#i didnt know it was him at first in the dream he camera just panned up and there was his face looking over his shoulder just smouldering

[khihi]

guys i had a dream last night that jere posted a thirst trap of him wearing like this asymetrical sparkly green bodysuit thing

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Tiny Prince, Crumpled Dreams

Prompts: Hi! I just wanted you to know that your Roman angst fics are amazing, they're really painful and they're lots of fun to read. I dunno if youre taking requests but if you are, could you do a fic where Roman traps himself in a unending nightmare as punishment for hurting Thomas and making the sides hate him, even though they dont. When the sides find Roman in bed upset and not waking up they have to manually wake him up themselves somehow. And then DLAMP hurt/comfort cuddles happen afterwards - transformationloveb

In case prompts are still open, would you maybe consider writing a roceit angst fic where after the events of POF, Roman doesn't use Janus' name and instead calls him Deceit because he thinks he doesn't deserve to use his name (which Janus had given as a sign of trust), but Janus, who was feeling guilty about the whole situation thinks it's a way of mocking and slighting him? Misunderstandings abound until Janus finally confronts Roman and then they start realizing what happened and it turns into sort of a hurt/comfort, with both of them comforting each other. Anyway, I love your fics and I think you're an incredible writer! - residentfangirl2104

Idk if you're taking prompts but I have one if you are! ehhehehe... Maybe there are some of Romans scenes that Thomas cut from the 5 year anniversary video. Because Roman freaked out on camera and later asked him to cut them out OR Thomas cut some that Roman liked out because he didnt like them but oh no, Roman's feelings are now crushed... cue the other sides finding the cut scenes. Angst. HAVE AN AMAZING DAY AND DRINK SOME WATER *Throws a water bottle in your general direction* - anon

Hi! If you're still taking prompts for Sanders Sides, I'd love to see your take on "feeling small" being uncomfortably literal, like shrinking-to-Borrower-size literal. I adore your writing, like, you're up there with SoDoRoses of Love and Other Fairy Tales fame for my favorite Sanders Sides writer. Thank you for sharing your work with us.~ - amaranthinepaladin

your stories are always so good! could i possibly suggest one where roman keeps his dreams in a drawer to look at when he's sad (I got this idea from peter pan but he does already have several things like it in your stories and you do love that roman angst) - impossiblysporadiccreation

First off… your work is absolutely incredible! I can’t tell you how many hours of sleep I’ve tossed aside to read it, every time you post a new fic it absolutely makes my day! Secondly, I have but one simple request, I need Roman to suffer, I simply cannot get enough angst and you do it so well, I mean I love him but at the same time… you know how it is - anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: roman traps himself in a self-depricating nightmare, nothing explicit

Pairings: dlampr, can be platonic or romantic i don’t care

Word Count: 5205

Thomas has lots of dreams.

Roman's job is to take care of those dreams, look after them, do everything he can to nurture them and make sure they grow up to come true one day. But the world isn't kind to dreams, not when they struggle to exist outside of a piece of paper tucked into the drawer of a desk.

...nightmares, though. Nightmares are easy.

So when everything goes wrong and dreams seem impossibly out of reach, Roman reaches for a nightmare he won't wake up from.

“Roman! Roman!”

“Why isn’t he waking up?”

“I don’t know, what—is he still breathing?”

“I’ve got a pulse!”

“Roman!”

———

Thomas has lots of dreams. 

When Roman was—well, when all of them were younger, including Thomas, those dreams would swell and swell and swell into big golden bubbles, floating to the top of Roman’s room. Sometimes he wouldn’t even go to sleep at night, just lying on his bed and staring up at them. The light would bounce around the room and fill it with warm colors, flashes of images of lights on a stage, of walking red carpets, or working on movies that would send them to stardom, or any number of things. How could you go to sleep when something like that was right in front of you?

Then Thomas would be up the next day a little groggy and unfocused and Roman would remember that yes, he had to sleep in order to dream. 

Now that they’re older, the dreams no longer bubble up with such frequency. Instead, Roman keeps them in the drawer in his desk. 

Some of them add themselves to big folders, making the papers crinkle as they shifted together. Some of them were brand new, sitting neatly off to the side in another stack, waiting patiently to be sorted through after everyone was awake. And some of them were on just scraps of paper, jotted down with an impatient hand and tossed inside. 

Roman would sit and go through them at the end of each day, sorting away the ones that could be added to files, which ones needed to be made new, and which ones could be tossed away. Not in the trash, no, but into the unsorted piles, just in case. 

The drawer didn’t have its own compartments, but he didn’t mind. Dreams weren’t supposed to be tightly constrained, they were just supposed to be…guided every once in a while. To make sure they didn’t clash with each other. Especially since Logan and Thomas liked to sit and think together for a long time, sometimes they’d come ask Roman for a file and it wouldn’t do to have the files mixed up. 

…and it wouldn’t do for Roman to accidentally give them his file either.

———

“What happened? Why is he like this?”

“Stay with us, Roman, don’t go anywhere.”

“Wake up, Roman! Why isn’t he waking up?”

———

Roman knows he dreams for Thomas. He doesn’t dream for himself. He can’t. That’s not how his role works. He doesn’t create for himself, he creates for Thomas. 

He learned that long ago, when they’d told him he needs to create good dreams for Thomas, the right dreams for Thomas, ones that would be useful to him and help him be a good person. So he learned that he’s only allowed to be happy when Thomas is happy with his dreams and so he needs to learn how to make them right. 

But sometimes Roman has dreams that aren’t for Thomas. 

When he let that slip, Patton’s eyes had widened and Logan had been quick to explain that it was alright, that was his job, to think of ideas, but they didn’t all have to be good. That wasn’t how having ideas worked. 

(It should be, Roman had thought, that’s what I’m supposed to do.)

So all of the ideas that weren’t for Thomas went in their own folder. Where Roman could look at them and keep them separate and maybe, just maybe, if he found something that could work as a dream for Thomas, he could workshop it into something for Thomas to dream. 

The keyword there was ‘maybe.’

Thomas had his own dreams. Thomas had his own things that he wanted to dream. And Roman was Roman, so he helped make Thomas’s dreams his. And he kept his own dreams separate, because that is what he was supposed to do. 

And when he wasn’t dreaming, when he couldn’t dream, or when his hands started to fade again because he couldn’t believe in himself, he would go find his folder and hunker down under his blankets and he would read about his dreams. 

Sometimes, if he were lucky, he could read a few of the words and close his eyes and have the dream again. Or at least he could lose himself in it enough to forget everything, just for a little while, to disappear into the aether of what it was to be Roman who could dream until he could come back and be himself. 

To lose oneself in the unreality in order to touch the real again. 

When he couldn’t deliver the right ideas for videos, he would lose himself in dreams. 

When he couldn’t suggest the right words for the songs they would sing, he would scan the words until he was so swollen with them that he had to close his eyes to let them free. 

When he couldn’t do his job to make Thomas happy, he curled shaking hands around the dreams and imagined he could.

———

“Alright, Roman, thanks for filming with us today.”

“Oh, but of course! After all, you can’t make a five-year anniversary without me! I am one of the Core Sides, after all!”

“…yeah, buddy, you sure are.”

“Sorry, is that too much?”

“No, no, I mean, it’s in character with what the viewers will be expecting, so…”

“Okay. Got it.”

“Is it gonna be too much for you? This is supposed to be a more serious episode, so I’m sure you could tone it down if you wanted to.”

“No, no, that’s the role we’ve—I’ve built up to, so we can’t have me breaking character here.”

“Alright. Ready?”

“Act One!”

———

Thomas is upset again. And it’s his fault. 

He…they’d worked so hard for the callback! That audition had been stellar, they’d done so well, and the director had even mentioned that they’d been excited for him to do a screen test the next time! 

So of course, he’d been a little overwhelmed to look at the schedule to make sure they didn’t have anything else going on, but come on! It was an Alfred Hitchcoppolucas movie! 

…so yeah, maybe he’d been a bit quick to dismiss the fact that they’d made up their minds to go support Lee and Mary Lee and implied that it would be a waste of time compared to the chance to be in a movie, but…

…and maybe he’d been a bit too quick to speak for Thomas because he wanted to go so badly…

…and maybe he wanted to listen to Deceit because he was agreeing with him…

…even though that’s what happened last time…

…and everyone was saying Deceit was bad…

…but that’s what happened last time with Virgil! Thomas didn’t like Virgil, had even gone so far as to say he hoped and dreamed to get rid of his Anxiety, and what was Roman supposed to do? Roman was supposed to help Thomas achieve his hopes and dreams! And here Thomas had been, explicitly telling him what his hopes and dreams were!

But now Virgil was here to stay and Roman didn’t actually dislike Virgil, and—and if they acted that way with Virgil, they should act like that with Deceit, right?

…right?

“Ooh, I'm afraid that's wrong. It's actually spelled W-R-O-A-M-M-I-N.”

Roman shudders, running his hands over his shoulders to make sure he’s still real. He is Roman. That’s his name, he spelled it correctly, he is here, he is what he is supposed to be. He blinks a few times at his desk drawer and shakes away the last vestiges of Deceit’s voice. 

Shaking fingers reach for the lock and twist, opening the drawer and reaching in for his file. He pulls it out, pushing the drawer shut and walking over to his bed. His shoes land at the edge of the bed as he crawls in, tucking the file under his chin. 

He looks down at the piece of paper in his hands. The words Psycho Godfather Wars II are just visible amidst the tear stains. He opens the folder and slides it inside, closing his eyes and pulling the blanket up over his head. 

He’d been wrong. He sent Thomas to the wedding because that was the right thing to do. He didn’t fight for the callback that everyone had said was so unlikely that they would win because it was the right thing to do. He didn’t bother trying to listen to Deceit and instead listened to Patton because it was the right thing to do. 

…it was the right thing to do. 

So why, Roman thinks as his breaths turn slowly to sobs, does it feel like this?

———

“We’re losing him!”

“Roman? Roman, you’ve got to fight, okay? We need you to stay with us.”

———

“Roman? You here, buddy?”

“What? Yes, yes, sorry, I got distracted. Where were we?”

“Uh, let’s see…ah, yeah. Okay, so how are you feeling about what arc your character’s gone on so far?”

“Ah, yes, my character arc! Truly, the most defining aspect of a story, how you know things have changed, adventures have been had! And, honestly, what an adventure we’ve had over these five years, haven’t we Thomas? We’ve gone on dates, talked about old boyfriends, heck, even found a new one!”

“Well, Nico and I—“

“Oh, I know, I know, it’s too soon, but you can’t blame me for hoping!”

“That is your job.”

“Exactly!”

“…you didn’t answer the question, Roman.”

“Didn’t I?”

“No, you just…kinda talked about what character arcs are.”

“Ah. Well, uh…”

“You gotta speak up, buddy, I don’t think the mic got that.”

“…we haven’t gotten to mine yet, have we?”

“Huh?”

“Well, we’ve had…Virgil’s arc, then we’ve started—mostly through Patton’s, and we’ve introduced some new characters, but I…”

“…you’re saying you don’t have an answer for this question?”

“Sorry. You can cut that out, I think that opening bit can serve as a pretty good cut for someone else.”

“Sure.”

“Moving on?”

———

He knew the wedding would be bad and so he hid. He hid under his blankets with the file tucked close to his chest and his eyes squeezed shut, trying to lose himself in a dream, in something else, just to get away from the way the callback dream burns his hands. But the loneliness wormed its way under the covers and up through his fingers, finding some soft part of his brain to burrow into and make itself at home. 

“Hey. You okay, buddy? You look real sad in this photo I just took. Don’t worry, I’ll crop you out.”

Roman winced, anxiously ripping open the file and scanning it for something, anything, even the stupidest thing to lose them in, to get them out of here, to let them stop hurting here and now, just—just to make it go away. Make it not real. 

But he was real. 

This was real. 

This wasn’t a dream. 

And it dragged Roman through by his ankles, forcing his limbs up by puppet strings and grabbing his mouth so hard there was blood in his smile. 

When Thomas arrived home, he sprung up right away, trying to say something, anything to make it better, but then he remembered. 

This was his fault, so he’s better off staying quiet. So he stays quiet. 

That’s…that’s right.

———

“How do you feel about, uh, talking a bit more about the wedding?”

“Don’t say that word in front of me!”

“…you already used that, bud.”

“Oh, did I? My apologies, um, give it to me again.”

“Are you sure? We don’t…have to talk about this if you don’t want to.”

“No, no, you know the fans will be upset or at least confused if we don’t mention it at all.”

“Yeah, but I can talk about it with the others.”

“Tt, and get what? Patton isn’t going to change his mind, Logan doesn’t want to talk about it anyway, and Virgil and Remus weren’t even there.”

“What about Janus?”

“…what about him?”

———

Roman collapses to the ground, panting and groaning as another bruise opens up on his ribs. 

“Oh, Roman, thank god you don’t have a mustache.”

He throws his head back, gritting his teeth against the pain. 

“Otherwise, between you and Remus…”

A wordless yell escapes his throat as an ice-cold fist plants itself into his stomach. 

“…I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is.”

As tears slip from the corners of his eyes, he regrets ever telling Remus he understood what it was like to have your body decide it didn’t want to be real anymore. 

Roman grunts, heaving himself onto the other side as another smattering of bruises emerge. The pain doesn’t waver, only intensifies, as the words echo back and double over on themselves. He squeezes his eyes shut, ignoring the burn as the tears slip saltwater into open wounds, and tries, tries, tries to get away from the pain. 

It’s no use. 

Other wounds, older wounds on the inside add their input as he writhes there. Whispers of wrong, wrong, wrong, and broken promises, and empty words, and loveless lies. A bone-crushing disappointment that makes him want to clutch his hands to his chest, a sick sense of rejection that makes his throat loosen just enough to scream, and the terrible silence of…of…

“I thought I was your hero.”

He thought he was doing the right thing. 

“I thought I was your hero.”

He thought this was what Thomas wanted. 

“I thought…hero.”

He thought…

“I thought…”

He…

———

“Well, for starters, do you want to tell me why you can’t say his name?”

“…I can say his name, Thomas.”

“Okay, fine, why you won’t say his name?”

…

“Take your time, it’s okay.”

“…what right do I have to say it?”

“What?”

“He revealed his name to us, Thomas. To you. That was—that was the most vulnerable we’ve ever seen him, do you know how much trust that took? To do something like that? To make himself that powerless for even a moment?”

“…it sounds like you do.”

“Yeah, because I’ve played it over and over so many times I can practically do it by heart now.”

“Wait, what?”

“…cut that out.”

———

The first time Roman trapped himself in a nightmare, it was an accident. 

Thomas had seen a trailer for a horror movie and Roman hadn’t been able to stop looking at it. Couldn’t stop seeing the darkness getting closer and closer, couldn’t keep the feeling of dread from taking root in his chest and pressing against his ribs. 

Remus had been the one to find him, shaking him awake and scolding him that he’s the one that’s supposed to be giving Thomas nightmares, not Roman! Roman had blinked awake, eyes teary, mouth panting, and Remus had taken one look at his face and promptly wrapped him up in a hug, muttering something about keeping squishy little brothers safe. 

The second time Roman had trapped himself in a nightmare, it was an experiment. 

He didn’t know he could do it, it just…happened. Thomas had a bad dream, probably due to how loudly Virgil and Remus had been fighting with Patton over something and Logan had huddled outside his door to make sure he was alright. Roman had said he was, sending him away, only for a crumpled scrap of paper to appear in the desk. He’d looked at it, mouth dropping open in horror as he realized what it was. 

But he hadn’t been able to stop reading. 

The words had swallowed him whole, drowning him in a sea of letters that opened the door to the unreality and sent him spiraling down, down, down where he would never be found again. He only managed to claw himself out of it in time for Thomas to wake up when he’d spotted a gap. 

He hadn’t closed the desk drawer. 

He burst from it into his room, crumpling the page up and locking the desk drawer tight, scrambling away to catch his breath. His chest had been on fire, his limbs aching and numb, his face wet with tears. 

It was over, but he…he figured out what it was. 

The third time he trapped himself in a nightmare, it was on purpose.

———

“He’s fading again, we need to wake him up now!”

“I don’t know how! Has this ever happened before?”

“Roro, you—you gotta let us help you, please, you—you have to—“

“Remus, are you sure this worked last time?”

“It did! I don’t know why it’s not now!”

“Roman, please, wake up, wake up!”

——��

“Okay, okay, I will, but…can you at least answer me? Even if it’s not going in?”

“You’re not going to move on until I do, are you?”

“I mean, I will if you really don’t want to answer…but I think you do.”

“When did you get so perceptive?”

“Five years, Roman, that’s a lot of time.”

“…yeah, I guess.”

“So…what did you mean?”

“Thomas…I know I’ve…been the bad guy.”

“What? No, no, you haven’t, Roman, you’ve—“

“Let me finish, please?”

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s alright, I just…hhh, I have…I have been the reason a lot of things have happened recently, if not directly, then…at least I’ve had some big role.”

“Roman, it’s not like we have a big cast here, everyone has.”

“Thomas, I’m the one who sent you to the wedding. I’m the one who decided it was a good idea to try and lie to Joan. I’m the one who pushed you until Remus showed up.”

“Roman—“

“I’m the one who mocked Dec—the one who ruined and hurt someone when they were the most vulnerable.”

“…Roman, that day was hard on everybody. You’re not the only one who hurt someone.”

“No? I’m the only one who actively did something that I knew was going to hurt. I’m the one who pressed ‘ignorant,’ I slashed Logan, and I…well, we all know how I left that video.”

“…I…”

“It’s okay, Thomas, you can say it. I’ve accepted it too.”

“No, that’s not it, I—wait, you what?”

“…Thomas, I can’t say his name. I—I haven’t earned it. He offered that as a sign of trust, and I—well, I did a great job of proving why I don’t deserve it.”

“But you—he—he hurt you too, Roman, I know he did—“

“And? He didn’t use that hurt to deliberately make me feel like the worst person in the world!”

“…isn’t that what happened right after you…said what you said?”

“Yeah, right after I proved why I shouldn’t be trusted with something like that?”

“…yeah.”

“Yeah.”

…

“…look, I’m not—I don’t dislike him. I don’t. I…he’d be a better main cast member than I would.”

“Whoa, whoa, wait, Roman—“

“Come on, Thomas, you’ve seen the fans. They love his character, if not as a person, then as a character. They went crazy for his arc, they eat up every single interpretation they can, they—god, have you seen how much content is about him?”

“…yeah, but they love you too, Roman.”

…

“…sorry.”

“It’s not your fault I can’t believe you.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No, Thomas, that’s…that’s mine.”

“…so what do we do?”

“There isn’t much we can do. I…I have to work on earning his trust, we still have a show to do and we have arcs planned, it’ll be worse if we throw them off the rails now. We just have to—I just have to get my shit together.”

“Don’t let Patton hear you say that.”

“Then I guess you’d better cut all of this out and put it where no one can find it.”

———

Remus’s nightmares send you deep into unreality. They bent the shadows to their will and drowned you in the worst version of what if, what if, what if? You got caught in swirls and swirls of the worst your imagination could come up with, taunting you with how deeply they could pull you in and make it impossible to find your way out. 

That’s why Logan was so good at pulling you out. It wasn’t real, you could ground yourself in that. It wasn’t real, it couldn’t hurt you, it was just in your head. 

Roman’s nightmares hurt because you know they’re unreality. 

You are not important. Only in the unreality are you important. 

You are not kind. Only in the unreality are your efforts actually appreciated, are they worthwhile. 

You are not wanted. Only in the unreality are you wanted. 

Only in the unreality can you walk among them like they’re your friends, your family, and not be so small that they could crush you beneath their weight. 

Only in the unreality would they care enough to find you when they haven’t seen you in days, enough to break down your door out of worry. 

Only in the unreality would they desperately run to Thomas to ask what’s wrong, only then would Thomas show them the footage he promised to delete. 

But this is not unreality. 

This is real.

———

“Roman,” someone is calling, “Roman, please.”

“He’s—he’s moving! Look, I saw his hand move!”

“Roman, Princey, can you hear us?”

“It moved again, Roman—“

“Roro, wake the fuck up!”

Roman’s eyes creak open slowly, moving around to drag his blankets over his head. The blanket won’t move. He tugs it harder. 

“Yes, Roman, it’s alright, we’re here, we won’t leave, you’ve got me.”

“Logan, bring him closer to the desk, we don’t want him to fall.”

“At this rate, he won’t, not with the grip he’s got.”

“Awful strong for a little guy, isn’t he?”

“Roro?” Remus sounds close. “Roro, can you hear me?”

Roman blinks. And blinks. And blinks. 

“R-Remus?”

Remus’s giant face splits into a grin. “Oh, thank Kraken tentacles, you’re okay.”

“He’s about two inches tall,” comes Virgil’s voice from over—oh, he’s in Logan’s hand—wait, he’s what?

“Roman,” Logan’s voice says sharply, “Roman, hold still, I don’t want to drop you.”

Roman freezes, then slowly looks down at his hands. He’s…he’s clutching a watch band. A watchband where the face of the watch is almost as big as he is. He’s being cradled in…

“Easy,” Logan soothes, bringing his other hand up to hold Roman more securely, “I won’t drop you. Just let me set you down, alright?”

“Make sure he’s got something from one of us to hold onto,” Remus says as Logan eases him onto the desk, “otherwise he’ll think we’re leaving.”

That is precisely the bolt of fear that shoots across Roman’s mind as Logan's hands start to move away, but then Remus is jumping onto the desk and sliding his own palm down to him. 

“Jesus Remus, don’t crush him!”

“I know, I know.” He softens his voice and leans down. “Hey, Ro-Bro, you feeling small?”

Roman just nods dumbly.

“That’s okay, you’re okay, do you wanna come here and hold onto me?”

Roman struggles to stand up but he—

“Whoa!” Virgil dives forward and holds his hands near the edge of the desk as Roman wobbles dangerously. “Calm down, Princey, you’ve—well, you’ve been asleep for who knows how long and you’re tiny, take it easy.”

“I—I—“

“Shh-shh-shh,” Logan murmurs, bending down so Roman can see him, “it’s alright, Roman, you’re okay. You’re just small.”

Roman looks around, trying to figure out what happened, why he’s like this, when his eyes land on the open desk drawer and the crumpled-up piece of paper.

Remus follows his gaze and his eyes widen. 

“Oh, Roro…”

“What?” Virgil stands up quickly. “What is it?”

Remus swallows with difficulty, picking Roman up as gently as he can and cupping him against his chest. “It’s okay, now, Ro, we’ve got you, you’re okay.”

“Remus, what’s happening?”

“Roman trapped himself in a nightmare,” Remus explains in a quiet voice, “and he’s…he’s having trouble coming out of it.”

“…he imagined he was small?” 

“No, Emo, he—he’s—“ Remus lets out a frustrated noise. “He’s done this because he feels bad about everything that’s been happening and he’s made himself feel small.”

“…so the stuff that we watched, that was…real?” Logan’s face pales. “Oh, dear…”

“Is he awake?”

“Is he alright?”

“Whoa,” Remus growls as Patton and D—someone else slams through the door, “easy, you two, don’t freak him out.”

Patton doesn’t pay much heed to the warning and bustles over, letting out a wounded noise at seeing Roman curled up and clutching Remus’s sash, his hands flying to his mouth. 

“Oh, Roman, kiddo, I’m so sorry.”

“P-Patton?”

“Yeah, sweetheart, it’s me, I’m right here.” He reaches out a trembling hand and carefully pats Roman’s back. “It’s okay.”

Roman shudders at the warmth of it, letting Remus relax his grip enough to set him in his lap. He looks up at the sea of concerned faces and tries to find the words to explain what’s happening. Or ask them to explain what’s happening. 

…or maybe this isn’t real either. Maybe he’s still—

“Hey, nuh-uh,” Remus says, gently tugging on his shirt, “you’re awake now, Roro, you’re here with us.”

“Promise?”

“I promise. See?” Remus gives him the gentlest prod to his stomach. “Real. Right here.”

“Then why am I still sm—small?”

“You’re overwhelmed, little one,” Logan says softly, “and you’ve—well, from what it sounds like, you’ve been trapped in a nightmare for at least a week. It might take a while for everything to…wear off, so to speak.”

“Come on, Roro,” Remus says, scooping him up again, “let’s get you to your bed, that might help.”

Roman clutches Remus’s sash and the others give them a wide berth as Remus sets him down on his bed. As soon as he does, something bubbles in his chest and he gasps. 

“There,” Remus murmurs, “let’s get you out of there, huh?”

“What—why—“

“Unreality,” Remus says as the others crowd around, trying to ask questions, “it’s the stuff we use to make dreams. If you spend too long in it, you can—well, it can get stuck to you. Then you gotta find a tether or something to pull you back out.”

“And in this case…” Virgil touches the covers. “It’s Roman’s bed?”

“This is where you come when you’re done, isn’t it, Roro?”

Roman nods, too busy trying to worm his way under the covers. 

“Oh, shit, I gotcha—there,” Remus’s voice grows muffled as he drapes the blanket over him, “now you just stay under there for a second, Roro, you’ll be okay.”

Roman closes his eyes and tries. Tries to be here, tries to be real, tries—but the unreality clings to him and he can’t. It’s too—it’s too perfect. This sounds like something that he would break just because he could and he can’t believe this. It’s too close to what he wants. 

Then there’s a soft murmur and a hush falls over the room. Roman stills, trying to figure out what’s going on, before a gentle weight touches the blanket over him. 

“Sweetie,” someone murmurs, and Roman’s eyes shoot open, “sweetie, I’m not sure if you can hear me, or if…you can tell, but I don’t have my gloves on right now.”

Something in Roman’s chest burns. 

“I saw the footage, sweetie,” the voice continues, “I…I’m so sorry.”

No. No, this…this can’t be real. 

“I didn’t mean for this to happen, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” A sniffle. “And I definitely didn’t mean to hurt you like this.”

Roman’s body starts to tingle. 

“It’s not your fault, Roman, I promise. You don’t have to blame yourself like this, or punish yourself like this.” They swallow heavily. “Or…or for what I did to you.”

He wouldn’t imagine this. He wouldn’t dare. 

“You can use my name if you want to, Roman. I promise.”

“J—“ He chokes. 

“Yes, sweetie, it’s okay.”

“J-Janus?”

“Yes, sweetie, it’s me, I’m right here, why don’t you shake off the last of the nightmare so we can take care of you?”

“You’re—you’re really here?”

A soft chuckle. “Come on up here and see for yourself.”

———

The desk drawer slides shut with all its papers, except a crumpled piece of paper that lies in the trash can.

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[islesnucks]

LAST NIGHT I TOLD YOU I LOVED YOU - NOLAN PATRICK X READER

this started as a tyler seguin fic, was almost a brock boeser one for a second and turned out to be about Nolan lol

this was not proofread so yeah keep that in mind as you read it 

Word Count: 2k

Warning: mention of alcohol (?)

Smmary: the morning after you drunkenly confessed your feelings to Nolan - slightly inspired by the song Last Night by Lucy Spraggan

Masterlist

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-

Last night I told you I loved you

Woke up blamed it on the Vodka

I genuinely thought I was dyin'

And I could see that smile you were hiding

-

You woke up and the first thing you felt was pain. There was a banging in your head and your stomach felt sick. Memories from last night were blurry, there surely was alcohol involved. The last thing you remembered was walking into the bar with Nolan and TK by your side, then there was vodka involved. Or was it tequila? Maybe even both?

Feeling like the slightest move would make you throw up, you decided to snuggle further into the sheets trying to go back to sleep, hoping a couple more hours of sleep would make you feel better. That’s when you heard barks coming from outside the room, making your head pound. Then your eyes went wide when it hit you: you don’t own any dogs.

Looking around you confirmed this indeed wasn’t your bedroom, it was Nolan’s. The curtains were shut so the room was dark and you couldn’t see much, but you were able to make out your dress from last night folded on top of the armchair beside the bed.

You looked down and realized you indeed weren’t using your clothes, instead you had one of his old shirts on. Then you noticed your underwear was still on, a good sign you thought. But still you couldn’t remember anything from last night and that terrified you.

You weren't scared of what you could have done, you knew having the boys by your side ensure you nothing bad would happen. So you weren't scared that you had somehow ended up drunkenly dancing on top of  a table or making out with a complete stranger. No, the problem was that alcohol always loosened your tongue. What you were scared of was having confessed something you had worked so hard on holding in.

Gathering a little courage and still feeling like you may throw up any second, you got out of bed and made your way out of the room. The clacking of a pan and smell coming from the kitchen let you know Nolan was probably there cooking some breakfast or maybe lunch, you didn’t know what time it was. Taking one last deep breath, trying to calm your nerves, you made your way down the hall to the kitchen.

He was with his back to you, too busy stirring something on a pan to realize you had entered the room. That’s when his dogs approached you excited to see you, making him turn around to find you still half asleep, hair in a messy bun, some rests of makeup from last night on your face, dressed in his shirt that were long enough to cover everything. You were sure you looked horrible but he found it cute, the smile that formed on his face showed it.

“Hey, you’re alive.” He turned off the stove and proceeded to place what turned out to be scrambled eggs on two plates.

“I feel like shit.” You took a seat on one of the barstools by the kitchen island.

“Sorry, did the bark wake you? I was keeping them in the living room so they wouldn’t bother you but Charlie sneaked out.” he said, giving the dog a stern look, but Charlie was too distracted enjoying as you petted him to notice.

“No don’t worry I was already awake, agonizing in bed, but awake.”

He placed the plate with everything he had cooked and a cup of coffee in front of you and you thanked him as he took a seat next to you. He was quiet per usual, but the Nolan you knew would have thrown some snarky remark about how much of a lightweight you are and he’s never going out with you again. That concerned you a bit. However he seemed normal, no awkward looks or anything that made you think you had messed up in any way last night.

“Do you remember anything from last night?” he suddenly said bringing you back to reality. There it was, something did happen. You could feel your heart in your throat, but you tried to play it cool.

“No… Wait we didn’t-”

“No!” he was quick to cut you off, slightly offended that you thought that could’ve happened. “You were wasted Y/N, I’d never take advantage like that.” He then realized he admitted nothing happened because you were drunk, not because he didn’t want it to happen; but you were too busy panicking to realize.

“I know, I know. It’s just that I woke up in your bed, with your clothes on.” you tried to explain.

“We ubered back here, you were asleep the whole ride, I helped you change your clothes and gave you my bed. I slept on the couch.” Relief washed over your body, deep down you knew nothing like that could have happened, but hearing it made you feel better, like a huge weight was being taken off your shoulders.

“Thank you Nols, you didn’t have to.”

“Leaving you alone in your apartment in the state you were in felt wrong.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m glad to know I didn’t do anything too stupid at the club.” you said, letting out a deep breath you didn’t even notice you had been holding on to.

“Well you didn’t do anything stupid at the club...” He didn't finish but that was enough to make you choke on the coffee you had been drinking.

“Shit what did I do?”

“Nothing, nothing. Don’t worry.” He brushed it off as he stood with his empty plate in hand and walked over to the sink.

“Nolan …” you questioned him, but he still wouldn’t look at you. Yet you could see the smile he was trying to hide and that was all the confirmation you needed. Something definitely happened. You got off your seat and made your way around the kitchen island.

“Nolan James Patrick. What did I do?” Your stern tone made him finally turn around with a look on his face you couldn’t quite explain, which only made your nerves grow.

“You said something.” 

“Shit.”

“You really don't remember?” He walked till he was standing next to you. “We were here, I had already helped you change, you were in bed ...” he started to explain, hoping it would refresh your memories because he didn’t have it in him to actually tell you what you had said.

And just like that the memory from last night hit you.

~

“This sucks.” you said letting yourself fall on the bed, not even trying to position yourself correctly.

“Well you should’ve stopped after the third shot like I told you.” Nolan was too busy folding your clothes to see the way you rolled your eyes.

“Not that. This. You are being so nice with me and it sucks.”

“You lost me there princess.” he said confused, brows narrowing but with a playful smile still on his face, the way you rambled incongruently was too cute for him not to.

“Because I’m just going to fall harder for you and I shouldn’t because we’re friends Patty. I can’t be in love with my friend.” you let out matter-of-factly, clearly all products of the alcohol that was still running through your veins.

He could not believe what he was hearing. His heart stopped at your words, but he tried to convince himself he had heard it wrong, God knows the many times he dreamed of you saying those words.

“It sucks that I’m in love with you.” you added and there was no denying it, he heard it clear this time.

“Y/N …” he started to say as he turned around but words died in his mouth when he realized you were already asleep.

~

“Shit!” you let out and your hands instantly went to cover your face. You had screwed it big time. Sure you could blame it on the alcohol but Nolan knew you, he knew you wouldn’t just invent something like that. And even if it worked, your friendship would never be like it was before.

“Just forget I ever said that, okay? I was drunk and I didnt know what I was saying. Fuck. I'm the worst'' you started to ramble as you walked around the kitchen, unable to keep still because of the anxious feeling deep in your chest. It felt like your world was spinning out of control and all you could think about was all you had lost the moment alcohol got the best of you and you confessed your feelings.

All of a sudden Nolan was standing in front of you, placing his hands on your sides to stop your pacing. You couldn’t look him in the face, knowing the moment he saw you he’d realized how much you meant everything you said last night.

“Hey calm down” He started caressing your arms gently up and down in a reassuring manner.

“I'm so sorry.” you said, tears threatening to fall down your face any moment. 

“Well I'm not.” he replied with a humorous tone that threw you off. You shoot your head up at him with a confused expression that only intensified once you realized he was smiling sheepishly at you.

“I’m actually really glad that happened because now I don’t have to worry about how you may react when I tell you how I feel about you.”

“I think the alcohol killed all my brain cells because I don’t understand a thing you're saying.”

Nolan rolled his eyes at your comment but couldn’t hide the smile on this face. His hands went to cup your face, pulling you closer to him as he wiped away gently with his thumb a few tears that you hadn’t been able to keep in.

“What I’m trying to say is: I love you too.” he said looking into your eyes tenderly.

“I swear if TK comes out of nowhere holding a camera or something I’m murdering both of you-”

“I’m not joking! I love you Y/N. I have for the longest time and I’m a little embarrassed it took you drunkenly confessing how you feel for me to have the balls to say it.” Nolan’s cheeks turned red and you had to bite your lip to not make a comment about it. His eyes full of adoration never left yours, making you feel the all too familiar butterflies, but this time it didn’t feel wrong. This time you didn’t have to hide it or push it away. No, because this time you knew he felt the same.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked softly and all you could do was nod. He started to lean in, heart beating fast in his chest just like yours. 

“Wait.” you said, stopping him when he was less than an inch away from connecting your lips. He pulled away to look down at you confused, hands still resting against your cheeks. “I haven't washed my teeth.” He let out a chuckle.

“I couldn't care less.” he said, leaning down to finally kiss you.

It started sweet and gently, neither of you could believe it was happening, too scared any second you’d wake up and realize it was all a dream. That was until your hands met on the back of his neck, tangling your fingers in his hair and bringing him closer, deepening the kiss. His hands left your face and moved down your back, pressing you against him as much as possible, clutching to you in any way possible. The kiss intensified with the second and you could not stop, you had been craving each other for so long it felt almost intoxicating to finally know what the other’s lips felt like.

-

thank you for reading, hope you liked it! likes and reblogs are always appreciated!

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[torishasupremacy]

had a dream I watched the last two episode of season 4 (???) of cobra kai and it awoke emotions I have never felt before. ive been awake since 6:45 which is earlier than I wakeup on a weekday rip. anyways heres the dream:

I was very excited because the second to last episode’s thumbnail had aisha’s face in it and I wanted my girl back!!. It started off with a movie night at hawk’s house only hawk wasn’t there. Stingray was and everyone just stared at him when he spoke like “what are you doing here??”. Johnny and Daniel showed up at cobra kai to talk to robby but he yelled at them until they left. Kreese watched JD from Heathers who was apparently a cobra do crescent kicks in his trenchcoat.

 The joint dojos practiced in a place that was rolling with hills. They did one practice where a random pitcher would throw a baseball and and sam would catch it with her bare hands. The pitcher was exhausted and suddenly aisha was there to sub in. She and sam had been fighting but that was their moment of making up. Aisha threw the ball but sam was so surprised she didn’t catch it. She smiled at aisha and then started walking away to get the ball.Then the camera panned over to some more hills where it looked like two people that were Miguel and tory were talking but they were too far away to tell. Then it panned to robby who looked evil and said “so it looks like there are two leaders…”

 later, for some reason, Johnny saw a flashback to  someone asking robby who he would want to meet most. Robby said his dad because he’s never been there for him and he doesn’t really know him. Johnny had an epiphany while random people hoisted him onto a giant spinning wheel of fortune that had the bi flag on it and realized he had to be a better dad. He drove away from school in his new pickup truck and I who was suddenly robby ran outside and grabbed onto the handle through the open window and we rode to the dojo together. Johnny asked if JD would be at the dojo because robby was scared of him. Robby said he didn’t know jd’s school schedule and that he skipped a lot anyways. Johnny kept pestering  him until robby started yelling that he had no idea and Johnny apologized for pushing it. 

We went inside and started grabbing food out of boxes to take with us while kreese just stood in the middle of the room watching us. We gathered soba noodles and large containers of pens when sam and Miguel came in. Sam tried to talk to robby but he refused to speak to her and then decided he wasn’t going to leave with Johnny, he was going to do his own thing. Miguel tried to reason with him but robby didnt pay any attention to him. It ended with xolo mariduena giving a voice over about how this scene emotionally affected him when he first watched it. I remember being Miguel and listening to that and I was surprised that he mentioned he watched it with subtitles.

[cupidssrosses]

i. love. ship. playlists.

so, i know for a FACT that im not the only one that uses songs to picture scenarios with a pairing i really love. like, sometimes im so set on the idea of a ship that i have to rewrite the entire show in my brain, rework it so that they end up together logically. songs are always so good to visualise too. harringrove is the BEST for this, because the show itself uses scenes set to 80s music all the time. 

anywho, this is a really longwided way of saying hey heres my harringrove playlist enjoy :)

this song has always been made for a scene where tension has to slowly build.

so, instead of the scene with billy and neil happening at the end of the season when theres much more world-end-y  things to deal with, it happens earlier. 

the  scene happens, billy goes to find max and ends up finding steve and the kids in that junkyard. 

“am i dreaming or is that you harrington”

(really rushed) “yeah its me dont cream your pants what the FUCK are you doing here hargrove you have to leave right now”

billy won’t shut the fuck up so steve has to cover his mouth and try to push him into the bus. then we hear a demidog, steve gives up on billy and gets ready to fight, quietly hands billy a broken pole or something just in case. 

the song starts from 0:00 right when billy sees the demidog, the camera pans in on his face, just so confused and scared, processing what hes seeing. then he joins the fight, he and steve back to back protecting the kids. this leads to billy being part of the gang, at least in some respects. hes strong as fuck and now they have to fill him in on the circumstances now so hes around more often to help. he wants to protect max, but also be near/protect steve. 

so ! during subsequent fights/situations, billy and steve get a little closer, damn they’re not in love but hey they’re getting more comfortable and theres deeeefinitely some mutal attraction, the energy from those shower and basketball scenes hasn’t gone away. if steves the mother figure billys the dad. 

on the “i need a hero” (BAM) part that leads into the chorus, billy saves steve with some kind of big action you know? RIGHT on the beat i swear i get chills every time i picture it to this song. like he pushes something off of him or pull him out of the way really suddenly after running reaaaallly fast to get to him. right after it cuts to steve looking all suprised and impressed while billy keeps fighting. 

same applies to the part that goes “watched out here i COME” in the second song, except its steve saving billy. 

since two thousand and fucking 17 ive seen this song as billys image of steve. it always sounded like his thoughts about him. 

this is one of the first moments billy realises he might really REALLY like steve. hes not just horny he might actually love this moron. at around 2:07 when all the instrumental goes away and its mainly the drums, thats when it happens. 

hes picking steve up from somewhere. theyve been spending more time together as buddies. he apologised for being a dick, theyve had some more serious conversations. hes taking him to hang out with the kids, maybe he just needed a ride home from school or work. anyway, its golden hour. hes waiting to see him and hes weirdly nervous, more than he ever was waiting to pick up a date with one of the hawkins girls.

and then he sees steve walk out onto the street, or come around the corner.

his heart STOPS. steve just looks so beautiful. the light hitting his hair. he smiles at someone he knows as the walk by. billys just HIT with hoe much he loves this stupid moron and his stupid fucking smile.

steves looking around for the car and looks so. happy. when he sees billy, billy smiles back. its been a while since hes smiled that genuinely. 

billy really really part of gang now. this might be sometime after the final events of season 2 i think?? billys saved them all, had a lot of experiences, hes built up some trust with the group and it feels normal that hes there. hes part of the family, and thats what this songs about. 

it night time, theyre at steves house, all the kids, nancy, jonathen, etc. some are swimming, everyones dancing, things feel a little more okay. 

at around 1:54, (again im a sucker for stripping away most of the instrumental and relying on a few key sounds, including loud drums) billy looks around. he has for one of the first times in a while this sense of FAMILY and ACCEPTANCE and SAFETY.

theres all these shots of everyone having fun, like 2 or 3 cuts, then to steve. just standing there laughing, hairs all wet from the pool, towel around his shoulders. he looks over, catches billys eye, gives him a smile, it feels like he knows what hes thinking, and he feels the same way. 

same night, during the part build up that starts at around 2:53, everyones trying to get billy to dance, hes been smoking on one of the pool chairs, not antisocial just not dancing. not his thing. plus he doesnt want to look like an idiot infront of steve. anyway. 

one of the kids starts it, starts gesturing for him to get up, pointedly singing the lyrics, the rest join in unti theyre all singing and chanting for him to join, all while the song builds and builds. finally steve joins in. maintains eye contact. thats enough for billy. he just keeps his eyes on steve as he stands up. its more like theyre dancing together, less like the kids are there. right at the end of that bridge he just lets go. takes of his jacket and dances around with everyone. he doesnt look stupid either. he looks good. and steve notices 

this is a small one, i dont even have a story to it. all i know is that comparisons between the scene that accompanies this song in top gun and the basket ball scene in st2 have been made, and itd be a super fun, corny scene :)

starts at the very begining. this song has ALWAYS felt so magical and me. i get chills every god damn time i hear the intro. i want their first kiss to be to the intro. 

its after the last fight of season three. someone else was flayed, someone we dont love. obviously billy survives. in FACT, he was along for the ride with robin and steve, all the shenanigens with the russians, billy was tied up and drugged too. BOTH he and robin admit their sexualities. 

billy still sacrafices himself to save the kids from the monster, he says something cute like “see ya round pretty boy” or some corny shit like that before he goes to run and save el, theres a moment when steve knows what hes about to do, theyre staring at eachother and theeeerse the electricity steve knows so much about. theyre really about to kiss, staring at eachothers mouths, but the monster makes a noise and billy knows its now or never, so he runs off. 

steve tries to save him but gets nocked out. he goes unconcious thinking billys going to or is already dead. 

it cuts to the end scene when theyre all in the car park. steves got an icepack to his face, hes obviously been sobbing. 

but he heres a voice. 

(clearly overjoyed and kind of smug) “am i dreaming or is that you harrington”

he looks up. its billy. we get a nice long run-jump-hug. steves in billys arms before he can even finish his sentence:

(nearly crying but SO excited) “yeah its me dont cream your pa-”

NOW. OKAY SO. i love love love they idea of billy steve and robin going home with murray, or at least showing up at his place. maybe billy cant stand the thought of going home, hell maybe neil was the one that got flayed and died idk. anyway.

nancy and jonathen are like, we know a place if people dont want to go home, and they go murrays place. when they show up at the door murray KNOWS. hes like “ffs two more people who have repressed feelings for eachother what am i a therapist. but he lets them in and they have a similar conversation that murray had with nancy and jonathen/joyce and hopper. poking fun at how much they like eachother etc. 

billy and steve have a really intimate talk. not sexaul intimate, just really open. theyre both so tiered, steve thought billy was dead, billy had to say goodbye to steve, who he KNOWS hes in love with by now, thinking he was about to die. they both KNOW how the feel about eachother now, but they havent said it explicitly. just lots of “i really thought id lost you”, “your my best friend”, “i cant believe youd do that for me” etc etc. 

they decide to go to bed, billy walks steve to his room, the one nancy stayed in when she and jonathen got together, theyre standing at the door. just staring at eachother like they were during that fight sequence. the energies back. billy really thinks he might go for it, but decides he doesnt want to ruin things if steve doesnt really feel the same way. he doesnt even know if he likes guys yet. so he just says “night steve” (steve, get it, not harrington, cause theyre close now and he loves him and those defensive barriers are down ahhhh). 

just as he turns to leave, steve does this:

this exact thing. he grabs billys arm, leans down and kisses him. he thought he lost his chance once, he nearly died like a million times in the past 48 hours. he cant stop himself. 

RIGHT HERE is when the intro to jump kicks in. FUck that synth, the rumbling note that runs through the whole thing. time. stops. its perfect. billys wanted this for so long, so has steve but in the grand tradition of fanfiction he didnt know it until he nearly lost billy for good. 

their arms are all over eachother, just as the rest of the instruments come in, at like 0:15, they both smile into the kiss and shut the door behind them, and it cuts away :). 

theyre finally together!!! theyre in the happy, honeymoon stage of realtionship. god theyre just fucking every. chance. they. get. i think this is a new season. it’s a montage of them hooking up all over hawkins. 

in the back of the video store, robin covering for them. in the car, outside school, steves house. someone walks in and billy has to hang out of the window. he makes a noise and steves like “thats probably just a bird or something” and billy MAKES A BIRD NOISE TO THE BEST OF HIS ABILITY. 

when steve helps him back inside he just stares a him with that “youre a moron but your my moron now” face. “~mimics the sound billy made~ really?” and then billy just laughs and goes back to hooking up with him. 

theyre just HAPPY. theyre comfortble, theyre stupid idiots whod die for eachother and horny as fuck allllll the time, like young guys are. i just want a really lighthearted, NOT INNOCENT, but lighthearted tone to a whole montage of them just being happy and stupid together. 

aaaaand we’re bassically at the end of the storyline i have for them based on music. these three i just like the thought of. i want steve do dance super shamelessly in his bedroom in a towel, not in a sexy way dont get me wrong he looks DUmb, and billys at his door window just admiring this stupid idiot dancing around. i cant believe im in love with this man this graceless lanky man i had to choose this one. but ill be damned if i wouldnt give my fucken life for him

and finally trust me go listen to any scorpions song its bassicaly a harrington anthem. it all started with rock you like a hurricain for me, i saw steve look at him, i saw billy and listened to the lyrics and just thought theres no god damned way this man is straight whats the bet hes into steve and then BAM same season hes just so obviously flirting with him constantly i-

anyway okay so

this song, like many other scorpion songs is allll about billy and steve in my opion. go have fun. 

PlayerEntity made this gif not me all credit to them i just wanted to include it cause its my favorite edit of them ever. 

and thats all!!! if youre seeing this and you thought it was cool thanks i had fun. i really just wanted to get this shit out of my brain its been up there since i was a fuckn 14 year old, now im 18 lol. 

i love these men more than myself and sometimes i forget that theyre not acutally together in show cause i live so completely through fanfiction and the sequence of events you just read. 

fuck why am i signing out like you just watched a youtube video or something i should just post this okay by now xxxxx

[mandaloriangf]

you know what fuck it alternate last jedi scenes

not fully thought out but roll with me

were introduced to luke as rey tries to give him back the lightsaber. his face is full of sadness and there is an air of palpable loss. he pushes it back into her hand, closing her fingers overtop of it. they have some dialogue, where she pleads to be trained and he declines, referencing the loss he experienced the last time he taught force users. she pleads again, trying to emphasize the necessity and drastic situation witu the force order. luke doesnt answer and instead asks her how she found him. rey responds that a few droids, and commander organa helped her. luke visibly perks up at the mention of organa, and quietly asks "...Leia?". Rey nods and replies "She misses you. R2, and Threepio too." Luke sits down, and motions for rey to join him, and she does. Luke stares out over the sea towards the horizon. Almost wistfully, he begins to speak. "We trained together, once. Leia and I. She took to it like a fish to water. We had to stop, though. Force training.... It takes time. Time she didnt have. The galaxy needed her, still needs her. Theres always a place for women like her, strong, devoted, determined, focused. Always somethin that needs doin, needs fixin." He pauses for a moment, staring off into the sea. "...Theres no place for people like me anymore. Not out there. Im a relic of the past, just like the temple here. Past its time..." He looks over to Rey. "The battle youre facing, it wont be easy. Whenever shadow falls over the galaxy, it spreads. Fast. And it doesnt let go without a fight. You, Leia, your friends... I hope you're prepared for a war, because thats what theyll give you. And.... I can't send you into somethin like that unprepared. Couldn't call myself a Jedi otherwise, not that theres anyone left to care. I'll train you, as best i can, make sure you have a fighting chance." As he says this, Rey grins widely, and excitedly goes to hand him the lightsaber, but his face becomes stern. "Only in the force though. No lightsaber training." Rey goes to protest, that she has to know how to fight the first order, but luke repeats himself. "No. Thats my one condition. I'll train you, for Leia, and for the light, but I wont train you with the saber, not now and not ever." His expression is one that brokers no arguments. Looking dissapointed, Rey agrees to his terms, and Luke lightens up, and now you can see some of the luke of the original trilogy luke in him. Rey gets her own room, and Luke trains her in the ways of the force. She has noticeable strong points and weak spots. Shes a natural at aspects of using the force on people. She excels at using the forces connections to people, to persuade like in the interrogation room, but luke shows her other aspects of it as well. It is revealed that during her fight with kylo in tfa, she unconsciously tapped into this ability and used the force to bolster herself, to sharpen her senses and reflexes, and to use the force to predict kylos attacks, and that it was triggered by her worry for finn. Luke further explains that through the force all things are connected, and noticing her natural inclination towards force connections, encourages her to try and see if she can use the force to see someone. luke explains that its easier with people you feel a strong bond and connection to, and as rey meditates, we see the screen pan to finn, before hes awoken from his coma. Rey frowns, and murmurs to him "I promise I'll make this right for you, Finn" and, as if in response, we see Finn stir slightly, but doesnt awaken. She then visits chewie, who is working on the milleniun falcon with poe, and then to Leia, who senses Rey and smiles towards her, knowing that shes found luke and that theyre both okay. Afterwards, Luke explains that most of the study of the force focused on its ability for combat, and that reys talents could have uses even he might not know of, foreshadowing the use of the force to heal in TROS (rn im leaning towards force healing and force inspiration being finns primary talents, and finn healing poe).

Sometime during the night after training with luke, rey has another dream, similar to the one when she held anakins lightsaber. We hear a familiar voice repeat "Rey... these are the first steps..." as the camera pans through the island towards a secluded location. Another night, rey decides to find it, and follows the path in her vision, until she finds someone in a cloak. As she approaches, the figure turns towards her, and pulls down the hood, revealing ewan macgregor!obi wan, in the outfit he wore as ben on tattoinne. they have some small talk, and obi wan says that while he understands lukes reasoning, its important for rey to know how to wield her saber. rey asks what he means, because luke wont tell her. obi wan recounts the betrayal of ben solo and how he became kylo ren. rey asks how he knows luke, and obi wan replies that he was the last of the jedi, and that he trained luke as he trains rey now. rey notices his use of past tense, and how that would make him even older than luke now, and yet he doesnt look it. obi wan replies that the universe is out of balance, and that those that have passed may return through the force, if there is a need for it. From then on, as luke trains rey in the force, obi wan trains her to use a light saber at night. During the montage we notice that while rey starts off strong, she eventually starts to struggle with the saber, and gets frustrated. Obi Wan explains that the wielder and the saber must be as one, and that the saber chooses the wielder. In confusion, rey asks "Didnt it choose me?" referencing her vision in tfa. Obi Wan explains that the saber is old, and that it was calling out for someone, and that rey heard it, but its true wielder is someone else. Obi Wan then explains that to continue her training, she must forge her own light saber, and explains what that entails. Rey seems excited at the prospect, and her background as a scrapper is put to use. She makes the handle with ease, using bits and pieces of scrap around the island, and seems pleased with the result. The handle is inelegant, but not ugly, and while cobbled together from various pieces, there is a kind of unity to them. It more closely resembles reys staff. The final piece is kyber crystal, retrieved from within the jedi temple. While Rey journeys through it with Obi Wan, they talk, and Rey comments on how familiar obi wan is, despite never having met him before. Obi Wan smiles sadly and remarks that she reminds him of someone as well. Long ago, the jedi werent hunted down, and he had to flee into hiding after losing everything dear to him. He tried to settle down into a normal life, and met someone and started a family, but their child was force sensitive, and drew the attention of the empire. His family was split apart as they fled, and he never saw them again. Luke, to him, reminded him of the family he never got to have, and now he is reminded once again...

I have no idea how to continue from here, but heres some key points

-Rey Kenobi babeyyyyyy that was always my fave theory. Obi Wan never got to raise his children, and they lived their life unaware of their force sensitivity. They eventually had rey, but her own force sensitivity drew the attention of the first order. They left her on jakku to keep her safe, intending to return, but the first order killed them before they could

-FINN SKYWALKER anakins lightsaber chose him, but because of age and neglect, could only weakly call out. Rey was the first force sensitive who touched it, sparking it to life. After finn used it in tfa, it yearns to go back to him, and fulfill its destiny of restoring balance. Both finn and the lightsaber cast off their dark past to restore balance and justice to the galaxy

-Some nice scenes with obi wan and luke, and some with leia and luke. its a damned shame they didnt interact more in the sequel trilogy.

-Snoke abuses reys force connection ability, as that is also his talent, and uses kylo to block and antagonize rey

-Most of reys training is interspersed throughout the movie as the pov changes between her, finn, and poe

-lots of references to the last jedi so the audience thinks it could mean different things, until the end of tlj, where finn finds out hes force sensitive and the heir to the skywalker legacy and lightsaber, and that its him who is the last true jedi

-i didnt watch tlj or tros so i have no idea what happened in those movies to reference those plot points here, sorry (unu)

-TLJ is interspered with scenes of kylo bein a nazi fuck and plot build up for him and snoke being the anatagonists of tros

-disney pay me for the emotional damages i suffered from knowing r#ylo happened

OMG i really really really like your way of explaining that the lightsaber actually calls to finn

[sasukebarmitzvah]

watching every naruto opening and discussing my opinions because im bored liveblog

original

took me a little while to warm up to it idk why maybe because its not as up tempo and its a shonen and i want to get hype but i love it now. love the part where the camera pans around team 7 fighting randos they are babies… also its so funny when sasuke holds out his hand to naruto to help him out of the lake and he jsut fist bumps him. gay boy

Haruka fucking kanata baby!!!!!!!! a fav. like we all know this. i listen to the song just regularly a lot and every time it comes on shuffle im like Oh my god its haruka kanata. read the english translation of the lyrics… sns

this one got stuck in my head for a while lol. i like seeing everyone babie and i like naruto shaking his head at the end to dry off like a dog

DDMnanannaddnnaaaaa naaaaaaaaa nda aaWE ARE FIGHTING DEAMERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOLI OLI OLIOOOOoohh!!!!! very fun very good also a very good time in the show, hello tsunade

**edgy shonen opening where theres something important in front of a chain link fence**

lol skipping 6-9 bc thats the huge chunk of filler which i didnt actually watch most of

shippuden

heros come back is SO GOOD absolutely one of my favs. banger first of all. i love how its actually choreographed and naruto sakura kakashi are like moving to the beat and i love the part where the animation is like pencil sketchy and theyre running and their bodies warp bro its just cool. the part where everyone dramatically reaches for gaara is fun, also love deidaras moment. anyway i shake my ass to this song eveyrday

distance oh god oh fuck. YOU ARE MY FRIEND!!! the sasuke and naruto stuff where they are little baby at the beginning at the end we return to the same place theyre there and like about to stab each other i’m going to scream. i lvoe the song of course. hello sai! i love team 7s little spotlight moments where they get to pose to the music its so cute. why is sasuke snake jesus? DO you remember that long lost DREAM!!!!!!!!!!

BLUE BIRD YA BANGER ok the whole symbolism. when naruto falling next to sasuke rising is positioned like yin and yang lol. when naruto is falling from the sky but then sasuke comes to mind and he springs into action lol. ok random people from the fillers i dont care about. naruto fell in the lake he picks up the bird feather interspersed with a couple shots of sasuke horgh. additional reading: paper bag by fiona apple

closer is one of the ones where im like eh its ok its not my favorite and then it gets to the chorus and my dumb ass is jsut screaming YOU KNOW THE CLOSER YOU GET TO SMETHING THE TOUGHTER IT IS TO REACHIT. the funniest part where narutos moping and thinking of sasuke and then he just perks up and smiles at the camera like. gay boy. like getting to see the asuma fight scenes in this op, also it was so funny seeing him get all the screentime in this op knowing hes about to die like yeah very subtle

SHA LA LA!!!! LOVE IT i love it i love it soooo much first of all banger second of all naruto looking into the water and his reflection is sasuke. lollllll. metaphor m-e-t-a-p-h-o-r the little prechorus bit in the middle gives me chills. love sasuke walking into the purple pool like a smug motherfucker thats my boy. at the end zooming into sasukes pupil zoom out it’s narutos eye oh the poetry..

signs another one of the ones where im like eh whatever its fine but not my fav but by the chorus i am standing on the table freaking out. like fuck jiraiya but this one got me a lil. the lighting and choreography of the sasuke itachi fight bit is sooooo nice and pretty, love getting to see all the new players in the story. baby ame orphans fading to the shot of yahiko as pain.. :(

this one literally makes me cry. i get chills what the fuck. definitely one of my favs. am i a bitch? maybe. i like the song by itself but like the way the rise/general shape of the melody flows with the visuals its like oh god oh fuck. again fuck jiraiya but like the role his character serves as a link between these disparate groups of people and the way thats used in this opening… how it starts and ends with him writing and this is the arc where naruto reads tales of a gutsy ninja and he learns about how he got his name and jiraiya wrote the book and hes WRITING and im going CRAZY!! i’m starting to tear up watching it rn. the shot of konan and the pains in that moment just before they leap forward. Sayonaaaaaaara aa lksasldfkwpoeifjhnuerIELFeuiertekdjsnlfweiourbg kakashis moment is cool in this op. also love to see the girls getting fight scenes in this op cus they sure dont in the actual show LOL anyway yeah im at the part where the melodys just hitting sooo different oh my god naruto frog eyes

DIVERRRRRRR. FAV literally like naruto is drowning. hes drowning and everyone is pushing him up so he can breathe again everyone is fighting to save him and thnen he s ouf ot the water and then he sees sasuke drowning and he JUMPS BACK IN. FOR ONE PERSON EVEN THOUGH ALL THESE OTHER PEOLE were working to help him out he dives back in for SASUKE whos drowning in the eyehole of obitos mask which is cool. ok yeah this is another one where im like tearing up because THe cymbal is em….. the way The movement of the visuals is choreographed with the song is so much. nico TOUCHED the fucking walls.

this one kinda annoys me i dont know why it just wasnt my favorite. love the sasuke and naruto staring at each other intensely moment though, would this be a shippuden opening without that. also the part at the end where sakura holds up her kunai and it like slashes and covers sasuke and naruto… inch resting…

newsongs so weird i love it. like what the hell is going on. why is naruto running like hes from some weird gmod video from 2013. love the LITERAL choreography, everyone dancing to the song like this is a musical. theres just a lot of weird moments which is fun. love sai naruto and sakura making the seal together to shoot lightning. raikage leaping gracefully across the beach

i do not enjoy this one. i just dont. it just feels like we’re bootlicking which of course we are because this is the war arc and everything is a nightmare

i remember seeing the first episode with this opening and i was excited bc its like… great another naruto pining for sasuke one this is what im here for. a light banger. minato manlet monday. ohh right this was the one where gaara sees his dad again and his OH I SEE SASUKEE

Banger! nico did indeed touch the walls again. i like that this one is like visually thematically consistent thru the whole thing, i like the nighttime dimly lit atmosphere with the bursts of brighter colorful lighting, also whenever i see tsunade i freak out. narutos cute at the end

SUCH A BANGER!!! also very cool visual style, appreciate it for that like the last one, its got that pretty consistent aesthetic with the red sky and the high contrast black blocking its fun and cool to watch. did i mention the song is a bit of a banger. obito passing thru the rock is cool too bad hes an idiot

ok from this one there were two lines i remember always seeing in the english sub that made me freak out. and one of them was like “this red hot love burning my heart” and it was over kakashi and obito fighting like damn OK. also the “i put the candle out with my finger” thing sticks in my head idk why. hate that we have the narutos big meaty claws i mean manly hands moment though. omg its hashirama and madara and then it CUTS TO SASUKE AND NARUTO IN THE SAME POSE LOL OK…

SILHOUETTE IS a banger… not as much so as some of the others but its a lot of fun. very colorful op, we got some naruto pining for sasuke, classic. also love the thing where ppl are running and they age as they do and they sort of grow into their present selves, a fun visual bit. the end where narutos like obito be nice now look at all these people behind me who think youre a meanie please be nice :(((((((((

another one with a really good visual principle ugh i love how the style of the show is integrated w the styles of more traditional printmaking its very swexy and nice to look at

LINE uugrgh i love this one, maybe a fav… naruto chasing after the light and sasuke trying so hard to snuff it out as they both reflect on their memories of each other oh god oh fuck… also i love the bits where it just has all the characters in a row like it reminds me of that one post about how in the endgame trailer they had a shot of all the female characters together to be like Girl power!! and someone was like yeah thats them showing u exactly how many women theyre going to disrespect LMAO but yeah i do love this op. also the song itself being slower w/ the triplet tempo is a nice change of pace

blood circulator hee hee… the version of this with naruto and sasuke moments is A Lot but even just the generic first version is fun. the part where narutos like knocked on his face hes sinking into the tar and hes not even trying to save himself hes just staring at sasuke, but then he sees sasuke distressed and he goes bijuu mode immediately like What did u say about my mans? there is some homoeroticism

i really hate everything about this i hate it all. sasuke is cute. thats it. ok first of all why did choji cut his hair his long hair look was so gooooooood. hinata bimboification? i mean if anything it was fun to watch these fillers just cus it was fun to watch kakashi be the hokage but really goofy and also the Crumbs tossed to the kakairus… but yeah i hate everything temari got bimbofied too like ugh please let her be a dyke :( this isnt even me talking necessarily about the opening this is me just being like i hate the naruto ending. LOL SASUKE AND NARUTOS NO HOMO BRO HIGH FIVE AT THE END LOLLLLL

ok im done

[carniccity]

Nightmare Log #2

well i just had the fuckiest dream

i was living in the craziest idea for an art college studio; a whole art store integrated with montors, cubby holes, and desks and computers for working

the whole place felt like a giant place for art, only art, and simply art, with montors showing off animations and printed out works strewed across every wall

every art supply imaginable hung in every aisle and shelf, fuck there was even a place to find and cook your own food on the back end of the store cause you basically would live there forever like a fucking art boot camp

at first i was doing good, getting high praise from a classmate for one of my drawn pieces, but eventually time came and slowly but surely people kinda became disinterested in the kind of stuff i would throw out

outlook changed, i became desperate to make something, but still found time to good around and watch the other people's work

one in particular was my cousin John (who never really cares about these art things)  invited to the big corner of the room with a gigantic monitor set up, and we watched this live action fan movie of bleach where ichigo was completely taken over by the whole and it connected to naruto and  then another anime and then another and i got sick of looking at it after a while.

after i failed to make some kind of weird overwatch animation with junkrat and roadhog (god knows why i went there) i went to the food area and checked out different foods and there was a place for people to have a sample of other people's creations

i felt irritated and looking around i just noticed that half the art was fucking dicks and -i just remembered there were literal art patron gods, about 20 or so, all different names and im pretty sure there was an aisle in the store where you could give them offerings (among other things)

but yeah most of the art work on the wall were drawn penises and naked posing and all i could think was "my art style was a bit more simplified so this isnt really fair"

so i was going through some of the curry spices when i heard another person muttering about them too

guy looked about in his late 20s, ragged jacket, reddish brown hair with a beard, bagged clothing, and apparently i knew him and just folllowed and talked to himwe went back to set up with the big montor and found a different set up exhibit there (well he did i spaced out again). the walls were painted pure white like in an art gallery, and the only thing on the wall was a map that my friend explained as the gallery demo room for Resident Evil 8

we walked through the room became more gravelly and rough, with objects strewn across the floor, walls still void of color. he picked up a stone and tossed across the room and i stated "wow this is a neat concept for an AR game". It worked and sounded just right and we came against our first enemy, a type of troll monster.i immediately dipped cause i didnt care much for it, never seeing that friend again, and moved to another room of the demo

this one had the same art gallery style, but with a line on the floor that followed a path like a snake and looked like a train line on a subway map. the line never crossed itself but every interval had a node, probably to keep the program in place.my feet were magnetized to the line, making so i had to move across it, and a voiceover started, stating how these VR demos were made to punish those who couldnt make the cut, and as I walked into the next room of this gallery, i met my adversary as it were; 8 feet tall silhouetted humanoids with  the neck and head of a crane but face of a raven

at first they still, but once i approached they move at a rapid pace, following the line as i did and i had to run along it was well, like a mine cart and i controlled which path i went on

the voice came from the lead bird, the one moving at the front of the flock, and i quickly moved out of the room as fast i could...but then i was right back at the moment right before they started moving again: Level 2

previously they only moved on one set path, right, but once i moved left, i immediately knew, and they told me, that they were adaptive, and that they will eventually catch me.i psyched them out and ran to the opposite way  where another more primitive guard bird just moved back and forth; i had to time when i moved out the entranced. the humanoids were right behind me so i took a shot and got the entranced, only to find that the entire store had become one huge gallery space, with those to have me abscond in infinitum

and i as ran into timing which line to follow, the camera panned away and the bird quickly catching up, and laid in bed, mind racing, and only opening my eyes when i knew i made to the exit of that level, scared that if i didnt they would follow me out

so yeah fucky dream, heart racing, and i woke up early yay ithinkmyconsciousnessistryingtoscaretheshitoutofmeintodrawingmoreart

[rythmcale]

I dont remember my dreams but i remembered this one.

ok this is going to be disjointed, grammatically incorect, and the writting itself will probably bother some people cause my writting style? is trash.. i think. i had a wild cohesive dream last night and i HAVE to share omfg. i dont often remember my dreams.. if ever. I just started antidepressants like.. a couple weeks ago.  the day before this dream, i was working on my friends car (01 ford taurus limited) trying to replace the front complete struts (fuck those struts omg) been at it for more than a few hours. shit just was not going well. finally got one strut out after a shitload of hammering but the new strut just wont go in and i said fuck this car im taking a break. went inside and joing my already in motion dnd session that we are at level 20 now. were in the last part of hell, beating the shit out of a rockshasha (idk how to spoell it) pentagram on the floor. blood pooling into it. we beat him then get an image of th partys home town being waylayed by an army of demons, devils, monsters of all kinds. we plane shift back, and get told that a rift opened up and they just started pouring out just a few moments after we left to deal with the rockshasha. game ends, and i join my friends with some apex legends for a few hours. my head starts to hurt like a MOTHER and i bow out. i watch some youtube on my couch so the tv is further away from my eyes than the monitor but headache doesnt do away. its one of those headaches that feel like your brain is getting stabbed and it was on my left temple and behind my eye at the same time... i dont get headaches often. so i say fuck it, i take four pills of off brand ibuprofyn, and two off brand pill of acetamitaphin. eat a banana, can of cambells chuncky corn chowder soup and go to bed.

this is the dream i rememebr having after having the most restful sleep i can rememebr having i n a long while.

ok so i remembr three parts of it maybe more. first thing i remember is that it was dark and stormy night (cliche i know just.. just hang on) panning through an apartment you hear thuds and a scream or two. sounds like fighting. after panning through a tossed apartment you finally get to the bedroom where a woman lay exaushted on the bed, room is trashed. (no this is not erotica hang on) man is haunched, twitching somewhat in the shadows of the room. pan to the woman on th bed, its a beaten and bloody blonde.. (for some reason my head went brittney spears idk why) and shes laying there kind of laughing.. chuckling and finally says, i wont let you have your way as the guy lunges for her she takkes a bottle and breaks it over his head. broken sharp bottle in her hand she glances at it as the guy staggers backk some,he growls.  as he begins to lurch forward again lighting strikes and for a flash you see mangled, rotting flesh. eyes white, teeth missing, just horrible to look at, and groaning sniffing the air. presumibly for her. with the last bit of her strength she take the bottle to her throat amiling and crying that she both got away from this thing and sad that she has to die to do it.

im in a funeral home in what i normally wear, jeans, leather jackket, t shirt, bandanna, long hair. (it my dream of course im in it, just put yourself where i put me, im, mine, etc etc) Im standding therre waiting to go in and the same woman comes up beside me. Shes in kind of a black.. or whitish sun dress, depending how the light hist is.. or doesnt? with one of those hat that have a large... brim? (i dont know the word right now, those hat you see woman wear to the beach that offer a shit load of shade) around it. i rmember us chatting a bit and she finally looks at me. immediatly im struck with shock cause she looks like who we are going to the funeral for. I say "holy shit you like just like her" she says "oh yeah shes my twin, the only difference between our features is that i have one eye thats yellow". i then take notice of her eyes and finally ee that one ofo them is indeed yellow. but its not exactly?? its that thing that happens around the pupil that looks yellow and kind of spikey. idk what is called but it covered most of her iris. i told her this, ahs smiled and said "well thank you i never knew that" and walked inside. as i walked inside i saw everyone was well dressed and now im in a black suite and tie, hair pulled back. it was a large church with cielings that i could only imagine how high they were.

im in an attic type place. (presummably the area above the church??) im walking around lookks like the belfry from the first batman movie with michel keaton and jackk nicolson.. they arent there. its dark out, lights kind of peering through the cracks in the roof and slits of the wood. panning through the attic i see a particularly large crack in the wood. just big enough to look through. So i do. i see the guy who played glennn in the walking dead (i cant remember the actors name right now) standing there witha shotgun in hand and ak slung over him. looks like he did in walking dead (only thing ive seen that actor in so far -shrugs-) kind of decked out with grenades, a bullet belt, cargo pants, couple of boot knifes. hes talkingf to someone casually i cant make out what they are saying. suddenly he turns around in shock and yells run as he sharts fireing. can see everything inside the area now. its a long hallway.. ish? type area. looks the same as where i was. you see some creatures coming towards "glenn" and he stops grins and all of a sudden on ether side of the hallway is row after row of automatice guns. and they just start PUMPING they things full of bullets.. like they dont even stnad for more than a few seconds. after that he promptly runs to the side off where i cant see him anymore.

now im standing next to him and the woman from the start of this is in front of us, he hands me a knife. we both go in, shes jerking around but still as beautiful as ever, smiling and saying "you still think that will finish me do you, bwhahahah" you know that anime haha laugh that women do with the back of their hand to their mouth. me and "glenn" go in, with glenn warning of her dragons breath. and suddenly i have her in a choke hold and shes squrming. im trying to twist and break her neck, it just wont happen. shes smiling and i can see red creeping up her throat, smoke coming out of her nose and mouth, eye glowing red, keeps trying to grab my arm with her hands to get me to let go, shes held down by.. something idk. finally i say fuck this, i take the knife to go for her neckk and saw at her neck, its like rubber, the knife wont cut and suddenly theres wood covering it.. wind wipping around us. im sawing at the wood like my life depends on it. then i get pushed back as earth starts to form around her leggs and she gets lifted up on this mound. wood covering the top part of her and her arms. shes still laughing until shes not and is now panicked. im confusedas fuck cause i didnt do anything. th earth hardens into metal. so much pressure that the earth and rock turned to metal. the wood covering the top ortion of her, her arms become limbs of the tree and it grows from the top of her head and fully blooms in an instant then petrifies. her contorted screamingf face like a knot in the tree. "glenn" walks up next to me just as beaten and bloody as i am. somehow we are both standing. "glenn" asks "is it finally over?" and i say " it might.. for a while. but not forever" camera pans out as we both slump to our knees finally breathing and you se a cathedral that the funeral was in on a hude mound of earth and the city, landscape, everything is ether over grown or crumbling like in the game the last of us.

for some reason i think this would a wild ride as a movie or book or well written at all.. fuck

[starship-imzadi]

S2 E22 Shades of Grey

Den of Geek really has the best reaction to this episode. They state, as I suspected, that apparently this episode was done as a clip show because the season went over budget. The producers should have saved whatever money they did spend on this episode, close out everyone's contracts, and just let the season be.

Instead, we have this awkward atrocity to close out and recap the first two seasons. This episode is one of the reasons I argue that TNG doesn't really settle until season 3; it feels like season 1 and 2 are a long extended pilot before costumes are changed, characters are axed, actors recast, someone always gets a hair cut, and the main title sequence theme song is rerecorded...or whatever it is producers change after seeing a pilot episode.

I wonder if their shoes are waterproof...

I've got to say, if you don't care about Riker, that is not a catchy opener.

I don't think who ever wrote this knows anything about bacteria or viruses.

I wonder what filming this episode was like for Jonathan. He's just lying down for most of it.

They wade into the water so unnecessarily. Riker was attacked by some unknown element but let's just walk through the murky water, no big deal.

Data says the relationship between the vines and animals could be symbiotic but then he goes on the say the vines could be predatory, which Picard reiterates by saying "the vines infect animals in order to kill them"....this is not symbiosis! What benefit is there to the animal?

Riker says the thorn looks "harmless".....but, but, how? It's as big as a coat hook! How does that look harmless?

I must say Picard's odd conversation with Riker is endearing. It's really kind of awkward like he wants to talk to him but it's quite sure what to say, he's not very good with emotion.

That's such a bad joke but also, totally a joke Riker would tell.

IMZADI! They just have to say the word and I turn into a complete mess.

Now, I know Star Trek medicine is very detached from reality but this is stupid. Reaching his spinal column would not knock him out. It might paralyzed his diaphragm and he'd stop breathing!

WHO TOOK HIS SPACESUIT OFF DURING THE COMMERCIAL BREAK?!? That's so stupid. Did someone think he needed to look more appropriate for a hospital setting but the future does have hospital gowns?

Also, how deep is she putting that in his brain?! (The telescoping "needles" just look like radio or tv antenna. The ends are so blunt it looks like she'll get a tissue core sample.)

Aww, Riker feels alone and lost.

This juxtaposition of older and younger clips within this episode exemplify how much has developed and changed over the last two seasons. I wonder if Riker was chosen as the center if this episode because the editors had the most clips of him to choose from.

I can't tell what Troi's reaction is to Riker's erotic dreams. She sighs but the camera doesn't pan to her face in time so Pulaski is the only indication of Troi's behaviour. Also, fuck off Pulaski! Troi can read Riker'e feelings that's fine but the specifics of his personal thoughts and feeling aren't any of your business.

Also, for the record and while I'm thinking about it: Riker is NOT a womanizer. I think the episode is largely to blame for that misconception. He remembers each woman [person] he's been with.

Seeing Minuet reminded me of this post:

"People call Will Riker a womanizer like he didn't tongue kiss a hologram who's only personality traits were liking jazz and being kind of nice to talk to a couple times and then think of her so fondly that when he was trapped in a simulation of the future she was put in the role of his dead wife that is not womanizer behavior " ("Future Imperfect")

Urban Dictionary defines a "womanizer" as: "Men who are emotionally unavailable, due to patterns of dysfunctional love. Unpredictable, dishonest, high ego, charming, full of charisma, completely irresistible, extremely seductive. They hold your attention like nobody else, all out of an unconscious desire to prove constantly that they are real men by the number of conquests they can make, they actually need permanent external validation from different women, so they dont sense love with them, as they banalized them as objects to get attention or sex."

Riker does none of these things. He remembers each person not as score but for who they are, he enjoys sex as a shared experience, we never see any one complain of being used by him, he flirts with women because he enjoys the report even if it will not lead to sex, and most noticably with Troi he is very emotionally available, caring, and supportive.

So, is this like extended electroshock therapy?

Riker's sad emotional moments are: Tasha's death, watching Troi lose her son. (Which is really sweet).

God forbid 24th medicine be able to identify these elusive un-named endorphins. Let's just shock his brain more!

Wow, Riker gets into severe danger or nearly dies a lot.

Take a moment to appreciate that Troi stood by Riker's side (for this entire stupid episode) and Riker noticed.

A stupid ending that somehow, other than being the ending, might be the best part of the whole episode.

-

Since this is the final episode of season 2 I think it's worth taking the time to notice that Troi did not call Riker "Bill" once in this season, and in tandem with the above post, I'd like to quote this very humorous post:

"Theories about why Deanna kept calling Riker Bill in season 1

-she knew he hated it as a nickname and wanted to mess with him

-he went by Bill when he was an ensign/lieutenant and he changed to Will because it had more command presence

-he actually went by Bill when he got on the ship but everyone kept calling him Will and he felt too embarrassed to correct anyone

-she legit forgot his name"

[jade4813]

S1 had hints towards a romantic storyline developing between Caitlin & B. I think one of the reasons the writers chose not to follow through was that they knew that it would have to end with Barry ultimately choosing Iris, and that reduces both females into objects but the thing is the CW has never shyed away from doing that. Or many they listened to our WA tweets but its hard to imagine a group of TV execs using tweets to decide on a course action. So what do you think is the real reason?

(part2) Let me add tht I think the writers had enough foresight to know putting B & C together could not be a short fling because of her position as a regular on the cast (unlike Patty) so that would mean having her occupy that position for a while. Then there’s the question of what they would do with Iris. I think that question is the main reason they didnt go there. Wht does Iris become is she’s not Barry’s ultimate love interest? Patty ws temporary & we saw how tht removed Iris from the story

—

The only thing I’d dispute in this is that they hinted towards a romantic storyline developing between BA & CS. I expected them to do one. I even posted about it a few times during S1 that I expected them to go there and was surprised they weren’t/hadn’t. But the thing is…they never did.

They did a few baiting moments, but what always struck me about them was how clearly they were baiting and how obvious it was that they weren’t intending or planning or even thinking about actually following through on any of them.

More under the cut because this gets a bit long.

I actually talked about this with my brother recently. Even in the episode with karaoke. If they had ended it with CS saying what she did and walking away and then flash to Barry looking thoughtfully/longingly after her…or if Barry had gone to call Linda and the camera flashed to her looking longingly after him…maybe?

If they’d ever discussed the kiss in any way, particularly if they had been left with some awkwardness. “But of course I knew it wasn’t you. You would never…right?” “*awkward laugh* …R-right! Of course not! We’re friends!” “Just friends.” “Right!” “Right.” *long look between them*

ANYTHING like that. Anything like that would have been a hint that maybe they were thinking of doing an actual story. Dipping their toe in the water. 

But here’s the thing. Absolutely no baiting moment…not a single one…had any impact on EITHER character beyond the scope of the baiting scene itself. On either of them! Hell, if they’d even concretely shown ONE of them thinking about the other in a romantic fashion, I’d float the possibility. But NEITHER of them did.

They went to karaoke and she said she should find someone new to be crazy about and…Barry called Linda and in the very next episode, she was all about Ronnie again. And it wasn’t like Barry went out with Linda and we saw her looking sad about that for even a millisecond and then focusing on Ronnie again. Or vice versa. Honestly, remove the karaoke episode from the series, and would you notice any difference in the show, in terms of Barry and CS and how they relate to each other at ALL? Would there be even the slightest jarring readjustment of so much as a single LINE that doesn’t make sense anymore? I’m pretty sure there’s not even that (and, frankly, her attitude towards Ronnie in that one episode was the outlier; she was otherwise consistent in not wanting to give up on the man she loved).

Same thing with the Snowbates kiss. Remove that episode from the series…do their attitudes towards each other no longer make sense or seem weird or disjointed? Nope. Because that episode was nothing but bait, and it impacted neither Barry, nor CS, nor the plot of the show, nor their dynamics to each other, nor so much as DIALOGUE in future episodes. It was never mentioned again. By either of them. It had no impact on ANYONE but the shippers.

And that’s how you can tell when something is bait and when the writers are floating a possible arc. If it actually impacts a character, the show, or actually anything but the shippers…it’s being considered for a possible story. Even if it’s immediately and abruptly dropped because they change their minds. If it impacts ONLY the shippers and not even a single one of the characters involved? It’s bait.

And I say that having been baited to in the past. It’s bait! That’s all it is!

So I don’t think they ever actually considered doing SB as a ship. I know some complain about how they’re “keeping them apart because of their chemistry” or whatever nonsense, but I don’t think they ever actually considered Barry and CS to be the closest relationships either of them had. They used CS and her relationship with Ronnie to give Barry emotional investment in Ronnie and to try to get the audience to care about this character they had originally clearly intended to stick around longer than he did. They used CS as a sounding board for Barry to talk about his feelings for Iris. Yes, they did have some friendship scenes but…remove all the scenes about Ronnie (or CS’s feelings for him) or about Iris (or Barry’s feelings for her) and do they have that many? I doubt they really do. I suspect the writers always considered Cisco and Barry and Cisco and CS to be much closer than they ever considered Barry and CS.

In part because it is inarguably a male-centric series. In part because I don’t think they ever really HAVE considered pursuing a romantic relationship between Barry and CS and so they don’t really think about the relationship - or relationships involving women in general - much beyond that. (Again, see first “in part.” The only reason I think they think about CISCO’S relationship with CS more is because I think they see them as the “science pair” like Fitzsimmons - like they come in a set - though they don’t think of them as romantic as FS is…(as I understand FS are).)

Now why do I think they never even considered it? Well, as you say, I doubt their concern is turning the women into mere objects. They COULD have done a short fling…in S2, if they actually ever thought about going there. Which, again, I don’t think they did. And then had both of them realize they were in it for the wrong reasons, have a single episode of awkwardness (as they do) and then have the two of them get over it and it never get brought up again as if it never happened (as, again, they do).

I don’t think it was out of concern for what to do with Iris. As you said…Patty.

Honestly, I think it could really come down to the fact that - whether the shippers agree with them or not, it’s entirely possible that they just legitimately don’t feel romantic chemistry there. They baited, perhaps, because they thought there were fans there and fans might bring ratings and it might be worth their while to bait it. But, then again, maybe there was no particular impact on the ratings either way from THEIR end (given that they take various things into account in particular), and so it wasn’t really worth it.

Maybe they knew they’d be pursuing WA in S2 at some point and they didn’t want to deal with the fact that, if they went there even in 2A, they’d never stop hearing the questions about when they’d get back together when they didn’t want Barry to have anything other than a short-term fling to kill time, anyway.

Maybe it’s because the one time they DID write Barry interested in someone else, it was short-term and clearly just to fill time, so they wanted to bring in someone they could easily ship off as soon as it was done, so they didn’t have to deal with any lingering plot threads. Girl is gone; that’s done; what’s next? No muss, no fuss!

Maybe they never really considered it because it was clear from the beginning that Ronnie was her main love story (intended for much longer than it was able to be done, obviously); Iris was his, and even though her story didn’t pan out as planned, that was just not something that by that point really interested them.

Maybe they wanted to give Barry another love interest but they wanted to stick to actual canonical ones, and that means Patty - the show DID start during the New 52 era.

Maybe they just know how important WA is to the story and they wanted a quick and disposable love story and they didn’t want people to think they were “promising” something they never promised, when they already get such allegations when the two of them so much as rely on a device to tell time.

There are a lot of possible MAYBEs there, but if you want my honest opinion?

I think they never went there because it was never a story that interested them for so much as a single second. And I get that impression because all they ever did was bait it a couple times in S1, completely ignore it beyond that, and have otherwise treated every single even potential chance to put SB together (even in a dream sequence/Flashpoint/E46/whatever) with a yawn and a pass.

I just don’t think it ever occurred to them to put them together beyond some shoddy baiting moments (which, you’ll note, they had to write CS out of character to even justify happening). And that’s why I really think they never went there.

Just my thoughts on the matter.

[kj-nixon]

happy v day

On any other day, it would be nearly impossible to wake KJ up before 10am. You would have to fire a gun next to her. It was actually a major concern of her family’s, but she had always been more of a night owl than an early bird.

But today was Valentine’s Day. And this year she was going to do something fantastic for Hunter.

Last night, she had stolen his Apple Watch after he had fallen asleep and set the alarm to vibrate on her wrist at 7. She hated the thing because she felt the radiation from it would lead to arthritis. Bailey had tried to explain that that wasn’t how arthritis worked, but KJ was still skeptical. Regardless, it was the only way she could think of setting an alarm without also waking up Hunter.

God damn, 7am. Any later and Hunter would probably wake up on his own and ruin the surprise. Why did he have to be such an adult?

KJ grinned at that. That’s why she loved him.

As gracefully as she could manage, which wasn’t all that graceful if you knew KJ, she slipped out of their queen sized bed and tip toed to the kitchen. Their apartment was more of an open loft. A giant, brick square with only the bedroom and tiny bath distorting the shape by jutting out to the side. Looking at the floor plan, she had never quite been able to figure out how it interlinked with the other apartments, but really, did it matter? It suited them perfectly. The kitchen was as much a part of the living room as it was the dining room.

Open concept, open vibes.

They had it decorated as some combination of industrial modern and cozy, and the kitchen was pretty much the same. The tricky part was that KJ so rarely actually opened their cabinets that it took her a few attempts to find the pans she needed. Eventually, though, she got the bacon onto the gas stove and started on making breakfast in bed.

Hunter was, hands down, the best thing to happen to her. She knew she said it a lot, but it was just facts. Without him, she would probably be chasing yet another degree that she wouldn’t complete. He rescued her. Of course, he’d never admit it, but KJ and her siblings knew that she was kind of worthless without him.

And she was worthless, no doubt about it. Worthless against conventional standards. She couldn’t keep a job, her temper kept her from really being too great a people person, and without help her living space would be a dump. But she thrived in a space where you could let her be expressive, and Hunter provided her that. He encouraged her to be as creative and goofy and obnoxious as she wanted. And, somehow, they had figured out how to monetize it online. The cookie crumbled perfectly in that way.

She wanted to get lost in all the different ways she loved him, but it was almost impossible to actually start a list. Because as soon as she thought of one detail, it was almost immediately replaced and forgotten with another. He was just.... her world. She was obsessed with him. And she was pretty sure he was equally obsessed with her.

She assumed. She hoped.

KJ wasn’t actually a secure person. Some would even dare to call her insecure. And she felt justified in her anxiousness. Comparing herself to others was one of her most developed skills, and she never could measure up. So, if by some chance a girl who was just as pretty as she was, but twice as responsible came along, was there really any doubting that Hunter would take an interest? He was actually the perfect, functioning adult. One day he’d realize he was tired of babysitting a grown child. She just hoped it was on his death bed. Because KJ quite actually couldn’t live without him.

They’d be together forever if she had any say. And if you know any Faline, they have a lot to say.

And so what if they weren’t legally linked? KJ loved being with him no matter what. Did she sometimes dream about having the big wedding? Sure. Did she ever wonder if he even thought about asking her to get married? Yeah. Was she kind of concerned that he hadn’t asked yet because he didn’t want to permanently link himself to her in such a way that it would be difficult to leave her when he was ready? Who the fuck asked you?!

KJ’s brain snapped back to the kitchen when she smelled the smoke. While zoning out, she had splashed bacon grease onto the range and started a fire. Fucking ADHD.

What were you supposed to use on a grease fire again? All she could remember was not water, but she needed to put it out before the alarms went off and woke Hunter up.

Um.

Ummmm.

Flour!

Kj had no idea where they kept flour, or if they even had it, but the pancake mix sitting on the counter was the next best thing. Without giving herself a moment to second guess it, she dumped the box of powder onto the stove.

Well... on the stove, in the pan, and on the floor, technically.

She stared at it, willing it to not be all over the place. But, alas, there it was.

Kayla Jane, you’re an idiot.

But at least the apartment wasn’t up in flames.

Sighing, she dropped the empty box on the counter and skated to the corner deigned the living room in her socks. Her sleep tank and shorts were covered in mix now, but when was she ever put together? KJ picked up her phone and quickly ordered Postmates from their favorite diner, like the proper millennial she was. Should’ve done it in the first place, but she wanted to be romantic.

The second phase of the morning was cute enough anyway. It didn’t take her long to get her computer hooked up to their TV and get started on touching up the final bits of editing for her next video. KJ had become pretty savvy with anything techy since her career on YouTube took off. Not that she understood a single thing about engineering or how any of the machines actually functioned, but she could put it all together and operate it pretty easily if you gave her twenty minutes and a 5 Hour Energy to figure it out.

The doorbell rang and she ran to grab their food, knowing full well that he’d definitely get up for that. If he hadn’t smelled the smoke already.

Sure enough, Hunter stepped out of their room just as she finished unpacking their breakfast. KJ would never get over how insanely tall and good looking he was. Like, it wasn’t even fair.

But she sure did appreciate having the injustice in her bed.

He smiled at her and chuckled, probably laughing at how messy she was.

“Don’t go to the kitchen,” she warned, pointing a finger at him threateningly.

“It kind of smells like I should,” he replied.

“You absolutely should not. You should come kiss me and get your present instead.”

“That does sound much more pleasant.”

He graciously leaned down so she could stand on her toes and give him a peck on the mouth. She guided him to sit in front of the television and placed his food in front of him. “Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, sunshine.”

Patience wasn’t really a Faline trait either, so she only gave him enough time to take two bites of food before she climbed into his lap and face the TV. “Okay, I made something.”

“You did? For me?”

“For you.”

“I’m touched.”

“You will be.”

“So will you.” He winked.

She licked his cheek. Then she pressed the enter key on her keyboard.

The video went live on her channel. A shaky close up of Hunter’s forehead came on screen. You could hear KJ’s laughter over the speakers as the camera zoomed out and you were able to see the picnic set up from one of their earliest dates. Minute by minute, the video played through a compilation of vlogs from the last four years of their relationship. Some were of their travel adventures, others were at home where Hunter was obviously unaware that she wasn’t filming. Two consisted of KJ being home alone, lamenting her state of abandonment while Hunter was on a business trip. Every clip, every piece, was carefully chosen to show how perfect they were.

KJ had been on social media for the last three years, but she had never made her relationship public to her audience. Anything regarding Hunter was posted to her private accounts that only friends and family could see. Even her family was often used as clickbait. But Hunter had been reserved as a secret, or marketed as just a friend. And she had never quite been able to explain why.

Part of it had been that she was afraid of karma. If she put them out their publicly, then maybe they’d break up and she’d have to announce to the world that she was alone and her person had left her. Or maybe it was because she was selfish and didn’t want him to get any attention outside of her (and Simon.)

But, around Christmas, she had decided that she wanted the entire planet to know how mad she was for her. She wanted her audience, people she loved and was inspired by, to see how lucky she was.

And she would cut any bitch who tried to bat a single eyelash at him.

The video was only about five minutes long, nowhere near the length of her usual challenges and vlog segments, but there was four years of love pieced throughout it. And she prayed to the universe that he got the bigger picture.

That she loved him more than anything on the entire planet.

It ended and she stretched her head back to see his expression, a proud smile on her face. For a moment, he just continued staring at the screen.

She knew it would take a moment to buffer in his brain. They had discussed forever ago that they’d never go public and he was okay with that. Hunter had never cared one way or the other, but KJ had insisted.

Now...

He looked down at her and she saw his blue eyes glisten. It made her smile wider. He was such an emotional tall man.

Climbing around to wrap her arms and legs around him, she sat up to look him directly in the face. “You’re my person. I’ve staked my claim across the globe now. So if any skanks try to make a move on you while you’re wherever your stupid job sends you, you now have live proof to show them that I will hunt them down and burn their eyebrows off.”

“Oh, it’ll have them and their eyebrows shaking in their kitten heels.” He grinned.

She kissed him. Hard.

“I love you, Green Giant.”

“I love you too, Thumbilina.”

KJ tucked her head into the crook of his neck and gave a happy sigh.

“So... What did you burn?”

“Oh my god, SHUT UP!”

[artistsodyssey]

la la land analysis (SPOILERS)

DISCLAIMER: so this post has been made because, i texted an analysis of la la land to a friend right after we saw it (as she had requested, also because i love doing them) and then more and more people have since wanted to read it and understand it better, and tbh i was getting tired of texting 14 screenshots to people, this is copy and pasted directly from my messages, so here we have this post :) (aka its not a critically appropriately toned/written piece)

so the running theme throughout the whole thing was kind of “life doesnt happen like it does in the movies”, right from the beginning when we first see mia shes on her phone in the car, talking about auditions etc, very modern day. then when it jumps back to seb in his car, hes very “vintage” lets say, so i think her character embodied the modern day film industry and his the whole old hollywood thing.

they paid attention to literally every single tiny detail, like even down to the focusing, sometimes it was standard present day film focus/camera work and other times it was very very much like the blur/noise quality of the old films.

both the lighting and the prop lights were really outstanding too. i noticed the prop lights in so many of the scenes, they were so prominent, especially in the fades. i think this relates into what i was saying in the cinema of it being set in LA (the city of angels) (also i JUST fully got the title, wow ok) that the lights were kind of reminders or something that theyre eachothers angels. the lighting as well was so so beautiful, it was so creative, and definitely was more of a stage technique style than a film one, which i think really helped amalgamate stage and film.

the use of colours in the lighting really set the mood and created the undeniably magical atmosphere. the costumes and colour scheme of just everything really did that too, everyone was wearing a solid colour most of the time and i think that also helped link the whole stage and film thing, as well as give the old hollywood atmosphere.

something that i really noticed as well were the transitions, not between scenes but in the scene, like the camera would pan mid scene, possibly to create the comparison of current vs old hollywood, as well as maybe showing a transition within the character/relationship etc, but it was really interesting to notice.

ok no the opening scene i cANNOT. it was all done in one take, dO YOU KNOW WHAT A FREAKIN CHALLENGE THAT IS, NOT JUST BC OF THE ACTORS AND THE DANCERS ROUTINES AND TIMING ETC, BUT BC OF ALL THE EQUIPMENT. so that was another very stage like kinda thing, the opening scenes job too is to set up the entire story, so the fact that that was all one flowing scene and that it was very much a stage technique is just beautiful. i love it. it establishes the film as not just a film but a theatre piece too.

i think the whole message of the film was in the “city of angels” thing, the old hollywood references and in the ending. i think they were eachothers angels, only meant to be together for the time that they were so they could push eachother to follow their dreams. there were so many references to fate and angels etc, the way they kept showing up places, the song in the restaurant etc, which is why that would make sense.

the way the ending was a montage of an alternative life they could have had (also very stage like too, much appreciated, much difficult to do, anyways) really emphasised the point i think theyre trying to make in that “it only happens in the movies” and life isnt really like that, which is why the ending worked out the way it did. i loved as well how they didnt need to say anything, their eyes said it all like “look at you. you did it.” and that was the finishing note that we didnt hear him play on the piano, (i think the crowd cheered over it??) he couldnt have played it because that wasnt the ending, their stories hadnt had their final perfect cadence yet, the look they gave eachother was that final note, and it had to be bc theyre eachothers angels for that reason^^ and they accomplished what they set out to do.

so then i was thinking, ok the old hollywood thing is great and all but whats the relevance??? WELL i think its that theyre trying to say, like the way they were both struggling artists, how old hollywood made it look so easy and glamorous, and today it seems so hard. i think it was kind of to show that theyre not all that different, old and current hollywood. (side note: i just realised the whole “bring back jazz thing” is the same as them bringing back old hollywood) that it may seem like its entirely different now, but in a lot of ways its actually not??? so i think that relates into the whole city of angels and fate thing again, that fate and angels have always been around and that wont change. i think as well the montage at the end is suggesting, in addition to that last sentence^^, that although fate is always going to be there, life could still take any direction and you have control over that, yet still showing just how powerful fate is. i think thats a message as well to aspiring artists, that although auditions are all about chances and probability etc, you have at least some power to make your own path.

there was a lot in it too regarding that last part^^, like for other artists, in that you shouldnt be making your art to be pleasing other people, it should be for you firstly and everyone else is a bonus, between him in that band and her having nobody at her play. and then they both tried to give up and “grow up” but they knew they werent happy and followed their dreams in the end.

then there were loads of small bits of symbolism too that helped out the main story, i cant remember everything but when the rialto closed, it was at the same time their relationship started ending. when the fire alarm went off during their fight, it was the alarm in her head telling her to leave, it was also at the same time whatever had burned in the oven was revealed, just as their relationship had “burned” or run its course, there was a thermostat on the wall at some point and the wall was like a warm colour and you could see her shadow as she entered and that was kind of the warm homey happy feel she had there.

the little bits of comedy in it too were just right, like it spiced it up just perfectly. but omg overall literally everything was a perfect balance. it deserves all 14 oscars its nominated for tbh.

also, during the montage at the end when she was playing with the children, it helps when you dont think about it as “heres a montage of emma stone playing with multiple random children.”

(analytical messages from the second time seeing it, that were mussed the first)

so in the first audition when shes on the phone, shes all happy and talking at first then suddenly it gets sad and shes crying and then she gets interrupted. it was aLL FORESHADOWING OF THE ENTIRE STORY. FIRST THEYRE ALL HAPPY TOGETHER AND EVERYTHINGS GOING GREAT, THEN THEY BREAK UP AND ITS ALL OVER, AND THEN IT CUTS TO 5 YEARS LATER.

there were a lot of old hollywood references i missed the first time too, there was one actually that i noticed the first time but forgot to mention, was at the end when she walks into the coffee shop, shes dressed exactly like audrey hepburn, referencing all those movies. BUT OMG you know the scene when they go to the observatory?? i noticed his acting was very very old hollywood, i got that the first time but didnt think much of it, but then tonight i was like hmm reminds me of the short film “la voyage dans la lune” by george melies, it was made in like 1919 or something and was one of the first few films. BUT THEN it showed the ceiling of the observatory of people like dancing or something idk fEATURING A MOON, IT ACTUALLY WAS REFERENCING THAT FILM (bc in the film they all get on this lil rocket and crash into the moon but the moon is made of cheese etc)

so thats it, these are literally copy and pasted from texts, which is why its all typed like that. i hope you can understand and appreciate the film better now :))

[oswednesday]

The first dream i remember having i was like, at a school like a high school or something and it was ruled over by like a Big Corporation that was thinly vieled nazism kinda thing (i watched something last night that def influenced this) and i was important in some way to the counter culture movement so that the corporation who has like infiltrated the school but in an obvious way was out to get me and like a body guard guy had summoned??? All these shopping carts to clothes line me like the grocery bar was against my throat  and that had me kinda hearts eyes but then i had a teacher who was kinda like stien from soul eater who was like defending me all like hey leave them alone and hey! Knock that off at me being hearts eyes and was like protecting me and i went back to? The dorms? I guess? Then there was a cut scene about the new obviously evil headmaster? Principal? Was convincing this stien stand in that they should totally use my trust and experiement on me just Cut me open and then the dream changed,

 it was still a school setting but motre like a college or a later highschool prep course and it was an art class were we were learning about an artist who did instalations with simple but effectie things and wrote about the small table instalations she did on an old computer or other “outdated” technology and i had mine all set up and the teacher would sit at the table to eperience it and grade, it came my turn and he wasnt grading just talking a lot and a lot and like spilling crumbs from out of his body? And was like praising my peice a lot while moving stuff and not grading and im cleaning it up and re-setting the thing up and he’s moved on to grade a different table, and the class had changed and i was really upset as i was cleaning up after th guy and i had just finished cleaning up as the next class came in and the artist herself like younger? Than we were learning about sat down at my table, she was wearing a red sweater over a white collared shirt, 

and then i had a different dream  it was like this really nice sorta beachy house with a stage setting from the 90s sorta vibe (like magnectic chalkboard with big number/letter magnects and mishmatching tile and patterns but not in an unpleasant way like a pbs show setting) and it was my house and  i was living with mom and i think my brothers were there, they were there in the dream later anyway, and her new boyfriend in the dream, and i was messing around with the magnects, listening to music and in the dream her new boyfriend was a member of the band i really liked that she went out of her way to like Take that from me, and he hadn’t come out of their bedroom really since he moved in, my mom was out and i got up to make some food we had rasin bagels which i dont typically care for cause theyre like sticky? And my dream really managed to recrete that tack feeling of rasin bagels and i was like grumble Better Ask Her New Boyfriend If He Wants A Bagel and he was like oh sure comes out of the bedroom and i was like oh boy here we go and like he got his bagel ready and i went back to the magnect board with mine and for some reason he followed me and started to ask questions about me and i was like idk maybe you’d know if you talked to me ever and he was like oh, your mom said you didnt like me and i was like LOL and just went IN telling him about EVERYTHING and he was like super appaled telling me like the kind of lies my mom was telling him and he was like i still really like your mom maybe i can get her help and id like it if you’d call me dad and again i was like LOL over that in dream and he was like okay we’ll can we at least try and the dream transistioned to like a theatre that one of my brothers was involved with and my mom had one of the others and was dotting on him and this dream stepdad person was the one who brought me even tho my mom was like def not into that was like hey come sit over here instead cause my mom had sat in a place that Looked good but the speakers were actually right under where he had sat and my mom was furious and then the play had a drop down screen with projected trailers and the dream turned into that it was like a world where colors were vanishing and like a girl living on the street got the ability to return colors to things and the queen had her like color all her wild outfits and soon people were coming to the city to get it done and there was somekinda inta-girl drama with dramatic music and then an outfit that turned the entire queen into a bronze statue with a swirling halo of birds and the screen with a quick pan up in that animated trailer kind of way to birds and a ferris wheel and balloons that at first filled with color but as the “camera” went up to the clouds top down the balloons became simple cartoon-y eyes (like the art style was like the minimist realism anime) and the title was dropping down between the watercolory white blue clouds but then i woke up before i could see what the title was!!

[captain-spookycandycollecti-blog]

iowa insurance market

"iowa insurance market

iowa insurance market

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iowa insurance market

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iowa insurance market

iowa insurance market

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My son's car was totaled and the insurance company offered us a very low price?

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What is the best type of renters insurance available in California?

I want to get renters insurance in California, any good affordable ones available? I noticed nationwide and statefarm are not available here. I am using Geico for car insurance. TIA!""

Is athem blue cross a good insurance?

Is it really a good insurance?

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I am just curious. My old ex GF had 3 kids before age 21. One of which ended up needed urgent care after birth and died in the hospital a few days later. So the hospital stays were definitely not cheap. She has no insurance, no parents have insurance either and arent in her life at all. I am curious as to how she ended up paying for all this? My guess is that she is in serious credit card debt for all this but I wanted to know how this is possible? Any opinions?""

iowa insurance market

iowa insurance market

""If I bought the DB9 they wrecked in the Bond movie, where can I get it repaired really cheap.?

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Anthem Blue Cross Insurance?

Does anyone here has any problem with Anthem, Blue Cross Insurance on making phone call or trying to contact them any way? Every time I tried to call them, I have to be on hold for at least 30 minutes, sometime 1 hour but still couldn't get any help from them. I feel they are helpless, careless...bad service Insurance as I ever know.""

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Not health savings accounts ...Is there anything by the government for Americans trying to live the American Dream on a modist income.

Person A driving person B's car and hits my car. Who's insurance pays?

Person A driving Person B's car. Person A backed up into my car. Who's insurance pays? Person A because he was driving? Person B because it's her car? Or my insurance because I have full coverage? What are the consequences if I file through my insurance company? Will my insurance go up even if it's not my fault? I think not but if you know for sure that would be helpful. Any and all information is helpful!! Thanks!

Affordable medical insurance?

I'm looking for an affordable medical insurance that will primarily be used for prescriptions. I don't need a huge hospital deductible. Any ideas?

Affordable health insurance in florida?

im 17, will be 18 in november, and i need to find health insurance. i need it to cover dental (orthodontics), prescriptions, and mental health services (depression, bipolar disorder). i am a non smoker, and i have no kids. please help!!!""

Whats a good health insurance company for when the baby is born.?

Is there any inexpensive insurance companys. I am financialy not able to provide the best but I want to atleast have health insurance on the baby. I am looking at affordable. I live in North Louisiana.

Good place to buy car insurance for an 18 year old?

I'm 18 and just recently passed my driving test. Problem is, my Dad wants to put me down as a second driver on his car but it's a BMW sport with a 2L engine. The cheapest quote I could find is 4,500 annually, which my Dad is not prepared to pay of course. Some companies were even asking for 40,000 which is just a joke! I have been driving this car for over a year and now that I finally have my license, I'm pretty annoyed that I'm not able to drive the car that's just sitting outside. Anyone know any other routes I could take? Weekly car insurance? Monthly? Ideally I'd like to have a quotes of less than 1600 annually, but now it seems unlikely. Buying another car is not an option as I'm going to Uni in a couple of months and will not be needing it anymore. Any suggestions would be helpful, thanks.""

Car insurance question?

I just turned 16 and got my driving permit. I would be using my grandmothers car and she has erie insurance. My question is.. Am I allowed to practice driving on the car even without getting insurance? She insists that I'm not allowed to unless I get insurance but everyone else I know does it without. She thinks that I am going to get in a crash because I can't keep my room clean. (wtf?)

""Im from the UK.Around how much would insurance cost for me a 17 yr old girl, buying a 1999-2000 toyota celica?

All helpful answers appreciated. Stupid answers are not welcome !

How much will insurance cost for a 2009 kawasaki 250 ninja for a 16 year old?

i would just like to get an idea....i live in northern Ontario

My insurance and how it'll go up in September?

I just received insurance. I am a brand new driver 18 in about thirty days. Just now bought myself a car and just now got insured on my Grandparent's insurance.Currently now, it's only $48 a month, but the insurance man said that it'll go up in September. It makes sense, considering that right now I'm only paying a part of the package. So I understand that. With me being a new driver, how much will this all go up? Are we talking about $150? I did not take driver's ed, but I am eligible for the Good Student discount. I know you can't tell me directly, because neither could he. It all changes. But can anyone give me maybe a ballpark? I'm female. Good student. New driver. Thank you!""

Question for LIFE INSURANCE BROKERS or salespeople!!!!?

From a insurance brokers perspective; What is the advantages for a client who buys TERM LIFE insurance, over WHOLE OF LIFE insurance, in your opinion???""

What is the cheapest auto insurance for a 19 year old female?

I am soon going to buy a used Toyota Corolla and I live in North Carolina. I am just starting to get my driver's license and I was wondering what auto insurance is cheaper? Would it be cheaper if I was on my parents auto insurance?

Would a fix it ticket raise your insurance?

I just got pulled over for a minor issue. My tags were expired, but I had the new sticker and I just forgot to put it on. I got a fix it ticket and I was just curious if it would affect my insurance. I live in California.""

How much will the insurance be on a 2007 Vauxhall corsa 1.2 sxi?

im 16 but driving soon. i might be getting a black corsa sxi for my first car on fiance. How much will the insurance be? its only insurance group 3

Anyone knowing the best/cheapest auto insurance for young drivers?

Hello! I am a young driver (19) who is looking to buy a new 2007 ford mustang (the deep red color). I really want this car but it looks like there is no way that I will be able to afford the auto insurance for this thing. Anyone know the best company for me to speak with? Any advice or tips will help. Thanks!

Can you remove yourself from your parents' health insurance voluntarily?

I just would like to know. Is it possible? Thanks.

""Are you still required to have car insurance, even tho you don't have a car anymore?""

I'm under my parents car insurance, I got rid of my car months ago. But they told me today that they're still paying for my car insurance, even tho I don't even drive anymore, not even my parents car. I live in NY, I take a taxi 100% of the time, so that's why I got rid of my car. But, am I still required to have car insurance? Seems like a major scam and BS to me, since I'm not even gonna be using it at all considering I don't have a car anymore. My parents said Hanover, the insurance, wants all licensed drivers in the household, to remain under the insurance, even my grandpa. And he hasn't owned a car for decades now. Don't know if I should even believe this.""

Average car insurance rates for people under 21 years old?

Average car insurance rates for people under 21 years old?

Which is the best Home Loan insurance?

Hi, i have taken Home loan of Rs. 10 Lac from HDFC. and want to protect my loan through insurance. can any body tell me that , which is the best home loan insurance plan or policy. HDFC recommend to me its own HDFC ERGO for home loan. is it best for me or any ohter option to chosse me. Please advice. LK Sharma""

""On average, how much would motorcycle insurance be for a 16 year old?""

I am 16, i will be 17 when i get my bike. Im pretty sure it is going to be a Kawasaki Ninja 250. Could anyone tell me about how much it would be to insure it. I live in Pennsylvania.""

How much would it be for insurance on two vehicles if one was a classic?

I am buying a car soon, and i am getting two one is going to be a 1990 GMC Sierra z71 stepside, and the other one is going to be and older car from a 1970-1973, do any of you have a clue how much it would cost a month or would i have to go to an insurance company to do that""

iowa insurance market

iowa insurance market

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/quote-vs-proposal-insurance-patrick-campbell"

[andrebolgarow]

My journey began Thursday 13th July 2017 from Melbourne. Sitting in the car heading towards Melbourne Airport being escorted by my mother, it hadn't quite sunk in that I was finally about to embark on my adventure.Getting lost in the world. I had been dreaming of this moment ever since I was 17 years old replaying what it would be like in my head, what I would get up to, where I would go first and who would I meet along the way.  Over the years I made multiple lists of all the equipment I may need from clothing to camping food as I wanted to be self sufficient throughout my travels and of course save a bit of coin. I had researched and drew up multiple maps and itineraries of where I would go and how I would get to each place with the hope of trying to get around any way possible, the only exception, a plane, being inspired by the documentary "By Any Means Possible".I planned to hitchhike from my house up the coast of Australia, catch a lift on a boat from Darwin to Indonesia then explore every nook and cranny of the world.But so far thats not how it panned out. I didnt go buy camping equipment.I didnt go buy a whole heap of travel clothing and accessories.I didnt even research the country I was going too.  And those pre planned iterneries......well I dont even know where they went.So I ended up booking a one way flight to Penang with no other plans except seeing my mate Chris who is living in Langkawi on a boat that he is minding for someone he met in a bar whilst in Penang. I didnt tell Chris that I had booked my flight at that point as I was going to surprise him. Fortunately he called me the next day and told me if I am going to come down I should do it very soon as his other friend Charlie whom he also met at a bar in Langkawi, invited Chris to go sailing and wanted to go asap  So as I was sitting in the car headed towards the Airport I realised that i didn’t quite feel that excitement, the enthusiasm that was buzzing through me all these years. I felt depressed, nervous and worried instead.Having these negative emotions made me feel even more depressed and confused because this is what I had been dreaming about all these years, and now the opportunity was finally on my door step I felt a sense of being overwhelmed. Well, overwhelmed or not I had no choice as I was headed towards Penang, Malaysia. I arrived in Penang, going by Chris's directions I was supposed to meet him at the Jetty in Georgetown and wait by the bus terminal. I took the bus from the airport to Georgetown Jetty and asked the female bus driver if this is the right bus."Yes" Great! Im on my way. Carrying 16kilos distributed between my front bag which has all my camera gear and Laptop, on my back a large Blue Northface duffle bag backpack with all my clothes, realizing just after an hour of being in the country im feeling the heat and that I definitely brought too many things.I had about 4 hours to kill so I walked around Little India looking for a bite to eat and a beer before Chris arrived from Langkawi. My first meal in Malaysia - Fish PhoMy first drink in Malaysia - Tiger Beer After four hours of wandering and eating I went to go meet Chris at what I thought was meant to be the meeting point - Pangkalan Raja Tun Uda Ferry Terminal jetty. So I waited at what was to be the wrong Jetty for about 30 min, thought to myself I better ask and double check if this is the right terminal as my phone wasnt working and Chris's phone was out of battery so we couldn't contact each other. I was told to walk a km and look for The big Clock Tower. So I marched on with the sun beaming on my mellon, 16 kg's strapped to my body and eventually found the right terminal, It was nice to see a familiar face again. So we went and had a beer. We booked a couple of tickets via chris's mobile once we tried all four different back up battery charger units that I brought with me. We had to get the bus to Terengganu where we were to meet with Chris’s friend Charlie who had invited both of us to go sailing through the Malaysian islands and on to Thailand aboard his catamaran.

Meeting up with Charlie took a little longer than expected.We got on the bus that we booked online, leaving from Penang bus terminal.Six hours later after being woken up we were told that we had arrived and to get off at that particular stop. It was night, we had just woken up and we were sitting at this terminal trying to make sense of where exactly we were. We were definitely not in Terengganu, actually we were in Kota Bharu which was three hours away.

We couldn’t understand why the bus driver had told us to get off at this point.We were told that we had to get a taxi to Kelantan to then get another bus to Terengganu, so we got on the bus that we were instructed to get on. “Great were on our way” so I thought. 

Feeling exhausted after the ten hour overnight flight and a one hour stop over at kualar Lumpur, I fell asleep again and when I woke up I noticed that the scenery outside was exactly the same as when we left. We had gone to the Thai border and back again…… Chris had realised when we got to the border but didn’t think it was necessary to wake me, probably a good idea. We were both a bit over it by this stage and went and got some breakfast before we hopped on another bus.

We reluctantly got on another bus that we were told was taking us to Terengganu, but NOT to our surprise, there are two bus terminals in Terengganu, the one we got off was in Kuala Besut OOMMGG. We asked around again for the bus that we need to get to our destination, no one could give us a straight answer except that a local bus will come in 3 hours so we gambled waiting for this mystery bus. What’s an extra 3 hours after all the mishaps that have happen so far. The bus arrived and had a sign on it saying Kuala Terengganu so we jumped on not having much expectation of where we will end up this time but a 2 hour bus trip later we finally arrived to our destination. Tired and frustrated, although relieved we went and had some comfort food (KFC) and met up with Charlie and went for a well deserved drink and booked into a hotel. ​​