#astroinn | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

galactic-blooms · 1 month ago

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[Massive TW for moderately sexual themes, depression, getting drugged, s/a implications, and victim blaming. Lime rating. Will probably delete later.]

Heavy, hot breathing.

That's all he hears- his own breath, muffled by someone else's lips as heat rushes through his whole body.

This feeling has him in a vice grip... just like the grip of his partner's hands on his wrists, pinning them above his head as he's pressed between their body and the wall.

It's not a position he's used to, but hell will freeze over before he tries to stop it. It's been far too long- After a good few days of feeling like nothing mattered anymore, this was exactly what he needed to get the edge off. Everything is hazy and a little distorted, but he doesn't care. The heat, the chase, the rush of moments building up- it's all he feels like he's living for, sometimes, like some desperate animal.

His partner- girl, boy, whoever, all that matters is that they kiss good- whines a bit between kisses. "Oh, fuck, Luiz... you're just as good as everyone says," they pant.

The name strikes him wrong, but quickly Astrion Luiz moves on and jumps right back into the moment. Little things like that have never been one to deter him, and it sure as hell isn't going to stop him now.

"Yeah?" he replies, pulling his hands down to his sides. Those few weeks at the gym finally seem to be paying off, no one could truly pin him... but, who is he to take this moment away from his partner? That's the fun of power play, being able to go back and forth. He'll be on their end in a matter of minutes, and they both know it.

"You been hearing good things about me?" Luiz asks with a smirk, taking the opportunity to catch his breath. "Clearly I'm doing something right then, babe-"

"Shut."

Their lips crash back against his, stealing away the breath he just caught, as muffled rushing slowly grows into the obvious sound of cheering and whooping, rising above the music in waves to urge them on.

Right. He's at a house party. Well that just makes everything more fun, he's always loved giving an audience a show.

Through the kisses, their partners lips drag from his lips down to his collarbone, eliciting a groan from Luiz and wave of bliss down his body. The audience watching cheers louder, urging them on to continue... something Luiz has no problem with.

"Ay, Santi!!" someone calls.

Luiz turns towards the blurry figure- again, no discernable features, just like the rest of the crowd. They seem to cycle between people he knows, but the person- a guy- speaks before he has time to question it.

"How much longer you gonna keep me waiting? Remember the dare, yeah? Or am I gonna have to get with one of the chicks here and just let you watch?"

Luiz laughs. "Listen man, I love watching a show as much as I love puttin' one on, how bad do you want me though? You gonna come take me? Use your words, darling, how bad do you need me? This could be you, right here."

Several people in the crowd internally swoon.

The new figure approaches, looming over Luiz and his current partner. "Come on, Santi, 5 minutes? You got a line of people waiting, it'll take too long if you two go the full mile."

He makes a point.

The figure takes hold of Luiz's chin, forcing him to look at him. His eyes widen- bold, dominant... perfect for a power struggle.

"What's the phrase about you... you belong to everyone and no one, yeah? You gonna prove that to me? Or does a pet finally have an owner and we have to wait to get a turn? You know how much I hate waiting..."

And it feels like Luiz is riled up from the beginning all over again.

He makes a tch sound in his cheek. "God, aren't you just impatient... but, fine, I can play around a bit. I always can."

The crowd scheme and banter around them, itching to watch the show to come as the new partner smiles- a clear, sharp grin that Luiz wants to wipe right off his face in a heavy makeout session that'd make Satan himself blush. However, his current partner suddenly grabs Luiz's cheek and forces him to look back at them.

"Come on, don't leave me hanging, we're having so much fun! We can't just do it now? Just for a little?" they plead.

Christ, Luiz hates having to make these decisions... but, it's easy when he remembers who he is. The title he wears proudly.

"Gonna have to put this on hold, darling, I got a lot of others waiting for me..."

Their partner's face twists in confusion and mild disgust, he can see it so clearly even without facial features... for a moment, he almost feels bad. "Are you serious?" they ask, voice distorting.

The music around makes it hard to hear much of anything, a disconnected amalgamation of songs he knows jumbled and mixed, slurred together like drunken thoughts. Still, he pushes firmly yet gently against their grasp, kissing their cheek and whispering in their ear.

"Hey, don't take it personal, this is just me."

"... This is just.. you? Leaving people behind to get a taste of others? Is that seriously the kind of guy you are???"

Luiz winces slightly... he hates these conversations.

"I'm not exclusive, babydoll, if someone wants a piece of me then they get it... I'm not one to 'dedicate', if that makes sense. I'm not exclusive... to anyone."

Their partner is silent.

"I'm still gon' be around, don't worry... you'll see me around, probably get a show. It'll be a fun watch!"

"And... if I'd rather just do you?"

As nice as it sounds, Luiz knows he has to decline. "... later. I'll probably be getting with a couple people tonight... this won't be the only time. Promise. But remember... I belong to everyone, and no one. I'm all your guys' toy. That won't change."

He gives them another kiss before slinking past, following their new partner into the crowd and leaving the other in a crowd no longer interested.... a sense of guilt wracks in his mind, but he shoves it aside. They're new. It'll be good for them to learn how things work with him, and he can apologize tomorrow when everyone's hungover and too miserable to hold a grudge. Sounds like a plan.

The rest of the night goes as most party nights do, as good as possible... couple great kissers. A couple not-so-great kissers who learn some things. The never-ending waves of bliss and highs that never were reached. The indecisiveness of who to get next. The rush. The chase. The thrill.

It feels like hours pushed into one minute, a feeling Luiz isn't used to but also isn't entirely unfamiliar with. Regardless, the taste of what feels like a million lips stain his mouth as he trudges through the crowd, an arm or two around his shoulders and waist, the remnants of drinks and sweat making his shirt stick to him as he fights to keep the waistband of his shorts up, hand fumbling with the buttons. That's a show for way later in the night when surely no one will remember.

"Think I'm ready for another drink," he murmurs aloud into the crowd. A tap on his arm notifies him, and a green bottle is handed over.

"God, perfect, thank you sugarpie, I owe ya one," he smiles, taking it and downing it in one go without a second thought. Gross, but manageable.

... Actually... why did that one taste so... different? Why was it bitter?

"Oh, no need to thank me, Luiz... just a couple kisses will do," a voice responds. He recognizes it as one of his partners from earlier, and laughs slightly.

"Awh, couldn't stay away...? Didja feel like you needed to gimme a drink to give you a round two?" he asks with a drunken laugh, gently pushing the crowd aside and taking the waist of the drink bearer. "Why didn't you just ask?"

The person laughs, their voice slurred and hazy. "Well, who am I to stop a beast on a rampage?"

Luiz responds to the comment with a strong kiss, one that spirals into making out. Their hands climb under his shirt, his on their waist, as their lips crash and tongues explore each other...

And suddenly, something feels wrong.

He breaks the kiss for a moment to try and catch his breath. "Whew-"

But lips are immediately pressed against his, stealing the opportunity for fresh air. Luiz pulls back again, trying to push them back as his brain spins.

"Oh, Jesus, whew-"

"Everything okay, Santiago?"

"Y.. yeah, I think I'm... oh, wow, that drink was strong, feels like the first time I drank all over again.."

Luiz laughs, as well as many others... but the sense of something wrong doesn't subside. He's never felt this far gone before... it's not right.

".. hey, hey darling- what was that drink you gave me?"

His partner, with an expression Luiz can't say is concern, tilts their head. "Just a beer with some vodka mixed in, why?"

"I just... something... don't feel right..."

"Oh please, you're overexaggerating... or is Luiz Santiago finally hitting his limit?"

Limit? No, no such thing. No matter how wrong this feels... or the gut feeling within that says something is horrifically wrong...

Suddenly, people yell out. Luiz stands up straight as he realizes he almost fell right into a bunch of people.

"I'm- I'm okay! Swear, just... effects of the alcohol hittin'..." he announces through slurred syllables. He tries his damnedest to believe his own words.

His partner takes his hands, slowly pressing him further and further backwards until Luiz hits a wall... their lips punch against his, hard enough to steal breath that he desperately needs. For some reason, however, Luiz can't yank away his head. Their hands tighten around his wrists and push him to the wall... and for some reason, he can't push back, no matter how much he tries.

The whole world around him distorts further.

"... what... hey, no, wha..." he tries to yell, only to be drowned out by the sound of people cheering as he feels a knee between his legs. Any attempts to protest fall futile to both the pleasure and supposed alcohol stealing the energy to say anything.

Everything grows hazy, bits and pieces fading in and out of black zones while Luiz tries to kiss back, all of his energy going into keeping his head up as the strength is taken from all the muscles in his body, heat and the muffled feeling of arousal seeming to turn his muscles and will into jelly.

There's no pain. Maybe some mental discomfort... but his body craves whatever's happening, or at least the last conscious bits of it crave this. He doesn't fight. He can't fight. The rest of the world distorts and blurs into nothing more than large blocks of hazing, changing colors as all sensation leaves his body, and the dizziness of the supposed drink grows...

... when all of a sudden, Luiz finds himself in bed in the morning. His own bed, wearing nothing but his own boxers...

But something down there feels terribly, terribly wrong.

He doesn't remember.

He can't remember anything. Nothing after... that drink...

It's all wrong. Luiz feels nauseous.

A puddle of sick suddenly spills into his lap... and with a cough, Luiz pries open his now watery eyes to the sight of pills and razorblades in the pile of some substance he can't describe. The clarity of the world around him fades again, as sharp pains on his inner thighs make him curl up. while the room grows dark.

No... fuck, please, what the hell's going on?! he wonders to himself, haze filling his mind again. This time, the sound of yelling follows.

"A party? The day before church? What in God's name were you thinking?!"

Oh. Oh, that's a voice he absolutely recognizes.

"... Mom, please, something's wrong-" he mutters, voice growing quiet and desperate for a comfort he knows to not expect. "I didn't... something happened-"

"Something happened? Good, you finally have some shame instilled in you... took you long enough, Luiz."

"Dad, no, please-"

"Whatever happened to you is punishment for your sins. Be grateful you awoke here and not hell. It is not our fault you decided to go against God's graces and put yourself out to the devil... you get no sympathy from us, you did this to yourself."

A choked sob catches in Luiz's throat as the berations fade into yet more slurred sounds, callouts of shame and disgust from some mixed with whoops and encouragements from others... all of which he wants to be loved by.

But that's not possible, is it?

The wrong feeling settles low in Luiz's stomach, a mix of nausea and lingering descent from a high he can't remember, the bliss and fear of hands he doesn't recognize crawling up his shirt as the feeling fades into oblivion, all other lights seeming to spin and blur around him...

And suddenly, Luiz Astrion feels himself shaken awake.

"ASTRION!"

He yelps as he awakes in a fright, clamoring back on the sofa as Gaia startles back as well.

"Hey, hey, calm down, it's okay, you're okay!" she exclaims, dropping her possessions as she runs to his side.

Astrion's chest heaves heavily with each breath, rising and falling under his cloudy hand.... wait- why is it under his shirt?

With a sudden wave of humiliation, Astrion yanks his hand way from his skin, face heating with embarrassment as any remaining arousal quickly disperses into pure fear and shame. He looks around, the structures and setting around him finally clear with recognizable details: the apothinn lobby, on a couch in a corner.

... Christ, he really just had a dream like that in the open? What if someone walked in and saw?

Astrion looks up at Gaia, quickly trying to ignore everything as a lump forms in his throat.

"S---.. sorry about that, Gaia, I, just.. had a bad dream, that's it, sorry," he mutters, looking down at himself. Clothes... that's a good thing. No way to see the scars below the fabric. "Um.. how'd the trip to Gideon go?"

"It... well, it's a long story, but, are... are you alright, Astrion? You look... gods, you look horrified..."

No. She can't know. He starts talking about it, he's going to sob.

So he waves off the comment. "It's nothing, just a bad dream..."

"About...?"

"About none of your business."

Both siblings visibly pause. Gaia looks purely taken aback.

".... f---, sorry, that... that was just rude..."

"It was..." She doesn't seem all that offended, despite her arms crossing... still, Astrion stands and stretches upwards, as if the horrifying dream wasn't anything.

"You think you can take the inn for the night, maybe?" he asks, feigning indifference on his face.

Gaia tilts her head. "... um... sure... are you going somewhere?"

"Probably. Radio's place, maybe. Just wanna check on him."

He starts to walk past Gaia, only to be stopped... by a hand around his wrist area.

"Hold on, Astri-"

"NO!!!"

He yanks his arm away harshly.

They're both lucky Gaia's grip was loose as it is, or else they may have had to handle the porcelain shards of what once was her thumb strewn across the wooden tile. She looks up at him, shocked by the aggression- a familiar sort of fear rests upon her brothers face, quickly contorting into a different sort of fear mixed with heavy shame.

".... f---, Gaia, are you-"

"Yes, I'm fine, but-"

"I'm fine, I don't wanna talk about it, I'll be okay, I just-"

He needs to get away. Now. He needs to leave. He almost hurt Gaia, he can't stay here.

But her face... Gaia stares at him with such a hurt expression, as if he did crack her thumb. She stares at him with horror and conflicted confusion.

There's no one else around except the two, so she speaks again.

"... Luiz..."

.... Luiz.

Who said that name again? Everyone, right? Even...

... who said that name again? Who called him that?

He doesn't want to remember anymore. Whoever called him that knew what happened to him, an incident he knows happened... but he doesn't know what. Maybe it was multiple people, so many people called him that,

But he needs to go, now, and find a distraction before the memories take hold of the fate he's almost slipped into so many times before...

"Luiz, please, talk to me..."

"..... I... I need to go."

He pushes past Gaia, speedwalking towards the door as she reaches out for him. "Luiz- Astrion! Wait!"

"I CAN'T BE HERE, GAIA-"

And immediately, his voice hushes. He yelled at his sister... more shame. Lovely.

Regardless, his final response is quiet and broken.

".... I just need to go. I'll be back tonight. Promise."

"Astrion, please-!"

.... but before she can continue, he's gone.

Gone with his own thoughts.

Gone with questions that'll never be answered.

Gone alone.

Gone with his least favorite person in the world.

And Gaia watches as the inn door drifts closed, her brother disappearing from sight without so much as a hint of what he dreamt...

All she can do is trust he'll stick to his word and be back by night.

But he doesn't even trust that for himself right now.

#dead dove do not eat #astroinn #cw suggestive #nsfe #cw sex talk #suggestive #tw abuse #tw sa implied #tw drugs #tw vomit #tw victim blaming #tw sh implied #got rushed at the end but im drunk so yeah

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