#i do need this in my life
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I donât owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. Theyâre always passing urges, but itâs disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brainâs spent so long thinking only about suicide that itâs forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But Iâm trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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(âżââżâ) die (ę ęł ęâż)
#MY GIRLLLLLLLL <333333 you're doing amazing sweetie kill them all you deserve to#anyway. coping mechanism. the problems in my life i could solve if society just let me have a death note#this show really is an exercise in patience and suffering i get SO squicked out#by how much the horrible characters and situations mirror the insanity of what's happening in real life#also the revelation that some of the actors are Exactly as shitty as their characters are is. ugh.#but every time i'm like okay i can't take it i need to stop to protect my headspace#i think of kimiko and am like.... no... i need to see my gir....#hope karen gets jucy roles in other shows too PLEASE#the boys#kimiko miyashiro#karen fukuhara#theboysedit#tvedit
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post-graduation trip airport looks
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jujutsu kaisen fanart#these took ages but fr once i am choosing to forgive myself given th fact tht i was coming out of A State when i drew them#im normal now dw drawing the first years wearing merch of my comfort content fixed me#when in doubt play dress up. life hack#i am holding fast 2 my hc tht megumi is a fiend @ indie platformers and is a household name on the celeste speedrun leaderboards#argue with a wall this is my jujutsu kaisen#megumi designated Drink Runner also#alr in line at a cafe texts their gc 'what do you guys want' n gets mad @ nobara fr making him go to a Second shop 2 get her bubble tea#anyway theres not much 2 say abt these just bc i needed sth Light n Easy 2 get me out of my head#no lore to fashion pieces which is both a blessing and a curse but it Is what i needed#nobara serving looks fr a flight i love u so much. it's probably 8 in the morning n she is in a fully coordinated fit#its so criminal tht we don't have more alt hairstyle official art fr her???? iirc it's Just the lost in paradise mv with her in buns no????#robbed. i am fixing it immediately.#wonder where the 3 of them wld go on a trip
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the ticking time bomb alliance, place your bets on when it'll explode
i'm so excited to see where this team goes, because i do not trust them to make it to the end
#pearlescentmoon#scott smajor#zombiecleo#impulsesv#my art#trafficblr#wild life#wild life smp#the bomb's on scotts face because he needs to stop talking/j#i put 4 G's but i do not know what impulse could be
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it's never the last time.
I was trying to justify to myself having Leona know how to use a waffle maker, and. well. sometimes you just gotta go where the flow takes you.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#tamashina mina#(just because of kifaji)#kifaji: it's four o' clock in the morning why on earth are you making waffles#leona: because i've lost control of my life#anyway i'm trying to be less lazy about my spot-blacking#(because obviously what leona making waffles for a toddler needs is that noir touch)#i know i can still be doing a lot more with it...but it's a start :')
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Try not to think about Roomiesâ unique quirks in showing affection.
How Etho is bit awkward in showing it but craves physical touch, discovers that forehead touches work for him. And both Cleo and Grian recognise it and put an effort to reciprocate it.
How Grian wants to do things to show his appreciation for his team, it coming out with him bringing trinkets or spending quality time with his loved ones. How both Cleo and Etho accept his need to feel wanted and make sure to always have some physical reminder from their beloved avian.
How Cleo likes to see her boys happy. How sometimes to make it happen, they would manhandle them in the most playful way, with some extra forehead kisses to sweeten the deal.
Now try not to think about it
#does anyone think about these things#i love them so much#i would love to make stickers out of them#would anyone be interested?#fanart#secret life roomies#trafficblr#grian#zombiecleo#ethoslab#roomies my beloved#secret life#art#avi art#i need more roomies content in my life even if i gotta be the one to do it#the roomies
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growing up!
#FALLS TO THE FLOOR!!!!#so shocking news: the silver artbook actually killed me a little. this is the first finished pic ive made since#wow isnt it crazy that 26 completed illustrations would kinda take it outta ya. bananas. i need to Not do a full bg again for a minute#i had the stupid thought like 'oohhgh i could do a series of silver and lilia as hes growing up!!' im HITTING ME!!! NO MORE SERIES!!!#I CAN DO NON-RELATED PICS OF THAT IF I MUST!!! THE PRESSURE OF A SERIES IS TOO TIRING RN!!!!#my life is a whirlwind i JUST moved and now might need to move again bc the nepotism might work and id make a ton more#im trying to sell my house and its going very poorly. im doing well at work. ID HAFTA MOVE ACROSS THE COUNTRY AGAIN#ID BE BACK NOOOORTH id go to pennsylvania <3 im from new york so the thought of being closer to my mom is rly nice#and i have friends there both from high school and ohiiiio and new england etc etc!!!! YAY!!!#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#lilia vanrouge#suntails#did u miss this. be honest. when i vanish for months at a time do u miss the rambling life updates. theyre who i am
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phoenix and the priestess
#artists on tumblr#recently adopted two bunnies with my partner#from the local animal shelter#they're evil criminals#doing poop crimes and trying to climb onto everything#the more forbidden the spot the more they need to get there#and i love them with my entire life#stepping away from the computer#and petting fluffy butts#is truly the best therapy#if i'm ever bored there's always cleaning up to do
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We all know the semi-canonical âall the Robins know to hide/duck inside of Batmanâs cape, even as adultsâ thing.
We also know that Danny âis LITERALLY a ghostâ Fenton sucks at remembering his own intangibility while ALSO forgetting to look ahead of him.
All Iâm saying is, Danny Fenton (or Phantom, if youâd really like) would absolutely SLAM into Batman on accident while running on roof tops and Bruce âBrooding Instinctâ Wayne doesnât even think twice about letting the kid hide and scanning around for danger before thereâs a record scratch of âwait who tf is this?â kicks in.
#dp x dc#dpxdc#dc x dp#dcxdp#danny phantom crossover#listen Iâm just SAYING#my initial thought is Fenton bc dark hair and how most of the robins have had dark hair#Danny isnât even necessarily running from danger. he just got into parkour and forgot how to stop his momentum#I mean you CAN have him running from something. give this an ACTUAL plot#but honestly I just think itâd be a fun little setup#Danny peaks out and. in panic. goes#hi weâre the council of the dead. weâve been trying to contact you and yours about your extended warranty#*extended life warranty or what have you#Danny hasnât even gotten death vibes from anyone yet so now he has to wing it#yeah hi⌠uh. Batman sir. if thatâs your preferred moniker?#right so weâre basically the ghost irs and you owe death taxes?#yeah you know the saying. death and taxes. guarantees of life. haha.#which in this case means you owe money bc you arenât dead yet. probably. idk I uh. JUST got the job .#anyways ohhhh hi yep youâre. red hood. yeah so. mm. yeah we definitely need to get you to the ghostly dmv#itâs the same as a regular dmv but people have actually been bored to death in there#(meanwhile Batman is like WAIT IS THIS SMALL CHILD DEAD?!)#(SURE WHATEVER IM RICH HOW DO I FIND A GHOST ACCOUNTANT AND MORE IMPORTANTLY DO YOU RESPECT GHOST ADOPTIONS?)
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between your teeth definitelynottober - day 7
#pearlescentmoon#double life#double life smp#trafficblr#my art#never drew dl pearl srsly i dont think. so i thought tdy was a good chance to do it >:D#argh i need to do bg more tho maybe tmr hmmmmm#definitelynottober#definitelynottober2024#I KEEP FORGETTIGN TO PUT THE ACTUAL TAGS BUT I REMEMBERED JUST NOW LOL
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based on this tweet by @fairy527 :3 thought they were all similar in the way things went with their partners so i drew them together
#everyone rbing this i Need you to watch infinity train. please watch it it changed my life#and if youve already watched it then watch it again#do it for amelia. do it for her#I â¤ď¸ COMBINING MY INTERESTS#YAAAAY#thank you fairy again for the worms#amelia hughes#stanford pines#simon petrikov#infinity train#gravity falls#adventure time#felix art
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im preparing to need hospitilzation after this scene in wicked part 2
#wicked#fiyero#elphaba thropp#fiyero tigelaar#fiyeraba#erm#wicked 2024#wicked part one#as long as youre mine#i do think cynthia erivo had such great chemistry with both ariana and johnathan#as a fan of the musical and this song...im going to need life support#johnathan bailey...my beloved#help#art#doodle
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oops, still feral over pre-war Dead End Dratchet
(drift: you're rusting at every joint gasket: but isn't that doctor chummy with the cops? we're literal thieves??)
started with the headcanon that drift hung around the clinic like a feral wet cat for a while, then halfway through shading these, I started thinking, what if deadlock was an especially reliable assassin because he knew what kind of damage would make sure that even the best of the best couldn't bring you back
#couple million years later#ratchet is performing autopsies and very determinedly not thinking about teaching that one kid which energon lines are most volatile#you ever get this image in your head of a guy lurking around the guy who saved his life and then think#guess i need to design a clinic#but because your dumb brain needs context you think i guess i need to design the surroundings so you start a daytime wide shot too#and then an even dumber part of your brain is like let's do it all in that fake etching style that you haven't totally worked out yet#and then you also get sad about gasket so you stick him in too#they're done at least we achieved something aaaaaaa????#transformers idw#maccadam#tf drift#dratchet#tf ratchet#ratchet#gasket#drift#mtmte#my art
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#goodtimeswithscar#wild life#life series spoilers#my art#do I really need to tag spoiler for an episode released six days ago#Anyway looks for tomorrow⌠Todayâs finale.#trafficblr
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shout out to my folks with insomnia & depression & delayed sleep phase disorder & sleep apnea & disabilities & other sleep disorders diagnosed, undiagnosed, and just my plain old night owls & night shift workers!! we r so fucking cool & exist every day in a society not made for us at all. and NONE of us are lazy bums or bad people for staying up late & sleeping in till noon or two or whatever whenever you get up!! no matter what anyone says!! youâre incredible and i love you!!!
#being the positivity i need in the world#would i like to get up earlier and love my life? yes. but i canât fuckin do that can i#i recognize the irony of posting this at 11:30 however iâm at work and fuckin tired#text#positivity#insomnia#depression#delayed sleep phase disorder#sleep apnea#also shout out to nightmare nation i hope we get good rest soon!!!!!
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happy solvermas
#cause t. no actually if christ is the son of god and the solver is god then it'd be like uzimas#quick sketch i pulled out of my ass yesterday to see if i could get myself out of art block/burnout/whatever ive got going on#v was added after cause i had no idea how to work her into the scene#implied nuziv or something look man im just desperate about this ship#and i dont know how to draw fluff or whatever#im so bad at romance i dont know how to express it#but i've been desperately trying to draw nuziv for the past months#i think this is actually like some of my best linework yet im really satisfied with everything right now#been a long time since i've felt that#turns out the âstop overthinking every pixel of the expressions and just draw the approximation the audience will get the jistâ approach wo#ks#something something n is the star of their life. tree light chrismtas#it is taking. All of my restraint right now#to not be So Mean to all of you#You Don't Even Know#I Could Do Something. I Might Still.#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#uzi doorman#murder drones n#serial designation n#murder drones v#serial designation v#murder drones cyn#i need liam to explain whether cyn and the solver are the same person already so i can tag them appropriately its driving me nuts#oh yeah cyn got a plush core to chew on by the way#the idea of giving her a chew toy was rolling around in my head and i think its a very funny visual so here we are
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