#i do know that the fact that i don't read fic has pissed people off before
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Hi, I wrote my first evak fic in early 2023, before that I had been an avid reader for years. I know the fandom is a little quiet but there's this hardcore group of writers and readers that seem to have been around since the start and all know (of) each other. I don't know how to word this without sounding envious but it seems to me that group doesn't really read, comment on, give kudos or support new fics outside of their little circle. I want to believe it's a time issue but I have to say it comes across cliquey and a little hurtful. I really hope I am just being an insecure baby but I would be so happy if the established and popular writers would give me feedback and leave comments.
hiya! congratulations on writing and posting! i know it can be a big, scary jump from reading to writing and sharing, so applause for that in the first place.
i'm sorry your contributions to the fandom haven't been received the way you'd like them to be. if i'm included in this group of writers and readers, then, well my reasons for not reading/commenting/supporting are possibly going to be more hurtful than what you're already experiencing! i've whined about it years ago (first here, then here), and unfortunately it all still stands, because i have done absolutely zero work on bettering myself as a human being. i think i've read a handful of fics, mostly because they've been sent to me directly, with someone asking for my thoughts, and i managed to put in the effort to read it and offer a polite response. but there are also a bunch of fics that have been shared with me that i haven't read, even when i've said i would. i'm sorry if you have specifically done this with me in the past, because i have not treated your work, your creativity, with the respect it deserves.
i can't speak for anyone else, on how they choose to spend their time reading or writing, or the relationships they have with other fans. on the one active skam discord i'm in, i think a lot of them know each other from other fandoms, or have different relationships beyond writing/reading skam fic. also, as skam fades, people might only have the bandwidth for enjoying and supporting fanworks from established relationships, the same way you still want to support a favorite author even when you or they have changed genres or whatever.
but in reality i don't know the group where this is happening or why. i agree, it would be nice to receive more readers and commenters in general, and being jealous of the attention other people receive is natural. but i don't know how to change your relationship with that group, or my relationship with reading & supporting.
#y'all should see the tailspin i am in right now#i do not like examining my own habits because they are so disappointing!#but there's the explanation for why i don't read#IF I AM EVEN INCLUDED IN THIS GROUP???#or am i just supposed to commiserate as an outsider? IDK#of course i automatically assume i am at fault#i do know that the fact that i don't read fic has pissed people off before#unfortunately pissing people off is not enough to change my behavior#as anyone willing to scroll through my asks on this website could tell you#but also you would not want my comments if i felt obligated to give them#and i think the people i've beta'd for would agree#i do not go into it as a fan#or as an appreciation#i go into it very defensively#which is a shitty relationship to have with art#anyway i am sorry that this is your experience and that i may be contributing to it#i do not have a solution for you#nor do i want to like.....guilt people into reading fic#and the way i cope with this#the way i coped with it back in the day when the fandom had more popular writers and reading groups#was by hiding#and lowering my expectations#i gave nothing to the fandom and i expected nothing from it#kerryrants#aka how i tag the posts when i'm being an asshole
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I hate getting into something that has a canon(ish) sapphic couple, but I only end up caring about one of the two women 😭😭😭
#warrior nun? only cared about beatrice couldn't really get behind ava much#the locked tomb? INSANE for gideon. harrow is like cool I guess (I feel like I should like her more than I do idk)#and now dungeon meshi. I knoowwwww I'm going to love falin. 10 episodes in and I already find her relatable and awesome and so cool and sexy#AND SHE BECOMES A DRAGON LIKE FUCK MAN (she's still dead atm but soon soooooon)#marcille on the other hand?? I mean she's fine... but I'm not really drawn to her (I like namari a lot more tbh)#and the thing is I know part of it is the feminization of all three of them#I am not attracted to femininity pretty much ever (outside of a super sexed up version in which case gugh)#and ava and marcielle both have a very bubbly personality type that has never really drawn me in ever#they can have cool stories and I can enjoy them in that. but I have no desire to seek them out outside of that#and harrow... honestly I think it might be the way fandom sees her that makes me not care much about her?#also my feelings about the series as a whole by the end of nona probably don't help#BUT I definitely think a big part for all three is the femininity. none of their counterparts that I DO love are overly fem#(and HONESTLY I don't think harrow should be either and the fact hardly no one actually makes her butch the way I see her pisses me off)#((she CANONICALLY hated her long hair!!!!!!!!! stop giving her anything more than a buzz cut I'm going to attack you!!!!!!))#also. marcielle has green eyes and I'm sorry but I just can't 😭#I need every single character ever in existence to only ever have brown/black or gold/yellow eyes#stop with the blue and the green 😭 please#ANYWAY POINT BEING: I hate that this happens to me because I end up not getting obsessed with the ship#and mostly only getting into the single character but then I don't want to read fic about just one person#so I try out the ship stuff and shocker no one writes the other character in a way I like so I don't read it#and then I feel bad cause all my ships and main characters I'm obsessed over are men#and then I complain all the fandom favs and mcs in stories are men#but like I'm contributing to the problem!!!! but like I'm not attracted to hannibal but I like his personality#I'm not attracted to optimus but I love how fucked up his whole deal with megatron is#I DO love both luffy and zoro even though I'm not really attracted to either of them#the lotr/hobbit ships.... eh I love the world and I love dwarves and I will do anything for them so the characters don't matter much lol#AND THATS THE ISSUE 😭 the worlds of warrior nun and tlt and most of what i've seen of dungeon meshi don't really entrance me much#so I don't get into the ships for that. and I'm not attracted to both people in the ship. and I can't relate/project on both in the ship#and sometimes I find one character type less likable/annoying so that makes me not want to engage
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Is this an unpopular opinion? Is this a hot take??? I don't know if it is but I'm going to say it anyway,
I've read several AU!AFTG fics where writers try to mimic Neil's cut throat tongue lashings. They try to create their own "You know, I get it moment" whether with existing characters or OCs or whatever
Rarely do they pull it off. In fact, most miss the mark by a mile.
And it's not because they're bad at writing insults, they aren't. They can craft insults just like the rest of us, with varying degrees of success and scathing derogatory language. It's that the insults they use are generally applicable to most people and get their punch by being rife with curse words.
That's not how Neil does it.
Neil's insults are bespoke!!! (A bespoke suit is one where fabric isn't even cut until we know your exact measurements, this suit is for you, so let me write down every tidbit of relevant information about you and your body before I even start picking out thread)
Neil basically psychoanalyzed someone, noticed all their strengths, weaknesses, fears, hopes and dreams, complexes and traumas that he could get his little hands on, and honed the perfect sentence to bypass all their surface layer feelings and find their Inner Child like a fucking sniper and shot that crying baby in the forehead
That's why it hurts!!! Neil wouldn't call some one ugly as an insult even though that's an insult that has a wide AOE - it'll hit lots of folks. Neil would only call some ugly if it would strike home at their inner most traumatic childhood issues - Neil would call you ugly if he knew your mother called you ugly since birth and told you your only chance at earning love is by becoming hot and your dad told you you were so unskilled you couldn't even make a supermodel pretty if you tried giving them a makeover cus you're just that useless at making change. Yeah, Neil would call you ugly at that point.
Kevin didn't try to strangle Neil cus he called him a slur for disabled people, it pissed him off but it didn't really strike a nerve.
Kevin tried to strangle Neil cus he called him a "deadweight has been" and that struck all his nerves.
If you wanna write your own "You know, I get it" you can't just be insulting. You gotta be traumatizing. You can't just be mean to an adult being an asshole. You gotta be mean to a little kid who's already crying.
Only a couple of fic writers have pulled it off as far as I've read.
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you're gonna go far | one - the boneyard
SERIES MASTERLIST pairing: rafe cameron x pogue!reader
summary: where rafe who hates pogues has a soft spot for a pogue girl, who couldn't care less about him, it's too independent and too focused on graduating college and making it out of the cut to pay attention to him or where they say they don't like each other yet for a reason they are always at the same place at the same time, him making time for her and her never pushing away but again they don't like each other. word count: 3.1k content: rafe being an asshole, angst, cursing, pogue/kook talk, inaccurate weather facts lol authors note: this is my first official fic and series, please be kind english is my second language so excuse any grammar errors. not only am i excited but im also nervous this is the first time im letting people read anything i've ever written, i really hope you guys like it. reblogs, comments and like are always appreciated ❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。• *₊°。 ❀°。
He made his way to the Boneyard once again. Ever since Sarah had started dating John B he heard a lot more about these parties, he loved to party and he was not going to miss one. Also he needed to keep an eye on his sister, sister who he never really saw at the parties unless there was a fight between his friends and her pogue friends. That was the only reasonable reason, the only thing that made sense to him and he was trying to convince himself it was the only one.
But the real reason would actually make him lose his mind, he doesn’t get it, Rafe used to hate all pogues, but that one party Sarah invited her and her pogue friends and he almost lost it when she saw her, he had never seen her before and after that he never stopped looking for her and at her, usually she was mad at him for annoying her friends and he got pissed at her for calling him on his shit and didn’t want anything to do with him. Yet he wanted to know her, too much for his liking.
So there he was again at another Boneyard party, he wasn’t really in the mood but anything to see you. He really doesn’t get it, as much as he wants to hate you and despise you, he can't and that’s how he ended up going back to his car to grab his jacket and making his way to you. The party was in full blast but you had needed a break so you were sitting alone on a blanket over the sand looking at the ocean, hugging yourself. For a mid June night it was cold, too cold, probably a storm was coming soon.
As if it was heaven sent a puffy jacket wrapped you up “you’ll get sick” you looked up to be met with Rafe’s stoic face as if what he just did was nothing “it’s freezing” he said sitting next to you.
“I'm gonna be fine” you said, as much as you would want to take the jacket your pride was bigger so you started taking it off to give it back but he stopped you by putting it back.
He scoffs before answering “right, like you’re not trembling, just take it” you didn’t hesitate, it felt good but you weren’t going to admit it to his face.
“What about you?” you turned to look at him, he didn’t look cold but still.
“I’m fine, you need it more than me” his eyes darted over at your body, a weird feeling forming in his stomach at seeing you with something of his enveloping your frame.
“what’s that supposed to mean?” you looked at him, putting your arms in the jacket, it looked like his jacket had swallowed you up and he smirked at the sight.
“Nothing, just you were shaking and I’m not” he rolled his eyes
“Right…” Rafe being nice to you wasn’t new but you were still a bit on edge around him “Thanks” you said softly, as you looked around, everyone was enjoying the party, it was one of those moments where you would think why were you there, you could be doing anything else. You were already thinking about going back to college, community college wasn’t the plan but you were more than grateful for getting a scholarship, as much as community college wasn’t that expensive, for a pogue it was a lot.
Rafe interrupted your thoughts when he cleared his throat “You’re not going to go back to everyone?” as much as he had attempted to make it sound as a question it sounded more like a demand and order even.
“Not right now, why?” you turned to look at him, with a confused look. You wanted to go home but if you didn’t stick around a while longer your friends would ask and you liked to avoid the questions.
“I don't think they want to hang out with a pogue” of course he would say something like that, he was an asshole and yet you didn’t go away. You rolled your eyes.
“Well you are hanging out with said pogue” touché he thought
“Well I'm different” he said as if it was the most obvious answer ever
You scrunched up your face “oh and why’s that?” Rafe was the perfect example of why you hated kooks, they thought they were better than everyone, maybe not everyone but most of them were like him, he was so infuriating and you wanted to scream at him sometimes and you had done it on occasion, but everytime that feeling would be different.
“Because I’m me and I can do whatever I want” this man you thought, you just hummed in annoyance, he was so unbelievable. “Just do go near them” he had to be joking
“I will if I want to” he turned his head quickly as if you had said the worst thing ever, Rafe had a thing of struggling to show his true feelings and of course he would rather choke than admit he wanted you to stay there with him talking, he wanted to get to know you but he was clearly terrible at showing it.
“Does it look like I care? just don’t go, got it?” you were stoic, how the hell were you supposed to react to that. “Rafe…” “Don’t Rafe me, I don’t want you to be near them” them who? And why the hell did he care what you did or not.
“I’m not yours to control, I don’t even listen to my mother, what makes you think I will listen to you?” his face contorted in annoyance, sassy pogue he thought before speaking.
“I’m just trying to look out for you pogue” the way he said pogue with such disdain, you knew he hated pogues, you hated him albeit you were there still sitting with his jacket over your shoulders but you hated him.
“You hate pogues” she can’t let one go he huffs almost as if it's amusing to see you mad
“Usually i do, all of them are annoying, but…” he pauses for a second thinking as if it’s a good idea to continue talking “you just… you’re different”
“Whatever that means” was that a good thing? who knew it was Rafe Cameron after all.
“It means you don’t piss me off as much as the rest and I don’t want to see you getting hurt or dragged into something in between the pogues or kooks” he paused then continued “why are you even friends with them?”
not see me get hurt? most of the times you had been the one yelling at him or his friends to back away but in that moment you rather not fight with him about it “they just get me, we grew up together”
“How on earth can they get you, they are them and you’re…” he trailed off “I just don’t get how you can just hang out with them” his irritation was growing, you noticed but you didn’t care.
“You have no right to talk about them when you’re the one who doesn’t get it!” you huff
“What I don't get huh? that you love hanging around them in the Cut” you sighed, stupid kook
“I'm Pogue! The Cut is my home” and you would do anything to change that, Pope was the only one who knew how much you hated living there… “That's my life!”
“That's what I don’t get, you’re better than that! that’s a hellhole” as much as you don't like it there, it was still your home and you could call it a hellhole, you lived there, he had barely set foot in it, so what would he know? he didn’t have the right “living there doesn’t mean you have to hang out with them”
“They are my friends, they truly get it, they know how hard life can be and unfair it can get” his chest feels tight all of a sudden he doesn't get it, he never feels like that. He studies your face trying to think what he can say next.
“You could do better, find new friends, kooks, pogues will keep dragging you down” You stare at him looking for a trace of it being a joke and he is being serious, you laugh bitterly.
“Why would I want to be with the kooks? they look down at us as if we're trash, and we're people!” Rafe goes silent, his jaw clenching annoyed, he knew he treated your friends like that most of the time and he hated that you were right about it.
“I don’t think you're trash” he groans in frustration “What aren’t you getting pogue? they are assholes, you don’t deserve being around assholes who pull you back”
“You're not understanding Kook, they are my friends, my family even, they are important to me, I care for them, we stick by each other and we actually push each other to do things better because we want out, we do not want to stay in The Cut forever” You didn’t, a part of you knew that JJ and John B didn’t really care, yes they wanted better but that didn’t necessarily mean get out of the Cut. Then there was Kie who was born a kook and liked more the pogue life. A part of you was angry at Kie, she had the privileges you would kill for and she took them all for granted, you loved her but still it frustrated you.
He scoffs, he hates the tone you’re going for, yes it’s the same he’s giving you but he doesn’t like it when it’s aimed at him and coming from you. If it had been by any chance any other pogue he would’ve either fought them or ignored them but it was you… “Oh and how are you supposed to do that? work your ass off for minimum wage? Pogues don’t make it out that easily”
“And you think I'm not aware? still doesn’t mean I can’t make it” You were trying to keep your calm, he was getting on your nerves, you had heard that a thousand times but coming from him right there felt somehow even worse, not even a few minutes ago he had given you his jacket, that had been nice but apparently he was allergic to it and had to go back to his usual asshole self.
“Then why even try? The Cut is like a black hole that swallows people and you can never escape” You had enough, he had the nerve to say all that when his own father came from the Cut and made it out. You didn’t really like Ward Cameron, granted not a lot of people did but you did have to give him that, he made it out and he wasn’t the best person but he was all the proof you needed to know it was possible.
“Because it is not impossible, your dad did” you saw him tense up at the mention of his father, well know you knew how to piss him off. You regretted using his dad since it was clearly a sensitive topic for him but he deserved it you tried to convince yourself. You didn’t really like confrontation but with him every word flew out of your mouth without hesitancy it made you feel good, like you were brave enough and in the eyes of a lot of people you were, it was Rafe Cameron who you would usually stand up against and he could be an asshole but at the same time he respected that you would run your mouth at him even if it made you a pain in his ass from time to time.
“My dad was different, it was a rare thing, like winning the lottery you know?” you muttered a small right looking at the sand, of course he was going to be an asshole about it. He saw your reaction and felt like he needed to comfort you. “What I’m saying is…” he didn’t really know if he was going to say the right thing, he sucked at comforting people “you’re gonna have a hard time getting out of there, maybe you’re gonna be better… like better off staying there, just accepting the reality”
You looked at him, if you could strangle him with a look you would’ve done it, you scoff biting the inside of your cheek “You know what Rafe, fuck you, you don’t get it!” You stand up and take his jacket off and throw it at him before walking away.
“Hey! Wait, where are you going?” he stands up calling you out, grabbing his jacket but you’re already walking as fast as you could to get away from him “this girl…” he sighed, you annoyed him so much yet he felt bad, the look on your face before leaving, the words it had affected him more than he liked to admit. And watching you go directly to JJ after it just made it worse. You had heard him but you ignored him, what had made him think that any of what he said was okay?
—
When you finally made your way back to your friends you regretted throwing him his jacket back, you were cold again. “Ah she 's back! where were you?” JJ piped in first as he watched you sitting near the bonfire.
Just like Rafe you would rather choke than admit you liked talking to him and that’s where you were “Just taking a break from all this” you nodded hugging yourself, and if i go back? just for the jacket…
“You’re cold? there’s a hoodie on the Twinkie you can grab it” JJ said as he walked to grab another beer, you nodded and decided to go grab it, maybe even stay there. You made your way to where the Twinkie was parked.
—
Rafe didn’t leave the party even after the little fight, he was keeping an eye on you from a distance, he did that way more often than he liked to admit. He decided to follow you to wherever you were going. You were about to close the Twinkie with the hoodie on hand when Rafe showed up “You know you can always have this back” he lifted his hand where he had his jacket. You rolled your eyes while you put on the less warm hoodie.
I huffed, closing the door of the Twinkie “I don’t need or want your help, maybe you should accept that reality too” you said bitterly making reference to what he had said to you earlier.
He rolled his eyes, he felt guilty for saying what he said but it was done and was trying to make it better without even saying sorry “You don’t let one go huh?”
“You’re an asshole with me and then you want me to be okay with it? things don’t work that way, at least acknowledge that what you said was wrong” you crossed your arms, staring at him. He knew he was wrong, he felt bad about it but he wasn’t going to apologize or acknowledge it because every word you said spiked up his irritation in a way only you could.
“If being wrong is stating facts then yeah im wrong” you groaned in frustration, again why did you even indulge him? It was like you were being pulled to him, as much as you knew you could just don’t talk back you never kept quiet with him, it was physically impossible.
“You’re an asshole, you come here saying stuff when you don’t even have a clue what it is to live in a place you hate but it’s still your home” he felt a sudden anger bubbling up, oh he knew about hating the place where he lived a little too much for his liking but you weren’t done talking “you’re so infuriating first you say I'm too much for the pogues, newsflash I’m one! that they hold me down but then when I tell you I want to do better you’re telling me I should give up?” you groaned in frustration and ran your hands through your hair.
He stared at you, you looked pretty all angry at him, he shook his head, focusing back on his irritation “you’re done with your tantrum?” He knew that was just gonna make you even more mad and maybe he wanted to see how far he could take it, as much as he was different with you, he still was Rafe. The cocky kook asshole who thought everyone should listen to his words. You clenched your jaw from the annoyance.
“What you didn’t like what I said? sorry I was just stating facts” you lifted a brow testing him back, you weren’t afraid of him, your friends had told you in multiple times to be careful that you didn’t know who you were messing with, but nothing ever happened to you beside the same old pogue comments and you were used to them they did hurt sometimes but nothing worth crying over it. It just fueled you to prove to everyone or him you could do the things he never thought you would.
“Do you ever know when to shut up?” he huffed and you felt a pang of hurt in your chest. Out of all he had said this is what ends up actually hurting you? You swallowed and looked up at him “oh you do know when to shut up” he smirked, his stupid smug face, why did he have to be like that?
“Do you ever know when to stop?” you pushed past him, you knew why this had hurt more than the rest of the things but you chose to ignore it, you could deal with that later or never. You turned around to walk back to where the rest of the people were.
“Wait!” he yanked you back “you don’t get to tell me what to do” you looked at him frustrated, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath to try and calm yourself down but it was useless.
“Neither do you!” I pulled my arm from his grasp “never touch me again, I don’t want to see you around, stick to the words you have said to my friends a thousand times, stay on your side of the island kook!” you had used the word with the same distaste he used the word pogue, you were done, he had made you feel horrible twice and you allowed it. You stormed off and this time he didn’t stop you, the words kept ringing in his head until Topper called him out. They were ready to leave and at the same time you convinced JJ to take you back to your house, Rafe looked from a distance, anger bubbling up inside him but there was nothing he could do about it.
He left the party not long after you did, parts of the conversation still replaying in his head.
❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。• *₊°。 ❀°。
taglist: @starkeyvhs @oxpogues4lifexo @persiar9 @lenasvoid @zyafics if you want to be added send an ask or comment! :)
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INTHELIBRARYBTW ✧.*
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what do you think about the fact that al likes doodling?
i have a head canon that he has some sort of scrapbook or sketchbook full of little doodles of things going on at the hotel and just in his life, I feel like he would draw really stick-figureish (is that a word?) but I read a fic that depicted it as the same art style as an Invader-Zim obsessed scene girl and I could not stop cackling.
I also feel like he would either guard it with his life from everyone (exception to Rosie, of course) or just not bother to tell anyone and one day they just find him doodling schoolgirl style, kicking his legs in the air, LMAO NEW THOUGHT WHAT IF CHARLIE OR LUCIFER FOUND IT
OH! OH! Now that you mentioned it - i LOVE that about him! I just absolutely ADORE little thing he made for the add in the first episode. And i love this fact because 1) he's the first character i like that likes to draw canonically (okay maybe also toothless from httyd?) 2) Me and Alastor share so many similarities, and even drawing???? This just makes me love him even more (i'm sure we would hate each other irl tho AHAHHAHAHA or maybe not, idk)
SO, SINCE ME AND AL ARE SO SIMILAR, I'M GONNA PROJECT ON HIM MY DRAWING HABITS >:3c Forgive me this one, i usualy don't do that, i usualy project characters on myself haha
He DOES have sketchbooks just to draw, and they are ORGANISED. He's numbers every sketchbook and counts every drawing in them since the first one. He also has two numbers for each page - through one sketchbook and through them all. He has over 300 of sketchbooks by now (I have less, only 56). They are stashed somewhere in a very safe place.
Every sketchbook has a date of first and last drawing. Also amount of drawings. It looks like: NOTEBOOK 253 (number of sketchbook, also he doesn't call them sketchbooks) 03.06.1978-05.07.1978 (dates while it was active) 119 (amount of drawings) 29961-30080 (which numbers of drawings are in this sketchbook) He would cound something else, but he's just too busy to spend time on it. He can remember something thinking about what he was drawing in that period and vice versa
He used to draw at overlords meetings, pissing off Carmila and everyone else, because it looked like he hadn't listened to them, so Carmila banned drawing at overlords meetings (Alastor is still angry about it)
But he doesn't progress too much - most of his progress was made through first 10-20 sketchbooks, now he only has slight style changes sometimes when he feels like it
Tho he's really proud of his current skill and used to think that he's literally the best (used to get angry when reminded that it's not true) (now he kinda knows, but still likes his own drawings, doesn't accept criticism and doesn't try to purposely improve)
He likes showing his drawings to people, he knows and if he does, you have to say that it's literally So Cool, show enthusiasm turning pages and say that everything is just amazing. If you don't, he'll be OFFENDED. He also can leave a sketchbook opened on a page with a drawing he likes the most, and it's like a sign "NOTICE THAT I'M DRAWING AND SAY THAT YOU LIKE IT"
If he considers you a friend (well not like Rosie, but at least like Charlie), he'll be showing you his drawings regularly (and you have to be enthusiastic about it!!!!!!) He has showed it to Charlie, but somehow her enthusiasm is... too much. She's too patronising about it. He also shows his things to Husk, he knows that Husk is annoyed and doesn't give a shit, and he just enjoys his annoyance. He also shows his drawings to Niffty and she gives him Just Right amount and vibe of enthusiasm. (He sometimes draws something for her fanfiction if he likes something enough and enjoys Niffty's reaction (she explodes from happiness)). BUT!!!!! He never shows anything to Mimzy. Because she's like, person from the real life, and he feels like she would laugh at it. To Rosie he shows only things he considers his best and her opinion is the most important to him. He can even forgive her criticism (wouldn't take it tho) (she never critisizes him and absolutely ADORES his drawings). Angel kinda likes his drawings, but isn't enthusiastic about them enough
He doesn't take requests (Angel tried "draw me like one of your french girls" shit, Alastor never did (also his ass did not get the reference and he was like "i dont??? have??? any french girls????")) (Vox also tried to make Alastor draw something for him, Alastor was just "that's interesting, i'll think about it" and never thought of it again)
SOME OF HIS DRWINGS TURNED OUT TO BE PROPHECIES but he notices that only when something happens and then he goes back to his old sketchbooks and accidentally finds it. They are just coincidenses tho, but it's fun and Alastor makes a big deal from it and screams to Rosie like "I PREDICTED THAT SHIT 27 YEARS AGO" when finds out. (it's how i predicted many plot points from SU and literally TOH hunter's possession before the show even was a thing JHJDFJHFGJFDHKH i wonder if i predicted something from Hazbin, i need to look through my sketchbooks now)
If you dare to mess with his drawings and vandalise them... oh... you better pray to whatever god you belive in to make your sufferings be enough to redeem your sins and go to heven.
#hazbin#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#sudden ask lol#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#the radio demon#alastor the radio demon#radio demon#radiorose#platonic radiorose#hazbin headcanons#hazbin hotel text post
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Drive Safe Part 3
First Lady of Private Garden Fic
AN: Our wild ride has come to an end 🥹😘
Synopsis: You confront your best friend for what she did to you behind your back all while trying to make sense of your future with Jack. The ultimate question is, are you willing to give your ex-husband another chance?
Pairing: Ex-husband!Jack Harlow x Ex-wife!Reader
Read Part 1 and Part 2 first
Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere
After hearing Taylor confess what you had heard Jack tell Urban left you in a daze. So, he in fact was telling the truth, however your best friend or someone who you thought was your best friend went behind your back and betrayed you. Never did you think that in a million years that she would do something like this and try to play innocent and continue on with life as usual as if nothing happened.
“Y/N, I know you're pissed at me and for good reason and I know I shouldn't have done it and…”
You immediately cut her off.
“Let me ask you something. Did you honestly think that you could do that and ultimately get away with it? Yes, me and him have our issues but stepping out on one another because of a disagreement has never been a reality. No matter how mad at each other we are. Bottom line, you took advantage of him being in a vulnerable stage. Even if I am still very mad at him, I'm going to defend him when someone does him wrong. And in this case, you were in fact… wrong.”
“I…”
“I thought that at least you were one of the last people I could count on to have my back, but low and behold you wanted my man for yourself. Everyone has treated me like shit since this first happened and since obviously my feelings don't matter to you or anyone else, there's nothing left for me to say. We are done here and you can forget about being their godmother. Lose my number and do not call me again for as long as you live.”
“Wait, just….. we're throwing our friendship away over a mistake I made? I confessed and I apologized. I don't know what came over me to do that and deep down I knew it wasn't right. But I just….”
“A mistake you hid from me for damn near two years and it wasn't a mistake actually. I had my suspicions, but I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, thinking no, there's no way in the world that my best friend would do that to me. You were in your right mind and knew what you were doing. And to think I trusted you. I've told you things In confidence that I have never told anyone else and you just….I need to leave. And you can pick up the tab since you want to be kissing other people's husbands.”
“It’s never going to happen again, I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”
“You've already lost me as a friend from the moment you tried to kiss Jack. It's not going to happen again, because you are going to stay as far away as possible from us. Did you really think that I would forgive you for doing something like that to me? You broke my trust and that is not something that cannot be repaired overnight. Oh, and one last thing, I knew what you did for months now and was just simply waiting for you to confess.”
Taylor was sitting there absolutely stunned and unable to speak. And it looked as if her eyes were starting to water.
“Didn't think it was going to take this long, but here we are. I'm taking my food to go and have the day you deserve. And you can save your tears for someone who actually cares.”
Without another word, you slid back from the table and went to the front of the restaurant to let them know that you wanted your order to go and that Taylor would be paying for it.
Once you got outside in your rental car, the tears started to roll down your face. You were proud of yourself, but also hurting. You felt that at this point, you didn't have anyone anymore and you simply wanted to go back home to Louisville or Atlanta rather and be away from it all. Because Atlanta was the only place where you felt that your life actually made sense. Louisville held too many memories for you and every single one of them had to do with Jack.
You had gotten back to the beach house in record time and stared at your phone contemplating if you were going to call Jack or not to let him know that you had talked to Taylor. Making your way inside, you sat everything down in the kitchen before making your way upstairs to the bedroom since your desire to eat anything was now gone. You picked up your phone and then shook your head and placed it on the dresser before the tears started falling again.
If you knew the shitstorm that would happen when Jack asked for you to marry him, you probably would have never done it. But who were you kidding? You knew deep down that you still would have said yes despite what was going on around you at the present moment. Did you see yourself marrying him again? Only time would be able to tell. The most important thing that you needed to focus on right now was trying to heal.
Jack played with his phone in his hands contemplating calling your older sister, Danielle, but had a strong feeling that she wouldn't want to hear anything that he had to say.
But he had to try.
He was willing to do absolutely anything to get you to forgive him and get him to marry him again. Even though you told him that marriage was definitely off the table, in the back of his mind and deep down he knew that if he wasn't able to get married to you again that he wouldn't get married again at all. You were the love of his life and he ruined it.
Before he backed out, he quickly hit her number to call her as his heart was damn near beating out of his chest.
And now he was hoping she didn't answer.
But luck wasn't on his side and she did.
“Hello?”
“Dani, it's Jack.”
“I know. I have something called caller id on my iphone.”
“Umm….”
“What do you need?”
“Um, for your little sister to stop ignoring my calls and talk to me.”
All Dani did was scoff before responding.
“And you think that you deserve to talk to her after what you did?” Dani asked and now Jack was starting to regret ever picking up the phone to call her.
“Dani, she's pregnant.”
“I am aware. I was there when she took the test. What's your point?”
“Dani, please. I just want her to talk to me so she can hopefully forgive me and we can get back together.”
“Jack, I told you to do one thing when it came to her. ONE. Do you remember what that was?”
“Take care of her.”
“Hmm, and did you do like I asked?”
“Well…”
“No. You didn't. Instead you hurt my baby girl and quite frankly, I’m surprised she stayed with you as long as she did. That girl LOVES you and would do anything for you, but instead you let your little fame get to your head. As much as she would call me crying all times of the night over you, you honestly think you deserve to be in a relationship with her again?”
“I know I've messed up and that I've hurt her, but all I want to do is make it right. I don't want anyone else or be married to anyone else. I didn't even want to sign the divorce papers!”
All Dani did was sigh before responding.
“You better listen to me and listen to me good. I will do what I can, but it is ultimately her decision. If she gets back with you, fine. I'll support it. If she doesn't, I'm also going to support it. But one thing I'm not going to tolerate is you disrespecting her. That is the mother of three of your big headed children so give her the respect she deserves. She's in Miami and I'm going to check on her so I'll do my best to see if she’ll talk to you. No promises.”
“That's literally all I ask.”
“But if she says no, unless it has to do with your unborn children, you better leave her the fuck alone.”
Not realizing that you fell asleep after confronting Taylor, you woke up to see that it was dark outside and had no clue what time it was. Grabbing your phone and wincing from the light as you put your password in, you saw that it was around nine at night.
Sighing to yourself, you threw the comforter away from your body to make your way downstairs to come face to face with your older sister who was currently sitting in the living room and scrolling away on her phone.
Hearing your footsteps come up behind her, she quickly greeted you.
“Lil Bit, I thought you were going to sleep until next week.”
“Uh? What are you doing here?” You sleepily asked as you rubbed your eyes.
“Don't you think I know when you need me?”
“I'm fine.”
“Are you?” She asked as you came to sit across from her.
You wanted to say yes, that you were indeed in fact fine, but the words just weren't coming out. Instead, something else did.
“I miss him and I HATE myself for feeling like this.” You breathed out while wrapping your arms around yourself.
“It's not like it was a one night stand. You two were MARRIED. And have known each other since you two were fourteen. That doesn't go away overnight. There's going to be ups and downs with healing from that. It isn't linear.”
“But I'm just so MAD at him for what he did. No matter how much he tries to take it back and apologize, what's done is done. And that song felt like a legit slap to the face.”
“He's not perfect, but neither are you. He definitely could have gone about it a different way, but what's done is done and the only thing you can do is move forward from it.”
“He called you, didn't he?” You asked as you were eyeing Dani.
“Maybe, maybe not.”
“DANIELLE….”
“He did and in not so many words, begged for me to convince you to talk to him and to stop ignoring his calls.”
“And? What did you tell him?”
“After I threatened him, I said that I would try to convince you, but no promises. He has a show in Miami in two days so I figured you two can talk then. If you want to, that is.”
“I don't know If I want to.” You answered being completely honest.
“You said you missed him.”
“I miss a lot of things, but I've learned to adjust.”
“You aren't adjusting. You're avoiding it.”
“I don't remember asking for a therapy session.”
“Look, I get that you're hurting and want to take some time for yourself, but you cannot keep this bottled up because you are legit going to explode.”
“What are people going to say if I take him back?”
“Who gives a flying fuck? That's your business and no one else's. Two people would be in that relationship and not the entire world.”
“But he legit disrespected me multiple times.”
“Y/N, if you are looking for me to tell you what to do, it’s not going to happen. In the end, this has to be a decision that you have to live with. No one else. Just know that whatever you decide, I will support you 100%.”
Before you answered her, you simply sighed.
“What venue is he performing at on Saturday?”
—-
Saturday finally rolled around and you had been on edge for the entire day. The time for you to leave was inching closer and closer and you were seriously about to back out of it altogether. Taking a deep breath, you gave yourself a once over in the floor length mirror at your black dress that you were wearing along with a pair of your Steve Madden sandals and was satisfied with how the outfit came together. You had straightened your hair earlier in the day, so the only thing left to do was to confront him.
You had been confronting a lot of people lately and wanted for this to be the end of it.
Dani volunteered to go with you and the two of you rode in silence to the venue with her taking quick glances at you to see that you were scrolling on your phone from time to time. Once the two of you arrived and made your way inside, Jack was already on stage and Urban had quickly spotted the two of you.
“Hi Urby.” You said as he engulfed you in a bear hug.
“Hey, didn’t know you were coming tonight.”
“I didn’t know either until two days ago.”
“He’ll be happy to see you. Come this way so I can take you two backstage so you can watch from the side.”
“Hmm, we’ll see if that still rings true after I talk to him.”
All Urban did was hold his hands up in defense before shrugging since he knew that you were just about at your wits end with everything that had been going on.
You and Dani quickly followed behind Urban and since everyone recognized you, you were able to get backstage with no problem. But you also knew in the back of your mind that your so-called ex-best friends were probably there as well, right along with Neelam. And of course she had spotted you.
“Y/N?”
“The one and only unless there’s another one that I don’t know about?” You quickly said to her as Dani stifled a laugh.
“Can we…?” She started to say, but you immediately cut her off.
“No. I’m here for one person and one person only. If I wanted to talk to any of the rest of you, I would have told you. I’ll let you know when I’m ready whenever that time comes.”
“I.. fair enough. You both can come over here to watch him from the side.”
It took less than five minutes for Jack to spot you standing on the side and he got the biggest smile on his face and you simply gave him a tight lipped smile in return. You did your part of willing to open the lines of communication, but if it was something that you didn’t want to hear, you were immediately going to cut it off.
Once his set was over, he quickly jogged off the stage towards you and opened his arms for a hug which surprisingly you actually returned.
You had missed this feeling.
“Can we go somewhere and talk?” You asked him and he quickly nodded as he led the two of you to his dressing room.
Once the door was closed, you let him have it.
“Babe? Is everything okay? What are you doing here? And I mean that in the best way possible.”
“Don't call me that, Jackman. You lost the privilege to do so. But let’s just cut to the chase shall we? You called Dani to get me to talk to you so here I am. Now onto my most pressing question, why didn't you tell me what Taylor did?”
Jack, obviously taken aback, cleared his throat before answering you. And all he did was rock back and forth on his heels before sighing.
“Because I didn't think you would believe me if I had told you when it originally happened.”
“But not to say anything at all? You were supposed to protect me, we're supposed to protect each other! I had the fakest person under my nose for the longest and you said NOTHING.”
“I…. I didn't know what to do. You already didn't want to be bothered with me and I didn't want to create an even bigger mess. Wait, she told you?”
“Yes and kept asking me before she did if you had said something to me first.”
“I'm sorry, and I know that I should have. I would never cheat on you no matter how mad I might be. You mean too much to me for me to do that.”
“Hmm, your actions lately say otherwise. You hurt me with that shit you pulled and should have come and talked to me.”
“I know and I don't have an excuse for it. I just wish we could start over and just forget that any of this ever happened.”
“Do you honestly think that you deserve another chance?”
“Dani legit said the same thing.” He mumbled before taking a seat next to you and grabbing your left hand which was still decorated with your wedding ring. Except it wasn’t on your ring finger.
He began to play with it as he was waiting for you to say something.
“How do I know that something like this won’t ever happen again?” You asked and that was when he finally looked up at you.
“Because we’re going to communicate better and be honest with each other about how we’re feeling. That was my biggest downfall.”
“Hmm.”
“And I need to put you first. You were the one who was with me when I had absolutely nothing and I lost sight of that. Anytime I needed you, you were there but I didn’t give you that same treatment in return.”
“I want to believe you, I really do because I miss you, but… I just don’t know.”
“Y/N, please. Things are going to be different this time.”
“Maybe, but I don’t know if I’m at that point where I want to find out or not.” You answered being completely honest.
“Well, how long do you think that will take? You know I’m willing to wait. I legit do not want anyone else.”
“Only time will tell.” You shrugged while looking at him.
When he didn’t say anything else, you simply let go of his hand and began to get up.
“Wait, where are you going?”
“I did what you asked and I came and heard what you had to say, did I not?”
“Yes, but…”
“And now I’m leaving.”
“Baby girl, just…”
“Just, what, Jack? Just what? You said your piece and I’ve said mine. When I’m ready to take you back, you’ll know.”
“I love you and I want this. I want us.” He said as he grabbed your hand and squeezed it.
“Yes, you’ve made that very clear and you’ve done it more than once.”
“At least just spend the night with me, let me take you out.”
“Maybe some other time. I’m pretty tired. I am pregnant, the last time I checked.”
“Okay, I get that. Some other time then.”
Jack then stood up and gave you another long embrace as he leaned down to kiss your forehead.
You then felt him cup your cheek and knew he wanted to kiss you. You wanted to kiss him too, but you definitely weren’t letting him back in that easily.
Instead of meeting his lips with yours, he met your cheek since you had turned your head and you heard him sigh.
“When I fully forgive you, you can give me as many kisses as your heart desires, but until then I need you to remember something for me.”
“What is it?
“Remember one thing, I'm not your girl.” You whispered against his lips before smirking and laughing to yourself as you made your way to the door of the dressing room.
“Drive Safe tonight, Jackman.” Was the last thing you said before you disappeared on the other side of the door leaving him absolutely speechless.
#jack harlow#jack harlow fic#jack harlow fanfic#jack harlow x reader#jack harlow x black reader#jack harlow angst#jack harlow imagine#jack harlow concepts#jack harlow x you#first lady of pg
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Apparently, Boot Camp Doesn't Have Lessons in Subtlety
Rating: T - Word Count: 3.5k
Read on Ao3
SUMMARY:
Benny DeMarco doesn't get paid enough to sleep in the same barrack as the Bucks at the POW camp in the winter months once everyone has to start sharing bunks…
Buck and Bucky are sharing a bunk and let's just say they are not subtle about anything that is going on in that bed. If anyone was oblivious to the feelings going on between the two of them before, it's never been more obvious than now.
Benny DeMarco is pretty over it, but he'll also defend them to his dying breath. Oh, and he's taken to gossiping about them with John Brady.
OR
A companion fic to my 5+1 Clegan bedsharing fic In your arms (I think I might survive) giving a humorous outsider perspective from the men of the 100th and those sharing the barrack with Buck and Bucky.
Benny DeMarco does not get paid enough to put up with petty shit in life. Specifically, the Bucks. Specifically how not subtle they are about their obvious feelings for each other.
God, could they be more obvious?
It was obvious from the moment Bucky came walking in the gates asking if Buck made it. Sure, the two were best friends and that was a normal question, but anyone who has eyes could've seen the way Bucky's whole demeanor changed once he caught sight of his "best friend."
Best friends my ass.
Best something, though, that's for sure.
It's usually not horribly distracting or overt, though. They pass as friends most of the time unless Bucky is drunk, Benny supposes, or they're arguing in which case they act like a goddamn married couple. They fly under the radar pretty easily at the prisoner-of-war camp for that reason. No danger, really. The Nazis would have their heads for any kind of association. Everyone knows how the Germans feel about that sort of thing. It's not spoken about. Hell, most people everywhere don't look too kindly on it, but DeMarco's not the kind of man who thinks somebody should be murdered because of the way they're living their life. It's not like some happiness in another person is worthy of the death sentence. That's just madness. And Buck and Bucky are some of DeMarco's best friends, he could never feel hatred toward them.
Annoyance? So much. And in increasing amounts...
See, they were fine until it got cold at night then Benny is certain everyone in the whole of their Barracks became painfully aware of the fact that they were painfully in love with each other because — goddamn it — they were sleeping in the same bunk and if it wasn’t obvious before that the two were hopelessly smitten with each other, well, after that it certainly was.
For one thing, Buck Cleven has the worst case of puppy dog eyes that Benny has ever seen. He’s had it bad for a while now (since before Benny went down and was still back at base) with his little soft smiles that he thinks he hides so well and mostly (mostly!) only gives Bucky when he’s not looking — but everyone else is.
LORD give him strength.
And then there’s Bucky.
That man antagonizes the fuck out of Buck at any given chance and Benny doesn’t even think he realizes it. And the worst thing is they both seem to like it. It’s the strangest thing and Benny is sure that this is their way of flirting.
Which is entirely infuriating because it’s the most annoying thing in the universe to be around.
Bucky’s antics only increase once they start sharing a bunk, and Benny’s not sure if it has more to do with his close proximity to Buck or his general cabin fever due to the German winter at the Stalag. Whatever the cause, Bucky is incorrigible, and his behavior at times is nigh impossible to deal with. Though, Benny has to admit, the moments of levity do bring several of the other men out of their low moments more often than not, himself included, so he can’t fault Bucky too much for his attitude. Even when he pisses Benny off, he is a light in the dark camp.
Still makes Benny want to punch him in the face half the time, but in a brotherly way.
And if the two of them are bad during the daytime, that’s nothing compared to how transparent they are when they’re actually snuggled together at night.
Now, Benny’s not an idiot. It’s winter. Even he is sharing a bunk. It’s cold as fuck outside and even he understands the necessity to shove aside pride and get in close quarters with a buddy for the foreseeable future. But, the Bucks have taken this situation and turned it into a nightly slumber party.
After the lights turn out they stay up whispering and giggling with each other like a couple of school girls. He’s convinced if their hair grew out long enough while they were here in the camp, the two of them would spend the nights braiding each other’s.
It’s not like Benny is especially complaining that they’re talking. They’re not that loud; he can’t even tell what they’re saying and he’s not sure anyone could even those in the bunks closest to them (though, the men in the bunks above and below them soon found themselves migrating away due to the way the Bucks consistently stayed up talking at night— nobody wanted to be in their bubble. They were a whole world unto themselves. Again— not subtle). So, it’s not the volume that bothers Benny about their conversations at night. It’s not even really that he’s bothered. It’s just that, really? It’s every night. And maybe Benny can admit to being just a little jealous because it’s not like he has a best friend here. Or anyone to talk to. Not that he would really want someone so important to him to be experiencing the Stalag alongside him, but it’s significant that in a place like this, the Bucks have each other. They seem to be holding together better individually because they have one another.
It pisses Benny off as much as anything else does. It’s not rational, but it makes their voices carrying across the room at night irritate him. He tries not to let it get to him because it’s not fair that them having a sliver of happiness should make him feel that way, but he’s just a man.
He starts to get over it when he starts gossiping with John Brady who is in another barrack, but also from the 100th and knows as well as he does what it is to know the Bucks.
“Brady, you have no idea— Bucky has it so bad. Yesterday we were all sitting around shootin’ the shit after lunch and— I swear to god— Buck gave him this look like he was being an idiot — because he was �� and Bucky just leaned in real close to him like none of the rest of us were even there, face almost touching, no sense of personal space whatsoever—“
“Well, hey, it’s not like Bucky’s ever been good at personal space with his buddies much anyway—"
“Yeah, but usually he’s drunk. But listen to this next bit. Bucky leans in real close to Buck, fully sober, grinning like an idiot, and says ‘I could show you a thing or two.’” Benny lets it hang in the air, waiting for Brady’s response. He has his hands splayed in a well? gesture. Brady’s eyebrows fly up and he leans toward Benny in interest.
“You were all talking about baseball, right? But still, that is… very not subtle. A blatant flirtation.”
“I know.”
“Buck must know that too, right?”
“Please, Buck is always flirting with Bucky. He just does it differently. That man is not subtle either.” Brady seems confused by that, not convinced.
“Wait, what do you mean, I’ve never seen him flirt with anyone. Doesn’t he have a girl back home he’s writing to? I thought they were pretty serious!”
Benny makes a placating gesture and leans back in his chair. “I’m not saying he’s not serious with his girl back home or anything, but the way he makes eyes at Bucky is not a made-up thing. And anyone who’s ever read the Bible knows a man can have more than one lover.”
“Benny!”
“I’m just saying…”
But the thing is, the Bucks really aren’t subtle. Like, at all.
And if Bucky thinks he’s quiet in any sense of the word then he’s a damn fool.
Buck may be able to keep quiet most of the time in the daylight, being that he keeps mostly to himself and is pretty private, not saying too much, and isn’t overtly given to random outbursts of sound. But Bucky? Bucky is the pure opposite of Buck. In the daytime, he’s impulsive and will make stray comments on any conversation whether he’s a part of it or not, whether it’s appropriate or not. The only time Benny has ever seen Bucky hold his tongue is when it’s in a professional capacity in front of a superior officer, and even then half the time Bucky is mouthing back and risking his career.
To say this translates to the situation with the Bucks is to say that the sky is blue.
Meaning in December everyone in the Barrack with the Bucks is aware there is a change in the nature of the relationship between the two of them.
They are not subtle. Heavy breathing and the occasional low moan from their bunk is not an unusual occurrence starting sometime in December with increasing frequency.
Nobody says anything about it.
The Bucks are both happier for the shift in their dynamic and anytime somebody goes to complain about it, all of the men from the 100th noticeably stiffen and glare. They’re protective of their Majors to the end. All of them would likely die for either of the Bucks, let alone sucker punch anyone who criticized the men for finding happiness in wartime.
It’s not really a conscious decision on Benny’s part, to defend the Bucks and their relationship, it’s just that any time he hears anyone start to get a little tetchy about it, he gets defensive. So what if they’re keeping you up a bit? Shove off, put some wool in your ears, and deal with it, it’s the damn war. Stop being such a damn child about it.
They don’t complain anymore after that.
It’s just the way it is after that. Nobody says anything about it to anyone else. If the 100th is this protective of the Majors for mere comments, imagine how they would be with an actual threat? DeMarco’s not sure the 100th would be able to leave a man alive. Or at least unscarred— probably scare a man into secrecy if they even thought about saying anything about their Majors.
The days surrounding Christmas are perhaps some of the most awkward days of DeMarco’s life. Not only because it’s Christmas and he’s trying to ignore the holiday, not get caught up in his complicated feelings about the Holy Day that he wished he was spending with family back home, or even on base in more favorable circumstances with more friends, but also because the Bucks are acting weird. There’s a definite tension between them like they’re fighting. It carries into the next day too and the itchy feeling permeates into the air like a bad smell and affects everyone. It’s frankly awful.
Even Brady, who’s not in the same Barracks takes note of it at meal time.
“Benny, why does it feel like Mom and Dad are fighting and it’s my fault?”
“Thank GOD I’m not the only one who noticed!”
“I mean, look at them! They’re sitting right across from each other, and they keep glancing at each other when the other isn’t looking and they’re all moping sad eyes! What is going on?”
“Fuck if I know, Brady.”
“How long until they make up?”
“God, I hope it’s soon.”
Brady has a wild smirk on his face. “My bets are on tomorrow night. By the next morning, they’ll be acting back to normal— just you see.” His eyes are like a madman and Benny can’t see any logical conclusion to what he’s saying.
“No way in hell, kid. I’ll take you on that.”
But when he wakes up the next morning to Bucky’s horrible renditions of the birthday song, Benny knows he’s beat. That little shit knew too much. If Benny had known today was Gale Cleven’s birthday he never would have doubted that the Bucks would reconcile today.
And reconcile they do.
By the end of the night, Benny is convinced anyone in the Barrack who didn’t already know about the Bucks surely does by now because—
They. Are. Not. Subtle.
Or QUIET.
GOD.
Sometimes Benny wishes he could bleach his brain.
He loves his friend, but really, the two of them are colossal idiots.
There was more moaning tonight than usual and the culprit was none other than Buck, which is honestly surprising too since he’s the quiet one between the two of them for most of his life. But it is his birthday.
And— goddamn it— Benny does not need to think about what kind of present Bucky must be giving Buck tonight. Because that is just way too much.
But really? REALLY? In front of all of them?
Benny DeMarco is not getting paid enough to deal with the Bucks.
Benny shuffles into the mess in the morning and sits at his usual table waiting for Brady with his head in his hands. When he sees the Bucks walk in shoulder to shoulder, practically glued to the hip once again, talking quietly about the fuck knows what Buck smiling with his eyes and Bucky practically vibrating out of his skin with wild energy—
Well, Benny knows he’s lost the bet.
Damn, Brady.
Speak of the devil. The younger man takes a seat at the table across from him with a smirk, inclining his head toward the smitten couple a ways down the mess, but doesn’t say anything.
“Oh, shut up, Brady, I got enough of an earful last night.”
Brady’s eyebrows go up comically high at that. “Wait, no! Now you have to dish!”
Benny glares. “As if you didn’t know already that it was Cleven’s birthday yesterday.”
Brady has the decency to look sheepish at that. “I’ll admit, I may have had some insider knowledge there— but how was I supposed to know you didn’t also know? All’s fair, and that.”
“Whatever. You really sure you want to hear this one, Brady?”
“Since when have you been shy about the exploits and drama of the Bucks, Benny?” He’s sure his face must be red. Benny glances over his shoulder where the men are sitting across from each other, chatting like the tension of the last few days never happened.
“Okay, fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. They— well, obviously I don’t know anything for certain, but…”
“But what? Spit it out, Benny!”
Benny covers his eyes with his hand. Why is this so hard to say? Is it because it’s his friends? Is it because they’re men? He doesn’t know, but it feels so secretive like he can’t say it in the daylight. He takes the hand away and leans in a little closer. “Well, I’m pretty sure that Bucky got Buck off last night. There was so much moaning and most all of it was Buck. Some sort of birthday surprise. It’s never been like that before, ya know?”
Brady’s eyes go comically wide, his jaw falling slack just so. His eyes dart over Benny’s shoulder to where the Majors are. Benny wonders if he’s broken the poor kid. After a moment, the biggest grin Benny has ever seen splits Brady’s face.
“OH MY GOD! FINALLY!”
What.
Benny is so confused.
Several people around them look over at Brady’s outburst.
“Brady, shut up!” Benny hisses between clenched teeth.
“Sorry! Sorry, it’s just. I mean, it’s kinda romantic, innit? I mean, you know they met at bootcamp, right? They always tell stories about falling in love during hopeless circumstances and how love overcomes everything— to actually see it happen? I mean, c’mon! Look at them! They’re beating the odds! They keep surviving everything and even though they both got downed in Germany, they both made it here to the same place? Beating the odds again? How can I not be excited that their friendship destined for more is becoming that? And that they’re making it work despite that?” Brady’s staring off into the distance, a goofy-looking smile on his face, his eyes practically filled with hearts, and Benny—
Benny is just staring at him with a dumbfounded expression.
What the actual fuck is going on here.
Benny gets it on a superficial level. What the kid said makes sense in a girly romance-novel sort of way, but it doesn’t connect for him the same way. The Bucks are just his friends and they’re just two guys who like each other and maybe had sex last night way too close to him in the barracks.
Brady is something else.
“Right.”
After that, everything escalates. The Bucks are all over each other day and night it seems, and Brady is always either talking to Benny about them or hounding him for information. It’s like the Bucks bring Brady hope in the camp, but Benny is concerned that it’s bordering on obsessive. As for the Bucks themselves… well, they’re still flying under the radar during the day to anyone who doesn’t know them, but for the love of all that is holy Benny just must know them because it’s like all he can see are their little glances and nods. The way they leave things around for each other in hidden gestures that mean something to the other. How one of them will quirk an eyebrow or leave space for the other to fill.
He doesn’t mean to notice things. He’s trained his whole life to be an observant man! It’s in his nature to pick up on interpersonal dynamics. He could do this with his eyes closed. (At night he does this with his eyes closed and he wishes he could just knock himself unconscious but he swears those men are making out in the bunk across the way. He just knows it).
So, when it’s Valentine’s Day and Buck gets a letter from his sweet, sweet Marge and Buck absolutely shuts down, Benny really should have seen that coming. It surprises him that he didn’t see it coming, actually.
“Brady they’re acting like idiots.”
“Why? It’s Valentine’s Day! They’ve been dating since at least Buck’s birthday— what could possibly have happened?”
“That’s the thing, Brady. I have a theory.”
“Uh-oh. What is it.”
“Listen here, kid, I dunno how well you’ll take this.”
Brady’s eyebrows draw together.
“You don’t think they broke up on Valentine’s, do you?” Brady sounds horrified even at the thought. Before Benny can get in a word edgewise to calm him down, Brady is talking again. “But even if they did have some big blowout fight— Benny! They would never stay apart for long! Look at those two through everything! I mean—“
“Brady! That’s not it at all!”
All the stress instantly drops from Brady’s frame and is replaced with confusion in a moment.
“It’s not? Then… what is it.”
Benny heaves a sigh and runs a weary hand through his hair. Not paid enough for this…
“Listen, Buck got another letter from Marge today, right, ‘cause it’s Valentine’s and all, and Bucky got all sad about it—“
“Right! That makes sense.”
“Stop interrupting me.”
“Sorry!”
Benny glares.
“Sorry,” Brady says again, hands up in a peace offering.
After another moment of staring Brady down, Benny continues. “As I was saying, Bucky got all hurt about the letter, so my theory is that these two idiots,” Benny leans in closer and drops his voice for security’s sake as he continues, “have been dicking around this whole time and never actually talked about the fact that they’re both in love with each other.”
Brady gasps— loudly. He looks even more horrified than when he thought the Bucks broke up.
“NO WAY!”
“SHUT UP!” Benny hisses, looking around to make sure nobody is watching them. “But think about it for a minute.
“There’s no way they haven’t talked about it, Benny! You said so yourself, they’re always up at night talking and whispering— for hours sometimes!”
Benny gives him a wary look. “Yeah, but you honestly think either Buck or Bucky is willingly talking about their feelings for hours and hours?”
Brady purses his lips. “You got me there.”
There’s a beat of silence between them as they both sit with the revelation of it all.
“What happens now, then?”
“Well, one thing is for sure, if Bucky mopes around the barracks for one more goddamn minute I’ll lose my fucking mind, so I’m going to go tell Buck that his boyfriend is being an idiot. And frankly? That he is too.”
“Well, you better let me know how it goes tomorrow! This is SERIOUS, Benny!”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure whether I want to or not, you’ll find a way to get it out of me.”
Brady does, in fact, get the story out of Benny the next day.
“OH MY GOD HE WHAT????”
“Brady, would you calm down? And shut the hell up? I just told you what happened!”
“I know, I know! I just can’t believe it. You really mean to tell me that Bucky was moping in his own bunk after MONTHS of sleeping in Buck’s and when Buck confronted him about it he stood at the foot and talked and then suddenly aggressively climbed on top of Bucky for some sexually charged fight until they eventually just started making out?”
“That’s what I just said, Brady, yes.”
Brady starts laughing and doesn’t stop until there are tears in the corners of his eyes.
“I’m also pretty sure they said I love you, but I never can actually hear them. Just from the context.”
“OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOD THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.”
“Brady SHUT UP!”
~Fin
#john brady#benny demarco#john egan x gale cleven#john “bucky” egan#buck x bucky#major buck cleven#bucky cleven#buck cleven#bucky x buck#mota#mota fic#mota fanfic#buck(y)#clegan#POV benny DeMarco
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ALWAYS YOU. ⋆。°✩ carl grimes x reader .ᐟ WORD COUNT .ᐟ ⭑ 1.6K ꩜ .ᐟ WARNINGS ⭑ enemies to lovers, use of y/n, near-death, apocalypse stuff (of course), kissing <3 .ᐟ SUMMARY .ᐟ ⭑ after years of hating each other, the group gets sick of the constant arguments between you two and send you on a run together. ꩜ .ᐟ A/N .ᐟ ⭑ this is somewhat an edition to my carol fic, but you don't have to read that to read this! theres not any relevance besides a little reference to it here and there >_0
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you and carl's constant bickering was pretty normal to people at this point. i mean, they've been dealing with it since the prison.
you had been with lizzie and mika since the start, so you naturally arrived at the prison with them by your side.
what did this have to do with you and carl hating each other? well, probably the fact that lizzie was a bit... odd? she'd always name walkers, attempt to play with them, stupid things like that. and that pissed carl off.
-
"they're not people and they're not pets. don't name them." he sternly ordered lizzie, giving her a nasty look as he spoke.
as much as you understood where he was coming from, lizzie was like a sister to you, and you weren't going to let anyone talk to her like that.
"who do you think you are telling us what to do?" you put your hands sassily on your hips, giving him back the snotty look he was giving lizzie just a few seconds ago.
carl simply laughs in response, rolling his eyes at your response. "my dad is the leader here."
"so? what does that have to do with you?" carl looks at you as if he didn't have a plan of what to say after that. "...whatever. it doesn't mean anything, either way. you shouldn't be naming walkers. it's weird." he crossed his arms and turns around, walking away and signaling for patrick to come with.
-
...but there has to be a stop to everything.
as much as the group was used to your guys' bickering, they were sick of it. it was basically impossible to go a day without the two of you arguing. the two of you had a zero tolerance for one another, you were basically each others verbal punching bag.
so, rick and michonne decided to make a plan for the two of you to go on a run together. they told you separately that you needed to go on a run, but didn't say with who.
"hey." you heard called from behind you with a knock of the doorframe. you turned your head around to spot michonne with a smile. "we have you set up for a run today."
"oh, okay." you nodded, setting your comic book down to your side and spinning around on your bed to put your shoes on. you never questioned who you were going on a run with. frankly, you didn't care much. they never usually put you on runs with carl, and only with the same few people for a consistent schedule for everyone.
but carl was a different story. when rick told him, rick couldn't have prepared for how persisting carl would be about who he was going on a run with.
you see, with carl, he had to know everything about a run. where he was going, how he was getting there, who he was going with, everything.
"why can't you tell me who i'm going with?" carl threw his hands up in the air, confused and angry.
"why does it matter so much?" rick retorted, raising his eyebrow and crossing his arms.
"you told me were going to the center market. that's decently dangerous. i need to know who's going to be with me."
"...you're going with y/n." he caved, a hand on his forehead as he spoke.
"are you kidding me?" carls tone turned soft, lightly laced with anger. "that's too dangerous for her!"
carl was genuinely speaking, but rick was mostly confused why his first reaction was worry instead of anger.
"it's not too dangerous for her. that girls been through a lot. she knows how to handle herself."
"that doesn't change the fact that its dangerous-" "you're going on the run, that's final." rick cut carl off, walking out of his room and slamming the door shut.
after carl finished getting ready, you met up with him at the car.
"i'm going on a run with you?" you laughed, your eyebrow raised.
"yep, suck it up." carl blanky responded, hopping into the drivers seat swiftly.
you got into the passengers seat with a huff, crossing your arms and leaning your feet up on the dash as he started driving, but he quickly swiped your feet away.
"keep your feet off the dash." he ordered with his eyes still pealed on the road.
"whatever."
well, isn't this going to be a fun trip.
...
the two of you arrived at the center market, and to say it was packed with walkers would be an understatement. the two of you could still easily get past them and into the shops, but it was still dangerous.
you kept your knife in hand as you walked out with carl by your side holding his knife in one hand and having his other hand laying on his holstered gun around his waist.
you guys made it into the large shop that was simply just labeled 'food' and began scavenging for anything.
and to your guys' luck, it seemed as if no one had scavenged in here yet. at least not too much. you found canned food, bottled water, chips, so much. your backpacks were at least a couple ounces heavier afterwards.
"is that everything?" you asked carl, practically shouting across the store to him.
"keep it down!" he whisper yelled. "you're gonna attract them. and yes, as far as i can see."
you put your backpack back on, as just as you got your hand through the other strap, you heard a crash.
coming from the entrance of the building.
"y/n!" carl shouted, running over to your side.
"holy shit!" you pulled out your knife just in time to stab the walker coming up behind you. "god, oh, god."
carl caught up to you and stood by your side, gun in hand and shooting at the long distance walkers as you stabbed the ones closer.
"if you weren't shouting like a fucking idiot, maybe this wouldn't have happened." carl muttered as he shot the incoming wave of walkers roaming into the building.
"i know, i'm sorry!" you replied, your voice wobbly and anxious. you felt guilty enough all ready, and his smartass comments were not helping.
carl would usually snap back at you, but he didn't. instead, his face turned somber. “look, if we don’t make it out of this.. just remember that it was.. it was always you.” carl mutters under his breath as he’s slashing at the walkers.
“what?” you turn your head to face him, eyes wide in confusion.
but before he gave any explanation on his words, carl grabs your hand, interlocking your fingers together, and begins dragging you into a nearby room right through the walkers.
"keep the door shut!" he yells as he runs further into the room and with zero hesitation, you throw your back against the door, applying your full body weight onto it to assure the walkers don't get in.
carl pushes over a table into the corridor, signaling for you to quickly move before ramming it into the door.
he steps away from the door, breathless. he runs a hand through his hair as he re-regulates his breathing.
“…so.” you lay your hands on top of your knees, catching your breath. “what did you mean ‘it was always you?’”
carl rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, his face shading into a slightly pink tone. “..i don’t know.”
“come on, why did you say that then?” you persisted, stepping closer to him with your arms crossed. “you never say something for no reason.”
he sighs. “i thought we were going to die, and i didn’t want my last words to you to be something i didn’t mean.”
“so you didn’t mean the ‘fucking idiot’ comment?” you raised an eyebrow.
“no. i didn’t. i never really meant anything like that. i've never felt like that about you.” he averts his gaze down to his feet, messing with his hands. “kind of the opposite, actually.”
“…what?” you slowly processed what he was getting at.
“i mean, like… i can’t stand you, but i also can’t stand the thought of losing you. or you getting hurt, anything like that.” he anxiously confessed. “even after all of our pointless arguments-“
you grabbed the collar of his flannel and pulled him down into a kiss. when you pulled away, he stared back at you wide-eyed.
“…why did you do that?”
“because you never stop talking.” you laughed, staring at the dumbfounded boy lovingly.
“so you don’t hate me?” he muttered curiously.
“i never did. i just always thought that you hated me.”
...
the two of you were trapped in that little room for a bit, so you were left in an awkward silence, processing your emotions.
you were sitting criss-crossed in front of him, your hands behind you and leaning you up.
"y'know, people are gonna be confused when we get back to alexandria." you chuckle, looking at him with a smile.
"yeah, probably." he returns the smile. "at least we wont be at each others throats anymore."
"definitely." you responded, but your gaze quickly goes toward the window on the door. the walkers had gotten distracted by something and were walking in a different direction from the entrance of the shop.
"carl." you pointed towards the door, standing up quickly.
he nods, walking over to the table in front of the door and peaking to see if the walkers are gone before pushing the table out of the way, quickly grabbing your hand, and making a run for it.
the two of you ran through the door as fast as possible and through the walkers. luckily, you guys were faster than them, and you made it to the car. you practically jumped into the passengers seat, along with carl in the drivers seat, and he floored it back to alexandria.
and you guys still thankfully had your backpacks filled with food and water for the rest of the alexandrians.
and a repaired friendship, plus a newfound relationship.
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#🌙 — maxines fics#carl grimes#carl grimes imagine#carl grimes oneshot#carl grimes x y/n#carl grimes x reader#twd#the walking dead#the walking dead imagine#the walking dead oneshot#the walking dead x reader
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Please please PLEASE I need to know your thoughts on the characters that got shafted by both the narrative and fanfics. Sylvester. Magdalena. Florencia. Charlotte. Kinda sorta Hannelore (poor girl gets reduced to cutesy cheerleader for Myne to fawn over or smth in fics).
fool that you are, you have unsealed pandora's box and happened upon a topic i have a lot of thoughts about. i haven't read much aob fanfic so this is going to be mostly complaints i have with canon.
the main complication in my thoughts towards charlotte and hannelore is that there's a difference between rozemyne the character and the narrative of ascendance of a bookworm. rozemyne as a character has a LOT of internalized misogyny which compounds with an attraction to women and a disconnection to being a girl herself into the unique maelstrom of her more or less viewing other female characters through how good they are at being a cute girl/how much they like her. this means that while she's very complimentary towards charlotte and hannelore, she's also completely uninterested in them outside of their 1) being cute, 2) liking her, and 3) liking books. when her and wilfried's engagement is first announced she's shocked that charlotte is upset because rozemyne said she would support her because it just didn't occur to her that charlotte might want to aim for the archducal seat. rozemyne puts in a ton of legwork to rescue wilfried and put him back on the path to success, but she doesn't even consider trying to find a solution that allows charlotte the archducal seat without wilfried being ruined. i get that she doesn't want him in the temple initially, but after he improves you really think she would at least try to see if having him serve as the high bishop was an option especially at the dozen or so points in the story where everyone is despairing over the lack of manpower. charlotte is florencia's daughter so she wouldn't jeopardize florencia's position, she's better suited to the role, has no stain on her record, the leisegangs don't actively hate her, and, most importantly, she's the only one who actively shows interest in being the aub! and rozemyne not only doesn't try to help her achieve her dream, she doesn't even take enough of an interest in charlotte to notice it, let alone anything else about her except that she's a cute little sister. in fact, she actively diminishes charlotte's accomplishments and likes feeling superior to her.
the thing is that i have not yet started criticizing the story. rozemyne is allowed to be a deeply flawed character who is sometimes actively cruel to likable characters, but my problem lies with the fact that this cruelty doesn't go anywhere. i genuinely don't think aob realizes that rozemyne is mistreating charlotte or that as it currently stands the ehrenfest archducal family spent like the entire royal academy arc following step by step instructions for Georgine 2. having charlotte just grudgingly accept this because she admires rozemyne and doesn't think she has another option until the engagement gets canceled is, i guess, accurate to ascendance of a bookworm's setting where systemic misogyny means that only evil female characters get pissed off if they're screwed over, but that's... bad, both narratively and if you want your stories to treat women like people. i want charlotte to snap! in my rewrite i would give her and sylvester a running conflict where charlotte's mirroring georgine shows that sylvester still doesn't understand why georgine is the way she is and forces him to either reexamine his sexism or deal with the fact that this time he can't wholly blame the monster he created on veronica. i want them to fight! and i want her and rozemyne to fight, i want charlotte to challenge rozemyne's view of her and force rozemyne to choose between reexamining the way she treats cute girls or losing her adoring little sister. the fact that neither of these conflicts happen mean that charlotte as a character really just doesn't get to do anything. they do not let her cook a single time. she's sitting on the bench with the mountain of really interesting character conflicts and story conflicts she could have had as the first sympathetic major female character who is actually trying to become the aub(which i would have additional machinations for in my extensive "what if aob was communist" AU but that's not relevant right now), and instead everyone's like "let's check in on how wilfried's doing, does anyone wanna see wilfried continue to be bad at a job he doesn't even want".
hannelore gets basically the same treatment from rozemyne, and similarly my problem is basically that hannelore has no problem with this. her being a cute petite shy girl despite being from the ditter duchy is at best an interesting starting point for a character, but aob has decided to explore systemic misogyny in feudalism by reducing the majority of its female characters to props who really only exist in relation to their male family members(or rozemyne), which, again, i find boring! i just think it's very convenient how despite rozemyne saying over and over how aggressive dunkelfelger women are, the only active dunkelfelgerian female character for the majority of the story is really meek and quiet. genuinely i would almost entirely write out lestilaut and give the majority of his stuff to hannelore since he's mainly acting on what he thinks hannelore wants anyway. in my mind hannelore's first major character action is to challenge rozemyne to ditter for the ownership of schwartz and weiss, rozemyne takes her lightly because she's a cute girl, and then nearly gets crushed until she pulls out the lord of evil strats before collapsing, after which point hannelore freaks out and it's revealed that she's not an antagonist, she just thought the shumils were cute and wanted to be their owner, at which point rozemyne invites her to join the library committee. in general dunkelfelger having less of a sharp gender divide than ehrenfest because both men and women are expected to be muscleheads is like the most gimme way to actually show cultural differences between duchies and actually iterate on yurgenschmidt's society allegedly prioritizing skill and mana over gender(and this keeps almost being implemented only for aob to never really go anywhere with it). rozemyne keeps trying to fit hannelore into the box of a cute feminine girl by her standards which provides friction between them because hannelore IS a cute feminine girl by dunkelfelger standards. she doesn't have to actively fight with rozemyne over this the way i want charlotte to, but i really wish she had more of a presence in the story and also EVERYONE in dunkelfelger thinking that rozemyne loves ditter and the only reason she has to refuse is because of her physical weakness would be so much funnier if the primary source of misunderstanding is that she keeps not realizing she's agreeing to play ditter until it's too late because she's blinded by hannelore's cuteness. everyone else is like "rozemyne you have to stop accepting her challenges rozemyne you're going to lose trade rights to rinsham" and rozemyne is like "i didn't realize a 'summer tea party' was a dunkelfelger womens' euphemism for ditter :(". this is the only rewrite that i think wouldn't require a total overhaul of aob's structure and that fits with the series' overall comedic tone.
florencia has the unfortunate problem that she exists entirely in relation to sylvester and elvira, which means that when the two of them have their interesting edges sanded away her stocks crash through the floor. florencia serves as the bridge between sylvester and the world outside of the eye of veronica's storm, she is simultaneously the only person he fully trusts and someone who felt the full force of veronica's abuse, so you really think that'd go somewhere and that his arc would involve him realizing there's aspects of her that up until now he hasn't been forced to deal with and her arc would exist. instead mostly she's just written as either elvira's bestie or sylvester's handler, to the point that when aob goes all in on child marriage during brunhilde's proposal florencia isn't even in the room. the end of the stick she gets is so short it can only be seen by a microscope. i don't even really understand how you could hate her aside from i guess wanting wilfried's neglect to be her fault? which it isn't! it's, for the most part, sylvester's.
and oh boy sylvester. his squandered potential is unmatched and i will never not be mad about it. what they did to my man is a crime and if it isn't it should be.
like okay firstly i re-read the brother sylvester segment recently and i was NOT imagining it, there's no way in hell sylvester was always meant to only be against pedophilia because he's a wife guy. during his introduction when myne asks if he's going to the orphanage to look for flowers he is specifically upset that someone her age is thinking about that, and counters it by saying that he's skilled enough to find girls in the noble's quarters. the second part is relevant because it means that it's not the wife guy thing, which leaves only the first thing. firstly, his reaction being disgust implies that this is a moral issue for him, and his citing her age specifically makes it clear that's his sticking point, which rules out it being that it's sex outside of wedlock or that he finds temple girls unclean(in fact it also implies that he only wants girls with equal or greater social status to him who can therefore say no). the reason this is interesting to me is that this is very weird in noble society. ferdinand actually spells this out at one point when benno is similarly disgusted by rozemyne being implied to be his lover, where he says that it's a normal age gap in noble society and that it must not be among commoners, which benno doesn't contest, implying that this is true, and it appears to be! from the pairings we see, it seems that overall, commoner marriages are almost all unrelated adults, which makes sense, because most people do that unless systemic forces incentivize them to do something else, and implies that aob is commenting on the fact that pedophilia/incest in historical political marriages were not naturalistic, but instead something that was mandated by the specific way the system of hereditary feudalism works where marriage is a tool to connect political pieces and therefore you can't afford to be picky about how well those pieces match and in fact the power gaps that come with that are often actively useful to prevent bonds from being broken. that's what i meant when i said awhile ago that i was willing to see where aob was taking things! which made it all the more interesting when sylvester showed up and seemed to be showing that this was going to be a conflict that was explored in more detail.
to go all the way back to foundations, my reading of the prior gen archducal family is that sylvester as a character is the way he is primarily due to the fact that the aggressive favoritism veronica raised him with shielded him from a lot of the abuse their system mandates at the cost of harshening the abuse on everyone outside of him, which puts him in a really paradoxical position. on the one hand, he's fervently idealistic and puts almost no importance on his archducal status, so he's basically never intentionally cruel, but he's also ignorant to a lot of issues and is incredibly bad at reading people specifically because nobody whose life he can ruin is able to chew him out for doing that. he understands noble euphemisms, but the level of emotional concealment that everyone under him has to preserve combined with the fact that veronica actively disincentivized him from learning how to read people means that he doesn't realize when he's hurting people, and almost nobody can tell him. sylvester's quiet "sorry for not noticing" when rozemyne tells him that his attempt to cement her position by spreading printing as fast as possible was actually making things worse is probably the most direct the story gets about this.
so sylvester is a good guy! although he's irresponsible and ignorant, when it's actually revealed that he's hurting people he always tries to rectify it, and is clearly willing to sacrifice for the good of other people... but he's also the archduke, which means that regardless of his intentions, he's in control of a lot of peoples' lives, and no mistake he makes is victimless. the way their society works means that his obliviousness has a body count, including his sister.
his relationship with georgine had so much potential. georgine had her life ripped away from her after being severely abused in service of a future she's been cut off due to the existence of a completely innocent and goodhearted kid and is then forced to watch him grow up in bliss, wrecking the lives of everyone around him in the process. this is veronica's fault, obviously, but it wouldn't have felt that way. we unfortunately don't really get to see her perspective on the training she tried to give him(was she really trying to prepare him? was she trying to drag him down to her level? was it both?), but the thing is that they are both entirely justified in hating each other. sylvester was the recipient of an enormous amount of privilege that he wasn't even aware of and that came at the expense of everyone around him. simultaneously, they're not inherently bad people. there's every chance that if they were born in a different world or even as commoners, they would've been completely normal siblings. and yet they weren't, so they aren't. the first time we hear about georgine from his perspective sylvester actually says that he understands that georgine got screwed over when she was married into ahrensbach, but either that also got retconned or he didn't really understand the weight of it because for the rest of the series he just treats her like a flat antagonist. (which i think is because it was added in the LN, so maybe it just wasn't canon in the webnovel?)
i already mentioned him a lot in charlotte's section but yeah mostly i just want to give the man an actual character arc instead of having him just slowly flatten into "goofy wife guy". have his disconnect with noble society go somewhere! instead of having him realize that despite his intentions to raise his kids in the safety bubble he was raised in, the cycle of abuse is inescapable so long as the nobility persists, and instead of deciding "aw dang i guess the cycle of abuse is just inescapable then" have him question if we should have nobles! i genuinely don't get why people say aob isn't preachy. it is, it's just very conservative so its preaching is "the divine right of kings is fine but we should add capitalism" which is the default for medieval fantasy. which is bad. like is it so crazy to have his reaction to learning that there's no inherent difference between nobles and commoners through rozemyne's mere existence followed by the revelation that even orphans can become literate and skilled enough to match nobles be deciding that this distinction is perhaps completely arbitrary? when rozemyne is explaining how widespread lower class literacy revolutionized the world to ferdinand and she's like "oh but here everyone relies on nobles for mana and nobles can just use it to preach about how awesome they are" i thought that was going to be subverted because as a commoner with mana who understands that the devouring means that mana is not inherent to nobles she should know that's as false as the intelligence argument. but then it just wasn't. i will stop that for now though as i'm currently lying to you about not sneaking in an additional rant about how i would make aob communist.
back on topic, as soon as rozemyne joins noble society, aob panics and starts introducing a bunch of reasons why child marriage is actually totally ethical(i guess freida explaining why being a mistress is actually her best case scenario was supposed to be like "oh phew what a relief" and not "well that's horrifying") but because sylvester(and benno who actually gets the exact same thing done to him) has already expressed disgust at this despite having prior experience with it, suddenly it's that sylvester is just a wacky silly weirdo who only wants to be married to florencia because he just loves her that much. although he is obviously in complete agony when he says that if she and wilfried can't put up with each other she'll have to marry him, why is apparently not worth going into. in fact, it'll never be worth going into again! rozemyne will continue being kinda grossed out by huge age gaps and a lot of other characters seem kinda reluctant to marry kids, but this also never goes anywhere and now that sylvester is just a Wife Guy she agrees with everyone saying that he should just take a second wife. fermyne is its own thing(SEPARATE RANT), sylvester only seems to really care about their potential relationship insomuch as it affects their reputations and by p5vol12 he's been reduced to cutesy teasing them about rumors of their love. really though the nail in the coffin on this front was brunhilde's proposal. firstly, sylvester doesn't even really do anything during it! brunhilde initiates it and rozemyne is the primary opponent(with her objections all knocked down easily and treated as ridiculous), sylvester just kind of sits there outside of being upset at the implication that he'd abuse brunhilde, and then he agrees to it and that's that. tbc i do find this morally abhorrent not least because brunhilde turns to the camera and more or less goes "you might have some objections, but let me explain why marrying a teenager is actually a great idea", but then to add insult to injury it's also narratively really weak.
and while i do think that his final scene with georgine where he's begging her to explain why she hates him when he never did anything to her and she's got "the best life a woman can have" is really impactful and i think better than him already knowing why she hates him, it's actually really weird when outside of that he hasn't had any kind of character arc and his realizations that he's been perpetuating a lot of the harm that veronica and noble society have normalized for him are shut down(mainly by ferdinand which ideally would've GONE SOMEWHERE). and then it's dropped again to go back to the boring action climax, pursued by deus ex machina. it really needed to be a turning point in sylvester's arc where he's forced to accept that georgine does not want to reconcile with him and his never needing to understand her motivations is a big part of why. if he's supposed to be a tragic character he can fail to improve, and keep convincing himself that georgine is just a simplistic force of evil who hates him for no reason, but if he is going to improve he needs to figure out why she hates him by putting effort in himself and being willing to accept that he's not a kid being bullied by his big sister anymore, he's an adult who's responsible for his own actions, a lot of which made the situation worse.
to tie things back into charlotte, the lost potential between charlotte and sylvester is staggering because HE'S DOING IT AGAIN!!!! he's doing EXACTLY what veronica did with opposite intentions, in his attempt to keep wilfried from being abused the way he was by making his future secure he ends up neglecting and exposing charlotte to veronica's abuse and then continuing to neglect her. through his inability to understand what his childhood abuse was actually caused by, he ends up abusing and neglecting all of his children, but especially charlotte. this isn't even really explored through wilfried outside of people being frustrated that sylvester is busting his ass trying to keep the incompetent wilfried as the future aub because it's the best way he can see to keep him from suffering despite it actually harming him more which IS interesting but not the way it's implemented, and rozemyne's specific situation means that she generally interacts with him like he's a boss she's on relatively friendly terms with and doesn't view him as or need him to be a parent(which also shields her from basically all of this). but despite charlotte having unquestionably the most fraught relationship with him, aob again just has her put up with this. sylvester is one of the most well fleshed-out and sympathetic abusive characters i've ever seen so it's really frustrating that charlotte, his most affected victim, just gets shoved to the side because if we had to deal with the fact that despite his good intentions sylvester spent the vast majority of the story leaving her out in the rain to focus on his golden children then he'd have to be a textually morally complex character.
although to try and speculate on why things ended up this way, a lot of this is explained by the fact that afaik aob's webnovel was solely from rozemyne's perspective without a lot of the short stories so basically everyone except rozemyne and ferdinand had all their character development patched in for the LN which is probably why nobody except them has any semblance of an arc so because rozemyne as a protagonist is so disinterested in other people, you kinda can't give characters really detailed arcs onscreen because she either zones out or stubbornly tries to keep fitting people into her boxes. it'd be different if the original story had other POVs and therefore characters could do things that she doesn't care about or that it would be weird for her to be present for(like sylvester and charlotte definitely need to clash on their own; it'd mess with the tone a lot if rozemyne had to be sitting awkwardly on the sidelines so the audience could witness it). it is possible to give characters detailed arcs that the unreliable narrator doesn't pick up on and stories with deep worlds tend to have a lot of characters doing things when the narrator isn't looking, but it's REALLY hard to have entire character arcs that the narrator doesn't pick up on work because you run the risk of either not making it so the reader can actually see that's what's happening or you make it so obvious that the unreliable narrator has to be cartoonishly wrong to avoid just being a narrator accurately describing things. i'm told there's a hannelore spinoff which might be more interesting but this series has torched so much of my goodwill towards it that after the main story wraps up i'm putting my foot down and listening to this excellent advice:
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Im pissed here ⬇️ This is a rant made mid-rage
written after an encounter with one of those bloggers who hate everything that isn’t canon and dislikes Wolfstar and throws up from the thought of Jegulus (?).
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First of all, there are a lot of tropes I don't really like and that I don't take part of. I, for one, like my Lupin awkward and scrawny, not like a cool casanova. I struggle to see the beauty of making Regulus all soft and dovy, as his personality from the start has been based on the fact that he's cold, hurt and uptight. I have never read Y/N as I feel conflicted with the arrangement. WITH THAT SAID, I feel no bloody need to point out, complain or talk poorly about those who do enjoy these things.
I'm a big jily fan. I was 13 (isch??) when I entered the fandom and back then “jegulus” wasn’t a thing. (I've grown to enjoy the "jegulus ship" though, and some of my favorite fics are jegulus-centered.)
I get people being like:
“huh jegulus? how would that even???”
and I also get people who hold onto jily like a life jacket.
BUT for the love of the gods, that doesn't mean people need to be such c*nts.
“This fandom has gotten out of hand”
“I don’t like it when people make ships that aren’t canon” (????? why are you here then?????)
and also people who are so butt-hurt bc. of adaptions and interpretations, like??? what do you think a fandom does???
“That character would never act like that” DO YOU FUCKING KNOW THEM PERSONALLY??
“that’s not realistic at all” your mom’s not realistic at all.
“rosekiller is so offensive” YOU ARE OFFENSIVE
you’re literally 40 go AWAY.
If you want it to be 100% accurate to the books, read. the. fucking. books??????
I’m not speaking for those who change a character to unrecognition, but I stumble upon people who are still mad about Wolfstar??? And it pisses me off dawg. It pisses me off.
Don’t attack people who enjoy non-canon queerness or a cool Remus Lupin or (gods forbid) a kind ratboy (you know he’s my everything)
Kindly piss off Karen (of course not if ur lovely, and happen to be named Karen, you stay right where you are <3)
Sorry, I had to get that out of mi system. Just think it’s bollocks that people can’t just sit back and shut up.
FYI: This house (blog) is safe to all and I hope ye kno’ that nasty hags are just hiding their weird ass values behind the statement “it’s not canon”. They themselves are mucky. They are a bad joke with a borin' punchline ;)
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I wanted to share this cuz even if it might not make complete sense (as I wrote it in fury at 3 am) it’s a good enough reminder that yeh should stay gay, stay loud, and keep making old angry people mad. Ship weird shit and idk..make James an emo just to piss somebody off, who gives a shit.
kisses my sweets
#the marauders#marauders#marauders era#remus lupin#lily evans#james potter#peter pettigrew#jily#wolfstar#jegulus
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blade x reader - period s3x
imagine: you're not feeling too hot, on your period and suffering in bed, but you have a generous boyfriend called blade who knows exactly how to get you to sleep.
if you would like to request a fic/send a prompt, please read pinned and head to my ask!
there is no obligation to send any tips but if you feel like passing on a good deed, my kofi is https://ko-fi.com/idolelysia
cw: period sex, piss mention, oral sex, ass play.
the worst thing about your period, aside from how little you’re able to get done and the moodswings, is the pain. you’ve always suffered from horrendous cramping, heavy bleeding, bloating, and every other symptom under the sun.
there are days during that week of the month where you can do nothing but curl up into the fetal position, clench your legs together, your hand not resting on your crotch for anything nefarious, just comfort.
one afternoon, after showering to freshen up with no relief from the misery, you resign yourself to a nap. your boyfriend is already in bed, cosy in his boxers and a sweatshirt, his long hair tied up in a ponytail.
You smile at him and then start to pout. "don't be mad, but i think i need to accept the fact today is a write off."
"get in here." you gratefully climb over him onto the bed, curling up and letting out a deep sigh as your head hits the pillow. your tampon is only making you more conscious of your flow with how it would leak within an hour, and that wouldnt make for a peaceful nap.
"i'll change the sheets later...," you mumble. "don't worry about that," blade shushes you, his voice soft and gentle. you nuzzle into his shoulder. "It's okay, my girl." "mhm."
blade lowers the volume on the television while you assume your usual position, hand between your thighs. You try to focus on your breathing to allow yourself to fall into a deep slumber, but it's no use.
the cramping pain that extended right down from your abdomen to your legs is just intensifying. You moan as and wriggle around, trying to relieve it any way possible.
"babe?” blade mumbles.
"mhhm? im sorry, i know i'm disturbing you-," "you're not at all. i just...," blade slips his own hand between your thighs. "maybe an orgasm could help you sleep?"
"i...," you aren’t a blusher, but for some reason, you feel embarrassed. "i promise i wasnt trying to.... be presumptuous and initiate something-,"
"i know," blade presses his hand down onto your much smaller one, and smirks when you gasp. your hand is the only barrier between your cunt, and blade’s touch. "but you sound like you might need it." "b-but you know i don't like to make it gross...,"
"do you think its gross when i fuck you and my cock and my fingers come out covered in blood?" blade blinks, wide eyed and innocent. it takes everything for you not to moan at the words alone. "no... i think its hot."
"so do i. selfishly, this is one of my favorite times of the month." a grin flashes across his face, before he gently retracts his hand and uses it to roll you onto your back. "spread your legs."
he's gone down on you on your period before, but never while you were freely bleeding this heavily. but you don’t have time to feel self conscious, because the minute blade slips two of his long fingers into your pussy and gently pumps in and out, the lubrication from the blood and cum making it too easy for him to make you feel full. "more," you moan, but blade just laughs. "you're so fucking soaked, you slut."
blade is positioned on his knees between your spread legs, and makes sure to make eye contact before lowering his head, painfully slowly, like you have all the patience in the world. he doesn't break the eye contact until he has to, and he burrows his whole face into your warm cunt. the hand he was using to fuck you is now digging into your hip, keeping you restrained, and the other slips underneath your butt, fingers itching to play with your asshole. but eating you out is the main event. as blade’s tongue swirls inside you and he licks at your clit, just gently enough for it to be considered a tease, you are squirming. You’re sensitive at the best of times, but this is actually threatening to humiliate you with how quick you could climax. You muster the strength to start grinding against his face. "you ok?" blade pulls back, looking at you again.
"what?!" "you're being a brat." You narrow your eyes. "are you for real?"
Blade loves winding you up, but you can't do it today. you’re destroyed. Blade’s face is soaked, the sun shining in through the window making it absolutely clear that his face is coated in not just blood, but clear, thick cum too. "kiss me," you demand, and blade knows you’re feeling better already - but isn't going to complain about continuing to take care of you. You’ve forgotten all about your reservations regarding mess, and you clumsily climbs on top of blade, diving in for a sloppy kiss. You taste yourself, and fuck, there is something so hot about it, if you do say so yourself. You suck on blade’s bottom lip and cup his face to smear the blood further across it. he looks like an animal after devouring its helpless prey. and blade is licking his lips. Hungry for more. "leave some for me," he pouts. "not fair, babe." "you cant get enough of my taste, can you?" "you really are an insufferable little bitch."
You kiss him again, blade’s hands are around your waist and pulling you closer, while you fumble underneath his sweatshirt to start flicking and twisting at his nipples - you know how much he gets off on sharp pains like that - “fuck, you’re a desperate little thing.”
"always, baby," blade moans. "please. please please please." "please what?" "i wanna taste y-you... please... i wanna .. i wanna breathe you in... i want to drown in your cunt...i want every drop of you i want it i want it."
You shift forwards and lower yourself onto blade’s lips, blade dutifully supporting you from behind which has the added benefit of being able to pull you down further onto his face.
"this'll shut you up," you mumble, and it's not quite true, because though slightly muffled, blade is louder than ever, louder than even you were. there's something about a boy moaning into your pussy with his hot breath that drives you insane, and you know you won't last long, you’ll spill while still sitting on his face like its a throne made just for you. but thats how blade worships you, after all. he falls apart for you, so he deserves a good view of you falling apart for him.
"you feel what you do to me?" Blade presses his tongue into you in response. of course he can't penetrate much, but it's enough. You ride his tongue, closing your eyes and your hips rising and falling, throwing your neck back. You let the cusses and the whimpers and the "blade"s fall out of your mouth until the moment his lips latch around your throbbing clit and his tongue wraps around in weird and wonderful directions, you cannot even figure out what he was fucking drawing on you in his mind (blade tells you later it was the word "mine"), and when he refuses to stop stimulating your urethra when you warn him to not, you don’t have a choice - "fuck," you yell “blade, blade, bla--," You tremble into the orgasm, feeling the familiar warm sensations of a gush of blood, squirting, and a trickle of piss all while blade digs his fingers into your ass so hard that you can't move from his face.
then, finally, you can roll off him and fall asleep in seconds, this time to the soundtrack of blade jacking off beside you under the covers, not being able to keep your name out of his mouth as he does.
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So I've encountered some WILD vague posting about the CCCC fandom and it's arguments about gore fics. I haven't directly interacted with this fandom for over a year - not because of anything bad, I just moved on to other interests to be clear, however the fact that this issue that I encountered a full YEAR ago is still a prominent issue in the fandom is crazy. And according to my boyfriend, who still actively engages with the main section of the fandom and their fanfictions, it's apparently gotten a LOT worse.
So I'm gonna be clear, I still engage with CCCC and CJ's media. I still listen to his music, I still engage with art on tumblr, as well as headcanons, I still draw HMSW (plus two of my system's cohosts are directly sourced from the media). I just haven't read the fanfiction or gone on CJFS for a while. Hearing that this has been so bad, it's come to vague posting back and forth on tumblr makes me so fuckin fed up with this shit.
Read to the end of my post before you form an opinion on this, I have nuance, okay?
Hi people, maybe it doesn't take a genius to take a step back and figure out that saying that you should be allowed to make reasonless and intense gore, abuse, and torture fics about a REAL GUY'S personification of his own personal struggles with mental health and suicide is insanely entitled /neg.
Heart, Mind, Soul, and Whole are not just independent characters from Chonny Jash. They are his (self-admitted) personifications of his mental health struggles, thusly, they are him. CJ has said that Whole is just him.
Excusing making fanfiction about intense abuse and gore and torture and cannibalism and god knows what else about HMSW on 'they're AUs' or 'they're interpretations' is not okay. Usually, I'd agree that you should be allowed to make fanfiction freely without people telling you what to do. HOWEVER! This is a real man's struggle with his mental health so I think that there are certain lines and boundaries that should be placed out of respect for CJ. Reasonless gore isn't necessarily bad, but reasonless gore about a real person's struggles is above and beyond disgusting. I've seen someone argue that saying that is government state censorship...
Guys, there is a distinctive difference between 'reasonless fluff' and 'reasonless gore'. One is wanting them to get along and be nice. The other is wanting them to torture each other. I don't think it takes a genius to understand there's a huge difference between 'I want them to snuggle' and 'I want violence to be done upon them'.
I think over the past year, I've kept this idea to myself because I wasn't directly involved and I didn't want to face the backlash at the time. Then my boyfriend got slammed in dms by someone who had these views, so now I'm pissed. I have personal shit in the game now and I cannot hold myself at bay anymore because I'm at my wits fucking end.
I think a lot of writers who delve into these intense topics should keep in mind 'what would CJ think if he saw that I was making fics about gore/abuse/torture with characters that personify himself?' Not because all gore or abuse is bad, they can be used for some wonderful symbolism or tension when pulled off with meaning and though and tact - rather, it's because some people take it way too far, sometimes without realising. I've seen a lot of people I was close to get stuck in an echo-chamber and not realise they spiraled from the headcanon that The Juno Incident was a violent blinding to something as intense as frequent abuse or gore between HMS.
I want the people on the opposing side to realise that I'm not going after gore or violence or intense themes. Some of my favourite pieces of media contain very violent, gory, abusive, intensely triggering themes, and sometimes, they are reasonless and because the developer or writer wanted to explore different forms of horror and fear. I don't personally believe that those kinds of themes should carry over to CCCC because (for the fifth time I'm mentioning it but I feel like I really need to drill it into some people's heads) the album is about a real person's struggle with suicide and his own mental health.
I'm not trying to censor anyone's views, it's just that I think sometimes there's just general common sense boundaries surrounding fandoms that are about someone's mental health.
An additional point is how often these fics tend to be quite ableist and I do see these writers project their internalised ableism onto HMS, which is a much bigger issue in the fandom since about 90% of people headcanon Heart as being somewhere on the blind spectrum and Mind as having some sort of issue with his voice that means he needs to use a vocal implant/Mind being a robot (which can very quickly spiral into ableism depending on how it's used).
Frequently, I see people portray Heart's blindness as making him weak or helpless and the same with Mind and Soul if people headcanon them as having implants or prosthetics or some form of disability and use it in their gore fics. Due to a lot of gore/torture fics using helplessness from injury as horror, it can very easily become quite ableist. I've been in fandoms with a whole month dedicated to harming their faves, and this can be an issue with them as well, not just the CCCC fandom. It can be done without ableism, but more often than not (especially in the CCCC fandom) people aren't looking for it when they write and can create ableist fics about a helpless character because their new/old disabilities.
I also saw someone talking about mischaracterisation and how that ties into this whole thing, but that's for another time because it's partially a separate topic that I could do a full length thesis essay on, so I'll do it another time.
TLDR; Don't make gore/torture/abuse fics about a real person's personifications of himself and his mental health/suicide struggle. That's fucked???
#cccc#chonny jash#chonnys charming chaos compendium#yes i'm maintagging this because this should be common sense i fear#i'm not trying to 'set rules' hun - i'm trying to stop you making socially unacceptable gore fics about a real dude#like guys... imagine someone from your irl life found out you were doing this...#fucking crazy man#i'm prepared for the backlash because if i can make 1 person realise this then i'm happy
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First of all: Long Live the Queen! Hope you're doing great, your stories are a real delicacy... I first discovered your Tsunami fic when I was in my jjk era, but your Arsenic Blues woke up my inner pjo fan. So eager to see how this all unfold.
But for now, time for the Rankings!
My personnal RoR favorites based on the manga only:
1) Shiva--> Not in the harem, but I had to place him somehow. Was searching for a Shiva fic in the first place. Love the himbo energy. At least it's good to see he's one of the "sane" one in your story.
2) Anubis--> Same, feral himbo doggo energy, can we ask for more?
3) Beelzebub--> Noo don't unalive yourself Bb love u so pretty haha🥺
4) Hadès--> All Hail to the King, here for the BigBro energy
5) Poseidon--> Mytho/Pjo fan here, of course he's one of my favorite gods, but I'm not a fan of his RoR portrayal. He's pretty tho.
6) Apollon--> Too effeminate for my taste, I was rooting for Leonidas anyway.
7) Loki--> U ugly ass, stinky ass, nasty ass bi***
Now, the interesting part, the Ranking based on [Arsenic Blues], as for now, until chapter 31:
1) Beelie Bestie 🤗! It seems you will soon give us reasons to hate him, but for now he's my personal favorite. Hope he will overcome his current difficulties. Fun fact: I tried to translate "Beelie" in my language, tried to find an equivalent nickname, I found "Bébou" (pronounced beeboo, another way to say "baby"). That’s so cute!
2) Loki--> I know it's unlikely but... is this bad that I really want him to take Percy's virginity 😳? Your writing is soooo good, it made me root for him of all people. Everyone loves a good outsider, and since he doesn't want to kill Percy anymore, he climbs up the ranking.
3) Anubis--> Favorite from the manga, I was sooo happy to see that u included the doggo. Didn't appear yet, but I have really high hopes for him. Beware the Allmighty Knot!
4) Poseidon--> This is a dark fic, I understand the appeal, the taboo of the incestual relationship, but since he's already her father, her family, the one who has authority over her, I think he has an unfair advantage compared to the others. This is the reason he's kinda low ranked, but I really loved the relationship he built with our best girl. Embrace Fatherhood (but not too much😰)
5) Hadès--> Same here, too much authority over her, doesn't have the appeal of the gradually evolving relationship. Creepy old uncle, hope your non-existent liver bursts. For now, he's the one who had the most "action" with Percy, so it seems unlikely that he will have her virginity as well.
6) Apollon--> Well, at least he's funny 😅. I'm sorry, but based on his pathetic simpy behavior, I have to give him the stamp of the "Whiny Little Bitch" of this story. Don't worry tho, there always have to be one in a fic, and he's not as bad as his Tsunami counterpart (Yuuta you nasty motherfucker I had faith in you-).
7) The Seventh--> Seeing the results of the poll, it seems I'm one of the only weirdos who voted for Ahura Mazda. Raa would be awesome too, but I have to say I was disturbed when I first saw that angry buff dude in the spin-off. For me, Raa was still that muscle mommy from the webtoon/manhwa Ennead (read Ennead. Ennead is good for your health). I just want the 7th to not be Cu Chulainn. I know I would still love it if you include him (cause ur writing is golden) but that's just a preference of mine.
I hope I'm understood. That's a big ass message, my thoughts are all over the place and my home country is known for having a shit level in english.
If you're interested I could do the same kind of ranking for Tsunami/Bloodflood. Have a great day, Peace!
A SHIVA LOVER OMG HIIIII
the anime did him sooooo good, he's so hot there, i'm glad they didn't fuck him up like LOOK AT HIM
the bonus chapter for chapter 91 is about shiva AND IM SO PISSED IT HASN'T BEEN TRANSLATED YET, I WANNA READ IT SO BAD I DON'T EVEN CARE IF ITS SUPER SHORT 😭😭
also, YES PLEASE you're free to give me your own bloodflood/tsunami rankings too!!!
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Man, how bad has the hotd fandom had to become that I, the most non-confrontational person ever, am doing two rant posts in less than a week...
Seriously? Body-shaming someone? And kink-shaming in the same sentence, I guess? Like, seriously.
There has been said a lot about the fact you shouldn't body-shame people. And guess what, behind characters on tv are always very real actors. No, I don't want to even start on why body-shaming is fucking shit. People have done that, and they did it more eloquently I ever could.
What really, really pisses me off is that last season everybody was gushing over how lean Aemond is. How his waist is so snatched. I mean... what do you expect? Did you expect him to have tight-laced a corset for that look? Someone who looks lean with clothes on will look lean without them!
That said, let me add one thing, though. Personally I was taken aback when I saw his whole ribcage. Because, even though I grew up in the 90s when that was the pinnacle of beautiful, I don't worship ribs. I don't like seeing people's ribs any more than I like seeing animal's ribs. I'm always worried when I can so clearly count ribs on someone; and that's because that is how my mother looks, and she desperately tries to keep her weight and not lose any more. So I was worried that maybe Ewan had fallen to the very unhealthy Hollywood standard of starving and dehydrating himself for that scene. A lot of it was the angle in the scene, though. We can see that when we see Aemond naked in ep3. I can't count his ribs in that episode. If I curled up like he did in ep2, you would probably see my ribs, too, and I'm nowhere near thin.
And now for the kink-shaming. I find that disgusting. Maybe the scene was shocking to some people, I don't know. But most of the Aemond fans have been daddy-fying him. Big bad daddy Aemond is a dynamic that is in so so many fics. But the other way around is disgusting? A mommy kink that isn't even sexual as far as we know is so disgusting that you have to pretend to vomit at it? Really.
All of the internet preaches emotional vulnerability. It's a good thing, right. Being vulnerable with people you trust. But we're shaming a character who understandibly has problems with being vulnerable? And I wonder, is it because it shattered all the daddy dom fantasies? Or is it because it's a sex worker, and one older than him, too? I have to wonder if the outrage would've been the same if they had Aemond go to Helaena for comfort? Everyone bent over themselves to logic in Helaemond after s1, how would it be received if Helaena had been in the madam's position? But who am I kidding? I would bet then people would dig up the incest arguments all of a sudden. Anyway, I'm tired now. Thanks for reading.
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I see so much discourse on X about Celeborn and as a multi shipper it's quite annoying. I don't think people realize that Haladriel isn't going anywhere. In fact, when you compare all the established canon couple fanworks against all the protagonist/antagonist (even anti-heros) fanworks in ALL SERIES/BOOKS/SHOWS/ETC TO EVER EXIST, there will always be more of the latter simply because of 2 reasons: the what if's to be explored and the forbidden aspect of it. I wish ppl would calm down. I also find it silly when I see my own mutuals dunk on Haladriel over the 'toxic' aspects and it bothers me too since I like both ships. Unlike Celedriel, you guys can take a Sauron & Galadriel relationship (in all sense of the word, not just in a pairing context) and take it in ANY direction you want, with enough creativity. You can write them as friends in an AU, or even before they became known by their names (like her meeting Mairon before he became Sauron). You can write S1 and S2 (even 3-5) divergence fics, redemption arcs, dystopia fics, crack fics, dead doves, or even fluff (like off-stage AU where they're not enemies off screen). Heck, since you guys got the mind palace thing, and with her growth over the ages, you can even find ways to make non-AU fluff/hurt&comfort (maybe when they're both tired of this endless fight of the ages because it's a stalemate and he wants to repent but he can't due to Morgoth's corruption and he knows it?). Haladriel has a cosmic connection, and I think this implies that even if one of them dies, it will still exist somehow even when they pass into the Undying lands. Haladriels don't understand how much advantage they have with being portrayed by actors with amazing chemistry, an established and growing fanbase, an entire season without any kind of background conflict that takes the focus away from them as their relationship was explored and developed, having it all: UST, 'acquaintances fighting alongside each other to become friends' and the 'friends-to almost?-to enemies' aspect, and there are even Tolkien's writings that confirm he is capable of redemption. I've even seen well-written fan theories on ways that he can redeem himself too. It's like star-crossed lovers baked into every kind of trope that ppl like to explore. Really, I don't understand how it's not obvious enough. Yes, she ends up with Celeborn, and they are happily married and their relationship is secure and comfy. I know that may sound boring to some, but that's why I like Haladriel too, because their relationship isn't confined to only one narrative, unlike Tolkien's works. Yes, you can argue that Haladriel has a doomship narrative because they don't end up together, but the appeal of doomships is that you can DO so much with it in fanon, even completely reverse it (as I've seen in fanfics already). If you tried to do something similar with an established canon ship where they are supposed to be happily married, it doesn't make much sense, unless it's for angst. Celeborn is just a humble normal elf and he doesn't have any that. He just trying to vibe, support Galadriel, and not piss anyone off lol. And I say all of that as a pro-Celeborn fan lol. Sorry for this long rant, I just wish they would leave my poor silver clam alone ;_; and for fans to stop fighting.
I agree 💯 with all of this. That’s why I can happily digest all forms of haladriel. Modern AU, canon divergence, coffee shop fluff, Sauron redemption arc, socially awkward Mairon. All of it. And thank peanut butter and bagels the fanfic writers in this fandom are bar none some of the best fucking writers I have ever read. We are so lucky.
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hello, i am bored. here are some unpopular opinions that may very well get me cancelled if i posted this on tiktok
do not read if you know youre going to get mad if i say something you disagree with
the over feminisation and over-aggressive characterisations of sirius and remus are so left field it makes my eye twitch. like if you wanna write them like that then fine but don't tell me that one scene of sirius wearing something nice and one scene of remus throwing harry up a wall (while he's in the middle of like a twenty year war with all of his friends dead mind you) means that they were as people are interpreting them in cannon
the fandom isn't misogynistic. you just want everyone to care about the same characters the way you do despite the fact that very little of them (especially the girls really besides lily and the black sisters) have any character/story to care about to begin with
on that same note, it is not wolfstar and jegulus' shippers job to write dorlene and marylily fics. there are over 6000 fics tagged under dorlene and over 2000 for marylily which is really impressive and a really big number for ships containing two people who don't have any connection to one another
we cannot blame every death on dumbledore. dumbledore was manipulative and not a very good person but he wasn't out here deliberately getting all the people on his side killed
this fandom is obsessed with tragedy so much that tragedy has now become repetitive and boring. i love a good sad story but what is the point in taking every single character and making them live the worst life possible. its like yall are only capable in caring for a character if they have literally the worst ending ever
the marauders weren't child soldiers. They were young but they weren't children.
on the same note just because barty, evan and peter (and any other death eater) was young does not excuse them of their actions. I'm 20 and I know that i wouldn't betray all of my friends or help torture new parents into insanity
deciding that pandora somehow had to be a part of a death eater family was the worst thing this fandom did to her character
it pisses me off when the fandom will bend over backwards to try to connect the same 12 characters to every headcannon imaginable when there are so many other characters that you could use
despite this tho i hate the whole "ravenpuff" thing. As someone who actually cares about Emmeline, Edgar, Fabian, Gideon, Amelia, Benjy, Caradoc and all of that it annoys me to no end when the only time people post about them is to shove them all into the two least cared about houses and decides that they were all friends while giving them the most uncreative name out there. if you dont care about them then dont post about them
marlene is the most overrated character in the fandom
james and marlene being childhood best friends is my least favourite headcannon
mary obliviating herself is the worst headcannon
remus lupin is a bottom
sirius black is tall
marlene being in ravenclaw > marlene being in gryffindor
this fandom really needs to remember that barty and evan were villains. if you like them then that's completely fine but stop trying to make them secretly good
i can only ship sirius with remus but i can ship remus with literally anyone (so long as they are actually his age or older. for some reason i cant ship remus with people who are over a year younger then him)
i dont think its fair to say that if you like regulus then you cant shit on snape stans but it is utterly unfair to stan barty and evan but shit on snape stans
fancasting and commenting on normal peoples tiktoks is stupid and embarrassing. we are HATED by other fandoms and is it because we are unable to stay in our lane. stop getting into other peoples buisness by commenting "REMUS LUPIN" under a Spiderman edit
james would not have stopped talking to sirius after the prank. He'd be mad at him and he'd tell him off but he wouldn't stop talking to him. If James had to pick between Sirius and anyone he's picking Sirius
on that note i think the only people who weren't talking to sirius after the prank was remus and lily. mostly because i dont think anyone other then the marauders and lily would even have known that remus was a werewolf at the time
ALSO evan, barty and regulus would not befriend remus after the prank. firstly they wouldnt care and even if they did they would be more likely to abuse the fact that they know about him being a werewolf
im sick of seeing people try to shame others for shipping wolfstar but not marylily because "theyre the same ship." theyre literally not. just because YOU hc mary and lily to have a similar dynamic as remus and sirius doesnt mean that theyre the same and doesnt mean that everyone else should think so to. Same with literally every other ship that gets compared to another based on headcannons
this is getting really long so imma leave it there
#i originally was going to write massive paragraphs explaining my points#but then i realised that no one would read them#so if you want an explination ill give you one if you ask nicely#also please excuse my bad and inconsistent grammer im lazy#the marauders#harry potter#the marauders era#wolfstar#jegulus#james potter#remus lupin#regulus black#sirius black#marlene mckinnon#marylily#dorlene#lily evans#evan rosier#barty crouch jr#rosekiller#pandora lovegood
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