#or my partner will stop being so absent and inresponsive and bother to humor me even half as much as i do thier interests

[this-should-do]

i want to fucking kill myself, everything is so fucking overwhelming, i cant begin to talk about the expanse of things wrong with me and my life at the moment, i just need fucking out i cant take this shit anymore what the fuck is there to do except suffer in this life, every ounce of happiness i grab onto is paid back with pain and grief and rage tenfold, why are things so fucking hard and why am i punished for being upset with the way things are, and why the fuck is it possible for your brain to make you feel nothing but rage, resentment, grief, apathy, and hopelessness for weeks on end with no relief but you just have to act like you arent a horrible person inside for being angry at everyone around you for no particular reason until ur brian comes up with something to direct all that negativity at and just makes it worse as you pick apart every possible reason why you might feel mad at it and come up with no real reason so ur still left with horrible feelings and no valid outlet, i hate the way i am i hate the way i am i hate the way i am i hate the way i am i hate the way i am i hate the way i am i hate the way i am