#i do feel a little bit bad abt this but. theyll be ok in the end :) its all good fun its all good angst

[coconox]

"little" silly and biased theory i think that noctis, like vera, wanted gr skk to be cerberus' skk

in rozen's secrets she has thought so much about wanting our skk to be cerbys skk she straight up came up w a method of hypothetically transferring them to cerberus

i think it also kinda lines up w the fact that vera doesnt really trust murray as much as she does w skk. now ofc it could just be the whole "everyone loves mc" trope, but it was stated somewhere in main story abt how vera still doesnt really trust murray due to him being so secretive and leaving many ppl in the dark abt his intentions, plus vera always ran into dead ends when trying to dig up any sort of secrets in regards to murray (i kinda think this is sort of a protective measure vera went through to ensure nothing bad would happen to noctis or 21 if murray became cerberus' skk, but thats more of a hc and i have no evidence to back that up lol)

while yes cerberus does listen to murray, it doesnt always mean theyll 100% trust him like they do w skk. i think the fact that murray is also a remote skk leaves some sort of emotional disconnect btwn him and cerberus. whereas w our skk, who is always on field, has a bit more connection (both physically and emotionally lol 💀) w cerberus purely from just being able to fight alongside them and being the go-to skk for m.i.n.d. connection if anything goes south

another small thing i'd also like to add is the fact that skk was the only one able to give buddy nicknames shows how much 21 grew to trust skk, considering in most of ex05 21 refused to acknowledge/cooperate w skk unless vera tells her to

there was also chaos unsnarled, where 21 was practically unphased from skk m.i.n.d. linking w her out of nowhere, compared to ex05 where she kinda hated the fact that they had to connect to her at the beginning.

now back to noctis, back in chapter 10 (we are now in chapter 24 as of the making of this post) noctis brings up skk in a convo w bianca

this is very much a huge stretch, but his remark on "but now that commandant is leading a team of... trash" seems a bit of a /hj to me. while yeah its a jab at how cerberus likes to poke fun at gray raven, it also feels like hes saying it w a bit of envy? his earlier remark abt how skk treats him (i.e. most likely in a kind/friendly way) is smth he wishes he could have, noting how cold and ruthless a lot of purifying force members tend to be. should also be noted how he stated our skk and not his skk, again reinforcing the small disconnect cerberus has w their actual skk i mentioned earlier.

timeskip to ex05, where cerberus works alongside our skk. to them it would almost feel like a trial run for if skk was in cerby rather than gr.

again, i could very much be exaggerating his excitement and dissect the "of course, i'm very friendly" line using his dorm lines as further evidence, but i'll leave out as much spoilers abt noctis' er story+general content released in sands of wrath as possible for this post. for the first bit of interaction btwn skk and noctis, he appeared to be VERY responsive to a lot of skk's remarks, essentially not containing his excitement of meeting AND working directly w skk. theres also the fact that despite vera pulling a /j w the whole "humor skk while im not talking" comment, again, it feels more like a /hj moment. i do think vera wants noctis and 21 to open up to/get along w skk as well, considering skk is like a breath of fresh air in terms of how the majority of ppl react to cerberus' presence/treat cerberus in general.

from vera wanting to kidnap skk, to 21 considering skk as more than her companion, to nocti considering skk as his partner, i think the lack of mentioning murray while praising skk speaks volumes over which skk they prefer/genuinely want. now again, this could be a whole "everyone loves mc" trope w the added bonus of murray only being mentioned if lee is around/the subject in question, but this is just a silly game theory,, ok mayyybe hc territory, idk im bored and impatiently waiting for sands of wrath HGJDKFGHK

also this was totally an excuse to further build on my skk oc lore LOL /hj

[gibbearish]

Hey, I found ur trans quiz thing on uquiz, I think I'm in the right place. Anyway, I'm basically positive that I'm trans, but I don't know if I should come out. If I do, my mom and brother will be disgusted by me, (both Christians) and I'm pretty sure I'd get the same result from my best friend. My real name is Roman, but I put Charlie for my username bc I want to be Charlotte instead. I don't want to bottle up my feelings, but I'm sure they would all judge me. What do you suggest I do? Thx for listening.

hey there! yep you reached the right place:3

this is always a tough one, i was in a pretty similar situation when i was in high school. i know a lot of people will say like "you never know until you try, the people who love you might surprise you!" but personally ive always found that to be somewhat shallow advice. you know the people in your life better than randos ever will, so above anything else i would say to go with your gut here. if it tells you that coming out now wouldnt be safe, then unfortunately i think it probably would be in your best interests to just keep your head down until youre able to set up a life and support system outside of them, so that if things do break bad it doesn't fuck you over.

that being said, that doesn't mean you have to bottle it all up either, nor does that mean all hope is lost for having a relationship with those people afterwards.

first, try to seek out others like you in your life right now. im not sure how old you are but most of the people who've reached out from the quiz have been high schoolers so i'm going off that assumption, if you are in high school i would see if your school has a GSA you could join, or if that wouldnt be a possibility bc ur parents wouldnt let you go then you could try reaching out to the teacher that runs it to see if they have any advice or could help you connect with other queer kids outside of the club. if you can't do that then you may still be able to connect, i know the stereotypes abt people "looking gay" are shit but there are also legitimately queer style choices that people make on purpose because they want to look queer (myself included), and while openly saying "hey you look gay lets be friends" would suck, ill let you on on the secret code to tell queer strangers you recognize their vibes: "omg i love your hair". and obviously randos can give that compliment too but im being 100% serious when i say that if that comment comes from Another Queer and is said in the "im gay too please notice me" way, it hits different, idk how to explain lmao. or "i like your pins" if they have pride stuff. really it's just you pointing out the Thing that made you go "you seem like me," and then complimenting it to show the other person youre cool with that stuff. and obv follow the other persons vibes, if theyre just like "oh thanks" and then turn back around then just move on w ur day, but if theyre like "omg i love your hair too!" then *hacker voice* youre in

anyways on to the second part which is all hope is not lost:

you may not be able to come out to these people now, BUT you may be able to start laying the groundwork to do it further down the line. i'm not saying start religious/political arguments, obv do whatever you need to stay safe, but you can start just. nudging them in the right direction. like say your parents are ranting about something right on the line of anger abt queerness, like a guy wearing eyeliner or w/e, you could drop a noncommital "eh i think it looks cool but i get it" or "i mean its kinda just facepaint when you think abt it tho right?" or another example i cant think of right now to just kind of. push the needle a little bit. and with this kind of thing it's very important you dont go into it expecting immediate change, like. this is you planting the seeds so that in six months when theyre trying to fall asleep theyll be like "....huh. i guess it kinda is just like facepaint, so. why is facepaint ok for men but makeup isnt" yknow? so if you go into it with that being the expectation, the things you say hopefully wont register as confrontational or disagreeing, but just as like. the noncommital hand wiggle gesture. it can take a long time for ideas to take root in people so it makes convos much easier when you remind yourself not to expect immediate change

now obviously your mileage may vary, if you think even that would be too dangerous then absolutely feel free to disregard and just do your best not to let the things they say get to you. and either way remember that you WILL have your own life away from them someday where you get to be yourself, and it is never ever too late to start transition. no matter how long you have to stay with them to set up your own life, it is out there, and one day you will get to a point where whether they cut you off or not, it doesn't matter. you'll get to choose your own clothes, religion, hair style, makeup, house decorations, food, schedule, the world will be your oyster. so when it gets hard, hold on to that. i believe in u 💕

[silverislander]

can't believe i am queerbaiting my friends and pulling a bury your gays right now irl (dnd ramble)

we’re soon gonna play curse of strahd so our dm can get to play his (amazing very fun and cool) character and one of the others can take a turn dming, so i’m working on backstory for mine recently!  juno is a dhampir warlock, and she’s basically a common language studies professor with some very severe impulse control issues, so i had to write a bit about her past as a professor and her relationship with her colleagues/how she became a dhampir.  i ended up making up her school (a practical school- no magic is taught, just for commoners who’d like to learn some trade skills) and some characters- clem ninomae, the disgraced science prof who accidentally turned her, and keziah guillebeaux, the medicine prof who she’s... close friends with.  the first thing i’ve written for her is set at the university’s winter ball and goes wrong for juno when keziah realizes juno is no longer fully human, and i just wrote it to explore some relationships and opinions really?  but i sent it to the discord bc we share our writing all the time :) and now naturally everyone thinks juno and keziah are together lol

and then i remembered that because juno has the sage background, she gets “a letter from a dead colleague posing a question you have not yet been able to answer”... and it just has to be keziah, doesn’t it.  so the letter asks her what her stopping point is- she’s become inhuman, and then she sold her soul, so what else would she do?  would she kill?  would she die (for real this time)?

but obviously i can’t tell them about all that yet- they’re not supposed to know what the letter is.

so in the end, here’s the story: juno and keziah have been dancing around each other for years.  they’re best friends and even pen pals- keziah takes a lot of trips away since she’s a very gifted healer, and juno writes her from the university where she practically lives- and even though juno makes some impulsive mistakes sometimes, they always work through it and repair their relationship.  before juno decides to try summoning her patron, she sends keziah, who is off on another business trip, a letter alluding to soon doing something she might regret.

and it fucking works, against all her expectations.  she really summons niidaepheles, which was her only goal anyways, and she’s about to close the ritual when he offers her a deal she can’t refuse: serve him with her soul, just a small bit of help every now and again, and he’ll give her access to knowledge beyond anything available on the planes.

like i said,  she can’t refuse.

after that, juno is rightfully freaked out and having a bit of an existential crisis, and, faced with her own mortality, decides that life is just too short to let this pass.  as soon as keziah comes back, she’ll ask her on a real, official date.  she can’t live with not knowing if they could have had something together.

keziah never comes back.  two letters arrive for juno a week after she was supposed to return.  one is a confirmation that the ship keziah was on sank and  states that keziah was one of the confirmed casualties.  the other is a half-written response from keziah herself.  how far will juno go?  does she have a stopping point at all?

they never got their chance together.  in the end, it was always the right place, wrong time.

but all my friends know right now is that juno has a “friend” from back home with a lot of romantic tension, and they’ve run with it and conviced themselves juno and keziah end up together/are at least dating by the start of the campaign.  and i can’t tell them anything otherwise just yet.  and i know this is a bit evil of me, but... what if i play it like juno pretends keziah is still alive?  speaking about her in the present tense, keeping the letter to herself, purposefully avoiding questions about where she is now... i could do that.  and they wouldn’t know until partway through the campaign when it comes out.

so yeah, right now i am acting like a a shitty dramatic television writer and playing with my friends emotions, and god damn am i having fun with it <3

[floralbfs]

kinda depressed abt this semester tbh

[gumdecay]

.

[sleevesareforlosers]

and now my headcanon questions: 1. you've probs talked about this before but in ur long term post-canon (like. snapshot of these guys as Real Adults 10+ years later ) what are vaya and vamos' average days like? 2. do u have any platonic vamos & vinyl headcanons?, and 3. do u have any val/volume/vinyl relationship headcanons? sorry those last two are so open ended I'm just thinking about them ❤️

oh!!!! okay okay okay i love these (and god. i talk so much whoops)

1. vaya ten years down the road still lives in the RadioShack (docs old station) but kind of splits nights between there and xyr girlfriend's place (blessed helen, milf, oc that @dangerdaysofficial and i share). if xes at the shack xe gets woken up by xyr cat(s) and if xes at helens they get woken up by helens kids. xe does broadcasts from the shack mostly but if theres an event happening in the zones (concert, sports game, derby, etc) then xe has a portable station in docs van and goes to them. so yeah xe mostly hangs out, does broadcasts/traffic reports when they happen (much rarer now that like. they arent at war sdkfjs), bugs val and vinyl, xe 'helps' helen in her garden by sitting around and looking pretty and spraying her with a hose when she isnt looking. vayas life postcanon is very much learning how to put down roots and be open and connected with the world around xem

vamos ten years down the road is living in the city, has like. two or three therapy appts a year bc theyve done the Real heavy lifting with like trauma/grief/codependency so now they only have to go when their SAD is acting up or like, yknow, life stresses make things tough. they i think run a like, free store yknow? and it also functions a bit as the nest did in terms of being open housing, a place for people to hang out, vamos loves people and loves helping people so living somewhere thats like, the-nest-but-not-so-destructive is really really good for them. and its very chill as well they get to sleep in and run around the city for fun and host big like. community dinners whenever they want to and ofc they go out of the zones at least once a week to visit vaya and val and vinyl. sometimes the rest of the v's (they still call themselves that but its more of an honorary thing yknow?) come in to visit but vaya is Busy still and going to the city is still kinda hard on vinyl so thats less often. which is ok! vamos does love the zones still they just went to the city to get like. therapy very soon after them n val and vinyl got back from their postcomics roadtrip and by the time theywere like. feeling stable enough to not need super frequent appts and checkups they had roots down in the city and didnt Want to leave. vamos' life postcanon is less about putting down roots and more about finding the balance between independence and community that was hard for them to get while being like. hunted for being a killjoy

2. i have a few but theyre not serious theyre just like. i like rotating them in my mind. vinyl is the only v that Actually knows how to change a lightbulb but vamos is the one that always does it bc vinyl likes to sit back and laugh while vamos climbs up on whoevers shoulders to try and fix things. vamos had been dying their hair before joining the vs ofc but vinyl was the one to suggest that they try pink. they cuddle so much!!! like vamos is already a v physically affectionate person but vinyl LOVES to curl up with them, theyll nap together on couches a lot. also as the two v's that val was most uh. lenient (? chill) with, theyll team up to tease him every now and then (moreso postcanon for obvious reasons) which sometimes looks like vamos putting on what they imagine vinyl's voice would sound like to read whatever he's written in his notebook and sometimes looks like the two of them passing notes and giggling like schoolchildren, tossing the book back and forth over vals head when he tries to grab it, etc. bastards <3 it was vinyls idea for vamos to come on the postcomics roadtrip

3. hm. not romantic hcs but friendship ones for sure!! they were the v's before vaya and vamos joined so there was i think abt two years when it was just the three of them running around, eventually moving into and kinda taking over the nest. volume and val could fight a lot and sometimes vinyl would smack a little sense into them and sometimes hed leave them to work it out but like. most of the time they Did all get along super well (crews love each other!!!) and i mean. sharing beds sharing clothes (val n volume are the same size for binders) making each other food "hey volume i stole u jewelry from the market" "oh val did you hear about the loretta show in zone three i think youd have fun, we should go" "vinyl im doing laundry do you want me to patch up your jumpsuit i know the knees are wearing through" like!!! even if they were bad at um. words and obvious shows of affection or acting like they liked each other sometimes they loved and knew each other really really well and it was obvious in the little things

[smalltragedy]

* brigette lundy-paine, nonbinary + they/them | you know kirby wormwood, right? they’re twenty five, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, two weeks? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to ring ring by mika like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole balancing acts at perilous heights destined to entertain, jack of all trades master of none, refusal to accept the mortal world as it is thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is december 1st, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hllo welcome 2 my third character i love them a lot theyre a. remake of an older oc of mine so this is fun <3 sdfhk anyways once again i am asking u. pleathe like if u wld like to plot.

ARSON TW

mini playlist.

wizard ;; lucas lex / ring ring ;; mika / crows ;; clues / sunrise sunset ;; bright eyes / la llorona ;; beirut / no children ;; the mountain goats / might be love ;; the pesky snakes / sax in the city ;; let’s eat grandma.

statistics.

full name: kirby wormwood (currently).

nickname(s): magpie.

birthday: december 1st, 1995.

zodiac: sagittarius sun, aries moon, libra ascending.

mbti & temperament: estp & improvisor / sanguine.

label: the hellion.

hometown: abilene, texas.

sexuality: bisexual.

pinterest.

biography.

alright lets get right into it. kirby ws switched at birth. they cld’ve hd a very like. picket fence trampoline in the backyard. 4 columns cos its texas n it feels right. bt instead they were chosen <3 somewhat unintentionally <3 by dorothea n fawley wormwood, two traveling circus workers who emergency stopped in abilene.

n u know what. growing up in st. pierre’s traveling circus ws kinda fkn awesome? like ok. besides the fact tht they were homeschooled fr like evr n there were a sparing amt of children 2 socialize with? it ws p cool idk.

it ws kinda like everybody ws their parent n also not at all bc they were all very casual. bt they grew up learning hw 2 maintain the circus (n also like. normal school thingz bt i dnt think kirby hs ever cared abt school like ever) n whenever they hd a show kirby wld facepaint or handle tickets until they were old enough 2 start learning like. the Real fun things. 

fawley hd a lot of his own weird odd little like superstitions n beliefs n practically raised kirby on them like n they dnt rly <3 make a lot of sense. lots of made up philosophy. very much like. nothing defines u. u cn b anything or anyone. n kirby ws like ok cool. n then developed a god complex.

names didnt rly stick 2 kirby when they were a kid like. nothing satisfied them or felt worthy fr them or simply they just. got tired of a name. this isnt related 2 them being nonbinary BUT it did help ease some of the. pressure of exploring gender identity. theyve only hd one name tht stuck genuinely n tht ws magpie n. thts bc everybody hd their own bird name n it felt very. like community. like a role. usually the names they used during performances bt. anyways KFHDSGLKKHL

theyre Kirby bt answers 2 most. neutral nouns.

honestly. they were also a rascal as a youth. ws like. oh. i learned sleight of hand? cool. time 2 pick pockets. wld throw popcorn into the hair of other kids n b like. omggg what was that ... became a mime fr a year. it ws a rigorous training.

now a master of charades. bt anyways. they traveled pretty much weekly, maybe bimonthly n sometimes just pure monthly. there wsn’t an off season fr them, when the colder months came they’d travel south and when summer rolled in they’d go right back up again. it ws easy to switch personas almost daily n just. never reveal ur true self. totally not saying tht’s what kirby did bt thts what they did. it nvr made them lose sight of themselves it ws more like. acting. tricking ppl fr fun. 

anyways all good things come 2 an end and when kirby ws like. 18. they were like hey ur old enough that we cn trust u with fire. we think. n they started 2 learn fire-throwing n like. they were ok at it bt lessons were painfully slow n kirby ws like. i wld b so good at this if i cld do it all the time. n it ws like. hey kirby, chill. u already know a lot of things.

arson tw // u see where this is going. tents are kind of flammable. kirby ws unsupervised. bad decisions all around. circus is aflame. all the animals n all the circus workers got out fine bt like. st. pierre’s ws efficiently out of business. arson end of tw //

n kirby fkn booked it they just. ran. pure fear. nvr looked back which is like super traitorous of them 2 do bt. sometimes they meet up in secret like. sunglasses n all at a coffee shop. not all of them just like. fawley or someone else. theyre like. ur family u cld burn down a thousand circuses n we’d still love u. n kirby is like yeah i know bt i’ve rly committed to the bit now. n they dnt reunite.

anyways. since then kirby hs just been. a traveler. nvr rly staying anywhere fr super long n driving around in their shitty little van tht’d been used as housing back at st. pierre’s.

they’re in irving n theyve been there fr almost. suspiciously long. compared 2 their average stays. when asked abt what they do or why theyre there theyll just. give a vague answer or spin a long tale tht usually involves a burning circus.

theyre staying at uh. abernathy creek rn bc of course they r they fit in so naturally. welcomed with wide arms. might b soul searching rn might b on the hunt fr their birth parents might b just vibing ... whose to say ..

personality & facts.

has a Big personality tht attracts others fr better or fr worse. either super likeable or the most despicable person on the earth. no in betweens. n honestly tht is a talent in itself

has no off button is constantly. spinning tales or performing a dance or getting kicked out of bars fr whatever nonsense reason. 

honestly they prob think tht nothing bad cn ever happen to them even tho like. bad has literally happened 2 them before? love the optimism here. KLFGDLKFSDHGF

acts a bit like u’ve known them fr ur entire life they r oddly warm in tht way bt they themself r so distant tht its like. oh nice ok ...

both honest n yet dishonest like. yes they will hustle u out of ur money bt they will also tell u their opinion straight up. 

probably smart bt they r just like. prime thembo? flowy pirate shirts n cropped tshirts n pants tht r never tight. dresses like they do still work n live at a circus. 

likes 2 instigate things between others n then stand back n just watch it happen while taking like zero accountability. loves a good small town drama. avid milf hunter.

does not hv any faith in the american healthcare system at all n will straight up refuse 2 go 2 a hospital if they get hurt theyre like. i cn do it myself im like practically a professional. they r not a professional. 

bt does hv like. a thing abt apples. fkn loves them. 

uuuhhh cn play instruments bt all very badly. only knows one (1) song tht isnt made up n its wonderwall by oasis. they play it at parties. they expect fr tomatoes to b thrown at them at any given time.

very nimble. agile. granted its frm. learning circus tricks frm a baby age bt they hv impeccable balance n cn sneak up behind anyone without a single noise. uses this 2 their advantage in order 2 scare ppl. chaotic neutral.

loves having the attention on them i wont fk around here. will go to drastic measures to accomplish receiving it. my other muses r capable of taking things srsly bt kirby just. is not. they do not take a single thing srsly they barely even took. st. pierre’s destruction srsly n they caused it. maybe.

likes being able to just. be unknown so the amt tht ppl know abt them is actually very. little. i dnt think they even tell others their last name. sometimes not even their first. just hs so many aliases n nicknames. i know i didnt list any bt thts simply bc Any cld.

probably acts out to compensate fr the. underlying guilt they hv bt thts okay. i mean it isnt bt.

will probably show up if u call them fr help bt they lose interest in people p quickly n r always moving onto the next shiniest person. bt when they do they give them like. all their attention. if u wrong them in this period they will just. ignore it. bt when theyre bored then its like. u werent even friends at all? very odd.

perhaps it is commitment issues bt <3 ya. thts them. they do not claim favorite colors or movies or. most interests. probably bc theyre very very disconnected frm pop culture i think they learn everything thru twitter n google.

i wld not call them a good person bt i also dnt think theyre like evil horrible nasty awful they just. think abt themself a lot more than they think abt others n also refuses to face consequences ever and also .. anyways.

wanted plots.

part of the bird’s nest ;; honorary bird honorary circus member. u hv to be very well regarded by kirby to earn a bird name bt i feel like tht doesnt feel like a lot considering theyve only been here fr like. two weeks KDGDSHKGK. the catch is tht u cn only refer 2 them as magpie frm then forward. 

hand in unlovable hand ;; theres comfort in being terrible ppl together n it may not last bt it doesnt hv to anyways. its just them n the like. vibes. n knowing tht its smth thts nvr gna b long term. cld b anything ur character just hs to be also a little evil. KHDSGFDS

one jester ... wht abt ... TWO jesters .. ;; hoo boy. ooh man. unstoppable force and immovable object combine forces n just become. the worst of the worst. ultimate jokesters. epic pranksters. absolute clowns. chaotic energy unmatched. always nonsense. 

n also ;; ppl they’ve stolen frm, ppl who hv caught them in that act, ppl who’ve maybe seen them in the circus a very long time ago, Found Family Trope, real family shenanigans, kirby just asking everybody if theyre their dad., mortal enemies if they see each other its an instant duel 2 the death, etc.

[ge]

hi so i started playing onmyoji because of you and i wanted to ask if you can give me any tips?? im at level 16 i think im doing well so far but since idk anyone who plays anything would help! sorry for bothering

HEHE YESS ok.. this got rlly long WHOOPS 

so first thing u shld do while ur at a low level is get a mentor.. when i started playing i just fucked around and didnt get a mentor until i was well into lvl 40.. a mentorship is where low lvl (15 to 45 i tihnk..) players can apply for an apprenticeship and level up fast while also getting rewards such as grade darumas and a random ssr once u finish ur apprenticeship.. u can find the mentor application icon in the right side of ur courtyard.. it shld look like this!

while under a mentor u are also lvling up ur friendship which, once it reaches a certain level, it unlocks the co-op feature that u can find by clicking the scroll at the bottom right hand side of ur screen > friends > co-op tab at the bottom right side of the pop up screen... there u can access ur friends powerful shikigami that u can use a limited amount of times daily to beat hard chapters/evo/soul zones, etc etc... if ur looking for a mentor i recently finished an apprenticeship w someone so im free to help out if ur interested ^__^ (my user is @.sneer [all lowercase] if u didnt already know hehe)

join a guild if you havent already! i tihnk it prompts you to join a guild when u first start playing i dont rmbr but a couple things to rmbr.. one. if ur guild has ‘15gq’ ‘100gq’ in its notice, gq means guild quest and u like.. HAVE to do those or else theyll kick u from the guild.. u can find the guild quests by going to ur guild, clikcing the shrine tab on the bottom right, and where it says GROUP QUESTS thats it! usually theyre basic things like submit grade four souls or evo materials but u shld definitely stack up on evo materials and souls so u dont run out.. so if ur guild says 100+gqs.... i wld suggest leaving that guild for a lighter gq guild.. 100+gq guilds are like.. big bad guilds who wanna rank in the top ten soo save urself the trouble.... TWO. ur realm! ur realm comes w ur guild so if ur kicked u cant access ur realm :( i think u already know what ur realm is and what it does so i will just say .. fuse ur low level realm cards.. SAVE UR DRUMS REALM CARDS.. if its a 1*, fuse it but if its 3*+... save that bad boy..

speaking of jade... SAVE IT.. jade and mystery talismans r like GOLD.. theyre rlly easy to get in the beginning of the game but they start getting super scarce when ur lvling up and r completing achievements.. usually when u get ten mystery amulets or 1k jade ur gonna think “oh what if i get an ssr out of this summon ooh” YOU WILL NOT.. this game HATES ur ass it hates u so much it hates ME it hates EVERYONE except lvl 60s who get new ssrs and shit on their first summon... ennieway.. random chance up events r stupid scams but chance up events featuring new shikigami are not... like the one thats going on right now for sp aoandon.. these r good events... random chance up events coming up out of no where is just netease being like ‘buy more jade we want ur money ugly idiot... stupid lmao’.. so yeah hoard ur amulets and jade AH ALSO IN THE MALL go to the mall and go to GENERAL.. youll see a package that says smth like 5 daily jade or smth that costs 666 jade.. BUY THAT itll give u 5 jade daily everyday.. it also stacks up so if ur not online for a couple days u wil be swimming in it baby...

oh god what else... click ur scroll on the bottom right and at the end next to collection youll see a tab that says TEAM.. thats a very useful helpful tab bc if u ever need help or want to join in on someone elses team for loot this is where u go.. when i started playing and i was farming for hiyoribo shards i always went to the system chat and clicked rlly fast on the hiyoribo shard zone hoping i cld get in ... i did that up until i was in my lvl 40s .. ur prbly smarter than me and alreayd know abt this tab but just felt like i needed to mention it just in case.........

SHARDS... if u get enough shards u can form a summoning pact w that shikigami.. demon seals are little side quests that pop up after youve completed a chapter/exploration and they come up randomly with a handful of different shikigami... but you can also access all of the demon seals from the TEAM tab i mentioned above.... demon seals only have a handful of shikigami though not all of them so dont expect to see like ssr demon seals lol also  some of the shikis u can farm from demon seals are VERY good.. ill touch on this later.. DEMON PARADE is another good way to collect shards.. in ur courtyard, click the town sign and the demon parade sign shld be the first thing u see! demon parade, unlike the demon seals, are chance thing, u might get the shards u want or u might not.. its kinda stupid... throwing beans around and shit.. itll give u a lineup of three shiki that u can choose from, if u hit the shiki u picked u get extra shards.. u might see some shiki in the parade w little lanterns over their heads, that just means they give more shards too nothing special

SHIKIGAMI... when ur looking at all of ur rare and sr shikigami ur probably thinking “this sucks these r all USELESS i want ssrs and sps >:(” well akchually... some of the best shiki in the game (for beginners especially) are rares and srs... shouzu (r), kamaitachi (sr), and hiyoribo (sr), are all farmable shikigami u can get from demon seals, if u havent summoned them already! yamausagi, a shiki u will see a LOT, is also a very easily summonable shiki so dont throw her away.. if u have duplicates of the same shiki u can PROMOTE THEM and it will level up one of their skills, just like a skill daruma! (DONT waste ur skill darumas they are soo valuable.. only use them on the shiki u use the most and want to lvl up skills on).. lvling up the skills on ur shiki increases their power and adds perks and makes them over all.. very sexy..

EDIT: added in this list of easy farmable beginners shikigami that u want to keep and build (refer to list BENEATH this one for list of roles)

kujira (sr) support

yamausagi (r) puller

shouzu (r) unique/shield **DEMON SEAL**

hiyoribo (sr) healer/revive **DEMON SEAL**

kusa (r) healer/dps

samurai x (r) cc

momo (sr) healer/revive

ushi no toki (r) unique

kamikui (r) pusher

oitsuki (sr) orbs

komatsu (sr) cc

kamaitachi (sr) puller **DEMON SEAL**

all shikigami have a certain role and its very important u know which shiki is which bc sometimes if u use them wrong u can mess up ur entire team.. here are all of the roles and some shiki examples:

dps: dps stands for ‘damage per second’ but it can also be used as a noun to describe a shikigami that is damage focused (ex. kuro mujou, momiji, hangan, mio)

cc: stands for ‘crowd control’. ccs have the ability to limit the number of enemies actively fighting during an encounter giving u the advantage (ex. enma, yuki onna, yumekui, samurai x)

pusher: pushes the enemies move bar back, giving u the advantage of going first (ex. kamikui)

puller: basically the same thing as pusher. pulls the ally move bar forward (ex. kamaitachi, yamausagi)

shield: shiki that provides a shield of some sort to protect allies without the use of souls (ex. ichimokuren, shiro)

heal: self explanatory (ex. sakura, hana)

revive: healer types with the ability to revive players w a cooldown. not all healers are revives (ex. hiyoribo, momo)

support: self explanatory.. supports allies (ex. miketsu, kujira, bake-kujira)

unique: shiki w unique abilities that cant be placed under labels (ex. hakuzosu, ushi no toki)

orbs: shiki that supply orbs to ur team (ex. aoandon, zashiki, oitsuki)

counter: shiki that counters after an enemy attack (ex. mannendake, vampire)

AND FINALLYYYYYY how to build ur shiki... while doing explorations u get free little souls.. in the beginning this will be ok since ur just starting off but actually each shiki has a perfect soul that makes them work the best.. now there are too many souls for me to actually list so as a parting gift to this entirely too long onmyoji cheat sheet, i will leave u this SHIKIGAMI BUILD GUIDE made by the nura clan.. it lists EVERY shikigami w the perfect soul for them, what role they play, and how to build them.. i touched on their roles a little bit above but i cldnt list everything so heres this.. i use it like everyday when building new shiki its sooo helpful

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1zZoMPfuA1plomt6Kq077Q9CZ3mD_0ThYzF_tIUyf28M/edit#gid=824193257

ANYWAY.. I TIHNK IM DONE.. I HOPE THIS WASNT A COMPLETE UNINTELLIGIBLE MESS... if u need clarification for anything pls ask i feel like i mashed up a bunch of words together and called it a day.. ummmm so yeah :) theres probably..... stuff... i might be missing but if theres smth specific u want to know about JUST ASK!!!!!!!!! im always looking for new omj friends...

[fluffyheretic]

I’m so fucking tempted to say “every single question with Kazushuu or Hitoshuu (except for the nsfw ones i guess)” But I don’t want to singlehandedly kill you

ok let’s do it

as a side note sometimes the answer is the same or similar for both ships just bc shuu is uh. the same person. but ofc not always

under cut for lengthhhh

1. Who makes the first move and how?

hitoshuu: normally im gonna say definitely hitori. he probably decides to be direct and just straight up ask. in iwasweetie au specifically tho i want it to be sweetie if only bc i need to make him get over his shit. he also asks “directly” but it actually involves a lot of stuttering and beating around the bush so it ends up not being very direct

shuukazu: im not sure if it would really be one of them specifically, i can see them as the “this kind of just happened” couple. maybe kazuaki is the one after several months whos like “so um… what are we…. lol………..”

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

hitoshuu: shuu, not that hitori is the paragon of confidence but shuus like “wtf hes the ideal young man and im Bastard Supreme but ok i guess”

shuukazu: BOTH LMAO but kazu is more vocal abt it and shuu is the Bottle Up EVERYTHING type

some good ol body positivity cuddle sessions work in both cases

3. Who is the most romantic?

anyone but shuu for obvious “i dont even know what feelings ARE” reasons

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

again anyone but shuu for obvious “i dont even know what intimacy IS” reasons but specifically hitori is just more confident and kazuaki isnt necessarily confident but is more just. shameless

5. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

not shuu for similar reasons as above. there’s a trend here, you see

6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome?

THIS is a CHRISTIAN blog

7. What do they get up to on a night out?

hitoshuu: going to dinner at a place thats nice but not TOO nice. like good comfortable atmosphere and good food but not posh

shuukazu: they probably just wander around, maybe go shopping, kazuaki keeps pointing out stuff he wants and dr iwamine “i dont know what to do with my money bc i dont want for material things” shuu just buys it for him. shuu please stop enabling him. stop it.

8. What do they like in bed?

hitoshuu: cuddling :)

shuukazu: snuggling :)

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

i feel like shuu considers every single new couple-y thing he does to be the new most embarrassing thing he’s done. we’re holding hands? embarrassing. i kissed you? god now THATS embarrassing. you caught me wearing your sweater that you accidentally left at my place? well put me in the fucking ground thats literally the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to anybody. how dare i show sentimentality. despicable

kazuaki is similar in that he’s constantly one-upping himself and getting a NEW most embarrassing thing but his things include stuff like getting caught watching really strange anime and scream-singing pop songs and anime OPs in the shower

hitori probably like tripped on the sidewalk once

10. What two songs, two books and two luxury items do they take to a desert island?

these questions are difficult bc man idk what media exists in 2188 bird japan

11. What do they hide from one another?

in both cases shuus answer is “just about everything” hes terrified of the mortifying ordeal of being known. pretty much everything you learn about him has to be squeezed out

hitori hides how troubled he really is because he wants to seem like the responsible one everyone can depend on so that they dont have to worry about him. he does his best to hide when hes struggling but since shuu has that exact same impulse they pretty quickly start to see through each other, but are also very understanding about it.

kazuaki probably doesnt have as much to hide but he might be shy about portraying how REALLY in love with shuu he is too soon because he doesnt want to scare him away. he also hides the weirder shows and games and stuff that hes into lol

12. What first changes when it starts getting serious?

hitoshuu: i can see them having that kind of relationship where at first its casual and almost competitive in a way, like a “i think youre sexy and the only thing i know to do about it is see what i can do to make you flustered, then act smug when i succeed” thing. but over time when the novelty of that starts to wear off they both kinda realize they just straight up like each other and start being more genuine and soft.

shuukazu: again its a similar thing with shuu where he starts feeling more comfortable with letting himself be a little more genuine and START opening up. kazuaki picks up on this as a good sign and starts to worry less about trying to impress shuu and more just enjoying their time together.

13. When do they realize they should get together?

this is another one that i think is a similar answer in both cases, at least for shuu’s part he has a “dammit. i cant lose him” moment. since hes a person of very few words he tries to communicate “i want us to be serious” via letting down his walls a little bit, which hitori/kazuaki hopefully notice is happening and then are like “oh maybe we can work”

14. When one has a cold, what does the other do?

for shuu and hitori its “responsibly take care of you, bc its what i should do but also secretly i get STRESSED AS FUCK when someone i care about is sick so i gotta make sure youre okay”

for kazuaki its “take care of you, although i dont really know what im doing, also i thought since youre bedridden we could cuddle but its not as enjoyable as i wanted so like I’m Here but also im gonna watch tv okay? ill get u crackers and ginger ale”

15. When they watch a film what do they choose and why? Who gets the final vote?

hitoshuu: shuu’s gonna say he doesn’t care, but hitori also doesn’t really care so eventually he’ll get shuu to admit that he’d like to watch a nature documentary. especially if it’s marine-themed. hitori likes that too so hey there you go

shuukazu: shuu WILL watch the 76th pokemon movie OR ELSE

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

hitoshuu: both are cutthroat bastards that do anything it takes to keep each other safe. their reliance and trust in each other is probably 99% of what keeps them going.

shuukazu: again shuus gonna do literally anything it takes to keep kazuaki safe, but to be real i dont know if kazuaki is making it out of this one. and if he doesnt then shuus not either.

17. When they find a time machine, where do they go?

shuu’s answer is going to be at various points in prehistory to study organisms that are now long-extinct (side note god thats definitely my answer too). his bf is worried abt the dangers but comes with him to make sure he doesn’t get into trouble.

i think hitori might not have anything specific in mind but going to historical sites in their heydays seems like a good choice.

since kazuaki likes literature he’d probably want to see historical stuff related to that, like seeing shakespeare plays when they first came out and meeting his favorite dead authors to ask them questions.

18. When they fight, how do they make up?

hitoshuu: hitori doesn’t like to dance around that kind of thing, after a little time has passed for them to both think about it then he’ll just be direct and say “hey lets talk about that thing that happened” if he feels he was in the wrong then he’ll then follow that up with an apology. i can see hitori being a little grudgy but then quickly getting tired of it and just wanting things to be resolved. shuu hates talking things out because hes bad at it but he knows its best so he’ll just try to explain how he felt at the time but also what he’s considered since then. even if he’s not good at explaining himself, hitori is good at understanding him anyway so they usually work it out pretty quickly.

shuukazu: they can be messier since kazuaki gets really emotional really quickly and sometimes says things he doesnt mean. theyre both bad at dealing with it afterwards though until after a few awkward days, kazuaki cant take it and is like “waaa i dont want us to be fighting anymore 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺” and shuus like “ok.” because yeah he’ll take the easy way out. they could probably improve their communication tbh

19. Where do they go on their first date?

hitoshuu: they probably decide to do something simple and casual to make it less awkward so they just get coffee. shuu feels like, from what he knows, that he should be expecting hitori to make a move on him. hitori doesnt because he wants to be considerate of shuus comfort level, but shuu takes it as a sign of disinterest. luckily shuu realizes hes wrong about that when hitori quickly invites him on Another date where they take a stroll in the park, and thats when hitori goes in for the tactical hand-hold maneuver.

shuukazu: kind of the opposite of hitoshuu in that they dont really declare it officially as a date. kazuaki just asks shuu if he wants to see a movie with him, not really calling it a date but kind of implying it to be one. shuu probably doesnt care about the movie but thinks this might possibly maybe be a date so he should go. kazuaki then uses it as a chance to Put On The Movies, as awkward as that might be, including the classic “stretch with my arms up and then let one down over your shoulders” move. shuu doesnt really know how to indicate his own interest in response but hopes the fact that hes also not complaining in any way gives a hint. despite it not REALLY being an official date at the time, later on theyll look back on it and decide that yeah that was their first date.

20. Where do they go on holiday?

shuu hates taking time off work, but if he must, then he’ll be content as long as theres something scientifically interesting there like a museum or an aquarium.

hitori doesnt really mind where they go, hes just grateful to get to go on holiday at all, so he’ll let shuu pick. and again, that’s going to be somewhere with a natural history museum, probably a very nice one and they’ll both enjoy it.

kazuaki is similar in that he’s just happy to be there but his ideal holiday destination is probably just…. akihabara. so shuu relents and goes there with him occasionally. kazuaki does like to visit aquariums with shuu though! they do both

21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?

hitoshuu: the cemetery, at least at first when they arent used to being that vulnerable in front of each other

shuukazu: well shuu sure as shit is nervous about going to anime cons with kazu

22. Where does their first kiss happen?

in both cases, definitely at one of their homes, because shuus too much of a wreck to have a moment like that in a public place.

for shuukazu, i picture it that theyre just hanging out at kazuakis place and relaxing, and they end up cuddling a lot, and kazuaki kisses him kind of impulsively. hes then very apologetic about it before shuu manages to assure him that its fine.

hitoshuu, maybe hitori walks shuu home after a date and goes for the classic end of date goodbye kiss, but just on the cheek. then when once again hitori has walked shuu home, shuu wonders if he should expect a real kiss this time, but hitori goes for the cheek again. shuus disappointed and grabs hitoris sleeve before he turns away because he doesnt know how to say he wants more. but hitori takes the hint and kisses him for real this time.

23. Where is their favorite place to be together?

in both cases it’s at home, because shuu finds it much easier to be intimate when they’re in privacy. i think all three of them really appreciate just getting to relax together.

24. Where do they first have sex?

what did i say about this being a christian blog

25. Why do they fight?

usually its because shuu said something a little too tactless. hes not so clueless that he’ll say something really obviously offensive, but sometimes he really doesn’t know what’s too much. but his bf is hopefully understanding of this and corrects him Still Firmly but still with some “but i know you didnt mean it like that, we’re okay” way, because chances are he really didnt.

for hitoshuu specifically, hitori has to be on shuu about eating properly and can sometimes get kind of annoyed about it. shuus kneejerk reaction is to then be offended because hes an adult who can take care of himself. but they calm down and make up when shuu remembers that hitori just worries for him, and hitori remembers that shuu doesnt not eat just to spite him.

for shuukazu, i can see kazuaki’s lack of responsibility and aloofness start to get on shuu’s nerves, and when he brings it up kazuaki thinks he’s just being mean. again, similarly to hitoshuu, they get over it when kazuaki reminds himself that shuu wants him to be able to take care of himself, and shuu reminds himself as well that he can be too abrasive and should work on it.

26. Why do they need to have a serious chat?

hitoshuu: they dont have to right away but over time it would be good for them to be honest abt their respective traumas and the shit theyre dealing with instead of hiding it

shuukazu: similar, shuu should probably get around to being more open abt his shit. they might also want to have a talk abt what a serious relationship is gonna look like for them

27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them?

hitoshuu: i answered this already! but again, its bc theyre so ~responsible~

shuukazu: ppl either see kazuaki being super clingy and think “man hes so overbearing, his poor partner 😒” or see shuu being emotionless and think “man theyre so cold, their poor boyfriend 😒” actually they gotta mind their own damn business

28. Why do they get jealous?

hitoshuu: i feel like hitori actually gets hit on a pretty decent amount. shuu is never happy about it, but the death glares he starts sending usually scare the person off anyway

shuukazu: both of them think the other is too good for them so if anyone looks at them with even a little too much interest the other is immediately like “well i guess this is it”

29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love?

hitoshuu: little moments shuu loves is when hitori asks him how he is, how he slept. when he makes him dinner. hitori loves when shuu looks deep in thought, tucks his hair behind his ear, and he definitely likes to see him get along with nageki, which he does.

shuukazu: shuu loves when kazuakis eyes light up with excitement when he sees something he likes, especially when shuu realizes that hes one of those things too. he also loves kazuakis really nice hugs, especially when shuu just woke up from a nightmare. kazuaki loves how shuu listens to him intently, and asks questions about the things hes interested in, and sometimes rests his hand on him when hes getting tired.

30. Why does it work (or not work) between them?

hitoshuu: both are important figures in each other’s lives, obv shuu helped nageki but also hitori is probably the first person to get even a little close to shuu after ryuuji died. theyre both just pockets of trauma but are doing their best so it would be good for them to support each other and try to heal. theyre both pretty dependable so when the going gets tough they’re each other’s rocks

shuukazu: theyre definitely the “it will never work” couple that ends up working anyway. shuu might think kazuaki is annoying at first but if ryuuji is any indication shuu definitely seems to gravitate towards people who are more chill and even a little silly, and when shuu realizes that kazuaki isnt as dumb as he makes himself seem that helps a lot. for kazuaki shuu definitely has a ~mysterious~ aspect that draws him in initially but when it wears off as he learns more about shuu, instead of the magic being gone he just starts finding him more relatable and endearing so their relationship actually improves.

[galimatios]

fear thy fortune chatlog notes

thinking abt the underdeveloped au i have in that weird off color fantasy universe that i realized is probably similar in ways to bloodborne even before i knew abt bloodbornes plot but this is nice bc i can solidify parts of it and i can probably also combine it with the knights au i have

OK I FORGOT TO PUT A CW HERE BUT CW FOR ABUSE MENT AND GORE MENT

somewhere located in present day west asia slash east europe theres a country divided into numerous states in which princes and princesses (princex (poc)/princen/etc for gender neutral options) are perpetually in contest with eachother for the right to be the divine ruler of the country

monarchy is not guided by blood, rather the church is responsible for finding the chosen candidates via prophecy, fururesight, dream interpretation, etc, and these kids are taken from their homes and reared as royalty the nature of this country is ... severe. pain is a gift, proof that one is alive. much ceremony is based in sacrifice, bloodspill, bloodsports, and pain endurance. magic as practiced by the church is extremely powerful in terms of healing so almost all wounds can be healed provided the heart still beats its essentially one big huge freakish cult of a country that has customs that seem barbaric to outsiders

the divine ruler of each state is the princens, though more often than not their councils do most of the governing with the princen merely being a puppet figurehead. they go through rigorous training to sharpen their minds and endurance against all types of pain, so training includes physical, mental, emotional trials in which the princen is supposed to keep a clear mind, concentrate on mediation or some mantra, bearing whatever is thrown at them. additionally they receive the best training in both combat and politics as well as magic. not all princen can withstand the requirements ofc so they.. vary quite a bit in terms of stability/constitution. its a p sick system even without the knights added in bc thats super messed up

the knights essentially belong to their princens in heart body mind and soul, and each princen receives exactly one knight soulbound to them. they also undergo the same scouting process once the princen is identified, and they undergo similar training except theyre also essentially brainwashed into believing their entire purpose in life is to serve and protect their princen no matter what. obviously this aint healthy! knights delude themselves into it so hard theyll fight for the system that literally abuses them! but thats how cults work

that being said knights are extremely powerful. they act as the sole bodyguard of their princen and believe me you dont want to get inbetween a knight and their prince. they are known especially for their brutality when their lords are threatened. it is extremely common for limbs to be lost in skirmishes btwn assailants and a knight

this takes us to the games! which are essentially gladiator coliseum type bloodsport contests between knights of different princens. its a pretty big affair like how the Olympics are for us so the fanfare the cheering the everything is all there i prob dont need to describe it in detail but its very violent. its considered practice for the knights before the true battle-royale type event thats even BIGGER bc it determines who becomes god-king of the country. this time the princen join their knights in the battlefield and basically whoever is left standing is the new king

is it worth it? probably not bc i think being king actually means being killed to be sent up to the heavens bc god kings dont need bodies any longer in truth the entire debacle is a distraction set up by the church to keep the country under its own control. its super corrupt. the council behind every princen is actually made up of high ranking church members that convene regularly to manipulate the politics of the region

but thats mostly the governing sphere of this world. the commonfolk are removed from most of this violence aside from the indoctrination by the church and the messed up religion they practice. a lot of the belief system here relies on this concept of karma and fate over free will. fate is oppressive, cannot be changed, but god do they try that belief ties into how princen and knights are fated to be pairs, how princen are fated to either ascend to godhood or die trying

but there is one way to manipulate fates in this world there exists in independent of the church a monastery that practices the art of transferring karma. think of karma as a type of currency that can be spent, saved, used, etc. lots of good karma may be distributed amongst loved ones via a ritual headed by a monk, or bad karma can be "paid off" essentially. the amount of good/bad karma a person has directly affects their fortune and luck. this practice is more or less outlawed by the church but the monastery is slowly gaining power over the commonfolk and the church mostly leaves the poor folk to rot anyway- their agenda mostly concerns the monarchy

altho i can definitely see tensions rising with the witch hunting as influenced by the church. particularly nefarious visions may result in blame being thrown around and commoners getting killed for crimes they have yet to commit and thats thanks to the teachings of the church

anyway as of rn though the monastery is still pretty small but it is an old, ancient organization with magic that runs far deeper than the magic of the church. it is a much more subtle magic- monks practice little offensive magic (they are a nonviolent sort anyway) but the ability to exchange karma is rare and has far more reaching impact in the long run i imagine they have strongholds further to the east but anyway theres one trump card the monastic order has

a subsection of the order is dedicated to the keeping of miracles. and miracles are... monsters! they are semi-physical manifestations of literal suffering and the sheer emotional energy provided by them is enough to give miracles the power to.. well. perform miracles.

when a person dies in anguish, there is a chance that their bodies will not decompose the way they are meant to. instead they slowly dissipate, bodies turning coal black and ashen to the touch. these cannot be disposed of the normal way (curses, contamination, all kinds of horrible things happen) so instead these corpses get locked up inside brick cells within the monastery

once, one of these was opened only to reveal that the bodies were gone- only a humming, massive shadow that seemed to move as if made of flies or soot combined. and it spoke, too. this was the first miracle created it was discovered then that these creatures had immense power but could not leave the rooms they were imprisoned in, touch sunlight, and similarly they could not die

imagine like the witchs nightmares in pmmm and you get what its like to be a soul trapped in a miracle. u get to relive ur worst fears and regrets forever. it suck miracles also cannot direct their powers towards their own will, only the will of others. ofc they are still monsters and exact a price for their services, whatever it may be.

a meeting with a miracle does not come cheap or without consequence, bc although miracles can be performed, karma always rebalances itself in the end. monks tasked with guarding and curating the miracles are called gatekeepers and are often someone close to one of the souls trapped in the vortex anyway i think thats the basics of everything in there... i got an au w cyrus as a prince and alex as his knight and instead of sticking around for their inevitable deaths the pair run off into the countryside far far away

actually i think something went wrong in the ceremony. cyrus and alex win godkingship of then... something goes wrong. probably the whole die-to-ascend thing is a secret kept from the princen and the public and. alex does a thing a knight should not do a refuses to let the ceremony continue. and im p sure as soon as cyrus learns of the truth hes like haha well fuck that

then they spend the rest of their days actually experiencing what life is like outside of a freakish cult and my fucking feels

i think.. meanwhile the monastic order grows in influence and power making them the enemy of the church... and jonah (yonah in this au) sacrifices himself to the miracle containing his brother in order to give the miracle a corporal form. which means august and company now have a physical conduit for all that power they had.

bad news for the church! bc august was unrightfully killed bc of a prophecy saying that hed become a huge threat and a killer

funny how prophecies work!

so now hes out for blood and he probably uses his own charisma and power to stage a coup against the church and basically the country goes to hell and i think at this point cyrus thinks. i got out of there alive. i need to do something about this. so he and alex probably join in and become arbiters of the game esp since cyrus and alex were probably the best synced, most skilled prince/knight duo the church had seen up to that date so theyre very powerful. ofc theyre still only two people so i really wonder how theyll step in btwn these two opposing parties

augusts side isnt good either bc august... is only out for revenge and self interest. he has no interest in fixing the country or helping anyone in fact once august is firmly seated on the throne of power he probably declares himself god-king anyway the end game probably looks like augusts body (which is jonahs body) being destroyed and the miracle contained in it finally put to rest jonahs soul must have something to do with the exorcism process- theyve tried to exorcise miracles before and only ended up upsetting it into violent outbursts anyway thats enough rambling from me time to paste this all into a blog post

god what if august picked keith to be his knight. thats messed up. keiths so easy to manipulate and hed be such a wildcard of a knight. he has more magic potential than alex and hes faster on his feet. im imagining bloodlust frenzy almost hyena-like behavior. also i mostly just want to see keith being violent and evil and i have an outfit in mind that would look great with a little splash of red

think like minimalistic ouji but like all black and keith with knives and serving a clearly twisted (even more than usual bc of the miracle’s influence) august

god even better the aftermath of augusts death TIME FOR THE FUCKING FEELS TO KICK IN BC now Keith has no purpose/he FAILED to protect his king WHICH WAS HIS ONLY PURPOSE IN LIFE then alex coming in with cy and just no, you have inherent worth. what happened wasn't right im upset this is how alex and keith become family in this au

miracles i think in this case are definitely more of a means to an end i think narratively ie jonahs brother being killed and augusts soul being trapped within it- tho i think its a good tie-in into how the severe paranoid cultish way the society works ends up producing a lot of People Dying In Extreme Anguish

almost a buildup of sickness so to say.. a plague of the soul that's a cool avenue to go down tbh the idea that miracles are more like viruses spreading misfortune in the long run for some quick gain in this life but bc karma always collects her debts if i throw in some nice reincarnation that would effectively damn someone in their next life... that implies that this story may need to expand across different generations

mechanics being so much bullshit has happened in this country it houses multiple miracles whereas elsewhere its like one, or none, very few in their histories except possibly during wartime and famine

since magic is Exists in this it makes sense that the emotional energy combined w ambient energy would manifest in some kind of grotesque Being

oh no thats maybe why the church is manipulating things by purposely generating that emotional trauma in its society its producing unprecedented amounts of energy they can utilize as magic power oh  no thats super bad august would definitely take advantage of that bc hed definitely figure the truth out once hes back to being alive

im upset bc i think they use princens and knights to specifically create emotional energy

energy released upon death which typically happens after a knight/prince duo has been chosen... then the resulting STRONG ass char plague on their bodies are collected to make artifacts? yes

gems created from the ashen plague are embedded into a huge mandala that actually ... is the god-king itself

[kyohiba]

Xue Yang’s 420 Punishing Reincarnations AU

REINCARNATION AU

but who is he if he doesnt ruin it all tho

ssyifpfff🌙 OH YES

35m 34 minutes ago yeeting patriarch he ruins some stuff but not on the Did Everything Wrong & Ruined Everything level like he did

he could reincarnate n still find song lan bc hes..... basically immortal now

ssyifpfff🌙 n he helps heal xxcs n a-qins soul

34m 33 minutes ago yeeting patriarch like? mass murder of a sect over his pinky? Ok. using the goodness of xiao xingchen and breaking his soul beyond repair?? Too Much

ssyifpfff🌙 yea tht sect was full of dicks tbh but xxc was Angel

33m 33 minutes ago YES

what about xue yang paying off with some reincarnations

with each of them, he learns something

yeeting patriarch and pays for what he did and starts to Realize

ssyifpfff🌙 SLOW BURN CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ASDFGHJK

32m 31 minutes ago yeeting patriarch in all those reincarnations, he meets painful ends

ssyifpfff🌙 in one of them he goes blind

32m 31 minutes ago but each makes him Learn And Pay

HOLD UP

and then, in the one where he manages to help song lan with the souls of xxc and a-qing

his next one, where the three meet again song lan

HES BLIND

hes still pretty much a petty grudge holding chaotic bastard little shit but with no murder or scheming

but his pay offs didnt end

yeeting patriarch with xxc and a-qing back, he still gotta pay off for what he did

ssyifpfff🌙 once he helps rebuild their souls they should b able to reincarnate too, n they can find each other u___u

29m 28 minutes ago xue yang: *reincarnates again* ayyy wassup song lan song lan: song lan: There We Go Again

wait i think people shouldn't have their past life memories right

yeeting patriarch BUT XUE YANG GETS THEM AS A PART OF HIS PUNISHMENT !?

xue yang in every reincarnation: ah shit here we go again

YES HE NEEDS TO AS PUNISHMENT

WHO PUNISHES HIM??? WE DO

ssyifpfff🌙 GET FUCKED XUE YANG LMAO

26m 25 minutes ago IFENSKSITNESOZFWJKSHS

yeeting patriarch xue yang we love u but u DESERVE

BITCHES GET STITCHES

in one of his reincarnations he trusts some1 n they betray him by killing him

in another one he is born into a loving family but they all get murdered

ssyifpfff🌙 dam thts a lot of years of damage if hes gonna rmmbr them all lmao

23m 22 minutes ago ssyifpfff🌙

22m 21 minutes ago IGEBEKIDTVEKSOZGBSLSUGWKS

It's What He Deserves

it's all for him to Learn

yeeting patriarch learn to accept his punishment, learn about the wrongdoings he did...

ssyifpfff🌙 learn to love back u_u and to accept kindness

20m 19 minutes ago learn to forgive n move on

"i have nvr in my life yelled at a girl like this. whn my mama yell at me its bc she love me. i was rooting for u we were all rooting for u hOW D

ssyifpfff🌙 LEARN FROM THIS"

19m 18 minutes ago the reincarnation he finally meets xiao xingchen again and a-qing he holds grudges like a normal person. and it's just ur average tsundere

yeeting patriarch we cannot wipe out completely the chaotic bastard essence he has

ssyifpfff🌙 DO THEY RECOGNIZE HIM???

18m 17 minutes ago OH MY GOD

yeeting patriarch DO THEY

mayb its like those AUs where they DONT exactly but

they Know theres some1 in there they met once

theres a familiarity

ssyifpfff🌙 he Knows its them tho

17m 16 minutes ago yeeting patriarch it would be Too Cruel for xiao xingchen to remember him...

TRUUUU

GASP Maybe to help xxc n a-qins soul he has to give up his own

ssyifpfff🌙 i mean, give his life

16m 15 minutes ago so they only get that Familiarity Vibe

maybe some fragmented dreams

yeeting patriarch FUKC

ssyifpfff🌙 YESSSS DREAMS

15m 15 minutes ago then, after he gives his own life to help xxc and a-qings souls

the next reincarnation

where the three are all born again

yeeting patriarch he Finally doesnt remember all his past lives

THEY JUST FEEL FAMILIAR TO EACH OTHER

ssyifpfff🌙 Y A S

14m 7 minutes ago there is still stuff for him to go through

he finally paid off most of his punishment

yeeting patriarch THE STRINGS OF FATE BRING THEM TOGETHER

ssyifpfff🌙 oooOOOOOOOH

13m 6 minutes ago yeeting patriarch im so sorry for song lan tho boi deserves his Rest & Fresh New Reincarnation too :(

maybe this time he has to Work to be loved. whn he met xxc he was just accepted w/o question. this time he needs to earn love

yea............. idk how it would work w a fierce corpse

guess he would have to Perish first

oH MAYBE

bc theres 2 souls to heal (xxc and a-qin) there needs to be 2 sacrifices

ssyifpfff🌙 thus song lan needs to Perish n then he can re enter the reincarnation circle

11m 4 minutes ago yeeting patriarch I NEED TO COPY, PASTE & EDIT THIS WHOLE CONVO. WE CANNOT LET THIS AU BE LOST IN OUR DMS

DO IT NYARI SAFE GUARD IT

ssyifpfff🌙 N USE IT TO CONVERT PPL INTO XUE YANG CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AU

9m 2 minutes ago WE ARE AT IT AGAIN BEING DOGS

GODS******

yeeting patriarch quite literally being gods and doing what we want with the characters fates

DOGS

the only dog here is xue yang lmao

ssyifpfff🌙 if we dont, whos gonna do it????

4m 6 seconds ago OH ALSO

in all those punishing reincarnations, xue yang has quite a short lifespan

yeeting patriarch he never lives up his 30s

he has to die at more or less the same age as in his first go

so yea not to his 30s

ssyifpfff🌙 "he has to die" lmao sorry boi.............

3m 4 seconds ago how old was xue yang again

hes quite young right

yeeting patriarch on his 20s

ssyifpfff🌙 :/ im not sure

2m yeeting patriarch let's make it up he wont reach the 30s and it's ok

YEA LMAO

tbh idk the ages of any of the characters

only jin ling

ssyifpfff🌙 n sizhui

57s yeeting patriarch going thru the 20s only so many times is some punishment ksjdhgfshdj

LMAO TBH

WE RLY MAKING HIM GO THRU HIS TEENAGE YEARS N THN HIS 20S N THTS IT

ssyifpfff🌙 thts the cruelest thing we ever done

OH

yknow The Final Reincarnation

xxc, song lan and a-qing have this sense xue yang is Familiar

xue yang does as well

but hes the only one who gets the most fragmented dreams

the others get fragmented blurred light memories in dreams

this makes them Question xue yang

and thus this time he has to Work to have their affection

mostly xxc's, ofc

with song lan and a-qing it'll be a bit of a cat and dog frenemies thingy

yeeting patriarch (xue yang as the cat, ofc)

frenemies is all he has lmao + xxc

song lan.......................................... he wont rmmbr righgt¿

asdfghjfhg the fragments he gets are gonna be abt him n xxc too

ssyifpfff🌙 thts gonna Hurt

1m 10 seconds ago YESSSSSSSSSSS

all of them are Clean of Full Past Memories

yeeting patriarch but FATE will bring them all together (modern setting au)

song lan we will find u love this time around

10m 50 seconds ago xxc, song lan and a-qing will all get all the good stuff

only xue yang will still go thru some Missions

well.

if we will have poly xxc with song lan and xue yang

song lan will get some Punishment by default GSDHJFOISU9DYFGHJDS

it's okay, xue yang will be 69x times better this life around, so

he will only have to up with xue yangs dramatic ass in the name of love for xxc

yeeting patriarch i mean back then he did leave xxc and only came back yeeeaaars later in Regret

ssyifpfff🌙 ACTUALLY UR RIGHT HE MESSED UP TOO

6m yeeting patriarch enduring an updated and polished xue yang is OK

ssyifpfff🌙 bsides ..... whn they work together to bring xxc n a-qins soul back they're gonna start getting along a bit more

5m yeeting patriarch YES

ssyifpfff🌙 xue yang will have gone thru development by tht point

5m yeeting patriarch he will witness the path of xue yangs reincarnations

OMG IMAGINE THEM HAVING TO GO ON ADVENTURES TOGETHER FOR XXC

OMG SONG LAN THE SILENT WATCHER OF XUE YANGS STRUGGLES

ssyifpfff🌙 MAYHAPS HE MIGHT EVEN COME TO FEEL FOR HIM

4m by the time they all reincarnate, his sense of familiarity will be Different from xxc + a-qings

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

HOLY FUKC YESSSS NYAURORA YES

we did it, we made this amazing poly fucking work

WHAT ABOUT

THIS FINAL REINCARNATION

they kinda get those Family Vibes

a-qing comes a bit later on

yeeting patriarch 2 and a half dads and their daughter

ssyifpfff🌙 2 AND A HALF DADS ASDFGHGHKLJFA

2m yeeting patriarch (and a half because even so much reincarnations, xue yang isnt a proper dad)

hes like a k00l uncle

ssyifpfff🌙 a bit of a bad incluence uncle

2m yeeting patriarch actually this does song like a father to me

ssyifpfff🌙 but tbh if not for his bastardy, xue yang n a-qing would get along so well

1m the fuck up

SOUND*

LIKE

since he will have to earn for a-qings affection

the start will be rough

but later on, theyll be the Chaotic Duo

yeeting patriarch since this time around our xue yang is updated and polished to be the bastard on the right level

IMAGINE

one day into a distant future

all four together

yeeting patriarch with peace, happiness and warmth

ssyifpfff🌙 listenin to mcr?

3m and then

all of sudden

tears start falling from xue yangs eyes

yeeting patriarch hes all ???? about it

ssyifpfff🌙 NYARI

2m yeeting patriarch and the other three are just as shocked

ASDFGHJHG DONT

HES SO HAPPY

THIS TIME AROUND HES HAPPY FINALLY

ssyifpfff🌙 CENTURIES OF HURT

1m yeeting patriarch he doesnt understand why he got so overwhelmed

ssyifpfff🌙 OF HARD WORK TO BE BETTER

1m he cant make the tears stop

xxc gets super worried asking where it hurts

but... nothing hurts

yeeting patriarch THEN HE CRIES HARDER

ssyifpfff🌙 n thts whats making him cry!!! nothing hurts finally n hes glad!!

26s 3 seconds ago yeeting patriarch NOTHING FUCKINF HURTS NYASSHOLE. THIS IS HAPPINESS

ssyifpfff🌙 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

19s 3 seconds ago yeeting patriarch HOLY SHIT WE DID DONE THAT

the first few reincarnations and how hard it was for xue yang

the stages of grief but thru his many reincarnations

with the last one, before the Modern Setting

him breaking down in front of song lan

finally it all hit him and he gets it

when they manage to sacrifice their souls for xiao xingchen and a-qing's, he even wishes to not be reincarnated again so they can be At Peace without him

yeeting patriarch their lives*

OMG XUE YANG WISHING HE JUST REMAINS DEAD. NOW THT HE HAS FINALLY GOTTEN XXCS SOUL THE LAST TEST IS AN ACT OF REAL SELFLESSNESS.

ssyifpfff🌙 its would b so good?? bc whn he first get introduced to xy his motivation as a character is to get xxcs soul so he can use it for his own good

42m 41 minutes ago n at the end he would GIVE his soul for xxc, for THEIR own good

ssyifpfff🌙 did we just invent character development?

42m 41 minutes ago yeeting patriarch WE MF DID DONE IT AGAIN

ssyifpfff🌙 also purple420 lmao

41m 40 minutes ago yeeting patriarch he Finally embraces all the grief he felt when xxc died

ssyifpfff🌙 HE RECOGNIZES IT AS GRIEF!! BC BFORE HE JUST FELT ANGER AT XXC OF ALL THINGS

41m 40 minutes ago back then, the emotional constipation got in the way and he fucked up

but after so many punishing reincarnations, he finally came to take it all in and Understand

imagine him breaking down so many nights begging to xxc to forgive him in a desperate prayer

and song lan then one day witness it

yeeting patriarch fukc the road with song lan was also such a hard one

song lan seein xy chara development from afar is the best idea weve had in a long time nyari

ssyifpfff🌙 we did that

38m 37 minutes ago in the first few... idk, 10 reincarnations, song lan was so angry. 'why does he keep coming back? why does he have his memories?'

yeeting patriarch fates would always put song lan in xue yangs path

ssyifpfff🌙 Fate (us)

36m 35 minutes ago yeeting patriarch how Dolce it is to imagine xue yang finally taking in grief and regret and it all and breaking down... *kisses fingers like a chief*

by that last time, song lan and xue yang sacrificed their lives, even song lan was already suffering seeing the punishments of all xue yang's reincarnations

he witnessed all of them

yeeting patriarch and saw with his own eyes, ops! with xiao xingchen's eyes, nyeheh. how much xue yang learned and changed

[sundrenched-smilez]

tell me about... bee and lynn...

bee and lynn!! what pals, they used to date haha sry this took me forever, lynn has been mostly a mystery to me until vry recently, so i never knew how to answer this

so im gonna do abt lynn and then abt how lynn and bee go together + what kinda relationship they have 

lynn is nonbinary probably and uses they/them + is androgynous and gorgeous, the kinda person u see in ur dreams and hope is real, or see on the street or on the bus and wanna befriend bc they look so pretty and fun, and they have a soft, nice smile that u could fall in love with 

they work in a grocery store and if u ever hear them laugh, ur basically blessed for life bc gosh it’s incredible and the best sound youve heard. they have pink fluffy hair and a big nose w big lips 2 match and u feel like ur really existing and understood when u meet their green/brown eyes. theyre usu pretty quiet and distant if they dont know u, but if u do know them, they’ll be pretty open and lax w u. lynn loves their alone time, but is also chill w just sitting together in silence, and occasionally they will show u one (1) whole meme or cool thing 

they wear a lot of monocolor outfits, like diff shades of blue or green, with occasional black and other colors splashed in if theyre feelin it !! sometimes theyll plan outfits but usu they just throw on whatever and naturally look amazing + seemingly well coordinated

lynn has troubles trusting people tho, so if they dont already know u, theyre gonna b a lil hostile (yrs of customer service has given them animosity towards ppl, probably. and last time they trusted someone new they got burned badly over it.) they know of emma and r kind of like a sister to her, since theyre dating olivia + was around a lot. they like to be held a lot, and to hold, so oliva and them cuddle v often and watch movies or listen to music, or sit at parks + go on picnics and lay in the grass

some v wholesome stuff, i love them and cherish every moment they spend together lynn wants to be a big sister to emma a lot bc of Reasons (they had a little adoptive kind of sibling, but was just being used by her, partially why they don’t trust ppl as easily now.) they tell emm that if she needs to talk to anyone, theyre always there, and sometimes comes over just to hang out w her and catch up. they like drawing a lot and will often just sit and doodle together, gives emm some tips and encouragement, sometimes even a nice hug (which theyre gettin better and better at giving, and sometimes gives them rly great. just tight warm hugs that make u feel alive and safe and loved and give u hope that things rly will b ok) and ruffles her hair 

now for bee and lynn!! 

they dated for 7 months a couple years ago, before lynn and olivia got together. they were sharp edgy teens trying to be bad and sharp to the world, and it got to be too much for them both. there was lots of crying, and they were definitely conflicted about breaking up, and it was rly hard for a bit, but theyre better off for it. they’re good friends now, and play mini-golf on weekends. they spent a lot of dates getting coffee and sitting on buildings, goin to places they shouldn’t, and causing mischief. they almost got arrested once bc they went swimming after night + rly had to put on the waterworks that they came from their parents property and thought the lake was part of it. they had a lot of fun and were close, but it wasn’t healthy to rely so heavily on each other as a fix to themselves and all their problems theyre both a lot more open and talkative + expressive and honest of their feelings and needs, and r better off now. theyve got friends + more support than they ever did, and r in much better places. 

when they hang out now, they like to jam out and collab on songs and art, and eat snacks, sometimes make snacks!! like nachos or homemade pocky or cupcakes and such !!every so often, one of them will b having a rly bad day and will need to get away from it all, so they have a sleepover + cuddle and watch whoever’s fav movie, and share the bed so they sleep ok, and get brunch the next morning/afternoon

im torn between keeping them friends and having them get back together, bc a rly nice platonic relationship would b cool bc not everything has to b romanticized or sexualized, but also theyre rly great together now + my poly ass needs representation 

thank u so much for asking tho!! part of figuring out lynn was makin this post, so u helped shaped them a lot, and i super appreciate it bc i was havin trouble w them. im sry it took so long tho + hope u still see this 

[benwhlshaws]

ok so this is just a rambly overview over what has happened (sam wise) over the seasons so its maybe a little bit easier when keep blabbing @ u abt him 😂

i will try not to go on tangents ehhh 😬😬

sorry for the salty tone in advance

s1: ok sam is at college & lives with jess, dean comes to him after they havent seen each other in 2/3/4 years and says they gotta find john bc he didnt come home from a hunting trip, sam reluctantly says yes to one case but only if theyll be back in time for his law school interview (☹️ oh child), they do the case, sam comes home to jess burning on the ceiling like his mum, and him & dean hit the road to Find Dad and Kill The Demon.

during all this sam starts to get visions of bad things happening in the future and everyones Concerned, they eventually find dad but fail to kill the demon and dean gets fatally injured.

s2: john makes a deal with azazel (the demon that killed mary and jess) to save dean and Dies (& gets sent to hell), sam and dean are Sad (this is tangent worthy but i Won’t right now)

note worthy middle season things are that sam gets possessed by a demon that makes him do horrible stuff in one ep and in another the first girl he has sex with after jess turns out to be a werewolf and he has to shoot her (Fun!), oh and before john died he told dean he might have to kill sam if he starts going rogue (bc john knows abt sam’s mysterious gifts), dean eventually tells sam abt it and sam is Horrified obvs, season ends with azazel kidnapping sam and other kids with Gifts and sam finds out he was fed demon blood as a baby, sam gets killed and dies in deans arms, dean makes a crossroads deal to bring him back and gets one year of life left

oh and they open hells gates and john gets out and is just Normal Dead (yay) but also lots of dark stuff (not yay)

s3: sam is Upset and tries to find a way to get dean out of the deal, katie cassidy’s Ruby appears and says she can help, mid season stuff notable mention for an ep in which the trickster makes sam watch dean die every day for abt 100 days and then lets sam live 6 months without him just for Fun (dean doesnt remember any of this but sam does), anyway they fail at saving dean and sam has to watch him get ripped apart by hellhounds

s4: i mean u watched this but still 😂, dean crawls out of his grave, cas gets introduced, sam has been hanging out with ruby and starts drinking her demon blood bc it gives him the power to exorcise and kill demons without harming their vessel, also the demon lilith (she sent dean to hell so sam has a revenge boner for her too lbr) wants to start the apocalypse by breaking 66 seals and sam has the power to kill her (hot powerful babe that he is 🔥😏), the angels manipulate the living hell out of Everyone and LOTS OF FIGHTING HAPPENS. also dean finds out he broke the first seal when he started torturing in hell (everyone loves forgetting that but Ok) anyway

when dean finds out sam is addicted to demon blood, him and bobby lock him in the panic room without food or water or comforting words but :-))) (i’m not mad at all). then CASTIEL (another guilty party maybe?? HMMM??) lets sam out so he can find ruby and go kill lilith, which he does and ends up breaking the final seal and frees lucifer (which no one knew would happen except for the angels and ruby & dean was abt to do the same thing literally minutes before he found out the truth LOL)

this season is so crazy tangent worthy but i’ll save it for the Actual Post

s5: sams guilt and self hatred is HIIIIIGH and dean does nothing to help that and the rest of the world loves reminding him hes Evil incarnate as well :-) but ok,

dean finds out hes michael’s vessel and sam finds out hes lucifer’s, lots of archangel and other mid season stuff happens, season ends with sam saying yes to lucifer so he can jump into the pit to hell and trap him in there with him, therefore saving the world and all of humanity bc he is a hero thanks for listening to my Ted Talk

s6: dean has been living with lisa and her son ben for a year, it turns out sam is alive but Different, oh damn! he’s soulless! (and sassy sexy Fun 😎) and his (pure gentle) soul is still in hell with lucifer (💔😭)

dean and cas get his soul back but its so damaged (😔) that putting it back into sam would kill him so they ask death to build a wall between the two (no idea how this all rlly works its been a while since i watched this), soul is back in sam, forgot how the season ends but not that important anyway

s7: sam’s soul hell wall thing breaks and he’s dying and ill and sick and sad and everythings awful and he has hallucinations of lucifer telling him insidious horrible stuff and making him doubt reality and dean and everything and its very upsetting to me thanks,

umm forgot how the season REALLY ends but basically sam sees dean die (dean is actually in purgatory BUT SAM DOESNT KNOW THAT)

s8: my memories are hazy at best but i remember the Basic stuff,

its one year later and dean is out of purgatory and somehow him and sam find each other, sam has been living off the grid and found a gf and a dog after grieving dean, dean finds this to be the most heinous of crimes and Hates sam for it (bc u didnt look for me sam!!! and u had a cushy life while i was fighting for mine in purgatory!!! HOW DARE YOU BE HAPPY WITHOUT ME) and the guilt tripping is outta control this season woooohoooo,

anyway idr why but one of them has to take on The Trials (bc it does smth important for them i dont remember why lmao) and sam wants to do them,

stuff happens and they make sam sick and weak and Sad but they also purify his blood so hes desperate for them bc he’s felt awful and unclean all his life and its Upsetting. season ends with the final trial aka The Ultimate Sacrifice which means death and sam’s like yes! death! here for it 100%! and dean’s like no! why? and sam’s like lol i’m horrible and useless and a liability and all i do is let u down and i wanna die! :-)

dean convinces him not to (in a crap way imho BUT)

s9: sams fatally ill and just. wants. to dieeee and gadreel (an arch?angel) tells dean that he could possibly heal sam if he lets him possess sam and Dean Says ‘sam would rather die than ever let anything possess him again’ aaaand then says yes to gadreel :-)

and sam’s alright but has no clue how it happened and keeps losing time and is fucked up over it and dean lies to him and says everythings A Okay

oh and gadreel kills kevin with sam’s body and sam has nightmares abt it

this somehow resolves itself (not in a satisfying way for me of course but when do things ever) but i dont rlly have the deets for the rest of the season

s10-s12: honestly i basically dont know much, somehow dean has the so called mark of cain on his arm which makes him Awful and Horrible and he says things to sam that are Unbelievable and make me Furious

also at some point dean turns into a literal demon, not for super long though i think

sam is a strong kind and beautiful bean during all of this

mary is there somewhere too somehow and lucifer stuff and the list goes on but you know SHRUG

s13: lucifer’s baby is born! a nephilim! idk how it works age wise but hes in the body of a cute young man called jack and hes a cinnamon roll and sam treats him so fatherly and gently and with so much compassion and it makes me Feel and they have an adorable gorgeous relationship! also dean is a giant Dickwad to jack :-) fun!

oh omg lucifer gets killed in the finale and i fucking hope its final and forever bc I AM OVER IT!!!!

thats the VERY basic stuff and i apologise that its so long... im sorry ur indulging me how do u cope

also i love u and the only person cuter than sam is You 🤗💘💖💕💓