#i didnt know how to look for movies online yet

[mourningmaybells]

Michael Corleone immediately after he kills 2 guys and has to leave the busy streets of New York for the quiet life of Sicily to escape a prison sentence

[dreamerwitches]

Scene Zero for Dummies

I'm going to be a martyr and list out all the important plot beats for scene zero so that no one else has to slog through it like me. Let's goooo

Scene 1

Mabayu loves movies, is bad at socialising and lying, is most likely autistic, very lazy and works at her aunt's - Sakie - cafe. She's a year above most of the girls at school, in Mami's year.

While watching a movie, time pauses because of Homura and Mabayu gets paused too. She can resume the paused TV when she touches it.

Time pauses at school for her and she uses this time to copy a students answers during a test.

Mabayu sees Kyubey outside but Sakie doesn't see them, thinking she saw Amy. A cat that visits outside the cafe regularly.

Mabayu has a soul gem ring but doesn't remember where she got it from. She has no idea she is currently a magical girl.

At the cafe Mabayu gets a sudden vision of Amy getting hit by a car. She goes outside and sees it happened and Madoka is crying over her. Madoka and Sakie go to the vet with Amy while Mabayu looks after the cafe.

Amy suddenly gets better at the vet with the vets declaring it a miracle. This was because Madoka made her wish to save Amy.

The school goes on an annual visit to an auto plant (what a lame school trip huh). Mabayu accidentally wanders into a witch's labyrinth but Mami pulls her out with her ribbons.

Meanwhile, parts of episode 10 are happening during this. Homura is in her second loop. Eg. tells Madoka in class she's a magical girl too. Homura actually tells Mami and Madoka about her wish and being from the future here but the two have a hard time believing it.

Homura struggles fighting witches so Mami actually gives her a book on how to make explosives (guess she didnt look it up online this time eh?)

Mabayu follows Mami after being curious of her being a magical girl (she still doesn't know about them) but Mami acts weirdly saying she'll kill her (I have no idea why this is so out of character). Mabayu runs away in fear into a Bartels barrier and it kills her and later Mami (sigh)

Episode 10 plays out where Madoka becomes Kriemhild and Homura finds out about witches

Film 2

Mabayu is surprised to wake up at the beginning of the loop and thinks everything was a dream.

Kyubey finally approaches Mabayu saying they've already made a contract with Mabayu.

The Amy incident happens just the same as last time as Mabayu forgets to interfere.

Meanwhile, Homura is unsure about sharing the truth with others.

Mabayu uses her magic at school. She can turn invisible in her magi form by bending light. Her magic can also let her hear conversations from a way away as well as basically zoom in in real life.

She spies on Madoka and Mami in Mami's apartment. Homura enters, telling them not to listen to Kyubey but doesn't elaborate as she doesn't think they're ready yet.

Mabayu wants to find Homura's address at school so she can meet her but cannot find it in the staff room.

At the auto plant visit, Madoka and Homura fight the witch with Homura finally explaining her past. (but not the truth about witches) Madoka is fine with this, trusting Homura. Homura isn't ready to tell Mami yet.

Kyubey makes contact with Sayaka but she is dissuaded from contracting by Homura.

Sayaka knows about Madoka being a magical girl and is a little jealous she's so amazing. The scene with Kyosuke plays out ala episode 4 and she is swayed to contract.

Homura encounters Elly similar to Madoka in episode 4 and Sayaka saves her.

Madoka, Sayaka and Homura find Anja and Kyoko interrupts like in episode 5. Sayaka is suspicious that Homura knows Kyoko's name but is hesitant about telling Sayaka the truth.

Ala episode 10, Homura meets with everyone to tell them the truth. She tells them about witches but Mami and Sayaka don't fully trust her.

At the hospital, Sayaka wants to visit Kyosuke but Hitomi is already there. She overhears him saying he thinks Hitomi's visits are what cured his hand and Sayaka is very upset.

Sayaka's suffering arc plays out with it ending in Mami's breakdown.

Madoka and Homura fight Walpurgis with it ending in Homura killing Madoka before she can become Kriemhild. Mabayu resets along with Homura.

Film 3

Homura becomes coolTM

Homura shoots Kyubey outside Madoka's home, believing them to be dead now.

At home, Homura realises she can't tell the truth to anyone and will kill Walpurgis on her own. Mabayu arrives in her home, telling her Kyubey isn't dead.

The girls are two late and Madoka saves Amy, becoming a magical girl.

Homura is mad at Mabayu for spying on her and Mabayu gets nervous, running away.

Madoka is fighting the Minotaur witch at the auto plant but is struggling. Mabayu tries to help, using her weapon for the first time.

Homura stops time, stepping in. Mabayu is shocked Homura was going to abandon this Madoka just because she's contracted. Homura explains she doesn't want to connect to Madoka to feel the pain all over again because she knows she'll have to reset eventually in this loop.

Mabayu has a future vision. This shows that Homura can win but Mabayu will die. Knowing this is the best outcome, she goes along with it, dying.

Mami rushes over, upset at Mabayu's death. She later dies by Charlotte despite Madoka's warning. The two fight Walpurgis but fail.

Film 4

Mabayu visits Homura and both of them remember the last loop. She is at first rude but soon thanks Mabayu for sacrificing herself for the best outcome.

The two team up with Homura killing Kyubey outside Madoka's home again.

Kyubey visits Mabayu at home but she plays dumb, pretending to not understand them. She makes up a warning that if Kyubey tries to make Madoka contract something terrible will happen.

Meanwhile, Homura deals with Mami by making a truce. She'll tell her where witches will appear with her past knowledge so that she won't make any other girls contract.

Mabayu and Homura discover that the car that hits Amy was caused by a witch so they find the cause, defeating a familiar.

At the auto plant, Mabayu manages to stop Madoka and Sayaka from falling into the witch's barrier by helping them find the exit. Mabayu and Homura successfully fell the witch.

Unfortunately, Kyubey manages to meet Madoka and Sayaka, talking to them.

Kyubey tells Mami about these new candidates but since she made a deal with Homura she refuses.

Mabayu and Homura deal with Gertrud but Sayaka is injured in the crossfire. Homura uses this to warn Madoka from contracting as its dangerous.

Madoka approaches Homura and Mabayu, asking about magical girls. She is sad about Homura fighting alone and wants to help but Homura tells her adamantly not to.

Mabayu is worried that if Homura keeps telling Madoka about the danger of being a magical girl, she'll just want to help Homura more. Mabayu suggests they emphasise the fact she will no longer be human. Homura wonders if telling her the truth will help.

Madoka gets lost in Charlotte's labyrinth at the hospital. Homura decides to tell Madoka the truth about witches. Madoka then makes a wish to save Charlotte from despair, creating a strangely coloured Nagisa.

The girls then have to look after Nagisa who acts similarly to usual but more childishly. The group think that they can deal with Nagisa by fulfilling her wish.

Nagisa has nightmares of killing Mami as Charlotte and begins to think she's not a good person. She goes on a rampage, killing witches as well as Kyoko.

This film explains Mabayu's mother's backstory. She had a future vision that was never wrong but one day saw that she was going to die of illness and it broke her. She became a different person, begging no one to approach her in hospital.

Seeing no option to save Nagisa, Mabayu uses her magic to alter her memories. She cuts it like a film, removing her memories of killing Mami and Kyoko.

Nagisa gets a cheesecake baked by Sakie.

The girls fight Walpurgis and Nagisa is finally at peace so disappears. Homura resets

Film 5

Homura states they cannot let Madoka know about witches as they'll have another mess like Nagisa to deal with.

At the auto plant, Mabayu helps out Madoka and Sayaka again. Homura freezes time and kills Kyubey so that they cannot talk to Madoka and Sayaka.

Homura has sent Mami to another city so that she's out of their hair.

Mabayu is tasked with stalling Madoka and Sayaka from running into a witch at the mall but she's nervous about talking to them. Mabayu decides to ask Sayaka if she wants to work at her aunt's cafe.

Sayaka asks Mabayu why she wanted to hire her for work. Mabayu states she knows she collects DVDs but Sayaka is suspicious of how she knows so. Mabayu tries to lie but Sayaka sees right through her.

Kyubey tries to contact Sayaka to contract but she doesn't understand what they're saying.

Homura defeats Charlotte in the hospital. Kyubey appears and Mabayu uses a borrowed gun to kill them, masking it in the public space as a fire extinguisher going off.

Mabayu discovers that Madoka and Sayaka visited the hospital to see Kyosuke. Both Mabayu and Homura were unaware of him before now.

Homura asks Mabayu to see into the future but in it Sayaka has contracted. Homura realised she overlooked Sayaka while focusing on Madoka.

Homura is mad at Sayaka so prepares to fight her however Mabayu butts in. She doesn't want Sayaka to get hurt so asks Homura to let her deal with Sayaka instead. She plans on becoming her friend so she won't turn into a witch or have a bad effect on Madoka.

Kyoko doesn't interfere with Sayaka as she doesn't visit Mitakihara in this timeline.

Mabayu continues to fail at becoming closer friends with Sayaka as she's too bad at conversations. She's also put off by the fact she thinks of herself more as a senpai (an older classmate) than a friend.

Sayaka later fights Elsa Maria with Homura aiding. She is mad at Homura and an incident makes Mabayu appear where she was previously invisible. Sayaka is mad that Mabayu was working with Homura all along. The three tussle but oh what a surprise, Madoka contracts to make Sayaka no depress any more wow

Madoka and Sayaka fight Walpurgisnacht but fail, Homura resetting time.

Film 6

Mabayu apologises for messing up but Homura is fine with it since they learnt a lot. She honestly doesn't want to kill Sayaka at the end of the day.

Mabayu hires Sayaka again but this time knows her better, pointing out her love of classical music.

Sayaka discovers Mabayu is a magical girl but the two seem on good terms about it. Mabayu explains what she can remember of her wish (as it is still unknown to her) and that it was a wish for another person.

Kyosuke's tantrum from episode 4 plays out as Mabayu watches in hiding.

Sayaka is about to make her wish but Mabayu intervenes. She tries to dissuade her but fails.

Mabayu and Sayaka go witch hunting together. Mabayu chooses a song for Sayaka to fight to which apparently improves her strength.

Mabayu spies on Hitomi and Sayaka having their conversation like in episode 7. Mabayu is unsure how to cheer Sayaka up from this.

Sayaka asks Mabayu if she can see into the future about Hitomi's confession but backpedals, losing confidence. Mabayu hopes Sayaka will confess instead.

Sayaka seemingly decides to confess but Kyubey tells her she's no longer human and loses her resolve.

Sayaka faces Elsa Maria like usual.

Sayaka skips school the next day and later is found on the Soul-gem-throwing-bridge and does the deed herself. Unfortunately, this hustle makes Madoka contract whoops (she's really an idiot in scene zero huh)

Reset time whee

Film 7

Mabayu decides against letting Sayaka contract this time.

Mabayu pretends she has fortune telling abilities, trying to dissuade Sayaka from thinking about a contract and suggests maybe raising money for surgery for him instead.

Mabayu fucks up and Sayaka contracts anyway wow

Homura realises that Sayaka absolutely can't contract because clearly she's a fucking idiot

Madoka becomes a magical girl for Sayaka NEXT

Film 8

After Sayaka has the Kyosuke incident of 2011, Mabayu decides to cut her memories of it. She reveals that the target has to be thinking of the memories in order for her to cut them (great writing there…)

Walpurgisnacht comes and Madoka contracts, becoming Kriemhild.

Film 9

Mabayu practices fighting witches alone

Wow nothing really happens in this one huh. But it seems like the loops are finally getting to Mabayu mentally

Film 10

Homura and Mabayu leave town to stock up on grief seeds but Mabayu is killed by Kyoko

Kyoko kills Mami too wow thats so out of character…

Film 11

Mabayu realises that she continues fighting because of her admiration for Homura.

Kyubey suggests Mabayu replaces Madoka as the big entropy ending power source

Film 12

Mabayu suggests they get Mami to help them but Homura is against it

Homura instead recruits Kyoko, swaying her with the promise of plenty of grief seeds

Homura and Mabayu grow a little closer with Homura allowing her to call her by her first name. This makes Mabayu upset I think because she’s worried about getting too close with Homura

Kyoko tells Mami the truth about witches. Mabayu decides to cut Mami’s memories but sees herself in them, leading toooo

Film Mami Tomoe

Wow Mami is finally important thank fucking god! This is set before everything btw

Mabayu meets Mami with Kyubey and decides on a wish quickly. To remove her mother’s future sight so she no longer knows about her predicted death.

Mami and Mabayu work together by Mabayu holding back but using her future sight and Mami fighting for her, sharing the grief seed.

After an incident with a rookie magical girl, Mabayu learns she can cut memories. The girl seems to go missing and the two are worried, Mami thinking it's her fault

This bit is weird, it seems to play out like film 1 but from Mami's point of view. Mabayu suddenly seems to not know her. (Kyubey is affected too)

Homura is coolTM so its not film 1 I guess. Homura tells Mami not to talk with Mabayu.

Mami thinks Mabayu erased her memories of their time together.

Kyoko tells Mami the truth about witches.

Mabayu meets up with Mami and sees her memories which brings her old ones back. She realises Mami is guilty about leading other girls to their deaths by making them contract. Mabayu thinks she's a coward for cutting her own memories but leaving Mami with the burden.

It is revealed Homura was trying to keep Mami and Mabayu apart so that Mabayu wouldn't regain her memories of Mami and the time they spent together. (I dont really know why...)

Mabayu uses future sight for Homura, saying they'll win and fix everything, but this is a lie. She actually saw herself becoming a witch.

As Mabayu is close to falling into despair, Madoka wishes to save her.

Then we go to film 0, I dont know why this is getting so hard to follow...

It seems like this is the first timeline, the start of episode 10.

Madoka makes a contract to save Amy.

Mabayu is friends with Mami here.

Meanwhile Mabayu meets Ultimate Madoka??? It seems she is showing Mabayu these events.

Mabayu helps Madoka with the minotaur witch.

Mabayu sees Walpurgisnacht while future-visioning for the minotaur witch and tells Mami and Madoka.

Episode 10 plays out

The girls defeat Charlotte with Mami surviving.

Walpurgisnacht comes and Mabayu uses her future vision but sees they will fail and both Mabayu and Mami will become witches.

Mabayu lies, saying they'll defeat the witch.

At Walpurgisnacht, Mabayu confesses she lied before and she suddenly sees numerous films of the anime.

Mabayu says something dumb and cuts her own memories "Her future vision shows her a film with a future in which her vision of the future is already woven in. So if she erases her memories of despair, then the future will turn into hope!" like what the fuck does that mean? But Mami knew she was lying anyway cause she's a terrible liar so Mabayu you fucking solved nothing

Mami and Mabayu both die by Walpurgisnacht and Homura contracts.

Mabayu awakes in a new timeline and goes to cut Kyubey and Mami's memories of her.

And now we're FINALLY back to the main story

Mabayu cuts the film of her fate(?) I guess making it so she forgets about witches.

Madoka, Homura, Kyoko and Mabayu go to find Mami in the school where she's laid out a trap. She wants to 'free Mabayu of Homura's brainwashing' and wants to run away with her.

Mami doesn't want her memories to be cut because she doesn't want to stop being Mabayu's friend but in the end she accepts it, Mabayu cutting her memories.

They fight Walpurgis but fail, reset!

Film 13

Mami no longer comes up to Mabayu in the morning, she no longer remembers her as a friend.

Mabayu decides to cut Homura's memories of her and then from the entire film(?) I guess from everyone else.

At the cafe, Mami visits to buy cake and gets along with Mabayu.

The anime then plays out like usual.

-

And well that's it :T what a lame ending huh. Can you tell I was super fed up at the end? But... the story is here... sorry if things don't make sense in places, they don't make sense just as much in the story...

[writersblockworks]

Shit I did/said as a kid/teen as the Valorant agents (I’ve never had a concussion or broken bones)

Hey guys its close to finals week when im writing this i have no idea when ill post it, but enjoy!!

Brimstone: Took charge of a group project but ended up doing the whole thing myself. (15)

Viper: Willingly grabbed a wild snake to show my mom when I was 3, but cried when they wanted me to hold a tarantula (3 then 6)

Omen: For some reason me and my friends use to play that we lost our memory, we really just used it as an excuse to be mean. (I was 9)

Cypher: Spent hours on an app that let me see city cameras in china or something (9 maybe? I'm not sure)

Sova: The first time i went fishing with my grandfather (RIP grandpa) I was so proud, then i dropped it on the ground and it flopped into the water. (i was 5)

Sage: My friends and i would hop the fence at our elementry school to go pick wildflowers, we had to stop because we got ticks (9 or 10)

Pheonix: My best friend at the time asked me what I would do if my future boyfriend gives me a knuckle sandwaich and I replied that I would eat it. I still would (my now boyfriend would never raise a hand against me) (i was 5)

Jett: A boy was showing off how fast he could run, so i tripped him (i was 8)

Raze: I spraypainted the sidewalk beside my house because i wanted to make art (I wanted to use the spray cans) then i got scolded. (I was 7)

Breech: I am autistic and someone said oh she cant shes autistic, so I bit them i dont know how old i was nor do i remember what they said.

Reyna: I would play the wack a mole game at the arcade so I could use the hammer to hit my best friend, she did the same to me (8?)

KillJoy: When i played Valorant for the first time my online friend made me play KJ because i was german (17)

Skye: While i was going my usual tree climbing, i saw a spider. I decided to fall to the ground, I got up just fine, then climbed a diffrent tree where i found a bee hive. (idk 11? maybe) Yoru: When I fIrst got glasses and I could actually see, I looked at my nana and asked her what happened to her face, then I threw up (I was 4)

Astra: I love the stars so much, I used to think we all became stars when we died because the movie princess and the frog, and I cried when the cathloic church said we didnt (I was 6)

KAY/O: In MMA class we had to do an excersize where the others would have to stop us from making it to the other side. Most of the kids dog piled on me, a 150 pound boy got on my back, yet I still made it across the room (idk I was 11 and weak, but for a treat after, I was strong) Chamber: My friend taught us pole dancing at recess and for some reason the teachers never stopped us. (we were in 5th grade about 10?)

Neon: I watched my younger brother slide into the Oven door. My parents for some reason put it in the living room. I tried to help him by saying it was the dog. However Our dog was living with my grandparents. (7?)

Fade: Spent a whole hour meowning at a random cat in France (I was 12, and where were my parents?) Harbor: I am a huge history nerd, I did three book reports on the titanic, Then when we had to be characters for a fake museum where we would have to preform for epople I decided to be the drunk man that survived (I was 10, why didnt a teacher tell me no?)

Gekko: I had one of the electronic Furbies, i still have that yellow shit. Me and my brother were playing with him and he turned evil and we got so scared. For a month we made our mom put him under a flowerpot with 2 bibles on top of it. (I actually dont know how old I was)

Deadlock: My grandma gave me a sewing kit for one of my birthdays so I just threw it at people (6)

Iso: Collected little rocks at recess then put them in the shoes of kids I didnt like (6)

Clove: Jumped off the top of the playground because I wanted to impress my crush, then I hit my head on the slide pole. Surprisingly I ended up being just fine.

Vyse: ummm I had a Wiggle (if anyone remembers those) and I would constantly bully it. I actualy dont know how old I was but I was a kid

Honorable mention: I farted in church when i was 4 and blamed it on Jesus and apparently you’re not supposed to do that. Also this is a rough memory and stir from the top of my head, I have childhood trauma

Anyways i finally got therapy. Byeeee working on a request rn

[missbadideas]

An angel’s grief

���

" Hey, you're fine." Their voice is as smooth and comforting as it always has been. Steady, like a rock she could lean on before picking herself back up. " Focus on your work, I know that's important to you. Just don't push yourself, and make sure you take breaks, yeah? "

Her shoulders relaxed, and a hint of a smile was on her face.

" Thank you, you take care too. Next week?"

" Next week."

And then one week passed.

One week, two days, six hours, fifty minutes.

Being away from her lover wasn't new, Maria de la Rosa was someone whose life intermingled with her job, but she tried to make up for all the time they spent apart whenever they met up. Dinner dates with just the two of them, watching movies that she would dissect while they listened and held her close. They'd talk about their writing, ask her how she's been, look at her as their muse- it was perfect, it was theirs.

It's just, they've been unreachable for the past week.

<Goreboy>

they haven't Been online Either.

She feels the urge to pick at her skin rise. Her head's aching, and she wants nothing more than to get into contact with her partner. Her partner who wasn't answering calls, wasn't responding to texts, wasn't online anywhere Ronin's checked. Was she being obsessive ? Maybe they just need their space, and she's overthinking things, but they'd usually at least leave a message, or something.

<Angelic>

i tried texting them they didnt reply

also they dindnt respond to my voice mail

this is myt fault i messed up i messed up i messed up

Her vision was blurry and she choked on a sob as she deleted the last few messages after sending them.

What if they realized how horrible she's been to them? focusing on her work, neglecting them- Did they feel neglected? did they feel as if she didn't care? She should've done better, she could've taken a break on Christmas to spend time with them or even just had longer calls to make up for when they couldn't be together.

It's her fault.

Her phone keeps ringing. She doesn't want to answer. She does anyway, after wiping her tears.

" Hey." Her voice is tired, but only has a slight waver to it. She doesn't want to show that she's been crying, but she has a feeling Ronin knows anyway.

"Can hear the self-deprecation from here, de la Rosa. " His voice had an edge to it. Ronin was tense, her mind supplied to her.

The words are caught up in her throat. " I don't know what to do, Ro." Her voice breaks when she utters his name. She had thought romance died with Ronin, but then they showed up, accepting and loving, taking her as she is.

And now, that person is out of reach.

" Stop blaming yourself, for one? Not your fuckin' fault they- " He let out a groan of frustration.

He went silent for minute. She knew it was a minute because she felt every second in it.

" Look, breathe in and let it out, okay?"

In, hold, then out.

In, hold, then out.

They stayed on the phone for the rest of the day. Angel didn't feel any calmer by the end of the call.

One week, four days, eight hours, fifty minutes.

That was how long it took for their body to be found, and for them to be declared dead. A hopeless case, some said. Angel wasn't the person who found the body, she wasn't anywhere near the crime scene. It was Ronin who sent her an article describing the scene, and then-

He told her who it was.

The group chat was silent. No one's said anything yet, out of respect for Angel or to process their own grief she doesn't know.

She put her phone down, because if she didn't then she would end up chucking it at the wall and screaming. Then, she began to check her fanmail.

There were pictures.

It was rotting, their body.

Their limbs were strung and sewn together in some grotesque piece of art. Their organs, their heart, were gone from their body. Their mouth was cut, and Angel had to wonder if that was done before or after their death.

She felt numb.

'Poor thing, but really it's their fault-' 'Oh poor Maria, did you hear what happened to her lover?' Disgusting commentary, disrespectful of them even when they died. Angel was sick and tired of hearing the same things over and over again.

It was hard to reason what was going on, she didn't understand. Why? How? Who took them from her? What bastard hurt them so much?

She doesn't know.

All she can do is stare at their body while gripping those pictures.

She wanted to burn them. She wanted to burn those pictures and any

Maria de la Rosa wasn't needed right now. She wanted to bury herself alongside her lover who was so horribly violated and brutalized, their innocence marred on the street like some sick vile piece of meat to be ogled at. She wanted to pick at her own skin until it bled and she could finally join her lover robbed of her too soon.

One week, five days, ten hours, fifty minutes.

Found you. She thought as she readied up her shotgun, aiming it to the man’s neck. She wanted this man to suffer, to die afraid and alone.

Maria Del La Rosa wasn't needed, but the heartsick angel was.

Bang

—

Lmao this was rushed as hell bc I have an exam today, but I’m not mad with how it turned out? I think I could’ve stretched it out and maybe added reactions for other KC characters, but aaaa it’s okay. This is okay for a first work in this fandom lmao. I’ll post on my ao3 account later MAYBE

[anzuhan]

You whine so fucking much about how people don't care about innovades aside from Tieria, but you yourself haven't drawn Grave, Beside, 874, 887, Leif, etc etc even once, lol.

ive not read 00F, N, I etc yet, hope that helps 😭

i did not read them because when i did look out to read them they were hard to find anywhere online (except for one of them, but i did not want to only read one that wasnt even at the start of it all), and i was also not that interested in them all that much either; i know some characters from them are in the sd gundam game that's also on steam (cross rays (?)), but with how much ive been drawing lately & other irl things, i didnt get around to get it. i wanted to first see the characters through that & then try more to find the mangas if i wind up interested in them (my very first exposure of gundam as a whole that even led me to 00 was dwg3) or in worst case scenario just read the entire wiki of what goes on in them. from some friends that have read bits of them or know about them, they didnt like it so i didnt get my hopes up is all. i did like 874 & 887s designs and i was thinking of drawing them at some point regardless

for majority of them though, they have such drastically different of designs from all 00 media we mainly have that its also hard for me to grasp them as fitting in this series (not to say the designs are bad in any way! when i first got here i thought they looked pretty cool, i just think they look a bit off with the rest of 00, at least for the anime) with the introduction of even more dna sequences for some of them afaik 😭 its why ive also abstained from drawing the blue haired innovade appearing in the 2nd season livestage, but i did not cross out the possibility to draw them.

if you so much wanted me to draw any or even all of them that appear in these side stories, you couldve also simply just asked; ive written several times i am always open to requests including innovades

my tldr is i was not interested in those side stories yet to know much about them & i like focusing on drawing those i already know of + i do want to also draw every single background innovade we are shown thruout the anime & movie, despite they've no names

[tojisbootycall]

journal entry

i watched kiki's delivery service when it came back in theaters and i dont know if it was the stress or exhaustion or shitty fucking week or all three, but i sobbed. i sobbed through the whole movie. there's an inexplicable feeling of hope throughout miyazaki's films that i usually enjoy, but this one time it punched me in the gut. KDS is about capitalism and how it leeches you dry. that's the point of the movie, and only through acts of humanity can we find ourselves again. its sweet and moving and one of the tamer ghibli movies on the market.

but as i watched kiki move from place to place and explore, i realized, somewhere that i had let callous over because looking back did no good, that i would never have that. that my time to be an explorative child was over, and i had spent it being cooped up and scared and afraid of anyone knowing me well enough to know that i was harboring a secret so deep it would take years for it to come forth. i spent it locked inside my room barely moving a muscle lest i wake the beast i was so scared of.

didnt matter. it ripped its way through my ribcage itself. it didnt hurt back then and it doesnt particularly hurt now. it was necessary because i wasnt going to realize my identity through any other way. i didnt grow up with gentle words and coaxing hands. it was do or die, and it took almost dying to do.

but for that one 120 minute stretch, it was agonizing. knowing i will never be a child. that i never was a child. that i was learning how to lie and shift identities seamlessly at the same age kiki explored her wants and needs. that shifting is certainly a skill, and one i still harbor. but...i do not have fond memories of finding myself like kiki does, like several children do. i have vague ideas of pain and many, many nights wondering how to make my transness go away. it never did. and i realized eventually it wasnt going to.

i am not the perfect trans person. i dont like being trans. i dont pass. i never will pass, not upon first glance. i didnt have tangential support in my house growing up and as an adult, paving my own way and paying my own way, i am too poor for surgeries. i have a large chest. one that wont go away with binding so i dont, because i also have chronic lung issues. i have pcos, which interacts directly with how my body metabolizes T. im fat. like. nothing is fucking easy. i have been met with brick wall after brick wall and if i could make my life a smidgeon easier by not being trans on top of it i would.

which is terrible, i know, which is why i often dont make being trans a facet of my online space, unless it becomes necessary. im just. so tired. i flinch whenever im outside. im never gendered correctly and at some point it just hurts. flayed from the outside in. other times its not me. i dissociate. thats not me theyre misgendering. it cant be. other times i just want to cry knowing it will never change. and so i must go on and find a way to cope with that. im not there yet though.

one day i will be. hopefully. i plan to stick around long enough to be. until then it is endless flinching, days where staying inside my home and not being seen is something like relief, and nights gripping onto anything that tells me staying here is worth it.

these will not be easy times. but eventually they will be easier. and i have to look forward to such things. until then, i think its ok to cry over ghibli movies every once in awhile.

[k1ngj0ve]

Random Metalocalypse headcanons

Nathan: I think hes bisexual (but hides it), is deeply emotional, likes and is kind to children but doesnt want any of his own (hopes someone else will have kids he can dote on), the only instrument he plays is piano (but not super well), is straight up the only one here who is actually A Goth, is deeply deeply insecure, has accidentally become a 'can only solve problems with threats' type due to that being how he dealt with bullying. Also he has ALWAYS had vaguelly prophetic dreams since childhood, but cant tell them apart from regular ones and cant always tell if they are good or bad, so he only sometimes does what they say

Skwisgaar: i made a long post about this previously but he has complete dylexia and due to his intense anxiety and his moms general belittling of mistakes he actually is WAY worse at english than it seems like he is and he sort of just muddles through and pretends. His english is much worse when hes thinking about it, which the others noticed, which is why they rarely correct anything he says because hell go silent for 3 days. Also hes bisexual (openly before being in Dethklok) and yes he IS some kind of god child but he probably WASNT appointed for the soul purpose of making babies Toki: not stupid! not 'mind of a child'. Just immature. I headcanon that he was not of-age when he joined Dethklok and someone in Dethklok (i havent decided who is funniest yet) had to legally adopt him to keep him in the country and they kinda forgot. He only hit 21 in season 1 and while he HAD been drinking before that he really started going overboard after it got easier. Also, skwisgaar taught him english (hence same pluralization quirk) but hes now much better at it. Despite his comments about 'superior scandinavian education' he didnt actually go to school and didnt learn to read or write until he was older, but hes very good with computer codes and math. ALSO his parents arent his real parents, he was thought to be a demon child born to a member of the flock with no husband and was adopted to be 'fixed' but ended up just goign towards demonic things since he thinks hes a demon. Is it true? idk. Murderface: Gay but also in-universe many many many many people are attracted to him. Hot people. Movie stars. gay men especially. Refuses to admit hes gay because it feels like 'giving in' to a thing that everyones always said about him. He grew up in Tomahawk with pickles but doesnt have the accent because he took after his grandparents. PIckles mom refuses to admit she knows murderface. ALSO that 'murderface expert' guy is making up at least half of that. he does bath he just has like skin problems and is too impatient to deal with them and too anxious about being made fun of to go to the doctor about minor issues like athletes foot. Hes in a secret highly emotional online relationship with a guy hes only seen in person once because of insecurity reasons

Pickles: trans or cis depending on my mood at the moment ;p Bisexual and knows it but doesnt knwo the word for it. A lot of health problems hes been diagnosed with but he always forgets about. Wears contacts (or just chooses to be blind some days). He is NOT Mollys son, actually, hes Calverts from a mistress which is why his mom hates him so much (also why his dad said he belonged in a 'garbage can', hes referencing that he wishes pickles mom had an abortion). yes of COURSE hes in love with nathan, he just like assumes its not possible and 99% of the time is okay with that. Ofdenson: for some reason i had a misunderstanding for many years that he had ALWAYS been part of the church of the black klok and so even now that i know its not true, i still prefer it. To me, this is why he is so fucking negligent-- in some way the klokateers and audiences must be a blood sacrifice for the apocalypse (or potentially to stave it off? unclear). Additionally he is largely responsible for the entire 'look' of the enterprise. I simply dont believe that half the shit in mordland were ever seen by dethklok or could even possibly have been conceived of by them, let alone asked for. My headcanon is he is the one that started the entire 'branding of the gears' thing and is responsible for the brainwashing (this i think has canon support at least)

[psychelis-new]

thank you very very very much for my reply snd so sorry for my very long ramble. I guess I dont know what else to do atp, I couldve done much more had I not felt the need to fit in like everyone else is currently doing even memes are less entertaining as well as a lot fo it relying so much on the internet i just want to escape all of this nonsense i really do. like just yeet me into space then if anything. i dont care anymore for my life really. ik im probs just making excuses or sounding dramatic but it seems many others at leasdt have talents or something that they care deeply about. i just seemed to have missed the chances and since we didnt have any of this stuff when i was a kid

I dont particularly care for wealth yet at the same time that too is everywhere so its like fomo and inability to simply be satisfied in anything i like or do bc someone else has more or better things they are doing and its so easy to fall into the trap of comparisons, like so and so is posting their whole life online or so and so is exceedingly popular online and irl. i dont know lets just simply say that i keep feeling lkke a nobody and all anyone else on here seems ro say manifest xyz things and how age is just a number without knowing peoples past experiences or lack thereof skills and so on. i just dont even know what i want anymore either. its like im just a soulless blob in a pile of other blobs and everyone else is blobbing about stuff i dont particularly care about online.

i regret being born in my generation, i really do, theres almost too much going on at once but itd all digitalised rather than in person. even celebs dont seem to realise their devices can have an off button maybe if they werent online so much others would be inspired to do that as well but even if you go out anywhere people on their phones or go to concert let say people on their phones again how else to gsin connection with others when its all done via a horrid little screen which i regret buying but once again it is much required in todays society. theres certain things i wouldve loved to have done in previous generations or maybe had i been a different person of a different nationality but i still wouldve had to adjust to needing to be online for the most part. even just typing shit into google feels so soulless like i havw a brain but i dont need to think or feel and i dont need opinions cause someone online will end up hating me for it so thats out the window

As I was suggesting you, you need a break and find yourself again. You're too focused on what others do, who they are, and compare yourself to something that doesn't even exist (online world is pretty much like movies these days) and try to act the same as them to fit in (no but fr, who cares what celebs do online or how long they are online? it's their life, let them do what the heck they want -plus, they're often a brand with legs, they're making money that way...). But anyway you cannot fit in something if you don't know who you are and what you're searching for and if you don't know where you want to fit in (and where you actually can fit in without losing yourself -which you probably already did, in order to not feel left out).

You are worthy, your life is very worthy, but your worth is not outside, your worth is inside of you. Same as your talents and whatever good you possess (and don't tell me you don't cause everyone does). You cannot find it online or in strangers online, and for sure you won't seeing if you keep comparing with others and what they seem to have... so stop trying to do so. If others have fun online and have found their own place there, let them. Who cares what they find of so cool there. But if you don't, then it's time for you to find what you find funny by taking a break. Put in effort (the one you were calling for so much in the other ask) and find in yourself and what you want and like. The only way to find your soul inside of your blob is to look in that blob that is you and finding your voice. You cannot let others tell you who you are: only you know.

But it's useless if I keep repeating myself and you can't see you are worthy and not caged (you know it but still, you cannot leave the comfort zone you have created: you feel like you won't ever fit in and you keep finding comfirmations of it out of any interactions you have online. If you don't work on how you see things and yourself, nothing will change for real). You can think with your mind, you can believe other things than what you're told by society or people that only want to sell a product/gain from what they do (I already answered an ask or two on this... were they yours?). You can do what you would have loved to do in any other time: it's not about this generation, it's about you and what you want... don't find excuses to keep yourself out of what you desire to do or how you desire to live. Don't blame it all on this society, where you live and the times we're living in. You still have a choice, you can act differently and who the heck should care about it? If it makes you happy, do it. But if it's really so, if you know you'd feel better out of it, it's not the internet the problem, it's you caging yourself in a cycle that doesn't even exist (but was well created to sell products again)...

For real, take a moment for yourself. Maybe journal about how you feel, what you want and what you're searching for and then go find it. It may take a while and some effort, but you will make it. Maybe your people aren't online but at the supermarket you usually visit, or at the library or they share any other interest with you offlline. Idk. If you need connections, first of all connect with yourself. Then, you'll be able to connect also with others the way you need.

Again all the best! I know you're now writing me cause I am making you feel less alone, but I am not the answer you're seeking. It's only within you.

[neaverse]

hi hi!! i am curious about the art class fic and the regulus birthday fic if you wanna talk about either or both of those!

Omg hi, thank you!! I'll gladly talk about both of them because they're so ridiculous and I love them😭

The Art class fic is such a silly fic that I came up with one night and I truly want to finish it. It's partially a texting fic— well, there's a lot of texting but it's also just a regular fic set in a modern, muggle world.

Basically, James spontaneously decides to sign up for an art class after seeing an ad online. James is not an artistic person at all, but it looked fun, so why not? He doesn't expect much, but he certainly doesn't expect to see Sirius’ little brother sat behind a desk as soon as he walks through the door.

Here's an excerpt:

James thinks, bitterly, as he comes to a harsh stop in the doorway to the classroom, that the universe is out to get him. There is no bloody way that this is happening. No, Regulus Black is not taking the same art class as him. He is just not.

Regulus is supposed to be in France, drinking and shopping and partying his way across the country with Barty and Evan, if his Instagram stories and posts are anything to go by, that is. So, imagine James’ surprise when his best friend's little brother— whom he hasn’t seen in three years— is not only back in England, but taking the same art class as James. At the same time as him. In the same building.

James contemplates the idea of running out of the building and not showing up to a single class because of this. Regulus has yet to notice him, sitting in the back with his headphones on and eyes plastered on his phone screen. He thinks that his chances of making a quiet exit without ever letting Regulus know that he was there are quite good.

Aaaand another one:

James: DONT YOU DARE LILY

James: I TOLD YOU THIS IN SECRET

Sirius: You told her but not me???

Sirius: What kind of best friend are you??

Lils: The kind that wants to fuck your brother

Sirius: WHAT

Mary: OH MY GOD

Marls: NO YOU DIDNT JAMES

Marls: DID YOU FUCK HIS BROTHER???

James: NO I SWEAR I DIDNT

Remus: Prongs…

James: Yes…?

Remus: little advice. don’t come over tonight

Remus: actually, you should probably start running

Remus: if you want to live

James: Sirius?

Sirius: Best listen to Moony.

James: It was good knowing you all!!

James: And thank you Lils. I hate you

Lils: Hate you too<3

Marls: this is like watching a movie. Where’s the popcorn?

Pete: 🍿🍿🍿

The Regulus birthday fic was actually written on my own birthday. I was having a hard time and thought I would project all of my feelings towards turning older —and my birthday in general— onto Regulus, and this fic was born. It's a muggle au and it basically follows Regulus during his birthday (no shit) and how he tries to avoid having to celebrate it. He pretends he doesn't care, that it's just another day, but deep down he wishes someone (his brother) would care enough to message him. So, in good old Regulus fashion, he shuts everyone out and ends up having a depressive ass birthday. Yay!

Here's an excerpt:

A perfect birthday, in Regulus' mind, is to pretend that it's just another day. No, nothing special about this date, just another boring, tiresome day of the week.

The problem, however, is his friends. They love birthdays. And despite knowing Regulus' hatred towards his own, they always plan something.

So, naturally, he has turned off his phone, locked the door to his flat and drawn the curtains shut, because it won't happen this year. He refuses to have them barging in with cake and wide grins on their faces. He refuses to watch Barty and Evan humiliate the fuck out of him as they start singing happy birthday out of tune in a packed restaurant. He refuses to have Pandora look at him with sympathy when he inevitably picks up his phone, waiting for a message from his brother that will never come. He refuses to have Dorcas beg him to go out for the night and get shitfaced drunk.

He also doesn't want to deal with his parents today, but there's so much to unpack about all of that so let's just… Not.

He's twenty as of today. Well, he's been twenty for eleven hours already. It doesn't feel real, very… anticlimactic, to say the least. It should be a milestone, but Regulus is all alone in his dark flat.

[prettynhot]

13.01.2024 Sat restarting,revolving n readjusting.

new day,new me:) i’ll start talking about last night first. after i logged in here with my journal update, i left my course place n got home. while i was walking though, i witnessed the first snow falling in my city for this winter!

the snow was incredibly pretty and delicately falling with a slight cold breeze. the breeze moved my hair quite romantically, i was blushing from the cold so with my cute red cheeks n red nose, delicate snowflakes in my hair n outfit, i looked and felt like i was in a movie. people were passing by with literal awes and someone even offered to carry my bag for me! people are so nice <33

after i got home i ate my dinner,got some sweets and as i sat down to relax,i fell asleep😭 i woke up to a call from my sister, facetiming me to ask what to wear for her bday celebration. she just turned 30 this year! i still cant believe she is 30 now,she has that young aura n energy which makes everyone feel like she’d be in her 20s forever. crazy that shes stepping into her 30s now. im excited for this new chapter in her life, feel like its going to be her best one yet:)

after talking to my sister, i got up,changed from my outdoor clothes to my comfy sweatpants n thin,soft long sleeve,grabbed water n cleaned up my room a bit. after that i shopped online for a while and danced for at least 2 hours.

it was soo much fun!!! i hadnt danced in a quite long while n totally forgot how in touch with my femininity n grounded it makes me feel! while i was dancing ag’s new song played, titled ‘yes and’ which i quite liked!! then i saw that time flew by n it was nearly 12 am, which i was waiting for in order to celebrate my sister’s bday:) we facetimed at 12 exactly n i even blew candles for her! she got so happy n told me all about the presents she got n how her bday celebration went. we talked a bit but i needed to study so i had to hang up :(

then, since i had not studied at all ever since i got home,i sat down n studied for a good 2 hours, brushed my teeth n my hair n had a nice night sleep😴

woke up in a good mood, drank my morning water n had a filling, delicious breakfast with a good load of veggies, a whole lot of protein n some carbs. it was soo yummyy^^

then i got ready, decided to postpone the glamming for my little tc thing, since i didnt want a crush to get in the way of how my exam goes, knowing i wouldnt be as comfortable in all glam.

so i took the exam! it went quite nice at first but as time went by, nearing the end of the 3 hrs, my focus got harder to maintain n i didnt even realize i had a headache from constrating so hard! even though i didnt feel like i did as good as i was capable of, it still wasnt horrible n i know the result will be decent. so im pleased yet eager to do more!

after the exam, i had a class with my teacher:) the one whom i have a little crush on:) he was exceptionally smiley today! he asked me how my exam went, kiinda checked me out(i mightve even made it up honestly😭but lowkey felt it though!) chatted with us for a while. then his class starts, as usual hes very interactive with with everyone n me, jokes around n stuff.

one thing i really like about him is that he always looks at me while he’s telling a story about himself or anything personal really. its as if like hes telling that to me only as he is only making eye contact with me. it makes me feel super special!

it was quite hot in the classroom so i wanted to open the windows yet he was cold so he didnt want me to,and joked about that the whole class.

and he even came rlly close n sat beside me.specifically right beside me. just to talk to me.

UGHHHHHHHH

losing my pretty mind over that.

this man literally tried to sit on the heater to talk😭hes also absurd sometimes.

AND ALSO!!

HE TALKED ABOUT HOW HE IS TRYING TO NOT BREAK STUDENTS HEARTS NOW. WHILE LOOKING AT ME. HE WAS LIKE ‘IM WATCHING MY WORDS NOW SINCE I DONT WANT TO BREAK ANYONES HEART’. WHILE LOOKING AT ME. CUZ I TOLD HIM HE HURT ME THE OTHER DAY??

look, i might be delusional(likely) but come on, what would you think in my shoes?

i’d like to think that it was intentional so i will:)

n that was all for my little crush talk.

after his class i stayed on the place where i took my courses to study a bit more. while i was there, one of the founders of that place, offered me fruits n even cut them up for me🥹 hes usually an unusually cold man so i was quite suprised! but it made me very happy nonetheless!

after i was done, while i was leaving the course i came by the owner of the course place n chatted with him for a while, he’s the bestest! hes very intelligent and sweet!

that’s all i have for today! i texted with one of my best friends as well, we promised to meet this monday to visit our national library. we’ll see how everything goes!

im trying to readjust n revolve, into the girl who is disgustingly overeducated, into the girl who is balanced and feminine, into the girl who has everything together in her life<3

same time tomorrow?

[cieloclercs]

lover, you should’ve come over , send me a description of yourself + a fandom and gender preference, and i’ll ship you with a character

i want it with f1 and it doesn't matter old or current drivers. i sent you this request before but i think i forgot to add preference so it was my fault. hope it doesn't bother you that i'm sending you a new one again, if it bothers you then i'm sorry. i think it's gonna be long so... sorry in advance x2

i'm 22 and history student. i want to be an academic because knowledge is pretty much everything to me. if a djinn grant me 3 wishes, one of them would be to know everything about universe, humankind and other things. i like learning new things and i like to share them with others whether its something scientific, about history, philosophy or just random fact about pop culture it doesn't matter. sometimes i just starting to tell someone a random fact i learned out of the blue so there's that i think. i also think my love language is quality time. i'll remember whats your favorite book, movie, song, sweater, drink etc it doesn't matter i'll etch everything about you into my brain forever. its my curse, sometimes i think that way.

i like buying new books even if i have billions of them i haven't read it yet at my home it doesn't matter. i like to go museums. my idea of relaxing and holiday is going to new historical places, museums, exhibitions, watching something or reading something, explore new music etc so you get the idea.

i like to watch art movies, documentaries, keeping an eye on film festivals. my favorites are those 3 hours long old movies you can hardly find subtitles for but when you do... it gives you everything you need and more.

when i said i like learning new things i mean it as a learning different subjects or matters. it doesn't matter tbh if that thing got me interested in then you probably gonna find me searching it online at 3 am.

i'm a bit cold to others i'm not gonna lie. definetely judge someone and if i dont find them okay-ish then warming up to them and liking them is gonna be hard. i tend to isolate myself and zone out frequently when i'm overwhelmed so even if you continue to talk there's a big chance i'm not gonna hear you but i have pretty good focus so thats the plus for me.

i'm definetely quick to anger and hold grudges really well won't forget something you said to me 10 years ago. but i'm also a ride or die and would bring shovel to your house unquestioned so i guess that's even it out?

but there's a weird and kind of intimidating side of me? at least that what my friends been saying. my classmates and friends often saying to me how they were/are intimidated to talk to me because they didn't want to seem stupid or didnt gage out what would i say or react. weird side of me i think its that sometimes i tend to get awkward not gonna lie...

also i tend to get... disappear for extended period of time out of the blue. i'm just vibing at home or outside by myself. i'm happy with it but others don't.

i hope it's not too long and if it is sorry </3

i ship you with lance stroll!

— i’ve never pictured lance as the academic type per se, but i always get the sense he’s a bit of a dark horse when it comes to his talents outside of f1… i feel like he’d be super interested in all of the stuff you are, especially philosophy. once you guys start dating, i can picture him getting really into philosophy and history and reading to the point where he’s basically just feeding your own need for more knowledge (match made in heaven frrr)

— obviously the guy is loaded so he has no problem buying you whatever books you want. instead of being the kind of boyfriend that goes out and buys his girlfriend jewellery to show affection (bc his love language is DEFINITELY gift giving) he’ll buy you a ton of books instead 😭 i feel like you’ll get so used to it that every time you go out you leave a reading list on the table for him to look at, and when you get back he’ll have bought you EVERY SINGLE BOOK. even the really obscure ones, and you’re like how did he manage to find this at such short notice? 😭

— loads of your dates consist of either movie nights or trips to museums and exhibitions. you might do some more mindless lowkey stuff in-between, but lance will pretty much do whatever it is you want to do 😭 he’ll definitely surprise you with random trips to loads of interesting historical places. even if you only mention a particular place one time in passing, the next thing you know he’ll get you on his private jet and take you there for the weekend 🥹 it just shows he’s a really good listener too !! a bit like you, he just wants to commit everything about you to his memory 🤍

— i never thought i’d say this because i picture lance as being quite isolated a lot of the time, but he encourages you to get out more and stops you from retreating within yourself. he knows that you have no problem being alone with your thoughts, but he also wants you to get out and experience things with new people 🥹

— BUT on the other hand, you guys are definitely the judgy inside joke couple 😭 i mean in the sense that you tell each other everything. if you’re holding a grudge against someone for a particular reason, he knows exactly why and holds a grudge too 😭 basically you always tell each other your drama to the point where you’re essentially just sharing enemies. this unfortunate person will never know why but every time they come near you both you’ll automatically just fall silent and stare them down 😭 half the grid is scared of you both for this but it’s fine you’re iconic

— ps. i’m sorry this took so long! i’ve been mulling over this one for a while 😅

[crayonverse]

Alright nobody asked or actually cares but here’s a bunch of my physical video games that I love

(long post)

Starting off weak: a bunch of my normal sims stuff. I have a lot of the sims 3 packs but they’re at my dads house (Along my with supernatural s1-15). i also have more sims 4 because i, stupidly, paid money for them (and i also dont understand how to pirate the rest)

Fantasy Life (best toh game ever I love it so much also one of the characters was accidentally trans coded please play this game🙏🙏h). also i could never complete the Bratz ponyz. i just kept cleaning the horses and then gave up lmao

Xbox games I can’t play because I don’t have an Xbox at my Mums and the one at my dads broke. I hope to find a new one sometime🫶. but also Viva Pinata is a brilliant game and is the best ever actually. everyone needs to a look a whirlim forever

Most goated Pokémon game ever. Real. God it’s so much fun I love this game sm. It was one of my first ever Pokémon games and I loved just running around and making friends. Truly amazing

Not games but movies I have. That arceus + the Lucario and mew movie were my only Pokémon media n shit. I rewatched them sm

When wii party and worms battle came out you know the sleepover got so good. the diseny enchatned princess was my childhood i just kept making a new princess and running around doing nothing

Switch games!!!!!!! I really like Pokémon games and eevee is my favourite little guy ever. i can never get far in ary bc my switch doesnt have enough space to keep playing :( it does seem cute with the small time i can play through

Scribblenauts has been like. One of my fav game series. Maxwell ur a sweet little man and I love him. also nintendogs those games have been so cute throughout my life. i love animals

i also consisently buy every single one of each of these games in their series bc they always slap so hard

The imagine series is also a staple those fucking things r COOL. ive just recently restarted my tomodachi island <3

PS3 stuff. Me and my dad used to play Rayman together

imagine teacher was my fav out of the imagine games i have. i got so invested in those fake preschoolers (the pottery level is the suckiest tho i hate it). moshi monsters cool tho i like it

Mod Nation was my mysims racing since i didnt have it and its. actually kinda fun. i think it also had an online element but idk if the servers are still active at this point. bugsnax is also revoulutionary play it play it play it play it

diseny universe was like a big game i kept trying to play with my friends but i think they fucking hated it LOL

my time at portia goated (saving up for the sequel rn)

outer worlds was also one of the only games i full on cried at the end. also at the time i ID'd as a asexual lesbian and Parvati, who was an asexual lesbian, made me feel very seen at the time. shes still my fav companion from that game.

lego dc supervillains has been my fav lego game so far and i hope more lego games are like it in the future because it was great

my lbp stack💪💪💪 i havent done much of A Big Adventure yet bc its more of an adventure game than the others and also you cant save normally in the game For Some Reason. like you cant just. save and quit. idk why that isnt in the game.

sorry for showing you all danganronpa

this has been my most recent video game. my dad went garage sale hunting and came back with two of these so i just stole one out of his boxes and took it home. havent played it yet but it looks cool

my sims games 💪💪💪💪💪💪 yes the fact that skyheroes is on the ps3 does in fact annoy me greatly no i will not tell my lovely mother that at all

ok yeah thats all the ones i want to show. i do have a bunch of other stuff but theyre not that cool

[notafunkiller]

Why? They’re sending their insane followers to attack you. I swear to God, these people are more interested in the toxic part of fandom and harassing other people and stocking then they are in actually enjoying things. These freaks are so incredibly unhinged and unstable with how excited and giddy they get at the prospect of violating his autonomy and personal space that they even brag about it online, meanwhile they send people hate/ i have a theory about it, its just what i think might happened so i dont tell this as the only truth but just my opinion. I think aside from being to catch up in their fantasy without any free time from internet they just mad because live they imagine would happened never did. And i saw it couple of times before, when they didnt get what they whant, when seb didnt mention aw, when he said the bracelet is from his mom, when he didnt take aw in some places they belive she would be, when he dont talk openly about her in interviews they are so flustrated yet they cant blame seb because they make him this saint who cant do no wrong, not a normal human who make mistakes and sometimes can be wrong, but this ideal men they feel the need to protect, so they cant put the blame on him even if they are mad at him on something he said so they turn around and blame the groupe of people they trully hate. And look everything wrong is always our fould: he left ig well because of us even if he was on ig when aw was around so its not to protect her, they say he say things to put us in place but to be honest its not black and white he never use term his rs and how you read it is your thing and more people said its ore about his live, movie choices and caa agency(they again mad because you cant say its 100% about his rs), seb dont talk about aw its probably because he is scare we hate him, he dont take her on events its because of us...its like a pattern at this point. And its always visible when they feel they lose because the arguments they use are like 5 year old child: you stupid, he will not sleep with you, you wrong idiot and so on. Its like even they deep deep down feel this rs dont look healthy, more toxic than ever and that aw and seb dont live the fairytell fantasy shippers created in their heads but they cant let this thoughts win so they turn their anger towards people who they can attack online. It happened before and its just a next part like episode 5 to their hate show. I dont understand why everytime when they dont get what they whant they blame others but i guess i will never know, but the way they act dont make them look good it actualy make them look delusional, like they already lost thats why they have nothing else and turn to bully and insults. I never saw pr team groupe do mass bullying on twitter or go to shippers blogs so often just to fight, but shippers do and its always more when seb say or do something that knock their idea of perfect couple of the pedestal. I just think they mad, and maybe they loosing and cant accept it in the end.

.

[weekendswithnewtmas]

I need to vent for a sec.

So im involved in an online community of gamers and streamers. I was in a heavily toxic relationship for a little over two years, but i broke it off about a year and a half ago. Unfortunately during that time my ex got involved with these people as well and they're all wonderful, but they've become friends with him and i still have to see him around all the fucking time and it just pisses me off. I don't miss that man at all, it just makes me angry that he did what he did to me, got away with it and they don't know and still hang out with him all the time, sometimes even more than me.

When i tell you this man is fake as fuck, i mean it. He has everyone fooled. He had me fooled for over two years.

He's immature as fuck, would throw temper tantrums when things didn't go his way. If he got upset if any way, even if it wasn't my doing. Like if he was gaming and lost, he would literally not talk to me and ignore me or just completely talk down to me and tell me it was my fault. Even when i had done NOTHING to do with it.

He would gaslight the fuck out of me. Make fun of or mock my choices of music i liked or shows and movies i was into.

Communication was lackluster as fuck, if i didn't text or communicate with him we literally wouldn't talk the whole day. He was also very secretive with his life, and after two years that shouldn't be the case. Im not saying i have to know everything, but barely knowing anything after being with someone for two years is not right.

We were long distance, he never came to visit me once, yet i made the trips to visit him multiple times. Everytime i went out there i had to get a rental car. I also was mysteriously never allowed to stay over at his place when i was there, he always had some excuse as to why i couldn't. I had to either get a hotel or an airbnb which he never offered to help me pay for anything. Not fucking once.

Him and one of our mutual friends who was a girl, i came to find out from her, they would send inappropriate and sexual memes to eachother. She told me this, he never said a word. That was a huge red flag for me, sending stuff like that to someone who isn't your girlfriend? I don't think so. Also they dated immediately after i dumped him, so big surprise there lmao.

The final straw i had was when i didn't hear from him for three days. I had been losing feelings for a while, but was trying to keep this relationship because i cared about him, or so i thought. Looking back i think i was just lonely and didnt want to lose someone who i thought cared about me. So after not hearing from him for over three days, after me sending him several text messages over the days, i ended it. I sent him a detailed message as to what happened and why and how i was feeling and the response i got back was atrocious. (Side note - texting was our only form of communication aside from discord. He said he didn't have Snapchat and never wanted to video call so my options were limited.)

This man gaslight the fuck out of me, tried to blame me and say it was my fault and that i had been the one ignoring him, when on my fucking phone you can clearly see i sent multiple messages with ZERO response. Yet during those three days, this mans was gaming and streaming and showing up in other peoples streams to talk, yet couldn't be bothered to try and communicate with me there either. So i was done.

This man treated me like complete and utter shit and is an immature child who gets upset and throws literal temper tantrums when things don't go his way.

It just irks me still having to see him around and interact with a bunch of my friends and the people I've come to care for, when i know how fake this man is with everyone. His online presence is so completely opposite from how he is in person.

[losing-my-mind-in-the-mirror]

you called ? (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

hehe

hi sweetie, how are you doinggggggg, how was vacay, how is life going on!!!

I came online bc mr. conan fucking gray released a new song and i wanted to see how is it going with other ppl who like him bc i loved the vibe and its different from what he usually sings and everything.

speaking of songs, i liked the one you linked in my last ask a lot.

my exams are almost over, the last one is on 26th and the next ones are in like july end so yayyyyy

i am looking forward to some holidays if we will get any because its not confirmed yet and i do not trust my institute as they didnt give us any winter holidays either. but i do wanna learn something like dancing or driving or even swimming, if we get like a month of holiday bc i really wanna learn something useful i have started to feel like a useless person tbh bc i dont do anything productive with my time. i dont read i dont write i dont have a single fucking hobby. i am just on this damn phone watching web series and movies.

although my laptop is fixed now so ig i can start reading again.

i have a rack full of course book but i just dont feel like reading them. i go through a 300 page book in two hours, just skimming through and skipping half of the syllabus. and yesterday i didnt even study that much i just gave the exam according to prev knowledge which is so so so limited idek if i will pass. like i am sure out of 10 subject i am for sure going to fail in atleast 3 including the last one and barely pass by a mark or two in the other subs.

and if i wont get any holidays then i think we will join the institute before or by 15th of june and then we will have to settle in and maybe start preparing for orientation for the next batch of freshers and maybe get to participate in some inter-institute competions. bc there are like 9 branches and i am hoping i will make some friends from the other institutes so its going to be a lot of activities and chaos and i wish i will get to participate in something and they wont reject me for being completely useless everywhere. bc that, would be hella depressing. specially as i m already feeling useless and then other ppl will make me feel more useless, like gimme a break here.

i am going to try to stay positive about it though. as long as i can that is.

sorry for the long rant lol. have a good day, or night. <3

buh bye

love ya sm

-🐬

Omg 😭😭😭 you’re actually here??? 😭😭😭

Vacay was great, life is okay ig and I didn’t cry in like 3 weeks :D

Yeah I listened to it and I really like it!! I honestly don’t know what song that was I’m glad you like it ❤️🐬

Good luck for your exams!! You’re gonna do great!!

So wait when was the last time you had holidays?? That sounds super stressful I hope you get a few free days soon <33

You aren’t useless!! But that’s great, you learn the things you wanna learn! Speaking of learning I’ll probably start taking guitar classes soon 😁

I Hope you make new friends <3 if anyone says something mean or makes you feel useless I’ll kick their asses!!

Always feel free to rant my love <3

I was at a swim competition today again! I wasn’t really good because I was sick last weeks but it was fun and I’ll go dancing tonight so I’m excited for that already 💃🏽🕺

Love you so so so much 🐬🐬🐬

[callsignspark]

I'm so happy to have them back, I missed them so much! this first time apart was hard for them, especially because of the comms blackout getting extended! the emails were so fun to write - and such a good chance to really show their personalities and how they communicate. I really wanted to show the night of the significant others (Flora is included in that!) putting the boxes together but it got cut! just know that it was chaotic and loud and so much fun. (as evidenced by the spritzed note lol) they are so lovely 💕 thanks for your kind words, as always

I DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THIS!?! like imagine having a facetime set and he just never comes online because he’s de- - because he's de- HOW DARE YOU. (that's definitely why she was panicking so much, imagine how that phone call would go?? I can't!)

get OUTTE of here right now!!!! this is precious! and he definitely will appreciate it and tell her 500 times how pretty she is - pretty Mary. his pretty Mary. if he had made the call, she definitely would have heard how pretty she looked. (how many times will she hear it when they actually get to talk?? so many!)

oh honey no!!! mav coming over to tell her is simultaneously so sweet and thoughtful but also would make me think the worst too? which i feel like that’s just mav haha - Mav is trying his hardest which is great but unfortunately he's also not thinking of the consequences of what his appearance may look like lol poor man

SCREAMING!!! I KNOW BRADLEY AHHHHHH HIS DAD KNOWS HES GONE FOR MISS MARY!!! - it took him a second to realize who Bradley had a crush on but once he figured it out HE. WAS. TOTALLY. ON. BOARD. #1 Madley shipper (that's their official ship name btw. I just decided.)

oh sweet girl no. i also like that we’re shown that bradley has such a huge network because in the movie it is very much implied that he’s alone so to see mary notice this is sweet but also so sad she doesn’t think she has that? - he really went from no contact for 15+ years to the entire extended 1986 top gun class family being back in his life (which is amazing!) but seeing all these non-blood related uncles support without question just makes her remember how distant her own biological family is :(

JUST LIKE BRADLEY DOES?!?! GOODNIGHT BYEEEEEEE THATS HIS DAD AND THATS MAV’S DAUGHTER IN LAW - JUST LIKE BRADLEY DOES! THEY'RE LITERALLY ALREADY FAMILY. THEY'RE IN LOVE. THEY'RE SO SIMILAR.

i want their love like i want to have what they have so badly it’s cruel how i’m denied this - they're so soft and sweet and lovely.... I want to be them...

she’s more confident in her and his feelings and it gives me butterflies!!! - she's coming into her own and it's so exciting!!!

YOU KEPT IT IN AHHHHHH I LOVE THAT SHE ADMITTED THIS - I KEPT IT!!! WE HAD TO HAVE IT!!

What exactly sent Lieutenant Commander Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw into a tizzy? Carefully packaged cookies and a slightly blurry polaroid. - CAN YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING 100 MILES AWAY - HE'S LOSING IT AND NOTHING HAS HAPPENED YET

but there had been some wine involved as the group influenced her to spritz the paper. His eyes widen at the last line. Look under your cookies for an extra special surprise - CHEEKY MINX!!!!! I LOVE THE PERFUME!!!! - it would have been so funny to be in that room as they cheered her on!!

I NEED THE SCOOP!!!! // SHE WAS IN HIS ROOM!!! oh he’s so down bad for her!!! i think this is my fave bradley moment so far - SHE WAS IN HIS ROOM!!! he's so smitten, it's adorable and ridiculous at the same time. he's so sweet!!

kill me kill me kill me kill me AND THEN LOVE BRADLEY!?!!!!! - LOVE. BRADLEY. (could he be anymore obvious with his feelings?? probably not but he's still steaming at full strength!)

p.s. Mariella Vertucci, what the hell are you doing in my bedroom without me? - 404’ing - imagine how she was doing??? braver than any marine honestly.

AHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THIS!! and love how quickly she replies!! i totally did the same with my emails like you KNOW her heart is pounding the second she gets the notification the world stops - she heard the ping and ignored it for a second, expecting it to be work, and then her eyes catch the b.brad- and she almost chokes on toothpaste in excitement. (she was very glad to be alone based on the little high pitched squeak she made lol)

YOUR BED IS COMFY SO IS YOUR DIC- - FUCKING TOO TRUE. we all know the first time they have sex she doesn't get on top. but the second time? the following morning? she rides him in the soft dawn light and he falls even more in love with the gorgeous woman in his lap.

p.s. Uncle Shortstack was supposed to trust Aunt Responsible or Sister Sass with plant care - SISTER SASS IT’S SO TRUE - that's his sister!! and she never misses an opportunity to sass him!!

AHHHHHHHHH WEAR IT WEAR IT AND SEND HIM PICS ASAP - YOU ALREADY KNOW SHE DOES!!!

leave. get out right now. DREAM OF ME!?!!??? oh gosh it’s so dreamy (forgive the pun(?)) - she was feeling bold before he first cup of coffee!! they're so lovely.

His hair is sticking up from running his hands through it, and his cheeks are red, his shirt splattered with wet spots from his aggressive attempt at calming down. -

oh my god he’s so adorable and cute!!! the hair sticking up!!! he’s so down bad for mary and i can’t wait for their facetime!!!! - so overwhelmed! and shoutout to the boys for being bros and just letting it ride! the facetime is gonna be so !!!!

Mar[r]y Me - part 8.5.1

pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Mariella “M&M” Vertucci (fem!OC)

summary: A love story told through friendship, laughter, and food.

series warnings: 18+ minors DNI, discussion of insecurities, difficult family relationships, discussions of food and alcohol use, discussions of body image, conversations on what it’s like to be a fat woman trying to date in today’s society, extreme fluff, like soooo much flirting, warnings to be added as needed

word count: 4.4k

previous part | series masterlist | main masterlist

note: happy Sunday! this ended up far longer than I expected so there'll be some updates to the masterlist! thank you so much for your patience, I know it's been a while since the last part. love you all.

part 8.5.1 - snacks and SPF

Saturday, March 20, 2021

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Mary’s shoe bounces against the tile, echoing through the kitchen as she checks her watch again.

Ten minutes late.

“Things happen‌. Things happen! With the time zones and the technology. It’s still early for them!” She feels ridiculous talking out loud to her empty house. “Besides! Ten minutes is nothing! There’s probably just a problem with a satellite somewhere!”

The self-soothing does little to calm her nerves. She knows what happens during deployments; she’s seen the aftermath of the accidents that can happen. Fatal mistakes occurring in a nanosecond unable to be reversed. Part of her last job was to analyze the charred piles that used to make up a fighter jet, ignoring the brown stains splattered on the metal.

“No.” Mary shakes her head so hard she feels lightheaded. “We will not go down that road. Everything is fine until you are told it’s not. Everything is fine. He’s just late.”

She slides off the barstool, trying to work out the anxious energy with laps around the living room, her shoes clicking with each step. Mary catches sight of herself in the entryway mirror and frowns; all the effort she put into getting ready feels stupid now. The outfit, the heels, the carefully styled hair, the makeup that took an hour.

“You’re trying too hard.” She lightly scolds, frowning at the curls starting to lose their shape.

“But he’ll appreciate it.” She argues with herself, knowing that Bradley will be happy to see her wearing the replacement sweater he bought. He won’t see the tight jeans and heeled boots she decided to wear with it, but those aren’t for him. They’re for her, a little boost in her confidence.

The next lap takes her around the island, laptop and phone void of notifications.

Fifteen minutes late. 

Fifteen minutes late used to mean nothing; she used to love it when professors were fifteen minutes late. The excited buzzing of a classroom at the prospect of a canceled class. People comparing watches, phones, laptops, anything that could tell time, giggling as they discussed what to do with an unexpected hour of freedom. Now, it feels like the complete opposite. Dread filling her stomach like bad news is going to appear at her front door any second, the same way a tenured Ph.D. waltzing through the lecture hall doors at the last minute dashed all hopes of escape.

Mary is so distracted by trying to erase the bad thoughts swirling that she misses the silver car pulling into the driveway. She doesn’t notice the sound of the car door closing or the person walking to her front door, only pulled from the impending spiral by the doorbell ringing.

“Who the fuck…” One last wistful glance at the clock tells her the afternoon’s plans are probably dead.

Twenty minutes late. 

“Mav?” Mary can’t hide the surprise in her voice at seeing the older man on her front porch. “Is everything okay?”

“Can I come in?”

The lack of an answer sends a chill up her spine, and she silently moves to the side, letting the admiral into her home. He subtly looks around, taking in her colorful decor and sturdy furniture.

“Haven’t been here since you moved in; the place looks good, Mary.”

Her knees practically buckle at the use of her name; he always defers to her unofficial call sign or last name. The last time he used her first name was to introduce her to some visiting admirals from Washington. Something terrible had to have happened for him to show up unannounced on a Saturday at the same time she’s supposed to be video chatting with Bradley.

“Pete…” She croaks the name, nose burning with the urge to cry.

He turns around, face scrunched in confusion at the sound of his first name and stretching into panic at her wobbling lip.

“Everything is fine! He’s fine!” The shouted reassurance makes Mary flinch, years of therapy unable to eliminate the instinctive action completely. “Oh, jesus…”

Mav scans the room using the same quick-thinking senses that kept him alive for years in a jet, locating the tissues and swiftly bringing the box to the sniffling woman. His eyes are guilt-filled as he presses a kleenex into her hand, guiding them to the infamous pink couch.

“I’m sorry for yelling.”

“It s’okay.” Mary gives a shaky smile. “I’ve always been a bit jumpy.”

Pete bites his tongue as she sniffles and grimaces at the makeup that transfers to the tissue. Slider had told him in vague terms about the Vertucci family and how they’ve been less than supportive of their daughter, how that would be putting it generously. Bradley’s telling of how she spent her PTO during Christmas was more straightforward, a full picture forming as his nephew lamented a family he didn’t know.

“Officially, you don’t know what I’m about to tell you, and you can’t tell anyone else. Do you understand?” Mary confusedly blinks at him but nods her head in agreement. “The comms blackout got extended, and all the calls scheduled for the next week are being pushed out. All the recipients got notified, but when Laura went through the list to double-check, she realized your contact information had gotten entered wrong.”

“You came all the way over to tell me?”

“I was already out, and I figured you would be worried. And I wanted to make sure you were okay; I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to you lately and check on you. The first deployment away from each other is the hardest.”

“Oh- Bradley and I- we’re not-” Mary stumbles over her words, neck hot as she tries to explain.

“I know,” Mav gently assures. “But you will be; I know Bradley.”

Her heart flutters, not sure how to respond other than the bashful smile she can’t hide.

“And he would be embarrassed that I’m about to do this, but while he’s not here and it’s just us, I wanted to ask that you take care of him. Bradley means everything to me; he’s my kid, and I know how much he cares about you. You’ve both had some hard times, and I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

Slider had given her a similar talk before he left town. Bradley has such an incredible support system, with so many people who care about him, but it hurts her heart that she’s not close enough with her family to get the same treatment. She’s never brought anyone home, and none of her relatives ever bother to visit, the distance too far. Her parents had briefly - and accidentally - met the one boyfriend she had in college, an excruciating experience that had been the catalyst for their breakup. Since then, no one has seen Vertuccis in anything except pictures.

“I will, Pete. I don’t ever want to hurt him.”

The I love him is left unsaid, but she’s pretty sure Mav reads between the lines, clocking the hearts in her eyes as she thinks about the mustached man they care about so much.

“Good, and if he ever hurts you, just let me know. I’m old, but I still know all his weak spots.” Mav smiles at Mary's giggles, her eyes crinkling in laughter. “Okay M&M, I gotta get going, but stop by my office this week, and we’ll grab lunch. Also, Penny wants you to come to Easter dinner, so keep that in mind, and she’s having some sort of ladies-only thing next weekend that she wanted me to mention; she’ll probably call you tomorrow.”

“Okay! I’ll text her about what she wants me to bring for Easter.” There’s a moment of awkwardness by the door, but it disappears when Pete pulls her in for a hug. “Thank you, Mav.”

He squeezes her extra tight for a second, his throat thick when she presses her face against his shoulder just like Bradley does. “Any time, kid.”

Wednesday, March 31, 2021

Bradley splashes more cold water on his face in a futile attempt to calm down. He has to calm down. He needs to be in bed soon, sleeping and resting for tomorrow’s hops. But nothing is working. The shower was a failure, and so was a lap around the hangar deck, trying to let the salty sea air clear his brain. 

The communication blackout had been partially lifted two days ago, giving everyone access to email. Bradley had spent every available minute at the terminal in the Daggers ready room, catching up on twenty-nine days of messages from his family and Mary.

Mary.

Who had overwhelmed him with her sweet messages and silly jokes. Sending at least one email a day, keeping him up to date on work and the Dagger family in San Diego, occasionally sending a blurry photo of Mav with a caption reminiscent of a wildlife documentary. He had read her email from her birthday at least six times, staring at the photo she had attached. He couldn’t wait to print a copy of Mary snuggled on her couch, wearing the soft yellow sweater he bought and boldly spritzed with cologne. Her smile a little shy as she posed, just for him.

That’s not what got to him, though it’s certainly not helping.

It’s not the way she signed that email.

love, Mary

An echo of her birthday card, the addition of the pink heart emoji after her name making him smile.

It’s not how every email since has ended with the same signature.

Love. Love. Love. Love. Love.

And it’s not even that her emails have been slightly bolder. The content staying constant but with an extra something. It had taken a few days’ worth of updates to realize that she was being more blatant with her flirting, more open.

I’m always so hungry when I get home, and I just realized today it’s because you’re not here to bring me a turkey sandwich. I miss you and your thoughtfulness.

had girls’ night tonight - Aaron joined us - and we put Skyfall on for background noise. thought about you the whole time… I was so stupid to kick you out that night. I think that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. I’ll never understand how you forgave me, but I’m so glad you did.

should have stolen your flight school sweatshirt before you left. mine just isn’t as comfy.

He almost broke at the attached photo of her in bed, pouting at the camera with her lush pink lips and big brown eyes as the collar of her almost identical sweatshirt dipped to show off her freckled shoulder that was just begging to be kissed.

All of that? All of that was manageable.

So what exactly sent Lieutenant Commander Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw into a tizzy?

Carefully packaged cookies and a slightly blurry polaroid.

Today’s mail call brought care packages for all twelve members of the Dagger Squad, lovingly packed and sent by Mary, Danielle, Aaron, Kristina, and Flora. All the packages were the same, with identical toiletries, socks, sunscreen, and snacks from Costco, plus a note signed by the San Diego crew. The married Daggers had extra goodies and personal letters from their spouse.

The mood had risen exponentially since the boxes were dropped in their ready room; the midway point of deployment is always the hardest. But spending the evening playing the card game in Logan’s box put smiles on everyone’s faces. Even Jake, moping that there was no note from Flora in his box, laughed as Bob easily won three times in a row.

The crew slowly trickled out, returning to their bunks as it got closer to bedtime, but Bradley hung around, waiting until he was alone to open the last part of his box. The smaller box his note told him was just for him, Mary’s swirling signature below the instruction. He was glad to watch Mickey and Reuben leave, the latter giving him a knowing wink, and waited an extra second before unpacking his treats to get to the bonus box.

The scotch tap easily peeled away and the cardboard tabs folded back to reveal a small envelope, a big bag of shelled pistachios, and layers of individually wrapped sugar cookies. He didn’t bother with anything else, immediately unwrapping a cookie and taking a huge bite. Mary’s sugar cookies are a weakness of his, thick but soft, and the sweet practically melts in his mouth. He closes his eyes to enjoy the taste of home, and a familiar scent wafts past his nose.

Mary’s perfume.

It’s coming from the envelope. An involuntary grin spreading across his lips as he brushes crumbs off his shirt, carefully sliding his finger under the flap. His smile growing as he reads the short letter, chuckling at the explanation of how she had volunteered to ship the packages so she could sneak his cookies in, and she hoped the perfume wasn’t too strong, but there had been some wine involved as the group influenced her to spritz the paper. His eyes widen at the last line.

Look under your cookies for an extra special surprise.

His leg bounces as he holds another envelope in his hand. He can tell what’s in this one, the polaroid shape distinctive through the thin paper. Bradley knows it can’t be the thing his brain immediately thought about. For so many reasons, he knows it’s not that. It doesn’t stop his heart from beating faster at the possibility. Just the potential has his ears burning.

“Whatever it is, you gotta look at it before someone else shows up.” He mutters to himself, feeling unsteady as he slides his index finger along the edge of the seal.

There’s seven photos in the stack. The first three taken during what he assumes was the care package night, everyone smiling at the camera, cheeks smooshed together. The fourth is his family, all of them smiling around the dining room table with a picture of him sitting at his regular chair, his place set like he’s just running late and not floating hundreds of miles off the coast of Japan. The next two confuse him. Pictures of the plants in his living room, a tiny bit of Maverick’s shoulder visible in the one of his pothos ivy.

The last one takes his breath away.

Mary, in her yellow sweater, smiling in the mirror on his dresser. Her smile is soft, with a tiny bit cheekiness shining through as she stands in front of his bed. She’s wearing the pair of light-wash jeans that hug her ass just right, the ones with a tiny rip on the left pocket.

“Fuck.”

The photo floats to the table as Bradley scrubs at his eyes. A fully clothed photo is going to get him hard just because it’s Mary, and she’s standing in his bedroom. For the first time since the blackout was lifted, he clicks the new message button, not caring what time it is for either of them.

Wed, Mar 31, 2021, 2125 JST from: b.brashaw@navy.mil to: m.vertucci@navy.civ.mil subject: you sneaky girl

Hi honey,

Seeing your name in my inbox so many times made me smile. I’ve read all your emails, and I’m working on a long email to give you my thoughts on the highlights.

I’m sorry I missed our call - I’ll make it up to you as soon as I can. Promise.

For now, I just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you - I’ve been thinking of you - and I’ll be able to answer your emails now, but don’t stop sending them. I want to hear from you whenever you want to tell me something.

I miss you.

love,

Bradley

p.s. Mariella Vertucci, what the hell are you doing in my bedroom without me?

Wed, Mar 31, 2021, 2131 JST from: m.vertucci@navy.civ.mil to: b.brashaw@navy.mil subject: you sneaky girl

bradley!!

it’s so good to see your words!! (I would say hear your voice, but you know)

you got your package!! do you need anything else? I can send it with priority shipping if you do.

don’t worry about the call; Mav let me know what happened. I was sad I didn’t get to see you, but things happen. I know what this life is like. we’ll get to talk when the timing works out, and until then, I’m happy to read your words.

I can’t wait to hear your thoughts! please tell me March 17th is on your highlight list, I’m pretty sure Cyclone is *still* mad at Mav from the way your uncle is avoiding him. speaking of uncle, the other one (tall one) (Slider) (I now have to differentiate because Pete introduced me to a bunch of class of ‘86 uncles last week. why are they all so tall? Mav excluded, of course.) is going to be in town in a few weeks. might ask him for a copy of that baby photo so I can put it on my desk.

I’m thinking of you, too. probably too often considering how much I’ve been emailing you. I guess I didn’t realize how much we talk until you couldn’t instantly respond to me… now it makes hearing from you even more special.

I miss you more.

love,

Mary

p.s. your uncle (the short one) is hopeless with plants. why did you trust him to keep them alive for two months? Mav gave me a key (I hope you don’t mind, please let me know if you do) and I’ve officially been entrusted with plant babysitting duties.

p.p.s. your mail person keeps delivering mail to your box despite me calling. if you could check on the mail hold request you submitted, I would appreciate it. the lady at the Main Street desk is mean whenever I try to fix it.

p.p.p.s. Frank’s hip is healing nicely! did you know he’s not Mr. Hadcock? Eileen’s (Mrs. Hadcock’s name is Eileen) husband died about twenty years ago, and she met Frank on a dating site; it’s a sweet story. they want to have us over for dinner when you’re back. I said maybe - committing us to a dinner without talking to you seemed… premature. I promised to cook if that sways your decision.

p.p.p.p.s. your bed is comfy, might take a nap there this weekend when I drop food off to Eileen and Frank.

Wed, Mar 31, 2021, 2136 JST from: b.brashaw@navy.mil to: m.vertucci@navy.civ.mil subject: you sneaky girl

Mary, why are you awake? It’s almost 5 AM.

We did get our boxes! Thank you so much. For everything you got me, of course, but all the single Daggers, too. Everyone really appreciated it!! We’re working on a thank you for the five of you.

The cookies are incredible, by the way, they were in perfect shape. I think the individual wrapping was key. I don’t need anything else, you set us up good for this second half!

I still feel bad. As soon as I can bribe someone else - you’re getting a call. I’ve never been good at the email communication, but I’m trying for you. March 17th is on the list, how could it not be?! Who was there? Please tell me you didn’t meet Hollywood. Could you buy a bottle of Jack Daniels and give it to Slider when he’s in town for me? It’s for his birthday, let me know what I owe you.

I am begging you not to ask for that baby photo. You don’t ever have to buy me a present or anything ever again.

Your words make me smile, can’t wait to save all the photos you’ve sent me. And I don’t want us to be the people that argue about who misses who more, but I definitely miss you more.

love,

Bradley

p.s. Uncle Shortstack was supposed to trust Aunt Responsible or Sister Sass with plant care. I see that has not happened. Keep the key; I know you’re a good plant mom, trusting you with mine.

p.p.s. Adding it to tomorrow’s to do list. Feel free to sort through it and recycle all the junk. If something looks super important, open it and let me know. I know who you mean, and she is rude. Don’t worry about her, just keep grabbing the mail until I get this fixed.

p.p.p.s. Good to hear about his hip. I had a feeling they weren’t married, but I wasn’t totally sure, and how do you ask an elderly woman if she’s living with her boyfriend or her husband?? Dinner sounds good. If you’re cooking, it sounds amazing. Sign up us, tell them date TBD.

p.p.p.p.s. Now I think you’re just messing with me. But if you’re not, flight school sweatshirt is in the bottom right drawer in the dresser, remote is in the left nightstand. Enjoy my Netflix. We know I’m not.

Wed, Mar 31, 2021, 2141 JST from: m.vertucci@navy.civ.mil to: b.brashaw@navy.mil subject: you sneaky girl

Bradley, just out of curiosity, what time do you think I get to work? I’m literally always in before you show up at 6 AM.

happy to send care packages anytime; just let me know who needs what. no thank you necessary. (well, maybe a picture if you can swing it. lots of adults and kids are missing the Daggers around these parts.) thank GOD the cookies were okay. I was so scared they would be moldy and ruin your box!!! individual wrapping is the move, noted.

if you’re trying, that’s all that matters to me.

Cyclone’s face was so red Warlock was ready to call medical. or his wife. whoever would be more effective. I think there was even talk of SECNAV as a last resort. making a note for Ron’s birthday present, will even add a bow to the neck of the bottle, free of charge.

there was a whole gaggle of ‘86 guys. I’ll have to give you a full breakdown in a separate email because it was a wild night. how can they drink so much? I lost count after the sixth (seventh?) toast. I had to pour Mav into the Jeep, and Penny and I dragged him into the house. (dramatized for effect, he did trip up the stairs, though. thought Penny was going to fall off the porch she laughed so hard.)

I have a small crush on Hollywood. he’s just so handsome. but don’t worry, he’s too old for me. I like guys who are three years older than me. any suggestions?

it’s so cute that you think that would incentivize me not to get the photo. look in the cardboard box, Bradshaw. I *love* buying presents and helping people I care about.

every time I emailed you a photo I also texted you, once you have service again you’ll get a ton of texts from me. sorry. you’re right; we don’t want to be those people. but I want to point out that we’re not arguing. I’m clearly correct here.

love,

Mary

p.s. he’s trying his best! (probably? might be too afraid of Cyclone to remember things. plus, he’s kinda old.) (Mav, if you somehow see this, it’s a joke. you’re not that short.)

p.p.s. thank you! don’t worry, all the crap has been chucked already. I did stick the menu for a new Chinese food place on your fridge, we should go when you’re back.

p.p.p.s. she’s chill, but that definitely could have been a bad question. dinner will be confirmed, and we’ll discuss dates when you’re back. start thinking about what you want for dinner.

p.p.p.p.s. not messing with you on this. your bed is very comfy. (don’t ask how I know. Mav and I had a weird time at your place. it’s better to explain in person.) stealing the sweatshirt ASAP and I’m going to ruin your Netflix algorithm. will send photographic proof.

no more p.s.-es for now, heading to work. I’ll talk to you later. go to sleep, Bradley. dream of me.

Bradley stares at the last line for a while, not moving until the motion sensor timer turns the lights off on him. He showers, Mary on his mind the entire time. The cold air on the hangar deck just makes him think about cuddling Mary in his bed, snuggled together as she wears his sweatshirt (and only his sweatshirt) before offering to keep her warm. How she would laugh at his faux sleazy smile and pull him in, letting him run his hands all over her soft, curvy body. The freckled skin that would appear inch by inch as he slides the shirt over her head, kissing his way to her mouth, making two important detours along the way. The thought of how she might sound as she moans his name propels him to the bathroom sink for a dose of cold water.

“You okay, man?” Reuben’s whispered concern as he enters their bunk room is understandable. His hair is sticking up from running his hands through it, and his cheeks are red, his shirt splattered with wet spots from his aggressive attempt at calming down.

“Yeah!” He’s too loud for the room. Mickey twitches in his sleep, and even Bob, who usually ignores their antics, squints at him over at his book. “I’m fine! Mary sent cookies; if you don’t tell anyone else, you can have one each.”

Bob and Payback eye each other, silently agreeing to not ask about the frazzled state after the mention of Mary. “What kind?”

“Sugar. She said they’re unfrosted because she was worried about them going bad.” He distributes the cookies, leaving one on Fanboy’s shaving kit for the morning, before climbing into bed.

He flips and flops, trying to get comfortable before rolling to his right side. The low light from Bob’s bunk is just enough to see the photo from Valentine’s Day. Bradley lets his mind wander, not as far as before, just remembering that morning and their goodbye in the hangar, every moment in between.

The room goes dark as the WSO settles in for the night, but he can still see Mary. Her features are burned into his brain, her perfume floating in his nose from her letter safely tucked into the cubby above his head.

I’m never getting to sleep tonight.

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