#i do feel bad that basically no pictures of me exist but also. i look so stupid in every picture and i hate them all

[changeling-droneco]

#i fully used the jkr stuff to hopefully get some allos to actually pay attention and I am not ashamed#i would do it again in heartbeat

Honestly it's nothing to be ashamed if even one person saw that going down and decided to look deeper into aspec stuff or at least put forward a bit more of an effort to support it, totally worth it. Talking about some of my own experiences under the cut, it's a bit heavy with serious themes therefor, cut.

I got pretty lucky back then due to being a rather smaller blog at the time who mostly just reblogged other people back then so I dodged anything specifically targeting me but it really did feel like every other day someone I followed would reblog just something super aphobic out of the blue and I'd have to block them. I changed my icon to the ace colors back then as a part of being prideful of my identity yes, but also as a show of "you can't make us go away" I genuinely thought over whether it was worth the potential attention and hate from other queer people.

I remember finding cool lesbian blogs or whatever and having to check their faq or info or just search asexual and nine times out of ten be met with some cheeky aphobic response about how we weren't real or that our acceptance was heavily conditional like "ace" or "aro" was just an unimportant additive to our REAL label. I remember the gore and the sheer amount of sexual violence. I remember being TERRIFIED in june because it all got SO MUCH WORSE and more violent during pride an instinct that took me YEARS to get over.

I was there for the Thomas Sanders stuff and the tldr is someone sent an ask going all "hey what do you think of ace people" and thomas sanders the gay tiktok star was like "yeah ace people exist I support them" and then he IMMEDIATELY got accused of being a groomer pedophile and people dug for MILES to find anything even SLIGHTLY incriminating, he took a selfie that featured his butt? pedophile.

He was "cancelled" basically overnight the moment he said that with everyone complaining about how he was being homophobic by just acknowledging we exist. Like, right before that he was SUPER popular and hyped up but the moment ace people popped up? nope, he's a gay class traitor now. Genuinely despicable, no one ever apologized for THAT either.

It's still kinda hard to talk about this stuff, I was one of the luckier ones who dug my heels in but was also small enough to go under the radar, we lost a lot back then.

We were begging people to understand that to the rest of the world we were also seen as something wrong, something incorrect, something that needed to be fixed through pills and conversion therapy or sexual violence, and all we got was victim blaming and telling us that the language we used wasn't made for us and it was actually lesbophobic of us to use that language of corrective rape actually!

Oh also also any teenager who associates with Asexual has clearly being groomed by the Asexual Agenda tm because asexuality is purely about just SEX obviously and thats GROSS because obviously talking about kids and teens about sex in literally any capacity is bad. so we're cancelling sesame street for having an ace flag in their pride video because it's pedophilia did you know sesame street promoted pedophilia?

Plus that teen girl who got MURDERED in part for being asexual? not only are we going to spam the tags with her murder picture, we're going to gaslight everyone about how it was JUST about misogyny the asexual stuff had nooothing to do with it. It wasn't like we were constantly getting threats of assault and death. I remember you Bianca, and I'm so fucking sorry your memory was used to hurt your own community.

We're still here though with our black and white rings, and we'll always be here, but I know this shit comes in cycles, I'm just waiting for us to end up on the chopping block again.

I guess you could call tumblr's support for us very.....all or nothing

Honestly, I am pretty frustrated by the "haha why would anyone hate ace people" responses to Rowling's tweet.

Don't get me wrong, the support is nice. But if you want to be an ally, you have to do so on our terms, not yours. And that means actually engaging with the aspec community, not just posting positivity every now and again. And what those responses highlight to me is what I've known for a while; you guys only support aspec people when it's easy and convenient.

It's easy to support aspec people when it's J.K. Rowling being awful again. It's easy to support us when it's just reblogging an "aspec people are queer" post.

But what about when we are talking about amatonormativity and the relationship hierarchy? When we are discussing the enforcement of compulsory sexuality? When we are pushing for greater awareness and support for aspec identities that are not asexuality or aromanticism? When we are criticizing terminology that you use but harms us? Because I can tell you right now, I rarely see allo people engage with those posts.

Why do people hate asexuality (or any other aspec identity)? Because it challenges the societal norms that benefit them. And that is uncomfortable and scary. So they turn to hate and oppression in order to assure that the changes we push by just openly existing never happen.

That means that to be a good aspec ally, you can't just make a positivity post every now and again, and you can't just laugh about how stupid aphobes are. You have to openly challenge the societal norms that harm us, even if they benefit you. Including but not limited to:

The idea that romantic and sexual attraction is the default state of being (amatonormativity)

The idea that a romantic, sexual relationship completes a person

People in marriages receiving special privileges and benefits

The idea that platonic, familial, etc. attraction are default states of being

The idea that not feeling some form of attraction must be compensated for through another form of attraction

The idea that love (not just romantic) is inherently morally good, while not feeling love is inherently a moral failing

The idea that any one form of relationship is inherently more important or deeper than any other (relationship hierarchy)

The idea that any one thing makes someone human

The idea that not having sex is shameful or infantile

The idea that having sex without romantic love is callous

Gendered divides of sexual and romantic attraction

Other aspec people please feel free to add on/challenge any of this. Allo (not aspec) people please feel free to ask questions.

I've placed some resources for learning more about these topics under the cut.

Amatonormativity:

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5 - also in the Loveless section] [6 - also in the Compulsory Sexuality section]

Marriage Benefits:

[1]

Other Aspec Identities:

[Aplatonicism] [Afamilialism]

Loveless:

[1] [2 - also in the Amatonormativity section] [3] [4] [5]

Compulsory Sexuality:

[1 - also in the Amatonormativity section] [2]

Relationship Hierarchy vs Relationship Anarchy:

[1] [2] [3]

Oppression:

[1] [2] [3]

Miscellaneous:

[1] [2]

Books and Video Essays:

An Ace Discourse Retrospective by Jenny Geist

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown

[raelemond]

Hi. I was wondering if you could point me to resources or forums that’ll help me explore kink. I’ve been holding myself back for a long time and now I don’t even know where to start or how to find community

hi anon, sorry it took so long for me to respond, I've been traveling!

there are a few things you can do. I'll start with what i did, but this is going to vary by country and location. I recommend you start by making a fetlife profile. fetlife is basically kinky facebook, but you don't have to put any information you don't want to on it - I'd just recommend not using a picture of your genitals as your profile picture, those tend to get autobanned from groups.

then, go look for "events" and filter by location - try nearby cities if your area doesn't turn up at first. what you really want is a "munch", which is going to be a group meeting in a public space for kinky people to mingle. you can also filter by education, but I recommend munches first, just to meet people so you can get an idea of what the community is like.

depending on your city, munches can differ by age (35 and under is typically called TNG/The Next Generation - I personally dislike what they stand for, but it's an option depending on your age), interests, gender/sexuality, and location. some are free, some ask you to purchase food from the venue, some ask for donations, and some cost money. the majority take place at bars, which can be an obstacle.

as someone new coming in, particularly if you're young and/or seem to be a woman at first glance, you might get a lot of attention. I'll just suggest that you do NOT play alone with anyone immediately, and people trying to encourage you to stay isolated from the community is a bad sign. anyone trying to say their way is the One True Way is a bad sign.

I played with someone at my first party, which I had been invited to via the munch. At the party, there were DMs who could help if anything went bad.

if searching like this doesn't get you results, I'd suggest going to a local sex toy store, or other adult store, and ask about local kink communities, if any exist. unfortunately my kinky student from Brazil stopped coming in, or I'd ask how to find a community there because she said it's much harder to find people.

I'd also think about what you're interested in and what your limits are. when I first showed up at 18, I freaked people out by saying "I'm up for anything" - in my head, that meant I was interested in discussing most things, or dipping a toe in, but I didn't know how deep kink could go. The boundaries of "anything" were spanking, flogging, and caning for me, along with D/s stuff I barely understood. so, to avoid my mistake, I definitely recommend having some specific things you want to try and ask questions about.

before the lacigreen weirdness happened, she was a really competent sex educator (if not the best for medical advice) so I'm going to point you to this video for a really brief overview. the only thing she gets wrong is that she misses one of the words in BDSM - it's an acronym that stands for six words: bondage, discipline, Dominance/submission, sadism, masochism.

the words kink and bdsm are often used interchangeably, and they mostly are, but you can be into kink without being into D/s, for example.

please feel free to send more specific questions if you want!

[cappurrccino]

really bold of gradimages to send me an email like "hey, we're having a sale! do you want to order some pictures from your graduation??" when their photographers took literally the worst pictures i have ever seen and left me with the literal only picture of my master's graduation being a picture my dad took of his computer screen while watching the livestream and that is still like 500x better than the "professional" pictures

[mononijikayu]

love means everything — ryomen sukuna.

“So, hey.” he said, voice dropping into that mellow drawl he only really used with you. “You always ask me what I’m doing in the off–season. You know, working out less, spoiling you more, trying to figure out the difference between a flat white and a cortado…” You laughed softly on the other end, and he smiled just hearing it. “But I never asked you. What about you, huh? What does your off-season look like, Starstuff–sensei?” You let out a breath, half a sigh, half a smile. “Off–season? You mean the mythical time when I’m not being held hostage by quantum models and satellite firmware?” He chuckled. “Yeah. That one. If it ever existed.”

Genre: Alternate Universe — Volleyball! AU;

Warning/s: General Rating, AFAB! Reader, Use of She/Her, Use of Female Centered Identification, Pet Names (Babe, My Love, Baby, Etc), Romance, Fluff, Humour, Love, Comfort/No Hurt, Established Relationship, Lovers, Dating, Feeling, Light-Hearted, Slice of Life, Idiots In Love, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Teasing, Healthy Relationship, Friendships, Profanity, Volleyball Pro! Sukuna, Astrophysicist! Reader, Fiancee! Sukuna, Fiancee! Reader;

Words: 8k words.

Note: this was inspired by some clips ive seen from people talking about their spouses. and then you have me listening to coffee by bts??? yeah, it works out. anyway, i got home (after a disasterous time in the airport) and am able to write again!!! i hope you enjoy this one!!! i love you all <3

masterlist

if you want to, tip! <3

lovesick playlist

OFF SEASON WAS ALSO A TIME TO WORK ON OTHER THINGS REGARDING HIS EVER GROWING FAME. That’s why he was told to come here, since people wanted to ask to interview him and want to know more about him, especially now since he just won a gold medal with his team in the Olympics. 

The studio was sun drenched, sleek and minimalist, dotted with tasteful awards and blown up stills from the magazine’s latest photoshoot. Ryomen Sukuna, Olympic gold medalist and captain of Japan’s national volleyball team, was dressed in a relaxed open-collar shirt and slacks. 

He was more toned down from the striking editorial wear he'd posed in just an hour ago, which he liked better than anything else. It’s not that the editorial wear was bad. He was just more comfortable with this sort of fit. He should take a picture, though. You’d enjoy it more than he does. 

Though the cameras continued to roll silently from then and now as he went and sat there, waiting for the interview to begin. The interviewer, who was smiling behind the camera, flipped to a page in their notes.

“Alright, Sukuna–san.” The interviewer began, voice gentle and curious. “You’ve spoken about your post season training, your comeback for this upcoming national season, and your Olympic gold medal win on the international stage. But tell us a little about your off–season. What do you do when you’re not spiking balls into orbit?”

Sukuna chuckled, a lowly amused sound, one hand dragging lazily through his pink-tinted hair. “Honestly? Not much... At least, nothing glamorous. I like to be at home. I’m a homebody, more than people think. Just love being at home with my fiance and our dog Marin.”

“And what does home look like for you now? You recently got engaged, right?”

He smiled, really smiled this time and the camera caught the softening in his expression. “Yeah. I did. She’s a really smart astrophysicist.” he said, pride lacing his voice. “Which basically means her brain runs at the speed of light even when I’m still trying to find where I put my protein shaker in the morning.”

“She must be something then! But you must spend a lot with her during the off–season.” The interviewer laughed, prompting Sukuna to go on. 

“I mean, we both try to make sure we have time.” Sukuna retorts, smiling wider. “But of course, she also has work. I mean, off–season’s really when she gets busier. Her field doesn’t break, and they’ve got a pretty vital role where they work. So while I’m off the court, I’ve kind of made it my job to take care of everything at home. Make her comfortable when she gets home, y’know?”

“Oh? In what ways does an Olympic champion do that?”

“I got my barista license this past season. I just figured if I can read plays mid-air, I can learn how to make coffee right.”

The crew echoed quietly in awe behind the scenes. Ryomen Sukuna leaned forward a little, face warming at his revelation to all of them. The interviewer raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued by Sukuna’s revelation. 

“A barista license, huh? That’s impressive! But I’ve got to ask, Sukuna–san. What else do you do to take care of her when she’s so busy?”

Sukuna chuckled, leaning back slightly in his chair, his demeanor relaxed but there was an underlying warmth in his eyes that couldn’t be overlooked. He was surely thinking about you right now with all he could.

“Well, like I said, she’s got this crazy demanding job.” Sukuna starts to say. “I know how it feels to be locked into something you love, where you don’t even notice the hours passing. So when she gets home, I try to make it feel like a break. I keep the house cozy, cook meals, set things up so she can just unwind without having to think about anything else.”

The interviewer nodded, clearly impressed by his thoughtfulness. “That sounds so sweet. You really seem to know what she needs.”

Sukuna smiled wider, a rare, genuine expression that softened his usual fierce persona. “I do. I pay attention. She doesn’t ask for much. Just a quiet space, a hot meal, and good coffee.” He grinned mischievously. “Oh, and sometimes I throw in a bit of flirting to remind her I’m still the same guy who makes her laugh.”

The interviewer chuckled, but there was a twinkle of curiosity. “So, back to this coffee thing. Is it just a way to spoil her, or do you have a deeper connection to it?”

“Honestly?” Sukuna leaned in a little, his voice dropping a touch lower. “It’s a way for me to make sure she’s taking care of herself. The first time I made her coffee when we were teenagers, I realized how much she needed it.”

“Oh, wow! It’s been that long?”

“Yeah, we’ve been together for so long. And at that time, I realized that she didn’t just need it.” He continues to say, a smile on his face. “It’s not just about the caffeine for her or for me. It’s this small moment of peace in her day. And I don’t want her to go without that, even if it’s just for a few minutes. So I got serious about learning how to make it perfect.”

“That’s actually such dedication, Sukuna–san!” The interviewer reiterated back in awe of him. “Some courses take quite a long time and by your words, it must have taken some time. You did it during the off season? Shouldn’t you be taking care of your health then, since you have to be training soon after that?”

He nodded. “Yeah. But that wasn’t anything too big of a big deal. There was a training course a few blocks away from home. I did it after my run and my training sessions. It wasn’t too bad. Just a few weeks.”

The interviewer’s eyes widened, clearly taken by how deeply Sukuna had thought about this. “That’s really thoughtful.”

“So now, every morning, no matter how early, I make breakfast. And coffee.” Sukuna laughs. "I don’t let my baby go without it. Even if it’s 4 a.m. and she’s still running numbers or checking satellite data or whatever astrophysicists do.” 

He grinned again, eyes glinting with something boyish. “She’ll say she doesn't need it, but she’ll always finish the whole cup. Then she’ll ask for more. I know how she likes it. No measurements anymore. I just know it by memory.”

“That’s a bold statement to make, Sukuna–san. It’s hard to cook by memory most of the time, without measurements.” The interviewer teased. 

There was a pause, the room a little quieter as his words settled. Sukuna shrugged, a playful glint in his eye. “It was a challenge, but I liked it. She does so much for me and the world. I really should pull my weight as a man, you know?”

“I bet she loves that. To have someone to rely on like that, with such a busy lifestyle.”

“She does! Even if she pouts, and never admits it. I can see it in her face.” He lets out a hearty laugh. “It’s the best part of my day, everyday. Where I can just love her right with the ways that I can do it. She’s always worth it.”

The interviewer gave a dreamy sigh, clearly smitten with the answer. “That’s… kind of perfect. Wish all men were like that.”

“I wish the same for all women out there, wait, cut that. Everyone deserves to be loved like that.” Sukuna says, scarlet eyes narrowing slightly serious. “If your partners refuse to love you like that, leave them! They’re not worth your love!”

“Yeah, I agree with that!”

Sukuna shrugged, but there was no hiding the fond curve at the corner of his mouth. “I don’t play about my girl, you know? I just love her so much.” he said simply. “Even in the off-season, love shouldn’t stop for my baby.”

The camera zoomed in a little towards the man with eyes full of love. The camera in this moment was capturing the gold medalist not as the usual overconfident towering champion.

Instead, he was a man quietly in love, tending to his morning ritual and waiting for his favorite person to take their first sip. The interviewer leaned in, clearly enchanted by the quiet domesticity wrapped around the Olympic athlete’s words.

“Aside from becoming a full-fledged barista for your fiancé.” they said with a light chuckle. “What else do you like to do during your off-season?”

Ryomen Sukuna tilted his head for a moment, as if considering the question seriously, then answered with that casual confidence of his. “There’s quite a bit, actually. I mean, I play around with games and stuff like that. But I think that’s boring compared to what I do with my fiancé.”

“Your world revolves around your fiancé, no?”

“Happily so! We’ve been together since we were kids. I always do everything to make her smile. Like, I try to make date nights happen. Or, well, date moments.” he said, lifting two fingers in air quotes. “As I said, her schedule’s kind of brutal. Astrophysics isn’t exactly a nine-to-five thing.” 

The interviewer nodded, intrigued. “There are weeks where the only time she’s home is for like what?—an hour around lunch, since her office is near our home too. So I started planning what I call ‘thirty-minute date lunches.’”

A soft chorus of awws rippled through the crew. Sukuna grinned, rubbing the back of his neck. He talks about it as much as he doesn't. Yet when it comes to you, everything is love. Your love is everything, his love is everything. Showing it to you was no problem to him.

“I’ll cook something quick but good. Set the balcony table. Nothing fancy, just… nice. I’ll make her laugh, get her to forget orbital calculations or whatever hell equations she’s still wrangling about. We’ll eat, talk, and they’ll be gone again. But I think those little pockets of time matter.”

There was a pause. At least just enough to let that picture settle. “And on the rare days they do get time off?” he continued, voice a little quieter now. “I'll go all in. Reservations, walks, bookstores, rooftop stargazing. Whatever makes my baby smile.”

“That probably eases her feelings a lot, helps ground her back to earth.”  The interviewer points out. “With such a demanding job, its meaningful to do something like this.”

Sukuna grins as he nods. “Yeah, it means a lot. But sometimes, space works too. She loves that stuff. Sometimes I’ll rent out this tiny planetarium near the research institute if it’s really been a rough week. Just for us. She’ll get to look up and talk about stars without worrying about the math behind it.”

The room fell silent, even the assistant with the clipboard frozen mid-scribble. The interviewer blinked, mouth parted like they’d briefly forgotten how to speak. “That’s… that’s unbelievably romantic.”

Sukuna smirked, unapologetically smug. “I told you. I’m off–season. I’ve got time to love my baby right.”

A crew member actually clutched their chest. The interviewer gave a sheepish, breathless laugh. “You’re setting the bar high, Sukuna–san.”

He leaned back in his chair with a shrug that somehow managed to be both cocky and affectionate. “Well, what can I say? I might be captain on court but she’s the gravity I orbit.”

The interview was still rolling, the room thick with soft lights and focused silence, when Ryomen Sukuna’s phone vibrated on the table just beside him.

He glanced at it briefly, just a flick of his scarlet eyes but the moment he saw your name on the screen, his whole posture changed. He smiled, subtle and immediate, the kind of smile that didn’t need to be big to be completely disarming.

“Ah—sorry, one sec.” he said, raising a hand toward the crew, already reaching for the phone. “It’s [name], my baby. It’s her only break window today.”

The interviewer blinked, then gave a quick nod. “Of course, yeah—go ahead.”

Ryomen Sukuna didn’t wait for the official pause. He stood up from the interview chair, walking a few steps away with the phone to his ear, voice already softening as he answered. He smiles as your breath echoes through the phone.

“My love, hi!”

“Hey, babe.” he murmured, leaning against a nearby counter. “You good? Just got a ten-minute break?”

Your voice continued to crack through the line, laced with fatigue and static from the lab but still bright enough to make his expression soften even more. He could see it fully in his head as he waits for you to reply.

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry about me.” you said, sighing through what sounded like the background hum of machines. “We’re calibrating the prototype’s rotation module again. I’ve been staring at solar panels and trajectory mapping for six hours. I needed to hear your voice.”

Sukuna chuckled, low and warm, and ran a hand through his hair. “You're insane, you know that? Designing satellites while half running mission control on caffeine and half a protein bar.”

“You made me that protein bar, so whose fault is it, really?” you teased.

He laughed, eyes flicking up briefly at the camera crew still waiting politely across the room. “Hey, babe.” he said, gently, “I’m mid-interview, but I told them to wait. You’re more important. I’m all yours for the next ten minutes.”

You exhaled softly on the line. “You really didn’t have to—”

“Yes I did.” he cut in, voice firm but fond. “You never stop working. I’ll always make time when you finally stop.”

There was a beat of silence between you. There was nothing awkward, just weighted with how much the two of you knew without saying it. You know that he was not going to care, no matter what you say. You were going to be his priority, no matter what he’s doing. 

“So, babe.” he continued, grinning now. “You want the espresso rundown for today? I’ve got a new blend waiting for you when you get home. The new coffee beans just arrived!”

“You spoil me so much.” you whispered.

“You build satellites without rest. Let me have this.”

From across the room, the crew watched quietly. The interviewer, still seated, whispered to someone off-camera, “He’s totally gone for her..”

Sukuna didn’t even seem to notice. He was still leaning against the wall, smiling as he nodded at your words and replied back to him. He happily replies to you once again.

The crew was quietly resetting for the next segment when Ryomen Sukuna walked and leaned further against the counter, still on the phone with you. One hand tucked into his pocket, the other holding the phone a little tighter now, like it grounded him.

“So, hey.” he said, voice dropping into that mellow drawl he only really used with you. “You always ask me what I’m doing in the off–season. You know, working out less, spoiling you more, trying to figure out the difference between a flat white and a cortado…”

You laughed softly on the other end, and he smiled just hearing it. “But I never asked you. What about you, huh? What does your off-season look like, Starstuff–sensei?”

You let out a breath, half a sigh, half a smile. “Off–season? You mean the mythical time when I’m not being held hostage by quantum models and satellite firmware?”

He chuckled. “Yeah. That one. If it ever existed.”

There was a pause, like you had to actually think about the idea. Because rest didn’t come easy when your work literally reached the edges of space. But you know that if you could, if you had the chance to do it, then you know what you wanted to do.

“Honestly?” you said. “If I get downtime... I just want to be around you. Take care of you even more. That’s it. No labs, no screens, no math. Just... you. Even if it’s quiet. Especially if it’s quiet.”

Sukuna’s fingers curled a little around the edge of the counter, his heart doing that annoying little thing where it picked up speed without permission. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, my love.” you retorted, gleefully swooning about your fantasy. “You’re the only person I can sit next to in silence and feel like I’m actually resting. I don’t want a beach, or a trip, or some grand thing. Just the balcony with you. Or the kitchen. Or even the gym if you’re doing those dumb push–up challenges again. We can bring Marin too!”

He laughed, rich and warm, and tilted his head back to hide how much that meant. “Dumb push-up challenges.” he repeated, grinning. “Okay, that one’s on you for watching every rep like it was the Olympics all over again.”

“You make it hard not to stare, my love.” you said, and the flirt in your voice was clear enough that Sukuna had to bite back a smug little noise. “I’m crazy about you. You know that.”

“Stop, babe.” he said, eyes glinting. “I’m still mic’d up. I’ll short out the camera guy’s equipment if you keep that up.”

You giggled again, softer now. “I should get back to the lab in a minute.”

“I know, babe.” he murmured, glancing at the timer on the wall, already counting down the seconds you had left.

“Thirty seconds, my love.” you said before he could, reading his mind. “Guess it’s your turn to say something cheesy.”

He looked down for a beat, then spoke low. “Come home safe. Your coffee’s waiting. And I miss you, even in ten–minute pieces.”

Silence, again. But the kind that held a smile inside it. “Love you, my golden love.” you whispered.

“Love you more, my genius baby.” he replied, and the line clicked off.

Ryomen Sukuna turned back toward the crew, slipping his phone into his pocket like he hadn’t just been pulled halfway into orbit by your voice. “Sorry, you guys.” he said, settling back into the chair. “Where were we?”

The interviewer, still recovering, just blinked. “Right. Uh. You were saying something about cortados…”

But all anyone could think about was how the gold medalist, the fierce, untouchable captain had stars in his scarlet eyes for someone who charted galaxies for a living on the other side of town. And he never fell back to earth.

YOU WERE HAPPY AND NERVOUS ALL AT ONCE. The atmosphere was electric in the room filled with bright lights and excited reporters. The Japan Prize ceremony had wrapped up in a whirlwind of accolades, handshakes, and applause. 

You and your colleague, Dr. Maryu Hana, stood side by side, both holding your newly awarded prize with pride.  It had been a long, intense journey to get here, you both know that.

It was so many countless nights in the lab, endless calculations, and years of dedication to your groundbreaking research in astrophysics. But today, it had all paid off.

As the camera crew prepared to capture you and your partner, a bright eyed reporter turned toward you, eager to ask the questions that everyone was dying to hear. The reporter smiled brightly as they began to speak.

"Congratulations, [last name] – sensei, and of course, to you as well, Maryu–sensei. What an achievement! You've made such an impact with your work.”

You smiled, nodding at them. “Thank you so much.”

“But there’s one question that’s been on everyone’s mind: you’ve been very public about your relationship with someone who’s quite famous himself—Ryomen Sukuna, the Olympic gold medalist and national volleyball team captain. Could you tell us a little about how you balance such a high–profile relationship with your demanding career?"

Your heart warmed at the mention of Sukuna’s name, the very thought of him always bringing a soft smile to your face. You glanced at Hana, who was grinning knowingly. She had been there for quite some time now, watching the bond between you and Sukuna grow. She knows how you feel, how overwhelming love has consumed your heart.

“Well…..it’s a lot." you began, your voice steady but warm. "But I think it’s all about mutual support. Both of us have incredibly demanding careers, but we’ve learned to make time for each other, even if it's just small moments. When he's off–season, he's incredibly present, and when he's in the thick of competition, I try to be there in whatever way I can."

The reporter’s eyes widened, clearly intrigued. "It sounds like you and Sukuna–san really understand each other. What’s it like to have such a public figure as a partner?"

You smiled, your fingers absentmindedly brushing the edge of your award. “I don’t really think about him as ‘Ryomen Sukuna, the volleyball captain’. But at home, I just think of him as Sukuna."

"He's just your beloved Sukuna." The reporter supplies to you.

You nodded at them, smiling. "Exactly. He's just him. He's my fiancé. And Marin's cheerful energetic dad. He’s… the one who makes sure I’m well-fed with good coffee when I’m buried in research. He makes me laugh even when I’m on my hundredth sleepless night.”

The interviewer’s smile deepened as they jotted down a few notes. “You mentioned coffee, [last name] – sensei. We’ve heard rumors that Ryomen Sukuna’s barista skills have become legendary. Is that true?”

You laughed softly, unable to hide the fondness that bloomed in your chest at the thought of him. "He got his barista license during the off – season, yeah. He learned how to make the perfect cup of coffee just for me. "

"Which takes a lot, I heard he did at least twenty sessions cause he wanted to make it perfect!"

Well, he said he wanted to be able to spoil me during those rare moments when I can take a break. So, he did what he thinks he could for me. That's just love, you know?" You laugh softly, eyes full of tenderness. "Yes, I do get spoiled with the best coffee. Best in the country, best in the world, even.”

A soft chuckle passed through the crew, but the interviewer’s curiosity hadn’t been fully sated. “That sounds like a perfect balance. But what about the challenges? How do you two navigate the pressures of your individual careers?”

You took a deep breath, considering the question. “It’s not always easy. Both of us have high expectations for ourselves, and we’re driven by the work we do. But we’ve learned that we don’t always have to be together physically to support each other. Sometimes it’s just sending a text during a long day, making sure the other knows you’re thinking of them. When you’re in a partnership like that, it’s the small gestures that matter the most.”

Hana, who had been quietly listening with a knowing smile, nodded beside you. "I've seen the two of them quite a lot when Sukuna visits the lab. There’s a quiet understanding there. They both give a lot, and they both understand what the other needs, whether it’s space to work or moments of rest.”

The reporter’s expression softened, clearly moved by the connection between you and Sukuna. “It’s clear that you two have something special. And now, with such a significant achievement under your belt, what’s next for you both?”

You looked at the interviewer, then at Hana, and finally allowed your mind to wander toward Sukuna. You could almost picture him in the back of your mind. Sitting on the couch with your beloved dog son and waiting at home, the hum of the coffee machine brewing. He would stand up, your loving dog barking and asking you if you want coffee.

“Well…..” you said with a twinkle in your eyes. “I think we’ll both take some time to celebrate this. I mean, national title in the bag and a Japan Prize? It’s massive. But of course, the work never really stops for either of us. I’ll be back in the lab tomorrow, and he’ll be gearing up for his next season. But... I think we’ve got a good thing going. And no matter what comes next, we’ll continue supporting each other, no matter the stars we’re chasing."

The reporter grinned, a little mischievously this time. “Alright, you’ve painted such a sweet picture of life with Sukuna. But let’s be honest—no one’s perfect. What’s something he does that ticks you off a little… but you also can’t help being fond of?”

You laughed, the kind that comes from years of endearment wrapped in mild exasperation. “Oh, there’s definitely something.”

The reporter leaned in, intrigued. “Oh, please tell, sensei!”

“He has this thing, my love.” you began, eyes already gleaming with affection. “It’s where he refuses to fall asleep unless he’s holding my hand. Every single night. Doesn’t matter if it’s the middle of summer and we’re both melting into the mattress. So, he’ll lie there, completely still, not even pretending to sleep, just... waiting. Silently. Until I give in and reach over.”

You shook your head with a fond sigh. “It used to drive me crazy. I’d be tossing and turning, trying to stay cool, and he’s just lying there like some stubborn heat source, hand outstretched like I’m the one being difficult.”

The reporter chuckled, clearly loving every bit of it. “And now?”

“Now?” you smiled softly. “Now I can’t fall asleep either unless I know he’s holding my hand. I guess it just became our thing. I grumble about it every summer, but honestly… It's one of the little things that remind me how much he loves me. That quiet, constant presence. It’s annoying, it’s ridiculous, and it’s so him. And I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

The reporter scribbled something quickly, then looked up with a smile. “Sounds like the best kind of trouble.”

You nodded. “Yeah. He’s exactly that.”

The reporter’s smile lingered, soft and a little dreamy now. “That’s such a vivid image. I think everyone just collectively sighed at the thought of the Demon King refusing to sleep without holding your hand.”

You laughed again, this time covering your face briefly in mock embarrassment. “He’s going to kill me when he goes and watches this.”

“Worth it, isn’t it?” the reporter grinned. “It’s those tiny rituals that make a relationship feel real, y’know? Oh, but one last thing before we wrap. When you think about everything, the early mornings, the wins, the stress, the quiet nights with your hand in his….what do you think makes your love last?”

You paused, the question settling over you like a blanket. And for a moment, your expression softened into something raw and honest. You become flustered, but there was a smile on your face. “Gosh, that’s quite a big question.”

Hana smiles at you, tugging at your shoulder tenderly. “Just be honest about it. He’ll love that.”

“I think… it’s the choice, always has been.” you said quietly. “Every day, we choose each other. Even when we’re exhausted. Even when we argue. Even when it’s easier to turn away. He waits for me to hold his hand like it’s the most natural thing in the world, like he knows I’ll always reach back. And I do. That kind of trust? That’s what keeps us going.”

The room seemed still, like the story between the two of you had settled into the space, warm and undeniable. You smiled, already picturing the moment you’d get home. Everything about going home just makes you feel like life is beautiful, more beautiful than any utopia.

You imagine Sukuna on the couch, probably pretending he wasn’t waiting up. Your beloved dog wagging his tail, your favorite mug set beside the couch. And later, when the lights go out and the room is still, that familiar hand reaches for yours in the dark. You’d reach back. Always.

The interviewer smiled, clearly touched. "You’ve both certainly reached for the stars, and now you're holding them in your hands. Congratulations again, [last name] – sensei, and Maryu–sensei. And best wishes to both of you and your incredible futures."

The drive home was filled with a quiet kind of anticipation. The adrenaline of the ceremony still buzzed in your veins, and the weight of the Japan Prize still felt surreal, but all you could think about was the warm, steady presence of Ryomen Sukuna. 

But it was a stark contrast to the academic whirlwind you had just stepped out of, the cameras and interviews a distant echo now, replaced by thoughts of him. You wanted nothing more than to be home in his arms and feel his warmth only. 

When you walked through the door of your shared apartment, you were greeted by the familiar scent of something delicious wafting from the kitchen. The soft clink of pots and pans suggested that Sukuna was already hard at work. 

As you set down your bag, you caught sight of him in the kitchen. There was no longer the Olympian hero, but simply your beloved fiancé, who had rolled up his sleeves and was cooking with his usual focused intensity.

You smiled softly, the day’s chaos fading with every step toward him. He turned, sensing your presence, and when his eyes landed on you, there was no mistaking the pride and tenderness that filled them.

“Well, look who decided to grace me with her regal science genius presence, my baby.” Sukuna teased, a playful grin curling at the corners of his lips. He stepped forward, setting down the ladle he had been stirring with. “You deserve a victory lap, you know.”

You rolled your eyes, but your heart was already swelling at how normal this felt. In the midst of all the fame, the interviews, and the flashing lights, this was the real joy. It was just being together. This was more than anything, the best of your life.

“Victory lap?” you said with a soft laugh. “I think I’ve had enough of those for today. Besides, I know I’ll be back in the lab tomorrow. No time to rest on my laurels.”

Sukuna's expression softened, and he crossed the room in a few long strides to pull you into a gentle hug. His warmth seeped through your clothes, grounding you in the present. “You’ve earned it, babe. You and Hana both. You’re brilliant, and I’m proud of you.”

You chuckled against his chest, a lightness in your voice. “I’m just doing my job, my love.”

He pulled back slightly, his hands still on your shoulders. “Don’t downplay it. What you’re doing is incredible. The world’s got to catch up with you, genius.” His smile widened, as though that was a challenge he was ready to take on.

You shook your head fondly, your hand brushing over the front of his shirt before resting on his chest. “I think the world’s already caught up with me. Or maybe they’ve caught up with us.”

He raised an eyebrow at that, a low chuckle rumbling in his chest. “Oh? And why’s that?”

“Because, my love,” you replied, lifting your head to meet his gaze with a smile of your own, “I’ve got an Olympic gold medalist, cook and barista at home. All in one. What more could I need?”

Sukuna’s scarlet eyes gleamed with pride. “I’d like to think that’s a pretty good package.”

He dropped a kiss on the top of your head before leading you over to the dining table, where a meal fit for a celebration awaited. The table was set simply but thoughtfully. The candles flickered in the center, casting a warm glow on the beautifully prepared dishes. 

You could tell he’d put in the effort, carefully selecting ingredients to make something you’d enjoy. It wasn’t the grandest of celebrations, but to you, it felt like everything you needed. He was everything you needed.

He pulled out your chair for you with a flourish, and you sat down, already anticipating the warmth of his homemade cooking. As he began serving the meal, he made sure to tell you all about his day, how he had been following the interview, how much he was cheering for you, how proud he was.

“Tell me about the next step for your project, babe.” Sukuna said, leaning forward with an almost childlike curiosity. “What comes after the prize? What’s next for you?”

You took a moment, considering the future. It was easy to get lost in the immediate tasks ahead, but the truth was, you had dreamed about this moment for so long. The recognition was important, of course, but it was the journey you shared with him that meant the most.

“I’m still figuring that out, all that, my love.” you admitted, taking a sip of the wine he’d poured for you. “But honestly? I think it’s time to start looking beyond just the work. Maybe we’ll finally take that trip we’ve been talking about for years.”

He gave a sly grin. “You mean the one where we actually relax for once?”

You nodded, leaning back in your chair, feeling the weight of the day finally lifting from your shoulders. “Yeah, I think it’s about time.”

He raised his glass in a silent toast, his eyes soft as they met yours. “To that wish!” he said, his voice steady and filled with promise. “And to you, my baby for life. For everything.”

You clink your glass against his, smiling wider. “And to us, for making it all work.”

He smiles back at you, slyly as it was gentle. “Always, to us.”

As the evening drew on, the two of you found yourselves nestled together on the couch, the quiet hum of the city outside filling the silence. The warm glow of the candles lingered, and the soft music played in the background, setting a mood that was calm and content. 

Ryomen Sukuna’s arm was draped around your shoulders, his long fingers absentmindedly tracing circles on your warm, tender skin as you leaned into his side, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

“So, babe.” Sukuna said, his voice low but playful. “When are we packing our bags for that trip? Off–season still has time for us. You can ask for a break, hopefully. You know the one where we actually relax.”

You smiled, nuzzling into his shoulder as you thought about it. “I’m still not sure where I want to go. I’ve been so caught up in the work, I haven’t even had a chance to really think about it.”

“C’mon, babe.” he teased, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “We could go anywhere. Let’s pick a place that’s got nothing to do with astrophysics. No satellites, no stars, no quantum models. Just us.”

You chuckled softly. “You mean… no coffee? No espresso machines?”

Sukuna’s smirk deepened. “Well, I’m not giving up my barista status. But maybe I’ll take a break from making it and just let you enjoy it for once.”

You laughed at that, your hand resting on his chest. “Alright, deal. But what about you? You’re always so busy with your training. You never take a break either.”

He looked down at you, his gaze softening. “You’ve got a point. Maybe it’s time I take a break from everything too, you know? Even volleyball. No gym, no courts, just time for us. I’ll spend the whole trip just making sure you have everything you need.”

Your heart swelled at the thought, and you lifted your head to meet his gaze. “You know, you already do that every day. I don’t need a trip to feel special. Just being here with you is more than enough.”

Sukuna’s smirk softened into something tender. He pulled you closer, his lips brushing against the top of your head. “You’re the only one who thinks like that. But that’s why I love you, babe.”

For a moment, everything else faded almost suddenly. The world outside, the interviews, the awards. It was just you and Sukuna, a quiet evening shared between two people who had built something deeper than any career or recognition.

“I’m serious, my love.” you murmured, your voice quiet but firm. “I don’t need anything else. You’re all I need.”

His arms tightened around you, and for a moment, the only sound in the room was the soft beat of your hearts in sync. The weight of the world, the prize, and the noise of the outside world all faded into nothingness.

“I’ll keep that in mind, babe.” he whispered. “But I’m still taking you on that trip. Call your boss. We deserve it.”

You leaned into him again, your eyes fluttering closed. “Alright, alright. I’ll make it happen.”

“Good.” He says, placing a kiss against your hair. 

The room fell into a comfortable silence, the kind that spoke volumes without needing words. Sukuna didn’t ask for more than you were willing to give, and you didn’t ask for anything beyond the quiet, shared moments that were somehow the most significant.

You could already picture the trip in your mind. It was a place with no distractions, no deadlines, just time to breathe and be with each other. It wasn’t about where you went, but about the peace that came with being together. A perfect escape from the chaos.

As the night wore on, you both lingered in that peaceful space. The gentle rise and fall of Sukuna’s chest beneath your head was enough to lull you into a sense of comfort and safety. And when you finally stood up to get ready for bed, Sukuna’s hand slid into yours like it had always belonged there.

“I’ll make you coffee tomorrow morning, babe.” he said with a grin as you both walked to your bedroom. “But only if you let me spoil you with breakfast again.”

You smiled, nodding. “I think I can manage that.”

And with that, the night unfolded like any other peaceful evening at home with your beloved Sukuna. Just as always, it was quiet, comforting, and full of love. And it was everything you could ever want. 

epilogue

The sound of the roaring crowd reverberated through the television speakers, the tension in the air almost palpable as the game neared its final moments. The scoreboard flashed, Ryomen Sukuna’s team was trailing by just one point, the energy in the stadium crackling with anticipation. 

The ball soared through the air like a comet, heading straight toward the opposing team’s side. You leaned forward in your seat, your fingers tightening around the mug of coffee made by your love still in your hands.

You were back in the office once again, still doing calculations for the newest improvements on the satellite. From your quiet corner of the laboratory office, you could see it all unfolding on the screen: the powerful serves, the flawless blocks, the high-flying spikes. And there, amidst all the chaos, was Sukuna. 

His toned and tanned body, glowing from the vacation sun, flexed with the way he moved. His hair slightly tousled, his face set in that familiar determined expression, and his movements. It was fluid, almost effortless. It showed exactly why he was a gold medalist.

"You’ve got this, my love. Come on!" you whispered under your breath, even though you knew he couldn’t hear you. Still, it felt right to say it, to be part of this moment, even from afar.

The camera zoomed in on Sukuna as he took position for the game-deciding moment. The opposing team was ready for the block, but there was something in the way Sukuna stood, his eyes locked onto the ball. The quiet confidence he wore was contagious, even through the screen.

The ball came soaring toward him. He didn’t hesitate whatsoever. With a powerful, fluid motion, he leapt into the air. His spike cut through the tension like a blade through silk.

The crowd held its collective breath as hope continued to pounce against the heaviness of the unknown. Time seemed to slow as the ball collided with the perfect angle and flew past the blockers.

The stadium exploded with sound. Cheers, clapping, the echo of voices screaming his name. You grinned, watching his team members rush toward him in celebration.

Yet, your heart swelled most when Sukuna’s scarlet eyes locked onto the screen. It was brief, but in that moment, it felt like he was looking right at you.

“You did it, my love!” you whispered to yourself, a soft laugh escaping your lips as you clutched the coffee mug a little tighter. “I knew you would.”

The post-game interviews began, and you took a sip of your coffee, settling in to watch the typical frenzy of reporters bombarding him with questions. You were about to scroll through your phone when a new message popped up on your screen. You smiled when you saw the name.

“Victory’s ours. Now it’s your turn. Don’t think I forgot.”

It was a text from Sukuna. You quickly typed your response.

“I’ll be home in a bit. I’ll see you soon, my love! Same rules as before, right? No satellites, just us.”

A few moments passed before his reply came through.

“Exactly. I’ll be waiting for you, babe. With some hot milk this time.”

You put your phone down and watched as Ryomen Sukuna was handed the microphone. The interviewer was grinning, clearly excited by the energy surrounding him. He pushes away his wet fuschia hair back from falling against his eyes.

“So, Sukuna–san.” the reporter began to say. “You’ve just clinched the game with that impressive spike. Your team has been on fire this season, and you’re back with a vengeance after your Olympic gold medal. How does it feel to be on top once again?”

Sukuna’s usual smirk curled into his lips, but this time it softened, just slightly, when he spoke. “It feels good!” he said, his voice smooth and steady. “But you know, every win is just another step forward. It’s never enough to just get there. You keep pushing for more.”

“Of course, of course.” the reporter continued. “I know you’re planning to go home after this. But please do tell, because we’ve heard a lot about your off–season routine. How do you balance being one of the top athletes in the country with your personal life? Especially with someone like [last name] — sensei, the brilliant astrophysicist who just won the Japan Prize?”

Sukuna leaned back slightly, the ghost of a smirk playing on his lips as he considered the question. His fingers drummed idly against the armrest.

But his eyes. They were sharp, steady, and glowing with quiet determination—remained locked on the interviewer.

“Well....lots of work. And devotion. In the mess, you always choose each other!” he began, voice low and sure. “Just as I hope for another hope for the gold, there should be hunger for love. Do everything for love. Make sure that hunger never really fades. You put in the hours, the blood, the sweat, just to sit back. And.........”

He paused for a beat, then let his eyes drift toward you across the city through the screen, something undeniably soft slipping into his gaze.

“Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot more long-term. I’ve got medals, trophies, records. But the real win? It’s being able to come home to peace. To her. And having life with her."

"So yeah, I’m still chasing the top. In love, in life, in work. But I’m also building something steady outside of the spotlight. Learning how to show up in all the quiet ways that matter most. That’s how it goes.”

The whole work room was quiet for a heartbeat, like everyone had collectively forgotten to breathe. Then, you found that Hana was on the verge of singing praises all the sudden.

“God, he’s so sweet!” Hana groaned, dramatically flopping onto the couch. “I wish my boyfriend was just like that!”

Kenji wheeled around to her with a laugh. “Good luck with that!”

Haruki raised his hands in surrender, eyes wide. More flustered than he had ever looked in his life. “Hey, I’m trying my best here!”

Kenji shot him a wicked grin. “Oh? Doesn’t sound like it’s enough!”

You stifled a laugh behind your hand as Hana groaned, “Don’t start, you two! this is why I need a Sukuna in my life.”

The interviewer chuckled at the chaos unfolding in the background before turning their attention back to Sukuna. “Well, it sounds like you’re more than just an athlete, you know? You’re the backbone of something really special. A perfect team, indeed. So what’s next? Another championship? Or something new entirely?”

Sukuna cracked his knuckles, that usual glint of fire returning to his expression. “Definitely another championship, for sure.” he said, voice low and certain. “But more than that? I want to set an example. Not just on the field, but off it too. Show that you can be relentless in your goals and soft where it counts. I’ve already got the most important win. The rest? That’s just icing.”

Your heart gave a little flutter, even after all this time. “God….”

And beside you, Hana whispered, “Seriously. Where do I order one of him?”

The room burst into laughter at Hana’s dramatic whisper, even the interviewer chuckling as they scribbled something into their notes. Sukuna glanced over, amused, one brow squirming up in that smug way of his.

The audience laughed, the room buzzing with energy from the live segment. Sukuna’s words continued to become a viral moment once again. You watched through it all.

You saw his smug grin, the teasing glint in his eye as he proudly declared his engagement once again. Even through the screen, his confidence was magnetic, almost obnoxiously charming.

Kenji was still whooping in the background. “Man, that was bold! You better be ready, he just threw you under the spotlight now!”

Hana looked at you with starry eyes. “Seriously! Do you know how many people just fell in love with him after that clip? You better keep a close grip on that ring!”

You smirked, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Trust me. If anyone tried, they’d find out real quick, he’s not the only one who fights professionally.”

Everyone laughed, especially Haruki, who was now clinging to the armrest of the couch like it was a life preserver. “I’m just trying to live up to the standard, okay? Can we lower the bar back to human levels?”

“Nope, nope!” Hana said sweetly. “Not when that guy just announced he’s engaged and is a one woman man like a heartthrob lead in a drama.”

You laughed again, but there was a subtle softness in your gaze now as you looked at the ecstatic and eccentric form of Ryomen Sukuna’s image moving on screen.

Still gesturing and continuing with the interview, but still the corner of his mouth pulled into that familiar cocky grin. You couldn't help but let your eyes sparkle with intrigue and entertainment.

“Yeah, yeah.” you said, waving a hand dismissively, though your voice was warm. “And he comes with a whole lot of maintenance too you know. He takes care of me and loves me. You all hear the charming part, but you don’t see the sulking when I hide the junk food or when he loses one sock and swears the washing machine’s out to get him.”

Haruki blinked. “Wait—he loses socks?”

You nodded solemnly. “Like it’s a personal betrayal every single time.”

Hana gasped. “Even his flaws are adorable!”

Kenji clapped a hand over his heart. “That man is living on final boss energy and soft boy romance tropes. Unreal.”

The interviewer, still recovering from the wave of chaos, leaned forward with a knowing smile. “So, wedding soon?”

Ryomen Sukuna looked at the interviewer, smiling back. “Maybe.”

“Oh, so maybe….it means soon, right?” Hana asks you.

You paused, your voice dropping just a touch. “And I’ll take it. Every time.”

You smiled to yourself, the image already so clear in your mind. “Yeah. When the season’s over and this new paper’s out. We’ve got plans. Just really quiet ones. It’ll be something simple, something ours. But I already know… he’ll be waiting at the altar with that same stupid grin, holding out his hand like always.”

The room settled for a moment, the laughter and teasing softening into a warm hum of something quieter. You were sure it was something close to awe.

The screen behind you still showed Sukuna, his expression full of affection for you even as he continues to talk about his plans this season.

Maryu Hana leaned her head on your shoulder with a theatrical sigh, the kind only she could pull off with just the right amount of over the top flair. You like to think that she was truly ready to go and cry her eyes out.

“That’s it, wah. I believe in love again.” Her voice was touched with mock despair and genuine wonder, like she’d just witnessed a fairytale unfold in real time. 

Kenji, never one to be outdone in the dramatics department, wiped an imaginary tear from the corner of his eye with a shaky breath. This was all the sudden.

“I’m gonna cry and I don’t even like romance.” he sniffled, clutching at his chest as if Sukuna’s off-screen declaration had personally wounded him with its sweetness. “This is emotional damage, I wasn’t prepared!”

Laughter rippled through the room, light and affectionate. It was somewhat of a thing here whenever you and Sukuna were brought up.

This was just something people didn’t expect, seeing all his tattoos and all that. Yet the more they knew him, the more they all fell in love with his devotion for you. They were as hooked as you were. 

Haruki, still visibly flustered from being compared to Sukuna for the third time in ten minutes, finally dropped the act and threw up his hands in defeat. “Okay, but even I want to be invited to this wedding now, senpai.” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck as his cheeks flushed pink.

Hana snapped her head toward him, lifting her head off your shoulder just long enough to squint suspiciously. “Figure out how you’ll propose to me first!” she huffed, jabbing a finger into his side with faux annoyance.

He winced and held up his hands like a man under interrogation. “I—I’m working on it!”

“You’ve had two years and not even a hint of a ring!” Hana grumbled, arms crossed as she pouted dramatically. “Meanwhile, Ryomen Sukuna is out here declaring eternal love on national TV like some legendary shojo manga lead.”

“Do you want me to compete with The Ryomen Sukuna?” Haruki squeaked, clearly panicking now. “Because that’s a losing game and you know it!”

Kenji leaned over with a smug grin, patting Haruki’s shoulder like a disappointed older brother. “He’s right. That man’s got cheat codes. You? You’re just trying not to burn pasta.”

The group burst into another wave of laughter as Haruki buried his face in his hands and groaned. It was another lovely day in the research lab. You sighed contently as you nodded to yourself. Life was indeed good.

You smiled as you watched your friends bicker and banter, your heart full. Even with Sukuna miles away, his presence had lit up the room like he was sitting right there beside you. And somewhere in all the laughter, the teasing, and the warmth.

For a moment, you knew felt it again. It was that familiar, steady pull. The quiet certainty that no matter how big the world got, no matter how loud the applause or how bright the spotlight.

It was your love, at its core, that remained soft and tender and at the center of it all. And most of all, you knew that man was entirely, irrevocably, yours.

[emotoangel]

okay I’m going on a little ineffable phannie rant read at your own gut wrenching discretion bc I can’t lie this shit’s about to get parasocial

because it’s not just Dan and Phil dressed as Crowley and Aziraphale, is it?

it’s Dan and Phil, who have struggled with their sexualities for years. closeted, faced every speculation under the sun when it comes to their own sexualities, the other’s sexuality, their relationship, their legitimacy, if they’re queerbaiting or not, being OUT. OUT and dressed as two canonically gay men in love with each other, two men who would see the world burn to know the other was safe. two men who helped stop the end of the world so they could be together.

a man who is bitter and cold and a little bit bad (but not evil I would say, though he might try to make you believe he is) and a man who is love and light and exclusively good (or so he’d like you to believe). and am I talking about Dan and Phil there, or am I talking about Crowley and Aziraphale?

it’s about these two men who, even 5 years ago, feared the word ‘gay’. it’s about how Dan, Mr Commitmentphobe, Mr I Can’t Even Commit To A Pet, Mr Soulmates Are Not A Thing That Exist, bought a costume, and sprayed (or, fucking hell god help me DYED) his hair red, and posted a cute picture of him and his ranch partner/4000 year old tortoise/companion through life/actual soulmate and TAGGED IT INEFFABLE HUSBANDS.

it’s a couples costume!!! it’s impossible for it not to be, considering they are two of the most well known canonically in love gay men on the internet right now!! it’s a thank you to their little phannies online who make them feel safe and comfortable enough to do what they do every day. and it’s a shoutout to the progress they have made in 15 years. a ‘hey, we’re here, we’re happy and gay and (in love) together’. and that’s SOO SPECIAL. ITS SO SPECIAL. and it means everything!!!!

AND ITS NOT EVEN JUST THE ONE PHOTO.

it’s the selfie on the story of them cute and couply and drinking the aziracrow drinks and looking happy and in love 😭

AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON CAT AND BEAR SAVE THE WORLD VS HOWLEY AND AZIRAPHIL ARE HERE TO SAVE THE WORLD

anyway basically I’m so insanely proud of them, feeling very parasocial about the progress they’ve made in 15 years to get to a point where they’re comfortable enough to make phwedding jokes and gay jokes and jokes about both being switches and furries and in love. feeling so proud of them being out and proud and gay and in love and also I have a good omens tattoo so I’m choosing to believe they did this for me personally thank you x

[dr-spectre]

I watched this YouTube shorts video which has over 100k likes on it where it basically went "oh the Splatoon fandom is weirdddddd!!! It has weird porn in it guys!!! Isn't that crazy?!?! It's so toxic guys!!! They found ways to weaponise racism guys!! They are so vile about splatfests guys!!!! They are gooning to splatoon characters!!! They are kids!!"

I hate to break it to you dude but.... that's literally every fanbase in existence.

Every single fandom on planet earth has weird porn in it. Splatoon is no different. Is it fucking weird to goon over the player Inklings and Octolings as they are confirmed to be under 18? YES! VERY VERY WEIRD AND THAT BEHAVIOUR NEEDS TO GET CALLED OUT!!!!!! But a large majority of fans who engage in NSFW content are looking at the Idols and other adult characters, not the literal teenagers. Plus adult Inkling and Octoling ocs do exist, i should know BECAUSE I MADE MY OWN!!!!!

Also do not judge people's fetishes unless it's actively harming someone or it's illegal. That's wrong on so many levels. Stop making people feel guilty about what they are into man. If someone wants to make an NSFW art piece with Marie's feet then I'm not gonna judge them publicly for it. That's straight up rude and the guy in the video was basically doing that by showing some stolen fetishy art and adding an "eww" audio clip on it... Fuck off dude. Leave them alone.

He also got the release year of Splatoon wrong by saying 2013 instead of 2015.... Not the worst mistake but still... Kinda paints a picture on how much he truly cares about this franchise you know?

One of his points can be boiled down to "they are using splatfests as a way to weaponize racism." What the FUCK are you talking about? The last time i remember a Splatfest being toxic was in Splatoon 1 with CALLIE VS MARIE! THAT WAS REALLLLLLLL BAD! Other than that it's been friendly jokes and little jabs at the enemy teams. He fucking used this terrible video as a way to demonstrate his point too....

Every Splatoon fan on the planet doesn't like that video, It just comes off to me as so disingenuous.

Also fun fact! SPLATOON 1 TO 3 HAD UNDERLYING THEMES ABOUT RACISM WITH THE INKLINGS AND OCTOLINGS!!!!!! Splatoon 1 was about the introduction of that idea and it was very black and white with hints of grayness found in the sunken scrolls. Splatoon 2 was about making it more gray as Callie joined the Octarians and THE ENTIRETY OF OCTO EXPANSION!!!!!!!!!!! Splatoon 3 was the conclusion to that theme with DJ Octavio helping out the NSBS and Octolings co-existing with Inklings peacefully. But did he bring that up? NOPE!!!!!!!

Trying to paint the Splatoon fandom as some "toxic trojan horse" is just... fucking wrong. There are plenty of fandoms out there that are 100x worse than Splatoon's. The Splatoon community is extremely diverse and sure there are issues that need to fixed and yes there is racism. The Splatoon community is leagues above any other shooter game community by far. Play a bunch of quick play matches of Overwatch or TF2 to see what I'm saying. You're gonna be seeing the n word more times than a Quintin Tarantino movie.

Also he talked about peak character design in the Splatoon games, and the one character he mentioned was.... Big Man... The only male Idol and not anyone else. That just seems a bit.... suspicious to me...

[clownstillwritesfanfic]

Let’s talk about the foreshadowing of Klaus and Allison’s relationship in the tarot scene in Season 4 of The Umbrella Academy.

I’m not an expert, I don’t even own my own deck. But I went through a phase where I watched a lot of tarot readings and I do have some books on how to read tarot.

Klaus has the Rider-Waite deck which is the most popular tarot deck. Anyone that does tarot probably has their own copy. It’s just very iconic.

The first card Klaus pulls is The Lovers, which causes him to joke about not being laid.

This is actually excellent foreshadowing. At this point, he still hasn’t taken the marigold.

The Lovers is a very powerful card. It’s telling him he will face temptation of some sort soon or it can be about existing relationships. The relationship does not have to be romantic or sexual. This can be shown directly after he is given the marigold. Allison gives him the marigold to save his life because she loves him. But this ultimately strains their relationship due to his trust being broken.

This causes him to revert back to his old ways with drugs. The temptation is back. His first love. And the drugs cause him to end up being prostituted out and subsequently, getting laid.

The second card he pulls is The Tower. And his reaction is interesting because…this is NOT the kind of card you’d like to see.

The Tower doesn’t directly mean loss of self control on its own, but when paired with The Lovers, it can very much be interpreted that way.

The Tower is actually a scary card to pull sometimes. It represents danger, sudden change, and destruction, among other things. Now it’s not always bad. But it’s not a card you’d be happy to see in most readings.

Him being so nonchalant while pulling that card is kinda crazy to me. Especially when he’s so freaked out about safety. The Tower is basically a huge warning sign that shit is gonna get rough.

Tarot can be read in multiple ways, it’s personal to each person. But they way I’m reading this is that this is also foreshadowing the chaos and destruction the Cleanse will bring. He’s doing this while he’s in the van while the others look for Jennifer.

The Tower also can represent higher learning and liberation, something the Keepers believe the Cleanse will bring.

Now obviously Klaus isn’t doing a general reading, he’s doing a personal reading. So for him, The Tower mixed with The Lovers could be a form of loss of control, especially since he won’t be able to consent to having the marigold forced back in him by someone he trusts and loves. He lost control of that.

The third card he pulls is actually wrong.

This is not Death. This is the Ten of Swords.

Despite its name, Death is not actually representative of actual death. It actually means the end of something. What’s interesting about Death is that it can have different meanings depending on who you are. For example, a man pulling this card could represent the loss of a benefactor. Who’s Klaus’ benefactor? Allison. She lets him stay in her house rent free, eat her food, bubble wrap everything, because she loves him and wants him to stay sober.

However…he didn’t actually pull Death. My guess is they didn’t do their homework well enough and thought that because the card doesn’t have the name of it on it like The Lovers or The Tower did and they saw the picture of a man stabbed to death, they just assumed this was the Death card.

Despite that, the Ten of Swords plays perfectly into this. This card represents betrayal. Pulling this card signifies somebody will betray you very soon or you already have been.

And who betrays Klaus? Allison.

On their own these cards are damning. But together it tells a story. Someone Klaus loves will betray him and send him on a path of self destruction and this will forever ruin his relationship with them.

Allison betrays his trust and gives him the marigold to save his life due to love. This causes him to feel betrayed and that’s why he crashes out on her and everyone else and why he ends up going back to drugs and ends up being pimped out to pay back an old debt.

But wait…this also foreshadows something else that happens later in the season.

Who else gets stabbed in the back and betrayed by a lover? Who else has their whole life destroyed only hours before they end up being erased to save the world?

But he’s not the only one…

While season 4 may have been disappointing…the foreshadowing was clever.

[konahana27]

Bourbon / Amuro Toru / Furuya Rei Zero's Tea Time Opening Font Analysis based on YT comment that basically make me brainstorm everything here:

(It's actually JP comments, this picture is from mtl)

[Directly copied from my Twitter post]

Bourbon's font is very much flashy. In a way, it's befitting of Bourbon, who's known in the Black Organization as someone highly intelligent and excellent tracking ability, who Akai also doesn't want as enemy. Even Gin himself irritated by him for always doing as he please, while at the same time being so secretive like Vermouth, with a sentence I directly quoted from detectiveconanworld, "One who you wish only existed in novels. A detective like Sherlock Holmes."

"Bourbon has excellent information gathering skills and keen insight." By Kir

Vermouth is wary of him for knowing her secret (to be honest, HOW. That woman can be as secretive as Rum?? Especially considering this secret make Vermouth unable to kill Bourbon even if she wanted to).

Basically, I mean Bourbon himself is very conspicuous in the Organization.

So it's really not a surprise if Bourbon font is as flashy and eye-catching as picture above.

Amuro's font is in cutesy style, and much simpler than Bourbon's font, but you clearly can feel his personality from that font alone.

He's a cheerful, full of passion to become better detective like Sleeping Kogoro. His reputation isn't as striking as Bourbon, but he's not that unnoticeable either. Amuro is someone you feel comfortable with. He's not very active nor very passive. Someone good at talking and listening.

His existence alone give comfort, as if he will understand you, care for you, and not in unbearable way.

Amuro will offer you a sweet and cute smile, his deduction ability will help you solve your problem, he will take care of your need without asking. You may even get his delicious cooking!

He's a simple person, and that's why he manage to get everyone to be comfortable with him.

His font represented his whole personality. Not an overly bold person, nor a quiet person. He's sweet, attentive, calming, with undeniable skills, who's at first glance looks like nothing special.

Now, Rei's font. It's.... Flat. Like a default font you use for report. It's simple like Amuro's font, but in bad, boring way.

Rei's font isn't flashy like Bourbon, or simple but cute like Amuro. It's empty. It's formal. Nothing represented his personality.

... No, maybe it is represent him. Because Rei is someone without much attachment to life.

Rei has nothing precious in the world anymore, so all his devotion focus on one and one only, to protect Japan, the place where all his beloved people born and die for.

This formal font represent Rei who never opened himself to the world. No one alive knew his experience, his childhood, his feeling. No one.

His subordinate is the one he feels fondness the most, but in the end, Rei still have reservation in front of his subordinate.

His font is flat and too normal, because Rei doesn't have any 'color' anymore in his world. It's just his work, work, and work. He's someone who will never complain about work, because his work is all he have left. His work is what make him manage to still strive in life.

That's why this font is such a perfect representation of Furuya Rei, who's unwilling to let loose his hand on his work as PSB agent Furuya-san, as undercover Bourbon, and as fabricated identity Amuro-san.

"Forget three. I could act out a hundred different faces..." (Furuya Rei)

End of Thread! You know I love a character so much when I actively making content about them.

Additional: This is probably why I absolutely refuse to call Rei as 'Amuro'.

Unless I'm talking specifically his action as Amuro in front of other people, I'll always call him 'Rei'.

I don't want 'Furuya Rei' to be forgotten. I want 'Furuya Rei' to be alive and fresh in my memory.

Because 'Furuya Rei' is his truest self.

[boyfhee]

HEESEUNG BF HEADCANONS

g fluff w kissing if that counts fem reader wc 1.1k note based on my relationship with heeseung ( i have never seen him irl ) requested

the e in lee heeseung stands for excellent boyfriend and there are five es in his name

he's shy, he's adorable, he's flirty— basically all in one package

like catch him blushing at every little act of physical affection because he just!!! loves!!! you!!! so!!! much!!!

MILESTONES, milestones are important to him. he remembers the first kiss and the first date, the day he said 'i love you' for the first time and vice versa

you will never not hear from him because he texts you all the time, at any time of the day. he could be the busiest person on the planet and would still make time to text you or call you

“this picture reminds me of you,” “i thought you had a stage rn?” you'd text back. “i have in five, but i wanted to send that to you”

the managers are done with him but they can't help it either, you two are just adorable

has the best hugs :( literally wraps his arms around you as soon as he sees you. like he sees you and his mind goes. MUST HUG!!!!

has a really bad habit of pinning you against anything

it's mostly the closest wall that you find yourself pinned against with him just a few inches away, but if you're in the kitchen, he'll pin you against the counter. walk into a room? you're pinned against the door. relaxing on a couch? he's on top of you, caging you between his arms while pinning you down

it's because he likes having you close to him but also loves to see the effect he has on you, the way he can get you flustered in a matter of minutes— even seconds, and the way you pretend to be annoyed— it makes you even more irresistible

talking about annoyance and anger...he has another bad habit, which is to kiss you whenever you're angry

yeah no, he does respect your boundaries and is so down to listen to the reasoning behind your anger, but catch him scooting closer to you minute by minute, close until he can't get any closer, and he kisses you until your anger has disappeared

while we're on the topic of kisses, i'd like to introduce you to the concept of : neck kisses with heeseung 🙏

YEAH NO his lips always, always, trail down your neck and collarbones whenever you two are close, especially while cuddling together

mostly because he loves to see you all shy :< but also because he just loves your reactions when he's kissing your neck

WHISPERS SWEET NOTHINGS AND I LOVE YOUS BETWEEN KISSES it's one of the many things that make him feel even closer to you than he already is

soft whispers of compliments and endearments against your lips during slow and lazy make outs, sweet kisses against your cheeks and neck while he calls your his pretty girl, the way his fingers tuck a few strands of hair behind your ear while he looks at you like you're the most precious thing in the entire world— they're a few things from a long list of reasons why you fall for him every single day, all over again

calls you 'love' and it's the sweetest thing ever, he says it like it's your name, as if the word came into existence because of you, and before you, it was just meaningless

but also calls you baby, especially when he's trying to get your attention

“love, come here, please” “are you ignoring me, love?” “baby, please,”

yeah, that is the process, and you're usually in his arms by the third try. he just knows what you want a little too well

LOVES it when you're laying with your head on his lap and let him play with your hair while he also peppers your face with kisses in between. will tell you to do the same as 'payback' but actually, he enjoys it when you play with his hair

i think heeseung is very good with words, so catch him reciting essays for you even when you least expect it, but it's mostly before bed

he just wants you to know how much you mean to him, and how you're singlehandedly the most important person in his life. he wants you to know that you're loved, in case he isn't able to show it well :(

LATE NIGHT DATES he's always down for some three am escapades to the nearest stores and parks, just something about sauntering on empty streets with his hands intertwined with yours makes him feel at home

but if you aren't able to sleep and date is not on the list of things to do. . .catch him making a midnight snack for you!!!!!!! like you just have to say the word and he's be in the kitchen, whipping up something for you really quick

loves it when you watch him cook, he loves to watch you cook as well. he prefers to have you sit on the counter while he's cooking because it makes it easier for him to steal a few kisses here and there

loves it even more to see you enjoy what he cooked for you, catch him getting shy every time you compliment his cooking. it's not all that, you know it's not really much, but it's more than enough for you, and he wants nothing else

plans the best dates!!!! from fancy dinner at a restaurant to stay-home dates comprising of movies and doing chores— yes doing chores together feels like a date to him

he just likes to do the simplest of things with you, whether it is doing the dishes or washing or laundry, or just cleaning up and rearranging the rooms. he likes to be a part of every little thing in your life, he likes it when you're a part of his daily routine, it tells him that you're here to stay

HE'S SUCH A TEASE THOUGH like there's this playful side to him behind all that cuteness i mean?? his favourite thing to do is interrupt you with short kisses whenever you're talking to him, but he also does it when you're on phone with someone

OH AND he loves getting presents for you, most of the times it's something he makes. like one time you complained about not being able to find a good ringtone and my guy PRODUCED one for you he's asking to be proposed at this point

ratings : ⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆ 10/10 bf, would recommend

[olderthannetfic]

I'm feeling weird about an interaction I had the other day, and I'm wondering if I could get... I dunno, advice, I guess? From the usual commenters here.

So, context is that three-ish years ago, I got hate-brigaded in the fandom where I did most of my writing, in a way that came out of nowhere, and also in such a way that I felt like I deserved it. I ended up deleting everything I'd made for that fandom off the internet just to make it stop, including nearly six years of an art blog. I got a reality check later from friends whose credibility I trusted a lot more than random strangers on the internet, and eventually reposted most of the fic (backdated to the original dates of posting), and do actually still post fic in that fandom (also backdated to avoid notice). I also post a couple of fics on that account that are not backdated where I write with OCs from the original fandom fic in other fandoms.

The other day, someone who had been working their way through kudosing my stuff in the old fandom posted a complementary comment about it on the most recently updated of the two fanfics that isn't in that fandom, said they liked my OCs in the original fandom fic, and asked if I'd ever be interested in writing about that original fandom again. I explained that I was still writing fic in that fandom, it was just all backdated because most people really did not seem to like what I was writing.

And they responded saying that was too bad, and asking my opinion about a character they love, noting that it's pretty obvious from my fic that I don't like them and wondering why. And, like, this was probably just someone who was looking for fandom connection... but the character they were asking about is one of the most popular characters in the entire fandom. Most of the people still actively writing fic in this fandom are writing about this character, so if they wanted people to engage with about this character, they had basically everyone but me to engage with. And the person who set off the initial hate brigade against me that lead to me deleting basically my entire internet presence for months had this character as their URL.

So in my brain, I immediately go, "bait, this is bait," and delete this person's comments, delete my one response to them, and lock down comments on all the works on that account. And I know, I know that's paranoid overreaction. Based on their kudos pattern, this person was clearly working their way slowly through all the things on that account, which is not something someone who was only there to bait me would do. The only slightly off thing they did was comment on an unrelated most-recently-updated work instead of one of the works for the actual fandom. Probably they didn't realize that most people have comment emails turned on and didn't know I'd see a comment if they posted it on one of the older works, and they definitely didn't know what asking that particular question would do to me.

But I just... don't know how to exist in a fandom space any more without intense paranoia. I want to keep writing these things that bring me joy, and I do, but I miss being able to have my comments open without fear. I miss being able to post to a blog that wasn't locked down from Tumblr search. I wish I could interact with ANY fandom these days—not just that original one, but any fandom at all—and not feel like someone is going to turn on me out of nowhere. I can't overstate how out-of-nowhere that hate brigade was: my average fic got maybe 2 kudos. My art blog had fewer than 100 followers, and on average I got like 5 notes. I still to this day don't know why the person who set it off had such a hate-on for me, because it was clear from some of the anons I was getting that they'd built up a hell of a litany of ills to pile on my head, while all being vague enough that I never quite got a clear picture of what they were accusing me of.

I know part of the solution is to grow a thicker skin, and to block frequently. And I've been working on that, I guess I just... thought I was doing a bit better at growing a thicker skin and not being reactionary and the other day's incident made it really, really apparent I'm not, and I don't know what to do about it, because apparently the therapy is not doing enough! (Not that my therapist understands fandom...)

Any advice?

--

I mean... it's PTSD or something of the sort. Treat it as such.

[grassiestars]

drop 5h3 skizz lore

the lore kinda sucks tbh so sorry anon

but i hope a really rushed ref sheet (it's barely a ref sheet I'll be honest) works for you! ill have a bunch of explanations and all that under the cut :)

very very brief TLDR at the end! angel lore thing is nearer to the end as well

i think the most obvious ones are the lightning scars, so let me start with that. in Wild Life, when Cleo summons Mumbo and Skizz, there's that lightning, and when they die, there's the lightning yet again. That's a lot of lightning. So I believe that both Mumbo and Skizz would have a bunch of these scars. Does that make sense. and because of the sheer number of lightning things there are, his wings would probably be scorched... not pictured here (at least not very well) but I would say the base of his back wings are black? like permanently? i cant really articulate it that well but you get the point right

the only Secret Life reference? thing? is the scar on his face, which as stated, he mixes up with his lightning scars (totally not an excuse for me to put less effort into drawing them). since Joel was above him and hitting him before Skizz died.

the scar on his neck is from when he sacrificed himself to team TIES/etho in Limited Life. my ren design (which definitely exists btw. in my head) also has a similar scar because of the beheading. what is with these block people and their obsession with beheading. the explosion scar is from all of those tnt minecart shenanigans. he has a bigger one on his chest which i didnt draw because i dont want to draw chests they confuse me. the back confused me enough

you can't see this one all too well but basically in Last Life, Skizz died to an arrow to his back, so I would say it hit between his wings because that's cool! I don't know what arrow wounds look like and ill be put on a list if i try and find out

Third Life, Skizz died the same way as in SL, so I won't go too in depth. I'll just say the wound is on his chest or something. all other scars are from him being silly in HC ill just say that

super complicated angel lore time! the aether or heaven or whatever you want to call it sent down an angel to answer a certain imp's prayers. unfortunately Skizz was sent and hes possibly the worst person for the job. the eye-looking scars (sorry for using this word so much) on his wrists are from the other angels who are watching to make sure he doesnt do anything absolutely stupid. it's nothing angsty or gut wrenching that's it.

TLDR: scars represent Skizz's finals deaths each season, and hes a little bit bad at his job of being an angel sent from above

and that should be it! feel free to ask anything else if this lore doesnt make any sense which yeah fair enough

[redclercs]

DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

xi.it’s okay we’re the best of friends

— the one where all you do is think about the feelings that you hide.

warnings: guys, my brain was failing during this so not really proofread, also please pretend the dress is the same in both pics lol, alcohol consumption. 2.5k words.

currently playing: drive by halsey!

masterlist ✢ next

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softyn FIRST POST SINCE MAY AND MOTHER WANTS US DEAD

ynstars I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SLAY

aid4anfeels ugly bitch

lecsainz516 whose wedding is this, charles and carlos were there too

formulayn did @/charles_leclerc take these?

liked by charles_leclerc

THE COMMENTS FOR THIS POST ARE LIMITED.

August 5th, Madrid, Spain.

WHEN Charles said you needed to make new memories in Spain to replace the bad ones, you didn’t have a wedding in mind. However, with the rollercoaster that is your life as of lately, you don’t swim against the current anymore. Just going with it is not a bad way to live when you’re still trying to reach the surface and get away from the wreckage.

Things aren’t good. Not yet. The press is still having a field day with all that he said, she said merry go round. Aidan and Victoria are fighting to play the victim and Mia Kim is on a mission to paint you as the worst sister-in-law who could have ever existed. Which, to be fair, paints her in a weird Freudian light.

But things are better than they were the last time you were in Spain. And that’s something to be grateful for.

“Are you sure?” You asked Charles on FaceTime for the third time that night two weeks ago, he had just asked you to be his plus one to one of his Ferrari mates’ wedding. “Are you a hundred percent sure they won’t mind?”

The last thing you wanted was to feel like an intruder, and with the type of attention you carry around like a dark cloud over your head, ruining someone’s special day was not an experience you wanted to add to your repertoire.

“Of course they won’t mind, soleil.” Charles assured, he was still in Hungary after the Grand Prix. “Tommaso told me I could bring anyone, and I want to bring you.”

The last time you saw Charles in person was in New York City, almost two months ago. It doesn't mean, of course, that you stopped communicating. Whenever Charles is on his phone, you can be certain you'll receive a text, a picture or a random iMessage drawing. You handle time zones as best you can without sacrificing too much sleep time, especially for the one who has to drive a car at 300 km/hr.

Although he insisted on you coming to any Grand Prix of your choice, you thought it best to stay away from the paddock for a while. Plus, you had some work to do. You didn't love Talk Shows while promoting, most hosts did horrible, unfunny jokes, and you were the butt of a lot of them, but if being in some of them helped you to speak about your situation and dismiss whatever rumor Victoria, Aidan or Mia (or just about half the internet) had going on, you were willing to make the sacrifice.

You were also willing to attend a complete stranger's wedding just to see Charles again, but you didn't want to give that thought the depth it demanded from you. Not in the seven hour flight from New York to Madrid, and not now, as you're getting ready for Charles to pick you up to go to the wedding.

Your blue dress is frankly magnificent, and you are aware of how good you look, but it doesn't hurt that the first thing Charles does when the doors to the lift open, is compliment you. Well, to be fair, the first thing he does is gather his thoughts and try not to feel stupid after basically picking his jaw up from the floor.

"You look gorgeous," Charles says, clearing his throat. His sudden anxiety makes you chuckle, as his Adam's apple bobs up his neck. "I missed you so much, soleil."

You are mildly disappointed when he doesn't hug you the way he did back in New York, and you dismiss the feeling almost as quickly as it appeared. Although his words linger in the air, he missed you, and you did too.

"I don't want to ruin your hair," he explains, as if he's read your mind, and smiles wider.

"Right," you shake your head, it was obvious. "You look pretty good yourself, Charlie," you add, always trying to return the compliment, and only managing to make it awkward.

There is something about men in suits that makes them twice as attractive, and it's unfair when it comes to someone like Charles, who is already way too handsome as it is.

"Thank you," Charles is always nice enough to accept your half-assed, anxiety induced compliments. "Shall we?"

You nod, and when he offers his arm to lead you to the car, you link yours through it taking a breath so deep, it makes your lungs ache.

"Do you like weddings?" Charles asks as the engine of his car roars to life. A red Ferrari is the only way you manage to describe it, afraid of getting details wrong. Although you're certain Charles would patiently explain anything you needed to know about it, you don't ask.

"Everyone likes weddings," you reply, setting both hands on top of your knees. "Right?"

Charles chuckles and shrugs, "I guess so,"

You love weddings, except when you're expected to be the bride.

"Charles," you pat his shoulder and he takes his eyes off the road for the briefest second. "Are you completely sure the bride doesn't mind my presence?"

You don't want to give yourself some sort of importance you don't deserve—the bride has more important things to worry about—but particularly nervous about how your presence will be received at the celebration.

"Seriously, y/n," Charles soothes, his right hand leaves the steering wheel and searches for your own blindly, accidentally landing on your empty lap. He takes his hand back immediately, red creeping up his neck. "It's fine." he resolves, his sight way too focused on the road now.

"Alright," you whisper, smoothing the skirt of your dress. "Alright."

Both of you remain silent the rest of the way as you take in the Spanish landscape and Charles drives like his life depends on it. You promised yourself you'd ask for as much information on the happy couple as you could, but your voice is lost in the pit that opened in your stomach.

And the evening is just beginning.

It's after the ceremony, at cocktail hour that you find everything out about Tommaso and Bárbara thanks to none other than Carlos Sainz, who seems to really have a thing for gossip and also, for making fun of you for crying during the vows.

"Leave me alone, Carlos," you warn for the last time, this time threatening him with your closed fist. "Not my fault you don't have a heart in that big-ass chest."

This makes him laugh harder, and even Charles chuckles against the lip of his whiskey glass.

"I miss you so much around the paddock, y/n!" Carlos sighs, patting the place above his heart. "For real."

You click your tongue. "Sure you do,"

Carlos and you talk a lot less than Charles and you do, of course. But if Charles calls you during whatever free time he has while in the Ferrari Suite, you can trust Carlos to insert himself in the conversation.

"And a lot of the other drivers do too," Carlos' tone is mocking again, and you glower at him.

"Stop picking on me," this time you punch him on the shoulder.

"I'm being serious. Lando has a crush on you,"

You talked to Lando a few times, mostly when he and Carlos were being boys and hitting each other in the balls outside the Ferrari Suite and Lando made small talk as he tried not to touch his private parts. A crush is an exaggeration, Lando just told you he thought you were cool for making movies.

"Why don't we take some pictures?" Charles suggests before downing the rest of his whiskey. You don't miss the look he gives Carlos.

"Why not?" you smile at Charles, shrugging. The place is beautiful and you would love to have a memory of this whole thing that you can go back to.

"I'll catch up with you guys," Carlos calls as you two walk away, uninterested in the impromptu photoshoot.

Charles directs an annoyed look at him again and then makes it go away to return his attention to you.

"What was that?" you ask, taking Charles' arm again for him to lead you to where the rest of the guests are more scattered and won't photobomb your pictures.

"What was what?" Charles lifts an eyebrow, forever the expert at playing dumb. Or, not really.

You shake your head, this is another deep thought you don't want to venture into. There is enough of this weird tension already, and you're not sure if Charles feels it too.

─────────

"Your girlfriend is beautiful," a lady is patting your hand, a gentle smile on her face as she looks at Charles. She's the spouse of another Ferrari team member, and the first thing she did was compliment your dress before even asking for your name.

"Oh, I'm not—"

"We're just friends," Charles clears up, gentle as well. "But y/n really is beautiful."

The woman raises both eyebrows and laughs, an 'oh you kids' snicker that isn't unkind. "Of course, of course."

It's the first time of many during this party that Charles has to say you're not in a relationship, and it seems to get easier every time the words come out of his mouth.

Although it's true, you're not sure why it nags at you.

You cry again during the couple's First Dance and verbally threaten Carlos to leave you alone as you wipe your tears carefully, doing your best to keep your makeup intact. He laughs, but takes your threat seriously and remains quiet. This whole Tom and Jerry thing is amusing but he doesn't want to actually make you angry.

A few songs in, after you're done bickering with Carlos and you have finished your third glass of champagne, Charles asks you to dance with him.

An slowed-down version of Sixpence's 'Kiss Me' plays as you take the dance floor. You blame your giddiness on the fact that you finished that flute of champagne in record time.

"What is it?" Charles questions, smoothly placing one hand on your hip while the other holds your palm. His thumb runs up and down the curve of your wrist.

"What if I step on your foot?" you retort, looking up at him. That's only one thing that makes you nervous, although you know how to dance. You took lessons for both Supercut and Parisian Valentine.

Laughter bubbles from Charles' chest and you join in, although this makes you even more nervous. It would be stupid to say you don't see how handsome he is, even if he's just your friend.

"I won't mind," Charles promises, and his fingers press a little harder against your hip bone.

"Okay, then."

It's obviously not a complicated endeavor to sway around the dance floor with Charles, he lets you set the pace, lacing your fingers together after you spin back to him.

"Thank you for coming with me, soleil," he says in a low voice. You can smell the alcohol in his breath although it's been a while since he stopped drinking, he still has to drive you back to your hotel. "I really missed you these two months."

"I love weddings. Thanks for inviting me," you squeeze his shoulder, the contrast of your manicured nails against his shirt distracts you momentarily from the fact that you can feel his breath against your jaw.

It's the second time today that you miss the chance to tell him you missed him too, and you know he notices it by the way he leans away.

The song ends before your tongue decides to respond to you again and Charles lets go of you. A few seconds feel like an hour as you stare at each other, unable—or unwilling—to say anything of what either of you really want to say.

"Care to dance?" a guy with longish hair and dark eyes is offering you his hand now, as a faster song starts and the lights around the room turn brighter.

You break eye contact with Charles and when you look at him again, he just nods, taking a step back to your assigned table.

"Sure," you tell the guy, a tense smile on your face. "Let's dance."

The ride back to your hotel is silent again, and you're too tired to find a way to fill it.

Charles' energy has shifted and this makes your stomach turn. Your anxiety worsens every time you feel someone is 'off' towards you, and that someone being Charles makes it a hundred times worse.

He takes the elevator to your room with you, placing his hand gently in the middle of your bare back to let you in first.

"We're okay, right?" you whisper, looking at your distorted reflections on the silver wall of the cubicle.

You see Charles' reflection frown and then his face turns to you. "Of course we're okay, y/n. Is something wrong?"

You shake your head, the loose strands of your bun tickle your nape. "I'm just wondering."

Charles is never bothered by your need for reassurance, not even when he needs reassurance himself. That he's not being a complete and absolute moron by wanting the woman all the boys want to dance with, and holding onto that little slither of hope that he might have a chance with her. He's the one standing next to you after the party, still.

"We are okay. Didn't you have fun today?" he asks, pushing those thoughts aside. You're friends. Just friends.

"Of course I did!" you inhale sharply, "I just— nevermind." you take your hand to the back of your head, already tired of the half undone bun that threatens to give you a headache.

"I had fun. I always have fun when I'm with you," Charles follows you out of the elevator and down the hallway to the third door marked with a 3321.

You're still struggling to find the exact hairpin that holds your hairdo together, and Charles pinpoints it almost at the same time as you do, pulling it out swiftly to make your hair fall down your shoulders.

It's a meaningless gesture, Charles hasn't given it a second thought or stopped walking. But a shiver runs down your back as his knuckles graze your nape.

"Thanks, Charlie." You say, swallowing.

"Of course," Charles puts the pin inside the pocket of his trousers with a shrug.

You stand in front of the room for a minute, having a stare down again as you rub the back of your head.

"Thank you again for today, Charles." you're the one to break the silence, keycard already between your fingers. "I had a great time."

"I'm glad, soleil." Charles his dimples appear when he smiles and your breath hitches when he leans towards you. It feels like you've been showered with ice cold water. "Good night, y/n," he says and presses his lips against your cheek.

"Good night, Charlie," you wave him goodbye from the door as he walks back to the lift.

The feeling of his lips against your skin is there, even after you've washed your face and tucked yourself into bed.

─── team principal radio: ❝thank you for reading! surprisingly, i don't have much to say this time other than i really hope you enjoyed this chapter, and that I appreciate each one of you dearly!♡❞

✰ paddock club members: @sassyheroneckgiant @flowerchild-96 @fangirlika @shegotboreddsoo @roseamongthorns13 @cissyp @chimchimjiminie16 @saturnsrinqs @roni-midnights @gayyvodka6 @studioreader @its-ash-not-grey @lu-morningstar @ferraribabe @reidsworld @feelslikestrawberries @celestialams @kosmosgalore @heeseung-baby @missenclod @buendiabebeta @mycenterfold @aces-tattooartist @burningrred @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @rainybabe25 @ru-kru @lazybot @teenagedreams-cl @cool-ultra-nerd @kuskumu @formulakay3 @bisexual-desi @somanyfandomsbruh @icarus-nex @haziefairy @xjval @xoxoloverb @sainzleclercs @headinthecloudssblog @incoherenciass @bookophiliac @torrie421 @nooshytushie @azxulaa @steephanie07 @anonymous8462 @tbisloneely @pukklv @bn7921 @be-your-coffee-pot @fdl305 @lovely-blackinnon @landonorizzz @ruleroftheuniverse @ivegotparticulartaste

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[cleolinda]

Weekend links, April 13, 2025

This week has been a hundred years long. Apparently I posted the fourth Silent Hill 2 commentary only 5 days ago, and I am already—well, rewind. The fourth video and its recaps are up, plus an extra video and a sidebar post. It's our first foray into the Otherworld and it ends with me managing to get past Pyramid Head (one does not "defeat" Pyramid Head) in two tries. Also, a beautifully staged scene with Angela, kingfisher mythology, and moth math. 

Unfortunately: OBS has decided to hate me personally and it currently records my gameplay like we're in an earthquake—not the cinematics, mind you! The cinematics look fine!—and I don't know why and I don't know how to make it stop. I have a list of potential fixes I am basically at the end of, and I will now be looking into Free Easy Recording Software That Isn't OBS in hopes of moving on with my life. As such, I don't think there's any way I can get my own commentary recorded in time to stay in step with Ian's stream this week, so I'm just gonna do a writeup of a recording that only exists in my own head. I've wanted SO BAD to get to this part of the game (please refer to picture here), I have a lot to say about it, and I do have screenshots. I'm just gonna TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENS, I GUESS.  

ANYWAY HERE'S SOME LINKSPAM

Reblogs of interest

Tumblr may or may not go down for real this time:

"If Tumblr dies, where will you go?"

How to download a backup of your Tumblr

"dreamwidth makes me feel like a baby. did you guys use to blog like this" I'm still there, Gandalf. (I need to resume crossposting there, though.)

"Tumblr yes a place for investors money put money in Tumblr can trust Tumblr user for giveing good legiticmatecy."

-

To all who celebrate:

Happy Leland Melvin Day!

Happy National Unicorn Day!

Happy [Next] Bandcamp Friday is on May 2nd, 2025, on which the money you spend goes 100% to the artist.

-

No, for real, "Madison" as a girl's name basically does come from the movie Splash.

"there aren’t enough posts going around about the swedish cryptid known as the skvader which is a rabbit with pheasant wings and also a very good boy."

On believing (or not) in fairies, duendes, trolls, and ghosts

An unexpected amount of Gritty this week

"No copypasta has ever ruined my life as comprehensively as Hell Fuck Castle."

Pretty sure I've reblogged this before, and I'll probably reblog it again: "One thing most people don’t realize about Gazebos is how bloodthirsty they used to be until the 1930s or so."

"As a scribe I see fit to write down all my troubles"

"Introducing Margie! A cat-goose dragon based on this little fella from this medieval manuscript"

"May I gift you: pineapple dragon?"

For all the Animorphs fans

Stories of seeing Muppets as people

"the lichen knowledge iceberg i have constructed on request"

Wait... people don't have "an intact chronological memory of life prior to age 12"?

David Lynch sure had one.

"i like to call this fate Death 2. Death 2 is the scariest thing that can happen to a person."

"poob is gonna call you. now poob is just gonna call you."

This week, it was fuckenwimdy.

Two posts that start off deep and sad and end up deep and wholesome. 

Video

Babysitting but literal (it's cats, they'll be fine)

Irish Tesco worker nails church acoustics in work stairwell

“Binary Sunset” from Star Wars, also in a stairwell

"Truly, the world is a better place for having skilled people who are willing to use their skills in the pursuit of incredible silliness."

The sacred texts

I deem this post about celebrities getting all their clothes tailored to be a Sacred Text because it has stuck with me for a very long time.

An old favorite: a compilation of "[band] sounds like [hilarity]" posts.

"Roses are red, April is grey. But in a few weeks, it's gonna be..." 

Personal tag of the week

Videos my dog did not like, a tag I've never used before but two nickels, etc. 

[maryfailstowrite]

Rose's quote in the crossword of the literature insane girl MV will never not fail to amaze me. I absolutely love it and here's why:

"Ego cogito ergo (turbatus) sum."

First with the basics: "Cogito, ergo sum", the original (not really, because the real original was in french, but whatever) quote by René Descartes, translates into "I think, therefore I am". I don't think the meaning needs much explaining, because it's just... that. It's one of the first principles of Descartes's philosophy, and it states that one's existence is certain because to think, beforehand you need to exist. You can't doubt your own existence because to doubt, you need to exist. It's as simple as that.

But this interpretation of the phrase has little to do with Rose's character. There's a word (or maybe two, but I'll get to that later) that the MV adds, and that changes the whole meaning of the phrase.

“Ego cogito ergo (turbatus) sum.”

Rose’s quote translates into “I think, therefore I am (troubled).” This is not her doubting her existence or whatever, this is about her memory. “Thinking” here isn’t meant as in literally just thinking, but as in Rose’s thought processing and reasoning. Her photographic memory makes her have an overload of information to process at all times, and after processing it, she’s unable to discard it no matter what. She’s troubled, troubled because no matter what, she can’t forget. Every murder, every drop of blood, every gasp, every word is engraved in her mind, and no matter how hard she tries, she’s doomed to remember it all for the rest of her life.

A lot of people see having a photographic memory as a blessing. Almost like a superpower. They think of detectives solving murder cases because they remembered the exact position of one of the curtains at the victim’s house, or in Rose’s case, they imagine her making perfect replicas of a painting just after seeing it once. And, sure, maybe she can do that. She is the Ultimate Art Forger, after all. But I still think her photographic memory is much more a curse than it is a blessing for her.

Humans aren’t made to remember. We are made to forget a very big part of our lives, in fact. Do you remember exactly every meal you’ve ever had? Every shower you’ve taken? Every outfit you’ve worn? No, of course not. You don’t. Just like you don’t remember every single time someone has given you a strange look, or every time you’ve done something embarrassing.

Do you see where I’m going with this? Forgetting is a coping mechanism. Not only does it prevent our brains from overloading with useless information, it also helps us heal from bad experiences. If we remembered every single detail from all of our bad past experiences we would go insane, we would never heal from those memories and emotions. We could replay the memory over and over and over again to analyze what could’ve been different, what we could’ve done in another way, and what we could’ve ultimately done to avoid the situation. But as humans, we forget. It takes time, but the details start to fade one by one, and by the end, the bad experience is just a foggy distant memory, a mix of lingering feelings and a blurry outline of what happened, an outline that can’t hurt us anymore…

Except for Rose. Rose remembers everything. This is why the world is so overwhelming for her (let alone the killing game). She dozes off half of the day because if she wasn’t sleeping, she’d have to remember everything that happened at that time. I think it’s easier to picture it if you put it like this: Imagine if you were forced to memorize every single thing that happened around you for a day. Not just what you do, but what everyone in your view and hearing range does. It sounds exhausting, right? Well, welcome to Rose’s mind.

Rose is troubled because she can’t forget. Or rather, she remembers, therefore she’s troubled (see the parallelism I did there with the quote we’re analyzing???? see it????). She’s condemned to remember every detail of everything that has ever happened to her, to replay moments like movies and analyze them until she finds out what could’ve been better, what could’ve been worse, what she could’ve done different. The problem is, the past is the past, and no matter how much you replay it, it never comes back. It’s just an illusion, a nightmare that appears in front of you, and yet you can never reach. You can just watch as it unfolds, unable to change it, unable to do anything, unable to look away. She can never look away.

As an ending to this post, I’d like to take a closer look at another detail. The original phrase is “Cogito, ergo sum”, as it’s already been stated before, but the version used in the MV is “Ego cogito ergo (turbatus) sum.” “Ego” simply means “I”, so it doesn’t add much meaning (in fact, the original French is “Je pense, donc je suis”, so the pronoun was already there from the beginning), but I still think adding it emphasizes the meaning they want to give to the phrase. It refers to Rose’s personal experience, so instead of making it a general quote anyone can say “I think, therefore I am (troubled)”, they emphasize the personal meaning of it by adding the “I”, which can be perfectly omitted in Latin without losing the phrase’s meaning. It’s something more like “I think, therefore I am (troubled)”, and I think it’s a great detail to see how different Rose’s experience of existing is compared to everyone else’s, or at least, how different she considers it to be.

In conclusion, I’m a nerd that loves looking too much into things. Thanks for coming to my TED talk 🫶🏻.

[epickiya722]

As an izuku and ochako fun the reaction to this chap makes me despair

Whether it be ppl hating on izuku for enjoying his life and doing something for himself for once

Or reducing ochako as a prize to be won when we open on her survivors guilt and the work she does basically singlehandedly working on improving Japan's childhood mental health counseling (stop making me defend horikoshis writing of women guys this time he didn't actually do awfully)

I know it cause ppl based shit off leaks and no one's patient enough to wait for decent translations

Also ppl going well its non Canon and that horikoshi didn't write it when horikoshi never said that pls chill yall

Exactly that! I hate that Ochako gets heat for even existing in the story.

Like, whether she's a favorite or not, I find people on both sides annoying from how they view her.

She isn't a prize. She's not a good digger. She didn't even do anything wrong.

Same for Izuku.

Ochako and Izuku are two characters who want to do good, trying to make it better for future generations be it quirk counseling to being a teacher.

At the end of the chapter, I don't see it as romantic but I also don't see it as a bad thing either.

I see it as a pair of characters coming to each other and understanding how the other feels because they both had similar experiences. Throughout the story, Izuku and Ochako have mirrored each other so it only makes sense that they would meet up and go "I understand and we can get along."

I know it's been said that the epilogue has weird writing and yeah, a bit of it is kind of is. However, it mostly came from the fact that people just saw pictures and went by what leakers said, so it all got muddied.

People were quick to pass judgment, nothing new, and jump to conclusions.

Whether he wrote it or not, I still rather see more of the chapter and make sense of it than to just look at pictures and go "even though there's little information, I think this sucks".

Especially, if it's going to involve my favorite characters.

At most, 431 is like a bonus for fans who do want it. I doubt Horikoshi or anybody who worked on it is trying to force the fandom to accept 431. People act as if they are though.

You don't. Just like you didn't have to read the manga overall.

[nyxi-pixie]

I am always ashamed of bringing up men to you, you deserve only the best and most toxic yuri.

That being said, WHY DID NOBODY ASK FOR SKK?!?!? OR SSKK??!?!

I always wanna hear more about your thoughts on literally everyone and everything, please please, at least Chuuya or Dazai? 🥺

cackling i cant judge too harshly given my skk addiction. in a kinder world i would just be yuribrained but those two are just too catered to my tastes😔😔😔

and i SUPPOSE since you asked nicely. ill do skk but im too tired of looking at longposts so. no one open this except prime haters bc asking me abt skk and notps is just not going to go well.

okay now we are alone😍😍😍

CHUUYA!

favourite thing about them: i think ive made a post abt chuuya self contradictions before but !!! so fascinating. obsessed w him forever. yes be a million things at once that outright oppose eo 💞💞💞

least favourite thing about them: i genuinely cant think of anything😭😭 like even stuff thats like boyyy thats fucked upp it doesnt even make me sad about him like picture me hand against my window staring out like that sickos comic. YES... HAHAHA YES!!!

favourite line: i really like the 'obviously im never gonna give in. i can keep this up forever. but for what purpose?' in stormbringer while hes being tortured. it really encapsulates what asgr talks abt in the afterword about chuuya being an inexhaustible spring. like this is the closest he gets to breaking and its with this blind assurance that he CAN take anything that is done to him, and he only needs to find a reason why thats worth it. which he then does ofc!!! idk theres so many chuuya lines i lovelovelove but that one is just! i dont see anyone talk abt it but it feels Important to me

brOTP: kouyou chuuya are always gonna be dear to me but ive also been on a bit of an albachuu kick recently. so both of those‼‼‼

OTP: skk obviously

nOTP: i have many that i dislike just bc theyre boring to me personally. biting into sandwich and the only filling is bread like okay girl. im not usually a crazed only-er about what i ship but literally most of the dynamics skk have with other characters arent interesting to me in a 'they fuck about it' capacity. but im boring abt mlm shipping i need canon to give it to me on a silver platter otherwise im just not interested. i also find most shippers annoying but i find skkers annoying too so i guess that doesnt say much.

random headcanon: vastly overestimated his alcohol tolerance the first time he went drinking w the pm. not just out of his usual arrogance nono i think he just thought bc he could swing back 8 cups no problem with the sheep, it would go the same elsewhere. only the sheep were always trying to stretch it bc theres tons of them and they have to at least pretend theyre being careful w how often they stole it. and he was basically drinking alcohol flavoured soda. which is very different to a 10-15% bottle of dry wine.

unpopular opinion: i dont want him to leave the pm lawl. i know people talk abt the beast afterword mentioning ada skk and im sure there could be an interesting story there but chuuya would need a REASON to leave the pm. its not like. bad for him the way a lot of people write it to be - or it hasnt been since post stormbringer. not an ideal situation for anyone but like. hes not got an ideal life. like hey the built weapon who spent his formative years hammering it into his bones that he needs to be useful for his existence to be justified is never going to be satisfied with a 'good' life. even if the pm WAS bad for him the way it was for dazai, hes a hell of a lot more loyal to it conceptually than dazai was, so he'd still need an Event to lead him to leaving. anyway. i know lots of people just dont like seeing the pm as anything but a horrid environment causing their blorbo to have a terrible awful time but yk😭😭 thats just not whats going on

song i associate with them: leash on my neck by susannah joffe occasionally makes me think of chuuya//the sheep if im in a particularly insane mood. youve gotta be willing to bend it conceptually but trust it works

favourite picture of them: any version of bugchuu. fifteen bugskk are so important

DAZAI!

favourite thing about them: hes soooo tied to the people he loves. and this would be easy to say about a lot of characters in bsd but dazai is unique in that hes soooo present in canon but only ever as an extension of the people he loves. like a story can have him be as main a character as it likes but the movement of his plot is reliant on other people always!!!

least favourite thing about them: LEAVE THE CAFE WOMAN BEEEEEEE I BEGGGGGG😭😭😭 he actually hasnt said anything annoying abt women in a while bc he only does that to be a cunt when hes bored i think but come on girl

favourite line: kind of obsessed with his endless 'you know i would do this that and the other' and 'i know your breathing pattern your heart rate the decibels of your moans when u cum' etc type lines that he spits out rapid fire in both the first skk reunion and then the lovecraft fight. hes such a loser.

brOTP: said this on the atsushi post already but dazatsu is sooo dear to me. alsoooo bc ive been thinking abt it recently, i am kind of fond of dazai and kouyous dynamic. idk theres such a quiet little history communicated in the bits they have tgthr while shes being held hostage by the ada.

OTP: skk. again! nothing to say!

nOTP: every day i grit my teeth when i see a fy0zai take. also i have several different versions of kn/dz tags blocked LMAOOOO. enjoyers of the latter soooo often state their hatred for skk and then hc the kn/dz dynamic to be things that skk is already doing that kn/dz just isnt like in canon. and im not huuugely invested in their dynamic regardless but as w all of bsd i am exposed to shippers making the absolute worst of posts so it goes from smthn id just find boring to something im an active hater for. 2023 made me a sg/dz hater as well but i barely see posts abt that now so im safe. i just get bored of fandom bicycling i think. which is an issue bc bsd has a major disease about it w dazai😭😭😭

random headcanon: for a guy w basically zero possessions, hes horridly sentimental. the lupin matchbox, keeping his mafia phone, etc. so i think he has a little box of keepsakes that is shoved in a corner gathering dust and a lot of it he meant to burn the same night he did moris coat but he didnt and he still has them. just random bits and pieces of a life he should have been content to leave behind, but never really could.

unpopular opinion: i dont give a fuck about redemption arguments or 'he was too awful to turn good'. literally are you 8 yrs old. the change is possible and no one is irredeemable and morality is ambiguous manga is literally nawtttt for you. also he's always been saving his friends brained. oda just directed him to do that elsewhere. be on the side that saves people so he can do it more easily but he was very much already saving people. like. thats not new for him it was just much more concentrated. lots to be said about bsd maintaining character traits that manifest differently depending on circumstance and will. every part of a person can look good or bad depending on how it is executed etcetc. loyalty is valuable until its to the wrong people, manipulation is despicable until it saves people. etcetc.

song i associate with them: no thoughts on this actually. sorry dazai u infect my brain at all times ur not allowed into my music too!!!

favourite picture of them: listen. its. hes got a disease and hes imparted it onto me.