust between them and the opening of the windbag. This is something that still happens in FSA, except Odysseus does give Eurylochus some acknowledgement by saying that “if we don’t return, you can make this whole place burn”— showing that he heard Eurylochus and even agrees with him.

This was not a middle ground reached by or because of Polites, it was one reached by Odysseus.

(As with every post/reply I do, this got long so I put the rest under the cut.)

Polites and Eurylochus are meant to act as our first introductions to open arms and ruthlessness, with Polites actually voicing what open arms is and Eurylochus acting as the first human representation of it before Poseidon can come and properly introduce it. They are two sides of the spectrum and Odysseus is the middle ground; he is the king, the captain, and ultimately the one who makes the decisions. Polites does not change Eurylochus’ stance on anything, he only changes Odysseus’. In a situation where Polites made it to the opening of the windbag, Eurylochus and the crew likely would’ve just ignored him or hid it from him because I could very well see a world where they believe Polites is Odysseus’ favorite and the only one he will properly listen to— especially in a world where Odysseus has already seen Polites die and is keeping him close to try and prevent it.

“Everything’s changed since Polites” has next to nothing to do with Eurylochus, it’s only about Odysseus. Odysseus is the one that changed because he no longer has someone to be the other side to Eurylochus’ perspective and therefore has to embody it like Polites did, which is why Eurylochus ends up getting dismissed over and over again. It’s no longer Odysseus seeing the two perspectives and choosing which pieces he wants to use (like a game master or even a puppeteer), it’s him already having chosen which perspective he’s going with because he has to be the one to carry it forward.

In the time loop system that I proposed, there is another important thing to remember: Odysseus has already gone through these loops before. This is notable because Odysseus is coming in with preconceived notions of what he does and does not think will work. He has the experience of knowing how these situations played out, and that leads him personally having to pick and choose which actions he takes based on what has already happened to him instead of what Polites and Eurylochus offer as hypotheticals or general opinions.

This means that Polites’ existence doesn’t really change anything, nor does Eurylochus’, because Odysseus is no longer looking to them for guidance— he’s looking to himself and his personal experiences. He might listen to Polites if he has something new to offer, but that would likely end in Odysseus doing the same thing he did to Eurylochus— hearing him, but not really listening if it doesn’t fit with what he was already thinking.

This is mostly because the idea that I’m playing with is fate, and fate is unchangeable (there are obviously caveats to that, especially when you introduce the common conflict of free will versus fate, but still).

If the concept was “time loop au where Odysseus DOESN’T have memories of the previous loops but he somehow gets Polites to survive” then you would probably be right. Having Polities on that initial trip to balance out Eurylochus and offer Odysseus the choice between the two likely would’ve worked and could’ve gotten them home— though, it is hard to definitively say that because we don’t know how starvation would’ve affected him (an issue brought up in FSA that would’ve been exacerbated because they didn’t get food from the cyclops) or what his other philosophies in life would be. Many people read between the lines and say that Polites would’ve supported a lot of Odysseus’ monstrous acts because open arms means to try and be kind, not to naively trust everyone and never fight back when it’s an obvious enemy. Polites is a soldier that survived for ten years, after all, and he didn’t protest attacking the cyclops so it’s hard to say what his stance would’ve been further down the line when things got worse.

But, otherwise, Polites “being the glue” doesn’t really work when Odysseus already has a lot the answers and is merely trying to keep as many people alive as possible. In the end, Polites being there means nothing because fate dictates that it means nothing. Odysseus will still fall victim to his own hubris and Eurylochus will still fall victim to his own mistrust and Polites will still fall victim to the narrative and his own philosophies. All that changes is when it happens, how it happens, and how much it deviates from the original timeline.

time loop!au where odysseus is forced to continuously attempt to get home alive and he realizes that, no matter how hard he tries, he simply cannot save polites. it is weaved in the very fabric of his existence, his fate, and the only way that odysseus can ever get home is if polites does not come with him.

if it isn’t the cyclops, polites dies trying to protect his friends from the laestrygonians. if it isn’t the laestrygonians, he dies to poseidon’s hand as an example for odysseus’ disrespect. if it isn’t poseidon, he dies fighting circe because hermes is no longer there to help. if it isn’t circe, he dies fighting the souls of the underworld. if it isn’t the underworld, he dies falling for the siren’s song. if it isn’t the siren, he dies being struck by zeus’ lightning. if it isn’t lighting— oh, who am I kidding? it’s always the lightning.

polites will never make it— he can never make it. he falls victim to the narrative, the words of fate that dictate odysseus a hero in his own right. odysseus can only change if polites dies and he can only go home if he changes. with polites alive, he can never internalize what his morality means to him. with polites alive, he can never question his own judgment. with polites alive, odysseus remains fractured from the war and has no reason to fix it since, after all, you can still see yourself in a broken mirror.

it is no longer about choosing whose blood is on his hands, it’s about choosing which face he would rather see for the rest of his life. at least polites will only haunt his dreams.

[rayastasy]

Plot holes in the Elriel endgame narrative that make me believe in Gwynriel

3 books are left (2 full length and 1 novella) - 2 main characters left to resolve (Elaine and Azriel) and 4 side characters who have been highlighted with the main characters (Gwyn, Emerie, Mor, Lucian) - If couples are Lucian/Elaine , Gwyn/Azriel for the main books and then Mor/Emerie in the novella, that perfectly wraps up all the characters.

If Elaine and Azriel are together end of the next book then whomst the hell is the last book about? Lucian and Vassa? Why would some side characters randomly get their own full length book… and where does that leave Gwyn?

There have been obvious micro flirtations written in with Gwyn and Azriel (“you’re the new ribbon Az”) (The whole thing with the necklace??) Why on EARTH would SJM do that if Gwyn was not intended to be associated with Azriel specifically. Why would she make you question the obvious set up of Elriel if it was intended to be Elriel all along. (Maybe for a love triangle trope?)

OKAY so you think that SJM is doing 2 love triangles on both sides in ONE relationship? You think that it’s Elain choosing between Azriel and Lucian and also Azriel is choosing between Elaine and Gwyn? Thats just not how that works at all and I don’t think I need to explain that one further.

The main argument I hear from Elriels is how it’s stupid to even think it would be Gwyn because SJM has made it so obvious that there is something with Azriel and Elain which is CORRECT. But you know who else was obviously end game at the end of a book in a series? Feyre and Tamlin, Aelin and Chaol. It’s SJMs signature move so I don’t understand that argument at all. If anything I would ask if she was really going to pull that move again??

Elaine’s flowers - Feyre (Moon and Stars), Nesta (flames), Elaine (Flowers) …. Can’t you see Elaine and Lucian ending up at the spring court together after Lucian and Tamlin resolve things which is obviously going to happen. Elaine is spring, not shadows and night. We all know that.

After all that’s been said about Mates…I do not see SJM disregarding Lucian and Elaine’s mating bond. An argument can be made that this will be the other side of it where she follows true love instead of the bond but I just don’t buy it. We haven’t seen love with Elriel…only lust. I think more likely it will be a different story in that it is hard for Elaine to accept the bond but eventually she will and that is what her book with involve. I think Elaine’s book is next and will include her even hooking up with Azriel but ultimately she will end up with Lucian and then we will have Azriels book next as he sorts through all of his unrequited lusts and ends up finding love over lust.

I am not trying to argue or hear you say this is stupid in the comments. If you think it’s stupid I better see a logical counter argument on each bullet point. I’ve been reading so many Elriel theories and acknowledging that some have my Gwynriel heart shaking in my boots. But ultimately this is why I can’t fully accept it and I just want to hear the thoughts of Elriels that are capable of seeing multiple thought processes and critically thinking about it, am curious if any of these things give you pause in Elriel confidence or if you, like me, think it could go either way.

Thanks for reading my thesis

[slytherinsoso]

boyfriend duty | f.w.

anxiety!reader x fred weasley

gryffindor had just won a quidditch match and so, like always, it meant only one thing: a party.

your boyfriend, fred weasley, had played brilliantly and this had left him in high spirits. his good mood was perhaps why you felt immense guilt the moment that familiar anxious feeling began to take over your body.

you didn’t know what it was about parties that always triggered your stress and worry. you just knew that you always wished for them to be over the moment they started as you almost resented how easily all the others were able to have fun with not a care in the world.

fred, noticing your sudden quietness, slipped an arm across your shoulders. leaning close to ensure his words were only heard by you, he said, “you know, we don’t have to stay at this party, we can leave and just celebrate together.”

guilt swept over you. he had noticed you weren’t enjoying it, something you always tried to keep from him, so that he didn’t worry about you. you knew just how extroverted he was and how much fun he had making the whole party laugh. it wasn’t fair to drag him away.

“no, i want to say,” you insisted.

he studied you, tilting his head, looking for the truth in your words.

“you wouldn’t lie to just to make me happy, would you?”

you shook your head, making it convincing.

“because i really couldn’t be happy knowing that you’re not,” he frowned.

you looked around the room, trying to ease yourself into the moment and make yourself happy for his sake. some girls were laughing loudly, something which always bothered you when you were feeling nervous as if it made your ears become super sensitive. you flinched a little. fred squeezed your shoulder.

“hey, what’s up?” he asked, concern in his voice.

you continued to scan the room. some boys were lifting players up over their heads, chanting childishly. they spotted fred sitting down, looking serious and immediately headed for him.

“fred! fred! fred!” they began to chant in unison.

you faked a smile, not wanting to appear like fred’s always miserable-looking girlfriend.

to your surprise, fred stood up and scooped you up from the sofa you were sitting on, holding you in his two arms.

“fred, come here! we want to celebrate with you!” one of the players shouted out to him.

“sorry, mate, i’m on boyfriend duty right now, gotta go,” fred declared, before walking off towards the dorms with you still in his arms.

you couldn’t help but smile as he plonked you down onto your bed and sat beside you, leaving a respectful space between you both.

“they’re a bloody nightmare,” he laughed.

“don’t lie, you secretly love it.”

he shot you a cheeky look as if confirming you were right about him.

“but i don’t care about that right now,” he told you, “right now, all i want to do is make you feel better.”

you sighed. you hadn’t wanted to make him so concerned that he left his own teams celebration party. it was something you always told yourself when you first started dating: you never wanted to let your anxiety a burden to fred.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to be a pain,” you apologise.

he grabbed your hand and squeezed it. “don’t say that.”

“but i am a pain, i bet you think im just so moody all the time.”

fred looked a little hurt. “is that really what you think i think about you?”

you shrugged.

“then you’re a bit dim-witted, love,” he teased, “how on earth could you actually believe that?”

fred pulled you up with him as he wrapped his arms around you tightly in a big hug. feeling the warmth of him calmed your mind. you now felt completely safe.

“nothings going to happen to you, as long as i’m around,” he whispered gently in your ear, the words making your heart melt.

you trusted him fully. so, when he started to walk you hand-in-hand back towards the party, no part of you apprehended. in fact, the music started to sound happier, the laughter began to feel contagious and the jokes were now funny to you.

after you’d been enjoying yourself for some hours, you looked over at fred’s happy face and couldn’t help but feel immense appreciation for him. you leaned over and planted a grateful kiss on his cheek. “thank you, for everything.”

he looked confused and at that moment you realised that he’d never truly know just how much he helped you.

“it was all you,” he smiled, “you don’t need me, don’t need anyone.”

the words spun around your head, giving you something to think about. he gave you all the credit, even though it was his words that had soothed you, that had eliminated your nerves.

he leant over and reciprocated your kiss, interrupting your thoughts. “you’re a lot stronger than you think, love.”

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday wonderful fandom :) We have hit episode 4, I once again am SO happy this is back. Makes my Wednesdays so much better. I missed this show so much. Now I was legit resigned to have no real moment in this one. I really was. Not only that but I was ok with that too. The SL was really really good. I was enjoying Wes/Wopez getting some of the spotlight. I adore this show as a whole.

So I was down to enjoy this ep just for the SL they had lined up. I am thrilled we got a moment. Scaling the walls excited. I do my best to keep these first impressions as brief as possible. Since I do deep dives in the summer. When I really flesh my thoughts with the entire season in hand. But when we get good moments it's harder to be brief ha So bear with me if I'm a little longer than I have been. Let us begin shall we?

7x04 Darkness Falling

We start the day off with some good ole ass kissing from Ridley. The more this kid opens his mouth the more I dislike him tbh. So I'm with Tim groaning at his platitude. 'Oh god.' I'm cackling. I love this man so much you guys. Lucy is all smiles though of course. She wants to see the best in him because well it's Lucy. We all love this woman for her compassion. But their reactions are just so on point. Their Grumpy x Sunshine dynamic doing it's thing. Always makes me happy to witness.

I do love that Lucy follows it up with saying no one likes a suck up lmao My girl. I mean no one does.....They drive me absolutely insane. But this is her accepting what he has to say but also letting him know she isn't won over either. He has work to do. They both do really. Friggin miracle they're both still standing there.

We get to a gnarly crash and the rookies are put to work by Celina. Who is primary. You go girl. So excited for her this season. We can sense her stress as she attempts to contain and maintain the scene. She has Ridley take pics of the cars, which he messes up. Not getting every inch like she asked.

Telling him firmly but still kindly that she can't hold his hand. Texas giving him a hard time seeing this. Seth gets a little uppity with him. It's here we witness conflicting stories …..No matter the reasoning a cop who lies habitually is ick central for me. Makes me start to question his integrity. Gonna take a lot to come back from this IMO. Lucy looks very disappointed. I would be too. Also a little on edge wondering why he's lying?

First thing noticed when Penn was searching the car was the gun in the glove box....I knew when he said it was all clear it was going to bite him in the ass. It does immediately and royally so. We see bit by bit that confidence that he came in with slowly eroding. Tim is breaking this kid down in order to build him back up. He's gotta quit it with the Texas stuff. It only angers Tim even more. He doesn't want excuses he wants progress.

I know it may seem like Tim being extra hard on Texas. But D (makeitastrength) brought up a great point from 3x11 either last ep or before in the comments. On how Tim trains based on his trainee. And this boy needs to be knocked down a thousand pegs and then some. We see with each episode him changing I will say. Becoming more remorseful. Less cocky with Tim. The way he reacts to his punishment is proof of that.

Tim is right to do this to him. He’s not in Texas anymore. That is not a valid excuse for everything. Or ever honestly. I had a guy on my team who did the same thing. Would excuse his screw ups and say 'But in Tennessee we did this.' etc. One day we were on a ride a long. He did it again as an excuse. I told him you’re no longer in TN. You’re in CO now. Those rules don’t apply here. And it finally clicked and he stopped doing it.

Tim has to beat it into his brain he’s not in a small town anymore. Far from it….and he most definitely isn’t in Texas anymore either. Once he lets that go he will get better. Tim pegged him from day one about him needing to be deprogrammed first. That’s going to take the longest with him.

SOOOOO Seth is officially a liar..... I hate it so very much. Not only did he lie but he did it in front of Lucy earlier. Someone mentioned the possibility of him being a liar. It was in an ask D got I remember and I never thought of it. So Kudos to that person for spotting that early. I didn't clock that. Like at all. Cause I too am like Lucy in my empathy and believed him. Guess I shouldn’t have….Hiding more than I would like.

My gut is saying I would like him to wash out. Is that mean? Sure but also he's not giving anything positive right now. We haven’t see one since s3 with the Badger and Katie. But he’s Lucy’s rookie, so that’s the only reason I don’t actually want that to come to pass.. Idk how he’s gonna come back from this compulsive lying. I’m not a fan. Gonna take some really good development to make me forgive this.

I LOVE this final moment with Texas. Tim does a masterful job of not breaking. I commend Miles for saying he appreciates all Tim is doing for him. He can see that it isn't just to be harsh with him. There is a method to his madness. To quote Lucy from 1x04 'He's calculating not cruel.' He’s teaching this kid right.

Not only that he recognizes why Tim is so hard on him. Also he's being brought back down to earth. Especially about not knowing it all. Realizing how many holes he really has in his knowledge. Having an epiphany in this scene. It's amazing progress to see. You're growing on me Texas. On Tim too. You can see it in his eyes through out his speech. Excited to see how he continues to be molded.

There is so much to unpack in this scene. It's insane. First of all. Tim’s house! I've missed it. God it’s gorgeous. Holy hell. So glad Eric pressed to have it return. It's as beautiful and understated as he is. Also feral Caitlin must make appearance. Cause he is in street clothes after all. gimme gimme. AND In my favorite color no less. Only he could make such a plain shirt so god damn attractive. The way it tightens around his chest. Hot damn. I'm a puddle. Mmm wanna climb him like a tree. *fans self*

If that isn't enough to make me lose my mind we have Kojo! Return of our fav pupper. Their handsome fur baby making an appearance. Barking before Lucy even knocks on the door. Just knows his mama is near. Alerting Tim to get up and greet their visitor. Look at how excited our boy is when he opens the door and she's there. No one makes this man light up faster than Lucy Chen.

We see the disappointment on his face when he realizes it's work related. Hence the sassy reply about her question. Lucy, just letting her damn self in regardless of what Tim is saying though. They are in fine form here everyone. I’m so happy right now. Lucy airing her concerns about Seth to Tim. Saying how she can't shake the feeling something is off. I feel that way too...Giving me the ick hard.

Tim does his best to put her mind at ease about Seth. Saying how comprehensive they are. They're invasive and he has to pass a polygraph as well. Tim slyly mentioning how they both know how illuminating those can be. Heh Tim’s liar detector joke. Love the little shots he takes and it earns a smile out of her. Little flirt. Well done babe.

I adore that her instinct is still to rely on Tim. When she’s worried or unsure. That is her go to. He is still her person in that regard. That inexplicable pull she can’t quite deny or ignore. Was hoping this whole Seth thing would lead her to Tim for advice. Just wasn't expecting it to be in his house. I'm tickled pink about it though haha

Feeling a surge of frustration and doubt, Lucy apologizes and starts to walk away. Like it's just hitting her what she's done. Showing up unannounced at his house, forcing her way in, asking his advice and flirting with him in the process. Her adrenaline wearing off and she is feeling vulnerable. She can feel that familiar draw of their banter. As she stated in 5x12. They're so good at arguing. Her immediate reaction is to retreat for a multitude of reasons. Kojo gets up and says hold on there mom not just yet.....

I love him getting up right away not letting her go without some snuggles. That a boy. You be our little Chenford cheerleader. Doing his best to keep her there. He resets the mood with this move. Lucy loving on Kojo makes my heart so happy. Also look at Tim. The man could power a city with that smile. He is melting into a damn puddle in front of her. Couldn't be happier to see them together again. Lucy letting Kojo know how much she misses him.

'Feeling's mutual.' OH. MY. LORD. Way to be transparent af my love. Do it more….Straight up using Kojo to say he misses Lucy. It's oozing out of him, how much he craves her presence. I cannot everyone. Let's not ignore the fact that Lucy looks at him sweetly in reply. Melting a little more each episode. It's a very telling look. Still a little guarded but happy none the less. I will take this win from her. So will Tim. Any positive moment with her is a win.

Tim nervously asking her to stay. *screams into a pillow* Sweet baby James. I'm so giddy I might faint. The little breath he takes before he asks. *heart clutch* So reminiscent of 5x08. This is everything. That man is so so gone for her. He wants her to stay more than anything. Ugh my heart. Look at him. Hands in his pockets. Being a little awko taco. Hoping against hope she will say yes. The only way he could be more transparent is if he wore a 'I love and miss Lucy.' sign. Holy cow. If you had any lingering doubts after last week this should obliterate that.

Lucy is stunned by his offer. Stands up right away with her 'Oh.' You can see she has to fight that magnetic pull of theirs. That need to be around him and stay. Melissa plays it so well. Fighting that urge. Knowing if she stays where it’ll end. Most likely in his bed... She can’t risk that. Can't risk hurting her heart like that again. Even though that same heart is dying to stay, her brain helps her bolt. Her nervous chuckle as she tells him no. Stumbling over her words to make a quick exit. Leaving both her boys behind. This hurt so good. Oh my lord. I am here for the slow burn everyone. I've said this many times. To get back to the summit that is them together it's going to take time.

When we do it's going to be so worth it. The delayed gratification will be unreal. We have to remember it's been FOUR episodes. Just four. I'm feeling no impatience at this point. This is going to be a lovely climb back to them. They can give me little moments like this as they make their way back all they want. I'm here for it and grateful to have them. I couldn’t be prouder of Tim for going for it though. Being the first to put himself out there again this second round. Just like he did in S5. Showing her he misses her with this offer. Testing their grounds by doing so. Think he could tell she wanted to. But wasn't surprised when she said no.

Goodness this made me giddy af. Also that man is a snack in that shirt. So she is strong to walk away from him. She all but runs when he is soft with her. Can’t say I blame her. Right now that way lies hurt. Also they need to have a real convo first. But hot damn I’m excited he went for it. Not once but twice. Saying he missed her inadvertently then asking her to stay. Ooooh I’m excited you guys! If you aren't I can't help you I really can't LOL Reaching down to pat the good boy with a sigh. His wingman really tried. Swing and a miss Timothy. But proud of you for giving it a go. I cannot wait till next week

Thank you x1000 to everyone who interacts with these. With your likes, comments and reblogs. They make my whole day every time a notification comes in. Biggest smile on my face. You're all the best. See you all in 7x05 :)

~~~

Side notes-Non Chenford

'How secure you are in your marriage.' I’ve been saying that since Wes heard the tapes. Oh Wes, what happens when you marry a beautiful, strong and independent woman.

'Being a woman is consistently terrifying.' If that isn’t the truth…. Line of the season for Angela right there.

The Sorority girls kicking the shit out of that guy was incredible. When I saw the blood on the floor I was worried. Then to see all those woman kicking, punching and stabbing that dude. Was epic. Angela telling them they have her recommendation if they ever was join the LAPD LOL

I wanna cry for Wes with this SL. Letting a killer back onto the streets. Doing his job or not that weighs on a person. Their psyche and conscience. He gave me such anxiety as he raced the the scene. Gah just breaking my heart when Angela checks in on him. Well done Shawn for this gif above. We don't get to see him flaunt his chops a whole lot and I'm happy to see they gave him the chance. He was fantastic in this ep.

Bailey took the phone number and let him go. Props my friend. More balls than your husband. When it comes to people I love I get very gray. I'm all about black and white like Tim but also like Tim, when its someone I love those start to blur to protect them. So kinda don't blame her for taking the insurance of his number.

Locking her away isn’t the answer my dude. It’s insulting to think she can’t handle herself if I was her. Be better to be together and tackle it as a team. But that’s just me.

‘You’re a grown ass woman not baby sitting you.’ Wade Grey I adore you sir.

Nyla being on her own making my heart palpitate. It felt very last of us if you’ve ever played that game and know the stress of it lol It was good but also anxiety inducing.

Loved the Nyla and Lopez hug I love it. Always happy to see this bad ass duo together.

7x05 looks good with the serial killer SL. Have a WILD theory of maybe it being Seth? I highly doubt it is. But dude be sus af right now. If that was true could bring up PTSD for Lucy with Caleb and all that. But that's a crazy road to go down. But had to get it off my chest on the off chance he ends up being involved somehow.

[kitsunexgari]

Summary: During a party you're attending with Byung-hun, you run into an old flame. Thanks to a little too much booze you end up kissing him, but you are caught. Obviously, Byung-hun isn't too happy with this situation and he decides to teach you a lesson about who you belong to when you get home. Tags: Dom/sub, Knifeplay, Blood Kink, Restraints, Riding Crops, Spanking, Mildly Dubious Consent, Fear Play, Butt Plugs, Slapping, Rough Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Blow Jobs, Scarification, Marking, Explicit Language, Dirty Talk, Consensual But Not Safe Or Sane Notes: This is meant as a fictional scenario and is not meant to reflect any sort of real life situation. It should be considered as extremely alternate universe.

"What is it about him huh? You couldn't just stop  yourself?" He demands as you get back to the house. You sigh, it wasn't just as black and white as stopping yourself but you weren’t exactly sure how to explain it. There was some kind of history there, a weird one but still there. It wasn't like it was just a superficial crush. You had gotten to know him over time and you hadn’t been able to stop yourself from one little kiss. Even if you knew it was wrong since you had someone else now. 

"First of all, you need to sober up," You warn and head for the kitchen to grab him a bottle of water. He follows after you close behind; you know he’s not happy but you also understand why. You know the booze is making him more riled up than he normally would be, and that is only going to make it much harder to talk to him. You turn and hold the water out to him, he glares at you but takes it anyway. "Secondly, I mean okay he's an old friend, someone that I knew before I ever you and I still do happen to find him very attractive. Yeah, it’s stupid I may have had a crush on him at some point, I guess those feelings came back up. Happens to the best of us. He was a bad boy and I was young and stupid but I like that whole-" 

"A bad boy..." He cuts you off as he opens the bottle of water, "That guy, that pretty guy in the suit, a bad boy?"

"Maybe, at one time, it was just a fantasy I guess. Obviously I wouldn't like him if he were really a-" 

"Psycho killer is that what you want now?" He asks then takes a few gulps of water and moves to the counter pulling a knife from the wooden block where it’s sitting. He turns towards you holding it up to your face. "I can give you psycho killer, I'm fucking Lucifer if that’s what you want.”

"I-" 

"You...your the one who gave me my power little girl." He grins. You can’t deny what he’s doing is really hot. It isn’t giving you a dangerous vibe at all, he knows you like this because you had flat out admitted it to him in a hot tub one night. Your fantasy, how badly you wanted it. The whole thing about pushing it to the extreme and not stopping unless you use the safe word. Though he is upset, or had been, you can see the shift. The air has changed. For whatever reason this had stirred up that part of him that feels he could fulfill the fantasy you have. Perhaps what it took to spark this feeling was seeing you do that. Kiss another man. 

"My fantasy was about an actual human, not the devil." You say softly after another moment. "Also to be caught off guard and well...I like this whole thing but you're drunk and we shouldn't do this." It kind of pains you to say it. Boy do you want to do it. You even realize the thrill of doing it while he is less inhibited than usual, which isn’t even that much to start with. The danger of doing something that reckless is intoxicating but you know you shouldn't. It went against the rules and if they started to break the rules, then where would they be? You move past him, testing the waters a bit. Wanting to see if he remembers the rest of what you said. About not stopping until you call the safe word. No matter how much you protest. You hear him growl as you pass but you don’t  hear him following. That’s kind of a bummer. 

You head into the bathroom and strip out of your shoes and dress then walk over to the shower. You turn it on and step up to the sink so you can take your hair down. You’d gotten it done professionally for the party. They'd used all sorts of clips and pins and you didn't know where. It was much easier to take it down while looking in a mirror than trying to guess. As you pull the last pin from your hair the lights in there flicker and go out entirely. It wouldn't have been so bad other than the fact that it made things nearly pitch black. There is some light coming in through the window but not much. 

"Byung-hun?" You call. Since it is summer and has been unusually hot, you wouldn't have been anywhere near surprised if there were rolling blackouts again. You sigh and start to blindly find your way back towards the bedroom. Eventually you find where you tossed your purse down and get your phone out. Flicking on the flashlight you shine it around the room. "BYUNG-HUN!" From outside you can hear a dog barking in the distance, though that only lasts a moment before it stops. You head out into the hallway, still just in your bra and panties. Stockings and garter belt as well. He seems to like that sort of thing so you’d worn it on purpose to the party to tease him. 

Stepping into the hall you shine the flashlight one way, pausing to try to remember where the hell the fuse box is. It seems the lights are out in the entire house. You guess it could be a problem with that but maybe it was just another rolling blackout. You turn your phone so the screen is facing you, intending to Google blackouts in the area to confirm your theory. Out of nowhere, you are grabbed from behind. A leather gloved hand presses over your mouth tightly. It startles you enough to drop your phone as you are pulled back a few feet.  

"I don't think anyone's here to help you. Haven't seen people around," The voice was definitely Byung-hun’s so at least that calms you. Slightly. To be fair, he'd done a good job of this and you really like the way your heart is pounding in your chest. "Now, you're going to do what I fucking say or you're going to fucking regret it. Understood?" You feel him shift and a second after that, the cold metal of a knife pressed to the side of your throat. You gasp softly, closing your eyes. He is really going for it, isn’t he? 

"Y-yes..." You say into his hand even though it is considerably muffled. 

"That's my good girl, now...I think we're going to start by showing me what you want to do with him hmmm? Bet you'd just love to be sucking his cock  right now, huh?" He asks. 

"No! I-"  

"Of course you would you stupid whore..." He chuckles darkly. Oddly enough, as much as you recognized the voice as his it was still different. Like he is playing a character or something. It is deeper, smoother, much more savage. It’s just different enough to drive you crazy. You’ve never heard him speak in this manner before. 

"Come on now, start walking." You don’t have a choice either way because he is so much bigger than you. You are just turned and he starts to force you down the hall towards where the bedroom is. When you are about 5 feet from the door he shoves you away from him and towards it. You stumble then turn to look back. He definitely has a knife. He must have kept it with him when you left the kitchen. 

"Open it, go on." He shoves the knife in her face. You swallow hard and nod, reaching toward to grab the knob and twist it to push the door open. As it swings back he grabs you by the hair violently and pulls you inside with him, shoving you down onto your knees quickly. "Stay there, don't fucking move." 

"Yes uh..."

"Sir is fine," He chuckles moving towards the dresser where you keep most of the toys you have around for fun. You turn your head to see what he’s doing. He hasn’t positioned you correctly for you to see exactly what might be going on. "DON'T FUCKING MOVE WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST TELL YOU?" 

"S-Sorry." You yelp turning your head back so you are looking forward instead of over your shoulder. 

"Repeat it, bitch, what did I just fucking tell you?" He insists. 

"Not to move, sir." You say. 

"So you can hear, good to know," He growls. You close your eyes, taking in a deep breath. This is far more intense than anything you’d ever experienced with him but you are loving it. You glance around the room then over to the door. Part of you wonders what he’ll do if you run. Would he keep going? Still play along? Get worse? You wait until he sounds distracted. Rifling through the items in the dresser. You scramble to your feet and yank the door open before racing out of there as fast as you can. "GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!" 

You scream, tearing down the hall and going for the stairs. Just as you are about to reach them you are tackled to the ground, hard. He pins you there, pressing the palm of his hand to the side of your face. Pushing your cheek into the carpet. Your heart is pounding in your chest but she are loving every second of it. 

"LET ME GO!" You scream at him, and like you mean it, trying to test him on this. 

"Right, the guy with the fucking knife who came in here just to fuck that sweet ass is going to let you go. What fun would that be?" He taunts. You scream again but he just ignores it, pulling your arms back behind you and tying them in place. It seems like he more than likely had just picked up the rope when you made a break for it. Shit he is good at this.

"PLEASE! I'M SORRY!"

"Sorry about what? That you're such a goddamn, cock teasing whore?" He snarls, getting down by your face to do it, even drooling on you a bit. You cry out in disgust and he very easily pulls you up onto your feet again. You try to drag them, lock up, anything you can but it isn’t working. He is very easily able to pull you back to where you had been before because the stockings on your feet made it painfully simple to slide you around. 

"What are you gonna do now? Huh? Tough guy? Hands are behind my back!" You snap at him. The door had shut behind him, and though you knew you probably shouldn't be a smart ass right now you want to test it. Since it is ultimately safe to do this with him, and you know it, you want to see what might happen. Challenge him a bit. Not letting go of you for a second he drags you into the bedroom and shoves you to your knees like he had before.  "Stay the fuck there," He warns, shoving the knife in your face. "DON'T FUCKING MOVE!" 

"OKAY!" You yell back. He growls again and steps away from you but only for a second. The next thing you know he is putting a blindfold over your eyes. A good one too. Something very specifically meant to block out your sight entirely. With your arms restrained as they are and this blindfold tied around your head you aren’t going anywhere he doesn’t let you, that is for sure. He pulls you back up to your feet and quite rudely shoves you onto the bed, pinning you down on your stomach. 

"Now, bitch, I'm going to untie you, do not fucking try to fight me. You won't win. I'm gonna get exactly what the fuck I came here for." He warns you. You groan softly, unable to help it, as you feel the holds around your wrist release. You do jerk back and try to fight but he has you pinned too well. It only takes a few more movements to get you onto your back and yank your arms up over your head where he uses the rope to tie them in place to the headboard. "Try to get out of that you sneaky bitch." 

"Let me go!" You whine loudly. 

"Go? Oh I don't think so...party is just getting started sweetheart!" He says then laughs the most evil laugh you’ve heard yet. It sends chills through your body but, it doesn’t matter. You are hot. Burning. All you want is him and he probably knows it at that point. It is why he isn’t giving it to you. He is in control and he wants to prove it. He wants to win. 

"Please...Master I-" 

"You what?" He asks, "Think I need to teach you a damn lesson. You fight back, you run away from me and you think I'm going to be fucking nice?" 

"I don't-" 

"You don't what?" He snaps back at you. "Everyone saw you there tonight, you bitch...and I'm going to make sure you remember you always remember who your real Master is. Got that shit? ANSWER!"

  "Yes sir!" You yell back instantly, mostly because his voice is jarring as hell. He makes it feel like your heart is going to leap right out of your throat. You only crave  more. 

"Good," He says, "Prepare for a night you won't soon forget, little girl." You hear him chuckle as he takes a few steps away from you. You whine loudly, a sound which only gets louder once you feel the cold metal of a blade pressing against your stomach. You shiver as he runs it over your skin. Down towards the waistband of your panties. He cuts them off roughly before pressing the flat of the blade over your clit. It is nearly enough to get you to cum but he pulls back just in time causing you to scream angrily. 

"PLEASE!" 

"You really think you deserve to cum that fast? Huh? Stupid bitch," He snarls and slaps your inner thigh. You squeal and struggle as he cuts off your bra next, crying out when he actually cuts you. Nothing too dangerous, feels only like a scratch. You moan, laying back, trying to relax but it is so hard. You didn't think you’d ever want to cum so badly in your life. "You look good like this, real good but you'd look even better with my initials carved into that pretty little body of yours." 

"W-What?" You whisper. Oddly enough, you aren’t opposed to this. At least not in the moment but will he really do it? You are aware this is a terrible idea but fuck does it turn you on and you don’t want to stop him. You refuse to stop him. Being marked like that as his? Fuck you can’t think of a better suggestion. Plus you kind of want to see if he will do it. If he is still going by the set guidelines. Only stop if you call the safe word. Well, you weren’t going to call it just wait to see what might happen.

"Yeah how about...here?" He says moving the knife right to your neck, "Huh that would probably kill you. The blood would be amazing though...let's see...." He starts to trail the knife down towards more of the center of your chest, pressing hard enough that it was definitely leaving a mark just not slicing you open. He stops when he gets above your heart. 

"Sir-" 

"Shut the FUCK up you don't get a FUCKING say in this!" He roars at you. You mewl softly but shut your mouth, your hands clench into fists above your head. This is going to hurt but fuck do you want it. Will he do it though? Will he actually do it? You hold your breath. "Yes right here above that pretty little heart of yours." After that, he doesn’t hesitate to make the first cut. You scream but he just continues. You can feel the letters as he works, the shape of it. The knife is damn sharp so it is easy enough to do. The hot blood spills out over your skin. Enough to feel it but not enough that it’s gushing either. This will scar but it certainly won’t kill you. By the time he finishes you are so stunned he had actually done it you can barely speak. Your body is completely on fire with arousal. He is going to have to do very little to make you cum after that and you know it. 

"There we go, much better. Now everyone's going to fucking know..." He snarls. There is a pause as he pills his gloves off. His fingers moving to dip into the blood and smear it down your chest over your stomach. You groaned, arching up towards his touch. "You're more of a fucking slut than I imagined." 

"Please just-" 

"What? Fuck you? Fuck you after all this shit? You think that's what you're getting? Oh no...not that easy bitch. You still gotta pay the price." He warns. "Gonna make sure you're screaming my name by the end of this, and it will only ever be my name again. Understood?" 

"Y-Yes sir." You reply breathlessly. 

"What name is that then? Huh?" He asks, slapping your cheeks roughly to get your attention, which is good because you were in such an aroused haze you can barely think. 

“Byung-hun..." 

"Damn fucking right it is." He says. You hear him take a few steps away from you, back towards the dresser before returning. "So what to do with you? Hmmm? I can see how bad you fucking wanted, I can smell it. Can't control yourself? No, no I knew that already. Little slut like you, have to watch you all the fucking time." Without any sort of warning he slaps your cunt with what feels like a riding crop he has grabbed. You squeal and twist under him before he does it again. 

"I'm sorry!" 

"No you're not but you're certainly going to be." He tells you, slapping you twice more. You scream in frustration. The slaps are enough to cause pleasure but the sting after takes away any ability for you to actually orgasm. You are right on the edge, trying to push up towards him but because of the stockings on your feet, you keep slipping. "You're just a worthless fucktoy you know, my worthless fucktoy. Say it!" He slaps your stomach with the crop. You let out a yelp. 

"I-I'm your...your fucktoy." You breathe. 

"What was that? Huh?" He demands slapping your stomach again. 

"I'M YOUR WORTHLESS FUCKTOY SIR!" You scream.   "That's right, here for my pleasure not yours not anyone else's but mine. Gonna learn that lesson tonight, gonna learn it real good." He says. He comes around the bed and unties you, making quick work of getting you back onto your knees. Not that you were even thinking about resisting him at that point. There is the sound of movement, you hear his slacks unzipping and he grabs the back of your head. "Open your fucking mouth." You do as you are told really easily and his cock is jammed in there seconds later. 

You can feel how aroused he is by this, taste it. It only fuels you more. You try to work your mouth and tongue but he has another idea. His grip tightens and he starts to shove you down on him, then pull back. Up and down, up and down, rougher and rougher. You are gagging so harshly and so loudly you can barely catch your breath. Just when you think you might panic he stops, shoving you back. Like he can sense it somehow. You take in a gasp of air and start to cough, your hands moving up to your throat. As you try to catch your breath he yanks you up and shoves you over the bed. Pulling your hands in front of you again he restrains you so you are bent over across it, at the waist. He comes around behind you and slaps your ass roughly a few times. You cry out, jerking at the harsh treatment but, only wanting more.  There is another pause and then something presses against your ass. You can feel the lube on it, and it isn’t huge. This is good cause you’d never done this before. 

"Oh God..." 

"What's that? You don't want this in your ass?" He asks, "You really think that shit matters right now?" 

"Depends on what-" 

"No...no it fucking doesn't." He cuts you off and shoves it in anyway. You scream, then moan, the moment it is in you know it is a plug. One of the smaller ones in your collection, because you hadn't really intended to use it. Even if previously you were convinced you’d hate this, at the moment it was nice. Very nice. Unexpectedly nice. Possibly because you are so damn aroused and it is some kind of penetration even if it is not the kind you want. "There we go." 

"Oh God please just fuck me!" You scream, unable to keep yourself from shaking at that point. 

"I really don't think you should be talking to Master that way if you want anything soon..." He warns you then slaps your ass again. You groan and press her cheek against the bed, closing your eyes tightly under the blindfold. He comes around so he is standing in front of you, using his hands to guide yours to his cock. You take it and start to stroke it firmly like he is attempting to show you to do. For some reason. "Feel this? Huh?" 

"Y-Yes sir..." You whisper. 

"Good, you want this? Cause you fucking did it." He growls. 

"I-I know sir...please I-" 

"You what? Hmmm?" He slapped her hands away, "You're a worthless fucktoy, aren't you?" 

"Yes...yes sir." 

"SAY IT!" 

"I'm a worthless fucktoy." You breathe.

"And who does that fucktoy belong to?" He asks like he was talking to some kind of lap dog. 

"You, Sir. I belong to you." You reply. 

"That's my good girl." He chuckles. He steps away and you can hear his footsteps walk back around the other side of the bed then behind you. Then there is silence. A lot of it. You whine and struggle wondering what the fuck he is doing. This seems to drag on for an eternity before he grabs your hips and slams into your cunt from behind. It is enough to trigger an orgasm but he starts to pound into you relentlessly. Seeming not to actually care what you are enjoying and what you aren’t. Which only makes it better. You really were a fucktoy now but you were his. "Say it bitch...say it again..." 

"I belong to…you…sir…" 

"That's fucking right! WHO FUCKING OWNS YOU?" 

"You do!!" You scream, your hands clenching into fists again trying to jerk upwards from the restraints. 

"DAMN. FUCKING. RIGHT. IT. FUCKING. IS!" He yells back, punctuating each word with a brutal slap to your ass. He grabs your hips again, tightly enough that you are pretty sure you’ll have bruises there too. "Wanna cum again? Huh? Cum for Daddy like the worthless fucktoy you fucking are?" 

"Yes-" 

"What?" 

"YES DADDY PLEASE!" You scream, slipping up as she you are unable to think clearly. He leans in closer to you, over you, a hand slipping under to get to your clit. He then literally bites into your shoulder, enough you feel the skin break in a few places. This coinciding with what his fingers are doing giving you the most intense orgasm you’d ever had in your life. You scream, bucking against him roughly, all the air leaving your lungs.

The very next thing you are aware of is him saying your name. Maybe. You heard his voice, not the sexy killer voice he'd been doing before but his actual voice. The fuck had happened? Had you blacked out? 

"Are you okay?" This time it was far more clear.

"Shit....shit I'm fine I'm fine I swear..." You managed to spit out a moment later. "Fuck...oh god I didn't ruin it for you did I?" 

"No..." He says breathlessly then you hear him laugh. The blindfold is untied from your head quickly after that. He comes around to the other side of the bed and reaches to untie you. "I uh....I mean I was paying attention but I uh...well I came right about when you did and kind of took me a moment to realize something was wrong so I mean it was great then kind of scary but not ruined." 

"Oh...good." You whisper then try to stand up and immediately collapse onto the floor since your legs are too weak. He rushes over to the other side of the bed, picking you up from the floor and pulling you into his arms easily enough. You look at him, with what you assume is the dumbest smile on your face ever.  "That was...amazing." You breathe. 

"You're sure you're okay?" He asks, looking down at you with the most loving eyes you’ve ever seen. 

"You have no idea," You whisper, "I fucking wanted that, needed it, and you delivered. You're amazing. You're sure I didn't...ruin it?" 

"No...not even a little." He says and hugs you close. You wrap your arms around his neck a bit tighter, to help him out as he carries you through the door and into the bathroom. Resting against him, your eyes started to close. That had been insane, and pretty addictive. Though it wasn't something you think you really wanted to do all the time, you don’t regret a second of it. You are pretty sure that you have found the perfect match. Hopefully you’d be able to hold onto for a long time. 

[tonysbed]

Secrets I keep | Part 8

Lando Norris x sister!reader

Daniel Ricardo x norris!reader

Max Fewtrell x norris!reader

summary: You and Max have been dancing around your feelings for years but jealousy gets the best of us all..

NOT PROOFREAD 😬

series masterlist | previous | next

-

yn

liked by landonorris, kellypiquet, charlesleclerc and 739.638 others

yn kika didn’t like her picture so she forbid me to post ours, had to replace it w a pic of me 😔

franciscagomez marry me

yn 💍

alexandrasaintmleux 😍😍

kellypiquet gorgeous 🫶🏻

yn youuu

danielriccardo I don’t see anyone complaining 👀

pierregasly Riccardo. Careful.

danielriccardo I didn’t mean it like that and you know it! 😬

pierregasly mhm

yn 😀

user can daniel fight??

user Need her omg

user the better norris

landonorris excuse me

yn you heard the people. Need me to spell it out for you??

landonorris 🙄🙄

-

“Can we talk for a moment?” Daniel says from the couch. You turn to him, take your drink and sit down “Sure. What about?” “Us”

You nod “We couldn’t really talk about everything last night, which is okay. I mean we were both tired and all” He starts.

“I just need to know.. Do you like me or am I really just the rebound?” He looks at you, hoping you wouldn’t say what he dreaded would be the answer.

You scrunch your eyebrows together “That’s not what this is.” “Then what is this? I don’t want you to let me fall once Fewtrell decides he wants you regardless of Lando. I need to know now so I can walk away. I need to walk away if that could happen.”

You squeeze your eyes shut and set down your drink “Daniel.” You look at him “I..” You sigh “You’re-“ Like in every other inconvenient moment, your doorbell rings “Oh for fucks sake” You get up and open the door.

“Oh. Max.” “Hey, uhm lando told me to come pick something up for him?” You nod “It’s a gift for a friends birthday. Come in” You lead him into the living room where Daniel sits.

Max nods and so does Daniel. “I’ll be right back. No stupid stuff” You point at Max “Why are you pointing at me?” He raised his hands “Because I don’t trust you” You squint your eyes “Don’t move.Ill be right back” You make your way to your bedroom.

Max sways on his feet, eyes wandering around the room. Daniel stares at him.

“It’s unfair” Daniel says coldly “Hm?” Max looks at him “She likes you and you treat her like crap. I want to give her the world and she’ll probably still choose you”

Max looks at him for a moment “You don’t know anything, Riccardo” “Don’t I?” “No you don’t. Otherwise you would say shit like that.” Daniel scoffs “Oh yeah? You keep acting like she doesn’t exist or makes it painful to be in her presence”

“It’s painful to be in your presence, not hers.”Max says, looking away from the australian.

“What have I done to you? You’re the one who rejected her.”

“In both of our better interest. Lando would’ve never spoken to her again.Do you even know how many times he told everyone how off limits she was? They’re each others person. I’m not taking that from them just because..just..” Max sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Because you loved her since she did.” Max looks at Daniel again but doesn’t move any more than that.

Silence filled the room, the two men are so busy staring at each other that they don’t notice you standing in the doorway. You don’t move, eyes locked on max.

“Here’s the package.” You say quietly, stepping towards Max. They both look at you in shock. Max starts to speak “Don’t. Please go.” He nods “See you” Max looks at Daniel and then at you before walking out.

You sigh and turn to Daniel “Did you have to do that?” He looks at you but doesn’t say anything “I think you should go too.” “Yn please” “No. You want an honest answer? I still like Max, yes. Doesn’t mean I don’t like you but if the possibility was there, I’d chose him.”

Daniel looks away for a moment “It happened so fast that I didn’t pull myself out of whatever we are. But this whole ‘I’m better than you’ thing? I’m not doing that. If this is how you act around Max it’s just a matter of time until Lando catches wind of it and I can’t have that.” Daniel gets up “Please, I would never tell Lando”

“Please go, Daniel. We can be friends, but we won’t work out romantically.” You say dryly. In his eyes is a flash of hurt “I need you to go, now.” He nods, gets his things and leaves.

-

-

yn added to their story

[cap 1: 🧡🧡 | cap 2: My new private chef btw]

-

“So what happened?” Lando leans on the kitchen Island while Carlos is collecting all the ingredients and tools he needs.

“I threw daniel out and..I broke off whatever it was between us” You say, still sounding unsure “What? Why? I mean it just started” “I..He’s not.. We wouldn’t work. We’ve got different expectations and.. I can’t live up to his. And that’s okay.” You say, now watching carlos pour in some flour.

“Well, if that’s what’s right for you, then that’s good” Carlos says, which Lando agrees to “This was way to fast paced” You say, leaning on your hand. Carlos looks up at you “That’s what it looked like from the outside too, sorry” You shake your head.

“Don’t be sorry, Carlos. It’s the truth.” Carlos nods and continues his pancake recipe. Lando looks at you “But you’re okay? Or do you want a hug?” “I always want hugs” You smile and open your arms. He chuckled and pulled you into his embrace “Yeah, as you used to say, you’re olaf”

You chuckle “I am! I love hugs!” Carlos chuckled at you two “There’s not a thing in the world that would ever break you two apart” You look at Carlos, who smiles.

“Well I hope not. Who’s gonna make ads for quadrant?” Lando asked teasingly. You slap his arm which he laughs at “I’m joking, i’m joking stop hitting me!” He pulls your wrists down and laughs.

“Asshole” “You love me” “I sadly do, yea” Carlos chuckled “Never ever changed.” He says as he pours the pancake mix into the pan.

Lando’s arm stays around you “You know I just want you to be happy, right?” You nod “Yeah, of course” “I don’t care who you’re with, you’re my sister” You nod again and Carlos eyes you both. You take a mental note of carlos look.

-

danielriccardo added to their story

-

pierregasly already going back??

danielriccardo smth came up

pierregasly okay okay

maxverstappen1 keep your head up, it’ll be fine

danielriccardo I know, I get it. Don’t worry abt me ;)

maxverstappen1 💙

-

A few days later you’re sitting in Landos apartment, Max sits on the other couch next to yours. Lando quickly went down to get your ordered food.

“I’m sorry” Max says, looking at you. You look up from your phone “What?” “For the daniel thing.” “He started it, Max” “I should’ve ignored him then” You shake your head “I may wouldn’t have told him to leave if it wasn’t for you. I..we would’ve never worked out for long.”

Max nods “Peace?” You smile “Probably easier, no?” He nods “Probably” Lando walks in with the food and sets it’s down on the table.

“I see you’re both still alive, that’s good” “We just decided on peace.” Lando’s eyes widen “Really? So.. no more fighting?” You chuckle “Well try” Lando nods “Okay, that’s good” You smile and look down before taking the food that lando hands you.

-

yn

liked by maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 738.534 others

yn and we’re back 🧡 (hurt them and I’ll haunt you in your sleep)

lilyzhneimer 😂🧡

yn nothing and no one will harm either of you 🤺

oscarpiastri thank you, yn 😂

landonorris loving my teammate more than me I see

yn not hard to

landonorris pls go back to being sad

yn fuck off

user MAX MENTION ONG

user where is daniel??😕

user yn is their number one shipper and defender 😂

user not jinxing anything this time, only manifesting for the best🤞

-

this is so short AND late but I had to scrap the other version and I still don’t like this but.. you’ll have to live with it.

Next part will be longer ☝️

[archivalofsins]

Loving this line for Kazui, "I warned them many times. Many, many, many, many, many times! You should have stopped it! You, of all people!"

This is made twenty times funnier by me always switching Kazui and Amane's numbers in my head because now I get to do this-

Hey, why the fuck is the only person torn up about what occurred the child that everyone blamed for it while the guy who's lived there for years is like,

"What went wrong, I wonder?"

Like bro I just wrote a post about all the things you knew could have gone wrong that you could have warned us about. Kazui for the love of god please sir? Please- this shouldn't be that funny accidental three D's success.

Rare win for dyscalculia.

Because bro you warned us of many things. Which one? Like specifically in his second voice drama he warned us about Mikoto and Kotoko. This could also be alluding to this conversation he had with Yuno which would be the vaguest way to warn someone ever mind you-

23/09/02 (Yuno’s Birthday)

Kazui: I heard you’ve been helping Shidou-kun out. ……er, sorry if this comes across as rude, but it’s kind of unexpected. It always seemed like you didn’t care that much about other people.

Yuno: Hmm? What’s with that all of a sudden. I mean, you’re right, I don’t care much. But if there’s someone dying in front of you anyone would do what they could to help, right? And anyway, aren’t you the same? You usually don’t care much either, right?

Kazui: ……I wonder. This old man isn’t as much of a thinker as you are. I mean, until now I’ve been in an environment where it’s all about having physical strength. So I’ve never really thought about stuff like that.

Yuno: Haha, we’re the same in that we’re both liars too. I guess the difference is the reasons we lie. You care about yourself, so lie to protect yourself. I don’t care about anyone at all, including myself.

Or this conversation with Mikoto which isn't a fucking warning either Kazui-

24/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday)

Mikoto: ––No, it’s just…… I’m happy for the thought…… But I don’t even know myself what I’ll do next. So I can’t really hang out at the moment, y’know? But…… haha, aren’t you scared, Kazu-san?

Kazui: Hmm, I guess because of my work, I’m used to dealing with rowdy youngsters. Obviously you have your reasons. I don’t feel like prying, though. Well, whenever you feel like it, you’re always welcome. If you’re always on your own it’ll just make you feel worse. I’ll be company if you need to relieve some stress.

Mikoto: Yeah…… I’m not really, y’know, used to relying on other people. Like, I start to worry that I’m being a burden. And it’s hard for me to deal with feeling so pathetic…… If I do say so myself, I’m super Japanese, haha……

Kazui: Hm…… well, I’m fine whatever. If this is what’s easiest for you, I won’t force you. But you know, being in your 20s is still super young. It’s great that you’re so disciplined, but most people won’t worry if you’re a bit of a burden. I mean, I’m almost 40, and I feel like I’m still a kid now.

Or are you referring to these two conversations-

20/06/19

Kazui: By the way…… thanks, Shina-chan. You keep going around and talking to people to make sure the mood never gets too sour, right? It’s a big help. We’re all in here together, after all. If a fight broke out the whole group could fall apart.

Mahiru: ……eh? Huh~? Ah, no, I’m just talking to people because I personally want to talk. All the kids are so cute, so I can’t help but want to fuss over them! A fight, huh… But if that ever happened, then you’ll definitely be a big help, right~? Since you’re so big! And buff!

Kazui: Ahh, no. I mean, I’ll do what I can. Based on appearance, as long as nobody has a weapon, I think I can probably get everyone under control…… No, we should just hope that nothing like that ever happens.

Mahiru: You know, I quite like watching martial arts, actually. I don’t really get it, but it looks super cool. Hi-yah! Hi-yah!

20/06/23

Futa: Old man, don’t just laze around so carefree like that. Haven’t you thought about how to break out from here? With your physique, you can probably take out the guard and escape, right?

Kazui: Ahh…… Ok, let’s put it this way. You got caught up in a bank robbery, and the culprit has blocked off the police. From a glance, they look pretty weak, and don’t seem to be holding any weapons. Would you try to arrest them yourself?

Futa: ……if it looked like I’d be able to, then I would. You said they’re weak and don’t have any weapons, right? Everyone else in the building’s life is on the line. Those who can fight should fight.

Kazui: Haha, I wouldn’t recommend that. Even if they look weak, they might actually be a lot stronger. They might have an accomplice hiding somewhere. And they might not look like they have a weapon, but could easily be hiding a gun ……you shouldn’t act until you have absolute confidence in your assessment. So, for now I’m going to sit back and assess the situation. And on that note, I’m off for a smoke~

Given that other translations have said he's was saying you should have stopped him like I'd assume he was talking about one of the guys. At best Mikoto since he was brought up by Kazui specifically in his second voice drama. Though other translations have no mentions of gender instead saying them or you (as in Es).

Either way listing everything he really did warn a lot of people that there may not be much he could do if an attack broke out or if they kept happening. So this appears to be an honest reaction to what has happened.

[garez19]

let’s talk about a yandere childhood friend and his ill-spirited darling who doesn’t mind using his affection.

tw: bullying

your childhood friend of years cherished you from the bottom of his heart, which was obvious to anyone who looked at your way. and it was not like it was hard to understand why —at least what he told himself. you taught him pretty much everything. growing up with you, he had always been so used to your presence, and it wasn’t in an unhealthy way, he supposed, it was just how best friends were supposed to be like.

and you liked it. although there were times you found him extremely annoying and just felt like telling him to fuck off, you knew he didn’t mean ill. he was there to help. never did he do anything that benefited him more than it benefited you.

so you eventually started to slack off. it started with pure laziness that was led by his strong desire to provide comfort. you’d stopped bringing lunches because he never failed to show up with two packs of if. it tasted amazing, you told him most of the time.

you didn’t lose sleep over projects or exams anymore, as he was always there to get you through them. you didn’t have to stress about anything regarding school as long as you were classmates.

and then it hit you. the comfort made your vision blurry. you weren’t doing anything beneficial for yourself, and instead you were just ordering him around. there were even times you forgot to reply when someone asked you something because he was there to do it. hell, he was there to do anything for you.

so you then took it to the next level. you still didn’t need to pack lunches, and you wanted to get higher education. so he tutored you almost like a professional—for absolutely free.

he was totally okay with anything you said, and you never realized that was not how regular friendship dynamics were like. not until you’d witnessed human connections. they were okay, sure, but they weren’t as obedient as him. they weren’t just going to apologize with a dull expression whenever you told them to shut up, and they weren’t going to act like saints when you’d been nothing but rude to them.

but at least he was still by your side. at least you still had someone to complain to, you told yourself.

and when you grumbled about how your friends were being horrible to you -they weren’t- you didn’t expect him to do anything about it this time. after all, there were limited things he could do about your relationships with people.

limited, but not zero.

you were shocked to see your friends coming up to you to make amends. some of them caught you in the hallway, some sat right next to you in the class. all of them had an expression that somehow revealed they weren’t 100% willing about the whole situation, and you were quick to realize the reason.

you didn’t ask him. and you knew he wouldn’t have confirmed it anyway.

you didn’t really need anyone anyway, that was when you’d decided. and your so-called friends didn’t deserve you as they failed to realize you’d been nothing but docile and understanding. you didn’t need anyone. you would never.

and you weren’t going to be as forgiving once people did you dirty anymore.

so when you came running to him crying, you knew he was going to be furious. there was no doubt he would take care of it—quickly and quietly, with threats or bribes, or maybe even more than that.

you told him how this girl from your art class kept bullying you, how she called you names and how you didn’t know what you’d done to deserve such treatment. he hushed you calmly as he repeated you’d never deserve that. you’d never deserve anything but the very best because oh, you were the sweetest girl he’d ever met. such a kind soul you had.

you smiled at him. he smiled back.

***

“don’t call me a bitch ever again, you hear me?” you told her.

“I apologize.” she answered on her knees—eyes on the ground.

“and don’t wear these shorts again, they don’t suit you at all.” you huffed.

she slowly nodded as you left the classroom, messaging about him about lunch as you walked.

[princessmaeee]

U N E X P E C T E D _ P A R T I

・ Hello ! So this is the first Part of « Unexpected » I feel like it's a mid start, but I guess all artist are the same, not 100% satisfied with their work. So, tell me what you think of this start. We're not gonna see Ji Yong that much in this first part, cause I needed to set up the arrival of Reader in the city and talk about her a little bite and why she's there and everything. We need the Why, where, when and how. So there you go, let me now what you taught about it and I apologies in advance for any mistakes you could find. ・Taglist : @thanosscross - @rafesbunniebby

_ Amy, For the last time, I said No !

Walking back from school, you talked with your best friend Amy about the same subject for the umpteenth time this week. Her dad, who live In South Korea, works  as a Manager for groups in a music company called YG Entertainment. He told her they will have auditions at the beginning of Summer to find new talents and since Amy is a popular singer on Tik Tok and has many followers, she’s sure to find her place there. The only thing is ; She needs you with her. She needs you for emotional support but also because you are the creator of all her successful songs. You wrote every song she sang and made the music behind everything she put online. Unfortunately you can’t afford to go In South Korea for the whole summer. You have an apartment to pay, bills , a job to pay school. You have your boring adult life and duties, not like your best friend who still Live with her mother and drops out School. 

_Y/N please I really need you. I want you there with me and I'm gonna need a New song for the audition. I need you to work with me on it. _You can totally take one of your old songs. You know I can’t afford that. If I could, you know I will agree to go to support you. But I can’t … _My brother want to leave the house but he’s not sure yet, maybe if You accept to rent your apartment for the Summer, You will have a problem solved, right ? _Yeah, Kinda ? What about my job ? What about my next school session ? I need to pay it. _I will ask my mom to pay for it ? Please, I really want you to come. My dad agreed to pay the plane ticket for both of Us. Since the time I talk about you he’s really excited to meet you. _I don’t know…I’m not really comfortable letting your mom pay for my things …

Amy didn’t stop trying to convict you to come with her and You finally agree IF you didn’t had any thing except your own personal stuff to pay once you gonna be In Seoul and IF her mom can pay for your school. Of course you plan to give the money back if she can at least help on that, it will help you and make your friend Happy.

So this is how you found yourself, some weeks later in the Plan, direction Seoul in South Korea. During the fly, Amy didn’t stop talking about all the handsome artists her dad work with and some other groups this label have. You just nodded and listen and forget everything she said 20 minutes later since you didn’t really care. You only go there for her as her best friend, supporter and first Fan. 

_Oh this is Big Bang, they’re so good. Really handsomes, amazing dancers, pretty voices, I like them so much and can’t wait to met them

She show you a picture of the group. You didn’t feel as impressed as she was. When you gave a look at when they started you raised an eyebrow. They’re probably older than you.

_They’re way older than you… _And ? _Oh I don’t know, the way you talk about them, with this little sparkle in the eyes makes me feel like you want to marry one of them, you answered as a joke.

You saw her cheeks becoming a little more pink as she took her phone back and looked at the picture with a smile.

_Honestly, they’re the ones who gave me courage to start singing. I always wanted to be as badass as them, as good as them. I hope one day we can work together. Also, when I was younger I had a Huge crush on the leader. His stage name is G-Dragon, but his real name is Ji-Yong. Look at how hot he is.

She showed you a picture. Her little story was really cute and more impressive than the guy she talked about. You gave a quick look at the pictures she had on her phone before giving it back.

_Yeah he’s … kinda Cute, I guess. _Oh, maybe you're gonna find a Boyfriend there ? That will be so nice and also adorable. Your first boyfriend, met during a Summer trip. It sound So… -K-Drama Core. No thank you. If I am to get myself a Boyfriend I will prefer him to live closer to me. Not millions miles away. _Y/N Why are you so dramatic ? Can you just let yourself go to some little fantasies ? _I wish I could. 

If life was a little bit more gentle with you before, maybe you would still have been like Amy ; Positiv, hopeless romantic with a lot of hopes for many things. Unfortunately you lost this little sparkle over time, but you still try to appreciate what you have, like this trip. Even if you’re not over the moon like your friend, You are still really happy to live this experience, it will change a lot from your boring life.

You even get this chance to learn some Korean Words or basic sentences. Even If your friend speaks perfectly Korean, you want to be able to do things on your own. 

- … -

The flight was Long and once you got out of the airport, you only wanted to Sleep. It was around 7am when you arrived. You were pretty tired but being here, in a new city, you felt so inspired and got Ideas for a new song, making you smile.

Amy’s father was the one who came to get you at the airport. Your friend was so happy to see her father and just jumped in his arms, talking in Korean to each other, until she introduced you to his Appa, who means father from what you learned. 

You also were introduced to Hang Min, his Son, who’s Amy Half-brother. You bowed respectfully and tried to introduce yourself In korean. They both smiled, happy to see you tried.

The ride to Amy’s father’s place wasn’t that long, but since they both talked in their language, you used that time to write in your phone some words for the beginning of your next song, well, more for Amy than for You, actually. You hummed the beat, trying to think the words could all fit together, moving your head and shoulder under the sound in your heads.

_You got Ideas  for a New song ? Amy asked _Yeah, I write it on my phone to not lose the words. But I will put it in my notebook once we're gonna be at your father’s place. And after that I'm gonna go to sleep. _As you should, said Hang Min, cause Tonight I will bring you somewhere to celebrate your arrival.  _Is that just a reason to bring your friends and drink ? Asked Amy

Hang Min smiled at his Sister before he answered in Korean. You noticed Amy called him an idiot and smiled. You are not the type who likes to go out and drink but, somehow you feel like tonight could be special. Maybe, for once you could allow yourself again to let yourself go and just enjoy life and trust it again.

The house was bigger than you thought. Amy Step Mom is an actress, so it explains the beautiful house. They even have a Pool.

Once arrived In Amy’s room, you let your stuff in a corner and just let yourself down on the bed, closing, closing your eyes. Sleep came to quickly, you didn’t had time to write your new song idea, but at least you have it in Your phone so it can still wait.

-...-

You woke up around 2 Pm, Amy was already awake and talked With Hang Min in the living room. He said he will bring you both to a special Bar where Kpop artists usually go if they want to have some fun and drink a little. After all, they can’t really go where they want without being chased by paparazzi. Amy didn’t stay in place, happy with the idea of meeting a hot guy who’s also in the entertainment Industry. That’s where Hang Min slowed her down by saying many normal people like all of you can go too. You just need to act cool in front of the artist since most of the ‘’ normal ‘’ people are close to managers or music writers or even, sometimes other artist kids.

You passed the afternoon with Amy to write her a new song for the audition. She asked her dad If you and her could go at YG tomorrow to use the recording studio. He said He will ask his boss and will be back as quick as possible, with the answer. You didn’t feel really inspired with her topic for the song. It was about love, something new, something cute, but you worked hard on the lyrics until she approved it. The love topic is not an easy one for you since your ex. You wrote about him when you broke up, but never showed Amy. You have a lot of songs about your inner feelings that you never showed. It’s like your little secret garden and you don't plan to show it to someone so soon.

_My dad said Yes ! Screamed Amy when she got her reply form her dad, we can go Tomorrow between 11am and 13pm.  _Two hours to record a song and create music ? It’s not enough… _The audition is in three days, we can still ask for the studio again, maybe. _I hope, Otherwise you gonna have to choose an Old song. I will not rush a creation just for An audition.

Amy and You continued to work on the lyrics until it was time to Eat. Hang Min had cooked something you never tried before and It was amazing. After, you jump in a Shower and prepare yourself to go to the bar. You put on a ( F/C ) dress, some jewels, styled your hair and put on some makeup. When you looked at your reflection, you smiled, pretty satisfied. Amy commented on how hot you looked before going into the car.

It was around 10pm when you entered the Bar. It was huge and noisy and of course full of people. Some were at the bar, talking, others were on the dancefloor, dancing. You never heard of the song who’s playing but it had a good beat and it was enjoyable.

_Okey so, open your localisation or your phone. If we lost each other and we followed a guy and he’s a serial killer at least the other gonna knew where we were. And if we just leave with someone, don’t forget to met me at the Studio of YG for 11am. I will text you the adresse. _Do you plan to just hook up with a stranger tonight ? You asked, confused. _Maybe, or at least make out with one and get pretty drunk. But I will not let you alone. We gonna drink a little bite with my brother and his friends, go to the dancefloor and if we notice a hot guy we can just… let ourself go.

You rolled your eyes as an answer, not sure that your friend have the best idea but you didn’t say a thing. Her dad lives in Korea but because of her mom she never came here often. I guess there’s nothing bad about having the time of her life. 

_I just hope you are not gonna fall for a serial killer, you answered as you received the address of YG for tomorrow. _Well, Killers are hot, she said with a smile.

As the evening goes, you met Hang Min’s friend, they were all really nice and welcoming, except one girl who was too much over your best friend’s brother, always calling him ‘’ oppa ‘’ with a cring fake cute voice. She somehow made it clear, she loves Hang Min and seems to see you like a threat or something. 

You can’t remember how much you drank. You just took every shot Amy gave you. You don’t even remember the last time you drank that much and you didn’t really care. If Amy was to get wasted, you will not play the sober friend. For once, you want to let yourself go. You always were so serious those last year, you made jokes with your best friend but since your last breakup, you always felt like you faked everything. You play the girl who doesn't care about anything, who doesn't need a guy, who doesn't need love, but you secretly envy your friend to be able to dream, to hope, to be able to let herself go without caring. Tonight, you want to be like that too and if you regret, well.. you will forget everything once you get home. This trip is a one time shot in your life and you don’t want to waste it. 

Following your friend on the dancefloor, you looked at the floor above you, making eye contact with a guy with colored hair. You noticed he smiled at you and softly waved his hand. You smile back before you turn back your attention on Amy, dancing with her.

The loud music, the alcohol running through your body, you felt frozen in time, dancing like the night will never end, until you finally noticed that your friend wasn’t there anymore. She just disappeared without even warning you.  Rolling your eyes, you decided to let her do what she want and just continue to dance until you felt a hand on your hips and someone telling in your ear.

_Mind if I join you ?

You turned around and smiled when you saw the guy who was on the second floor not that long ago. As an answer you put your arms around his neck, moving your body through the rhyme of the music as he does the same.

_I  had my eyes on you since you entered the bar. You look pretty hot. What’s your name ?  _I’m Y/N  _Nice to meet you, I’m Ji Yong.

You smiled again, not used to this, but the alcohol gave you some courage to do stuff you would never do if you were sober. Maybe because you were too shy ? Or because you have a lack of confidence ? Maybe both.

Still dancing with Ji yong, you quickly noticed he was good at this. Your back was on his chest, his hands on your hips, making you move as the rhythm of the music and you just naturally follow his lead. You could feel his lips brushing the skin of your neck, making your body shiver, eager for more. You hand slid in his hair. You pressed your ass a little bite more against him, still moving. Your cheeks start becoming red when you feel something hard between you and him. You knew exactly what it was and you liked the feeling it gave you, making you move more sensually on him, making Ji yong grip your hips more.

_Maybe we should go somewhere else, princess, he said, in your ear, You 're driving me a little too much crazy to stay here.

You turned around and look at him with a smirk on your face

_Leade the way, you answered.

[peachhcs]

We need a part two to the Emma and Gabe angst nowww

sooo many people asked for a part 2 so here it is!!! my beloveds ❤️❤️ as u can tell they don’t stay “mad” at one another for long and make up almost immediately or at least figure out what the issue is

(also tell me how my inbox went from 77 to 122 HAHA is that telling to how full my inbox has been and how i’m trying to get through requests. thanks for bearing with me 🙏)

(also also this is lowkey short i’m so sorry 😭 for that)

au masterlist | part 1

when emma never called gabe he went to go check on her. it was probably close to 11pm as he gave a gentle knock to her door and hoped she wasn’t asleep already. considering how late she stayed up in the library, gabe knew she couldn’t have been asleep just yet.

the door finally cracked open and he saw her familiar blonde hair peaking through, “gabe?”

“hi,” he smiled.

“what are you doing here?” she grew confused as to why her boyfriend was standing outside of her dorm so late.

“you never called me, so i wanted to make sure you were okay,” the hockey player said and for a moment, emma’s expression softened hearing him say that.

she opened the door wider, “oh. well, i’m okay. sorry, i didn’t call. i got tired. i guess,” which wasn’t a complete lie. emma did get tired once she got back to her room and she just didn’t know if she could make it back outside after the long day. she was also just trying to process everything and the way she was feeling earlier.

“it’s okay. is everything okay?” the taller boy wondered and emma hated how concerned he looked for her. his head was tilted and he stared down at her and fuck, if that look didn’t want to make her just break down right in front of him.

she wasn’t going to do that though because that would be majorly embarrassing.

“yeah, ‘m fine,” the blonde nodded. unfortunately, gabe saw right through her.

“i know you’re lying. i know you didn’t want to get dinner with me for a reason,” he said not mad or anything, but simply just pointing it out. emma bit her bottom lip and struggled to find the right words.

“you know you can talk to me, right? i promise i won’t judge you or think it’a stupid. was it about today? were the guys too much? they can get like that when we watch any type of sport,” gabe rolled his eyes a bit which finally made emma crack a smile.

“no, no. it wasn’t..it’s like..i dunno. you might think it’s stupid..” the girl’s voice became small and embarrassed that she was even feeling this way earlier now that her boyfriend was making her tell him.

“i just told you i wont think it’s stupid. i wanna know what’s wrong,” the dark-haired boy urged. emma’s gaze locked with the ground as she tried finding the right words.

“i guess it was just the whole game just like..i dunno. i didn’t really know what was going on and then like..you all have known samy for years and i haven’t and like..she seems so cool and popular..and like..” her sentences jumbled together into basically nonsense, but gabe somehow still understood.

“wait, wait..do you think i like samy? you know she’s dating will right and they’re like super in love with one another?” gabe asked and emma grew embarrassed for the second time.

“no i know i just..i don’t really know. i told you it was stupid,” she shook her head but gave cupped her face in his hands.

“it’s not stupid, em, i promise. i know it can be weird and scary to get thrown into a friend group so fast like that. i should’ve not done that and i’m sorry. i never meant for you to feel excluded. i just wanted you to meet everyone more and hang out with us,” gabe began softly. “i promise they love you. they’re just really..rambunctious at times and maybe soccer shouldn’t have been the first thing we all did together.”

they shared a laugh.

“as for samy, i like you. you’re the one i’m dating. she’s a longtime best friend of all of us, but her and will are like in love. although, i can see your concerns because we are all pretty close, but i promise, she is just a sister to me. nothing more, ever. you’re the one i asked to help me with my econ homework,” he made her laugh again and emma blushed thinking back to that day in french class that started this whole thing.

“sorry i got all weird. your friends seem really, really cool. i guess i’ve just never had friends that were so close before like that. samy does seem really cool and i hope i can talk to her more,” emma nodded with a small smile.

“hey, don’t apologize. your feelings are valid, okay? i’m always here to talk and help you out. you’ll warm up to everyone the more you hang out with them. plus, we can always start small and then get bigger so it doesn’t overwhelm you as much. they can be a lot all together,” gabe mumbled.

“thanks, p. i did have fun today. you were right about samy being really good,” emma chuckled as she let her boyfriend further into her room so they weren’t in the doorway anymore. he grinned.

“she is amazing and i am glad you came along,” the hockey player kissed her forehead. emma melted into his touch, the anxieties she had earlier slowly melting away the longer she held onto him.

despite it being 11:30, gabe and emma got themselves comfortable in her bed to watch a movie. she snuggled in close to him to listen to his steady heartbeat against his chest to calm her even more. he helped ground her for the night while they lost themselves in the movie and each other.