#i discovered this one year at christmas
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yourplaceinaugust · 1 year ago
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dude raw carrots with salt on them are so good
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aro-arttorneys · 1 year ago
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Happy "it wasn't christmas yet!" to those who celebrate 🥳
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yenpondering · 2 years ago
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Since December last year I've been learning how to bake 🤡✌️
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mokeonn · 1 year ago
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I think the frustrating thing about Spotify recommendations is sometimes it really does introduce me to lots of cool Indie Bands that I really vibe with and allow me to try some new stuff and sometimes it keeps telling me that I need to Listen to Mother Mother (I have not listened to Mother Mother ever and at this point I never will because it is a pride thing.)
Or a random unfunny tiktok joke song from 3 years ago/ a viral YouTube song from over a decade ago.
#simon says#will probably delete this later#but yeah my recommendations are all mother mother and my spotify weekly is a mix between sweet ass new bands and unfunny bad joke songs#my spotify weekly has Cherry Bomb by the Runaways which is a good recommendation and then the Creative Song from don't hug me im scared#which is a bad recommendation to be clear#i know I have a couple of odd songs from things like shows or cartoon bumpers in my playlist (i got whats new scooby doo on there)#but that doesn't mean that I need to be recommended fuckin Death By Glamour??#like there's no videogame soundtracks in my playlist why the fuck is that there#If I wanna listen to Undertale music I would just listen to the vinyls I own!!#anyways this is just a vent against spotify#my weekly seems to have a LOT more indie stuff so imma check it out real fast#i want to discover more music because I do eventually want to just swap to mp3s and an mp3 player instead of spotify#that is one thing I like about Spotify the most is that it helps me find more bands that I like#but I could probably find stuff via looking up youtube playlists as well#so it's not worth paying for anymore#I asked for an mp3 player for Christmas so hopefully I get one and I can just start using that instead#i miss my mp3 these last 7 years without it have sucked I miss my designated music device#anyways dont have to worry about going ad free if you just have the digital files on your computer and put them directly in a player#😎👍
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mqonlighting · 11 months ago
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real talk in the tags for a second because i have a crush on a girl and i. a hehe. ahehehe.
will be burying this in reblogs and never touching on it again
#so random disclaimer this girl is like a year older than me and in high school it’s like a nono for older and younger batch to like be#a thing so i know i generally have no chance but i like to live in my own insanity and the progression of my crush on her has been absolute#ly cuckoo bananas. so like it started out as ‘i wanna be your friend’ and progressed into ‘shit they’re really pretty’ to ‘wow ur so??’ to#‘fuck i like them’ and then it died down and then by all golly it came back but more of a hallway crush now which is bearable bc i’m#not really a part of their life?? like we know each other but we don’t wave and shit and we don’t like ever interact that much so i was lik#ok this is fine bc they literally never think of me so i’m just admiring from afar. and the FIRST inciting incident was i request them onig#and i expect to not get accepted because according to their friends they onyl accept close friends and i’m like k this is a bad idea probs#but the worst that could happen is i get left in their follow requests right?? RIGHT?? but then within like two hours of reqing. lord.#i got. ACCEPTED. and they requested back. and suddenly it’s +1 tangibility like ok?? maybe we’re not as strangers as i thought we were#i later discovered i was not that special for this but also?? cool?? anyways for a while it kind of laid dead and we never spoke at all eve#tho i was in their acc now (at this time they barely posted but whenever they did it was so?? funny like they would slap the randomest shit#on that acc) and it was still a hallway crush altho my friends r awful (/pos) people who would always make me pass their hallway and i#would run into them so often but at this point we only ever like exchanged glances and they would walk right past me like i wasnt even ther#but THEN the second incident happened which was basically we had to play instruments for this christmas event thing and bc they’re literall#y amazing they played for it and i was roped into it and. i was so gay the whole time. bc who wears a leather jacket to school and gets the#prettiest haircut ever right on the last day before a long break?? and the worst part is whenevr something confusing happened they would#turn to me and this one other person and we’d b laughing together. like we r friends. and they’re so fucking nice they were checking up on#us the whole time i was literally dying i kept dropping my pick and stealing looks AURURUGH and they’re so gen funny and interesting i just#and the first few days of holiday break i just couldn’t stop thinking abt them it was so bad? like that was the moment where i was genuinel#like is this more than a hallway crush… eventually it died back down until the next event we had to play together where they were being SO#SO much more comf w me? like exchanging knowing looks when smt funny happens and that stuff.. at this point i didnt even know what to like#think of my crush on them so i just let it be yk. atp they’re not even waving at me in the hallways at all still so maybe they’re just bein#nice! BUT NO. THAT IS UNTIL I AUDITIONED FOR A BAND (theyr in charge of accepting) AND THEY ACCEPTED ME WHICH COOL BUT LIKE A DAY LATER I#HEARD FROM OUR MUTUAL FRIEND THAT THEY SAID ‘yeaa im so happy i got (my name)’ AS IN IN THE BAND. LIKE. HELLO?? HI U THIUGHT ABT ME?? and#during the first band mtg where everyone’s all awk they kept making eye contact w me and asking if i was good and making sure i got to say#smt before anyone made a decision and it. murdered. me. i’m sorry maybe it’s the fanfic writer in me or this shit is literally nothing and#think they’re just nice to everyone but who cares bc it means they’re nice to ME too. and then last week happened. which was like the nail#in the coffin. INTERACTION ACTIVITY. I IMPULSIVELY ASK IF THEY WANNA B GROUPMATES AND THEY SAY YES. THEY ONLY TALK TO ME AND THEIR FRIENDS.#I ACT STUPID. THEY ALUGH AND TOUCH MY SHOULDER. I ASK ABT THEIR CAMERA AND THEY GO ON A LONG-ISH (cute) RANT ABT SMTH. THEY ASK WHY I HAVE#BIG ASS STACK OF POST ITS. WE TALK. THEY LAUGH AT MY JOKES. SUDDENLY. THEY SAY A FULL HELLO IN THE HALLS. THEY WAVE AT ME A DAY LATER. FUCK
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ragequilt · 1 year ago
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thanks to @ongreenergrasses for the tag! i have an unsuppressible need to do tag games and you feed me so well
Rules: When you get this, post five songs you actually listen to. Then send it to your favorite people on here.
1. City of Mirrors - Pure Bathing Culture
2. My wing (rave music edit) - Otyken, Billx
3. 2 My House - Benny Benassi, Chris Nasty
4. New Clothes - i_o, Lights
5. Quit - Schaffer the Darklord
tags: @bobawithpomegranate, @cat-slippered, @ofmermaidstories, @andypantsx3, @unintentionalgenius
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whytheylosttheirminds · 19 days ago
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home for the holidays (part two) - r.c.
❄️ a frat!rafe cameron holiday mini series ❄️ (part one here!)
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summary a simple favor for a friend ends with you reluctantly bringing Rafe Cameron, resident campus fuckboy, home for the holidays. It’s gonna take more than a little mistletoe for him to win you over…
content “enemies” to lovers, copious amounts of flirting, eventual smut, a dash of familial angst, parental illness and mentions of parental death, 18+ mdni
(taglist for this series is closed. please see author's notes at the end of the chapter for important info about the taglist!)
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Somewhere between his house and yours it dawned on Rafe, much to his annoyance, that he had a big, stupid crush on you.
He tried everything to suppress it. He reminded himself that you didn't like him, that you probably thought you were better than him. He reminded himself how stupid it’d be to get attached to someone only a few months before graduation. 
Jesus, really man? He thought. She’s not your type, Rafe. She hates you. Be a fucking man and pull it together.
But it was the way you were perched in the driver’s seat, scooted all the way forward leaving no room between you and the wheel, smiling as you sang along to Mariah Carey. You looked so soft and cute, the sleeves of his hoodie slipping over your hands as they clutched the steering wheel.
Fuck, he definitely had a crush on you, and he hated having a crush. There was way too much room for rejection. This was one area in which he’d never really grown up, so he opted for his usual defense mechanism - pushing your buttons, like he was ten years old on the playground, pulling your pigtail just to get a reaction.
“So was I right about you not having many hookups in college?” He blurted out sometime during the third play of All I Want for Christmas is You.
Your head snapped toward him, complete confusion and not even a smidge of amusement on your face.
“What the fuck?” You grumbled. “That’s kinda personal, actually…”
“I’m just saying, I’ve never seen you at parties, and you don’t seem to have a boyfriend. Four years is a long time…”
“Everything is about sex with you, huh? Some of us are actually in college to learn,” you scolded him. It was his intention to push you away, and yet the repulsion in your voice still stung.
“Alright, I’ll stop asking,” he conceded.
“Good,” you huffed, shoulders slumping a little.
He looked over at you every so often, determined to find a flaw, some blemish or ick that he could use as a dealbreaker. This plan backfired terribly, his eyes only discovering more pretty features and cute little mannerisms that made his stomach leap every time he looked at you. He felt like a moth, brainless and hopelessly drawn to the warm light of a lamp that was sure to zap him dead at the slightest touch.
After twenty minutes of freezing him out for his “no hookups” comment, you gasped and excitedly pointed out the first of many road signs for your hometown, your annoyance with him replaced with excitement as the signs advertised you were getting closer and closer to home. 
Then you finally gave him something to resent you for. After a remark about how excited you were to see your family, you looked over at him with big, kind eyes, nervously broaching the topic with a light touch on his arm, “I’m sorry about your family leaving you behind. That totally sucks.”
There was a softness in your tone that was so warm and inviting it made him want to jump out of the moving car. He knew he was fucked up for being mad that you were being nice, but he couldn’t help it, the tenderness in your gaze made him feel like a wounded puppy, and he hated your pity.
He pulled his arm away from your gentle fingers like they’d hurt him.
“I’m fine,” he snapped. “They didn’t leave me, it was just a miscommunication.”
You withdrew in more ways than one, pulling your hand back and falling awkwardly silent. Rafe kicked himself mentally, of course just when you’d started to come around to him, he pushed you away. Little did those girls in your dorm know, that was the true Rafe Cameron special.
“So, uh, you were saying something about presents for your brothers? How old are they?” He asked, praying he hadn’t made you shut down for good, trying to re-stoke the fires of the friendship you had been building since you offered for him to come home with you.
You were chewing on your nails, picking at the dead skin nervously. At his prompting you started to speak again, though a bit less enthusiastically than before he’d shut you down.
“Uhm, well,” you sat up a little. “There’s Luke, he’s sixteen. And then Reese is thirteen and Bennett is ten.”
“Fun ages,” he nodded, wincing at his cliché words.
“They are fun,” you nodded, a smile returning to your lips at the thought of your little brothers. The sight of you smiling again soothed the ache in his chest and he leaned back into his seat, full of relief.
“Luke is such a teenage boy, too cool for everything. I got him some Nike cleats because he plays football, he’ll pretend he doesn’t like them but I think he’ll wear them. And Reese is quieter, he’s always been a bit more sensitive. He wants to be a photographer, so I got him a vintage Polaroid camera. Benny was the easiest to shop for,” you smiled at the thought of your baby brother, Rafe could tell you had a special love for him. “I got him one of those giant gummy bears that comes in its own plastic case. It cost a fraction of what I spent on the other two but I guarantee you he’ll be the most excited.”
“I’m sure they’ll all like what you got them,” he assured you.
“They better, they cost me a whole paycheck,” you huffed, thinking of all the hours you’d worked slinging drinks at your college’s go-to student bar to pay for the presents that were currently sitting in your trunk.
“It’s better than what I got my sisters,” he reminded you with a laugh.
“Hey! I spent six whole dollars on those souvenirs!” You scolded him, smiling at the memory of the crappy little knick-knacks in the backseat.
“And I’m sure they’ll love them,” he agreed.
“What about your sisters? How old are they?” You asked.
Surely, you were just being polite, keeping the conversation going after he’d asked about your brothers. But he wanted nothing less than to talk about his family right now, the thought of them all hanging out at the Bahama house, completely forgetting that he existed, still stung fresh. He wondered if Sarah and Wheezie even asked his dad where he was, why he wasn’t on the plane. Maybe they were relieved to celebrate the holiday without him annoying them, he probably deserved it. 
“Hey, isn’t that your exit?” He pointed at the highway sign, advertising that the off ramp to your hometown was only half-a-mile away, trying to distract you from your question.
“Yes!” It worked, you sat up in your seat, excitedly pressing a little harder on the gas as you celebrated the proximity to home.
“Woah, slow down, I’d like to celebrate Christmas alive,” he joked as the needle on the speedometer climbed higher and higher.
“Oh shit sorry,” you giggled, pulling your foot back to slow down a little. “I’m just excited. It’s gonna be so cozy. My dad will have put a bunch of colored lights all over the front of the house, and the tree will be up, probably a fire going and Christmas music playing. I can’t wait to see them!”
His jealousy was almost debilitating. What must it be like to feel this excited to go home? To know what was waiting for you was going to bring you so much joy? He wanted what you had so badly, he was tempted to reach out and touch you just to see if he could absorb your happiness by osmosis.
The little town you called home was just as small as Rafe was picturing, if not more. Though, the tiny houses lining the main street were decked to the nines with Christmas decorations, so much merriment in such a tiny little hamlet. The further into the country you drove, green street signs giving way to rickety, hand-painted ones, the more he felt like he understood you.
You smiled at all the lights, body absolutely buzzing with each turn that brought you towards home. Finally, you turned on a long dirt road, past a field of horses Rafe recognized as the farm you said you grew up next to. Approaching a mailbox with your last name on it, your smile fell from your lips, eyebrows creasing as you turned onto the property.
At the end of the long driveway was a small little split level home Rafe surmised to be yours, only where he expected a display of twinkling christmas decor, there was only one single flickering porch light. If he hadn’t known better, he’d assume the family who lived here didn’t celebrate Christmas at all.
“What the hell?” You mumbled under your breath, concern on your face growing as you pulled the car up and parked behind an old, rusting mini-van. 
Arms full of presents, Rafe helping with your bags, you stumbled anxiously through the front door. The inside of your house was just as disappointing as the outside. It was messy, dishes on the counter and the echo of obnoxious video games ringing through the halls where there should be the familiar chatter of your family having dinner.
“Hello?” You called out, setting the presents down on the kitchen table. You peaked your head over the island, into the open space of the living room. In the far corner, where there should’ve been a Christmas tree, there was a pile of unfolded laundry. 
Two messy headed boys peered over the back of the couch, the third head not moving from its fixation on the TV as his fingers continued to click away on his controller.
“Gigs!!” The smallest one, who Rafe assumed to be Bennett, shouted, he and the second smallest, who he identified as Reese, rose from the couch and made their way towards you.
“Gigs?” Rafe repeated under his breath.
“As in Giggles. It’s my childhood nickname,” you explained, and when you saw his teasing smirk added, “shut up.”
Reese and Bennett nearly tackled you, colliding into you with little bear hugs. Reese was nearing your height, though not quite there yet, and Bennett was small but stocky, his chubby arms squeezing the air from your lungs.
“Rice and beans!” You sang affectionately as you returned their hugs, messing up their hair and pinching their cheeks. You looked to Rafe to answer the question you could see already forming on his lips, “rice and beans, as in Reese and Bennett, their nicknames.”
He smiled at your affectionate embrace with your brothers, nodding with a little, “ah.” Something in him ached, like a haunted limb, a muscle he didn’t even have that was sore from lack of use.
After several moments, Bennett pulled away, eyeing Rafe and pointing a stubby little finger right at him, “who’s he?”
Reese covered his brother’s finger, forcing his hand down correctively.
“Benny, that’s rude,” you said, unable to suppress the little chuckle at your brother’s boyish indifference.
In your concern over the state of the house, you hadn’t planned out how to explain Rafe to your brothers. ‘He’s a friend’ wasn’t totally accurate, but it was the only language they’d understand. Before you could open your mouth to explain anything, though, your youngest brother blurted out, “are you Giggy’s boyfriend?”
“Bennett Alan,” you snipped at him through gritted teeth, giving him a motherly glare as you used his full name in warning. “You’re being rude, and he is not my boyfriend.”
This was true, though Rafe wasn’t sure there was any need for the tinge of disgust in the way you said it. He could sense Bennett formulating another pot-stirring question and jumped in before he had the chance.
“I’m Rafe,” he set his bag down next to the counter and held out a hand. 
Bennett puffed out his chest, putting on his best adult voice as he shook Rafe’s hand, “I’m Bennett, my friends call me Benny.”
You and Reese gave each other knowing smirks, sharing eye rolls over your brother’s precocious antics. 
“And which should I call you?” Rafe played along with his all-business tone.
“Depends, how much money you got?”
Rafe smirked, but you were mortified. “Oh my god, Beans! You can’t ask people that. Here, make yourself useful and put these presents under the tree.”
“We don’t have one,” Reese told you, the first words Rafe had heard him speak, and by his quiet tone and the way he avoided eye contact he understood why you’d called him the sensitive one.
Rafe caught the way you allowed worry to flash across your face for only a second before you smoothed your features back into faux nonchalance, like you were putting on a show for the kids.
“Oh okay, well then I guess we’ll just leave them on the table,” you shrugged, as if you hadn’t been raving about your family’s grand Christmas trees just minutes ago.
Your eyes drifted back to the living room, where your remaining brother still hadn’t risen to greet you.
“Lukey? Help me with my bags?” 
The shaggy haired boy finally turned, eyeing Rafe with a cold distrust that felt like looking in a mirror.
“Looks like he’s already got ‘em,” he grumbled.
You gave him an authoritative glare that had much less playfulness than the one you’d given Bennett.
“Where are mom and dad?” You asked Reese in a hushed tone, shielding the question from Bennett, who was busy dragging a chair over from the kitchen table.
“It’s Thursday,” Reese responded, giving you a knowing look like you should know what that meant. When you clearly didn’t, he added, “chemo day,” in a whisper so quiet Rafe could barely hear it. “Mom’s been asleep since they got back and dad had to work the evening shift.”
Rafe did hear though, and your eyes flicked to him quickly with a vulnerability he hadn’t seen from you yet, like he somehow had something to hold over your head now. He wanted to say the exact right thing to put you at ease, to let you know your family’s business was safe with him. As he was formulating the words, Benny was climbing up on the chair he’d dragged over, standing directly between you and Rafe.
“How tall are you?” Benny asked Rafe once he could meet his eyeline.
“Uhm,” Rafe cleared his throat, pulled from the moment, “I’m 6 '2.”
“I’m 4 foot 1 and three quarters,” Benny explained, as though if this were a competition, he was just a few points behind Rafe, and gaining.
“Nice! 4 '1 is very respectable,” Rafe smiled, deciding it was best to be on Benny’s good side.
“And three quarters,” Benny corrected through gritted teeth.
“Right, sorry, and three quarters,” Rafe put his hands up in defense.
Benny crossed his arms and gave Rafe a once over, as if he was the man of the house deciding if he was allowed to stay. 
Sensing your brother was about to say some other rude thing to embarass you, you stepped in, “Benny why don’t you go show our guest where we keep the air mattress,” you grabbed him off the chair and lowered him to the ground with some difficulty, “and be nice,” you added in his ear.
Benny obeyed but gave Rafe narrow, suspicious eyes the whole way down the hall.
“There’s like a thirty percent chance Benny tries to fight him,” Reese noted as the two of you watched them go.
You chuckled, settling on the couch between your two brothers.
“So who is he really?” Luke asked, still not pausing his video game but at least acknowledging your existence. 
“He’s just a guy from school,” you shrugged. “He’s Brody’s friend.”
“Is Brody here?” Reese asked hopefully. You and Brody had been friends your whole childhoods, and your brother’s were always big fans.
“No, he had an internship or something, but I’d already told Rafe I’d give him a ride, and when we got to his house his family was just, like, gone,” you explained. “They went on a trip and didn’t even tell him.”
“Yikes,” Luke said. “That’s shitty.”
“Language,” you scolded, making him roll his eyes. “But yes, it is shitty,” you added, making him smirk. 
“He’s like Kevin from Home Alone,” Reese quipped. All three of you laughed.
“Honestly? It was kind of exactly like that, only sadder. Like a lost puppy. I mean, who just forgets their kid?” You lowered your voice a bit, hoping it wouldn’t carry down the hall. “I felt so awkward I didn’t know what to do so I said he could come here.”
Your brothers seemed satisfied with your explanation. Even though nothing you said was technically untrue, you still felt like you were somehow being dishonest. You’d never admit it, but it wasn’t all out of pity, there was some small part of you that wanted to bring Rafe home, that was intrigued by him and wanted to see more. But there was no way to explain that to two teenage boys, so you settled for the Home Alone excuse.
Benny came back around the corner, leaping onto the couch and nearly knocking over Luke’s soda.
“Beans, chill,” Luke groaned as he narrowly caught his Mountain Dew before it spilled all over the coffee table.
“Where’s Rafe?” You asked Benny, looking around to see if he’d followed your brother back out.
“He said to tell you he’s going to bed, he seemed kinda grumpy,” Benny shrugged, stealing Luke’s soda when he wasn’t paying attention and taking a swig.
“Oh,” you said, trying to hide the hint of disappointment in your voice. “Okay.”
Down the hall, Rafe snuck quietly into the laundry room as the fading voices of you and your brothers were drowned out by the sound of the water heater, which sat in the cramped space right next to the air mattress Benny had helped him set up.
Your voice echoed in his head, ‘I felt so awkward I didn’t know what to do.’ 
So it was a pity invite. You saw him as some sad character from a 90s movie, not an actual companion you wanted to spend the holiday with. 
He settled on the uncomfortable inflatable mattress. He was in a house full of people, and yet he was beginning to think he might actually feel less lonely all by himself in Tannyhill.
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Up before the sun, out the door before breakfast’s done; that’s the way your dad had been your whole life, working a string of manual labor, blue collar jobs that meant he was usually gone before you woke up.
This morning however, you were determined to talk to him before he left, to confront him about the complete lack of Christmas you’d found at your homecoming. You set your alarm at an ungodly hour so you could wait for him to come down the stairs.
Hunched over the counter by the brewing coffee pot, you ran your hands over your face. Your holiday homecoming was nothing like you imagined, the biggest surprise of all being the person you came home with, but you’d figure out how to broach that subject later.
“Hi Gigs.” Your dad’s footsteps were so quiet, you hadn’t heard him enter the kitchen. When you turned to meet him, he flashed you a tired grin.
He’d gotten home after you went to sleep last night, this was the first you’d seen him since your anticlimactic arrival. He looked more exhausted than you ever remembered seeing him. Even more tired than after Bennett was born and he had colic for six months.
“Hi dad,” you approached and gave him a hug before returning to the coffee pot to pour some for him in a travel mug.
“Couldn’t sleep?” He asked.
“A lot on my mind,” you said, turning to face him. “Made you some coffee. If you stay and talk to me I might just be persuaded to make you breakfast.”
Your dad slumped into a chair at the kitchen table, pulling on and lacing up his heavy work boots.
“No time for breakfast,” he waved you off. “You know that.”
“Dad, what’s going on?” You asked, knowing your window to get answers was closing quickly.
But he didn’t answer, he just sighed heavily and shook his head, avoiding your gaze.
“Just not a breakfast guy that’s all,” he joked. You knew he knew that’s not what you meant.
“You didn’t even hang any lights,” you mumbled softly, feeling a bit childish. “And there’s no tree.”
Your dad sighed again. You wondered if there was a record for how many times someone could sigh in one conversation.
“I’ve been working double shifts, there just hasn’t been time. I’m sorry,” he shrugged. “It’s been a long year, kid.”
“Why didn’t you tell me it’s gotten so bad? I would’ve come back sooner,” you said, pulling a side eye from him that you read as: and that’s exactly why I didn’t tell you.
“I don’t know, why didn’t you tell me about the frat boy in the laundry room?” He countered.
‘Oh, right,” you blushed, feeling like when you were twelve and he found you hiding a stray cat in the garage. “Was gonna mention him but, you know, you were working.”
“Could’ve told me you were bringing your boyfriend home,” he scolded you.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” you rushed to explain. “He’s Brody’s friend. He needed a place to crash.”
“Ah, Brody’s friend. That makes me feel so much better,” he rolled his eyes. 
Your dad was never a fan of Brody, too much of a ‘knucklehead’ as he called him. You knew Rafe wouldn’t fare much better in your dad’s good graces, no guy you liked ever did. Not that you liked Rafe. Fuck, your blush was getting deeper. You quickly looked down at your feet, hoping your dad wouldn’t notice. 
Luckily, he was too tired to read your facial expressions, he huffed as he rose from his chair and approached you, digging in his pocket for some cash. “Here, grab a tree and some gifts for the boys -”
“You haven’t even gotten them gifts yet?” You sighed.
“I know, I know,” he nodded, his baggy, tired eyes begging you for a little slack. You’d never seen him look so tired, sympathy overpowering your disappointment. “I’m trying here, gigs.”
“I got it,” you gave him a small, dutiful smile and pocketed the cash.
“I knew you would,” he gave you a side hug and accepted the travel mug of coffee you handed him. “I’m sorry things aren’t exactly what you expected. but I am glad you’re home.”
As he slipped out the front door into the chilly dusk, your mind spiraled. You knew your mom was having a rough patch with her breast cancer, but you had no idea it’d gotten this bad. No Christmas was simply not an option, maybe things would never go back to normal for you, or your parents, but that was adulthood wasn’t it? Your brothers shouldn’t have to grow up just yet, and you’d make sure they didn’t.
Everything felt wrong, off kilter in a way that made your stomach twist with the familiar anxiety that comes with any situation you can’t control. So you did what you always do when things feel uncertain; you made a list.
Pulling a notebook from the kitchen junk drawer, you uncapped a pen and quickly scribbled everything you could think of that needed to be done:
Decorations 
⇢ box in garage? lights working?
Presents for the boys 
⇢ wishlists? budget??
Buy and decorate tree 
 ⇢ Douglas Fir? tree lots still open?
Under each item you scribbled all the steps you could think of, as well as any conflicts you might hit along the way. Maybe if you could just work the problem, you could fix this, save Christmas and by extension, your family.
You eyed the empty checkboxes next to each item with worry. If you were going to pull all of this off in just two days, you’d need to call in some reinforcements. 
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The door to the laundry room squeaks if you open it slowly, which you did deliberately, milking it for all the disruptive sound it’s worth. Rafe was sprawled out on the air mattress, which had deflated just a bit in his sleep, making his legs stick up in the air a little higher than his upper body. 
He was snoring away, just like he had in the car, your noisy opening of the door not doing what you’d hoped it would. 
You sighed loudly, he didn’t stir. You cleared your throat, still nothing. You coughed theatrically, he was still out cold.
Finally, you opened the lid to the washing machine, taking off one sock and dropping it in, letting the heavy metal lid slam closed as you started a rinse cycle. At the crash, Rafe shot up, nearly falling off the air mattress.
“Oh good, you’re up!” You chirped, as if you hadn’t caused the sudden awakening.
“What the hell are you doing?” He grumbled at you, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. His hair stuck up at all angles and he squinted, barely able to open his eyes in his exhaustion. You gave yourself one second to think about how cute he looked before redirecting your focus to the reason you were in here.
“Just doing some laundry,” you told him as he reached around in the dimly lit room for his phone. “But since you’re awake...”
“What time is it?” He slurred, still half asleep.
“I dunno probably like 9,” you shrugged, knowing full well that wasn’t the case.
“I can’t find my phone,” he sunk back into the mattress, making like he was going to go back to sleep. That wouldn’t do.
“Oh, here!” You flicked on the fluorescent overhead light, making him wince and pull the covers over his head.
“Gah! Turn them off please!” He cried out, voice muffled from under the blankets.
“It’s time to get up, we have a big day ahead of us,” you walked over to the mattress, kicking it to jostle him around on the half-inflated plastic.
“I’m on vacation,” he protested. 
“Yes, exactly, Christmas vacation,” you walked around to the end of the bed, grabbing the covers in two hands and pulling them from his body, making him groan and curl up in the cold air like a rolly polly bug. “We have Christmas things to do.”
You tried not to notice the sculpted arms revealed by his grey tank top, and you really tried not to notice how the thin material of his flannel pajama pants was leaving very little to the imagination. He looked up after a moment, blinking his eyes open to catch you staring, his lips twisting in a cocky grin. He opened his mouth to say something smug and flirtatious, but before he could, his eyes caught the clock on the wall behind you.
“It’s 6am?!” He yelled.
“Oh is it?” You laughed, no longer trying to hide your scheme. “My bad, 6s and 9s look the same to me.”
Swiftly, Rafe stretched out his long leg, hooking his foot behind your knee and pulling you toward him, sweeping you off your feet and onto the mattress. A sharp “oof!” left your lips and as you crashed down onto what little air was left in the mattress to catch you. Landing hard, you immediately slid towards him, your body settling square on top of his.
“You wanna talk some more about 6s and 9s?” He grinned at you, his morning voice low and raspy in a way that sent goosebumps rushing up your spine.
“Ugh, you’re a pig!” You smacked him on the shoulder, pins and needles lingering in your hand where your skin had met his, and tried to push yourself up.
Wobbling on the plastic mattress, your attempts to get off of him only had you wriggling further down until your face was hovering over his. This was the closest you had ever been to him, suddenly noticing just how blue his eyes were. The glow of them under the fluorescents actually knocked the wind out of you, freezing your body in place over him as you took them in, feeling like you might drown in them if you stared too long, but letting the waves pull you under anyway.
“Morning,” he lips curved into a smile that was so handsome it almost made you forget your mission.
Grasping at your reason for coming in here like it was a lifeboat, you decided to use the compromising position you had him in to your advantage, leaning a little closer as you said, “I need you.”
Rafe’s eyebrows shot up in shock, was this really about to happen, right here in your parent’s laundry room?
“Oh yeah?” He flirted, muscles tensing in anticipation beneath you. “What do you need, hmm?”
“Just say yes and I’ll tell you,” you purposefully dropped your voice lower, adding a tinge of suggestion to your words to really bring it home.
“Anything,” he agreed, his mind five miles ahead of you in the wrong direction.
You sat up, straddling him, and pulled the list of tasks from your pocket.
“Great, get dressed, we’re leaving in five,” you smiled down at him, relishing the completely baffled look on his face. “We’re gonna save Christmas.”
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“No, we don’t have time to stop, we gotta stick to the list,” you protested as Rafe turned the car off the road and pulled into a drive thru.
After tricking him into agreeing to help you, you’d rushed him through getting ready and out of the house, convinced the stores would be packed as soon as they opened. He dragged his feet the whole way, but somehow you’d managed to wrangle him into the car, insisting he drive so you could look through some catalogs to map out gifts for your brothers.
“If I have to be up at the asscrack of dawn, I’m getting coffee,” he shot you down.
“Okay, fine, but if we get there and all the good deals are gone, I’m blaming you,” you conceded.
You tapped your knee anxiously as the line of cars in the drive thru crawled like a herd of snails. Rafe watched your fingers strum out of the corner of his eye, noticing for the first time the way your nails were bitten down to the beds. He wasn’t paying much attention, but he was fairly sure they weren’t that messed up yesterday.
“What do you want to order?” He asked, unsure why but suddenly only caring about finding a way to distract you.
Without needing to look at the menu, you recited, “venti blonde americano with two extra shots of espresso and a splash, like a really small splash, of oat milk. Actually no oatmilk. And four shots.”
Rafe blinked back at you, your fidgety fingers lifted to your lips as you chewed on your cuticles.
Pulling up to the speaker, he leaned in and said, “yeah grande black coffee for me, and uh, a tall green tea please.”
“That is not what I ordered!” you snipped as he pulled forward to the first window.
“Yeah, I’m cutting you off,” he explained. “If I let you have any more caffeine, you won’t have any fingernails left.”
You dropped your hand quickly, surprised that he had noticed. You were miffed that he was denying you your coffee, but he was probably right. You took a deep breath and sipped your tea as he drove to the first stop on your list.
Somewhere along the highway, the radio jingled the familiar first notes of All I Want For Christmas is You. You sat up, excitedly reaching to turn the volume up.
“If I have to listen to this song one more time, I swear I’m gonna drive the car off this bridge,” he groaned, his hand covering yours to stop you from making his misery louder.
“Oh my god you’re so dramatic,” you raised your eyebrows, giving in and returning your hand to your lap. “She’s the queen of Christmas!”
“Please,” he gave you a pouty lip from the driver’s seat. “It’s killing me.”
“Okay, fine,” you laughed, rolling your eyes at him. “No more Mariah Carey.”
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The department store parking lot was swarming with last minute shoppers. You hated that you belonged with them, punished for procrastination. Usually you did things early and thoroughly, now people would think you were one of the careless who pushed things to the last minute. It was a silly thing to worry about, but everything seemed to worry you today. You even made Rafe exchange phone numbers with you in case one of you got lost in the crowd and you couldn’t find each other. Your mind was running wild with worst case scenarios.
Rafe found a spot far from the door, as you walked towards the store’s entrance, you flipped through the catalog you’d snatched from your parent’s junkmail.
“Okay, so I circled everything that’s similar to what’s on the boys’ lists but on clearance,” you explained to him as he grabbed a cart, not fully listening to you. “We’ve got like fifty dollars for each of them, I think we can find a couple good things.”
Once inside the door, Rafe immediately grabbed a bag of chocolates off of the stocking stuffers display.
“That’s not on the list,” you reminded him, jaw dropping when he opened the bag and started eating the candy right there in the middle of the aisle. “And you didn’t pay for that!”
“Relax,” he held the bag out to you, “have some chocolate. Get into the Christmas spirit.”
“Since when are you the expert on the ‘Christmas spirit?’” You eyed him, noticeably not accepting a piece of his stolen candy. “You just threatened to throw Mariah Carey off a bridge.”
“No, I said I was gonna throw myself off a bridge if I had to listen to her one more time,” he placed his hand over his chest as if he was proving his innocence. “Besides, one of us has to have a little joy,” he noted, tilting his head a little to emphasize his point.
He was right, you were stressing a little too much. If Rafe Cameron was out-Christmasing you, then clearly you needed an attitude adjustment. 
“You’re right,” you sighed, accepting one of his chocolates and popping it in your mouth as you looked around the store to map out your shopping plan. “Alright, aisle ten for Reese’s camera lens and then aisle four for Benny’s lego-”
Your sentence was cut short at the feeling of Rafe’s thumb on the corner of your mouth, his face cool and casual as the pad of his finger ran across your lip. Your eyes shot around, there were at least a dozen people in this section, all close enough to see him circling your mouth with his finger.
Before you could push him off, not that you really wanted to, he pulled back. You stumbled a bit, subconsciously chasing the feeling of his touch. He revealed his thumb to you, he’d collected a little glob of chocolate that had smeared around your mouth.
“You’re gonna get us caught for our little shoplifting scheme,” he joked, licking the chocolate off the pad of his thumb as if it were the most normal thing in the world, and not an incredibly sensual action for a fluorescent lit department store at 7am.
“W-we are not shoplifting,” you stammered, fighting speechlessness and praying he didn’t notice the way your cheeks were burning. “You better pay for those.”
“Okay, okay,” he laughed. I’ll pay for them, I promise. But if I forget, I’m saying you took them.” He dropped the chocolates into the cart before you could protest and wheeled toward the first aisle on your list, making you scurry a bit to catch up with his long legs.
“Bastard,” you mumbled, still feeling flustered.
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Somewhere between the frozen food section and the office supplies aisle, you actually started having fun. 
Your cart filled slowly, the rush you were in when you entered the store slowing with every moment that passed walking around the store with Rafe. You joked about the hideous holiday decor, and the cheesy romance novel shelf. You stood on the back of the cart as he wheeled you around, nearly taking out a display of canned goods, and got a stern warning from a stock boy that sent you both into a fit of mischievous laughter. He tried on a series of truly awful hats for you, and even let you snap a few pictures.
As you laughed and shopped together, you couldn’t help but notice the cheery looks of the older ladies that passed you in the aisles. You returned their friendly glances with a blush, wondering, though it made you feel like a silly schoolgirl, if they thought Rafe was your boyfriend.
You’d remind yourself how foolish the thought was as you checked items off your list, seeing as this was not the real Rafe Cameron. The real Rafe Cameron wouldn’t be caught dead shopping for gardening gloves and barbeque tongs for your parents, he’d rather be pregaming a party or kicking the girl from last night who’s name he’d already forgotten out of bed. 
And yet, here he was, pushing the cart while you rattled on about Christmas when you were seven when it snowed so hard the power went out, the last time you remembered actually having a white Christmas. The way he nodded along intently had you actually wondering if it could be real, if being with him could be more than just a distraction from a stressful morning.
Your thoughts spiraled even further when he stopped to point out a his and hers sweater set, one reading “naughty” and the other “nice.”
“As long as I get to be the nice one,” you smiled as he pulled the itchy wool over his head.
He leaned down to tug its partner over your head, his voice low in your ear,  “Only ‘cause I know you like it when I’m naughty.”
Butterflies did pirouettes in your stomach, you snapped a picture of the two of you in a mirror, Rafe towering over you from behind as he smiled for the camera. 
“Yeah, we’re definitely buying these,” he said, tucking the tag into your collar, his knuckles ghosting over the skin of your neck.
After a few more shenanigans, you realized two hours had passed, and you still had several more items on your list.
“How about this? For your brothers?” Rafe asked, pointing out an Xbox in a display case. 
You snorted, “there’s no planet on which my brother’s would think that actually came from our parents. They’re still using an old PlayStation someone gave us years ago.”
“Well then I’ll get it for them, you can say it came from Santa,” he shrugged, as if the astronomical price tag below it didn’t even exist.
“Our Santa brings, like, socks and candy. He doesn’t have a black card,” you pulled his arm, guiding him to a cheaper aisle.
“And what does your Santa usually bring you?” He questioned, a not so subtle way to find out what you wanted for Christmas. 
“I don’t ask him for much,” you brushed the question off. “I just want my family all together.”
Rafe didn’t push any further, watching you out of the corner of his eye, realization dawning that you were serious, you actually didn’t expect to get any gifts for Christmas.
Not noticing his eyes on you, you scanned over everything in your cart, adding it up on your phone’s calculator for the hundredth time. You couldn’t remember a day in your life you weren’t worried about money. Every penny counts now more than ever with your mom not working and your dad unable to find a job that pays enough to keep everyone afloat without completely running himself into the ground.
Without realizing it, you brought your fingertips back to your mouth, biting your nails anxiously for the first time since Rafe had pointed out the bad habit several hours ago.
“Hey you know what?” Rafe said, and you were so lost in worried thoughts that you flinched at the sound of his voice. “Why don’t we split up to get the rest of the list? We’ll cover more ground that way. Also, I think I saw some fake trees on sale back there, so I can grab one.”
“Okay,” you agreed, feeling the little bubble of your flirty shopping spree pop. 
He was clearly ready to be done with this little excursion. But you’d had more fun than you thought you would, and there were still several days of break left to enjoy with him. You could feel the walls you’d so carefully built around your heart swaying just a little bit in his wind. The thought terrified and thrilled you all at the same time.
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After collecting your half of the gift list, you searched the store for Rafe. You found him in the jewelry section, leaning against the glass display case. You made your way towards him, prepared to tease him for wasting time in a section that wasn’t on the list, before you saw his reason for being there. You stopped short, ducking behind an inflatable Santa to watch with a disappointed glare. 
He was chatting up a pretty sales girl, her store uniform fitted tightly as she smiled down at him, her cheeks rosy pink and pretty smile blindingly white.
Rafe gave her the charming grin you’d begun to hope he only reserved for you, probably drawling some cheeky compliments to cause her to blush in the way you surely did when he talked to you.
The feeling in your chest was unfamiliar, and painfully uncomfortable. Reluctantly, you identified it as jealousy. No, no, you were not jealous over this obnoxious frat boy, you wouldn’t allow yourself to be. That was not how you were gonna start your Christmas break.
Just as you’d resolved not to be jealous, he reached up and brushed his hand against the necklace she was wearing, admiring her jewelry surely just as an excuse to bring his hand close to her chest. She beamed at him, his attempts at flirting clearly working. 
A deep frown settled on your features. He was supposed to be shopping for your little brothers and instead he was feeling up a sales girl? You felt so delusional for thinking you’d misjudged him on the drive down. He was the same guy you thought he was when he showed up at your car yesterday, you should've trusted your gut.
Hoping he wouldn’t catch you watching, you turned quickly on your heel, beelining for check out.
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Taking the bag from the sales girl with a wink, Rafe tucked the small item at the bottom of his cart, under the presents he’d collected for your brothers, and began searching for you in the crowded aisles, looking forward to the pleased look on your face when he informed you he’d found everything on his half of the list.
When he found you, you were already half way through checking out, loading items onto the belt and watching with tense shoulders as the total on the screen climbed higher and higher.
“What, were you gonna leave without me?” Rafe joked as he started adding his items to the belt.
“We’re on a schedule, we don’t have time to keep fucking around,” you grumbled. 
Rafe met eyes with the college-aged guy who was working as cashier, both of them flashing knowing smirks as if to say, “chicks, am I right, man?” Their boyish camaraderie made you even angrier. 
Once your cart was empty, you started to help Rafe empty his cart, but he jumped around to the front before you could, blocking your access.
“No, no, I got it,” he said nervously, his body blocking you from reaching into his cart.
Irritation crept up your chest, threatening to take over completely. You suddenly felt so petty and immature, like you were Benny’s age, knowing you were about to say something rude you’d later regret. 
“Fine!” You shoved the cash your dad had given you in Rafe’s hands, “I’ll just go pull the car around then.”
Rafe watched you leave through the store’s sliding glass doors, arms crossed as you exited to the parking lot, which was wet and slippery from the wintery sleet mix that had started falling at some point when you were in the store. You paused and huffed deeply, annoyed by the shift in weather, throwing the hood of your jacket up as you jogged across the lot to your car.
He had no idea what had changed in the thirty minutes you’d been shopping separately. There had been a moment earlier when he thought he’d finally won you over, and now you were back to treating him like he was the bane of your existence.
“This too?” The cashier asked, holding out the decorative mistletoe Rafe had thrown in the bottom of his cart, thinking he could work in some cheeky joke with you and get that perfect eye roll/reluctant smile expression you make that he’d become a little obsessed with.
“Yeah, sure, whatever man,” he agreed with a frown.
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As promised, you brought the car around, giving Rafe the cold shoulder as you loaded the gifts into the trunk. When you got to the fake tree Rafe had snagged from the holiday section, you paused.
“What’s that?” You questioned him.
“A tree?” He snapped back. “I told you I was gonna grab one.”
“No,” you shook your head, “we have to get a real tree.”
Rafe looked up at the sky pointedly, the worsening weather causing shoppers around you to duck and run to their car to get out of the misery.
“Are you serious?” He grumbled. “What’s wrong with this one?”
“It just…it has to be real, okay?” You huffed. “I found the last tree lot in the county that still has Douglas Firs, so you can take this one back.”
“Why don’t we keep this one just in case you change your mind,” he suggested.
“Fine, keep it, but I’m not changing my mind,” you threw the box with the fake tree into the trunk and slammed it closed, nearly catching Rafe’s hand in the heavy door as you did.
You stomped around to the driver’s side, leaving Rafe to return the carts to the main entrance, his jaw clenched in frustration the whole way. What had started as disappointment in your change in demeanor had turned into full-on anger. He may not be your favorite person, but you weren’t the only one having a shitty Christmas, and he definitely didn’t think he deserved whatever the fuck this was.
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“I’m telling you, it was veer left, not turn left!”
The windshield wipers were working overtime, squeaking against the glass as they tried and failed to keep the freezing rain out of your line of vision. You sat all the way forward in your seat to see through the watery streaks they left behind. You had pulled onto some muddy back road as Rafe read directions from the GPS, trying to find this obscure tree lot several miles outside of town.
“Veer left doesn’t make any sense, I know that road, it’s all factories and empty lots,” you waved him off.
“Okay, well it’s clearly not this road! Is this even a road? It’s like a fucking swamp out here, I don’t know how your tires are even still moving,” He argued back.
“Not everything around here is as nice here as it is in the Outer Banks, Rafe. We’re doing our best, sorry if we don’t meet Cameron standards,” you griped at him.
“Oh my god, that’s not what I meant, just admit you’re fucking lost,” he snipped back.
“I am not lost. It’s probably just taking me on a shortcut. The road will clear up any minute.”
As you said those fateful words, the road got even more unstable, dirt and gravel mixing with the precipitation to make what looked more like a vat of chocolate pudding than a road. 
Stubbornly, you accelerated, determined to get out of this patch of road and prove to him you were right. As you sped up, the steering wheel turned erratically under your hands, your tires skidding on the slippery road, eventually stopping movement at all.
“Hmm interesting,” Rafe quipped sarcastically, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched you try to navigate the situation you’d gotten yourself into.
“It’s fine, I just need to…” you accelerated more, your spinning back tire kicking up mud as it fought for forward motion.
“Stop, you’re gonna - “
POP! The car skidded forward violently just an inch before stopping altogether, the weight of it sinking underneath you as a loud whistling noise echoed from the rear tire.
“- blow your tire,” Rafe threw his hands up in exasperation as the low tire pressure light on your dash illuminated with a little ‘ding!’
You avoided his eyes, hands still clutching the steering wheel as you clenched your jaw in anger. 
“Thanks a lot,” you mumbled.
Rafe blinked at you in disbelief, jaw hanging slack. 
“Me?” He scoffed, looking around the car as if there was someone he could look to for confirmation that you were being insane. “How is this my fault?”
“You’re rushing me! I know how to drive on back roads but you were distracting me!” You were grasping at straws, you knew it, he knew it, but logic had flown out the window when the tire blew. 
Rafe just chuckled humorlessly, pinching the bridge of his nose, “let’s just call someone and -”
But you were already opening your door, booted foot landing with a squelch in the mud.
“What are you doing?” He called after you.
You leaned down to look at him through your cracked door, “never changed a tire before, rich boy?” With a smirk, you slammed the door in his face.
Scrambling in the mud behind you, Rafe tried to reason with you.
“It’s pouring, you’re gonna get sick! Please just let me call someone and we can get a tow home - ”
“We still have to get the tree,” you shut him down, loosening the spare tire from the back of the hatchback.
Rafe threw his hands out in disbelief, “you’re not serious right? You’re still trying to find this fucking farm that, I gotta tell you, I’m starting to think doesn’t even exist.”
“Yes,” you said simply, lowering the tire to the ground and pulling the lug wrench from the trunk.
“You might actually be the most stubborn, ridiculous person I’ve ever met. What is it about getting this tree?” He yelled over the steadily increasing rainfall. 
“Because, Rafe, I can!” You dropped the wrench in the mud and turned on him, tears stinging your eyes as you yelled, letting all your frustration out on this boy, who just yesterday was a stranger. “I can’t get my dad a better job, and I can’t buy my brothers the presents the really want, and I can’t cure fucking cancer! But I can get a goddamn Douglas Fir, like we have every year since I was born. So I’m getting this tree! You can call your new friend from he jewelry department to come pick you up, but I’m staying here and changing this fucking tire!”
Standing back, Rafe buried his hands in his coat pockets, nodding along as you let it all out, the loose threads all twisting to finally weave together an explanation for your shift in mood. He spotted the tears as you mentioned your powerlessness over your dad’s job and your mom’s cancer, feeling like he was starting to understand your stubborn insistence to make this cursed Christmas joyful.
Though he knew he should be comforting you, he couldn’t help the little upward twitch of his lips at your comment about the jewelry girl. That explained your mood at check out, and if he was being honest, made his heart leap a little at the thought of you actually being jealous for his attention.
After several moments of his eyes on you, sizing you up as he digested your outburst, you suddenly felt exposed, and a little silly, “what?” you asked him with a burning blush.
“Nothing,” he shook his head with a grin, leaning down to pick the wrench up from the mud, “just didn’t know you were the jealous type.”
Your jaw fell slack, out of all you’d just said, of course he was zeroing in on your comment about the girl in the store. You were somewhat relieved though, glad to have an excuse to move on from talking about all the sad, stressful things going on at home.
“You’re such an ass,” you laughed, the air between you growing a little lighter. “I bet people call you that a lot.”
Rafe knelt down in the mud, beginning to loosen the screws of the flat tire.
“Not everyone, some people go with ‘lost puppy’,” he muttered under his breath.
Your smile fell from your lips, your eyes grew as you realized he was quoting you back to you. He had heard you talking about him to your brothers last night. You replayed all your words in your head with a wince - laughing about how he was like the kid from Home Alone, saying you only brought him home because you felt awkward. God, now you felt like an ass.
“Rafe, I’m…I’m so sorry, that was not cool…”
“It’s fine,” he said, a small grunt leaving him as he used the wrench to loosen a particularly rusted bolt.
“No, it’s not. We shouldn’t have been laughing. I didn’t just bring you home because I felt bad-”
“Why did you then?” He stopped what he was doing, his eyes landing on yours so suddenly, you jumped back a bit, taken by the striking blue, and the vulnerability you were seeing in them for the first time.
Deciding it was time to get your own jeans muddy, you knelt down next to him, hands wrapping around the wrench handle next to his to help him pull, both of you struggling due to the rain making the wrench so slippery.
The bolt still didn’t budge, and you paused for a minute, sitting back on your heels and looking at him.
“Because it’s Christmas,” you answered his question. “And I wanted to spend it with a friend.”
The tips of his ears burned red, he hoped you’d think it was just from the cold.
Going in for a second try, you both tugged on the wrench again, gritted teeth and white knuckles as you combined your strength to turn it as hard as you could. Frosted rain slipping between the end of the wrench and the bolt made it slip, the metal flying through the air. You and Rafe both slipped in the mud under your knees, Rafe trying to catch himself on his hands so he didn’t land on top of you, but not quite in time. His large body landed on top of yours and you both went tumbling down the side of the road, landing side by side in the muddy ditch with an unsettling squelch.
Both of you completely covered in mud, panting and shocked, Rafe turned his head to look at you, “fake tree?”
“Yeah,” you breathlessly agreed. “Fake tree.”
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You and Rafe snuck in through the garage,  both of you tracking mud with every step. There was no way you’d make it all the way up to the bathroom without destroying the floors in your wake.
You’d laughed together the entire drive back to the house. What a disaster the shopping trip had turned into, and yet, you were more in the Christmas spirit now than you had been in a long, long time.
“Oh shit,” you yelped, slipping on your own muddy boot and knocking down a pile of boxes as you tried to stabilize yourself.
Rafe’s arms shot out to catch you, your nails digging into his forearms to hold yourself up. You eyed him, still wearing the “naughty” sweater you hoped he’d remembered to pay for.
“Well these are ruined,” you sighed, looking down at your own mud-soaked pullover. “And there’s no way we’re making it upstairs without tracking in mud.”
Before your sentence was even finished, Rafe was hooking his hands into the collar, pulling the sweater up and off with one pull, peeling off the soaked t-shirt underneath it, too. 
Failing miserably to hide your shock at his sculpted form, you bit your lip to silence the gasp that was begging to escape. He was just as built as you expected, if not more. His abs creased in a perfect set of six, sturdy pecs and two thick blue veins running through each bicep. He was somehow tan in the middle of December, and his skin was perfectly smooth apart from the little line of rough hair that ran from his belly button down to the waistband of his jeans. 
He caught you staring, of course he did, and smirked as he flustered you further by unbuttoning his jeans and letting them fall to the floor in a muddy heap, left in only his black boxer-briefs.
Frozen in place, you subconsciously pulled your sleeves down over your hands, as if covering yourself up more could clear the cloud of attraction fogging your brain. Rafe turned and walked towards the door that led into the house.
“Wha-where are you going?” You asked him, snapped out of your trance.
“To take a shower,” he said, like it was obvious. “I’m fucking freezing, but you can stay here and drip.”
He smiled at you expectantly, there was a challenging dip in his voice as he over pronounced the last word. Something competitive rose in your chest, he clearly didn’t think you had it in you to strip down, too. At the end of the day, you were a classic oldest child - you didn’t take kindly to losing.
Keeping your eyes locked to him, you grabbed the hem of your sweater and pulled it off over your head, copying him by pulling the shirt underneath off too until you were standing in front of him in just your bra. Rafe tilted his head as his eyes raked over you, raising his eyebrows when he got to your jeans, just as muddy and destroyed as his had been.
With a hard swallow, you undid the button and zipper with shaky hands, shimmying your hips a little to pull the wet denim over your curves. Rafe went pale and speechless, taking in the little show with a heavy rise and fall of his chest. You piled all of your clothes in the corner, hoping no one in your family stumbled upon them before you had the chance to wash them.
Rafe didn’t even try to hide the way he was drinking you in as you padded towards him in your underwear, brushing past him to get to the door first.
“I mean, damn,” he wolf-whistled at you, quietly so no one inside the house came looking for the sound.
“Shut up,” you rolled your eyes, stepping ahead of him so he couldn’t see your pleased smile.
He followed your tiptoed steps through the hall and up the stairs, stopping at each corner to make sure no one was going to come around it and catch the two of you sneaking around in your underwear. 
Once you made it to the upstairs bathroom, you turned on the shower, excited to step into the steamy water and finally warm up. You were surprised to find Rafe still standing in the open doorway when you turned, sure he’d get the hint that he should wait outside when it came time for you to really strip down.
“What are you doing?” You whisper-scolded him.
“Enjoying the view,” he winked.
“Oh my god,” you groaned, pushing him by his chest so he stumbled back into the hall. “I don’t need your help for this pa-”
Your sentence was cut short by the creaking of wood under incoming footsteps. Panicking, you grabbed Rafe’s wrist, pulling him into the bathroom and locking the door behind him. 
“Woah, is this really happening?” He asked breathlessly, licking his lips before you slapped your hand over his mouth to shut him up, his eyes going wide at your boldness.
“Someone’s coming,” you mouthed, urging him to be quiet as you kept your palm firmly sealed over his lips.
The footsteps in the hall grew louder, their owner getting closer and closer to the door, not knowing you had a half-naked man pushed up against the other side as steam swirled around your bare bodies.
As you both waited with baited breath, your eyes drifted over Rafe’s body, so close to yours in the tiny bathroom. You couldn’t help it, sure that desire was painted all over your features. There was no use in denying it, as the warm steam caused a single drop of sweat to roll down his chest and into the ripple of his abs, you finally allowed yourself to accept that you wanted him, bad.
He felt it too, you were sure of it, his eyes half closed with heavy lids as he looked down over you, drinking in all the exposed skin and soft lace of your underwear set. 
Just as his hand slowly started rising toward your hip, a knock on the other side of the door made you both jump, a little yelp of surprise almost leaving your lips before Rafe threw his hand over your mouth, the tables turned. 
“Hey Gigs?” Benny’s little voice called from the other side of the door.
You tried to move Rafe’s hand from your mouth, but he only allowed you to lift it enough to respond before covering your lips again.
“Y-yeah, Beans?” Your voice cracked in response, Rafe flashing you a teasing grin at your flustered state. You shot him a warning look, praying your little brother couldn’t sense what was going on.
“Can we open the presents you bought us now, pleaseee?” Benny asked.
Normally you’d say no, that they had to wait until Christmas day. But as you were about to reject his request, Rafe pulled his hand from your mouth, letting his thumb tug your bottom lip down as he dragged his fingers to your jaw and brushed the soft skin of your neck. You could tell by his wicked grin he was enjoying seeing how far he could push you, drunk off your blushes and gasps.
“Yes, sure, th-that’s fine,” you told Benny, eager to get him away from the door. Rafe chuckled quietly at your compliance, making you clench your jaw even harder in annoyance at him.
“Sweet, thanks!” Benny called, hurrying back downstairs, clearly not having expected you to give him the answer he wanted.
Once you were sure the coast was clear, you glared up at Rafe, “you can’t do that!”
He threw his head back in satisfied laughter, bringing it back down only to drop his lips close to your ear.
“So, how about that shower?” He whispered.
With a little grin of your own, you leaned in too, “Rafe?”
“Yeah?”
“Get out.”
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Rafe managed to find his way back to the laundry room without bumping into any of your brothers. He ran his hair under the utility sink faucet to get the flecks of mud out, throwing on some clean, warm clothes before heading to the kitchen in search of a much needed glass of water, his mouth still full of cotton at the thought of you nearly naked in front of him.
As he rounded into the kitchen, he stopped short, surprise flashing across his face.
A painfully thin woman, who he could only assume to be your mother, stood in the middle of the small space, bony hands on the back of an empty kitchen chair. Her bald head was wrapped in a silky scarf, and she smiled an easy grin that reminded him so stunningly of yours.
“You must be Rafe,” she said. “Have a seat.”
(to be continued)
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a/n: okay not the single longest post I've ever made on this website. period. thank u for reading!! two more parts w the last taking place on New Year's Eve. merry everything!!
taglist note: the taglist for this series will be posted in replies asap and has gotten very long so it is closed. I'm soooo thankful that ppl want to know when I post you have no idea! but it takes me a long time to do and makes posting difficult, so I am asking that in order to stay on the list for the rest of the series, you interact with each post in some way (reply with feedback, a rb, an ask - anything you'd like!) it really helps me as a writer! thank you!!
if you missed the taglist, just follow @whytheylosttheirminds-works and turn on notifs to be first to know when I post!
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planetaryupscaled · 3 months ago
Text
Best Friends Share Everything
Male Reader x Yunjin x Karina
Tags: 18k, smut, creampie, oral, threesome, tw
The story is not ours, we alternate the original story to match our desired settings.
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Yunjin tugged at her clothes. “Look, can’t we just get naked again? This shirt itches. And these pants are too tight.”
“I’m not comfortable either, but your friend will be here soon. We can put up with it for one evening.” I said, “And then I get to undress you. I hardly ever get to do that anymore. Taking off your clothes always feels like Christmas.”
Yunjin smiled and shook her head, then went back to tidying up her living room. I turned back to preparing dinner before her best friend arrived.
Hearing Yunjin complain about wearing clothes was such a remarkable change from the shy, reluctant girl I’d met only three months before. When we first met, I discovered a girl inhibited by years of shame, guilt and fear about sex and men instilled by her extremely strict upbringing. She had barely dated anyone, and had only had sex couple times with the same inexperienced guy.
After our weekend of camping and sexual adventure, she became a changed woman. Yunjin still felt some shame when we were together, but the fear was gone and she was rapidly releasing her pent-up desires and curiosity about sex. Such a beautiful transformation to witness. I admired her courage and loved that I was the target of Yunjin’s blossoming sexual freedom.
Surprisingly, the nudity helped. It was new to us both, but whether she was at my place or hers, she insisted we shuck off our clothes the moment we closed the apartment door. Just doing normal things without clothes felt great, and somehow it helped us to be more open with each other. It was more difficult to keep secrets when all your intimate bits are on full display. We were so used to being naked that it wasn’t sexual, just, freeing.
Regardless, I still caught myself staring at her beauty. Yunjin had modest boobs with an unusually narrow waist that flared out to womanly hips and an ass that was broad and toned. I could look at her all day and never grow tired.
Yunjin had invited her best friend Karina for dinner as a thank you, of sorts. I knew Karina a little through one of my close friends, and it was her who suggested Yunjin and I should meet.
“You did actually talk to her before, right?” asked Yunjin as she fussed, straightening up her apartment.
I was at her stove, cooking. I called back, “Only a few times. It’s my friend who really knows her. She was there many times when we went out drinking.”
“Did you ever ask her out?”
“C’mon, she would have told you that. She’s your best friend. No, I never got to know her that well. I thought she was already taken.”
“Oh, she’s constantly ‘taken’. Then ‘untaken’. And ‘taken’ again. She never keeps a guy for long.”
“But she’s gorgeous,” I said.
It’s true. Karina was a beauty: tall with elegant features, tight ass, big boobs. She was a walking wet dream to most guys.
“You know, you’re not supposed to tell your girlfriend that another woman is gorgeous.”
“Oh, right. Sorry. What I meant to say was that I could see how some guys might find her attractive, but she’s a bitch compared to the radiant, heart stopping beauty of my lovely, funny and brilliant Yunjin.”
A couch cushion sailed from the living room and hit me in the back of my head.
“Hey!” I exclaimed. “No disturbing the chef or dinner will be ruined.” I tossed the cushion back to Yunjin.
“Since it’s you cooking, dinner is probably already ruined.”
“Ouch. C’mon, you have to admit I do okay for a guy. Of course, I don’t have your genetic advantage.”
Yunjin looked puzzled. “What?”
“You know… the cooking and cleaning genes that women possess. No guy can ever compete with that.”
Yunjin opened her mouth to say something but then looked at the can of furniture polish in her hand and at her made appetiser laid out on the coffee table.
We were still laughing and calling each other mean names when the bell rang.
Yunjin let Karina in and she kissed her on the cheek. When I extended my hand to shake hers, Karina pulled me close and kissed my cheek too.
“So, you’re the guy who saved Yunjin.”
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“Nice to see you again, Karina,” I said. “Save her? I prefer to think that I’ll be the ruin of her. Bet her parents think that already.”
Karina smiled. “They would if they knew what you two have been doing.”
I went back to cooking and let the girls talk. When the food was ready, Karina helped us serve. We opened some cheap wine, then I proposed a toast.
“To Karina. Who insisted Yunjin and I meet and is therefore the cause of her imminent ruin.” The girls chuckled then we clinked glasses.
From the few brief times I had talked to Karina before, I knew she was brash and straightforward, so I was a little anxious. I needed to make a good impression since the pair had been best friends since high school. Karina studying me intensely at the start of dinner didn’t help, but soon she was joking and telling embarrassing stories about Yunjin as if all of us were old friends.
“I never knew that getting your brains fucked out would have changed you so much, Yunjin.” Karina said and eyed me for a reaction.
Yunjin gasped, “Karina!”
“Well, it’s true,” said Karina. “You’ve changed so much since hooking up with this guy. I’ve tried so many times to draw you out of your shell. Guess that’s what’s made us such good friends, huh? Guy troubles.”
I poured us all more wine and said, “Okay, Karina, that’s what I don’t get. You’re beautiful and you seem to have your act together, yet Yunjin says you have trouble finding good guys. But everyone must be tripping over themselves for you.”
Karina paused, then said, “Yeah, that’s the problem.”
“Uh…”
Yunjin said, “What she means is, Karina attracts every asshole in the universe. What is it you call your theory?”
“The ‘Too Fucking Pretty’ Syndrome,” said Karina.
“Yeah, that, Arrogant assholes are always trying to get in her pants. And nice guys think they don’t stand a chance so they stay away.” said Yunjin.
“Guys have been hitting on me since I was like, eight.”
“Well, that’s disgusting,” I said.
“Welcome to my world. Everywhere its cat-calls on the street and macho dipshits who want to claim me as their trophy.”
I paused. “You know… to be honest, I think I’m guilty of that too. I never even considered approaching you when we hung out at the bars with Doyun.”
“See? Now if you had, maybe it’d be me telling Yunjin how happy I am, instead of the other way around.”
I didn’t know how to process that bizarre comment, so I said “But you can approach guys too. And online it’s easy.”
“Oh, it is. But guys see my pictures and think they’re fake, or I’m trolling. But I shouldn’t complain. I have found a few good guys.” Karina replied.
“Well, that’s great.” I said.
“One guy moved away, another guys challenging him.”
“Challenging him?”
“The ‘hey baby, drop that loser and come get with a real man’ thing. And when the assholes didn’t take ‘go fuck yourself’ for an answer, there was always a fistfight. He got tired of it. So did another guy I saw for a while.”
“Well,” I said. “Then I guess you’re screwed. Either you make yourself ugly, which would take an awful lot of work, or give up and become a nun. I hear there’s a big demand for nuns right now.”
Karina scoffed and Yunjin threw an eye at me.
Yunjin laughed, “You’re such an asshole.”
“Are all this guy’s jokes this same ‘dad joke’ level of quality?” Karina said.
“Oh, mostly,” said Yunjin. “Imagine how bad the jokes would be if he ever did become a dad? I’d have to leave him.”
Karina cast a catty look at Yunjin
“From what you told me; you almost did make him a dad.”
Yunjin blushed and lowered her eyes.
“Yeah… that was bad. I’m on the pill now.”
I interrupted. “Hold on there. Just how much did Yunjin tell you about our camping trip?”
“Everything,” said Karina and Yunjin in unison.
“Yunjin!? what the hell?” I said, dumbfounded.
“What? She’s my best friend. We tell each other everything.”
“Well, shit. Now I feel completely exposed.”
“Oh yeah, speaking of that,” said Karina, “You know, Yunjin, at school you never even got naked in the locker room. Always covered up with a towel. Then you spend a whole weekend naked with this guy? Did he hypnotize you or something?”
I leaned back and rested my hands behind my head. “It’s just my charisma and masculine charm.”
“Oh, ew,” said Karina, wrinkling her nose.
“You should try it!” Yunjin said, “It was really weird at first but then you feel, well… free. Not a care in the world.”
Karina eyed me. “Not with some guy’s ‘dick’ waggling at me all the time.”
“But it’s not like that,” said Yunjin. “Well, okay, maybe at first. But then it becomes normal and—”
Karina interrupted. “Sounds like you’ve been reading propaganda or something.”
“I don’t know,” Yunjin said. “I just know that we like it.”
“We? You mean it wasn’t just that weekend? You’re still walking around all naked even now?”
Yunjin blushed again. “Well… yeah. It’s just normal for us now. I guess we’ve kinda, like it, when we’re alone.”
“So, if I wasn’t here…” said Karina.
Yunjin shrugged, “…we’d be naked right now.”
Karina sat back in her chair and exhaled. “Holy shit. You two are crazy.”
The wine flowed as the conversation progressed. Karina was clearly intrigued, so I said, “It’s not a big deal. Why don’t you just try it?”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I bet you’d like that.”
“Well, not now!” I said, “No, I mean try going without clothes at home sometime. Like Yunjin said, it becomes normal pretty quickly. Even my ‘dick’ used to it.” I smiled.
If we hadn’t all been a little drunk, we wouldn’t have been having such a conversation. But we were all feeling a little loose.
When dinner was cleaned up, Yunjin and I joined Karina on the couch with a fresh bottle of wine. We chatted and joked, getting to know each other, even getting into arguments about some stuff. Like Yunjin, Karina was funny and smart on current events. She made some well-considered arguments during the conversations, always with a wry sense of humour. I liked her immediately.
Karina took a gulp then said, “So how would we do this?”
“Do what?” Yunjin asked.
“Get naked. You say it’s so great. I want to try.”
“What, now? You should just do it at home.”
“But that’s not the same, is it? I’m naked at home every time I take shower. Doing it around other people is the thing. And to you two it’s normal, so… why not?”
I was shocked, and Yunjin, looking at me, seemed equally surprised.
“Karina, are you serious?” asked Yunjin.
“We always share everything, right? And where else could I try such a thing with people I know and can trust? So, how do we do this?”
“Uh, well, I don’t know. If we were to do it, I guess we could turn off the lights and see if you were comfortable.” I said.
“Okay.”
Yunjin looked at me, unsure. “Karina, it’s not a big deal for us. But I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”
“Oh relax. I’m a big girl. And like you said, it’s only skin. Just turn off the lights.”
So we turned off every light in the apartment. Only the dim night-time glow of the city through the windows lit the room. Yunjin and I undressed. It felt so good to get everything off. I took the clothes into her bedroom.
When I returned, Yunjin hugged me, her naked body warm against mine.
“Think she’ll be okay?” she asked.
“Who’s speaking, please?” I joked, groping Yunjin’s face. “I’m more concerned I won’t get to see any of her at all. It’s so dark in here.”
We looked over and Karina was a silhouette at the windows, looking out. Then she took a breath and stripped, putting her clothes on a chair. She went back to the window, her slender body an enticing outline, and stood toying with a gold chain she had kept around her neck.
Yunjin and I sat on the couch and sipped our drinks. After a few minutes, Karina came over. There was barely enough light to see even shadows. I expected Karina to sit in one of the chairs on the other side of the coffee table, but she plopped down right beside me on the couch.
“So,” she said. “How’s that ‘dick’ of yours?”
We laughed.
“Quite a way to spend an evening,” Karina said. “Sitting here naked beside my best friend’s boyfriend. And Yunjin over there… a few months ago she was certain she’d be dragged to hell if she even looked at a guy. Now she’s sitting here, tits out, sipping wine like it’s nothing.”
“I’ve been pushing my comfort zone, like you always said I should. Anyway, now that’s we’re all, uh, comfortable, we do have a dessert prepared if you’re interested.” Yunjin said
“Oh yeah! The best part of every meal.” said Karina. “What’ve you got?”
“Chocolate fondue,” answered Yunjin.
“You two planned all of this, didn’t you? What’s next, a game of naked Twister?”
Once we finished laughing at that, Yunjin got the little fondue pot and tray of fruit from the kitchen, setting it on the coffee table. She lit the candle under the pot where it cast enough light for me to see Karina more clearly. Her breasts were beautiful: large for her slender body but perfectly shaped.
“I’ve never had this,” said Karina. “How do we do this?”
“It’s easy,” said Yunjin. “Take a fork, spear some fruit from the tray, dip it in the chocolate. We have pineapple, orange slices, strawberries, grapes and gum drops.”
“Gum drops are fruit?”
“They are when you’ve run out of fruit.”
“Here you go,” I said, handing Karina one of the long fondue forks. “Careful where you aim that thing.”
“Same to you, I’ve got bigger targets than you.” She glanced towards her boobs.
We started eating. I turned to Yunjin and fed her a chocolate covered strawberry. She fed me a grape in return. Karina dipped some pineapple into chocolate and moved it towards her mouth. I watched as a glob of chocolate dripped onto one breast.
Karina saw me looking at her boob. I glanced up at her, then licked my lips like a puppy, giving her a pleading, hopeful look.
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” she laughed. “Don’t get any ideas. Got a napkin?”
Yunjin had been watching. Suddenly, she leaned across me and licked the chocolate from her friend’s boob.
Karina recoiled, covering her breast. “Yunjin, What the hell?”
Yunjin giggled. “Sorry, we’re all out of napkins.”
“Oh my God. You really are a changed woman.”
Then Karina noticed I was looking at her expectantly.
“What?” she said.
“I get to do the next one.”
Karina leaned forward and speared a strawberry. She twirled it in the chocolate then taking very deliberate aim, held it high above my lap and let a dollop of warm chocolate fall right onto the tip of my cock.
We sat there for a moment, all of us looking down at my chocolate covered dick.
Then Yunjin looked at Karina and said, “Flip a coin?”
Both girls must’ve thought that was hilarious.
“See if I ever get naked with you two again,” I said. I started to get up to look for a napkin but Karina pulled me back down, grinning wickedly. She lowered her head then licked the chocolate right off the tip of my cock.
“Karina!” exclaimed Yunjin.
Karina sat back up and said, “A good guest always cleans up her own messes.” She looked at me to gauge my reaction.
Yunjin stuck two fingers into the chocolate and reached across me to smear it on her friend’s boobs. Karina did the same to Yunjin, and when she leaned across me, her large chocolate-covered tit slid across my chest and coated me. So I pulled her head to my chest and rubbed her face against it. Karina then sat up, grabbed my head with both hands and pulled me right into her soft messy boobs, rubbing my face all around.
When it was over, the three of us had chocolate all over our faces and chests. We sat back laughing.
Yunjin came to her senses first. “Okay, everybody stand up! I don’t want to get any on the couch.”
We stood up and Yunjin turned on a table lamp. While she leaned over to examine the couch, Karina and I stood facing each other. It was the first time we were in full light since taking off our clothes. We stood there, inspecting each other’s bodies. Even smeared with chocolate, Karina was stunning and judging from the trimmed patch between her legs. Karina also checked me out in detail, wearing a slightly hungry expression.
“Well, we’re lucky,” Yunjin said, “None got on the couch.” She stood up and Karina and I looked away from each other.
“A food fight, tsk tsk tsk, Totally childish, you guys” said Yunjin.
“You started it,” Karina said, “But it was fun! I haven’t had a food fight before, and… naked Infront of people”
“Yes, I can cross that off my bucket list,” I said.
“You had ‘naked chocolate food fight with two girls’ on your bucket list?” asked Karina.
“Well, yeah. Every guy does.”
Karina shook her head and shared a look with Yunjin. “Men,” they said, shaking their heads.
“Okay,” said Yunjin. ‘Let’s get cleaned up.’ When she saw Karina and I glance at each other’s chocolate covered bodies, she added “and no, no one is using their tongue.”
“Awww,” Karina and I said in unison.
“Come on, Karina. We’ll show you the shower.”
“Can you turn that light off?” Karina asked.
“Oh, yes. Sorry.” Yunjin switched off the table lamp. Our night vision ruined, each of us were again only shadows.
“Thanks,” said Karina. “I’m still getting used to this nudity thing. It does help to keep the lights off.”
“Well,” I said, “we’re not going to find the bathroom without some light.” I lit a candle and held in front of me as I led the way to Yunjin’s bathroom.
Yunjin started the shower while I set the candle on the counter. While Yunjin adjusted the water, I noticed Karina looking at me again, a wistful expression on her face. She was fingering her gold chain.
“Okay, Karina. Go on in.” Yunjin said.
Karina got a mischievous look. “Let’s shower together.”
“Are you serious?”
“Come on! We’ve already seen each other. It’ll be quicker.” Karina grabbed my hand and tugged me into the shower behind her.
“Hang on,” Yunjin said from the other side of the shower curtain, “I have to get towels.”
Karina stood under the shower, water streaming down her lovely body in the dim candle light. She pulled me close and looked up at me with a serious expression.
“Hi,” she said. It was almost a whisper.
“Uh, hi, Karina,” I said, unsure of what she was doing.
Yunjin stepped in behind us.
“Come get wet you two,” said Karina.
Three people in the apartment’s little bathtub shower was a tight fit. It took some awkward maneuver for each of us to take turns under the water. I was standing under the spray, soaping Yunjin’s firm breasts as Karina soaped her back. I reached lower and ran my soapy fingers between Yunjin’s legs. She squirmed a little, and then forced my hand away, shaking her head as she glanced back towards Karina.
“We don’t want her to feel uncomfortable,” she whispered.
I spun us around until Yunjin was under the spray, my back to Karina. Yunjin soaped up my chest while Karina began cleaning my back. Yunjin briefly ran her hand over my dick, trying not to excite me. Behind, Karina pressed her breasts against my back and started kneading my ass.
“No fair, guys,” Karina complained. “No one is cleaning me.”
So I traded places with Karina, putting her between Yunjin and me. I looked towards Yunjin to see if it was okay, but she was busy washing her best friend’s back. Karina grabbed my hands and placed them right on her breasts. She gave a deep sigh then just stood there as I slid my soapy hands all over them, feeling their firmness, their weight, her warmth. Karina eyes never once left mine.
Behind her, Yunjin said, “Okay, I’m clean. Karina, I’ll get out so you can rinse off. She stepped out the curtain. Karina backed herself under the water, pulling me with her. Suddenly she reached up and pulled me into a deep kiss. Surprised, I hugged her but then pulled back. She looked at me, her eyes searching mine.
I glanced towards the closed shower curtain and whispered, “Karina, what are you doing?”
She took a deep breath and said “I… I don’t know.” She hugged me and rested her head against my chest. Then she released me, rinsed off quickly and stepped out.
I was more than half-hard now, so I turned the shower on full cold and willed my dick to relax. When I stepped out, both girls were almost dry. Yunjin handed me a towel. She looked down and noticed that I was still a little excited. Again, she shook her head in warning, indicating Karina behind her who was bending over toweling off her hair.
Back in the living room, we sat and drank more wine to the light of a candle. Instead of sitting beside me on the couch, this time Karina chose to sit in the chair opposite us. Was she upset by our experience in the shower? I couldn’t tell.
“So this is what two do when you’re together,” said Karina.
“Well, usually by this time we’re in bed.” Yunjin said, then she covered her mouth when she realized what she had said.
“Oops. Sorry.”
Karina shook her head. “It’s so amazing to hear you talk like that, Yunjin. It’s amazing you’re actually… you know,”
Yunjin snorted. “What?”
“Well, you didn’t like it when I said you were fucking each other’s brains out.”
Yunjin shook her head in disapproval.
“See? Anyway, I’m happy for you. You’ve held yourself back way too long.”
“Thanks, Karina. I’m getting used to it. It’s all been pretty wonderful.”
“So you’ve been telling me — In great detail.”
“Yunjin, you don’t actually have to tell Karina everything, you know. I’d like to think we maybe have a few secrets.” I said.
“Oh we do, I still haven’t told her you started to… oh, never mind.”
“Started to…?” Karina asked.
Yunjin looked down sheepishly and said, “Uh, you know. Use his mouth. Down there.”
“Holy shit, Yunjin, Some things you can keep private, you know.” I said.
“Well, let’s see. You run around naked every chance you get; she likes giving you blowjobs because of how cute you look when you come. Doggy style is your favorite position, girl on top is hers, but she won’t do anal. And now you’re eating her out. Did I miss anything?” Karina said.
Yunjin’s mouth hung open, mortified.
“You like it?” Karina asked.
“What?”
“When he uses his mouth — Down there.”
“Uh, well. It’s actually pretty fantastic. He makes me come every time.”
Karina looked surprised. “Bullshit. Not every time.”
“Well, yes. So far.”
Karina sighed. “Wow. No guy has ever made me come.”
Yunjin exclaimed “But you’ve been with lots of guys.”
Karina wrinkled her nose. “Not ‘lots’. But most have been too interested in getting themselves off to bother much with me.”
“But fucking, er, I mean…”
“That never does it for me.”
“Oh it does for me.” said Yunjin. “Not every time, of course, but often enough.”
“But him eating you out does every time? So come on, tell me. What does he do, exactly? Guys have done that to me and it’s just been kind of… meh.”
“Uh, ladies, come on now…”
Ignoring me, Yunjin said, “Well, I don’t really know. It’s not like I take notes. He just… does things. Lots of things. And then I’m gone.”
Karina turned to me, “So? What’s the secret? How can you make her come every time?”
I sighed. “Clearly there aren’t going to be any secrets with you two. So, okay. How can I explain something like that? I guess I just try to figure out what she likes best. Then I tease a little… you know, get her close, make her want it, take my time.”
“And you like doing it?”
“Oh yeah.” I looked at Yunjin. “I could come just watching Yunjin when she gets excited.”
Yunjin kissed me on the cheek, eyes gleaming in the candlelight.
Yunjin thought for a moment. She leaned against me then whispered, “We could show her, you know.”
“Huh?”
“Show her. You can’t tell her what you do. So maybe can she just… see for herself?”
“Okay, no more wine for you, Yunjin.”
“What? She’s already seen us naked, and we’ve already done some crazy things tonight. She’s my best friend.” She turned to Karina, “We could show you, then maybe you could teach the next guy you’re with.”
Karina sat, mouth half open. But clearly she was interested. She looked at me and blinked. “Uh, sure. So, uh, you mean make a video or something?”
I looked at Yunjin. She was looking at me with excited eyes.
“No,” she said. “Who would hold the camera? I mean, he could just do it with me and you could, uh, you know… watch?”
“Yunjin,” I said, “I think you might just want to show off for your friend. Or you’ve discovered a voyeuristic side. Let’s not do anything you’ll regret later.”
“It’s just us here,” she said. She pulled me close and whispered in my ear, “and I’m so horny. So, either we kick Karina out right now, or in three seconds she’s going to watch me fuck you right on this couch.”
I whispered back, “But that’s not what you want her to see, is it?” Yunjin just looked at me, breathing with excitement.
I sighed, then stood and pulled Yunjin to her feet. “Karina, we’re going to the bedroom. I think Yunjin wants you to follow.”
“And you?” said Karina. “Would you be okay with that?”
“I don’t even know. It’s not like we’ve ever done anything even remotely like this. But I’ll do anything for Yunjin if it makes her happy, and I guess it is just us after all. Guess we’ll just have to see.”
I led Yunjin down the dark hallway into her bedroom, leaving the door wide. We lit the candles we always kept in her room and stripped the covers off the bed. I hugged and kissed her deeply. She was breathing heavily and looking at me with longing.
Yunjin lay on the bed and spread her knees. I got on top of her and we embraced and kissed. When I reached down, I discovered she was already completely wet. She ran her hand lovingly over my cheek.
“Do it. Please. Eat me. Make me cum.”
I slid down between her legs. Yunjin’s delightful little pussy was glistening in the candlelight, Then I felt the bed shift and beautiful, naked Karina was right beside me. I was so enraptured with Yunjin I’d forgotten she was still with us. Karina looked up at Yunjin, and then looked at me.
Her tongue wet her lips. “Show me,” she whispered.
I reached out with two fingers and stroked down along the mound of Yunjin’s clit. Yunjin moaned and pushed her hips up off the bed. I stroked her with my thumb then lightly licked her clit with just the tip of my tongue. As always, Yunjin responded so beautifully, gasping, writhing, and trying to push my face into her as I teased, licked and massaged her clit. I kept at her for several minutes, playing, doing things I knew she loved, experimenting with other things to see how she would react, bringing her to the edge and trying to keep her there without going over.
Karina had her head propped on one elbow, watching me and occasionally looking up at Yunjin squirming and panting. When I paused to keep her from going over, Yunjin looked down and reached for Karina.
“It’s so good,” she breathed, squeezing her friend’s hand.
I went back to her. This time I inserted two fingers into her little opening and started finger fucking her as I gently sucked and tongued her clit. When I raked my thumb up along her asshole, Yunjin arched her back as her tunnel started squeezing my fingers rhythmically in orgasm.
“Huuuuh,” she groaned, mashing my head to her. She never let go of her friend’s hand while her breath caught, head flung back and body rigid in orgasm. I watched, enraptured, almost coming myself seeing my wonderful girl in such bliss.
When Yunjin regained her senses, she looked down and saw Karina and me looking back at her. She turned her head and covered her eyes in embarrassment.
“Oh God,” she said. “Don’t look at me.”
“That was beautiful,” said Karina, quietly. She squeezed Yunjin’s hand. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”
At this point I was hard and in need of relief. I didn’t care if her friend was there—I needed to fuck my Yunjin.
I slid up on top of her, my dick easily finding her opening by itself, and pushed into her warmth. Yunjin wrapped an arm around me, trapped me with her legs and welcomed me. I rutted and pushed as she clung, urging me on, her tight tunnel further fueling my hunger. I pulled her legs up, placing her knees against her ears and started fucking her even deeper. There was no thought or reason then, just a blind need to possess and satisfy my lust.
Yunjin gasped, moaned, and pushed her hips up against mine, urging me on. We fucked like bunny in heat, so in love, so in lust. Then finally, I pushed into her as deep as I could and with a growl, flooded her womb with cum, blast after blast. Yunjin ground against me and moaned, eagerly accepting all I could give her.
I collapsed onto her and tried to regain my senses. We kissed and hugged, laughing, caressing, staring into each other’s eyes.
Finally, I slipped out of her and rolled off onto my back, right onto Yunjin and Karina’s outstretched arms. The two had held hands the entire time I was fucking Yunjin.
I lifted and they pulled their arms out from under me. I glanced over at Karina. She looked happy, and… hungry. It was my turn to feel embarrassed.
“Sorry,” I said. “Letting you see that wasn’t part of the deal.”
Karina said nothing. She just caressed my cheek and pressed her body against mine as she reached an arm across and hugged Yunjin and me.
Yunjin lifted her head. Exhausted, she asked, “So, did you see?”
“I saw. oh, did I ever see. It’s like some porn movie with you guys.” She paused. “Actually, it’s nothing like porn. You’re so… loving. Tender. Except for that last part. I thought he was going to break you in half.”
The three of us lay in silence as the candles cast wavering shadows around the room. Karina clung to my side, arm across my chest, head on my shoulder, while absently pushing her hips against my leg. Yunjin cuddled against my other side.
Karina started to get up. “I’ll leave you love birds alone now.”
Yunjin reached over to grasp her arm. “Stay.”
“It’s okay, Yunjin. You guys need your alone time. Besides, if I don’t get out of here right now, I’m going to jump your boyfriend.”
Yunjin gave her friend a sympathetic look then pulled my face to hers. She studied my face for a moment then whispered, “Do it to her.”
“What?” I whispered back. “Fuck your friend?”
“Lick her. She said no guy has ever made her come. You could do it… I know you could. And I know you like her.”
Yunjin seemed serious, but I said, “That’s going way too far.”
“Why? She likes you too, you know. A lot. I see it. But it’s okay. She’s my best friend.”
I still couldn’t tell if Yunjin really meant what she was saying. So I decided to test her.
I turned to face Karina. Then I looked down at her pussy, back up to her face and licked my lips, giving her a pleading, hopeful look like a puppy who’d eyed a forbidden meal.
Karina chucked. “Oh for fuck’s sake,” she laughed. Then, “No way. You can’t be serious.” She looked past me to Yunjin.
Yunjin was still holding Karina’s arm. “It’s okay,” she said.
“Let him really show you. Make you come.”
Karina looked back to me and saw my expression. I wanted to… I really am, especially now that it was clear that Yunjin was okay with it.
I stroked Karina’s cheek lovingly. She blinked, and then closed her eyes, pushing her face against my hand. After a long pause, she took a breath and lay back on the bed, pushing my head down.
“Go. Do it. But it won’t work.”
I could not believe what was happening. I slid down and positioned myself between Karina’s legs but it felt surreal. I fully expected Karina or Yunjin to change their minds at any moment. But Yunjin propped herself up to watch, her excitement visible, then nodded encouragement.
Karina was looking down at me too, mouth half-open, eyes filled with anticipation. I decided then I would try to make her come harder than she had ever come in her life.
Karina’s pussy was exquisite, a work of art. From her trimmed patch of hair to her shape, so different from Yunjin. It was a beautiful sight, and the scent of her arousal excited me even more.
I started gently with just fingers and the palm of my hand, teasing, massaging, exploring. Karina gave little gasps and moans, her hips rising and falling.
Karina sighed, “Okay. Okay. That’s… nice. Oh… oh shit. Good. That’s… ohmygod, yes do that. That’s… hunngh…” She stroked my hair and tilted her hips to give me better access as her ability to speak faded.
I started exploring and playing with determination, trying different things, trying to get a sense of what she liked best. But everything seemed to drive Karina on. She was gasping and puffing and groaning, trying to mash my face into her. I kept at her, teasing at first, then diving in insistently.
Glancing up, I saw and Yunjin right beside her, watching her friend’s face and holding her hand while Karina, eyes closed, grimaced, gasped, sighed and moaned.
I had always been able to read Yunjin’s reactions well, but Karina was like unexplored territory. I played and teased, trying things I knew Yunjin loved, trying other things just to see Karina’s reactions. When I slid two fingers inside her and curled my fingers to massage her g-spot, within minutes Karina surprised me when she froze, lifting her hips. She came with a strangled grunt, her inner walls squeezing rhythmically as she pushed my face hard into her with one hand and gripped Yunjin’s with the other. Her breathing paused as her head flung back and she writhed and arched.
I held on until Karina let out an explosive breath and her body grew limp.
When I extracted my face from between her thighs and looked up, Karina and Yunjin were looking at me — Yunjin bright-eyed and proud, Karina looking like she had run a marathon. What a rewarding sight. I lay my head on Karina’s toned tummy, staring up as her breathing was back to normal.
Then I slide lower to start on her again. Karina gasped when I licked her pussy to her clit then worked her to orgasm twice more in rapid succession. Finally, she pushed me away.
“Enough. Oh my god, stop. You’re going to kill me.”
I wiped my mouth and slid up between the two girls.
Yunjin was beaming. “That was amazing,” she said.
Karina was panting, her skin flushed and her eyes glassy. One hand toyed absently with a breast. I was rock hard, of course, and Yunjin noticed my distress. But when I indicated that I wanted to fuck her again, Yunjin pushed me towards her friend.
“Go ahead,” she whispered. “She needs that too.”
I was beyond arguing the merits of what we were doing. I rolled over onto Karina’s side.
She opened her eyes and looked at me quizzically.
“Hi,” I said. “So, was that a little better than doing it yourself?”
Karina said nothing. She just grabbed my head and kissed me. I kissed her back, stroking her hair, her face, her tits, and then her pussy lips. While we kissed, I worked myself halfway on top of her. Karina then opened her legs, I settled between them, kissing and stroking her the entire time.
Despite having come in Yunjin not long ago, I was beyond hard. I was hesitant to fuck Karina but then I felt Yunjin’s hand grasp my cock and slide me up and down her best friend’s slit then position me at Karina entrance.
Karina pushed my head away from hers and said, “Uh hey, you guys? Listen…”
Yunjin whispered in my ear, “Push.”
“Huuuhh…” Karina arched her back and spread her legs, taking me halfway inside her. I withdrew, then on the next stroke seated myself in her all the way. Karina pushed back on my chest, her mouth open and eyes wide, gurgling incoherently. I pulled out then pushed myself into her again.
“Uuuh! God!” Karina breathed. She looked at me in wide-eyed wonder then wrapped her arms around my neck. Her eyes narrowed into a needful expression then she lay back and whispered, “Oh, fuck it. Fuck me. Just… fuck me.”
Karina was tighter than Yunjin, and felt different in many other little ways. Her pussy resisted more each time I pushed in, and clung tighter when withdrew. I buried myself in her all the way and held myself there, Karina squeezed her inner muscles like she wanted to trap my cock there, nice and nestled in her depths. Then she pushed her hips back, drawing me deeper into her.
I fucked her urgently, insistently, hungrily. I tried to control the animal part of my brain, wanting it to last. That such a beautiful, delightful woman was letting me fuck her was mind-blowing. That she was Yunjin’s best friend, and I was fucking her with Yunjin’s permission was beyond incredible.
We kept at it, hard and soft, gently fornicating then giving into primal desire and rutting like starved beasts. We kissed, we embraced, we looked into each other’s eyes. Was Yunjin jealous? No. She held Karina’s hand throughout, sometimes stroking my cheek or back as I fucked her best friend. I let go of worry and focused completely on Karina’s.
Soon Karina’s movements became more desperate. I fucked her steadily, sometimes pulling out completely then pushing back and forth just inside her opening before sliding in deep. Then Karina inhaled a short gasp, wriggled against me hard and froze, clamping onto my dick as she came once more. I rammed into her once, twice, then was consumed by an eye-rolling, ball-draining orgasm, flooding the gorgeous, needful woman with everything I had left.
I stayed on top of Karina, weakened by the intensity of my orgasm, stroking her face and hair, giving her light kisses as we recovered. Then I slid over onto the bed between the girls, exhausted.
Yunjin snuggled to my side and kissed my cheek. “Thank you,” she whispered. “She really needed that.”
We rested for a while then I needed to get up to get us all water and find the bathroom. When I slid off the bed and got to my feet, I was treated to a memorable sight: my Yunjin and her very best friend flat on their backs, legs spread slightly, their pussies both leaking my cum.
During the night I woke when Yunjin climbed on top of me. The candles must have burned down — it was completely dark. I was already rock hard. My sly girl had to have been playing with me while I slept. She lined me up with her opening and slid down carefully until she fully impaled herself on my cock. She felt tighter than usual and was very wet. Yunjin let out a heavy moan of satisfaction and started riding me — her favorite position. I reached up to massage her breasts as she used me for her pleasure. They were warm, firm and way, way too large. It wasn’t Yunjin. It was Karina.
Karina slid her herself up and down, back and forth, milking my cock, taking her time. I massaged her incredible breasts, resigned to let her do what she needed. In the utter darkness, it was impossible to tell how long we went at it, but near the end I grabbed her waist and rolled Karina onto her back to take her hard. She held me tight, gasping and rutting as I fucked her until once again, I pumped her full of cum. We kissed tenderly until exhaustion overtook me.
I rolled off Karina and lay between the two girls. I held Karina’s hand and reached over to rest my other hand on Yunjin’s sleeping form. In the morning we would need to come to terms with what we had done. But there in the middle of the night, the three of us lay together as friends and lovers and, for that moment at least, we were content.
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“Hon, wake up. Karina’s gone.”
Yunjin awoke and stretched, the bed sheet falling to expose her lovely breast.
“Uh? Gone? Where’d she go?”
“She was gone when I woke up.”
Yunjin yawned, trying to clear her head. Then she covered her eyes and groaned.
“Oh no. What did we do?”
I touched her arm. “We got a little carried away.”
“I’ll say. Letting you sleep with my best friend, letting her watch us… what were we thinking?”
Yunjin groaned again. “And she left? That’s bad. She’s probably so embarrassed.”
“Somehow I don’t think Karina gets embarrassed that easily.”
“Oh, you don’t know her. We’ve been friends forever. She’s outgoing, but she’s no slut.”
“I didn’t mean she was. We all just got… carried away, like you said. So should we talk to her?”
“It’s better if I talk to her first. Alone.”
“If you say so, but Yunjin, how are you feeling about it?”
Yunjin stared at the ceiling. “I don’t know. I should be horrified, right? But I think I’m okay. I never thought we’d ever do anything like that, but it went so naturally. It seemed right.”
“I thought you’d need a lot more time to think about what we did.”
“I thought about it last night… after you and Karina fucked the second time.”
“You were awake? Uh, I was going to tell you about that…”
“I know. You screwed her a second time.”
“Actually, it was more like she screwed me. When I woke up Karina was already on top of me.”
“And I bet you fought really hard to push her off too,” said Yunjin, nudging me.
“I… at first I thought it was you! Honestly. I couldn’t see anything, and you wake me up like that often enough.”
“You thought it was me? Oh, that’s so sweet! But then you realized it was Karina and…”
“…and I couldn’t stop her. I… to be honest, didn’t really want to, either. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to be sorry. I mean, I practically pushed you on her the first time. I think that means you had permission last night.”
“So you just lay there and let us do it?”
“Uh huh. Pretty hard to sleep with you two shaking the bed grunting, moaning. And well… it turned me on.”
“Oh, did it?”
Yunjin blushed. “Yeah. Don’t know why, but the thought of you making Karina feel as good as you make me feel… it’s exciting. And last night was special. She hadn’t been with anyone for so long. And she has a little crush on you, you know. I’m glad we made her happy.”
“Happy is not exactly the word I’d use. So, what does this mean?”
“What?”
“I mean, you’re okay with me sleeping with other women now? I can hit the bars and sleep with anyone I want?”
Yunjin wrinkled her nose. “Gross! No, of course not.”
“Then what, Yunjin?”
She considered. “Well, Karina’s my best friend. You’re my boyfriend. Last night was just between us.”
“So, if I slept with anyone else…”
“I’d cut your dicks off and leave you to bleed out...”
“Yunjin!”
“I’m not sharing you with just anyone. You’re the only good guy I’ve ever found. But Karina… well, we’ve always told each other everything, shared everything.” She paused. “Last night we just went too far. But it’s not like it will ever happen again. She just needed some attention.”
“I think I get it,” I said. “But look, I’ve got this good friend who’s always wanted to screw you…”
Yunjin gasped. “I’m not sleeping with any of your friends!”
“Good. And I don’t want you to. So we’re clear: you were okay ‘sharing’ me with your best friend, but I’m not okay sharing you at all. You’re mine, okay?”
“Okay,” said Yunjin, and kissed me. “I want to be yours. I don’t need anyone else. Besides, it was just one night. Oh! I’d better call her.”
Yunjin found her phone. “She’s not answering. And she’s offline. Oh! We slept in. I’ll be late for yoga. I’ll talk to Karina there.”
“You never told me Karina was in your yoga class.”
“It took a lot of persuading, but I got her to sign up. Look, why don’t you go home? Clean up, get a change of clothes. Can you come back later for dinner?”
I hugged her. “Of course. It’s Saturday. Where else would I be but with you?”
As I walked to my apartment building, my thoughts were on Karina. The first time I saw her, I wanted her, but she had that effect on everyone; a beauty with almost supermodel looks. Someone like her could never be interested in an ordinary guy like me. My quiet world would bore her to death.
How wrong I was. Karina admitted she would have given me a chance; Even I could hardly believe it. She seemed to have developed a thing for me since Yunjin had been telling her everything we did. Images from last night filled my head: Karina getting naked with us, showering with us, watching me with Yunjin, letting me eat her and fuck her… it was all I could think about.
When I walked into the lobby of my apartment, Karina was waiting.
“Uh, hi, What’s up? How did you know where I live?”
“Yunjin’s pointed out your building to me once. And your name’s on the directory. Can we talk?”
We rode the elevator in silence. Karina avoided my eyes.
“Apologize for the mess,” I said, Letting her inside.
“Guys are all alike. You all need a maid. Or a mother.”
“Karina, have you talked to Yunjin? You just disappeared this morning. She’s worried. She was going to meet you at yoga.”
“Oh, yoga. I forgot. Why do I let her talk me into those things?” Karina looked at her phone. “Yeah, she’s left, like, a million messages.” She started sifting through the texts and voice mail.
“Look, call her. She’s probably not at her class yet. I need to grab a shower… I still haven’t cleaned up from last night. Make yourself at home.”
Karina nodded as she thumbed Yunjin’s number.
In the shower, I tried to think. What was Karina doing here? Why did she just leave Yunjin’s place without a goodbye? While I was deep in thought, The shower curtain opened and a very naked Karina stepped inside.
“Karina! What the hell?”
She put her arms around me. “Yunjin didn’t answer. I haven’t had time to clean up either. Wash my back?” She smiled mischievously.
Last night, the shower with Yunjin and Karina was playful and erotic. This time it was just awkward. I soaped her up, unsure and hesitant. I admired every inch of her body as she closed her eyes to rinse.
Karina cleaned me and spent a few moments fondling me with soapy hands while she watched my face. My body couldn’t react. It felt… wrong.
We dried off, but when I went to find clothes, Karina stopped me.
“Can we just stay naked for now? I really liked it last night, Like you said, it makes being open a lot easier, somehow.”
“Uh, sure, Karina. You know I’m comfortable with it. If you are.”
Naked, she led me back to the living room and We sat on the couch.
“So, anyway, about last night…”
I interrupted. “Yunjin said says she’s fine with everything that happened.”
“Are you sure? I was certain she’d gonna need a therapy.”
“Yeah, I was worried too. But she doesn’t freak out about sex anymore. She said last night was a special thing, just between the three of us.”
“She’s come a long way. You really saved her, you know.”
“Yunjin saved herself. I just let her be who she needed to be, without judgment. And maybe encouraged her a little.”
Karina hugged me and looked into my eyes. Her expression was strange. Scared. To break the awkwardness, I asked, “So how do you feel about last nights? Don’t tell me you’ve never done a threesome before.”
“No, that was a first for me.”
“Why did you leave?”
Karina was silent, “When I woke up you two were all cuddled up together. I felt awkward, and I wasn’t sure whether Yunjin would freak out. So, I slipped out.” She said.
“So, no regrets?”
“Uh, I dunno. Maybe.” She paused. “I’m not on the pill.”
“What? Why don’t you tell me that?”
“I haven’t had a steady guy for a while. So I stopped taking it. It gives me trouble.”
“But last night… I came in you. Twice!”
“I know! I tried to say something… tried to stop you, but then you were in me and it had been so long. You were so good, and it was so hot… doing it with Yunjin like that. With her boyfriend. I planned to just let you do it for a while then get you to pull out, but when we really got going, well, I wasn’t exactly thinking. Later, I woke up and you were all naked and warm beside me and… well, you know. I don’t think I was even fully awake that second time.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “You should have said something. I could have stopped. But, I wasn’t thinking clearly either. When you let me… well, it was a dream come true.”
“Seriously?”
“I’ve been fantasized about you. But last night, I never asked you if it was okay… you know… to come in you. I should have made sure. I shouldn’t have assumed. I’m sorry.”
Karina rested her head against my shoulder.
“Anyway, shouldn’t we find a drugstore?”
“That Plan B or whatever?” said Karina. “That’s the thing. I can’t. I took it once, and it made me sick as hell. The doctor said that might be why I always had such trouble with the pill. The same stuff is in both, only more.”
“Oh. Well, it’s probably okay. When Yunjin and I did it when we were camping it turned out okay. It was just the right time in her cycle. We got lucky.”
We used my phone to find an ovulation calculator and entered Karina’s details.
“Oh, damn it, If this is right, I’m ovulating today. The worst possible time. Guess that’s why I was so horny, huh?”
“It’ll be all right.” I said, unsure what to say.
“Bullshit! I can’t have a kid. I can barely take care of myself. And my job…”
“It was both our fault. You’re not alone. If it happens, and whatever you decide, Karina, I’m with you, okay?”
She looked at me with derision. “You’re going to ‘do the honourable thing’? A woman can take care of herself, you know.”
“Of course. I just, I mean, I’m not going to take off on you. I’ll do everything I can.” I smiled, “You know… paint the baby’s room, fetch you pickles and ice cream, feed you ice chips during the delivery…”
Karina gasped and shoved me away but she smiled a little.
“You total asshole! That’s not funny!”
“I’m serious, though. I’m with you through this. We have to tell Yunjin.”
“No way. If she finds out I fucked you without protection, she’ll kill me then she’ll kills herself. You know how she is. She doesn’t need to worry along with us.”
“It’s not right to keep this from her. But yeah… it would completely stress her out. I guess we can wait until, we’re sure.”
Karina hugged me for a long time. She pulled back to look at me with damp eyes. “It would be better if you were an asshole, you know. Then I could get mad. I meet the only good guy in the entire city, and I give him away to Yunjin.”
“That’s nice of you to say, but let’s be real. I’m nothing much. I’m not rich, and only slightly handsome…”
Karina made a face.
“…so what’s the big deal? You’re gorgeous. You can have any guy you want.”
“Yeah, and you know how well that’s worked out for me. Yunjin told me everything you’ve done for her. I mean, she’s so happy now that she’s with you! It’s hard not to be jealous.” Karina leaned in and kissed me. “You transformed her, you know. Maybe you could transform me.”
“If you’re pregnant, you’ll be transformed all right.”
Karina pulled me close, her warm breasts pressing into me. “So, you fantasized about me, huh?”
“Uh, of course, Karina. You’re beautiful. Fun. A little wild. You’re completely sexy. You know that.”
“I really liked last night, you know. Being with you. And I don’t think I’ve ever cum so hard in my life. Or so many times.”
Karina guided my hand to her breast and kissed me. Soon we were running our hands over each other, and she pulled me down until I was lying on her on the couch. She spread her legs and I could feel her wet folds against my dick.
“Fuck me again,” she said, an eager, hopeful look in her eyes.
“Fuck me hard. Just don’t cum in me, okay?”
She was so brazen, so sexy. My heart was pounding at the thought of taking her again. Yunjin would be disappointed she wasn’t there to watch us, I thought. It got her so hot the previous night. Maybe I should call her so she can come over.
Karina reached down to guide my cock, but I was soft. She stroked it a few times and rubbed my cock along her wet slit, but there was no response. Even I couldn’t believe it. Karina, alone in my apartment, eager for me to fuck her and I wasn’t hard?
“Did we wear you out last night?” Karina asked with a wry smile
I rolled off her. “No. Just give me a minute.”
Karina scooted down and began to lick my cock, all around the head and occasionally sucking into her mouth, all while keeping an eye contact. She alternated between stroking my soft member, licking the head then caressing my balls.
That should have been more than enough. The sight of her working away, looking up with that mischievous expression, eager to get me hard should have caused a powerful reaction. Instead — nothing.
It occurred to me then, that maybe, Yunjin wouldn’t be okay with what we were doing right now. I stroked Karina’s head and pushed her off me.
“Karina, Let’s just stop this.”
Frustrated, she went back to working on my cock. She was skilled and knew all the tricks that would normally get any man hard in minutes, but it wasn’t working.
She stopped and rested her head on my thigh.
“Didn’t that feel good?”
“It felt wonderful, but I don’t know… this doesn’t seem right.”
Karina was quiet for a moment.
“Were you thinking of Yunjin just now?”
“Well, sure. Not just now, I always think of Yunjin.”
Karina considered that. “Always think of her, huh?”
We sat up.
“I wonder,” she said, idly reaching over to fondle me. “Did you ever consider you’re in love?”
“Huh? I like you, Karina, but I don’t know you well enough for that.”
“Oh, for f…” She whacked my head. “Guys are so clueless. Not with me! With Yunjin.”
“What? I mean, Yunjin’s wonderful, but it’s way too soon for anything like that… isn’t it?”
“Is it? I’ve seen how you two are together. Picture this: what if Yunjin was here right now, beside us like last night, naked, her hand guiding you into me, asking you to fuck me, and holding my hand while she watched us fuck each other like animals?”
More images from last night returned. It was so exciting having Yunjin watch, not just accepting me fucking her best friend, but actively encouraging us. I started getting hard.
Karina noticed. “Ah… someone likes having threesomes with his girlfriend. So Naughty! So if she was here, you’d be fine. I think even if you just had her permission to be with me, you’d be okay. But you can’t go behind her back, can you? Because it might hurt her. And you can’t hurt someone you love.”
I thought about that. It was all new. I didn’t know the first thing about it, Love.
“We were so good together last night. We had a real connection, didn’t we? I came here thinking that maybe you might like to be with me instead of Yunjin. Especially if… you know, you’ve knocked me up.”
“Uh…”
Karina sighed. “I guess I was only thinking about myself again. I should have seen it… it’s obvious now.” She forced a smile. ‘You’re right. We can’t be doing this. I’m sorry for tempting you.’ She took a breath and stood. “I’d better get home. And you, big guy, need to get back to Yunjin. And tell her you love her. Because I’m pretty sure you do.”
As I sat there and thought for a while, Karina dressed. She kissed my cheek and let herself out.
It was getting dark when I returned to Yunjin’s apartment.
“Why are you dressed?” I said when I walked in.
“Hope you don’t mind, but I invited Karina over to eat with us again. I think we all should talk together.”
“Oh, so you… talked to her? What did she say?”
“Not much. She wasn’t at yoga, but I got hold of her later. She says she’s fine with what we did… she was more worried about me. But something’s wrong. I could hear it.”
So Karina had not told Yunjin about our afternoon together, or about her possibly being pregnant. I decided that even if Karina didn’t want to, we had to tell Yunjin.
When Karina arrived, she said, “What’s this? You’re not running around naked?”
“We don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
Karina grimaced. “Guys, it’s your place. You kids like prancing around in the buff, go ahead… it’s not like I didn’t see it all last night.”
“You sure?”
“Go ahead, guys. Besides, I’ve started to enjoy it.”
I looked at Yunjin and she shrugged, so I moved behind her. Kissing her neck, I pulled off her top, then kissed and nibbled her exposed shoulders. I held her breasts when I released her bra. Freeing her from her jeans, I stroked her tummy and squeezed her ass, then just wrapped my arms around her from behind, enjoying the feel of her. When it was her turn, Yunjin gave me a similar treatment undressing me.
When we were both naked, we glanced at Karina. She had a wistful expression.
“Oh wow, does he always undress you like that?” she said.
Yunjin stroked my cheek. “Most of the time. Sometimes I get dressed just so he can undress me again.”
“You… uh, is it all right if I get naked too?”
“If you’re okay with it, go ahead,” said Yunjin.
“Can… can he do it?”
I looked at Yunjin. She smirked and nodded.
I stepped behind Karina and began stripping her, kissing her shoulders and neck, slowly removing one thing at a time. When I crouched to lower her pants, I kissed her flat tummy that, for all we knew, held the beginnings of our child. The thought was frightening but exciting too.
When I stood up, Karina hugged me, resting her head on me. Her warm body and breasts caused me to stir.
We dimmed the lights and lit candles to make Karina more comfortable, and we sat, ate and chatted.
Karina seemed nervous, but I felt sick. I couldn’t stand it. Looking over at Karina I said “Yunjin, there might be a problem about last night…”
I told her about Karina’s visit that afternoon and the chance she might be pregnant. Yunjin listened in stony silence. When I finished, Yunjin fixed Karina with a cold stare.
“You let him fuck you without protection. Then went to see him. Behind my back. And tried to fuck him again?”
Karina looked stricken. “It wasn’t exactly like that… I wasn’t…” She trailed off, searching for a response.
The room seemed chilly as Yunjin glowered at her friend.
Karina said, “It was so good last night. There was a spark there… with him. I’m sure there was. I thought… look, I don’t know. When there’s magic with a guy, I go after him. You know me. I was excited. I didn’t even think about you. It was selfish, I know.”
Yunjin turned her attention to me. Her mouth was tight.
“And you? What the hell were you thinking?
“Yeah,” I said, “I guess I wasn’t. But we didn’t do anything.”
“You sure tried, said Yunjin. She paused, and then stood up, gathered my clothes and Karina’s into her arms in one big bundle, opened her apartment door and tossed it all into the hallway.
“Get out,” she said calmly.
“Yunjin, let’s talk about…”
“Both of you get the fuck out! NOW!”
Karina started crying and ran out to gather her clothes. Yunjin shoved me outside and slammed the door, bolting it behind us.
Karina knocked and tried the doorknob. “Yunjin! Come on!”
From behind the door, Yunjin yell, “Go away! Go fuck your new boyfriend.”
Karina and I scrambled to pull on our clothes. Luckily, none of Yunjin’s neighbors were around. I heard Yunjin crying and stomp to her bedroom.
We knocked and pleaded, but Yunjin ignored us.
Karina dried her eyes. “So, ‘new boyfriend’… your place or mine?”
We were devastated, we had hurt Yunjin. We needed a plan. My apartment was close, so we went there to think what to do. When I got in the door, I automatically stripped off my clothes, before it occurred to me to leave them on. Karina hesitated then stripped too. Oh well.
We sat beside each other, staring at the floor.
“I always fuck things up,” she sniffled. “What are we going to do?”
We talked, thinking how to apologize, how to undo the damage and regain Yunjin’s trust. I began to understand why threesomes in a serious relationship rarely worked.
Karina cried a little more so I held her. Her warm breasts against me felt wonderful as always.
“Can I stay with you tonight?”
I looked at her, incredulous. “You have got to be kidding.”
“Just to cuddle! That’s all. I don’t want to be alone after all this. Tomorrow we can go see Yunjin and patch things up.”
Sleeping with Karina in my own bed sounded wonderful. It also sounded like another betrayal. I doubted we could stop at cuddling. Before I could refuse, there was tapping at my door. Yunjin let herself in with the key I had given her weeks before.
“Returned to the scene of the crime, huh?” Yunjin said when she saw us together on the couch.
I went to her. “How’d you know we’d be here?”
“I know you. And I know Karina. Of course you’d go to your place to talk.”
“And that’s all we were doing, Yunjin.”
“I know. Is it okay if I join you?”
Yunjin stripped off her clothes and pulled us into a three-way hug.
“I’m sorry I blew up, guys,” she said. “That was childish.”
Karina’s eyes were damp. “I’m sorry too, I didn’t mean to…”
Yunjin shushed her and turned to me. “Can I borrow your bedroom? I need to yell at Karina in private for a while.”
“This involves me too, Yunjin.”
“I don’t blame you… as much. Just wait here, okay?”
Yunjin pulled Karina down the hall to my bedroom and closed the door. I figured it was best for them to have it out in private. They had been friends a long time, and I had confidence in Yunjin. Her parents had poisonous beliefs about sex, but to their credit, they also believed in forgiveness and practiced it. Yunjin had inherited that trait.
I listened to Yunjin yell at Karina from behind the bedroom door. That was followed by mutual sobs and then low murmurs. Finally, I heard a few giggles.
When all was quiet, I knocked on the door.
Yunjin stepped out. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “She’ll be okay.” Karina sat on the edge of the bed, huddled with arms crossed over her knees.
Yunjin and I returned to the living room.
“She’s okay?” I asked. “How are you, Yunjin?”
She shrugged and nodded. “Am I okay, she might have let my boyfriend impregnate her? No, I’m still a little pissed off about that. And you! What the hell were you thinking this afternoon?”
“Yeah, I feel terrible. At first, I was excited… like a continuation of last night. I thought how much you’d want to watch us, then it registered we shouldn’t have been doing anything without you. I’m sorry.”
Yunjin shook her head. “Guys… always thinking with their little head first.” She looked at me slyly and then said, “She told me you couldn’t get it up for her.”
“Oh, great,” I groaned.
“…because you were worried I’d be hurt.” She pecked my cheek. “Still, don’t ever do that again.”
I nodded and hugged her tight. Yunjin was a wonder. A weaker woman would have thrown me and Karina out and never talked to us again.
“So, are you and Karina okay now?”
“I’m not happy, but I can forgive her.”
“Seriously?”
She sighed. “Well, we can’t blame her for last night, can we? I mean, I urged you on her. Even put your dick inside her. I was so excited, I didn’t even ask if it was okay. She should have stopped us, but I remember the first time we went camping. We were just as weak then as she was last night.”
I forced a smile.
Yunjin took my hand. “Listen… Karina’s parent split up when she was little. It was ugly, and life for her was… chaotic… for a long time. Her mom moved a lot. Lots of money problems. I think that’s part of why she keeps running off with rich guys. She wants to be secure, not have to worry.”
“I had no idea.”
“So, she gets a little needy. But that’s fine. I like being there for her. And she’s always been there for me. Always. But right now, she’s terrified to wind up a single mother like her mom — struggling and alone.”
“She won’t be alone,” I said. “She has us.”
Yunjin’s eyes searched mine. “Us?”
“Well, of course. We’ll be there for her… we’ll deal with this together, right?”
“So, you… you wouldn’t want to just be with Karina?”
“What? Yunjin, I’m not going to leave you.”
Yunjin’s eyes became misty. “I’m happy to hear that.”
“I can’t leave you. You’re everything to me.” I paused. “Though Karina does have bigger boobs.”
Yunjin pushed me away, only to see my grin. “You’re a dick,” she smiled.
I pretended to think about it more. “Hmm… no, it could never work without you. I’d need you to change diapers. I wouldn’t be able to handle that at all.”
When Karina walked into the living room, Yunjin was hitting me hard with a cushion.
“No, that’s not how you do it. You need something hard. Let me get a frying pan or a baseball bat. We can take turns.” Karina said.
While fending off Yunjin’s blows, I saw Karina’s eyes were red but otherwise she looked okay. Better than okay, since she was still naked. If Karina would be hanging around us, I would have to curb my habit of gawking whenever I saw her without clothes.
“So,” said Karina, “when Yunjin’s done beating you, got any dessert? I could use a sugar rush right now. But if it’s chocolate fondue again, I’m leaving.”
All we had were cookies, the cheap crumbly ones you get in a bag from the store. The three of us sat beside each other on the couch and talked.
I offered to clean up crumbs that had fallen on Karina’s boobs, and she sweetly informed me where she’d stuff her cookie if I tried. Yunjin found that particularly funny.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this again.” Yunjin said.
“Doing what?”
“Sitting here naked, joking around.”
Karina nodded. “It’s nice. But feel free to leave if you have somewhere to go. Your boyfriend owes me a good fucking after leaving me all hot and bothered this afternoon.”
Yunjin’s face was the picture of shock.
“God, I’m kidding! After what we’ve been through, if he brings his dick near me again, I’ll cut it off.”
“Yeah?” I said, “Well, you keep that ravenous pussy of yours away from me or I’ll staple it shut.”
Once we stopped laughing, Karina said, “Oh! Yunjin, speaking of getting knocked up, I saw… you know, Mr. Nice Guy. He drove past me on my way to your place. I don’t think he saw me, though.”
“Mr. Nice Guy?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah!” said Yunjin, “Tell him about that guy!”
Karina sat back and said, “I went out with him a couple years ago. He was pretty rich. Great car, great condo, great hair, shitty taste in clothes. I should have known from the start that he was just another asshole looking for arm candy.”
“C’mon, tell him!” Yunjin said.
“He flew me to Paris,” said Karina.
“Really?” I said. “I guess he WAS rich.”
“Well, it wasn’t a private jet, but still. For a long weekend. Of course, I’d never been there, so I was like a little girl taking it all in. We stayed at a fancy hotel, walked around, saw the Louvre, Napoleon’s tomb, all that stuff. Then at night, we walked to the Eiffel tower. It was all lit up. Just incredible.”
“And…” prompted Yunjin.
“Oh, well in Paris people are making out everywhere. At the cafes, kissing on the street, everywhere. There’s a big park on the way to the Tower. While we were walking through it, couples were screwing on the park benches.”
“No way.”
“Yes! One couple, the girl was sitting in the guy’s lap, facing him. She was wearing a skirt, so they weren’t naked or anything, but it was obvious what was happening. We walked right by them on the path.”
“The City of Love, huh?” I said.
“Another couple was even more obvious. She was bent over the bench; he was behind. Even with just the streetlamps, it wasn’t subtle. Mr. Nice Guy told me in France it’s normal for everyone to have a lover. You’re married, and it’s just accepted you’ll also have someone on the side. Part of the culture I guess, don’t know if that’s really true.”
Beside me, Yunjin was squirming a little. Was this getting her turned on?
“I need to move to Paris,” I said. I expected a slap in the arm from Yunjin, but she looked lost in Karina’s story.
I could see Yunjin was really squirming and breathing hard, her chest flushed and breasts rising and falling. That gave me an idea. I whispered to Karina, then stood up and took some plates back to the kitchen.
When I came back, Karina had stood and moved behind the couch. We exchanged a look then she grabbed Yunjin’s wrists, pulling her arms up behind her head.
“Hey!” exclaimed Yunjin.
Karina held Yunjin’s arms tightly and twisted, forcing her to turn until she faced backwards on the couch towards Karina, knees on the seat. Yunjin’s lovely ass and wide hips looked delicious as I approached from behind.
I crouched over her and whispered, “Did that story turn you on? Would you like to be the one fucked across a park bench while people walk by?” I fondled one of her hanging breast and toyed with her pussy. Yunjin was soaked.
Yunjin hesitated then whispered, “Yes.”
I was hard by now. I said, “One day I’ll do that to you. But for now…”
I buried my dick in her with one slow stroke.
“Aaaahh,” Yunjin moaned, lifting her head and arching her back to receive my cock. Karina held her tightly to the couch and grinned at me.
I grasped Yunjin’s hips and started fucking her slowly. Each time I bottomed out, Yunjin grunted and pushed her ass back. She rested her head on the back of the couch and held on to her friend as I fuck her.
Soon I was fucking Yunjin steadily, losing myself in the sensations of her warm, tight pussy, the sight of her shapely ass and back, and the sound of her little gasps and grunts of pleasure. Each time I pressed forward it also caused Karina’s large breasts to sway a little as she eagerly watched us fuck.
Soon Yunjin so lost in lust that Karina released her arms. Yunjin held the back of the couch in languid submission, letting herself to be taken.
I was so immersed with Yunjin that I didn’t notice Karina moving to join her friend on the couch. She got on her knees beside Yunjin then waggled her ass, looking back at me with raised eyebrows.
I pulled myself from Yunjin. She raised her head as she felt me withdraw, awareness returning from her lust-induced stupor enough to realize her best friend was now beside her. I tentatively positioned myself behind Karina and looked at Yunjin expectantly.
She nodded. “Just be careful.”
Karina smiled then pushed her ass back, sinking me into her tight pussy halfway. I gripped her hips and drove the rest of the way in myself.
“No problem getting hard now, is there big guy?” she breathed, eyes lidded.
I took Karina firmly, holding her hips, and, despite the risk, tried to get as deep inside as possible. Yunjin kept her position, watching us, breathing with excitement. I loved how much it turned her on.
When I felt the urge to come rising, I pulled out and pushed back into Yunjin, fucking her again with determined, forceful strokes.
I alternated between Yunjin and Karina several times, careful to withdraw from Karina each time the need to come rose. In the end, I was fucking Karina with abandon as she huffed and grunted, pushing her ass back to match my strokes. When I reach under her to tantalize her clit with two fingers across her clit, she stiffened, and in a few moments gave a short gasp, and she came.
I stayed inside her as long as I dared, then pulled out to plunge balls-deep into Yunjin.
“Ah… God!” she exclaimed. I gave her several more strokes before unloading into her welcoming pussy.
I stayed mated to Yunjin, savoring the afterglow and the sight of the women presented before me. I leaned over to kiss Karina’s shoulder and cup one of her breast, and then did the same to Yunjin.
The girls turned around, and I sat between them, hugging them to my sides.
“I didn’t think we’d do this again,” said Yunjin, resting her head on my shoulder. “Is this going to be a regular thing?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “What if it is?”
Yunjin looked over at her friend. “Karina, are you okay?”
Karina was flushed and a little out of breath. “I have no complaints if you don’t.”
We talked a little longer until I yawned, causing the girls to yawn too. It was nearly midnight.
Yunjin stood and stretched, her body lovely in the candlelight. “I need to get home. Some people kept me up really late last night.”
Karina looked uncertain. I didn’t want her to leave, and a glance at Yunjin told me she didn’t either.
“Karina, can you stay with us tonight?” I said. “Just to sleep, I mean.”
Karina nodded, so Yunjin and I led her to the bedroom.
We put Karina in the middle of the bed this time and both of us cuddled against her sides. Karina pulled my hand to her boob, so I lightly squeezed and caressed it.
Karina kissed me and said, “Hold me?” I nodded, and she rolled to her side to face Yunjin. I spooned behind her and embraced her from behind, a hand on each breast. She looked back to caress my face then turned to Yunjin. The two of them talked in low whispers. I couldn’t make out what they were saying and was too tired to care. Soon I was dead asleep.
-
When I awoke it was dark and I was facing Yunjin with Karina was snoring softly behind me. Yunjin looked so lovely as she slept. I had to have her again. I ran my hand over her body and nuzzled her neck. Slowly she started to respond.
We made love, gentle and slow, embracing each other, kissing, neither of us needing to rush.
It was different this time. There was just enough light for me to see her and we gazed into each other’s eyes. Despite what Karina and I had done, Yunjin still wanted me and forgave us. It occurred to me that it wasn’t because she was some doormat who accepted anything, but because she had gained strength from her own struggles with lust and inhibition.
She whispered, “If Karina has a baby, it’ll need a friend.”
That got my attention. “What do you mean?”
“If she’s pregnant, will you knock me up too?”
“That’s not funny, Yunjin.”
She locked her legs around me as I eased in and out of her slowly.
“I’m not joking. I want to do this with you for real. No protection. As often as we can until I’m uh… carrying… uh… your child… uh… hey, be gentle. Make this… uh… last.”
I couldn’t help but push into her forcefully as she said those things. I tried to calm down. I whispered, “Where did this come from, Yunjin? Why would you want that?”
She kissed me. “Because I love you, silly. And you haven’t said it, but I’m pretty sure you love me.”
To our relief, Karina did not get pregnant. She immediately found birth control that worked for her and continued to join Yunjin and me, sharing our bed most weekends and sometimes through the week.
The scare was harrowing, but it brought the three of us closer. There were no more secrets, more trust, and more fun. The three of us started doing everything together: hang out, watch shows, cook, and travel. Except I refused to join the girl’s yoga class.
Like anything, nudity becomes routine once you’re used to it, but I still caught myself staring at the girls in admiration. I was no model, but Karina, always brash, liked to comment on my ass, chest or dick. Yunjin was more reserved, but I knew she enjoyed seeing me on display too.
Occasionally I would get an erection that refused to fade, so either Karina or Yunjin would volunteer to “take care of me.” Likewise, one of the girls would get horny for no reason and need my help. This always turned into an extended period in bed or on the living room floor.
We made up the rules as we went. Yunjin was happy to let Karina and I fuck anytime, but she preferred to be there to watch. Sometimes she needed me afterwards too. No matter how drained Karina left me, I somehow found renewed energy for my lovely Yunjin.
Karina kept up her wild lifestyle. Sometimes she met a new guy and disappeared, but she always gravitated back to us after a few weeks with bitter stories of the latest asshole and laments of “why can’t I just find a guy like you?”
One Sunday morning as the three of us lay in bed, Yunjin said, “We should all just move in together.”
Karina snorted. “Three people in a one-bedroom apartment? We’d go nuts.”
“We could find another place. None of us make much money, but together I think we could buy a house. Even without Karina’s income, we could afford something better.”
Karina and I both looked at her.
“A house?” I asked. “That’s a big step.”
“Is it?” said Yunjin. “You’re still hoping to find someone better than me and Karina? Run off with another girl… or three?”
The thought of being without Yunjin made me feel ill. I couldn’t imagine being without Karina, either. “You know I’m not going anywhere,” I said. “I love you, remember?”
She kissed me. “And I love you. And Karina. Though I’d love her a lot more if she’d stop running away every time she thinks she’s found prince charming.”
“What’s wrong with wanting a guy all to myself?” Karina said.
“Nothing. Though remember your goldfish? Full-time boyfriends take even more care and feeding… even after you’ve got them trained.” She patted my arm in mock condescension.
“Hey,” I said, “So I’m a goldfish to you now?”
“Mmm, no. More like a puppy.”
“Yeah… a pussy hound,” added Karina.
“Karina!” we both exclaimed. I hit her with a pillow.
“I have to admit, I’m never at my place anymore. We could just get a two bedroom somewhere.” Karina said.
“That was my first thought,” said Yunjin. “But have you seen the rent in the city lately? It’s crazy. I did the numbers and it would be cheaper to get a house. Nothing fancy. Maybe some place outside of town.”
“That’s an idea. An old farmhouse with some land. Privacy to walk around outside nude. Fuck on the lawn.” I said,
This time, Karina hit me with the pillow. “See? That’s all he thinks about.”
We found an old house, set back from the road in the trees. The privacy and large yards was perfect for three full-time nudists to play and bask in the sun when we wanted.
When we took possession, the three of us drove out together.
“Never thought we’d own an actual house,” Yunjin said. She held the keys with reverence.
When we got out of the car, we noticed the silence. No traffic, no sirens… just birds and the breeze through the surrounding woods.
“All right!” Karina exclaimed, “Let’s make ourselves at home!” She stripped off her clothes and threw them on the front yard. Yunjin did the same, and both ran for the back.
“Hey! Wait!” I shouted, but they had already rounded the corner. I heard screams. When I got there, Karina and Yunjin stood trying to cover themselves while the two electricians we had hired to install an outside outlet watched and grinned.
The girls fled.
“Sorry about that, guys. They’re just a little excited about finally moving in.” I said.
“Perfectly all right,” said the older electrician. “It’s your home. Say, if you can get them to come back and just… I dunno… stand there, maybe we can put a discount on your bill.”
Once the electricians had left, the three of us lay on the grass of the backyard, naked under the sun, enjoying the freedom of our own property.
“It’s so quiet,” said Yunjin.
“Too quiet,” said Karina, sharing a look with her friend.
Before I knew what was happening, Yunjin had scooted down and take my cock into her mouth while Karina kissed me then lowered her pussy onto my face. I wound up fucking one, then the other, and then the three of us lay back on the grass to recover, naked under the early summer sun.
The house needed work. We watched videos and borrowed books about painting, drywall, carpentry and maintaining a septic tank. Karina enjoyed painting, which I loathed. Yunjin found furniture and took charge organizing. None of us knew what we were doing, but as we learned we became even closer friends and lovers.
Though Karina had her own bedroom, we usually all slept together. Some nights Karina needed me all to herself, so I spent the night alone with her and we exhausted ourselves.
Karina still went into town to party, and ran off with some guy for months after we moved in. A week later she returned, more upset than usual. She never told us what happened, but she needed attention from Yunjin and me for weeks afterward.
The permanence of having our own house, and having two people who cared for her, seemed to calm Karina. She was happier, though still a little wild. She partied in town less and less and, best of all, never ran off again.
Soon the three of us realized that our odd three-way relationship was stable. We lived in near harmony, sharing the household duties and finances like we shared a bed each night.
I never saw jealousy between my two wonderful women, but life in the house wasn’t perfect. We had squabbles about money and petty things.
One evening Karina stood in front of me while I was watching TV and said, “underwear and socks are not home decor, you know. Can you take them to your room when you get home, instead of just leaving them everywhere?”
“Well, toenail clippings and pubic hair aren’t either,” I retorted, referring to Karina’s habit of grooming her feet and bush while she watched TV.
“Ass,” she said, playfully.
“Slut,”
Karina attacked me. We wound up wrestling. Karina was agile. Often our matches ended with her astride my neck, pinning me down and shoving her pussy in my face. Or, she would have her legs hooked around my waist, shoving her boobs into my mouth.
That time, however, I dominated and forced my hard cock between her legs.
“Don’t you dare,” she said, looking down at my dick.
When Yunjin heard the commotion, she strolled into the living room to watch. She loved watching Karina and me fuck almost as much as she loved getting fucked herself.
“Yunjin!” said Karina, struggling to throw me off, “Help!”
“Okay,” said Yunjin. She crouched and pinned Karina’s arms above her head.
“Help ME, not him… ohhhhh.”
Karina groaned as I pushed my cock into her love tunnel. But then she stopped struggling and spread her legs wide, letting me take her.
Yunjin held Karina’s arms, breathing with excitement and lovingly stroking Karina’s hair while I fucked her on our living room floor.
It was our favorite way of making up.
Yunjin started talking about kids again. If we were in the city and saw a baby, she would stop to make a fuss. Once we walked by a playground and she insisted on watching the antics of the toddlers until their caretakers started looking at with unease.
“You should do it, Yunjin,” said Karina one Saturday as we sunned ourselves naked in the yard. “Let him knock you up.”
“So should you,” said Yunjin.
Karina snorted. “I can barely take care of myself.”
“Wouldn’t you like a little baby? You’d be a great mom. I know you would.”
“Like hell. I’d drop the kid on his head the first day. And the whole childbirth thing? Doesn’t it squick you out? It’s gross! It’s okay for your cavernous cunt to get all stretched out, but our guy likes my tight pussy.”
Yunjin gasped. “God, you’re filthy. I’ve never heard any complaints from him. And I’m pretty sure he’s spent a lot more time in me than in you.” She stuck out her tongue.
“Ladies, once again, I’m right here, you know. If that’s a concern, Karina, I hear they can stitch you up afterward. Make you tighter than ever.”
Both girls goes “Ewww” and slapped me.
Yunjin kept talking about kids throughout the summer.
“I know,” she said one day, “We’ll go camping to the same place. You can fuck me just like before, only we’ll time it so I’m at peak fertility. Wouldn’t that be romantic?”
At first, I wasn’t sure that we were ready, but Yunjin convinced me. She stopped her birth control, and we began planning the trip.
A few days later, Karina asked me to sleep just with her, in her room. She was clingy that night, wrapping herself around me, urging me to go deep and fuck her hard.
“I’m going to lose you two.”
“How can you lose us? We’re family.” I said, surprised.
“You, Yunjin and a baby will be family. I’ll be a fifth wheel.”
“Karina, what’s wrong? I thought you were happy about our plans.”
“I am. I’m happy for Yunjin. I’m happy for you. But it doesn’t leave any place for me.”
“Your place is here. We love you. I love you. You know that. We’re together. All of us. The only thing that would change is how little sleep we’ll get with a baby around.”
Karina burrowed her head against me and said nothing.
Yunjin and I were installing a new kitchen faucet by ourselves when she said, “We never asked Karina to come camping with us, you know.”
I snorted. “We never asked because neither of us could imagine Karina camping. She’s a city girl.”
“We’re city people too, and we did it. You’ve gone backwoods camping several times.”
“Yeah, but Karina gets grumpy if she doesn’t have immediate access to a latte or high heels.”
“C’mon. She likes it out here. I think she’s feeling left out. We should at least ask.”
We did. To my surprise, Karina agreed. She even seemed excited. She started pestering us with questions: how long was the hike? How did you go to the bathroom…”
“Are you really sure you want to come?” I asked.
“I can be just as tough as Yunjin, you know. And if you’re determined to turn our poor sweet Yunjin into an unwed mother, she’ll need me to hold her hand while you do it. Or hold her down if she gets cold feet.”
The summer heat hit us as we emerged from the cool shade of the forest. I spread my arms and said, “Behold.”
Karina and Yunjin looked around at the camping area and out at the little lake. “This is so beautiful!” exclaimed Karina.
“And all just for us.” I added.
The girls set their backpacks on the ground and groaned with relief. “Oh, it’s good to get that off,” said Karina. “You guys call this fun?” She wiped sweat from her face and neck.
I set my pack down too. “Yeah, but it’s still a lot to carry.”
“Good thing you two were carrying most of it. I thought I’d die back there on the trail.”
“Time to cool off,” said Yunjin, pulling off her clothes. “Let’s go swim.”
We stripped and ran into the little lake.
“Oh my God,” said Karina as she swam on her back, her large breasts breaking the surface. “This is wonderful.”
“I can’t believe it’s been two years since we were here,” said Yunjin, also floating on her back. Her modest breasts barely poked from the water.
We floated and swam, confident no one would disturb us. Though the lake had two campsites, we had reserved the other one to make sure we would be alone on the long weekend.
When we had cooled down, we toweled each other off on the shore.
Karina squeezed the water from her long jet-black hair then ran her fingers through it to slick back over her head. Her upraised arms and arching back lifting her breasts to the sun was a breathtaking sight.
We got to work setting up camp.
“You guys have to tell me what to do,” said Karina, “and don’t make fun of me. You know I’ve never camped before.”
Yunjin and I instructed Karina in gathering fallen branches for firewood and how to fill the filter bag for clean water, then we all set up our new three-person tent.
Karina peered in the tent doorway, “Three-person tent, huh?
“We’re used to snuggling,” said Yunjin. “It’ll be fine.”
We all crawled inside to lay on the camping mats, the girls on either side of me.
“See?” I said. ‘It’s a palace. Lots of room, as long as we spoon.’ I rolled Yunjin onto her side and nestled behind her. “Mmm. After that hike I could use a nap.”
“Oh no you don’t,” she said, squirming away. “I know what kind of ‘nap’ you have in mind. We still have things to set up.”
Yunjin crawled out of the tent and pulled me with her. Karina reluctantly emerged as well.
“Okay, we’ll play later. Someone needs to string up a clothesline, and we need to get a line into a tree to hang our packs.” I said.
“Why?” asked Karina.
“Animals,” said Yunjin. “You hang the packs and anything else that smells in a tree away from the camp. So raccoons and bears don’t rip them open at night or follow the scent to our camp.”
Karina furrowed her brow. “You never said anything about bears.”
“There are only black bears around here. They’re no big deal.”
“I don’t care if they’re teddy bears. A bear is a bear.”
“Sort of. Black bears aren’t that aggressive, as long as cubs aren’t around, anyway. You can usually scare them away. And I have bear spray just in case.”
Karina wrapped her arms around herself. “You guys call this fun? Let’s just go home. We have trees there. And no bears.”
“And you always say you’re the adventurous one,” I teased.
“Yeah, for parties. Not for getting eaten by wildlife.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve camped here many times. Never seen anything but deer and raccoons.”
We gave Karina rope to string up as a clothesline while Yunjin and I found the tree we had used on our first camping trip and got it ready to hoist our packs later that evening.
When we returned to camp, Karina had hung up our one mutual towel on the line.
“Everything is all set.” I looked at Yunjin suggestively. “Now we can take that nap.”
“It’s too hot. Even hotter in the tent. Besides, I’m not horny.” Yunjin said
I sighed. “Karina?”
“What? No way. It’s too hot.”
“You’re not horny either?”
“Nope,” said Karina, putting her hands behind her and rocking back on her heels. She had a little smile.
“Well, I am,” I said, “and as alpha male, I demand to mate with my harem.”
The girls scoffed.
“Listen to him,” said Karina. “He thinks he’s in charge.”
I spread my arms and stepped towards Yunjin with exaggerated stalking movements. She laughed, backing away. “Keep away, ‘alpha male.’”
Trying not to laugh, I growled, “The first girl I catch, I fuck,” then lunged at Yunjin. She yelped and ran. I turned to Karina. With a big smile, she bolted in the other direction.
I chased the girls, laughing and screaming. Yunjin was the slowest, but she was agile. Each time I nearly caught her, she weaved and feinted away. After a few more times, she plunged into the water and swam to the middle.
“No fair!” I yelled. Yunjin was a powerful swimmer… there was no way I would catch her in the lake.
I turned back to Karina. I herded her to the edge of the campsite where thorny bushes and a large tree blocked her way. I spread my arms as I approached, ready to catch her if she bolted.
Karina stood with her back against the tree, looking left and right. “Stay away, you beast,” she laughed.
“You’re mine now,” I growled dramatically and edged closer.
By now, I was hard as steel. Karina’s eyes widened when she saw it.
“You think I’m your bitch to fuck whenever you feel like it?” she said.
I closed the gap and pinned her to the tree, holding her wrists with one hand. “Uh huh. And I feel like it, Now.”
Karina just grinned as I forced her legs apart and started rubbing my cock along her slit. She was already wet. I started sliding back and forth, becoming slick from her wetness.
“Beast,” she breathed, but she pushed back at me.
I released her wrists and put my arms under her ass, lifting her up against the tree and forcing her legs around me. I positioned my cock up her entrance and pushed. Karina inhaled sharply, eyes widening as I penetrated her. She held onto the tree behind her as I started fucking her against it. Soon she wrapped her legs and arms tight around me and pulled me into a deep kiss.
I rutted deep into her grasping tunnel with no thought of prolonging our mating or getting her off. I was consumed with a primal need to fuck this beautiful woman until I filled her.
It didn’t take long. A few final thrusts and I grunted, cumming hard into her. Karina clung and panted, her welcoming womb accepting my seed.
Eventually, my heart slowed and I lowered her legs. I kept myself inside her as we kissed and embraced. When I finally softened and slipped from her, I pulled Karina away from the tree and turned her around to brush bits of bark from her back.
Karina looked back. “Ass,” she said.
“You bring it out in me,” I grinned. “You okay?”
“I’ve just been fucked by my ‘alpha male’ How could I not be okay?” She forced a smile, then it trailed away into an odd, unreadable expression.
Yunjin was drying off when we got back to the tent.
“No fair going in the water,” I said. “You know you’re a better swimmer.”
“I wasn’t going to let you fuck ME against some tree. When we do it, I want it long and slow.”
“Suits me,” I said. “I think I’m ready for an actual nap now.”
The three of us crawled back into the tent. It was still hot, but we snoozed for an hour, entwined in a heap.
Daylight was fading when we woke. While Karina and I washed up in the lake, Yunjin started a fire. We ate dinner, warmed by the fire, watching the sun set and stars slowly emerge.
“Oh,” said Yunjin, “I forgot.” She fetched a small carton from her pack and handed it to Karina.
“Instant Chai Tea Latte Mix,” read Karina. “Gee, guys… you shouldn’t have.”
We laughed and Yunjin sat back down beside me, resting her head on my shoulder as she watched the fire and absently played with my dick. When I started getting hard, she glanced at me with a wry smile and lowered her head to take me in her mouth. After a few minutes, she stretched out by the fire and guided my head down between her legs. I licked her gently for a long while as she lay in the firelight. I concentrated my efforts and soon brought her to orgasm as she moaned and pushed my face into her.
I slid up Yunjin’s body, ready to enter her, but she pushed back on my chest.
“Wait.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked, searching her eyes.
“I… I don’t know about this.”
I rolled off and held her. “This is what we planned.”
“I know. But… all my life I was told to stay away from guys. Getting pregnant was the worst thing that could ever happen. And now…”
“…and now you’re all grown up. You’re a woman, not a girl. Your family isn’t here to brand you a slut. You decide what’s right.”
“My head knows that,” said Yunjin. “But inside…”
I was afraid this might happen. We had planned this trip for months, but it was a big step for Yunjin. The final step, in her mind, that would separate her from her past: getting pregnant.
We timed the trip so she would be unprotected and at her most fertile. She was more vulnerable to impregnation than the first time we had coupled at the same campsite.
Back then, I had taken Yunjin backwoods camping for the first time. She was determined to shed the demons of guilt and shame from her strict upbringing. Just being alone with a guy was a big step, let alone camping in the wilderness with one. But the beauty of the surroundings and the sense of freedom led to our first experiments with nudity, followed by us fucking without protection later on. It was stupid, but fortunately Yunjin did not get pregnant. That weekend, Yunjin started discovering her inner strength and started living free, acting as she judged best, no longer following the repressive edicts of her parents.
As we lay together by the fire, I let Yunjin wrestle with the last remnants of those feelings of guilt and shame.
Finally, she urged me on top of her.
“I’m through being scared.” She spread her legs. ‘Do it,’ she smiled. “Fuck me. Knock me up. Make love to me for real.”
Our coupling was tender, both understand it wasn’t just to satisfy our lust. There would be life-changing consequences for all of us. We hoped.
When I approached the point of no return, I looked into Yunjin’s eyes.
“Last chance,” I panted.
Yunjin’s eyes were bright. “Let go,” she whispered. “Make me yours forever.”
I pushed in deep and with two more strokes emptied all I had into my love’s fertile body. She groaned and arched her back as she felt me inseminate her. It signalled victory over her last taboo. She was finally free of her demons.
From the other side of the fire, Karina watched excited as I hopefully impregnated her best friend.
“Way to go, Yunjin,” she said.
As we lay together recovering, Yunjin said, “You were supposed to fuck me first this weekend, you know.”
“I know. But you ran into the lake. What’s am I supposed to do? And how can I deprive poor Karina?”
Yunjin just shook her head.
“How about this,” I said, “this weekend I fuck you the most.”
“I guess that’s okay, as long every time is like what we just did.”
The three of us sat around the fire, joking and chatting until the air grew chilly. Then we secured the campsite for the night and crawled into the tent.
Sometime that night, Karina woke me in her usual way: stroking me to hardness. The remains of the campfire cast flickering light through the tent wall. Yunjin was snoring gently, her back to us.
“I can’t sleep,” Karina whispered. “I keep thinking I hear bears.”
“Well, if one comes around, I’ll go out and beat him up. I have quite a reputation in these woods, you know.”
She chuckled. “Oh, yes. Please protect me, Mr. Man!”
“Seriously, they’re really more scared of us. Especially me.” I grinned.
“You ass.” She felt my hard dick. “Ready for more?”
“I’m always ready for you, Karina.” I gently rolled on top of her and poked my hardness between her legs. She must have been playing with herself… she was already wet.
Karina sighed happily as I slid into her. No matter how many times I fucked that wonderful woman I marveled at her wet tightness and how different she felt from Yunjin.
Karina breathed in excitement, tilting her hips, driving me deeper.
We said nothing more as we fucked in dim light. Then I remembered she hadn’t come last time, so I pulled out and started sliding down her body, eager to lick her to an orgasm or three.
“No,” she breathed, urging me back up. “Not now. Just fuck me.”
“I want to make you cum.”
“Later. Just fuck me. Come on… breed me like you bred Yunjin. Knock me up. Make me yours too.”
That was odd. Karina had never played that game before. She knew the idea excited me, but pregnancy horrified her. She never even teased about me impregnating her.
I slid up and she sighed as I pushed back into her. Karina lay there, passively letting me take her, then slowly she started to respond, pushing back and moaning. She was tight as always, but it felt like her pussy grasped my dick even more, and she was so warm.
It was so stimulating I reached my peak much sooner than usual I almost collapsed on her as my muscles weakened when I came. Karina just lay there, eyes wide and staring at the ceiling of the tent as I inseminated her for the second time that day.
After a few moments, Karina gently pushed me off. Instead of cuddling up against me, she stayed on her back with knees raised.
Yunjin, however, snuggled against my other side. She said nothing, just pecked my cheek and reached down to feel me, still slick from Karina. Just like that first time, Yunjin had been listening silently while I fucked her best friend, enjoying every minute.
After three nights camping with the two women, playing, swimming and making love, I was exhausted. But the trip was successful: two weeks later, Yunjin was pregnant. The three of us celebrated and started planning.
Four weeks after the trip, Karina rushed to the bathroom one morning and threw up.
Yunjin went to see what was wrong. She returned a long time later, pulling Karina behind her. She was holding a pregnancy test wand.
“So… you know how I always told Karina that our baby could use a friend?”
I sat up. “Oh, no.”
Yunjin nodded, eyes wide.
I got up to hug them. Karina avoided my eyes.
“How did this happen?” I said. “How far along are you?”
Yunjin said, “Apparently, the same as me.”
I tried to process that. “So… I’m the father?”
Karina gasped and pushed me. “Of course! Who else would I let knock me up?”
“Let me? So, on our camping trip… you weren’t protected? On purpose?”
Karina look to Yunjin, “Guys are really slow sometimes, aren’t they?”
“But why? I thought having a kid squicked you out.”
Karina buried her face against my chest with one arm around me and the other around Yunjin. “Because I don’t want to lose you.”
I met Yunjin’s eyes while stroking Karina’s hair. “That would never happen. I told you… we’re a family.”
“Well, we sure are now,” said Karina. She looked up. “Angry?”
“Shocked,” I said. “Amazed. But not angry. You know I wanted to have a baby with you too. But now how the hell am I going to deal with two pregnant women at the same time.”
“We’ll take it easy on you. It’s going to be a big change. For all of us.” Yunjin said
I started pulling Karina and Yunjin to the bed.
“What are you doing?”
“Seeing if I can give you both twins.”
“But that’s not how… never mind. Let’s try anyway.” Yunjin laughed and pulled Karina onto the bed with her.
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piastrixpole · 12 days ago
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spinning into love - oscar piastri
pairing: oscar piastri x reader
genre: smau, written
faceclaim: buseksc
spinningaroundrecords just posted!
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our new stock is here just in time for the holidays ft. our employee's recommendation wall curated by yn
liked by user3, user45, user27 and 3,419 others
user1: damnn yn's got taste
user2: do you guys have the chappel roan record in?
->spinningaroundrecords: we do!! in coke bottle clear and the coral anniversary addition
Yn had always wanted to work somewhere in the music industry. She lived, breathed and sleeped the euphoria of discovering a new favourite artist or record. From the moment she could remember, the thrill of discovering a new song, a new band, or a hidden gem in the deep corners of an album was enough to make her feel alive. It wasn’t just the act of listening; it was the feeling of music that consumed her. The electric pulse of a bassline, the bittersweet strum of a guitar, the raw, vulnerable emotion in a singer's voice—it all gave her a sense of connection to the world that she couldn’t find anywhere else. Since she wasn't the most musically inclined herself it she was extra passionate as a listener to compensate for it.
So, instead of focusing on creating music, she threw herself into the art of curating it. She spent hours browsing record shops, digging through stacks of vinyl, and chasing after obscure releases from up-and-coming artists. She was a listener, a connoisseur, someone who appreciated the artistry and emotion that went into every note.
It wasn’t long before Yn’s obsession became more than a hobby; it became her life. After years of working in different parts of the music industry—interning, managing small acts, or just helping set up gigs—she finally landed her dream job at Spinning Around Records. The record store wasn’t just a place to work for her—it was a sanctuary, a place where she could live and breathe music every day. And now, she was a permanent fixture there. She helped curate the store’s staff picks, hosted events, and even started her own little side hustle recommending records to people who had no idea where to start.
Today, Yn was standing by the store’s employee recs wall, carefully adjusting the placement of a few albums. It was a busy December afternoon, just days before Christmas. The store was filled with people rushing in for last-minute presents, some browsing, some frantically trying to find the perfect gift for that one person who seemed impossible to shop for. Yn loved the holiday chaos. There was something magical about the way music could pull people in, especially when the world was a little colder and people needed a soundtrack to their lives.
As she was straightening out the stack of vinyl, the door chimed, and Yn looked up, expecting to see the usual rush of people coming in from the cold. Instead, her gaze landed on a man—tall, with messy brown hair, wearing a jacket and jeans that somehow looked effortlessly stylish if it weren't for the drawstring style to the jeans. He was scanning the shelves, clearly out of his depth, a look of slight panic in his eyes as he searched for something among the rows of records.
Yn smirked to herself, watching him for a second. She knew that look. He was the kind of person who was very last-minute with his Christmas shopping.
“Can I help you find something?” she called over, her voice friendly and easygoing.
The man’s eyes shot over to her, and for a second, he looked a little startled, as though he hadn’t expected someone to speak up. He quickly recovered, flashing a smile that was just shy of sheepish.
“I hope so,” he said with a small laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m looking for a gift... for a friend. Not really sure where to start.”
Yn raised an eyebrow, noticing the slight hesitation in his voice. “Are they into music?”
He chuckled, looking almost embarrassed. “Well, yeah, but I don’t know what kind of music they’re into. He's picky...and plays a lot of piano ”
Ah, so he was one of those shoppers, Yn thought. The kind who had no idea what their friend liked, but was determined to get it right. She could work with that.
“Well, I’ve got a few ideas,” she said, pushing away from the shelf and walking toward him. “Do you have any idea what kind of vibe you’re going for? Do they listen to anything specific, or are you just looking for something cool?”
“Uh... cool is good,” the man replied, clearly relieved that she wasn’t judging him for his lack of knowledge. “Maybe something a little indie, or a bit retro? I’m just trying to find something that’ll stand out, you know?”
Yn's smile widened. “I’ve got exactly what you need.”
She led him over to a nearby display of albums, her fingers dancing over the spines of the records as she pulled a few out. “This one’s a personal favourite of mine," she hands him a copy of Dogrel by Fontaines DC "if you want something indie that might surprise him, this would be a good choice or if you want more of a classic album then I'm always going to recommend Grace by Jeff Buckley if he doesn't already have it. No collection is complete without it! .”
As she handed him a few records, she couldn’t help but glance at his face, noticing the way his eyes lingered on the artwork. There was something oddly familiar about him—like she had seen him somewhere before.
“Do you... work here?” he asked, finally taking a breath after looking over her selections.
Yn blinked, then laughed. “No I just give recommendations for fun and know where everything is...Yeah, I do. I’m Yn,” she said, holding out a hand. “I basically live and breathe music. If you’re really stuck, I’m your go-to.”
He shook her hand, his grip warm and firm. “Oscar,” he replied. “And... I think I might need more than just a go-to. I need expert advice.”
Yn grinned. “Well, lucky for you, I’m exactly that.”
Oscar hesitated, looking a little sheepish again. “I’m actually getting this for my friend. He invited me over to his family dinner, and... I need something that shows I’m not just a complete disaster at picking presents.”
Yn’s brow furrowed slightly, intrigued. “A friend? Who’s the lucky guy?”
“Charles,” Oscar said, a small smile tugging at his lips. “He’s... I guess you could say we’re not exactly from the same world, but he’s been super kind. I’m just trying to make sure I don’t look like a total fool showing up empty-handed.”
Oscar nodded thoughtfully, looking down at the records she’d picked out. “I think these might actually do the trick.”
“Glad I could help. Just don’t show up without one of these,” she teased, before adding with a wink, “and maybe don’t tell Charles I’m the one who saved your Christmas dinner reputation.”
oscarpiastri just posted!
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family dinner
tagged: charlesleclerc, arthurleclerc, alexandrasaintmleux, leo
liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris, arthurleclerc and 691,203 others
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charlesleclerc: Always room for you at the table, mate. You’re family now. 🍷🎄
alexandrasaintmleux: So happy to have you with us! Next time, I’m picking the wine, though🫣
arthurleclerc: My nephew👨‍🍼
messages!
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yourusername just posted!
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life lately🎼🎧
liked by oscarpiastri, yourbsf, user45 and 2,134 others
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yourbsf: Bestie, you’re just casually glowing in every single pic?? Teach me your ways immediately. 😭✨ ->yourusername: It’s all the good vibes and late-night playlists 😌
user45: Not me zooming in to see what books and records are in the background 👀
user89: Can we talk about how Oscar Piastri is casually in the likes?? 🧐
->user34: Right?? What’s he doing here lol. ->user77: Someone’s a fan of more than just F1, it seems. 👀
user777: This is such a vibe—are you starting a Pinterest board for us, or what?
user90: “Life lately” but make it the main character of a coming-of-age film. 💿✨
oscarpiastri just posted a story!
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[pic 1:🎶 ] [pic 2: Bake Off Ready?]
twitter
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discogs!
profile: oscar81
recently added....
pools to bathe in ~ the japanese house
salad days ~ mac demarco
midas ~ wunderhorse
f1gossip just posted!
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rumoured new wag yn ln was spotted at dinner with oscar piastri. could this be the mysterious record girlie behind his soft-launch posts?
liked by landonorris, arthurleclerc, yourbsf and 32,407 others
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user4: lando in the likes? he's so messy i love him
->user3: and arthur, they defo know something
user15: so when’s the hard launch? paddock debut in Aus or a Valentine’s post? place your bets, people
user11: i give it two weeks before he posts her blurry silhouette holding a coffee cup
yourbsf: @yourusername no way haha
->yourusername: 👀
oscarpiastri just posted!
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now i'm lost in your melody
liked by landonorris, mclaren, charlesleclerc and 765,091 others
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yourusername: JEFF BUCKLEY?? i've taught you well☺️
->oscarpiastri: saving my music taste since we first met🧡
charlesleclerc: so this is who i have to thank for my present 😉 bring her to the next family dinner son i approve
->oscarpiastri: will do dad 🙂⬆️
landonorris: ok lover boy
mclaren: we can't wait to meet yn🧡
->yourusername: me too admin!!🧡
user7: sleeping on the motorway tonight
user29: love IS real
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ltwilliammowett · 16 days ago
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If you’re sending post this Christmas, spare a thought for the historical residents of the remote Scottish island archipelago of St Kilda, who sometimes sent letters to the mainland using 'mailboats' like this one.
Consisting of a crudely carved boat with a compartment for a letter, it uses a sheep's bladder as a flotation device. St Kilda is only about 100 miles from the Scottish mainland, but could be largely inaccessible for months due to rough seas. When in need of assistance, these devices could be launched in the hope that they would be discovered and opened. Left to the mercy of the Atlantic, mail could end up in Iceland or Scandinavia.
The isolated lifestyle of the inhabitants of St Kilda became increasingly unsustainable and in 1930 the last of the islanders were voluntarily evacuated, leaving behind a unique Gaelic-speaking culture that had subsisted largely on the islands' massive population of seabirds.
Visitors to St Kilda have made a tradition of continuing to send these 'mailboats'. In 2020, some children on a beach in northern Norway discovered an example containing postcards, that had been cast out to sea 10 years before to mark the 80th anniversary of the evacuation. It had travelled 1,000 miles over that period.
Source
A cute little Story I wanted to share with you.
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kingofbodyrolls · 1 month ago
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Perfect Strangers (m) | jhs
When a man as warm as a crackling hearth steps into your cozy bookstore seeking the perfect gift for his friend’s Christmas party, you can’t help but offer him your brightest smile. But when he returns days later, with a spark in his eye and a bold request—to be his pretend girlfriend for this very party—you think, Why not? After all, Christmas is a time for a little magic, a little whimsy. Yet as you step deeper into his world, you discover a heart weighed down by scars from the past, a man more complex than the merry mask he wears. Still, what’s Christmas without a little hope, a touch of wonder, and a heart ready to spread the joy it knows so well?
→ Pairing: hoseok x reader (female) → AUs: bookstore!au, coffee shop!au, christmas!au, holiday!au → Trope: strangers to lovers / fake dating → Genres: fluff / angst / smut / romance → Rating: mature/explicit/R18  (this is mature/explicit content, so minors, please do not interact.) → Word count: 19.7k → Warnings + triggers: unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, oral (both), fingering, breast play, cum eating, hair pulling, dirty talk, praise kink, Hobi was a huge cock, creampie, aftercare, marking.  → Author’s note: guess who’s back with another Christmas gift? Me! 🎁 And this time, we’re unwrapping a Hoseok story! 🥳 Brace yourselves, because this one’s got ALL. THE. FEELS. Seriously, it’s like a snowstorm of emotions—pretty sad at times, but also as warm and sweet as your favorite cup of cocoa on a chilly night ☕🫂 Because let’s be real, who doesn’t need a good hug this season? I actually wrote this in November, and it gave me all the feels while writing it. I hope you’ll love it just as much as I do—and please, pretty please, shower our sunshine Hobi with all the love and virtual hugs he deserves ☀️💛 → Read the spoiler? [text messages]  → Read on AO3? [link] 
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The air bites, sharp and unforgiving, and snow tumbles in silent waves. Hoseok pulls his green parka tighter, hands buried deep in his pockets, bracing against the chill that feels as much within him as without. He hates this season—Christmas and all its garish lights, the forced smiles and saccharine cheer that feel like hollow echoes in his ears. Every year, it pulls him back to a time when something precious slipped away, leaving only empty echoes and a bitter frost in its place.
He trudges through the drifts, his boots crunching with each step as he scuffs at the snow like it’s a living thing to be kicked away. Snow. He despises it—the memories it brings, the losses buried in its whiteness. Sighing, he drags his mind away, trying to escape from the grip of the past as he remembers his unfortunate task: a gift for Namjoon, drawn by fate and the iron-clad rules of Secret Santa. Namjoon, who seems like he’d raise an eyebrow at any attempt to impress him. What do you buy for a man whose tastes are as precise as clockwork? Hoseok’s mind wanders, a book, maybe—a neutral, safe bet. Or a plant? Or some gym gear, though he winces, thinking that might feel too impersonal. The book is safer, he decides, less likely to disappoint.
His friends won’t let him slip out of their gathering this year; the annual Christmas dinner. They’ve grown wise to his excuses, having humored them too many times before. This time, they said, he simply has to come, or they’d drag his sorry ass out of his apartment themselves. So he’d agreed, and before he could stop himself, he’d added a lie—a plus one. A date. Why he’d said it, he didn’t know. A flare of bravado, maybe, or a strange wish that he could bring someone to light the way through the season he loathes. But he hasn’t had anyone in years, and now the promise lingers uncomfortably, as cold as the snow itself.
Just as his thoughts are tangling around the dreaded dinner and the impossible gift, something catches his eye. Through the haze of snow, a flickering glow lights up the street. LEDs twinkle on a small shop sign, casting warm light onto the swirling cold. The words, “Books & Coffee,” curl across the sign in whimsical letters. Through the frosted windows, he catches a glimpse of cozy warmth inside—painted winter scenes, shelves filled with books, and the faint haze of steam rising from mugs. A chance, he thinks. A book for Namjoon, maybe, and a cup of coffee to thaw his mood.
With a shake of his head, he steps toward the shop, hoping the warmth within might push back, if only for a moment, the frost of memory that clings to him so stubbornly.
He pushes the door open, expecting the cramped and dim interior of a hole-in-the-wall shop. But as he steps inside, he pauses, surprised. The space stretches wide and tall, a quiet maze of towering bookshelves reaching toward the ceiling like trees in a literary forest. The air is thick with the scent of aged paper and fresh coffee, as warm and comforting as a blanket against the cold. Each shelf brims with books of every size, color, and genre, neat little labels dividing worlds of romance, mystery, fantasy, and more. And there, at the back of the store, his eyes catch on something unexpected—a grand coffee station, part of the cashier’s desk, decked out with bottles of liquor that glint invitingly beneath the dim lights. He frowns, amused, wondering just what sort of bookstore he’s stumbled into. 
Around him, people sink into overstuffed couches and mismatched armchairs, nestled beside little tables piled high with books and steaming mugs. Some read in hushed solitude, while others murmur in low voices, their laughter rippling like warmth in the cozy air. He laughs to himself, an ironic chuckle at the scene—it’s like he’s wandered into a romantic comedy set. Christmas decorations hang from every possible ledge, string lights wound like ivy around the shelves, falling snow draping down from the ceiling, like something straight out of The Great Hall in Hogwarts. It’s kitschy, as if the store itself is leaning into the absurdity of holiday cheer, its charm so overdone it loops back into endearing. He can’t help but picture it: a flower stand in one corner, and his “perfectly quirky holiday shop” bingo card would be complete.
Not knowing where to start, he begins wandering among the shelves, eyes skimming over the labeled sections—romance (divided by spice levels, he notes with a faint smile), “how-to” books, self-help guides, fantasy, young adult, crime thrillers. He feels lost, in more ways than one, unsure what might interest Namjoon. A philosophy book, maybe? Or poetry—something brooding and introspective, since Namjoon’s always been the type to lean into “the deep stuff.”
Just as he’s contemplating how ridiculous it is that he, of all people, has to pick out a “meaningful” gift, he glances up and spots you at the counter, your lips curved into a soft smile. Your eyes meet his, and for a split second, he feels something unexpected—a flicker, like warmth pressing through the cold. You’re watching him with a light in your eyes, a warmth that, to his surprise, disarms him, even makes him feel almost…seen. Before he can look away, you’re already walking toward him, smile unwavering, and a strange, unfamiliar shiver runs down his spine.
“Do you need any help?” you ask, your voice soft and welcoming, your gaze roaming over him in casual appraisal.
If he had a flirting bone left in his body, he might have found a response, something charming to match the spark in your eyes. He thinks you’re cute, sure, and there’s no mistaking the interest in the way you’re looking at him. But he doesn’t have it in him, not anymore. It’s been too long since he’s let himself flirt, or even felt the desire to.
“Yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. “I’m…looking for a book. For a friend. Got stuck with him in Secret Santa this year,” he shrugs, hoping that explains enough. 
You nod, listening with a gentle attentiveness that surprises him, as if every word he says matters. 
“Alright,” you reply, a bright smile lighting up your face as you clap your hands together in delight. “What kind of books does he like?” you ask, leading him further into the store with a spring in your step, your energy contagious, warming the air around you.
For a moment, he finds himself smiling back, the heaviness he carries lifting ever so slightly. Following you, he wonders if maybe, just maybe, this little shop—with all its quirks and kitschy charm—has a kind of magic after all.
A faint, almost reluctant smile tugs at his lips as he watches you move, graceful and light, as if the weight of life has never touched your shoulders. You float through the shop like someone untouched by scars, unshadowed by loss. He envies that ease, that freedom—it stirs something in him he thought he’d locked away. For a moment, he wishes he could go back to that version of himself, the one who moved through life without feeling every step like a burden. He sighs, catching himself and remembering you’d asked him a question.
“Ah—Namjoon’s into poetry,” he says, clearing his throat. “Existential stuff. The deeper, the better.”
Your smile grows, wider and brighter, and he catches sight of your slightly crooked front tooth—a small imperfection that only makes you look cuter as you bounce across the store. “I know just the thing! Follow me,” you sing, your voice lilting with a joy that contrasts starkly with his own. 
As he trails after you, he finds himself standing a little taller, rolling his shoulders back, almost as if he could let the weariness fall away. You lead him to a tall bookcase near the back of the shop, beneath a quaint little sign that reads, “Poems; a penny for your thoughts?” He raises an eyebrow at the cheesiness, but something about it is endearing, and he feels a hint of warmth sneaking in, thawing the corners of his frozen heart.
“So, this whole section is poetry. Anything specific you think he’d like, or should I recommend you something?” you ask, turning to him with eyes that feel soft and inviting, like an open door.
He hesitates. “Honestly, I’m not sure. He’s…well, his taste is kind of serious, and sometimes it’s just boring to me,” he admits, shrugging. A hint of worry lingers, hoping he hasn’t come off as rude—especially if poetry is something dear to you. But your smile doesn’t falter; if anything, it seems to soften, unfazed, still welcoming him in.
“Perfect! Then I know exactly what to recommend to you.” Your eyes light up with a spark of joy that catches him off guard, making his heart stir with an unfamiliar flutter. Reaching for a thick book, you cradle it like something cherished, a small treasure passed down. Your fingers trace the cover, vibrant and abstract, alive with colors that swirl and dance. He peers at the title, upside down but legible: Seasons Change, People Change: Thoughts on Personal Growth Inspired by Mother Nature.
You hold it out to him, gently, and begin with a quiet, thoughtful enthusiasm. “This collection is one of my favorites. Each page is filled with illustrations—paintings and sketches that bring the words to life. It’s divided into four sections, one for each season. It’s beautiful, but it’s also challenging, introspective. I keep it close for those days when I need something grounding, something to remind me to keep growing, even when it’s hard.” Your voice is soft, reverent, and the passion in your words flows freely, making his heart stumble a little, a pulse he thought had quieted.
Without a second thought, he feels himself drawn in, already captivated by your summary and the way you cradle the book like it holds some kind of quiet magic. He feels it—the warmth and lightness in your presence thawing the edges of something inside him. He thought he’d long forgotten this feeling, but as you stand there, glowing, he realizes maybe it isn’t gone after all.
“Do you want to get him this one, or should I find something else?” you ask, your eyes gleaming with a playful spark, the kind of light that could brighten even the dimmest of days.
He lets out a chuckle, low and gravelly, surprising himself. The sound feels foreign, rusty, like laughter hasn’t escaped his throat in a long time. “No,” he starts, and then realizes you’d offered him two options, so he clears his throat and clarifies, “I want this one. Thank you.”
Your smile widens, and there’s that same warmth in your eyes, shimmering with a joy he hasn’t felt in years. “Awesome,” you murmur, a quiet delight in your voice as you turn to lead him back to the counter. He follows, watching the way you move, the easy grace of your steps, the little bounce that seems so at odds with his own heavy tread. He can’t help but notice the care you put into even the smallest details—how your fingers skim over the cover as you scan the book, your voice soft as you tell him the price. He nods absently, hardly hearing you; he’s already decided this book, chosen with such thought, is worth every penny.
“Would you like it gift-wrapped?” you ask suddenly, breaking him out of his thoughts. He chuckles again, awkward this time, and you respond with a light laugh of your own, a sound that melts the air between you. “I’ll wrap it up real quick,” you say, reaching for a roll of delicate paper. “Just a sec.”
He watches, captivated by the way you work. Your hands move smoothly, almost lovingly, as you fold the paper with practiced ease. You add a final touch—a bit of decorative tape, a couple of small stickers, a tiny pocket for a note. There’s a grace in your movements, a tenderness he hadn’t expected to find in something so ordinary. It strikes him that you must do this every day, that you’ve wrapped countless books just like this one, yet you treat each with the same reverence. For a moment, he’s transfixed, caught up in a little world where every gesture, every detail matters.
“Here you go,” you say, handing him the book, now carefully wrapped and nestled in a paper bag.
“Will that be everything for you today?” you ask, smiling softly as if you can sense he’s still lingering, still caught in his own thoughts.
“Oh—actually, no!” he exclaims, a laugh slipping out, and it’s genuine, unexpected. “I’d like a coffee to go, please.”
“Of course,” you reply with a little nod, and he watches as you glide over to the coffee station, your hands moving gracefully as you work the machine, pouring a steady stream of coffee into a simple paper cup. You bring it to him with a quiet smile. “Here you go,” you say, handing him the cup, its warmth seeping through the paper and into his fingers, spreading heat into his bones.
“Thank you,” he says, reminding himself to return your smile. There’s a warmth there, an ease he hasn’t felt in a long time, and he finds himself thinking, just for a second, how pretty you look with that gentle expression, with the easy way you move through the world. If only he weren’t so closed off, so weighed down by his own wounds. You’d be the kind of person he’d love to ask out, if his heart hadn’t already been numbed by the cold.
But no—he’s too far gone for that. So he simply raises a hand in farewell, turns his back, and steps out into the biting wind. Snowflakes swirl around him, cold against his cheeks, but his coffee is warm in his hands, sending up gentle tendrils of steam that vanish into the icy air. He trudges through the snow, his footsteps muffled, his mind unexpectedly lingering on you—your warm laugh, the way your eyes glinted with life, as if joy itself lived inside you. 
Maybe he should let himself try again. Maybe he should take a chance and see what could happen, let someone in, just once more. His friends have told him enough times how much he needs that, how he should stop closing himself off. But then he remembers how content you seemed, untouched by the darkness he carries, and he can’t bear the thought of bringing his storm into your sunlight, of tainting that brightness with his own shadows. It’s better this way, he tells himself, better not to risk another heart—especially not one that shines like yours.
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The sun spills across the snow outside, making it glisten like a field of tiny pearls scattered over the earth. Inside your bookstore, the warmth of Christmas lingers in every corner, filling the air with the quiet glow of string lights, the soft hum of holiday music, and the scent of coffee mingling with cinnamon. It’s just the way you love it—cozy and inviting, a small world apart. The fragrance stirs memories of Christmases past, when warmth and wonder felt boundless. It’s nostalgic, yes, and you find yourself wanting to pass that feeling on, to wrap it up like a gift and place it into the hands of every person who steps through the door.
This is why you opened this bookstore with its coffee corner, a place where stories and comfort blend as naturally as words on a page. You’ve always been captivated by the written word, knowing full well how a single story can slip beneath your skin, change your world, and leave you breathless with a sense of wonder. A story can make you pause, whispering, wow, this was amazing, or surprise you with glimpses of yourself in its characters. Some books show you new paths; others mirror the parts of yourself you hadn’t quite understood.
This is the magic you’ve always chased—a quiet enchantment found only in books—and why you can’t help but adore recommending them. You believe in the power of words, that the right book at the right time can light up a reader’s world. And here, among the shelves you’ve lovingly arranged, you get to share that magic every day, welcoming others into a world that feels like home.
Every person who steps into your little winter wonderland is met with a genuine smile, and if they’re looking for a recommendation, you’re ready to sprinkle a bit of joy their way. Life hasn’t been simple for you, and you’ve had to fight for much of what you have now, but it’s made every small thing feel that much more precious. Every creak of the floorboards, every cover softened by countless hands, every whispered exchange about a new favorite book feels like a gift.
It’s midday on a bustling Saturday—one of the busiest days of the week—and today’s book club meets in half an hour. You glance at the clock and start setting everything up, filling the air with extra anticipation. You prepare an assortment of drinks: coffee, of course, but also tea for those who prefer it, poured into festive mugs that add a little extra cheer. You drape fluffy blankets over the cozy couches and scatter them with soft pillows, transforming your reading nook into a haven from the cold outside. Freshly baked muffins and cookies wait on the table, adding a hint of sweetness to the air.
In your hands, you hold today’s book—a thrilling, spicy fantasy where a young woman uncovers a hidden truth about herself, discovering magic and mystery with the help of a tall, dark, brooding stranger. It’s the perfect pick for this crowd, an escape into a world filled with intrigue and impossible love. Your bookstore hosts a range of book clubs, something for every taste, from cozy mysteries to heartfelt memoirs, so everyone who wanders in finds a place to belong.
As you check the time again, the chime of the door opens, and members trickle in, mostly women but with a few men scattered among them. They settle into the chairs, cradling their warm drinks and pulling out their books, eyes bright with anticipation. You begin, reading snippets aloud, leading discussions that bounce from laughter to quiet reflection as everyone shares their favorite lines, passages that moved them, questions that linger. Hours slip by in an instant, and even after the meeting ends, people linger, reluctant to let go of this cozy, book-filled oasis. Some stay to read, sipping slowly at their cups, while you return to the counter, greeting the steady stream of customers that fill your little shop. 
As you move between the bookshelves and help others find their next escape, you feel a quiet pride. This place is yours, filled with stories, laughter, and a touch of magic in every corner—a small universe where people come to feel less alone, warmed by the same words that have guided you all your life.
As you wait, relaxed, watching for anyone who might need help, your mind drifts back to a few days ago, to that stranger who walked in with the quietest of presences, searching for a gift—a book for his friend. Namjoon, that was the friend’s name. You realize now you never caught the stranger’s name. He was handsome in an understated way, but there was a heaviness about him, like a cloud clinging to his shoulders. That sadness had tugged at something inside you, urging you to offer him a touch of the holiday warmth filling your little shop. Despite his guarded nature, you saw those small cracks, those fleeting moments when he softened, letting in a glimmer of the joy you tried to share.
Now, with closing time just around the corner, your thoughts drift back to him and that lingering, frowning gaze. Just then, the bell chimes, pulling you from your thoughts, and to your surprise, in he walks, the same stranger, stepping through the door with a hint of apprehension. For a split second, he looks vulnerable, almost unsure—but as his eyes meet yours, his expression shifts, confidence replacing hesitation. His small smile is radiant, a rare glow that catches you off guard, like a sliver of sunlight breaking through a cloudy sky. It’s barely there, but it’s enough to leave you wondering what storms he’s weathered to dim his light this way.
You greet him with a soft smile of your own as he steps up to the counter, stopping just before you. 
“Hi,” he says with a steady voice. You return the greeting, about to ask if he needs help with anything, but he speaks first, voice a touch uncertain but warm.
“Remember that friend you helped me find a gift for?” he asks, scratching his head, as though he’s slightly unsure of himself. You nod, intrigued, and he clears his throat, glancing away for just a moment.
“Well,” he continues, his voice steadying, “we’re having a Christmas dinner tomorrow, and I thought... Maybe you’d like to come with me?”
You blink, taken by surprise, and a laugh escapes as you say, “I don’t even know your name,” your tone light, not saying no, but letting him know you’re curious, open to this unexpected invitation.
“Ah, right—my bad,” he says, stretching his hand toward you with a shy smile. “I’m Hoseok. And you?”
You take his hand, his warmth surprising you, and you giggle, “It’s Y/N,” you reply, your voice soft, the sound of your name feeling different in the warmth of his gaze.
“Y/N,” he repeats, a gentle smile tugging at his lips. “Pretty name,” he murmurs, and you can’t help but feel the faintest hint of flirtation woven in his words, though there’s still a nervousness in his eyes.
Then he takes a small breath and adds, “Just to clarify,” he hesitates, his voice wavering with a hint of uncertainty, “you’d be going as my girlfriend. Well, my fake girlfriend.” He chuckles nervously, almost wincing at his own words. “I mean—if you’re good with that?”
The words hang in the air between you, unexpected and just a bit surreal. Fake girlfriend? You blink, caught off guard, studying his face as he scratches the back of his neck, stammering slightly, realizing, perhaps, the absurdity of it all. “I told my friends I’d be bringing my girlfriend,” he explains, his cheeks coloring, “but, well… I don’t actually have one.”
There’s something so earnest, so endearingly awkward about him that you can’t help but smile. And before you know it, you hear yourself saying, “Yeah, sure. I’d love to be your fake girlfriend.” The words come easily, and even though you’ve only seen him once in your bookstore, something in his gaze feels steady, genuine. Maybe it’s a leap, but you’ve always trusted your instincts, and right now they’re telling you he’s worth it. If this brings him a little joy in the midst of whatever shadows he’s facing, you’re happy to oblige.
Hoseok looks stunned, his mouth opening slightly in disbelief, and then a broad smile lights up his face. “Thank you,” he breathes, his voice filled with relief and a soft gratitude. He tells you he’ll pick you up tomorrow, and you exchange numbers and addresses, the simple gestures somehow feeling significant.
As he heads out into the frosty night, his figure disappearing into the snow-dusted street, you’re left smiling to yourself, the weight of the unexpected encounter settling over you. You lock up the bookstore, half-wondering at the mystery of it all, but feeling strangely certain this is exactly the kind of magic the season brings—unexpected, a little reckless, and wrapped in the glow of winter lights.
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You clasp your hands together, fingers intertwining tightly, nerves fluttering in your chest as you wait for Hoseok to pick you up. You agreed to join him at his friends’ Christmas dinner as his pretend girlfriend, but now, in the quiet of your apartment, doubt creeps in. You’ve only met him twice in your bookstore, barely know him beyond fleeting glances and brief exchanges. The thought of walking into a room full of strangers prickles at your confidence. But you remind yourself that it’s just like meeting new faces at the shop. Slowly, your shoulders loosen, and your breathing steadies.
Glancing at your wristwatch, you see it’s nearly time. You grab your keys, lock the door, and head down the stairs, feeling the soft knit of the Christmas sweater dress Hoseok insisted you wear, an odd sense of comfort in its silly design. Apparently, you’re “matching his ugly sweater,” as he’d said with a laugh. Wrapped in your winter coat and boots, you step into the night, the cold air crisp and bracing as delicate snowflakes drift through the air, illuminated by the warm amber glow of the streetlamps.
Headlights sweep up the road, and Hoseok’s car slows to a stop in front of you. He’s waiting, the dim light from the dashboard casting a soft glow across his face. You open the door, sliding into the passenger seat, where warmth radiates from the heater and a familiar cinnamon scent lingers in the air. Hoseok greets you with a quiet smile, though his eyes hold a hint of his own nerves.
“Hi, Y/N,” he says softly, watching you as you fasten your seatbelt. He shifts into gear, guiding the car down the snowy road. His fingers clench the steering wheel, and after a moment, he glances your way. “So…you remember our backstory from last night?”
You nod, giving him a reassuring smile. “Yeah, I remember the texts,” you say, warmth lacing your voice. “We’re childhood friends from kindergarten who recently reconnected when you moved back into town.” 
He hums approvingly, tapping his fingers lightly on the wheel as he stops at a red light. “Perfect. My friends are probably going to ask a million questions—I hope you’re ready for that.”
You shrug with a playful confidence, grinning as you glance over at him. “I think I can handle it.”
The two of you share a small, knowing smile, though the absurdity of the situation isn’t lost on you. Here you are, headed toward a stranger’s holiday dinner, to pretend to be his girlfriend. You don’t gain anything from this beyond the joy of helping someone out, but still…there’s a little thrill in the adventure.
The city lights gradually fade as he drives out toward the quieter suburbs, snow dusting the dark roads until he finally turns into the driveway of a quaint little house, string lights twinkling around the doorframe like stars. Hoseok cuts the engine, the two of you sitting in the hushed stillness for a moment, watching as the snowflakes swirl gently outside the windshield.
“We’re here,” Hoseok murmurs, and you catch his smile, warm as the headlights reflecting off the falling snow. “This is actually my friend Namjoon’s place,” he says, reaching for a carefully wrapped gift on the seat. Watching him, you suddenly wonder aloud, “Should I have brought something, too?”
He waves his hands between you, shaking his head. “Nah, don’t worry—you didn’t draw a name for Secret Santa, so you’re all set.”
Relieved, you step out into the brisk night, following him along the snow-dusted path. As you approach the door, he reaches for your hand, his grip both grounding and electrifying as he gives a gentle pull, guiding you to the doorstep. You bite your lip nervously, a bundle of nerves and excitement building, when the door swings open. Standing there, smiling with dimples that carve deep into his cheeks, is a man who strikes an oddly familiar chord.
“Hi, Hobi,” he greets, his voice rich and welcoming, before glancing at you with a knowing twinkle. “And this must be your girlfriend?”
Hoseok’s hand presses lightly against the small of your back. “Yes, this is Y/N,” he introduces you with a soft squeeze that sends a rush of warmth through you.
You follow them inside, feeling the sudden coziness of the house—a subtle warmth, holiday lights casting a glow over walls adorned with paintings and art pieces. When you step into the dining room, you stop, eyes widening at the grand bookcase stretching along the wall. It reminds you of your own bookstore, and you can’t help the delighted laugh that escapes you.
You’re greeted by Hoseok’s friends, easy smiles and lighthearted jokes melting away your nerves. There’s a surprising ease to slipping into this role, to letting Hoseok’s arm find its way around your shoulder, his touch landing at the small of your back, drawing you in for a gentle hug every so often. His casual touches feel natural, and you find yourself leaning into him as if you’ve known each other for far longer than two brief meetings.
As the evening unfolds, though, you notice something. While you’re chatting and laughing with his friends, Hoseok seems quieter, reserved, watching more than talking, an unexpected contrast to the warm person who’s held you close all evening.
Soon, everyone settles at the table, and you find yourself between Hoseok and Namjoon, whose familiarity still niggles at your mind. Drinks are poured, laughter fills the air, and a delicious meal is shared. The room falls into a comfortable quiet as everyone eats, voices softened as plates empty and contentment settles in.
“So, how did you meet our Hobi?” a tattooed guy—Jungkook, you think—asks with a curious smile.
You recount the story Hoseok gave you, weaving it with a smile. Jungkook nods, seemingly convinced, and around the table, friends accept your tale with knowing grins—except for Namjoon. You catch the soft scoff he tries to hide, though the others brush it off. When you finally turn fully to face him, catching his eyes, recognition strikes.
Of course—he’s a regular at your bookstore. You’ve seen him countless times, tucked into a corner with a book in hand, quietly immersed, though he’s never spoken to you and always leaves without buying anything. You wonder if he remembers you too, if he feels the same familiar spark, or if it’s just you, standing in the company of strangers who somehow feel just a bit like home.
A pang of doubt twists in your chest. If Namjoon has indeed pieced together that you’re not Hoseok’s real girlfriend, then the secret you’re helping carry feels a little heavier. You remember Hoseok mentioning their long history, and you wonder how well Namjoon can see through this little charade. But as dinner goes on, he stays silent, leaving you in an unsettling limbo of half-glances and unsaid words.
The night drifts on, and laughter fills the room as everyone exchanges Secret Santa gifts. You can’t help but smile as each friend unwraps their present, the spark of surprise and joy lighting up each face. When it’s Namjoon’s turn, he opens Hoseok’s gift—a book—and he pauses, his gaze slipping to you in a flash of recognition. You avert your eyes, warmth creeping into your cheeks, uncertain of what he sees or thinks.
When the last of the presents has been exchanged, Hoseok turns to you, a small, wrapped package in his hands. “For you,” he murmurs, his smile soft, almost bashful. Surprised, you unwrap it, revealing a tiny sun plushie with a wide, beaming grin. Its warmth brings an involuntary smile to your lips, and you clutch it close. “Thank you, dear,” you say, leaning in to plant a light kiss on his cheek. Hoseok’s friends exchange giggles and knowing looks, and Hoseok whispers softly to you, “It’s for being my partner in crime tonight.”
As the evening winds down, you join in clearing the table. Hoseok has drifted to the couch, his figure outlined by the window, eyes distant and fixed on the winter night. A weight lingers in his expression, a deep-seated sadness that seems miles away from the warmth of the room. You’re about to go to him, to ask if he’s alright, when you feel a strong hand at your wrist, guiding you into the hallway.
It’s Namjoon. His presence is grounded and steady, like an oak tree catching you in the autumn wind. His eyes meet yours, and for a moment, you see both questions and answers swirling there, like he’s holding onto a truth he’s not sure he’s ready to speak.
“So, should I be thanking you for the book?” Namjoon chuckles, his smile gentle yet curious, as though he’s only half-convinced of your innocence in the matter.
“Not really,” you reply, grinning as you deflect his gaze with a little shrug. “I just helped him choose because he’s hopeless with books—unless they’re comics.” You laugh, hoping your nonchalance hides the truth beneath the surface.
He laughs, nodding. “Yeah, sounds like him. Comics are about as close as he gets to literature.” His eyes flicker with warmth as he continues, “So, what’s your kind of book? What authors and genres do you get lost in?”
Before you know it, the two of you are deep in conversation, voices lowered in the hallway like you’re sharing secrets. Time becomes a vague notion, and the room around you seems to fade, leaving only the vibrant world of books—their characters, settings, and journeys—alive between you. Talking about stories, you feel a rare lightness, as if Namjoon is the first person in ages who shares the same deep love for them.
“You should drop by the bookstore sometime,” you say with a smile that feels wider, warmer. “We have a book club, too. It’s not as fancy as this,” you laugh, glancing toward the festive room, “but it’s a cozy crowd.”
Namjoon hesitates, then rubs the back of his neck, a flicker of shyness breaking through his cool exterior. “I might just take you up on that.” He pauses, as if summoning courage. “Actually… could I get your number? There’s that book you mentioned earlier—I’d love to hear more about it sometime, but…” He glances at the room filling with laughter and goodbyes. “Looks like this night’s wrapping up.”
For a brief second, you wonder at the request, but something in his gaze, earnest and unguarded, assures you. With a soft smile, you hand him your phone, and as you exchange numbers, a quiet sense of possibility lingers in the space between you.
He must know, right? That you’re only pretending to be Hoseok’s girlfriend? 
And yet, Namjoon has said nothing, given no sign that he’s in on the secret. With a fleeting glance over your shoulder, you find Hoseok across the room, engaged in conversation with Seokjin. You drift over and settle next to him, and he instinctively wraps an arm around you, his fingers lacing with yours in a way that feels almost natural, if not a bit intoxicating. It’s easy to lean into his warmth, to fall into step with this rhythm of borrowed closeness, though your heart betrays you with a quiet flutter. Hoseok is both charming and soft-spoken—the kind of person you might fall for. But as he laughs and smiles, you sense a faint veil behind his joy, as if he’s holding something back, a quiet sadness simmering beneath his surface.
Your curiosity pulls you closer, like you’re skimming a page of a novel you’re not yet allowed to read, catching only glimpses of the sorrow he hides. You wonder what story lies beneath his charming front but stop yourself; after all, tonight you’re nothing more than strangers playing at love.
Later, as he drives you home through streets blanketed in snow, a mellow Christmas tune hums softly from the radio. He’s quieter now, eyes focused on the road, his features thoughtful, even solemn under the glow of passing streetlights. You wonder what’s shifted within him, what’s brought on this sudden retreat. You want to reach out, to ask if something’s wrong, but the words linger on your tongue, uncertain. Instead, you fall silent as the car slows, then stops outside your building. A strange reluctance holds you there, as if the air itself has thickened, laced with words neither of you are quite willing to say.
After a pause, Hoseok turns to you, clearing his throat, his hand resting on your thigh—a gesture that’s both tender and strangely formal. His voice is low, soft as he murmurs, “Thank you for being my fake girlfriend tonight. You… really made it feel real.”
He says it softly, his voice carrying a hint of sadness that catches you off guard, a weight that settles around your heart like mist on a winter night. His words linger, unspoken emotions woven into the silence that stretches between you, and you find yourself wondering—what happens now, with this fragile connection suspended in the cold, quiet air?
“It was nothing. Really—you’re welcome,” you say, a gentle reply you hope sounds reassuring, though it feels distant, safer. Perhaps the middle of the night isn’t the time to unearth things better left unsaid. Yet the thought crosses your mind: will you see him after this? Wasn’t this just a single act, a temporary arrangement?
“Will I… see you again?” you hear yourself ask, your voice soft, almost hesitant, as if it too fears rejection.
Hoseok’s hand retreats, and he glances down, a subtle sadness clouding his eyes. “I… I don’t think so.” His words feel heavier than they should, an unexpected blow that leaves you feeling emptier than you thought possible. You hardly know him, yet there’s something unspoken etched across his face—something hurt, guarded, and you ache to reach out, to tell him that whatever he’s holding back, he doesn’t have to carry alone. But he’s closed himself off, walls too high for a stranger’s comfort to reach.
You sigh, swallowing the pang of regret, clenching your hands to steady yourself. “Oh… okay,” you say, masking the ache with a soft, hollow smile. Your fingers twitch, wanting to bridge the gap between you, to offer some small comfort—but his posture tells you he isn’t ready to accept it. He looks away, his expression distant, already far ahead on a road you’re not part of, his face cast in shadow.
With a deep breath, you open the car door and step out, lingering just a moment longer before whispering a soft “Goodbye.” He barely meets your gaze as you close the door, and before you know it, his car is fading into the darkness, leaving you alone on the sidewalk, wrapped in silence and the unsettling ache of missed chances.
You stare after him, shivering under the streetlights, wondering if you should’ve pressed, if you should’ve dared to ask what weighed him down. But the night stretches on, and you’re left there with only your thoughts and the haunting feeling that you missed something rare and beautiful that might never return.
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Hoseok feels hollow, a sinking weight that hasn’t lifted since he saw that crestfallen look on your face when he left you at your door. He’s not blind; he knows he messed up. But there’s something about this season, the way it reaches into his chest and pulls him under, leaving him fighting against a tide that he’s been trying to ignore for years. And now Christmas Eve is almost here—an anniversary of grief he hates most of all—and the closer it gets, the more his mood tangles, turning dark and unmanageable.
Why does he always ruin things? You were so sweet, so bright, your hand fitting perfectly into his like it was meant to be there. It’s been so long since he’s felt even a spark of warmth like that. Having you beside him at the dinner helped, too, lifted the weight for just a moment. But now, he’s gone and left you with nothing but silence. He knows he’s worried you, knows he’s made you question yourself. And yet, his heart twists at the thought of texting back, at unearthing the reason for his darkness.
The worst part is he’s seen every message you’ve sent, each one left unanswered, and with every passing day, they’ve dwindled until now… there’s nothing. He can’t blame you for giving up—he’d have done the same. And still, something in him aches at the absence, at knowing he’s pushed you away when he’s wanted to tell you the truth. Wanted to let you in. But the truth feels as vast and heavy as the winter sky, and he doesn’t know how to share it. He doesn’t know if he ever could.
His friends have noticed, too, hounding him with questions that scrape against his guilt, asking him how he kept you hidden for so long. Namjoon even laughed and asked how he’d managed to keep such a “childhood friend” so secret all these years. Hoseok’s stomach tightens with the weight of his lie, the flimsy story unraveling before him like a thin thread he can’t control.
He scrubs a hand through his hair, frustration thick in his throat. How could he possibly tell you what’s really going on when he knows it would change how you see him? How could he bare himself to you, darkness and all, without fearing he’d lose the brief light you’ve brought into his life? The thought circles in his mind, relentless, as he wonders if he’s ever been brave enough for the truth—or if, this time, he’s finally lost the chance.
The doorbell cuts through the heavy silence of Hoseok’s apartment, and when he swings open the door, there stands Namjoon—tall and composed, bundled in a long coat, a beanie tugged low, thick glasses catching the faint winter light. He’s holding a houseplant, its green vibrant against the muted backdrop of the street.
“Mind if I come in?” Namjoon asks, but before Hoseok can even respond, his friend steps over the threshold like he’s been here a hundred times. Hoseok stands, caught off guard, words barely forming in his throat.
“Uh, sure,” he finally stammers, wondering what could have brought Namjoon here at this hour, unannounced and unreadable.
Namjoon places the plant—small, resilient-looking—onto the dining table, then slips off his coat and drapes it over the chair, pulling it out with a quiet determination. Hoseok follows and sits across from him, still dazed, feeling like he’s been summoned to some private tribunal.
Namjoon clears his throat, fixing Hoseok with a steady, discerning gaze. “You and Y/N,” he begins, words deliberate, “have you told her why you can’t stand Christmas?”
Hoseok’s breath catches; his throat tightens. He forces himself to shake his head. “No, I haven’t,” he manages, the words heavy.
Namjoon leans forward, his posture stern yet somehow protective. “So you’re not serious about her?” he presses, voice low but insistent, as though each syllable is meant to peel back the layers of Hoseok’s tangled emotions.
“No...I mean—” Hoseok hesitates, feeling the urge to confess he’s cut things off, ended this entire charade before it grew more complicated. But Namjoon speaks again, his voice shifting, a rare gentleness threading through.
“I stopped by her bookstore,” he says, and Hoseok holds his breath, tension prickling beneath his skin as he waits, unsure of where this is heading.
Namjoon’s eyes soften, and a small, genuine smile flickers across his face. “She’s really sweet, you know. Bright. Kind. I think she’s exactly what you need—if only it were real.”
The words pierce through Hoseok, his heart stumbling. He feels his pulse race, the subtle grip of panic and dread mixing with something that feels painfully like hope. He knew this moment would come, knew someone would finally see past the lie, and yet there’s relief in the admission. He can’t hide, doesn’t want to.
“So...you figured out it’s fake,” he mutters, defeated, bracing himself for whatever comes next.
Namjoon nods, arms crossed, his expression shifting to something sterner, more disappointed than Hoseok could have anticipated. “What I don’t understand,” he says, voice firm but low, “is why you’d hurt her feelings like this.”
Hoseok flinches, each word like a heavy stone sinking into his chest. Hurt you? The idea stings, unearthing a guilt he hadn’t let himself feel fully until now. He’d thought this arrangement would protect him, keep everyone at a safe distance. But hearing it said aloud—that he’s hurt you—tightens the knot in his chest, makes him realize just how much he’s let his own grief pull him down, dragging someone else along with him.
He searches Namjoon’s face, but his friend’s gaze doesn’t waver, holding him accountable with a simple, unrelenting question. And for the first time in a long time, Hoseok wonders if maybe, just maybe, he’s been too afraid to let himself feel something real again.
Hoseok’s gaze meets his friend’s, a trace of confusion flickering there, but then, with a pang, he remembers the look on your face when you’d asked if you’d see each other again. He can still see it—how your expression fell at his answer, the sadness that slipped across your features.
Namjoon leans forward, his tone gentler but resolute. “You know... I think she actually cares about you,” he says, stretching his arms out and shaking his head in amused disbelief. “I don’t know how you manage to pull that off while acting like the Grinch himself,” he scoffs, “but somehow, this girl’s worried about you. You really should go talk to her, at least apologize for being a complete ass.”
Hoseok feels his chest tighten, leaving him mute, almost stunned. He knows Namjoon is right; he knows it all too well. But saying what he feels, peeling back that scarred armor—especially around Christmas—is something he’s almost incapable of doing.
“I don’t know if I can, Joon…,” he murmurs, the words coming out more fragile than he intended. “I just think telling her everything will only make her sad,” he says, his gaze dropping to the table, his hands clasped tight as though they could somehow keep his emotions contained.
Namjoon doesn’t let him off that easily. “And what do you think she is now?” he retorts softly, but with enough weight that the words feel like they land with an impact. Hoseok’s eyes widen, struck by the truth that he’d been dodging all along.
He’d thought, maybe, you’d be angry at him—mad, frustrated, but surely you’d move on quickly, brushing him off as just another mistake. After all, you were nothing more than strangers bound by a silly pretense. But hearing Namjoon say it so plainly, he realizes just how deeply he’s been fooling himself. And underneath the weight of his resentment for this season and the pain tied to that distant, bitter December night, he can’t deny the truth—he finds you kind, thoughtful, even hopeful in ways that he barely remembers feeling himself. 
If things were different—if his grief hadn’t swallowed him whole, if he could loosen the grasp of the past—he could almost imagine himself with someone like you. But here he is, still tethered to that haunting memory, letting Christmas slip by year after year in the shadow of that loss. 
Namjoon watches him in silence for a moment, then speaks, his voice quieter but unyielding. “Hoseok, we’ve all tried to tell you. The past can’t be a place to live, no matter how much it calls you back.” 
And Hoseok feels the truth of it—a weight and a choice lingering like the chill of winter air, urging him, perhaps for the first time, to break free.
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It’s nearly Christmas Eve, and you’re setting up for the last book club gathering before the holidays—a special, spicy session in the fading afternoon light, centered around a tale of witches, dragons, and the tangle of morals. While you lay out the books, aligning them carefully on the tables, your mind drifts to Hoseok, stirring with thoughts you can’t quite suppress. Namjoon’s words echo in your memory, nudging you to give his friend a chance. But the emptiness of your unanswered texts lingers; despite the messages you’d sent with tentative care, Hoseok has remained silent. A part of you aches to reach out just once more, yet the other half insists on self-respect—if he doesn’t want the comfort you offered, the space to unburden himself, you tell yourself that’s fine. Still, beneath that quiet resolve, a sliver of frustration seethes, and it slips into your work, reflected in the books you place down a bit too roughly, each one landing with a defiant thud.
Tonight’s book club promises to be a lively one, with more attendees than ever before. You’ve even roped in a few friends to help rearrange the store, setting up extra couches and stools to welcome the crowd, and handling the front counter while you join the readers. Despite everything, the prospect of the gathering fills you with a kind of joy that’s untouched by disappointment. Here, surrounded by stories and souls eager to explore them, you feel anchored, reminded of the warmth and kinship that words can forge even on the coldest nights.
Everything is ready, and as people start trickling in, the space soon brims with warmth and laughter. Every seat is filled, and latecomers, wrapped in thick blankets, settle on the floor, adding to the cozy, intimate atmosphere. Soft candlelight dances across the room, casting a gentle glow over festive mugs brimming with coffee and tea, and you smile, savoring the joy that settles over your little bookstore. You begin speaking about the new indie author whose book you’re exploring tonight, diving into themes of morality, which quickly spark a spirited debate among the readers. 
But then your phone vibrates, faintly insistent in your pocket. At first, you ignore it, but when it continues, you excuse yourself with a sheepish smile and slip away to the counter. A string of messages from Namjoon lights up your screen.
[19:23] Namjoon: Hi 😀   [19:23] Namjoon: Sorry to bother you again, but   [19:24] Namjoon: TY for letting me visit your bookstore 📚   [19:24] You: You’re welcome anytime! 😊   [19:24] Namjoon: and finding that book for me   [19:24] You: np at all 😀   [19:25] Namjoon: I know that your relationship with Hobi is fake, but I really wanted to say that I think you’ll be good for him ☀️   [19:25] You: Really? 🥹   [19:25] Namjoon: I hope you’ll want to get to know him. He’s a really great guy 👍   [19:25] You: I do! Yeah. I had a feeling there’s a nice guy under all that sadness 🥹   [19:26] Namjoon: Ahh, yeah. He actually used to be the happiest and brightest person, but…   [19:26] Namjoon: Ahh, sorry 🙇   [19:26] Namjoon: It’s not my place to tell you.   [19:26] Namjoon: You should talk to him 🙂   [19:26] You: DW! I didn’t want to pry. I’ll ask him himself 🥰   [19:27] You: TY for looking out for him. You’re a good friend 🫂   [19:27] Namjoon: Always. He’s one of my oldest friends and I just want to see him happy again 🥹   [19:27] You: I’ll try talking to him. I hope he finally responds 🙏   [19:29] Namjoon: Please do, otherwise I’ll kick his ass!
You smile at Namjoon’s last message, the warmth of his words lingering as you slip your phone back into your pocket. But a tangle of thoughts and emotions stirs within you. Namjoon seems genuinely hopeful for you and Hoseok, nudging you toward him with a gentle insistence that Hoseok might just need someone to reach out. You’d promised to try, but doubt lingers at the edges—what if it’s all in your head, an illusion woven by the quiet moments you shared and the loneliness he wore like a mask?  
Yet, the image of Hoseok as the “brightest person,” as Namjoon described, sits heavy in your mind. What could have dimmed that light? And as you glance out at the book club gathering, a part of you wonders if, somehow, there’s still a chance to bring a bit of that warmth back to him.
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Hoseok finds himself aching for your smile, the warmth you seemed to pour out effortlessly, and the sharp, clever humor that softened his edges in ways he didn’t expect. Namjoon’s words echo in his mind, words that have been unraveling him slowly, urging him toward the chance to make things right. With his hands tucked into his coat pockets, his feet carry him almost unconsciously toward your bookstore. He knows you’re working tonight, but he doesn’t care about timing or convenience; he only knows he needs to see you, to finally apologize and hope you’ll give him even a moment of your time. He’s prepared to accept whatever you’re willing to offer—even if it’s a closed door.
As he steps inside, the familiar warmth and scent of cinnamon and worn paper embrace him, comforting and bittersweet. You glance up from the counter, and the softness of your smile catches him off guard; relief flickers in his chest—you haven’t yet written him off. He makes his way over to you, offering a tentative, apologetic smile.
“Hi, Y/N,” he says, noticing the subtle spark in your eyes, something between surprise and hope. “I came to order a coffee…and give you a proper apology,” he adds, his voice warm, almost pleading.
You let out a small chuckle, the sound light but genuine, and turn to make his coffee. “Is this one to go?” you ask, an amused smile tugging at your lips.
“No,” he replies, a hint of a grin breaking through his seriousness. “Actually, I was hoping for one of those festive mugs, and maybe to borrow a book and stay for a while—if that’s okay.”
A warmth lights up your eyes, and he feels his heart lift, his nerves unraveling just a little. “I think that’s a great idea,” you say, and reach for a whimsical reindeer mug, the kind with a scarf winding into the handle, speckled with snowflakes. You fill it with steaming coffee, setting it before him with a soft, inviting smile.
Hoseok’s gaze drops to the mug as he gathers his thoughts, then he looks up, meeting your eyes as he speaks. “I owe you an apology,” he begins, his voice low and earnest. “For everything. I know there’s no excuse, but Christmas has always been…well, it’s not exactly my season,” he trails off, catching himself rambling, and gives a nervous chuckle. “But I didn’t mean to take that out on you. I just wanted to say I’m sorry, truly, and I’ll try to be better.”
The smile you give him is small but warm, like a flicker of forgiveness, and for the first time in a long while, he feels a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, he can start letting go of his past.
You hand him the reindeer mug, warm and brimming with rich coffee, smiling as you pass it to him. “I’m glad to hear it, Hoseok. You were acting like an ass there for a bit,” you say with a playful glint in your eyes, “but that’s in the past now—you’ve apologized.” Gently, you slide the mug across the counter toward him. “Here’s your coffee. Pick out whatever book catches your eye,” you add softly, your voice warm.
He nods, pausing for a moment as he clears his throat. “Actually,” he begins, a bit hesitant, “that poetry book you recommended for Namjoon…do you have another copy?”
“I do,” you say with a quick smile, nodding toward the poetry section. “It’s right over there.”
“Thanks,” he murmurs, wrapping his hands around the mug and savoring its warmth. “Figured I could use a little introspective magic.” With that, he takes a long sip, the comfort of the mug slowly thawing his cold fingers.
He makes his way to the poetry shelves, pulls down the book, and settles into one of the plush armchairs in the corner. For a long time, he reads quietly, the pages offering him solace in ways he hadn’t expected. While his usual reads lean more toward comics, he feels something settle inside him as he lets himself sink into the rhythmic flow of the verses. Every so often, he looks up to see you moving gracefully through the shop, helping customers, laughing softly with a warmth that feels magnetic. He realizes, almost with a pang, that this warmth is something he used to feel too, before the shadows crept in. Maybe that’s part of the draw he feels toward you—you radiate the kind of light he’s been missing.
From the corner of his eye, he notices you glancing over at him, and when he catches your gaze, a soft blush creeps up your cheeks. You offer a shy smile, and he returns it with a gentle wave, feeling lighter than he has in a long time.
He doesn’t know how long he’s been there, nestled into that armchair, his coffee long finished and now sipping tea. Hours seem to slip by, but he doesn’t mind. As he flips through the poems, he’s surprised by how deeply they resonate with him. Some verses are quiet and sad, others comforting, and some seem to reach into the bruised places he’d long tried to ignore. He closes the book, his heart feeling just a little less heavy, and places it back on the shelf.
Finally, he walks to the counter, holding the empty mug in his hands. A grateful smile lingers on his lips as he approaches you, words forming in his mind like the first sparks of something new.
“It’s getting late, so I should head home,” he says softly, a smile spreading across his face. “Thank you for the coffee and…the poetry. Your store feels like a warm hug, honestly—cozy and comforting.”
You smile, touched by his words. “That’s exactly the atmosphere I was hoping for,” you reply, taking the mug from his hands and placing it on the tray to be cleaned later. 
He lingers, shifting slightly, his eyes dancing around the room as he gathers the courage for what he wants to say next. “I, uh…” he clears his throat, glancing up at you, “I’d like to come back sometime soon. Maybe we could actually hang out?” His voice wavers just a little, and you catch the flicker of nerves in his expression.
A playful grin tugs at your lips as you raise an eyebrow. “Are you asking me out on a date?” you tease, letting a hint of mischief dance in your gaze.
A blush creeps into his cheeks, but he nods, smiling shyly. “Yeah, actually… I’d like to take you out. Not here in your store. How about a movie or something?” he mumbles, trying to hide his hopefulness.
“A movie sounds nice,” you say softly, warmth blooming in your own chest.
“How about the day after tomorrow?” he asks, his eyes brightening with relief and anticipation.
You nod, giving him a gentle smile. “Sure.”
His blush deepens, and his grin widens as he waves goodbye, stepping out into the night air. As he heads home, he feels lighter, like a weight has lifted, the warmth of your smile lingering with him, warming him even as the winter wind swirls around.
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Hoseok insisted on watching one of those cheerful Christmas movies, the kind that swells with improbable reunions and holiday cheer, even though you’d told him he didn’t have to—any genre would’ve been fine. But he’d insisted, almost stubbornly, saying that it’s what he wanted. Yet, even as the lights dim and you settle in, you can feel the irony of it: this bright, glittering warmth on screen, and something distant in his gaze that it doesn’t quite reach. 
You’ve got a tub of buttery popcorn between you and sodas on the floor by your feet, but your attention isn’t really on the movie. Something about a girl rediscovering her family…you’ve seen it before, enough times to know every twist and turn by heart. Instead, you focus on the space between you, the openness of your hand resting on the armrest, waiting for him to close the gap. When he does, intertwining his fingers with yours, a soft thrill of warmth lights up your chest. 
He hums contentedly, gently squeezing your fingers, and after a while, his head leans softly against your shoulder, his breathing falling into a slow, steady rhythm. When you glance down, you realize he’s drifted off, and a small smile tugs at your lips. He must be exhausted, though you don’t even know what he does for work, what fills his days with the kind of weight that would make him fall asleep so quickly.
You let him rest, his warmth comforting against your shoulder, and time slips away until the credits roll and the lights blink back on. As he stirs, blinking sleepily and straightening up, a hint of embarrassment flickers across his face, but you brush it off with a reassuring smile, finding that you liked the feeling of him resting against you.
“Want to come back to my bookstore?” you ask as you both step out into the cold night, snowflakes swirling gently around you. Your fingers find his again, as natural as breathing. “We could have a drink. It’s closed for the holidays, so it’d be just the two of us,” you add with a smile, looking up at him.
He yawns, nodding. “I’d really like that.”
You walk together through the snow-dusted streets, laughter mingling with your steps, until you reach the bookstore, keys jingling in your hands as you unlock the door. Inside, the quiet space welcomes you both, the ceiling lit with floating snowflakes casting a soft glow over the shelves and cozy reading nooks. You both shrug off your coats, and you lead him into the back of the store, where the barista machine hums quietly in the corner.
“How about hot cocoa?” you ask, glancing over your shoulder. “It’s a little late for coffee.”
He nods, a soft smile touching his lips as he settles into one of the armchairs. You start grinding cocoa beans, the rich aroma filling the air, and set two festive mugs beneath the machine, watching as it pours thick, velvety cocoa. The air is warm, and somehow you feel more at home in this quiet moment than you have all season, the world outside reduced to the gentle hush of falling snow.
With the cocoa steaming in your hands, you settle into one of the oversized, cloud-soft couches, and he sits across from you, mirroring your small, hesitant smile. The bookstore feels like a world away from the outside, a sanctuary where the soft hum of holiday lights flickers gently, and the scent of chocolate mingles with the faint, comforting smell of old books.
You take a slow sip, letting the warmth fill you. “So,” you ask, voice gentle but direct, “do you want to tell me why you hate Christmas so much?”
He pauses, caught off guard, nearly choking on his own cocoa, and you watch his face flush, caught somewhere between embarrassment and hesitation. Realizing you’ve gone right to the heart of it, you quickly add, “You don’t have to, of course. I’m just…curious. But it’s okay if you’re not ready.”
For a moment, he seems to shrink inward, his face turning soft with a sadness that feels ancient, like a weight he’s carried for too long. He takes a breath that’s almost a shudder, expanding his chest as if even breathing through it hurts.
“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you,” he says finally, his voice so low it’s barely a whisper. “It’s that I’m scared you’ll look at me differently, that I’ll just…bring you down.” His words are vulnerable, stripped bare, trembling with the unspoken.
Reaching out a little, you reassure him, “I won’t. I promise. But really, there’s no pressure. You only have to share what feels right.”
He nods, but there’s something in his gaze that shifts—like he’s waging a silent battle, torn between hiding and the need to unburden himself. He fidgets with his fingers, then places his mug carefully on the table, as though any movement could shatter the quiet around you.
“It’s just…” He hesitates, casting his gaze downward, then continues, “I want to tell you, because…well, only my closest friends know. And I think you deserve to know too, since I’ve been such an ass to you…” he trails off with a nervous laugh, tinged with sadness.
Taking a deep breath, he begins. “It happened when I was seventeen,” he says, voice low and brittle. You set your own mug down, instinctively leaning forward, drawn to the rawness of his words.
“It was Christmas Eve,” he says softly, staring past you, somewhere into the painful fog of memory. “There was a storm—snow swirling thick, icy roads. And…” He pauses, his voice trembling, his words hitching, thick with emotion.
Instinctively, you move over to sit beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as he struggles for composure, his breath shaky. Leaning into your touch, he swallows hard, gathering the words from somewhere deep, each one a fragile release.
“My parents and my sister…” he chokes out, his voice shattering into tears, and you draw him closer, feeling him tremble against you. One of his hands finds yours, his grip tight, holding onto you as though he fears the memory might pull him under.
“They died,” he whispers, and the words break free like a dam bursting. His shoulders shake as the full force of his grief surfaces, raw and unrestrained. He buries his face in his hands, and you gently place a hand on his back, offering the quiet comfort of your presence as he unburdens himself.
He leans into you, surrendering to the weight of years of sorrow. “And it’s all my fault,” he sobs, the words barely discernible through his heaving breaths.
Softly, you murmur, “How do you figure that?” Your voice is low, gentle, as though you’re trying to hold him steady with your words.
“Because…” He trails off, swallowing hard. “I asked them to go out that day. The star on the tree was broken, and I’d wanted everything to be perfect, so they went out just to get a new one. And they never came back.”
His confession lingers in the air, heavy, each word carving deeper into the silence. You pull him close, holding him as he cries, his sobs echoing softly through the quiet bookstore. 
You pull him closer, letting your warmth envelop him like a soft blanket, as if you could shield him from the pain he’s held onto for so long. “But it wasn’t your fault,” you whisper, gently, your words like a balm, “How could it be? They were adults, Hoseok. If they hadn’t wanted to go, they wouldn’t have. You didn’t force them, didn’t ask for a storm. It’s horrible and tragic, yes, and I’m so sorry you’ve had to carry this, but…it’s not your fault.”
A sob breaks from him, raw and filled with years of bottled sorrow. “But it is,” he cries, his voice catching, “If I hadn’t been so insistent about that damn star, if I hadn’t wanted everything to be fucking perfect…”
Tenderly, you tighten your embrace, gently rubbing his back. “But you can’t know that, Hoseok. No one could know.” Your words are soft but sure, reassuring, each one carrying a warmth you hope he can feel. “Sometimes…things just happen, things we can’t control.”
“It’s been over a decade,” he says, his voice a fragile echo. “But every Christmas—every snowstorm, every time I see the lights, I’m right back there. All I see is them, and I hate it.” His voice trembles with anger, grief, and resentment. “I hate the snow, I hate the holidays. That storm, those roads…it’s all ruined for me.” He breaks again, the words torn from him, and you hold him through his tears, letting him release everything he’s held in, feeling each tremor as he cries.
For a while, you just stay there, giving him the space to let the sorrow pour out, letting him lean into you fully. You say nothing, just hold him, until the sobs subside to quiet sniffles. His voice barely a whisper, he murmurs, “I just want them to come back…” and the raw ache in his words tugs at your heart.
Your chest tightens with empathy, the pain he’s carried so vividly there before you. The weight of it all is almost unbearable, and now you see why he’s buried his light under layers of grief for so long. But there’s something else there, too—a longing to break free, if he only knew how.
Finally, you find the words, speaking softly. “Look, Hoseok…I can’t even imagine what you’ve gone through. And it’s unfair, all of it. But you’ve carried this for so long, like a stone around your neck, dragging you down. It’s part of you, yes, but maybe…maybe it doesn’t have to define every part of you forever. What if you could let a little of it go?”
He’s quiet, thinking, eyes still glistening. “I don’t think I can,” he says softly, looking at you as though searching for permission to forgive himself. “Maybe I don’t deserve to be happy…”
You reach for his hand, guiding his gaze to meet yours. “Hoseok,” you say, voice steady but warm, “we all deserve to be happy. We’ve all faced loss and scars that linger, but we don’t have to carry them like this. I’m not saying you need to forget, but…maybe you can let the pain be something else now, something softer, something that blooms instead of weighs you down.”
He looks at you, brow furrowed, as though he’s trying to understand. “Like turning it into something beautiful?” he asks, his voice so low, so vulnerable.
“Yes,” you nod, a small smile breaking through. “Like tending to it, like planting seeds where the pain was, and seeing what beautiful things might grow. Hold onto that pain, but let it bloom into something beautiful rather than letting it scar. Nurture it like a garden, tend to it with care, so that the memories don’t define you, but become parts of you that you can cherish, like petals of a rose you keep alive. New memories, maybe. Or something to honor what you loved about them.”
He looks up, eyes glistening with tears, and yet you can’t help but think he looks so heartbreakingly beautiful like this—vulnerable, raw, his heart laid bare.
He stares into the distance, thinking, his fingers still laced with yours. For the first time, you catch a glimmer of hope in his eyes, fragile but alive. The weight is still there, but something else is there now, too—a softness, a beginning.
“Namjoon told me you used to be like the sun itself, and I think it’s time to let your light shine again. I can see glimpses of that warmth, those pieces of who you were. You deserve happiness, Hoseok. Don’t you think?” Your hand gently cradles his cheek, thumb brushing softly against his skin.
His breath shudders, voice rough and tremulous. “I… I’m not sure.”
You squeeze his hands, a comforting weight. “I’m not saying it will happen overnight. But you deserve the world, and maybe…maybe it’s time to let yourself imagine that.” You search his face, noticing the exhaustion in the redness of his eyes, the weariness clinging to him like a shadow. He’s been carrying his world alone, and it’s wearing him down, thread by thread.
“Listen,” you whisper, “we don’t have to talk about it anymore tonight. You look so tired. How about this—I’ll find some blankets, and we can sleep on the couch, together?” Your arms hold him close, an offer of sanctuary, one he so clearly needs.
He nods, and you rise to gather the blankets, arranging them softly around him before settling beside him. You help him lie down, his head resting on your lap as your fingers drift tenderly through his soft brown hair, tracing gentle circles. Your fingertips graze the shell of his ear, and you feel a delicate shiver ripple through him. Slowly, his breathing steadies, the tension in his face unwinding as you touch his cheek softly. His eyes flutter shut, though a few quiet tears slip free, trailing down the bridge of his nose to rest, shimmering, on your thigh.
“I’m so sorry you lost them,” you murmur, voice almost a breath against the quiet. “I’m so, so sorry. But I’m sure your parents and sister would want to see you smile again, to see you living freely.”
He hums faintly, a soft sound that melts into the stillness, leaning unconsciously into the warmth of your hand. With a tender impulse, you lean down, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek, your lips meeting his skin like a promise. “You’re a beautiful sunflower, Hobi,” you whisper, the words a soft caress.
A small, fragile smile tugs at the corner of his lips, his breaths deepening as he drifts, his body finally surrendering to sleep. Your heart aches for this gentle soul, and yet you feel strength in the quiet resolve settling over you. Though you’ve barely begun to know him, you feel an undeniable pull—to protect, to nurture, to help him find his way back to the light. You want to see him reclaim the happiness he’s buried, for you feel, deep down, that he deserves it more than anyone.
As you press your hand softly against his shoulder, you settle beside him, closing your own eyes, and together, under the soft weight of blankets, you both drift into the quiet peace of sleep.
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His chest feels strangely lighter, as if the weight he’s carried so long has finally loosened its hold. The scent of old paper mingles with a trace of last night’s cocoa, stirring softly around him, and he opens his eyes to find two forgotten mugs, their contents now cold, sitting on the table. Morning light streams through the bookstore’s large windows, casting delicate beams across the room, where tiny particles of dust dance and swirl like winter snowflakes caught in a golden glow.
And then it hits him—he’s in your bookstore. He fell asleep here, his heart laid bare, resting in your gentle embrace. Last night, he poured out his grief, his regrets, his guilt, and you’d held him in the quiet safety of your lap, soothing him with words that linger in the air, as soft as the dawn light now filtering in. He feels a warmth settle in his chest, something lighter and more hopeful taking root, gently nudging the darkness aside.
He turns, catching sight of you still asleep beside him, your lashes fluttering against your cheek in the gentlest rhythm, like the delicate wings of a butterfly resting between flights. You look so serene, so quietly beautiful, and in this moment, he feels his heart expand, filled with a quiet gratitude and a strange, new kind of peace. He isn’t fully healed—not yet—but he feels the faintest beginnings of something brighter, a light beginning to shift within him.
You were right, he realizes. He doesn’t have to carry his grief alone, doesn’t have to let it take root so deeply. His friends had tried to tell him before, but somehow, he’d resisted. With you, though, it felt different. Maybe it’s the way you looked past the jagged edges of his sorrow and saw the flicker of light he thought he’d lost. Maybe it’s the way you listened, without pity, without judgment, your compassion flowing freely, like a balm to his worn-out soul. He feels a rush of quiet reverence—for your kindness, for the safe harbor you offered, for the hope you unknowingly planted in him. And he knows, somehow, he’ll carry this moment with him forever.
You stir softly beneath him, your body stretching as you wake. Your eyes meet his, soft and warm, and in that gentle gaze he feels understood in a way he hadn’t thought possible. You smile, a tender smile that feels like the start of something new.
“I loved our talk yesterday,” you murmur, voice laced with warmth and care. “How are you feeling?”
He hums softly, the morning light catching the hint of a smile on his lips, “I feel… lighter, actually.”
“That’s good. I’m so glad,” you whisper, fingers tracing gently along his cheek, your touch soft and warm. A shiver rolls through him, and he feels goosebumps rise, like your kindness has left its own quiet mark on his skin.
“Thank you,” he murmurs, voice tender and full. “Thank you for listening, for everything… truly.”
You smile, brushing a strand of his hair back with a quiet laugh. “I didn’t do anything—you did that,” you say, your voice a soft tease. 
He chuckles, feeling his heart swell as he sinks a little deeper into your lap, his gaze locked on yours. “You’re good with words,” he replies, leaning into your touch, feeling a warmth he hasn’t felt in so long.
“I read a lot,” you chuckle, fingers weaving gently through his hair, each stroke grounding him more fully into this quiet moment.
He clears his throat, his eyes lifting to meet yours with an unexpected tenderness, “What are you doing tomorrow? On Christmas Eve.”
You pause, a flicker of surprise lighting your eyes before you break into a gentle smile. “Nothing, why?”
A smile spreads across his face, slow and earnest. “I’d really like it if you’d come to my place. I want to make dinner for you, to thank you. For all of this.”
Your eyes soften, glistening with a look he can’t quite decipher, something warm and unspoken that makes his heart beat a little faster. And then, leaning closer, you brush a kiss against his cheek, your lips feather-light and warm.
“I’d love to,” you whisper, and your words, simple as they are, feel like the beginning of something he hadn’t dared hope for.
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It’s Christmas Eve, and the quiet streets are bathed in the soft, amber glow of street lamps, their light dancing on the fresh blanket of snow as you wait for the bus that will carry you to Hoseok’s place. A warmth bubbles up inside you as you think back to yesterday—when you finally glimpsed the beautiful light that has always flickered behind his eyes. That warmth wrapped around you, like a blanket on a cold winter night, and filled your heart with a joy you can’t quite put into words. 
Seated now in the gentle hum of the bus, you press your forehead against the cool glass of the window, watching the world blur past in a whirl of twinkling lights and shadows. Your mind keeps drifting back to Hoseok, that ray of sunshine who’s somehow already become a quiet storm in your chest. You’ve never felt like this for anyone—never this quickly, never this intensely. You know you like him deeply, but there’s so much more to discover. This dinner, you think, could be the start of that journey. 
As the soft strains of Christmas music fill your ears, you imagine what his home might look like—wondering if it would feel as warm and comforting as his presence. The bus slows, and you press the stop button when you realize the next stop is just a heartbeat away from Hoseok’s apartment. The doors open, and you step out into the crisp, dark afternoon, your breath puffing out in delicate clouds as you trudge through the snow, boots crunching with each step toward his building. Finally, you find it. You shake the snow off your boots before making your way up the stairs, your heart fluttering as you ascend to the right floor. You reach his door and knock gently, anticipation coursing through your veins. It’s only moments before the door swings open, and you’re met with an embrace of warmth—both from the cozy glow spilling out from inside and from the inviting scent of something delicious drifting in the air.
Hoseok stands before you, wearing a red Christmas apron, with a pocket embroidered with Santa and snowflakes at the edges. The sight catches you off guard, and you can’t help but smile, your heart swelling in your chest. “Wow,” you begin, taken by surprise, but he grins back, the same joyful light in his eyes. “—Handsome, right?” he finishes your thought with a laugh, and you join in, smiling even brighter. “Yeah,” you laugh, nodding, “That’s exactly what I was going to say.” You slip off your coat and shoes, feeling the warmth of his home wrap around you like a soft embrace.
You look down at your dress, a silky golden thing that rests just above your knees, with the barest hint of your collarbone exposed. Beneath the apron, you catch the outline of his dress shirt, festively adorned with Christmas prints, and the way his dress pants fit him perfectly. Without thinking, you reach out, gently grasping his bicep, surprised by how solid and strong it feels beneath your touch. You open your mouth to speak, to tell him something—anything—but for a moment, the words slip away, leaving you with only the quiet flutter of your heartbeat.
“I used to go all out at Christmas,” Hoseok says, his voice soft, catching your gaze as he notices you watching him. “When my family was still alice… it was kinda our tradition. And,” he pauses, the weight of the memories hanging between you both, “I thought maybe I should replace those dark memories with new ones. Water the flowers, like you suggested.” 
The sincerity in his voice pulls at your heart, and you feel a warmth spread inside you. He really took your rambling words to heart, didn’t he? It’s almost too much, the way he’s reaching for healing, for light. You blink quickly, trying to stop the tears from spilling over—because God, if he keeps this up, you’re not sure how much longer you can hold it together. 
He smiles softly at you, a smile that carries both gratitude and something more, before gently guiding you into his home with a hand resting at the small of your back. “Come in,” he murmurs, as if he’s sharing more than just his space, as if he’s offering you a piece of himself. 
You step inside, and the atmosphere is instantly warm, comforting—like stepping into a dream where all the colors and memories belong exactly where they are. His personal items are scattered thoughtfully around the room, each object, each piece of art, telling a story of the man himself. The walls are adorned with splashes of color, vibrant yet intimate, as if the house breathes with the same life that hums in his veins. It’s the kind of home that makes you smile involuntarily, grounded and cozy, much like him. 
You follow him into the kitchen, small but inviting, its walls holding the scent of simmering food and something more—something like hope. Your stomach rumbles with anticipation as you watch him finish off the last details of the meal, every movement graceful and purposeful. It’s like watching an artist at work, and your senses are overwhelmed by the delicious aroma that fills the air.
He rolls the sleeves of his shirt up with an easy, practiced motion, revealing arms veined and strong—muscles flexing as his hand moves to stir the pan. Your mind drifts for a moment, caught between admiration and the soft, flickering thoughts that begin to dance behind your eyes. His presence feels like the warmth of the sun—comforting, yet powerful.
“Do you want wine?” he asks, his gaze meeting yours as he reaches for a heat-resistant mat to place the pan on. 
“Yeah, but just one glass,” you answer, your voice steady. You don’t want to cloud the clarity you feel in this moment—not today. Not with this quiet intimacy swirling between you two, a pull that feels magnetic, like you’re drawn in by the gravity of his kindness and the warmth of the space he’s shared with you. 
When you step into the dining room, the sight before you takes your breath away. The table is set perfectly—candles flicker gently, casting a soft glow across the room, while a delicate Christmas playlist hums in the background. The ambiance feels like something pulled from a dream, and your heart flutters as you take it all in. 
“You didn’t have to do all this,” you say, your voice quiet with awe, still unable to fully comprehend the effort he’s put into making this evening so special.
Hoseok chuckles softly, a smile curling at the corners of his lips as he drags a stool out for you to sit. “Actually,” he says, placing the food carefully on the table, his eyes warm and earnest, “I had to. It’s the least I can do.” He pours wine into your glass, his fingers brushing the stem gently, and as he looks up at you, something shifts between you both—something that feels like the beginning of a new story.
You blush and smile, warmth blooming inside you, feeling a kind of happiness that only his presence seems to create. It’s a glow that wraps around you like a soft, sunlit blanket, a feeling you know he brings to others when he’s not weighed down by his sorrow. But tonight, Hoseok is different—lighter, freer. He’s like a person emerging from the dark, letting the painful past be nothing more than distant echoes, fading into the background of his life. There’s a spark in his eyes, a lightness to his spirit that wasn’t there yesterday. You know the sadness still lingers in him, but damn, seeing him fight to reclaim joy is nothing short of beautiful.
His movements are more confident now, flowing with a grace that seems to echo his shifting mood. The pain didn’t vanish overnight, but he’s making a conscious choice to let go, to change, and that’s the most powerful thing. It feels like watching someone wake up, piece by piece, from a long and heavy slumber.
You take a sip of your wine, and the quiet hum of contentment fills the space between you. As you begin to eat, the flavors on your tongue are nothing short of heavenly, and you realize—he’s not just kind, not just tender, but he’s an incredible cook too. Your heart swells, and you glance at him, finding his smile—soft, genuine, a reflection of the warmth that’s spilling out from inside him. He’s smiling with his eyes, and it makes you feel elated, like everything in the world has aligned just perfectly. 
Then, you feel something nudge against your foot, warm and gentle, and your gaze drops to see his foot brushing against yours. You can’t help but giggle, a little burst of joy that seems to bubble up from your chest. You drink a little more, letting the wine relax your senses as you continue eating, savoring every bite until you’re almost too full to move.
“This was so delicious, Hobi,” you say, your voice soft, full of admiration, as your hand stretches across the table, finding its way to gently caress his. 
He smiles, his lips curling into a playful smirk as he meets your eyes. “Mh. Thank you,” he murmurs, the words wrapped in warmth.
“But you’re the one who deserves all the thanks and praises,” he adds, his voice thick with sincerity, his gaze never leaving yours. You blink, surprised by the depth of his words, and feel your heart stir with a tenderness you can’t quite explain.
“Me?” you laugh, a little incredulous, the sound light and playful, like you’re both caught in this beautiful moment of connection.
“Yeah,” he nods, his voice low and filled with gratitude, “if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have had the strength to face my pain, to let the old me—the me I thought was lost—come back to life.” 
His words settle in your chest, heavy with truth, and it stirs something deep inside you. 
“Instead of sitting here with you today,” he continues, his voice raw and real, “I’d probably be lying in bed, bitter, angry at the world and everyone in it. But here I am, actually enjoying Christmas. Actually enjoying life again.” 
The rawness of his honesty catches you off guard, and your heart aches with the beauty of it. A few tears well in your eyes, not from sadness, but from the overwhelming sweetness of his words. His gratitude, so pure and so deeply felt, moves you in ways you didn’t expect.
He caresses your hand back, the warmth of his touch sending a ripple of warmth through your chest. “Thank you for guiding me back towards the light,” he whispers, his voice soft yet resolute, the sincerity in it making your heart swell. 
Your eyes flutter, feeling a mixture of gratitude and happiness for him. This is the light you saw the moment you met him—the flicker of hope beneath the surface of his pain—and now, with gentle patience, he’s found his way back to it. To see him embrace it, to see him live in it again, is nothing short of breathtaking. And in that moment, you realize just how incredibly sexy that is—this strength, this vulnerability wrapped in his quiet confidence. 
Without thinking, driven by the pull of something deeper, you lean in across the table, closing the distance between you, and your lips meet his in a kiss so tender it almost feels like the world stops. 
For a fleeting second, there’s hesitation in him—surprise, perhaps—but then his hands cradle your cheeks, his fingers slipping into your hair, and he moans into the kiss, pulling you closer, deepening it. 
Your heart races, the connection between you sparking like wildfire. You think, with a flash of clarity, that it was only ever a matter of time before this moment arrived, before your lips touched in the way they were always meant to. 
When you pull apart, his brown eyes are dark, pupils blown wide with desire, as are yours, and you feel the heat between you intensify, every nerve in your body alive with the electricity of the moment. 
He leans in again, lips brushing against yours as his breath quickens, and you feel something stir within you, something deep and primal, fluttering in your chest. 
He pulls back again, and his voice is laced with desire, hushed but intense. “Do you want to see my bed? It’s nice and soft,” he asks, his gaze still smoldering.
You blush, the heat rising to your cheeks, but you can’t help but laugh—a breathy sound, teasing and full of playful mischief. “Yes, but I’m more into the harder beds.”
He raises an eyebrow, his gaze sharpening into something more dangerous, more magnetic. “You are, are you? So you like it hard?” His voice is low, a dangerous edge to it now, and it makes your breath catch in your throat. 
“Maybe,” you tease, batting your lashes as your heart begins to race. You rise from the stool, the air between you thick with unspoken promises.
“Which way to your bedroom?” you ask, your voice barely more than a whisper, the heat between you palpable, electric. You can already feel the pull of him, the temptation of what’s to come.
He stands up, his hand reaching out for yours, and you feel the warmth of his touch ignite something inside of you. “This way,” he murmurs, his fingers threading through yours as he leads you through the tiny hallway.
Every step feels heavier than the last, the anticipation building like a slow crescendo, your pulse quickening with every heartbeat. The air feels thick with tension, charged, like a storm ready to break. As you step into his bedroom, the world outside seems to disappear, and all that exists is him—his presence, his touch, the way he’s looking at you with that fire in his eyes.
Before you can take another breath, he pulls you into his arms, one hand sliding behind your neck, the other settling on the small of your back. His lips crash into yours, deep and smoldering, igniting the very air between you. You melt into him, your heart pounding in your chest, your body aching for the closeness, for everything that’s about to unfold.
His tongue dances with yours, a teasing, intoxicating rhythm that sends shivers through your bones, a soft, helpless moan slipping past your lips and into his. The air between you is electric, alive with a pulse that pulls you both closer until clothes become mere shadows cast aside, and your chests rise and fall in time, breaths mingling as one. He guides you down onto the bed, and you gasp, bouncing softly against the mattress, a laugh escaping you—only to dissolve as he hovers above, his gaze dark and consuming, savoring every curve, every inch as though you were his finest vintage.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he murmurs, his voice thick, reverent, as his hands trace along your body, leaving trails of fire in their wake. You shiver, the warmth of his touch awakening every inch, every nerve, until your skin hums under his fingertips. His lips descend, his breath warm against your skin as he moves lower, his gaze holding yours in a promise, a delicious anticipation that pools and aches within you.
“Can I touch you, make you come on my tongue?” he whispers, his voice low, pleased. You nod, breath hitching, and when you gasp a desperate ‘yes,’ he presses deeper, spreading you open, his lips finding your pussy, soft and warm, as a shudder rushes through you like a wave.
He doesn't hesitate, diving in, his tongue moving in slow, devastating circles that steal your breath, exploring you with the kind of hunger that unravels you. You gasp, hands tangling in his hair as he wraps his arms around your thighs, holding you steady, his own groans vibrating against your skin as his mouth moves against you, relentless, devoted. The wet sounds echo, shamelessly intimate, drawing you closer to that edge, your pulse quickening as his nose brushes your clit, a shockwave of pleasure sparking up your spine.
Your fingers knot into his hair, tugging, a fevered plea spilling from your lips as he drives you higher. A skilled flick, a press, and your hips roll forward, chasing the pleasure he's offering, breath coming fast and shallow. “Hobi,” you gasp, feeling the tidal pull of release, the wave cresting just at the brink. “I’m so close, I—”
He pulls back only briefly, his voice a husky command. “Come for me, sweetheart. Let me taste it.”
The endearment sends a dizzying rush through you, a warmth that winds tight in your core, pushing you over the edge. With a final swirl of his tongue, you fall, your muscles clenching around him as his name shatters from your lips, your body arching, pulsing with every wave that rolls through you. He doesn't let up, holding you through every tremor, his mouth and fingers steady, pulling every last bit of pleasure from you.
When your breath finally slows, he trails kisses up your body, lingering over the swell of your hips, your stomach, each touch a worship. His mouth finds the hollow of your throat, then your jaw, his face gleaming with your warmth as he murmurs, “Absolutely breathtaking.”
“That tickles,” you giggle as his lips trail across your cheek, finally capturing your mouth in a tender, lingering kiss. There’s a faint taste of yourself on him, but it’s lost in the intoxicating warmth of his presence; you’re drunk on him, submerged in the depth of his touch, his scent, the pull of his breath against yours. It’s astonishing how deeply you feel for him already—as if you've known the quiet rhythm of his soul and the dance of his heart for years, not days that turned to weeks.
“Was it good?” he murmurs, his eyes bright and searching, holding a playful tenderness that only he seems to bring out in you.
“It was incredible,” you pant, your body slowly easing down from the dizzying high, a blissful afterglow humming through every inch of you.
“Then let me give you another,” he says with a teasing glint, the promise glistening in his voice as he leans closer.
You blink, surprised, a trace of doubt slipping through your words. “Are you sure?” It’s not that you question his skill—he’s just shown you what he’s capable of—but you’ve never been able to reach that edge twice in such quick succession.
His expression softens, his eyes tracing over your face with quiet understanding. “You’ve never orgasmed twice in a row, have you?” He asks, his voice gentle, knowing. You bite your lip, nodding, your cheeks warm.
“Then lean back, relax,” he whispers, a warmth threading through his voice that feels like a promise waiting to unfold. “Let me do all the work.”
He guides you to sit up, leaning comfortably against the headboard, and settles in beside you, close enough that his heat seems to melt into your own. With a soft, lingering kiss, his lips capture yours again, while his fingers trail a path down your body, finding the sensitive peak of your breast and teasing your nipple with a gentle, rhythmic squeeze that draws a moan from deep within you. His hand moves skillfully, squeezing, massaging, until your skin tingles beneath his touch, each sensation like a spark flickering into life.
When his hand finally moves lower, tracing the curve of your thigh, you’re already quivering with anticipation. His fingers find that sensitive spot between your legs, his touch feather-light but insistent as he circles your clit, the glide slick and warm, a sensation that sends tremors through your body. A soft moan escapes your lips, melting into his as his finger slips inside you, a slow, steady rhythm building as he moves in and out, each motion drawing you closer to that simmering heat just waiting to burst.
His lips never leave yours, each kiss drawing you deeper into the haze of his touch, your body moving in sync with his, rolling against him as his hand works its magic. You’re already beginning to unravel, each touch, each whisper against your skin making you feel like you’re on the verge of combustion. Not quite over the edge yet, but right there, teetering, every nerve alive, every inch of you utterly and completely his.
“Mmmhh,” he breathes against your lips, his teeth grazing your bottom lip before pulling away to meet your gaze. His eyes lock onto yours, dark and inviting, filled with a warmth that makes your pulse quicken.
“Ah, Hobi,” you pant, your hips instinctively moving in sync with his hand, matching each subtle movement with a desperate rhythm.
“You like that, huh?” he teases, his voice soft but laced with a confidence that sends a shiver through you.
“I do,” you moan, breathy and unguarded. “You can… add another.”
He obliges, slipping a second finger beside the first, the added stretch sending a spark of pleasure rippling through you, and you can’t help the delighted mewl that escapes your lips. He moves with a steady, knowing rhythm, his fingers curling, finding just the right spots, each motion igniting something deeper, pulling you toward that familiar crest of pleasure. For the first time, you believe—maybe you could actually come again.
Your head falls back, resting against the headboard, and he seizes the moment, his mouth tracing along the exposed curve of your neck. His lips, warm and firm, press kisses to your skin, each one sending a wave of electricity through you, and as his teeth graze just beneath your ear, you giggle softly, your body instinctively clenching around his fingers.
“You’re so tight,” he whispers, his breath hot in your ear, each word brushing against your skin like velvet, sending delightful shivers coursing through you. “Think you can handle a third finger?”
Your breath hitches, a soft moan escaping as you murmur, “Maybe… Are you getting me ready for that monster cock of yours?” you tease, voice wavering with laughter and heat.
He laughs, the sound low and deep, and slides a third finger inside, his mouth brushing your ear as he murmurs, “I’ve got to make sure your sweet, tiny pussy can take me.”
The words strike something in you, a spark that seems to light you from within. Your body welcomes the stretch, feeling fuller, each movement of his fingers heightening the tension building inside you, every push and curl driving you closer to the edge. You’re lost, breathless, a soundless cry caught in your throat as his thumb grazes your clit, sending you spiraling, stars dancing in your vision as pleasure wells up from within.
“Are you close again, sweetheart?” he whispers, voice thick with desire, his fingers moving faster, his thumb circling in a way that’s both messy and perfect, igniting every nerve.
“Yes,” you gasp, the word more a breath than a sound, your hips rolling in time with his hand as he dips his head to your neck, then your cheek, each touch gentle, yet searing. He catches a stray tear of ecstasy on his lips, and then he finds your mouth, kissing you deeply, his body pressing against yours, chest against your breasts, the closeness amplifying every sensation. The world fades around you, narrowing to just the two of you, to his fingers, his lips, his warmth, everything feeling achingly right.
Before you know it, you’re tumbling over the edge, your body pulsing around his fingers as he moves within you, steady, guiding you through every wave of your release. You’re left breathless, panting, as the pleasure washes over you, his fingers still moving, coaxing every last tremor from you, until you’re spent, lost in the warmth of his embrace.
“See?” he grins, his eyes glinting with satisfaction. “I told you I could make you come again.” He leans in, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek as he slowly withdraws his fingers, leaving you feeling empty, your body still pulsing in the delicious aftershocks of his touch. He holds his slick fingers in front of you, and for a moment, you think he’ll ask you to taste yourself. But instead, he surprises you, lifting his fingers to his own mouth, his lips parting as he sucks them clean, his gaze locked onto yours. The sight sends a rush of heat through you, and your body responds instinctively, clenching at the image of his self-indulgent pleasure.
“That was… incredibly hot,” you murmur, still breathless, your hand finding his chest as you push him gently back against the headboard. He gives a soft, surprised laugh but lets you take the lead, his body relaxed, trusting. His legs part under your touch, his cock heavy and hard between them, and you feel a rush of excitement knowing he’s been waiting, building up desire, just for you.
“Oh, okay,” he breathes, his voice breaking into a pant as you lean in. You spit into your hand, wrapping it firmly around his dick, feeling the warmth of him under your palm, the slight pulse of anticipation. His eyes close, his head tilting back, a moan slipping from his lips as you begin, your hand gliding over his length, making sure every inch is slick and ready for you.
Without hesitation, you bring your mouth down to him, taking him in fully, your lips stretching around him as you ease down. He gasps, his body jerking slightly, unprepared for the sudden depth, and you stay there, breathing steadily, relaxing as you let him fill you completely. Above you, he murmurs something unintelligible, a string of curses and soft sighs that only drive you further.
You pull back, letting him slip from your lips with a soft, wet sound, the cool air hitting his skin as he opens his mouth, stunned. “Damn, Y/N, I—”
But before he can finish, you take him in again, his words dissolving into a low groan as you move, finding a rhythm, hollowing your cheeks around him as you hum, feeling him pulse with each sound. The slight salt of his precum lingers on your tongue, a taste that feels both intimate and thrilling. His hands find your head, fingers threading into your hair, and you feel him tense above you, fighting for control. But then his grip tightens, and he pushes you down gently, deeper, a raw, breathless whisper escaping him.
“Fuck,” he pants, his voice breaking as you take him all the way in again, your eyes watering slightly, the warmth of him filling you completely. He presses his palms to your cheeks, drawing you up, meeting you with a hungry kiss, his mouth capturing yours in a fervor that leaves you both breathless, your bodies pressed close as if to savor every last taste, every last touch.
“You’re incredible,” he whispers, pressing a lingering kiss to your lips, his eyes meeting yours, deep pools of desire and awe, the kind of look that sends warmth pooling low in your belly.
You giggle, shifting down the bed and tugging at his legs, playfully coaxing him to lie flat beneath you. As he settles back, you crawl over him, gazing down, feeling the heat between you like a magnetic pull. Slowly, you lean down, capturing his lips, letting the kiss deepen until it feels like you’re both tumbling into something endless.
When you pull back, your voice soft, you ask, “Are you okay with doing it raw?” His face flushes, his eyes darting to the side for a moment, vulnerable, unguarded. “If you have condoms, that’s fine too… I’m clean, and—”
He interrupts, his words stumbling. “It’s fine. I—It’s been a long time for me, but… it’s not like I haven’t… I mean, I’m not a virgin… it’s just been a while since—”
You press a finger to his lips, silencing him with a soft smile, your other hand resting on the warmth of his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat. “I don’t care,” you murmur, eyes half-lidded with desire. “I just want you. Right here, right now.”
He inhales deeply, his chest expanding under your hand before he breathes out, a quiet “Mkay.”
That’s all you need. With a slow, deliberate motion, you swing your leg over his hips, settling yourself above him, your hand finding him, guiding his dick to you. Gently, you press yourself against him, letting the head of his cock tease you, a tantalizing friction that makes his face tighten with a mixture of pleasure and impatience.
“Don’t tease,” he pants, his voice a husky whisper.
“Says the master of teasing,” you quip back with a grin, and finally, you begin to lower yourself onto him, savoring each exquisite inch as he fills you, stretching you with an overwhelming, delicious pressure. Every nerve ignites as you sink down, hands splayed on his chest, his skin hot and firm beneath your palms. His eyes stay locked on yours, dark and hungry, and as you begin to roll your hips, a soft moan escapes you—he feels so perfect.
“God, you’re so big,” you murmur, voice wavering as you ride him, your movements picking up a steady rhythm, each glide smooth and effortless, your body still sensitive and wet from the pleasure he’s already given you.
“You look so beautiful on top of me,” he breathes, his voice thick with awe as he watches you, his gaze tracing the way your body moves, the rise and fall of your breasts as you ride him. His words make your pulse race, and your body clenches around him in response, your hips picking up speed, moving faster, deeper, chasing that place inside you where everything blurs into pure sensation.
Leaning forward, you press your lips to his neck, leaving a trail of kisses, your mouth finding a spot just below his jaw where you suck softly, marking him as yours. He groans, his hands gripping your hips tighter, fingers digging into your skin, pulling you closer as if he can’t get enough, his need written in every small movement.
When your lips return to his, he kisses you fiercely, and you slow your hips, grinding against him with deep, rolling movements that leave you both breathless, the friction between you a heady, delicious ache. His hands hold you with a greed that makes your skin tingle, his grip firm and possessive, as though he’s trying to savor every second, every feeling. 
He begins to thrust up into you, his movements sudden yet electrifying, each stroke catching you off guard in the most thrilling way. A gasp escapes your lips, raw and breathless.
“Ah, fuck,” you pant against his ear, your voice a broken whisper.
“Good?” he murmurs, his tone low, teasing.
“Mhm, yes,” you moan, your voice trembling as his hands pull you down, anchoring you to him, while his hips drive up to meet yours with an intensity that leaves you breathless. Each thrust sends a delicious shock through you, his cock filling you so deeply that you feel entirely claimed, entirely his.
“Let me flip you over,” he pants, and with a strength that feels effortless, he shifts you onto your back without ever leaving your body. Your legs wrap instinctively around him, locking him in place as he plunges deeper, each thrust building a rhythm that’s quick, relentless. Your hands fall back, palms open beside your head as he holds you there, his hips moving in an unyielding rhythm that sends you spiraling, your vision blurring with pleasure.
Above you, he’s sweating, his chest heaving as he breathes out, “Think you can come again?”
“I don’t know,” you whisper, voice barely a breath, each word trembling with the anticipation building low in your belly.
“Let’s find out,” he replies, his voice thick with determination. He leans down, capturing one of your nipples in his mouth, his teeth grazing the sensitive peak as he sucks, sending a fresh wave of heat through you. His thrusts remain deep, unyielding, each movement pressing against your most sensitive spot, and you feel yourself unraveling, piece by piece, as his scent surrounds you, grounding you in him.
He moves to the other nipple, and as his lips close around it, your hands find his hair, fingers threading through the soft strands, pulling him closer, feeling the delicious pull of another climax gathering, stronger, more overwhelming.
“I think… I think I’m gonna come again,” you gasp, every nerve alive with the approaching edge, feeling yourself build higher and higher, almost unbearably.
He hums against your breast, the vibration rippling through you, and when his teeth graze your sensitive skin, your body seizes, your pussy clenching around him—hard, locking him deep as your vision whites out in a blinding rush of sensation. The world blurs to nothing, a soft ringing filling your ears as your chest heaves. You dimly register his eyes on you, his gaze intense, enthralled, as you let go completely, surrendering to the pleasure.
The orgasm rolls through you in waves, endless, consuming, as he continues to thrust, drawing every last bit of sensation from you. It feels like it will never stop, his body perfectly attuned to yours, his movements relentless, and you’re left breathless, utterly taken by him, lost in the exquisite pull of his touch.
“Oh my—fuck,” he rasps, his voice catching as he stills, releasing himself into you with a shuddering breath. His chest heaves, spent and utterly captivated, and as he catches his breath, he murmurs, “Shit, I didn’t ask if I could come inside you.”
You tilt your head, feeling a tired, blissful warmth spread through you. “It’s okay,” you reply, your voice soft and slurred, still drifting in the hazy warmth of pleasure. Despite your exhaustion, your body continues to pulse around him, a lingering hold, like it’s reluctant to let him go.
He chuckles, a low, rumbling sound that vibrates through both of you. “You’re still squeezing me,” he says, giving a few gentle, lingering thrusts to help you both ride out the aftershocks, savoring every last sensation.
“This… has never happened before,” you murmur, a soft giggle escaping as the warmth fades and your body begins to relax. Finally, the last traces of tension melt away, leaving you both drowsy and satisfied.
“I hope it was good for you,” he says, letting his weight rest against you, his chest pressed to yours as his breathing steadies.
You smile, running your fingers through his hair. “It was incredible,” you whisper, a tenderness in your voice that makes him chuckle softly. He nestles his face against your collarbone, eyes closed, sinking fully into the afterglow.
“I’m glad,” he murmurs, his voice a low, warm rumble against your skin. “It was incredible for me too.” For a moment, the two of you lie there, basking in the quiet peace between breaths, in the warmth of skin on skin. He shifts slightly, resting his head on your chest, and you feel his arms wrap tighter around you.
“I could lie here forever,” he breathes, his voice soft and content.
You giggle, brushing a thumb over his shoulder. “Sounds nice, but you’re just a little bit heavy,” you tease, your voice trailing off with a sleepy laugh. “But… Can I stay? I’m so tired, and I really don’t want to go outside in the cold snow.”
He draws you closer, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple, his lips brushing over your skin. “I don’t want you to leave, either. Stay. Sleep. And in the morning… I’ll make sure to fuck you real good all over again.” He tilts your chin up, sealing his promise with a warm, lingering kiss that leaves you feeling lightheaded, even now.
“That,” you sigh, smiling as you close your eyes, “sounds perfect.”
Slowly, he slips out of you, and though you feel the absence, he’s back almost immediately with a warm cloth. His hands are gentle, his touch soft as he lifts your legs to clean you with careful attention, leaving a trail of warmth where he touches. You hum, your body responding to his tenderness, and he smiles, brushing a kiss to your knee as he finishes.
“Do you want to sleep in a shirt?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he watches you start to drift off.
You shake your head, smiling sleepily. “No, I’m too tired to move… just come and spoon me,” you murmur, your voice already fading as you feel yourself slipping into sleep.
“Naked?” he teases, eyebrows raised with a hint of mischief.
You smirk, stretching out your words, “Yeah… unless that makes you uncomfortable?”
“Not in the least,” he replies, flashing a cheeky grin before slipping into bed beside you. He slides in behind you, pulling the covers up over both of you as if sealing you in a cocoon of warmth and comfort. His body, warm and steady against yours, is like an anchor, and within moments, the world fades away, and you’re sound asleep, cradled in his embrace.
Morning comes gently, with the soft tickle of Hoseok’s breath grazing your neck, sending a delicious shiver down your spine as you begin to stir. You shift slightly, and he wakes, nuzzling close to you, his lips pressing a sleepy kiss to your shoulder.
“Good morning,” he murmurs, voice rich and low.
You chuckle, turning your head slightly to face him. “Good morning… and Merry Christmas.”
He yawns, then his face lights up with a lazy, warm smile. “Merry Christmas,” he says, voice filled with a happiness that feels both new and deeply familiar, like something cherished but long forgotten. The two of you laugh softly, as if sharing a secret, wrapped in the fullness of each other.
You wonder if he’s ever spent Christmas with anyone since his family passed, but something tells you not to ask—not when everything feels so gentle and good. His hand drifts down your body, his fingers finding the curve of your hip, settling on you possessively, and giving you a playful squeeze.
“Can you turn around?” he whispers, a subtle seriousness beneath his tone. “I want to ask you something.”
You shift to face him, and it’s like the morning light itself is gazing back at you—he’s radiant, his smile warm and glowing, spilling over with something tender and unspoken. For a heartbeat, you’re breathless, marveling at how a man could look this luminous, this achingly beautiful, as though he’s sunlight made flesh.
“What do you want to ask me?” you murmur, your own voice soft, a smile tugging at your lips as you reach to gently brush a strand of hair from his forehead.
He takes a slow, deep breath, his gaze twinkling with a mix of happiness and something bolder. “Would you… be my not fake girlfriend?” he asks, eyes dancing with playful mischief, though you can tell he’s holding his breath.
You can’t help but laugh, fingers threading through his hair. “So… you mean, a regular girlfriend?” you tease, tapping your chin and pretending to ponder it, though your heart already knows the answer.
He nods, grinning but waiting, his eyes fixed on yours, full of hope.
Without another word, you lean in, your lips finding his in a kiss that’s both deep and tender, lingering as if to say all the things words can’t quite hold. When you finally pull back, his eyes are wide, gaze soft as though he’s still catching his breath.
“Yes,” you whisper, a smile lighting up your face, “I want to be your not fake girlfriend.”
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→ Permanent taglist: @nora12379 @jeonsbabygirlsworld @fancypeacepersona @ktownshizzle @pjmxxjm @ajoonniice @kookiewithluv
→ requested taglist: @nora12379 @back2bluesidex @joonsmagicshop @hobi-love @bangtan-tee-86 @itsmina29 @vintageroses10 @hoseoksluna @knjjjk @ktownshizzle @angellekookie @miksancheese
→ Author’s endnote: so… how are we feeling after riding this emotional rollercoaster of all the feels™? Are we okay? Did it wreck you just a little? Or were you like, “meh, this sucks”? Be honest—I can take it (I think) 😅 I may or may not have poured way too much of myself into Hobi, and then used OC as a therapy session to bandage my own emotional wounds 😂 Why do I do this? Every. Single. Time. But hey, at least we’re all healing together, right? 💜 Anyway, I really, really hope you enjoyed this one. Tell me all your thoughts, feelings, and maybe even your favorite moment—it means the world to me! 🫂
© @/kingofbodyrolls 2024 // Please don’t copy or repost! You are more than welcome to reblog it, leave a comment or ask me anything about the story 🥰
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weasleyreidstyles · 1 year ago
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Serendipity Masterlist!
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series status: ongoing
summary: it was only meant to be a purely transactional relationship. he would help her strengthen her abilities in return for her getting his friends out of his father's nasty path. he didn't mean to fall for her, but loving her was the easiest thing in his dark world.
“serendipity is the phenomenon of discovering something interesting or valuable by chance”
pairings: mattheo riddle x fem!ravenclaw reader; platonic!slytherins x fem!reader; platonic!golden trio x fem!reader
no use of Y/N, but your general nickname is Meadow. All characters are aged up to be over 18. and Bellatrix isn't Mattheo's mother in this fic (just fyi)
general warning(s): 18+ content, angst, fluff, some canon compliance, some canon divergence, typical wizarding world violence, war, torture, drugging, hospitals, familial problems, mean!harry, mean!ron....
** indicates smut warning
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~∞~ chapter one
chapter summary: on the trainride to your sixth year, your friends give you a proposition that you can't refuse.
~∞~ chapter two
chapter summary: it's your first day back as a sixth year student. Classes are more intense and your first lesson with Mattheo ensues.
~∞~ chapter three
chapter summary: the first Hogsmeade trip of the year has a rather unpleasant ending.
~∞~ chapter four
chapter summary: after you end up confined to the Hospital Wing, you're surprised when Professor Dumbledore pays you a visit.
~∞~ chapter five
chapter summary: Mattheo has been avoiding you. You find and confront him after a frustrating week.
~∞~ chapter six **
chapter summary: the growing tension between you and Mattheo snaps. He reveals something about yourself that you has scarcely any prior knowledge of.
~∞~ chapter seven
chapter summary: joyful dinner parties and a switch in point of view. Two juxtaposing starts to the christmas holidays.
~∞~ chapter eight **
chapter summary: you're given plenty of revelations: all equally as daunting as the other.
~∞~ chapter nine
chapter summary: Ginny ambushes you in the library and Ron's birthday is off to a delirious start.
~∞~ chapter ten
chapter summary: in the aftermath of Ron's poisoning, Harry learns a thing or two about where your loyalties lie when he overhears your private conversation with the headmaster.
~∞~ chapter eleven
chapter summary: intent on avoiding him, you underestimate just how desperate Mattheo is to be around you.
~∞~ chapter twelve
chapter summary: new friendships are formed and you finally learn to control your abilities. Mattheo comes to a life altering realisation.
~∞~ chapter thirteen **
chapter summary: idk how to summarise this but i will say it's pure smut...enjoy
~∞~ chapter fourteen
chapter summary: friendships are rekindled and you save Draco from certain death in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, igniting your powers in the process.
~∞~ chapter fifteen
chapter summary: now fully recovered, Draco has a task to complete. The fate of the Wizarding World hangs in the precipice of his actions.
~∞~ chapter sixteen
chapter summary: after a startling and gutting discovery. secrets are revealed and alliances are questioned as Voldemort's tyranny begins to fester into the beginnings of another war.
*invisible string fits into the plot here!!*
~∞~ chapter seventeen
chapter summary: Dumbledore's funeral reveals new allies as you navigate a world without its protector.
~∞~ chapter eighteen
chapter summary: with his new role as a secret spy of the Order, Mattheo begins to grapple with the consequences of the horrors that occur at his father's hand.
~∞~ chapter nineteen
chapter summary: there's a spy in The Order and you make a decision that Mattheo is vocally against in every way.
~∞~ chapter twenty
chapter summary:
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series oneshots/headcannons:
~∞~ tulips & starlight – valentines day drabble
~∞~ serendipity hcs (mattheo) – a glimpse at his life pre sixth year
~∞~ invisible string – bonus scene from chapter 16 **
~∞~ snippets of navigating fifth year with fred weasley
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series taglist:
message me or comment to be added :)
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all works are my own (2025©️weasleyreidstyles), do not copy, translate or repost.
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jaybird1306 · 25 days ago
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Last month, England and Wales took the first step towards legalising assisted dying (a separate bill is under consideration in Scotland, while Northern Ireland is described as “left behind” on the issue). After a five hour debate in Parliament, MPs voted by 330 to 275 in favour of the The Terminally Ill Adults (End of Life) Bill. As it stands, the bill would allow terminally ill adults with an expected six months left to live to end their own lives. They would have to make two separate declarations, signed by either themselves or a proxy (who can be someone who has known them for two years or someone of “good standing” in the community), and their eligibility would have to be confirmed by two doctors and a High Court judge.
The vote to approve this bill is being presented by supporters of the right to assisted death as a victory for dignity, compassion and bodily autonomy. The ultimate in the right to choose. And on these bases you might assume that I am one of those people. After all, I do believe in bodily autonomy. I hope it goes without saying that I believe in dignity and compassion in death as in life. And, of course, I believe fervently in the right to choose what happens to your own body.
But rather than these beliefs leading me to support this bill, they are in fact the reason that I have my doubts. Let me explain.
Like most good liberals, when I historically thought at all about assisted dying I considered myself to be in favour of it — although admittedly without having thought through any of the details. There is no doubt whatsoever that current end of life care leaves far too many people suffering a painful and undignified end. There is also no doubt that some people, out of fear of such an end, have ended their lives earlier than they might otherwise have chosen to, while they still had the ability to travel to Dignitas in Switzerland. Family members have faced the choice of letting their loved one travel and die alone in a foreign country, or to go with them and face the risk of prosecution on their return. None of this is humane. And legalising assisted dying seems like an obvious way to address these issues. That, in any case, was what I historically thought.
But a few years ago, doubts were introduced in my mind when I was a judge on the Royal Society of Literature’s Christopher Bland Prize. One of the books submitted to us was a memoir by Alastair Santhouse, a consultant neuropsychiatrist at The Maudsley Hospital in London. The book, Head First: A Psychiatrist’s Stories of Mind and Body, didn’t make the shortlist in the end, but it did make a lasting impact on me, most notably on my opinion of assisted dying.
Santhouse opens his section on the topic by recounting his first experience of a practice he was later to discover was so common it had a name: “granny dumping.” That is, the depositing of an unwanted elderly relative (the name suggests usually a female relative — we’ll come back to this) at a hospital over Christmas. The elderly woman in question here was brought in by her son and daughter-in-law who told Santhouse, “She just isn't right,” before leaving and turning off their phones. On her own, the woman, now in tears, told Santhouse there was nothing wrong with her. “They just don’t want me over Christmas.”
This episode may shock you as it did me. The thought of doing such a thing to my own mother causes me physical pain in my stomach and a lump in my throat. I simply cannot bear it. But, says Santhouse, the medical profession quickly disabused him of his “notions of people always behaving honourably or having respect for the elderly.” And it is his decades of experience, his repeated witnessing of this lack of honour and respect for older people, that makes him so implacably opposed to assisted dying.
While some may have taken a calm and rational choice to end their lives, there are an unquantifiable number of people who may be pressured or coerced into doing so. […] As they approach the end of their lives, people feeling unwell and scared can experience a pressure, spoken or implied, to let their families collect the inheritance that they would otherwise not get if they had to pay for medical or nursing home fees. They may also feel a pressure to release their families from the burden of caring for them. Vulnerable, frightened patients may only feel loved, accepted and valued by their families if they take the decision to end their lives by assisted suicide. — Santhouse (2021) pp. 206-7
As my parents have aged I too have witnessed some of this lack of honour and respect for older people in action. For example the time an impatient male carer made my strong, capable, fiercely independent mother cry when she was, in the immediate aftermath of a hip operation, feeling none of those things. I have also seen how quickly someone who is strong, capable and fiercely independent can suddenly become scared, uncertain and vulnerable when they lose their independence, even if, as with my mother, it was only temporary. It is far from unbelievable that someone in this state could be quite easily coerced into agreeing to end their own life. Rather, it is frighteningly believable. Indeed I personally know of at least one case where someone felt pressured (to my knowledge never overtly vocalised, but as Santhouse points out, this pressure does not need to be spoken to be felt) into arranging their own death, before at the last minute changing their mind. How many others have simply gone through with it?
Well, according to a recent report on assisted dying, “mercy killings” and failed suicide pacts, that is a question for which we do not have an answer and nor are we likely to get one any time soon. Written by the think-tank “The Other Half, the “Safeguarding women in assisted dying” report notes the “secrecy” that is “built into the latest assisted dying proposals in the UK.”
This is also true of countries thought to be exemplars like Oregon and the Australian states. In Oregon, death certificates do not include a note of assisted dying. All provider information on assisted deaths is deleted after the annual report is prepared. This simple data report does not, and would not, reveal the kind of abuses we fear here. In Canada, there are stories now emerging of families who have tried to prevent their relative being given MAID [medical assistance in dying] —as they believe they are not terminally ill. Families cannot get access to medical records to understand if their relative was coerced. The state protects itself and those who are involved in delivering death. — The Other Half (2024)
The abuse the authors of this report in particular fear is state-delivered domestic homicide — and not without good reason. Although the UK inexplicably only started including over 75s in domestic abuse statistics in 2020, we know that elder abuse is far from uncommon. We also know that women live more years than men in ill health, and that having a disability doubles a woman’s risk of being domestically abused. The law in England and Wales has also recently recognised suicide as an outcome of domestic abuse (indeed, data suggests it may be more common even than homicide) and has outlawed the “rough sex defence” through which men who killed their sexual partner via strangulation achieved leniency in prosecution and sentencing.
We cannot claim therefore to be ignorant of the clear vulnerabilities women face, nor of capacity of violent men to exploit the law to justify their abuse. And yet despite this knowledge, the potential for these laws to be used in the furtherance of violence against women has been shamefully absent from the assisted dying debate.
And not just here in Britain. The report highlights that most countries that have legalised assisted dying don’t even consider domestic abuse in their safeguards (which are mostly concerned with will beneficiaries), let alone collect or publish any data on the issue. Meanwhile, assisted dying campaigners in the UK have championed two male mercy killers with a history of domestic violence, one of whom had previously been imprisoned for bludgeoning his second wife with a mallet.
The result of this data gap on domestic abuse and assisted dying is that it’s hard to quantify exactly how widespread the problem is. We do have some indications, however. We know that in Canada, women “seem 2 times more likely to seek MAID track 2—which allows for those with non ‘reasonably foreseeable’ deaths to die” — that is, women who are not terminally ill. We know in Belgium that women dominate the figures of those given “psychiatric euthanasia.” Why are these psychologically troubled women so much more likely to seek death than their male counterparts? The data is silent on this issue, and the states in question seem in no hurry to uncover the reason behind the sex discrepancy.
In the Bill as it currently stands in England and Wales, assisted death for the mentally unwell would not be an immediate issue, since the law would apply only to terminally ill patients — but the example of countries that have gone before us shows how easily and quickly the concept of “terminal illness” can be and has been stretched.
…it is estimated that now 3 per cent of Belgian and Dutch assisted deaths are for psychiatric disorder. Psychiatric illness is not usually terminal and suicidal impulses are often part of the illness itself. To have a state-sanctioned way for such people to end their lives should be a cause of concern for everyone.
One study showed that 50 per cent of Dutch psychiatric patients asking to die had a personality disorder* (a very unstable diagnosis with symptoms sensitive to social pressures), a figure similar to that in Belgium. Twenty per cent had never been hospitalized because of mental health problems (which calls into question how severe they are) and, in 56 per cent of cases, loneliness and social isolation was thought to be an important factor. This in turn raises the question as to whether assisted suicide is being used instead of proper social and mental health care. Perhaps the most troubling statistic in the study was that in 12 per cent of cases in the Netherlands, the three assessors had not agreed unanimously on the decision, and yet the assisted death went ahead anyway. — Santhouse (2021) p. 209
This final statistic is echoed in a finding from The Other Half report, which notes that in Western Australia, guidance states that “feeling a burden” is meant to be a red flag for assessors determining a patient’s eligibility. But despite “more than a third of those approved reporting they felt a burden, Western Australian medics decided that everyone who applied for VAD was eligible in acting voluntarily and not being subject to coercion in 2023-24.” Which, to say the least, stretches credulity; as the authors of the report put it: “It is startling that despite the prevalence of domestic and elder abuse in Australia, the assisted dying safeguards for these picked up absolutely no one at all.”
Well, quite.
Santhouse also raises concerns about safeguarding, noting that “as the experienced expert who would be asked to undertake [safeguarding] assessments,” their presence is “no reassurance whatsoever.” It is, he writes, “extremely difficult to truly know someone's motives, including the motives in someone asking for assisted dying. This is particularly the case where the individual concerned is frightened, vulnerable or wants to please others, and do what they believe others want them to do.”
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Source: The Other Half (2024)
[Image description: an excerpt from The Other Half, "The 2006 killing of Mandy Horne in Shetland was widely reported as a Romeo and Juliet, mercy killing by her husband - Mandy had MS. Both died so there was no investigation. Only through Mandy's father and a curious Times journalist was it later revealed to be a very violent murder and suicide by Mandy's husband: he's also killed their pets. The night before she died, Mandy had asked friends to stay because she was scared of her husband."]
But despite the failure of states that have legalised assisted dying to collect data on its intersection with domestic violence, we are not entirely without pertinent evidence. By combing through “news reporting, inquest findings, sentencing remarks and court of appeal judgements where killings and attempted killings were said by a judge, coroner or defence to be part of a mercy killing, or (failed) suicide pact,” The Other Half report authors have identified and reviewed more than 100 “mercy killings” and “failed suicide pacts” — and they make for sobering reading.
The Other Half’s research revealed that “at least 5 UK men per year violently kill women who are disabled, elderly or infirm, under the guise of mercy killings.” Eighty-eight per cent of the killers were male, overwhelmingly husbands and sons, and the killings were extremely violent, involving “cutting women’s throats, bludgeoning them, shooting them, or using stabbing, suffocation and strangulation.” One woman was thrown off a balcony by her son. Another was strangled with her dressing-gown cord by her husband. Many women had their throat slit. “Overkill,” the authors found, was frequent. Meanwhile, men are “overwhelmingly the survivors of ‘failed suicide pacts’.”
Having my throat slit, or being strangled with my dressing gown cord, or being thrown off a balcony does not sound particularly merciful to me, and whether or not you wish to die, it is hard to imagine anyone choosing to die in such a violent manner. But the vast majority of these women did not ever express a wish to die at all, let alone to die violently. 78% of them were not even terminally ill, being simply “disabled or elderly and infirm.” The report identified an increase in a woman’s care needs as a trigger for a mercy killing.
The majority of these men were let off with suspended sentences and sympathy from judges who repeatedly spoke of the “exceptional” nature of these strikingly similar cases (the report found that the few women who engage in “mercy killing” generally get a life sentence), with “very limited data, if any, data [being] collected by the state on these deaths, and no learning or curiosity.” One man let off with a suspended sentence had written the joint suicide note himself with no input from his wife; another had a history of domestic violence against his dead wife. And, let’s not forget, these lenient sentences all took place in a context where assisted dying is illegal. It’s also worth pointing out that this analysis would not have been possible if these mercy killings had taken place under the auspices of the new bill, because none of the information would be publicly available.
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Source: The Other Half (2024)
[Image description: excerpt from The Other Half, The judicial safeguard: even criminal court judges are not able to spot patterns in so called mercy killings. Selected judicial remarks to mercy and failed suicide pact killers. "This is indeed an exceptional case" - Scotland husband smothered wife who'd returned home from hospital. "A tragedy for you...exceptional in the experiences of this court. You were under immense emotional pressure...you acted out of love." - Husband wrote his wife's suicide note then cut her throat. Suspended sentence. "I conclude the mental torment engendered by the impossible situation in which you found yourself must have been intolerable." - Husband strangled wife after she had broken her vertebrae and had been unable to look after him. Suspended sentence. "[The judge] decided to suspend the sentence due to the 'exceptional' circumstances" - Father helped his daughter take an overdose then suffocated her. She had been receiving (poor) inpatient mental health care in hospital. Suspended sentence. "It was, in part, an act which you believed to be one of mercy." - Husband knocked his wife out with a dumbbell then slit her throat. She had dementia. Suspended sentence. "the defendant was not coping with the strain of being the principle carer...I accept at the time he did believe he was doing what he believed to be an act of mercy." - Husband smothered wife with clingfilm. She had Parkinsons and had recently has a fall. Suspended sentence. "the case was exceptional and jail would not be appropriate" -Husband gave his wife an overdose of antidepressants and suffocated her in a plastic bag. "I accept in killing your wife you were doing so because you felt this was the only way to limit or prevent her suffering." - Husband pushed his wife down the stairs and then strangled her. She had dementia. Suspended sentence. "The taking of a life is always a grave crime, but the exceptional circumstances of this case require the court to show compassion." - Husband cut his wife's throat after her dementia worsened. Suspended sentence. "indeed true love...an exceptional case" - Husband attempted to bludgeon his wife to death with a hammer. Suspended sentence. "a most unusual and very sad case" - Husband struck his wife with an iron pole, then smothered her as she sat in bed. Suspended sentence. "You were convinced that she was suffering and it was more than you could bear." - Son threw his mother off a balcony as she was receiving end of life care. Suspended sentence.]
But what about all the people who are not coerced, you may be thinking at this point. Don’t they have a right to bodily autonomy? Don’t they have the right to choose?
To this I have two points, the first of which is that rights in a democracy must be balanced and the right of one person to willingly choose to end his life must be weighed against the right of another person to choose to continue with hers. Nothing about the debate so far, nor the bill in question, makes me at all confident that this balance has even been considered, much less achieved. As Sarah Ditum noted in her excellent piece in The Times, published shortly before the vote took place:
But for legislation that relies on the principle of informed consent, there seems to be a strange haste to get it on the books without fully investigating its implications. The full text of the bill was published last Tuesday; MPs will vote on its second reading less than two weeks from today. This is not ideal, particularly when the issue is as consequential, ethically and practically, as medically administered death.[…] Before taking a neutral stance on a bill, the government should scrutinise it, including producing an impact assessment and a legal issues memorandum. These are supposed to be made available one month before the second reading, but as they don’t currently exist and the second reading is less than a month away anyway, that isn’t going to happen. — Ditum (2024)
Beyond this lack of proper scrutiny is the question of whether the state of care for those living with illness, whether terminal or not, gives people a meaningful choice to make. Certainly, the Health Secretary Wes Streeting doesn’t think it does, leading to his voting against the bill. Neither, apparently, does the Voluntary Assisted Dying (VAD) programme in Australia, if the pamphlet cited by The Other Half is anything to go by, featuring as it does this family quote: “The voluntary assisted dying process was really the first time that any medical and allied health practitioners had given such understanding and empathy to my sister's suffering, and that was such a relief.”
And, sure, you could read this as approbation of the VAD programme. Or you could read it as an indictment on the care system.
For his part, Santhouse says his experience is that when people are asking to die, “they are commonly communicating something different.”
They are asking for help to live. They are saying that they can't see how they can cope with the problems that they have, and are asking for help in finding a way through the seemingly impossible difficulties that lie ahead. To take their request at face value, and to whisk them over to the nearest assisted dying clinic, is to abrogate our responsibilities to the patient. — Santhouse (2024), p.210
If people are not making a free choice, if people are choosing death not because they want to die but because we have failed so abjectly to make living bearable for those who need care, what does that say about us as a society?
Similarly, as the Other Half notes in its examination of female suicidality in response to domestic violence, it “is impossible not to imagine a scenario that a woman in abusive situations would find it easier to access NHS assisted dying than support to create new life away from her abuser.” Certainly, assisting her death would be cheaper, a concern which was also raised by Santhouse, who fears that legalising assisted dying would make it “far easier to give up on people once the going gets tough.”
Advocates for assisted dying often rebut concerns about the morality or ethics of assisted dying by pointing to the strong public support that their position holds. And it’s true: my opinion is, as they say, unpopular: a poll conducted by Opinium earlier this year on behalf of pressure group Dignity in Dying found that 75% of the British public supports assisted dying.
But how many of the British public really understand the implications of how this works in practice? How many of them are thinking about the violence of the mercy killings we are asked to sympathise with, or the ease with which vulnerable people can be coerced into unwillingly ending their own lives? I ask, because when you poll British people who are more likely to have a good grasp of how assisted dying might work out in reality, the support drops rather precipitously.
A recent survey by the British Medical Association found that 50% of doctors were in favour of the legalisation of assisted dying, which is already a substantial drop from the position of the general public. The difference was even more pronounced when considering only palliative care doctors, that is, the doctors who are most likely to have direct experience of the realities for the patients involved (how good care can change their attitude to life; how vulnerable to coercion patients might be). Among these doctors, 76% were against a change in the law — almost the exact inverse of the opinion of the general public.
Where we go from here is unclear. The Terminally Ill Adults (End of Life) Bill is now at the committee stage, where it will hopefully receive some of the scrutiny that has to date been sorely lacking —although given parliamentary timetabling restrictions this is by no means guaranteed. In the meantime, social and palliative care continues to be underfunded and under-resourced. And some men will continue to violently kill some women, and the state will continue to allow most of them to get away with it.
In a weird coincidence, shortly after I wrote this piece a friend of mine told me about the Christmas care package that had been sent by Age UK to her mother and aunt:
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[Image description: A collection of gifts that includes slippers, a blanket, shortbread biscuits, a box of Celebrations chocolates, other unidentifiable edible or wearable treats.]
Age UK apparently sends these packages out to people on benefits with age-related health problems, and it’s such a brilliantly practical and caring idea I was inspired to set up a monthly donation to the charity.
Here’s why you should too: ageing is a feminist issue. Older women are poorer (thanks to the pay and pensions gap) and more frail and in poorer health (thanks to the health data and treatment gap) than older men. They are also more likely, thanks to sex differences in unpaid care (see Invisible Women for stats on this), to have spent their life taking care of other people. So, this Christmas, instead of “granny dumping,” let’s return the favour and make sure older women are taken care of themselves as they have taken care of all of us.
The link to donate again is here.
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covenofagatha · 1 month ago
Note
I love your Agatha stories!! I was wondering of you could write something where reader is the daughter of one of detective Agnes’ coworkers, who she doesn’t get along with, and they met in one of those cop friends reunion. She sees reader in the pool and can’t help but be infatuated by them, and when she discovers who reader’s father is, her needs to defile reader just increases😈
may have been a lil drunk finishing this so hopefully there's not too many mistakes lol
(Not so) Good girl, bad cop
Detective Agnes meets the attractive daughter of her annoying partner at the annual Westview PD Christmas party and decides that she has to have her
Word count: 3300
Warnings: bratty reader, top agatha, fingering, virgin reader, teasing, degradation, daddy kink, implied oral
The house of Agnes’s partner, Gary, is filled with food, music, and merriment for the annual Westview Police Department Christmas party. 
And yet, Agnes would rather be anywhere else. She makes a mental list of the places she wishes she could be instead, the bottom of a ditch making an appearance surprisingly high up. 
Her kiss-ass partner had practically begged Chief to let him throw it at his house, always trying to get ahead some way or another. 
Agnes can’t stand him. 
His smug little face when he took credit for one of her solves. The way he would mansplain things to her. The way he would take his fucking shoes off and put his feet up on desk. 
But she puts on a fake smile and hands him the obligatory bottle of wine when she walks into the home. 
“Ah, Agnes, there you are!” He booms and claps her on the shoulder. She grits her teeth before she removes his hand herself. She grunts as a way of greeting and steps right past him further into the foyer. 
Detectives and officers wave as she passes through the crowd of people to go find a corner to stand in and drink a beer. Everyone seems to be having a good time and she hates it. Hates to see Gary win like this. 
Her bored eyes flit through to find someone interesting enough to talk to, and that’s when she catches sight of someone outside. 
More specifically, a girl in the pool. You. 
Agnes’s forehead creases. All she can see is your shoulders and head and she turns her body fully to the sliding glass door to observe. 
You seem to just be floating around but there’s something about you that has her transfixed. 
Maybe it’s your wet hair matted around your face, or your nose and cheekbones, or the color of your eyes that she can see from inside. 
And that mouth, god. Agnes groans inwardly. What it must be like to kiss those pretty lips. 
Or for them to be elsewhere. 
“Hey, Agnes, Merry Christmas!” Agnes jolts out of her trance to find Chief standing next to her. 
“Same to you,” she says gruffly and then lifts her hand with the beer to point at you. “Who is that?” 
“Oh, that’s Gary’s daughter, Y/N. She’s home from freshman year of college. Met her a few times,” he says disinterestedly. 
But Agnes feels a thrill run through her. She didn’t know Gary had a daughter. Now, instead of just wanting an unknown person’s mouth on her, she wants Gary’s daughter’s mouth on her. The son of a bitch may have the favor of the entire Westview PD, but she is surely going to have you. 
And then you wade through the water to the side of the pool and push yourself out of it and Agnes almost moans at the way your muscles flex in your arms. 
And then she’s able to take all of you in. 
Your skimpy purple two-piece, the low cut of the top and how it shows significant cleavage, and the bottoms that rest just above the hip bones that Agnes wants to scrape her teeth against. 
She barely notices Chief walking away before making the executive decision to shove open the door and go talk to Gary’s daughter. 
You’re toweling off next to your pile of clothes on the patio table when you hear someone stepping out onto the back deck. You figure it’s just your dad, maybe coming to yell at you for being outside swimming instead of “mingling with the guests” like he wanted. 
But you hate these parties, having been to enough of them your whole life. Cops were boring and most of them had the biggest superiority complexes you’d ever seen. 
So you said fuck it and put on your swim suit. 
Footsteps get closer to you and you glance back, bracing for the lecture. 
But it’s not your dad. 
It’s Detective Agnes, his partner. 
You had seen her a few times at cop events you’d been forced into going to, but you had never spoken to her. You’re not sure she actually knows who you are.
However, you certainly know her. 
Her frizzy dark hair. Her piercing blue eyes. The way her lips pursed and her veiny hands would grip onto her belt. 
She is one of the hottest women you’ve ever seen. 
And she came wearing a suit tonight, hair tied back in a ponytail: black pants and a blazer over a neatly tucked in white button-down shirt that makes you want to drop to your knees. And a fucking tie, is she serious. 
The things you want her to do to you…god. Even though you’d only seen her from afar a few times, you still spent quite a few nights imagining her, hand between your legs. 
“Come to swim?” You ask when she finally gets close to you. She snorts and gives you a once-over. 
“Aren’t you cold?” 
You shrug even though the windy December air is brutally harsh against your bare wet skin. The urge to shiver is almost all-consuming, but with her standing this close to you, there’s a faint warmth in your stomach distracting you. 
You know that your body is reacting, however, and you twist your hair up into the towel so that Agnes can see your nipples poking through your top, harder than glass. Her eyes dart down, almost too fast to catch, but the way she gulps and clenches her teeth gives her away. 
“Maybe a little,” you answer. “Just need a way to warm up.” It sounds just as suggestive as you intend it and you can see her eyes darken. 
“Putting some clothes on would surely help,” she suggests and you pout mockingly but pull your long sleeve shirt over your head and wrap the towel around your waist. “Better?” 
You hum in agreement. “Did my dad send you out here? I don’t need a babysitter, you know.” 
She chuckles like something’s funny. “No, he didn’t, but are you sure you don’t? You would’ve caught hypothermia if it weren’t for me.”
“Wow,” you say, voice sickly sweet. “I had no idea my dad’s partner was a better daddy than he is. Look at you watching out for me.” You smirk, hearing her breath catch in her throat. 
But then Agnes scoffs. “And I had no idea my partner’s daughter was such a brat.” It’s impossible to miss the spark that goes straight to your cunt when she calls you that and you simper. 
“What are you gonna do about it, Detective?” You’re not sure where this boldness is coming from, but you like it and you think she likes it, too. 
Agnes growls and takes a step closer to you. You stand your ground, daring her with your eyes. 
“Your lips are blue, doll. The only thing I’m ‘gonna do about it’ is get your ass inside so your father doesn’t kill me when you freeze on my watch.” Her hand clasps your bicep and she practically hauls you back towards the door. 
“You’re really strong,” you remark, enjoying the way her grip tightens around you. “Do you work out?” You do mean for it to sound sexier, like a smooth pick-up line, but with the way your teeth have started chattering, it sounds like you’re slurring and you barely get the words out. She slides open the door and pushes you inside, the balmy air instantly making you feel better. 
“Go take a shower,” she tells you. 
You bite your bottom lip and bat your eyelashes. “Why don’t you come join me? That would really warm me up.” You toy with the edge of her tie, pulling on it ever so slightly and looking up at her through your eyelashes.
“You’re shameless, aren’t you?” She hisses, the vein in her forehead throbbing. “Throwing yourself at anyone who gives you a little attention, begging to be put in your place. Are you like this with all the girls at college, too? Getting fucked by a new one every night?”
You lean in closer so only she can hear you. “I’m a virgin,” you whisper in her ear, blush spreading to your cheeks, and she sharply inhales, almost giving into you right there. She’s going to take Gary’s daughter’s virginity. You can see her neck taunt with restraint and she steps back to put some space between you, almost all the blue in her eyes being swallowed up by her pupils. 
“Go upstairs and take a shower now,” she orders, her voice hard. 
“And then what?” 
She rolls her eyes. “If you can behave, maybe you’ll get a reward.” Heat flares through you and you take the stairs two at a time and shower faster than you ever have before. 
When you come back down, clad in a short red dress, you immediately find Agnes standing alone and out of sight in the hallway to the guest room. You join her, momentarily getting distracted by her loosened tie and blazer rolled up to her forearms. 
“I did it,” you say, voice coming out hushed. She rakes her eyes over you, smirking appreciatively. 
“So you did,” she agrees. “I’m glad you can follow simple directions.”
You wait a second with a raised eyebrow. She says nothing. “Do I get a reward now?”
She barks out a laugh. “So eager, aren’t you, pet?” The new name sends a bolt of lightning straight through you and you nod. “Let’s see if you can behave just a bit longer before I ruin you for everyone else.” 
You stick out your bottom lip like a petulant child and she pats your face roughly. 
“Come on,” you try again, whining. “Why can’t we just sneak away right now? No one would notice if you just came up to my bedroom with me.”
Your fingers play with her tie again, giving her a wicked grin as you tug her in closer by it, but she quickly snatches your wrists off her and pins them against the wall over your head, body pressing against yours. 
A moan escapes your mouth and your heart skips a beat. 
“Is this what you want?” She snarls, husky and deep and heat-filled, and it’s hard to think straight. Her leg presses between your legs and your head lolls back against the wall, tilting so she can lean in closer. “You want someone to punish you for being a bad girl? Want someone to take you rough and fast to teach you a lesson? What would your father think if he saw you this desperate for me? His perfect little darling daughter, grinding on my leg like a slut?” 
You whimper and try to force words out of your mouth, but you have no luck. She huffs and steps back, letting go of you and you instantly miss her heat against you. 
“See, you don’t even know what you want,” she scoffs. “Are you going to be good?”
You smirk. “Why should I, if it gets you this hot and bothered?” She fixes her stare on you, but you hold it, glare unwavering. 
“You know what?” She snaps and excitement rises inside you. “Fuck it.” You open your mouth to ask what she means, but she grabs your hand and pulls you back into the guest bedroom. 
You wonder if she had scoped it out while you were in the shower. Just canvassing the place, trying to find the best place for this. 
Agnes shoves your front against the door, holding your arms behind your back with her body like you’re being arrested, and yanks your head back by your hair. 
“What do I have to do to get you to behave, hm?” She asks. “Bend you over and spank you? Get you so wound up that you’re begging to cum and then leave you high and dry? Or make you cum so many times that your pretty face is covered in tears?”
You can’t help but whimper at her words. “Please, Detective,” you beg, feeling an ache that you’ve never felt before. “Anything.” 
Her hand comes down to rub your ass soothingly and you arch back into her touch. “Are you sure you want this to be your first time?” She asks quietly and carefully. Your knees tremble at the sudden softness and you nod so hard your head hurts. 
“Yes,” you rasp. “I need you so badly.”
She groans into your ear, seemingly very affected by your words. “In case you ever want to stop, say ‘purple’ or tap anywhere on me twice. Got it?” 
“Got it,” you breathe and her tongue licks a hot stripe up your throat. “Please, Detective, please touch me.” 
She flips you around and traces her hands up the sides of your stomach, her warmth seeping through your dress. She studies you. “You know, sweetheart, I know you can do better than that with how you’ve been acting all night.”
“Please, please, want you to fuck me, want you to be my first,” you whine, letting the words pour out of your mouth. “Detective, I need to feel you, please, daddy.” The last word kind of just slips out, but based on her strangled gasp, it seems to turn her on. 
She grabs your chin in her hand and holds eye contact with you. “Say it again,” she orders in a deep voice. Hearing her like this, seeing her like this, is doing wonders to you. 
But there’s still a bit of brat inside you. 
“Make me,” you challenge. Agnes raises an eyebrow and her other hand slips under your dress and cups you over your underwear. 
You sharply inhale at the feeling of someone else touching you there. While you are no stranger to your own body, having Agnes’s fingers against your most sensitive area is a whole new sensation. 
“God, you’ve really been getting off on being a brat, haven’t you?” She taunts, feeling your wetness against her fingers.
“Maybe…” you trail off softly and she pushes your underwear aside. Your knees almost buckle at the feeling of her against you, stroking through her folds. One finger teases your entrance and you try to maneuver yourself to get her to dip inside. 
“Ah ah,” she tuts, refusing to give you what you want. “Say it again.” 
This time, you give in straight away, needing her more than your pride. “Please, daddy, just fuck me.” 
She slides a finger into you and you moan, head dropping back against the wall. You can’t believe you're losing your virginity to your dad’s partner against the door to your guest room. You didn’t picture it like this, but you had wished she would be your first, so either way the end result was the same. 
“Fuck, doll, you’re so wet and hot around me,” Agnes says, beginning to slowly move her finger in and out, twisting to hit a spot that has you panting. “If only your father could see me now, fingers deep in his only child. Corrupting his perfect daughter.” 
For some reason, that only turns you on more and you roll your hips against her, drawing her finger in. 
“Please, daddy, need more,” you plead and she chuckles meanly before slipping a second finger into you. The stretch makes you groan but it feels so good. You meet every thrust and you can feel yourself getting closer already. She’s twisting her fingers, not exactly kindly, and you’re a mess, noises falling out of your mouth, doing anything to get her deeper. 
Her thumb swipes at your clit and you let out a loud moan, her other hand coming to clamp over your lips. 
“Gotta be quiet, baby girl,” she says. “Don’t want the whole party to know what a slut you’re being for me, do you?” 
You shake your head but wrap one of your legs around her waist so she can more easily hit the spot inside you that you have trouble reaching yourself. 
She laughs at how needy you are and fucks you even harder, fingers moving at a bruising pace that steals all the breath from your lungs. 
“Daddy, oh my god, please,” you moan, feeling yourself getting so close. Everything is so much more heightened than it feels like when you’re touching yourself, and you can’t believe Agnes is actually fucking you.
“Want to cum all over daddy’s fingers, huh?” Her question makes you even wetter, clenching around her, whimpering. Her eyes are burning into you and you’ve never felt more alive. 
“Please, yes, wanna cum, daddy, just for you.” You’ve never felt so needy, so desperate, in your life. Your entire body is taunt like a lifewire, electricity crackling and making you feel better than you ever have. 
She laughs. “What a naughty brat, making me fuck you at your dad’s Christmas party like this. Just couldn’t help yourself, could you? Had to act out just to get what you want?” 
All you can do is whine as she forces another finger into you, not even burning a little from how wet you are, and your head falls back against the door. Her thumb starts to rub a rhythm against your clit and your walls flutter around her three fingers. You start babbling, saying her name, telling her how good she’s fucking you. 
Agnes’s lips part, a light sheen of sweat breaking out on her forehead, and all you can do is gasp as she continues to fuck you so well. You don’t think anyone else will ever compare to her. 
“Cum for me, baby girl, cum for daddy,” she says, and hearing herself call herself that sends you right over the edge. 
You soak her fingers with a loud moan, riding them until the stimulation becomes too much to bear. She pulls out of you and you still mewl weakly at the emptiness. 
“You okay, sweetheart?” She asks and you drop your forehead onto her shoulder and sigh. 
And then you laugh a little at the situation and she huffs too. “I’m great, thank you, Agnes.” It’s the first time you’ve called her by her real name all night and she lets out a little sound that tells you exactly how much she likes it. 
She strokes a hand through your hair and brings you in for a kiss. You didn't realize how bad you wanted her lips against yours until it finally happens. But her tongue strokes into your mouth and you find out just how good she tastes. 
And just how much you want to taste a different part of her. 
Agnes also seems to have a similar idea. Her fingers tighten in your hair and guide you down to your knees. She unbuttons her pants and your throat goes dry as she slides them down her perfect, pale legs. You can see a bit of muscle in her thighs and it makes you want to lean over and bite them, just to leave marks. 
“You’ve been a brat all night, you know,” she says, peeling over her underwear and revealing her glistening pussy to you. Your jaw drops open, absolutely enthralled, needing to have her on your tongue. You nod at her words, not even denying what you did to get yourself into this position. “Running your mouth, saying the most desperate things, acting like such a brat. Well, I think we better put those pretty little lips to some better use, don’t you?” 
You couldn’t agree more, and you tell her that. 
She leads your eager mouth to her cunt and shuts you up in the best way possible.  
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hier--soir · 1 year ago
Text
a lover's pinch | one
joel miller x f!reader
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pairing: professor!joel miller x f!reader rating: explicit, 18+ minors dni summary: a one-night stand with a charming texan turns into something much more thrilling when you discover he is your new college professor. warnings/tags: au, age gap [20 something years diff], alcohol consumption, irrational sexual tension, smut, sex in a public place w/ a stranger [and i'm talking depraved/zero time wasted/known you for thirty minutes type strangers], oral [f receiving], protected piv, rough sex, dirty talk, a spot of degradation + misogynistic language, a split second of soft!joel, you get the picture word count: 5.9k series masterlist | main masterlist a/n: my friends.... oh boy, oh boy. this series is a complete au, self-indulgent, fantasy land idea that has plagued me for weeks. horny academic brain rot to the highest degree. hope some of you enjoy it with me x
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Friday.
You sit with three almost strangers.
Listen to them talk about their summers and their families and their degrees as you twirl a straw around your half-empty glass, disrupting the melting ice as you try to wrap your head around what a master’s in environmental engineering might entail. One of them, the only man at the table, takes great pleasure in explaining it to you all for the second time. You take mental notes and hope he’s not expecting you to remember words like sparging and leachate.
They do ask you about your undergrad, and your internship, nodding and smiling curiously. They don’t ask what type of job you plan on getting after your postgrad, which is a welcome relief. The bombardment of questions from immediate and extended family is enough.
Cousins wondering aloud, saying you study Greek mythology, right?
Or your grandfather, before he died, berating you ad nauseam at family events about what’re you gonna do, kid? Be a historian? There’s no money in being a historian. Now, being a lawyer, that’s where the money is.
And you’d respond no, not quite Greek mythology, and no, I don’t plan on being a historian, as you gorge yourself on red wine and triscuits and wait for Christmas to end.
Thankfully you aren’t expected to rehash these scenarios with your almost strangers, who routinely ask a few well-mannered questions and then go back to talking about themselves.
After a week of living with them, in a new house, and a new city, you’re becoming used to their company. The way the four of you commune lazily in the kitchen most mornings, swathed in the light streaming through a window above the sink, making idle small talk as you wait for coffee to brew. How Pete and Trin study opposite each other at the dining table, while Nora prefers to spread her limbs across the couch, laptop balanced precariously on her stomach. She’s doing her master’s in education, which she describes as an expensive way to get a pay rise. She’s kind, with wild curly hair and dark humour, and is easily your favourite of your new roommates.
It was her idea to go out that night. One last hurrah, she’d called it. Before we enter the final circle of academic hell next week. And between four overworked, already burnt-out, twenty-something students, it hadn’t taken much convincing before you were sharing three bottles of wine and hightailing it to the bar with the highest Yelp rating.
The late August air is dry; a faint warmth that follows you into a quaint bar in downtown Biddeford. The space is small and crowded with patrons, with dim overhead lighting that casts a soft glow across the booth you’re crammed into. A thin sheen of sweat coats your skin, and your shirt sticks to your back uncomfortably. The others seem unbothered by the heat, nursing sweaty glasses and discussing how different Maine is from where they all grew up. You involve yourself here and there, offering up stories about your family and friends from back home, and suddenly an hour has passed, and then another, and you’re pleasantly tipsy, body humming as alcohol spreads its way through your veins, and your latest drink is practically empty, spare a few melting ice cubes.
“I need another drink,” you tell Nora, who nods absently before turning her attention back to the others.
You wander toward the bar, fumbling for your phone as you go. Fall in between two leather cushioned stools and rest your elbows atop the sleek wooden counter. Check your bank account and mentally traverse the list of reasons for returning to student-life when you see the number staring back at you. I don’t want to be a lawyer, I don’t want to be a lawyer, I don’t want to be a lawyer, your internal monologue runs, although you could admit how sweet a solicitor’s pay check would feel right now.
It’s a low, Southern drawl that pulls you from your reverie.
“Mind if I sit here?”
Deep. With a rough, lilting quality that piques your interest and has your eyes drifting upward from your phone screen.
You notice his body first; a tall frame with thick arms, thick shoulders, thick neck. A navy-blue t-shirt that stretches thin around his biceps, hugging the tan skin there. And then you look higher, and—oh.
Your heart stutters a beat out of time as you take in his face. Loose brown curls that are just long enough to hang across his forehead. Dark, almond-shaped brown eyes. So dark they almost appear black on the first glance. The strong nose and dark hair across his jaw, dappled with streaks of grey. A moustache resting atop a set of dark pink lips. Gone are thoughts of academia, of bank accounts, of your almost strangers. All replaced in an instant by wanton, pulsating desire.
Something like surprise cuts across his face, but it disappears just as quickly. In a far recess of your brain, you register that he must be at least twenty years older than you. You wilfully ignore the thought, perfectly content to continue admiring him.
A dark eyebrow ticks upward then, and you realise you haven’t responded.
“No,” you rush, flashing him a quick smile. “All yours.”
He gives you a pleased nod, a hint of a smirk passing over his lips as he sits down. He looks vaguely uncomfortable perched on the tall chair, all six-foot-something of him cramped onto such a small cushion. You cast a single glance back towards the booth, and then slip onto the stool beside him.
Silence descends between you for a moment. A song by The Eagles plays faintly, but you can’t figure which one - too distracted to make out the lyrics. You take a careful sip of the melted ice at the bottom of your glass, taste the last remnants of tequila in it, and watch him out of the corner of your eye.
“’m Joel,” that accent rings again, sending a volt of warmth through your chest.
You tell him your name, fingers fiddling with the hem of your skirt. If he notices the tension in your posture, he doesn’t let on. “You a Southern man, Joel?” The name feels warm on your tongue. Soft and silken like honey.
“S’it that obvious?” he grins crookedly, pink lips tearing back to reveal a straight white smile.
“An accent like that is hard to ignore,” you smirk. “It’s not a bad thing.”
‘Thought it would fade a little since I moved here,” he explains. “Y'can take the man outta Texas, but… you know.”
You hum, eyes alight as you watch him speak. His mouth is beautiful, lips parting around prolonged vowels.
“You here alone?” he asks.
“No,” you say. “With friends.”
“Let me guess,” Joel tilts his body, glancing around the bar. His shirt shifts with the movement, hem raising to reveal the slightest hint of a soft, tanned stomach. He points somewhere over your shoulder. You shut your mouth, careful not to gawp. “Them.”
You turn, a soft laugh of surprise bubbling up through your chest when you spy the bachelorette party set up across the bar. Women dressed in gaudy shades of pink. One of them with a sash—reading Jenny’s Big Day—across her chest, a short veil pinned to her head, and an empty champagne glass clutched in her fist. One of them teary-eyed, gripping the bride’s arm and yelling something in her ear, sloshing champagne onto herself all the while.
“You got me,” you turn back to him with a grin. Hold your hands up in mock surrender. “I wouldn’t be caught dead missing Jennifer’s last night as a free woman.”
The corners of his eyes crease, entire face blossoming into a smile now. He has a dimple on his right cheek.
“Knew you were a good girl,” he nods. Says the words in a matter-of-fact tone. Something twists in your stomach, and your palms dampen. You wet your lips quickly and don’t back down from his gaze, allowing the corner of your mouth to kick up a little.
“And you?”
His eyebrows raise in a silent question.
“Who’re you here with?” you clarify.
“Just you, darlin’,” he says, left eye dropping in a quick wink.
It's easy with him, you find, and the two of you sit there for a while; exchanging small talk about Maine, the hot weather, the music at the bar, slipping in flirtatious comments that are about as subtle as a neon sign, until he finally spies the empty glass in your hand.
“What are you drinkin’?” he asks.  
“I’ll have whatever you’re having,” you say, hoping it doesn’t come across too eager. He seems pleased though. There’s something provocative to his gaze, a teasing warmth that raises the temperature of your skin wherever he looks. But whatever it is, it’s gone by the time he reaches across the bar for the bound beverage list.
He peers at the menu, squinting ever-so-slightly to see through the dim lighting of the bar. The skin beside his eyes is soft and creased with age, crow’s feet that hint at years of laughter and smiles. You wonder again how old he is. How much older than you.
“Forget your glasses?” you tease, testing the waters.
Joel’s eyes flash up to yours. The muscle in his jaw ticks.
“Watch it,” he says. There’s a playful note in his voice, but it rings deeper somehow—a hint of a warning.   
Your thighs squeeze together on the stool, warm sweaty skin peeling off the tacky leather as you move. His eyes dart to the bare skin of your legs, and then back to the menu.
He orders you both a whiskey, and a moment later the bartender is sliding a crystal tumbler in front of you. A finger of amber liquid with a single grandiose sphere of ice resting in it. Fancy.
“Cheers,” he holds his glass out. You knock yours against it gently before taking a short sip, fighting a grimace as it burns down your throat.
He watches your face closely, tries to gage your reaction. You take another sip, holding strong in your efforts to show him that you can handle it. Whatever he wants to give to you, you can handle.
“So what brings you here?” he asks. You notice how large the glass feels in your palm, and how small it appears in his. Long, thick fingers wrap around the object, dwarfing it. He takes a sip, and you watch him swallow. His Adam’s apple bobs, and you want to graze your teeth across it.
“To the bar or to Maine?”
“Either.”
“Well, I just moved into town last week, from the West Coast. It’s actually my first week back in the US; I was travelling before the big move.”
“Busy girl,” his tongue clicks against the roof of his mouth. You blink. “Travellin’?”
“I was in Greece,” you explain, sip your whiskey and definitely don’t grimace at the harsh taste. “For a month or so.”
“A month in Greece?” His eyebrows raise and he does a low, impressed whistle that has your stare zeroing in on his mouth.
“Ever been?” you ask faintly.
“No,” his reply is swift. “Never had much interest.”
And you’re nodding absentmindedly, but you can’t seem to drag your stare away from his mouth as he speaks. The trance is only broken when he raises his glass for another sip, and you shake yourself out of it, eyes shifting to stare into his brown orbs once more. They’re darker than you remembered, gaze loaded as he looks back at you. The tension was palpable when you first sat together, but now it feels impossible to ignore; an electric tangle of wire between the two of you that just keeps getting shorter and shorter. And you think, fuck it, if you’re about to descend into the final circle of academic hell, why not have a little fun?
“Can I tell you something, Joel?”
You say it softly, make your voice as sultry as possible. He watches you over the rim of his glass, eyes sparkling with intrigue. And then his mouth tilts into a sort of knowing smirk, and he’s nodding.
“I’d really like to kiss you,” you confess.
He hums, smirk broadening.
Sets his glass down on the bar top with a soft clink, and then lowers his hand to the bare skin of your knee. You gasp at the contact, nerves fraught. The callouses on his fingers scrape against your skin in slow, rhythmic circles, goosebumps raising in their wake. His fingers are long, and as he tenses them over you, squeezing your knee once, you see the way deep blue veins flex beneath the skin, hot blood pumping through him. Your stomach turns molten.
“Is that all?” he asks, a taunting lilt to his voice.
Your mouth is dry, eyes wide as you sense the proposition in his words. The hint of something darker—something greedy—in his gaze.
“No,” you say definitively. “That’s not all.”
A sharp tut escapes his mouth, fingertips dragging higher on your leg as he shakes his head. “Do you have any idea how old I am?”
“Don’t look a day over forty,” you hazard a guess, resting your shoe onto the rung of his stool, using the leverage to drag yours closer. Both your legs are between his now, thighs bracketing thighs. The denim of his jeans scrapes against your outer thighs, and you shiver. His hand pauses, fingertips just shy of the hem of your skirt.
Joel wets his lips. “Guess again, sweetheart.”
A low heat licks at the base of your spine, spreading its way through your veins until you feel like you could combust at any given moment. Fuck it.
“Don’t care,” you mutter, and drape your hand over his. You trace your nails over his skin, feel how the bones shift underneath it, how warm he is. He still doesn’t move, face pensive as he regards you. You arch an eyebrow. “You approached me, you know.”
His lips purse tightly. Another squeeze to your thigh, fingers moving again. “I know.”
Driven by boldness, by arcane desire, by animalistic instinct, you lean forward on your barstool and rest your hands atop the thick expanse of his thighs. Hear his breath kick as your nose traces the side of his square jaw, lips settling at the shell of his ear. Right at the soft, sloping crest of his neck. And you whisper those same words again, quiet enough that no one in the world can hear it but him, can I tell you something? 
Your movement drove his hand higher on your thigh, the heavy weight of it now settled beneath your skirt, fingertips skimming the indent where your leg meets your hip, toying at the soft fabric of your underwear there. Painfully close to where you want him.
“Yes,” his deep voice rumbles.
Ever so slowly, your tongue slides out of your mouth to trail against his earlobe. Joel’s thighs tense beneath your palms, and you roll the balls of your thumbs against the muscles there.
“I want to kiss you,” you murmur. “So I’m going to. And then I want you to fuck me, just like I know you want to.” Your teeth graze his lobe, and you bite it once, gently, before rearing your face back to peer at him. “Hmm?”
The muscle in his jaw jumps, shifting beneath the skin, and instead of responding verbally he cups your face with a rough hand. Cool drops of condensation from the glass have stuck to his fingers, and the liquid smears across your skin as he cradles your jaw and draws your mouth to his.
Soft lips envelop yours, the coarse hairs of his moustache tickling your face as he steals the breath from your lungs. And when you lick into his mouth you can taste peppermint on his teeth, and then that oh so familiar whiskey tang across his tongue. You don’t mind the taste so much when it’s on his lips.
You nuzzle closer, dig your fingertips firmer into his thighs and grin when a deep groan falls from his mouth into yours. Wet heat pools between your thighs, liquid fire that stokes at your insides, begging for more more more of him. And, as if he can read your mind, Joel is dragging his mouth away, teeth grazing against your swollen bottom lip as he departs.
“Bathroom,” he says, voice low and commanding. “Now.”
Shock and excitement lace your blood, the proposition of something so dirty, so lewd, making your heart race. With your pulse a dull, thrashing roar in your ears, you allow Joel to help you down from your stool. Your legs feel unsteady now that you’re back on solid ground. Gripping your hand, dwarfing it in his, Joel tugs you away from the bar top and towards an obscured hallway. You amble past the bachelorette party, down the dark hall and then he’s pressing a dark hand against the ambulant bathroom door and dragging you inside, sliding the lock shut behind you.
Joel’s on you in a second, arms bracketing you against the door as his wet mouth slips over yours. His hands are so big, all wide palms and long fingers splaying across the entirety of your back, tucking you against his solid chest. He bunches your shirt in his hand, twisting the material between his fingers as he pushes into your mouth. Tongue hot and wet, gliding against your teeth, your tongue, tasting you, devouring you. there’s nothing polite about it. No more wariness, no more hesitation, no more eyes that could see the two of you at the bar. He’s insatiable, touching you everywhere he possibly can, and even then it doesn’t seem like enough for him.
“Fuck, I want you,” you say against his mouth. He makes a low sound in response, and one of his palms lower to grab a handful of your ass, dragging your hips against his. You can feel him, hot and hard, straining in the confines of his jeans. Your hand presses into the crevice between your bodies to palm him through the material, grinning into the kiss when he groans. His lips trail a slick path across your cheek, past your jaw.
“Gonna let me fuck you here?” his hot breath fans across your neck, tongue darting out to taste the salty sweat there.
“Yeah,” you say. “Fuck—yes.”
He steps back, dragging you with him, and then he’s turning you around so that you’re facing the mirror. Your hips dig into the sink, and he’s holding you there, forcing you to stare at your reflection as he bites and licks and sucks down your neck with reckless abandon, leaving marks in his wake. There’s a low, steady throbbing at the apex of your thighs, and you can feel how your underwear clings to your skin, damp and ruined. You whimper, tilt your chin up to give him access to more skin. He grinds against your ass in response, and then he’s crouching down on the ground behind you.
Fast hands push your skirt up over your hips and then flare across your ass, massaging the flesh there. You feel a nip of teeth against the sensitive skin there and flinch into the porcelain. He makes quick work of dragging your underwear down to dangle precariously at your knees. And then long fingers are spreading you apart, revealing you to him. You tilt your hips back so he can see more. Moan at the sensation of cool air rushing to meet your dripping core.
You think you can hear him speaking, but can’t be sure over the sound of your heartbeat in your ears and the low music playing in the bar. And then it doesn’t matter anymore, because you can feel his hot tongue glide through your folds, parting you like the sea. He buries his face in you, nose nudging against your asshole as his tongue swipes at your clit, moaning roughly as he absorbs the taste of you. You’re gasping, hooded eyes staring back at you in the mirror, and this time you can definitely hear him saying you’re so fuckin’ wet. The flat of his tongue smears from your clit to your entrance, and then he’s sinking it inside you. You reach behind your back and card your fingers through his hair, gripping the salt and pepper curls between your fingers and holding him against you. Joel doesn’t complain, groaning as you tug on his locks in encouragement, in fucking desperation.
Your thighs tremble where they bracket his head, threatening to squeeze around him at any moment if it weren’t for his vice grip keeping your spread apart. A choked sob of a moan claws its way out of your throat and then he’s standing again, chest against your back as you hear the clink of his belt coming undone, and he’s saying, I know, I know, you need it so bad, don’t you?
Your hand skirts around the firm sink and slips between your thighs, fingertips ghosting over your throbbing clit. The sound of foil crinkling echoes around the room, and you hear him exhale a ragged sigh as he rolls the condom down his length. You peek over your shoulder to catch a glimpse of him, eyes widening as you take in the sheer size of his length. It’s long, with a prominent vein running from base to tip. It pulses, raging beneath the skin, practically daring you to drop down and run your tongue along the length of it. And you would if you thought he’d let you.
“Shit,” you breathe, skin tingling with a fresh wave of nerves and anticipation.
“It’s alright,” his voice is a low rasp, filling your ears like molasses, and his hand is rising to push stray hairs out of your face. “So fuckin’ wet f’me, I know you can take it, honey. You gonna show me how good you take co—”
He cuts himself off, eyes narrowing as he spots your fingers shifting between your thighs.
“So impatient,” he smacks your hand away with a grunt. “Silly little slut, can’t wait just a minute for me?”
A broken moan falls from your lips, shameful heat soaring through your chest. You shouldn’t love the way that word sounds falling from his lips, shouldn’t be so turned on by it, but you can feel how the ache in your core intensifies, and so you push your hips back against him.
“’m sorry,” you whine pitifully.
“You want it that bad?” Joel asks. His lips brush your earlobe as he nudges the thick head of his cock between your folds, gliding it through your slick once, twice, before notching himself at your entrance.
“I want it,” you gasp. “Wanted it from the second I saw you, Joel, please, pleas—”
Joel curses under his breath and loops a hand around your front, pushing the neckline of your shirt down to reveal your left breast. He slips his palm underneath the cup of your bra, long fingers pinching at the peaked bud of your nipple. Your skin burns under the attention, and you push your chest further into his hold.
“Shit,” he grunts, beginning to press himself inside. “I wanna fuckin’—wreck you, sweetheart.” 
“Whatever you want,” you’re pleading, arching your back for him. Your fingers tighten around porcelain, bracing yourself. “Give it to me.”
You hear a muted, dark chuckle before Joel says, “Whatever I want, huh?”
And then he’s pressing inside you with a single, harsh thrust. His thighs come flush with yours and you gasp, face twisting at the sharp sting. The weight of him inside you is heavy, and you squirm at the intrusion, shifting on your feet. He allows you a moment—just a moment—to adjust to him, before he’s moving.
Joel finds a pace he likes and sets it. Heavy, unrelenting, expert rolls of his hips that have his tip brushing against the opening of your cervix with every shift forward. The air fills with harsh sounds of skin smacking against skin, and stilted moans and spilling from your lips as your hipbones collide rhythmically with the sink.
“Christ,” he spits, hand leaving your breast to grip your jaw. He forces your face forward, pace never slowing. “Fuckin’ look at you.”
You do as your told, gazing at yourself in the mirror. And you look wrecked. Hair a wild halo around your head, makeup smudged around your eyes and mouth, lips swollen and shiny with spit.
“Bein’ so—fuckin’—good,” he punctuates the words with his thrusts. His thumb digs into your cheek, and you can see him grinning in the mirror, lips peeled back to reveal that fucking perfect smile. “Dirty little thing, lettin’ a stranger fuck you like this.”
You mewl in response, stomach tensing as his cock grazes a particularly sensitive spot within you. Joel notices and seizes your waist, one hand holding you in place and the other falling to rub your clit while he pistons into you from behind.
“Shit,” you cry, eyes pinching shut as the intense medley of pleasure and pain begins to overwhelm you. Your orgasm claws its way up your chest.
“Yeah, you like that, huh?” he’s panting. “Can you feel you squeezin’ me, sweetheart. Go on, give it t’me, show me how wet that pretty pussy gets when you come.”
“Oh, fuck, oh—oh god, Joel.”
Your lungs feel empty, chest on fire as you rake in rapid breaths. Your entire body is constricting, muscles in your stomach drawn tight as you press firmer against the sink, thighs shaking with every impact of his hips against the plush of your ass. The pressure makes your head spin. And then something in the base of your spine snaps, and you’re falling apart in his grasp. Joel curses behind you, but the sound is faint, almost inaudible over the ringing in your ears. Your vision goes white, body shifting forward as he fucks you through the high.
And even as you begin to come down, muscles going lax and body slumping against the sink, Joel is relentless. He uses you; gripping your hips to keep them tilted at the perfect angle, and just fucking wrecks you, exactly like he said he wanted to. A stream of profanities fill the air as his movements become disjointed, and you know he’s close. Can feel the way his cock twitches inside you, desperate for release. You tilt your face to the side and stare at him over your shoulder. Those dark eyes meet yours and his face crumbles, hand reaching to grip your shoulder and hold you down as he nears the precipice. You rut your ass back against him and he almost shouts.
“Fuck,” he growls. “That’s it, that’s it..”
And then he’s coming, cock jerking inside you in sporadic movements, and you’re wishing he hadn’t worn a condom so you could feel the heat of him spread inside your cunt. It’s intense, the yearning you feel to have him dripping out of you once he’s gone. But you settle for watching his face through bleary eyes, admiring the way his lips part and chin tilts towards the ceiling, eyes pinching closed as his body convulses against you. 
For an all too brief moment, Joel doesn’t move. He slumps against your back, forehead resting in the gap between your shoulder blades, and just breathes. Haggard, drawn out exhales that send whisps of your hair flying forward into your face but you don’t care, too blissed out and relaxed underneath his weight to say anything. And then he’s straightening, and you gasp in unison as he grips your waist and slips out of you. There’s a determined ache between your thighs, pussy clenching around his absence, missing the weight of him already.
You sag onto the cold surface. Your mind is a blur, senses dulled from the intensity of your orgasm. The music in the bar has increased, and you imagine that your roommates must be wondering where you are, but can’t bring yourself to care all that much. You can hear him throw the condom into the trash, then there’s a low rustling as he drags his boxers and jeans back up his legs. Body trembling, you close your eyes and wait. Wait to hear the door open and close as he steps out, and leaves you in the bathroom alone, as you know he inevitably will.
But instead, you feel those hands, almost familiar now, grazing your back. They drag your panties back up and smooth your rumpled skirt down over your ass.
“Hey,” a soothing voice murmurs. “You good?”
You peer at him over your shoulder, uncontained surprise no doubt evident in your face. Joel’s expression is soft; cautious. He grips your shoulder and pulls you up, straightening your body. Drags a thumb over the corner of your mouth, wiping away the lipstick smudged there. His touches are so gentle, so tender, in comparison to a few moments ago. It almost gives you whiplash, and yet you find yourself melting under his gaze, because fuck, he’s handsome. 
“I’m good,” you breathe, and he bares his teeth in a smile, cupping your jaw.
“Sweet girl,” Joel says. His head shakes once, slowly, eyes darting across your features, as if trying to memorise them. “I’m gonna remember this.”
You heart is in your throat all over again.
Your fingers fumble to adjust your top, smoothing it out as you smile, humming, “Yeah… yeah, I think I will too.”
A heady silence swells between you. His thumb brushes along your lower lip again, eyes watching the way your swollen mouth yields to his touch. The tip of your tongue slides out and glides over the tip of his digit, just for a second.
“Probably got your friends all worried,” Joel says then, hand dropping to his side. “Must be wonderin’ where you got to.”
You swallow down the disappointment you feel. It burns its way down your throat and into your stomach, not unlike the whiskey had. I don’t care, you want to say. Take me home with you. But you nod and agree. Glance in the mirror and rake numb fingers through bird’s nest hair, trying to tame your wild appearance. You swear you feel his hand graze the hem of your skirt one last time, playing with the soft material while he stares at you in the mirror.
The bubble pops as he unlocks the door, outside sounds rushing in through the gap, infiltrating the space that once smelt like sex and lust and now just feels like any other room. Joel doesn’t kiss you again. Doesn’t touch you. He steps into the hall, and you follow him out. And when he trails toward one side of the bar, with a final lingering glance at you over his shoulder, you begrudgingly head in the opposite direction to the booth, where your almost strangers await you with curious eyes and pinched brows.
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Tuesday.
You feel hungover on the day of your first lecture.
A dull ache blossoms behind your left eye, a persistent reminder of how little sleep you had the night before. Your fingers wrap tightly around a tall styrofoam cup, and you take slow mouthfuls of the black coffee inside, attempting to savour the liquid gold, and letting the caffeine act as a saving grace for as long as possible.
You were normally so much better than this, too. Years had passed since your undergrad, and in the past you’d prided yourself on being punctual and prepared. But apparently one of the professors for this semester had it out for you, because when the required weekly prep work for your 9 o’clock Tuesday morning lecture was released the day prior, you were stunned to find that it included an entire fucking book.
After spending a dutiful two hours going over the weekly notes and required journal articles, you’d found yourself glaring at three sentences, written casually at the bottom of the professor’s notes.
Also, read Hesiod’s ‘Theogony’. It will do you well to have these ideas and themes fresh as you undertake the first weeks of this class. See you tomorrow.
Cue you staying up until two am reading fucking Theogony, and walking to your first lecture with a near-permanent yawn sprawled across your face.  
As you approach history commons, a guy wearing a bottle green shirt that reads UNIVERSITY OF NEW ENGLAND in garish gold lettering shakes a pamphlet in your direction. It has a picture of a girl in a tiny athletic uniform on the front, preparing to spike a volleyball. You avoid eye contact and sidestep him quickly, continuing into the building.
The theatre room is easy enough to find.
Thirty odd chairs line the space on an incline, all facing toward a desk at the front of the room. A projector hangs from the ceiling, displaying the beginning of a slide show on a white wall. The slide is a muted beige colour, with stark black lettering that spells out: The Language and Literature of the Odyssey and the Aeneid.
Your professor stands with his back to the room, shuffling through a myriad of notebooks and loose-leaf pages splayed across the desk. Standard.
You traipse your way up the stairs, buoyed along by the steady stream of other students shuffling into the room, and take a seat a few rows from the front. Not too far back that you seem disinterested, and not so close that your professor will notice you falling asleep on the first day.
You open your notes on your laptop and then slump back into your chair, slurping down the final morsels of coffee in your cup before discarding it to the floor by your feet. And then the room quietens as a final group of students file in, heavy door swinging closed behind them, and you allow your eyes to rest upon the man at the foot of the space.
He’s tall. It’s impossible not to notice that first. Tall and broad. A thin white dress shirt stretches across the arch of his back, fighting to pull free from where it’s tucked neatly into the waist of his brown pants. From where you’re seated, you can see a dark head of hair shaking side to side every few moments, the man muttering inaudibly as he peers down at his notes.
You glance down at your laptop again. Watch your cursor blink against the white screen. And then you hear it.
“Alright folks,” an all too familiar voice drawls. “Let’s get down to it.”
You stiffen in your chair. The hairs on the back of your neck stand on end, palms going damp as a memory flits through your brain. One of your own voice.
An accent like that is hard to ignore.
You can’t make out what he’s saying anymore, every word overpowered by the sudden roar of your own heartbeat in your ears.
Slowly—so fucking slowly—you peel your eyes away from your laptop and glance upward.
And there he is, in all his glory. Pearly white smile. Strong jaw. Dark eyes.
Joel… your professor.
Fuck.  
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thank you for reading!! x
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senlinyu · 11 months ago
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I'm excited to announce that I have signed a book deal with Del Rey at Penguin Random House in the US and Michael Joseph in the UK for my debut novel, Alchemised, a standalone dark fantasy set in a war-torn world of necromancy and alchemy, in which a healer with amnesia is taken as a prisoner of war and must fight to protect her lost memories and the secrets hidden among them. It will grapple with themes of trauma and survival, legacy, and the way that love can drive one to extreme darkness, and it is, as you may be able to tell, a reimagined version of Manacled.
I know I’ve been rather quiet about my publishing journey, and a lot of that has been because I didn’t want to spark any concerns or worry that I might be abruptly taking away a story that is such a deep part of myself and that I know has meant so much to so many people. This process has unfolded very slowly and quietly because I have tried to be mindful as I could be in every step of the way. 
As most of you know, I have been a reader in fandom long before I ever began to write. Fanfiction is incredibly special to me, and I have tried to do my best not to undermine its legal protection or allow my works to do so either. During the last several years, there has been a growing issue with illegal sales of Manacled, putting both me and the incredible community that shares fanfiction freely in legal jeopardy. 
After consulting with the OTW as well as other lawyers, it has grown clear that as a transformative writer I have limited options in protecting my stories from this kind of exploitation, but I wasn’t sure what to do; I didn’t want to just take the story down, in part because I worried that might only exacerbate the issue, but I didn’t know what other options I had. Then I suddenly had this idea of alchemy, which was peculiarly appropriate; an academic world filled with unique transmutational abilities, and a necromantic war against people who had discovered the secrets of immortality, and I could see a path to reimagining the story while still holding on to as much of the original spirit of Manacled as possible. 
I began redrafting the concept privately around Christmas 2022, and then as if the universe had aligned, just as I was finishing, Caitlin Mahony and Rivka Bergman of WME reached out to me and were delightfully enthusiastic about concepts and ideas for my new alchemical world and the ways I had reimagined the story. 
I'm thrilled to be working with Emily Archbold, my visionary editor at Del Rey, along with Rebecca Hilsdon at Michael Joseph in the UK, to polish this novel for publication in Fall 2025. I feel uniquely privileged that both my publishing teams are familiar with Manacled and understand how special it is to so many people, and how important it is that this reimagining captures the same spirit while also having its own wings. 
Manacled is not going anywhere at present. It will remain online throughout 2024, at which point it will, if you’ll pardon the pun, alchemise for 2025 and be removed from AO3. 
I'm so thankful to all of you who've enjoyed my works, and I hope that I can continue to rely on your support as I take my next steps as an author.
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