#i do like this painting actually :) yay
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overgrowth and languor
[recommended you click and zoom] (alt versions below)
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#eyestrain#HI i am So kinda proud of this actually#still can't tell if it looks nice but!!!#//click and zoom piece again !! i was starting to think i had just given up on ever doing that again hvbhs#//!!!!#so happy i've finally finished it yay!!!#ik i used to average like working 2 days on a piece at one point but i was not nonstop-working on those so lol#//tried something with the background!!#and the inks!!#drew a cat which is very swag!!#the colours are a WHOLE new thing and i love colours that are yellow on the wheel but brown on the canvas!!#REALLY love the blue one (i wanted to have a night version and that's close enough :D)!!#i like the little orange painting in the background (a LOT)!!#overall i am changing my verdict and saying Yeah i AM happy with this lol#//but yeah gonna go post on artstreet now lol :3
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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thank you
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paintover a scribble from last year but every time i open the file it gets worse
whydid he look so so awkward.....
#sorry for like . gestures at the entire img#its so stiff because the scribble .is definitely something#whole body shudder etc#i wasnt happy with it last year but i didnt bother fixing it the rest of my art doesnt look like that which makes it funnier#actyally it was cute eming and sparkles and it was sillyand nice#idk where the blood and horrors came from i should never touch my ipad again#this is the depressive episode showing through the art (←just likes painting blood)#umm ok yay i promise ill draw cute hualian soon all ive actually been drawing is sqx and jc ^_^#i have to do owed art but my brain is like . not working#sorry ab that i will get to those soon i promise#ok thats all#art tag#tgcf#hua cheng
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found some custom brushes for medibang paint
#klavquill#klavier gavin#simon blackquill#ace attorney#my art#digital art#medibang paint pro#ace attorney fanart#aa fanart#fanart#rarepair#ace attorney rarepair#artists on tumblr#i actually rly like this yay yippe#best side profiles i've ever drawn (i do not draw them often)#i had to repost this because i realized i drew simon's chest wrong. yeah. you're welcome.#klaver not having his stupid rings or his stupid necklace is intentional (i did not want to draw them) (ummmm getting ready)#(he just did not put them on yet. please)#looks so diff from my last piece but also that one took me six days#and i was fighting literally every second of them#whereas this one was more laidback and only took like. one day#one thing that will stay the same tho is adding blush on simon#i love making the 6 foot ex convict who can break thru metal shackles easily flustered it is a reward
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Mspaint is really fun actually—
#castlevania#castlevania games#simon belmont#castlevania ii#castlevania simon’s quest#simon’s quest#castlevania ii: simon's quest#akumajo dracula#akumajou dracula#art post#my art#art wip#the colors are definitely a bit off in photos augh#eventually once it’s done I’ll be able to put the actual image tho#listened to a lot of malice mizer songs I hadn’t heard yet drawing this :3#I’ve been trying to actually get into visual kei properly cause I love how the genre sounds and have been listening to Gackt since forever#but I kept putting off doing it for some reason 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#does anyone else get the thing where you go ‘oh yeah this band is so good’#and then listen to like maybe the same three songs over and over and over again (X X ;)#yeahg anyway Simon again yay :3#augh I really wanna actually work on comic ideas for him but aaaaaaa#another thing does anyone else like suddenly stop being able to do things like ok#I’ll want to do something and then get ready to do it and suddenly lose all energy and drive for it for no reason#and I still! want! to do it! augh!#but I’ll put my hand to paper and it’ll go limp like I’ve never held a pencil like bro come on don’t do this to me now 💀💀💀#I’ll be able to start some new mspaint painting totally fine tho (XwX)#I’m pretty positive I have something mentally wrong with me tbh high suspicion of autism maybe adhd could be depression who knows idk#ack anyway drawing the tragically beautiful 1600s vampire hunter about it
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"Impressive work, Miss Vance..."
(more wip shots of this under the cut)
#my art#half life#half life alyx#gman#spolier#the funny man in his funny cube...#anyway. hello. finished this thing off if you can even tell a difference from the wip lol#'finished off'... more like got tired of it because i actually don't like painting very much???#this is the g-mans fault. i painted 3 canvases of him already. he made me do this lol#added some lightning effects and reinforced the barriers here.. they had some kind of funny pattern but i didn't bother with it...#if it looks rushed - that's because it is haha#i was actually surprised the wip got as much traction as it did?? like hello guys my finished gman art is right there what are you DOING /l#also yay more wips featuring my messy aah desk#hope this blows up too /j#moonlight rambles
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been really into fishges lately......... trying to get better at painting also :3c
#working on this painting for an assignment rn that might actually be the death of me#decided to do a) funky perspective b) have hands as a major focal point c) spent like 2 weeks planning it out cause I am incapable of-#making decisions ever and d) kinda hate how it looks so far#so now I'm behind in my art class of all things :D#it ok though i'll learn stuff!!!!!!! all that junk!!!!!! I will learn and grow!!!!!!!#also been kinda inactive oops going through it and too busy anymore for most things that bring me joy#including :( my beloved ocs :( sniffle#anyway ramblings and complainings of a madman over now FISHES YAY HAD A LOT OF FUN WITH THESE ^_^#squirrel art#fishes#aquatic life#artists of Tumblr#traditional art
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Your watercolor piece is so BEAUTIFUL!!! its so hard to see fanart of traditional media and you absolutely *ate* with that one 🥹 the colors are so delicate and i love all the white space you left in between
aaaaa thank you!! always happy to see people be excited about traditional art :D
#asks#rebelwithoutabroom#honestly always makes my day when people get excited about seeing fanart done traditionally#Im gonna rant a moment in the tags now since Ive seen a few people bring up the composition and all that#I was!!! very much influenced by old illustrations to the OG three musketeers#and also very much inspired by the works of the illustrators of the golden age of illustration#(I got to see some harry clarke pieces in person so I kinda went digging thru it)#I was actually about to ditch the entire idea at one point!#really liked the thought of it but not the execution#so I looked thru all these classic artists of the golden age#and then picked up my antique artbook of ludwig richter (his art is really lovely go look him up)#and while going thru the pages I kinda just realised that oh yeah I can just. fake the background#the side alley with the arches is a bit of a weakness of mine#whenever Im on holiday and see one I have to take pictures#I did actually do an illustration in a very similar setting with a similar angle last summer#so I decided to put it down on paper and hey. not bad#I really enjoyed painting this one I like how soft the watercolours came out#it actually looks like watercolour this time! yay!#(I say to myself demeaningly because I aspire to paint like luděk marold one day)#but yes the archway of the alley kinda forms a frame around dream and george#and then you have sapnap breaking it by his fall and his stuff scattered on the floor Outside the frame#all while george is stepping out of the frame to pursue him and dream clutching his arm like 'baby no :((('#and the very light ivy clinging to the wall calls back to the ornate frames of flowers that were used in illustration a lot#i need to do more of these. I really hope to tbh#I had a really good time painting this one#Ive had a really good time painting in general as of late. missed this
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You know I thought for awhile that I was just a rare type of person who sure, liked people well enough but was okay being alone didn't necessarily need anyone and NO. NO. NO. OH MY GOD . YOU GIANT DUMBASS. NO HAHAHA NOOO NOPE
#tide of consciousness#See what was confusing me is usually when people talk about life partner they mean romantically sexually#And also I have yet to meet someone who gets me in the way I want someone to get me <- I think <- good chance I have and squandered it#<- that may be the evil brain talking though#But anyway so I was misconstruing the fact that the people I know and like currently are not people I want to spend my life with#With the idea that there is no one and no chance I will ever want that#And also heteronormative allo society despite my best efforts Is in my brain#And I'm only just realizing how badly I would really like to find a person or maybe people who do make me feel like. I could want that#The idea that there could be someone out there that I would want to spend my time and space with forever is mind blowing#Because honestly and this is of course the mental illness but I have kind of been under the assumption that maybe I am just like. Weeell#Evil and broken and cruel and selfish and HAHA. you know. The usual#Because you know only recently I got my first taste of 'a person is actively choosing you and wants you over all things'#And then I fucked that up because that was my first time believing anyone could care about me and you know you always fuck that one up#And that sucked and is still in the process of sucking but it has also made me realize#That there is actually a way that I would want that. Maybe#Like in a way that worked. I'd really like to have a person like that maybe#And honestly that's a nightmare to have to realize#Because before it was like hey! I guess I just don't have to worry about that!#And now I'm like FUCK. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS#because special secret I've never actively tried to connect to people in my life ever#I don't know how you do that! I don't know how to actively form relationships!#I just wait for someone to grab me and pull me along! It's terrifying to think about trying to discover that#AT 20!#I know it's not unusual especially in this day and age in fact it's kind of an epidemic#But you're supposed to learn how to socialize when you're a little tiny baby!!! I don't want to figure this out now I can't even get a job!#Fucking shit that's a lot of words um#Every 6 months I remember that I'm deeply deeply deeply lonely and it's the worst and then I wilfully ignore it until I rediscover it again#Every day I discover a new layer to how utterly wretchedly self loathing my brain is and its the worst#Peeling back a layer of paint and surprise! You've subconsciously thought you were fine being alone because secretly you believe#That it is impossible for you to be anything but alone! Yay!
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painting on one or two layers has seriously been So good for me lately....like wild how such a minimal change has completely changed how i feel about my paintings
#pers#its much like when i do traditional stuff in just pen. lie it just feels good i like it. smile#you have no idea the number of layers i used to use. it aws EXTREME.#im also feeling so much better about colors....like i used to have to color correct at the end and now when i do that it looks worse#cause i like the actual colors i chose so much better. PAINTING YAY
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world's normalest guy spends $100 on nendoroid parts
#txt#tbd#i triple checked and still messed up the neck peg part of the order AGAIN LOL so ill have to tell em its fine#its birthday money so its fine . .. i need more projects#i bought two projects worth of parts this time :3#so i will space it out and have a good whiles worth of work to do! and then i will have two more little guys!#i have potentially three more after that to make but#im hopingggg for a specific part to come in stock#before ordering for any of those#alsooo i might need to restock materials after this batch#i might even need more colors of paint for this but we'll see what i can mox#mix *#id also like to make custom stands for them!#i have an official nendo now !! thanks to my bf :3 so i have the real thing to reference if i do make some#im so !! i love working on these#and itd be fun to have a whole array of my oc figures in the Real#i actually found hairs that work shockingly well for my othrr 2 characters which like#have strange haircuts to find so i was surprised#the hair thatd be perfect for one of the other three characters is out of stock .. i havent found any others like it#ANYWAY#ineed to get one of these fucking jobs to hire me so i can spend my paychecks on the hobby instead pff#but birthday money is fine#yay yay#love u guys !!
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need you - Chris Sturniolo
summary: after a lot of convincing, you finally convince your best friend, chris, to take away your biggest insecurity. being a virgin.
contains: fluff, smut, needy!reader, gentle!chris, virginity loss, a lot of praise.
-----------------└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘-----------------
i lay on chris's chest, as scrolls through his phone. my eyes fixed on his long fingers, swiping across his screen.
chris puts his phone down before looking at me. "y/n..." he speaks up with a small laugh,
i sit up off his warm chest, my back now resting against the headboard. "hm?' i hum in response,
"whats up with you?" he asks, fixing my hair.
"nothing." i fidget with my hands,
a lot was up, actually. my biggest insecurity is that i'm almost 21, and a total virgin. chris doesn't know this, the subject has never really been brought up between us. but i see him so often, and i've known him forever! it wouldn't hurt to ask him to take my virginity?
"i've known you for like- 6 years, i always know when somethings up." chris smiles, pushing my shoulder lightly.
"i'm okay- i promise." i laugh nervously.
chris stares at me blankly, his eyes roaming over my face. he knows i'm lying.
the silence grows as he waits for an actual answer out of me. i fidget with my bracelet, avoiding eye contact with chris.
"can i ask you something..." i whisper, finally looking up at chris.
"uh oh." he mutters,
"shut up- i'm trying to be serious" i scoff, chris reaches out and grabs both of my hands, holding them.
"you may talk to me" chris forces a stupid voice,
"you are such an idiot." i groan, throwing my head back.
"no- tell me!" chris cuts me off,
"okay, but you have to promise to not bully me forever- like actually if you say no to this i will rot away from embarrasment" i ramble,
confusion grows on chris's face by the second.
he nods, waiting for me to say something.
"im- i'm a.. you know?" i whisper,
chris shakes his head with confusion painted across his face, "a criminal?"
"no! a virgin- chris i'm a total virgin." i sigh,
"what does this have to do with me?" chris laughs, his cheeks a light shade of pink
"i want you to fuck me." i blurt out, clasping a hand over my mouth.
"what?" he responds, his eyes widening and his chest rising and falling dramatically.
"please..?" i whisper, avoiding eye contact with him.
he runs a hand through his hair,
"i don't want things to be weird between us y/n," chris states seriously,
"they won't be, it'll just be one time-" i protest,
"look- i think you're a very attractive young woman-" chris starts but i cut him off,
"you sound like my dad!" i whine,
he grabs my chin, making me look at him, "just listen- okay?'
i nod, he lets go of my chin.
"i want you to think if this is actually what you want- because i'm thinking that just is a desperation type thing." chris says,
"i'm not desperate, i just dont want to die a virgin!"
chris looks around the room,
"please- just one time?" i ask, he stays silent
"then we don't have to speak about it again- i just need you to fuck me once" i continue,
chris lets out a chuckle,
"what. is. funny!" i say with frustration laced in my voice,
"i never thought you would be begging for me to have sex with you" he grins widely,
i let out a laugh, "shush"
"c'mon- just teach me how to-" i ramble again, but chris cuts me off,
"okay- fine- lets just do it" he smiles, covering his face
i clap, "yay!"
he scoffs, "you're stupid."
"i don't care, so- where do we start?" i smile nervously,
he stands up off the bed and walks over to the door, locking it.
"um-- do you ever do stuff with yourself?" chris asks, walking over to me and standing above me by the bed.
"yeah." i reply, chris nods understandingly,
"like what?" he asks, i hesitate before answering,
“just stuff with my hands.” i say, fidgeting with my bracelet,
“okay- yeah that’s perfect! see your not a total virgin.” chris smiles at me,
i scoff as i sit up, cross legged on the matress as i wait for some sort of instruction.
“right- well.” chris stammers,
“you’ve done this before right?” i tease earning a flick from chris,
“obviously, i’m just not sure how you want to do this.” he rolls his eyes,
“i’ll do anything you tell me to chris.” i say, locking eyes with him.
“yeah?” he grins, reaching down and tugging up my shirt.
his long, cold fingers graze against my bare skin.
i feel the fabric of my shirt slide up off my body, leaving my in my dark red, lacy bra.
his eyes just roam over my body, his chest rising and falling.
“you’re really pretty, you know that?” he breathes out, tugging off his white wife beater.
i cover my flushed face with my hands, chris pulls my hands away from me.
“let me see that pretty face.” he praises, making my heart thump.
his hand snakes to the waistband of my sweatpants, he pulls them down my body, i lift my hips off the mattress for easier access.
he drags out each touch, his fingers just grazing over my bare skin as he runs his spare hand through his locks.
i lay bare on the matress below chris, the only thing covering me being my thin panties and bra.
“can i take these off?” he asks, tracing an outline along the outside of my panties.
“yes- do anything you want-“ i almost beg,
he tugs down my underwear, shoving them in his pocket nonchalantly,
“christopher!” i laugh, he shrugs cluelessly with a guilty smile.
“i better get those back.” i state,
“we’ll see.” he says under his breath,
he stares very obviously at my soaked core, i look at his crotch, which has a very obvious tent in it.
“so pretty.” he coos, finally reaching down and dragging his middle finger across my slit.
“oh chris.” i moan lightly with his feathering touch.
“so sensitive aren’t we?” he says with a smug smile,
i nod desperately,
chris removes his hand from me to tug down his black jorts, letting them pool at his ankles.
he tugs down his boxers,
my mouth falls open gently, my eyes fixed on his length.
he’s big, bigger than what i’ve ever seen in movies and shit.
my heart rate picks up, i sit up on my elbows.
“chris- chris that’s gonna hurt- that’s not gonna work-“ i panic, words frantically spilling out of my mouth.
he sits down on the matress beside me, clasping a hand over my mouth.
“you’re boosting my ego.” he laughs, taking his hand away from my mouth.
“no chris- actually that’s not gonna happen!”
he looks at me, a small laugh exiting his moth before he speaks.
“it doesn’t have to hurt, it might be a little bit uncomfortable because it’s your first time, but i promise that i’ll go super duper slow.”
god, the man who’s about to take my virginity just said ‘super duper’
“and if you want me to stop at any time we will stop, and take a break, then see if you’re still feeling up for it. if not then there’s always another day!” he smiles warmly, rubbing my inner thigh.
“yeah?” he follows up,
“yeah.” i nod eagerly.
he stands up, before tugging me to the edge of the bed, my legs dangling off the side of the matress.
he stands between my legs, rubbing my thigh continuously.
“you’re so gorgeous.” he sighs,
his erection rests against my thigh, making this all feel so real.
he reaches between my thighs and dips a finger inside of me quite suddenly.
i gasp, his finger is a lot longer than mine.
he curls it against a spot which is driving me crazy.
“just gotta stretch you out real quick.” he says to me,
it feels so wrong, so dirty. having my bestfriend of 6 years about to be inside of me, his words making me crumble. god- if he knew how long i have been wanting this he would kill me.
he slowly teases his second finger at my entrance before pushing inside of me slowly,
“chris-“ i moan lightly,
he bends over, hovering above me so our faces are face to face, so intimate.
my hand reaches up and grips his arm, squeezing it.
he scissors his fingers apart inside of me, stretching me around his hand.
“you- are so tight.” he breathes with a small laugh,
“can’t wait to feel you around my cock, already feel so good around my fingers don’t you?” he teases, i arch my back off the bed.
he slowly pulls his fingers out of me, “chris i wasn’t finished-“ i whine,
“shh- don’t want you to cum yet.” he smiles, wiping his fingers on my thigh.
he steps out from between my thighs, walking over to his bedside table.
“where are you going?” i pant,
he holds up a condom,
“no- i don’t want that.” i protest,
“we need it sweetheart, as much as i love you i am not getting you pregnant.” he laughs,
“i’m on birth control.” i state,
he looks at me, “oh- shit okay!” he bites back a smile.
he goes back between my legs,
“just gonna give you a little bit at a time, you tell me if it’s too much or too fast.”
i nod, he lines himself up with me.
i reach out and grip his his hand, holding it tight while his tip presses against my entrance.
i squeeze my eyes shut,
“look at me, take a nice deep breath for me okay?”
i suck in a sharp breath,
chris pushes inside of me,
his tip stretches my walls slowly, a pathetic whimper escapes from my throat,
jesus christ.
christopher sturniolo, my childhood bestfriend, is inside of me.
“good girl, fuuck..” he sighs, moving the stray bits of hair infront of my face away from me.
“you can take a little more, can’t you?” he breathes,
i nod, he pushes slightly deeper inside of me.
“oh chris- fuck!” i moan softly, squeezing his hand.
“taking me so well, so so good.” he praises, making me clench around him.
a low groan falls from his mouth as he pushes further, and deeper inside of me.
tears prickle in my eyes from the burning stretch, which chris seems to pick up on.
“hey- don’t get upset, you’re doing so good, you’re not a virgin anymore!” chris smiles
he pushes the rest of the way inside of me, “look at that..” he sighs, at the closed gap between our hips.
“you okay?” he says, wiping my watering eyes with a sympathetic grin.
“i’m- full.” i whisper with a small smile,
“i know you are, aren’t you?” chris grins, just resting inside of me, allowing me to get used to his length.
“can i move?” he asks, “yes- please chris.” i reply
he slowly rocks his hips back and forth, he hovers above my face, breathing heavily into my neck.
small groans and grunts fall from his mouth, straight into my ear.
after several thrusts the pain fades into pleasured
suddenly i feel chris’s lips connect with my neck, sucking on the plush of the skin.
he gradually starts to quicken his pace, “chris! fuck- fuck chris oh my god!” i arch my back off the matress
he reaches down where our bodies meet and brushes my sensitive clit,
“you feel so good, taking me so well.” chris mutters into my neck,
“you look so pretty with me so deep inside of you.” he whispers,
i grip his back, my nails running up and down his bare skin.
the intense pressure in my stomach builds with each thrust,
i look down, a clear stomach bulge is imprinted in my stomach.
that’s enough to tip me over the edge, i clench around him, finally releasing,
“good girl- so good, let it all go.” he says in between jolted breaths.
he thrusts a few more times before finishing inside of me, my eyes widen as i feel the warm sensation.
he stays buried inside of me as he flops down on my chest
his floppy hair rests on my face, as he buries his face in my neck.
i stroke his hair as i come down from my high, too stunned to speak.
“you’re so pretty.” he mumbles,
i let out a small flustered laugh,
“are you okay? not hurt or anything?” he mutters quietly into my shoulder
“i’m- good.” i giggle,
chris slowly lifts himself off of me before pulling out with a slick pop.
i groan from the emptiness, “mooreee.” i whine,
“you are definitely too sensitive for that.” he smiles, rubbing my thigh before walking over to his closet
he pulls out a sweater and some sweatpants before walking over to me.
he redresses me slowly, his eyes still roaming over every inch of my body.
he tugs on his clothes aswell before jumping into bed beside me, launching me a couple inches into the air.
he rests his back against the headboard before tugging me onto his lap quickly.
he presses a kiss to my forehead, “you did so good.”
i smile, resting against him.
a silence grows between us,
chris breaks the silence with a bold statement
“look- i’m just gonna say this, but i think i’m gonna have to be inside of you again at some point-“ he rambles
“i thought you insisted on it being a one time thing christopherrr” i poke his chest with a grin,
“i know- i know but please? maybe like friends with benefits type thing..” he suggests fidgeting with his hands
“i don’t want things to be different between us.” i laugh
“they won’t! i promise it will be the exact same apart from the fact.. you know.. i get to fuck you..?” he protests
“weren’t you teasing me an hour ago for ‘begging to have sex with you?’” i giggle,
“okay but that was then- this is now!” he whines
“fine chris, we can fuck sooometimes.”
—————-
this taglist is actually getting insane
@sturngirly @stellasturnzz @beccaluvschris @iammattsturniolo @issysh3ll @mattssluttygf @sturnslcver @arianatheway @mattybsgroupie @sturn1ololuvr @tisiablack @jessie-essie @demzzz
@downbad4reid
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“You think people ever look at us and wonder why you would be with me?” Rafayel had frozen in place, his hand mid paint stroke as he gazed down at you from his ladder. You’d been curled up on the couch, watching him comfortably while your thoughts took a depressing turn that was anything but comfortable. “No,” he’d said, “absolutely not. No one in their right mind would think that.”
contains: afab reader, edging, rafayel making reader praise themselves, rafayel speaks in hindi, probably ooc and with grammatical errors sorry i wrote this all in like one hour at 10 PM and i was crying for half of it
it's been a while since my own insecurities have actually given me the creative kick to write something like this, so sucks to be insecure i guess, but yay fic!!!!
Insecurity. What a bitch.
It’s life-ruining, at its worst. It makes you look into the mirror and imagine even the reflection looking back and sneering at what it sees. It makes your heart pound as you walk in public, wondering how many people would smile once they get the privilege of losing sight of you. It makes you sob at night when you’re alone, mind knowing that there is no one in the world who is uniquely terrible, but your heart convinced that you’re the exception.
It makes you say something, accidentally, to your boyfriend.
“You think people ever look at us and wonder why you would be with me?”
Rafayel had frozen in place, his hand mid paint stroke as he gazed down at you from his ladder. You’d been curled up on the couch, watching him comfortably while your thoughts took a depressing turn that was anything but comfortable.
“No,” he’d said, “absolutely not. No one in their right mind would think that.”
If you’d been more acute in the moment, you might have heard the warning in his voice, the irk of a god who has just had his most precious jewel taunted.
But you’d continued instead. “They would. You’re so handsome, so gorgeous. Ethereal. Not to mention incredibly talented. And I love you, and I think we’re really compatible personality wise, but looks…you have to admit you could do a lot better.”
It was then you’d began to note how it felt much hotter in the studio than it had a few minutes ago. Like there was an unseen furnace, prickling with an angry fire about to grow into an inferno.
Rafayel’s voice had been, ironically, icy. “How could I do better than you?”
“C’mon, be real, Raf.” It had been hard to keep the pain out of your words, and impossible to keep the thoughts choking you inside. You’d started to plead, some part of you convinced that it would help if he would simply agree that your every insecurity was valid. “I’m not a supermodel. I’m not a genius. I’m not an angel, either. There’s nothing about me that’s extraordinary. Not like you are.”
And then he’d moved.
And now, you’re still on the couch, crying out brokenly with nothing to grip onto, as his hand holds your wrists above your head, and his cock thrusts in and out of you in the most maddening pace you’ve ever experienced.
He’s never been like this. When you plead, Rafayel gives in. He is weak to you, as he’s shown time and time again. But not today. No matter how much you beg with teary eyes for him to go faster, he shakes his head, slowing down even more. With a punishing growl, he pushes all the way in, and all the way out, leaving your drooling cunt clenching around nothing.
It’s torture. Pure and simple.
“What was it you said?” he breathes harshly, leaning down to press hot kisses on your neck that burn so perfectly you sob. “Ethereal? Talented? A supermodel?”
“Rafayel,” you gasp. He ignores it. His eyes are a violent shade of purple, the most dangerous you’ve ever seen them. There are scales blooming all over his body, as though denying you is the key to awake this dormant side of him, to make you submit.
“I’ll give you what you want,” he whispers, biting and leaving a fresh bruise planted on your skin. “Just tell me what I want to hear. Go on.”
He pulls out and you feel the tears running down your cheeks.
“Say, ‘I’m beautiful.’”
In.
“Say, ‘I’m gorgeous.’”
Out.
“Say, “I’m fucking ethereal.’”
You can taste salt from your own sobs, both from being denied, and from the unimaginable cruelty of having to praise yourself. It’s impossible. You want the reward so bad, but you can’t claw your way to it, because the rules are too imposing. The conditions, blinding.
“Be real,” he taunts, repeating your own words back to you, “come on, start easy. ‘I’m pretty.’ Go on.”
Heaving in a breath, you taste the bitter words on your tongue. “I-I’m pretty.”
Your back arches off the couch as he rewards you with his fingers on your clit, rubbing soft circles while he’s inside you. “Mmhm. You are. And?”
“Please, Rafayel.” You’re clenching so tight around him, and you can see from how he shudders that it pains him just as much as it pains you, this wait, this little game of keep-away. “Please don’t make me—“
You’re cut off by his hand cupping your cheeks, and his lips stealing a salty, breathless kiss. “Meri pyaari gurya,” he groans, kissing you again, “meri chand.” Kiss. “Meri humsafar.” Kiss. “Mine, mine, mine.” Kiss, kiss, kiss. "Do you think I keep anything that isn’t worthy of the Sea God?”
You shut your eyes, crying harder. The logic is loud, but your thoughts are louder. He’s only saying it to reassure you, he’s only saying it to be nice, he’s only saying it because he pities you…
“Meri dulhaniya,” he saves for last, because he knows it’ll break you, “I have nowhere to be. I’m fine staying buried inside you, all day and all night, while your sweet little pussy gushes for me. I’ll bring you to the brink, again and again, but I won’t let you cum, my pretty muse, because either you admit that you’re the most beautiful human in this world, or I’ll fuck it into you till you forget otherwise.”
Trembling, you open your eyes. There is nothing but conviction in his gaze. Conviction, and hunger.
And you realize two very important things. One, that your stamina is nothing compared to his, and you will never hold out against him, and two, that is not something one does out of pity, but out of unyielding, undying adoration.
“I’m,” you swallow, cheeks burning, “beautiful.”
A sharp thrust of his hips makes you moan his name, mouth falling open as he kisses you deeply, and you swear you can feel him hardening even more inside you.
“I’m gorgeous.”
“Yes,” Rafayel hisses, fingers rubbing your clit to match his thrusts.
Eyes rolling back, you cry out, “I-I’m…”
“Fucking ethereal,” he provides, and you think you can feel fire flicking from his lips on your cheeks.
“Fucking ethereal,” you whine, pulling him into a kiss this time.
His hips slam against yours and you cry out against his mouth as his tongue ravages yours. There is nothing Rafayel hates more than someone misunderstanding his art, least of all the art itself.
Your toes curl and your nerves are electrified, everything fading away except you and Rafayel, and his cock and his fingers and his lips, and the couch he’s pounding you into, and you tug at his hair and practically scream as you cum.
He’s still softly licking at your lips as you come down from your high, chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. The air escaping you is light, and for the first time in a long time, there is nothing stuck in your chest, a soft fluttery feeling replacing the heaviness that you’ve been carrying what feels like your whole life.
Gazing back up your lover, you cradle his face, noticing that his lovely purple hues have morphed into an even lovelier pink, only a second before you notice he hasn’t cum yet.
“That’s a good start,” Rafayel whispers, capturing your lower lip between his teeth and tugging.
It bounces back into place for him to kiss softly, before he continues, “Now, let’s try ‘most beautiful human in the world.’ If you get there, I might consider letting you have a break.”
#love and deepspace#rafayel x reader#rafayel smut#lads smut#l&ds#love and deepspace rafayel#rafayel x mc#rafayel#valkyrie stories
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i feel like my soul is dying and im suffocating because i havent made any type of art in ages
#and yet i feel like i cant#i feel like i dont have the time or the energy to actually paint or draw or anything#i just suffer#so yay me#i feel like im being crushed by so many things that i have to do and things that i want to do#i feel like i dont have room for art#but that just makes me feel like i cant breathe#i just want to make art#i just want to breathe#personal
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drunk in love | pair yang jungwon x fem genre best friends to lovers fluff drunk au wc est. 07-08k aquadios says : first post for the new acc YAY
a sigh escapes your lips for the umpteenth time as you drum your fingers against the steering wheel of your cold car. you’ve been sitting in the parking lot of a busy restaurant waiting for your best friend to appear, given the frantic texts from his friends saying he was too drunk to function.
finally, his figure emerges from the restaurant, stumbling on his feet as his friends try to keep him up straight. you frowned—jungwon wasn’t one to indulge himself in drinks—definitely not when his friends were heavy drinkers themselves.
“oh, jungwon,” you shake your head while keeping your eyes on the blonde. he was smiling and giggling about something, but his gaze was trained in on your car and as he got closer, he found himself walking faster.
although you had expected him to be more intoxicated, he found his way around your car and towards the window of the drivers side.
“you came for me,” jungwon leans in once you roll the window all the way down. “been here for an hour actually.” you smile softly.
jungwon tilts his head, his newly dyed hair falls to the side and he smells like whiskey. to you, your best friend was undeniably beautiful—everyone knew that—but if felt wrong for you to think those things.
jungwon was a friend to you, always has been; however, recently, your heart has been telling your brain something else. mixed signals seemed to be the only feelings you could conjure up about yang jungwon. he was a confusing boy and those confusing actions were reflecting the light you saw him in.
the once beige colors you’ve seen him in began to morph into explosions of red and blue and pink and any other color you could think of. he was turning your life into a splattered painting.
and it’s terrifying.
“ah, i’m sorry baby. you should’ve came in, i would’ve brought you a drink.” he leans his exhausted head against your car while closing his eyes.
you’re grateful he chose to close his eyes the second the heat from your nervous stomach ran up to your cheeks. “i need to drive you home jungwon, i’m not drinking.” you whisper, only because you’re afraid how hard your voice would give out.
“do you need help getting in the car? i can ask the guys, or i can help you myself—”
your words are cut short when jungwon’s hand weaves behind your head and jerks you forward, dangerously close to his own. your nose is brushing against his and you could smell the faint scent of his natural musk that isn’t overpowered by the alcohol.
“i was thinking about you while i was here,” his fingers that were entangled in your hair began to move you closer.
“i was thinking about how much i’ve wanted to kiss you,” if jungwon wasn’t holding onto your head, it would’ve blown off.
your chest heaved up and down as you try to find the words to say to him but nothing was coming out. your mind was going haywire as your heart was beating uncontrollably to the point it hurt.
he continued, “there’s been so many moments where i just wanted to kiss you but i was too scared i’d ruin everything,” he sighs and his intoxicated breath almost has you under the same spell.
“you wouldn’t ruin anything.” your voice is still a quiet whisper. “i can only do this when i’m drunk.” he knows he’s a coward for doing this when he wasn’t sober.
jungwon shakes his head before leaning into your lips. he tastes like bitter peaches and years of pining as he uses his other hand to cup your jaw.
if it hadn’t been for the door separating you two, jungwon would’ve pulled you insanely close to him until your hearts matched the miles they were racing.
when he pulls away, he leaves even more kisses against your lips like the alcohol wasn’t merely as intoxicating.
jungwon smiles and you reciprocate his with an even wider grin. “you finally did it!” heeseung yanks jungwon out of the window, shaking his entire body by his shoulders.
the boys gather around whilst yelling drunken hoots and praises as if he had just won a noble prize (to jungwon you’re worth more)
though, in the middle of the chaos, jungwon turns to you, his eyes showcase a string of emotions he’s never felt before and you’ve never seen. he’s sure it isn’t the alcohol streaming through his veins or the hugs he’s receiving, it’s you.
what’s better than being drunk? being in love.
© aquadios | collection
#aqua : dios#enhypen#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen oneshots#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen timestamps#enhypen headcanons#enhypen drabbles#enhypen soft hours#enhypen soft thoughts#enhypen fluff#enhypen x reader#enhypen x female reader#enhypen yang jungwon#enhypen jungwon#yang jungwon#jungwon#jungwon enhypen#yang jungwon enhypen#jungwon imagines#jungwon scenarios#jungwon drabbles#jungwon oneshots#jungwon headcanons#jungwon fanfic#jungwon fluff#jungwon soft thoughts#jungwon soft hours#jungwon x female reader
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