#i do want to b that person one day tho

[synthetic-sonata]

one day i'll be the one rping the canon character in an incidental oc/canon relationship that started due to shitpost rps or jokes But by god that day is not near canon characters are fucking scary to rp

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[suprsingr]

I have never in all my life had so many emotions about a tumblr poll but oh my GOD I'm so happy Garak won, lmao. That was so tense.

[seasons-of-death]

some of my best friend rafe cameron headcanons

warning: nsfw, minors dni!! my brain is just best friend rafe brainrot i'm so down bad for him <333 these are some headcanons i have for the best friend rafe blurbs and fics i've been writing !!! the sfw and nsfw headcanons are separated by the divider :)

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ SFW ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

ʚɞ you've been best friends since childhood. he'd do anything for you.

ʚɞ spoils the hell out of you. he'd do ANYTHING to make you happy, buys you all the things you want, you text him that you're having a bad day BOOM there's three hundred dollars in your bank account.

ʚɞ whenever you're on your period he comes over with all your favorite things and reluctantly cuddles you (but grumbles about it) even though you know he secretly likes it.

ʚɞ he can't stand it when you're ignoring him. spams you with texts and calls. sometimes you block him and he deadass shows up behind your door begging for forgiveness and then fucks you until you cry <3

ʚɞ also whenever you're mad at him for some dumbass shit he does (bc let's face it he's a grade a dumbass sometimes) he thinks he can bribe his way out of it but you're just like ... bitch please.

ʚɞ the thing between you started when you drunkenly confessed to him that no guy had ever made you have an orgasm and you could only get off when you were on your own... and rafe was determined to change that (and he did. multiple times that night and the morning after.)

ʚɞ bought you a locket with his initial on the back (on the inside there's a a pic of you two kissing in a photobooth as well as one of you as children.)

ʚɞ you bought a watch for him for his birthday and he wears it every single day. your initials are carved in the back.

ʚɞ has a folder on his phone full of pictures you took together, and of pictures of you. password-protected.

ʚɞ sometimes you read to him and it drives him INSANE. he could listen to your voice for hours and hours on end.

ʚɞ you had always thought he wasn't a relationship person and that's why he didn't want to be official, so when he started dating sofia you had such a bitch fit. wouldn't talk to him for weeks. he tried everything, bribing you, showing up to your house... but eventually you caved in and you guys started fooling around behind her back (against the mirror) and although he feels kinda bad for cheating he just can't resist you.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ NSFW ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

ʚɞ pet names. pet names. PET NAMES!!! his go-to are princess, angel, and bunny. one time you called him daddy during sex and he almost blew his load.

ʚɞ loves going raw and coming in you. makes him feel like you belong to him and only him <3 literally had you go on birth control bc you were getting sick of having to get plan b because he was conveniently out of condoms every time you fooled around and he swears he just "accidentally" came in you when he said he'd pull out. you made him promise that he wouldn't go raw with anyone else tho and he doesn't.

ʚɞ really likes missionary bc he loves to see your face when you come it drives him INSANE how pretty you look taking him.

ʚɞ giving him head whenever he's stressed or having a bad day. he returns the favor tho <3

ʚɞ loves taking his time with you but also really likes rushed, messy quickies whenever you're busy.

ʚɞ one time you guys were hanging out with mutual friends and when your dress hiked up, he could see that you'd written his initial on your thigh and it took everything in him to not take you into the nearest bathroom and fucking the hell out of you ... instead he did that right after you two left xxx.

ʚɞ literally takes you to buy lingerie... ON HIS BIRTHDAY... and you try them all out for him later that night and he gets to be the one to take them off. accidentally rips one of the panties he bought for you but he orders a new pair right after <3

ʚɞ chokes you. nuf said.

ʚɞ your phone's wallpaper is actually a pic of his hand around your neck that he took with his signature ring on his finger.

ʚɞ whenever you see him out and about with sofia you accidentally send him a pic of you in lingerie. then you see his eyes widen and later that night he fucks you so hard you leave actual clawmarks on his back.

ʚɞ sometimes he leaves bruises on you, and even though he feels bad about it afterwards it also turns him on like CRAZY. he loves marking you up, and sometimes you end up with hickeys and your friends question where they came from and you just shrug. to them, he's just some mystery hook-up, but they have no idea it's your best friend.

ʚɞ you sometimes let him record you during sex and he watches the videos of you whenever he misses you. has a whole password-protected folder in his phone of your nudes and videos you took together.

[soobnny]

dating him | hwang hyunjin

❝ i’ve never seen anything quite like you, my love ❞

chan | lee know | changbin | HYUNJIN | han | felix | seungmin | jeongin

hopeless romantic hwang hyunjin

love is beautiful and brilliant hwang hyunjin

yall cannot convince me that he isn’t the BIGGEST lover

romance is in his blood

he is so fascinated by it

so, for that reason, i feel like dating him would be like the love you read about or watch in movies

bc hyunjin would b the type to consume so much of romantic media

it’s where he learned everything from

wow what a dream

he strikes me as the type to fall in love with every little thing too

his eyes is just a lens of romance

and it’s set on YOU

every single love language he has it .. but here are some specifics

love language #1 gift giving

hyunjin is a traveler okay

and in every trip, he always has something to give you

keychains, t-shirts, bags, jewelry, stickers, refrigerator magnets, pins, you name it

even u have to remind him not to go all out sometimes

bc when that boy splurges, he SPENDS

esp for u ? he would spoil u in a heartbeat

he always makes sure he leaves a day of his travels dedicated to u and thinking about u

on that note, he tends to buy u guys matching items

matching phone cases, matching rings, matching scrunchie

whatever u can get that’s matching

he WILL get it

it excites him too

he loves being able to tell the world how in love he is

wait side note

whenever he’s traveling, he’s always just instinctively thinking about you

he buys this bagel for breakfast, oh ???? like hey guys yn loves bagels too

and the boys r like WE KNOWWWW 😭

everything is about u quite literally

ok continuing on

and he gifts u his art too

his art is very important to him

and he has found lately, u are the one person littering his sketch books

oh he’s down bad

i think for ur anniversary, he’d paint the constellations of how the stars looked that night and aligned perfectly

or his favorite picture of you

down bad that he also buys u a shit ton of dresses

and lingerie ………….

look he knows his fashion

he knows what looks great

u can’t blame him for buying what he knows will look so pretty on you

(he’d probably give u his card one time and say “go crazy” like wow he’s packed)

#2 quality time

i think his favorite dates would also be expensive

he just can’t help himself

BUT u know he has a sweet spot for self care dates too

spa days are very important to him

loves being able to relax and unwind with u

he especially loves when u play with his hair and when u paint his nails

one time, u caught him stealing one of your nail polishes

would also be the type to bring some bit of you in his travels

like ur perfume or ur shampoo

anything that’ll remind him of u

tho ur scent is his favorite

hence why he goes for perfumes or soap or shampoos bc u feel closer to him this way

he just loves being with u even if both of u are doing nothing

just like that bruno major song

conversations where u lose track of time

conversations as in talking shit about the people you hate together

😭😭😭😭

i think he’d want to paint with u

he’d be so shy to ask you too

just simple things

that cute date idea where you swap paintings every 5 mins or something

when u showed him that tiktok, he jumped in excitement

he wanted to do it right away

he prepares everything

he has both ur paintings framed in his room

it’s his most prized posession

oh, and he always invites u to game nights with the boys

he is SO competitive at monopoly

he couldn’t give two shits about other games

u don’t know why he gets so worked up with monopoly

“SEUNGMIN DONT DO IT SEUNGMIN!!!!”

it’s actually rly funny

he would be the type to take revenge

“you’re gonna regret buying a house there”

would cheer if his friends go to jail in the game or if they go bankrupt

doesn’t even try to hide it

and if he’s playing as the banker, he’d slip in extra bills for you

#3 words of affirmation

tho usually said when he thinks u’re asleep

he’s thankful that u take care of him when he forgets to

esp when he’s so immersed in his art

he whispers words of love

like poets and authors in books

he is just so full of love i can’t say it enough

physical touch except instead of touch, he loves kissing you

LIPS AND NECK ESPECIALLY

those are his top 2

he uses tongue 😕 sorry to break it to u

and he also leaves hickeys

so don’t run out of concealer okay!!!!!!! bc he tends to leave like a lot

before i end

here r some more dates he loves

botanical gardens

he’d pick a flower and place it behind your ear

now it’s his lockscreen

sunday markets

he loves the domesticity of shopping together

he buys u lots of flowers

every single type

u think he’s given u all types already

there is never a day where ur apartment doesn’t have flowers in a vase

bc as soon as the first sign of death arrives, he’s off to buy u new ones

he strikes me as the type to also go all out for valentines

hyunjin would send u mounts of chocolates and flowers

take u out to the fanciest date

u get to try new food and cuisines bc of him!

might even buy plane tickets so u two could travel together

maaaaaaaan just treasure everything

a love like hyunjin’s is hard to come by

note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! let me know what you think! please discuss these with me i’m crazy

[fairyhaos]

how seventeen act with their writer s/o

requested by anon ^^

masterlist

seungcheol

he is begging. he is on his knees BEGGING you to pls let him buy you a new laptop because the one you use is literally on its last legs and makes ominous sputtering n whirring sounds like a dying cat stuck in a vent every time you start it up. you don't let him tho bc “no cheol the memories :(((“ cuz you've had it for years but he is nearing the end of his tether and who knows. in a few days ur laptop may mysteriously disappear forever and you'll be forced to let him buy a new one

jeonghan

he's like the pet cat you don't own who likes to slink into the room and make inquisitive noises as he watches you work. drapes himself over your shoulders and makes distressed huffs when you try to dislodge him. he's never usually noticeably clingy, but when you try to write, the clinginess always springs out and you can't go five minutes without jeonghan poking his head into the room to check up on you and see what you're up to

joshua

your biggest fan. buys every single novel you write, puts on his glasses, and reads them very seriously in one go on the very evening it's released with the lamp on beside him. he looks so serious every time, but he'll always peer at you over his glasses and then give you a big grin, telling you how much he loves it. gets you to sign a copy for him and brags to everyone he knows that he has your signed novels with special messages just for him that no one else can have

junhui

he's your personal general knowledge bank. when you're searching up obscure things and slowly losing hope on finding an answer, just ask junhui and he'll either a) know the answer or b) knows someone who knows someone else who knows someone else else who knows the answer. don't ask him how to spell words tho bc he's like. hopelessly bad. blinks at you going “what's an [insert word]” before you give up and google it yourself

hoshi

alwaysssss wants to know what you're working on right now. gets all whiny when you get possessive of your work and refuse to show him before it's finished bc come on, it's surely perfect already, why are you trying to hide it from him?? loves helping you do, like, the non writing stuff. writing out plot? nooo. building fantasy maps, figuring out political systems, getting lost on a tangent on figuring out the price of beans in the 1800s? hell yeah sign him up!!! 

wonwoo

knows all the grammar rules in the world. you can ask him stuff like “hey wonwoo can i put a comma here or no” and he'll amble over to peer over your shoulder and tell you whether you can or cannot, in fact, put a comma there. helps you curate all your writing playlists for the different moods you have. gently reminds you to get back to writing whenever you end up scrolling on instagram for too long

woozi

you're even more of a workaholic than he is when in the zone, so he gets to realise how unhealthy it is to be sat in front of a computer for hours straight with no break. you get to act as each other's “let's act like a normal human being now” reminders, depending on which of you is going through a work fixation. you guys both go on runs together in the mornings even though it kills you bc at least it gets both of yo brains kickstarted to spend a day being all creative in ur respective fields

minghao

you value his opinion above anyone else's. above your beta reader's, above your agent's, even above your editor's bc those are more like advice, not opinions. but knowing that minghao likes your work, and knowing which parts in particular he really likes, is so important to you because ultimately, you want the person you love to also love the things that you create. 

mingyu

brings up the fact that you're a writer in every conversation he has with anyone ever. “oh my god look, this menu has writing on it. speaking of writing, my s/o writes actual books as a job!!!!”. your agent made him sign a contract similar to an NDA bc he just keeps yapping about your books even when they haven't been released yet. loves the noises you make whilst you're writing. thinks it's the cutest thing ever when you make overjoyed “AHA!!” sounds when you finally realise what the plot is doing

dokyeom

more than willing to be your rubber duck and let you talk at him until u figure out your own plot holes. he could be in his room scrolling on his phone but the minute you call for him, he's leaping up and bounding over to you and pulling up a chair in an instant, more than willing to let you bounce ideas off him. sits there doing nothing but looking all pretty as you talk at him and work out the tangle you've gotten yourself into. beams and gives you a big kiss when you manage to figure it all out. 

seungkwan

he buys you a biiiig wheely whiteboard and a bunch of coloured board pens to help you plot your novels. when you get stuck, he comes over and stares at the board with his hands on his hips, very gravely considering your dilemma and what would be the best way to get you out of it. you two talk about plot holes like it's the most serious thing in the world and he just nods like a proud father once you both find a solution

vernon

at this point he's like. a professional tea and coffee and biscuits supplier due to the amount of snack runs he does for you. has walked in on you lying face down on the floor during a meltdown one too many times to bat an eye anymore. also great at helping you block out actions during scenes like. he's the perfect doll. lets you maneuver him into the weirdest positions in the world with zero complaints. he just loves helping you however he can, really. 

chan

reads through your drafts whilst you're in the middle of writing, accidentally gets hooked and is begging you every day to finish the novel bc he really wants to know what happens next. he's the best at spotting inconsistencies and plot holes in ur writing so before you even send it off to your beta reader, he gets to have his hands on the manuscript to check for any changes needed. also bc he needs to read the ending asap otherwise he'll probably combust. 

request guidelines

reactions tags: @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @wonranghaeee @yonabutnotyuna @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @odxrilove @kyeomyun @chansburgah @pepperonijem @jeonride @kellesvt @kikohao @astrozuya @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @starshuas @all-american-fangirl @f1uffyjun @sea-moon-star @nonononranghaee @isabellah29 @mcu-incorrect @hrts4hanniehae @suraandsugar @pan-de-seungcheol @dokyeomkyeom @melodicrabbit @bananabubble

[haveihitanerve]

Cassandra Cain is the biggest fucking Daddys Girl in the world, she is the only one, besides Dick Grayson, who understands the things Bruce says and does as caring and wanting to bond or be a better father instead of thinking hes being overbearing or annoying (even tho he is being annoying but she recognizes he loves her/all of them and just wants to protect them and doesnt think theyre unworthy by doing it) She is an unapologetic Batman fan and constantly wears his merch and rants (in sign language or otherwise) about how amazing he is and how good a person he is and how Gotham is better off with him than without and Bruce panics and is like "cass baby girl i love you but please stop posting seven page long essays about how much you love me, someone might find out i am batman" but Cass never listens because she just loves her dad so much and no one can take that from her and shes the one who smacks jason upside the head when he goes on rants about B and shes the one who holds damians hand and whispers translations in his ear when bruce is going on an angry, panic induced rant after he disapeared for three days and bruce was worried god damn it not pissed off that robin didnt go on patrol and yeah. just good daughter cassandra cain, the biggest fucking batman/bruce wayne fangirl in the world with her good dad bruce wayne.

[acid-ixx]

Dear author,

I love your batfam series SO MUCH. I like the way you describe the feelings, how you use the words, how the depression of Y/N was shown, and the thinking of Batfam when they realize that Y/N had been heavily neglectful. Every time I read this series again, I still feel the hurtful of it and it actually makes me cry a lot T.T. And I love that feeling. And the series makes me want to draw, even though I’m not good at drawing.

The first panel, I draw Y/N in my thoughts ( sorry if you feel uncomfortable) and Conner. This one is inspired from a manga called “ Veil”.

The second one, I draw some scenes from chapter 3 (I tried to draw the ways Y/N calmed themselves down, but I couldn’t 😭).

From your series, I’ve thought about ABO au, where Y/N is a beta, they can’t be marked ; so the yanderes ( romantic one) are more yandere, because they know that Y/N never belong to anyone.

Last thing to say, I VERY VERY VERY LOVE your batfam series and this is one of the greatest fics of Batfam I’ve ever read. I also very admire your hardworking and your inspiration about this series. But I hope that you also stay healthy because I saw that you’re very productive ( how you can write so fast but still focus on the details TvT). No words can reveal the love in my heart to your series.

Sorry if I either bother you or my bad grammar ( English not my native language, this is also the first time I do this ). Thank you so much because spending your time reading this piece of mine. I just want to express my feelings and thoughts about your fic. Hope you have a good day!!!<333333

— masterlist !

a/n: the topic of a/b/o is written under this post. anyways, this comic panel is so absolutely brilliant and breathtaking omg... i love all the thoughts u have compiled here and i'm so sorry I wasn't able to reply to this quick enough 😭 but i appreciate this sm !! "even tho im not good at drawing" YET U SENT ME THIS !! i absolutely love everything about this don't say ur not good at drawing bec u are 😡

so like i said, don't be sorry if u draw the reader as female bec i portrayed them as gn so anyone can interpret them as any gender and it doesn't make me uncomfortable at all as long as i'm the one not being misgendered. anyways, veil is actually one of my fave mangas and if u ask me, i could say your relationship with conner is pretty much akin to that of veil's! which means conner is very touchy-feely with you and is uncaring of their status as a wayne and would rather... have you take his last name very soon, if you know what i mean hehe.

the second scene is absolutely heartbreaking even for me, especially the panel where your mom tries to comfort you by telling you it's all alright made my heart ache real badly because that's probably the last time you have experienced; the love of a parent that's soon taken away from you. your mom's last words would be reassurance, one that both comforts and disturbs you as the memory repeats itself over and over in you head like a broken record </3

and the abo au, for me personally (tho i never have written for it) is just going to threaten more angst with your family because not even your pack is willing to take you in and care for you. despite your hopes due to being a beta unlike your family who are comprised of strong alphas and resilient omegas, you are merely average in their eyes probably, average enough to be forgotten and discarded by a pack you had thought would take you in for you must be a misfit just like them.

yet despite the pain you had to endure for feeling unloved as a beta, it would also deepen your potential with conner as your love interest because although you could never be claimed by any past sweethearts, conner would always, and i mean always make a show that he loves you in a deeper, more symbolical way. he may not be able to mark you as your alpha, but a ring and an always protective hold on your waist paired with his scent and pheromones engraved into every piece of your clothing is enough to tell everyone to "fuck off, this one's mine."

and tysm for loving my fanfic 😭 even tho i have written it impulsively, look where it got now !! yes i am very productive but this is a mere product of my attention span and hyperfixations towards the dc storyline and no my health is very bad but trust me it's not from writing, it's more from me just being very ill every single day but im trying to take care of myself <33

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[crosbyism]

"but then again this is the guy who’s publically known for loving to eat ass so"

I'm sorry, I thought Nate eating ass was fanon. Are you telling me this is an actual canon fact??

god i love when people don’t realise how much “fanon” around sid and nate is actually canon. it’s like heroin to me. also bc it’s like. 90% of the stuff in fics (which is probably why people assume it’s fanon but. oh boy it’s not. there’s shockingly little fanon around these two, mostly because canon is so abundant).

yes, nathan mackinnon is a known ass-eater. let me direct you to this post, anon. you’re welcome.

other nate (and sid) facts you might not have realised are canon:

nate is a known advocate for therapy. he’s been seeing a sports therapist since 2017

they wear matching clothing all the fucking time, sid has said publicly that he started wearing white sneakers and updated his wardrobe due to nate’s influence (iirc nate might’ve even bought him his first pair of white sneakers? either that or it was a “he told me i need to so i did” situation). they share a tailor. unfortunately i now have to bring your attention to the fact that since they have an alarming amount of matching clothes that they’ve bought for each other, that means that they in fact have to know each other’s clothing sizes off by heart. they also low-key share clothing btw

their families celebrate canada day together and their dads are best friends. in-law behaviour goes crazy

nate did in fact stalk his way into sid’s heart (got the same personal trainer and agent at age 13; built his house next door in 2017; they’ve been spending every day in the summers together since at least 2015. sid cooks for them daily, or at least did pre-pandemic. sid refuses to use nate’s gym tho so they always use sid’s).

nate used to have a fan twitter account more or less where he rooted for the pens. it was active until 2017.

sid and nate regularly go to summer weddings together as each other’s dates. they have done this since, once again, at least 2015

nate has confirmed that he used to have a poster of sid on his wall as a teenager (he didn’t confirm he used to jerk off to it but frankly. i think that’d be saying the quiet part out loud)

when sid won the cup in 2009 and held the parade in cole harbour, nate stood by the side of the road watching it. he was about to turn 14, he was already working with sid’s trainer and agent, and he was about to start attending shattuck (sid’s junior high). due to old pics we also know that this was RIGHT before nate had his first growth spurt and hit puberty. i’m not saying seeing sid with the cup kickstarted nate’s puberty and gave him his first boner but i’m not NOT saying it

nate dated vanessa morgan of riverdale fame in his rookie year. she’s now good friends with elias petersson from the vancouver canucks (this means nothing but i do think it’s a very funny coincidence).

nate schmidt, formerly of the VGK, once failed a drug test (it turned out to be a testing-fuck-up); when nhl players were asked about it natemack iconically said “i don’t think he was sticking a needle up his ass” (i just like this one)

when he was a kid, the one other thing sid wanted to be was a hairdresser. nate, on the other hand, “didn’t have a plan B”

nate is canonically possessive of sid (see: the asg 2024) and sid is canonically delighted by this and into it

they go on so many lunch dates in the summer my dude. they go grocery shopping together. like there’s so many pics of them in grocery stores or out having coffee or weird green shakes

oh i almost forgot, they went on a roadtrip through ireland last year. they’ve been on holiday together multiple times over the years though. done some eurotripping together and stuff. in 2015 they spent three months together, three weeks of which were spent living in sid’s santa monica condo together just the two of them

sid has put up a picture of every stanley cup winning captain in his basement since 2008, when the pens lost in the scf to DET. apparently this serves as motivation for him to win the cup. he notoriously does not watch the playoffs after the pens are out

however, he partied so hard at nate’s cup party he actually closed down the party with his dad. nate is the only non-teammate sid’s ever been seen supporting for a cup run (he’s also never been to his teammates’ cup parties afaik so. there’s that)

also they talked on the phone daily and between periods during nate’s cup run. they also canonically have almost weekly phone dates that can run multiple hours. quote nate “i can’t talk to anyone else the way i can talk to him”

they each have pictures of the two of them together framed in each other’s houses

there’s rumours they’re building adjoining houses on neighbouring properties in cape breton next to a golf course bc apparently being neighbours in halifax isn’t enough or something. this one is as yet unconfirmed by reputable sources though

[crows-in-the-house]

Sinful sensation

summary: the demon brothers sensing you're feeling their sin

pairing: demon bros x reader

tw: none

Lucifer

Get's pridefull of you being praud, and will ignore the fact that it's still a sin and a sign of being full of yourself or egoistic. In his eyes you're just a silly human who deserves to feel over the top sometimes. Feeling that sensation will make him smirk, wishing to see you imiediately and messaging you a ton of compliments. You rushing to tell him what happened will only fuel his pride - obviously, his sweet little human came to tell him first.

Mammon

He will come running to you if he senses you feeling greedy. He just needs to see that, maybe take a few picturies, record that, draw it if he has to, his human is simply too cute to not memorise it in some way. He would make u a photoshoot if he could, it doesn't matter you look the same as always!

If you're already out of money, he will give you his goldie. Here, you can buy yourself something nice (he's too embarrased of his blush to see what unnecessary thing you're about to buy)

Leviathan

Will find out who made you envious and will proceed to feel envious of them. What do you mean you're thinking about those people! You are already great, pretty and so cool, and you should have been thinking about him and his games! Do you not like spending time with him?? Is it becouse of those stupid idiots?? Is he not good enough?

Your jealeusy is often short lived if you're near him. He will either cheer you up or spiral into envy which will make you the one helping.

Asmodeus

Will try to help you out whatever the sytuation is. Lucifer yelling at you making you blush? Will come running to "flirt" with him so you don't have to deal with the embarassent. Feeling highly attracted to somebody? Will try to set you two up. Wanting to feel good tonight? Will join in. Which is, of course, his favorite kind of help he offers.

Satan

Usually he will help you get calm again, for example by calling and checking up on you. If you don't answer he will just wait in his room so you can always find you yourself. Sometimes tho, when he's in a bad mood and feels his favorite human also pissed he will start making imaginary scenarios in his head. He didn't eat today, got B instead of A on a test, got scammed by Mammon, and probably his human is getting threatened by some filthy lower demons! He should kill them! He has to find you and destroy them!

Beelzebub

Belphegor

He feels as if he grew a second black hole in his stomach. In those days you never feel full or satysfied which makes him worry. You try to spend 6 hours at the gym which he allows on only if you eat, drink and rest from time to time. Accompanies you on all side quests from Diavolo that you obliged to go on. He even bought you an emergency freezer just so you don't waste the access food you bought (will also help eating that ofc). He doesn't mind helping you with your gluttony, he feels responsable for it.

He knows you've overworked in student council when feels your sloth. Every time when you had enough you start to get reluctant to work or make any effort. He just takes you home and helps you get in bed. He will make you change into pyjamas, but only because he knows how uncomfortable it is to sleep in uniform. Might also keep you well feed but dont expect him to remind you of brushing your teeth, hair or such unimportant tasks.

He's happy you get to procrastinate together. But sometimes this word slips from his mouth - and it's a wake up call you better pick up.

So, the difference between gluttony and greed (from what I've read) is that the first is more of consumerism and food wasting for your pleasure and greed is for control, money and such and for a person to desperately get higher then others. I hope I get that in well enough?

[lexirosewrites]

I've been in a funk ADHD wise so I haven't had the same inspiration I usually do🥺 let's give this a try

Steve & Robin r platonic soulmates & they're both omegas & they're gross twins with little to zero boundaries

They share the same piece of gum till it runs out of flavor, they've helped eachother build up a storage of tasteful nudes on their respective phones, when Robin had constipation Steve not only got the laxatives he held her hand in the bathroom, when Steve got food poisoning Robin not only helped him out of bed she helped him aim for the toilet or trash can, their heats r synced up in a way tht allows them to take care of eachother in turns, yes Steve taught Robin how to kiss, yes Robin taught Steve to use a knotting dildo

When Steve eventually gets kicked out of his house bc his parents want to sell it he just goes to the Buckley's with a couple of suitcases & one box bc so much of his stuff was already at their place anyway, robins parents barely blink when stobin tells them tht Steve is moving in, they all cry when Steve says he'll b changing his last name to Buckley tho

Robin graduates high school & then they're setting off for the big city so she can study linguistics & Steve can study cosmetology

When they get their degrees they decide "why the hell not?" & go to live in California bc neither of them have seen the Pacific ocean before. They end up in LA even tho the plan was San Francisco, and they both find semi fulfilling jobs. Robin works as an interpreter with various state government offices, helping individuals whose first language isn't English, taking some of the pressure off of the children in the situation

Steve finds work at a small hole in the wall salon that's been in business longer than the many fancy salons all around LA. He's doted on by the regulars, surrounding shop owners, and his coworkers. There's a small hole in the wall barber shop a few shop fronts down the street tht the salon has a friendly relationship with. On the corner is a teeny tiny burger spot that's been around since the 1920s with no changes to the menu except for price & it has the best burgers Steve & Robin have EVER had.

It's a good life, the only thing they want tht they cant give eachother is a romantic connection, but they've tried every app & no one seems to actually want a relationship or they get weird abt how close they are

Well one day a chipper female alpha wanders into the salon looking for a last minute shampoo & trim to keep her strawberry blonde waves healthy. The only person available is Steve & he does so well tht the alpha introduces herself as Chrissy & books an appointment with him for a couple of months later when she knows she'll need another trim.

Except Steve & Robin don't rlly engage with social media, they rarely watch recent shows or movies, and their taste skews between horror or romance there's no in-between. So neither is aware tht the nice female alpha Chrissy is THE Chrissy Munson, an up & coming movie star, adopted sister to Eddie Munson the lead guitar of world famous metal/rock band Corroded Coffin, and someone very fussy abt her hair.

Chrissy comes back for her next appointment & at the end she point blank asks him if he'd like to be the only person doing her hair for the next 8 months, he asks her why & she realizes he genuinely has no idea who she is, so she explains & tht she has a production filming soon & she wants him to handle hair at the end of the day to wash out all of the gunk that gets into it for filming

Steve says yes only after the salon owner & regulars tell him to say yes & tht there will b a job waiting for him when he's done

Blah blah blah

Steddie meet & fall in love then buckingham meet & fall in love

scarily close stobin is my favorite flavor! and of course all steddie needs a side helping of buckingham🥰💕💕

[nartothelar]

I just had a thought while thinking about your possession au.

So I know you posted some joke art about Ingo confronting a Zoroark acting as his (possessed) brother, but what if the Zoroark WAS trying this time.

So imagine ; Ingo with maybe Lady Sneasler and Irida walking through the Alabaster Icelands, and they get confronted with a Zoroark. It takes Emmet's form and starts terrorizing Ingo, taunting him with "You'd never hurt me!" and everything F!Emmet said before.

And Irida watches as Ingo, her cool and collected if a tad lost warden just... shrink back in fear.

Now just about any sane person would be afraid of a Zoroark, but she can tell that this is MUCH more than just that. This is *personal*. He normally never hesitates fighting Zoroarks when they take the forms of others, but this time he is terrified of hurting the man behind the illusion, and of the man himself.

Judging from everything the illusion of Emmet is shouting (even illusions and how they behave have *some* truth to them), and the way Ingo is terrified, she deduces that maybe the place or family Ingo originally came from wasn't ideal, to say the least. Ingo frantically telling Irida that he loves his supposed abuser only reaffirms her concerns.

Eventually, this becomes somewhat of an open secret among both clans that Ingo's 'man in white' is, to say the least, not good. And how is Ingo supposed to dispute that? He loves this person, and he vaguely feels protective of him, but he also feels afraid whenever he think of him.

Cue Emmet somehow getting into Hisui.

For some extra angst, he took care of his F!Emmet situation, somehow. (Maybe when they both went to Dialga to go to Hisui, he went 'wait a moment, you're not supposed to be there' and separated them)

Naturally, when Irida finds out that the man in white is actually here, she panics. Everyone tries to a. Keep Emmet from finding out Ingo is even here (which doesn't work, he came here KNOWING Ingo is here so he can tell everyones lying to him), b. Know Emmet's location at all times, so that c. They can steer Ingo in the opposite direction of where Emmet is, for his own safety until they can either get Emmet to go back to where he came from, or do some (incredibly biased) investigation.

Cause Sinnoh help them if Emmet IS actually as bad as they suspect, cause if he is even half as good as Ingo, then the amount of people who could potentially stop him can he counted on one hand.

Sure, he SEEMS nice if a tad intense, worrying about his brother, but who's to say he's not just a good actor?

I dunno, maybe the climax is Emmet finding Ingo but the Ingo protection squad (consisting of Irida, Sneasler, etc.) is keeping him back and throwing the not completely baseless accusations at Emmet, him saying "hey I was possessed by a future alternate version of myself, but hes gone now I swear" ("well that's awfully convenient"), and Ingo has NO IDEA what do to (cause he said that once, didn't he? He said that the thing was gone, but then it wasn't, so he has no idea if he can fully trust him or not).

OR, F!Emmet arrives still in Emmet's body and just starts tearing through everything to find Ingo. He's an unstoppable force that will not stop until he finds his brother. And he is nearly everything that Zoroark showed Irida. They are desperately trying to keep Ingo away from him, to no avail.

What're your thoughts on this? Do with all this what you want, and thanks for reading my rant.

OK SO THIS WOULDN'T BE CANON PER SAY (more like an offshoot au?) BUT SOME INTROSPECTION ->

so i might have explored this very idea in a couple of discord dms! but for the most part, yes, ingo would be very much scared of the man in white/the zoroark since his last days with emmet were very much tainted with future emmet's influence, but i wouldn't say f!emmet went so far as to abuse him - emotionally torment for sure tho. still, ingo would very much react, even with amnesia, with a sense of fear and apprehension to seeing him. mixed and very confusing feelings

when emmet does finally get to ingo in hisui in the actual au, him and his future self has actually teamed up (as the last installation suggests). that isn't to say emmet is angry at his future self (bc he is FURIOUS even now at how his future self treated ingo and made the last few weeks he had with his sibling so miserable for everyone) but they have a sort of ceasefire since they want the same thing rn

but similar to your ask, ingo doesn't react positively. he still doesn't remember much but he knows that: 1) he knows this figure and that he is someone important to him 2) does not want any harm to come to him 3) he, for the life of him, is scared of him. the clan is rightfully ultra suspicious of them and maybe puts him on watch (and maybe subjecting him to various interrogative talks to get him to explain everything) that the emmets accept without much fight -> f!emmet feeling extremely guilty for what he has done and believes he deserves the treatment/deserves to not be forgiven + emmet knows that the clan is protecting his brother and can't fault them for handling the way they do

f!emmet and emmet both have a lot of work to do if they want things to go back to the way they were, if they even can

BUT YEAH VERRRRRRRY LONG RAMBLE BUT VERRRY INTERESTING NONETHELESS SKSKK

[lolahauri]

: ̗̀➛ Shane: Smut Alphabet 🔞

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Sorry but i think the most he'd do is bring you a washcloth and cuddle you lol.

Unless you had really rough or angry sex. Then he would make sure to give you lots of kisses and verbal affection to make sure you know he still loves you, and didn't actually mean any of the degrading stuff he said.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Your ass.

You can't convince me he isn't an ass man.

He'd slap and grab your ass constantly, sometimes at very inappropriate times lol.

Would immediately get hard if you ever offered to give him an ass job.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Will cum anywhere you want and love it.

Though his personal favorite would be in your ass or down your throat.

He loves watching you swallow his cum.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Would jerk off with a pair of your used underwear if you left them in his room.

Would also send you a pic of the aftermath later.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He's one of the older men in town. I'd imagine he's had his fair share of drunk hookups and casual relationships before he moved to Pelican Town.

So, pretty experienced.

But does he know what he's doing? Eh...

If you're AMAB, i think he'd be pretty good at getting you off from the beginning, considering you have the same anatomy.

If you're AFAB though, you'd probably have to teach him what you like. I think that would be pretty hot though.

He'd probably ask you to masturbate in front of him a few times so he can see exactly how and where you like being touched.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy! Likes having that view of your ass. Plus he can spank you or pull your hair in that position too.

Cowgirl! He can't get enough of you riding him, using him like a sex toy.

Not really a position, but he LOVES throat fucking you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Not goofy, but he will mock and tease you a lot.

He thinks it's so cute seeing you get all shy and embarrassed from his words.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Same color as his hair, pretty thick and curly.

When he's single he doesn't trim at all.

But in a relationship, he'd try to keep it more neat for you.

Unless you're into the full bush? ;) He would love that.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Not usually romantic.

Though I do think once in a while he'd randomly get all soft and needy, and he'd fuck you so slow and hard, whispering in your ear and feeling up your whole body.

That usually happens if you had a rough day or it was a special occasion, like Valentine's or your BDAY.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Before Dating: Everyday. Always with porn too (earbuds in obv).

I think his favs to watch would be throat-fucking and anal.

Would hate hentai tbh.

rip shane sdv, you would've loved reddit and twitter.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Degrading (only giving tho), dirty talk, breeding, spanking, hair pulling.

Non-penetrative sex & outercourse (like assjobs, tit fucking, dry humping, handjobs.)

Spitting in your mouth. 👀

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Hear me out: fucking in the Joja breakroom.

Hardly anyone is even the store. Morris and the cashier never leave their positions. It's only semi-public, so it gives that adrenaline rush, but almost no risk of being caught.

And he gets to spend company time stuffing your holes! It's perfect!

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Just looking at you can get him hard tbh.

But oh my god, he'd get embarrassingly horny from you teasing him.

One of those guys who pretends to hate teasing, but it actually excites him so much.

Loves the chase (and eventual catch).

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I don't think he'd be into being submissive or bottoming.

He's strictly a dom/dom top.

The most submissive he'd be is having you ride him, but that doesn't really count as being a sub.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Prefers receiving. Sometimes likes it more than actual sex tbh.

He's not the best at giving head, but you'd still cum from it.

Would actually really like having you sit on his face. He'd jerk off while you do it too.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

If you're doing anal, he'd start slow and work his way up to going fast and hard.

Vaginal sex starts and ends pretty hard n fast.

The only time he stays slow and gentle is those infrequent love-making sessions i mentioned earlier.

Or if you just ask him to slow down, he will right away ofc.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Loves quickies!

Could probably do two, maybe three in one day if he's super pent up.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Fairly down for experimenting. Also long as it isn't painful or gross.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

If he's on top, probably not a super high stamina. One round. Lasts an average amount of time.

But if you're riding, he can go as many rounds as you want.

He'd let you fuck him till he's cumming dry if you wanted.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Probably doesn't own any himself. Maybe he made homemade ones in the past.

He'd be so down to use some with you though.

Imagine mutual masturbation with him!!

Lying side-by-side, using a fleshlight on him while he uses your fav toy on you!!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

The longer you're together, the more comfortable he feels teasing you. He'd be such a dick about it.

If you made him mad, he'd keep getting you hot n bothered throughout the day just to leave you hanging.

And like i said before, he pretends to hate being teased. But he secretly loves the chase, and you being a little brat.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Lots of grunting and groaning.

Probably a lot of dirty talk too, esp if you're having angry sex. (IMAGINE!)

"God you make me so fucking mad sometimes, just couldn't wait to take my cock, could you? Such a little whore."

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Would absolutely bend you over in front of a full length mirror and make you keep eye contact with him while he fucks you stupid.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Thick as fuck, average length.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Kinda high.

Ideally he'd wanna get it on at least once a day, but that's up to you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If it was anything more than a quickie, right away.

Tired old man smh.

I LOVE DIRTY, OLD MAN SHANE!!

[a-little-ray-of-fantasy]

Barnaby facts (confirmed by the devs)

Hello! Since I was bored and it's making me so happy to see Barnaby getting so much love lately, I've decided to collect all the info I have about him! I most likely missed something, so if you have info I haven't put here, or got wrong, let me know, ok? ^^

Anyhoo, here we go! **}

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

- Barnaby, despite his name, is not a barn owl. He's actually a long eared owl.

- Barnaby isn't his real name; he used to have a different one, back in his alive days. One of the drawings featuring him has him surrounded by many names starting with "B".

- Said illustration has "Who am I?" hidden among the names and words such as "Where" and "Help", hinting at something linked to his identity is torturing him.

- It's been stated that Barnaby is the way he is because of a dangerous experiment that corrupted then killed him, changing him completely as a result.

- Barnaby is asexual homoromantic, and is genderfluid: while he goes primarly by "he/him", he accepts any pronoun.

- He considers his Barnaboos as his "little pretties", and often offers help or advice if they need it; of course, his help may not be as helpful as he believes...

- He hates cheesecake.

- He's not a fan of rootbeer neither; he will serve it in his parties, but he personally won't drink it.

- His favorite food is eye scream, and favorite Halloween treat are caramel apples.

- As for ice cream, his favorite flavor is Strawberry Shortcake.

- Speaking of food, yeah, he doesn't need to eat, nor sleep. But still likes doing it anyway.

- Barnaby is a confirmed sleepyhead. He naps a lot, but never in an ordinary position, or in his bed; he tends to sleep in various gravity bending position, especially upside down.

- Meaning, yes, when Billie comes to steal his gem, he was sleeping!

- And when he sleeps, he apparently snores and hoots.

- While hugging him would result in a kill from him, Ash confirmed Barnaby is a hugger! Hugging him would still involve him squeezing or stabbing you to death, tho'. And he'd feel both soft and slimy to the touch.

- Barnaby is around 10-11ft tall, and with his size-shifting abilities, he can be any height he wants; when he was alive tho', he's as tall as Aristotle, more or less.

- He doesn't need glasses anymore, but sometimes will wear them because they make him look smart. They also tend to follow the eyes' movements.

- Barnaby is very emotional: while it won't stop him from trying to kill you, he will cry if he sees you cry. Ironically, he would comfort you until you feel better. Then he'll kill you.

- It's been confirmed that Barnaby's biggest fear has "already come true".

- His tears are orange, just like his eyes.

- Barnaby is not one to open his heart easily, but the moment he does, there's many ways to reach it. He's quite romantic, tho' not in the usual way: if you gave him a dead rat, he'd consider it a very romantic gesture!

- It's been stated he doesn't have a partner now, but in life, "maybe".

- When it comes to children, it's been confirmed he'd be the best caregiver alongside Dutch, althought for him "it's complicated".

- He apparently had a child of his own, if the picture posted about him during "Father's Day" is any indication. What happened to the little one hasn't been revealed yet.

- Apparently he's the least judgemental character in BBU!

- If he had a TV, it'd be old timey, and he'd watch something really random. Like ducks.

- Barnaby loves small critters; Ash specifically mentions they always linked him with guinea pigs. And indeed, Barnaby had a science guinea pig co-worker once, that turned into an actual guinea pig because of a reckless experiment, and he took care of them.

- He's able to control reality; it's unclear if it's his gem's doing, or his magic power as a ghost.

- In any case, he's now the most powerful character in the game

- Back in his alive days, he was a magic researcher and scientist.

- He actually owned the gem before he turned into a ghost. He even experimented on it, and it's suggested that actually sealed his fate.

- A lot of songs from Oingo Boingo and Lemon Demon fit him: Ash specifically mentioned "Weird Science" as really "Barnabycore"

- Barnaby is autistic: he stims by hooting and flapping his wings when he's excited.

- When he's scared or nervous, he tends to cover himself with his wings.

- Katie said that, if he were a candy, he'd be a sour blueberry.

- Barnaby lives in his own dimension, with his own mansion and everything. And he can travel between realities. Although one comment from Katie suggests he's trapped in there, but it's too early to say for sure.

- According to the devs, he was inspired by Weird Al Yankovic, Lewis from Mystery Skulls and Discord from MLP.

- No, he wasn't inspired by Snatcher, since the development of BBU has lasted longer than A Hat in Time. The two of them canonically know each other tho': only problem is, Snatcher hates Barnaby's guts and finds him too clingy, while the owl adores him.

- He canonically knows Wally Darling from "Welcome Home" and Kira from "Far Fetched" too, since he can travel between realities.

- Barnaby has his guests come to his home by portals that pop just below them. He apparently has kidnapped people before, every once in a while.

- He'd get along well with Dutch.

- It's left vague whether he knows Fantoccio or not.

- He actually has never met Arthur nor Aristotle before the game.

- In any case, he'd find Aristotle really funny, and wouldn't take them seriously.

-- Barnaby is aware of the player, and can break the 4th wall. And that's why only he can use Twitter.

- Whenever he writes on Twitter, hE WRiTSE LIkE THIS!!!

- Barnaby is REALLY mischeavous, and finds no problem in cheating in games. But if YOU cheat, then he gets ticked off.

- This suggests he's also a sore loser.

- Judging by his expression in the cutscene, he doesn't like being interrupted.

- It's been confirmed he smells like meldew. :P

- He could fake glitching out, then attack the moment you come to check out what's going on with him.

- He HATES party crashers. Also scarecrows: not good for conversations. And he's not interested in their crops.

- He can play the organ: Katie even suggested that if you hear it in the background of his chapter, that's him playing it.

- He was a young prodigy, back when he was alive!

- Don't be fooled by his goofy antics: he's very smart, still loves making experiments and can speak a lot of languages.

- Ironically, he hates skulls: he finds them icky.

- He was 25-26 when he died; he's been dead for 100+ years.

- Time is very important for him: that's why there's so many clocks in his parlor. It's been suggested he sees partying as a way to keep track with time.

- Despite that, Barnaby himself in the contest video has briefly stated he tends to forget what year it is.

- There's tons of pictures in his manor: all of them depict him, suggesting he's good at painting.

- Katie has noted that Barnaby "remembers everything". When asked if there's something he'd rather forget, they stated that "what he wants and what he needs are very different things".

- His family is "infinite", apparently. Then again, one of his very early descriptions stated he's got no friends nor family to speak about...

- He's been described as "self interested"

- When asked which character had the most trauma, without giving hints about being traumatized, Katie confirmed Barnaby as the answer, even stating his story makes them the saddest, alongside Fanto's.

- His favorite color is pink!

- He can change himself into lots of animals, and can even clone himself!

- When asked if he can talk to his alive self, Katie said it's "technically possible".

- Back when he was alive, he was noted as a dork and a hardworker, so much so he'd even pull one-nighters before making speeches for his research. Katie jokingly suggested that's why he parties so much: it's to make up for lost time!

- He had a different way of speaking, back when he was alive. And his icks were probably different as well.

- When he gets overwhelmed, he has a shutdown, and goes completely silent.

- At early stages, Barnaby was supposed to be a bug.

- The moment his design as a ghost was chosen, he went through a lot of palette options, like a pale blue color like he came from "The Haunted Mansion", or all colorful like "Dia de los Muertos". Ultimately they settled for his currently shadowy look because, not only it's easier to animate, it was in line with his backstory.

- Barnaby can melt. It's still unclear what triggers such a reaction, but some pictures hint that it's tied to his psychological state.

- Barnaby has been noted that he can talk fancy, but he's not eloquent.

- His favorite dance is the charleston!

- Ash has stated that in the game he is going to be depicted doing something similiar to "singing himself to sleep".

- Apparently he still makes pellets from his mouth. Dead or not, he's still an owl.

- He often puts emphasis on words, sometimes even making his bowtie spin.

- In the latest Twitter post featuring him, when you decode the garbled message, you can read: "Barnaby lies Along in his thoughts, Resting On the floor Neglected". Not only this hints at his turmoil, it also hides the word "BARON". It's unclear if it's his name, a title he possessed, or someone or thing else entirely connected to him.

- He loves recieving scretches on his head.

- Barnaby can cook, but he'll more often than not leave that to the Barnaboos.

- He's not that interested in gardening, even tho' he owns a greenhouse.

- He'd enjoy playing "Luigi's Mansion"!

- In Super Smash Bros. he'd main Meta Knight, even relating to him.

- He'd happily accept smoochies, apparently!

- His favorite party game is "Pin the tail on the owl".

- If you are his friend, he'd consider it even more of a reason to stay in the manor and never leave!

- He has claimed that he's used to give himself self love and compliments, since no one else does it. That, and his tendency to ask others for hugs or if they need a hug to calm down, suggests he's affection starved.

- He tends to react to compliments from fans by smiling bashfully, or happily shouting that he's popular.

- Katie stated that his favorite movie would be something unexpected, like "Marnie & Me" or "Up".

- Barnaby can see everything from the eyes of the plushies that look like him. So, if you bought one... watch out...

- Among his early designs, he also looked like a completely different owl, tall and austere looking, who was the guardian of the forest. It was changed because the devs wanted a goofy boss that could stand out among the others.

- Having said that, it seems Barnaby was the last boss to be officially revealed, and initially the game only had Elaine, Dutch and Fantoccio as the main bosses.

- Barnaby LOVES puns. A good deal of the lines he says when you get defeated in his chase contain a pun.

- You try being slick by stating you want to die of old age? Too bad: Barnaby will make you age rapidly. Despite that, Katie confirmed he doesn't have time related powers...

- Katie and Ash confirmed Barnaby can fly. And such a sight is apparently really hilarious.

- Barnaby loves shiny trinkets: if he sees a sparkly thread, he'll fixate on it and will follow its movements. It's like with a cat following a laser.

- Barnaby has teeth; they're orange and sharp, and come out when he's ticked off, or especially devious.

- When he was alive, he only used he/him pronouns. He became comfortable with all pronouns after he died. He's always been interested in men.

- This goes without saying, but still: he operates on cartoon logic. He can use both his wings AND his feet as hands. Even both feet can act as hands, even when they appear off camera. How? Because it's Barnaby and he can do anything he sets his mind into!

[g4l4xy-qu33n]

Stanford Pines SFW Alphabet

A/N: Pretty much what it says on the tin. These are all my personal opinions and headcanons of Ford, so please don’t come at me saying that somethings not entirely canon! No use of Y/N, and reader is written with female for the gender in mind, but no genitalia or body type is specified, so technically reader can be interpreted as anything.

warnings: pretty much just your basic sfw alphabet fluff, with a tiny bit of smut if you squint

(sorry if this wasn’t formatted correctly, I’m not that sure how to use tumblr properly yet-)

proofread by nobody (and I think the tense changes a bit)

enjoy this brainrot I guess-

<3

Mostly SFW Alphabet for Stanford Pines

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Ford is VERY affectionate. (More often when he’s tired since he mostly just expresses his feelings through physical touch, and not words.)

Ford shows affection through:

Hugs from behind with his hands wrapped around your waist. He would also kiss softly into your neck with a small smile on his face.

When laying in bed, (when he actually goes to bed), Ford would make sure you face him and then he would proceed to slowly kiss you until you both fell asleep, lips still touching.

Cuddles. This man loves cuddles. Give him cuddles.

If you fell asleep while he was working (on the couch in his office) he would get the most fluffy blanket he can find and tuck you in. He would also mutter a lot of really sappy stuff into your ear he would never admit to saying while he pet your head or caressed your side. This is why you pretend to fall asleep on his couch a lot.

He just randomly hugs/kisses you when he can during the day.

He also would tuck a stray bit of hair behind your ear when he notices it’s out.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Being Fords best friend (and SO) would have a lot involved in it. For example:

Having to listen to his rambling about random science stuff. (You love it tho)

Having to drag him away from his work (literally) when he pushes himself too far and forgets about basic human needs

Having to comfort and stand up for him when he gets bullied about his hands/fingers

Having to help him build his boat (the Stan’O’War)

Having to comfort him after Stanley left, telling him that his brother doesn’t hate him etc.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

As I said earlier, this man LOVES cuddles.

He loves any sort of cuddle position, but spooning will always be his favourite. He likes being the big spoon and smelling your hair (he loves the smell and would sometimes steal your shampoo just for the smell.) He would never admit this, but he also likes being the little spoon, because he feels protected and loved.

His other favourite cuddle position is when you are facing each other and he can kiss you, with one of his hands on the side of your head. 

He liked it when you two cuddled and you were lying on top of him with your head on his chest.

A cuddle position he REALLY wants to try is him lying on your chest. Also your lap. He wants to lie on your thighs and get head pats, he’s just too embarrassed to ask. If he were to ask he’d immediately flush pink, start stuttering and putting his hand on the back of his neck.

He’d also love it when you sat on his lap while he worked, but would get ‘annoyed’ (not really) after a while because he has work he needs to do. Eventually he’ll pick you up and carry you to bed (if you fell asleep or not, it doesn’t matter), but grab onto him when he puts you down on the bed and he’ll give in and cuddle until you both fell asleep. You would have to let go if he really has A LOT of work to do. (like build an interdimensional portal a demon told him to build)

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Ford wouldn’t exactly jump at the idea of settling down and having a family, but after a bit of persuasion he would MAYBE adopt a singular kid. Ford knows that he wouldn’t be the best parent, and that he’d probably accidentally ignore them.

Fords skill in cooking isn’t the best, and he usually relies on you to cook meals. If he had to cook, he would either make a frozen microwave meal or something simple like Mac and Cheese.

Cleaning however, Ford would always be the one to clean. If you even so much as pick up a cleaning supply, he would yank it out of your hand and do whatever you were going to do. The only cleaning he would let you do is the dusting. Ford has a dust allergy and will start sneezing uncontrollably. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Even though Ford would hate to do it, if it was necessary it would have to be done.

Ford would probably bring you flowers or chocolate or a stuffed animal of your favourite animal as a goodbye present.

After telling you the bad news, he would most likely just burst into tears and try to get away from you, because it would hurt him too much.

If there was a way to get into a long distance relationship with Ford, he would literally jump at the chance.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Ford doesn’t trust people very easily (obviously, with Stanley and Bill)

He would take a while to propose and commit to marriage, again because of his trust issues

Once it happens however, there is zero going back (unless it absolutely HAS to happen)

Ford would do a small proposal, probably in front of the portal for a cool sciencey aesthetic.

He would probably bring you down there after a fancy candlelit dinner (most likely at greasys diner, which he funded to get it fixed up and made a little more romantic for your guys special night)

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Ford can look quite intimidating, with the weapon almost constantly strapped to him and all, but if you get to know him and grow close to him, he would become really soft and cuddly and overall tenderhearted.

Before you got to know him, Ford would be quite hard emotionally, and wouldn’t like physical contact, and he would also be quite tough and rude, maybe even a bit violent if you rile him up (like he is with most people he doesn’t know). Once you get to know him however, he becomes quite soft with his emotions and get flustered quite easily.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Ford is a sucker for hugs, you hug him and he pretty much melts into your arms (unless he’s quite busy).

Ford tries to hug you as often as possible, wether it be while you’re cooking and hugging from behind, or just a quick hug while he’s working, Ford takes every chance he can for a hug.

Fords hugs are amazing. Since he’s quite strong, (spending 30 years travelling through dimensions and fighting monsters does that to a person) and tall, he has an obsession with picking you up while you guys are hugging, and spinning you in a circle and most likely ending it with a kiss. 

When hugging, Ford likes to drag them on quite a long time, unless of course he’s busy.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

As said earlier, Ford has severe trust issues and anxiety, and will need to get his trust up to be able to say verbally that he loves you. 

The first time Ford said it was in college (Backupsmore), in your shared dorm after getting a little tipsy. You were lying in bed holding each other close and kissing each other wherever you could reach. You kissed him, and a sleepy Ford whispered “I love you.” Then immediately passed out. He acted like he forgot the next morning (he definitely remembers). This is a moment that you hold dear to your heart, and being able to hear those words again while Ford was in the portal was pretty much the only thing keeping you going. (Damn that got dark- also lil’ mini fanfic)

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Ford doesn’t get jealous easily, but he can if:

Somebody flirts with you. (If the persons drunk or not, Ford would come over and roast the shit outta whoever it is.)

But yeah, Ford doesn’t get jealous very often.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Fords kisses are amazing. They’re so good you could easily kiss him forever with no breaks

His kisses vary from really rough (with tongue and teeth) to just a soft peck on your cheek or forehead

Ford could spend at least a day just listing his favourite places to kiss you (everywhere) and why, but here are his personal favourites (in no particular order) :

Lips (obviously). He thinks your lips are super soft, no matter how little lip balm/chapstick you use

Forehead. He likes giving you forehead kisses because they’re quick and he’s tall, so your forehead is easily accessible for his lips

Hands. He loves hand kisses, because there’s so many places on your hands he can kiss. There’s the knuckles, palm, the back of your hand, the list goes on.

Stomach. This is rare, but when you two are cuddling (him on top of you), he loves lifting your shirt up just a bit to kiss your stomach area.

Ford likes receiving kisses just as much as he gives them, since they make him feel loved and cared for.

He loves to get kissed mostly on his face. Like lips, cheek, forehead, jawline and neck. 

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Let’s just say, Ford is indifferent about children. He loves them (especially if they’re his) sure, but he thinks kids are just so much work and get in the way of his concentration and scientific discoveries. Especially babies and toddlers. 

If you two were to have kids, he would still love them unconditionally, but he would most likely end up ignoring them, and leaving all the parenting for you to do. He doesn’t mean to hurt either of you if he does this, and it’s always partially or mostly an accident.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings with Ford are usually rushed, since the both of you would have work to do you.

He still tries to cherish mornings though.

If he wakes up before you, then he likes to sit and watch you sleep (not in a creepy way).

He WILL NOT get out of bed until the both of you are awake, just because he likes spending as much time with you as possible.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights with Ford vary from stressful/chaotic to calm and relaxed.

Stressful nights are the nights that he’s working a lot, meaning that you’ll probably have to go to sleep hugging a pillow or go and physically drag him away from his work. The latter will be hard, the man’s heavy and determined to work.

Calm nights with Ford are the ones you both cherish the most, since they’re not very frequent, because he’s always busy.

On calm/relaxed nights, the two of you just cuddle and savour the time with each other.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

As said many times, Ford has horrible trust issues, and will not tell anyone anything personal about his life until he trusts them. Not even his last name.

If you are close to him and he trusts you, then he will start opening up about things slowly. Very slowly.

It took him months to prepare himself to tell you about Bill, and most of that time he worried about what you might say about him or think of him.

When Ford is hiding something, he becomes distant and only gives vague answers in response to questions.

It’s very obvious to you when Ford is hiding something because of this.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Fords patience levels are quite high actually, being a scientist and all.

He does easily snap though, if someones pushed him too far. 

It’s very rare he snaps at you, since he loves you and is aware of triggers and past trauma that you may have. He mostly just yells and snaps at his brother, because of too many reasons to list in a singular post.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Since Ford’s a busy man, so he doesn’t remember every single little thing you tell him, sadly.

He does however, remember the important things, like your birthday or your favourite of something (food, drink, song, place, etc.)

Since he can’t remember much, don’t question it if he writes in a little notebook while you talk to him about something.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Ford cannot choose a favourite moment in your relationship. There’s just too many! But if he had to pick, these would be his favourites:

He loves the time you told him about your feelings and he told you about his, and you shared your first kiss on the half finished Stan’O’War. (Stanley ruined the moment by going “ewwww” though.)

Ford actually holds one moment in his heart and thinks about it every day:

When, after 30 years of not seeing each other, you kissed him, and held him and cried happy tears onto his shoulder.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Although Ford is very scared of losing you, he doesn’t protect you all that much. The only things he really protects you from are Bill, and how dangerous Bill can be when in his mind.

He would protect you any way he can, at one point he even considered you getting a metal plate installed in your head just to protect you.

Ford doesn’t feel like he needs protection exactly, only support and love from family and friends. 

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

It really depends on the task if Ford actually puts effort into it.

When it comes to dates with Ford, it’s usually just a nice meal he’s had help with cooking, and then watching your favourite movie or show.

Your anniversary is usually the same sort of thing, but he really splurges with a gift. It’s usually your favourite flowers or chocolate or a plushie.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Ford has a few bad habits. Some of the more notable ones are:

Overworking himself. This one is the most common of all of his bad habits.

Not taking care of himself/ignoring his basic needs. Usually when Ford’s working, he will forget to eat, sleep, drink water, shower and even use the toilet. You will have to remind him to do these things, or else he will die. Man’s like a sim sometimes honestly.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

If you think this man would be concerned with how he looks on a daily basis, think again. (He literally uses fire to shave, what did you expect?)

If you two were to go on a date or something important however, he takes a little more time than usual to get ready.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

The easy answer to this is yes, Ford does feel incomplete without you around.

He would and has admitted this before when you asked him why he was so desperate for cuddles one night.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Now I know this isn’t exactly a headcanon for Ford specifically, but this extra space will be for what the Pines and others think about you and Fords relationship.

Stanley

Now Stanley’s opinion on his brothers romantic life isn’t really that bad. In actual fact, Stanley could care less about Ford’s love life. The only thing he dislikes about it is the fact that his nerdy six-fingered brother gets the girls, and not him, the ‘cooler’ one.

Dipper

Dipper doesn’t really care about you guys being together, as long as it doesn’t get too much in the way of science. He does like you though, because you guys can rock out to Icelandic Pop Sensation BABBA together, and there’s also one more person to play D&D& More D with.

Mabel

Now (as everyone knows), Mabel is a shipper. Mabel is obsessed with the fact that her great uncle Ford is in a relationship, because of many reasons. She has someone to go to relationship advice for, she has someone she can organise dates for and she has someone to just obsess over and ship. (She’s maybe too obsessed, sometimes.)

Soos and Wendy

I put these two together because they have very similar opinions on the relationship. The opinion is: they really don’t mind that you two are together. Of course, Soos is excited and happy for Ford and you, and Wendy just likes it because she gets ‘a cool new old person friend’, but neither don’t think it impacts them that much.

Fiddleford McGucket

Fiddleford is actually very happy for the two of you, and has been since college. He’s happy that you two have been together for so long (unlike him and his wife), and calls it true love. He was Ford’s best man at the wedding that happened after college. (It wasn’t Stanley because, well you know, the Highschool Science Project Incident.)

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Ford will accept you for whoever you are, wether you’re bubbly, bouncy and easily excited, or dark, quiet and withdrawn, (or literally anything else) he will love and respect you. There’s only one type of person he wouldn’t date, and that is a bully. Someone who makes fun of others just because they can. Someone like the Sibling Brothers (from the Lost Legends book), or Crampelter and his friends.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

No. Just no.

Man doesn’t sleep, like at all, and he’s a very light sleeper anyway.

If you were actually to get him to sleep, I think you deserve an award. 

Ford always only sleeps 4 hours maximum at a time, and constantly has nightmares that he wakes up from. 

He also struggles to actually get to sleep (or get back to sleep) in the first place.