#i don’t *want* to leave nor am i inclined to

[apollos-boyfriend]

the thing i’ve come to realize having been in this space for roughly 13 years now is i can never leave. it’s just one of those inevitabilities. you can take the minecraft server from the kid but not the kid from the minecraft server or whatever

[igotanidea]

Just right: Anthony Bridgerton x reader

part 1 to too much

part 2 : not enough

part 3 : almost there

part 4: Stuck

A/N: I am NOT sorry for all the possible spellings and punctuation mistakes there. It's been almost 2 months since "Stuck" and I am FREAKING OUT posting this while crying because it's over. Enjoy and thank you <3

Warnings: end of series, 4082 words (!!)

***

He felt like a fool.

Reverting to his old ways instead of showing all the emotions coursing through his veins.

Turning around and walking away, leaving her alone, when all he wanted was to fall to her knees and beg for forgiveness.

But how would the viscount Bridgerton look, while doing so, observed by all the ton, including the two biggest gossipers in the person of lady Featherington and lady Danburry?

Seemed like whatever he would choose to do, he would end up being a dolt.

“Anthony!”

He didn’t even flinch hearing someone calling him, nor recognize the voice. Too stubborn to stop he only continued his marching pace, hoping for the love of god that whoever dared to try and approach him in this furibund mood would get discouraged.

Not very gentlemanly of him.

“Anthony!”

He quickened his pace.

“Anthony Bridgerton!”

“What?” he almost spat spinning around on his heel, leaving a dent in the ground, taking on his most stern expression. If his obvious ignorance of the caller was not a deterrent perhaps the frown and fiery eyes would.

Supposedly it might have worked on anyone else, but soon enough Anthony transformed from the head of a family and the viscount into a little child, upon noticing that it was his mother, exhorting him to the halt.

“Mother…” he muttered looking at the ground, having only confirmed his previous theory of his role in this entire disarray.

“Let us take a walk.” Violet smiled brightly taking her eldest’s arm and imposing a walking rather than soldierly pace. “What did you Anthony?” the gentle expression never left her face even when she was scoffing her unmanageable child.

“Why would you think it was me that--?” the viscount took the last resort to protect his own pride, but the tightening grip on his forearm betrayed the fact that Violet knew the entire backstory, behind the marital disagreement.

“I raised you. I daresay it gives me enough knowledge to not answer your question. “

“If you let me –"

“Don’t, Anthony. Y/N has been nothing less but charming since the beginning.. "

"That's the way to describe her--" the man muttered

"Strong-willed and persuasive, surely, you wouldn’t take anything but, but charming nonetheless. So do tell me so we could remedy the damage before it arises further.”

“Shall you mistake me for Daphne and ask about my feelings—”

“Anthony Bridgerton!”

“I am a man, mother. A head of the family.”

“Clearly said head has been missing guidance in the right direction.”

“Mother!”

“Do not raise your voice on me son.”

“Apologies…”

“Good.” Violet beamed serenely “Do you think me so little knowledgeable to ask your emotions? I do not. I’m merely asking for facts, which you clearly have such a strong inclination to.”

Anthony mumbled something once more.

“do you wish you lose your wife, viscount?”

“What?” such possibility never crossed his mind. Y/N’s anger, her hurt, pain and merciless avoidance – yes. Abandonment and lack of her presence nearby? No. She would never… She could never. Lord above, who was she thinking she was? A woman married into a noble family wanting to cause a scandal by resenting her husband?

And once again, while his heart should have been shattered and humble enough to clarify the turmoil, the sudden blood rush turned into clenched fists and ire. All because he could not bare the thought of losing her for good, however hiding behind all the negativity was easier. It was something he was used to for years.

Nevertheless it was impossible to deny the facts further. It was her influence that caused the improbable openness in his soul was the exact same reason of his spirit bleeding.

And he needed her back.

Each minute without her was a minute lost. A minute less in the so very limited time they were given as a miracle on earth.

“What do I do?” he raised gaze at his mother, now truly looking like a lost man. Man in love, who was probably not the most romantic and gentle one with words, but still deeply infatuated with the woman who gave her whole life to him.

“Do not fret my dear. We shall alleviate the situation immediately.”

***

Y/N’s feelings were beyond anything possible to describe with words.

There she was, with her feet rooted to the ground, wishing for – and willing to accept – apologies but met with the harsh reality of the stone wall of Anthony’s behavior.

Accompanied by Eloise, smirking like the know-it-all she was, and Benedict with the compassion written all over his face.

Presumably, shall they not be there, the young lady viscountess Bridgerton would abandon all the pretenses of a woman of her position and begun blubbering in the middle of the promenade. However, the most mischievous of Bridgerton siblings acted with wit and sense, involving their dear sister-in-law in a challenging conversation, capably hauling her away from prying eyes and gossipmongers, preventing any possible rumors about incongruousness.

***

For unmistakable reasons she was not in the mood to see their ludicrous older brother and with the sudden disappearance of Violet, Benedict and Eloise took the privilege to invite Y/N back to the Bridgerton’s family house and extend the invitation for indefinite period of time. After all, Anthony might have been the head of the family as he proudly announced to anyone who was willing to disobey his wished and/or not listen, but Benedict was the oldest bachelor of the house and was more than willing to make a few decisions of his own to finally be seen as something more than merely second son and waiting for his time. 

***

Violet returned home few hours later and accepted the presence of her daughter-in-law with a mysterious smile and not a single word of objection. As amazing and uplifting as such approach might have been, it was also highly surprising. Viscountess Bridgerton was well known for her mitigating skills and tendency to scotch conflicts almost immediately, especially in her own family.

And it raised a lot of questions and secrets that Y/N and Eloise tried to uncover spending the night in the former’s bedchambers, talking for hours, creating conspiracy theories and preparing for whatever may have been coming.

Cause the fact that Violet was going to help her oldest son in winning back his wife’s attention was more than conspicuous.

Only that Y/N, who was forgiving and accepting at the begging was slowly turning cold at the fact that her husband could not simply apologize but rather resorted to some intricate ways of regaining her favor.

After a year of marriage, should he not know her enough for independent ideas and not seek his mother's avail?

***

First thing happening in the very early morning, was Y/N’s most trusted servant humbly asking for her lady’s time, which was bizarre and – as any other family may have deemed – inadequate and even shaming.

Moreover, any other house would quickly discard the commoner showing at the mighty's doorstep but Bridgertons were prone to discarding rules in private and with those who earned their trust. Be it servants or nobles. And Y/N was no exception to the rule, welcoming her maid with a smile upon seeing the person from her own household.

“My lady.” The girl bowed so low, she almost touched the floor with her nose.

“My dear Laura, please stand up, there is really no need for that-“ Y/N grabbed her hands and forced the girl up. “I assure you that-“

“But Lady Violet and Miss Bridgerton –“

“I assure you that they do not expect you to kiss the ground they walk on.” Y/n almost laughed at Laura’s discombobulation. Poor one was doing everything in her power to not make her lady embarrassed and act like a good and obedient servant, almost expecting Violet or Eloise to be cruel and judgmental.

“Dear Y/N, did you give your helpers the idea that we are some sort of tyrants?” Violet send her daughter-in-law a honest smile, which immediately got Laura’s reaction in the form of blushing.

“Lady Bridgerton I apologies if my appearance is the dishonor on-”

She didn’t even finish the sentence, met with Y/N, Violet’s and Eloise’s laugh and a polite look from more balanced Francesca sitting on the chaise longue.

“Do not fret, my girl, we are more than happy to welcome you in our household.”

“Tha-thank you my lady…”

‘Now I assume you came to talk to your lady, so we shall give you some privacy. Come girls, make haste for the matter to cover is of utmost delicacy.”

“And how shall you know it mamma?” Hyacinth almost twitched her ears, not really understanding much of why Y/N was with them rather than with Antony, but curious as a young girl could be.

“Precisely mamma, how shall you know?” Eloise, immediately picked up her sister’s question, only not so susceptible to extenuations.

“Eloise Bridgerton, I shall expect you to practice the bowing before your incoming debut in front of the queen. Daphne made quite an impression and –“

“Daphne was deemed diamond of the season and such title is below my ambition.”

“Regardless, you do not want to trip or slip do you?”

Eloise (and everyone else) obviously remembered what happened to Featherington’s sisters and the embarrassment so with a heavy, exaggerated sigh and one quick, sharp, bright look at Y/N Eloise left the room, followed by her mother and sisters.

And once the lady and her trusted eyes and ears of the house were alone, who could stop the two of turning a lot more unmindful of societal norms?

“My lady, the lord has been quite annoyed since the quarrel you lordships have had. He even refused to eat his favorite meal.” Laura confessed with blushing cheeks

“Are you to tell me that Prescott prepared the roasted pork for Anthony after he was so unjust towards the lady of the house? I shall have a word about a loyalty with him upon my return.” Y/N satirized wholeheartedly.

“When shall you return my lady? Seeing as that viscount is not the one to have a change of heart and admit his wrongdoing easily?”

“He will Laura. One way or another I am fairly convinced my husband may take a long way to do so and take the aid of his mother whilst deciding. It’s just I am not fully convinced if the apology made with cheating are worth accepting.”

“Oh! You took the lower route here my lady forgive the audacity.”

“Just the route of a woman who expect honesty from her man.”

“Fair enough I suppose. But shall you be agitated my lady I take it you do not wish to accept the viscount bestowment?”

“Bestowment?” Y/N frowned a little in confusion “and what shall that be?”

“I do not know, my lady. I am merely a messenger—”

“I believed you to be on my side Laura.”

“And I am, my lady! But one do not object the command of the lord, that is clearly ready to vent his anger on the first soul that happen to be unfortunate enough to be around.”

“My god, you are a prattler!” Y/N laughed “where is that gift in question? Cause since it is mine either way we might as well get a little curious, shall we? Would be such a shame to put it to waste.”

Laura stood up from her chair and started heading to the corridor, but Hyacynth was first to barge into the room carrying some parcel that was almost bigger than her.

“Y/N! Is this that gift from Anthony!?” clearly she was eavesdropping  “Can we take a look, please? It’s so big I wonder what it is? Come on, open it up! Open it up!”

“Curiosity killed the cat.” Eloise muttered but there was no denying she was equally curious as her sister.

Y/N only rolled  her eyes, inviting all the girls over and opening the box. Fishing out the most beautiful and definitely expensive new dress. The color was perfectly matching Y/N’s complexion and the material delicate yet durable – Anthony knew his wife and her adventurous tendencies.

“It’s so beautiful and elegant” Francesca whispered touching the dress with delight.

“So what, he think he can just buy her the garment and she will forgive him?” Eloise scoffed “Men are so simple minded and belittling of women!”

“Try it on, Y/N!” Hyacinth encouraged, almost jumping from excitement

“Do not try it on! This would be relenting!” Eloise objected.

“He made a gesture!”

“It’s not a gesture! It’s an attempt of buying her forgiveness!”

“Y/N!”

“Y/N?!”

“Quiet!” Y/N finally managed to break through the noise of two sisters. ““No offence girls, but this is my marriage and my decision. One I have to make by myself. So thank you “ she smiled brightly but with a hint of annoyance “for your positions on things, but I am perfectly capable of weighting the significance of the gift, on my conviction to forgive or not forgive him.”

“Uhm. My lady” Laura cleared her throat “I’d like to elaborate that the viscount also made an invitation to one special place….”

“Do not go Y/N!”

“Stop interfering Eloise! Y/N you have to go!”

“For heaven’s sake, Violet is truly a saint for surviving you two!” “Uhm. My lady” Laura cleared her throat “I’d like to elaborate that the viscount also made an invitation to one special place….”

“Do not go Y/N!”

“Stop interfering Eloise! Y/N you have to go!”

“For heaven’s sake, Violet is truly a saint for surviving you two!”

***

Anthony was waiting for her in the garden outside some estate she had no idea existed. After all, Y/N has spent her entire life in London, rarely being invited to the cottage. And in this case it could have been used a leverage, not that he was aiming for measuring forces and cold calculation.

No.

He was walking back and forth, almost trampling a path in the ground in a place where it should never be. Nervous enough to anxiously fiddle with his fingers like a lady before her debut entering the society. Hoping she would come. Wishing for any entity in heaven might want to listen that she would take this dress he send her as an expression of humility rather than boosting like a rooster. Praying that Eloise wasn’t there with her sharp tongue and unrestrained thoughts to discourage his beloved from accepting both the gift and the invitation.

The minutes turned to hours and even his father’s pocket watch refused to work with Anthony in this important moment. Having no regard to the poor flowers any other plants standing no chances against his heavy riding boots, the time seemed to stand still.

For whatever it was worth it, Anthony Bridgerton swore to himself that he would rather turn into a sack of boned waiting in this desolate place than walk away while there was still a glimmer of hope she might appear. He was done and fatigued with missed opportunities, poorly chosen and ill-spoken words.

It was never his intention to said all those atrocious words to her.

Too much.

Dear Lord.

Now that he was thinking about it, his heart was capering in a way that filled him with self-hatred. After all the pain he might have caused her during that little hurtful exchange while she did nothing more than be there for him. Even if he not exactly wished for it. Even if he himself didn’t know that her presence in his life was the best thing that happened since his father’s death. If not since forever.

Anthony wasn’t the one to believe in signs or any spiritual influence on earth, but the more he was dwelling on his own misery, the more deliberative of their first meeting he was becoming.

It was late lord Bridgerton’s death anniversary and as any other year – he separated himself from the rest of the family. To show how adamant his heart and mind was and to underline that this was nothing more than just another day in a line of any other similar ones. But the truth was, he wanted to visit his father’s grave alone without any possible disturbances or havoc that his younger siblings could have caused. None of them really knew Edmund Bridgerton the way Anothony did. The first born son, the heir to the title, deprived of his father’s guidance and presence and forced to take responsibility for the family in way too young age.

He needed to be by himself, cause god forbid anyone seeing him showing any signs of humanity and indulging in grief.

And his family knew and accepted it.

She didn’t.

Just a stranger, strolling by herself in the area, looking like a commoner, having no regards to the sanctity of the moment nor the place she found herself in.

And worse for her – spotting Anthony in the never-seen moment of vulnerability written all over his face.

“Lord Bridgerton” she bowed in a way that showed that the savage, Anthony took her for, actually had manners. And that he knew him, but this was not so unexpected.

He only grunted in response to annoyed by an unfortunate set of circumstances that worked against her. The viscount himself was not going to bow to a girl that was clearly a servant, with messy hair and in a dress that was far from anything a woman, even of lower position should be seen in.

“Don’t you have anywhere else to be, girl?” he muttered under his nose, throwing daggers with his eyes.

“I’m sorry my lord but-“

“You should be sorry. I am convinced your lady nor your lord will be pleased with the fact that their service wanders alone in an area that does not belong to them!”

“Service?” Y/N smirked looking at him with amusement and twinkling eyes. And Anthony with his youthful energy and virility could not miss the fact that she was actually pretty.

“Yes, service.” He hissed at her “now get out of here girl, before you get yourself in far more trouble from me and end up on the street!”

“I shall-“ she obviously was not going to let anyone maltreat her like that, but her acuity wore up that very moment. She noticed the weariness in viscount’s eyes, noticed the monument nearby, and realized what day of the month it was.

“Forgive me, my lord.” She bowed in respect “I shall be on my way. And I shall not mention this meeting to anyone, hopefully wishing for you to forget my impertinence.”

She was gone as fast as she appeared, and Anthony thought to never see her again.

Until the next rout Daphne was attending, where he actually did.

Immediately realizing the scope of his previous mistake, upon learning that the service girl was in fact Miss Y/L/N, the youngest daughter of Lord Y/L/N. And met with another look of those glistening eyes and amused face expression. Forced to accompany her for the evening, since apparently Lady Bridgerton and Lady Y/L/N has made some arrangements for the future.

He was thinking it was all just a coincidence back then, but now he came to conclusion that it must have been his father who send this girl into his life. Knowing better than him that she would turn his ways around, challenge him, test him patience mercilessly and yet – that she would be the one to love him unconditionally and whom he would love with all his broken and unperfect self.

And the burden of possibility of ruining it all for them was even more overwhelming.

He clasped his hands behind his back, walking shorter and shorter distances, turning back more and more often, stuck in his belief that he would stay here as long as she didn't show up, even if -

“Anthony.”

Viscount spun around so abruptly it almost caused him falling to the ground.

She came.

She truly came.

It was like meeting her all over again, back in time, back next to his father’s grave.

Only she wasn’t looking like a servant girl now.

She was wearing the dress he sent her, looking not only like a viscountess, but like a queen herself. His queen. His wife. His love. His everything.

Her skin was radiant due to the color of the material (just like Violet predicted), cheeks flushed, hair done in perfect curls surrounding her face, bright like a sun.

“Y/N….”

“It was so unwise on your part viscount to call upon me and invite me into a wild place a woman like me should never step foot on.” She said sternly, but the everlasting and never changing glistening of her eyes betrayed her true intention “and perilous, may I say? Far from the city? Lady travelling alone? So many hazards awaiting me on the way.”

“Benedict and Colin were following your post chaise.”

“Oh I knew I heard someone laughing on the way. But my coachman brushed my concerns off!”

“Did you really believed I would send my greatest treasure into the wild without proper security?” Anthony took a few steps forwards, reaching for her hands and placing gentle kiss on her knuckles.

“Your brothers?” Y/N let him show the courtesy, but raised eyes in skepticism of the words.

“Believe me my lady, you should never underestimate the man of the Bridgerton house.”

“In what aspect my lord?”

“In every aspect, dear.” He looked deep into her eyes.

“Why did you ask me to meet you here?” Y/N quickly averted her eyes, because Anthony’s gaze were so full of passion, love and genuine remorse and apology she found herself falling into his charms. And this couldn’t have been so easy for him. “You sister discounselled me on coming here.”

“And yet, you came my lady.” Anthony reached for her chin and slowly, gently and with tenderness turned her face towards him so that their eyes had to meet again.

“Anthony I –“

“My love, I am sorry.”

“this is not—”

“Let me speak” he hushed her, not breaking eye contact. “I asked you here, because this is the very place where my father asked for my mother’s hand. Where he pledged her his undying love, support and loyalty. And you, out of all people in the world, learned how much I cherish my father’s memory and his legacy.

“Anthony-“

“Therefore, here I am. Standing in front of you, expressing my deepest condolences-“

“Oh, dear lord, Tony!” she cried out in frustration “stop using the words you would say to me if Lady Whistledown were nearby! Tell me how you feel!”

How he felt was not with words.

How he felt was expressed by the way he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to his chest, capturing her lips in the searing but gentle kiss that conveyed more than any noble and dignified words of a lord could.

I love you.

By his strong arms encompassing her like a shelter from the storm.

I won’t ever let go of you.

By tender caress of her hair and back.

I will always cherish you.

By the way his lips were moving against her, whispering silent words understood only by two souls forevermore yearning for each other.

I am sorry.

She was the first one to pull back for air, reluctantly so.

“My love. My beloved.”

She smiled at him, connecting their foreheads, allowing his arms to tighten around her waist and waiting for what was coming next to assess the truth behind his words.

“Am I too much now?” she whispered

“You are always too much. To much for me to keep. To much for me to even wish and pray for. Too much of a blessing in my life. Too much in the best possible sense and—”

This time It was her who cut him off by a kiss, silencing anything else that might come from his lips. He was honest and sincere. And if he was trying to apologize by saying anything else and backing out on what he said back there she probably would not forgive him sensing manipulation. But this?

“I forgive you.” She whispered against his lips.

“Thank God.”

“Is this cottage inhabited or--?”

“No. It’s not. And I intend on taking advantage of it right this moment.” He grabbed her and carried inside bridal style, ready to not get back to London for at least a couple days.

(spoiler alert below)

I got a request for a fluff pregnancy fic.... <3

@pietrawebster @chrissisheadisinclouds @fuzzym4m4 @gloomysel @urfavnoirette @dd122004dd @milkbummm @bevstofu @taniasethi @syraxnyra @christinabae @pandoraneverland @bevstofu @topguncultleader @jana-jaeynneee @myaa21212121 @ziarah @cat-lockwood @leaf-rose-thorn @elissanatok @lily3450 @nervousmumbling @budugu @frickin-bats @sillyfreakfanparty @amberpanda99 @nycthophiliaa @myaa21212121 @bananaadeleigate @everybodystaycalm @fmhcatt @sankareatheundead @cat-lockwood @1potato2rulethemall @bloommart @lorinevv @taylorswars @jessiegerl @glocuseguardian3rd @angiieguevara @laurasdrey @jholiday @smailaway @some-random-stranger-007 @beckahhope @bookishtheaterlover7 @eclecticcollectioncloud @thingfromlove @dutifullyannoyingfox @kitkat14sblog @dancingandreadingwithv @heyits-zedo @superhighschoollevelnerd-blog1 @ben-has-arrived @kindaslightlyacidic @espressopatronum454 @miluiel1 @powellssaturn @jess4rush @krismdavis @yourgirlypop

[mediumgayitalian]

Plink.

“Psst, hey! Nico!”

Plink. Plink.

“Nico! You up?”

Plink.

Plink plink plink. Plink —

“What in the world,” Nico hisses, yanking open his window, “is going — oh.” He blinks. “Will?”

Will grins. “Hi.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I was in the neighbourhood,” he says, voice not nearly quiet enough for someone who is at direct risk of being devoured. “Thought I’d drop by. Can I come in?”

If Nico were smart, he would say no, actually, it’s like four in the godsdamn morning, go the hell back to your cabin. What is wrong with you.

Instead, he says, “We live in the same neighbourhood, dweeb-face, this is a camp,” and opens his window all the way. Will grins at him, wide and glinting in the dark, and yanks himself in head-first, somersaulting onto the floor and staying there, sprawled on the polished marble floors.

“Hi,” he says again, grin shifting into something more crooked.

Nico breaks away, hiding a smile with rolled eyes. “You’re ridiculous.”

“It’s ridiculous to want to see you?”

“Before dawn? Yes!”

“Aw.” He settles against the ground, tucking his hands behind his head and letting half lidded eyes trace over Nico’s form, over the sleepy shape of him. Nico shivers. “I was awake, you know. I dreamt of you.”

Cool the fresh hell down, Nico screams at his brain. Out loud, he says, “Shut the fuck up,” and ignores Will’s snickering. How dare he, honestly. For someone who gets clowned as often as he does he is not nearly humble enough. Apollonian genes, indeed.

“What, you don’t dream of me?”

When Will lies, his throat swells up and he breaks out in hives. Nico is at the top of the leaderboard for getting the reaction out of him, with Cecil at a close second and Kayla no slouch in third place. Will is highly manipulable. It’s a good time for everyone around (even Chiron, who is, to his own irritation, lumbering behind at spot #42).

Nico, however, has no such holdups. Nor is he inclined, at any point in time, to fluff up Will’s ego, no matter how he looks when he’s cocky. Nico has self control. Mostly. (Well, at times.)

“Of course not. My subconscious would never do that to me.”

“You’re mean to me, di Angelo.”

“You like it.”

Nico watches, fascinated, as Will’s loudmouth snaps right shut; as his face burns sacred cow right in the low light of the cabin, as he squirms.

“Oh,” he says, gleefully.

“Can it, di Angelo —”

“Oh ho ho ho —”

“I’m gonna curse your ass with haiku disorder, do you know what that is, ‘cause I’ll show you, dickhead —”

Nico crouches down and pokes Will hard in the cheek, and he doesn’t even flinch — he just goes redder. Nico guffaws.

“Dude! Have some — dignity, oh my —”

“Shut up! Shut up! You’re so horrible, gods, I am leaving —”

“Oh, come here.” Will is dragged easily from the windowsill, because he is a big fat faker. There are actual claw marks on the infirmary door from the last time Austin brought Nyssa to drag him out.

“I don’t wanna stay where I’m unwanted,” he laments, bouncing on the bed when Nico shoves him. He takes the inch Nico gives him and burrows deeply under the blankets, throwing a melodramatic hand over his eyes. Nico rolls his own eyes, hoping if he rolls then hard enough Will can tell regardless of whether or not he’s looking, and crawls in after him. He makes sure to kick him at least thrice. “I can take a hint, you know.”

“Medical arts were the wrong career path for you. It’s not too late, you know. I’m sure you could shadow Nicholas Cage or something —”

“I am going to kill you with hammers —”

Nico evades gus clumsy attacks with ease, snickering as he pins him to the bed, smirking when he gives up fighting with a huff.

“I’m glad you came when you couldn’t sleep,” Nico says, after a moment for them to catch their breath. “But the point of that agreement is for you to then shut the fuck up and sleep. Here. So.”

“I’m trying,” Will grumbles. “But you’re being mean and it’s crushing my soul. How am I supposed to sleep with a crushed soul?”

“Oh my gods.”

“Okay, okay! Put the pillow away, jeez, I’m sorry. Meanie.”

Nico rolls his eyes again, settling down next to him. Will takes longer to settle, because he’s annoying, but right before Nico is ready to smack the shit out of him again, he calms down, burrowing stilling once he’s turned on his side.

“…Thank you.”

“Whatever, goober. Go to sleep.”

The smile is obvious in his voice. “Goodnight, Nico.”

“Goodnight, Will.”

“In the morning can we —”

“Goodnight, William.”

“Okay, okay. Night.” He pauses. “Love you.”

Nico shoved his grinning face into his pillow. “Love you too.”

[hayakawalove]

More, More, More

Summary: You and Gojo decide to try out something new in the bedroom.

A/N: Hello! This is my first submission for kinktober this year. I hope you enjoy! Comments are appreciated! I've never written this kink before, so I wanted to test it out.

CW: Smut, Electric Play, Hands Free Cum, Biting, Switch Gojo Satoru, AFAB Reader, Gender Neutral Reader W/C: 1,002

Credits to cafekitsune for the banner

“I don’t know, are you sure about this?” Satoru asks, watching as you place the electrodes on him. 

You’re almost able to feel the excitement burning beneath the surface of his skin. His eyes quickly dart back and forth between you and his lower half, as if you would turn the knob on without telling him. 

“You’re the one who brought it up saying you wanted to try it.” You reply, your eyes flicking up towards him. 

He looks cute like this. A sheen of sweat decorates his forehead, and his eyes are full of anticipation as they look between you and his cock. He looks helpless. You would never be able to guess he was the strongest in the world. 

“Yeah- no. I was just making sure you weren’t nervous.” He says, false confidence filling his voice. 

You hum, and look towards the dial. You figured starting on the lowest setting made the most sense, but god you wanted to see what the highest did. 

“Alright, are you ready?” You fiddle with the knob, waiting for his approval. 

“Am I ready? Of course I’m ready. Are you ready-“ 

The second he says he was ready, you turn the knob up to the first setting. Satoru groans, throwing his head back. Pulses of electricity course through his cock, instantly making him hard. It’s mesmerizing. You watch as he looks back down, puffs of air leaving his lips while he tries to compose himself. When he looks at you, you raise an eyebrow and wait for him to speak.

“Well?” You ask.

“That was barely anything.” His voice is calm as he speaks. You’d be inclined to believe him, if you didn’t see the way his cock was beginning to drip precum. 

“Is that right?” You trace your hands over his hips, delighting in the shudder he lets out. 

“Yeah. Turn it up.” 

If he says so. You turn the dial up to the next setting, holding back a moan as his hips buck upwards. He’s breathing heavier now, his brows furrowed as he watches you. There’s a string of precum connecting his cock to his stomach. All you want to do is lick it up, but you’d rather let him be a mess. You prefer him that way. 

You drag your nails up his skin, digging into his chest as the electrodes send waves throughout his cock. Satoru’s moaning while his lower body twists around. When you look closely, you can see light pink tinting his cheeks, a sure sign that he was getting riled up. Your breathing is picking up as you watch him. Your own desire is beckoning you, whispering for you to touch the spot between your legs. Willfully, you ignore it. Right now, you’re focused on Satoru. 

“How does it feel?” Your voice is heavy with lust. 

“G-good. Turn it to the highest.” Satoru winces. 

Already? You’re down with that. You fumble with the dial, turning it up, up, up until it’s at the highest setting. Satoru lets out a noise that he’s never made before. It’s a mix between a moan and a whine, almost sounding like that of a wounded animal. You look up at him, alarm painting your features. 

“Fuck! It’s so-“ he moans, his hips bucking up into nothing. 

He watches as you reach for the knob, nearly about to lower the setting. 

“N-no! Please don’t, don’t turn it down.” His voice isn’t his own as he speaks. Instead, it’s filled with ecstasy, each syllable drawing out longer than the last. 

Your throat goes dry as you watch him writhe about. It’s a sight to see. Sweat is trickling down his face, and saliva begins to pool at the corner of his lips. He’s groaning, pushing his hips up more to feel anything, yet he comes up dry. Your touch isn’t there providing him solace. Your hand isn’t squeezing him and guiding him through, nor is your inviting pussy. The only sensation is the electrodes against his cock, shooting pleasure straight into his tender flesh. 

You start to place gentle kisses on his hips, maintaining eye contact with him as you go. It almost looks like he’s close already. 

“How is it baby?” 

“It’s making me w-wanna cum,” Satoru groans. 

His cock is so hard it hurts. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him look so horny before. The sight and sound of him is making you dizzy. You want to reach out and touch his cock, but you really don’t want to ruin the moment. Not when he looks so close already. 

You open your mouth a bit wider and dig your teeth into him. The thin skin on his hips molds against your teeth, allowing the salty taste of his sweat to flood into your mouth. Indents are quickly made from your jaw as you begin to litter his skin with fresh wounds. He whines, squeezing his eyes shut as you work him closer. 

“I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum,”

You moan with him, watching as cum begins to spurt from his overworked cock. His groaning is unrestrained as his cum shoots out, seemingly never ending. This must be the hardest he’s ever cum. White pools on his tummy, beginning to drip down his sides. The sheets below him are a mess, a mixture of his cum and sweat soaking the bed. 

Satoru tosses his head back, taking in breaths as he tries to recuperate. You turn the dial completely off, even though you’d really like to see that happen again. After removing the electrodes, you look back down at the cum sprayed against him. You can’t resist. You drag your tongue up his skin, your eyes fluttering closed as you swallow his cum. 

Satoru looks down at you, chuckling to himself as you clean him up. His hand smooths down your hair before sliding to your cheek, where he strums your face. Once you’re all done, you glance up at him and see an evil smile on his lips. 

“Your turn.” 

If you want to be added to the taglist let me know. Just specify what you want to be added to.

[bimoonphases]

@wolfstarmicrofic September 20 - prompt 20: Centaur [word count 716]

It had been the first thing James had said on the train that September 1st: the now-renown Marauders couldn’t go their whole second year at Hogwarts without setting foot in the Forbidden Forest. So there they were, one cold October night, sneaking through the trees, their wands lighting the path.

“Okay, we’ve seen it, can we go back now?” Peter whispered.

“Come on Pete, where’s your sense of adventure?” James asked.

“In my bed as I should be,” Peter mumbled. “And this path is too narrow.”

“There’s a clearing a bit ahead,” Remus said distractedly.

As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt the stare of his friends and froze. He had missed them so much over that first summer apart he was growing careless around them. No need for them to know the wolf’s nose could detect a place in a forest from miles away. No need for him to lose the only friends he had ever had once they found out he was a monster.

“Remus darling,” James smirked. “Have you been exploring the Forest without us?”

“Of course not, I’m from Wales, I know about forests,” Remus answered quickly. “Come on, let’s go.”

He sat out again, looking away from Sirius who was detailing him with a piercing gaze. And after a couple of minutes, there it was, the beautiful clearing with a glorious view of the starry sky, the moon reflecting itself in the pond. Beautiful, and peaceful and clearly occupied by the figure leaning over the pond.

“It’s a Centaur!” James whispered way too loud.

Remus cringed as the Centaur looked up at them.

“That I am, James Fleamont Potter,” he smiled benevolently.

“You know my name?”

“My people have been blessed with the gifts of Prophecy and Intuition so yes, I know all your names. Mine is Firenze.”

“Like the Italian town?” Sirius blurted out, and Remus cringed even more.

“Who knows, Sirius Orion Black,” Firenze smiled. “Maybe the town is named after me. Both Past and Future are so complicated for you humans after all.”

“So you could tell us our future?” Peter asked.

“I’m so sorry, sir,” Remus clamped his hand on Peter’s mouth. “We’ll leave you be, sorry again for bothering you.”

“You’re not bothering me, Remus John Lupin,” Firenze chuckled, then he turned to Peter. “I am not allowed to tell you your future, Peter Edmund Pettigrew, but I could offer you a sentence to accompany you through life. It may help you, or not, you may never know its significance or realise it too late. Would you like that?”

As the others nodded, Remus shook his head vigorously. However vague, he didn’t want any sentence telling him how shitty his life would be.

“Sirius Orion Black,” Firenze fixed his gaze on Sirius. “Remember that the Walpurgisnacht won’t devour the heart in the end, nor will it engulf the light.”

Sirius shivered, his hand reaching out to clutch Remus’s as the Centaur turned to Peter.

“Peter Edmund Pettigrew. Remember that fear can save as well as destroy, as the tiniest animal like the termite can destroy a whole wooden house.”

Peter frowned and Firenze turned to James, who was almost bouncing with excitement.

“James Fleamont Potter. Always remember to get up with your hands full,” the Centaur seemed to linger on James’s confused face, then gracefully inclined his head. “And now I shall bid you good night, young humans.”

As Remus made to follow his friends away from the clearing, he turned around one last time to look back at the Centaur.

“Remus John Lupin,” Firenze smiled.

“I don’t want to know my future.”

“I know. I just want you to know you will always be welcome under these trees, despite what you think.”

Remus swallowed, looking deep into those clear eyes.

“You�� You know?” his voice was strangled.

“We always know our own. You have found some good friends, Remus John Lupin, cherish them. And remember that even now, the star always needs the moon.”

Feeling his cheeks heat up, Remus nodded and ran after the others. When he had caught up with them, Sirius slid his hand in his again.

“You were limping the other day, I don’t want you to fall,” he said.

“Thank you,” Remus answered, his heart beating faster.

[beeshoesometimesdraws]

LAES SPOILERS AHEAD

So I just finished catching up on all the recent episodes and OH MY GOD DO I HAVE THOUGHTS (specifically about Eclipse and the newest laes episode because holy hell I’m reeling from it)

In the second half of the “HOW TO DEAL With The GRIEF of Losing SOLAR” episode on the laes after Monty leaves and Eclipse appears, I was very much expecting him to make his usual snarky remarks and mock Earth and Solar’s death in some way (though I was hoping he wouldn’t ofc)

Imagine my shock when he does none of those things and instead is much more mellow and even softer/nicer—by his standards at least—and just looks around briefly and asks questions and just stands and actually LISTENS to what Earth says with barley if any semblance of his usual snark. The fact that he actually lets her talk about her feelings and everything and rant without cutting in to be his usual snarky self is EVERYTHING TO ME.

AND WHATS EVEN MORE; the fact that he asked her “do you really need him (Solar)” and when she said “yes” he didn’t say anything and just sighed as if in defeat. I think we all knew before from the previous episodes that he was battling with wether to actually help aid in bringing Solar back or not after his encounters with Puppet and Frank, but it seems to me that with this scene with him and Earth AND how it was mentioned by Sun that he was wiping the floor in Sun’s and Moon’s house that he has maybe decided that he IS going to help, or at least is reasoning with himself as to if he should or not.

With all the questions he was asking Earth it makes me think the ladder is true.

I also love the fact that despite her still very much grieving and breaking down at the loss of Solar (as we all are), she still expressed sympathy towards Eclipse and him not having anybody to lean on nor him being able to understand that kind of bond or trust. Even with this is brought up Eclipse just…kind of agrees to some of it and then deflects as usual but one thing caught my attention when he said “it looks like you need it (sympathy) more than I do anyways” and though he doesn’t directly offer it, I think the fact that he just stays there for a bit to listen to her and maybe even take in her opinions and feelings towards Solar and Ruin into consideration for whatever he’s planning to do is his own way—however unintentional it may be—of offering his own small bit of support. Hell, he definitely got Earth to talk a bit more about what she was feeling in regards to the situation and Solar.

Hate him all you want, everyone is inclined to their own opinions ofc, but Eclipse was so different from how he usually is this episode and I think things have slowly been changing for him for awhile. Before it was almost certain that when this was all over that he’d be dead in an instant without a thought…but now? Now I don’t think that’s going to be his fate anymore, and this and other recent episodes have only proved that to me.

He actually listened to Moon about not killing Ruin, he is obviously at least considering in helping to bring back Solar if what he did at Sun’s and Moon’s house and the questions he asked Earth are any indication, and the way he was just willing to stand there and just listen to Earth with barely if any a hint of his usual attitude and hold a rather peaceful conversation with her and even be quite NICE about it by his standards.

I think wholeheartedly that Eclipse is improving steadily and slowly and I am very much manifesting not only a redemption arc but a friendship between him and Earth because so far she has been one of the most sympathetic and in some capacity caring of him and the borderline softness he showed today only brings my hopes up.

Okay rant over, I just really needed to put my thoughts out there because damn is my brain reeling with so many thoughts and feelings about this

[appleflavoredkitkats]

why bluey’s “sleepytime” is the only episode Ever

no guys u don't understand. bluey's sleepytime episode is the bluey episode. THE episode. it's such a wonderful and profound showcase of the tight-knit and unconditional love this family has for each other and it will always bring tears to my eyes whenever i watch it. so anyways here’s a 2k word analysis of the entire episode and its meanings and symbolisms

the episode starts off with chilli reading bingo a story about a chick hatching from its egg. after hatching, the chick immediately sees its mother and snuggles up to her so she can fall asleep. that already sets the perfect precedent for what to expect. bluey and bandit come in, but i will talk about them later. chilli finishes reading bingo her story. bingo suddenly gets worried about floppy being missing, but chilli finds floppy and returns it to bingo. after, chilli bids bingo good night, and bingo tells her she wants to do a "big girl sleep". 

one small detail i enjoyed is that, in response, chilli tells bingo to do her best, saying she's always there if bingo needs assistance. this entire scene is very heartwarming because chilli does not set up high expectations for bingo to solve her predicament. sometimes, getting the hang of something is difficult, and some parents would pressure their children into finding the solution instead of consoling them and assuring them that they'll be there throughout the journey. here, chilli does not set high expectations for bingo, nor does she leave bingo alone— she tells bingo that, okay, i am here with you no matter what, whether you solve your problem or not. i will be here for you, because i believe in you and love you conditionally—THIS introduces the theme of the episode.

an important detail i want to highlight is that, floppy was given to bingo by chilli right before chilli says this. i'll expound more later, but i believe that floppy is meant to represent chilli's unconditional love for bingo. even if chilli isn't there, her love still persists, and in this episode, we see it through floppy being bingo's guardian in her dream.

then, the dream itself occurs— one of the most beautifully animated and well-composed sequences in any piece of animation, really. what i like about it is that bingo hatches from the earth just like a chick. at the same time, floppy hatches from the moon, and they both hug. in astrology, the moon represents one’s emotions and desires. again, i’m going to expound on floppy later, but understand that i believe floppy represents the love the family shares for one another. if the moon represents inner desires, then bingo’s inner desire is to showcase her love for her family as much as they do with her.

then, they see the sun, who we all know represents chilli. it's the same story— a baby chick, bingo, hatches and the first thing they see is their mom, chilli, the sun. the story of the chick ends with it sleeping with their mom, and here, we know that bingo wants to overcome their sleepwalking issues. so, bingo's inclination towards the sun is meant to represent how she feels like she can overcome her problems with the warmth of the sun, her mom.

i want to say that, because chilli is represented by the sun, it would suggest that all of the heeler family is represented by something as well. here, bingo is earth. in astronomy, earth symbolizes honesty, groundedness, and reliability. these are definitely pretty profound descriptions for bingo, but it checks out— in bluey, bingo is seen as less rambunctious than her sister. she's pretty emotionally intelligent and compassionate to others, and a lot of episodes focus on her honesty about boundaries, and what makes her feel hurt.

eventually, bingo and floppy pass a hatched planet that seems to be mercury. right after, we see bluey ask her mom to fetch her a glass of water. this heavily implies that bluey, in this situation, is mercury. in astrology, mercury is meant to resemble outward expression at its finest, curious about the wonders of life. mercury tends to be connected to wit and rationalization. again, big words to describe someone like bluey, but bluey definitely is the more outgoing, curious, and smart person between her and her sister. she's always the one asking questions, knowing how to rationalize her decisions to ensure what she's doing is what she thinks is right. she's also very intricate about the inner workings of her games, and tends to be a little rebellious when it comes to following rules outside of games. in this way, both her and her sister somewhat contrast, but we know they're a perfect balance with each other.

anyway, chilli brings bluey the water that she doesn't even drink. chilli then retreats to bluey's bed instead of disturbing her from her sleep. i think the untouched glass of water is another discreet symbol of the love chilli provides for her children. her love is there, even if you don't see it. even bluey snugs up into chilli’s spot on the bed, sleeping soundly. 

after chilli sneaks into bluey’s bed, we see bingo sleepwalk into her parents’ bedroom and sleep in between bluey and bandit. at the same time, we see bingo approach what seems to be like neptune in her dream. in neptune, she plays around, rolling across is lands as bingo rolls around the blanket in real life. what’s interesting is that, in astrology, neptune is meant to represent inspiration, ideals, and creativity, ignoring every sense of limitation life throws at you. i think this is a perfect way to encapsulate bluey, bingo, and bandit’s dynamic, as these three are the ones who thoroughly commit to the bit of their games. together, these three aren’t limited by anything, and it makes them happy.

afterwards, we see bingo approach jupiter, which is supposed to represent bandit. in astrology, jupiter is described as expansive, ensuring growth at whatever adventure you pursue. in a way, jupiter is like a guardian angel, which embodies bandit extremely well. bandit’s entire schtick is ensuring that his daughters’ childhood whimsy never dies while also keeping track of how they develop as their own persons. i think this is also emphasized by how both bluey and bingo, in the dream, are seen playing and having fun on jupiter, to bandit’s expense. it heavily mirrors these three’s playing style with each other in general.

i think the most beautiful part of it all, though, is bingo and floppy descending into the core of jupiter. it’s such an overlooked scene. jupiter’s core is described to be filled with pressure and heat. the weight of the pressure within jupiter’s core is said to be equal to 160,000 cars. and yet, bingo finds comfort in it, hugging it dearly. if bandit is meant to be jupiter, then bingo hugging the core is meant to represent bingo’s adoration of bandit as her father and as a good person. bandit never withholds anything from the girls, showcasing his love for them through complex games and lighthearted roughhousing. i also think that’s what the storms surrounding the core represent. bingo recognizes the love that her father gives her through EVERYTHING that he is, just like how chilli shows that she loves her children unconditionally. 

we see bandit bring bingo back into her room. before returning to his room, he helps bluey take a dump, singing her the song he sang to bluey when she was a baby. and, can i just mention how “dad can you sing to me” is genuinely one of the funniest scenes in bluey? like, not only is this show emotionally compelling, but it’s hilarious, and i love how this episode showcases both in harmony.

when both bluey and bandit return to bandit’s bedroom, we see that bingo is there, sleeping in bandit’s spot comfortably. bluey sneaks into her mom’s spot, and bandit sleeps on the floor. bingo falls into the floor, sleeping next to bandit. bingo then begins sleepwalking again, returning to her bedroom. in her dream, she comes across saturn whose rings are a bunch of floppies circling around. in astrology, saturn is meant to represent discipline, karma, and structure, often meant to teach us about what our obligations and responsibilities in life are.

i find this scene interesting, especially if you consider that floppy is meant to represent love. floppy insists they want to join the other floppies, and despite bingo’s hesitation, she lets them. i think what this means, especially when considering that floppy and their peers returned to bingo later on, is to show that it’s integral for bingo to give out love as much as the love she receives. she recognizes the importance of chilli giving bingo comfort and care. despite the fact that it’s difficult for bingo to let go of floppy, she recognizes that floppy wants this, and so bingo lets them go, because bingo wants to return the love she felt from floppy. through this, we also see that she values the love her family gives her, and she wants them to know she loves them back. that is why the moon represents floppy, because again, bingo’s inner desire is to share the love she experiences with her family.

and then, this scene. bingo zooms through space, moving directly towards the sun. and as we know, the sun represents chilli. upon seeing the sun, bingo gets a hold of her tears and tells the sun that she has to go [to bed] because she’s a big girl now. here we return to the initial problem at hand and bingo’s arc of getting there. obviously, the journey there was not perfect- she sleepwalked a lot that night, and cried when she lost floppy. but, that’s okay. the sun, chilli, recognizes her efforts in trying, and ensures bingo that she’ll be here with her through the entire journey of making her way there. and even if chilli didn’t explicitly tell bingo that she loved her, the sun tells bingo she loves her because bingo knows her mom loves her. she even wags her tail to it! in real life, chilli snuggles up to her like the mother hen and the chick from the story, and we see later that bingo was able to fall asleep, aka solve her problem, because her mom supported her wholeheartedly.

and i think that’s another beautiful thing about sleepytime. the fact that this happens in bingo’s head showcases that this is how she thinks of herself and her family. bluey, as mercury, is outgoing, adventurous, and curious, because bingo knows this and loves her for it. bandit, as jupiter, is a playful guardian angel, showing his love through fun and being himself, because bingo knows this and loves him for it. chilli is filled with warmth and unconditional love for her family, similar to how far the sun’s light can reach, because bingo knows this and loves her for it. bingo’s dream reveals her deep appreciation for her family, because she knows that they all love her.

and eventually, bingo returns to her earth, putting its pieces together. here we see floppy and their friends return to help bingo. to harken back to the saturn symbolism, not only does saturn depict responsibility but it also represents good karma, believing good things will occur if you commit to your responsibilities. and here, we know how much bingo loves other people like her family and floppy. because of her good deed towards floppy, the floppies return to help her because they love her too. it reflects how chilli returns floppy to bingo. this is the second time in the episode that bingo receives floppy from her mother. if we apply the same logic and consider floppy as a symbol of love, chilli returns floppy to bingo because she is giving back the love that bingo provides to her. chilli knows how much bingo loves her, the same way bingo knows how much her mom loves her. the love within the heeler family is cyclical, because every single one of them love each other so, so much.

and then we are brought back to reality as the music swells. we see the many instances of love wafting through the walls of their home. the bathroom where bandit stayed to support bluey, the glass of water chilli got for bluey, bluey and bandit snuggled up on the floor comfortably, chilli enjoying the warmth of the bed the entire family slept on at some point, bingo’s storybooks, and eventually, the sun making its way to bingo’s window. it’s all love. the entire household basks in the glow of unconditional love for each other. 

all in all, sleepytime is such a beautiful episode showcasing how love within families should exist within everything they do, no matter how “mundane” it seemingly is. THAT’S what a family is supposed to be. i would also, obviously, like to compliment the stunning animation, background designs, comedy, and score, because it really heightens the impact of the entire episode. genuinely, if you want to introduce bluey to somebody who hasn’t watched it, THIS is the episode. anyway i ignored my homework for this, just go stream bluey!!!!!!

(ps if the planets are wrong, like if neptune was actually uranus and if mercury was actually mars, then uhhh just dont talk abt it LOL. tbh i googled them to just to make sure and it provides similar insights anyway!!!)

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

honestly something that’s really sunk in as i’ve gotten older is the horror of elrond and elros’s kidnapping. i am not throwing away “And he cherished them and love grew after between them” per say, but given that the general disposition of the silmarillion’s narrator is to be at least fairly generous towards the fëanorians, i’m quite leery of what this summation might be emphasizing and what it might be glossing over or leaving out entirely. i mean, the end of that sentence is “...but Maglor’s heart was sick and weary with the burden of the dreadful Oath." even if we were to completely ignore the mass killing, that doesn’t exactly call to mind someone who’s in peak shape to be a parent.

incidentally, i’m not someone who needs (or wants!) to fit all my headcanons into canon; nor am i the best-equipped to pull from source material and slam it down like an idealistic young lawyer turning the tables in a courtroom drama. i’m busting out the dread quotation marks in this case only because i’m aware that a large portion of silm fans i’ve encountered consider this particular line, not justification exactly, more like....reassurance, i guess, that ‘kidnap fam’ was okay, maedhros and maglor were good caretakers and treated e&e just fine, etc etc.

and i just.... i don’t think so. i know i used to enjoy the sweeter interpretations of the m&m-e&e relationship (my very first fic was actually in that œuvre, and while i’m definitely not able to look back on her yet without pulling some really awful faces, i’m trying my hardest to respect that she meant a great deal to me at the time and to cherish her as a monument to my tinier self), but now i just can’t picture them as anything other than profoundly dysfunctional and messed-up.

regardless of whether or not they knew about eluréd and elurín (i’m inclined to think they didn’t, or at least didn’t fully, at the time of the third kinslaying; i like the idea of elwing wanting her babies to have the safe and happy childhood she was denied), e&e would’ve had to know that m&m

functionally orphaned them

destroyed their home (and had previously destroyed their mother’s home)

separated them from their community and culture

could kill or harm them at any time

removed them from everything familiar and indicative of safety

even without processing the full scope of these actions (which they probably didn’t immediately, given that they were like six) that’s terrifying. it’s terrifying to me. and i don’t think any amount of pity or even affection could’ve fully removed that terror.

this isn’t to say that i don’t think they had happy or fun or joyful moments (i think they did), nor is it to condemn maglor as a guardian (honestly i think he generally tried the best he could given the circumstances). but i think that alongside that there was fear and confusion and resentment and grief and so much parentification of the twins.

[thequeenofthewinter]

Work-in-Progress Wednesday

Hi, hi! I am back from my short social media hiatus and ready to feed the ducks and hit a bunch of piñatas and pop some champagne...

Tagging: @oblivions-dawn @mareenavee @dirty-bosmer @blossom-adventures @ladytanithia @saltymaplesyrup @rainpebble3 @changelingsandothernonsense @umbracirrus @throughtrialbyfire @gilgamish @kookaburra1701 @archangelsunited and anyone else who wants to play along. <3 Please consider yourselves tagged.

Minutes which feel like hours and drag on for days pass as Ulfric’s boots clack against the hard stone outside the door. Each step comes quicker than the next,  and with each beat a swelling terror rises within him. What time is it? Shouldn’t she be out by now? Is she okay? What if something went wrong? If only Lyssa hadn’t insisted that he stay outside. The irony isn’t lost on him—kicked out of his room in his own Palace. A humorless chuckle passes from his lips as he fists a hand in his hair, tugging on one of the braids.

Another scream and he pulls harder. He can’t take it anymore. The not knowing, not being able to be beside her especially while knowing his child will soon come into the world at any minute. What if the baby turns out like him and— 

“If you don’t soon stop, you’ll wear a hole straight through the floors, Ulfric.”

The voice doesn’t register to him at first, and when a hand touches his shoulder, he startles only to look up and see Galmar with a frown. Ulfric is not in the mood for the sagely advice his friend thinks he has so cleverly disguised as a lighthearted joke. There is no time for that, no time for anything especially when he knows that he is quite possibly moments away from the most important event of his entire life. How is he supposed to remain calm when he has no idea what happens next? 

In all his years, he has dealt with many situations which have required strategy, diplomacy, and no small measure of pretended grace to navigate the pressures of what has been thrown into his path, but suddenly, now, there are no answers. There is no book to read, no councilors to consult, and no previous experience to draw upon. He is, for once in his life, truly without a map nor any faint inclination of what he is to do.

Galmar leans forward, pressing his hands onto his shoulders to stop his pacing. “In all the years that I have known you, when have you ever failed at anything?”

Flashes of memories of times past filter and flow, but Ulfric cannot catch more than glimpses of them: High Hrothgar with Arngeir, the Great War and those he thought he had betrayed, the whole mess of Skyrim’s Civil War and the people who died—the people of Windhelm whom he has failed. There are plenty of times when he has not held up to the full measure of the man he should be. What if this is just another one of those times?

A creak accompanies the sound of a handle turning, and his heart stops.

“What if I cannot do this?” Ulfric doesn’t know how or why the question leaves his lips, only that he does as a whisper. It is the weakest question he has ever deigned to himself, and he cannot believe he dares to ask it aloud and to Galmar no less.

“You can and you must, soldier.” Galmar claps him on the back, drawing him closer. “A healthy amount of self-doubt is necessary. If you were always so sure of yourself all the time, I would worry about you. You’re just fine, Ulfric. Go.”

An infant’s cry hits his ears, shrill and strong—and perhaps the sweetest yet most irritating sound he has ever heard. It is the battlecry he marches to when he turns to walk into the room to see his wife disheveled, tired, and holding a small baby with wisps of dark hair to her chest. 

[scribeforchrist-blog]

Beware of the Need for More

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+ James 5:13 Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.

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VERSE OF THE DAY

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+ Luke 12:15  And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.

=========================

** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM CONTENT

I AM BARING FRUIT

I AM NOT COVETING

I AM STRONG

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READ TIME: 7 Minutes & 56 Seconds

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THOUGHTS:

=======================

     We accumulate tons of things in our rooms, in our homes, and in our cabinets. We don’t even use some of this stuff, but we have it, and we don’t want to throw it away because we feel it's ours. No matter how much stuff we know we have, it doesn’t stop us from getting more stuff; some of us have so much that we forget most of the stuff we do have. But would we stop using it even if we got a warning about it? Would we stop collecting unnecessary things? Probably not; the bible verse today tells us to BEWARE of covetousness; our life isn’t about the abundance of things we have, how many times have we looked at someone else stuff. And say I want this because this person has it or I want this because this other person has that, the word tells us not to covet what other people have.

  I can remember I got everything I wanted when I was younger, in my early twenties. I got it. I didn’t care about how much I already had or what it was; if I wanted it, I got it. I didn’t even care if I could use it because I just needed to have it, and in my mind, it was a need, and it wasn’t a need; it was more of a want. I was coveting other people's things; a lot of times, during any sin, we don’t see it as a sin or as wrong because we are too busy trying to get more.

   Psalm 119:36-37 Incline my heart to your testimonies, not to selfish gain! Turn my eyes off worthless things, and give me life in your ways.

     I didn’t know what I was doing at the time; I just knew it was something I WANTED, and I got it. I didn’t ever use it, but for a day, maybe two days, and I was done with it; it was just the point of having it in my hands, see covetousness it can take over; every sin makes us do this. It’s the part no one wants to discuss about allowing ourselves to get so focused on whatever it is that we don’t see the harm until it's too late.

     Hebrews 13:5 Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.

 Jesus wants us to stop and notice the things around us. He wants us to notice what we shouldn’t do and immediately take it to him. The enemy will have you thinking what you're doing is fine, and the world will tell you it is fine, but it is not , it’s a sin, no matter how you look at it. When we stop normalizing sin and making it okay and saying it’s alright, we can quickly kill the sin, but what happens is we talk to friends and family instead of God, and they tell us it’s okay to do it this way, or it’s okay to be that way.

  Also, in this verse, the lord says to be content, but it’s hard to be content when our wants outweigh our sense of reasoning; that’s why we must go back to God and have him recalibrate our minds and hearts. Sometimes, we lose focus of what we are supposed to be doing because our mind is on the wrong things; see, the enemy wants our mind to stay on the wrong things, people of God; he wants us where we are so distracted we don’t call upon the name of the lord but friends we must start calling on him because our sins are going to overcome us if we don’t try to let go of them, our sins will turn into something worse if we aren’t careful.

  The word of God today is saying BEWARE, and that’s a sign of caution; that’s a sign of warning; we can take heed of it or ignore God's warning of any sin. Don’t allow money and things to distract you from the love of God or your relationship with him

  1 Timothy 6:6-8 Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So, if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content

  When we are content having wealth, we didn’t come into this world with anything, and we will leave just the same way, so to accumulate so much stuff isn’t going to get us closer to heaven; the word says if we have enough food, and we have enough clothing that’s all we should want and be content. Are you content? Are you satisfied? God can make us so content in our lives if we allow him to. Some of us are happy with wanting so much that we are blinded by it, but God's word says to be content; we must find a healthy balance in our life, and we can’t do that if we aren’t ready to. Are you ready to find it??

Luke 8:14 And as for what fell among the thorns, they are those who hear, but as they go on their way, they are choked by the cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature.

  Some of us are these kinds of seeds; we hear the word, but we are chocked by the cares and riches of this life; we look for pleasure rather than to please God, and the fruits that we are supposed to be baring don’t mature because it can’t because we don’t allow God to nurture them. We are too busy nurturing our pockets and sinful ways. God wants to take care of every facet of our lives, not just the good parts but the sinful parts too, but we must be ready to let go and allow him to do this.

  ***Today, we talked about being content and accumulating so much stuff. It’s easy to do, but do we think it’s unnecessary? Do we see what God says about this, or do we just agree because we think that’s what he wants us to do? God wants us to understand why he says this about our lives because he wants us to see truly, and if we don’t, we need to ask; some of us want to understand the heart of God, and some of us don’t, but whatever we are having a problem with we must take it to God, today we learned we must be content not just with life but also with what we have, we need our heart regulated by God, because he’s the only one that can fix us he’s the only one that can show us the way, without him we can’t bare good fruits nor be content.

©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

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PRAYER

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Heavenly Father, thank you for today, lord; help us be content and satisfied in what you're doing in our life, and lord, change us; please show us the way today, Father; we pray that you stir a revival through this country for people to seek you earnestly and who want to be closer to you more and more. Lord, give them a fire to read their word and to pray; lord, we ask right now that you forgive us of our sins; in Jesus' Name, Amen

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REFERENCES

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+ Psalm 37:16 Better is the little that the righteous has than the abundance of many wicked

 

+2 Peter 2:3 And in their greed, they will exploit you with false words. Their condemnation from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep.

 

+ Habakkuk 2:9 Woe to him who gets evil gain for his house, to set his nest on high, to be safe from the reach of harm!

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FURTHER READINGS

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 Proverbs 19

Leviticus 19

2 King 10

Genesis 3

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[i4bellingham]

Love your writing! Could you do one where you’re friends with Trent and he has a crush on you but you don’t know since he keeps things close to the chest. And it’s not an issue until you meet Jude and the two of you click and start dating that he voices his feelings to you. You want to stay w Jude but Trent can’t bare being just friends and seeing you fall in love w someone else.

THE CHOICE : bsf!trent alexander-arnold x fem!reader x mentioned bf!jude bellingham

all of the gifs in my posts are from my keyboard. they aren't mine but i also have no clue who their owners are but all credits goes to them for creating such beautiful gifs <33 thank you so much <333

cw: unresolved issues, trent and reader low-key being redflags 🚩🚩🚩, cussing, mentions of making out, honestly jude deserves better in this fic why’d i write it like this 😭 + not proofread

i added a twist of mine on this one, hope that's alright 👀 how i managed to finish this in a day is beyond me. i normally take 2-3 days to finish a fic but here i am finishing a trent fic in a day 😨

Admitting that you loved someone was hard.

Admitting that you love someone who already loves someone else is harder.

Trent was very well-aware that his fondness of you grew past the stages of ‘like’. It was something that he had to come into terms with just recently seeing you wrapped around someone else’s arms.

Before anything, you were a good friend of Trent’s. You would always show up to his games wearing his jersey, you always opened up your time and attention to him when he’s feeling under the weather or when they lost a game. You were always there for him, through his good times and even at his worst. You were there, hugging him close to you when the hateful comments got too much and inside his head, clouding his mind with doubt and insecurity as he recalls them over and over in his memory. You always liked to remind him of what he’s achieved at a young age, reiterate every single thing that he’s won at football and praise him for being so strong for facing each of his days with a raised head despite the comments, until he’s there in your arms with tears fogging his sight.

You were so good to him, so good for someone with the likes of him that him falling for you wasn’t even out of the picture anymore.

But Trent stopped himself from confessing, thinking that whatever friendship he got with you was too good for him to lose. So he never did, never once gave any inclinations of his feelings for you until it grew and blossomed into what it’s now known as love.

There wasn’t really any worries on his part, because although you've gone to a few dates (none of which really succeeded), there wasn’t really anyone who had the pleasure of being called your boyfriend.

Not until him.

Not until Jude Bellingham came into the picture and shattered whatever complacent Trent found in your relationship.

It was supposed to be you and him and although merely as friends, Trent wanted nothing more for it to be just you and him for a very long time.

But really, he’s the partial reason why you started dating Jude in the very first place regardless if he likes the profound relationship between you and his best mate anyways.

He did introduce the two of you to each other at his own birthday party because while he tried to distract himself with the multiple girls that surrounded him that night from how beautiful and breathtaking you looked in your dress, he had given Jude the perfect open opportunity to get to know you better. And before he even knows it, Trent’s greatest fear had come into life.

Eight months after his birthday party, you began dating Jude leaving him with nothing but the scarce presence of you in his life.

Not until one day when you reached out and asked him to hang out that Trent came into the conclusion that he would rather get the things off in his chest now no matter the cost than never doing it and dwelling on the what should have been. He knows it’s not fair to you nor to Jude but he’d really wanted to do this now in hopes that it would give him the peace that he needs with the feelings he holds for you.

Trent wasn’t expecting much from you if he did confess, but it was still safe to say that he was hoping for at least a little bit that in someway, you reciprocated his feelings too no matter how slim they may be now.

Trent hugs you a little longer than he should have when he finds you in his door step, clad in a familiar hoodie that also had the lingering scent of its owner when he pulls away from you before ushering you inside his house.

“Feels like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

You really haven’t, is what response crossed Trent’s mind as the both of you sat on his couch with an arms length of space dividing you both that wasn’t normally there before you started dating Jude. But instead of voicing it out, Trent reaches a hand out to ruffle your hair.

“You’ve been rather occupied with your new relationship, don’t want to interfere in young love.” He ends his reply with a teasing smile.

You face him, adjusting on his couch with your legs crossed above the cushions. “So... how have you been?”

Miserable?

Missing you?

Regretting lots of stuff?

What should have been a proper answer to such a basic question was drowned out by Trent's thoughts in the situation he tried to move past. It was all about his regrets of not confessing and owning up to his feelings earlier. It was all about the what-ifs inside his head that ran rampant just like his thoughts of you.

“Okay...”

“Just okay?” You teased, chuckling when Trent rolls his eyes. “What? No new flings Mr. Alexander-Arnold?”

Trent’s demeanor immediately shifts into a tensed one, and as if sensing his discomfort for the topic you reel your question back with another remark.

“Now don't be so uptight with me T, you know I don't judge you for that.”

Of course you haven't. You don’t judge him in anything he does. You hold him at such a high regard to trust him fully that he doesn't do anything stupid, one that could potentially dwindle your trust on him.

Those flings haven’t come by for more than a few months now, only seeking out the presence of other girls to satiate his needs with the courage he's gotten from the alcohol, but even those instances became sparse ever since he owned up to how he really felt about you.

“I know, you love me too much to judge me for every shit that I do.” Trent insinuates.

You unknowingly nod your head. “Of course I do. You have been such a good friend to me T, of course I love you-”

“Just as friends?”

You snap your head to his direction, shock on your face before you're letting out forced and nervous chuckles.

“Of course Trent, you're my friend aren’t you?”

There is a feint hints of smirk on his lips. Trent nods his head spuriously to appease you, but the next words to come out of his lips did anything but to ease you down.

“I see you're still a horrible liar.”

You look at him confused.

“You don’t call me Trent unless you're hiding something from me pretty baby...” Trent inches closer to you, grabbing your hand in his to which you didn't take backㅡnot immediately anyways, no.

You seemed to have been stunned to hear the nickname he used to call you before you were dating Jude tumble out of his lips.

Frozen next to him and shocked, you only managed to shake yourself back to reality with the thought of your current boyfriend passing by your mind.

You take your hand back immediately, scooting a little further away from Trent.

“Trent-” You warn him, not wanting to hear the next words leave his lips.

“What? Really? You thought I would believe that you only ever loved me as a ‘friend’ ?” He asks you almost mockingly. “Friends don’t kiss each other baby. Friends don’t make out a plenty of times-”

“We were both drunk that time Trent!”

“The first time it happened we were! But what about the other times that it happened Y/N?”

You stand up from the couch. “I don’t know why you’re bringing this up now Trent! It had been a year and a half since it happened!” You started to head to door, planning on leaving the entire conversation and Trent behind when his hand reaches out to grasp at your arm, pulling your back against his chest.

“Don’t lie Y/N. You know me better than anyone, and I know you better than everyone else.” He wraps his arms around your waist, slotting his forehead against the plane of your shoulder. “You didn’t see me just as your friend-”

You struggled against his hold, mind reminding you of your boyfriend and how wrong and unfair this is to him.

“Yes Trent! I did see you more than just my friend! Is that what you want to hear from me!?”

Yes, you two did kiss during that one damned night during New Year’s eve drunk and out of your wits and the situation went completely out of control when the two of you found yourselves in the back of his car, lips slotted perfectly against each other as you spent the New Year countdown in each other’s arm and tongues down each other’s throat.

After that, the tension just grew more to which the both of you tried to ignore at first but to no avail. It just turned palpable that even some of your mutual friends began to suspect a thing when you’d hang out with them. It was so apparent that something went down between you and Trent but you've never had the guts to openly admit that.

It was one random night when the both of you finally broke that tension out into the open air, nearly ridding each other of clothes in a messy lip-lock and hands on opposite bodies that didn’t stay at one spot for more than a second.

Instances like that happened for a few more times before Trent himself ultimately ended what he himself started.

His birthday party was the perfect gateway that able you to meet Jude, eyes and attention on him instead of Trent and the multiple girls on his arms as he openly flirted with them.

You remember trying to keep your tears from falling, tried so hard to tune down the disappointment, hurt and sadness that you felt in that moment.

But Jude was there. Jude was there to distract you with his lame jokes and made you play boardgames with him in Trent’s guest room that you used to occupy sometimes when staying at his house.

Both of you left the party a little past 12 am back then, giggling and shoving each other past the number of guests in Trent’s house before driving over to a local fast food chain. There were still loitering thoughts of Trent here and there during that night but somehow, Jude managed to divert your pain into a copious sound of laughter from his foolish punch lines.

If he knew what you felt for Trent back then, he made no comments about it. But he stayed with you and a few more times after that night meanwhile, you chose to ignore what you witnessed Trent doing that night.

Even though you only made-out a lot of times in an unlabeled relationship that went past beyond just being friends at that point, it still hurt to think that Trent did that in front of you. It still hurt that he didn't seemed to care that you were watching them moreover when he was openly kissing a girl on his lap in front of everybody before you and Jude left the house to drive around the city for food.

It just went like that.

Everything went unresolved and although you began to reconnect three months after that, everything was just not the same.

The both of you tried so hardㅡor you did at least to keep those memories and feelings buried deep down your mind because you have someone better now. Someone who provided so much of his attention, care and adoration for you. Someone you know would never ever think let out alone act on hurting you.

Jude was perfect in so many ways, and he was so good to you but you don’t want to let him go. Not even for the sake of Trent’s realizations.

Trent’s grip around your waist loosens, and from there he can hear your sniffs before he’s turning you around, lips on your forehead and hands on your arms.

“But you broke what we had Trent... and Jude was there to pick up the mess you made...” You murmur, letting the tears to freely cascade down your cheeks. “After your birthday party all I heard from your teammates was you seeing different girls each week Trent... how do you think I’d feel from that?”

“But you didn't reach out to me-”

“You fucking hurt me when you talked to those girls all night long and completely ignored me! You even had your tongue down some girl’s throat on the couch when Jude and I left and you expect me to reach out to you?” Pushing him off you, you pointed a finger against his chest. “Don’t put the blame on me for something that is completely on you Trent. I waited for you to explain yourself even though you really didn't have to... what we had was just like what you have with the other girls isn’t it? A friend with benefits type of th-”

This seems to trigger something in Trent because his pulling you by the arms and slotting his lips against yours just like how he did long ago.

Stunned, you were too dumbfounded to push Trent away. The realization only hits you like a truck when he pulls away and places his forehead against yours, whispering the words that you refused to hear until now.

“Don’t.” Trent caresses your cheeks in gentle motions of his fingers, cupping your face against the warmth of his palm. “Don’t ever fucking compare what you and I had to my stupid rendezvous. I was a coward. I didn’t admit that I love you, not even to my self until a few months ago. I didn’t want to lose you Y/N... I was so afraid to lose you that I'd rather lose my chances of being someone more than a friend to you than lose you in my life entirely if you didn't reciprocated my feelings and felt uncomfortable to be my friend again to stay.

I know I had such a douche way of showing that I didn't want you gone from my life and I admit that, I know that. I want to apologize to you in every waking day but I was way in my head to even recognize the selfishness that I did. And before I knew it, you had broken the news to me that you were seeing Jude and we pretended that those times didn't happen and I was okay with it. I was okay with it because at least you were talking to me again. I was okay with pretending that I was supportive of your relationship when all I ever wanted was what Jude have now because at least you acknowledged me again as someone in your life...”

Trent sighs, cursing underneath his breath before closing his eyes to keep his tears from falling. “I was so okay with you being with him because at least I got to see you again... I was so fucking okay with every minimal gesture from you because at least you were back in my life. I was ready to take everything you gave me baby, no matter how foolish and insignificant they may be... I’d take them all because they're from you...

I love you Y/N, and I don’t fucking care if you're with Jude. I’ll fight for your affection if I have to, if I get you by the end of it... it’s all gonna be worth it.”

With the tears freely rolling down both of your cheeks and like a twisted sense of irony, the phone in your pocket rings. You fish it out to see the contact name and face of the very person who had given you his everything ever since you became his girlfriend officially; the guy who tampered your broken pieces to keep you whole and kept you safe and loved.

　

　　　　　　　Incoming call...

　　　　　　　　　jude 🖤

a/n: i know this is a piece of information you lot already know but marcus rashford is so fucking fine like i would literally breathe dust if he ever do as much as look in my way-

read part two here !!

[allthecanadianpolitics]

Hi!

I hope that you had a great week and that the long weekend is going great!

Sorry I’m sending you an anon ask, I don’t like doing it because I would rather have a debate around this, but as often with unpopular (one might say controversial in some space) opinion, I know I may be branded as someone I don’t feel I am.

My question will be about the laïcité in Quebec. To sum it up, so you can have a good idea of what my position is before asking you my questions, I don’t not support the full laïcité, French-style, like I don’t support it in hospitals, public administration, like if you want to display your religion as a doctor, I think that you should be able to, as long as it doesn’t interfere with your job (i.e. refusing to practice an abortion because of your religion is not ok, in my opinion).

But for the schools, to be transparent, I am a teacher near Montréal, I teach in secondary, and I’d be inclined to agree with the laïcité of the public school. All of it. I feel like the school system should be a safe space for all kids, and by letting religion, and religious practices inside a public school, we are failing at this mission. I don’t care if you are religious, the job of a school and a teacher is to teach you, regardless of your personal beliefs. Like if you’re a Christian and you don’t want to believe in evolution, well that’s your choice, but you’re still gonna learn about it because this is the reality of our world, and your beliefs system shouldn’t interfere with that. And I don’t want, as a teacher to have to put disclaimer in front of all my classes.

So my question is: why are people (especially left leaning people) so against it? Because education is usually one of the center piece of the fight for tolerance and acceptance but I feel like we’re failing at providing a safe space for kids that grow up in extremely religious household and that would like to get out of it but don’t because of family and peer pressure.

I am not stupid, so if the answer is : because it disproportionately target people from specific faiths that may have to wear visible clothing (i.e. Muslim and Jewish), I guess you are right, but I think it is more important to provide a safe space for kids that want to escape religions.

I may have a bias, as I grew up in a very religious household (evangelical Christians) and my dad was a pastor so I never really had a say in it. I got out of it in the university, but I really wish the public school system would have helped me get out of it sooner.

If you read all of it, I hope I didn’t bother you too much with what could basically be my life story at this point. Thank you!

PS: as you can guess my first language is French, and I really am not an English teacher so sorry if my broken English is awful to read.

"Just as a preface, I'm not the usual person who answers the asks, I'm one of the two people helping the usual admin run the blog while they recover from injury. This is important because I'll be addressing some of my experiences growing up Muslim in Quebec, experiences that the admin is not trying to speak to and is leaving for me to address. First off, I do want to note you're speaking from the perspective of the privileged group causing religious oppression as opposed to the receiving end. As someone who was growing up 'Christian' trying to escape religious impositions from your father, you're not in a situation where your religion is being oppressed and suppressed systematically, nor are you suffering under presumption your religion is inherently violent. This is why your comment on your opinion being "unpopular" makes no sense. Your opinion is not unpopular, it is in fact supported by the CAQ and their adherents. Second, the left does not support this because the interests of the right in making such laïcité laws was never to protect children from religious imposition. When I went to private school, where those rules were strictly enforced only onto Jewish and Muslim students but not to Christians wearing cross necklaces (although ostensibly those rules applied to them too), the result wasn't anyone's religious beliefs being protected nor was anyone tolerated, as I was bombarded by homophobic harassment and bullying from our Christian peers and accepted by my Muslim peers. The result was alienation of the Muslim and Jewish students. You should remember that is the original intent of this legislation is not to protect anyone's rights but to remove them. They are telling Muslims "Leave your religion at the door, or you're not a part of society." This is the practical impact of this legislation, and nothing else. You are harming more students than you are 'saving''. Additionally, your worry that Muslims having a prayer room somewhere in the building is a religious imposition on other students, in your imaginary likely atheist ones, is based in islamophobia. The idea that parents can somehow enforce their children to practice at school just because there is a room that allows them to literally makes no sense either. Your concerns are misplaced." "Removing Muslims' ability to have a room to pray in at their school does not remove any mechanism by which parents can use to force their child to perform religious duties they do not want to do. But what it does is continue the operation of an increasingly hostile and alienating system in Quebec that wants Muslims to know they're not welcome in their own country. Would you seek the outlawing of abortion because many men force their partners to undergo them when they don't want to? No? Why? Because it's a basic human right to have access to that service. And just because people impose it on people in their family as part of their abuse doesn't mean it should be removed as an option for everybody, the majority of whom want to use it for legitimate and sincere reasons."

[eruden-writes]

Room & Board - Part 17 (Tabaeus x Reader)

paranormal fantasy vampire x human eventual triad (x werewolf)

Anonymous asked:

For the prompt submissions a vampire that feels guilty after feeding/attacking someone so they leave obscenely valuable ancient artifacts as payment/an apology?

x x x x x

First | Previous | Masterlist | Next

x x x x x

Get early access to Part 18, when it’s ready, on Patreon!

Comments, tags, and reblogs are real motivators for me, too! (●ˇ∀ˇ●)

Also, my inbox is always open for asks, so don’t be shy!

x x x x x

Lachlan Barrett. Your brain swirls, trying to place the name with some snippet from the journal or some other odd place you've heard the name before. It feels strangely familiar but, at the same time, unfamiliar.

As you're thinking, Lachlan takes a step toward your group. Immediately, Ewan tenses, growling so low in his chest that you can feel the vibrations in your stomach. Simultaneously, Tabaeus hisses from behind you, quiet and soft and sharp. Sandwiched between your companions, you hardly feel threatened, but the predatory air - plus Ewan and Tabaeus's reaction - piques concern in your gut.

"Please, try not to kick up too much of a fuss," Lachlan chuckles, though he does not take another step closer. He inclines his head to Tabaeus and Ewan, flashing them a look over the edges of his sunglasses with a pointy-toothed smile. "We are in a library."

The meaning was clear. You look around at the other patrons of the library: children and teenagers and people just minding their own business. People that are likely unaware of the two vampires lurking in their midst. Glancing back at Tabaeus, noting their stricken look, says enough.

A sudden thought crests your mind, overcoming the shock of the moment. Given this man had just lightly threatened a whole library, was it too hard to imagine he'd kill a town? Or a doctor?

It was a shot in the complete dark, but you had to ask. Tabaeus admitted to blacking out the name, so perhaps Lachlan would fall for your question. "By chance are you the same Lord Barrett who worked with Dr. Kieran Bennett in the 1880s?"

"Ah, Kieran! Yes. That is a blast from the past, as the young ones say." Something in Lachlan eyes glow, but not in a pleasant way. It reminds you of the iridescent shine of a predator's gaze. In a theatrical way, as if he were playing for the nosebleed seats, Lachlan rubs at his chin in a thoughtful way and leans toward you. He ignores Ewan's warning growl. "I did know my pet showed you to one of the vaults, but to think they gave you that information. That is such a surprise."

"I am not your pet," hisses Tabaeus, low and soft. As if they were not entirely certain they wanted to be heard.

"Are you not? Let us think about this," purrs Lachlan, his gaze shifting to Tabaeus. His voice takes on an irritating singsong quality as he counts off on his fingers, "You are pampered and cared for entirely. You need not hunt nor stalk the nights, need not risk being caught by a hunter. You are beloved among covens all over the world and gifts of clothes and food are showered upon you."

The description doesn't overly surprise you. And the longer Lachlan speaks, the more Tabaeus bristles behind you. Glancing back to your vampire, you press a hand to their arm, but it does nothing to ease their upset. Their red eyes remain pinned to Lachlan, afraid to let the other creature out of their sight.

"In return, all you must do is what you were created for," chuckles Lachlan, a vile gentleness to his voice that sets your teeth on edge. Underneath his words, there's an implication you can't quite put a name to.

As your gaze bounces back to Lachlan, Tabaeus spits out, "And what was I created for?"

The other vampire takes another step forward, ignoring Ewan's bristling snarl and how Tabaeus flinches behind you. Lachlan's arms spread wide, as if for an embrace, as he smiles like a television evangelist. "For memories."

Your brain sputters for a second, before a slew of awful imagery comes to mind. Bacchanal and violent and not all to the consent of Tabaeus. Weren't those always a trope in vampire media? They would drink and have sex and be cruel? Something about enjoying the world in excess while being undead. Or perhaps trying to feel something in their dead nerves?

Before you can stop yourself, you wrinkle your nose and blurt, "Excuse me?"

"I won't explain myself to a foodbag or a fleabag." A brief darkness flutters over Lachlan's features at your question, pinched at the edges. He doesn't glance to either you and Ewan, but waves a hand in your direction. "Tabaeus understands, deep down."

"Tabaeus?" Once more, you turn to look at your vampire, hoping to prompt more revelation. They refuse to look at you, at Lachlan, at Ewan. Their gaze has gone distant, averted. Something strains in their expression and you wonder if they've been accosted by triggering memories.

"They get this way whenever I mention their purpose," sighs Lachlan, shaking his head as if he is speaking about an ill-behaved child. "Now, I'm not a cruel master. I will give you time to say good-bye."

"And then what?" Enough suspicion was evident in Tabaeus's voice, you could picture them squinting their eyes critically at Lachlan.

That irritating smooth smile widens across the other vampire's lips. "And then we leave."

You hear Tabaeus swallow and their tone seems to lack confidence as they murmur, "And if I refuse to go?"

"Well, that will be such a pity, seeing as you live with two liabilities." Lachlan tapped a finger against his chin, eyes flickering to you and Ewan. You never realized how long and black his nails were before. His unwavering smile made your skin crawl. "Who are you willing to sacrifice first?"

Tabaeus snarls at the question, making you jump. You can feel their rage prickle along your back. In the short span of time it takes you to turn, a breeze passes by and you are shoved forward, away from Tabaeus. Their snarl is cut off in a choke. You gasp, stumbling only to be caught single-handedly by Ewan. As you turn, catch the sight of Lachlan backing Tabaeus to a far wall, hand around their throat.

The people around you don't even blink, don't even falter in their actions. You wildly wonder if Lachlan has some sort of cloaking power or if he managed to hypnotize all present with his mere presence. Vaguely, you sense Ewan's arm curl tighter around you, keeping you close.

One question resonates as you stare, frozen at the vampire: How old, how powerful, is this man?

"A good owner disciplines their pets when they misbehave." You hear the hiss-laden words even from the distance. Lachlan gives Tabaeus's throat a squeeze, another sound choking from your vampire's mouth. "Do not make me discipline you. That gets rather messy, doesn't it?"

Tabaeus glowers at Lachlan, before their gaze can take no more and they turn their face away. They refuse to look at you or Ewan. Shame rolls off them in waves as the other vampire pats their head with his free hand. "There's my good darling."

You and Ewan barely take a step forward, before Lachlan moves again. He bites his own free wrist with a sickening rending of flesh, and holds the dribbling wound to Tabaeus's lips. "Now, so your memories of me are fresh."

At first, they refuse to drink, turning their face further away from the offering, smearing strangely dark blood across their cheek. But Lachlan is not having that. His grip moves from Tabaeus's throat to their hair, knocking aside their bucket hat as he forces their mouth to his bleeding wound.

It doesn't take long for Tabaeus to succumb, to eagerly feed on the oozing blood. They lick the streams up first before latching onto the bite. Their eyes flutter closed, their hands reach to grip at Lachlan's arm, holding him close.

You're frozen in place, watching with nausea rolling in your stomach. Desperately, you look to Ewan, hoping he has some idea or answers. Heavy breaths make Ewan's chest rise and fall, his eyes scanning the area and the vampiric scene. Feeling your eyes on him, his gaze flickers to you and his expression is akin to a fearful dog in the face of a greater predator.

The silent look makes your skin crawl further, your stomach lurch.

"That's enough," Lachlan finally purrs over the grotesque slurping sounds of Tabaeus feasing on him. When Tabaeus refuses to let go, Lachlan yanks them by their hair with a snarl. "I said enough."

A pained gasp escapes Tabaeus as Lachlan hauls them away, blood oozing down his arm and down their chin. That sound seems to spur something in Ewan and he launches himself at the other vampire. You barely had a chance to jolt, a chance to raise your hand. As soon as Ewan makes contact with Lachlan, mingling snarls erupt just before the werewolf flies backward, across an aisle, into a shelf of books.

Books clattering around him, you can hear the wind escape Ewan's lungs. He isn't down for long, scrambling to his feet and baring his teeth, half-crouched and prepared for another strike. Despite the tension and adrenaline, he hasn't gone full wolf, though you're sure his stubble is thicker and his eyes far too inhumanly green.

Your attention flickers to the surrounding people. They still haven't seemed to notice anything and, if they had, Ewan was still human enough to not cause a stir.

Tabaeus, too, is back on their feet, swiping a hand over their chin. Their sunglasses sit askew, their red eyes alight and the whites of their eyes darkening at the edges.

Both fall still as Lachlan's arms suddenly clamp around you, his hand curling around the front of your throat. He was too fast to see, too fast for you and your shock-stricken brain to register. Or perhaps he has you enthralled as well, just less-so than the other unaware bystanders. His ice-cold touch burns and is unyielding to the point you, too, freeze in his grip. You barely even breathe.

"I can see you need time to understand your situation. I will give you a day, twenty-four hours, to say good-bye to your consorts." Disgust swirls inside you as Lachlan bends close, nosing along your throat. Tucked against Lachlan, it's strangely quiet and cold. No heartbeat, no breaths, no body heat. It's worse than Tabaeus, you muse as you hold your own breath.

"You should already be aware of the levity of the situation. But if not..." Lachlan yanks your head to the side, exposing your neck further. Sharp pinpoints dig into your throat, a threat that doesn't yet break skin. Your eyes snap shut as you steal yourself, feeling his amused breath play over your neck, "Well, I do enjoy the screams. Twenty-four hours, Tabaeus."

And like that, Lachlan is gone. Dissipating into shadows or just misting from existence, you're not sure. It is only after a few breaths, you realize the library's ambient sounds are returning along with heat and sunlight from the windows.

How did you not notice how quiet and cold it had gotten near Lachlan? Had it been that way in the diner? Your mind whirls, as if it has been electrified with jumper cables. Was that a powerful vampire's ability? Or was something else at play?

As your thoughts churn, Tabaeus - re-hatted - and Ewan crowd around you. Both ask you questions, visually check over your body, but you can't find enough words to answer them. You stare at the two for a long moment, before you realize you are shaking.

"Hey, it'll be okay, alright?" Ewan whispers, looping an arm around you. His head dips toward you, pressing his fluffy hair against you. His body heat is a blessing, cutting through the ungodly cold that has sunken to your bones.

You don't have a chance to respond as Tabaeus gathers you in their arms, as well. The odd cool-warmth of them easing Lachlan's cold from your body. Their grip on you is firm and fearful, almost quaking. Something holds them back from allowing themselves to tremble though. Some need to appear stronger than they feel.

Your heart lurches as the very thought crosses your mind.

"May we go home?" They ask quietly, still holding you close to their chest. You're crushed so tight to Tabaeus, you're not even sure if Ewan still has an arm wrapped around you.

Still unable to find words, unable to connect synapses to work your mouth, you nod with a noiseless whimper. The three of you are quick to leave the library, huddled close as you return to the safety of home.

[betterthanu333]

⭐️ diary June/27/24

Day 4:

Officially ended my fast of 93 hours because I ate 1 scrambled egg (no butter or oil) with seaweed and had petite baby carrots with tzatziki dip. Kinda mad at myself but my mom was on my head 24/7 today but I gained her trust tonight bc I had proof that I ate so I don’t think she’s gonna ask my about what I eat anymore. She’s been telling me that I’m gonna die if I keep starving myself (I tell her that I’m not but i am kinda 😊) and that I look deathly and my eyes and face show how I’m so thin and that why do I want to be skinner than I am, that I already am as skinny as a twig. WHICH I’m not guys istg I’m 174cm and I’m about I think 63kg or 62kg. I had kinda thick thighs (no thigh gap 💔🙏🏽) and I do have a kinda flat stomach with the most beefiest and loose fattiest upper arms. I’m tryna have that vs or at least Pilates build body.

Anyways I had a cup of green tea so flush this shit outta my body and then I’m gonna pop a melatonin to get enough sleep to wake up tmrw at sunrise to go walk/jog. Oh and today I went for only 1 walk💔 but it was like an incline and then so many fucking steep stairs I almost fainted bro wait actually that might be my fucking asthma but fuck it. Omg this hot boy in like college I think he had a beard was walking with his dad. My brother and I passed then with the incline up( the walking and stairs lead to the beach but we were leaving) and his father stopped to talk to a security man while his hot ass son was waiting AND I FEEL LIKE THAT MF SAW ME FROM AFAR & WAS LIKE HOLD ON LEMME WAIT.

So I passed him and his father was still talking with the security about how they’ve been living here for 15 years, keep in mind this place is on the hills and has an ocean view and the houses are fucking amaze balls ( rich rich bby ) anyways I passed by and I cursed at life bc we had to tackle the 1000 STAIRS, bro when I tell u I was fucking heaving, it was so embarrassing I hand to grip onto the handles and take a minute while they fricking passed me. Keep in mind my younger brother did not give 2 shits about me and I kept telling him to wait up.

Sadly I do not have the endurance nor stamina I thought I had with inclines and stairs which I need to BUILD STAMINA FOR BC THATS THE SHIT THAT TONES U AND MAKES U LOSE WEIGHT BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO BE READY FIR THAT WHEN I EAT ZERO shit so for the love of god if u annies have any tips on how to control ur fucking breathing or at least have energy before a workout, Which I thought I had since I ate carrots and drank half of a WTR MLN WTR drink that has electrolytes and I walked out the door thinking I was swell IH FCK I JUST REMEBERED I HAD A MATCHA WITH VANILLA SYRUP TODAY BC I WENT TO A CAFE WITH MY MOM AND SISTER but I didn’t drink it all ohhhhh myyy gooodddddd guys I fucking hate myself today I ruined my diet and for what. I’m not gonna binge though bc I built the self control for that and I need to pushed off the deep end more than this in order for me to binge.

I burned 1,745 cals today. I need to get back on my 2,000+ grind like day 2 but I walked/cardio 2 times that day which I plan on doing tmrw. I did do a blogilates and workout (the one where she wears a turquoise set) but I only burned 83 cals which isn’t much but ugh anyways.

This was an especially long diary check in so pls tell me if I need to shut the fuck a bit more and summarize my day better… also emojis are fucking cringe but I use them so u guys understand my tone 👅

Goodnight annies

[umemiyan]

1, 13, and 15 for the omegaverse ask game with umemiya?

EEEEEEEEEP okay let’s do this 👀👀🫶🏻 i also had to put mine under the cut LMAO oops i can’t shut up

omegaverse selfship ask game

1. what roles do you and your f/o fall into (alpha/beta/omega/etc.)? what’s the dynamic like between you?

unfortunately i cannot deny ume the alpha role. nor can i deny myself the omega role in this one 😔 usually i feel more beta or even alpha-coded in general, but with ume… it works. i can’t help myself.

but the dynamic is not overly traditional actually. at first glance, it may even look like we have opposite roles; hajime is a little more “soft” and “doting” than one might expect of a typical alpha, while i have a somewhat more rigid or domineering presence at times. but we have ✨layers✨

the hormones do tend to do their thing and pull us in somewhat different directions to where we are more inclined to act out of typical character at times. BUT DON’T GET IT TWISTED! i am not exclusively his little submissive and breedable doll, nor does he always go into super mega big alpha man mode. it’s a little more subtle and flexible overall, and we both work to take care of each other pretty equally depending on what’s needed or wanted.

13. are you and your f/o considered officially “mated”? if so, how and when did it happen? are there physical marks involved?

……almost 😳 i think we both really want it, but i’m more reluctant about sealing the deal. hajime’s instincts sometimes want to take over and mate me regardless, but he ALWAYS keeps himself as in control as possible. he respects my anxiety about it and wants to wait until i’m ready even if our bodies are screaming at each other to just do it.

it’s actually getting to the point where it’s hard for us to get too sexually intense because the self-control is starting to become difficult to maintain, even for him. we’re syncing up and otherwise behaving like true mates because the soul/psychological bond is so strong that it’s practically creating the real thing whether we like it or not.

so… if when it does happen, i can see myself being the one to initiate the actual mating bond 🫣 hajime’s at his wits end trying to hold himself back, basically saying we have to stop immediately or else he won’t be able to keep himself from officially mating me. so i just….. bite him 👀

15. to what degree are you possessive of one another and/or aggressive towards others?

outwardly on a typical day, not all that much. but we both have our moments.

hajime is rather easygoing and trusts others to respect the boundaries, but if they don’t, his attitude can certainly change. he’ll often offer a small warning at first (you know that moment where he’s telling sakura “kotoha’s just mature for her age” ? yeah. scarily cheerful and intimidating) but if that doesn’t do the trick then the smile leaves his face.

he’s actually a bit more overprotective than he seems or even realizes at times (like he is implied to be with kotoha), especially if i’m in a heat cycle and/or he’s in a rut. his patience gets a little thinner and he has to fight back any instinctive aggression that bubbles up beneath the surface.

i’ll have more stark moments of possessiveness during hormonal periods as well, but he usually puts them at ease. the trust we establish over time makes me feel less inclined to be envious of others who spend time with him or feel aggressive towards anyone who appears to want him. but if someone goes TOO far, i’m of course prepared to act, and it isn’t pleasant.

[sergeantsporks]

Gilded Family

Rating: Teen and Up, Gen

Ch 28/?: Rotted Memories

Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6 , Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11, Ch 12, Ch 13, Ch 14, Ch 15, Ch 16, Ch 17,  Ch 18, Ch 19, Ch 20, Ch 21, Ch 22, Ch 23, Ch 24, Ch 25, Ch 26, Ch 27

In which none of the previous golden guards or wittebro died, actually, they're all fine and living happily together as one big dysfunctional family

Ao3

Phoenix lurked outside of Sam’s lab, debating whether or not to go in. Was Sam even inside? Or would it just be Petro? He shuddered at the thought of sitting inside waiting for Sam with no one in there with him but his predecessor. Maybe he could just stay out here and catch Sam as he went in.

“Sooooooooooo,” Petro’s voice drawled, “You’re a smart guy, glasses.”

Phoenix jumped at the sound. We need to invest in soundproof doors.

“Thanks,” Sam answered shortly, “Glad you noticed.”

“You’ve got to know you can’t keep me tied up forever. Sooner or later someone’s going to slip, and I will take advantage of it.”

Sam heaved a sigh so loud that Phoenix could easily hear it through the door. “Make the pitch or don’t waste my time, Petro.”

“Alright, straight to the point; you’ve got a handle on magic, and you’re clearly logistically minded. You don’t have to hang around here. Those two idiots always dancing around in here causing havoc, having to use your skills for everyone else… you’re wasted here.”

“Are you going to tell me what you want, or not?”

“Let me out, and we can both leave. Whatever protection they’re providing here, I can match it. You and I can survive on our own out there, probably better than we can here. We could make our own base, and work on restoring the Isles to what it was.”

“To what it was?” Sam answered sharply, “Would that be with all the citizens dying from their coven sigils? Or perhaps the glorious empire you set up on the bones of Uncle Pip’s enemies?”

“Or something better,” Petro replied smoothly, “We could perfect the Empire. You could make it into something more to your liking. Get rid of the… issues. Between my combat prowess, and your brains—”

Sam chuckled. “Oh, okay. Okay. I think I’m picking up on your vision. Let me know if this sounds right; I let you out under the promise of an empire with my name in shining lights, and you immediately knock me out and run off to try killing Phoenix again. Is that right? Have I got it?”

“No. I’ve been doing some thinking, and you people were right. He’s not worth my time.”

“That is not what we said.”

“Still—”

“No.”

“What?”

“No. I’m not letting you out. I’m not running off. I stay here because I like it. I don’t need an empire, and I don’t want it.”

“But—”

“I’m intelligent, not arrogant. I don’t harbor any notion that I could control you if I did let you out, nor am I delusional enough to think you’ve changed your mind about killing Phoenix over the course of a day. Oh, and if you’re going to come up with a nickname, at least try to come up with something more creative than glasses. ‘Those two idiots’ Lake and Locke could sneeze out a more creative alias. Keep quiet and let me work. Or tell me where Belos makes his grimwalkers. Whichever you feel inclined towards.”

“If you let me out, I’ll tell—”

“Nope.”

Phoenix let out a long sigh. At least there was one person Petro couldn’t get to. Or at least, he hadn’t found an opening yet.

Phoenix raised his hand, knocking on the door.

It swung open almost immediately. “What?” Sam snapped. “Oh. Hey, Phoenix.”

In the lab behind Sam, Petro craned his head upwards to see. “Hiiiiiiiiiiii,” he called, “How’s that post-fight treating you, little bird? Having trouble moving yet?”

Phoenix’s muscles were, in fact, sore, and his scalp was still tender where his hair had been yanked, but he wasn’t going to let Petro know that if he could help it.

Sam shifted in the doorway so that Petro’s line of sight to Phoenix was blocked. “What’s up? Oh, in case you thought it was worth a shot, don’t try talking to Petro, he’s being obstinate.”

“Awwwwwwwwwww, thanks!”

“Quiet time,” Sam ordered, “or I’m not taking you on a walk!” He shook his head. “Anyway, whatcha need?”

“You take him on walks?”

“Yeah, we’re not monsters. And he’s got to go bathroom sometime. Don’t worry about it, what’re you after?”

“You said I could read Uncle Belos’ journal?”

“Oh. Sure. Yeah.” Sam stepped out of the doorway. “Go ahead. Just ignore Petro.”

That won’t work. He’d never let me just rip out pages in front of him.

Phoenix shifted back and forth on his feet. “It can take me a while to read,” he said sheepishly, “Is there any chance I could take it with me and bring it back when I’m done?”

Petro snorted.

“Qui-et,” Sam sing-songed. He retrieved the journal, turning it over in his hands. “…I don’t know. It’s really old, and a bit delicate. I’d like to keep an eye on it.”

“I’ll be careful,” Phoenix lied.

Maybe he won’t notice the missing pages?

Maybe I can say they shook loose of the binding?

“Hm.”

“Read it here,” Petro called, “Let’s have a story time. Read it out loud, I want to hear what he said about you and your failures.”

Sam shot Petro an irritated glance and shoved the book at Phoenix. “Take it. Just… don’t read anyone’s entry but your own? I mean, you can read mine, I don’t care, but some of us don’t really like talking about the past and… just don’t be nosy.”

“Did you read everyone’s entries?”

“Of course,” Sam replied matter-of-factly, “I had to, so I could check for any clues on how to reverse the draining spell, or how to unpetrify someone.” He coughed, shooting Petro a pointed look. “Which turned out to be a waste of time. Anyway. Respect their privacy okay?”

“Okay.” Phoenix tucked the book under one arm. “Oh, Sam?”

“Yep.”

“Do you know if anyone… has a problem with heights? Maybe Belos got rid of them by, I don’t know, tossing them off of a building or a bridge or something?”

Very smooth.

Sam squinted at him. “Why do you ask?”

Phoenix looked somewhere near Sam’s left ear to avoid actually looking him in the eyes. “I just figured… if we ever launch a rescue mission to the head, well, the archive house is floating, and if I’m picking someone to go…”

“You’d want someone with a good head for heights,” Sam finished. He still eyed Phoenix suspiciously, but nodded. “You might want to avoid Alex. Not sure if you could get them on a rescue mission anyway, but they’re not fond of heights. Or falling in general.”

“Thanks, Sam.” Phoenix turned to go, only to be stopped by a cleared throat.

“Phoenix? How’re your arms? Any problems?”

Phoenix froze.

He knows.

That was ridiculous. Sam couldn’t know, unless he’d been lurking around, and he wasn’t stealthy enough to get past Phoenix and Cherry’s radars. Unless…

Phoenix reached up to check his wounds, but they were normal. No dripping, nothing that Sam could pick up on. “No. Nope. No problems. They’re fine.”

“Mmm. Okay. I’d say have fun with the book, but it isn’t exactly a pleasant read.”

Sam closed the lab door, and Phoenix let out a sigh of relief. Step one complete. Now he just needed to get the diary to Cherry, track down Alex, get them to share the most traumatic experience of their life, go on a rescue mission, then get rid of this titan-forsaken curse before he got stuck in Belos’ memories forever. Sure. Fine. No problem.

Cherry was back in his room when Phoenix opened the door. The other grimwalker pored over a couple of sheets of paper and barely looked up when Phoenix approached. Phoenix glanced at the paperwork, but was met by a mess of lines and names on one paper and a chart on the other, both of them with text too small for him to read.

He held the diary out. “I got it.”

Cherry’s spine stiffened, and he jumped up. “You-! Wait, how?”

“I asked for it. Nicely. Don’t worry, this way, if pages go missing, no one will suspect you.” Phoenix chewed his bottom lip then burst out, “Sam’s already read your entry.”

Cherry’s hand faltered just shy of taking the book. “What?” he whispered.

“Sam’s already read it,” Phoenix repeated, “But Cherry, he hasn’t treated you differently—whatever it is you’ve done, whatever you think they’ll hate you for, Sam’s already proved that it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to destroy the evidence.”

Cherry stared at him, but didn’t respond, his hand still hovering near the book without taking it.

“I’m not saying you have to shout your past from the rooftops,” Phoenix said gently, “I’m just saying that you don’t need to worry over what people think. Everyone here has done something they’re ashamed of. They’ll understand.”

Phoenix set the diary in front of Cherry, and quietly exited the room, leaving the other grimwalker still frozen. He set off in search of Alex, reviewing what he knew of the grimwalker. It wasn’t much. He’d seen them at mealtimes, of course, but rarely at any other time. Jason had said once that they suffered from nightmares. What if they weren’t willing to talk about their death?

And where could he find them, anyway?

Phoenix studied the chart he’d snuck away out from under Cherry’s stack of paper when he’d set down the diary. Cherry’s handwriting was small, but at least it was neat.

Alex… Alex… wait, there’s an A… no, that’s not right.

Are they even on this?

“Hi, Phoenix!”

Clara sped down the hallway towards him, Ram in tow. She waved her arm, free of her cast.

“It’s all better now. Your signature helped with the magic!”

Phoenix smiled at that, crouching down next to her. “Yeah? What are you going to do with that brand new arm of yours?”

“Well. This is my good hand for drawing circles. My other hand? It’s okay at spells, but they can be a little wobbly. My good spell hand was stuck in the cast, but now that it is out, maybe I can help with the shields or the illusions.” She hummed. “Or I can help Frank make toast.”

“That’s a good idea. He’s not allowed to use the toaster on his own.” An idea struck Phoenix, and he held the chart up. “Hey, do you think you could help me with something? Can you find Alex’s name on here and tell me what they’re supposed to be doing?”

“Sure.” Clara disentangled her other hand from Ram’s, scanning the paper. “Okay, there it is! They aaaaaaaaareeeeeeee… helping feed the griffins. Oh, that sounds fun. Right, Ram?”

Ram eyed her skeptically, tugging her down to their level and whispering something to her.

“No, they don’t eat little witches. I think. Probably?”

Clara looked to Phoenix, who shook his head.

“Yeah, they don’t eat witches. C’mon, Phoenix, we’ll take you.”

Clara took his hand, and some reflex seemed to jerk Phoenix’s muscles without him thinking about it, yanking his hand out of hers. A tide of fear and something approaching the guilty anxiety that had come with failing a mission swept over him, tightening his chest.

“Who-oa,” Clara yipped, “Is your hand hurt?”

“Um.” Phoenix shook his head to clear the emotions away, tamping them down just as he always had in the coven. “I’m sorry. I just got startled.”

Still, he didn’t hold her hand, just followed her out of the house and to the griffin coop. Even though he knew where it was, he let the two kids take the lead, sweeping his eyes across the yard for potential threats as he followed up behind them.

His vigilance was ridiculous. He knew that. The house was protected from the Collector by its shield and invisibility spells. Still, traces of fear and anxiety stuck in the corners of his mind, and his eyes still darted everywhere, looking for hidden threats in the (now empty of Mole) garden, or around the corners of the house.

Not that he saw any.

Clara opened the griffin coop door, and immediately, four young griffins made a break for it, dashing around her legs and squealing.

“Get back here, you hooligans!”

Joseph ran down the ramp, jogging in place next to Phoenix. “Hi! Griffin chicks now rowdy griffin gradeschoolers! Careful with the door next time, I’m going to go round them up, bye!”

He dashed off after the chicks, calling their names. Lucy (or at least, Phoenix was pretty sure it was Lucy) waddled out the door, clucking and herding chicks closer together and towards Joseph. Phoenix shook his head, crouching down next to Clara and Ram.

“I need to talk to Alex alone. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Clara said brightly, and then promptly joined in the griffin-chasing fun, waving her arms and shouting and generally driving griffin cubs further away from Joseph and Lucy. Ram chased after her, eying Lucy warily. Phoenix watched them for a moment, unsure if they were trying to help him by keeping Joseph out of the coop for later, or if they were just very, very bad a griffin herding.

Alex peered out the door, their long hair swinging down around them and exposing one long scar going up their neck. “Um… Joseph? Okay. He’s gone. Alright. Cool. Right.”

“Hi,” Phoenix started.

“Hi.” Alex watched him for a second. “Oh. Welcome back. Glad you’re not dead.” They rubbed their arms. “Dad sort of thought you might be. Don’t tell him I said that.”

“Oh.”

What if I got it wrong?

What if it wasn’t Alex who had been in his dream? Or what if he wasn’t really seeing Belos’ memories, and he was just delusional after spending so long with the Collector and their reality warping powers?

Alex cleared their throat. “Um. Sorry. Did you need something? If not, I’m just gonna…” they gestured to the ramp and strode past Phoenix. Phoenix started to call after them, but couldn’t quite make his voice work to do it.

You’re wrong

You’re wrong again, you always are

Let someone else figure this out, you’ll only mess it up.

A small griffin streaked up the ramp, tangling up Alex’s legs. The grimwalker yelped, arms flailing.

Phoenix jumped forward, catching Alex’s collar before they could tumble over the edge of the ramp. His fingers curled in the fabric just like they had in the dream, and Alex looked up at him with the same wide, terrified eyes, the little scars from nicks and scratches that marked their face gleaming silver instead of the gold of a mask.

And then Phoenix pulled them upright and let go, and the moment was over.

“Hah—” Alex put one hand over their heart, sinking down to their knees. “Uh—sorry—thanks—I’m just going to… sit here for a bit.”

The fall from the ramp wasn’t a large one. At worst, Alex would have bruised their backside. But they looked like they’d narrowly avoided a fall from the tip of the titan’s horn. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. That is… yes. Thank you. I, uh.” Alex chuckled breathlessly, and a bit hysterically. “I don’t know why, I felt like… never mind.” They stood up brushing themselves off. “Bit of panic. I’m fine.”

“Reminded you of something?” Phoenix suggested.

“Maybe.” Alex fiddled with the end of their hair, twisting the ends around their fingers. “Thanks. Again. Sorry, I didn’t really wait to hear the answer, did you need something?”

“I was actually going to ask about…” Phoenix waved a hand at the ramp and the ground and Alex. “…that. Sorry, I don’t know how to ease into asking this, did you happen to get hurt falling off of a bridge?”

Alex’s shoulders hunched, and they combed their fingers through their hair frantically. “I didn’t fall,” they said sharply, “I was thrown. And I don’t want to talk about it. Did Cherry send you out to talk to me? Dad? Mom? It’s fine. I’m fine. It’s been years, it’s fine. I’m fine. Tell them I’m fine.”

“No, that’s not why I asked, I—”

Phoenix fumbled for his words. Did everyone know about the other grimwalker? Or was it supposed to be secret for now? Caleb hadn’t told him, and if it was supposed to be a secret…

His hesitation was apparently all Alex needed.

“Thanks for catching me. Bye.”

Alex bolted for the house, leaving Phoenix behind on the ramp.

That went well.

At least this confirmed that Alex was the grimwalker he needed. Not that it would help if he couldn’t get them to talk to him. Phoenix sighed. That weary, heavy feeling was starting to settle in his bones again, making him want to curl up right here. Let the infection take over and just… sleep.

Joseph paused next to him on the ramp, his arms wrapped around two wriggling griffin chicks. “What’s eating them? Everything alright?”

“No.”

“Do you need Luc—”

“I do not need Lucy to sit on me.”

Joseph eyed him skeptically. “Okay. If you say so.”

Clara and Ram carried the last writhing griffin chick between them, the creature growling and clucking playfully. “What do we do with it?”

“Take her inside,” Joseph told them. “Hey, kids, have you ever checked a griffin for parasites? Do you want to learn how?”

Phoenix shook his head, going back to the house after Alex. They weren’t in the kitchen—where Frank now threw water over the toaster while a wall of flame flickered dangerously close to the ceiling—and they weren’t in the hallways, either. Phoenix lingered near the front door, quickly dismissing the possibility that they’d left the house entirely. Had they gone to their room? Which one was even theirs?

He started down the hallway, but only made it a couple of doors down before stopping again, attention caught by an open door and Caleb behind it. The ortet shook a crystal ball furiously.

“Work, you wretched thing! It’s just a little cross-dimensional viewing, you can manage it!”

Phoenix knocked on the door. “Everything alright?”

Caleb jumped, dropping the crystal ball, which made a dull thunk as it hit the ground. “Fine!” He squeezed his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Okay. No. Wait. Not fine. I’m…” he sighed, picking up the crystal ball. “I’m trying to check in on the kids. Just to make sure they’re safe. But this stupid crystal ball is giving me nothing but static.” He spun the ball in his hands. “Before I thought it couldn’t find you because you…” He shook himself. “But now that I know you’re alive, and the kids are in the human realm, it should work, right? I know the location, the crystal ball should be attuned to Hunter anyway, so… so…”

Caleb sighed again, putting the crystal ball up on a shelf. “Who am I kidding? If communicating across dimensions was that easy, we wouldn’t have half our problems.”

“They’re safe,” Phoenix assured them, “They made it through.”

“That’s what I’m worried about.” Caleb shook his head. “I know it was the best option at the time, but the human realm is… it’s not a kind place. Not to people who are different, especially not Gravesfield. It can take even the kindest kid, and it’ll chew them up and spit them back out a monster. If it doesn’t just kill them immediately. I’m worried about them. Especially Jason.”

Phoenix felt sick. He’d assumed the human realm would be safer, and the human Luz had seemed nice enough, but he’d forgotten there must have been a reason Caleb and Luz had come here in the first place.

Maybe he had made the wrong decision sending Jason and Hunter and the rest of the kids through.

Maybe they should have stayed.

Maybe he’d gotten them out of immediate danger, but had sent them somewhere far worse.

“Maybe it’s changed,” he suggested, trying to convince himself as much as Caleb, “Maybe it’s different now.”

Caleb stared bleakly at the crystal ball on its shelf. “Phillip hasn’t changed in all this time. Why would the human realm?”

Phoenix didn’t know what to say to that, uncomfortably reminded of the plain brown journal sitting on Cherry’s bed, heavy with the words it carried. Cherry thought, hoped, really, that people could change. Phoenix would just have to hold onto the hope that the same was true of the human realm.

For the kids’ sake.

Caleb shook his head. “Nothing we can do about it now. They’re smart, hopefully they’ll lie low. Keep out of trouble.” He eyed Phoenix, looking him up and down. “How are you? How are your arms?”

The hairs on the back of Phoenix’s neck tingled. “They’re fine. Why would you ask that? They’re fine.”

One of Caleb’s eyebrows climbed upwards. “Yeah?”

“Yes.”

“And everything else? You got roughed up pretty badly. By the Collector and Petro. Are you doing okay?”

So he had just been generally concerned. Of course, he was probably suspicious about Phoenix’s arms now. Phoenix rubbed the back of his neck, acutely aware of the tiny stings and aches coming from all over his body. “…I’ve been worse.”

“Take it easy,” Caleb said gently, “There’s no shortage of help here; you don’t have to solve everything all on your own. I know you’re worried about the other Grimwalker, but you can’t help anyone if you’re falling apart yourself.”

Phoenix nodded along to the familiar advice. “So… any ideas?”

“The keep would be a likely bet,” Caleb offered, “Maybe the head, where he kept the door—and where the journals were. Unfortunately…”

“Those are both areas controlled by the Collector,” Phoenix finished, “What if they are there? What are we going to do?”

“I don’t know. We can’t just leave them. But going directly into Collector’s territory…” Caleb shook himself. “We’ll figure it out. We don’t know for sure that they’re at either of those places, and even if that’s the case, Evelyn is excellent at breaking into places she shouldn’t be. We’ll think of something. For now, you should see Auric again. The last thing you need is a regular infection on top of a magical one.”

Phoenix nodded.

“And Phoenix? If you need to talk about what happened with the Collector, or what happened with Phillip, or anything else…”

And what was he supposed to tell Caleb?

That he’d lied and connived his way out of the archive house? That he’d left Eda and Lilith and Darius behind, and hadn’t even managed to get King out safely like he’d promised? That he’d planned to go back? That he actually felt bad for the Collector, the one they were all hiding from, who’d torn up their home and turned the population into toys? That he was still lying, this time to them, about his arms, about the memories and dreams, and he’d dragged Cherry into it? That all of this hiding and lying was building up in his chest and if he tried to think about it, he was worried he would fall apart, and somehow, the infection in his arms would spread and he’d turn completely into a shambling monster like Belos, but maybe that was happening anyway with all the lies he’d told?

Caleb looked at him expectantly, but Phoenix just nodded. “I’ll let you know,” he managed. He ducked out of the room, away from Caleb’s watchful eye. Enough stalling. He’d ask Cherry to help him find Alex, and he’d somehow manage to talk Alex into giving him information, and then he could finally, finally tell them about the infection, and he wouldn’t have to lie anymore.

The room was devoid of Cherry when he reached it, and the journal was nowhere to be seen either. Blankets had been dragged from the bed, leaving it a mess of exposed pillows and sheets. Phoenix stood in the center of the room, scanning for a clue as to where Cherry had gone, his heart throbbing in his throat.

Shouldn’t have helped him steal that book

Just making all sorts of good choices today, huh, Phoenix?!

He heard a muffled thump from the closet, and he opened the door. Cherry blinked in the sudden light, burying his face in the blanket he’d wrapped around his shoulders.

“Leave me alone,” he groaned.

His eyepatch lay on the floor next to Belos’ journal.

Phoenix squeezed into the closet, closing the door and sitting next to Cherry. He didn’t say anything. Just sat, waiting.

“Sam knows,” Cherry whispered, lifting his head, “You’re seeing Belos’ memories, so it’s only a matter of time before you find out. Hunter was in Belos’ mindscape, there’s no telling what he’s seen.” He clutched at his head, and for the first time, Phoenix saw under the eyepatch.

He’d expected that Cherry’s eye would be torn up and scarred, and he’d known it was blind. But he’d always sort of assumed it was there. Instead, a dark cavity loomed at him like an endless cave in Cherry’s face.

“It doesn’t matter if I destroy the pages,” Chery continued, his chest heaving, “It doesn’t even matter if all of you promise to keep it secret. There could be other records out there, copies of the journal, accounts from someone who lived through it, some survivor who’s passed down a story through their family—I can’t control it all, and I’ll never know what’s out there, what… what…” His fingers tightened in his hair, tearing at it. “They’ll hate me.”

“Cherry, they—”

“I know we’ve all done something wrong for Belos, I know that we all have regrets, but I was worse, Phoenix. I was like Petro; he’s right about that. I destroyed homes, entire towns! I ruined lives, I ended lives, and I didn’t even question it, because it was what he told me to do. And I—I can’t ever make up for it, because now I’m here. I’m here, and I can’t ever—I can’t—and there isn’t any making up for it, there wouldn’t have been even if I’d never left my time.” Cherry buried his head in his blanket again. “They’re all looking up to me,” he groaned, “They’re all trusting me. And I don’t want to see them hate me, I don’t want… And Jason, titan, Jason, he can’t find out.”

“Jason thinks the world of you,” Phoenix said quietly.

“That’s the problem. I don’t want to let him down, I want to be the person he thinks I am, but I already failed him. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

“Cherry. You’re not that person anymore. You’ve changed.”

“Have I?”

“Yes!”

“Really? A long time ago, you asked if I’d just replaced Uncle with someone else.”

Phoenix stumbled for words. He barely remembered that. It had been months ago! Forget Cherry, he’d changed since then! “That was—Cherry, that was wrong, I was new at this, and I didn’t—”

“No. You were right. I’m still…” Cherry waved a hand around. “Following orders. Doing what someone else tells me to.” He laughed hollowly, pulling his blanket tighter around himself. “If Dad and Mom asked me to kill someone, I probably still would, no questions asked.”

“I don’t think that’s tr—”

“Really? They told me to protect you, and I nearly destroyed Petro’s inner self when he threatened you. I haven’t changed. I’m just following someone more benevolent than Uncle.”

“No.” Phoenix stood up, nearly hitting his head on a shelf. “No. You’re wrong. You’re using what I said as an example? Well, that same day, you let me out, despite Caleb’s orders to keep everyone inside and safe. Right now, you’re not telling Evelyn and Caleb about the infection getting worse, even though you know they’d want you to, because you know it’s how we’re going to find the last Grimwalker. Maybe you are following orders from someone better. But you’re also disobeying them when you think it’s the right thing to do.”

Cherry rested his chin on his knees. “Hm.”

“You help Evelyn and Caleb because you believe what they want is good, really good, not just because they told you to do it and you’re scared of what they’ll do if you don’t. I know we thought we were doing the right thing with Belos, too, but they let you listen to your own conscious in a way he didn’t. And when you think they’re not right, you do something else. You have changed—you wouldn’t have even considered disobeying Belos before, but you’ve made your own decisions here. What does Petro know? He’s been here and awake for what, a day? Two? And all he wants is for one of us to slip up so he can wriggle out and try to kill me. He doesn’t know you.”

Cherry sighed, tugging on his hair. “No one really does. They don’t know the full story. Even with what I just told you, you still don’t have all the details.”

“They know who you are now. And that’s what’s important to them. Do you know every full backstory of every person in the house?”

Cherry opened his mouth, then closed it, and shook his head.

“And do you care about them anyway?”

A nod.

“And if you found out that they’d done something horrible and had been beating themselves up over it for years, what would you tell them?”

“That they can’t change the past,” Cherry grumbled, “And it’s what they do to fix it or to be better now that matters.”

“So why would it be any different for you?”

“I get it, Phoenix. I know. I know it doesn’t make any sense. Just…” Cherry sighed, picking his eyepatch back up. “I know I’m being hard on myself, but that doesn’t help me stop, and that doesn’t mean I think I should stop. And even if I feel that way about others, that doesn’t mean they’ll feel the same way about me. I just… don’t want them to look at me differently. I don’t want them to look at me the way they look at Petro.”

“I know logic doesn’t help,” Phoenix said quietly, slowly turning the door handle, “But they don’t look at Petro like that because of what he did. They look at him that way because he keeps choosing to be that person.”

He slipped out of the closet, shutting the door behind him.

Alex lurked outside of Cherry’s room, watching him. “What were you doing in there?”

“Talking.”

“Reporting to Cherry?”

Phoenix pushed past them, closing the door to the room to give Cherry more privacy, and to give he and Alex privacy from Cherry. “I don’t report to Cherry. He’s not my boss. What are you so worried about him finding out, anyway?”

Alex eyed him, but didn’t respond.

“Come to think of it, why’d you come back? You seemed dead set on getting as far away from me as possible.”

“Wanted to know what you were saying about me. You really aren’t reporting to Cherry? Or Mom or Dad?”

“No. Why? Don’t you trust them?”

Alex fiddled with the ends of their hair, combing it out. “Oh. I do in general. I… they always want to help. And it can get a bit much because sometimes I just want to give it time. See if it goes away on its own. Which it usually does. For a while.”

“What does?”

“You know. The usual. Nightmares and such.”

“And panic attacks when you fall?” Phoenix suggested.

Alex gave him a reappraising look, and started to edge away. “Hm.”

“I’m not interested in trying to help you,” Phoenix blurted out. “Wait—that came out wrong. I mean, if you want to handle it on your own, if you think it just needs time, that’s fine. I don’t want to push you, I won’t try to talk you through it.”

“Then what do you want?”

“It’s just—” Phoenix took a deep breath, organizing his thoughts in a line. Half-truths instead of full lies this time. “I’m trying to find something, and I think… I think you might have accidentally seen where it is. All I need to know is where… it… happened.

“Oh.” Alex tugged on the end of their hair again. “Hm. You might be out of luck finding… whatever it is. At least for now. Belos tried to kill me at the head—you probably saw the bridge while you were there.”

Phoenix’s heart dropped. Of course. Right in the middle of the Collector’s territory. They’d be lucky to get in alive, let alone get out with a new grimwalker in tow. But… maybe if they did go…

The gears in Phoenix’s head started to gently click. If they went up there anyway, for the Grimwalker, he could convince them to go for Darius as well. And Eda, and Lilith. They might even be able to rescue King—if the Collector left his side at all.

A small voice whispered that the Collector would be all alone if they did, with only Terra and Odalia, but he pushed that part down. For now, they needed to focus on the last grimwalker. Then they could go after everyone else. And then… maybe the Collector?

As if isolating him is going to make him hate you less.

“…Phoenix?” Alex ventured, “Are you still with us?”

Phoenix shook himself. “Um. Yes. Thank you. Thank you, yes.”

“Sure. But, uh… after I ran, why didn’t you just ask Dad where I died? He rescued me from there.”

Phoenix hadn’t gone to Caleb because that would have meant telling him HOW he knew that Alex had information, which would mean immediate surgery on his arms. But obviously he couldn’t tell Alex that.

“Didn’t think of it,” he lied. “Thanks, Alex.”

Phoenix started towards where he’d last seen Caleb, but stopped halfway down the hall, weighing his options. Caleb was concerned about the grimwalker, but he was also cautious. And he’d admitted himself that he’d probably ask Evelyn for advice on sneaking into the head anyway. If the way she’d shaken Petro for information was any indication…

Phoenix switched tracks, heading outside instead. Loud ‘ew’s burst from the griffin coop, but he ignored them in favor of the redheaded witch examining the magic on the fence. “Evelyn?”

“Hey. Oh, you—” Evelyn kicked a flickering fencepost. “Work!”

Surprisingly, it flickered two more times, then resumed a steady blue glow. Evelyn drew a circle, and the entire fence shuddered, hummed, and finally faded back to its steady pulse of magic. Evelyn dusted her hands off, and turned to face him.

“Maintenance. Never as sophisticated as people think. What’s up?”

“I know where the last grimwalker is.”

Evelyn’s constant energy stilled, and her golden eyes fixed on him like a fairy that had just spotted a bat. “How?”

“No time to explain, I’ll do it when we get back. Belos kept his grimwalkers growing at the head, at the very bottom of the skull. The whole thing’s probably been shaken up and damaged by the Collector’s remodeling, so we need to get them now.”

Evelyn gave him a short nod, and ran back towards the house. “Come on,” she called over her shoulder, “If we want to get out of this alive, we’ll need a couple of things—and a couple of people.”

Phoenix was about to follow when a chill swept over him, despite the sunlight, and his right hand started to twitch of its own accord. He reached slowly up to check his arms, even though he already knew the infection was oozing out again. Rolling up his sleeves revealed veins of blackish green extending all the way to his wrists, throbbing in time with his heartbeat. Phoenix rolled his sleeves back down, and tucked his hands into his pockets to hide their shaking, following Evelyn inside.

Just a little bit longer.

It’s almost done.

Keep it together for just a little bit longer.