#i didnt know if it was ok to tag directly so i just did a lil slash

[chernabogs]

I made this post yesterday which @/hanafubukki and @/rayroseu and I kind offfff got inspired to actually write something LMAO

Labours Gained

Inc: Malleus, groundskeeper, nanny, briefly Maleficia WC: 2.2k Warnings: None, except swearing Summary: Consequences for your actions come in many forms. For some, it's a time out. For others, it's mucking around in mud all day.

Eirnan was a man who has endured many challenges in his life. Over 600 years of employment as head groundskeeper at Black Scale Palace meant he had faced wyrms, blight, drought, tenebrae boars which had torn up the root vegetables, and the odd employee who nicked a few carrots for their own personal use. He had served during Queen Maleficia’s first reign, and then the wars, and now her second reign. He knew which plots of land were most fertile for which plants, he knew of companion flowers and the medicinal benefits of the herbs, and his mind was an almanac of its own right. 

Eirnan was a learned man… until it came to the matter of child-care. He never knew how to act around children, nor did he have any interest in interacting with them to begin with. 

But now it’s a beautiful cloudy day in Black Scale Palace, and there is a very, very miserable boy standing before him. 

He’s poorly dressed for the occasion—fine garments in the fields are a recipe for disaster—and the eight o’clock hour shows residual glossiness in those green eyes. His arms are crossed firmly over his chest and his lower lip is jutted out in a pout. 

Crown Prince Malleus is a temperamental boy—everyone in Black Scale knows this. His latest explosion of emotion regarding an off-handed comment a tutor said (it was a jest! the man had cried while diving for cover behind trees to avoid furious lightning bolts) had resulted in a complete annihilation of the palace gardens. Eirnan had spent much of yesterday repairing the damage while mumbling about how ‘some things truly are genetic’ under his breath. 

Then he had received a missive. A missive, which led them to this moment, in which he stands before the prince with his own arms crossed over his chest and his own equally unimpressed expression on his face. At a glance, one would think the two are related with how mirrored these looks are. 

Eirnan pulls out a pocket watch and raises an eyebrow. “On time today, hm?” 

“I was told not to be late,” Malleus bites back, attitude in his tone as he glares up at the groundskeeper. He doesn’t want to be here. Eirnan doesn’t want him here either. It’s Queen Maleficia who has shoved them together like two children in a time out. 

Eirnan can’t help but wonder if he may have slighted her in the past and this is her round of revenge. 

“Right, well, you’re on time but you’re certainly not dressed right.” His gaze skims over the boy's proper attire before raising to look at his nanny instead. The woman ducks her head and focuses intently on the book she holds, making it obvious that no aid will be given. This earns a scoff from Eirnan as he reaches up to rub the back of his neck. 

What exactly can he make the prince do? Queen Maleficia made it clear that a lesson was to be learned today for his actions. Malleus was barred from using any magic, and the nanny was here to ensure that this was followed through. The prince knew no loyalty or secrets were kept by his staff—a sad reality for a seven year old to face. 

“It isn’t like I just have clothes to get dirty lying about.” Malleus retorts again while continuing to glare up at him. There is little to no remorse present—just sheer grouchiness. “I don’t usually muck in mud.” 

“Well, you’re mucking in it today.” Eirnan can’t help but have his own bite in his words as he turns and treks towards the nearby gardening shed. Malleus stands rooted in his spot for a moment before following, having to run a little to keep up with the older man's long strides. 

The inside of the shed contains the extra attire that the staff wear when working the fields in the on-season. Although the prince is significantly smaller than many of Eirnan’s employees, he does manage to scrounge up some pants, a top, and gloves for the boy to wear. 

The shoes are a lost cause. There are no boots that can fit the boy without making him goose walk around the field.

“Put these on then, either over your clothes or not, and then meet me back outside.” He tosses the fabric into the prince’s arms, making the boy stumble back with an oof! of surprise. Malleus looks down at the clothing before his lip curls in disgust. Eirnan does his best to stifle the satisfaction he feels about that as he steps out of the shed and slams the door shut. 

It’s a beautiful cloudy day in Black Scale Palace, and this is going to be a long ordeal.

_____________________________________________________________

Twenty minutes of protest later finds Eirnan and Malleus standing before a re-soiled plot of garden near the edges of the palace. The boy's act of destruction yesterday had uprooted a majority of the roses that had been planted there, but a few bushes still remained standing—albeit charred and drooping from the assault. Near their feet are bundles of rose plants that Eirnan had been soaking in the greenhouse overnight in preparation for what was to come today.

The nanny had followed them to this area and is watching with interest from her position on a nearby bench. Malleus looks significantly less intrigued. His gloves are lying discarded on the grass along with his shovel and there’s a distinct air of boredom about him. 

“So, what we’re going to do is use our shovels to dig up some holes, ‘bout 18 inches deep, 18 inches wide, yes? Then I need you to mix compost in there—”

“Compost?” Malleus’ head snaps to look up at Eirnan wide-eyed. “But I read that compost has—”

“Shit. Yes, there’s shit in there. Do you still want to fight about putting on those gloves?” Eirnan leans against his own shovel as he looks down at the young boy. Malleus’ brow furrows and his lower lip trembles before he’s grabbing the gloves and shoving them on his hands. He looks ready to cry or throw another tantrum. Eirnan tenses in case that does happen, the memories of the tutor running through the gardens yesterday still fresh in his mind. If Malleus’ does snap, that means he’ll be out here tomorrow, too.

Tough lesson. 

“Anyway, mix the compost, and then we need to loosen the roots and put them in the mound. Keep the bud union—that’s the little knob there.” He pauses to squat down and point at the bud on the root. Malleus leans down to look at it as well before Eirnan continues. “About 1 to 2 inches below the ground. Briar Valley has a colder climate, so if we keep it up, it’ll kill the plant.” 

“If a plant can’t survive the weather, should we really be planting it?” Malleus’ question is fair. Most of the time, one wouldn’t try to grow plants that can’t acclimate well. 

“They can survive, they just need a little help. Princess Meleanor herself was an enormous admirer of roses—it’s her notes of how to plant them that we’re following right now.” Eirnan clears his throat before re-focusing on his explanation. He misses the flicker of interest in the prince’s gaze at the mention of his mother’s name. “As I said, keep it below ground. Then we refill the hole ‘bout three quarters with soil and pat it down. Water it a little, let it soak, and then water it again.” 

“There are too many steps.” Malleus grabs at the shovel with an apprehensive glance at the dirt. “Can’t we use a little magic? We don’t need to use it for all of the steps, but one or two? I can just make all the holes appear—” 

“No magic. Her highness’ strict orders. Unless you want Queen Maleficia to come out here and watch you herself, which I’m sure is the last thing you want, I’d advise listening to instructions.” Eirnan grabs at his own shovel before tapping it on the back of the prince’s heels, making the boy step forward. “Hop to it, then. This will take up a good part of your morning.” 

___________________________________________________________

The first few plantings are painful. The boy doesn’t dig deep enough, and then he digs too deep, and then he buries the plant too deep, and then he doesn’t bother burying it at all. The process reminds Eirnan why he never had any children himself as he carefully explains and fixes all of the prince’s errors. Despite his complaints, the boy actually does listen to his advice, and soon the two fall into a quiet pattern of dig-plant-water. 

The compost part is still met with many vocalized protests, though, and Eirnan soon does relent to doing that himself. 

“How long does it take to grow?” 

Malleus’ question disrupts the silence they had fallen into, causing Eirnan to pause and lean on his shovel again. “Three or so years for these ones. The one’s that are still rooted are fully mature, but I’m not too sure they’ll be blooming this year. The buds got damaged.” 

Malleus, who has been sitting cross legged on the dirt with a bundle of rose plants in his hand, stares at the bushes for a moment while his thumb plays with the stems. “Did my mother plant those ones?” 

“Before she left, yes. She used to plant new ones at least once every few years. When she got her own palace, she had an entire garden there as well.” Eirnan digs another hole as he speaks. He had been in service long enough to see Meleanor weaned off of Queen Maleficia. The girl had sat where Malleus sits now, and their near identical likeness strikes Eirnan as unnerving, as though he’s been projected into the past and is witnessing those spring days once more. 

He clears his throat. “They’ll recover. Roses are hardy plants. Strike ‘em down, and they’ll get back twice as strong.” 

“Are you sure?” Malleus looks up at the groundskeeper, his green eyes squinting against the light. Eirnan doesn’t look back as he keeps digging. 

“Mhm.” 

At the affirmation, the prince returns to planting, now with significantly less attitude than before. He’s almost enjoying the rhythm after a while. Despite his status, in the end the boy is still a boy, and it’s hard to keep a child from loving messing around in dirt. 

It’s when the nanny clears her throat and brings over a basket of food that the two finally take a break from their labours to sit in the nearby grass. Eirnan rarely gets to appreciate the fine foods served to the nobles, so he’s indulging himself heartily in the miniature sandwiches that are present when Malleus begins to speak again. 

“How long have you been doing this?” 

Eirnan pauses, ham sandwich halfway to his mouth. “647 this spring.” 

“647 years?” The boy's voice is incredulous as he looks at him. “You’re old.” 

“And you’re a baby.” Eirnan grumbles back as he wraps a few of the sandwiches in a napkin. 

His comment causes another flash of annoyance to cross the prince’s face. “I’m not! Grandma says I’m very mature for my age!” 

“Did she say that to you before yesterday, or after?” He challenges back. Malleus’ cheeks flush as he grabs at a sandwich and takes a bite. After a few more, the scowl on his face softens before he continues his questioning. 

“Why do you do this? The manual work? It’s easier with magic.” 

“Keeps my stress down.” Eirnan chuckles. The nanny gives a sound that might be mistaken as a laugh, which is quickly covered by a cough while she begins packing the extra food. He mourns the finger sandwiches being lost to the basket. “There’s always something to do for these gardens, and when you’re planting, you can let your mind just fall quiet. Watching something that you worked hard to grow get appreciated by others is a rewarding feeling. Magic takes away from that. The instant gratification fades faster than the long-term that labour brings.” 

Malleus falls quiet again as he finishes his sandwich. He then fiddles with his gloves, which are still too big for his small hands. He has dirt on his cheek and his chin that he seems entirely unaware of. Eirnan offers him a napkin to wipe it off, albeit gruffly.

“It isn’t bad.” Malleus finally mumbles when he accepts the napkin and hastily wipes his face. 

“What, using magic?” 

“No, planting.” Then Malleus looks up quickly with another furrow in his brow. “Except the compost. The compost is bad.” 

“It’s shit.” Eirnan shrugs his shoulders and ignores the sharp look the nanny gives him. Malleus’ lips do twitch slightly into a smirk. 

“It’s shit.” The boy repeats, causing the nanny to say his name in a scolding tone, which finally does draw a laugh from the prince. “How many more do we need to plant?” 

“Three, maybe four. Shouldn’t take long.” Eirnan rises with a grunt and brushes a few spare crumbs off of his pants. The prince is quick to scramble to his feet as well. He seems oddly reinvigorated as he pulls his gloves on and grabs his shovel. He then cranes his head back to look up at the taller man with a spark of challenge in his gaze as that cheeky smirk continues to play on his lips. 

“Let’s hop to it then, shall we?”

Eirnan snorts in amusement as the two return to the dirt patch, both unaware of the figure watching from the windows of the palace above, a pleased smile present on her lips.

[ji-lixie]

ive never hated a doctor quicker than i have now.

[iamred-iamyellow]

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ Spice Up Your Life

♥ masterlist | request rules

♥ pairing: max verstappen x fem!beckham!model!reader

♥ synopsis: you’re the daughter of victoria and david beckham. ginger spice, aka geri halliwell and the wife of red bull principal was in a pop group with your mom, allowing you to visit the paddock frequently and meet the one and only max verstappen.

♥ smau - fc: isabelle mathers + girls on pinterest - as always none of the pictures are mine <3

♥ warnings: swearing !!!

♥ a/n: ft. a few familiar footballers and no horner

-August 2024-

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ynbeckham home sweet home

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judebellingham i’ll let the united kit slide for now

ynbeckham 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

user7 i need more judeyn content

k.mbappe @/ynbeckham your dad played for madrid too you know

ynbeckham @/k.mbappe yea i know

vinijr damn 😐

ynbeckham i love you guys I swear 🫶

manchesterunited welcome back

ynbeckham let’s start the season strong 💪

user1 she is her

user6 let’s go man u girlies

user2 stop it why is @/maxverstappen in her likes?

user3 because he has good taste?

user5 i’ve seen yn at madrid games sitting next to carlos so maybe max has seen her 🤷‍♀️

user7 @/user5 it’s that versainz influence

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ynbeckham madrid

tagged; @/judebellingham

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erling awh she even wore your kit

judebellingham i know 😍

user1 bet max wishes she was wearing his number lol

carlossainz55 @/ynbeckham i knew you’d come around eventually

ynbeckham peer pressure

realmadrid @/ynbeckham you love us

ynbeckham @/realmadrid i do 😔

user2 i LOVED seeing david & victoria there with yn

user3 right! it was so sweet

user4 the way they were cheering on jude too 🥹

user5 idk anything about the judeyn lore…

user4 @/user5 i gotchu! with davud being who he is yn had immediate connections to the world of football. madrid and united are the two teams most people know him from so yn quickly made friends with a lot of the players like jude!

maxverstappen1 feels like everyone was there except me 😅

ynbeckham you didn’t miss out on too much but you should totally come down to the pitch one day 🙃

maxverstappen1 @/ynbeckham maybe i can just invite you over to the paddock this weekend?

ynbeckham @/maxverstappen1 ill check my schedule

user7 SMOOTH

user8 stop it did max just pick up yn in her comment section 😭

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

You pulled an already opened white envelope from your counter and spoke directly to your phone, which was recording you.

"I'm sure we've all seen the Max comments, everyone was raving about it. What I want to know is... who told her?" you pointed at the camera, sunlight reflecting off of the charms on your nails.

"I got this letter from Geri with a Red Bull paddock pass inside," you stated, pulling the lanyard out of the envelope. You flipped the pass ID over to show the camera up close, "Valid for: All Days."

You stepped back from the camera with a knowing look on your face, putting your hands on your hips.

You tilted your head, "I guess I'll see you in Monza."

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

yns insta story

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user1 she wasn’t joking 😭 she’s actually in monza

user2 whatever max wants max gets

davidbeckham i’ll be in the mercedes garage if you need me x

ynbeckham ok 🙂↕️

redbullracing @/davidbeckham you won’t be joining us?

davidbeckham @/redbullracing maybe i’d join you if i had a valid pass like yn

redbullracing 😬

user3 THEY DIDNT EVEN GIVE HIM PASSES HAHAHAHDJDJD

user5 no fucking wonder he’s hanging out at mclaren and mercedes 😭

user7 gonna need someone out there to record her and max's meeting tbh

gerihalliwell glad to see you put the paddock pass to use! can't wait to see @/victoriabeckham in Vegas <3

♡ by ynbeckham and victoriabeckham

user9 you couldn't get david passes too?

gerihalliwell I got 2 to give away... my hands are tied

user12 double it and give it to the next disgruntled dad

user8 lets go spice girls vegas reunion

user10 if they're gonna make vegas a whole thing we might as well have geri and victoria sing like they did in '97 for the mclaren car launch

user14 the f1 spice girls lore runs so deep

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-Post Race Interview-

”Max how did you feel about your race today?”

“Uhm,” he scratched his head. “Definitely could have done better, the car could’ve been better, but you know congrats to Charles.”

“I saw the Beckhams in the paddock today. How do you feel about Y/n cheering you on in your garage today?”

“It felt great you know? I’ve always wanted to meet her and her family. I’ve talked to two of the spice girls now so we’re getting close to crossing that off the bucket list.” he laughed. 

”Alright, thank you Max,” the interviewer said and he walked off.

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by charlesleclerc, scuderiaferrari, maxverstappen1, and 974,635 more

ynbeckham adorando il mio tempo qui in Italia 🇮🇹 @/charlesleclerc congrats on the win, i know tifosi is proud !! @/maxverstappen1 it was truly great to meet you, i hope we run into each other again soon <3

translation: adoring my time here in italy

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redbullracing we were glad to have you in the paddock yn!

ynbeckham thank you so much for having me <3

judebellingham you better invite me next time

redbullracing @/judebellingham i’ll try my best to🫡

k.mbappe @/redbullracing if you invite him you have to invite the whole team otherwise it’s just unfair

redbullracing it’s just an inchident

user1 oh and you just know max is shaking right now

charles_leclerc he dropped his phone

maxverstappen1 @/charles_leclerc delete this

user2 seems like max won’t be following charles on insta any time soon

user3 i loved seeing her in the paddock today! i don’t think i’ve seen her at any events other than for modeling or footy

user5 hopefully she’ll keep coming back

scuderiaferrari tifosi is definitely proud of charles! i’m sure they’d be happy to see you one day in our garage @/ynbeckham 😉

ynbeckham admin 🤭

redbullracing @/scuderiaferrari stop trying to steal our new mascot you already have leo and now roscoe

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ynbeckham getting ready for the versace runway

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bellahadid cant wait to see you walk ❤️

judebellingham still upset I wasnt invited but whatever

k.mbappe yeah get in line

user1 you are SO stunning

maxverstappen1 can't wait to see you

ynbeckham 🫶

user2 wait a damn minute max is gonna be there?

user3 or does he just mean see her again in general lmao 😭

user2 @/user3 why would he mean that?

user3 @/user2 I dunno he posts comments like they're private texts

user7 why are we not freaking out over the heart yn posted

user6 maxyn crumbs

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liked by donatella_versace, judebellingham, landonorris, and 2,842,473 more

versace a collection unapologetically positive and authentically Very Versace…

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ynbeckham it was an absolute honor <3

francisca.cgomes you looked stunning 😘

ynbeckham thank you kika 💋

user8 the three of them ate the runway up

landonorris hire me next

ynbeckham I think max would make the perfect model 😍

landonorris ...

user2 shes whipped for him

user3 is she wrong tho

gigihadid great to see you again Lewis <3 its been a long time

♡ by lewishamilton

user7 hang on let them cook

user12 yns dress >>

user5 lewis is completing his side quests rn

judebellingham our girl walked a runway 🥹

vinjir shes all grown up

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

yns insta story

liked by gigihadid, judebellingham, k.mbappe, and 563,493 more

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ynbeckham GUESS WHO HAS A DATE

judebellingham it was about time

user1 whoever it is wife her up

carlossainz55 if i’m the date does that mean we get to go to a madrid game

ynbeckham @/carlossainz55 wow using me for clout much

maxverstappen @/ynbeckham @/carlossainz55 couldn’t be me

user2 MAX 😭

user3 max is putting in the WORK

user5 wait a minute does this mean her date is not max?

user7 wdym?

user5 he didn’t like the post and sure he commented but certainly he wouldn’t still be trying to put moves on her is they were already going out…

user6 @/user5 you better be lying 😭

user10 NO please I need maxyn

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maxverstappen1 a much needed vacation before vegas

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user1 max blink twice if you need help 😰

user2 i’m really starting to lose hope in maxyn

user3 why was he at versace then?

user4 i dunno having the seven time world champ and the two current champ contenders there is good for business maybe?

user5 yn is still going to vegas tho

user6 she could just be going there for her mom and geri

user7 guys..

user10 no please they were just flirting in comments like two days ago

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ynbeckham it’s race weekend! how are we feeling?

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manchesterunited feeling like you abandoned us :/

user10 i can’t believe she’s missing united vs city for this 😔

ynbeckham i have to support my man this comment has been deleted

user1 yn we need a vegas vlog 😩

user2 spice girls reunion go crazy in the chat

gigihadid i’ll see you again soon <3

ynbeckham <3

judebellingham wish i could be there

ynbeckham call me when your season is over

user3 judeyn…

user7 guys what if she’s dating jude

judebellingham @/user7 i can confidently say she’s not

user7 @/judebellingham but what if that’s a cover up 🫣

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

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f1 for the second time in a row max vestappen has won the vegas grand prix

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ynbeckham @/maxverstappen1 i’m so proud of you. love you so much ❤️

♡ by maxverstappen1

user3 MAXYN IS REAL

user7 i just dropped my phone

user10 i fell to the ground

user4 this is what we’ve been waiting for

user7 congratulations max 🫶

ynbeckham DU DU DU DU MAX VERSTAPPEN

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✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

max’s insta story

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francisca.cgomes you two are so cute together 🥹

user1 stop it they’re so adorable

user2 david is being awfully calm right now lol

alexandrasaintmleux we should double date

ynbeckham we’re so there!

ynbeckham love you so much

maxverstappen1 i love you more

liked by bellahadid, haileybieber, victoriabecham, and 2,953,290 more

voguemagazine yn beckham to be on the cover of british vogue

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bellahadid congrats on your first cover i’m so proud 🥹

ynbeckham thank you bella 🫶

user1 she is SO beautiful

rhode come model for us 😍

ynbeckham just say when

user2 your favorite nepo baby’s favorite nepo baby

maxverstappen1 buying every printed issue right now ❤️

ynbeckham stop im blushing 🤭

[nyatbinary-81]

YIPPEE!!!! IM GLAD YOU LIKE THEM!!!!!!!!

@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.

[sdv-confessions]

there are people keep saying sebastian is a loser while alex is some popular kid just because they look like the stereotypes of nerdy emo kid and a jock. saying this with whole my heart as a male alex liker, but sorry, you are wrong. sebastian didnt go to college but he managed to self taught coding and getting money out of it is fucking impressive. he has his own motorbike, and he has a group of friend who love and support him. he is pretty direct with his emotions and struggles once you get to know him on a certain level. and as for alex, this boy only has one friend (two, if you count emily in if thinking about the fact that he knew her through haley). he wished there were more girls in the town, but he never directly went out to talk with them besides haley,like boy what are you doing, but i kinda understand given how george was not much of a good figure good is not nice remember folks. alex did have a job, but it's more like a side gig given how his ice cream stand only open in summer and only in a certain time. and the fact that he tried to uphold his tough persona instead of opening up to anyone except dusty and the farmer, who accidentally caught him being sad, or how only after marriage he said that he never had many friends and didnt know what to do if the farmer didnt come here. that boy is a loser more than sebastian! but i love him for that <3

they are like "well sebastian lives with his parents" as if he didnt have a plan to move out. and not just him, there are many townies who are adults still live with their family like sam, shane, penny, haley and emily live with their parents before those two went travelling, etc, even his sister maru. and not to mention in some cultures, its normal to stay with your parents until you get married, hell, some households even have 2 or more generations living together. and living alone? in this economy? no fucking way my siblings in christ, saying this as an atheist

ok i know its getting too long but i also dont like how the fandom saying that alex is only good with male farmer and dismiss his sexist views towards female farmer at the beginning by saying it was because hes gay, given how there are gay men who are very misogynistic in real life. we all saw how george was when you married alex as a guy, and if you think deep enough, homophobia and sexist usually go hand in hand. like dont you look at me and tell me that peepaw doesnt have at least a sexist thought once. its good for both of them to grow out of it with both female and male farmer, but i think its worth mentioning that in male farmers route, we get to understand why alex turned out like that, as usually you would reflect some of your parents or caretakers behaviors, whether they taught it to you or you mimic them unintentionally. so i dont like anyone who hates him making alex being sexist as an engraved trait, he changed! he apologized and grew out of it later. also people who post character hate in their tags im watching you when you sleep if anything, pierre should get a fair share of hate for being sexist towards abby and caroline too, but i dont see people talk about it enough like how he acts towards the farmer and their products and stuffs

.

[nerves-nebula]

i frequently and somewhat randomly remember mundane parts of my childhood, mostly the ones where my parents arent directly watching over me.

i built a boat of leaves mud and sticks and floated it in the water that pools at the edges of the road and the start of the sidewalk. i did play with a lot of other kids for a few years. tag and other stupid games. but i abruptly stopped at the age of eleven, i think. there were more fireflies. i used to like going outside and inspecting rocks and bugs and things, hitting things with sticks. i used to be ok with picking up worms and slugs- i love slugs so much i wanted them as pets, the slime didnt bother me back then, i really don't know what changed. i have a few ideas but none of them are solid.

there was only ever one kid who i really clicked with, who really felt like he could be my friend, but that ended quickly because apparently he had a crush on me, and his brother wouldn't stop pestering me to date him. and anyway they lived a few blocks away so we didnt see each other as much as i saw the rest of the group.

i remember arguing about how to play monopoly in my brothers friends basement for hours on end. i don't remember if we ever did actually play it.

there was only one girl who would play with me alone. but im pretty sure she didn't like me that much, i think she pitied me, and it was embarrassing for both of us but she was the only one who bothered. i used to have a bike, and i loved it, and i outgrew it. i used to like being outside.

i know i was always anxious and frequently sad or bored to tears, but something changed a while back. some time around puberty. im trying not to romanticize the past or w/e because i know it wasn't very good, but something that'd been festering in me ate me from the inside out and i dont think ive ever been happy, or rather peaceful, since then.

i dont think it was trans stuff, though that didn't help, because im transitioning now and my face is still absolutely nothing.

partially i think this was inevitable. i dont think that my anxiety was necessarily LESS when i was younger, it just hadn't fully matured. I think it was always waiting, ramping up, and i wasn't happy then, i was just excited to explore in a way that I don't think I'll ever be again.

I remember, when i still hung out with other kids, asking the others if they ever looked in the mirror and didn't think their face was their face. Like, they knew it was their face, but it wasn't right. it didn't look like them. this was when i was maybe 8-10 years old. i don't know for sure. but clearly whatever this is has been with me for a long time.

so a part of me cant help but think it was just born this way and i should just die this way as well. my parents made me with malicious intent or something, and that seedling sprouted and there was no other way it ever could have ended.

[cerealmonster15]

🧃🍦🌸🌸🌸

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

HMM. tbh i feel like i say a lot about my personal self here LOL for people that read my tag rambles what i can i say that u dont already know... i feel like the only stuff i omit is like, to keep my identity a SECRET lol ummm.

ok i literally couldnt think of anything JSDKLFJDSKLFJSDKLJ. ask me a question if u want maybe ill share LOL

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

H. HEY. HEY. i dont wanna LOL JKFLDJKFLDS truth be told i dont actually HATE hate many characters. it's usually only ones that are like. token creep characters or REALLY super nasty and i dont WANNA talk about those so im gonna CHEAT and just do what i suspect im baited into doing and talk about a character i. hmm. Used To Strongly Dislike. i was a hater but i dont know that i ever really FULLY hated him. but i def disliked him for a while at first lol

and in terms of twst there are at least four characters this could be describing but i have to do leona bc ive had the most character development with my feelings about him kljsdklfjdsklfjklsdj

he really is so smart and perceptive. it's super interesting when i go back and reread stories and how he's shown to either directly or maybe heavily implied to know/suspect something that's going on far before most of the other characters do. he doesnt always. say anything about it to people 🧍 JKFLSDJFKLDS but it IS cool how you can see he's like, paying attention. he's got experience!

it's kinda sweet when he actually does, sometimes, show his care for the younger students. like in rook's lab coat story when epel accidentally bumps into him, and the npc talking to rook is like OH GOD!!! but rooks like nono, it's okay, leona knows not to just pick a fight with a random student for no reason. <- me calling it sweet when leona doesnt bitch at someone i guess LOL but!!! jfkdsjflds it is. and then in book 6 at the start when everyones getting ROBOT KIDNAPPED, this goes hand in hand with my first point - leona recognized the charon soldiers, clocked that they were dangerous, fighting was futile and risky, and just surrendered himself and told ruggie to not start a fight and to just look after the dorm while he was gone, if he ever came back. i was sooooo grumpy at that scene for so long bc of how COOL he was and i did not like admitting leona was being cool ever LOL JFKLSJDFKLDSJLJ but he was 😔 ive come to terms with it. AND in the jpn server's halloween event playful land, [mild beginning of event spoilers to anyone reading this i guess lol] the fact that he showed up late at night to bring everyone back so they wouldnt get in themselves trouble.... like he SAID it's bc he just didnt wanna get blamed for it later, but like, iirc he aimed his lecture at the ENTIRE GROUP, not just jack who he's dorm responsible for. he showed up early morning/middle of the night to do it too, when hes the king of I Love Sleeping. he probably coulda sent ruggie to do it but it was his turn to be in the event so he came and did it himself;;; dskfjdlsjfk listen i think leona is pretty straightforward and a bitch but i do think he still has some sense of care for people even though he'd rather die than admit it KFJSDKLFJSELJ

this might be cheating but i listed like three separate examples in the prev point so whatever. he's funny when he fights with vil and malleus JKLFJDSKLFJDSLFJ and i like when characters bitch at each other for comedic purposes. that is a positive point in my book i like LAUGHING at my SCREEN

i love when im asked a simple question and use ten thousand words to answer lol

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

DOES THAT MEAN THREE IMAGES

[WAHOO!!]

[aureiki]

very nosy and curious after seeing your ask game answer on yuzuru, how did you start to like him?

// slight mentions of the good ol depression and its effects

Ok so this will be like a long explanation on how I got into Yuzuru and midoyuzu as a ship because they're connected and it's a rather funny story.. as an extra note; I've been into enstars for around 3-4 years now!

Around this year, I'd say February to early March, I was feeling VERY down in the dumps about life and stuff and depression kicked me in the ass super hard ... so naturally I went to find something to make me happy- That being enstars because I somehow found it to be a massive comfort at the time (loser-ish I know)

So at the same time i grew a massive attachment to midori! Because he was the character that kept me happy and motivated throughout that time, so I wanted to learn lots about him just out of indulgence and to make myself happier. Somehow I found myself going through ao3 because I wanted to find midori fics to read.. Now I thought itd be silly to find a midori ship to like because (for me, at least) that's how I get to know characters well by digging through their dynamics and such and interactions- Then I stumbled upon the midori/yuzuru tag.

At the time, my only thought was- "Yuzuru? Who's that again?" and i searched him up immediately (lol) but even then my thoughts then became "oh him. I dont really care about him." But their dynamic was cute and funny, I read their thing on the shipping wiki, the few fics I read were adorable, so hey, why not check out Yuzuru more?

I read a couple dialogue of him, checked out some fine story translations, and even after all that- my opinion still remained as 'oh, he's okay I guess.'

Then I guess something, clicked in me one day that really set me off in a terrible mood, got close to doing stupid things and stuff. That's probably when midoyuzu became an even bigger attachment, cuz the thought of them made me happy, and I clung onto that happiness that they gave me alone. and I just. grew to care about Yuzuru more from ot, even if it wasn't directly- he did still help me, in a way.

I do love him, a lot of things about him. I like how he's written, how he acts, his role in his unit, design, voice, many things! I was (still am) shocked he isn't as popular as I expected him to be.. maybe I just admire him in a way lol, maybe I relate to midori too much and also just someone like him in my life.

So yeah, it's crazy how just a few months back, I didnt even remember who this guy was. And now? He's a massive comfort character that I love very dearly!! I still have lots of stories of him that I've yet to read, and I know damn well that'll make me love him even more. Everytime I see content of him nowadays I find myself smiling and kicking my feet that's truly the power of being hyper fixated lads

[softness-and-shattering]

Todsys baldurs gate adventures, that are still occuring, notably, not in Baldurs Gate.

Im gonna start tagging for spoilers at this point I think. Im gonna use bg3 spoilers as my tag.

So firstly I picked up find familiar to see if a familiar could get into one of these burrow places. Not onky can they not, even the raven has to follow people-walking paths. Ok I get it cant fly across chasms because thats end-of-map territory. But it cant just go up to a higher or lower terrain, it has to find the walking path! Its ridiculous. I need to pick up misty step somehow or dimension door or perhaps teleport. That'll be relevant soon.

So I used feather fall + jump from behind the mill in the blighted village to sneak across to the very north of the goblin camp. I snuck into the temple. And then I decided nah I wanna go find Halsin properly. His quest diamond was right above thr hunter goblin who's cooking dwarf and his poem is about the sword but ok. I run into poor Volo. (I realised later oh one of the source books is volos guide. Forgot to what though. Theres a very similar character with the same name in pokemon, is it arceus, the 'historical' one? Whats up w that?)

Ok hes being held captive. A quick google tells me to advance the Halsin quest I gotta talk to some oakshield guy so I find him, he directs me to the goblin prison called the pits aaand i wasnt in the secret temple before I was in the pits but I wasnt gettinf the quest information becausr Id done it out of order!

I go in I save volo I save Halsin, I meet Minthra and grieve the decision I, an entire bisexual, must make, but Im playing some kind of chaotic good-ish so I gotta kill her. I long rest. I meet the dream guardian. As Laezel almost murders it occurs to me that sleeping in the Absolute power dungeon mightve been a bad move. Idk what exactly triggered the cutscene but Im gonna imagine it was murdering a bitch, one of the absolutes favourites, and then lying down immediately for a cozy nap.

I go into thr fight with Rakshasa Belthazar. Rak Guruk? The guy with the Illithid. And very very early someone pushes my bard into the spider pit. This is where misty step wouldve been GREAT.

Shadowheart keeps missing and the dream voice tells me to try something different. So I shoot down the brazier to make her happy but it does zero damage to anyone.

I closed the doors before going in but that didnt change refreshments I mean....reinfircements lol running in. Eventually theres one spider left and the human guy whos shooting at me from the rafters.

Then as Im prepping Astarion for the climb, this guy with his 5hp falls an entire storey and has thr goddamn audacity to not take and falling damage. So hes at the bottom of the stairs and Astarions a bit above him. I tell Astarion to run up and stab him. Astarion runs for the ladder. Confused, I stop him and direct him to attack again. He climbs partway up the ladder and then sudddnly he's on the ground and the other guy is dead. I have no idea what happened but I did get the outcome I wanted.

This leaves my bard trapped in the spider pit with one spider and waning health. Everyones on around half or less. So its bard, shadowheart, astarion and karlach.

Bard keeps missing the spider and health is critical. Im getting voice lines to make sure I know hes at deaths door.

Now, because the game isnt great at showing different vertical levels directly stacked, and the spider has jumped up some distance, I assume its on a platform where maybe I can jump my way out. So I have karlach jump down to take some hits. Either way I have to get my bard out some non-magical way so maybe everyone joins him down there and we work it out. Regardless we gotta remove the spider threat.

So karlach jumps down. I hear the dice roll sound. Like ten to fifteen enemies roll into initiative. Ive made a critical error. The spider pit is even lower than I thought.

I consider if everyone can get into the pit and far enough away quickly enough I can teleport to camp. I direct karlach to jump into the pit. I am warned this will take 30 health off of her. (Bard lost about 17 being pushed I think. What is goibg on with this layer cake hideout? Nom).

I look at the 30 fall damage. I look at my bard too far away for feather fall to work. I look at my PCs on very little health. I look at the iniative order with fifteen people in it. I consider if I get into the pit anyway, Im not gonna be able to loot anyone.

And I loaded my save. And then I drcided I was done for the day.

I also forgot to specifically prep Shadowhearts spells to discover mid-fight that I only had the melee healing spell and the non-combat one.

Ive also not really been using the poisons and coatings and explosives and such cause I havent really needed to much. And Im loathe to use perishables in a game. Surely they exist to be saved forever for the opportune moment that never comes, right? But I think when I try the fight again Ill load up. Even Mithras wasnt as difficult, theres just so many 10hp pests.

RIP Mithras. Maybe Ill play as evil next time. I just couldnt condemn the grove. The tiefling bard girl on the clifftop was the purest joy Ive felt in this game. I did hope appearing to go along with Minthara would give me oppprtunity to send her in the wrong direction but I didnt find the right dialogue option, if it exists.

I also like the little sad stories sprinkled around. The dead guy on the beach with the letter from his lover about running away to baldurs gate. The half buried elf with the embroidered heart on his shoe. Ouch. My poor heart. I wanna go find all the victims families and make them safe.

Which reminds me I should check the meat I grabbed from the warg pens. It looked like pig but I should check what it says.

Oh I find it hilarious that theres a sausage weapon. Ill end on that note I think.

[franciskirkland-deleted]

I'm a deranged mess, and I need PAWB Finland content directly into my veins… it's what he deserves, it's what his ass was built for. And ur so right about him being the most vocal sobbing mess in bed, bestie ❤️❤️❤️ Imagine him trying to fight it back out of embarrassment, not trying to wake others in the house, but GOD how can he help it when his hubby viking pressing him against the bed, rearranging his insides, and it all just feels soooooo good. He can't help but let out the cutest desperate moans, screaming whatever freaky berwald wants to hear from him. berwald just loooves having his wife under his mercy like this

hello my beloved finland's ass anon <3 sorry i didnt answer sooner i've been resignated to the italian woman's burden of making pasta for my husband. im attic wife coded. also i've been trying to get my BP/heart rate in check all fucking day to no avail so im avoiding the hellsite. anywhooo. how are u doing bestie. did u get some rest? something to eat? i hope so. ur about to outbid me for the most insane feral unhinged hetalian pls know this. (i mean this positively btw)

this will always be ur safe space for naughty housewife finland <3 ur straight up snorting that sufin cocaine... popping that pervitin, if i may. i truly believe u could survive in a ditch in the forest for a week eating pine needles and raw birds. ur operating on a different plane of existence. i hope u dont mind that i'm compiling all of ur recent asks into one post bc i don't want to spam the dashboard/tags with the illustrious machinations of your beautiful mind. but at this point i am on my knees begging you to reveal to me your true identity bc you are psychotically horny (again, affectionate) and i envy your game. are you perchance on ADHD medicine. prescribed or otherwise. its ok u can tell me. im not a cop i used to smoke [redacted]

ok. with that being said i have... several thoughts that i would attempt to organize but 1. im so unhorny rn and 2. ur level of finland bussy devotion is lowkey beyond my level of cognitive energy - though never unappreciated. as always i enthusiastically agree with and endorse the above statements. pls message me off anon to discuss <3 pls

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

ok i can now go into my initial thoughts of the ep lol!

the intro with them talking directly to the camera was a bit odd? but like i get they wanted to include it in case there was anyone new watching that didnt know the doctordonna context lol

the rest of the ep was great tho and i imagine the rest of the specials wont include that part lol!

i obv loveddd seeing donna again and as i said in my tags i LOVE rose!! i loved little things about her personality like how she immediately was just so sweet to the meep & then how she tried to run into the tardis!! i'm honestly kinda sad that it feels like we might only have her for the 3 specials instead of a whole series :( but hey i might be wrong lol!

i really liked rose's friend (i can't remember their name lol i feel like we didnt get enough info about them) and hope we see them again! alsooo the fact they mention wilf and that he's alive was just so important to me!! like ofc we the audience know that the wonderful bernard cribbins cant be in the show, but i did like that he's still in the whoniverse <3

watching the unleashed i was really happy to see the story was based on one of the dw comics so even if the story /was/ pretty simple, i just loved how WHO it felt you know??? also the meep the MEEP!!!! miriam was iconic and i loveddddd the animatronic it was just so fantastically done!

a thing i /wasn't/ as keen on was how much unit featured... like it was to be expected because russell has featured a lot of unit in the past (plus it is a v integral part of the show in general) but idk... i would rather hav had more time spent with the doctor and the nobles lol

another minor critique is as much as i loved david's performance, some of the more emotional moments fell a bit flat at times? i think maybe in part because it didnt feel super connected to how 13 was and felt a bit more how he had been at the end of 10's era... and like i totally get why they had him play it that way, but i just sorta wish we'd seen perhaps a slightly different side to him?? but idk maybe we'll get that in the next 2 eps!

another thing i LOVED though was the trans stuff lol!! like i sorta figured they'd mention rose being trans as a passing remark but not focus on it, but the fact the very first episode of this next era of doctor who EXPLICITLY presented her transness as something super important to the entire plot of the story it was just !!! so important to me! it really just feels like russell is saying 'you're transphobic and want to watch my show? fuck you' and i really respect that lol! (i can already hear people on twitter complaining about how he's made doctor who WOKE now or smth but luckily i will avoiding that shithole like the plague <3)

honestly tho i think the thing i liked the most was that it just felt like another episode of doctor who lol... like just doctor who, the 60 year old silly sci fi show about an alien in a blue box travelling around the universe!! like it's ridiculous and dumb but amazing and i love it so much lol

Here to say that episode was fab lol!!!!

[guqin-and-flute]

The Dadliest Chat (3zun Group Text)--Modern 3zun raise Jingyi AU

[Modern 3zun Tag] [Ao3 series]

[This was a lot of fun and the first thing I have written in a WHILE, so I just let myself go for it and write whatever. Therefore the vibe is a little all over the map; slice of life, fluff, lil' bit of lemon, a bit of angst and trauma work, but mostly just sort of day in the life look at 3zun's group chat as fathers! A-Fu is about 10 months old in this.

CW: dirty talk, lemon (I'm leery of tagging more cause I don't wanna get flagged because Tunglr™, but they sometimes have adult convos over text, ya know?]

SATURDAY

<10:42 AM>

Xichen: Stupid bill?

Xichen: [sent picture]

Da-ge: spam

A-Yao: 👍

Xichen: 👍👍

MONDAY

<12:12 PM>

A-Yao: People are stupid

Da-ge: yep

Xichen: !! :( Are people being difficult at work? 💙

Da-ge: are zixuns being difficult at work

A-Yao: Yes

A-Yao: Need son pics, please

Da-ge: lol to up your blood sugar

Xichen: On it! 

A-Yao: Something like that

A-Yao: ❤❤❤

Xichen: [sent picture]

Xichen: [sent picture]

Xichen: [sent picture]

Xichen: [sent video]

Xichen: [sent picture]

Da-ge: !

A-Yao: My god

A-Yao: They’re like drugs

Xichen: Better? 💙🥰

A-Yao: Better than drugs, yes

Xichen: 😂 Not what I meant but I’m glad! I have so many more.

Da-ge: who won the fight

Xichen: 😂 He’s playing DRUMS in that picture, Da-ge.

Xichen: It’s his music class.

Xichen: We Lan eschew violence.

Da-ge: yeah

Da-ge: that’s why wangji almost took a chunk out of my thigh when he was a kid

Xichen: 😬

A-Yao: Hush, I’m basking

Da-ge: lol

TUESDAY

<9:56 AM>

Lan Xichen: [sent video]

A-Yao: Why does he sound like that? Is that normal?

Da-ge: gollum

Xichen: 😂

Xichen: I was thinking more sink drain, but that too! 

A-Yao: Our son is not GOLLUM

Xichen: He’s started making that noise when he’s happy, A-Yao, it's alright! 💙 He does it especially when he looks at the tiger toy A-Yu got him. Or when he’s going to the bathroom.

Da-ge: lol

Da-ge: he has your smile

Xichen: Not sure that’s possible, Da-ge😂

A-Yao: I actually agree with Da-ge

A-Yao: I think it's the eyes

Da-ge: yeah

Xichen: Hmm, well his mother's father's father was my father's cousin, I believe. Or second cousin, I can never rightly remember. Several branches off, we'll say.

Xichen: Maybe my father was the common link.

<2:27 PM>

Xichen: [sent picture]

Xichen: I don't see it, really.

Da-ge: see what

Da-ge: whose that

Xichen: A similarity in our smiles.

A-Yao: Is that your father???

Xichen: Yes.

A-Yao: !!!!

Da-ge: i didnt know you had pictures of him

Xichen: I don't, I asked Wangji if shufu had ever shown him any. He was visiting him with Wuxian and A-Yuan today, so I suppose he found one.

A-Yao: Or Wuxian did. 

Da-ge: snoop

Xichen: Well, maybe 😋 I didn't ask.

A-Yao: Hmm

A-Yao: People don’t always use their real smile for pictures

<3:04 PM>

Da-ge: ?

Xichen: Hm? 

A-Yao: Are you okay?

Xichen: Yes? Why wouldn’t I be? 🤗

Da-ge: you went quiet

Xichen: 😉 I'm fine.

Da-ge: ??

Xichen: 😘 I'm fine.

A-Yao: Er-ge

Xichen: Truly, I'm fine! A-Fu and I are at the park.

Xichen: [sent picture]

A-Yao: 😍

Da-ge: ❤️ 

Da-ge: how did you get him to wear the sunglasses

Xichen: Patience and sweet potato puffs.

Xichen: He also threw them on the ground directly after the photo, so don’t praise me too much 😂

Da-ge: distraction

Xichen: ?

A-Yao: You’re cheating, Er-ge

Xichen: Cheating?? Cheating what?? How??

Da-ge: 🙄

Xichen: It was just odd to think I’ve never seen his real smile. I'm not even thinking about it anymore, I'm keeping A-Fu from eating sand! I can call you to prove it but really, it was just a thought. I'M FINE 💙

A-Yao: I'm bringing home eclairs from Jean’s

Xichen: 🤩🥰 A-Fu is EXCITED!

Xichen: [sent picture]

A-Yao: 😭😭

Da-ge: so fuckin cute

Da-ge: how are his cheeks so big

Da-ge: chipmunk cheeks

A-Yao: This one is going in the next batch I’m printing

Xichen: 🥰

Da-ge: we’re gonna run out of wall space by the time hes 1

WEDNESDAY

<5:17 PM>

A-Yao: Eggs

Rice

Okra

Coffee

Da-ge: ok ty

THURSDAY

<12:47 PM>

Xichen: [sent picture]

A-Yao: ❤

Da-ge: daww

FRIDAY

<8:24 AM>

Xichen: [sent picture]

Xichen: [sent picture]

Xichen: I do not enjoy stepping on Cheerios, I’ve found. Whether wet or dry.

Da-ge: lol good luck

<9:17 AM>

Xichen: [sent picture]

Xichen: Oops 😬

Da-ge: well we were gonna give him a bath tonite anyway

A-Yao: How???????

A-Yao: It was on the counter!

Xichen: I was vacuuming after the Breakfast Cheerio Disaster and then I turn around and, well, plant down.

A-Yao: Did it fall on him??

Xichen: Nope! He just dug around in the dirt and remnants after he managed to pull it down.

Da-ge: kids are sturdy 

Xichen: I don't understand how he can climb but can't walk yet???

Da-ge: monkey genes

A-Yao: Technically ape

Da-ge: 🙄

Xichen: 🙈

A-Yao: Where was that from again? That garden store downtown? I can pick up a new one omw home

Xichen: We might be able to repot it, they seem pretty sturdy. Maybe go pick up a hanging one this time, though?

Xichen: I'm just glad we made sure all the plants werj;/ abb noewlp

Xichen: Sorry, he slapped the phone out of my hand and it sent. We made sure all the plants were non-toxic if eaten or I'd be having a heart attack right now 😱

A-Yao: HE AUE IT?? ?

Da-ge: you didnt see the dirt in his mouth? kids put shit directly in there as default there’s no stopping it

A-Yao: IS HE OKAY???

Xichen: I called poison control even after looking it up online. Totally fine! There was only a little bit gone, after all.

Xichen: [sent picture]

Xichen: See?

Da-ge: lol i was imagining cartoon bite marka but that makes more sense

Xichen: 😂 He doesn't even have teeth yet!

A-Yao: Is his tummy upset??? 

A-Yao: has he poop ed?? 

A-Yao: did they say we should feed him something or make him dirnk water or ???

Xichen: My love, he's COMPLETELY fine, I promise. 

Xichen: Look!

Xichen: [sent picture]

Da-ge: tiny feet ❤️

Da-ge: cant stand that show tho

Xichen: Actually, I find it oddly soothing.

Da-ge: you had no tv growing up. huaisanf was addicted to fuckin telletubbies for AGES

Da-ge: gets old really fast

Da-ge: hate how they talk

Da-ge: youre still panicking aren't you ayao

A-Yao: No

Xichen: And what does WebMD have to say? 😂

A-Yao: …

A-Yao: That it’s nontoxic to humans and pets.

Da-ge: lol

Da-ge: like he said

Xichen: 😂

A-Yao: I apologize for overreacting. 

A-Yao: I wasn’t trying to question your competence.

Xichen: A-Yao, no! I didn’t take it that way! 

A-Yao: It’s fine!

Xichen: I’m sorry, A-Yao, we shouldn’t have teased you when you were worried about A-Fu :(

A-Yao: It’s fine!

Xichen: Love, please pick up.

Xichen: A-Yao, please call me.

A-Yao: I'm fine! :)

Da-ge: bullshit 

Da-ge: answer him or me you choose

A-Yao: I'm in a meeting.

Da-ge: i doubt that

Xichen: Please call me when you're out?

A-Yao: Maybe! My schedule is very full today. I'll try to remember.

Da-ge: don't fucking start that just call him

A-Yao: I'm in a meeting.

Da-ge: then promise to answer after

A-Yao: I’ll try to remember.

Da-ge: you don’t forget shit set an alarm to remember then instead of being a child

Xichen: Da-ge please that’s not going to help

Da-ge: its stupid if he’s going to have a problem with something we said and not fix it

Da-ge: just fucking tell us instead of the pasive aggressive shit

Da-ge: he knows that

Xichen: You know that’s not how it works. Please don’t do this here, just text me privately. A-Yao, we’re not talking about you behind your back

Da-ge: thers no other way TO talk to him when he does this

Da-ge: this can literally be over right now if he just answered his stupid phone 

Xichen: Please stop. Call me.

<10:01 AM>

Xichen: No one’s angry with you, A-Yao 💙 You can call in your own time!!

<1:45 PM>

Xichen: I’m going to make some stir fry for tonight! 2 batches, one with meat and one without! Extra bamboo shoots! 😊😊😎 Any requests?

<3:32 PM>

Xichen: [sent picture]

Xichen: A-Fu Baxia cuddle puddle 😴🐱👶🥰

<5:07 PM>

A-Yao: Im sorry

A-Yao: I was being stupid

A-Yao: I’m sorry

A-Yao: I wont do it again

Xichen: Shhh, call me, Da-ge came home early, we can all talk 💙💙💙💙

SUNDAY

<11:05 AM>

A-Yao: Why do stores rearrange everything so often??

A-Yao: Is this the right brand??

A-Yao: [sent picture]

Xichen: I think? Show me the back?

A-Yao: [sent picture]

Xichen: I think they just changed the packaging, it should still be the right one! 

A-Yao: 👍

<2:43 PM>

Xichen: Can Huaisang still babysit tonight after A-Fu goes down?

Da-ge: he says yes

Xichen: Perfect! 

<4:33 PM>

Da-ge: thought you two were going out for dinner? isnt that why you needed asang?

Xichen: Something happened with a last minute change to a contract and he has to go in to oversee changes, but I need to run some errands anyway, so I’ll take advantage of the expanded mobility 😂

Xichen: It’s surprisingly difficult to shop for baby clothes with a baby in tow.

Da-ge: sucks

Xichen: Yes, but there’s always next time!

MONDAY

<8:07 AM>

Xichen: [sent picture]

Xichen: We love Papa’s breakfast!

Da-ge: ❤

TUESDAY

<12:18 PM>

Xichen: Da-ge, A-Yao came home with one of his headaches--I'm going to take A-Fu out so he can sleep and I'm putting his phone downstairs so he isn't tempted to use it. Can you check on him when you get home? 💙

Da-ge: I will

Da-ge: poor ayao ❤

Xichen: I know 😢 Love you!

Da-ge: love you both

Da-ge: let me know if i should bring something home

Xichen: Right now, I think he just needs some sleep for now, he caught it early instead of pushing through (for once)!

Xichen: Proud of you, A-Yao!

<8:57 PM>

A-Yao: ❤

WEDNESDAY

<11:34 AM>

Da-ge: [sent picture]

Da-ge: what is this shit

A-Yao: Ugh

Xichen: Sigh.

<2:04 PM>

Xichen: Look what just came on my photo roll!💙

Xichen: [sent picture]

A-Yao: Ahh, Da-ge in an apron, my favorite

Da-ge: lol

Da-ge: i remember that day

THURSDAY

<6:41 AM>

A-Yao: [sent picture]

<7:25 AM>

Xichen: !!!!!!!!!!!

Xichen: A-Yao is so handsome 👀💙

Da-ge: love when you wear that one

Da-ge: it’s sexy

A-Yao: 😌

<7:40 AM>

A-Yao: Not overtly, right?

A-Yao: Not somehow inappropriate?

Da-ge: fuck no you just look good in a suit

<10:13 AM>

Xichen: [sent picture]

Xichen: Cousins at the library!

A-Yao: Ahh, A-Ling!!!

A-Yao: 😍😍

Xichen: A-Fu’s being very gentle!

Da-ge: good!

Xichen: I saw Mary there!

Da-ge: basoonist?

A-Yao: No, that’s Mari. Mary is the percussionist, curly hair, glasses, nose ring 

Xichen: She says they miss me, which was very sweet.

Da-ge: still trying to get you back?

Xichen: I said I didn’t know when I’d be back as director, which is the truth!

Da-ge: you don’t have to apologize for anything

Xichen: I know 😊

Da-ge: mmm

SATURDAY

<4:55 PM>

Xichen: Will you be home for dinner, Da-ge?

Da-ge: no they moved my flight up

Xichen: We’ll miss you!! 😙

A-Yao: Fly safe! Do you have all your IDs and chargers? Do you have your meds? Did you get your motorcycle in for the scrape?

Da-ge: yea yea yea no

A-Yao: Should I have A-Su drive it in? She’s very responsible

Xichen: I didn’t know she rides motorcycles!

A-Yao: She got her license but doesn’t have a bike yet

Da-ge: nah it’s fine i’ll get to it when i’m back

Da-ge: leaving earlier means im only out for 4 days instead of 7

Da-ge: more meetings but

Xichen: Make sure to get lots of rest! Don’t burn yourself out.

A-Yao: Good!

A-Yao: [sent picture]

A-Yao: FuFu says “love you, Papa”

Da-ge: ❤

Da-ge: my boys

SUNDAY

<8:45 AM>

Xichen: [sent picture]

Xichen: Morning!

Da-ge: ❤

A-Yao: 😍 

A-Yao: So cute

A-Yao: Also I love that braid, Er-ge

Da-ge: everything ok there?

Xichen: Going swimming-ly! 😉🏊‍♂️

Da-ge: lol

<7:02 PM>

Da-ge: how was the dinner with the all the jins

Xichen: Loud but good fun! A-Fu loved it.

Xichen: [sent picture]

A-Yao: I want to schedule them more regularly

<8:22 PM>

Da-ge: night

Da-ge: lov you

A-Yao: Poor sleepy Da-ge. Love you

Xichen: We love you!

MONDAY

<7:00 AM>

Xichen: ☕

Da-ge: [sent picture]

Da-ge: how did you know

Xichen: 😁 We are creatures of habit.

<6:11 PM>

A-Yao: Toilet’s doing that thing again

Da-ge: fuck

Da-ge: upstairs one?

A-Yao: Yep

Xichen: I’ll call the plumber but it’s late and short notice so 😬 We'll see!

<6:32 PM>

A-Yao: [sent picture]

Xichen: Little gremlin 🥰

Da-ge: adorable

<8:20 PM>

Da-ge: goodnight love you all

Xichen: Love you! Baxia misses her Papa and so does A-Fu! 💙 A-Yao’s making popcorn, he says ‘We love you, dream of us’ from the kitchen! 

Da-ge: lol will do

Da-ge: hows the toilet

Xichen: We are taking care of it, focus on work! 💙

TUESDAY

<9:03 AM>

A-Yao: Can someone call

Xichen: You okay??

Da-ge: eating lunch whats up

A-Yao: Murder

Xichen: Ahhh 💙

Da-ge: are we coming up with scenarios or ar you

<12:24 PM>

Xichen: Honestly, why don't we bake bread more? The house smells SO good. 

Xichen: 🍞

Xichen: I'm making honey butter! 🐝

Xichen: [sent picture]

Xichen: A-Fu approved! 👍

Da-ge: ❤️

A-Yao: Hell day. Want fresh bread

A-Yao: Look at him

A-Yao: So cute

Xichen: I’ll have plenty for when you come home, love! 💙💙💙 I can always make more!

Xichen: I’ll make it again fresh when you get home, Da-ge!

Da-ge: yum 

<9:18 PM>

A-Yao: ❤ Sleepy?

Da-ge: eh

Da-ge: a bit

Da-ge: why

A-Yao: Want to video call? 

Da-ge: oh? wheres xichen?

A-Yao: [sent picture]

WEDNESDAY

<7:01 AM>

Xichen: Good morning! ☀☕

Da-ge: lol

Da-ge: bet you slept good

A-Yao: Oh, he’s very pleased with himself. It was all his idea, actually

Da-ge: is he blushing

A-Yao: Yes, it’s very cute

Da-ge: lol ❤

<9:39 AM>

A-Yao: [sent picture]

A-Yao: ???

Xichen: 😂

Da-ge: wtf

<6:27 PM>

Da-ge: timezones suck

Da-ge: work trips suck

Xichen: 😟💙

Xichen: Need to talk?

Da-ge: just complaining

Da-ge: wanna go home

A-Yao: We all want you here

<8:00 PM>

Xichen: Goodnight, Da-ge. We love you and can’t wait to pick you up on Friday!

THURSDAY

<8:05 AM>

Xichen: Last day apart! Good morning! 🌈

Da-ge: thank fuck

A-Yao: I do not say this lightly, but I’m ready for the weekend

A-Yao: Can we go out to dinner somewhere when he gets back? That bistro place?

Xichen: 🤩 A wonderful idea.

<11:26 PM>

Da-ge: so fuckin horny

A-Yao: Oh?

A-Yao: Lonely, Da-ge?

A-Yao: Xichen fell asleep on the couch, here. I’m all alone in our bed

A-Yao: I can just imagine you there, in the dark, touching yourself

A-Yao: Did you hold back until you ached? Probably not, hm? You can be so impatient sometimes

A-Yao: Did you even get your pants off? 

A-Yao: What were you thinking of? Or who? 

A-Yao: Are you remembering our call together?

A-Yao: Xichen was magnificent, wasn’t he? 

A-Yao: So were you

Da-ge: fjck

A-Yao: You know what? I’m going to call. I want to hear you

FRIDAY

<7:14 AM>

Xichen: Oh my 😏

Xichen: Good morning! ☀ Seems like you had fun last night! 

A-Yao: Sometimes you miss out when you go to sleep at grandpa hour 🤷‍♂️😉

Da-ge: the mouth on you

A-Yao: You came so hard, too 

Xichen: PLEASE no dirty talk when I have no recourse, the Backyardigans are not the right backdrop for this convo 😩

Da-ge: lol

Da-ge: you just wait for tonight

Xichen: 😳

<12:13 PM>

Xichen: You emailed me the new gate information, yes?

Da-ge: ya

Da-ge: see you tonight ❤

<5:35 PM>

A-Yao: Here!

Da-ge: 15 minutes out

Da-ge: just landed

A-Yao: We’re by the vending machine

<6:44 PM>

Da-ge: diaper bag out of wipes

A-Yao: On it, there’s emergencies in the car

MONDAY

<6:16 AM>

Da-ge: i just saw the morherfucker scratched the door getting it in

Da-ge: couldn’t see it in the dark

<7:30 AM>

Xichen: ? Who? It?

Da-ge: plumber

Da-ge: toilet

Da-ge: [sent picture]

Xichen: Yikes, I must have missed that, I’ve been coming in the back.

Xichen: The plumbing company should cover it, right?

A-Yao: If you make it their problem enough, I’m sure they will. This is the right one, yes?

A-Yao: [sent picture]

Da-ge: yes

Xichen: Yes.

A-Yao: On it 

<7:56 AM>

A-Yao: Idiots

Xichen: It’s not too terrible, it won’t be a problem. It’s not like we don’t have money!

A-Yao: No.

Da-ge: there he goes

A-Yao: It’s the principle of the thing, now

Da-ge: honestly agree

<8:11 AM>

A-Yao: Done. They’ll pay for whatever replacement or repair

Xichen: Ahh, persistent A-Yao saves the day! 🥳

<10:28 AM>

A-Yao: Omg call me when you're done with your appt, gege

A-Yao: I have stories about the assholes from music class

Xichen: A-Yao, they're BABIES 😆

Xichen: Was it A-Chi? They have a bit of a rivalry.

A-Yao: LANDON

Xichen: Ohh nooo! 😱 One second, I'm paying.

Da-ge: i've got 10 min before my meeting with the contractor

A-Yao: EVEN BETTER

Xichen: 👶🍵

Da-ge: wtf is that

Xichen: Baby tea!

A-Yao: I love you so much ❤

Da-ge: ???

Xichen: Ask Huaisang about it later! 😃 He will probably groan because I'm old and using slang 👴

Xichen: Calling now!

TUESDAY

<2:27 PM>

A-Yao: Do we have chicken at home?

Xichen: Nuggets but no breasts.

Da-ge: lol

A-Yao: I'm not going to grace that with a response. Chicken Parm for dinner?

Xichen: Yum!

Da-ge: works for me

A-Yao: A-Yu’s coming tonight with A-Yuan, remember

Xichen: Yes!

Da-ge: yep

WEDNESDAY

<1:02 PM>

Xichen: I feel terrible. I didn’t reapply the sunscreen on his neck well enough.

Xichen: Look.

Xichen: [sent picture]

Xichen: I’m sorry. I’m going to run him an oatmeal bath and get aloe. I’m going to order him a sunhat right now. I won’t let it happen again.

A-Yao: Oh Er-ge, it happens, don’t feel bad

A-Yao: It’s not so bad, just a little pink!

Xichen: It will get darker. They always do.

Xichen: I was just reading about UVB and how our ozone is getting thinner and the rising rates. I should have been more diligent.

Da-ge: a little sunburn isn’t the end of the world xichen

Da-ge: hes gonna be fine

Xichen: It can give you melanoma.

Da-ge: hes literally 10 mo he’s not gonna get melanoma from 1 sunburn

Da-ge: asang once turned bright red like a lobster and he’s fine

A-Yao: Provisionally 😁

Xichen: [sent picture]

Xichen: Is that enough oatmeal, do you think? I added some honey as well, they say that it would help.

Da-ge: youre going to kill our pipes

A-Yao: ER-GE YOU’RE GOING TO STRAIN THAT BEFORE YOU DRAIN IT, YES??

Da-ge: ^

Xichen: I know.

A-Yao: Please don’t beat yourself up, it happens

A-Yao: We’ll all be careful and we’ll put aloe on him

A-Yao: Is he in pain?

Xichen: I don’t know. He seems alright. A little more cranky. He fell asleep on the way home from the splash pad.

Da-ge: sunburn can do that

Da-ge: you didn’t do anything wrong

Da-ge: its a fact of life and all kids will get sunburn

A-Yao: It’s his first one, it’s not going to hurt him

Xichen: We’ll go to the library and children’s museums this week instead to let it fully heal.

A-Yao: Alright, sweetheart, that sounds like a good plan ❤

<6:08 PM>

Da-ge: they said they dont carry those tongs anymore

Xichen: Drat.

THURSDAY

<10:02 AM>

Da-ge: why the fuck is this class called mommy and me

Da-ge: its weird

Xichen: 😂

Xichen: How heteronormative of them!

Da-ge: plus the kid isn't the one paying or driving

A-Yao: Marketing, probably, but I agree

Da-ge: lady is looking at me all confused

Da-ge: think she's trying to place me

Xichen: Mm, a bit old for a nanny? 😁

A-Yao: She's like 'there's GOT to be a mommy here somewhere…' 

Da-ge: lol 

Da-ge: [sent picture]

A-Yao: 😍😍😍 His little butt!

Da-ge: he's so weird

A-Yao: He is not! He's perfect!

Xichen: All children are weird, A-Yao, it's alright 💙 Why is he upside down?

Da-ge: who knows

Da-ge: at the sand table now

Xichen: 😬

Da-ge: i’ll take the car to be vacuumed after

Xichen: 💙 Thank you!

A-Yao: FuFu likes the carwash with all the lights!

Da-ge: ok

FRIDAY

<5:43 PM>

A-Yao: Are we alright on fruit?

Xichen: Apples would be good!

<8:21 PM>

A-Yao: I’m going to be later than I thought, don’t wait up

Xichen: Drive safe! 

SATURDAY

<10:39 AM>

Da-ge: [sent picture]

Da-ge: 👍👎?

Xichen: 👍👍👍👍👍👀

A-Yao: Holy shit

A-Yao: Buy that shirt right now

Xichen: Yes PLEASE, Da-ge! 🙏

Da-ge: lol

Da-ge: well alright then

Da-ge: 😏

Xichen: I’m legitimately flustered right now, I can’t focus 😵

Xichen: I keep looking at this picture,

A-Yao: When are you coming home???

Da-ge: lol

SUNDAY

<9:37 AM>

Xichen: [sent picture]

Xichen: Coolest kid in the grocery store 😎

A-Yao: 😍

A-Yao: This grout is fucking horrible

A-Yao: [sent picture]

Xichen: I’ll grab more of the heavy duty stuff, then.

Da-ge: youre both insane

Da-ge: lan qiren is not going to look at the grout

Da-ge: and the dinners not til wed

Xichen: To be fair to us, he very much will look at the grout.

MONDAY

<8:53 AM>

A-Yao: more watr pls

Xichen: 👍💙

<10:21 AM>

A-Yao: watrre pls

Xichen: 💙💙

<1:13 PM>

A-Yao: help

Da-ge: ??? ayao?

Xichen: All is well! Help getting up is what he meant 💙

Da-ge: hows he doing

Xichen: Not much better than how you left him, I’m afraid ☹

Xichen: He won’t let me cancel the dinner.

A-Yao: will be fin 

Da-ge: get off the phone 

Da-ge: and sleep

Da-ge: xichen you should confiscate his phone

A-Yao: using it 4 help

Da-ge: SLEEP

A-Yao: then stop txtin

Xichen: I scolded him very gently, but we should all let him get some rest 💙

<4:11 PM>

Xichen: Pedialyte and more painkillers and crackers, please!

Xichen: Oh, and maybe ginger ale?

Da-ge: ok ty

WEDNESDAY

<8:02 AM>

Xichen: I’m sorry I’m so behind on laundry, everyone.

Xichen: I should have been more on top of it.

Da-ge: its FINE

Da-ge: i still have like a weeks worth of boxers

Da-ge: youve been taking care of ayao and afu

Xichen: I kept meaning to get to it.

Da-ge: srsly

Da-ge: your shufu isnt going to even be in our room he’s not gonna know about what laundry you did or did’t do

Xichen: It’s not about that.

Da-ge: it is tho

Da-ge: xichen

Da-ge: what are you doing

Xichen: Cleaning the kitchen, why?

Da-ge: you already did that

Da-ge: can you just chill out for a bit?

Da-ge: call over asang or asu or yanli and go out for a bit on your own

Xichen: I don’t want them to get sick.

Da-ge: ayao overworked himself 

Da-ge: you know his immune thing

Xichen: I’m fine, I don’t need them to come over! 😊

Da-ge: im rolling my eyes so hard at you rght now

Da-ge: did you eat?

<9:27 AM>

Da-ge: xichen did you eat

<10:11 AM>

Da-ge: answer your phone

Xichen: Sorry! I left it in the family room while I washed windows! Calling now!

THURSDAY

<9:43 AM>

Da-ge: i’m glad we’re all sane again

A-Yao: 🙄

Xichen: Don’t pick fights, you two 😂

Da-ge: mm

<12:20 PM>

Xichen: [sent picture]

Xichen: So sleepy 💙

A-Yao: He’s SO cute

A-Yao: Is he going to think we’re creepy when he’s older?

Da-ge: ???

A-Yao: We have so many pictures of him sleeping…

Xichen: 😂

<5:04 PM>

A-Yao: I have to work late, rain check on the soup?

Xichen: Oh. 

Xichen: Of course! See you when you get home 💙

A-Yao: I’m sorry ☹

Xichen: It’s alright! It happens.

Xichen: Love you.

A-Yao: Love you, too 💙

Da-ge: again??

SATURDAY

<11:31 AM>

Xichen: Oh, turns out we don’t have Draino! We need some, please.

A-Yao: 👍

SUNDAY

<4:19 PM>

Xichen: Poor Da-ge is crying at The Fox and the Hound 💙😭

A-Yao: Oh, that one is BRUTAL

Xichen: Lilo and Stitch levels of crying.

A-Yao: Hug him for me ❤️

MONDAY

<10:29 AM>

Xichen: A message from your son!

Xichen: irriOydristI

Xichen: Rogzkgz,lgsoycllydglci k🙁🤐s

Xichen: s😖d😒d🛌xx🦋🐙s🎳🕐📥aa

Xichen: ➿Dd

A-Yao: He opened the emojis!

A-Yao: He’s so smart!

Da-ge: i hope youre joking but know youre not

Xichen: A-Fu says ‘Baba and Papa should stop arguing’! 👶

Da-ge: lol

WEDNESDAY 

<12:15 PM>

Xichen: [sent picture]

A-Yao: Holyshit

A-Yao: Holyshitholyshit

Xichen: Really? I thought it was amusing…😅

Da-ge: fuck thats so hot

Da-ge: why is that so hot

Xichen: 😳😳

A-Yao: Remind me to thank Huaisang for his gag gift

A-Yao: Cryptically, of course

Da-ge: where did you find that even?

Xichen: Back of the closet! You’ve never worn it, right?

Da-ge: i mean its a crop top

Da-ge: not really my style

A-Yao: Maybe it should be….

Da-ge: hmmmm

Xichen: 👀 I require…proof.

Da-ge: i need you to wear that while i fuck you

Xichen: 😳😳😳

A-Yao: Oh my god

A-Yao: Who?

Da-ge: yes

A-Yao: What’s that meme? ‘I will not spend the rest of the evening consumed with lust’?

Xichen: Well…decluttering surely has its advantages. 

Xichen: I’m going to…take a break for a while.

A-Yao: 😏

A-Yao: Well, there’s Da-ge gone

A-Yao: Ah, Er-ge as well, it seems

A-Yao: Well, SOMEONE has to work to pay the bills around here :P

<12:50 PM>

Xichen: 🙁

A-Yao: No no

A-Yao: Sweetheart, I was joking, you know I would NEVER mean it in that way

Xichen: I know 💙 

A-Yao: I know you worry about your choice to stay home 

A-Yao: And like we’ve told you every time you mention it, we both fully support you doing so ❤❤❤❤

Da-ge: yes

A-Yao: I shouldn’t have said it that way. It was careless. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. 

Xichen: You didn’t.

Da-ge: bs

Xichen: :P

A-Yao: Can I call?

Xichen: Of course 🥰

<2:04 PM>

Xichen: Sorry for being a boner killer, before 😂

Da-ge: lol

Da-ge: i think all the boners had been taken care of byu that point

Da-ge: youre fine ❤

Da-ge: im just glad you said something at all

Da-ge: usually you don’t

Xichen: I’m…trying. To be better about it.

A-Yao: ❤❤❤❤❤❤

TUESDAY

<10:19 AM>

Da-ge: you bite so hard 

Da-ge: my nipple is still sore

A-Yao: Awww 🥺 Lemme see

Da-ge: im not sending shirtless pics at work

A-Yao: Mm, should have kept wearing the crop top, obviously

Xichen: 😂 Easier access?

A-Yao: Exactly

A-Yao: Come home and let me kiss it better 😘

Da-ge: 🙄

Xichen: This is all very distracting when you're in the dairy aisle, you know 😂

A-Yao: Then get out of the dairy aisle and come home ❤️

A-Yao: FuFu 's asleep

A-Yao: Just went down, we swam all morning so he'll be asleep a long time

Xichen: Paying

A-Yao: [sent a picture]

Da-ge: fuck

Xichen: O mw 

A-Yao: Seems we have a winning outfit on our hands!

Da-ge: smug gremlin

A-Yao: 😊

[natashas-girl]

If you’re happy part 3

A/n: sorry it took so long 😅

Summary: yelena realizes that y/n is not ok

You knew that when yelena came, you wouldn't be able to fake it anymore. You would either end up hurting someone or breaking. You just needed to forget. But. . . That wasn't possible and you knew it. You had tried forgetting, you had tried ignoring. . .none of it ever worked.

Knock-knock knock

Shit. That was yelena. You should probably get out there before she kicks the door down. 

"Yelena?" You asked with a fake grin on your face, "i haven't seen you in forever, come in!"

Yelena's frown remained unmoving as she walked in, letting the door slam shut. 

"So, do you want anything?" You asked, your voice claiming higher with each word,  "I have water, coffee-"

"Y/n, cut the bullshit we both know why I'm here." Yelena interrupted. 

"I- what do you mean?" You asked, your voice going off the charts. 

Yelena glared at you. 

Maybe Natasha wasn't the world's scariest assassin. 

Natasha. . .

"I got the call from the hospital, y/n." She continued, concern starting to play on her face. "At least talk to me." 

Your smile fell and you sighed. "What is there to tell? I'm sure you already know."

Her gaze narrowed, "yes, i have talked to Natasha. . . But i want to hear it from you."

"Are you sure you don't want some coffee?" You asked, avoiding her.  

"Y/n, please." She stared directly into your eyes. 

"I have Doritos, too," you offered. 

"Y/N!" Yelena yelled, making you jump, "please. . . I'm trying to help you." 

"I'm fine," you insisted, "now I'm gonna get some Doritos, whether you want them or not." 

-time skip-

You and Yelena were sitting at the kitchen counter, which yelena had decidedly dragged the couch to and was (even though she refused them) munching on Doritos.

Honestly, it kinda wasn't fair that all these people were coming over to your house, making themselves at home, and making you talk to them. 

"You gonna talk now?" Yelena asked, turning to face you. There was dorito dust on her fingers and chin. 

"Yes. So there's this article about youtube being a scam, and-"

Yelena cut you off with a glare

"Fine. Natasha and i were dating, it didnt work out, the end." You said stubbornly. 

"Y/n, you are not going to be happy if you avoid my questions again," she maintained unblinking eye contact, "so I'm going to be a bit more specific."

"Is this an interrogation?" You asked, laughing nervously. 

Yelena shrugged, breaking eye contact, "it can be." She glared at you again, "Just answer these three questions and I'll leave. Who dumped who, did it have to do with Maria, and," she paused, "Why did you leave." 

Better just to give up on this one, "i dumped Natasha-" yelena looked at you in surprise "-because i knew that she and Maria had that chemistry, and. . . They just needed that push. Besides, it was better that i get hurt than natasha have to hide her feelings for the girl she loves just so she doesn't squash my heart. I left because i couldn't stay." 

Yelena nodded sadly, "So you won't come back?"

You felt tears come to your eyes, "Never."

-time skip-

Yelena was gone. She had left hours ago. They all came to help, and they all made it worse. Every time. 

You had to go. You left your phone and checked your car to make sure that you had enough gas. You did. 

Driving away from the home that was never really a home, you knew that they would never find you again. 

Not if you had anything to say about it, at least. 

Im going to tag everyone who wanted a part 3:

@tashakink @maxxione @liladoesfanfics @reginassweetheart @lucyromanoffpovs @natashaxwife @xscarlettxbelovax

[demadogs]

There’s this one blog on here that kinda weirds me out because they are so hyper deadest on shipping Foah together. Like whenever they write normal Byler posts, it’s so beautiful! But then, everything else idk. And I know a lot of us joke about Noah wanting to kiss Finn or vice versa but this blog gives off weird vibes because they seem to genuinely want Finn and Noah to date in real life. They also seem to make a lot of assumptions about their feelings for each other just because of their chemistry. And I don’t know how serious this blog is about it but it gives me Larry shipper vibes. Or like the Fack conspiracy all over again, which hurt Finn and Jack’s friendship at the time

oh my god im glad you brought this up i know exactly who youre talking about. every time i make a post telling people not to ship real people it was bc of that blog in particular. i have them blocked so im not afraid to talk about them. we’ve made jokes and memes about noah being the biggest byler shipper and wanting to kiss finn for byler and theyre mostly pretty harmless but this blog is just something else.

youre right, they make so many assumptions. it pisses me off and it does completely give me larry vibes. they talk as if they know finn and noah personally and theyre friends with them and have seen them interact. or like theyre an out couple like natalia and charlie. they usually respond to anons who call them out on it with something like “i dont ship foah, i just observe their interactions and anyone can see that they are crushing on each other”. that bothers me so much. like observe what the 5 minute press interviews?? you dont fucking know them. save your analyses for things that have been intentionally written and mapped out for FICTIONAL media, not two kid actors just being themselves. and then they’ll try to call the anons homophobic by being like “whys it such a big deal for noah to have a little crush on him??”, still fully talking as if its public knowledge and we’re the bad guy like oh my god how are you not understanding the issue here.

ive also noticed that they ignore anybody who tells them that finn has a gf. they just wont answer the anon (i know bc i have sent one) or ignore any replies about it. they live in this weird bubble where they choose to believe these real people are dating. and like ok i cant stop you from thinking theyd be cute together, theres nothing wrong with that, what makes it problematic is trying to read into their interactions and expressions and publicly suspect their relationship and sexualities on the internet. and again, they always try to be like “theres no harm in it im not directly @ ing finn or noah” but this is the internet. anybody can screenshot anything and put it anywhere. there is always a chance that either of them could see their posts and it could be so bad if they did. i dont think theyve ever once considered what it could be like to be finn or noah and see this.

like yes, there is a chance they’d just laugh about how ridiculous it is and move on but what if one of them actually was questioning their sexuality and then they saw some random person on the internet reading into it like this??? that would be so fucking hard. jack came out as bi after people were shipping him and finn so much. i cant imagine how anxiety provoking it would be to see what people were saying about him and finn while being in the closet. it gives ME anxiety on their behalf!! i hope so bad theyre blissfully unaware of this.

one anon told them that theyre using foah as a coping mechanism after byler didnt work out how they wanted in s4 and theyre so right. before vol 2 came out i saw maybe two posts from them in the byler tag about it that kinda weirded me out but after volume two they just turned into a foah blog instead of byler. they literally had byler in their url before and then they changed it to foah for fucks sake. and they still have the nerve to claim they dont ship them and what theyre doing is completely fine and just “observation”.

also i was looking at their blog once and they mentioned that they were 31 years old…. look it is not weird to ship byler at any age. i have personally as a 22 year old been told that its weird for me to ship byler and analyze these fictional characters and i completely disagree with that. theres nothing weird about shipping characters at any age even if the characters are kids (as long as youre not nasty about it) but real people??? god i would have been SO relieved if this person was like 15. i would not have gone as hard on them as i am right now if they were a kid because i would assume they would grow and eventually realize that its weird and invasive. i mean i remember reading stupid fanfics about youtubers when i was 14 but i grew and matured and realized how insane that is and no longer had any interest in reading into real peoples love lives. but i cannot excuse any adult shipping them like this.

god this ended up being so long i just had a lot to say. moral of the story: if actors have great chemistry on screen together it just means theyre good at their job, it doesnt mean theyre dating or crushing on each other in real life.

[yyuuna]

Hi! Could I request Shinso and Todoroki with an s/o who plays with ukulele and has a great singing vioce but didn’t tell them abt it. So they like found out by walking in on them playing or smth? Thanks! Hope you have a good day/night!

mystery singer

—them finding out that u sing

includes: s. todoroki / h. shinsou

pairing: various x reader

genre: fluff

disclaimer: lowercase intended

a/n: i haven’t grasped shinsou’s personality as much as i did to other characters, but hopefully it’s not that ooc,,

—todoroki

sleep ; johnny orlando

isn’t exactly walking in and finding out, but the latter part is there

literally no one knows u sing

so when u get the chance where no one’s there (except for a sleeping shouto) u sing

both of u r in ur dorm room

he’s tired and all, his head laying on ur lap as u gently play with his hair, tracing circles from time to time

“Lights are getting low Everyone's gone But I don't wanna go Stay a little while I know it's late But all we got is time” u slowed the original song’s pace, letting the lyrics flow out of u ever so gently

u suddenly heard him mumble smth incoherently “mom?”

ur eyes immediately darted to him sleeping figure, afraid that he had caught u singing

and then it hit u

his mom probably used to sing him lullabies in his sleep, and u doing the same thing brought a painful yet soothing wave of nostalgia

u almost let a tear slip, but u continued singing for him

u started doing this whenever he falls asleep with u, for it made his slumber rather peaceful

sometimes, u accompany urself with ur ukulele when he’s not directly beside u, but still unconsciously sleeping

until one time, he laid his head on ur lap, grabbing ur hand and kissing it softly

“can u sing for me?” he asked

perhaps he found out what you’re doing, and wanted even more

“what? shou, u know i cant sing...” u chuckled lowly

“oh...then who was the one singing when im asleep?” his brows slightly furrowed in confusion

and that was irresistible

“ok im sorry. i do sing—kinda” a sheepish smile painted on ur lips

“ur voice is beautiful, [name]”

yea u kinda became his personal spotify

—shinsou

sweater weather ; the neighbourhood

ur feet were dangling on the edge of the indoor school pool. it was nighttime and the only source of light was from the blue led lights around the pool’s rim

“Oh, he knows what I think about. And what I think about. One love, two mouths. One love, one house” ur voice echoed, accompanied by a ukulele

shinsou stopped in his tracks while he listens

he was practically lured like it was some kind of siren. he didn’t know whose voice it was, but it was ethereal and silvery

shinsou silently walked into the indoor pool, only to find no one

because u jumped into the water when u heard footsteps, although u left ur ukulele on the tiles

it was muffled, but u heard the door closed so u rose from the water, inhaling the oxygen u needed

“that was close...” u placed ur arms on the edge of the pool, yet still not getting out of the water

“No shirt, no blouse Just us, you find out

Nothing that I wouldn't wanna tell you about, no 'Cause it's too cold—!” u shrieked when the ukulele started playing

u looked behind u to see shinsou continuing to play before stopping after a while

“so this was the one u were humming during class earlier...” he whispered, but the vastness of the enclosed empty room had made his words make its way clearly to u

“i didnt know u sing...ur good at it, by the way” he scratched the back of his neck, slightly looking down

u started swimming to get closer to him

“will u be singing again tomorrow night?”

he obviously likes hearing ur voice

it’s like a siren—it is certainly more brainwashing than his quirk

“of course”

tags; @mayukhii @innersooya

[itmightbeneb]

Final thoughts on the manatreed thing

so my original outraged reaction post got notes despite me originally only tagging it with trigger warnings so i wanted to make a better one. I added some tags to that buuuuut it was just an overview of my thoughts on the situation coming from anger directly after reading dreams twtlonger

OK so my actual thoughts: i point blank refuse to read ANY doxxed info, so im not gonna go through and decide whether i think mana did it, to me its pointless to discuss it either way, if im reading dreams twtlonger correctly, i think that he may have done it. But to the people who were like nah nobody would just run away after being accused of that: i probably would, and ive never even talked to a cop in any official manner in my life. I also have anxiety, and wouldnt be able to handle kf trying to doxx me. So in the end, i still dont know whether he did it, and to be honest i dont care

lets say he did though, where does that bring us? if he did, he still didnt deserve to be doxxed, he still didnt deserve to have so many people coming at him all at once, nobody deserves that. doing a bad thing to a person who has done bad things doesnt make it right

the fan reaction to dream as well was disgusting. idk why people went only after dream and not sapnap, who would have also known, i havent gotten a straight answer from anyone. he is a victim of abuse himself, this is not something new we learnt, we knew this already. yes he fucked up with his response, no shit. But if a friend of mine was getting doxxed by kf of all places, i too would be so dissapointed in my fanbase if they took it as true (especially at first before i did any digging). his reaction was bad, he didnt deserve all the hate he got, these two statements can coexist.

in the end, i hope this fandom learns to give people time before demanding explanations, especailly with all the new info that was constantly coming out, and to take care of which sources they get their info from.

whether u were stressed or apathetic doesnt matter to me, the people getting angry at others for their responses to the situation (beyond the harassment of dream and mana) are the ones who are pissing me off. the people who are like unfollow me if u liveblogged the sapnap lore stream rn >:( are pissing me off. different people react to these things in different ways, and if liveblogging the lore stream or not caring until the final statement was given helped u cope? great for u im glad you kept yourself calm. beyond harassment, any of the reactions to the situation felt natural and normal to me, sometimes people react in different ways and we need to remember this and be considerate when we tell people how we feel about any given situation. the only real unacceptable reaction to all this was the harassment

If mana did do it, i hope he takes this time where he doesnt have to worry about rent to learn and grow and do some self reflection, this can be very hard to do when youre constantly stressed about living situations and everything. i hope he learns and can take te time he needs to become a better person, and have a better life in the future. it is possible for him to become a better person.

its also important that we remember that the victim wanted none of this, she wanted to be done with everything, and we dragged her back into this while creating a massive shitstorm for two other people. in the space of a couple days, one victim of abuse was harassed (dream) and two had information leaked (dream and mana’s victim). we need to be better with how we process stuff like this, with kf constantly going after dream something like this is bound to happen again, and we have to act better next time

overall this has really made me think about who i follow, i unfollowed a lotta dtblr today, the ones getting angry at the way others reacted. if you were stressed or anything please take a bit to urself, remember you can unfollow blogs that annoy you/make you more stressed and take time to do stuff thats not mcyt related (rewatch an old show u love, vc ur friends, go on a walk, etc) if u need someone to talk to my dms are open and ill get back to you as soon as i can

sending love and peaceful vibes <3