#i do think its so funny when people read maggie books for the first time and interpret the ambiguous stuff completely opposite to me

[sexcromancy]

revisited the wolves of Mercy falls series bc I watched a booktube video about it ... I love those books soooo much. my absolute favorite werewolf mechanic. really uses the metaphor of shifting well, for suicidality, addiction, losing yourself, identity and choice and self-determination, the freeing possibilities and dooms promised by all those things. it's a lot like how Maggie uses dreaming, but more focused/less sprawling. and I really like grace and sam, and of course Cole and Isabel my number one Maggie couple for ever and ever. and on this reread, prompted by some of the comments in the video, I really noticed how fraught and interesting the cross dynamics are, Isabel and Sam especially. they have that special weird friendship of proximity mutual respect the feeling was friendship but neither of them had ever experienced it before magic, same as ronan and hennessy. in the video she mistook it for a confusing crush but it's not, Maggie just writes those relationships so well and so intensely that it comes off close to that. and of course the rich insanity of the beck and Sam relationship. JOHN BEHAVIOR. I forgot that he came back one last time before dying. such a great scene. I really hope the TV show happens I think it could be so interesting. it could also be terrible. but if it is they wouldn't get far enough in to ruin Cole before it got canceled so it's probably be fine. yay

[cosmicjellies]

long and disorganised dark shadows update

once again spoilers for this 50 yo show//

first of all i am stupid and got the last episode for the dream curse storyline wrong. i think i wrote down 563 and it is actually 536? and it took me a minute to notice. decided to stop at 560 bc its a good number. the adam storyline is very long which i find daunting, so it's good that there is also that to break it up. i have been watching it fairly slowly but i will still take a medium-sized break before continuing.

i have been thinking about what the best way to watch this show in 2023 is, and how the ways we watch tv have changed over the years. i usually am kind of anti-bingeing but i feel like this weirdly benefits from it? for me at least. maybe because it was daily and not weekly. that said its funny how repetitive it is. was thinking about this especially this time around- they reaallly dragged out that dream and that tape by dr lang, i feel like they repeated each of them about 100 times i could probably recite them. luckily i like repetition but i imagine it would drive some other people (esp modern day viewers who might be bingeing this) crazy.

anyway some scattered thoughts under the break-

i love cursed paintings/art-based horror so i liked that there was a bit of that, but maybe they could have spent more time with it. was very happy to see my good friend rev trask come back as a ghost like i specifically said i wanted him to last time. please come back again! angelique magically forcing tony to be in love with her was very fucked up! again i wish we had spent more time exploring how fucked up it was. elizabeth turning into naomi was obviously great i esp loved when it got kind of incestuous with her mistaking roger for joshua- there was already an uncomfortable subtext there esp after the casting choices for 1795 it makes perfect sense to bring that out. i am not super into nicholas as a character yet- he seems mostly instrumental, to make angelique go from villain to victim, which admittedly is fun.

excited for vampire angelique and it does make sense to go there. excited for non-barnabas vampires in general. speaking of, how do vampires work, actually? barnabas is suddenly worried about the guy she attacked turning into a vampire- but has this been a problem before? barnabas has attacked many people, who just died unceremoniously. when he was feeding off maggie it did seem like she was turning, but then it stopped. and obviously biting people does have an effect on them, but so far it's been used to enslave them/make them familiars, not fully turn them (something i really liked in previous storylines). either an inconsistency or something that needs to be elaborated on.

i dont have any full thoughts on the adam storyline as a frankenstein adaptation, since it hasnt finished yet. obv the way it was tied into curing vampirism was extremely silly and nonsensical but thats great i love that. didnt really care for sam going blind but it was fun when i made the connection to the book, in which frankenstein's creature befriends a blind man. leonardo dicaprio pointing meme. found myself thinking a lot of about adam's language development, and the ways in which it is probably not realistic, and wouldn't it be cool if someone did tell a similar story but had read up on language acquisition and made an effort to model the different stages etc etc. but i realise this is actually not something anyone cares about at all.

obv adams crush on carolyn is extremely uncomfortable, and it has now gotten to the point in frankenstein where the creature kind of turns into an incel. rip. was going insane whenever matthew talked to adam about women- first carolyn and then vicky. all that stuff about "imagine if someone took away caroline wouldnt you feel bad, think about how kidnapping women makes men who love them feel :/" when you could perhaps just explain to him that vicky and carolyn are people and what about how they themselves feel. blah blah this is from the 60s.

anyway stay tuned after my break for more disorganised thoughts! i will be finishing the adam storyline next

[glapplebloom]

The final series to look at this year, a revisit of the Simpsons. 

I honestly don’t remember the last new Simpsons episode I’ve seen (I just remembered, it was the Bill Cipher one). I’ve seen clips but never anything new fully. And with another Simpsons Death Note parody, I figure why not give them a new chance with one of their usually unique episodes. This is their 33rd Treehouse of Horror and funny enough, actually closely released next to Halloween. So how well did this episode do?

The first short is The Pookadook, which is a parody of The Babadook. So if you know how that story goes, you know how this one does. One thing I would like to note is Marge’s voice. I heard people complain it's not as good as it was and in a way I kind of get it. But to be fair, she’s still voice acting the same character for years but this episode really highlights it. Now while this follows the same beats as the Babadook, it has its differences.

For starters, Pooka is taking on just Maggie. So to prevent the rest of the family from interfering, she’s letting them sleep with the fishes. Literally. They’re having a sleepover at an aquarium. Secondly, Maggie is much more skilled than the kid in Babadook. She manages to escape and even captures the possessed Marge. While trying to find a way to break Marge, we also see Marge get possessed since she resents not having fun when everyone else is.

But Maggie eventually finds a way to break Marge from Pookadook and the two of them sucked up his essence in a vacuum cleaner. As a parody of the Babadook I found it pretty fun. The only distraction I have is Marge’s voice but when you’re using the same actress for years you have to expect something like this. I probably wouldn’t have noticed if I kept watching.

The second is Death Tome, which is a parody of Death Note. But unlike the other one, this is not their first time parodying this. The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror #14 from Bongo Comics has a parody of Death Note. In that issue, Bart was the founder of the book and Krusty was the Shinigami. Bart was reluctant though and all the deaths were reversed by the Life Book. In this parody, Lisa is our Light fill in and Moe’s voice actor is the Shinigami.

This one is more of a direct parody as Lisa follows the beats of Light. She finds the book, doesn’t think it's real, kills a criminal as a test and thinks highly of herself because she can change the world for this. But there are differences. For starters, unlike the Death Note, the Death Tome works only if you kill them in a different way. And like the comic adaptation, whatever you do write down it can happen even if it's impossible.

When L is on her trail, Lisa is all about killing him. In a funny nod, they point out how this is considered good and Lisa brushing it off like how Light continues to justify his actions when he’s killing more people than the worst of them. But Lisa figured out who L is. Because it's not L, it's El… As in El Barto! He read her diary and she was ready to kill him. But realizing she’s almost killed her brother has her kill the Shinigami instead. It makes her into a shinigami instead. A pretty excellent short animated by the same people who did the Death Note Anime.

And finally it’s Simpsons World, a Westworld Parody. In Simpsons World, animatronics of our Simpsons crew relive multiple moments of their lives, including the Monorail episode reanimated using the original audio. And I can tell it's the original audio because you can notice how different it is when old Homer stops and new Homer begins. But because of drunks, he malfunctions and through shenanigans became self-aware.

He went to save his family, with Lisa being the first he goes to since she’s the smartest person he knows,  and the hottest Marge which looks to be a classic design. They try to escape but when more fans try to make Homer do the Bush Meme, Bart turns off the “no kill” rule and Homer makes them do it, killing them. They then had to fight an army of Ralphs using various references to old episodes.

The family escapes thanks to a call back to Canyonero and arrives at Bob’s Burgers. They meet Linda Belcher and we end the episode with the reveal they escaped Simpsons World to be in Bob’s Burgers World instead. Overall, a fun episode and likely made for people seeing this episode for the Death Tome and haven’t seen a Simpsons episode since the old days. Overall, I think they did a great job with this short and overall. It really goes to show you that as long as they have been going, they’re still some magic in the series.

[fagcrisis]

SPOILERS

so, as you all know i went into this with haterism in my heart. i dont trust neil gaiman to make a good series of television (and he didnt!) and i especially dont trust him to write good gay rep because ive read. literally everything hes ever written i know what hes like

i did however first read good omens the book the myth the legend at the tender age of 11 and im not ashamed to say watching this season made me legitimately insane. its very hard to formulate critical thoughts about this show when i just saw one of my favorite characters in literature ever gay kiss. BUT IM GOING TO TRY

first of all the plot is kind of nonsensical. the intrigue of what mightve happened to gabriel is interesting, but i do not feel like the eventual reveal of his relationship with beelzebub was set up in any manner. the only reason i spotted that beelzebub seemed weirdly fixated on finding him was because i saw spoilers about this plotline first and knew to expect it. i feel like because this obviously was not at all present in season one, aziraphale's investigation should have revealed a lot more about their relationship because as it stands, the main reason he went to edinburgh was to say the word grindr and have a flashback

the pressure and the villains this season didnt really feel, well real. the angels are bumbling idiots and while shax is initinally presented as somewhat competent, the demons also turn out to be kind of bumbling idiots. there is not really any danger presented to our protagonists, and the pressure to get maggie and nina together is also not really something that plays a role (due to muriel being a bumbling idiot), although that plotline i didnt actually hate but more on that later.

i still dont understand why the angels didnt recognize metatron when he was there at gabriels trial and he is like, as far as i can tell their boss. him being the sort of final villain/main villain of s3 possibly didnt feel like a reveal but thats bc ive seen supernatural and read his dark materials. its not a bad twist and i do feel like any urban fantasy involving christianity is inevitabely gonna end up at metatron being the final boss bc how are you gonna involve god and make him evil. supernatural nonwhitstanding they were smoking crack at that point. anyway i dont neccesarily hate him showing up but it was in somewhat of a weird manner.

ALSO people jumped to the conclusion that he wrote this season so quickly guys this is NOT supernatural u cant explain bad writing away diagetically

despite the bad writing me and @totopopopo had a great time and thats partially due to mental illness but its also due to the fact that tennant and sheen are, incredible. they absolutely carried this show, it was kind of an experiment in how much bad writing can these amazing actors make you forget about. they looked like they were having fun the whole time and they made me have fun too. despite my issues with the story i cant say i didnt have a ball on this bitch because watching michael sheen prance around and queen out while david tennant reprises his famous role in the ministry of silly walks and stares at aziraphale like he wants to eat him was basically everything ive ever needed in this show. i would watch these two say anything and id enjoy it

now onto their relationship and also maggie and nina, because i haven't slept well and have not been able to decide how i feel about this. i feel like their relationship was done well but thats like 80% due to the actors being good and only like 15% due to the script, the rest is all in my head. i did really enjoy the both of them getting deeply invested in these womens' lives for the sake of sort of vicariously living out their own desires, even if it felt a little bit rushed and also the talk they gave to crowley at the end was really funny and cute but it was also like, twitterspeak which annoyed me

overall i dont think i can be an objective judge of how it went because my head is literally just ineffable husbands gay moments compilation on loop atm. i liked it and i dont think it was like, offensive in any manner but i also do think its mostly on the actors understanding their characters very well

the final verdict is that if you dont care deeply about this story then its not really a must watch, it felt like a rushed season that needed a lot more episodes and time to breathe, as well as some fucking script revisions. however it is kind of fun and if your standards are not very high and you want to see david tennant sit on chairs in entirely new ways i recommend watching it with friends. if you do care deeply about this story however you will become insane

ps.: hes totally raphael

i woke up im normal now im going to try and gather my thoughts about gomens 2 coherently

[rrickgrrimes8]

hi! i was thinking if you could write an imagine of reader being rick and lori's daughter and sister to carl, rj and judith. i don't have a specific idea in mind, but just her before and after the time jump, struggling with being there when lori and carl died, and looking for rick with daryl, her relationship with her siblings and michonne, maybe maggie and hershel too (i was thinking since carl was 10 when it all started, she was 7 so now she's 17) thank you so much, and btw i loved your imagines i've read so far 💞

Being a Grimes ~ Rick Grimes x Grimes!reader

thank you so much for requesting i really enjoyed making this one. i also have a series kinda like this about Jacey Grimes which i’m currently making a book two for.

warnings: alluding to sexual assault or rape, suicide, death, gore (lemme know if i’ve missed anything off here)

sorry if there is any mistakes please tell if there is and give me feedback i’d love to here back from yall

masterlist

request guidelines

request are open

It was strange for y/n. This world would be strange for anyone really. But she was different. At only a mere 7 years old when the world went to shit she struggled as did many others. With the recent loss of her father - one she didn't entirely understand - still protruding through her heart, it was hard - so hard. 

When it happened she was at daycare. The teaching assistant tried and successfully ate the teacher in front of her. She was next and was so close to being eaten until Shane rushed in. He kicked Ms Twune and grabbed y/n. Her mom sobbed at the sight of her, covered in blood and the tears smothering her daughters face. Carl was shocked too. He wanted nothing more than to protect his little sister. His dad always used to tell him that that was his duty - his job. And he hated how he had failed in this moment. 

They made it to the quarry soon after. Y/n thought the group was nice - well mostly. The Dixon brothers scared her was what she told her brother or any of the children she had befriended. But she was lying. Yes, she was scared but only of Merle. He was creepy and mean to anyone he saw. Daryl was somewhat the same but he always found himself being nicer to the young child. And often kept her company when Lori and Shane went for a ‘walk’ in the woods. Glenn was another she found herself drawn to. He unlike Daryl happily invited her company. Glenn was sweet and funny. He never failed at making her laugh till she felt like she was going to pee. They were good friends which came to a fault when he had to go on runs. She’d scream and cry and refuse to let go of him because she was afraid that what happened to her father would happen to him. 

That’s what happened earlier that morning. Glenn and a few others were going into Atlanta, despite her dismay. Glenn assured her he’d be fine, which she didn't believe and continued her tantrum. 

“Can yer’ shut that damn baby up?” Merle spat covering his ears. 

Shane shot him a threatening glare while Glenn stayed preoccupied with the distraught girl. “Hey, it's okay. I’m coming back,” He insisted holding her tightly at his hip, “I promise you, sweet girl.” 

“No, b-b-but dada promise too a-a-and h-he,” She stopped herself, sobs erupting from her small body. 

“I know sweet girl, I know. But I’ll be back I know I will.” Glenn placed her on the back of the RV, “I tell you what I’ll bring you back some of your favourite sweeties, huh? Would you like that?” 

Giddily she nodded at his proposition, “Yes! Yes!” 

“Alright, then I’ll bring back some for you, okay?” She nodded smiling cheerfully, “I love you, kid.” 

“I luv you too, dumbass,” y/n giggled. 

Glenn looked around cautiously hoping no one heard that “Hey sweet girl you can't say that.” 

“W-what? Why?” the child began to cry again, “Y-y-you say it.” 

“I know b-but its adult words okay? Not y/n words. When you're older, alright?” She nodded her head again kissing his cheeks softly and hugging him. “Thank you, sweet girl. I’ll see you soon,” He kissed the top of her head and started towards the car smiling as she shouted, “With sweeties!”

The group returned hours later bearing a new man instead of Merle. Y/n waited patiently for Glenn and the aforementioned sweets. "Gen!" She screamed happily still unable to say his name fully. The man sprinted over to her, pulling her into a much-needed cuddle after the day he had. 

"It's Glenn, sweetheart," He chuckled while correcting. 

"Oh sorry Gen," She wrapped her dainty arms around his neck. 

"That's okay, sweet girl. I missed you." 

"I missed you too," She whispered before letting out a longwinded 'ew', "You stinky, Gen." 

The man smelt his shirt and nodded as the potent smell of walkers reached his nose. "I know yucky right?" 

"Yucky!" Y/n buried her face in Glenn's shirt ignoring the stench and just enjoying his company. She always became clingy like this after coming home from a run. He loved it. On runs, if he ever encountered a life-threatening situation - like the one today - he always finds himself realising how much she means to him. Glenn saw her as a little sister - one almost replacing the ones that were cruely ripped from him when this began. 

"How was it?" She inquired. 

"Not fun, sweet girl. But I got your sweeties and a nice man helped us out. Saved us," She beamed. 

"I like the good man. I'll give him two kisses when I see him. Maybe even one of my sweeties," Glenn chuckled. 

"Why two kisses, y/n?" 

"One for saving you. Two for bringing you hom," Glenn grinned contently and kissed her forehead. 

"Its home bubs with an e on the end." 

"Oh," She mumbled burying herself again. 

"Oh my God," Someone muttered as they exited the van. 

"Dad! Dad!" Carl screamed causing Glenn to snap his head in their direction. Carl came running towards the man, Rick, who had saved them in Atlanta. Y/n hadn't moved yet as she feared it was only a dream. That her dada wasn't really here. 

"Sweet girl," He pulled her out of his neck, "Look it's your dad." The child gazed over to where her brother had run to. Sure enough, it was her dad. He held Carl as he cried, looking to Y/n wanting to hold her too. 

"Dada!" She screamed jumping out of Glenn's arms dangerously. The girl scraped her knee on the way down but continued throwing herself into the hug. 

"Oh, Carl! Y/n!" She kissed all over his face childishly, "I luv you, dada." 

"I love you too, baby girl."

~

The years hadn't been kind to Y/n. She lost so much. Too much in fact that it had driven her to the depts of insanity and made her do things to herself, to others that she more than resented. The first loss was her mothers. She wasn't there like Carl was but the grief burned through her still. Y/n was too young to understand it really. Just how she was when Rick supposedly died. Y/n couldn't understand where her mom had gone she just knew she had a little sister now. One she swore to protect. 

She thought she had failed that when the prison fell. The young child was on her own. Injured and lost. She wandered through the woods for days until she stumbled across a group. The group were mean and despite her resistance wouldn't let her go. They hurt her in ways she didn't and wouldn't speak of it even now. But that all changed when Daryl showed up. He protected her - stopped them from hurting her. And eventually led her back to her family. Where for the first time she began to fear her father. 

Terminus was next. The people there snatched her from her family. She was forced to watch from afar as they were guided into the crate. Rick fought against them, Carl too but it was to no use. They had sectioned her off in a playroom. Every once in a while an older woman came in to fed and played with her. She hated it. Being in this world for more than a year now she knew that people like them didn't just want to play even if she did. She learnt that from the Claimers. 

Carol found her. Although having never have been all that close to the older woman - the only relation being the closeness between y/n and Sophia - seeing her after so long made her cry out of joy. Carol was happy too as she rushed out of that place to take her to safety. The pair ended up in the woods. Carol had stopped a moment ago to clean the dirt from her face, "lemme help." 

The girl sat up from where she was put down and cupped some water splashing it on Carol's face. Carol flinched as the water hit her, "Uh thank you." 

"Welcome," She looked away getting distracted by the nearing sound of footsteps. 

"Get behind me, y/n," Carol ordered to which she shook her head. 

"No it dada," She ran away from the woman and towards the group. 

"Y/n come back here!" Y/n continued ignoring Carols pleas and crashed herself into the back of Rick's legs. 

The father shot around and began to cry as he saw the child he thought he lost at his feet. "Oh, baby!" He collected the girl in his arms. Carl rushed to them too happy to see her alive after Gareth claimed he killed her. "Oh y/n, never leave me again, okay?" He looked directly into her matching blue eyes, "Promise me." 

"I promise, dada." 

Later Carol led them to Judith. Y/n was over the moon and refused to let her out of her sight, which was exactly what Rick was doing too. They found the church a while after. There they had some semblance of peace. She was glad to have Glenn back - Maggie too. Along with the new people although Eugene was a bit weird. 

At the church was also when the questions started. Daryl had told Rick about the group they were with and regretfully had to inform the father how she was there before him. Rick asked y/n - begged her - to tell her what happened. But she refused. She couldn't say what happened. What they did, which just made Rick fear more. Eventually, she spoke a little about it. She was vague and could barely string two words together without crying. He hated it. He hated how this was a reality for his daughter. He saw the bruises they left. And he couldn't understand how someone could touch his child. Or how he could be so powerless to stop it. 

Bob died. She didn't really know the man but it still upset her. Beth too. Although she was a lot closer to her. Beth was one of her only friends and was someone who would look after her when her father couldn't. They bonded and now she was gone. 

After Beth's demise, they spent lots of time on the road. They suffered, almost died countless times but they prevailed. They got stronger - she got stronger. And they eventually found Alexandria. There everything was good again like how it was at the prison or even before this hell. She liked it there and didn't understand why the others were so sceptical. 

Though that didn't last for long. Y/n began to hate the place when Carl got shot. Alexandria almost stole her brother from her. So she despised it. She refused to leave her brother's side as he adjusted to his injury. Yes, he found it annoying how she wouldn't leave him be and he often snapped at her. But she was there when he needed her. Despite the age difference and the many years of memories they had lost to this fight, she understood his pain. When he saw himself as ugly, a monster even, she made him think otherwise. She kept him afloat, which he was eternally thankful for. 

Glenn was next. 

She didn't believe it even after she was forced to see it with her own two eyes. She was next to Glenn in the lineup. She had to watch up close. Y/n had to be mocked by that man. She had to stay the whole night with her best friends brains on her face. After that night she blamed herself. She told herself that if Negan was just one person off she would be dead and he would live. He would get to see his child born and grow old with Maggie like they had spoken about. She wholeheartedly believed he deserved to live over her. 

The war with Negan shook her to the core. At the time his face filled her nightmares. He just looked so normal. He looked nice even. Yet he hurt and he hurt and he hurt. 

He killed her Glenn. And then Carl. It wasn't Negans fault although she did blame him. Carl had gotten bit. Y/n held his hand as he died in that tunnel as the home they had built above them fell. She got a letter too - even though she would rather have preferred to have her brother back. In the letter, Carl told her how proud he was of her - how thankful he was to have her as a sister. He told her to protect Judith, their dad and Michonne, who she had recently begun to call momma. 

After Carl's death, y/n shut herself from the world well everyone except her father. For days she would cry until she couldn't anymore. She would scream and scream until her voice was gone. She just didn't understand why it had to be Carl? Why mom? Why Glenn? Why Beth? Why was it never her? The following weeks she found herself wishing it would be her next. She could never bring herself to say it out loud but with any battle, any fight, anything, she wished it would be her. 

So when she lost her father her whole world fell apart. He was her consistent so why did he leave her? She was at the bridge that day. Daryl held her crying frame as Rick set off that final shot blowing him and the walkers off the bridge. Y/n Grimes' father was dead. 

She stayed in Alexandria for a while afterwards. For the sole reason to protect her siblings. Yes, siblings - plural. Somehow through all the bad some good came from it. She just wished her father and Carl could've seen it. RJ Grimes came into this world 9 months later. And he was perfect. For months she would assist in taking care of him as Michonne wasn't doing the greatest without the love of her life. Truth be told neither was y/n she was just better at hiding it. 

Until one night it all became too much. Y/n didn't know how it happened but she found herself balancing on the edge of her window. She wanted to jump - to end it. But she just couldn't will herself to do it. And when Daryl showed up she knew she couldn't. "Hey step away from ta window, alrigh'," The man ordered as he saw her shaking frame rocking back and forth. 

"I-i can't," She sobbed. 

"Ye' ya can. Jus' step back I'll catch ya," Daryl moved closer but paused when she shouted to stop. 

"I can't, Daryl. They're all gone. They're all dead," The tears clouded her eyes. She shut them tightly picturing her families faces wanting so badly to join them. 

"Please jus' step back, y/n. Yer' not alone. I'm here," He croaked the tears floating down his cheeks, "Don't jump." 

"I love you, Daryl." 

"I love ya too, okay? So step away from the window," He watched as she turned her head slightly catching his eyes. 

"I love you but I can't. Tell mom, RJ and Judy I love them as well." 

Suddenly she went to fall forward but Daryl reacted quicker. He gripped her waist pulling her into the room unwilling to release his grasp. "Yer' not leaving me," He told her as she cried into his shoulder, "Yer' cant leave me." Overhearing the chaos, Michonne entered her daughter's room to see the window wide open and the two of them crying. Daryl looked at her. The look telling her all she needed to know. Michonne began to cry herself and joined them on the ground. 

"Y/n?" A small voice called from the door frame. 

"Judith go back to bed, okay?" Michonne told her but Judith continued towards her sister. The girl said nothing as she wiped her sister's tears and held her hand.

It was 5 years later now. After her attempt, she left Alexandria with Daryl in search of her father. She didn't believe he was alive despite everything inside her wanting to. But Daryl did and after what happened they became a lot closer. He was happy she joined him. Even though the act of being out there was gruelling at times he was glad he could look after her. And if something would've happened to her while he was gone he could never have forgiven himself. Understandably Michonne was angry that y/n decided to leave. Y/n was her daughter and Michone her mother. They needed each other but she was willing to let Y/n leave to figure that out. It brought her peace looking for her father. 

The silence was her favourite and as Daryl wasn't much of a talker she got lots of it. They got a dog too, which Daryl cleverly named Dog. Everything was a messed up version of okay but it was still good. Being out there made her find her purpose. She went home a lot more than Daryl did, which pleased her siblings and mother. It was always for a few days never longer as she feared she'd stay forever and she couldn't. As much as Alexandria is good it also drives y/n to a dark place. One she was in that night. She lost so much there. And staring at those four walls drove her insane. It didn't help how Negan was imprisoned there. Just thinking how close he was made her skin crawl. She knew how Rick visited him when he was alive that he believed Carl was right about the killing. That it had to stop. Y/n knew he was right too but she could never bring herself to one admit or two face Negan. 

It felt like a story she read as a child when the Whisperers showed up. Like Negan, they scared her. So when she was told about his escape she only assumed the worst. The Whisperers took so many from them. Like Enid for example. Her story was cut short because of them. The two never really spoke but she understood how she and Carl felt for each other at a time. So ultimately it felt like she lost her final piece of Carl when she died. Y/n wished she had spoken to her when she could've. She wished she could've heard the untold stories they shared. She needed to know about Carl's final years with her. But now she's gone too along with those memories. 

The war with the Whisperers took everything from them. The Kingdom. Hilltop. Alexandria. Along with the lives they lost in the process. With the group separated she found herself protecting Judy and RJ. Michonne had gone. Where she had gone to, y/n had no idea. For a messed up reason, she began to prepare herself for her mother's death before it was even announced. That was until she got the call. She was okay and... apparently so was Rick. 

Disbelief was what hit her first. She couldn't hear his voice nor see his face so how could she know it was true. Michonne didn't know either she couldn't if he was really there, still alive. That night of the call she left. Without hesitation, she kissed RJ and Judith's heads, told them she loved them and told them to tell everyone else that and left. She left in the direction Michonne had told her. 

She left to find her father. And she knew she wouldn't return until she did. "I'm coming, dad."

[pandaponderart]

Underrated Anime Part 1:

Hello my fellow Weebs, I’m back for some more Anime blogging, this time to talk about so not so well known ones. Some that have got forgotten with time, some that new Anime fans have maybe never heard of and the ones that I feel deserve more love and recognition. I’ve been watching Anime for about 13 years so I’ve seen a lot so this will be in at least 3 parts, so hopefully you like this and look forward to more. Til then enjoy, hope you can find some new anime you’ve never heard of thanks for reading and look forward to part 2!.

1. Azumanga Daioh(2002)

Starting off with an older Anime, and one of the best and earlier comedy, slice of life Anime that paved the way for a lot of other Anime in the same genre like Nichijou and Daily Lives of High School Boys. Off the wall and highly unrealistic, this comedy is completely over the top in the best way possible. it’s old but gold and should be crowned as one of the best comedy Anime to exist.

With the most lovable cast, you have Chiyo the 5th grader who is so crazy smart she gets placed in a high school class, then there’s Osaka, who’a real name is Ayumu Kasuga who’s named that because she‘s from Osaka. Osaka isn’t the smartest and neither is her other classmate Tomo Takino who will do anything to avoid studying. Then to balance out the cast is Koyomi Mizuhara aka Yomi, the smart one who keeps everyone in line and Kagura the sporty one. Then of course can’t forget to mention the teachers Yukari Sensei who is anything but the normal responsible teacher and to balance her out Minamo Sensei the responsible one. There’s no real plot with Azumanga Daioh but there’s not meant to be it’s just an over the top comedy slice of life, with moments that will make you laugh from your gut. It’s all about the characters and the ridiculous situations their put in and each one is a lovable idiot that really drives the show. Give this one a shot if you want a show that will put a big smile on your face the whole way through.

2. Eden of The East (2009)

Another older Anime, not everything on this list will be older Anime but there’s so many good ones like this!. Eden of The East is an action, mystery with elements of romance with one of the most unique stories I’ve seen in Anime. It’s a short watch being only eleven episodes with two movies following after which I recommend watching because they continue the story. I’m really surprised not more people know or talk about this show but it need to be talked about more!.

With one of the funniest and most bizarre starts to an Anime, our lead charcter Saki is on a trip to Washington D.C, when she gets in trouble for throwing a coin in the White House’s fountain she’s saved by a naked man who claims to be a terrorist. Not only is this mysterious man naked and claims to be a terrorist, he also has amnesia and is carrying a phone with 8.2 million dollars. Saki befriends this strange man and throughout the story they try to uncover more of his past, his involvment in an incident called careless monday and a dangerous death game with other players. They must also spend all of the money as instucted by the mysterious voice in the phone Juiz as well as try to save the world.

3. R.O.D The TV( 2003)

Ok I know I said this list wouldn’t only be older Anime but I guess the older Anime just has my heart and this one has a special place in mine. One of my all time favorites and one of the earliest Anime I saw and it still holds up to me til this day. It is hands down probably the most underrated show on this entire list and if you only watch one of these Anime please make it this one. The story is completely original, the characters are complex and endearing, there’s action, heartwarming moments, comedy and mystery, I wish there was more Anime like it, it deserves to be a classic.

It‘s a one of a kind show about the paper sisters Michelle, the oldest bubbly bookworm, Maggie the seemingly intimidating quiet giant. Then you have the youngest sister Anita who unlike her sisters hates books, she’s a bit rough around the edges but loves her sisters. Although they aren’t actually sisters they have a detective agency to help find lost books to help pay for rent while also doing odd jobs like being body guards. Their first assignment is to protect the author, Nenene Sumiragawa who is being threatened to be killed at her book signing. The paper sisters aren’t called that just because of their love of books, they can turn paper into weapons and whatever else they please, but each having their speciality. Nenene finds out they‘re paper sisters just like her friend who ‘s missing, Yomiko Readman and asks them for help finding her. They try to help Nenene find her friend, while solving other cases and saving the world with the power of paper.

4. Baccano(2007)

Probably the most well known but also I think one of the most under appreciated Anime, from Durarara’s creator, Baccano. I feel like most newer Anime fans won’t know this one and although it’s a beloved series by many, I still feel it’s underrated. Also another bias opinion shocker, it’s one of my absolute favorites but that’s why it’s here. It’s once again a shorter anime with only 13 episodes but it somehow manages to combine all of the storylines cohesively, it’s a wild ride full of mystery, murder, and magic that will keep you on board the entire time trying to piece everything together. Also warning it jumps around a lot so make sure to pay attention everything pieces together!.

Based in the 1930’s in the prohibition era you have several stories involving different characters going on but they‘re all connected to one thing the transcontinental train, the flying pussyfoot. Yes that’s actually the name of the train, why, still no idea but all these characters from different walks of life end up here somehow. Now to introduce some of these crazy characters, first off the goofy thieves in love Isaac and Miria, who aren’t the brightest but can steal just about anything. Lad Russo the sadistic hit man who loves to see people die, including fantasizing about killing his fiancé one day. Then you have the ones involved in gangs, all In different ones, but nonetheless involved in some sort of crime. First there’s Firo, the youngest of the Martello family and one of the immortals in the show, then there’s Jacuzzi Splot and his partner Nice, Jacuzzi is a big wimp and crybaby but will protect his loved ones with all he’s got and Nice is a bomb expert and his childhood food. Those are some of the main characters it’s such a large cast it’s hard to name and explain them all. This one is a must watch especially if you liked Durarara, jump on the hype train of this wild show.

5. Black Cat (2005)

Now quick disclaimer before I begin talking about this one, I haven’t watched this in years so it may not hold up as well as I’m remembering but when I watched it I really enjoyed it so that’s why it’s here. This was one of the earlier Anime I watched I’m pretty sure my friend showed me it but it caught my interest from the beginning. It’s not the most groundbreaking show to exist and I’ve heard that the manga is apparently better but that’s for almost every show. It’s got cool action, funny moments and a great cast of characters, plus not gonna lie I had a crush on train when I was younger. its just a fun show and definitely worth giving a watch!

Train Heartnett is an infamous cold blooded assassin who works for the organization Chronos, and because of his lack of empathy for killing he’s named Black Cat. But after a chance encounter with a bou hunter named Saya Minatsuki, they become friends and Train decided he wants to leave Chronos to pursue an honest living as a bounty Hunter. However chronos and particular his fellow member Creed Diskenth are not pleased with this and try to get Train to rejoin Chronos. Along the way Train teams up with fellow bounty hunter on the brink of broke Sven, the bio mech weapon and little girl Eve and master thief and seductress Rinslet Walker. Together they try to escape from Chronos and get enough money for their next .

6. Arakawa Under The Bridge(2010)

Where do I begin with this one first off, this is one of the weirdest Anime I’ve ever seen but just like Azumanga Daioh that’s what make it so good. Beautifully animated by Studio Shaft with some of the most colorful and visually appealing animation I’ve seen, it’s pure eye candy. it’s equally as strange as it is hilarious and it’s just a fun time that’s not meant to be taken seriously. So if you want a good laugh and something thats truly one of a kind in story and characters give this crazy show a shot.

The show begins with one of our main characters Kou Ichinomiya getting stuck by his underwear on a bridge by some kids, he falls into the river and is saved by a mysterious girl. Kou is the son of a wealthy businessman and his life motto is to not be indebted to anyone, so when he’s saved by this girl he asks what he can do. He finds out that her name is Nino and what she wants is to fall in love, so she asks Kou to be her boyfriend. At first Nino seems like a regular girl but she claims to be an alien from Venus and lives in a box under the bridge, not wanting to be in debt Kou agrees and begins living under the bridge with Nino. However Nino isn’t the only one who lives under the bridge there are many other strange characters like hoshi, the aspiring musician who wears a star on his head, and the captain who’s a human in a kappa suit. I highly suggest watching this strange sci-fi romantic comedy for something different and fun to watch.

7. 91 Days (2016)

The newest Anime on this list so far, see I told you it wouldn’t be only old ones!, this is also the darkest Anime on this list so far. This has been highly overlooked since it’s release in 2016, it reminds me of baccano and in parts like death note. If you like mafia movies or just a dark gritty story with some light hearted moments, it s short show but nothing is rushed and it’s solid from front to back and keeps you on the edge of your seat.

Just like Baccano, 91 Days takes place in the prohibition era in a town called Lawless where crime is rampant and illegal alcohol sales are thriving. In this town our protagonist Aviicio‘s family is killed by one of the mafia families, The Vanetti Family. He receives a mysterious anonymous letter telling him to return to lawless to infiltrate The Vanetti Family. He tries to befriend the families son Nero, to find an opportunity for revenge, the story keep you constantly guessing if they’ve truly become friends or if he’ll kill him. Please watch this wonderful mafia crime drama of friend vs foe.

8. Yamada Kun and The Seven Witches (2015)

This is one of the ones that I still really want to read the manga for because I just couldn’t get enough of it! i’m still hoping for a sequel one day! The premise of body swapping has been done many times in Anime and cinema as a whole but this one adds a unique enough of a twist to keep it fresh and interesting. I looked forward to watching this weekly each week meeting a learning about each new witch and learning what power they had.

Ryuu Yamada is a high school delinquent who wants a fresh start at a new school, despite the intention to start with a clean slate he soon falls into old habits of laziness and getting into fights. One day he trips on the stairs which leads to an accidental kiss with fellow student Urarara Shiraishi which causes them to switch bodies. Another student Toranosuke Miyamura learns that they can switch bodies and recruits them to his Supernatural Studies club. There they learn about the other seven witches that all have different powers

9. Arslan Senki (2015-2016)

The second to last of the list comes from the creator of my all time favorite Anime Fullmetal Alchemist, while it’s a very different series and not quite as good as FMA it’s still deserves a spot on this list and deserves your time. It’s hard not to compare it to FMA but it really is it’s own thing, and it actually came out before Fullmetal, it’s a historical drama about war and strategy and a character growing into his potential. Just as Hiromu Arakawa is known for there’s still some comedic moments and some great character development and a well done story, Plus if you like this there’s two seasons so there more to enjoy.

Ok I promise from this point forward I won‘t say anything more about Fullmetal Alchemist this is about Arslan Senki, here’s the story. In the year 320 the Kingdom of Pars is at war with the neighboring kingdom Lusitania. Pars is ruled by the ruthless king Andrangoras III who has a son who’s the complete opposite of him Arslan. Although he doesn’t know how to fight Arslan tries to prove his worth by joining the battle, but things take a turn for the worst when one of the kings officials betrays him. The once prosperous Kingdom of Pars is seized, and since Arslan is the kings son he must flee to avoid capture. So he sets off with his loyal bodyguard Daryun to find allies to help take back the kingdom. Knowing that Arslan is still alive he is still faced with pursuers from other kingdoms and the head of the Lusitania army, a mysterious man with a silver mask who knows a secret that could jeopardize Arslan‘s succession to the throne. Arslan is a gentle, kind person that doesn’t enjoy fighting, he must learn to fight and protect himself and gain the courage to lead an army to regain his home.

10. Shingeki No Bahamut: Genesis (Rage of Bahamut) (2014)

Leaving one of the best for last, not to be confused with the popular series with a similar name Shingeki no Kyojin(Attack on Titan) this show is just as good. One of the first shows from one of my favorite Anime studios, Studio Mappa. I had low expectations when I heard this was a card game adaptation from a new anime studio but I decided to check it out despite that and it was the best decision. This has all the elements of a great anime, the beautiful animation, the unique characters and the compelling story and all the cool action scenes are just a plus. There is a second season too but I’ll leave that for another time, ok time to stop gushing about this wonderful show, time for the story!.

Years and years ago the ancient powerful dragon Bahamut reeked havoc on Mistarcia, a land where gods and demons lived harmoniously with humans. The gods and demons manage to seal away Bahamut with the god key and agree to split it to keep him sealed. Now that the the peace has been restored we meet the main characters and one of my favorites the orange Afro haired bounty hunters Favaro Leone. Favaro is constantly on the run from his adversary and fellow bounty hunter Kaiser Lidfard who‘s main purpose in life is to get revenge on him. One day both of their lives are thrown into chaos when they meet the mysterious girl Amira who holds half of the god key sealing Bahamut and wants help reaching the land of Helheim. I also can’t forget to mention my other favorite character and the fourth member of this unlikely crew Rita the zombie necromancer little girl she is just the definition of cool. Then there’s the characters that want to steal the god key the demon Azazel and the knight Jean D’Arc who are constantly in the characters way but you’ll find out more about them in the show. These unlikely heroes must face the threat of the battle of gods and demons, the pursuers of the god key and incoming threat of Bahamut awakening.

[scrunchi]

Why Richie's Parents are NOT Abusive (book spoilers)

So, I read a lot of fanfiction where Richie's parents are shown as abusive and don't care about him which I think is because we only have the information from the book on how Maggie and Went are and I totally get why alot of you guys see them as bad parents, but I want to chat a little bit about this so please hear me out:

I think this “missunderstanding” exsits mainly bacause of the timeline of the book. The movies play in the late 80s, the book in the late 50s and this is a HUGE difference because children were raised so differently from how they are today! It's a shitty thing, but hitting your child (for exsample, this does not happen in the book) back then in the 50s was a normal way to teach kids and I'm aware this is sadly still happening today, but back then it was just normal.

A few scenes I want to talk about:

Maggie cries when Rich breaks his glases:

In this part of the book she cries and does not believe him that it wasnt his fault that his glases broke and leaves him upset in the kitchen, but SERIOUSLY?! Yes, it's a shitty thing to do but we all do things that we regret when we are upset, and he breaks his glases a lot and his parents have to pay for new ones, it doesn't matter who broke them at this point because the frustration of this happening over and over is just there at the first moment.

Richie wants money to go to the movies: Chapter8Part6

Richie asks for money and his dad wants him to mow their lawn because he already spend his pocket money and its a really funny scene. I dont know where people get the idea of Went hitting or even hating Richie, he is only in one scene of the book I think(??) and he is really loving and jokes around with Richie and I really loved that scene also because it shows the atmosphere of their home life? Maggie not really understanding them but still loving them and Went showing where Richie got his humor from? Just love it, here a pic I drew of this scene because cuteness:

Icetea: Chapter8Part11

I think this really shows how Maggie and Richie love eachother even if it is a really really small detail. This is when Richie talks to Bill infront of his house about going to Neibolt and they are talking really seriously but Maggie is sitting on the porch and asks them if they want icetea:

“...´I poured the tea, boys!´ Richie´s mom called cheerily. ´Right there, Mom!´ Richie called again, offering a big, false smile. It disappared immediately as he turned back to Bill” 

Its such a small sign of her caring about him, and he is doing the same when he fake smiles at her so she doesn't worry about him.

Maggie wanting a girl: Chapter8Part11

“´I dont understand either of them, she thought. Where they go, what they do, what they want... or what will become of them. (...) sometimes I'm afraid for them and sometimes I'm afraid of them... She found herself thinking, not for the first time, that it would have been nice if she and Went could have had a girl as well.(!!!not instread!!!) A pretty little girl she could have understood.”

Shows again that she just does not understand boys in general, not just Richie, but he is also still really young at this point (they are around 10 in the book, 13 in the movies) and this doesn't mean she will not learn to understand Richie/boys. And also relationships grow into different directions, I'm sure they have a nice one even if she does not understand him at this point. How many times did you something your parents didn't get?

Also small things I remember:

Adult Richie cries at one point and thinks about the last time he cried which was the death of his mom (Went dies before her btw.)

When the child losers think about telling someone about IT, Bill suggests Richies parents but Richie says that they are cool but wouldn't understand the situation, which is true with every adult in Derry.

I totally get that this works as a plot point for fanfictions, but for people who only read fanfictions and never read the book it can be wrong information (in my opinion). But still: have fun with fanfiction, thats what its for, this was just my view of it and I wanted to get this out for so long holy shit whats wrong with me?

[justanotherwriter-fangirl]

He´s My Son (K. S.)

Words: 4,420 words

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, gangs, drugs and cheating, a little bit of violence and a couple curse words but overall I think it’s friendly.

Request: Can you write a imagine where kelly's girlfriend has Aiden her 5 years old son and kelly's been his father figure since he was two and then the reader's ex comes back and wants to be in Aiden's life and go to the firehouse where kelly is with Aiden to take the little boy with him because the reader doesn't want him in his life because he is involved with gangs and drugs so kelly tells him that Aiden is his son and that he won't take him and all 51 support him? You finished, please...

A/N: Hi!!! I’m so happy with how this turned out, hope you all enjoy it and like it as much as I do so let me know how you feel about it. 

Gif obtained from Google. All credits to its owner.

Thanks for reading

_______________________

Life had never been easy with you, leaving your home in a small town at age 17 to ran away from a place where nothing ever happened, arriving to the big city of Chicago where you didn’t know anyone with barely any money, looking for a job as a waitress to afford the expenses of your new life and last but not least, meeting the man who would later turn into your worst nightmare.

Once you arrived to Chicago and settled in a little apartment you could barely afford, you decided to enroll in Chicago’s Community College to become a nurse, it had been hard with a lot of double shifts at weekends and many many nights awake studying but finally you did it and got a nice job at Gaffney Chicago Medical Center, that’s where you met the person who you thought you would spend the rest of your life with, Ryan.

He had entered to the ED after a motorcycle accident and you immediately felt attracted to him, it was crazy, he was your patient and there was more important things to think of,  like taking care of his multiple wounds, mostly cuts and scratches, but still, you couldn’t fell for a patient, that was basic.

But life’s funny like that so after Will cleared him off to leave the hospital, he asked you out, you tried to refuse even when you didn’t really want to saying that he was a patient and it was wrong, but he insisted, he wasn’t a patient anymore, he had just been released, so with that argument and a little flattering of his part, you agreed to go out with him.

One date turned into two and then three and without realising it suddenly 2 years had passed by and you were moving together. You loved him, you really did and that was the main reason why you stayed with him, even after learning that he was part of a gang on the southside of the city and his day job was selling drugs, yes it was bad but he had always been so good to you.

A year later and things started to change, every cell in your body often told you to run away from that guy, that he was bad news and he was going to get you killed someday but your heart couldn’t bare the idea of leaving him. You had passed many sleepless night trying to figure out what to do, always trying to convince yourself to leave but you couldn’t, you were sure you could change him and get him out from that life, after all, that was your job, to help people. That thought was kept you going every day, despite all your fights and all those times he would grabbed your arms so hard that you'd have to wear long sleeves to work to hide the bruises, despite the nights he would come home so high or drunk that he could barely pronounce your name and all the nights you knew he was cheating on you, because, after all, it wasn’t his fault, right? It was all the drug’s fault and the people he hang with.

And one day, right when you thought nothing was going to change, you took that pregnancy test, two lines staring back at you giving you the hope you needed, that little person growing inside you was going to be the light at the end of the tunnel, that little baby was the answer to all your prayers.

But that wasn’t how Ryan thought at all, when you told him the news he was so furious, yelling at you for being so sloppy, for getting pregnant to tie him up and finally for cheating on him because there was no way that baby was his. After that he just left with his friends, probably to get high again and sleep with some other girl, leaving you at home alone and crying your heart out.

You felt destroyed, how could he said all those things to you? You always were faithful, you always forgive him and, more importantly, you always stayed until suddenly something changed, your tears stopped and you realized now you really had to leave, if not for you then for your baby who now depended of you so grabbing a bag you started to pack all your stuff, leaving nothing behind that could be a sign that you ever lived there.

Once on the street, with the air hitting your face as you put everything in your car, you felt the weight of the world being lifted of from your shoulders for the first time in a very long time, taking your phone out to call April, your best friend in the world.

You had met her when you first started working at the ED, from the beginning she was nice and helped you to get used to the craziness you had to deal with everyday. Being the sweetheart she was, she let you stayed at her place through all your pregnancy, you insisted to stay just for a couple days, just enough until you could found another apartment but she didn't let you go, completely excited with the idea of being the aunt of your baby. 

Time flew by and when you least expected it, Aiden was born, the whole ED crew by your side, April and Will holding your hands, Natalie making sure everything was going fine and Maggie supporting you from the side with her encouraging words. 

In that moment, with your little baby boy in your arms and all your friends around you, life couldn't be better. 

After Aiden turned 1 you moved to a nice little apartment near the hospital where you met Kelly Severide, he was April's childhood friend and went with her at the housewarming party. He was sweet, charming and so handsome and you both really hit it off immediately but after Ryan and everything you had gone through you were a little bit wary of going back to the dating world, specially now that you had your little boy with you, Aiden being your number 1 priority. You knew Kelly was nothing like Ryan but that didn’t change the fact that you had some trust issues regarding guys.

It was really hard to say no to him when the boy was so persistent, going to visit you at the hospital whenever he had time in between calls when he was working or going to your place with some takeout to help you take care of the baby. 

Slowly but surely, he eventually won your heart, having all those little details with you made you warm up to the idea of dating him and break down all the walls you had around your heart.

One rare night when you had the opportunity to go to Molly's with Maggie and April after shift, he showed up, flowers in hand and a huge smile on his face, to ask you officially on a date, how could you ever say no to that? He was the perfect gentleman and more importantly than anything, he accepted you with all your baggage, trust issues and Aiden, willing to be his father figure.

He soon started to be there in every first of Aiden, his first tooth, his first steps, his first word, the first time you ever took him to a zoo or his first day at daycare, staying with you at night and helping you whenever he woke up at 3 am crying or taking care of him when he wasn’t on duty and you had long shifts at the hospital.

He was fully committed, not only with you but with Aiden too, so much that one day when you had stopped by the firehouse with Aiden to pay him a quick visit you caught him at the table of squad 3 reading a book about “100 things you need to know about babies”, the sight melting away all doubts and fears you ever had, leaving nothing behind but love because that was the moment you realized you loved Kelly and it was such a strong and powerful feeling you had never experienced before.

Time flew by and before you realized it you were throwing Aiden’s fifth birthday party, the theme: firefighters. Ever since he was aware of what Kelly did for a living and understood what it was about, all he wanted was to be a firefighter, rescue people and be lieutenant of the squad just like him and every time he would mention it the smile on Kelly’s face would only get bigger full with pride.

“Happy birthday to you…” you all sang to Aiden in front of his fire truck birthday cake, the whole firehouse and Med staff there to spent the day celebrating with you.

“Blow out the candles, champ” Kelly said ruffling his hair.

“Don’t forget to make a wish!”

“Done!” he yelled before blowing the candles while everyone laughed and clapped, the boy having everyone in the room wrapped around their little finger.

“So... tell us, Aiden, what did you wished for?” April said

“I wished…” he said slowly creating expectation in the room “to be just like dad! A firefighter!” he screamed before hopping off his chair to go play with his friends, everyone on the room celebrating and laughing without realizing what had just happened. They couldn’t know it but that had been the first time Aiden called Kelly his dad, bringing happy tears to your eyes. 

Even though Kelly had been there for you both since Aiden was almost two and Aiden couldn’t remember much before him, you had always told him the truth, letting him know that Kelly was your boyfriend and his biological father had disappeared long before he was born, it had been a little bit difficult to explain it to a 4 years old boy but with Kelly’s help you managed to do it avoiding all the ugly parts of the story and letting him know that no matter who his biological father was, you and Kelly would always love him. 

Since he was a toddler who was barely starting to speak you had taught him that honesty was the best policy so you always tried to teach him by example even when it came to situations like that, once you explained it all to him Kelly and you made sure he knew that you were his family no matter what, trying to clear all fears from his little head when he asked if Kelly would leave you just like the other man did, the question almost breaking your heart and leaving you without an answer, fortunately Kelly immediately told him that he would never leave either one of you, that he loved you both and that we wanted to be his dad if he let him. 

Around a year has passed since that day and you were more than happy to know that finally Aiden’s fears had gone away and he was ready to call Kelly his dad, sure that he would never leave you.

In that moment you felt Kelly’s strong arm around you waist making you come back to reality, proud and happiness all over his face as he looked down at you, that one look being more than enough to let you know what he was thinking, that moment in time being the proof that it was all worth it and without the hardest and darkest moments in your life you wouldn’t be standing there surrounded by the people you loved most.

“Who wants some cake?” you heard April in the background “Kelly, be nice and hand me some plates, please” she said while cutting the slices without realizing you were just having a moment when suddenly the doorbell rang.

“I’m coming” you said.

“Hey, (Y/N), if it’s Capp he better be standing behind that door with a really big present for Aiden, we will not tolerate him arriving just in time for the cake” Herrmann said making you laugh.

“I’ll let him know” you said opening the door still laughing.

“Miss me?” said the man at the door, his voice sending a chill down your spine and making you want to grab your son and run.

He hadn’t change a bit since the last time you saw him around 6 years ago but now all you ever saw in him transformed into disgust and fear.

“R-Ryan?” you stuttered closing the door as much as you could so nobody could see him “What are you doing here? How did you found me?”

“Well, it certainly wasn’t easy, especially since you left no trail behind you that time you left me but a couple days ago a friend of mine told me he saw you entering this building, I thought I would pay you a visit to check on you, see how are you doing now”

“I’m fine, thanks for the visit but I have to get back inside” you said trying to hide your nerves and closing the door when a rough push from his hand stopped you.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in, (Y/N)? It’s not like everyday your son turns 5 years old” in that moment you felt like your soul had left our body and all color drained from your face.

“I-I don’t… don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Don’t play stupid and let me in, (Y/N), I want to meet my son” he said threatening when it reached you from the inside the sound of Aiden’s laugh, making you snap out of your fearful state.

“He’s not your son, you made that very clear 6 years ago when I told you I was pregnant” you said firmly taking back all your power, your mother instinct kicking in instantly. “So now leave before I call the police” you finished before closing the door in his face, still shocked from your outburst.

It took you a second to recompose yourself, still trembling from the encounter with the man that some nights still haunted your dreams.

“Babe, do you want some cake?” said Kelly approaching you when he noticed the state you were in “Hey, what happened? Are you okay? Who was it?” he quickly questioned putting his hands in your shoulders to look at you and make sure you weren’t harm.

“He’s back, Kelly” you whispered, the lump in your throat barely letting anything out “Ryan’s back”

"What?"

"It was him at the door, he said that he wanted to meet Aiden. Kelly, what am I going to do? What if he wants to take him away?"

"What we are going to do is talk to Antonio, hell we’ll talk to Voight if we need to, we'll put a restraining order and make sure there is no way he can get close to you again, you're not alone anymore, (Y/N), you have all of us, you have me"

"I'm scared"

"I know" he said enveloping you in a hug as if that way he could protect you from all the bad in the world.

“Mom, hurry! I want to open my presents!” said Aiden running to you and tugging at your hand. With your head still buried on Kelly’s chest you took a second to breathe and push all your worries to the back of your head, making sure to put in a smile for Aiden.

“Let’s go, honey” you said stepping back, grabbing Kelly’s hand and letting the kid guide you to the living room where everyone was sitting around a big pile of presents.

“Okay, champ, open up mine first” said Kelly sitting in the floor next to him and passing him a box.

“Kelly…” you said, you had told him that it wasn’t necessary at all, he had already helped a lot with the organization of the party.

As Aiden ripped the paper and took the lid on a big red firefighter helmet came into view.

“Mom, look!” Aiden exclaimed putting it on “Now I’m a firefighter!”

Everyone laughed, he was so happy and that was what mattered the most. He continued opening the rest of his presents: clothes, a superhero cape and a bunch of toys.

It was around 7 when you and the girls could finally just sit down in the living room to talk and drink some wine, the guys at the kitchen with some beers and a mess of chips and popcorn around them and the rest of the kids and their parents gone.

Aiden had fallen asleep in your arms half an hour ago with his firefighter helmet still on and you wished everything could stay just like that.

“Hey, Antonio, I need to ask you a favor” said Kelly taking him apart for a moment.

“Yeah, of course, tell me”

“I don’t know if Dawson ever told you anything about (Y/N)’s ex boyfriend, Aiden’s father”

“Not much, she once mentioned he was into drugs and gangs but not much more, he’s not in the system”

“Well, he came by earlier saying that he wants to meet Aiden and (Y/N)’s afraid he might want to take him away, is there anything we can do? I was thinking about a restraining order but I don’t know how much that can help considering his background”

“Well, we can start with that but there’s not much we can do without any evidence”

"Okay, thanks"

“If anything happens let me know, okay?”

“Sure, thanks Antonio” Kelly said going back with the rest of the guys.

When you least expected it it was already 10 pm and everyone was going, it was saturday but that didn’t mean anything being a nurse, doctor, detective or firefighter, most of you having to work the next day.

“Aiden was so happy, I think we did something right today” Kelly told you while you were getting ready to get in bed.

“Yeah, I swear I could see his little face lighting up when he opened your present, thank you, Kelly, for everything”

“It was nothing, really. I saw it the other day on my way back to the fire house after a call and I thought of him”

“I don’t know what I’d be doing without you”

“Handling it like you always have, sweetheart, I’m here because you want me around, not because you need me”

“You always have the right words, don’t you?” you said laughing a little bit.

“I hope so” he said getting into bed and extending his arms for you to crawl with him.

“What are we going to do tomorrow?” you asked once you were both in bed, your head on his chest and his hand playing with your hair “You have shift and I have to be at the ED”

“I can take him with me, come pick him up after your shift, we can even have dinner together there”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to cause you any trouble”

“Totally, I’ll speak with the chief and whenever we have a call he can stay with Connie, she’ll love him, don’t worry about it” he finished pressing a kiss on your forehead, the feeling of his fingers playing with your hair relaxing you and making you feel sleepy.

“Okay but if anything happens or you need me to go get him, just call me, okay?” you said suppressing a yawn.

“Just sleep, babe” was the last thing you heard.

That night was probably the worst you’ve had in a while, images of Ryan, your past together and him taking Aiden away constantly awakening you and keeping you from resting properly so you were more than happy when you noticed the sun was rising from behind your curtains.

Trying to not wake up Kelly you slid out of bed and headed towards the kitchen, coffee being your only thought after the horrible night you had.

Once you had a cup of coffee in your system you went to the bathroom to take a shower, the caffeine and the water helping you to feel completely awake and ready for the day. After you finished and put your nurse uniform on you found your way back to kitchen to start breakfast and since it was sunday you choose to spoil your boys a little bit with some nutella waffles.

You were halfway done when you heard steps coming from the hallway and then a pair of strong arms wrapped around your middle, Kelly resting his chin over your shoulder and leaving a small kiss on your neck.

“Morning” he said in a low husky voice.

“Good morning, babe. Can you go wake Aiden up, please?”

“Are you sure you want me to?” he said now peppering your shoulder with small kisses.

“Not exactly but you both need to get ready to go to the firehouse” you said giving a squeeze to one of his hands before going back to your current task “Puls, don’t forget that tuesday’s our day, we’ll leave Aiden with Matt and Gabby and then it’ll be just us to do whatever you want”

“Fine” he said finally letting you go “Can’t wait for it to be tuesday though” you heard him saying from the hallway.

You were setting the table when you heard laughter coming your way, Kelly appearing with Aiden on his back, the red firefighter helmet once again on his head matching his fire truck pajamas.

“Hey Aiden, tell mama what I was just telling you” Kelly said putting Aiden down on a chair and sitting next to you.

“I’m going to dad’s job today!” Aiden yelled raising his arms, a light on his eyes you would do anything to protect.

“That’s right, buddy, now eat your breakfast so we can get ready to leave”

An hour later you were saying goodbye to your boys and heading towards your car, ready for the day ahead.

“Ok, Aiden, let me give you the tour” Kelly told the 5 year old once they reached the firehouse, the toddler hand on his while they walk to the front door.

“Hey! Look who’s here” yelled Herrmann from the inside, the rest of the house coming out to receive Aiden.

“Look, I’m one of you” he let go of Kelly’s hand to go running to the guys, showing them his red helmet again.

Everyone there loved the little guy, he had won their hearts a long time ago and it was obvious as they all show him around and let him get into the fire truck, never treating him as Kelly’s partner son but as if he was his own because for anyone who ever had the pleasure to meet the three of you all they could see was a family, not mattering blood but the real connection you all had.

“Hey, Aiden, I need to tell you something” said Kelly in a moment of quiet, kneeling down to be eye level with him “Listen, champ, because it’s important, okay?”

“Okay” he said putting on his serious face and trying to cross his little arms over his chest almost making Kelly laugh.

“There will be a moment when the sirens will go on and we’ll be call to go do our job and I won’t be able to take you with me so you are going to stay with Connie, okay? She’s nice but you have to listen to her while I’m gone” he said pointing at her who was going over some papers at her desk.

“Ohh, I like her” he said now relaxing and getting closer to Kelly “She once draw with me while you and mom were busy but told me to keep it a secret” Aiden whispered to him and put his finger over his lip.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone” Kelly said playing along.

“Is that him? My son?” was suddenly being heard from the front, Kelly well aware of who was the owner of that voice and fire started to run down his veins.

“Hey, why don’t you go with Mouch to watch some cartoons? I’m sure he was looking for something new to watch” quickly said Kelly to the boy, Aiden running to the inside excited to show someone else his new favorite show and unaware of anything else.

Standing up and turning around he met eye to eye with the man who had hurt you so much many years ago and now was trying once again to do it.

“Leave, now” Kelly said angrily

“I’m not leaving anywhere unless it’s with my son”

By now everyone had already noticed the tension between the two and were getting around them, ready to back their lieutenant up or keep him from doing something stupid.

“Are you out of your mind? He never was and never will be yours”

“I have rights, he’s my son and I demand to see him” said getting closer to Kelly.

“You have no rights here, pal, you’re in my territory now and I’m not scared of you so before you do something you might regret just leave and leave my family alone because he’s MY son”

“Your family?” Ryan said before laughing “That dumb bitch will leave you just like she did with me, she’s not worth all the trouble, man”

“What did you just said!?” exploded Kelly pushing him back, everyone ready to break them apart.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you” said Matt getting in the middle when Ryan was about to push Kelly back.

“Yeah man, just leave” added Cruz, a halligan in his hands.

That’s when they both took a second to look around, almost everyone was there including chief Boden who was watching everything from behind, the only ones missing were the girls and Mouch, taking care of Aiden.

“I’m not done yet” said Ryan when he realized he was outnumbered.

“Yes, it is. Now leave and don’t ever come back” added Herrmann from the side.  

“Whatever, we’ll see about that” finished Ryan before leaving the fire house. 

“Are you okay, Severide?” stepped in chief Boden.

“Yes, sir” he said breathing and running a hand down his face.

“Good, now I suggest we let CPD know about this situation, it must be enough for them to do something. Back to work everybody”

Kelly knew it wasn’t going to be that easy but he didn’t care because no matter what he would always be ready to fight for his son, for his family.

_______________________

Masterlist

[ghostnebula]

thinkin bout the werewolf au, and the thing about real wolves is that they lick the insides of each others mouths as a greeting & if they're acclimated to humans (like in a wolf sanctuary) they will do their best to greet people the same way. it occurred to me that it could be super funny if one of the losers ran into the toziers in wolf form and realized they were friendly, but in a way that's weird for a wild animal. and from there they basically conspiracy theory their way into realizing(1/2)

that werewolves exist. only THEN do they realize, oh hey. the toziers sure have a lot of dog toys for people who don't own dogs or dogsit and realize that maybe the toziers are werewolves. I don't know if it's funnier for whichever kid ran into wolf!toziers to drag the ENTIRE losers club into investigating and richie's panicking internally the whole time or for them to thoughtfully drag everyone EXCEPT richie bc he's afraid of werewolves and he has no clue until they show up at his house. (2/2)

I really thought this ask was going somewhere else dhjdhhjf thanks for making me think about Richie literally licking Eddie’s mouth (wolf or human form honestly lol)

But ALSO!!!! I love this concept because I imagine Ben just walking through the Barrens and holy fuck there are wolves. And he’s like, bracing for death, because what the fuck else are you supposed to do when you run into wolves while you’re alone in the fucking woods? But then one of them bounds up to him and starts sniffing at his hands while he’s standing stock-still, trying not to piss his pants. The wolf doesn’t attack, though, just wags its tail and starts licking his hands and nosing at them, trying to encourage him to pet it, so he does, ‘cause fuck it, y’know?

This wolf is like weirdly excited about getting some pats, and then a belly rub, and keeps trying to nudge the other two over, as they sit nearby and observe with nigh-parental disapproval on their faces -- something almost human about it, and that makes Ben laugh, because all parents are the same, apparently. (Meanwhile Maggie and Went are like... “Richie we are not supposed to interact with the humans. We know he is your friend. He is still not supposed to know about us. Develop some impulse control please”)

Ben’s crouching down giving this very good boy some ear scritches when the wolf starts trying to lick his mouth, which is kinda gross but also adorable, and Ben’s not positive, because he’s no wildlife expert, but he thinks he read somewhere that that’s like a greeting between pack members or something, and he’s almost flattered that this wolf likes him that much, but also... this wolf should not like him that much? It’s a wild animal??

Unless.... it isn't a normal wolf? After all, things are never normal in Derry. So he wonders if, just maybe, It could have something to do with this, if there isn't a perfectly normal explanation like "pets escaped from rich asshole" or "ran away from a circus." Some kind of weird Derry influence isn't entirely out of the question, right?

But that’s crazy. In fact, it’s so crazy that Ben goes to the library about it, as one does, and spends his whole afternoon researching wolf behaviour and habitats, and only ends up more confused. Until, of course, one of the books he’s reading contains some offhand comment about some culture or another’s legends about werewolves influencing blah blah blah and the lightbulb goes on and like... really... if interdimensional child-eating alien spider sewer clowns can exist, why not werewolves? Can't werewolves also exist as separate entities that have nothing to do with the aforementioned interdimensional child-eating alien spider sewer clown?

The first person he runs into after an absurd amount of research on werewolves is Stan, and he’s like bursting with all this info, so he interrupts his bird-watching to unload all his conspiracy theories on him. But Stan, bless him, is like, “Yeah I don’t see why werewolves wouldn’t exist. Wouldn’t be the strangest thing we’ve ever dealt with.”

They tell Bill, obviously, because Big Bill is their leader, technically, and they want to hear his thoughts on the matter. Bill 100% is on board with Ben’s werewolf theory, and excited to prove it, and maybe meet the wolves Ben ran into, and now they’re all like “who could it be???? a resident of Derry? some hermits in the woods? a werewolf family just passing through?? what a mystery!!”

Cue these three musketeers running back to Bill’s house to make phone calls to the other Losers, inviting them to meet at the clubhouse after dinner to share this important discovery, and when Bill starts dialing Richie’s number Stan goes, “What are you doing? Don’t do that,” and hangs up.

“Why not?” Bill asks, because he is Bill and a himbo and he is not smart but he is very pretty, so that’s fine, and Stan smacks him (lovingly) on the back of the head and is like, “William. Richie is literally terrified of werewolves. Roping him into this would probably traumatize him, and I think you already did plenty of that with the clown fiasco. How did you even manage to forget Richie’s afraid of werewolves? You should know that better than anyone.”

And anyway they don’t tell Richie, to protect him, so the rest of the Losers’ Club has regular meetings to discuss Derry’s resident werewolves, who at some point are also spotted by Mike and Bev, and interacted with by Eddie (who thought he was going to get fucking eaten when this massive black wolf came bounding out of the woods to pounce on him and almost had a heart attack on the spot, but instead got lots of very slobbery kisses and a reason to brush his teeth 10 times when he got home). None of them consider that it might be Richie for at LEAST the first 3 months.

[jadedragoness]

Review: Peace Talks

First Read Through Reaction

Now staring off, knowing that the book was essentially part one of two did mean that I went in expecting that there would be plot lines that wouldn��t be resolved. I did NOT expect that nearly zero of the plot lines would be resolved, at all. Yikes. Now, I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy it. I did. But it felt like there were 50 to 60 pages missing that should have been in the story to at least wrap up minor plot lines before heading into ‘Battle Ground’.

Warning: Full of Spoilers

Such the arrival of the Outsiders those Cornerhounds. Um… Outsiders and at no point that Harry wonder why in the hell they were called to Chicago? Or why they were targeting him and Ebenezer. Seriously, unless the author totally forgot we know that Outsiders can only be called by mortals. So human wizards brought them. So was it someone in the ‘Black Council’ or was it the Formor, since we know from previous stories that they grab humans and mind-whammy them and also modify them. And we know that they’ve been pretty focused on grabbing minor practioners for a couple of years now.

Hell, even just knowing why Thomas attacked the svartalf King would have been good to know in the book even if we don’t find out who it was yet.

That being said lets start of with things I didn’t like.

Thing Which I Wasn’t All that Pleased About:

1. Butters in that threesome relationship.

Now, let me explain, it’s not because its a poly relationship. I don’t even twitch over how Justine and Thomas include others in the sexual part of their relationship. It’s because I kept wondering if Marci was even into dudes. As far as I knew she was only into girls. And now she’s suddenly bi?

What the hell?

I think my reaction has a lot to do with how skewed the sexual orientation gradient in shown among Named characters. You have straight men. Straight women. Bi women who are shown to be blatantly into men and women…and that’s it, now.

No lesbian women with zero interest in men. No bi men. No gay men. No asexual characters. No trans characters. No gender fluid people.

I know that this due to the author’s eye and while it hasn’t irritated me much in the past as we keep getting more and more books with more newly introduced characters the lack is becoming more and more glaring to me. Especially, as I have drifted into reading other series that manage to be way more inclusive about this sort of thing in great and amazing ways *sighs happily over Rivers of London series*. And I don’t just mean in passing with random nameless scenery people that never talk which have popped up in the Dresden Files but with actual characters that have names, dialogue and contribute to the series.

So it really, really annoys me that Marci went from being the only lesbian who is a named character to joining the horde of bi women in the DF verse.

Okay, so its not really a Butters issue to much as a grumble about the spectrum of gender and sexually needing better representation.

*grumbles* Step up your game, Butcher.

I will add that I’m head-canoning that actually the relationship here is Butters with Andi, Andi with Butter and Marci, and Marci with Andi. That pretty much with Butters running around being the new Knight Andi didn’t like how her boyfriend wasn’t paying attention and gave Butters the ultimatum of letting Marci in as Andi’s girlfriend or they broke up.

… yeah, I’m totally liking that spin way, way better.

2. That Marcone took forever to show up! ARGH! I love him ok.

Considering how early he was name dropped in the story the amount of time it took him to show up… Jim Butcher is a damn Marcone-tease. *glares hotly in author’s direction*

3. I don’t like it that Murphy is so hurt. I don’t hate it. I think I’m just uneasy about the future implications.

Having reread the entire series before reading ‘Peace Talks’ I fully expected some lingering injury but not to that level. I’m actually worried about her chances of surviving any upcoming battle, and not just in Battle Ground. There’s even more danger coming down the pipeline in future books and she won’t let herself stay ‘safe’ when she could be watching Harry’s back… so its a worrying problem.

Now if she died I have no doubt that her being recruited to be a Valkerie is an option. But then I remembered how those warrior women go out into the world with ‘clients’ and of the two we’ve seen they’ve been attached to ‘monsters’ aka Lara and Marcone.

Unless, the payment isn’t cash and she can be attached to Harry. *hums in thought*

But then I have to wonder how much Murphy would accept that role. She’s also a pretty devout Catholic as this book reminded us so that is also something that would make her say no to the offer.

4. That the younger Wardens who had so looked up to Harry being so damned suspicious… ow. That hurt. I may have teared up and sniffled into a tissue thinking about it. And then sobbed because so much of it came from Carlos… Carlos! The man went into the Deeps with Harry! Ouch.

5. Rudolph… that roach.

Ugh, I’ve had the disturbing thought that now that magic and the supernatural on the path to being exposed to all of humanity, scared humanity too, that will end up with a resurgence of a new Inquisition and the killing of anything eldritch. And you know that Rudolph would definitely be in it. *shudders in disgust* Creep.

BTW I totally don’t believe that Rudolph answers to Marcone. It doesn’t make sense as to why he was so pushy go get Harry during ‘Changes’. I had thought he was answering to the Red Court but with them being taken out of the picture… now I wonder if he isn’t answerable to the Black Council.

Things I Did Not Expect:

1. Damn… when Ebenezer sent that spell through Harry and ‘killing’ I was so shocked even though I was pretty sure there was a twist coming. Mostly because of what it says about Ebenezer.

Ebenezer actions killed Harry.

Sure it was a fake body that brought no harm to the real Harry. But if Harry hadn’t thought ahead? If he hadn’t used his brain to ask Molly to create a fake? Eb would have killed his own grandson.

Sure it was an accident but it could so easy have resulted in a dead Harry. I was crying so hard I wondered if my eyeballs were loosening in their sockets. Argh.

2. Bonea…. Harry your naming skills are simply weird. I’m so glad that Susan named Maggie.

Although Bonnie is a pretty great nickname.

Thinks I Found Utterly Hilarious

1. The line about the best offense being a T-Rex? Gold. Pure gold.

2. When Harry figured out there are angels in the hilt of the Swords of the Cross and Butter’s immediate reaction of horror because he’d accidentally laundered the hilt, giving it a ride in a washing machine.

OMG! I had the instant image of a miniature angel screaming and growing dizzy when going through the spin cycle.

I know that makes no sense but that’s where my mind went, okay.

3. The conjuritis. Omg, it’s so gross with all the ectoplasm leaking from Harry’s nose but it’s sooooo funny. Also the way he kept getting the ‘aren’t you too old for this’ from Ebenezer and then Lara made me giggle even harder.

Then I thought: dude, it’s like chicken pox, something you got as a kid but if you never had it you get it when exposed later in life. So one of his kids has it. Probably Maggie too.

4. When Sanya pretended to have his hand lopped off. I straightened up and was so worried Sanya had lost a hand. Then when I realized he was pretending to freak out Butters and Harry I admit to laughing way too hard. Got me too.’

Also there’s no way that Sanya was actually defeated there. He’s younger and better trained then Butters, I don’t care how light (Heh) the new sword is. He definitely threw that fight to test his hunch.

5. Murphy’s inability to handle being flirted on with a red-headed warrior woman. Sooooo funny. I mean, Murphy could have said a number of things such as ‘I’m exclusive.’ or ‘I’m not interested in women.’ But she just floundered. Heh heh.

6. I continue to find it completely hilarious that Lara, a couple of centuries old vampire, seems to keep learning a lot of power moves from Marcone.

Such as: having trained fighters that are NOT food, well… mostly. Having those mines installed in the walls. And now hiring a Valkerie of her very own.

I keep thinking, yeah, there’s no way she’d win in a fight against Marcone because there’ s no way that Marcone has let slip all of his tricks.

Things I Really, Really Liked:

1. Marcone. Everything Marcone. *heart-eyes*

And then he proves why he’s so damned scary by standing up to the Titan. Then to the ghouls. Then after proving his bad-ass quotient if off the charts he gets everyone organized to fight.

Yeeessss… It proves to me that when it comes to protecting Chicago he is actually the best person after Harry. Hell, in some ways he’s better than Harry. Now, I’m not saying he’s a white knight or anything like that. Just that he has the intelligence, the ruthlessness, the will, the power and the men to provide the most protection to the city’s mortal denizens. At least when there’s a war raging with multiple enemies who will be attacking at various points.

And oh, I can’t wait to see how he’s going to get revenge for the death of his people. Omg, he’s going to kill the Formor so hard. *goes starry eyed thinking about more Marcone*

But why did he have to appear so late in the book?! *wails in a heart-rending fashion*

There better be a ton more Marcone in the next book! *makes desperate gimme gimme hands*

No, I don’t have a Marcone addiction… I can stop anytime I want to. *sneaks off to mainline some “Even Hand” straight into the brain*

2. The return of Goodman Grey! Oh, I hope he’s around a lot! I’ve really grown to like him.

<b>Things Which Blew My Mind or Were Just Freaking Awesome: </b>

1. Dad!Harry is actually the most amazing Harry. Forget the magic flinging and the fire storms… this is the best Harry.

Just the way he takes care of his kids…. *turns to mush like ectoplasm*

2. Murphy and Harry are finally together! Yay! Yay! Hip hip hooray!

Now, I’m a rather shameless Marcone/Dresden fic writer, but as I never ever expect this to be canon I’m content to write it as fanfic for my own sense of delight. However when it comes to canon I’m full on board with the Karrin and Harry relationship. Be it friendship or romantic, I think its great.

3. Marcone… that is all.

Random Speculation

1. I find myself wondering about Ebenezer’s rage against vampires. And my brain muttered this theory: Maybe Harry’s grandmother was killed by White Court vampires.

Whoa.

It would explain the vitrolic rage.

And if Lara was involved it would also explain her flash of shame.

We don’t know anything about Harry’s grandmother, not even her name. So… that’s a thought.

2. River Shoulders teaching Harry.

Oh man, oh man, I hope Harry learns shape-shifting.

And thinking about it I had to wonder if the animal-shifting had anything to do with knowing the animal in question which of course made me think…

Harry should learn to shape-shift into a T-Rex.

He already knows how one is put together and the mind of one. And he knows that it’s possible to add extra mass to a shift from the Nevernever in the form of ectoplasm… so

Harrysarous Rex, baby…. I may have to write a fic with this premise.

3. Oh, if it’s possible to make a ectoplasmic body can Harry learn to make one for Bonea? After all Maggie would probably really enjoy getting to play with her little sister that way. Even if Harry can’t do it all the time and it wouldn’t last longer than a day. That would be delightful.

4. Okay, not this is more head-canon than speculation but… considering how hard Harry has been made to be analogous to Merlin I can’t help but wonder if Marcone is suppose to be Arthur’s analogue. So wielding Amorrachius *coughs*Excalibur*coughs* would make sense.

…it’s not just my Marcone-love talking dammit.

Speaking of Merlin, I’m convinced that he’s behind this whole ‘starborn’ thing. Seriously, otherwise its way too convenient that a wizard with that power is born every 666 years. It smacks of a spell.

And if that’s the case it also feeds into my pet theory that the whole reason we have Outsides at the Gates is because Merlin was the schmuck who drew them to our reality in the first place. And everything surrounding the war with the Outsiders are his attempts to try to fix what he broke.

*lost in pondering thoughts*

Things I Have Questions About

1. Did Harry forget he has The Ways Map from his mother? I would have thought he would have figured out a way (heh) to get to the island somehow. He was on it for so long I thought for sure he’d spend time exploring it. Also we knew from ‘Skin Game’ that even tiny factors can change where the Way goes in the Nevernever. I doubt the ENTIRE island has Ways that lead to a bad place. Especially for Harry now that he’s the Warden.

2. Also why didn’t Harry get Lea to help him? After all unless she’s moved it since ‘Changes’ her garden is still on the other side of the sub-basement.

3. What did Lara use that first favor from Mab on? *eyes her suspiciously*

4. Where are the Za Lord’s Guard? *wondering about what been happening with Lacuna and Toot-toot*

5. If Harry gets kicked out of the White Council (good riddance, since they haven’t exactly been all that helpful lately) can he get enough signatures to be added as a member of the Accords in his own right? After all being Warden of Demonreach has got to mean a lot to the older members.

Then he wouldn’t be reliant on Mab’s protection.

I can’t help but hope this proves to be the case, especially if in ‘Battle Ground’ Harry ends up taking down that Titan. Because he needs as much protection and influence he can gather if he’s no longer White Council to protect himself, his people and his kids. Especially if he eventually gets rid of that Winter Knight mantle like I hope he does.

6. How in the hell (pardon the pun) did evil demon Sasquatch survive being turned to mush by Hade’s Ice Gate? Or the shades that were part of the security system that almost got Harry?

*frowns* The only reason I can think of would be the coin of Ursiel being the factor. I doubt a Fallen Angel is allowed to stick around in the Greek realm of the afterlife.

7. WHERE IS BOB?! Seriously, if Butters doesn’t give him back...

[purplesurveys]

1065

survey by pinkchocolate

Who were you with at midnight on January 1, 2021? I was with my family - my dad, mom, siblings, grandma, aunt, and two cousins. Kimi and Cooper were troopers who slept through the fireworks the entire time, though it probably helped a lot that my dad kept music playing in the living room, where they stayed, to drown out the loud sounds.

What was the last thing you drank? Was it in a glass, mug, can, or bottle? I’m currently drinking out of the glass mug that Angela got me for Christmas. It’s clear and she had it customized with my name, but the letters are in the style of the Friends logo :)

Who was the last person to send you a message on social media? I’m not sure; it was either Andi or Jez but I haven’t opened either.

^ What qualities does this person have, that you appreciate? I appreciate Andi’s loyalty and the fact that I can rely on them about anything and everything. They’re also a fantastic older sibling, honest, witty, strong-willed, supportive, and insanely talented. 

Jez and I were part of the same high school group but we actually do not talk much; for the most part, we only interact twice a year, when we greet each other during our birthdays. But he reached out to me because I had written a year-end essay on Facebook where I reflected on my 2020, and he messaged to tell me it was a good read and that he was able to relate a lot. Anyway, I love that he’s a low-maintenance friend. We were never the closest and I haven’t properly hung out with him in five years, but we have always silently supported each other and I appreciate people who can keep friendships like that.

Look around the room and find any red object. What is it? The handles on my embroidery scissors are red.

Do you enjoy any films with Dan Stevens in them? I’m afraid the name is unfamiliar, actually.

Is there anything in the room that has your handwriting on it? Yeah I have several notebooks here in my room, most of which I’ve written on.

Can you name 3 items you own that are pink? My wallet, my keyboard cover, and my note-taking notebook from college. I was definitely crazier over pink in college and at one point I had a pink pencilcase, highlighters, phone case, handbag, and backpack.

Are there any foods that often give you heartburn or indigestion? I will get indigestion randomly, and the only time I’ve gotten heartburn is the time I got a Double Down from KFC a couple of years ago hahahaha.

What are the initials of the last person you saw naked? Does it have to be someone I know? I watched Midsommar last Christmas and there was lots of nudity in it... the last irl person was still my ex.

^ How did you meet that person? If we’re taking the latter answer, I met her in school.

What was the last thing someone said to you, that sounded like an innuendo? I can’t remember the exact sentence anymore but my mom was talking about nuts in a way that I was easily able to turn it into something a little more inappropriate. My cousin and I also joked about WAP last night, lmao.

Is there something you intend to buy in the near future? Nothing cemented yet. I have things I want to buy, but they’re all luxuries that I have to think hard about. For now, I’d love to be able to keep saving especially after not exactly being able to do so during the holidays. I will say that one big pro of becoming single is no longer having to spend so much for relationship things like dates or gifts or gas to drive around, haha.

What was the last thing that caused you to scowl, or frown? My shoulder blades have been in a lot of pain over the last few days.

Is anyone in your family artistically talented? What about musically? We have members who fall under either. My dad, Nina, my cousin Maggie, and I believe even my grandpa, can all draw. On the other side, my cousin Gage can play the flute and the guitar; a lot of people on my maternal grandpa’s side can play the piano; and one of my mom’s cousins on my maternal grandma’s side is a singer. Of course, I got neither of these lmao

Have you smiled at any point during the last hour? For sure. I’m on a 2 Days 1 Night marathon, which always makes me crack up.

^ What was your reason for doing so? Already mentioned it. I’ve also come across some funny shitposts on Facebook in the last hour.

Can you name 3 foods you like, that are yellow? Cheese, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes.

What was the last thing you consulted Google for? Yellow foods...HAHA

Look around the room - can you see anything that has stripes on it? A paper bag I received from Christmas has stripes as part of its design.

When was the last time you read a non-fiction book? What was it about? I’d say it was a few months back. I believe it was AJ’s memoir.

So, did anyone send you a "Happy New Year" message when midnight hit? A lot of people did, which I appreciate.

Is your television on right now? What are you watching? I don’t have a TV in my room, but I have a YouTube video paused. It’s a segment from 2D1N.

Can you recall the last time you sighed? What was the reason? Maybe last midnight watching the fireworks? It was my first New Year in nearly a decade that I did not greet Gabie. It felt strange, bittersweet, but also peaceful. The mix of emotions made me sigh in contentment.

What cute behaviours or characteristics does/do your pet(s) have? Cooper mostly won’t do tricks just because he’s asked to. You have to hold up a fist (because it looks like you have food hidden in it), for him to respond. We’ve done experiments where we asked him to do tricks with and without a fist, and he only ever responds if you have one up, and it’s priceless every time. Kimi’s nearly 13 but still runs, jumps, and stands up like he’s 2 when he hears us preparing his bowl for meals.

Have you rolled your eyes at anyone/anything lately? My mom was being pretty annoying last night, so yup.

What's the screensaver on your computer? I don’t have one. It just goes black after 15 minutes.

[cherry3point14]

Stranger Than Fanfiction: Ch 3

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Dean x Reader Warnings: Meta baby. Pure meta. Word count: 2,100. Chapter Summary: Your google search turns up something unexpected. A/N: No author in this one for... reasons. Also this one is kind of short and lame. A means to an end if you will, but trust me, Ch 4 is a doozy. P.S it’s nearly 3am so Chapter 4 will be up when I wake up, ya dig.

Ao3 if you prefer

It’s almost funny how dramatic the voice in your head wants to be about those suited criminals and yet it doesn’t care to elaborate on anything important. Like, say, your imminent death. The mention of it was so casual, calm, but a couple of weirdos want to pretend to be insurance adjusters and suddenly it’s all pretty prose and run-on sentences. Flowery language about broad-shouldered men in roaring muscle cars that are going to change your life. She’d kept going while you’d interviewed Maggie Hall. She’d harped on and on about how you couldn’t stop thinking about them.

Of course, you couldn’t stop thinking about them, she wouldn’t shut up about them.

After an entire monologue about the way the paper felt in your hands and could never be replaced by computers—purists are the worst—you finally get to leave. That's when you get some respite. You’re walking out into the late afternoon sun and thanking Maggie for her time and it's bliss. Maggie's story sounds a little off, after years doing this you have this gut instinct for when you should investigate further. Funnily enough, you have drama in your life that you’ll submit a valid claim anyway. Just so you can get this cursed case out of your hair. You might even hurry it through the system before the thing has the chance to kill you.

You’re still not sure how a case could kill you. You’re a pencil pusher at best and the interview with Maggie is an excellent example of the majority of your fieldwork, obviously excluding the criminals at the start. Unless your demise is death by papercut.

For now, you’ve given up trying to fathom out the voice you’re hearing, especially since she's chosen to once again go radio silent. If she won’t say anything useful, like say how not to die, then you were going to have to figure out how to skip ahead on your own. Since she kept talking about the imposters you’d met that day, they seemed to be an excellent place to start.

CNK 80Q3. Ohio plates. That's as much as you know without google.

That evening you set yourself up in the same way you would to work from home. There's a desk in the corner of your dining room with a chair that offers enough lumbar support for the longest of research sessions. Although it’s your personal laptop and there’s not normally a large glass of wine sitting next to you when work.

After it powers on you’re assaulted by the usual pop-ups; windows you forgot to close last time and your emails. Procrastinating is not a new routine, and you’re on a mission, so they all get minimized instead of closed completely. Then you open a new browser window and a stark google homepage stares back at you. A hopeful new beginning.

CNK 80Q3. You’re genuinely surprised that she hasn’t started talking again to describe the change in the air as you type in the plate number. Or some drivel about the way your fingers emphasize each letter and number. It’s all there happening anyway, making the moment foreboding, but your narrator doesn’t seem care.

The first row of results are images. Weirdly its images of the license plate itself. That doesn't strike you as odd at first glance and then you think about it a little more. Why are there so many pictures of this particular license plate? Who is running around taking these pictures? You're pretty sure if you typed in your own plate number there would be no pictures of it. And then you see some shopping results where you can actually buy the plate. While the online shops might explain the images, it only really poses more questions. Why are so many people buying that license plate? What’s so special about it?

You take a sip of your wine before you scroll further, savoring the taste as well as the way it relaxes your shoulders. You don't own any 'fun' novelty coasters that say it but you're inclined to agree with the statement you've heard before. Wine really does make everything better.

You’re not yet into the murky depths of page 2 but you’re far enough down the page now to make it past the sponsored results. These links come thick and fast from websites that all seem to have one word in common. Supernatural.

Then you see your salvation. A page called Supernaturalwiki—the link is simply titled: Impala—and you stop scrolling, a grateful sound slipping past your lips as you do. Wiki, you know that word. Like Wikipedia. Wikipedia has references and moderators', clear and concise explanations. This was the easy way out you were looking for.

That’s what you hope as you click on the link anyway. Your naivety lasts all of twenty seconds before the page loads. With its stock image of a 1967 Chevrolet Impala, and a quote about it being the most important object in the universe.

Or it's the most important object in some books at least.

Further clicking and longer sips of wine reveal it’s a series of books called Supernatural—with the title of the wiki you should have seen that coming. These were story after story of ghosts and demons and angels? There are pages that describe monsters, urban legends, and two men. Sam and Dean Winchester. They each have dedicated pages with their whole lives mapped out.

Sam and Dean are fictional brothers and apparently the heroes. Each of their respective profiles begins with an illustrated image from book covers, and then a series of quotes that contradict those pictures. Then their lives are intricately detailed, or should you say they are chronologically recorded according to each book. You would read their histories in full if it wasn't for how tiny the scroll bar is, indicating that these profile pages are ridiculously long.

You sit back in your chair and take a deep breath in the hopes of it being soothing. Or answering all your questions. It does neither. You have no answers and more stress.

This went beyond two men pretending to do your job now. Those guys were driving around in a car with fictional license plates. What was this? Some weirdly immersive cosplay? Was that something Sam and Dean did in the books?

Even so, those two guys weren’t roleplaying at comic con, they were actually in that woman's home. If you hadn't arrived they could have done anything. They could be doing anything now.

There's a ding from the kitchen which means the frozen meal you’d thrown in the oven is ready. Not that you stop thinking about this while you go and grab it because the more you think the less sense everything makes. Like why is a narrator who, until now, was obsessed with those guys, so very silent all of a sudden?

Back at your desk with hot food, you head back to google to see if you can buy these books anywhere because knowledge is power. Unfortunately, not even Amazon has copies. It’s only when you add the term “ebook” to your search do you find a Tumblr blog with links to download all the files, split into two categories. Published and unpublished. There are a lot of Supernatural books and from the looks of it there’s an equal amount of drama over how the unpublished ones got out.

You start downloading them without consciously making a decision to read them. Downloading kind of happens because your macaroni cheese is too hot for your mouth to handle yet, and your hands still need something to do. Besides you didn’t necessarily need to read all of them, if they were truly terrible you’d delete the files. No harm, no foul. But if this was the only way to get answers then you and your kindle were going to be pretty busy this weekend.

“Morning Laura.” Nobody likes Mondays, yet you have a little bounce in your step having made your usual green tea, got dressed, and driven to work in complete and utter silence. In fact, you’d heard nothing all weekend. The caveat was that, yes, you’d spent all weekend reading those books.

You liked reading and without discrimination. Trashy romance novels at the airport? You betcha. Fantasy books thicker than your mattress? Sure thing, order a pizza. But a mystery? Well, those were your favorite. Of course, the detective needed some sort of sketchy backstory and there had to be a fishy amount of red herrings. Most importantly there had to be something to solve. It was an elevation of your day to day life and you always get sucked in. In your job, you try to solve the most benign mysteries; people faking insurance claims. More often than not there isn’t even a mystery to solve, someone really did slip and break something. So, a mystery that grabs you out of nowhere is like a promotion for you, a challenge.

That had been how those Supernatural books had dragged you in. Ghosts and ghouls you could take or leave, you might have stopped reading if that’s all there was. Then this Carver Edlund went and put in that damn side plot about their missing father. It was too enticing, addicting. From the cryptic disappearance to the indecipherable journal of clues. John Winchester would be the death of you.

Or case 24-01 would be. The jury was still out on that.

And now it’s Monday. You’ve heard nothing more from the voice in your head—it may have been a low-level case of carbon monoxide poisoning—and the boys are so close to figuring everything out you can taste it. Technically they know John is alive by now, you finished Shadow some point yesterday afternoon and felt yourself choke up at the emotional goodbye with a father they just got back. But they still have no clue what he's up to, which is a hideous funhouse mirror reflection of your own life. Hopefully, by the time they figure out John’s game plan, you'll have your life figured out too. And fingers crossed figuring everything out will involve staying alive as well.

“You look like you’re feeling better this morning.” Laura is her perky self, always a little too happy for this side of 9am.

Oh right, you went home sick on Friday. You should remember things like that. “I think it was a bug or something I ate maybe.”

“Sure, sure. One of those convenient Friday bugs.” She winks at you.

If she accused you of that say, last week, you’d have laughed it off given that's a thing everyone has in common; trying to skip out on work. So, that's what you try to do this side of the weekend. You push out something that hopefully resembles a regular person's laugh like you’re in on the joke. You have to fake it because you’re still thinking about Providence. The book you’d finished that morning instead of watching the news. You’re still wondering if Sam is starting to move on after Jessica. 

Needless to say, you understand now. The many fan blogs and the artwork you’d glanced at before you started reading. All those things that you’d disregarded as an unhealthy fascination for a bunch of books. Now you’re one of them, obsessed. Walking into the office with your kindle tucked in your bag and Salvation just begging to be read.

This goes beyond finding John. That plot got its hooks in you but you’ve known John was alive since Home and you’re still reading. You could also blame this on your general love of reading except it goes beyond that too. Honestly, it’s hard to pick one thing. They’re really great books. Sam and Dean have such turbulent lives but they still have each other. They’re snarky, lost, angry, and caring. They’re both so different but the sibling relationship is so real. And the stories go beyond a new monster every book, there are these huge interesting story arcs that you couldn't stop reading if you tried. John Winchester had been the first example of these addictive plot points, but not the only one.

“Y/N?”

You snap your head up, “sorry, sorry.”

“I was only saying you’re going to be here all day then, lunch?”

Even though Laura must see the decision on your face she still pretends to hope until you start speaking. “Actually I have a lot to catch up on so I’ll probably be working through. Tomorrow?”

She smiles brightly and nods, “sure thing.”

As bad as you feel about lying to Laura she has presented you an opportunity. Everyone thinks you were sick on Friday. They even think you're behind on your work and they don’t know you’ve already conducted the initial interview. Which makes your decision to sit at your desk and prop your kindle up next to your screen even easier. Nobody would notice the difference between you concentrating or reading. If you skip lunch you might be able to get to Bloodlust out of the way too.

Continue to Chapter 4.

5eva tags: @divadinag @darthdeziewok @fluentinfiction @witch-of-letters @supernatural-teamfreewillpage @magnitude101999 @alexwinchester23  Dean babes: @thewinchesterchronicles @akshi8278​ @bloodydaydreamer StrangerThanFiction tags: @jaylarkson

[stainedglassgardens]

Read in April 2021

Irmgard Keun, Gilgi, One of Us

Andrea Levy, Small Island

Elsa Dorlin, Se défendre

Elaine Castillo, America Is Not the Heart

Octavia E. Butler, Fledgling

Sofie Hagen, Happy Fat

Amanda Leduc, Disfigured: On Fairy Tales, Disability, and Making Space

Maggie Nelson, Jane, A Murder

Maria Fernanda Ampuero, Pelea de gallos

Currently reading

Ursula K. Le Guin, Earthsea: The First Four Books

H.G. Wells, The Great Science Fiction

I can’t imagine the impact Gilgi, One of Us had when it came out in 1931 in Germany. I know the author, Irmgard Keun, was a badass. And I think I enjoyed the book up to a certain extent, it’s just that it’s hard to read this as something other than a document of its time. Definitely read this if you’re interested in this time period, but otherwise I’d say pass.

I’ve read two Andrea Levy books before, both quite good, but really Small Island is better by far. It is so ambitious in scope, all the characters have distinct voices with interesting stories of their own which intersect with one another perfectly, it is just very, very well written, and never dull or too didactic. Strongly recommended.

I picked up Se défendre because I read an interview of Elsa Dorlin somewhere and liked what she had to say. It was certainly interesting although some of it went quite far above my head to be honest. Still, a thought-provoking read on the many meanings of self-defense.

America Is Not the Heart is, with Small Island, another one of those books with astounding breadth and depth. This one about the Philippines and Filipino immigration to the US, also about community, queer love, family, politics, and so much more. I loved it.

I don’t know why people think Fledgling is good?? I loved Kindred and that is the reason I read this but I was so disappointed. It’s basically a vampire book that is supposed to be “genre-bending” but I wasn’t that impressed with what Butler brought to the table. I also found the book badly written, very dull in passages (this never-ending trial...). And then there’s the elephant in the room, the fact that the main character looks like a ten-year-old and has sex with adults. I get that she’s supposed to be a fifty-year-old vampire who only looks young, but that’s still... very disturbing to say the least.

Happy Fat is a very good book, very funny, and works well as an introduction to fat activism also. It made me discover Sofie Hagen’s comedy. She’s very good!

Disfigured is a very good book about disability and the way it is represented in fairytales. It is part study of classic fairy tales, part memoir. Very moving and thought-provoking.

I read Jane: A Murder in a few hours. I shouldn’t like the way Maggie Nelson writes, it’s really not my “style”, but somehow I really, really do. This book about Nelson’s aunt’s murder before Nelson was born is raw, shocking, moving.

Pelea de gallos was my first book in Spanish in years. (And I’m quite rusty, I have to admit.) Some of the stories in this collection are amazing, and all of them are very good. Shocking in a good way. They explore the nooks and crannies of human souls in a way that only good short stories can. I’m thinking I should reread this in translation at some point?

Me and my boyfriend are still reading Earthsea. We finished The Tombs of Atuan in April and got started on the third book. I liked the second book more than the first, which is a good sign, although I still enjoy Le Guin’s other books more (The Dispossessed, The Word for World is Forest).

The Great Science fiction is a collection of four novels and eight short stories by H.G. Wells. I’d already read The Island of Doctor Moreau when I purchased this. This month I read The Invisible Man and The Time Machine, both spectacular in different ways. I really enjoy those types of stories, they seem like precursors to John Wyndham in many ways, and they’re also the kind of stories I have been writing, or hoping to write, these days. I’m excited to read The War of the Words and the short stories in May.

I’ve got four recently-bought books left on my TBR:

Please Kill Me, Legs McNeil and Gillian McCain

the second volume of the diaries of Anne Lister

Homegoing, Yaa Gyasi

Chelsea Girls, Eileen Myles

After that I might have to buy others? I probably shouldn’t. There are other books I’ve had for longer that I still have to read, not to mention that I should get on to my third rereading of this year. We’ll see.

*

Be my friend on Goodreads!

[newgirl-inthecity]

Quarantine Diary!

Day 1

“What’s the best part that sets the tone for the day - Your dreams”

It was Sunday and I got up with a fantastic dream...Well isn’t it amazing that I thought I had the best sleep along with the best dream! I actually saw myself in Singapore and I was in a party and I couldn’t believe, that, was the house I was staying in. I’m quite realistic in my dreams, so that wasn’t my house and that wasn’t my party but I was invited to it and the grandeur of the party was simply breathtaking.

I remember looking at the candles after the party was over, the long tables, the large lawns, the huge mansion and my friend who was hosting the party! And the breeze.. I always remember breeze in my dreams. Its like the breeze whispers into my ears, “today is going to be your best day ever..” And I wake up!

So I’m thinking that what can make my day best so I turn on YouTube to find the best recipes for risotto. Cooking actually takes me to that happy place! Fresh ingredients, fresh herbs, fresh veggies crunch, it is just marvellous. I planned my day to go buy veggies, bread, cheese! And suddenly I remembered that first I have to do the blood test and send reports to my Dermo Dr. So, my perfect day started with a blood test and then I impromptu decided to meet my clone! Well, every coin has 2 sides.. this clone is my other side! Why I call her a clone, coz we r inseparable but since completely opposite, she is always on the opposite side of my everything!

So I go unannounced, as always and find Mo talking to her sister And suddenly I find myself deeply engaged into this extremely interesting story of the Queen and the other Royals. Some people have a gift of narration! It’s the same set of words that you read on WhatsApp messages but some people can actually turn that into entertaining stories! So here I was, talking of some memes along side of the story and fidgeting with cream I recently gifted. And Out loud I said,” it doesn’t smell so good, in fact it doesn’t smell at all, it has no aroma!”

I try to smell it again and even tried a perfume and then got scared.. I just couldn’t smell anything... nothing at all! Mo gave me Camphor to smell, and by that time I understood that something was wrong! Mo was paranoid and thought I was fooling around but I wasn’t. And I had so many questions on in my mind..

Left from there went straight to the lab and did my test again! Have you ever felt the “why me” kind of feeling? I only had three words in my mind ‘shit shit shit!’ Not today! This was supposed to be my best day.. Please, please, the test results cannot be positive. God, just do something! tell the test that it is the cold that has blocked my nose and that’s why I’m not able to smell anything.

I checked the results every half an hour and finally, there it was! Well it was my best day, supposedly, coupled with the positivity so here.. this is what the report had to say

“Covid positive!”

Day 2

“What sets you apart from everyone else - Your Attitude”

So it is quarantine time. Last night after I informed everyone about the report, my mind suddenly calmed. I felt as if the judge has announced the verdict that I was guilty and I was to be sentenced for a 14 day lock-up. It’s funny that all the anxiety, all the fight to prove yourself is only till or before the verdict. After it is declared, there is calmness. Literally nothing else that you can do, other than, accept and move on.

So the next day morning, I decided to plan my seclusion, starting with my parents and then me. I got the house sanitised and checked in for others well being. I understand the reason why the judge found me guilty. We rarely feel the guilt for our own doings, till the time it doesn’t affect anyone else but the moment it does, that’s where the guilt part rushes in. I was at my friends house when I found that I lost the sense of smell and though I was barely there for 20 mins and just sat at one place and did not touch anyone. More than half the time, I was wearing the mask I still could not get over how much I would have put the entire family at risk.

My phone was buzzing with numerous WhatsApp messages and calls from my close friends and family. Some of the messages were quite funny they only said, “WHATT?” &”REALLY?” Nothing after that, it was the only message they sent!

The rest of the calls and messages were genuine concern calls. Well some of my friends were deeply hurt for seeing me unwell and some of them thought this might be a good break for me to recover from the excess limits I put myself through. One person I really wanted to talk with was my personal doctor, Gauri. It’s funny that I have such faith in her that if she would have told me that I don’t have Covid I would’ve still believed her.

So I understood all the do’s and don’ts and was all set to make my seclusion plan. Rule no. 1 was that nothing goes out from this room. Well, my room actually is a quarantine room. It has TV with Netflix, a music system, a coffee machine, music instruments, attached washroom and a balcony with the lazyboy, lots of books and my plants!

Along with the timely medicines, measure O2 levels, sleep, drink lots of fluids, there were critical instructions to drink warm water and take steam every day. So I quickly ordered the kettle and the steamer and then thought of creating and filling up my own Room service - Pantry! I also planned to make my Smoothie for the day and got my smoothie maker placed at my Balcony. I placed an order for a hot plate, so that I could cook myself some Maggi & make pasta n stir fried veggies!

My cosy little balcony has 10 books on how to cook cuisine recipes and now I was all set to make that into my mini kitchen.. It felt as if I was planning to take home vacation, away from the world, work, making sure I take care of my health of my body and my mind!

I learnt this early. You are the only one who can choose your state of mind! Choose to feel good about the time you have in hand, make most of the ordinary things in life, choose to take a deep breath & ask yourself what’s next..!

[cheshasleverage]

The Miracle Job Rewatch

Wow it sure took me a while to watch this episode damn. Also I’m gonna start putting these under read mores because they’re too long

Anyways, I think I understand why they might’ve switched the Two Horse Job with The Wedding Job, on account of it would explain why Nate is ordained and can marry off a couple without anyone questioning the validity of it

If we think about it going in the order it was supposed to though, with Nate marrying off the couple before telling the team he was a priest (or was going to be anyways) its kind of funny because that means the team didn’t care about its validity and just wanted to get the con over with

The mural in the church though, it’s gorgeous. The statue? can’t stop laughing at his little Y arms

The priest is definitely a guy Nate would be friends with, what with his humor and all

Listen I’m not religious and I know this is a running theme throughout the episode but seriously who beats up a priest, or any holy man for that matter? Unless the guys a fucking asshole I understand but come on

How did Sophie get that role? Knowing her the actual cast member dropped out or something and she jumped on the chance to play

Eliot playing Russian roulette with a bunch of criminals is somehow not as bad as watching Sophie’s play and I want to think he’s just exaggerating to get his point across but also Death of a Salesman is almost 2 and half hours long so maybe it really was that bad (either way I think Eliot needs to lighten up on Sophie)

Ok Ok, smooth Nate really smooth

Do you think Nate actually watched the play? He probably already knows the premise of Death of a Salesman so he can cover his ass if he fell asleep but the way he was watching Sophie in the first episode makes me think that maybe he is just fascinated with watching how her version plays out

First mention of Maggie, and with Sophie’s tone and with what we already know, we can kind of figure out that whatever she’s telling Nate is important and that the client is possibly connected to Nate (great writing tbh)

“You read the police report?” “Yeah, I do that.” 

The back and forth with Nate being All Business and Paul trying to get him to tell him if it had been Maggie he was talking to is very.... telling of how Nate feels about his “job” and his old life. Nate lost everything, including the wife he really loved, and now he’s driven himself into the ground trying to do anything that might distract him from what happened to Sam and his old life basically. 

I never realized before but parker has probably never actually experienced church or interacted with any religion in a....... religious way

Nate trying desperately to convince the team to help out his old friend like they hadn’t already helped out Sophie’s against the mob, or like they wouldn’t be all over it after learning some dudes jumped a priest. 

They have better hearts than I think themselves, and Nate, give them credit for

They were fully prepared for Nate! Hardison knew he was gonna start asking about who wanted the church and got signs of each place.

“I don’t do gangs” Do you think this is the episode that Hardison started to learn how to defend himself from attackers?

oof, look at how happy and proud Nate looks. That little boy was his life

This scene really drives home the fact that Hardison and Eliot have had very different experiences in life. While Hardison has mainly done cons behind the safety of his hacking and never really had to fight anyone, Eliot has done this before. He knows where gangs have their hideouts, he knows walking into their turf will draw them out, he knows they’ll pull guns or knives etc.

Side note: Eliot grabbing that dudes gun and holding it down his pants while he interrogates them? kind of hot ngl

“A specific range of efficacy” Yeah ok sure, he hates them because most inexperienced people use them in the least effective range instead of the fact that he’s probably got PTSD 

ANYWAYS DISARMING THAT DUDE WITH A HEADBUTT IS KIND OF HOT ALSO

However, Hardison freaking out is exactly how I would feel in that situation, mainly because I (and Hardison) realize that Eliot is there and after seeing what Eliot can do there’s very little chance he would let anything happen

What was that move, Hardison? Did he shove him??

Hey, at least he noticed that dude was acting weird. He’s very observant and picks up on a lot of things which helps out when he’s hacking

“Somebody’s gotta fight the injured, shoot that’s my niche”

Can we talk about how Eliot keeps looking back? Like he’s expecting a gunshot, whether it’s at the gang member or at them

God when the team is going hard against someone they really go hard. First smacking him with wood and changing his pills, then dumping his assistant on the floor to get him alone in an elevator

“You gave speed?” Hardison’s half-assed attempt to make an excuse for Parker because he did beat up a priest but also, speed?

Parker is so smart. Like, especially when she’s doing anything involving stealing but there are moments like this where she comes up with an elegant way of saying “let's ruin this dude”. 

I peg Hardison for being agnostic. Or something along those lines. Mainly because I feel somewhat similarly toward what they’re doing. Cus there’s a difference between taking advantage of someone’s greeds/fears vs taking advantage of their religion and faith

DID PARKER REALLY DRAW BLOOD FROM HIM

Sophie is vicious. I think they all are in their own way but Sophie gets next to her mark, gets cozy and they trust her and then she turns around and uses them for her con

1) Hardison is an amazing artist 

2) Eliot’s got a point because at 10 feet when you’re not moving and your target is standing still, you should have time to aim and hit it

Alright so digging in: Nate harbors guilt over Sam’s death and the falling apart of his marriage..... and his little game of cat and mouse with Sophie. He never cheated on Maggie, there may have been some flirting but he was honest and never slept with Sophie or anyone else, and I highly doubt Sophie ever tried to push him to sleep with her knowing he was married. But he still feels guilty because, well come on, one guilt piles on another and soon it’s snowballing. He’s thinking about every little mistake, whether Maggie cared about it or not, and wondering if he could’ve done things differently, how would things have turned out?

Sophie, on the other hand, knows he was honest, knows there’s nothing he should be feeling guilty about, at least not when it comes to what they had before the team. Maybe she harbors some envy toward Maggie, but she’s also in a very unstable and unsure spot. She doesn’t know where she stands with Nate personally, only professionally as a grifter on his team. And maybe she does feel somewhat guilty, but she’s trying to lessen the burden that Nate’s put on himself (not that she’s supposed to do that, and it’s another reason I’m glad the writers pushed off their romance)

You know you fucked up when the Vatican rolls up

(now I wanna see a job that takes place in/near the Vatican where the team has to avoid the Vatican and try not to get themselves smited for another fake miracle because Hardison, Parker, and Eliot booked it as soon as they heard the Vatican)

Paul really nailed Nate. At this point, Nate is an alcoholic and he’s depressed, like severely. Nate is using this team as a way to maybe redeem some part of himself, and possibly end him in a way that’s well.... it either does some good for someone or it ruins his reputation

I also wonder if Nate ever did go back before they moved. Maybe just once or twice, even if it was just to talk to Paul. 

Also very clever to use Saint Nicholas. After digging around (googling about him) I found out he’s technically the patron saint of repentant thieves

[manuscripts-dontburn]

Children of Virtue and Vengeance

Author: Tomi Adeyemi

First published: 2019

Pages: 404

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

How long did it take: 7 days

The first book was a solid beginning (if full of tropes) of an interesting adventure, which had especially its setting and cultural background as the main attraction. The second book, at first, seemed more interesting to me, with the characters aiming for the same goal but having vastly differing opinions of how to achieve it. And then, little by little, it somehow fell all apart. The plot did not advance beyond never-ending planning and the characters all either disappointed or became downright abhorrent. I sincerely hope the author will manage to pull it all together for the next instalment in the series, but she had some major job ahead of her.

The Mistresses of Cliveden: Three Centuries of Scandal, Power and Intrigue in an English Stately Home

Author: Natalie Livingstone

First published: 2001

Pages: 512

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 16 days

This is a beautifully executed book, written in a very accessible, yet sophisticated manner, and introducing characters of five very interesting women. It is rather a "bummer" that none of those women actually comes across as likeable, in case of Nancy Astor the "unlikeable" became even "terrible" at times. Still, if, like me, you were previously not acquainted with these women, the book provides a solid introduction covering all the important moments of their lives. One thing that the book failed to do though was to actually explore the house of Cliveden. Given that the house was really the only major thing the five ladies had in common, it is used as a link, but never feels strong enough and the house appears as an afterthought rather than the focal point. I suppose the enjoyment of reading this book depends on what expectations you bring into it.

Opal

Author: Maggie Stiefvater

First published: 2018

Pages: 38

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 1 day

Gorgeous writing and atmosphere, but not much to hold on to in ways of a story. A sweet glimpse of three of the characters I enjoyed a lot in the previous books

Beneath the Sugar Sky

Author: Seanan McGuire

First published: 2018

Pages: 174

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

How long did it take: 1 day

Unfortunately, I was mightily bored with this one. Even though this story is about a quest, it felt rather ... plotless.

The King of Crows

Author: Libba Bray

First published: 2020

Pages: 547

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 12 days

Review HERE

How to Be a Good Creature: A Memoir in Thirteen Animals

Author: Sy Montgomery

First published: 2018

Pages: 208

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 3 days

I give this book five stars for the sheer, pure, overwhelming love for our animal companions that pours out of every single page. This is a very simple book that does not preach or deals in clichés, it is simply a love letter to the goodness of animals and everything we can learn from them.

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

Author: Suzanne Collins

First published: 2020

Pages: 517

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 5 days

I am going to go against the general consensus this time and say: I enjoyed this book. Perhaps my expectations were already low, and to be frank I was not bothered, like many other people, that the main protagonist is actually President Snow. Oh, the book has its problems for sure! For example, I can imagine the same story being more engaging if it was not told in a strictly chronological way and it did get somewhat slow and lengthy at times. The biggest issue is undeniably that this book was NOT NECESSARY. We know how this whole story ends after all. But if you want more from the Hunger Games world, this is not bad. I did find it very interesting to see the world from the point of view of someone as cunning and ambitious as Snow. I think the author capture very well his self-serving attitude and how his inherent selfishness coloured his decisions, while all along he could always justify everything to himself and actually believe he was in the right, he was a good person. The ending was actually brilliant, even though I would have liked a teensy little bit more clarity on the fate of a certain person. So... yeah.... subjectively speaking.... I liked this. More like 3,5 than a 4 stars, but you know Goodreads.....

Clap When You Land

Author: Elizabeth Acevedo

First published: 2020

Pages: 432

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 2 days

Elizabeth Acevedo has incredible power as a writer. In snippets of thoughts rather than whole sentences, she manages to express and stir so many emotions. In this book, she once again makes you feel and makes you care. Beautiful.

Take Courage: Anne Bronte and the Art of Life

Author: Samantha Ellis

First published: 2017

Pages: 352

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

How long did it take: 4 days

Review full of hurt to be found HERE.

Station 11

Author: Emily St. John Mandel

First published: 2014

Pages: 328

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 4 days

I am sorry to say I found this a fascinating concept but the book did not live up to its potential. The parts dealing with The End itself and the Symphony were great. Anything Arthur bored me and, IMO, did not provide the story with anything profound.

Young and Damned and Fair: The Life and Tragedy of Catherine Howard at the Court of Henry VIII

Author: Gareth Russell

First published: 2017

Pages: 512

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 5 days

Given how little is actually known about Catherine Howard, I am walking away from this book with a feeling that I got to know her. Where facts are shaky or missing, Gareth Russell offers information from various sources and draws possible conclusions, which he never fails to support with logic and knowledge. What I appreciate was how unbiased he is in his approach toward the people in this story. Way too often historians let their personal perceptions colour their research and make them highlight the theories and facts which best suit their chosen narratives, but that is not the case of this book. The result is a very readable book which presents both Catherine herself and the world she knew and that shaped her in vivid colours and complexity.

The Underground Railroad

Author: Colson Whitehead

First published: 2016

Pages: 306

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 4 days

A brutal story magnificently told. The author struck the perfect balance between the terror and respite, the hopeless and hopeful, the reality and make-belief. Extremely powerful as both a literary and educational experience.

Come Tumbling Down

Author: Seanan McGuire

First published: 2020

Pages: 206

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 2 days

Yeah... well.... aside from the second volume in this series, it has been pretty underwhelming. The book cannot decide whether it is poetic and passionate or whether it wants to see everything through a bunch of snarky (and not really funny at any point) teenagers. It tries to do both and the result is just not very good. It´s.... fine. (Also yeah... I am stupid so I skipped the fourth book by accident).