#i do think when he and jen start going out that’s more motivation for him to come to school to see her

[timechange]

MCFLY JULY ‘24 — playing hooky.

MARCH 8, 1983

“Hi Doc, sorry I’m late.”

The fourteen-year-old greets @doctorbrown as usual, sliding the key under the mat and leaving his skateboard by the door. Einstein immediately bounds over, tail wagging, and Marty scratches him behind the ears.

“What’s on the list for today?” the boy continues, completely oblivious to or deliberately ignoring the fact that it’s Tuesday at 12:03 PM and he should most definitely be in Mr. Johnston’s fourth period geometry class right now. “More welding, maybe some circuitry? Dreamin’ up some new schematics?”

As if sensing his best friend’s discontentment and knowing he’s been found out, he groans, flopping onto Einstein to give the canine an impromptu hug. The sheepdog, pleased at the attention, thumps his tail more vigorously and licks the teenager’s face.

“C’mon, Doc,” Marty wheedles. “Linda’s skipping today too! It’s not like I got any tests or anything. Anyway, I learn more from you. You know that.”

What he’s pretty sure the scientist also knows is that, other than Doc himself, nobody actually gives a shit if he’s at school or not. Not his parents, especially not after last night. They probably don’t even realize, and sure as hell don’t care, that he’s gone.

[your-divine-ribs]

Ice Cold Part 15

Words: 2.4k

Lyla finds out more about Van’s past 💙

Ice Cold Masterlist Main Masterlist

"I owe you my life Lyla."

Raj's voice was filled with an appreciative kind of awe that made me squirm in my seat. I was uncomfortable enough visiting him as it was, I hated hospitals, but the praise he kept heaping on me just made things worse.

"You'd have done the same for me, any of us would have," I replied. "I just wish I'd not been distracted. As soon as I saw those fake waiters I knew something was wrong. I shouldn't have hesitated."

My mind drifted back to that fateful night in Paris and the note from Van urging me to 'GET OUT NOW'. I was sure if I'd followed that instruction I would have been at Raj's graveside now rather than his hospital bed, but still it didn't seem good enough.

Raj shifted where he lay, groaning and screwing up his face, clutching his bandaged abdomen. "Shit... I think it's time for my pain meds again."

"I'll get a nurse," I offered, rising to my feet. "I should be getting back to the office anyway."

"No!" He said hurriedly. "Don't go yet!"

I hesitated, turned to him, watched an awkward little smile emerge on his lips as he struggled to hide his discomfort. "I was thinking... erm... maybe when I get out of this place... maybe we could... errr... go and grab a drink or something?"

My heart sank as I took in his hopeful expression and I just hoped the small smile that I painted on looked genuine. "Errr... yeah sure... that'd be nice... look I really do need to get back. I'll come and visit again soon."

"I'd like that," I heard him say as I hurriedly turned and made for the exit.

Of course I had no intention on taking Raj up on his offer. He was nice enough, a real gentleman, good-looking and sweet. Someone I was that sure Jen would call 'a real catch', but those qualities didn't interest me. They didn't make my heart race and my mind spin. They didn't make me feel the same way that Van did.

In truth, my visit to Raj wasn't just as a well-meaning friend or colleague, I'd also had an ulterior motive. I wanted to find out who'd he'd been working with on the psychological profiling team. I tried to tell myself that I wanted to delve into Van's past to assist me with bringing him down, but I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I was in so deep now all I could do was tread water and try and keep my head above the surface, the dangerous current threatening to completely sweep me away.

Andrea was a small bird-like woman with sharp features and a serious demeanour, and she looked at me with something between wonder and admiration as I asked her to walk me through Van's psychological profile report.

"We've all been talking about you in this office Lyla," she said, eyes bright. "No one else has spent so much time with Van before and got away with their life. What was he like?"

Exciting... Dangerous... Intoxicating...

I batted the words out of my mind and settled on a very different adjective.

"Terrifying."

I saw Andrea visibly shudder as she pushed her glasses further up the bridge of her nose, picking up a thick file and starting to leaf through.

"You know, you're such a good agent," she said, pulling out sheets and photos. "Most field operatives don't care much about profiles and psych reports, they're straight in there all guns blazing, going for glory. They don't realise that getting inside someone's head and knowing how their mind works is key to catching them."

"Well, no matter what they've done, they're still people at the end of the day, right?" I answered.

Andrea narrowed her eyes. "Oh, we don't do this to humanise them. They're monsters... all of them... no matter what they've been through. No... we do this to find their weaknesses. That's how we bring them down."

"Oh..." I looked away quickly, taking a sip of my coffee.

Andrea carried on, a thoughtful look in her eyes. "Of course someone like Van... well that's easier said than done. He doesn't appear to have any weaknesses. Tell me... you've been the closest to him... what are your thoughts? Is there anything we can use to get to him?"

Her question caught me off guard and I froze for a moment. Of course Van had a weakness. A very obvious one. And unbeknownst to Andrea she was looking directly at it.

"Errr... no... I don't think he does have any weaknesses that I've seen... but he's just a man right? They're all weak in some way, hey?"

I nudged Andrea gently, grinning, trying for a joke to distract from the serious look on her face as she studied me intently, but it was quite obvious she wasn't the joking type. She simply sighed and turned her attention back to the files, picking up an old dog-eared crime report.

A photo slipped out of the pages and fell in front of me on the desk and I picked it up for a closer inspection. It was a small boy, he couldn't have been any older than five or six. His clothes were crumpled and torn and stained with what looked like dried blood. The pale skin of his face was streaked with it too. The haunted look in his eyes told me that he'd seen horrors no boy of his age should have seen.

"Is this... is this Van?" I stuttered.

I didn't really need to ask. I'd recognise those striking blue-green eyes anywhere. Andrea nodded.

"What happened to him?"

Andrea's expression was grim as she spoke. "This was taken when they found him, he was just six years old. His family were killed... all of them.... and he witnessed it. He'd been left in the house for five days with their bodies when they found him."

"Christ..." I breathed. "How were they killed?"

"Murdered."

The word cut through me like a knife to the heart and an image of my own dead father flashed through my mind's eye.

Andrea wasn't finished with her gruesome tale. "It was brutal, a machete attack apparently. The father was beheaded. It was a gangland style execution."

Nausea rose in me. "Who did it?"

"I'm sure you've heard of Tommy Chappell."

I nodded. Everybody had. An infamous criminal who was notorious for running all of the criminal activity in the North twenty years ago.

"Van's father was a bad man. Really bad. Rotten to the core. He used to work for Tommy, running the drug operations. He got greedy though, he was skimming money off the top, and then of course when he got found out Tommy had to make an example of him."

"What about his mum?"

Andrea had a look of distaste on her face. "She was no better. A junkie and an alcoholic. She should never have had children, those boys were neglected right from the moment they were born. They never really stood a chance."

"Boys?" I said, confused by the plural term.

She sifted through the files again, her fingers alighting on another photo. Van looked even younger here and he was with an older boy.

"Van has a brother?"

"Did," Andrea confirmed. "He was a lot older than Van. Chappell didn't spare him either."

I could picture the horrific scene in my mind, Van as a young child, forced to watch his family members meet their grisly ends. It didn't matter whether they were good or bad people, at that age family were all you had. I shook my head, trying to clear the emotion away that was threatening to surface. I had to be professional.

"So what happened to him... afterwards?"

Andrea pulled a sizeable stack of papers out of the file and placed them into my outstretched hands. "He got taken into care. He was young enough that there were plenty of families who were interested in fostering to start with... well, that was until the problems started."

I stopped sifting through the papers and looked up at Andrea, eager to hear more.

"It became apparent quite quickly that Van wasn't like other six year olds. Something was seriously wrong with him. He was... cruel, destructive, often violent. One family went so far as to say he was evil."

I scoffed disbelievingly. "That's ridiculous! He was six years old! After everything he'd been through it's not surprising he had issues!"

"Naturally," Andrea agreed. "Social care's come a long way in the last twenty years. Unfortunately Van was shipped around a lot at first. Families handed him back because they couldn't cope with him. Eventually they ran out of options, so he stayed in care homes... some of them shall we say... rather disreputable..."

She screwed up her face. She didn't need to elaborate, I'd heard enough horror stories of vulnerable children abused by those who had been trusted to care for them.

Andrea went on. "He became just another product of the system... damaged. It's a textbook classic example really. I mean, not all psychopathic behaviour stems from neglect and abuse, but the majority does. If an infant doesn't receive the love they need to form emotional bonds in the first few years of life they develop what's known as attachment disorder. Believe or not, humans have to be taught how to love!"

She allowed herself a laugh then, but I didn't find any humour in it. The ache in my heart was steadily getting stronger the more I heard.

"But his parents... they must have loved him in their own way!" My voice cracked with an emotion I wasn't expecting.

"The McCanns?" She snorted like I'd said something preposterous. "Like I said the mother was an addict and his father was a violent, abusive man. His brother was brought up in the family business and he was very much his father's son. Van was probably being taught how to load a gun when most little boys were getting their first train set. I don't think that boy ever saw anything even close to love... not even for one day of his life."

I wasn't prepared for the feelings that ripped through me, I almost felt physically winded and my unemotional facade slipped. Andrea's eyes narrowed at me.

"You look a little peaky. Do you want a glass of water?"

"No... errr no I'm fine, honestly. Carry on... please."

Andrea's eyes lingered on me just a fraction too long, and I could feel the guilt rising. I cleared my throat and let my head hang whilst I pretended to study the social services statement.

"There's not much more to tell really...." She lent forward, lowering her voice. "Don't go feeling sorry for him. He's good at what he does because he doesn't feel remorse."

"I don't feel sorry for him!" The words sprang from me forcefully, defensively. "I just know how it feels to lose a parent in such a brutal way... that's all."

"Yes I know all about that," Andrea said. "It's the age-old argument of nature versus nurture isn't it? Are people really born bad or does life just shape them that way? You can put two people through the same experience and they can react in totally different ways. Van chose this life. Your dad was murdered too but look how you turned out."

Yeah, a real upstanding and moral citizen...

"It's hardly the same is it?" I replied, knowing I sounded like I was defending him but not being able to stop myself. "He had nothing. At least I had family... my mum..."

"Like she was such a comfort to you when it happened!" Andrea's sharp and sarcastic tone cut me off and I looked at her, stunned. She looked shocked by the outburst herself, quickly back-tracking.

"Err... I didn't mean... I mean I shouldn't have said that..." She faltered, then put out a hand to rest on my arm which I hastily moved away. "I'm sorry but I read your file, your psych evaluations, your therapy sessions..."

I dropped the files on the desk, rising quickly to my feet, pushing the chair back forcefully across the floor with a screeching sound. "I suggest you do your job and read the criminals' reports, not the staff's!" I hissed.

"But... but I had to! When we had that data breach earlier in the year... all those files got accessed. It wasn't just the assignment files... they got into the personnel files too."

I'd already started to turn, but this statement stopped me in my tracks. I'd not heard of any data breach. "What are you talking about?"

Andrea's face looked stricken, like she'd said something she shouldn't have and had now been caught out. I glared at her, watched her squirm with unease.

"I'm guessing no one told you then..."

I took a step closer, my mind racing. "Told me what?"

She glanced around, uncomfortable, but I wasn't backing down. "Just tell me," I said sharply.

She sighed then, took a breath before the words tumbled out of her. "It was the worst breach we've had. Our network's supposed to have state of the art encryption too, it should be uncrackable, but somehow someone got in. They accessed all sorts, assignments, undercover agent information. It blew some of their covers wide open. Thankfully they managed to get them all out in time... but it could have cost lives. Remember that senior member of staff Eric suddenly leaving? Someone had to be made accountable. At least they didn't access too many of the personnel files..." she trailed off, eyes darting around before coming to rest on me again. "They got into your file though... they accessed the whole lot... everything. It was strange because none of the other agents were affected... it was only yours..."

I'd stopped listening at this point. Thoughts were thundering through my head as I stood motionless, mouth agape.

"Are you alright? I don't think Paul wanted to worry you..."

I ignored her, starting to back away before I quickly whirled around and made for the door, flinging it open. All I could picture in my head was Van, eyes burning into me with intensity whilst he spoke those three words.

"I know you..."

[phantomoftheorpheum]

if shawn found out about the cheating episodes ago i would’ve continued to keep a revenge plot in the back of my mind for his possible motive.

but because he only found out about the cheating in ep 7 AND they specifically made sure to show us him realizing what happened under his nose, i don’t think it would make sense for them to turn around and say he found out a while ago and is getting revenge as a member of the BR team. i feel like that theory can be put to rest - unless there’s some other unforeseen motive driving him. but the cheating/love triangle stuff was his only plot this season so any motive must have to do with it.

but maybe i’m wrong! maybe the writers will make it happen somehow. they’ve made plenty of decisions this season that i don’t quite understand haha.

Yes, I would agree that it definitely feels much less likely after this most recent episode!

The framing of the scene where he's lifting weights and has the flashes of Noa and Jen does heavily imply that he's just finally putting the pieces together. At the very least, they clearly wants us to interpret it that way. It's the most likely explanation. Particularly if Jen is going to be an antagonist, but even if she's not. At this point it feels very Occam's Razor.

But I do think, technically, another interpretation of that scene could be that when he's thinking of Noa and Jen, he's just ruminating on this relationship that happened behind his back and that has driven him to try to get revenge. I think it is vague enough to technically reframe if they really wanted to, but it doesn't feel like it ties in to the rest of the plot very well. It also feels like it would just be really hard to explain- like, okay, he finds out Noa cheated on him back when she was in juvie and he's mad about it, but then he just says/does nothing about it until that particular person she cheated with stumbles back into her life (and the Rose stuff started right away in the season, so someone has clearly been planning it for a while, but Jen and Noa don't reconnect until right as the Bloody Rose stuff is starting up, so how would he have had time to plan that?) and he was just prepared to suddenly jump into revenge mode? That doesn't really make sense. As far as we know, Shawn doesn't have any particular ties to the church or to horror/film/spookyspaghetti, and those seem to be the biggest elements of the season.

If he is an antagonist, it feels like it could only really work peripherally, imo. Like he could have given someone the phone numbers, or something along those lines. And he's just been so background this season. I don't want to say that they wouldn't do something like that (making the reveal a character who has very limited screen time), because they literally did last season, but I'm hoping they don't do that again. I really, really want the main antagonists to be characters who have had a major presence in the season.

I think they have much better options for the BR plot, so I definitely agree.

I do think there's still more to come for the love triangle (I mean, it's not really a love triangle anymore because I don't see any world in which Noa and Shawn want to get back together) in the finale, because they did make the choice not to show the confrontation between Shawn and Jen, which is a really strange choice when you've been dangling this, "What's going to happen when Shawn finds out??" question over our heads all season, but then they don't even show the immediate fallout? That makes me think that there's a reason they didn't want us to see that scene, and right now that seems to point more to the idea that Jen is hiding something about what happened.

[junglekarmapippa]

Stuck in the elevator

Jen didn't know how long they had been there.

It felt like an eternity, with Alex just sitting across from her, not moving, staring at a point in the distance over her shoulder in absolute silence.

His gaze was vacant and had turned sad after a couple of minutes of silence.

"Alex?" she called softly. He didn't seem to hear her. "Alex?"

"Are you going to vomit?" he asked, his gaze still lost.

"No, it's not that."

"Then, what is it?"

"Can we..." she lost her nerve mid-sentence. She looked at him, his gaze now on the floor. "Can we talk?"

That made him look up at her. "Talk? About what?"

With his intense green eyes on her, Jen lost her voice to fear again. She took a deep breath and said:

"About us."

"What is there to talk about us?" His voice was very soft, almost whispering.

"There's so much," she replied, her voice intense as she leaned forward to be closer to him. "Don't you think so?"

"You fell in love with another man, Jen. What else is there to talk about?"

"We can start by talking about why you didn't tell me you were alive."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He stared at the floor when he whispered: "Do you really think I didn't want to tell you I was alive?"

"No," she said, her voice tender.

"They forced me to sit there and watch in real-time how the love of my life fell in love with another man, all while unable to stop her," he said.

"They?"

"The High Command."

"Why? What did they get from that?"

Alex looked at her once more. "They thought you'd be less efficient in the capture of Ransik if you knew I was alive because your primary motivation was revenge."

"That's not true!" Jen said.

"I know, knowing I was alive--"

"I wasn't motivated by revenge."

"Then what were you motivated by?" he said, shaking his head.

She leaned forward and took his hand. "I made you a promise." He removed his hand from hers. "And I was willing to die to keep it."

He was looking away from her again. "You were always very loyal, I can't deny that."

He fell back in his morose silence and Jen just watch him across the elevator.

That seemed the only way she could see Alex nowadays: across from something.

He was always on the other side of the glass wall that separated his office from the squad's. On the other side of tables during meetings. On the other side of the gym, of the changing rooms, of the street, of the hallway.

It was like he didn't want to be anywhere near her. Like he wanted to avoid accidentally touching her.

Jen's body brought her mind back to the current situation. She looked across the room and saw Alex taking off his jacket and shirt. The air conditioner had shut down with the rest of the elevator and the temperature had risen quite high.

Jen got up and imitated Alex. He threw a glance at her torso, now bare but for her lacy bra, as she folded the jacket and shirt neatly next to her, just like he had done with his.

"Down to the bra?" he asked, his eyes focused on the corner of the elevator.

"I'm just as hot as you are. It's nothing you haven't seen before," she replied, unable to separate her sight from his torso, muscular and strong.

Oh, how she had loved that torso. How she had loved caressing it, touching it, finding refuge in it, falling asleep wrapped around it. How she missed that torso against hers.

Silence fell between them again, and Alex only moved to remove his boots. Jen imitated him, but they didn't exchange a single word.

"I'm sorry," he whispered out of nowhere. She looked at him and found him leaning against the elevator, his head thrown back slightly. "I bet I'm the last person you want to be here with."

"Not at all," she replied, offering a shy smile. "On the contrary. I think being trapped here is the best moment to cure our wound."

"Cure our wound?"

"Yes. We both want this to heal, but first we have to poke it, Alex. We have to scrape out the dead and infected tissue. We have to make ourselves bleed so our wound can heal."

He sighed. "I'm not ready to have this conversation."

Silence fell again.

After a few minutes, Jen started talking again: "I don't think the gravity of what I did to you hit me until I entered our apartment. I searched everywhere. In every drawer, in every shelf, in the bathroom, in the kitchen... but all trace of you was gone. Even your pillow and your coffee mug. It was all gone."

"Well, that's usually what happens when there's a breakup and somebody has to leave."

"You didn't have to leave that apartment so devoid of you that I doubted you had ever lived with me, Alex."

"I figured you'd have somebody else's presence to fill it with."

"I don't."

"You do."

"I don't. Because that was our apartment, Alex, it was ours. Yours and mine. You have no idea how much it hurts to call it my apartment now."

He looked away from her. "That was what you wanted."

"You didn't have to act as if we had never even met before."

"Is that what you think is happening to me?!" He finally snapped, looking at her face. "Do you think I don't have memories of us and images of what we could be right now invading my brain day in and day out? Do you really think I'm so heartless I haven't thought of you since you broke up with me?!"

She looked at him as if he had slapped her.

"I didn't know--"

"Of course you didn't know. Because fuck me. You are way too busy thinking about Wes to even consider I'm still alive."

She raised her hand. "Wait a sec," she said. "Do you think the only one I think about is Wes? Do you think I left our relationship behind as if I shed old skin? Do you think I don't ever think about you? About us?"

"That's the privilege of the one who demands the breakup."

"I just wanted you to understand Wes was important to me too."

"Wes was obviously the most important thing for you."

"The promise I made to you was the most important thing to me!" she yelled, getting up from where she was sitting. "Keeping that promise is what kept me going, Alex."

He rose to his feet as well. "Three times. You chose him over me. Three times. And now I'm supposed to believe he was never more important to you than I was?"

"You didn't have to be a dick when you went to the year 2001."

"You didn't have to fall in love with another man."

"You could have let us keep our memories!"

"I did!"

Jen broke into tears as she whispered, with a small and sad voice. "You could have stopped me."

"You were already gone, Jennifer."

"I had never seen you give up on anything. You never quit. You fought until you achieved it, until you conquered, until you won. You never gave up on anything... and yet, you gave up on me. You gave up on us."

"You were already gone, Jen."

"You could have asked to talk to me when I got back. You could have ordered them to force us back into those machines. You could have fought! But you just... You just gave up on me."

"Compelled love is not love, Jen. You didn't want to be with me. I didn't ask you for a second chance because I know you'd be polite enough to say yes. And then what?". He stepped away from her. "Six months of pretending to go on dates when we both know you'd rather be with someone else? Six months of grinding, and pulling, and forcing each other only to realize once again that it was never real? I didn't give up on you, Jennifer. I let you go." She approached him and tried to caress his cheek, but he moved her hand away. So she tried with the other hand and he did the same.

"Alex," she called, struggling with him. "Alex, please." Her begging came from her very soul. "Please! Just let me touch you!" she begged, tears streaming down her cheeks.

He closed his eyes and let her hands go. She ran her fingers through his hair. She caressed his cheek. She ran her thumb over his lips. His expression was pained, but he didn't stop her.

She took the last step between them and hugged him tightly.She cried against his shoulders for a minute until she felt his hand caressing her head while his other arm pulled her even closer to him.

"I just need to know that you're really here," she said between sobs. He kissed the side of her head as he ran his hand up and down her back. Just like he used to. "Sometimes I wonder... I wonder if you're really here. Sometimes I wonder if this is all happening in my head and I'm tucked away in some mental hospital because my sanity shattered the day Ransik killed you. Sometimes I wonder if you're really here."

"I'm right here, Jen." His whisper was sweet, like when he wanted to make her feel safe when she was scared.

The hug lasted a long time. They could hear each other sniff every now and then but neither was willing to break the contact.

Finally they parted, and Jen took a step back. "We both died, Alex." As response, he dried the tears on her cheeks. "When Ransik almost killed you, we both died. Even if it was for just one heartbeat." He kissed her on the forehead. "I'm not that Jen and you are not that Alex. Not anymore. You're not my knight in shining armor and I'm not your little bird anymore."

"Oh, no, of course not," he said softly, his thumb still caressing her cheeks. Her gaze was lost in the back of the elevator. "Hey," he called. "Hey." She looked at him. "You have become everything I knew you could be. You're strong capable, confident, self-assured, and a great leader. You're not my little bird anymore, Jen." He stopped so he could smile at her and caress her hair. "You are an eagle. And I love to watch you soar so much."

She was crying again as he smiled proudly at her.

"Alex," she finally choked out. It was him who closed the space between them this time. He hugged her tightly and she buried her face in the base of his neck, her arms wrapped tightly around him.

"I love you, Jennifer. I think I will love you all of my life. I would do anything to get you back."

She looked into his eyes. "Anything?"

"Anything."

"Would you stop for me?" She asked in a whispered. "Would you shut down everything else just to be with me and only me? For a week? For a weekend? For an afternoon?"

"Yes."

"You don't mean that."

"When have I ever made false promises to you, Jen?"

Silence fell between them again, as he caressed her cheek, looking at her eyes, and she returned the gaze with her fingers running through his hair.

"We can't go back to what we had," he said. "Because you're right, we're new people. But I am willing to get to know this Jen, if she'd be willing to get to know this Alex."

She moved further back to look at his face. In one swift motion, to keep him from stopping her, she kissed him. It was a brief and chaste kiss.

Afterwards, she stepped backwards again and offered her hand. "Jennifer Scotts," she said, looking at him.

He tookit. "Alex Drake."

In that moment, the elevator panel beeped twice and the screen showed "System resetting."

Alex and Jen hurried to put their uniforms back on. While they were zipping up their jackets, the elevator started moving.

It opened on their floor. They were waiting for them with water and a paramedic to check their vitals signs. Alex took a bottle of water, opened it, and handed it over to Jen. He took a second one for himself.

"If you don't mind," Alex started, making Captain Logan look at him. "Captain Scotts and I will take the rest of the afternoon," he said. He turned to look at her, but Jen didn't turn to him. However, she smiling and blushing slightly. "Make that the weekend."

"Yes, sir."

Satisfied that they were healthy, the paramedics left, as well as Logan.

"You stopped," she said, smiling at him.

"Anything, Jennifer," he said, his hand tenderly on her jaw. "I'd do anything to get you back."

[dinoswordsb]

and 50 (bennifer specific pls)

50: Talk about anything you want.

Ohhh man...ohhh man where do I even start.........

I typed this all out in a feverish state so ermmm read more ig LAWL! Also inviting @nt3000s to add anything, I didn't mention a lot in the grand scheme of things and also maybe misrepresented Jen I don't know but I will be mostly speaking about bens side I think. Either way this is a very broad overview bc I've never gotten the chance to even really dump about that

Also a couple things are mentioned in passing I want to mention namely sexual assault, self harm and suicide but none of this is really in any kind of detail

I always tag Bennifer with all this shit that sounds contradictory like they hate each other they're ripping each other apart but they love each other they're doomed to be together they're destined for it etc etc but you have to trust me. When I say it is literally all of those things.

Ben belongs to me and he is your typical tormented repressed transfag caught in the bonds of late 90s society and his conservative upbringing while Jennifer belongs to my Buddy I tagged up there is also a transfag but in a different direction and I think the best way I can summarize him is he seems insane but really all of it is calculated for everyone to hate him on purpose(and he is a nurse that kills people) and the thing about them is that they are doomed from the start and somehow when they come together that cancels out and they make it out of anything but their own lives alive(also they are silent hill ocs but like that. Barely even matters anymore)

I think the way this happens is they're entirely different at first glance but if you dig a little deeper they are exactly the fucking same in ways they can't imagine even if it manifests on opposite ends of a spectrum ex: Jen is always the center of attention while Ben cannot stand anyone even so much as looking at him most of the time, Jennifer harms others as a source of control while Ben only hurts himself(both of these behaviors manifest from a life filled with nothing but sorrow), Jen is terminally ill and is running on a ticking clock while Ben has a sound body but his mental illness is so debilitating he is looking for any way he can be dead without doing it himself(that is a sin)((he asks Jennifer to kill him and he can't do it)) and my personal favorite due to feeling like nothing but a body because of sexual assault Jen leans into it in a superficial way having sex as often as he can get away with Ben will lose his mind if somebody touches him beyond like. His hands or something. That's not even touching on the Murders

And the way this works is they meet and they hate each other at first with their own selfish motives Ben wants to sacrifice Jen for God's approval to serve as some sort of martyr and Jen sees Ben for what he is, which is somebody very unsound and potentially dangerous and wants to see if he can make him break. But wouldn't you know it those similarities start to surface and in some desperate attempt for any kind of human connection they get attached. Against any better judgment. I can only speak for Ben's side but he sees himself in the other and it's more human connection and familiarity than he has known in his entire life and for once he does not feel entirely alienated by this guy he just met.

And that's the basis of the whole relationship they are such awful and broken people it can go wrong in a million ways Jen can kill Ben Ben can kill Jen they can escape silent hill and try to make things work and they don't because they're so stubborn and terrible at their cores, but when the stars align sometimes they can ride out the rest of their lives and heal as much as somebody can when you've lived the lives they have. But how it plays out doesn't matter it doesn't matter how they meet if they're even in Silent Hill or if they end up murdering each other or how awful their story ends because whatever happens that connection is still there it's always there and there is always love. At the end of the day no matter how small it is they will always love each other. Even if it's for one passing moment or if it's for the rest of their lives or if it's because Ben has a gun to his head and he's so thankful to finally be dead he loves Jen as the executioner or if it's because Ben has his hands around Jens throat and Jennifer in an effort to come out on top one last time kisses Ben, the love is always there and it always matters because it's all they have ever known. They always end each other or if not end each other they are with each other until the end. They're a package deal at this point in any universe or au or whatever

And so yea -putting away my 50 slide pp presentation- thats basically a crash course there's like 1 million more things. I could talk about. But ermmmm ya ^_^ blorbos from our heads

[lightsovermonaco]

Speed and Stress: Part 2

Masterlist

Thank you to @acollectionofficsandshit for betaing, your comments on this one were unhinged gold 

Word Count: 3.1k

Recommended Vibes: “Perfect Day” by Tundra Beats

Part 1

Your brother was late. Not that anyone was surprised.

“Got the time mixed up,” he says as you climb into his absurdly tall truck. Living in Texas for three years had turned him into somewhat of a country boy, though not enough that he forgot his upbringing. He was still a blue blooded Los Angeles boy, just with a love for trucks and longhorn cattle.

“At least I wasn’t waiting for an hour this time,” you say and sling your bag to the backseat. Deciding to get right to the good stuff, you clasp  your hands together. “So! I have some news.”

Hunter grins at you. “You finally found a job?”

You roll your eyes and shoot him a pointed look. “No, dipshit. Better than that. I got us paddock passes for the whole weekend.”

“WHAT?” He jerks the wheel, horns honking at you as other drivers swerve. You grab the dash to steady yourself, laughing at his outburst. “Do you know how hard it was for me to get general admission tickets? How the hell did you get paddock passes?”

“May have met someone pretty high up at McLaren in Los Angeles,” you say, examining your nails.

“Like, Zak Brown? You met Zak Brown?” Hunter was such a fan boy, you had to laugh. His love for McLaren ran so deep he practically bled blue and orange. The only reason you watched the sport was because of him shoving it down your throat for years, but damn if you weren't glad for it.

“Daniel Ricciardo.”

Hunter choked on air but managed to stay in his lane this time. “And you waited until now to tell me?”

“I didn’t know it was him when I met him! He was on a motorcycle and I stopped to help film a tiktok and then-”

“Of course you’d stop,” he mutters, shaking his head. “You’re a sucker for bikes.”

“Yeah well, lucky that I am, cause all I had to do was flirt to get us those passes.”

Your intention had never been to take advantage of Daniel. It was more the opposite in fact; you were just living in the moment and capitalizing on the once in a lifetime opportunity to flirt with your celebrity crush. You had to admit, it turned out better than you'd ever thought it would.

“I can’t believe you seduced Daniel freakin’ Ricciardo,” he says, shaking his head. “You astound me.”

“I didn’t seduce him!” You protest.

"Sorry my bad. You charmed him. That sound better?"

You roll your eyes. "Whatever. I damn near had a heart attack when I figured out it was him but he was kind enough to let me brush it off."

"Well, thank god for your two-wheeled obsession because without it, we would be watching the prix from the nosebleeds."

You laugh and shake your head. Hunter tended to have a poor filter when he was excited and tended to spew whatever was on his mind. "Just watch your tongue this weekend, alright? I'd rather embarrass myself than have you do it for me."

Hunter gives a mock salute. "Yes ma'am."

**********

You'd stuffed five different outfits in your bag in preparation for the grand prix weekend. In theory, it shouldn't be hard to decide what to wear. But Friday morning you changed clothes so many times you lost count. No matter what combination you tried you weren't satisfied.

Finally, you give up and settle on a McLaren polo and denim shorts. Simple and comfortable, but form fitting enough to catch Daniel's eye should you run into him.

You knew you shouldn't, but you pull out your phone to text him anyway.

Thanks again for the tickets. Let me know if you've got any free time so I can properly thank you!

You hit send before your brain has the chance to overanalyze the message. You check your phone obsessively the entire drive to the circuit, only half expecting a response. You tuck your phone in your pocket when you get to the gates, determined not to let it get to you. Daniel warned you he would be busy, and you knew that responding to you was likely on the low end of his list of priorities.

Hunter gets you to the circuit a half hour before they let fans in and you have to listen to him ramble about driver stats the entire time. Normally you don't mind; guessing who's most likely to win each Sunday is something of a competition in your household. But today, you couldn't focus enough to put any thought into your prediction, instead just blurting Daniel's name.

"You're only saying that cause he's into you," Hunter says, grinning savagely. "He struggles in Austin and you know it."

"So? He's in a McLaren this year. You saw his pace in Bahrain, and that was with a damaged floor! He'll podium for sure." You cross your arms and return his grin. "Besides, he's motivated."

"Oh, is he?"

"I told him I'd buy the winner of the United States grand prix a drink. Up to him whether it's him or Verstappen."

"Oh my god you have a date with Daniel Ricciardo?"

"Dude, chill out. It's not set in stone. Honestly, he's probably forgotten that I exist."

"Has he texted you?"

You glance down at your phone and are greeted with an empty inbox. "No. Not after the initial time so I could have his number." You shrug and pick an invisible piece of lint from your arm. "But he said he'd be too busy anyway."

"Guess we'll see once we get to will call, huh? If he's forgotten about you."

"Yeah." An odd feeling rolls through you. It feels a bit like nerves mixed with hope, but you stamp down on it. You were here to enjoy yourself. The trip of a lifetime had been handed to you on a golden platter and you were wont to let something as trivial as nervousness ruin it.

Bells chime as you step into the blissfully cool will call office. A blonde woman with a bit too much blush dusted on her cheeks greets you with a smile. 

"What can I do for you?"

"Picking up some tickets that were left for me by a driver?" You try, unsure of the proper procedure. "I don't have a paper or anything."

She waves a hand in the air as if she expected as much. "All I need is your identification. They should be under the name."

"Oh uh, of course." You motion for Hunter to hand over your wallet and show the woman your driver's license.

"Great. Wait here and I'll grab those for you."

You drum your fingers on the desk while waiting for her to return. After what feels like ages she re-emerges empty handed.

"I'm not seeing anything here with your name on it," she says, her plastic smile at odds with her sincerity. "I'm afraid your tickets aren't valid until Sunday."

"Can you double check? Daniel said they'd be here-"

"So sorry. There's no record of anyone dropping tickets off for you."

You blink, holding your tongue in the face of her blunt response. "Okay. I guess ill try and get it sorted out."

Hunter breaks the tension. "Can't you call him?"

"I can't just call him, I'm sure he's busy."

"Either that or we don't get in. Just do it, he gave you his number and specifically told you to let him know if there were any problems, didn't he?"

Yes he had, but that didn't mean you wanted to disturb him. He was probably knees deep in some sort of race weekend press conference or drivers meeting and heaven forbid you interrupt.  But it was either that or you slink home disappointed and empty handed.

"Fine," you grumble, pulling out your phone with deliberate slowness. Hunter crosses his arms and tips his head to the side, a smile playing on his lips.

"Well?"

"It's dialing, you good for nothing busybody-"

"I was wondering how long it would take you to call," Daniel answers, voice radiating sunshine.

You cut right to the chase, not giving yourself a single second to evaluate how your heart skips. "Look, I don't wanna distract you on a race weekend but I'm at will call and they're telling me they can't find any passes left for me."

"Let me guess," he starts, raising his voice to be heard over the pneumatic tools in the background, "You're dealing with Jenny?"

Your eyes fall to the name on the woman's lanyard. She shifts under your gaze like she knew exactly who you were on the phone with. "Yep. Spot on."

"Kinda figured she would be a problem. She's got a huge crush on me and does this every time."

You fight back the strange sensation his offhand comment brings to the surface. "Oh, really?"

"I'll be right there. Give me ten minutes or so."

"Oh you don't have to-"

"Hey, no big deal. I gotta go that way anyway."

"Uh, okay. See you soon?"

"Yup. On my way."

You hang up and stare down at the phone, stunned.

"Well?" Hunter asks.

"I guess he's coming here to sort it out himself."

He blinks rapidly and shakes his head. "Hold on. Are you telling me that I get to meet Daniel? Like right now?"

"Can you relax?" You laugh lightly. "Honestly you're gonna freak him out."

"Uh, yeah sure. No big deal, just meeting one of my favorite drivers in the minus five minutes and I'm completely unprepared. It's fine."

If you roll your eyes any harder they'd pop out of your head. "Relax. He's laid back, but I don't want you to freak out and embarrass us both."

"Excuse me," Jenny breaks in, her distaste clear. "Please move aside if you're not picking up passes."

"Er, yeah. Sorry." You shuffle awkwardly off to the side to wait. Cheesy elevator music plays and Jenny shoots you glares until the door squeaks open and the human incarnation of the sun steps inside. Your breathing stutters when the Australian shoots you a wink and a grin before sauntering up to the counter.

"Why hello there Jen," he says, and she giggles coyly. 

"Hi Daniel." She lays a hand on his forearm, the touch light and flirty. "What can I help you with?"

Daniel leans into her, whispering conspiratorially. Whatever he says has her bold smile faltering, replaced by a mask of professional cheer. Daniel shoots you another wink as the woman retreats to a back room, returning moments later with your supposedly missing passes.

"Thank you," Daniel says sweetly, taking them from her and turning to you. "I think these are yours."

"Thanks." You take the passes and hand one off to your awestruck brother. You nudge him and he comes to his senses in time to shake the hand Daniel sticks out.

"You must be the brother," he says. "I see you're a fan."

Dressed head to toe in McLaren colors, there was no other conclusion for Daniel to draw. For once your brother is the one stunned into silence so you answer for him, "Yeah, only a little. He was crushed when you left Red Bull cause Max is his other favorite driver and now he has to split his loyalties between teams."

Dan's laugh snaps Hunter out of his trance. "I know you're busy but do you think you can sign something for me?"

"Of course. How about this?" Daniel snatches the hat from Hunter's head and produces a sharpie from his pocket, signing the brim with practiced efficiency. 

"He'll be texting the group chat about that as soon as you're gone," you tell Daniel who laughs along with you.

Heat rises to your cheeks as Daniel's assessing gaze sweeps you from head to toe. "McLaren orange looks good on you."

Channeling his easy confidence you flash him a grin. "Not as good as it looks on you."

He smooths the hem of his soft shell jacket, smile turning bashful. "Anyway. I gotta run. See you Sunday after I win!"

Your eyes follow him as he jogs back through the paddock until he's swallowed by the crowd. You sigh, shifting your weight from foot to foot. God, he was gorgeous. And he had such a big heart. It was a shame someone hadn't snatched him up yet, but then again, that meant you still had a shot, even if it was a slim one.

"So where exactly do these get us?" Hunter toys with the lanyard now placed around his neck. "It doesn't say."

"I'm guessing the McLaren lounge," you say and point to the logo on the passes. "Above the garage."

"That's the perfect vantage point for practice."

And it was the perfect view- before getting in the car Daniel walked out into the pit, suited up in his cobalt racesuit and minty helmet and glanced up. You weren't sure if he saw you or not when you waved but he gave a little salute nonetheless.

Hunter was practically glued to the bank of floor to ceiling windows for the entirety of free practice, immersing himself in the experience. You found yourself glancing at the timing tables every lap, silently hoping to see the RIC tag move up. By the end of the second session he had been fourth fastest, a few tenths behind both Mercedes and the Red Bull of Verstappen. 

By the time you make it back to Hunter's house, you're both exhausted from a full day of running up and down the paddock. The pair of you had been determined to soak up every second of it, sneaking into whatever offices you could and stealing bites off the buffets and cups of coffee. 

Saturday’s free practice and qualifying session pass in a blur of color. Daniel drags his McLaren up the ranks to qualify fourth, his best starting position so far this season. He had a decent shot at the podium- Bottas should be easy pickings and if Verstappen and Hamilton made any mistakes, Daniel might even have a shot at the win.

The excitement in the air is palpable as you both flash your badges and head back up the now familiar path to the McLaren lounge. An hour before lights out, the v6 engines rumble to life below. You venture out onto the balcony, watching and waiting for a glimpse of Daniel.

The Aussie does you one better by walking out, race suit on and helmet in hand. He chats animatedly with Michael before stopping and craning his neck upwards. Michael nudges him with his elbow but Dan ignores him, answering your tiny wave with a wink. He mimes taking a drink and you roll your eyes.

Dan throws his head back and laughs, audible over the cacophony below. He gives you one final salute before Michael drags him back into the garage.

Ten minutes later cars begin streaming out on track, Daniel taking the fourth grid place as his mechanics once again swarm him. Tire blankets are secured, keeping them warm and pliable ahead of the formation lap. Thirty seconds before the boys are released, they're peeled back off as everyone scrambles off the pavement. Verstappen leads them away down the 3.4 mile track for the formation lap. Dan does a few small power slides before taking his place on the second row.

One by one, the red lights illuminate and disappear quicker than your blink. Daniel gets away clean while Bottas stumbles out of the gate, leaving himself wide open for Daniel's overtake on his right side. Cheers erupt around you, your brother going so far as to lift you off your feet.

Maybe Dan had a shot at winning after all.

A nail-biting 38 laps pass without a change in the order of the top three. Finally, a mistake in Max's pit stop sees him return to track third, just behind Daniel. The McLaren driver puts up the fight of his life, late braking at every corner and defending his position for all he was worth. Lewis was twenty seconds ahead- he wouldn't be winning but he could defend his second place spot.

Lewis Hamilton, race winner for the seventh time at the Circuit of the Americas!

Daniel Ricciardo crosses the line second, Max Verstappen takes home that last podium step for Red Bull. An astonishing fifty six laps here today in Austin!

The box erupts around you, a roar of cheers making it impossible to hear what else Crofty and Brundle were saying. But it didn't matter as Daniel raises his fist when he swings back into parc ferme, jumping out to be congratulated by his team. It was his first podium for the papaya team and you can tell it means the world to them.

"Looks like you're taking Lewis out for a drink," your brother teases. "Told you he wouldn't win."

"He almost won," you counter. "But hey, I'm not above asking Lewis on a date. Could you imagine? I mean, he would never agree, but still. It would be a hell of a date."

If you crane your neck from the balcony, you can just barely see the podium. Everyone goes quiet for the anthems and erupts again when the champagne is sprayed. The McLaren team chant for a shoey, which Daniel obliges. He sits to unlace his mint green boot and pours champagne into it, drinking from the boot before passing it to Max who joins in on the fun. 

Just as quickly as it began, the celebrations ebb. Daniel is the first to leave the podium which seems odd, given that the PR department surely wants his first big win for the team to be well documented.

Your phone buzzes a second layer. You fish it out of your pocket, a Cheshire grin splitting your face.

"Shouldn't you be busy celebrating?"

"I am," Dan starts, sounding breathless. You can barely hear him over the sound of the crowds chants behind him. "But I want to celebrate with you. I know I didn't win, but how about you let me buy you a drink instead?"

You barely hear anything beyond his first sentence. I want to celebrate with you. Were you dreaming? There was no way this was real.

"Um, I'm sorry, you want to celebrate by going out with me instead of your team?"

"If you'll let me. Hey- just text me okay? I can barely hear you over everyone screaming my name. It may be going to my head."

You laugh, drawing the attention of the vip's nearest you. You give an apologetic smile and move further from the crowd. "I'll text you an address. See you later, second place."

[chiizuburger]

i restarted midway my s1 journey and i know we’ve all got our own ideas of every character’s backstory and motivation , so this is mine 😅

litg s1 is very much the first season of any show because none of the participants had any idea what was in store for them.

out of all the s1 islanders, i think only mason, allegra, and reese really got the assignment from the get-go. they get to be on tv and they get to hook up with hot people. plus, if they play it right, they can win a ton of cash.

but as the show went on, allegra sort of shifted perspective (esp after cherrygate) and just chose to enjoy her time in the villa.

i think mason changed approach too, but still aimed to win.

levi and rohan thought they understood the assignment, but when they were actually in the villa, they got too shaken by the reality that the whole competition is about finding a relationship. you gotta be upfront about your feelings (or at least let them hear what they want to hear) and be prepared to hurt someone or not get what you want.

jasper sort of understood the show, but didn’t think of it much. he just wants to enjoy himself and maybe take the chance to meet someone he may take seriously.

and to me, among the boys, it is tim, miles, and jake who came into the show with the mindset of “oh, this is gonna be a great story to tell afterwards!” (tim / miles) and “this is going to be a great break from the usual!” (jake)

though given how jake suddenly became an li towards the end, something clicked in him. kind of like how player!bobby started out trying to play to win, but he never expected to fall for someone in the villa. and so, when he accepted he does have serious feelings for the mc, that’s when he shifted agenda. (so funny that the chefs seem to have that shift in the end haha!)

with the girls, i imagine talia, jen, and cherry joined the show with the main idea of getting a chance to mingle with people who are not often part of their social circle. and perhaps try their luck when it comes to romance and finding spark, but talia was the first to put a pin on that esp when she knew jake was better as a friend than a romantic partner.

erikah was completely determined to enter the show and find love. the cash prize for her is secondary. so naturally when mc was the popular girl, she obviously just felt defeated.

but i do think she considered mc as a friend. i think mc was the only gal pal she considered to be friends with. if the whole show wasn’t about trying to find love and finding the right partner, i think erikah would have appreciated the rap crew better.

if there would be an all star season, erikah will be first in line and will pull a r/hannah glow up and enjoy the show better.

and i wanna think her more chill approach will bring her to the end.

rohan should make a return as well. he definitely deserved better!

also! omg sammi!! i loved sammi! haha she also needs to take part in an all star season.

(though i wonder what it means to have an all star season in love island? haha because kinda sad if any of the strong couples came back because it means it didn’t work out??? but tbh, bring it on if bobby and talia are gonna be part of an all star season. talia and bobby, in my head, are like tim and mc)

[biznichwrites]

Biiiiz, may I please have a NSFW scene where Sabito dares Giyuu to have sex with his (Sabito’s) female s/o, and he gives in while watching them go at it— so it results in a dp? 🤤 Thank you!!! 💜✨✨✨ 

ANYTHING FOR MY LORD AND SAVIOR JEN.

@dudeandduchess I hope you like this. 

---------------------------------------------

"What-- you want me to….?" Giyuu's tongue caught in his throat, the man choking on his own words as the other water pillar seemed to laugh as if he hadn't given the shorter man a heart attack. 

"I bet you can't fuck her. And I'm right, aren't I?" The knowing grin on his lips was a sign of his calculating nature - he was steps ahead of everyone when it came to sexually deviant plans, especially when Giyuu was involved. "It's a shame, she did wonder what it'd be like with you. She said you'd be soft and gentle, but I think she's just wishful since I'm rough on her."

"You- she thinks- you're rough? Why would you hurt her?" Giyuu tried to gloss over the part where the peach haired man admitted his girlfriend fantasized about him, apparently openly enough to admit it to her boyfriend. 

"That's what she likes, at least it's what she likes when I have her on her hands and knees." He didn't miss the way Giyuu's cheeks tinted pink lightly as he looked away. "If you heard the way she moans, then you'd know I was pleasing her more than anything."

Giyuu's eyes flickered between the other pillar and the ground a few times as he tried to imagine her moans before shaking his head. Maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't hurt to indulge himself this one time. It was Sabito's girlfriend, it'd be awkward the next time he saw her, but it was someone he trusted - someone he had a crush on, if he were being fully honest. So how could he pass an opportunity like this? 

"Fine. I'll do it." Even if Giyuu was facing the ground he could feel the way Sabito's lips curled into a cunning smile. 

"Perfect."

---------------------------------------------

Blue eyes flickered in the room, from one face of the couple to the other as they lounged against the table as if Sabito hadn't orchestrated adultery for his own amusement. A few drinks of sake were shared, enough to calm his nerves before he made himself nauseous with anxiety. Giyuu couldn't wipe the blush off his face as he stared at (y/n), openly taking in her features even if he would deny he was doing so later. 

"She's pretty, isn't she?" Sabito's voice broke through Giyuu's gawking, causing his eyes to widen at him as he gripped the cloth along his leg in embarrassment. The other pillar already knew he was embarrassed, he didn't need additional reminders. Still, he wasn't wrong. She was beautiful - with eyes he wanted to look into at all times, a cute smile on well framed lips, perfect curve of her nose - he couldn't deny it. 

"Yes… very pretty." Giyuu didn't miss the way she preened at their attention, the way her lips curved upward and cheeks tinted pink. It was far too adorable, too innocent for the thoughts he knew she had of him. But that's what made this alluring - he could see a different part of her, a side he hadn't been allowed to see before. 

"Thank you, Giyuu." He swore her eyes glittered at his praise and he wondered how much he could make her react if she was so responsive at something as simple as a compliment. A pat on the shoulder from Sabito with a nod was given to her, as if he had given his permission. Slowly she moved closer, crawling around the table to sit by Giyuu's side. 

Tension rose as he expected something intense, lewd in nature. In a rather pleasant surprise she settled next to him, her thigh pressed against his with a head on his shoulder as her hand pulled his fingers away from their grip on his yukata. Tenderly her hands closed around his, their fingers weaving together as if it were natural. His face flushed deeply as he felt his heart skip a beat. 

"I know you're nervous. We can go slow." Her words were sealed with a soft kiss to his cheek that left his face hot. The affection for her that he begged to lay dormant within him crept to the surface and he dared not waste such a moment. With a nod he timidly returned the kiss to her temple, his hand trembling lightly in her hold as a mixture of anxiety and excitement grew within him. 

"You two look more like lovers than a couple of people getting ready to fuck." As much as Giyuu loved Sabito, he had a way of ruining  things for him. "What are you, a virgin?" 

"Sabito! Be nice to him. Just because he wants to go slower doesn't mean you need to speed things up. Besides, he's being sweet and I like it. Maybe you could learn a thing or two." Her rush to Giyuu's defense made him smile timidly. While it was a bit awkward to be in the middle of a bickering couple, it was more than heartwarming to know the woman he held affection for was quick to take his side and understand him. 

"You're the one that said you wanted to fuck him." Sabito rolled his eyes as he took a sip of sake, waving his hand at the pair before turning to face the engawa. 

"Things take time, Sabito. Don't pressure him. We have plenty of time, no need to rush." Her attention turned back to Giyuu, another kiss pressed to his cheek as his gaze settled on her. "Don't mind him, we can go at your pace." 

He felt his heart swelling and found it hard to not place a hand over his chest. His fingers enclosed around her hand and gave her palm a gentle squeeze. 

"You're cute, you know that? In a sweet way, it's nice." Again she placed a kiss to his cheek, narrowly missing the corner of his mouth. The way she encouraged him with affection and praise motivated him more than Sabito's provoking criticisms. With his free hand he brushed a piece of hair from her face, not missing how her cheeks flooded with color and plumped due to her smile. 

"You're really… Beautiful." It embarrassed him to say it out loud, but he didn't regret saying it - especially when happy hums, almost like cooing, echoed from her. His eyes trailed down to her lips, thoughts of kissing her filled his mind. That wasn't so bad, right? Especially compared to what Sabito had in mind. 

"You're handsome, especially your eyes." Her nose brushed against his as she tilted her upper body to face him more. Her lips pressed to his, giving into his wishes. It was good, too good - she was too good. Her lips were so soft yet they fit against his own perfectly. 

The kiss was chaste, simple to not overwhelm him. Yet he found himself growing excited at how gentle she was, how much care she treated him with. His saving grace being that he didn't arouse easily, or he would have been embarrassed at Sabito finding out that just a kiss and hand holding with a few affectionate words got him hard. 

She recognized he was embarrassed from the way his cheeks flushed, particularly the top of his cheeks hidden behind his hair burned red. The blush was far too adorable to be on a man that had killed hundreds of demons on his blade. And yet here he was, blushing heavily just for her. Maybe he was as inexperienced as Sabito said, but she always took Sabito's grandeur at face value. 

"Have you ever had sex with anyone before?" She wanted to at least have some bearing at his experience level before they started. If not to avoid overwhelming him, then at least to gage her expectations for his abilities. 

Giyuu's eyes flickered to Sabito's back, wondering if he had ever mentioned some of their exploration when they were younger. Was it sex? No, not truly, but it was sexual in nature. Light touches and watching each other to see what felt good. Things never escalated past that, especially when they became full fledged slayers that were busy on missions. 

He shook his head, a bit of unease washing over him. How could he compare to Sabito? She had to know they were on completely different levels. From how Sabito spoke of their escapades he had mastered her body. Giyuu had barely even seen a woman naked before. 

"Do you want me to take the lead for now?" One of her hands left their hold on his to cup his cheek. Unconsciously he leaned into the warmth of her touch and nodded. 

"Just tell me what you like." Even if he was unsure of himself, he'd do anything she asked for. 

"Well… I'd like for you to cuddle fuck me, but we can work up to that." Her casual laugh and smile really didn't match the words she spoke, at least not to him. He turned his face into her palm, as if hiding from her blunt answer. 

Taking her hand in his, he distracted himself by placing a few soft kisses from her palm to her finger tips. Happy hums entered his ears, clearly a noise of contentment from her. 

"Can I have a kiss? Please?" He had no idea why she would ask in such a way, but it did give him a small surge of pride - that she wanted his permission for just a kiss, that he had a tiny bit of power in the situation for once. Maybe this is the rush Sabito felt being the dominant force between the couple. 

His lips connected to hers without a second thought. Absently he was aware her hands had busied themselves along his neck, but he could care less when he could feel her warmth. How readily she responded, how her body moved with his as his hands pulled her closer by her waist - it pushed him into a world where nothing else mattered, just her and the touches they shared. 

As their kisses grew heated and lips parted he felt her tongue along his lower lip. He could almost moan at her taste when their wet muscles met. As gentle as ever she didn't fight him for dominance, rather just sensually rubbing her tongue along his, as if asking him to play with her. Her head tilted, pushing their mouths together just right as their heart rates increased. 

Her hands on his cheeks kept their kiss connected as she moved to sit on his lap. The relief in his neck sang praise to her idea, only to be silenced in comparison at his joy of feeling her body heat against him. He was painfully aware of the way her yukata parted to make room for her legs, leaving her thighs exposed. 

"And here I never thought you had it in you to be on top, even for a moment." Sabito teased his girlfriend, a smirk on his face as she broke the kiss to glare at him. Giyuu's face buried against her shoulder in embarrassment, prepared to hear that he wasn't a real man for letting her be on top. Still his hands held her steady on his lap, foregoing his distress at Sabito's opinion to make sure she didn't fall. 

"Sabito, you said you were just going to watch." Her pouting at her lover was cute to both men. Giyuu wanted to treasure such an adorable look while it made Sabito want to push her beyond making that expression. 

"You two haven't done anything worth watching yet. Your tits aren't even out either. Which is a shame, they look really cute when you're on your back." 

With a huff she turned back to the blue eyef man before her, biting her lip timidly as she took in his kiss drunk expression. 

"Would you like to see me naked?" She wouldn't admit it but she liked the idea of being naked before both men as they're fully clothed. Idly her fingers played down the exposed skin of Giyuu's chest as his yukata had shifted as they kissed. 

He nodded too eagerly, he knew his anticipation was too much to deny. Her hands pulled the obi along her waist, the cloth falling freely as the cloth of her yukata fell apart. His hands gripped the table behind her, somewhere to anchor himself as intimate flesh was revealed to him. 

"Will you undress me?" She didn't need to ask twice, not when his shaking hands pulled the fabric off her shoulders as the words left her mouth. His hands froze as her bare form was revealed to him, his mind reeling at her body. Blue eyes looked over her, taking in every inch of her skin, the curves of a woman he'd never seen before. 

"You're so beautiful." Captivating was really the best word, but all logical thought left him at the moment. His fingers forgot about her yukata, dropping it to hang in the bend of her arms as he grasped her waist, reveling in the soft skin. Leaning forward he kissed the center of her body, right below her breasts. Ocean eyes looked up at her, taking in the scent of her skin as he basked in her warmth. 

Her hands rested atop his head, combing her fingers through his hair. With a gentle urging of her fingers he tilted his head to one breast, opening his mouth to take her nipple between his lips. Both moaned, her at the sensation of his tender sucking and he at the taste of her skin. 

"Use your tongue- flick it." It was a breathless command, simple enough for him to follow through immediately. His hands flattened against her back as her spine arched, pushing her chest toward his pleasurable mouth. 

Sabito watched, not saying a word. He wanted to teach Giyuu what to do, how to touch her. For better or worse he agreed to not do that, at least the first time. She wanted to know how Giyuu would touch her without outside influence. Still Sabito thought it was a shame he couldn't latch to her other nipple. At least her bare, arched back was a pretty view. 

Giyuu switched sides, his eyes had grown unfocused and hazy as his thoughts scattered. For the moment all he cared about was pleasing her, hearing more of those pretty sighs that were painfully close to a moan. His tongue circled the neglected nipple before sucking it between his lips to nibble and tease. 

"Giyuu…" The softest moan of his name poured from her lips as she rolled her hips down, body screaming for friction to feed the fire of her need. Her hips shifted forward, leaving her sitting atop his cock. The movement pushed his yukata out of the way, thanks to her knees, but the fundoshi he wore separated them. 

His hands dropped to her hips, lightly grasping as she grinded her damp folds against his covered length. A soft groan was pulled from him, leaving his forehead pressed between her breasts as he gasped a silent breath. Her hips were unrelenting, even as he tried to hold her still. She was too eager and he dared not hold her tight enough to leave a bruise. 

"Put her on her back, she likes it." Even if Sabito told himself just to watch, he didn't want their fun to be over too soon. Not to mention he wanted a better view than just her back. He wants a whole show, not just some teasing. God help him if they cum from something so mundane and decide to stop before he can even get interested enough to wrap his hand around his cock. 

The girlfriend in question tilted her head back as her lover before looking forward at Giyuu with a hint of a playful smile. His hands guided her back, the swell of her ass bumping against the table before he lightly lifted her to sit atop it with her legs splayed open around his own. As he rose to his knees she dipped her head to meet his lips in a kiss. 

His hands pushed the yukata off her arms fully, his touch more confident than before. With her arms free she pushed his yukata off as well and reached for his fundoshi, a little displeased he wore it knowing well what their intentions were today. Still, she knew in her head that he'd never be so lewd as to walk around without proper clothing. He just wasn't that type of man. Her teeth bit as his lower lip tugging it as she pulled away before letting it slip from her hold. 

The moan he let out was airy, light, above all needy. Despite his innocence, he couldn't have looked more erotic, especially as his eyes lidded and cheeks darkened. His hands gripped her, one on the small of her back and the other on her breast, pinching the nipple below his fingers. Her own impure noises joined his before muffling herself against his neck. 

She placed attention along the column of his throat, tracing the line of his pulse with her lips - teasing with licks, nips, kisses - anything that made his breath stutter. Her hands went to work untying his undergarments as her lips sealed over the slope of his neck. It was a merciful spot, closer to the shoulder and easier to hide once the red flush left and filled in with bruising, leaving her mark on him. He should consider himself lucky she can pull off the twists of cloth so easily, no doubt due to repetition with Sabito. 

As the cloth dropped to the floor her chest swelled in pride as well as anticipation. She wondered what he looked like naked, if he was handsome in reality as she could make out behind his clothing. With one last nip to his collar bone she pulled back, gaze traveling from his chest downward. 

She could feel he was doing the same, especially as his hands rose to trace over the curve of her breasts, along her waist, down to her hips where his hands anchored themselves. Her eyes traced his toned muscles below pale skin, her own fingers tracing over scars along his abdomen. Unconsciously an airy noise left her as her nails scratched at his hips. A thin trail of dark hair traveled from his navel downward, stopping at the base of his length. It was obvious he had cleaned himself up for the occasion, not that she minded a bit.

Without a second thought her hand wrapped around his cock, stroking languidly. She wanted to take her time, feel the weight of it in her hand and watch as precum leaked from the tip. Carefully she pulled his foreskin back, just enough to expose the head but not the sensitive glands beneath. His hands fell to her thighs, gripping the soft flesh as her thumb traced over the slit on the head of his cock. If it didn't feel so good he would have been embarrassed at the whimper that slipped from his lips as she smeared the tip of his cock with his own juices. 

He felt the coil within him tighten and he knew he had to stop her. It was coming too fast, he didn't want things to end like this - he wanted to be inside her at least. His hand pushed her shoulder to urge her backward, one along her back to keep her from slamming against the table and hitting her head.

Deep blue eyes watched as she laid back, getting comfortable. For all that was worth, it didn't matter when his hands slid down to her hips to tug her to the very edge of the table. Her legs were forced open further as the position put her pussy on display for him. He had to bite his lower lip when he took her in, mindful that staring wasn't proper but uncaring as he watched a drop of her wetness leave her clenching core to soak her lower lips. 

Without a second thought he lunged forward, licking the escaping juices from her hole to her clit in a broad stroke. He did his best to forget about his weeping cock, ignoring how much harder he throbbed at her taste. A low groan echoed is his throat, reverberating against her cunt as he lapped at her folds. He wasn't sure what made women feel good, if anything he felt under prepared and cursed himself for blocking out most of Uzui's perverted ramblings about the sexcapades with his wives. He lives to regret that now. 

Still it didn't keep him from redoubling his efforts, licking passionately and noting any reaction of hers. The soft bud he bumped his nose against made her thighs tremble and he wasn't shy to wrap his lips around it. Taking initiative from how she instructed him to suck her nipples, he nibbled and flicked her clit with his tongue. More wetness greeted his chin and he prayed she'd be understanding that he needed to taste her. Dipping back down he pressed his tongue into her core, licking as deeply as he could as his nose bumped her clit. 

"Giyuu!" Her fingers dove into his inky locks, tugging the strands while keeping his face flush against her cunt. A deeper groan echoed from him, low enough to be considered a growl. Her shaking legs were held steady by his calloused hands, ignoring how they tried to close as her hips rolled against his face. "I-I can't - oh God. Please, don't stop. I'm gonna-" 

He didn't need to hear the rest, especially when a cry of pleasure broke from her. Harmonizing with her, he groaned deeply as he felt her clenching around his tongue as her hips  twisted with intensity against his face before her body went limp. He pulled away, watching her chest rise and fall as she remembered how to breath. His eyes flickered down to look at her spent pussy, dripping and flushed, swollen even, with the extra blood flow his actions caused. 

"(Y/N), you're really pretty." He didn't have the nerves within him to tell her directly that he thought she had a pretty pussy he would spend the rest of his life licking, but he hoped it sufficed. A small giggle bubbled from within her, tired and subdued, but still cute. 

Movement caught his attention, flicking his eyes from her sweat dampened face to see Sabito stroking himself at the scene. His hand was slow, taking his time as if to enjoy every moment of his girlfriend's playtime. 

The woman lazily turned on her stomach after shifting off the table, giving Giyuu a full view of her ass, as she crawled closer to Sabito. The way he could see just a hint of her cunt as her thighs became soaked with her juices was more than enough to distract him. Her whimpers up to her lover weren't missed by either men. 

"What is it? Didn't he make you cum?" Sabito's teasing didn't seem to affect her, especially as she dipped her head to lick at the base of his cock. Giyuu knew he should demand she come back to him, but watching the way her legs spread as she adjusted the weight on her knees left no room for discussion, especially as her pussy was put on display for him again. 

"Let me lick you." The peach haired man couldn't deny her pouting - not when she was so cute when doing it. He shifted higher on his knees, hand never leaving his length as her tongue licked her lips. Tenderly she kissed along his sack, moaning at the fullness, just knowing he had plenty of cum for her. Her tongue caressed his balls, lapping at the skin and bringing it into her mouth to lightly suck. 

"You're good, baby. But I think you forgot about your playmate." Giyuu sat tense as he watched his best friend reach to slap her ass. Even if she did moan, wasn't that brutal? "Now go back there and let him fuck you. Unless that part where you told me you wanted him to fill you with cum was a lie."

"No!" She whined, just like a brat, as her mouth left his body. "I want his cum, so don't tease me." A weak glare was sent his way as she turned to crawl towards Giyuu. Sabito would let most her sass go, but delivered a harsh smack against her ass that jolted her forward. 

Giyuu didn't wait for the cry she let out, so ignorant to the world of sex and the definite deferences between a yelp of pain and pleasure. He scooped her into his arms, pulling her chest to his and away from Sabito. Fingers brushed her hair from her face, searching her expression for distress. 

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Even if Sabito huffed at Giyuu, he didn't let go of her. Despite the fact it wasn't a bad slap, especially compared to some of the more brutal spankings he delivered, she cuddled into Giyuu's chest. It was nice to be immediately comforted. 

"I'm fine." It'd be tender for a little bit at worst, but by then she hoped to fucked out and unaware of much of anything. Still he looked over her shoulder, eyeing the red handprint on her skin. 

"Don't act like I'm abusing her, she's just soaking up the attention. Usually she's asking for more." Sabito laughed, not taking any of Giyuu's hard stares to heart. "She's not weak, she just likes being babied by you."

Giyuu was about to speak up when she nodded against his shoulder. Her eyes peeked up at him, so cute despite her lust. His heart swelled looking at her, especially when her lips pressed to his cheek. 

"You're such a sweetheart beneath your poker face." The praise, as innocent as it was, shot down to his cock. He prayed she didn't notice how he throbbed against her thigh. To keep his mind at bay he traced his fingers over the reddened flesh of her ass, petting the tender skin with reverence as if it would hurt her otherwise. It may have been an excuse to touch her, but above worshipping her form he wanted to provide comfort to her. 

"You two are such suckers for each other." Sabito felt a tinge of jealousy. He knew he could be gentle and get the same kind of reactions, but he didn't have the patience. He was fully planning on the both of them fucking like rabbits but he should have known better. Giyuu was a virgin with an obvious crush, of course he would take the time to treat the object of his affections in such a way. Still it was better than figuring out his best friend was into some absolute brutality in the bedroom. He'd rather deal with a lovesick fool between both choices. "Even if you don't spank her, which I don't understand why you wouldn't, you can still play with her ass if you like it so much."

Giyuu didn't want to admit it, but Sabito was right. His hands gently grasped the roundness of her ass, mindful to not dig his nails into her skin. She tucked herself closer, giving him a good view over her shoulder. Experimentally he squeezed, taking in the distinct combination of muscle and fat in his hands. Firm yet soft. Any hardness he had lost in worry for her was back at full force. 

"You like it?" It was a rhetorical question, but she wanted to hear his praise - not that she really needed more affirmation with his dick stiff and flush against her. Still he nodded, a soft yes muffled from his lips into her hair. She giggled to herself, glad he was treating her as if she were flawless. "Then watch this."

Her hold on his form let go, rather tucking her finger under the curve of her ass and pressing up, alternating sides causing her ass to jiggle. Sabito would have laughed at Giyuu's wide eyes if he wasn't captivated as well. The man in front of her felt his heart rate increase as it tried to slam out of his chest. His hands slide from the small of her back to where her own were, taking his opportunity to play with her body. 

She smirked to herself before tilting her head and kissing his cheek once more. "Can I play, too?" 

The woman didn't wait for an answer, rather pushing her ass out and moving until she was posed before him as she had in front of Sabito before. Those pretty blue eyes stared down at her, watching her movements. Her hand wrapped around his cock again, stroking lazily as she licked along the path of his happy trail, letting it lead her lower and lower. 

Giyuu gave up on making her almost lay on the floor for her prize, rather shifting to sit on his ass with his legs spread to give her room. Even if he wanted to keep groping her, he knew he needed to move on. His hands propped himself up, looking down at her as she pressed a kiss to the tip of his cock. His breath caught in his throat as she licked her lips with a hum, a sweet smile that was at odds with the fact she licked his precum from her mouth. 

"You taste good." As if that wasn't enough, she pressed the flat of her tongue along the underside of his cock, lapping from base to tip until the entirety of his length was soaked. Her hand glided over his dick with much less resistance, using just enough grip to use the extra skin to reduce friction while massaging the muscle beneath. Sabito must have taught her well, and for once Giyuu was glad the other water pillar was a pervert. 

"Tell me when you get close, okay?" He nodded deftly, watching as she kissed along his hips. Her hand slowed as her lips pressed to his sack, pressing open mouth kisses to the sensitive skin. Her tongue laved over his balls before taking one into her mouth, giving the most gentle suction with a hum that left his eyes rolled back. At this point she didn't even need to touch his cock, just her tender treatment of his balls could be enough to make him cum. 

Her other hand shifted below her, pressing the skin between his balls and hole, massaging gentle circles. Her hands gained a rhythm, working together to make him a shaking mess. Her hand tightly grasped the base of his cock right as he began throbbing, holding his release at bay as she drove him mad. It wasn't even fair, he couldn't even thrust into her mouth to find his end if he tried. 

"Damn baby, I never knew you were suck a cock tease." The lavender eyed man watched closely, taking in how her cunt clenched at the noises Giyuu made - which just caused her thighs to become a complete wreck of wetness - and how she lavished attention to the other water pillar. 

Parting her lips from Giyuu's balls, she gave the skin a tender lick before tilting her head over her shoulder. "He tastes good. And he's letting me do what I want, not being relentlessly  dominating like someone." Turning her head back to Giyuu she gave him a smile, sweet an adoring despite the fact they both needed the other to fuck them as soon as possible. "You're doing so good, Giyuu."

"You're just trying to get him horny enough to cum buckets." Sabito knew her game, he wasn't new to it in the slightest. Especially her breeding kink, something he conveniently forgot to tell Giyuu about. It was surprising she wasn't pregnant yet, as much as she made him cum inside her. For now he considered it a miracle. Perhaps Giyuu would have more luck. "Are you going to let him fuck you or are you gonna tease him to death? Have mercy on him, he's going to have blue balls, especially the way you've been sucking on them."

She bit her lip at the thought, her eyes locked with Giyuu's as her hand pulled his foreskin back, exposing the sensitive skin to her touch. His hip bucked up, fucking into her hand at the feeling of her finger tips gracing the delicate skin. 

"Do you want to cum?" The moment the words left her lips he nodded vigorously, panting an unintelligible mess of pleas. She squirmed in place at such an expression but she stayed on the task at hand. "I want to try something. It'll feel good but it'll take some time, okay?" 

Even if that confused him, he nodded anyway. He knew she was gentle and would never hurt him - not to mention she was more experienced, she knew what she was doing. She leaned forward, moving to hover over him. "You trust me, right? I promise I'll take good care of you." 

"Yes, (Y/N)." Despite the fact she had something in mind he leaned up to kiss her, a hand cupping her cheek. Inside he just wanted to tug her into his lap push up into her warm, wet depths, but he let it be for now. Parting from his lips, she nuzzled her nose against his for a moment before pulling away. 

"Just a moment." She padded across the room, hips swaying with her movement that captivated both men. Neither really watched what she was doing, rather staring at her ass and thighs until she returned with a bottle of oil and a few cloths. 

"Damn, baby. You're gonna do that?" Sabito gripped his dick tighter for a moment before letting go to keep his excitement at bay. 

"You make it sound sinister. I'm just going to make him feel good. I know what it's like anyway." Turning back to Giyuu she smoothed a hand over his thigh, her thumb rubbing soft circles over the smooth skin. "Lift your hips for me for just a second, okay?" 

While he complied with her demands tension grew in him. Just what was she going to do that would get such a reaction from Sabito? As she slid a cloth under him, her hands groped his ass, leaving his hips arched up as his shoulders laid against the floor. 

"You have a nice ass, too. You're so handsome." He blushed heavily at her compliments as his hips lowered back to the floor but his embarrassment didn't end there as she urged his legs apart. 

"What are you doing?" Timid blue eyes stared up at her, his face burning as he realized she could see all of him. 

"Don't be scared. I'm going to massage your prostate." She felt her explanation was enough, but the confused look in his eyes told her he didn't understand. His innocence to the deeper end of sexuality was cute. "You'll cum so hard, baby. I just have to work my fingers inside you and you'll love it, I promise." 

He was hyper aware how his hole clenched at just the sound of that, both fear and excitement of the myriads of possibilities filling him. Tracing her lips over his chest she latch to his nipple, sucking tenderly. His back arched into her touch, a moan falling from his lips as her hand pinched and rolled the unattended nipple between her fingers. 

"She's put her fingers inside her ass enough, she knows what to do." Sabito could almost laugh at the expression Giyuu made at that, his eyes wide without looking at her directly. Rather his eyes locked to Sabito's. 

"What?" 

"Oh, you'll see. I don't want to spoil her surprise for you." 

A shiver of anticipation wracked down his back at the thought of her pushing her fingers inside herself, no matter which entrance she used. A soft touch to his thighs brought his attention back to her. 

"Let me know if anything hurts or feels weird, okay?" He distinctly noticed the slickness of her fingers as they trailed over his inner thighs. Not once in his life did he think the flesh would be so sensitive, yet it has his toes curling at just the feeling. 

Her fingers trailed higher, tracing where his thigh met his groin. His eyelids fluttered at the feeling before a breathy moan followed as she caressed his length with one hand as the other massaged below his sack. 

A gasp of her name fell from his lips and he didn't care anymore. It felt good, even if he wished Sabito wasn't watching him being topped by his girlfriend. At the same time it filled him with pride - the more dominating male had to watch his lover service him, make him cum and praise him. It was more than he could have dreamed of, so his embarrassment was forgotten for the moment. 

Her slick finger traced his hole and he willed his body to relax. It felt odd at first, he couldn't deny that, but as she poured more oil over his taint and hole he found himself giving in. At least he understood the cloth was below him to allow her liberal use of oil. 

His ass twitched below her fingertips, slowly letting one finger pass through the first ring of muscle. She didn't press forward, rather massaging the spot towards the front of his body. He expected it to hurt but rather he felt warmth filling him, making his hips buck against her hand. 

"Want more, baby?" His eyes cracked, catching her expression - a mixture of warmth and lust. How did he get so lucky? Still he nodded, willing to accept anything she gave him. Her finger pushed past the second ring of muscles, frowning when he bit his lip with a wince. 

"I know, it'll be over soon." Just to have mercy on him she shifted her hand on his cock lower, cupping his balls and massaging them gently in her palm. Gently her finger within him put light pressure on his walls, a soft, pulsing feeling overtaking the ache within him. His hands reached for something to hold on to, unconsciously reaching to her and pulling her closer. 

She shifted herself to straddle one of his legs, grinding her soaked cunt against his thigh. Her finger partially withdrew from him, pushing back in experimentally. The way his back arched and legs tensed left her humping against his leg. The friction on her clit gave her both relief and frustration. Knowing it felt good she set a decent pace with her fingers while still searching for the spot within him that would drive him mad. Admittedly she had never done this before, but she prayed it felt good for him. 

"Fuck!" His cry echoed in the room as his hand gripped her thigh. Her free hand left his cock, watching it jump at every press of her fingers. He sat up, balancing on one elbow to watch her work. He couldn't see her fingers but he easily recognized the way his dick twitched. 

He pushed his leg up, stilling her for a moment as the pressure on her cunt pushed her to her knees. The hand on her hip wasted no time, dipping between her thighs to run her soaked folds. Her slick made it easy for him to side his fingers inside her, collecting her wetness on his fingertips before coming back to circle her clit. Her own hand matched his pace, pressing against his depths until he couldn't articulate his fingers any longer. 

"I want to eat you out." His breaths left him in a huff, drool beginning to drip from the corner of his mouth. A whine of desperation came from the usually quiet man. "You taste so good, let me." 

Her hands left him, just for a moment, to shift her body over him and hover her cunt over his face as she kissed over the length of his cock. Her oil slicked hand slid under his thigh, prodding at his hole to let her in again. As his hips bucked down, her other hand wrapped around his length and her lips sealed to his sack. 

Giyuu was almost embarrassed at his moan, the sensations in how lower body and the erotic sight of her swollen, dripping pussy leaving him unable to hold back. Strong arms looped her body, pulling her against his mouth. His tongue worked fast, frantically lapping at her lips and clit between nibbles and sucks. His fingers, still drenched in her cum, came around her hip to circle her second entrance as his other hand gripped one cheek, keeping her spread open for him. 

Both were consumed in the other, feeding off of the others high. Her hips rolled against his lips, dragging her cunt along his lower face and wetting it with her slick. His hips bucked up needy and demanding until she took his cock in her mouth. Her skilled tongue circled the head and pressed along the nerve-rich foreskin before sucking and her finger plummeted in and out of him before adding another digit. 

"You two are fucking sluts. Bitches in heat." Sabito's words sounded derogatory, but Giyuu could only think of (Y/N) becoming insatiable with lust for him - he needed to make sure he kept her happy and full of cum. "I can't wait to fuck both of you."

The thought of having his insides stroked while her cunt milked his cock was too much. Involuntarily his hips bucked - sending his cock into her mouth every move up and fucking himself on her fingers on the way down. He eagerly sucked her clit, praying to make her cum before he lost his mind. As a warm hand cupped his balls as she pressed against his prostate he knew it was all over. 

Cries were muffled against her pussy as his body trembled. Shakes consumed him as her fingers insistently prodded his gland and balls as he came. His eyes rolled back into his head as his body spasmed into oversensitivity as she prolonged his orgasm. 

He felt light headed as he came back down, breathing heavily through his nose as her warm cunt still graced his lips. Her back arched as she sat up, rolling her hips back as she chased her own release. Cum dripped from her lips, her throat and mouth full and past the point she could swallow, and it cascaded down her collarbone and chest. 

"I'm probably never going to say this again, but Giyuu - stop eating her out. You have to see this." It wasn't rare for Sabito to see his lover so debauched, but never when she had been in control before - not that he let that happen often. He wasn't as selfish as to deny the other water pillar the chance to see her like this. 

It took some effort, but Giyuu managed to pull himself from her lower lips to see what Sabito was talking about. The moment his eyes saw the sheer amount of his cum falling down her lips - how it trailed down her neck and breasts before dripping in her lap - brought stiffness to his softening erection.

"Please!" She was so close, feeling the tightened coils within her relax as the stimulation had been taken from her. Without shame her hand dipped between her thighs to stroke her cunt. No matter what she tried - massaging her clit in tight circles, pressing her fingers inside herself to mercilessly pound against her g spot - nothing got her close like before. If she weren't at the brink of a lust filled drop she would have yelled at Sabito. 

"I need to cum. Please." Both men looked at each other, almost as if to see if the other would move to fulfill her request first. She was so desperate, so needy, that neither could look away for more than a moment. Her hands gripped the cloth below her in frustration, about the jump the first one that moved. 

"Fuck her first. I have a few ideas for afterwards." Sabito urged Giyuu forward where his lover moved in, wrapping her arms around him and bringing his lips against hers. The taste of their cum mixed and the dark haired man couldn't deny it was heavenly. Maybe it'd be ironic to make Sabito lick her clean after he cums in her, just so he can appreciate how good they taste. 

Between heated kisses and dances with their tongues she has ended up on her back below him again. Her hand wrapped around his cock, stroking it with intent as she watched him harden fully. Heavy breaths puffed from their lips as she pressed the tip of his length to her clit. His hand took over, using his dick to rub between her folds to collect wetness before running against the pleasure bud of nerves. 

"I need you inside. Please, Giyuu." Her legs spread wider, opening herself to him fully. The head of his cock caught at her entrance and he felt like he was melting. This was really the moment - he would no longer be a virgin. Excitement and anxiety pulsed through him in waves as he wondered if he would last inside her. Blue eyes watched her soaked cunt as he pressed inside, meeting just the lightest resistance before her body stretched to allow him inside. He sunk in deeper and deeper, unaware how far he had gone within her until their hips met. 

"Oh my God, Giyuu-" 

"Fuck…" 

Both moaned, adjusting to the feeling of becoming one with the other. Her arms pulled him closer to her and her legs wrapped around his body, locking her ankles together behind his back. There was no need to hold on so tightly, especially when his arms encircled her, holding her close as his lips met hers in a messy kiss. 

His first thrusts were slow, unsure of what to do and how to move. Yet he slowly found a rhythm - balanced on his knees and elbows above her, kissing her breathless as his lower back put in the work of snapping his hips into her depths. 

"You're so warm, so good…" He wasn't even aware he was speaking, becoming too consumed in her loving heat to even think much about anything else. Subconsciously he knew he should think more of her pleasure and make sure she felt good too, but the moans muffled against his lips said as much as he needed to know.

"Giyuu, please. I need you." His head lifted to stare down at her, slowing his hips to roll deeply. 

"You have me. I'm all yours." He really meant it, too. For better or worse he was head over heels in love with her. He adjusted his arms, moving his hand to cup a breast. 

"I…" Her eyes shut tightly, brows furrowing as she bit her lip. "I need you to breed me." Her request came out as an airy moan, almost too quiet to be heard. Hearing that his hips slammed into her hard and deep before stilling. 

"Breed you?" He felt his hands shake at the thought - of her taking his cum, her stomach swelling with his child. It was a symbol of their connection, of his love to her. His hand on her breast strengthened its grasp, pinching his nipple between his fingers. "You want me to put a baby in you?" 

Her head nodded so fast it was dizzying. Feminine legs adjusted themselves, bringing her knees to her chest to allow him even deeper. His eyes took her in, how she displayed herself for him - how she put herself into a breeding press for him. All that was left was for him to follow suit. 

His legs adjusted, pushing himself atop her further. His thighs rested atop her ass as gravity let him push in deep enough to meet the end of her walls. His sack was snug between her ass cheeks, as if her body was designed to be out into a pree and bred for all she was worth. His forehead rested against hers as his hips rocked into her core. 

"Giyuu! You're so deep. You're pressing against my womb." With her legs held by his arms in this position she found it difficult to cling to his shoulders. Rather she reached down, feeling his lower back and the rolling muscles beneath the skin as he worked to make her feel good. Her hands drifted lower, grasping the roundness of his ass and pushing him in as deep as he could go.

He watched the way her eyes rolled back, how her jaw went lax and her legs shook. She was so beautiful like this - at the mercy of his cock, on the brink of release, face distorted with pleasure and her chin to her chest dirtied with his drying cum. This was everything he ever wanted and more.

With renewed vigor he thrusted into her, short and deep strokes, to never let up on the spot that brought her so much pleasure. Her moans were no longer sweet and airy, but now garbled messes of sounds that were once his name that were cried loud enough for all to hear. 

His head dipped down, biting her throat as a feral need to mark her as his over took his logic. It didn't matter that she belonged to Sabito - for the moment she was his and he would pump her full of cum until she could never forget it. 

"Fuck, I-" Satisfied with his mark he pulled back, resting his forehead against hers to watch her lidded eyes. "I can't take it much longer."

"Giyuu! Please. Inside me." Her hand reached down, stroking her clit in time with his thrusting. "Please cum in me. I need it."

"Dammit!" He felt her walls pulse, squeezing down on his shaft as if to milk him of his cum. "I'm about to-" 

"Me too."

He laid against her, chest to chest. Despite the adrenaline and the rush, he didn't forget when she said she wanted him to cuddle fuck her. Anything she wanted he would give her, no matter the request. 

"I-I-" His hands cupped her cheeks, bringing her blurred vision to him as her fingers pinched her sensitive clit. "Fuck, I need you to cum. I love you, I love you so much. Cum for me."

His command was followed immediately - her body arched and trembled, her walls clenching rhythmically around his cock as he let go. Her body milked his cock for all he was worth, making his seed flow into her. He hadn't cum so hard in his life, two earth shattering orgasm back to back leaving him lightheaded.

"I love you, too." Her voice was soft, just a horse whisper given her previous load moans. He was shocked, no believing he had even said all of that out loud. But still it made his chest fill with warmth. His lips sealed to hers, tenderly kissing the woman of his dreams. 

Sabito watched with a tinge of jealousy. Just a touch, nothing he would ever admit to. He knew she loved him dearly, but he knew well she had a sweet spot for the lonely water pillar. On the other hand, that might be a good thing and they had their way about making a baby. 

"Don't get too soft on me now. I think you both have another round left in you." The peach haired man eyed the oils that laid forgotten across the room, almost smiling with a glint in his lavender eyes. Two tired sets of eyes lulled over to him, lazily watching as they felt their heart rates return to a normal rate slowly. 

"You two are such a mess. You even got your own cum on you, Giyuu." Blue eyes blinked at that, not realizing he had smeared his own drying seed on his chest and chin when kissing and cuddle fucking her. Not that he minded, not when she was involved. He'd do anything for her. 

Sabito picked up the bottle oil, moving to sit next to the pair. As he grew closer they untangled their limbs, though not completely separating. 

"So this is gonna be how it works." His assertive tone was back, making shivers run down both his girlfriend and Giyuu's spines. Such authority in their afterglow did something special - particularly making both too soft and unwilling to argue. "I'm going to fuck one of you. And you're still going to fuck each other. You get to decide how, but I'm gonna cum inside someone tonight."

His lover bit her lip at the thought, possibilities running through her mind as she and Giyuu sat up. Giyuu, on the other hand, looked at Sabito's cock with a tinge of fear. He knew that technically he could take Sabito, but he hadn't had but a couple of fingers inside him - and that was a process to just those in. 

"I know what I want." The woman wiggled in anticipation, glowing as she realized her boyfriend gave her chance that she had forgotten about on her rush to cum. 

"Is it your surprise for him, baby?" She nodded eagerly, vibrating in excitement, at least emotionally. Giyuu looked between the two with a moment of confusion. Sabito only smiled to himself and handed her the oil. 

"Can I get a kiss? From either of you?" Sabito didn't wait for the end of her sentence to seal his mouth to hers, biting her lower lip before pulling away. Giyuu's kiss was more chaste, his timid nature returning. 

She settled into Sabito's lap, legs spread open and feet placed outside of his thighs. Giyuu could only watch as his thick cum dropped from her used entrance and submitted to gravity. Her fingers, oil slicked, reached down with the drop of cum to rub it into her second entrance. Sabito took to holding her legs behind the knees, keeping her spread open for their visitor to watch. 

Her fingers massaged the ring of muscle, firm but gentle as she pushed a finger into her ass. His cum dribbled down, allowing her to push his cum into her other hole. Giyuu held his breath, watching as she prepared herself in front of him. He was amazed how needy she was, how she worked herself into heavy breathing so soon after cumming. 

Sabito let go of her leg and tilted the bottle of oil above her. The slick substance coated her cunt, lubricant spreading from her lower lips to her thighs. Sabito's hand joined in, rubbing small circles on her clit as she scissored the fingers in her ass. 

"Your pussy is so pretty like this." He took his time rubbing between her folds before returning to her tender bud only when she whimpered. Giyuu watched in fascination. It was so erotic, it was almost too much. "Are you gonna tell him about his surprise?" 

Giyuu tilted his head, confused what else there could be. After all, this was more than he had ever expected. Yet when her eyes flickered to his he couldn't deny he was interested. Her oil slicked fingers pulled from her ass before she crawled closer. 

"I want you inside me. I want you to fuck my ass." Her lubricated hand found his cock, stroking it to stiffness. "I want my first to be you, I know you'll take care of me."

"First?" He almost stuttered at the thought, eyes searching hers before Sabito spoke up. 

"She wanted to give that particular honor to you. Think of it like a second virginity." He didn't mention that she was scared he would tear her open, given how thick he was. Even without that he is sure she'd save something special for Giyuu. 

The cock in her hand returned to hardness at that. He wasn't ready to admit it, but he liked the idea of it all. Loved it even. She trusted him with this, with something that could be uncomfortable yet feel so good. There was also a sense of pride - he would have done something to her Sabito hadn't done. At least yet. 

"Please? I really want it to be you." She looked so cute when she begged, he understood why Sabito liked it so much. Without a second thought he nodded. She stole a kiss, his lips tender but fast as she pulled away. 

Right as his hips began to roll into her stroking she withdrew her hand. The bottle of oil, almost empty now, had the rest of its contents poured on his cock. It dipped down his balls, but he found he didn't mind the sensation so much. Her hips settled on his lap with her ass facing him, her hand guiding his dick to her ass. The tight ring of muscle had him choking even if she had only the head of his length inside. 

"You look so sexy like that, baby. Take his dick, open up that pretty ass for him. I know you can take it." Sabito edged closer, moving until he sat in front of her. His hands held her hips, helping her bounce on the first few inches of Giyuu cock. 

As she matched his pace he let one hand wander from her hip downwards, stroking over the soaked lips of her cunt. Giyuu struggled not to thrust up into her, but he gave in to gentle rolls of his hips. Bit by bit she was beginning to take all of him. 

"Baby girl," Sabito kissed her lips as the hand not petting her pussy trailed to her neck, lightly wrapping his hand around the column of her throat as a lingering reminder of his control, "I need you to take all of his cock. Right. Now."

His hand tightened around her throat and pushed down, causing her will to crumble under his force. Choked moans  were muffled behind her lips as her eyes rolled. Giyuu's head shot back as she took him to the hilt, her ass so much tighter than her cunt. Immediately Sabito let up on his hold, cupping her cheek gently as he pushed his fingers into her sopping core. 

"That's a good girl, so good. I bet you feel nice and full, don't you?" She nodded, tightening around Giyuu as she subconsciously clenched. Her hips twisted, shifting to feel her boyfriend's fingers stroking a tender place on her walls. "Want me inside you, too?" 

Giyuu's eyes widened at that, unsure how she could fit both of them, even if Sabito was going to be inside her cunt. Yet it had begun, her body shifting positions to lay her back against him to give Sabito room between her spread legs. The feeling was odd but nice. He never imagined he would be feeling Sabito's cock through the walls between his girlfriend's cunt and ass. 

Both men pressed in as deep as possible, her body taking all of them. She was sandwiched between them, kept in place with their strength. Sabito moved first, the lube on the other two causing obscene slapping noises as his hips met hers and his balls bounced against Giyuu's. The more timid man barely had to move to feel pleasure - between her clenching walls and the head of Sabito's cock running against him through her flesh, he felt as if this was something he had wrongly denied himself for years. Why hadn't he done this sooner? It felt so good. 

"Deep, deep." Her pleas weren't even needed, not when both men wanted the same thing. 

"You like your needy womb rubbed with our clocks, don't you? My dirty little slut." Sabito sounded so vulgar, but it was obvious that she enjoyed such a spot stimulated, even to Giyuu. 

The man below her started to move gently pushing and pulling within her. Even if everything was slick with oil Giyuu was still timid to rapidly pound into her ass the way Sabito did to her pussy. 

"Please, I-" Her hand reached down, rubbing her clit again before Sabito slapped it away. Rather he grabbed Giyuu's hand, placing it against the top of her folds. 

"You're barely moving. Play with her pussy." Sabito was commanding but he wasn't wrong. To be fair he was scared of cumming too fast if he did move, but he was just as happy to make her feel good. Ragged cries were pulled from her lips, her cunt clenching in a way she hadn't felt before. 

"So full… Fuck." Her head lolled back to Giyuu's shoulder to find a place to rest as the sensations in her lower half became overwhelming. 

"Are you gonna cum just from being stuffed full of cock? Do it then. Be a good slut and cum all over our clocks." Sabito, as eager and horny as he was, spoke up first. 

"It's okay, just let go." Giyuu, as always, was more gentle. His fingers pinched her clit, rolling it between his fingers until Sabito's own hand joined the fray. His thumb flicked over the top of her clit overwhelming her senses as he pushed his cock along her deepest walls. 

"Cum in me - please, please, please." Her words lacked coherence from there forward, not that she needed it with both men rubbing on along either side of her womb. Too soon she fell into her release, her walls clenching both men painfully tight and milking them for all the cum they were worth. A wail of pleasure echoed from her lips as her eyes rolled and her back arched. Before consciousness left her she felt both men fulfilled her request - in both holes she was full of cum. 

[if-music-be-the-food-of-love]

When I read this ...Sander saying this to Hanna, also feels like he is saying it to himself as well about Robbe...now that he's gonna be raising his baby alone...

And then there's Robbe, in the first chapter, within moments of setting his eyes on Amelia goes: “I want to move back in.” ...“...Now I know how I want to be involved. I want to be here. Every day. Living it with you. Being here for both of you. Relieving some of your worries and stress. Taking on some of the responsibilities.”,,,, already a dad.🤍

The selflessness and love that is so inherent to Robbe couldn't have peaked more, he is such a giver<333 and I can't stop thinking how Sander's heart must have been bursting with love in that moment. Robbe is so right for him :') he is even beyond what Sander could think of.

I love your Robbe so much ❤️•́ ‿ ,•̀

This could get long...you have been warned. 😆😍

The one thing that becomes abundantly clear in my fics (and on my tumblr) is that I LOVE Robbe. He is by far my favorite character in all of Skam, and there's a reason for that. I am drawn to a very specific type of person. My family jokingly calls it "the boy scout," but essentially I find kindness and goodness attractive. There's a reason Captain America is my favorite Avenger and that I cried when Sam "I'm the most amazingly, wholesome, good person on the planet" Wilson became the new Cap. (Seriously, ugly crying, I love Sam Wilson.) I adore Peeta. He was my favorite character from day one, and when that goodness was destroyed in Mockingjay, I cried angry tears. She ruined the most loyal, honest character ever. Alec in The Shadowhunter Chronicles--his defining characteristic is that he's a protector, fiercely loyal. He didn't kill a demon until he was 19 bc he was out there defending Jace and Isabelle instead. Sure, he can be a sassy ass, but goodness literally pours out of him. Any time Magnus describes him, it's like he can't comprehend how honest and wholesome he is. It's literally what attracts him at first--shock at this enigma of a Shadowhunter. I could go on, but I'm sure you get the point.

Back to Robbe, so canon Robbe is like this for me. He never spoke ill about his mother or MI. All he did was love and support her. He never pretended to like Jana, and he immediately felt guilty for messing things up for Jens. He suffered a shit ton more homophobia during season 1 and 3 than the other Isaks, which is why his internalized homophobia was so deeply rooted (and why he did make a few bad choices - faking it with Noor, the slur). He actually liked Noor--as a friend, and that's why he tried so hard to make it work, and why they stayed friends afterward. And here's the big one for me, he BROKE UP with her before pursuing Sander. Sure, the pool kiss happened first, but it wasn't planned. He did not purposefully cheat. He manned up and didn't ghost her. For me, that was HUGE. And then we get to Sander. He biked around in the cold for over an hour, only to be pushed away. He broke up with Sander, not bc he was afraid of his MI, but bc he was told it was better for him, that he needed to stay away. Admittedly, his fear, shock, and misinformation led to illogical thinking, resulting in breaking up with Sander over text, and who would have thought Moyo would be the one to clear that up (whoo!). But the second he realized he was wrong, that he'd made a mistake based on incorrect info, he fixed it. He reached out. He called. He texted. He went to visit him. He didn't wait for Sander to need him, to reach out to him. He was actively pursuing him, all while thinking it was over bc he screwed up. All of this is what makes Robbe so special to me. He isn't perfect, but he always acts with a kind heart. None of this has been negated or challenged in later seasons. His fierce, loyal devotion to Sander is all over insta, and he literally glows with pride.

Now to my Robbe in "I Want it All," he's not perfect by any means, not like the Robbe in "Color of Love." I think that one was a little too one-dimensional, mainly because it was all seen through Sander's rose colored glasses. "I Want it All" was actually difficult at first because I usually write from Sander's POV, and it started with Robbe. I find it much easier to think like Sander and just gush about him. Having to be in Robbe's head made things more challenging, but what I've found as the story has progressed, is that Robbe's amazingness is still obvious, BUT we can see that he's flawed. He's (unintentionally) been awful to Sander. Many times. He allowed the Broerrrs to affect their relationship; he was a total ass after the kiss; and he completely ignored his own physical and emotional reactions to Sander, immediately followed by flaunting a completely inappropriate and awful boyfriend in his face, however unconsciously. I'm personally convinced, and since it's my story, I can state it as fact, I guess, that Robbe's jealousy chose Carlos to purposefully punish Sander for proposing to Hanna. It was a rebound, just not in the traditional sense. Granted, he's completely unaware of all this.

Somehow he's still the most caring, supportive, loving friend. One of my personal favorite moments is when he's taking care of Sander during the pregnancy. That's such a selfless, loving thing to do, and he's doing it by choice, not because anyone asked. He recognized that Sander was struggling to balance everything, and he stepped in. To me, that's love. It's unconditional, and that's what drives Robbe. He loves Sander unconditionally, and it's completely unrelated to romance. Even before he realized he was in love with him, he always gave Sander what he needed--a partner to raise his daughter with, companionship, laughter, help around the house, little presents that represent how important Sander is to him, etc. Apart from recognizing the meaning of his and Sander's feelings, he's completely in tune with him and always has been. We're not there yet, but imagine how heartbroken and utterly awful Robbe will feel when he realizes just how long Sander has been waiting for him. We got a glimpse of it in ch. 5, but our poor boy is going to judge himself rather harshly.

The dynamic is so different between them because Robbe is oblivious to his feelings, and Sander is not. What Robbe does and how he acts is completely out of love, no strings attached. He has no ulterior motive. That's what makes him so kind and sweet. Sander's actions, at least in this last part, are always tainted by his unrequited love for Robbe. He loves him. Always, but his disappointment and frustration get in the way. His choices and actions take that unrequited love into consideration, and because of where they are in their lives and the miscommunication, he actually acts against his own interests and feelings to try and protect himself. It's a very interesting distinction when you think that the one who is romantically in love with the other is the one in a serious relationship with someone else while the oblivious one hasn't really dated and only got a boyfriend after the proposal. Ouch. I'm not attacking Sander here at all because I love him too, and it's my fault he did all this; but my clear, obvious preference and love for Robbe and his absolute kindness and goodness, really shines through here.

Anyway, this really was long, but I do love Robbe. He is my favorite, and chances are any future fics will continue to make that obvious.

[spnfanficpond]

Pond Diving - Supernatural-Jackles

Welcome to today’s Pond Diving Spotlight! We hope that you enjoy this little insight to our members and perhaps even find some useful tips for your own writing. Happy reading!

Want to volunteer, send us an ask! We’re looking forward to learning more about all of you! Not sure what PD is, you can learn more here.

“Don’t Be Koi About It” - All About You

Name: Jen

Age: 24

Location: Ontario, Canada

URL: @supernatural-jackles​ 

Why did you choose your URL:  I wanted a Supernatural theme for my blog when I started watching it and Jensen Ackles just happens to be my favourite on there so it became that.

What inspired you to become a writer: I’ve always enjoyed stories. I’ve loved the aspect of taking your mind to a whole other world and living in it. As I grew up and continued reading, my love for stories became stronger and stronger. I fell in love with characters and places. I wanted to always have a way to go back to those places and take other people to those places. I wanted to create stories for others to fall in love with the way I fell in love with them.

How long have you been writing:  I have been writing since I was 8 or 9.

What do you do when you are not writing i.e. Job/Hobbies etc?  Right now, my Nintendo switch is a good friend of mine. Due to the virus, I spend a lot of my time inside when I’m not at work. I’m either writing, working, sleeping or playing switch.

How long have you been in the SPN Fandom?  Since 2012

Are you in any other fandoms and do you write for them? I am in the Harry Potter fandom, and Marvel. I don’t write for them though. I don’t feel the same way about the characters as I do with the SPN Fandom. 

Do you do any writing outside of fanfiction? If so, tell us about it? I have been working on my novel for the last two years on and off. I just find a lot more joy in writing Supernatural fanfiction at the moment, so my soul focus has stayed on that. 

Favorite published author:  Margaret Atwood or John Green

Have you ever read a book that made an impact on your life? Which one and why?:  There was this one book I read. I was about 18 at the time I believe. All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven. A very triggering book, just so you know. I remember sitting there reading it and wondering why I’m putting myself through something so draining and daunting. The book was very upsetting and I found it didn’t tackle the issues at hand in a very tasteful and realistic way. As someone who writes fanfiction about mental health, it influenced me to be open and honest about the way reality is, but in a way that would shine more positively towards mental health struggles. I never wanted to be that person who ruined every mental health book for someone else like that author did for me. It was a negative impact, but I think it had some positive results.

Favorite genre of fanfic (smut, angst, fluff, crack, rpf, etc):  I enjoy all genres to be honest. It really all depends on the mood I’m in that day. It’s fun to switch it up every once in a while and enjoy the mixed emotions you get when you read or write said genre.

Favorite piece of your own writing: One and One Make Three or Just Want to Be Loved.

Most underrated fic you have written:  I might have to say More Than a Fling. It was the sequel to Summer Fling and everyone was interested in a second series. It soon went on permanent hiatus due to lack of interest.

Story of yours that you’d most like to see turned into a movie/tv show:  Owe You One

Favorite Tumblr Writer(s):   @luci-in-trenchcoats​, @kaz-2y5imagines​,  @jawritter​ @mariekoukie6661​, @torn-and-frayed​

Favorite fic from another writer:  Breathe by @luci-in-trenchcoats​

Favorite character to write: Dean/Jensen

Favorite Pairing to write:  Undecided. I love reader inserts and I haven’t done many pairings other than that. I have toyed with Jensen/Reader/Danneel before and I enjoy writing them.

Least favorite character to write (and why):  Castiel. We only see so much of Cas and there aren’t as many complex layers of him so he’s harder for me to explore.

Do you have anyone you consider a mentor?  @luci-in-trenchcoats

Do you have any aspirations involving your writing?   Finish everything I start, and be proud of every piece I create.

How many work-in-progress stories do you have:  Ummm probably upwards to the mid 60’s I want to say.

What are you currently working on?  I am in the very early stages of writing a Jensen x Reader Bodyguard AU series. Twisty and turny and very different from what I usually write, but still very me.

“Pond Diving” - All About The Writing

What/who has had the biggest influence on your writing?  I have the biggest influence on my writing for the most part. I always stick with what I want to write and what I’d love to read. That’s what gets me started on most pieces. My dear best friend who shall remain anonymous, has an influence on me as well. She mostly inspires me to write what I want to write and reminds me on a constant basis that I am doing good and to keep going with my ideas.

Best writing advice you've been given:  Don’t be afraid to get a little out of your comfort zone.

Biggest obstacle you’ve faced in your writing:  Time management mostly. Deadlines are not my best friend, that’s for sure. I am often filled with a lot of self-doubt when it comes to getting things done on time. Then I wonder if it’s good enough for publishing or if I should wait.

What aspects of writing do you find difficult when you write fanfiction? The research process for certain fics can be daunting. Especially if you don’t know where you need to start looking. Then fact checking, and making sure it works in the story. I have to remind myself that it will be worth it in the end. 

Is there anything you want to write but are afraid to (and why):  I am pretty open with writing most of the things I want to. Getting out of my comfort zone is something I regularly do. It’s always fun to challenge yourself into writing something you’d never think of doing. I certainly have enjoyed the things I was scared to try and it was worth it in the end.

What inspires/motivates you to write:  Any selfie/picture posted by Jensen. My best friend and the lovely people around me. @luci-in-trenchcoats is a big influence on me and she always keeps me going!

How do you deal with self doubt:  I constantly have to remind myself to get out of that headspace unless I am writing about being in that headspace. It’s a hard cycle to break. Reminding myself that what I am doing is making me happy. I’m making the rules. I’m writing this for me. I have to please myself first and that’s what matters the most. I know myself and the way I write, and that is enough. That’s what I keep on repeat in my head.

How do you deal with writer's block: Cry profusely? I’m kidding. Writer’s block for me, usually comes from something I don’t like that I have written. If it’s minor, I go back to the point where I was happy with where the story was going and delete everything after that. Give it a fresh new start and prospective. If the block is more severe, I take a break. Watch a movie and don’t stress myself about it. I get ideas anywhere, and it will come back eventually. Sometimes it’s just your brain's way of saying “hey, you need to take a break. Do that.”

Do you plan/outline your story before you start: Generally yes. I like to know where my story is going. Most of the time my outlines are more extensive rough drafts. It’s a way of processing my thoughts and writing them down so I don’t forget later. It’s a lot more fun for me to build on stories.

Do you have any weird writing habits:  I either have to sit in a silent room, or I have to listen to music. Lately it’s been more silent. It depends on the subject.

Have you ever received hateful comments on your fic and how do you deal with it?  I’ve received my share of hateful comments. Each one sucks, I’m not going to lie. Knowing that there is someone out there that hates the way you wrote something so much that they had to tell you isn’t nice. It kind of comes back to the self doubt thing. You have to remind yourself that this is one person’s not so kind opinion. You are the writer, you are in control of this story. This is you and you’re proud of this.

Conversely: what’s been some of your favorite feedback on your fanfic?  Any feedback is my favourite feedback. Every heart, every “I love this”. Every “You’re my favourite.” I can’t pick a favourite. If someone can take the time out to say they’ve loved something I have written and that it meant a lot to them, then that's the best reward I can get.

If you could give one piece of advice to a new and/or struggling writer, what would it be?  Keep writing everyday! You don’t see it now but the more you write, the better you get.

[paceypeternathanslawyer]

Dawson being an insufferable, evil prick in Dawson’s Creek 3x03 (None Of The Above)

1. We open with a scene of Dawson and Eve in his bedroom 

Dawson: First things first. Movie night we're supposed to watch movies.

Eve: I prefer TV.

We have painfully been forced to watch Dawson watch movies and not just any movies... the movies HE wants to watch for the past two seasons. One movie night when someone else chooses what to watch and Dawson can’t imagine that they would do something that he “King Dawson” wouldn’t want to do. He then proceeds to be an insufferable snob and turn up his nose at her choice of TV show and TV shows in general. What else is new?

2. One of the reasons he hates Felicity is because she’s “chatty?” Fuck you Dawson! That toxic viewpoint that a boy who’s chatty, i.e. Dawson, is gregarious and charming, but a girl who’s chatty is a handful who should shunned by any self respecting man.

3. Dawson: You know, which is, in general, my complaint about television. It's not reality, it's perfection. I mean, nobody ever blows it or gets tested in any real way or ever makes the wrong choice or bad choice or...

I see why Dawson doesn’t like TV now.... he’s never seen a TV show. Seriously though, I have never seen a show where the characters are “perfect” and “never make bad or wrong choices” that show literally does not exist. 

4. Dawson brings the PSAT test answers to the whole group and proceeds to dangle it in front of them, even going so far as to encourage them to take advantage of it. He tempts Joey by mentioning how doing well in the PSATs would help her get a scholarship and then later in that episode he gets all mad at Eve for quote un quote tempting him when he himself was doing the same thing to his “friends.” What a fucking hypocrite. But what else is new?

(Little side note. When they have to leave the classroom and leave the PSAT test results on the table.. they come back and we see Dawson looking under the table. That makes me laugh every time. As if the test results just walked off the desk by itself. It either walked off the desk or someone took it. Either way, your not gonna find it under the desk 😂😂 )

5. Eve: It didn't disappear, Dawson. Somebody took it. 

Dawson: How do you know that?

Again... Dawson... you carefully left it lying there in the middle of a table. Of course it was taken, there’s no other option.

6.  Dawson: Whoever stole the test give it back. 

Jen: Well, wasn't it already stolen, Dawson?

Jen makes an amazing point. Dawson expects everyone to follow his idea of morality and follow his every command when he himself touted around a stolen test and tempted everyone with it, insinuating that it should be used. But now when it’s taken from him, suddenly his strong moral code can not allow them to have it.

7.  Dawson: She didn't tell me to do anything with that test. 

Joey: I bet when she offered you that test, you didn't fire one ethical comment her way, did you? It's just your friends who have to sit here and-- and suffer through the Dawson Leery morality play.

Another good point. Any chance Dawson can have to make himself feel morally superior to his “friends.” You know what? He probably brought that test to them in the hopes that someone would steal just so he could psychologically abuse them and make them feel like trash.

8.   Dawson: Here's the deal: I'm gonna leave my locker unlocked. Whoever has the test will put it inside by 5:30 today.

 Pacey: Oh, come on, Dawson. The petty thief among us already left the crime scene. They're not gonna return that thing now. What's the incentive? 

Dawson: To do the right thing.

To do the right thing?!?! So the right thing is to give a test to Dawson and Dawson alone with no idea what he’s gonna do with it? He could use it for his own self alone. How is that morally right? Because Dawson said so? And Dawson is surely the arbiter and decider of everything that is or is not morally right. Technically the right thing to do is for the thief to keep it and then burn it... right Dawson? 

9. Eve makes one comment about how one of his friends probably stole it and Dawson immediately thinks of Pacey. Truly showing what a horrible friend he is and how little he really knows about Pacey. Pacey is not the kind of person who would cheat on a test. He has not written one word on tests, he has even blatantly fallen asleep in class during tests. He just truly does not care enough to cheat and anyone who knows Pacey even the slightest, would know that.

10.  Friends, huh? Friends, you know, that word "friends"... it's an interesting word. It implies that you would actually believe your friend when he's telling you something. 

Dawson: When he tells me the truth. 

I hate that line by Dawson because in it he has shown his hands and put Pacey in a position where, no matter what Pacey says, Dawson’s not gonna believe him. Pacey said himself that he didn’t take it and Dawson says he’ll believe him when he tells the truth. Dawson has made up his mind and nothing Pacey says to defend himself is gonna change that.

Pacey: When he's tell-- ha ha! You want to know what I find so very amusing about this situation? I mean, what i think is so really, really rich about all this is that you yourself were capable of stealing this test. All right, you thought about it. You didn't throw that test away. You didn't give it back to Eve. You brought the test to us!

Dawson: No. I wanted to consult the people I trusted to determine what the best thing was to do. I never thought that anyone would be so weak or so self motivated to actually swipe it. (Trust? Hmmm his idea of trust and mine are two totally different things... but okay then, spew your bullshit if you want Dawson. Also weak and self motivated? Fuck you Dawson! You know nothing about Pacey)

Pacey: Weak and self-motivated, huh? Now, which one of those 2 colorful adjectives would I be? 

Dawson: You are who you are, Pacey.

Pacey: Yes, I am, Dawson. And so are you. You, Dawson Leery, are a self-righteous son of a bitch who cares more about his rose-colored defunct 1950s belief system than the people who fail to live up to it, huh? (👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 You tell him King Pacey)

Dawson: Interesting choice of words, coming from a smug, cold-hearted son of a bitch who just dumped his girlfriend after she begged him-- pleaded for an ounce sympathy! (SMUG?! COLD HEARTED?! Andie cheated on him!! Fuck you Dawson. Isn’t a friend supposed to support his friend? This makes me think the part in S6 where Dawson says that even before the whole Pacey/Joey/Dawson drama that he realized that Pacey hadn’t wanted to be his friend for a long time. Funny because I seem to recall Dawson being a horrible and vile “friend” to Pacey for seasons and seasons before Joey and Pacey began a relationship)

Pacey: At least I didn't send her father to prison. (Number 1, I don’t think this was out of line. I’d like Dawson to explain to me how this factually inaccurate)

Dawson: No. You just made her go crazy. (This is way out of line on so many levels and Dawson wasn’t even drunk. Even if what Pacey said was out of line... number 1, Dawson started it by calling him a smug and cold hearted son of a bitch for being betrayed by his GF. Number 2, what Pacey said was correct. Number 3, Pacey was drunk. Dawson has 0 excuse. What he said here was evil to Pacey and belittling to Andie and her mental health struggles that have nothing to do with Pacey)

11. Dawson: The only thing I can come up with is you, Eve. You happened to me. You and that stupid test. Look, Eve, I accept my blame in this, but don't even try to tell me that you didn't know what giving me that test would do.

No, Dawson, you do not accept your blame. You never accept your blame in anything. It is not Eve’s fault at all. Yeah, she gave you the test but she did not make you do or say anything you said over the course of this episode. That’s on you. 

[peaceoutofthepieces]

Sink Or Swim

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~^~

Tuesday, 18:04

Song: Wingtip - Strangers

“Okay, fuck,” Jayden laughs, shoving Kes aside. “Enough bullshitting about me. Time to listen to Lucas.”

Lucas sighs wistfully. “I miss your bullshit though.”

“Do you really though?” Kes questions.

Jayden shoves him again in protest and Lucas laughs, even though his chest is aching because he really does miss them. He misses everything about them, and about his other friends, and his home, and his mother. He misses Utrecht in general. It only gets stronger ever time he sees them, or every time they simply text him, or make a post that he isn’t involved in at all.

He also feels like he has been neglecting them, slightly. It has been harder than he expected to keep up with everything at once. He can only deal with so much interaction on certain days. Others, it still manages to exhaust him. He has found himself needing to plan these more lengthy interactions, needing time to gather himself before being presented to his best friends.

He’s just finding it a little hard, to keep lying to them.

“Nah, look at him, he’s right at home. Bet he likes his new buddies Jens and whoever better,” Jayden mock sniffles.

It’s especially hard when they say things like that.

It would be so easy to tell them, right now. To smirk at Jayden and tell him that he’s right, and that he should be glad, because he probably wouldn’t appreciate Lucas liking him quite as much as he likes Jens. He could make a light-hearted joke out of it, then assure them he is in fact serious when they laugh, and it would finally be out. He would finally be out, and he wouldn’t even have to say the words. His best friends would finally know him completely.

Then…what then?

He doesn’t know. He has imagined endless scenarios of how they would react, and none of them are in his favour.

It doesn’t matter how much he tells himself that they are the chillest people he knows. That he has never seen them be anything less than entirely open and accepting. It has never mattered because he has never had to test their acceptance of him.

He also doesn’t want to tell them over video-call, even though the chicken side of him points out the upside.

Video-calling also makes it easier for him to accidentally give himself away.

“I would’ve been okay with like a second’s hesitation but that’s just hella rude, Luc,” Kes pokes his head back in, leaning half-over Jayden as he smiles. It looks mildly concerned.

“No, sorry,” Lucas shakes his head, huffing a laugh. “I told you, they’re not you guys.”

“But they’re treating you good now, right? Didn’t you sort things out with Jens?” Kes prods, and Lucas tries very hard not to blush.

His situation with Jens now is drastically different to that of two weeks ago, when he’d spoken to them last. Lucas still hasn’t come to terms with it himself. If he really were to tell them, he wouldn’t even know where to begin. He’d probably throw up before he could even get the words out, with how quickly anxiety churns his stomach at the mere thought.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.”

“You don’t sound very convinced,” Jayden says dubiously.

Lucas has to admit that he isn’t.

Kes nods in agreement. “I’m starting to get worried when it’s like this every time we call you, Luc. Are you really okay there?”

“No, I am,” Lucas assures. “At least I always think I am, and then I actually see you guys and I...it just reminds me that I could be there but I’m not. Then I start thinking about why, and what I’m missing, and the fact that I already don’t talk to you guys as much as expected and I haven’t actually seen you at all and it sucks.”

“Hey, Luc,” Kes soothes, “we’re right here. Whenever you can come, we’ll still be here. We’ll always be here. This is our last year of school. When we’re going to uni, you can come home. He can’t say no to getting a flat with us then, right?”

Lucas blows out a sigh. “I guess not. But that’s still a really long time.”

“So get your ass back here,” Jayden insists. “Go talk to your dad. Right now.”

“He’s in the shower…”

“Perfect. He won’t spend a bunch of time arguing when he’s naked.”

Lucas scrunches his nose as Kes makes a sound of protest and shoves Jayden out of the way, drawing the laptop onto his knee. “Okay. Don’t listen to Jayden. Go talk to him as soon as he comes out. You need to be calm, and apologetic, but firm okay? He needs to know you’re taking it seriously. You understand your mistakes, yada yada, you’ll get depressed if you don’t see my face in person soon, blah blah, and you’re on the next train.”

Lucas huffs. “That simple.”

“It’s that simple,” Kes says, suddenly serious. “Just ask. Your new pals can’t begrudge you one weekend and neither can your dad.”

“I don’t know. He wasn’t sure about it the last time.”

“But you were,” Jayden points out, leaning on Kes’s shoulder to bring himself back into the frame. “You were serious about it. Don’t you miss us as much anymore?”

It’s teasing, but instead of joking back, Lucas softens. “More,” he admits.

“Then that should be enough motivation shouldn’t it? What’s holding you back?” Kes asks.

Lucas’s initial thought is Jens, but it isn’t the boy himself that is making Lucas hold back from his friends. It’s Lucas, and how he is with Jens, and the fact that he doesn’t want to lie about it anymore.

But nothing scares him more than telling the truth.

He just wants his friends to always look at him the way they are now. Soft and sure and knowing, familiar in the way that only comes with years of interaction. Patient and understanding and easy.

He doesn’t want that to change, but he can’t be sure that it won’t.

But maybe it needs to.

Just, not quite yet.

“I haven’t spoken to her since I left,” he admits softly, looking down at his lap and picking at the bedsheets, reminding himself to steal that ring again.

Kes and Jayden are quiet for a moment. It’s eventually Kes who tests the waters further. “But that’s natural when she’s been committed, right?”

“They can still use their phones. She sent me a few texts.”

“And you haven’t replied to any?”

“I don’t know what to say to Bible verses.”

They’re quiet again.

“You know you can stay with us,” Jayden says. “You don’t even have to think about it. It’s not even a question.”

Lucas smiles slightly, offering a grateful nod. He hasn’t been planning on using it as an excuse to actually say no, anyway. “Okay. I’m going to ask him. I’ll call you back after.”

“Fuck, now?” Kes leans forward, excited.

“Yep. Wish me luck.”

They call out their good lucks, and Lucas hangs up, shutting his laptop as he runs a hand through his hair. He pulls the sleeves of his hoodie down over his hands as he makes his way to the kitchen, sitting himself at the small round table as he waits.

His sleeve has frayed by the time his father joins him, looking surprised to see Lucas waiting. Lucas smiles nervously and his father raises his brows.

“What’s this?”

Lucas shakes his head, licks his lips, realises he should have prepared instead of panicking. “I was just wondering if my curfew is ending anytime soon.”

Hugo purses his lips as he moves to one of the overhead cupboards, taking a mug out as he flicks on the kettle. “Another party or something coming up?”

“No, just...I was actually wondering about going home. For the weekend.”

Hugo turns around to look at him, placing his hands on the counter behind him. He switches his gaze to the ground, scuffing his foot over it. “I haven’t been trying to keep you from your friends.”

“I know.”

“That’s not what your punishment is about.”

“I know.”

“I don’t even know what it’s about, at this stage,” the man admits, rubbing a hand over his face. He looks to Lucas again. “Your mother got out at the weekend.”

Lucas’s shoulders tense naturally. “She did?”

“Yes. I spoke to her on Sunday. She sounds better.”

For now. She’s better for now.

“Okay?”

“So you could stay with her, if you wanted. But I understand if you’d rather stay with your friends.”

Lucas can barely realise the acceptance in the statement, focusing purely on the information regarding his mother and the new offer in place. He could still go and stay with Jayden in the flatshare. Or he could go home. Really home, to the building and the room and the bed he’d stayed in all his life. To his posters and his old paintings and the scratches in the door frame, marking his life out in notches of growth.

To his mother, who he has barely let himself think about, but misses more than he thought possible.

“Really? I can actually do that, this weekend?”

“If that’s what you want,” his father shrugs. The kettle boils, and he turns away again to fill the mug, stirring the tea bag in the warmth before lifting it out. “I’m not trying to keep you from your mother either, Luc. I know she’d be happy to see you. She was always happy to see you.”

She hadn’t been. Not always.

But Lucas is surprised by the sudden realisation that he really, really wants to see her.

“This isn’t a test?” He eyes his dad carefully, prodding just once more as hope fills his chest.

“Come on, buddy, I’m not that bad am I?”

Lucas is out of his chair and wrapping his arms around the older man before he realises it himself. Hugo stands stiff, but eventually turns around to hug him back, squeezing tight where Lucas expects a few awkward pats. It’s surprisingly comfortable, surprisingly easy. His arms fit snugly, overlapping, around his father’s waist and he’s tall enough to tuck his chin over his shoulder and close his eyes for a brief second.

“Thank you,” Lucas murmurs.

Hugo gives him another squeeze. “I’m still not giving you your weed back.”

[commander-rahrah]

RESIDENCY: SECOND CHANCES (AN OPEN HEART FIC): PART FOUR

Pairing: MC (Jordynne Holland) X Ethan Ramsey X Bryce Lahela; MC X Bryce; MC X Ethan. Please note that both pairings are present in this fan fiction — off & on, at the same times, and the relationships do ebb & flow. Please keep this in mind. Thank you.

Masterlist: Click Here

Chapter Rating: T

Word Count: 3940+

Description:  Everybody’s first day back at Edenbrook. Is this second year everything they will need it to be?

Disclaimer: Characters, storyline, and parts of the dialogue are taken from Pixelberry’s Choices. They fully own the characters, dialogue, backgrounds, etc. MC Jordynne’s background is my own creation, based loosely off of MC in-game’s personality and provided with more details.

Author’s Note: Ha. Soooo, its been a while. A long while. Many factors went into delaying updating this fic. First of all -- the pandemic. I am an essential worker. I am tired, and stressed. Yes, still. I am tired. I wake up, drive, work, drive, home, eat, sleep. That’s it. My freetime, creativity. mental health, etc. has been at an all time low. Second of all -- life. Soooo much has happened for my little family. My partner and I bought our first home and rescued our absolutely gorgeous puppy from a rescue shelter. It can be a bit hard to find time to write between putting your entire life into boxes, not having any furniture for 3 months and chasing after a puppy. Third -- I honestly felt like I lost my touch with my characters after reading Open Heart 2. The hiatus was understandable but long. There were chapters that were amazing, and heartbreaking and made me feel like I was soooo excited to write them. And then... by the end of Book 2... I felt lost? My favorite characters voices seem muffled. And I wasn’t sure how I was going to keep going. Do I ignore scenes/rewrite them? Would that compromise the premise of my fic? Being a fic that is in addition to the original PB story? I’m still a little lost if I am completely honest. Fourth -- general posting anxiety. Which I try so hard to avoid, and not think of. But comparison games, lack of notes and activity can get to you when you open yourself creatively online. 

But messages of encouragement and inquiries into the next update helped! And I thank everyone who checked in on the fic and on me to see what was going on ♡♡♡ Honestly, I felt like I had no time to write, and even if I did I wasn’t motivated or inspired enough to do it. Tonight, I felt good. The news of OH3 was a bit of a kick starter for me I won’t lie. But I want to get back into these character’s heads -- I want to figure out the god damn mess that Jordynne has made for herself with Ethan and Bryce!! 

As always any likes, reblogs and comments are very appreciated. If you would like to be added/removed from the tag list please just let me know! It has been a long time since the fic updated so please let me know if you no longer want to be tagged or want to be tagged. 

Taglist: @drakewalkerfantasy​ @owleyes-374​ @lahelable​ @mayah-mahdy @paisleylovergirl​ @nicquix​ @emilymay100​ @octobereighth​ @llamasgrl​ @timmagicktoad​ @lilyofchoices @msjpuddleduck​ @mfackenthal​ @paulfwesley​ @ccolz88-blog​ @mindlessdreaminxo @jooous​ @lapisreviewsstuff​ @choicesarehard​ @themingdynasty​ @omgjasminesimone​ @hopelessly-shipper​ @binny1985​ @perriewinklenerdie​ @jens-diamondchoices​ @indiacater​ @chasingrobbie​ @writingsbymissy @dimitriwife​ @tacohead13​ @amy-choices @mrsmatsuo @checkurwindow​ @imrookieramsey​ @bitchloveskcbaseball​ @mrs-ramsey​

Previous Updates: Residency — Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten Part Eleven Part Twelve Part Thirteen Part Fourteen Part Fifteen Part Sixteen Part Seventeen Part Eighteen Part Nineteen

Residency: Second Chances – Part One Part Two Part Three

Bryce stood near the entrance to Edenbrook — shuffling from one foot to another. Both hands were wrapped around paper coffee cups — one of which he took a careful sip of. 

So he had stopped to get her a latte from her favorite café. He knew she would probably be in a huge rush to get to work early and wouldn’t stop to get one. He wanted her day to start off right. At least he hadn’t shown up to the apartment.

Well, the thought had crossed his mind but he had quickly pushed it away. This was about being her friend. He just wanted Jordynne to have a good first day.

His dark eyes kept flicking towards the subway stairs, waiting patiently for that familiar blonde head to come bobbing up. Placing one of the cups on top of the other, he balanced them carefully as he dug into his jeans pocket for his phone. Maybe she had texted — 

“Oh Bryce — hey!” His ears perked up at the voice, and was met with a warm smile. The smile that occupied his waking dreams. He liked being the reason for that smile. 

“Hey Jordy!” God, why did he sound so breathless.

“Happy first day as a resident!” He shoved his phone back into his pocket, before grabbing onto her latte and extending it out, “I thought you should be extra caffeinated for your day, so I got you...” But his voice trailed off as he realized she was already clutching a travel mug to her chest. “Oh you already got one.”

“Uh, yeah,” Her smile turned sheepish, “I had the exact same thought process as you actually.” 

“Heh—,” he chuckled, “I guess I know you pretty well.” 

Her green eyes flashed with a look he couldn’t quite read, “Guess you do.” “Well, do you want it still...?” He held out the lukewarm latte again, unsure what to do with it. 

“Hey, I’m still Jordynne Holland. When have I ever denied extra caffeine?” Bryce’s white teeth bit his lip as they stretched into a smile. He handed her the cup — their fingers grazing slightly. 

“Thanks.” 

They fell into step behind the other roommates, trailing into the hospital. As they walked together, Bryce suddenly struggled to find what to say. He had never been one to stay quiet — usually he was the outspoken one. But now he just watched her grasp onto her two coffee cups tightly, her eyes low as she walked into Edenbrook. 

Once they made there way into the staff locker room, they separated to their own lockers. He watched out of the corner of his eye as she carefully sat her two drinks down, before grabbing her white coat. She slipped it on effortlessly, before wrapping her stethoscope around her neck. Flipping her blonde ponytail out, she turned to speak with Sienna — her voice to low for him to hear.

Jordynne looked amazing — her lean legs and hips wrapped in a deep green skirt that showed off just enough that it was both sexy and tasteful. Her high necked pale blouse brought out her olive skin. She could be the woman on the front of the pamphlets they hand out to pre-med undergrads. She already was the doctor she was aspiring to be — and he knew she would fit in well with the Diagnostics team. He thought of Ramsey — his pressed trousers, and leather dress shoes. His watch that probably cost more then Bryce’s car. Grinding his molars, he looked down at the wrinkles trousers and Nikes in his hands. Peeling his shirt off he tossed it gently into his locker, letting out a sigh.

But he quickly masked it as Jordynne went to leave the locker room. “Hey,” He caught her attention before she went to leave, “You’re gonna kill it, Holland.” 

“Thanks Lahela,” She gave him that smile again. The one that made everything flutter. 

“I’ll save you a seat at lunch?”

“Oh—“ Her eyebrows furrowed slightly in the middle, “I’m not sure how my day will look with the team... I’ll play it by ear?” She offered, looking a little guilty. 

“Yeah— yeah of course...” His voice sounded a little strained. “We’ll catch you later.” 

She nodded at him, pushing her hands into her pockets, “Okay, yeah. See you guys in the atrium,” She called out over her shoulder, her blonde ponytail swinging as she walked away. 

Bryce’s brown eyes flickered over to the rest of her roommates, who were all watching with slightly worried looks. It was starting to settle in. Maybe this second year, this second chance — was the beginning of everything changing. ________________________________________________________________ He had originally come up here to get accustomed to his new surroundings. Get a lay of the land. The board had spared no expense with the new wing expansion — and the Diagnostic team’s new office was no joke. 

Ethan was standing across the hall from the room — staring into the room through the glass walls. Everything inside was sleek, shiny and new. His hands were bunched up fists in the pockets of his trousers, and the tie around his neck felt a little tight. Had he forgotten what all of this was like while he was away?  

Thirty minutes he had stood there. 

Thirty. 

Standing there and imagining where he would sit at the table — discussing with the team, leading them to the right diagnosis. Researching at the desk, pouring over the hundred books that was supplied for them in there. 

But the picture in his head was fuzzy. Even in his imagination Ethan felt like something didn’t feel right. What was it? 

The team? No. Mirani and Hirata always did excellent work. He could rely on them.

Was it that Naveen was missing? So many of his biggest successes with the team was with Naveen. And he definitely felt his absence this past year. He had also never really adjusted to the idea of being the team lead for the department. It was thrust upon him, not once but twice. And both times he had been unprepared. Being a leader wasn’t exactly what he had always hoped for in his career.

Ethan’s thick brows were furrowed as he thought, the gears in his mind whirling. Why had he been staring at the office for thirty minutes? What was stopping him from going inside and just doing his damn work? That’s what he came back for — so what was his trepidation? 

The light flickering on in the diagnostic teams office brought him back to reality. The room was illuminated, the white light shining through the glass walls and spilling into the hall. 

There she was. 

Jordynne stood at the entrance of the office, her back facing him as she took it all in. She hadn’t notice him from across the large hallway. Ethan stepped back into the shadows — hoping she wouldn’t see him capturing the moment. A silent laugh escaped him as he watched her set not one, but two coffee cups down onto the table. His lips remained upturned as he watched her wander deeper into the room, running her fingers over the smooth surface of the whiteboard. She had a soft smile on her face as she looked around her. 

“Good morning Dr. Ramsey!”

Ethan almost hissed at the sound of the cheerful voice next time. Looking over he saw Dr. Baz Mirani standing next to him with a wide smile spread across his face. 

“Morning,” He grumbled, looking back to his view of the diagnostics office where Jordynne had started to settle in. 

“That’s Dr. Holland right?” Baz followed his line of sight, and watching her for a moment. “Are you going to head in?” The young doctor questioned, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. 

He cleared his throat, before shaking his head, “You go ahead.”

The young man didn’t think anything of it, and marched over into the office. Ethan could hear their muffled voices through the glass as they introduced each other.

He noticed the next person that came up to him — Dr. Hirata. She gave him a nod, before pausing for a moment and staring at him in the dark side of the corridor. He could tell she was calculating, attempting to deduce what was keeping him out of their new office. But her face remained neutral and she turned on her heel and headed into the room. 

Maybe there were too many variables for her to figure it out too. 

His blue eyes watched as the three colleagues got familiar with each other, shaking hands and pleasantries. Maybe this would be a perfect time to go in. He had missed the awkward introductions — the worst part was over. He just had to go into the room. 

Running his hands over his white coat, Ethan crossed the hall and stepped into the brand new office. 

“Introductions done?” He asked, his thick brows raised. He glanced over them quickly, not long enough to make any eye contact. “Great. We’ve got work to do.” The glass door behind him gently hissed as it closed — leaving them all in the office together. 

Ok. First step done.

“We have an incoming patient from Manhattan Presbyterian.” The trio slid apart to make room for him as he marched to the board, pining up an abdominal CT scan. 

Jordynne, June and Baz grabbed a spot at the circular wooden table in the middle of the room. 

“Can you describe the patient?”

“Male, aged 45. Asian American.” He watched as Jordynne took out her trusty little black notebook, and started jotting down notes. 

“Symptoms?” 

“He presented with a fever, vomiting and diarrhea, and was treated for the flu. He returned several days later with enlarged lymph nodes, abdominal pain, and a rash on his shoulder.” Grabbing onto a black marker, he started to write the known symptoms down on the white board. With his back turned to the group for a moment, he let the corners of his lips turn up for a split second. This felt good. “What did his former doctors think it was?” 

“Hodgkin lymphoma.” He made sure he kept his face neutral -- to not give any answers away. 

June scoffed, “Amateurs. And his blood?” 

He almost laughed.

As the conversation started to amp up, Ethan slipped back into his role on the diagnostics team easier then he had imagined. Bouncing off of each other during the differential — he had missed this. 

Then he realized Jordynne hadn’t said anything. She was sitting in her chair, looking slightly awestruck. But she was still writing notes diligently and observing them going back and forth. 

“Six months ago, however, he was admitted for flu-like symptoms and a rash on his arm.” Ethan continued, drawing his eyes away from her and focusing back on the conversation. 

“That could be the key. Did they biopsy it?” Baz asked, eyebrows raised and face hopeful. 

He pursed his lips, “They didn’t.”

“Any history of dermatitis?” 

“Was he on any medication prior to being admitted?” 

June and Baz asked one after the other, going through their mental lists. “No and no.” 

“It could be cutaneous Kikuchi disease.” Hirata suggested. But she didn't do suggestions -- she diagnosed. 

Interesting.  

June had gotten there first. But she was always like that. It was a race for her.  

“The symptoms do add up.” Dr. Mirani nodded, giving his colleague a look of approval. 

“I agree.” 

There was a knock on the door, and they looked up to see Danny on the other side of the glass. Ethan waved him in where he announced the patient's arrival at Edenbrook.

“Excellent. Dr. Holland,” He spoke directly to her for the first time that morning —holding his breath as he waited for her reaction. But her face remained neutral, looking up at him through her lashes as she waited for him to finish, “Run a biopsy on the patient’s rash. If we’re correct, we’ll begin the patient on a treatment of nonsteroidal anti-inflammatories and prednisone.” 

He noticed her swallow for a moment, listening to her instructions. “And if we’re wrong?” 

“We’ll re-evaluate.” 

“But we won’t need to,” June said confidently, leaning across the table at Jordynne with a wink. 

“Team dismissed. I’ll page you if I need you again today.” He turned around, going back to the white board to add their final notes and treatment plan. 

Out of his peripheral vision he saw Baz put a gentle hand on Jordynne’s shoulder. He lowered his head to speak in her softly, “I made the same face my first few days on the team. You’ll get used to it.”  

Ethan crossed over to his desk to find the patient's file. Rummaging in his pockets, he found his glasses and slid them on. Without looking up from his file, he spoke to Jordynne who had remained in the room, “After you’re done with our patient, you can see Ines and Zaid for further assignments. You’ll be balancing your work here with your usual resident duties. Now that you’re in your second year, that will include rotations at the free clinic.” 

“Yes, Dr. Ramsey.” Her voice was so professional, so trained. He had never heard her sound like that. It was like she had practiced.

He heard the sound of her crossing the room, and stepping towards the door. But then she hesitated. “Will we always diagnose a patient without seeing them?” She asked. 

“No, but we’re often asked for help by other hospitals all over the country, so it’s a good habit to keep our blind diagnosis skills sharp.” He finally looked up from his file, using his finger as a bookmark in it. But when he looked over to, his stomach flipped slightly as he found that her green eyes already staring at him.

He could see her hesitation, and maybe some nerves. She had just been thrown into the deep end -- and it seemed she was struggling to stay afloat. 

“Is everything alright, Jordynne?” 

He couldn’t help himself. Plus, it was his responsibility to ensure her success on the team now. It was apart of his job to check in on her.

“Actually...,” She made sure the glass door closed, before stepping further into the room, “Could we talk?” Her fingers were knotted together in front of her -- she looked nervous, and vulnerable. 

Ethan studied her for a moment, chewing the inside of his cheek, “About the job? Or about us?” 

Her eyebrows furrowed for a moment, like she was in pain. But it was for just for the smallest moment -- he had barely even caught it. “The job.”

Placing the file down, he pulled a chair from the center table out for her where they sat down together. He adjusted his glasses on the crook of his nose, before settling into his chair. “I’m all yours,” He said, folding his hands carefully on top of each other on the table as he waited for her to speak up.

“Dr. Ramsey...," A flicker of doubt crossed her face, before she opened her mouth, "How are you sure you made the right diagnosis?"

Grabbing the file in front of him, he pulled out the patient's previous charts and placed them in front of them. “In medicine, the most logical answer is usually the correct one. In this case, the most obvious answer was Hodgkin lymphoma.”

“But the other hospital had already eliminated Hodgkin lymphoma.” She finished for him. 

“Correct. Which allowed us to take it off the board and considered the next most logical answer.” He pointed back over his shoulder to the symptoms he had written on the board in his chicken scratch, “The patient had a persistent rash. Paired with the symptoms present, the most logical answer is Kikuchi disease." He met her eye easily across the table, before matching her vulnerability, "But as to how I’m so sure, I’m not. Which is why you’ll be running a biopsy. We need to trust in our diagnostic instincts, but the second we let arrogance overrule the results, we fail as doctors.” 

“So I should use logic... and be humble?” Her eyebrows were tugging in the middle as she processed his advice.  

“And read journals. I want you to turn yourself into a walking disease encyclopedia. You can’t diagnose the patient if you don’t study up. If the patients we saw had more common diseases... they’d never have been referred to us in the first place.” 

“Got it.” She nodded -- eyeing the bookshelves behind them that were filled with textbooks.

“So what did you think of the team?" He asked curiously, "It was the three of us under Naveen last year, until he put himself out to pasture.” 

A soft chuckle escaped her, “You mean became Chief of Medicine?”

He smiled at the sound, “Precisely.” 

“Well, we just met but I think I liked Baz.” Jordynne offered, pursing her lips.  

“He’s hard to dislike. Walking proof that genetics aren’t everything.” 

“When did he join the team?”

“A couple years ago, when Zaid began his residency. He sought a position here to be closer to his brother.” 

Her eyebrows raised in surprise, “Can’t believe Zaid would be okay with that.” 

“Supposedly, the old chief cleared it with Zaid before he approved the transfer. But I heard a rumor that it was Baz, dressed up pretending to be Zaid.” 

Her mouth fell open, “He wouldn’t!” 

He shrugged, a cheeky smile spreading across his face. “I don’t pay any mind to rumors.” 

She smirked back at him -- and he could feel the nervousness and ice melting between them. They could do this. 

Two colleagues conversing normally. This was fine. 

“So if I want to get on Baz’s good side, how do I go about that?” She leaned in a bit more towards him, putting her elbow on the table and resting her chin on her fist. 

Ethan thought for a moment before replying, “Baz is earnest to a fault. He respects authenticity more than anything so... as much as I despise saying anything so incredibly banal, my advice would be... “be yourself”,” He grimaced as the words left his mouth. 

“Oof—“ She chuckled, “That must have hurt to say aloud.” She knew him well. “That’s why you’ll never hear it again.” 

She let out another laugh, but this one sounded more sad. Then a sigh escaped her, and she started picking at her lip, “I thought I was so ready for this year. How do I feel like a clueless intern all over again?”

“Because you are clueless, relatively speaking.” 

She frowned, “Gee, thanks.”

His stomach dropped -- that's not what he meant. “It wasn't an insult," He scrambled to get out, "You get to spend the second year of your residency in a small room with over three decades of collective medical knowledge and experience. Learn from it. Be inspired to become a better doctor from it.” He looked up, and found her already looking at him again. His thick brows furrowed, “What is it?” 

“Oh uh... your glasses...," Her words trailed off as she looked at him, "They make you look smart.” She sounded a little breathless. 

He did his best to ignore how that made him feel, the blush that might have been creeping up on his cheeks. So he hid between cheek and tongue. “You’ve caught me. The illusion behind my status. Without these I’m a simpering moron.”

The pair was quiet for a beat, before bursting out laughing. As they laughed, she casually tapped his hand with hers. “Thank you,” She spoke again, but this time her voice was quiet. 

Her fingers had lingered on his hand, so she gave it a squeeze. They were cold on his warm skin.

Ethan's jaw set as he felt those familiar sparks. Jordynne...” His voice was a warning. It was only the first hour of their first day. 

“I know.” She said carefully, but she looked down at the table. 

“We’ll be okay. We’ll make it work.” 

He wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince. 

“Yeah,” She breathed out. 

He moved his thumb gently across her fingers, daring to give her just that smallest bit of comfort. But the sound of the glass door whooshing open caused him to rip his hand away. 

“Whoops! Forgot my pager! That could have been very bad!” Baz strolled back into the office -- oblivious to what he had just walked in on. 

Both Ethan and Jordynne bolted out of their chairs, stepping away from each other. 

“Hmm. Yes. It’s right over there on the table.” Ethan pointed before shoving his guilty hands into his lab coat.

“I’ll get those tests run.” Jordynne had moved to the door, her arms crossed over her chest and face flushing red with embarrassment. 

“Excellent. Thank you.” He said with a nod, watching as she turned on her heel and marched down the hallway. 

Why was nothing ever easy with Jordynne Holland? 

Would this year be any different? 

_______________________________________________________________

"Cholecystitis." Jordynne said as she finished adding it to the whiteboard in the diagnostics room. Her perfect block letters standing out drastically against Dr. Ramsey's messy scratch. "Inflamed gull bladder which explains the abdominal pain after eating. Which is entirely separate from Kikuchi disease."

She turned around, capping the pen with a confident smile. Esme was standing near the door, watching the scene unfurl with crossed arms. 

"I have to say, I'm not sure I would have spotted that." June spoke first -- looking mildly impressed. 

"Nice catch, Jordynne." Baz gave her a big smile. 

"Indeed. Especially since we had been diagnosing based on reports, not our own face-to-face interviews. Dr. Holland's specialty has always been listening to her patients. Well done." He gave her a nod, a smile threatening to show on his face. 

"It wasn't just me. Dr. Ortega assisted." She nodded to her intern at the door. She knew that drove Ethan crazy -- passing along credit to her colleagues. But Esme deserved it. 

"Hey," Esme nodded her head at the trio from the corner of the room, attempting a smile.

"So this is your intern?" Ramsey stepped forward, eyebrows raised. "Well, Dr. Ortega...," He sized her up for a moment, before moving his steely eyes over to Jordynne. "Dr. Holland's one of our best. Consider yourself lucky."

Jordynne felt warmth spread in her chest -- feeling proud of herself. High praise from Dr. Ramsey -- everything between them aside. 

"I do, Dr. Ramsey." 

"Keep me updated on his treatment." Ethan asked politely, before filing out of the room with the rest of the diagnostics team. 

"So I guess you're pretty good at this." Her intern looked at her with a little smirk. "You saw for yourself, I learned from the best. Edenbrook has some of the best doctors in America, and you'll learn from them all. And not just the attendings, but your fellow interns too. I wouldn't have made it through without my friends."

"You telling me to what... be more social?" Esme looked up at her -- her face filled with doubt.

She shrugged, the corners of her lips tugging up, "It can't hurt."

"It definitely can."

"Donahue's from the other night? That's where everyone goes. But first, let's get you back to your patients." Jordynne started to shuffle out of the office, but Esme's voice stopped her. 

"Right... Hey, Dr. Holland? Thanks for not bailing on me. Gotta say, that's a new one." She sounded genuine.

"Sure thing, Ortega. I got your back." 

This year could be different.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers Annual #12: MOONRISE

September, 1983

Earth’s Mightiest Heroes battle -- the Moon’s Mightiest Heroes... The Uncanny Inhumans!

With the population of the Moon being just the Inhumans plus Uatu, that’s kind of an overly narrow superlative.

But I do love this cover! The Avengers all forming a big A? Good stuff!

So the timeline of this annual is all kinds of screwed up.

It was released in September and published in November (whatever that means) but its supposed to pre-date Fantastic Four #254.

FF #254 and Avengers #232 overlap. In fact, FF #254 coming out in May and Avengers #232 share the scene where She-Hulk bonks off an invisible wall with what seems to be the same dialogue.

But despite meeting Reed in this Annual, he doesn’t recognize new Captain Marvel in Fantastic Four #256.

But this has to happen before Avengers #233 and FF #254-256. Due to changes that are going to take place in and after that story but also has the FF show up in costume changes that will take place during the listed period.

Its also weird from the Avengers standpoint because Starfox is part of the Avengers in this annual but he just joined in #232 and got sent on his first mission which happens at the same time as She-Hulk is bonking off that invisible wall.

So it makes no sense anywhere but I’ll cover it here to get it out of the way so I can cover Avengers #233 and FF #254-256 in one post, heavily summarizing down on the FF as its not as relevant.

So long story short: this issue fits weirdly in the timeline but lets get it over with.

The issue starts with the Avengers being secretly escorted before the UN Security Council FOR THE TRIAL INFORMAL HEARING OF THE FANTASTIC FOUR!

Why?

Reasons.

Inhuman-related reasons.

In an area usually masked with lunar dust, the SHIELD space platform discovered a whole ass city on the Moon, distinct from the whole ass city that already existed on the Moon.

A city full of all kinds of fantastical life.

Guy who is not Gyrich: “Clearly, the region heretofore known only as the Blue Area, is not only habitable -- it is inhabited by a race of beings possessed of incredible science, technology, and, it appears, superhuman powers! Beings, honored ambassadors, who are not human!”

Ambassador Gregorovich: “Da! Inhabiting Earth’s Moon in a strategic orbital position -- but not human!”

Mr Fantastic: “No, Ambassador Gregorovich, the occupants of the city of Attilan are not human. They are... the INHUMANS!”

Reed... why do you think this is helpful?

He then decides to give their entire ass backstory. Explaining how they were humans once but then aliens came and did some experiments on early human and created a genetic offshoot who became known as the Inhumans.

How the Inhumans kept their numbers low and avoided contact with humans by hiding in various places, including the Himalayas.

The Chinese ambassador complains that the Fantastic Four knew about this entire ass city in China’s backyard but didn’t report it.

Reed defends the decision because the Inhumans just wanted to be left alone. And also that for a long while the city was stuck under a dome and incapable of posing a threat to the outside world.

How when the dome was broken by Black Bolt’s mighty voice, the Inhumans continued to want to be left alone but were eventually attacked by a group called the Enclave while at the same time being struck weak to a mysterious illness called POLLUTION.

And how to escape POLLUTION, the Inhumans just fuckin’ moved their entire ass city to the Moon.

Cap: “The perfect solution!”

Wasp: “Was it, Cap?”

She-Hulk: “If it were, I have a hunch we wouldn’t be here today!”

Heh. Love the peanut gallerying.

The Security Council objects too because the FF enabled a secret super human race to live on the Moon, which is a great strategic location for attacking the Earth. Just look at any number of sci-fi.

Of course, this argument is slightly undermined by the Inhumans and their ridiculously long track record of minding their own business.

It’s pretty notable that when modern human pollution threatened their entire race, they just shrugged and moved to the Moon.

But despite that, the Security Council needs reassurance that the Inhumans pose no threat to Earth.

The Fantastic Four offer to go to the Moon and talk to the Inhumans but the Security Council says no on the basis of ‘you’ve done enough already’ and says that the Avengers will go instead.

I was wondering what any of this had to do with the Avengers!

I’m actually surprised that the entire Security Council agrees to send the Avengers. Earlier, Ambassador Gregorovich was complaining that Security Council had called American Superhero Team Avengers to the hearing of American Superhero Team the Fantastic Four.

You’d expect him to at least insist that some Russian superheroes be sent too.

Which would be cool, honestly.

The Soviet Super-Soldiers had been introduced a couple years before. Coulda done a combination Soviet Super-Soldiers and Avengers mission. Or heck, superheroes from each member of the  Security Council.

I understand why Mantlo didn’t do that since this is pretty much a done in one Avengers vs Inhumans slugfest and what I”m proposing really complicates things. But he also created the Super-Soldiers so it just feels like it works.

Anyway, the Security Council sends the Avengers on a fact finding mission to determine whether the UN will enter into a treaty with the Inhumans on the Moon.

As ya do.

The Avengers travel to the MOON in one of the space quinjets that they have for flying to the Moon.

Also, at some point they picked up Scarlet Witch and Vision. I guess for the former’s ties to the Inhumans through Quicksilver.

The Avengers are met on the MOON by the Inhumans Royal Family, aka the only important ones. I know that there’s an entire city of these dinguses but whenever anyone says “the Inhumans” they usually just mean the royal family.

Anyway, its been a while since the Avengers and Inhumans had a get together, so Cap introduces the Inhumans to the Newest Avengers: She-Hulk, Captain Marvel (2.0), and Starfox.

We get some New To This Sort of Thing from Monica as she marvels, captainly, that she’s actually on the Moon!

Then Crystal shows off her new baby Luna. Named for the Moon. Like how sometimes people name babies Gaia, no doubt. Or Tara.

She-Hulk: “Quicksilver and Crystal’s baby? Oh, gee! She’s so... cute!”

Wasp: “You sound almost envious, She-Hulk!”

Wasp, pls. Just let Jen compliment someone’s baby without ascribing motives.

Quicksilver also has an awkward greeting with Scarlet Wanda and Vision.

Because actually they were on the Moon recently. Where they learned that Magneto Is Secretly Wanda and Pietro’s Father.

And Wanda is not really ready to come to terms with that.

If she waits long enough, she’ll never have to because the retcon pendulum swung the other way eventually and now he’s not their father. And since he was an albatross hanging around their necks, necks that weren’t unburdened by albatrosses already, I can’t say I’m upset about it.

And Also: he never did any parenting of them. He swooped in when they were full ass grown adults and tried to act like their relationship meant anything aside from the whole coercing into terrorism and making Wanda sexy dance for him parts.

Most of the people that are big upset that Magneto was retconned away from being their dad never gave a shit about the man who actually raised them.

Poor Django Maximoff.

Anyway, that’s a long rant to establish that now is when John Byrne’s masterplan to have Magneto and Quicksilver related because they have the same haircut finally came to fruition.

His plan to make Sandman and Norman Osborn related is still pending at the time of this issue.

And the impact of that (Magneto reveal) is a recent bombshell to Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, and Vision.

It doesn’t really affect anything in this issue though.

Annnyway.

Medusa asks whether the Avengers really popped up to the Moon for a social call but Cap says sadly no.

That they’re here because the various Earth governments aren’t happy that the Inhumans are looking down on them from space.

Gorgon and Karnak are a bit upset about this because they had to flee Earth because of all the human pollutions humans were polluting and now humans have sent people to hassle them at their change of address.

Wanda and Wasp smooth things over by saying that they’re just here to assure each other that humans (and mutants and etc) and peacefully coexist with Inhumans across the small vastness of space.

Black Bolt steps forward to react to this offer by doing a shrug which is interpreted as the open hands of peace and friendship.

Wasp: “The open hands of peace and friendship? We’ll tell the nations of Earth they’ve nothing to fear, Black Bolt!”

Cool beans.

Although, I’m pretty sure that the UN expected more than a... uh... ‘we cool?’ exchange.

I believe the term used was “fact-finding mission.” But whatever.

Lets instead talk about fashion, briefly.

Most of the Avengers and Inhumans are wearing the sort of thing that they always wear. But Wasp is wearing an outfit I’ll call ‘the Magneto variant of her ripoff Molecule Man costume.’

The one usually in green and purple except its in red and purple. It looks good on her. But her new (80s?) haircut looks good too. Its maybe a lady’s mullet? But whatever it is, Janet is rocking it.

On the other hand we have She-Hulk who is wearing an aerobics-chic type costume complete with legwarmers. She also was interested in an aerobics instructor job several issues ago. I do not know what’s going on with her lately.

The 80s, maybes.

The Inhumans take the Avengers on a tour of Moon Attilan wherein Lockjaw becomes very enamored with Starfox and would, if this were a modern comic where sensibilities have shifted more crass, probably try humping his leg.

He is very fond of Eros.

Anyway, the Inhumans decide to take the Avengers to the Royal Crypt because I don’t know.

Its kind of morbid for a tour of the city to show the Avengers the crystal coffin that contains the dead, deceased body corpse of Maximus (the Mad). Like, what the heck, the Inhumans.

I guess its important for plot reasons to establish that its here.

But what the heck, the Inhumans??

Medusa exposits that Maximus is the one who initiated the Enclave attack on Attilan that preceded moving to the Moon! But while all of the Inhumans were stricken with pollution sickness, Maximus seemingly had a change of heart and turned against the Enclave, saving Attilan at the cost of his own life.

Maximus is very like a dumber, less charismatic Loki in a lot of most of the ways.

Having doomed and then saved the Inhumans, they honor him by putting him in a crystal box right at the front of the crypt so everyone can look at it.

Weird.

When the Inhumans and Avengers are leaving the crypt, Lockjaw becomes confused and intrigued by a familiar scent from the crystal box and then doggy glares suspiciously at Black Bolt.

Then, as the doors to the crypt are shut, Maximus’ eyes open as he screams internally forever.

So that’s a thing.

A kind of easy to unravel the mystery of thing.

Because, just saying, the Inhumans have the same plots over and over. And I mean narrative plots and scheme plots.

With everything be settled forever by one tour where they looked at a dead body and the Inhumans definitely being no threat to Earth at all ever no way, She-Hulk vows that she’ll use all of her legal experience to present a brief to the UN defending the Inhumans’ right to inhabit the Moon.

In fairness, I don’t think they signed the treaty saying not to weaponize space so...

Now: its time to party down.

Annnnnd its kind of a half-hearted affair.

Half the people are standing around moodily instead of partying. Like Quicksilver and Medusa are glaring at each other. Black Bolt is doing what Black Bolt do and just sitting on his throne.

I know he can’t talk but he can dance, right? Or does that shatter mountains too?

In fact, only She-Hulk and Triton are dancing and Triton is ruining it by making fish puns.

Wait, this side of the party looks a lot cooler!

What the heck, was there an option to have this sweet butterfly lady as a recurring Inhuman all along and they never took it? What the heck!

Anyway, a few of the background Inhumans including sweet butterfly lady are all over Starfox and his come-hither psychic powers.

Meanwhile, Cap takes some time to stare at Black Bolt not enjoying himself.

Scarlet Witch goes over to Medusa and verbally notices she looks bummed. She confesses that Black Bolt has become aloof and distant since they came to the... Moon...

HOW THE HECK WOULD YOU TELL?

Anyway. Wanda tells Vision she’s concerned for those two crazy kids but Vision wants nothing to do with anyone else’s drama.

Scarlet Witch: “Vision, I’m concerned for Medusa and Black Bolt.”

Vision: “As am I... But it is their affair... For them to resolve. We are here simply as ambassadors of peace, my wife, nothing more.”

Scarlet Witch: “But...”

Vision: “Nothing more.”

She-Hulk decides that the thing to do at a party is obviously to go pet the host’s dog. I mean, that’s why people socialize, right? To pet dogs?

But Lockjaw is upset over something and teleports next to Black Bolt so he can growl in his general direction.

The narration says “But what Lockjaw knows... he dares not tell... yet.”

I hope this isn’t during the period where it was canon that Lockjaw wasn’t an Inhuman dog, he was an Inhuman that looked like a dog that everyone treated as a pet despite being as intelligent as any of them.

That was a weird time.

Thankfully retconned to be just a prank that Karnak and Gorgon were pulling on the Thing.

Weird prank but sure.

Later, after the party, Medusa wakes from a fitful sleep to stare dramatically into the night and drama fret over the rift growing between her and Black Bolt.

But Black Bolt has gone to the crypt where he leans in to speak to Maximus’ crystal coffin.

Weirdly, him speaking doesn’t break everything like it usually is known to do.

Perhaps a cluuuue.

Black Bolt (?) asks Maximus (?) if he’s sleeping well and then tells him he must be off to the secret staircase hidden under the crystal coffin.

As ya do.

Elsewhere, Scarlet Witch wakes with a start because her vaguely magically mutant powers have given her a DREAM VISION OF EARTH UNDER ATTACK

Also: I’m always amused when the comic remembers that Vision’s costume is a costume that he can take off. Enjoy some Vision fanservice.

Vision tries to tell Wanda that it was just a dream and that she shouldn’t be afraid of dreams because Logic but then Captain America runs by the room shouting AVENGERS ASSEMBLE because a distress call came from SHIELD about the EARTH being UNDER ATTACK.

Just like Wanda’s dream.

Maybe try not to invalidate Wanda, Vizh.

Anyway, moon rocks are being flung at Earth and you’ll never guess from where!

From the Moon!

The Avengers are obviously not really but kinda implying that the Inhumans might know something about it

But before pointing fingers, Wasp tells Thor to go intercept the moon rocks since he’s the only one fast and buff enough to do it. Also he can hold his breath like a real long time.

Because, yeah, he explicitly has to take a deep breath of Moon air before launching into space.

Out in space, Thor sees where the moon rocks are being launched from (doesn’t look like from Attilan so that’s something) but he’s too busy launching Mjolnir to pulverize some rocks and punching other rocks to follow them to their source.

Also, onslought.

That’s possibly a typo but I like to believe that onslought is just how its spelled in Marvel so that Onslaught is an even stupider name.

But the onslought of rocks is too rapid for Thor to make any headway. For every rock he shatters, there’s two more behind it.

So he’s out of the plot and punching rocks for a while.

Meanwhile, now its the time to point fingers.

The Inhumans are getting pretty defensive at the suggestion that the moon rocks that are being launched from the moon might be from the moon and therefore that the Inhumans might possibly be involved as they are the only ones who live on the Moon except Uatu. And Uatu wouldn’t launch a moon rock unless he could find a way that it wouldn’t be counting as interfering.

Like maybe if it landed on Frank Castle’s family.

Gorgon: “I do not like being accused of betrayal, Karnak!”

Quicksilver: “Nor do I like hearing my adopted home slandered!”

She-Hulk: “Yeah, well, names won’t hurt you -- but those moonstones are gonna break Earth’s bones!”

Unlikely! Definitely be an extinction event but Earth has strong bones.

Also, what a weird thing to say, She-Hulk!

So in quick defense of the Inhumans who are probably obviously not behind this: if they were going to throw rocks at Earth, they’re definitely smart enough to wait until the Avengers are home instead of doing it while they’re within range to punch.

They’re slightly too smart for that.

Crystal asks Scarlet Witch and Vision to mediate since they have ties on both sides but Black Bolt arrives before any mediation can happen.

And Black Bolt clears everything right up!

By declaring war on Earth and ordering the execution of the Avengers!

Yup, no ambiguity there!

But surely, the Inhumans won’t just jump to obey an unjust order, right? Surely, they will object and demand an explanation for this new course of action that’s practically a 180 from his previous position?

Hahah, of course they don’t. These fucking idiots.

Gorgon: “If Black Bolt commands undying enmity between our races, it must be with reason!”

God.

So while the Avengers are still trying to be like ‘lets use our words, people’ the Inhumans just leap right into attacking.

Even Lockjaw jumps forward and locks his jaws on Cap’s shield.

Pietro frets, not knowing where he fits in.

Quicksilver: “Where do I stand? I am not an Inhuman, but a mutant! My child is human, tied to Earth!”

Crystal: “But Attilan is your home, my husband!”

Unspoken: ‘And what the fuck, I’m your wife!’

Quicksilver is convinced though and runs into the fray. Wanda protests so obviously Crystal starts attacking her.

Wow, the Inhumans come off as dicks in this.

So some pointless fight scene summarization.

Starfox ends up rolling around on the ground with Triton where Starfox gives Triton an orgasm. I assume. He pleasure blasts his brain making the guy laugh uncontrollably and collapse into a fountain. And then Triton gets Starfox all wet. By splashing him with the fountain water.

Quicksilver tries to punch Captain Marvel but she’s faster than him.

Because she can go lightspeed.

In fact, she makes him look like a dumb joke just dodging around and then punching him in the back of the head. And also, like, he’s the resident speedster of Marvel and he looks like a slow joke next to Monica Rambeau and Silver Surfer. And they had him flight Flash once and that was like Flash was challenging a baby to a fist fight, just remarkably mismatched.

But since there’s kind of a back and forth dealie going on, he spins her right round like a record round round round by running around her real fast when she makes the mistake of standing still.

Meanwhilelsewhere, Vision goes up against Karnak. And trash talks Karnak about how dumb it is trying to punch an intangible or diamond man. And then he fists Karnak with that fist thing he does sometimes. But Karnak vibrates his hand so he can smack intangible Vision.

Yup.

But nearby, Cap is still trying to wrestle his shield out of Lockjaw’s mouth and the dog flings him into Karnak, knocking the guy down.

The fight turns for the Avengers. She-Hulk punches out Gorgon quipping “steel toes can’t compensate for a glass jaw!”

Captain Marvel blasts out some of her energy, which knocks Quicksilver on his ass.

Annnnnd. Wasp never bothered to fight Medusa. Because designated girl fights are passe. But mostly because eh fuck it.

Wasp: “What of us, Medusa? Are we to fight, too? Will you blindly obey Black Bolt -- though you know some force upon the Moon is attacking Earth? Don’t you owe it to yourself to find out who -- and why... rather than accept the rash dictate of your leader that this battle must go on?!”

Medusa: “Though we have chosen Black Bolt as our king, Wasp, every Inhuman of the Royal Family is of equal rank. That status gives us the right to question Black Bolt’s decrees should we come to doubt their vision! Thus, I choose to exercise my right, Black Bolt, and pose the question... WHY??!”

Now, see, Gorgon? If you had bothered to think with your head brains instead of leaping right to “NEVER QUESTION LEADER” maybe you wouldn’t have had your block dented by She-Hulk. Think about that for next time.

Also, good on Wasp for being one of the best Avengers leaders. She’s super good at not jumping in half-assed.

She-Hulk decides Black Bolt is taking too long and grabs him and demands he speak.

Which would be a hilariously ill-thought out in other circumstances.

Black Bolt: “Unhand me, you -- you savage!”

Everyone is like ‘OH SHIT’ and tries to duck and cover but no mass destruction and loss of life occurs.

Captain America: “Black Bolt spoke -- and we’re all alive!”

Medusa: “IMPOSTER!”

Except its less an imposter and more someone stole Black Bolt’s body, apparently? At least that’s what Medusa figures.

Are... his powers not tied to his body? What??

Anyway, Lockjaw is finally like ‘my moment is here!’ I guess because he leads the AvengersInhumans to the Royal Crypt and Maximus’ cool crystal corpse box.

Captain America: “Of course! That’s the only logical answer!”

Because duh.

Medusa puts together that if Maximus is Black Bolt, Black Bolt must be Maximus so Maximus must not be dead. And then chokes ‘Black Bolt’ until he admits it.

Pretty hardcore, Medusa.

Karnak and Vision combine their respective powers to break the apparently self-healing harder than diamond crystal coffin.

That’s a lot of stuff that this coffin does but I get it. If you’re bearing Maximus and for some reason don’t want to just bury his body in concrete, you do the next best thing and put him in a self-healing diamond crystal coffin to minimize the chances that he’ll inevitably come back from the dead like he did do.

The freed ‘Maximus’ stalks towards ‘Black Bolt’ to real Maximus’ fear and begging that surely Black Bolt wouldn’t harm his own body.

And I’m further confused about how the powers work because Black Bolt in Maximus doesn’t say anything here so maybe the power is with his mind but also as he sternly corners Maximus in Black Bolt, the tuning fork on Black Bolt’s body’s forehead starts crackling with an awesome power.

So is the power still in the body? Or what?

Anyway, ‘Maximus’ lays hands on ‘Black Bolt’ and this causes their minds to swap back. Thankfully, considering how confusing all these qualifiers were beginning to get.

Now with everyone in the right bodies, its time for Maximus to Explain It All.

So back in that story where the Enclave attacked Attilan, Maximus was part of the plan scheming because he wanted to overthrow his brother and become the ruler. As is his repetitive goal.

But the Enclave pressed the advantage over Maximus’ objections when the pollution sickness made the Inhumans to weak to fight back. They were even going to execute Medusa.

So Maximus turned on the Enclave, used an improperly shielded giant laser, and ended up in a coma.

Maximus whines about how the Inhumans should have listened to him and subjugated humanity to stop their evil polluting ways so that the Inhumans wouldn’t have been forced to the Moon.

But ironically, getting forced to the Moon worked out for the dingus because there was a powerful crystal on the Moon which woke Maximus from his coma and gave him the new never before possible power to swap minds with Black Bolt.

And then like a guy that makes good decisions that aren’t bad, Maximus got in contact with the Enclave again.

Gorgon: “You again allied yourself with our human foes?”

Triton: “For good reason is he called Maximus the Mad!”

Or at least Maximus the bad at decisions.

Maximus: “No! Don’t you see? Our strategic location, combined with the Enclave’s tactical expertise, make us invincible!”

In his own defense, Maximus argues that the Enclave is going to bombard Earth with rocks until humanity is mostly dead and then the Inhumans can go back to Earth.

Presumably... I mean... after all that nuclear winter from all the stuff blasted up into the atmosphere?

Maximus is supposedly a genius but ehhhh I don’t see it.

He is squirrely though because he uses his psionic powers that he has to freeze everyone in place and then runs off, all but cackling.

And like a smart person, he flees right to the hidden base where Alpha Primitives have been pressed into the service of the Enclave.

He tells them that they’ve got to flee because the jig is up but the Enclave are less than convinced in their salmon jumpsuits.

An Enclave Guy: “What?! Just run off and abandon our meteoroid launchers?!”

Meteoroid launcher is a fun name for death from above.

Another one points out, hey wait Maximus screwed us over once, maybe he’s lying again.

And summoned by the opportunity to deliver a sweet line, Captain America (and others) are teleported in by Lockjaw.

Captain America: “You can believe him, mister -- this time, Maximus is telling the truth!”

Yeah. Maximus led the Avengers slash Inhumans right to the Enclave.

He’s not smart! Or he has that INT WIS division going on.

The Enclave don’t get a chance to try to fight (and thank god, we’ve had enough fight scene in this book) because Black Bolt just blasts them all in one go, resolving the plot in one panel.

Meanwhile, out in space, Thor is like oh good people have stopped throwing rocks at me. He was holding his breath this whole time after all and even he would have needed to reenter atmosphere soon.

With the Enclave in varying degrees of sprawled on their asses, the Inhumans can turn their attention back to Maximus for the assholery de jour.

He’s not repentant.

Maximus: “You don’t dare attack me, Gorgon! I am your brother, Black Bolt! I have as much right as you to the throne of Attilan! Like you, I wish only the best for our people! But, fool that you are, you refuse to admit our superiority to the humans! It is our destiny to establish dominion over the Earth! We must not be content with exile on this barren world! We must reoccupy the Earth! To do otherwise would be to deny our heritage! You know I’m right, Black Bolt! Admit it! Admit it!”

Black Bolt just turns his back on Maximus and gestures the others to take him away.

Since he never talks, he’s the master of the non-verbal shut down.

With the shooting meteors at Earth and also Maximus plots tied up, the Avengers get back to why they’re up here in the first place.

Wasp: “What reassurance does the Earth have that they won’t be attacked again?”

Gorgon: “What reassurance have we that the Earth will not attack us? Humanity is better equipped for war than we! And it was the human scientists of the Enclave that fomented this battle!”

Medusa: “Of our people, none save Maximus have ever waged war against mankind. The Inhumans will ever seek the ways of peace. That is the solemn pledge of Black Bolt and the family royal. Tell that to your leaders... and ask if they can truly pledge the same!”

Okay, fair enough, fair enough. The Enclave were humans but on the other hand, it was Maximus who invited them to the Moon.

So maybe guarantee that you’ll keep Maximus on a leash?

Or do you not want to make promises you know you can’t keep?

Maybe at least promise you all won’t immediately jump to action if Black Bolt suggests that it’s time to destroy humanity. Please. Apply some critical thinking.

Annnnyway, the Avengers promise to deliver this message to the UN and “pray that our fellow man is wise enough to reply in kind!”

But seriously. Maximus causes like. 70% of the Inhumans’ problems. Get a better handle on him, you dipshits.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because I’m brave enough to say ‘I don’t always like the Inhumans’ which I can assure you without bothering to google is probably a rare opinion. Also, like and reblog to make me feel appreciated.

[prisonhannibal]

Do you have any cablepool fanfic recommendations bc I suffer daily trying to find good ones (especially comic based, but movie is fine too)

I think you might be a long distance telepath because I got an ask like this a while ago and didn’t answer it bc I needed time to think. and then I couldn’t find it in my inbox so I decided to just write a regular post, and while I was writing that post I got this ask!

ok these are in no particular order and I’m not using the actual plot summaries the authors used on ao3, just making stuff up or using quotes from the fic

one-shots

Landing on both broken hearted knees by rayguntomyhead (1.6k words, rated M)

Post Deadpool 2. Wade and Nate share a hotel room. I know what you’re thinking, it’s not that kind of fic. Nothing is going on with them yet.

Tropes by quakey (2.2k words, rated T)

Wade’s been reading TVtropes, and if Nate is fucking with him right now, Wade is gonna gut him like a fish and throw his bloody corpse in the sea for the sharks.

These days are great and so are you by bankrobbery (3k words, rated T)

Movie based. Wade gets kinkshamed by Weasel and hawaiian-shirt-shamed by Cable. They’re at the bar, basically

Motormouth by pavonine (13k words, rated T)

Wade can’t shut the fuck up, and this time it’s not even his fault! Wade’s been cursed to never be able to stop talking, which is really fucking inconvenient if you’ve got stuff you’re trying to not say.

also the norwegian prime minister is in it very briefly, and it was posted in 2013, when jens stoltenberg was the PM so I’m just gonna assume it’s him and bring your attention to this picture of him which I think is hilarious

Pressure points by denims (2k words, rated M)

Cable keeps casually touching him, which probably doesn’t mean anything (don’t listen to domino, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about), but it makes Wade feel weird. So, so weird.

Multi-chapter

Wade will f*** shit up for you by Quakey @withoutaconscienceorafilter (48k words, rated E, so minors stay away from this one, it’s the only thing on the list with actually NSFW scenes.)

The craigslist ad said “My name’s Wade and I fuck shit up professionally. So your ex getting married? I’ll crash that shit. Your job fire before their company picnick? I’ll show up with tequila and throw hands. Got some one one you hate an just wanna fuck their day up? I’m all over that shit. Serving all situations where we customize your service to your liking email me for pricing. Services guaranteed with video.” Maybe this is a horrible idea, and maybe he shouldn’t have, but Nate did answer it, so things are definitely about to get weird

I’m biased on this one because it was based on a post I made but it seriously is really good it’s super funny (almost choked to death trying not to laugh on the bus at one point) and in character and some of the scenes are so so so cute. Not sold yet? Hope is in it. AND Ellie. Hell yeah! This one is movie based, and I really like that it’s a regular non powered AU, but Nate’s arm+eye and Wade’s scars are still included. Like Nate has a prosthetic arm and Wade actually looks like Wade.

Fistful of shovels by surefall (28.6k words, rated T)

Now, you might be thinking, ms. Mutantapologist, this is tagged spideypool?? It is, but just trust me okay

Wade’s best friend, bromanciest of bros to ever bro, Nathan Summers is back in his life, and he’s really starting to get under Peter’s skin. They’re just too close, and Nathan is there all the damn time. List of things Wade’s weird time traveling BFF would look good in: 1. his own damn home. Nate and Peter get passive aggressive and competitive, Nate’s manipulative tendencies make an appearance, Peter is kind of a dick, and Wade’s honestly just happy to have his BFF back.

this is one of my favorite portrayals of their relationship dynamic tbh. just...their unbreakable bond...the way they keep coming back to each other through time and dimensions...that shit makes me cryyyy. and how well they know each other..the trust...the casual intimacy....how comfortable they’re with each other...also the dialogue in this is perfect, love their banter. This one is “screenshotting quotes and sending them to your friends” level funny. they also play mario kart and I think that’s nice.

Read Omake: Fistful of shovels for the Deleted Scenes Edition that has stuff that didn’t make it into the final fic or alternate versions of scenes. includes: Nate sending a shirtless selfie with ulterior motives, Nate being sort of a home wrecker (but at least he’s more honest about it!), aunt May, Nate being accused of being a bottom, etc.

Strangers by totallynotremus @totallynotremus (31k, rated T)

Nate plays games. Not weird manipulative mind games this time. Actual games. Online. With Wade and his friends. Wade feels targeted because come on, you behave mildly flirtatiously with the guy your friend group is gaming with online a lot acouple of times and suddenly your so called “friends” won’t stop harassing you about it. unbelievable. this one is also super funny

Motion Practice Universe: Cablepool Edition

I couldn’t put these in either category because they need to be in order and there’s one-shots AND a multi chapter fic so i’d have to separate them and that wouldn’t work. These are part of the (as of august 2020) 1,405,078 words long Motion Practice Universe, but you don’t need to read the rest of it to know what’s going on, I didn’t and it works 100% fine as a stand-alone storyline

Wade Wilson explains it all (or at least, how Clint’s keeping his job. Mostly keeping his job. It’s complicated.) by the_wordbutler (3.3k words, rated T)

Wade is trying to put together a fruit basket for Clint, because he’s a thoughtful friend (who does not get enough credit, hello?), unlike some other people. Example: his coworkers, who won’t let him focus on his super special important project (fruit basket!). And Nate, who’s eating an orange (from the fruit basket!😡) which has no business being that distracting.

it’s sort of an introduction to the next thing in the list, and I highly recommend reading it first. Definitely does a great job at showing what you’re gonna get from the full fic. Also, it’s cute and funny.

Admissions, Interrogatories, and other discoveries by the_wordbutler (150k words, rated M)

No, that wasn’t a typo, it really is 150k words. And I read it. Twice.

Basically, Wade is a criminal defense attorney, good job, you get to defend goat fuckers and other weirdos. Fun times. Nate’s a coworker, works in immigration and civil rights law, they do projects together. Just a bro he jokes around with, who sometimes brings Wade lunch, and whose arms Wade really likes to stare at, but that doesn’t mean anything, right?

this one is REAL slowburn (never in my LIFE have i experienced slow burn like this one holy FUCK), great relationship development and I just love their dynamic and banter in this one. Perfect dialogue and it’s really fucking funny, made me laugh out loud at several points! AND!! Hope is in it<3

What I learned on my summer vacation, an essay by Hope Summers by the_wordbutler (4.5k words, rated T)

Sequel to Admissions, interrogatories and other m discoveries. Wade, Nate, and ten year old Hope go to Disney World, and the beach. A lot of love and family<3 Wade took 3 sign language classes to talk to Hope (who’s deaf)

I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot of great ones but here’s what I could think of rn!!

[demisexualemmaswan]

the story can resume (1/???)

Summary: "The story can resume. ... I will return. Find you, love you, marry you and live without shame.”

An unfortunate misunderstanding caused by secrets and naivety forces a young couple to be torn from each other far too soon. It's up to Henry Nolan to put the clues together and right the wrong he has caused his sister and the man she loves most.

Inspired by the book/film Atonement for the Captain Swan Movie Marathon.  

A/N: Hello! It's my turn to post for the Captain Swan Movie Marathon. This is inspired by the book/film Atonement and also just me wanting to see Jen in that green dress. If you've seen the movie, you know the one. 

I put this in the tags on Ao3, but Henry will be a narrator for most of the events in this story, but this is at its core a Captain Swan story. There will be exactly one chapter with smut and I'll let you know where that is when it gets posted. 

If you know how Atonement ends and you're wondering if this is going to end differently for our lovers the answer is...well I'm not going to give you the answer in the first chapter now am I? You'll have to keep reading to find out. 

Special thanks to @kmomof4, @hollyethecurious, @teamhook and all of the CSMM discord group for keeping me motivated, and to @jarienn972 for being a wonderful beta!! 

@captainswanmoviemarathon let’s do this! 

[Read on Ao3]

--

It was the loud argument down the hall that woke Henry up. Over the past year, it’d been so quiet that he’d often slept in much to the chagrin of his parents. But today, loud and angry voices seemed to carry themselves down the hall. 

Peeking his head out into the hallway, he could see his father standing in front of his sister’s room.

“Emma, really,” Leopold Nolan, his father, huffed as he looked down at something in his hands.

In spite of himself, Henry couldn’t help but grin. If his father was yelling at his sister, it meant Henry’s older sister, Emma, was home to be yelled at. 

“A third? I spent all that money for you to go away and you earn yourself a third? You could’ve become a secretary and made it all so much easier on us.” 

So he must be looking at Emma’s marks. 

“I’m sorry, was Oxford supposed to be easy?” his sister, Emma, snapped. As Henry crept closer to his sister’s room, she was brushing her hair as she looked in the mirror. 

Henry only had two older siblings: his older sister and their eldest brother, David. Emma had been away at school for the past year and Henry had missed her fiercely. In the letters she wrote him, she’d made it more than clear that she hated school and would much prefer being at home with him.

“You try sitting in a classroom with a bunch of men--including the professor--who don’t think you deserve to be there and then you see if you can get higher than a third, Father.”

He had to put his hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing. Henry liked it better when Emma was home too. She was his closest friend, his confidant, and he had no secrets with her, despite being ten years her junior. When he was younger, she would make up games and scavenger hunts for him to do during the day. She had been the one to teach him to read and write, and he wrote stories about their adventures.

It was the thing that had turned him on to writing, and he wanted to make her proud by writing a book one day.

“And I’m sure you spent all your time studying, Emma,” her father said wryly. “You do nothing but laze about when you’re here, so I’m sure you brought that same attitude with you to Oxford.” 

“I have the degree, don’t I?” Emma responded cheekily, dabbing some blush on her cheeks. “You don’t need me to be smart. You just need me to be pretty. You’ve told me that plenty of times.”

“Well we thought sending you to university would land you a husband, but clearly you failed in that regard as well!” 

Emma turned to face him, her face twisted in anger, but then it relaxed upon seeing Henry. She opened her arms to him and he rushed forward into them eagerly.

“You’re back!” Henry cried happily, tightening his arms around her.

“Yes, Killian and I got back last night,” Emma hummed, holding him close to her.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” Henry demanded, pulling back a little.

“I tried, you wouldn’t stir,” Emma laughed, tapping his nose. Henry rolled his eyes and tried to wriggle away now. He was thirteen, and he was far too grown up for such things, even if he’d missed his sister terribly when she was away at university. 

“Where’s Killian?” Henry asked eagerly.

“With Liam, I’m sure,” Emma promised, smiling up at him. “You should congratulate him. He’s gotten a first.”

“I should hope so with all the money I’ve put into that boy,” Leopold grumbled.

“You should be more pleased. Now you can show him off as your biggest triumph and your biggest example of philanthropy,” Emma said icily to her father. Her green eyes flashed with something Henry didn’t quite understand, and he thought that maybe Emma was angry with Killian for how well he’d done. 

Their eldest brother, David, had gotten a first at Oxford and was a great success in the business world. Since then, their father had expected all of his children to be the same. Even though she never said it out loud or even would write it down, Henry knew that their father’s scornful words hurt Emma. He hugged her a little tighter, which earned a scoffing noise from their father. She was smart about other things that their father could never understand, and Henry hoped that she knew that. 

“You’re nearly a man, Henry. There’s no need for that.”

“He hasn’t seen me since my last holiday, you can give him a break,” Emma answered, her green eyes still blazing. 

Henry pulled back, biting his lip as he looked in between his father and his sister. 

Emma sighed, folding her hands in her lap. Keeping her tone light, she added, “Go on. Go find Killian. I’m sure you have a lot to tell him about school, and he practically lived in the library so he probably has a lot to tell you too!” 

“And tell Liam he’s to pick David and his friends up from the train at quarter past 11!” his father barked. “He can take the car and if there’s so much as a scratch on it, he won’t get paid for two weeks!” “Can I go with him?” Henry asked excitedly.

“Henry, there won’t be room, don’t be a nuisance,” their father scolded. “David’s bringing his fiancée and some friends.” Turning away, he muttered, “Maybe one of them will be actually invested in marrying Emma.”

It was only when Leopold was out of sight and sound that Emma’s rigid posture loosened and she buried her face in her hands for a moment. “I’m all right,” she mumbled when Henry hugged her again. “Just tired.” Still, she leaned her head against Henry’s for a moment. “It’s so good to see you, Henry. I missed you when I was at school, little brother.”

“I missed you too,” Henry mumbled, childishly cuddling into her for a moment. “And that’s younger brother to you.” 

She smiled for a moment at the familiarity of the exchange, before she grimaced again. Their father’s presence still hung heavy in the room even though he was long gone. “Was he all right?” Emma asked, her eyes flickering to the doorway where their father had just been standing. “While I was away?”

“He mostly left me alone, occasionally would come in and do his whole thing if I got a bad mark,” Henry said with a shrug. Emma looked up at him worriedly and he tried to soothe her, “It was fine really. The tutors are working on it, and I am improving. I can handle him yelling at me. Although when he threatened to burn my manuscript...that was the worst.”

“He did what?” Emma demanded, standing up abruptly and rushing to the door as if to follow their father. 

“He didn’t actually burn it!” Henry assured her quickly, running to her side. He neglected to tell his sister that their father had held the manuscript over the open flame and that the back cover was singed. “He said that fairy stories were going to rot my brain, and that he wouldn’t stand having a sissy for a son.” Emma’s jaw clenched and the fire in her eyes returned as she glowered down the hallway where their father had last been. 

Henry felt himself getting more and more upset as he watched her. He was supposed to be a man, yet he couldn’t even stand up to his father, and Emma seemed more than willing to fight his battles for him. He didn’t want that either! He looked down, trying to hide the tears prickling in his eyes.

“Henry,” Emma said gently, kneeling before her brother. She put her hand on his shoulder gently. “Father doesn’t understand that you have a wonderful gift in both your imagination and writing. We need more people like you in the world who create rather than destroy.” He sniffled and she gently rubbed his shoulder. “What made him give it back?”

“It’s a wedding present,” Henry sniffled. “For David and Mary Margaret. I wanted to have it finished before the wedding.”

Emma smiled tenderly. “And I’m sure they’ll love it,” she murmured encouragingly. “Maybe you could read an excerpt at dinner? Once Father sees it’s for David and David loves it, I’m sure he’ll leave well enough alone.” Henry’s body shuddered, even as Emma gently wiped his tears away with her thumb. 

“And what if he hates it and he takes it away and burns it?” Henry mumbled softly, taking in a few deep breaths to try and calm himself down. “I always get so nervous in front of Father and I feel like my tongue is stuffed in my mouth and--” 

He stopped as Emma placed something in his hand. “A mint?” he asked curiously, rolling the plastic wrap against his fingers. “What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Keep it in your pocket,” Emma told him, gently tapping his nose. “When you get nervous, start playing with the mint. Focus on the mint and nothing else, and then there won’t be any room for you to be nervous. It’s a trick that one of my tutors gave me at uni, and now I’m passing it on to you.” 

Henry beamed at her and she kissed his forehead. “Now, go off and see Killian,” Emma encouraged. “He really has missed you.” 

Henry wrapped his arms around his sister one more time. Emma cradled him close for a moment, kissing the top of his head. With a soft smile, she let him go and gently shooed him out of her room. 

The hustle and bustle of the house was a familiar melody to Henry, though everything seemed intensified, not only by the arrival of David and his friends, but--as Henry heard as he maneuvered through the halls--the quite unexpected arrival of his cousins, Ava, Nicholas and Jack were adding more chaos to the day, given Emma and Killian’s arrival the night before, and David’s arrival within the hour. 

“--well yes of course they’re getting a divorce. Shameful really.”

“I heard he was caught in flagrante with another man. She should’ve been a better wife and then they wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“Hush, don’t let Master Henry hear you!” “Oh please... He wouldn’t know what that means even if he had heard me.”

The conversation all but floated around his ears, even if he didn’t quite understand what exactly the servants were talking about as he tidied up the guest room. Not that it mattered much when his main purpose was finding Liam. 

Liam was head groundskeeper of the Nolan estate, and Killian’s older brother. And if Henry could find Liam, he’d easily find Killian. Their father had taken in Liam and Killian when the two were just boys.

Well, actually, it was really Emma who’d convinced her father to take in the two Jones Brothers. Killian had tried to steal Emma’s coat when she was walking home from school, but she had promptly knocked Killian flat on his back. And maybe broke his nose while she was at it. They’d only been eight at the time. 

She’d escorted him to the hospital and when it came up that Killian’s only guardian was Liam, who was thirteen at the time, Emma wouldn’t hear of the two brothers going back home. She all but insisted that they stay with the Nolans. Leopold had been absolutely furious with Emma at first, but both boys had proven themselves to be smart and hardworking, and Leopold relented. 

David and Liam were quite close given that they were the same age, though David and Liam were not nearly as close as Emma and Killian were. Liam had always strictly adhered to the social status between them. The Jones were never fully adopted by Leopold, there were certainly expectations of blood purity for the Nolans that needed to be upheld, or at least that’s what Henry’s father always said when he asked.

Still, the boys got to live at the Nolan house, and Leopold had covered both Killian and Liam’s university tuitions. Liam was simply biding his time as head groundskeeper until Leopold had room to take him on at the firm.   

Emma and Killian, on the other hand, had been inseparable ever since that fateful day. Things like chores and expectations had often kept them apart physically during their days, but the two were in sync and often not found to be too far from each other. If Killian was working in the garden, it was not unexpected to find Emma reading there. If Emma was riding her horse, Killian was working on the paddock fence.

It must be nice to have a best friend like that, Henry thought with a sigh. He’d often yearned for a secret Jones sibling his own age would pop up out of nowhere when he was younger. Liam and Killian treated him like their younger brother, which Henry supposed was enough, but he often felt lonely seeing David and Liam and Emma and Killian hang out together. There was simply no one his age at the home, and all young people hit a certain point in their lives where they do not want a child toddling around after them. 

Ava and Nicholas were his age, but they were bossy and decidedly not very much fun at all. They often bossed him around or bullied him when they came over and whenever he complained to his mother, she told him that they were just having a hard time. His father’s advice was to man up.

And so Killian had taught him a good left punch and a right hand uppercut which mostly left the matter lie, at least where Nicholas was concerned. As much as he wanted to, he could not uppercut his cousin Ava. 

The memory of boxing lessons with Killian had Henry in a good mood, though he was starting to wonder if Killian hadn’t even woken up yet. He’d turned the corner heading toward the servant’s kitchen, when he heard Liam’s voice.

“Killian, you promise nothing happened?” 

“Bloody hell, Liam. Of course nothing happened. I’m just tired. It was a long ride home.”

“You just don’t seem excited to be home, that’s all.” There was a pause, followed by a soft clink of a mug. “You’d tell me if something happened, wouldn’t you, little brother?” 

“Of course. And that’s younger brother to you, Liam.” Henry was sure that Killian was more than used to Liam’s fussing and motherhenning since Liam had never shirked in his duty as Killian’s guardian, even when they moved into the Nolan residence. 

“Smothering” was what Emma called it. 

Though there was an affectionate note to Killian’s voice that would’ve been in place of his usual exasperation. Killian hated being called the little brother in his youth, something Henry had copied out of admiration for Killian. 

Emma had once called it adorable and Henry did not speak to her for a whole day because he was not adorable, thank you very much. Though not talking to Emma for that day had been very painful for him because Emma was his favorite person in the house. 

Most of the time. 

Henry crept closer to the kitchen door to try and get a better listen to the brothers’ conversation, but Killian caught his eye and smirked into his cup of tea. “Lad, you know what pirates do to eavesdroppers, don’t you?” 

Henry rolled his eyes playfully and stepped into the kitchen. “I’m not a child anymore, Killian,” he replied. “You can’t threaten to throw me into the brig anymore. That doesn’t work.” Still, he was grinning from ear to ear. “Welcome home, Killian. I missed you.” 

“Aye, so it seems you’ve grown indeed, lad. I swear you’ve grown a foot since Christmas,” Killian chuckled, pushing some of his breakfast toward Henry. “Go on, you can finish that. Knowing you, you stayed up writing and missed breakfast.”

“Has the family taken breakfast yet?” Henry asked, almost immediately digging into the food. “I only woke up because Father was yelling at Emma about her marks.”

“We haven’t been home a full day yet and he’s already laying into her about her marks?” Killian asked, getting up halfway out of his chair. Liam cleared his throat pointedly and Killian slowly sat back down into the chair. 

“Well go on, you can’t announce the event and not give us any of the juicy details,” Liam goaded Henry, glancing at Killian briefly. “You know the best way to get ourselves extra sweets is to come into the kitchen with a little bit of gossip. We’ll split the bounty three ways,” he murmured conspiratorially.  

“Well it wasn’t anything new in terms of what he tells us when we don’t perform the way he wants us to. That we’re lazy or that we’re failures. I don’t know why you all would find that interesting, you’ve heard him say it to each of us at least once a day,” Henry replied nonchalantly, reaching for a napkin to clean up after himself. “Oh, except for that he only paid for her to get her degree so that she could go find a husband.” 

Killian’s hand tightened around the handle of his cup of tea and his jaw clenched, his eyes flashing for the briefest of moments. His eyes darted to the doro and they lingered there before he gave his head a quiet shake. Henry happily kept on eating, glad to be moving past it as Killian seemed to be thinking something over. 

The storm behind Killian’s eyes seemed to break as he turned to the young boy. “So tell me, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. What’s your latest work about?” he teased Henry, who only rolled his eyes goodnaturedly at the jibe. 

“You know, Killian, it would be a much better nickname if I actually wrote any mysteries,” Henry replied. 

“And if he hadn’t died within the last few years,” Liam replied, clearing the plates away.

“What? Too soon?” Killian joked. Seriously, he turned to Henry and added, “You know, Doyle hated the Sherlock Holmes works but they were his most popular ones. He wrote plenty of historical works as well.”

“Well, my work is not a mystery or historical,” Henry protested. “So your nickname still doesn’t work.”

“I swear, you must be taking arguing lessons from Emma,” Killian chuckled fondly into his tea. Henry thought that was a very odd thing for him to say, only to be distracted when Liam produced three berry crumbles for the three of them to share.