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illiana-mystery · 1 year ago

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WIP Wednesday

Since I gave you a taste of my work in progress for the Dafoeverse fics I've been writing last week, I decided to give you a dose of what I have written for the Molinaverse fics that have been put on indefinite hiatus.

Because I love yall, I appreciate your patience with my ever changing phases (like I'm the goddamn moon), and I've left you on read for far too long.

Also, side note, if any of you have suggestions about how I should go about continuing any of these WIPs, please let me know in the replies, my ask box, or DMs. Thank you! 😘

---

Covert Affairs (this one goes out to @freddiefredfive)

Rafi was talking to Donnie when they walked back in and Leo was nowhere in sight. Kazia figured he was back upstairs with Jeanine, so didn't think anything of it.

But the remaining brothers were talking and laughing loudly and didn't even notice that Tadeusz and Kazia were in the room until Rafi noticed the young woman.

He was staring offly hard with his big brown eyes that perfectly complimented his baby face and reddish cheeks.

He looked like Leo, but had skin as smooth as a baby's bottom and his hair was curly and styled nicely on his head.

Kazia could immediately tell that he probably thought highly of himself, since the threads he was wearing were of high expense and quality.

"Well, hello," he said seductively before he realized that Tadeusz was standing next to her.

Tadeusz scowled at him before he nervously laughed and put his head down.

But next thing he knew, he was grabbed by his collar by the older, taller, stronger man.

"Kazia's mine, got it?" he angrily said before he plucked his head.

"Yeah, yeah. I was just playing, buddy. You know Layla is my girl. I love her so much...I just wish she wanted to marry me..."

"I don't care," he sternly said. "Now, let's have a chat."

He dragged the poor young man away, much to Kazia and Donnie's horror.

"You like them rough, huh?" Donnie teased after.

"Not usually," Kazia admitted before pushing a strand of hair behind her ear and blushing. "But Tadeusz is different."

"If you say so," Donnie moaned.

Meanwhile, Tadeusz brought Rafi to one of the backrooms and threw him down before he closed and locked it behind them.

"Who's that Rudy guy?" he sternly asked.

"Tadeusz, do you have history with him or something? Why do you care?"

"My punching fist might be out of commission, but I'll use my other on your pretty little face if you don't answer what I asked you!"

"Okay, okay," Rafi flinched. "He's just a friend of mine. Well, actually he knew Layla first. They have mutual friends and when she introduced him to me, I knew he would be a perfect fit for our familgia."

"Oh, I see," he softly said as he paced. "So we don't even properly vet members anymore. Oh, silly me. Now, tell me Rafi, why do you think you can trust him?"

"I mean I am a good judge in character."

"Yes, Layla is a lovely girl," Tadeusz sarcastically said. "But you really aren't cut out for this life. What would you do if your brothers' lives were snuffed out...one by one? What if you had no one to hold you hand?"

Rafi was about to reply before Tadeusz cut him off again.

"Because I was once naive like you. I thought seeking quick, easy money would be heaven in Belarus...but it wasn't. I was betrayed many times and every time it became harder and harder to take their lives away," he coldly said.

"Until it wasn't anymore. It was just something that had to be done. You cross me, you die. It's as simple as that. So I say all of this to say, Rafi, you better watch that Rudy fella or I'll be forced to take both of you out, painfully...very painfully. Got it?!"

"Yes, of course."

"Good, glad we had this talk. Now come on. You didn't properly introduce yourself to MY Kazia."

"Right," he moaned as he trembled while getting up.

But Tadeusz just yanked him again and brought him back into the room by his arm. He dropped him again and the young man fell so hard it made both Donnie and Kazia jump.

"Hello, Kazia," he greeted. "I'm Raphael Scaglioni, but everyone calls me Rafi. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," she softly said as he got up.

She shook his hand and then he went over by Donnie.

Kazia looked at Tadeusz confused, but he just put his hand on her shoulder and kissed her cheek.

"Nie przejmuj się. Chciałem tylko zapytać go o Rudy ' ego." (Don't be alarmed. I just wanted to ask him about Rudy), he told her. "Rozumie tylko siłę." (He only understands force)

"Nie jestem zaskoczony," (I'm not surprised), she replied back. "On naprawdę wydaje się trochę przytłumiony." (He really does seem a little dim)

"To dlatego, że jest." (That's because he is)

"Prawo." (Right)

"Everything alright, Tadeusz?" Donnie asked as his little brother still hid behind him.

"Yes, everything is fine," he softly said.

Donnie didn't believe him though. He only spoke Polish, usually to himself, when he was angry or frustrated around them. Kazia nervously giggled before her stomach started growling.

"Sorry."

"No need to apologize," Tadeusz assured with another kiss on her cheek. "Well, if you would excuse us, I'm gonna take Kazia back upstairs to eat and meet Layla."

"Of course," Donnie said before they both headed back up the secret staircase behind the replica Trevi Fountain.

The secret door closed by itself behind them once their feet touched the hardwood floor of the cafe and when it did, it startled Marla and Layla. They both jumped before they both smiled at the young couple.

Tadeusz and Kazia smiled back but Kazia noticed that Jeanine and Angelo weren't there anymore.

But there was one customer at one of the tables by the painted Union Jack that was munching on a croissant while watching videos on their laptop.

This person was wearing noise canceling headphones, so they were completely unaware of what was going on around them.

---

Jealousy

"I don't know what I want to wear," Alice whined as she frantically looked through all of her clothes hanging up in the closet.

Her husband, meanwhile, was sitting on their bed, just watching her.

He began to worry that she was gonna have a panic attack again, so he tried to lighten the mood.

"I don't see why you can't wear what you have on now. You look gorgeous."

Alice giggled.

"Thank you, Aldie. But I want to make a good first impression and an red and brown plaid overall skirt and creme shirt just isn't gonna cut it," she said. "I want to wear something a little fancier."

"I don't see what the problem is. We met Rodney before and in overalls."

"I know, but he has Shaye with him. I do want to start making some friends around here."

"She's no friend until I vet her," Alden grumbled.

"Of course," Alice quickly agreed. "I trust your judgment."

The way she said that made Alden worry again since she sounded like she was about to cry. So he got up and walked over to her, rubbing her shoulders again to comfort her.

"Alice, it's gonna be alright," he whispered. "Although we are safe, I still can't help but be cautious. I don't want anyone to hurt you the way he did again."

"Oh, Alden. It isn't that. I just...even far away from home I still feel unsafe. I hate that I can't just trust people anymore."

"Not all people are untrustworthy," he said before he moved his hands down to her midsection. "Just take a deep breath."

Alice did as she was instructed and as she did so, she suddenly felt herself being picked up and brought over to their bed.

She kept her eyes closed though and allowed Alden to put her down on the middle of the bed.

"Keep deep breathing," he instructed before he hiked her skirt up and slowly took her panties off.

Once discarded, he began to softly kiss her inner thighs before he finally went for the kill. Alice was still trying to keep her deep breathing up during all of this, but then her breath hitched as soon as she felt his tongue inside her.

She, at first, gasped before she got her breaths back up and began to deep breath again. Her heart was beating so fast in her chest as her lover kept going, teasing an amazing orgasm out of her. She tried to hold it back and tightly gripped the sheets below her, but eventually she broke and loudly moaned as she climaxed.

But she didn't just climax, she also squirted a little which amused her husband. She could clearly hear him giggling between her legs, before the sound of joyous slurping invaded her auditory sense.

"I'm sorry," she nervously apologized.

"Don't be," he whispered before he kissed her lower lips. "I haven't gotten you that excited in quite some time."

She giggled.

"Yeah, I haven't had that reaction since before...the first time...he appeared..." she realized before she started to cry. "I'm sorry, Aldie. I just...I just..."

Alden immediately picked himself up and grabbed Alice before he held her in his lap and began to sing to her again to calm her down.

"It's alright, Misu. I won't let him hurt you. I won't let him get near you ever again."

Alice didn't respond, she just kept crying with her head nudged on his shoulder. He gently rubbed her back, still singing a little to her.

But as he sung, his mind went dark...real dark.

He knew he would gain so much joy taking away the life of the man that hurt his wife so. But he had to stop himself.

He had to.

He couldn't risk going to jail. It wasn't worth it.

But yet, it felt so inticing. It felt like a sure fire way to get rid of him once and for all, but he knew Alice would be against it. It was her battle to fight, after all he was her old flame.

She never wanted to put Alden in the middle of this, but now here he was. Here he was miles away from the place he used to call home, consoling his anxious and brow beaten wife in their so-say dream home.

The man took everything from them. So was he in the wrong to want to cause him the most harm he could?

He still kept his singing up, well until Alice stopped crying and moved her hand to his cheek.

He just looked at her before she leaned over and kissed him.

"I love you so much, Aldie," she softly said.

"I love you too, Misu."

She lightly smiled and was about to kiss him again before her phone began to ring.

Alden kissed her cheek and reached for the phone that was closer to him before he handed it to her.

"Hey Nick," she greeted. "What's up?"

"I just finished watching your first local interview," he started. "I love the storefront. It's gorgeous."

"Thank you," Alden smugly said. "It makes a perfect bookstore."

"It really does. Nice taste, man," he said with a laugh. "Also I can't believe Lori Amato is your cousin."

"That's what I'm saying! I was fangirling a little too hard. But she's so nice," Alice chirped. "His whole extended family is so sweet. They've been nothing but friendly."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that. I also see that you have a lot of new fangirls, Alden. There are a lot of thirst comments on this video."

"I don't see why. I'm not the stern Dr. Bertanelli of Middleburg University anymore."

"So," Alice huffed. "You're still handsome and fine as hell and these girls agree with me."

"You're not mad?" he asked.

"Why would I be? I don't get jealous like you do," she joked. "They can say whatever they want, but at the end of the day, you're sleeping next to me."

He chuckled and kissed her nose.

"Also, I noticed that the amount of views and comments on our first video with Alden performing with us as Java Joe's has gone up by a lot."

"Really?" they both asked.

"Yep, really. We also have a lot of returning reviewers to our second performance with Alden. Most of the viewers are from Navassa, of course."

"Wow, well maybe we'll have to get the band back together...for the sake of the fans," Alden said.

"I'd be down. I'm sure Quinn would be too. Adam's a father now so it might be a bit difficult and then Mitzi and Maisie have their own band, Ungaii, now but maybe I could intice them."

---

Ring Around the Rosie

"Dinner's ready!" Sabrina called from the stairs while Otto and the actuators were setting up the dining room table and bringing the stew and the freshly-baked soda bread to the table.

As soon as Flo placed the last fork down, Rosie came down with Mallory in her grasp, while Margaux clung to her free arm.

She was giggling with them which made Sabrina smile before Rosie put Mallory down for both of the girls to greet their mother.

They both hugged and kissed Sabrina, then ran to the table and took their seats.

"They're such wonderful girls," Rosie told Sabrina as they walked to the table together.

"Yes, yes they are," Sabrina chirped before she took her designated seat.

Otto led Rosie to her seat while Harry cut the bread and Flo and Moe helped scoop the stew unto Margaux and Mallory's bowls.

"Daddy," Margaux asked.

"Yes, Rosie Posie?" he answered back while he took his seat, watching as Flo and Moe went ahead and put the stew in the adults' bowls too.

She giggled.

"What's this?"

"It's Irish Stew and Soda Bread," Otto answered. "Thom Donaghue's recipe."

"Who's that?" Mallory asked.

"My father," Rosie excitedly answered with a big smile, making the girls giggle. "And your father learned the recipe and now he's able to make it for us."

"He's never made it before," Margaux admitted.

"I wanted to make it for Rosie. To welcome her back into our family," Otto explained.

"It was my favorite meal my father would cook for us," Rosie added. "It was also the first meal he had with my parents. He was so nervous to meet them but then he and my father bonded over Tolkien."

"Who's Tolkien?" Margaux asked.

"He's a wonderful author. He wrote fantasy novels. His literature was a great escape for me when I was younger."

"He wrote The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings," Rosie added. "Are you familiar with those books?"

"I didn't know they were books. But I know of the movies," Margaux answered.

"Otto, you need to get them into the books," Rosie nudged. "Have I taught you nothing? They love literature. I'm sure they wouldn't mind sharing your love of Tolkien with you."

"How many books did you read to them upstairs?" Sabrina suddenly asked.

"Just three. But they are so inquisitive and curious. They're two bright little girls. Well advanced beyond their age."

"Thank you!" they both chirped.

"Would you be interested in learning more about Tolkien?" he asked them.

They both nodded, so he said, "Well, alright. Guess we're gonna be taking another trip to the library."

The girls both cheered.

"But until then, we can watch The Hobbit tonight if you would like. We do have Family Movie Night on Fridays. And Rosie, you're welcome to watch the movie with us."

"Where can we watch The Hobbit?" Otto asked Sabrina.

"We have a subscription with the parent company of our SmartTV. You can rent it or buy it on their website."

"Oh, well guess we have our movie for movie night!" he cheered.

Rosie giggled after taking her first bite of the stew.

"Otto, you really outdid yourself. This is really good."

"Thank you," he said with a genuine smile.

"You're welcome," she said before taking another bite.

"I suppose he used to spoil you too with his cooking."

"We would switch nights to cook, but when it was his turn. He always blew me away. I'm not surprised though. Maria was a wizard in the kitchen. She always had the best side dishes at my family's parties."

"Maria was close to your parents?" Sabrina asked Rosie.

"Oh, yeah. After his father died, she would come around all the time. We loved having her."

"How nice," Sabrina cooed.

"Sabrina," Rosie started. "I must say I love the way you decorated this home. Otto told me you picked out most of the decor and I'm impressed. Also I love the crushed flowers hanging on the walls in the guest room. It just takes me back to our old apartment and my old office at the university."

"I figured you would," she said. "We actually bought those for our old apartment when it was just us two. Otto told me how much you loved crushed flowers so I decided to get them since I love them too."

"My mother and I used to make scrapbooks of different flowers we would find around the yard," Rosie started. "I would pick them and show them to her before we would crush them and add them to the book."

"Small world," Sabrina chirped. "That's what I used to do with my grandmother back in Atlanta."

"No way!" Rosie chirped. "Well, now we have another reason why Otto fell for you."

"I guess so," she joked. "But wait, are you from NYC?"

"No, no. I'm from Rochester but moved to NYC when I got accepted to Columbia University."

"Oh, gotcha. I'm from Atlanta originally, but moved here to pursue my dreams of being on Broadway. Of course my dreams changed when I met Otto and especially when we had the girls, but I love my life. I wouldn't change a thing."

"Glad to hear it," Rosie said. "It's funny because my dreams changed too when I met Otto on those steps. I was planning on moving to Belfast and being a professor there, but then he knocked me off my feet with his science know-how and dorky smile."

"Am I that charming?" he asked before blushing.

"Don't flatter yourself too much," Rosie warned. "No one looks good with a big head."

"Fair," he moaned before taking a bite of his soda bread.

"Mommy," Mallory asked.

"Yes, Muffin?"

"Can Rosie stay with us?"

"Yeah, can she?"

"Well, I hope she can. Your father did set up the guest room all nice for her."

"Rosie?" Margaux asked with big puppy dog eyes. "Would you like to stay with us?"

"I would love to," she answered before looking at Otto. "I see she has your puppy dog eyes."

"Yeah, she's my little twin."

"Daddy, can she tell us a bedtime story tonight?" Margaux asked.

"Am I not good enough to read you a story anymore?" he asked with a whiny tone. "I thought you liked Story Time with Sailor Aubrey."

"We do, daddy," Margaux assured. "But we..."

"Margaux, how about this. What if Sailor Aubrey had a first mate? How about we have Story Time with Sailor Aubrey and First Mate Annie?"

"Anne is her middle name," Otto whispered to Sabrina, noticing her confused face.

"Yay! I like that! Can we do that, daddy?"

"Sure we can, Rosie Posie," he told her. "Thank you, Rosie."

"Of course. I hope you don't mind, Sabrina."

"Oh, no. I don't. I let Otto handle story time. I handle bath time."

"Okay, good. The last thing I want to do is ruin your groove."

"Oh, no, you're fine, Rosie. Thank you for being considerate though."

"No problem," she said. "So what's for dessert?"

---

Jolly Ol' Saint Otto

Imag'n Toy Boutique was not too far from their Chelsea townhome, so it was a quick, quiet drive.

Their parking lot was behind the building, so Otto slowly turned the corner and parked in the empty space next to the back entrance.

He got out of the car first, taking in the crisp cool air as his breath was first taken away in a wisp of cold smoke as he took a first.

His actuators, who were once out and free huddled next to his vehicle's heater, quickly tucked themselves tight inside his big coat, jittering from the cold sensation they were forced to feel.

And although Otto was freezing and shaking in his coat, he couldn't help but adore how adorable Sabrina's reaction was to the snow.

The whole ride there she was silently humming Christmas carols while watching the snow fall, making his heart skip a beat.

Slowly, he opened her door and helped her out. She giggled and twirled around in the snow fall after she was released making her cold husband laugh in delight.

Swiftly, he joined her before she ran over and hugged him. He tightly hugged her back, enjoying the fluffinest of her coat as well as her natural warmth before he remembered the task at hand.

"We should have a snowball fight," she cooed as they walked gloved hand and hand to the front entrance.

He chuckled and answered, "After we finish shopping. I think there's probably enough snow in the parking lot to do that."

"Okay," she happily chirped.

They didn't even manage to fully get through the front door before the owner jumped out from the back to greet them.

She had a very happy attitude with a big white smile to boot. Her very curly red hair was bouncing in the reintroduced wind that the open door brought while her blue-green eyes twinkled in the bright lights about her.

"Hello, welcome to Imag'n!" she cheered before she realized who was standing in her doorway.

It was like she lost her train of thought as she stared at her customers, immediately noticing the actuators popping out of the bottom of Otto's coat to enjoy the warmth from the store's heater.

She squealed and ran over to them.

"Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I can't believe you're in my store. I'm such a big fan, Sabrina."

"Oh," she chirped. "Would you like..."

"Yes!" she immediately answered before she took her phone out of her pocket. "I just want a picture."

Sabrina nervously giggled and replied, "Okay."

Flo moved over by them and picked up the woman's phone much to her surprise. Meanwhile, the others came over to observe her before Otto told them to come back by him.

Reluctantly, they obeyed and Flo was able to take the pictures in peace. She took three and then handed it back to the woman, but her claw stayed opened with a faint glow of yellow.

"Ooh, these are really nice," the lady chirped. "Who knew the tentacles were this good at photography?"

All of them screeched at her comment before Sabrina pet Flo's claw and corrected her.

"They're called actuators. They hate being called tentacles," she said before the other three came by her and pet her cheeks in response.

"Wow, they really like you," she observed. "Not that I should be surprised. I watch your podcast all of the time and they're always all on you."

"You're an Actuatually fan?"

"Am I? I started watching it after I saw you perform as Giselle. You were amazing. And honestly, you two make such a cute couple. Relationship goals."

"Thank you, I think," Otto responded.

Sabrina giggled.

"Oh, where are my manners?" she jokingly asked. "I'm Elinor Whittaker. But you can call me Ellie. I'm the owner of this establishment."

"Oh, we know," Otto remarked. "I read about your grand opening in the Post."

"Funny, I thought you would have said The Daily Bugle."

"I don't read that trash," he grumbled.

"Right," she moaned. "Well, I assume you're here for the little one. I heard the news. Congratulations. You two are gonna be wonderful parents. Now if you just follow me, I'll take you to the baby toys."

"Actually, we're here for..." Sabrina started before Otto stopped her.

He insisted that Elinor take them to the baby toys, despite Sabrina's look of frustration at him.

Elinor didn't notice though and led them to the back of the store nearby the many Lego building sets that were displayed based on difficulty.

The baby toys, which were on the adjacent wall, were displayed flawlessly with each type of toy being put in a certain place.

The sensory and teething toys were right in the center of a buyers focal point while the educational toys were to the right and the plushies and dollies were to the left.

But Otto's eyes lit up when he noticed a plastic toy boat that looked a lot like the one he had as a child.

However, he reserved his excitement until Elinor finally left them alone to browse.

After she left, Sabrina started to softly tease him about the fact that they weren't there to look for toys for Margaux. But he was so fascinated with the boat that he didn't even register her teasing.

Slowly he grasped it in his leather gloved hands and just took in the amazing craftsmanship of it.

Although it was just plastic unlike the wood carved one his abuela gave him decades ago, he still could admire the beautiful paint job reminiscent of his old toy.

He hypothesized that whoever made this really want to put a nice little touch on it.

Sabrina soon noticed his fascination and the little admiring twinkle in his eye, which made her warmly smile.

Leave it to Otto to find the simple, little things in life so intriguing, she thought.

But she did admire that about him as well though.

"Starlight, we should get this for Margaux."

"Octi, we came here to shop for..."

"I know, I know," he playfully huffed. "But I want our little girl to have a piece of my childhood."

"Piece of your childhood?" she asked curiously.

"I used to have a toy boat just like this," he happily explained. "But it was handmade...wood carved. My abuela made it for me. She painted it almost exactly the same."

"Your abuela was a woodworker?" she asked in a surprised tone. She knew that his mother, Maria, was half Spanish so the fact that he called his grandmother 'abuela' didn't confuse her, but what did confuse her was how fondly he spoke of her.

He rarely talked about his family other than his mother, but it was a welcomed info-drop nonetheless.

"Yeah," he said with a bright smile as he kept looking at the boat in his hands. By then the actuators also fully crept out of his big coat and admired it too, their lights glowing as pink as Otto's pale face.

"She was a woodworker and a potter. Her mother was gifted in the work of clay and her father was a carpenter. She was the third of five girls and my great-grandfather was afraid that he wouldn't have anyone to pass the skill on to. But she grasped it real fast and helped him at his shop until she met my Opa. He was on a European tour and they met at a Cafe. They fell in love and eventually moved here. My mother grew up not too far from here."

"You never told me that."

"It never came up," he said with a chuckle. "Maybe I'll show you on the way back home."

"I would like that," she replied. "So I guess you really loved that boat."

"I did. I took it every where I went when I was little. My Opa was an boating enthusiast. He had his own boat that he would take me on all of the time and we even participate in some boat races near the Hudson. We won a couple of tournaments."

"Hmm, so that's why you're so good with your hands," she hummed. "It was all in your hereditary."

He chuckled.

"Yes, well that and many summers with abuela and opa."

---

If you haven't seen my Dafoeverse WIPs and are interested in reading them, you can read them here.

Stay tuned for some Otto & Sabrina and Alden & Alice fics that I shelved until further notice. As well as my long-overdue WIP for Closing Time!

But until then, Happy Reading!

#wips #wip #wip wednesday #work in progress #molinaverse #fanfiction #fanfic #alfred molina

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julystruck · 2 years ago

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Oh, my friend, you've got a friend in me // Let's go and make more enemies

More versions and extra info under the cut ♡♡

No flowers | No text and no flowers | No text

Hi <3 I'm gonna talk about my art because I put a lot of effort into it and arg. I need people to NOTICE things.

Redrawing of this art ♡. It's been about a year, give or take a couple months, so I wanted to redraw it with the shock character designs, because that's the "one year later" story arc.

---

Staring with Keys. She got longer hair and more piercings. The flowers around him are red, pink, and white Camellias. Red is for passion and romance, pink is longing, and white is innocence or like. adorable-ness?

Finny and OP!! Op's design hasn't changed much tbh. They gets washed and better taken care of, but bun insists that their torn ear remains the same. Finny also doesn't change a lot. The big thing is adding patches to star's jacket as the story progresses. Unfortunately, I did not have the space for everything I wanted to get to. We have the Moon sleeve for lux's space powers, and tentacles for Kraken. Flowers and rocket are there because I vaguely remember them being on Kep's jacket. The anatomical heart is for Sweet, and I wanted to include a lock and an orange for OP and Keys. Around them is Ivy for friendship <33

Bunny!! I am just realizing I forgor to put finger joints but its ok. Ignore it. Her flower is lavender, symbolizing distrust. The cuppy cake in her hand is a ref to the Baby Sweet and Bunny story Kep wrote <3

Lambent!!! I'm trying to branch out a little more with dark academia fashion for them, but a small square doesn't show much. I do kinda feel guilty bc I gave them the most static pose :(( but I didn't really know what to do, and it is the one who is most likely to follow the "stay in frame" rule. It had two necklaces, blue and yellow, for Depths and Madelyn. The flowers around them are baby's breath and blue asters, both for brotherly love.

Static! I accidentally swapped his eye base color and hair base color here, but I kinda like the lighter hair for him. He gained an extra pair of eyes!! Because indulgence. Also I put him in something that was NOT a suit. A collared shirt/sweater vest combo still seems kinda formal, but slightly more comfy, and he is supposed to be working on control issues, so I feel like he'd stop constantly wearing full blown formal attire. There is less flowers around him and Bronze bc Sweet doesn't really like either of them. His flowers are black dahlias :D They are meant to be betrayal and death.

Bronze!! I changed the scaring on her body to sheets of metal. I feel like he'd change the burnt skin to metal because. She also has issues with showing weakness. I also updated the metal streaks in her hair so they look more metal-y. Her flowers are lily of the valley, which represent two things. The first is pain due to death. I feel like that's very fitting for EL, but is more of a generic deity thing. The second is "return to happiness". This is more directed towards Static's story, but it's because she is returning, and they both are healing and being happier.

Last but not least! Sweetheart!! my girl!! In the sketch I had her hair in pigtails but I feel like that looked dumb so I took it out. The whole art piece has really been leaning into the plants and flowers, and that's because she is expanding her flower and plant abilities. Her plant is pomegranates. Because uh, Persephone. Also they mean death and sanctity! which I also thought was fitting. Just ignore they also mean fertility we are picking and choosing our meanings here.

Anyways! I think that's it!! if you read to this point thank u sm for sticking around

#evil lovecore #spilled ink #augh #this took me like. 3 days bc of the holidays #like probably 9-10 hours in total? Please please please look at it

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minkdelovely · 1 month ago

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ANOTHER INCREDIBLE CHAPTER BUT ARE WE REALLY SURPRISED??

I loved getting to know Edward — I don’t know if we’ll see him again, but he really took me by surprise. How do I have such fondness for a detective we just met? Maybe because he’s just so even keeled compared to KENNETH lmao (the day I call him Brady call the FBI or something cuz it means aliens took over my body)

The suspense just keeps building in such a delicious way! I know every week we get closer to the end but I’m honestly having too much fun living in the now even I can’t wait to go see our darling at the Golden Dish next week 😩✨

(Kenneth the whole chapter)

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Okay, I have paused reading to provide some fresh thoughts…

I don’t have a breakdown for the beginning of this fic, because I was just so caught up in how we’re exploring this new character, Edward Freeman. I think it’s no secret that I am a BIG FAN of exposition, and the opening of this chapter is such a fantastic example of it.

We immediately get a sense of who this man is and where he stands, how he views the world and the people around him. The mention of real-world events will get me every time, and The Crash and its impact has always fascinated me, so seeing how it’s being used here to bolster Edward’s worldview was just SOOOO satisfying.

Also the description of Tommy’s mom?? Watery eyed and shaking? I can see this poor woman so clearly, and I feel for her, even with all the context we have as the reader: that Tommy sucked and our collective Deer Husband killed him (and then we proceeded to fuck said husband as Tommy went cold on the floor). I guess I’m just trying to say that I’m constantly surprised at where we’re finding sympathy for characters as this story progresses, whether it’s toward someone established or brand new.

It’s the marker of a great author who really cares about everyone involved here, and I suppose I need to get real comfortable staying down here on the floor to worship at Hazel’s altar.

Brady’s bright blue eyes only get clearer and darker with every ounce of anger you inspired in him. An angry sea churning up violently behind his mean mug. He was practically sneering at you.

AHHHH THERE YOU ARE, KENNETH

You remembered his hair well from that first meeting in front of the cafe. It clearly had become oily and weighed down from less frequent washing. The skin under his eyes was looking dark and thin. “You look like shit, by the way. Should sleep instead of bothering honest performers.”

AUTUMN!! This is a true “reader insert” moment right here

“Ha, there you are. True colors shining through finally.”

Kenneth you can’t say that, cuz I said it first??

“How was my mom? Not much of a talker.”

HA!!

His head turned with a crawl, weighted down with a steel ball of apprehensive horror, to look at Brady. He was leaning on the table with both elbows, staring at you like you’d busted out his car window and shot his dog.

DAMNNN EDDIE IS SHOOK THE HOUSE DOWN BOOTS

Freeman looked at Brady with dead eyes, the shutdown of his feelings was an automatic attempt by his body to try and keep from grabbing Brady by the shirt in a fit rage, and turned the paper to reveal the name written to Brady.

Am I… Edward Freeman…?

“What crime?”

“The one with the guy and the girl. It’s all in there.”

OHHH KENNETH. THIS IS NOT GOOD 😬

“What does that matter! It’s an illegal hooch den! Naked dancers! Race mixing! She admitted she-,” Brady was pacing a small three foot by three foot square in front of the desk. Freeman had his arms crossed while seated.

KENNETH “CLUTCHING MY PEARLS” BRADY

Freeman sighed, long and heavy. A huff of breath that somehow conveyed his disappointment better than words.

THE WAY I CAN HEAR THIS. Edward is so tired 😩

“I know she’s involved. I know her guy did it. And I know someone’s killing people. Lots of people.” He said it confidently into the corner of the office.

I just… hate how fucking right he is though

“One complaint about you and you’re being chained to a desk. Cut her loose, apologize, and go home. I don’t wanna see you anymore tonight. Your freaky little eyes are getting under my skin.” His captain removed his small rounded glasses and rubbed his hands down his face, exasperated his life had come to telling men to stop doing their jobs.

YOUR FREAKY LITTLE EYES ARE GETTING UNDER MY SKIN — I’M SCREAMING 😂🙈

With a scoff and a shake of your head, you found yourself, “No, but I wish he had. What’s the point of being good if people assume the worst of you anyway?” Reaching out for his hand again, you held his large one in both of your smaller ones, “At least if he’d killed him I’d be sure Tommy’s never coming back to keep his promise.”

GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSS

The paralysis set in as soon as the door was shut. You could hear Alastor’s name echoing around in your head, the sound so sharp it made fresh tears well. Brady had heard it, of course. It was for nothing. You worked so hard, kept his name off of your tongue despite the way it always felt so good there.

UGHHHHH MY HEARTT

Brady wasn’t crazy, he was smart and lucky.

ain’t it the fucking truth 😩

Brady smiled, and for a moment you forgot how scary that should be. “No. You’re a liar and you’re aiding a criminal. But you work in a place I’m not supposed to bother. Luckily for me, Alastor’s work surely isn’t one.” Your eyes rolled. Hearing him say the name was like hearing a dog sing opera. Unsettling and unnatural. Perhaps a little impressive from a distance. Unfortunately you were front row and center.

KENNETH YOUR VITRIOL I SWEAR TO GODDD

Briefly he entertained grabbing you and violently shaking you until you confessed. He managed to find the strength to bury that down, mouth opening instead in preparation for words he didn’t have yet.

I SEE YOUR TRUE COLORS SHINING THROUGHHH🎶

Brady motioned with his thumb down the hall and said, “Your guy isn’t here to pick you up. Funny name by the way. I got a complaint for an Alastor last week. Socked some man for no good reason. Sounds like a violent fella, kinda guy with a temper when someone speaks I’ll of his lady, or fiancé, I’m told…Anyway, dropped the case since the guy wouldn’t give any more information but maybe I should follow up.”

WILLIAM. I knew I needed to remember you for a reason… I was wrong the last time, but I KNEW YOU WERE A SNAKE AND A BITCH

He didn’t move. He couldn’t let you take this moment from him. He’d made a massive victory in this personal war and your nonchalant attitude was making something in the back of his skull itch. Somewhere beneath his bone. A new sensation.

MY LORD THIS MAN IS PISSED 😰

A man unable to control his face was often a man unable to control his hands.

OH MY GOD

“This won’t end like you think it will.” He said it too loudly for how close he was to you, “It never does for the women.” He stopped at the station’s front desk and leaned into the glossy wooden counter, “Oh! I almost forgot! Congrats on the engagement.”

Kenny you can’t be cunt… don’t make me like you because you’re cunt 😩

Like a leak in the hull of your iron-sided ship, it seemed the second Ruth so sweetly dripped that name into Brady’s waiting maw the ocean was spilling in. Every time you heard it fall from another person’s mouth the breach in your metal barriers tore wider. If the Titanic could sink in calm weather what luck did Alastor and you have in the tempest of Brady’s fervor?

Words do not exist to articulate what this whole paragraph means to me… but you know Hazel 🥺♥️

He shook his head and handed you the card, “He said,” a pause as his eyes rolled up to search for the exact words, “to tell the host you’re there for him. Called it the Golden Dish, but the card doesn’t mention anything like that…. Sorry, I didn’t think to ask more questions. Like I said, he seemed out of sorts.”

I NEED TO HUG HIM IMMEDIATELY

What was the Golden Dish? And who was kissing Alastor’s business cards?

AAHHHH!! I THINK I KNOW WHO IT IS 👀✨

A Doe in Fall (Part 12)

⟢HumanAlastor x FemaleBurlesquerReader - A Doe in Fall

A burlesquer with a penchant for conning men, you find your latest game interrupted when your next mark saves you from an aggressive fan— by killing him. The chance encounter left you curious, still half convinced you could complete your normal chase. Unbeknownst to you, you were the one being tracked.

Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦 Part 7 - Recognition smut💦 Part 8 - Trust sexual 🥵 Part 9 - Shiny Things Part 10 - Good Deeds Part 11 - Caught Part 12 - Eddie📍

Part 12 Eddie

Brady tried to cut some corners to bring you and Alastor down but ends up just hurting himself.

「Warnings/Promises: Human Alastor x Fem!Reader, still not smut cuz we’re waiting for the special moment, po-po, 5-0, down at the gun club, not an accurate portrayal of 1930s New Orleans Leadership, mystery kisses, brief thoughts of violence, illiteracy, @minkdelovely」

MDNI 👮 🚓

Edward Freeman met Kenneth Brady when the younger man was partnered with him. He was bright eyed, and had a sense of justice Freeman appreciated. He was already tired of the rigamarole of police work, so the fresh energy reinvigorated his early days and long nights. It was rather pointless though, police work, given the people in charge weren’t fans of cracking down on the illegal booze business. It was making too much money under the tables and in handshakes.

The nation was still reeling from the crash of the market nearly two years prior. Any way to get ahead, to stay with your chin above the rising waters, well… what harm is there really in feeding your family? The end justifies the means, right? And Brady didn’t seem to disagree too much with that sentiment.

So when the typically stringent, but otherwise soft spoken and relaxed, Brady began to…devolve into someone a little too myopic, Freeman wasn’t quite sure how to handle him. They’d been rather laissez-faire about the morality of things for so long. They tried to keep violence at a minimum so their fellow citizens could enjoy their city. That was the extent of it. But, Brady was becoming obsessed.

It started normally enough. Brady bringing up a missing husband. Later on, a missing bartender. Soon he was snooping on to other’s cases, convinced something was connecting them.

But, given the times and the character of such people, well, Freeman couldn’t quite understand Brady’s fervor. Sure. Some of them probably ended up under backyards and in the water. Hell, quite a few of them he’d have helped do away once he got the real dirt on them. A conspiracy? Or a mass killer? That seemed implausible at best. There was simply no indication of a grande scheme.

Brady kept pushing. Walking the streets at night with ears open and eyes peeled, for any inkling of what was going on.

He just couldn’t accept that sometimes people leave town or jobs. Very few of them were actually reported by loved ones, even the ones that had them.

Then came along the widow Dupre, watery eyed and shaking about her missing adult son. Who, from what they’d uncovered, was a real piece of work.

Freeman let Brady start his investigation, but as it became clear he was adding it to his pile of random disappearances, Freeman had to step away. He could see the obsession ruining his friend.

At a rare dinner with the families, the stress on Brady’s wife’s face was visible for all to see. She cornered Freeman in the kitchen when he went for more coffee, asking if Brady was stepping out on her or if he truly had been working so hard on something big.

He hardly knew what to say. Neither were true. He’d been working late, but on a wild goose chase.

When he dragged a clean cut and confused woman into the station, Freeman knew he’d really lost the fucking plot.

“She’s his accomplice. I know it. Her fella is the man. I’ve got him fingered.” Brady pointed at you through the closed door. You weren’t listening to their voices in the hall, the name still ringing in your head. The name you'd both sacrificed to keep secret.

Alastor.

Freeman hissed, “You can’t arrest people for knowing a guy! A boogie man at that, Kenny. Come on.”

“I have her confession for prostitution. It’s all clean and by the book. And, I have a witness.” Brady tapped Freeman’s arm with the back of his hand and led him down the hall to another room, “He saw her and her guy throw a body in the river.”

Well, shit.

“You found a body? The Dupre son?” Freeman considered what he’d said. The river? Why the river? Bodies didn’t always make it to the sea. It’d be a sloppy misstep for this supposed murderous mastermind.

Brady sighed, his parade a little rained on. “...No, but I have a witness right there. And, I got the name of her fella. I just need to find which station he’s at and I’m off to the races. I bet you my house this guy’s good for it.”

Ah, so. He had next to nothing. Freeman just nodded and took a calming breath. “Alright, are we starting with the woman or this guy?”

“Oh, for sure her.” Bready turned to open the door, but Freeman shot his hand out to stop him.

“And this is the one who gave you the runaround?” Freeman had heard so much about you already, he wanted to prepare himself for whatever tricky shrew was waiting for him. He followed his partner through the door and took you in fully. Your stare was distant and glassy. You’d been crying and you seemed to be shaking slightly from the cold of the room as fall’s night air slipped in through the window.

You could, reasonably, be his daughter. A similar age for sure, similar build, same hair color. Same penchant for the wrong kinda guy, apparently.

He recalled all of the ways Brady had spoken about you. The image in his head was a bird faced woman with sharp eagle eyes and tight lips. Someone decidedly ugly with a permanent scowl and mischief behind quick glances.

And here was a woman, vulnerable and quite nice to look at it. Hair obviously groomed well when not manhandled by cops, and a rather handsome dress which indicated a good personality by the current standards. The shoulders had flat bows that let their ribbons fall onto your bare shoulders. Feminine. Suitable. Not much skin showing. otherwise. A burlesquer seemed to the kind who didn’t wear clothes often, but he supposed everyone has a work uniform after all. Even the nude dancers. Who was he to judge you for your professional clothing requirements? You were here and modest and that’s what mattered.

He took a seat, sliding the folder Brady had set down into the space in front of him. “I hear you’re not too fond of disclosing your personal information.”

It had been several hours since you’d arrived, and now they chose to grace you with their presence? You’d been tossed into a room and left alone for so long, it seemed more like punishment than bureaucracy.

Brady’s bright blue eyes only get clearer and darker with every ounce of anger you inspired in him. An angry sea churning up violently behind his mean mug. He was practically sneering at you.

“Can you blame me? The men in this city are certifiable. Case in point, this hound you call a cop.” You had the forethought to keep your shoulders pulled inward, gesturing with your chin.

“Detective.” Brady corrected.

“Same thing, jackass.” Eyes rolling, you pushed back against the chair causing the front legs to lift for a second. Returning your glare to him, you honed in on the messy details. You remembered his hair well from that first meeting in front of the cafe. It clearly had become oily and weighed down from less frequent washing. The skin under his eyes was looking dark and thin. “You look like shit, by the way. Should sleep instead of bothering honest performers.”

“Ha, there you are. True colors shining through finally.”

“How was my mom? Not much of a talker.”

“Fu-,” Brady flinched forward, chair squeaking against the linoleum floor. It took a tensing of your arms to keep from openly reacting.

“Ya’ll, enough. Now, don’t be too sour with us. We’re just working off your own words,” Freeman opened the folder to find your confession. It had been typed nice and neat and labeled DOE, JANE. He turned it to you briefly, eyebrows hitching as if to ask if you remembered it. You glanced at it long enough to see the conversation and names and nodded. Yes, you’d had that conversation. Brady must have typed it mostly from memory, you thought, or he had some quick shorthand. He brought it back to face him and as his eyes roamed the sheet, his shoulders stiffened. He wasn’t seeing what he was expecting. “Could you-?,” he motioned for Brady to point out the part of your last conversation that constituted a confession. Brady tapped a line of text.

BRADY - Tell me about the dates Tommy arranged. DOE, JANE - Apparently many of the dancers agreed, got a cut. I had no idea about it until he introduced me to a man who was very forward. I insulted him and ran off. Lost Tommy good money, apparently. BRADY - And who was that? DOE, JANE - S something. Mister Stein? I honestly wasn’t listening much after I realized what was happening. BRADY - And then he knocked you around? DOE, JANE - Yeah. Got me good. BRADY - And… the next date. Last time anyone saw Tommy. Tell me about that. DOE, JANE - Tommy said he’d kill me if I didn’t go. So I did. Promised me he’d stay with me for protection. But as soon as he got his money he left.

Freeman’s head lifted slowly from the paper to look at you over the folder, across the table. Your arms were crossed, makeup smeared and running with long dried tears. Your hair mussed. His head turned with a crawl, weighted down with a steel ball of apprehensive horror, to look at Brady. He was leaning on the table with both elbows, staring at you like you’d busted out his car window and shot his dog.

“Can I speak to you for a moment?” He pushed back, resting his hand on Brady’s shoulder and walking out. In the small room that looked into the interrogation room where the male witness fidgeted, he set the folder and your words down.

He motioned for Brady to close the door behind him. As soon as the latch clicked into place, he smacked the table.

“That isn’t a confession! It’s a fucking victim statement, Kenny.” He looked through the one way glass at the man seated, “And he wrote a witness report?” He gestured with his head, the man Brady called Joseph sat quietly waiting for their return. His clothes were pulling at the seams, his fingernails crusted with dirt.

Brady nodded, “Yeah. He came in yesterday and after he told me what he saw he wrote it down there and signed.” He was pointing to a piece of paper he’d left on the same table Kenny was now trying to use for stability. Trying was the keyword. His disbelief was dizzying.

A small laugh, petulant and bordering annoyed, left his lips. He grabbed a pen, wrote something down, and brushed past him. Freeman marched into the witness room, Brady closely following behind.

“Sir, do me a favor and check I’ve spelt your name properly on this paperwork please.” He held it up. The man looked, found where Freeman's finger was pointing, and nodded.

Josanna. Written neatly in block letters.

Without breaking eye contact with Brady, “And just refresh my memory, sir, what was your statement in regards to again?”

Joseph cleared his throat, “I saw it happen. Down by the river.”

“Saw what happen?”

“The crime.”

“What crime?”

“The one with the guy and the girl. It’s all in there.”

Freeman shoved the written statement into Brady’s chest, “You have half a second to get to the captain’s office before I do.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

“That man can’t even read his own name let alone write. From what I can tell he’s a random homeless you plied with confiscated booze. What is going on with you?” The gray haired man bellowed from his chair, hands resting on a large pot belly.

“A victim told you she was assaulted. And I-,” the captain leaned back in his chair, “You know exactly how we feel about the wet spots in this city. The, uh, race thing is another issue but— Kenny, you’re one more rogue act from losing your beat. Do you not get that?”

“Rogue? I’m doing legitimate police work. I’m investigating crime! What the fuck is happening here?!” He stopped pacing long enough wave an apology to his boss for the language.

Freeman sighed, long and heavy. A huff of breath that somehow conveyed his disappointment better than words.

“I decide what constitutes police work and this is not that.” His boss shook his chair side to side, thinking about how to get Brady in line. “It comes straight from the commissioner and the mayor above him. We aren’t to hound the bars under our purview.”

‘I’m not!” He started up pacing again, hands up and open in genuine confused frustration.

“You’re harassing their dancers! Stalking around their establishments at night freaking people out!” He laughed in disbelief, “Her manager is outside now. Had to shut down for the night because of your little show.”

Brady put his hands on his hips and faced away from the captain. His face enough alone to have him dismissed.

“I know she’s involved. I know her guy did it. And I know someone’s killing people. Lots of people.” He said it confidently into the corner of the office.

“Kenny. Enough.” Freeman shook his head and stood to leave.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

While you were here anyway, and Brady shooed off Joseph, Freeman decided to speak with you again. He offered you a nod and took Brady’s seat.

It was hard to be friendly, you found. Every minute or so you had to sniffle, nose running long after the tears dried up. Your eyelashes stuck together when you blinked.

“I’m afraid I didn’t get your name, sir.” You sniffled again, hands warming your arms.

Freeman leaned over and offered you his hand, “Detective Eddie Freeman.” You shook it, keeping your hand rather limp to give the appearance of weakness.

“I just-,” he laughed as he set his hand on the table, clicking his ring twice out of habit, “I gotta ask. Did your fella kill Tommy? Are you in some kinda trouble?”

Your mother always taught you to make yourself small. Remind the people you needed to believe you that you were not a threat. Play the part they always pigeon holed you into. It was easier than fighting the assumptions. There was power in deception.

“Your pal is really ruining my life. Even more than Tommy.” You squeezed, 30% strength.

When you looked up at him, he could only find you to be the image of pitiful girl, “Let me check some things and I’ll have Kenny sending you on your way, miss-?”

“Doe.”

“Right.” His ring rapped against the bright wooden door frame, two times, and your brief time knowing Freeman ended.

Conjured images of Alastor barging into the police station haunted you. What would he say in anger? Brady wasn’t crazy, he was smart and lucky. Nothing could be worse. Alastor could say anything while mad, and Brady could make conclusions he had no business jumping to.

And then he was there in the room with you, and you had to return to the moment and try to calibrate yourself. Who were you now? He already knew you weren’t the damsel in distress, he knew you weren’t weak and frail. Right?

Maybe you’d just be yourself, like you’d let slipped earlier. Your mouth opened and his hand flew up, “Don’t. Shut it.”

“Excu-”

“I’ve been told to apologize and send you home.”

“Oh? And are you?”

Time with you felt so rare, he wanted to keep you a little longer but couldn’t think of what to say or do. Briefly he entertained grabbing you and violently shaking you until you confessed. He managed to find the strength to bury that down, mouth opening instead in preparation for words he didn’t have yet.

“Can I go home now?” Rubbing your arms to make it clear how uncomfortable you were, you cut him off like he had you. Not that he had anything to say.

“Are you so sure I have one, a guy that is?” You simply couldn’t admit Alastor was yours. Never. Not for Brady. “No one’s coming for me. No one’s punched anyone for me either. Though, I’m flattered you think I’m worth the charge. Am I free to leave?” The little tug of your lips into a halfhearted grin warmed you. It was thrilling, lying to his face when you both knew the truth.

A brief and violent flash of knocking the smirk off your tear stained face startled him. You noticed him swallow hard, expression shifting from amused to bewildered. From the outside, all you could read was a frightened widening of his eyes.

“Brady…? If you’re waiting for some man to collect me, I’ll be here all night.” Your voice was softer now, while you couldn’t uncover what was happening in his head, you could tell he was in some kind of turmoil.

A man unable to control his face was often a man unable to control his hands.

His legs lifted his body up and dragged him over to the door. He opened it, slowly, before leaning against the wall beside it to ensure you passed him in close quarters. He knew he couldn’t keep you there forever.

Maybe this Alastor was a real rough fellow. So cruel he wouldn’t even care if his dame was in a bind. The kind of man to abandon his closest allies when cornered. Maybe he really wasn’t coming for you. Which was fine, he told himself. He’d be seeing him soon.

Following you out, he took the walk as an opportunity to warn you again.

Turning to say a harsh good night, you caught yourself and turned back, exiting through the station doors without another word to him. No need for polite pleasantries anymore. The game was well and truly over for you.

“Oh thank god,” Johnny was sitting on the steps of the station and jumped to his feet when you came out, a sight you weren’t expecting. You stopped, confused. He smiled seeing your brows knit and eyes wander past him in search of someone else, “I was going to bail you out but they said there wasn’t any need. Alastor is waiting for you.”

“Oh…,” you tried to hide the dejection. He sent Johnny? That was smart, but, why did it sting?

Perhaps it was his six sisters, or maybe he was genuinely a good man, but Johnny’s heart ached at the pitiful tone. He leapt up two steps, “He wanted to come! But I told him it was a bad idea. Tempers and all that. Don’t need any more issues for you tonight. Though admittedly he didn’t seem mad, necessarily.”

A slow nod. Johnny told Alastor what to do? Your eyes looked to the left, that was an odd mental image.

“Thanks, Johnny. I need to return to the theater first.” Your hand reached out for his arm and gave it a squeeze, “I appreciate you.”

“Dont mention it. And your bag is with Alastor.” He let his hand come to yours, “He’s kind of a mess, that one.”

You tensed, accidentally pinching his arm in a flit of panic before drawing it back, “Did he drive home like that?”

You looked down to inspect it, nervous at the sudden introduction of a paper trail. Nodding, you finally took it with both hands. The face was rather plain: an address in the corner with just the number and street, and an interlocked G and D in the center. Turning it over, you found a pink lipstick kiss stained haphazardly across the back and a small squiggle. Your thumb ran over the clipped right bottom corner.

What was the Golden Dish? And who was kissing Alastor’s business cards?

⋅˚₊‧ ଳ⋆Masterlist.ೃ࿔*:･

˖ ݁𖥔.Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult.𖥔 ݁ ˖

@eris-norwega @reath-solia @catticora , @angelicribbons , @xalygatorx

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @moonmark98

, @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog ,

@thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies

@howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @fizzled-phoenix , @star-kujo-platinum

, @a-case-of-attachment, @multifandomfanatic02 @watereddownmilk , @bontensbabygirl @smoky000

@hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain

@harley2223-blog , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima ,

@ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby

@dontfuckbutimfab @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12

#i’m honestly so excited for the next chapter #not that i’m never NOT excited for the next chapter but #if we’re meeting who i think we are… I’M SO PUMPED!!! 👀♥️#alastor x reader #human alastor x reader #x reader #alastor smut #human alastor smut #hazbin hotel fan fiction #article by mink

122 notes · View notes

kakujis · 2 years ago

Note

it's okay! for a min there, i thought that my long replies may had scared you away lol. that's true, tumblr have never been perfect but it is the best platform for fandoms because copyright doesn't seem to apply on here.

the game did hinted that a little considering kuras and mhin do have a relationship with each other where i wouldn't be surprise if they play an important part in each other routes.

that's true! kuras have the most mysterious aura, we mainly just saw how he interacts with others but everything else was a secret. kuras might be a fallen angel though and it would explain how he was able to attach the mc arm but not revealing his method because of that reason.

as for mhin, it is a possible considering they was similar with the layout when they appeared a shadow CG where the MC first found the senobium but that sound too simple.

i agree and the studio must feel the pressure considering the amount of funding they have gotten so if they release an unpolished version of the game, lot of fans are going to be upset.

have you try using their template? canva is meant to be an easy alternative to photoshop. tbh, the graphic making on there is a little bit harder now because lot of their assets have watermarks printed on them to get users to upgrade their membership.

er, i don't think it's that simple anymore to make anime/manga banners on there because they got rid of the background remover as a free feature and other things. but it's easy to make a fic banner (like the name) on there but need time/effort to find the correct font etc.

maybe, you could try playing the other origins to break free from the rut? it's worth a shot and designing those outfits must took forever but it was the perfect match lol.

i get where you're coming regarding mhin because they do seem the perfect character for the themes of the game aka horror gothic literature, their personality, interactions and outfit just completely fit with the theme.

i just looked up their sprite again/general official art and they definitely have black roots underneath, as far as i can tell because their hair wouldn't stand out as much if it was completely white. i bet doing the makeup for vere cosplay would be the most fun part.

redspringstudio also released a valentine day quiz for the game that reveal your match from the game. i have copied the link below if you want to take it.

https://twitter.com/redspringstudio/status/1639061400269234178

thanks! i suppose that's siblings for you but i hope you're dealing a lot better with the social awkwardness and anxiety. i wouldn't have assumed this from your replies so i'm sure that is some progress!

so i was old enough too for the 2nd generation but did not properly dive into the genre till mid 2010s but all those groups were breaking up lmao. i was just an exo fan.

i had to looked up audition online and the game is apparently korean so the kpop songs being available on there make sense. which groups were you into?

i remember seventeen from their debut and apparently, they were suppose to have 17 members but life happened. ah, i'm sure that jun would be happy to have you as an awesome fan. do you have any of seventeen merchandise or just kpop in general? are you still into kpop?

it actually does but i feel like it always get brush under the carpet. ah, i hope you won't goes through another one. did you see yuzuha at the end of the battle with tajiu/black dragons where she say that she love him and run away with tears streaming on her face, that was something else ;-;

if i recall correctly, senju was the only female character in an actual gang (?) i feel like the author used emma's introduction as fanservice though considering takemichi travelled back to that period to find himself in that karaoke room with her.

what do you think? i feel like emma got done dirty but the author didn't do that with the other female characters intro so i'm assuming he must had gotten pressure to do that from the editors :/

i know who mt.lady is but does she get a lot of time in the manga/anime? don't worry, i'm sure you will be able to recall more of your favourites at a later time! ^^

i think you would like IB and the witch house then! they are rpeg horror games that came out in the early 2010s but they won't be an intense as claymore. do you like to consume blood and violence in a format of a tv show too then? or just in a game?

well, if anyone is going to get their hands bloody, it will definitely be ais considering touchstarved won't be the typical otome game. there is another horror otome game but it's long to explain.

wasn't mhin introduction the only one with actual blood (?) i'm sure it was considering he used that knife to kill the soulless. leander would just be something else as a yandere, at least with ais and mhin, it would be clear black and white lol.

but i feel like mhin would resist the dark thoughts till the mc get in actual danger or try to leave forever? mhin would be in denial though till the very end. but ais would probably give the mc the most freedom because he's got the soulless at this beck and call, so he have nothing to worry about unless the mc have a death wish. what do you think?

i think you should try a little bit more because i really do enjoy talking to you! well, i don't think there is anything to worry about as long as you're following the rules etc, the worst thing that can happen is that you won't get a reply and that may happen but another user will come along.

i didn't know discord was that popular to get an otome game inspired by their server lol. well i guess, that's one of the fun thing about otome game that you will never know what's around the corner as a player.

there's this really cool free otome game called cinderella phenomenon that's available on discord, i think you would enjoy it a lot but i'm sure there is a true route if you're a fan of stuffs like that.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/568770/Cinderella_Phenomenon__OtomeVisual_Novel/

kazutora really was a loose rocket back in those days lol, another character that would be terrifying as a yandere. kazutora have a proper backstory but it didn't get animated in season 1 because it was released as side chapters (?) something like that so it wasn't in the actual manga hence why the studio could skip it but apparently, it's explain why his relationship with baji was like that.

i think izana is a cool character where it's rare for a villain to care about his childhood friend (kakchou) because most of them are lone wolves lol. do you think izana's character design would be the best one when it'll get animated?

i do recommend that you do it sooner than later and the comments tend to be really nice too like they put a smile on your face when you'll get one. it's give a writer motivation too when they get a user subscription!

nice! i will try to find them so i can read them, do you remember the characters? and the best way to find a post is to scroll through the archive or you can save a reblog in the queue lol.

no worries, take your time, i hope school is not stressing you out too much. do you have any upcoming exams? also, take your time with your replies.

that make me so happy to heard! ٩(｡•́‿•̀｡)۶ such a nice thing to say, thank you! i dk how to describe my writing style but i feel like it's based on you actually experiencing those events irl lol.

how about your? how would you describe it? also, do you write your fic in one go or take breaks in between? apparently, a lot of fanfic writers are night owl.

you would probably need to pay extra attention to the dialogue then because that seem to be the key differences between each origins. wait, sen came back from the dead? i'm a bit lost. the studio will only give us easter eggs till the very end like the pixar universe lmao.

his bad end could be quite unpredictable but if there was multiple bad endings per character, mhin's one can either be tragic or disturbing. any ideas?

ah, trial and error and there's probably be walkthrough for guidance because i'm sure a fan would finish the game within three days lol. mhin's smile could be soothing in their good end or sinister in their bad ending, who knows lmao.

but leander's bad ending would probably be the most gruesome because he seem like a trap character. your thoughts?

i've got up to episode 16 and i like there's no friendship is power troupe in there. how about you? tbh, i don't mind because storing stuffs is just a hassle. that's true, shipping is a hit or miss depending on the brand.

i agreed with that, all otomes game operates in that format and the budget would disappear in seconds if they did full voicing. if they did that, no one would take the intense/horrifying/emotional scenes seriously. i dk if you've heard of Dangan Ronpa but the studio did both with the franchise, voice actings for events and grunts stuffs for interactions!

it's understandable because the studio wasn't expecting to get funded that quickly. but you are right considering the next goal is so big, i don't think they could add anymore things either unless they delay the game.

the struggles! are you watching the new bleach arc then? is it good? it's on disney+ where i live. what characters are on your bnha poster? i have to looked up his breed and i bet he must be super fluffy!

i've only heard of stardew valley, is that a bit similar with animal crossing? er, does mario/pokemon counts ? lmao and some otome games. are you going to see the mario film?

tbh, the one with female characters can be pretty vile, like the brand know that they will sell regardless it so toning it down is an option lol. i had to google her too and i can imagine with her character design.

how about the phone calls? do you keep up with them? they're still using the side events trick? man, that's becoming a norm now with mobile games esp if they're free. what side events do you have your eyes on?

what? i did not realise they were the same company, my mind is blown away! do you remember voltage? it was another mobile otome game brand that operates like shall we date. did you find out about obey me via tumblr?

to be fair, obey me cast is really huge which you don't see in an otome games and there is nice poc representation too. i hope that wish of your come true one day! have you ever been to an anime expo?

damn! but they must have been designing that since 2020? because i think i saw draft designs of the characters that was created in 2017 for obey me. are you going to play the sequel?

noooo don't worry! i just hav a really short attention span lool, so i always forget to do something or get distracted during replies xd!! also lemme see if i can categorize our talks a bit! i'll do touchstarved bits, other media, and then life stuff at the end! also i'll put it under a readmore! also merging ur other ask onto this one <3 .

touchstarved:

yes! i love the kuras + mhin dynamic! like the way that mhin doesn't trust anyone but likes kuras anyway. it's cute! and yeah! i wanna know where his angel origin comes into play! i wonder if the senobium is full of angels... hmm. also yeah i hope the studio doesn't rush or anything! i bet the support is overwhelming!! theyve been gaining followers on twitter like MAD. i'm genuinely amazed we reached all the stretch goals!

yes! mhin is the only one who actually gets bloodied in their cg. personally, i think we should've seen some blood on ais after he almost murders that one dude, such a missed opportunity!! for a bad end, i think i can see mhin abandoning mc or leaving them behind, i think killing them may be a bit of a stretch! i think mhin doesn't actually wanna hurt anyone physically, just the soulless and demons and since mc doesn't fall into that category they most likely would struggle with that!! okok so about the yanderes, i think leander would definitely hide it with his clinginess! likeee he's just a clingy bf, he holds your handle just a little too hard, or keeps you a little too close, but it's never outright unless he has like a whole breakdown episode LOL. everytime we talk yan ais i blush like mad.. man i love him. i agree tho we'd def have the most freedom w ais! he has eyes everywhere as well!

also ahh i see well. that sucks ._. sdjfsdjkfnsdf. hmm, i'll probs just chill with my little banners for now LOL. and yeah!! i'll def try to doo that, i've just been so into tokrev again and daydreaming about them like mad!!!! ig i was never out of tokrev its just the hyperfixation got a bit more intense again LOL. also mhin really does fall into the gothic horror genre perfectly!!! so pretty! also yesss i agree! i think besides the makeup for vere, the hair would be suuuper fun! OH I DID THAT QUIZ TWICE AND I GOT AIS TWICE LMAOO <3333. they know me so well (why is he the most common answer?!)

yes! it says on her chara page that she's a "reanimated warden" who is burdened by her "immortality". she's seeking revenge and her own death! also oh definitely! they need to keep the hype up! so little hints will most likely be given throughout!! i think leander is pretty volatile!! like seems nice, but is actually not afraid to hurt mc maybe?

i'm still super duper awkward imo, especially in real time situations LOL. but its easier online thru replies cus i get as much time as i need to reply!! but thank u! <3.

other media:

OMG NONNIE... i used to be an exo blog LMAOOOO, im still in the process of going thru my old posts n deleting almost everything. there's like.. 36k posts on this blog, i really need to go thru n delete oops. who did u stan in exo? i was a chanyeol, lay + sehun stan!!!

besides exo i was in a ton of groups like bap, b2st (now highlight), infinite, monsta x, 2pm, b1a4, and a ton more boy groups. i was mostly into girl groups actually! my favorites were f(x) and nine muses, alongside sistar, aoa, miss a, etc. yes i remember that too! i watched their debut the day it came out, same w bts!! i don't have any merchandise really, besides a onewe album + photocard of kanghyun <3!! if i ever saw jun irl id pass out n cry fr fr. LOOL. as of now, i'm back into kpop and i'm a major sunmi stan!!

personally, i think emma could've had more screentime FOR SURE!! i don't reeeally like how she was handled but i don't like how a lot of them were handled. i always thought the whole takemichi is gonna cheat on hina thing was super weird LMAO? so i totally get why u think thats weird and fanservicey. i wish yuzuha had more screentime after the black dragons arc but i get why at the same time but still... but yes i DID SEE HER CRY AND I WANTED TO HOLD HER SO BADLY UGH......... shes so wifey. shes such wife material<3333. i wanna give her the world and hold her hand and tons of kisses sobbing fr. yeah! senju was the only one who really.. fought fought, but i think yuzuha not fighting more was a missed opportunity!! she literally kicked the shit out of inui like.. let her fight cmon now.

so imo, mt. lady doesn't get that much screentime actually... ╥﹏╥ but i'm pretty happy with what we DO get. i think some of the women are written really well like lady nagant and mirko!

OMG i've actually played IB and the witch house (never finished this one i couldnt beat the final boss??? at least from what i remember!) but i was obsessed with IB, i played it a ton especially because i LOVED gary LOL. i do watch some bloody shows like the last of us, but i watched the game first LOL. also, i did watch the netflix series, you, which was pretty bloody. personally tho, i don't really like to watch tv shows all that much and mostly stick to anime oops.. but that's why i love unohana from bleach, if u've seen it!

YES ABSOLUTELY ON IZANA.. DID U SEE HIM ANIMATED TODAY?? I LITERALLY LOST MY SHIT KASNDKSNF my entire discord profile is dedicated to him rn!! i genuinely believe if baji and kakucho didn't exist, izana would be my number one. <33 i'm so obsessed with him! i wanna eat him!! i wanna eat him!! anyways.. eep. yes yes, i need to actually read tokrev manga from the beginning, i feel like i missed a TON! i'm gonna do that one of these days, especially cus i wanna read about pah n tora in particular! i do enjoy tora's character growth tho, i think it's one of the best in series besides taiju!

i finished blue lock today! i was super peeved by what i watched too LMAOOO, so let me know what u think! who are ur fav charas at the moment? i loveee kunigami and chigiri, but especially kunigami <3!! i have heard of dangan ronpa and it HAS interested me before! i've just never delved into it!

YES I WATCHED THE NEW BLEACH ARC<33 i've read the entire thing haha so it's just fun to see everything being animated and everyone's opinions on it! it's soo hard for me to keep my mouth shut tho eee. i just love to talk about my favorite interests~! also for the bnha poster it's all of class A actually!

stardew is so much fun, have u played? it's not all that similar with animal crossing imo. farming is a big aspect of it, not so much design! and yes of course mario + pokemon counts haha! i just recently got into pokemon w the newest game! i don't think i'm gonna see the new mario film, unless my bf wants to see it sometime!

oh god, the phone calls in obey me eesh. i get so giddy whenever i get them!! especially from lucifer hehe like call me back!!! but yes i'm keeping up w them, im actually most excited for them! so the recent madam rose event was really good. was deffo obsessed w mammon! but i also have been dong some of the revival events, i want the horror lucifer card sooo bad ugh!! i actually found out about obey me from their facebook page HAHAH, i was linked to keep my accounts!

YES! did u play the shall we date stuff too? LOL. oof biggest obsession for soo long. i loved ran from destiny...ninja 2? i think is what it was called LMAO. YES I REMEMBER VOLTAGE.. omg i think it was like samurai love..or something but iw as OBSESSED W IEYASU. my friends used to point how different ran and ieyasu are! literally diff ends of the spectrum lool.

i'm deffo playing nightbringer! im already pre-registered for it! i do love that obey has soo many brown characters eeep!

life stuffs:

thank you btw! it's definitely more of a me thing! i'm actually pretty sensitive, but i'm working on it ^^. also, ahh i think it was more like it's easier to use than a chatroom... kind of like, mystic messenger! also thank you! i'll check this game outt!

school is super duper uber stressful!! but i'm trucking through!! thank you <3!! also of course, i love reading new stories and looking at people's writing styles. <3 ahh my style... i'm not sure, i like flowery language hehe. my friend once described my writing as feeling like their head is full of.. steam? smoke? i cant remember, but it was a huge compliment to me eee because i feel a little fluttery when i write stuff! if i'm super inspired i can write a fic in one go, but most of my finished fics either took me a week to write or months, there is no in between LOL.

yeah i will! i'm just trying to find mental capacity alongside time for it!! i have one fic in the drafts on ao3 which will automatically publish sometime this month i think! yeah i get tons of motivation when i get any comments or reblogs on my work on here so i bet it'd be nice to get comments on ao3 too<3. also the oneshots are baji + kakucho!

i've never been to anime expo! but i've always been asked to go either by family or friends hehe. i may go one of these years! i do drive yes, but i have horribly anxiety over it LOOL. i got my license like last year and barely drive >..<

deffo will look into the app! i'd love to get some nice prints <3. alsooo its gonna be all my wisdom teef unfortunately... so i hope it all goes well UGH!!! im just a lil peeved they told me i need to do nyeow. like why didnt u tell me before ><!!!

#long post #pibby ♡ is typing…

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kodzukyan · 3 years ago

Text

better with you (until it kills me)

notes: it's always missing baji hours here </3 fluff, angst; alternative ending: always, always you

summary: four times you think you are in love with baji keisuke, and the one time you tell him.

wc: 3.7k

You're reasonably sure the only reason he chooses you to pair up with for the Japanese literature project is that you sit next to him, but it surprises you all the same. You don't think you have much of a presence in class, but you don't think you can say the same about your new partner, Baji Keisuke.

His slicked-back ponytail and thick frames make his presence seem like a poindexter, but there's something about his bruised knuckles and his fierce aura that makes him feel ferocious. You've noticed him hang out with the school delinquent on multiple occasions. You also think you've seen him laugh wildly as he beats up some of the local thugs who crowded around the said delinquent he's friends with.

He isn't who you expect him to be at first glance, and that intrigues you more than you like to admit. You're too nervous to openly ask, so you settle for stealing glances at him from the corner of your eyes.

So, when he really decides on you and submits the partner form, you don't know what to think.

In the time that you two are partners, you've discovered a couple of things about him. First, his handwriting and kanji absolutely suck. Despite that, he writes a letter addressed to someone named Kazutora every week without fail. As if that isn't endearing enough, it gets even more so when he pouts at the complex characters that he often gets wrong and the inevitable smile that breaks out whenever you show him how to write them correctly.

("Oh, thanks! I would probably fail my kanji tests without you and Chifuyu. Kazutora probably can't even understand what I'm saying," he laughs rambunctiously.)

Second, he's genuinely an unexpectedly good partner in terms of being punctual about meeting up. However, despite being on time, there is little progress on the project. Your work times often end up in discussions about random life topics rather than the project itself.

(“Do you like cats?” he asks out of the blue one day, head on the table and books already forgotten.

“Uh, yeah, I guess so,” you humor him because you’re also tired of researching Japanese literature.

“Wanna see my cats? They’re all strays,” he sits up suddenly, eyes lit and smile bright.

You nod, and he proceeds to take out his phone to show you pictures of his cats. You note his lock-screen is a picture of all his cats, and his camera roll is just full of his friends and mom, motorcycles, and the said cats. With shining eyes full of excitement, he tells you their names and their personalities in detail.

"Do you think cats recognize their names but choose to ignore us whenever we call them?" he resumes the conversation after he finishes showing you his gallery. He leans back as he balances his pencil on top of his pursed lips.

"Maybe. Depends on the cat? Maybe they just hate you?" you mimic his pose. You suppose thirty minutes of work is enough progress for the day.

"Ouch," he grimaces as if it shatters him directly in the heart.)

Third, sometimes he comes with his hair down and without his glances, with stains on his clothes that he claims are ketchup, despite it not smelling like that at all.

("Uh, hey, sorry I'm late today," he offers sheepishly as he runs a hand through his unbound hair.

"Oh, it's okay," you finally say after you take in his shaggy appearance. You try not to think about how handsome he is despite the bruises forming on his face. "Are you… okay?"

"All good! The ketchup bottle just randomly exploded," he laughs nervously and awkwardly. "Anyways!! The project!!"

You stare at him dubiously but nod anyway. "Okay, if you say so…")

Fourth, he has an extremely charming smile, especially when his fangs are in full display. To some, it may look fierce and menacing; to you, it looks cute, especially when his eyes are always brimming with life and his laugh is full of vitality.

More often than not you catch yourself staring at him because he's just so intriguing.

You try to ignore your racing heart when your stolen glances become shared ones, and he flashes you a grin softer than the smiles you've seen.

-----

“Uh, hi.” You say shyly as you enter through Baji’s window. It’s not frequently you seek out Baji at his own home, especially through the window he keeps open almost exclusively for stray cats to seek shelter.

“What the fuck?” Baji drops the stray cat he's cuddling as you give a slight wave, causing the cat to meow loudly at the sudden change in demeanor.

“Sorry to drop by unannounced. I, uh, just wanted some company.”

You feel vanishingly small as you awkwardly laugh and piece together some words that make sense. Home is supposed to be full of warmth, but your home is more of a house with people than a home with love. It’s a truth you’ve long accepted, but some days, it feels a little extra cold.

Therefore, you run, and somehow you end up here, in the comforts of Baji’s room.

Maybe you are currently a stray cat, feeling a little more lost than found. Maybe you find that he’s the sort of comfort that warms you a little when your heart feels heavy. Maybe you are just a little bit in like with him, and he is the first person you want to see whenever you’re feeling down.

The room is silent aside from the soft paps of cats moving around and the periodic meow. Then, he pats the spot next to him, and you make your way there. As soon as you sit down, he hands you a cat.

“Here, hold her. She’s nice,” he comments as he places the calico cat he dropped earlier in your lap, petting her as she adjusts to her new position on you.

She narrows her eyes and softly purrs in your lap as Baji pets her, and this makes you feel more in the moment than in your head like you’ve been. Your initial baffle turns into a smile as she purrs louder when you pet her, and just like that, you feel a little more found than lost.

You lean on his shoulder as you continue petting the calico cat in your lap. You keep your eyes on her as she climbs onto his lap and nuzzles him in an attempt to hide your burning cheeks and your drumming heart from your proximity.

“Thanks for giving me a home when I don’t want to be in my own,” you tell him softly, airly, almost as if you’re letting him in on a secret.

He stops playing with the cats for a moment and pauses. Feeling his intense stare, you peek through your lashes up at him. His broad grin and sharp canines are in full display, and his smile looks a little more boyish than wild. He tousles your hair as he laughs aloud boisterously before he props his head on top of yours.

“You’ll always have a home here.”

-----

It all started when a group of thugs looked at you inappropriately and made some comments that made you uncomfortable. You grip the ends of his sleeve just a little harder and press yourself behind him, trying to make yourself impossibly small. Baji, seeing your small form and downcast eyes, removes your hand from his sleeve and places it in his hand. Knowing Baji and him knowing you and your every mood, he does not stand for it. He simply flashes you a reassuring grin before he squeezes your hand and runs straight at them.

He throws the first punch, and you could just stand there in shock as he pummels through them and beats them up. He has cuts and bruises everywhere, and you’re certain he’s taken on a few nasty hits on his ribs. Though you’re equally confident that these thugs are absolutely 100% in worse shape than he is.

“Oh my god,” you sob frantically as Baji wobbles back to you, ferocious smile on his face softens as he sees you. He pats your head when he notes your teary eyes. You’re not even sure when you start crying, but the tears just don’t seem to stop. “Are you okay? Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Are you -”

He clutches your tear-stained face in his hands, “Look at me.”

Your eyes meet his, but you can barely see him over your tears as you continue your incoherent rambling.

“Hey,” he tries once more, voice more frantic as he struggles to find words. He finally just squishes your cheeks and yells, “Do you think I care about anything else but you right now?”

Your eyes widen, and the tears forming fall freely onto his hands. Oh, oh, oh, you think to yourself as your beating heart rapidly thumps at an exponential speed, maybe he’s also falling. When you meet his steady gray eyes, the shocking realization that maybe you’re not the only one dumb and possibly in love stops your tears.

He sighs in relief when your tears gradually stop, and as if all the tiredness accumulated in his body hit him all at once, he falls down onto the ground.

You try to catch him as best as you can, and with the combined effort of mostly himself and partially you, he breaks his fall. He lays sprawled out on the ground. After you check for wounds and find none too serious, you sit with your knees tucked under you by where he lays and moves his head onto your lap.

All around you are the battered bodies of the thugs you’ve encountered, but all you can see at the moment is him and his gray eyes that disappear into crescent moons as he flashes you a grin. He’s too tired to move, but he raises a fist up into the air in victory anyway.

“I got you.”

-----

"Wanna go on a ride?" he texts you.

It’s almost midnight when he texts you, and it’s probably way past when you should stay up. But your heart flutters at the thought of adventure, at the thought of him, so you quickly respond, “Okay, but be quiet! Don't wake my parents up again, stinky!!!”

You can already imagine his sheepish smile when he sends you a "that was once!!! my bad" back.

After sending him a quick ":p", you silently put on some clothes more fitting to go out than your pajamas. The sound of his motorcycle announces his greater-than-life presence long before his text does. Grabbing two scrunchies, you sneak out your window.

He only greets you with a goofy smile and a wave, hair free-flowing in the wind. Under the moonlight, his gray eyes twinkle with vigor and youth. It knocks the air out of your lungs as you glance at him because he's beautiful, ethereal, and alive. He smiles smugly when he catches your stare, but he holds his hand out for you to take.

"Hi," you whisper under the twinkling stars as you put your hand in his.

"Hey," he whispers back as he curls his fingers around your hand before adjusting to interlace your fingers together.

The quietness and intimacy of this moment drown out the world - the sound of cars driving by, of cicadas flying, of the world standing still. The only thing keeping you from floating is his hand and the sound of your heartbeat.

"I got you a hair tie." You offer softly with an equally soft smile, eyes pointing to the scrunchies on your wrist.

"I got you a hoodie," he responds as he nods to his motorcycle. "Because I knew your dumb ass would, once again, forget to dress for the winds."

"I'm dressed decently enough. You, though… please tie your hair… It hurts like hell when it whips in my face," you laugh lightly.

He rolls his eyes. "That's also what you said last time before you ended up stealing my hoodie, and I ended up being cold!" he complains, but there's a certain fondness in his voice.

You only stick your tongue out childishly at him. You would rather bite your tongue than admit that you are always slightly underdressed for the occasion so he would keep giving you his hoodies.

He tugs your interlaced hand and pulls you closer, and as you stand so close to him, you think close isn't quite close enough. The two of you linger in that position for longer than what should be appropriate for friends, but you think you have been tiptoeing around that line for a while now. Your heart races, and you're sure your erratic heart is beating fast enough to generate heat to keep you warm against the cold winds.

He pulls away first, moving to grab his hoodie before he roughly puts it on you. He laughs when you complain about your ruffled hair, but as his hoodie and scent engulf you, you could only shyly smile. He takes a scrunchie despite complaining about how poofy it is. As he settles in his bike and you settle in behind him, arms tight around his waist, you think this is probably what holding the universe in your arms feels like.

He rives his bike loudly despite your warning, but you find that you could care less right now as he takes off. You are young and dumb, but the wind is running through your hair as the two of you are chasing the moon, and it makes you feel so alive. Neon lights and starlit skies blur together as he speeds through familiar roads, and the brisk winds drown out your loud laughter. It feels like you're feeling everything at once, but your head is so clear.

You think you can understand why he loves riding so much because the only thing that you can hear is your loud heartbeat, and the only thing that matters is you're living.

He finally stops at a local 24-hour diner. The moonlight shines through the window by your table. You are still feeling the wild wind in your hair, cold air on your face, and the warmth of Baji’s back on your arms. It's way past midnight now, and the yellow lights of the diner feel a little more homey than dingy. He’s munching on some fries, occasionally waving one in your face whenever he’s trying to make a point about something. As you watch the various expressions on his face, a smile makes its way to your face.

“Hey Keisuke,” you grab a fry and jab it at him in the middle of his sentence. He stops his mid-word as he stares at you, head tilting slightly and mouth still gaping. There is a particular word that you keep thinking of whenever you think of Baji, a feeling that lingers and fills your heart up. You know what it is. You think you know at least, and in moments like these when you’re just watching his goofy self munching on fries while boisterously laughing at something dumb, all you can think of is those four letters.

“You’re my best friend,” you whisper before you eat your fry. Best friend, you think, encompasses a lot of things and feelings as you stare at his childlike grin, heart fluttering and mind blanking because all you see is him. You hope he knows, hope he gets that best friend is a loose term because he is so much more.

When he meets your eyes and his gray eyes crinkle in mirth and laughter rolls off his lips, you think he does.

“I know,” he smugly nods before he drops another fry into his mouth. “I guess you’re pretty cool too.”

You stick your tongue out at him and feel a warmth in your heart that matches the pinks of his cheeks. Maybe it’s adrenaline still in your blood, maybe it’s the moment, but it makes you devious, brave even, as you lean over and chomp down on the fry he's holding.

He stares at you with his mouth wide open, looking absolutely flabbergasted and offended. “Hello? That was my last fry!”

“Sorry,” you giggle, not feeling all that sorry at all. You know he’s not truly that offended because he has that stupid grin on his face, because he’s always soft with you. A part of you does feel a little sorry when you see the small pout that arises on his face. “I’ll treat you to yakisoba later?”

He turns away from you, face still slightly sulky as he huffs silently.

“No? You don’t want yakisoba?” you ask. You still find it amusing that Baji Keisuke, the first division captain of the Toman Gang who would punch someone on the streets for no reason other than just because he feels like it, is pouting because you stole his last fry. If anyone from any rival gangs sees Baji Keisuke now, they probably wouldn’t believe this is the same person.

“Fine,” he huffs softly, “But don’t think one yakisoba is enough.”

“Then,” you begin, your heart pounding loudly in your chest as you work up the courage, “What about this?”

He turns to you in confusion, and before your courage runs out on you, you crash your lips onto his before you pull away.

“Repayment,” you mutter meekly, eyes avoiding his because you’re sure he can feel the heat radiating off your cheeks from where he’s sitting.

“Hey,” he tugs on your hand under the table. When you finally look at him, he continues, “Just one isn’t enough.”

He kisses you again.

-----

Home is supposed to be the place you come from, but you think it's more like a place you find, pieced together from scattered bits of feelings, emotions, people along the way. Somewhere along the lines, home becomes less of a place and more of a person. Your home becomes the boy with the sharp canines and long hair that gets tangled by the stray cats he keeps, the "I love you" declared loudly with kisses and the longing looks in between, the comfortable warmth of his body next to yours as you chase sunsets and live in your own infinity. Your home is Baji Keisuke and the constant image of him in your mind and the infinite pieces of him in your heart.

Infinity, though, is awfully short, you think, as you see him lay surrounded by bouquets, eyes closed in eternal slumber. He's always looked good in white, but when his tan complexion is nearly as pale as the white roses surrounding him, you think white is an awful color on him. His eyes always shine with possibilities and promises, and while you've always joked that his sleeping face is cute because he always looks so innocent, adorable even, all you want now is to see him awake.

His heroism and love for his friends are always something that you love about him, but in turn, it feels so incredibly cruel to you now. For as short as he has been in your life, he becomes pieces embedded so deeply in it that it makes you whole. You cannot imagine a world where there is no Baij, where he isn’t there to punch a hooligan on the streets or feed stray cats at night or hold you when your world is crashing. You cannot imagine a life where he isn’t here to shine a bright light in your life without his laughter and goofy personality. Suddenly the world blurs around you, and you can't breathe as droplets of water hit your clenched hands on your lap.

You hold his hands. Cold, cold, cold, when they used to be warm enough to light a fire in you. There are so many things you want to tell him, say to him, but the speech you prepare in your head drowns in silence as your voice gives out on you. All the words in your head just come out as broken sobs. You feel the sympathetic and equally broken glance of his mom as she embraces you, but all you can think about is that he won’t open his eyes.

Baji Keisuke has always been bigger than life, you think, because he becomes a part of everything in your life. There are traces of him everywhere - him with his cats on your lock-screen, the random memes he sends you at night, the little notes he leaves you written in his ugly penmanship with love. When you think of these things, you feel like your heart is breaking all over again.

People tell you to be strong, and while you want to retort because how can you when he’s gone?, you find that you cannot say a word without crying. You’re tired of crying too because your eyes are already so, so raw, but it seems like all you can do is cry. When you think you've finally run out of tears and your tears finally stop, a new batch takes over even at the slightest things that remind you of him. You feel so pathetic because you can't do anything without water leaking from your eyes, and you hate yourself for being so weak.

You tune out the somber tone of his friends and the broken tone of his mom because you don't want to accept a reality where he isn't here. But luck is never on your side because he never opens his eyes again, and you never get to tell him how much you love him. All you get are flashbacks and memories of him and emptiness in your heart and soul. You tell yourself you have to be strong and smile and live for the both of you, but you can't. Not when he isn't here, not when he isn't with you anymore. Every time you think about that fact, your heart breaks again.

"Hey, stupid," your broken sobs ring loudly in the deafening silence, "I love you."

The words you’ve wanted to tell him for so long are finally in the open, but there is no answer.

#baji keisuke x reader #keisuke baji x reader #baji x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokrev x reader #baji fluff #baji angst #tokyo revengers imagines #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo revengers angst #i... i just really miss baji :(#come home you stinky head </3 #i'm sorry if he's ooc :(( in my head he's just really dorky and soft w his s/o HAHA #rissa told me to make it angst so i made it angst 👍#sometimes i write things

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isagisyoichi · 4 years ago

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YOU MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL!

SYNOPSIS: niko as your boyfriend

CHARACTERS INCLUDED: niko ikki aka my boyfriend hello

WARNINGS: swearing, pretend all the boys go to the same school and they're all friends for plot, normalize not writing serious boys as someone that practically hates their s/o and never opens up to them god bless, also no such thing as ooc since we dunno shit ab him so everything i say is law. SUPER LONG LOL, it's like 2k+ words 😭

A/N: i love my boyfriend and i'm v happy about all the attention he's getting (even if he will prob will b subbed out 👎) this was fun to write bc i think he would b very soft as bf and also i hate the notion that stoic and serious = boring and detached in a relationship. also first post w the new user yayyyy rip yoichisagis an end of an era for realsies.

FOR: fox anon my beloved this one is for u😩

it takes a while for you two to get together, just because niko wants to think things through and be sure he’s making the right decision, as well as him being naturally apprehensive about this whole dating thing.

when you do eventually start going out, keep in mind you're probably his first real anything, so-

niko needs to take it slow for the first month or so because he needs time to adjust and get used to being in a relationship.

when he gets comfortable around you, niko starts to talk a lot more.

niko starts to talk about his interests more-soccer, stem stuff (idc i'll die by my hc that he's a stem boy), etc. and niko's really happy that you're genuinely interested in what he has to say :)

and as your relationship progresses, niko becomes more inclined to share his inner thoughts.

“this song is so bad, i hate it and how it's everywhere,” like, babe that sucks, but what do you want me to do, take it off the radio myself? 😭

you find out that niko’s kind of a hater LOL, but it’s okay, because it means he can be himself around you <3 and the mini debates you have with each other are fun.

he’s someone you can take shopping with you if you need a solid second opinion.

“ikki, is this cute?” you niko as you adjust the shirt you tried on in the fitting room mirror.

“no.” he’s so straight up LOL. “the blue one from earlier was better.”

“this one?”

“yeah, that one. you look really pretty in it.”

ngl though, niko’s not much of a mall person. he'd just follow you around like a little puppy LOL, but he doesn't mind too much because it's for you.

communication is important to niko!!!!! he wants someone that he can have real conversation about the things that matter to him, so he rly makes an effort to have that kind of connection with you.

niko's naturally funny but he isn't aware that he is lol.

but when he does try, i feel like his humor comes in the form of sarcasm and dry wit. likes poking fun at you here and there with a lighthearted jab.

"you're so weird, y/n," is the most common one.

niko’s naturally closed off emotionally (male aquarius 😒) but i, personally, think he’d really try and push himself to be more open with you, especially if you expressed for him to do so </3

he'd be really appreciative of someone patient and understanding of the fact that he doesn't open up easily, though.

but eventually, you become the person closest to him- niko confides in you a lot, which he’s grateful for because he usually holds everything in.

not one for pda or other lovey-dovey things in public, other than the occasional holding of hands but behind closed doors, niko’s so soft around you, it’s like he’s a completely different person.

also, i feel like niko’s real handsy with you, i get the vibe he’s super touch starved 😭

although it does take him a while to get used to physical affection, once he has, niko cannot get enough. he’s always touching you when he has no real reason to.

(and because you're his first relationship, i feel like it’s just natural that niko’s going to be kind of clingy towards you.)

“you okay, ikki?” you ask as niko suddenly wraps his arms around your waist from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“mhm,” he mumbles. “just wanna be close to you.”

niko likes when you sit on his lap when he’s on his computer. you can have your arms wrapped around his neck, your head resting in the crook of his neck, or you could just be on your phone or whatever, it doesn’t matter, niko just likes you near him.

you guys don’t really talk to each other when you do this, aside from niko occasionally checking up on you and asking if you need anything from him.

but other than that, you guys just enjoy each other's touch in silence. it’s one of his favorite things to do with you.

however, if you start kissing him in the middle of whatever he’s doing and keep it up for long enough, niko will drop everything to make out with you right then and there (also one of his favorite things to do with you).

speaking of kissing- you kiss niko first.

niko would try to plan your guys first kiss out because he wants everything to be perfect.

but, he ends up taking forever to execute it because he keeps overthinking and you can only wait so long before kissing him, so you take matters into your own hands.

his kisses are sloppy and juvenile at the beginning, but he’s smart and learns quickly what you do and don’t like.

likes being kissed on his jaw and forehead the most :')

if the team ever happens to see niko kissing you, they're gonna be so annoying 😭

"yooo niko's making big moves ‼️" "my son's growing up on me!😩" "good job *pats on the back*" and niko is red all over as he drags you away from them, muttering about how childish and annoying they are 😭.

but, they're all very supportive of you guys, even if they're embarrassing as hell 🙄.

they even give niko relationship advice- which luckily, he doesn’t follow (most of the time), because, let’s be honest, if you're getting unsolicited dating tips from a bunch of teenage boys, it’s probably bad 😭.

you’re the only person niko shows his forehead to. just know that having the opportunity to see it means that niko trusts you more than anyone else :’)

repay his trust by kissing his forehead lovingly and showering him with compliments whenever you can !!!!!!!!!!

“y/n, why’re you so embarrassing,” niko says under his breath, blushing as you hold his face and litter soft kisses on his forehead, rambling about how cute he is.

always looks for you in the bleachers when he has a game and you’re always the first person he talks to after.

and the fact that you make an effort to come as often as you can means sooo much to him. definitely considers you to be his biggest fan.

real classy with nicknames- uses “my love/love,” and “darling,” the most.

his favorite petname from you is "pretty boy." gives him butterflies each time he hears it.

the first time you call him that, he's confused, but after you explain that being called pretty is basically the highest compliment a boy can receive, he gets all soft on you.

only uses instagram to like and comment on your pictures and that's it 😭.

comments stuff like “you're so pretty” and "beautiful," without any emojis because niko refuses to use them LOL.

remembers the compliments you give him! they help with his self esteem and i feel like he values your opinion a lot.

so, tell him all about how cute and smart and talented and hot and funny he is and how much you love him and he'll replay it in his head 24/7.

i think he prefers to be the big spoon, unless he's sad- then he really wants you to hold him.

niko gives me homebody vibes, so expect relaxed dates, but still nice, yk?

what i mean is niko's not gonna take you out to get gas station food and call it a day 😭 he's classier than that and he always puts in effort towards dates.

he always plans them ahead of time and takes into consideration what he thinks you'd enjoy. and he insists on paying 🤗.

but, niko always does something special for days like your birthday or an anniversary, like go somewhere fancy if you wanted to or buy a nice gift you've been eyeing for a while.

helps you with your schoolwork, 100%. most of the time niko tutors you because he wants you to actually learn the material, but if you're feeling lazy and just wanna get it over with, niko will just give you the answers.

this is a big deal because i love him and all but, niko gives me the vibe he's super stingy with his work 😭.

"this is the last time i'm going to just give you the answers, y/n." niko sighs out. "you have to start doing your homework by yourself."

niko's said that dozen of times but he's still giving you the answers free of charge. can you guys say #whipped 🤣?

LOL speaking of school, if you ever text him during class, i highly doubt that niko would entertain you 😭😭 (it's out of love, though)

y/n 💗: hiii baby imy 🥰

pretty boy: do your work, y/n.

y/n 💗: ALL I DID WAS SAY HI

pretty boy: pay attention.

y/n 💗: fine ur so lame 👎

pretty boy: whatever you say. i miss you too, by the way.

he likes to moves your hair out your face because he wants to see your pretty face better.

which is why you have to do the same with him 🥰!!!!!! makes him blush like crazy.

gets soooo soft when you post him or even take pictures of you and him together :') just the thought of you wanting to show him off makes him soooo happy.

he won't entertain you if you make a tiktok, though LOL. he's very stubborn in his belief that it's stupid.

just stands in the background with his arms crossed if you try to make him do a dance or something 😭 (he does think you look cute, though).

niko has such nice eyelashes but i doubt he's aware of it 'cause he's, y'know, a boy 🙄.

"my eyelashes are ... cute?" he questions. niko wasn't even aware that such a trivial thing like his eyelashes could be considered cute.

"yes, oh my god," you gush. "they're so long and nice, i wish mine were like that," you groan, examining yours through the camera of your phone.

"you're so weird, y/n," he says, a blush staining his cheeks. "your eyelashes are nicer," he mumbles as he kisses your forehead.

he's one of those people that prefers to be alone, but you're the exception. you know?

niko likes to keep to himself most of the time, but that whole thing doesn't apply to you, because he'd choose to be with you over being alone anytime :')

#THIS WAS SO LONG CHRKST #ilysmni i love you so much niko ikki #not a dating hc but i really thinkche has the kind of headphones that tsukki has 💀💀💀#niko ikki #niko ikki x reader #niko x reader #blue lock #bllk x reader #bllk #blue lock x reader #blue lock imagine #blue lock headcanons #bllk headcanons #niko ikki headcanons #niko ikki imagine #ikki niko #ikki niko x reader #bllk imagines

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heavenbarnes · 4 years ago

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PLEASE STAND BY: She’s not heavy, she’s my lover

Wanda Maximoff x female reader

Warning/Contains: spoilers for “WandaVision”, aspects of mind-control meaning reader isn’t truly consenting, parts of this don’t make sense and are designed to make you feel strange, cheating, pregnancy, fingering, riding,

Word Count: 2.2k

it’s the 70s now and we’re a lot more liberal w our love, we’re also starting to form some kind of idea as to what might be going on hmm...enjoy x

MASTERLIST

Things just were positively brighter these days, and you couldn’t put your finger on why. Each morning the sun shone a little stronger through the curtains, the birds chirped just that bit louder, your morning coffee just a bit sweeter.

Picking the fluff off your husband’s blazer, you moved to adjust his tie slightly, admiring the way the red stood out on his chest. “You really are so handsome.”

James’ cheeks pulled up in a smile, dipping in to press a kiss to your cheek as you beamed for him. “I’ve got to be, to keep up with my gorgeous wife!”

You giggled, a cherry sweet girlish lilt that made your eyes twinkle. Enjoying those last few moments before he left for work, you lent further into his woolen sweater as you felt the firm hold of his prosthetic hand.

“Do you really have to leave-”

“Oop, sorry, Wanda calling!”

Both your heads turned up, looking to the front door to find your lovely little neighbor and her bright eyes. That sadness of seeing James’ off seemed to fade as you saw your friend, she seemed to replace the warmth that would’ve followed him out the door.

“Great timing, you can keep the missus company whilst I’m earning us money!” He gave you another kiss, before heading off to wherever he spent his time during the days.

Welcoming Wanda into your home, you couldn’t help but notice the thick woolen coat she had wrapped over her front. She looked like a cutie, you couldn’t doubt that, she actually looked like Paddington Bear. But the sun was beaming out there.

Narrowing your eyes you stepped around the couch towards her. “Whattya’ stashing, toots?”

“I’m only telling you cause I love you, and I know you love me, and you-”

“Spill the beans, chick.”

Rather than come out with it, she instead...well...came out with it. She flipped the sides of the coat back off her front and you were met with the round bump of her belly. Your eyes flew wide and mouth dropped a tad.

“Baby!” You cried, hands flying up around your head. “You’re having a baby!”

“Run me through what we have so far.”

“Approximately a week ago, Agent 19 entered the energy field surrounding the town of Westview, accompanied by Bucky Barnes. Since then, they have been cast as characters in a TV show created and seemingly controlled by Wanda Maximoff.”

“They went in with a mission, to find Maximoff and stop her, have they even made any progress?”

“From the looks of things, they’ve abandoned mission, whether they realize it or not.”

“So what are they doing in there?”

“Bucky spends most of his time ‘working’, Agent 19 isn’t normally seen without Wanda at her side. They spend a lot of time talking, sometimes dancing, not a whole lot else.”

“So she’s got her right there, but isn’t even doing the one thing we sent her in there for?”

“Sir, I don’t think she has a choice.”

Wanda’s hips rolled against yours as she sat perched in your lap, soft lips moving gently against your own as her hands found their way under your shirt. “You sure I don’t look too round?”

Giggling into her mouth, your hands came to grasp her breasts, resting their weight in your hands as she sighed for you. “I think you look positively radiant, like a stone cold fox.”

Pulling back gently, she caught you as you winked for her, still kneading the sensitive flesh in your fingers. Bracing her hands on your knees, she arched her back and pushed her chest further into your touch.

“I didn’t know you and Vision were trying for a baby, and I feel like I only saw you yester-”

‘I know, I know, it all happened so quickly.” She hurried you, shutting you up completely by lifting her shirt over her head and flinging it onto your bedroom floor.

It worked a treat, your mouth falling agape at the sight of her pert chest bared to you in all her glory. You immediately closed your lips around one of her nipples, the hard bud fitting nicely against your tongue as you sucked it further into your mouth.

Those sounds, those beautiful sounds that only she could make, they nearly drove you doggone wild. She felt apart to wonderfully in your hands, she fit so nicely against you making you truly believe that your souls were always meant to cross paths.

Your mind told you, looking at her glowing and luscious and so incredibly perfect, that there was never any other woman but her. It was in the way that it didn’t feel like you existed, until she was thinking about you. Like your day started when she needed you and ended once she’d fallen asleep.

The needy roll of her bare hips drew your eyes down to where she was leaving a wet patch on your flares, you drew your fingers down over the ridge of her belly and underneath where she was softest.

“Please, let me ride your fingers, I need it.”

A wild grin sparked in your eyes as you smiled up at her, more than willing to make her wish your command. Running two of your fingers along where she was parted, you collected the candy-sweet wetness that was pooling in her.

Bringing it up to her clit, you circled around it as her head tipped back with a wanton moan escaping her chest and parting the thick air that’d gathered around you. Slow and easy, you sunk those two fingers into her as she continued to roll her hips for you.

“You always feel better than I ever imagined,” Wanda cried out, fingers gripping your shoulders as she bounced against you. “All I could’ve hoped for.”

You let the kindness and passion of her words wash over you as you kept working your fingers inside her, stretching them out slightly and pulling forward with every motion of her hips.

Moving your thumb around, you pressed it to her clit and slowly rolled it around as she continued to buck in your fingers. She looked monumental above you, the bedroom light glowing around her like an aura she exuded. Her long hair brushed down her back as she swayed into you.

She looked like your entire world, and at that moment, she was.

You felt her gripping your digits, hugging tight and sweet as she got herself off against you. Never before had you been so pleased to be a vessel for someone’s pleasure, you’d lay there flat on the bed and let her grind against you for hours if it made her happy and wet.

“Yes, I’m so close,” The whine that whistled through her teeth shocked you to the core. “You’re gonna’ make me lose it.”

And as if that was your plan, you sped up the roll of your thumb and the movement of your fingers until her nails were digging into the flesh of your shoulders and pulling your flush between her breasts.

Lips pursing and teeth nipping gently at the taught skin, you left kisses in your wake as she rode through the highs of pleasure centered between her thighs. Hand wrapped around your wrist, she drew your own hand from below and placed the two soaked fingers between your lips.

You smiled, humming in content as you tasted the most unforgettable sweetness, like something from dream state. “You’re everything, pretty girl.”

Spying it draped across the back of the couch as you greeted your husband, James’ eyes followed it as he hung his blazer on the coat rack. “Wanda leave that here?”

“Hmm, yes,” You picked it up and draped it over your arm. “I better go return it.”

“I’ll come with you, been meaning to ask Vision if I can borrow his hedge trimmer.”

Hand in hand you bridged the short gap down to their home, knocking a couple times on the door before you heard a soft “come in” from just inside. Slowly pushing open the door, your eyes immediately fixed on the two beautiful bundles in the living room.

“Twins!” You beamed, keeping your voice hushed as James’ followed you inside.

“Aren’t they sweet.” Wanda cast the most enamored gaze upon them, like life had never been better.

“Just the bees knees!”

Whilst your husband had gone to find the man of the house, you turned to the young lady who had also obviously come to offer best wishes to the new parents. “Hi there, I’m one of Wanda’s friends.”

Rather than return your smile, the girl went stark faced, eyes wide and brow just slightly furrowed. A tinge of confusion crossed your features, shrugging your shoulders in an attempt to get her to speak.

Shaking her head, a smile started to work up on her face. “I’m Geraldine, also one of Wanda’s friends.”

“Nice to meet you!”

“It- It sure is.”

She was odd, maybe she was shy? Nevertheless, you turned back to Wanda and placed a hand on her arm. “Let me find my husband and get out of your hair, leave you to enjoy your gorgeous babies.”

Geraldine followed you across the lounge room as you called out for James. She caught one of your wrists in her hand, making you twist your head back towards her. Expecting her to say something, you stood in wait with a signature kind smile across your lips.

Strange girl didn’t say a word, she just looked at you again with those worrisome eyes that you couldn’t quite place. “Sorry Geraldine, is there something I can-”

“She’s just new here, looking to make more friends, aren’t you?” Wanda filled you in from her place by her twins.

Nodding in understanding, you felt James’ presence as he came up behind you, hand on your arm to turn you away from the new guest. Reluctantly, she released your grip as you moved by, causing you to shoot your man a slightly perplexed glance.

He just shrugged his shoulders, closing the front door behind you both as you walked back up to your home. Herb was outside, using his own hedge trimmer as you both waved to him. He waved back, shouting a quick “hello” as the blade of his hedge trimmer started to slowly descend through the concrete wall.

Looping your arm through James’ prosthetic elbow you motioned towards the sight. “Pretty powerful motor, better be careful with that one of Vision’s.”

As you served your better-half his plate of meatloaf, he greatly accepted it, cutlery poised in his hands as he waited for you to sit with your own. Making a cheers with your wine glasses, you both took your bites of dinner before crossing knives and forks across your plates.

“That lass at the Vision’s place today was an oddball.” James’ remarked, leaning back in his chair.

“Hmm, I just think she was shy, though I wish she’d told me whatever she was thinking.”

James’ scrunched his nose slightly but nodded in agreement, nonetheless. You thought back to the young lady, how she’d seemingly looked frightened, they way she’d grabbed you. Letting it tick over in your mind, you saw the same kind of look on your husband’s face that you felt you were making.

“My love,” He started, pushing some broccoli around his plate. “Why do we never eat more than one bite of our dinner.”

Your eyes dropped from his to the plate in front of you, pushed slightly up the table and signaled as finished. Gently lifting your head, you let your eyes flicker around your dining room. To the window sills that never got dusty, the clock that never struck 12, the lightbulbs you’d never replaced.

“Where do you go in a day, when you go to work, what do you do?”

James’ smile faltered, eyes seeming to nearly well as it became harder for you to cheek the apples of your cheeks up. “I leave our front door and I- I feel like I wake up as I come back through it.”

Nodding in understanding, you felt the tear before you even knew it’d slipped onto your cheek. Bucky lent across the table and wiped it with his right thumb, the feel of his skin against yours grounding you for a moment.

“We haven’t got long, this means she’s thinking of us, she’ll know that we’re-”

“Hey, hey, I know,” He cooed, getting out of his seat and rounding the table to crouch beside you. “We’ll find our moment, but you just have to be strong, we cant show our fear-”

“Darling!” James sighed as he pushed his plate up the table. “Your meatloaf is my favorite!”

“God! They always get so close, I know they must be trying so hard.”

The television broadcast wavered slightly, seemingly weakening for a moment but still producing the bright technicolor.

“They’re two of the strongest and smartest we have, Wanda must be doing a number on them to reduce them to this.”

The electrical whirring of the old-fashioned set still sounded in the background as they got the same message.

“PLEASE STAND BY.”

#and here we go again #wanda maximoff smut #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #scarlet witch x reader #scarlet witch x female reader #scarlet witch smut #wandavision imagine #wandavision smut #wandavision spoilers

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sister-dear · 3 years ago

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Sentence Structure and Flow

Someone on discord asked me about how I structure sentences and how I learned to write. I’m going to do my best to answer! Hopefully it’s useful. It got long, so I made it a Tumblr post.

On learning to write:

Sky_squido, the author of “What Hyrule Hadn’t Seen” made this presentation and there were several points in it that I found incredibly helpful.

The two main ideas that I found most beneficial:

It’s about the ~vibes. Every story or scene has some kind of overall theme or emotion. Once you’re far enough into your story to have found what that is, edit your word choice to match. If a word technically works but doesn’t fit the mood, replace it with something else. The actual definition of a word is sometimes less important than the emotion that word conveys.

Verbs are incredibly important. If you’re having trouble with your sentence structure - if your story seems boring or like the prose drags - look at your verbs. I tend to use “is” as a verb far too often (or “was” for those of you who write past tense), so a lot of my editing comes down to reworking some sentences to make the stronger, more interesting words be the action words. So instead of “Legend was walking,” the sentence would be “Legend walked.” Or, even better, “Legend strolled/stalked/slouched along.” We’ve gone from a passive sentence to something that tells us, in engaging fashion, not just what Legend’s doing but how he’s doing it and maybe even a little about how he’s feeling.

Filter Words

Another post I found incredibly helpful: examples of how to cut out ‘filter words.’ It’s great for adding urgency, establishing tone, and introducing strong descriptions into your writing. Basically, this is how to put ‘show, don’t tell,’ into practice at a sentence-structure level. I use this approach a lot when it comes to conveying character emotion.

A couple other points

Variation is your friend.

Repeating things draws attention.

Description slows things down.

1. Variation is your friend.

For most writing, it’s a good idea to vary your sentence structure and length. Dialogue with no tags is rapid. Same with short sentences. Short and choppy reads disjointed and fast. This also applies to paragraph lengths! Longer sentences and paragraphs read slower, and in turn cause your reader to linger; sometimes maybe even linger too much. A combination keeps things interesting.

Too many long sections in a row - be they sentences or paragraphs - causes reader fatigue. Don’t be afraid to break those up. Let your readers take a breather.

If all your sentences start the same way, rework some of them. Lead with the action in one sentence and the subject in the next.

Starting a new paragraph gets a reader’s attention. You can use this for punch.

You should have one topic, or one person speaking, per paragraph.

Important things go at the start of the paragraph. Readers won’t tend to remember as much stuff from the middle or ends. Speed readers might not read those sections at all. The above note about one topic per paragraph? This is why.

2. Repeating things draws attention.

This applies to everything from individual words to overall themes to something like a series of sentences all with the same structure. It can work for you or against you.

A lot of my editing winds up being me reworking sentences to avoid using the same word too closely in succession. I’m not talking basic words here, like ‘he’ and ‘said.’ Those are non-words. If you have enough strong words around them, they disappear. They’re fine. But to use a snippet from a current work in progress:

...(Legend) bares his teeth, river water dripping off his hair and sticking his tunic to his legs. He braces his legs, wet muck squelching over the sides of his boots.

I wound up changing to “sticking his tunic to his thighs” to avoid the repeated word “legs.” I didn’t want to draw attention to his legs themselves, but the state of them. “He braces his feet,” would also work, or I could just cut the sentence down. “He braces,” does the trick just as well, and might be what I go with for the final draft. If the sentence makes sense without the word, then you can let the unneeded word go and your writing will often be stronger for it.

This can be much harder to do with nouns than verbs. Sometimes you just need to call a sword a sword. That’s usually where I start to alternate between a small group of words. “Sword,” “blade,” and “weapon” can all be alternated between to try to avoid using the same word too close together. You might also be able to get around using the problem word at all, as in the example above.

Another note on non-words. Names and pronouns qualify! You can use them over and over again and readers won’t notice. In fact, trying not to use these words can actually draw more attention than just using them!

For example, referring to Hyrule as “the Traveler.” Is it relevant, in the context of what I am writing, that Hyrule travels a lot? Or am I just trying to avoid using his name too much? If the answer is the latter, either don’t bother or change your sentence structure to remove the name entirely. If you have a solid action word, the name will disappear in favor of the action.

Using ‘Traveler’ in this context draws attention away from whatever Hyrule’s doing to what he is. That may not be the best thing to draw attention to. If what you are writing is a story about Hyrule finally getting a safe place of his own to call a home, you could use it for contrast. In which case, save it. Use it once, so it has impact. But if I'm writing about Hyrule teasing Legend, referring to him in that way can disrupt the flow of the story. It draws attention away from Hyrule's personality and his interaction with Legend to his background.

The point is to do it deliberately! It’s okay to use names and pronouns a lot. ‘Traveller’ is a title. Titles stand out.

3. Description slows things down.

Anywhere you want to linger or draw attention is where your descriptions should be going.

The middle of a fast paced action scene where your character is concentrating on the fight might not be the best spot to go into deep detail about the surroundings or what the enemy looks like. Convey those details in bursts that are worked into the action: “Time nearly rolls his ankle on the rocky ground.” Be very sparing. What makes an action scene interesting is how the character feels about what’s happening. You only need enough information on what the surroundings look like for a reader to follow along, and you can probably do most of that setup in a brief paragraph before the actual action starts.

On the other hand, if your character takes a shocking injury in said fight and you really want to dwell on that moment? Or if they’ve got a really cool, flashy move that they unleash in one single exciting burst of fighting prowess? That’s the spot to let your inner poet shine. Slow those spots down and let the reader really enjoy what you’re doing by using your detailed descriptions there.

This applies to all action, not just fighting. Walking through a busy marketplace? Action. A conversation? Can be approached as action. The best spots to use lots of description will be the spots you want to linger on: the first glimpse of a long-lost friend through the crowd, that last hug as they say goodbye.

Description slows things down. Use it accordingly.

Most everything else I can think of is less to do with flow and structure and more to do with other aspects of writing, so I'll stop here.

#writing #resource #reference

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plush-rabbit · 3 years ago

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Asmodeus Comforting A Chubby Partner

Request: i was wondering if you could do hc's maybe for an insecure/chubby!reader x asmo? (both n/sfw are fine. whatever you're more comfy with) he's my favourite/comfort character but he very clearly loves beautiful things... as someone who isn't "traditionally/stereotypically beautiful" it makes me feel very insecure that he probably wouldn't be attracted to me. cellulite, stretch marks and scars riddle my body from years of extreme weight loss and gain from various eating disorders and harmful, unhealthy coping mechanisms. it's a lot of projection but ig i'm just worried he'd see like my loose tummy skin and be repulsed by it or the stretch marks on not just the "typical" places like thighs, stomach, bum, etc. etc. but places like my arms, shoulders and sides too.

Warnings: eating disorders + scaring briefly mentioned, allusion to self harm

A/N: Don’t ever worry about what I write for!! I’m willing to write a lot (also babes, i obvs don’t know you but please believe that you’re gorgeous, beauty standards fuck us all over and i need you to understand that your marks are all kisses from your body and marks to kiss. I’m sure you’re lovely and i hope you find love within yourself xoxo)

Absorbed with his beauty in the first few weeks that you’ve stayed with at the House of Lamentation, Asmodeus hadn’t noticed your lack of self-love. It’s only until later that he can see your forlorn glances at a mirror, the way you try to hide yourself under baggy clothing or long sleeved shirts. Of course, it’s a bit chilly in Devildom, but it doesn’t sit right with him. He brings you to his room that smells like lilies and strawberries, letting you sit down beside him as he grabs your hand, painting it a matching set as himself. With you in hand, he’ll ask you about yourself, slowly prying into your view about yourself. A deep frown will tug against the corners of his mouth and he’ll furrow his brows. He’s been aware of beauty standards in the Human Realm but he had never thought it was so dire to affect your own perception of yourself.

As the love and relationship between the both of you progresses, he’s focused on trying to make you feel better about yourself but in doing so he has to open some wounds. He knows that it hurts, and he’s pained to see you cry, looking nervously at you and fiddling with the ends of his hair but he means well. He tries to understand you, to feel a deeper connection with you and he’ll hold you as you cry onto his shirt. Once you’re done, he’ll let you calm down for a few minutes, offer you some water and dry your eyes, his fingertips grazing against your skin ever so slightly. With every word that you spewed with hate, he’ll counter it with adoration. He’ll hold your hands and comment about how they fit into his perfectly, the soft plush cheeks that you have, your lips that taste of sweet nectar and the marks against your skin that are perfect kissing spots.

He adores your cellulite. You may not think much of it and see it as a hindrance but to him, it reminds him just how soft you are. While demons and the alike are fun and he enjoys the time that he has spent with them he adores you. You’re a human, you’re soft and always changing. He likes to see your body, the way that it has changed, the pale lines marking over your skin like lightning bolts against the night sky. You’ll often find him tracing over it, his fingers walking over your skin and letting the stretch marks take him where they need to be. The stretch marks that lace over your stomach, the ones that pull and wrinkle your skin are something that he enjoys to look at. The groves trace under his fingertips and he’s reminded that you’re human, that you trust him with your plump body despite the mannerisms that he shows at times. Your worth is not put onto your body, it’s put against who you are and he loves everything sweet about you.

The Avatar of Lust is many things and loves many things, and one of those happens to be you. His charm doesn’t work on you and while it was a disappointment at first, it was also a grace hidden by it. You grew to care for him, for him. You loved the sweet nature of him that is hidden by childish jealousy, you adore the way that he tries not to cry at movies, less it ruins his makeup. You adore the small things about him. He fell for your beauty and soon fell for you. He loves beautiful things and his past partners might share a similar type but it doesn’t dictate his only standard of beauty. Beauty comes late at night when the moon is bright, beauty comes at seeing a lover wrapped in a silky bathrobe that’s matched with the other. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and he beholds many things that are beautiful. He seeks you out because you care for him in a way that he hasn’t realized he wanted- you hold his hand and you seek him out for pure enjoyment rather than lustful reasons.

His lips will trace against your body, his hands held tight in yours and he reminds you in all the ways that matter that he loves your body. You’re human, you change and that’s all right by him. Your loose skin is soft, plush and squishing under his slender fingers. If you allow him to, he’ll kiss your skin, let his pink lips pepper against your burning body and he can feel his sin tug at him. He wants to care for your body, to let you feel the pleasure that roams throughout him. His hand will curve over your tummy, his lips close to yours as he tells how delightful you look under him.

Perhaps it's because a few of his past lovers have looked a certain way, but he truly does love your scars. He likes to see your scars of tales from the time before. He might not know how you got them, but from the way you become nervous, he can only guess. He sees your scars as growth, you are in a different place, you are healing both physically and mentally. The scars are from someone long ago, from some cruel and uncaring, and now he’ll kiss them with a cheeky smile, merely telling you that he enjoys kissing your skin. In a desperate attempt to change the subject, he’ll pull you to another part of the house, commenting how he needs help with a class.

While he does love your body, your own happiness comes before his own pleasure. He wants to know that you truly do love yourself and if you don’t, he’ll pout but your happiness means much more. If you really do feel so bad about your scars, he’s willing to go and buy whatever cream is necessary to help aid in fading your marks. He’ll rub the cool cream against your belly, his smile melancholic as he tells you a story. He isn’t fond of changing you, but if it makes you happy and helps erase the scars that you try so desperately to hide, then who is he to complain about your body? He will remind you throughout the process that he does love your body, that whatever you do, is for your happiness because no matter what, he’ll be happy with you.

When he learns of your rather unhealthy coping mechanisms, he heart aches. He becomes rather dependent during this time, wanting to stay close to you for fear of hurting yourself in some type of way. He trusts in you but knowing that you would have harmed yourself makes him rather jittery. He’ll use the title that he has to find someone to talk to because while he would love nothing more than to listen to you, he is not qualified to be the one giving you advice. He’ll still spend hours scouring the internet looking for a way to help you- different medians, alternative ways to feel the sort of satisfaction that you might derive from it and anything else he can understand and see it fitting for you.

He rather have you do things in a healthy way that won’t ruin your body and mind. If you are keen to lose weight, you’re going to do it carefully. As the relationship unfurls into a blossoming flower, he becomes bolder in his actions. He won’t assume what you want to look like, but he wants to help so he’ll find a plan perfect for you and work alongside you. He loves beautiful things and he finds you to be beautiful and if you want to alter a few things about yourself, he’ll support you. Whatever disorders you had in the past, he knows how to care for them and you, he’ll make sure you eat well and treat yourself. You’re his and he isn’t going to let human standards take you away from him. Body image is something that he tries to keep perfect as much as he can and the clothes that you wear are an important factor in how you feel. He’ll change your wardrobe- steadily, of course- and allow you to feel better with what you wear. The clothes will be there to help frame your body in a more flattering way than anything baggy could ever, and he’ll have you model for him, taking pictures and uploading them to Devilgram just to show off how cute you look.

Asmodeus is the Avatar of Lust. He’s the narcissistic fifth born who loves himself and everything beautiful second to only himself. He values how he looks and takes great care of his body. He can be catty and whip out insults in less than a second. But, he is a caring lover, someone soft and sweet, attentive to the needs of his lover. Human beauty standards are something that he understands but he is a demon. He is monstrous and ugly, blood pouring from his hands and forever fretting over how he looks. You, however, are none of those things. You are soft, caring and sweet. You care for him, not the lustful part of him, but for the demon that he is. He’s sorry that he let you believe that he wouldn’t love you, that your marks are blemishes that stain your beauty, but you have to understand that they aren’t. He'd never reject your body, he’d hold you close and let his hands soothe over the parts you dislike while he tells you how gorgeous you are, muttering his praise until your heart beats against your chest and he’s giggling at your reactions. Until you’re gone, he’ll lay in his bed, arms spread wide that his fingertips can barely reach the edge of the bed and he’ll smile to himself, his heart fluttering and chest feeling light, knowing that he made you smile.

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ilikekidsshows · 4 years ago

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Do you think Marinette has to or will be the first to confess before they can get together?You've mentioned a couple times how her confession scenarios seem to hinge on getting Adrien to go first and it has been an important character goal so far,so it feels like something should come of that, but I don't know, maybe there's a reason she's having so much trouble with it?Maybe it would actually help her if Adrien went first?But then, he has shown that it's no big deal for him so it feels to easy?

We got Adrien confessing first in ‘Cat Blanc’, it didn’t lead to good things. But why exactly was it like that? I’ll explain!

To start off, I think Adrien being the one to confess to Marinette would be a total copout. The series has built up Marinette's struggle in trying to confess to Adrien for over three seasons now. Adrien being the one to confess would take away Marinette's chance at concluding her own story arc of her confession woes. From a storytelling perspective, Adrien confessing just doesn't have the same weight. As you said, Adrien can confess his feelings easily. What triumph is there in him telling Marinette he loves her first? Marinette is the one who's been trying to overcome her own communication issues to reach Adrien and having the main communication issue plotline conclude with someone else communicating in Marinette's stead would be in bad form. This is also why Adrien can't discover Marinette's feelings by accident and why no other character can reveal Marinette's feelings. Marinette's inability to spit out her feelings to Adrien is Marinette's problem and, in fictional stories, other people aren't supposed to come out and solve the main character's problems because it removes their agency in a storyline that's supposed to be about them. This is why Fullmetal Alchemist concludes with Edward punching Father in the face instead of one of the myriad of adults present taking care of the problem with their guns or their own fists. The story was about Ed's journey.

Marinette is a bit of a control freak when it comes to romance. Romantic situations and pursuits make her so nervous, because she doesn't have a set way to proceed ahead. This can be seen in Marinette's other pursuits too. Like, in video games you can progress as long as you know the game mechanics, and most games teach you their mechanics right off the bat, and we don't see Marinette stressing about video games at any point. In sewing Marinette can also follow certain styles and approaches, and the end product is the entire point, so it's good as long as it looks as it should. The only time Marinette is nervous about sewing is when she has to fit someone else's standards, because she doesn't know those standards ahead of time. Similarly, in romance, Marinette needs to account for a whole other human being and their emotions, which makes her freak out.

Marinette is also the living embodiment of the Motifying Ordeal of Being Known meme. As a former bully victim, she's still very nervous over doing something embarrassing and being laughed at for it. Her and Luka's first meeting almost went very wrong when Luka laughed at her stuttering, for example. And Marinette acts in very embarrassing ways around Adrien; she stutters, she trips over herself, she runs into walls, her feelings are so intense that acting on them can be embarrassing by itself without anything having to go wrong (she sniffs him). Marinette needs to seize control of herself and her emotions in order to truly progress, this can be seen in how often her pursuit of Adrien has blinded her to others, causing her to hurt them without intending to.

Marinette's lack of self discipline is the reason why Adrien confessing would be easier on Marinette, but why it's also not the solution from a character writing perspective. If Adrien takes control of the progress of their relationship, it makes it unnecessary for Marinette to communicate her feelings better. Marinette has a tendency to think that some things just can't be helped after they've occurred, so she just lets things be even when it would be in her best interest to try to change her situation. Marinette repeatedly called herself "lame" during season two but still never tried to alter her own behavior to be less lame, she didn't think she could control it. This is another conflict of Marinette's character; she tries to control the aspects of her life she'd be better off not trying to control so much, while treating things she has a chance of controlling as unavoidable. And that's why her plans for getting with Adrien are so focused on getting him on a date first before the confession, when many other people would just ask him out on a date and see how he responds.

Adrien being the first to confess would be the easy answer to the problem and, as far as I can tell, the point of 'Cat Blanc' was to showcase how easy solutions don't last. This is why Marinette's hair is out of the twintails look during the timeline; it symbolises her letting down her guard (I'll discuss this more in my upcoming hairstyle analysis). An important theme of Miraculous seems to be self-actualization: being yourself, expressing yourself and making decisions for yourself. When a story has themes, the narrative will often "punish" characters for going against those themes, the plot functioning as a karmic force to teach them a lesson relating to that theme. It's not about the character having a moral failing, but simply the character being used to enforce the story's themes.

An unrelated note: many people salting this show for its "treatment of Marinette" are translating Marinette needing to learn lessons relating to the show's themes as the narrative treating Marinette like she has a moral failing by "forcing her to apologise for things that aren't her fault". As I just explained, that's not what's happening. Marinette much more often makes a thematic mistake than a moral one. In the real world, people don't need to overcome their character flaws as long as they don't negatively impact their lives but, for a fictional character, being static means being stuck in a rut. Marinette not being able to communicate with Adrien threatens her self expression so, narratively, she needs to overcome it.

Finishing up with my usual summation: Adrien being the one to confess would benefit Marinette as a person, taking away a large source of stress for her. However, Adrien being the one to confess would irrevocably damage Marinette as a character by removing her chance to grow. It would also narratively weaken the confession because Marinette succeeding in her confession should be a moment of triumph after all of her struggles, and Adrien doing it wouldn't have the same cathartic factor, since confessing his romantic feelings has never been a challenge for him.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #lovesquare #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #ml meta #long post #popular

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hyunjilicious · 4 years ago

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what is and what should never be [bucky barnes]

A/n: ok, so. Im really fucking insecure about this. I literally poured my heart into this fic. I'm genuinely unhappy with the beginning, but I promise you, it gets better!! I don't have it in me to rewrite it for the 4th time. I really hope you'll still like it though. If you ask me, this is the best fic idea I even had. Please, please, if you enjoyed it, let me know!!!

Summary: It was you and Bucky. An unlikely couple that shared equally disturbed pasts. When you get a day off, your paradise turns into hell as Bucky's nightmares return, leaving you alone to deal with The Winter Soldier. (FLUFF, SMUT, ANGST) 12k

Warnings: 2 smut scenes - they're graphic but not extreme, fluff, angst, violence, mentions of death and suicide, blood, a fight scene - also quite graphic but it was written to serve the angst. I don't want to spoil the ending, but if you really connect with the characters, you will not hate me!!

This day had been long awaited. After months of back to back missions and endless efforts to climb up the greasy pole of US social standards, words failed to describe how ecstatic you were to know, that for the next 24 hours, your whole schedule would fully be in your hands.

You had the freedom to do just about anything you wanted, and the simple fact that the rest of the avengers left to deal with some paperwork excited you to no end. You woke up when it was time for them to take off, and made a snarky remark about heading to the gym - something along the lines of having a productive day centered on self development.

Just about 20 minutes later, you and Bucky, now also alone in the Stark Tower, decided to start off your day on the right foot. He offered to make protein smoothies as you changed into something comfortable and fitting for a workout, but neither of you got their job done.

You had no idea how that happened, but before you knew it you were wearing your sports bra and still had your pajama pants on, moaning on the counter of Tony's kitchen as Bucky had lodged himself between your legs, hungrily exploring the heated skin of your neck, peppering you with bruise marks that represented his adoration for you. "You heal fast anyway" he shrugged, pulling you closer and digging his teeth into your flesh, sucking profusely and eliciting an erotic moan from your lips.

With every new hickey he left, another one would disappear, which in turn would make him even more frustrated, “The hell should I do? Tattoo hickeys on you!?” he groaned, moving up your neck. You caught his cheeks into your palms and kissed him back, smiling as he kept getting more and more aggravated.

It didn't come as a surprise when the blender went berserk, splattering fruit pulp, almond milk and protein powder all over the pristine walls of the room - both of you have long forgotten about it.

The way Bucky cleaned the mess was the epitome of not giving a shit, and you couldn't find it more endearing. He bitched and whined his way through the whole process, and tears formed at the corners of your eyes at the ridiculousness of the half assed job he just did.

You eventually reached the gym - of course, against all your pouting and begging to put off this session. "Doll, you're the only avenger who can't fight. A punk on the street could snap your purse and there would be nothing you can do"

Wrong, he was not. You couldn't fight - but at the same time that didn't mean you were defenceless. It was your immense power that for months on end made your teammates consider you a liability. The energy that surged through your veins had been too great for you to handle, and in fact, it still was, but now, thanks to the joined efforts of Tony and Bruce, there was a way for that power to be contained. Their solution came in the form of two massive shackles wrapped around the length of your forearms. They were made of dimeritium and kept all kinds of energy from leaving your body. But, even so, that energy was in full form, buzzing inside every fiber of your being. And so, while wearing them you couldn't attack anyone, but there wasn't a way for them to harm you either. That field of energy protected you from every kind of damage and wounds you had ever encountered, ranging from fist fights to automatic rifles to guided grenades.

"I'm the only one that doesn't need to know" you huffed and puffed, annoyed but still determined to get this first training session done with.

But that never happened. Halfway through your warm up rounds, your teasing side awoke and it took you about ten minutes to go from batting your eyelashes and flaunting your ass, to nonchalantly cupping his cock into your hand.

No one could blame Bucky for not even trying to stop you. Bless him, he did everything he could, but he was never able to resist you. And probably never will be.

By the time you were done at the gym, both your bodies were coated in lecherous layers of sweat, no of them being from actually working out. It was only a matter of time until you managed to break his self control and he had you sprawled on all fours in the middle of the boxing ring, moaning your soul out as he pounded your pussy.

The momentum made your whole frame rock back and forth, your hair falling around your face, "Holy fuck-"

The room vibrated with the vulgar slaps he afflicted on your bare ass. You arched your back and cried his name out loud, "Come on, Bucky- I- harder please-"

"How are you already so needy?" he chuckled, caging your waist between his strong arms and pulling you up until your back reached his chest. "I ate this pussy this morning before we got out of bed"

"You know I love your tongue-" you giggled out of breath as you tried to look at him over your shoulder. "But it doesn't compare to your cock"

"What does?" Bucky rhetorically questioned before picking up his pace. He kept slamming his hips into yours, fucking you at full force as with each thrust, his cock rammed against your walls hard enough to make you see stars.

"I'm really fucking close, Buck" you whined, feeling your knees start to refuse to maintain your weight any longer.

"Don't cum yet" he panted, "Wait for me"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" you cried out loud, liquid pleasure seeping out of you in the form of fresh tears streaming down your cheeks. "Please-" you whined, "I can't hold it anymore, I'm-"

"Not yet, baby" Bucky groaned, easily stopping you from wiggling around in his hold. His thrusts became sloppy and the orgasm got the best of him. He buried his face deep in your shoulder as his high forced guttural moans to rip from his throat.

As he filled you up with his cum, as much as you wanted to comment about him making you wait and then not even bothering to tell you you could cum, you couldn't. Your eyes rolled back in pleasure and your chest heaved as the spiral of bliss seemed to go on and on, tons of ecstasy propagating in long painful waves across your body.

"Fuck-" Bucky panted as helped you up, "I could get used to days like this. We should retire"

"I'm not retiring-" you teasingly shook your head, "not until you find a way to give me a baby"

"I'd give you all the babies" he retorted, tugging your hand.

It caused you to lose your balance and stumble into his chest, "I love you"

"Love you" Bucky kissed the top of your head and spun you around. With his palms on your hips, he started guiding you towards the door, "Let's get you cleaned up"

And then, another wave of unproductivity followed. You showered, ordered pizza, whined about how there was still some smoothie left on the floor, and after you warned him about it, your face fell as Bucky stepped directly in the middle of the puddle of almond milk. He was fuming, the incident wiped any traces of happiness off his face. He mumbled something about that being the last pair of comfy socks he had left and something about Tony's devices being a constant pain in the ass.

He went on and on until you ambushed him with kisses up his neck and shoved your hands under his shirt. In an instant his bickering turned into soft giggles as he innocently relaxed under your touch. You eventually cleaned up the mess and tried to make yourself busy. Nothing worked, you weren't in the mood for anything and at the same time, even though you did absolutely nothing all day, you felt a wave of tiredness envelop you.

At about 4pm, and you Bucky had already been lazily laying in bed, a mess of tangled limbs under the fluffy duvet. Your conversation started from the tactical gear he swore would look better on you than on him and then wondered how you didn't know how to sow.

"I'll hit you" you threatened.

"I'm sorry" he laughed, holding onto your forearm as it was resting on his chest, "But you know how much I love it when you get angry at my misogynistic jokes"

"It's rude" you scoffed - you didn't mean his jokes, but the fact that when he grew up, women were not anywhere near where they are today.

"You know I don't mean it"

"I know you don't" you laughed, "Otherwise I'd have actually hit you"

"Don’t worry" Bucky said, "I'd hit myself if I was that stupid"

"Cute" you smiled, kissing his shoulder. Looking up at him, you promoted your chin against his chest, "Do you miss it? The 40s i mean"

He thought about it for a second. "Nah" there was a bit of nostalgia in his tone, but you believed him. "I've kinda made my peace with the fact that everyone from my old life is gone. I wouldn't want to go back now. I got you. I got all of you guys. I'm good now, really good"

"I'm glad" you beamed, feeling yourself warm up from the inside just thinking of the progress he made. After a few seconds, you spoke up again, "But what about the society? Like the day to day life? How do you like the 2010s?"

"I can't lie" Bucky laughed, "I liked Romania better. Much simpler."

"You lived in a dead beat apartment, hiding everyday" you scoffed, "How was that better?"

"I don't know… maybe it was the simple life. Apparently I'm all about that"

"You'd move back there?"

"If you came with me?" he questioned, looking down at you. There was genuine sincerity in his eyes and a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips. "Wouldn’t even think twice"

"Maybe one day" you sighed with content. You snuggled back against his side, and closed your eyes. "We're not done avenging yet" you mumbled.

He didn't say anything to that. You didn't know whether he was getting lost in thoughts or if he was starting to drift off, but you would have been fine with either. When he spoke up again, you didn't expect the conversation to take this route.

"About Romania…" he sighed, "What made you come with Steve back in 2016?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean-" he muttered, rubbing his light stubble, "I know why Steve came-" Bucky chuckled, "And Sam's all up his ass, so there's that. But what about you?"

"I-"

"I'm aware of the rift I caused between you guys back then. So that's why I'm asking. What made you stand by Steve from the beginning?"

"I knew how much you meant to him. And I know how this is going to sound, but I felt sorry for you, Buck. I know what it's like to be alone, to have everyone turn against you. You deserved better"

"Love-?" he called softly, his voice nearly breaking. "What do you mean you know what it's like to have everyone turn against you?"

As you maintained the eye contact, you felt tears prickle, "I know it wasn't fair of me to keep my past a secret, but-"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to-" he said softly, his eyes warm. The pain was readable on his features, he hated how your whole demeanour changed.

"It's not that I don't want you to know, it's just that I hate talking about it. Gives me nightmares."

"Then we can just drop it" Bucky murmured, gathering you closer.

"I wish you could know without me telling you" you laughed, "You make everything better and easier. I should've told you, I know. It isn't fair to you. We've been together for almost two years but as far as you're concerned I didn't exist until I joined the avengers. I don't even know how much they know. We never talked about it"

"Love, listen to me. I'm here whenever you want to talk about it. You didn't do anything wrong. There are a lot of things about me that you don't know either. We're not those people anymore. No one can blame us for trying to escape out past"

"Yeah, you're right" you sighed.

Gathering your power, you pushed yourself up and settled beside him, with your legs crossed. You grabbed his hand pulling it into your lap, and intertwined your fingers with his as you spoke.

"Forget the official story, there's no truth to it anyway"

"I really didn't believe your mum was a criminal and that you were in a mental asylum" he joked.

"Good-" you smiled, his words lifting the atmosphere a bit. "Truth is, I don't know anything about my parents. But I have my assumptions. I grew up in that soviet facility so I never met them. I was told it was owned by a group of socialite scientists who wanted our help"

"Our? Who's we?"

"There were 7 of us"

"Did they have the same power as you?"

"Approximately. When we were younger, we used to comply and do everything we were told but as we grew up, things started to change. We weren't happy. Who could be? Considering we were being held in cells and studied like lab rats. We started to act differently and some might even say we tried to rebel, but that didn't work obviously, and that's when the restrictions began. For the last 3 years I spent there, there hadn't been a day where the temperature passed 0°C."

Your skin crawled as you recaled the endless nights you spent shivering your way to sleep. Everything around you was ice cold. But it wasn't for the sole purpose of torturing you. It was your only weakness. As the temperature dropped, so did the movement of the atoms that made up your body - eliminating your powers to the point where you were barely alive.

"One day, as spring came, we wanted to break out. We made a plan, and figured that as soon as we were out, we'd be fine. We were wrong. We were off about the weather and they got us before we even exited the perimeter. That's when the avengers heard about us."

By now, Bucky's eyes were wide with genuine curiosity, his mouth agape as he took in the information you provided. With every word you spoke his grip tightened around your fingers and his eyebrows gathered even further. There was discomfort and anger in his features, but he didn't interrupt you once.

"After that, the restrictions got tougher. We realised there was no way out. A lot of things came together in that small time frame. I realised what that place actually was days after we tried to escape. My friends - or that's what I thought they were, figured out another plan. Why fight when you can just eliminate the premise?"

Bucky moved his lips but no words came out. He cleaned his throat and sat up a bit, "What- what do you mean?"

"They tried to kill me" you said, plastering a sympathetic smile on your lips, hoping it would make it easier for him to hear.

"What the fuck. Why?"

"I think my dad used to be part of that team. And I think he made me the way I am. Now I don't know why he wasn't around anymore, but that team wasn't trying to get us to do anything. They were trying to make more of me. So if I was dead-"

"There would be no reason to keep the other kids…" Bucky finished the sentence for you.

You nodded.

"And what happened?"

You bowed your head trying to find a way to put your words together. Bucky didn't rush you, just reassuringly rubbed his thumb across your knuckles, waiting. When a tear from your cheek slipped and landed on the back of his hand, you looked up and took a deep breath. "I killed them. All of them."

He didn't say anything. Didn’t move a muscle, as he waited for you to continue.

"I didn't even want to do that, Buck" you sobbed, breaking down. "I killed over 20 people because I was afraid. I didn't even move. I was in the corner of my room the whole time, but everyone who approached me was fried to death. I don't even know how I did that. I was just scared"

"Oh, baby" Bucky cooed, pushing himself up to wrap his arms around you. You fell against his chest, crumbling in his embrace. "I hope you know that was not your fault, ok?" he asked, rubbing your back. "You were just a kid, alone and afraid. It breaks my fucking heart, those bastards. Please don't feel sorry for them"

"I feel sorry for the other kids"

"They tried to kill you, Y/n" Bucky countered, "If you hadn't killed them, I would've gone after them. All of them"

"They were desperate..."

"So were you!"

"I can't help but feel like a monster sometimes, you know? Like I'm reckless and out of control. There are times when I'm all happy and excited about what tomorrow would bring, and then i remember what I did, and I have a hard time fighting away the thoughts that try to tell me I don't deserve that"

"What you deserve is the fucking world ok?" Bucky said, tilting your chin so you could see just how serious he was. "This past couple of years, you saved hundreds of lives and I know for a fact you did it out of the pure kindness of your heart, not because you wanted to make up for anything in the past. You're a fucking angel. You're the embodiment of good, you hear me? I know you. You'll never understand how much respect I have for you, and how in awe I am with the kind of person you are. Please, don't ever think less of yourself. Ever, ok?"

Tears rolled down your cheeks as his words proved to be much more than you were able to hear at that moment. "Thanks, Buck. That's sweet of you to say-"

"It's not sweet of me to say, it's the fucking truth" he scoffed, but he somehow managed to make it sound loving. "You didn't even fucking try, but just being around you made me feel like a person again. You're amazing, Y/n. We're all lucky to have you. I'm lucky to have you."

"You're gonna make me cry" you sniffled, curling yourself into a ball against his chest, "I know you were in a dark place when we met. I'm glad I managed to help you through it"

"You pulled me through it" he sighed, tightening his hold around you. "I went from wanting to die, to thinking that I didn't even deserve the easy way out. Look at me now."

"Buck, stop"

"I love you so fucking much" Bucky laughed.

His whole frame shook as he pulled you back down, safely holding you between his arms, "You're amazing" he added, kissing the top of your head, "Perfect"

"I said, stop" you chuckled, slapping his side, "I get it, you like me, can we-"

"I adore you" Bucky cut you off after grabbing the sides of your face between his palms. "And thanks for trusting me. I know it wasn't easy for you to talk about your past, so thank you. I'm always here for you. If there's anything ever, I got you, ok? Forever"

"I got you too" you added, kissing his cheek and then moving along his jawline, "No matter what happens, you'll always have me on your side. I'm all yours, Bucky"

"Yeah, you are, doll. All mine"

After that talk, how you managed to fall into a deep sleep will always remain a mystery. Nightmares didn't make their way into your mind, and you settled for a dreamless slumber, actually fully content for the first time in a long while.

But not everybody processed grief the same way. And if Bucky mentioned earlier that he was lucky to have you, as you were pulled out of your sleep, you realised that he wasn't as lucky as you were when it came to the mysteries that creep up on you when you least expect them.

"Wake up sunshine"

The sound reached your ears, but it wasn't Bucky's voice, so you just groaned in response and rolled over to the other side, completely pressing your face into the pillow.

"Buttercup, it's time to wake up"

The voice seemed uneasy, as if the person speaking was actually terrified. You opened your eyes wearily, and were met with the usual, complete darkness of your room.

"Come on, Y/n" they spoke again. You turned to see one of Tony's maintenance robots hovering above your body, one small screen lit up on its front. Blinking a few times to rid yourself of the sleep still lingering in your eyes, you managed to make out the faces of Tony and Steve, both staring at you.

"What's going on?" you mumbled.

"You've got incoming," Tony announced, and then shook his head at whatever someone next to him had said. The microphone wasn't performant enough for you to hear what the other person said, but it was not like you cared.

"Incoming what?" you questioned, still confused out of your mind.

He turned his attention back to you, "The asshole"

You frowned and Steve scoffed, "Y/n, it's Bucky. He's not well"

"Wh-" you mumbled, your head snapping to the side, only then realising his side of the bed was empty. You shuffled your arm around the sheets, still warm. "What- what happened?"

"He's gone rogue, Y/n" Steve announced, genuine worry and guilt audible in his voice, "You need to make sure he doesn't leave. You need to stop him"

Tony's workstation. You needed to get the shackles off your arms if you wanted to stand a chance, "Tony? How do I take these off?" you asked, pointing to your cuffs.

"Already taken care off" he nodded, "Get to my desk, it's unlocked. All you need to do is actually get there. If you can"

"If I can-?" you began asking, but a loud explosion sound cut you off, causing the bed to shake as a wind blew through your room. "What the fuck!?"

"He may have found the grenade launchers" Tony smiled bitterly.

"Y/n," Steve called for you, "Please, be careful. And call us. Me and Nat will take the jet but I don't know-"

"Don't worry" you shook your head, jumping off the bed and rushing to your closet. You chose the first clothes you saw laying before your eyes and put them on, ready to go look for Bucky. "I got this, I promise"

"Oh, and Y/n?" Tony said, making you turn to him at the last minute, "Try not to fry my tower"

You nodded and refrained from making any promises you didn't know you could keep.

As soon as you walked out the door, the sound of automatic rifles going off became deafening. Stepping over piles of broken glass, you made your way to the emergency staircase, heading to Tony's lab. You did so with maximal caution, knowing that if you were spotted, there would be no going back.

Descending the last remaining flight of stairs until his work station, a rush of adrenaline surged through you, knowing just how close you were. Silently rounding the corner, your eyes landed on Bucky's frame, easily holding one of the remaining SHIELD agents up by the neck.

He turned to look at you, eyes cold and empty. Not even rage. There was nothing there. No expression, no empathy, no feeling. It was as if he was dead. This wasn't him.

"Buck-" you panted, raising your hands up in the air, signaling surrender. You eyed Tony's desk, determined to stall him until you managed to free yourself of the cuffs.

You took a cautious step to the side, hands still up in the air. Bucky watched you as the man struggled against his hold, legs spasming uncontrollably as he kicked and squirmed, even though it was so clearly in vain.

"Don’t mind me-" you smiled, sweat flooding your pores as you slowly approached your destination. "I'll just-"

"You'll just what-?" Bucky groaned, flinging his victim with impeccable ease. The agent's body flew across the room, crushing into the only device that had the power to help you get through this. As the work station crumpled under his weight, so did your hopes of getting out of this.

"Bucky, hey-" you mumbled, afraid of pissing him off, "I-"

"Who the hell is Bucky?" he frowned, starting to march towards you. Your blood ran cold, knowing you didn't have what it took to keep up with him. You were never able to dodge anyone's blows, let alone his. When he reached you, his hand instantly reached around your neck, lifting you off the floor, "SHIELD?" he asked after taking a look at your attire. Although not carrying the emblem, it was probably the only explanation that made sense to him.

"Well, um-" you huffed, holding onto his wrist in hopes of not running out air, "No, not SHIELD"

"Then who are you?" he growled, tightening his hold on your windpipe.

"Fuck-" you gasped, kicking your legs, even through he didn't even flinch when you hit him. "You're not gonna believe this but, um-"

"Try me"

You looked into his eyes, hoping it would serve as some kind of a memento, that maybe he'd remember you. "You know me, Buck. It's Y/n, I'm- your girlfriend?"

Even saying it made you feel weird. This killing machine, apparently hell bent on wrecking havoc, was not the man you loved, and you cringed just imagining his reaction to hearing your words.

And it did turn out to be worse than expected, as he spun around, doing a complete 180° with your body before slamming you down on the floor. The wood cracked under your bones, knocking the wind out of you. The pain of the impact was excruciating, propagating along your body in waves of some physical agony you had never felt before. The sound of your bones cracking made you sick to your stomach. Your ears caught the sound of your arteries being torn as your organs collapsed.

And if you felt every inch of your body being shattered and destroyed, it was God's way of making you pay for your parent's mistakes, as when your wounds healed mere seconds later, the pain did not go away. Your nerve receptors still registered damage to the tissues, and no matter whether you were actually as good as new, your brain couldn't process that.

What consumed you the most was the fact that as you struggled to stand up, the pain of broken limbs lingered on. But you fought through it, gathered yourself and stood up, facing him again.

You winced with every muscle contraction, but eventually your eyes met his. He showed curiosity, along with something else. Something else which you wished wasn't determination to finish you.

"Can we-" you whimpered, extending a hand, "Can we talk?"

"Talk!?" Bucky raged, grabbing your wrist and twisting your arm to the point where he spun you around, your back pressing against his chest. "Not here to talk" he growled into your ear.

The hairs on your body stood as you heard his voice. Even though it was technically the same voice you loved more than anything in the world, it made you now shiver with a fear you've never experienced before.

You didn't get a chance to sink too deep in your thoughts before Bucky raised your arm, dislocating your shoulder and busting your humerus into pieces. The pain cut your legs at the knees and you screamed in agony, falling to the floor at his feet.

"Stand up" he commanded, slamming his foot into your side. The momentum made your body roll away, until you settled back on the ground, face deep in the rubble. Your muscles pulled you to your feet with ease, but the pain coursing through you was immense, nowhere near close to what you thought bearable. You felt the skin being ripped from your body and when you looked down, your clothes were torn, soaked in blood, but your skin was intact. It was what you needed to keep going - to get inside your head the fact that you were fine, because at this point, the pain was one bruise away from making you faint.

"Bucky, please-" you cried.

"Stop calling me Bucky!" he yelled, starting to approach you again.

With every step he took, you slowly backed away. "Please, listen to me, just a second, please!"

He shook his head no, a demented smile on his lips as he closed in on you.

"Bucky-"

As a reply to your question, his fist flew up, slamming into your jaw, hard enough to throw you to the ground, "Why do you keep calling me-"

"What else do you want me to call you, huh?" you yelled at him, vision blurred under too many layers of tears. "Tell me, and I'll do it if it'll get you to listen to me."

"I don't want you to call me anything-" he cocked his head to the side, unstrapping a handgun from his thigh. He loaded it as you barely managed to crawl away, "You can take the pain. I respect that. Let's see how well you do with these lead bullets"

You saw them in slow motion, barely managing to duck your head behind the remains of what once was a heavy wooden bookshelf. The bullets missed your chest and face, but you saw them, felt them penetrate your skin, ripping through your muscles.

The sound of your tissues being pulled to shreds made you feel sick to your stomach. As the bullets left your body, your wounds closed back up, leaving you a crying mess on the floor. Your throat constricted due to the wave of shock that hit your body, and your lungs started hyperventilating. Lightheaded and gasping for air, you struggled to crawl away from him, tears marching down your face and ending up on the floor, nothing but diluting the droplets of blood that had fallen from your body mere minutes before. Your heart was in overdrive and your vision blurred as every fiber of your being threatened to let you down. "Please-" you screamed, your voice breaking as you raised your hand for him, "Let's talk, please. That's all I want. Give me a minute"

But he didn't. He didn't even consider it. Instead, the force that controlled the body of the only man that ever managed to make you feel safe, tortured, destroyed and consumed your body for what felt like the better part of an eternity.

You had been thrown through walls, shattered windows, had glass shards lodged into your body from all angles. He unloaded cannon after cannon on you, used up all the ammo he had on him, only growing more and more annoyed when you refused to give up.

There was no way to know how much time had passed. Now you were standing by the window, inches away from the spot where two nights ago, you and Bucky clicked your glasses, smiling at how far you both had come. He laughed, saying he wouldn't have made it without you. And then he kissed you, confessing that the thought that maybe you couldn't have made it without him either, was what kept him going.

And then there you were. 48 hours later, again, just the two of you. But now there weren't any champagne glasses between you, just his metal arm, wrapped around your neck, this time, as he said, for the last time.

"I don't get it-" he scowled, teeth gritted and frustration in his voice, "Why don't you fight me?"

"I can't fight you" you whimpered as your tears poured down against his cold hand, "And even if I could, I wouldn't."

"WHY?" Bucky screamed, and for a second, you thought you saw a crack there, a glister of emotion hidden deep in his otherwise beautiful eyes.

"Because I love you" you cried.

But there was none. He rolled his eyes and pushed you back, your body slamming into the window. You should've thought faster, been more witty and considerate, but terror washed over you and in the heat of the moment, you grabbed onto him for dear life, pulling him down with you, plummeting to the ground from what looked like the 70th floor of the Stark Tower.

If until now you had been afraid of what you'd have to endure, it was now that you met true terror. You'd survive the fall, but he wouldn't.

Even in the air, approaching the ground at a dangerous speed, he kept fighting you. Even in this state, you admired his determination - he had a job and wanted to get it done - even if that job was killing you. A man of his word.

By now, the pain was unnoticeable. If you wanted to keep him alive you had to act fast. Clinging to his body despite his vicious protests and ruthless blows, you used your momentum to turn the two of you around. And you did so at the last second, as before you knew it, your bodies crashed into the boulevard below, sinking down into the asphalt as it crumpled under your weight.

The impact cut your breath away and there was a gnawing feeling all over your body, as if you had blades under your skin, pulling your body apart fiber by fiber. But you snapped out of it.

"Bucky!" you yelled, slapping his cheek.

He had fallen completely on top of you, his head pressed against your chest. He didn't move and the continuous buzz in your ears made it physically impossible for you to tell whether he was breathing for not.

"Bucky, please-" you cried, trying to move him so you could see his face.

Nothing.

"No, no, no!!" you screamed, "You can't die, baby, please! Not like this, love. Please come back to me, Buck, I'm begging you!!"

You remained there and wailed, with him glued to your chest. Your arms had wrapped around his motionless frame, keeping him as close as you could. Nothing could have gotten you to stop. Tens of people gathered around the crater your fall created around your bodies, police showed up, cameras were pointed at your faces, but you didn't care. If he died, so would you.

"You're all I have, baby-" you muttered, voice hoarse and dry from all the wailing and crying, "Please, you can't leave me. This can't be the end of us. Please, I don't know what to do, Bucky, please!"

You were soaked. In blood, and you didn't even know whether it was his or yours. God, how you hoped it all belonged to you, how the pool of blood you laid in was all yours. Tears soaked your face, pouring down your temples as your whole frame shook with your sobs, that was the true agony. You'd rather spend the rest of your days fighting for your life if it meant he got to see the sun again. You wished he'd hate you, rather than not feel anything at all ever again.

"Please-" you said again but this time your voice didn't even reach your own ears, you didn't hold that power anymore, "Please, you need to come back! You deserve so much better than this. You're the best man I have even known, you can't die like this, not today, Bucky. Not today!"

By now, the people around you had scattered. They knew your identities and for all the wrong reasons, feared you both. You were grateful for that now, you were alone with him again, as the sun began to set and a chilly New York night began to settle.

Still, you didn't move. You still had faith. Or you were just stubborn. There was no way you'd pull away until someone either pried him off of you against your will, or someone that you trusted showed up promising they'd help.

None of them came, and you remained there, cradling his frame to your chest begging whatever God was listening, to bring him back. You didn't know if one of them heard you, or if it was just blind luck or fate, but you only realised his metal arm was lodged under your body when he moved it.

"Buck!" you cried, cupping his cheeks in your bloodied palms as literal life cursed through your veins. "Oh god, you're ok, you're alive!! You came back to me!"

You managed to hug him close one more time, before he pushed himself off of you. In the process of standing up, his eyes met yours for the briefest second. Again, nothing.

He gathered himself to his feet, wordlessly bending down to grab your hair. He forced you up and you instantly obliged, following him back into the building.

Once inside, he knocked you through a glass door, your body once again absorbing his fury. The pain had dissipated into a dull ache, and this time, you stood up faster. "I can do this all day" you sighed, the lie slipping past your lips with such ease, as if the energy inside your core wasn't running dangerously low.

"What did you just say?" he questioned.

He seemed taken aback, "I said that I can do this all day"

"Who are you?" Bucky yelled, marching towards you, determined to get answers out of you through nothing else but brute force. He slammed you back onto the floor, only to straddle your thighs and pick you up by the collar of your shit. "Why won't you just fucking die!?"

Circling your fingers around his wrists, you searched for his eyes, "Wanna know what keeps me alive?"

"Are you stupid enough to tell me?"

"I might be" you shook your head, "but I'll still tell you"

"Why?"

"Because I know you won't kill me" you cried, "I know you know me. I know you're in there somewhere. The man I love. I know you don't have it in you to kill me"

"Try me" he laughed, drunk with the power you were so willing to give him.

"These-" you panted, raising your arms in the air to show him your cuffs, "These are what's been keeping me alive but I know you won't-"

But you never finished the sentence. He didn't even think twice before ripping them off your arms and throwing them onto the floor, along with all the other mess you two had made.

You never thought he'd actually spare you. So it wasn't a surprise when the first thing he did after freeing you, was reach for his knife with the sole purpose of driving it through your chest.

But you were faster. You framed his face into your palms, releasing the energy from your body and allowing it to flow through his. It felt weird, wrong and chaotic, and the power surge wiggled itself out of your control, until a blast between your bodies sent you both flying back across the room, falling down onto the floor.

And this time none of you stood up.

"I leave them alone for what, a day?" Tony sighed, walking out of his Iron Man suit.

"Holy shit!" Steve cried out, his knees betraying him as he tried to rush to you.

"No, wait!" Nat stopped him, "You can't wake them up until we get them somewhere safe. We need to make new cuffs for Y/n, and find a way to keep Bucky contained in case, you know… he's still not Bucky"

Steve was fuming with anger, nostrils flaring, "These are my friends you're talking about!" he exclaimed, pointing to your bodies on the floor, "Your friends too, Nat. You see them like this and the first thing you think about is restraining them!?"

"We need to make sure we're all safe" she sighed with sympathy, grabbing his hand for a comforting rub.

"You make sure you're safe-" Steve scoffed, "I'll make sure they're alive"

"Hey-" Nat stopped him, "If you touch her and startle her in any way, you die!"

Her words hurt him but he knew you never would. Steve felt his heart shutter just imaging what you must have gone through. He was ablaze with pure determination to prove Nat wrong, and to do right by you and Buck. "I carried her in my arms while she was passed out when we rescued her from that facility-" he fummed, pointing at you, "She never knew a man that didn't try to hurt her before. And when she woke up, she was afraid. Scared for her life. She cried in my arms and begged me to not let them take her again! She was never anywhere close to hurting me! She's good. So good. There's only good inside of her, I trust her to not hurt me more than I trust myself, ok? If I'm wrong, so be it. I die. I don't care. She deserves someone to look after her. If I had to chose, saving her would be the way I'd want to go"

His rant left Nat speechless. She just gave him a simple nod and stepped back.

Carefully, he picked you up and carried you upstairs, as Tony put his suit back on and carried Bucky.

Never in your life had you woken up this fast. Your eyes snapped open and you sprung to your feet. 3 pairs of anxious eyes watched you, all of them ready to jump into action in case the situation called for an intervention.

"What-" you gawked, scanning the room, "Where is Bucky? Is he- is-"

"He's fine, Y/n" Steve assured you. He stood up and slowly approached you, arms outstretched. Your first instinct was to go for it, but when you reached him, you placed both your hands in his, and looked up at him with teary eyes.

"Are you sure?" you whimpered, "Can I see him?"

Sympathy took over his features, but Tony jumped in, "Absolutely not"

"What-" you turned to him, "Why? Did I-?"

"You didn't do anything wrong" Steve hummed, engulfing you in a hug even though you remained stiff in your spot. He rubbed your back, eager to soothe your worried mind, but you were too out of it.

“Can I just go?” you whispered, pulling back just enough so that he could see how serious you were, “I need to see him, please”

“Are you mad at him?” Nat asked with caution and your face fell.

“No!” you gasped, stepping away from Steve’s embrace, “No, not even one bit. I know that was not him, I know it’s not his fault. But when Bucky wakes up-”

“If he wakes up-” Tony sneered, roaming around the room. He nursed a glass of whiskey, as a mixture of disgust and exhaustion was readable on his features.

“When he wakes up!” you spoke through gritted teeth. Determination coated your words and the hairs on your body stood as you refused to even think of the alternative. “He will wake up. And I have to be there”

“What if the Winter Soldier wakes up?” Nat asked.

“That didn’t stop me last time”

“Oh, no!” Tony butted in, stepping in between you and Nat, arms outstretched, “You know I’m not one to cry after money, but you and your pal left me with $37 million worth of damage. You two are one broken cup away from getting thrown into the streets”

The sum he mentioned made the skin on your back crawl. You didn’t even have $37 dollars to your name, but it made sense. Your body alone crashed through three TV’s, one gamma ray projector and if you thought about it, you remembered Bucky pulling apart one of the Iron Legion robots, and only the thought made you flinch.

“So-” Tony said, “You two? Never in the same room again!”

“Take these off then” you suggested, pointing at the cuff on your wrists.

“Ha” Tony exclaimed, “A big chunk of that money comes from you frying all my electronics up until the 12th floor. Absolutely not”

“Tony, I’m serious” you whined, “He will hate himself. I need to be there! I need to make sure he doesn’t take all the blame on his shoulders”

He frowned, and sighed. He wasn’t an unreasonable man, and you hoped that core deep inside his chest really made up for a heart. And… it did. None of them were happy about it, but they finally accepted. Nat and Tony would have never probably given up if it wasn’t for Steve - right now, like so many times before, he really did seem like your guardian angel.

They ended up monitoring the room, and Tony waited for your signal, one hand on his cigarette, the other on the Iron Man suit. He was all talk - if anything was to go down and you would actually be in danger again, he wouldn’t even think twice before tearing his towers into pieces if it meant he could get you out alive.

And so you left, thanked them in the form of a simple nod, and headed down the dark hallways.

Oh, how you hated this.

What consumed you now had nothing to do with the pain you had endured in the past 24 hours. Its source was not physical, yet your whole body ached. You felt the weight of the world on your shoulders - and in some way, it was - Bucky was your whole world, and the fear of losing him breathed down your neck.

It had been about 20 minutes since you stopped in front of the door that led to the room he'd been confined in. When FRIDAY announced that Bucky woke up, you rushed over, only for a hazardous sense of anguish to stop you dead in your tracks. Judging by the way he sat in the corner of the room, his fingers aimlessly tracing every indentation in the handcuffs Tony had restrained him with, you had no problem telling which one of him woke up. He broke your heart. His room was equipped with 5 different cameras and 2 microphones. Completely unaware of them, he sat inches away from one, and your heart shattered, sinking 3 stories below when you heard him whimper.

It was soft and quiet. His whole frame shook as he wiped his nose with the back of his sleeve. He was hunched down, brown hair covering his perfect face, but still, his sadness brought you to tears.

You heard him again. He sniffled as he laid back against the wall. His eyes were bloodshot, lips almost white and dry as his chest raced up and down. His muscles clenched and his feet bounced against the metal floor, it was a sight you never wished you see ever again.

Softly, you raised a hand, and thought twice before finally knocking.

"Go away," Bucky called, voice all hoarse and dry as it broke halfway through.

You were able to see him on the small screen next to the door, but he had no idea who came to visit.

Out of instinct, you knocked again before typing in the password and ever so slowly walking inside.

Instantly, he looked up. He was surrounded by an air of darkness and despair, ever so obviously tormented to the peak of his capability.

He stared at you for a few seconds as his eyes watered, and then he gathered his lips into a straight line, shaking his head. "Please, go"

"Bucky, I-"

"Please" he cried, head falling forward as he toyed with the metal edges of his prosthetic arm. He shook his head, "Please, don't do this. Just, go"

You took a deep breath, only then entering the room far enough to actually be able to close the door behind you. Slowly turning back to him, your palms sweated as you had no idea what to say to him.

"Can you talk to me, Buck? Please?"

He chuckled, "About what?"

"About whatever it is you think you did wrong, I-"

As he heard your words, his hands instantly flew up to cover his face. He was, however, stopped, as the cuffs on his left wrist kept him from moving too much. While a new row of tears flooded his cheeks, his eyes met yours, "Look at me.. I need to be restrained while you're alone with me"

"Those cuffs would literally do nothing to stop you from escaping, and you know it"

"Maybe it's just a sense of reassurance"

"To who?" you scoffed.

"To them" Bucky responded, nodding his head towards one of the cameras. "I'm a monster" he added, wiggling his cuff restrained hand, "I'm a danger to everyone"

"Oh for fucks sake" you rolled your eyes, marching up to him. With absolutely no remorse, you grabbed his hand and harshly pulled apart the metal that had him restrained to the bed. Before he got a chance to say anything, you bent down, unclipped the microphone from the foot of the bed, threw it on the floor, and stepped on it, until it was nothing but a small pile of shattered plastic.

And you kept going, destroying the second microphone along with the 5 cameras on the walls as Bucky watched you with surprise. You finished by going for the door and locking it from the inside. "You think I'm afraid of you?" you asked softly, "For 6 hours you did your best to kill me and failed miserably. Look at me, I'm unscathed"

"Did you hear yourself?" he cringed, shaking his head, "I tried to kill you"

"Ok, I know I said that you did your best-" you said, mentally scolding yourself for the error in communication. "We both know that wasn't you. That wasn't you, Buck. It was Hydra. It was the winter soldier, not you. My Bucky would never-"

"Y/n-" he stopped you, "I know you don't see things the way I do-"

"But I see them the right way"

"Listen-" Bucky sighed, driving his hands through his hair. For the first time that night you actually saw his full face, his cheek and signature scowl, his blue eyes and the tilt of the corner of his mouth - your soul melted when you associated the picture with the words that came out of his mouth. "I can't blame you for being here. I can't. If the roles were reversed, I'd be doing the exact same thing. But, holy fuck-" he sighed, pausing to gather his thoughts. Bucky looked you up and down. His lips quivered and his head fell to the side as a sad smile appeared on his lips. "Remember this morning? How we talked about our hypothetical child?" he laughed and shook his head, "Even if I know we could never have a kid because we're both sterile, it was still the most beautiful thought that ever crossed my mind, Y/n''

"Mine too, Buck-"

"And what did I do?" he dismissed your empathy, "Two hours later I was unloading an AK-47 into your stomach, like the brainwashed maniac that I am!"

"Don’t say that!" you exclaimed, "Don't you dare think about things like this!"

"Why wouldn't I?" he threw his hands up in the air, "What does it matter whose fault it is? I get to live with the consequences."

"But-" you breathed out, "We can work through this. You did it before. You can't let something that hydra did dictate your life, Bucky. You deserve so much better. You deserve to be happy!"

"I tried to kill you!" he screamed, for the first time losing his calm and standing up to be at the same level as you.

"That was not you!"

"So what?" he huffed, "I was there, Y/n! I will never, NEVER get the feeling of crushing your bones out of my head! I felt your neck snap! I choked you with my arms! That is not something I can live with! I can't live a life by your side if every time I look at you I'm reminded of those horrible things I did to you!"

"Buck-" you cried, looking at him from behind too many layers of unshed tears, "Please, don't say that"

"I'm sorry" he responded in the same fashion, his pain coating every word he said. "When I close my eyes I see you laying in a puddle of blood. I can't stop hearing your screams of agony. Agony that no matter how you put it, was caused by my hands. That's not something we can live with, Y/n. You were not made for this. You really do fucking deserve someone that won't wake up one day and try to murder you in cold blood"

"And what do you deserve, Buck?" you quietly asked, searching for his eyes, "To live your life alone? Forever? If you had been with anyone else, this would have turned out so much worse. That cute barista three blocks down that always scribbles a heart on your coffee cup? She's cute, yeah. You deserve to be loved by someone, but if that someone was her, you wouldn't be drowning in guilt right now, Bucky, you'd be mourning her. Yes, you got troubles. Yes, you've got a past more fucked up than anyone else I have ever heard about. That's the kind of shit you can't change. But whatever you do from now on, is in your fucking hands and yours alone. Don't try to tell me you're not worthy of having someone, because that's the fattest load of crap I've ever heard. You're a good man! With a fucked up past! And a dark side that you need to fight! And you have me! I don't care you dropped Tony's piano on my legs, apparently I can take it! I'm here for you no matter what! You don't want to be with me anymore? Fine. But don't you dare push me away, thinking that a ruined future makes up for a ruined past"

"Who's to say I won't try it again?" he asked, "I don't know what triggered the transition. But what if once a week I end up trying to kill you-"

"Apparently you can't!" you laughed bitterly.

"Ok, so I can't" he nodded in approval, "Is that what you want? I should be your rock, your best friend, I should always be there for you. Do you want to have your whole world turned upside down whenever my brain decides to go berserk?"

"See, Buck" you sighed, "Of course I don't want that. I can't fucking stand here and tell you that I do. What kind of credibility would I have then? But you know what I want? You. You and whatever nazi shit that comes along. I want you. To help you. To have you with me. To see you everyday. If every Saturday at 10am you decide you want to kill me, you best believe I'm sacrificing my morning coffee just so we can kung fu around the living room"

He looked at you for a long second, the corners of his lips fighting a hard battle against the hint of a smile that started to show on his features. Eventually he caved and chuckled, shaking his head, "That was a bit funny"

"And fucking true," you cried, going for his hands and bringing them up to your chest. He winced, but you spoke up again, determined to not let his mind torture him.

"I love you, Bucky"

"How do you not hate me?" he choked, shaking his head in disbelief. "Can you seriously look at me and not get even the slightest instinct to run away?"

"Bucky..." you breathed out, cupping his cheek. "How could I run away when I've never seen you in more pain than right now?"

"You're an angel, you know that?"

"I've been called a lot of things" you giggled, "Angel isn't one of them, but if that's what you want, I'll take it"

"Come here" he whispered, wrapping his arms around your frame. He had you nuzzle against his chest, his hold keeping you tight and secure. His heart beat against your cheek and your eyes watered again. There wasn't one thing in the world you wouldn't do for that heart - to make sure it keeps beating, and that it keeps the man you love alive. And content, above all. All you wanted right now was for him to accept the things that happened. You wanted to take whatever weight he was carrying on his shoulders, and put it upon yourself. "I love you so much, Bucky" you cried against his chest as your hold tightened around him, "I hate to see you torn like this. I don't want anything to ever happen to you. It terrifies me. I love you with all that I am. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. You deserve the world, baby"

"So do you" he whispered, kissing the top of your head.

You felt his chest shake, a deep rumble echoed from the depths of his lungs. You looked up to see him fight back a sob, his eyes wide open, glossy and red, trained down on you, "I love you too much to do this, Y/n. I'm sorry, I don't think I can"

"No!" you gasped, pressing your face back against his shoulder, "Don't do that. You can't do that. No"

"We won't work, Y/n" Bucky said as he brought you even closer, "I can't look at you anymore. I can't look at you without dying inside. You don't want to live with me like that"

"Yes, I do!" you sobbed. "I'll work with anything you give me, I swear there is nothing more I want. Just you. Just you and me. Bucky, please don't do this"

He held you close for what felt like half a second, but rationally speaking, your legs were getting numb. You just stood there, clinging to his body, taking in his scent and listening to his breathing even out until he pushed you away. Oh, how you didn't want to let go. Ever. But you did, and choked back a sob as soon as you felt the cold air of the room brush against the part of your body that had been pressed to his.

"We should get some sleep, Y/n"

"Are you coming with me?" you whimpered, afraid of the answer he might give you.

Bucky shook his head, "I think I'll just sleep here tonight"

That broke you. The shock and terror cut your breath away. It felt impossible - the feeling of losing him. The amount of pain that surged through you. At that particular moment, you felt like cracking your chest open to grip your heart into your hand and pick apart the broken parts. But not even that felt good enough, you were fairly sure you'd be left with nothing. It felt like a slap across your cheek, like a cloth had been placed over your mouth and your legs cut at the knees. It felt like the end.

Optimistic by nature, not even you could deny the reason he wanted to sleep alone. It was clear as day.

"If-" you mumbled, tears coating your face at their own free will, voice shaking as you barely managed to articulate the words over the violent sobs that ripped their way out of your throat. "If I promise to not do anything to try and convince you to stay… can you promise me that in case you decide to leave, you'll come and tell me first?"

"Oh, doll" Bucky broke down all over again, throwing himself at you again. He collapsed on top of you, molding his body around yours. "I promise, angel"

You just nodded. That was all you could do. It took another few moments for you to gather yourself and stop wailing, but you did, and then, with nothing else other than a sad smile, you left.

Your feet carried you to your room, and you were ready to collapse on top of your bed. Eager to cuddle into his pillows. They smelled like that shower gel you got him and you hated it. You wanted his scent. Not even caring how ridiculous it sounded, you padded over to the chair in the corner of your bedroom, the one Bucky uses to discard all his worn clothes.

You wanted to find a shirt he wore, one that smelled exactly like you knew him, but before you reached the clothes pile, your attention was drawn to the window.

Steve was standing there, facing the busy streets outside, hands in his pocket and his head turned in your direction.

"I didn't see you, sorry" you gasped, as your eyes accommodated to the darkness.

"It's fine" he shook his head, "I just figured you'd turn on the lights, you know, like the normal people. Didn't think I'd scare you"

"Yeah, sorry" you sighed, plopping down on the edge of the bed. "I did even think about turning the lights on"

He didn't say anything, but you saw him nod. He knew your pain. He lost enough in his life, and seeing his best friend sink back into his darkness was surely not easy for him either.

"Is he ok?" Steve eventually asked.

You shook your head, "He's too good of a man to be ok"

"That is Bucky" he laughed, and you couldn't help but do the same. The irony.

Steve's curiosity was palpable in the room. Words could not describe the appreciation you had for him for respecting your boundaries and not pushing you in a moment like this. But he deserved to know.

You opened your mouth to explain to him what happened, but as your mind processed everything all over again, you broke down. "I think he's gonna leave-" you cried.

Steve was quick to gather you in his arms, engulfing you in a bear hug, helping you stand on your own two feet. "What do you mean?" he asked, concern tracing his tone.

"I understand him, I do. And I promised I won't try to get him to stay if he doesn't want to. But- but I should've done more, Steve. I should've shown him somehow how much I love him. But I'm afraid he'll leave, and I don't want to live-"

"Hey, hey, hey" Steve hurried to stop you, petting your head softly before urging you to look up at him. "Bucky loves you more than I ever thought possible, ok? There's no question about it. I'm sorry I'm doing this, but I think he'll postpone it anyway"

"What?"

"The man wants to marry you, ok?" Steve smiled, "He asked Tony if he had any work for him so he could raise money. Can you imagine how that went down? He was red like a tomato, but he didn't think twice. James Barnes used the computer to look for rings for you. The Bucky I know? Never would've done this. You brought to life a part of him that no one else has seen before. He loves you. With all that he is. And trust me when I tell you, he won't stand to be away from you. You're his whole world, Y/n. He's my best friend, trust me when I tell you this is something you'll work through. I'll help, we'll all help. You're not gonna lose him, Y/n. He's so beat up about all of this because he loves you this much. He's all yours. If he decides to leave, I need you to be strong because he will be back. I got him back 70 years later. You just need to trust him. Trust his heart, ok?"

"Oh my god" you cried, "I don't know what to say"

"Don’t say anything" he chuckled, "We've been through so much together. All of us. Even if we try, nothing pulls us apart, ok? How many times has Loki died, hm?"

"God, Steve!" you scoffed somewhat amused and pulled back just to hit him, "Did you seriously compare Bucky to Loki!?"

"It got you to smile, didn't it?" he laughed. "But I'm serious. You've both been through so much worse than this. You'll get through this one too. And in case you ever feel like you won't, I'm here, ok?"

"Ok…"

Funny as it all was, it worked. He calmed you down - to some extent. Gave you hope you didn't know existed. If it wasn't for Steve, you probably would have not been able to fall asleep. And even though dreams didn't visit you, and you never relaxed enough to actually get some rest, you just dozed off. All clothed and curled diagonally on the bed, you cuddled Bucky's pillow to your chest as your eyes slowly fell closed.

When you opened them again, it was still dark out. You had no idea what pulled you awake as you struggled to sit up on the bed, but then you heard Bucky's voice again, from the doorway.

"Y/n?"

“Buck?” you gasped, turning around. Only his silhouette was visible, head hung low and hands deep in his pockets. He was leaning against the doorway, silently awaiting your response.

Right then and there, you felt your world collapse. Steve’s monologue made you actually fucking believe things would be fine, but here he was, keeping his promise. In the buttcrack of night, he kept his word, bidding you a much feared farewell.

“Is-” you sobbed, jumping out of bed and rushing towards him. You almost knocked him off of his feet when you flung yourself at him, but he was quick to reciprocate, caging you between his arms. “Is this it? You’re leaving?”

He didn’t say anything which frankly made everything worse. You broke down even further, clinging to his shirt as if it was the only source of oxygen keeping you alive - it sure felt like it.

“Look at me” Bucky urged you, tilting your chin up, “Please?”

You slowly lifted your head, your eyes meeting his.

“I’m sorry, I will make it up to you” he whispered, a frown settling above his tired eyes, “You’ll see”

“What does that even mean?" you questioned, tired and sick of this ongoing conflict that should not even have been an issue to begin with. "You don't have to make up for anything"

"I know you see things like that" he cooed, rubbing his thumb along your cheekbone. He spoke softly, his breath fanning against your skin, somehow, even in this situation, managing to calm you down. "But you can understand me too, right?"

"I don't want to" you shrugged, "I don't care. Why does it matter if I understand you or not if you're gonna leave anyway?"

"I'm not leaving, doll"

"What!?" you beamed, pulling away from his hold and grabbing his face in your palms, "You're not- but you're-"

His whole frame softened, "I'm not here to say goodbye, Y/n. I'm not going anywhere"

"Oh god" you gasped.

"Come on, come here" Bucky chuckled softly, bringing you back into his hold, "I'm staying here. I'm sorry for everything I put you through. You're the most badass woman I know and I managed to break you"

"I love you, Buck"

"I love you more, Y/n" he sighed, "I'll make everything right, I promise"

"Oh, fuck" you breathed out relieved, "Just do whatever you want, I don't care. You're here. That's all that matters."

"And we also need to teach you to fight-" he added, "For real. And find a way for you to take those goddamn shackles off in case this happens again"

"Tony won't be too happy about it" you laughed.

"Fuck if I care-" Bucky said strenly, pointing at you, "Next time, you need to be able to stop me. And fast"

"Maybe it won't happen again"

"Maybe not" Bucky nodded, "But if it does, we need to be ready"

"Thank you" you said, "I know I didn't play this right. I know I literally dismissed everything that you must have gone through today. I'm sorry"

"You don't get to be sorry" Bucky stopped you, "Not after-"

"Then you don't get to, either!"

"Meh" he shrugged, "We'll see"

"Bucky!"

"I love you" he laughed, bending down to pick you up. He planted his hands on the back of your thighs, picking you up with ease and walking you over to the bed. You plopped back against the fluffy mattress with a huff, and giggled as he crawled his way on top of you. Instantly, his lips met yours. It was exhilarating, the kind that made your chest ache. You moaned against his lips as love transpired through his touch. It was overwhelming and the first happy tears of the day streamed down your temples as you arched yourself against him.

"I'm so weak for you, fuck" Bucky groaned, his right arm reaching around your back and pressing you against his chest. "You're everything" he added as he kissed his way along your neck, "I'm all yours forever, Y/n. I love you too much"

"I'm here, baby" you moaned, hiding your face into his shoulder, "You're mine, Bucky. All mine."

His lips didn't leave your body as he pushed himself up just enough to be able to reach the buckle of his jeans. The sound made your core ache, and your mouth watered.

There was no patience in his movements. He barely pulled his jeans down to his knees before ridding you of your pajama pants. He lodged himself between your thighs, his mouth instantly back on yours again.

"Come on" you panted, steading your arms against his strong back. Your legs found their way around his frame, ready to pull him closer.

When Bucky guided his hands between your bodies to align the tip of his cock with your opening, you whimpered in anticipation. Agonisingly slow, he trailed his tip along your folds before reaching your clit. With a blissful moan, he reached further up, tapping his cock against your bare cunt a couple of times before returning his attention back to you.

"I got you, baby" he hummed, pecking your lips. "You ready? Is this ok?"

With eagerness, you nodded and wiggled under his weight, your pussy aching for him. "Yes, yes"

When you felt his cock push past your folds, you moaned out loud, your voice cracking with the pure pleasure that took over your being.

He eased himself in, going all the way until he all but knocked the breath out of you, and he stopped. Bucky reached down to kiss you again, his cock motionless, balls deep inside of you.

He bit down on your lip and you giggled.

"Felt your pussy clench around me, doll" he laughed, "You're good to me"

"You may be all mine, Buck, but I'm all yours too"

"Holy shit" he panted, shaking his head in disbelief. It was as if you weren't real. He'd have pinched himself, but if this was a dream, he really did not want to wake up. So he kept going.

Nibbling at the skin of your neck, he started to pull himself out of you. The slow pace was driving you insane. Your need grew so strong you felt everything. His breath, the way his hair tickled your chin, his strong around around your shoulders, his massive thighs rubbing against yours, every small vein along his cock that drove you closer and closer to the sweetest bliss you had ever known.

He got you all worked up at an agonisingly slow pace, before his thrusts became more and more aggravated. You moaned with each thrust despite your struggles to keep quiet.

"You know how much I love hearing you, doll" Bucky shook his head as he drove himself back inside of you all the way, "Moan for me"

"Fuck, ok" you gasped, and closed your eyes as you started to fall apart. You gripped the bed sheets into your hands and pulled as he kept fucking you, deep and hard.

"You're so good, baby" he groaned, "So, so good for me"

He sunk his teeth into your shoulder, fervently sucking deep, maroon marks all ice your skin. Gutural grounds betrayed his air of self control as a plethora of curse words escaped his lips. "Taking me so fucking well. I can't keep going like this, you're too fucking tight-"

"Cum, baby" you encouraged, voice low and tender as you spoke against his ear, "Cum for me"

"Don’t have to tell me twice" he chuckled.

His thrusts started to become sloppy and irregular, as his eyes flew closed. You missed the blue of his eyes, but his mouth was slightly agape as he panted his way to an orgasm.

His chest heaved against yours, "How do you feel so fucking good?" Bucky cursed, eyes still closed as he barely managed to mumble his words between the numerous grunts of pleasure that forced their way out of his throat.

You gave him no answer, instead just clung to him tighter, "Fuck, Bucky, I'm close-"

"Come on" he encouraged, hurrying to rub your clit. His fingers found your bud in an instant, working experienced, familiar circles that almost drove you over the edge. "Cum with me, ok?"

You nodded, gathering your lips between your teeth. He kept fucking you, harder and faster until he had turn limp under his weight. You came as his name rolled off your lips, and he followed seconds after, pumping his juices deep inside your pussy.

You felt his absolute pleasure as he breathed heavily against your shoulder. He kept going until you were both spent, and then fell down beside you.

"Bucky-" you whined, turning over and curling into his side, the lack of contact making you more needy than ever.

"Yes, darling?" he panted, tapping your chin.

"Nothing. I just love you"

"Love you too, doll" he huffed, spinning you around so you laid on your back.

He effortlessly helped you out of your shirt and plopped down on top of you, his head resting on your bare chest. His warm, right hand cupped your breast as he closed his eyes. He wrapped himself around you, "Hold me" he muttered, "please"

"Always, Bucky" you said, engulfing him in the tightest hold you could muster. Only then did you feel him calm down completely, and there was nothing in the world you could ever ask for.

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