#i don’t even remember WHEN i first read it

[marauder-misprint]

Ahhh congrats on 200!!! For the prompt list requests could I get a fic with James x fem!reader for #95? I could just see him doing something so mundane like polishing his broom and she’s just drooling over his arms haha

My first James Potter for this account ♥︎ Thank you for the request and I hope you enjoy! (reader is a bit more gn! than fem! but I think it's implied enough?)

Broom Polish

James Potter x reader

1.1k words

cw: fluff

You had half a mind to open the window. The smell of the broom polish must be getting to you, you thought. You can’t stop staring at his arms. The way the muscles flex as he rubs the polish over his broom handle. He’s been at it for at least fifteen minutes and you’ve been unable to look away since he started. The book in your hands is long forgotten.

You and James were just hanging out. You had originally been hanging out with all of the boys, but each left to do something else, leaving you and James. Remus had prefect duties, Peter had study group and Sirius had detention. So you were on the window’s ledge, holding a book but not reading it, and James was on the floor, not too far from you, with his broom, a cloth and the pot of polish.

“You don’t have to stay, if you don’t want to,” James says, still working the polish into his broom’s handle. “They can’t stand the smell of the polish so I have to do this when they aren’t here.”

You swallow thickly. Your eyes flick up to his face and then back to his arms. “I, erm, don’t mind it.” Lies. The smell was enough to make you feel light headed. But maybe it was James’ arms. God, that made you feel pathetic. That you were even considering that idea. 

“Really?” James asks, looking up at you and noticing that you’re staring. “You don’t mind the smell?”

“It’s like how some people don’t mind the smell of petrol,” you say and then immediately remember that James won’t understand that, being pure blood. 

“Uh,” he says, not getting it. 

“Never mind. It’s a muggle thing,” you say quickly and offer him a smile, hoping he just goes back to polishing his broom and you can return to your not-so-discreet staring. 

While James does go back to work, he periodically looks up and sees you staring each time he does. He doesn’t even remember the last time he heard a page turn. It wasn’t like the dorm was loud with just the two of you. He should’ve heard pages turning. 

“Are you watching me?” he asks with a smirk.

“What? N-no. I’m not watching you.”

“Yes, you are.” The smirk widens into a grin. “You’re watching me.”

“I am not watching you,” you say more firmly.

“Is this really turning you on? I’m not doing anything.”

“Who said I was turned on?” You feel your face begin to heat.

“You did, when you denied watching me.”

“I-I am not…” He gives you an amused look. “Okay, fine. A bit. It’s not my fault you got nice arms.”

He sets down his broom and polish and looks down at his arms, as if trying to see what you meant. He flexes, relaxes and flexes again.

“Hmm, I suppose I do.” He looks at you again, the widest grin you’ve ever seen adorning his face. “You like my arms,” he says teasingly.

“I appreciate what Quidditch has done for them.”

“You like my arms.”

“Shut up, James.” Your blush is growing slightly as he doesn’t drop.

“But it only begs another question.”

You cross your arms and lean backwards. “What?”

“Do you like more than my arms?”

“Wha-what?” you stutter. 

“Do you like more than my arms?” he repeats. “Or, do you like more? Of me.”

You’re blushing furiously. “James, I-”

You’re cut off by him moving closer to you. You feel your breath hitch with him so close to you. 

“Do you?” he breathes. 

“I-”

He keeps moving closer. At this point, his face is only a few inches away from yours. You can smell his cologne, it finally breaking through the thick scent of polish. You could see the tiny flecks of gold and brown in his hazel eyes. You felt an urge to run your hand through his mess of hair, to move it away from his face. You don’t dare move though. 

“Do you like me?” he asks, sounding more serious this time, almost vulnerable and curious. “Do you like me as more than a friend?”

You’re having a hard enough time breathing that the thought of answering his questions is forgotten. Not that he had let you answer his last few questions. You try to take a deep breath. You can taste the broom polish in the air; it probably doesn’t help that it’s all over James’ hands and some of his clothes. 

“James, I-”

“Well, darling, do-” 

You muffle his voice with your hand over his mouth. 

“Would you let me answer?” you nearly snap.

He nods. He lets you keep your hand over his mouth, not attempting to lick or bite you as he might’ve if you had done this at any other time. You take another deep breath; your heart is pounding in your chest. You know your answer. Now that you have him quiet though, you’re having trouble getting the actual words out.

You’re not sure when it happened. When all the platonic touches didn’t feel so friendly. When you swore the stolen glances began to linger longer. When you started to feel your face soften when you looked at him. When you started to treasure the alone time you had with him more. When you started to wish that he would see you as more than a friend, because that’s how you were seeing me. 

“I do,” you whisper. Panic takes over your heart. “Like more than your arms.”

You feel him smile under your hand, which he slowly reaches up to remove. 

“Do you like me?” he asks, his voice just as quiet and sincere as yours.

You can’t lie to him now.

“Yes.”

“Oh thank Merlin.”

Your eyes are wide in surprise at his response. You weren’t expecting that. And you weren’t expecting him to lean forward just enough so your lips touched. It’s the gentlest of kisses, tainted only by the stench of broom polish. Maybe those stolen glances and lingering touches hadn’t been as one-sided as you had tried to convince yourself. 

When James pulls back, he’s smiling just as widely as before, but there’s something different. Maybe a more content look? More satisfied? More happy? You’re not entirely sure what your own face is doing as a reaction as you’re too focused on trying to read his. 

“Feel free to stare at my arms all you want, sweetheart,” he says smoothly. “As long as I can kiss you all I want.”

You nod, a smile coming to your face. 

“Please,” you say encouragingly.

Then you lean in and kiss him. It’s a bit more forceful than when he kissed you, but you know it’s welcomed. And you know that you’ll be getting more time alone with James in the near future. 

[d3vdgvrlll]

trauma ig

@gorelvr and anyone else who wanted it

i’ll start from the begining because it’s the one thing that will make my story similar to others. it will have a begining and an end just like anyone else’s. i have been sexually abused since i was seven years old. my cousin joe (obv not his real name i was in israel at the time) he was considerably older than me. 13, not too bad, but at the time it felt like a worlds difference. it didn’t start slowly, not at all, and pieces of it i don’t even remember. i do remember closets tho. it wasn’t just an rape either. he wanted me to like it- either that or he was just sadistic. he would make me smile and beg for it, make me please him as a lover, told me it was right since i was his blood. in fact, he would draw this blood quite often. he would pinch me, beat me, cut me, anything to make me cry, because he had a rule. if i cried, he could come back to use me again. he would do anything to draw out a mere sound of discomfort, anything, any excuse so that he could come into my room at night and violate me. he called me his wife. he called me his girl. and in my native tongue i had to tell him i loved him as well. when i was 9, after two years of this, with no one believing me (and if you ask how it’s possible, youve clearly never heard of arabic jewish culture-) i move to america. i lived in chicago, and suddenly, i was a normal girl. sure, i couldn’t speak english but i was clean. no longer dirty. i was far away from joe and i thought maybe id be far from the pain too. i was far from the bombs that rang in my ears as i walked home, the desolate shelters littered around playgrounds, the constant whisper of “you are never safe” far behind me. i was ahead of everyone else, and when i heard that another one of my childhood friends died of an attack, it didn’t feel better, but at least it wasn’t me. at least it wasn’t me.

this is where i met a friend named lucie. she was the first female friend id ever had. my wonderful grandma, who was like a second mother to me (at the time when she was alive my mother was still kind, the lines on her face less pronounced, her words filled with less poison) signed me up for swimming classes with lucie. after swimming class, me and lucie would shower together. it’s started off because i had conditioner that she needed for her blond hair, conditioner that i was willing to give up to her because she was so much whiter than me, so much purer. she then asked me for favors. to touch her. she’s press me against the wall and kiss me, and when i resisted, she wouldn’t even react. she asked me for more. she said “if you do it well this time, you won’t have to do it again.” and “kiss me for longer this time, you only did two seconds, you promised ten” and each request, no matter how hard it was for me to do, was done. and each time, there came another. no matter how much she promised it’d be the last one, there was always more. i couldn’t get away from it. i was trapped. i was scared, and i wanted her to be my friend. she taught me that if u don’t give people ur body, they won’t stay. she taught me that im worthless besides what i can offer to others. she taught me everything i know and live by, and then she left anyways .

seventh grade- i had a very nice science teacher. i was doing very well in his class. his name i really cannot say because he is still teaching at the school in illinois, and no one has believed me, no matter what i insist happened. we were doing a bridge project. i was failing, because my grandma was dying. she was dying, and she was my everything. watching her- it was the hardest thing i’d ever done. but i couldn’t avert my eyes because it felt sinful. it felt wrong to look away because it was hard to watch- she was my grandma after all, the one who raised me, loved me, showed me the good in the world. so i watched. i watched and stayed with her and read her books she couldn’t hear me reciting while she lay in her hospice bed barely breathing. i wrote down the stories she told me through her tubes, and i tried to imagine that the wires connected to her were flowers instead, that she was somewhere were her grimace was rlly a smile. she stayed alive until my birthday, my 12th birthday, because she didn’t want to ruin it. she stayed alive, in pain, riddled with so much terror, to see me turn 12. one day, i walked into her room and spoke to her, and watching her eyes try to open, her oxygen intake spike up, her stiff limbs try to reach me- it killed me. i love her and always will. it feels awful to group her with this awful man- my science teacher, but in this story they do go together, unlike in real life where my grandma was such a big and powerful woman she always stood alone. or with me. i digress, the man- let’s call him Mr.P- he failed me. i was excelling- frankly, because im very smart and quite good with physics and such, but he still failed me. (shortly after this whole ordeal i was neurologically tested and i have an IQ of 156). i walked into his class one day, and all i can remember is him smiling, saying that he would give me an oppurtunity for extra credit, but that it had to be secret- you can tell where this is going. i had already learned from lucie that nothing is good abt me besides my body, and so when he took mine, the second person to- i could just sit and cry. at least this man let me cry- at least this one didn’t kill my hair to get a reaction, with the promise of hurting me more the less i liked it. i don’t remember much besides my face being pressed against vents on the side of the classroom. i would “wake up” (ptsd) with blood between my thighs, and cuts on my face from the metal on the vents, because of how hard he shoved my face in them. he had a daughter- she was 6 at the time. when i graduated, he told me he’d do the same to her. that was the first time i cut myself. because i knew i couldn’t stop him. i knew that i couldn’t do anything. i knew that what lucid taught me was wrong. my body wasn’t even special- it wasn’t even “worth it”, it was just available.

i moved all over the US, living in austin, chicago, colorado, and florida for the longest times. chicago was my home though, and i know the city like the back of my hand. this is not something many people can say, but i survived being homeless in chicago during the polar vortex. for those who don’t know, the polar vortex is a phenomena that happens every year. winds from the arctic pass through canada and end up in the midwest, chilling the air to roughly -58 degrees F or lower. after my grandma died, my mother became mean. angry. she scared me. she hit me. it’s too much to get into and frankly, i live with her and my dad now and i feel odd talking abt it. it’s my current reality as well, but what i learned from them is that words mean nothing. so i wont spend them here. after a week of being homeless and running to and from school, living in an underpass, someone started walking “home” with me. his name was pat. this is the man i often reference in posts. he was my best friend, not at this time tho. we walked home together for weeks, not speaking a word to each other, until one day i caught an awful case of pneumonia, the second time id fallen ill with it in the month. this time, i couldn’t walk, stand, breathe, or talk. i was passed out when he found me, at least that’s what he told me. he said he carried me to his friends house and that’s were they saved me. his friends name was biscuit, and biscuit ended up being a huge drug dealer. he kept me in his attic- it had a hole in the roof but it was better than dying in the cold. i had already lost my left foot to frostbite- i still can’t feel it but i can walk on it now, which is better than before. in the attic, and idk much abt it because rlly the memory is so hazy- sometimes i wake up in a cold sweat bc im back there, and sometimes idk if im dreaming or if its real- but rlly truly i dont know for sure what happened. all i know is that biscuit used to bring his friends up there, while i was healing (they put tons of drugs in me idek what they used to help me get better but im pretty sure it was a combo of depressants and steroids)- they would pass me around. i just get hazes- visions sort of. i dont even remember. i remeber the feeling of their hands tho, and suddenly feeling a lot colder, feeling the wind on my bare skin. i remember waking up with wind rash and scabs from cigarette burns. i don’t remeber enough o accuse anyone of anything though, so i didn’t mention it to pat. in my head, he didn’t even know. i was wrong ofcourse- he knew. he always knew.

when we got better and went back to our respective homes, we stayed very close. we formed a trauma bond. codependcy. it was wonderful while it lasted, but soon, he started to fall for me. he never raped me, but he did other things. i don’t care to specify at the moment because i fear ive already gone into prolific detail about things i never wanted to think about again. truthfully, i love pat. i do. i hold no hatred towards him, and i really don’t like to talk about all the bad things he did to me, because he was my sweet boy. i never loved him like that- he was just my best friend, but when i speak about him people don’t seem to understand. he understood me, and it’s just. hard to talk about because there’s so much to say. i can’t write it all down in this small part of a bigger story because i have so much to say about him that i’d rather just give it out in pieces. if you see something tagged with #pat or #i miss him, it’s probably about him.

idk what else to say. i’ve been manipulated many times since. used, beat, thrown away. at least pat had the decency to lie to me about it while he did. i’ve never been anyone’s first choice, and i’ve never felt as loved as i did when i had him. he was my best friend, and while this story isn’t about him, it’s hardly about me either. long story short, people used me because they could. i was available. i was around. i used to feel like a victim until i realized im just not special enough to be that. im not special enough to be anything to anyone, and my body wasn’t even “chosen” to be used because its me, it was just convenience. idk. that’s as much as im willing to share. there’s more but - for now this is enough.

[betweenstorms]

Hi hello, hope you're having a good day Stormy! Your writing is always so good sjdjsjd always makes my day when I have the chance to read em! Not sure if you take requests, so if you don't, you can always ignore this! But I have a pretty interesting prompt that might pique your interest 👀

We all know Simon doesn't show emotions easily, usually the people very close to him will spot out the minute details that give away how he's feeling. Small twitch of the lips, tense of shoulders, that kind of thing. But how about reader who is slightly different, in that they also don't show emotion that well, but it's because they forget to? Sounds confusing I know, but for me I forget my mouth exists and constantly forget to smile at people when greeting them. So for reader, the only way others know how they're feeling is with the tone of their voice.

Hope that isn't too confusing to understand! It's a very weird thing I have, and have not encountered anyone else who share this lmao

Anywayyy have a great rest of your day, and remember to hydrate and eat something! 🖤

- Biscuits 🌺

Hi Biscuits! 🌺 First of all, thank you so much for your kind words! I’m so sorry it took me this long to reply, but I’m excited to let you know that my interpretation of your idea is finally here! I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed exploring such a unique and fascinating prompt. I hope you’re having a wonderful day, and don’t forget to hydrate and eat something too! Thank you again for trusting me with your idea. 🖤

You didn’t need to look up to know the weather outside was a dreary shade of grey.

Strangely, it was always just grey here. Overcast skies that seemed to stretch endlessly over the joint military base somewhere in Germany, as though nature itself had resigned to a dull monotony. Not that it bothered you. Weather, much like people, had a way of projecting its moods that you’d long stopped trying to interpret. Clouds could loom ominously, sunlight could break free in radiant streaks, but it all felt the same to you.

Emotions were like that too.

Amorphous, indistinct, slipping through your grasp when you tried to name them. For as long as you could remember, you’d lacked the innate ability most people seemed to have, the quick flick of recognition when faced with a scowl, a smile, or a furrowed brow. You saw the movements of mouths and brows but couldn’t place what they were supposed to mean.

To you, the dance of expressions was no more than a series of movements, the subtle lift of lips or tilt of a head stripped of the weight they were meant to carry. And so, your own face reflected the only truth you understood. Your own face usually mirrored the neutrality of the weather, a blank slate that rarely shifted unless you consciously willed it to.

Price and Gaz were out on a recon mission, leaving Soap, Ghost and you on the foreign base. With no immediate orders other than to wait for their return, the three of you had the rare luxury of downtime. However, despite this, none of you strayed from your usual discipline. The day began at dawn, as always, with the shooting range, gym sessions, or reviewing intel as needed. The quiet efficiency of your routines spoke volumes about the kind of people you all were, professionals through and through. There were no shortcuts at this level, no slacking off. You were the best of the best after all.

Each of you carried that mantle in your own way.

Soap’s energy crackled like a live wire, his easy laughter and constant chatter an antidote to the grim seriousness of your world. Ghost, by contrast, was the anchor—silent, steadfast, a figure carved from stone. And you? You found yourself somewhere between them, detached yet watchful, a quiet observer tethered by a relentless need to prove yourself.

You liked working with Ghost in a way that was difficult to articulate, even to yourself. There was no camaraderie in the traditional sense, no banter or easy companionship, but strangely, there was something deeper, something unspoken.

Your lieutenant moved through the world with the same deliberate calm that you valued in yourself, his every action sharpened by precision and purpose. You respected him for that, his unrelenting dedication, the quiet strength he carried like a shield, and the way his presence seemed to command gravity itself, pulling the air taut whenever he entered a room. And somehow, Ghost felt like a reflection, as though the world had cut both of you from the same cloth. He, too, was a figure cloaked in neutrality, his mask hiding not just his face but the emotions that might lie beneath.

Even with the lull in operations, you didn’t take the task force’s trust for granted. You had fought hard to earn your place here, shedding blood and sweat to prove yourself to Price and the rest of the team. The task force was a strange paradox—these were people you trusted implicitly with your life, but you knew almost nothing about them on a personal level. That was just how things worked. Bonds forged in war zones didn’t require knowledge of favorite foods or childhood dreams. Still, you couldn’t deny a small, nagging curiosity about the men you worked with—especially Soap and Ghost.

Both were enigmas in their own ways.

Soap, all charm and humor, seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve, yet you suspected there was more to him beneath the surface. Ghost, on the other hand, was a locked vault, his emotions buried under layers of stoicism and a mask that seemed to shield more than his face. 

You had been with the task force for four months now.

It had been an honor to receive Price’s invitation, and though you felt pride in your accomplishments, showing it outwardly had always been a challenge. Ever since childhood, you’d struggled with recognizing and expressing emotions.

Your family had always been understanding, brushing it off as an eccentric quirk, and you’d never sought a formal diagnosis. It wasn’t that you didn’t feel, far from it. You just didn’t show it in the usual ways. Smiling, frowning, or even appearing annoyed often felt like trying to mimic a foreign language without understanding the grammar.

As a child, you were always the odd one, the kid who stared too long, too intently, when other children laughed and cried. Your parents, to their credit, were patient. Your mother, warm and pragmatic, would gently remind you to smile when greeting your grandmother or reassure you when a relative’s frown went unnoticed. “They’re not cross, love,” she’d say, her hands light on your shoulders. “Just thinking. You’re fine.”

But the world wasn’t as kind as your family.

As you grew, the peculiarities of your face invited suspicion, sometimes ridicule. “Why don’t you ever smile?” teachers would ask, their tone suggesting you were withholding something from them, as though joy was a currency you refused to spend. Friends, when you had them, would mistake your silence for coldness, your neutrality for indifference. By the time you reached your teens, you’d grown used to the questions and assumptions, building an armor of pragmatism around yourself. What was the point in trying to explain something you didn’t fully understand?

Somehow, your body simply forgot the script.

You forgot to move your lips when greeting a loved one, forgot to furrow your brows when confusion took hold, forgot to cry when sadness settled heavy in your chest. It wasn’t that you didn’t feel. Feelings bloomed and churned within you like storms on a distant horizon, but they never found their way to the surface. You were a house with locked shutters, and though the light was on inside, it rarely spilled out to illuminate the exterior.

Oddly enough, this trait had become an asset in your line of work.

Pragmatic, objective, and unshaken by emotion, you excelled in high-pressure environments. It was this armor that had served you so well in the military and later in the SAS. Neutrality was an asset here—a foundation upon which precision, discipline, and logic could thrive. Emotions muddied decisions, and in your line of work, clarity was king. When the invitation to join Task Force 141 had come, you’d accepted with quiet pride, though you’d made no effort to show it. Your calm, measured responses made you reliable and efficient, qualities that had undoubtedly caught Price’s attention.

But outside of missions, it created a distance between you and the rest of the team. Building camaraderie required a kind of emotional fluency you didn’t naturally possess, and though you didn’t dwell on it much, it sometimes left you feeling a little isolated.

Four months in, you’d cemented your place among the team.

They trusted you on the battlefield, and that was enough. Personal bonds were optional here, weren’t they? You’d told yourself that many times, but the truth was harder to swallow, trust in war didn’t translate to understanding in peace. Soap’s boisterous banter, Gaz’s easy charm, and Ghost’s impassive stares all existed in a language you couldn’t quite speak.

This morning, however, was different.

Breakfast was normally a solitary affair, a brief respite from the day’s structured chaos. But today, Soap and Ghost had joined you in the mess hall, their presence sat heavy at your periphery. You sat across from them, meticulously working through your meal while Soap tapped his fingers on the table in a rhythm that suggested trouble. Neither of them was eating, and their idle presence felt vaguely unsettling.

It didn’t take long for your suspicion to be confirmed.

“Y’know,” Soap began, his voice lilting with mischief. “Been meanin’ to ask you somethin’, lass. How’s it possible to sit there, day in, day out, with a face that doesn't move? Like a bloody mannequin, you are.”

You raised a brow, a slight, subtle motion that could have meant anything, but didn’t stop eating. Soap took this as an invitation to continue.

“You don’t smile,” he declared, as though it were a groundbreaking revelation. “Or frown. Or even twitch your face half the time. How d’you do that, eh? Are you secretly a robot?”

“I’m not a robot,” you replied, your tone flat but perfectly even.

He leaned back, shaking his head with mock disbelief. “Could’ve fooled me. You’re like a statue, don’t even look annoyed when I’m talkin’ shite at you. Bet you couldn’t make a face to save your life.”

You paused, setting down your fork with deliberate precision.

“I can make faces,” you said coolly.

“Aye, then let’s have a wee go at it. Give us a smile, eh?” Soap’s lopsided grin widened, and he glanced at Ghost, who remained silent but was now clearly paying attention, his hazel eyes flicking toward you. You blinked at them, debating whether it was worth the effort to argue.

Instead, you attempted to comply.

The corners of your mouth lifted in what might have passed for a smile if not for the stiffness in the gesture. It felt awkward, like wearing someone else’s skin.

Soap slapped the table, his laugh booming across the hall. “Creepin’ Jesus, that’s tragic! Like watchin’ a bairn try to wink for the first time.”

“Better than watchin’ you try to think,” Ghost deadpanned, not missing a beat.

Undeterred, Soap straightened up. “All right, fine. Forget smilin’. Show us angry.”

You weren’t bothered by Soap’s teasing, not at all.

Sarcasm and banter weren’t your battlefield, and you didn’t need to win these small wars of wit. If anything, you found his energy oddly endearing, a welcome distraction in the quiet monotony of downtime. So you furrowed your brow and narrowed your eyes slightly, aiming for something approximating irritation. Soap burst into another peal of laughter, throwing his head back and letting it roll out uninhibited.

“Honestly, you’re hopeless,” he howled, tears of laughter glistening in his eyes.

Ghost sighed, setting his tablet down with deliberate care.

“Enough, Johnny.”

Soap held up his hands in mock surrender, his grin lingering like a spark refusing to fade, but your attention had already wandered, your gaze tracing their movements like studying a map of familiar terrain. Soap’s restless energy hummed, his gestures loose and unrestrained, a stark contrast to Ghost’s deliberate stillness, every shift of his body a calculation.

And then his hazel eyes met yours—sharp, unflinching, and so steady it rooted you in place. There was no hostility, no question, only a quiet intensity that made your pulse stutter, a strange, warm stirring low in your stomach that you didn’t dare acknowledge. His gaze held you captive for a beat too long, the air around you heavy, before he turned away, leaving behind a weight you didn’t fully understand but couldn’t quite shake.

“Doesn’t matter,” he said, his voice lower now, more measured. “Faces lie. It’s your voice that tells the truth.”

You blinked. “My voice?”

Ghost nodded, leaning back slightly. “You can hear it. If you listen proper. More honest than any forced smile could ever be.”

For a moment, you didn’t know what to say.

Compliments, if that’s what this was, were scarce in your world, as rare as sunlight piercing through storm clouds. From Ghost, they were practically unheard of. Yet his words lingered, carrying a weight that pressed gently against the walls of your chest. A quiet warmth began to unfurl there, blooming softly like a flame coaxed from dying embers, a mixture of gratitude and something unnamed, something that settled in the hollow spaces you hadn’t realized were waiting to be filled.

Soap, visibly startled by the uncharacteristic remark, stared at Ghost as though he’d grown a second head. “Bloody hell, Lt.,” he muttered. “Didn’t know ye had a poetic streak.”

Your lieutenant paid him no mind, his focus already returning to the tablet in his hands, as if the moment had never existed. But you remained still, the weight of his words draping over you like a thick, unshakable cloak. Honest. The word lingered, unfamiliar yet strangely resonant, threading itself into the quiet spaces of your thoughts, where it settled with unexpected ease. Soap broke the moment with a playful nudge to your shoulder.

“Still, you could do with learnin’ a proper smile, eh? Just in case.”

Your eyes rolled, an instinctive motion this time, unbidden but oddly fitting. Soap’s laughter rippled through the room, bright and careless, but it barely registered, a distant echo against the steady hum of your thoughts. Ghost’s words lingered, heavy with meaning, a rare compliment that pressed itself into the quiet corners of your mind with a significance that eclipsed anything you’d ever known. Perhaps, you mused, letting the warmth of the moment settle over you, it wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

Maybe that was something you could finally understand.

[fool-tarnished]

"Remember me" - Chapter 1 - Kakashi Hatake x Reader

Synopsis : Born in Konoha, [Y/N] wasn't necessarily known as the most impressive or powerful ninja, but rather for her kindness and compassion. She became like an older sister to Naruto and a loyal, faithful friend to many ninjas in Konoha. Without even realizing it, she had earned a special place in the heart of one particular ninja with grey hair. But everything changed the day the Third Hokage entrusted her with a mission from which she would not return unscathed. Pairing : Kakashi Hatake x Reader If you want to read Yamato's version, you can find it here.

Warnings : Violence, memory loss

Inspiration : Remember me - d4vd

Words : ~ 3000 A/N : Hello there ! Here's the first chapter of a new story for Kakashi. There'll be many chapters (i don't know how many yet) and i'll do the same one for Tenzo/Yamato if some are interested (with a similar first chapter, but the rest won't be the same). So I hope you'll like it ! Thank you all for the likes and reblog ! And sorry for the mistakes, I'm not a native english speaker.

_________________________________

Long before Naruto left with Jiraiya, the Third Hokage entrusted you with a mission. A mission that, of course, you wouldn’t undertake alone, but whose duration was impossible to predict. A mission that wasn’t supposed to be particularly dangerous either, but it still worried the young ninja, who had asked you to decline it and stay in Konoha.

You and Naruto had known each other for a few years now, and a sort of sibling-like relationship had formed between you. You didn’t necessarily show it, but you cared for each other as if you were almost family. The young blonde deeply appreciated having someone by his side he could consider an older sister: because yes, you were much closer in age to his famous sensei Kakashi than to him.

On the day of your departure, Naruto couldn’t help but ask you to promise that you’d go to Ichiraku together upon your return. That you’d promise to come back as soon as possible and, of course, without a scratch. A promise you made without hesitation and one you hoped to keep.

Kakashi, on his end, with whom you had built a connection during your time in the Special Forces, also came to say a few words before you left. Your relationship with the Copy Ninja was quite peculiar. You were close yet distant, making it complex between the two of you and in the eyes of others. You had never really put words to what it meant, and it hadn’t seemed to bother either of you.

At least, until things began to change for you. You were afraid of not returning, not just for Naruto’s sake but also for Kakashi’s. Yet, the fear was drastically different for each, which led you to question how your relationship with him had evolved. The feelings you experienced at the thought of leaving without knowing when you’d return and see him again weren’t the same as those you had for your other friends—Kurenai, Iruka, or Asuma. Something had shifted within you, and you hadn’t had time to reflect on it before being assigned this new mission.

"Be careful, [Y/N]. You wouldn’t want to miss the promise you made to Naruto. And don’t forget, you also owe me a replacement for that Icha Icha volume you ruined during our last training session," the grey-haired ninja said, with a smile you could easily discern beneath his mask. You left with your team, giving them one last look and a wave. Kakashi didn’t take his eyes off you until you were out of sight. ________________________________________

Crossing the Land of Wind had proven to be more arduous than expected. Whether due to the weather, unfortunate encounters, or other unforeseen events, it took you several weeks to reach its far edge. The team leader was the only one privy to the mission's details, and your task was to ensure their safe passage and protection. After finding the messenger, you set out again, this time for the Land of Earth. It was a particularly lengthy mission, but it seemed to be of critical importance to the Third Hokage, who had strongly emphasized its success at any cost. As for the contents of these messages? None of you had the slightest clue.

The journey through the various lands and the delivery of these messages ultimately took several months. You hadn’t faced any overwhelming challenges—just minor injuries, small delays, but nothing insurmountable. Nevertheless, the desire to return home grew stronger with each passing day. Every team member began to feel the absence of their loved ones, some even missing their children. As for you, you missed Naruto’s antics, the humor of your friends, and… the Copy Ninja, but for reasons that had become much harder to define.

It was during the final leg of your journey that these new feelings surfaced most clearly.

In the Land of Lightning, things took a turn for the worse. While crossing the vast expanse of rocks and mountains at night, you encountered a group of ninjas whose origins and true intentions you couldn’t discern. Everything happened far too quickly for you to fully grasp what was going on. A confrontation broke out, and the team leader made the decision to prioritize delivering the message, splitting the group in two.

This left you with just one teammate to try to hold off the enemies and buy time for the other two to escape.

The opponents didn’t seem particularly strong, but fighting at night clearly put you at a disadvantage. Fatigue began to take its toll, likely contributing to the event that would change everything for you.

As you saw several shurikens speeding toward your teammate, you decided to deflect them with your kunai to prevent him from being injured while fighting one of the attackers. What you failed to notice, however, was the unstable ground beneath your feet. Perhaps it was a combination of exhaustion, an unstable surface, and a strike from one of the enemies that caused you to begin a long fall from the rock where you had been standing. Without fully understanding what was happening, you desperately tried to grab hold of something—but it was futile. Your head struck a rock, and everything suddenly went black.

________________________________________

After spending more than a year and a half on the mission and successfully completing it, the team leader and the member who had accompanied them set out to search for the two ninjas they had left behind in the Land of Lightning.

It didn’t take them long to find their first comrade, who had been taken in by the Hidden Cloud Village, where they were treated and waiting for the team’s return. As for you, however, the story was different.

They found no trace of you—only your headband, which did little to encourage their search given its poor condition. They spent several weeks in Kumo, hoping to uncover information or even the faintest clue about your status or whereabouts, but their efforts turned up nothing.

Eventually, they returned to Konoha, disheartened, but determined to deliver their report to the Hokage and hand over your headband. Yet, much had changed since their departure. ________________________________________

"The mission is complete, Lady Hokage. All the messages have been delivered."

Tsunade carefully observed the ninjas standing before her.

"However, we couldn’t find [Y/N]. Only her headband was recovered. We don’t know if she’s dead or missing."

After uttering these words, the ninja lowered their head and placed the headband on the Hokage’s desk. Tsunade furrowed her brow slightly before picking up the object and examining it closely.

"Tell me everything about this mission," she said, her gaze still fixed on the damaged headband.

________________________________________

"We’ll probably run out of firewood tonight. I’ll go fetch some."

The elderly woman standing beside you gave a faint smile and nodded. She was preparing one of her famous soups, a recipe you now knew by heart. Its aroma always brought you comfort, especially in the winter.

Dressing warmly to head outside, you opened the door and carefully closed it behind you, letting out a sigh. The cold was so biting that you hurried to gather the wood and return inside. It was a ritual you had carried out every winter for the past two years, and to you, it felt as though you had never known anything else. In truth, you weren’t even sure if you had known anything else.

Everything was hazy—you remembered nothing beyond these moments spent in the little house nestled deep in the forest. How had you ended up there? Where had you come from? Why did it seem as though you couldn’t recall anything from before this home?

Poor Yubaba didn’t seem to know any more than you did. She would simply tell you that you asked too many questions whenever you embarked on this inner quest about your past. She’d say that everything would come back to you one day, but for now, your mind and body needed rest.

And you didn’t understand those words either. Why would you need rest? Was it tied to the headaches you frequently experienced?

Taking a deep breath, you firmly grasped the bundle of wood before stepping back inside the house. You placed it in front of the large fireplace that illuminated the modest living room where the old woman spent most of her time.

"This should be enough for tonight. But I’ll have to chop more for tomorrow," you said.

She turned to you gently, lifting the large pot and carrying it over to the table.

"Take off that heavy coat, Fubuki, and come warm yourself up and eat. It’ll do you good. Don’t forget your tea—it’ll help with your pain."

Nodding, you finally shed your warm layers, returning to your usual attire, and sat down at the table. Fubuki. It sounded strange, almost like it wasn’t real. Like everything around you.

And yet, how could you truly question the only things you knew when the rest of your existence was nothing but a massive void?

"Thank you for the meal, Yubaba," you said softly.

________________________________________

"So, how did the training go? Did it pay off?" Tsunade asked, seated at her desk.

"You really think we’d have come back if we hadn’t made any progress?" Jiraiya retorted, hands on his hips.

"We’ll see about that," she shot back, before Naruto jumped in with questions.

Kakashi was outside, seated near the window. Book in hand, he was quietly listening to the conversation inside. Naruto was back, and while the Copy Ninja was glad to see his student again, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of unease at the possibility of a certain topic coming up.

Tsunade had informed him months earlier that your team had returned from its mission. While Kakashi hadn’t shown it openly, he had been eager to see you again. The unpleasant news of your absence had shaken him more than he let on. Something deep inside him had stung sharply when the Hokage mentioned your damaged headband, accompanied by a lack of any additional clues—no body, no clear information about your fate.

He had stayed silent, though his face betrayed more than he intended. The Hokage hadn’t known what else to say and had simply expressed hope: the absence of a body might mean you were still alive, somewhere. And that one day, you might find your way back to Konoha.

Kakashi hadn’t responded. Instead, he abruptly changed the subject, redirecting the conversation to Naruto’s return and what lay ahead. The abruptness of his shift had startled Tsunade, but she didn’t push him further. She could tell he had emotionally shut himself off, erecting a barrier around him that might take time to dismantle. While she had tried to offer hope for your return, even she was unsure if there was anything left to hope for after so much time had passed.

"Well, Naruto, you’ve certainly grown," the silver-haired ninja remarked as Naruto leaned through the window, looking for him.

"And you haven’t changed a bit!" Naruto shot back.

With that, Naruto vaulted through the window. Reaching into his jacket, he pulled out a copy of the book that always seemed to brighten his sensei’s day.

"I’ve got a present for you, Kakashi-sensei!"

Shaking with surprise and joy, Kakashi accepted the book from his student under the watchful eyes of Sakura, Tsunade, and Jiraiya.

"By the way, do you know where I can find [Y/N]? It’s been so long! I’ve got a gift for her too!"

Kakashi’s gaze froze on the book in his hands. He took a moment to compose himself, considering how to respond.

Sensing that the conversation might take an unpleasant turn, Tsunade stepped in.

"She’s on a mission. She’ll be back soon, Naruto. For now, I believe you have plans with Kakashi."

Kakashi let out a soft sigh, closing his eyes briefly.

"I’ll be waiting for you at Training Ground 3. See you later," he said before disappearing.

Naruto turned to the Hokage, stepping back into the room with a questioning look.

"Do you know exactly when she’ll be back? She promised me ramen at Ichiraku!"

"Maybe we should head to the training ground, don’t you think, Naruto? You’ll see her when she gets back," Sakura chimed in with a soft smile, trying to steer him away from further questions.

"Fine, I guess. Anyway, Kakashi-sensei is probably already devouring his book—did you see his face?!"

________________________________________

After the young ninjas left the room, Jiraiya stepped closer to Tsunade. "Was she killed on the mission?" he asked bluntly.

"We don’t know yet. But I’m not sure it would be good for Naruto to know about the situation right now, especially since he’s just come back. Let him settle in first."

"I’m not so sure he’ll appreciate you keeping this from him. I only saw her briefly before leaving with Naruto, but he cares about her deeply."

"He’s not the only one. But I don’t think he’s ready to hear the truth just yet."

Jiraiya sighed and lowered his gaze. Glancing outside for a brief moment, he turned his attention back to the Hokage.

"The Anbu will eventually find her—or figure out what happened to her," Tsunade said firmly.

The ninja let out a small sound of surprise before smiling. "I see. You haven’t given up. Who knows about this?"

"No one, aside from the Anbu team assigned to the search. It’s better that way."

"And Kakashi?"

A brief silence hung in the air before she replied. "Kakashi doesn’t know either."

________________________________________

Months had passed, and Yubaba’s health had continued to deteriorate. The herbal treatments she made herself no longer seemed to be enough, and no matter what, she refused to see a doctor or go to a village to seek treatment. Despite your attempts to convince her to go to Kumo, she stubbornly insisted that it was pointless and that it would pass on its own. The day she could no longer even get out of bed, you decided, despite her protests, to take her to the Kumo hospital in one last hope of helping her.

________________________________________

After long hours of walking, you had finally arrived at the Hidden Cloud Village. Thanks to some passersby, you were able to get the old woman to a safe place so she could receive care. The doctors informed you that it would take some time, and that it was best for you to return in a few hours while they did what was necessary. This is how you found yourself wandering through the village, exploring the area as if you had never seen anything like it. It was pleasant to walk around in a place with other faces besides Yubaba's, to discover new places outside of the forest you knew by heart. But the noise of the passersby gave you a headache, and you would sometimes grit your teeth when sudden bursts of pain hit you. After a few hours of wandering, you made your way towards the hospital. Night was beginning to fall, and there were fewer and fewer people outside. The small street you were walking through was particularly quiet and empty, which reminded you of the calm of Yubaba's little house. But this calm only lasted for a brief moment. “[Y/N]?” The name you heard seemed to resonate inside you, but you didn't stop walking, simply furrowing your brows slightly. Your progress was halted when two figures suddenly dropped down from the rooftops and positioned themselves in front of you. Ninja uniforms, definitely, with a mask on each face. Exactly the same outfit. You stopped dead in your tracks, opening your mouth slightly as if to protest, before turning your head to see if you could retrace your steps. But two other figures had just landed as well, blocking your way. “I don’t know what you want from me, but I have nothing on me,” you said, your gaze filled with concern as you slowly raised your hands in front of you. The two figures facing you exchanged a glance before looking back at you. “You don’t recognize us, [Y/N]?” one of them asked. You couldn’t even identify who had asked the question, as fear was starting to rise within you. “You must be mistaken... I’m not [Y/N]...” “We’ve been searching for you for months.” “I... Why? I’m just here to care for the woman I live with. I don’t know what you want, but I don’t know you.” One of the two ninjas facing you leaned toward his colleague to whisper a few words before turning back to you. “Did you desert? And Naruto?” The headache was intensifying, and emotions were surging inside you, though you didn’t really understand why. “I... I don’t understand... What are you...?” Your vision was starting to darken, and breathing became more and more difficult. You began to feel an icy chill in your chest as the figures in front of you became increasingly blurry. Before you could finish your sentence or find your words again, everything went black.

[supernovafics]

completed series masterlist

pairing: modern!actor!steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 6k words

warnings:  explicit language, established relationship, lots and lots of fluff, a tiny bit of angst, smut (18+), unprotected piv sex

summary: you and steve get to spend the weekend together 

author's note: this takes place about six ish months from the epilogue of this series. you don’t really need to have read everything to read this, just know that actor!steve and reader are dating and have been for the past six months, and reader works in film (production/behind the scenes stuff)🫡🫡🫡 this whole thing turned out to be so much longer than i expected omg but i was really missing actor!steve and star of the show so yeah this happened! enjoy<3333

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

BONUS | ❝𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒊 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅❞

You were practically jumping into Steve’s arms when he exited the car, not even giving him a chance to grab his bag from the trunk before you were hugging him tightly. 

The soft and happy laugh he emitted in response to your antics made you smile into his neck.   

“God, I’ve missed you.”

His arms tightened around you. “I’ve missed you too.” 

You two stayed just like that for a bit, simply savoring the feeling of finally being in each other’s arms after two and a half months of not having that. Until the cold was hitting you and the red knit sweater you were wearing and Steve’s arms wrapped around you were sadly not enough to keep you warm. 

Reluctantly, you pulled out of the embrace and looked up at him. “Okay, it’s freezing out here. Let’s go inside.”

Steve nodded as he went to grab his bag from the trunk of his Uber; a small suitcase that made sense for this weekend trip to the small town that was an hour away from where the documentary you’d been working on as a producer for the last few months was filming in upstate New York. 

“Does the inside actually match the pictures on the website?” Steve asked as his free hand found yours and the two of you walked up the small path that led to the house you rented for the weekend. 

“Surprisingly yes,” You answered, about to open the front door, but then you remembered something that had somehow slipped your mind in the last few minutes; which actually made sense because being with Steve always managed to do that to you. You stopped walking before you pushed open the door and looked up at him. “Oh, okay, so I kinda fucked up.”  

He gave you a confused look. “What happened?”

“It was really cold in the house when I first got here a couple hours ago, so I turned on the heat,” You started and Steve nodded along to your words. “But, it’s broken or something because when I tried to turn it down, it didn’t work and it won’t turn off, so it’s… pretty warm inside.” 

“Oh, okay, that’s fine,” He said with a quick shrug, completely underestimating just how bad it was because you were downplaying the entire situation. “I thought you were gonna say you flooded the place or something.”

You finally pushed open the front door and let Steve walk in first, taking note of his reaction as he was hit with the heat and immediately went to pull his jacket off. 

He raised an eyebrow at you. “‘Pretty warm’?” 

“I know. I’m sorry,” You said as you pushed the sleeves of your sweater up to your elbows. “I called the lady that owns the place and she said that she can send her brother over tomorrow to fix it.”

Aside from the heat, the place was nice. You gave him a quick tour of the small space; well, only the parts that mattered— the living room that didn’t have a TV but you already had your laptop set up on the coffee table, the kitchen that was actually the perfect size for the meal that you two would be cooking later, the backyard patio that had a fire pit that you quickly told Steve would be perfect for making smores. 

And then there was your bedroom on the second floor. It wasn’t until you were closed behind the door of the room that Steve finally kissed you, spinning you around as you were pointing at the door that led to the bathroom and slotting his lips against yours. 

You knew why he had waited, and why you had put it off too— that first kiss after being apart for so long was never just a kiss; it always quickly led to more and you both hated having to interrupt it. 

You yelped in surprise before instinctively melting into your boyfriend’s touch. His hands were cupping your face so tenderly that it didn’t even bother you how cold they were; in fact, you found it as a nice contrast from the heat that took over the entire house.  

Steve guided you back toward the nicely made bed and then softly pushed you down so that you were lying on it, breaking the kiss. You wasted no time in pulling your sweater up and over your head and tossing it somewhere in the room, leaving you in your black bra. You felt near desperate to get Steve out of the long sleeve he was wearing too, but before you could make any move to do so he was leaning over you and kissing you again. 

Your fingers slipped into the belt loops of the dark jeans he was wearing and pulled him firmly against you. Feeling his hardness pressed against your thigh made you softly whine into the kiss and the quiet groan Steve let out in response sounded like music to your ears. 

He grinded against you roughly and your hips bucked upward at every one of his movements, trying to feel anything through your jeans. You suddenly wished that you had opted for wearing the skirt that you had ultimately decided to save for later. 

With a particularly rough stir of his hips, you moaned into his mouth and your hands shot up to find their home in his hair.  

“I’m sorry,” Steve mumbled against your lips. 

You hummed in confusion. “For what?”

His mouth found your neck, nipping harshly at your collarbone and making you mewl. “I really don’t wanna take my time with you right now.”

You let out a soft laugh. “Good, because I don’t want you to either.”

Clothes were shed and littered on the floor in a matter of what felt like seconds. Your head fell back against one of the pillows and Steve settled comfortably on top of you and between your spread legs, his body enveloping yours completely. You two didn’t even bother getting under the blanket; it was too hot to do so anyway.  

The feeling of his cock pressed against your inner thigh, so close yet so far from where you needed it to be, made you moan and you could feel yourself dripping at the thought of what was to come. You needed him badly and right now. 

As if reading your mind, Steve positioned himself at your entrance and pushed inside of you; your wetness making it easy for him to fill you up completely in one swift movement that made you both gasp. 

Your mind effectively became a pile of mush, but you still were coherent enough to reach up and give his hair the soft tugs that you knew he loved. It made him groan and his thrusts started to pick up speed, not taking things slow just like he said. 

It was the pent up frustration and build up from not having been with each other in person that made you both practically feral for each other. 

“Fuck, I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you so much. Your pussy always feels so good. Takes me so fucking well. Shit, fuck. I love you. I love you so, so much.” Steve’s rambling was a given in moments like these. 

It was always this “hello” sex or subsequent “goodbye” sex where he would ramble on and on about how much he loved you and how perfect you were. His words came out quick and rushed as if they’d been living inside of him for so long and they were finally able to burst out. 

You became pretty much the opposite in these moments, mind running on autopilot as you took everything he was giving you. It was always so hard to form coherent sentences when all you could think about was how good he felt inside of you. 

“Shit, I’m not gonna last long, honey,” Steve said. His hand had a near-bruising grip on your hip as he pushed his cock deeper and deeper inside of you with every thrust. 

“I don’t care,” You told him, finding your voice. “I need you to cum inside me, Steve. Please.”

His hand moved from your hip and snaked between your bodies to find your clit, rubbing tight circles against the sensitive nub to bring you there with him. You let out the loudest moan and clenched around his cock in response and it abruptly sent him over the edge. He came inside you with a groan and a surprised “fuck,” hand finding and squeezing your hip once again. The feeling of his cum painting your walls nearly made you burst with him. 

He buried his face in your neck and you could feel his racing heart against your chest and it made you smile, it also made you want to kiss him. You turned your head a little, pressing a kiss into his hair, but it wasn’t enough for you. 

You gave Steve a little nudge and he lifted his head, looking at you curiously. 

“Let me kiss you,” You told him and he smiled as he leaned in and you closed the rest of the small bit of distance between you two. It was slow and languid, a surprisingly nice contrast from how rushed and intense everything had been a few minutes ago. 

When you felt sated, you pulled back. “Okay, let’s go shower.”

“No, no, wait,” Steve said, lifting off of you a bit. You should’ve known what was coming; Steve hated finishing before you— although, you didn’t really care that much because it never happened that often anyway, and honestly when it did happen you found it quite endearing. But, there was no way that he’d let you get up in this moment without making you come. 

His middle finger found your clit again and you couldn’t help but let out the softest whine and clench around his cock that was still inside you as he started slowly circling the bundle of nerves. “Need you to come for me, baby, okay?”

Your eyes fell shut and you were nodding immediately. “Mm, okay.”

You felt him kiss your cheek and then his mouth was right at your ear as his finger started moving faster and you were bucking your hips upward to feel more. “God, you look so perfect spread out for me like this. Be a good girl and come for me.”

You’d already been close so it didn’t take long for you to come around his softening cock, especially with the soft praises he was giving you. 

“Fuck, fuck, Steve.” He continued stroking your clit through your orgasm, not pulling away until he could tell that you were becoming too overstimulated. 

“Okay,” He said, lips pressing against yours in the softest kiss. “Now we can shower.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

You and Steve were really good at long distance— texts and calls and FaceTimes were always frequent and you never went a day without talking to each other, even if it was just a quick conversation— but nothing would ever beat seeing each other in person. The last time was a couple of months ago when you had a few days free and you went back to Los Angeles to see him. It was great, but felt so short, and it already slightly saddened you that this weekend would be the same thing. 

Steve was making grabby hands at you the second you two stepped into the cool shower. 

“Hey, hey, no funny business right now,” You said, playfully swatting his hands away as you pulled the curtain closed. “We need to make this shower quick because there’s this outdoor Fall market thing I want us to go to. It’s like a five-minute walk from here.” 

He pressed a soft kiss against your neck and then gave you a curious look. “Is that a good idea?”

You two were still navigating how to be in public with one another and how to make it work; and if it would even be possible to make it work in the way you wanted it to. You really didn’t want to get pulled into the spotlight and Steve was completely understanding of that, so staying in when you two were together wasn’t uncommon to either of you. And it had yet to feel like a huge deal because when you two only had a few days to spend with each other at a time, going out wasn’t on either of your minds. However, these current circumstances felt pretty different because of where you two were.

You pulled back a little and let your arms come up to circle his neck, your hands finding home in the damp hair at the nape of his neck. “Yeah, we don’t have to worry here, this is such a small town and a paparazzi-free zone. I promise.”

“Okay,” He nodded, and then his eyes fell shut as you softly started stroking his hair. “So, what do they have at this Fall market thing?”

“I only quickly drove past it so I don’t really know,” You told him. “But, I did see a hot chocolate stand and we have to get that.” 

“Mm, that sounds good.”

“Oh, oh, oh, that reminds me, did you bring me chocolate from San Francisco?” You asked, smiling up at him. 

His eyes opened then and he smiled back at you. “Of course, it’s in my suitcase.”

“God, I love you,” You tilted your head upward to give his lips a quick peck. “We should probably take it out soon and put it in the fridge because of how hot it is.”

 “I’ll grab it after this,” Steve said and you nodded. 

You were the one to pull out of his arms and force you two to do what you were supposed to be doing in a shower, and five minutes later, you both were clean but neither of you made any move to turn off the water. Instead, Steve was turned away from you and you were softly running your finger across his back, doing a sort of connect the dots with the few freckles and moles that were littered across his skin. It would be pretty safe to say that you two were using the shower as a way to cool down from the heat that was taking over the entire house. And although you had proclaimed that this needed to be a quick shower, you didn’t mind wasting a few more minutes in it with Steve. 

“Hey,” He said softly and you hummed in response to let him know that you were listening. “I think that I’m gonna turn down the role for the movie that’s filming in Toronto in January.” 

You abruptly stopped tracing random patterns on his back. “What? Really?”

At first, he simply nodded in answer, and then you poked him a couple times so that he would turn and face you. 

“Yeah, I’m not really into the script or the role that much. And it also would overlap for two weeks with the next thing I’m gonna do in Europe. Those producers said that they can make this overlap work, but I don’t know, I just don’t really want to do the one in Toronto, anyway,” He told you, and then his hands settled on your bare waist. “Plus, if I don’t do it, then that means we’ll get three uninterrupted months together in LA instead of just having December.” 

You tried not to let yourself get too excited at the idea of things working out like that. Once the documentary finished, you wouldn’t have anything big planned until you worked as the Assistant Director on Jessie’s, your good friend’s, next film that was starting in three months. Your plan in the meantime was to go home to Los Angeles and just take a break until then; maybe help out on some local projects here and there because it was hard to completely push your mind away from working. Now knowing that Steve would also be home the entire time made the thought of actually taking a break sound nice.

You gave him a look in this moment, though, because it was impossible for you to not think logically about this too. “You’re not really doing this just for that last reason, right?”

If his answer was yes, you were ready to launch into an explanation about how he didn’t need to do that just so you two could spend more time together. Your schedules had already aligned perfectly and you two would get to spend the holidays together— and that felt lucky and great in itself— so he didn’t need to turn down roles he wanted just so you two could have more moments like this one. You’d been making it work these last six months and you knew that you’d continue to make this relationship work without either of you having to make any crazy sacrifices just yet. 

“No, I meant all of that other stuff,” Steve told you, wrapping his arms around you completely and pulling you closer. “Things were entirely different before you and before us. I used to like taking every role that I was offered because I wanted to stay busy and because I hated taking breaks between projects. But now I don’t wanna work all the time and take roles that aren’t that interesting just to stay busy. Especially not when not doing the movie or whatever else means I get to spend that time with you instead.”

It was honestly really endearing seeing how things were shifting for him because of you and your relationship; it was also a little scary. 

“And you’re completely sure about this?”

Steve didn’t hesitate to nod. “A thousand percent.”

You let yourself accept his words then, knowing that he was telling you the truth.

“Y’know, this means that we’ll finally get a chance to get sick of each other instead of constantly missing each other,” You said, playfully poking his side.

Steve laughed a little. “That’ll be a nice change.”

It was a possibility, but neither of you could actually see that happening, you couldn’t imagine growing sick of him. 

You had wanted to keep things fairly PG, but it was too hard not to kiss him in this moment; threading your fingers through his hair and pulling him close to you, chest to chest and hands grabbing at your hips. He guided you back to the wall of the shower and softly pressed you against the white tile. You could feel his half-hard cock twitch against where it was pressed to your lower stomach and you suddenly felt so close to telling him to fuck you against the wall. 

Before you could beg or even simply ask for that, Steve was pulling away from your mouth and pressing his forehead against yours with a soft breath. “Remember when this was supposed to be a quick shower?”

He was being the logical one in this moment and you were simultaneously happy and annoyed about it. 

You nodded. “Sadly yes.”

Steve moved away from you completely, finally turning off the water and pushing the curtain to the side to grab the towels that you two had hanging up. He wrapped one around your shoulders and then grabbed the other one for himself and wrapped it around his waist. 

You readjusted your towel and before he stepped out of the shower you grabbed his attention with a soft, “Hey.”

You held up your pinky and then continued. “I know you said that you didn’t even want to take this role anyway, but promise me that if there is something that you do really like and wanna do or even like a little or whatever, you won’t turn it down for me and because of us, okay?” 

You weren’t entirely sure why you felt the need to say that in this moment, to remind him that you two would always figure out how to make things work despite all of your guys’ work stuff, but it felt important to. 

He nodded as he lifted his hand and linked his pinky with yours. “I promise.”

“Remember, I take these very seriously, Steven,” You said, smiling up at him. 

“I know,” He said, a small smile on his face, and he was the one to kiss you that time around.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

The hot chocolate was warm in your hands and it felt so nice that it made you not want to drink anymore of it yet; it was still a bit too hot anyway. 

You and Steve were settled on a random bench in the park where the market was happening. After an hour of walking around and buying a few things, you two were away from the busyness of the little shops and stands that took over the park and the hordes of people; it had ended up being more crowded than you had expected it to be.

You looked up at Steve and his beanie-covered head. “You do like the candle, right?”

“Yes, I do,” He answered. “It smells really nice. And you made a very compelling case about smelling it in my place when we’re together and doing fun holiday stuff in December so that really sold it for me.”

You could imagine that probably too easily, and that was exactly what you had told Steve. The cinnamon and vanilla scent perfectly defined Fall and Winter in your eyes and it was nice to think about the cozy smell taking over his apartment in LA as you two spent the holidays together for the first time; watching Christmas movies and baking cookies because why not? The thought of doing that, and especially doing it with Steve, warmed your heart. You hadn’t done anything like that in what felt like forever. Instead, you had always figured out a way to busy yourself with work during that time, knowing that you’d just feel lonely otherwise. Now things were very different.

“I can’t wait for that,” You told Steve softly.

He switched his hot chocolate to one hand so that he could wrap an arm around you. “Me too.”

He leaned in, pressing a kiss to your forehead and then your cold nose and then your lips. Before either of you could make the kiss deeper than the chaste peck that it was, your phone started ringing in the pocket of your coat. 

Reluctantly, you pulled back from Steve and fished your phone out of your pocket. When you saw Jackson’s contact name on your screen, you were quickly both annoyed and worried. He was the director of the documentary and technically your boss, but the entire small crew felt more like family at this point, so that made you feel more inclined to answer the call. 

You sighed, looking away from your phone still ringing, and up at Steve. “I told him that I wouldn’t be available this weekend and he said he’d only call if it was something really important so…”

“It’s okay. Take it,” Steve told you and you gave him a small smile before swiping to answer the call and standing up from the bench. 

For the next ten minutes, Steve watched you on the phone a few feet away, pacing back and forth as you talked because it was too hard for you to be still when you were on a call, especially an abrupt work one. He found you so goddamn adorable; the furrow of your eyebrows and how you’d chew on your lip or become fixated on something as you talked and listened. In this moment, it was the hot chocolate in your hand.  

He loved how serious you got about work, it reminded him of himself in a lot of ways, and he also loved that he got to see both sides of you. The side that happily became consumed by work, and the not-so-serious side where you and he would talk about anything and everything that didn’t involve work. He vividly remembered one night in his bed when you went on the longest tangent about early 2000s music. It was so random and a little weird, but it only made him fall deeper and harder for you. 

“Is everything okay?” He asked you once you were sitting back next to him on the bench and your phone was pocketed away in your jacket again. 

“Yeah, now it’s fine, thank god. Jackson was freaking out because one of the parents wanted to pull her kid out of the entire thing, which would fuck up pretty much everything we’ve been doing for the past few months because she’s one of the main kids that we’ve been following at this performing arts school. According to Jackson, I’m the best at talking to the parents so he put me on a call with the mom, and I managed to convince her to be back on board with everything— I reminded her about how much exposure the documentary is gonna give the school, and in turn her daughter, and she was really happy about that. Apparently, she was getting annoyed that the cameras haven’t been “following them enough” lately, which I think actually has been true, but it’s only because one of the other girls is having more interesting stuff happening right now or something. I don’t really know. But, I told her that that camera time doesn’t really matter because everyone’s gonna get the same amount of screen time in the final cut; which might actually be kind of a lie, I don’t know…” You trailed off with a sigh when you realized how long you’d been talking. “Sorry, now I’m just rambling about nonsense.”

Steve shook his head, smiling at you. “No, I think it’s cute when you ramble about work.”

You two were on the same page about that; there was something about hearing his work stories that had yet to get old to you too. Whether it be about random castmate drama or filming delays, or even stuff outside of filming— like interviews that actually ended up being fun, or ones that had one too many awkward questions— you loved hearing about it all, and Steve was a really great storyteller. 

“If I ever mention wanting to work on something that will involve kids and their parents again, please remind me of this annoying moment,” You said and Steve nodded amusingly at your request. “Oh, and I stress-drank my entire hot chocolate during that phone call, which sucks because I wanted to savor it.” 

“Let’s get you another one and then head back to our sauna for the rest of the night.” 

You laughed at his joke and then nodded. “Solid idea, Harrington.” 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

It was barely nine o’clock when you and Steve fell asleep. You two had cooked a quick meal in the kitchen when you made it back from the park and then promptly ended up in bed, watching a movie with your laptop opened up next to you two because the living room couch wasn’t as comfortable as you thought it would be. 

You two were not even halfway through the movie— some random rom-com that was the first thing you saw when you went to Netflix— when you fell asleep. It was early, but it made sense; Steve had had a long flight from where he had just finished filming in San Francisco and you hadn’t been getting more than five hours of sleep lately because of work.

You honestly didn’t expect to wake up until late in the morning, after you successfully caught up on all the sleep you’d been missing lately with Steve right next to you; you’d come to have the best sleep ever when he was with you. So, when you randomly woke up in the middle of the night, it was because you didn’t feel him next to you. Despite how hot it was in the house, you remembered his arms had been wrapped around you when you fell asleep.

You sleepily opened your eyes and noticed Steve standing in front of his opened suitcase in the corner of the room with his phone pressed to his ear. He was shirtless and had one hand slipped in the pocket of the basketball shorts he was wearing. You were pretty much dressed the same, only in a tank top and a pair of small pajama shorts because it was pretty impossible to wear anything else in the warm house. 

“We’ll figure it out…” Steve said and then you heard him sigh. “She’s sleeping now, so I’ll tell her when she wakes up… Yeah, uh-huh, okay. Bye.”

The call ended and you saw him slip his phone into the pocket of his shorts and then he sighed again, it was a longer and more annoyed-sounding one that time. 

“Tell me what?” You mumbled as you rubbed your eyes and sat up in bed, the sheet covering your body slipped down as you moved, but you didn’t mind. 

Steve turned to you and gave you a smile that even in the darkness that took over the bedroom you could see didn’t reach his eyes. You turned on the small lamp that sat on the nightstand next to you to bring some light to the room. 

“Okay, don’t be mad…” He pulled out his phone again as he walked over to sit back next to you on the bed and then handed over his phone. 

The first thing you saw was the headline— Steve Harrington Spotted with Mystery Girl in New York. You scrolled down and there were a series of pictures of you and him at the park; laughing, smiling, smelling a candle at the candle stand, and your hot chocolates in hand moments after you’d gotten them. It felt weird seeing yourself like that; invasive. It was exactly what you didn’t want to happen.

The remaining bit of tiredness you felt was quickly wiped away and you shook your head. “Oh, oh, fuck, I’m an idiot.”

“That’s not true,” You heard Steve say as you still looked at his phone. 

“Yes, I definitely am. I should’ve known this would happen. Why did I think that just because this is a small town, you’d be able to be normal for a couple days?” Now that you were saying it out loud you knew just how stupid that assumption had been, and you were actually surprised that you hadn’t realized that sooner, or that Steve hadn’t called you out on it. “Was that Tom on the phone?”

Steve nodded. “Yeah.”

“What did he say?”

“First, he was pissed that he had to find out this way; it was very ‘blindsiding,’ and as my publicist, he should’ve known this huge thing. But, he’s glad that it’s at least you because he likes you,” Steve said and you nodded along to his words. “Second, he wants to know what we want to do about it because there are a bunch of other articles coming out calling you my girlfriend and trying to figure out who you are, and also calling Tom and asking for comments and confirmations and all of that stuff.”

The wheels in your brain were already turning, trying to figure out what to do now that the initial shock had worn off. Your eyes were still solely focused on Steve’s phone because maybe the answer would hit you if you kept staring at the picture of him smiling at you as you took what had been the first sip of your hot chocolate. 

Steve kept going when you were quiet for too long. “Tom said that the pictures aren’t too ‘romantic-looking,’ so he can put denials out if we want.”

You still couldn’t figure out what to say. Your mind was moving a million miles a second but not one coherent thought or solution or anything was forming. 

Steve spoke again after a few moments. “I’m really sorry about all of this.” 

That made you finally look at him; he was leaning back against the headboard and pushing a hand through his hair. “What? Why are you sorry?”

“Because I know this is the opposite of what you wanted to happen.”

“Yeah, that’s true, but it’s not your fault,” You told him, placing his phone down on the bed and scooching closer to him. “At all.”

You didn’t want to get pulled into the spotlight, but it was pretty much inevitable, you were finally realizing now. Being with Steve meant that. There was really no way around it, and the more you thought about it, the more you realized that it was kind of surprising that this actually hadn’t happened sooner.

“Whatever you want to do about this, we can do it,” Steve told you, pulling you out of your thoughts with a reassuring hand squeeze. “I’m used to the bullshit pap stuff and articles talking about me, but you’re not, so we could deny this and forget it happened.”

Maybe he was right and you two could forget about it for now, but something like this was bound to happen again. Steve was only becoming a bigger actor— which made sense because he was insanely good, and you loved telling him that and watching him turn a little red and playfully roll his eyes at you whenever you did.

It meant that more eyes would be on him, so what were the options? Lie and hide your relationship forever? Never go out in public with him again? 

That sounded a thousand times worse than what this article and whatever the other ones were already saying about you and him. 

“I don’t think we should deny it,” You told Steve as you moved even closer to him and settled in his lap, knees on either side of him. “This was bound to happen sooner or later, right? So, maybe it’s okay that it happened now.” 

His warm hands found your hips immediately, slipping in the space where your tank top had ridden up and touching your bare skin. “You sure?”

“Yeah,” You nodded and a part of you wanted to simply leave it at that, but then you continued. “We could deny this and forget about it, but something like this is just gonna happen again.” A playful smile tugged at your lips. “Also, it would probably get really annoying keeping us a secret because I don’t know if you know this, but I love you and I’m planning to be with you for a really, really, really long time.” 

Steve matched your smile. “I do know that, but I also really love hearing it.” 

Your hands came up then, settling on his bare shoulders and then moving to the hair at the nape of his neck. You leaned in, brushing your nose against his and his head tilted upward, closing the final bit of distance between you two. 

The kiss was soft and teasing. Steve’s arms circled around you completely and he pulled you impossibly close to him. You let out a soft sound into his mouth at the feel of your chest brushing against his, the only thing that separated you two was the thin black fabric of your shirt.  

He thumbed at the strap of the tank top for a quick second before slipping it off your shoulder, mouth and tongue still solely focused on you as he did so. 

You finally found it in you to pull away after a moment and you met Steve’s eyes and the small pout quickly taking over his features. “Shouldn’t you be texting Tom?”

He shrugged as if that was the absolute last thing on his mind at this moment; you were pretty certain that you knew what the first thing was. “I’ll do it in the morning.”

You decided against questioning and teasing him further and instead whispered a soft, “Okay,” before leaning in to slot your lips against his once again. 

It didn’t matter that the text hadn’t been sent yet, and it also wouldn’t really matter if it wasn’t sent tomorrow or the day after that. Because it wouldn’t really change anything aside from the obvious; and you were making a mental note to make sure that all of your social media accounts were set to private before you started getting bombarded with the inevitable.

At the end of the day, Steve was yours and you were his, you both were so sure and certain of that fact, and that’s all that mattered right then. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

let me know your thoughts<333

(there's a part of me that really really wants to write holiday stuff with these two and i'm gonna think about that for the rest of the night 🫶🏾)

[gay-dorito-dust]

You should 100% write a viktor x reader fic, doesn’t matter if it’s long or not just Fluff after these last episodes 🙁🙏

Viktor didn’t need to even look up from his book that he had been reading to know that you had something concealed within your jacket the moment you opened the door, drenched in rainwater but yet smiling down at whatever you thought you had snuck in so effortlessly. It was humorous to say the least and didn’t fail to bring a smile to his lips but still the question remained that he finally spoke aloud.

‘What’s hiding in the jacket my dear?’ He asks, seeing you stiffen almost immediately.

‘Nothing.’ You replied but you knew Viktor wasn’t someone so easily fooled, especially not when he could easily read you like the book he had in his hands, he knew your heart far too well to be duped now.

‘If it was nothing then you wouldn’t be smiling so hard down at it, whispering sweet nothings and walking through this kind of downpour with a half zipped jacket.’ Viktor then said sarcastically as he sets aside his book to look at you with his amber eyes, filled with a familiar playfulness and warmth that you loved so much, and a small smile played on his lips. ‘You are hiding something, so why don’t you let the poor thing free and roam its new accommodation.’

‘Fine. Let’s get you out of here little buddy.’ You pouted as you gingerly brought out a cat from your jacket and setting them on the floor.

The poor cat’s chestnut fur was completely soaked to the bone as though it had been left out for some time in the downpour before you had got to them, the cat also looked to be slightly on the malnourished side also, meaning it had possibly been neglected for long periods of time as the poor thing could hardly stand on it own legs. However that wasn’t the only thing Viktor noticed about them as his sharp eyes were quick to spot that it was missing its left leg.

The cat was clearly abandoned due to its missing limb by their previous owner and Viktor couldn’t help but see himself in the cat as it got to familiarise its new home, yet it still looked back at you frequently to make sure that you were nearby, for you were the one thing the cat could consider as safe in unfamiliar territory. ‘It’s okay sweetheart.’ You said to the cat as it waited for you to finish hanging up your jacket and join it as you gestured towards Viktor. ‘Viktor’s friendly, I’m sure you’ll grow to love him more than me but I can’t blame you, he’s impossible not to love.’ You then add as you gave him a wink.

The cat only mewled at you before looking over at Viktor, who only looked back at the cat with a looked he hoped was warm and welcoming. This wasn’t the first time you had brought a stray home, you hated leaving a defenceless animal on their own, especially in weathers such as this but you hated the people who abandoned them even more as you cradled them to your chest. You didn’t care if you were soaking wet or had gotten hurt trying to reassure the animal you were rescuing that you were safe, you would do anything in your power to get them somewhere warm and dry for the time being.

Viktor couldn’t help but love this part of you deeply and wish that there were more people like you to do similar things. He still remembers the injured bird that you both had nursed back to health months ago when it had fallen out of the nest that had been destroyed during the fall. It still came back now and then and whenever it did, Viktor would only stand back and watch you beam with happiness when the bird showed you the family it made during your time apart. It only served as a reminder of the kind and gentle heart that you possessed, a reminder that unconditional love and compassion did exist and Viktor found it in abundance when he was with you, and he couldn’t be happier to have found such a person who saw him as perfect and worth the admiration within your eyes.

For to be cradled within your appreciative hands as though he was the most precious being in all of existence to you was a blessing Viktor would never give up for the life of him. You saw him as something more then he saw in himself, looking at him as though he was your god given solace as you pressed kisses into his skin, all the while praising every aspect of him; you called him beautiful beyond compare, for to you nothing could compare to your beautiful and more important than your Viktor.

Viktor was then brought out of his mind when he heard a cat’s mewl before then feeling the cat carefully being put onto his lap, and sure enough he was face to face with the chestnut cat with the three legs with you sitting on the arm of his chair, looking down at them with a softness he’s seen countless times before but could never get enough of how ethereal you looked. ‘I think they like you.’ You lightly teased as you kissed the side of his head, eyes never tearing away from the cat, who had now made his lap their personal resting place as Viktor saw the relaxed rise and fall of their rather small body as it began its descent into peaceful sleep.

‘Where did you find them?’ Viktor asks softly as not to disturb the cat.

‘On the outskirts of Piltover,’ you replied, ‘poor thing was crying out when I came across them-‘

‘Calling out to their owners.’ Viktor adds and you only hum in agreement as you leaned into him, both of your hearts ached for the cat but also raged against the people who dared left this beautiful creature alone in the worst circumstances possible. ‘I couldn’t leave them Viktor.’ You told him as you reached to hold his hand in yours for strength. ‘I just couldn’t I-‘

‘I know my love, I know.’ Viktor shushes you as he raises your joint hands and kissing the back of yours, hoping to give you some comfort and peace. ‘You did a good thing, a very good thing in gifting them shelter.’ He tells you. ‘Your heart is pure as the purest gold and I couldn’t be more proud of my lover.’ He adds with a smile as he moves his hand from yours to the back of your neck, gently guiding you to pressing your forehead against his, an act of affection amongst the people of the Zaun.

You breathed out a sigh of relief before felling a laugh fall effortlessly for your lips, leaving Viktor a tad confused as to what he had sad to make you laugh, only to not have to wait long as you looked back at the cat on his lap. ‘You’re now not allowed to leave this place unless you want our little buddy to wake up grumpy at you.’ You say barely above a whisper and Viktor finds himself smiling down at the chestnut cat, reaching out to gently stroke its back, before looking back at you with a glint in his eyes.

‘Then that means you must accompany me in keeping them well rested.’ He then said playfully as you shrugged. ‘More time with my beloved Viktor and our little guest?’ You rhetorically say with a face of faux thought, mind having already been made up the moment you saw the poor cat lost and scared amidst the heavy downpour. You then stole a kiss from Viktor’s lips, lingering against them even as you pull away to murmur, ‘it would be an insult to ever reject a piece of heaven when it is offered to me like this?’ And stayed like that you and Viktor did as the rain only lulled you both into the easiest slumber either of you ever had thus far.

[catghoul31]

Best Present Ever

It's Wade's birthday, but he finds the one-year anniversary of meeting Logan far more important. Wolvie, however, isn't sure he needs to make a wish this time around...

(For @poolverine-week day 7: birthday!)

Content Warnings: exploration of worst!logan's past and the death and suffering that comes with it

Read it under the cut or on ao3!

Logan shot awake that morning, the blood of so, so many people still feeling fresh on his claws. It had been washed away years ago, but the memories still seemed to haunt him, no matter how many steps he took in this new world. Living still felt like a chore, and he still felt like a failure of a person no matter how many times Wade tried to convince him otherwise-

Wade. Wasn’t he in bed with me last night?

On mornings like this, his claws would normally wind up embedded inside of Wade. Logan was utterly distraught the first time it happened, but after months and months of sleeping together, he eventually grew numb to it with the knowledge that Wade had never gotten mad at him about it before, and for some reason, he never would. But there was none of his blood on his claws today, only shredded sheets and another pillow that needed to be replaced.

Where did he go?

—

In the back of his mind, Logan thought he knew a man named Wade once. Back before Weapon X, he probably would’ve fought alongside him in the secret forces, using his brutal nature for good just as Logan had been forced to do. There was a sort of peace in knowing someone as born for destruction as you were, so fucked over by fate that there was no way around your nature except through it.

At least he could control it. Fate seemed to have other plans for Wade, though- the head of Weapon X had somehow managed to find a way to rip that control away from him through forced mutation. When they saw each other once again, he couldn’t even speak, let alone think for himself. Logan’s claws had been the ones to end his misery after a long, horrible fight- at least, he hoped they had.

Those memories hadn’t been wiped- at least, not by Stryker. The only reason he remembered, in the wake of everything else, was that it marked the first time he’d heavily abused alcohol to drown out the memories of his muffled screams at his hands.

The first of many, many times to come.

—

“Wolvie!! Oh- good, you’re awake. You always sleep like a rock whenever I wake up before you- do you know how hard it is to get you off of me??”

Ah, there he was. Of course he hadn’t gone far, and neither had that mouth of his. Always having to talk about something… He’d take his droning on over his inner monologue any day, though. Ever since they’d finally stopped being emotionally constipated assholes and decided to get together, Logan kind of missed it when Wade wasn’t around. This world was too quiet and dull without him…

“Morning, Wade,” he responded, retracting his claws from the bed. Logan knew exactly what Wade was gonna ask based on that look in his eyes, so to prevent ruining his morning, he held a hand up and said, “I’m fine. Just… don’t worry about it.”

Unfortunately for Logan, this was Wade he was dealing with. “Too late for that. I will never not worry about you, babygirl- did you have another nightmare?? While I wasn’t around to hold you tenderly and tell you everything was okay… I have failed you, my dearest and one true love, and I am deeply sorry. How ever can I make this right by you?” he lamented as over-dramatically as possible, getting on his knees and everything.

Logan’s face scrunched up at Wade’s antics as he pretended to be annoyed- but fuck it all, he really couldn’t be. Those puppy eyes worked too well, and he hated it. Sure, he got nervous when Wade was gone for too long, but it wasn’t like he was some lost puppy when Wade was even just in a different room than he was for five minutes. He could handle himself.

“But you always miss me so much, don’t you~?”

“Stop reading my thoughts, Wade. Please.”

—

Logan was found by the professor not long after that. There, he’d discovered others just like him, with all sorts of different mutations- the X-Men. The family he’d found after he lost everything else. The defenders of mutantkind, the friends he could always rely on… that’s what he’d tried to believe, at least. Try as he might, Logan could never bring himself to feel comfortable around them… around anyone, really. 

Something deep within him had the sense that the greatest danger never came from those he expected, but from the people he thought he could trust- wanted, so badly, to trust. To love, and be loved in return, regardless of that love’s nature. Logan, though, never felt quite right around any of them. He never felt like he belonged- not even around… Scott. Jean. Kurt. 

(He hated those names now. Couldn’t fucking stand hearing them, in any context.)

Logan wasn’t a hero. At best, he was good muscle and an intimidating face to scare the bad guys with. Nobody had ever made him feel like he was anything more than that, try as they might. He’d had enough one night, when the cheap pot shots at his animalistic qualities were too much, scraping at his head when it was already sore from self-loathing and the few memories he’d retained of his past life…

They went on a mission that night. Logan went bar hopping instead.

He would never see them alive again.

–

“...Anyways!! Maybe these’ll help the horrors leave your head, peanut,” Wade chirped, holding a plate of… pancakes. Logan would know that smell anywhere- the agent of chaos he lived with always insisted on making them every other morning. 

Logam would be tired of them by now, if not for the infectious joy they always brought to their mornings. It was less about the food, and more about how much fun Wade always had making them… Fuck, it would’ve been nice if he woken up earlier. He could’ve helped out! Or maybe he’d just sit at the table, watching Wade hum a song he didn’t recognize, dance in place to the beat before he put some batter on the griddle. He’d ask for blueberries if prompted, mostly to hear another ramble about how chocolate chips were the only correct add-in-

“Hey! Earth to Wolvie?? These are only the special-est pancakes ever… c’mon, humor me here, will ya?” A light poke at his nose made Logan huff, snapping him out of his trance.

“Y-Yeah, sorry. I’m fine, just…” It always felt odd saying that when it… wasn’t entirely a lie anymore. “...Tired. I’ll get up soon, just… gimme a bit-”

“Ah-ah! Absolutely not, Logi-Bear!!” Wade set a hand on Logan’s shoulder, forcing him to sit still- he hadn’t even moved yet. “Today calls for only the most romantic things I could possibly treat my emotional support 2000s-era heartthrob to… and that means we’re having breakfast in bed. I don’t make the rules, babe!”

Immediately, the pancakes were set in Logan’s lap, complete with a fork and knife, and he had to move quickly to stop the plate from sliding around. “...Do you also think sticky sheets are romantic, bub?” As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them- mostly because of the way Wade’s face glowed with mirth upon hearing them.

“Of course I do! This bed’s gonna see a lot more sticky stuff tonight, though, and you know it…”

Logan hid his flushed face in his hands, cussing under his breath as Wade giggled uncontrollably. How immature was he…? The worst part was how right he was, of course. Taking a look at his pancakes… they seemed misshapen. No, not misshapen- it seemed like they were supposed to be shaped like his mask, with a few ‘snikt’ marks drawn into them with batter. They were even complete with blueberries, syrup, whipped cream, powdered sugar, and… a candle? Thank fuck it wasn’t lit yet!

“Well… we’re pulling all the stops today, aren’t we? I mean, thanks for the food, but- what’s all this about, babe?” As confused as he was, Logan couldn’t help but smile. Wade was always one for fun gifts and gestures, but this seemed like a lot, even for him.

When Wade pulled out a fucking lighter, Logan immediately flung the candle off of the pancakes. The sad look Wade gave him stung- but fuck if he was letting the house burn down over this!!

“…Happy anniversary? Damn, guess you didn’t want a wish after all…”

—

The mansion was burning down.

Logan was barely lucid as he staggered back to what was supposed to be his home. All at once, though, awareness flooded his mind again the moment he comprehended what he was looking at. His home was being destroyed right in front of him, and he instantly rushed over to try and help his comrades salvage what would be left.

As Logan got closer to the bonfire that was once his home, he heard shouting, chanting… cheering?? People were celebrating this vile display of hatred. Nothing he wasn’t used to. He’d just lop their heads off, and his family would-

…

They wouldn’t do anything.

Not with their bodies impaled in the middle of the crowd, paraded by masked individuals who were protected by a sea of people chanting, jeering, or screaming in outrage at the scene before them.

Many of those disgusted individuals… they’d left the mansion before this happened. 

But Logan didn’t care. Any shred of morality left his body in that moment, and his claws unsheathed so fast he thought he’d never be able to pull them back in again. 

It was a total bloodbath. Hundreds more people died that night- all of the perpetrators, sure, but not even those who were trying to fight against the X-Men’s killers were safe. Not even some of the very students he’d sworn to protect. In that moment, which went by in what felt like seconds to him, Logan had caused the greatest atrocity ever committed by mutantkind. No other mutant would ever be as notable as he was. 

How could they, if Logan was the only mutant the humans couldn’t kill?

—

“Oh, there’s lots of things I’ve got to wish for, bub. Burning this shitty apartment down ain’t one of them, though.”

Wade snorted at that comment, putting the lighter away safely and stepping closer to Logan. “Aw, c’mon, what’s a little arson between friends?” he asked, resting his head on Logan’s shoulder and shooting those puppy dog eyes at him, like a dog begging for a taste of water boiling on the stove. 

Logan laughed dryly at the thought. Wade was so ridiculous sometimes… did he still love his stupid ass? Of course he did. And he didn’t even feel stupid for it anymore, because honestly? He was being sweet this morning. Why kick the gift horse in the mouth? Or however Wade put it that one time… 

“I don’t want to celebrate our… anniversary? By becoming homeless, and I don’t think you want to, either.” Logan took a moment to think about what Wade meant by that. What was today an ‘anniversary’ of?? He had to glance back down at his pancakes to get the slightest idea of what that meant… and holy shit. “Has it really been that long since we’ve met each other?”

Wade, perking up instantly, nodded enthusiastically against him. “Of course I’d remember!! My phone started making those “1 year ago today” albums at 5 AM, and I- Logan, I almost cried. There’s so many cute pictures of us from back when you hated my guts…” 

Logan never hated him. He’d hated a lot of people in his time, but honestly, when his world came crumbling down, Logan lost the will to hate people, just as he’d lost the will to love, so he was just… mad at everyone, all the time. That was even true in that fucking car- he’d only called him all those nasty things because he was pissed. Mostly at himself, and- he still hadn’t fully forgiven himself for what he said. Or anything else, really. Forgiving Wade- hell, even choosing to love him- was way easier than that would ever be!

“…and OH MY GOD, the first picture I got of Dogpool!! Oh, Logan, you have to… are you even paying attention to me? Hey, don’t get all broody on me here, babycakes! This fic’s supposed to be fluffy, right? C’mon… hey-“ Wade guided Logan’s face to look at him, into that diseased-yet-kind soul of his.

“Eyes on me, now…” Logan’s nose scrunched up at the patronizing tone Wade took with him, but he obliged anyways. “Now. Look at this one,” The next picture on the album was Wade, after that “fight” of theirs, wrapped in seatbelts, covered in blood and making what looked like a kissy face at a passed-out Logan behind him, with the caption “noo don’t stab me you’re so sexy haha 😘.” “Doesn’t that make you feel better?”

Not really. But also… kinda. Yeah. “Maybe,” Logan shrugged, a slight smirk on his face. Even after a year, that was still the weirdest thing they’d done that Logan could accurately describe as “hot.” And they couldn’t ever recreate it!! No way for two people to have hot hate sex if they couldn’t even pretend to hate each other anymore…

Out of pure impulse, Logan moved his pancakes onto the nightstand, wrapped his arms around Wade, and rolled him over onto the bed with him. That squeak he always let out whenever Logan did this always made him laugh. Flustering Wade back was one of his favorite things in the world…

“If I’d known you were taking pictures, I would’ve grabbed that damn phone and taken some of my own that night,” Logan growled into his ear, grinning at how Wade shuddered in response.

“Mm… I don’t think you would’ve!” Wade whispered. “I think you would’ve been too busy f-wording me to focus on anything else, right?” he said, winking in… someone’s general direction- why’d he always do that? Some things about Wade were still completely lost on Logan…

“Well, you had time while you were trying to save the world, didn’t you?” he said, catching his album flipping to a selfie Wade took with Cassandra putting his fingers inside Logan’s face in the background- wait, what the fuck?

“Saving the world and saving you, peanut,” Wade corrected, a softer smile on his face now. “But… honestly, I think you might’ve saved me a bit more. I don’t know what I’d do if it wasn’t you I’d found…”

—

Logan deserved nothing. Not after what he did.

His fit of murderous rage had given the anti-mutes the ammo they needed to complete their genocide of every single mutant on the planet. They’d spent a while trying to kill him, but once Logan was the only mutant left alive, they figured it was punishment enough to let him live out the rest of his days in a world that hated him. 

And they were right. Logan was homeless and completely alone, obviously hated by the mutant killers, but especially loathed by everyone who’d fought against them, everyone who had lost a mutant loved one- especially at the Wolverine’s claws that night. Every single day, every moment he lived was a reminder of what he’d done, how he’d doomed his world.

He couldn’t bear to spend a second of his life sober. His alcoholism accelerated to a point where lethal levels of drinking barely affected him anymore, but it didn’t matter. It was better to relive his greatest crimes with a slightly foggy mind than to let the thoughts scream ceaselessly at him.

The obvious solution would be to let himself die, right? Just lie down in whatever shelter he could until his body finally starved to death… but Logan knew that would bring him peace. 

Something he would never have. Something he would never deserve.

Living was the only punishment fit for him.

—

Logan snorted, very much begging to differ. “At least you admit you saved me. I had nothing, Wade… Not until I met you.” Even after a year, Logan still meant those words. He no longer mourned the idea that there was nothing left for him in his old universe- at this point, it felt like a simple statement of fact. The memories of the events that ruined it still hurt, and he was far from healed… but Logan had no idea what he was thinking, wanting to go back after they’d defeated Cassandra. There wasn’t a life he could imagine living without Wade anymore…

As if he’d read his mind, Wade’s lips pressed against Logan’s in enthusiastic agreement. He returned the kiss softly, sighing in contentment. Much like the rest of him, Wade’s lips were scarred, textured with the physical manifestation of how much pain he’d suffered to get here. Every kiss he gave him reminded Logan how much pain Wade had experienced, and before, it’d felt like the tie that bound them. Now, though? After months of loving and being loved by Wade, thinking of their bond in terms of pain alone felt reductive. Maybe his existence in his old world was defined by how much he hurt… but not here. Not anymore.

When they parted, Wade leaned his forehead against him, staring at him with the softest eyes imaginable, a wordless declaration of love. Logan could only hope that the smile on his face conveyed the same sentiment.

Of course, the moment couldn’t last forever, and in true Wade fashion, he was the one to break it. “I think your pancakes are getting cold, sweetums… We can’t celebrate until you’ve had your breakfast!!” he insisted, dragging Logan up to sit again- as much as he stubbornly protested. He was very comfortable right there, why’d he have to ruin it? Over food?? He could always eat later.

But… sure. They could have pancakes. Logan had realized something very interesting about today, so… “You first,” Logan insisted, passing the fork to Wade, who seemed incredibly confused. 

“Nuh uh, Wolvie- it’s my turn to celebrate you right now!! Those were made specifically with you in mind-“

“Weren’t you having a party when you brought me home?”

It only took a few seconds for it to sink in. Logan watched with glee as Wade’s eyes widened, almost seeming devastated at the realization. He had to bite his tongue to keep from cackling when Wade yelled-

“I forgot my birthday again???”

[caffeinatedmunchkin]

WIP Whenever

Thank you so much for the tag @verbenaa !!✨ your WIP is, as with everything you post, supreme. Go read it right now it’s so good! Run don’t walk trUsT me

Being two Emmrich fics in now I guess it’s safe to say this is just where I’m at 🤷‍♀️ I haven’t been this consistently inspired in a while, so I’m running with it. Please forgive me that I’m throwing more Emmrook your way lol

This is from a oneshot I’m working on that is maybe kind of an out there idea, idk, I’m not gonna fight it. Still very much in the early, rough draft phase - a little bit suggestive and a lotta bit angsty under the cut 🙂‍↕️

With the first bite melting against his tongue, he stilled. His expression one of anguish, he stared either directly into her - or through her - she wasn't certain. But it made little difference.

He didn't see her, or whatever it was he zeroed in on. Ever alert and keenly observant, Emmrich looking lost as he did sank her heart into the pit of her stomach.

"That bad?" She offered with a single brow teased in hesitation as she steeled herself. Keeping her tone even and light, he flinched upon hearing her words, and her panic spiked.

Shutting his eyes, a harsh exhale flared his nostrils. And then nothing. Wound so tight and frozen stiff, not even his broad chest rose and fell with the rhythm of breaths.

She had tempered expectations. Of course it would pale in comparison to his mother’s, but surely her efforts would be appreciated, no matter how amateurish her attempt.

However he remained rigid and aloof. It stirred resignation to bubble up her throat and spill between them like a pot boiled over. Rushing to distance herself from the flicker of hope that she succeeded, only to retreat to forgone failure.

Much more familiar to her, she burrowed in that comfort and sought shelter. "I know its not quite the same, but I did tr-,"

Breaking himself out of the reticence that held him captive, without addressing her - or even glancing her way - he began to maul the slice. Wolfing it down like a man starved, he hunched over in his seat, such as hound seeks to hide their bone from prying eyes before they gnaw it to shreds and marrow.

Ricochetting the fork back and forth between his mouth and the plate, not a hint of deviation - or pause - in his course.

His heart felt like it was squeezed in a chest that pulled against it, intent to cave in. He didn't come up for air, not that his lungs would be able to suck it in against his body's constricting. Every part of him felt heavy and aching; the sore fatigue of succumbing to grief, after ignoring it for longer than it would tolerate. The clinking of metal against the china was all the noise between them.

"Oh-" escaped her in a quiet squeak. So quiet, he recognized it wasn't meant to be playful or teasing. He had startled her, just as he had himself.

Emmrich felt her intent gaze surround him with his every hurried inhale. On occasion, little muted whines of his were shook loose, before they were able to be strangled by his deprived mastication. With every one that rattled from his cavernous need he scrambled to fill with what she made for him, the wider her eyes grew.

And the hotter her cheeks.

And Emmrich kept eating.

His throat felt thick, and his molars buzzed. His head felt hazy from the rush of sugar, but it couldn't keep him from going in for more. Until every crumb was devoured. Until his fork scratched empty plate. Only then he used the flat of it to scrape up the smears of leftover frosting, and sucked it clean from the tines.

He didn't indulge in sweets often, not in a long while. And never like this.

It was like just his mother’s, and it wasn't.

So different from how he remembered, yet it warmed him from the inside out, just as it did when he was a boy.

He noticed her decision to use the rum and coffee in the icing, in place of the orange extract; a preference of his mother’s in which her faithfulness was strict.

It tasted like Ariadne. Her bite. How she burned down his throat and boiled in his stomach. A heady delight tinged with the inescapable aftertaste of regret.

Her heavy-hand, and decadence.

Her affection for him, overwhelming as it was unapologetic.

He didn't need his mother’s torte. He needed hers. And now that he got a taste; he was ravenous.

No pressure tags! @khywren @xxnashiraxx @vangbelsing @obsessedwhyyes @chaoticbardlady99 and whoever else wants to join in!! 💕

[alaskan-wallflower]

Hot takes (Musical)

very nervous-

i hate how soda was reduced to being basically a playboy/womanizer and wish they kept the conversation about pony and soda about how much he loves sandy and then adding something about the letter-i wish that he had the line about ‘stopping to smell the motor oil’ and then his actual verse in ggah was about the dx or cars or something that wasn’t just him hoeing around with women, especially since pony’s FIRST intro of soda is ‘my other brother suffers from a broken heart’ and the next song has him going after ace

I hate that two bit replaced steve in the musical and that steve was reduced to a character with a singular line about peas or whatever, which i don’t even remember because it was so irrelevant. i didn’t even know steve wa sin the musical until i followed them on insta and saw the vid of renni with the friendship bracelet from emma’s vlog

i wish ace had an introduction in the musical because to me, i had originally read the book and then the movie and THEN the musical, so when i first saw it i didn’t know who the hell ace was. i wish she had some sort of introduction because taht confused me a lot upon seeing it

i wish two bit and marcia had some action at the movies. i liked that part in the book with them and i wish they kept it

not a hot take but the show needs more coverage because some of the lengths these understudies have to go to is insane

fans should be more respectful to the actors because this musical has the most toxic fanbase i’ve ever seen, both in the outsiders community itself and the broadway community

i wish they kept the part from la jolla where pony was talking to johnny about his nightmares of his mom

i fucking hate deaths at my door so much

i actually like that they changed how dally died in the musical

i wish josh’s dally got more attention because people seem to only care about daryl tofa’s dally and only talk about his but never josh and josh is so talented and deserves to be talked about/portrayed in fanworks

we need more fanart of josh dally and renni steve

i actually really enjoy the costume pony wears with the faded will rogers shirt

i like that dally had a soft/nice side in the musical

brent comer was absolutely snubbed of a tony nomination

a lot of the characters feel watered down and the only character who actually got some substance was darry

they should’ve kept darry’s name as darry instead of darrel.

people need to be nicer to the actors and stop creating unnecessary drama because it’s tiring and lowkey drove me away from the musical fanbase

that’s all i have for now

[acid-ixx]

If you don’t mind me asking, what does your planning process look like for your chapters and what do you write first?? I’m trying to write my own Ybatfam fic rn but I just don’t know what to add to my chapters and really just how to start them.

I love your work, your really the one who inspired me to try writing my own🩵🩵🩵

hii anon !! i'm glad u asked this, though i am no way an expert in writing, i've been doing so for years now and i've learned quite a lot from it. thanks for asking this and i hope this is comprehensive enough 😭

so when it comes to planning for a chapter, or just a one-shot, i always write out what i want to establish within it. ask yourself; what does the chapter center around? would it be the relationships with characters, or the emotions you want to portray, is it angsty or just hurt/comfort? in planning, i write the general gist of what will happen through the entire thing (read: planned fanfics) before i move on to outlining.

and here, outlining helps like a god. i like to separate a chapter into multiple parts, and combine them altogether in the end. so when it comes to outlines, i just write out what i want to write and not the actual dialogue or actions in it (example: in this scene, jason tries to talk it out with you, you fight back and force him to let you out. in the next part, you're of the apartment and near to breaking down, you don't notice two sets of eyes watching over you).

sometimes, if i'm ever stuck i just write in the middle or the end because it helps me establish a flow and the build up.

also, setting the settings, changing the atmospheres, adding parallelism, and using figures of speech (simile, metaphors, personifications, etc. (e.g. conner knows you're perfect, with just how the flowers at the manor sings for your presence or how the beams of sunlight always directs itself at you)) are really helpful for when my writing feels dry or doesn't feel as compelling. it's not always required but it helps adding flowery (but not-so much) words or relating characters into objects with symbolisms to give readers an even deeper insight of who the characters is and why they are like that.

writing for the actual chapter, even starting it is always going to be the hard part. it's like starting an essay, but i suggest treating it like an essay— what do you want to focus on? always remember that the start of a chapter helps set up the mood and pacing of the story, so whether it'd be action packed or something lighthearted, reflect it upon the flow of your words too.

start with an interesting hook, whether it'd be rhetorical questions or digging deep into a character's personality and diving into specifics about it, have key points and expound upon it; and always take note of the atmosphere of how your entire story should be, show it through actions, reactions, gestures and dialogues.

otherwise, i've not much to say but take your time and don't pressure yourself with trying to achieve perfection. i'm pretty much someone who likes to write out my ideas before the actual planning so most of the time i wing most of what i want to write (loving family, unpalatable desire is a product of it) and hope to god that whatever outcome will be decent.

and thank you so much anon for finding me as an inspiration 🥹 it's unbelievable, the amount of support i mean— and if you ever do wish to post your own fic and feel doubtful of it still, you can always also chat me through my chatbox here in tumblr since it's pretty much open for anyone.

[serbarris]

I'll Crawl Home to Her 

Dragon Age: the Veilguard, some spoilers for plot, spoilers for Emmrichs romance  Pairing: F!Rook (Mourn Watch) x Emmrich Volkarin  Rating: M   Summary: Eight significant times Emmrich Volkarin called Rook by her real name. 

Length: ~2500 words

Read on ao3 here! 

Emmrich Volkarin first called Calliope ‘Rook’ Ingellvar by her name before she went by Rook. 

“Miss Calliope,” Emmrich called over the heads of the handful of students leaving his classroom. At the sound of her name coming from her favourite professor, Calliope instantly flushed and motioned to some companions that they should go ahead without her. “A word if you don’t mind.”  

“Yes, Professor?”  She asked biting her lip. Professor Volkarin was her favourite, not just for his fantastic necromancy skills, or how eloquently he explained such fantastic concepts, but he was also very attractive. At age 35 his hair was greying at the temples, lending him to look even more distinguished than his carefully put-together clothing suggested.  

“I’ve heard from others about your certain... proclivity, to have some ‘adventures’ outside of the Necropolis,” Emmrich began, shifting her paper to the top of the pile, noticeable stains and grease marks littering the off-white sheets. A disapproving frown crossed his face. “I will ask that your future work be submitted with less detritus than the most recent assignment.”   

Calliope looked at her paper and a brighter red coloured her cheeks and chest, “Of course Professor, I’m so sorry. I swear I don’t usually do work outside of the library, but something happened with –.”  

Emmrich held up his hand to stop the ramble from leaving Calliope’s mouth. A soft smile graced his lips, “Not to worry, my dear, but your work is excellent and you should take pride in it. Now please, I have taken up so much of your time already, run along and join your friends.”

 

The second time Emmrich says her name it’s when they meet again, 15 years later. 

Rook had yet to admit to Bellara, or Myrna and Vorgoth, that she did indeed know Professor Emmrich Volkarin, and of his work. Luckily her time away from the Watchers had helped steel her emotions, calm her once easy-to-flush cheeks, and made lies flow smoothly, but she had been anxious all week in the lead-up to their Necropolis visit. Bellara even commented on her makeup that morning, making Rook flush and attempt to wipe some away with the back of her gloved hand.  

-  

“Rook! Lovely to meet a fellow Watcher,” Emmrich exclaimed as he gripped her hand, shaking it politely. “I must confess I apologise if I have you confused, but Myrna had mentioned a ‘Calliope’ to me?”    

Calliope’s face dropped from her measured welcoming smile to a startled expression. Letting go of Emmrich’s hand, she attempted to speak voice unsteady, cheeks flushed. “Uh, yes Professor, Calliope Ingellvar. My friends call me Rook. It uh, caught on in the year since I left the Necropolis.”  

“Ah, no worries, my friend. I shall follow suit.” Emmrich turned with a flourish, leading Bellara and Calliope to the Belfry. Calliope internally kicking herself over the interaction.  

The third time Emmrich said her name was after they shared tea in the Memorial Gardens. 

“Speaking of home, have we really never met around the Necropolis before? Even in passing?” Emmrich’s eyebrows raised as he asked the question. Rook’s eyes widened feeling like a halla in the lamplight. An uncomfortable feeling churned in her stomach as she debated how much of her past to reveal. Especially, how enamoured she was with Emmrich as a young adult.  

“Oh um, I don’t remember everything from my scholar days. I only took a few advanced classes. Got too... busy.” Rook’s mouth dried at the admission. It was a half truth, she remembered nearly every moment of her schooling, growing up with the senior Watchers as guardians, and more books for company than friends, she was in advanced classes at a younger age than many of the other Watchers her age. 

“You know, I’d heard we had a young Watcher getting into scrapes on the streets of Nevarra around then...” Emmrich mused, Rook could almost see the cogs whir in Emmrich’s brain as he searched his memories for a young Rook.  

“They weren’t scrapes! They were... extracurricular learning opportunities.”  

“Aha! That's it! Calliope, you were in my Advanced Fade Studies and Etheric Flows class!”  

Hearing her name from Emmrich’s mouth took her breath away. She had rather hoped he wouldn’t remember her from her scholar years. Calliope couldn’t deny the butterflies fluttering in her body as he remembered her, almost regressing to her 16 year old self, and she endeavoured to change the topic from herself as quickly as possible.  

“Yes, I... your class was most enlightening Emmrich, but I couldn’t help but hear you mention homesickness?”  

The Fourth time Emmrich says her name, it’s a revelation. 

Fighting on the beaches of Rivain always pissed Rook off. It was always too hot, and too sandy. She hated the sand in Rivain, it felt... so coarse compared to the finely milled sand that tracked through the Necropolis. Of course, the scenery of Rivain was stunning and the smell of the ocean air was refreshing, as long as the Antaam weren’t burning gaatlok in her general direction.   

Rook dove for the gaatlok-armed Antaam, pushing her body to flip and attack the hulking Qunari with her imbued daggers. Necromancy pulsing from her hands as she struck true. Pulling her weapons free she could hear Emmrich and Taash finish off the last of the Antaam soldiers who had ambushed them.   

“They just seem to be around every bloody corner here, don’t they?” she exclaimed, wiping her daggers on her bloodstained clothing.   

“Until we can get to the Dragon King,” Taash remarked. The team had tried to track down the Dragon King to no avail, however his poorly planned traps had to lead somewhere.   

“We’ll get to him soon enough Taash, then you can set him straight on Dragons having queens!” Rook stretched to pat Taash on their shoulder in consolidation. Suddenly a loud explosion pierced Rook’s ears, throwing her to the ground some distance away from where she stood. “Calliope!” Emmrich shouted over the ringing in her ears, she felt sand being kicked near her face as Emmrich’s familiar boots came into frame, and a distant squelching noise of an axe being buried into a body barely registered. “My darling are you alright?” Emmrich asked, sending his warming magic over her body to check for internal injuries.  

“I think I’m okay, can you help me up?” Emmrich slowly manoeuvred her to sit, taking stock further before helping Calliope to her feet. He gripped her waist tightly to keep her steady as she threatened to sway, waiting for Taash to make their way over. 

“Hey, Emmrich.”  

“Yes, Taash?” Emmrich was exasperated, whatever could Taash want at a time like this?  

“Why did you call Rook ‘Calliope’? She’s called Rook?”  

The Fifth and Sixth time Emmrich called her Calliope, she had a cold. 

Emmrich looked up from his desk to the sound of Manfred hissing and raising his tray, proud of his assortment of tea, soup and some bread. “Ah Manfred, have you prepared this for dear Rook?” A pleased hiss resonated through Manfred's skull, Emmrich straightened the papers on the desk and rose from his chair, peering through the windows above to where the sun was coming through the windows. “It is about time to give her another tonic. Thank you, Manfred, I can take this next door.”  

Emmrich gently knocked on Rooks’s door, hearing soft snores from behind, he quietly pushed open the door and rounded the middle of the room to the table closest to the sofa. The dim light from candles and the fade fish illuminating his path. Placing the tray down, he crouched down near Rook’s face, and gently rocked her, “Rook? My darling, it’s time to wake up.”  

A grumbling “Mmph” was the reply he received. “Calliope, I brought you some soup.” He drawled elongating her name, much like himself, he knew the food would rouse her from drowsiness. She was often second to the kitchen when food was served, her childhood in the Necropolis meant she often had to go without, and why she often picked up odd jobs around Nevarra City to purchase items that weren’t second or third hand.  

Calliope’s eyes slowly opened, blinking, she noticed even with her lying down and Emmrich crouching he towered over her. As she shuffled to extricate herself from the blanket and sit up there was a thud of a book dropping to the floor. On instinct Calliope reached for it, however Emmrich’s longer reach picked it up far swifter than her lethargic body could match.  The book read ‘The Obverse of Reality: Studies of the Fade in the Waking World.’ A soft gasp left Emmrich as he noticed the book as one of his very own works, Calliope’s copy was too well-thumbed and too battered to be from his own study in the Lighthouse. Calliope noticed his recognition of the title, her face becoming hotter despite the chill that cloaked her body after removing the blanket. “You never told me you have read any of my works, my dear.”   

A shyness crept over Calliope, her eyes darting away from Emmrich’s face as she replied, the congestion in her nose lending her voice a nasal tone, “Well, I was in this class, I had to get your book, it’s even a first edition!”  

“It must have been sixteen years since I published this –” Emrich mused,” I'm sure I’ve published much more recent findings on the Fade, especially since it started to thin.”  

“I like it, I can hear your voice as I read it.” Calliope started, her voice slowly getting quieter as she admitted, “It’s um – comforting, to read a book I know so well.” Emmrich rose from his crouch, placing a gentle kiss on Calliope’s forehead and moving to sit next to her on the sofa. His earthy scent relaxed Calliope instantly. “Well, how about I read some passages aloud as you eat my dear, I also brought another tonic, it should keep your symptoms at bay and allow you to rest.” Said Emmrich, motioning to the tray on the side table.  

Emmrich’s voice was gentle as he read, often musing on additions he would make to the text, or discussing Calliope’s scrawled annotations in the margins. Making note that she used tiny skull shapes to punctuate her ‘i’s’ and exclamation marks. After Calliope ate, she leaned back against the sofa, her head resting on Emmrich’s arm as he continued reading. Emmrich turned the page to the next chapter and Calliope stiffened as she saw the doodle on the page, Emmrich let out a deep chuckle, noting the words written in a loosely drawn doodle of an anatomical heart. Calliope swore she could almost feel every blood vessel in her face expanding, a beet-red flush falling over her face as she scrambled to close the book. Emmrich moved to hold the book far out of her reach, a devious glint in his eye as he drawled “Calliope Volkarin, eh?”   

The Seventh time Emmrich said her name it was to give a gift. 

“My dear, please sit still or else I shan’t be able to give this gift properly.” Emmrich teased. Of course, he’d give her the present no matter what. But after finally acquiring a fitting token of his affection, his love, he wanted to give it to Rook exactly as he imagined.   

Stepping behind her perched on his desk, he opened the soft bag that contained her gift, he peered around to ensure her eyes were tightly shut, letting out an exhale of satisfaction Emmrich moved Rook’s hair to the side, holding it tightly in his hands he twisted her hair up and out of the way, a wry smile on his lips as he pulled lightly on the bundle. Rook let out a gentle hiss as heat pooled in between her legs. “If you could please hold your hair?”   

Satisfied, Emmrich proceeded to undo the clasp of the necklace, threading it around Rook’s neck, his fingers ghosting over her skin as he did so. After it was joined, Emmrich’s fingers lightly traced the chain over her clavicle, placing tender kisses on the back of Rook’s neck. Rook felt the cool weight of the necklace on her sternum, reaching up to feel the pendant, gasping as she raised it into her view. Finely detailed skeletal hands grasped a large garnet, it was hard to tell upside down but it almost looked like the stone was vaguely heart-shaped. “Emmrich, this is far too much! I can’t imagine what it must have cost!” Emmrich paused his careful mapping of Rook’s neck with his lips and moved closer to her ear, his light stubble scratching lightly at Rook’s skin.  

“I saw this when we were back in Nevarra and I couldn’t resist picturing how it would look around your neck, Calliope.” Added to the ministrations on her neck, he knew the reaction she had to Emmrich saying her real name, how a delicious red painted her cheeks and chest, creating the perfect trail for Emmrich’s fingers to follow. Calliope’s squirms brought herself closer to Emmrich, her back hitting his chest as he gently grasped Calliope’s neck with one hand, his other tracing the long line of her tattoo down towards her soft lower stomach. His cool rings icy against her heat.  

“Emmrich” she gasped, breath hitching, reaching for the back of his neck, bringing him closer, and kissing him deeply. Soft moans emanated from the both of them, Calliope broke away inhaling trying to extricate herself from Emmrich’s grasp, but he tugged gently, coaxing her back to her original position. “Calliope, this is about you, my love.” 

The eighth time, wasn’t really the eighth time. By then Elgar’nan had been dead for nearly a year. Emmrich and Calliope had returned to the Necropolis, Emmrich to his shaping of young minds, Calliope to the library, her younger self’s sacred sanctuary. On occasion they would jointly lecture on what they discovered during their time fighting against the Evanuris, careful to still keep some secrets. Manfred was flourishing under the tutelage of the Mourn Watch, his curiosity leading to amusing stories over dinner.  

On this particular evening, Manfred had delivered a sealed note to Calliope, asking for her to arrive in the Memorial Gardens when the dinner bell tolls. 

The flowers in the Memorial Gardens seemed to burst with fragrance as Calliope entered. A bouquet of lilacs stood on the table where Calliope and Emmrich had their first real date when they first started to truly get to know each other. A wisp danced across her vision guiding her past the ledge where a small table was set, taking Calliope back to when they first visited the Memorial Gardens together for the mourning rites, eventually the wisp paused at the steps that led towards the grave covered in snaking Shroud’s Kiss. Calliope thanked the wisp and continued up the steps, and onto the pathway which was littered in a cacophony of flower petals, lilac and yellow beckoning towards the figure at their juncture. Emmrich closed the gap, eager to reach his beloved. “Thank you for coming my darling, I admit it is poor manners on my part for such short notice,” he said entwining his hands with Calliope’s. “Emmrich this is quite the surprise, what’s the occasion?” 

“Well my love, I -.” Emmrich started, clearing his throat. “Calliope Ingellvar, my dearest Rook. Would you be so mad as to agree to a lifetime with a besotted fool of a professor, and do me the honour of becoming Calliope Volkarin?” 

And that was probably the most significant time Emmrich said Calliope’s name. 

[whiteobsidian]

from cyra, to you

My struggle with LOA and how I overcame it.

During the summer (in 2020), around July I read a community post about the law of assumption, then I really did my research and had a better understanding of the law of assumption. It was quite fun and painful, I would read the same posts just to get reassurance that what I was doing was “correct”. Growing up with only listening to instructions made it a bit difficult to transition from the law of attraction to assumption. Though the law of attraction didn’t do  me any good.

When I got into the law of attraction in (last) december it was like a miracle had happened and I could change anything I “disliked” all by listening to some music online. I discovered those videos by accident, and I don’t regret it but I do regret abusing it and myself.  During quarantine + online school I was probably at my lowest point in life, I was depressed and scared and my anxiety had turned severe, especially as a black person during this period. I had also gained weight and my acne was worse than ever, In conclusion : I was insecure. Using subliminals was my escape from that, being so desperate to fit into today's beauty standards , I wasn’t doing myself any justice, I would get angry at the 3d for not showing what I wanted to see. I drank 2 liters of water a day, why wasn’t I getting results? I listened at low volume, why wasn’t I getting results? This mindset did change…. well kinda.

As I wrote earlier, I read a community tab from one of my favorite submarkes talking about how they used the law of assumption to manifest. I was obviously confused, I didn’t even know there were different laws/ ways to manifest. This got me into watching Hyler and Sammy Ingrams videos for a whole day straight. I was fascinated to say the least, and I was even more excited learning that visualization can also help you manifest, since I am a big day dreamer. A few weeks later, I had an instagram account and followed lots of coaches and accounts. I was doing self concept challenges and abundance challenges. I had manifested a lot of new things (clothes, macbook, food) but I wanted something more, something I saw as “BIG”. You might've already guessed : appearance changes.

I didn’t want to change for me, I wanted to change so I would be treated differently, that I would have a better life with prettiness. I had a ugly mindset and this ugly mindset told me I was ugly, I never really thought I was an ugly person before and I'm questioning why I ever thought I was in the first place, I had completely changed and it scared me, I was desperate. I would get mad when I didn't see what i wanted, this led me to repeating the old story over and over again. It took me longer than I expected to get my appearance changed because I had doubts. The 3d is a reflection, a movie of your thoughts. All I needed to do was to change my mindset on how I saw myself. 

Self Concept

Self concept changed my whole view on manifesting and honestly myself.  Your self concept is how you see yourself, how others treat you, how you see the world etc etc, for example if you believe that men or women treat you badly then it's going to reflect your reality. I had a lot of old  thoughts and assumptions that would mold into the 3d. Remember that no one is going to manifest for you, you have to do this yourself, know you are powerful, beautiful, and smart. Nobody can change these beliefs you have set in your mind except you. You need to work on yourself. 

Techniques and Methods

i’m going to put this out now, you DON'T need to do any methods or techniques to get “faster results” do whatever makes you feel comfortable, if you're new to the law of assumption feel free to try any techniques you're interested in, just don’t be pressured to. It's not mandatory to do all this extra stuff, unless you really want to. 

Timing

I know that all of us want our results to come quick, instant even and it is possible, but only unless you truly believe that. Know that your affirming is going to work and that your results are already there, if you are affirming for quick instant results, know that you will get quick and instant results. You don't necessarily have to believe in your affirmation, you just need to believe that what your doing is going to work. If you've been affirming and listening to subliminals for months and you're still “not” getting results it's not the 3d, it's you. 

Why?

You can manifest anything you want, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise but question yourself, why? Especially if it's an appearance change, I hope you're manifesting an appearance change because you're doing it for YOU. Not for validation, or to actually “feel” pretty. You are a powerful being, don't let others determine your self worth or determine who you are. 

Apply

Manifesting is simple, especially in the law of assumption, all you need to do is affirm, persist, and know.

Affirm for what you want 

Persist in that thought over and over

Know that your thought will materialize into the 3d no matter what

STOP over consuming info online, I don’t care if a loa creator posted, I bet you already know what it's about by the title. Stop going on instagram and tumblr just to read things you already know, if you're really that impulsive then delete the apps! Don’t waste all your time for reassurance to see what you're doing is right. There is no right or wrong, just manifest.

Have fun!

Have fun when manifesting, don’t make it seem like it is a chore or it's that pile of homework that's sitting around in your room. Think about it, you can manifest your dream life by just thinking, I want you all to have fun when manifesting, enjoy it! Know that you have everything you want all just by assuming!

Remember, you’re one of a kind <3

with all my love, 

xoxo cyra, 111 222

ps. I did manifest an appearance change (and everything else I wanted), all by working on myself! :)

[monstersinthecosmos]

First, you write a lengthy post claiming that Marius treats Armand like an animal, and then you wonder why Armand and Marius shippers are seen as outcasts in the fandom. You present humiliation, disrespect and devaluation as something sexual and normal in their relationship. There is a difference between not seeing Armand as an adult and independent person and not seeing him as a person at all. Like, you're literally doing ALL the work for the antis, LMAO.

If Marius sees Armand as a cat, then maybe he shouldn't be left alone with animals

just saying.

Like, 'Armand, Marius picked up a shepherd dog from the street today. You both share the same level of love, respect, and significance! 😍 But don’t be upset; being someone's dog can be great! And remember, you actually like it! 🥺'

BEST GASLIGHTING EVER

Maybe he’s okay with this situation because he doesn’t remember what real kindness feels like? Roleplay in bed for the sake of temporary humiliation is one thing, but to see someone you’re in a romantic relationship with as nothing more than an animal is just messed up. What are you even talking about? 😭

Yknow what.

I’ve been marinating on this all day and thinking about ways to respond kindly, because I think leveraging literacy at people in fandom arguments is really fucked up and that isn’t the person I want to be. I've even had my own journey in VC fandom because when I first joined Tumblr, the big meta writers were condescending as fuck and used to make me feel really stupid for liking Marius, and that's such a destructive and unwelcoming attitude. It took me a really long time to feel brave enough to even share meta, because of those folks, and now I have to worry about you chodes. And it's just a never ending Sisyphean task to cultivate a space where Marius fans feel safe. And that's for EVERY Marius fan, not just the ones you deign pure & good enough to exist. In fact, it even goes for all the book fans in general. I don't give a fuck if someone likes Marius--everyone is allowed to participate if they're not going out of their way to hurt people. You're an adult. Block people and curate your space, it's not my job to do that for you.

Everyone, at every reading level, is allowed to participate in fandom, and I think we can’t be true leftists if we don’t acknowledge the education problem in the US. (Assuming you’re American because Americans Feelings Yakuza tend to behave like this but if you’re not American, good job blending in, it's really embarrassing for you.) I don’t think I can ethically condemn the degradation of our education system and I don’t think I can condemn this sect of fandom’s violent anti-intellectualism if I don’t also show sympathy for its victims. I'm really sorry that your parents/teachers/whoever failed you this badly and I hope things get better for you, because I don't wish this on anybody.

So when I turn into a cunt in thirty seconds, I want you to know it’s not because I think you’re stupid. It’s because I think you’re a fucking asshole. <3  And I don’t care what the fuck your problem is, it’s YOUR problem, and we don’t have to tolerate this type of thought policing and fascism in a fandom space. You don’t get to talk to me like this just because you don’t like stuff that I write.

Having said that, I also am just, particularly fucking baffled by how incoherent and ideologically unsound this ask is, not to mention how blindingly, willfully ignorant it is. Like, I hate to say this, but it’s SO stupid that I almost can’t believe someone would actually say this to me, and it makes me wonder if you’re like, an outside agitator pretending to be one of these Mariusblr morons to bait me. So I wondered if I shouldn’t validate it with a response, but then I thought,

Fandom deserves to see this lol

You actually did a good job of imitating this attitude that I DO see, for real, in this fandom, so like maybe it’s a public service to bait me to get me to talk about it. So I guess I will.

Now, I did talk about this topic here and I said what I need to say. I already said everything I needed to say on the topic of doting upon the cute little mortal, and to send me this anon after reading that post, the reading comprehension is either ABYSMAL or you’re just pulling an OH SO YOU HATE WAFFLES on me which is like. Why. Lol.

And I can’t help someone who’s determined to misinterpret everything I will ever say, no matter what. But again, I’m kinda posting this as a fandom PSA because this is a great example of the braindead nonsense that goes on in Mariusblr and I think the people deserve to laugh at you lol, so if you want to misinterpret me some more, I can’t help you.

We’re not gonna discuss Marius in this post. What we’re going to discuss is the idea that “””THE ANTIS””” are out to get us, and the irony of couching anti hysteria in this exact message.

So let’s go back to basics and refresh on what the fuck a fandom anti is.

So when you talk about FANDOM ANTIS, I actually have to ask: Babe are you seeing yourself right now? Are these antis in the fucking room? Is the call coming from inside the house?

You don’t get to have a little bit of censorship, or a little bit of harassment.  If someone outside of our fandom saw this post, without the existing context of who Marius and Armand are, they’d think YOU were the anti for telling me how to interpret this ship, not to mention whatever the fuck is this weird kinkshaming. Censorship is bad, full stop. It's not, censorship is only bad when it's the thing I like. Same for leaving people twatty anons. Bullying people is still bad, and you don't get decide who deserves it.

You don’t get to cry about antis and then pop into people’s inboxes to ridicule them because they didn’t read the book the same way you did. You don’t get to lecture me about kink and ship dynamics. YOU ARE NOT FIGHTING ON THE SIDE YOU THINK YOU’RE FIGHTING ON.

And isn’t it ironic that I’ve been Mariusing on tumblr for like, unfortunately, eight fucking years now lmao RIP, and I’ve been harassed about Marius MORE by you fuckin dweebs than I have by the actual antis.

Now, again.

I never want to tease anyone for their reading comprehension. I’m not making fun of you. I’m gonna spell this out because I want to help you, because I can see that reading isn’t your strong suit.

The fight about antis & proshippers & censorship is not a crusade about character apologism and defending ships as being moral, it’s about distinguishing fiction from reality and allowing people to enjoy fucked up art.

You aren’t accomplishing what you think you’re accomplishing here. Like, first of all. I don’t give a single flying fuck about “”the antis””. Let them masturbate in abject shame in the privacy of their pitch black bedrooms. It’s not my business. What horrifies me here is that you yourself are the anti in this situation.

You are in my inbox scolding me for my amoral shipping.

You are in my inbox upset with me because I celebrated that a ship I like is fucked up.

A proshipper would’ve read my post and gone “Eh. I disagree but that’s okay.” And kept scrolling. Maybe they even block me! That’s fine too!

But how the fuck are you gonna sit there crying about antis when you’re the one harassing everybody lol.

And let’s not jerk off here; the sincerity with which you are complaining about antis in my inbox is SO fucking lame. Like can we please go outside?

I’m no stranger to fandom drama (like I said, I’ve been Marius Tumbling for like 8 years and I’ve done my time in Sheith Hell) and I understand when these terms are useful shorthand for a fandom-specific problem. But I also think, what if we grow up and speak honestly about what antis are? It really blunts the harm of the entire ideology, especially when you're misusing it this egregiously, and I think there are times when we deserve to take censorship and fascism seriously, because it's not a coincidence that it's spreading inside fandom at the same speed it's spreading outside in the real world, and I want you to think really hard about which side you're on.

Like, what if we use the term “conservative” or “Frollo” or “fandom police” or “FANDOM MAGA” ?? You come to me upset that I’m somehow giving some boogeyman ammunition when like. THEY ALREADY HATE MARIUS, WHO THE FUCK CARES. When you change the topic from “Fiction is allowed to be fucked up” to “It’s okay to like Marius because he actually didn’t do anything wrong” you’re COMPLETELY missing the point, and in the same motion you are upset with ME for implying that Marius did something wrong.

And it’s so fucking hypocritical? Like this is the same as when the fandom conservatives have ACAB in their bio while also harassing people--you are adopting language to fit into an identity when you don't actually understand what you're saying. I would've thought VC fans--especially Marius fans--would be more aware of cult behavior & groupthink and see the red flags more easily. (Again, having sympathy for you: Please escape this cult.)

How often do we see arguments break out in fandom where we go “If you’re upset with Marius, why aren’t you upset with everyone else?” Or like, I CAN ACCEPT THE MURDERING AND RAPE BUT DRAW THE LINE AT WHIPPING THE 17 YEAR OLD. Like. Where do YOU draw the line?

Is it okay to talk about Marius as a murderer? But we’re not allowed to say that he has some emotional problems? Also didn't one of you chucklefucks accuse me of being ablest lmao the irony.

It’s also fascinating that this camp in fandom is constantly crying about how like, antis DON’T UNDERSTAND ANNE RICE and how MARIUS/ARMAND IS CANON and yet …………………. Was anything I said not also canon? And where do you get the balls to use Anne Rice as a shield when she also said the same things that I said. She wrote the fucking book.

You know what.

I feel really strongly that like, in a fandom, people need to have better etiquette when they complain about THE THING vs THE FANS OF THE THING. For example, I have zero problem with someone coming out of TVA disgusted and triggered and writing analysis of Marius being a disgusting creep. We don’t have the right to tell someone not to feel that way.

What I DO have a problem with is when people say “Marius is a disgusting creep and his fans are gross for enjoying it.”

And what YOURE saying, essentially, is that I’m gross for enjoying Marius in the way I read him.

Not to be like, a fucking, egomaniac, but. I have to say this lol. Do you know who I am?

Are you new here?

Have I not worked hard enough to establish that he’s my favorite literary character of all time and I adore him to death?

But I have different headcanons than you so I’m a bad person?

Anyway.

This has gone on long enough, I think I’ve made my point.

I genuinely can’t tell if someone like ChatGPT’d this anon to me just to rile me up and get me mad at that side of Mariusblr, but the truth is that like. I’ve seen them say these things. I’ve been blocked by these folks. Every time I write meta where I acknowledge that Marius isn’t perfect, they vague me to fuck. So honestly like. It’s not out of the range of possibility and I’m going to take this opportunity to talk about it because some of us are fucking normal about a book and we just want to have fun and post meta and write fics and like. If you don’t like my meta and fics you can simply move along.

And you know what else!!

WE ALL SEE THIS. You make fandom uncomfortable for everybody. Every time I do acknowledge this, I get people in my inbox talking about how uncomfortable you’ve made them and how they became hurt and decided not to share in fandom anymore. That’s you doing that. It isn’t ~ the antis ~. It’s you, because you don’t let anybody enjoy the books the way they want to enjoy the books. And I think it’s really interesting that I’ve noticed that half of fandom sort of cannibalizing itself lately. And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that  this whole group of clowns blocked me around the same time, when their jackass ringleader originally got mad at me for flagrantly misunderstanding something I said. This is that same abysmal reading comprehension and violent anti-intellectualism coming back to bite you in the ass. And so like, I have to also ask, if you have some issue with me, maybe consider the source, and if this person is perhaps a complete douchebag who will cannibalize their own friends the second they step out of line. And I wonder if there are any receipts for my alleged atrocious behavior, or if I was always just minding my own business and writing fanfic and sharing meta and being nice to people, and encouraging people to ship whatever they want, and allowing people to read the book differently than I did.

You don’t get to tell people what type of content they’re allowed to create. If you’re very concerned about how people read Marius, maybe write your own meta. This is MY space, not yours, and you’re not going to kinkshame and censor me, and you’re not going to bully me.

This is ridiculous and you’re a joke.

[sturnina]

🕷 — "fuck the feds"

Spiderman!Chris x Delinquent!reader AU Part two to Spray Cans and Web Shooters

— summary;; Chris regrets overreacting (that's legit it, I'd planned a lot more but it just doesn't work, and I need to post this now since I'm referencing it in the next oneshot lol)

— wc;; 744

— trigger warning;; none! (yet)

— author‘s note;; IMPORTANT!! I'm making this a blurb / oneshot collection. Most of the parts can be read individually, except when a specific part one is linked at the top :)

Chris knows the web fluid will dissolve in not even an hour, and get weak enough to be removed in about half an hour. But what he did was stupid, so stupid. What if the police decide to go check the building just that minute? Or what if literally anyone else arrives while she’s there stuck to the wall?

Guilt is nagging at him from the insides, making his stomach twist while he lands on a transmission tower. God, he can‘t do anything right today, can he? Especially after his brothers were especially rude and annoying all day, he was so excited for some alone time.

But before he can decide to turn around or run away, a motorbike nears the railway station. He drops a little lower on the tower, hiding between the cables, and watching the biker stop a bit further away than the girl’s bike is, hiding the motorbike from anyone travelling the road.

From here, Chris can barely see the biker‘s silhouette as they walk over to the fence, a small bag slung over their shoulder, and dive through the hole in the fence, entering the area of the station. It isn‘t recognisable whether it‘s a guy or a girl, but Chris follows them anyway, swinging back to the roof of the station.

The second the other person enters, he hears talking, which calms him down. Well — to be quite honest, he maybe wished he could save the girl inside. Just a bit. To make up for sticking her arm to the wall. He hates the thought that she might dislike him now.

Knowing that she‘s safe, there‘s nothing left to do for him, except for driving himself mad by overthinking everything and everyone. What is wrong with him?

Chris returns to the railway station the next evening—this time, after finishing his patrol, in the middle of the night. His first thoughts when he looks inside are, Well. At least the girl wasn’t too traumatised after yesterday.

How does he know?

There is a huge new graffiti on the wall, painted in red, black and white. His Spiderman mask, with a sentence in fat lettering across it. “fuck the feds,” it says, and, despite the meaning, Chris has to admit, it doesn’t look all that bad. Pretty good, actually. The web pattern on the mask is accurate, and the letters are woven into it, but the elements don’t blur, even though it’s all just red, black and white. It looks trippy, almost.

He admires it for a while before remembering that he should be offended. But on the other hand, he deserves it.

“Turned out pretty accurate, didn’t it?” a voice behind him asks. Chris turns around, still hanging on the thread. He isn’t startled, his spider sense having warned him way before he heard the girl.

“It’s pretty fire,” he admits.

She’s wearing the piece of fabric again, just about covering her lower face. The rest of her clothes are casual. Unrecognisable.

“What’s up with the mask?” he asks, elegantly dropping to the ground. Her eyebrow quirks up, and she crosses her arms in front of the black hoodie.

“You cover up your face too,” she points out the obvious, “am I not allowed to?”

“Fair enough.” Not wanting to stand around awkwardly, he uses his webs to swing over to the wall, until he’s walking on it as if it were the floor. “You did this?”

“With help,” the girl admits, “but yeah. Was my idea.”

“I wonder where you got it from,” he hums, crouching down on the wall and running a finger over the dry paint.

“I don’t know, totally not because I spent an hour taped to the wall because of the city’s hero.” The way you say it sounds like you’re putting it in quotes. Chris sighs at that.

“Yep. Sorry ‘bout that. I had a bad day.”

“That’s the explanation? You know, fun fact, chaining people to a wall and forcing them to stand up for days was a torture method in the Middle Ages.”

He raises his upper body, leaning against the wall. “Okay, I get it. But I’m not a Federal, so the text is wrong.”

“Oh yeah, I‘m sorry,” the girl says sourly, brows furrowing. “The independent hero who always does what he thinks is right. A bit stereotypical, dont’cha think?”

Chris sighs. He’s getting nowhere like this, the girl is too stubborn. Why does he even care about making things right with her?

— tags;; @fallininlust @bluestriips @wh0remikasas @ilusa @izzylovesthetriplets (tell me if you want to be tagged <3)

[smilingformoney]

Sharing Part X | Eli/Reader

Summary: You wake up hungover in Las Vegas with Eli to find you’ve done something you thought you’d never do.

Read on Ao3 or below the cut:

You fumbled with the hotel key, struggling to aim it properly from a mixture of drunkenness, eagerness, and Eli’s stupid massive cock impatiently pressing into you from behind.

When you finally got the door open, he grabbed you by the waist before you could step through.

“Gotta carry you over the threshold, don’t I?”

“That’s for a house, Eli, not a hotel room.”

“Ah, tomayto, tomahto.”

He heaved you over his shoulder, making sure to grab your ass in the process, and kicked the door closed behind him as he carried you into the hotel room before depositing you on the bed.

“There’s my smoking hot wife,” Eli said with a grin.

“God, Lionel is gonna kill me,” you laughed as Eli pulled a rolled-up piece of paper from his jacket pocket and flattened it out on the side table.

“Yeah, well, he shoulda married you first. Now you’re all mine.”

“I still get to be with him, don’t I?”

“Yeah, yeah, you still get to play out your fantasies of being whisked away by a rich businessman. Now, come on, get those panties off, I wanna consummate this thing.”

Obligingly, you kicked off your shoes, then slid your panties down your legs, making sure to leave your legs propped open nice and wide for him.

“Come on, then, husband. Show me your dick still works even when you’re shitfaced.”

Eli grinned hungrily at you as he began unbuckling his belt. “I’m gonna fuck you ‘til you’re begging me to stop,” he promised. “Claim that sweet little cunt of yours. Cum in all your holes, and on your tits too. Nah, you won’t beg me to stop, will you? Too much of a hungry slut.”

He didn’t bother with his shirt, or you with your dress. He climbed on top of you, exploring your neck with sloppy kisses, and just as you realised that the cock he was rubbing up against you was smaller and softer than usual, Eli’s weight dropped on top of you and he began snoring.

Typical husband behaviour.

***

When Eli woke up, he felt like he was being accosted on all fronts. His head was pounding, some asshole was prodding him in the shoulder, and worst of all, his back was cold because you weren’t spooning him. Why the fuck weren’t you spooning him?

Grumbling, he opened his eyes briefly, then quickly closed them again when the bright light of the morning sun glared into his eyes.

“Whuh?”

“Eli, wake up, you useless lump!”

That could only have been you.

“Fuck off,” Eli replied, pulling the duvet over his head.

He heard you sigh in frustration, walk away, and a few moments later the curtains were closed and he finally felt able to emerge from the duvet and push himself into a sitting position.

Eli yawned and rubbed his head. When the hell had you got back to the hotel room? The last he could remember of the trip to Vegas was arguing with you when you found him in a strip club with some of your guy friends. Maybe you’d come back to the hotel room for angry sex then he’d passed out?

“How’d we get back here?” he wondered aloud.

“I don’t remember,” you replied curtly. “Last thing I remember, I was in a casino with the girls, wondering where the guys had gone off to. Next thing I know, I’m waking up next to you.”

You were back at the side of the bed, a piece of paper in your hand, and Eli frowned, although privately he was pleased you didn’t remember finding him in the strip club.

“Whassat?” Eli asked, his voice still groggy with sleep.

“Read it for yourself.”

You handed the paper to him, and through the haze of his hangover, Eli mumbled as he read aloud:

“…did on the 23rd July 2013… join in lawful wedlock…”

His eyes widened.

Eli Michaelson and [Y/n] [L/n].

“Fuck.”

”Yeah.”

Eli looked up at you. “This is a joke, right? You’re shitting me around.”

“No, Eli, I am not shitting you around. It’s got the seal and everything. Apparently we decided to get married last night.”

“Jesus Christ. We can annul it, right? I mean, we were shitfaced, we can’t consent to marriage if we’re drunk.”

“What, don’t you wanna marry me?”

Eli scoffed. “In a heartbeat, sweetheart, but I think Lionel’d have something to say about that.”

“He doesn’t control me any more than you do,” you insisted, your arms folded stubbornly. “I can marry whoever I want.”

“Don’t annul it, then, whatever,” Eli shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant. “But you gotta make your mind up quick, we don’t have much time before we gotta head back.”

You snatched the certificate back from Eli.

“I think I’ll keep this, thank you very much. Gotta bring a souvenir home, right?”

You stuck your tongue out at him cheekily and started gathering your things from around the hotel room to pack up. Eli sank back into the mattress with a groan and pulled the covers over his face.

He must have fallen back asleep, because the next thing he knew, you were pulling the duvet off him, fully dressed and grumbling at him about being late.

Too hungover to argue, Eli rolled out of bed and shuffled sleepily over to the bathroom.

“I’ve packed up for you, there’s clothes on the dresser,” you said through the door as Eli brushed his teeth. He just grunted in response.

When he finally emerged from the bathroom, Eli threw something at you.

“You forgot these.”

You caught the object, and realised you’d left a pair of handcuffs in the bathroom from a few nights previously, when Eli had cuffed you to the shower rail so he could fuck you while he showered. You tucked them in your handbag and, when Eli was finally dressed, he grabbed his suitcase and slapped your ass.

“C’mon, sweetheart, don’t wanna keep our ride waiting,” he said, despite the fact he was the one who’d made you 15 minutes late already to meet your friends in the limo you’d hired to take you back to Stanford.

“Sorry we’re late, guys,” you said as you climbed into the limo where your friends were waiting.

“S’okay,” said Brandon, one of your fellow English professors. “We figured you were busy fucking.”

“Ah, shut up,” Eli grumbled as he sat down next to you. “Don’t remind me I ain’t had a morning fuck yet, else we might just end up fucking in front of you.”

You scoffed. “Yeah, right. Like you’d let any of them see my ass.”

Eli grinned at you. “That’s right, sweetheart. Only I get to see this ass.”

He cupped your ass cheek, and you rolled your eyes.

“I’m gonna get some sleep. Be my pillow?”

Eli gestured to his lap. “All yours.”

You shuffled your position on the limo’s couch so you were lying curled up on your side, your head resting on Eli’s thick thigh. You didn’t see him smirk as he looked down at you, but you did feel his fingers threading through your hair and scratching your scalp gently, and he saw you smile happily when you felt his quietly affectionate touch.

As the limo moved through the streets of Vegas headed back for Stanford, the vibe was much more subdued than it had been on the way in, since all of you were nursing hangovers. You felt yourself nodding off, and as you did, memories from the night before began to come back to you.

***

You couldn’t remember how you’d found out, but what you could remember was being mad as hell that Eli and the other guys were in a strip club. You barged in to the main dance floor, and sure enough, sat at the side of the main platform were Eli, Brandon, Harvey and Simon, all of them looking like they were having the time of their lives watching strange women gyrating on the stage in exchange for the singles the guys were throwing at them. You saw one of the girls approach Eli; they exchanged some words, he drew out a wad of cash, and she hopped down from the stage.

Oh, hell no.

Before the stripper could start anything, you dashed over and grabbed Eli by the arm.

“Put those bills back in your pocket, mister,” you hissed in his ear.

Eli looked up at you with unfocused eyes, clearly wasted, and grinned.

“Hey, look who’s here! You gonna give me a lapdance, gorgeous?”

“Fat fucking chance. Get your sorry excuse for an ass out of here, now.”

Eli didn’t seem to register how mad you were. Instead, he stood and followed you back outside, stumbling over his feet a bit, and as soon as you got him away from the entrance to the club, you whirled on him. He, being a horny, drunk idiot, thought he was about to get lucky, and grabbed your waist to pull you in close.

“Mmm, we don’t need to go back to the hotel, let’s do it right here —”

“I’m not fucking you in the street, you bastard,” you hissed, pushing back from him. Eli frowned, apparently confused, as he seemed to finally realise you were angry at him. “You’re lucky I fuck you at all after finding you in a fucking strip club!”

“Hey, I thought I was allowed to fuck about!” Eli protested with a slur, throwing his hands up innocently as he swayed on the spot. “That includes strip clubs!”

“Only when I’m away!”

“You mean when you’re off fucking Lionel,” Eli scoffed. “You can’t tame me and you know it, sweetheart. We ain’t married, so I can do what I want.”

“Oh, yeah, like that ever stopped you before. How many times did you cheat on Sarah, huh? You sure you only had the one bastard?”

“Sarah couldn’t keep up with me! Fucking frigid as shit, she married me knowing I love to fuck. Is it any surprise I had to go find something else when she wouldn’t put out? But you - god, you’re worse than me some days.”

Eli’s dick was apparently doing the thinking again, because his hands were back on your waist, but instead of pulling you close, he pushed you up against the wall, his body pressed against yours.

“I could fuck you all day and you’d still want more. God, you’d be a fucking perfect wife. Shame you’re too much of a slut, huh? You’d never commit to one man. So why should I commit to one woman?”

“You think I wouldn’t wanna get married?” you retorted. “I’d marry you in a fucking heartbeat if you asked.”

“Then I’m asking,” Eli said firmly, his hips pressing against yours as he held you against the wall.

“What —”

“Hey, what’s going on here?” said a voice.

You glanced over and saw a concerned stranger nearby, and realised suddenly the way Eli was pinning you against the wall looked suspicious. Eli seemed to realise too, because he let you go and stepped back.

“We’re fine, this is how we talk,” you said to the stranger. “Believe me, if I didn’t want it, I’d be kneeing him in the balls.”

“She fuckin’ would,” Eli agreed with a laugh. The stranger looked between the two of you, then seemed to believe you, as he went on his way.

Eli glanced around and spotted something across the street, then looked back at you, a mischievous smirk on his face.

“You mean that?”

“What, that I’d knee you in the balls?”

“That you’d marry me if I asked.”

You shrugged. “Sure, why not?”

Eli grabbed your face and kissed you sloppily, his breath stinking of beer and hot sauce, then murmured in your ear, “Prove it.”

You looked at him quizzically; he explained himself by pointing across the street, and through your drunken haze you could just read the neon glow of a sign: Uncle Al’s Quick-Stop Chapel.

You snorted with laughter. Surely he didn’t want a quickie Vegas wedding?

But the challenge in his face told you otherwise; he was daring you to say no. And goddamn, if there was one way for Eli to get you to do something, it was to dare you not to.

You raced him across the street.

***

When you woke up, you were groggy and still hungover, so you kept your eyes closed, appreciating the feeling of Eli’s fingers stroking your hair much more gently than he usually did.

“What’s the deal with you guys, anyway?” you heard Brandon saying. “You’re all over each other when she’s here, but I’ve seen online that she’s dating Lionel Shabandar.”

“She’s a greedy slut, that’s the deal,” Eli replied. “Couldn’t decide if she wanted me or Lionel, so we agreed we’d both have her. Spends six months there, six months here.”

“And you’re okay with that? Damn. No way I’d let my wife spend six months a year with another guy.”

Eli shrugged. “I’d love to have her all year round, but not if she’d be miserable ‘cus she missed him, y’know? Besides, I like to fuck around. That was the problem with Sarah, she just wasn’t enough for me but she wanted me to stay a one-woman man. [Y/n] lets me fuck around, so long as it’s only when she’s away. Same goes for Shabandar, he can fuck around but only when she’s with me.”

“You can’t keep that up,” Brandon said incredulously. “What happens when you start getting too old to fuck, huh? Or what if Shabandar decides he wants her all to himself?”

Although you didn’t see it with your eyes still closed, Eli glanced down at you to check you were still asleep. Not aware you were awake and listening, he said, “Don’t tell anyone this, but Oxford’s offered me a professorship. I’m just waiting for the visa approval before I turn in my notice or talk to her about it. No point bringing it up if they ain’t gonna let me in. Although —” He chuckled. “After last night, it might be a lot easier.”

“Why?”

“Nothin’.”

Eli smirked and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear to look at your peaceful face. He stroked the side of your face with a surprising gentleness, and you couldn’t help smiling. You blinked your eyes open and smiled up at him.

“Hey, you,” you mumbled. You stretched as you sat up, looking out the window of the limo, but the long stretch of California highway was indistinguishable. “Where are we?”

“Just coming up to Bakersfield. Probably four hours out. You sleep alright?”

“Mhm,” you replied, then laughed. “I, uh… I remembered last night.”

“Oh, yeah? What about last night?”

“Finding you in the strip club, for one!” you admonished him, slapping him playfully. “Think I got there in time, but it was a close call. You better not have wasted too much money in there, mister.”

“What would I do without you to stop me, huh?” Eli smirked. With a raised eyebrow, he said, “And do you remember what happened… after?”

You looked at him with a teasing smirk.

“Oh, yeah. I remember.”

Eli grinned and wrapped an arm around your waist to pull you in close. You leant your head on his shoulder, cuddling up to him. He kissed the top of your head and smiled.

On the other side of the limo, you could see Brandon purposely looking anywhere other than at you, while Harvey and Simon seemed to be having a snoring competition.

So Eli had a job offer in Oxford…? You were going to have to have a very serious talk with him when you were back in Stanford. For now, not wanting to make anything awkward for the other guys, you cuddled up to him in the back of the limo, listening to the radio as the driver took you all back home.

[d3vils-island]

I may have asked this already and if I have I’m so sorry to do it again but I forgot. Can you please write a fic about late 80s Dave taking readers virginity? I know some people bleed losing their virginity but please no blood if you do write this 🌝

The way I was so excited to write this…. Anyways, I hope you like it 😣🫶

First Time for Everything (86’)

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Dave Mustaine x Fem!reader

1,277

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Description: Your parents go out of town for a few days because of work, so you call up your boyfriend to come over and hang out since they’re gone…

Warnings: PORN W/ SOME PLOT?!?! (As always, I’ll mark with three “^” when the smut starts, which was hard af since this is basically just a smut post so idk why you’d read this if you don’t want smut…) p in v, reader is a virgin, first time for everything I guess, Dave is a sweetie <3, unprotected sex but everything’s alr I promise, blahblahblah idk what to put here

Side note: yes, I did change the title because I didn’t like what it was before.

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You patiently watched out from your window as your parents drove off, and once their car lights were no longer visible, you sprinted to the phone in the kitchen, snatching a sticky note you set down earlier on your way.

You pressed the receiver to your ear and started dialing buttons, making sure they were the ones matching the sticky note he gave you.

It started ringing, and a few seconds later, someone answered.

“Hello?” A familiar and deep voice said.

“Hey Dave, remember how I said my parents would be outta town for a few days?” You asked, twirling the phone cord around your finger and snapping it back. You heard him let out a low “mhm” from the other side of the phone.

“Well, they just left, so I was wondering if you wanted to come-“ “I’m on my way, I’ll see ya in a bit.” He interrupted, and you heard him hang up. You couldn’t help but smile at how excited he was to hang out with you.

You occupied yourself by watching TV, waiting patiently for your boyfriend to pull up.

You must have zoned out because you didn’t even hear the first knock at the door. It wasn’t until Dave called your name that you were snapped out of your trance. You ran to the door and opened it, being greeted by a familiar and handsome face.

“Hey baby…” he said, pulling you into a warm embrace.

You invited him in, and you two spent the night together talking away. Every second that passed while you two sat on the couch conversing, you seemed to inch closer and closer together.

First, your legs touched, the warmth barely grazing your skin. Then, it was your hands that intertwined together, after that it was your shoulders, until finally you laid on top of him, his hands on your head as he stroked your hair, twirling the locks between his fingers. Your hands laid against his chest as you listened to his heart beat. Occasional chit chat between you two interrupted the silence, but overall it was quiet, and the only thing you could hear was his calm breath mixed with yours.

^ ^ ^

As you laid on top of him, you slowly inched yourself upward, eventually coming face-to-face with him, having your hands on either side of his head. Your warm breaths mixed together in the frigid air, and the only sound that could be heard was your heartbeats. Dave’s hands slid to your waist, rubbing small circles on it with his thumb. Before you knew it, your lips were pressed together, tangled and molding as one. They seemed to move in perfect sync with one another, your tongues dancing in unison as his hands slid from your waist up your shirt. He then tugged at the hem of your top and you let him slide it off with ease before you positioned yourself so that you were straddling him more.

Your heart was pounding in your chest. You suddenly felt hot and your breath was staggered. Was tonight the night you’d loose your v-card? If there was anyone you trusted to loose your virginity to, it was definitely Dave, but you still couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous.

Dave noticed your uneasiness, “If you want to slow down, or if your not ready I understand-“

You don’t know what happened, but all nervousness that took over you washed away as you suddenly slammed your lips on his, tracing your hands up his shirt and feeling his muscles. It was probably the adrenaline getting to you, but you needed him more than ever in the moment.

“I’m ready.” You panted. Dave still had an uncertain look on his face, but he happily complied.

He sat up, grabbing your hips and picking you up off him so that you were the one laying down on the couch. He brought his lips onto yours again, and this time he started sliding your bottoms off just before you helped him take off his own clothing. You two were left only in your undergarments, groaning as you explored each other’s body’s. Dave trailed a series of kisses down your body, sliding your bra off in the process and interlocking his fingers with yours, pinning one of your hands to the side of your head against the couch.

“I’ll gonna go easy on you, since it’s your first time…” he paused, kissing you sweetly, then looking you in the eyes.

“If you ever want to stop, don’t be afraid to say something.” His genuine concern for your comfort and readiness made you feel more at ease. You let out a small nod, eyeing him back with a slight smile.

Dave began sliding his own boxers off, and you couldn’t help but stare at his hardened length. It was a lot bigger than you imagined, and you felt your excitement grow by the second. He waisted no time sliding off your own underwear, bringing your thighs onto his shoulders and making sure you were comfortable before he continued with anything.

He leaned down, planting a soft kiss on your forehead before he grabbed your hand again, interlocking fingers and rubbing small circles on it.

Dave leaned down to kiss you, and as he did, you felt him slowly start to shove his cock into you. It hurt at first, but you slowly got used to it. Once Dave was almost all the way in, he made sure you were ok before he continued. You soon felt him bottom out, and he gave you a minute to adjust.

His free hand slid up your body, its warmth contrasting with the cold air around you.

“Are you ready?” Dave asked, giving you a reassuring gaze. You nodded, feeling him start moving inside you. He tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, kissing you lovingly. Once your body got used to the feeling, you started begging Dave to go faster, to which he happily obliged.

Both of your hot moans filled the cold air, sweat started to bead across your body. You arched your spine and threw your head back, whining Dave’s name as you drowned in the pleasure he was giving you. He had his hands across your chest, molding your breasts before he started kissing them harshly, definitely leaving hickeys.

You felt yourself come closer and closer to the edge of your orgasm, seconds away from drowning in pure ecstasy as you begged Dave to go harder. He pulled you from the back of your neck into a deep kiss, both of you moaning into it as you felt yours highs nearing.

The wave of pleasure that you craved for suddenly crashed over your tired body, you felt your legs shake and your back arch more as you rode out for high with Dave still thrusting into you. You felt him pull out, seeing him stoke himself a bit before he released in your stomach.

Both of you stayed there for a moment, catching your breaths. Dave hazily got up and found a towel that was in your bathroom. He came back a second later and gently started cleaning up your frail body.

He put his boxers back on and aided you in puting your undergarments on. Dave laid on the couch and you laid against his chest, paying attention to the rise and fall of it as he breathed. Moonlight creeped through the blinds in the living room and you noticed Dave had his eyes close. You snuggled up closer to him, feeling at ease in his arms as you eventually drifted off to sleep.