#i didnt want to think of her and just see an empty body where she is supposed to be

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

.

[d3stinyist1red]

GIRLIE, YANDERE OLDER MAFIA BOSS!!(TAKE YOUR TIME IF YOU HAVE OTHER REQUESTSSSS!!💗)

ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴍᴀғɪᴀ ʙᴏss x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

yan mafia boss who you work under, with him being your boss and your his right hand woman

yan mafia boss who treats you like you own him, following with whatever you say

yan mafia boss who doesnt like any medics touching him, wanting you to be one treating him

The medic was standing in front of him, clearly fearful for her life bc the man in front of her could kill her if she did the slight mistake. She tried to pat and help the wounds of the Mafia boss who smacked her hand away and huffed.

"Bring me my n/n, now." He said glaring at her as she quickly nodded, basically running to you. She told you about how he refused to let her help and touch him as you sighed. You rubbed your temple before nodding and smiling at her.

"Don't worry, Ill deal with him." You said politely, nodding at her before walking past her, going to the room where he was at. You opened the door and you saw the way his eyes lit up, and a grin landed on his usually nonchalant face. "Love!" He said, as you walked up to him.

"Why are always acting so stubborn to the medics? You know that they're there to help you, idiot." You said clearly irritated, making him pout and tilt his head. "But, I want you to help me!!...and have your hands all over my body..." He whined, grabbing your hand and resting it on his cheek, looking up at you with hearts in his eyes.

yan mafia boss who has to always be in constant contact with you

ʏ/ɴsᴅ𝟷ᴅɪᴄᴋʀɪᴅᴇʀ!

n/nnn

where are uuuuu

n/nnnnn

n/nnnn

...?

...

...

no reply?

Have other hoes?

YOU DO DONT YOU?!!!?!?!!?

i hate u.

You getting blocked.

dont talk to me. I know you hate me.

Okay, im going to kill my self.

...?

....

...

This is (yans name, yall could make sum up) cat, he just shot himself

do you love him

...

...?

baby you know that was all a prank

i love u

pls let me eat ur ass

i wanna slurp ur kitty so good that the only thing i could taste is u mami

(seen 1 min ago)

ʏ/ɴsᴅ𝟷ᴅɪᴄᴋʀɪᴅᴇʀ!

ur rlly gonna leave me on seen?

ur lucky i dont come and cream all over ur face rn

pls touch me

yan mafia boss who has his bodyguards protect you no matter where you go

"Okat sigma 1, hawk tuah, ohio go protect n/n, you better fucking protect her with your life, ya hear?!" He said to his bodygaurds aggressively, scowling them down as they shook in fear,....i think one of them peed their pants...erm!

yan mafia boss who is madly jealous, putting a bullet into anyone's head he sees as threat for your love.

yan mafia boss who when you arent around, he struggles to sleep. He tosses and turns, his mind racing with scenarios about what they might be doing or who they’re with. "is she with that ugly bitch from work again?! Is she with one of my bodyguards?! Is she cheating on me?!" He hiccuped through his sobs, biting on his nails, hair all messy from tossing and turning throughout his sleep

He often wakes up in a cold sweat, feeling empty without them next to him. If you spends the night somewhere else, he'll start spamming you on everything even roblox.. If you dont answer within 5 mins, he immediately sends his men to try to find you, and paces around his house, restless waiting for your reply. bruh u were js buying sum takis...

yan mafia boss who is your boss who favors you a little too much!!! <333

IM PROB GONNA UPDATE SOME MORE ON TUMBLR BUT IM STILL ON BREAK ON WATTPAD CUZ I LOST MY GOD DAMN PHONEEE

SORRY IF THIS IS SHORT I DIDNT RLLY KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR MAFIA BOSS YAN

[ilovepaigebueckerss]

the other women.

word count: 886 (kinda short)

pairing: p.b. x reader

summary: After the live incident with Azzi y/n confronts paige.

pt: 2/3 (I think there will be 3 parts idk)

NOT PROOFREAD SO NTM.

i hope yall enjoy thiss. im gonna remake part 1 because it doesnt really fit with this part too well. i mean its good enough for yall to get the plot of the story but ykkk. SO SORRY FOR MAKING AZZI A BAD PERSON YALL ITS FOR THE PLOTTT🙏🙏 tried to do the lil picture thing evb be doing cs i thought it was cute how we feeling?..

-love gabby💋

3RD PERSON

Paige wakes up to an empty bed. She blinks rapidly trying to blink the sleepiness away. Wincing as she feels the hangover coming in. She notices the advil and glass of water on the bedside table you left for her. There was ice in the cup indicating the glass was filled not too long ago.

She doesn’t hesitate to pick up the glass and pills and takes them with one big gulp.

YOUR POV

Whenever you’re mind is too loud you usually vent to Paige and cry in her arms. You couldn’t do that this time so you went for a walk. You honestly had no clue where you were because you were so consumed in your thoughts you lost track of where you were walking.

Youre phone pinged snapping you out of your thoughts.

my fav blonde🖕🏻: Where are you?

You stared at the message not knowing if you should respond or not.

Just out for a walk.

You respond dryly trying to let her know you don’t want to speak to her. You hated confrontation so you didn’t know what you were going to do about the whole Azzi situation.

my fav blondie🖕🏻: Thanks for the advil and water, bug.

You stared at the phone not even realizing you were crying until you saw the tear droplet falling down your screen.

That damn nickname. She had given it to you as a joke when you first started dating and it’s stuck ever since. Whenever she called you it, a wave of comfort rushed through your body. Now it was just making you sad.

“You okay?” you hear a semi-familiar voice call out.

You look up quickly wiping your tears and see this girl from your psychology class. Her name was Addie or something like that.

“Yeah” you manage to croak out.

“You sure? Doesn’t really seem like it.” she says chuckling attempting to lighten the mood.

“Yeah. Thanks for asking.” You say smiling.

She smiles back. She was pretty, she had freckles and was brunette.

“Do you need a ride?” She offers still smiling.

“If its not too much of a bother.” You say embarrassed.

“Ofcourse! Hop in.”

PAIGES POV

Guilt is rushing through my body remembering the events from last night. It all happened so fast and it was a mistake.

my baby: omw home. 🤍 (hearted the msg)

my baby: got a ride from this girl

I smiled seeing her notification.

Theres even a video going around and im just praying y/n didnt see it. She could take it the wrong way. I would have to tell her eventually. She just cant find out through a video on social media.

FLASHBACK: AT THE BAR

STILL PAIGES POV

Azzi was being extra touchy tonight but I just assumed it was the alcohol. I mean she knows I have a girlfriend and she loves her.

“Paige, you look so good” Azzi slurs out running her hand down my chest.

I quickly move her hand off of me. “Thanks Azzi.” I say smiling. She puts her red solo cup up to her mouth “I think you’ve had enough to drink tonight” I say grabbing the drink from her.

“Nooooo” She whines. I just laugh at her drunk antics.

She grabs my face and gets really close. “Never noticed how pretty your eyes were.” She says staring at my eyes.

I just smile awkwardly trying to get out of her grasp. Before I knew it her lips were on mine. I gently push her off me. “Azzi.” I begin. “Paige you know you want me just as much as I want you.” She cuts me off.

“I have a girlfriend. And shes the only girl I want.” I say sharply.

“This is bullshit” She spits, pushing herself off of me.

PRESENT TIME

3RD PERSON

“Thanks for the ride.” Y/n says smiling at the brunette. Who smiles back “Anytime.”

—

Y/n is fumbling with her keys outside of the apartment door trying to find the right one. Once you find the key she puts it in the lock and unlocks the door.

Paige immediately shoots up of the couch and runs to her girlfriend. “Hi babyy.” she says smiling and giving you a hug. “missed you.” she says in your neck.

The feeling of Paige’s breathe on your neck made you shiver.

“Hey.” You couldn’t help but smile, missing Paiges warmth.

You let go of each other and you wander off into the kitchen while Paige goes back to her spot on the couch.

“Hey can we talk?” You manage to say. Paige looks up at you and hums in response already knowing what you’re going to say.

“What happened last night..” You pause and clear your throat “With Azzi?” You say trying to hold back your tears.

“Y/n I promise it wasn’t what it looked like.”

“Then what was it Paige.” You snap all your built up anger coming out. “Because it looked like the love of my life cheating on me with her BEST FRIEND.” You say emphasizing the last two words.

“Please let me explain baby.” Paige says, tears pricking her eyes.

“Don’t call me that.” You say coldly.

“You don’t need to explain anything I saw what I needed to see.” You say before Paige could open her mouth to speak.

You walk out of the door not wanting to make the situation worse.

—

thank you for reading mwahh!

[mpileons]

behind the goal posts | alexia putellas x reader

chapter 1 <

Summary: Everyone knows Alexia Putellas. Star football player and the face of Barcelona. However, what they don’t know is that she is been in a secret relationship for years, and that relationship is slowly slipping out of her hands.

Word Count: 2.8K

—

A/N: i got a bit too carried w/ the angst.. oops. and i didnt proof read this so i apologize for any inevitable mistakes :)

Chapter Two …

Present Day – 

As 12AM hits, I find myself still waiting for Ale to come home from training. I decide to call my bestfriend to prevent my thoughts from further spiralling. “Hey chica, wait what's up?” my best friend's voice blares through my headphones as a frown etches onto her face, sensing that something is off with me. “Did she do something?” I start to shake my head because I know if I speak my voice will betray me and all my anxieties will be laid bare for her to see. It’s not that I don't want her to see, more that I don't want to acknowledge any of this. I’d like to believe that Alexia and I are still in that honeymoon, that she’ll come home early and shower me with kisses while we make dinner,that we will go back to watching films while our limbs intertwined till we didn't know whose body is whose. I know deep down that we have derailed so far away, we are slowly plummeting into an abyss of resentment and I don't know how to save us. “Y/N please talk to me” Kira’s voice brings me back to earth, I see the anxiety increasing tenfold on her face as she watches me intently. “I don't know," I admit, my voice barely above a whisper as I fiddle with the strings of my hoodie. 

"It's just... Ale was out late last night, and she's still not home. And she's been so distant lately. It’s like I am living with a ghost,  I can't shake this feeling that something's wrong." I rush out as quickly as humanly possible, as if I say it fast enough my brain won’t think about it and therefore it won’t become real.

“That’s strange, have you brought it up with her?” Kira's voice held a gentle probing, her concern evident. But then again, I couldn't fault her for that. Our nightly chats had become a lifeline, teetering on the edge of panic. It's strange, really. Ale used to be the one to ease these moments, but now, it's her actions that stir them up.

Present Day | Alexia’s Point of View —

As I step into the dimly lit apartment, the sharp remnants of the night at the club are still echoing in my mind. However, the laughter and camaraderie of my teammates felt distant now, replaced by a hollow emptiness.

I moved through our shared apartment with a sense of detachment, a space that was once so familiar now feels like a ghost town. The weight of exhaustion drags at my limbs as I head towards our room. But as I pass by the closed door, I can hear a snippet of a conversation that catches my attention, drawing me to a sudden halt.

"... it's strange how Ale used to calm me down from these attacks and now it is her that is causing them," Y/N's voice, tinged with worry and frustration, drifted through the door, sending a pang of unexpected guilt coursing through my chest.

For a moment, I stood rooted to the spot, Y/N’s words hanging heavy in the air like an accusation. The weight of her evident disappointment bores down on me like a crushing weight, quickly suffocating and stealing every word out of my mouth. How had I become the source of Y/N's pain, when did this happen?

Without another word, I retreated to the living room where the walls feel like they are closing in around me as the echoes of Y/N's words reverberated in my mind.  Hours passed in agonising silence, the tension in the apartment thickening with each passing moment. And then, as if on cue, the dam burst.

Present Day | Y/N’s Point of View —

I took tentative steps to the living room to check if Ale had come home, the faint scent of alcohol hanging in the air further proving that she’s back.  

As I rounded the corner, my gaze fell upon Alexia slumped on the couch with her head bowed and a half-empty bottle of whiskey clenched tightly in her hand. Her usually vibrant eyes were now dull and unfocused, the lines of exhaustion etched into her features.

A sudden surge of anger and frustration takes over my body. I naively thought that maybe today would be different, that today Ale would come to me instead of seeking comfort from a bottle.

But as I stood in front of Ale and truly take in the sight in front of me, a different surge of emotions come. I am quickly overwhelmed with a wave of guilt as I watch the woman I love more than anything crumble beneath the weight of her own self-destructive tendencies. No matter what I try to do or say, nothing can seem to get through the indestructible walls she had built around herself, the walls she once used to let down around me. 

All of a sudden, I couldn't muster up any anger towards the woman who firmly held my heart in her grasp. I could shove aside my own emotions, even if it meant indulging in self-destructive tendencies, just to care for her. 

"Ale," My voice was soft, barely more than a whisper as if my words would fracture her even further. I slowly approached the couch, my heart aching with a pain I couldn't name. "What happened tonight?" I asked while tentatively taking the bottle out of her grasp.

Alexia's head snapped up at the sound of my voice, her eyes glazed and distant as she struggled to focus on me, an effect from her excessive drinking that has become more familiar to me than I’d like. "Nothing," she muttered, her voice slurred with the aftereffects of alcohol. "Just... just another night out with the girls."

My eyes furrow with concern, I try to find any piece of the woman I loved, the woman who would buy me new flowers immediately after the previous flowers died, the woman who would wake up earlier before practice just to spend time with me, the woman who would bring me food to the library while I was drowning in assignments. But all I could see was the shell of that woman. All I could was emptiness and it was killing me. She was killing herself while clutching my heart within her hands, bringing me down with her. 

My voice trembled with disappointment as I settled beside Alexia on the couch, the tension between us crackling like electricity. The atmosphere in the room felt heavy, suffused with the weight of unspoken grievances and broken promises. "You promised, Ale," I began, my tone beginning to edge with unbearable frustration as I decide to confront her broken vows. "You swore you'd try to get better, that you wouldn't let this control you anymore. That you would try for me, for us."

Alexia's eyes flashed with a mix of shame and defiance, her fingers stealing the bottle from my hands and tightening around the bottle in her hand as she clearly tried to brace herself for the impending conflict. The lines etched on her face increased tenfold. "I know," she admitted, her voice strained with the evident weight of her own struggles. "But it's not as simple as just trying, Y/N. You don't understand how hard it is. You just don’t."

My patience waned quickly as I met Alexia's gaze, my own resolve beginning to falter under the weight of our unresolved issues. "I'm trying to understand, Alexia," I defiantly retorted, my voice rising slightly with frustration. "But how can I when you won't let me in? You keep shutting me out, pushing me away every time I try to help."

A spark of anger ignited within Alexia's eyes as she rose to meet my challenge, her own frustrations bubbling to the surface. "Maybe if you actually understood what I'm going through, you'd realise that I'm not doing this to hurt you," she shot back, her voice tinged with bitterness. "I'm doing this because I can't bear to see you disappointed in me again."

The raw emotion in Alexia's words further broke my heart, the sting of guilt mixing with her own simmering anger. "I know, but you promised, Alexia," I murmured, my tone quiet  but sharp with anger, "It just seems like you don't care about keeping your word anymore. You're drowning yourself in alcohol, and you're dragging us down with you."

I can see Alexia's gaze harden, her own frustration boiling over as she shot back once again, Never one to back down. “Don't act like you're perfect, Y/N. You're always on my case, like you have it all figured out. But guess what? You don't. You never have."

I clench my jaw as I fight to keep my temper in check, I know that Alexia isnt in the right state for this discussion, but her words hold some flicker of truth which is why the words spill out despite my best efforts. "I may not understand everything you're going through, but at least I'm trying. What about you, Ale? Are you even trying anymore, or have you just given up once again?"

The accusation struck a nerve, and Alexia's temper flared, her voice rising to match my intensity. "Of course, I'm trying!" she exclaimed, her hands balling into fists at her sides. "But it's not enough for you, is it? Nothing I do is ever enough!"

My eyes flash with hurt and indignation while my voice trembles with emotion. "That's not true, Ale," I protest, my heart aching at the sight of the woman I adore unravelling right before my eyes. "I just want you to be happy, but I can't stand by and watch you destroy yourself. I can't do it anymore when it is destroying me further knowing I can’t help you despite my best attempts to."

Tears welled in Alexia's eyes as she struggled to contain her rising emotions, the weight of their argument bearing down on her like a crushing weight. "I don't know how to be happy anymore, Y/N," she admitted, her voice breaking with despair. "I feel like I'm drowning, and I can't find a way out."

The distance between us grew with each passing minute, each second driving a deeper wedge between our fractured hearts. And during the chaos of our bitter exchange, I just had a sinking feeling that my love might not be enough to save us from the impending darkness that I know will consume us completely, sooner or later.

Exhausted and emotionally drained, my voice immediately softened, a tremor of uncertainty lacing my words as I try to grind the words I thought I’d never say out loud, not to Alexia, not even in a million years or in a hundred different universes did I think I’d say this to her.. "Maybe... maybe we need some time apart," I suggest, the weight of the admission heavy on my tongue.

Alexia's breath caught in her throat, her eyes widening in disbelief at the suggestion. "A break?" she echoed, the word heavy with resignation and a hint of desperation.

I nod, my own heart aching at the realisation that our relationship might be hanging by a thread. "Just... for a little while," I murmur, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. "To figure things out."

6 Months Ago | Alexia’s Point of View —

As the sun set over the horizon, casting hues of pink and gold across the sky, I led Y/N to a secluded spot in the park since I decided to surprise her with a special outing to a drive-in cinema. I see her eyes widen in surprise at the sight of twinkling fairy lights strung between the trees and a soft glow emanating from a cluster of candles.

With a nervous but determined smile, I take Y/N's hand and lead her to a cozy spot in front of the car. We start to settle onto a blanket spread out in the back of the car, the air filled with the sweet scent of blooming flowers and the distant sound of birds chirping.

As we cuddle together under the starlit sky, the screen flickers to life with the opening scenes of "La La Land," Y/N's favorite film, I had put that somewhere in the depths of my mind when she told me, knowing it will somehow be important later on.

During an especially poignant moment in the film, I reach into a nearby picnic basket and pull out a carefully crafted scrapbook that took me longer than I’d like to admit. After all I am athlete not an artsy person. But for her, it’s all worth it.

I watch as she curiously flips through the pages, her eyes widening in surprise and delight as she sees photos of our many movie nights together, interspersed with handwritten notes and film strips capturing precious moments we’ve shared over the last few months.

My hands start to lightly tremble while I intertwine Y/N's hand with mine, as I feel her hand fitting perfectly into mine, a warmth spreads through me, comforting the trembles that threaten to give away my nerves. "Y/N," I start, my voice barely above a whisper but laced with the depth of my feelings, "I never imagined that one person could fuel my heart with such love and devotion, I can’t even imagine my life without by my side and I ..."

Y/N's eyes meet mine, shimmering with unshed tears of happiness. Without a word, her gentle nod speaks volumes, affirming the depth of her love and commitment. "Yes, Ale," she murmurs, her voice a soft caress against the night air, "I choose you, now and forever."

Present day | Y/N’s Point of View —

Before I can even take a step forward, a familiar blonde head of hair envelops me, momentarily throwing off my balance. "Geez, Leah, trying to knock me over?" I chuckle, returning the embrace of my lifelong friend. Football was never my thing before Ale, but Leah and I go way back to our days in the primary school astronomy club, and our bond has only grown stronger since then. Proving our friendship to be stronger than any time zone or country.

"How do you manage to shrink every time I see you? Is there something in the water in Barca?" Leah teases as she takes my luggage from my grasp and leads the way to her car. I just shake my head at her usual antics, gazing out at the Heathrow Airport parking lot. London. I haven’t been back home in years, never felt the need to with Ale around, but now that I've lost her, it feels like I've lost my home along the way as well. The realization hits me like a punch to the gut, leaving me feeling nauseous. In just a few days, I've lost everything that mattered.

Hours later, after battling the infamous London traffic, we finally arrive at my flat. It's a sad time capsule of my past life. Remnants of old friendships and memories linger in every corner, a stark reminder that while I've changed, the world around me has kept on spinning. That time waits for no one, and as I sink deeper into my thoughts, Leah's concerned voice breaks through the silence. "Are we going to talk about it, or are we gonna keep pretending like nothing's happened?" she asks, her honesty cutting through the tension. I join her on the couch, resting my head on her shoulder with a heavy sigh. "I don’t know," I admit, uncertainty weighing heavily on my mind.

“Cmon, as your favourite bestfriend I think i deserve more honesty than that.” She tries to lightly joke, but I know her words hold some level of honestly. And the words hit me harder than I expected, and for a moment, I find myself at a loss for words. She's always been there for me, through the good times and the bad, but this... this feels different. It's not just a bump in the road; it's a complete upheaval of everything I thought I knew. I know nothing anymore.

"I know," I finally say, my voice barely above a whisper. "It's just... it's all so overwhelming, you know? I thought I had everything figured out, but now... now I don't know what to do."

Leah quickly wraps an arm around me, pulling me closer in a comforting embrace. "It's okay not to have all the answers," she reassures me, her voice soft but firm. "Just take it one step at a time. We'll figure it out together. You still have me no matter what. You know that.”

I nod, grateful for her words of wisdom. But even as I try to take comfort in her presence, a nagging feeling of unease lingers at the back of my mind. How do you move forward when everything you once knew has been shattered right in front of you? Where do you even begin?

[fanartlover1234]

SKIP

Y/n and Hook are dating but he has to make up for forgeting their anniversery

All day long Hook couldnt think of a rrason of why his sweet Y/n was off and kind of cold to him, her respones were short and she shyed away from his touch.

He decided maybe she just didnt feel like talking untill he walked to his room to find a little box on his bed with a little note that said 'happy one year' and he felt like driving a his hook through his head, how could he forget.

He opened the box to find a medalion in shape of heart and opening there was a picture of them both.

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"Im not ditching class with you" Y/n said trying to get away from her boyfriend not wanting to let him convince her as she was still hurt by yesterday.

She without noticing fell into a slower pace as her boyfriend slowly walked backwards infront of her trying to meet her eyes.

"Class happens everyday, this one doesnt?" He asked still trying to find his way into her gaze.

Y/n noticed he didnt have his hook with him so he must have left it in hurry, i mean he practicly ran to her.

"I cant fall behind" she said coming to a stop and finaly meeting his eyes.

Her eyes looked down when his hand rested on her hip, giving it a little squeeze.

"Ill help you study" he said and she rolled her eyes knowing his version of study when he pulls her on to his lap when she would try to memorize something, he smirked when he saw her expresion.

He smirked even harden when she lowered her gaze, shuffling from one leg to another, a thing she did when she got nervous under his gaze.

"I have a test soon" she mumbled a excuse even she didnt believe enymore.

Hook moved the hand on her hip to hrr waist and pulled her into an empty hallway.

"Ja-" she froze when on of his hamds fell under her jaw squeezing just a little to make her lips part as his other hand fell on her waist.

He kissed her softlt making her brain log as he pulled her close.

One kiss led to another and soon a little moan when he pushed his leg betweem hers and he squeezed her neck and he gasp letting his tounge dance in her mouth.

And when the sixth kiss came, James laughed when his sweet girlfriend jumped because of the bell for class.

"Great now im late" she mumbled.

"Well not that you are late anyways" he said playing with her hair and squeezing her hip as he smirked whem her eyes tried to avoid his, a ting she did after a kiss "you can come with me now"

"James" she said with a small pout he found very cute as her doe eyes looked at him a bit annoyed "im going to class"

"Love, please just come with me it will be worth your time" he said.

"Class is important to me"

"This is more important" he said taking a hold of her waist and draging her with him but when she still refused he picked her up bridal style to carry her there.

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What Hook had to show Y/n was truly nice, a picnik by the enchanted lake while watching the fairy blossoms open up for summer.

Hook had apologized for forgeting their 1 year but promised to never let it happen again no matter what.

Now Y/n was studying by her table catching up on astrology classes she missed, taking notes she borrowed from Bridget to copy.

Hook was laying on her bed, he'd be lying if he said his sweet Y/n studying wasnt a turn on.

"You said you will help me" Y/n said turning to see her boyfried only to quickly turn away and look at her notes at the sight of her boyfriend with no shirt.

Its not like she hasnt seen him shirtless before, they had fucked so she could never understand why she still grew shy at the sighy of it.

Hook chuckled as he leaned hisbhead to the side to see the sides of her cheeks a bit pink, his eyes trailing down to her thighs that were clenching together.

"I am"

"No you are not"

Hook got up walking over to where she sat placing both hands on the table at either side of her body.

"Fine. Let me help you now" he whispered and smirked seeing her legs start to rub together.

"With flashcards?"

"Later. For now" he said steping back and turing her chair around as he kneeled before her on one knee " id prefer if those pretty thighs clenched around me"

As those words left his lips, Y/ns face turned shades darker in red as her hands flew up to cover her face.

Y/n was never the one to admit she was horny or needed him, Hook just simply knew how to read her body language.

Hook got up reaching for her hands to pull them away so he could look her into eyes.

"No need to be embaressed darling" he said before kissing her " i got you" he said before his lips trailed down her neck.

His fingers slowly unbottoned her shirt before his lips latched to the top of her breast slowly going down to her skirt.

He lifted her up as he walked to the bed before his lips kissed her flods over her panties.

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Y/n floped down breathing hard, het legs giving out when Hook finaly pulled out of her.

His fingers ran up her pussy as he spread the folds and toyed with the clit a big more.

"James"

"Im making it up to you, just one more love" he said before sucking her clit before going up to kiss her as he pushed hia dick back unside bow going in a god like pace.

Y/n s eyes rolled back as Hook braught his finger to her mouth and she gladly sucked them while she was on her 8th orgasm this night.

When Hook felt the girls last orgasm he pushed his fingets down making her gag a bit.

》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《

"Im sorry darling" Hook said again as he kissed the girls shoulder.

"Its okey"

Not my original idea, saw a post and loved it so gave it my twist.

Original idea belonhs to @giveityourworst and i love their work

[ppnuggie]

can you do a haedcanon of a fem human just drinking SO MUCH COFFEE like cup after cup an she is litery shaking in her seat her entire body is like a maraca an she she swerves bar so can u do headcanons for this for first aid, perceptor, brainstorm, chromdome an cyclones just teacting to this madness

　　　　　　LOST LIGHT x fem reader

　　　　『　first aid ,, brainstorm ,, perceptor ,, chromedome ,, cyclonus ,, female reader 』

　　-> reader who drinks too much coffee and gets really hyper

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, crack ,, magnus is forever suffering

　　— here you go !! :3 tysm for requesting !! tried to make it funny 🫡 hope you enjoy it <3 i loved writing this one but be warned as i dont drink coffee nor rlly know much for the side effects or smt from drinking it 😭😭 even though im literally working at dunkin rn and they only rlly got coffee

- first aid

| • he'd be worried at first with the amount of coffee you've consumed ,, having learned about humans and other things concerning them incase of an emergency

| • in this case ,, itd seem the knowledge he learned wasnt too helpful

| • bouncing all around the medbay and just hyper in general was quite a pain for first aid to deal with

| • but he didnt want to be too rude to you ,, and gently coaxed you into spending all that energy of yours running laps around the edge of the medlab where you wouldnt get too hurt

| • though when you finally wear it off ,, he'll be quick to scold you ,, holding his digit in front of your face and waving it side to side in a 'no no' motion before taking you to his habsuite and laying you down for a nap

- brainstorm

| • he honestly doesnt know better okay ? you could tell him anything and suddenly he wants to put it to the test

| • so when you said you could drink a bunch of cups of coffee and wouldnt bat an eye ,, he was immediately like bet and then that led to the current situation

| • perceptor is facepalming and immediately making brainstorm take blame for encouraging you to do this ,, because now theres a hyperactive human running around the lab

| • i mean you're practically flying around with how much coffee youve drank ,, hell you could probably beat blurr in a race

| • official you wouldnt say that out loud because lord knows some of his fans to be a bit crazy and would immediately be on your case saying "no you wouldn't !!" and maybe a few death threats involved as well

| • dont mention it in front of brainstorm either because hes already calling blurr to set you up for a race

| • hes no help ,, dont ever tell him your ideas or encourage his crazy ideas unless you wanna end up in magnus's office ,, having him scold you like a dad does to their child who drew on the walls and is trying not to laugh at the situation

- perceptor

| • thanks to brainstorm ,, you chugged too much coffee than your body ever really needed ,, and with perceptor as your not-so-official-but-official-in-his-mind-protector-slash-guardian-slash-alien-robot-boyfriend-slash-fun-killer he just sighs and takes you out the lab

| • he doesnt have the patience to deal with any acidic spills from you bouncing off the walls left and right

| • nor does he really need you getting hurt in any way shape or form

| • lets just say its an awkward trip to the medbay to see if ratchet has anything to help with your situation

| • and when he comes up empty handed ,, percy resorts to scolding you whilst the caffeine starts to wear off

| • it taught you better than to listen to brainstorm again because bro was yapping at 100 words per minute you swore he couldve talked faster than blurr at that point

| • bro was an absolute chatterbox just yapping and yapping that you fell asleep

| • never again would you do that ,, or think about doing that because the headache afterwards when you woke up was so not worth it

- chromedome

| • he also doesnt know any better ,, but he's definitely more responsible than brainstorm is

| • he'd know to at least keep a lot of caffeine or high sugar products out of your reach ,, just hiding it on your top shelves or above your cabinets like parents do with their kids' halloween candy

| • though when you accidentally made too much coffee ,, and didnt really feel like wasting it ,, you drank it all in one go ,, or well multiple big ass gulps

| • and then rewind walks in on the scene and sees how hyper you are and is honestly thinking youre sick with some make-a-person-crazy-illness-virus-disease-thing that he swears is somewhere in his database

| • and now chromedome has to play dad and parent you the whole time

| • bro probably put your ass on a leash ,, locking it in so the rope only goes so far and just stands there as you run around

| • this is what he gets ,, he thinks to himself ,, its the last time hes putting something so low in your reach again

| • at this point ,, hes just gonna store all your unhealthy and junk food away in a desk in his habsuite

| • he'll leave you fruit and vegetables but if you want coffee ever again youre gonna have to behave really good to get it

| • and its only a spoonful ,, as a little treat

- cyclonus

| • so you just trying to show and answer tailgates crazy ass questions that youre not even sure where he got them from

| • he probably got them from his ass at this point ,, asking if the coffee gives you super powers and you have to explain thats not true before he spreads lies around

| • and if that happened ,, you shivered at the thought of magnus banning your coffee aboard the lost light

| • that was pure trauma to even think about right there

| • anyways you made too much ,, and instead of storing it away or pouring it down the drain ,, tailgate dared you to drink it all

| • and well ,, momma aint raise no pussy but she did raise someone who makes bad decisions

| • because the moment you get your spurge of energy tailgate runs to cyclonus and tells him all about it

| • bros going on and on about how youve lost your mind and he thinks youre gonna die and cyclonus had like 600 heart attacks right then and there

| • he busts in like hes the damn swat team ,, door kicked down and pieces of it flying everywhere as you're running around like a wild banshee

| • he's looking for the demon and meanwhile youre out here acting like a damn demon ,, almost frothing at the mouth from how insane you are from the coffee

| • lets just say it makes magnus ban tailgate from ever daring you to do anything ,, bans you from having your coffee ,, and bans cyclonus for ever kicking down a door like that ever again because it was so unnecessary

[avocado-writing]

hi!! ive.. gone and read so much of ur work in one sitting. its all so much to take in, IN A GOOD WAY, and i absolutely adore every single word

would u be so kind.. to bless my angst durge needs..

Durge Resist tav, was strong for all until the brain was finally defeated but now, with what she believed her only purpose/chance at redemption (brain), they can't help but feel utterly empty and,, unredeemed. They mourn all those they have robbed from this world, nameless, and countless numbers of people they robbed of the life that they were now being given the chance at living. Surely they don't deserve it(Is what they think..)

They are pathetically in love, and if they deserve anything, its to tell their special one just how much they are adored before casting themselves out of society (or taking their own life, if ur comfortable writing such things-)

Rolan, Dammon, Zevlor, maybe even Rugan if u write for that loser LMAO. just.. whoever u write for, its the tieflings i adore most ahegege

if this didnt make sense IM SORRY i havent slept in so long and sleep is not choosing me. i just crave angst, perhaps with a happy ending if u would indulge me so..!! thank u if u read this, so much!!

hi, I don't write fics about suicide, but here's the tiefling bachelors with a durge who's planning to disappear after the absolute is gone and giving them one final confession:

Dammon

senses something is wrong when you take him aside for a heart-to-heart.

it isn't that you avoid these sorts of moments per se, he just knows you only affirm your affections when something big is going to happen (you did it before you went off to fight the elder brain)

he holds your hand tightly, gets you to look him in the eye.

"I love you, no matter what, and I never want to be without you. tell me you'll be there when I wake up tomorrow. in our bed. swear it to me."

you can see the utter adoration he looks at you with, and you think: maybe you aren't so bad if a man like this can truly love you.

the next morning Dammon wakes up. you're not in bed next to him. he panics, getting to his feet - only to find you in the kitchen making breakfast.

he's never been so relieved. walks up behind you and wraps you in his arms. he loves you so dearly, and will keep on loving you until you believe yourself worthy of it.

Rolan

Rolan doesn't quite understand why you're having this great outburst, but chalks it down to emotions running high after the final battle.

says goodnight, kisses you, and heads off to his tower - he has a lot of admin to do after all.

the next morning he comes to meet you at the elfsong, only to be met with the realisation that you aren't there. he curses himself for not understanding why you were so melancholic last night.

he tracks you down. uses all of his resources to scry on you, grease palms with the money the tower has. he's up all night for weeks. Cal and Lia worry about him but he is determined.

and find you he does. manages to locate where you're hiding out, a little hamlet in the middle of nowhere. you burst into tears when you see him, and he just pulls you into his arms.

"come home with me."

you do, moving into his tower. and you never leave him again.

Zevlor

immediately knows something is wrong. takes you to a quiet place where the two of you can be alone and talk things out.

discusses how he feels like being a failure for breaking his oath -- but you always saw past that. saw the goodness in his soul. he wishes you would treat yourself with that kindness.

you begin to cry, softly at first, and then with sobs which wrack your whole body. he holds you ever so tightly.

"I love you. you are not who you were. you have strived to be better every day, fought against your own family, and always chosen a righteous path. you deserve to be happy. I'd want to make you happy, if you'd let me."

eventually your tears run dry and you look up into his face. his eyes are so sincere. he means every word.

when you kiss him, it's a promise: that you're with him for good. that whatever comes next, it will be faced together.

[olde-scratch]

psst hey. chimera!laios. you want it.

(reblogs >>>>>> likes)

(ignore that i didnt add fleshy colors to his hands and i forgot his knuckles on one of them shhh)

my friend @gltchghst and i came up with a chimera!laios for a falin/laios roleswap au that i wrote a oneshot for (link here) (eventually u should check my prof in case i turn it into a series of connected oneshots).

where falin gets chest feathers, laios gets a happy trail. why? well. laios is an adult. and IM an adult.

sketches in read more along with notes about chimera!laios. spoilers, obvi.

did i lowkey trace the sketch of falin ripping her shirt because i couldn't be bothered to make the pose myself? yeah. ive never drawn that angle or pose before and i didn't wanna burn myself out trying to figure it out. im not trying to hide it so its fine.

i was gonna do a little simplified anatomy sketch for it but cannot be bothered so instead have bulletpoints

where falin has feathers, laios has fur. idk if thistle just gave falin feathers or if he combined her with another animal, but laios i think would be happy if we did two monsters instead of one + another basic trait. we ended up using dungeon rabbits, the blades of which you can very faintly see hidden in the fur on his forearms in the second image.

the red dragon itself does not actually have wings, which would technically make it a drake. (eastern dragons are technically wyrms, which also exist.) however, wings are cool, and dragons are supposed to have wings. thistle has wings on his eye of the magician dragons, and those are red. so its basically the same thing.

chimera!laios is significantly bigger than chimera!falin. falin herself isn't as tall as laios, but there's also the fact that falin has magic on her side. she has feathers to make herself appear bigger than she is. this all very much seems to play to falin's strengths, since she is a magic-user. laios, however, is a tank, and this is apparent in his bigger stature (falin's like 35 ft i think, i imagine he's 5-10 feet taller and much bulkier) and the red dragon hide across more of his body which we know is extremely tough.

falin has magic. she has Magic. HELLO. laios gets to breathe fire. ITS FAIR OKAY. laios isn't made to breathe fire so i imagine that it also severely impacts his ability to talk (rather than him being extremely disoriented or just a puppet) by causing burns on the inside of his mouth (and probably the remaining human portion of his throat before it turns into dragon). he also probably couldn't breathe the fire very far, since he does still have a human mouth, but he can also use the wings to fan any fires he does cause. modern problems.

falin has more estrogen in her body than testosterone and isn't a front-line fighter. laios, however, is Male and exercises A Lot, so his fat stores will be empty looong before falin's would have been. on top of nourishing a bigger body, he also cant eat without causing pain to himself due to the open burns on the inside of his mouth. someone else come up with a concrete way to redo the curry scene, maybe tire him out and feed him some medicinal herbs before they freeze him. mf ain't fighting for long.

laios has horns because same reason as the happy trail. my friend and i are into men. if u don't like it make your own chimera!laios design. this is for Us.

yeah this entire thing is just us 'rule of cool'ing chimera!laios and doing our best to use logic to justify it. keep scrolling.

the shirt in the second image is falin's shirt, and i think that even though they are rather similar, falin's shirts might end up being too short for laios. does this mean he got abducted with his entire everything out? no, i think either falin grabbed and salvaged a pair of his pants from their stuff (maybe the extra shirt was one they shared or maybe it got got by a dungeon creature?) or they whipped up/found him a pair of shorts. i think canonically falin borrowed marcille's underwear but i don't think anything they have is fitting laios.

maybe its because im biased considering laios is one of my favorite characters but my friend enabled me so i think laios would be capable of more destruction than falin. she's meant to use magic to locate delgal (tho she isn't often seen doing it to the extent id expect her to be), but i think laios' method of searching would be to pick up where thistle can't and use physical search-and-rescue to find delgal instead of more magic. thistle wont let him leave any more than falin, so this point is moot, but yk. i think laios' ability to destroy would also do more to symbolize thistle's growing desperation to find delgal and his willingness to destroy what's in his path to do so.

maybe soon ill redraw the falin and thistle interactions to do laios and thistle instead, but i know that i do want to draw some wish fulfillment art where thistle gets a nice big hug. it probably wouldn't be as comfy as falin's, and laios has weapons on his arms, and also laios would be really sweaty and gross with no feathers to act as a buffer, but no one said thistle had to enjoy the hug.

[hearts-4-vicky]

ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ꜱᴛᴜᴘɪᴅ ✧

ahn yujin

warnings: angst , (might be shitty tho cuz ive never written angst b4..) swearing.., lots of dialogue holy shit they yap a lot, aouad au, major character death(s) , yujins a FUCKING loser, unrequited love kinda.., blood n other nasty stuff so bewareeee if you’re sensitive to that kind of stuff🫡

wc: 1.3k (woah)

hi m like sad rn so yeah yay mwah😘

“yujin”

“yn”

the two of you found yourselves star gazing on the rooftop, using it as an escape from the cruel reality you were living in

“do you think this will ever go back to normal?”

the girl paused, not wanting to demolish any sliver of hope you had left in your bruised body

“of course i do.. why? you doubting me?”

yujin playfully pouted at you, poking at your thigh

“huh? what- no. . I trust you”

an awkward silence developed between you two

“hey” yujin started

you looked towards her, waiting for her to continue

“m sorry bout earlier. . i didnt-“

you socked her in the arm.

“HOLY SHIT what the actual FUCK.”

the girl started to complain, though it fell upon deaf ears

“dude, i told ya it was okay. i shouldve made more attention”

leaning your head on the taller’s shoulder, you rubbed the spot where she was hit. you felt yujin stiffen at the lack of space between the two of you but you chose to ignore it

“ynnie.”

“yunjinniee”

“your ankle is getting worse..”

your gaze followed where her finger pointed at, there you noticed how swollen and discolored your ankle had gotten

“pfft- s whatever! ill jus walk it off-“

BANG!

both of you searched for where the commotion was, finding a few monsters had gotten to the rooftops entrance

yujin had to act fast, each time she struggled to make a decision could mean your death.

“fuck. yn can you walk?”

“uh- y-yeah. . i think”

yujin was too in her head to hear the last thing you said before she grabbed your arm and booked it to the other entrance, she slammed open the door, not thinking about the other zombies in the school

dragging you down the stairs, she watched as 3 more of those things saw the both of you

she froze.

“yn . . i-“

“GO!”

she heard a door slam open and felt the impact of the floor against her back

“ow- fuck. wait- yn?”

yujin watched as the door stayed open, your figure on the floor

“ynnie. . cmon! those things are getting closer!”

you crawled to the door while yujin got up to shut the door after you entered

pulling you to the corner of the classroom, you both began to catch your breath, grateful that this room was empty . .

a minute passed by before yujin looked at your disheveled form, feeling guilty once again

“hey- hey um.. im so so sorry this happened, god you have cuts on your face! fuck. if only-“

you put a finger to her lips.

“ stop rambling, i should be okay by tomorrow . .”

seeing the girls pout, you gave her a quick peck on the cheek

though it didnt help at all

“im in love with you.” she confessed

“what? are you serious?” you whispered, backing away from the girl

“oh. um yeah. . sorry the timing is so shitty..”

“you think so? oh my god yujin. i already told you we cant be together like this! plus, we nearly died out there what the fuck do you mean you’re in love with me?”

“m sorry really but i couldn’t help it. . i thought i shoulda told you cause what if we do die?”

“shut up.”

“okay. yes ma’am”

“ma’am?”

“ i meant yn. .”

you heard the girls voice break with each sentence, nearly making you cry but it would alert the monsters outside

minutes passed by. you only heard the screams of other students, before they were soon turned into just another shell of the person they once were

“y-yn” yujin whispered

“yujin. .”

“. . why cant you love me as much as i love you?”

“. . . you know i can't ans-“

“you say that every single time! please, just. . just say it.”

looking at the heartbroken girl tore you apart, if only this world hadnt changed so drastically, you could be happy with yujin

“ i want to be with you yujin. really, i do but . . you know im not here anymore.”

hearing that made the taller girl shiver. her vision getting more and more blurry with each second of silence between the two,

“oh. . r-right, fuck yeah you’re right”

she brought her knees to her chest, clinging onto them as if it were her dead lover, wanting to feel the warmth of anything in her arms,

“man. . this-this really fucking sucks”

yujins voice began to break due to her realization that you really were dead. she didnt save you. she couldn’t save you. how pathetic was that? the only person she cared about dead. dead, all because she didnt think quick enough.

“ i know . . though, please know im sorry for whats going to happen”

“huh?-“

BANG!

the girl’s eyes snapped to the classroom door, through the glass she saw the face of the one she cherished most, amongst the mahogany colored blood and drool . . yujin recognized that face, how could she not? she grew to love every ‘imperfection’ you thought you had. she always thought you were the most breathtaking woman she ever laid eyes on, no flaw could ever lessen the amount of love yujin had for you

but she had failed you. she promised to keep you safe, with every part of her soul. it didnt seem to be enough . . since you here were, lunging at yujin with no thought in your head.

the remnant of sanity you had was gone, as the husk of the person you once were started clawing at yujins torso

she felt every bone in her body break into brittle pieces, making yujin open her eyes

as she gazed into your bloodshot eyes she wondered how things would’ve went if she pulled you into the room quicker.

each passing second was like hell, struggling to breathe as you had broken through her skin

coughing up the crimson liquid was loud enough to alert the other monsters to yujins location,

wanting to look at her lover’s face for the last time, she noticed a small tear slide down your dirtied face

yujin wiped it away just before a hoard of zombies decided to help finish her off

at least the both of you would be together, right?

.

.

.

a group of survivors discovered the classroom yujin had passed in, they found a letter dedicated to you

“𝓣𝓸 𝓶𝔂 𝓨𝓷

𝓔𝓪𝓬𝓱 𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓘 𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓭 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓘 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓭𝓮𝓿𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓴𝓮𝓮𝓹𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓼𝓪𝓯𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝓱𝓸𝓵𝓮. 𝓔𝓪𝓬𝓱 𝓭𝓪𝔂 . . 𝓘 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓶𝔂𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯 𝓯𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓷𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓪𝓵 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓶. 𝓘 𝓻𝓮𝓰𝓻𝓮𝓽 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓽𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓫𝓮𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓭, 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓘 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓲𝓽 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓹𝓵𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓯𝓾𝓻𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻. 𝓘’𝓶 𝓰𝓵𝓪𝓭 𝓘 𝓱𝓪𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓸𝓹𝓹𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓾𝓷𝓲𝓽𝔂 𝓽𝓸 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓼𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓭 𝓼𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓫𝓮𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓮. . 𝓘 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓶𝓪𝔂 𝓼𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭 𝓼𝓽𝓾𝓹𝓲𝓭, 𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓘 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔂𝓷. 𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷 𝓪𝓷𝔂 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓾𝓪𝓰𝓮𝓼 𝔀𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓵𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓿𝓮𝔂. 𝓘’𝓶 𝓼𝓸𝓻𝓻𝔂 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓲𝓼 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓬𝓱 𝓪 𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓼𝓸𝓾𝓵 𝓪𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼. . 𝓘 𝓻𝓮𝓰𝓻𝓮𝓽 𝓶𝓪𝓷𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓲𝓷 𝓶𝔂 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮 𝓫𝓾𝓽, 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓷𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓫𝓮 𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓶. 𝓘 𝔀𝓲𝓼𝓱 𝔀𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓼𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓭𝓸𝔀𝓷 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓰𝓻𝓸𝔀 𝓸𝓵𝓭 𝓽𝓸𝓰𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻, 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓵𝓭 𝓲𝓼 𝓪 𝓬𝓻𝓾𝓮𝓵 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰, 𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓪𝓷𝔂 𝓭𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓷𝓸𝓻𝓶𝓪𝓵 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮 𝓪𝓰𝓪𝓲𝓷. 𝓨𝓷, 𝓘 𝓽𝓻𝓾𝓵𝔂 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝔂 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽, 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝔂 𝓼𝓸𝓾𝓵.

𝓕𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼,

𝓐𝓱𝓷 𝓨𝓾𝓳𝓲𝓷.”

pls don burn me at the stake cuz i wrote. rhrisd😞🙏

anyways.. stay safe n i love you guys so so much

- vicky 💋

[call-of-ishmael]

Canto V and Ishmael's suicidal ideation

When the trailer for Canto V came out the narration over it and the tone gave me a lot of vibes of themes of suicidal ideation.

It wasnt present in the way id expect, but it was there and id like to talk about it

1. Her days prior to the Pequod

Ishmaels life before being a sailor isnt talked about much in her Canto, what we see though is pretty interesting

She expresses how she has come to hate the expectations, you work your ass off studying, getting degrees, applying to offices, to net you the job and life everyone says you should have.

A very interesting point to make is how she talks about it. The dread she feels as she expresses that thinking ahead thinking how this is gonna be her whole life, makes her feel empty.

"I didnt know if i wanted to die or if i just wanted my life to be different" [paraphrasing here] is a line we hear in this scene, however its followed up by her saying if she had to die somewhere itd be at the sea. She is unsure if what she wanted was to die, but her actions and thoughts point us that way, she frames it as where she wants her final resting place to be

2. The Pequod

Ishmael is from Ucorps Nest, The Great Lake should not be uncommon knowledge to the residents, a place full of monsters, where its known sailors who cant take it anymore jump into the waves to be free. And this is the place she wished to go to. She makes a desicion to join a ship that would take just about anyone to hunt whales.

In that gesture we see more of the previously mentioned thinking, she says shes not sure she wants to die but jumped into one of the most dangerous jobs around pretty quickly

In the Pequod she also experiences more trauma that leads her downwards even more, a controlling figure, molding everyone there into who they want them to be, a constant fear of death, endless fights against monsters, and eventually the loss of who she loved.

But its also a moment where we are shown, once she found some support, once she and Queequeg started working together towards a life goal she became determined to survive, she had a clear idea of where to go, a compass to follow. Before it was taken away.

3. Limbus Company, and Canto V

During the events of Limbus Company prior to Canto V we see Ishmael as a pretty driven person, she doesnt wanna die, at first, shes kept alive by a singular goal to find Ahab

By 4.5 and V we see this is, again, a self destructive endeavor

Her unique status effect "Compulsion" during the chapter is a way to communicate shes hurting herself constantly during this Canto, her usual ability to keep calm to not be consumed by her fears, worries, obsessions and compulsions falls apart

Ishmael at many points doesnt seem like she wants to come back alive, she willingly enters into the body of the whale only knowing she has something that can delay pallidification, not having a good plan to escape. She constantly tosses herself into danger, not caring how she gets hurt.

One of the more interesting tidbits is entering the dungeon. The first EGO gift she gains, exclusively applying effects to her, is a noose.

Its a culmination of the message, shes been hurting herself this whole time, she charges ahead, to kill that bastard, to kill Ahab. If she dies, its fine by her

And then the turning point is on the CG used for this section, another blatant gesture of letting her own life go, letting the membrane form around her, letting herself be consumed.

When shes broken out out the membrane it mirrors queequeg saving her in the past, the person who made her think of the future for once, to WANT to have a future.

Its the moment she realizes the sinners have been there for her, she has blinded herself to not think of any of the good moments, not even the ones she had with Queequeg.

She realizes shes not alone anymore

And she wants to live, somehow, she might not know how, but that hasnt stopped her before

Her compass is curiosity after all, she will find her path.

[adidegmez]

spn s13 spoilers

s13 ep1(lost and found)

if dean thinks cas is really dead then what did they do to his body? did they burn him, bury him or nothing? jack is just a baby right now. winchesters are maybe not superheroes but they are my heroes. dean is just telling the truth?! he is not okay. he lost everyone he cared except sam. sam is calmer than dean. jack is just a sweet little boy. sam is scared. castiel is jacks father(according to jack at least). thats nice. damian as in damian wayne? i dont think i know anyone else named damian. dean'S prayer… he even add crowley he loved him(sometimes). and Chuck he left and he just doesnt care. he left lucifer on earth. everything happened on this Show is because of him. and i still believe if they raise jack right he will be good. no one is born evil. even if lucifer was a bad guy he was an angel he was the angel. jack is half angel and this is not a bad thing. dean said goodbye to everyone cas, kelly, mom and crowley. and crowley i just cant he said his name with the other people he cared about people he respected and its sad that crowley didnt get to see this. Dean accepted the deaths of all of them. How can he do this? They can still return, why not? and mary did return she is not dead.

s13 ep2(the rising son)

im sos sorry dean but sam is right. He is right on every part of this issue. Jack is not bad, your mother is alive, the only way to save her is with Jack's help. i knew jack was watching scooby i thought dean would let him watch. but i think he needs a little time to know jack. sam is nerveous when talking to jack because he never had an experience with kids like dean had. dean would calm jack down he wouldve known what to do but he is mourning the people he lost and he is angry. and that prevents him see the way that sam sees. sam did a good job with jack. i expected dean to say he is batman but i guess its not the time. lucifer is funny sometimes. good job jack. i think dean will understand jack, eventually. i hope that time comes soon.

s13 ep3(patience)

kelly was a great mother. i get deans point of view but he needs to calm down. it's been a long time missouri. she died! jack really cares about deans opinions just like his dad(cas). dean will get over this and he will be nicw to jack eventually, i just hope it wont be late. yes, sam is the best person to understand jack. this is brilliant. i really love how he treats jack. i love sam. i know dean is in pain but sam is right this is resembles to sam's situation. sam deserved to be saved so does jack. and jack didnt do anything wrong yet he has been on earth like a week. and cas mary it wasnt his fault. dean lost them and he is blaming jack. but its lucifers fault. and jack doesnt deserves a this treatment from dean. dean should help sam save jack. i have always been on the same page as dean always but not this time. i hope dean changes his mind soon. because i need both winchesters in the same page. cas! im glad he is back but if he could return does this mean crowley could return too. and i think i finally understand something. Charlie and now rowena are dead and they wont return cause the story doesnt need them anymore. but i need them to return. i always see spoilers but ive never heard rowenas death. and ive never seen anything about charlie's return. but i want them to return. I didn't even like Rowena that much in the beginning but lately I've started to like her. Charlie is a completely different matter, i always loved her, I need her to come back.

s13 ep4(the big empty)

clone wars!!!!!!! i didnt see that coming. clone wars is my favorite star wars Show. i love ahsoka too but anakin is not bad sam. well he turned to vader but he was a good master palpatine manipulated. i hope jack loves clones. they are my favorite thing about star wars. clones are amazing. dean cas sam and crowley closed the door. crowley sacrificed himself. i think i love jack. cas where are you? why does lucifer need mary? Dean needs to pull himself together as soon as possible, he scares Jack, he even upsets Sam. misha is amazing. finally dean complimented jack. i needed that. finally dean is thinking like sam. thank you dean. cas is back.

s13 ep5(advanced thanatology)

yes, something is wrong with sam. dean wears sunglasses indoors. Do the w's represent how many times the winchesters died? did billie become death? she is death thats not good. I wish Dean hadn't killed death. I loved him. thats a good thing afterall. billie let dean live. Dean lost his faith. But when Cas comes, he will be happy. hi cas. welcome back. look in their eyes. team free will together again.

s13 ep6(tombstone)

cas is back. everyone is happy. i missed you cas. and the hugs. jack did it jack brought him back. team free will 2.0 . dean is back. he really missed cas. his eyes are shining. i missed funny dean. Seeing Dean happy makes me happy. cas… all i can think about is his character development. he is an amazing character. he changed so much. his talk with jack was beautiful. hats, dean is really back. dean finally said it, jack is not a monster. i wish he didnt leave. i hope hell come back.

s13 ep7(war of the worlds)

what happened to mary? So will Michael be the villain of this season? i knew it was kevin. hi kevin! i missed you. i think i would prefer lucifer to that Michael. lucifer is so funny. lucifer is back, Mary stayed in the other World. i thought ketch was a clone. I don't remember seeing anything about clones in this series, but for some reason the first thing that comes to my mind is always clones. But it turned out to be an evil twin. i believe that story hes telling the truth. rowena isnt dead right? cas and lucifer, lucifer is so funny. and he is trying to save the World for himself probably. i believed ketch. asmodeus and ketch, they will trouble the Winchesters. If Dean had said yes to Ketch, would Ketch have worked with them instead of Asmodeus?

s13 ep8(the scorpion and the frog)

supernatural really did everything. now there is a heist episode. and it was funny. yes, i missed hopeful dean. it was nice to see that. Didn't Bart say there were copies of the spell? Couldn't they find them? The bus scene reminded me of the scene where they left Charlie on the bus. i missed Charlie.

s13 ep9(the bad place)

i think jack wants to bring mary back not lucifer. Jack gets very happy when he gets a "good job" from Dean. And that makes me happy too. Jack also joined the family. I love him. dean! why did you treat her like that? well at least jack found mary and the winchesters are together. but idk where kaia is.

s13 ep10(wayward sisters)

claire is getting better at hunting. they are on a hunting trip… they said it again. i like it. i love donna and the others, we should see them more. i love jody. Claire's speech was like the beginning of a new series. I researched but they haven't made a mini series, I hope they tell this story here. i love the girls they are amazing.

s13 ep11(breakdown)

the real fbi is here. The beginnings of the episodes always resemble Criminal Minds. but almost the entire episode was really like cm. garcia would find her quickly. i liked doug. i hoped he would become a hunter. doug and donna were good. come on, first dean now sam they lost hope but it was always like this and they believed this job. but now they are in a dark place. i need hopeful winchesters back.

s13 ep12(various & sundry villans)

lucifer is hilarious. omg not the love spell. not dean please. yes sam save dean. hello boys(crowley said it the best). hi rowena. welcome back. how are you alive? they all forgot about adam. cas loves his son. i love how he talks about jack. Rowena asked about Crowley because she wondered if he might pose a risk to her, right? I wish there were nice mother and son scenes. I don't even think Rowena would be upset about Crowley's death, but I wish she would be. she is sad?! rowena is right. when is lucifer ever gone. he always comes back. cas and lucifer made a good team. that was a little brutal. Rowena took the page, didn't she? i thought sam would give her but i didnt think would do it. but he did. lucifer is not dead. We forget the traumas of the Winchesters very quickly, they are not even mentioned. They always show themselves strong, they don't show what's inside them. Dean spent 40 years in hell, Sam was tortured by Lucifer, Dean had to survive in purgatory… I hope Rowena doesn't cause trouble for the boys.

s13 ep13(devil's bargain)

i thought lucifer would let cupid live but he killed him and i suppose he did it just for fun. i forgot about ketch. How did Lucifer not die? i missed kevin. sister jo(daneel ive been waiting for this, i thought we would saw her earlier on the show). Doesn't the prophet know the difference between Cas and Asmodeus? ketch is right. lucifer cant do the things he promised, right? gabriel!!! well, i hope winchesters can save him.

s13 ep14(good intentions)

Dean you are amazing Cas you are amazing too. Mary is not Mary. They're still messing with Jack's head, right? hi bobby! sometimes jack's smiles are sweet but sometimes he scared me he smiles like lucifer sometimes, other than that he is just a sweet boy. and i love him. i love this bobby too but i want old bobby. mary made the deal she brought so much pain to her boys but we saw what the world would be like if she hadn't made that deal, and I think Mary did the right thing. If that deal hadn't happened, we would never have met the boys. cas! i dont like where this is going. i hope cas wont go far. Dean and Sam are Jack's role models, I think he chose very good role models. Whatever it takes… both Dean and Cas go too far. They need to calm down and think a bit. I hope nothing bad happens to them. I'm sorry about Donatello, I didn't like him as much as Kevin, but he was still a good guy. He didn't deserve what happened to him (like all the good characters in the series)

s13 ep15(a most holy man)

While Dean was saying enjoy, he was thinking things like this will be the last time you drive and he was imagining how he would kill that man. yes i totally believe dean would kill for the baby. I heard that that scene was improvised and it's really a perfect scene. I never thought that the blood would come from that man. I thought it would be from someone we knew before or someone very important.

s13 ep16(scoobynatural)

do you know how long i've been waiting for this. I've seen a lot of clips about this episode and I was very curious about it. When I started this season, I was thinking that they were opening a portal to the Scooby universe with Jack. I even thought that they would travel to different universes throughout the season thanks to Jack's portals. just for fun. But when it comes to SPN, sometimes this is only possible for a few episodes. There is a villain in every season and the world is in danger, so team Free Will has to save the World all over again. But did the trickster really die and come back, or was he never dead? i really love when dean is being a fanboy. he genuinely loves them and he shows that he loves them. and i love him for this. i love deans love for scooby-doo. this is one of my favorite episodes now. it was awesome. i love dean. i love sam and cas too but dean has a special place in my heart.

s13 ep17(the thing)

poor gabriel, I hope he can get out of there. Ketch is saving Gabriel right now, even if it's for himself. where is cas? why aent they waiting for him? ketch did some bad things, idk how to feel about him. gabriel is okay for nw with sam. dean really has a death wish. he doesnt care if he dies he only care about the others. yeah this is a nice thing but he would die to protect them and i dont want him to die.

s13 ep18(bring 'em back alive)

Charlie! Until two days ago, I didn't see anything about whether we would see Charlie in this series again but then I learned that we will see the apocalyptic world version of her. I knew she would come but I didn't expect that we would see her now. i missed her. She shouldn't have died. why didnt they wait for cas? i think ketch really cared about mary. gabriel is back! and he left. Asmodeus is dead, right? i hope he wont come back. ketch is complicated. Charlie is acting like our Charlie. i couldnt believe charlie's death and i still cant. she shouldn't have died.

s13 ep19(funeralia)

rowena what are you doing? i thought maybe rowena was trying to get crowley back but then i said she wouldnt do that. is she really trying to get fergus back? if thatsthe truth please let her try. i want crowley back. rowena is kinda right only team free will gets to come back from the dead. naomi is alive. I hope Sam doesn't have to kill Rowena. I started to love Rowena even more. I think there is such a thing as the Winchester Effect. They changed an angel, the king of hell, the most powerful witch and many more people and turned them into better people, and it is great to watch the character development of those characters. They changed Rowena as well as Crowley. I think Rowena loved Crowley. I wish she had the chance to tell Crowley that, or at least show it.

s13 ep20(unfinished business)

Fenrir from Norse mythology, right? I realized the last part was similar to Steve and Tony's argument (Marvel). we'll löse, we'll do that together too… they lost, steve wasn't there. i hope sam could be there when it comes to that. I can't be sure about deaths when it comes to tricksters. I even wondered if Loki replaced Gabriel at the end, but they wouldn't do such a thing because the story would be extended unnecessarily and there is no need for such a thing. i missed our kevin, he wouldnt do that. poor jack. mary sees her as a son:)

s13 ep21(beat the devil)

rowena and gabriel? little awkward but funny. In the beginning ep was hilarious but then it all went dark. rowena didn't run, this time she stayed. she has changed(the winchester effect). lucifer's bar scene was awesome. Sam died and came back, thanks to Lucifer. I'm glad he is back but lucifer brought him. they found jack and mary. dean watched his brother die, again. and the look on his face is telling everything. im glad the brothers are back together.

s13 ep22(exodus)

no, mary. i know you want to help the other World but your boys came for you. you shouldnt do that to them. lucifer is not entirely wrong. yes he does so many bad things but sometimes he does good things. like most of the villains on spn he is complicated. I've seen the scene where Cas and Lucifer drive the bus on the internet before, but I didn't think it was real. I thought it was someone's dream or something. i know lucifer is bad but he tried to do the right thing. he fought Michael, and now he is doing bad things because sam wouldnt let him come with them. sam has hs reasons but now lucifer is going to help Michael nd i think he is not happy about it because h will have brought Michael to the other world, just as his relationship with Jack was getting better. and he knows this will upset his son. Gabriel isn't really dead, right? Otherwise they woudn't have zoomed in on his face. its always good to see bobby but i wish we couldve seen our bobby with the boys and our Charlie.

s13 ep23(let the good times roll)

I would like to see charlie and rowena together. Dean's dream is very beautiful, but with their luck, it is impossible. I wish it could happen, no one deserved retirement more than them. but i dont think they would get a happy ending. This is how I wanted Dean to treat Jack from the beginning. Dean's speech was beautiful. soft dean is my favorite, he is kind and sweet when he needs to be. I love him. I was going to believe in Lucifer because he wanted his son and was doing good things just for him, but in the end he ruined everything again. Dean, you tried so hard to keep Michael from getting to you. I wanna cry. michael has dean, i hope dean can beat him. Is Lucifer really gone? dean… i want to kill Michael. i hope dean will be the one to kill him. The suit and hat suit Dean very well. Just when good things are happening, everything turns bad, and every season, boys cannot find comfort. Can't the kids relax for just one season? There won't be a big bad guy for the end of the season, maybe if they want they can hunt like in the first season or just have a good time together in the

bunker. only 1 season. I wish… but it's impossible. i just want to see them happy.

[nicolej4]

He landed on his feet on rotten, old wood after he jumped from the small harbor building that just collapsed in front of him. The debris and ropes falling into the deep water around him. He was lucky that there were a few old boats floating around the old dock, he thought.

He never would have imagined that the young boy would hold that much hatred inside his heart. No, that`s not actually true - he hoped with every fiber of his body that the boy would at least stop and listen to him.

Not that he could blame him after all...

"Listen to me!"

It wasnt a shout. The words werent giving any trace of anger of irritation. It was a plea. It didnt help Law that the rotten boats around him didn´t seem to hold for long until they started to sink into the ocean.

It also didn´t help that the colors of the deep blue water slowly turned into a toxic green. Whatever the liquid inside the glassy bottles were - it reeked of a mixture of metal and acid. He had no clue what it was, but when he saw countless of fishes and sea organisms started to float at the surface of the ocean, he could only guess just how deadly it was.

And it only raised his worry deep within his chest. He couldn´t imagine that the poisonous liquid wouldn´t affect his son whom stepped out of the debris, joggling with the various glasses with an invisible ability Law was all too familiar with.

Of course he wouldn´t listen. His brown eyes - a color which reminded him so much of the person he once loved - a person whom he tried his hardest to find after she was taken from him almost three years ago by that fearful cyborg.

He didn´t know if he could ever see her again.

He didn´t know if he would survive this.

The brown eyes darkened as he stepped closer, hopping from debris to one of the floating boats. His hands - knuckles tattooed like his own with the letters "Love" and "Life" (irony given the fact that his hatred-driven son actually tried to kill his own father) - grabbed another pair of glasses. Filled with a bright blueish liquid this time. He stopped on the edge of the boat, not caring in the slightest that the splinters of the rotten wood dug into the skin of his naked feet. His dark brown eyes simply stared to the man only 20 feet away from his spot. The man who dared to leave him and his mother behind in that place.

Sweat dripped from his forehead, his brows furrowed as he grabbed Kikoku, leaving the sword still sheathed. He narrowed his eyes at him when he noticed that the boy had stopped his actions. Hope started to rise in his heaving chest again. He started to feel the effects of the fog that formed on the surface of the greenish ocean.

"I don´t want to fight against you" he started slowly and cautiously, as if he was facing a wild beast baring its fangs at him.

His hope didn´t fade away when the boy still didn´t move a muscle, eyes staring at him intensely. Law swallowed.

"I don´t know what the world government had been telling you.... When I lost her..." he paused, noticing the boy´s mouth turning into a snarl. One wrong word and he knew that he was done for. He knew that he was the only one who could help finding the love of his life and the mother of this boy.

"I spend all the time to try and find her... In those three years, I couldn´t find a trace of where she could be" he stopped when he saw the boys brows narrow further while a faint glimmer could be seen from his left eye. This boy fought hard to not shed a tear. His heart felt the same - empty, angry, desperate, irritated, sad. Hopeless.

"I will save her" because he knew that she couldn´t be dead. She couldn´t be. The boy winced. "I will do all I can to find and save her" he finished.

The boy´s snarl grew bigger when he growled out for the first time of their meeting.

"Trafalgar Law... Do you think I am stupid?" his heart skipped a beat and his breath caught in his throat when his son lowered his face, the shadow of his old furry spotted hat hiding his eyes. The hat he had given to Nami before they were attacked by the world government on that fateful night.

"Three years...." the boy continued. "I am not a fucking toddler anymore" he raised his head and bared his little fangs. He didn´t know what they did to Nami when the government had captured her, but he was sure that it also affected his son. His strong guess was that they had forced her to eat a Zoan fruit. Although the most disturbing fact was that his son could obviously use his own abilities - at least to some extent - and was able to withstand water without the slightest sign of weakness. He had heard about the rumors, although they tried to keep it top secret about what happened in the deepest floors of Impel Down. He just hoped that they wouldn´t succeed to create a new form of devil fruits that fast.

"It´s not like I am growing faster than any normal person" his son continued with a low growl, snapping him out of his thoughts. "In fact, she has waited for you for 18 years".

The world around him seemed to still. 18 years? The boy in front of him looked in fact like a boy in his late teenage years. How was that possible? Did Kuma send her into another time? Or into a place where time went by different? How could she wait this long? What left a deep hole inside his heart was the thought that she might indeed be dead by now.

His vision started to spin. The fog became thicker around them, though it clearly didn´t affect the boy. His time was running out. As a doctor he knew that his slowing heartrate was a sign that the poison of the fog wasn´t just making him dizzy or sleepy - it was killing him slowly. A painful reminder that the chances of getting to know his own son were dimishing.

The sight of his fathers shock did surprise him. They had told him about the dishonorable, cold-hearted, selfish, vicious and cruel Surgeon of Death. He wasn´t expecting to meet a man that actually showed signs of interest.... and was that affection? He shook his head, not letting uncertainty cloud his mind. His only goal was to get his revenge on the Surgeon of Death for having left behind the very person that filled his life with love in a dead, toxic environment where despair, hunger and close death accompanied their daily life.

A bright face of a 23 year old beautiful woman with long, curly orange hair and white teeth appeared in his vision. Her smile was geniue and infectious, infecting everything touching it with life. "I love you....."

His eyes opened wide and with a loud, horrific roar he jumped forward, summoning a small ball that sucked in the gases of the liquids leaving the glasses that still floated around his body in a safe distance.

Law´s eyes widened as his weakened body instinctively readied itself to defend.

"YOU WILL FEEL THE PAIN WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH EVERY DAY"

[k0r3-h34rt]

sometimes I feel so fucking stupid. So useless. Worthless.

Why can't I just be normal. Why can't I sleep. Why can't I just close my eyes and wake up in the morning. Why and I always up at 1am. 2am. 3am. 4am.

Why do I simply not sleep some nights.

Why can I not remember.

Why do I not remember.

Why can I not be normal.

Why. Why WHy. WHY? WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY AM I SO FUCKING MESSED UP.

Why can't I just function properly. Why do I have to have so many issues. Why can't I have a properly functioning body. Why do I always have to be in pain. Why can't my ears work properly. Why don't my eyes see normally. Why do I have to be like this. Why am I in this body. Why can't I be normal. Why can't I just be a girl. Or have a boys body. Why do I have to be this dysphoric, depressed, fucked up epicentre. Why do I have to be a boy in a girls body. Why can't anyone love me for me. Not for my tits. Not for my body. Not for the attention. Not for the pity. Not for the fucked up experience. Why can't someone just love me. Why am I never enough. Why.

Why do I always hurt. Why must I ache so deeply with no cure. Why must I live. Why do I have to care. Why can't I just not care about others. Why am I such a fucking coward that I can't drive a knife through my chest and finish this nightmare. Why can't I wake up from this horrific dream.

Why was I punished for trying to be kind. I simply wanted to give them a friend. I guess I found out why they had none. Why must I be haunted by my actions committed with the purest heart and the kindest intentions.

Why couldn't my attempts have worked. Why did my attempts never work. Why were they all too weak. Why am I too weak. Why can't I just end this nightmare. Why do I have to care that it would hurt others. Why do I care that people would cry. Far more people would never even know. It's getting bad.

I know if I take my meds I'll feel better. But do I even want to.

Life sucks. People suck. I'm lonely, I'm hurt. No one sees me for me. No one thinks of me. They think of the person they want me to be when they look at me.

I want to read and make art and write. But whats the point.

There are days where I can barely get out of bed. There are days I don't. My teeth are yellow. I can't stand in the shower. I don't know how humour works. I bluescreen when people say something I don't have a programmed response to. My limbs feel wrong. I want to tear my ribs from my chest. I want to hurt myself again. I want to feel the comforting sting of my blade instead of this hollow void. this yearning emptiness inside me. this. nothingness I feel.

I keep thinking of what my psychiatrist has said to me. "People see scars like that and go 'oh she's crazy' dont cut, because you dont want people to think you're crazy right?" "You can't have a mental illness till you're in your late twenties, you can exhibit symptoms, but I can't diagnose you silly." "You can't have that issue, it's so obvious in people when they have it" "You're crazy" "You just have to cut people out if they're a shark"

LIKE I FUCKING KNEW SHE WAS A TOXIC PERSON SUSAN. I WAS 10. SHE THREATENED TO HURT HERSELF, TO KILL HERSELF IF I LEFT. IF I DIDNT LET HER TOUCH ME SHE'D CRY AND ASK IIF I HATED HER. IF SHE WASNT GOOD ENOUGH. I WAS FUCKING 10 SUSAN. I CANT FIGHT EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE THAT KEEPS ME IN A SEXUALLY AND PHYSICLALY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP SUSAN. I was 10. How was I meant to be able to deal with that. I see my friends go through similar things, years later. at an age where they're mature enough not to shatter.

I want to die

I want it to end

I want to kill myself

I want to run a knife through my chest

I want to take all my prescription meds in one go

I want it to be over

I want to be at peace

I just want some peace

please

end me

I want a moment of freedom. from the pain. the memories. the ache. the numbness. the void. the thing eating away at me inside.

I CAN STILL FEEL HER HANDS ON IN OVER TOUCHING ME

i just want it to stop

[bluiex]

BLUIE, I have found a new way to torture Scar hehe (my friend was deeply concerned when he read it, but he doesnt understand the appeal to torture your blorbos) (tw: character death and suicide, i guess... it's zombie apocalypse ladies and gents and everyone in between)

So, basically, this is all the wonderful ideas i've seen from Vex hybridation theories, white hair Scar and the trauma of TCD. The way it would start is baby Scar (12 yo) and his mom live in the TCD world (his mom is a vex hybrid and his dad is like... evoker or smth, idk, havent figured out that part yet), and so, the reason why theyre in the TCD is bc his mom wanted to get away from the mansion she came from and wanted to protect her little grub (yes she calls him "my little grub", that term grew on me).

So, ofc, it's TCD, so, zombie apocalypse. So, they both pack their things and go north (totally not basing this on that they're in hypothetical USA and are going to Canada, no sireeee). And so, his mom is trying to find a way to get out of this world, but later on, she realizes the only way you can get out of this world is to die. Except, theres no guarantee you're either gonna die or you're gonna get infected, and if you get infected, can you truly die? Can you truly jump into another world when you were infected? Many questions, not much answers, huh.

And then time skip where Scar and his mom are running away from a horde of zombies. They find a surveillance tower, but they cant find the entrance. The horde is getting closer and they have no time nor the stamina to outrun them. So, his mom helps him get up on the tower and Scar tries to help her get up, but she just smiles at him and he sees his mom getting either eaten by the zombies or get infected by them. So, more trauma on him, hehe <3

Another time skip, and this time, he is all alone, he has learned he can use vex magic to help him jump higher up buildings, he learned how to keep his vex wings close to his back, not that they were useful with how many tares the zombies did to them. He has his Jellie plushie that he talks to almost all the time, even sees her as a mother figure (trauma hehe). So, he doesn't see that when he uses vex magic, his hair turns white, bc his mom's hair didnt turn white, it turns white bc of the dad side of things, the evoker and stuff, so, his vex magic has a mix of evoker magic and stuff. Also, his hair turns white whenever he thinks too much of his mom, like its a trauma response from his brain to use his vex magic to make it less painful.

Anyways, he meets a group of ppl and doesn't feel so alone anymore, so, his hair is back to its regular colour and the group called him "Scar" bc it was the name of his gun he found on a dead body and hes like, their best shooter. So, that group teaches him how to treat injuries (with a fuck ton of morphine and some medical technics), and just how to survive better than just eating protein bars and finding resources from dead bodies and from empty stores.

So, ofc I have to torture him, and make him watch this group die as a horde of zombies attack them, and hes just yelling shooting at zombies, not even noticing hes also hitting the group. So, he spends a couple of weeks alone before he misses a jump while running away from zombies and just shoots himself bc he doesn't want to get infected.

Um... I have more, but um... this got long... don't worry, hes gonna get his comfort in Kingdom Craft and with the Hermits. I just... didn't realize this was getting long. And it's been circling my head for too long. Idk if i'm gonna write a full fledge fic, but this... I just want to torture my blorbo, is that too much to ask?

-- bloop anon (i am totally sane and normal)

YEEEEEEESSSSS TCD SCAR TRUAMA ANGST LETS GOOOOOO

I love this bloop.. But YOU CANT END IT WITH SCAR SHOOTS HIMSELF-- BRUH

I'm very much a firm believer in the Jellie plushies being this huge comfort to him and just always talks to it and think in his head she talks back-

[fangirlstorycreator]

Angry drunk Terry pls! Lord he would just be a beast in bed but worth every second. Do you think you could write this with ck Terry being angry about maybe someone who tried to touch his girlfriend. Him getting all worked up and drinking late at night about it until she suddenly wakes up because he's not in bed. This just leads to her finding him in the home dojo, drunk and pissed off about the situation. This leading to some steamy scenario because he wants to lay his claim! If it's too long you don't have to do it. I love your writing btw! Xoxo💚💚💚

Thank you for waiting 😁 and thank you for the compliment about my writing, it means a lot 🙏💚

Contains: sexual intercourse, dirty talk

Terry had been off for the last few days, he was distant ever since you both went to your works party in the office. Your co worker Greg had asked to talk to you privately in his office about organising a works trip for all the other work colleagues, and it was in his office, that was made of glass windows. Obviously you would never look at another man because of how much you love and adore Terry, but that didnt seem to stop the jealousy building in Terry's chest as he saw you and Greg talking privately. He loved you with every fiber in his body, you were his soul mate, and seeing another man talk to you away from him just made his blood boil.

He knows what a wonderful woman you are, and deep down there was a part of him that thought he wasnt good enough for you. You were much younger, beautiful, and could have any man you wanted, which is why he sometimes wondered why you chose him, and much older man. When you finished talking to Greg you told Terry what you spoke about, but that still didnt stop how he felt inside. One night, you started to stir in your sleep, you rolled over to rest your hand on Terry's chest, but your hand met the mattress instead. "Terry?" You asked with a tired whisper, you reach over to your side lamp and see that your the only one in the bed. Where was he? "Terry?"

You ask a little louder this time as you get out of bed and tie Terry's black silk dressing gown around yourself. You walk into your ensuite bathroom, through the upstairs rooms, downstairs, kitchen, living room and the garden, he wasn't hear. Where the hell is he? Your about to reach for your phone on the kitchen table, where you see that the key rack is missing 2 sets of keys, Terry's car and the dojo keys. Why would he go to the dojo? Its 1 in the morning? Something must be wrong, he wouldn't leave you alone like this without a good reason. So you run upstairs and quickly change into one of Terry's shirts and a pair of black leggings, your hair was put up into a messy bun, then you run back down stairs and grab your keys and phone before leaving the house and get into your car.

It was only a short drive to the dojo, but that didnt mean your mind wasnt racing with so many questions. Why was he out this late? Why didnt he tell you? What could be the reason hes out this late? Was it something you did? Did Terry not want to be around you anymore? You pulled up into the dojo car park, and that's where a weight off your chest you didnt know you were feeling was lifted, after seeing Terry's car parked hear too. At least you knew where he was, that was something you had worried about. You walk up to the dojo door and open it slowly, there were only a couple of lights on in the dojo, but when you walk into the main room, you can hear something coming from the back. You walk towards the backroom, and now you can hear what sounds like Terry's voice, he seems to be muttering to himself. You can hear the words "How dare he?" and "What's he planning?"

As you finaly reach the door, you push it open a little and you can see Terry pacing back and forth, but he isn't the same. He is holding a bottle of whiskey, and it's almost empty, is he drunk? Terry doesn't get drunk? His hair is still in a ponytail, but it's very messy, covering his eyes with little wispy locks. "Terry?" His eyes dart to the doorway where you stand. "Sweetheart?! What- what are you doing hear?" "I could ask you the same thing" Terry shakes his head and throws the bottle onto the pile of mats next to him. "Terry what are you doing hear? What's going on?" "Its nothing sweetheart, just go home" this frustrates you now, you just frown and fold your arms. "Terry I'm not going anywhere, you haven't been the same the last few days and then I wake up to find you that you left me alone in our bed?! And your hear getting drunk?! What is going on? Please tell me!...is it something I did?"

"What? No Y/N no, you didnt do anything-" "Then why are you avoiding me? The last few days, you've been so distant. I thought....I thought you didnt find me attractive anymore" "Oh sweetheart no, please don't think that-" "How can I not? You haven't been talking to me, spending time with me, I mean when was the last time we had sex? When was the last time you really kissed me? You say I shouldn't think like that, but when the man I love doesn't treat me the same way anymore, it's all that I can think about" Terry has a tear run down his cheek, he looks utterly hear broken, he steps towards you and falls to his knees. "Y/N, I am so, so sorry. I cant belive I've been making you feel that way, the last thing i want is to make you feel less than the goddess you are. I love you, i worship you, and i always will"

"I thought I did something to make you feel bad, i though i upset you" "No sweetheart, you didnt do anything....its not you...its your... your colleague, Greg" "Greg? I dont understand? What did he do?" He stands back up and starts pacing again, and an angry look is starting to form on his face. "He didn't really do anything...he just...I dont like the way he, IS around you" "The way be IS? Terry what are you talking-" "I dont like him! Alright?! I dont like the way he talks to you, or, you know, takes you into his office for private conversations-" "Oh my god! Are you kidding me?! Is this what this is about? You think Greg likes me?" "How can I not think that? Y/N, your the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on, your perfect. How can I not feel angry or jealous when I see another man taking you away from me?"

"Dont you trust me?" "Sweetheart I trust you with my life, I love you and I know that you would never cheat. I just dont trust the way he was around you!" "Terry! Greg is GAY!" A silence fills the room, you have the anger now, and Terry looks completely confused. "Wh-what?" "Greg is gay Terry! Why do you think he was hanging around Paul at the party so much? Paul is his boyfriend! He's gay! He isnt attracted to me and hasn't tried to flirt with me in anyway!" Terry looks embarrassed, and just hides his face in his hand. But your start to feel upset, sad, and very frustrated. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry i- sweetheart? Are you crying?" "Of course I am Terry, I hate arguing with you and this whole situation is just- I cant-" you turn around and try to leave, but Terry runs after you and stops you before you reach the door, and rests on hand on your arm while the other cups your cheek and wipes your tears away.

"Y/N please dont go, I'm so sorry for arguing with you. I hate that I made you feel this way, but please belive me when I say I do trust you, I do love you and I promise that I will do whatever it takes to show you that. Please sweetheart, what can I do to show you?" All of the feelings you had built up inside you were complicated, there were so many that you didnt know how to feel. The only thing you knew was that you really missed Terry, you hadn't been physical with him for over a week, not even a kiss. You just felt his hand on your cheek and that was enough to make you crave more of his touch. Without saying a word, your lips crash into his in a desperate hunger, you just needed to feel him. He returned the kiss just as much, he had clearly missed you too. One of his arms wraps around your waist, pulling you into his chest, and the other hand cradles the back of your neck as he leans down and deepens the kiss.

He completely supports you in his strong muscular arms as your hands grab at his muscular arms, the intense feelings you are experiencing make you week at the knees. He spins you around and presses you against the wall, still moving his tounge against yours and intensifying the moment. The kiss breaks for just a moment so you can take a breath, and you cant help but look up at Terry with the same sexual frustration in his eyes. "I love you so much sweetheart, I've really missed you-" "Shut up Terry, just take me already!" "Oooh is my goddess in need of a good...hard...fucking?" He asks as his fingers run over your collarbone. "Yes Terry, please just fuck me!" Terry smiles wickedly before he quickly takes both your wrists and pins them above your head, with only one of his hands. The other takes your thigh and lifts it up to wrap around his waist. His lips meet yours again, but this time is more intense, he even bites your lip at one point.

Feeling so wet as he grinds his groin inbetween your legs, your heart races as you need to feel him inside you. His hand lets go of your wrist and he wraps your legs around his waist, and carrys you over to the large pile of mats. Placing you on the mats, the kiss doesn't break as you pull at his collar, ripping it open and showing his braud muscular chest. He absolutely loves this, and he let's out a low growl from his throat. He lifts you up and turns you around, so your standing up and facing away from him, but he presses his body against your back, and you can feel how hard he is in his trousers. One of his hands reaches into the front of your leggings and slowly starts to tease you, and the other moves over your collar bone and moves up to your neck as his large hand and fingers delicately wrap around your throat. "Oh, my sweet goddess, your already so wet for me..." He circles your tender clit, making you shudder at his touch, and his tounge runs over the soft skin of your neck.

So he takes his hand out, and pulls down your leggings, then he presses you down so your bent over onto the mats. He parts your legs slightly before he slides into you with one deep thrust. It makes you gasp at the feel of him, he's so hard and so thick, he felt so good inside you and he hadn't even started thrusting yet. He leans down and whispers in your ear, ever so slightly getting deeper inside you. "I'm going to give you, exactly what you need..." Shootimg back up so he is standing behind you, he starts pounding into you, hard and fast, hitting all the right places, slamming against your G spot over and over again. You cant help but moan, and whimper as he fucks you again and again. "I think my goddess can take a little more..." One of his hands reaches down as starts playing with your clit again, making you whimper even more. It isnt until his other hand reaches down and his fingers run through your hair and makes a fist in your hair, pulling it so he is in complete control of you.

"Oh my god! I cant- I cant take any more! I'm going to cum!" "Oh sweetheart, your going to take all that I give you, because your a good girl" he can feel your body as it's about to release, so he let's go of you, pulls your hips up so you against his back again. And one hand goes back to your clit, going quicker than before, and his other hands wraps around your throat again, giving slight pressure, not stopping you from breathing, but being completely in control. He is still mercilessly fucking you, and before you know it, your entire body is feeling the wave of your orgasm, making your body shake and your screaming out so loud that your worried someone might hear. But Terry doesn't care, hearing you scream is music to his ears, and his orgasm hits him at the same time as you, making him moan out in extacy. The whole experience intensified when you hear him moan, hearing the sounds he makes majorly turns you on too. He is still holding you as you both start to come down, and his lips find your ear as he nibbles at your earlobe. "Oh sweetheart, that was so fucking good. I've missed you so much" Your both breathless as you talk. "I've missed you too Terry, and that was, amazing" "I promise I wont act like that around you again sweetheart, I trust you, and love you with all my heart" "I love you too" "So? Are you ready to go home?" "Maybe......after round two?" He chuckles "Oh, you need a little more, your wish is my command....."

[chickendemon]

The rage of a broken man

[Hello there sorry if the Story here is not something special like the others since this is my first post i will apologize for the bad grammer and spelling in this first story i wanted to show yall enjoy]

Drip...."that was the Sound of the blood the once so living and happy penny...the Sound of blood...dripping from the sword of the knight who was forced to....kill one of his friends"....drip.....drip.....drip...."jaune was not saying anything....he didnt Show any emotions....no....only tears from the knight...as he could not get a hold of himself he felled to his knees as the tears he spilled did not stopped...from the the so called young knight said"

Jaune:i.....i killed her.....my friend.....i.....

"the young knight began to shake as his eyes only showed despair sadness....and disbelief".....i was to weak.....to weak to save her....to save them....."the words of the young knight stopped the fallen maiden to kill weiss and slowly looked towards towards jaune seeing what he has done......"

Cinder:You....HHHAAAGH "cinder activated her maiden powers and rushed towards jaune....only to suddenly stop as her insticts and her grimm arm were going of charts...why...well because jaune was still kneeling there....until.... he slowly got up...as he let go of the bloodied cocora moeres from his hands...and was looking at the ground as...black red aura lines were coming of him...the were like little strings...floating of him to the air"

Jaune:..i do not care anymore.....

"jaune said to himself...as cinder could see the once weakest Student in beacon academy....his blue eyes who were once so full of life justice and determination....were gone....to the ashes as he himself...was still cryng..as nothing could been seen from his blue eyes..just an empty void...no sadness....no anger....and no despair...just....nothing........and then...suddenly the Black red little aura he was emiting was overwhelming him....the white yellow aura that showed his pure and good soul he once had.....were replaced by a mix of both dark red and black...he took one step forward as cinder took one step back while the Almighty cinder fall could only feel one thing from this wannabe knight....fear....she felt such a great fear that she was even sweating as jaune took another step...and stopped making cinder confused....as the red black aura that was flowing grealty out of his body was now...getting even worse...and this only made cinder...and even Winter who was about to attack cinder with her maiden powers stopped there tracks from how much pressure they were getting from him.....and then the Evacuation central was shaking as a huge amount of wind was emiting from jaunes aura making the civilians stop there tracks and mostlikly try to not to fall of the bridge from how strong the wind was emiting....as both cinder and winter could only think about one single thing.."

Cinder/winter:(What....What is this is this!)

..he spoke again...yet this time.

Jaune:.....if this is the end.........

"his cold blue eyes suddenly turned into complete black...his eyes where showing nothing but pure blackness one that evel could rival the void itself....as the red black aura only contienued to come out of him as the red part of his aura disapeard and was replaced With his once white aura...only this time it glowed to bright as the Black part of his aura was only getting more disturbing....his body was changing as his armour he wore was demolished from his aura.....his once blonde hair turned all black as it grew and flew on the air...his height getting from 6'1 to 6'9....his entire body could only be described as the one as a monster.....his body getting more muscle then hazel...his face being blank from the aura that was covering his entire body being fully black/white....as"

"he slowy moved to his back getting to his full height....and looking at his hand seeing the monster he becomed"

"..as his eyes manifasted from his faceless face....they were still black...but then went fully white"

jaune:".....So....i use evrything...to kill you..."

"his voice was giving both maidens chill down there spins as cinder realised one terrefyng thing"

Cinder:(H-His power... is now equal to that of the queen!)

"She though to herself as she was trembling from his pressure he was letting out as jaune said one last word that would be burned into cinder memories"

Jaune:

Ç̴̨̱̟̮̤̺̱͈̊̈́̇Ī̵̢̠̿͒̑̃͊̆Ṉ̸̱͝D̵̺̣̙̺͙͕͓͚͕̅͒̽̓É̸̢̜̗̺͒̈́̑̈́̔̀̚͠R̸̡̺̿̓̌̅̃̅͝͝