#i do be thinking too much about hockey kids 24/7

[gaffney]

Dying to hear all your thoughts on Adam Banks!

my thoughts on adam banks are A Lot, prob too much to be condensed into a single tumblr post 😭 but i guess my ~hottest take on him is simply the fact that i don’t think he’s the “sad, anxious (or even abused)” kid some people think he is. (what i do think is that he feels a ton of pressure because he's a kid who is aware of his own talent, but also that he loves the sport). like there seems to be a general consensus that adam never gets to make his own decisions and is always “forced” into them?? a lot of his behavior is also excused by making him a perpetual victim, which, imo, is a false narrative but also rids adam of having his own agenda. and it also erases his personal growth and the choices he’s made to better himself.

like, adam’s entire journey is parallel to bombay: to become a better person. becoming a team player who doesn't just look out for himself. like adam himself says in spirit of the ducks: “i kinda sucked as a human”. i love that he owns it because it’s true!!! he did suck!!! not because he’s the best player, but because of his winning mentality that was 100% shaped by the hawks’ “it’s not worth winning if you can’t win big”. i get that in the movies they don’t really give adam much of a voice and a lot of his scenes are left to interpretation, so yeah. the version of adam that i headcanon is heavily influenced by the source material (novelizations, old manuscripts) where he’s definitely a bit more ambitious, self-sufficient, and knows how to bite back/take care of himself. ex., in the novelization, he’s proud of himself that he’d made varsity. in the movie, it sort of looks like he's just disappointed/vaguely annoyed. also in the novelization, he yells at charlie during their fight that (charlie) is just “upset that your precious coach (bombay) bailed on you” which is 100% true and i still wish they’d kept that line in because no one dared to call charlie out on his BS when he needed them to. but i’m aware not everyone has read them, or doesn’t care to, tho.

[erinwantstowrite]

Okok fr questions because I’m obsessed with Tim figure skater AU

Because the bats aren’t aware of tim being the one behind his vigilante mask, how are his relationships with them out of the suits? Do they interact often or on spare few occasions? (I see the happy birthday Bruce message and think they don’t talk *too* often? idk)

ALSO JANET AND TIMS SIGNATURES… them being so similar has me rocking back and forth crying (interpret as you will)

AHHHHH I LOVE FIGURE SKATING TIM AUUUUUU

be prepared i am about to YAP cause i love this au sm and now i gotta talk about it LFMAO

So far, the backstory is that Jay ended up not dying and was just extremely injured after the Joker incident. When he got back on his feet again, he joined a hockey team to make more friends outside of the hero community. Cass wanted to try figure skating and they start going to a rink in Gotham, and that's where they met Steph, who is "not" a vigilante. (She is, but more on that in a sec.)

While there, they start to hear more about "Tim" who comes by sometimes and is Steph's friend (they met when they were much younger and they are besties), and they end up connecting that the Tim they're talking about is "that famous figure skater from Bristol" that's always in the news. Cassie is a huge fan of Tim's, and she freaks out when she hears from Jason and Cass that this rink is one that Tim frequents. That's why she ends up dragging Bart and Kon to the rink to see Jason's practices or to hang out with Cass- so she can meet Tim.

However, it's sort of a well kept secret that Tim and his rink friends have. He's not supposed to go there anymore, because he has a private rink. Janet lived, but Jack went into his coma still. He eventually woke up and while Jack is recovering, he finds out they moved back to Bristol full time and there's no more travelling. In turn, they spend more time with Tim, but it's also a strain on their relationships. Jack gets on Tim's case about school, and Janet becomes Tim's manager and pressures him about skating. So Tim doesn't get to visit the rink as often anymore because of his workload. Like, he's in the gym 24/7, does his schoolwork online (he's grades ahead), doesn't ever get a break. Meanwhile, Jack and Janet are always fighting and sort of using Tim as an outlet/weapon against the other.

Buuuuuut, when he does visit, he meets Jason, Cass, Cassie, Bart, and Kon through the connection with Steph and other unnamed rink friends. They start getting to know Tim through the times that he's at the rink, and Steph, who is Janet's #1 hater and an instigator at heart, starts pushing for the vigilantes to look more into Tim's life and befriend him.

The dynamics at play are super funny because Steph and Tim are a vigilante. "A" vigilante, as in sharing the same identity. Tim doesn't have the time in his schedule to go out there, so Steph takes up that part of the role and they share this identity together- Steph taking out the bad guys as "Bird Watcher" and Tim doing the computer/tech work as "The Ornithologist". They're both detectives in their own right and work so well together that it's incredibly hard to distinguish that they aren't one person. They both know that the Bats are the Bats, but the Bats are unaware that these two are the same vigilante they've been trying to figure out for years now.

The rest of the family meets Tim through Jason's hockey stuff, away from Janet and just who he is as an individual. And then they see his figure skating side and the dynamic he has with Janet when Cass enters the same competitions as Tim. (This is my world and they compete against each other.) Obviously, Bruce sees this black haired, blue eyed kid who has parents that treat him like shit and goes "Another one, thank you!" So Tim ends up getting closer to them that way and Steph (again, Janet's #1 hater and looking for members for her club) is having the time of her life causing chaos on the side.

There is... a "tiny" little detail that I won't share yet, cause I truly do want to write this au at some point, and it's way more fun to see people react in real time to it. (I have SOOOO many Tim aus it's not even funny. Blame alighterwood for that.)

Also YESS Tim and Janet are so alike but so completely different it makes me CRAZY

[hugheses]

these are just some thoughts after seeing ur post on the hockey thigh thing btw, and i hope you hear me out. you being a lesbian (im bi and i have a gf currently), which is something you emphasise a lot, and not being attracted to these dudes doesnt make this whole parasocial archive any less weird or creepy. i'm not here to shit on or invalidate your passion, because obv its something you care about deeply from how much your scour the web for all these old things, even of their mother when she was young. and genuinely, thats pretty cool, i work in archival and i have a lot of respect for that with the effort you've put into it.

but i think you are encouraging others to imitate this blog and culture, when it comes to other players who aren't as in the media as the hughes family. like i agree that its part and parcel of the job as athletes who represent a multitude of things like ur franchise ur family etc, but i feel like we just shouldn't proliferate this. i know people on twitter are unjustly harsh and oftentimes critical to the point of meanness, but i think some points they share are valid. just bc its on the internet, doesnt give us the permission to do stuff ykwim? like imagine just going up to the hughes and giving them a scrapbook of every media moment from their mothers childhood, to her college, their dad, and them as kids and now as adults. thats just straight up weird. and don't even get me on the sexualisation, i get they are adults but isn't that just basic respect?

i know having an internet community is rlly important to some, and im sure ur followers would still give you that support u need even if you dont constantly supply them with these media things, or dangle ur secret archive like a carrot over them.

hoping you have a great day

you clearly put a lot of time and thought into this, so i will give you that same level of consideration back. i think you have some misunderstandings about me, hockey fandom, and fandom culture as a whole.

first, the lesbian thing. admittedly tumblr search is very broken but according to it i’ve mentioned the word lesbian twice on here, as a disclaimer for why i might not be the best person to understand what male attracted people find hot. it's possible it's come up a few other times but it’s definitely not something i "emphasize a lot". it's somewhat ironic that you bring up you being bi and having a gf in what reads to me like a deflection on your critique that i say i'm gay too much, when you seem to think me saying i'm a lesbian is bc i'm trying to deflect on sexualizing these guys. which admittedly is the most confusing part of your entire ask. is this solely about the thigh ask? if you’re worried about "basic respect", hockey fandom is probably not the place for you. i know i don't like seeing 500 reader insert posts every time i open anyone's tag, which is why i have related terms muted and block people who don't use them. however this is very much a part of hockey fandom and i’m aware of that. on the flip side, the unfortunate reality is that hockey players are some of the nastiest misogynistic men on the planet who generally do not see women as actual human beings beyond mommies, maids, and holes. if i WAS sexualizing these men 24/7 i would feel well within my rights to do so, and could make an only slightly ironic argument for it being feminist praxis. if jack hughes can ask girls to flash him, i can have a little sexualization, as a treat. 

calling me weird and creepy isn’t actually negated by following up with saying you're not trying to shit on or invalidate my passion and you respect the effort i put into it. if you think i’m weird and creepy, you’re allowed to feel that way, but actually own it if that’s what your opinion is.

you imagined this scrapbook scenario and then say that it’s weird. i agree, that hypothetical thing would be weird. good thing i’m not doing that, will never do that, and take many efforts to have a strong fourth wall and keep this blog separate from the people it's about. i am a firm believer in keeping fandom private and secluded! that's why im not tweeting all of this and tagging them. 

it’s a big leap for you to assume that i do this because i "need support". not that it matters, but i do all of this because i find it fun and i’m being generous with people who do not have the time/resources/know-how to find this stuff on their own. there's nothing wrong with finding a community online, but i had one before doing all this. in fact, all of this has been really more trouble than it's worth in terms of harassment vs kindness lmao. some people on here have been lovely to me, but i’m beyond the age where i need virtual validation from strangers. you’re right about one thing, i do dangle my secret archive like a carrot, largely for petty reasons because of a few specific assholes. 

you seem to think i’m the only person who does stuff like this. update/archival accounts are very common for musicians, actors, even like... tiktok influencers. were you not online when people hacked an airport security cam feed to watch one direction sit and do nothing? everything ive ever posted on here has been available to the public. i’m just good at finding stuff. even within this smaller sports fandom on tumblr, i have been inspired by OTHER BLOGS who were doing this before me and go way harder than i do. i didn’t invent the concept of collecting information and images about public figures like you seem to think i did, but thanks.

if you want to critique fandom culture as a whole, go right ahead, but i ask that you keep the sanctimonious lectures out of my inbox, especially when they're based in assumptions. any one of these things could have been questions i would be willing to chat about if you were actually curious about me and what i do. i in fact have lots of opinions that might surprise you on many of these things you mentioned. but i will have those conversations with other people, who talk to me with the respect and dignity that i deserve.

[annieqattheperipheral]

Ok just watched episode 3: learning to win. sway vs. mchucky

This episode was crafted so well. Gave us the introverted intellectual vulnerable hearthrob musician vs. the boisterous popular shit-talking quarterback jock storyline.

Since i like neither the bruins nor panthers it was more like watching a fun sports movie and letting the characters make me fall in love with them with those tropes in place. I really do compartmentalize how i interact with these teams and their players so ok let's break it down, here's how my heart and head battles it out:

Bruins? A bigass boo from this leafs fan. I hate them on principle just for that, for a generational og6 rivalry. But. But i respect their locker room. Their leaders have created a cohesive unit i envy tf out of for generations past present and future. They're a good group of ppl ...with a shittastic front office of old world hockeymen. Sorry to bruins fans for having to deal with that bs

Panthers? Another huge groan but for both personal reasons and the leafs thing. Yea kicked leafs ass in playoffs '23 round 2 but that's like whatever (that was leafs own doing, didn't bring it. or anything really). It's that personally i hate their style of play, it takes the fun out of watching the skill and speed of hockey. I can't abide by the dirty shit, just makes it un-fun for me.

Ok this is where it gets weird. Let's talk about the people

mtkachuk: i love him, i loved him with the flames, i love him still. Amazing kind gracious funny personable. But put him on the ice with the panthers and who? Who dis? No sir i do not know this man. I cannot explain why my brain does this but it's the only way i know how to enjoy Matthew while also having disgust for the panthers playing style. I mean maybe this is how/why we love/hate the teams we do. It hits the right or wrong chords in your own heart. So yea, that's the logic, rational or not.

Paul Maurice: i love this man and if i knew him in real life like maybe my uncle or someone, i would chat with him for hours during a family dinner party like i do with my favourite relatives who i respect so much. His interviews hug me to the core. He fascinates me with his clarity on life. I don't agree with what he has his players do, but i respect tf outta his drive and purpose and how he leads. Once again, a battle bw my heart and head *shrug*

Swayman: honestly i never paid much attention to him. I've never been a goalie crazy person so while i had classified him as one of the elite ones in the league, i wasn't ever taken by him (yes even thru all the cutesy goalie hugs). That said, it was really lovely getting to know him and what a beautiful voice. His dad was endearing as heck, reminded me of one of my colleagues. What a sweet gentle-hearted family, but also so tough mentally to get your kid into the nhl, while holding true to their vulnerable emotional side. Pretty fucking incredible i think. Sway got thru arbitration and used it as a checklist to drive himself further. Amazing. Fuck yea he's got an element of corniness to him but Matthew's corny as heck too in 24/7 florida frat boy party mode so whatever everyone's being their own true selves I'll embrace that.

I laughed very hard at the tkachuk family scenes. Good stuff. But hell no, no ty, i could not survive in that environment lmao. I do jokes yes, I'm usually the funniest person in social settings but i don't do shitting on each other stuff (why i hate hanging out with stand-up comics. improvisers tho? my favourite ppl, all about yes and'ing each other)

But all of that was great insight into the who what how why's of matthew and brady beyond any interview ever could. Pretty great what they've got going on. god how open those tkachuks can be with one another with sentiments disguised as insults and jokes, and not have feelings hurt. Ofc that family keeps on thriving. They can say anything to each other and know that they can fight back and still be supported. Like that's fuck awesome. I'm envious as hell. Just as i am tho, with how i was raised, i wouldn't survive them lol.

Lmao this epi review got loooong. Like i said,

fun sports movie vibe

Made me love sway and hate matthew lollll. I would show this to non-hockey ppl as a gateway into hockey.

Also someone pls tell matthew to get seat belts for his golf cart wtfffff!!! He's driving that shit on the road with actual cars!!! My heart could not take it😳

[thenumber-e]

Wifeyyyyy! Tell me about Craig's sports Hobbies? Or Hobbies in general:3

ok feeling shitty rn so this’ll (hopefully) get my mind off of stuff

anyways oh boy there are SO many of these that i have this is gonna get long i think

starting off with sports, i feel like he’d be an active guy. not like gym bro buff craig kinda stuff you see, he’s definitely a lanky beanpole. but i feel like he does a few sports so has a bit of muscle

first off, basketball. i’m a truther for this one, i don’t see it a lot tho. like, i hc him as being pretty tall, and i don’t have much like canon advice to back this up but that and the fact that there’s a basketball in his garage in tsot- but i think it jus fits him tbh. and also because it’s funny, he’s a total fucking loser nerd, but since yk i’ve gotta stick to canon sometimes, he’s technically popular and attractive, he definitely has like a jock alter-ego or smth stupid like that LMAO

he definitely seems like a hockey guy. like- the enforcer is so him. he’d totally wanna beat people up just cus he can. also i think he’d be a really good skater- i think he’s a pretty well balanced person physically. also, i see kyle as doing hockey, and they’re definitely close. i just see them being friends making sense, so now theyll have a sport together. also- because im insane, ike does hockey too and kyle and craig help him practice

i believe i’ve seen this once, but yk. i always see boxer tweek and don’t get me wrong i love that, but i feel like craig would continue doing martial arts afterwards too. like he’s canonically a violent and angry guy, but he’s kinda mellowed out, and i feel like that’s him just holding it back or smth cus he gets in trouble alllll the time. tweek also probably scolds him for it. but i feel like it would be a good way for him to get out any extra emotions, because he is NOT good at expressing those. also, back onto lanky criag, he’s got long limbs, and i feel like that’s good for someone to do martial arts (trust me im projecting) also, that’s also why he has good balance i feel.

alright, done with sports, just normal hobbies.

starting off, he’s 100% a music guy. i see stuff about him preferring podcasts over music, but i see him as a total music guy. in @panicatthecourtx more recent posts, she kinda went over that stuff, but because yk, im the craig ceo i’ll go over it too. i call it dad rock cus thats what my dad listens to, but he definitely listens to nirvana, ac/dc, weezer, that kinda stuff. he’s just a nerd. but i feel like he’d also have music as a way to vent in some sort of way? idk if it makes sense this is just how my brain works, but when he’s stressed, overstimulated, or just down in the dumps he zones out and just listens to music. he’s also just a nerd

space, duh. he could go on and on about that shit for hours. he can make every constellation, am every galaxy, all the nebulas, and basically anything. especially black holes. they fascinate him, he finds them so interesting and yk. is a nerd about em. ik it doesn’t really tie in with space stuff but i’ll put it here, he definitely loves conspiracy theories, especially ones about aliens and stuff. he thinks of his own all the time. especially about other space related things. also, back to conspiracy, death absolutely fascinates him. he just want to know what happens after that.

this is a basic one, but sleeping. he’s the heaviest sleeper ever, literally sleeps 24 fuckin 7

he’ll never admit it, but he kinda likes school. not because he likes sitting around all day or listening to teachers drone on and on, it’s because usually he can talk about things. in classes he enjoys, it’s his favorite thing ever. i also see him as that one kid who literally never studies or pays attention and yet has all A’s in every class.

he’s 100% a reader. he can zone out and not lay attention to anything. he gets lost in books all the time and it’s so nerdy but he loves it. it’s almost like an escape from reality which he likes. he’d never admit it, but he frets stressed pretty easily so he enjoys the way to just be alone in his own world. this also ties in with the music hc- he probably listens to music while reading. he also just zones out a lot in general

this also kinda feeds into music headcanons but he skateboards. he just gives me 90s grunge/kurt cobain vibes and youll never change my mind on this. he thinks he’s so fuckin cool but he’s just some random ass lame kid but he gets away with it cus he’s mildly popular or whatever. but he definitely has a little mini skateboard for stripe

why do these headcanons keep feeding off of each other? i dont know but yk its ok. craig fucking loves mini things. it’s definitely iconic, cus my craig is really tall and has big ass hands. but small things remind him of tweek (my tweek is like 5’8 so compared to him yeah kinda short) but he’s just gay and loves anything and everything that reminds him of tweek

i’ve also realized i don’t need a really detailed description for everything so yeah uhh (don’t mind this it’s my train of thought)

he collects shit he has the most random stuff in his room. random lego pieces he found that he thought were cool, a shit tom of rocks, different leaves, little trinkets, anything space related, stickers, just stupid stuff. those are just the basics, but he has soooo much stuff

he loves making detailed lists and ordering them and stuff

going on hikes he loves hiking he just loves the outdoors tho

stargazing is a must. he loves it and has specific times and places for them

from like a singular scene in like on episode, he plays the fuckin violin cus he’s cool like that yk. because friends, he and wendy practice together- a friend headcanons that she plays the flute, so yk it works.

hanging out with friends is a must. especially clyde they have the bromance ever they’re so lovey dovey best friends

it’s like 2am and i’m getting lazy so here ya go this isn’t even half but alas it’s ok so have fun with my stupid ass spews ty for ur time

[holocene-sims]

15 oc questions!

i was tagged by @stargazer-sims - thank you so much!! ❤️ i've never done one of these tags in a character's voice, so it's fun to get extra practice writing as them 😊

i'll tag:

@dandylion240 @bl-sims-anime @idyllicephemera @elderwisp @nectar-cellar @minty-plumbob @crazykissim @mangosimoothie & anyone else who wants to do it!

ANYWAY i'm doing this for grant! idc if y'all have heard enough about grant, the honor goes to him

are you named after anybody?

my actual legal first name is joseph, which is my grandfather's name! so, uh, somehow yes, i am named after somebody! but i'm 99.9% sure it was out of laziness and not out of love. well, no, i'm 100% sure of that. it's not like my mom has ever respected her parents...but that's a whole different thing, we're not going there.

when was the last time you cried?

i'm a crybaby, come on! i'm known for being very emotional. i mean, sad animal commercials make me weepy. externally weepy. like tears running down my cheeks weepy. but the actual last time i cried? hmm, maybe like a week ago? i don't know if i could tell you why, though. i probably blocked it out of my memory! i'm great at that.

do you have kids?

do, uh, do cats count? because i do have a cat who i love and put sweaters on. sweaters! and he loves it.

do you use sarcasm?

it depends? sarcasm usually feels mean-spirited to me, so i'm not super into it, but then again, that's half the conversations i have with my family. i know in that case, though, that it's all bullshit humor and not serious. anyway, i think what i'm saying in a roundabout way is it depends a lot on context and audience. i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or be a dick. i like being nice.

what's the first thing you notice about people?

okay, listen, in the most normal and not at all weird way possible, people's hairlines are always what i see first. i've been the first witness to so, so many fake blondes accidentally showing their dark roots or to dudes going bald. i'm sorry! i'm just freakishly tall! i can't not look down at all your heads unless i'm kneeling down on the ground. i'm not trying to spy on or judge the state of your hair, i promise.

what's your eye color?

brown! justice for brown eyes, the best eye color. i love being able to go out in the sun and not have my eyeballs bleached by the light. also, there's really not that many brown eyes in my family, so that's kind of fun. i'm a special boy.

scary movies or happy endings?

why not both? i love a good blair witch project, final destination moment. i also love a nice mushy gushy romantic movie with a happy ending. hell, i'd watch both in the same evening. start off with a fucked up horror movie and end it with pride and prejudice. sounds like a perfect night to me.

any special talents?

probably not anything relevant? i mean, i've played skyrim on survival mode without dying before. oh, and i guess back when i was still playing hockey, uh, a decade ago, i could score with the michigan goal pretty easily, which isn't all that common. in high school, i got my school the state championship win with that skill. but meh, i don't know how many people in the world know enough about hockey to care about that.

where were you born?

michigan! the part everyone forgets about, aka the upper peninsula, aka diet canada.

what are your hobbies?

i like to think i'm a well rounded person. i enjoy the super basic stuff like listening to music, but i'm also into into video games and tabletop RPGs like d&d. cooking and baking are fun for me, too. i did get into art semi-recently as well. i kind of had to have something i could do while laying down, like, 24/7 after i had spinal surgery.

if you're ever bored, just go fuck up your spine. you'll have SO much time on your hands to get new hobbies. actually, don't. please don't. i've been suffering for years and will continue to. i'm dying. don't be me. pretty please. pinky promise.

oh, duh, i also forgot that i'm into astronomy and um, planes. look, i'm not a car guy, i'm a plane guy. that's more fun, right?

have you any pets?

he's a cat named turtle, so, like, you know, the best cat in the world. sometimes i think about getting him a cat friend to hang out with but then i worry he'd get jealous, so i haven't done it. who am i to say whether or not he wants to live with a friend? or a sibling? being alone is so valid. i respect that.

what sports do you play/have you played?

oh, well, like i said, i played hockey for a really long time, like from, hmm, i think kindergarten and on! i even got a scholarship in college to play hockey. i'm glad to be done, though. some things ruined it for me. long story. but these days, uhh, i don't play any real sports anymore. i like hiking, you know, and i do work out at least every other day because it makes me feel better in a lot of ways, but that's kind of it. my sports days are over. i don't even skateboard anymore and i used to do that all the time.

how tall are you?

like 6'7" - though, i am rounding down a little bit. yes, down. not up. also, don't ask me how i ended up that tall. i have exactly one relative who is also tall. hi, chelsea! anyway, i am an accident or one hell of a joke. i'm laughing, i swear. it's very funny.

favorite subject in school?

i was overall a good student because i studied pretty hard but i was for sure a science and math kid. i loved physics in high school. and then in college, i got some way more fun science and math classes. just so you know, i am really holding back right now from rambling like a total nerd loser about my college classes...

but i mean, if you wanna learn about, i don't know, quantum mechanics or flight control systems, hit me up.

dream job?

that's such an easy question! when i was really, really young, i wanted to be a weather man, but then i changed my mind and wanted to be a pilot because, i don't know, i hit that time in every child's life where they have to become obsessed with a form of transportation. but then i never let that obsession go. my parents wanted me to be a doctor the whole time, though, but eww, no, i'm good. anyway, the dream of flying planes never died and somehow it worked out. now if i could just, uh, you know, go back to that job soon, that'd be sick.

[freelancer-team-2]

Way too many to for me to do all of ‘em but I’ll try some of them.

Headphones

when I was 12 I had a plush toy of a bever and I called them John.

Iced drinks

I don’t like going on walks tbh. Kids stare at the leg too much

I like my eggs over easy tbh

if I could dye my hair any colour I’d go with purple or some blu variant. Won’t make much difference tho. I’m wearing a helmet almost 24/7 anyway.

my perfect sleeping conditions are open windows in the winter. Yes. In the winter. Fight me biomass.

I shower with the lights on. Like a Nero typical person. Or a non schizophrenic.

I’m decent at air-hockey

I’m a paranoid schizophrenic. That should answer the question on my handwriting. It’s bad.

my favourite thing to do while it rains is stand near peoples windows in tactical gear but be far enough away to where you’d need to squint to seem me properly.

I genuinely hate people being in the kitchen while I cook. Get out I’m doing crimes against the culinary arts.

I’m better at regular cooking.

I’ve had a purple hoodie since 2019 and I fuckin love it. Same goes for the galaxy print one.

black is the dominant colour in my dresser

I’ve got neither glasses or contacts. I just have blurry vision.

I used to be able to swim. Can’t anymore (see “I lost a fucking leg in Iraq”)

the last thing I ordered online was anti fogging solution Fotolife the visor of one of my helmets that I wear often

I’ve got some key ring charms from some video games (eg the atlas corporation logo, the noble team logo, ……………….. withered bonnie)

when I was a kid, I once whent as “G.I” for halloween. I dressed as an American marine (think Vietnam war era) it was my dad’s idea.

The best thing about my day today was when I watched some kids get into a fistfight in the hallway of my apartment building. Funniest shit ever

yes I had legos. I used to really like those “power miners” sets

I usually feel most at home either in my apartment, my car, or when I’m at my parents old house. It’s old af but it’s still got run water, electricity, Wi-Fi and it looks like it’s been abandoned for 30 years. We still have some lil “trinkets” around like an old AK my dad had when he was in the soviet military and my old prosthetic leg from when I ditched the regular plastic prosthesis to the price of steel I’ve got now.

I prefer pens.

this is the most personal it’ll get from my end on tumblr. Love y’all lots! Have an amazing day, evening, afternoon, and night!

Passing this over to mercy now @mercury-lurks

50 Questions Just Because

What are three shows in your watchlist that you’ve been meaning to get to?

Describe your favorite pair of socks

Do you like smoothies?

What do you wear when you have to dress nicely?

How do you like your eggs?

What do you use to keep your place when you’re reading a book?

What color dominates your closet?

Do you collect anything? If so, what?

What sounds or scents calm you down?

What’s your favorite kind of uquiz question? (Lyric, color, aesthetic, etc)

Do you wear glasses or contacts?

What’s something about your best friend that you love?

Do you prefer to write in pen or pencil?

What are some places where you feel most at home?

Do you have any houseplants? Do any of them have names?

Describe your favorite hoodie. How long have you had it? What makes it unique?

What’s the last thing you ordered online?

What’s one historical event that you would have liked to have witnessed?

What’s your favorite Halloween costume from when you were a kid?

What kind of math are you best at?

What’s your favorite period in art history, your favorite famous work and/or your favorite style of art? If you don’t know any that’s ok!

Iced or hot drinks?

Which songs do you like to sing in the shower?

Are you a good driver?

Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Are there any that you want?

Can you cook or bake? If so, what are some of your specialties?

Do you have any keychains on your home or car keys? Describe them!

Can you swim very well? Do you like swimming?

Did you play with Legos as a kid? What was your favorite set?

Is your closet organized? If so, how?

What’s the last music video you watched?

If you could dye your hair any color, regardless of how you think it would look, what color would you choose?

Headphones or earbuds?

Can you read analog clocks?

Describe your favorite stuffed animal, either now or from when you were a kid.

What’s an arcade or table game (air hockey, ping pong, etc) that you’re really good at?

Do you mind if others are in the kitchen when you’re cooking or baking?

What’s one show you watch or musician you listen to that your friends know nothing about?

What was the best part of your day today?

What’s your favorite kind of tree?

What scent is your deodorant?

Do you have any games on your phone? If so, which one(s) is/are your favorite?

Do you shower with the lights on or off?

What do you do with spare change?

Do you have good handwriting?

What’s the last thing a friend recommended to you that you looked into and actually liked?

Do you like to go on walks?

Do you have a favorite plate or bowl?

What’s your favorite thing to do when it’s raining?

Describe your perfect sleeping conditions

[rinkrats]

🥺 that mike lange story. But also those tags #sid loooves christmas #he loves giving presents #looks good in red #piles on the pounds fast #post hockey career as santa 😂😂👌🏽👌🏽

he loves his mementos and presents and is COMMITTED to them. scrapbooking. matching jackets. little pills with hidden motivational messages~*~ his love language is gifts and neck smooches and stalking geno. relevant right now are some anecdotes i sent a friend earlier this year for dorky sid gifts fic fodder:

1. Crosby's constant thoughtfulness would be impressive from anyone, much less someone of his stature.

"Sid always texts me happy birthday, he's always asking me like, how's Russia?" Evgeni Malkin said. "We talk and message all summer. He asks me how my skates are. He knows, like, everything. He follows my Instagram, I think (laughs)."

In addition to having a handle on those little details, Crosby is constantly providing those around him with memories and mementos. If the team is on the road and goes, say, sightseeing or to a sporting event and takes a group photo, Crosby will later send a framed copy to everyone.

When Ron Hextall and Brian Burke watched their first Penguins game in person, Crosby is the one who approached head equipment manager Dana Heinze and asked for two used game pucks to give to the new GM and president of hockey ops. 

After the Penguins won in 2009, Crosby had jackets made for the three players on the team who had scored a Cup-clinching goal in Game 7: Talbot (Pittsburgh), Ruslan Fedotenko (Tampa Bay) and Mike Rupp (New Jersey).

"They were blue jackets with gold buttons, and each one had a patch on it that said 'GWG Game 7,'" Talbot said. "At one of our first team meals the next season, he presented us with the jackets and did a big ceremony with the music and stuff. We had a private room in the restaurant. I still have the jacket."

-The Consummate Teammate, Captain and Ambassador, Feb 2021

2. Merz: My first interaction with Sid was when we were on the bench, guys were talking about a teammate, and the first thing this 15-year-old says is, “Hey, guys. Let’s keep everything positive. Don’t talk about your teammates that way.”

Salcido: When we were getting ready for nationals, he found these little pills that you could put a hidden message inside. They unscrewed, and inside was a tiny scroll. He gave one to every teammate. … He had everyone fill one out. He didn’t tell anyone what to write, but he made it known that we all knew what the goal was: winning nationals. So we wrote on our scrolls, rolled them up and put them in the pill thing. We kept them with us everywhere we went.

-‘Is this real?’: Stories of Sidney Crosby’s year at a Minnesota prep school, May 2020

3. On “Butterfly Boy” Jonathan Pitre:

Though the Senators are his team, Sidney Crosby has always been Jonny’s favourite player. After the TSN documentary airs, Tina gets a call from the Penguins. Sid needs Jonny’s measurements. He wants to have a suit made for him by his personal tailor, Domenico Vacca.

“It’s the kindest, sweetest gesture,” Tina says. “Sid heard that Jonny went to a lot of games, so he wants him to look like he’s one of the guys.”

“I want him to feel like a pro,” Crosby says. “Here’s a guy who is going through something so painful, and his first thought is always, ‘How can I help others?’ When I was young, I’d watch on TV the players coming to the rink in their suits. That was a cool part of being an NHL player. I want him to feel that, to make it as real as possible for him.”

Tina tries to discreetly measure Jonny while she’s changing his dressings. But he’s way too smart for that.

“Um, Mom, why are you measuring me? Am I going for surgery again?” he asks.

“No, no!” Tina replies, trying to reassure him and come up with a good lie, all in the same breath. “The doctor needs them just to make sure they have proper dressings next time you are in.”

A few weeks later, the sharp navy blue suit shows up at their front door, along with a couple of ties, an autographed stick and a handwritten letter from Sid. 

“His eyes just light up,” Tina says. “Jonny always liked to be well-dressed, and he just loves having his own suit. It fits perfectly. He looks so good in it.”

-Beauties by James Duthie (2020)

4. Pascal Dupuis inspired his Pittsburgh Penguins teammates on their run to the Stanley Cup, and Sidney Crosby found a special way of driving that message home.

Dupuis retired in December with lingering health concerns because of blood clots. Despite his NHL playing days coming to an end, the veteran forward remained an integral part of the Penguins and was in uniform to hoist the Cup after Pittsburgh's six-game win against the San Jose Sharks in the Stanley Cup Final.

On Sunday, Dupuis brought the Cup home one last time as a player to share a special day with his family, friends and hometown fans.

"Yes, it does feel bittersweet a little bit," Dupuis said. "You get the Cup, you want to celebrate. But at the same time I got a gift by the mail [Saturday]. Basically, it's a book of all the pictures of all the good stuff we went through. It came from Nova Scotia, so you guys can figure out who it came from (Crosby), but he couldn't give it to me during the season, he saw me skating a little bit.

"And he sent it [Saturday], before my day with the Cup, so he knew what he was doing to get me right here," Dupuis said, putting his fist over his heart.

-Pascal Dupuis shares Stanley Cup with family, friends, Aug 2016

5. In 2011, Crosby was out of the lineup with a concussion, and the Penguins made their annual visit to Children’s Hospital.

Crosby got along so well with one boy there and was so touched that he later asked Bullano to go back... just the two of them, no cameras, no attention.

When Bullano and Crosby met for the follow-up visit, Crosby appeared clutching a pair of Toys “R” Us bags, filled with a Transformer toy the two had discussed.

“He literally bought every type of this toy they make,” Bullano said. “[Crosby] had never seen it before and thought it was so cool.

“There are no pictures of this. There’s no video. He was laying in the bed with the kid. They were just playing. We were there for over two hours. I got to know the mom really well because we were just sitting there.

“The kid had no idea. Didn’t expect it. They had no idea he was coming. We got there and he said, ‘Hey buddy. hope you don’t mind that I came back.’ The kid couldn’t believe it.

“[Crosby’s] crazy cool about stuff like that.”

What’s crazy is trying to recount the many times stuff like this has happened with Crosby:

• The Little Penguins Learn to Play program has been around for nine seasons, outfitting now 1,200 kids with free head-to-toe hockey equipment. Not only does Crosby serve as the face of the program — which the NHL has now adopted — but he helps fund it, too.

“There’s an awareness of what a person in his position can bring,” Penguins vice president of communications Tom McMillan said. “I think he activates that as much as anybody I’ve seen during his playing career.”

• After a recent practice, Crosby noticed a local family in the Penguins dressing room, approached them, introduced himself, learned their story and wound up giving them a signed stick.

Nobody asked Crosby to do that, and he wanted zero credit when discussing it a couple days later.

“For people who have the opportunity to come in here, people dealing with certain things, if you can brighten their day a bit or spend some time with them, it’s something that’s special for all of us,” Crosby said.

• A few years ago, through a team charity event, Crosby befriended a 4-year-old Amish boy with cancer. Crosby remarked to Bullano how much he loved talking to the boy because of how engaging the boy was and how he wasn’t consumed with technology. Crosby even tried to visit the boy but learned he had passed away.

• He learns the first and last names of the kids who attend his hockey school in Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia.

“Two kids came from Japan its first year,” Bullano recalled. “He was so blown away by that. He couldn’t wait to meet them.”

• Earlier this season, the Penguins welcomed Grant Chupinka, 24-year-old cancer patient, into the dressing room. Crosby chatted up Grant and his parents, Steve and Kim.

He spent his usual time — about two or three times the requirement. Gave the tour. Then found out the Chupinkas didn’t have tickets for that night’s game and decided he would pay for them to go.

“I’m sure he could just give them an autographed puck or something, but he takes his time to go out and see them and talk to them and get to know them,” Brian Dumoulin said. “It speaks volumes for him and who he is as a person.”

Spend any length of time with Crosby during his visits with those less fortunate, and a few things become obvious.

One, Crosby is really good at these. Smooth but not in a slimy way. Sweet. You know how when you’re around someone talking and they go out of their way to make eye contact with everyone around? That’s Crosby.

He’s also humble, always introducing himself like those he’s meeting don’t already know. Holding a hand is no issue. And Crosby is the rare 20-something pro athlete without kids who acts every bit like he does.

“It is not an easy situation to talk to someone with terminal cancer,” McMillan said. “A lot of people couldn’t do that. He has an amazing ability to do that and make that person feel good.”

Crosby has welcomed several Make-a-Wish kids and tries, if at all possible, to schedule such events for practice days — to maximize the time he’s able to spend.

He’s developed a special friendship with Patrick McIlvain, a soldier who nearly died when he took a bullet to the head in Afghanistan. McIlvain actually does physical therapy with one of Crosby’s sticks.

A former club hockey player at Cal U, McIlvain comes by every year, and the Penguins don’t even bother to tell Crosby. Either he already knows or immediately stops what he’s doing to come say hello.

“He’s not doing it to leave a legacy,” said Terry Kalna, Penguins vice president of sales and broadcasting. “His numbers leave the legacy. He’s just a down-to-Earth, good guy.”

Before a visit, Crosby has Bullano email him what is essentially a scouting report on who he’s going to meet. He likes to learn about them, their situation and what they’ve been through. As much information as he can ingest. Crosby never just swoops in, shake a hand and leave.

“As much as anyone has ever seen, he accepts the responsibilities of being not just a professional athlete but a star professional athlete,” McMillan said. “He views it as part of the job. Like coming to the morning skate. That’s just what you do.”

Put another way, “he owns those moments,” says Kalna.

Said Bullano, “He’s just a good human being.”

-When it comes to giving, Sidney Crosby does as much as he can, Feb 2017

6. When Crosby received a generous signing bonus on his Reebok deal, he wanted to share it with everyone.

“He gave everyone on the bus gifts,”  says Oceanic radio commentator Michel Germain. “Him sharing his bonus with all the people he’d been travelling with for two years, that impresses me greatly. I think the most important thing about Sidney Crosby is his personality and the kind of human being he is. What he exuded. The inner richness he’d already developed.” 

-Superstitious and generous, Dec 2006

7. also this simply because it makes me ;w;

Even in defeat — no, especially in defeat — Sidney Crosby proved why he wears the "C" for the Penguins.

After the game, with his heart sinking and his season over, the Penguins’ captain bent over, sank to the ice to pick up the puck, took it to linesman Tony Sericolo and then skated to his team’s handshake line.

I immediately thought of a View from Ice Level I’d written on Crosby making sure a retiring official was sent away from PPG Paints Arena properly. I knew picking up the puck wasn’t for the same reason that was, but I also knew, in some way, it was connected to Crosby’s awareness and respect of the game.

“It was for the Islanders,” Crosby told me after the game, his eyes swollen from a first round exit – by way of a sweep to make it worse. He told me how the winning team always wanted the puck, and it was his way of providing it for the Islanders.

Crosby looked me right in the eye as he told me this, just as he did with every other member of the media to come to him after the loss.

I could tell from those swollen eyes and the way he sat at his stall, by himself with his hands folded as he stared blankly, that Sidney Crosby is much more used to being on the receiving end of a puck when a series ends than he is at retrieving it for the winning team.

That scene. His swollen eyes. Staying in the locker room until most had left – talking to anyone who needed him. Most of all, though, picking up the puck that prompted my question in the first place and making sure the right people got their piece of their own history.

It all adds up to one thing: In victory and in defeat, Crosby respects the game above all else – just as he’s always done.

-Even in defeat, Crosby shines, April 2019

[write-orflight]

Light the Lamp: Chapter 1

**Gif Not Mine**

Prev -  Next

Pairings: Bucky Barnes X Reader (Friends to Lovers, College/Hockey AU

Rating: M

Words: 2.2K

Warnings:  College kids being college kids, drinking, swearing, talk of sex(No smut yet but will be)

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary:  Love and Hockey were kind of the same, everyone’s just rushing to score. So why couldn’t you?

A.N Summary bad but I literally couldn’t focus on writing anything else until I finished at least the first chapter of this. let me know what you think, Message/reply/inbox to be tagged.

  Chapter 1: 1st Quarter

Hockey wasn’t the sport Bucky wanted to play originally. He wanted to play baseball like his old man but when Steve decided he wanted to take ice skating lessons, he made Bucky tag along so he wouldn’t be the only boy in the class. Soon, they found themselves recruited in the junior rec hockey team and had been playing together ever since. It wasn’t a surprise that when recruitment came around that school’s were trying to pick up both of them. People knew better than to separate Cap from the Winter Soldier. Steve’s nickname was easy to figure out. He had a natural authoritative nature that made him the Captain of almost every team he played on. You never knew why they called Bucky the Winter Soldier until you played against him. Bucky was like an assassin on the ice. While everyone was focused on Steve in Center, Bucky was on left wing scoring the goal before you knew what hit you. So both of them getting recruited to play for the Avengers at Wilmington University wasn’t surprising. 

Meeting you was. 

At first, it was a sort of form of hazing. When they were starting their Freshman year so was the Coach’s daughter. He had asked senior members of the team to ‘keep an eye on her’ and make sure she didn’t get herself into any trouble. The seniors’ thinking that was lame, were more than happy to pass the task off to the two eager freshmen trying to make a name for themselves. So that’s how it started, The two boys walking you to classes and home from the library late at night, much to your demise. 

“I should’ve known my dad was going to do something like this.” You complained when you saw the two boys waiting outside your dorm the first week of classes. “Thanks for coming. But you can tell my dad that I’m not going to be the freak being escorted by hockey jocks everyday.” 

“No can do, Doll.” Bucky says. “We leave you, we’re doing drills the rest of practice.” 

“Doll? What’re you? A 40s newscaster?” You say, with an annoyed expression walking passed the boys who just followed suit behind you. “Ugh, this is such bullshit. He literally begged me to go to Wilmington and promised I’d be able to have a ‘normal college experience’. What about this is fucking normal?”  

“I know it’s less than ideal but hey, we can make the best out of this.” Steve smiles. “I’m Steve, by the way.” He says extending a hand. 

You shake it. You couldn’t blame them for your dad not trusting you. “Y/N. You?” You asked the other boy next to you. 

“Bucky.” He provides. 

“Bucky?” You question. 

“Well, it’s James but my friends call me Bucky.” 

“And that’s what we are? Friends?” You ask. 

“Might as well be, since we’ll be seeing each other a lot this semester.” 

And that’s how your semi-unconventional friendship started. Pretty soon, even though your dad had eased up on the 24-hour watch, per your mom's request, you still found yourself walking and getting coffee with the two in the mornings. Even, found yourself waiting in the rinks watching practices so you could hang out afterwards and that became your life for the next two years. Now the three of you we’re entering your Junior year of college. Steve was right back in his title role of Captain, Bucky was now first string Left Wing and you were… still watching from the bleachers. You didn’t mind though, you grew to love the sport due to it being your dad’s profession. Hell, you were on skates before you could even walk. But you never found yourself on the women’s team, Hockey wasn’t something you really wanted to do. You still supported the girls team though, which is why you found yourself watching their practices too. 

“Hey, Y/N!” Carol said, skating to the end of the rink where you were sitting next to her girlfriend, Maria. A position you often found yourself in, entertaining player’s girlfriends while they practiced. Maria was cool though, at least you knew about the sport. 

“Hey, Marvel.” You called her by her nickname. Thing about Hockey is everyone was called by their nicknames. 

“You going to the Sigma Pi party later?” She asks. 

“Uh, no one told me about it.” You say, awkwardly. 

“I’m telling you now.” Carol says like it's obvious. “You never go out anymore and I refuse to let you become a cat lady before you turn 25. Come over ours at 7, we’ll pregame and head over at 9. What do you say?” 

“Fine, I’ll come.” You say. 

“Great!” Carol says, pumping a fist before signalling her girlfriend to come closer to the rink. You look away as they kiss. Couples made you uneasy, especially hockey couples. You wanted that more than anything, for your guy to skate up to the gate just to sneak a kiss from you. Not that dating anyone from the team was even an option with you dad coaching. The team saw you as a little sister and if anyone was caught even looking at you in any way, their ass was grass by either your dad or Bucky, who’d become protective of you over the years. 

“Marvel, stop flirting with your girlfriend and GET BACK ON THE ICE!” You heard your dad scream. 

“Sorry, Couch!” She called. “Sorry, baby i’ve gotta jet. Y/N, don’t forget. 7 o’clock!” She says before skating off. 

“I won’t!” You call after her. 

---------------------------------------------------------

You can’t help but look at yourself in the mirror awkwardly at the tight Satin dress your roommate, Wanda practically forced you in. You were just going to wear a sweater and jeans, your regular wardrobe but Wanda insisted everyone had seen you in that and what they haven’t seen is you in a dress. Especially, with your new body, you had gotten over the summer working at a sports camp. Who knew running after kids would be such a great form of exercise? 

Wanda also did your makeup, something you didn’t typically wear, giving you a natural glow eye, a layer of mascara, and sticky gloss that made your look ‘dewy’ as Wanda described it. You tried to keep your hair in the bun but Wanda insisted you keep your hair down. Saying it made you look hotter, you shrugged knowing you’d have to take her word for it. 

The two of you made your way to Carol and Maria’s apartment. Carol swung the door open and looked at you in surprise. “Woah, Ice Baby, you clean up nice.” 

“Don’t start, Marvel. And you know how I feel about being called that.” You hated the nickname but since you were the coach’s daughter and you stuck around the rink any chance you got, The seniors had started calling you Ice Baby your freshman year and the nickname unfortunately stuck long after they had gone. 

“Right, sorry, I always forget.” Carol said moving out the way for the two of you to come in. 

The four of you drink and play games until it’s time to head to the party. You’ve got a pretty strong buzz going as you enter the party and you regret the strappy heels Maria made you borrow before leaving. You’re sitting in the corner when someone comes to sit way too close to you. You look up to see Brock Rumlow, or Rum as the team liked to call him. 

“I almost didn’t recognize you, Ice Baby. You look good.” 

“My name is Y/N but thank you.” You say, annoyed. 

He holds his hands up in mock surrender “I forgot you hate that nickname. Let me bring you a drink to make up for it. What you want.” 

“Rum and coke, please.” 

“Oh, so you like Rum?” He says, obvious double entendre hanging off his tongue. 

“The drink? Yes.” 

“You’ll like the man soon enough.” He winks, smirking at the flush that spreads across your cheeks. 

The two of you spend the night like that. He brings you drinks and shamelessly flirts with you as you get drunker and drunker. The two of you even dance for a bit in the sea of grinding bodies. Soon you’re telling him a story and a hand drifts to your leg. You turn and he’s much closer to your face than you thought he was. 

“Wanna get out of here?” He asks. You nod but before you can even stand, Bucky is there towering over Brock.

“You can leave, Brock. But I’m taking Y/N home.” He says. 

Brock rolls his eyes. “Forgot you had a Winter Soldier guard dog. No worries, dude. I’m leaving anyway.” He says, before turning to you. “You’ve got my number, call me if you wanna hang this week.” He says, nodding to Bucky before walking away. 

“Ugh, Bucky. What was that for?” You whine, drunkenly. 

“You’re drunk. I’m taking you home.” Bucky says. “Come on, stand up.” 

You shakingly get up and Buck is there immediately under your arm, his arm around your waist helping you walk out. 

The cold breeze hits you as soon as you step foot out the party and take the long trek home. 

“I think I drank too much.” You point out. 

“You think, kid?” Bucky says. “You’re lucky, I was here meeting Sharon otherwise you would’ve been shit out of luck.” 

“Brock would’ve taken me home.” 

“Brock’s a lowlife. Don’t worry about him, I’ve got you.” 

You sigh. “Sorry for ruining your night with your girlfriend.” 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll call her when I make sure you get home so if you could pick up the pace.” 

“My feet hurt.” You complain. 

“Yea, I bet. God, when did you start wearing heels, Doll?” 

“I wanted to look good tonight.” You sigh. 

“You always look good.” 

“Fine, I wanted to look hot.” You provide. “For once, I wanted to be the one guys paid attention to at parties.” 

“You can be yourself for that, Y/N.” Bucky says. “You’re a catch.” 

“If I was, someone would’ve fucked me by now.” You drunkenly admit. That makes Bucky double-take. “I mean, think about it? 3 years into my college career, I turn 21 in a couple months and still it's where no man’s gone before down there.” 

“Y/N, are you saying you’re--” 

“A virgin? Yea, Bucky catch up.” You groan at the pain in your feet. Bucky looks and takes sympathy on you. 

“Here take off your shoes.” He says, toeing his off as well and sliding them over to you. 

“You’re just going to walk barefoot?” You ask, putting on the shoes, holding your heels in your hand. 

“Better than you walking barefoot.” He shrugs. 

“Anyway, I decided over the summer that maybe I was putting too much thought into it. I mean almost everyone loses their virginity in high school and it's never good, no one ever says their first time was good. I just thought maybe I should just, you know, get it over with.” You slur. “Which is what I was trying to do until you chased my date away. God, you always do that, Bucky.” 

“I’m not fighting with you while you’re drunk.” Bucky says, trying to get you to drop the subject but you persist. 

“Every time I try to talk to a guy, you butt in--” 

“Maybe I wouldn’t butt in if you picked the right guys for you.” 

“There’s nothing wrong with the guys I pick! You’re just a cockblock.” 

“That’s not true.” 

“Yea what about Charles? He asked me on a date freshman year and took it back not even an hour later. I had to beg Steve to tell me why and it turned out that you threatened him if he even thought about going out with me.” 

“Y/N, you had just turned 18 and X was a 24 year old senior! I didn’t trust how he was just waiting. So yea, I told him to fuck off. And Rum is an asshole who can’t get a girl to sleep with him unless they’re shitfaced. So yea, I told him to fuck off.” Bucky exclaims as the two of you make it up the stairs to your apartment. “Y/N, you’ll find someone right for you and that right person will make your first time special. I just want you to find someone who’ll make you happy.” 

“And I just want you to remember for next time that if you want to tell a girl who she can and can’t fuck, you have Sharon for that. Not me.” You said, taking off the shoes as you arrived at your front door. 

“Y/N, wait--” You hear him say but you don’t care, you slam the door in his face regardless. 

Who did Bucky think he was? Sure, he was your best friend but so was Steve and he’s not nearly as protective as Bucky was. You honestly couldn’t tell who was worse at this point, your dad or Bucky. You loved both of them but they had the fatal flaw of forgetting you weren’t a kid. You were a woman, a woman with needs. And one particular need you needed to get rid of.   

So you picked up your phone and called Brock. Bucky couldn’t be right about everything.

Taglist: @buckybarneshairpullingkink @riverofcrestmont @babymango-writes @astralsaf @gabi-socio @hereforalongtime512​

[judesstfrancis]

I just remembered your hockey project and I have to tell you I'm truly obsessed!! everything about it is impeccable and I'd love to learn more about your characters/worldbuilding. it's making me think real hard about my own stupid jock ocs and how much I love them too

omg yes!!! I love talking about my little hockey men so much

the main characters are vince darling, sammy aguilar, frank darling, and aj smith!

vince is the pov character and my darling babygirl love of my life. he's an nhl defenseman and everyone thinks he's a big mean guy bc he fights a lot on the ice and he's kinda quiet otherwise but honestly he's just a big softy. he loves kids and he has the biggest heart in the world, he's just bad at talking about pretty much everything but especially his feelings. and in his defense when he drops his gloves, people usually deserve it!

sammy is also an nhl defenseman as well as vince's love interest but neither of them knows that right away bc they are sworn enemies. first it's bc sammy is kind of a little asshole on the ice, chirping 24/7, just really getting into everyone's head. and vince thinks he's The Most Annoying man alive like honestly shut up for 2 seconds and play hockey damn. but then they're sworn enemies bc sammy gets traded to vince's team and gets an A on his jersey when everyone KNOWS it should've gone to aj like 4 years ago. he's pretty much vince's opposite in every way, bc he's really nice and personable in interviews and he's easy to laugh with but he is also just. so mean. he's a bitch at heart and I'm obsessed with him <3

frank is vince's four year old little girl!! mostly bc I'm obsessed with a good single dad story. her hobbies include: coloring, helping her aunt in the garden, and tormenting her dad's friend sammy. her full name is francis lynn darling but if u call her anything other than frank she WILL bite. sammy is the only one allowed to give her a different name, mouse, bc frank loves him a lot bc he is very silly and he makes her dad smile more than he usually does. what's better than a meddling four year old conspiring to get her dad a boyfriend, that's what I say

aj is vince's best friend, a first line center, and the man who's won the award for Most Underappreciated Player in the NHL for four years and counting. if u are familiar with #NHL101, that's basically aj. the fact that he's never made anyone's list is a crime, and vince basically almost starts a brawl with his own teammate during practice bc aj was passed up as alternate captain again for some guy who literally just got there and who vince doesn't even like very much. aj is very sweet, he's everyone's bestie, and he is the only one on the team that frank will let read her a bedtime story bc he does the voices perfectly every single time. (she let sammy read a bedtime story once, bc she loves him and she thinks her dad might too, but he was so bad at it she made him promise to never do it again.)

basic plot: vincent darling and sam aguilar are rival hockey players who hate each other. sort of. until they don't! vince is a sweet guy who doesn't really like to start any trouble unless it's necessary, and nine times out of ten the reason it's necessary is bc sammy said something stupid. again. sammy is charming, funny, and exceptionally hard to please. he doesn't really get along well with anyone. except for vince, for some reason? it's weird. vince gets a season ending injury about midway through the regular season and suddenly sammy is over, like, all the time. alternate captain stuff u know. just wants to make sure he's healing well and resting up and also do u need help with frank? (sammy is terrible with kids and everyone knows it this is a horrible excuse but no one will question it) they fall in love about it. the end <3

additional lore: I named aj after an online pseudonym I used when I was a very young teen! if u ever knew an avery jones on wattpad or the twilight saga dot com, hi! that was me. vince was named after ex carolina hurricanes goalie scott darling, bc I think darling is such a lovely surname and it lends itself very well to my rivals to lovers schemes. he was also named after the love interest of a book series I read a long time ago about revenants in paris whose first name was vincent and whose last name I can't remember, but the part that matters is that the character made me obsessed with the name vincent so now here he is my sweet cheese good time boy vince darling <3

thank u again for asking about them!! I have so much to say about them all the time they have stolen my heart

[dixie12]

Ok, but like I'm obsessed with the idea of 1988 getting together in their late thirsties. Not necessarily as hockey players. Maybe one of them known he's into men for a while and the other one had no idea men were an option for him ever. And all that sweet sweet slow burn self discovery going from friends to lovers. All the first times where they feel like there's not much in life they haven't seen yet...

ahhhh i love this idea so much!! i think it would be hard for me to write, because it would require a slow burn that i'm terrible at, but it does ring so true for them.

consider that we look at pat and jonny as OLD, and they are only 33! in any other aspect of life, that is still so young! i have med students i teach who are just starting school in their mid-30s- like there is soooo much more to come outside of hockey at this age.

i do think jonny will need some help transitioning out of hockey. there are some amazing fics about post-hockey jonny (my absolute favorite being the incomparable You and Me of the 10,000 Wars by sahiya) and i think they're fics that have a good bit of truth behind them. jonny is someone who is SO single-minded and so dedicated to hockey that i truly see him floundering when he doesn't have it anymore. i mean, there are quotes out there that his parents didn't let him do basic chores when he was a kid bc they were worried about him getting hurt and having it impact hockey.. so imagine taking that constant away, pretty much literally overnight, and what happens??

i try not to think too much about real-life pat and jonny, and their real life partners, but i think even that works in this scenario. pat has amanda and now the baby, so he has more of a support system for outside of hockey. BUT. his entire relationship with amanda has been during his playing career, and when he ultimately retires, that's going to be a seismic shift in their relationship. i went through a smaller version of that when covid hit- my partner transitioned to work from home and then lost his job, and it was HARD going from having him out of the house 8-6ish to being home quite literally 24/7 for 2 years straight. it was a legitimate strain on our relationship that we had to work at resolving.

so imagine pat and jonny retiring, and pat goes to live a "normal" suburban life with amanda, and jonny finds himself at loose ends. maybe he ends up back in arizona, or canada, or wherever he was during his convalescence. and he loses touch with some of the guys, starts to withdraw, and maybe no one has seen him in a while. and at the same time, pat and amanda are realizing that they don't work as a couple when pat is home full-time, so they amicably split.

the guys still have a group chat, and they realize that they really haven't been able to draw jonny out, so pat, seabs and sharpy plan a reunion (i think 20 years from their rookie season would work, timing-wise. that puts it in 2027-2028, which would give them a few more years to play and then retire). and jonny shows up, mainly because he knows he'll never hear the end of it if he doesn't. and he.. doesn't look good. and not just "not in playing shape" bc let's face it, none of them are 25 anymore. but he's pale and withdrawn, too thin, and his eyes are kinda dull.

and amanda's taking pk3, who is by now 7 or 8, to visit her family for the summer, so pat just follows jonny back to canada. and that's when jonny finally opens up (after a few drinks, or a joint) about how much he's been struggling without hockey. and pat wants to be there for jonny, so he stays. and they start to get closer, re-establishing a friendship they haven't really had in 15 years at this point.

[tomtenadia]

A Little Braver - Chapter 10

Evening everyone!

I have a present for you.

This lady here will be off on holiday for a week on Friday, so I thought about landing the new chapter tonight.

This one is a juicy one and I hope you will love it. A bit of fluff before the angst gremlin comes back for a visit.

This chapter comes with a smut warning. Yes, you read correctly. In the future I will be using FTB mostly because I find it difficult to write and keep it non cringy, but for this chapter I wanted to try and add some hotness.

Also, for those who haver read Island Dreams, I am heading to Lewis on my holiday, and i might post some photo of the locations mentioned in the fic.

Well, now i can let you enjoy the chapter

Aelin was at home sitting on the sofa, enjoying the food she had just ordered in, a bottle of beer and hockey. Her favourite team the Stags was playing an away game with the Skull’s Bay Pirates. 

The Stags were in the lead in the championship and the Pirates were just in second place, which made that game quite an important one. She was glad she had the night off although they would usually all camp in the communal area of the firehouse and watch the game all together. At least being at home meant she could have a beer.

Ice hockey in Terrasen was a religion. She had been a fan of the Stags since she was a kid and her dad would take her to the games. Then Aedion became her hockey buddy and once she joined the station she started sharing the passion with the rest of the team and they would also go and watch the games all together if possible.

She took a sip of her beer and kneeled on the sofa, the game was getting intense and she could not stand still.

In that instant her phone went off and she let out a curse.

“Oh for crying out loud.”

“What?” She answered while her eyes were glued to the tv.

“Good evening to you as well.” Rowan sounded almost offended by her brisk tone.

“Whitethorn, I am watching the game.”

“Uh?”

Aelin groaned as something happened on the screen and the Pirates almost scored.

“Ice hockey, Whitethorn. You have been in Terrasen enough to know it’s a religion here.”

He replied with a low chuckle. Then she heard him move and then all of a sudden a noise in the background and realised he had his tv on “wonder if they show it here. Wendlyn is not big on ice hockey.”

“You can tell. Their team sucks.” She drank a bit more “I can tell you that we are winning for now against the Pirates.”

“That’s the big match of the season I am gutted I am missing it.”

Aelin got agitated and swore a few times during some actions.

“You are a very scary woman.” She heard him switch off the tv “do you want me to call later?”

“No,” she said softly. She was actually quite happy. Since he had left three days before they had talked quite a lot over the phone at night and she had started to love their ritual. He was the one calling once he was free and she loved that new dynamic of theirs.

“How was your day training?”

“Oh, just wonderful. I spend my days dealing with cocky idiots who think they are gods because they have been admitted to flight school. Then they go ahead, mess up the exercise for everyone, almost get killed and have no respect for rank.”

She let him vent “sounds like you have a bad class.”

Rowan sighed loudly “I have been a flight instructor for six years. I had a few bad apples along the way, but this class is hopeless.”

“Can you do something about it?” She was still following the game but her attention had shifted to him. He sounded quite down.

“I reported them to the academy Commandant. I explained that starting flight school with the wrong foot was not recommended.” Another sigh “In the end it’s their school and they can do whatever they want. I don’t care. Being reckless in a jet is like jumping into a fire in t-shirt and shorts.”

“That would be very bad.”

“I know what the fuck I am doing. I have been doing this for the past 12 years. I have been in combat. Real bloody combat. Those idiots have only seen simulators. What do I need to do to be taken seriously?” He was really mad and Aelin wished she could do something for him.

“Ro, two weeks and a half and you are out. You are back with your team and students that you like.”

“How’s the game going?” He changed the topic, clearly being done talking about it.

“We increased our lead.”

She heard a popping sound “did you just crack open a beer?”

“Oh yes, I need it.”

Aelin smiled “I am having one too. Brullo has this friend who opened a brewery and I bought a few bottles and they are so good.”

“You have such connections and don’t even tell me?”

“I am sorry your highness.”

“You are excused this time. But don’t make it happen again.”

Aelin laughed “what are you going to do? Spank me?” And she froze. She should really need to learn to connect brain and mouth.

“Depends, will you like it?” His reply surprised her so much that she froze with the bottle halfway to her mouth. 

“You just have to hang around and see for yourself.”

He moaned “I will need to get back to you on this.”

“Will it help you decide if I tell you that I am wearing a hockey jersey and nothing underneath? I just had a shower…”

“Aelin…”

“What? Are you interested all of a sudden?”

“Obviously.” He groaned.

“I am teasing you, I have clothes on, but good to see where you stand.”

She heard him groan in frustration “you really are a menace and I don’t know why I bother with you.”

“You don’t have to stay on the phone if I irritate you so much. You are the one who called.” She bit back. Why they always end up fighting?

“I did not mean it like that.”

“Well then go and learn how to communicate with people because I am sick and tired of your attitude.” Her tone had grown angrier.

“Aelin, please. I was joking.” His voice was thick with sadness.

“No, I am so fucking tired of this.”

“Why can’t you believe that I was joking? Why do you always believe that I hate you?” He shouted back “I have been quite supportive with you recently. I have flown in to stay beside you after you lost a colleague. You have a problem with my attitude?” He vented “well, yours is not any better either.”

Aelin sighed “Rowan, why do we always end up like this?” She lay down on the sofa, the game completely forgotten “we had a nice conversation and then it always gets ugly between us.”

“I am sorry…” he paused and meant it “I have been looking forward to calling you. I had such a bad day that knowing I was going to phone you kept me going. I didn’t want any of this. I did not want to fight with you.”

“We are both bad at communicating.” She relaxed a bit. She did not want to fight with him either. And he was right, he had been supportive and amazing. Then she had an idea “Ro, I have four days of holidays coming up. I booked them ages ago, I had plans but they went to hell. Would it be crazy if I flew to Wendlyn? I will play tourist when you work and be out of your way, but what do you think?”

“I’d love that. Very much. It really sucks here.”

“It’s for this Friday. I known it’s short notice—” he interrupted her.

“No, it’s perfect. I don’t have a class this Friday, I can pick you up at the airport. Have Saturday and Sunday as tourists and I assume you are flying back on Monday.”

“Yes.” Her heart started racing. It was a crazy plan, but all of a sudden she was excited.”Let me check my roster, because if I finish at a decent time I can fly in Thursday night so we have three full days. Do you think you can manage that?”

“Happily.”

“Ok, stay there Buzzard, I am putting you on speaker phone.”

She ran to the kitchen and had a look at the calendar on her fridge with her roster and cheered loudly.

“Whitethorn,”

“What?”

“I come off shift at four. Now let me check for planes.”

She went to get her laptop and sat back on the sofa, “do you know any good airlines for Wendlyn?”

He laughed “Yes, my own plane.”

“Funny. Us common mortals don’t have that privilege.”

“I have no idea, Fireheart, I haven’t flown commercial in a lifetime.”

“Fine.” Aelin was silent for a few minutes typing away and looking for flight options. “Ok,” she said after a while “I can get one flight that gets me into Doranelle at 10.45pm your time, is it too late?”

“I guess I will postpone my nap.” He joked and she laughed back. He suddenly relaxed. The fight had been verging on vicious and he had not cared for that.

“On Monday I can fly back with a noon flight.”

“That one is perfect. I can drive you back to the airport and be back in time for my class.”

Aelin smiled wickedly “great, give me five minutes while I book it. Go and do grampa stuff in the meantime.”

“I am not a grampa.” Aelin heard him munching on something. Knowing him it was probably a carrot.

“Ok, now I need to find a place where to stay.”

“My flat?” He added shocked that she would think about staying anywhere else “Aelin, I have a flat. It has a second bedroom. And you don’t have to worry about giving me anything because it’s a flat owned by the airforce. It’s not a castle but it’s nice. You are not paying for a hotel.”

“Are you sure? Three days with me 24/7. That’s a lot of fighting.” She asked. She loved the idea, but wasn’t sure yet if they could survive that long in close quarters without killing each other.

“Perhaps we can leave the fighting aside and work on us?”

Aelin was silent for a moment “Us? As in…”

“As in more than two idiots fighting and pining for each other.”

Her heart pounded in her chest “Yeah, that would be intelligent, wouldn’t it?”

“Definitely.”

“But that’s a conversation for when you are here.”

Aelin smiled. She could not believe it was actually happening.

Rowan yawned over the phone “This grampa here would like to go to bed now. It’s quite late here.”

“Okay,” she said softly.

“I am looking forward having you here.”

Aelin hugged the pillow all excited “me too. Good night, Buzzard.”

“Good night, menace.”

Aelin squealed and threw the pillow at the other end of the living room in utter joy.

Thursday had finally arrived. Aelin thought the day would never come and that time had slowed down on purpose just to annoy her.

“Aedion you are in charge while I am away, will you be fine?”

The man was driving her to the airport “I will be. Go and enjoy your break. We will cope.”

“Ok, you know you can always call Dorian. He can come out on a call.” She was nervous. She hadn’t been away from the firehouse on holiday since before Sam died and was worried about her team.

“Stop fussing. We will be fine. You need a holiday. You haven’t been away in a lifetime. You deserve this.”

She breathed out, relaxing at his words. She knew she could trust Aedion and Dorian had given her his blessing too. 

“Just tell airforce boy to behave or I’ll scratch his toy plane.”

Aelin laughed. Rowan seemed to have a problem with the army but Aedion’s dislike seemed just as strong. To her it was just hilarious.

They arrived at the airport, she grabbed her duffel bag and backpack from the backseat and went to hug Aedion “thank you for driving me.”

“Let me know when you land on Monday and I will come and pick you up again.” And he hugged her back.

They parted and Aelin walked into the airport with a spring in her step and the biggest smile ever.

Rowan realised he had arrived at the airport a bit too early. He was so eager to see her that he had arrived with an hour to spare. He was a thirty year old man giddy like a child waiting for winter solstice presents. Considering their track record, three days together could go down in flame or be a success. A part of him was definitely anxious at the prospect, but when Aelin had suggested the idea he had no doubts. He wanted to do it.

Bored, he paced the arrivals section when a woman walked past him and her trolley ran onto his feet. He almost shouted at the woman but then decided to ignore it.

He viewed airports as pure madness. Utter chaos and he hated them. The good thing about his job was that if he had to travel for work he could use his jet. And when he used to travel with Lyria they had always driven. Now he remembered why he had avoided those places of pure chaos.

He moved to the big window where he could see the runaway and for a while studied the airplanes. One of his ex squadron mates after retiring from the airforce had become an airline pilot and on plenty of occasion had tried to convince him to join him, but Rowan always declined. There was little enjoyment in flying that way. 

While staring at the aircrafts landing and taking off, his hand was tapping on the handrail with excessive energy. 

He huffed a puff and and bored kept wandering around the airport. He had alway considered himself a decently patient man, but in that moment he felt as if he could not wait any longer. Had to really tell himself that she was coming and that it was not his imagination playing tricks on him. 

Luckily by the time his wandering was over, the arrivals notice board had changed the status of her flight to on approach and he went in front of the arrival section, knowing full well it would still be ages before her entrance. 

Forty minutes later he saw her and he was positive he now had the most stupid grin on his face. He recognised her golden mane tied up in a complicated braid. Gods, she was stunning and Rowan did his best not to drool too much.

She was dressed in simple jeans and a hoodie from the Terrasen Fire department and he chuckled. He waved at her and called as well.

Her smile when she spotted him could have lit up the night sky and he was positive his heart had just skipped a beat. 

Quickly an eagerly he walked to her, making his way through the crowd that had gathered.

She ran to him, then dropped her bags on the floor and in an instant she was in his arms. He lifted her up and kissed her. Not caring about the consequences. She was there. That’s all he cared about.

She kissed him back and for a while they were the couple that meets again after a long time apart and could not keep away from each other.

“You are here.” He said kissing her again and then brushed her hair in a tender gesture.

She smiled at him and slowly slid down from his arms.

He bent down and grabbed her bags “let’s go. You must be tired.”

Aelin took his hand and he did not pull away “the flight was crap. As soon as we hit the ocean it was bumpy as hell.��

Rowan chuckled “those civilian pilots struggling to handle a bit of wind.”

With her free hand she pinched his side “Meanie.” She told him “and it was bad and scary.”

He kissed her head “be glad that you have never experienced what a really terrifying flight his.” His voice was sad for a moment and Aelin squeezed his hand back.

“My car is over there.” They reached his vehicle and he dumped her stuff in the trunk.

It was fifteen minutes later when they reached his flat.

“I am a bit outside town but I love it. Much easier to go to work as I don’t have to drive through the centre. Saves me so much time.”

They entered the building and Rowan headed for the lift but Aelin stopped “pet peeve of mine. I don’t take lifts. I have saved enough people trapped in them, that now I don’t use them at all.”

“It’s eight floors, Aelin.” He complained.

“It’s good for your butt. Let’s go grampa.” Aelin grabbed the duffel bag and backpack from him and threw them on her shoulder and made her way to the stairs.

He realised that she was used doing stairs. But he was lazy and always used the lift.

“I am taking my chances.”

Aelin grabbed his hand and pulled him away “Don’t be an idiot. Come on.”

He protested but in the end caved.

Aelin relentlessly climbed on for eight floors and Rowan followed a few steps behind cursing that he had chosen to fall for a super fit firefighter.

“I can tell you some horror storie that will put you off forever from using them.” She told him while climbing the steps two at a time.

When they finally reached his floor, Aelin wasn’t even tired, Rowan instead was ready to strangle her.

“Come on grampa, I am sure your butt and your heart are thanking you right now.”

“Move.” She moved aside and let him open the door of his flat.

Once in, he flicked the lights on and Aelin looked around. The living room was spacious, from one door she could see a kitchen but what stunned her were the floor to ceiling windows at the end of the living room and the view. She dumped the bag and walked there and went to the windows.

“This is amazing.” He stopped at her side “Doranelle is called the City of Rivers. It’s not as beautiful as Orynth but it has its charming spots.” He explained with flat voice.

“Well, from up here it’s pretty cool.” Below her lay a sea of lights, then looking more carefully, she noticed the dark areas and assumed those were the rivers. She was looking forward to see that sight during the day.

Rowan pulled her arm “come on, you must be knackered, I’ll show you to your bedroom.”

She followed him into the room and smiled when she saw the bed. It looked so cozy.

She looked at him smiling “Orynth is a few hours behind so I am actually quite fine.” Gently she pinched his arm “you are trying to get rid of me.”

“I was just being considerate. You flew here after your shift.”

In one step she was close to him “I am quite hungry, though.”

Rowan laughed and patted her head “I knew it so I made something that just could go back in the microwave. Give me five minutes.”

“I’ll go and get changed in the meantime.”

It was much later when she was finally full and she and Rowan were now sitting on the sofa watching some tv. She had curled up her legs under her and his hand was absentmindedly tracing up and down the length of her exposed leg. It was much warmer than Orynth so she was wearing shorts and a baggy t-shirt.

She turned to look at him and saw Rowan concentrated on the documentary they had been watching. His face was relaxed, the tension had left his body and the sight of him like that took her breath away. His features always had an hard edge, but in that moment, relaxed, she could not look away. 

“Do I have something on my face?” A half smile appeared on his face.

“No.” She shimmied down to his side and leaned her head on his shoulder and he adjusted his position so she could be comfortable.

“You know I am not a pillow, right?”

In challenge, Aelin snuggled closer and her arms went around his waist. Rowan brought one arm around her shoulder and squeezed it almost in a silent gesture to tell her it was okay. He pulled her so close she was almost on his lap and in instant later his lips were on hers in a demanding kiss. 

Aelin sighed in delight and melted in the kiss. Rowan’s hands sneaked under the t-shirt touching skin. The kiss turned avid, all teeth and tongue and eventually she found herself straddling him. 

Her hips ground against his in a suggestive motion and a wicked smile spread across her lips when she felt him hard against her. Fingers found their target in his hair, and with a gentle tug she angled his neck and her lips began tracing its lines eliciting a loud moan from Rowan. 

His strong hands were a steady presence on her sides, pulling her closer with his thumbs brushing timidly the underside of her breasts.

Rowan’s tongue slowly traced the shape of her lips and she opened for him and when he intensified the kiss she began pondering what that tongue of his could do somewhere else. That image was her undoing. Aelin came up for breath and looked at him, his eyes smoky with lust.

She looked at him with the same desire and she was positive he had noticed the need in her stare as well.

Then Aelin stood and removed her t-shirt revealing her bare torso. She moved a step back and without ever removing her gaze from him she wiggled her finger in an invitation, then turned and swayed her hips on her way to his bedroom.

Rowan ran a hand down his face and eventually stood and followed her.

Shit. He was in such deep, unending shit.

It was the middle of the night and both Rowan and Aelin were still awake. They lay naked under the blankets while she was nested in his embrace, her head tucked under his chin, while he traced lazy lines on her back with his fingers.

She looked up at him and noticed his downcast stare. He looked sad and could not understand why. They just had some mind-blowing sex. Three times. 

“Hey, what is it?” She asked him, caressing his face.

He shook his head gently “nothing. Just thinking.”

“You are regretting this,” she said in accusation sitting up beside him.

Rowan threw an arm on his face and sighed “No.”

“Liar, that is not the face of someone who is happy after getting laid three times.” She folded her arms at her chest. 

He remained silent and Aelin bent over to grab her clothes “don’t worry. I get it. I’ll leave you to it. I’ll find a flight home tomorrow.”

His arm shot out and stopped her, then he sat on the bed and pulled her back “please, no.”

“Then talk to me, damn it.” She threw her clothes back on the floor “I can’t read your mind.” She shouted back frustration rising again. 

Rowan’s hands fisted for a brief moment “I am crazy about you,” he whispered, as if terrified by the admission “and there is a part of me that tells me that is wrong. Reminds me that I lost my wife a year and half ago and I should not replace her so quickly, not after I swore forever love at the altar.” he sat at her side but never looked at her, too scared of her reaction “I loved every single of minute we had together tonight but my stupid conscience keeps telling me that is wrong.” He lowered his head “and I know that my guilt will ruin everything, eventually.”

Aelin fully turned to him and cupped his face “Ro, look at me.” He lifted his eyes and stared in the blue depths of her own eyes “for some crazy unexplained reason I fell for you as well. I think I must be crazy,” she chuckled “I know your pain. Sam was not my husband but almost. After I lost him I promised myself I would not commit anymore. The pain of losing him was so bad that I decided I’d rather remain alone than suffer again.” She told him, caressing his cheek with her thumb “then you annoying bastard came along and destroyed all my resolutions. I wanted to hate you, for so many reasons, but the more I tried to do that, the more I failed.” His lips twitched in a faint smile “the way I see it, moving on is not a betrayal on your wife. You will alway love her, as I will always have a space for Sam. We are in our early thirties, what do you want to do? Stay celibate and miserable for the rest of your life? Pass on opportunities just because you want to be faithful to her?” She explained “also, and I do not mean this to be disrespectful, but didn’t she have divorce papers ready and a plan to cut you off from your kid’s life?”

Rowan collapsed back on the bed and sighed heavily. She was right. He had loved Lyria but she had planned to leave him. “what do you want to do?”

She looked at him with a puzzled expression.

“About us.”

Aelin leaned against him and snuggled back to his chest “one step at a time, remember?” She looked at him and his wonderful green eyes shone in joy “and if my memory does not fail me, you told me you were all in if I were.”

Rowan nodded gently and kissed her head “I still am.”

“Well, we have covered sex, even if we broke the rules, and we know that in that field we have plenty of chemistry, we just need to learn to talk without shouting and communicate better. We both have lots of baggage. What I suggest is that we spend these three days playing couple and once you come back we’ll just go from there.”

His arms folded around her and pulled her as close as possible, her golden hair in his face and the scent of lavender enveloping his senses “I think I like this plan.”

“Good, now let’s sleep though. It’s the middle of the night.”

Aelin kissed him and not long after fell asleep in his arms.

Rowan woke up the following morning and smiled at the warm body at his side. Aelin was sprawled on him, using his chest like a pillow. The blanket had fallen down to her waist and he realised they had fallen asleep naked. With his fingers he traced gentle lines on her shoulders, then leaned over and deposited a few kisses fully inhaling her scent. She moaned and slowly came to awareness and when she realised where she was she gave him a wonderful smile and he kissed her, fully, avidly.

“Someone looks happy,” she joked brushing his short hair.

“Nope, just trying to get back my side of the bed.”

She gently patted his shoulder but Rowan rolled on top of her and gave her a deep kiss “good morning, you.”

She stretched luxuriously in his arms then she kissed him back pulling her body close to his.

“Mmmm,” she moaned “morning wood or are you just happy to have me with you?”

He kissed her, then his head dipped in the hollow of her neck and his tongue traced the length of it “both.”

“We should definitely tend to it.” She teased and a moment later she straddled him “I do like being in charge, just so you know.” She leaned forward and kissed him, then disappeared under the blankets and Rowan cursed as soon as her mouth was on him.

Rowan stood and still naked went to make breakfast. They had remained in bed much longer that he had planned but it had been totally worth it. Their chemistry in the sheets was definitely perfect. Aelin followed him and she leaned, naked as well, against the counter. He bent forward and kissed her “we definitely need coffee.” She turned and Rowan looked at her, her long blond hair unbound and reaching her lower back. Along ragged breath escaped from him, then he went back to preparing breakfast. Staring at her naked form could lead to more dillydallying and he wanted to take her out to explore.

She walked back to him with two mugs of coffee while he finished to prepare French toast.

“Take the strawberries out the fridge, please.”

“I usually put maple syrup on.”

Rowan rolled his eyes “well, I am making them so we follow my rules.”

She pinched his butt “brute.”

Five minutes later they were sitting on the sofa, enjoying their breakfast. She brushed his hair with her hand. “Thank you for this. It was so lovely.” She placed her empty mug on the coffee table together with her plate and she turned to him fully and went for a kiss. Now that they had crossed that line she could not keep her hands off him. He pushed her down on the sofa, laying on her back and he kneeled between her legs. She propped herself on her elbows opening more for him and bit her lower lip at his lustful glance “you are so cute like this…” his voice rough with need.

Without ever averting her gaze she brought a finger to her mouth and slowly sucked it in a suggestive gesture, then her hand trailed down along her abdomen.

“Touch yourself.” At the same time his hand went around himself and started moving up and down while watching Aelin. Her fingers circled around her sensitive spot and he saw her threw her head backward and close her eyes. Her mouth slightly open. He leaned forward and kissed her, his tongue brushing her lips before clashing with hers. Her fingers buried inside her and Rowan lost it. He pushed her all the way down “I can’t fucking resist you.”

She looked up at him and smiled wickedly “then bury your dick inside me, captain.”

Rowan lifted her and walked back to the bedroom in a quick motion. 

His mouth landed on her breasts and Aelin’s hands kept him there, while he sucked and teased with his teeth. A moment later he moved away and went for the drawer grabbing a tie and Aelin lifted her arms above her head as soon as she realised his intentions. 

“This is very interesting, captain…”

Rowan very gently tied her hands to the boards of the head of the bed and then sat on his haunches to stare at her naked form in adoration.

“You are stunning,” he said while slowly caressing her belly. Keeping her hips in place he bent forward and his face disappeared between her legs which then quickly propped on his shoulders.

A savage moan left Aelin’s lips as his tongue found its target on her bundle of nerves and when he teased her with a finger she was all ready to combust.

“Fuck Ro— ” he cut her words with a second finger inside her. Those long digits that curled inside her, causing her legs to jerk while she felt the pressure build inside her. The orgasm creeping up quickly.

“I need you….” She told him breathlessly.

Rowan smiled, undid her ties and turned her around and then tied her again. He grabbed her butt and propped it up and his mouth was on her in an instant “you are so wet and ready for me.”

He went up on his knees and aligned himself with her entrance. His first thrust was gentle and enough to allow her to get used to him, he pulled back just a little and slammed into her to the hilt.

“More…” Cried Aelin grabbing the pillow and fisting her hands in it.

“More…” she begged him again.

His speed increased and Aelin felt her core tighten.

Rowan reached with his finger and teased her clit at the same time. Aelin moaned in the pillow as his ministration grew in intensity, until she could not hold it any longer and pleasure exploded in her making her crash over the edge. And while she was about to collapse into oblivion, she realised that Rowan hadn’t joined her in his release.

The grip on her hips grew stronger and she knew she was going to carry some marks. She met his thrusts and when his pace became frenzied she knew he was close as well. 

“Aelin, I am— ” he groaned loudly as he spilled into her and then collapsed exhausted on her back. He deposited gentle kisses on her back then collapsing exhausted at her side.

Rowan untied her then he took her hand and brought it to his chest “you are a wicked woman.”

Aelin chuckled “I had no idea I had it in me. I never… I mean Sam and I we never… this way, tied hands and all..…” Rowan brought her hand to his lips “Lyria and I did it, at the very beginning. Then it stopped and we calmed down until it became mechanical just because we were married. Once she found out she was pregnant she did not allow me to touch her at all.” He rolled over, facing her and his hand caressed her face “I thought it was because she was not well but…” he sighed “I haven’t told this to anyone but I suspected she was cheating on me.” He confessed and felt lighter. He had kept that to himself for a very long time “and to make things worse, I have a very, very strong feeling that the child was not mine. I think she lied to me on how far along she was.” He closed his eyes for a moment in a pained expression “I know she had stopped being happy about our life for a while. Whatever I did was not enough. She wanted me to retire and give up my job.”

Aelin extended her hand and brushed his cheek with the top of her hand “but she knew from the beginning what you were and what you job entailed?”

“Yes, I was clear from the start. Explained that my job took me away from months on end and all the dangers involved in it as well.” He closed his eyes enjoying the touch of her hand on his face “I think she hoped I would drop my career after we got married.”

“I loved her. I did all I could to show her that I was doing my best to keep the promise I made her at the altar.” He covered her hand with his “I failed her.”

“No,”Aelin whispered, this was conversation was giving her an insight into him and she realised she had no idea of how much pain and regret he was keeping bottled in him.

“I can’t fail you as well.” And she heard his voice break and snuggled closer to him “Ro, look at me.” She pulled his chin down to her “I am all in. I want to be all in. I am terrified, but I run into fires as a job, I know how to control my fears.”

He kissed her in a heartbreaking sweet kiss “I don’t deserve you.” His voice soft.

Aelin cackled “No one does, I am amazing that way. But you come pretty close to being worthy.” She joked and he kissed her back.

Rowan pulled away from her and then pushed her off the bed “come on, time to explore.”

Her blonde head emerged from the side of the bed “shower is mine.” And she bolted for the bathroom, he ran as well but once he got there she slammed the door in his face.

“Don’t spend half an hour in it.” He shouted. Then the door cracked open a little and her hand darted out “there is space for two…”

Rowan laughed and followed her inside.

The shower took much longer than expected and when they finally left the flat it was much later that he had planned. The whole morning had been totally worth it though, they had talked and he had a feeling it had helped move their complicated relationship in the right direction. He had even confessed her things he had never mentioned to anyone. He felt like he could trust her. She knew loss and darkness like he did.

They had lunch at one of the street vendors he had grown to love and now they were walking hand in hand along one of the the rivers and off toward the palace. Aelin walked silent at his side, taking in the city. “That’s the old royal palace.” He pointed at the stunning building they could see in the distance. “There was a monarchy once… and then the people rebelled and it got ugly and it went down and a government similar to what we have in Orynth was created.”

“The palace looks stunning.”

“I think they do tours to go inside. It’s where the government resides now but some areas are open to the public.”

“It’s fine I’d rather walk around and see the city. We can just see the palace from the outside.”

“As you wish,” his arm went around her shoulder and the feeling was incredible.

They walked to the palace and Rowan guided her behind it. When they arrived she was speechless. “It really is the city of rivers.”

Eight of them joined just behind the palace to form a gigantic basin with isles in the middle full of trees. In some parts the rivers went down a wall forming a waterfall.

“This is… gorgeous…” then she looked over and the spray of the waterfall had formed a beautiful rainbow “look,” she said to him pointing ahead.

He pulled her closer and kissed her temple “It’s quite an amazing corner this one.”

Aelin disentangled from him and walked around the area for a while and Rowan took photos of her. She was wearing an amazing green dress with a flowy skirt and he could not keep his eyes off her. 

“Come here you.” He did as he was told and joined her. “Hold me from behind.”

His arms went around her waist and they both gave their back to the basin. Aelin moved her phone so they both could be in the picture together with the magnificent background.

When she was about to click he kissed her temple.

Aelin looked at the photo “I am gorgeous.”

Rowan scoffed “I think you are the one who should move in with ego, although I think that in your case he needs a house on his own.”

She ignored him while she changed the picture as her phone background.

“I am pretending you never said anything.” And walked away from him.

Rowan laughed and a moment later he grabbed her arm and pulled her in for a kiss “Indeed you are stunning, captain.”

Aelin offered him her hand “shall we continue our tour?”

He took the hand she offered and they continued their exploration. They made their way to the area that was known as the historical one. The houses were built in stone of different colours and it looked very charming “here there are a lot of lovely small shops and some very cozy restaurants. It’s probably the most beautiful part of Doranelle.”

They continued walking until they reached a very colourful area “this is so pretty,” said Aelin pulling him toward the built up area.

Aelin dropped his hand and started walking toward all the small shops. She noticed a bakery and she walked in and Rowan followed in silence. Once inside he noticed she was busy chatting with the owner about their delicacies. Five minutes later she joined him with a bag in her hands.

“Did you buy the entire shop?”

She inclined her head and gave him a smile “almost.”

They reached the main square and discovered there was a market on and the place was full of stalls and food vendors. The air smelled of spices and food and Aelin stopped at every food stall enjoying some samples of the local food and buying some as well. Rowan followed her in silence and enjoyed seeing her relaxed.

“Are you going to spend you entire salary on food?” He joked, placing a hand on her lower back.

She turned and looked at him “I am on holiday Whitethorn, shush.”

They reached the end of the road and Aelin stopped in front of a clothes shop. In the window they had the most stunning black dress she had ever seen. She took Rowan’s hand and dragged him in.

“Hi, I saw the black dress in the window, is it possible for me to try it on? It’s stunning.”

“Of course,” said the shop owner “I make all the dresses myself.” She passed it to Aelin and pointed to the changing room.

Rowan sat on a chair and waited for her while his mind tried to picture her in the dress. When she finally emerged again he realised he had no idea how to picture her in such a dress. He swallowed hard as she walked to him.

“What do you think?” She turned to give him a full picture. The back of the dress dropped in a curve halfway down her back. It hugged her curves spectacularly and it had a cut up to above her knee. He was close to a heart attack.

“You… it’s…” he actually had no words “you are perfect.”

She smiled at him and for a brief second Rowan wished they were back in his room because he wanted to show her in another way what he really thought about it.

“Good, I am taking it. I will find an occasion to wear it.”

Once they were outside Aelin looked at him “did you really like the dress?”

Rowan wound his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, his mouth close to her ear “I had so much fun imagining all the possible ways for me to peel that dress off you.” 

“That’s the type of dress I would wear completely naked underneath by the way…”

He pulled her to his chest and bowed down for a kiss “I really hate that we are in public right now.”

She kissed him back. She was loving this side of him. One she had not expected him to have. He always appeared so composed and impossible to fluster. But under the captain’s mask she was discovering him to be quite a very interesting man. 

“You can ravish me tonight.” She added smiling against his lips and then walked away, leaving him alone and dumbstruck.

Yes, they could make it work.

She really wanted to.

TAGS

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[barnes-brain]

I love what you said about baseball and it being a romantic game cause yeah. YEAH. And there's also something so so special about it from a not so player based view, like, the long summer afternoons and evenings at the ballpark and the generally friendly, electric atmosphere at every game and all the traditions and just the everything about it that you just don't get at other sporting events, imo. Even watching from home, or listening to it on the radio like I kinda love to is just so much more intimate and lovely than other sports. I wish that I could explain it better to folks who haven't felt it themselves, but it feels like so much of our culture these days is so focused on faster paced, immediate gratification sports and just entertainment in general as opposed to the longer haul season that you kind of have to build a relationship with, as well as one with a team to follow, and this rising drama and (usually) excitement for the world series and idk. Baseball is just so personal and I love it but it can be hard to share. Plus, all the math probably doesn't help :/

~Rockies

Hey Rockies!

Exactly! With 162 games, and only 24 players on a roster? It’s like spending 8ish months at school, or when you’re a kid at summer camp. You might only get to know the baseball side of things? But you get to know those players, you cheer for them, celebrate their wins, feel their losses. Each player can and does contribute to the game. Like I might just not watch enough football, but I don’t see defensive ends getting interviewed after games (Again please someone correct me if I’m wrong) You don’t see defensemen in hockey getting interviewed often, but with 162 games? More than likely you’re going to have 5-10 interviews with every single player.

That builds an atmosphere of care and compassion that I don’t see in other sports (again fuck the dodgers because that stadium is DANGEROUS). And I think a lot of that is because of the age of the game. It’s not the oldest game out there, but it’s the oldest in the US (of the big four Lacrosse is actually older as it originated from the Native Americans) and having that tradition that you mentioned is built into the fabric of the game. I’ve been to Busch stadium once in the past 7 years because I don’t live close, but I’ve gone to my local stadium, and they welcome me in with a Cardinals jersey just as much as if I was wearing one of theirs. You make friends at the stadium, no matter who you root for, yeah there might be some joking around, but ultimately, there’s a very real risk that you could be sitting next to that person for 4 hours if it goes into extras. and there’s a bigger chance that for 6 out of the 9 innings nothing is going to happen.

As far as the math goes… I always suggest learn the positions, learn the rules before learning the maths. Get into the minor league system (at least AAA) get to know some oof the upcoming players, because if you know them, you’ll want to see them succeed, and watching them do so is… it’s pretty magical. Lars Nootbaar has a place in my heart because I started paying attention to the minors last 2ish years ago. And I told my mom last year I said “Ma, he’s going to be good, he’ll get called up this year.” And sure enough he did, and now he’s my little Nootsie and I would die for that cinnamon roll.

But if you’re not a huge baseball fan and reading this for some reason. Don’t be afraid of googling something (or reaching out to me) to ask what a stat is. And don’t worry too much about the math. I can look at a batting average and tell you if it’s good or not, but I can’t tell you how to calculate it, and this has been a part of my life forever.

[matsbarzal]

Time’s a Ticking || Matthew Tkachuk

Notes: anyways I decided to do matty and I found this long list of soulmate AU prompts so I know what I’m doing tonight yikes. so here’s a lil bit of a nervous/anxious matty even tho he refuses to admit it. hope you enjoy!!! let me know how you like it <3 

Summary: everyone is born with a dwindling time on their wrist. the moment the time reaches zero is when a person meets their other half, the person who makes them whole; their soulmate. 

Word Count: 3k+

10,584. 7 days, 8 hours and 24 minutes. 7 days until he’d meet his other half, the person that’s meant to complete his soul, be his better half, or whatever a soulmate is meant to be. Matthew wasn’t crazy about the idea of soulmates, sure, he was surrounded by people who were madly in love and happy and complete; but he was also surrounded by those people... the one’s whose time stopped, girls and guys who had a permanent marking of time on their wrist that would never move again.

He wouldn’t say he was a pessimistic person, but he had seen so many friends and family fall into a spiral after their soulmate clock stopped ticking, watched as their other half broke them without even meeting them. He wanted to be excited and optimistic but Matthew couldn’t bring himself to feel the same delight that his friends did on his behalf. Anything could happen in this 7 days, 8 hours... and 22 minutes now.

6160 minutes

You could feel the bump of the plane as it touched the ground. This was the one part of flying you hated the most, the anxiety and the bumping as the plane made its way down the runway towards its destination. You knew anything bad was unlikely to happen, but your nerves were on edge. All you could think about was the time on your wrist, the time that kept on ticking. It hadn’t stopped in your entire 21 years of life, and from the looks of it, you were approximately four days away from that happening.

Sighing, you listened to the claps from around you as everyone congratulated the pilots for landing the plane safely. Around you, people stood up and began collecting their belongings, grabbing their bags from the overhead compartments as the chatter continued in the cabin.

You politely smiled at the man beside you as he passed you down your bag, a quick “Thank you” leaving your lips as he gestured for you to walk in front of him towards the exit. 

Originally, you hadn’t had any intention of leaving Alberta for the holiday break, but your parents had practically begged you to come home for the holiday’s, citing the fact you had remained in Lake Louise for the last year and that they had only seen you once since you made the choice to unravel everything you knew by packing a few bags and moving halfway across the country to Alberta to work at some fancy ski resort in the mountains. 

It was originally only meant to be a few months worth of work, waitressing in Lake Louise at a 5-star resort that is, and then time kept going by, and the more and more you fell in love with not only the scenery, but the people. Everyone was happy there, tourists were always excited and polite, everyone just wanted the chance to see the Lake, skate on the Lake, whatever it was. No one was ever unhappy here, and you loved that. 

You were pulled out of your thoughts as the line in front of you continued to move quickly, people eager to get out of the cabin and get back into the fresh air that flowed outside. You could barely contain your giddiness as you stepped off the plane. You could barely believe how much you missed the province, missed your friends, coworkers, you even missed the tourists. Who would’ve thought?

After about 20 minutes of watching the carousal spin and spin and spin, you finally eyed your bright red, Flames red, as a lot of people reminded you, suitcase. Grabbing it, you hauled the bag off of the carousal and onto the ground. You were eager to get to your car, which you had already paid a good 500 dollars worth of parking for, and eager to get the move on the three hour drive across Highway 1 to Lake Louise. 

After four and a half hours of travelling, you knew this three hour drive was going to exhaust you. And with the temperature out in Alberta right now? All you wanted was your bed and a cup of piping warm hot chocolate to end the day.

4590 minutes

“Man, your face is already awful to look at. You really trying to ruin it even more right before you meet your soulmate?”

Before Noah could even think, a wad of tape hit the side of his head while exclamations went up around the room about the choice of target. “Whoops, guess my tape slipped... out of my hand.”

Matthew shrugged his shoulders, an innocent grin on his face as he stood up to grab the tape from beside Noah Hanifin’s locker. 

“No, but seriously, why are you getting into fights with three days left on your wrist? Don’t go and get yourself killed or something, they’d be devastated if they’ve waited this long for your dumb-ass just to have 4000 minutes tattooed on her wrist for the rest of her life.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Matthew ignored his teammates comments, choosing instead to run his finger across the always-changing number on his wrist. 

“It’s not like it matters anyways.” His words were barely above a mumble, but it was enough to spark the attention of his captain, who was quick to tell him to meet him in the trainer’s office after he was done showering and getting the blood that was currently dripping down his face, cleaned.

Obliging on his captain’s orders, he found Gio in the office, a tight smile the only warning that he was about to get ripped apart by the veteran. Gio was one of the lucky ones, he had barely been 16 when his clock finally hit the big 0. It made him an advocate for all the soulmate bullshit, constantly encouraging his teammates to wait it out, be patient, their time would come. 

“Chucky, buddy, we gotta have a chat.”

Quirking his eyebrows at the older man, Matthew nodded, “Well Gio, I kinda figured that one out buddy, unless you pulled me in here to look at my oh so pretty face.” 

“I’m serious. You need to stop with this constant bashing of soulmates and times and shit. I know you don’t like it and you hate the concept of soulmates and whatever, but you’re doing nothing but worrying the younger guys. These kids are constantly terrified their minutes are just going to stop and be etched into their skin.”

Subconsciously running his fingers across the number on his wrist again, 4530 minutes. Wonder what that is in exact time. Shrugging his shoulders, he was quick to apologize to his captain. “Sorry, G. Not trying to scare the kids, just getting a little... I don’t know? Worried? It’s getting too close, I don’t want to get like...  it’s not important, never mind. I’ll stop talking about times in the locker room. Sorry.”

Quickly tightening the tie that was now wrapped around his neck, Matthew raced out of the office before Gio could say something else to him. He eagerly grabbed his phone, wallet, keys and suit jacket before quickly making his way towards the parking garage, the only thing on his mind was of course, you.

2120 minutes

One whole day and just a few hours. You could barely breath as you ran your thumb over the little black number on your wrist. You knew it was inevitable that you’d be meeting your soulmate while working, the moment you looked at the work schedule when you arrived back from home, you knew you’d be stuck working during the time in which you were meant to meet you soulmate. You were giddy, sure. But what if they didn’t like you? What if whoever it was, was snooty, and rude, and didn’t like you for who you were?

“Y/N, you gotta stop thinking about it, babe. You’re gonna get your head stuck in a whirlwind of thoughts. Think about other things! Like... the Calgary Flames.”

Eyeing the blonde beside you, “Tell me Cassidy, why in the world, would I think about the Calgary Flames, instead of thinking about my soulmate?”

Your coworker shrugged her shoulders and gestured to the board behind your head. You had all been notified a day prior that the Calgary Flames had reserved a whole floor of the Chateau for the weekend. With your restaurant being directly in view of the Lake and the Mountains, you were expected to be the main dining spot for the team over their course of the weekend.

“Believe me, Cass, the last thing I want to think about is a bunch of hockey boys who are going to make me miserable the weekend where I’m supposed to be... not miserable.”

She winked at you, a teasing glint in her eyes, “Maybe one of those awful hockey boys has the same number on your wrist. Maybe Noah Hanifin’s your soulmate. God, I’d be so jealous, could you imagine being destined for that beautiful exhibit of a man? God, I’d climb him like a tree.”

Laughing, you wacked her with the towel in your hand as she continued to egg you on, gloating about how beautiful of a specimen Noah Hanifin was, and how she’d do just anything to crawl into bed with that man. Cassidy was always like this, bubbly, happy, positive. Her number had stopped moving 12 years ago, or so she says. She hadn’t been paying attention the day it stopped, the number etching itself into her skin permanently, to never move again. She was never negative about it, always saying that she hoped just the thought of her brought peace to her soulmate in their last moments. 

“Okay okay, enough about the Flames. I doubt it’s even going to end up being any of them, hockey boys and I do not get along. Especially the one’s that are just constantly bothering people, and that’s the entire Flames roster, so... let’s get back to work.”

440 minutes

One thing Matthew was sure of was the fact that he loved everything about the drive to Lake Louise. He wasn’t notorious for being a huge fan of the scenery around him, but something about the drive across Highway 1, the trees, the snow covered mountains, they all just faded together and created this picture in his head. It was hard to describe, there wasn’t anything specific to the picture, it was just joyful, it was happy, it was calm. Jesus, maybe he was just fucking crazy. 

A lot of people always said you feel more calm in the hours leading up to the first time you meet your soulmate. But he sure as hell didn’t feel calm. He was on edge, the scenery around him, albeit, it was beautiful, it was not calming him down. His leg was shaking, his foot tapping the ground beneath him on the bus. He could see Johnny giving him a look every time his shaking leg touched his teammates. He knew the entire team was frustrated with him. Two games straight, two 10 minute fighting majors. 

He was being a pest, constantly egging people on, trying to ignite arguments or fights or just some form of stimuli to get his mind off of the only thing it could stray to. You. He didn’t want to think about whoever the hell you were, he didn’t want to get his hopes up that maybe his clock would actually hit 0, maybe he’d actually meet his better half. Or maybe he'd fall through a crack in Lake Louise and never have to worry about it again... hopefully. 

“If you touch my leg... one more fucking time, I am going to sock you in the fucking face Chucky.”

Immediately pressing his heel into the ground, Matthew mumbled out a quick ‘sorry’ to the teammate beside him as he watched the trees continue to go by outside the bus window. The time was still changing on his wrist, every minute counting down as the minutes passed outside. There was barely any cell service on the drive up, so the only thing that could truly distract him at this rate, was you, and he hated that.

“Soooo... you excited Chucky? It’s gotta be the big day, no?”

If choking a teammate was legal, Matthew would already be wringing Noah Hanifin’s neck. 

“Yeah, delighted.”

“C’mon grumpy pants, you’re literally like what? 6 hours away from meeting the person who’s supposed to complete your soul... and you’re in a foul mood. Did Doughty crawl up your ass and die last night or?”

Grinding his teeth, Matthew tried to bite his tongue, refusing to lash out at his teammate, even though he so desperately wanted to. He wasn’t going to be the cause for a toxic locker room, especially over something as stupid as soulmates. 

It was obvious that something was going on, everyone on the team knew the time on his wrist equalled out to less than a day. Everyone could see how on edge he was slowly getting as the time dwindled down, but no one could figure out why he was getting more and more frustrated, why the excitement wasn’t shining through as the time continued.

“Why the hell aren’t you excited man? This person’s supposed to be the love of your life, and you seem like you couldn’t give two fucks if you meet them or not?”

It was too late, Matthew was exploding before he could even comprehend what he was saying. “It doesn’t fucking matter man, okay? I don’t give a shit about this soulmate bullshit. Everyone’s soulmate is gone one day anyways, what the hell does it matter if you meet them now? I’m gonna be aching at some point because they’re gone and I’m alone. Woohoo, I get to meet them today, woo-fucking-hoo. I could literally not care less, so stop bugging me.”

27 minutes.

It was all around, highly likely, that your soulmate had some form of connection with the Calgary Flames. Their reservation was scheduled for 23 minutes from now... and your wrist had that small number 27 etched on it as it continued to count down. 

“Wow... maybe your soulmate really is Noah Hanifin... I’m sorry for saying I’d climb him like a tree.”

A loud laugh left your throat as you watched a guilty smile form on your co-workers face. “Cass, I highly doubt it’s Noah Hanifin. It’s probably just a coincidence that their reservation time coincides with my meeting my soulmate time.” Cassidy gave you a knowing look as she walked away, a small smile on her face.

You were anxious, you couldn’t deny it. Every second that counted down, you were nervous, what if you weren’t good enough for them? What if they were embarrassed it was you? What if... oh god... what if they hated soulmates? What if they were one of those people who was willing to cut the tie, ignore the call, ignore the connection?

You refused to think about that, instead putting yourself to work, clearing the tables and plates of the previous occupants, you waved off the clearing crew, instead choosing to do it yourself. Anything to get your mind off of it. 

The Flames weren't the only occupants of the Chateau tonight, only taking up about half, you were able to still seat other tourists who were interested in the view tonight. 

That’s how you found yourself, 25 minutes later, your hand on your hip as you interacted with the group of rowdy guys in front of you. They were from Edmonton, and they were absolutely hammered. They were as nice as you could expect them to be, continuously flirting your ears off, as they tried to impress you with their... what was it? Accounting job? You couldn’t remember for the life of you, your mind solely stuck on the small number 1 now etched on your wrist. 

You were roused out of your thoughts at the feeling of a hand touching your waist. “C’mon sweetheart, you’re not even paying attention to us here. Take a shot with us, baby!”

You politely removed the offending wrist, a tight smile now etched on your face. “First, I would ask that you please don’t touch me. Second, I was most definitely listening. You boys want another round of beers, and 6 tequila shots. Unfortunately, I don’t believe the shots are the best idea, nor do I think the beer is, but I’ll definitely get you a glass of water.”

Spinning on your heel, you went to walk away but were stopped by the feeling of a hand tightly gripping your wrist, a small squeak falling from your lips.

“We don’t want water.”

“Please get your hand off of me.”

“Get us what I asked for then, bitch.” 

You were about to retort, a vicious snarl on your lips, but your words were caught in your throat as you watched a fist connect to the cheek of the man in front of you, a gasp leaving your throat.

2 minutes

This had to be a joke. He was apparently two minutes away from meeting his soulmate, and here he was, in an orderly fashioned line as him and his teammates made their way into the restaurant. He could barely breath, his pants felt too tight on his hips, he could feel the sweat seeping through his shirt. Thank god he made the choice to wear black. 

It felt like everyone’s eyes were on his, everyone was wearily watching the number on his wrist go down, as the obvious anxieties began to cloud his every thought, action, move... everything.

He tried to take his mind off of it, observing the restaurant as the team slowly made their way to their designated tables. There were a few other patrons, most of them caught up in their own world. One specific table caught his eye, they were a group of rowdy guys, maybe a few years older than him. 

Quite frankly, they looked like all around assholes. Looked like the guys you’d see from Wolf of Wall Street, and from the looks of it, they were really starting to irritate their waitress. Although, all he could see was your back, your posture was unbelievably straight, your hand on your hip as you inventively listened to the guys in front of you.

Matthew continued to watch you, something inside of him telling him that he just couldn’t look away. He had to keep looking. He watched as you turned your body, ready to walk to wherever your destination in mind was, but he instantly zeroed in on the hand that was now tightly wrapped around your wrist, a violent look on the man’s face.

He wasn’t moving on his own accord now, his feet were basically moving by themselves as they raced towards you.

“Get us what I asked for then, bitch.”

His fist was connecting with the other man’s face before he could even think. He heard the gasp from beside him, he watched the number on his wrist hit 0 the exact moment he looked at you, a look of shock on everyone’s faces.

“Chucky!”

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m going to call the police you fucking curly-headed fuck.”

He could barely focus on the voices around him. You were here. You were literally right in front of him. Both of your numbers were at 0, he could see it on your wrist. He was literally staring in the eyes of his soulmate.

“Oh my god, you punched one of our guests.” Your voice was like bells to his ear, soft, delicate, everything he wasn’t... but god, you were perfect.

“I’m Matthew, and yes... I uh... I think I did punch one of your guests. I also think you’re my soulmate. Does it count as self-defence... if I punched him in my soulmate’s defence?” 

You laughed, trying to cover it up with your mouth as you watched your manager’s rush towards the now bleeding asshole at the table behind you. 

“I think I like you already, Matthew.”

[beepen]

Hello gays and gays only. You may have known me as dicks-out-for-adam :) felt a little nostalgic and wanted to post a little something for the adashi tag. Happy pride and happy summer, here’s two hockey players getting midnight snacks on a road trip.

------------------------------

“Adam….”

Adam stirred in his sleep, nuzzling further into his pillow. His sore muscles protested his awakening and he couldn’t agree with them more. He wanted to continue sleeping….

“Adam.”

“No….”

Let him sleep. He loved sleeping.

“Adam!”

A poke to his shoulder had him scrambling for his dreams to come back, reaching for them and wanting to cover himself in them like a blanket. But they were already too far away and Adam was already too awake.

He sighed, saddened by his loss. “What?”

“Are you up?”

“No.”

“Do you want Mcdonald’s?”

His stomach immediately reacted at the question, growling, and Adam finally opened his eyes to peer over at Takashi kneeling beside his bed.

“Are you serious?” Adam said, voice cracking from sleep and hissing as he stretched his aching limbs.

“Yeah, I’m serious. Do you want some or not?”

Ignoring his question for the moment, Adam reached for his phone. He squinted at the brightness as he read the time. “Takashi. It’s 12 A.M.”

“I know.”

“Did you even sleep?”

Takashi chose not to answer, instead he rose to his feet, his tall frame now towering over Adam’s horizontal form. Adam noticed even in the dark that he was dressed to go out.

“Can you answer my question, please?” Takashi said, his entire being now starting to radiate impatience.

Adam sighed again and rubbed his eyes, giving his hunger levels a once over. He didn’t really have much time to eat except for a couple bananas and a protein shake after the game. The others went to have dinner together but Adam was beat and set out to his hotel room, where he made a quick change into some shorts and literally sunk into the mattress. His stomach was now beating him up for not having a proper meal. He lost so many calories during the game that his body was in a starving state.

“Well?” Takashi crossed his arms and glared down at him. He was probably hungry too.

“I am hungry….” Adam sat up in the bed, keeping the blankets over his shoulders for warmth. “But I don’t want Mcdonald’s.”

In fact, the idea of it made his stomach recoil a bit. He didn’t mind the fast food usually, but after waking up from a deep sleep? Not ideal.

Takashi was silent for a moment, seemingly thinking. He then pulled out his phone and began typing on it.

“Do you feel like walking?” Takashi asked.

Adam shrugged. A midnight walk didn’t sound awful. He actually enjoyed them if he was in the company of a friend or two.

“There’s a 24/7 convenience store five minutes from here.” Takashi looked up from his phone to stare at him, inquiring. “Do you want me to pick something up for you?”

Adam thought about it. On one side, he wanted to stay in bed. The hotel room was especially cozy, and the city lights outside his window tried to lure him back to sleep. And looking at the streets below, he noticed fresh snowfall. He could stay inside, safe from the cold, and wouldn’t have to get dressed either.

But on the other hand, it was only a five minute walk, and walking in the snow sounded just as inviting as laying in the warmth of his bed. And Takashi would be there with him. That idea alone had Adam craving something similar to companionship, but not quite. He couldn’t quite explain it. Something about walking around in the middle of the night, seeking food with his best friend in a city constantly bustling with college students who were also out on a walk, whether for food as well or from a club…it was like nostalgia, in a way. But Adam could not recall ever doing such a thing in the past. Maybe with family or old friends, but never so late.

“Okay.” Adam made up his mind, stretching one more time before pulling the covers away.

Takashi tilted his head, looking for a clearer answer to his question than the one he was provided with. “Okay, what?”

“Okay, let’s go to the convenience store.”

“You want to come with me?”

“Yeah.”

“Alrighty. Hurry up then. I’m starving.”

In less than five minutes, they were exiting the hotel elevator and made their way outside through the grand lobby. It was quiet, and their footsteps echoed against the smooth tile. The receptionist paid them no mind.

As soon as they stepped outside, it was even quieter. The snow had built a heavy blanket over the sidewalks and parked cars, muffling the sounds of the city. Passing vehicles drove carefully over the salted roads and squelched over gray sludge. Only a few groups of people mingled about, most of whom were inside the many cafes and diners in the area, trying to stay someplace warm for a bit.

And walking beside Adam was Takashi, who made it his duty to talk Adam’s ear off. In the five minutes it took for them to reach the corner store, Takashi was on his tenth topic of conversation, water-vapor blowing from his mouth in short puffs of smoke from the cold. And when the doors slid open for them, his voice lowered into a low mumble to match the volume of the store.

It continued like this as they wandered down all six aisles of the small shop. Their conversation quickly shifted to food as they eyed various snacks and groceries. Shopping while hungry was dangerous, and Adam tried to suppress his urge to buy everything he craved. The team was leaving for a different city tomorrow morning, so the less baggage the better. He just needed something he could eat and dispose of quickly.

He had to constantly remind Takashi of this as well.

“Ha, look.”

Adam turned away from the many versions of Cheez Its to peer over at what Takashi was pointing at. He grimaced. “Sour Patch Kids cereal?”

“Sounds gross right?” Takashi laughed, then paused to stare at the abomination for a moment. “I want it.”

“You’re disgusting.”

It took Adam a few tries to convince the impulsive man that he shouldn’t buy it. Takashi only agreed with him after Adam pointed out that if he bought cereal, he’d have to buy milk, and what was he going to do with the milk tomorrow? Leave it at the hotel? Dump it and waste money? Bring it with him on the bus and risk spoiling it?

“I’ll just eat as much cereal as I can with it and then drink the rest if I have to.”

That resulted in Adam snatching the box from a laughing Takashi and placing it back on the shelf.

After more wandering, they eventually found food suitable for their cravings: Adam decided on a premade buffalo chicken wrap, hot chocolate, and a bag of hot fries, while Takashi settled on a lunchable, chocolate milk, and four Slim Jims. They paid and traveled back to the hotel, eating their snacks on the way.

Adam watched with absolute horror as Takashi opened up each Slim Jim, held them in one hand, and bit into all four in one bite.

“Takashi.”

The barbarian glanced down at him, asking what was up with a mouth full of Slim Jims.

Adam gave him a disappointed look. “Why?”

His only response was a goofy smile.

Upon arriving at their shared hotel room, Takashi’s Slim Jims were gone, Adam’s hot chocolate was warm enough to finally drink from, and his bag of hot fries was half empty, courtesy of both Takashi and himself.

“What lunchable did you get?” Adam asked as Takashi unlocked their door. Pushing it open, Takashi marched inside, singing his answer to Adam’s question with a light voice.

“Pizzaaa~”

“Of course~” Adam sang back.

They convened in Adam’s room with the rest of their food. Well, more like Adam had walked to his room and Takashi simply followed. Adam of course didn’t mind.

They easily melted into their usual comfortable and laid back routine, chatting on the bed as they chowed down. Takashi was very particular in how he set up his mini pizzas; the order absolutely had to be sauce, then cheese, then pepperoni. Adam pointed out that if he placed the pepperonis down before the cheese, he could use them to spread the sauce around evenly. Takashi looked at him as if he was the one who had bit into four Slim Jims all at once.

“Heretic,” Takashi accused him, and when Adam kicked his leg, he threatened to crush him if he did it again. Adam didn’t hesitate—he kicked Takashi again.

Takashi stared at him with a twinkling, impish look in his eyes. “You have until I finish my lunchable to apologize.”

Apparently by ‘crush’ Takashi meant plopping his entire body on top of Adam’s.

Once they finished their food and after Takashi felt Adam was adequately crushed, they settled into a comfortable silence, laying side by side. It wasn’t until Adam whipped out his phone to scroll through social media that Takashi repositioned himself on his side, head on Adam’s shoulder as he watched him scroll mindlessly.

Adam didn’t mind. He trusted Takashi, and if anything weird popped up, he knew Takashi’s socials were probably even weirder. That didn’t stop his commentary though.

“Kinky.”

“Shut up.”

Takashi chuckled, the breathy kind. The type of laugh that was only a puff of air and a soft hum. It brushed against Adam’s skin. His heart felt like it was blooming.

“Do you want to finish that one walkthrough?” Adam whispered, and he mayhaps turned his face a little so his nose could bump against Takashi’s.

Takashi hummed his affirmation, eyelids drooping. His breath once more tickled Adam’s skin.

Knowing they were going to fall asleep, they both decided to discard their jeans. Adam changed into the same shorts he had slept in before while Takashi remained in his boxers, too tired to travel the distance to his room. Adam didn’t want him to anyway. He knew Takashi would probably fall right asleep in his own bed if he left to change, and Adam wasn’t quite ready to give up his companionship just yet. He wanted to stay close, nuzzling his shoulder back underneath Takashi’s head to reclaim their position from before. Takashi happily obliged and let out a sigh so blissful one would think he had found the gates of heaven. Adam tried his best to ignore the way his skin prickled, how his heart felt opened and exposed like a blossoming flower. He swallowed it all down and played the video game walkthrough they started watching together last week.

Ten minutes in and Takashi was sound asleep, warm and comfortable against Adam’s side. Adam wanted to soak himself in that warmth, bury himself in it. Every point of contact between them was set aflame: the head on Adam’s shoulder, the arm resting flush against his, and the knee laying on top of his thigh. It was a loving and furious kind of heat, one that battled against the snowfall outside.

The best sleep awaited Adam, one he had no issue in partaking in. He only wished he could stay awake a little longer to appreciate all that was around him, like the soft mattress, the heavy duvet splayed over his form, the soft light protruding from the window and the now quiet city beneath it. And Takashi, dreaming beside him.

Soon, Adam will be dreaming as well, but before he could submit to the warm embrace of a good night’s rest, he turned his head until it bumped against Takashi’s.

Adam exhaled a final sigh, and drifted off to the lullaby of Takashi’s soft breathing.

[puckyess]

Lady | Shay Donovan

In light of recent events, here’s a real soft Shay. This is based on the song Lady // Brett Young. & To the lovely anons submitting requests, I will get to them eventually I promise!

*** FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED ***

Words: 1.8k

“I can see your favorite building :)” your screen read. 

The phrase puts a smile on your face and makes your stomach flip, no matter how many times you receive it. Despite him still being miles away from you, you knew exactly what his view was. 

As always, in case you missed his clue, a picture accompanies the text. There it was, the iconic Capitol building lit up like a beacon, surrounded by the city lights that reflected off of the Monona waters. 

Shay was coming home. 

You shuffle in your blanket, shifting your eyes to the window of your apartment that overlooked your favorite building, the one where so many memories had been made. You let your hand come to rest on your now present baby bump and count down the seconds until Shay arrives. 

-

As soon as you hear the lock turn, you’re on your feet. The door swings open and not two seconds later you’re wrapped up in Shay’s arms. 

“There’s my girl” he mumbles into your hair as he rocks the both of you from side to side. 

“Missed you so much” you sigh into his chest. 

Even though he had only been gone a short time for their two games at Michigan State, the pregnancy had made you a little more needy and you wanted nothing more than for Shay to be at your side 24/7. 

“I missed you too, baby. More than you know.” 

You hate the way his voice sounds so strained and tired. You know how much he loves playing hockey, how much he loves being with his brother and the boys, but you also know how much it kills him to have to be away from you during this time. 

“How’s my other baby doing?” He asks with a smile, his hands finding your hips. He holds you out in front of him and crouches down as if he’s getting a better look at the tiny human-to-be. 

You absolutely love how he lights up at the mere mention of the baby. His tone gets softer, already having reserved a special voice for his little girl. 

“I hope you were feeding her more than chips and ice cream while I was gone” he teases you. He tries to pull you in again to kiss your belly, but you bat him away and wiggle out of his grasp. 

“Hey! We love our chips and ice cream, thank you very much” you tell him with your hands on your hips. “Don’t we, sweetie? I’m sorry daddy doesn’t let us have any fun” you coo, looking down at your stomach. 

Shay rolls his eyes with a grin. He’d missed the playfulness that always came with being around you and you’d gotten even more silly since you’d started carrying his child. He swears you’re being influenced by the baby and jokes that that’s how he knew it was his kid, it was already funny, just like him. He knew he was going to be in trouble when he not only had you, but a mini-you running circles around him too. 

“Excuse me, but if I remember correctly, I am the one that keeps the both of you fed on a regular basis so I’d watch the ‘tude there little missies” he teases you back. 

You grin and walk towards him, already ready to be back in his arms again. It was really quite embarrassing how clingy you were, and you really couldn’t even blame it on the pregnancy. It was Shay. You’d always been drawn to him like a magnet, so really it was his fault. 

“This is true, and you really do make delicious food. But we can’t talk about this anymore or you’re going to end up driving all over town to get us exactly what we want to eat and I’d much rather curl up in bed with you right now”. 

He rubs your back and with your head on his chest you can hear his chuckle. “I’d much rather be in bed with you too” and with that he sweeps you off your feet, scooping you up bridal style. He earns a loud giggle from you and his heart skips a beat. It was his favorite sound in the whole world. 

Always the romantic, he tosses you on your side of the bed with a smirk on his face. But then he pulls the covers up for you and makes sure you’re comfortable, tucking you in. He gives you a sweet kiss before he hurries to the bathroom to get ready for bed. 

Even though you know he’s coming back to you, the bed feels empty without him. 

“I can see that pout on your lips from here” he calls from the bathroom. 

You let out a laugh, shaking your head. He knew you all too well. “Then hurry up and come do something about it” you call back to him. 

Just as soon as the words are out of your mouth, the bathroom light turns off and there’s a 6’3 man sprinting through your bedroom and hurling himself onto the bed. 

You’re shrieking with laughter as he invades your space, planting a wet kiss on your cheek. “How was that?” He asks, laughing with that smug look on his face.

You wipe the slobber off your face, still laughing. “Ew, Shay! Get away from me!” 

“I just can’t please you tonight, woman. First it’s ‘come here, Shay’ and then it’s ‘get away from me, Shay’ well which is it, lady?” He mimics you. 

You can’t help but roll your eyes at his dramatics, pulling him closer anyway. “You’re such a pain in the ass, you know that?” 

“But I’m your pain in the ass” he says with a kiss to your forehead. 

You snuggle in close to him. “Always”, you happily sigh. 

He smiles lazily at your response. Now that you both had calmed down, his tiredness was setting in. It had been a few nights since he’d had a good night’s rest. “I’m happy to be home. I always sleep better with you.” 

You turn over at his admission and search his eyes. There’s nothing but love and light there and you think to yourself for the millionth time since meeting him you don’t know how you got so lucky. 

“I sleep better with you too. We both do” you say with an easy smile. 

As if on cue, his hand finds your little baby bump. “I love you so much, Y/N” 

“I love you, Shay”. He can hear the sleepiness in your voice. 

“Sweet dreams, princess” he says with a final kiss to your forehead and those are the last words you hear him say before you drift off to sleep. 

 -

You don’t know how much later it is that you hear Shay’s voice in the middle of the night. He was scooted down the bed so that his face was even with your stomach. He was laying on his side, his arm under his head and his other hand rubbing soft circles across your belly. He was using that same soft voice as earlier and you knew he was talking to the baby. 

“Hi, little lady. It’s daddy again. I hope you weren’t too hard on your mama while I was gone”. He’s silent for a few seconds, like he’s listening to her response. 

“I remember when I first heard your little heartbeat, it had only been eight weeks. I felt so many things before then, but mostly I was excited. Then I heard your heartbeat and standing there, staring at that screen... That was the first time you ever scared me. Everything was so real then, I was going to be a dad. I am going to be a dad”.

“God knows I don’t know exactly what I’m doing”, he says with a little chuckle, “but good news is we’ve got her to get us through it”. 

You try your hardest to not let him know you’re awake because you don’t want to interrupt his time with the baby, but the tears threatening to spill out at his words are making it difficult. 

Shay lets out a wistful sigh and continues talking to the baby. “I hope you look just like your mama and love her like I do. She’s got the biggest, most beautiful heart I know and a face to match it too. It’s funny that she doesn’t think she’s very patient because she’s put up with all that daddy’s thrown at her. I think you’ll see close to perfect patience if you watch her every move.” He goes silent again, trying to think of the right words to say next. 

“I can’t wait to meet you, sweet girl. I can make you laugh until you cry, just like your mama” and then his tone gets serious, “But your mama, she’s the one that’ll make your tears dry. She always knows the right words to say, and when there are no right words, she’ll hold you until everything feels right. She’ll hear you, and help you through. She’ll fix you, and daddy too. She’s our angel, little lady.” 

“You can always run to daddy, okay? No matter what it is. You’ll always be my baby. But look at mama, baby girl and you’ll learn how to be a lady. She’s everything.”

You wipe away the few tears you had shed and let your hand fall into Shay’s curls. He looks up at you with a soft smile. “I was just talking to little lady, here”. 

You loved his nickname for the baby, one he had chosen ever since you had found out you were having a little girl. 

“I know”, you smiled at him through the darkness. 

He crawls back up the bed and takes his place beside you. His hand reaches up and brushes away the hair from your face. 

“You’re going to be such a great dad, Shay” you whisper to him. 

His eyes twinkle and the smile on his face is something you can't describe. You half expect a smart remark, something like “of course I am”, but he responds instead with, “And you are going to be the best mom, Y/N. I already know it”.

It seems like there’s both so much to say, but also nothing left to say so you close the small distance between the two of you with a kiss. It’s full of all the questions and answers you don't know how to say. It’s a promise to each other and so full of love that you know your little lady is the luckiest girl in the world.