#i do apologize though

[simplepotatofarmer]

spousal privilege

or

a very short thing i wrote for the christmas event hosted by @alterdnbweek based on the idea of c!techno and c!dream pretending they're married in prison!

“What if Qu—what if he does come back?” asked Dream.

It was probably the dozenth time he had asked some variation of that question, always with a tone that was forcefully light and always while looking at Techno with an expression of barely restrained fear. Techno hummed to himself as he carefully turned the potatoes over. They were lined up as close to the lava as possible without catching fire to cook as best as he could. Anything was better than the raw potatoes that Dream insisted were fine despite the fact they clearly were a struggle for him to eat. Thinking about it made Techno rub his own jaw.

“I mean, it’s been a long time and he hasn’t shown up yet, man. I think we’re safe.”

At the word ‘safe’, Dream shivered and Techno frowned. The bruises had faded by now and most of the injuries had healed but it was clear just by looking at him why Dream didn’t believe it.

“Yeah, but… If he does come back, it’s—He’s got leverage, right? You’re here. He could, like. I don’t know. He could torture you so I talk.”

That thought hadn’t crossed Techno’s mind before and now that Dream had said it out loud, he couldn’t shake the feeling that it was a very obvious reason to have lured him into the same cell. He was kicking himself for not realizing that sooner but it had been so hard to wrap his head around the fact that even someone like Quackity could stoop to torture. He cleared his throat.

“Well, the simple solution to that, Dream, is you don’t talk,” he said as gently as possible.

Without a moment of hesitation, Dream rolled his eyes and said, “I would, though.”

Techno shook his head with a laugh, the smile on his face fond.

“Yeah, that’s fair. That’s fair. I’d probably talk, too.” He reached out and touched one of the potatoes, testing to see if it had softened enough yet. “Alright, look. I’ve got an idea.”

One of Dream’s eyebrows lifted. The skepticism was clear.

“What?”

“We get married,” said Techno.

“WHAT?”

Dream stared at him and it took Techno a lot of effort not to start laughing.

“No, no, I’m serious, Dream.” He really needed to keep a straight face because he wasn’t lying and Dream’s face was only getting more and more exasperated. “Listen, it’s a law, yeah? Spousal privilege. If you’re married, you legally can’t be forced to reveal anything about your spouse.”

“That’s—” Dream stopped and frowned. His brow was furrowed in thought, eyes squinting. “Yeah, okay, but he’s—he’s not going to listen to the law, Techno. He tortured me! That’s illegal!”

“Is it?”

That made Dream pause. He tilted his head up, the gears turning, and Techno turned back to the potatoes. They weren’t perfect but they were a whole heck of a lot better than they had been and his stomach was growling. If he was hungry, Dream had to be starving. He carefully pushed one in front of Dream.

“I-I don’t know,” Dream finally said and poked the potato with one finger. “I still don’t get how being married will help.”

Techno ignored the heat from the potato and carefully broke it in half. It was softer though not fully cooked. He didn’t think he could get them fully cooked without burning them, not without any sort of cooking utensil.

“Because then we’ll just tell him that legally he can’t make us say anything. He’d be breakin’ the law and even if he doesn’t care about that, I’m a law abidin’ citizen so clearly I can’t talk,” he said.

A laugh escaped Dream and he grinned.

“Since when?”

“Since always, Dream. I can’t believe you’d imply otherwise.” He scooted across the obsidian floor until he was next to Dream then grabbed his potato and broke it in half as well. He held out one piece to Dream. “I’m tellin’ you, it’s a fool proof plan.”

Looking from Techno to the potato and back, Dream groaned a little, knowing Techno wouldn't give up until he ate something. He took the potato and took a small bite, chewing slowly.

“So, what? We just lie and say we’re married?”

Techno sighed, relieved. It had been a challenge to get Dream to eat. He took a bite of his own potato and leaned against Dream’s shoulder. The other man pushed into him, mouth curling up into a grin. His hair was long enough now that it brushed against Techno’s arm.

“Exactly, man. Exactly.”

Dream rolled his eyes again but he was smiling and he took another bite of his potato as his free hand tapped absent-mindedly on Techno’s leg.

“Well. I still think it’s stupid,” he said around a mouthful of potato. “But it’d really piss Sam and him off.”

For a moment, Techno watched Dream’s fingers tapping gently against his thigh. There was a strange fluttering in his chest.

“Oh, I see how it is. You’re only marryin’ me as an act of rebellion.”

Glancing at Techno from the corner of his eye, Dream shrugged. He took one last bite of the potato before setting it down and it wasn’t until he had swallowed that he spoke.

“Don’t—Don’t be stupid. I’m technically not even marrying you.”

Dream started to pull his hand away, a faint blush on his face as if he had just now noticed what he was doing, and Techno stopped him, wrapping his hand up in his own. Briefly, Dream tensed and then wiggled his remaining fingers between Techno’s. Techno smiled.

“Oh, of course, of course. Still, we oughta make it look convincin’,” he said, squeezing Dream’s hand. “Y’know, just in case.”

Laughing quietly, Dream relaxed against Techno’s side.

“Right. Just in case.”

[panbotter]

Guess what I'm back again with highly requested self insert x wolverine art (nobody asked for this)

Two versions as usual bc my roots are so grown out lol

Nobody judge me please

Also me and Logan share the same height which is both hilarious but also 😔 we short kings

I spent too much time on this it's a bit silly

Ok bye

(Lowkey I do wanna create an X-Men OC but I have such a small brain that I struggle to think of a cool mutation or a cool outfit 😔)

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

Please. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. CHANGE YOUR PINNED POST. US MOBILE USERS ARE DYING OUT THERE IN THE TRENCHES. EFJHBSLJKDNSAJBFPIEWBFLKSJBXLKJWBFKLJWBKFJB PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠 and thank you. Have a nice timezone . :)

while I do feel sympathy for your plight, especially since I too am a fellow mobile user who scrolls past said pinned post whenever I need to see my own posts…. I unfortunately cannot ever change my pinned post

if that pinned post ever goes away, then something terribly tragic has happened

it will be a forever nuisance that we all must deal with… forever and ever and ever and ever

[hamstersnamedmarinette]

Don't ask how it got into his room

[cattnipt]

Fucked up looking dog you got there

[idolomantises]

Twitter does fascinate me, because I feel like tumblr has been a lot more accepting of people who draw women with big boobs, who draw adult art on the side, and who aren't afraid of being sensual and intimate.

But twitter seems to be actively terrified of anything that could turn them on. For years I've been harassed for my art. Way back in 2020 I was called out for "sexualizing" Ankha, but this was the image they were referring to.

This fear of adult works and porn has to end man. Queer artists shouldn't be harassed or labeled as bad, untrustworthy people because they want to draw women with curves or big chests, or draw some NSFW art on the side.

[egophiliac]

swipes everything else off of the table to yell about diasomnia flower bookmarks

(I gave Silver one too :D)

[screwpinecaprice]

Oh oof I slipped and hit them with dark and serious beam. 😣

[mobius-m-mobius]

#so unserious 😂💖

[raingoesup]

working overtime (femstars)

[daily-odile]

maid dile

[starcurtain]

Just caught up with Natlan's archon quest and lord help me, I have a burning need to see Alhaitham and Ororon interact.

I truly feel that they would vibe perfectly. Not in a ship way, but like, in the way of Kaveh quietly wailing: "For archons' sake, he's brought another tacky thing into the house. Traveler, please do something; they've been staring eye to eye over the coffee table for like an hour now but haven't said a single word. I don't know what to do. Send help."

[valhallavalgrace]

hint hint I'm currently working on an ask about Leo's powers but I did feel very inspired to do a flash-forward fanart of protective valgrace in battle ft fire powers... he'll get there, I promise

[rustblogging]

greenlights, matthew mcconaughey

[cubicpeebles]

????.??? - PUBLIC

Big Sis Moon, Five Pebbles, Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment

BSM: I have put Ruffles into a little costume! Aren't they adorable!

FP: It is a pleasant surprise to see you taking part in events that used to be celebrated by our creators.

FP: And yes, the costume is adorable.

SRS: Putting our companions into costumes is a nice idea. I think I'll try that as well!

BSM: Oh dear.

NSH: Hah!

BSM: I am going to remove the costume now. Ruffles looks... uncomfortable.

SRS: The messenger looks quite charming all dressed up!

BSM: Aww!

NSH: I've found a costume. I'm gonna try putting it on the beast... Wish me luck...

FP: Shall I join in on the festivities as well?

FP: I doubt I will have much luck concidering the uncooperative behaviour of the Ruffian.

BSM: You should try!

NSH: HAHAHA!

NSH: Look at this thing!

NSH: Agh! It's biting!

SRS: Oh my.

FP: This is not going very well.

FP: It is growling at me very loudly.

NSH: Come on! You can do it!

NSH: Don't be scared Pebbsi ~

FP: You are not helping. And do not call me that.

BSM: Please be careful...

FP: Well then. That did not go as planned.

BSM: Oh no!

NSH: Well there goes the Overseer!

SRS: Perhaps you should refrain from attempting to dress it up again.

FP: I agree.

[egophiliac]

do you have youtube channel?

technically yes, but I just use it to host unlisted videos for embedding, so there's nothing, like, public on it. :') sorry! I basically don't post anywhere except here and occasionally on pixiv (in case it's not obvious, I suck at social media).