#i do a lot of direct support
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Sometimes I want to ask people what sorts of tangible things they've done for disabled people beyond making self serving blog posts. Like, beyond YOU personally, what have you done for disabled people? What justifies you as an authority who can tell the rest of us to shut up?
#tay dont look#disabled drama#i do a lot of direct support#and when I'm physically capable of it i feed a LOT of people#as well as education in the general public and volunteering for stuff at the VA#in case you want MY credentials#keep in mind i cant even breathe independently so like... thats a lot#and i dont even want to be an authority#i just want my opinion respected
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I don't really know where this lands on the scale of basic to hot take, but I don't see the locked tomb as a very overtly political series. Like yeah, it has a lot of subtext you can interpret politically, obviously, if that's your jam. but to me, the series has always been an intimate exploration of existing as a badly uncomfortable and isolated person. there are a lot of different reasons people in the series are fucked up, but the important thing to me is that they are. and that they're being witnessed. To me it's a love letter to all the deeply fucked up people out there (esp the deeply fucked up lesbians) saying "you exist, and someone sees you"
Edit: Since apparently people are linking to this post to interpret and argue with it indirectly, let me clarify. I don't mean the story is apolitical. I mean that as I see the story unfolding, the central narrative is focused on the characters, and the heart of the narrative is human connection and character exploration. Of course there are political themes being explored—I've posted a lot about them myself—but that exploration is about asking a lot of questions I don't expect the series to necessarily answer.
Tamsyn Muir doesn't have the answer to colonialism. She does have the answer as to what will happen to two mentally unwell painfully lonely girls I suspect we've all grown quite attached to.
#like it's fun getting lost in the weeds sometimes#but I feel like we also gotta stay silly with it#the ground is soft and brother are we digging but the text itself is not that deep#the locked tomb#edit tags: if you want to talk anti colonialism in aotearoa i can direct you to my post about māori independence#if you live in aotearoa it contains a link you can follow to sign a petition supporting te pāti māori's declaration of independence#if you don't live in aotearoa it's still worth learning about#and the reblogs have a lot more information from people who know a lot more than I do
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So long as the political and economic system remains intact, voter enfranchisement, though perhaps resisted by overt white supremacists, is still welcomed so long as nothing about the overall political arrangement fundamentally changes. The facade of political equality can occur under violent occupation, but liberation cannot be found in the occupier’s ballot box. In the context of settler colonialism voting is the “civic duty” of maintaining our own oppression. It is intrinsically bound to a strategy of extinguishing our cultural identities and autonomy.
[...]
Since we cannot expect those selected to rule in this system to make decisions that benefit our lands and peoples, we have to do it ourselves. Direct action, or the unmediated expression of individual or collective desire, has always been the most effective means by which we change the conditions of our communities. What do we get out of voting that we cannot directly provide for ourselves and our people? What ways can we organize and make decisions that are in harmony with our diverse lifeways? What ways can the immense amount of material resources and energy focused on persuading people to vote be redirected into services and support that we actually need? What ways can we direct our energy, individually and collectively, into efforts that have immediate impact in our lives and the lives of those around us? This is not only a moral but a practical position and so we embrace our contradictions. We’re not rallying for a perfect prescription for “decolonization” or a multitude of Indigenous Nationalisms, but for a great undoing of the settler colonial project that comprises the United States of America so that we may restore healthy and just relations with Mother Earth and all her beings. Our tendency is towards autonomous anti-colonial struggles that intervene and attack the critical infrastructure that the U.S. and its institutions rest on. Interestingly enough, these are the areas of our homelands under greatest threat by resource colonialism. This is where the system is most prone to rupture, it’s the fragility of colonial power. Our enemies are only as powerful as the infrastructure that sustains them. The brutal result of forced assimilation is that we know our enemies better than they know themselves. What strategies and actions can we devise to make it impossible for this system to govern on stolen land? We aren’t advocating for a state-based solution, redwashed European politic, or some other colonial fantasy of “utopia.” In our rejection of the abstraction of settler colonialism, we don’t aim to seize colonial state power but to abolish it. We seek nothing but total liberation.
Voting Is Not Harm Reduction - An Indigenous Perspective
#indigenous action#2024 elections#voting#on one hand i think if one opponent is a mask off fascist white people have an obligation to vote against them As The Least We Can Do#but if that's all we're doing? that and bullying other people who see a futility in participating in a colonial institution of 'democracy'?#sorry but um. shut the fuck up#if we spent half as much energy on direct action to support each other in ways that help people REGARDLESS of who wins what election#as we did on yelling at Other Leftists about voting i think we would get a hell of a lot more actual shit done#and sure as hell help more actual real life people who we claim to be helping by yelling at other people to vote#i'm talking to me here like#our current blue harm reduction candidate actively supporting a genocide should make you feel like maybe this shit doesn't fucking work#because it doesn't <3#harm reduction as the least we can do needs to be a call to action via vote AND actual action or it's not a call to anything at all#the least we can do needs to be motivating AND convicting#it's the least we can do so fucking do it. it's the least we can do so if that's All you do sit the hell down or stand the fuck up#for people who the status quo serves it needs to be the ballot AND the bullet or our ballot means fuck all for real liberation
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Basically I think that if you're going to insist on the importance of direct and honest communication, you have to not punish the behavior you want to see. You can't go around saying "Don't expect your family/friends/partner/etc to be a mind reader! If you have an issue, you need to communicate it!" while also repeatedly dismissing/belittling/ignoring people who do that, and then act as if someone is dishonest/manipulative/cowardly/bad at expressing themselves when they stop directly telling you what they're thinking or feeling. You're the asshole here, bro.
#i have met people who are very good direct communicators!#i have also met a lot of people who think they're very good direct communicators but are mostly just dickheads.#likewise a lot of people who say ''if you need help just ask!'' but give repeated intensely negative reinforcement for doing so#i'm not the bad communicator here i'm responding very rationally to a repeated pattern of being punished for requesting support#language#my posts
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I am a strong supporter of the "kaiser fixates on his mother as an actress/on other troubled female celebrities" concept on the basis of him having mommy issues as well of him being flamboyantly queer and drawn to femininity
#bolo liveblogs#blue lock#bllk#michael kaiser#I really liked @glue-thief's post about kaiser and female celebrities lol#I'm not even gonna argue about the queerness bit here you either see it or you don't#but I've got a veryyy specific headcanon about kaiser having over a decade to project all sorts of things#on his mother as she's portrayed by the movies she's in (which are mostly directed by her abusive husband/his abusive father#so they can't escape him/he mediates their relationship even when he's not physically present)#and what that might do to his brain.#at the most basic level kaiser's canonical self-image as the impossible blue rose speaks to an ability to assign a *lot* of meaning#to relatively small things as well as his own personal mythology#which I don't think the way he relates to his mother who automatically gets to be his favorite parent#on account of *not being there* to abuse or disappoint him is exempt from!#on another note I am a femmemasc kaiser truther and I believe that#the relationship between a flamboyant queer and their emotional support tragic woman they've never met is sacred
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one small detail that stood out to me about this latest episode that i haven’t seen anyone else talking about yet is that when the commentators are calling colin “inspiring” and the “man of the match,” they are celebrating him not for actually scoring the goals himself, but for providing the crucial assists to make both of them happen. and i really love that because for me it’s the absolute perfect wrap to his character arc across all three seasons!
like, we know that colin’s job on this team has never been to score goals. in fact i’m pretty sure we’ve never heard about a single goal that he has scored. colin is and always has been a team player, not a star—and we’ve seen that crop up over and over. notably, we’ve seen the fact that he’s not entirely at peace with that crop up over and over: see the way he was affected by nate’s entire holidy-inn-painting monologue, being benched to make room for zava, etc.—like, this is the thing he’s sensitive about! this is where all of his insecurities come from!
but at the SAME TIME it’s also tied very intimately with all his struggles re: hiding his sexuality— “colin’s a chameleon,” etc. it’s fascinating because there’s SO much tension there between colin 1. feeling bad about the fact that he never stands out on the pitch the way some of his teammates do, because of who he is on the team, and 2. feeling like he CAN’T stand out, ever, because of Who He Is As A Person. etc. it’s like. he’s filling this role in the background. he’s afraid he’s not doing it well enough. he’s afraid that what and who he is isn’t good enough and isn’t worthy of recognition. he wishes he were someone different. trying to be someone different in the locker room is clearly making him so unhappy and stressed out. it is All Connected and my thoughts have been doing laps around it at an ever-increasing rate since i watched episode 2.07 ‘headspace’ if not before!
and all of this is why it’s so incredible to me that in the end, colin’s big moment comes from making assists and not goals! because on the one hand i understand the fandom desire for the colin post-coming out glowup that we all knew was coming—to see him, like, ~prove everybody wrong about him~ and inspire people by suddenly becoming a standout player and scoring goals left and right, even though that never used to be his role on the team before. and don’t get me wrong, i was 100% on board that train, and would have loved it for him if that was how it went down in the end, also. i think he should get to score here and there! as a treat! especially now that richmond are playing total football and there’s been so much emphasis placed on how it’s not just jamie/dani/occasionally sam who are making all the goals anymore!
but i don’t know! especially after the events of the last few episodes, there’s something very special to me about getting to see a colin who, rather than becoming someone entirely new in the moments right after coming out, just feels free to become, and be at peace with, the best version of the same self he’s always been. he’s still a team player first and foremost, but now that he’s not as weighed down by the need to chameleon/hide/pretend to be someone he’s not, he’s so much better at it. and everyone sees this! he gets to be celebrated for his contributions within the role he’s always played! he (and everybody else!) finally recognizes the value that he adds to the team just by being himself—fully himself! it resolves all the tension and insecurity that we’ve seen him struggling with this whole time, on every level. and so this moment was genuinely the perfect ending for his journey in my opinion—i’m so so happy that we were tall enough to join him on the ride here, and so excited to see what he does going forward these last few episodes now that some of that pressure is off him <3
#it's like. he doesn't want to be a spokesperson! he shouldn't have to End Homophobia by becoming zava 2.0! in fact it would not be possible#for him to do this even if he DID come out publicly and then became the best goal-scorer the league has ever seen because the people who are#the problem will ALWAYS manage to find something to attack him for no matter what he does#what's important to me and i think to him as well is that he has the confidence in himself that he needs to perform at his own personal best#and that his teammates recognize this and support him the same way he has always supported them both on and off the pitch#and while a part of me would have liked to see a public coming-out arc i completely get why they're not going there. it would be a lot to#tackle and this season is already getting justified criticism for spreading itself too thin#i think it would have been POSSIBLE to do and do well but. it would place a LOT of constraints on the entire rest of the plot#and i do recognize somewhere in the back of my brain that colin is not ACTUALLY the protagonist of this show for most people#so them choosing to take the character in the ‘i don’t want to be a spokesperson’ direction instead makes sense and was handled very well#anyway. one other reason i’m pleased about all of this is that while most of my recent tl fic is no longer canon-compliant as of this week.#i sure did NAIL the happy ending being an assist and not a scored goal. have been thinking these thoughts for WEEKS and i feel so vindicated#ted lasso#ted lasso spoilers#colin hughes
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Since writing the affirmations and starting manifestation again, I've actually been in a much better headspace. It's crazy how things align, and you end up where you need to be, especially through pain
#txt#have been reading the affirmations every day twice a day sometimes#doing my intentions and manifesting what i wsnt#which is mainly independence#also a good relationship with my ex from here#mainly stuff for me tho#and the full moon on Wednesday which is in scorpio which is his sun sign#will be a big release and maybe i can let go a bit or a lot lol#i need to move on and focus on myself and what i want in life and doing it all on my own#with support obviously but ive never been fully independent and im so ready for the blessings and the open doors#i dont know if ill truly ever be over him but i have to try for my own sanity at this point#i dont want to manifest anything selfish like him coming back to me because it probably wont happen anyway lmao#i hope i dont sound crazy lmao but coming back into my spiritual journey is definitely what i need#connecting with myself and my purpose feels like the only thing i can do rn#have a driving lesson tomorrow but in all honesty i could just go do the test and pass cause ive been driving forever and im good at it#just need to practice certain things but im nearly there! so close i can feel it and see it#anyway i hope i can keep this energy up and continue to head in a positive direction because it feels really good#if i need to cry about him and the loss then i will but im not going to dwell on it too much#i just need to take it as a lesson and let it go :)#cause at the end of the day i really did lead myself here whether it was his choice to end it or not#blah
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Zero Day (2002)
#movies film cinema#zero day#ben coccio#I actually talked to the director on Facebook super nice guy and he told#me a lot about the filmmaking process and even helped me with tips on directing non-actors and new actors#I remember him telling me to always be supportive and tell your new actors they're doing a good job even if they aren't in the first take#cause you can instill confidence and still reshape and change their choices and mistakes later#Sometimes I'd message him for advice when I was running into problems on some of my early projects#he told me once ''did ya choose to collaborate with this actor cause you were lonely or you guys had passion and chemistry''#“collaborating is like a relationship” and he was so right#there's nothing worse than working with people you disdain cause there's no communication and no trust.#he told me how he wrote the first couple of drafts of Place Beyond the Pines but his take on the 3rd act wasn't clicking for the director#so he took the script and went and had another writer rewrite the 3rd act but he liked the process cause he learned a lot and still got pai#but I'd still like to see Ben Coccio's take on Place Beyond The Pines he says the 1st and 2nd act are mostly unchanged#Ryan Gosling's scenes are still mostly the same he said but he couldn't tell me too much cause of the NDA he signed#The bloopers of Zero Day are hilarious his tip he gave me about being supportive#“This is actually great but can we-” and Cal interrupts him “He says that no matter what if you're doing good or bad!” and everyone lols#I hope I can make it and ask him to collab with me on a script#He's such a nice dude compared to the harrowing film he made.#I wish there was BTS but he had only one tape to film on and this was made when digital camcorders were infants#I think he had only one 2 hour tape that's how low budget#The bloopers is just Cal or Andre secretly filming and Ben getting annoyed “Is it recording?” and Cal going “Nah..."#Cal is such a funny guy IRL I wanna see him act more cause he's so good. He was so great at playing a sadistic psychopath in this.#the final shooting is so harrowing and disturbing#I told Ben he srsly gut punched me/disturbed me and this is what made him really open up.
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Changes to this blog
Just a quicks heads up, I didn't think I'd ever do this but I've come to the decision that I no longer wish to continue posting scans online as I have done in the past.
I have been sharing edited scans from my personal media collection online for free for over two decades now, with Tumblr being my home base since 2012-ish.
I didn't think anything could make me give up, but in recent months the combination of my ill health and the sheer amount of reposting-for-revenue people have perpetuated on other sites via "otaku art" accounts and the like has made something I used to love doing for free feel quite miserable, honestly.
I will continue posting about the things I like here, making gifs and answering questions if asked. I might even get around to working on some of my other projects, but for the moment I'm going to stop posting edited scans.
Thank you for supporting what I've been doing here. I just don't have it in my anymore for the scans to continue, sorry.
#personal#feel free to unfollow if you were just here for scans#that's ok i totally understand#i'll keep the archive around because there's not much removing it will do#but i'll keep this blog tumblr-only for a bit until i feel comfortable#thank you for your support#i'll still be around#this disillusionment might be what i needed to kick me in another direction#that and the heart issues i've been having this past week which have made me go “what am i doing?” a lot#i'll think a bit more about what i want to do and in the meantime i hope you enjoy 90s gifs!
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btw its interesting the way james tries to imply that like. well the videos that have plagiarism are the ones our dumb stupid annoying patrons requested about bad topics that didnt deserve to have the effort put in to covering them well so basically its fine. like obv thats interesting on its own but moreso the fact that he doesnt actually /say/ it, or like. give a list of the videos hes referring to, just says "those videos are very clear on which ones they were" i think as a nod meaning like "yknow the ones everyones talking about". unless what hes meaning is that like they put a note in certain videos saying "this video was requested by a patron, we here at james somertom incorporated do not espouse these views" which seems unlikely to me. idk methinks maybe it's because there is indeed a lot more than people think and with all the buzz he's not sure which ones have been discovered yet or not, so putting down a solid list that missed some would look like he was still hiding things whereas putting down a fully sourced list would be admitting to wayyyy more than anyone's found yet
#which is ironic too bc if he genuinely did want to prove he understood what he did wrong and that hed changed thatd be the way to do it#yknow like a full list of every single source including ones no one has found on their own or /can/ find anymore would a) be taking full#responsibility and b) make people less likely to always be like 'youre still hiding something'#which in turn makes me super think hes still hiding a lot of somethings#also cant go without stating that the 'request a video topic' thing was only for $100/month patrons after 3 months on that tier#like fucker these people gave you THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS AT LEAST and youre trying to blame it on them??????#no one forced you to make 'let patrons pick video topics' a reward dude like. hello????????#shit dude even hbombs highest tier ($10 for anyone wondering bc he doesnt see his audience as a money machine lmao)#just says you can vote in polls about future topics#like that makes complete sense to me as a version of this‚ the most dedicated audience members get a say in the future of the#channel while the creator still gets overall control of the direction#also 'patrons who gave me fuckloads of money asked me to make videos on topics i didnt like so i plagiarized those' is i think uhhh#worse than just 'i plagiarize everything without remorse' frankly?#like at least with the second youre just a general shitbag but the first where youre a shitbag specifically to the people#majorly financially supporting you rather than just like. be an adult and say 'hm i dont feel like that topic really works for the channel‚#do you have any other ideas?'#or dare i say even perhaps yknow. doing what other youtubers do in similar situations and find ways to tie that subject#to what they usually talk about is just. wild#course that last one would take actual creativity and aint that just the crux of the issue#james somerton#or i say cannot go without stating i should say cannot go without restating kwnrkabdkwbrn
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was going to start writing an essay about the possible overlap between christianity and OCD and then I remembered im on Tumblr dot com and also a fucking idiot when it comes to putting things into words
#idk man I just think about it sometimes#because I feel like one of the biggest steps in the direction of ocd treatment/management/recovery is to acknowledge that it exists#and recognize your obsessions and compulsions are becoming detrimental#and it becomes so much more difficult to do that when the obsessions are around gods perception of you/your own moral standing#because it just feels like a normal religious thing to be thinking about and worried about#and compulsions like repeated prayer just feel like something you're supposed to do#so even the thought that they could be bad feels blasphemous and it becomes a vicious cycle of ocd and IDK!!! IDK!!!!!#I still feel very weird talking about it with other people but its something I think about a lot because the worst part of it is that#no matter how bad it is breaking the cycle is maybe the most terrifying part of it and on top of that if religion is a big part of your lif#then it can be harder to find support for it as well because everyone around you doesn't see it as a problem either#idk im just rambling a little bit. anyways. hi guys religious ocd is a major bitch I kinda want to write something about it
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Girls, I don't even know what to say.. I hope everyone on here is okay and know that all their feelings are valid❤️
#i am shocked but also nog really shocked#like he was doing so bad for so many years#i dont know why he never got the help he needed#what a tragedy#another child star ruined to death#i hope Maya has a lot of support#and i get tears thinking about his little boy#i mourn the Liam during one direction and i still resent the recent Liam for his actions
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Alh*itham & K*veh relationship analysis (spoilers below)
I said before that Alh*itham holds a level of "resentment" for K*veh, but what I really meant was "contempt." It's the contempt you feel when you're pushed past the point of sympathy and pity. You see someone you care about that's in a bad state, but the thing is that they're ALWAYS in a bad state due to nobody's fault but their own. They go from pitying to pathetic and pitiful.
This line isn't because Alh*itham literally refuses to do good deeds. It's because giving into K*veh's nagging would only serve to enable his guilty conscience. K*veh's guilt is what pushes him to clean and do things. One would think that helping K*veh would help ease his guilt and ease his stress, but all that does is put a bandaid on a gaping wound. What K*veh needs to learn is simply to stop. Learn he doesn't need to clean. He doesn't need to do the errands. He doesn't need to be "good." He doesn't need to give. He doesn't need to DO. He can just BE and that's okay.
But K*veh doesn't learn. He doesn't catch the hint. He doesn't change. Then the thought comes, "Why should I care about someone that doesn't want to get better?" And the next thought, "But unfortunately I DO care, so this whole situation irritates me even more." Alh*itham can ignore K*veh for the most part, but the times he gets too much, Alh*itham's irritation and contempt begins to seep in and he gets more biting.
It confuses me why people pair these two together because they are not what the other person needs. K*veh needs care. He needs love. He needs reassurance. Alh*itham needs independence. He needs low maintenance. He needs stability. As of right now, they only make the other worse.
#analysis#kaveh#alhaitham#spoilers#i don't want to post this on my writing blog haha#feel free to reblog though#as for that last sentence tho some people just like dysfunctional relationship#so like that last paragraph isn't directed at you guys haha#it's at people that genuinely think they can be good for each other lol#as someone that has been and is now to a lesser degree in alhaitham's shoes i'd literally die than get paired up with someone like kaveh#the kavehs in my life are actually of the closest people to me#i love them very much#and yet their helplessness and addiction to self sabotage annoys the hell out of me#people are like 'why don't you help them and support them more???? aren't they your friend??'#and it's like...#why should I willingly drown trying to bucket out water from a sinking ship?#people like that take a heavy toll on your mental and emotional reserves#why would I do that to myself for someone who REFUSES to improve themselves and get better?#i'm not that altruistic#i know it sounds like i'm dissing kaveh a lot here but ppl like him are my favorite kinds of people#he (like the people in my life) are not the summation of their faults#however you can get your bottom dollar that that doesn't mean I'll pretend they won't exist HAHAHA#using caps for things bc i can't italicize on mobile browser
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Sally Jackson vs Bruce Wayne.
Not Batman. Bruce Wayne.
#Do I feel like sometimes the fandom takes Sally a little TOO far in the direction of 'perfect mom'? yes#does Sally being reduced to 'sweet and bakes cookies' in a lot of places annoy me to no end? yes#BUT#I absolutely need to see Sally Jackson as an example of 'loving parent who genuinely does the best she can while demonstrating#her deep love and compassion for her child and doing her best to emotionally support him'#the woman who provided the safety net to literal half human hero of a child while making him feel secure in his relationship with her#and who also wasn't afraid to murder her abusive husband for her son's sake and her own#meet Bruce Wayne. whose parenting track record is ...#interesting#even if you discount the most extreme authors on either end of the spectrum
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WHAT DO YOUE MEAN YOURE ALSO HYPERFIXATED ON BOTH ANNIE AND PIZZA TOWER SMILES REALLY BIG AT YOU
i literally ran an annie askblog for two straight years 😭
it's been awhile by now but to this Day whenever i reblog one of those 'what character do you associate with me' posts i still get like 3 people saying annie each time. never beating the allegations!!!!!! but i dont mind because i was funny as fuck on that blog and it was, up until pizza tower came along, by far some of my best stuff and the most 'involved' i'd ever gotten in 'fandom'. basically everything i'm using now in pizza comics i learned and honed for annieblog, haha.
my Stuff from that era is still very much around and evident too lol
#rip to the sword handle i broke it at a con a few years ago and never bothered fixing it 😔✊#also this was all before she got added to the game and u better BELIEVE i hopped on the shirt day 1. good lird#i have a few gripes with some of the new era sg lore and story direction but if nothing else. they did do well by annie#anyway. 'the grumpy old guy and their silly/weird/largely nonverbal support beast companion' u say. guess where that came from#i won't pretend for a second there's not a lot of annie & sagan in how i do peppino and fake pep. it's just a dynamic i like a lot#sadly peppino does Not have a beowulf-type parallel to round it out. maybe if gus was like 5x as loud. its fine i have noisette instead#but yeah if u were in the skullgirlls tag at All from like 2017-2019 u saw me#less from actual popularity/quality and more just because i posted a fucking lot shjvjhvfjfgg i was a Menace#some of them were good though. im gonna reblog some now actually hang on
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Hate the number of people I know who just want to leave the US because of xyz political issues that don't exist in the imaginary other country they hope to move to. Not One of these people ever puts in the leg work to make the world around them better (at least one isn't even registered to vote) and it is literally the height of privilege to think you can just go live somewhere else where someone else has made everything work without doing anything to participate in your community first.
#you Have to watch your local politics you Have to go to local events you Have to talk to people about political issues in your state#so many of these issues can be discussed without putting yourself in any danger because they're literally just about funding and buses!#and if you unite a community behind something like a public park#them every person in that community gets to know one another#local politics creates voting blocks that pay dividends!#you want to save the environment? so does everyone else!!!!!#you want more public places? so does everyone else!!!#“they keep removing third spaces 😡😡😡”#then maybe try to create some??#testify in support of parks#join your neighborhood group#attend events at the library#you have to go out and do things and meet people and you can't just complain all the time about everything wrong while planning to just leav#i hate idealists even though I Am one because they never move past the idea#when it's so so easy you can just small talk with people about how you think it would be good to change police standards#or (something I do a lot) strike up a conversation about how the death penalty is in direct opposition to Christian ideals and values#identify shared issues with people and use that as a jumping point not everything has to be an intense debate you can just learn to listen#because believe it or not people are 1000% more likely to listen to you when you listen to them#these things cut both ways
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