#currently trying to explain save states in the human brain to ppl but no one knows wtf I’m talking about

[ko-eko-ev-go-ms]

It continues to trip me up how much human brains are just weird organic computers

[arthenaa]

LOVE IN THE DARK

RENGOKU KYOUJURO X READER

Summary : Saving your life by turning you into a demon by Tamayo, she offers your services for intel to Kagaya Ubayashiki who warmly accepts the offer. You come to the Demon Slayer headquarters at night to deliver information when you bump into an all familiar Flame Hashira.

content : gender neutral, angst w fluff, canon divergent, ppl being mean bc ur a demon , u look at ubayashiki as ur father figure aw

Everything feels .... heavy.

You could remember the feeling of being cold, the smell of blood and how heavy your body felt. You tried opening your eyes, warm light seeping into the darkness. Suddenly a pair of cold hands gently hold your shoulders.

“Easy. Yushiro grab more bandages and one of my stashes from the lab.”

Your eyes slowly open, trying to focus your gaze on the woman beside you. The last thing you remembered was when a strange man suddenly attacked your family. Your oldest brother screamed at you to flee as that man bit into his arm. You could only run in fear, blood trailing behind you. You weren’t even sure if it was yours.

“W-Where am I?” You whispered. Your throat was sore and you felt like a train ran into you. The woman gently pats your forehead, a smell lulling you to a state of calmness. Another person suddenly walks into the room, carrying what you suspected was what the woman ordered. The man settles beside her as he hands her a suspicious container. 

“Drink first. I’ll explain later.” She smiles before helping you sit up. You weakly grasp for the container, surprising yourself as you gulp it down like you haven’t drank in days. You wipe your lips after but shock only fills your brain as you look down at the red tint on your wrist. 

“W-What?”

“You were almost dead, dear.” The woman mumbles as she sets the container to the side. “I had to do what I can to save you. I’m Tamayo and this is Yushiro. We found you outside our place all bloodied and near death.”

“What did you make me drink?” You whisper as you look at her with fear. The panic creeping back in. You glance towards the mirror situated at the front of the bed, your eyes were different. You felt different.

“Blood.” Tamayo gently grasps your hand. “Human blood specifically. I turned you into a demon with my own and we had to make sure that you were neutralized before feeding you.”

You could only stare at yourself as Tamayo continues to explain what happened and what attacked you. You felt empty. You didn’t feel like yourself. This woman had saved you by turning you into something that if you told someone you’d probably think you were crazy.

“I know you’re feeling confused and shocked about everything but do not worry.” Tamayo’s eyes were warm despite her cold temperature. “I’ll be here to guide you through it.”

You could only bask into the warmth of her expressions as if its the only thing convincing you that you were alive.

_______________

“This is them young master.”  A demon slayer mumbles as he goes into a protective stance in front of a raven haired man. You look at the man with lifeless eyes as you kneel in front of him.

“You’re the Y/N Tamayo spoke of, correct?” His gentle voice felt like a soft breeze that blew against your skin. This man was the leader of an organization that had its primary goal to destroy people like you. Demons.

When you were able to properly recover, you had tried your very best to make yourself useful for Tamayo. She had saved you and even kept you under her wing when you didn’t have anywhere to go to. You were mostly her errand runner. You collected the blood donations from those who were willing to give and even gathered intel on the current whereabouts of certain demons. Recently, Tamayo had been in contact with the leader of the Demon Slayer Corps. You weren’t sure what it was until Tamayo came up to you for a job. 

“You have to provide Kagaya Ubayashiki information about the locations of the Upper Moons. If possible, even Muzan. You’re under their radar so I think its possible.”

You feel the dangerous auras of the soldiers standing beside him. “Yes. I’ve done side jobs for Tamayo that require gathering information. I’ll try my best in helping you with your plans.”

Ubayashiki smiles. “Then, I’ll expect you around from here on out, Y/N.”

_______________

You had returned from gathering intel regarding the whereabouts of 2 lower moons when you heard of the existence of another demon in the headquarters. You tightly grasp the handle of your wagasa as you lean against the wall, listening in on the conversation between two Kanoe ranked slayers. 

“Apparently the Hashiras had a meeting with a member of the corps who had his sister turned into a demon. Even with the scent of blood, she didn’t attack anyone.” One slayer mentioned. You look down at the ground, surprised at the news. Even you, who drank only when needed, still salivated under the scent of blood. Which is why Tamayo had given you a handkerchief that had a scent blocker. It helped you on many occasions. 

You went on to deliver the information to the young master. You had closed your umbrella off when a sudden eerie feeling of someone standing behind you. You turned around as fast as you could, eyes widened with fear as you looked at the culprit in front of you. Flaming locks of orange and a wide eyed gaze, the Flame Hashira himself stood before you. The Hashiras were aware of your existence but disapproved of it. The master himself was the only reason why you were able to freely enter and exit the premises and with the existence of another demon in the headquarters, the Hashira felt more dangerous than ever.

“F-Flame Hashira.” You tried to mumble out as your eyes immediately looked down to the floor by instinct. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

A long silence. You could feel the cold wind of the night brush past you. The intensity of his stare prickling your skin. The man leans down causing you to look up at him.

“For a demon with superhuman abilities, you seem awfully unaware of your surroundings.” He smiles before leaning back up. You bite your lip in embarrassment.

“I-It’s because I trusted the master enough to know that I will not be harmed by your people.” You reply. Rengoku crosses his arms in a calculative stance. 

“And if I cut you down right here right now?”

You stare at him, analyzing his body language. “You’re not like that I believe. I’d be convinced if it was the Wind or Snake Hashira however you only battle when there is a need or urgency. My existence may pose a harm to your beliefs but I have not done anything to warrant your blade against my neck.”

Rengoku continues to stare at you for a while before bursting out, laughing. “I can see why the master protects you. The existence of two demons inside the headquarters are sure enough of a headache however if it grants us victory then so be it.”

He gently pats your head before walking away. You could only stare at the space he once was when you hear your once dead heart beat again.

_________________

“Your Ms. Tamayo’s informant?” Tanjiro smiles on his bed as he gently pats the small demon on his lap. You look at the gentle sleeping form of his sister before looking up at him.

“Yes. She asked me to visit you and inform her of your current state of health.” You reply. Tanjiro had asked to be moved to a private room with closed curtains so that his sister may freely move around during the day. It was currently night time but convenient since there weren’t any people around. Tanjiro nods in understanding.

“I’m doing alright. I was surprised to know that a demon had already been working for the corps. I was scared that they’d harm Nezuko but I’m relieved.” He sighs as he continues to lull his sister to sleep. “How about you? How are you feeling?”

It had been awhile since you had a normal conversation with someone other than Yushiro or Tamayo. One that didn’t involve demons and slayers. One that asked how you were too. You gently chuckled at the question while the young boy tilted his head in confusion. “I’m doing alright. No need to worry about me.”

Tanjiro hums before grinning once again. “Rengoku-san mentioned you once in passing. He visited me a few days ago, curious about Muzan’s whereabouts I believe and then he said, “I do remember a person who also visits during the night. I believe you’ll be well acquainted with them. They are quite adorable.” Word per word!”

Tanjiro looked quite proud of himself for remembering the ever energetic man’s words but you could only look at him as if he had grown another pair of eyes. “He … called me adorable?”

“Mhm!” Tanjiro hums. “He said you reminded him of a turtle I think? Or was it a dog …. “

Certainly enough, you could feel a phantom heat surge through your cheeks. You stand up from your seat, bowing towards the siblings. “Take care, both of you. Thank you for the opportunity.” Then you bolted out of the room, leaving the young slayer in confusion.

________________

You could feel the death stares of two Hashiras stabbing the side of your head. 

Ubayashiki had encouraged you to join the meeting as you had valuable intel to share. He had called the Flame, Wind, Snake and Water Hashira over for a debrief. They hadn’t expected you to join.

“We can do well without a demon informant. For all we know they could’ve been an informant of Muzan too.” The Wind Hashira, Sanemi grumbles. Obanai grunts in agreement. You try to make yourself as small as possible on your seat beside the door. 

“This demon is a valuable asset to our plans. Most of your missions and the information we gathered are all thanks to them.” Ubayashiki calmly replies. 

“With all due respect Oyakata-sama, I agree with Sanemi. They may have contributed a lot but we’re almost done with our plans. We have to discard this method now before anything goes wrong. We don’t even know if they’re under the control of Muzan.” Obanai responds. The Water Hashira stays silent but with the amount of experience you had in knowing body language from gathering intel, you knew he was on their side. You glance at the Flame Hashira who still had a neutral expression. 

“Tamayo had assured us that there is no influence of Muzan on Y/N and so far, they have not exhibited behavior that would allow expulsion or harm from our side.” Ubayashiki argues. The young master glances at Rengoku who has been uncharacteristically quiet the whole time. “Kyojuro? Your thoughts?”

Your head bows down with a feeling of dread down your neck. Somehow, you were afraid that Rengoku would take their side. Your fingers grasp the fabric of your pants tightly.

“They’ve proved themself useful so far and we’ve come such a long way because of them. I don’t think it would be wise to remove them.” Rengoku looks at you with an uncertain emotion in his eyes. You look up at him in surprise. 

The three scoff in silence while the young master smiles. “Then the matter is solved. Onto the main course of this meeting. Y/N?”

You let out a shaky breath. 

Why were you glad? You knew that ever since you had turned into this, people would treat you differently and yet the warmth that evokes from Rengoku made you feel normal again. Once the meeting had ended, Kagaya had asked you for a short talk. The Water Hashira had remained to keep watch of the young master but far enough for both of you to talk. You stared at the cup of tea that one of his children had offered you.

“Has everything been faring well for you?” He asks as he gently raises his cup to drink. You gently hum in response. He smiles before placing the cup down. You stare at his features, taking note of how his illness had begun to spread. It only felt like yesterday when you met the young master, eyes still clear and his expressions less painful. “You worry for me.”

Your eyes widened. “How did you-”

“You always stay quiet when you observe. You take your time and then you make your move.” He mumbles as he looks to the open space to the side of the room where the garden is situated. A breeze flows past him, his raven locks gently moving back and forth.

“It’s spreading faster.” You bite your lip as you begin to acknowledge the feelings of fear. You had grown rather attached to the man who sits before you. Not in a close type of way but just his existence. It calms you the same way your father did. Losing him felt like you were losing family once again. “I-If we could just ask Lady Tamayo and the Insect Hashira then-”

“Y/N.”

Your body tenses at the stern tone. You look up at him hesitantly but the man only flashes you with a soft smile. 

“It’s best not to worry about the impossible. It’ll only confuse you even further.” Ubayashiki smiles. “Live your life, Y/N.”

____________

“Ah, the informant. We meet again!”

The Flame Hashira himself had yet again appeared before you. Just like your previous encounter, after gathering intel you had visited the Master’s headquarters to deliver the information. When you turned to a corner, it took you by surprise to see the flame user. 

“Lord Rengoku.” You bow in respect. The Hashira laughs softly.

“No need for that. You make me sound like I’m my father.” He smiles. He looks out at the night sky. “I know you’re on your way to deliver information. May I be granted permission to escort you?”

You sigh before nodding. It was no use in saying no to this man. His entire existence seemed impossible to say no to. The Hashira gleefully walks beside you as you both make your way to the Master’s chambers. 

“Forgive me for asking but why do I always see you here at night?” You glance at him curiously. He hums softly, thinking of his answer.

“No reason really. I just like to make rounds during this time. Keeps me alert.” He replies. You nod in understanding.

“How about you? You always seem to carry an umbrella around but as far as I know you gather information when the moon is up.” He asks. Your hand feels heavy as you hold your wagasa in your palm. 

“It’s also my weapon. It makes using my abilities easier.” You reply with a gentle smile. When you first discovered your demon art, it surprisingly harmed you. The power to wield frost really got out of hand as you’d almost freeze a room or someone by accident. Even yourself. Yushiro attested to this. Yushiro and Tamayo helped construct a medium that would help you control your powers. You were really grateful for them helping you out.

Rengoku stops in his tracks causing you to stop as well. Just like in your first meeting, he had begun to stare at you again. “Lord Rengoku?”

He lets out a breath as he brushes a stray strand of hair that fell against your cheek. “You don’t look like one.”

Your breath hitches. “Huh?”

“You don’t look like a demon.” He mumbles quietly before moving his hand back. Your eyes look up at his unreadable face. You wanted to ask more. Why did he say that? What did he mean? But all of that was cut short when one of Ubayashiki’s guards had called you. You both spend a few minutes of silence together before Rengoku bows slightly then leaves. Once again, you stare at the space where he once was, unable to grasp the intentions of Rengoku Kyojuro.

_____________

“I’m here on Oyakata-sama’s orders.” You stand before Kanao, the Insect Hashira’s tsuguko. She had been guarding the front gate, wary of your arrival before finally letting you in. You had been here in direct orders to deliver a sample of an antidote to Shinobu herself. The Insect Hashira was working all night so this was a perfect chance to accomplish what you had been ordered. You entered the Butterfly estate with hesitant steps. The woman who ran this household had used her medical expertise to give demons the most painful death possible. She was one of the people you didn’t want to be on the wrong side of …. Although technically you already are. Kanao leads you to a living area where three young girls greet you. 

“The Insect Hashira informed us that you’d be visiting with the package! She’s not here right now but she’ll be arriving soon. We were tasked to deliver this to her room.” One of the girls said. You nod before carefully giving the sample to her. “We’ll be right back.”

The three of them run off to deliver the package leaving you with Kanao. You spare a glance to the young tsuguko who only stares ahead with an unreadable look. Both her and the Insect Hashira have the same expression. You were about to comment on it before a loud shatter is audibly heard from where you are. Kanao flinches in worry before dashing off to where the sound is. You follow carefully from behind, curious as to what happened. Before you could see what it was, the familiar scent of blood began to waft around you.

Oh no.

Sweat begins to form against your forehead as you lean against the wall, hands trying to grab the handkerchief. You couldn’t find it. Where is it? Where the fuck is it-

The smell begins to grow stronger and saliva begins to build up in your mouth. You look up at the scene before you and your eyes grow in shock. One of the girls had broken an empty vial since there was no evidence of spilled liquid around, injuring their hand. The other two had the injured girl wrapped in their arms in a protective stance as Kanao stood in front of them, sword unsheathed. 

In such a short amount of time, they had turned against you.

You felt disgusted by yourself.

You tried to explain yourself when a sudden burst of force knocked you towards the wall. You couldn’t even process the second it happened. A sudden rush of pain bursts through your arm. Your arm had broken and the wall behind you had been damaged by the force. You grunt in pain as you try to understand what happened then you see it. You see the dangerous glint in his eyes. The Flame Hashira was suddenly in front of you, blade turned towards you with a hostile stance. You knew that if you had tried to move, you would be dead.

You could feel yourself choking up the feeling of pain and sadness. He looked at you differently now. Moving as slowly as you could with a broken arm, you bow with your head against the floor. “I-I do not have any intentions of harming anyone. Please forgive me.”

There was no reply. They do not trust you.

With a shaky breath, you decide if this is where you’ll die then so be it. “If you wish to strike me for my behavior go ahe-”

“Stop.” The gentle voice of the Insect Hashira had startled everyone in the room. You made no moves to lift your head from the floor. Rengoku glances at his comrade before lowering his sword. “What are you doing here, Kyojuro?”

The girls slowly become less tense as they see the head of the estate. Rengoku smiles at Shinobu. “I was sent here to come get you once you were able to receive the sample. Seems like I was too early.”

Shinobu nods before glancing at you. “Leave. You’ve done your job.” Then she turns to her apprentices. “Come. I need to patch Aoi up and talk to the four of you. Wait for me outside Rengoku.”

You nod before moving yourself up and trying your best to bolt out of the estate as fast as you can. As you walk down the step of the stairs, a hand grabs your wrist. Smelling the familiar scent, you don’t turn around. 

“I’m sorry.”

You look back towards him with a sad smile. “It’s alright. I’ve learned to accept the moment I turned into this that I’d always be faced with hostility. You acted because it was your duty.”

You pulled your wrist away from him before disappearing into the night, failing to notice a sad pair of eyes lingering on your form. 

_________________

It was done. It was finally finished.

What you all had worked so hard for.

Muzan was dead.

And aside from that, Shinobu and Tamayo had been able to create an antidote that turned demons back to humans. You had helped in delivering the antidotes to all those who had been affected. There were many losses but now the air felt lighter. 

You place a bouquet of flowers on a grave before making a short prayer. A breeze of air brush past you, gently tousling your hair. You had missed the feeling of the sun against your skin. You stare up at the cherry blossoms moving against the wind, a gentle smile on your lips. 

“You still seem to be quite the same, you know?” A familiar voice startles you from your peaceful reverie. You look to your side to see a familiar face. The face you’ve grown to miss so dearly. You had sobbed so much when you saw his injured form rushed into the Butterfly estate. After losing an arm, he still looked quite handsome. He places another bouquet of flowers beside yours, looking down on it with a gentle smile. “He sure is proud of what you’ve done.”

You both stare at the Ubayashiki family grave in silence, allowing the sounds of nature to do the talking. Your comfortable silence was then cut off when Rengoku clears his throat.

“I’m still sorry for what I’ve done back at the estate. I really should’ve just tried to understand the situation. I knew you wouldn’t do that and yet-”

“Rengoku.” You smile. “It’s alright. It hurts but I understand why you’ve done it.”

He nods, still not quite convinced that you’ve forgiven him. You laugh softly at his expression before holding his hand. “You really made me feel normal through all the times we interacted. I’m glad we had the chance to talk.”

He smiles. “Me too. I felt like I was just a normal guy talking to you. I strangely didn’t see you as a demon.”

“Well I’m really not a demon now am I?” You squeeze his arm in a joking tone. He laughs at your joke before silence ensues between the both of you again. You stare at each other with a fond look. 

“If I knew that all of that would come to this. I should’ve taken the chance to get closer to you.” Rengoku whispered. You tilt your head in curiosity.

“What do you mean?” You replied softly. Rengoku steps closer, brushing a stray strand back against your ear. He smiles.

“Will you allow me to get the chance to know you once more?” He presses a soft kiss on the back of your hand. “Properly this time.”

Your cheeks heat up at the gesture before nodding. “I would love to.”

This time you knew that you wouldn’t have to hide in the dark anymore.