#i didnt know it was you in robots but ive always thought that voice was hot thx

[bird-prince-art]

congrats on the star ewan, thank you for inspiring my haircut and also being one of my first cartoon crushes through the sheer power of your voice

[sans-enjoyer]

Inanimate Insanity Episode 16 Spoilers!!!!

its been like, two days since episode 16, and people are already arguing about Mephone's age. He is a child, and this didnt come out of nowhere guys, he's always BEEN a child:

^post from 2018!! 5 YEARS ago!

^Brian reposting art (amazing art btw<3) where Mephone is described as a CHILD and drawing in a childish way.

^Brian saying that Mephone is so young he doesn't even know how to SPELL.

Now; heres some stuff ive been hearing in argument against him being a child.

"Cobs is infantilizing him." I agree with this to a certain extent, he is acting like Mephone is a child who cant comprehend anything like an abusive parent. but thats where it stops. Children can ALSO be infantlized! But aside from that, Cobs even says; "I forgot how young you are!" Parents don't say that to their adult children, because it makes no sense unless Mephone is a child.

Secondly, why would Brian and Justin be doing the same thing? They say he's young!

"He has an adult voice." Robots don't hit puberty! This means nothing. Unless youre saying that the creators implied hes an adult because hes voiced by an adult, well i'll have to refer you to the images above.

"He hosts an entire show." Arguably not very well, also again, he's a robot, and also, theyre on an island! its not like you need a permit to film on a random island in god knows where. Any child can "host" a show if they have enough determination, general knowledge of how they work, and equipment, and would you know it Mephone has all three! He knows how they work because he watched them in meeple, and he can generate any equipment he needs.

"He's a robot, he doesn't have an age." True..? sort of...? But the thing is, being legally defined as a child is based off your mental capacity. Children arent as mentally/emotionally intelligent as grown adults, because they don't have the life experience nor the capacity to be. Mephone barely has ANY life experience, he grew up in Meeple, and then started the show immediately after leaving. And obviously, in Inanimate Insanity (and all object shows), robots are almost always sentient beings, unlike real life.

"He's much more mature than a child, especially one that couldn't spell." Debatable! First of all, he thinks things like 'going to jail for one day' and 'the calm down corner' are terrible punishments, like children. If you tell a child to go sit on the stairs for 5 minutes and frame it as a punishment, they will take it as serious as anything else. Secondly, he literally decided to make a random species of bat.. things? fight to the death because they ate his four month old ice cream. No mature person would do that... Thirdly, abused children ACT more mature than others because they HAVE to be. Abused children are not ALLOWED to act like children. They have to be mature for themselves because who else is going to be? Who else is going to take care of you when your parent doesn't? But that doesn't mean they arent still a child.

So now we tread into questionable territory. Is it okay to deny the idea that he is a child at all costs, just so you can ship him or sexualize him? There is really no other reason why you would deny that he is a child.

Now obviously; lets not harass anyone who has drawn ship art of him or sexualized him in the past. This stuff was not commonly known, most people thought he was an adult. But if you look deeper, he isn't.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk, if anyone reads this far (￣^￣)ゞI know I usually only post art, but this is an important topic to me as i am very hyperfixated on Mephone4 i swear i can't control it guys!!

Feel free to make any counter points, im open to discussion, but i am also very set on this opinion. Have a good day everyone!!☆

[nightmaredxydreams]

we've been seeing transramcoa shit and we need to make a public vent about it so people who identify as transramcoa or are considering it won't.

major tw. this goes into detail about csa, deeply.

ok so, im the host. i never knew i went through ramcoa until about a couple years ago, even with clues and shit. i only found out after i met someone else who did and i could relate to their story. so i did research on ramcoa and yep, i fit it in just about every way possible. i literally checked off every box on some list of signs youre a ramcoa survivor. then i realized... i had been programmed for whatever reaction the handler wanted, whatever they wanted me to do, i felt like i was a game and they were the player. i was always told "youre so naive and dumb" and finding out i was a ramcoa survivor made me feel even more naive and dumb. like i was to blame. i felt like if i wasnt so naive and dumb, i wouldnt have been programmed. and the more i found out about ramcoa, the more i discovered the programmed alters. and thats when the persecutory voice in my head got worse. i felt like i was faking ramcoa, faking DID and faking trauma entirely. i felt like i wanted it to be cool or as an excuse for me being "born broken and worthless" with all my trauma responses i didnt even remember the trauma to have. my mental health tanked severely. i was covered in cuts, suicidal, attempted many times, and was reaching out for validation in places i shouldnt have. i drove friends away who couldnt deal with my constant heavy venting. i felt like i was faking or had too much baggage to deserve a friend. i felt like i deserved ramcoa when i believed it happened to me. i became more insecure about my body (this went with the denial- id think i was too ugly to be sex trafficked and i thought i made it all up to be "cool" and "not a virgin" since the body is disabled and cant really have sex) and more hypersexual than ever. when i found out i survived ramcoa, i either felt like it didn't really happen to me and like i was faking or i deserved it when i thought it happened. most of the time i thought it didnt, because your brain doesnt want you to know you have that trauma especially if you have DID. your brain doesnt even want you to know you have DID. if you are a real ramcoa survivor you will feel severe denial it happened and... broken for no reason. like you never went through anything severe so why are you this way? then you deal with the realization it happened and you feel used, dirty, dumb, like a game or a robot, not a real human. trust me, you dont want to be a ramcoa survivor. is that not enough for you? well heres more on how the sex trafficking affected my body and relationships...

i was hypersexual ever since i can remember. i was a three year old child and acting out sexual touching with dolls and imaginary friends. i was only three years old and had shame that i did it, even though nobody knew i did it. i was so developmentally disabled i couldnt put real sentences together or communicate, yet i felt shame for sexually touching dolls and imaginary friends. living my life not knowing i was sexually abused and asked how i discovered my sexuality, i answered with "ive always liked girls sexually ever since i could remember" and had to have it pointed out to me thats not normal and its a sign of sexual abuse. i always thought it was a normal kid thing to be sexual that little. wanting answers as to who violated me when i was so little, i asked the people who lived with me at the time who answered with "maybe it was your step grandfather. you were never alone alone with him so it had to have been brief touches that were a second" when im alone in almost all my memories from when i was little. after getting told "well its maaayyybe him but it cooouuuld be your cousin since she sexually abused you when you were older" and relying completely on external validation to validate what was on my inside, i flip flopped around with it and some people thought my inconsistency about trauma was me lying when i truly didnt know what happened. i lost friends and was doubted by people when i was desperately seeking validation. now to what it did to my body...

i have bladder issues from being sexually touched causing me to have utis. i have uti like pain almost every time i pee. ive been raped with plastic (almost sharp) objects and feel sharp pains in my somatic flashbacks to being raped. i will literally be doing nothing and boom, i feel a sharp pain down there. my vagina rejects tampons or really anything that goes inside it. i feel like someone stuck something up my ass every time i get done taking a shit. i have sudden nausea that doesnt feel like it belongs to me out of nowhere. i have been fucked so much my body is fucked up too. i want hugs, i love affection and it makes me feel important and safe, but i feel like my body is too violated to be loved and i get anyone who touches me dirty and they should feel ashamed for hugging me and i should feel ashamed for letting them.

you don't want this severe mental pain. you dont wanna be like me. you don't want this life. and if you do, you're fucking sick. fuck you.

[bulbabutt]

Can I ask your thoughts on TF One? I have mixed feelings about it, but I’m very curious about what other people think (this can be an invitation to rant if you want it)

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH thats all ive BEEN doing but you've asked for it

its. so fucking. like okay you could tell from the trailers that it was just gonna be your AVERAGE ass blockbuster movie. its tone was not giving anything original in the slightest. you know, mcu slop. not like... that everything mcu IS slop, but like youve seen unoriginal basic blockbusters before im sure. vague 'we gotta save the world' types.

starting with characters: we have quirky funny hero who makes bad jokes, hes starlord but not as thought out. childish and hopeful, but never wrong. we have a secondary 'comic relief' who... feels useless cuz orion is already the jokester, hes there to be awkward and make the others uncomfortable, but like... ahahha hes violent now. hes pretty useless to the story. and we have cliche ass woman side character whos there to be.... the fuckin scarlett johansen type, i feel like i dont even need to specify what i mean by that. youve seen marvel movies or marvel like movies. like elita in this movie bumps that prime arcee problem i have up to 11, heres shes....... a career woman. who is FINE being taken advantage of and not being compassionate cuz THERES WORK TO DO.... like. i mean think of those romcoms where a woman has NOOOO time for dating kind of thing. and then the only character worth a damn (also the only... not shitty SOUNDING one aka a good VOICE actor whos being a CHARACTER and not just 'hey everyone you know this guys voice') is megatron, and hes not as well thought out as he should be. like they do TRY with his arc, but its not satisfying enough, they dont HOLD ON HIM enough i think. and then hes the bad guy when HE DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG........

this movie bumps the usual 'transformers lore is boring long and confusing as hell' to 11 cuz its a movie, trying to fit in lore that usually is spaced out over the course of a tv show. and tv shows with all that lore tend to be annoying anyway, but JESUS in a movie is it ever annoying. but its not that thought out! like. ive said it a hundred times before, but i HATE the 13. i hate the fact we have fucking jesus and the apostles to the LITERAL god primus, it makes the story fucking basic as hell. it makes the politics surrounding the war religious and messy and BAD! THIS IS ABT ROBOTS WHY IS IT A HOLY WAR NOW!!!

and showing that the one guy who WASNT chosen by god to be the bad guy whos lying to the people ABOUT being chosen by god is bad! we should know thats bad COME ON. and his whole thing is 'oops ive fucked up and now im sacrificing my people to these vague alien invaders cuz im a big dumb idiot and i have no plan on how to deal with this tee hee' like. how you gonna make the quintessons this lame. theyre vaguely animal like but willing to make a deal and stuff. its really poorly thought out.

also. from the trailers they made it look like 'oh no, elita and airachnid are gonna have that GIRL beef with each other, so we can justify the girls fighting' but.... they didnt even do that. airachnids not really a character, shes just... the only person whos on sentinels side. for some reason. but really its just cuz shes physically weird, and she could easily be replaced by an object shes not a character, shes the camera with the proof. (something something girl transformers are always motorcycles or spiders cuz sexual dimorphism of alt modes LMAO)

like. i did not care for prime ive said that a million times here, but at least that shows telling and not showing gave you like 'okay so orion and megatron used to be partners who started a revolution together, and their political beliefs are what splintered the planet into autobots and decepticons'. but HERE. its so fucking vague?? its like. ok what split them apart was.... the fact megatron wanted to kill the (according to the movie) only guy who was causing any problems for the whole planet?? WHEN BUMBLEBEE WAS JUST SHOWN KILLING LIKE 20 GUYS 5 MINUTES EARLIER???

anyway that 'death' scene for orion was ripping off beast machines and while i had issues with beast machines at the time FUCK YOU! they did that for A REASON!!!! IT WAS NARRATIVELY IMPORTANT TO HAVE HIM DO THAT! IT WAS BAD WHEN PRIME RIPPED IT OFF AND THIS RIPPED IT OFF WORSE!!!!!! FOR WHAT!!! 'oh optimus runs in the way of megatrons gun to save the, i repeat, guy who is SINGLEHANDEDLY responsible for opression on their planet?? thats fucking stupid. thats genuinely so stupid, and while him being like 'im done saving you' COULD be fun and cool and interesting there justttttt wasnt enough of it??

like what i find interesting is that megatron and ELITA had more in common, they were BOTH trying to use the fucked up system they knew was fucked up to get ahead. and what do we get out of that? some BULLSHIT 'girlboss' speech that belongs in 2011 from elita about 'im better than you, i could do everything right cuz im cool and badass and smart and better than you. but.... youre a big dummy with a heart so you should be in charge' GROOOOOOOOOOANNNNN

people always wanna harp on me for being like 'idk man, i like g1 cuz i think theres more interesting ideas that could be readapted better by people who care' but instead we have to turn characters and stories and ideas about politics into basic ass hollywood blockbuster vague nonsense to fit the ideals of the wider movie going audience. and i think thats bullshit.

i think transformers should go back to ripping of star wars and im not kidding. stop making the autobots the fucking leaders of the planet, youre making them complicit in a corrupt worldstate and turning them into fascists who oust non believers. they started as fucking scrappy rebels, take me the fuck back if youre not even gonna go so far as to say 'maybe the autobots do the WRONG thing' like they did in animated.

i think people only like this movie cuz theyre too fucking used to the GOD AWFUL BAYVERSE, and so they think this is GOOD. its not!! its not smart at all!!! go watch sci fi shit from before 2007 I SWEAR TO GOD!!!! EDUCATE YOURSELF!!!!

the best tf movie IS STILL the transformers the movie 1986 cuz it was COOL and DIFFERENT and well animated and had a good soundtrack and was full of cool characters! maybe it was a lil goofy, but THAT message of hope in the face of despair speaks WAY louder than THIS SHIT..... if youre gonna force the conflict to be political you need SOME UNDERSTANDING OF POLITICS....

im sorry. ive only seen the movie once but im just.... it encapsulates every fucking issue ive been having with the transformers franchise since watching prime. where it got fucking religious and poorly thought out. i know its those god awful bay movies faults but JESUS its been sticking around WAY too long and im tired.

[5-pp-man]

another tierlist because ppl actually liked that first one;

the crème de la crop;

the first 2 eps i thought it was fine, but it didnt really captivate me as much as id hoped. but then ep 3 changed everything for me. i started to think "how could living armour work logically? everything so far has been edible, so this must be too, right?" i actually managed to think of the exact thing that this series did. that really made me realise the worldbuilding in this was something unique, and it only got better and better with each episode. its really managed to captivate me and i look forward to "delicious donderdag" every week :)

ANIME ORIGINAL LETS GOOOO absolutely bonkers show that almost slipped by me because it initially tried to fool its audience into thinking it was a regular dramatic military show. it still is but theres also a giant robot who plays by saturday morning cartoon giant robot rules. if that sounds like tonal whiplash to you, trust me, it is. and its amazing. have i mentioned how homoerotic this one is as well? yeah. originally a tier below this one, but immediately after finishing this post i watched the newest ep. i had to make an exception and edit the list because ep 9 changes everything. i havent been gobsmacked by a show this hard in a while.

(return of the) show(s) that execute their own premise very well;

i havent read the manga for yubisaki to renren so i cant compare, but the quality of this adaptation has been very consistent. you need a little sweet romance every once in a while :) this is one of those series where the characters really grew on me the longer it went on. im always a fan of mixing realistic struggles with romance and this one has been doing it well so far

adaptations that are ok (i read the manga for both of these);

i've been a mashle fan since before s1 aired. and the anime has some good changes and additions here and there! but its not very consistent in terms of quality, it does that shonen thing where the animation quality suddenly spikes for certain action sequences, but it also frequently had a lot of scenes where they recycle shots a lot and nothing interesting happens on the screen for a considerable amount of time. still! its a fine adaptation. and yeah the op for this. blew tf up lmao? very strange to see happen in real time

i actually rlly like the manga for this one. i read the whole thing up until vol.6 before the season started (all that was available back then) and it made me cry multiple times throughout. i was sort of missing that connection with the show, though some of the later episodes still hit. its mostly to do with the animation quality, which isnt that great unfortunately. the voice actors are knocking it out of the park though

wghere am i;

is this show good? i. uh. will you hate me if i say yes...? objectively, i know its not that good. especially in the animation department. but if you like other Umatani shows, you'll like this one. it's got the same brand of goofy reactionary humour mixed with gimmicky tacky characters and crazy stupid plot twists. ive been faithfully watching this one each week and I'm afraid i've become very invested. overscientific indeed

bro you fell off...;

i was so beyond excited for this one. i replayed the op a million times, watched each preview, rewatched multiple episodes. and then. ep 5 happened. and i started to realise. oh this show kind of sucks doesnt it? the pacing of the first ep was great, but the rest? way too fast. it became clear with ep 6 that theyre trying to do a double cour show with half the length, which is why they started hauling ass plot-wise. now. i was an arajin apologist for the longest time. but at that point i honestly started to loathe him. even when he stepped up, his praise still felt sort of unearned. and to top it all off, shindou's motivation sucked so he felt like a lousy antagonist. ep6 was better than 5, but it really made me lose my enthusiasm and hope for the series. and right as we were talking about them probably not having time for a filler ep, ep7 happened. feels like a waste of time to do an ep like that when you've still got a whole 2nd arc to go through. but who am i

it started off pretty good honestly. but then chris went to the hospital and it kind of just dwindled from there. this season does so much with characters that have not even been properly introduced like how am i supposed to care about these people if i barely know who they are. the stuff with finn and leo respectively was good though. but the lore dump? lord help me. also vijay just kind of. exists to be there in the background huh? i would not call him a main character they never give him any attention. wendy had another ep again and he didnt get shit. again. also i think finn was stupid as fuck for not listening to lala but again. who am i. i know we cant destroy high card because we need a show but. cmon man.

i am severely behind on these;

reason why im behind is because most of the eps are a bit heavy so i kept. not watching them. its starting to get rlly interesting though so i'm def gonna catch up this is one of those robo-racism shows so i have to really watch out to see where its going. dont want another marginal service situation...

sorry this is just. a little too boring for me. its charming, sure. but i think this wouldve worked better as something with an 11 min timeslot instead of 23 min. theres just a bit too mu- or well, too little for me to rlly get into this. i think reading it would be more fun for me personally

[itsdappleagain]

it is time for the crackle goes kiwi caper!

oh man. im so close to being caught up. hold on, stockholm, I'm coming and i WILL be on time (i hope)

thats auckland btw

notes under the cut as always

OH okay ive been saving a really old edit for this episode

you're welcome

oh opening thoughts on the episode. ummmmmm its good. i like it. only reason i would have to dislike it is i guess the sort of red crackle stuff from it but i dont hate red crackle on default so it stands as a good episode. i like the dancing and the stakes actually feel pretty high a lot of the time!

not player hacking into the russian government

ah, neal. neal the eel. he is indeed. an eel

also rhys darby is my favorite voice actor on the planet

also also autistic dr bellum real and true

YOU WILL TRY

YUHHH GET IT

neal loving puns 👍

the "coo" neal does after he escapes into the vent is the bane of my existence i hate it with a burning passion

i wonder if "project tripwire" is supposed to be an experiment left over from the cold war or something?

zack is enjoying his sandwich!

that lean over carmen's shoulder one hand on the desk one hand on his hip move shadowsan is doing is the most dad thing

top ten moments before disaster

GIRL THE 3/4 PROFILE IN CS STYLE DOESNT WORK STOP USING IT

i love that the vile harddrive is like. VILE google

CRISPY FRIED CARMEN

player: we need an electrician who knows their stuff so carmen doesnt get electrocuted to death!! the job they need done: wooo slidey thingies....ooooooo dont let it touch the line!! woooo!!

player in s1: we CANT let crackle get ANYWHERE near you he may be a SLEEPER AGENT or put you in DANGER player in s2: we cant 🥺 even bring him back to play for the good guys? 🥺🥺🥺

i guess thats probably because shadowsan confirmed that he doesnt have any memories or sleeper agent tendencies lmaoo

fun fact! graham's cafe does not in fact exist. it is a housing complex/ lookout

carmen could not have picked a more. i mean just what a cover story. obviously i get that its personal to her but imagine being an electrican and this lady who is even younger than you comes up to you and is like oh...yeah i run an international charity. for abandoned children how unaccomplished would you feel wheeze

i will never stop saying this but SAY GOODBYE OR SOMETHING PLEASE CARMEN

interesting that the "cuppa" he insists she has with him kind of sets off a shit ton of stuff for s4. if acme hadn't taken gray in they wouldnt have probably ever been able to help carmen get out of mind control, or it would have taken much longer. she wouldnt have been able to discover and destroy the robots. weird stuff

insert meme about people calling paper star tammy because of that one time she used that as a codename here. except its with player and peter

ALSO HEEY PLAYERS ACCENT FROM S1 PAID OFF...he was practicing...

where did they get that ballet which is perfectly synched up to the lights he needs to turn off

not bellum's ominous green lighting black shiny lab. so subtle

also you would think that the power station bellum draws ALL her power from would be better protected wouldnt you?

did they let crackle practice the "lights" because if they didnt- yikes that sucks and if they did- bellum's security mechanism just going haywire as he practices pjgkkjsghd

mm this scene is good

OH also. eternal bounce looping gif because mmgh that animation is good

that animation of gray adjusting the slides where he goes in like. an arc in reverse. good shit

carmen is so not normal about the electric fields i love her. i get you're supposed to be dancing but girlie just run and jump its ok

even more bouncy because i cant be stopped

I LOVE HOW BOUNCY SHE IS. LOST IN THE SAUCE (the sauce is tchaikovsky)

a nearly electrifying performance is the best way to tell your best friend you didnt just die in a really horrible way

honestly the quip about sheep is a pretty good one. neal is SO COOL his fight scenes are really fun. takes a lot of ingenuity for our mains to outdo him

also his score is SOOO COOL its like. its slithery idk how to explain it

HAHAHA SHE PROTECTED THE FACE AND HE WENT FOR HER LEGS

i love how she was just like "nah fuck this" and ran the other way

HIS "OUGH" WHEN SHE TRIES TO KICK HIM IN THE FACE DHGDJHGKD. WASNT EXPECTING THAT ONE I GUESS

she goes down really hard a couple times fighting him. you can hear after he mule kicks her against the wall that it hurt

carmen's signature move, the titty twister

that "slick" line has become a line i just repeat with the same inflection like five times a day wugewghdh

player's kiwi went a little irish there

why did he go out the back door looking for carmen if the rest of the "theater" was supposed to be the other way 😭

oh okay nevermind he's just. he just doesn't listen

gremlin bellum appreciation

gray is literally the luckiest motherfucker alive please

didnt carmen lock the door behind her also??? im so confused how did he get in

"carmen?" "sandiego" (clapping noise from the intro)

the little confused noise gray makes pls its so funny

also love how his first question is "what kind of concert hall is this" and not "why are we sprinting down a hallway"

THATS THE NIGHT THAT THE LIGHTS WENT OUT IN AUCKLAND (sick guitar) THATS THE NIGHT THAT THEY H wait a minute

so hot i love her

kill, my queen

WILHELM SCREAM!

i love the disgust and annoyance that immediately overtakes her face when neal shows up again

are we ever going to talk about how neal was trying to snap her neck or no

no? okay

it would have been really funny if that crackle rod was set to lethal

i love how she says "zackivy" as one cohesive unit

pls carmen looks so short next to cracker

sharon muthu is such a queen

love also how carmen is more concerned about gray recognizing the voice than bellum threatening to take out auckland. yes girl priorities

fantastic shot of her grinning and then getting all smirky about it. she's so hot. again

michael put his whole pussy into that scream/crikey

"it won't blow up in our faces will it?" "um just. stick your hands in there okay"

i love when cs uses "bad" colors like the red flashing warning light to indicate goodness like carmen winning

the crikeys are killing me

THE TRIPLE SHOT OF THE TRIPWIRE PROJECT BLOWING UP IS SO ICONIC

i love neal going from horrified at the explosion to looking at bellum like. what did you just say

crying over how carmen just looks at him with no expression on her face after he makes a kiwi joke

and now a series titled "OW!"

thank you

also carmen does a WHOLE FLIP when she crashes (not doing photos because its hard to see) but she goes down on her neck, does a flip, and then slides in on her stomach

wow! good thing carmen is okay after crash landing in the woods due to something going wrong with a glider flight. im sure that won't happen again, and even if it did I'm sure the consequences couldn't be that terrible!

it would have been funny if he had died on impact im just saying

maybe he did and the power of carmen saying the wrong name brought him back

if the copyright wouldnt blow them to hell and back im a thousand percent certain they would have had crackle ask if carmen was like james bond

carmen: ill explain over that coffee also carmen: explains nothing

wow look the line that jumpstarted me writing fanfiction. my first fic was a red crackle fic based off of this scene/the afterscene of acme looking at the cameras and speculations of gray joining acme. guilty ✋

carmen vaporizing on the spot and leaving graham with thousands of dollars is a vibe

yeah vile didnt lay eyes him. yep

ALRIGHT FUCK YES IM CAUGHT UP WITH CS WEEKLY!! STOCKHOLM HERE I FUCKING COME ON TIME YES BITCH MY FAVORITE EPISODE

[spookfished]

media roundup march-jul

this is my review backlog from when i was like getting ground into the ground working at a summercamp lol. ..if my thoughts are really short i probably just wrote it

NOTE FROM WHEN I STARTED THIS IN LIKE JULY: hey guys whats up! i was like "during spring break im going to read so much!" then i had to 'apply' for 'jobs' :( also i was playing so many games (not umineko though. sorry rokkenjima-ers). then like 5 months passed! woops. now i am a college graduate and unemployed 👍so now i have plenty of time to do things like this lol. making a post for these and then for everything in august. skipping the music section also bc i dont feel like it. some things really worth spotlighting were small victories, wrath goddess sing, and honk for jesus.

books:

what feasts at night by t kingfisher: horror novella (?) about a scary house and an ex-soldier. i liked reading ursula vernons reading as always, but this was a bit too short for me to really get a feeling for anything… it also didnt have the same visceral horror as their previous book (what moves the dead) so i was a bit disappointed :(

cathay by ezra pound: a book of tang dynasty poetry translated by notable contemporary poet (and infamous fascist) ezra pound. ts eliot once said that cathay "invented" chinese poetry in the mind of the western reader, which is weird bc he didnt speak a lick of chinese at the time. umm tldr i didnt like this book but i did write 750 words of review including a translation of my own (NOTE FROM TODAY IN OCTOBER: I WROTE THIS LONG ENOUGH AGO FOR CLASS THAT ITS ACTUALLY KINDA EMARRASSING NOW SO PLS BE NICE) if youre interested in that kind of thing lol

wrath goddess sing by maya deane: retelling of achilles where she is a trans woman. dathomira's review of this book can speak more for it than i ever could (and also its been a couple months..) but i really really enjoyed this book. go check it out!

a clear and muddy loss of love by please don't laugh: f/f webnovel. qiyan agula, female prince of the grass plains, has sworn her revenge on the nangong emperor after his reign killed her family and annexed her country. she ends up engaged to the emperor's daughter, nangong jingnu--but their bond makes it harder and harder for qiyan to enact her promised vengance. vibes wise, its kinda like baru cormorant but tilted way farther towards romance than political intrigue. i really loved this!! the way their relationship grows together…. qiyans gender fuckery…. the length of a webnovel really lets you sink into jingnus character development--its such a turnaround that i think it would be hard to do somewhere else. yay i love baihe

year of rice and salt by kim stanley robinson: what if instead of 30% of europe dying from the black plague, 99% of europe died? how would that shape the centuries to come? also, buddhism is here. this book is really well done and really well researched. the audiobook is reaaally good to listen to while travelling--the narrator, uh, doesnt pronounce everything the best but has this really velvety voice that i loved. i had a good time listening to this while driving cross-country (i only did a little of the driving lol) but fell off a little bit after that. also, if anyone knows any books that are more just like the first part let me know!

videogames:

ultrakill: YEAHHH ULTRAKILL HELL IS FULL BLOOD IS FUEL ETC. ok if youre involved in like the trans indie gaming community at all, youve probably? at least heard a teeny bit about ultrakill, which is a fast-paced mega-violent retro FPS about being a robot descending throug hell and KILLING!! i was really unsure about if id like this personally (jumpy, didnt like ovewatch or most fps ive played) but like. dude. ive sunk so many hours into ultrakill this month. im literally on the last layer rn (the game is currently in early access, but theres plenty to do). people call this game overwhelming, but i guess ive felt that since its a single player game its way Less overwhelming than something like um, ovewatch again lol. ultrakill's blood-to-heal mechanic encourages the player to get close and dirty, and there are tons of mechanics that sound as cool as they feel--punching bullets back at the enemy, ricocheting coins into weak points, etc. also gabriel is here!!! i like him a lot :3 theres a free demo here if it seems like its up your alley

yakuza 0: a brawler game set in glitzy 80's japan, following kazuma kiryus rise to power within the yakuza--at least i think thats whats going on? after all, hes the protagonist of like 5 other games also called "yakuza." this game glories in violence and materialism (you use money instead of xp to upgrade your abilities) and it has a gritty story full of sad-eyed men smoking, backstabbing, and losing everything. yakuzas one of those series that kinda hangs around in the background with a couple people Absolutely Obsessed with it, so its nice to see it live up to the hype. im only on chapter 3 (out of 16?) so far, but im really enjoying it :3 of course, yakuza is famous for having lots of minigames but ive only sampled a couple of them so i dont feel like i can really comment on that yet. some of the cutscenes are kinda long but the voice acting is really good…. i usually do stuff like make my bed or fold laundry while im watching lol. id recommend it so far :3

neon white: scratches the ultrakill speedrunning itch but if the only part of ultrakill was speedrunning and the gritty visual element was replaced by like, smooth apple-style celestial gloss (theres no ground pound even!). in ultrakill you get a beautiful array of tools (guns) to solve the same problem (killing a guy) in multiple ways but with neon white theres essentially one perfectly bite sized (most missions are 30 seconds or less) solution and you just have to get as close to it as you can. brought down of course by the extremely corny writing and voice acting, which at least has the decency to be sincere--it grew on me, but not by much. having cutscenes interrupt the mission sets was also deeply frustrating. IT FUCKS THE FLOW, MAN. anyways still a really really good game with an amazing soundtrack that i would recommend for any first person platform likers or speedrunners

rabbit and steel: just a really fun mmo-type (GCD-based) game! for like, wow/ffxiv raiders who wish those games had fewer cutscenes to sit through haha or potential raiders who dont want to put together a static…

ghost trick: afaik, shu takumi's only standalone mystery game. a ghost detective investigates the mystery behind his death by possessing objects and tricking on them, ghost style. um the ghost trick fandom is very strident about playing spoilerless, and i do think that was definitely good! some of the twists here are pretty crazy. but, like, i think that insistence made me think that ghost trick was going to be "lifechangingly good" instead of just "very good" -- which it is! the puzzles are very clever and fun and the writing is, of course, really funny, charming, and heartfelt. but i couldnt help but be just a little bit disappointed? still a good game though.

balatro: poker game where all the rules are malleable--for the right price. dude balatro made it so much harder for me to pass my finals. really good game if u are a numbers type of person (or maybe really bad) i think i would have sunk a LOT more time into this if pikmin hadnt come around

tv/movies:

dear ex (rewatch): i already talked about this on one of my [other posts] but rewatching it was good :3 i cried again

brave bang bravern: bravern is like… a pastiche of the mecha genre? that mixes like, gritty war mecha shows with fluffy sentai-like shows that ultimately ends up having a lot of heart and sincerity. and also gay people?? idk i really liked it but i think u kinda have to be mecha-pilled at least a little bit already for sure

shogun: woops i forgot to finish watching this. well its a drama about this british sailor who shipwrecks on japan in the middle of a power grab (by tokugawa) really fun! unfortunately i frequently do not have the attention span for hour long episodes unless someone makes me do it

honk for jesus: drama? about the wife of a megachurch pastor who is trying to stage his big return. about what she gets from staying with him, what she endures and what she inflicts on others as a result. (also, image!) really interesting to watch as someone who knows very little about megachurches, with some fantastic acting

life is short girl walk on: sort of an anti-romcom? about one girls wild night out. soo so so pretty it really captures when youre like out really late with your more adventurous friends and youre like wow literally anything could happen rn. definitely worth a watch 👍

challengers: bro all the filmheads saw challengers its the tennis threesome movie. its really good enough said

i saw the tv glow: i watched this movie on a shitty tv interrupted by gambling ads like three times and it still ripped my dick off. man. not a lot to say about this one bc i already talked about it a bunch with other people but i think everyone should watch it

marcel the shell with shoes on: slice of life movie about, well, a living shell. with shoes on. actually really really good?? i was so surprised (the trailer is like accurate but at the same time makes it seem kinda hallmark twee) and like it is a little bit cutesy but not in a way that diminishes the movie itself or its messaging.. i think it being pretty offbeat and also the internet elements (?) also helped balance this. has the pikmin element of "wow being small really helps you to marvel at the world's beauty in a new way" while also being about connection and grief.

the bad guys: animal heist movie. its pretty good even if i don't like akwafina very much at all. fun and soothingly predictable with nice art

podcasts:

small victories: small victories is a slice of life/drama podcast about marisol, a recovering drug addict trying to put her life back together--and it's really going to happen this time, for sure! marisol has such a clear and engaging voice (and her voice actor is so great!) that you can't help but root for her no matter what, even when she messes up horrendously. it made me go like this o_o 🫢 alone in my room like i was eavesdropping on a breaking up couple at a party

thanks for reading if you did! or even if you didnt? anyways this has been stewing in my notes for multiple months. be free

[mumbos-waffle]

day something fictober prompts!

today is “do i frighten you?”

The hermits watched as grian spawn in, he had previously taken a tour on the server and been interviewed. Everyone had met him, so when he spawn in, not a human but with wings almost 5 times the size of him and eyes spread over his body, they were surprised. Grian looked around at the scared faces, most with their hands on the swords that sat on their side. He nervously chuckles “hey guys'' he stuttered looking down at himself. Xisuma makes a ‘back off’ motion with his hand towards the group, “grian? You said you were human mate?” grian scratched the back of his neck,

 “Well about that,” he folded his wings as close to his body as he could and closed the extra eyes, “I'm not.”  xisuma noticed his shaky hands and shallow breaths, he needed to de-escalate this. “Okay, thats okay, we just would've rather known incase we need to change anything around the server!” he smiled trying to get ‘it's all good!’ across “like when etho joined,” he pointed at the robotic man “we needed to know so we could tell everyone to be careful with water around him!” 

“Huh” he frowned “sorry i guess- i just thought you guys might be put off by the whole” he motioned to his eyes “thing…” Xisuma smiled and assured him it was fine.

He sat by mumbo admiring his bat wings, “youre so cool mumbo!” he giggled, “oh gosh, stop it, i'm turning pink!” They both laughed a bit and continued talking about whatever, grian had been on the server for a few months by now, he hasn't taken his wings out again, even though the server assured him it was fine he was afraid he'd get called things or he'd scare people. He trusted mumbo though “mumbo? Can I uhm- show my wings?” he felt silly asking it, and he sounded like a child asking their mother for sweets. mumbo looked frightened at the subject but immediately agreed. Mumbo watched in awe as his friends' wings faded into existence, the night sky building them out of nothing.

Mumbo thought they were beautiful but a million ugly words came flooding into his mind simply because he knew what grian was. He didnt voice any of them, instead settling for a ‘woah’ he was afraid silence would speak volumes. They continued talking but mumbo couldn't get it out of his mind, his new friend was a watcher, the most feared, and definitely not supposed to talk and live with people. “Are you afraid of me?” grian asked out of the blue, mumbo panicked a bit “no- of course not! There's tons of non-human people on this server! Me included!”  grian looked skeptical 

“Yea but none of them are watchers'' the words hung in the air, “okay- fine, yes, you do scare me a bit, ive never seen a-” he swallowed his spit, as a kid he was always taught not to say the word, it was childish to still hold on to this sentiment. “Watcher before, it's just kind of shocking” he cringed at his own words feeling worse when grian looked a bit down 

“its something I need to get past. I'm pretty feared myself, you know?” He smiled revealing the sharp teeth in his mouth “i'm a vampire! Only a few people on the server know, when I joined we were still being hunted! Xisuma is a kind man though” 

Grian looked comforted by mumbos ramblings, mumbo was glad. They had both learned a few things that day. 

1: they could trust eachother 

2: they could trust xisuma

And 3: they were both wanted criminals 

[samanthadalton]

Star Crossed Lovers (part 14)

Do my eyes deceive me???? part 14???? we did it. im so sorry its taken forever, i will try my best to be more consistent with my writing. love yall for being patient with me it means the most. thank you, thank you. 

warnings: throughout this fic there will be mentions of substance abuse, homophobia, sexual abuse, violence, NSFW, mentions of abandonment, depression and death including suicide

reader discretion is advised

warnings: angst, swearing (lots of it) 

taglist: @drmmyrs @cloud9in @somewillwin @save-me-the-last-dance @baexpoppy @stanzoeywade @ognenniyvolk @thepotatobleh @crazzyplays @fall3ngods @helpconfusedpersonhere @clowneryme @dopeyouth @boys-girls-i-cant-help-it-baby @vonda-b-real @uselesslesbianfr @veenast @cloakanddaggerthings @somethindarker (sorry again if ive missed anyone, if you wanna be added on this taglist or my general one just let me know 😊) 

word count: 4k (i feel like its short considering how long it took me to write but i still hope you guys enjoy) (also i didnt check for grammatical errors properly so sorry if you find any) 

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 part 12 part 13

The first steps to moving on 

“Bea please,” Poppy whispers, a repentant look creeping up to her face as she looks away from her girlfriend. “It can’t wait.” 

Bea sighs, her shoulders slumping as the last remains of her anger disseminates from her body. “Okay fine, lead the way babe.” 

Poppy stiffens that the pet name but she doesn’t let her awkwardness slip as she leads Bea to a secluded classroom, far away from prying eyes. Both her and Bea turn to look at each other, and both simultaneously open their mouths to talk. 

“I know you wanted to tell-” 

“We need to talk-” 

Both clamp their lips shut, a mutual smile playing on their lips as they look at one another. 

“You go first,” Poppy gestures towards Bea, as she moves to sit on the edge of a desk. 

Bea inhales softly, her tongue darts out licking her lips as she looks down at the ground, her face calculating. “Why does Chloe hate me?” She looks up to Poppy, her eyes boring into the strawberry blonde’s, sadness swimming inside of them, “I just don’t get what I’ve done for her to hate me.” 

Poppy sighs heavily, her eyes awkwardly darting away from Bea’s. “It’s complicated Bea.” 

“Complicated?” Bea lets out a humourless laugh, “I almost just went off on Chloe after she gave her condolences for my mom dying because I just felt she wasn’t genuine and you wanna tell me it's complicated?” 

Poppy sharply inhales, contemplating for a few moments before saying, “it’s because of your mom.” 

Bea scrunches her brows up in confusion, “my mom? What the hell does she have to do with this?” 

Poppy ineptly plays with her hands, not being able to look Bea in her eyes, “at first it was just a classist thing. When you first came to Belvoire, she just wanted to make herself feel superior over you, but in the last year you’ve noticed her getting more mean right?” 

“Right.” Bea stares at Poppy, her expression emotionless. 

“Chloe’s parents have been fighting non stop recently, and it’s been affecting her a lot.” 

Bea’s brows furrow in confusion, “what does that have to do with me or my mom?” 

“Just let me explain first before you react, please.” Bea’s eyes bore into Poppy’s for a few seconds before she nods understandingly. “Her dad cheated on her mom. A lot of times actually. But he was blackmailed by one of the women he slept with.” Poppy pauses for a few seconds, “your mom.” 

Bea lets out a shaky breath, her eyes blinking in disbelief, “no, you’re lying.” 

Poppy nervously bites her bottom lip, “look Bea-” 

“How long have you known?”

Poppy’s face scrunches up in anger, “this isn’t my fault Bea. I only found out that day I went to talk to Chloe about us. Chloe made me promise not to say anything to you-” 

“Poppy! My mom OD and I don’t even know why. And now you’re telling me she was blackmailing the St James family and it doesn’t occur to you that might have had something to do with her death?” 

“They’re not the fucking mafia Bea, jesus. They were trying to settle it quietly by giving your mom some money and make her sign some stuff so she couldn't threaten them anymore.” 

The devastating ramification of Poppy’s admission hangs in the air as the two girls let the words settle into them. “Chloe really is sorry about your mom Bea, we all are.” 

Bea sighs, staring off into space, as a few tears begin to fill up in her eyes. “I just don’t know what to do.” Bea begins sniffling, but Poppy makes no movement to console her girlfriend. Bea notices and her expression sobers, “so, uh what did you wanna tell me?” Bea sniffs a few more times, before looking up at Poppy, giving her a small encouraging smile. 

Poppy looks away, guilt creeping up on her face, as she tries her damndest not to catch Bea’s small smile on her face. “Bea…”. Bea carefully assesses her girlfriend’s demeanour, noticing the similar body language during when they first asked to take a break, she thinks back to the last couple of days, she had barely heard from her girlfriend, and now she’s not affectionate, even after she almost had a mental breakdown in the middle of the hallway and her smile drops. “We have to break up,” Poppy says, her tone so monotone and dry as if she didn’t mean the words she was saying at all. 

“I don’t understand,” is all Bea can muster, evidently hurt by Poppy’s admission. Poppy winces slightly at Bea’s tone, finally breaking her robotic demeanour as she lets out a few sniffles. “So is that it? We have to break up,” Bea retorts mockingly, “is that all I get after all these years?” 

“Bea..” Poppy reaches out but Bea immediately takes a step back, tears flooding in her eyes. 

“No,” she holds her hands up, “I don’t get it, things are going good, or at least whatever twisted definition of good we’ve made up. Where the hell did this come from?” 

“Bea my dad-” 

“Of course! Hayden Min fucking Sinclair had something to do with this. Why do you still live under his shadow? You talk all this shit about breaking out of your father’s prison and wanting to achieve your own goals but he sucks you back in.” 

“That’s not fair Bea,” Poppy interjects, balling her hands up into fists in an attempt to subdue her trembling, “my dad has given me so much and he’s threatening to take it all away.” 

“Yeah, all you have to do is get rid of me. Me or the Min Sinclair name.” 

“Bea this is the life I have, okay I’m not like you, I’m not built like you.” 

“So what? I can grow up without a dad and now without a mom but it’s okay because I’m used to pain and disappointment?” 

“I didn’t mean it like that, you have a plan, things you can achieve, I need the Min Sinclair name, I’m nothing without it.” 

“Wow.” Bea shakes her head, “So I just meant nothing?” Bea wildy throws her arms in the air, anger bubbling under the surface of her demeanour. “We’ve practically been together since we were kids. And you’re just gonna fucking throw that away? And for what? Fuck you Poppy.” 

Poppy takes half a step back, dumbfounded by Bea’s outburst. She scrunches her brows, evidently hurt, “you don’t get it Bea. Even though your mom wasn’t the best, she still supported you, even if you didn’t know about it. My dad he- my mom what would she think?” 

“Your mom? Poppy what kind of shit is your dad brainwashing you with? Your mom is dead! You have no idea how she would react to having a gay daughter, but I know she’s probably disappointed in you.” 

“Fuck you Bea.”Poppy runs out of the classroom, tears streaming down her face, leaving Bea on her own. 

“Shit,” Bea whispers to herself before throwing a bunch of punches at the wall, each more cathartic than the last until she can’t physically hold herself up anymore. Bea defeatedly slides into a chair, cradling her head in between her hands, letting the tears free fall, as reality begins setting in that she lost the one thing in the world that was her everything. Poppy Min Sinclair was her rock, the girl who she gave her heart to, the love of her life and just in a matter of moments it was over. Maybe it was too good to be true. The beautiful, perky popular rich girl and the girl who had almost nothing, complete polar opposites, it never should’ve worked. But time and time again when faced against the world they persevered so why was this time different? Poppy had chosen her namesake over the love of her life. She chose the life of glitz and glamour over the girl who gave her her entire heart. Bea feels her entire world crashing down, how much more heartbreak could she take? Was her life always going to be so hard? So full of hurt? Full of pain? She winces at the thought, her head hammering as she comes to the realisation that she understood her mother’s pain more than she thought. 

…. 

Bea hops off her bike, parking it in front of her house, as she pulls her phone out to look at the time. ‘It’s lunch time,’ she thinks to herself. After the day she had today, school wasn’t the best option for her right now. She makes her way to her front door but stops in her tracks when she realises her front door is slightly ajar. Her survival instincts kick in as she effortlessly pulls out her pocket knife, carefully pushing the door fully open. As she steps into the living room, her eyes dart to the closed door of her mother’s room, but when she hears a creaking sound coming towards her bedroom, she cautiously moves towards the source of the noise, the grip on her knife tightening. As she creeps up, she sees the door of her room half opened, a hooded figure standing by her bed with their back facing her. 

Bea stealthily sneaks up to the figure placing the knife a few inches from their throat before lowering her voice to a threatening tone, “who are you and what the fuck are you doing?” The figure gasps, dropping a bag that’s in their hands with a deafening thud before raising their hands in a sign of surrender. 

“It’s me, it’s me,” the voice whimpers out. 

“AJ?” Bea raises her eyebrows, retracting the knife from his throat while pulling down his hood with her other hand. “What the fuck are you doing?” Bea takes a step back while AJ scrambles grabbing the bag he just dropped moments before. When he turns to face Bea, his eyes are wide, filled with fear as he clutches the bag closely to his chest. 

“I have to go,” he says as he attempts to run out of the room, but Bea pulls him back, her face crumpled in suspicion. 

“No we’re not doing this, give me the bag now,” Bea snatches the bag out of his hands before he can protest and opens the zipper to find it filled with cash. She grits her teeth, anger settling into her features as she whips her head up to AJ, “is this my fucking money?” 

“Bea, I- I can explain-” 

“What the fuck AJ!” Bea throws the bag onto the bed, the cash spilling out as she jabs an accusing finger at AJ’s chest. “You’re stealing from me now? I haven’t seen you in god knows how long, you don’t call, text nothing. Even after everything that’s been happening in the last few weeks but you have the audacity to fucking steal from me? Money that I’ve spent years saving? Money that I’ve bussed my fucking ass off for, are you serious right now?” Bea’s voice is filled with rage as she’s practically screaming, her voice now thundering. AJ winces, guiltily averting his gaze to the ground, unable to meet Bea’s eyes. 

“I’m sorry about your mom Bea, I wanted to visit-” AJ croaks out.

“But you didn’t,” Bea interjects, her voice lowered but filled with hurt. “And now you’re taking money- I mean what is so important you had to steal from me.” 

AJ paces towards the bed, hanging his head in shame, when he speaks his voice is quiet, full of fear, “I’m in some bad shit Bea. These guys aren’t playing around.” 

“I told you not to fall into the wrong crowd, I warned you this shit would happen.” 

“Bea please, I’ll pay you back I just need it.” 

“No! What the fuck, when will you pay me back huh? This is my college money, I’m not letting you give that away to your crackhead friends.” 

“Bea please,” AJ clasps his hands together, his tone pleading, “I don’t know what to do.” 

“AJ I have too much shit on my plate right now, I can’t deal with this. You need to find something else, I can’t help you.” 

AJ’s face pales but he stands up, and makes his way towards the door, before leaving he turns to look back at Bea, “I’m sorry about everything.” 

Bea keeps her eyes trained on her bed where the money is sprawled all over the mattress, “yeah me too,” she replies quietly. Bea hears the front door close and she collapses to the ground, letting the tears flow. 

……

A few days later, Bea sits in her dark living room, curtains shut and lights completely off as she wallows in her sadness, drinking from a bottle of cheap beer, as she stares absentmindedly at the ceiling, so drowned in her thoughts she doesn’t hear the resounding knocks on her door until she hears a voice call out, “Bea! Are you there?” 

Bea crumples her brows, forcing herself to stand as she makes her way to the door, she wearily makes her way to her front door only slightly opening the door before poking her head out. “Veronica?” Veronica gives the girl a wide smile before pushing the door more open, ushering the figure behind her into the house too, “Carter? What are you guys doing here?’ 

Veronica looks around the dark room, noticing the pile of empty beer bottles on the floor, “yikes, drinking on your own on a friday night Hughes? That’s really sad.” Carter stands near the edge of the living room, as if he’s an explorer, his eyes darting all over the living room as he assesses this new environment. 

Bea on the other hand scowls at Veronica, “what the hell do you want Veronica, I’m not in the mood.” 

Veronica frowns slightly, pouting her lips together, “we heard about you and Poppy.” 

Bea rolls her eyes, “yeah well I’m trying to forget about her.” Bea picks up her beer bottle from the ground and makes a show by exaggeratingly drinking from the bottle until it's empty. She discards the empty bottle along with the other ones before turning to look at Veronica and Carter, “so if you’ll excuse me.” 

Veronica steps towards Bea, wrapping her hand around the brunette’s arm, “we’re not here for Poppy stupid, we’re here for you.” 

Bea raises an eyebrow, “for me?” 

Veronica turns to look at Carter, beckoning him forward, Carter breaks out of reverie and clears his throat, “yeah uh, we wanted to take you to a party.” 

“A party?” Bea looks between them confused, “I’m not that interested guys.”

“Wait, wait, wait Bea,” Veronica pleads, pulling Bea closer to her, “you’ve never been to a Belvoire party and the year is almost over, we thought we should take you to at least.” 

“I don’t know guys,” Bea says skeptically, “a lot of people don’t like me.” 

“Who gives a shit? You just had your heart broken and you need to let loose.” 

Bea sighs, pulling away from Veronica, “I don’t think it’s a good idea.” 

“Come on, it beats drinking in the dark on your own.” 

Bea sighs, dropping her shoulders, “what about uh Poppy?” 

“Poppy?” Veronica arches a brow, “her and Chloe are staying in tonight, she said she needed to catch up on homework or something.” 

Bea purses her lips together in thought before sighing,  “fine.” Veronica cheers, “but,” Bea over enunciates, “only for a few hours and if I don’t like it I’m going home.” 

“Okay, deal,” Veronica squeals, wrapping Bea in a big hug. Carter chuckles as Veronica gestures for him to join the hug, he awkwardly wraps his arms around the two girls, before pulling away. 

“Okay, I’ll wait in the car while you girls get ready. Just uh don’t take too long.”

Veronica playfully rolls her eyes as she Bea towards her bedroom, yelling back “thanks Carter.” Giddy, she rushes to Bea’s closest, assessing her clothes until she finds a short red dress hidden in the back. “This!” 

“No, no, no,” Bea shakes her head, pulling the dress out of the ombre-haired girl’s hands. 

“Why not? It would look so hot on you,” Veronica’s eyes trail down Bea’s body, as she sharply inhales. “Bea, you’re single and sexy, stop holding yourself back okay?” 

“I’m not,” Bea pushes back defensively, “I just-” she sighs heavily, “no one at Belvoire has ever seen me dressed up, I’m just- I’m nervous I guess.” 

“Then we have to show them what they’ve been missing for the last three years,” Veronica gives Bea a devilish smile as she takes the dress from Bea’s hands, sliding the dress off the hanger before handing it over to Bea. 

“Uh you gonna stay in the room?” Bea nervously wrings her hands together. 

“Why, are you offering a show?” Veronica lifts a teasing brow, noticing Bea’s cheeks redden slightly, which prompts her to let out a small laugh, “I’m kidding, don’t worry I won’t look.” Veronica makes a show of raising her hands to cover her eyes. Bea laughs as she slips out of her clothes and into the dress, she awkwardly clears her throat, grabbing Veronica’s attention. 

“Hey, uh help a girl out with her zipper?” 

“Sure,” Veronica moves to stand behind Bea, her hands ghosting around Bea’s exposed back, her breath momentarily taken away. She sturdies herself and places one of her hands on the small of the brunette’s back while the other moves towards the zipper, zipping the girl up. Bea smooths the dress down with her hands appreciating herself in the mirror, “you look gorgeous,” Veronica whispers into the shell of her ear. 

Bea’s face completely flushes red and slightly jerks at Veronica’s admission, “uhh thanks.” 

Veronica notices the awkward shift in the atmosphere, and promptly changes the subject, “so where’s your sister?” 

Bea sits in front of her mirror, a comb in her hand as she brushes her long locks, “she’s staying at a friend’s tonight.” 

“Cool,” Veronica answers back but her tone falls flat. The girls bask in the awkward silence as Bea continues to get ready but when Veronica notices Bea struggling to do her winged eyeliner she breaks the silence. “Hey do you need help?” 

Bea smiles bashfully, “yeah.” She rubs the back of her head with her hand, “sorry Poppy used to help me with my makeup.” 

“Right,” Veronica’s face slightly falls but she quickly covers it up, ushering Bea to come and sit on the bed. “Come on, I don’t bite,” Veronica bites the bottom of her lip, “unless you want me too.” Bea laughs but obliges sitting on the edge of the bed. Veronica clambers onto her lap, her thighs settling on the sides of Bea’s legs, and in response, Bea’s eyes widen in surprise but she remains glued in her spot, too shocked to move. 

“V, what are you doing?” Bea whispers, her voice attempting to come across as reprimanding but it comes out as breathy. 

“Relax, I’m just doing your eyeliner.” Veronica plucks the wand from Bea’s hand and angles herself close to the brunette’s face, as she begins drawing on the wings on Bea’s eyelids. Bea steadies herself, as she feels the heat of Veronica’s body so close to hers and when Veronica is finished with putting the finishing touches on her eyelids, she hops off Bea’s lap, making her way towards the desk, scuffling through Bea’s makeup bag before taking up her place on Bea’s lap once again. “Now I think this colour would look good on you,” 

“You don’t think it’s too much red?” 

“Oh babe, red means power, dominance, you don’t wanna be thinking about Poppy the entire night, you wanna have all eyes on you Bea Hughes.” Veronica uncaps the lipstick, her eyes burning into Bea’s lips as she carefully applies the red colour to her lips. “Perfect.” 

Bea smacks her lips together, evenly spreading the red on her lips. “Thanks V.” 

Veronica’s eyes dart to Bea’s lips, her tongue slightly running along her bottom lips before she breaks out of her reverie flashing Bea a smirk, “don’t thank me yet, thank me when you’re having the time of your life at the party.” Veronica slides off Bea’s lap, holding her hand out, “come on let’s finish up because Carter’s been waiting for a while.” Bea smiles up at Veronica, taking her hand as she lets the ombre-haired girl pull her off the bed, as they continue getting ready. 

………

Once they arrive at the party, Carter drops the girls off at the front of the huge house before telling them he will park the car. Veronica’s gaze darts to Bea, who’s nervously toying with her hands, looking up at the intimidating house, the lights blaring and as the music echoes throughout, the bass thumping in their ears. Noticing the nerves settling into her, Veronica slips into Bea's, giving her a reassuring squeeze, “hey, it’s okay, it’s just a bunch of drunk, preppy uptight teenagers, nothing you don't usually face everyday.” 

Bea lets out a small laugh, “just in a big ass house,” she jests. 

“Yeah, just in a big ass house,” she gives Bea a light squeeze as she starts pulling Bea into the house with her. Automatically, they’re met with stares and whispers, as the students look astonished at Bea, some appraising her outfit, while others are confused about her presence. “Hey, just stay with me okay?” Veronica whispers over to Bea. Bea nods, her eyes roaming the room. “I’ll get us drinks.” The ombre-haired girl gives Bea a reassuring pat on her arm and leaves her side and Bea walks into the living room, observing the difference between the vibes of the party between the north and the south. Her thoughts then move to think about Poppy, how Poppy would love going to parties in the north but Bea couldn’t find the appeal in it. Poppy. Poppy, who broke up with her. She’s interrupted from her thoughts by a tap of her shoulder, and Bea turns around to see Veronica offering her a red solo cup, Bea takes a sip and winces. 

“What the hell is this crap?” 

“Yeah for a bunch of rich kids, their taste in beer isn’t the best,” Veronica jokes, slightly nudging Bea. 

“We have way better beer in the south side.” 

“That I can agree with.” Veronica looks over to Bea who looks lost in thought, “hey what are you thinking about?” 

Bea sighs heavily, “Poppy,” she mutters. 

Veronica nods once, “right, yeah.” 

“Poppy would’ve loved a party like this, big fancy house an-” 

“Bea,” Veronica says, her tone slightly agitated, “this,” she gestures around the room, “is a no Poppy zone. That means we don’t think about Poppy, only about fun.” 

Bea nods, “fun. I can do that.” Veronica lifts her cup in the air, “what are we cheering to?” 

Veronica gives Bea a smile, “here’s to the first steps in moving on.” The girls tap their cups together before downing their drinks. “Now if we wanna get drunk, we’re gonna need a lot more of these.” 

The party is still ongoing, and Bea sits in a circle with a few girls from the volleyball team and a few of the football team and other people she doesn’t recognise while Veronica sits beside her. 

“Bea you look so pretty,” one of her teammates says. 

“Yeah Bea your makeup is literally gorgeous,” another chimes in. 

“Who knew strip tease can clean up well,” Ford jests, but Bea slumps her shoulders a little, remembering that these people are not her friends. 

Carter enters the circle slapping Ford on the head as he goes, “shut up, Hughes is cool.” Bea gives Carter a nod of appreciation before looking down at the drink in her hands. Her thoughts move a million miles a minute, but there’s a constant one stuck in her brain, Poppy.

Veronica looks over at Bea, frowning. “Hey come with me.” She stands, excusing herself from the group and Bea follows her close behind. 

“Where are we going?” 

“We’re gonna play a private game of truth or drink.” 

[mikuhats]

ok sending this here because im too much of a pussy to leave a reply under ur twitter but omg a sister location enjoyer !! ive always wanted to play the game but rarely see anyone talk about it so id live to hear what u love about it ^_^

OMGG !! ok Ok i have a lot. i love the game soo much. (WILL PUT UNDER THE CUT BC ITS A LOT)

ok so like Outside of the actual game, Sister Location was like the First FNAF game I'd watched and really enjoyed since like.. FNAF 2.. so just in general i love it for that kind of reason! it reignited the interest in FNAF I had when i was younger ^_^

into the actual gameplay and mechanics I genuinely think it's rly great. it felt soo different from the previous 4 fnaf games (without feeling like it didnt belong in the series) and even with security breach out I think sister location still remains one of the best change in formula FNAF has had (even if im biased cos its my fav game LOL)

so like first and foremost is the change in cast! while freddy is in the game, he's no longer the mascot or main antagonist for this one. characters like chica are no where to be found, and bonnie is just a little hand puppet. circus baby is the new mascot and she's the main antagonist (though she isn't introduced as such the way every other mascot of the previous 4 fnaf games were). then we have ballora, funtime freddy (ft bonbon), and funtime foxy. the cast manages to have familiar characters from previous games so you don't feel completely unattached to the new cast, while still introducing entirely new characters like Baby and Ballora! I think that definitely is smthing intentional and smthing meant to intrigue you about these new characters. (This is something Security Breach does as well, though I think executed a bit less well, but that could just be me cause everyone really loves Monty and Roxy!)

next is the general aesthetic and designs of the characters, i LOVE IT... they're all designed after different kinds of performers (circus baby a clown+singer, ballora a ballet dancer, funtime freddy a puppeteer, and funtime foxy im not entirely sure? but hes Definitely an entertainer) unlike the original 3 (excluding foxy bc I don't rly consider him apart of the band) who are obviously meant to just be members of a band, the sister location cast covers a whole variety of things for kids to enjoy. i think it adds a lot to what the sister location was Supposed to be before inevitably closing down and the animatronics becoming rentals.

the atmosphere of the game too I think is amazing. it starts with you in the rackety elevator with a funny AI to ease a bit of the tension. to then have to crawl thru a tight vent and hear a robotic voice mention a motion trigger being activated catches you off guard, and your first thought is Something Is In This Vent With Me. it's a really strong start to the game. the crawling in vents and having to navigate extremely dark rooms with the impending feeling you're going to mess it up and get jumpscared is RLY good to me. i think the atmosphere and the use of building tension is done rly well ! the only other fnaf game i would say builds a similar tension is help wanted or maybe security breach with the endoskeletons. it's smthing i really wish the game series did more, instead of making you do tasks so you DON'T get jumpscared, the idea that you don't know when or how you'll get jumpscared definitely adds to the atmosphere to me.

and then to continue i also rly love the scary mechanics of the game. again, navigating a dark room and all you can do is listen for when ballora is close to you is scary the first time you play! having the keep the door closed from bidybab who is trying very hard to open it freaks me out CONSISTENTLY. being in a springlock suit where you have to wiggle to keep the minireenas off you, but still having to keep the springlocks from bursting and giving you a game over is Insane (though also it can end up being more frustrating than scary LOL). trying to get to parts and service thru funtime auditorium where all you can do is take quick flashes and occasionally see funtime foxy get unnervingly closer to you. its crazy. i love it. i think the scares r rly good in this game. i dont think its like the BEST part, but its smthing that i like in comparison to the rest of the series, so i figured i'd add it.

THIS IS ALREADY SUPER LONG SO INSTEAD OF LIKE 5 MORE PARAGRAPHS ILL KEEP THE REST A BIT SHORT

one of the biggest reasons i love the game is circus baby! shes my favorite animatronic and I genuinely think she is such a good balance between unnerving and cute. i love her design i personally think shes adorable and i LOVE her voice. her voice actress did such an Amazing job with baby's voice, bc it's so soft and quiet and to me it scratches a itch in my brain and is calming, but to others it's genuinely creepy. i love circus baby's personality bc she is such a weirdgirl too. Lets just say if fnaf was real and i was born in the 1980s i'd probably have been the first kid to die to her and not elizabeth. i adoreee circus baby.

last but not least (bc this is so long) is the Lore . oh my god the lore in this game is so good. a lot of people think FFPS has the most lore dump, but tbh I think it's sister location. sister location not only formally introduces elizabeth afton into the story, (She might be in the books before this game came out, idk, but it formally introduces her into the Game Canon at least.) it's the game that solidifies michael and william as two separate people. before the game came out it was heavily believed michael and william were the same, and with the SL custom night cutscenes it only really added to that. with the SL custom night golden freddy mode ending where you Hear Michael Talk To His Father it put such a different twist on the story. Ntm we find out that william owned a establishment separated from the Fazbear restaurant(s) with henry and could independently make animatronics. SL told us a LOT about the afton family, and it's smthing i genuinely love ab the game compared to others.

theres still SO MUCH i love ab the game, i havent even mentioned ennard once, theres just so much. (i also barely even touched on gameplay!?!?!?) but ive already written like several paragraphs. its such a wonderful game and installment into the series to me!!!!! i wish it was more popular!!!!!!! bc its SO good!!!!!!

[willpowers]

I know its 2021 and I havent written for death note since 2007 but like, ive been up all night so here meronia fandom, no more lurking in the reblogs lol

Rated T for swearing and like, implied possibility of nsfw?

Drabble 1

With the soft click of his door, Near let out a soft sigh.

Kira was unmasked and defeated, he had won.

No.

They had won.

His hand instantly went to his neck, almost on instinct by now, and held the cheaply made beads and wooden red cross he hid under his shirt.

Near had never been religious, and he knew these beads were just symbolic, the first one he could buy at midnight on that night, when grief kept him up and walking through the unexplored city, needing something tangible. So he could deny.

Denial was normal.

This... Was normal.

He winced slightly as the cheap wood splintered a bit, poking his pale finger. He let go of the effigy and held his still clenched hand at his side.

What would he do now?

Logically, he knew. He was L.

“Nate River” died with the man named Lawliet. Died with the thunderous slamming of the orphanage door that a 14 year old boy should not have been able to make.

L.

“Near” was dead now too.

Died with that man. Light Yagami.

So L he was.

A predictable future for a perfect boy whose only flaw was not worshipping a strange adult who came to visit. His apathy, which before gave him freedom, was the final bar in this jail cell of a title.

Did he enjoy being a detective? Probably, in some way. The battle against Kira thrilled him.

No, it wasn’t the one against Kira that kept his attention.

He reached into his pocket, pulling out the puppets. He let them all fall to the ground. One by one, their tiny rubber bodies bounced a bit. There was L, first dead. Near never cared for him much. Took him five minutes to throw together something of a resemblance.

There was Kira. Honestly he was thinking about the hamburgler for this one. Petty killer with petty burger thief. Fitting.

Then Misa... Mikami... The others. Names he couldnt wait to just file away in some police report and forget about.

Then himself.

The white puppet, which he didn’t put too much energy into, but still made look a bit like him. He was simple. Monochromatic and bored.

Then him. He picked up the blonde puppet carefully, remembering how it took all night to get it right. He painted every detail he remembered from their one meeting at the headquarters. From every hidden camera quick shot of the man who was as bright as he was loud.

He couldn’t bear to even think his name.

Near picked up the puppet of him, putting them in their usual spots on his index and middle fingers. He would enjoy the thought of being on Nears middle finger. He was vulgar enough to.

He stared at them, and stood up. They needed a better home. The puppets didn’t have to be thrown away, like the real counterparts. Near opened his best toy chest, one he put his favorite toys into, and laid the two puppets, side by side. He put the blonde puppet slightly higher than the white one. A little victory. One the real man couldn’t claim by his side.

Near closed the toy chest, then looked back around his room. His toys were scattered, dice piled high, and cards strewn about.

The sight disgusted him.

It looked so... Normal.

He kicked over the dice, letting the clatter as they fall echo through the silent room. Kneeling down, he picked up the finished puzzles and dumped them out, one after the other. Their perfect completion being ruined by the destruction, and wet by the falling tears the boy didn’t even know he was capable to make.

Near knelt in the middle of his mess and grit his teeth, letting more of those rare droplets fall, tainting all his toys.

Why did such a win feel like such a loss? Like it had no meaning? He always did what was told. Kept quiet, did well on tests, become a detective. Catch Kira. Save the day. Save the world.

But he didn’t care at all. He had only loved one thing in his life, and in the process of fulfilling his duty... Their duty... He lost him.

Taking in a shaky breath, Near picked up the toys and pieces of puzzle and dice and cards and put them in his bigger chest. He took his time. He usually had the others do this for him, but he hated the person who was reliant on everyone to do everything. That man fucked up. He was foolish. He could die along with the rest of the casualties.

At one point, he heard his door open. He mentally chastised himself for forgetting to lock it.

“I thought I requested the night alone.” He said sternly, trying to not let his emotions show.

However, he got no response, only footsteps closer.

Footsteps with a heavy walk that none of his associates used.

Footsteps that should be six feet under.

Hallucination wasn’t one of the stages of grief. And it wasn’t on his agenda. He bit his lip, not sure what to think about. He didnt want to turn around. If he was wrong about who it was...

So he put more toys away. Methodically putting away robot after robot.

Soon another hand joined him. Taking a stuffed sheep and tossing it on the bed.

Only one person would know that goes there.

He reached for another toy. But hesitated. His mind was racing, trying to put together the puzzle. Figure out what was real. What was a lie.

A charred, bandaged hand grabbed the toy and put it away.

“Are you going to ignore me forever, or just until your toys are away.”

Near’s breath hitched a bit, the voice was deeper, damaged, but unmistakable.

He finally looked behind him, eyes a bit wider than usual, but still doing his best not to show his emotions. He had to have some cards left in his hand, for whatever game this was.

He looked like shit.

His hair was uneven and singed, his scar had gotten deeper and he could tell from the bandages he got more scars in new places. If he was here, he had to have survived a gasoline based truck fire.

He had to have survived the Death Note.

The man smirked.

“Sorry to interrupt your pity party, but it just so happened a kidnapped girl under immense pressure couldn’t accurately write a slavic name.”

Near stood up, walking over and gently touching his scar. He felt the other recoil, but he couldn’t care less.

He pressed harder, and earned a wince. He felt the warmth, a bit of blood from the wound staining his pale white fingers.

Blood.

Fresh blood.

He was alive.

“Mihael.” He said, under his breath, only able to be heard by the man before him.

He stepped closer. He pressed a hand on his chest, felt his heartbeat. He closed his eyes and counted... Steady, not in danger. Warm, quickening?

Near closed his fist a bit, gripping the leather under his palm. His fingernails would leave marks. But he could mark him. He was here to mark.

“Mihael...” He said, slightly louder. A reminder to himself.

Mihael snorted. “What, did you just remember it?” He said, a bit of a flush on his pale face. He could flush. He was blushing.

Near gripped his collar roughly, pulling him down and pressing his still lips to the others. It was awkward and obviously full of inexperience.

He felt the other snort, and could imagine him rolling his eyes. Probably savoring that he was going to obviously beat him at this. Near could care less.

The blonde held his face and tilted it into a proper kiss.

Ah.

This was actually a lot better.

Near kept the contact, using the new angle to press further against him, closing his eyes now, like he figured he was supposed to do. He was out of his depth here. There was no swell of orchestra or butterflies in his digestive system... But it was enough.

He pulled back, looking at him proper now. They were still holding each other, Near by his face and Mihael by his collar.

“Youre not better than me. For kissing me first.” He said, an uncomfortable look on his beet red face.

“I never claimed to be.” Was his response. “About anything. That was you.”

Mihael glared. “Stop it. Stop saying that. Not... now.” He looked down. It seemed Near wasn’t the only one feeling a lost sense of something.

Near looked at him and pulled back, taking him by the hand and pulling him towards the bed.

“Prove youre better then. Unless you accept defeat..” He said, a coy grin creeping onto his face.

Mello went with him, smiling.

Nothing was solved, pieces weren’t clicked together in a perfect fit, the world didn’t suddenly make sense, and neither of them had a plan. However, they had a start.

And it looked promising.

[sainadazai]

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch.4

I wanna be an intern too, you ragedy ann looking ass hoe 😠



Y/n pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

All goes well when you are ignorant is what my dear best friend would say to me now, as I sit in the very back of the class unfocused on how our teacher is introducing an activity I have no chance of participating in. All I knew was that when Mr. Aizawa walked up to the board and wrote names of people getting offers, I wasn't one of them. Not that I expected to be, considering I wasn't in the sports festival, let alone the school at all back then. 

However, I did notice a small inconsistency in the order of the most offers. I was pretty sure that boom boom had gotten first place in the festival, him being there is what convinced me to transfer, but his name was actually second on the board. 

Todoroki had taken the place of first as far as offers were concerned. Todoroki the nice boy who I used to meet when I snuck away from my fucking prison cell. Call me privileged for complaining about living in a mansion All my life, but I much prefer being here. With common folk. They ground me. 

I peeked up from my phone at the red and white head of hair in front of me, he didn't seem all that fazed. Although maybe it was just the lack of seeing his face that made me believe he couldn't care less about all but one of those offers. Still, his business is his, and my business is the new Ao3 update on my favorite chrollo lucilfer fanfiction. What a babe. 

I decided that the class as of right now would be of no importance to me, considering I will have no offers, and bakugou-the reason I came here- hates me like I'm a piece of gum stuck under his shoe.  Through that conclusion I allowed myself to dissolve into the world of hxh and forget about how boring this world is. 

Could my power beat Killua or go in a fight? I mean, it doesn't enhance my strength like they did trying to get into Killua's house so physically they must be stronger. 

"Y/n! Is there something you would like to share with the class?"

Mr.Aizawas voice seemed almost shot at me as my gaze rose from my phone in my lap to meet him at the front of the room. He looked displeased to say the least. Well good for him, im displeased too, I might not be able to beat a fucking twelve year old in combat. 

"Huh?"

"You were grumbling, what's so important you had to tell us, hm?"

I thought it through for a second- just kidding, I never think anything through. 

"Oh, well I wasn't sure if I could beat Gon in a fight, but I'm not coming to the realization that if Chrollo is my boyfriend, I shouldn't have to fight anyone at all. I can just be a pretty face in the backgrounds and then after he wins for me i'll suck his-"

"Enough, y/n." Mr.Aizawa no longer held a tired looking face, his eyes were wide and an uncomfortable cringed was set on his face. As I peered at the rest of the class many also had shocked eyes, but unlike our teacher, held faint blushes. 

Minus midoriya, his face was completely red and his eyes void of life. I must've killed him, huh. 

"Wait!"

In an attempt to regain some dignity, I tried to correct myself.

"I would....not suck his-?"

"Don't even say it, shitty princess !"

"Woah bakugou, you spoke to me on purpose!?"

"Shut up!"

"Hey, how come you call me princess, you like me or something?"

He growled at that, neither of us paying mind to the fact that everyone in the class was either dead from nosebleeds or extremely uncomfortable and staring at us.  

"Its cuz you act fucking entitled like a princess"

"I'll be your pillow princes-"

"Enough!" A robotic-like hand sliced the air in front of me. The voice sounded firm, almost more teacher-like than our teacher's voice. I followed my gaze up the hand, not failing to notice how as I drew up the guy's arm his muscles only seemed to get bigger and bigger and- iida? 

"Oh class rep-"

"Y/n this vulgar language and border-line harassment needs to cease immediately. I will not tolerante overtly sexual language and acts in this class-"

As he was speaking I noticed something ironic about the situation. If everyone here didn't like sexual jokes or banter, how were they so flustered at comments that objectively should be unknown to them. 

"How did you know what I meant, iida?" I rasped in a low sultry voice, allowing my fingers to dance up his arm starting at the wrist in front of my face. 

I heard a few chuckles from, who I would say are the only two people enjoying this situation: kaminari and...stinky mineta. Iida's face grew more red than previously and the arms in front of me began shaking. 

"Mr.Aizawa it seems I've disarmed the robot. Is there a restart button or something?" I question with a serious face using the search as an excuse to wonder my eyes all over his body. Perverted? Yes. Rightfully attracted to this giant hunk of a nerd. Yes ×10. 

"No, there is not." Todoroki, who was in front of me, finally turned around to address me. I guess he was unfazed by my words. Looks like someone here can be cool. Whether he is okay because he is more comfortable with sexual jokes, or because he has yet to pick up on them, its nice that somebody in here can still function. Otherwise, I'd feel like a nuisance. 

"Y/n I'm not really sure how to- let's just say to have detention with your m- midnight. Detention. Yeah." Aizawa publicly convinced himself of my punishment? 

"Okay"

"Now, back to this, even if you didn't get any offers ALL of you will have an internship" 

And so went on the class, kids chose their hero names, not me though. I wasn't even sure I wanted to be a hero at all, this was just a little less boring and sad than the way I lived before. This school had people who laughed in joy, not just to mask the pain. That was the real benefit, not being a hero, or being strong. Likely no one here realized that there were many places where none of this joy was possible. 

Some of the kids in class gave me suggestions for a hero name, but I didn't like them anyway. They lacked personality, and while I have many adjectives to describe my personality, my life, none of them are all that heroic. 

"Dark element"

"Girl who will die if her quirk doesnt like its environment" 

See, I'm not the best at this. Even bakugan names had some sense to it...well no. I'd say we're about the same, but still. Ugh. 

~timeskip~ 

Bakugou pov 😠

She came up with no hero names. Fucking entitled brat. Everyone at this lunch table seems to have no problem with the fact that she is here, just happy to have another pair of tits to stare at like perverts. Their gross. I bet she doesn't even want to be a hero, she sure as hell doesn't act like it. We don't even know what her whole quirk is. Ive seen her do that plant shit a couple times, fucking with flowers or whatever. Still, there's more to it. Something we don't know, at least. Cuz in the middle of class she gets up and whispers to Aizawa and he just lets her go. Where the fuck does she go? 

Interrupts class, got into the school because her moms a teacher, won't use her quirk. What a nuisance, I can't believe she is not expelled yet. Plus those bullshit sex jokes are so shitty. She is obviously faking something when she does them. Not like midnight, who always at least seems like she means that gross shit. 

"Hey, who did you guys choose for your internship? I haven't chosen yet."

"The number three hero guy," I spoke, knowing I'm the only person here who already chose. 

"Really? Best jeanist! That's so cool, but are you sure that for you bakugou?" Shitty hair raised a shitty brow at me. 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?"

"Just that he seems pretty...uptight..for you?" Dunceface added, but he spoke like it was a question. Of course he is the hero for me, he is the highest ranting hero on my list. If I wanna be number one, I gotta train with the best. 

If I go to his agency I'm sure there will be a lot more action, since he is so high ranking. Then i'll get some real experience kicking villain ass, well, other than the USJ. 

"Of course he is the right option!"

"Woahhh~"

Shit. It's her voice. I honestly should applaud her for using it less often around me but, how can one small girl be so goddamn annoying. I don't even know what she has to say and I already wish she would just put a sock in it. How can someone so entitled like her, probably never had to lift a finger, walk  over here and talk like she has something to say. 

"You're working with the best jeanist! So cool, one time he saved me from a group of rapist guys, it was awesome with all these strings everywhere and I could only see half of his face. Oh and he had goofy hair too!"

Oh. I didn't really know how to respond to the girl who looked so excited about almost being violated. Another thing wrong with her? I looked back at the other people at the table to see if they knew how to respond to something like that. 

Dunceface was frozen, tape arms were frozen, shitty hair was frozen, and alíen eyes were looking like a lost puppy and trying not to cry. 

It didnt seem like the shutty princess was exactly understanding how what she just yelled was making things weird. She just stood there expectantly. She kinda looked like she thought being raped was something that must happen to everyone. Did she think that? Wouldn't put it past her weird ass. 

"Uhm...anyways, i'm sure you'll do awesome, he likes to put boys in tight jeans. Wish I could intern too, I'd love to see that boom boom~" she winked. 

A perverted joke...and then she had the audacity to wink at me. 

"You wish you could see me in tight jeans, shitty extra!"

"I know...thats what a I just said." She dead panned, blinking a couple times at me. 

"Tch, screw you!"

"I would-" 

"Can it, i don't wanna hear your shitty voice anymore"

The girl stopped herself after my words, pushing all her hair behind her head, except for the two blond stands in the front. 

(You don't have to acknowledge these if you don't want, but I made it so that they change color depending on what element your using and I thought it was hot*if you have short hair, then you just got a lil nishinoya type thing 🥰)

Lifted her obnoxious hands that moved around while she talked and made a zipper-like motion over her lips. Then she just stood there looking at me. I really wanted to just let her stand there and go back to eating. Ignore her completely and let her hope fizzle out and die or something like that. 

Yet here I am, still looking at her. Silently. Wishing she made a stupid joke so that I could stop flickering between those images I'd seen of her dancing. How even though ballet is a princess fucking dance, the pictures felt nice. Like if I was watching it live I would probably be unable to criticize it. That pissed me off, because I want to hate everything about her, but I can't hate those photos. Where she looks like she is flying, without any need for a quirk.

I see her in that weird gown, and now, in the UA uniform. I see her looking respectable, formal, and serious. Then I see her stupid little smirk as she takes pride in being able to shut up for more than a minute. 

"Why are you still standing there?"

Instead of answering, she took her hand up again, made a pinch with her fingers and unzipped her mouth. 

"I was enjoying the look in your eyes."she smiled. 

The look in my eyes? Could she tell I was seeing two different people? What the hell does that even mean? Even said it without that shitty flirt voice. Like she meant it. 

"You tryna make fun of me?"I stood up from the table to get in her face.

"Not right now, maybe later, I gotta do something." She smiled sincerely at me, for a second as she walked away, I forgot about how this conversation started. What a wierd fucking girl. I'll never respect her as a hero. Tch. (Yes, its canon he tchs even in his thoughts) 

3rd person POV 

Y/n briskly walked out of the cafeteria with a new goal in mind. She would come to remember how maybe being oblivious was a benefit in some ways, but for now, she had a clear plan .

"Mr.Aizawa, let me do an internship."

"You weren't in the festival, I can't just hand you to a hero who has no idea what you can do, y/n."

"Well, you know what I can do, right?"

"No. I'm not doing internships. Stop asking."

"That's not what I meant! You can just tell them, or I could, it's not that hard to explain. Just say i'm all- powerful or some play on words like 'she's got all the right elements' hehe, see how i mimicked your voice there?" Y/n grinned like a child. She was proud of herself. 

"No. Still not happening."

"I wanna be an intern too, you raggedy ann looking ass hoe" 

"Y/n, it doesn't make sense, insulting me to get what you want?"

"Maybe it doesn't, but I bet you feel real insecure about your hair right now."

"You already have detention, what more do you want!"

"An internship, I wanna do one with kamui Woods, I have a good reason, too. As far as my quirk control, i'm the weakest with earth, the aspect that allows me to grow and manipulate plants and stuff. That's why I've only been using that part of it all month. Im trying to get her up to speed so I can start using all four at once. He is like a tres guy, right? He manipulates earth all day long. He could teach me a lot, and that aspect of my quirk would suit his well. Please!?!?!?"

If the girl had just asked again in a normal way, his answer would have been the same. However Aizawa was taken aback to hear how much thought she put into this. From the stories of the teachers lounge, he came to understand her big life goal, was to rely fully on a rich man or woman, and do nothing at all forever. Just to try and forget about the terrible life she was destined to have because of that quirk.

This side of her was something he could not even her mother had seen, and it prompted him to speak those words she wanted to hear so badly.

"Fine." 

[parkersvibes]

finding out peter is spiderman

read part one here

a/n: omg guys. i got so much feedback from you all on part one so i decided to make a part 2. and yeahh i really hope you guys enjoy. if you do lmk and i’ll do a part 3 (:

(i also apologize if the read more doesnt work )))): )

warnings: fluff, a smidge on angst

pt 2. peter parker x stark!reader

• figuring out he was spiderman

• alright you’re a stark

• but no one knows that

• but you’re really intuitive

• so there were little things you started to notice

• after uncle ben died there was some weird shit (if you want a part ab comforting peter ab uncle ben lemme know. he deserves his own part)

• like how he stopped wearing his adorable glasses

•and i guess started almost bulking up????

• he got WAY taller

• and usually you’re used to seeing him shirtless but this one time you walked in on him

• holy mother of god

• IT WAS LIKE HE GREW ABS OVER NIGHT

• BECAUSE FRESHMAN PETE DID NOT HAVE A 6 PACK

• freshman peter also got winded walking up the stairs

• AND NOW HE’S RUNNING LAPS IN GYM LIKE ITS NOTHING ??

• must be nice

• but then things got more sus

• all of a sudden he was skipping class more

• leaving early

• cancelling study sessions and skipping movie nights with ned

• and you and ned were clueless

• you and ned started hanging out more

• MR. LEEDS IS HILARIOUS LEMME TELL YOU

• he was like this little ball of happiness

• you found out his real name is Edward

• HOW CUTE

• and WOW HIS MOM BEING FILIPINA MEANT THAT YOU WERE BEING FED ALL THE TIME OH MY GOD

• ngl pete got a bit jealous

• one night,,, when pete cancelled YET AGAIN

• ned asked you, “hey y/n?”

• “hm”

• “why don’t we ever hang out at your place”

• “i told you ned, my family is just a lot yanno. plus your family and may are really cool”

• “okay but how come you don’t have any social media under your name?”

• “wdym?”

• “like you go by ‘y/n Smith’ but everything that pops up on the internet isn’t YOU”

• “pfff i told you,,, i dont believe in that stuff”

• “y/n, you know you can tell me anything”

• you wanted to be honest. this was one of your best friends. and you’ve been lying to them about your family for over a year now

• “ned i just. it’s complicated”

• “like peter’s family?”

• “nonono, i’m lucky to have both of my parents- well i have a step mom. my real mom wanted nothing to do with me. so she left me on the steps of my dads house. never came back”

• “oh shit bro, i’m sorry”

• “nah don’t worry. my dad is really cool and my step mom... she’s awesome.”

• “what’re their names”

• NATASHA WAS GONNA KILL YOU IF SHE COULD SEE HOW BAD YOU WERE STRUGGLING

• “well- uh- my step moms name is,,, um. well her real name is Virginia”

• THE WORLD KNEW PEPPER AS PEPPER NOT VIRGINIA

• “and my- my dads name is ehm... st, steve???”

• natasha was gonna have your ass

• “y/n,,,”

• “yeah”

• “you’re a horrible liar”

• “PFFF WHAAAT? NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT”

• “dude you left your spiderman fan tumblr open on my laptop that one night,,, and i MAY have done some snooping”

• okay you mightve had a slight obsession with the webslinger. HE WAS COOL. and what better way to keep track of him without alerting your family,,, good ol tumblr

• oh god ned, HOW MUCH SNOOPING”

• “enough to know that you have a weird obsession with that spider guy and that your last name isnt smith”

• so you told him the truth. you were a stark

• and well,,, he reacted with

• “okay cmon,,, don’t lie”

• so you showed him your late night dance parties with Nat when she was feeling goofy

• and your random snaps of steve when he was trying to figure out how to work technology

• videos of you reacting to vines with bucky

(if yall wanna see domestic life with the avengers just lmk)

• which usually results with THE WINTER SOLDIER ALMOST PEEING HIS PANTS. and trying to reenact it with sam or the other avengers

• “heyheyehy y/n guess what?”

• “what bucky?” *is in the middle of doing hw*

• “FRESHOVACADO” *bolts out of the room before you throw something at him*

• only the two of you getting vine and meme references

• (meaning getting in trouble during meetings bc you’ll make eye contact and start laughing)

• OH HIS FAVORITE IS THE “country boiiii, i love you,,, 😛”

• anywaayyy

• ned was SHOOK

• “nowayohmygodyoureanavenger”

• “no ned,,, only when they need me to be”

• *led to him asking 100000 questions*

• “does Mr. America smell like old man”

• “what language does Ms. Widow think in”

• “how many shirts does Mr. Hulk own”

• “so do they wear normal clothes or are they always PREPARED”

• “does your dad have to walk a weird way when hes in his suit”

• “do they ever chafe in their suits”

• “yes ned. we’re stocked up on baby powder”

• which you didnt mind bc it felt nice telling the truth

• ned WANTED TO TELL PETER SO BAD

• “ned no, i don’t want him to think of me differently”

• he understood. but still defended peter and said that hed still treat you the same

• anyway,,, peter started showing up with bruises and stuff which had you v concerned

• “pete what’s up? you’ve been avoiding ned and i and you have skipped out on every movie night since sophomore year started”

• “t’s nothing. dont worry ab it”

• “peter cmon, it’s just me”

• you figured maybe it had to do with ben??? but you gave him his space. you just wanted to be there for him yanno. you didnt want him to shut you out

• “Y/N I SAID ITS NOTHING. FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN YOU LEAVE ME ALONE???” he snapped (and not in the good way)

• and this was on your way to class so the whole hallway heard

• ouch

• so you left him alone. probably more than he meant. but it hurt

• i mean he was your first friend here, and now he yelled at you to leave you alone

• ned felt awful at first. trying to comfort you and tell you it wasnt your fault

• but then he started acting weird. whenever you brought up peter hed be super antsy about it

• you- “i think he got into another fight or something”

• ned- “pFFT PETER? FIGHTING? no way,,, i got-i gotta go”

• so you figured that whatever peter was hiding, ned knew about,, which also hurt your feelings

• so you closed off

• and wow could the super family tell something was wrong

• wanda- “little stark, i can feel your sadness all the way to my room”

• sam/bucky/rhodes- “okay what’s the deal, we’ve played 5 rounds of fortnite and you havent once rage quit even though you’re doing terrible”

• tony- “kid, what’s wrong? everyone here can tell you’re not feeling great”

• nat- “cmon. ive given you 3 opportunities to kick my ass and you havent once complained about me going easy?”

• thor- “lady y/n what is causing you distress? not once have you smiled, i even wore my hair in pigtails,,, and that seems to always do the trick”

• and you gave the same response every time “‘m just tired” “lots of homework”

• they noticed you werent going out on weekends anymore

• so tony figured that your friend group and you were having some Stuff

• pep gave him an idea of meeting his new prodigy

• now tony knew it’d be kinda sus because peter went to midtown but he figured that if the kid kept his mask on it’d be fine

• “dad i don’t wanna see another one of your weird maid robots”

• “wha- no i want you to meet someone”

• “dad college isn’t for another 2 years. if it’s your friend from MIT-“

• then right before your eyes was the insect boy that youve been admiring through the internet

• needless to say

• your jaw dripped

• “y/n meet spiderling, spiderling meet my daughter y/n stark”

• *seconds pass*

• “i uh- oH- um- sp-spidERman, h-hi. biG fan of you- your work”

• *silence*

• you- “oH dad diD you hear th-that? moM is calling mE”

• tony- “what?? pep wouldve called on the interco-“

• spiderman- “y/n”

• you- SHOOK TO THE CORE BECAUSE YOU KNEW THAT VOICE. THAT WAS THE VOICE THAT SOUNDED LIKE HONEY BUT COULD CUT YOU DEEPER THAN ANY WEAPON IN YOUR HOUSE

• you- “p-peter???”

• tony- *shocked pikachu face* “you know each other???”

• you- “so-something like that yeah”

• peter takes off his mask

• “ohmygodpeterisspiderman”

• “ohmygodyourlastnameisntsmith”

• tony- “im gonna let you guys figure this out” *walks backward slowly*

*insert silence*

• you- “so this is what you were hiding, huh?” with a cold tone

• “IM HIDING? YOU LIED ABOUT YOUR WHOLE HOME LIFE TO NED AND I”

• *yelling at each other for another minute. even though you couldnt hear what the other is saying*

• you- *yelling loudest “I DIDNT WANT YOU TO SEE ME DIFFERENTLY OKAY”

• peter- “you really thought id do that?” (heartbreaking voice)

• you- “i- once i got to know you, i knew you wouldnt but i was scared. i didn’t know how to tell you. for once in my life i had found someone my age who liked ME for ME. not for my name or money or my dad. and i didn’t want to change that. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner”

• peter- “... i get what you mean. after ben died everyone gave me that look. except you and ned.”

• you- “why didn’t you tell me”

• peter- “everyone i love or ever cared about dies. my parents and then my uncle ben. so once i got my abilities i knew that the risk was even higher and i didn’t want to put you in that position. i wanted to keep you safe. but it seems like you know how to handle yourself” (referring to the fact that you grew up with THE EARTHS MIGHTIEST HEROS)

• y/n- “so how come ned found out?”

• peter *scratches back of neck* “well- he- i- May let him in my room and i happen to be crawling on the ceiling in my suit and he dropped the death star” *head hangs in shame*

• you had to giggle at that i mean CMON

• you stepped closer to him

• “pete you’re my best friend. you can tell me anything okay?”

• “no more secrets?”

• “no more secrets”

• and you both pinky promise and your thumbs “kiss” bc IF THEY ITS THE ULTIMATE UNBREAKABLE VOW DONT @ ME

• peter parker gives you the biggest hug that maKES YOUR HEART JUMP BC PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH A PERSON AS PRETTY AS HIM MAKES YOUR HEART FEEL A CERTAIN WAY

• but you wrapped your arms around his neck and enjoyed the moment

• wow he is really cozy

• * the avengers are watching from the cameras in awe*

• led to MANY questions at dinner

• and so everything went back to “normal”

• it wasn’t until you went to bed that night that you realized peter said the L word

• WHAT

• so much for no secrets

taglist: @silver-winter-wolf @emmmmszy @everythingaboutnothingsstuff @rexorangecouny @wishiwasanavenger @marjoherbo @nologinisoksothatsit @mindset-jupiter @hpnjrph @soup238

some favs/mutrals: @h-osterfield @starksparker @stuckonspidey @sunshinehollandd @keepingupwiththeparkers @hey-marlie @spyder-bites

[angrylizardjacket]

And All The Queen’s Men {Roger Taylor}

A/N: 5486 words. Okay wow. Please bare with me, this is a long one and also a bit of a different one. Written in the style of a Rolling Stone article. Finished it at 7am. Prompt & support from the lovely @ginghampearlsnsweettea

[And All The Queen’s Men ‘verse masterpost]

Warning: Minor character death, in both senses, it’s a baby, it’s not graphic it’s just mentioned, but just thought I should let you know.

And All The Queen’s Men: how the lines blurred between Queen and and the Queen of Jazz Rock.

An article almost two years in the making, after their last tour, which I was invited along to in order to write the initial article, the rock sensation Queen split, a decision, I am lead to be believe, was instigated by front man Freddie Mercury, and though Giselle Jones had continued to make music, even before her very public, on-stage breakdown, her lawyers had me keep the article to myself. Now, with the band’s reunion, and Live Aid having been a massive success with both powerhouse musical names coming back into the public eye, I’ve invited them back to my office for one last interview, but mostly to beg them to let me publish this article.

Which, obviously, they allowed.

It’s 1985, and with them all sitting in front of me, I feel a sense of deja vu. There are some changes, of course, Roger Taylor’s hair is shorter, Giselle Jones is wearing jeans and a sweater rather than her well-known cocktail dress, but John Deacon’s still smiling at me, Brian’s looking about the room, perhaps seeing if anything’s changed, and Freddie Mercury’s draped casually on the left of the only non-Queen member of the bunch. 

But before I get into the past two years, maybe I should take you back a bit, to when Giselle and Queen began collaborating.

Giselle Jones began in the late sixties as the front-woman of a swing band in a thirties theme pub known as Modern Glamour. Tall, elegant, with a voice like honey, she had a small following of regulars that frequented the pub, but had kept her passion from music from her family, claiming she was merely a waitress at the establishment, since her father was an executive at EMI, and she didn’t want to seem like the subject of nepotism.

However, one fateful day, her father brings music industry giant to the pub for lunch, hoping to catch Giselle at work and introduce her, but as you know, they both got a lot more than they bargained for. Foster sees potential in her, and offers her a contract if she’s willing to modernise her act, and as we all know, she does.

When Giselle releases her first album in 1970, Velvet Roses, which would be the first and only “Jazz” record to hit the Top 40 charts for that year, Queen are still playing pub gigs around London, though they’re looking at recording their first album, which would eventually get EMI’s attention, but that’s still not for a while. At this point, they’re the biggest fish in a very small uni-pub pond, and they need the means to grow. So out goes the band’s van, for one night in a recording studio.

“Like, in retrospect, of course it was the right decision.” Taylor leans against the back of the sofa he’s sitting on in my office in 1982, voice contemplative and fingers locked together as he looks into the past. “But I was twenty-two at the time, selling my van was a big deal.”

“A big enough deal that you wrote a song about it.” Giselle adds, sitting beside him in the middle of the sofa. Deacon hides a smile though May doesn’t hide his snort of laughter. 

The smirked remark is at odds with her look. While the boys are all in various states of brightly patterned shirts and jeans, looking casual and comfortable; Giselle wears white, sequinned, off-the-shoulder gown that hugs her figure and hits the floor, a slit in the thigh where her leg crosses, dark skin a stunning contrast to both the white fabric of her dress, and the leather of my sofa. Hands folded in over her knee, there’s not a singular hair out of place where she’s got it slicked back; I can’t look at her directly, she’s so focused and well put-together that it’s like staring at the sun.

The contrast has always been apparent in their various works, though Mercury has, in the past, cited her as an early inspiration for his desire to add a certain classical gravitas to rock and roll, and though she hasn’t publicly stated anything, the amount of covers Giselle has performed lived could fill an album. And now, here they are, about leave for a double-billed tour of the US, which I have been asked to join.

But their connection goes back much further than this, all the way back to 1975, to the release of the smash-hit single Bohemian Rhapsody That very same year, Giselle releases her fifth single, Dinner and a Show, a lyrically dissonant, heart pumping anthem that’s a metaphor for the way any type of review fuelled her, since it meant people were talking about her work. 

You serve yourself on a platter; your putrid delights, / yet how can I refrain? / You don’t come to flatter, you don’t want to go / so come on baby, / don’t you know? / You’re treating me to dinner and a show.

Giselle’s usually silky performance is turned into a masterclass of vocal gymnastics as she slides easily from the rough intensity of rock and roll, to the smooth purr of jazz as she sings about eating critics for breakfast.

They say a free mind makes the meat so tender / now you’re on the menu and I’m a big spender

The song itself comes as a response to her former manager about how her “aggressive” move to music that more stylistically rock and roll was alienating older audiences, though Foster, still her producer at the time, was pushing for her to skew to a younger audience, and it seemed as though he had gotten his way.

The real change, however, was the B-Side of the record. After speaking to Jim “Miami” Beach, Queen’s lawyer, regarding potentially covering one of the band’s songs, Giselle reveals that she was eventually told to just ask them directly.

“I gave Miami a letter that basically explained that I’d like to cover one of their songs for my new album,” Giselle gives me a thin smile, and I feel like I’ve done something wrong, even though I’m assured by Brian that her public persona “is just like that sometimes”. 

“- and I thought it was a joke! I said ‘yeah, sure, what’s the worst that could happen’.” Mercury laughs, leaning forward elbows on his knees and eyes shinning with amusement. “I did not believe for one second that Giselle, Giselle-” repeating her name for emphasis, his hand comes to quickly rest on hers where she still has them perfectly still on her knee, a moment of solidarity, “wanted anything to do with us. Hand Held Heart had been at the top of the US charts for almost three whole weeks the year before.” Letting out a long, wistful sigh, Mercury sits back, still grinning, though he’s got this far away look on his face now. 

“So we’d been stuck on a farm, recording A Night At The Opera for weeks with no outside communications, ” May fills in where Mercury’s faded into his own memories, and Taylor slings arm around Giselle where she’s actually relaxed somewhat, hands now in her lap. Curiously, she doesn’t shrug him off. “And when we get back, it turns out that she’s put a jazz cover of Jesus, yeah, that song from our first album, on the B-Side of her newest single.”

“Freddie practically had a heart attack.” Deacon adds, patting Mercury’s shoulder fondly.

In her own way, she was continuing the trend that Dinner and a Show had started, and that seven-inch single would bestow upon Giselle the title of Queen of Jazz Rock. It hadn’t been the first time she had acknowledged the band publicly, by the time she had released the single, her public persona had gained enough traction that, a few months prior to her recording of the cover, a reporter had asked if Killer Queen, Queen’s biggest hit at the time, had been written about her. The question had been caught on camera by the reporter after one of her tour stops in the Midwest of America; the footage is a favourite of fans, including myself, of the way she doesn’t even turn, simply calls over her shoulder, ‘they should be so lucky’, and she gets into her waiting car.

“I never took offence,” Mercury tells me, both in 1982, and 1985, as I bring it up both times to consolidate the origins of their musical partnership.

“You wouldn’t, you were all starry-eyed for her back then.” Taylor leans back to address Mercury behind Giselle’s head, but only when he says it the first time, in 1982. 

“It was a bit of a dig at us,” Deacon agrees with the drummer, nodding before shrugging. “A lot of good came out of it, though.” The others seem to agree, but Giselle herself has stayed quiet. For the first time since the interview started, she looks away from me, gaze dipping as she seems inclined to speak, though she takes her time to weigh up her words before she says them, wondering exactly what will and will not be printed.

“It was a bit of s**t thing to say. I was twenty-four and I panicked, I had to keep up my... this persona.” She gestures now to herself, breaking the entire physicality as she lets herself lean back, and I feel like I can breathe, seeing her act so human. Adjusting, she lets herself rest of the slightest of diagonals, shoulder to shoulder with Taylor’s arm still around her, now with Mercury petting her knee in solidarity.

Once in the tour bus, the difference between Giselle Jones, the woman, and Giselle, the singer and personality, becomes almost jarring to see. As soon as we get into the bus, she strips off the gown she was wearing, I turn away, though the others don’t seem to be bothered by it, May takes the dress to a waiting assistant by the door, and when I turn back, she’s in a pair of sweat pants and Taylor is tossing her shirt several sizes too big for her. For the first time since I’ve learned about her, Giselle looks comfortable, looks approachable and, for lack of a better word, non-robotic, taking a hairbrush from a drawer and flopping onto one of the beds as she brushes out the gel, apparently not bothering with a shower just yet.

“I showered this morning.” She seems to have caught my confused look, and explains herself. With her guard lowered in the familiar situation, her natural voice shines through, a rich, yet feminine alto, reminiscent of her singing voice. It adds to the list of things that add character to her beyond what her “persona” could ever convey. Or perhaps that’s the point.

The bus itself is almost too small for the five performers, and I’m certain it won’t fit me, but Giselle and I watch as they cram a blow up bed onto the kitchen table. It looks stable, and for the opportunity to experience living in such close quarters with such big names, I’d take anything.

“Sorry, darling, Paul takes the only spare bed.” Mercury informs me as I shimmy up onto the bed to test if it would hold. I had thought that the vehicle was at capacity, though it does make sense that the band’s day-to-day manager, Paul Prenter, would be travelling with them. That being said, I hadn’t realised there was even a spare bed, there was only five, perhaps none of them had wanted to be subjected to the blow up bed and decided to share instead.

When we finally get on the road, I get to finally see their true dynamics emerge. We all know the Queen dynamics by now, brotherly yet volatile, at times. I had worried for Giselle at times, the concept of living with four men (five if you count Prenter, who Giselle does not seem to, when I ask her about it, though I don’t think that’s a subject I should pry about, judging by the look on Taylor’s face where I can see him lounging at the back of the bus). However, I should have not have been worried; first of all, despite the youthfulness of their appearances, performances, and spirit, these are all men in their 30s, Giselle herself being 31 at the time of writing (1982), and they all have experience living with women, and with each other.

“First tour was a nightmare.” Deacon’s joined me on the blowup bed, is sipping tea as we travel along. “We learned real quick how disgusting close quarters can be.” He’s a quiet soul, but observant, and honestly I really enjoy his company. Anyone who can weather over a decade of rock and roll and come out as calm as him deserves some sort of recognition. “It’s much better now. Mostly.” He smiles like it’s an inside joke, but won’t elaborate. Giselle and Taylor refuse to clarify what he means by that, May just laughs when I ask him, directing me back to ask Taylor and Giselle, and Mercury calls them all gossips.

It’s something about the tour lifestyle that must bring out the childishness in them all, which comes out strongly during dinner. They shove my blowup bed into the sleeping quarters when dinner is served, and the five of us manage to cram into the tiny booth the bus allows. May, Deacon and Giselle are in charge of cooking dinner, sausages, potatoes, and peas, since apparently Prenter and Mercury have taken lunch duties, and Roger has put himself in charge of getting coffee and tea for everyone in the morning.

“We should really eat breakfast.” Giselle muses through half a mouthful of food.

“I do!” Deacon, next to me, comes back with, pouring some more peas onto his plate.

“You just eat cereal from the box, Deaky, that’s not breakfast.” Taylor counters him, which just causes the rest of the table to devolve into an argument about what counts as breakfast. Prenter, who has joined us for the meal, looks like he’d rather be napping or still driving, and makes quiet work of his meal.

Roger Taylor goes to sleep after me, and wakes up before I do, and I’m not sure how he does it. Or where he sleeps, the other beds seem taken. He wakes me up on the first morning by shoving my bed, which slides a few centimeters, but isn’t about to fall off it’s perch.

“You want coffee?” I’m barely functioning at this point, and his question baffles me. “Tea? Coffee? Deaky’s cereal? We got some left over sausages.” He lists off, probably due to my clear confusion, he seems exasperated, even though he’s definitely wearing pyjamas too. He’s still scowling a little when I tell him how I like my coffee, but he doesn’t complain, and it tastes exactly like I like it when he hands it over. The bus is stationary, so he can put the cups by the bedsides of those they are for, but interestingly enough he joins me on the table/bed. 

I know the origin story of Queen, I think everyone does at this point, so I ask him instead about the subject of my article; how Queen got involved with Giselle.

“You wanna know how I met Giselle?” It’s not exactly what I asked, but he’s already thinking about it, looking past me to the sleeping quarters with a frown. He plays absent-mindedly with the chain around his neck, and with the ring attached to it. “I thought everyone knew about that, the whole thing where we hated each other from the start?” When I ask if it was true, he actually laughs, though it’s more a snort of derision, if I’m being honest. “Of course not. Mostly.” They all seem to like that word, I hadn’t taken them all to be vague.

“I told him to take a long walk off a short pier.” Giselle will clarify for me later that day, joining me as I take a smoke break at one of our bathroom stops, not that there isn’t a toilet on the bus, they just try to avoid using it as much as possible. She doesn’t smoke, claims she never has, but enjoys the company, while the boys are buying snacks at the gas station. I ask when it was, she gives me another thin smile, but not like it had been in the office. Here it’s the punctuation to an earlier joke rather than a judgement.

She tells me about how she actually met them all, recording her second album, after her 1972 performance on Top of the Pops, you know the one. It had cemented Giselle’s now iconic aesthetic of an off the shoulder, floor length sequinned gown, silk gloves, and bold red lipstick, dark hair falling victory curls, the whole look reminiscent of an old Hollywood star, though there was red glitter trailing from her lips, and on her gloves in a theatrical fabrication of blood. It had been a look inspired by her musical roots, and the theatricality of the then-popular glam rock, a movement which would inspire many of Mercury’s tour looks also.

She was twenty-one at the time, still “developing her persona”, when she found that the in-house recording equipment at EMI was being used by the then-still quite unknown Queen. Or rather, according to Giselle, just Taylor.

“He was packing up the last of his equipment, and he makes a pass at me, thinks I’m an intern.” We can see the boys leaving the gas station, Taylor himself heading the pack. “So yeah, told him to take a long walk off a short pier.” She laughs, seems to hold the memory quite dear. “That b******d has the gall to look me in the eyes and ask who I am.”

“Did he know who you were?” When I look at her, she’s still smiling, tipping her head to the side as the boys draw close. She seems to be paying attention to me, but not a lot.

“Yeah, told me later he was just pissed I didn’t throw myself at him. That’s why I said that, ‘they should be so lucky’ thing, actually, that motherf****r right there.” The way she says it, raising her finger to point at him, makes me think it’s a story she’s told before, one that he knows about.

“You talking about me?” Taylor yells, and Giselle is quick to answer that she is. “Don’t spill all my secrets.” It sounds like an order, but his smile says it’s not, it’s weirdly playful, a dynamic I didn’t expect from them, especially considering their history. I raise the point. She laughs at me.

“You’re kidding, right?” 

Prenter calls for everyone on the bus, and Giselle doesn’t think to clarify once we’re back on board. 

The tour, I should have mentioned earlier, is a double feature; Queen is promoting their album Hot Space, while Giselle is promoting her own, The Bend Before the Break. When I ask her about the album itself, she talks happily about a few of the songs, however when I bring up my personal favourites, Ache and Heaven Sent, she turns very quiet.

I will end up watching most of her performances, and to this day, I have never seen something as raw and spiritual as Giselle performing Ache.

The lights dim as the joyful Meant to Be finishes. On the studio recording, a double bass starts the song, long, grieving and angry notes that pick up in tempo as it’s joined by drums and a piano, and finally, her voice, low, bitter and seductive in equal measure. Here, there’s silence, as she gently croons the open lines, face illuminated by only a single gold light, as swirling red and purple lights move about the stage. 

While saying you were sorry, / you burned me from the outside, in. / Now I’m calloused all over, / And too tired to feel the sting. / But I feel the ache, / feel the ache / feel the ache. / I’ll still let you back in.

She plays the piano herself for this song, a skill, I later learn Mercury had taught her many years ago. It’s a song that tugs at your gut, gets you thinking about how you keep people in your life who aren’t the best for you. She ends the last chorus with a long, mournful wail that you feel in your bones. 

I’ve never heard a crowd so quiet as when she finishes Ache, the penultimate song of her set list, unless you count encores.

The final song of the night is always Heaven Sent, a bright, headbanging anthem with the musical gravitas of a full jazz band. It was her single from the album, it topped most charts. You know the one. The radio won’t stop playing it.

Divinity with a neon glow / it hung above his head, / promoting his next show. / Didn’t even try to find my light, / just the darkness he’d bestow. / Heaven sent me the Morningstar.

“I was cheated on.” Was all she will say about the songs.

The others steer clear of those songs as well, when talking about the album, as well as the titular song, The Bend Before the Break, though Giselle claims she has moved on from the feelings associated in all three songs.

“I wrote them first on the album, I’ve moved on.”

Each of the boys seems very protective of Giselle at times, though Taylor is by far the worst. If I’m being honest, was weird to me, they’d been at each other’s throats publicly and professionally for almost a full decade after Giselle’s initial comment, however the vitriol had died down in the past few years, so I enquire about that about halfway through the six week tour. 

“We set them up.” May is the first to answer, sipping tea with myself, Deacon and Mercury. Since both Giselle and Taylor adjourned to the sleeping quarters. I ask him what he means.

“They tell it better.” Mercury interjects, but May argues that they’re asleep anyways so it’s not like it matters. Deacon agrees with Mercury, but quiet enough that May ignores him.

“So by ‘79, we’ve collaborated together, us and ‘Zelle, I mean,” the nickname is mostly used by May and Taylor, though Deacon uses it on occasion, “a couple of times, and we love her, right boys? We love her-” looking around, both Mercury and Deacon are nodding along, responding to a story they’d both heard before, though it was interesting for my first time hearing it, “but Rog is about ready to stab her with his drumsticks, but that’s just how he is.”

“Threatened to stab me once.” Deacon adds the unnerving information with complete serenity, focused on his cup.

“Me a couple of times.” Mercury shakes his head, as if it were some schoolboy prank rather than a stabbing threat.

“Like I said, just how he is. So we decide to send them to a place where they can bond over complaining about everything else, apart from each other.” I asked how it worked out for them and I watch as their faces fall. This terrible blind date idea must have gone horribly. “They hate the restaurant, which is good, but he goes to leave and bumps the table, spilling beer all over her dress, which is bad,” well, obviously. He pays me no mind, “and she elbows him in the face when she’s putting her jacket on - still don’t know how that one happened - but he still says he’ll take her home because it’s late, except-”

“To preface,” Deacon jumps in here, adding a little more milk to his tea, “she hates I’m In Love With My Car.” The song? Deacon nods. “Rog wrote it.” I can connect the dots, but I’m still confused as to how that lead to them being friends.

“Friends.” Mercury actually laughs into his cup.

“He takes her home anyways, she tells him the song’s s**t bu the sentiment wasn’t far off.” May finishes, shrugging.

“It was a real nice car.” Deacon shrugged, before looking straight at me. “And she still hates the song to this day.” There’s an air of finality to his words that is entirely unwarranted. That isn’t the point of the story; how are they friends now? Did they hook up in his car? Is that what they’re implying, I feel like such a gossip asking these questions.

“Did they ho- ? Yeah, of course.” May laughs, and though it clears some things up, I’m still rather confused. It’s probably reading on my face, because it looks like something else is dawning on him. “You know they’re married, right?”

No. No I did not know. Now I feel like an idiot.

I wonder if The Bend Before the Break is about Taylor? I can sense I’ve touched a nerve when I ask, and Mercury abruptly changes the subject, though the air still doesn’t feel right. When I head back through the sleeping area to get a new pen from my luggage, I catch a glimpse of Giselle napping in her bunk, Taylor too, asleep with his arm around her. She’s even wearing a wedding ring. I’m kicking myself for not noticing sooner. The chain with the ring around Taylor’s neck makes sense now. A lot of things make sense now.

For the next four days I feel like I’m being shunned, I’m the last to be told about dinner and have to eat the leftovers, Giselle barely says two words to me, Taylor just keeps glowering, and someone let the air out of my bed on the second night. It’s childish, but it’s in line with what I expect from them, regarding this sort of issue, I’m just glad Taylor hasn’t poured my coffee on me in my sleep, or spat in it. He just didn’t make it, which I suppose is probably the safest option for me.

The only apology I can think of is to offer to buy them all drinks, but it works well enough, and the next morning I wake to a fresh cup of coffee, and a very hungover Taylor. At least he’s dedicated to his job.

The rest of the tour passes without further incident. I still stand by Ache as one of my favourite musical performances of the decade, though I don’t mention it to Giselle, and now that I know the dynamic between her and Taylor, I can’t stop seeing it. Honestly, readers, they’re all over each other, which is expected from a man of Taylor’s reputation, but it’s still a little jarring to see the two of them so cozy. I must have been blind not to see it before.

When we part ways, Giselle is a little stiff with me.

“You brought up some feelings that I just... hadn’t actually dealt with at the time, which f******d me up.” She tells me in retrospect, sitting in my office with the rest of the boys in 1985. Live Aid was a few weeks ago, and since they all returned to the spotlight, I asked if they wanted to come and reflect on the past few years. The one thing that hasn’t changed is the fact that Giselle still swears like a sailor.

“A lot’s happened in the past few years.” Taylor’s still very protective of her, and after everything that’s conspired, at least from what I know, it’s warranted. We talk about the band splitting, how it had hurt the band as a whole, and even Giselle, who was at the time seeing a counsellor with Taylor. I’m hesitant to broach the topic of their relationship, though they seem like a solid until now, sitting before me, holding hands and leaning against one another.

I ask if Giselle’s breakdown was due to the band splitting, though I’m hesitant if I’ll get a response. Her smile is sad, which is mirrored by the rest of the band. I can guess her response before she says it.

“No.”

You all know the moment I’m talking about, the last concert for her last album, as of this publication, Finally, Sunlight where she had receive pleas from the audience for an encore. When she came back out, part of her makeup had been smudged around her eyes, and you can hear her sniffle over the microphone. (”I’m so sorry, I lost someone close to me, I thought I could keep it together for one night.” Dabbing at her eyes, she sits at the piano and laughs, but there’s no heart in it. “But I’ve got five more minutes left in me, let’s go, Atlanta.”) The song she plays is Somebody to Love, a slow, soulful cover, and the audience is almost unanimous in their raised lighters and slow swaying. As she goes on, she just starts crying harder, missing notes, hands shaking; the extended ‘Looooord’ before the chanting becomes a desperate wail, a plea to the heavens, and she collapses onto the piano, sobbing audibly as the instruments all come to uncertain halt and lighters go down in confusion.

From the crowd, a single voice begins to chant ‘Find me somebody to love. / Find me somebody to love.’ and a single voice turns to a theatre, full to the brim, as they sing when she can’t, still crying against the piano. Lighters go up, and together the audience and the band finishes the song where words have failed her. It was televised locally on the night, and still brings me to tears when I watch it now.

“We lost our daughter.” 

For those of you reading this who are shocked, I am too. Sitting there like a fool, not saying anything. 

“I was on tour, and Rog was at home with her,” even now, Giselle is getting a little teary-eyed, not that I blame her. Both Taylor and Mercury have an arm around her, and May has a hand on her shoulder, Deacon sitting on the back of the sofa right behind her. A unit. A family. “I wanted to go home, she was getting really sick, and I know he was doing everything he could, but I just- I wanted to be there... but my label threatened to sue me for... millions.” It sounds like it’s hard to say, and she’s wiping a tear from her eyes. I offer her the tissues on my desk. “But I should have gone home. I should have been there by her side, I should have done more.” Taylor whispers something to her and she leans against him, taking comfort in him.

“I had to call her, tell her that... that she’d passed. The day of the show. She’d been so upset for week, ‘Zelle that is, and everything just-” Taylor manages to get a great handle on his emotions, despite his misty eyes and shaking hands. “We’re alright now though, see? Nothing can tear us apart.” Though his voice does drop, so I think he’s saying it more for Giselle’s benefit. I give them all time to collect themselves, stop to get hot drinks for everyone, and everyone finally seems happy enough to answer when I ask what’s next for them.

“Music, of course.” Mercury says, now holding what was Giselle’s free hand. The rest of the gathered musicians agree. I ask if we’ll be hearing any sort of collaboration between Queen and the Queen of Jazz Rock. Taylor snickers, pulling Giselle close.

“Yeah, but not in the way you mean.” He ignores the rest of the men’s shouts of disgust, as well as his wife’s own gagging noise, which I can see on her face she regrets as she covers her mouth with caution, before giving the okay. 

“No, we’re okay, we’re good.” She assures everyone, before looking at me. “What he meant to say is that I’m pregnant.” She clarifies. Taylor is still grinning. 

“Don’t be gross, Rog.” May calls from the other side of the sofa, and Taylor has the gall to look accosted.

“What’s next for me, after everything that’s happened, is family.” Giselle says over the sounds of her husband’s indignant huffs, though his expression turns soft at her words, and they ignore the ‘boo’s of everyone else as they kiss.

“Could you be less gross around company?” Deacon asks, still mild-mannered as ever. This seems to be the cue for the interview to end, as Taylor of Giselle-

“It’s Giselle Taylor, by the way, I’m sorry I hadn’t corrected you earlier.” She corrects me now, as [Roger] Taylor leads her out of the door. The rest of the band seem mildly exasperated at their antics, but still ready to answer my questions. After everything that’s happened, I’m a little overwhelmed, I’m not sure where to go from here.

Perhaps my next article will be on Live Aid.

[mycatmoo]

The Great Escape (Oumota Weekend)

Oumota weekend

Villain vs Superhero

“So this is it. The final battle.” A voice said out of nowhere as Kaito, Maki, and Shuichi entered the final room of the villains lair.  

“Huh?” Kaito asks, looking around the dark room. He could barely see a foot in front of him, and he most certainly couldn’t see their enemy.

“Such a shame too. This is the most fun I’ve had in a loooong time.” The voice says with a dramatic sigh.

“Show yourself, Kokichi. We know its you.” Maki hisses.

“Maaan, still quite bitchy, huh, Maki Roll? Weell, if you INSIST. It is quite boring to have a conversation with people who cannot see me.” Kaito waited with baited breath to see the person the three of them has been chasing for a long time.

For some reason Kaito didn’t understand, he felt excited to see the smaller boy, but also anxious. Seeing him again would mean they would have to fight, and this fight would mean that they would never get to see him again. And something about the thought of never seeing Kokichi again made Kaito feel… hollow.

They waited a bit. Then a bit longer. Then a little bit longer. But still, he didn’t show up.

“Uh… where is he?” Shuichi asks, looking around. After that, they heard a “nishishi” come from behind them. Turning around, the three saw Kokichi in all his glory, wearing his cape and hat.

Immediately, Maki whipped out her gun, and pointing it at Kokichi.  

“Aah come on Maki Roll! Don’t be like that! After all, the villain is supposed to give a villainous monologue before the big fight! It would be no fun if you put a gun to my head beforehand!”

“So give that monologue so I can shoot you and get this done with.”

“Maaan. You always were a buzzkill. Definitely my least favorite out of your little band of heroes. By the way, where’s Kaede and Rantaro? Seems strange that you’d leave them out.”

“They stayed in case anything went wrong.” Shuichi explained.

“Well then wouldn’t it have made more sense to bring Kaede along instead of you? After all, if what you’re thinking does happen and I wind up defeating you, wouldn’t it make more sense to have “the heart” there to keep you all going instead of “the smart guy?”

“What are you going on about this time?” Kaito asks.

“Oh, you know. Just me being me. Just spouting out random nonsense that comes to my brain.”

“That has to be a lie. You never just “spout out random nonsense that comes to your brain.” Maki growls, eyes narrowing.

“Aaah man. Ya caught me. Yes, there was a point.” Kokichi says with faux disappointment, his smile still present on his face.

“So what were you talking about?” Kaito asks, putting his hand behind his head in confusion.

“If you beat me I’ll tell you! After all, I still haven’t given my villainous monologue!”

“So get to it.” Maki growls.

“Alright alright, you don’t have to rush me!

…

…

..

Oh would you look at the time, seems I gotta blast.” Kokichi says with a laugh.

‘What?”

“Well, as it turns out, I’m not actually the final boss! The boss has finally entered the room!” And with that, Kokichi runs to the door, throwing it open then slamming it shut. Kaito hears a click come from the door, and when Maki (after chasing after Kokichi) tried opening it, she found it locked.

“Its locked.” She simply says. Then, the three of them were pounded with a blinding light. It took a bit, but soon enough, Kaito adjusted to the light.

“Thaaaat’s right losers! The dude you were following all this time? He was just a ploy! I am the actual mastermind behind everything!” A voice announces. Turning to the front of front of the room, he could finally see the rest of the room. It was like a throne room, with massive windows, elaborately decorated, and a red carpet leading to massive throne. And sitting on the throne was a woman, about their age, with pinkish-blonde hair in two ponytails.

Kaito immediately recognized who it was. It was the woman who had helped them multiple times throughout this journey.

Junko Enoshima.

-

“Gotta get to the secret door, quickly.” Kokichi mutters, rushing around the floating airship that his “boss,” Junko, calls her villainous home.

He knew from the beginning that Junko was the big bad terrorizing the city. After the first bank robbery where the only thing left was a simple black and white bear hairpin, he knew it. And he knew he had to stop her.

He was one of her first “followers”, and got to the second highest rank rather quickly.

She didn’t have a clue about his plan to stop her.

As he ran through the passageway leading to the throne room, he could feel his heart rushing. His brain was working in overload. He could stop worrying that his plan would fail.

That any of those three would get hurt.

That Kaito would get hurt.

At the thought of Kaito getting hurt, he shoved the feeling into a box labeled “repression.”

It wouldn’t matter what his opinion of the “hero” was, he had more important things to worry about.

Soon, he got to the door. Grabbing a taser gun attached on his pants, hidden by his cape (he left his hat on the run here) he opened the door slowly. Looking around, he saw what he estimated would happen. Junko giving a monologue while holding Shuichi to her, holding a gun to his head. Kaito, with his sword drawn, was trying to talk her out of it, while Maki looked around for a solution.

Junko had her back to him. Good. He could work with this.

Walking out slowly, he sneaks closer to Junko, making sure he cannot hear his footsteps.

It was Kaito who saw him first. He looked about ready to say something to Kokichi, but Kokichi put his finger to his mouth in a “shh” way. As soon as he got close enough to Junko, he raised his taser, and shot her square in the back.

With a scream, Junko let go of Shuichi as she fell to her knees, shaking from the taser.

“Shuichi!” Kaito immediately exclaims, rushing over to the shaking boy and throwing his arm over his shoulder.

“Come on you three!” Kokichi immediately yells, rushing over to the secret door.

“Wait, what about Junko?!” Kaito immediately calls.  

“There is something MUCH more important to worry about right now!” Kokichi yells back, throwing open the secret door and turning around.

“And why should we trust you?” Maki asks with eyes narrowed.

“Just trust me. I’ll explain later.” And with that, Kokichi rushes through the door, not looking back to see if the three of them was following. With Junko out of commission for a little while, he could focus on the more threatening person to his plan. Monaca. His mind set, he rushes over to the control room of the ship.

Behind him, he could hear three sets of footsteps. So they WERE following him. Good. His plan was going swelly.

In fact, it was going too swell. Something about that didn’t sit right with Kokichi.

Soon enough, the group was at the control room. Putting his eye to the eye scanner, Kokichi opens the door. Peering inside, he didn’t see the little girl.

Good.

“Come in. I’ll explain.” Kokichi says, walking into the room. Letting the other three enter, he closed and locked the door.

“Why did you lock the door?” Maki asks, glaring at Kokichi.

“Relaaax. Its locked from the inside. Press the red button and you can leave.” Kokichi sighs dramatically, walking up to the computer. “Aaaanyway. As for the reason I stopped you from killing Junko and ending this here, well… It’s simple really.” Kokichi says, digging in his pocket for a flashdrive. Finding it, he sticks it into the computer, turning it on.

“If you DID kill her, it would initiate plan two of her Destroy the World plan.”

“What?!” Kaito exclaims.

“How would killing Junko be the start of a plan two?” Maki asks.

“All of her followers would be enraged… They would follow her plan to end the world if she died…”

“Ya. That’s why we have to defeat her without killing her.” Kokichi says, half paying attention. He had to take control of the ship and manage to pilot it to where DICE was hiding. From there, the police would swoop in and arrest everyone inside.

This plan would only work today. He fought tooth and nail to get all of the Remnants of Despair inside the ship today, and this was likely his one shot.

Only a few people knew of the secret door, and Junko would likely be able to narrow it down to him.

“Need help with that?” Kaito asks, surprising Kokichi slightly.

“Nishishi. I doubt YOU of all people would know what to do here!”

“Well it looks like you’re having some trouble with that.”

“Aaah. Does Kaito-chan CARE for me? The guy who was harassing you for how long?”

“Well it’s obvious that you are actually a good guy!”

“I prefer “anti-hero” y’know. Their more fun than just a boring old good guy. Just like you!”

“HEY!”

“Aaaand… Got it.” Kokichi mutters.

“Got what?” Shuichi asks.

“The wheel to this thing it based off your fingerprints. And it doesn’t recognize my fingerprints. I had to hack the system to reset the fingerprints. Sooo.. does any of you know how to drive an aircraft?”

“Wait, you don’t know? Isn’t all of this YOUR plan?” Maki asks.

“Uh yea. I know how to drive one of these things. But I just saved your asses. I think it’s time I get a break.”

“...Fine. I’ll do it.” Maki says with a sigh.

“Great! Put your fingers on that thing!” Kokichi announces, pointing to a small circle near the steering wheel. Putting her fingers on it, a robotic voice announces;

“Fingerprints detected. Allowing access to steer the ship.”

“Alright, where am I taking this thing?”

“Here.” Kokichi says, pulling up a map on the computer, inputting an area, and setting it to give directions.

“Alright. Lets go.” Maki sighs, grabbing the steering wheel, allowing the computer to give her directions on where to go.

-

When Kaito saw Kokichi sneaking up behind Junko, he felt his heart skip a beat. At first he felt anxious, scared that Kokichi was going to shoot one of them. But then he realized something when he pointed that gun at Junko.

He was on their side the entire time.

Suddenly, so much made sense. From the multiple encounters he had with Kokichi, he said many cryptic things. But now, seeing this, he realized their meaning.

He was alluding to his plan, and how he was going to betray Junko.

So, without another thought, he followed Kokichi.

Why did his heart skip a beat when he realized this?

And now, looking at the smaller boy sitting in the corner with his eyes closed, though not really sleeping, he saw him in a new light. And why is Kaito’s heart beating so fast?

“Uuh Kaito? Can you stop staring? Its kinda creeping me out.”

“Oh shit, I’m sorry.” Kaito says, quickly turning his head away.

“Neeheehee.” Kokichi says. Despite trying his best to make it not seem like he’s tired, Kaito could tell that he was. Scooting up to the smaller boy, he attempts to strike up a conversation.

“So, all this time, you were just playing Junko?”

“Yup!”

“And you were on our side the entire time?”

“Well I wouldn’t say I was on YOUR side. I was on MY side, which just happened to align with your side.”

“So about that conversation we were having before you ran off?”

“I told you. I’d tell you what I meant if you beat me, and you didn’t, sooo…”

“Ah come on, man!”

“What? You wanna fight? I still got my taser!”

“If either of you fight then I am turning this ship around.” Maki growls.

“Sorry Maki Roll.”

“Stop calling me Maki Roll.”

And the conversation started up again from there. Granted, Kokichi and Kaito DID get into an argument. Like pretty much every other encounter they’ve had. But whatever, it’s kind of expected at this point.

Eventually though, there was a knock at the door. Then another. Then a lot more.

“Huh. Guess she finally decided to show up.” Kokichi sighs, getting up and pulling out a small taser and a strange bomb. Walking over to a small trunk, he removes two strange hammers, handing them to Kaito.

“Who?” Shuichi asks.

“Monaca. She’s the technician of the group. She’s the person I was most concerned about.”

“What are these?” Kaito asks, looking strangely at the hammers.

“Electrohammers. Hit a touch, they can knock out any electronics. Monaca’s power comes from primarily from electronics, so these will be useful. And these.” Kaito says, holding up the bombs. “Are electrobombs. They block out electromagnetic waves.”

“Ah. So we’re going to have to fight robots?” Shuichi asks, grabbing a hammer.

“Most likely. Maki, don’t stop steering. No matter what.”

“I can’t promise anything.” Maki sighs.

“Alright. Let’s do this.” Kokichi says, holding up the taser, facing the door just as it opens. Just outside the door, Kaito could see a little girl with green hair.

“Huh? You technician, and the one you were most worried about, was a little girl?” Kaito asks incredulously.

“Don’t judge a book by its cover. I’m pretty fearsome.” Monaca says with her creepy smile. “You did so well, getting to this point. It took us a while to realize that you incapacitated Big Sis Junko and that you were here.”

“Nishishi. Glad you’re proud of me.” Kokichi says, putting his hand behind his head.

“Too bad that all that work was for nothing. You are a traitor, and I will not let you get in the way of Big Sis Junko’s plan.” And with that, 5 robots appeared behind Monaca. “Have fun.” Monaca says in a sing song voice, stepping behind the robots.

“Okay, the electrohammers will only be able to knock out one of exisals. There are 6 inside the trunk. I’m going to go for Monaca.” Kokichi whispers to the two boys. “Lets go.” And with that, the three of the charged.

Kaito immediately went for the exisal closest to him, a yellow one. They didn’t seem to expect this, and Kaito managed to get a clear hit on the exisal’s leg. With a sputter, the robot slumped to the ground. While he didn’t see it, Kaito felt Kokichi run past him, and past the exisal. Next to him, Kaito saw Shuichi knock out a pink one.

“Good job Shuichi! That’s my sidekick!” Kaito called with a thumbs up.

“Hey knuckleheads! Focus on the robots instead of your bromance!” Kokichi shouts, nearly dodging an arm of a red exisal swinging at him.

“Kokichi!” Kaito yells, running inside the control room. Throwing his used electrohammer, he grabs two more, Shuichi grabbing one, and runs back out. Charging at the red exisal harassing Kokichi, he swings at it, knocking that one out. He could hear Shuichi knocking out an exisal behind him. “You alright?”

“Yea, thanks.” Kokichi says without thinking, charging after Monaca, who ran away. Quickly taking out the last exisal, Kaito chases after Kokichi, throwing his two electrohammers in a random direction again.

“Stay with Maki! I’m going to help Kokichi!” Kaito yells to Shuichi as he runs. He didn’t wait for a response. Despite trying his best though, Kaito wasn’t able to keep up with Kokichi. Soon enough, he lost track of him.

Skidding to a stop, Kaito has only one thing to say. “Shit.”

Without another thought, Kaito starts running again, this time following his gut. And it seemed like his gut was right, as he soon heard a loud bang and a scream.

“Kokichi!” Kaito yells, running to where he heard the scream. Quickly, he throws the door open, and sees a simple room. Kokichi was kneeling, holding an area in his stomach, with Monaca standing over him, a gun in her hand.

Without another thought, Kaito rushes Monaca, pulling the gun out of her hand, and shoving her away from Kokichi.

“Stay away from him, you brat!” Kaito yells, standing in between the two of them.

“Kaito…” Kokichi says weakly, before Kaito heard a small thud from behind him.

“Kokichi!”

“You’re too late. Kokichi is going to die.” Monaca says cheerfully.

“Fuck you!”

“That’s a harsh thing to say to a kid.”

“I don’t care! Just come here, you brat!” Kaito yells, rushing at Monaca again, picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder.

“Let go of me!” Monaca cries, kicking and screaming. Not affected by the weak kicks and punches from the 8-something or other year old, Kaito gently picks up a knocked out Kokichi, rushing back to the control room.

“Shuichi! Help me!” He says as soon as he gets there. Upon seeing the heavily bleeding Kokichi, Shuichi gets to work, attempting to slow the bleeding. Kaito puts the still screaming Monaca in the corner, blocking the doorway.

From there, Kaito was mostly in a daze. Before he knew it, the ship landed and police rushed inside. They put Kokichi in an ambulance, and he was rushed to the nearest hospital. And before he knew it, Kaito was passed out at the side of Kokichi’s bed, head resting on the side of his bed.

-

“Ngh..” Kokichi groans tiredly. He couldn’t feel anything. He couldn’t see anything. And he was too tired to process anything. It felt like forever where he laid there, nothing happened, before he slowly opened his eyes. It was blurry at first. Okay, for a while. But soon enough, he got his vision back. He got his senses back. And he could finally feel stuff. He felt something in his arm. He felt warmth from the blanket. Soon enough, Kokichi realized he was in a hospital.

It took him a bit, but soon he remembered what sent him into the hospital in the first place.

“Kaito…” Kokichi whispers, too tired to be any louder. His voice was cracky, as if he hadn’t used it in a long time. Which was likely.

...How did he survive?

Managing to look around, he saw Kaito, sitting on the side of his bed, head on said bed, sleeping. He looked so peaceful.

Kokichi could feel his heart flutter. And this time, he was too tired to bury it. His box labeled “repression” burst open. Kokichi couldn’t help himself after that. Despite being tired, he slowly and shakily raised a hand to Kaito’s face with a tired smile.

When Kaito stirred slightly from the touch, Kokichi’s hand gave out. He started drifting off to sleep again. But Kokichi had one last thought before sleep consumed him again.

That he loved Kaito, and since Kaito was the one worriedly by his side when he was hurt, he likely did as well.

[siodymph]

“The Before and After”

Hey there @pirably ! I’m so sorry this is getting to you so late! I can’t thank you enough for participating in the gift exchange, and I hope you enjoy my take on your prompt!

Feel free to read your story under the cut or over on my ao3!

“I can’t believe you!”

“What?”

Sighing, Stanford took a deep breath. His neck was starting to feel pinched from looking up at so long. “I said I CAN’T BEL-”

“I heard what you said! What’s not to believe?”

“Just… Everything about this! There’s no way this is safe!”

There was a long pause as Stanford waited until he finally heard Fiddleford respond. Voice echoing out from somewhere near the top of his gigantic creation.

“… Probably not!”

“Then why do you insist on working like this? Why put yourself in life-threatening danger!”

“Cause!” Fiddleford called back, huffing. “I work best directly with my hands. And there’s no way I could tip this darned thing over without risking it all breaking! All for some shiftin’ wires!”

“You could build something to help gently set it down then stand it again!” Stanford tried to add.

“Ugh! But that’d take even more time! Not to mention I’d have to build that first!” Fiddleford yelled. “Now hush up! I’m trying to work here Stanford!”

If someone were to see Stanford at that moment, they probably would have said he was pouting. But Ford would take to his grave if he had to. “I just want you to be safe…”

“I’m harnessed to the swing, which I rigged up myself! Checked the pulleys and everything this morning! I’m the safest I’ve ever been!” Fiddleford called out one more time. “And you’re one to talk! Where was all this fussing over safety when you were in Dr. Jenret’s class and you almost poured acid on yourself?”

Stanford could only smile and shake his head in response. As always Fiddleford was able to win him over when he least suspected it. As inevitable as it was, it still caught Stanford off-guard. Growing up there had been no one like that in his life. If he ever got into arguments or debates with kids they’d always either eventually concede or just completely give up. Or they’d just hit him out of annoyance. If it was his brother he’d do a combination of the last two.

At least Stanford used that excuse as to why after knowing the man for years now, he still managed to surprise him when they got into debates.

To this day Fiddleford was probably the only person he knew who could get him to shut up and see things from a new perspective.

So now knowing there was nothing he could say Stanford decided to just sit back and watch the show Fiddleford was putting on. The man may be stubborn as a mule, but he was equally as cunning and brilliant, and he certainly made a performance out of his larger-than-life projects.

There was no denying Fiddleford’s brilliance. He had the most engineering and mechanical skill out of anyone Stanford knew. Even better than himself, which was something he seldom admitted to anyone. But it was the truth. Fiddleford Hadron McGucket was by far the best of the best in the world of robotics. And anyone who said otherwise was wrong.

Just being able to watch Fiddleford work was a treat itself. As his creation came together it quickly collected height. So much so that he soon had to resort to rigged swings and climbing equipment to finish the job. As he worked up off the ground like that Stanford couldn’t help but think of those old photos from the 1940’s of construction workers building the first skyscrapers. So high off the ground, only a pair of overalls and a utility belt for protection, and yet seeming so at ease. There was almost a beauty in how effortless Fiddleford made it seem. A grace he had while swinging from rig to rig, climbing up the structure with his hands and feet.

But when the light hit his face just right and Stanford could see Fiddleford’s hair shine golden, body covered in a thin sheen of sweat from his hard work, Stanford knew in his heart his feelings for the other man hadn’t changed at all.

He found he’d only grown to love Fiddleford Hadron McGucket even more...

Two hours later, Fiddleford came swinging down. Overalls covered in a layer of grim, hair frizzled and frumpy, face red and sweaty, and a satisfying smile that just looked ethereal on Fiddleford’s face.

“How’d it go?” Stanford asked as he ran back over from his own work to meet him. Handing the other man a towel.

“Pretty good I think!” Fiddleford sighed gratefully as he started to wipe off his face. “Got that wiring all straightened out! Now all that’s left is testing her out!”

“That’s wonderful! We should test it now!”

“You know Stanford it’s a good thing I like ya so much.” Fiddleford said with a tired smirk. “Been up there all day, and as soon as I get down you want me to keep on working!”

“You know you want to see your new invention just as much as I do!” Stanford replied. “Don’t even kid yourself Fidds.”

Chuckling to himself, Fiddleford went over to his work bench and grabbed the remote control he’d built for this his invention. He let his finger hover over the main controls before looking towards Stanford.

“Hang onto your butts…”

All at once, the remote buzzed and the colossal machine burst to life. Inbetween metal panels, there was a bright green glow. Panels began to bend and shift. Massive wings unfurled from either side of the robot. For a moment the creature turned its head to look at its master. Green eyes glowing with a light that feuled it from within. Then after Fiddleford pressed another button the remote buzzed again and the creature tilted its head back at gave out a massive prehistoric screech that made Stanford’s entire chest rattle.

“Not too bad for someone who said they were moving onto computer-work only, huh?”

Stanford looked up at the massive mechanic pterodactyl in awe. “Fiddleford… Fiddlford that was nowhere close to ‘not bad’. That was… That was amazing!”

“Aw shucks,” Fiddleford mumbled.

“No, I mean it!” Stanford continued. “This is a piece of history in the making here. This won’t just change the world of animatronics, but the entire world of robots and engineering itself!”

“You really think so?” Fiddleford asked.

“I know so!” Stanford tried to contain some of his excitement, sometimes he could get rather loud when he got carried away. “And Fiddleford? I couldn’t imagine this being made by anyone else but yourself. You really did a… a fantastic job here. There’s no way you won’t take first place in Dawngrove next week!”

“Aw, I don’t care about none of that.” Fiddleford sighed as he turned off his robo-dino. “I’m only doing this for lil’Tate. He’s the one who asked me to do all this after all.”

“And I’m certain Tate will adore this too.”

“I hope so...” Fiddleford said with another sigh. Looking back up at his incredible invention. “Ever since me and the missus split I feel like I haven’t seen him as often. When we are together I gotta make it mean something. For the both of us.”

Gently, Stanford took Fiddlford’s face in his hands, pulling him away so they were looking eye to eye.

“Believe me Fiddleford, next week Dawngrove’s Robotic Royal will be a day no one could ever forget!”

Leaning in closer, Stanford kissed him. And closing his eyes, Fiddleford could feel himself relaxing.

Slipping away. If only for a few moments...

 ~~~

 Sometimes it truly amazed Fiddleford how everything was coming back to him.

At least physically if not completely mentally. He was still working on that.

He counted it as a small success though when Stanford showed him a massive mechanical pterodactyl and he got the inkling of a sensation that he’d seen it before.

Raising one hand up, he touched one of its massive wings. It felt rougher than he’d expected it to. No doubt the metal had eroded some after years of hiding it away in such an abandoned place.

“I know I’ve seen this fella before…” Fiddleford pondered out loud, still lightly rubbing over the metal as if that would help him reveal the answer. He knew he’d made robotic pterodactyls before but this one didn’t seem as familiar. It definitely wasn’t the one he made for revenge after his retirement-party-fiasco. “Did we make this together?”

“Not really, I just watched.” Stanford answered. “You made this one on your own. It was for this competition out in Dawngrove California.”

“Dawngrove…” Fiddleford said slowly.

“Yes, does that town sound familiar at all?”

Fiddleford hummed a little before shaking his head. “It ain’t there right now, but it’ll come back. I can feel it rattle’n around in there.”

Stanford seemed a little disappointed, but decided to move on. “Well you and I brought that in for a robotics competition. A battle royal actually. You ended up getting first place. Your ex-wife and your son even came and we all cheered you on.”

The mention of his son brought a smile to his face. The details over everything were hazy but he always knew who Tate was. “He would have been around eight or nine right?”

“Yes, he was nine!” Stanford said.

Fiddleford chuckled at the thought. “He was such a little squirt back then. Always hiding under that big mop of hair…”

Stanford grumbled as he looked around. He wished he had more photos from that day. In his experience with Stanley photos help jogged Stan’s memory the best. Unfortunately he didn’t have any photos from that day. He was however able to find a few newspaper clippings he’d held onto from that day. Carefully picking it up the fragile paper so it didn’t disintegrate, Stanford brought it over for Fiddleford to see.

“Look here,” Stanford pointed to the main picture under the headline ‘Super Scientist and Father Wins Grand Prize with his Dynamic Dino!’ where there was a black and white photo of the Pterodactyl back in its golden years. “If you look towards the bottom near the pterodactyl’s feet you can see a few figures. That’s me on the right, you on the left, and you’re holding Tate in the middle of us.”

The article itself was so damaged it was illegible. But Fiddleford could just make out their figures Stanford was pointing to in the picture. The picture was so old the image had begun to fade some too, mostly on the left side. His whole body was faded out. But with enough focus he could just make out Stanford and Tate’s faces. Both were beaming at the camera. Grinning with pride. Fiddleford realized they’d been proud of him.

“You two sure seemed happy…” Fiddleford said with a sigh.

“And we still are.” Stanford continued. “You have no idea how happy I am to be here with you. To have a second chance at making things right with you. With everyone.”

Fiddleford nodded but didn’t look up from the picture. As if trying to memorize their faces in case this memory never came back to him. When he didn’t focus as hard he could almost recall some things. Mostly phantom feelings. Like holding a giggling Tate close to his chest. Or swinging up on a rig, shouting to Stanford down below. Walking hand in hand with both of them…

“I’m happy I get a second chance too.” Fiddleford replied softly.

Eventually they’d seen everything they could and together, hand in hand, they walked back out of that old warehouse back into the world. They’d been in there reminiscing so long they’d missed sunset. It was already night and the moon hung low in the sky, darting out from behind trees as they walked.

Stanford’s six-fingered hand felt so warm in Fiddleford’s own. How he’d spent all those years alone, Fiddleford didn’t know, but now that Stanford was back in his life he knew he couldn’t bear to go back to the way things had once been. The world had changed so much, and they’d both changed so much with it. But Fiddleford could feel it in his heart that what they had between themselves was still as special as it was back then.

And when the light hit his face just right Fiddleford could see Stanford’s hair shine silver, and his eyes practically sparkling under the moon, Fiddleford knew in his heart his feelings for the other man hadn’t changed at all.

He found he’d only grown to love Stanford Filbrick Pines even more.