#i do not expect judas to be a good game

[jeff-the-innkeeper]

might go absolutely feral and create the fandom wiki for judas cuz the brainrot is running deep into my spinal cord

[intoxicated-chan]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟔 ║ ❝𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐇𝐢𝐦 𝐁𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐇𝐞❜𝐬 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐝❞

(A/n) ➳ I love FF7 Rebirth but the lack of Biggs screentime breaks my heart. Anyways, I’m gonna be writing for Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Biggs (Final Fantasy), and the Witcher characters (Games), so you can expect content for them soon.

Word Count ➳ 1.2k

Content Warnings ➳ Heavy swearing, mentions of intercourse, mentions of marriage, criminal records, jealousy..

JUDAS Masterlist

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!”

You shot out of bed with your blood pumping, hands spread out to put some distance between you and the intruder only to see Lori standing there looking very angry.

You groaned, rubbing your face as you threw yourself back down on your bed. “Jeez Lori!” You grabbed your blanket, to go back to your warmth. “If I needed an alarm I would-”

“What is the matter with you?!” Lori snatched the blankets and threw them off the bed.

You sat back up. “What are you takin’ ‘bout?”

You could see Lori seeth, her face red, eyes wide, her knuckles white. “Shane! That’s what!”

Right… You should’ve expected it.

It has been three complete days since you rejected Shane. You never spared a thought about him since Daryl kept you focused. Not with sex, sometimes but there would be times where you both just hung around.

You didn’t have a heavy heart about Shane, in fact, you nearly forgot about him. If it wasn’t for Lori interrupting your sleep, you would’ve continued on with your life.

Lori stuttered over her words. “W-Who’s shirt is that?” She demanded to know, pointing at the sleeveless gray shirt you wore.

“It’s mine.” You rolled your eyes and got out of bed, walking out of your room.

Lori followed right behind you and into the kitchen. “(Y/n)! Did you really reject Shane? Do you know how much that man loves you? How committed he is to you?”

“Yes!” You spat out. “And I don’t want it! I never did!”

You grabbed the coffee can to make some much needed coffee, placing a new filter and scooping the coffee into it.

“What is wrong with you?” Lori snatched the can right out of your hands, but you remained neutral.

You closed the lip and turned on the machine, hearing the water boil. You wanted to shout again, but you took a deep breath. Your hands clutched the counter tightly, watching the coffee drip into the pot.

“There’s nothin’ wrong.”

“He’s a good man (Y/n)! He would be a good husband and father-!”

“Then why don’t you marry him, Lori?” You shot back. “Cause you used to ogle him back in highschool!”

The shock was clear on her face even if you didn’t face her. You knew by the silence for a couple moments.

“That’s different!”

“Is it now?”

“Look (Y/n), Shane is a good man and he’s good for you. Not that biker guy.”

You froze. You felt your heart drop. “...How did you even get in here?” You tried to recover.

Lori shook her head, grabbing your shoulder to make you face her. “You still have time to fix this. Go and tell Shane that you didn’t know better!”

“I’d be lyin’ to his face and will be lyin’ to him for the rest of his life.” You told her, shrugging off her hands. “How would you feel if Rick lied to you for your entire marriage?”

“You would throw away a perfect man over a stranger?”

“Yes.” You answered without hesitation, looking straight into her eyes. “And I’d do it all over again ‘cause I don’t love him.”

Lori gave you a hard shove, knocking you back into the counter, the edges digging into your back with a sharp pain.

She pointed at you angrily. “You’re gonna regret this and none of us ain’t gonna be there to help you.”

“His name is Daryl, he has a brother named Merle.”

“Which one rides the bike?”

“Daryl! It was so cool! And his jacket!”

It was easy to get Carl to tell him what you told him, even though Carl promised to keep it a secret, the boy did love his comic books and games.

Rick whispered the names as he looked through records of those named Daryl and Merle, it was quite easy. There aren’t many named Daryl and Merle, especially if they share the last name.

He had to pull a couple of strings to get the information but once he was sure which Daryl was, he printed the brothers��� information, intent on showing Shane and you.

Daryl Dixon and Merle Dixon.

There was nothing hard on Daryl but Merle was a different story, it should be enough to convince you to not be involved with a man like Daryl.

And if you stayed, then you’d be stuck with a criminal brother in law.

You allowed Rick to enter your apartment, he could tell it was tense, might’ve because when Rick woke up, Lori was gone. He had everything printed and put into a folder.

But you were in no mood to entertain his opinions of Shane and his disapproval of your choice. “I don’t wanna hear it, Rick.” You snapped, your resentment with Lori was still fresh in your mind. “I’ve had it with all of you.”

Rick held up a hand, trying to calm you down. “I understand that but you gotta see the truth. That guy isn’t who he seems to be.”

You wanted to shatter the mug in your hands. First Lori learning about Daryl and now Rick? “Just-!” You wanted to shout at him as well. “Just… I don’t care, I don’t want to know anythin’. Nothin’ at all.”

But Rick didn’t listen, he tried to push the folder into your hands. “At least look. It might change your mind.”

You had enough. Your patience was gone. You screamed, smacking the folder out of his hands, the papers scattering across the floor.

“Why can’t y’all listen to me?!” You exclaimed. “I’m tired of everyone tellin’ me what’s right for my life!”

With that, you too pushed Rick. you pushed him out the door, ignoring his pleas to listen to him and read the papers. You slammed the door behind him, hands trembling.

You kicked the papers under your couch and marched right back with your room, you were tired. You called in sick for work and decided to order in.

Rick found Shane sitting at his desk, he was in no state to work but he refused to leave, and no sleep was getting to him. Shane had been on edge ever since the fate, and Rick’s finding didn’t do him anything better for him.

“What did she say?” Shane questioned, his gaze not looking up from his reports.

“She… She’s pissed, it seems she had enough of all of us.” He dragged a chair to sit next to him.

Shane’s jaw clenched, his grip tightening around the pen that he clicked. “Dammit Rick. I told you years ago that she’s always gettin’ with the wrong kind of people. Now look at her now.”

“I-I think it’s best you leave her for a couple more days, she doesn’t look well.”

Shane shook his head. “That fuckin’ redneck is gonna ruin her, none of y’all see it.”

“You say you care but-” But Shane left his desk and stormed to the bathroom. “Well shit.” He cursed under his breath.

Shane would have snapped if he found out Daryl was over your place, fucking your brains out.

© Intoxicated-Chan 2024, I do not allow my work to be copied, translated, modified, adapted, or put on any other platform without my permission.

Taglist ➳ @deansapplepie , @ladylincoln , @gamingfeline , @lady06reaper , @alanamarie , @daryldixmedown , @celtic-crossbow , @mrdixon , @itwasntaphasema , @duffmckagansbandana , @raspberryslxt , @itsrainingbisexualfrogs , @ingstadstarlight , @gamingfeline , @lor-geeked , @thegeorgiahuntsman , @snailss , @the-lonely-abyss , @number1bashbabe , @xmaeyonaise , @suniloli , @of-storms-and-sadness , @annhells , @sexyxdylanxobrien , @yoowhatthefuck , @mylifeinthetardisforever , @let-love-bleeds-red , @virginsexgod69 ,

⊰ Chapter 5 ⊰ » » YOU’RE HERE « « ⊰ Chapter 7 ⊰

[laylaisthename]

ILW // Here they are! All 7 different end cards you can get in the many many more variations of the niche endings available in the game.

Google Drive Link to the cgs here

I am beyond honored to have been allowed to leave my own mark in the game like this, and honestly never in a million years expected to actually become involved with the game.

Everyone is fine to use these as phone backgrounds but if you do youre legally required to tell me which one is your favorite.

Putting it under the cut for length, but here's a breakdown of each card;

Starting with the Evil!MC end cards, that are lovingly dubbed Judas' Kiss if you stayed with Matty, or Scorched Earth for MC's solo end.

The images really mostly speaks for themselves; the flaming heart, hand in atrocious hand if you chose to share the power with Matthias, but then when you put it next to the solo end is where it got fun for me. The heart is broken, its just you now, but the glowing eyes are smiling. My first time testing the judas kiss route I did not hestiate for a second to hit "kill him"

Next is the death card

I really liked the idea of (if your mc wasnt a huge dick anyway) that they give you a grave outside the cave, something for people to leave Rowan flowers and gifts. A classic grave didnt quite feel like it fit so I settled on a cairn. It felt very fitting with the Power being a respect for nature and such. I set it to be at night, with moonlight streaming down on the grave to give it a melancholic sort of feeling, with the sun charm sunny gives you strung off it, and then placed flowers at the grave to kinda show that people have come by because they care about Rowan. Meanings for the flowers are below and while not canon, I like to think each of the LI's left behind one of them; red roses from Abel, blue violets from Amalia, sunflowers from Lincoln and the marigolds from Joss, though really they were all chosen more generally.

Onto the blood end card! Which I named New Horizons, and not because of animal crossing. A winding road in the mountains at sunset; the road has been long, it has been hard and now youre choosing to move on. Symbolically what i wanted this card to be is that feeling of leaving everything behind. The sun is setting on your old life as you go to embrace the normal life that Blood MC wants so much. Youre on the top road moving around the bend, not sure where life will take you but that's alright, you have the rest of your life to look forward to figure out where you'll go.

Onto my own canon end; the Mixed end!

Lovingly called "Best of Both Worlds" because mixed rowan is playing that hannah montanna life. More seriously; this card in contrast to the blood end is not about leaving everything behind, but embracing what you are. The card itself is set at dawn to contrast this; soft yellows and pinks, morning dew and fog clinging to the forest floor with a streak of Power playfully dancing among the trees. Its the dawn of a new day, seeing everything in new light after the darkness of the past weeks/years rowan spent trying to understand themselves. It's my personal favorite end even if my mc and Linc gotta do long distance for a while. But to me its about accepting yourself; moving on from the grief of losing your family without alienating yourself from your memories of them and embracing that Power side of yourself without being changed by it. The life you built after being ressurected is your own and no one can take that from you.

Next up my almost canon end, that does live rent free in my mind because I love angst.

Closed gate shadow end, Far, Far away (yes this is a shrek/starwars/nerd refrence); its a fairly straight forward card, thought it does have one of my personal favorite little details. This is the second draft I made of it after this scene from Lincoln's shadow goodbye stuck with me; looking up through the trees at the night sky.

I really wanted to hide an eye shaped constellation in the stars but couldnt make it look good sadly :sob: But my favorite little detail are the fireflies and how some of them are cyan; touched by the power Rowan is now again a part of. Not canon, but I like to think these little cyan fireflies come to sit on the LI's heads next they wander too close to the woods (Fireflies by Owl City starts playing).

Shadow end is just. Its so beautiful really. From sharing your experiences with the wisps, how Rowan's wisp has been changed by their time as a person, how despite their grief they are not sad or unhappy, melancholic yes but this is where you want to be. Its a cosmic love, the joy of having lived, coming inside on a cold winter day to find your home warm and inviting, your family waiting for you to tell them about your day. The card itself is a little whimsical, hopeful despite the closed gate that the power will forever be part of the world, even if its been cut off. And this brings us to the other shadow ending card; the flower

Eternal Bloom, a ghostly hand reaching out to hand this flower over to the world, a final gift, a final goodbye. Maybe a promise of "I'll see you soon" but first and foremost, it is a promise of love.

Thats right babes. Its all about Love. Unfading Love.

symbolically there isnt anything hidden in the card, but thats also in part of it at face value telling you all you need to know; its about love! its a gift, for you, to remember me by. You have not forgotten me, and even changed as I am, I have not forgotten you. Rowan's change in personality after merging shadow was sooooo heart breaking tbh but ITS SO GOOD. You found joy in what you were, but its time to come home, take off your coat, hang it up, take off your shoes.

And it is all about love! All these cards (well, not all of them) were for me made from the heart, trying to keep in line for the different themes each end resolves to give the players something to remember each route by.

To anyone that made it this far, let me know which one is your canon card/which card you like best! And im kissing you on the lips I love rambling about my thoughts and if you got to here then you deserve a reward. So.

[loopingpyre]

Appreciate you reading and responding regardless! Hope you can get some rest soon! And yeah when I was thinking about it last night I kinda came to the same conclusion with Sweet-P. Smaller update today and probably for the rest of the week until the weekend (work). Beat the Sun Temple. They really gave Eiji a skill with Judas in its name in the same dungeon he goes crazy in like 3 times (did not buy his kidnapping story). Eiji confidently having a definitive answer to those last few riddles in the temple were also a super red flag if the rest of his behavior wasn't already to that point. Shoutout to Ayana for being the only person to actually step in while he attacked a kid and more importantly for being so loud that Aria had no energy to blow out my eardrums today. Another banger in the OST (I love the energy and desperation in the song). Mu might not be good at a lot but she can definitely sing! Annoying dungeon layout aside, Kuchinashi was the most sympathetic musician so far and the song lyrics reinforced that. I'm super curious on how terrible the Eiji reveal will be regarding them. I like the little dynamics between everyone. Mifue and Ayana's friendliness, everyone being mean to Kotaro, Shogo being the only person to pick up on Kotono's discomfort. It's neat! Not that I expect romance to really be a thing in the game since it hasn't been so far (which I am happy about) but Ayana and Suzuna are probably the most likely yuri options if there would be any just based on Suzuna's vibes and Ayana's totally normal and justified opinions on men. Speaking of yuri, I was sad Aria and Mu didn't get to talk to each other at all. No character eps unlocked after the temple except one Eiji ep which wasn't much so that's about it for now. Hopefully, I can do the aquarium tomorrow! Been waiting for Kotono's arc. Misc thought: The character's weapons definitely relate to their trauma/personality. Eiji and Mifue's seem the most obvious but I wonder how the one's who haven't gotten any of their backstories revealed will relate to theirs. Thank you for your time!

Yay yay caligula update yay yay yay!!! Im responding to your update from work. Im feeling better thanks!

The Sun Temple layout is so funny, the worst to ever do it, but at least Eiji is there. He's a super strong character, who's basic skill is AoE and can more easily knock enemies airborne (especially compared to Kotaro's garbage accuracy). I'm glad they realised in 2 that knockdown skills arent fun and removed them.

Onboro is a favourite in the game's ost, Mu screams really good, and the intersection of all the Overdose-added character stories are very fun.

The dynamics in this game are really good, and you're able to use them to pick up on details about their out-of-mobius selves, it's So Good.

I'll be waiting with eager anticipation for your next update Anon!!

[disfrutalakia]

There's been a lot of theorizing on ElQuackity and The Eye knowing each other and the Watcher and the Traitor from the Judas book. It seems Black Cucurucho knew the Eye would hijack the Egg Island and wanted Forever to play a different game from just Purgatory teams wars to find out the "truth" about it. The Federation seems to be completely in the dark about all of these things which is interesting because they work with ElQuackity and they helped him kidnap Quackity and put him in a pool (twice I guess).

It all makes me think about why would Black Cucurucho kill Quackity. Was it afraid of Quackity saying to someone? Does it not like Quackity? It seemed fine with the other residents (manipulating them but still). Or maybe it does not like ElQuackity and mistook them? (In my opinion, killing a guy with no memories and who can't write or read is a bit much if you don't have any beef. And ElQuackity is very good at making people have beef with him.)

It is also interesting that one day before this happened ElQuackity told Forever (and Max I think) that Quackity was dead. It wasn't true then but the next day it was. Was it a coincidence or did he expect it to happen?

I think ElQuackity may be related to the Judas mission. It's so "convenient" that both of them are on the same team. And Forever was one of the few people who cared about Quackity recently but couldn't do much to help him before being shipped to the nether. ElQuackity also wanted to be president so bad and is related to protocol AB.

It all makes some very interesting character connections that still don't quite add up but we know will soon (only 1 more week of Purgatory after all).

Many have already analyzed how much of Green Team is resistance x federation. "Betrayal" seems inevitable here after all...

One of my main theories about purgatory and the island, is that they move in different times. Like maybe purgatory is ahead of the island which is why ElQuackity already knew about Quackity's death (if he is really dead, which I personally don't believe)

Now the reason why it would kill Quackity is more of a mystery, I don't think they confused Quackity for ElQuackity, but rather that he was just the wrong person at the wrong time. From the little we know about Cucurevil from Forever's nether stream, they seem to like to "play" and they certainly kept telling Forever that it was nice to toy with him but that they both wanted freedom now, so there are chances that for Cucurevil killing Quackity was nothing but a game, something to cement the way the character acts and all that.

And while I don't think team green is cursed in the way the eye wants them to be, they certainly are cursed in the ways that all of the members have very different alignments back at the island. Etoiles being with the resistance, Fit with the resistance but also having his contractor, Forever is the president but has a deal with Cucurevil, ElQuackity is ElQuackity, Roier and Bagi are completely anti federation but also don't align with each other most times (I'm talking about the members we see most often) so a betrayal is inevitable for real, like we know that at some point Forever will have to play judas, so green team is cursed not by the eye but by Forever and his determination to save his son.

[beardedmrbean]

Oh sorry about my preaching my jokes, just been tired of the meta and wendon commentary that been force onto my generation

Also like in Velma

“You these types of stories are usually about popular white guys who get more power? Well not mine!”-bitch you are doing a adult comedy from a kids franchise that supposed to be a gateway into mystery genre

Also we know you came from a white collar family and went to Darthmouth college

Also like my Chinese wizards having a cannibalism issues. The reference is the numerous sources saying that Chinese ate other humans during times of crisis and warfare

Vs modern writers who trying to subvert tropes

There a fundamental difference between a Gen x and Millennial cinemaphile who picked up on Disney animation movies tropes VS a child who first Disney movie that can remember influencing them is Encanto or coco

Modern writers completely forgot that

It also like my Judas joke with Yasuke and Akechi. I just use the historical context as Judas is the golden standard for betrayal so, depending how they executed his jesuits connections, so him calling Akechi Judas made sense.

Also another thing, Japan been the most requested setting for ac. To the point the offical Twitter made a joke about it

https://x.com/assassinscreed/status/1569400536205594625?s=46

But I recall many people said they got into AC because of the Ancient Greece and Egypt games. So I expect a lot of new blood will come in. And it seem red will be the same especially as it going to take place between the major trilogies and sagas

So naeo is going to be the ultimate shinobi fantasy we wanted. While Yasuke will be used to newcomers to explain the whole secret war. Dialogue like this

Yasuke: So the assassins and Templars, weren’t they destroyed by the Mongols and Templars burn by the French king?

A European assassin(who I would make the grandson of ezio as a callback): We are much older than our crusaders incarnations. My grandfather found records saying that Brutus and Cassius was one of us. There are even whispers that both orders can trace themselves back to ancient Egypt

Y: What that got to do with Japan?

A: It is said that an order of Xuia (founder statue was in ac2 and the mobile game Jade will focus on them) killed the first emperor of China who was supported by the Templars forerunners. This conflict have been around since the dawn of humanity. And I sense the Templars know of something that Oda founded.

Rough but this what I meant like a issue why writing

Oh sorry about my preaching my jokes, just been tired of the meta and wendon commentary that been force onto my generation Also like in Velma “You these types of stories are usually about popular white guys who get more power? Well not mine!”-bitch you are doing a adult comedy from a kids franchise that supposed to be a gateway into mystery genre

You're good no worries, and ya how do you screw up Scooby Doo, start by removing Scooby and then move on to shoehorning politics and SocJus stuff in there.

Also like my Chinese wizards having a cannibalism issues. The reference is the numerous sources saying that Chinese ate other humans during times of crisis and warfare

Not terribly uncommon honestly, there's the old law of the sea that absolves sailors of wrongdoing in case of cannibalism if starvation is the only other option and the person being eaten is chosen fairly.

There a fundamental difference between a Gen x and Millennial cinemaphile who picked up on Disney animation movies tropes VS a child who first Disney movie that can remember influencing them is Encanto or coco Modern writers completely forgot that

Gen-X is the parents of them, older Millennials too, more Gen-X tho.

Nice they listened

But I recall many people said they got into AC because of the Ancient Greece and Egypt games. So I expect a lot of new blood will come in. And it seem red will be the same especially as it going to take place between the major trilogies and sagas

New fans mean more sales so that's likely part of the plan,

So naeo is going to be the ultimate shinobi fantasy we wanted. While Yasuke will be used to newcomers to explain the whole secret war. Dialogue like this Rough but this what I meant like a issue why writing

Ya needs polish, but it's not bad either, not as a plot outline at least.

[marshmallowprotection]

Do you have any sort of oc bible or easy way to read about your mysme ocs and all their timelines and stuff? I’m interested to know more about them

I do not have an OC Bible posted! But, God knows you asked me something at the right time. If you want to read about them the fast way, they have information sheets here. But, I think you're here for more so check under the cut for everything there is to know!

(Lila Lancelot)

(Minji Cho)

(Judas)

Lila Lancelot is my main MC.

A fashionable but shy Lolita who struggles with confidence and insecurities. She's the classic example of somebody who can be so confident and loud with friends, but has such a hard time with strangers. She's twenty-one years old and has spent most of her life as a black sleep.

No matter how hard she tried to be good enough for her mother, she simply... couldn't measure up. Every step of the way, it became a game of carrot on a string. If there was a chance for her to get closer, she would get there to quietly realize she would need to keep going. Because of this, she has a super poor sense of self-esteem.

She tries to see the best in people no matter what but sometimes it can backfire on her. A lot of people would say that she's naive. That simply isn't true.

She wants people to be inherently good so she doesn't have to contend with the fact that there are some people in the world who aren't. She knows very well that some people are cruel and as painful as that is, sometimes it's easier to try to see the best in people. That can be to her detriment sometimes.

She spent her entire life being compared to her older sister, because Lucy couldn't ever do a thing wrong in their mother's eyes. But, even though the two of them were seemingly pushed against each other in a game of their mother's creation, neither of them hold that against each other or hate each other. It was a painful realization, though.

Lila and Lucy... they were always close. Lucy never wavered when their mother berated Lila. She would... make a distraction in their conversation or sway their mother to think about something else whenever she could do so.

Lila never hated or blamed her sister for the invisible line between them. She admired the way her sister sparkled. Lucy was always by her side! In many ways, Lucy was the person she could trust to take her side if something went wrong. Her sister was her confidante in every way imaginable.

When Lila couldn't go to her mother or father, she could find Lucy to talk about anything and everything that was happening in the house, at school, and everywhere else.

But, as big sisters do, Lucy, being five years her sister's senior, moved out to college and that left Lila alone with her parents. Her job in the house got worse. She spent her teens cleaning the house and being forced to stay home when she wasn't at school or work on her grandparents property in the fall. That... was the best time of year.

Her grandparents own and operate a cute little garden that is open to photographers year-round and they really put the passion in during the fall when pumpkins are about and they can build their maze! Working for them got her out of the house and she made a point of trying to go there as much as possible.

Her mother is the kind of person who expects perfection out of everything she does.

But she can never be perfect enough so the carrot on the string always feels like it'll never be given to her. Her father is the kind of person who looks away whenever her mother says or does something out of line or out of turn.

He wasn't an inactive participant in the worst aspects of her emotional abuse, but his inability to do or say anything left Lila in a place where she couldn't trust either of her parents. The more time she spent fighting to be good enough for them every day, the more exhausted and insecure she became.

Things got a little bit easier after 2 years of the same routine, if only because her sister had a fling with a friend and fell pregnant in the aftermath. Her mother focused every bit of her attention on Lucy and the baby. It was easier for Lila to focus on her classes and it kept her from feeling overwhelmed for a little bit. Eventually, Mia was born and most of the noise in the house was peaceful! Lila had the time to explore new hobbies, namely Lolita and photography! She finally had an outlet to enjoy herself! Plus! She had more time to be in the gardens at her grandparents house.

Things finally had to be moving in the right direction now... but, they were only the calm before the storm.

Lucy moved in with her girlfriend a short time after Mia was born and things went right back to how they were. The cycle had begun once again, and Lila knew she had to get out of there. She kept saving her money and squaring it away until she had a sizable amount in there to start over when she had something in mind and when it was safe to do so.

The pattern continued for two and a half years until—

Tragedy struck.

Her father died in an accident and that sent the family into shambles. Her mother was in a state of agony as far as anyone could tell... but Lila knew better than that. Her mother... kept throwing parties and inviting folks over to grieve all the time. She wanted the pity to feel better about herself. She wanted people to feel sympathetic and to offer their care in every way she could milk.

Lila hated it. That wasn't just because of the fact that she had no time to grieve or understand her pain, she was the only one cleaning and cooking for all of those events... Anytime, anywhere, if folks came over, it was Lila's job to take care of all of it for her "sad mother".

Years of being treated like a windup doll who could never be good enough finally became too much. She broke down one day in the middle of one of those get togethers and screamed at her mother with every ounce of agony she'd experienced over the years.

Her mother claimed to be humiliated and the rest of the family, sans her grandparents were all but happy with her about her actions. That... stung. She thought she could turn to Lucy to find comfort and understanding, but her big sister didn't offer that this time.

Grief makes people struggle in the worst kind of way no matter how you slice it... and Lucy believed their mother felt horrible. She got so caught up in her grief about the loss and the pain she imagined their mother to be feeling, she made the mistake of assuming that Lila wasn't being pushed to the edge during the get-togethers...

If only because Lucy couldn't come over all that often and she heard a lot of the story secondhand. Lila and Lucy had a major argument over this misunderstanding and failed to communicate the way they truly needed to.

Lila felt abandoned.

She decided she needed to get the hell away from her family for as long as possible to be able to not only grieve but be herself. So, the first thing she did was throw a dart at a map and book the first flight out of dodge. It was just her luck that it landed in Seoul, and truly unbeknownst to her, her future.

Depending on the Timeline, she can end up in Mint Eye with Ray, or she can end up as a lowly assistant to Unknown. She has a huge swathe of concepts and timelines since she has to match with Saeran or Ray!

Stories:

Flowers of Paradise is a collective series about her different timelines.

(Note: Her original story concept that was written years ago for Another Story is not her canon now. Every single story outside of Convallaria Majalis and Primula Vulgaris is canon. I need to rewrite her main story with Ray, Suit Saeran, and GE Saeran.)

Minji Cho is a secondary MC.

A girl with shimmering starlight in her eyes who dreams of owning her own café in the future. She's the kind of person you want to be friends with. She is supportive and only sees the best in the people around her. But, she isn't naive to think people aren't cruel... She knows that there are people she'll never be able to understand in the world, but she still wants to be compassionate.

She's the kind of person who thinks that the best way to somebody's heart is with a treat. For some reason, if you meet her, you might truly begin to believe that a simple fruit pie could bring out the best in another person if she offered it. At twenty-three, she's getting close to the dream she always had!

Growing up, she had a normal upbringing. Her mother, her father, and her two younger siblings... A close-knit family who is really no different than any other family out there if it comes to love and support.

Her family was comfortable and even if she didn't have everything she wanted, she had everything she needed. Her younger siblings are much younger than she is but she still loves them with all her heart. She loves to bake with them because it's the one way she knows how to bond with other people. She's just your girl-next-girl type in every sense of the word. She's got a great sense of humor to boot!

There hasn't really been a lot of hurt in her life thus far, but she wants to be able to truly understand others as best she can no matter what. The only discomfort she's ever faced in her life is mild teasing from people during her schooling years.

She's rather tall, topping out at 5'10" by the time all was said and done, but she tried to not let it get to her so badly. As a runner who loves to feel the breeze, her legs did her a lot of good! She still runs every day to this day to get herself ready to face what's to come that day.

Though, of course, running early in the day and late at night has put her in trouble with others before. One time in particular, she had to take a different route home due to heavy construction, and she had no idea she had walked into a lion's den that had no care for her fate.

She encountered a stranger with a friendly smile on his lips who offered to walk her back home, and to this day, she hasn't let herself forget those piercing blue eyes. It was far from the first time that she encountered a good Samaritan, but there was... just something about him she couldn't forget...

(I bet you're wondering who that stranger was but don't worry, you'll find out!)

Minji is a compassionate soul who trusts at first glance.

It's something that people could use against her but she doesn't care if they try. She would rather do something right for other people than care about being used. It might be silly and she might be putting in too much work for people that may never give it back but she'd rather just do something good than not.

This, of course, is something that inevitably leads her to face trouble when she decides to accept a request from a stranger and enter an apartment without second thoughts.

Stories:

Petunia is about her romance with Judas and Saeyoung. [Based in Unknown's Assistant Timeline with Lila.]

Judas is also a secondary MC.

Snarky, mysterious, and flirtatious. You have never met a twenty-five year old like this guy. The devil is in the details and you're not going to find out the details about him no matter how hard you tried to pry. He is the kind of person that figures out everything there is to know about you before you even realize there is something more about you. He has a sharp tongue and it has served him well over the years as an informant.

Criminal turned informant, of course. If he wants you to know something, he'll let you figure it out on your own, but if he doesn't ever want you to know something about him, you never will know what it is.

Every word he says is hidden behind another layer.

At first glance, he appears to be no different than a casual flirt who likes to share a smile and sympathy with you. You may think he just wants to have a lot of fun but that's the image he's cultivated for himself.

He wants you to think of him as nothing more than a flirt and if that's all you see him as, then that's exactly what he wanted you to see. He has over a dozen masks for a reason. His real name isn't even Judas, it's just one of many he adopted over the years working in his industry. There might be a lot in a name but he could care less. In the end, any name is better than the one he was born with.

Growing up, he was used as a prop for his family. Well, not his father. His mother. She was born into a relatively successful family who wanted his mother to settle down and have a family as well as continue her career.

She wanted nothing to do with the husband or a child, but she decided that to get into the good graces of her family and inevitable inheritance, she would have a single child and a husband to use as props. His French mother found the first guy who was willing to be a trophy husband and married him. That happened to a Korean man who didn't mind a loveless marriage.

It was convenient for her because it allowed her to expand her industry into the South Korean economy.

He was nothing more than a glorified toy to his mother. She could show him off whenever there was a reason for the family to be together, and as long as he lived up to her expectations, he could have anything he wanted. He was a lonely child who had nothing unless he was visiting the family who expected him to be the best of the best just as much as his mother did.

He learned everything he was supposed to and did everything he was supposed to but it was never enough. He was a miserable child who had nothing and no one. His father had no sympathy for him because he spent most of his time focused on the money his mother brought home to use at his own convenience. He was just a forgotten possession until it was convenient to remember.

Until one day, when he reached his preteens, his mother decided that enough was enough. She decided to divorce his father and return back to France. She abandoned the two of them and left them with nothing. His father blamed him for everything because he was supposed to be the ticket to paradise.

In the end, he was abandoned by his father as well. He spent his teenage years learning how to defend himself on the streets and how to survive. He did a good job of it until he was caught in the act of pickpocketing by a man... A man not too much older than him when he was a mere 18... but still old enough to know he was wrong.

A man who would groom him to be a vicious weapon in the guise of false romance. Judas thought this man loved him and would never hesitate to do things for him. He fell into this man's life fast. This man was the son of the worst of the worst, a mafioso, and to prove himself to his father, he used Judas as a key pawn to get rid of and dispel anybody who got in his way. It was an extremely toxic and horrid relationship which only twisted Judas around like a marionette for years until he had a realization that his so-called boyfriend didn't give a shit about him.

He caught his boyfriend cheating on him in the act. He lashed out at him and was beaten for it. Judas decided then and there he was going to dismantle the entire organization and then kill his ex-boyfriend himself in cold blood.

He turned into an informant, obsessed with the idea of getting back at the man who hurt and manipulated him for years. He spent years going in and out of different operations learning secrets and tools of the trade to gain the upper hand on people and manipulate them into doing what he needed them to do.

Sure, did that mean he was doing things that would help people that were getting trafficked or hurt in the process? Yes. A huge chunk of his revenge was helping people to get away from the organization that his ex-boyfriend ran but was he doing it to protect them?

Was he doing it because it was the right thing? That's hard to say in the end. He would tell you that he was doing it because it ruined everything his ex-boyfriend was trying to do, but it seems as though there's definitely some heart in there whether he wants to admit it or not.

Ultimately, just as he was about to strike and get his revenge, he enraged the wrong person and the only way he could get out of it and save his skin was to make a deal with an agency. The same agency that the one and only 707 Extreme worked for. He was placed into the custody of Vanderwood and 707 to be interrogated and eliminated once all of his information was shared. So, Judas began to play a game of cat and mouse with those two to survive...

Toying with 707... But there is no denying that there is a strong tension between the two of them that neither of them want to completely discuss, but if they're left alone long enough, it gets dangerously close to something. Something that neither of them will name.

Ultimately, just as things seem to be on the brink of moving south for him, Judas sees a familiar face with pretty blonde hair on the screen of 707's monitor... and as soon as he utters her name, that begins a story as old as time.

Stories:

Petunia is a story about his romance with Minji and Saeyoung. [Based in Unknown's Assistant Timeline with Lila.]

Hang 'Em High is an introspective after the Secret Ending about him and Saeyoung.

[forabeatofadrum]

🌈💝🍭

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

See here!

I mean, I'd like to think I work hard on all my stuff, not only Call Me Maybe, but I also feel appreciated, ya know? I don't think people don't notice, apart from what I mentioned about Call Me Maybe.

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

Probably Ebb & Flow. As the host of the 321 Prompt Bang you've probably seen my many, many breakdowns over that fic. And as a result, once it was out in the world, I had a "thank fuck it's over" moment and because I may or may not have projected my insecure feelings on that, I was shook that people actually liked it. I mean, Beth, you know that this fic was weird for me, and you know that I also kind of hate to bash it, since I wasn't the only one who made it. You were the original prompter! But as usual, I wanna reiterate that I love your prompt and I love Judas's art, but man the writing. But yeah, I also say that Ebb & Flow also shows how much positive feedback like comments and kudos work. I always say that the fandom really lifted this one up for me. Heck, I actually reread parts of it yesterday and I had an another "you know what, this is fine" moment. It will probably never be my favourite fic and a part of me will always go "ah, yes, that happened, huh?", but it has some good stuff and I'm glad people showed me that.

(On a smaller tangent, I do get a lot of joy when I play Splatoon 3 and I keep thinking about the Ebb & Flow world while doing so. The other day I got absolutely KO'd by a Lunar Blaster and all I could think of was "alright, okay, this is why I let Blaine main that one".)

🍭why did you start writing?

Fic writing? "Officially" around 2013. Cory was still alive. Weird to say, I know, but that's how I remember it was 2013. I wrote all of Just The Way You Look Tonight in one day on a campsite during summer. But even before that I technically wrote fic without knowing what fic was. I once rewrote all of Harry Potter from Ginny's POV. I borrowed all the books from the library so that I could match it perfectly. That's fanfiction. And before that, I always had so many ideas for Winx Club stories in my head.

And I now see that I misread the question. I thought it said "when did you start writing" BUT ANYWAY this answer still sort of tracks: I just loved playing around with other people's characters and worlds. I wanted to expand on it. My mind was filled with all of the things I wanted to see. I did write original stuff when I was a kid. I probably still have a notebook with my original stuff somewhere, because I am oldschool and grew up in the 2000s and wrote everything on paper. And same can be said here. These characters were my own, but I just liked having a creative outlet. I love making stories, even for non-writing. Look at my good ole 10 generation long family on the Sims 4. Or now with Stardew Valley, I get so lost in making a farmer OC (Lune and Abby just got a second child and I am over the moon!) up to the point that I want to buy another copy of this game so that I can make 5 more!

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

8.26.23 Saturday

Yey! No work tomorrow but no day off for me...hahah... and huhuh...

Angels, I badly need a job and money and I just wanna compete in a good way that I can speak English and if americans will tell me that I have a problem hey! JOE AND JANE YOU GUYS AREN'T PERFECT!

I need a job and money angels, it is challenging for me to master this "fucking job" but really challenging.... This call center thingy... But I wanna think of it as a game... I want my wave-mates in 468 to grow as a mature agent of Iqor...

It is just weird, I feel fat, ugly and old angels... I wanna be skinny suddenly, seeing Tin2x one of my wavemates but she is still on her 20's...

10:55 am

Well,that's life people will say they care for you but they have different deep within... I have no guilty feelings coz I'm real...

I just need money and I feel irritated working in a call center, the flow of character of people are all different with each other... You can't expect a true friendship but there is... I have to stand alone and flow and just be thankful on some new good souls along the way... I just wanna work coz I need money and I wanna beat the job of course... There will be intimidation and complexities...

I started to work and bloom in Cebu Pacific Air... Where I felt that I was loved by and cared by those people that I considered my FRIENDS....They never put me in the middle of shame... They always covered me with their wings... I bloom and somehow they wanted me to flip my wings but I'm always a child... Now that I can they are all gone...

Sometimes I wanted to cry but my real friends are all gone... I can't flip my wings coz the people around me now simply wanted to smash me...

12:06 noon

I'm so happy I'm able to fix my baby John's ears... Now his ear dirt is normal... Normal ear dirt of dogs are just like the earwax of human's ears...

But I need some collagen on my hands and feet and most specially down there...

12:41 noon

I need help angels, for oil,ginger,onion and garlic plus the chicken cubes for Neko and Lalah...

I will pay the gasul... Still, waiting for Uncle Jun's sponsored food...

Thinking of our body soap here and I need to do my laundry...

Angels, I'm having a hard time here... I paid Ely as well just a 1/4 of my entire credit...

John changes his behaviour since this Thursday crime but he loves to eat bread... If this dog will die, I will go with my dog...Coz I know there is a ritual in this world... So, frustrating I can't go up or can't prove myself... I never have the chance to travel as well.

I'm so frustrated... I wanted oven and I wanted a collagen....

1:06 pm

It feels like someone is dead in this house... Where is Judas?

1:24 pm

This ate Liza is tanga2x stupid and tuso! Will explain later...Not a true friend...

Ate Liza is communicating with the other seller of food and store like the other carinderiaz...They are updating each other angels...

Ate Liza is just copying ate Cha....Then, ate Cha and her husband went to Japan already... And I figured out it from the past months that this Ate Cha is communicating with ate Liza...

I went to other carinderia'Z that if I can buy an 80 pesos adobo instead of 60 pesos, the other carinderia'Z said it can't be that way... I just need to buy 2 separate 60 pesos chicken adobo, I asked a favour if they can make it 80 pesos on 1 order...

I went to Ate Liza she is just copying other people's decision... Meaning will never be real on me...

People in my wave are innocent...There are wealthy kids in call center and some are owning a car... I feel sad and it is really depressing in my part.Those rich kids are just wanting to sit and earn all day but there are wealthy kids.... My Uncle's are innocent as well... Those wealthy kids they just acquired the skills a long time ago and happy earning and simply sitting but it took time for them to learn it as well...But! My point it doesn't mean it is just a call center everyone is poor... There are some wealthy or rich or upper kids inside the call center.

1:59 pm

That Aunt Teresa is on her "silent snapping" and if I sent a message Uncle DD will text or call me...It sounds weird but analyze the situation angels.

Uncle DD is receiving the fundings from Japan if there is or will cover or shoulder...

I will pay the gasul and I don't have extra...

3:23 pm

I just need to rest and later will do my laundry... I need to drink tea later as well coz I feel super bloated...

Hmm... About the new girl I figured out that she is already having a one son when she was 15 years old... Well, I was able to work with her professionally yesterday... She is just 20 or 21 years old having a 6 years old son...Her name is Angie ,she is a blonde girl and super skinny smaller than me...

I still wanna acquire the skills in Iqor, my aim is to beat the job nothing else.. I wanted to be a product manager but I know some people inside the room didn't accept me and I'm fine with it...

Remember that I posted here that I have so many things to explain and I didn't have time to make a long explanation here... This is the moment while resting...

Wait....

3:34 pm

First I didn't know anything at the backstage of Iqor... I don't have guilty emotions on something or on someone...

I did enter having a clean slate....I was and still never a judgemental... I did and do respect people's character.... But I'm not sure if I can keep my clean slate coz I'm adjusting to the nature of job in call center... Meaning being in the call center is different on other industries or companies that I worked with way back... I really wanna beat the nature of the job! I feel offended and degraded...

I was in Cebu Pacific Air my position there was "ground attendant or CSA ( customer service associate)"

Being a Product Manager it is not about being the master of the floor... For example my previous manager or supervisor in Cebu Pacific Air can get the title of being a Manager or Supervisor or Team Leader even without knowing the entire flow of the call center floor. Coz he is already old and having wisdom in the world and he knew how to balance the situation in the work fleld...This is somehow difficult to understand for matured people only....

Well, I'm just explaining here if they can't accept me well then it's fine... But I still wanna dig deeper on Iqor who to target for me to be able to stay and get the skills as in master it and go up and be a leader as well...

In my wave at 468, since I'm again a newbie in the call center world... I chose Mia or Bella to be our team leader if ever we are going to be in the same group when time comes that we are going to be on the floor of Iqor... Coz they will never kick me out if I have struggles on the floor.

Mia is my friend and Bella is my sisterhood... But all of them are my wavemates and I have nothing against on anyone... It's just that I see something on Mia and Bella that I can't find on other people inside my wave at 468.

4:21 pm

I'm so scared angels my right foot is twisting again inward... I have right leg cramps... Argh! My pelvic is still aching...

7:35 pm

Thank God John ate his dinner with me... Probably he is angry when I'm not in the house..

I still feel panic and I still need money... I wanna do collagen on my feet and hands and down there... I wanna do gluta... I need to keep a job angels...

8:06 pm

Grrr... The water in our village is so slow on the faucet... Uncle Jun said probably coz everyone is in the house using water... I wasn't able to wash my clothes... Grrr....

Water,water,water please tomorrow... Return the normal flow of our water here in the village...

I wanna have dimple angels... I feel super ugly... I need botox... I need to keep a job... I need to fix my butt as well... I need a scrub...

9:21 pm

Classical music that I really like angels... Aside from procrastinating... It is so good to feel and close your eyes...

10:04 pm

Baby,Darling and Sweetheart...

Can you fucking marry me Mike??? I WANNA GO HOME MIKE ...

10:15 pm

Still here... Just here and I don't know....I feel so frustrated...

Mike???? Home... Home???

Hold-up??? Or Procrastinating???

10:55 pm

I feel bitter Mike... My film is flop Mike... Mike I wanna be a product manager but I need time.... I want to be admired by or own a company... I wanna have my own Pet Store... Now, this call center thingy I feel that it is really hellish but I need money Mike and I need a job... I'm losing xfactor as an individual... A lot of women went up but I'm always just a supporter for 16 years Mike... I feel fat, ugly,old and wrinkled...

I feel so ugly Mike... I feel so ugly and still self-pitying... I need money and I need to keep a job Mike... I need that "untouchable status"... It is not easy over the phone, I'm so offended Mike...

11:28 pm

Our lives are just like film Mike... I couldn't go up and be a star just for once...Since 2007 Mike, I'm always low and always the 2nd or last choice of everyone... Always a wall flower Mike... You didn't even care... I still have windblow trap... Dying for nothing... Even a real film of being a real Zombie now, can't even have it... Still, can't buy Starbucks... My S-bones are aching but I'm not guilty but they just keep on hurting me here...i

It is unfair to die Mike, it is unfair not to have or own the "dinosaurs" me, my baby-John other dogs that I love and some good souls like some family and friends and people along the way...

[tiffanylamps]

Lamps you KNOW i HAVE to ask about catholic guilt but sexy!!!!

Turnip, you have picked my most slutty, debauched, utterly filthy wip to date. Just ask Cay, she's read the snippets, she knows all about the super unsavoury plans 😩💀 From this tag game

I'm putting a read more break here cause... yeah....

catholic guilt but sexy is set in a Beyond Evil au, where Yu Yeon lives and Dong Sik follows his family's religion. So much so, that he becomes a priest of a small parish. His life is pretty quiet, he has his friends and his flock, and he's even beloved by his local community. He's... he's okay. (Even if on the inside he feels like screaming). Everything is going according to plan, he's doing fine, until... A snobby, uppity, good-looking prick from Seoul gets transferred (banished) to his parish to be his new Deacon. Han Joo Won enters Dong Sik's life and absolutely destroys it. He is Dong Sik's demise. His doom. His very-own Judas, who has come to kiss him on the cheek.

He is brash and unrestrained, he talks openly about things he disagrees with, he doesn't care about what's expected of him by the church or God... and as time passes, his warm honesty, his single-minded determination, and his utter devotion to Dong Sik, rips the wool from Dong Sik's eyes to reveal what life could be like if he just let himself have it. Han Joo Won isn't Dong Sik's doom. He is his saviour. [Or... Dong Sik meets Joo Won and finds it impossible to repress his sexuality, which results in some freaky, freaky sex. Ngl, in this fic, there's a lot of guilt and shame, a fuckton of internalised homophobia, angst, and some pretty heavy BDSM, but a lot of love... so much love]

Here's a snippet of one of my favourite scenes... Just to be absolutely clear, this fic is rated a hard E. It was super hard to pick a short snippet, but I think you'll like what I've chosen. This snippet is of their first kiss. Obviously, Joo Won kisses Dong Sik first and these few paragraphs focus on Dong Sik kissing him back.

Dong Sik wants to cry. You fool, what have you done? But Joo Won didn't do anything that Dong Sik hasn't already spent twilights and sunsets dreaming about. 

Up until this point, his unwavering desire has trickled like a stream. But after he’s felt the warmth of Joo Won’s lips, he has become drenched with a waterfall of need. He silently prays that their Lord will have mercy on him. He is only one man, only a man… and Joo Won is a magnetic force too powerful to vanquish. So, he finally doesn’t fight it. He might find the strength one day. But not now. 

Joo Won breathes him in as Dong Sik gingerly brings their lips back together. It’s been so long since he’s done anything like this, almost Joo Won’s entire lifetime… Which… oh fuck, what a ghastly thought. There’s a smile against his mouth as fragile as origami in inept hands and it draws him in, asking to be treasured, begging for him to be the one to admire it. Dong Sik doesn’t know if he’s worthy - he might crush it and forever lose this opportunity - but he doesn’t stop himself from gently kissing Joo Won anyway. 

Joo Won moves closer with a bubbling, restless energy that reminds Dong Sik of the blooming riots of spring. A time for youth and life; gleeful as young love permeates the air with a joy that Dong Sik hasn’t felt before. It’s an infectious feeling and for a second, he allows himself the solitude of just basking in it. He can pretend that he’s free from the eyes of God and hell and anyone in between. He can pretend he’s living out the springtime flings of his youth, instead of the quiet comforts of his autumn years.

- So... yeah... that's the priest fic I was working on. At the moment, it's kind of a dead wip but I hope you've enjoyed what you've read. Thanks again for sending me this. (this fic is guaranteed to send me to hell... if I ever actually finish writing it lol)

[yandere-daze]

i hate twitter <3 honestly like you said its completely understandable to hate or dislike eichi for what he did, I don't think no one would be trying to excuse him because my boy went too far. You can understand his view, but that doesn't mean that then he didn't do anything wrong. He did, but we can't always bring it up just as a way to shame people for liking a character or seeing the character trying to change for the better (because, you know, that's the point of character grow. character make mistakes and then understood why it's terrible).

also chill its just an idol game if this were real life I expect at least the police to get involved lmfao just block any stans that you find or stuff about eichi then

(anyway real talk, Eichi is my little meow meow and I want to write for him)

Same here, the enstars fandom on there is so toxic ( like all of twitter is) You legit almost can´t have a normal conversation on there, it´s actually crazy. I think tumblr is really chill in comparison

And yeah like I said, you can hate or dislike Eichi all you want, I did as well when I started playing! But then just block people that like him if you find them annoying, there´s no reason to make a post like that😭

The only good thing that came off of that post was a quote retweet that went something like "how can you hate betrayal when your name is judas" ,dfndjf

[freddyjoncs]

fox e. jones — ❝  Nobody move, there's blood on the floor and I can't find my heart ❞

full name: fox everett jones

city of birth: manhattan, new york.

date of birth: august 25.

zodiac sign: virgo

parents: fred and daphne jones

siblings: january jones

sexuality: bisexual

nicknames: n/a

face claim: manu rios ( voice: ryan philippe )

personality.

+, natural-born leader, calculating, collected -, cruel, arrogant, self-loathing

the bio below touches on many triggering topics. reader discretion is advised. *

background information.

fox jones is the perfect mix of foolish daydreams starring bad boys with twisted smiles and wicked laughs and old-style shotguns and nectar-burnt lungs. on the outside he’s presents the perfect image. one that the jones could be proud of. a golden son that daphne could dote on and a son to take the mantle of mystery inc from freddy as time had passed. To the outside world Fox is perfect but it’s far from the truth. Below the surface there’s a hurt person. someone who chooses to inflict pain on others to silence his own.

fox was born into the world of the underground crime scene. his father was a powerful mob boss in the streets of new york by night and a powerful lawyer by day. the graves his father had filled were unmatched. from young age fox was taught that people were disposable. they were just pawns to further yourself in the game of life. he was taught that he was disposable. his parents weren’t the kindest. his mother was a socialite by day, rubbing elbows with the high class women of society to get into their good graces ( and resources ) and at night she was just as awful and heartless as his father, pushing her kids past their limits and degrading them when failure struck. and the devil himself? well he had kids just to have a legacy. someone to do his biddings and maybe take over once he finally kicked the bucket. fox was just another one of his little pawns. if he didn’t live up to the expectation that were placed upon him there were plenty of others who could replace him. so fox worked hard to be the best, better than his brother and sisters. he refused to be thrown to the wayside. he was going to prove himself useless to his father one way or another.

in a way, fox believed if he was the best then his parents would pay attention to him. maybe they’d even love him. he’d be worth loving if he held value. 

he trained hard in martial arts & firearms. although, a knife was much more desirable to fox. he earned himself the name ‘lucky’ because whenever he was around deals ended in his father’s favor. which meant fox was kept around and closer. his siblings soon picked up on how their parents operated life as a business and progressed. they became just as deadly as fox. ruthless and terrifying. 

but fox? fox was pretty. a pretty bird that no one could ever be scared of. even with how deadly he was people would laugh whenever he entered the room of negotiations or interrogations. how could such an angelic face ever strike fear? he couldn’t -  not without a snide remark or a pass. so fox was put to use elsewhere. his skills and body were used in a way fox never imagined they would be but he did for the business. to be taken seriously and to be a good son in his father’s deck. i mean, his family had already taken advantage of him. why not others?

so he allowed himself to be used. if it meant it’d further his family’s success. his nickname still came through for his family time and time again every deal closing perfectly, and while the success was good it wasn’t enough for fox. he was tired of sitting being pretty with grabby hand old men who complained about their loveless marriages to their wives. he wanted to be part of it - not on the sidelines. 

he had overheard his father talking about a big deal that was going to take place in two days time. it was very much so a make it or break it moment for foxes family. it was also the perfect chance to show he was useful. if his plan went south and the deal failed it would end miserably but if it succeeded? Fox could only imagine the glory. he was able to pull a few strings to get himself into the door before his father. of course when fox stepped in he wasn’t taken seriously. why would they send in someone like him? Fox wasn’t as stupid as they dubbed him to be. he came to a drug deal with the goods to pay. the others decided to pull the tough gangster routine on him. insults were thrown and before they could pull the wool over fox’s eyes he had one upped them. they were all dead within seconds. underestimating fox was their biggest mistake. he was just about to finish off the big boss when a different gun shot off and killed the man before him. fox didn’t need to turn around to know it was his father holding the gun. he also didn’t need to turn around to know he was absolutely livid. 

the car ride home was silent, unsettling even. fox could only imagine how his father was going to reprimand him but when they stopped at a warehouse fox was left confused as to why they were brought here and not home. of course he was taught not to question so fox got out without a word. perhaps he should have questioned why they were here because before he knew it he felt a white hot pain on his back. He managed to get a small glimpse of his father beating him with a crowbar before all went black. He had gone against his father’s wishes and now he was paying for it. the fact he wasn’t dead was sympathy on it’s own but fox was left for dead in that warehouse. He didn’t know how long he was there for but after some time he mustered up enough course to try and seek out help.

wondering the streets of new york looking like he did wasn’t the smartest idea but it garnered the attention of fred jones. when asked if he was okay fox looked the man dead in the eyes and retorted ‘what do you think?’ and when asked if he had a home near by fox went silent.

he had no home anymore. no family. nothing. that alone was enough to have fred take him home. the man saw a lot of himself in the young boy before him: angry and afraid. fox protested and insisted he only stay a day or two until he figured something out. he didn’t need any handouts from strangers. even if they were wealthy strangers. but two days soon turned to a week, to five months and before he knew it fox was adopted into the jones family. it took him quite some time to adjust to a real family. fox was hesitant at first, brash and heinous towards them. it wasn’t until he spent alone time with daphne did fox feel like he belonged. there was no ploy, no gimmick, they actually cared for him. it was a feeling he wasn’t used to. he allowed himself to be loved and for the first time loved in returned. maybe not love, but he cared for the jones’ and saw them as his real family. it took some time but even his relationship with fred has come around. 

currently, fox is the new leader of the next generation of mystery inc. after spending time with his parents their love of the paranormal rubbed off on him. the fact fred wanted to pass the baton down to his son was a honor in it’s own. they trusted him. it’s not something fox took for granted. he also did modeling as well thanks to january. daphne’s love of fashion did indeed rub off on him. you’ll never catch him in a dull outfit. Compared to the life he used to live Fox was now in paradise. he was happy to let the old him die and be reborn into someone new. ( although the new him wasn’t so great either ). the last he heard of them it was that they were in jail. without his so called luck on their side they were finally caught but being incarcerated wasn’t enough for fox. no he wanted them to suffer the way they intended he did but that’s a whole bag of trauma fox refuses to acknowledge among other feelings he’s repressed. 

he was happy with his life, happy with his family and of course happy to make people miserable. his life was perfect until stefan mcqueen decided they would be friends. fox didn’t do friends but he found himself growing attached to the idiot. and of course when marcus teague decided to punch him in the face it left fox to develop something towards him. the anger and hatred he felt melted into something else. something that fox wishes would go away because he can’t like marcus.

let alone be in love with him.

but hey, it’s just another feeling getting shoved into a box never to see the light of day. 

social media.

[ latest tweet ] @foxjones: good morning [ image url ]

[ last outgoing text ] text to january god doesn’t respond why should i

[ most played song ] judas by lady gaga

connections.

mystery inc kids: he tolerates them. ( he loves them rly )

marcus teague: enemies to lovers tea

stefan mcqueen: they’re friends. he won’t admit it.

hadrian foxworth: actual enemy. hates him v much. memo to self to destroy him later

connections: hmu

his pinterest board // playlist

[yikesharringrove]

hop or max (or both👀) realise how close bill and steve have become and love it because they can just see how happy the boys are

The two boys hadn’t noticed Hop standing there.

They were sitting, pressed hip to hip on the stairs outside the Byers’ when he arrived to pick up El.

They were passing one cigarette back and forth despite the full pack sitting between them, and the outline of a pack he could see in Billy’s breast pocket.

They were talking softly, giggling, touch lingering as they passed the cigarette back and forth.

Billy’s face was soft, was open when he looked at Steve. Hop didn’t know much about the kid, but had heard stories, stories of how rough and tumble he tended to be, how he was hard and mean.

He looked like a damn teddy bear next to Harrington on the steps.

And Jesus, Steve was almost unrecognizable to Hopper.

He had known the kid for a long time, knew his dad all through school, knew Steve when he got old enough to start causin’ trouble.

He had seen Steve looking bored and proper, like he was above everything, like he was too good for Hawkins. He had seen Steve get knocked down a few hundred pegs, had seen him rattling about the town with a nervous twitch in his shoulder, a crazed glint in his eye and a spiked bat in his trunk.

Hell, he’d even seen the kid breakdown, had found him in the woods one night, crashing through with his bat, had started spewing off about how he needed to make sure they were all gone, that everyone’s safe.

(He had cried and shook and slept on Hop’s couch for about a day and a half after that.)

He was used to the spoiled little prince, or the haunted teen with trauma past his years.

He was not used to this carefree boy, this giggly mess sitting next to his friend, sharing a cigarette.

He liked the look on Steve. Liked the line of his shoulders when they weren’t carrying the weight of the world.

-

Max huffed.

She had been woken up by a few thumps in Billy’s room. He had originally figured Neil was in there being awful, but then she heard giggles, unmistakable teenage girl giggles.

That gave way into unmistakable teenage girl moans.

She slammed a pillow over her head, blocking out the high-pitched whimpering. It was the same as the past few nights.

This girl, whoever she was, Billy must like her if she kept sneaking into his bedroom.

Usually, Billy was sneaking out, not letting this girl in.

When the noises had stopped, she took the pillow off her head.

“Sucks that your parent are home. It makes me nervous, you comin’ here. When do they leave again?” She rolled over, didn’t care to hear the chick’s response. She put on her headphones, falling asleep to the Metallica tape still in Billy’s walkman, didn’t hear Steve say, just two more nights, Bill.

-

“You need any help?” Hop was elbows deep in the sink, scrubbing at the dishes from dinner.

Steve was leaning against the counter, rolling up his sleeves. He didn’t wait for an answer, just shoved himself next to Hop and began scrubbing.

“You and Hargrove seem to be close.” He was too focused on rubbing the stains off of Joyce’s dishes to see how Steve’s cheeks went red.

“Yeah, we’re friends.”

“I think you’re good for each other. You both seem better.”

“‘Do you mean better?” Hop shrugged.

“He doesn’t seem as pissed off. I haven’t given him a speeding ticket in over two weeks for rage driving, and you haven’t seemed so, I don’t know, fucked up.”

Steve had to put the dish down as he laughed, was laughing so fucking hard he had to squat down, try to collect himself. He wiped his eyes when he stood back up.

“He’s secretly a really nice person. Don’t tell him I said that.” Hop winked at him.

-

Max threw Billy a weird look.

She had asked for a ride to Steve’s house, which was met with a I’ll be ready in ten from Billy. Twenty minutes of him getting his hair just so, they set off.

And then Billy got out of the car with her, walked her to Steve’s door.

“Don’t you got a date?” Billy just furrowed his brows at her. She looked pointedly at his clothes, the red shirt he only wore on his dates, almost all the way unbuttoned.

“Nah. Just haven’t done laundry in a while.” He was staring her down.

“Are you and Steve even friends?” But he didn’t answer. The door swung open, revealing Steve dressed casually in a pair of sweats. He smiled at Max, ushering her inside to the kitchen with the rest of the brats as he stepped onto the porch to talk to Billy.

She doubled back.

“You look nice. Got a date?”

“Yeah. Leggy brunet. Totally hot. Has this tight ass, is such a slut.” She cringed at the way her brother was talking about this poor girl. Plus, ehy had he lied to Max, said he didn’t have a date.

“Sounds like a wet fucking dream.” Billy muttered shuddup as Steve laughed.

Steve was making fun of Billy, as wasn’t getting the shit beaten out of him for it.

“Well, come in then. It’s cold.” It really wasn’t but she raced off to join the others in the kitchen, left too soon to see Billy pin Steve against the door, kiss him roughly for a few seconds.

Billy snuck out again, after dropping her off at home.

-

Hop was on quarry duty tonight.

It was Valentine’s Day, which meant most of Hawkins’ young couples would be parked at the quarry or Lovers’ Lake or one of the other lookout make out spots.

Hop was wandering through with a flashlight, knocking on windows with a Hawkins PD, get outta here, you’re trespassing.

He came upon Billy Hargrove’s unmistakable car, the dark blue Camaro parked under a large tree, mostly hidden from the other’s.

He was expecting to knock on the back window, but heard voices coming from the hood.

Billy and Steve were passing what smelled like a joint back and forth, laying back on the windshield looking at the stars.

“Fuck knows I got no other plans for this year. I don’t mind waiting.”

“It’s a whole year, Steve. You’d be stuck here until I graduate.”

“What else am I gonna do?”

“You might still get into Chicago.”

“Don’t hold your breath, Bill.” 

Hopper came stomping up to their line of sight. Steve put out the joint against the side of the car and tossed it into the bushes.

“Subtle.” Billy shrugged at Hop.

“I was expecting to have to pull you off some girl, Hargrove.”

“Hawkins chicks ain’t really my type.” Hop just shook his head.

“Well, you two are still trespassing. Services roads closed at six.” Steve just nodded vigorously as he slid off the car.

“We’ll scurry right off, Hop. Sorry.”

“And if you two are gonna smoke, please do it in a house, or somewhere I can’t smell it.”

The two slammed themselves in the car, Hop could hear them laugh as the car roared to life.

-

Max was digging through the backseat of Billy’s car, trying to find her skateboard.

He had hidden it from her, like a fucking child, so she snagged his keys when he was too busy being a meathead, working out in the living room.

It was as gross as she was expecting. Billy like to keep his car very clean, especially compared to his pigsty of a bedroom.

She picked up an old worn sweatshirt, found a plain shoebox underneath.

She didn’t want to snoop, but she was curious.

There were a few pictures of Billy’s mom right on top. She only recognized her from the necklace around her neck, the one Billy now refused to take off.

There were some movie ticket stubs, a big wad off cash she made a mental note of, a slip of paper she recognized from a fortune cookie from the place Billy would take her on Thursdays after school in California to get their two for one entree special. He had some jewelry in there, probably more of his mom’s, and a gaudy valentine covered in glitter.

She closed the box, didn’t care to dig further than the valentine, didn’t see Steve’s neat handwriting inside of it, the pictures Billy hoarded underneath it, pictures of Steve, pictures of him and Steve, even a few saucy ones of Steve.

Instead she turned her attention to the hoodie, to the faded Hawkins High Swim Team on the front.

She gave it back to Steve next time she saw him.

“Found it in my brother’s car.”

It would be back in a few weeks, anyway.

-

Hop opened the door to the cabin when Steve rapt on it.

He was toting a bunch of board games, was there to watch El for the night.

Hop raised his eyebrows when Steve set them down, revealing the faded Judas Priest shirt. He knew Steve liked shitty pop, wouldn’t be caught dead listening to hard rock.

“Nice shirt.” Steve looked down at himself, going red.

“Oh shit, Bill slept over last night, he must’ve left it.”

And then Hop noticed the bruises. The dark hickies on his neck, just under the stolen shirt.

Hop’s pretty sure he would’ve never heard the end of it if Steve had a girlfriend, pretty sure the kid’s would’ve lost their shit over it.

So Steve maybe was dating in secret, dating a boy in secret, a boy he spent Valentine’s Day with, a boy he giggled with and shared cigarettes with, a boy who’s shirts he stole and forgot he was wearing them.

But Steve was soft when he sat down next to El, smiled at her nicely and asked about the book she was reading.

So Hop shrugged, and went to his late shift.

-

“You wanna go to the mall?” Billy was standing weirdly in her doorway, trying to make himself look like he belonged there. “Could call up that chick friend of yours.”

She narrowed her eyes at him.

“What’s the catch.”

“No catch. Just needed to get something from the mall. Thought you’d wanna go.” He had been acting really off lately.

He’d been talking to her how they used to, before Neil doubled down and moved them halfway across the country. He had even made a joke the other day, one that wasn’t a mean comment masquerading as a joke.

“Lemme call El. Maybe Hop would drop her off.” She was even more suspicious as he smiled at her, went to back to his room. She talked to El for a moment, who said Hop would drop her off in ten minutes.

She poked her head in Billy’s room, saw him looking in the mirror, primping himself.

“Does your girlfriend work at the mall?” He gave her a withering stare.

“Don’t have a girlfriend.” She grinned.

“You so do. You know, I heard her sneaking in here a few months ago. I know that you sneak out to go and see her.” Billy flushed. “And it’s always the same voice, so don’t lie and say it’s different girls you perv.”

“Shut up, Maxine.”

“Make me, William.” He stamped his foot like a little kid.

“That’s it! No more mall for you today. I’m just gonna go by myself.” She blocked him in the doorway.

“Just tell me her name.” He shook his head.

“Fine. Tell me where she works and El and I will leave you two alone.” He shifted his jaw around.

“She works at Scoops Ahoy?”

“Isn’t that where Steve works?”

“He introduced us.”

But, But that didn’t add up. Billy had been seeing this girl long before Steve started working there. Maybe they knew each other before? No, Steve famously didn’t have any friends besides the party when Billy started sneaking around with that gir-

And then it hit her.

The fucking sweatshirt.

The Hawkins High Swim Team sweatshirt.

Leggy brunet. Totally hot. Has this tight ass, is such a slut.

She almost threw up.

Steve was her brother’s secret girlfriend. How did she not fucking see this.

“Cool. We’ll let you two be gross or whatever.”

He gave her a tiny smile. She was trying her best not to scream.

Hopper dropped El off and Billy drove them to the mall, let Max pick the music and at one point, had even hummed along to the Hall & Oates song. Fucking Rich Girl.

She pulled El along to The Gap when they hit the mall, Billy making a beeline for Scoops.

“We’re gonna spy on Billy.” El just smiled slyly and nodded vigorously.

They crouched behind plants out in front of Scoops, could just hear Billy talking to Steve’s coworker.

“Dingus, your homoerotic rival turned lover is here.” Steve’s shoes squeaked as he launched himself from the back room. Max’s hands were clammy. She was right.

“Don’t be so loud, Rob.”

“There’s no one here.” Max heard a sound like something being hit dully. Steve yelped. Billy just slapped his ass. “But, you are not allowed to leave me for more than your fifteen. Not like last week. The rush came and I was alone for an hour, Steve. An hour.”

“O-kay, Rob. We’ll be quick.”

“And disinfect any surface you two fuck on. I refuse to touch that.” Billy roared with laughter as Steve squawked indignantly. Max peeked up to watch Steve drag Billy into the backroom. Billy grinned at Robin, a really nice, happy smile before turning to Steve.

[ameliarating]

I read through @pumpkinpaix‘s deeply thoughtful post about cultural appropriation and dismissal of Chinese cultural concerns (two related but distinct phenomena) in non-Chinese MDZS/CQL fan-spaces and should-be-obvious-but-painfully-is-not disclaimer: 

When it comes to these things, the voices that should be rising above the rest are the Chinese fans speaking out about what they’ve seen.

I’m only here because I feel I have what to say on this bit here: 

For context, we are referencing two connected instances: the conflict described in these two threads (here and here), and when @/jelenedra tweeted about giving Jewish practices to the Lans. Regarding the latter, we felt that it tread into the territory of cultural erasure, and that it came from a person who had already disrespected diaspora’s work and input.

Context

The Lans have their own religious and cultural practices, rooted both in the cultural history of China and the genre of xianxia. Superimposing a different religious practice onto the Lans amidst other researched, canonical or culturally accurate details felt as if something important of ours was being overwritten for another’s personal satisfaction. Because canon is so intrinsically tied to real cultural, historical, and religious practices, replacing those practices in a canon setting fic feels like erasure. While MDZS is a fantasy novel, the religious practices contained therein are not. This was uncomfortable for many of us, and we wanted to point it out and have it resolved amicably. We were hoping for a discussion or exchange as there are many parallels and points of relation between Chinese and Jewish cultures, but that did not turn out quite as expected.

What happened next felt like a long game of outrage telephone that resulted in a confusion of issues that deflected responsibility, distracted from the origin of the conflict, and swept our concern under the rug.

Specifically, we are concerned about how these two incidents are part of what we feel is a repeated, widespread pattern of the devaluing of Chinese fans’ work and concerns within this fandom. This recent round of discourse is just one of many instances where we have found ourselves in a position of feeling spoken over within a space that is nominally ours. Regardless of what the telephone game was actually about, the way it played out revealed something about how issues are prioritized.

(Big surprise, I’m going to talk about Jewish things and MDZS)

I haven’t read the fic in question, but I have certainly made many posts about Jewishness and the Lans, imagining certain traditional Jewish educational settings and modes of learning and argumentation as superimposed onto the Cloud Recesses. I’ve also written other posts, mostly for me and the three other people out there who would find it funny, imagining different sects as different Jewish sects - or at least, who they have most in common with.

Never was I imagining these characters or worlds to be actually Jewish, but, as people often do in fandom, I was playing around in the spaces, delighting in overlaps I found, out of a deep-seated wish that I could have anything like MDZS or so many of the other fantasy I loved with Jews.

I’m jealous. I’m so jealous. 

Here’s how I was relating to it: 

China is a country of billions with an immense media audience of its own, its own television, movies, books, comics, etc. The only Jewish equivalent could ever be Israel, very tiny, and while there is a lot of good Israeli television, books, etc out there, it doesn’t approach what’s available from China, and certainly none of it has broken through to be a fandom presence of its own, not even in Jewish only or Hebrew speaking spaces. And even when that happens, the creators don’t often draw on Jewish history and myth. (One example I can think of a show that does is Juda, a Jewish vampire show from Israel, but I know exactly one (1) person on tumblr who’s seen it.)

So I was treating MDZS the way I treat American media - as a playground. Since I can’t find Jewish stories, especially in fantasy, I’m going to play around with it in non-Jewish stories.

Here’s how I should have been relating to it:

There are so many people who, like me, have been hungry to find themselves and their stories and their magic in fandom spaces. They have a show that’s made it big. Is it fair to, even playing around in tumblr posts, set so much of that rich cultural context aside in order for me to find room for my own? 

In the U.S., at least, where I am, it’s not the same as doing the same thing with, say, The Lord of the Rings (where I wrote a fic making use of Jewish mourning practices and assigned them to the Beorians) or Harry Potter, because that’s taking a dominant culture which is all I usually ever see and make room for myself. 

In MDZS, especially in the English language fandom where the Chinese cultural context is never dominant and is often shouted over and overlooked, and where there just aren’t many other examples of media that made it big in the fandom, I am only making room for myself by shoving aside something else that barely has any room at all.

In many ways, I became the fan that frustrates me, that writes about Jewish characters celebrating Christmas, rather than the fan that I wanted to be, which gets excited about cultural overlap and similarities. I’m sorry and I apologize.

My first reaction was not to. My first reaction was to say it’s not the same. Because it isn’t the same. It’s never the same when minorities do things to each other. But even if that’s less destructive, in some ways it’s more painful, because that’s where we should be able to look to each other for solidarity. (Obviously this is in English language fandom - Chinese fans are not a minority in Chinese language fandoms!)

I do believe that there should be room to make silly posts about the Lans doing things that Jews do, because the Lans do do things that Jews do. When I made an edit where Lan Wangji was responding to Lan Qiren quoting in Hebrew from the Jewish prayerbook rather than the sect rule to distance from evil, I did that because he was saying the exact same thing. It was wonderful to me, that a Lan sect rule could be exactly the same as something I pray every morning.

That’s very different from when I wrote imagining the Lans as Jews which left no more room for the Lans as Chinese Buddhists. It’s those later things I apologize for and what I’ll be careful about in the future.

I do still want to return to something I said just above, however: “Because it isn’t the same. It’s never the same when minorities do things to each other.”

I worry, as I wrote in a separate post, about the tendency I see in anti-colonial, anti-imperialist spaces to look at Jewish practices and laws and culture and see it as an example of Western hegemony rather than as a survivor of it. Especially in a post that talks about the Chinese diaspora experience, where the very word diaspora was coined to describe the Jewish scattering across the globe and only much later was used for other cultures and peoples.

I don’t object to its now much more universal use as a word. It’s useful and it’s powerful and I believe it can be used to build solidarity. I do ask for, however, recognition that while Jews, especially in the West, might reproduce Western hegemony and use it against others, our own ethno-religious experiences bubbling up is not one of those reproductions.

In other words, when we erase, accidentally or purposefully, the Chinese cultural and religious contexts of characters in MDZS/CQL in our rush to write in Jewish cultural and religious contexts, we are doing harm as ourselves, not as representatives of Western/European/Christian hegemony. And in fact, what inspired us to write in our own contexts is that there are certain things (deference to elders, life carefully regulated by a series of laws about everything from interpersonal-ethical behavior to food habits to modes of speech, cultural horror regarding desecration of the dead, etc) we find in these stories that we don’t find in many Western stories that resonate with our own cultural background.

Which is not to erase the harm itself. I am sorry for it and I will do my best going forward to write about overlaps without erasing or replacing what is already there from the beginning and should remain so.

[thesigilsofbaphomet]

Lucifer Wants What’s Best For You

(And God is Your Enemy)

So... I touched on this in my response to someone talking about using Micheal in Catholic Folk Magic as a protective, social justice spirit. But I cut my overall take short, because it was off topic. But I wanted to talk about it, so, it’s time for one of my rare non-reblog posts on this blog.

I’ll begin by restating my overall premise- If you look at both canonical and folk-loric sources on Satan, you see a figure who simply desires to help people.

The Snake in the Garden

It is important to note that The Serpent in Genesis is not Lucifer/Satan/The Devil. It’s just... a serpent. Like, it’s not even, specifically, a demon. But the serpent, being a magical talking animal who convinces humans to act contrary to the will of God, is commonly seen as a demon. And I’ll go with that.

So, God creates the whole universe. This includes The Garden of Eden, the paradise that God rents to the first humans in exchange for their obedience. They’re allowed to eat from any tree in the Garden, except the tree in the center, known as the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil (The ToKoGaE).

Note- God created Eden for Adam and Eve. God is omniscient, meaning all knowing, thus he knows that Adam and Eve will eventually eat the fruit of the tree. The general Christian take is that the tree is a test. However, if you know that the test takers will fail a test, and you know you will give them a rather extreme punishment for that failure, is it not extremely cruel to present that test?

So the serpent talks to Eve, and there’s an exchange, and eventually, the snake convinces Eve to eat ToKoGaE fruit. Giving her knowledge of Good and Evil. And there’s some really weird thing here where suddenly she knows she’s nude, because she ate fruit that gives her moral knowledge, and apparently there’s a moral weight to nudity? And it’s bad? But God made them nude? So God explicitly create humans in a state of Sin and this whole original sin shit doesn’t really fucking hold up if they were created in a state of sin to begin with? I digress. Eve gives Adam the ToKoGaE fruit, now they both know their nude, so they start gluing leaves to their skin with sap or something (I refuse to believe they had any actual knowledge of how to weave leaves into clothes like it’s just a thing you can do and not something you have to learn how to do, and there’s literally no reason for them to have done that prior, so this is literally the first time they’re trying to use leaves as cover).

And the usual Christian take is that the snake is wrong in this. But... knowledge is good, and God was specifically withholding knowledge from Adam and Eve. So the Serpent was helping them.

Satan Scares a Guy’s Ass

No, literally. A guy named Balaam is riding a donkey and Satan appears to scare the donkey to stop him.

This story makes no goddamned sense, even when you read it in a vaguely modern dialect. But, basically, the Israelites leave Egypt and settle, and the guy who rules the land next to them says “holy shit, that’s a lot of guys, they might come take my shit.” So he sends some messengers to a seer, Balaam, to ask him to curse the Israelites so he can beat them in battle. Balaam says “Ok, sleep here, I’ll tell you what God says in the morning.” In the morning, Balaam’s like “Bad news, guys. God says I can’t go with you. The Israelites are blessed.” The king sends more messengers who are more official looking and they say “Look, dude, our lord will give you SO MUCH HONOR if you come curse these guys for us”

So Balaam says “Look, I don’t care if your king sucks my dick gives me his palace and all his money, I can’t go against God. But stay here, I’ll tell you if he says anything more in the morning (and on reflection, it almost seems like this is explicitly acknowledging that God is just extremely capricious). God tells Balaam, “Ok, go with them, but do exactly what I tell you.” So Balaam saddles his ass up, and goes with them.

And God gets pissed off? Because, I’ll repeat, God is a capricious asshole. So Satan (or, An Angel of the Lord, depending on the translation you read, but the original Hebrew says it’s Satan, who, in Judaism, is an angel of YHWH, and basically exists to test humans) appears, only visible to Balaam’s donkey, and the donkey says “oh fuck that, I’m gonna go to this field over here.” Balaam hits the donkey and the donkey goes back to the pass. So Satan appears again, this time in a narrow pass, so the donkey say “eeengghh...” and tries to, like, slide past Satan by scrapping the wall, and scrapes Balaam’s foot, so, again, Balaam beats his ass. Finally, Satan appears on, like, a narrow bridge, and the donkey can’t turn, can’t just scrape against a wall, and so just lays down. Balaam is, again, pissed off, and Satan opens Balaam’s eyes and asks him why he’s beating his donkey, and God opens the donkey’s mouth so the donkey can be like “no seriously, what the fuck, dude?”

But, so, in Numbers, Satan appears to just stop a guy from doing what God told him not to (and then to) do.

“They go through houses — they go up, they ring doorbells”

In Chronicles, David, king of Israel, decides to have a census. Or Satan tells him to. It’s not clear. In Samuel, David has the idea independently, but in Chronicles Satan tells him to. But anyway. David wants to have a census, which is a pretty reasonable thing. Censuses have a purpose, they tell a government how many people there are, and where they live, and, in America, give data that can be used to decide where and how to spend tax money. But for some reason, authoritarians don’t like censuses.

I want to say more about this, but... it’s literally just “Satan tells David to take a census, God doesn’t like that.” and then God sending an angel to tell David “pick a punishment!”

The Outlier--Job

I feel like a broken record, but, again, this story makes no fucking sense. Job’s super devout, and God’s blessed him. Satan walks up to God and says “Dude, he’s only devout because you gave him shit. Let me take his shit, and you’ll see how devout he really is.” And God says “Ok, sure, but you can’t kill him.”

So Satan just absolutely shits on Job. He gives Job boils, he kills his family, he financially ruins him, and through it all, Job refuses to reject God, so Satan is forced to concede, and God’s like “Haha, told you. Now, Job, how’d you like a new wife?”

This is the one story I’m aware of where Satan is legitimately just screwing with a guy and not trying to help him.

And Satan’s There, Too!

Satan next appears in Zechariah, in, like, a vision, and he’s just sort of there? This is another “The Satan” thing, where Satan is an angel of God whose purpose is to test humans. He doesn’t really do anything, he just gets mentioned as being there.

Then there’s a mention of Lucifer in Isaiah, and, literally, it’s just a reference. He’s not even there, it’s just a throwaway line saying “Lucifer was cast out of Heaven.”

Satan Asks Jesus Out to Some Beers

The last three mentions of Lucifer in the Bible occur in the New Testament, two of them are just Lucifer tempting Jesus.

Mark just mentions that Satan tempted Jesus.

Luke actually describes the temptation. So, Jesus goes out into the desert and fasts for forty days. Lucifer shows up and says “dude, you’re the son of God, just turn this stone into some bread, and have something to eat.” Jesus rebukes him in a “completely missing the goddamned point” way. So Lucifer takes him up to a mountain and says, “Look, dude, come with me, and can rule over everything you see here. It’s all mine, and it’s mine to give to who I choose. Just worship me.” And Jesus rebukes him. So Lucifer takes Jesus up to the top of a temple and says “God gave the angels to you, they’ll protect you, jump off and they’ll catch you.” And Jesus rebukes him again, and Lucifer disappears in a poof of exasperation.

Now, what’s the purpose of this? Well, there’s the standard Christian reading that Satan is trying to lure Jesus away from serving God’s plan because he’s EVIL and his SOLE PURPOSE IS TO OPPOSE GOOD AND THAT’S GOD. But... Ok, so Jesus is the son of God, he’s divine, and, it’s reasonable to assume that he can’t die unless God allows it, because it’s part of God’s plan for him to die in a specific context. So.... why does he fast for forty days? It’s not like he can starve, and he’s divine, so it’s not like he can suffer the pangs of hunger, unless he chooses to, so... is there any meaning in his fasting? I argue not. It’s exactly as meaningless as the act of turning a stone to bread and having a bite.

Then, there’s the second temptation. If we assume that Jesus is benevolent, and divine, and I argue, even as a Satanist, that Jesus is benevolent. I also believe that Lucifer is benevolent and the creator god is the standout as the not-benevolent one in the game. But I expect Christians believe that Satan is evil and Jesus good. Therefore, in Luke 4, Satan says “this world is mine, to give to they who I see fit.” And Jesus refuses to even pay lip service. Despite the fact Jesus ruling the world would presumably be better for people than a world rules by Satan. And Satan is offering that, maybe as a fuck you to God, but he is freely offering up his temporal power to someone who would make the world a better place.

The final temptation, I would argue, is Satan trying to free Jesus from God’s plan that demands he suffer torture and death. He’s trying to show Jesus “you have power of your own, you don’t have to subject yourself to this plan that ends in your death.”

If we interrogate the narrative from it’s own perspective, then Jesus is both God and human, and Satan is appealing to him as a human, saying “you’re a god, you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to die.”

Luke 22 is the last mention of Satan in the Bible, and it just says that Satan entered Judas (not in a sexy way), and Judas went out to talk to the pharisees about how he could betray Jesus. But...well, ok, literally the line is-

3 Then entered Satan into Judas surnamed Iscariot, being of the number of the twelve.

4 And he went his way, and communed with the chief priests and captains, how he might betray him unto them.

Like... it makes me think that a lot of the time, when Satan is mentioned in the Bible, they don’t mean a literal figure named Satan, and they’re using the name poetically to refer to people working against God or Jesus. Because... Jesus’ death is foreordained. It’s part of God’s plan, so why would Satan be involved in Judas’ betrayal of Jesus? Unless this is going back to the Judaic idea of Satan as an angel of God who acts as an adversary of humanity, in which case, Satan is acting on God’s orders to make Judas betray Jesus.

To Infinity and Beyond

So, that’s the extent to which Satan is mentioned in the Bible in anyway, either as a figure never called Satan but often conflated with him, to The Adversary, to Lucifer.

After that, you have to look at folk lore and media, and this is simultaneously difficult, because pretty much anyone can make a story up and it can get traction, and actually kind of easy in this particular case, because... most folk lore is one a single track when it comes to Satan.

Most folk lore involving Lucifer/Satan/whatever you want to call him-

I hear he misses the old names, so, special shoutout to “Little Horn”

-involves a human who wants something, and Satan showing up to give it to them for their soul.

And this comes to a realization I made last year- In these stories, if you take the Christian worldview, Satan is actually... giving these things away for free, not for people’s souls.

I’m pretty sure I talked about this on this tumblr, but I’ll go through it so you don’t have to hunt it down.

In Christianity, your soul is not yours, it belongs to God, so you can’t actually give it away or “sell” it

However, to do so, if your could, would be a sin

In Christianity, or at least Catholicism, conceiving of a sin with full intent to commit it is the same as committing the sin.

Therefore, even if you can’t, technically, “sell your soul to the devil,” if you decide to do so, you have immediately sinned, and in fact, you have committed pretty much the biggest sin there is in Christianity, Apostasy, one which cannot be forgiven by any temporal power, and the forgiveness of is the sole domain of God himself.

ie, If you commit Apostasy, you are immediately condemned to Hell, unless God himself intervenes. If you decide to sell your soul to Satan, you have already committed apostasy, even though that’s not a thing you can actually do.

Thus, when a person resolves to trade their soul for something, they are immediately condemned, their soul already destined for Hell, simply for deciding they would give it to Satan instead of trusting in God. Satan should obviously know how this works, he should be aware that a person just deciding to trade their soul is sufficient, and Satan has no reason to actually give the person anything.

So, given that, here’s what happens- A person wants something, they want it so badly, they decide to sell their soul to Satan for it. Satan is fully aware that at that moment the person’s soul is already his. But then he goes and gives them what they want.

The only possible way to interpret that is that Satan literally wants to help people.

But What About Hell?

So, how does one suppose that Satan just wants to help people if those people are still condemned to Hell for accepting his help?

Well, again, we’re going to go back to my background of having been raised Catholic.

In the Catholic tradition, Hell is not a place of fiery torment, it is not a place where demons break out the medieval torture shit and rend your soul. The torment of Hell, in the Catholic tradition, comes from the fact that God is absent. The Catholic tradition believes that Hell is painful because God’s presence is not there, that those who are in Hell are cut off from God.

Obviously, Catholics believe a lot of stuff is the natural consequence of this, they probably believe that without the presence of God, people are more malevolent in Hell, and so there are probably plenty of “mundane” torments there in addition.

However, I believe that the presence of God is not a perceivable thing. If it were, there should not be any atheists, or even non-Catholics. If you could perceive the presence of God, then why would you ever not believe in that God? Therefore, Hell should not feel any particularly different from life on Earth. But even if it does, that is, even if the absence of God is apparently despite his presence not being so, I contend that the human spirit can become accustomed to anything.

Therefore... Hell is not a place of torment, especially for the sinful who reject God in the first place.

Aside: Is God’s Presence Desirable?

If we look at the figure of God from the Bible, I contend that God is worthy of nothing but contempt and hatred.

God is said to have created the universe and all life in it--so that it might adore and adulate him.

God is, supposedly, Omniscient, Omnipotent, and Omnibenevolent (The Three Omnis). But he created a world of pain and suffering, and not all of that is the consequence of free will on the part of the person who suffers. You can argue that pain and suffering is a consequence of people choosing to do evil, but that does not explain the presence of suffering innocents. An omniscient being would know that free will would result in some people choosing to harm innocent children. An omnibenevolent being would wish to prevent that. An omnipotent being, creating a world ex nihilo, could create a world where the natural consequence of trying to harm a child prevents or punishes that attempt. It would not affect free will to create a world where trying to hurt a child caused the would-be perpetrator to burst into flames or have an immediate heart attack--just like it does not infringe on free will that we as humans cannot naturally fly and the natural consequence of jumping off a cliff trying to do so is to fall. It would not affect free will to create a world where children are immune to harm. God created a world where children can be harmed, and he chose to do so, knowing it would happen.

God paid disobedience with exile and painful death--when he would logically know that it would happen to begin with, due to his omniscience.

God looked at his “children” and murdered them in droves for disobedience.

In fact, God killed around 25 million people in the Bible, and that’s only counting adult men. Satan is responsible for about 10 specified deaths in the Bible (Job’s seven sons and three daughters), but the number of Job’s servants aren’t given, and they were slain at his prompting as well. But Job likely wouldn’t have had more than a few hundred servants, and even if he had ten times that number, even if he had 10,000 servants, God is responsible for at least 2,500 times as many, in adult men alone.

Altogether, the Bible itself paints an image of God as an abusive, selfish authoritarian who throws his “children” away in a fit of pique, or boredom, or to win a bet. Is this a figure deserving of worship? Of adoration? Of love? Christians seem to believe yes, believing that their creation at his whim is all that is needed to earn such. It is the position of an abused child who loves their toxic parent simply because of their relation, and despite their abuses.

An Image of Satan

So, on the other hand, we have this figure who staged a rebellion against a heavenly authority, who rules over a land eternal where the only torment is the absence of his foe, who we have already examined and found to be an abusive authoritarian.

A figure who has killed not even 1% of the people this authoritarian did, and who freely gives what is needed to those who, essentially, pledge themselves to his domain.

A Matter of Interpretation

In the end, it comes down to interpretation and belief, since we actually don’t have any kind of primary source on, well, anything to do with the Bible, or religion in general, to be honest. Personally, I think that if you’re looking at the Bible as any kind of authoritative source, then this is the only possible honest conclusion. If you believe that God is any way not reprehensibly abusive, then you can’t view the Bible as any kind of authoritative source, at least as regards God.

I’m a Satanist, so of course I’m given to a more sympathetic view of Satan, but given that there is no particular authoritative source for Lucifer (even the Bible would have been written by his enemy), the character of Satan can only really be inferred from non-authoritative sources, and interestingly, whatever a person says about their enemy, those statements are incredibly revealing of the speaker, as well.

I don’t, necessarily, believe that all Christians follow such a reprehensible creed, I don’t even think all Christians who view the Bible as, if you’ll pardon the pun, gospel, do. But I think a lot of Christians do not take any time to honestly evaluate the Bible and what it says about their God.

[codenamesilas]

And a Destiny AU because reasons 👀

-silas is most certainly a titan. weapons and fists are equally engaging for combat, and he doesn't care which he gets the job done with.

-going well against the unwritten rule of guardians working together, silas would be quick to throw other guardians to the wolves if it means getting something good out of the deal.

-i have very little lore knowledge (it's been so long, and getting the second game was $$) but silas would definitely be intrigued by the resurrection process and the implications of immortality that comes with it.

drabbles time!

_______

The two of them had gotten stuck together during a raid against the Vex. Sure, their ghosts had reassured them that they were supposed to be together ('you balance each other out; no, really, this is a good idea'), but the damn things had led them astray before.

The warlock had gotten the worst out of the deal. His current 'partner' (and for now, he used that word lightly), didn't seem to have much consideration for the other Guardians. After they'd picked off the few Goblins they could see in the clearing before them, the Titan had all but rushed down into it, not even bothering to scan for any more life signs first.

Two Guardian corpses were nearly seared in half by the heat of the Vex weaponry, slumped together against a stone pillar. The Titan gave a sharp whistle as he crouched down to inspect the damage. He was impressed, not only by the technology these creatures possessed, but how seamlessly they wielded it.

The warlock stayed above on his perch, not willing to join the other until he was certain it was safe. He wrinkled his nose at the mess of the two bodies below. There were already so few of them left compared to what the looming threat of the Darkness held. And with the speed it seemed to be branching out, there was so little time for them to prepare for the fight. Some of them just...weren't ready for any this.

After getting to his feet, the Titan placed his foot against one of the corpses' chest, fingers prying underneath the helmet it wore. Hell, it wasn't damaged. Hadn't even taken a hit. And it's specs were more advanced than he would have thought for someone who was taken down so easily.

“Oh, for Christ's sake, would you stop that.”

“What?” he said innocently, “It's perfectly good, and it's not like they'll be needing it.” He moved to inspect one of the weapons laying on the ground. If the settlements on Mars had once been peaceful, you'd never know it now.

From his spot on top of the pillar, the warlock could see a group of Vex making their way towards their location from the other side of the pillar. “Silas-”

“I know, I know. Gimme a minute.”

“No, there's-” but the man waved off his warnings, continuing his assessment of the equipment. With the way the Vex moved, they'd be on top of the Titan before he even realized they were coming. The warlock raced along the pillar, cursing the idiot he'd been stuck with, and hurling off the energy he'd been gathering from the Traveller in a quick, well-aimed burst. It struck the entire group, and he only justpicked off the two surviving Minotaurs before they'd spotted him.

Now he had to get back before the bastard slipped away on him. Really, though, would it have been so bad if he just let the other go? With a sigh, he glided down from the pillar, back to ground level.

The Titan didn't appear to notice what had been happening, head down as he fastened the scavenged equipment to his belt. As soon as he looked up, his hand cannon was drawn, and the warlock heard the bullet whip past near his head, followed by the electronic screech of a Vex goblin in the throes of death. “Really, Doc, you need to watch your back a little more carefully,” the Titan said, walking back and giving the warlock a pat on the shoulder as he passed by. “Nothing to be ashamed of, you'll get the hang of it.”

The warlock glared daggers at his ghost unit hovering nearby, who spun it's shell defensively, “Don't look at me, he's your partner.”

_______

There was a sudden silence where there should have been sound, but neither of them noticed until the tip of a knife was against Ralph's chest, and a hand cannon pressed against Silas' back.

“They're guardians.” The familiar, robotic tone of a ghost, though it was tinged with surprise.

“Huh.” The hands holding their weapons relaxed, falling at the man's side. He was a hunter; he knew better than to put them away in a place like this, and it had nothing to do with the two men he'd just held at gunpoint.

Once the tension dissipated, the newcomer bowed low. “Sorry about that, gentlemen. Can never be too careful. Honestly, I didn't expect to see any friendly faces out here. He straightened up, “Judas, at your service.” The hunter bounded around Silas, his lift kicking in a few times so he rarely touched the ground. “My, but you're a tall one. I suppose you have to live up to the title, after all.”

The titan tried to keep his eyes on the energetic guardian, only to get annoyed at having to constantly spin around. He reached out, snatched the hunter's cape in a fist and pulled, hard. The hunter hit the ground with a startled cry, all of his internal displays informing him he was under attack, while the titan loomed over him, resting a foot forcefully on his chest. “Where are the others?”

Judas coughed, slowly catching his breath, “Others?”

“Guardians.”

Judas shook his head, “There are none. Not with me, anyway.”

“Bull. We don't travel alone.”

“Correction; youdon't travel alone. Ido. I prefer keeping to the shadows. Get in, get out, quick and easy. Hard to do that with one of you,” he glared pointedly at the titan, “causing a disturbance everywhere you go.”

The warlock's ghost hovered upwards. It's finials spun in and out, “I'm not picking up any nearby sources of light. He's telling the truth.”

“There. See? Can I get up now?”

With a grumble of disapproval, Silas hefted the hunter up with one hand.

“Oh!” his feet kicked under him before they were placed on solid ground. The hunter stretched out, his back giving an irritated crack in the process. “This is exactly what I mean. You titans all play rough”

“Careful with him,” Ralph snapped. “We could use his help.”

“Hm?” Interest. Judas turned towards the warlock.

“Here,” his ghost displayed the scans of an underground armoury. “The Cabal have something we want. They've got it tucked away, and we need to get in.”

“Ah. Well, I'm no scout, and the tunnels aren't my forte.”

“We already have a layout of their network, and a way in. It's getting in and out that we're seeing a problem with.”

“Don't have speed on your side.” Judas nodded. There were certain unspoken rules amongst guardians. One of them was that all of this was everyone's fight. “Alright. But first, I have a little something you can help me with.”