#i didnt have the time or energy to draw something for this
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the fact that the process of writing and drawing is *at best* boring and exhausting is the main reason i cant motivate myself to do either despite actively wanting too
i finally understood people who enjoy the process when i started felting though, its actually fun enough to do that i want to do it even if i cant think of something to make (i literally just made a cube of felt yesterday because i didnt have the time or energy to do a real project but i had a Need To Poke Wool lol)
Lots of artists lately talking about burnout and how they no longer find the process fun and enjoyable.
And I'm over here like........you guys EVER found that enjoyable?? Was I supposed to???
It is not fun to do the work itself. It's never crossed my mind that it could be. Having something finished is great and I can't stop making things but the process required to have made something is just arduous tedious labor. you do it for the result alone, not the hours of sitting still staring at the same surface.
It must be awesome to ever be capable of enjoying a form of "work" 😕
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tiny birthday boy doodle!!
#my art#haikyuu#bokuto#akaashi#bokuaka#doodle#i wasnt originally gonna draw a lot of birthday stuff bc theres too many characters id want to draw them of#but i needed to draw something for bokkun#didnt have time to draw something cool and epic so little squishy it is#also have been having some sort of mental adjustment period as my schedule's changed a lot so#that explains the absence of art#(1hqaday im so sorry)#anyways happy birthday bokuto#obligatory akaashi bc i didnt have energy to draw a lot of characters but i didnt want him to be lonely#if i could i would have drawn fukurodani and his other besties so hes surrounded by people on his birthday#just imagine theyre behind the camera
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so guess who has a new favourite anime
(original screenshot below)
#i actually started watching it ages ago i just didnt have the time/energy to draw anything#this drawing's kinda low effort too i just wanted to draw something lmao#mob psycho 100#mp100#mp100 fanart#shigeo kageyama#reigen arataka#my art#screenshot redraw
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Trust is something that's hard to build. hard to get back once it's lost.
#lifestealtober2023#lifesteal smp#sorry for low effort drawing. didnt have much time or energy after uni today ✌#but still wanted to post something because i had to use that line#shoutout quix shoutout hsh script#evu.png
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*STARES RESPECTIVELY*
the one meme dress with the black, and the yellow chains on it
you know the one
The things I do for yall
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Its so funny whenever i forget that i can draw and then i make something and just go back to it for a few hours staring at it and being like ?!?!?!? I made this? How did i make this?!?
#i ramble#happens every time i draw something a bit more complex than a doodle#i mean i usually dont use color and stuff because i have very little energy in my day to day life#but this was fun eventhough i didnt have enough energy to put that mich into it
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the bunnysona has been made. tis me, tis helli howdy. They still got bad eyesight, love pretty lil rocks, and are very sensitive to loud noises and shouting :U
#my art#very usagi inspired or at least the way i draw him#and if a big IF anyone wanted to draw me or something related to me now you have this :D#i miss autumn#also another lil thing that i do is thump my hands or feet very speedy like when im excited or anxious#so i guess i was harnessing the bunny energy all this time and didnt even realize it lmao#Bunsona
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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bad end.
#OK OK HERE IS SOMETHING.#i'll probably try my best to regain my motivation to draw eventually#i wanted this piece of be a lil bit more serious. but meh. i didnt have the time and energy for that yet#YET BTW. YET#(art)hesia#arthesias ocs#glitched pink: arthesia vignetta (oc)#original character#original characters#oc#ocs#oc art#art#digital art#epidemic stellaria: artwork#epidemic stellaria: story related stuff
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Mr Gatto, do you like doing your job? Is it something you enjoy doing?
(Also take care of yourself Mun! :D)
Even after everything... I don't think I will be changing my job anytime soon.
#identity v#aesop carl#identity v embalmer#identity v ask blog#identity v the embalmer#gatto event#hi anon thanks for the concern XD#im doing alright i just have this insane depressive block that has been impeding y creative processes#so ive been trying a lot of things to get out of it#one option is to wait it out but im miserable doing nothing. so i will force it out and feel slightly better that at least i did something#i probably should have spaced oout my posts i clear the inbox really really quickly#ill try to get some stuff out while i can. since im free for the month before work resumes n i disappear again#seriously though its frustrating sitting down staring at a blank canvas for 10 mins with 0 ideas and low energy#and then resigning myself to going back to lying down and mindlessly scrolling twitter or whatever#every single time i try to do something i end up back on my bed. for days on end. it makes me want to throw myself down a flight of stairs#at least with asks i have something to work towards and thats so much better even if i do end up back on the bed afterwards#this sounds like a very pathetic show of begging for asks. which i guess it is???#its just that. i used to have so many ideas. i used to draw so many comics. i want to cry every time i compare that with myself now#has work killed off so much of my creativity? probably. but i just really want it back. so im trying my best#i didnt mean to get this emotional in the tags but this is really something ive been struggling with a lot right now#so if u have the time to spare. just drop something dumb in my inbox. it helps a great deal. much greater than i can express#but anyway if ur reading this im still very grateful for the support u have shown to the blog in one way or another.#so thank you very much n i hope the day will treat you kindly#less than three
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Been so busy with work I forgot to be depressed about holidays. Luckily I fixed that by getting off work early today
This helped tho
#big collector re: the beheaded being a nuisance vibes#which is why it helped because shit man its been like 3 years? and still have the good ol dead cells hyperfixation#happy almost anniversary for my first dead cells fic#anyway yeah im depressed and ive listened to all my comfort listens multiple times this year already#so i dunno what im gonna do to stave off bleak despair#maybe draw something? maybe draw something#i dont have a holiday comic this year#just no energy after work and i cant take the laptop and tablet on the train#sad but also i need fuckin money to live so#i am also going to make very untraditional cornish pasties#beef and not lamb and no parsnips because lamb is fucking expensive and i just didnt want to buy parsnips#hope all yalls holidays are happier than mine!#sincerely and honestly i really just want other people to be content and safe and to find a place in the world that fulfills them#anyway peace im gonna fall asleep in the bath and wreck my phone lmao
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#got the most vivid memry of how her hair smelled while drawing this lol#it really sucks to fall out w anyone . it sucks more to see almost none of the person you loved in them when it happens#whered the girl i wanted to spend all my time w even go . why did she start acting like she hated me#every conversation was like i was a tar pit draining all her self worth & joy & energy#every conversation was an apology for breathing the same air as me#and she just wouldn't listen when i said that i didnt hate her#she just kept going till she hurt me enough that i was sick of making her feel better all the time#its miserable to feel like you love someone so much and they just don't fucking believe you and they never ever will#i knew it was gonna go bad but man whyd it have to hurt so many other people too#whyd she have to destroy something so nice for some stupid bullshit she made up in her own head#i loved her so much . where did the girl i loved go !!!#bluh
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if you post less...... do you have a new sideblog perchance. a new interest
makin this sound like a rumor that i got a crush on a classmate !!!!!!!
#snap chats#like you know in school where mates'll be like ''OOOOOH AMANDA GOT A CRUSH' and amanda gotta be all 'guys staawwwpp His Names Brad U//U'#allegory aside if i do things will be as they always have. as in you have to find that out yourself LMAO#because my favorite asks are the ones where someones like 'hey wait didnt you draw This before wtf are you doing here'#like yeah i just moved neighborhoods sorry bout that didnt warn you lot#either that or just. wait for me to drop an art bomb on twitter vjalkjalkj#but Even If I Do ill still post here LOL again theres gonna be a summit later this month im tuning into#and undoubtedly whatever info comes from that's going to spark SOMETHING in me#ive been busy for a while though just cause ive had to handle comm and school stuff#and im reopening my comms tomorrow so. i may be busy Again but yeah thats why i havent posted much#i always want to draw and create whether its rgg related or not i just Am Busy and i get tired After being busy#i am human ... and it takes time and energy to make things so
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srry. i cant stop thinking abt that post. can we all. or. at least some of us agree that the moment you use the words "problematic media" as a serious and definable concept, we've already lost
#show me a person who only likes unproblematic media and i will show u someone who didnt notice/actively doesnt care about something#media is kind of like food where not everyone can eat the same thing. no two people experience the same flavor the same way.#sometimes even if the food is considered good it can cause stomach aches. and some people have weaker/stronger stomachs.#and its fine and normal#idk just. i dont believe in an unproblematic media. theres always something.#people draw their own line on what they can stomach(or are willing to support) differently.#and i dont think everyone will ever agree completely#dummy posts#but also sorry if you think a media is problematic for simply tackling serious and endlessly nuanced topics or media that criticizes#something by portraying it. you could also just do something else. please just do something else with ur brain power and energy.#there exists a place for media that seeks to slap ignorant people in the face.#but at the same time dont ever stop critiquing media. its good for ur brain and fun to do#what im trying to say is. dont just say 'its problematic'. critique it for its actual problems ok?#nothing is free from problems !! which is why you bite bite rip tear bite crunch bite bite!!!!!!!!! the media!!!!!! its good for you!!!!!!!
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fully off the shits. zeke's death took me out, man.
#i could talk about this for hours. but also if i dwell on it i will feel physically unwell#im gonna draw something relating to it and it will make me Feel Very Normal#i drew a thing when zeke died the first time and didnt show the group bc i was like 'oh this isnt Normal behaviour'#but now im like fellas. fellas. we all know im off the shits. my roleplay game is intense. i was on another level#i was on the verge of tears for the majority of the session and i think sounded genuinely exhausted and worn out#and like ya boi has energy! i had energy! but fuck man. i was in there. the trenches were real#florian possessed me for a hot sec and he was having a mental health crisis the likes of which ive not had in years
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'wow the vibes are rancid in here today!' i say, referring to the inside of my own brain
#live asto reaction#im like... actually brunt out i think like i said it kinda as a joke in my prev posts but somethings not right#like i rarely have all 3 tanks like art motivation/good art ideas/actually good drawings i have left in me run empty on me like this#i mean the drawing at every free opportunity i got for a month certainly didnt help but im pretty sure its more.. external than internal#for whatever its worth. like i just have like a million and one things i need to settle for like. school n shit#im....... far too involved frankly in my faculty's freshman orientation camp and its absolutely kicking my ass#its honestly not that much work im just super not good at it#AND ALSO would probably help to kinda. log off for a bit#eugh#its not all bad. ive got lots of make stuff with your hands hobbies i can fall back on. kinda#its just frustrating to be like the art guy and not be able to make art during the few points in the year i actually have time to do that#my semesters starting REALLY soon and it is. looming large in my brain#not that i hate school exactly i just... cannot draw and do a computer science major at the same time. its just not happening#idk my life is pretty.. horribly boring outside of this one hobby im somewhat decent at which is. frustrating!#ive only very recently started making my way up the dunning kruger curve so its kinda like. can you please just let me have this one thing#asto speaks#might be doing more oc stuff since thats ive found that thats the least... energy intensive? for me to draw but idk#i dont like posting my oc stuff cuz a. theyre always extremely wip b. i am so. absolutely horrendous at character design
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