#i do have other wips i could finish but will i

[sungbeams]

WIP DUMP

okay so this is lowkey inspired by @jayparked posting about her wips a bit ago (check them out here she's crazy talented and i can't wait to read them all) and since i've been struggling with writing recently i thought maybe sharing some of my wips could help. also biggest thanks to snail for helping me with the synopses for some of these and listening to me stress over the banners and everything

if you want to talk to me about any of them or wanna get tagged pls don't hesitate to send asks or comment on this post, i'd love to talk about them some more🥺❤️

MIDNIGHT IN MILAN — lhs

⟡ ┆ featuring. heeseung x fem!reader

⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, established relationship, idol AU (both heeseung and yn)

⟡ ┆ warnings. semi-public sex, unprotected sex, mirror sex, mild choking, creampie, fingering, tiniest hint of degradation (he calls her a slut like once), one singular spank, some hair pulling, not really any aftercare

⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 6k

they say love makes you do stupid things...surely fucking your boyfriend in the bathroom at the prada after party when your relationship isn't even public and neither of you can afford a dating scandal isn't that stupid, right?

(i'm well aware the hype around tipsy heeseung has already died down but i started writing this immediately after the pics dropped and then got hit by writers block so i'm dedicated to finish this)

!! more under the cut !!

HE HATES ME, HE HATES ME NOT — psh

⟡ ┆ featuring. sunghoon x fem!reader

⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, enemies to lovers, coworker AU, miscommunication (ikik), lowkey past fuckboi sunghoon

⟡ ┆ warnings. hate sex, semi-public sex (in an archive room?), protected and unprotected sex (there's several smut scenes), choking, spanking, degradation, praise kink, oral (m. and f. receiving), handjob, fingering, manhandling, overstimulation, dacryphilia, spit kink

⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 20k

park sunghoon hates you, and you hate him. it hadn't always been like that, when you first joined the company he works at he was friendly, a real gentleman, but over time of working together he turns cold, sometimes even downright mean, and you cannot for the life of you figure out what caused the sudden change in his behavior. however, things between you change yet again when you 'accidentally' get locked in your offices archive room.

HOME IS WHEREVER YOU ARE — lhs

⟡ ┆ featuring. heeseung x fem!reader

⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, college!au, friends to lovers

⟡ ┆ warnings. there's some talks of depression as well as unhealthy coping mechanism so be aware of that pls, protected sex (be proud of me okay), oral (f. and m. receiving), vanilla af, neither of them are virgins or inexperienced but they just having sex for the first time together after realizing they've been in love with each other for years :')

⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 14k

"distance makes the heart grow fonder." is no longer just a cliche saying. heeseung decided to follow his dreams, but doing so lead him to a different city, leaving you behind. no other friends, no hobbies to keep yourself busy, and no motivation to keep going, the only thing keeping you on some sort of routine is attending your college classes that your parents force you to go to. just when you're about to officially quit and give up, heeseung shows up out of nowhere and manages to pull you out of your slump, upturning your whole friendship in the process.

NATURAL REMEDY — pjs

⟡ ┆ featuring. jay x fem!reader

⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, physical therapist!reader, patient!jay, probably hipaa violations idk just don't do this irl basically

⟡ ┆ warnings. unprotected sex, oral (m. receiving), body worship (jay receiving bc he deserves someone to tell him or handsome he is), handjob, lots of oil, lowkey massage kink idek what to call this??

⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 5k

when jay hurts his knee while goofing around with his friends, his doctor recommends rest and physical therapy. lucky for him, your office is just around the corner, just that neither of you can make good on the ordered rest by doctor.

HEALTHY COMPETITION — lhs + sjy

⟡ ┆ featuring. heeseung x fem!reader x jake

⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, college au, non-idol au, and they were roommates (oh my god they were roommates), no romance just fucking

⟡ ┆ warnings. basically no plot, threesome (duh), protected and unprotected sex, anal, double penetration, spanking, oral (m. and f. receiving), multiple rounds, manhandling, they make it a competition to see who can make her moan the loudest...

⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 9k

your roommates bickering should be nothing but white noise to you at this point, but when they both rope you into their little argument of who fucks better things take an interesting turn and a welcomed distraction from studying is provided.

SNEAKY LINK — sjy

⟡ ┆ featuring. jake x fem!reader

⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, uni AU, frat boy jake (i'm sorry), friends with benefits but no one knows, alcohol consumption (they're not drunk and both consenting !!)

⟡ ┆ warnings. unprotected sex (it's a theme for me atp, don't do this irl pls), dry humping, fingering (it's jake come on now), kinda rushed sex ig, does it count as exhibitionism when they fuck in a spare bedroom idk, oral (f. receiving), breast play

⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 4k

frat parties usually weren't your thing, but when your best friend invites you (with the intention to be her wingwoman) you're not one to let her down. that is until you run into jake, whom you've been fooling around with without anyone knowing ...

© sungbeams — all rights reserved. i do not give permission to copy, repost, modify or translate my works.

[ladykailitha]

The Caged Bird Still Sings Part 17

Sorry to leave you on that cliffhanger. If I hadn't screwed up you would have only had to wait a week instead of two. But tada! The mysterious [REDACTED] from WIP Wednesday.

Steve recovers from his no good horrible bad day with the help of those who love him.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16

~

Steve raised his head and peeked out of the covers. “Eddie? How are you here?”

Eddie was at his side in an instant. “Hey, sweetheart,” he murmured, stroking Steve’s hair. “The tour is over beautiful. It’s coming home day, did you forget?”

“Mr. Munson,” Bob said, moving away from the bed. “We were trying to get him up before you came back. But it was harder then we planned.”

“You did an admirable job,” Eddie assured him. He turned back to Steve. “Robin told me about what happened. I’m sorry, little Canary. I wish I could have protected you from that.”

Steve let out a little whimper.

“What’s your name?” he asked Rosa and when she supplied it, he said, “would you go a draw a bath for Steve? I don’t think he’s up for a shower.”

She hastened to do as he asked.

“Bob, go ring up the kitchen and have them prepare a light meal. Soup, salad, chicken that’s light on the sauce. Anything that wouldn’t hurt an already upset stomach.”

Bob nodded and moved over to the desk phone to do just that. Eddie carefully removed the blankets as they were sticking to Steve’s skin.

He picked him up and carried him to the bathroom where he stripped Steve of his underwear and socks and lowered him into the bath.

“You just stay there, and I’ll be right back to wash your hair, mmk?”

Steve nodded and dumped half the bottle of bubbles into the water causing Eddie to laugh.

Steve laid his head back on the rim of the bathtub with a sigh. He could feel the heat of the water seep into his bones and muscles as he relaxed for the first time since he was forcibly vacated from his job.

Eddie came back in a moment a later and knelt behind Steve’s head. He tipped Steve’s head forward as he poured water over his hair. Steve hissed as the warm water hit his head a shoulders.

“Is it too hot, sweetheart?” Eddie asked gently, stopping his pouring.

“No,” Steve assured him. “I just wasn’t expecting it. It felt good.”

He smiled and began pouring again, once Steve’s hair was completely wet, he added shampoo to his hands and scrubbed it through his hair. He rinsed out the shampoo and washed it again. He continued to do this until all the stickiness had been washed out of the hair. He grabbed the conditioner and ran it gently through Steve’s hair, massaging his scalp.

“You think you can scrub yourself while that sets, beautiful?” he asked, getting to his feet. “I need to go see about your dinner.”

Steve nodded and set to work doing just that. Eddie patted the edge of the tub and walked out, leaving him to finish cleaning himself off. The bubbles almost towered of the top of the water, making the work harder and more fun. He had built a tower of foam by the time the other man came back.

“Someone is having fun,” he huffed and Steve smiled for the first time in days. “Let’s get your hair rinsed and you toweled off. Your friends have gone for now, but they promised to be back after you eat.”

“Okay.”

Once his hair had been rinsed out, he got out of the tub and toweled off, slipping on the yellow frilly robe Eddie had got for him the day he met Robin. He buried his nose into the collar and breathed in the scent of lavender soap that Rosa always used when doing his laundry.

He walked out of the bathroom to find that his bedding had been replaced and the floors cleaned. The carpet was still damp in places where it had been scrubbed.

“Sorry about that,” he muttered going over to sit on the chair.

“It’s all right, little Canary,” Eddie said gently stroking his wet hair. “You shouldn’t have had to go through that. I’m sorry that you had to at all.”

They ate in silence and then Steve’s friends came back in and Eddie slipped out so that Steve could talk to them.

“He’s a good man,” Rosa said firmly. “But I thought he was, eh? Primo?”

Bob grimaced. “That was just something to help keep Steve safe. He’s more...” he waved his hand back in forth, “novio? Ish?”

Steve snorted.

He wasn’t sure there was a term in Spanish for what Eddie was to him. Hell he wasn’t even sure there was one in English. Or at least not a polite one, anyway.

“You let him take care of you,” Rosa huffed, “and I won’t get some many grey hairs, yes?”

Steve burst out laughing. “If you wanted more money to pay your hairdresser, Rosa, you should have asked. I would have been tipping bigger.”

She swatted at him with her towel, but they were both smiling at each other, so Steve considered it a win.

Once they were satisfied he was going to be fine, they left him alone. He let out a shuddering breath and let out all his emotions that he had bottled up since the incident at work. He let out another breath and then another. He was amazed at the end that he wasn’t a sobbing mess.

Steve got up and called Robin.

“Steve!” she admonished. “God, I was starting to get really worried about you. Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

“I’m fine,” he assured her. “I just needed some time to process what happened. It was so messed up. I mean Tommy and I were assholes in school, but we wouldn’t have pulled something like that. That’s insane!”

“Yeah,” Robin said slowly like the word was dragged out of her. “I was thinking about that too. Like, yeah there was some bullying, but the usual shoving people against lockers and giving them wedgies, but this? This feels malicious in a way I have no words for.”

“It feels like something my dad would do.”

That statement hung between them for a moment and Robin’s breath stuttered at the weight of it.

“Shit, Steve,” she whispered. “I–I just never realized how bad things were you with your parents. I guess I pushed how bad it must have been for you under a rug in my head because I didn’t want to face how badly you’ve been treated. I’m sorry.”

Steve let out a long suffering sigh. It had always been the point of contention among all the kids, most of the adults, and yes even Robin, that they just didn’t understand what Steve was going through.

“I’m not sure it’ll make you feel better,” she said softly, “but according to your little nuggets, Hopper downplayed the argument he had with Joyce.”

Steve blinked for a moment as he tried to remember her saying something about that. The way she had first said it made it sound like that they merely had had a conversation and Joyce had agreed to back off.

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” she hedged. “So Will said that they had a really bad fight. Hop was saying that if she hadn’t been such a hard ass on you about the job, you wouldn’t have gotten assaulted twice. Joyce complained, saying that he had just told her who was bankrolling your stay, this would have never happened.”

Steve closed his eyes and flopped on the bed. “Shit.”

“It gets worse,” she said dryly.

“How could it possibly be worse than that?” he asked, suddenly sitting up.

“Hop told her that she would have behaved badly if she knew who had rescued you,” Robin continued. “She didn’t like that. She said that she didn’t care who was taking care of you as long as she had a name.”

Dread pooled in Steve’s stomach and began to twist. “He told her, didn’t he?”

“Yeah,” she said softly, “and as predicted she flipped her shit. Hopper told her the ‘you waiting for Monty to get off work’ line so you could spend the night at his place. But know she thinks he’s your sugar daddy and blew up at Hop for thinking that was appropriate to have around Ellie.”

“She didn’t.”

“She did,” Robin said. “Hopper pointed out that not only had Eddie been on tour for three months he’d been taking care of you, but that marrying someone rich and letting them take care of you wasn’t the sin everyone made it out to be.”

Steve did a fist pump. “Score one for Hopper! That’s incredible.”

“Yeah,” she sighed wistfully. “And then he told her that he would trust you and Eddie before he trust you with anyone else in the whole god damned town!”

“Wait,” Steve said, suddenly frowning, “Will told you all this?”

“Ellie, too,” Robin said warily. “The whole thing was a shit show and right now Hop and Joyce aren’t talking.”

“Thanks for the heads up,” he muttered. “How are the rest of the kids taking it?”

“Like even Mike is on your side,” she huffed with a bitter laugh. “Which is really saying something. But I think the most surprising is that Jonathan is mad at her for the whole thing. Apparently he had been trying to warn her for awhile. He said he suspected it might be someone like Eddie who was helping you out. Which blew everyone else’s mind let me tell you.”

Steve chuckled, twirling the phone cord around his finger. “You’ve got to be careful, it’s always the silent types that surprise you.”

“Yeah, sure,” Robin scoffed. “But anyway, I’m glad you’re feeling better. You up for a BBF day?”

“Not to today,” Steve said with a sigh. “Maybe tomorrow, but I wanted to let you know that I was alive and that you didn’t have start planning a funeral or some shit.”

“Message received loud and clear,” she said cheerfully. “And thanks for the heads up. You have a nice pamper day and call me tomorrow, okay?”

“Roger that!” Steve said, a smile on his face. “Bye!” He hung up and flopped on the bed again. He stared up at the ceiling in awe. He never meant for Hopper and Joyce to blow up at each other like that. He just wanted her back off and now...

“I can hear you catastrophizing from here,” a warm voice said with a chuckle. “It’s not your fault with what happened between Hop and Joyce Byers. She shouldn’t have kept pushing like she did.”

Steve scrambled to wrap the robe around his waist as the belt had come loose during his talk with Robin, showing a lot more than was probably decent for company.

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly coming over to sit in the chair across from the sofa. “I forgot you were coming back in everything that was going on.”

“That’s okay, little Canary,” Eddie said with soft smile. “You needed the comfort of your friends and I’m happy you’re up and doing better. You’ve got color back in your cheeks. You were so pale when I came in.”

Steve blushed adding more color to his cheeks.

“I’ve got a room across the hall from you,” he murmured, “so if you need anything, just come on over. I’ll be in most of the time, but I would like to visit family a little while I’m in town.”

“Oh gosh!” Steve gushed. “Of course. I’m not your keeper, you can come and go how ever you like. I’ll just do what I always do.”

“Which is what exactly?” he asked with a dimpled grin. Steve wanted to bite them. “I’ve been out of touch for awhile.”

“This and that,” he said with a shrug. “I draw some, I go see movies, I’ve been trying all sorts of hobbies and things. My latest is learning how to skateboard. One of the kids I used to babysit is teaching me.”

“That explains all the purchases at the skate shop then,” he said with a wink. He patted the seat next to him. “Come sit by me. I think we have a lot to talk about.”

Steve chewed his lip for a moment and then nodded. He got up and slunk over to the sofa and sat down. He turned to face him and put his elbow on the back cushion, drawing his knee up under him.

“I’ve spoken to Hopper,” Eddie said, “and he agrees with me that you should remain here in this hotel room at least until the whole mall thing blows over. And by that I mean you’re free to go, but you’ll still be living at the hotel in this room, specifically.”

Steve let out a long shuddering breath. “That’s a relief honestly,” he said with sigh. “I like the people here. I feel safe here.”

“I’m glad,” Eddie said with a warm smile. “As for what happens in the future is going to be play by ear. The rest of the band in town visiting their families, too. In fact everyone but me got their own old rooms back.”

“Oops!” Steve said with a grimace. “No takesbackies!”

Eddie laughed, throwing back his head. “Never. I like how you decorated the place so I’m not going to force you to move.”

“Thanks for everything,” Steve murmured, bumping their shoulders together. “With the hotel room and the money and the car, my dad still hasn’t found out where I am. Which apparently is making family dinners very tense.”

“They think the bouncer...” Eddie said snapping his fingers, “what was his name?”

Steve smiled. “Monty.”

“Monty!” he crowed. “That’s it! So they think ole Monty has you stashed away somewhere?”

“Pretty much!”

“Well, I think once people start seeing me around town,” Eddie said seriously, “they might put two and two together. But as I said for the long term this is your home, until we can find you something safer.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, breathing a sigh of relief. “Can I tell people who my mysterious benefactor is now?”

Eddie laughed again. “Yeah, sure, little Canary you can tell whoever you want.”

~

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @beelze-the-bubkiss @blondie1006

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @cryptid-system @maya-custodios-dionach

3- @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child

4- @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1

5- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

6- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

7- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @w1ll0wtr33 @sticknpokelightningbolt @just-a-tiny-void

8- @scoops-aboy86 @kurofuckingshi16 @watermelonmite @eyehartart @dreamercec

9- @little-birch-boy @yearningagain @micheledawn1975 @sadisticaltarts @steddieislife

10- @fearieshadow @kultiras @thesecondfate @tartarusknight @genderless-spoon

[agrlsname]

Thank you @therealsaintscully for the tag! I'm soon about to post what might be my very last fic, so it's quite fitting to look back on my journey now.

How many works do you have on ao3?

38 – all Johnlock, except for one GO fic. On New Year's Eve I will post number 39!

What’s your total word count?

371,360 (will soon top it off with another 221 words ;))

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

What Friends Do (by FAR), Who I Really Am (personal fave), The General Idea, Coldness/Heat, Tomorrow's Song

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

At first I responded to every single one! And I still try to respond to every single person. But now, I sometimes only respond to the last one if it's a reader who's commented on every chapter and I get all the comments at once. I like staying connected to the readers, that's one of the most fun parts about fandom!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

It has to be This Is Your Song. I mean, there's another one within a series that end in an angsty cliffhanger, but MCD surely has to take the prize?

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Oh my, nearly all of them have happy endings – so what would count as happier than happy..? Maybe it's actually the one that isn't posted yet – stay tuned for the resolution of the New Year's Kiss series!

Do you write crossovers?

Nope. I've written a fusion though (Johnlock and Moulin Rouge!).

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yup. Some people get really angry at John in What Friends Do and they take it out on me. It's interesting because many MANY others adore the story with all their hearts! I even wrote a sequel from John's POV just to try to get people to understand, but the haters didn't understand anyway.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Even though at the beginning I said I'd never, half of my works are now rated E or M. What kind? Um, is "emotional, gay sex" a genre?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Many of them, into five different languages! Coolest thing ever.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I think I'm too pedantic for that. I've loved working with my beta on some poem translations, though, that The Sky is Full of Fiddles is based on.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

38 fics – you all know it's Johnlock, right? There are others that I love, but nothing can ever compare.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I don't have WIPs! I'm too much of a control freak and perfectionist when it comes to writing – I want to be able to change the beginning when I'm writing the ending. I don't even have unpublished WIPs – I hate the idea of leaving works unfinished. If I was still in those first years of writing frenzy, when I was single and didn't have a child, I'd have expanded on This Time – but as it is, I knew that I wouldn't have the time to do it justice. So I purposely ended on a cliffhanger that would still allow it to stand on its own the way it is.

What are your writing strengths?

Emotions, according to my beta! If you ask me, I'd say describing things – often emotions, I suppose – in new, poetic ways that play on different senses and therefore make them immediate. It's something I love reading myself, anyway, so it's something I've been practicing for... well, decades now. I'd like to think I've gotten at least somewhat good at it.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm weirdly bad at coming up with the small details that aren't important, but needed. A recent example is I needed a character to text another with an invented problem to try to get him to come over. It wasn't at all important what the problem was, but it also couldn't be just anything; it had to be in line with his character. I could not for the life of me come up with this problem myself – eventually my husband did it for me. So those kinds of details in my stories are rarely from my own brain!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Hmm, well, I've tried not to do that. As a reader I find it annoying to have to look things up, or scroll down to the notes. I have three fics in which characters aren't English; in This Is Your Song I added a couple of "Bonjour"s for flavour, which is about as far as my own French knowledge reaches... In the Fiddles series they're Swedes and speak my mother tongue, but I've written everything in English except for the words that English doesn't have (like for example "polska", a kind of dance), and at the very end, some song lyrics that are then translated into English in the end notes that come immediately after. I did want to add that song for flavour, but I didn't want it to be annoying.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Johnlock! I started in the aftermath of season 4 back in January 2017 and then couldn't stop.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I'm wondering whether I will come back to fic writing at a later point, but for another fandom. I've long wanted to write more for GO, although I already have written one fic. It would probably be a lot of fun to write for OFMD too. Doctor Who maybe? I don't know, it intimidates me to write for a new fandom where I don't yet know the characters as well as I know Sherlock and John.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This question is too cruel! There are so many of them that I love. Maybe I have to say The Sky is Full of Fiddles, after all – it holds such a special place in my heart for many reasons that go beyond the story itself (although that's true for several fics). Other faves are Your Daughter, The Zebra Sheets and of course Who I Really Am, which I'm liking enough to turn it into a novel I'm now trying to get published. See, I couldn't pick one!!

I'm on Tumblr way too sporadically to have any idea of who's already done this and who hasn't, so I don't dare tag anyone... Feel free to take it and tag me if you feel like it!

[ifyougoillfollow]

tfw you finish a zine fic way before the deadline so now you have to wait months and months before you can inflict said fic on your readers (:

[purgaytorysupremacy]

oh nuts. a life experience has given me a new layer of perspective on Cas's homosexual declaration of love to Dean.

recently I had occasion to tell a person I had feelings for them knowing full well they didn't feel even a twinge of the same thing for me. while the whole thing was a decidedly unpleasant experience, I kept laughing at myself internally bc I didn't want to say "the happiness is just in saying it" like fucking Castiel over here. (we don't need to talk about it, it's fine.) (I am happier having said it and it's kind of bullshit, but I digress.)

because the thing is, the happiness isn't in just saying it, right? the happiness is in the having. I made a whole TikTok "proving" that the Empty didn't come for Cas when he confessed his love, but rather when he realized Dean loved him back. even for Cas, the happiness was in the having, not in the saying, however brief it was.

and I've always been one of those people who rolled their eyes at the whole concept. why would the happiness be in just being, in just saying it, if it's right there in front of you to have. and then it hit me like a tonne of bricks (as I was washing my kitchen counters).

Cas really didn't think he could have Dean.

at all. in any capacity. he really, truly, and honestly felt to the depths of himself that Dean did not have any twinge of similar feelings, that this really was a Hail Mary shot-in-the-dark. and I think me, personally, really didn't understand that about Cas. that his belief in his love being unrequited was that unshakable.

something else I've been pondering is how audiences have so much more empathy for fictional characters who share traits that IRL they find objectionable and unappealing. but the thing is about fictional characters is that we follow them around in their most private, vulnerable moments. we see Dean mourning Cas when he dies, literally killing himself because he can't live without him, but it's so easy to forget that we're the omniscient ones here.

Cas never knew.

Dean's whole thing was pushing him away, keeping him at arm's length, making it seem like whatever heroic thing he does for Cas he'd do for anyone. he downplays how important it is for Dean to share the Deancave with him, to show him his favourite movies, share his favourite songs. he acts like the things Cas does for him don't mean that much to hide how much they do mean. he uses "we" whenever he even gets in the vicinity of expressing a feeling. "We were worried." "We're glad you're back." "We needed a win." "You're our brother." The audience knew the difference. We saw how he'd clench his jaw or swallow hard or make a face that said "God, I'm being such an idiot". Because we saw him in those little moments. We got to see the cracks in the mask.

but Cas never knew.

the self-hating angel of Thursday was never going to think it was all a way for Dean to protect himself. obviously, that's the delicious tragedy of it all, but what I think I realized at the end of all that is Cas confessing his love to a Dean who didn't love him back wouldn't have worked. Because the happiness really is in the having. If happiness was just in saying it, then The Empty would have come before Cas even finished getting the words out of his mouth.

so Cas's plan wouldn't have worked if Dean didn't love him back.

this is just me yapping on about my own nonsense, but I do think it's really interesting. there's contentment in "just saying it". there's freedom and relief and an unburdening. I think one can argue that it makes being happy in the being easier. there is certainly some joy in telling a person you think that highly of them. but true happiness?

nah.

true happiness is always going to only be in the having. Cas didn't understand the difference until he experienced it, and by then, it was too late.

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 251

so like remember when i said i was gonna be mentally ill about utena

[ygodmyy20]

I could draw them forever and I'll never get bored.

[lambentumbra]

height chart for my main ocs ‒ i still need to draw their actual clothes, but i think this is worth sharing at this point

left to right: olivandre (oli) (they/them) cameron (they/any) jules (he/him)

[dailyedgeworth]

today, a work in progress? bc i think it looks funny but also bc my drawing arm is starting to hurt and uh. i never stretch?

[xxplastic-cubexx]

since Rivals!Erik is such a beefcake, he would be bursting out the seams of the fc outfit. It’ll just be strips of fabric covering his more private areas 😭

😶

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

trying to psych myself up to finally do oc refs by doing fandom-related refs instead: volume 1

wanted to update my yuma from whatever tf this au is so he was a bit more unique... takes inspo from a lot of different things while also trying to be its own sorta thing? which is fitting given the au ;)

bonus chibi now that i'm also figuring out how tf to do chibis lol:

[raiiny-bay]

today's progress: i think i'm done with the face

[wawamouse]

spent a bunch of time trying to figure out the Oz Macbeth rehearsal timelines (what with people coming and going) before i decided i don't care lol. what i did learn is that the character who plays Lady Macbeth is apparently named Stein.

Now here is a picture of Miguel reading his script:

[moe-broey]

I. Did not achieve a lot today (understandable considering the circumstances), but. You need to See.

The SADDEST. SOGGIEST. Sharena I have EVER drawn.

Also maybe a little snippet as a treat...

You'll have to fight my messy roughs and handwriting for it though 😤😤😤

[nostalgia-tblr]

What do English people call a close? You know, the stairwell bit where all the flats are in a tenement? If you go to visit someone at their flat, what do you call the bit where you wait for them to answer their door? That communal stairs… area?

("Modern AUs don't require research" MAYBE IF YOU'RE ENGLISH THEY DON'T 😭)

[forcedhesitation]

*wheeze* slowly, but surely, working on art of them all