#i didnt want rant but this keeps bugging me

[hecksupremechips]

Had a very bad day Gotta eat gravel

[smrtnik07]

librarians redesigned!!! by me!!! :)

the designs are free to use, i used this as a character design exercise for myself while recovering from carpal tunnel issues! read more for all the individual designs + me ranting :*

first off roland!! i included an angelica in here, i designed her before him, shes very triangular to me.. maybe a bit more messed up than roland tells us about, he is a biased narrator afterall. anyways i wanted his design to match hers nicely, so hes like a rounded square type of guy... i think projmoon designed him to be Just A Guy intentionally, so i played into it. overall the least interesting design of the bunch imo. its on purpose :)

angela !!! my baby :) an important thing here is her bangs. i dont want her hair to be able to recover from however many years she spent with the hard middle part in lobcorp, i think its cute to incorporate it still. swoopy, fluffy hair for her! and the clothes are just a bit more casual idk the librarian uniforms were kinda boring and stiff to me, as much as it does go with her character.. if u wanna be human u gotta experience the joy of sweatpants or whatever. also i didnt add color but i dont want her to be fully white<3 or fully clear skinned.. give her sunspots on her face. she finally gets to experience sun. :)

guess ill go in order of appearance lol. malkuth! whats the headband for if it doesnt keep anything out of her face!! since shes a bit more active than some of her colleagues, i also gave her a ponytail(its also for the silhouette...) also gave her some chubbier thighs.. also maybe a butler-esque coat, at least to me; i just made it a bit more form fitting than the original. playing into her personality or whatever. shes cute.. remember to take deep breaths!!

yesod!! i want to play into the skin issues a bit more, i still removed his gloves but i gave him a poncho, not just for the square silhouette im trying to build but for more coverage. also emo hair over eyes was funny. also wide flare pants for you, boy. just very square and put together in general

hod! this ones my favorite (i even cared enough to give her a pattern on that skirt!!) it was kinda bugging me how in the artbook i couldnt tell who was writing because hod's, malkuth's, and tiphereth's colors are so similar. so hod is pink now, and malkuth a bit more orange. i kinda went for a romantic poet thing here, dunno how much that worked out, but i think out of everyone you can tell shes the literature girl. gave her pigtails !! theyre cute :> also since i removed the coat decoration off of angela, i gave part of it to hod in the bottom of her coat :). cute and round!

netzach is a very strange man to me.. ellipse shape and loose fitting clothes for u. if i saw him irl i wouldnt approach him. not to say i dont like him as a character, i love him, but i want him to look like a depressed guy who would pick up art as a hobby to distract himself and it works. bro is just surviving out there. also gave him comfy clothes to make the surviving easier, down to the shoes and wide, id assume non-denim pants - maybe cotton? maybe sweatpants that dont fit around the ankle? who knows.

tiphereth!! since she's like the teen girl of the group i gave her a skater dress, converse, and a tied coat around her waist.. like how i used to wear as a teen when i was being a hater and recovering from a death in the family that changed my entire life (im still a teen ... 9 more days till im 20 as of posting this). also gave her fishnets i think she would like that. i imagine she would get headaches bc of those dumb braids on her head<3 or maybe bc her coworkers are kinda dumb<3

gebura :) round face, reverse triangle shaped body.. like a true butch lesbian stereotype.. i decided a leather jacket, docs and pants i see metalheads wear would fit her! red leather jacket, of course. also gave her spiky hair just like projmoon did<3 my favorite detail here are the eyebrows, i think their shape is rlly neat! nvm i think its just that gebura is rlly neat. anyways the eyebrows fit her

chesed my boy.. idk i just saw him and hit him with the transmasc beam and gave him , as the kids say, wh0re eyes. i wanted him to have rounder hips and just be round in general. turtleneck and cardigan combo also, i think he would like wearing that. also somewhat curlier hair, or at least wavy would do him well! and a tote bag, i dont doubt that he would go out to read in coffee shops if he could - so he gets a tote bag to carry his sociology books. i want him to look like he would give the warmest, comfiest hugs and be friend shaped

binah!! this one was the most challenging, trying to find the right place for the colors - to not use too little or too much yellow. i still dont think i got it right but this is as close as im getting. long face, long nose, siren-ish eyes.. messed up in the head bird lady that speaks like hannibal! i also dont think a dress really suits her so i opted for wide pants and a fancy black button up .. maybe angela styled her, who knows. also black fingertips which is a trait i like to give the arbiters (including an oc).. just my own little consistency thing i like to do :)

hi grandpa! ok for hokma i dont think the changes are that big? i gave him O shaped legs and his sword thing i turned into a walking cane, gave him a vest (didnt want to opt for a corset but i think he would enjoy the back support for proper posture) . also gave him a mild gradient from darker gray to lighter gray, since he IS the gray part of the ABC trio. gave him salt and pepper hair and an older face. forgot to draw it, but i wanted to give him a silicone tip for the sword so it doesnt dull out, which he can take off when recieving guests

honorary mention to go along with the angelica i mentioned with roland, i mildly changed up her twin(k) brother. i gave argalia and angie the same hair but mirrored, his a bit more curly and hers a bit more spikey, his face a bit more edgy, hers a bit rounder and kinder. not much else to say here, i liked his design as is, but wanted to add him here :)

[lexaknoxville]

party lover boy - Chris Pontius

“𝘄𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗲, 𝘆𝗼, 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲” - 𝗜 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗱𝗶𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗥𝗲𝗱 𝗛𝗼�� 𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗶 𝗣𝗲𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀

pairing(s) | Chris Pontius x reader

summary | just some headcanons of being Party Boys gf 😚

warnings | kissing, blood, the usual jackass stuff

REQUESTS OPEN!!! MASTERLIST!!

—————————————————————————————

• this could be me being delusional but, i think he’s actually a really gentle man

• well you know how he is normally, but i see him being an absolute sweetie to you

• plays with your hair 😫 i can see him running his fingers through it, helping with a curl routine if you have one, and he LOVES if you get it done all nice and pretty (definitely a sucker for braids)

• will randomly show up to your house as bunny the lifeguard, just to get a laugh out of you

• IMAGINE TRAVELING WITH HIM FOR WILDBOYZ!!!

• def the type to throw bugs and random shit at you, then feel bad if he actually upsets you (it’s best to act upset, if not he’ll keep doing it 😟)

• secretly a sucker for the cheesy shit like sharing a milkshake, matching bracelets, etc

• jokingly he’s not joking flirting with steve-o just to mess with you

“y/n you’re great and all but, me and steve-o have a special connection” - chris with that goofy ass smile on his face

• will see a pretty flower while he’s out wondering around and brings it back to you

“ i saw it and thought you would like it, here you go!”

• he’s so cute omg

• BEGS you to get your nipples pierced with him, i can see it now omg

“babe we should totally get matching nipple rings”

• will pull some random fun fact out of his ass, and then be shocked when you didn’t know

“chris, honey, what are you talking about…”

“YOU DIDNT KNOW?”

15 minute rant follows

• randomly pops into your room with your bra and underwear on

(constantly scolding him for breaking the clasps on your bras, so he buys you new ones)

• a REALLY GOOD KISSER

• i feel like he’s a gentle, slow kisser, really likes to take his time with it

unless he’s drunk, then it’s sloppy and fast

• comes home bloody and you have to clean him up, yall are STOCKED UP on first aid stuff

• calls you nicknames like baby, babe, angel, and the random shit like monkeybutt, and pumpkin 😭

• loves pop music, don’t play with me

• i KNOW he blasts Britney Spears in the car if you want him too 🤷‍♀️ i don’t make the rules sorry

UGHH THIS IS ALL I HAVE RN, BUT I KNOW MORE WILL COME TO ME SO BE READY FOR MORE OF THESE 🙏

CHRIS PONTIUS MY KING

for @tonymarias 🫡

[withgreatpowercomesmyfuckingdick]

brief rant on me hating online school scroll if uninterested

i just. fucking hate online college.

im going to start with omfg these people don’t give two shits about their students which nah fucking duh. this is a technical college putting courses online to cut corners and do more courses with less teachers because they’re BROKE. it isn’t ideal and i am completely self taught. let me repeat that. i am COMPLETELY self taught.

i am also working at a tax office. during fucking tax season. my teachers are pretty much completely unsympathetic.

and sometimes im like well maybe im lazy, maybe im not doing enough, and then i have to remind myself: I’m fuckin ADHD. I’m severely under medicated, as in my meds don’t do shit anymore and I currently can’t access new ones. I TRIED to get on disability, because schools CAN get you accommodations for ADHD, and the lady in charge of the office ignored me. I emailed her several times, got the read receipts, and she ignored me. She doesn’t even have an office on campus, so I can’t ask to speak to her.

and it’s not like im dumb or can’t keep up in learning. i know my shit. i ALWAYS know my shit. i just don’t do well with conventional assignments and i don’t do well with the online schooling system because i have no way to separate my personal and school life. assignments just rack up in front of me and im procrastinating on them right fucking now because it intimidates me when its like that, even when i know if I don’t complete these my grade will get worse. i’ve hit a point where the urgency makes me shut down instead of going into overdrive because there’s too much shit going on at once for me to stress myself out, even though i SHOULD be stressing

I’m doing my best. I am, but the odds are stacked against me and my teachers are no help. I feel whiny and bratty saying that because it’s fucking college, ofc teachers don’t give a fuck, but I don’t understand how these people don’t even teach me and can’t find it in themselves to give me some leeway on an assignment I’m turning in late or didn’t even know existed, or straight up giving me a ZERO over an assignment I broke my BACK over because the annotations weren’t the specific format she wanted. im fucking exhausted and so so sick of watching the grades decline because I can’t keep up, and no matter how I try to explain, they’re giving me the polite, roundabout version of “skill issue, tough break, get good” and fucking moving on. i know im a drop of water in the bucket and this means absolutely nothing but its so FRUSTRATING and i’ve got parents breathing down my neck that hate to see C’s, and C’s might be the best I can give them at this point.

i want to just quit at this point honestly, but i wont, because i didnt get to this point just to fucking quit. im going to aim for B’s out of spite, and I’m going to bug the shit out of my teachers, and I’m going to ace my fucking finals just like I did last semester so i can walk out throwing birds over my shoulder.

thanks for coming to my tedtalk or wtv

[mynameisnotsoda]

Lore dumping my fnaf au

I just remembered that I inserted myself and my best friend into the au for funsies (you'll notice I do that a lot. This is how cringe I am)

In my first draft I went on a rant abt how much I hated Wilbur's face but after going back to fix it I just needed to add his glasses LMAO. Initially I forgot about the face paint until I stared at my ref LMAO it's supposed to look faded and I think I did a pretty damn good job

Other than that the rest is fine. Erm. I didn't think I'd yap so much about that the actual lore is below the cut lawl

This is Maya!!!! (she/they) she's the mechanic in the pizzaplex, is addicted to caffeine, and is my bestest friend !!!!!! In the au we live together and also work at the same place that's so funny ‼️‼️

They usually work the night shift but if there needs to be emergency repairs during the day they're always on call for that. Nights usually consist of checkups and clean up of the animatronics and androids (will get into that later).

Clearly, I have a favorite, so he's also my favorite in the au itself LMAO cSoda works in the daycare but often leaves to bother the animatronics ☝️☝️‼️‼️

the daycare has an art station so that's where they work, they also help clean up and watch over the kids with the daycare androids !!! Who are *drumroll* Mumbo and Grian !!!!

(I forgot the makeup in this doodle,, and apparently the white stripe on the red part of the dress uggghh) the daycare androids are supposed to be more human looking to not scare the little kids, but cartoony (and tall) enough to differentiate from the human coworker. I like to imagine their faces are rly simple bc they're LED screens with projected expressions to make emotions n stuff. Plus I wanted to keep their faces similar to their skins with an in universe reason for it pfsjshgdhdh

Tumblr keeps bugging out every time I wanna post and it's DRIVING ME INSANE !!!! half this post got deleted and I'm SO MAD ABOUT IT but anyway here's the refs I made like 2 years ago. Their designs haven't changed since I made them so I probably won't remake them unless I start hating my old art enough LMAO

The canon heights I never wrote down so here they are: Ranboo 8'0, Wilbur 7'2, Maya 5'4, I'm 5'7, Grian 7'0, Mumbo 8'0, James 7'0, Tommy 6'6, Jimmy 5'5 and Schlatt wasnt in the AU at the time but he's 6'4

I didnt really make this au for anything except silly scenarios and because making the designs were fun pFF ALSO I FORGOT TO MENTION Sneeg is dj music man !!!! I never got around to drawing him before since I just figured out recently I wanted him to be dj music man so yeah !!

I know this isn't that much of a lore dump but I think I got all my thoughts out for now lawl everything will be under the animatronicfication au tag :v

I have GOT to draw Wilbur the way I used to. The biblically accurate animatronic eyes do NOT look good in my art style 😭😭 also I just noticed I basically painted the same thing into my sketchbook wtf I completely forgot about this doodle until I found it after digging for au art 🤯🤯

[blue-cypress]

Time to post about my fave vanilla romdram ahahah

Okay so like this season was really nice overall just like wonderfully made a produced it didn't feel rushed (except the random ass FOUR MONTH time skip at the end)

Mel's pregnancy arc came to a sad end that I didn't expect, but in hindsight I probably should have. There were some times where they would say things about the pregnancy and I would go 'the fuck I thought you were only telling your boss his wife and your sister about this, why are you telling this to these random extras we'll never see again??' Brie and Brady made me sad especially cause of the reason she broke up with him. Mike literally had the same secrets as him and she's still choosing to date him, which bugs the shit out of me. Also I still don't trust Mike, I get off vibes from him. Preacher is the man Bo Burnham was talking about in lower your expectations cause this man is everything. He's thoughtful strong attractive will hide a body for you can cook!! And he's dating a woman who lied about her relationship status and wanted to keep things casual even though she didn't say that at the beginning of their relationship. Also her ex is really possessive of her and she keeps telling Preacher "oh its fine, he's harmless" and then two seconds later the ex is like " she's always gonna choose her job over you, and guess what, I'm part of that job". Lizzie and Denny. God they're cute and all but he's in love with her and she loves him. Like they said that to each other with Lizzie specifically saying "love" rather than "in love". Also Dennys grandma was a biiiiiitch. Hated her. "I was doing it cause I loved you!" 'It' being lying about being in love with someone else cause I know you don't want a baby so I'm not gonna tell you I'm having a baby and never speak to you for 50 (30? I don't fucking know man) years. And then telling denny she wanted him to go back to college even though he wants to live the rest of his healthy life with someone he loves?? Bitch behavior. Going back to Mike quickly, whenever brie and Brady had a fight or argument, he would just swoop in and flirt with her, even though he knew she was dating brady, huge red flag to me. Him getting shot did nothing for me, it just gave Brady more trauma. And the fire, it got the BnB, lily's farm, Muriels house, but god forbid the bar burns down. Speaking of the fire, nick was a terrible mayor and jo Ellen shouldn't have told her husband about hopes fender bender. Hope may not be in tip top shape, but she was delegating better than nick could have dreamed. One thing i didnt really like, however, was Mel and Jack planning to buy the land of lily's farm and rebuilding said farm. Like I don't know why but it feels weird to me. I'm not even gonna touch on Cameron or Charmaine cause I am not ready to type out my rants on these two. All in all, amazing how in 5 months half of Virgin River burned down- paiges abusive husband held her hostage, died, got buried on the side of the road that's coming back to bite preacher in the ass- abusive husband's BROTHER came to Virgin river, held Paige hotage, got arrested- Jack got shot by the brother- brie came to town and had a miscarriage- Lilly (a forty ish year old woman) gave birth then died of breast cancer- Hope got into a car accident so bad she was missing for almost an entire season- Mel got pregnant and then also had a miscarriage- Tara's sister Ava came to town and revealed she had mentioned-once-disease-that-i-cant-rememeber-the-name-of AND that she is one of now two lesbians in the show- Charmaine got dumped, pregnant, engaged, was forced to give away her dog, had a high risk/high maintenance pregnacy, then BAM we barely ever saw her or heard about her pregnancy for the entire latest season also Calvin is her baby daddy?? You know what I'm just gonna stop- Jack's cabin was set on fire- hope and doc went from on the verge of divorce to happily married and probably some other things I missed.

Also the only gay people in this are Ava, Hannah (who I'm pretty sure didn't have a name until season 2), and two extras named Johnny and Adrian.

[stewpid-soup]

I JUST WENT TO A REGINA SPEKTOR CONCERT LIKE-

I’ve listened to her before, minimally, but i feel like i was always doing something else without paying full attention. I enjoyed the beat of her music because it made my brain feel good. The words are good, obviously, but I don’t think I really listened.

Seeing her live? Holy shit. I’ve never felt so entranced by something. Like normally when I enjoy something I’m stimming a lot and super excited. Sure, I’ve been exhausted recently and in a lot of pain bc of my fibromyalgia. BUT, normally things I enjoy tend to take my mind off of things to the point where it feels like I have adrenaline distracting me from my actual tiredness.

Today, however, speaking was hard because I wanted to catch every second of the song. I was excited for the show, but I was worried since I didn’t know a lot of her music. It didn’t even matter if I knew the song, I was swaying and tapping along to the piano. I brought sound proof headphones to help with the crowd and lower the volume with the actual music but damn- I still heard every beautiful line. Her laugh was gorgeous and goofy but it made me feel like she was talking to me. She was so sweet and just had such a comforting aura.

Fuck man, I could keep going about every detail sbout the concert. And I don’t mean any of this in a creepy stalker way, just she’s such an amazing human being. I may not know her for the person behind the curtains, but she just seems so sweet and kind. Ffs, she went on a ramble about how she didn’t wanna kill a bug that landed on the piano. She sang a song in dedication for Ukraine and all their hardships and the hope for a peaceful resolution. Part of the money that her merch makes is going to a good charity (as far as i know) that supports Ukrainians one on one. It’s called like Ukraine-something-Jane? I don’t remember, but fuck. I’ve never felt so seen and appreciated by a stranger before, especially a popular artist I enjoy.

All in all, 10/10 experience. Especially for a first concert!! Definitely gonna listen to like- all of her music a billion times over to relive this.

(A little bummed I didn’t get to hear Two Birds but u win some u lose some /lh)

Small rant timeee (disability access, assholes, just frustrations)

so me, my mum, and my dad weren’t told that seats with wheelchair accessibility meant only ONE other person could be with you. it was so frustrating, and i didnt think i was gonna wanna cry within the first few minutes of my first concert. my dad had to stand in the like sections between seating that would get cleared occasionally for like 20-30 minutes before a lady told him he could sit with us until intermission was over. so he did, but them the concert started and no one told him to leave nor did anyone else who was going to take up the TWO empty seats beside us come. The dude talking to us was like “im sorry i cant let anyone else, only one person” and my mum was literally telling him “we had no idea, no one told me when i called in to ask abt accessibility seating” and just GGSSKHCHMXGNSJFDUR

anyways eating dinner <3

[tera-91]

A month of rambles ...

I tried to stick to writing and posting. It didnt really work well ... I felt like all I was doing was complaining. So this is basically me going on a rambling complaint rant over the past 3 weeks to a month.

Well classes have started. I ended up changing my class day due to issues with work. Part of me cant believe I did that just to make it easier for the manager that is really getting on my nerves.

Then again I just took the easy way out. It really isn’t worth the headache. I’m having some issues so I want to get rid of any stressors that I possibly can. I’m trying to be good and getting any course work I can done early. That way I don’t end up for whatever reason working the close shift and come home to freak out that I have an assignment due in very few hours with not enough energy or will power to do it. This is hard for me to do as I am an extreme procrastinator. Barely a week into classes and I almost missed a due date because I nearly over looked it in my planner. Then while I was doing it I kept stopping to work on something else that was bugging me.

Ive come to the conclusion that I need to get better at time management. Not sure how im going to do that though.

Well it didn’t take long for me to fall behind. I think part of it is because I don’t like the way the course is laid out. Its silly how things are locked until something else is done. Oh well, I have a few days off in a row coming up so I will just get back on track then.

I just have soo much to do. The things that I absolutely need to do are such a slog to get through. There are some things that I need to do but I know that I need to tackle other things more urgently, these are a breeze to get through. I almost want to just hurry up and knock them out so that way those don’t become a slog at a later time.

I know its just September but Im half freaking out about October. I have quite a bit of things that I want to have done for October to post and I have literally none of it done. Its like im a walking contradiction, there are days where I feel like I get so much stuff done. I literally get so much stuff done, like I write it down because I feel like if I can see what I actually get done it helps me feel/see I really do get stuff done and its not like I just sit and do nothing all day.

But then I sit down and think about all the stuff that I want to get done. I write a list of all the things I want to get done and it legit looks like a scroll from a cartoon where they open it and it rolls out of the room. Its hard to feel like I get anything done with a list like that, which just keeps growing as I get ideas nearly every day or I see something that needs to be done.

I made a list of all the stuff that I know needs to be done. I don’t know if that really helped. Or just made things more overwhelming.

My sibling said something to the affect of make a comparison and do the thing that is quicker and/or is the most rewarding. So I kind of started doing that. When I don’t have to immediately do something I pick two things. Then I write down 3 things about it, like the amount of time that I think ( which Im a very bad judge of time so its mostly me writing down which one will take the most/least amount of time.), which one will be the most rewarding, and which one would take the most steps to do.

Additionally, I try to write down 6 or less items that I absolutely have to do that day. Anything else that I get done would be great.

This is going to sound weird and I don’t know if it will make any sense. I feel like im a ball of yarn but several different strings are being pulled to try to unravel it.

I need a job but when I work with specific people I get pissed off.

I don’t want to be there.

One stays at one station all day long. It happens to be where I want to be. I don’t really have to deal with people there. Not just that I cant trust that something will get done as quickly as it needs to be done and then I have to deal with people that more than likely wont be happy that it’s not done.

Then the other person I don’t want to work with tells those people a lie. Mostly undermining me when I tell them the truth about how much time it will take.

Yesterday at work I felt like I was being interrogated. Kept asking me specific questions about something not work related. Like they were trying to catch me in something. Not necessarily a lie, but like fishing to see if I would say the wrong answer to get my in trouble somehow.

I also took up extra shifts and I didn’t think it was this persons business so I didn’t say anything. But someone said something. So they knew. Asked be about it later.

I feel like this is what happened with the interrogating questions. I said something to I know 2 others I work with. Someone must have said something. It makes me not want to talk at work. But I also feel awkward when there’s no conversation.

Its affecting me and I know it. It affects the way I speak to people while I’m there. But part of me doesn’t exactly care as bad as that sounds. And sometimes it affects me at home too.

I get frustrated that I cant get what I WANT done. I know there are things that NEED to get done. But sometimes I disagree with the order these things are to be done. Sometimes too if it’s a large project I just want to do some of this and some of that.

I also am behind on A LOT of things. September snuck up on me. Now September is almost over. October will be here like nothing.

I don’t have any videos ready to post. I don’t have any of my stories ready to post. I havnt spent any time on my book that I want ready in just over 6 months. I havnt gotten any of the home projects done, or even started for that matter.

All I have is a BUNCH of audio I have to scrub. Once ive scrubbed it then I have to match it to the recording. I have to scrub that to make sure the audio is in sync with the video. Then im able to upload it. I have HOURS probably at least 20 hours of audio to scrub. And that is just the original videos not including the smaller videos I make out of all that. I have probably a good 40 videos that can be made. Not to mention the amount that I have left to record. One set I think I may have 5 hours left to record. I could be wrong it could be more. Then the other set I have a good 8 to 10 hours minimum left to record. But I cant get all of that done until I get a SSD or something to transfer what ive completed so far to make room.

That is just 2 projects I have going. I want to do something else too but that takes time to research, write, edit, record, edit more, etc.

Im just completely overwhelmed.

[writers-ex]

Istg i am so tense today 💀

So yesterday was Friday. Its Saturday morning here rn, btw. And some of my friends werent coming to college due to personal reasons. Now because everyone is usually busy in their work, no one has time to send the notes from the classes, so they told everyone to take the day off. Our Fridays are shorter days btw.

Being the head girl of the college, i tried to stop them cuz it might get us in trouble. But they didnt listen, so everyone was taking the day off. So i also thought that there is no reason to go to the college cuz no ones coming. So no one came, as planned.

EXCEPT ONE GIRL. She advertised the plan of not coming to college to everyone on our insta group, and then she just backed out. We thought that it was ok as long as she didnt tell anyone.

BUT THEN WHAT HAPPENED? We get a message from the teachers, saying that the parents have to tell the reason why everyone except that girl came. We panicked a bit but we all had our excuses. We decided not to message the teacher and just tell our excuses on Monday.

And thats where it all came crashing down. We just got a message, like 5 mins before the time i am writing this, that our whole class except that girl will be heavily penalized because we 'lied to our parents about the day being off' and 'breaking the college discipline code'. Btw we never lied to our parents.

Anyways, we found out that THAT GIRL SNITCHED ON US, SENT OUR CHAT'S SCREENSHOTS TO THE PRINCIPAL, AND GOT OUT OF THE PLAN LIKE SHE WAS NEVER INVOLVED. Mind you, if her parenyts had agreed to let her take the day off, she would never have come to school. And she was so unapologetic too. Like i get that we werent all innocent, but snitching and throwing everyone under the bus is so wrong 😭😭😭

I never liked that girl tbh. She fails her classes, she is not good at any extra curriculars, she is a wannabe teachers pet. And she visits the washroom 10 times a day idk why. Thats suspicious, if you ask me.

Im sorry for this long story, but i just wanted to vent out. Please pray for me and my class 😓

-🦔

this girl sounds horrible so i hope your weekend is better, i am glaring at her from my laptop and patting your back as well >:( rude little troll- please keep me posted bc this sounds…i want to know you are ok plz

side rant that happened with a girl in my class that turned out to be a cousin of mine…she so fricking ditzy giggling and making the teacher answer the most randomest questions in class while they give us lecture like bish wait or write it down BUT NO she keeps going and asking about the test and only paying attention to a lecture if its going to be on a test and not the actual INFORMATION WE NEED TO DO THE JOB LIKE BISH LIFE ISN"T ABT A GRADE????? i care abt my grade and study but like i want to perform the actual job correctly so even if the textbook is old i want to understand the idea and actually perform the task up to the standards NOT WEAR MY HEADPHONES AND LEAVE RANDOMLY FOR ABT AN HOUR OF CLASS ONLY TO BUG THE TEACHER ABT DOING THE LECTURE AGAIN BC YOU "LEFT SOMETHING IN UR CAR" why do you have to leave TEN TIMES A DAY TO UR CAR?????????????????? and then she hugs and hangs out with me like nothing happens and smells dirty like idk ur home life but shower or borrow my perfume please TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT dont even get me started on her cheating and she has the nerve to complain abt her grades being one point less when she cheats??????????? i study and earn my grade honestly PISS OFF but i usually just smile and walk away before i punch the wall <3 bro this wednesday i was cleaning instruments during our BUSIET CLINIC EVER so i had to clean everything for eight hours straight with no help and one classmate lost a tiny screw in the sink when i left to grab some water BC I HAVEN"T DRANK WATER IN LIKE FIVE HOURS?????? so im tired, thirsty, and surviving off some milk i drank in the morning bc we don't get breaks for food either and THIS GIRL HAS THE NERVE TO LAUGH AND HUG ME SAYING THAT SHE WANTS ME TO CLEAN HER ROOM BC SHE NEEDS TO GET SMT IN HER CAR WHILE IM PANCIKING ABT LOOSING THIS SCREW THATS EXPENSIVE AND INSTRUMENTS ARE PILING (and god im so mad rn) and its all a blur after that bc i think i cried or blacked out and kept cleaning ignoring her :') i hate my life bc she thinks we're buddies and i want to slap her

whew rant over….so sorry to sound so violent this girl gets me mad and did also b4 we left class yesterday (it was friday for me) GAH

[autocann1bal]

part eight of my playlist analysis!!

part 1 <;- part 2 <- part 3 <- part 4 <- part 5 &lt;- part 6 <- part 7 <- SOUPPP

be nice to me - the front bottoms 'i try to write you poems, but the words they dont make sense' TELL ME LOCKWOOD DIDNT TRY TO WRITE LUCY POETRY BC HE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE ROMANTIC THEN THREW IT OUT BC HE THOUGH IT WAS BAD. TRY TO TELL ME. TRY I DARE YOU. (it was actually really really good hes just incredibly hard on himself.)

absolutely smitten - dodie hehehehehe fluffy fluff softest fluff toothrotting fluff ow ow ow

my body's made of crushed little stars - mitski you cannot tell me this isnt on lucys breakdown playlist.

i hear a symphony - cody fry lockwood sings it to lucy methinks.

i was an island - john-allison weiss GRRRRRRRRG IK YOU THINK IM GONNA SAY ITS LOCKWOOD BUT ABSOLUTELY YOU ARE RIGHT HAHAHAH. 'but i lowered my sword when you held me and swore youd stay, stay, stay' LOCKWOOD.  kill the director - the wombats this playlist is so lockwood-centric can you tell. hes never really felt anything like what hes felt for lucy before and hes just ??????>@!? and confused and is probably ranting to george about it or something and george is just laughing eating crackers or smth like "haha stupid loverboy." ykwim? - yot club lucy, laying awake in her attic room, wondering how the hell she got here and why shes staying. shes ruined the dynamic they had, hasnt she? shes the only girl in the house she does everything differently. she should leave. (she should Not). arsonists lullaby - hozier surprisingly, this is a lucy song!! its what she felt like having such a strong talent in such a small town and feeling like itd get to her one day. a burning hill - mitski another lucy breakdown song. she likes mitski. its kinda funny tho cuz yk. lockwood and his white button-downs. wet cigarettes - strawberry milk cult lockwood and lucy are avoiding eachother yet again, because theyre. them. but they keep passing eachother in the kitchen and other places in the house, stealing glances and all that. this song just has that vibe. sober haha jk unless - hospital bracelet l. lockwood song :(. affection - scruffpuppie feels like a lucy song and i cant explain why it just does. april to death - flower face god i literally cannot explain it for them specifically but this song goes in every character playlist i make. im so emotionally attached to it. breezeblocks - alt-j ok ik this is. a little bit of a weird one. but i dont care!! i love it!!! i live for slightly insane lockwood and you will too /threat (/j) bug bear - chloe moriondo despite lucy being so powerful talent wise, she never did great in school. stolen dance - milky chance DO I EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAAAAAAAAAIN its so soft dancing at night vibes dude. i love it sm. theyre just swaying together in the kitchen. alternatively, case montage of them by eachothers side pick your poison. black sheep - the evil exes (there are a million versions of this song gimme a break) just. mmm luce vibes dont ask why i will not be able to answer. can you feel my heart - bring me the horizon yall remember that one edit from 2020 where average looking anime boy #44658 jumped out a building? lockwood wants that. (its ok me too lockwood) (no but fr this is another weird emotional attachment song but it could probably work for some sort of lockwood breakdown. wait actually it could cuz 'im scared to get close/i hate being alone' ok i understand now thank you brain.) daddy issues - the neighborhood I believe ive briefly discussed my lockwood with daddy issues hc. do i rememebr his canon relationship with his dad? no!! am i projecting?? yes!! i cant handle change - roar self explanatory. hes not good at change, shes not good at change, they both suck at it but theyre working through it together. ill sleep when im dead - set it off lockwood insomniac agenda (its not even an agenda its canon atp) achilles come down - gang of youths you guys dont want me to go in depth with this one. strawberry mentos - leanna firestone hehehdfbjngbfdg fluffy fluffy fluff fluffle so fluffy so sweet so cute so owie i love them. fool - cavetown eepy reading vibes in the library mixed with a teeeeny tiny bit of crying on lucys part. why shes crying is up for interpretation. beorge gush - strawberry milk cult this ones for the l&co ot3 mfs. its all of them. odnt ask why it just is. them vibes christ we're so close to being done PART 9 HERE WE GOO

[theannoyingmosquitoinyourroom]

im not a reddit refugee, but ill be damned if ill pass up a tag game and the opportunity to rant about smth :)

1. Name? Jason (or Jace for short) (idk take your pick ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

2. Pronouns and gender? he/they; i often use trans to refer to myself but im thinking of shaking things up a bit

3. Sexuality? idk gay ig

4. Country? Somewhere in the faraway land of Europe

5. Top 5 fandoms? rn im really into star trek, malevolent, Gaining Information On Whatever Topic, Supernatual (ive still got to finish it), old books (as in books that were printed/ written a long time ago and were kept through decades n shit and now ive somehow got access to them and that so cool) — also i feel like im forgetting something Big but i cant put my finger on it so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

6. What is your Most forbidden snack? smoked trout w honey

7. Would you pet a bug? UH YES WHEN WOULD I NOT PET A BUG???????

8. Share a weird fact/ story about yourself with the class. okay so this one time we (me and my family) were over at my grandparents for easter and when we arrived my grandma was preparing this lamb for cooking. now i need you to get me straight. it was a LAMB. a WHOLEASS SKINNED LAMB. (literally everyone was like “who is going to eat that much meat” and my grandmother was like “:0 dunno. people”) and she was taking out the head and my brain thought: “omg theres a lamb skull underneath all that meat” and THAT led to me asking my grandma “can i keep the skull” to which my grandma paused and had to ask me twice if i wanted the skull cuz she wouldnt have thought in 15363892 years id be wanting to keep that. and thats how i spent two days skinning and cleaning the skull i have on my shelf now :) (this is also the first time i tasted lamb brain and eyes)

9. What does the colour blue taste like? deep. square. its got lots of flavour. but not the pale/pastel blues

10. What is the most beutiful thing you’ve ever seen? this one time i was cycling on a hill and i looked at the view and it was so fucking beautiful and peaceful and pretty and i had to stop because in that moment i genuinely couldnt believe i lived there. i couldnt believe i was that close to this view, that i could go touch it if i wanted to. just 15 minutes away and i couldve swam in that shining lake, in 30 minutes and a hike i could be on those mountains. it was sunny and there were few clouds and i was on a thin path in the side of this hill, the grass was long and uncut, and there was a green tree on the right side, a house on the left, quite a bit away, but it was the serenity and quietude of the moment that made me realize where i was, if ykwim

11. What is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done? this is not a moment in particular, but just in general, i sometimes Dont Get what people want from me. for example, this one time i was a bit late handing in this form to a teacher, so i went up to him, handed it to him, apologized and told him why i was late, etc etc. but right before i left, he was looking at me expectantly and asked me: “so what do we say now?” and i was like. what. because i genuinely did not know what he wanted from me. so i spent a good couple of seconds sating back at him and going over our conversation again and what his question might refer to. i was certain i had apologized, so i figured out he mustve wanted me to explain why i was late. maybe he hadnt understood/heard the first time, yk? so i explained again and he was perplexed and my friend was looking at me like “whatthefuck?”. i knew i hadnt said what i was supposed to but i didnt know what else to say??????? so my friend leaned in and whispered that i needed to apologize, to which i was like “OHHHHHH” and i apologized and left but that conversation is still confusing me to this day.

12. Stupidest thing you’ve seen/heard someone do/say? *forgets every memory of other people i’ve ever had* oh i watched a flat earth debate once. i think that sums up this answer nicely

13. Hyperfixation song? ooh so lately ive been listening to a lot more will wood songs. but rn ive got a made-up remix of “Tomcat Disposables” and “Memento Mori: The most important thing in the world” (both by will wood) playing in my head

14. Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/ or username? i was making an account on tumblr and there was this annoying mosquito in my room that kept buzzing (as mosquitoes do) and i was like: “what if I was the annoying mosquito?” and then for the pfp i googled “mosquito memes” and thought this one was hilarious

15. Dream career as a child? writer

16. Dream career as an adult? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ smth to do with maths and physics but i dont know exactly what

17. Thoughts on cilantro? i prefer parsley but cilantros nice

18. Have you ever been banned from location and if so, why? no i havent been banned from anywhere (yet)

19. What is your cursed food combination? not THAT cursed, also not cursed in a bad way, but: hard polenta (meaning that after it cools you can cut it in slices) with jam

20. Trans rights? |||||||||| ||||||||||

i sadly dont know of any other people that come from r/196 so if youre from r/196 and want to introduce yourself: go right ahead :)) id love to hear from yall

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Frankie

Pronouns and gender? he/they/it, transmasc

Sexuality? Lesbian

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? Bungou Stray Dogs, Cosmere, All for the Game, Fundiesnark (not a series but I'm too deep in it to not consider it a fandom), .....the tornado fandom? (they're my special interest)

What is your Most forbidden snack? The preserved bones at the Atlanta Bodies Exhibition. They looked so crunchy...

Would you pet a bug? If it's big enough, it is pettable.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I like to drive around rural areas and photograph old, sometimes abandoned locations in the dead of night. I have been literally chased out of towns by foot and by car on two separate occasions. The second time this happened, "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus came up on shuffle and that's the soundtrack my friend and I tore out of town to. Also every "guy" I've dated except for my most recent ex (who has big egg energy) is a lesbian now.

What does the color blue taste like? Creme brulee

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The appalachian mountains of Tennessee in the middle of summer. There's kudzu everywhere. On the backroads, there were several old, dilapidated Baptist churches barely hanging to the side of the mountain. I wonder how many of them were still in use.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Short version: my friend's house almost got broken into by this dude who'd been stalking us for months while we were home alone. Instead of calling the cops, we decided to confront him with a bow and arrow (me), a hatchet, and a baseball bat (him). The plan was that if it went badly, we would simply throw his corpse into one of the many lakes in the neighborhood and let the alligators eat his remains (this was Florida). Why? Because we were afraid of having our home-alone privileges revoked. Luckily for us all, the guy fucked off and we never saw him again.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? My ex thought that Jackalopes were real. Also, a nurse I was doing rotations with apparently thought that "Witness Protection" was for Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hyperfixation song? Young Enough + Bleach by Charly Bliss

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? Profile pic; I'm transmasc and I'm currently obsessed with TriStamp. Username; It was my fake internet name when I was like 13. I won't change it because I want my mutuals to recognize me, and because I do have a viral post associated with this name.

Dream career as a child? Doctor (funnily enough I'm now in nursing school)

Dream career as an adult? Professional Jester. Not a comedian. I just want to be some weird little guy who dresses silly and you can hire me to roast your boss at work parties.

Thoughts on cilantro? Delicious

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I honestly can't remember? Probably... but in recent memory I've mainly banned people from places.

What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple on a hotdog with grilled onions. It Slaps.

Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS

Tagging: @rocket-mankoi @mostlymarco @atleast8courics @jazzlike39 @gemsweater72 @limbobilbo @ameliaaltare @redcrane112 @theoneofwhomisblue @twinkenjoyer @theultimatecarp and anyone else who wants to jump on

[franzwantscoffee]

Seeing all this stuff about the Alex Tizon discourse is making me wanna throw up. 

Listen. What they did? It’s slavery. We know. We get it.  But it’s not your slavery, it is a product of the broken system which we have been mired in, one which America has been directly complicit in. It’s an unfortunate case, horrifying, not entirely unexpected, but not exactly the norm. The issue here is that foreigners are trying to put words in our mouth and making this discussion about them instead of letting Filipinos process this and have a proper conversation about it without them shutting us down and screaming BUT SLAVERY!!! APOLOGISTS!!! not only that but they’re deliberately misunderstanding our language and honorifics, they are making things out to be something they’re not.

The system is broken. Any Filipino can tell you that. Yelling at us isn’t going to fix it unless you can somehow fix an entire culture with a press of a button and magically remove 400 years of colonialism and oppression, both by foreigners and fellow Filipinos, which has directly contributed to how desperate and helpless our people have become. It just doesn’t work that way.

But what really pisses me off about this? It’s because we’ve already been silenced before. We have been colonized, mistreated, our culture erased and labeled as inferior, our country gutted for resources and labor and this is still happening, just now its happening on more socially acceptable terms. 

Context and the underlying culture does matter, especially when our culture has already been so abused and erased that we have no idea what kind of culture or history we would have had if it hadn’t been beaten out of us by colonizers for 400 years, even the name of our country, our very identity. To this day we still struggle with our identity as a people, with the colonial mentality and nation-wide inferiority complex instilled in us by colonizers.

Keep in mind that every time you yell at us about how culture doesn’t matter, you’re all slavery apologists, without taking into consideration our views, our culture and the system which contributes to this, and how people are still working to correct it despite the fact that progress will likely not come for another 20? 30? years maybe even longer. Progress is slow when you live in a country where every system is designed against you. We are seeing people from a country which oppressed us, attempting to once again erase our narrative and tell us they know better, perhaps then you can forgive us for being wary of foreigners dismissing our culture and views to propagate their own.

[ihatebnha]

sending from my non-bnha blog but like... can we have some reader catching a attitude and katsuki being a lil bit... like... who the hell are you TALKING to?? i'm walking around mad as hell and I want him to shut me up 🥺🥺

this is almost embarrassing for me to post bc i got this request about 945404359234580 years ago....... but i dug it up again and thought id finish it. i dont really.... feel like bakugo is himself in this and didnt want to write the solution... buttttttttt i put effort into the rest of it so i dont want it to... rot, either.

enjoy :((

(warnings: none i think)

-

Katsuki Bakugo is a lot of things.

He is fierce.

He is determined… in the face of adversity, to right the wrongs of others and to fix what is broken.

And he is strong, carrying the weight of his own little world (and that of Japan’s) on his shoulders, always and forever, wherever he goes… defending it not only for the sake himself, but for others, as well.

Katsuki Bakugo is a lot of things. But he is not a bad boyfriend. In fact, he’s a good one, a great one at that... one who knows what he wants, and when he gets it, is willing to work so he can keep it. Take care of it. Protect it… and over the course of your relationship, all ups and downs included (from spilling coffee on his favorite shirt during your second date to the time he accidentally set your couch on fire while watching an All Might rerun on TV), that is the only thing you’ve known.

Sure, he is not exactly gentle nor smooth and well-sanded around his edges... but he is kind in his own way, like when he asks you about your day after ranting about his own. When he listens to you, silently, attentively… and when he makes you dinner after a long day of work, all for nothing but a few kisses and hugs (ones he doesn’t have to ask for) in return.

And that is how he likes it. He separates his work, his ethic, from his relationship. Treasures you the way he knows his mom treasured his dad... despite her fiery temper (the one thing he got from her) and all of the fights in between.

But that doesn’t matter… because what does is the fact that he loves you.

Loves the way you react when he is sweet (or rather, considerate and gentle… something reserved for when he’s alone with you)… loves when you smile at him, before tucking him into a hug he can’t help but fall into.

And loves when you understand that he can’t be everything at once… because love is balanced perfectly on the scales that are unbearable and overwhelming, the same way it is not meant to be experienced alone.

Katsuki Bakugo is a lot of things. And when he is nice, he expects niceness right back.

-

It has been a long day.

Granted, Bakugo’s days are always long; filled to the brim with packed punches and bloody palms that leave his body aching, and what seems like unending, boring patrols and paperwork while he’s recovering.

But something is different. Maybe it’s just in the air, hot and dry, cracking his lips and steaming up his car on the way home, or the crick in his neck, and the way it’s been bugging him since he woke up to your…

Or maybe, it’s the fact that you have had a long day, too.

He knows the moment he gets home. Your purse laying scattered on the floor, your shoes next to his, uneven by crumpled socks. It’s rare that he gets home to sight of your personal belongings not tucked away safely where they should be, and even more so when you don’t bother to greet him, the house quiet aside from the usual sounds of late summer outside.

He doesn’t ask when he finds you, hunched over your computer as though you want to set the keyboard on fire... but that doesn’t mean he’s not instantly, perceptively aware of the way you regard him, all shrugging and bristles when he leans over your shoulder to press a kiss to your cheek that you do not meet him halfway for.

Even if the boy in him from ten, fifteen years ago tells him to be livid, and to tear your head right off your shoulders for shrugging him off… Bakugo forgives you. Recognizes, instantly, the nature of relationships and the fact that things aren't always going to be nice…

Because that’s what good boyfriends do. And because that’s what you do for him when he’s angry, too.

Despite the annoyance that bubbles in the pit of his stomach (set off by feeling of he cannot place), and the fact that all he wants to do is cook dinner with you, watch a show, and then go to bed (together)… he doesn’t really mind. Not deep down, not where it counts.

And he lets it go.

-

“You hungry?”

Bakugo stands by the door to your shared office, finally able to start peeling off the sweaty layers of his underclothes, ready to settle down into his usual routine of bugging you about what to make for dinner.

“Maybe we could get takeout, spare us from the fu-“ he pauses, biting his tongue, “dishes for once.”

You barely mumble out an acknowledgement, the sound of your hum nothing in comparison to the bass of his own voice, and Bakugo is turning to look at you sideways with quirked brows.

“You want Thai? Noodles?”

“Sure, babe.”

Usually you are receptive to his comments, even on the days when you are busy or tired, often bantering back and forth with him or at least answering in kind… though by now, he has noticed the way you don’t even look at him, your voice falling flat, and uninterested.

“Shitty baby?” he questions, with bated breath… and you snap.

“Bakugo,” his jaw shuts when you slam your hands down on your desk and turn to look at him, his eyes immediately narrowing into slits with only the intensity a hero like him could have. You nearly spit at him, and the words sting. “I’m busy.”

Bakugo knows this, and part of him offended and angry. Hurt, in a way. Not deeply, because again he’s strong and understanding… but he’s your boyfriend, of all people, your baby sweet and love, and for all the effort he puts into offering you kindness, he doesn’t want to be regarded as though he doesn’t care or isn’t trying.

“What’s with the fuckin’ attitude?” he complains harshly (to no one, he realizes too late), still stunned and trying to brush off your hostility.

You glance at him again from over you shoulder, barely moving as you wait for his attention. He gives it, though you hardly notice.

“Shut up.”

You turn back to the computer, and Bakugo’s blood instantly runs cold; all the warmth and love he feels for you in his heart temporarily draining into a storage box as though you are a villain and he is at work.

“What?”

He looks at you, the words rough and heavy on his tongue… and you don’t even seem to acknowledge him, still hunched over the laptop on your desk in as you continue to stare at him and sigh.

“I said,” you say, brows lowered and shoulders tense, your fingers continuing to slam against the keyboard. “Shut the fuck up, Bakugo”

The words don’t register at first. They’re clear as day, true, but they don’t sink in the way that they should, lost to his fight or flight instincts and the fact that for the most part, he trusts you enough not to activate such a thing.

You… being mean to Bakugo? It almost doesn’t compute… where is the person who he is familiar with, the one who smiles when he cannot… and he finds himself getting terse.

Angry.

Stomping to your side, height way above where you sit in the plush deckchair he got for you when you first moved into together, he quickly spins you around to face him… and your jaws fits into Bakugo’s rough hand like a child’s.

His frown deepens the closer he leans into to speak to you. “Wanna say that again for me?”

You let out a puff of air, your own eyes narrowing as you stare at his face and blink.

“Shut,” your lips pop, “the fuck up.”

Bakugo says your name like it hurts. Like there’s a fire in his chest. Like you are someone he loves who just stabbed him… and maybe you did.

“Who’re you fuckin’ talking to like that, baby?”

His voice is icy, stern as though he’s speaking to someone he is interrogating, and Bakugo can feel you swallow underneath his fingertips despite how you refuse to back down.

“You,” the words are slurred from how he squishes your cheeks together,

“Who?” he asks again, teeth grit.

“Bakugo.”

“Who,” and it is no longer a question.

“Katsuki,” you spit. “My boyfriend.”

“That’s right,” he confirms, and he barks out a laugh at your silence, the sneer forming on his lips tight and mocking. “Your boyfriend… and I don’t think thats how boyfriends usually get treated.”

He lets go of your face, turning to leave the room as your body sags back into your desk chair...

“Let me know when you want to start acting like my fucking girlfriend again.”

[heyitsyn]

White Carnation

Ex!Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader

a/n: iwa-chan being your ex is so painful and numbing

huhuhu angst isnt my forte but this is an exception bc chi is my sista

anon request: ex-boyfriend/childhood friend iwaizumi would be super angsty but i have no idea what they’d fight about ,, now imagine if after being kitaichi’s manager/medic, reader becomes karasuno’s medic/temporary manager (until kiyoko got recruited),, then she couldn’t come to the seijoh practice match so she has no idea her team fought her ex,,, only to find out during inter-high and everyone’s like wtf??? that spiky haired ace is your ex?? meanwhile kageyama’s like “yall didn’t know?” — chi

ong this finna be painful

so

its always been the three of you

with living across the oikawas came great perks

even way before you could remember, you were always with the 2 other boys: your neighbor across your house, tooru, and his best friend who practically lived there, hajime

hajime first saw you when you were covered in dirt after you were trying to catch a butterfly for tooru at the back and oikawa pushed you out of the way into a puddle of mud when he saw a bug

iwa stared at you then immediately said ‘my name is iwaijumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’

yep thats really how it went

and poor babie didnt know how to pronounce his ‘z’s yet so it sounds like ‘j’s :(

while tooru liked you because you werent like other girls who stayed inside and played dolls instead playing outside

you played with him at his back yard with the volleyball he owned and always made him laugh and have fun

iwa liked you because you didnt shy away from bugs, instead you were braver than tooru and even helped iwa look for any beetles and caught them for him to keep as pets

they liked you because you were like them

you were like one of the bois

but that kinda hurt you in the future

as you all grew up, you started going through yanno teenager things

like you started to have crushes

specifically on your best friend, iwaizumi hajime

thankfully tooru didnt see you like that and still saw you as one of the bois and saw you as that annoying twin sister

but unfortunately, iwa did too

every time you made an effort to do something to emphasize that you were, hello, a girl, he would laugh and tease you

‘hehe i didnt think you even knew what a dress was!’

was his comment when you came over wearing a yellow sundress with flats

tooru, who you shared these secrets with, gave you a worried glance but you smiled, covering up the hurt

‘meh. my mom forgot to dry my clothes so i had to wear these old clothes’

no, they werent old

they were just bought yesterday with the intention of finally being recognized as girl and complimented

but the person it was for, couldnt even be bothered to remember that you werent just one of the boys and that you possibly wanted to be told that you were pretty or cute

your other best friend noticed your quietness and he stood up from his crouching position and placed a hand on your shoulder, making you look at him

your teary eyes made him sigh but he grinned at you

‘its really pretty, y/n-chan! you should wear it more often! pretty things deserve to be seen and complimented’

god why couldnt you have a crush on oikawa tooru instead

why did it have to be towards the boy who was too caught up with catching bugs and playing ball to ever see you differently and has never said a single praise towards you?

‘what do you think, iwa-chan? isnt she pretty?’

oikawa hinted but hajime remained his eyes on the tv as the players hit the ball, too distracted to even be bothered to look at you

‘she looks the same’

he mumbled and your nose stung and eyes watered, looking down to hide the wobbling of your lips

‘its okay, kawa-chan. can i wear your clothes for now? i dont like this dress thats why i never wore it’

oikawa tried to stop you but you were already straight up the stairs and towards his room

he angrily stomped over to iwa and slapped his arm, startling the other boy and him snarling in pain

‘what the-’

‘youre so dumb. youre so mean. i wonder where she went wrong and what she saw. seriously’

he ranted and moved to sit back on the floor but not before kicking iwaizumi, making him fall on his side

‘OI KUSOKA-’

‘so whos winning?’

your voice interrupted iwa’s mid-scream and he looked up from the floor to see you wearing an alien hoodie and a pair of basketball shorts that were a little too loose so they drooped by your knees

your originally curled and elegantly braided hair was now pulled up into a bun by a scrunchie that you left around the house from years ago

there was a bit of redness around your eyes and iwa scrambled up to check if you were okay since your face looked swollen

‘oi, did you eat something weird? your face is all red so youre probably having a reaction’

he fretted and you watched as his hands glided across your face and held you by the shoulders to take a closer look

‘yea, a reaction from a bad reaction’

thankfully iwa was too busy checking to hear oikawa snarkily whisper and you sent him a glare that made him quiet down

‘haji-kun, im fine’

you dismissed and side stepped to go sit next to oikawa, completely brushing him off

now iwa was confused

you would usually smile up at him, say ‘aw~ are you worried about me, haji-kun?’ then skip over 

not frown and act so coldly

‘oi, y/n, what-’

‘lets go to the bakery! theres a sale going on there!’

oikawa shouted which made you jolt in surprise

he knew of his best friend’s beginning interrogation but he knew you were too upset to be bothered by hajime’s questions

‘they have a buy one get one sale on milk bread! and those-those treats you like! theyre on sale too!’

omg oikawa is a real one 🥺

oikawa blinked harshly at you to go along with the act and you stuttered and nodded

‘uh-eung! yea!’

that was probably the moment that iwaizumi started noticing

except he thought it was a pining between his best friends rather than you towards him

ofc iwa was a loyal friend

he thought that you and oikawa were two people who were crushing on each other yet too afraid to say anything

tbh he shouldve seen this coming because duh you were an incredibly pretty girl and oikawa was the handsomest guy in the whole area!

it was almost,,, natural for you both to gravitate towards each other

maybe thats why,,,

he started to distance himself to give you both the space and want without him in between

maybe thats why,,,

he started to feel these feelings of,, jealousy?? like he started to feel a little scared and honestly he wasnt sure who to be jealous of bc he knew once you started dating, you’d both be too busy to hang out with him

maybe thats why,,,

he was no longer your friend 

iwaizumi hajime became a simple stranger you would just pass by in the hall

it happened around the 2nd year of middle school

you and oikawa were still close friends but you have drifted away into not being as close while you and iwaizumi became,,,, distant

basically strangers

the boy you used to dream about when you were 8 and dreamt of marrying once you were old enough

he was no longer him

before, you and iwa were actually really close without oikawa

like you would hang out when oikawa was too busy with takeru

you both would go to the arcade and play games with no fear of oikawa whining and complaining to take turns

you had a lot of fun together and yet, all of a sudden, everything stopped

because iwa knew how,,, possessive oikawa was

he thought that if he were to continue being friends with you, he would risk losing his best friend out of jealousy or misunderstandings and he didnt want that precious bond to be ruined by a girl

even if that girl,,,

was you

thats why it was so awkward when you came over to oikawa’s house after so long and seeing him there, eating breakfast in the kitchen

your best friend didnt want to tell you that iwa spent the night bc quite frankly, oikawa was already fed up with this

you think he didnt know?

you think he didnt know that iwa distanced himself due to an unknown misunderstanding?

you think he didnt know that you also distanced yourself due to being hurt as he casted you aside?

and oikawa was also worried

he didnt want to ever bring up your name with iwa bc to be honest, he didnt think iwa even liked you all that much

he thought that iwa only tolerated you for so long bc you were the only girl who wasnt in love with oikawa and knew you long enough to be comfortable w you

but babie oiks is misunderstood that :(

he didnt want to ever bring up his name with you bc he knew how sensitive it was for you and how sad and pained you were when he suddenly stopped even replying to your texts

one time when you cornered him, he looked angry and gently pushed you back and quickly walked away 

no he was scared that oikawa could see you both and misunderstand

‘just,,, stay away from me, okay? its better this way’

god you wanted to scream at him and shout at him and punch him but he kept silent and refused to answer your questions and refused to acknowledge your existence

you were so confused and you were just so hurt and eventually, you became indifferent to him and treated him the same way

anyways

you stepped into the house, not even bothering to shout your arrival and quickly wandered through the hallway before turning the corner to go to the kitchen 

but you stopped, seeing the familiar hair with olive eyes eating breakfast on the kitchen island, also stopping with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth at the sight of you

your gazes clashed and you blinked before your lips formed into a thin line, turning and going to the fridge and look for food

iwa wasnt surprised

he figured you were both getting closer to dating and you were already basically living in his house

it all makes sense

BRUH THEYVE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE THEY WERE LTR BORN LIKE BLS THEYRE JUST SIBLINGS

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE

‘h-how are you’

he mumbled, trying to fix the awkward silence while cursing inside of how long oikawa was taking to shit

you hummed, taking a water bottle and slamming the fridge door shut, harder than necessary

‘oh, now you see me?’

you really didnt mean for it to be a snarky comment but it came out before you even realized what you said

he winced

‘listen, im-’

‘oh? youre here, y/n-chan!’

oikawa’s voice cut him off and he returned back to his bowl of rice, leaving you standing there furrowing your brows

you shrugged, already knowing that hajime was like this, so you turned to look at oikawa with a wrinkled nose at the sound of the toilet flushing

‘tooru, did you drink straight milk again? you know how it makes your stomach upset’

you chided and tooru turned red at the implication of his dookie

‘o-oi! y/n-chan! of course id know if i was lactose intolerant!’

i just think how funny it would be like the irony of his love for milk bread yet being lactose intolerant at the same time 

he huffed and you nodded but not exactly believing him

‘kay kay’

you teased and walked to the living room but oikawa caught you in a headlock and he ruffled your hair while you complained and whined to let you go

you were giggling as tooru was giving you noogies, feeling the tension leave your body

all while iwa was watching

maybe it was because he stopped hanging out with you and havent seen you like this for almost  a year

so carefree and so happy as you scored higher than him at the hoop game and he would begrudgingly let you hug him when he managed to win you a doll from the claw machine

but yea he definitely forgot your smile

he forgot how it looked like bc the last time you met gazes, you sent him a hurt glance and looked away and he knew he deserved that

god he hated it

but no, he was doing this for tooru

he was doing this because his best friend liked someone who actually deserved him

but dear god why did it hurt

iwa was starting to wonder if he made the right choice

he could easily handle you two dating

right?

maybe that was when iwa started to realize,,, he was starting to feel different towards you

the time apart definitely made him remember why he was friends with you

you weren’t like those girls he saw in tv or outside with the frilly clothes and the makeup and the fancy hair

no that wasnt you

you were different

you were too lazy to even pick out a cute outfit, opting for comfort with one of their sweatshirts and sweatpants

you preferred to chase after butterflies rather than sitting inside bc hajime’s adventurous spirit latched itself on to you too

you would usually climb the tree to get the volleyball that got stuck up in the branches bc tooru was too scared of heights and you wanted to prove your strength and capability

god you were so different

what if you liked him instead?

iwa startled himself with that thought in the middle of eating and caused him to choke on his rice

tooru noticed him coughing violently so he grabbed the water bottle from your hand and threw it straight towards the boy

iwa snapped the cap open,not caring where that water came from, and chugged it down before sighing in relief after the quite scary situation

you then realized what happened and you turned red, speedwalking into the living room

oiks totally didnt do that on purpose and he was doing the lenny face at you before switching masks and wearing a worried one for iwa

‘iwa-chan! you need to slow down!’

he chided and iwaizumi yelled at him to be quiet, completely clueless to the fact that he just shared an indirect kiss with you

but you did and lordie did you hate it

from then on,,,

iwa was just seeing you everywhere

iwa saw you from his classroom when you would go hang out with your new friends outside 

he noticed you not even being too loud, only speaking up when asked while the others opted to continue talking about nonsense you probably gave no care about with how you secretly rolled your eyes

those moments made him laugh

the next time you both ran into each other was during his morning practice

oikawa phoned you in the morning while you were getting ready, saying he accidentally left his knee pads at home and he was already at school but you werent so he wanted you to bring them to him

you knew damn well that iwaizumi hajime would be there but you didnt care because youre not even friends anymore after he just dropped you like that

YES SISTER WE DESERVE BETTER

so thats why you found yourself pushing the metal gym door open at 6 in the morning and shouting oikawa’s name

his eyes brightened at your voice and he dropped the ball to run towards you by the door

‘oh my god thank you so much, y/n-chan!’

he shouted and hugged you out of excitement while you cringed and hit him to get off of you

‘ew dont touch me trashykawa’

you mumbled and he whined, finally stepping away with a pout

iwa was watching you both from the side and he blinked, wondering if you were trying a new hairstyle

if not, then you changed something bc currently, you practically glowing to him

he watched you scold oikawa for being forgetful and him begging for forgiveness but also thanking you before he was scoldede again by the coach

but the coach was relieved that he could finally play with the proper equipment and not risk anymore injuries

oikawa was already bidding you good bye and you were about to turn to leave when you finally met the many gazes of iwaizumi hajime

your eyebrows unconsciously furrowed together and your lips turned to a frown then you sharply turned and walked through the doors

unbeknownst to him, oikawa watched as his best friend’s face turned hurt at your expression and remained staring at the door you just went out of even when you were already gone

‘iwa-chan, lets get to practice’

after that 

iwa has concluded god has decided to be mean to him

bc who was giving him these weird heart attacks and tummy aches at the simple sight of you?

literally he ignored you for a good time yet now hes noticing you again?

what kinda unfairness-

but you proved to accept his previous behavior by not even giving him a single glance anymore

that made him sad so iwa would sometimes stop doing what hes doing so he could freely stare at you laugh at something a classmate said during class

thats totally not creepy iwa lol

he doesnt even know hes doing it sometimes bc hes so absorbed on trying to figure out the answers of his questions

but the worst was when he got caught

you sat at the very front and oikawa and iwa sat at the back 

it was lunchtime and you were eating with a few girls and a guy from another class and yall were laughing and talking together

iwa had oikawa and these other guys makki and matsukawa from the class next door to eat lunch with

can i please just dream that our third year seijoh boys were actually friends since the very beginning like pls and thanks

oikawa was rambling about how some girl giving him cookies the other day when he noticed iwa not listening but staring at you while moving his chopsticks around

poor iwa-chan was confused as to how even with messy hair, you still looked beautiful?

like no matter what angle or how you turned, the light always seemed to hit you perfectly to accent out your features

how was that possible?

‘-and she just-iwa-chan? iwaizumi?’

he called out and said boy jolted, eyes widening at the confused, bored, and knowing eyes

‘hm?’

‘oh? were you looking at y/n-chan?’

oikawa teased and the gojira fanboy waved his hands around to deny that statement

but makki chuckled and leaned in

‘hm, wouldnt blame ya. shes really pretty you know? some guy in our class saw the girls ranking and shes in the top 5′

okay iwa was angry

was it because everyone else noticed how pretty you are?

was it because you were part of this list?

was it because his own friend said you were pretty?

why did he even care anyways?!

oikawa smirked at the clenched fist under the table and decided to poke fun even more

‘oh really? well, it doesnt really matter because its always the girl’s decision right? but most of the time, their choice is utter trash’

the meme duo shared a confused look

‘hah? what are you going on about, oikawa’

oikawa internally apologized to you after what hes about to do because hes so tired and exhausted of having to be so careful and walking on eggshells between you two

so he did an oikawa move

‘yanno how y/n-chan and i have been friends since we were little ducklings right? so ages ago, like ages ago, little y/n-chan had a crush on this brute bc for some reason she thought he was brave or something and apparently thats appealing to girls rather than the nice and gentlemanly type. but of course, yanno how this goes, he pooped up and now hes stuck on doing this weird stalking staring thing. right, iwa-chan~?’

okay im sorry i take it back oikawa is a bitch

iwa shook

you,,, had a what on who?!

a crush on him?!

is he the brute?!

so it wasnt oikawa?

it was to him?

then why did you act like that?

why did you both act like that?

‘what’

iwaizumi mumbled and he met oikawa’s pointed gaze

‘hmm,,,, you dont have to worry about it anymore though since theyre not even friends anymore. but listen to me and listen well, makki, mattsun, if you hurt a girl even once, theyre never going to forget it. my sister said that apparently theres this little voice in their head that tells them that theyre going to get hurt again and thats where their trust issues begin to develop and--IWA-CHAN WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!’

iwa was already out of his seat and straight walking towards you and your group before stopping beside your chair

your friends quieted down at the sight of the known boy and you blinked then turned your head to see him, your eyes instantly turning dark and looking away immediately

‘what the hell do you want’

you hissed and natsu almost choked on his rice ball if it wasnt for another girl patting his back

‘it was me, right? all along, not oikawa, but me?’

his meek voice made you look up in confusion

‘what are you talking-’

‘you chose me instead him’

then it was like a click that you realized what he said

‘how did you know’

‘i-i’

he stuttered but was cut off when the teacher finally arrived to announce the end of lunch and iwa was forced to go back to his seat

the whole class time, you would sneak glances back and iwa would be staring at his paper while oikawa would wink at you and give you smirks

OH GOD HE TOLD HIM

after class you stomped up to the brunette haired boy 

‘how could you?! why did you tell-’

‘lets talk, y/n? please?’

iwa was holding your arm and you glared at him before turning away and walking away

oikawa patted him on the shoulder in good luck and whispered,

‘get your girl’

the rooftop ledge looked really delicious right now

no words were exchanged so you were both just silent with you staring at him while he was looking off to the side

‘so what? now you know and so what do you want?’

you spoke first and iwa guiltily met your eyes

‘everything was,,, a mess. i misunderstood and i didnt communicate and i,,, messed up’

he mumbled the last part but you caught it perfectly causing you to scoff

‘damn right you did. so now you know and then youre going to do the cliche thing they do in those dramas where you magically profess your love for me and-’

‘hey y/n lets date’

you froze and looked at him shocked with wide eyes and jaw dropped

‘excuse me? who are you to say that?!’

you shrieked

‘first you think i have some big crush on tooru and this caused you to basically drop me like a damn pencil and second youre asking me to date you? iwaizumi hajime i thought you were always the smarter one. what the hell are you spouting you damn imbecile-’

iwa did the only thing he thought of

he quickly leaned forward and pecked your lips

he saw some guy do it in a telenovela that his mom watched a week ago and that was how the girl got silent so iwa thought it would be smart to shut you up that way

and it worked

bc you were so conflicted: angry, confused, sad, happy

you was the whole range of emotions in one second

‘i was stupid. and i was dumb. i wanted to give you and shittykawa space because i thought he liked you and he would be mad and misunderstand if we continued hanging out without him. but you shouldve told me you liked me, baka. maybe i wouldve come to like you back’

iwa rambled but your eyes watered and you huffed, slapping him across the face but pulled his collar to kiss him again

tbh iwa was shook bc he got 2 kisses in a row today and hes never been kissed before and its from this really pretty girl

‘how dare you kiss me and still not like me’

you seethed when you pulled away

but iwa held your hands

‘im starting to come to. give me time and i’ll accept your confession’

and give him time you did bc you finally were able to try and mend that friendship again and soon, you were already starting to fall back in love with him 

but iwa also

during the end of your 2nd year, iwa nervously tugged you to the rooftop and you smirked

‘what? you gonna profess your love for me haji-kun?’

you teased and expected him to laugh and smack you gently but he didnt

he turned red and he looked down at his shoes as he magically produced a flower out of nowhere

‘please accept me, y/n!’

he shouted while holding out the single white carnation

your eyebrows scrunched and you grabbed the flower from his hands before punching him weakly

‘stupid! stupid haji-kun! i already accepted you! since we were five! how could you not see my feelings’

you whimpered, trying to hide the blush on your face but he smothered you to a hug, making you both topple over in the process

you had the cliched term of ‘summer love’

of course you still hung out with tooru but you both would hang out other days just you both

like you and iwa liked going over to some old playground by your house and you both would watch the sky on top of the slide assembly while talking about stupid stuff and the future

‘haji-kun, do you know what you want to be when youre old?’

you asked and he turned his head to look at you but you were focused on the stars

‘gojira’

he simply replied and you giggled, reaching over to hit his chest

‘baka. you cant be gojira-san’

iwa found himself giggling with you before he reached down to softly interwine your fingers and hold them up to look at them

‘hm, i dont really know. maybe a volleyball player. or someone in the volleyball team, i dont know’

you hummed, knowing him and tooru’s shared love for the sport

‘i wanna be a doctor. i want to save lives and help people and make money too! my mothers friend offered to intern me but apparently im still too young’

you pouted

iwa listened to you but then a lightbulb rang in his head

‘oi, y/n’

he started and you looked at him

‘you can be our manager. or medic. or doctor person. that bastard is going to push himself even harder because naoki-senpai gave him that damn position and he might kill himself trying to beat that farmer dude. besides, shittykawa is going to be the captain next year and i’ll be vice so youd easily get it anyways. so you in?’

you blinked at him before breaking out to a smile

‘eung! i wanna see my baby play what he loves!’

iwa’s face contorted to disgust

‘bABy?! iM nOt a BABY! im A mAn!! mAN!!’

‘mhm, okay. my mans, haji bara arms is my mans’

your relationship is very balanced with the perfect ratio of crackhead and seriousness and understanding bc as we ALL KNOW EVERYTHING STARTED W A MISUNDERSTANDING

like if he accidentally said something that hurt your feelings like that dress incident from years ago btw you brought it up to him and told him you were practically traumatized by that and he kept on apologizing and appearing at your doorstep with a white carnation in apology you would gently tell him bc communication is K E Y and he would tell you sorry and you guys would understand and make up

you guys were so lovey dovey that ltr oikawa would fake gag and throw up to the side when he catches you guys even doing things like holding hands

like bls he sees that flesh to flesh contact and he wretches his breakfast

‘ew, its the settling down for me’

‘its the flatness of the ass for me’

you stuck your tongue out while he pouted and iwa looked so proud like oml

you guys were still at the honeymoon phase where everything was peaches and rainbows and it continued until your 3rd year

as mentioned above, iwa basically gave you the managerial position

like yall were walking to school during the first day talking about how worried yall were at passing your classes when suddenly he was all like ‘ill see you in the gym later?’

you smiled and blinked confusingly

‘hm? you want a cheerleader there, baby?’

he flushed red at the nickname and furrowed his eyebrows

‘baka, stop calling me that’

you giggled and dodged his gentle smack but he grabbed your hand and pulled you close to his chest

‘i thought we already agreed that you would be our medic slash manager? i mean, it could give you experience for the future right?’

you rested your chin on his front to look up at him and your face held a teasing smirk

‘hmmm~~~ haji-kun just admit it. you want me to be there to cheer you on~’

you teased and nuzzled your cheek on him

iwa scoffed but he couldnt help a soft smile appearing

‘i mean-yea, but its for the future so ill help you every way i can’

‘oya? the future? will you marry me in the future, haji-kun?’

‘MARRY?! HOW DID YOU GET MARRY OUT OF THAT, BRAT’

‘AAWWWWW DONT BE SUCH A TSUNTSUN HAJI-KU-ACKDKJFSLKJNOT THE HAIR!!!’

sure enough you were at the gym after school

the coaches knew you werent a fangirl of oikawa bc hes seen you since the very beginning and oikawa clears you are actually a sister to him and you were fit for the job

ofc hes captain and someone as good as oikawa was going to get what he wants

the gym was full of newbies and recruits hoping to get into the powerhouse team and your eyes scanned to find those ridiculously pretty olive eyes that belonged to your beloved-

‘HAJI-KUN~~!!!’

you waved and shouted loudly, gaining his and everyone else’s attention as well

the underclassmen cooed and awed at you bc their senpai who was famous for being really pretty was in the building

‘waaaa its l/n-senpai’

‘shes so pretty’

‘oMG shes righT iN FroNT oF me!!’

yea you get the gist

the poor ‘haji-kun’ was shrinking under the attention and was growling at oikawa’s teasing look but he begrudgingly held his arms out for you to run into them and snuggle into him

‘hmmm i missed you, haji-kun. im really sad we’re in different classes this year. but then again! i can be here with you!’

you pouted and he ruffled your hair affectionately

‘why else do you think i offered it brat’

oikawa rolled his eyes and gagged before taking your arm to the coach so he could sort you out

‘honestly! not in front of the children, okay?!’

but everything was quickly resolved and you were finally officially their manager/medic

you did managerial duties and you were the go-to when someone falls harshly or gets hurt in any way

in between homework, school, reading medical books, and practice, you and iwa havent spent a lot of time together and tbh that was quite straining your relationship??

like it was something that you saw coming and you both even had a talk about it but you still feel like you didnt prepare enough when it did come

one day, it was monday and there was no practice so you and iwa were walking home together

he squeezed your hand occassionally and you would sing and hum while walking

and omg his heart would balloon up when you would smile up at him and giggle when you would catch him staring

he honestly thought youd both hang out and just lay on the couch, snuggle, yanno the routine

but once you pulled out your textbooks, notebooks, and pens, he was confused

like he even held your hands and stopped you from pulling anything else out

‘y/n? i thought we were,, watching a movie or something?’

you blinked and shook your head

‘i need to study for a test and i still need to memorize how to treat a sprain, haji-kun. there’s more important things to do right now. maybe later?’

more important things?!

more important than showering you with love?

more important than even spending a second with him?

now, dont get him wrong, iwaizumi hajime was by no means a clingy and possessive boyfriend

he understood the boundaries and he understood the priorities

but dear god its been WEEKS since he even hung out w you since your entire schedule seemed to throw him out of loop and acted as if he didnt exist

and now, he was aggrivated and irritated and he wanted nothing but to just cuddle his girlfriend

you noticed his huff and pout but he remained silent

you quirked an eyebrow and placed your pen down

‘haji? whats wrong?’

his eyes snapped to you and you knew now he was angry

‘oh? were you able to spare a few seconds for dear old me?’

you were taken aback and you knew there was a fight brewing so you hid your growing irritation and calmly put your things aside

‘hajime, what are you on about?’

you pried and he looked shocked, almost offended

‘what am i on about? what am i on about? y/n, do you know the last time i even came over? the last time i held you and just talked?’

his voice got louder by every word and you quickly stood up 

‘dont you dare raise your voice at me, hajime. if we have a problem, we talked over it calmly. we dont yell or shout, nothing gets resolved. we talked about this’

but he scoffed

‘talked? when was that? when did we actually just talk? hm? because I sure as hell dont remember it’

youve only seen hajime angry once and it was when you lied to him to go spend time with oikawa

okay in your defense, oikawa was having a panic attack and he begged you not to tell iwa because he didnt want to be scolded by iwa even though you kept telling him that iwa wasnt like that

and theres a reason as to why its only been a one-time thing because iwa was known to have patience that was as long as the damn nile river

except for oikawa bc it seems oikawa just cuts that patience by a million

and when he finally snaps, its when he couldnt take it anymore and he finally gets loose

when iwaizumi hajime was angry,  you really done it

you didnt really know how you handled that anger so you were at a loss and you were feeling conflicted and pained at the way he looked at you

‘h-hajime,,,’

you started and he looked at you expectantly

‘well? when did we last actually talk outside the school premises y/n?’

there was that inner witty voice of yours that wanted to say ‘right now?’ but you held it in bc he was completely serious

‘hajime, please understand. i-i dont want to let anyone down! my grades! the team! i-’

‘but what about me, y/n?’

he tiredly asked

‘do those things-those people- matter more than me? and i really really dont want to ask that but im so so confused y/n’

despite sounding manipulative, you knew iwa was feeling defeated and he couldnt help but ask those questions and sound so desperate

so you scrambled to sit next to him on the couch and held him against you

‘of course you matter to me-haji you mean everything to me, you understand? god, if an adult hears me theyd think im crazy but i love you, hajime. i love you and im so sorry if i ever made you feel that way because i really didnt mean to, okay? im so sorry’

you sobbed and he turned to fully envelop you into his arms and he sighed contently, remembering how good it felt to have you right there

‘no, im sorry, doll. i was being clingy and i didnt mean to lash out, i-’

you slightly let go and cupped his face

‘nonono you were perfectly valid. what you felt was perfectly reasonable. i havent been a good girlfriend lately, huh?’

you sadly smiled but he kissed you, holding you even closer

‘youre always a good one to me. always. just with a not good schedule but we can fix that, right?’

SORRY I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO WRITE A FIGHTING SCENE BC ITS ANGSTY AND I DONT DO WELL WITH ANGST BC IT MAKES ME CRY 😭

tbh that was really your only big fight

even when you guys graduated middle school, you both were still quite happy and you both worked hard to make time for each other

HOWEVER

when high school arrived, you both had chosen an extremely hard decision

you chose to go to karasuno while oikawa and iwa went to seijoh

which was a,,,, hard and difficult decision

in fact, you both didnt have a fight per se, just a disagreement that ended in like 30 minutes lmao

tbh its so scary and concerning of how rarely you both have bad times and how quickly it gets resolved

BUT THEN AGAIN THIS IS AN ANGST REQUEST SO ILL OF COURSE BRING IN THE SADNESS

you were busy with karasuno and you were actually taking college courses since you wanted to have a good record if you ever wanted to get into a medical field

that meant you had a lot of homework and most of your time was spent with schoolwork or interning for that family friend mentioned earlier

and you were also a manager for the volleyball team bc karasuno is a butt and they require you to have an after school club

so that meant,,,

no time for iwa

and fate just so happens to hate you bc the days you did have off, he would be busy with volleyball and he wouldnt be able to spend time with you

even weekends were like that

eventually, you both went for 2 months with no contact, just a few text messages and calls

and that strained your former strong relationship

and you knew that iwa was getting angry again with how he even typed his responses

‘want me to bring over snacks for the team?’

‘its okay. wouldnt want you to waste time or anything’

like that type of bull

you were getting increasingly worried because you havent had a good proper time to talk to him about it and you didnt want to fight over the phone

your best friend, kiyoko, noticed your anxious ticks and she snapped you out of your current daydream

‘hey? y/n? you okay?’

she gently asked and you blinked before nodding

‘mhm. just,,, thinking’

but she didnt buy that lie because you went back to chewing your lips and eyes even watering

‘i can revise your notes for you, y/n. and the team isnt doing anything big so i can handle it. you just go see him after school bc i cant handle you being sad anymore’

kiyoko gently smiled and you almost cried bc finally! you were able to clear your schedule enough to go visit your boyfriend

at the end of the school day, you bolted out of there and you were running and huffing all the way to seijoh bc you really wanted to talk to him as soon as possible

the gym was clear in view and you smiled, looking forward to seeing your beloved boy, when you saw him and oikawa being surrounded by girls

now keep in mind, youve suffered through middle school with oikawa and you were his best friend and has known him since you were a toddler

so you know of his looks and the attraction it brought him from all the females

so that didnt really bother you 

but what bothered you was the horde of girls that stuck on to your boyfriend and he didnt even look bothered

just,,, blank

not even pushing away or feeding into their actions

just,,, standing there

‘haji?’

you called out and as if he had a built-in sensor for you, his ears twitched and he swiveled to look at you

‘y/n’

he breathed out and you smiled gently

iwa quickly moved away from the girls and he grabbed your hand so you both could go somewhere else to talk privately

the back of the gym was quiet and you leaned against the wall, iwa joining you shortly

‘how-how are you?’

you asked and he scoffed, totally surprising you

‘is this how we are y/n? asking each other questions as if we’re friends who are meeting for the first time in a while? wait--actually we are arent we?’

you grimaced and looked to the side, knowing he starts his stages of anger with being passive aggressive

‘haji,, please understand’

you pleaded and swiveled to stand in front of him

iwa didnt meet your eyes, instead shoving his hands in his pants pockets and eyes trained to his shoes as he kicked rocks

‘y/n, ive been trying,, for months ive been understanding. please dont ask me to understand anymore’

he snipped and you sniffed

‘im doing this because-because my grades are starting to matter! my future is resting on these years! i have to-’

‘dont you think i know that?!’

he cut you off harshly

your eyes were shaking at his attempt to calm himself down and his trembling hands

‘dont you think i know that you are doing this for that? because ive known you since i was five y/n and i know you would push everything-everyone- else aside to reach a damn goal of yours. no matter the cost, as long as you get it, right? well youve always been like that and somehow i still accepted that yet years later here we are’

iwa waved his arms around to accentuate his point and hurt was bubbling inside your chest at a subtle jab at your flaw

‘well im sorry mr. volleyball ace player! im not talented in any area so i have to depend on my studies to get me a future! so fck me for trying to survive and create a life for us!’

‘us?! how is this for us?! y/n we cant even last a single year being apart and youre already thinking ahead of the future?!’

‘im doing this for you! for us! just wait hajime! we will be happy-’

‘I DONT CARE IF ITS FOR THE FCKING FUTURE! I WANT TO BE HAPPY WITH YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! AND WHY DOES THE FCKING FUTURE MATTER SO DAMN MUCH WHEN WE CANT EVEN-’

‘BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!’

you shrieked

‘HOW CAN YOU LOVE ME IF YOURE NOT LOVING ME?!’

he huffed and harshly wiped away tears that fell

your lips trembled, hands shakingly reaching out to grasp his arms

‘ha-hajime,, don-’

‘should we break up?’

was he asking you this right now? 

seriously?

‘what?’

you whispered and he finally looked up to let you see his pained eyes

‘y/n do you know what day it was yesterday?’

he asked and you blinked, looking everywhere as you tried to remember any important events

‘t-tuesday?’

that seemed to snap his patience 

with an angry grunt, he turned to punch the wall and crouch to hide his face in his hands

‘damn it, y/n’

he whimpered and your heart broke as you could hear his cries

then it clicked

anniversary

it was your 2nd anniversary

and you completely missed it

completely forgotten

you shrunk back and let out a cry before placing a hand over your mouth to muffle your cries

‘ha-haji-’

you sniffled and you tried to go closer to him but he wiped his eyes and stood back up

‘y/n lets break up’

iwa requested with a cracked smile

your eyes widened and you ran to his chest, wrapping your arms around him as if you let go, he would disappear

‘haji, we can talk about this! we cant-please dont do this-i can fix this-’

‘we will only hurt ourselves even more if we continue this. i dont want us to hurt anymore y/n. so please, for once, listen to me’

your heart shattering cries filled your space and he didnt think it was this hard until he finally said it

it was a decision that he has been hanging around for a while and even consulted oikawa about it

‘iwa-chan, if you love y/n so much, its best to let her go. dont make you both suffer anymore’

‘i cant-hajime youre it for me-please dont leave-’

you hiccuped and continued to sob

but iwa remained a pillar and squeezed you tightly against him

‘darling i believe we were meant to be. but we just did it all wrong. when the time is right, lets start over again’

he whispered, finally breaking down with you in his arms

-------

iwaizumi hajime became a taboo word for you

even with oikawa, he swore and vowed to never say either of your names and made sure that you would not be around the area when iwa would come over

like even when he knew iwa would just stay inside, he would be constantly on the lookout to make sure you both didnt see each other

the last time was when you both saw each other in the morning as you exited your house to walk to school

it must’ve been a few months after the breakup and even oikawa felt the raw pain hovering in the air

it was suffocating and oikawa had to motion you to walk because if you both stayed even a second, someone-or both- would start crying

you continued like that for years until you reached your third year

you continued being part of the volleyball team as the medic while kiyoko was the manager

the new recruits were causing up a storm and you were particularly fond of your kita kouhai kageyama tobio

‘kageyama? kageyama tobio?’

you asked once you caught sight of the familiar looking blueberry

he looked up and recognized you as his former manager

‘l/n-senpai!’

he shouted and you ran up to give the boy a hug

‘gosh! youre so tall now! i remembered when you were wee tall!’

you teased and ruffled his hair

‘uh-you know him, y/n?’

suga asked and you nodded

‘eung! we went to the same middle school and i was a manager there’

‘she was friends with iwa-’

ope

something flashed in your eyes 

kiyoko knew that name bc of how you were so depressed about it for 2 years and she started shouting random nonsense, scaring the 2nd and first years

‘y/n! we got new medical tape!’

she sang out and you perked up

‘finally?! we dont have to use duct tape anymore?!’

you excitedly ran over and everyone was both shook that kiyoko was loud and two, you were actually excited over medical tape

kageyama shrugged and continued on training

he kinda figured something happened so he never said anything or asked you anything in fear of upsetting you

and when it was announced that you were going to a practice match with seijoh, kiyoko actually told you she would cover it to make sure you dont see him there

‘its fine, y/n, i got you’

but ofc, you couldnt skip inter high

ltr an event when anyone in the team could get injured so you forced yourself to just ignore it and go

you did a good job of hiding whenever he was in view until the time they actually faced each other

you were walking alongside kiyoko and settling some things down at the bench when you felt his stare

you grimaced at his intense stare and the entire team mistakenly took it as him being interested in you

‘HAH?! LOOK AWAY YOU BEANSPROUT!’

noya growled

‘YEA! DONT LOOK!’

ofc hinata echoed

the 3 seijoh third years exchanged looks of unease when iwa sighed and looked away

‘oi! dont do that, boke!’

kageyama chided and hit the orange boy with a water bottle at the head

hinata whined and glared at him

‘that porcupine was looking at l/n-senpai! he wants to steal her!’

‘boke-’

‘doesnt matter anyways. we broke up ages ago’

you tried to say it jokingly but they couldnt miss the crack in your voice

‘hah?! he broke up with you?! you?! goddess l/n-san?!’

tanaka raged and noya had his own face of shock

the famous seijoh ace dated you?!

this handsome bara arms muscle buff man had the priviledge to date you and yet broke up with you?!

‘yall didnt know that?’

kageyama questioned and everyone glared at him

‘how do you know’

‘i just did. i didnt want to say anything for this same reason that you guys didnt know and she wouldnt want her business out there’

he simply replied and continued filing his nails

you looked up and smiled

‘it doesnt matter anymore. it was years ago so its fine’

‘L/N-SAN WE WILL AVENGE YOU!’

‘WE WILL! WE WILL!!’

the three stooges swore and you smiled softly, ruffling each boy’s hair

‘then go out there and make me proud’

but we know how this goes

they lost and you were so devastated for the others and you dropped your bag to go and comfort a crying hinata

‘sshh, dont cry dont cry. im right here’

you cooed and he accepted your embrace, hugging you tightly

once he finally calmed down, you were able to get him to a good enough condition to walk to the bus to go home

you went back to get your bag when you found something on top of it

a single white carnation

and a small ripped piece of paper that said,

‘my name is iwaizumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’

a/n: iknowiknowiknow i died but im not back to life and this request was lowkey difficult and i dont think i did a good job w it because angst always gets too angsty for me but i couldnt resist giving this a sad ending like bls!!! and uwu im still working on that oikawa route bc ya girl cant decide how angsty she wants it to beeee and i have like 4 different versions of the route in my drafts hehehe,,,, but i hope yall liked this and uwu ive never been in a serious relationship before so i wouldnt know what to fight about and came up with this:(

[mojwisungie]

hc | boyfriend ♡

req (from: anon) ➥ : read the mark-jaemin boyfriend, and then then renjun-jisung boyfriend headcanons,,, can you do one for the remaining members? thank you~~

☄︎ with: lee jeno, lee donghyuck, zhong chenle ☄︎ lou.note: this has been in my wips for so long im sorry anonie but here i am to give it you guys as an offering for my birthday (its tomorrow on the 26th but anyway) hehe hope you all enjoy <3

ੈ⋆ mark & jaemin ver. | renjun & jisung ver.

Jeno

the observing, supportive boyfriend

jeno doesnt pay much attention to things that arent important

but YOU are important

you mean so much to him, and thats still an understatement

he often thinks that by paying attention to you and everything you do

he'll know you in a way no one else does

at this point, he knows everything about you

your favorite sweater (which he owns), favorite color, favorite artists, favorite songs, etc.

jeno actually knows your order by heart even if it varies in different restaurants

his mantra is actually happy y/n = happy jeno ^_^

thats also the reason why fights dont usually happen

he knows when its too much for you and so he will do what he thinks is best for the situation

anyways: dates with jeno are either doing physical activities or plain cuddling on the couch

it would mostly be him who initiates dates like hiking, biking, etc.

but, he would also always check with you if youre okay with it or if you want to rest 

one time you asked him for a day in those sport grounds ?? like those places that has random games like wall-climbing, archery, and trampolines

oh this boy has the biggest smile on his face asking you, “hold on love, are you serious ( ◕▿◕ ) ?”

during hectic weeks, he’s definitely up for movie marathons

if he still has some energy, he will make a blanket fort for the both of you

also jeno lee is a cuddle bug (you cannot change my mind, this case is closed)

and so he’ll use these lazy dates to indulge in hugging you for as long as he can 

on the supportive note, he always reassures you with the kindest words

AND hes the type of guy who will ask you if you need comfort or solutions when you rant to him T﹏T

and that is actually proof that he is the best support system

he'd be your hype man when you need a push

thinking of auditioning for a club? go ahead, he'll teach you what he knows

want to try a new hobby and start journaling? he'll help you find cute stickers (and he'll buy them too)

he will always help in whatever way he can, and he will constantly assure you that he’s there for you as you have been for him

he is reserved, quiet, and keep things on the down low, yet with you, he’s entirely different

jeno loves you just as you love him, and he’ll do everything to prove it to the world- you.

Haechan

the enthusiastic, soft boyfriend

he is!! literally!! the sun!!

he often calls you often in the morning to wake you up, greeting you with the loveliest voice saying, “good morning darling, how was your sleep?” SADKJASD

if he’s free, he’ll actually drop by yours to bring breakfast and eat with you

and if ever you still live with your family, you bet that once you slip into the kitchen he’s chatting up with your parents like he’s their son

actually... he technically is

he loves going out with you and your family as much as he loves going out with his

hyuck is very family-oriented, you really dont have to plead to him if you want him to come to a gathering

as long as you say yes to him inviting you to their family activities too 😌

he once asked you to go with him to this intimate family dinner his relatives organized

and you ask him, “are you sure im allowed to go? the invitation in the email complete says Lee Family and clearly.. im not-”

this man didnt even let you finish and says, “BUT YOU WILL BE!! SOON!! I WILL MARRY YOU!! baby come on just please come with me!!!”

he means it though

you dont know it, but the thought of spending the rest of his life with you often comes into his mind

and so dates with him can be both ends of the spectrum

you guys could go for fancy restaurants, amusement parks, and even late night computer games (if you dont play, he’ll teach you dont worry <3)

but there are also domestic dates such as grocery shopping, helping each other babysit nephews/nieces, and the such

its obvious to every one that haechan is so soft for you

and he doesnt care what other people say

one time, mark heard him talk to you in the cutest, softest voice and laughed... and regretted it bc haechan turned to him in the most serious face and the deepest tone saying, “and so?” 

as much as possible, he wants you to feel loved bc thats what you make him feel

despite this, arguments are still there, but it doesnt go on for long

fights dont escalate as you both work together against the problem

so at the end of the day, no feelings are hurt or turned a blind eye to

disagreements are often rooted from the nature of work though, thats why every time things arent so fine, he’ll do his best to fix it

because he treasures his time with you and the love you both invest in

he didnt value time that much before, bc he’s so used to putting up with whatever that comes his way

but when you came into his life, he realized it is indeed precious

haechan spends every second loving you beyond infinity

Chenle

the parental, sincere, affectionate boyfriend

you’ve seen him rant, right?

he’ll do that often, but only when its about you not getting what you need

others may not see it, but he’s really concerned when its about you so he’ll do anything to make sure youre well taken care of

if you havent eaten yet bc youre too busy going over your notes for your exams, he’ll buy you your favorite food and feed it to you

all the while talking about how you shouldnt put aside eating bc its important to eat meals at the right time

this guy solves old math problems when he has time to spare, so he’ll be okay with you coming to for help whenever you struggle with your lessons

as cliché as it may be, he will also get you the stuff you need- whether it may be for school or for your personal shenanigans 

you complained about your laptop once, saying it keeps on lagging

he deadass goes, “do you wanna go and buy a new one now?” 💀

he just wants you to do well in the stuff you do, okay ??

chenle is blunt about pretty much everything in your relationship too

he tells you all the stuff he knows he should tell you

including embarrassing moments of his members

the dreamies cant joke around with you too much,, bc they know you know everything (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

but jokes aside, sometimes his honesty can be cause of some arguments

bc he gets too straight-forward at times and ends up unintentionally hurting you :((

and when you explain why it made you feel that way, he’s lost bc he thinks he was just saying the truth

but as time passes, he will learn how to be upfront with you without having to sadden you

please be patient with him as he is with you 👉🏼👈🏼

anyhow, dates with him would always be one for the books

if you ever think that he probably doesnt remember the dates you wanna go on to, youre wrong

bc its all listed in his mind and he’s determined to tick every single one from the list

when he’s busy or away on tour, facetimes would be a regular thing

he’s prepared with the timezones and he will remind you to sleep when you should, no buts y/n

if you tell him you cant just drift off, he’ll always offer to sing you to sleep

and when you do, he’ll take lots of pictures to treasure the little moments he has with you

some people tell him he looks too deeply in love

but he doesnt really see anything wrong with it because it was with you

chenle completely knows that he loves you so much, and he’s willing to love you until forever

[julie-thefatones]

Ghost of You || Luke x Reader || Part 4

A/N: Your best friends with Julie, since the stamp was removed from the boys they are able to be seen by lifers at choice and can touch lifers at choice, but are still ghosts. You and Luke grow closer and closer starting to go from friends to more than that and everyone starts to notice, it just takes a little longer for you two to figure it out.

Part 1 , Part 2, Part 3

Side Note: The song that Luke "writes" about Y/N is in fact Moving Along by 5 SOS look it up its a good one

Word Count: 3,088

WARNINGS: 16+ (Sexual References)

It had been weeks since yours and Lukes encounter, in fact you guys have barely talked.... Anytime you guys hung out it was always with the group and only the group and every time he would barely even look at you, you didnt really know what to think of it .... you missed him, yeah you knew that it was gonna be different than before but not this different... You were walking out of 4th period when Carrie came jogging down the hall to catch up with you "Hey Y/N! im gonna walk with you" She said in her normal high pitched Carrie voice, you gave her a shy but inviting smile and then hugged your books to your chest, you hadn't really felt like your self since this whole thing happened, Carrie could see the sadness in your demeanor "Are you okay Y/N? you have been down for like..... weeks" Carried asked with concern, you kind of sighed because thinking about it was hard enough let alone talking about, but you thought your friend deserved an explanation, you glanced in Carries direction "Not really" you said with sadness in your voice "Me and Luke had an... incident so to speak a few weeks ago and it kind of caused a rift in our friendship and now he won't even look at me or talk to me....." you sighed and looked down at the floor "I miss him" you said in a barely audible sad tone, Carrie came closer to you and put a gentle hand on your back showing she cared "Can I ask ... what happened between you and Luke.... you guys were so close, like it was rare to ever see you guys not together" Carrie asked in a soft tone trying not to be pushy, you contemplated on telling her or not *What do I got to loose* you thought to yourself then stopped walking, turning to face Carrie

"Okay.... you just cant tell anyone okay" you said getting close enough to Carrie so that only she could hear what you were saying, her eyes widened with intrigue "Yeah, I promise Y/N" she said urgently to insure you knew that she wouldn't tell a soul "Me and Luke......" you started saying, then stopping to look side to side, to make sure that no one was listening to what you were saying, then looking straight back into Carries eyes "Me and Luke, almost slept together... like it was going to happen but then ... Alex and Reggie Poofed in and then it was a huge mess and then Me and Luke agreed to just be friends and now we are here" You said in a slight urgent whisper, Carries mouth was wide open with shock with her eyes bugged out of her head "Carrie?" you said widening your eyes in concern to why she wasn't answering yet "Carrie!" you exclaimed in hopes she would snap out of it "YOU AND LUKE WHAT!" she yelled in which you immediately slammed your hand over her mouth "Can you not yell maam" you said with tight lips and wide eyes, Carrie shook her head yes under your mouth and relaxed, you released your hand from her mouth in which she started talking instantly "Im sorry! you and Luke what? why am I just now hearing this" Carrie exclaimed in a whispered tone, you sighed and continued walking down the hallway, in which she followed after you "Because I didnt want anyone to know .... I didnt want to make a big deal.... especially since Luke isn't even talking to me ..... I don't know... I just really really miss him" You said in a melancholy tone, Carrie looked at you as if she was gonna say something and then Alex poofed in right in front of you and Carrie, stopping you both in your tracks "Woah! Hey Alex" You said in a high pitched tone, you thought you would be used to them popping in like that by now but you weren't "Luke misses you too! hes driving me crazy" Alex exclaims motioning his hands from his head like he is going out of his mind, You just look at Alex not really knowing what to say, Carrie just looking back and forth from you to Alex waiting for one of you to speak again, Alex continues on with his rant "Y/N! hes so mopey, hes just sitting around all day writing in his stupid freaking song book with his sad Luke face! and anytime I try to ask him to do something or ask him what wrong he just looks at me with that face you know that Luke face that is just like brooding and HIS LUKE

FACE!" Alex says in frustration all while pacing back and forth in front of you guys, messing with his hair in frustration and annoyance, and then he abruptly stops in front of you with wild eyes, grabbing both your shoulders "Y/N! you gotta go make up with him or something! I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Alex exclaims, you had to admit this was slightly entertaining you couldn't help but chuckle, but then you sighed thinking about the *You gotta make up with him* part of what Alex said "Theres nothing to make up, we aren't fighting ..... we just ..... I guess aren't as close as we were" You said back to your sad voice , Alex rolls his eyes throwing his hands up in the air doing a slight twirl to face away from you and then a quick motion back to face you "BULL CRAP! YOU GUYS CANT GO FROM ALMOST BONING EACH OTHER TO NOT TALKING AT ALL THAT FAST!! YOU GUYS NEED TO TALK! NOW" Alex exclaims, now pushing you toward the door, Carrie just laughing and then following after to not miss anything "GET HIM OUT OF MY STUDIO, AND FIX HIM!" Alex continues pushing you out the door, him and Carrie just standing in the hallway looking out the door as you walk down the street in major confusion to what just happened, Alex sighs "I really hope I got through to her but wasn't like mean ya know" he says tilting his head to the side as he watched you walk away through the school doors, Carrie tilting her head in the same direction but snapping it up ward to look at Alex "No I think you did a great job! very well executed" She said with reassurance, Alex snaps his head up to look back at her "Thank you, ya know I just ..... I really want Luke out of the studio" He said bringing his hand to heart.

As you walked down the street you decided you weren't gonna go see Luke, it just felt too weird and you didnt want to impose, you just decided to go home... you just wanted to sleep! not talk to anyone or deal with anyone! just sleep! you thought to yourself....... your feet dragged you up the stairs into your room, you slammed the door and face planted on your bed when you noticed something in the corner of your eye... It was your guitar, Luke had kept it with him since he gifted it to you just to keep it safe, but there it was, with its own stand and everything, then you noticed a note sticking out of the strings, you quickly rolled out of your bed to stumble over and read it, you gently pulled the note out of the strings being careful not to damage the guitar in any way, the front of the note read To: Y/N you could tell it was Luke who left it there because of the awful, but cute hand writing, it smelled like him and you thought that was a weird thing to think but .... you missed that smell, you took a moment thinking about the last time you breathed in his scent.... flashing back to the night you guys almost..... you shook your head bringing your self back to focus and opening the letter

Dear Y/N,

Hey.... long time no talk eh? how are you? I don't know why im asking that this is a letter not a text message..... anyway! here's your guitar, figured it wouldn't be any good to ya if you didnt have it. It didnt have a strap or anything so I took the liberty of picking one out for you, I figured you would like this one it has checkers all over it, It will match your vans... and my vans too! thats pretty cool .... I almost bought one for my self I think still might, look at us matching guitar straps! Reggie is gonna be so jealous! Anyway, I hope your doing good ... Oh! and good luck on you French test! I know you were nervous about that, I know youre gonna rock it! you always do

-Luke

You closed the letter holding it to your chest and smiling, you lightly lifted the guitar strap with your finger to look at it, you chuckled noticing that you were actually wearing your checkered vans today. You removed your finger letting the strap fall gently back to place, you sighed curling your legs up to your chest. You remembered that the band had a show tonight... *Should I go?* you thought to your self... you initially thought you wouldn't go, but it would be nice to support your friends, and maybe you and Luke should talk *Okay Im gonna go!* you thought to your self confidently, but first you needed a nap.

It was 7:00pm, you arrived at the venue of the gig 30 minutes before their performance, the place was packed! you knew you should have gotten their earlier, but it was hard enough to get out of bed to get here... wasn't exactly easy for you.

You danced along with the bands that were on before Julie and the boys, you noticed Flynn and Carrie across the venue, they noticed you back waving their hands in the air in excitement for you to join them, You grow a big smile and excitedly run over to join them... you hug them in a greeting, and just then you heard the announcer say "Please put your hands together for Julie and The Phantoms" the crowd goes wild, Julie and the boys had become quite popular in your town, You, Carrie, and Flynn made it a point to be the loudest ones out of everyone though. Julie entered the stage, alone like she always did, she made her way over to the keyboard and sat down. She pressed one button on the keyboard in order for the boys to poof on stage, Luke immediately starts singing while simultaneously playing the guitar "Thinking bout you lots lately! Have you been eating breakfast alone like me! Thinking bout you lots lately Oh are you moving along!" You had never heard this song before, it must have been new, Luke played and sang effortlessly, you didnt really notice the lyrics until you noticed Carrie and Flynn looking at you with curious wide eyes, Luke sang with such passion in his voice, he always did but this time seemed different. When the bridge came Luke found you in the crowd his eyes getting big but then locking his eyes with yours as he sang, not breaking his stare, singing "Scared of moving on, but you're already gone So if you're moving on, won't you just tell me? Scared of moving on, but you're already gone So if you're moving on, won't you just tell me?" As soon as the bridge ended he broke your gaze, you shook your head in order to get your self to recover, you look over at Carrie and Flynn who were watching you for your reaction, you look back up at the stage, Luke and Reggie were doing their classic move of sharing the mic during the chorus, then Luke broke off, playing the melody on his guitar with such... what seemed like anger, or frustration. You started questioning if you should have even come tonight *Was this a mistake..... he looks mad* you thought to yourself, now biting your thumb due to your new anxiety toward the situation. When the song ended Luke shook his hair which was now damp with sweat, and then he stared at you, you couldn't tell what his emotions were at this moment.... *oh boy, how am I gonna make it through this night* you thought to your self.

The band had a great set, after the new song they played Finally Free, which was one of your favorites, then they did Bright. You were really proud of your best friend and how successful her and the boys were becoming. The whole event was over and the place was now pretty much empty, it was just you, Carrie, and Flynn waiting for Julie and the Boys to come out from the back. You were super nervous to see Luke, you didnt know what to say, was that song about you? you wondered to your self.... in the middle of your internal crisis you saw Julie coming from the back with Alex, Reggie following behind all smiling and then Luke shortly after them, he wasn't smiling though, he was just anxiously messing with the hair behind his head. Carrie and Flynn ran up to Julie to give her a hug to congratulate her on the show, you broke your gaze from Luke in order to do the same, you quickly ran over to give your best friend a hug "Congrats Jules! that was an amazing show!" you exclaimed and then motioned to the boys "All of you!" you said looking at all of them, and then setting your eyes on Luke just a little longer than everyone else, he just shyly smiled in response "Thanks Y/N!" Reggie Exclaimed "Did you like the first song? Luke wrote it about you!" Reggie continued with a big smile and a slight chuckle at the end, Lukes eyes widened with annoyance, Alex just turned slowly to face Reggie, his eye twitching in the process, Reggie just looked confused at both of them "What? was she not supposed to know" Reggie asked like he really didnt know, You just stood there shyly, not really knowing what to say, Carries eyes widened "Well!! Flynn! Julie! Alex! and Reggie! I think there is something over here you guys should see its really cool?" Carrie said breaking the awkward tension, or trying to at least, motioning everyone in to the other side of the venue in order to give you and Luke some privacy "Why whats over here?" Reggie asked confused, in which Alex pulled his arm with annoyance rolling his eyes "Just come on reg!" Alex said with a frustrated tone pulling him in the direction Carrie was leading everyone. Soon enough they all disappeared behind a curtain on the other side of the venue, You turned to look at Luke who had his hands in his front pockets, he looked up to make eye contact with you, a half smile appeared on his face as you guys shared a look, you couldn't help but smile a little too. Luke lifted one leg up and then hoped forward to get closer to you "Soooo....." He said as if he didnt know what to do next, You put your hands in your back pockets, then motioned your shoulders forward a little "Sooooo" You echoed back to him, he chuckled "Did you like the show?" He said motioning toward the stage, you nodded your head yes "Yeah!! you guys rocked it as usual" You said, you felt awkward because you had so many things you wanted to say but you didnt want to overwhelm him or feel like you were over stepping, He made a slight whistle shaking his head yes then looking down at his foot which was resting on its heel motioning side to side, "Was that song really about me?" You blurted out with out even thinking, or realizing what you were doing, Luke froze and then looked up with wide eyes, his lips still pursed from whistling and then he relaxed his position putting his foot down and removing his hands from his pockets "Okay, we're just gonna jump right into it..... yeah! it was" he said with a slightly frustrated tone, you bit your lip not really understanding "Wh- why?" you asked truly wondering why he wrote it, you guys both agreed to be friends and you guys never dated so what was there to move on from, he looked at you scrunching his eyebrows together "Why?" He said back confused to why you were confused, you don't know why but you were getting angry "Yeah!" You said throwing your hands in the air "Why Luke! Why everything! Why have you been avoiding me! why have you been so absent!!!" You exclaimed, starting to tear up "So what we almost slept together! BIG DEAL! THAT DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO CUT ME OFF! THAT DOESNT ME YOU

HAVE TO

TURN AWAY FROM ME!" You didnt realize it but you were yelling, tears were streaming down your face, you wiped your tears with the sleeve of your jacket "I missed you so much..... so much Luke..... so yeah why?" you said softer with a crack in your voice, Luke bit his lip in frustration "You wanna know why?!" he exclaimed moving one step closer to you "Because you mean more to me than I could ever imagine someone meaning to me, youre the most amazing person I have ever met!" He exclaimed, now him growing tears in his eyes "AND WHEN YOU KEPT SAYING WE'RE JUST FRIENDS IT EFFING BROKE ME INSIDE BECAUSE IM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU THAT IT HURTS! OKAY! THAT THE FACT YOU DONT WANT ANYTHING MORE THAN JUST FRIEND SHIP KILLS ME INSIDE! SO YEAH I AVOIDED SEEING YOU BECAUSE EVERYTIME I SAW YOU THE PAIN WAS UNBEARABLE BECAUSE ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS GRAB YOU AND HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS AND CALL YOU MINE!" He yelled, grabbing his hair in frustration "There ya go! thats why!" he exclaimed finishing his statement, You stood there gathering the ends of your jacket sleeve in your fists, looking at Luke with red puffy eyes, and before you could respond Luke picked up his guitar, wiped his eyes and poofed out.