#i do feel seen now

[bredforloyalty]

hi, i just wanted to say that i adore your rickorty playlist!! i love your vision for them and so many of the songs fit their relationship really well. do you happen to have a morty playlist as well? i think only saw one for rick

AHH thank you omg i'm glad you like it <3 it's one of my favorites and. it's long but i mean all of it so i really appreciate your ask(/this compliment if it can be called that) !!!

and YES! yes why as a matter of fact i do have a morty playlist that isn't public 🥴

i would still listen to it sometimes, mostly when i was doing bad ngl like that was kind of its purpose, like that image of aoba dramaticalmurder (thatse his last name.) with headphones on the bed. so there's something personal about it but then again one of my reasons for loving him is that i see myself in him so there's that angle. to be honest i didn't feel this one was up to "standards" hxsfcy because 1/3 of it is the other playlist and there's a little too much oliver tree when i'm not even a fan (i still made the association with those songs) and sonically i wasn't sure it was coherent But!! listen at your leisure, now that i look at it i do like it :')

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[idontmindifuforgetme]

I love Tumblr because nothing matters here truly. There are no influencers. Having followers doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a site where people post their sporadic thoughts and rb pretty pictures. Anyone who thinks any of this matters is woefully missing the point

[brainrotcharacters]

Mothers and fuckers of the ketchup and mustard household (I'm going even more insane than usual)

[obibail]

- Thought you could use a hand! - You're late! - Didn't want to arrive without a gift.

[shweshishweh]

I’ve had these concepts in my drafts for almost a year 💀

[humming-fly]

Wonder what it's like to feel grass under your feet for the first time in your life. Wonder how it feels knowing you'll be the one to destroy it.

[a-memory-a-distant-echo]

ok, once and for all: is it rude to add things to people's posts? no nuance; none of us can know how op or anyone else will see our contribution. or 'contribution'.

[lucabyte]

Different standards

[tapeworrmart]

Red Dead Revenge (low honor Arthur)

[tatck]

Issue 2 Vagabond Comic Part 4/?

Style change! And I am giving the middle finger to backgrounds.

Ko-Fi - ISSUE 1 START - PREVIOUS - ALL CHAPTERS - NEXT

[uncanny-tranny]

Not a day goes by where I do not think about the advent of medicine like PrEP and wonder just what the people - especially queer people - who passed from HIV/AIDs during the AIDs crisis would think

And then, I read this survivor's testimony and it just makes me emotional. I think this is the closest answer we have. HIV has changed, and we must always remember the people who didn't see that change before it happened.

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

ok everybody block dnp on all socials they have eyes everywhere. they know way too much. those omniscient fuckers are always watching. no one is safe.

like what do you MEAN you know about those stupid “real voice” compilations and people absolutely clowning about jumpcuts and smudged whiskers and what do you MEAN you’re aware of those 2009 phan theories people still debate to this day? what happened to “i don’t check my indirects” “i don’t go on the tags”?? i bet you’re lurking RIGHT NOW reading this very post. all men do is lie. can’t trust anyone 😤😪

[closetnerd62]

while yes jason schmidt’s soda taking off his shirt is enjoyable in and of itself i also wanna talk about how good of a character choice it is.

his soda doesn’t even hesitate to dirty the shirt off of his back, possibly the cleanest one he owns, to cleanup his little brother’s face and wounds after he’s been attacked. he doesn’t mind because he puts pony first.

[friendlyneighbourhoodelf]

au in which obi-wan drops his lightsaber when he is shot down during order 66 and, in-line with canon occurrences, cody catches the lightsaber. this (through some kind of force stuff) deactivates his chip. unfortunately, obi-wan doesn’t realise and they escape separately. cody joins the rebellion, and the lightsaber remains a closely guarded secret and a symbol of his guilt/the past. it remains like this until obi-wan is called upon to rescue leia and, for the first time in years, actually wants use of his lightsaber. the lightsaber (again, through some kind of force stuff, perhaps obi-wan’s gradual reconnecting with the force) realises this and attempts to guide cody to obi-wan. cody is however firmly convinced obi-wan is dead, and also very busy with rebellion stuff, so does not realise what is happening. eventually, their paths collide (their stubbornness is strong but the force and obi-wan’s lightsaber are stronger) and they reunite, now with shared custody of a lightsaber.

[walugus-grudenburg]

AT THE END OF THE GAME YOU CAN TAKE LOOP'S COIN AND JUST FUCKING. LEAVE??? EVIL. EVIL EVIL SIFFRIN.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

UH-HUH. NOTHING ELSE. NOTHING ELSE. NOBODY ELSE YOU'RE FORGETTING?? DEFINITELY.

YEAH. THAT'S THE HIGHEST PRIORITY. NOBODY ELSE IS IMPORTANT!