#i do not like having free will in video games with many things to do
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
This post has gotten big fast. Thank you to everyone who's been supportive so far!
I want to talk a little bit about why I said piracy isn't the solution to the problem I've put forth here.
Basically, like libraries, this post isn't just about the books. Yes, the information in the books that have been, are being, and will be targeted by the Trump administration and his cronies in state and local governments is vital and needs to be available to everyone. However, what I proposed in the original post (borrowing the books, not pirating them) was for two purposes: protecting access to the books for everyone, and defending the institution of the library in the USA.
In his book On Tyranny, historian Timothy Snyder lists 20 ways to resist authoritarian regimes in everyday life. His second directive (after "#1: Do not obey in advance") is "Defend institutions":
It is institutions that help us to preserve decency. They need our help as well. Do not speak of "our institutions" unless you make them yours by acting on their behalf. They fall one after the other unless each is defended from the beginning. So choose an institution you care about - a court, a newspaper, a law, a labor union - and take its side.
Many of America's institutions are broken. Either they were from the beginning (police, the military industrial complex) or they have become so through intentional neglect or sabotage, almost entirely by the political right (social safety nets, public education, healthcare, infrastructure).
That said, if you're in America and you're reading this, you almost certainly depend on dozens of institutions just to get through the day. Do you drive on roads or use public transportation? Do you eat commercially-produced and inspected food? Do you attend or send your children to public school or publicly-funded universities? I could ask a hundred more of these insipid hypothetical questions, but you get the idea. If you live in the US, especially if you're looking at this post on the internet, you are not outside the purview of US institutions.
Lots of people will need to "take the side" of lots of institutions to keep them from getting worse - or much worse - in Trump's second term. However, I work in libraries because they are the rare US institution that I can get behind with my full support.
The public library building is the last free place. Anyone, regardless of income, citizenship, or social status, can walk into a public library and spend hours in heat or air conditioning without being expected to pay a dime. They can read books, magazines, and newspapers, in many cases in multiple languages. In my experience, many US public libraries will let you use internet on their computers and/or with WiFi without needing to have a card. Some libraries, including the system where I work, leave the free, open Wi-Fi on all night so that people who need it can use it in the parking lot after hours. Many libraries don't require a card to attend in-person educational or entertainment programs for adults, teens, or kids.
If you have proof of your identity and your residency in a library's service area, you can take books home! For free! You can probably also take DVDs and Blu-Rays home! For free! You might also be able to take home digital media, music CDs, video games, laptop computers, tablets, wireless hotspots, sewing machines, telescopes, sports equipment, neckties, or other items! For free! They have been paid for by public funds, which might include your taxes (if you have an income that requires you to pay a tax bill to the government) or not (if you don't). Either way, those items are yours to borrow and use as long as you promise to bring them back for other people to enjoy.
And as long as local, state, and federal governments don't decide they don't want you to have those things anymore.
The US public library system isn't perfect. In the past, American public libraries have actively participated in segregation, and I wish the field acknowledged this lasting harm more. I wish more systems could go fine-free. I wish the field paid better (no one should have to have a Master's degree to make a living wage). I think there are too many restrictions on who can get a library card in a particular system. Some library systems' policies are actively hostile to people experiencing homelessness, addiction, or poverty. That said, these things are improving and they are solvable - unless we can't prove that people are using our services enough to justify our expenses to political entities.
It is so, so easy to take public libraries' side in the US. Literally just use us.
It's not just about the books.
I'm already seeing advice from people in the US to purchase queer books and other banned or "controversial" books on paper as a way to combat the wave of government censorship that is coming. While this is a good idea (it is! absolutely!), it's not accessible to everyone, and truly, we're not going to be able to consumerism our way out of this one.
If you can buy the books, do. Whether you can buy the books or not, borrow them from your library.
Borrow the paper versions. Borrow the ebook or audiobook versions. Request the titles you want that your library doesn't have. The more a title circulates or is requested, the better librarians are going to be able to defend keeping it if and when it's ever challenged.
Use libraries like @queerliblib too. The more members they have, the better they'll be able to fundraise.
Your community resources depend on you using them. Borrow the books before they go away.
InB4: Piracy is not the solution here. We're trying to keep community resources available, not make sure individual people can read individual books. Different problems.
The books are still available. Borrowing them from your library and returning them on time and in good condition will help keep them that way.
#booklr#bookblr#librarians of tumblr#books & libraries#librarians#public libraries#usamerican#self reblog with commentary
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
I play video games like a normal person (lies)
#spent 20 minutes trying to figure this shit out#i do not like having free will in video games with many things to do#i end up not knowing what to do#also finding out that the open sky titan was second and not first#was very eye opening#all of my team except Quaxwell were very underleveled#mantictiger plays pokémon#pokemon scavi spoilers#pokemon scarlet
0 notes
Text
the only minecraft movie i want to see is the one i found on yt several years ago and have been trying to track down again ever since
edit: i think i finally found the video i was looking for. win
#salty talks#minecraft#seriously ive been looking for that thing for years now. im p sure it had a sequel#also just. its gonna be really interesting to discuss this movie bc theres an insane amount of competition#like. theres so much minecraft storytelling on yt. with so many genres. what is this movie going to offer#that makes it stand out makes it more worthwhile to see than these free yt narratives#bc im someone who yknow. grew up on minecraft yt once the game got going. i have seen a lot of really cool ways people#use minecraft for storytelling and leverage it in many different ways#will this movie be better than the ‘movie’ a ten year old put together in their survival world#yknow? bc theres a lot of ways you can take a narrative in minecraft. and like#its a video game movie. about a video game thats already been- millions of times- used to create stories by thousands of people#is it going to use minecraft itself better than the minecraft stories that make the experiences of playing the game central#idk. bc ive gotten back into minecraft yt and have found a handful of really good narratives told using minecraft#i personally have no interest in this movie when i have andrewgaming67 and whatever zeemyth is doing and every other#minecraft project that floats around in my youtube recommendations that sounds interesting#…will it top villager news#will it be more worthwhile to see than feuerri’s old stop-motion lego minecraft world
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
Telling content creators it's wrong to explore artistic freedom and be independently funded by fans, and they should instead continue taking advertisement revenue from google* is
NOT
the anti-capitalism stance actually.
*(Yes, google owns youtube.)
#Watcher#This post is specifically and exclusively about the people who seem to have the capitalism bit wrong#It's almost fascinating how no one is hearing themselves speak#I feel like some of you don't understand WHY we support small businesses and are anti-monopoly#I've seen multiple posts saying “Shane is so anti-capitalism there's no way this was his idea.”#So... you think it's pro-capitalism to start your own business instead of relying on pennies from the exploitative mega-corporation?#Guys... we support small businesses KNOWING it will cost the consumer more#Stop thinking you're entitled to someone's product#That's what got us in this mess#I understand $6 is a lot for many many people but that is what makes certain things a luxury#Nothing used to be this way#Nothing used to be “free” so you can be monitored for your viewing habits and sold to advertisers#If you see a little guy trying to leave youtube/google and you paint them as the capitalist??? You. have. taken. a. wrong. turn.#I don't know how many more ways I can say it#It is better to support someone (if you can) than to pressure them into taking money from the trillion-dollar corporation#so that you can have what they put all their blood/sweat/tears into for free#If you want something badly enough you're going to have to pay for it#Them's the breaks#If you don't want it that badly then maybe it didn't mean enough to you personally#Thinking otherwise is how corporations like youtube take over and squeeze out small competitors#btw on monopolies: having almost every single video content creator (outside of tiktoks and video game streams) on youtube is BAD#You understand that's bad yes?#How tf are we going to diversify unless SOME CREATORS leave youtube???#It's almost the responsibility of larger creators to do so#Ironically what I said is backwards#In its ideal state‚ capitalism is supposed to inspire innovation and new business‚ giving every person a chance to succeed#But I think we all know that's not the reality we're experiencing#I just went with what everyone means when they say it
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
this isnt the kind of post i usually tend to make (though ive been trying to be less self conscious about that kind of thing lately) but i wanted to post about a new eos playthrough ive been doing! ive always thought it was very fun attention to detail that you get unique dialogue whenever you lose in dungeons and bosses, but ive never really seen all of it before because i either just dont lose or i reset after i lose because i dont want to lose my items dfgjjd
But this is where my latest eos playthru comes in! may i present my two girlfailures nymph the lumineon and sumi the absol of team omens :] i am going to be intentionally losing in every dungeon and to every boss simply to see what happens! i have no idea if anyone else besides me is interested in this, but i figure i may as well share if anybody was! (going to put this under a read more because i get the feeling it is going to be long)
(also one thing to note i only used skytemple randomizer to change the starter pokemon to lumineon and absol, the rest of the game is entirely vanilla! the added portraits also come from the pmd sprite repository :])
i also figured id add additional dialogue options onto this too! most the time you get railroaded into picking the right option, but theres some extra dialogue regardless! this one is if you say no when the partner asks you to help (which made me feel pretty bad)
and then theres asking >Wh-what should i do?
>But you can't just...
>But I have no memory...
>But I'm sure I was a human...
(and then picking either option leads into the normal dialogue continuing)
and then theres losing in beach cave! i tried losing separately to the zubat and koffing boss battle, but the same dialogue repeated then.
i like the attention to continuity that partner recognizes beach cave as a mystery dungeon, considering theyre also the one that brings it up later to the hero :] also sumi why are You saying ow i was the one that was slowly beaten to death by a shellos (it took like 5 minutes)
next, returning boss fight dialogue!
apparently zubat and koffing get lost in beach cave, which is very funny to me considering it is literally the shortest dungeon in the game dfgjdjg makes you wonder why they even went in there to begin with....
and with that i have hit the post image limit... i get the feeling i will need to break this into a lot of posts
#pokemon mystery dungeon#pmd#pmd eos#explorers of sky#mang posts#my junk#is this a bit out of pocket from what i usually post here? yes#am i also having a good time? yes#ive been trying to make myself more comfortable with the idea of like.#just talking about the things i want to talk about on here#ive been holding myself back for many years but now i will be so autistic#and by god i Will post about my random experiments i do in video games that matter to nobody but me#i may be cringe but i am free
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
Random question about the “they should make persona for people who like good games” post. Do people think the persona series is that bad? I know they aren’t perfect but I wouldn’t call them bad games.
I had a wholeass essay written out before i realized im too tired to make it sound coherent. AND my only experience is p 4 and 5, so my opinion on it means jack shit. All i can say is that the most recent titles suffer from bad writing. (And repetitive gameplay, but thats a different issue). Be it poorly written characters and dialogue, or poorly written interactions and plot, it is hard to take some of the stuff in the more recent games at face value. One could argue that that just means the game is subpar, not necessarily bad, but thats subjective; bad means different things to different people. And i say this as someone who thinks this game is Not the best but still found it incredibly engaging and entertaining.
#chattin#i am the kind of person to write video essay length posts on games that disappointed me LOL#so i am the wrong person to ask#remember that when thinking about the quality of a game; you should ask urself#who is the target audience? is it accessible to this audience? do i need an outside source to keep up with this game ? (like a guide)#if its in a series; what does it do to separate itself from the others?#is the writing okay? characters? interactions(#?#insensitive content ?#how is it handled? the game may me okay for me but can I have my fat friends enjoy this game???#can i have my trans friends and gay male friends enjoy this game???#who can i recommend it to? my sister is unable to process all of the social links and requirements for these social links#so she just. doesnt do it. she IS the target audience bc she likes rpgs#and she likes the story and characters. but its too overwhelming#and the social links would be overwhelming regardless of the difficulty#are u meant to enjoy the game in one playthrough or across multiple runs??#is it WORTH it to do those runs? for a game that has ‘choices’ it is painfully linear#and it confuses people who are trying to follow the rules (do things in my free time to build confidants)#when theyre unable to actually hang out w confidants bc of a rush of mandatory scenes#velvet room fusions are a pain and overly complex#and the game stops being about making a good build#and it starts to become ‘make a shadow null to everything bc the game will keep instakilling you’#forcing a game over when ur main character dies is ALWAYS bad to me i will swear by this#u make more interesting builds when u arent scared of a gameover#weh. rambling#the game is as bad or good as u want it to br#people clearly love it; we talk about our faves all the time. but how many of us are replaying a game meant to be replayed. not many.
14 notes
·
View notes
Note
it makes sense of course that you would not be able to then have a down payment if he doesn't agree to it (since it's a mutual expense too) but don't you have your own money to buy stuff that you want?
Yes and no. All of my money is his money and all of his money is my money. IE we share everything, even if we have it in our 'own' accounts, it's expected that it I need something (like gas in my car) and I don't get paid for 2 days, he pays for it. Or if we need groceries and he doesn't get paid until the end of the week, I buy them. If I want to buy something not in our budget, I generally ask him for permission to do so. He usually doesn't say no unless it would be an exorbitant espense (more than $50 or so). If I want something but can only be purchased online, I ask him to purchase it for me.
This works best for us because I work part time and sometimes don't get hours at all on days I'm scheduled to come in. For example I was scheduled yesterday, but since there was only one appointment, I didn't go in. We would have a slightly different arrangement if I was working full time, but I'd still ask permission to buy things. We also are not well off by any stretch of the imagination, as the only thing that keeps us above the poverty line is his works generous bonus system. So our budgeted monthly 'fun' money that doesn't go to savings is about $30.
#he generally also asks me as well even if its just for my opinion#unless its a surprise gift for me#like he recently bought me a magic the gathering card i really wanted as an update to a deck i have#but he didnt tell me he was buying it#although we had discussed/joked about getting it i didnt think he actually would#because its just an alternate art card for a card i already have/own/use#not queued#he wouldnt do something like that on something worth a lot of money tho#the card was like 7$ and he has a TCG account so i think he got free shipping on it as well.#i also generally dont want for much#like as an example i do my own nails because i dont want them getting messed up at a salon#the only reason i get frivolous things like a massage or my lashes done is because i get it 50% off at my place of work#and its not like thats once a week#ive never been one for buying new clothes or shoes all the time and in fact have too many already so i should get rid of some#we only buy video games during christmas or summer sales#and my main form of entertainment is practically free because only one of us need a subscription for us to play d&d
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
jesus christ episode 5 of arcane was so fucking good
#i am gonna finally finish watching it#do not ask me why i havent finished it yet i dont fucking know#its so god damn good im just fucking terrible at watching things if i have free time i play video games lol#kara stop blogging#arcane#but it was so many banger scenes!!!!! SO MANY BANGER SCENES#the scene where vi spots caitlin in the brothel fuckin rizzing up a woman and vi just gives a little shocked 0_0 :)#the whole dynamic flashing back and forth of jayce being on a fucking HIGH while Viktor is sinking lower and lower into his work and illnes#the badass shots while enemy plays of the underground selling its grit#then the upbrupt stop of the music when it suddenly jumps to jayce sitting in viktors hospital room#viktor asks how long they thing he has and before jayce can answer it JUMPS IMMEDIATELY BACK INTO THE UNDERGROUND WITH THE SONG STARTING-#LIKE IT NEVER FUCKING STOPPED#AUGH#THATS GOOD FUCKING SHIT DUDE!!! THATS CINEMATIC AS HELL!!!#oh the way they portray powder/jinx's flashbacks are so fucking good. so expressive in just how much shes haunted by what happened#how her guilt manifests into ghosts that she cant escape from#genuinely incredible. what a show.#i want to watch another episode but its 3 am
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me vs FF14 part... 2?
It's taken me pretty much three full days of running from cutscene to cutscene. But I've finally reached Heavensward.
And like... on some level? I'm kind of offended?
Like, a part of me genuinely wants to replay the entire game from the start "as something else" (different main-class, different race, different starting-area, whichever), because the dungeon-queuing system is actually really fun when you start to Understand it.
As in, FF14 has somehow made an MMO that has almost eliminated the feeling that it is a level-grind? Partially? It's turned the whole thing into a surprisingly comfortable level of (limited, but genuine) social interaction.
To the point where even someone who isn't obsessively grind-focused like me, can genuinely enjoy themselves. Just queuing up for dungeons, Hunting some bounties, and-...
And then FF14 has so many fucking quests that it literally chokes the life out of the gameplay.
As an example, one of their biggest dungeon-draws (bcs high rewards) is a quest that almost everyone hates playing. Because doing that dungeon means watching literally eighteen minutes of unskippable cutscenes.
And that's with them having reduced the amount of cutscenes in that dungeon, because the players complained so much about them.
Like... I'd be perfectly happy replaying the game from the start with a different character, even knowing that leveling isn't some kind of pain-free thing. But the thought of having to restart the fucking Main-Quest? Of having to spend literal days just running back-and-forth to cutscenes?
I'm currently feeling a bit burned-out as a result of the binge I went on to get here, but I'm pretty damn sure that I wouldn't replay this fucking thing even if you paid me for it.
(And, of course, Heavensward also has a Main-Quest continuation that you have to follow. And now I'm not even allowed to fly everywhere to cut down on the "running back-and-forth"-part of my complaints. Not until they arbitrarily allow me to discover flight for the new areas, by going through even more of the Main-Quest.)
(Not to mention that now I have to go back and do even more Class-quests, with their own cutscenes, in order to unlock a bunch of skills.)
(I'm very fond of the "the church is evil because it doesn't let you fuck dragons"-meme, and I'm very much seeing it. But like... come the fuck on. Why is this MMO a feature-length movie-series? Why can't I just play the game and have fun?)
#and yes. i'm very much aware that ''you can do anything with one character''#bcs everyone gets one (1) race-changing potion. and classes can be switched out super-easily. but that's not the point.#video games#ff14#rants#personal stuff#also like... i'm unemployed and waiting for my classes to begin a few weeks from now. i have INFINITE free-time.#and i still feel like ff14 is actively trying to waste my time by ''telling a story'' that should be in a single-player game.#... actually. that'd explain a lot. did the writers of this game learn to write from single-player games?#is that why there are so many cutscenes and minor characters to constantly juggle? did nobody tell them that they were making an MMO?#(the feeling of going ''all-in'' on the genuineness in the cutscenes even when it's corny as shit? good.)#(being forced to sit through cutscene after cutscene instead of actually playing the game? bad.)#like... even just the dungeon-cutscenes? to some degree it's expected that you SHOULD skip them? bcs you're making others wait?#(and during the Raids. that means outright being left behind. ain't nobody stopping for anyone.)#so you're losing a massive bit of story-telling. bcs it's trying to tell that story in the WORST place.#it's a good story? i guess? but it's so fucking inconvenient to _play the game around_ that it feels more like a chore than an adventure.#and in a single-person game? i think it'd be great. maybe not entirely my kettle of fish. but genuinely good. but as an MMO?#like i get that a lot of it has been added onto it over the span of YEARS and that ppl playing it since launch would've been desperate#for new content. despite how the amount of content seems incredibly overwhelming for new players.#but jesus fuck. at least let people wanting to start a new character to just... skip the fucking thing? they've already seen it once.#* nevermind. they thought of that. they're selling ''story-skip''-potions for 10$. wow. just... wow.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
It continues to trip me up how much human brains are just weird organic computers
#thoughts#oni talks#oni vents#additionally wild that the easiest ways for me to explain brain stuff are generally in computer or video game terms despite the fact I’m#notoriously awful with computers (and to a lesser extent video games) although I won’t if my natural inclination would be different if I#didn’t have trauma related to computers/if maybe it’s the classic adhd interest based learning difference? unknown tbh#I still really wanna go to school to study people but academics is fucked as hell so making that work will be a personal hell for me#but also I have so many theories and data I can’t do anything super tangible with coz I’m not in an academic setting so even if i wanted to#talk about stuff and work on it no one would take me seriously w/o that academic background no matter how much effort I’d put in learning it#on my own for my entire life at this point it won’t matter if it’s not on some level acknowledged by an academic system I despise tbh#it’s one of those things that makes me miss my dad coz we used to commiserate together about these sorts of things tho he made it work far#better than I have been able to. i wish i could ask him science questions again.#anyway human brains are so fascinating but also I really wish I was better at explaining myself analysis of people I feel like I’m good#enough at this point to be like partway understood coz I’ve done so much practice on my own coz I tend to rehearse explanations ahead of tim#but its still often misunderstood or misconstrued & it’s understandable a lot of the time coz like most other people aren’t spending a ton#of their free time thinking about and researching how people work/analyzing those around them+themselves vs me whose been doing since like#I dont remember the exact time but I do remember being really young & making the conscious decision to study & analyze my family for example#so that I could be helpful & translate their words to each other better + ppl often don’t see things about themselves that others do#also forever thinking about the human brain/experience in relation to the sims & video game commands lmao#currently trying to explain save states in the human brain to ppl but no one knows wtf I’m talking about#& researching academic terms that are close to what I want doesn’t necessarily work if there’s no academic term for what I’m talking about#hence wanting to do the research myself coz sometimes it feels like there’s all this stuff that’s obvious to me but no one else?? from what#I’ve seen in recent studies they are only starting to scratch the surface of stuff I’ve already known sometimes? other stuff is older & it’s#VERY gratifying when it’s stuff I’ve known but not been listened to about & it actually gets the proper recognition#though getting ppl to actually listen/take what I say seriously is its own journey & I have to be careful myself bc I’m human so my own#understanding/data is constantly updating + I have storage issues so finding the data I have in my brain is its own struggle sometimes#every version of me is interested in people & I think that’s neat even if other people don’t understand that concept#sometimes I feel like an alien/robot whose sole task is just to study & support humanity & it’s very weird tbh
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Friendly reminder that it costs $0 to not buy a shitty, poorly-made, antisemitic game that directly funds transphobia!
#it is#in fact#free#I'm about to play an old Layton game that i haven't played in many years that i already own#and I'm going to enjoy it guilt-free knowing I'm not harming anyone by doing so#i do hope everyone who claims to be a trans/Jewish ally and plays the game feels deep shame and understands what they're doing is wrong#it's such a little thing to NOT do something#it baffles me how many ''allies'' choose to play it and even purchase it#like what is your allyship worth if it can't withstand being told to NOT BUY A VIDEO GAME#i know I'm not in any place of authority to say who is/is not an ally but tbh if you play the game I'm giving you the biggest side-eye ever#and i have seen many real trans and Jewish folks (the people harmed here) express this exact sentiment so I don't think I'm off-base#that's my stance and I'm not budging on it#some of y'all choose a few hours of glitchy ''fun'' over real people's lives and it's gross#ap#harry potter#hogwarts legacy#jk rowling
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Holo-novels aren’t novels, they’re video games
#I GUESS they can be choose-your-own-adventure novels#until I mentally framed them as video games I would always get caught up on how they know what they’re supposed to do in the narrative#holodeck load screen giving you background info like in photons be free#they get that little error noise every time they stray too far from the narrative#or like in lower decks the computer generates a different ai narrative for you#can’t call them holo video games though#holo rpg#nothing wrong with either format but you engage differently with novels and video games#but video games still have a narrative that can go in many directions depending on how you play#who controls the narrative the author or the lector#choose your own adventure books were very big in the 90s#I would always read the whole thing#how very like me to get hung up on insignificant details in the Star Trek universe#hot holodeck discourse over here#star trek voyager#sonic shower thoughts
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
It really is so sexy of me to be an art blog that never ever posts my own art LMAO
#AND I NEVER WILL !!!#HAHAHAHA#I don't exactly draw fanart nor do I ever even really finish my art so I don't have much to show anyway#I am an artist ~in theory~#I really should try drawing more stuff tho#I would enjoy drawing some of the cartoons I like I just have so many things I wanna draw that I end up drawing nothing#like rn I'm bored and feel like drawing but at the same time I'm too bored to do that I kinda wanna do like anything else#but I'm too bored to do anything else either so I'm kinda just doing nothing#maybe I will play a video game of some sort#I need something a bit more proactive to do cuz of the levels of boredom I'm at#anyway I've kinda given up on this being an art blog like it'll always be an art blog at it's core but#if I were to start making tons of art and drawing consistently again and I wanted to post that stuff thenn#I think I'd just make a new blog for that lmao I mean I already have plans to do that regardless just been too lazy#ay tho if anyone read thru this you can feel free to request I draw something#I mean look at my description you can always request I draw smth just not a guarantee I'll actually draw it#I'll think about it tho at the very least I will look at it and make an attempt#just whether I finish it....
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
God that mood where you both need to do stuff and want to do stuff but both needs are vague and have too many options so you just. Do nothing you want or need to do and realize all the time you had is disappearing. A good time!!!
#haeroniel talks#forget the tag oh well#but for real. had 4 days off work and a ton of real life stuff i both have to get done and have been meaning to get done for a long time#ive pretty much only played video games and called my friends. genuinely not time wasted and i love when i get to do that#and like rn i would love to play more games and spend time with my friends like if one offers you know i never say no#but its also already getting dark and i have to go back to work tomorrow and ive not done everything i promised to have done yknow?#time doesnt feel real and i dont wanna get up even if the anxiety slowly builds to hopefully productive panic#but in the mean time im like ugghh i wanna stop laying around just playing sudoku and watching lame youtube. i wanna play something#(unclear what it is i actually wanna play too many options i kinda wanna play all of them and none huehheh)#im also very sad i havent drawn in ages and any attempt just feels shit. like maybe if i read enough fanfic thatll respark the love.#id love to post something before christmas to get me excited to draw again over the break but who the hell knows if i'll manage#and yeah still have the annoying job related/driving school related/therapy applying/other life admin that really really should be done#im just being grouchy and stuck and need to vent hi tumblr love you all kiss kiss i wish i could function better#i think maybe perhaps. ill concede that driving school and therapy arent priority (important but ive wasted ages on them already)#i think i can do work related things bc theyre sort of fun. i can use my parents help to whack through the life admin and then#maybe i can let myself spend the rest of the evening guilt free either calling my friends and/or playing or if im going totally w drawin
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i want to fucking kill myself, everything is so fucking overwhelming, i cant begin to talk about the expanse of things wrong with me and my life at the moment, i just need fucking out i cant take this shit anymore what the fuck is there to do except suffer in this life, every ounce of happiness i grab onto is paid back with pain and grief and rage tenfold, why are things so fucking hard and why am i punished for being upset with the way things are, and why the fuck is it possible for your brain to make you feel nothing but rage, resentment, grief, apathy, and hopelessness for weeks on end with no relief but you just have to act like you arent a horrible person inside for being angry at everyone around you for no particular reason until ur brian comes up with something to direct all that negativity at and just makes it worse as you pick apart every possible reason why you might feel mad at it and come up with no real reason so ur still left with horrible feelings and no valid outlet, i hate the way i am i hate the way i am i hate the way i am i hate the way i am i hate the way i am i hate the way i am i hate the way i am
#death would be preferable to how i am now#i am now reliving and reunderstanding the deoth of feelings that made me sh and attempt so often in middle school#i almost forgot how horrible it feels#and how hard it is to resist and be normal for people#and to not cause irreperable harm to my own body over it#i just need to find a new video game series to obsess over and play for 12 plus hours a day to keep the feelings at bay#i just need a new distraction#maybe eek out my responsibilities#and them ill be fine#and ill make it thru#and something eill give#cuz somethings got to give it cant keep going like this#maybe my mother eill die and ill get her money and be free to openly transition#and maybe every single republican will die#or my partner will stop being so absent and inresponsive and bother to humor me even half as much as i do thier interests#and maybe teacher wages will gk up and i wont be living in swualor when i get into the field#so many things might change something has to get better#maybe ill magically have always been born a man#maybe ill stop being such an insufferable horrible person#i can fucking dream
0 notes
Text
Alternatives to Squishmallow
So as many of you have probably already heard, Jazwares, the company that produces Squishmallows, is donating to charities that support Israeli soldiers and the IDF. They’re also supporting Canary Mission, which has been doxxing people who speak out against Israel. BDS hasn’t called for a boycott against them, but I can’t in good faith spend my money on their products, and I would strongly encourage everyone who enjoys plushies to really think long and hard about if you want to give your money to a company that’s helping support genocide!
But the holidays are coming up, and lots of us enjoy plushies and were fans of Squishmallow, and were planning to give Squishmallows to friends and family this year.
Fortunately, there are a number of great plushie companies out there, and I want to promote some of my favorites in the hopes that folks will get their plushie fix from a source that doesn’t side with Israel. So without further ado:
Fluffnest
Fluffnest got their start on Kickstarter a few years ago, and I adore the round shapes of their PuffPal plushies! My favorite is Pete the Possum, which is probably the best possum plush I’ve ever seen. I’ve also got a beautiful moth from their Kickstarter and I’ve been wanting their bats for ages. They also recently had a Kickstarter for an Animal Crossing-esque video game featuring their plushie characters and it looks fantastic.
Squishables
I can’t get over the plague doctor plushies. They’re so perfect and cute, and they’ve released other variations of them called Alter Egos, like a ghostly version, an alien, or a really sweet cottagecore one! They’ve got a ton of variety, but what I like the most are the fantasy plushies. There’s a lich! There are dragons and demons! Cryptids! Biblically accurate angels! A lot of really fun stuff!
Also they do a lot of great charity work! Right now they’re doing an auction for the Food Bank of New York City.
AfternoonFika
AfternoonFika is a very small business of only three people, but their plushies are extremely cute. They tend to sell out fast, so I recommend following them on social media to stay on top of any restocks! They recently released a line of dinosaurs that are precious, and of course I love their iconic cactus cat and cinnamon bun bunny.
Jellycat
Jellycat has been around since 1999, so they’re the oldest of these companies. They’ve got great designs, a ton of variety, and a lot of their plushies are made to be cuddled on and not just displayed. All three of my tiny nephews sleep with a different stuffed dog from Jellycat. My mom has a sun and several succulents that she uses as decorations. There’s a little something for everyone who enjoys plushies!
If you have any other favorite companies I haven’t mentioned, feel free to add on! I’ve enjoyed Squishmallows for a while now and I’m sad to see their leadership coming out on the side that’s committing war crimes on a daily basis, but this is a good time to discover new favorite plushie companies! And remember, money speaks loudly. Even if BDS hasn’t called for a boycott of Jazwares, it sends a message when sales start dropping for companies that support genocide. It’s a small thing, but the little things we do can add up!
22K notes
·
View notes