#i do wish there were less ballads as always

[blinder-secrets]

Finland came second! :-) I totally understand what it was one of your favorites. It was so catchy and fun and made me laugh. And Albania's song and performance was so heartwarming <3 What other songs did you like? Estonia's song made me emotional, and Austria's song was so catchy. I hope you enjoyed wayching the contest :-) Btw I loved The Liverpool Booksong :-)

i knowwww i was so gutted 😭 i love loreen but i really was rooting for finland </3 i actually quite like portugals! and spains! im trying to think who else.... hm...oh croatia was fun, i love when countries send acts that are just beyond description

[fastlikealambo]

Connubium.|| Coriolanus Snow x Black Fem Reader Chapter Eight

table of contents.

Chapter One.

Chapter Two.

Chapter Three.

Chapter Four.

Chapter Five.

Chapter Six.

Chapter Seven.

Summary: Stealing from The Capitol is a deadly offense, yet you’ve done it more times than you can count but when you do something you should not have done, Volumnia Gaul decides a fate for you that might just be worse than death.

Notes: This takes place post The Ballad of Songbirds And Snakes and Coryo is in his last year at The University, studying under Dr. Gaul. This will not follow canon, I’m not an expert on all the lore so I apologize if I get things wrong.

Disclaimer: You know Coriolanus is a POS, I know Coriolanus is a POS, please don’t yell at me because this is just a fun little story, something for thee hotties, and  if you feel that strongly against President Snow, please let me know if you’d like me to sign you up for tessarae.

18+ only

Thanks for the love and messages on chapter seven! If you want to see chapter nine, comment or reblog, feedback makes me want to continue!

 “You heard it here, if you want to find the love of your life, just throw yourself into traffic!  If you’re just tuning in at home, I’m Lucky Flickerman and we’re wrapping up here with Coriolanus Snow, our very own candidate for President and his lovely fiancée!  Before we go, is there anything you lovebirds want to say to the people watching at home?”

The lights were too hot, your dress felt plastered to your skin, but you gave Panem a big toothy smile and looked right into the camera.

  “I just want to thank everyone for their kindness and hard work throughout the campaign so far.” You said, grasping Coryo’s hand, the light catching your engagement ring.

 “A brighter future is just beyond the horizon and as long as we come together, we can build a better Panem.” Coryo said, giving your hand a squeeze.

   “And we’re clear! I can’t wait for your wedding, I’ll be the one with the mic, have you gotten my dietary restriction brochure?”

The wedding was less than two days away and the election month after and it was all just so much. 

How could you be getting married without ma or pa there?

How could you be getting married when your entire courtship was based on one lie after another?

By putting one foot in front of the other because you were not going to turn back.

Too many thoughts dancing around in your head caused you to miss a step on the way off the stage but with a steady hand, Coryo helped you down the remaining step.

   “It’s a bit warm here, let’s go outside.” You said with a tired smile, leaning heavily on your fiance as you two made your way out of the studio and back to the waiting car.

    “After the wedding we’ll have  time to slow things down before the election, I promise.” Coriolanus said, kissing your hand.  You put your head on his shoulder, leaning into his touch, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep but you were whisked away into a final fitting of your wedding dress with Tigris, Coriolanus off to a meeting with Strabo.

  “ It’s magnificent, Tigris, truly. Thank you for doing this, I’m sure you have more important work to be doing.” You said softly to the blonde who was currently under the gown’s massive skirt, embroidering tiny little roses along the hem. With a happy sigh, she stood up, looking in the mirror at you.

“ I’m happy to help! Are you nervous for tomorrow? They’re calling it the wedding of the century, Fabricia said it’s going to be played throughout Panem.” Tigris said, taking a few pins out of the dress and slowly circling you to make sure everything fit like it should.

“I’m nervous but I’m excited for it to be over. I just wish my mother and father were here.” You said honestly, looking down at the ground. Tigris put her arm around your shoulder and the gentle gesture made you cry harder than you thought you would, shoulders shaking as Tigris placed a pale pink handkerchief into your hand.

“I’ve always wanted a sister, for so long it’s just been Coryo and Grandma’am but now that you’re here I finally get my wish. There was a time when I looked at Coriolanus and all I saw was his father looking back, but from the moment he brought you home, I’ve only ever seen a man in love.  You deserve to be happy.”

Tigris Snow must be the best person the Capitol ever produced.

After copious amounts of tea and a few more tears, you bid Tigris goodbye, heading back to your own home, head and heart still heavy.

You had no idea it would have gone like this, hell you thought you wouldn’t last a week in The Capitol but look at you now, the almost wife of a presidential candidate.

You made it.

But at what cost?

  “A deal is a deal, little thief. Your precious ma and pa are responding well to the antidote to my poison, I suspect they’ll be breathing fully on their own in a few weeks. Would you like me to wheel them to your reception?” Dr. Gaul said, sipping tea at your counter.

You ignored her, settling into a chair of your own, waiting for the car to pick you up to have dinner with Coriolanus. This gilded cage would be gone after tomorrow and to some extent so would Dr. Gaul’s influence too and that made you want to sprint down the aisle more than anything else.

“Will they be safe now that I’ve given you what you want?” 

Dr. Gaul clapped her hands and nodded, stepping down from her stool and heading for the door.

“ You should know by now that no one is truly safe in this world but once they are healthy enough, they can do as they wish, my games with you are coming to an end and I’ll surely miss these little chats.  You’re not what I expected, little thief, I told you to steal a boy’s heart and you stole all of Panem. What a marvel you’ve turned out to be.”

A marvel.

You felt like anything but.

 You were surprised when Coriolanus asked you to dinner, having thought he would want to spend the night before his wedding going over a new campaign speech in his solitude or doing whatever Capitol bachelors did, but he just wanted to sip wine and hold your hand under candlelight.

It was a quiet affair but it calmed your mind enough to realize that Coryo had brought you the one thing you had craved for quite some time.

Silence.

 “Let’s go for a walk, darling.”

The streets of The Capitol were empty this time of night and  you couldn’t help but smile when you realized where Coryo was leading you. The street where you first met looked no different at night but you couldn’t help but feel a sense of wonder in it.

“This is very romantic but it might be a little late to change the wedding venue. Is getting married in the middle of the street a Capitol wedding tradition I’m unfamiliar with?” You asked playfully, looking up at the stars.

Just one more month.

If Coryo could win the election, there would be nothing Ravinstill could do, Gaul couldn’t change her mind and keep your parents as lab rats.

You would be safe.

    “And what are weddings like in District 6?”

You did not move.

This moment had been a long time coming, perhaps too long for someone with his intellect, but here you were. Your turn in his direction was excruciatingly short, head unbowed and eyes clear. You would not beg or weep for forgiveness.

Before you could utter a word, Coriolanus Snow got on his knees before you.

  “I know every secret you have kept from me, every lie you have said to my face yet if you asked to burn down The Capitol, I'd fetch a match. What you need to understand is that I will never not want you and only you, by my side.”

He knew.

You met his gaze and stepped forward, placing a hand on his cheek.

   “I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry for stealing from the capitol or pretending to get hit by a car so that Dr. Gaul wouldn’t murder my parents. Most of all, I’m not sorry for meeting you, Coriolanus, and I wouldn’t change that for the world.”

   “Do you love me? No lies, just a question. Do you love me?”

  “It was easy to lie to you but it was even easier to love you. I have been moving for so long that I’m afraid of what happens if I stop. I love you but what happens now?”

Coriolanus stood up, put his forehead to yours and wrapped his arms around you tight.

   “ Don’t move then, all you have to do is stand still. Stand still beside me and I swear to you, no one will harm you again.” He whispered in your ear.

You didn’t have to wait a month.

In the arms of Coriolanus Snow, you were safe.

Morning came quickly and between Tigris and attendants, you looked less like yourself and more like a bride in your extravagant gown, curls on top of your head. From behind the curtain you could see the venue start to fill up with the Capitol’s finest.

    “You look so beautiful, oh I can’t believe Grandma’am isn’t here to see this!” Tigris said, fluffing out the back of your gown and you reached over and squeezed her hand. She had been downright giddy when you asked her to walk you down the aisle and you were relieved when she accepted as your only other choice was Dr. Gaul.

  “Ma Plinth has your something borrowed, I just have run back to The Corso and then we can get started. The first truly good day in such a long time.” Tigris said softly and pulled you in for a quick embrace before running off.

 An attendant brought you a glass of chilled posca and you sipped while you waited, the nerves starting to make you sweat just a little.

The sound of footsteps filled you with relief and you turned from the vanity with a smile.

       “Tigris? Are we ready to start?”

The question went unanswered as the person who entered your area was not Tigris but President Ravinstill.

      “Well, don't you look stunning, young lady. If I didn’t know better I’d think you were Capitol born and bred but we both know that’s not exactly true.” He said with a dark chuckle.

    “Mr. President, the wedding is about to start. I’m sure we can have someone show you to your seat.” You said in a chilled tone but he paid you no mind.

   “You were supposed to tame him, dear. You were supposed to curb his political ambition till I got a hold of him so I could mold him in my image. Instead, you had him embarrass me in front of the press with this adorable campaign of his that you both intended to see it through to the bitter end. That just won’t do.  Tonight, district whore,  you will kill Coriolanus Snow.” 

No.

No more.

 “No.”

 “I don’t think I heard you, young lady.”

You stood to your feet and stood directly in front of the president, calm and collected.

  “ I said no, Mr. President. The Capitol no longer gets to make a monster out of me after today so enjoy the wedding and we will see you on election night.” You said simply.

He could kill your parents.

He could destroy District 6.

You both knew that but only you knew that you had simply had enough and there were worse games to play.

   “Oh my dear, if only your answer was different.”

The sound of racing footsteps echoed as Coriolanus came racing into the room, concern and confusion on his face.

   “The guards said you wanted to talk to me, what’s wrong, what’s going on?” He asked, taking your hand but froze when he saw President Ravinstill.

  “Right on time, my boy!  I called you in here because I wanted you to see what happens when you attempt to humiliate me, to disgrace Panem. I want you to see that even on your happiest day, you cannot stop snow from falling.” President Ravinstill said.

You were sweating heavily now.

When did it get so hot?

  “Coryo? Coriolanus, something’s wrong.”

Coriolanus turned back to you, his features shifting to a picture of horror at the sight of blood gently trickling down your nose. He caught you before you could hit the floor, gasping for breath, your blood coating his fingers.

  “ Coryo, what’s happening?” You asked weakly, looking all around but Coriolanus gently placed your head on his lap.

 “You’re okay, you’re okay, just look at me, look at me darling.” He said softly, trying to keep the panic from his voice.

 This couldn’t be happening.

 You risked it all, for what?

  “Do you love me?” Coriolanus asked, pressing flat bloody fingers against your pulse, the erratic beat beneath his fingers made him want to sob but he had to stay in control. It would all be over soon.

  “I do.” You choked out, tears starting to fall down your cheeks. Everything around you was starting to blur but Coriolanus gently rocked you in his arms. 

  “Then eyes on me, Mrs. Snow.” Coriolanus said with watery eyes. Through the sleeve of your wedding dress something you could feel something prick your arm but you were too far gone to truly realize what was happening.

  “Tell my ma, tell her I’m sorry.” You whispered, eyes slowly closing despite Coriolanus’s cries.

  “Don’t worry dear boy, I’ll make the announcement that you’ll be dropping out of the race. Someone should not have drank the posca.” President Ravinstill said, a throaty chuckle that ended with a hacking cough, one that the guard closest to him mimicked.

Enjoy the show. 

Outside the bridal area, he could hear others coughing too but with his wife still on his lap, he turned his attention to the president. A wave of calm engulfed him and despite himself, Coriolanus Snow began to laugh.

“And you should not have drank the champagne, Mr. President.”

Coriolanus enjoyed watching Ravinstill crumble to the floor besides his bodyguards, flecks of foam and spittle falling from the former president's now violet lips. 

Wedding guests screamed and the sounds of falling bodies echoed throughout the venue but Coriolanus ignored them in favor of breathing for you.

After all, these things happen in war.

That’s chapter 8! Thank you so much for reading, I’m so sorry for the delay! I just wanted to try this ending instead, I really, really hope you don’t hate it. As always, if you want to see the finale, please comment and reblog! Love you all!!!

[dogwithrabies]

【★】 cws: none! sub!scara, gn reader but described as afab. slight dacryphilia igl

【☆】 the spacing looks kinda wonky augh, anyway! it's my first time actually writing something serious, so enjoy!

word count: 4.5k

Why does it have to be me?

You mentally curse Aether while taking another step forward. After all the adventures you two shared, he bailed out when Nahida asked him to accompany The Wanderer on his little solo mission. Not only that, but he also suggested your name, something along the lines of “(name) seems to be more fitting for this job than me”. They didn't even give you a notice. The news of your impromptu trip came at the last second, leaving you with only a few hours to prepare, both mentally and physically.

You’re momentarily dragged out of your thoughts as you feel your foot slip, quickly putting your hands forward and catching yourself. It takes you a second to compose yourself and keep on hiking, while your companion just looks at you with an expression of irritation and floats by you.

He insisted on taking a shortcut, cutting right through deep vegetation and saving up time. That is if you can fly. Now, he stands on top of the hill, looking down on you as you stagger to keep up.

Slowly sinking back into your thoughts, you wonder… maybe Aether saw right through your annoyed façade, scowling every time you were faced with Kunikuzushi. Sure, he was rude and sometimes unbearable- but he had such a pretty face. And pretty eyes. And soft lips.

His hair also looked so soft, you wonder how it would feel to run your hand through it, slowly combing it. Maybe even pulling and tugging on it- alas, thinking of him, your thoughts always sway in a different direction.

The wanderer folds his arms over his chest. “This place seems adequate for resting. If it wasn’t for you, I would’ve already arrived at the destination. Fragile humans, always needing to rest after even a small effort.” Another not-so-subtle quip aimed at you. You stopped listening as soon as he started listing the other ways you “slowed him down”, focusing on setting up camp instead. You wished he could just shut up. Forever. But his voice sounds so heavenly, if only he wasn’t such a pain in the ass.

Unbeknownst to you, his eyes fall on your back, following your movements.

He can’t help it, really.

He’s always found himself strangely attracted to you. His gaze follows your hands as they pull and tug while setting up the tent, silently wishing they could do the same to him. He still doesn’t want to admit it to himself, but he was relieved when he found out Nahida choose you to accompany him. Even during previous interactions he has always secretly hoped to have your attention on him, throwing insults at you, enjoying every single glare you throw at him.

The thought of liking someone, especially if that someone is you , irks him. He has never needed anyone. Getting close to people (to humans, no less), is just asking to get betrayed again. He has seen it over and over again, relationships falling apart over the stupidest reasons, cheating and lies and whatnot. The aftermath is even more pathetic, fake sympathy when both parties are on “good terms” or the sadness of a heartbreak.

Despite finding himself starting over, leaving his life as The Balladeer behind, old habits die hard.

So he finds himself in an internal conflict between wanting you and hating you. The latter more often.

The sound of the tent opening grabs his attention- “are you coming inside or not?” you say, your head poking outside while holding the zipper down. Sighing, he takes off his hat and sits down next to you, crossed legs and staring off in the distance. He hates how soft your voice sounds when you’re not busy arguing with him. Soft breaths and defeated sighs as you pull the blanket over you both, covering his legs.

Once again, he finds his gaze falling on you, your back is facing him and your chest is heaving up and down as you breathe. He has half a mind to reach out and touch your hair, but he holds back, you’re still awake. Maybe he could wait until you fall asleep to silently satiate his wish, but the fear of getting caught is stronger. So he sinks under the blankets and settles for simply watching you sleep.

The Wanderer stirs awake, breathing softly as his eyes try to focus.

No light filters through the tent, assuming it’s still nighttime, he lays his head back on the pillow, but when trying to roll on his back, he feels his arm catch on something. That’s when he takes notice of the warm sensation of your body against his. And his arm on your waist, holding you tightly. A bit too tightly, you slightly stir in your sleep and can feel you press against him while your back arches.

He feels himself stiffening, a warm sensation down there, taking notice of how his shorts feel too tight and the tent too small. He removes his arm from your hips and tries to pull the other one from under your back, but to his utter dismay you turn, now facing him, luckily still sleeping.

Not so luckily, your arm is draped on his chest and your leg rests in between his, dangerously close to his semi-hard cock.

Sighing in defeat, his free arm on his forehead covering his eyes, he tries to fall asleep once again.

He doesn’t really need to sleep, physically speaking he does not get tired. During his fatui days, he was used to spending weeks awake on missions. It’s more for his sanity, the calm of the night allows him to organize his thoughts while resting his body. And Nahida would nag him to no end if she found out he was, once again, not sleeping in order to finish his work for her faster.

Trying not to focus on how tightly you’re holding him (or how close your leg is to where he wants you the most) holding him hostage against you, he tries distracting himself, hoping his erection dies down with his will to fight your grip.

Being the first one to wake up, quickly taking conscience of your current position, you panic slightly. You’ve never been this close to him, not that he would let you, he had such an aversion for touch, always keeping his distance.

But right now, his visage is relaxed, his usual scowl nowhere in sight, he looks beautiful.

Slowly moving your arm you reach out for his hair, slowly tucking some loose strands behind his ear, just to get a better look at his face. His eyes are closed, with that red eyeliner of his perfectly contouring his eye shape. Your eyes fall lower, his lips, rosy pink and so inviting. Sitting up and removing yourself completely from him, pulling the blanket off yourself, you turn once again.

But you’re not granted the chance to admire him more, his eyes slowly flutter awake, locking on you.

“Morning,” you murmur, voice still a bit raspy.

He doesn’t spare you a single glance, as he sits up, putting his outer layers and hat on and exiting the tent.

Oh wow, his bad attitude starts in the morning? Deciding to pay him no mind, you quickly collect your belongings and put the tent away.

“Do I not deserve a “good morning?” he hears you say sarcastically.

But he’s not listening. His mind is busy replaying the events from last night, and now, your gentle hand as you moved his hair out of his face. He’s thankful he can stand impossibly still, but he wishes he could have seen your face in that moment. What was your expression? Were you looking at him with adoration or simple curiosity toward his mechanical body? So many questions in his mind, he doesn’t even hear your steps as you stand next to him.

“Are you ignoring me?” - he huffs, interrupting you “Do you ever stop talking? It’s early morning and I don’t feel like entertaining your useless chatter.”

Just what’s the deal with him now? He starts walking away from you quickly. It takes a minute to catch up, knowing he’s going to be extra bothersome today.

This time, you are walking on a clear path, one that is actually shown on the map (unlike his shortcut), but that does not mean it’s any safer. On the contrary, the road is full of fungi, which you had to take care of- courtesy of Kunikuzushi, who apparently prefers watching you struggle instead of helping.

Today was going to be a long day.

Hearing the cool drizzling of a nearby river, you both decide to stop for a quick break.

Dropping your bag under a tree you make your way to the riverside, cooling your hands in the water, then splashing some on your face, a relieving break from the heat.

As the splashing stops, you can see the reflection of Kunikuzushi staring back at you.

Quietly whispering “hi” to try and break the tension gets you no answer from him. So you sit in silence for a few minutes before you rise on your feet, facing him, your faces a bit too close for comfort. He was standing awfully close to you, almost banging your head on the edge of his hat, he still doesn’t say a word.

“what’s deal with you today?” your tone sounding a bit irritated. You could put up with the banter, that was the norm between you two, silence just sounds wrong.

He turns on his feet, trying to put distance between you, but you quickly grab his hand stopping him from leaving. Now he’s angry, “let me go.” he spat, trying to remove himself from your grip.

“Why are you ignoring me?”

“I said let me go!” He uses his other hand to try and free himself, sometimes you forget he’s not human, but his strong grip instantly reminds you. You’re sure that’s gonna leave a mark.

He yanks your arm with an unexpected amount of strength and you lose your balance, toppling forward into his chest, taking the both of you for a fall on the ground.

Flinching as you land on top of him, you look up at him and now he looks pissed. His hands hitch towards you, but you’re faster, pinning them at his sides.

“Get. Off. Me.” he growls.

“Just answer me first,” huffing and still holding his arms down. You’re sitting in between his legs, looking at him from above, his hair disheveled and his cheeks such a cute shade of red. He could free himself from your grip at any moment, but for some reason, he’s choosing to put up a false scenario of struggling to move your arms. He stills when he notices how intensely your eyes are boring through him, he feels himself shrinking under you.

“where did all the bark in you go? giving up already?” you taunt. you just had to ruin the moment. Slowly closing the gap between your bodies, you stare at him more intently, and he swears he saw your eyes flickering between his and his lips. You remove one hand from his arm and repeat the same motion as this morning, moving his hair out of his eyes and sliding them behind his ears.

He’s so beautiful even when he’s angry, you conclude.

But by his reaction, you guess you said that out loud too. He uses his, now free, arm to grab you by the collar of your shirt and drag you closer to his face, your chests now pressed together. He slams your faces together in an attempt to kiss you, it’s messy and it’s inexperienced, teeth clanking together and all. It’s cute.

Pulling away almost instantly you glare at him, “Is this why you’ve been so pissy all morning? You just wanted a kiss?” shifting from the current position to straddling his hips.

“No, that’s not it.” you say as you feel something poking your thigh, his face a darker shade of red, “you want more.”

He moves his hips, trying to get away from the pressure but accidentally ends up brushing his hard-on further on your thigh. “That’s not true.” he winces at his own tone, it sounded winded and not as angry as he wanted.

“Liar.” your hand slides down the side of his face, now gripping his chin forcing him to keep eye contact. “At least your body is honest.” you taunt with newfound confidence. “But if that’s what you reaaally want-” “No!” he interrupts you, stopping your movements before you could even begin lifting yourself off him. “No? so you do want me.”

He looks away again, too ashamed to keep eye contact with you. “Who would’ve known, this bratty personality of yours was just you being a whore all this time.” “N-no, I’m not…!” whatever fight he had left in him disappeared as you slowly grind your hips on his erection.

You lean forward “Just say it. Say it and I’ll give you what you want.”

“Need I remind you… y-you’re the one grinding on me like a whore?” he tries to regain some decency.

“How cute. ” you cut in before he can get another word in and reconnect your lips together, gentler this time. He instantly melts into it, his hand sneaking in your hair to push your faces together even further. He whimpers in the kiss when he feels you pressing harder on his dick. Oh, he was so cute to play with, you couldn’t wait to ruin him.

Moving your hand from his face, you drag your nails on his chest, making him gasp, taking advantage of that to shove your tongue in his mouth. He licks the inside of your mouth with a tinge of desperation, his fingers pushing your head harder. Biting his lips, you break away from the kiss, panting, and a trail of saliva connecting your mouths.

“Swallow.” you say, holding his mouth open as a glob of saliva rolls off your tongue and into his.

He winces slightly but does as you say. “Good boy,” and he prays you don’t feel him twitching in his pants at the nickname. But you do, and meet his gaze with a knowing smirk.

He feels your weight pulling off from him, a look of panic in his eyes thinking you were going to leave him there, but suddenly he feels himself getting dragged up and onto your lap.

Now above you, he feels a bit of control, but that’s short-lived, the moment he feels your lips on his neck he turns into putty in your hands. Biting and licking, leaving marks that he can’t cover. Your hands slide slower, on his sides and pulling on his bow until it comes undone. You give one harsh bite and he moans, his face now nuzzled between your neck and shoulder, trying to mask his noises. Cute.

With the bow now off, you have more access to his sides, dragging your hands on his skin-tight body suit. Your touch sends shivers down his sides, the body suit doing little to nothing to numb your touch, it’s like he’s not wearing anything.

Interrupting the assault on his neck, you look in between your bodies, at his shorts. There’s a little wet spot forming at the tip, and you can see it twitching. “Can I?” you ask, pulling him from his hair to make him look at you in the eyes. He nods quickly and fails to cover the moan that escapes him as you cup his bulge. He is uncharacteristically warm all over, but especially down there.

Tugging at the sides of his shorts, he gets the memo and lifts himself up, just enough for you to slide them mid-tight. As you pull his body suit to the side, freeing his erection, he is suddenly very aware of the fact that you are, in fact, still outside, just a few meters away from the main path.

But that thought quickly gets pushed to the back of his mind as he feels your hands on him. He shivers, your gentle fingers go over his slit, gathering pre cum and sliding it all over his shaft.

His arms drape around your neck as he hides his face on you again, slowly and not so subtly taking in your smell. He is so sensitive , feeling every movement of your soft hand as you slowly jerk him off.

“F-fuck, move faster,” he speaks, muffled and hushed near your ear.

“What’s the magic word?” you continue, agonizingly slow.

Really? You’re pulling this on him now?

“...Please?” he says, even more hushed now.

Satisfied for now, you speed up your movements, alternating between sliding your tight fist over his shaft to rubbing his tip. You hear him moaning and whimpering, all muffled by your shoulder. That simply won’t do.

Your hand comes off him, pushing his back to the ground. He looks at you confused, already missing your touch on him. But then you pull his shorts completely off, spreading his legs enough for you to shimmer in between them. Pushing himself up, he looks down at you. You grab his hands and slowly move them to your head.

Grabbing his legs and dragging him closer to you, you leave a trail of kisses along his tight, stopping to leave a few bites and sucking to leave a mark before moving on to the other one. Everywhere your mouth goes it's followed by a series of dark bruises and bite marks.

He shudders as you place one kiss on his tip, before licking the precum that’s leaking out. The grip on your head tightens as your tongue darts out giving small kitten licks.

Fed up by the teasing, he pushes you forward, managing to sink in half his length before you gag. You try to push back, but his grip holds you in place. You stare at him, angry eyes meeting his. Looking down at you, he smirks before pushing your head further, your nose touching his pelvis, effectively burying himself to the hilt.

His chest heaving heavily, your warm mouth engulfs him fully, and before he’s prepared he feels your mouth bobbing up and down his length, tongue swirling and licking a prominent vein on his cock.

“F-fuck, that’s good…” he moans, unable to muffle it as both his hands are busy on your head.

His stomach churls, watching as you work hard to get him off. He jolts when he feels you pinch the inside of his thigh, twitching in your mouth as he feels his climax approaching.

“ ‘m close…” he musters out in between moans, his grip tightening on your hair. His hips move forward, slowly at first, but he speeds up, now actively fucking your throat.

He doesn’t even notice you stopped moving your head, letting him use your mouth however he pleases.

“I’m gonna-... hah! F-fuck I’m gonna cum”, his moans are now just a series of hushed “ah’s” making your heart flutter. He’s so cute when he’s desperate.

You have half a mind to edge him and make him fight for his release, but you want to see him cum. You want to see how his face crunches in pleasure. You want to be the reason he finds himself breathless.

He thrusts in you one last time before releasing, thighs clenching around your head. Warm spurts of cum shoot down your throat as you struggle to swallow it all. He holds your head in place, no intent of letting go until he feels his body go limp.

He falls with his back laying on the ground with a soft thud. Taking your mouth off his softening cock you climb on top of his body, Kissing him, he grimaces at the bitter taste of his own release. Your hands still roaming his body, one pinching his nipples through the body suit while the other reaches down in between his legs.

“ hah… mh! wait, I just finished-” he whimpers while closing his legs on your hand.

“Who said I was done with you? I haven’t gotten my fill yet.” you free your hand, getting up and rucking your pants down, and you take off your underwear too.

Kunikuzushi’s eyes immediately fall down, staring at your leaking cunt. He wants it in his mouth. He wants to be inside you, he feels his cock twitch as it starts to harden once again.

You straddle his hips, this time, sitting on his dick, slowly grinding your core on it. His hands grab your waist, dragging you closer to himself, his face looks so soft, his lips so biteable. You kiss him once again, caressing one side of his face. His fingers dig into your hips with need, you can feel him now fully hard against your thigh.

He lets out a small gasp as you grab him in your palm, aligning him with your hole.

“w-wait…” he gets cut off as you slowly sink on him. His head falls back as he lets out a guttural moan, you feel heavenly. Your insides are warm and your walls flutter around him, sending shivers down his spine.

His face is crunched up, not in pain… he just looks like he’s concentrating really hard, with fingers still gripping your sides, he looks at you with lidded eyes.

Locking eyes with him, your hips move forward. It’s the smallest movement, but it sends his head spinning in pleasure, biting his lips and trying to hold back his moans. It’s when you start bouncing on him with a rhythm that he totally loses control. Moaning with no shame, his hands now have a messy grip on whatever they can hold of you.

He looks like a mess, hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, his eyes are unfocused and there’s a bit of drool on the side of his mouth. Your hand slowly moves to his neck, you’re aware he doesn’t need to breathe, but squeezing his throat gets a reaction out of him anyway.

“That’s right… only I can make you feel like this,” he moans, interrupting you. “Only I can make you feel this good. Got that?”, he nods, his eyes closed shut.

Leaning down to leave more marks on his neck, you hear him whimpering right in your ears. It only spurs you on, riding him faster while he squirms and writes under you.

He doesn’t speak this time, but you can tell he’s already close. You are too, his cute little noises only fueling the fire in the pit of your stomach.

Biting on his neck, he gasps, back arching off the ground while he holds you tighter than ever. You look at how his expression changes, eyes closed with tears prickling at the sides, and then you feel him twitch and a warm sensation flood your insides. It takes him a moment, his arms slide down your sides while he catches his breath. But the moment is short-lived, you start riding him again, his eyes shoot open as he grabs you trying to stop you.

He opens his mouth to speak, but you stop him, shoving two fingers in it. “Suck.” It’s an order, he swirls his tongue around them while sucking. He’s still so sensitive, having just finished. “mhhfm! I- ah- I can’t-” he tries speaking, but you shush him shoving your fingers in deeper making him gag.

Now tears are actively streaming down his face. God, he looks so ruined. Marks all over his neck and thighs, his body suit can partially cover some of them but the rest will be visible. He will be walking around Sumeru and everyone will know that he is yours. Only you can see him like this, only you can fuck him till he cries.

You slam harder on his cock, feeling his come from his previous orgasm leak down his shaft and onto his thighs. The noises coming from the both of you are obscene. Anyone passing by could hear you, the thought makes you clench on him. Feeling your orgasm approaching, you take your fingers out of his mouth and trap him in a kiss.

Your walls tighten around him, and moaning in his mouth you reach your climax.

Still breathing heavily, you grab his face turning it towards you, tears are still sliding down his face. You place a kiss on the corner of his eye, licking one tear away.

“You… made me swallow your spit,” he says between pants, after a minute of silence. His mind is no longer foggy, he cringes at how high his voice got when he was moaning just a few minutes ago.

“And you enjoyed it,” you say while pushing yourself up, you let his limp cock slip out of you. Leaving his lap to reach for your clothes, you can feel him boring holes in your back.

Does he want to say something…? You offer him a hand to pull him up, which he silently grabs. Pulling his shorts up and helping him redress, he looks at you with rosy cheeks and a slight pout. There are so many thoughts swirling in his head. What was it you said about him being yours…? Did you mean it? It irritated him how you seemed to move on so quickly after fucking his literal brains out.

“You know,” you begin talking, “you are much more submissive than I thought-”

“Fuck off! It’s all your fault. You make me feel all weird all the time.” he snaps back.

“Oh? Don’t tell me I'm giving you butterflies-” he slaps his hand on your mouth, “shut it.”

“and quit licking my hand it’s not gonna make me let go.”

He hears you mumble something and removes his hand. “Okay, okay. I’m not gonna make fun of you. But just so you know, I don’t do one night stands, you’re stuck with me now” You grab his face and drag it closer to you, and when he doesn’t fight back you bring your lips together once again. This one is soft, no longer spurred on by lust and need. When you break the kiss he looks at you with something akin to adoration in his eyes.

“you’re so cute. cute. cute. cute.” you repeat while peppering his whole face with kisses. He groans but lets you do as you please, a defeated look in his eyes as he hears you giggle while kissing him one final time on the lips.

While you keep nuzzling his neck, he looks up at the sky taking notice of how the sun has begun setting, sighing. He guesses Nahida will just have to wait more for her mission to get completed. But at least he has you now to keep him company.

Nahida would be happy to know he’s finally making connections with humans.

[otomiyaa]

Sexy Back

Deadpool x Colossus

[Fic Reupload] - For @theanonemu, myself and everyone around who still loves this lovely duo! With thanks to the lovely for @wertzunge for retrieving it for me ^^ Fic was originally written in 2018.

Summary: Wade has a mission, personal and very important: To tickle Colossus, if he’s even ticklish anywhere. Ha, you should try that sometime, without dying. (Also on AO3)

Word Count: 1.7K

“Ohhh man.” Wade came walking out of Colossus’ room, waving his Deadpool mask around that had gotten all damp with his own.. well yeah. You know, drool, sweat and such. Grossss. Getting tickled to real death just had its consequences, and uhh right, he kinda knew this would happen.

Negasonic just came out of the other room, and she raised one eyebrow, looking totally unimpressed at probably how messy he looked right now.

“Again?” she asked. Wade shrugged and continued to wave his mask in front of him for some fresh air. 

“What do you mean again? That is not nice,” he sighed as he strode towards the bathroom.

“Oh I don’t know. This morning. Yesterday maybe four, or five times. Six? And now again? Just give up Wade. I’m getting allergic to that laughter of yours, if I could even call it that.” Wade simply turned to face Ms. roasting warhead and smiled.

“That makes two of us. But nah, if you think that I’m gonna give up, you don’t know Deadpool dear. That guy,” he pointed at at Colossus’ room.

“…Has to have a weak spot and I will find it. And the moment I do, I will hear and see, and induuulge myself in Colossus’ beautiful laughter and you’ll just wish you could too. Pool out.” 

He rolled into the shower after climbing out of his partially drenched suit and sang a beautiful Colossus sucks ballad while purifying himself of any leftover sweat, and tingly sensations. 

He had truly believed today would succeed. He was suited up and ready to go. Colossus was on his bed, reading some boring book. Wade had done some real serious research on sensitivity of metal bodies (well yeah, the results were less serious but still), and he had drawn the entire plan out, from sneaking into the room to catching that metal foot under the blankets from his safe position at the end of the bed to tickle his sole. 

He had tried that before but failed, but now he succeeded, and it still failed since Colossus wasn’t tickled by this. Just provoked, and it resulted in the usual: Wade getting a payback that was unfair as hell.

Not today. I mean, well yeah today already happened but… not tonight. Because in that lovely shower, Wade got an idea. A very brilliant idea that made all those other failed attempts go to waste. Why didn’t he think of it sooner? Not in the morning to wake him up. Not during his desk work. Not during his nap-time, cleaning time (hell yes it was a very nice try though Wade had to give himself that) and also not during his relaxing reading-time.

Wade had to go for the middle of the night because why? #1. Same vulnerability as in the morning because he would be pulled out of his sleep (well yeah Wade’s try in the morning went just very very wrong for other reasons, let’s not mention those), but most definitely #2: because the others would be asleep.

Now why was that an important factor? Because Colossus had to be the sweetest most considerate metal man in the world, who would not wake everyone from their precious sleep (”Sleep, sleep is good. You should sleep,” is what he would always tell everyone), so Wade would at least be safe from one of those ridiculously nearly murderous revenges (coming from that same sweetest metal man of the planet, world? universe? Never mind). 

So yeah. Wade was clean again. Later that day, he ignored Negasonic’s taunts about his laughter and ticklishness, smiled at cute Yukio for calling him cute, and even bluffed at Colossus that he was not going to give another try. 

Colossus was always very casual about it all and usually didn’t say anything about it, his answer this time being nothing more than:

“Good.” Wade smiled. It was a long wait until nightfall. Until late late nightfall, it had to be the perfect time. No suit this time. Just him, his trash T-shirt so he was ready to go to bed after this satisfying success, and his boxer shorts. Heh, well to be honest Colossus had seen him in less than that, oops, so nothing to worry about. 

Wade, for the umpteenth time, tiptoed into Colossus’ room at the perfect time and carefully closed the door. Colossus was in bed, and his heavy breaths were heard throughout the entire room. Sleeping. Sleeping sleeping like a -

Wade blinked as he started into Colossus’ wide open eyes the moment he got to his bed-side. Sleeping like a faker.

“Fooled you.” Wade gasped when Colossus grabbed him and pulled him in bed. He squirmed as he was rolled under him, but soon stopped struggling when he realized Colossus had other intentions. Their lips met, and Wade relaxed under him.

There was nothing like kissing Colossus’ out-of-this-world lips. Like shit they were a pair of lips that belonged to a metal man. No one knew like Wade what that was like. What it was like to suckle on them, teasingly brush his tongue in between them, taste themー

Well, technically everyone he knew also knew since Wade told everyone in detail, but still, it was his and his experience alone.

“So, you came to…?” Colossus asked when he switched to placing gentle kisses down Wade’s jawline. He then pulled back and looked fondly at him. The moon outside took care of enough light in this room to see the twinkle in his eyes and his slightly parted sexy lips. 

Wade shook his head, deciding not to ask Colossus why he was awake at this time because he’d get the same question back in doubles.

“…Sleep with you. Duh.” Believable. Colossus simply shrugged and awarded him with his sexy lips again. Sexy lips yeaaah. Wade caressed the back of his head, his sexy heaaad. He fluttered his fingers down the back of his neck. A very sexy and unticklish neck. He scribbled his fingers down Colossus’ back. 

The sexy part between his shoulder blades, down his spine, towards his sexy lower back and..

“Ufh.” He felt Colossus’ breath against his lips. It was a soft sigh that came out of him. A slight hum was mixed with it. Wade didn’t dare to hope for it, not at this stage, but he had to try. 

His fingers that were ready to cup two cheeks of a very sexy ass, went back and remained at Colossus’ lower back. He trailed his fingers along the smooth metal skin there and an instant smile appeared on his face when he felt Colossus jump slightly.

“Hmmh.. Wade..” he muttered, pulling away from the kiss. Wade wasn’t sure if the moon provided them of enough light, but he probably had the most wicked grin plastered on his face and there was no way around that.

“Found. It.” He scribbled his fingers at some of the sweet spots he guessed at and watched how Colossus’ facade was quick crumble. The corners of his lips twitched and a low grumbly “Huhuhu” was the first sort of laughter to come out of him.

“What’s the matter, metalboy? T-i-c-k-l-i-s-h?” Wade whispered, and his fingers did their best at tickling him some more. 

“W-Wade no. Don’t..” It was a soft whisper, but there was defnitely more sound to what followed.

“H-haha, no. Do not make me…” Colossus’ hands already moved from where they cupped Wade's cheeks and he was almost ready to tickle him back when Wade raised and kissed him as a counter attack. He then smirked at him and said:

“Don’t think so. You know I’ll be loud, and the others will not appreciate it. So just be a big boy now and let me have my fun for once, for hell’s sake.” He kissed him again and went back to tickling that sexy back. 

Colossus immediately broke their kiss and Wade was laughing in delight when he chose to bury his face in his neck, laughing sweetly and even squirming slightly. Not too much squirming, no fighting back, just being the big boy Wade told him to be. 

“I told you I’d find it~ Your tickle spot, oh and maybe here too?” Wade dragged his finger up his spine and Colossus arched his back suddenly.

“AH- Not the-hehere.. Wade..” His low voice blurting out just those soft chuckles, soft laughs: Brilliant. Nothing like the noise and chaos Wade would’ve produced, but definitely worth everything.

Wade enjoyed the delight of tickling Colossus for as long as he could. And then Colossus stopped being a big boy, or well, he was still a big boy, but not a good boy.

“Done now?” he said, sounding a liiittle bit out of breath and Wade was proud of that. He began to sputter:

“Ready? O-oh well you mean, I think, no. I could go on for like -” He froze when Colossus suddenly covered his mouth with his hand, shutting him up.

“Because now it’s my turn.” Well about one thing Wade was right, that Colossus would not willingly wake up the entire house just to get his revenge. He did underestimate his methods to get that revenge anyway, even if that would mean a nearly soundless and thus even more exhausting and deadly one.

“MPHPH! COHMphphh!” It took the X-man two legs to pin down Wade’s entire body, one hand to shut him up and one hand to kill him with tickles. His hips, his stomach, sides and ribs under his shirt, even his ampit, and nothing more than a soft stray giggle here and a squeak there would slip out of this room. 

At one point they were kissing again, and Wade was still being tickled with two fucking hands. Colossus might as well kill him immediately because these methods were not okay. After what felt like ages, the heavy weight finally moved off him, and Colossus tiredly rolled onto his side to sleep. 

“Now I’m tired. Go to sleep.” Haha, so cute. Wade sleepily blinked his eyes and gazed at Colossus’ sexy back that was turned towards him. He reached out…

“Don’t… you dare.” Oh. Wade pulled his hand back and smiled. 

“Tomorrow then,” he whispered, and he proceeded to roll against him so he could form the big spoon. As best as he could. What a night. 

They should make this a routine, and Wade was going to make sure of that, no matter the tiny tiny ticklish price his drained body would have to pay. Anything, to play with that sexy, ticklish back again~ Oh yeaaaah.

[starrzhao]

what are the odds? | k.tr

synopsis you've tried numerous attempts in confessing to taerae but somehow it always ends up turning into unfortunate accidents…misleading taerae into thinking you hate him at some poor attempts

pairing taerae x gn!reader

genre romance, fluff, humor, angst if you squint

word count 9.6k

content/tags sfw, miscommunication/misunderstanding trope, university!au setting, part-time barista!taerae

warnings I am not funny but I tried, swearing, a lotta things are unrealistic (anyways it’s fiction lol) , the y/n here is kind of a dumbass sorry (to clarify, you are not dumb at all! I’m just referring to the mc here 😭😞), low-key gave up halfway so things may be messy, will try to edit and proofread later when I have the time

featuring former boys planet trainees, kum junhyeon , park hanbin , cha woongki and seowon

taglist @leagreenly @kpoprhia @dimplewonie @shanb1n @wtfhyuck @mikaymee (kindly send an ask/dm if you’d like to be added or removed)

HOW IT ALL STARTED

One of your friends, sung hanbin had decided to host an open-mic event at his cafe for the first time. At first, you didn’t want to go because of the number of assignments you had all piled up as your horridly long to-do list was desperate for your attention. but your friend was also desperate too, begging you to come as he was afraid only a few people would bother to show up.

So being the good friend you are (and terrible procrastinator looking for an excuse to not do work), you decided to go. Your other friends, zhanghao, ricky and junhyeon also tagged along to support as well.

To your surprise, the cafe was actually really full, more and more people rolled in every hour and although you loved to socialize, your battery was draining from seeing the number of people at a high.

There were a lot of talented people who took the stage. With some pouring out their emotions with their personal spoken-word poetry, some inducing laughter with stand-up comedy and some taking the stage to sing their heart out with a touching ballad or a fun pop song.

It was a particularly entertaining night but with the number of people increasing in the cafe, it was draining and dreadful to be with a swarm of people. It wasn’t that you didn’t like to socialize, it was just suffocating to be in a large crowded cafe.

It was 1 am but the open-mic was still lively and has yet to reach its end with a quite big number of people still waiting in line to take the stage.

“I want to go home.” You yawn before comfortably resting your head on the table as you hear another poetry number.

“I gotta go I have a 7 am class tomorrow, the professor will rip my head off if I’m late again. I already told hanbin so he won’t kill me. Bye guys.” Ricky was the first one to leave from your group, bidding you guys a farewell.

Hanbin begged you guys to stay throughout the whole open mic to ensure there was going to be an audience for every performer. As the hours passed, less and less people were at the cafe.

“Thank you to everyone who came today especially to the ones who decided to stay until the end of our event. Now we know there’s still some of you who wish to perform their piece tonight but I’m afraid we have to end it after one last performance. Do not fret, there will be another open-mic event in the future! I hope to see you all stop by again. “ Hanbin relays his closing remarks for the event.

“And now, to finally wrap our event, let’s give the stage to the last but definitely not the least, kim taerae! Let’s all give it up for him.” Claps and cheers echoed through the room for the last performer. A young man walked into the stage with a guitar in his hand, he was dressed in a white denim jacket with a pair of blue jeans and his hair was styled in a little messy perm. He enters the stage and greets the crowd with a sweet smile.

“Hello everyone! I am kim taerae and to end today’s open-mic on a good note, I will be singing man in love by infinite. Hope you enjoy.” You were a little surprised at his low voice. You get up from your position and sit uptight, eager to watch the performance of the new man you found attractive. From his looks and to his speaking voice, he already seemed promising .

The moment he started singing, you melted over his vocals. His voice was quite deep yet also so sweet and soft. His voice was so captivating and everyone in the audience was in awe.

The performance was so satisfying and heartwarming to watch. He was also looking into the eyes of the members of the audience as if he was in a concert. At one point, your eyes meet and you felt your heart skip a beat as he flashed a charming bright smile as his eyes met yours for a moment.

At that moment, you felt your world stop for a moment like you have just met eye-to-eye with the love of your life. All throughout the performance, you felt as if you two were the only one there. As if taerae was pouring all those words out to you.

Soon, the song had finally come to an end and the crowd loudly claps and cheers, everyone was swooned by his heartfelt performance.

“Thank you everyone, hope you all enjoyed the night and get home safe. Take care!” He bids his farewell and everyone immediately stands up from their seats, ready to leave the event.

The next day arrived and here you were on your first day in a new class. You were sleep deprived and was trying your hardest not to fall asleep as soon as you sat down.

Everyone else chatted about whatever went on in their lives. A lot of the others already knew each other too. You were sitting in the back with no one next to you, feeling slightly out of place.

“Hey may I sit here?” A familiar low voice spoke. You get up and look at your left. Loe and behold, It was that sweet singer from yesterday.

“Yes of course.” You reply and flash a small smile.

“You’re kim taerae?”

“Oh yeah! How do you know me?

“I recognize you, you were at the open-mic last night at the cafe last night, right?”

“Ah yes that’s me!” He lightly chuckles in response.

“You were incredible last night, you were the perfect person to end the show. Your singing was amazing! It was so sweet and satisfying to hear. And then when y-I’m so sorry I think I’m rambling now.” His ears turned red from your compliment, keeping a shy smile on over the compliments you gave. You worried that you were doing too much.

“No no it’s fine! And thank you so much, I appreciate it, really.”

“ sorry I forgot to introduce myself but I’m y/n by the way. nice to meet you taerae.” You let your hand out to which he gladly shakes.

“And I’m well, as you already know haha, taerae but it’s very nice to meet you y/n. looking forward to getting to know you.” That sweet smile painted on his face as he seats himself next to you.

_________________________________

you have liked, actually no scratch that, you have been in love with taerae since the first day you met him..

After becoming seatmates on the first day and getting along, you were bound to see each other every week, and after talking to him during every class, sharing about anything and everything in your lives instead of actually paying attention to your lectures, your feelings had gotten stronger as you had gotten to know him more over the course of a few months

He was a very smart, humble and sweet person. A million words weren’t even enough to describe his personality. To top it all off, he was incredibly handsome too. He had that sweet signature smile that always brightened your day. It was hard not to fall for someone like him.

He also became a part-time employee at hanbin’s cafe, although you only every visited once a week to see hanbin, you started going everyday to see taerae.

_________________________________

“hey y/n we know that you’re down bad for mr. cutie pie over there but please pay attention to your friends.” junhyeon snaps at you from your trance after catching you once, again getting lost in your own world staring at taerae for the millionth time today.

currently, you and your friends were hanging at the cafe owned by hanbin located near your uni.

“Yeah, huh yes.” junhyeon and gunwook laugh at your reaction.

Speaking of the devil(or angel, you would think), taerae suddenly approaches your table.

“hey guys I’m clocking out now, just tell hanbin if you need anything. and y/n see you on monday!” he sends you his signature smile as he waves at your friends a farewell as he leaves the cafe.

“see you!” you were smiling so big at him, unaware of how you were smiling so big like a fool. junhyeon and gunwook giggle and whisper amongst themselves, teasing your absolutely lovesick state.

“yeah and they say they have a little crush, and they’ve been trying to hide it.” Junhyeon teases.

“Oh shut up.” You smack his arm and turn away, trying to hide your so painfully obvious blushing state.

“we are so sick of you shooting heart eyes at him for the longest time, oh god when do you plan on finally asking him out?” gunwook says.

“now that you mention it I think I’m planning on confessing to taerae soon.”

your friends dramatically gasp altogether. they certainly didn’t expect you to make a move a year after meeting him.

“You really are?”

“Yeah I was actually thinking of telling him after the open-mic tomorrow.”

“Ooooh how?” Sung hanbin chips in as he takes a seat at your table and casually sneaks a bite from zhanghao’s cheesecake sitting on the table.

“hey what the hell that’s mine, don’t think you’re so slick.” zhanghao snatches the fork from hanbin’s hand and hanbin chuckles at zhanghao’s annoyed state.

“hanbin what are you doing here aren’t you supposed to be working?” you turn to look at him and he comfortably sinks his back into the couch.

“you guys are the only ones here anyways and I’m closing the cafe in a bit. i also heard the words taerae and confess so of course I had to join in.”

“anyways moving back to the topic, how are you going to tell him” hanbin mentions once again.

“I was just planning on just simply saying it. All straight forward like hey.. I like you.”

Your friends squeal in excitement, you bury your face in your hands, embarrassed.

“I have a hunch he likes you too.” your ears turn red over what hanbin said, thinking the possibility of taerae reciprocating his feelings made you feel a little happy inside.

“Wishing you luck ” Hanbin pats your shoulder..

“Yeah like what are the odds that things could go wrong?”

RIGHT, WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

_________________________________

ATTEMPT 1 : THE OPEN MIC

“thank you for attending our open mic event this month ! I truly appreciate all your support and I’m always amazed by the talented performers that take on the stage. Hope you all get home safe and sound, thank you once again and I hope to see you again in our monthly open mic event once again next month.”

“Good luck.” Hanbin whispers in your year, sending you a fighting gesture as you proceed to look for taerae.

You look around and you spot him behind the cashier, currently counting a bunch of coins in his hand.

“Hey!” You catch the boy’s attention as he looks up and immediately flashes a smile as you near him.

“Hey what’s up? Did you enjoy tonight’s open-mic?”

“Yeah I did! And like always, you did absolutely amazing.” Taerae’s face flushing red after your compliment, you always found it so adorable when he’d get so shy.

“Uh taerae, I just wanted to tell you something.”

“Go ahead. I’m listening.” He places his arm on the counter, resting his chin on his palm, ready to listen to you.

“I don’t know where to begin..so the thing is.”

You take a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself for the moment.

“I’ve been keeping on eye on a certain someone for awhile now. Well whatever I shouldn’t be beating around the bush. I like-“

“Taerae! Let’s go!” A blue haired boy comes and wraps his arm around taerae’s neck, ruffling through his hair. You presumed it was the blue-haired roommate taerae always referred to in his stories about his dorm life.

“Later hanbin! Y/n’s trying to tell me something, go on..”

“Oh I’m so sorry I was interrupting something..”

“I like hearing the stories about your roommate, I wanted to meet him.” It just slipped. Forcing yourself to lie was defenitely not something you wanted to do but you felt too awkward to continue confessing.

“That’s me! Hello I am park hanbin, taerae’s amazing roommate that you hear about in his stories.” Hanbin winks at you, and puts his hand out. You shake his hand, pretending like you eagerly wanted to get to know him.

“Oh hey! That’s cool so I always heard really interesting stories about you so I’ve been dying to meet you.” You lied.

“I hear about you too, you seem cool. Hey wanna exchange numbers?”

“Yeah that’d be cool.” You and hanbin pull out your phones and quickly exchange numbers as taerae stands awkwardly behind the counter, witnessing your interaction.

“So uh i guess we can take our leave now? Thanks for coming today y/n and see you tomorrow during class!” Taerae pats hanbin’s shoulders, lowkey pushing him to go.

“Oh of course. See you taerae!” You smile and wave as they slowly take their leave.

“Nice to meet you y/n see you around too!” Hanbin cheekily throws a heart shooting gesture at you.

That was not definitely what you wanted to do.

_________________________________

PERHAPS A LETTER WILL DO?

“I don’t know if I can directly say it to him again.” You contemplated as you drew along your sketchbook. You were currently in ricky and zhanghao’s dorm, making a sketch of taerae as the two seriously focus on finishing their plates for their art classes due the next day, them being typical art students, while ranting about your confession process for the second time.

“Then perhaps you can try saying it to him by writing it in a letter instead?” Ricky suggests as he calmly moves the brush strokes against his canvas, multitasking listening to you while painting for his final’s project in his drawing and painting class.

“Writing him a letter-okay wait ricky I think that’s a great idea, I think i can do that.” you gasp as you turn to him, enlightened by the idea that doesn’t deal with direct confrontation.

“Eh but how are you doing it? Are you going to mail it? You know it’s a hassle and the courier rates are hell here or do you plan on just handing it to him then running away like an idiot. ” Zhanghao asks and you realize you didn’t fully grasp the idea yet. Writing down your feelings through a letter was definitely easier but how were you going to execute it?

“Hyung don’t be too pessimistic, it’s not so bad of an idea.” Ricky defends.

“Okay well..aha! I’ll just give it to him in the cafe after his shift, or I’ll just ask hanbin to slip it in his bag since I’m pretty sure it’d be impossible to slip it in during class.”

“Hmm..actually yeah that’s possible..not bad of an idea.”

“I’m a genius! oh hey guys look at my drawing, what do you think?” You flaunt your poorly drawn portrait of your crush and ricky lets out a huge laugh while zhanghao sends you a mortified look.

“is that taerae?” zhanghao points to your drawing, which was quite literally obvious as you wrote his name in red at the side.

“Yeah..i tried to draw him from memory.” You scratch the back of your head, embarrassed.

“Well as a fine arts student, I can definitely say it’s a drawing. Very abstract!” You send ricky a glare and smack his arm as he lets out a laugh.

“you should be thankful I didn’t pursue arts, picasso’s definitely shitting his pants right now.” You jokingly remarked.

“But I truly can’t draw at all what the hell.”

“It’s good that you know.” Ricky jokingly insults and you shoot him a glare.

You rip that paper from the sketchbook, folding it neatly and putting it to the side.

You open a new page, taking a deep breath before writing away your feelings on the paper. But everytime you wrote, your inner perfectionist fought you, making you restart the letter multiple times.

There were multiple pieces of papers scattered around ricky’s table and you had been stressing over it for over an hour and a half before finally finding the perfect words to say.

eventually you got all worn out from using all your brain power for the past hour as you fell asleep on ricky’s desk.

“psst, y/n you need to go, it’s getting late. “ at around 8pm, zhanghao wakes you up. You were a little groggy but you made sure to stand up and grab the letter as you leave. There were way too many paper in the desk and you had only remembered seeing the paper right next to you, but there were two, you bring the one on the right, assuming it was the letter.

_________________________________

you poured your heart out into the letter and made sure each and every word you said was heartfelt and true. you were about to pack the paper and you immediately hand it to hanbin upon arriving at the cafe in the morning. nervous yet also excited about sending taerae the letter.

and so, you wait for the next day to arrive.

_________________________________

“Hey taerae check your belongings before you leave! Need to make sure you don’t leave anything in the cafe, closing up in a bit.“ hanbin yells from the stock room as he secretly grins to himself. taerae rummages through his backpack, thoroughly checking through his things.

He finds a piece of paper in the front pocket and curiously, of course he opens it. Taerae immediately held his hand to his mouth, shocked over what he saw.

…

You anxiously waited for taerae to come to class as you fiddled with your fingers, afraid of what taerae’s reaction to the letter would be.

You spot taerae coming in and he waves at you from afar. You felt a sense of relief as you see taerae still openly greeting you and going your direction to take the seat next to yours like always.

“Hey. ” Taerae sits down and all of a sudden his face was painted with a hint of worry. You mentally start panicking over what he was going to say. Is he going to reject me? Tell me to get lost? Why does he lowkey looks scared? you thought

Taerae goes to grab something from his bag and you gulp nervously. He takes out a piece of paper and passes it to you.

“Oh taerae…”

“Open it.” He says and your hands shake a little as you open up the folded piece of paper, your heart was beating fast and taerae looked down on his desk, his hands clasped together, he just looked really anxious.

You open it and your eyes widen in shock.

“Oh shit.”

“Right? Isn’t it terrifying?” He points at the paper, hesitant to look at it. It was the poorly drawn portrait of him that you made when you were at hao and ricky’s dorm.

How the hell would you mess this up? And then it hit you, you grabbed the first paper you sw at the desk, assuming what you grabbed would be the letter.

“it’s scary to me because just look at the drawing, are they trying to say something about my appearance? And my name’s in red on the bottom. I thought it was a litte gift but when you think about it, would someone really gift you something like this.” You felt an arrow shoot through your heart. Not only did he just diss your drawing skills but he quickly assumed that this drawing was sent from a secret hater?

“what if they’re just shitty at drawing, you know but they were trying to do a nice little gesture?”

“But the red name, the poor handwriting, it just really feels like a hate message.” You felt your spirit leave your body.

“I don’t know I feel like I have to be on the lookout now, I’m scared someone’s coming after me.”

“YOU SENT HIM THE DRAWING?” ricky bursts out laughing at your failed mail delivery attempt.

“No oh my god my stomach hurts so much I can’t handle it..and the fact he thinks it’s a hate message is so fucking funny.” Ricky held onto stomach from laughing so hard and you glare at him. It was certainly not helping the embarrassment your were experiencing at the moment.

“Okay stop laughing dumbass it’s not funny.”

“Oh it is, it really is..” You smack his arm to make him get a grip and ricky lets out a loud ‘Ow’.

“Now what the fuck am I gonna do! I’m doomed!”

“You can always try again, you know? Maybe next time double check what you’re going to send to make sure you don’t send the love of your life your cursed looking drawings.”

“who send what what now?” Junhyeon quickly plops a seat next to ricky.

“y/n just sent taerae a drawing of him and he..thought it was….a threat..” ricky tries to hold his laugh in between his words.

“makes sense your skills are the worse of the worse i feel like i lose ten years of my life when I see you do any sort of artwork.”

“Oh shut up! Why are you all just constantly after my ass.”

“Anyways did you actually try to confess to him by using a drawing? “ junhyeon asked, visibly confused.

“No no no! I was supposed to leave him a letter. The thing is in the morning, I went to the cafe in the morning with hao to hand hanbin the letter so he could sneak it in his bag. I think i handed him the wrong one..because I was holding on to both of the folded papers and I forgot which was which..”

“Typical y/n moment..” ricky says and you raise your fork at him.

“Yeah okay okay.” ricky raises his hands in the air to defend himself from you potentially striking at him with your fork.

“Guys what do I do..”

“Why don’t you just tell him directly?” Junhyeon asks..

“Last time, I slipped up and lied that I wanted to mee his roommate, knowing damn well I don’t care about his roommate at all.””

“So what were you actually trying to send?“

“Okay I got another idea this time!” Ricky raises his hand you furrow one of your eyebrows at him.

_________________________________

ATTEMPT 2 : LEAVING THE LETTER AT THE LECTURE ROOM

“What time did hanbin say he was gonna come?”

“Hmm in like 30 minutes. He ends his shift at around 4.” Hao tells you. This time you were meant to leave the letter on his desk. Hanbin said he left his things in the lecture room and was going back after his shift to retrieve them.

you of course also made sure to double check to prevent the same mistake from happening again, it would be too much. You were positive that this time, nothing would go wrong and taerae would finally be able to read the words you’ve been meaning to relay.

“Shit shit shit! Guys I hear footsteps, I think it’s him!” Junhyeon yelled and panic immediately seeps into you.

“What? I thought his shift ends at 4, uh whatever guys hide!”

You and hao sneak under one of the tables at the back while junhyeon stood for awhile looking left and right, trying to figure out where to hide while he hears the footsteps getting louder and louder so he just hides behind the door, facing the corner, putting his black hoodie on.

Taerae walks into the room and hums a soft tune as he casually walks on his way onto his designated seat. He finds the paper on top and tilts his head to the side, surprised upon seeing a folded paper again. He scans the whole room with his sight before proceeding to slowly flip the fold.

The door abruptly closes as it emits an eerily creaking sound that echoed across the room. Taerae looks at its direction and notices a tall figure in a black hoodie at the corner of the room. His heart began to beat at an alarmingly fast rate.

“W-who are you?” He stutters out of fear as he slowly approaches the figure. The figure freezes into place, not moving an inch from its position.

“Were you here for me?” He slowly walks over and tries to gently approach the figure, he reaches out and tugs on the person’s arm and they suddenly turn around, instantly head butting taerae before he could take a look into their face, sending taerae into a fainting spell as he collapses onto the floor.

“Junhyeon what the fuck!” You and hao quickly rush over to the now, passed out, taerae laying on the floor.

“You shithead why did you headbutt him!”

“I didn’t want him to know it was me, okay! It was also a reflex i don’t know!”

“Yeah? Are you crazy!? He’s literally unconscious right now!!”

“But he’s not dead right?” Junhyeon slowly approaches his figure placing two fingers over his neck to check if he still had his pulse, he jumps but soon breathes a sigh of relief as he feels his pulse.

“Ah! Oh thank God.”

“Ugh whatever just bring to him the clinic.” Hao quickly goes to carry his left arm and you do the same on his other one.

_________________________________

You sit beside taerae’s peaceful sleeping state, patiently waiting for him to wake up, around 30 minutes has passed and he has yet to wake up.

Hao left early since he still had other senior duties to attend to while junhyeon left out of guilt, refusing to face taerae after giving him a concussion from a headbutt he didn’t mean to cause. He loved taerae too much to face him after what happened today.

You waited by taerae’s side even taking a nap as you waited for him to wake up.

You sat by the bed, with the letter in your hand. You opened it and reread each and every word once again as you look at taerae at the same time. You let out a huge sigh. You felt hesitant once again in confessing to taerae. Perhaps being by his side was enough, right?

But the feelings would always be there and you wouldn’t want to fight it. You sit and stare at his features for awhile, finding yourself enamored by his looks.

“I don’t think you’ll ever forgive me taerae..”

“for what?” you jolted from your seat the moment you hear that deep voice. taerae slowly tries to sit himself up and he squints at you as he rubs his eyes.

“oh my god you’re finally awake.”

“What happened I was at the classroom and I just blacked out, how did you find me..” You panic a little, trying to scramble through your brain to think of a random excuse, surely you weren’t going to tell him you were there to drop a letter where you basically profess your feelings.

“Uh i just stopped by the classroom, I thought I left something in the room.”

“oh okay..did you see anyone else there? like a person with a black hoodie? I think someone hit me in the head.”

Taerae tries to recall the situation, his memory still a little foggy over what happened. He couldn’t quite remember how the person looked as everything just happened so quickly.

“Wait..what if it was the same person who sent me that drawing from before? How would they even know that I was coming back? Because the moment I entered the room, I felt this eerie atmosphere, like someone was waiting for me?” You mentally curse at yourself for pushing through this plan, how the hell were you going to tell him the truth?

“I feel like I have this sort of secret anti? I don’t know I’m kinda scared to be alone now.”

“If you don’t mind, can you walk with me home today? It’s embarrassing but i feel kinda scared to walk hom alone.” You eyes widened in shock but you quickly agree anyways. You just got an offer to spend some extra time with your crush. However a huge part of you felt guilty about what happened.

“I’m sorry I can’t I have to go somewhere. Uh I think i actually need to go right now.” You stood up and taerae looks at you softly, almost like his eyes were pleading for you to not go away.

“Okay I’ll just call your roommate to get you since I really can’t, it’s park hanbin right?”

“yeah, do you have his number? I think I left my belongings at the room I don’t have my phone right now.”

“Ah yes i do! Let me dial him.” You scroll through your contacts searching for his name, quickly dialing him.

“Hey y/n, what’s up!” Hanbin responds almost immediately, greeting you in a cheery tone.

“Hey, so taerae’s at the clinic right now, he got a concussion and sprained his ankle and he kinda can’t get to his dorm alone right now so can you come pick him up right now?”

“Alright I see..”

“Sorry it’s kinda hard to explain right now but taerae’s gonna fill you in on the details later.”

“It’s okay i know what happened, junhyeon told me..”

“Ah r-really, okay anyways just come and get him right now.” You quickly end the call hoping he doesn’t go on and run his mouth on what happened.

“just stay here and wait for hanbin I think I’ll have to go now.”

“Take care! see you in the cafe and next week!” Taerae flashes you his warm smile as he waves at you.

“You too taerae.” You smile back and take your leave..

_________________________________

ATTEMPT HONESTLY CAN’T EVEN KEEP UP ANYMORE : FIGURING IT OUT AGAIN PART SOMETHING OR MAYBE NOT

You and your friends, ricky, junhyeon, zhanghao and sung hanbin and gunwook gathered in the same cafe once again.

_________________________________

“So what’s your new plan?”

“Guys I really don’t know anymore.” You let your head hit the table, feeling so defeated at the moment after thinking about your two failed confession attempts.

“Guys what’s a foolproof way of me confessing where I don’t need to do it on the spot, or one that doesn’t have a chance of leaving him terrified him in any way.”

“Yeah he’s been taerae-fied too many times.” Junhyeon jokes. You roll your eyes at his poor attempt of making a taerae pun.

“The plans have been so terrible.” You sigh.

“Taeraeble you could say..” Ricky softly says while looking down as junhyeon giggled, trying to surpress his laugh.

“Ok I swear if you guys say another one.” You glare at the two.

“Hmm perhaps maybe.” Gunwook leads. After junhyeon blabbered to him about what happened he was also then informed of the fact that you had feelings for taerae too.

“actually never mind I don’t know I thought i was thinking for a moment but it blew away sorry.”

“Junhyeon why did you invite gunwook over too, he’s no help either.” Gunwook turns to you and fakes a loud gasp and you roll your eyes over his dramatic act.

“By the way um sorry to say this late but, taerae just quit his job here yesterday. He also said he’s transferring outside of the school.” Sung hanbin mentions.

“Yeah and he also said he’s transferring next semester, he’s actually moving out next friday.” Sung hanbin adds. Everyone else is shocked over the sudden news. Taerae leaving so suddenly was never in anyone’s bingo cards.

“No! I love taerae too much! Why am I only knowing now that my man is leaving.” Junhyeon dramatically fake cries.

“Oh shit. i just realized.”

“What?”Hao turns to you.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to see taerae much anymore, it’s our last class next week and we don’t talk much outside.”You recalled that the last day of your class with taerae was already next week because after that it would be finals then everything’s done. You weren’t sure if you were going to still be able to talk to taerae knowing how you usually only talked during class.

Maybe a part of you wished for those accidents to happen because deep inside, you were afraid about letting taerae find out about your feelings, afraid that he wouldn’t like you back and you’d lose the friendship you’ve built for a year.

_________________________________

The last monday. the last class you were going to share with taerae ever.

“Hey y/n i want to tell you something.” You look in his direction. You were already had an idea on what he was going to say.

“I’m moving out next week and I quit my part time job at hanbin's cafe. Though maybe you’ve noticed and Hanbin might’ve already told you but yeah I just wanted to tell you.”

“Oh I guess we won’t be seeing each other much anymore..” You say and his eyes widened. He waves his hands and sends you a reassuring look.

“oh we won’t be seeing each other much anymore but I promise I’ll try to keep up with you! um my roommates wanted to throw a farewell party, honestly a little dramatic haha but I wanted to invite you and you friends over. It’s going to be a small one don’t worry.”

“Sure! I’d love to come, I’ll tell my friends too.”

“The last hurrah, you know. Also just so you know,, I genuinely enjoyed getting to know you this year, you were the best person I’ve met this year. I was so happy to have known you this year and I would have totally flunked this class because I might’ve have just ended up sleeping through every lecture haha.”

“Anyways I’ll see you at the party, yeah?” He points at you with that signature smile plastered on his face once again.

“Absolutely.” You smile back.

_________________________________

“I can’t do this anymore! I’ve tried everything like EVERYTHING yet somehow everytime I can’t seem to tell him how I feel.” You cried as you took another shot of soju. Initially, you were alone at the convenience store wanting to buy alone a beer or two to let loose but here you were with almost two empty soju bottles.

“why didn’t a single thing go right..” you bury your face in your hands.

a thought pops into your head and liquid courage pushed you to now film a voicemail on your phone to taerae. now, you were quite wasted and couldn’t see shit but you still pushed yourself.

you drunkenly record yourself professing your love to him, addressing him as you. you laugh to yourself as you finished recording and finally hit the send button.

“maybe this can work ahehe.”

“Y/n?” You hear a young man call out your name. You look up and your vision was too blurry to make out the owner of the voice. it was very familiar and clear to you but you just couldn’t seem to lay a finger on who it could be.

“You!” You stood up from your seat, pointing at the unknown man with your eyes closed. He takes a step back at your sudden move, confused on what to do.

You try to open you eyes, trying to take a look but soon your vision darkens and you pass out. the night going on as a blur.

_________________________________

your eyes flitter open and you feel your head ringing, a painful reminder of what happened last night. you wake up, confused as you look around, the surroundings being all too new.

since when did i have white sheets and a clean ass bedroom?

you slap yourself, trying to figure if it was a dream or not. but it wasn’t.

soon you hear a knock on the door on the far left and taerae enters, carrying a glass of tea and painkillers on a tray.

“oh you’re awake, anyways here take these for your hangover. finish the cup of tea and if your headache feels really unbearable, take a tylenol. anyways how are you feeling?” he hands the tray to you and he sits down by you.

“Honestly woke up with a terrible headache. Is this your place?I’m so sorry..” You ask.

“Yes but don’t worry about it, I saw you pass out last night and I didn’t want to leave you there.” he says and sends a reassuring smile your way. you felt your heart skip a beat for a second.

“anyways stay as long as you need! take care of yourself and rest. if you need water or anything, just call me! okay?” he says as he proceeds to leave the room.

you feel your phone vibrate next to you and you are shocked upon what you see when you receive a notification from park hanbin.

phanbin: let’s talk about this at the dorm party ;)

well, shit.

. Taerae invited the whole friend group (since he was friends with all of you too anyways) and the other dorm mates to come over. He requested it to not be so grand since he wanted it to be a simple farewell.

It was probably the last day you were ever going to see him and it kinda killed you inside knowing not a single attempt of your confessions worked and the words you’ve been trying to relay are going to be left unspoken. Other than that, you had also discovered that you had sent a voicemail to park hanbin, perhaps leading him on. You also couldn’t bear to see taerae after your past encounter. This day, you were definitely more than nervous to come.

You, ricky, sung hanbin and zhanghao decided to go the dorm together. When you arrive, you finally meet the other dormmates taerae had always talked about in his stories.

“Hi! I’m woongki, Nice to meet you. Come in.” The brown haired boy cheerfully greeted the four of you as soon as you guys came in as he lead you guys to sit on the couch. Another taller, black-haired boy goes next to him and introduces himself.

“Hey I’m seowon! Another roommate and woongki’s roommate.”

“I see, it makes so much sense that you’re roommates, you both are very smiley haha.” you say, seeing how cheery and friendly the two are in welcoming the both of you.

In the mean time, you got to chat with woongki and seowon. Park hanbin and taerae were still getting food and drinks.

From talking to them, you were also able to catch some stories and new facts about taerae. To your surprise, they reveal how he actually goes around the dorm wearing horrendous clothing pieces, wearing the same pair of red pants almost every day like it was the only pair of pants he owned. You also then learn about how taerae used to sing a lot in church growing up. His guitar was his pride and often, he would play and sing for them if ever anyone wanted him to. He could just sing on the spot if you asked him to.

The more you heard about him, the more endearing he was to you. It certainly didn’t help with making your feelings go away or having to deal with not seeing him anymore.

“Sorry we took long but we’re here!” Park hanbin and taerae finally arrived, with all their hands full with bags filled with snacks, chicken and beer.

For the night, you guys plan to play a few games then wrap up the night with a movie marathon afterwards.

The first game you guys decided to play was uno. It was fun, a lot of oohs and a lot of cheating with some players hiding specific cards. (yeah it was on junhyeon and ricky). Taerae on the other hand, often when he lost he’d go look over your cards and coach you, and despite taerae being the first one to lose almost all the time, he managed to make you win every time.

It was followed by a game of charades. It was even more chaotic than playing uno.

Then lastly, truth or dare.

The dares were pretty mild like for example, taking their shirt off for the whole game, having to eating a tablespoon of sugar or just doing a specific dance.

And for some reason, nobody chose truth because they were just pretty lame questions like did you ever fail a test? Or did you ever have your first kiss blablabla. the dares were more entertaining.

“Oooh y/n’s the chosen one!” Everyone cheered.

“So, what’s your choice, is it a truth or a dare?”

“I’ll choose truth.”

“Alright, let me think do you like anyone in the room?” Hanbin smirks, he was definitely planning on something.

“Of course I like everyone in the room, what are you implying.” You laugh with a hint of nervousness, trying to play off the question.

“No I mean, do you like like anyone, romantically?” He states, now you were sure park hanbin might have caught on and he defended knows.

“Be honest..”

You stop and take a small gulp as everyone’s eyes were all glued onto you in anticipation.

“Yeah..” you softly say and oohs were throwed. Your friends laugh and try to act all shocked as if they didn’t know you did and who it was.

“Woah really.” Park hanbin brings one of his hands to a mouth as he nods his head, seemingly not so shocked either.

“Who?”

“Come on it’s over it’s supposed to be one question.”

“We need to know!”

“Hanbin stop..they’re obviously not comfortable sharing especially in this setting so just stop.” Taerae sternly says making the whole room go silent.

“Well moving on then! Why don’t we start the movie marathon, yeah?” Everyone stands up from the ground and proceeds to lay on the couch. And chairs laying around.

You look in taerae’s direction and he gives you a small smile.

Buzz. Your phone rang.

You look over and recieve a text from park hanbin, asking you to meet up at his bedroom to discuss something. He looks at you and directs to go up with his eyes.

You roll your eyes but you get up anyways as you go upstairs, hanbin following along.

Taerae notices the two of you sneaking upstairs. He was curious about what you two were up to.

“Aw man there’s no more popcorn.” Junhyeon complains, his voice snapping taerae from his thoughts.

“Okay what now?”

“i know about it.”

“About how you feel.”

“About what?” You furrow one of your eyebrows as hanbin takes a pause, his lips pursed as he looks at the ground.

“I know you like me.” You pause there for a moment, your brain trying to function as for this time you had misled the wrong boy into thinking that you like him.

“Oh uh about it..”

“It’s fine you don’t have to deny it but y/n I’m sorry I don’t like you in that way though but you know maybe I could give you a chance and get to know you more first?” He shyly takes a step closer to you, moving his face closer to yours.

“Uh Hanbin.” You freeze on the spot, not knowing what to do or what to say.

“It’s not- like I don-“

“It’s okay you don’t have to deny it, look I acknowledge your feelin-“ He moves his face closer to yours to look into your eyes.

All of a sudden the door next to the two of you creaks open, revealing taerae standing there with his mouth wide open.

“Sorry to interrupt you guys but uh I just wanted to say I’m going to sleep now since I’m leaving early tomorrow.” Taerae awkwardly smiles and takes his leaves. You panic, assuming he probably overheard most of the conversation which might have misled him to thinking you actually had a crush on park hanbin.

You mentally curse at yourself as you watch taerae turn his back and turn away.

“Now going back..”

You quickly shut the door, take a deep breath and take a hold of hanbin’s shoulders. Well you hd to clear it up, it’s now or never.

“I don’t like you. I don’t have any feelings for you. I am not interested at you.” You look up at him and gave him a straight face. He tilts his head, knitting his eyebrows in confusion.

“Huh?Then why did you send me that voicemail?”

“Man this is so embarrassing.”You look at the ground in shame, not wanting to open the conversation over the embarrassing voicemail.

“I accidentally sent it to you..it was meant for someone else.” You facepalm.

“I was drunk and I wasn’t thinking clearly! It was really stupid of me. I just sent it to you thinking it was..someone else plus I was drunk! I my vision was all blurry too i’m sorry.” You continued, Hanbin lets out an oh as he scratches his head, embarrassed and confused.

“Wait then who was it for?”

“About that..”

“Tell me who? Who is it?” He whines as he playfully pokes your arm, curious as to who the lucky boy may be. You certainly didn’t want to tell the boy knowing he was taerae’s best friend and he might blabber about it to him.

“Secret.”

“Awwww come on….wait..Ha! Nevermind don’t tell me I know.” Hanbin lets out a light laugh, taking a step closer to you.

“Your crush on taerae is so painfully obvious.”he whispered. You freeze on the spot. He takes a step back and continues giggling to himself.

“I mean I could feel it before but I pushed it off because I thought you liked me..but it all makes more sense now. you, see taerae at the cafe everyday, you light up when he talks to you, you always stare at him, can you also not make that obvious? And lastly I can easily sense that the way you act around him is very different from everyone else.”

“Like you are in love with him.” He crosses his arms and he knew he was right.

“Pfft no.”

“Oh yeah you are.”

“But he’s moving away anyways so it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Aw sorry about that..”

“And from what happened earlier..he probably thinks I like you.”

“I’m so sorry about that, you know what, I’ll clear it up to him-“

“No you don’t have to, he’s leaving and I don’t want to cause anything. and it’s my fault really! I was the one who carelessly sent that voicemail, I’m sorry for leading you on too. So anyways, I think I might just go leave now.” You flash hanbin a smile to reassure him before leaving. Hanbin grabs your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

“I’m also sorry about earlier too by the way, y/n. Honestly-“

“Hanbin I’m sorry for cutting you off again but honestly I think I need to go now. I just don’t want taerae to know, and I’m not sure if we’ll keep up when he leaves so I iust hope we stay as friends, so we don’t leave at an awkward note. Anyways thank you and sorry hanbin but I gotta go now.” He loosens his grip on your wrist and pats your shoulder.

“Take care.”

Here you are, in the comfort of hanbin’s care sipping on a glass of iced coffee, staring out the window. Last night, you left the party early and you weren’t able to bid taerae a proper goodbye in person.

you open your phone, and stare at you text messages with taerae, contemplating on whether you wanted to write him a long goodbye message or to simply tell him good luck and take care.

“for how long are you going to stare at your phone.” hanbin gets you from your out-of-zone state.

“hanbin, I don’t know how to say goodbye. honestly I feel miserable. I hate that he’s leaving and I wasn’t even able to tell him how I feel.” you bury your face into yoir hands. hanbin takes the seat next to you and rubs your back. the boy you loved was leaving and he never even got the chance to know how you truly felt.

as if the heavens heard your cries, you felt your phone vibrate and you received a notification of a text message from park hanbin.

phanbin: y/n go run to taerae right now. he’s leaving soon but hey, you deserve to be able to tell him how you feel properly and now may be the perfect time. I also cleared up everything that happened last night lol so dw. anyways do this text me back and go run to him NOWWW!!!!!! he’s still in front of our dorm <3

You look at hanbun and he gives you a reassuring nod as an approval.

“Go now!!!” he yells good luck to you as you proceed to rush out of the cafe, running towards the direction of his dorm. You ran and ran, your feet moving at a full speed like you were at a marathon. a rush of adrenaline filled you and this time, you were motivated than ever to tell him how you truly feel.

you were just one block away from the dorm and soon, you spot a car parked in front of the dorm with a handful of boxes outside. you proceed to go there but you couldn’t see taerae around. you’re not too late, his boxes are here so he’s somewhere.

you take a deep breath first, resting your hands on your knees first from all the running. you forgot that you weren’t an athlete and your lack of exercise was getting right back at you.

you receive another text mess from park hanbin.

park hanbin:I I’m sorry i know you’re probably sprinting right now but he’s at the convenience store so you might have to do a little more running. his dumbass forgot to buy a few things. anyways good luck y/n! you got this.” he sends you a thumbs up emoji.

you run and run again and you curse under your breath, realizing how far the convenience store is. your legs were slowly getting wobbly and you onew your lack of physical activity was bound to get you someday but you hoped it wouldn’t be right now.

you just stop running and start walking instead. as you near the store, you spot the brown-haired young man outside, sitting on a table outside with his back facing you.

you take a deep breath before tapping his shoulder. he turns around and you thank the heavens that there was no plot twist of this being a non-taerae or else you were going to absolutely throw a fit.

“hey taerae! I needed to tell you something before you go and I wanted to give you a proper goodbye in person since I wasn’t able to last night.” you say and the boy stands up, flashing you a grin as he had gimbap in his mouth. he raises his hand and you were a little confused as to what he meant by that.

“should I say what I need to say or wait for you to finish?” he swallows his food down before speaking up.

“ok sorry you can go on now.” he lightly chuckles and you laugh a little.

you take a huge gulp, taking a look at the ground before looking straight at him right in the eye. he eagerly listens, giving you a reassuring look. it’s finally happening.

“taerae I have been dying to tell you this for a long time now honestly and although I don’t think now is the perfect time, I just wanted to get this off my chest before you go cause I know I would regret it if I didn’t tell you sooner.” you take a pause and he gives you another nod, a way of telling you he was still listening.

so here it goes.

“I li-“

you were soon cut off by the sound of the door opening as a man calls out to taerae“taerae hyung! Did you kn- y/n?” you look behind you and you spot junhyeon, holding a full meal of burgers and fries and a cup of come on a tray in his hands.

“junhyeon what the hell are you doing here?”

“I was helping taerae moving out then he went here to buy things then we just decided to eat here.” he says, standing there, a little confused. he quickly scans the situation between you and then it finally hit him.

“ah I believe I interrupted something here, sorry I will just eat inside.”

the boy quickly rushes back inside.

you turn to taerae again. “anyways, sorry for the little commotion there. anyways as I was saying, taerae-junhyeon what the actual fuck sit somewhere else.” junhyeon sat in front of the window directly facing the both of you. you motion to the boy to move the other way and he rolls his eyes before taking a seat somewhere else.

“oh god I hope it’s the last of him. I swear if anything goes wrong again-“

all of the sudden, the rain decides to twist the odds and rain on your parade. you grab taerae’s hand, about to take him inside but he firmly holds onto your hand, telling you to stay.

“taerae it’s raining, you’ll get sick, we have to get in i’ll just tell you inside.”

“no tell me right here, right now. you have been wanting to tell me for a long time and I know you want to say it already.” you felt a hint of seriousness in his tone.

“are you serious?well fine It’s so weird to say it right now but okay..taerae, i..” He nods, the words starting to get hesitant to leave your mouth. you take a deep breath and you finally mustered up the courage.

“taerae I like you. no, actually I’m in love with you. It’s embarrassing but It’s true and I can’t fight it anymore. I loved getting to know you and from the moment i first laid my eyes on you and heard your sweet voice back in that open mic, I fell in love. I was so lucky to be able to get to know you more too. you are the sweetest, kindest and most wonderful person I’ve ever met. It’s okay if you don’t like me back. I just want to say that I love and appreciate every moment I got to spend with you in the past year..it was so lovely to have known you taerae.” unexpectedly he lets out a light laugh, his big signature smile painted on his face. he gently takes both of your hands in his.

“I love you too, y/n. in fact, I’ve always known.” you felt like your ears betrayed you at the last part. what does he mean he always knew?

“back at the clinic, I saw the letter next to you while you slept. it had the words ‘to taerae’ written on it so I just opened it. I read each and every word you wrote and took it to heart. I was so happy to know you felt the same..but when you woke up, you hid the letter and I iust felt that you were still not ready to tell me so I didn’t open a convo about it. hanbin told me about everything and cleared everything up, actually both hanbins did, sung and park haha.” you both laugh.

“well..what now? you’re leaving now so what will be then? we’ll barely see each other now that we’re not in the same uni.”

“actually about that, I’m still in the same uni, I’m only moving dorms..”

“what?” the whole dramatic mood you had turned upside down. you playfully smack taerae’s arm, bursting into tears. he didn’t expect to see you cry but he just laughs and brings you into a hug.

“I forgot to specify to you guys that I was not transferring schools and only dorms and that just made me realize why everyone was dramatic with everything. please don’t cry..”

“that’s really mean taerae, I was actually so upset that you were leaving so I was miserable for nothing.” your bury your face into his chest, pulling him tighter and taerae began to laugh.

he slowly lets go and cups your face, breaking into a smile and you feel the whole world brighten as you look into his eyes again. he stares at your lips and your faces inch closer together.

“may I?” he asks and you nod your head before he gently brings your face closer to his with his finger and his arms snake around your waist. you felt the whole world stop as you melt into his touch. your lips seemingly shaped for one another.

slowly, he pulls away and breaks into a huge smile.

“finally! I’ve been waiting for this one.” you hear junhyeon’s screams from inside the store and you simply roll your eyes back at him, you and taerae laughing over his reaction.

you turn to look back at taerae.

“I really love you and I’m glad you’re finally mine.” you giggle as you wrap your arms around his neck, bringing his face close enough for you noses to touch.

and finally, the odds were in your favor.

a/n and you reached the end! hope you enjoyed reading it. this has been sitting in my drafts for a month, but missing taerae and the new kcon behind drove me to finish this story! I also have a love-hate relationship with this which is why it took pretty long to write HAIAHSHSB sorry for some mistakes in the capatalization of names and grammar that I may have overlooked. But anyways feel free to leave feedback! I would love to hear your honest thoughts on this :>>>

[ariiiiih]

About <辜(Gu/Guilty)> (a TGCF AD song)

The last two versions of 辜 are really great, so I wanna share some thoughts and provide some supplementary materials.

The first one in episode 17 is a ballad version. As Xintong (新桐, TGCF AD’s music monitor) said in her webio, “[it’s] to unfold and highlight He Xuan’s mood from his perspective.”

This version is sorrowful but soft, and the lalala childish humming at the end, which sounds like a nursery rhyme, gives this song a sense of purity and innocence. In the blackwater arc, which consists of horror, anger, hatred, and despair, this feeling never appeared. Then, why use this song, this feeling to express HX?

The song was like out of the story, just like the feelings that HX never directly expressed. Actually, the warmest and touching scene in this story, from the RoEW to the end of revenge, was told in the first extra of TGCF----HX’s family, who gave XL a bowl of Yuanxiao and wished he would reunite with his family:

“Do you not have the money?” the owner asked. Still stricken, Xie Lian couldn’t reply, but the owner simply said, “Forget it. I’ll give it to you for free, considering how tragic you look. I'll be packing up once you’re done, so hurry home. Today is Yuanxiao, the day for family reunions!” …

The little girl was biting on her spoon with her head tilted. “When is gege coming home? I wanna wait until he’s back before digging in.” “He’s so late,” the owner chimed in. “Coming home so late on Yuanxiao; how outrageous!” “He’s working hard. He’Il be home soon,” the old woman chided. “Don’t scold him when he comes back. Miao-er! Miao-er, stop working. I feel awful always needing you to help out. Come here, and let’s eat together.” “Not at all!” the young woman replied. She cleaned the last table before sitting down with them to share yuanxiao. They seemed to be waiting for another member of the family to join them, and the four of them chatted and laughed all the while.

And the tragedy of this family in TGCF AD, when HX’s sister said “Gege, let's be brother and sister in the next life” and when his father told him “Son, father’s going with your mother,” was heartbreaking.

So, this ballad version of 辜, from He Xuan’s perspective, was like He Xuan remembering his family, his life, and all the happiness and suffers in it; it was like He Xuan looking back to the path that he had walked so far over hundreds of years and the three lifetimes of man, god, and ghost; and lamenting the people who had been involved in this fate-switching incident, the lives of those who had died innocently and tragically. Humming is a primitive expression of feelings, compassionate and pure like a god, while the mourning for those low-level, insignificant mortals shows the idea that gods should not love only abstract humans, but real people.

As an avenger, it's easy to think of HX's anger and hatred. But when they are stripped away, we can find that deep in his heart, the feeling and reason of his revenge that we easily overlook, is the pure love between him and his family, the warmest and the most joyful past. This love may seem ordinary, less splendor than other ghost kings’ beliefs or the relationship with Shi brothers, but it is this love that supported him to resolutely carry out an extremely long and lonely revenge that no one has ever done. Even though he would never rest and would suffer forever and he knew it, some people were worth doing that for.

That’s why I like this version. It reminded me of “true voyage is return”. The character of He Xuan is very complex but easily flattened and stereotyped because his inner self and his inward exploration are hidden, and this song shows the neglected side of He Xuan, a more human and even divine side.

The last version in episode 18 is an omniscient perspective (I haven’t seen the translation yet, so I tried to do it by myself, sorry if it sounds weird in English).

运数又何为 命中误

What fate has done,

A mistake in life.

似这般无妄劫 怎可渡

Like this undeserved trial,

How can it be passed?

一个是琳琅材 一个是凡间骨

One is a precious jade,

The other an ordinary bone.

偏谁得奇缘 放醉入仙府

Yet, who is destined

To stumble into the immortal realm.

做仙的眼无珠 做鬼的有恨难诉

The god has eyes but blind,

The ghost harbors hatred but hard to tell.

骨肉终消散 尝尽悲与苦

Flesh and blood dissipated,

Sorrow and Pain tasted.

这欠命的已还命 赎命的却无人赎

The one who owed a life has paid,

The one who atoned remains unredeemed.

问去去来来谁赢输

Ask who wins and who loses.

叹尘归尘来土归土

Sign, as ashes return to ashes,

And dust to dust.

This song has the style of Dream of the Red Chamber (the greatest classical novel in Chinese literature). Here are the songs in this novel, where you could find some similarities.

Vain Longing: One is an immortal flower of fairyland, The other fair flawless jade, And were it not predestined, Why should they meet again in this existence? Yet, if predestined, Why does their love come to nothing? One sighs to no purpose, The other yearns in vain, One is the moon reflected in the water, The other but a flower in the mirror. How many tears can well from her eyes? Can they flow on from autumn till winter, From spring till summer?

The Birds into the Wood have Flown: The office jack’s career is blighted, The rich man’s fortune now all vanished, The kind with life have been requited, The cruel exemplarily punished; The one who owed a life is dead, The tears one owed have all been shed. Wrongs suffered have the wrongs done expiated; The couplings and the sundering were fated. Untimely death sin in some past life shows, But only luck a blest old age bestows. The disillusioned to their convents fly, The still deluded miserably die. Like birds who, having fed, to the woods repair, They leave the landscape desolate and bare.

Also, in the Bloody Fire Social of AD, the first time we heard Scholar He (*in ancient China we called a scholar ‘Sheng’, that’s where He Sheng came, not He Xuan’s another name), the verse that artist sang also shared a similarity with a song from Dream of the Red Chamber.

(Bloody Fire Social):

世人皆说贺生好

All men long to be He Sheng

功名利禄少不了

With riches and rank that all aspire;

如今贺家在何方？

The kind family of He, where are they now?

荒冢一堆草没了

Their graves are a mass of briars.

All Good Things Must End (first part): All men long to be immortals Yet to riches and rank each aspires; The great ones of old, where are they now? Their graves are a mass of briars.

An interesting coincidence is that “All Good Things Must End” is the opening verse of Dream of the Red Chamber, while “The Birds into the Wood have Flown” is the closing verse of Dream of the Red Chamber. And the two similar songs in the blackwater arc are told from He Sheng's life to the end of He Xuan's revenge, which I personally like as a literary homage.

[daitranscripts]

Josephine Romance

An Innocent in Love

Josephine Masterpost

The PC speaks to Josephine

PC: Well, Leliana just gave me quite the speech.

What about?

About us.

(Sighs with exasperation.) Oh, she is impossible. Might we discuss this somewhere more private?

—

They move to the PC’s quarters. Josephine is pacing back and forth while the PC sits nearby on a couch.

Josephine: Leliana said I was “an innocent in love”?

PC: More or less.

Josephine: Of all the—I’m quite capable of understanding our association.

Josephine: I’ve never thought your intentions were overly romantic, Inquisitor, I assure you.

Dialogue options:

End romance: I’m not interested in you that way. (This will break off a romance path with Josephine.) [1]

Flirt: But what if they were? (Kindle the start of a romance with Josephine) [2]

Flirt: I should have flirted harder. (Kindle the start of a romance with Josephine) [3]

1 - End romance: I’m not interested in you that way. PC: But we are still friends, right? Josephine: Ah, well. I’m glad we’ve settled this, and… I’ll be going. Josephine: Should you ever think— PC: I don’t know if— Josephine: Goodnight, my [lord/lady]. Scene ends.

2 - Flirt: But what if they were? PC: Would my attentions be unwelcome if they were romantic? Josephine: What? Oh. No! That is…

3 - Flirt: I should have flirted harder. PC: Perhaps I should have composed a ballad, then. Or sent roses. Josephine: What? You mean you do—

4 - Scene continues.

Josephine: We’ve only just… I didn’t wish to presume you harbored any tender feelings for me.

Dialogue options:

General: But I do care for you. PC: I won’t deny a certain captivation, Josephine. ㅤㅤ ㅤ

General: I’d like it if you did. PC: I have no objections. Presume away. ㅤㅤ ㅤ

General: Then I’ll spell it out. PC: But I am attracted to you. Quite, in fact.

The PC stands.

Josephine: But we haven’t even known each other a few short months. How can you declare this liking for me after such a brief time together?

Dialogue options:

General: You’ve made it easy. PC: You’ve intelligence, elegance, and I always delight in your company. It seems most natural to want to be close to you. ㅤㅤ ㅤ

General: Because sometimes it happens. PC: ’ve never met anyone whose presence affects me like you do. Perhaps it just means I’m a hopeless romantic, but there you have it. ㅤㅤ ㅤ

General: I wish I knew. I just need you. PC:I don’t know why I can’t stop thinking about you, Josephine. I only know that I do.

Josephine: I would not object to a… closer relationship between us, my [lady/lord]. If that sounds agreeable to you.

Dialogue options:

General: That sounds wonderful. [5]

General: I think I owe Leliana. [6]

General: Thank the Maker. [7]

5 - General: That sounds wonderful. PC: Nothing would make me happier. Josephine: Well, then… [8]

6 - General: I think I owe Leliana. PC: I’m actually quite glad Leliana prompted this talk. Josephine: I suppose she was right after all. Please don’t tell her I said that. PC: I wouldn’t dream of it. [8]

7 - General: Thank the Maker. PC: You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. Josephine: Well, then… [8]

8 - Scene continues.

They share a romantic kiss, and Josephine’s foot pops up.

[thediminishedheretic]

Pretending Zelpha is Canon: Part 1

You know the Mipha's Grace cutscene where Mipha is healing Link on top of Vah Ruta? Well, she never actually says Link's name in the custcene.

But you know who else in the game could easily fit into that cutscene with nothing changed?

Zelda.

"This reminds me of the time we first met. You were just a reckless child . . . always getting yourself hurt at every turn"

As a princess, Zelda would have probably spent quite a bit of time in the domain with Mipha, who is also a princess around her age (at least in terms of maturity and Zora years).

They easily would have met as children and spent substantial time together (you're going to need to build relations with the Zora if you want to fight the Calamity together).

And Zelda is kinda reckless in the game: she's a scientist (she would definitely get injured doing science), she abandoned Link to travel to Gerudo Town and almost got killed by Yiga in the process, fainted in freezing waters from desperation to unlock her powers, tried to make Link eat a frog, etc.

"Maybe things can go back to how they used to be when we were young"

This line could easily be about how Dorephan let them have fun together when they were younger but as they both grew up they had to get more involved in politics and spend less time doing what they wanted together.

By why would Mipha say this to Link if she was talking about Zelda?

BECAUSE MIPHA WAS PRACTISING WHAT SHE WAS GOING TO SAY TO ZELDA WITH LINK

And that's why she pauses and sometimes repeats words in the cutscene. She's still trying to get the right words out, and still feels nervous.

She's a princess, and Kass says in the Champions Ballad DLC that she was kind but also known to be quite strict. So wouldn't she be more eloquent if she meant those words to be for Link? (notice the difference between her lines after death and lines in the cutscene)

Also, people do ramble a lot to Link. He's a good listener. So it's entirely plausible that he would help her out like that, that's the kind of bestie he is.

This (delusional) interpretation of the scene can even connect to the Champions Ballad DLC!

Mipha has a line where she tells Link to, "tell the princess that I wish I could have told her . . . all of the things I never said".

But like, how would Link know all the things Mipha wished she could have told Zelda?

Because Mipha literally said those things! Right to his face! In the cutscene!

In summary, the Mipha's Grace cutscene is totally about Mipha practising her confession to Zelda with Link.

Thank you for making it this far, this ramble was brought to you by a delusional Zelpha shipper.

[weirdtinkerbellversion]

Just got out of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes and I loved it so much but as always, I have thoughts and feelings. So here's the initial observation. FULL SPOILERS for The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes BELOW you have been warned.

First of all, I loved the way they organized it and the fact that they kept the 3 acts clearly defined the same way the books did, and the opening scene is brilliant. Putting it at the forefront like that gives you all you need to know to understand Corio later. The acting is phenomenal, the songs (I could die). All in all, kudos. Absolutely brilliant. Now to the things I wish they had done differently.

First, changing the sequence of events in the arena. I understand we're on a time limit but there are details that to me, reading the book, I felt were too important not to put in. Examples below.

One: the fact that Lucy's poisoned water does not kill Wovey, only Dill. Don't get me wrong, they both get the point across and the fact that Lucy is in fact responsible for someone younger and weaker than her dying, but I feel like in the films, they established this stronger connection between Lucy and Wovey in a couple of scenes, including them holding hands as they walk into the games, and Wovey being killed by that bottle would have really pushed things in a way I would have liked to see.

Two: the way they changed Reaper and his behavior and his ending. What I loved about Reaper in the books was his defiance in silence. Everything he did for the tributes he did without ever saying a word, which in my opinion was more powerful than when he yells in the films, but that's a minor detail. What I didn't like was that he was killed by the snakes and we don't get to see Lucy use his graveyard and the flag against him, doing that little cat and mouse dance until he dies. His death in the movie was shot beautifully, with his arms wide, sitting among the dead bodies he compiled, poetic as fuck, but give me the book death because it says so much about both his and Lucy's characters.

Three: this is a more minor detail but I wish they hadn't changed the way Lysistrata handles Jessup's death and his rabies. Instead of her offering to save Lucy by sending all this water, it's Coryo who suggests it out of the blue and Lys doesn't like it.

My second issue with the film is that I felt act 3 was a little rushed in its storytelling. We get all the events for the most part but I felt like they were running out of time and trying to cram everything that happens in these last 45 minutes. For example, we see them hunting the Mockingjays but we never get an explanation, we never understand what they're doing (for viewers who have not read the book). And because of that, we see so much less of this hatred that Coryo has for the mockingjays that is so well set up in the book. We also get the results of Snow's aptitude test out of the blue as well. I wish we had gotten a little more insight into the life that he and Sejanus led for a bit to contextualize everything and to help us connect even more. Even Sejanus' exclusion from the trip to the lake and the relationship with the Covey made me a little sad because those moments in the books helped make the separation and realization of "betrayal" if you want to call it that even more poignant. It helped us see how truly selfish Coryo is and his lack of connection with anyone in that part of his life.

Third, I wish we had seen him throw away his mother's compact and his photos of his family and only keeping his father's compass as he leaves District 12. That moment in the book was so important for me. We see him becoming more like his father and throwing away the things that remind him of his mother and Tigris who were the kinder people in his life.

Anyway, this was a long rant about things that popped into my head while I was watching. The film is absolutely brilliant and I didn't want it to end and I want more songs and soundtracks and I'll definitely be rewatching it when I can.

[mikuchan]

bonus short piece (850 words)...where Alfira once again has to tell Minthara to just be nice already

taking place between chapter 4 (Lakrissa leaving the Elfsong table) and chapter 5 (Alfira approaching her the next morning) of Something to Play For

because @gaeldricge and I were talking about it!

Words, Alfira thinks, can solve a lot. Poetry, songs, long deep talks…even arguments have their place at times.

Her brother once told her she should go into law. With her mind and her social attitude, she’d be a pip of a trial lawyer. She could even, he’d said, become a magistrate like their uncle – but that sort of thing has never interested Alfira. She’d rather write ballads about a person’s daring deeds, not use it against them in some stuffy court. 

Still. It’s thoughts of her uncle that circle her mind now, and she emulates him as best she can. Shoulders squared, chin held high. Firm logic, fair results. No singsong silliness now. It’s time to lay down the law.

“Minthara,” Alfira says, “you can not be rude to Lakrissa like that.”

Minthara’s sitting in bed, one leg crooked at the knee. A book’s propped against it: an undercommon novel Wyll found her at some shop or another. She looks up sharply at Alfira’s approach. “I don’t recall being rude. The wine was fine. Your company was enjoyable.”

“Lakrissa’s company was enjoyable, too.” This comes out less judicious and more childish, and she shores up her voice. “She’s important to me, Minthy, and you hurt her feelings. We hurt her feelings. It was unacceptable, and we need to do better going forward.”

“Lakrissa’s feelings are not for me to concern myself with.” Minthara’s tone is casual, but the words needle Alfira’s heart.

Ugh. She’s being awful – but she’s right. Kind of. Alfira was so glad to have them both with her, hands firm and warm and safe in hers, she didn’t stop to think about their relationship. If she’s being honest, she kind of didn’t want to.

Of course Minthara wasn’t going to be pleasant. Of course Lakrissa was going to raise her hackles and throw up every emotional wall she has. They’re practically strangers. (And, to be fair, their introduction was…less than ideal. But the Grove situation wasn’t really Minthara’s fault, because it wasn’t really Minthara. It’s all in the past now, anyway.)

Alfira’s the only tie that binds them now, and she’s somehow been taken as object to fight over instead of delightful bard who brings everyone together. She recalls Lakrissa’s face – grinning and warm, then so shuttered as she left the table – and her chest constricts. No, that can’t go on.

“I’m your concern,” Alfira says strictly, “so Lakrissa is too. You have to be kinder. No more antagonism.”

Minthara rolls her eyes, and Alfira frowns. They’re two peas in a pod, honestly. Her prickly, stubborn, temperamental women. 

They’re both smart, too, which Alfira admires – but sometimes they’re a little too smart. Lakrissa’s always getting in her own head, and Minthara forever thinks she alone knows best. Wish all she wants, Alfira can’t force them into getting along.  

But she also can’t let Minthara run roughshod over everything. 

Minthara has ostensibly returned to her book, but she’s not really reading it: she’s been on the same paragraph since Alfira approached. The bard joins her on the bed, settling herself cross-legged on the comforter. 

“What’s it about?” she asks, nodding at the novel. 

“A fictional House,” Minthara says. “Their Matron has been granted the ritual of Zin-carla, but struggles to wield it effectively.”

“Ooh! Exciting. I hope she figures it out.” Alfira lets this hang in the air, then says: “Lakrissa loves adventure novels.”

“Hm.”

“You could talk to her about them.”

Minthara finally flips the page. Huh. Maybe she is just a slow reader. “I doubt we have the same taste.” 

“Well, you both like me.” Alfira says. “She’s really wonderful, Minthy, and so are you. Just give her a chance, and be nice. No name-calling, no squabbling, no making her uncomfortable on purpose. I’m serious.”

Minthara frowns. “I do not intend to play nicely with the opposition.”

“Gods, will you just stop!” Several others glance over at Alfira’s raised tone. She takes a deep breath, and continues in a lower voice: “That’s my point. Lakrissa isn’t your opposition, Minthara, and I’m not some housegirl to be fought over.” 

Minthara arches one eyebrow. 

“I’m not,” Alfira says firmly. “Minthara, please. You didn’t like me either at first. You thought I was silly. You said you’d toss me to the spiders.”

“I’m still considering it,” Minthara says. Alfira ignores this.

“I’m not saying you have to love her,” she says instead. “You don’t even have to like her, I guess. But I do, Minthara, and I’m telling you: be polite. Don’t play big-scary-drow with me, I know you’ve got it in you. Be nice.”

Minthara’s eyebrows crease, and her lips are turned down in displeasure – but Alfira holds her gaze, and eventually she nods. “If you insist.”

“You’re lovely,” Alfira cries. Shifting onto her knees, she leans forward and kisses Minthara’s cheek. “You really are a sweetheart, you know.”

Tomorrow she’ll find Lakrissa. She’ll apologize, they’ll talk, and everything will work out just fine. Before long, it’ll be just like old times again – except it’ll be even better, because now Minthara’s here too. 

Everything will be good, in the end.

She knows it.

[haileyywrites]

Summary: Scaramouche after getting hold of the gnosis of his creator prepares to leave Snezhnaya for good, but is confronted by one of his fellow Harbingers. One who he could almost trust...

Pairings: Scaramouche/the Balladeer x Harbinger Reader!

Notes/warnings: Gender neutral reader! POC friendly! Little angsty, little fluffy! No other warnings really.

Scaramouche had never intended to stay loyal to the Fatui or the Cryo Archon, even when he was taken in by them when all others turned their backs on him. He didn't care for them or their goals, he was only seeking after his own ends and the Fatui were the easiest way to gain them. Most of all he did not care for his colleagues. Most were crazy, annoying or otherwise intolerable and insufferable - it didn't matter as long as he didn't have to interact with them much.

Betraying them wouldn't be difficult in the slightest, if anything it was a reward for enduring them f6ir as long as he did. Though he would never admit it to anyone... even himself, he did hesitate in the end - because of you.

You were annoying for sure, but nothing like the other Harbingers. You were by no means a saint or even a good person, but you were not crazy like them. In a way you were like him, he didn't interact with his fellows and you tented to keep to yourself. You did get along with everyone as well as anyone could with the likes of them... But still preferred to be on your own.

Your unexpected bond was created one snowy night, with the fake stars lighting up the sky and moon rising in the distance. You stood underneath the roof of the courtyard to avoid the snowfall and simply admired the nightly scenery. You turned your head to face the direction of approaching footsteps to see the Balladeer approaching with a scowl, which was far from uncommon. It was as if not scowling all the time would somehow kill him.

“Something wrong number 6th?” You asked halfheartedly.

“Why do you care.” He barked back.

“I don't. Just felt like the polite thing to say.” You replied with honesty.

He scoffed, “Exchanging pointless pleasantries is a waste of everyone's times.”

“I'll keep that in mind.” You leaned against the railing to look better at the sky.

“What, never seen the sky before?” He scoffed again.

“Just because I've seen it a thousand times doesn't mean it's any less beautiful to me.”

“Whatever.” He said as he walked off.

For whatever reason these nightly unplanned meetings became an almost everyday occurrence. He didn't require sleep and you were simply a night owl or just insomniac. Things progressed slowly as both of you didn't trust each other and wished to keep everyone at an arms length at all times. You both had your reason for it and for being here, but it wasn't loyalty or faith. If you weren't loyal to an Archon whose bidding you were actively acting out, then who could you be loyal to?

Though you got closer to him and made your way into his non-existent heart he never fully let you in, he just couldn't let anyone betray him and his heart. You knew he couldn't and never tried pushing him to do so, you feared it would push him away from you. So you remained a little more than strangers and colleges despite all that happened between you two.

You knew he would one day leave with the gnosis of his creator and betray the Fatui along with the Tsaritsa, but you thought it would be so much later in the future. You never gave it much thought before the very day it happened, you always thought you'd have more time and he would tell you before hand... A foolish thing to think and believe.

"Were you going to say anything?" You caught him mid packing.

"Should I have?" He asks in a monotone voice.

"I suppose not." The dissapointment in your voice is hard to miss.

He paused to say something to you, but in the end didn't. Perhaps it was for the best anyway...

"Did you... ever consider taking me with you?" You manage to ask despite your nerves.

He stops again and turns to look at you, but doesn't know what to say... There is something he wishes to say in reply, but he hesitates too long for you to take back your words.

"Forget it, it was a foolish question. I will be on my way then." You turn to leave and he doesn't stop you.

You want to stop and demand he take you with him, that he at least answerers honestly to you! But you don't. He won't let you in and he won't trust you, do there is nothing you can do...

"Goodbye, 6th." You say before walking out of his room without waiting for him to reply.

Your shoes clicked against the marble flooring as you walked away, you couldn't hear anything besides it. You remained as silent as you could - foolishly hoping to hear his door open with regret, that he would ask you to come with him like you had suggested... But you didn't. It never happened. You walked away and he left like the wind.

A/N: :'D

[soft-persephone]

We’re not a Galaxy but a Supernova

Marc Spector x Female!Reader

A Searching for Stardust One Shot

WC: .7k // Teen // warning: mention of self hate, violent behavior // yearning, slight angst // CH.4 //

Nothing without you - Tanrielle

I was listening to this song and these words just came to me. First time that’s ever happened to me

Unknown : if you miss me, look at the moon.

Marc put his phone away before he could regret sending it.

He let his mask fall over his face before descending back into the night. Before succumbing to the prison that held his sanity hand in hand with his freedom. His destruction. His savoir.

You were done practicing for the show and now it was time for you and your troop of dancers to take the stage.

You practiced all day and performed all night.

He was serving Khonshu more nights than most. Long insufferable nights they were booming, but he couldn’t say some part of him wanted it. He hadn’t felt so sane in such a long time.

As much as he hated being away from you, he needed this time to be apart from you. It’s what he told himself.

This time away could give him the answers he needed.

That maybe these feelings could mean something, and he could keep himself and his life from bleeding into yours and hurting you.

So right now Marc would settle.

He’d settle for the nights he’s fronting in the body and not serving Khonshu to watch videos of your performances. To watch an interview every now and then. He couldn’t bring himself to watch them all. It made you too real. It exposed some of the things left secret and unspoken between you two.

He hoped one night to see you perform in person.

That he could somehow convince Jake and Steven. Make a night out of it without causing their suspicions.

It was getting hard to explain why he was all of a sudden interested in Ballet and performing arts.

You spun and you glided.

You leaped and extended your body in ways he didn’t know was humanly possible, and he’s seen some things.

Watching you on stage filled him with such a rush of emotion as reading French poems did for Steven as certain Spanish ballads made Jake feel when he drove throughout the night sometime.

Watching you dance filled him with.. a love.

A love for life he hadn’t known he still had. For every person walking the street, for every moon that glittered in the night sky and every sun that graced the sky each day. For each star that was born and each one that died. Displaying the same dance that bewitched you both and captivated you together every other night. Those rare and precious nights that were beginning to stretch far in between space and time as those stars above.

It made him wish to be with you, properly.

He wanted to explode into non existence each night with you.

-

“Take five!”

Your Apple Watch buzzed with an unfamiliar number sending you a message.

It was about time for a break anyway.

Why you used it as an opportunity to see a random message, you did not know.

Unknown : if you miss me, look at the moon.

Your heart swelled.

It was him. It had to be.

Tears trickled into the corners of your eyes, and you had to close them a moment less you cry.

You had danced every night thinking of him.

Searching the crowd, wondering if you’ll see his face among the sea of thousands.

If he liked the Ballet or found it boring all together you did not know, but you ached to see him.

Your body was always moving. Prancing about all day, doing the same dance each night. Pushing yourself past your limits each and everyday to earn your spot as the head dancer. The one that called the shots each practice.

It was a highly competitive position, and in your nights when you weren’t wallowing in your grief, you’d been spending them with your illustrious lover. . . the stranger.

A stranger who distracted you, but you would not have had it any other way.

It was the first face since your husband's passing, that held such a place in your heart.

The first face that didn’t feel like a betrayal.

Even if he was a stranger, you hoped he didn’t leave your life anytime soon.

So you danced for him.

Wherever he may be, you danced each night for him.

You used to dance for a stranger, but now you could proudly dance for the moon.

Your moon.

[girlreviews]

Review #184: She’s So Unusual, Cyndi Lauper

You’re receiving a fair warning right at the outset: there are going to be no less than two references to The Simpsons in this review – possibly more -- and I’m not even a little bit sorry about it.

I think that Cyndi Lauper is one of the very first female artists I ever knew the name of and recognized, and knew her record from start to finish. I don’t think it was this one. I believe it was a compilation CD called Twelve Deadly Cyns… And Then Some, that had a really striking image of her with bright yellow hair and a bright red hat. It had all of the major hits from this album, and the next few, as well as the most interesting remix of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun that was done by the guys from Redbone, and was very much my first introduction to the bassline from Come And Get Your Love. That shit worked.

Anyway, I wish that every three-year-old girl got to hear Cyndi Lauper like this because she’s fucking iconic. Powerhouse voice. Uninhibited. Artist. Creative genius. A girl’s girl and a woman’s woman. I’d love to get drunk with her and play a round of cards. I bet she’s been treated like a child while navigating this industry. I just feel it in my bones and guts. Because of the earnest, girlish, sincere, whimsical music she’s making, as well as her unapologetic cute and girly aesthetic and small frame. But she’s always demanded to be taken seriously. She’s the inspiration I’ve carried around as an experienced professional in my field: I can have a bubble tea pencil case with a smiley face on it, and cute stationary, and a notepad with a bird on it, and a cute haircut and fun outfits. It doesn’t mean I’m childish, or any less good at my job, and I will rip you a new asshole if you fucking cross me or any of my employees, cool? Do not be fooled by the enamel pins on my jacket. I could stab you with them if I wanted. I just don’t, that’s all.

My notes: Money Changes Everything, which it does, has a harmonica solo in it, and I think we all need to take a moment and bow down to the boldness of that. How many harmonica solos do we hear outside something like Bob Dylan? It’s pretty few and far between and it’s really fucking great in this song. Every single track on this album is deep, fun, and interesting. And some of them have harmonica solos! When I was a doofy little teen, I used to have a necklace with a tiny harmonica on it. It was ugly as could be, but it was pretty cool. I recently started looking into whether there were any cute, adult versions of it. There are. And I am once again inspired by Saint Cyndi to be cute, functional, and badass.

I’m going to save Girls Just Wanna Have Fun for last because I have so much to say about it. So next up will be Time After Time, which to be honest is every bit as iconic. Genuinely. It’s absolutely beautiful. Stunning. Moving. How does one write a song so incredibly poignant and dedicated to someone? Can anybody listen to this synth ballad and not just feel their heart plunge into it? Maybe they can. Maybe they’re a monster. Not a Simpsons reference, but to illustrate my point: even April Ludgate, known to be cold-hearted and dead inside, can’t resist the pull of this song.

She Bop is one of my favorites. I think I loved it when I was really tiny. It makes sense that I would have. I loved nonsense. I still love nonsense. It’s a lot of nonsense (Oop, she bop, she bop, she bop, he bop, we bop, I bop, you bop, they bop, be bop, a lu bop), but it’s positioned over some very serious-sounding synths and electric drums. That’s my exact shit and always has been. There’s a good chance Cyndi Lauper and this song are largely responsible for my entire persona, in hindsight. That’s fine with me. I think this song is about bad boys and having crushes on them (hey, hey they say I better get a chaperone, because I can’t stop messin’ with the danger zone). Cyndi Lauper has always been completely about her uninhibited noises. Woops, and breaths, and squeaks, and squawks. They’re amazing, and they add absolutely everything to the experience. Simpsons reference #1 coming up here. They made it the butt of the joke, but I loved it. Cyndi Laupi (yes, Laupi), singing the National Anthem at a baseball game, with all that breathy, squeaky, baritone nonsense. Absolutely fucking hilarious. Also the way in which I mostly learned the words to the National Anthem (you try knowing it when you grew up in Europe? I do not accept your judgment, and frankly I’m still pretty shaky on the words and I don’t care).

Every track on this album slaps, and you should listen to it, but it is one of those where you kind of have to focus on the singles/iconic tracks because they are iconic for a reason. So here we go. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. I want to say that this song is so happy and upbeat and means everything to every girl and woman that knows it, which, is like, all of them, ever, and if it isn’t, it should be. However. There’s also a sad undertone to it, or at least I have always felt one. It’s always just tugged at my heart a little bit. I actually have no idea whether that’s just me or whether that’s a universal experience. It’s like a gentle feminist wish. She’s singing about oppressive experiences — from parents, from partners, from society:

“Oh Mama dear, we’re not the fortunate ones”

“Oh Daddy dear, you know you’re still number one”

“Some boys take a beautiful girl, and hide her away from the rest of the world”

It genuinely hurts my feelings. I’m not sure a song has ever so captured the simplicity of experience. Just trying to exist. Just trying to walk in the sun. Just trying to go home and chill after work, and for some reason, it’s just hard to do. But, in singing it, she’s fulfilling the wish, because she’s having fucking fun. It’s fun. I don’t know man, that’s really cool. I love this song. But it’s way deeper than I imagine a lot of people have ever given her credit for. I imagine to a lot of people, it’s just a silly little party song. But it’s not. And if you want to fight with me about that, I’ll get my cute enamel pins ready. Here’s Homer Simpson singing it, which I have always found extremely endearing. Do you think it’s lost on him? Probably. That’s sort of what’s endearing about it.

[thriveonanonymity]

Okay I have some thoughts about the vengence saga. Unfiltered through thoughts, just what I think about it after only a few listens (like less than a dozen.

This is going to be a long one.

The first half slaps quite a bit; The voice of Calypso is great, Troy is always a pleasure to hear and the writing fits them just as well as it did in wisdom and circe sagas respectfully.

Ballads like 'I'm not sorry for loving you' are songs that take me some time to get warm to, so i want say much about it.

Dangerous is a little slowed and burdened by the intro; if it were a musical and the albums we got were a soundtrack, I would cut the song to begin basically after the ody intro (though that would be just a bit difficult because it follows exactly into hermes' parts). It feels somewhat expositiony and isnt written as well as it could have been? I might be wrong here, thing is, it just doest sit with me well writing wise. Soon as Troy enters stage, Dangerous goes HARD. The back half of dangerous slaps incredibly, no notes. Big fan of ody's verse too. and oh my god the livestream animatic. ody fighting monsters and hermes is there just DANCIN, my boy

Now charybdis feels like a transitional song a lot, which is okay. One that is more exposition than anything. Shit you need to talk about and set up; youre gonna have those in a 40 song musical. For a transitional song its quite cool, though its kind of hard for me to say much else on it. The instrumental shift at the end just as posiedon arrives feels damn right.

Get in the water is amazing. I dont like how some limes are timed though, 'ruthlessness / is mercy upon / ourselves' is an obvious as a way to chop it, but i feel like the vocal riffs on it couldve been made a bit more interesting, it feels a bit disjointed, and that might be the point. I might be wrong here, im not much of a musician. Now why he timed the lines delivered by the dead like he did i do not know, i dont like it. It just doesnt fit the timescale of the instrumentation. I might be obviously incorrect to someone more musically aligned, but thats what i see. If i am correct, it might be so off to serve the narrative, monster and all. To show that these calls from the dead aren't here to help him, basically, they're here to haunt him, which would be my first interpretation if the lines were more coherent. If it was more coherent, i would read it the same way i read the baby tele flashback in god games. But that NOT being the message, the dead NOT giving him the resolve to go on, it just doesnt really work with the lyrics for the upcoming anime battle i feel. Im starting to ramble so ill move on.

Six hundred strike is very cool. Except for about a half second when he screams his attack name, that goody enough to take me out of the story, and that aint good, and the last lines post torture. Firstly, i love the fact that we come straight in with electric guitars, you can tell that cunning ody ain't fucking around. The battle itself is very epic, very grand, again, except for the 'six hundred strike'. Like. Horge. Mr. Jalapeño. What does that even fucking mean. I would get it if there was a line previously that was like "for every pain you caused" but like. Even then. It ought be plural. It just feels incredibly goofy and incongruous with the otherwise epic battle. Moving on. Torturing an immortal scene is always aweosme, and the execution is very good, ody's screams are very nice indeed. Vocals convey emotion quite well here, from both Jorge and Steven. The one thing i DO have a problem with is how they handled the last few lines. I understand what they are intended to do, and they do that, but they don't do the idea justice. It could have been made LESS like a piece of exposition, and i wish it was.

Generally i liked it??? I guess?????? Im not sure. Im not as dead hyped as i was after underworld or circe, but underowlrd is an act finale, and circe has me biased as it has some of my top songa from the musical so far. Vengance hits a little weak compared to wisdom, but that might be that i didnt have time to really proccess it. I felt similarly about underworld when it first released, to a lesser degree, but still. Maybe ill get around to it.

Also not a single beloved character died horribly.

Im disappointed, captain.

[translatemunson]

track two — the ex tapes

warnings: not proofread. this is not a fluff series, so be ready for some angst and angry characters.

author's note: thanks for the love on track one! also, i'm creating a taglist for the series, so let me know if you want to be tagged on track three!

series masterlist

What were the odds of walking into the studio and finding your famous ex boyfriend? He doesn’t even like pop music. How the hell?

You should’ve known that you were walking into a trap when your manager told you it was an impossible to miss opportunity to explore new genres of music. But you should’ve known better that LA was smaller than Hawkins. And that, one day, you would find yourself face to face with Edward Munson.

You can’t hear what people are saying at the entrance, you’re already leaving and never looking back. To hell with the good opportunity for your career. To hell with working for Corroded Coffin. You rather work on a stupid store than write with Munson.

You open the trunk of your car and throw your guitar case there. Your journal is full of drafts of ideas you’ve crafted while in traffic. But you want it all gone and buried deep inside your bag.

“Hey, Charlie, wait!” Eddie is running in your direction, but you couldn’t care less about him. You’re just glad he’s not calling you by your real name. “Please, let’s talk.”

You get inside your car in no time. You turn the engine on and begs for the stupid car to heat up as fast as possible. You need to get the fuck out of there.

“C’mon, let’s talk.” He’s closing the distance between the two of you.

“Fuck you, Munson. No, I’m not helping you with the thing that destroyed our relationship.”

You put the car in reverse and leave the parking lot without looking back. The streets to your apartment are blurry in your mind, the anger mixing with the pain, and you only register you’re at home when you open the door and it’s greeted by a very lazy Steve.

“Edward Munson booked me to write a song for his shitty little band” you announce, throwing your bag on the kitchen table and taking your shoes off.

“Edward Munson in like Eddie the freak Munson?” Instantly Steve is up on his feet and walking towards you.

“The one and only.” You press your palms to your face. 

“Why you?” Steve knows the reason why you mostly work for the pop music field. Because even though the synthesizers and catchy melodies aren’t your thing, it’s better than working with your ex.

“Because I’m the ballad songwriter of the moment. I forgot to add Corroded Coffin on my Never Working With list, fuck me,” it’s all your fault. You might not know with which artist you’re working until you arrive at the studio, but your manager knows and keeps some of them out of your schedule. Sorry, she can’t work with you right now, but we’ll look forward to another opportunity. “My manager told me it was a good opportunity, but I just can’t!”

“Don’t do it. Or like if you want to I could take another day off and go with you. I’ll make sure to kick Munson’s ass.” Steve owns this small cafe a few blocks from your apartment. He works there most of the time, but always takes some days off to relax. Today is one of those days and you wish he was working.

“No, I’m cancelling it. Fuck him and his stupid band, I’m not getting in a studio with him.” Your body falls into the couch. “Stupid Munson.”

“Ok, it’s your call. Fancy some tea?”

“Yes, please.”

Steve is your best friend. He was there when Eddie left everything behind, including you. He knew you would do anything possible to not see Eddie’s face again, but there you are, reality happening right before your eyes. He sits next to you and holds you in an awkward hug — because you’re holding your legs to your chest and hiding your face. 

Your tea gets cold. The moment you get out of your position, Steve is leaving the house to have a night out. He got your acoustic guitar from your car because he knows you’re gonna end up locked in your room writing new songs. That’s how you process your feelings.

You get some leftovers from the week, a bottle of wine and your cold tea. You refuse to let this nightmare get the best of you. So you write your heart out until you hear the phone ring. You hope it’s not Steve calling you to ask for a ride because you’re down 3 glasses of wine and driving is the last thing you wanna do.

You walk over and answer the phone.

“I’m not giving you a ride, I am-”

“Hi, sweetheart. Can we talk?”

You’re killing whoever gave your number to him. 

“Wrong number, asshole. Never call me again.”

You hang up on him and go back to your room. Pages and more pages of your feelings. You might need to find an artist to sing about it, but you do not care. You wanna drag Edward Munson in the mud because of everything he did to you. He must’ve found out you are Charlie, because there’s no way someone booked a pop songwriter for a rock band.

The phone rings again. 

“Hello?”

“Please, don’t hang up,” Eddie asks. “It’s just a business call, I promise.”

“How did you get my number?”

“Does it matter, sweetheart?” He pauses. “So, business. I can schedule a studio tomorrow morning.”

“No, Munson, I’ve told you: not working with you. Can’t you get a no for an answer?” You wish you had brought the wine glass with you.

“No, I can’t. How did you end up on songwriting? I thought you were going to college to study biology.”

“Chemistry,” you correct him. “I’ve given a song I wrote to a singer I was seeing back in Chicago, he recorded it and my name was on the credits. The song was a huge success and the next thing I know I’m moving to Los Angeles to write for other people. Why do you care?”

“And how’s that been going for you?”

“I can pay my rent and I’m saving up to leave this country. Canada, Europe perhaps. Last time I was in Hawkins I saw Wayne,” you remember the encounter with Eddie’s uncle. You were both in the same market and he called you from the end of the aisle. He looked better than the last time, and said his cousin bought him a house. “Have you visited him?”

“No, I haven’t. Been busy with writing the album and touring. But he’s coming to LA soon, I bet he would like to see you.”

“Don’t.” You stop him. “Don’t act like it’s all fine. And only a few people back in Hawkins know about Charlie Roger.”

“Who? Robin? Nancy? Steve?”

They were the ones who encouraged you to keep writing, to try to be a singer yourself, but you just couldn’t. Nancy and Robin are coming to visit you and Steve in a few weeks and you can’t wait to try to convince them to move to LA again. The gang back together. Or at least most of it.

“They know, yes. But to everyone else it is like I’ve left everything behind because of what happened.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I really am.”

“I don’t wanna hear your excuses, Munson. State your purpose or I’m hanging up on you.”

“I wanna work with you.” He’s quick to answer you. But you can imagine him, on the other side of the line, holding his face and staring at some of the most beautiful views of the city. “Even before I knew you are Charlie, I found your lyrics really good. I mean, Charlie’s lyrics. I still loved your poems tho. I’ve been doing fine on my own for, what, 3 records now, but I need some help to finish this one. One song is all I’m asking.”

“No, I can’t. Sorry, Eddie. Goodbye.”

“Good night, sweetie.”

He hangs up before you can. 

It’s gonna be a hell of a night.

taglist: @lokiofasgard616

(message me/coment here if you wanna be tagged on future updates of the series)

[snicketsquadron]

VFD Is fundamentally voluntary

I know it’s a lot of fun in the ASOUE fandom to point out the sinister nature of VFD as an organization. The books themselves make a point of how no person is purely good or evil, and people can be pushed into all sorts of actions by circumstances. That being said, I think it can kind of flatten the point to argue that the VFD recruitment process is kidnapping/indoctrination in the same way that the snow scouts being kidnapped by eagles is. And I recently reread the Unauthorized Autobiography so here are some quotes:

A lot of folks will quote “The Little Snicket Lad” but the point of that chapter is that the lyrics are inaccurate.

“The cheesemakers...remain very close associates of my entire family.” Given that this was Valorous Farms Dairy, and the dairy is written to directly or mentioned in several future letters by the Snicket siblings and others, it seems likely that the cheesemakers were and remained VFD members.

“As part of my work with the heroes of this ballad, I often have to deliver secret information” VFD referred to as heroic. (You can, of course, disagree with Lemony)

“I was far past crawling on the day in question” Less of a voluntary take but more of a factual note, as people often interpret that Lemony was recruited as an infant.

Now the quote: “My mother asked the same question when she came home that fateful day and found waiting for her not three young children but one worried husband and two half-full cups of tea” is concerning. But it should be considered in the context of a later section.

Regarding the lyrics “One evening Jake was chopping wood/And his wife was at the mill” Snicket writes:

“This is more or less accurate, much to my mother’s dismay, who always wished that she had delayed her investigation one more day, so she could have been at home that day to say goodbye. My brother insists that he was allowed to finish his tea before departure”

So the Snicket parents were worries/dismayed, but not because they thought their children were kidnapped. They were already aware that their children were to be taken, and just wanted to be around when it happened. Given that his mother was investigating a mill and the Valorous Farms Dairy association mentioned above, it seems reasonable they were volunteers themselves.

Furthermore, Snicket notes he was able to visit his parents “rarely”, which may still be sinister to some people, but is hardly the often-implied total sequestering.

This exchange is small but important:

R: R’s right. We are entering people’s homes- J: We get permission first

And from Nero’s letter regarding K’s recruitment of two children at Prufrock Prep:

“Like all orphans, the two kidnapped brats were so stupid that they didn’t even look scared as Ms. K. carried them away. Their faces were very serious, as if they were embarking on an important mission of some kind.”

And finally, there’s the recruitment script itself, which follows three steps:

“What was that noise?” “Nothing”

According to Snicket, the parents saying “nothing” is already coded, as there is never nothing outside. So this already implies permission/engagement on the part of the parents. But even if the parents do not know about VFD, or the phrases happen by accident, it is much much less likely that anyone would completely by coincidence say the third phrase:

If there’s nothing out there then what was that noise?

Which signals listening volunteers that it’s safe to act. (This is also why it’s significant that Lemony was not an infant at the time of recruitment. All VFD volunteers recruited this way make a conscious choice to consent to recruitment.

Now, of course, in the real world children can’t legally consent or make binding contracts. But that gets into Doylist arguments, and this book series at a Doylist level is written for kids, so depicts children as full moral and intelligent agents who can make independent decisions.