#i didn't want to put who was who in the post itself cause it would look untidy if i did

[ateliersss]

The Huntress

Pairing: Yautja x Fem!Reader Summary: It's the first time you and your mate go on a hunt after your pregnancy. Cross-posted on AO3: here Warnings: Mild Smut, English isn't my first language Word Count: 4.412 After the Blooming Family series

⇨ I wanted to post this yesterday already, but I got a little distracted as something terrible happened last night in my city.

⇨ The long awaited hunting trip is finally here! I apologize for the long wait, but a writing slump is the most horrible thing for a writer.

"Oh, come on, my little star. Say Mama." You pouted down at the pup in your arms. "Ma-ma."

Toyah, who seemed to be displeased that you had your hair in an updo and therefore couldn't touch your soft and shiny strands, wasn't listening to you in the slightest and instead reached up to your head with grabby hands.

"Mama, Toyah. It's Mama. Ma-ma." You tried again, but except for whine, you got nothing back from him.

A rumbling sound that could only be your mate's laugh caused you to look up with a displeased look. Mi'ytiar came closer to you until he felt Toyah's wiggling form press against his stomach and securely placed his hands in the dip of your bare waist, looking fondly down at the both of you.

"Yawne, he will not talk. Not for a while." He grunted, his thumb stroking your soft skin. "Took Akail one year."

"I know that. I just want to finally hear his voice, hear him talk." You sighed. "Remember when Akail started speaking?" You asked him with a starry look in your eyes as you looked up at your mate.

Akail as a toddler in itself had been chaotic, a whirlwind in his parents' lives, but Akail as a toddler who had just learned the ability to speak? It was mostly loud nonsense, but you found it endearing nevertheless. Every now and then, you could understand a "Mama" and, after some time, even a "Papa". You were mostly fond of the times when he would sit on your chest, hands on your cheeks, and he would just start chirping with the occasional "Mama" in between his words. That had been his version of informing about his day.

Mi'ytiar grunted in acknowledgment and his hand left your waist to reach up to pet his son's head. He had grown in the last three months, albeit only slightly. His skin had grown in intensity just as his eyes. His teeth were now tiny little spikes and the tusks of his mandibles had gotten sharper. The rest had stayed just the same. But his personality had grown as well. Like his older brother at that age — fast on his tiny legs, a combination of crawling and unsteady stumbling on his feet — he loved to explore his environment. Once, you had found him sitting outside with the Hell Hounds, even though you had put him to bed five minutes earlier. You didn't know how he had managed that and you had to hide your grin when you scolded him.

"Go?" Mi'ytiar asked with a purr and you let out a hum in agreement.

Your mate and you had planned this trip for a while now. You had been sick of it, doing nothing but lazing around in your nest with your pup as your companion to bridge the time while your mate was busy with leader business and your eldest doing his own duties. Mi'ytiar's overprotectiveness had reached new heights and you were barely allowed to leave the nest to go to the bathroom to relieve yourself without him hot on your heels. To his credit, you only needed one intake of air in one certain way for him to suggest the hunting trip before you could start your rant.

Now, you were dressed in your hunting attire similar to the one your mate was sporting. A metal chest-plate was sitting on a layer of leather that covered your body like a top but kept your arms and midriff free. The metal of the loincloth hugged your lower body like panties did while a cloth that was attached to it covered your backside, going from one hip to your other and was triangular in shape.

Everything was tailor-made, though it had been altered from time to time. The beautiful design, the carvings and the feminine touch hadn't changed at all, but your pregnancies had taken a remarkable toll on your body, with your breasts growing bigger and your hips wider.

The only thing that stayed the same was the wrist gauntlet adorning your right forearm. It wrapped around your arm, beginning at your wrist and ending near the crook, so you weren't restricted in bending it. You had a matching forearm vambrace on your other arm, though this one was merely armor. The gauntlet was a petite little thing and your preferred choice of weapon. It looked like any other gauntlet the Yautja used, though it was modified significantly. You only needed it to hunt, so most of the usual functions were removed.

Mi'ytiar placed a hand on the nape of your neck and guided you through the door and out of your home. After a short growl, the Hell Hounds stayed put. They had excitedly greeted you with wagging tails but now let themselves dejectedly sink on the floor again to lie on their stomachs.

The walk to the docking platforms for their ships was calm, though you sometimes cooed back at Toyah in answer who had started to babble. Here and there, you stopped for a few minutes because some of his people had to inform their leader about this or ask him about that, but you didn't pay them any mind. You only did when a Female approached you to take a look at your pup and you presented him to her like a proud cat mother would with her kitten. The Female chirped at him and complimented his development. You would have spent hours chatting with her and about what a precious boy your pup was if not for your mate to gently stir you away.

You stopped again at the ship that was readied for your departure under the watchful eye of Akail. You never understood why they needed to make such a spectacle out of it. You would only go hunting for a few hours.

"Akail." Mi'ytiar addressed his son who turned around to greet his father properly, hands on each other's forearms and forehead pressed together.

"My little warrior." You chimed in. "Are you excited about your alone-time with your little mei'hswei?"

Akail bristled before he let out a grunt you would label as a "Yes." It was more than you would have received from him two months ago. Your eldest still had some resentment towards your youngest, but the murderous glint had disappeared from his eyes since your little talk a while ago. It took him baby steps, but steps nonetheless towards a better relationship. Toyah was oblivious to his brother's displeasure about his short existence and behaved like he always did with his family, with happy shrieks and grabby hands.

There had been this one moment where you had coincidentally stumbled upon Akail holding Toyah in his arms, pointing towards one of the skulls on the walls of your home, showing him their father's trophies. Toyah, of course, didn't understand one word but was simply happy to be near his brother. You had to quickly compose yourself and walked backwards to not disrupt this wonderful moment. It was like there was a conflict inside Akail that told him to continue disliking his brother for what he did to you, but after your talk, there was a voice that told him to try, as hard as it might be.

You smiled up at Akail and handed Toyah over into his arms. He gingerly took him — you had to bite your lip to not comment on how he suddenly knew how to professionally hold the pup as if he had done it before — and looked down at his little brother in disdain.

Grinning to yourself, you continued, "I already fed him, but if he should be hungry again, go to Zakui. She also knows how to change him. Right now, he is still full of energy, so I would suggest bringing him to T'ihtuial who watches some pups of other Females when they're too busy. He will tire himself out on his own. And should he actually grow tired, then put him in his crib and turn the small light on. Oh, and don't stop keeping an eye on him." You said and watched him to see if he understood. "Don't. Let. Him. Out. Of. Your. Eyesight." You empathized every word because you knew Toyah would find a way. He was determined like that. "He seems to like being anywhere but where you want him to be."

After another grunt, you pushed yourself up on your tiptoes to place a kiss on Toyah's cheek and another on Akail's forehead after he leaned down for you. "Bye, my boys. Be nice to each other and behave, alright?"

"Bye, Mama." Akail rumbled while Toyah only gurgled a laugh.

With a smile, you turned around and met Mi'ytiar halfways who placed a hand on your lower back, his scales rough on your soft skin. Together you entered the ship through the ramp and he wasted no time starting the engines and taking off.

Thanks to the autopilot, making the ship fly to its destination on its own, you could easily make yourself comfortable on Mi'ytiar's lap. You talked, exchanged sweet nothings, and snuggled with each other. It had been quite some time since it had just been the two of you and without any of your pups. The only time you did have your togetherness was once in a blue moon at night when everyone was asleep. Well, when most were asleep because most certainly didn't include Toyah who, like his brother in his toddler stage, needed to spend even the nightly hours with you. It was exhausting, but thankfully, the only downside of pups at his age.

"Where are we going, my love?" You asked him after a while of playing with his fingers, stroking his knuckles and massaging his palm.

"Yiulk." He answered with a soothing rumble of his chest, showing just how relaxed he was after God knows how long it had been since the last time it happened. "You remember? You hunted Wikki before carrying Toyah. You really good at it, yawne. Very proud." He purred and fondled your nape, his claws playing with the tiny hairs that had already loosened from your updo.

You smiled with a soft blush dusting your cheeks, mumbling "Charmer." before sitting up with your knees on his knees and your arms snaking around his head to hold the back of it. "Makes me want to give you one more. Right here, right now." You purred seductively, twirling one of his dreads around your pointer finger.

Mi'ytiar was about to reply, but the nav started beeping and signaled your arrival. Turning around in his lap, you could see the bright green-colored forest planet that was Yiulk. There were no humanoid beings living on the surface, only animals ready to be hunted. There were over a hundred species living there, both predator and prey, and you loved the various difficulty levels those species offered. Some were as simple as a sloth and some a little harder like a cheetah. And they were so fascinating, you loved to stay back and watch them, study them. If you had the equipment — a camera, paper, a typewriter — you would write a factual book where each and every one of them had their own double-page.

You readied yourself for the landing and quickly exited the ship with Mi'ytiar in tow. You were greeted by a wall of trees, standing so close to each other, it was a miracle he found a landing spot so easily. You took a deep intake of air and were immediately hit by the sweet aroma that emitted from the trees around you. Mi'ytiar had told you about them on your first hunt on Yiulk and he had seemed rather amused by your amazement, which was no surprise because Earth had looked so dull to you for a very long time.

The ground was soft as you took measured steps forward and through the jumble of trunks. Your eyes were fixed on the dark, earthy forest floor as you scanned it for traces of whatever animals you would find first. The environment was ideal for Shuxxi. The air was humid, the trees were covered with their preferred moss, and if you stopped in your tracks and pricked up your ears, you could hear the sounds of splashing water. Your best guess was to follow whatever source it was coming from as Shuxxi loved swimming and deep waterholes were rare on Yiulk.

You continued on your way, slowly and quietly.

While your mate preferred the chase, you put your strength into stealth. Rather than barreling towards the prey, you stayed back and observed their behavior, even killed from a distance. And although Mi'ytiar's fingers were already itching, he held himself back when you climbed up the large rocks that had emerged behind the trees after walking quite a distance. You slowly crawled up and to the edge until you had an overlook over the area to where you had tracked your prey.

You smiled at your success as your gaze wandered over the small herd, from one to the other. They were pretty for something that looked like a mix of deer and sheep. You could at least discern seven of them, a male and six females, all of them nibbling on the bluish moss growing on the trees around the clearing.

You looked down at your wrist gauntlet and skimmed through the different projectiles. You chose your favorite one — spike-like arrows of razor-sharp metal that were the size of an unused pencil and as thick as your pointer finger. You lifted your arm to aim at the one standing the farthest away from you. You enjoyed challenging yourself again and again when you were hunting a species that was already familiar to you.

And for today, you had chosen easy prey, so it wasn't that challenging. They were child's play, but something to gain back the mobility and stamina you had lost during your pregnancy and bed rest after giving birth.

You were about to pull the trigger, your aim secure on the grazing animal, when you felt a warm breath fanning against the side of your head and a hand on the back of your thigh slowly traveling up under the cloth attached to the loin cloth. You wiggled your hips and tried to throw him off, but when you only got a deep rumbling back — a laugh, probably — you shot him an angry "Mi'ytiar!" through gritted teeth.

"Distraction. Typical in environment like this. Need to get feel for it." He only grumbled against your ear.

His body was now pressed to yours, practically lying half on top of you, with his face nuzzled into your nape. You could feel him tug on your tied-up hair until it was hanging loosely down your head and he could bury his face into it, inhaling your scent. His hand snaked around your waist and to your stomach, pulling you back into him.

"Concentrate."

You tried, but your arm had gotten a little shaky as well as your focus.

"Mi'ytiar." You said slowly, warningly, when you felt his hand dipping lower.

"Shoot, yawne." He growled into your hair and started to rut against your thigh.

You let out a growl of your own, used the only part of your brain that was still able to work logically and took your shot. Your prey dropped dead when your arrow pierced its eye, killing it instantly, and spooked the rest of the herd that soon took off.

You rolled to the side and away from Mi'ytiar's rutting hips. You gave him a mean look with glinting eyes before you climbed down the rock and quickly approached your prize. You looked it over. Maybe you could use the gorgeous black fur with red speckles as another cushion for your nest. You already had four of them, but another wouldn't hurt.

"You did good." You heard Mi'ytiar behind you.

You only needed to stand up and turn on your heel to find him looming right above you. You wanted to give him a little piece of mind after he almost made you miss your target, but he looked so deliciously feral right now that the words died on your tongue. His eyes were wild, his chest was heaving and the muscles of his chest and stomach were twitching and contracting. You wanted to jump him at this very moment.

"You know…" You purred and pressed yourself against him, dug your fingers into the flesh of his hips, and pushed him backwards against one of the nearby trees. "I believe this was one of the possible scenarios where we created our firstborn." You mused, your voice taking a lower pitch with every word. "Hunting, me killing something and then you fucking me against a tree, filling me up so much that your seed dripped down to my ass and on the dirty forest floor."

Mi'ytiar let out a roar, grabbed you by your shoulders, turned you both around, and pushed you against the tree trunk.

You groaned, but not because of pain. Whenever he would manhandle you, use his brute strength to put you in whatever position to his liking, it turned you on a little more and reduced you to nothing but the basic need of graving him buried in your depths.

Patience was never something for Mi'ytiar when you were the only thing on his mind and instead of going through the process of opening the buckles that connected your thigh-high boots to your loin cloth, he just ripped them apart and tore off the pieces of metal and leather that hid your dripping arousal. Your hands immediately flew to his own covers, disparately pulling and tearing on them to free the throbbing piece of muscle that must be hiding behind it, but Mi'ytiar gripped your wrist.

"No." He groaned and pulled your hands away.

"But-"

"No."

Mi'ytiar might crave you, but he didn't want to mate with you just yet. "Three months." Cahrein had said to refrain from mating with each other to let your body heal after birthing Toyah. Those months were already over, but he wanted to be careful. Your body was a treasure, so magnificent, so beautiful. He wanted to give you all the time you needed and more, no matter how tempting it was to see it nakedly sprawled across the furs of your nest.

You reached for his loin cloth again. You could at least please him with your mouth, feel his heavy manhood down your throat, taste his heady aroma, and get drunk on it. You were desperate for him and you wanted to feel him inside you, even if it wasn't in the way you wanted for months now.

But Mi'ytiar once more pulled your hands away from it and instead lowered himself down on his knees. He grabbed you by the thighs and hoisted you up against the tree until your pussy was on eye level with him, placing your legs on his shoulder until you were practically sitting on them.

You hissed when the tusks of his mandibles dug into the skin of your ass cheeks and pelvis as they clamped around you after opening them up. Your breath hitched when you felt his own hitting your already dripping and twitching folds, and your hand grabbed ahold of a few of his dreads, keeping you grounded both on his shoulders and in the moment.

"Mi'ytiar…" You mewled.

And Mi'ytiar immediately listened. The tip of his tongue darted out and gave your folds one, two, three licks before it circled around your pulsing clit. Greedily, he lapped at your leaking hole before he plunged his tongue into you, wasting no more time, and groaned when your sweet ambrosia filled his mouth.

Meanwhile, you were a quivering mess on top of his shoulder. With your one hand already seeking support by holding onto his dreads, your other hand had reached up and above your head to dig your nails into the bark of the tree. Your eyes had fallen close and your head had lolled back. Your thighs trapped his head between them and you used them to push him impossibly closer to where you needed him most. Your hips rocked against his mouth, seeking for more.

And Mi'ytiar was soaking everything up as he ate his fill. You looked stunning in this very moment. Your face was flushed, your mouth parted, lips glistening with salvia, and your eyes were squeezed shut with the occasional twitch of the eyelid. It all made him even hungrier and he started twisting his tongue.

"Oh my... ahhh, Mi'ytiar!" You moaned, dragging the last syllable of his name out into a long, high-pitched squeal.

When your grip on his dreads tightened before you pulled on them, he growled into you, the vibrations adding to the stimulation and making your back arch. His tongue drove deeper and the deeper he got, the thicker it stretched you out.

"Tanhì… I’m…"

You couldn't even finish your sentence. With a scream of his name, you came as your thighs tightened around his head. In the orgasmic bliss that hit you like a train, you faintly heard the pitiful whine Mi'ytiar groaned into your depths and, therefore, almost missed it. Luckily, you didn't and thus, you immediately knew. You could tell by the signs when you looked down through half-lidded eyes — his claws digging into your thighs, the jerky motions of his hips, the unsteady up-and-down movement of his chest from heavy breaths.

He'd just ejaculated from eating you out.

You didn't need to see the evidence dripping from his loin cloth covered crotch. You knew because it hadn't been the first time it happened. No, there was this one moment decades ago when Mi'ytiar and you slowly but surely got to know each other on an intimate level, step by step. You had explored your bodies and discovered the multiple aspects of mating together. For someone who had no lips and no mouth per se, he had made you cum harder than on the rare occasion when one of your former lovers reluctantly agreed to pleasure you with their tongue. And Mi'ytiar, who never had tasted the paradise between a Female's legs, came across the furs and blankets after your sweetness hit his taste buds mere seconds earlier.

"Tanhì…" You purred and placed your hands on either side of his head to pull him back a little.

He retracted the tusks of his mandibles where they had been digging into your skin, eliciting a hiss from you, and tugged them back to his face. You smiled softly down at him when he nuzzled his face into your belly, purring in content, and you put your hand on top of his head, your thumb stroking his forehead.

You couldn't wait until you would finally be able to truly mate with him again.

When you went back home — after hunting down the rest of the herd to bring food back to the clan — you were greeted by a grumpy-looking Akail who dropped his little brother into your arms when they reached out to greet him, wanting to hand back the responsibility to watch over the pup as soon as possible.

You had asked him if something happened and the only thing Akail said was that he had found the little parasite in the most impossible places, although he had just been put into his crib throughout the few hours their parents were gone. He had found him in your bedroom, in the bathroom, outside with the Hell Hounds once again, and crawling down the path to your home. There even had been a Male with little Toyah in his arms at the clan leader's abode, asking Akail what the hell the pup was doing at the landing platform next to one of the Scout Ships.

You actually considered strapping Toyah to your chest every hour the day had to offer at that moment.

You looked down at the pup resting in the crook of your arm. "You are a little troublemaker, hm, you little rascal? You made it so difficult for your big brother, didn't you? Put him through so much trouble." You cooed down at him.

You and Mi'ytiar started walking side by side, his hand securely placed on your waist. The ship you had used for your trip was taken care of and the hunted prey was being carried out of it to store it. Your mate offered nods to the Yautja of his clan who greeted the three of you on your way home, but his attention was rather occupied by you and his son who was babbling nonsense. Until…

"Ma!"

You stopped dead in your tracks and looked down at your pup with wide eyes.

He did, didn't he?

"My little star, what was that?" You asked, barely holding in the bursting happiness. "Can you say that again? Did you say Ma?"

Toyah was looking at you, beautiful yellow eyes partly closed from the — what you called, although it was pretty unlikely — smile. He was babbling more and more non-coherent stuff before another "Ma!" slipped from his mouth while he reached out to your face with grabby hands.

It may be just another random syllable mixed with the other typical chatter of a three-month-old pup, but to you, it was a win.

"Yes, Toyah, Ma! It's Ma! You are such a clever little boy, aren't you? My sweet and clever boy!" You praised the pup before you turned to Mi'ytiar with a smug grin while he looked down at you with what looked like an amused glint in his eyes. "That's two for me, my love."

He then watched you continue on your way home, listening to the receding exclamations of "Such a clever boy, my Toyah!" and "Already knowing how to say Ma!" and that familiar warmth bloomed inside his chest. It happened with every smile, every crinkling of your eyes, every caress of your soft hands on his skin, the sound of your voice.

He chose good, he chose right to have you as his Life Mate. Even without pups, you were an incredible enrichment to his life. The way you treated him, appreciated him, loved him, he could not have been luckier. And after you brought your two wonders into his world, it only confirmed his beliefs that you would be a great mother, too.

Masterlist: here

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[maidragoste]

i am making you feel sick?

Jacaerys Velaryon x Aegon’s Widow!Reader

part 2

warnings: this is pure angst, no happy ending, incest (aunt and nephew), mention of infant death and non-consensual voyeurism.

It's been a while since I posted anything, so if you like it, please don't hesitate to like, comment and reblog because that motivates me to keep writing 💖💖

If you have any ideas, questions or headcanons you want to share, my inbox is always open 🤗💖

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.

I hope you have a good reading!

Shame.

Guilt.

Sick.

That's what Jacaerys feels every time he sees you and Jaehaera.

He wasn't the one who hired Blood and Cheese to kill Jaehaerys nor was he the one who butchered Maelor. However, he still feels sick when most of the time your eyes look empty and emotionless, or the nights that Jaehaera wakes up screaming because she dreams of her twin's head rolling on the floor again.

Jacaerys wasn't the one who murdered your children but he still wasn't a good man. If he was a good man then he would have let you leave this castle full of bloody memories and be free with your daughter. But the council said he needed you to strengthen his claim on the throne as well as to prevent the greens from rising against him. So he married you.

On your wedding day, Jacaerys finally saw, after days, an emotion in you: anger. You were dressed in black, and when you had to hold hands you dug your nails into him and recited your vows as if they were an insult. But he was not angry or offended. He felt that he deserved it for having put you in this position.

The night didn't get better when it came time to share a bed. If it had been up to Jacaerys, it would never have touched you, but Corlys Velaryon knew him well, so part of the council was present to witness the marriage being consummated. It did not matter that Jacaerys protected your body with his and the sheets or how much he tried to make it easy and pleasurable for you. It was humiliating and it was horrible, as soon as the council left the chambers Jacaerys joined in your silent crying.

When Jacaerys thought his guilt couldn’t get any worse, you got pregnant. The entire council was happy because the king would finally have an heir, but he felt sick seeing how miserable you looked. At least, before you would leave your chambers and occasionally he could see you smile—never at him, of course, always at Jaehaera—now you spent all your time in bed as if you had no energy for anything else. Sometimes Jacaerys would come to feed you and read you some book he remembered you liked in your youth. Your ladies took care of cleaning you and feeding you, on the days the king couldn’t come to eat with you because he had a meeting or was busy.

Jaehaera's cries got worse because you weren't comforting her anymore, you weren't talking to her anymore. And more than once Jacaerys thought about ending it all, giving you the moon tea himself so that your body would rid itself of the creature that caused so much misery. He preferred things to be the way they were before even though you barely tolerated it.

But the kingdom and the throne were more important, he needed an heir. If Aegon's prophecy was true then from his blood would come the prince that was promised.

Jaehaerys prayed that you would have a child so he would never have to touch you again and make you suffer again. If the council asked for a replacement he would say it would be Aegon, his brother. He couldn't bear to see you pregnant again, he didn't want to see you so isolated from the world ever again, he didn't want the only thing you did was cry, that the only thing you seemed to feel was pain and sadness. He hoped that once you gave birth and were free of the creature, things would get better.

But he had to have been more specific in his prayers, he had to have asked the gods that the child would look like him because when he held his son in his arms for the first time all he saw was Jaehaerys.

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[mayullla]

Title: Creature's Infatuation

Character(s): Doppelganger (Unnamed character/original work) Summary: The servants didn't know that their abusive noble was switched for a monster that looked like him. You forced to marry him knew tho, that he created everything to have you in his arms. Tags/Warnings: Yandere!monster, fem!reader, yandere!monster x noble!reader, general yandere themes, manipulation, brainwashing, blackmail, forced feminization, noncon pet play, forced intimacy, imprisonment, tentacles, 1.2k words

Author's Note: This is an old one-shot of mine that I didn't post for a long time inspired the yandere viscount so it is similar to it.

You didn't know how dangerous monsters could be… that some could turn into humans and blend into the crowd and you would be none the wiser.

If you were wiser… if you knew what would happen to you… you would hesitate even just a little, even just a second to help anyone who you saw in need. Maybe then you would not be locked up in this horrible mansion after selling yourself to pay off your noble aristocratic family debt.

You were nothing but a slave to him, with his affection and sick love, he kept you by his side. Nobody could know what happened here when everything was covered by thick curtains and dimmed lights. The servants here were nothing more than puppets. Their minds, which this monster had eaten just a little bit, placed itself, done just to get ever so closer to you and keep you locked here. He manipulated their thoughts while letting them think that they were still human.

You glared at the mansion, you glared at him who had caused you this suffering. Yet for the sake of something precious, you would give up that aristocratic pride, swallowing it down as you begged him to spare your family from their downfall. You said that you would give him anything he wants. 

And all he wanted was you.

He told you that he would give you everything when he only did the opposite. What he said was nothing more than food that was taken away from you the moment you rebelled over the fantasies he had in his head.

He made you wear many costumes, dresses, and outfits, each and every one an arrow to your pride as he held your waist from the back dreamily looking at the mirror of you and him, telling you his disgusting and vile thoughts he was imagining when he first saw those clothes, how he imagined them on you.

The dresses that you usually wore were taken away the first day you signed the contract that you would be forever his. "Boring and lackluster," he told you. He would dress you with finer fabrics and silks that would make him excited to see, unlike the “dull and humble” dresses that you wore. It was unbefitting for you, he told you the first day, but you did see them later locked in a chest. Why he kept them, you didn't even want to know, not after you realized how perverted he was.

Gems and pearls of all kinds of accessories were also sewn into your new clothes. You were sure they would make a duchess or even a princess green with envy. He had gotten you almost all the latest trends that he fancied, which was almost all except the ones where much was covered.

Maid clothes that were more flamboyant, more revealing with a shorter shirt too short to even be appropriate. He had a particular fondness for lacy details, the more delicate the better.

Sometimes he would make you wear dog ears or cat ears, making you wear a collar as he cooed condescendingly, stroking your hair as he ordered you to get down and put your chin on his knee or forced you to sit on his lap.

Sometimes having you wear costumed shoes with heels too high to walk on. Barely able to walk on them, he would carry you, dreaming of how this was how a prince would carry his pretty princess. You wanted nothing more than to rip them off your feet, but with thick buckles and locks, it was practically impossible to take them off unless you chopped your feet.

To him, you became his pet, maid, princess, and whatever else perverted thing he managed to think up. Everything that happened in the mansion would never go out. The maids and servants didn't seem to care much about you, nor did they ever realize that the noble they served and some adored was a monster.

That the person they once thought to be him was long gone, rotting in some ditch as the monster took on his role just to make a situation that fits.

All they cared about was that their master had changed for the better, so in love with his wife that he shopped for all the violent acts he had done in the past. Not understanding that this was all wrong. Not knowing that he had control over their minds, that in reality, they were nothing more than lifeless husks made to believe that they were alive and that whatever he was doing to you was nothing more than normal.

From how he would lock you in a room as punishment, or how he would force you to feed him on his lap with overly revealing attire unfit for a noblewoman as he continued to be so fond of you.

Some days he would ask you if you loved him, loved him as much as he does to the point of obsession. The hurt in his eyes as he held you tighter asking what you wanted that would make you happy, "Why don't you love me as much as I do?" He would ask, as you watched tentacles move around the desk writing papers that were related to work. Tentacles that were connected to his back.

He pulled you closer to him, arms holding your waist tight, already forced to sit on his lap against your chest to touch his, which forced you to look up at him, unable to look anywhere else. Even if you were able to, it would be a bad decision to do so when he got angry.

Just as much as he loved dressing you up, you also have watched him morph many times, into something or someone else to make whatever fantasy even more real. The doors locked so that no one could come in, the windows shut so that no one could see through, and the lights but only from the flickering candle. "Do you want me to look like your lover? Would you love me more if I looked like him?" He asked, pulling your thigh closer to him, as you watched him morph, becoming nothing more than black goop to the man who you once loved.

The soft smile on his lips and the brightness of his eyes made you think that he finally loved you. It fluttered your heart but also sent shivers down your spine, as you knew that this wasn't your crush.

He was desperate for your love, yet at the same time, he was sadistic, forcing you to love him. There were days when he threatened you to stay by his side, unless you wanted to go out of the room or mansion naked, or face something worse. Your only choice was to stay there or hold his arm like a love-sick wife who loved him just as much as he loved her.

You felt gross, so vile, by this monster parading as a human and also forcing you to love him. But he didn't care, as long as he could see that you loved him and were by his side, playing by whatever whims he had in the bedroom or office. You were the person he had fallen in love with when he sneaked into the town of humans. You were kinder than anyone he had met. He had fallen in love with you that day and would do anything to keep you with him. He would even kill and take over the body of a noble just to get closer to you.

So long as you belonged to him.

[lightnersdream-archive]

i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.

(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)

because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,

(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)

it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,

it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.

(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)

she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."

there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves

there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic

she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect

i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way

it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."

it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense

this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though

she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it

by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands

i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me

she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility

she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind

but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*

[the-monkeies-girl]

have any thoughts how caesar or noa would cope with jealousy?

Love how I saw I wasn't gonna post but i just cannot stop myself LOL.

Caesar.

Comes across as being incredibly put together, almost to the point where he becomes deathly reserved and like he’s simply ignoring you. Which he is not. Caesar definitely feels the need to separate himself from those types of emotions purely for the greater good of the Colony. Jealousy, especially in his mind and seeing how envious humans are and how that in itself can tear apart even the strongest bonds, was absolutely a moniker of weakness. He’d rather be tied to a tree and left to die from exposure to the elements than ever verbally admit that he was jealous. 

Reality is, despite his cold deposition, he’s about to lose it in whatever situation it is that causes the feeling to rise in him. He’s slow to jealousy out of confidence, knowing exactly how important he is, which can cause some contention in the idea that he’s being arrogant.

You’ve asked him if he was jealous after he had abruptly pulled you away from spending time with Luca. He more abrasively accepted getting that wave of protective jealousy that washed over him like the ocean; especially when you’re spending more time with other Males. Just comes from the throes of the hierarchy. You were his. His to choose, his to tear apart and delve into, his to absolutely destroy if he wanted, the nature of his hands grasping at your rib cage as you wrangled under him… Caesar shuts his eyes tightly and thinks about that. His Colony needed to know that you were only his.  His eyes said it all and you didn't know how to respond to him after he flew into a small arm of defense. “Worried,” He muttered in that typical gruff voice of his. It sent your senses sky-high, “About you…. About… What others might be… thinking…”  His hands were fast to sign at you the things that you did not understand, about how his mind worked. Telling you things about how strong he needed to be, how his Colony relied on him being the best, being the strongest and that you were heavily mistaken. He was not jealous.There was absolutely no way. Tentatively, he asks for your forgiveness after he flies off the radar like that. He bottles his emotions, especially ones that were so human by design and he knows that you meant no harm by asking him if he was jealous. He got defensive as he interpreted you asking him if he was asking if he were weak and compromised.

Caesar, late at night in the nest he now shared with you, reflecting on his emotions. He’s sleepless, sitting up and looking to the right out the crevices between the planks of wood that made his nest. His mind pattering along with the rain that was falling gently from the purple-hued sky outside. This was not just his space anymore, it yours as well. He feels you move ever so slightly next to him, grasping at an animal pelt and tucking it near your face. His green orbs admire the curves of your body under said pelt, the soft rise and fall of your breathing. There was a brush of a bite mark against your neck. He huffed out of satisfaction knowing that he had done that, maybe two or three hours ago. He had every right to be jealous of others' attention on you, he thinks to himself while looking at you. He chortled to himself, shutting his eyes in some attempt to wipe his mind of the floodgate that was opened. One thought did give him a bit of solace as you moved, now shuffling your way towards him to press tightly into his side. He’d rip the face off of any Ape who even gave you a passing glance that tip-toed the invisible line between friendliness and flirtatiousness that Caesar made in his mind.

Noa

Has absolutely no clue how to even begin to process or cope. He’s not felt this before, so he supposed it made sense that he didn't know what to do with the sickeningly addictive feeling he got when he was around you. He did things so equally with Soona and Anaya, there was never any need for blatant jealousy to arise. Well… Until you came stumbling into his life and then it happened at the most random of all moments. 

You smiling at Anaya? Absolutely feral. Noa would watch your mouth pull back before looking at his friend and then back to you. He wanted to make you smile like that. It should be towards him, he thinks almost gagging at the self-entitlement. Noa was not comfortable with that. He often fell by the waist side for everyone else’s well being. Why was he suddenly concerned so greatly with how you were reacting to others?

You getting a compliment from Soona? He wanted to give you a compliment more. He wanted to tell you things that got your heart to race, your blood to pound, your legs to fall under him as your arousal hit him, matching in crept intensity. He wanted it all.

If he notices you spending more time with others, male or female, Noa tends to gravitate towards you and stick around like metaphorical glue. The closer he is to you, he figured, the easier it was to bide his time for your attention. He’s not quite sure of how to interpret the feeling he gets when he looks at you, the way your expressions changed around others, the delicious way you threw your head back in laughter giving a wonderful display of your jugular that drew Noa’s attention almost every single time. A wash of aggressive thought would hit him and he’d love to know what that hot skin would feel like against his face. Against his teeth, marking you as his own so others were well aware to back off.  

Once the anger would teeter down, Noa was often left wondering if you’d ever smile at him like that personally. Give him the light of day, give him your undivided mind and body. Noa does very little to stop his thoughts from going off the charts and delves into the prospect of making you his own just to cure his vile curiosity if you would accept satisfaction from him. Accept his soothing. Accept him to be your mate; he felt like he was going to come undone physically just imagining that. How you must feel under his rough hands, how you would gasp at him, hands in his fur, how you would smile longingly at him as he returned from a hunting trip, pressing his head gently against your own before proceeding back to the nest you came to share... These were things he had seen other Apes doing, he wanted to experience with you. He tries to keep himself grounded while watching you and takes meager solace when you would look at him, pay attention to him. Do anything... Towards him. His jealousy would slowly dissipate with time and Noa often found himself falling into a minor state of meloncholy thinking about the prospects he had in front of him and how the only one he seemed so adversely invested in being his advancements with you.

[xhoneygirlxx]

Watermelon Sugar

Eddie Munson x Fem Reader

summary: Eddie shows you the eight wonder of the world. his mouth.

warnings: reader and eddie are 18+, established relationship, fluff, Eddie being a munch. nicknames/pet names used (baby, honey, sweetheart, etc.) MINORS DNI 18+ smut: fem oral receiving, blowjobs mentioned, talks of past sexual experiences, praise/body worship, swearing. *Skin Color/Ethnicity not mentioned! not proofread, spelling errors and horrible writing.

if I miss anything plz lmk!

a/n: hello my loves! thank you all for the kind words and reactions on my last couple of posts! as you all know smut is not my forte but I felt the need to write this. am I projecting??? maybe but we’re gonna pretend that i'm not :)

The low hum of Steve Nicks’ voice plays through Eddie’s room, the soundtrack of your makeout session with your boyfriend. Orange glow from the late afternoon sun comes through the window, an angelic glow casting around the frizz of the mentalhead’s hair.

It started as an innocent day, hanging out together in a comfortable silence in his room. Him doodling in his notebook and you flipping through one of his old comic books. Somewhere along the way a featherlight touch turned into shared giggles, sitting in his lap turned into a chaste kiss, and it ended up with him in between your parted knees, kissing like his life depended on it.

A curtain of curls block out the skylight, tender lips on yours like melted honey, and big hands roaming down the expanse of your body. When Eddie moves away from your mouth, he takes the oxygen from your lungs with him and you whimper at the loss.

"Gonna let me have a taste of you, pretty girl?" Big doe eyes shine down to you, way too eager and excited. Your stomach twists into knots, the training you put yourself through in case of this moment, has all been for nothing. What do you say to the man that hovers over you with so much love in his eyes?

"How about I suck you off instead, hmm?" You try to come off as sensual but instead you sound scared.

It's an offer that you've made so many times over the short course of your relationship with Eddie. This was your first real relationship besides the eight grade love affair you had with Simon Willard. That only lasted a week.

You weren't anywhere near a virgin, that so called sacred part of yourself is now in the possession of a random boy you met on vacation before your senior year. Hookups weren't uncommon to you but what was uncommon to you was the affection you received during the sex.

People you've hooked up with never really cared to get you nice and ready the way Eddie does, prepping you with two or more fingers, working you open so that it doesn't hurt going in. Guys didn't care if you got off or not, they were just looking for a hole to fill and someone who wouldn't get clingy.

You had guy friends, including Eddie before you started dating, and you heard the horror stories they had of going down on a girl. It was never in mean spirit, although the discussion should've stayed in the bedroom, but it still scared you shitless. How one girl didn't properly take care of herself, causing the smell to be rancid. This girl didn't wipe the right way, leaving scraps of toilet paper down there. And the one that really settled itself into your brain, was how good or bad a girl tasted.

Of course you, and all of your guy friends, knew that girls didn't taste like ice cream, or strawberries, or candy. It was made up, another bullshit beauty standard for woman to worry about.

You had paid attention to the way guys would ask you if you wanted it done. The way they would sigh and roll their eyes like it was the biggest task of their lives. You would end up telling them that you're more of a giver than receiver, and that you just weren't interested in that whole thing. When they would release a breath of relief you would fill with shame, almost like you were the one who requested it to be done and had been turned down. The embarrassment of rejection you didn't even ask for.

So when you and Eddie first had sex as boyfriend and girlfriend, you made it your mission to never let that horrid question come from his mouth. You always made sure to offer him head first, and if it looked like he was about to ask, you'd simply tell him you couldn't wait anymore.

Now here you are, under him, ready and willing to take him in your mouth, and he's gotten the question out before you could beat him to the punch.

"Ya know I will never say no to that, sweetheart. But-"

Uh oh. That's the word that comes before a life or death sentence. It's hanging heavy over you, the once comfortable silence is now killing you. Squeezing all of the air out of your body, limbs going numb with the loss of circulation, all the while your ears ring like an explosion has gone off.

"I want to return the favor." It's so sincere when he says it and it makes you want to cry. A boyish smile taking over his mouth, deep dimples appearing on the fat of his cheeks.

You must look like you've seen a ghost because the pretty smile that was written on his face is now taken over by worry.

"I mean, I don't have to. It's just- I feel like," Eddie's a panicked mess, backing his face further away from your own. The small bubble of love that the two of you created has now been popped with your own doubts and fears.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable, I just thought I could make you feel good s'all." The confident man that you know all too well is now reduced to a fumbling and anxious person. His fingers work at the chunky silver ring on his finger, twisting and twisting and twisting it around.

"You just always, I don't know. It just always seems like you never ask for head and I just wanted to offer it to you, I guess."

The whiskey eyes that never left your gaze won't even look at you anymore. Focusing on that damn ring that goes faster and faster the longer you wait to respond. You want to run and hide. Dig a deep hole and never come out. Your lovely boyfriend who's done nothing but treat you like the queen of the goddamn universe, now thinks he's made you uncomfortable.

Embarrassment rushes through your veins, throat closing with the grip of shame making it harder to breathe. Tears prick your eyes, hot and heavy, ready to fall at the drop of a dime. You feel so guilty for not just telling him the truth, for not saying all the concerns that you had. Even before you started dating Eddie always confided in you, telling you the deepest secrets that kept him up at night and you couldn't even tell him this one thing.

"I'm embarrassed." It comes out in a sniffle, lip wobbling beneath the teeth that hold it down, trying to make it go away.

"I'm just embarrassed I won't be good. That I'll be another conversation for you and the boys to drink to. Will I taste good? Do I smell weird? Does it look pretty? All of these questions circle my brain and I'm so fucking scared that you won't like me anymore." It comes out like word vomit, so fast and uneven in tone that you're not sure if it even made sense.

You don't have time to think it over anyway, Eddie's too quick putting his hands on your cheeks, gently making you look up at him. The same kind eyes that you always see meet yours. Thumbs gentle swipe the fat tears off of your face, his cold hands extinguish the flames of your skin.

"Honey, I promise you I would never, ever do some dumb shit like that. What the guys and I talk about is irrelevant, half the time they don't even know what they're talking about. I felt the same way when you wanted to suck me off the first time, every single question you ask yourself is what I ask myself." Eddie's eyes are searching yours, looking and waiting to see the dread leave your head.

"Like I said before, I would never want you to be uncomfortable but if you're okay with it, I'd really," He places a gentle kiss on your forehead, "really," he continues to place more delicate kisses around your face, "really love to make you feel so fucking good."

When he's done, he looks back down to you with a dopey smile, he's low and hazy drunk off of you. A smile tugs on your own lips, so warm and fuzzy off of him. You know he means it and you feel sad that you even questioned him. Childish laughter rings out between the two of you when he pinches your sides, tickling out the stiffness in your body.

When the laughter dies down, he asks you again by cocking his eyebrow up in question. Nodding your head, you give him a confident yes, something you didn't feel the first time he asked.

Moving down your body, trails of kisses are left on your skin, mapping out his journey to your center. When he reaches the hem of your pants, he looks up to you once more waiting for a reply. Encouraging him to go further, his chilled fingers douses the warmth radiating off of you.

Leaving you only in your polka dot designed panties, Eddie teases you by running his fingers up and down your thighs.

"I gotta say bub, I love the pink dots. Top notch fashion if I don't say so myself." Eddie jokes and it makes you giggle. Swatting lightly at him, he returns the laughter.

"I'm not lying, I swear! If only you know what you do to me." As much of a joker Eddie is, he was never one to joke about your beauty. He found everything you did, said, and wore so fucking breathtaking and flawless, he'd probably get hard from the sight of you in a Tin Man costume.

"If you, at any time, want me to stop just tell me. I won't get mad, just let me know, okay?" Eyebrows scrunched with seriousness, Eddie makes sure to be loud and clear with his instructions.

"I promise, Eds." You say and he takes that as the green light.

Eddie's index finger teases your cloth slit, running up and down so slowly it feels like torture. When you lift your hips looking for more friction he snorts lightly.

"Patience, my love." His fingers continue to dance over your panties, running back to the top of the band and pulling them down in a swift motion.

When the cool air hits your wet seat, you whimper slightly at the feeling. Eddie has seen your pussy multiple times, but when he spreads it with his fingers, you can't help but feel shy, closing your legs around his arm.

"Don't go shy on me, baby. I just wanna see the prettiest picture I've ever seen." His eyes are still trained on the glistening of your sex, glimmering like bright pools of water.

It feels like an hour of no movement from Eddie before he goes to change his position between your legs. Shuffling back on his knees, he picks your thighs up to place on his shoulders as he lays on his stomach.

Still having doubts, you lean up on your elbows, watching your boyfriend to see what his reaction is. To your surprise, he looks like a kid in a candy store, awe and wonder swimming around in the big brown pools of his eyes.

When an obscene sniff rings through the air, you can't help but cringe a little. Waiting for him to look repulsed, you're again astonished when all your met with is a feral look.

Very tentatively, he runs his flat tongue from your hole to the top of your clit. Moaning deeply, he moves his gave up to you. A smirk breaks out on his features, so devilishly and mischievously.

"Oh baby, you have no fucking clue how good you taste." There is no questioning in his cadence. It's smug and cocky and it makes you shiver with need.

Repeating his motions from before, you mewl at the feeling, lifting your hips again. The chuckle that comes from Eddie vibrates off of you, make you move you squirm. Reaching his strong hands around your thighs, he holds you in place with his firm grip.

When the wet muscle breaches your needy hole, you fall back onto the bed moaning out in pleasure. He works your open with it, flicking it in and out efficiently.

Pulling out of you, he moves up to your bundle of nerves. Starting slowly, he circles around once or twice, before working it in figure eights.

You melt into the bed like a popsicle on a hot summers day. There's not a single thought in your head other than the feeling of his mouth. You're a livewire come to life, so sensitive and lost in the haze of pleasure.

You think this is the precipice of ecstasy but then one of his thick fingers enter you and his mouth sucks hard on your pulsing clit.

It feels like fireworks on the fourth of July, bright and explosive, big loud bangs ringing out into the night sky. It's like the feeling of going down the big drop on a rollercoaster, tingling deep in your belly and a rush of adrenaline pumping through your veins. It's like winning first place, heartwarming and shocking all at the same time.

You feel all these things at the same time, every single one of them caused by the actions of your boyfriends mouth. It's overwhelming and so fucking delicious but you can't say anything than cry out in bliss.

Letting go of your clit with a pop, Eddie's head pokes up at you like an excited puppy. "S'it feel good baby?" You want to answer, you really do but the way he sneaks a second finger into you and crooks them at the perfect angle makes you lose all motor skills.

"Awe, honey" he coos mockingly, "Is it that good?"

"S'good Eds, so good." You're a blubbering, crying mess. So hooked on the feeling of him, hooking on the feeling of how he made you feel.

He doesn't say anything else, too busy pushing his face back between your legs. His motions go faster, fingers hitting that sweet spot inside of you that he only managed to find, his mouth switching between motions, driving you closer to the edge as he does.

The string in your belly is pulling tighter and tighter, barley hanging together by a thread. You're a thrashing, sweaty mess on his bed, gripping the pillow underneath your head that your knuckles will probably be stuck in that position. You don't care, not when he's moving his head back and forth, slurping up your wetness like a handmade milkshake.

It's filthy, down right dirty the way it sounds. The noises that carry out into his room echo so loud the neighbors could probably hear. The squelch of your wetness being pounded into by his hand, the way he's drinking you up like a dehydrated plant, the moans that escape out of your parted lips.

"Eddie, please. FUCK, please." You're blathering at him, not even sure at what you're asking for.

Separating himself from you again, he continues working his fingers deep into you.

"You wanna cum, pretty girl? S'that it? Wanna cum all over my fingers?" You moan louder in response, clenching around him harder as you do.

"Go ahead, be a good good and cum for me. Come on, honey. Cum for me." That's all you need to hear before you're hurtling off the edge of your release.

You release with a silent cry, all the air being punched right out of you. Your body feels weightless, like you were thrown up into the clouds and not being able to come down.

Your whole body shakes, tears streaming down your face, all while your hole pulses and quivers around Eddie's fingers. A gush of wetness coats his fingers, a big puddle under your ass, leaving another stain on his bed seats.

He watches in awe as you hit your peak, how your back arches off of the bed and how you look so fucking perfect like this. The shy girl that never got experience this kind joy, now swims in the ocean of euphoria of the climax. He feels so lucky to witness this, to be the first and last person to ever see you this vulnerable.

Eddie wishes he could paint this moment, make a portrait of the way your kiss bitten lips form the perfect O, make the brushstrokes of your hair and some of it sticks to your sweaty face. You're so beautiful and he doesn't know how blessed to be yours.

When you float back down to earth, to the springy mattress of Eddie's, you take a moment to catch your breath. When he removes his fingers from you, you weakly hiss from movement and he offers a quiet sorry.

Moving back up to his knees, he hovers over you and smiles brightly down at you. Smiling weakly back at you, he uses the hand that's not supporting his weight to place it on your jaw. His thumb brushes back and forth and you melt right into it.

"How was that?" Pink tints his cheeks, grinning ear to ear.

You chuckle weakly, shaking your head in disbelief.

"I think I went to outer space for a second there."

A booming laugh leaves his chest and it makes you smile even harder. Your heart feels so full and so happy. You're so in love with him and it makes you delirious. You want to see him like this for the rest of your life, big smiles and even big laughter, so pretty and delicate only for you.

"Well I'm glad you enjoyed yourself there, space cadet." Leaning down to press his lips to yours, your soak in the feeling of it. When he moves away you pout at him, and he bops you on the nose with his finger.

"I was thinkin' I could return the favor, big boy." You whisper seductively.

"Oh baby, that sounds wonderful but-," He makes eye contact with you, "I need to be in you like yesterday because that, right there was the hottest thing I've ever witness."

"I happen to be a romantic. So I shall wait until my fair maiden is okay to resume our activities." Closing his eyes with pride, he places a hand on his heart.

Hiding your face with your hands, you bust out laughing at his little antics and when you peek between his fingers you see his teeth flashing back at you. Removing your hands from your face, you tuck a loose tendril behind his ear.

"You're a dork, but that sounds good to me."

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Thank you all for reading! I loves you all and hope you enjoyed!!!

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[mercurygray]

Advice for a Long Fic

Someone asked me recently for advice about writing a long fic, and I started making a list before realizing this was probably a post rather than a message.

I know I've said most of this before, and none of it is new advice. As with any advice, take what you think will serve you and leave what you think will not. Everyone's process is different.

-*-

Start a new folder in the place where you save your things. This is your new big project folder. You are going to save all the things here.

Decide whether you are going to write the whole thing and then post it, or post it as you go. There are benefits to both of these approaches. I am a post it as you go person, and I have friends who think this is the dumbest approach imaginable. It is whatever works for you and causes less anxiety.

I have a spreadsheet for all of my characters. While I didn't reference it too often while I was writing, the act of making the document helped solidify people in my mind a little. It was also nice to have in case you felt like doing an askbox game on a slow day.

Come up with a naming convention for the things in the big project folder. When your chapter is 'done' it should be switched to the naming convention. Mine was Darkening Sky - Working Chapter Title (for things that were still in progress) and Darkening Sky - 35 - Chapter Title for things that I'd finished. This helped me find things later after I'd been working for three years and would not have remembered what was in a document.

I personally like the model of doing a separate document for each chapter. This allows me to move these episodes around at will without the danger of possibly deleting a large chunk of text. This does not work for everyone! If you like one big document, use one big document.

The other reason I liked lots of little documents is that it gave me the opportunity to slot in other things that I didn't think were originally going to be chapters. When I first started working on TDS, I had a lot of flashes of ideas for different things throughout the whole story, and I wanted to get them down all at once. Some of those made it into the final story. Some did not. Some of them were written for one part of the story but got recycled into a different part. But they are all in the big document folder in case I needed them.

I also did something for TDS that I've never done for a story before - I wrote down all the different story beats and show beats on notecards and I laid them out on my floor underneath cards that had the show episodes on them. (You may have seen pictures of this.) By putting the plot points on notecards, rather than a list, I had maximum flexibility to move them throughout the story and could visualize over a larger space where the story was going. This also allowed the story and the characters to go places I did not think they would go.

Give yourself grace and time. It will not all happen overnight. It does not need to all happen overnight. The people who are expecting it to all happen overnight are not the people you need in your life.

Having said that, a schedule can be a wonderful and valuable thing. I was trying to post a chapter every two weeks during the pandemic, and then when work picked up again I scaled that back to once a month. The schedule was not for the readers. The schedule was for me. Having something to keep myself accountable was helpful to me to prevent burnout (a chapter a day, no thank you) but keep myself moving forward.

I am going to say something provocative here: There is Writing the Fic, and there is Doing Fandom On The Fic. Doing Fandom On The Fic is the "New chapter coming soon!!!" sorts of things. I would be very cautious about feeling like you need to do the second thing. Work on it first. When it is done, it will promote itself. (If you have already created the Doing Fandom thing as a part of your creative process - great! share that! But don't go out of your way to Make Something Just To Have Something.) There is a time and place for the second thing, and it fills a specific need, but there is a different and I would argue more effective way to do that, which is -

Find a Pit Crew. This is an endurance race, not a sprint, which means at some point you are going to look at what you have on the page and you're going to want someone to tell you that you are doing a good job. You're going to need someone to change your tires and change your oil and talk to you at ten o'clock at night when you want to rip everything up. This is not a big public server - this is one or two trusted friends who will listen to your bonkers AUs and what your characters ate for breakfast. Create a server for you and those two people and go have fun. If no one else shows up to this party, you and those two people are still having a great time, and that is what counts.

[mirai-e-jump]

Bakuage Sentai Boonboomger Photobook: Don't Stop the BoonBoom Main Cast Member Interviews (translations and other pages below, very long post)

Publication: February 14, 2025

Iuchi Haruhi (Taiya Hando)

-Taiya cranks up his mood without showing emotion-

Everyone wrapped up filming together. At the time, it really didn't hit me. I think it was about two days later that I actually felt it……

Over this past year, I had a routine that I set up for myself, where the day before filming, I'd reread the script for corresponding scenes, and always make sure to do a final check before going to sleep. However, I guess that's come to an end. Now that filming is completely over, I feel alittle sad, as I can actually sense that Taiya's fading away.

Regarding Taiya, when I look back, the first thing I was conscious of was raising my mental age and trying to play my role as a calm character. However, if I made him too cool, he'd be too similar to Chasshiro, so instead of expressing his emotions, I'd crank up parts of his mood……I put great value into those kinds of things while acting.

The first scene we filmed was for the first episode, where Taiya buys the luxury brand store. I remember I didn't know how to move in relation to the camera's position, and was just trying to figure it all out. Not long after that, I had the opportunity to film my Boonboom Change, and when I put on the Boonboom suit for the first time, I had the feeling of, "I'm a hero!" The other thing I remember well was post recording with Director Nakazawa's team during episodes 1-3. At first, I held back my voice in order to keep it in line with Taiya's character, but when Director Nakazawa told me to "make it much more louder," I realized that it was "okay for him to be in high spirits after the Change." That became one of the opportunities for me to broaden my perspective of Taiya Hando.

I'd been going out to eat with the other members since fairly early on, but as filming progressed, it was exciting to see the number of friends increase one by one. The first climax for the five Boonboomger members was in episodes 8 and 9, when Taiya rushed over to them and said, "This is the most…," to which the other four replied, "Cranked up." It was an unforgettable, passionate scene. I think this moment slightly changed the way Taiya interacted with everyone.

Also, the presence of Yu-kun, who joined us halfway through, was a big deal. Until then, I had always thought that the right thing to do was to act according to the image the professional Directors or Cameramen had in their minds, so I had never thought of acting based on my own initiative. However, when I watched Yu-kun, he'd constantly make suggestions like, "I wanna move like this, but what do you think?," and I saw the course of things change, as those on set would respond with, "Alright then, let's go with that!" That's when I started reading the script with the thought of, "As one of the people creating this show, I also have to get involved on set!," and my attitude once again changed alittle bit.

-A dream filled ending typical of Boonboomger-

In episode 24, I was also happy to have my special skill of playing the guitar put to good use. As a matter of fact, during our first meeting, the Producers asked me, "Do you have any special skills?," to which I answered, "I can sing and play the guitar." That's when the Screenwriter's desire to "write about Taiya's first love" was incorporated, causing the episode to materialize. The script doesn't go as far as to depict what happened to Mahiro Sensei, but I wanted to understand it in my own way, so I talked to the Director and Producers before I went into it, and I even imagined what kind of feelings Taiya would be having and wrote them down in a notebook. The subject of the story was painful, but the shoot itself was fun. Taiya's a character who I had a hard time getting into, but by depicting him during his childhood, I think I was able to dig deeper into my role.

I pushed myself to the limit towards the very end of Boonboomger and lost about 5kg, which caused some concern as my face began to look really hollow (bitter smile). Still, as a result, I was able to get into it and concentrate while playing Taiya. The scene where he conveys his feelings to the other four during episode 45 was very memorable. In the completed footage of episode 37, a flashback scene was inserted, the one where child Taiya hears sad crying in the next room, and I was there to observe the filming of that scene. I wanted to internalize Taiya's feelings, so I asked and was allowed to sit in the same spot after they filmed it. I performed the scene with the other four in episode 45 with that in mind, so I was able to convey Taiya's feelings clearly.

I liked the last scene in the final episode. I thought the reversed situation was good, as it concludes with us five who protected Earth leaving for space, and Sakito, who had said that he "abandoned Earth," staying behind. For me, it was a conclusion that I would've never imagined. I was really excited while filming our participation in the BBG, and being able to say the line "Let's get cranked up!" at the very last moment will always remain in my heart. I believe it was a dream filled ending, one truly typical of Bakuage Sentai Boonboomger.

Hayama Yuki (Ishiro Meita)

-I aimed to play a role that anyone would think was cool-

For my role as Ishiro, I first talked with BoonBlue's Suit Actor Yoneoka Takahiro-san about how I wanted to "make him a cool character by any means," and so we decided to aim for a role that anyone would find cool, from his gestures and posture, to his pose when he changes into BoonBlue. Going along with that, his passionate side also came out around episode 6. The Director in charge of each episode enjoyed those playful parts and would tease me about it, so by also adding in some adlibs myself, I think I was able to broaden the range of my role. Yoneoka-san gave an energized performance in the Go-Onger episode, but by seeing that, it made me feel that although Ishiro's a spy of the underground, he was longing for something "sparkling," and I feel that it further expanded my role.

The first time Ishiro's past during his spy era was depicted was in episode 14. It was an episode that showed Ishiro's cool, cranked up appearance, but I felt that if I didn't establish a solid "foundation" here, it would affect how he was seen in the future. That's why I was so fired up to film the flashback scene. I also received tons of motivation from Miu-chan in this episode. Miu-chan has an extensive acting career, and above all else, the ways she delivered her lines were very convincing. The sequence of events that leads to Ishiro being stunned as she says, "You want to protect the place that's important to you, right?!," is a scene that everyone needs to watch. Up to that point, Ishiro had kept abit of a distance from everyone except for Taiya, but I think this was the first time he was willing to approach another member of the team.

The next spy story was in episode 29, which features a scene where I Boonboom Change while fighting against Gong Grumer, and I challenged myself to doing action, which isn't one of my strong points. Also, I was paired up with Sakito. Compared to the other three, he had a greater sense of distance from Sakito, but since they suddenly got involved right from the start, it was difficult trying to figure out how I should treat him. Also, when Sakito says, "You didn't grow up well, huh?," he responds with, "My parents did the same work I'm doing. You can figure out the rest." It's a line that expresses Ishiro's dark past, and he tells it to the person he was most distant from. It was an important moment that brought the two of them closer together.

Episode 37 had alot of action scenes, and I believe I was able to get them done with the support of Action Director Watanabe Jun-san and Yoneoka-san. I think that different people have different interpretations of the relationship between Ishiro and Naito Konomi-san's Sutea, and although we watched each other's performance on set, we never really compromised on things. I hope everyone enjoys speculating on that point. On the opposite end, Director Hayama Koichiro gave me easy to understand examples of how the fake Ishiro would fight against Taiya, which helped me better visualize his image. What's more, for the action scenes involving Taiya, Haruhi stayed with me countless times until I memorized how to do them, which was very helpful.

-If you grab hold of your wheel, things will become clearer-

From episodes 43-47, I think some of you may have been on edge watching Ishiro's actions. Still, since Taiya said in episode 37, "I can tell just by looking into his eyes," it was properly foreshadowed. Although Ishiro pointed his gun at everyone at the end of episode 43, it's important to note that Taiya's reaction at that moment wasn't captured. This was Director Nakazawa Shojiro's goal, as this detail wasn't in the script, but since he and Taiya trust each other without needing to say anything, he purposely left out Taiya's reaction. As for myself, I think that the role Ishiro played during the very end was a great one. Mira's marriage is an homage to the first episode, and his return in episode 47 along with his partner, Boonboom Marine, made me feel "cranked up" when I read the script.

The wrap up for actors was the final roll call during the final episode, and we were all able to finish filming together. Each person's name was then called out on the spot, and everyone would cry. I was determined not to cry, but when they called my name, Producer Kuji Yoshito-san and Director Nakazawa came into my sight, and I couldn't stop crying……I'm not entirely sure if I was able to speak coherently then, but I was truly overwhelmed with emotions in that moment.

The theme of Bakuage Sentai Boonboomger is to "take control of your own wheel," and while it may have looked as if Ishiro had sold his soul to the Hashiriyans during the very end, I believe that he was able to steer his way down the path of victory by taking the wheel in his own way. In reality, things may not always go as planned, but if you grab the wheel without abandoning your beliefs, I'm sure something will become clearer. For us actors, we'd be beyond happy if you could take away such a message from our work.

Suzuki Miu (Mira Shifuto)

-I tried to be conscious of "Mira's feelings" when performing in the second half-

After filming throughout the year, I did have some vague concerns in the beginning, but I'm really glad that we were able to get through it safely without any major accidents or problems occurring. Also, after a year of working with the same staff, I realized just how much fun it is to work together as "friends" to create a production.

As for my role as Mira, I was told that she doesn't "take a backseat to the main character," but is instead the first character that the viewers can emotionally attach themselves to as the story progressed. I knew that if I didn't carefully act out Mira's growth throughout the year, it would appear rushed and unconvincing, and by extension, the story wouldn't hold up. In the beginning however, Mira was presented in a fairly fun way. In the script, her screams were written as "Piyaaa!" (laughs). That was one of the reasons why up until about the halfway point, I was more conscious of how she was being seen from the outside instead of from the inside. However, in the latter half, I tried to play the role with "Mira's feelings" in mind, rather than thinking too much about "how I want her to be seen." In that regard, there may be a big difference between the beginning and the ending. I was also happy that Director Nakazawa Shojiro noticed that and said that "I had changed up my performance quite abit."

In the very beginning, it was fun being teamed up with Chasshiro in episode 6. I think Mira's someone who can be paired up with anyone, but Mira seems to be the only one who can make teasing Chasshiro look amusing (laughs). Even in the scene where we follow Jou, I had alot of fun filming and discussing the details with Yuki-kun, such as how we'd hide ourselves by retying our shoelaces and hiding behind a telephone pole.

Episodes 8 and 9 was the first crisis that the Boonboomgers faced, and the atmosphere on set was tense and different compared to the previous episodes. During all this, I think it was just like Mira to vent her feelings towards Taiya at the end of episode 8 with, "Why would you do such a reckless thing?" However, I could understand the feelings they both had, and condemning someone for something you're not aware of was pretty difficult to perform. I thought it'd be bad if she came off as being too confrontational, so I played the role hoping to convey Mira's honesty.

-I love how everyone in Boonboomger lives their lives to the fullest-

There were multiple main episodes for Mira, such as episodes 14, 20 and 31, but episode 36, in which I performed with Mori Hinami-chan, is the most memorable. When she learns that Aki, played by Hinamin, had given up on her dream, she speaks her mind by saying, "It's frustrating….that unlike how Taiya is with Boon-chan…..I can't make her dream come true." I had discussions with Director Watanabe Katsuya about that scene, and I thought about it alot myself. Mira's story began with her easygoing personality in the first episode, but up until then, there were very few scenes depicting her being worried. Mira's usually cheerful and in high spirits, so I wondered, "Would it be okay to show her being worried?," but I think it's her worries that really show the strength of their friendship.

Also in this episode, there's a scene where I Boonboom Changed without the helmet, so I also played the last scene where the mask was equipped. I was advised to pull my chin up in order to look cooler, but I was pretty scared since my field of vision was limited and I could only see my feet. Still, I ran as hard as I could, hoping that I'd look cool.

I think the major event at the end of the show was the development of Mira's decision to get married, which was depicted in episode 47. To be honest, I had something that was worrying me as the story was unfolding, and I talked to the Producers about it. Even though she became a Boonboomger in the first episode and was working hard at her part time jobs, I wondered, does Mira have any big dreams in her life? They created this development based on that. I wanted Mira to have a dream, but instead, it's Mira's strong desire to help the people in front of her that helped her grow so much. I took this as a message that the staff had prepared for my sake. During the actual shoot, after she decided to get married, there was the line, "This is how I'll grab hold of my wheel," and just looking at everyone's faces made me cry……I believe that this performance came out because I'd been building up my role as Mira and trusting everyone.

Based on the title, many of you may have thought that Bakuage Sentai Boonboomger was a cheerful and upbeat production. I myself am one of those people, but with six people, there were six different lives, and now that it's all over, I strongly feel that the appeal of this show was that "each and every one of them overcame their struggles and became stronger." For myself personally, I have always and will always love the way everyone in Boonboomger lives their lives to the fullest.

Saito Ryu (Jou Akuse)

-I was surprised at how similar I was to Jou Akuse-

When I was in elementary school, I served as class president and was known for being a rather serious type of person. However, I wasn't serious at all, as I had more of a clumsy side in comparison (laughs). That's why when I first learned about Jou's setting, I was very surprised at how similar he seemed to myself. Also, my own father is a firefighter, so I felt a sense of familiarity towards his role as a police officer, as they're also civil servants. That being the case, I thought, "If I just honestly express all the feelings I've had over the past 19 years of my life, I might be able to become Jou Akuse." During the beginning, I went into filming with those types of thoughts in mind.

Jou's real role began in episode 5, but the first scene we filmed was in the first episode, where he gets wrapped up in one of Wedding Dress Grumer's dresses. It was fun to see his clumsiness immediately come out, but Director Nakazawa Shojiro had told me, "It's fine to make as much noise as you'd like." At the time, my performative skills were still lacking, so I was abit confused. I now have the confidence that I can make things more interesting (laughs).

I put alot of effort into the fight scene against Darts Grumer in episode 5. I knew from the moment I read the script that the action leading up to my Boonboom Change was "an absolute must." During filming, Darts Grumer's Suit Actor Imai Yasuhiko-san lent me his support by saying, "It's okay to go all out," and under the passionate direction of Director Watanabe Katsuya, we filmed with my entire body getting covered in sand and dust. That day, I went home and shampooed my hair about six times, but sand kept falling from my head (laughs), and even when I rewatch it now, I can see just how much strain I put on my body. Director Watanabe also helped me out alot in the episode where I'm paired up with Mira, but I think episode 5 was the starting point for me as Jou.

From the moment we met, I became good friends with the other cast members. We didn't have many opportunities to meet until episode 4, but after episode 5, I think we were able to join up smoothly from episode 6 onwards. I was happy to finally be able to film together with everyone.

In episode 6, he immediately gets involved with Mira and Shiro Senpai, and I was also grateful for all the opportunities after that where Jou played a bigger role, such as in the Kaseki Grumer episode, the candy detective episode where he teamed up with Genba, and the baseball episode. What's more, they were all crazy episodes (laughs). Especially for episodes 21 and 23, the one in charge of them was Director Kato Hiroyuki, and he's the kind of Director who'll constantly incorporate alot of funny things, so I also had alot of fun while getting into a playful mood. In episode 21, there's a scene where I interact with Genba in my afro hairstyle, and I thought it'd turn out funnier the more serious I performed it. I took these kinds of things into consideration when I performed.

-I cried so much during the wrap up, that I was teased by everyone around me (laughs)-

Episode 40 was the episode where I myself felt a sense of accomplishment. After episode 15 aired, I received feedback from various people telling me that "it was good," but it was thanks to Director Hayama Koichiro, who brought out Jou's appeal, that I as an actor felt the desire to show off even more of my performative range. This time, episode 40 was naturally made possible thanks to Morichi Natsumi-san's wonderful script, and Director Nakazawa and Cinematographer Kamiaka Toshikazu-san's strong tag team, but I could personally feel the growth I had made up to that point, and the line, "There's no such thing as a 100% perfect hero," went viral on SNS, with the great response from those around me also giving me confidence.

Filming for the last chapter progressed at a good pace, and it felt like it went by in the blink of an eye. During this time, what surprised me was Chasshiro's betrayal and Boon-chan's defeat. I had only heard alittle bit about it beforehand, but when it was time to read the script, I was shocked and thought, "Are you serious?!" And then, Jou quit being a police officer, and in episode 46, he was confronted by his senior officer played by Takada Masashi-san……I didn't expect things to turn out this way, so I had abit of trouble trying to wrap my head around the situation. It was as big of a situation for me as it was for Jou. In the end, the five of us left for space, so I interpreted it with, "I guess he's on temporary leave for the time being?"

The Assistant Director made the necessary adjustments to our schedules so that everyone would be able to be together for the wrap up. The night before the last day of filming, I cried all alone at home due to feeling lonely, so on the very day of filming, I thought I'd be fine since I cried ahead of time. However, when I saw the face of BoonBlack's Suit Actor, Shige-san, I couldn't help but cry. I was crying so much that everyone around me jokingly said, "You're crying way too much!" (laughs). Over the past year, there were times where I was guided gently, and times where I was guided strictly, but I was truly happy on this set.

Soma Satoru (Genba Bureki)

-From being a Procurer with a detached position to becoming friends with the Boonboomgers-

When it was decided that I'd be playing the role of Genba Bureki, I was told that, unlike the other members, I'd be "playing an alien." However, since I didn't know the reason why he was always licking lollipops or the beliefs that he held, I had to make detailed adjustments all the time while thinking, "I guess it'd be alright if I did this much." It was around the time we were filming the Summer film when I learned about the developments for the second half of the story, and I thought that his feelings toward Nicola, who was invaded by Hashiriyans, were different from everyone else's, so I was conscious of those expressions in my performance.

In the beginning, I didn't have much to work with, so I was trying to figure out how to say distinctive lines such as "Seems like you're in trouble" in a way that felt right to me. There's abit of a suspicious, older feel to him, and I thought it'd be great if I could add some expressions that were unique to Genba. The first thing we filmed was the scene in episode 2, when he receives a job request from Taiya. From episodes 1-6, he had watched them from a detached position as a Procurer, so I was very happy when we were ready to film episode 7, as he joins the Boonboomger's as their friend.

In episode 10, I was able to do some action before his transformation. I was confident in my athletic abilities, but the movements done by BoonOrange's Suit Actor Ono Yukimasa-kun, who showed me some examples, were amazing, and while I felt alittle overwhelmed, I tried to do my best. Ono-kun and I would both always talk about "how we felt during this part," and I was always amazed by the action I saw during post recording.

His destined rival Disrace appeared at the end of episode 26, and he left Boonboomger in episode 27. There's a scene where he says, "That's why I'm giving up my front row seat," and as myself, I definitely didn't want to leave, but at the same time, he doesn't want to involve his friends any further, so……it was quite difficult for me to perform. After that, I didn't get to see everyone as often as I would've liked to, and there were also no good opportunities to go out and eat together. That's why when he returned in episode 33, I was so happy that I couldn't help but talk nonstop with everyone on set (laughs).

During filming of episode 33, I almost cried when I said the line, "This is the place where I belong," and I was also deeply moved when Taiya asked, "What has the Procurer procured for us?" to which I answer, "Myself, of course." The scene where all of us perform the Boonboom Change also suddenly made me feel that "having friends is great." I was personally grateful for the fact that both episodes 27 and 33 were done by Director Nakazawa, as I was able to make progress while consulting with him.

-One thing remains for Genba, that being his important mission to retake planet Bureki-

I also enjoyed being together with Sakito during the soccer episode. We're both from Shizuoka, and I'm a Shimizu S-Pulse supporter, so because of this connection, we were invited to participate in an event by Shimizu S-Pulse in September. As for the drama, he clashes with Sakito, and well, fighting doesn't bring them closer together, but because they both love soccer, it seems like they let out more unnecessary feelings than usual. They had clashed before in episode 32, but I think they were finally able to work out their differences in this episode.

I had the feeling that the "end" was gradually approaching during the final stages of filming, but in the final episode, when their transformations are cancelled during the battle with Spindo, as we were filming the scene where they stand up while conveying their feelings, the feeling that "it was finally coming to an end" suddenly hit me. Here, Genba says, "In this universe, that's what we call love," but combined with the location, which captured the sunset, and the atmosphere on set, it made me get more into it.

The ending was a beautiful conclusion, but as for Genba, he still hasn't retaken planet Bureki. Because there's still an important mission left to do, it didn't finish with a happy ending, however, they were able to defeat both Grantu and Spindo and save Earth, so it was still a big step in the right direction.

Now that it's all over, I feel alittle sad since I no longer have to spend time thinking about the next day's shoot. Looking back, I really didn't know what I was doing a year ago, but I'm here now thanks to all the fans who supported me, and over the past year, through the feedback I received at events and on SNS, I was motivated by the fact that I was involved in a production that was loved by so many people. I'll work even harder so that everyone who got to know me through Bakuage Sentai Boonboomger will see a different side of me. I look forward to your continued support!

Miyazawa Yu (Sakito Homura)

-I was able to gain experience both as myself and as Sakito Homura-

When I "encountered" Sakito at the audition, I felt that he was so similar to me, that I thought, "If I fail this, I don't think I'll ever have a chance in any tokusatsu production." Once I entered filming, I was very happy to hear that Director Hayama Koichiro said on set that he had "wanted to film Miyazawa as Sakito." When he makes his entrance during episode 16, I played the role with the impression that he was an overly self conscious perfectionist, but as things continued with episodes 17 and 18 being done by Director Kato Hiroyuki, I was able to bring out more of his weaknesses.

During the joint reading session before I went into filming, the Director and Producers said that they wanted me to "act in a childish way," but I was thinking of taking my performance in a slightly different direction, so the most important thing was being able to create Sakito on my own terms. Also, I think that by looking for places where I could be abit playful on set, I was able to gain experience both as myself and as Sakito Homura.

Episode 41 is an episode that I'm deeply attached to, as I was able to incorporate my special skill of playing soccer. The "Pulse Ace" that appears is a play on Shimizu S-Pulse, but I used to be a member of Shimizu S-Pulse's lower division when I was in middle school, and I was deeply moved by the collaboration event between Boonboomger and Shimizu S-Pulse that took place during the broadcast. The story was rich in content, with its appropriate comedic feel, our passion for soccer, and my pairing with Genba, so I think the viewers enjoyed it. Among other things, the scene where Genba and I pass the ball to each other with napalm exploding in the background had to be done in one take, so I had a fairly long discussion with Satoru beforehand. It was quite difficult even for experienced players like us, as there was gravel everywhere we stepped, and the unique shape of the Boonboom suit's shoes made kicking the ball feel different, but fortunately, we got the OK with our very first attempt. In terms of the story, his clash with Genba reminded me of the sumo episode, and I also thought it was typical of the younger Jou for being so straightforward and acting as their middle man. That scene was effective because of Ryu's careful performance, and I thought it turned out to be a very good scene where you'd naturally think, "If Jou said it, then it must be right."

-The final scene where Sakito remains on the Earth personally gave me goosebumps-

After the soccer episode and Christmas episode, the final stages of the show had some dramatic developments, but episode 45 was the one that I put the most effort into. Bundorio stopped functioning, the Boonboomgers were split up, and Taiya was mentally out of it. During all this, Sakito and Byundi confront the Hashiriyans together……It was a hot development, as the man who abandoned Earth now fought to protect it, but in playing Sakito, I saw it as a "fight to protect his friends." If we go back to episode 18, Sakito said, "I just wanna protect my only friend and his family," but I believe that episode 45 encapsulates the change in his feelings from that point on. This episode was directed by Director Hayama, who also did the episode where I first appeared, and the scene where I pushed my way through the crowd and shouted, "You guys…didn't the Boonboomgers save you?!," was a direction given to me by the Director, so I myself also wanted to live up to the trust he put in me.

In the final episode, I felt the team's unity as they defeated Spindo, and I also thought it was wonderful that everyone's individual scenes were properly depicted. I hope that you were able to feel that high level of unity. And, the final scene where Sakito remains on Earth personally gave me goosebumps. When I first read the script, I thought, "Uwah, this is seriously good!" Living on Earth, the number of people he came to love steadily increased, and it seemed to match up with the way Sakito lives his life, so I'm satisfied with it. I felt that there was nothing wrong with the performance I had been doing, and I can only thank all the staff members for preparing and directing such a conclusion.

The last scene we filmed was our final roll call. This was the end of filming, but the show was still going on, so to be honest, I didn't really feel it. However, when the time came for them to address me, I couldn't help but tear up when I saw the large number of staff members.

I had been involved since episode 16, and was very excited to be in the position of shaking things up as the additional member, and I feel that the feedback I've gotten in regards to that has been good. The show itself will remain even after the broadcast is over, so we'd all be happy if people said, "Boonboomger was great, wasn't it?" We don't know yet if there'll be an anniversary project in the future, but I hope that Bakuage Sentai Boonboomger will remain in the hearts of all the fans forever!

Handwritten Messages

Iuchi Haruhi

"What was the most cranked up scene that you performed as Taiya Hando over the past year?" The scene in the final episode where everyone says, "This is the most cranked up!"

"What did you think was the "coolest part" about Boonboomger (or Taiya Hando)?" The parts were he wouldn't ignore!

"What part of Taiya Hando's "costume" or "weapons" did you think was cranked up?" The tool design of the weapons!

"A word to Taiya Hando!" LOVE

"A word to your Boonboomger friends!" I'm glad it was the six of us…I had fun. Thank you!

"A word to all the fans!" Thank you so much for your support over the past year! I look forward to your continued support!

Hayama Yuki

"What was the most cranked up scene that you performed as Ishiro Meita over the past year?" Bakuage 29's action scenes.

"What did you think was the "coolest part" about Boonboomger (or Ishiro Meita)?" His activities as an Informant.

"What part of Ishiro Meita's "costume" or "weapons" did you think was cranked up?" His three piece suit and necktie that would change every episode. That you could turn the Boonboom Handle with just one hand!

"A word to Ishiro Meita!" I love you.

"A word to your Boonboomger friends!" Ishiro had trouble fitting, so thank you for looking out for him!

"A word to all the fans!" Thank you for your cranked up support!

Suzuki Miu

"What was the most cranked up scene that you performed as Mira Shifuto over the past year?" Episode 36's helmetless running scene.

"What did you think was the "coolest part" about Boonboomger (or Mira Shifuto)?" That she worked hard for the sake of someone else instead of herself.

"What part of Mira Shifuto's "costume" or "weapons" did you think was cranked up?" That you could hold Boonboom Handle's Rod Mode upside down (it's dangerous, so good children shouldn't imitate that!)

"A word to Mira Shifuto!" Mira being cheerful gave me tons of energy! Thank you :)

"A word to your Boonboomger friends!" I was really happy with the six of us! We're forever friends!!!

"A word to all the fans!" I wouldn't have made it this far without everyone's voices of support. Thank you so much!

Saito Ryu

"What was the most cranked up scene that you performed as Jou Akuse over the past year?" My first transformation.

"What did you think was the "coolest part" about Boonboomger (or Jou Akuse)?" Getting dirty.

"What part of Jou Akuse's "costume" or "weapons" did you think was cranked up?" His police uniform.

"A word to Jou Akuse!" You're an honourable man!! Make sure to zip up your fly properly!!

"A word to your Boonboomger friends!" Thank you for the past year! Sorry for when I acted out of line 🖤

"A word to all the fans!" Thank you for your support over the past year! I look forward to your continued support.

Soma Satoru

"What was the most cranked up scene that you performed as Genba Bureki over the past year?" When after leaving once, he reprocured himself through his friends.

"What did you think was the "coolest part" about Boonboomger (or Genba Bureki)?" With every episode, his friends became the embodiment of ​​"taking control of your own wheel."

"What part of Genba Bureki's "costume" or "weapons" did you think was cranked up?" His fluttering costume made action scenes look more attractive.

"A word to Genba Bureki!" I'm glad you returned to Boonboomger!

"A word to your Boonboomger friends!" Thank you for trusting me and waiting for me ^_^

"A word to all the fans!" Thank you so much for always giving us tons of support!

Miyazawa Yu

"What was the most cranked up scene that you performed as Sakito Homura over the past year?" The six person transformation in Bakuage 48!

"What did you think was the "coolest part" about Boonboomger (or Sakito Homura)?" Honestly gaining control of your own wheel!

"What part of Sakito Homura's "costume" or "weapons" did you think was cranked up?" All of it!

"A word to Sakito Homura!" Sakito Homura! Enjoy living a chaotic life on Earth!

"A word to your Boonboomger friends!" Claim absolute victory in the BBG!!

"A word to all the fans!" Thank you for your support in Bakuage Sentai Boonboomger over the past year! It was the most cranked up year!!

The Heroes Cranked Up Roundtable A long roundtable discussion with the six cast members who played the heroes who protected Earth. They'll talk about their memories from the past year, as well as bombshell stories that can only be talked about now?!

-The six cranked up members have gathered-

"First, please tell us about the relationship between the six of you after spending about a year together."

Hayama: In the beginning it was just Satoru-kun, but the older members were extremely reliable.

Suzuki: Yeah.

Hayama: We got so used to it, that we slowly started to develop a habit of screwing around with them (laughs).

Soma: That's right (laughs).

Hayama: Still, I think it's because they both allowed us to do that that people have come to say, "Boonboomger had some great vibes."

Iuchi: That was a big part of it.

Miyazawa: Y'know, I'm not sure if we've forgiven you yet (laughs).

Soma: Right?

Hayama: Even in this interview, we can talk about how we mess with them, so in that sense, Satoru-kun and Zawa-nii are the greatest.

Miyazawa: I suppose so (laughs).

Suzuki: The youngest members, Haruhi-kun and Ryu-kun, are both 20, while Zawa-kun is the oldest at 29 years old, so the age difference between us is the kind where you wouldn't normally have many opportunities to interact so closely. However, I still think the reason we were able to get along so well was because we were together for a year.

Miyazawa: Normally, I'd be concerned about both sides of the situation.

Iuchi: You were cautious.

Hayama: He was, wasn't he?

Soma: In the beginning, Zawa-kun didn't get involved with us at all for some reason.

Miyazawa: That's because there's a generational gap between us (laughs).

Iuchi: I felt the same way too. At first, it was the age difference, and since I went to an entertainment high school that didn't have any club activities, I rarely had any opportunities to interact with my seniors.

Miyazawa: And yet now we're like family.

Soma: We've even been asked, "Are you guys related?"

Suzuki: During the wrap up, the staff had said, "You guys look like relatives."

Miyazawa: It made me realize that even though there's a 9 year gap between us, we become friends.

Hayama: Of course, we weren't just playing around, as Zawa-kun drew a clear line when it came to work, and I really received a ton of inspiration from him. The only exception is Soma-san (laughs).

Soma: So that's how it is, huh? How strange (laughs).

"I see, so this is how you "tease those older than you" (laughs)."

Soma: Even though Hayama-kun and I go out to eat together pretty often…

Iuchi Hayama Suzuki Saito Miyazawa: (laughs).

"Did Soma-san and Miyazawa-san have to worry about anything when dealing with the younger members?"

Soma: I was the oldest of the original five, so I didn't want them to view me as "scary" (laughs). I wanted them to be able to be carefree, so I aimed to create a "Buddha" like appearance, someone who was accepting of everybody (laughs). By the way, we're being interviewed right now while eating our bentos, and Ryu just stole my tamagoyaki……

Saito: He won't get mad at all if I take it from him (laughs).

Soma: No, no, I told you tamagoyaki is my favorite, c'mon now! This is how they mercilessly tease us (laughs).

Iuchi Hayama Suzuki Miyazawa: (laughs).

Miyazawa: I joined in the middle of the show, but after it was decided that I would perform, I searched up information on who I'd be working with. That's when I was like, "They're all younger than me!" (laughs).

Soma: I get that. You were shocked, huh?

Miyazawa: However, I still thought that there was only one person "below me."

Soma: Who? Ryu maybe?

Miyazawa: No, like you, I'm from Shizuoka. That's why I thought you'd be the first one I talked to (laughs).

Suzuki: Did you think you'd have a better opportunity with Satoru-kun since you're both closer in age?

Miyazawa: Yeah. It's because even Miu-chan and I are about five years apart.

Soma: That's true.

Miyazawa: Before we became friends, I wondered if we would even get along.

Suzuki: Usually, when there's that much of an age difference you're like, "Where do we start?"

Miyazawa: I've also said this elsewhere, but at the same time I was having my costume fit, Miu-chan and Ryu came running to the makeup room and excitedly said, "Uwah, so this is Violet!" At that moment, I felt that everything would be alright. Or, perhaps what I mean to say is that I was the one who took a step back (laughs).

Suzuki: That's right! In another interview, Zawa-kun had said that he was grateful for the two of us closing the distance between him, but just recently, when the topic happened to come up in a private conversation, he said, "To be honest, I was abit put off at the time" (laughs).

Saito: That's harsh (laughs).

Miyazawa: It's because of how energetic you kids are.

Iuchi: You're always saying that.

Suzuki: We're all energetic.

Hayama: Right, we tend to hear that alot.

Miyazawa: That's how it is now, but in the beginning I had the feeling of, "How should I deal with them?"

Iuchi: At first, I felt like I had to talk to them as adults, but Satoru-kun and Yu-kun were the ones to bring a stop to that. That's why I'm very grateful for them.

Soma: In our group chat, Haruhi initially used a large amount of emojis, which made me think, "Ah, he's being cautious" (laughs).

Iuchi: Ah, I didn't realize you had seen right through me (laughs).

Soma: I noticed it from the very beginning.

Suzuki: I see. He did use a large amount of them.

Miyazawa: Is that so? I would've liked to have seen that.

Soma: By the time Zawa-kun joined us, he was no longer doing that.

Suzuki: It's because you "brought a stop to that," remember?

Hayama: (he looks at Miyazawa-san) And here I thought you were a good guy.

Miyazawa: Hey!

Iuchi Suzuki Saito Soma: (laughs).

Miyazawa: To begin with, our generations are so different, that I don't know what's popular. People of my generation would do stuff like go to karaoke.

Soma: Yeah. Things like what's popular and fun among today's youth.

Miyazawa: I had no idea about TikTok or anything like that (laughs).

Soma: You know, the way people say TikTok now is with an intonation! (laughs).

Miyazawa: Eh, it's that true?

Soma:……that's how it seems.

Miyazawa: However, it was a completely different story when I entered the set. I was conscious of the fact that it was our place of work.

Soma: There was a clear distinction in the way you'd switch.

Miyazawa: Right, which is the most important thing!

"Do you have any painful or difficult stories that you can only talk about now?"

Iuchi: What's okay to say? (laughs).

Saito: Ah, I was late once.

Suzuki: Wha!

Iuchi: Do you feel remorseful about it?

Saito: I do.

Suzuki: I don't know what to take away from this.

Soma: Just let it play out (laughs).

Saito: However, I made it in time for the shoot itself.

Miyazawa: No, no, that's totally normal then (laughs).

Saito: When you've been doing something like this for a long time, you inevitably start to slack off, huh?

Suzuki: You can't say that about yourself! (laughs).

Iuchi Hayama Soma Miyazawa: (laughs).

Iuchi: What was abit difficult for me during filming was not using my bike. I didn't ride it throughout the filming period because I didn't want to cause trouble if I had an accident. Besides, with it being my first time living in Tokyo, I thought I'd be fine without a bike, as there are tons of trains in Tokyo. However, once I started living there, I found that there were many places that would take too long to get to if I used the train or bus, but could be reached pretty easily by bike. I'm alittle disappointed that I couldn't even go out and have some casual fun (bitter smile).

Saito: That was a model answer!

Miyazawa: Is it okay to talk about what was difficult for me?

Hayama: The Boonboom dance?

Miyazawa: No (said firmly).

Hayama: Not that, huh?

Miyazawa: Sakito's hair style.

Iuchi Hayama Suzuki Saito Soma: Yeah (they fully agree).

Miyazawa: Every time I went to a shoot, it would become coarse and stiff. After filming, I would have to go home and wash my hair because of how difficult it became.

Suzuki: After filming would finish, we'd say, "Let's all go out for a meal!," but only Zawa-kun would go home and take a shower before rejoining us.

Miyazawa: That's because if I left my hair as it was, my hat would look like it was floating.

Iuchi Hayama Suzuki Saito Soma: (laughs).

Soma: That being said, I had trouble with my hair too.

Miyazawa: What was the case for Satoru? It must've been with your Burekiian form.

Soma: Yeah, it was when I transformed into my Burekiian form.

Hayama: Putting on the makeup too.

Soma: That's right. What's more, my skin is fairly tan.

Saito: Sure is.

Soma: So, I had to apply whitening cream in addition to getting my makeup done. I also had to wear cat eye contacts, but if I blinked even slightly, they would immediately rotate. That's why it was very difficult for me to perform close up shots in that condition.

Suzuki: You wouldn't blink.

Soma: Still, they'd eventually also fall out if I didn't blink for a long time.

Miyazawa: Your contacts fell out countless times.

Soma: Yeah.

Hayama: What comes to mind for me was the action. Exercise has never been one of my strong points, and there were a few times where I just couldn't keep up. To be honest, that was really tough.

Soma: No, no, you were really cool!

Hayama: Really?

Suzuki: Yeah.

Soma: Like in episode 37, you were amazing, don't you think?

Hayama: Well, in any case, I was just desperately trying to keep up.

Suzuki: You seem to have good reflexes.

Miyazawa: And he can dance. Me on the other hand, I'm no good at dancing (laughs).

Hayama: Wasn't it quite difficult for Miu-chan to get into costume?

Suzuki: That's right. There were so many part time outfits, so I remember having to get my costume fit for almost every episode (laughs).

Hayama: You went in to get your costume fit all the time.

Suzuki: Also, my legs were very cold.

Hayama: I had a feeling you'd say that.

Suzuki: Especially during Winter (bitter smile).

Hayama: And, those weren't even the worst ones. There's the wedding dress you wore in the final episode.

Suzuki: Yeah.

Hayama: You had to have the staff help you when you moved.

Suzuki: I couldn't move without my attendants.

Hayama: "Attendants" (laughs).

Miyazawa: It really seemed like that.

Suzuki: Also, I couldn't sit on a chair, so when filming stopped, I had a blanket laid out on the floor to sit on until my next turn.

Saito: You were like a princess!

Suzuki: The dress looked like it was floating as it spread out on the floor.

Saito: She often called upon us (Saito-san and Hayama-san) and gave requests like, "Please get me some sweets" (laughs).

Iuchi: She simply couldn't move.

Suzuki: (speaking like a princess) "Excuse me, can you fetch me a drink?"

Miyazawa: She's totally a princess now (laughs).

Suzuki: Another challenging thing was that this production has shorter shots so that smaller children watching wouldn't get bored. In scenes where we convey our feelings, they weren't that long and involved a series of cuts, so we had to raise our emotions pretty intensely, which was difficult. If I had to put it another way, I think it really strengthened our responsive skills.

Hayama: That's a good way of putting it.

Suzuki: You get it though, right?

Hayama: Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

Suzuki: Zawa-kun had a difficult time with that at first too, right?

Miyazawa: I'd usually start from one or two of my previous lines, but if I thought that it'd still be too difficult, I was allowed to start from even earlier.

Hayama: Yeah, you'd do that.

Saito: Everyone's talking about something serious…

Soma: Ryu, do you have anything else since your story about being late didn't work out?

Saito: Yeah. I play a police officer, so it was quite difficult putting on all that equipment. It was pretty heavy, and there's a proper way of putting it on, so I had to make sure to check it every time. I thought this was to be expected by all the people who actually work as police officers.

Soma: Oh, that was a good story you just gave!

-Looking back at each memorable scene-

"From here, we'd like to ask each of you to pick one person at a time and name a performance or scene of theirs that left a lasting impression on you."

Soma: I guess Haruhi should be first, right?

Hayama: I think I was the closest to Haruhi's Taiya, but when I met him as fake Ishiro in episode 37, the performance Haruhi gave was completely different from what I usually did with him, and I thought the detail in how he differentiated his role was amazing.

Suzuki: The expressions Haruhi-kun showed were really great, as his emotional range swings between the line of difficult and exceptionally good. The facial expression he made at the end of episode 24 also conveyed his delicate feelings.

Iuchi: Thank you very much.

Miyazawa: I still love the, "Let's all hurry!" line he says in the final episode.

Suzuki: That was great too!

Miyazawa: All I can say is that it's like you can see the very moment he switches.

Suzuki: It gives off a similar feeling to when your body trembles with excitement, you close your eyes, and then shoot them open, right?

Miyazawa: Right, it's like that kind of switch.

Suzuki: The scene in episode 45 where Taiya loses sight of his own wheel was really impactful. It's like he was performing with his soul.

Miyazawa: I'll never forget the one on one performance I did with him in episode 18. It made me think, "So this is the man called Taiya Hando, huh?" That scene is still fresh in my mind.

Hayama: (to Iuchi-san) Were you nervous?

Iuchi:……I was (laughs).

Saito: There was a scene that I really liked, the musical scene with Itasha was in the Christmas episode, right?

Soma: Yeah.

Saito: At that point, Taiya makes a face that's like, "Eh?," looks around, then sits down without saying a word, and that made me burst out laughing.

Iuchi: That was entirely Director Kato's direction.

Saito: It was hysterical.

Iuchi: This is especially true since Taiya's not the type of person to do something like that.

Saito: I desperately wanted to say, "Don't just sit there in silence!" (laughs).

Soma: It would've been even funnier if he responded to it with something like, "That was cranked up!"

Suzuki: Yeah, like in the Toilet Grumer Limited episode.

Saito: Yeah, that happened.

Iuchi: That's where I tried to play the version of Taiya that Mira had in her mind (laughs).

Hayama: That was alot of fun.

"Next, what do you think of Ishiro Meita's Hayama-san?"

Iuchi: My favorite scene is in episode 14, when he relies on Mira. Ishiro had always operated in his own world, but Taiya also had the desire to draw him into everyone world, so Taiya felt happy when Ishiro was able to rely on Mira, someone he had come to love. I had read the script beforehand, but when I saw the broadcast, I was moved all over again.

Hayama: That was also made possible due to Suzuki-san's help.

Suzuki: No, no, that's not true.

Iuchi: But it was just the two of you!

Suzuki: Of course, when we were filming that scene, I thought, "Yuki-kun really likes acting." In the aquarium scene in this episode, when Chasshiro shows his annual pass, I (Mira) try to take it, but he quickly pulls his hand back. He was the one who suggested we do that with, "How about if we improvise like this?"

Hayama: All while I acted like a brat (laughs).

Suzuki: I felt that I wasn't capable enough when imagining things that weren't written in the script. That's why Yuki-kun's suggestion made me think, "That could happen!"

Miyazawa: Yuki's really serious, huh?

Suzuki: Yeah, I get him.

Miyazawa: Over this past year, he'd be thinking about the character of Ishiro Meita more than anyone else, and whenever he'd talk about his performance, it was always, "Ishiro's this, and Ishiro's that" (laughs).

Iuchi Suzuki Saito Soma: (laughs).

Miyazawa: There were times when Ishiro would fool around, which I thought would've been difficult, but Yuki was able to express it in his own way. My favorite scene was in the final episode, right before he leaves Earth. He happily says, "An Informant in space, I like the sound of that.

Soma: I also thought he looked happy when I watched him.

Miyazawa: He'd been separated from the Boonboomgers for quite some time, so I think he might've felt bad about it. By doing that performance, I could really feel that he had come back as Ishiro.

Hayama: I'm grateful.

Miyazawa: It was "the best of Ishiro."

Hayama: I'm glad to hear you say that.

Soma: Personally, I liked it when Chasshiro got teased by those around him. Like in episode 40, when Itsuki-kun said, "I want to be a cool hero like BoonBlue," Mira and Jou's reaction was to look at Chasshiro and say, "Cool?" (laughs).

Suzuki: I liked it when Mira pinched his cheeks.

Iuchi: Yeah.

Hayama: That was in the final scene of episode 37.

Soma: It was fun to watch scenes where Chasshiro "comes down" from a stressful situation, as I would think, "Ah, so this is how it's being done this time."

Saito: Yuki-kun mentioned earlier that he's not good at action, and looking back at our first action practice, I could sorta sense that he was having a hard time. However, the action with Gong Grumer in episode 29 was really cool. He must've practiced alot, but it was still captivating. After that, in episode 37, he did action scenes for both Ishiro and the fake, and I felt like he had come a long way with all the moves he was able to do.

Hayama: You sound like a parent (laughs).

Saito: I'd like to mention that I've rewatched your boxing action with Gong Grumer about six times.

Hayama: Eh?!

Suzuki: Amazing, you've got a fan.

Hayama: Ryu, thank you~ (laughs).

Saito: No, I was just curious about the moves you were doing.

Hayama: I guess everyone was looking at different parts. This is the first time I've heard all of that.

Iuchi: You're embarrassed, huh?

Hayama: I am. Ryu should be the first one I treat to some gyudon, don't you think? (laughs).

Suzuki: For me, it was probably when he was paired up with Mira in episode 14. It's the scene where Chasshiro's desperately struggling to keep Reizoko Grumer from going to the aquarium. I had never seen Chasshiro with such intense passion before. Mira had already transformed, so the first time I saw him like that was during post recording, but it was Yuki-kun's acting that really got me into the mood during recording.

Hayama: It was all thanks to the Screenwriter (laughs).

Suzuki: You looked happy (laughs).

Miyazawa: He was all smiley.

Suzuki: And, I know I keep saying this, but when Chasshiro talks to Mira face to face like a normal person in that episode……seriously, his visuals were just too good.

Hayama: It was both an Ishiro episode and a visual episode.

Soma: Visual episode he says…..(laughs).

Suzuki: And, I guess he was really fired up since it was one of his main episodes, as during filming, he made constant efforts every morning to get rid of any swelling (laughs).

Hayama: You didn't have to bring up that part! (laughs).

Iuchi Saito Soma Miyazawa: (laughs).

"Now for the next turn, we'd like you to talk about scenes featuring Mira Shifuto's Suzuki-san."

Soma: Speaking of Miu-chan, she was a monster during post recording.

Suzuki: Eh? What?

Saito: He means to say "you're very skilled."

Suzuki: For real? That makes me happy!

Saito: How is it that you're always able to skillfully match up your voice?…..

Suzuki: Yay! (laughs).

Hayama: Another thing is the straightforward way in which she communicates. In episode 14, when she said, "You're so stupid, Chasshiro!," I could really feel Mira's energy just from watching the footage, and I felt that there was alot to learn when it came to making emotional outbursts like that.

Suzuki: That makes me happy.

Hayama: I learned a…alot!

Suzuki: Don't stutter at the best part! (laughs).

Hayama: (laughs).

Soma: Yuki-kun mentioned emotions just now, but I liked Miu-chan's part when we spoke our lines one by one before defeating Madrex in episode 9.

Suzuki: When I say, "That's what it means to take control of your own wheel!," right?

Soma: Yeah. Your eyes sparkled, and your line was filled with emotion, so that moment really grabbed me emotionally.

Suzuki: Everyone's injured makeup looked good too.

Soma: That combined with the atmosphere of the setting sun made it even better. Towards the end of the show, when Mira makes up her mind to get married, Me, Sakito and Jou were on the receiving end of things, but we were also greatly helped by her. It was easier to do our performance since we could understand Mira's feelings.

Suzuki: That makes me feel good (laughs).

Iuchi: My favorite Mira scene, and the one where I also thought Miu-chan helped me out, was in episode 45. They had created a rather dark scene in regards to Bundorio's shutdown, and I went into the scene worrying about how to go back to Taiya's usual self within the 30 minutes we had. However, thanks to Miu-chan's performance, I was able to bring Taiya back to his energetic self.

Suzuki: Heh~ I didn't know you felt that way.

Iuchi: Taiya saying, "Thank you, I'm glad you guys are my friends," followed by Mira's genuine look of relief on her face as she said, "You've finally regained control of your wheel," was very comforting. That put me in a better mood as we faced the final episode, so I really feel thankful for that.

Suzuki: No, no, I wouldn't have been able to cry if I hadn't seen the look on Taiya's face. I feel the same way, you really helped me out.

Soma: Are you reciprocating your love to each other?

Suzuki: That's not it (laughs).

Miyazawa: It's the result of their synergy.

Suzuki: That's it!

Miyazawa: I don't have any specific episodes in mind, but rather, when I think of Miu-chan, her persuasive words come to mind. I especially felt that in Mira's main episodes. I think it's Mira who connects the Boonboomgers together, and I think she had a big influence on the production.

Suzuki: That makes me happy.

Miyazawa: What I also thought was interesting was that when I saw Miu-chan on set, she would adjust the number of steps she took in order to match the camera's position.

Suzuki: Yeah, I did that (laughs). I'd usually be good with three steps, and then I'd just say my lines from around there.

Miyazawa: Seeing that up close, I thought of her as a very hard worker. Mira's good balance was likely the result of Miu-chan's hard work.

Suzuki: Thank you!

Saito: This might overlap with Zawa-nii, but while I think that each person had their own main episodes, Mira would be right there next to us.

Iuchi Hayama Suzuki Soma Miyazawa: Yeah!

Saito: When you pair up with someone like that, the explosive power is incredible. How would you describe it? Like an amino acid??

Soma: Something like an umami seasoning that makes everything taste better?

Saito: Ah, that's it! If you don't add it in, it's somewhat tasteless, but with it, I'd say it adds depth and takes it up a level. That's why I think Mira's presence was of great help to our team.

Hayama: Thank you for being an amino acid.

Saito: Thank you amino acid.

Suzuki: I did my best as an amino acid! (laughs).

"Next should be Jou Akuse's Saito-san. What does everyone think?"

Iuchi: What I'd like to mention with Jou is his injured makeup for the baseball episode. The makeup artist told me that a role like Jou's is one that's really deserving of injured makeup.

Hayama: That's true.

Iuchi: The way he got covered in dirt, was sprawled out on the ground, and yet still stood up was really cool.

Suzuki: You know it!

Iuchi: As for Taiya, he's happy to watch Jou's growth, or to put it in a slightly weird way, he likes seeing Jou get dirty (laughs).

Saito: Hahahaha (laughs).

Suzuki: It's kinda nice when Jou gets dirty.

Hayama: It's great.

Iuchi: It looks great on film, doesn't it?

Hayama: Going along with that, I guess I'd pick his first Change in episode 5. The scene where he crawls while still standing his ground is really memorable, don't you think? Boonboomger consists of a group of people who hold various beliefs, but among them, Jou possesses an honest sense of justice, and I think that was most strongly portrayed in episode 5. Watching him on set, I honestly felt like, "Ah, he's a hero."

Miyazawa: I think that out of all the characters in Boonboomger, the one who was closest to their role was Ryu, and there were countless times where I felt that he really linked up with Jou's honest character.

Iuchi: Yeah

Hayama: There were.

Miyazawa: Especially when he was trying to appeal to something. There was something about it that would just resonate with you. The same goes for the Keytarou episode, the scene with Itsuki-kun in episode 40, and the scene against the police squad in episode 46.

Hayama: Episode 40 was especially good!

Miyazawa: When it comes to tearful episodes, I think that most people would pick the one where Genba leaves, but I'd cry every time there was a Jou episode.

Saito: Eh?!

Miyazawa: No, it was frustrating how Ryu's performance made me cry.

Iuchi Hayama Suzuki Soma: (laughs).

Miyazawa: Still, it really touched my heart. I really think that only Saito Ryu could've played the role of Jou Akuse. He's also really good at action. He moves his body well.

Saito: That makes me happy!

Soma: For me, it's the part in episode 28 where he Boonboom Changes while running into the fight against Neon Grumer.

Saito: Yeah, I was filmed wearing a maskless Boonboom suit.

Soma: That maskless facial expression, and the intense passion conveyed through his lines. I guess you could call it a "feeling of hitting the right mark." Zawa-kun mentioned it too, but his honesty resonates with you as you watch him, which is exactly in line with Jou, but I think is the same for Ryu too.

Suzuki: I talk about it in every interview we do, but my pick is always going to be episode 15. His crying face at the end when he took down Kaseki Grumer was heartbreaking, and there's also the scene where Jou makes up his mind.

Saito: It was when he said, "I'll take him down!"

Suzuki: Yeah. Despite feeling conflicted, he said he'd fulfill his duty as a police officer. That was also bittersweet. It was a scene that was really painful to watch.

Saito: My performative skills were still pretty rough during that episode, so I had alot of trouble with it. I think Director Hayama helped me alot in that episode.

Miyazawa: It's usually Jou who gets caught in the middle of a dilemma, don't you think? I guess expressing that is also quite difficult to do.

Saito: Yeah, it was. Every time I'd wonder at what point the conflict between what he wanted to do, what contribution he'd make as a police officer, and what decisions he'd make as a hero would alternate.

"What are some of the most memorable scenes involving Genba Bureki's Soma-san?"

Miyazawa: What should we do?

Suzuki: There's really nothing to say, right?

Soma: Why~?!

Hayama: I guess there's nothing in particular.

Soma: Well, guess I'll head home early then (laughs).

Iuchi Suzuki Saito Miyazawa: (laughs).

Iuchi: Alright then, I'll start! I also like the scene in episode 27, where Genba leaves Boonboomger, but I've talked about it in many other places, so I'll name another scene. I recently had the chance to rewatch the clip of his first Change in episode 7, and I thought the whole sequence of movements, starting with the line, "I'm gonna accelerate you guys," and then raising the Boonboom Change Axe to then pull out the Boonboom Booster was incredibly cool.

Iuchi Suzuki: It was when he said, "(speaking in unison like Genba) Let's take control of the wheel of being Boonboomgers together!"

Saito: A key point is the part where he bounces his hand alittle.

Soma: You were paying attention, huh?

Iuchi: Furthermore, in Genba's case, he isn't characterized by his quick decisions, but by his slippery movements instead.

Soma: Was that……a compliment?

Iuchi: Huh, you don't get it?

Hayama: You're saying his movements are sexy, right?

Iuchi: Right, right, sexy!

Suzuki: Genba's movements had some sex appeal to them.

Iuchi: I could feel his mature sexiness, which is exactly in line with Genba. I felt that again when I rewatched it.

Miyazawa: For me……yeah, I think it'd be the part where he's sucking on a lollipop in the opening credits.

Soma: Why?!

Miyazawa: Sorry, that just sorta came out.

Soma: That's going way too far (laughs).

Miyazawa: That was just a joke (laughs), Genba and Sakito were involved in many scenes, so I had many opportunities to talk with Satoru, and I found him to be a really passionate guy when it came to his performance. In particular, he kept the alien setting a secret. That was the most surprising thing.

Suzuki: Eh, you knew from the start?

Soma: I knew about his real identity, but details like him being an heir of planet Bureki and the Hashiryan invasion came later.

Suzuki: Eh~. Still, you knew from the beginning that he was an alien.

Soma: Yeah, I knew.

Saito: So that's how it was.

Suzuki: Did everyone know?

Hayama: No, I also didn't know.

Soma: I think I mentioned it to Taiya along the way.

Iuchi: I only overheard alittle bit about it.

Suzuki: Heh~!

Miyazawa: Not only did he keep that a secret, but he also kept a clear plan in mind and made sure to express the way Genba "should be" in each and every scene. What was particularly memorable was the expression on Genba's face at the end of episode 26 when he saw Disrace. I thought that he had really brought out the best of everything he had accumulated up until that point. I'll never forget it.

Hayama: From there, Genba left Boonboomger and suffered for awhile, but in the beginning of the next episode where he had come back, Genba had a really refreshed look on his face (laughs).

Suzuki: I noticed that~!

Hayama: I once again thought that that kind of carefree vibe is unique to Genba Bureki.

Suzuki: It was that scene, where the camera pans from his legs to focus on his facial expression.

Hayama: Right. Also, Satoru-kun's scripts were amazing. I could catch a glimpse of them from the post recording microphone next to me, and they'd be completely red. This of course varies from person to person, as I myself am the type who doesn't write many notes, but even so, I was impressed by his enthusiasm to learn.

Soma: I'm just prone to worrying (laughs).

Hayama: They were so red, that it makes me want to post a photo on SNS so that everyone can see.

Iuchi: You really pay attention to the smallest of details.

Saito: Regarding the scene in episode 33 where Genba returns, the Action Director of "Kamen Rider Gavv," who I had the opportunity to speak with at the studio, highly praised it by saying, "The expressions on Taiya and Genba's faces as they stared at each other were really good."

Soma: Eh, really? Should I move over to Gavv's set now?

Iuchi Hayama Saito Miyazawa: (laughs).

Suzuki: Please stop (laughs).

Saito: I'd like to bring up the scene in episode 15, where Jou and Genba talk. At the end, Genba mutters, "A lonely dinosaur, huh?…," and at the time of filming I thought, "What is this line?" When I look back at this scene now, the kind, lonely, and indescribable expression on Satoru-kun's face really hit me.

Suzuki: For me it'd also have to be episode 33, but it's for the scene between Shirabe-san and Genba. I felt like he poured out everything he had been holding back up to that point.

Soma: That's something I discussed with Director Nakazawa Shojiro.

Suzuki: On another occasion, the Director told me, "I told him that it'd be more like Genba to hold back there," but finding the right balance must've been very difficult, right? Mira is someone who can show her emotions, but he won't be the same Genba if he shows too much, and if he holds back too much, it'll seem like he's lost his humanity. After hearing that story, I rewatched the second half of episode 33, where he comes back to us, and was convinced as I thought, "So that's the reason." Something will make his heart tremble, but he won't shed tears, and I think that's appropriate for Genba.

Iuchi: Come to think of it, Yu-kun mentioned his identity being revealed, but is it okay if I add something quick?

Miyazawa: Go ahead!

Iuchi: At a later date, Satoru-kun told me why he only revealed it to me, that being, "I think Taiya would've already noticed." Just hearing that…no, he really thinks about the details of details.

Suzuki: That's Amazing!

Soma: Not at all.

Iuchi: What's more, at that time, the details hadn't been worked out yet, but when I read the script for episode 27, Chasshiro asks, "Did you know?," to which Taiya replies, "I had a feeling he wasn't an Earthling," so it was just as Satoru-kun had predicted.

Suzuki: I see!

Iuchi: Satoru-kun is amazing, even though it wasn't his role, he thought Taiya already noticed.

Hayama: How do you even think that far ahead?!

Iuchi: Right? It's really amazing.

Soma: It's embarrassing.

"Finally, there's Sakito Homura's Miyazawa-san."

Hayama: After all, he has the longest acting career out of all of us, so I was always inspired by him.

Iuchi: No, seriously. With that being that case, it'll be hard trying to narrow it down to just one thing.

Hayama: My favorite scene was without a doubt the one at the beginning of episode 29. I had created my performance to a certain extent and took it to the set, but then Sakito started doing moves that I would've never expected (laughs).

Suzuki: You were like, "Wait, this isn't what I had in mind!" (laughs).

Hayama: That's how I felt. Still, I thought that if I became intimidated here, I'd lose to Zawa-kun, so I tried a variety of things on my own. I think it was one of the opportunities for me to grow as an actor, and it's a scene that left a very strong impression on me.

Miyazawa: If we were at the Deliverer's garage like normal, you could imagine what you'd be like, but with filming on location, you don't really know until you get there. In my case, I was pretty much doing things in the moment.

Iuchi: When I got involved with Yu-kun, that's where I'd really learn something. If I'm not mistaken, the scene where we're all talking and having fun in the final episode was also changed on set.

Suzuki: Eh, is that true?

Iuchi: I talked it over with Yu-kun, and he asked me something along the lines of if I wanted to be the "first to respond," but with Sakito, I thought words were unnecessary, so I just tapped my fist against his chest and said, "I'm counting on you" ……I said that just before the take, right?

Miyazawa: That's right.

Iuchi: I really liked the look on Sakito's face in that scene, and thanks to that, Taiya felt like, "Now Earth is in good hands," and even though it was done on the spot, Yu-kun responded perfectly in his performance.

Miyazawa: I think I was able to respond because there was something about Haruhi's performance that resonated with me.

Soma: Even without any lines, Sakito was able to convey the message he wanted to say. That was also the case with the sumo episode, and I learned alot from watching it.

Miyazawa: I'm grateful.

Soma: Genba himself isn't a character with many lines, so when he was silent, I would just look at everyone's expressions, but even in those moments, I felt that Zawa-kun had a wide range of performative skills to draw from.

Saito: I was impressed by his interactions with Byundi. He was constantly talking with Suit Actor Takada Masashi-san, as well as BoonViolet's Tsuta-san, but seeing him talk all the time, even when the cameras weren't on, taught me how to approach acting.

Miyazawa: I'm sure this is true for everyone, but this was the first time I interacted with a Suit Character and performed a role together with a Suit Actor. With that being the case, I think we each had our own ideas of, "What I'd do if I were you," and I wanted to present a character that matched that of BoonViolet, and by extension, Sakito Homura.

Suzuki: Sakito has a childlike charm, a presence that makes everyone tremble easily, and a unique sex appeal, and while we were shown various sides of him, there's a sense of unity that made him look like a proper individual. I think that's what Zawa-kun put into consideration when playing the role of Sakito.

Miyazawa: That makes me happy. Let's all go out for yakiniku next time.

Iuchi Hayama Saito Soma: Yay!

Suzuki: We've been waiting for that!

Miyazawa: Ah! Is that what you guys were after?! (laughs).

-The six people who finished Boonboomger-

"I think it's time we conclude, but we'd like to ask each of you one last time for your thoughts on the past year."

Iuchi: It was fun.

Hayama: It was, wasn't it?

Suzuki: Wait, wait, hold on (laughs).

Soma: Isn't that too short?

Suzuki: It is!

Saito: Well, it is true that it was fun…

Miyazawa: No, stop, speak one at a time, let's do this properly.

Hayama: We got along well with each other over the past year, and I of course hope that we can continue to be friends, but when I see the five of them, I feel like I've learned so much as an actor. In that sense, what was great about being a Boonboomger was that I was able to gain some really good experience for my future acting career by working together with these five people. I realize I'm talking seriously now, but I'm truly happy that I got to meet these five actors.

Suzuki: I'm truly happy from the bottom of my heart that I was apart of these six, and I hope that even after 10 or 20 years have passed, our current relationship will continue. They're my best friends.

Hayama: If something ever happens, us five will be there for you.

Suzuki: That's reassuring!

Saito: Miu-chan summed up everything just now. I thought the same thing after finishing filming, but I think it was actually a good thing. I would've hated it if any one of us was missing, and I honestly feel that the hard work we all put in over the past year was well worth it.

Suzuki: It's kinda sad that it's over…

Soma: On the very day of the wrap up, I think I was relaxed, as I thought, "Ah, it's over~," but when we actually wrapped up, I was so overwhelmed with emotion, that it surprised even myself.

Miyazawa: It was more than you were expecting, huh? I'm surprised.

Soma: Over the past year, I really saw alot of what I liked about everyone, and it was also really exciting when Zawa-kun joined us halfway through. I really think that the balance between these six people is outstanding, and I think we became such a great team because of all the wonderful qualities everyone has. Thank you so much!

Suzuki: Encountering you all and the time we spent together was irreplaceable, and it'll stay with me for the rest of my life.

Miyazawa: I arrived along the way, where I ended up joining a team already consisting of five people, but they were five truly charming people. We got along well in the drama and in our daily lives, and there was so much that I learned from them, so I want to be the first to say how grateful I am that we were able to do this together for a year. And, while this may be the end of Boonboomger, I hope that each one of us will take the experience we've gained from this production to the next level, and that one day, when the time comes for "all these members to gather," we'll already be capable of aiming higher and attract the attention of many people. That's why I hope you'll still support us and continue to carefully watch over us.

"And now, we'd like to ask Iuchi-san for some closing remarks."

Iuchi: Is it alright if it's abit long?

Hayama Suzuki Saito Soma Miyazawa: Of course!

Iuchi: Boonboomger was my first drama job, and I played the main role of Red. Super Sentai productions are a team effort, so I didn't want to get too worked up about being known as the star or leader. However, in interviews I was often asked, "What's your enthusiasm as the leader?," and in the beginning, I'd go into the set being 90% anxious and 10% excited. Also, I'm the type of person who values spending time alone, and while I don't know if there were moments where they didn't think well of me, everyone accepted me for who I was and treated me in a really kind and friendly manner, so I have nothing but gratitude for that. Recently, I've had more opportunities to hear people say to me, "You've grown in the past year," and while I think that's only natural due to how I interacted with people on set and how the staff guided me when I didn't know anything, the most important thing was that I received so much from everyone I performed with. That said, I do think I've grown over the past year. We were all talking about it before this interview, but even after it's over, I sincerely hope from the bottom of my heart that we can get together regularly afterwards to talk about casual things and spend time together. Finally, I have a confession…….I came to Tokyo by myself for this job, and these five are the first friends I made! Let's continue to get along well!

Hayama Suzuki Saito Soma Miyazawa: That makes us happy!

[dollypopup]

no, but why didn't we get Colin's letters??????

words truly cannot convey what a missed opportunity glossing over the letters was. why didn't we get a voice over of Colin reading them? or see what Penelope did with them? he sent all these letters and Penelope didn't reply. He was clearly feeling that! He was carrying that around with him. It's why he tried out a new facade in the first place! You know what would have been such a damn good scene that would do SO much with building the narrative of how much Pen loves him? And how much Polin is about being mirrors to each other?

having her read his letters on screen

Sure, build up to it. Can't happen at the start. Not when she's trying to find a husband or after Colin apologized to her. It's not about the immediate satisfaction. It's about showing how Penelope changes and matures and grows as a character that she CAN revisit them, about who Colin is and what he sends, how he sounds, the cadence of his voice when he writes to someone he cares about, discussing subjects he's passionate for. About their connection itself getting stronger or repairing after being frazzled by the LW reveal and the ghosting and the lies and and and

You can't tell me that after they're married, she's not reading his letters. You CANNOT TELL ME that she's laying in that big bed all alone, feeling such distance from him, not recognizing that she had put him in a similar position over the off season. He said and did something that hurt her heart and she froze him out from her affections. SHE said and did something that hurt HIS heart and now he froze her out in turn. When Colin reads HER letters to feel close to her, it's such a beautiful moment of the audience seeing how much he cherishes her.

why don't we get a similar scene with her? because chat, I won't lie, it rubs me the wrong way. It rubs me the wrong way, chat. That he sat down and had a whirlwind of a travel adventure for his final year studying on his grand tour and wrote and wrote and wrote and had NO IDEA why no one was replying and felt that profound loneliness so close to his skin but turned around and blamed himself and we know it because we have THIS fragment of his journal

which in part reads:

After my travels last year when I wrote so much and received very few replies. I am trying out a new personality. A new way of seeing the world and interacting with others. I want to be less needy, less insecure, while still maintaining the core of my vulnerability that makes me who I am.

and chat, I do not understand. I do not get it, chat. Penelope, who criticized him for being fake, who canonically has read parts of his journal, coming across THIS entry? It would break her heart into pieces.

AND I NEED TO SEE IT.

I NEED to see that she cherishes him the way he cherishes her. That she didn't just cast his letters out into the fire in her frustration with him. That she didn't throw him away, even when she was upset. Because he doesn't throw her away when he's upset! And you know what? Even if she did, for us to see her have some remorse for it! She was so hungry to read his journal, and then got letter after letter from him? Of COURSE she's reading those letters! That journal is an insight into his thought process with himself, but the letters are insight into his thought process with her.

And you know what? I want to see her write him letters constantly in the next season. Like a regency equivalent of love letters on post-it notes plastered all up in their house. I want him to wake up to another letter from her even when she slept right beside him that night but had to wake up early for whatever reason so, here, have this letter hand-crafted with her heart in the quill just because. Just because she loves him.

Colin is so good at apologies, namely because they always have actions that follow up to show he's understood what harm he caused and how he's committed to fixing it. And yes, Penelope apologized, but it didn't have much action behind it. I think Penelope NEEDS to understand that part of Colin's insecurities come from her. Her actions. Her lies. Come from that off season where she did not answer him and gave no reason why. Come from saying he loved her and not having her say it back. Colin builds his bridge about her being LW and gets over it largely on his lonesome. We stan an emotionally mature and available man!

But. . .Penelope doesn't have much hand in that. Even when she tells him she wrote about him because she wanted the Colin she knew back. That was a lie. But she can have that Colin back! THROUGH HIS LETTERS!!! Which we should see her read!!!

Anywho, I like to believe that Penelope felt some remorse for their distance and once she knows just how much her not replying hurt him, perhaps via journal entry, one way for her to heal over that harm is to write to him. Why wouldn't she write to him even when they live together? They spent months not doing so. Surely she misses it. And it would be cute. A love language on her part to show him how much she cares. I need Colin to discover that oh she kept them, all those letters he sent. She didn't answer, but I want him to know she read them. I want him to know she likes them. Colin does so much processing on his own, and that's important. But it's okay for her to go 'this thing I did hurt you, and this is how I'll fix it'.

Because look: we all know that an enormous part of Colin's insecurities are because he has been rejected. By his family, by his society, by the one person he believed would never forsake him. He understands why she did, but she still did, and it would do a lot for him to know she didn't just discard him, even if his self esteem isn't great and he'd blame himself alone for the breakdown in communication. And it would do a lot for him to get letters from her again.

Do you KNOW how much shorter their freeze out post-wedding would have been if when he went to get a blanket, he found Penelope reading his letters from the last season? That she kept them? That she keeps them close? Do you KNOW how much that pours into the intimacy between the two of them? Just imagine it

"What are you doing?" "I should think it to be obvious." "Why read them, now?" ". . .because I miss you."

Imagine the parallels. Imagine her delivering 'I miss you' the same way he delivered it. Imagine how conflicted that would make him, pleased and in love but aching and sad all at once. The angst. The romance. The romangst. Think about all we could have!!!

[otomes-and-tears]

Can you do another soulmate au with Qiu and Tamarack but mc moves in at step two (I'd assume they'd basically end up the same way without the mc being there)? Qiu in particular would be interesting to see cause of how closed off they are lol

Anyway love your writing ❤️❤️❤️

♦ You can only see grey until you meet your soulmate for the first time with Qiu and Tamarack step 2 ♦

► tags and warnings: Soulmate! Au, Based on this post

► words: 2406

► A/N: Hi! I didn't know if you wanted the same type of soulmate AU or a different kind, so I wrote the same! If you're interested in seeing a different kid, just drop a request and I'll be glad to write something <3

► Masterlist

Tamarack

If the idea of a soulmate, as a child, made Tamarack indifferent, it now filled her with fear.

It wasn’t supposed to be like that, she was sure. Not like she’d ever admit to these feelings to anyone— Finding your soulmate was a goal to strive towards, a consolation on difficult days.

It’s what all romance books centered around. It’s the topic of all of the songs people listen to on the radio, the advice columns on magazines the girls much cooler than her read. 

It’s a daunting notion, perhaps, but a natural one. Her soulmate will appear when she least expects, her world will fill with colours she had never particularly wished to see, and she will be granted a companion for as long as both shall live. The other half of her soul, a missing limb she had never noticed was gone.

But how could she ever muster up excitement for it when her future was so uncertain?

Maybe her soulmate was back at her old home, at the school she’d have attended if her parents had kept her instead of leaving her with her grandparents. Or maybe, if they followed through on their promises to take her back, she’d just miss her soulmate moving into the perpetually empty, likely haunted, house in the middle of the cul-de-sac.

A soulmate could be the anchor she’d always wished for, a tether somewhere, but it could just as easily twist into another loss, another painful what-if to occupy her thoughts.

And losing the one thing you wished for isn’t terrifying?

So she continues living her life. Hoping that she’s just another person to meet their soulmate just a little later in life— her parents had met in college, after all. Things would just work out if the universe could hold out for just a while longer, until her family’s mess could finally settle itself or she was old enough to make her own choices, put down roots somewhere she was certain they wouldn’t be cruelly ripped out the soil. 

She had heard many tragic tales of the sort, after all. Soulmates that meet briefly only to be torn apart. People who are meant to each other, but who are destined to just weave in and out of each other’s lives, only having brief, blissful moments together.

She hates to admit it, but the idea of suffering such a fate keeps her awake, sometimes.

Tamarack was tired of holding her breath and waiting for other people to make decisions for her. Soulmates were a cosmic matter, beyond the reach of any plea or plan. And if people could be fickle and unreliable, she doubted the universe would be any more inclined to listen to her wishes.

Every year that passed, with her world continuing to be coloured in the greyscale she was so fond of, made her just a little more hopeful, dimming the fear and anxiety she had long grown used to.

But things have a way of changing when you least expect it.

This Halloween was different. It was her first as a teenager, and she had obsessed over her costume for weeks. How could she not? Everything felt more important this year, like the tiniest details suddenly carried the weight of her entire identity. Adding to the excitement, her Omi had mentioned something Tamarack couldn’t stop thinking about: after years of vacancy, someone had finally moved into the empty house next door.

Before she could head out for her own festivities, her omi invites her to deliver her homemade sweets to the new neighbours.

Tamarack stood on the porch of her grandparents’ house, the evening’s chill nipping at her nose. She adjusted her cape— a flimsy, dollar-store last minute addition to an otherwise well-planned witch costume. Her Omi had insisted on the traditional sweets, meticulously wrapped and sealed in clear plastic with small bows. Tamarack clutched the basket, feeling every bit the reluctant Little Red Riding Hood.

“Go on, sweetheart…” her Omi urged from the doorway, every bit as boisterous as she always was “First impressions are important!”

First impressions, Tamarack thought bitterly, only mattered if you planned on sticking around. Still, she trudged across the lawn to the new neighbor’s house, pausing at the edge of the worn wood porch, and the sparse decorations out on the lawn. It brought a smile to her face— the residents had likely not fully moved in yet, but they at the very least bothered to decorate for the occasion.

Her heart thudded as she raised a hand to knock, suddenly a little nervous. She looks back at her grandmother, who seems impatient enough to do it for her when suddenly…

The door swung open, and Tamarack’s breath caught in her throat.

A kid stood there, about her age, also wearing a costume, trying to add in the last accessories while answering the door. Behind them, she can see boxes piled into the living room.

“Uh, hi…” they said, eyes darting to the basket in her hands. “Trick-or-treat?”

Tamarack blinked, suddenly hyper-aware of the weight of the basket.

“Oh, um, no. I mean, yes. Sort of? My grandmother…”  She looks back towards her grandmother for a moment “Wanted me to bring these over.” 

Before she can offers the sweets, the kid’s mother, appears behind them— her Omi’s attention quickly shifting to the other adult as they commence introductions. Tamarack shyly, albeing awkwardly thrusts the basket forward, as a peace offering. 

Her new neighbour looks up for the first time, her red eyes meeting theirs.

It was like a silent firework had gone off in her mind, flooding every corner with color. The drab greyscale of the world she had grown so accustomed to was suddenly replaced by shades she didn’t have words for. The red of their costume was vibrant and rich, and the soft yellow light from the porch lamp bathed their features in a warmth that seemed dream-like.

Her knees felt weak, and her hands trembled as she tried to process the transformation. She glanced down at her own costume, marveling at the green hue of her skirt, the deep black of her cape that somehow seemed darker than before.

They were staring at her, wide-eyed. Their grip on the basket slackened, and a few candies tumbled out.

 “You’re seeing it too, right?” they whispered.

Tamarack nodded slowly. She leans down to grab the fallen candies just as her soulmate does. When their hands touch, they both pull back like it’s fire.  

The moment is awkward for just a second— before she laughs, and accompanies her.

Her heart pounded in her chest as a thousand thoughts jumbled together—fear, confusion, disbelief. She had spent years imagining this, dreading it, preparing for a moment that always seemed far away, out of reach.

Now, it was here.

Her world had changed in the blink of an eye, and she hadn’t even had time to catch her breath.

“I wasn’t ready for this.” 

She admitted softly, barely more than a whisper. The fallen candies back in her basket, and her heart feeling just a tad lighter.

“Same…” Her soulmate replied, in disbelief. “Well… It isn’t as bad like I feared it would be.”

Surprisingly, she shares the sentiment. 

Behind them, her Omi and MC’s mother were deep in conversation, already swapping stories and laughter as though they had known each other forever.

Tamarack barely noticed. Everything around her felt distant— muted compared to the colors she couldn’t stop staring at.

She forced herself to take a breath, steadying her nerves. This wasn’t what she had planned. It wasn’t what she wanted. But maybe… maybe it didn’t have to be as terrifying as she thought. Maybe this wasn’t the end of her carefully constructed world, but the start of something else.

Qiu

There was once a time in which Qiu longed to find their soulmate.

Back when things were brighter, easier. When the idea of finding the person that stood on the other side of their invisible string felt like an inevitability, a cheat code to meeting a new friend— their perfect equal, the way to make their life just a little more perfect. Golden grove was a little boring, but it was a little town brimming with potential, filled with wonderful things, little secrets, they knew of, and they were eager to share with their perfect match.

That hope belonged to a different version of Qiu, though.

A younger, more naive one. The boy with sparkling eyes and an eager need to please who he once believed themselves to be.

Now, it felt like a memory from someone else’s life, not their own. 

Regardless, it was a hope Qiu had held onto for an embarrassingly long amount of time. Even when things became less certain, and making new friends became a chore rather than an exciting prospect, they still hoped anyway.

Fantasised about their eyes meeting when they took their bows at the end of a ballet recital, the world blooming into colour as they found them in a crowd, eyes soft and adoring, their appearance shifting with every second they conjured their little daydream— not knowing what they would look like, but wishing that, just at having a glimpse of them in a dream, Qiu would just know.

Or perhaps in the bustling halls of school, a casual brush of shoulders with a new transfer student would change everything.

It occupied their thoughts during boring classes or frustrating days when no one understood them, no matter how much they tried to speak: the ever-shifting face of their soulmate, the kind eyes, the idea that someone would be able to tell them who they were, someone who’d instinctively know.

Not having found their soulmate, despite their increasingly desperate attempts to do so throughout their childhood, had been just another in a long list of disappointments in Qiu’s life. 

It was just another testament to a fact that terrified them: they didn’t know who they were, nor who they were supposed to be. People around them had an idea— expectations, their own stifling view of who Qiu Lin was, and the more they insisted on it, the less Qiu wished to fulfil their expectations.

Like with most other things, in recent times, they had just stopped trying.

Why should they even bother with a soulmate, anyway? They had lost so much time together already. The colours their parents had described sounded headache inducing, the idea of a soulmate stifling in a way it hadn’t before. They stopped greeting colleagues in the hallways and avoided any chance to meet new people. Their friendship circle was small, and ever dwindling— And it was better this way. 

A soulmate would just be another person to disappoint, after all. Like the list wasn’t long enough already. It was better for them, and for the poor soul tethered to them, if they didn’t meet at all.

For that reason, the first day of high school was terrifying.

Golden Grove’s only school rarely got transfers. The golden-haired whirlwind that was Tamarack, their neighbour, had been an exception. But what made Qiu particularly anxious was the sinking feeling that this was it. That something was in the air. Some deep, impending change they were too small to ever possibly stop.

They couldn’t stop it, but they could delay it, whoever.

If locking themselves in their room wasn’t an option, which Qiu was sure it wasn’t, then the solution was simple. Instead of heading straight to school, Qiu veered off course, slipping into the woods that gave Golden Grove its name. The golden leaves heralding autumn crunched beneath their sneakers as they made their way to the old bridge over the creek. It was a cherished spot, a secret place they’d often escaped to as a kid.

The boy’s club, with Tamarack as an honorary member, had once made it their domain.

They throw their gym bag on the floor, huffing as it falls with a thump on the top steps, leading to the small bridge. Qiu slumps right beside it, fishing their phone out of their pockets to shoot a quick message to Ren, reassuring him that they’d show up eventually, and putting some music on.

The crisp morning air helped clear their thoughts, even if the anxiety still simmered beneath the surface.

Skipping a few hours of school seemed worth the inevitable lecture they’d get at home. For now, they could breathe, even if just for a little.

“Excuse me…”

An unknown voice sounds from right behind them, above the sound of their music. They’re momentarily taken aback. No one ever came here. It was a local secret. Who else would be in a bridge in the woods in the early morning hours?

A gasp escaped their lips as the vibrant hues overwhelmed them. Blues, oranges, and reds assaulted their senses, a kaleidoscope of shades they had no names for.

It was too much.

Qiu squeezed their eyes shut, reeling from the sudden intensity.

The stranger staggered too, pages from a notepad— Qiu’s notepad,  slipping from their grasp and scattering across the bridge steps. Their wide eyes darted around as if trying to process the same blinding shift.

Qiu’s heart raced, cautiously grabbing one of the fallen pages. A note they had made a few weeks ago on ideas for Ren’s birthday gift. 

Had they led their soulmate straight to them without realizing it? The colours were no less dazzling now that they started getting used to them, but the feeling was slightly more bearable. The stranger’s hair gleamed like sunlight, their features sharp yet soft, framed by a hesitant, confused, smile.

“Are you okay?” the stranger asked, voice shaky but kind. They crouched to gather the rest of the  fallen pages, glancing up at Qiu with equal parts concern and awe.

Qiu’s mouth went dry. Words tumbled through their mind but refused to align into a coherent sentence.

They’d dreamed of this moment for years, yet nothing had prepared them for the overwhelming reality of actually meeting them.

“I…” They swallowed hard, trying again. “I didn’t think…”

The stranger smiled softly, offering a hand. 

“Me neither.”

Qiu hesitated before taking it.

Their hands touched, and the colors seemed to pulse, brighter and warmer, as if the universe was reaffirming the connection. For the first time in years, Qiu felt a glimmer of hope.

Maybe, just maybe, they hadn’t been wrong to dream after all.

[pukaparade]

My Experience Working as an Artist at Santae

Just want to start off by saying that this is simply my personal experience and that anything following the cut is simply my own opinion based off of that personal experience. Readers are encouraged to please employ their own critical thinking and taking many grains of salt when reading another person's experience, mine included. Anyway, my feelings and experiences following the cut.

To start off when I applied to Santae I was really excited to be a part of the project. It's a project that has a lot of promise and it seemed to set itself apart from other petsites I've played in the past. I was really eager to try and be a part of it and participate in the growth of the site and community.

When I joined the server I received the typical greeting - CJ pings everyone to welcome new staff not unlike a welcoming party. It was a bit overwhelming but seemed well-meaning.

There were a lot of little red flags that sprouted up after my joining that I ignored or tamped down writing them off as caused by stress or seeing them as things that could be grown from. (Badmouthing past management, poor communication, etc..)

I can't and won't go into massive detail about everything that put me off and drove me to finally split ways because it would be splitting hairs after a certain point and I also just don't have the time, energy, or care to go through things with such a meticulousness. This post is mostly to warn others who may be thinking of applying what to expect and to cast a little transparency on the work environment. There are a lot of allegations going around and understandably a lot of people are afraid to speak up. I've already quit so that can no longer be held over my head (but we'll come back to this) and the worst that will happen is I'll become a social pariah on the site, or my account will be banned. (Kind of expecting this, so if Kasper #2468 gets iced just know it wasn't by my own hand lmfao. If my KS backing and SC earned by commission get nuked in retaliation ig it's a consequence I'm willing to accept.)

To the friends I've made on the team and the folks that reached out after I quit and removed from the server - I'm glad we met. And thank you to the former coworker who offered to post my goodbye for me after reaching out to me in DM (I declined because I didn't want anyone being ~ tainted~ by association lol) I was in the middle of typing a goodbye when I was unceremoniously removed from the server. When I joined staff got to say goodbye and some even hung around for weeks after parting ways, but since Sky was removed without being able to say goodbye it seems like being instantly deleted might just be the new standard. Not to mention the other artist who was just removed overnight without even a comment. To everyone else, I kind of assumed our camaraderie was as fickle and transient as my time on the team and wasn't surprised to be proven right. I'm sure it doesn't help that (in my experience) CJ has a habit of hopping into VC to badmouth anyone who doesn't align with his vision.

Anyway this is super disjointed already. Let's get onto some specifics.

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"You didn't even need reply ^_^"

I mentioned that the pings were stressful because we had already received multiple about this 'game' and it was getting stressful. When I mentioned that, I got a passive aggressive dm and followup about it afterwards. I will also note that a coworker added an agreeing 'react' to my post about the pings which cj then. removed. lol. I did not reply to the message bc by now I was tired of the manipulation games.

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Commission Discomfort

I held off confronting about this for a long time because I feel that CJ does not take confrontation well and didn't want to make things worse for myself of others but by the end I was nearing my limit and needed to enforce a firm boundary.

I did some graphics work under the expectation that I'd be getting a divine figurine for it and had to follow up multiple times as usual, at which point CJ tried to pin it on a fellow artist coworker 'making him uncomfortable'. This is a common trend with poor communication on the team.

"management" would prefer that staff not commission site artists. This just always rubbed me wrong, especially after the, in my opinion, territorial behavior over me doing commissions. I also dmed some coworkers about it since he said he'd 'tell all the other artists' but no one else had gotten any similar messages from him.

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Streaming in Server

When I started it was pretty casual for art staff to stream site work or personal work in the vc. I stopped streaming personal things after the first uncomfortable dm I got when working on an offsite comm and stuck to santae only work from then on. I don't have a screenshot of my own that I can use for this unfortunately but cj sent a message saying

"Hey @ artist @ lead artist @ lead clothing artist I would like to stop streaming art in the staff voice chat channel as technically the behind the scenes is for BMaC so it's just a gray area, however I would love if you all still wanted to stream but would like you all to stream via our Twitch platform or TikTok

Login credentials will be provided as well.

This is a perfect time to stream with the referral contest live it would be very beneficial I believe.

If you would like to stream please reach out to me, There will be SC pay for streaming, 5sc per hour with a max of 4 hours per day and max of 10 hours per week per artist :dravalove: your normal pay rates also apply this is just additional :heart:"

When the most recent artist to stream asked about back-pay for the stream done for the site the response was a gif of an empty wallet and a crying shimmerint emoji. These messages were later deleted.

further commentary as follows -

The only reason anyone noticed he deleted his messages was because in voicechat when other staff were asking why we don't steam anymore he said 'oh I deleted that' and then said that we can stream again in vc. This was followed the day after that vc by the following

CJ not only shared images to the BMaC in my time, but also would take the images directly from the art approvals channel and drop them into the staff vc anyway to show them off to whoever was around. Frankly this felt like shit every single time and felt like he just wanted the dopamine hit of people complimenting the art. Rarely were we credited during the fawning, too.

A fellow staff reached out to ask why I wasn't around as much, this staff member was in the same vc where he said it was ok again. CJ in my opinion likes to say things one way publicly but then if there's an issue he'll take it to dms or involve as few people as possible. To me his public and private faces are very different.

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Final Straw

The screenshots from above reposted below

As you can see, they're clearly the same, lol. I will also mention that these plush items take twice as long to do and require more revisions than other items. On top of that I have concept art that I can't share due to NDA of the heartstruck concept - full roughs of the pets that I was not compensated for in any way. None of this was discussed prior to me starting the work which is my own fault and not a mistake I'll make again. I spent days, long consecutive hours working on the concepts before I could even start on the plush themselves. This time and the work I put in will remain unpaid.

Something I noticed while I was putting this together is that CJ has deleted at least one message from our dms, which is funny because the message I noticed got deleted is one that I had originally read as being sent with the intention to manipulate -

I have also been reached out to by a former coworker with a 'message from cj' which I declined. Respectfully, I've got you blocked for a reason man. If I had to guess he probably feels like there's something he needs to smooth over to cover his ass but I'm just not interested.

Overall my experience on art staff was quite stressful and the environment definitely felt like there was an in- and out- crowd that was decided by how present you are in vc and how willing you are to participate in the toxic positivity and bobble-head nodding. Also, getting frequently misgendered to your face and behind your back is a special kind of torture.

Anyway, I could probably ramble on more about the time he burst into voice call while I was in there with a coworker and ranted about another coworker for like 20 minutes totally ignoring me before just leaving, or how he's always talking shit about people behind their backs (hi new admins) but not to their faces but I don't have receipts for any of that. Nor energy. And besides there are other places where folks air their grievances and allegations if that's what you're looking for. So I guess I'll leave it here, take care y'all.

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

One thing I do like about TOTJ's take on Dooku's fall is that it really highlights that the Dark Side makes you absolutely masochistic. (Mega long post ahead).

One thing TOTJ establishes is that Qui-Gon's death is absolutely on Dooku (no matter if the show itself doesn't seem to be aware of it).

His tone is concerned and his attitude sympathetic and supportive, but he knows. He knows it's a Sith Lord (he even knows Maul's name). He knows Qui-Gon almost died and is marching right into another trap, but he asks questions anyway and affects ignorance.

"I've been warning them about the coming darkness for years," he says, "never to be taken seriously." Using the Council's skepticism as an occasion to complain about how they didn't believe him while lying by omission is a great case of that hypocrisy Dooku loves denouncing in others. Dooku would rather Qui-Gon share his disillusionment with the Jedi than actually do anything to help Qui-Gon. The Council don't believe him? Okay, Dooku, but YOU DO. You can just tell him what's going on.

But he doesn't.

On some level, Dooku has to be aware of what's about to happen. Qui-Gon is walking into grave danger, and Dooku's response to that - before it happens, when there is still time to stop it - is to put the blame on the people who don't know shit while not doing shit himself. (Why can't Dooku be there to protect Qui-Gon, other than because he's already slavishly loyal to Sidious' plans?)

And this moment puts every subsequent action of Dooku's throughout the Prequels in perspective - particularly his relationships with Obi-Wan, Ventress and Yoda.

Dooku is a glutton for punishment.

I've written here about why I think the 'Box' from TCW 4x17 is meant to parallel Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon's mission on Naboo. The dioxis, ventilation shafts, the catwalks and lightsabers, the ray shields, the fire pit... Dooku's idea of a test to find the best mercenaries around is to have them survive what killed Qui-Gon (what he allowed to happen).

During the challenge, it's pretty obvious he starts to suspect Hardeen is Obi-Wan.

Or at the very least, he's taking an interest in the man who supposedly killed Qui-Gon's own apprentice - Dooku's spiritual grandson (see RotS novelization), whom he's been trying very hard to either recruit or kill himself. And what does he do with that interest? Tries to push "Hardeen" to kill Eval in anger.

Dooku, who still mourns the Padawan he knowingly let walk away to his death, watches a pantomime of his Padawan's death, while putting in mortal danger all he has left of said apprentice. If he knows Hardeen is Obi-Wan (and it's pretty obvious that he does), he tries to get Obi-Wan to Fall (or potentially die) in a scenario reenacting Qui-Gon's death. If he doesn't know for sure, then he's encouraging his all but grandson's killer to win the tournament because he admires him (for killing someone Dooku wanted by his side).

Whatever the outcome, Dooku chooses to relive his guilt and chooses to make the same choice to kill his loved one all over again, even though we know he hates that he made this choice:

He misses Qui-Gon and needs him but tries to kill or destroy Obi-Wan, whom he needs and wants by his side. (I haven't counted just how many time he does try killing Obi-Wan in TCW while still expressing his indefectible admiration for him - it's frequent, the Box just stands out to me as one of the most noteworthy occasions.)

And he keeps doing stuff like that!! He keeps choosing the path that causes him the most pain. He does it with Sifo-Dyas, he does it with Yaddle, he does it with Yoda and he does it with Ventress.

Just look at him confronting Sidious about Qui-Gon's death:

He KNOWS following Sidious got Qui-Gon murdered and he KNOWS Sidious will continue to kill or order him to kill people close to him. And yet he's quick to reassure Sidious that this doesn't change anything. Securing his position with Sidious matters more than his rage and grief. The ONLY WAY this behavior makes sense is if Dooku is fully aware that he had a choice about Qui-Gon's fate, and decides that this is the path he's on now: Sidious might make him kill everyone he cares about, but he's going to do it. Every time, things will play out the same.

Sidious tells him to kill Ventress, his new apprentice? Sure, why not!

(And it's not even out of true loyalty for Sidious, because he constantly tries to double-cross him later on. It's pure self-destruction:)

He hates it, Sidious promises him more of it, and he goes along with it!

This is why Yaddle's attempts at bringing him back don't work, in my opinion:

"Whatever lies he's told you, whatever you have done, you can make up for it now by bringing him to justice." This might convince a man who is looking for atonement, except Dooku isn't. He is looking for punishment.

Killing or harming those close to him leaves him broken, furious or in pain? He'll just keep doing it.

Sidious offers him nothing more than agonizing slavery? He'll keep on kneeling.

That's when Yaddle literally offers him the Light - the light that is so much more powerful than the Dark that it has Sidious cowering, the light that can save him if he wants - Dooku just strikes her down, even though he was heartbroken over thinking he had killed her just a moment ago.

He chooses to kill her, regrets it and hates himself for it, and chooses to kill her again. HE KEEPS MAKING THE CHOICE THAT HE KNOWS WILL HURT.

His remedy to guilt is to pick a shovel, because by God if he hasn't hit rock bottom yet he's going to dig!

[ngage2003]

Hi I love your mh character analysis posts they are so GOOD, would you be able to do more about Tim pretty please :]

First of all, Thank you :-)! Second of all, yeah I have some things I can say about Tim, though a bit funnily, they are a bit discoordinated compared to some of my other analyses.

After all, out of all the characters in Marble Hornets, Tim Wright is the one we know most about, as his life is laid out for us pretty definitely over the course of the series. Because of this, my focus tends to be on his metaphorical other half, Masky, but I do have some things to say about the two of them and their upbringing, and a few unanswered questions which I will try to satisfactorily put my pen to.

⟦content warning: discussions of child abuse/dangerous households, suicide, hospitals, and wildly off the rails theorycrafting⟧

Alright, so why is Tim a system? This is a question some of you may raise your eyebrow at if you're unfamiliar with DID but stick with me here. We know that Tim only started being taken by the Operator and having seizures in 1995, when he was a child, but over seven years old. (I'll get into how we know this later.) We as a society honestly don't know a lot about Dissociative Identity Disorder and its sisters but one thing we do know is it is caused by extensive stress/trauma inducing dissociation in a extremely young childhood, usually under the age of seven if not even younger, where the mind dissociating from trauma to protect itself causes it to fail to coalesce/develop properly into one identity. That is the main theory behind how DID forms, and given that Tim is only seeming to be extensively exposed to the Operator at seven, but would that be enough for Tim to develop DID? Alex didn't develop it, despite also being hinted at having been exposed to it at the same age.

Note: In enttry #37, we see a home video of Alex at 6 years old in 1991, with heavy Operator distortion implying that it has somehow corrupted this tape and/or was here. This combined with the fact Alex repeatedly goes to a playground to confront/find the Operator in my opinion more or less guarantees that he saw it as a young child. This makes sense especially considering the original "Something Awful" forum pictures in my opinion. Alex's backstory with the Operator basically directly references them, which would make sense since they literally inspired the series.

Granted, you could just hand wave this or go "ok but who cares, they probably weren't even trying to make a character with DID," and yeah, you're right, but I want to actually look at Tim's character and explore his childhood a bit to try to understand it, especially in relation to this fact.

Our main fount of information in relation to Tim's childhood is Entry 66 and Entry 60.5. I am going to start with the latter, for a few very specific reasons.

See, in Entry 60.5, we actually get to see 5 of Tim's medical documents, not just one. This is a fact that is seemingly forgotten a lot by the fandom, and I wanted to get into it for my speculation.

The first document we see though is a Pediatric Admissions Profile from December 12th 1995, followed up by a Pediatric Admissions Assessment of the same year at 11:45 A.M. I do not believe these records are from his institutionalization, but rather a hospital visit that directly proceeded it, one that was probably caused by Tim having a seizure at home and needing to go to the hospital, but lets take this one step at a time.

These Admissions forms explain that Tim's conditions and symptoms at his time of admittance, ones we know well as products of Operator exposure. They also give us a precious piece of information that never comes up again though.

Tim's mom's name.

Janet Wright answers all the questions on the Pediatric Admissions Profile, and it is through her answers that we learn several facts, like that Tim has completed 2nd grade at the time of these papers, (meaning he is probably in 3rd,) and that he is on an anti-convulsant, along with the fact he has a history of falls, apparently needs/has glasses, has emotional barriers to learning, that someone has smoked in the house in the past year, and that Tim lives at home alone with her.

This is something reaffirmed on the PA Assessment, which was probably something that either a nurse or his Psychiatrist filled out by asking Tim himself questions.

Under Category 5., Assistance required for Care, there is a part where it says that for emotional support, "Child relys on: Mother (✓) Father ( ) Sibling ( )". Additionally, it also says asks, "who else besides parents might be staying with child?" Which is answered with a Not Applicable, along with the question, "has your family had any recent changes in your life? (moved, divorce, birth, death, new job, etc.)" Which is also answered with a no.

It continues, and we learn from it that Tim has poor orientation to time along with his chronic headaches, as well as signs and symptoms of depression, as well as that he struggles to engage with peers his age and doesn't have/begin hobbies.

Most importantly though, it is mentioned that his condition isn't affected by his household, which could refer to simply his seizures, but I think is important to mention given his depressive symptoms. At least in this moment, it doesn't seem like to the person doing the assessment that Tim is depressed due to his mom.

(Though that can be hard to pick up on but regardless.)

We also learn that he experiences high risk on a Fall Assessment Scale, as he is checked off as "confused, disoriented, hallucinating, combative," and having a history of "syncope, seizures,"—which is underlined—"postural hypotension".

I believe he only really started to have seizures this year though, as it is mentioned under "Plan of Care" that he ran away from home two "somethings" ago before being found at Rosswood, which I believe to be weeks or months. (If it was two years, why still mention it here?) I don't think that Tim ran away though, but rather, was taken and teleported by the Operator and Operatortured, an event that left him having chronic seizures. After all, despite Jay being exposed to the Operator for years, we only see him begin to have those only after the Operator snatches him in Entry 72. I think this snatching/possible Operatorture is key in it inducing/beginning to induce seizures.

Moving on though, two of the next three documents are from the same day, with both being from 7/8/02.

The first (Delayed Therapy Communication Form) that we are shown being filled out at 15:10 or 3:10 PM, and the second being an assessment (Suicide/Self-Harm Assessment Tool) that was filled out at 8:45 in the morning, probably by hospital staff in preparation for therapy later in the day. On the latter, Tim was left with a rather high suicide risk score, and a comment of supposedly untrustworthy answers.

There is a document that Jay reads sandwiched between these two though, from 1/10/Year Redacted. It is a Brief Operative Progress Note, about a procedure seemingly in relation to an unmedical wound with a ton of redacted information, and based on placement and the fact "Hoody" purposefully arranged the papers like this, I believe he was trying to imply to Jay that this was a suicide attempt by Tim at the start of 1996, which led to his hospitalization.

-

Wow. Ok. That was a lot. Let's summarize and break down the facts though.

At the end of 1995, Tim Wright is being raised by his single mother, Janet Wright, with it being unclear if his dad was ever in the picture. Tim was probably in 3rd grade at the end of 1995, which puts him at around eight to nine years old. At this point, he seemingly had a history of seizures, but around this time he also started showing symptoms of depression, hallucinations and even supposedly "ran away" from home at one point.

It seems like Hoody, based on how he organized these papers, seems to want us to think that at the start of 1996, Tim had either a suicide attempt, or a violent episode that could've been misconstrued as a suicide attempt.

Note: Personally, I think it was misconstrued. I say this because well, we know how the Operator can warp reality, and in Entry 66 Tim says, "My mom [sent me inpatient] when I was really young, but she never told me exactly why," and that the doctors seemingly gossiped about the fact he had violent episodes and hallucinations which led to him being institutionalized, which he doesn't remember. Of course, maybe Tim was just lying to Jay and leaving stuff out, but based on the rest of this scene and everything else he says, I find that unlikely. I think it is possible that Masky tried to defend himself and Tim from the Operator and got hurt in the process, and due to his lack of verbality and strange/differing behavior from Tim's, it was interpreted as a violent and/or suicidal episode cause by a hallucination. Either way, none of this does align with the fact the wound is "clean," but that could be more about it not being infected and/or recent than a clean cut.

Either way, after this, in conjunction with advice from doctors and the stress of caring for a mentally ill child and hospital visits/bills, Janet Wright admitted Tim into inpatient care.

It is after this point, (based on dialogue from Entry 66,) that we know Tim sort of fell out with his mother, as she "wasn't really around" for him to ask things. I can't say why she distanced herself from him, and honestly that is where my sympathy runs dry for her, but we know based on what Tim doesn't say that he more or less didn't have any family. His mother was probably raising him on her own, and her decision to put him inpatient probably had to do with the fact she just couldn't care for him and genuinely thought it would be better/safer.

Ok. Cool. Unfortunately, still none of this answers the question as to why Tim is a system. Based on all this supplementary evidence though, I do have two kind of routes/ideas I could see as possible/likely which I want to share, so pick your poison.

A】 Janet Wright was neglectful, either by accident or on purpose.

Neglect can cause DID, especially severe emotional neglect causing a disruption in child development, and if Tim's dad was never in the picture, along with the stresses of being a single mom, it could be hard for Ms Wright to meet Tim's needs. Maybe she didn't even want to be a parent, but found out she was pregnant to late, and so decided to "give it a shot."

The real mold in the juice box for this theory though is the fact that Tim's medical records (Pediatric Admission Assessment, Page 2, 6. Abuse/Neglect/Exploitation Screen) answers no to "evidence of neglect by caretakers." Granted however, this is when Tim is in 3rd grade, and it can be hard to always pick up on emotional neglect. Perhaps it could be misconstrued as depressive symptoms for example, and Tim's issues with starting hobbies and connecting with peers could be due to him not being properly socially met/developed growing up, but honestly I am unsure how I fully feel about this theory.

What it comes down to is just that, besides knowing she smokes regularly, we don't know much about Janet Wright, and while she fell out of touch with Tim, that could be for literally any number of reasons. Demonizing her or deifying her both kind of make me grimace. Maybe she blames herself for his condition and her guilt drives her away, and after a while she felt it would be wrong of her to go back after abandoning Tim in the first place. Maybe she just never wanted a kid and took the option to ditch him. The point I am getting at is we just don't know.

Which is what brings me to theory two.

B】 Tim's dad was in some way abusive, causing Janet to leave him to protect Tim but leaving him with trauma.

It would explain why Tim's dad isn't in the picture in a way that feels concrete, and why Tim never tried to reach out to his dad's side along with why he has DID. Maybe too, if Janet was in an abusive relationship, that somehow got in the way of her reaching out to her side of the family, which is why Tim never did either and why she didn't have any help for raising him and dealing with his conditions.

I don't really have much to say on this one either, but it would explain why there isn't direct evidence of neglect along with why his mom isn't blamed for his depressive symptoms by the doctor and why Tim said in his Assessment that he relies on his mom for emotional support. That is because he does, but they were just unfortunately in a situation for a while where he couldn't properly get it.

Sure, she probably isn't perfect, but in this reading she does care for him, and did try to get him a better life.

I think this would especially make sense when you consider the fact that Masky, Tim's protector alter, has a feminine presentation.

Often alters formed in especially early youth will take heavy direct inspiration from their environment, especially parents. Maybe since Tim's mom did protect him some of the time and eventually got him away from his dad, this idea of her and by extension femininity as a whole being this unstoppable, almost deified force of nature stuck with him on a subconscious level. She was fierce and seemed impenetrable, especially to a little kid who idolizes their caregiver in the face of abuse, and I think that influenced why Tim's brain made a protector like Masky that is simultaneously feminine aligned out of the blue and so aligned with defending people/defensive violence.

Because yes, Masky is violent, and often they do threaten/attack Alex with "Hoody," but that could easily be because they remember the fact Alex attacked them in Entry 56/57 along with stuff like the fact "Hoody" most likely told them about how Alex killed him and needs to be taken care of. They know Alex is dangerous, and so a lot of their actions are protective or in an attempt to save other people.

Like, in Entry 35, their motives can be hard to read, yes, but if they just wanted to fight someone they could have easily gone for Jay instead of running past him to get Alex. I actually think they could've easily been waiting here because they knew Alex was following Jay and this was the last place Jay was, and they wanted to stop Alex from getting to him because he could (and literally does) try to kill Jay. Along with this incident, they stop Alex from shooting Jay and Jessica in Entry 52, and seemingly distract him while those two escape and drive away to safety. They also act to protect/save Jessica from the Operator and Alex with Hoody in Entry 76. They also seemingly only stop directly working with Hoody after he hurts Tim, i.e. causing him to have a seizure to trigger them out, which Masky seeming to sever their partnership over.

Listen, there's no answer as to why Masky is feminine, and maybe there doesn't need to be, but based on how DID works and Masky's general behavior, to me it is obvious that they took subconscious inspiration from something, and I think it could be how their mom protected them and Tim.

Note: This is not to say Masky and Tim have a maternal/parental relationship, even if Masky is partially based on their mom in an abstract sense. In my opinion, they have a relationship almost similar to like, how siblings will go through trauma together and be bonded by that fact because they wholly understand what the other person is going through, or how a slightly older child might try to take care of a younger one and be parent-ified but still while not holding the authority and control of a parent, though obviously different because they're a system. I guess my main point though is that they're equals, and Masky loves Tim very much. Masky does have some power over Tim because they cause amnesia when they front during traumatic episodes and accidentally puts him in danger sometimes, but ultimately they have a more push-pull relationship to me, even if Tim isn't aware of it. Because, even if Masky does front sometimes, Tim is usually the one in control almost all of the time. But really that's another post I could make lmao.

Either way, whatever way you think Tim got DID, one thing is clear. His life fucking sucks.

-

If you want my personal belief on what his childhood is like, taken with a bit of salt, I don't think Janet Wright is purely innocent, (she could've very easily been incidentally neglectful given the vagueness of the circumstances,) but I do think that Tim's dad could have been a shithead if only because of how it parallels my Alex headcanons and I like that, along with Masky being based on their mom aesthetically to some extent.

(As a system, I loveee system weirdness.)

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed.

[houseki-no-suffering]

Hey! I found a post of yours (specifically a phos analysis) from a looong while ago. Just curious to hear what your thoughts on the last chapters and the conclusion of the story are!

I recently finished the manga after putting it off for 4 years, and it was an incredible but such a bittersweet read. Maybe it's just me being a sucker for happy endings, but man, it really did not get happier </3

And you probably already know this, but did you know that Ichikawa released the last chapter the same day a comet flew by that looked exactly like the comet from the last chapter? Really cool stuff but I am emotionally destroyed haha

I suppose it was the only kind of happy ending HnK could have, and I don't think I mind it as much as other things that have happened in the last few chapters. It reads more HnK than anything that has happened in the past 1-2 years of serialization.

I appreciate the bittersweet notes (always have) and Ichikawa's words that this is how she wanted the story to end, it doesn't happen to every mangaka. Also, the comet bit is such a nice touch.

As for Phos (I suppose this is the post you meant?), I do believe that they got a happy ending.

If you think about it, instead of becoming a lunarian and being prayed away like the others, Phos' journey gave them the power and knowledge to rise above them. Thanks to their flaws (being brittle, having special inclusions, maybe being the most human of all the gems) they became human, the most flawed of creatures, and basically reverted to the purity of a child, a god, sin-less (even if this is a Buddhist story, so idk if I can actually speak of sin) and therefore free of everything that made humanity always dissatisfied, dangerous and unhappy. The others renounced existence, Phos found a way to reach paradise.

Humanity doesn't come out of this looking like a nice bunch of people to hang out with, and neither do the lunarians (gems included at this point). And yet, there's so much compassion in everything Phos does: a kind child, up until the very end.

I always speculated (and was not alone in this) that Phos' job would become to pray the lunarians/everyone away, find Cinnabar the job to kill them, become a Bodhisattva... in this, I believe, the story remained true to itself. What I believe no one saw coming was how shallow(?) it all seemed in the end.

Everyone came back, making Phos' sacrifices and suffering basically meaningless, everyone started getting along and solving centuries-old problems in seconds. Then, Ichikawa introduced so many new changes abruptly... It felt rushed, lazy and overly simple, when most of us loved HnK for its complexity and depth.

Maybe it was because Ichikawa wanted (or needed to) end the series with ch 108. Usually, when mangaka put a limit to the chapters they want to write, it really damages the story and I wasn't a fan of this even in this situation.

Aside from these issues, I appreciate how Ichikawa seemed to care about the character of Phos.

Maybe this all happened so that Phos could be happy, maybe this was the only possible way for Phos to be happy? It would be a little bit like in Devilman, where the world basically ends only so that Satan can understand love. Idk, little old Phos didn't seem that desperate a case, they just wanted truth, yes, this did cause some... issues, but other than that they're a sweetheart.

This is the leitmotif of the series, after all: Phos is a kind, selfless gem who cultivates a deep sense of self-hatred.

They internalize a pressure and a need to feel useful (coming from gem society) and turn them into a necessity for change (unlike in gem society). Initially, they want to find a job. Then, they want to help Cinnabar find a job, then they want to help Ventricosus, then then want to become a fighter, then they want to help sensei, then the gems, then the lunarians...

Contrary to most of the other gems, Phos loves and loves openly and unconditionally. They start off as a self-less creature who believes that their life isn't worth anything. Therefore, they put it on the line time and time again and, eventually, lose it time and time again as they change form.

It's their journey towards truth and happiness: they change and lose pieces of themselves, forget things, renounce gem-ness in favor of humanity and then humanity for god-hood.

Phos changes until they find the form that makes them happy. Their purest, happiest form. They change so much that they come back to square one almost: they become pure Phosphophyllite, with no inclusions at all. Still fragile, still small, but selfless and cheerful. Carefree.

In a sense, HnK ends with Phos becoming Phos.

[youremyheaven]

Moon Dominance & Manipulation pt 2

TW: murder, rape, genocide, violence, assault, death etc etc

Here's part 1

In part 1, I spoke about the manipulative nature of Moon dominant people, in this post I will be exploring it further and providing more examples.

I think its interesting that the Moon dominant nakshatras, namely, Rohini, Hasta & Shravana are Manushya gana (Rohini) and Deva gana (Hasta & Shravana). It is very telling because even though these natives say and do terrible things, they enjoy squeaky-clean reputations and people usually perceive them as angels. If they were Rakshasa gana people would see through their bs more quickly.

Ariana Grande- Hasta Moon conjunct Jupiter

Ariana has said and done numerous problematic things over the years, from cheating scandals, blackfishing, donutgate, being extremely rude and arrogant, changing races every few years, to cringe ass over-sexualised lyrics, to being a homewrecker, Ariana is super duper messy YET she enjoys public and media support and is seen as America's sweetheart. Other people have lost their careers for less but Ari gets away with absolutely everything. She publicly admitted that Pete was her rebound guy (she was engaged to him) which is such a shitty thing to do to someone?? Like imagine if the genders were reversed lol

Ariana is a solid example of always seeming like the innocent person even though she's the messy one. Even with her latest album, its pretty obvious who cheated on who but she's been subtle enough with her music to make it seem like her ex cheated on her (she made him sign an NDA upon divorce which in itself is SOOO sketchy like what is she afraid of him revealing????) to imply things like that when you've put the other person in a position where they literally cannot speak for themselves is peak Moon dominant manipulation. She then posted a half assed story on IG asking fans to stop attacking "people in her life",,, its so apparent that she incited the whole thing in a super calculated manner and once she got what she wanted, she tries to pretend to be the good guy whose fans did all the terrible stuff🙄

Selena Gomez, Pushya Stellium, Mercury in Ashlesha atmakaraka (they both lie in Cancer which is Moon ruled)

I wouldn't have included rashi rulership but Selena is an exception. She's the queen of playing the victim and is second only to Meghan Markle. Selena sets her fans on different hate trains every other week. She's very wary of showing support to social causes. She worked with Woody Allen. She treated her best friend & kidney donor like shit, was a terrible gf to Justin Bieber, treated Demi like shit during a really tough period of Demi's life, can't sing at all yet, produced a whole TV show (13RW) that is extremely triggering for people with mental health issues and was advised by MANY to change things but she just didn't??? honestly, if you watch her documentary you can see how she's the most self-absorbed narcissistic person, every single thing has to be about her all the time.

Despite all this, Selena is almost universally loved.

Amy Dunne from Gone Girl is THE best example of a Moon-dominant person and the extent to which they'll go to ruin your life. Amy Dunne was played by Rosamund Pike who has Shravana Sun conjunct Mars

Amy had such a squeaky clean image that it was impossible to convince anybody that she was the sociopath who tried to fake her own death.

Leonardo DiCaprio- Hasta Moon

Leo is a creepy middle aged man who only dates women under 25, lives for the yacht life and spends his free time partying and doing drugs, all of which is fine but these are things that other Hollywood men come under fire for ALL the time, yet Leo is pretty much everyone's favourite, he's the environmentalist humanitarian even tho he's private jetting to his private island to party with models, even tho he's received flak in the last couple of years for dating women much younger than him, its still more of a running gag than anything serious. He hasn't suffered because of it in any way. His reputation is still intact.

John Lennon- Hasta Sun, Shravana Moon

John was a wife beating, child beating, abusive to multiple women, made fun of people with disabilities, pretended to be an anti establishment hippie even though he accepted an MBE from the Queen of England (he returned it years later in protest) and yet he is remembered as a counterculture icon and one of the most talented musicians ever. He was a violent abusive man who preached peace. Although he was a philanderer himself, he was obsessively jealous and possessive towards the women he became involved with. Lennon was an extremely wealthy man who lived a rich lifestyle, but he said that we should "imagine" a world with no possessions or greed. In short, he was a hypocrite. Yet he is still remembered fondly unlike sooo many other figures in history.

Amal Clooney, Shravana Sun conjunct Venus

speaking of hypocrisy, here's Mrs Clooney, the human rights lawyer who wears $34,000 worth of clothes while championing the poor. She attends gala and balls wearing clothes worth thousands of dollars to "raise money for charity" whilst being married to a man who has a net worth of $500 million. Like I'm sure he could just write a cheque?? The Clooneys throw a lot of charity balls/dinners/parties etc as well and its so funny to me because its obvious they're doing it to keep a certain image before the media, whilst also getting all glammed up and having fun, without doing anything tangible to actually help anybody. imagine your job is to represent refugees, unfairly imprisoned heads of state and advise the UN and you also split time between 5 different mansions all over USA and Europe in private jets lol yet Amal enjoys a good reputation for being a girlboss

Gwyneth Paltrow- Rohini Moon

Lady Goop is a nepo baby and has a net worth of $200 million yet she feels the need to make money off of people by selling bullshit wellness products like $55 sex oils, $400 meditation mats, mouth tape, vibrators, theraguns, vitamins, health supplements and god knows what else?? She's one of the many westerners who sell commercial spiritual nonsense to the masses but coming from someone as rich as she is?? like maa'm?? she promotes so much alternate medicine bullshit on her podcast as well, there is obviously real actually helpful alternate herbal treatments/medicine etc etc BUT that's not her focus she talks about getting rectal ozone therapy (not kidding) and shoving garlic in her ears to clear her chakras and spreads misinformation. there are plenty of people in america who can't access health care, imagine how you're endangering them by suggesting that rose quartz and mouth tapes and candles will cure you. She promotes a eating disordered diet as a "healthy one". all in all, she's sketchy but people just make fun of her and don't see her as someone manipulating innocent people into buying super expensive "alternate medicine" from Goop.

Helena Blavatsky- Hasta Moon & Venus

Helena is the co-founder of the Theosophical Society and was an international leader figure in the Theosophical community. She basically helped promote eastern spirituality and philosophy in the West except that she's lied about pretty much her whole life, so its hard to confirm literally anything about her. She died in 1891 so at the time when she was alive there was no way for others to prove whether or not she was lying, they just had to take her word for it. She lied about training with sages in Tibet and lied about her mystical experiences, plagiarised ancient eastern texts to write about her "spiritual discoveries" etc There's plenty of proof that she was nothing but a charlatan yet I find it interesting how she still has a devoted following and even in her lifetime enjoyed a good reputation as a mystic medium lmao

Ranbir Kapoor, Hasta Sun & Mercury, Shravana Moon & Rohini Rising

Ranbir gets a lot of hate as of late but for the most part he has enjoyed a really good reputation despite being a shitty person.

Jeane Dixon- Rohini rising

She was a psychic and astrologer who predicted the JFK assassination.

John Allen Paulos, a mathematician at Temple University, explored the tendency of Dixon and her fans to promote her few correct predictions while ignoring the larger number of incorrect predictions, naming this habit "the Jeane Dixon effect."

Many of Dixon's predictions proved erroneous, such as her claims that a dispute over the islands of Quemoy and Matsu would trigger the start of World War III in 1958, that American labor leader Walter Reuther would run for president of the United States in the 1964 presidential election, that the second child of Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau and his young wife Margaret would be a girl (it was a boy), and that the Soviets would be the first to put men on the Moon. (excerpt from her wiki)

basically she had no real powers but managed to convince others she did, her clients included Ronald and Nancy Reagan lol

Jordan Peterson, Hasta Moon , Rohini Mercury & Shravana Ketu

He is a good example of the worst type of Moon dominant man. He has said among other things:

That class conflict is a natural and eternal struggle for existence that no political or economic revolution could ameliorate. The individual must develop an aggressive, alpha-male attitude in order to climb the social ladder. Peterson is kind of obsessed with power (all Moon dominants are lol) acc to him only a strong will, exercising itself against a contingent and meaningless world — and against the weak — can one ever hope to flourish.

Jordan Peterson endorses the idea that some men are purposely denied sex by women and that conventionally attractive men are 'taking all the sex' from other 'deserving' men. As a result, he suggests that by assigning women to men and pressuring them to 'settle' and have sex with isolated men, they wouldn't be so "angry at God" and commit acts of mass violence and murder. This, as well as criticizing birth control and saying that women would be happier if they just "allow themselves to be transformed by nature into mothers," is dangerous rhetoric that reinforces patriarchal violence against women.

He's a manipulative asshole who propagates his sexist harmful chauvinistic views as pseudoscience or psychology ew

Freud- Rohini Moon, Hasta Mars

i couldn't make a post about Moon dominance and manipulation without mentioning the godfather of promoting his fucked up worldviews as science, Mr Sigmund Freud aka the most successful Moon manipulator who has caused permanent lasting damage to society

Sigmund believed that homosexuality in men is neurotic but not particularly problematic. Lesbianism, however, he considered a gateway to mental illness.

This (according to Sigmund) is because only men have moral sense. We all evolve from apes, so no human is born with it. But boys acquire morality through the castration complex—the fear that their fathers will emasculate them for their misbehavior.

Having nothing obvious to neuter, girls and women are essentially amoral, lying and conniving to get what they want. Girls must be guided through civilized life by a father, and a woman by a husband. And because they choose not to marry, lesbians remain loose cannons, fundamentally untrustworthy and unstable.

His daughter Anna was his closest intellectual and emotional companion. Yet she was a lesbian.

Freud taught that lesbianism is always the fault of the father and is curable by psychoanalysis.

Freud cautioned followers that analysis is an erotic relationship. Analyst and patient together must scrutinize the amorous feelings that flow between them. This being the case, by rules he asked his followers to honor, Freud could not attempt to cure his own daughter’s lesbianism.

 he also overgeneralized a lot of his “findings” such as the oedipus complex to apply to all people, which was harmful in the early stages of the formation of psychology. today most of his theories are disproven and widely considered problematic. Freud was obsessed with sex and made everything about sex (Moon men are sex addicts and every Moon man I've mentioned so far has a weird relationship with women)

he is credited with being the first psychologist to actually listen to women's problems but when he did listen to them, and many of them told them of their SA experiences, he changed the narrative to "women want to screw their daddies so they have these dreams/fantasies of sexual encounters in childhood" (the Electra/Oedipus Complex) to sell his books. He LIED basically, he manipulated the truth into something disgusting.

Freud is credited with making psychology a legitimate field and for it gaining attention worldwide but he literally manipulated, lie, overgeneralised and in general spewed a lot of toxic nonsense in order to get attention, like Gwyneth with Goop or Helena with Theosophy.

Sobhita Dhulipala- Rohini stellium

Sobhita like most others bought a brand new face for herself yet masquerades under the "im not like other girls, i read" nonsense, she talks about acting, art and self love like she's some committed thespian when girlie cannot act to save her life. she says she does not work out just cleans her house and does chores to stay fit :) bc she's not like other shallow actresses, she does her own chores :) compared to most other people on this list she's harmless but I find her super pick me and pretentious

Moon dominant people are very good at picking up on lies, and understanding human behaviour because they're liars themselves lol, it takes one to know one.

Azealia Banks- Rohini Sun

she's truly unhinged af and a very vile person but some of the people she's called out are also terrible people and tbh her insults are so poetic lmfao

dont get me wrong i think she's a terrible person but there is some truth to some of the things she says which is what i meant by how Moon dominant people understand human behaviour. also Moon dominant people are HATERS dont expect them to say anything nice about anyone lol

I had a friend who would deliberately compliment every other girl we were friends with (Rita is sooo pretty, Lily is so stunning etc etc) but would never say ANYTHING nice about me EVER and when others complimented me she'd act like she didn't hear it or something lmao (it was wild) and one day I straight up asked how come you never say anything nice to me and she said "oh I didn't know you needed compliments from me, I thought you got enough validation from others, I didn't know you were desperate for more" 😭😭😭😭LIKE GIRL WHATTT, honestly making these posts and exposing the dark nasty side of Moon dominant people is helping me heal from all the toxic abuse I endured at the hands of this shitty girl and some others ughhhh that's the reason why these posts have more personal anecdotes than any other post i've made lol

Oprah Winfrey, Shravana Sun & Venus

Her show was pure exploitation of peoples problems and also gave a platform to the equally exploitative Dr. Oz, the king of fake science, and Dr, Phil, the king of fake psychology.

It's a well known fact that she's friends with Harvey Weinstein & Jeffery Epstein despite being a "supporter" of the Me Too movement. Not to mention, she gave a platform to the phony Michael Jackson accusers from Leaving Neverland (do the research, they're liars) while turning a blind eye to the actual sexual predators of Hollywood, like Weinstein.

Her style of journalism seems to favour the shock value of a breaking news scandal rather than actually seeking the truth.

Several celebrities have come forward to talk about how poorly they were treated on the show. Oprah loves to relish in the misery of other ppl and ALWAYS makes others deeply uncomfortable with the straightup rude and hurtful questions she asks them.

Ellen DeGeneres, Shravana Sun & Venus

the fact that two of the most sociopathic TV hosts to ever grace television has identical placements is so telling. Ellen has been exposed in the last couple of years for being a terrible person to work with and treating her guests like shit. What I find even more interesting is the fact that the person who sort of initially exposed Ellen for being a manipulative liar is Dakota Johnson who has Hasta Sun & Mars, when I tell you that Moon dominant people deeply understand human behaviour and the psychology behind people acting the way they do, this is what I mean, it takes a Moon dominant to understand the manipulation of another one.

Kristen Bell, Hasta Moon

she probably has one of the most toxic marriages ever and yet speaks of it so glowingly and always talks about "how much work" it is to stay married like girl💀💀maybe exit the marriage then?? she has such a sweetheart image but she has admitted that she gives her children non-alcoholic beer, locks them in their room at night, makes them shower with her to "save water", talks to them about their father's addiction and their sex life??

"We make funny videos but we also go to couple's therapy because we disagree on 99.9 percent of issues," she said at the time. "There are days when I'm completely sick of him, and there are days when he is completely sick of me. But we've chosen to love one another and to be a team. We've learned how to communicate and argue in a really healthy, respectful way."- Kristen said this about her marriage like girlie nothing about it sounds healthy, if its this much work then it probably isn't love lol

Kate Winslet, Hasta Sun, Moon & Rising

Winslet has worked with predators like Woody Allen, Harvey Weinstein & Roman Polanski and after Me Too, she shifted her narrative as public opinion regarding these men, whose crimes and accusations have been well documented for decades, has thoroughly shifted to the point where associating with them is no longer good for her and would like to join the right side of history. She & Leo have partied on Jeffrey Epstein's private island as well and she's one the many signatories who signed a petition to free Roman Polanski ewww

This is one example of how image conscious Moon dominant people are, she has no moral compass and had no issue working with all these predators for decades but once it became apparent that she wouldn't benefit from associating with them anymore she's suddenly all "omg terrible men i wish id known better" lol what a liar

She also played a sociopathic Nazi in the movie The Reader

Josephine Baker, Rohini Sun

Josephine Baker was a dancer known for her banana skirt dancing. Later in life, she adopted 12 children from different ethnicities and spent the rest of her life raising them. She is remembered as an icon and for her activism but her children have come out to describe how abusive she was to them.

During her participation in the civil rights movement, Baker began to adopt children, forming a family which she often referred to as "The Rainbow Tribe". Baker wanted to prove that "children of different ethnicities and religions could still be brothers." She often took the children with her cross-country, and when they were at Château des Milandes, she arranged tours so visitors could walk the grounds and see how natural and happy the children were in "The Rainbow Tribe". Her estate featured hotels, a farm, rides, and the children singing and dancing for the audience. She charged an admission fee to visitors who entered and partook in the activities, which included watching the children play.

She created dramatic backstories for them, picking them with clear intent in mind: at one point, she wanted and planned to adopt a Jewish baby, but she settled for a French one. She also raised them in different religions in order to further her model for the world, taking two children from Algeria and raising one child as a Muslim and raising the other child as a Catholic. One member of the Tribe, Jean-Claude Baker, said: "She wanted a doll".

Baker forced Jarry to leave the château and live with his adoptive father, Jo Bouillon, in Argentina, at the age of 15, after discovering that he was gay. Moïse died of cancer in 1999, and Noël was diagnosed with schizophrenia and is in a psychiatric hospital as of 2009. Jean-Claude Baker, the unofficial addition to the Rainbow Tribe, committed suicide in 2015, aged 71.

Angelina Jolie, Rohini Sun

Jolie was clearly inspired by Josephine Baker. she adopted children from different ethnicities and even bought a Chateau in France to raise them in (just like Baker did). For many years Jolie received a lot of flak for her unconventional parenting, like frequently travelling, homeschooling all her kids and not giving them a bedtime or any kind of stable daily routine. I can't comment on it too much because there's not that much about their personal life on the internet but what I do find very interesting is how Jolie has always used the paparazzi to push a certain image and stay relevant. We know that paps only come when you call them, even Beyonce never gets papped, so its very much possible to live a lowkey life. Angelina gets papped absolutely all the time for the last 20yrs, it was especially bizarre because it was obvious that she was trying to shed the "homewrecker image" by always being photographed with her kids doing mom things and its a bit problematic to think that she's using her children as pap fodder to push an agenda. Again, I think Brad is an abusive person but he often spoke back in the day about his desire to keep the children out of the public eye but Angie had to shed her weird punk goth who kissed her brother and was addicted to bad men and drugs image so she tried to present herself as the kind humanitarian and loving mother, I'm not saying that she isn't those things, except that girlie will make sure the paps are around to photograph her doing these things like she called the paps to her daughter's first day of college bro likeeee

Here's a very old article about how smart she is at crafting her image. Again this is not in and of itself a bad thing but it's kind of bizarre to realise how image conscious people can be and how something that seems so "real" and "natural" is actually a well calculated move on their part.

Angelina also played the sociopath Lisa Rowe in the movie Girl, Interrupted. people often associate this character with her Revati Moon but i assure you this is all on her Rohini Sun

Russell Peters - Hasta Sun

Russell is really good at studying people, accents, mannerisms etc which is what makes him a really good comedian but he's also fckn rude and disgusting from time to time.

Honestly Moon dominant men always spew the most vile shit, they talk about people especially women in THE most disgusting way. actual psychopaths ew especially the cocky self assured way in which they say all this bullshit???

Errol Morris- Shravana Sun

he is a documentary filmmaker whose work focuses on the epistemology of the subject, he's obsessed with human nature and trying to understand why people do what they do, all of his docus focus on vvv unusual people, death row prisoners, defence secretary instrumental in the vietnam war, insurance frauds, a man who designs death machines, pet cemeteries etc Morris focuses on people who are questionable to say the least, he tries to humanize people perceived as evil or bad (Moon dominant af lol bc who else would be interested in the motives of bad ppl??)

This preoccupation with human nature is deeply tied to the nature of Lunar people. They have a need to understand "motivations" and what drives people to do what they do. There is an innate tendency to pathologize or pick apart behaviour. This isn't inherently a bad thing but it is something I have noticed among Lunar people.

James Randi- Rohini rising

He was a magician and skeptic who spent his life exposing other people and their paranormal and pseudoscientific claims.

Moon dominant people are skeptical of everything and the least likely to believe in anything, they're always looking for the truth because they deeply understand human ugliness and believe everybody else is like that (they see themselves reflected in others, which is to say that if they're capable of it, then so must others).

Roman Polanski- Hasta Rising

pedophile and child rapist Polanski has directed movies like Rosemary's Baby, Chinatown, The Palace, The Pianist etc,, all of his movies have heavy elements of deceit, lies, manipulation etc all of his characters are looking for the truth.

Claire had mentioned in her video about wealth as to how Rohini (Venus is domiciled in Taurus) (Moon exalts in Rohini) creates contentment and this leads to stagnation because dissatisfaction is what creates growth. If someone is content where they are they decay. I think this can be broadly applied to all 3 Moon naks because they have no other motives, nothing to dry them so they start rotting on the inside and doing terrible, horrible, evil things. Venus and Moon embodies the ugliness of humanity.

Josef Mengele- Hasta Moon

He was a Nazi doctor who conducted abhorrent and deadly medical experiments on the prisoners at Auschwitz and administered the gas to gas chambers. He was nicknamed "Angel of Death"

Lenin- Shravana Moon

if you're familiar with the history of the soviet union you will know that Lenin wasnt exactly a sweetheart

Heinrich Himmler-Hasta Sun, Shravana Rising and Ketu in Rohini

he was a prominent Nazi leader who is "credited" with "designing the Holocaust"

Edward Teller- Rohini Moon

This is the guy who betrayed Oppenheimer and is called "the father of the hydrogen bomb". he later expressed guilt over his involvement in the dropping of atom bombs over hiroshima and nagasaki

Henry Kissinger - Rohini Sun & mercury

he was a warmongering asshole who i hope is rotting in hell. he's one of the worst human beings to have ever existed due to the sheer scale and capacity of crimes he enabled and the millions of people who died as a result. i have extensively talked about how Moon dominant people lack empathy, they literally do not care about others, they are selfish to the point where its actually disgusting and pathetic and this guy is one of the worst examples

During the 1968 presidential election he was in the Johnson administration but wanted to get in good with Nixon. So he leaked information about peace talks with North Vietnam to Nixon. They then went on to use this information to sabotage the peace talks and in turn the election.

He committed treason to extend the Vietnam War, ultimately by seven years. That alone makes him a rare breed of terrible. But it’s also damning because it shows how he ultimately believe in anything other than that he deserves to be close to power. He was willing to play games with millions of human lives over a job. And he would have been in the Humphrey administration if Nixon lost, so it was just a job he wanted more. He didn’t care about fighting communism, the rule of law, patriotism, anything. His death toll alone puts him on a short list of the worst people to ever live, but most of the people on there did what they did for an ideology.

He’s also been described as “the Forrest Gump of war crimes.” He just shows up for no good reason in the history of so many atrocities. Often he ordered them, but he also installed dictators who would carry out genocides. There’s worse people in history, but none who have been involved in so many separate crimes.

just read anything about this vile shitty man and you will understand the kind of cruelty and apathy Moon dominant people are capable of.

moon dominant people are "good" with political & military strategy because they dont care about anybody's well being except their own lol

one time i spoke to a Moon dominant guy and he said that there's no such thing as altruism or selflessness and that everybody behaves in their self interest, i found that very cynical and disturbing and he said even people who do charity or appear to be kind are only doing it because they want others to see them that way and that really says more about the nature of Moon dominant people than anything else. he also said he loved attention of any kind and would do anything to trigger people just so they'd react and give him attention lol basically he admitted to having sociopathic tendencies. He was Rohini Moon. imagine being so morally bankrupt and soulless that you cant believe there's goodness in this world or that people are good with no agenda lol I feel bad for people who have to live life being that bitter, imagine rotting on the inside like that

Herman Kahn- Hasta Moon

He was a military strategist and developed the nuclear strategy of USA during the cold war. which is to say his entire job revolved around manipulation. He is quoted as saying:

"At the minimum, an adequate deterrent for the United States must provide an objective basis for a Soviet calculation that would persuade them that, no matter how skillful or ingenious they were, an attack on the United States would lead to a very high risk if not certainty of large-scale destruction to Soviet civil society and military forces." 💀💀💀(avg moon dominant man be like)

In Kahn’s book, the Doomsday Machine is an example of the sort of deterrent that appeals to the military mind but that is dangerously destabilizing. Since nations are not suicidal, its only use is to threaten.

ok thats it for now besties whewww

i am not claiming that all moon dominant people are terrible people so if you have these placements dont take it to heart. i do however think that the dark side of the moon dominant native is truly terrifying. all i wanted to do was shed light on that.

[lestappenforever]

Lestappen fic - Ice cream shop owner!Charles AU

I don't typically get excited by AU ideas for Lestappen because Lestappen in canonverse is so appealing to me in and of itself. But, while AO3 was down yesterday, @thearchercore received and answered a whole bunch of asks from lovely anons about a Lestappen AU fic where Charles owns an ice cream shop (as inspired by the news that the man is actually going to open an ice cream shop in Milan.) And, well, for the first time ever, I got excited about a Lestappen AU. So, I wrote something.

This is, obviously, dedicated to the incredible @thearchercore, a true pillar of the Lestappen community, and to each and every anon who has sent in asks about this AU. And because this was entirely inspired by people on Tumblr, you can read the whole fic in this post. ❤️

---

Max realizes that he has probably let this whole thing go too far. Way too far. 

What had started as a chance encounter after the Monza Grand Prix, where Max had gone on a drive and ended up in a small, lovely ice cream shop - LEC - in Milan that served the most delicious vanilla ice cream Max had ever tasted, had spiraled and developed into what was now practically a weekly occurrence. Every chance he got, when the race calendar, his PR and training schedule would allow it, Max would fly to Milan, spending ridiculous amounts of money and contributing an unnecessary amount to further pollute the environment, just to go back to that ice cream shop.

And yes, although the vanilla ice cream was divine, that's not the real reason Max kept coming back. 

No, the real cause of his travels was the ridiculously beautiful shop owner, with the fluffy brown hair, the captivating green eyes Max kind of wanted to drown himself in, and dimples that Max saw every single night when he closed his eyes. And what’s more, the shop owner — Charles — didn't even seem to like Max, because the Monégasque was a die-hard Ferrari fan and he seemed to have made it his personal mission to put all the blame of Ferrari’s lack of success for the past fifteen years on Max. Even if Max hadn’t been in F1 for the entirety of those fifteen years.

Not that he was surprised, really. The passion of the Tifosi did, on more than one occasion, seem to seriously impact their sense of logic and capability of rational thinking. 

And apparently, the beauty, sass and stubbornness of the shop owner did the exact same thing to Max's. 

The irony of that is not lost on him.

The fact that the two of them had discovered they were on the same page about the superior ice cream flavor the first time Max had been in that ice cream shop — “vanilla is my favorite” Max had said at exactly the same time Charles had said “vanilla is the only right choice” — had not been enough to endear him to Charles. His allegiance with Ferrari and Max currently on yet another dominating winning spree with Red Bull was too strong. (Even if there had been the flicker of something in those green eyes when Charles had learned that he and Max were on the same page about vanilla ice cream.)

After yet another failed attempt at charming Charles a few weeks ago, Max had gotten so desperate that he had genuinely started considering a move to Ferrari, even starting to subtly ask around about the possibility, Red Bull’s superior car and strategies be damned. But then word had reached GP and his race engineer had told him, in no uncertain terms, that he would not be moving to Ferrari to impress ‘some ice cream guy in Milan’. Which Max had taken offense to, because Charles was not just ‘some ice cream guy in Milan’, thank you very much.

(Max really had to learn how to keep his mouth shut around GP.)

So yes, his obsession with the ice cream shop and its owner has gone way too far. And yet, on a warm August afternoon, Max finds himself walking back into that ice cream shop. 

Summer break has finally arrived, and Max had genuinely considered renting an apartment in Milan for the next three weeks so he wouldn't have to fly back and forth so much. But then he had come to the conclusion that that would be excessive. 

(Because flying back and forth between Monaco and Milan definitely wasn’t excessive. No, sir.)

Charles is there when Max walks in, as he is every single time Max walks in. The guy never seems to leave his beloved ice cream shop, and Max finds himself wondering if the other man gets enough sleep. Or if he even goes home to sleep, or if he has a bed set up in the back somewhere so he never has to waste time going back and forth between the ice cream shop and his home. 

He may not know Charles all that well, despite seeing him regularly for the past few months, but he does know that the man must have an incredible work ethic. 

The little bell above the door announces his arrival, and Charles looks up from behind the counter. For a brief second, Max is sure he sees a flash of excitement cross those gorgeous features, but the Monégasque quickly schools his expression into one of exasperation and indignation, complete with an overly dramatic eye roll. 

“No Red Bull Racing team members allowed,” Charles tells him with a huff, as he puts a brand-new tub of chocolate ice cream in the display freezer. 

Max snorts as he walks towards the counter. He had expected a frosty — pun intended — reception following Ferrari’s double DNF in the last race before the summer break, so Charles’ grumpy demeanor doesn’t deter him.  

“Hello to you too, Charles,” the Dutchman sing-songs, ignoring the way a couple of teenage girls at a table by the window gape at him. “Let me guess, Ferrari’s double DNF in Belgium was somehow my fault?”

Charles meets his gaze and narrows his eyes. He points an ice cream scoop at him. “I am not sure how, but yes.” He waggles the scoop accusingly. 

It’s Max’s turn to roll his eyes. “Right, because the two of them crashing into each other in turn two, while in P8 and P9 respectively, while I was at the very front definitely had something to do with me?”

“Obviously,” Charles confirms with a sniff. 

“You’re ridiculous,” Max laughs, shaking his head in a manner that can only be described as fond. He comes to a halt in front of the cash register at the counter, and waits for Charles to ask him what he wants. 

But Charles never does; instead busies himself with rearranging the different bowls of topping on top of the display freezer, wiping down the counter, and restocking the ice cream cones, all the while completely ignoring Max’s presence. Or general existence, even.

Eventually, Max runs out of patience.

“I’d like three scoops of vanilla ice cream, please.”

Charles doesn’t even stop what he’s doing. Doesn’t even look at him. “We’re all out of vanilla.”

Max stares. At Charles, then at the almost full tub of vanilla, with its little sign labeling it as vanilla sticking out of the fluffy ice cream. 

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, we are.”

“Charles, I can see the vanilla ice cream. It’s right there,” Max insists, pointing at the flavor through the display glass. As if Charles isn’t completely aware of its existence, as if he’s not just being a little shit and punishing Max for something that isn’t even remotely his fault. 

Charles pauses in his bustling to look at Max. Then, he follows the length of Max’s arm to where his finger is pointing directly at the vanilla. His gaze returns to Max’s eyes as he says, deadpan: “That is only a display ice cream.”

Max blinks repeatedly.

“A display ice cream?” he echoes incredulously. 

“Yes,” Charles confirms, raising his chin. “It’s only for display, it is not to be served.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Yeah, well, it’s like this,” the Monégasque says, lifting one shoulder in a careless shrug. 

Max doesn’t know if he wants to smack him or kiss him. 

(That’s a lie, he knows damn well that he wants to kiss that smug look right off of Charles’ stupidly beautiful face.)

“Fine,” the Dutchman sighs, moving his finger slightly to the right. “Then I would like three scoops of the chocolate.”

“I’m sorry, but that is also only a display ice cream,” Charles tells him with a completely straight face. 

“You’re not serious.”

Charles raises one full eyebrow. “Does it look like I’m joking?” he asks.

And, well, Max has to admit that it absolutely does not. 

He stands there in silence for a while, wondering why the hell this infuriating man has been the object of his deepest desires for the past few months. Wonders why Charles’ face is the only thing he sees when he closes his eyes to sleep at night, and why he is the one person that keeps appearing in the majority of his dreams. Wonders why, when his mind wanders as he has a secure grip around himself in bed, it keeps wandering to the mental images of what Charles would look like, feel like, sound like if he was there with Max, when all Charles seems to want to do is get under Max’s skin and infuriate him in ways and for reasons Max hadn’t even known he could let himself be infuriated. 

Oh, who is he kidding? Those reasons, coupled with Charles’ overall appearance and being, are exactly why his mind never seems to tire of Charles whatever-the-fuck-his-middle-name-is Leclerc, and only him. 

Max has always been a sucker for challenges. And Charles is definitely a challenge. 

Had Charles been an F1 driver instead of the owner of an ice cream shop, Max just knows their on-track battles would have been epic. Their rivalry would have been one for the ages; their names and lives so intertwined that people could not have mentioned one without also mentioning the other. Because Max is sure that Charles’ passion, his stubbornness and his outright refusal to give in to anything or anyone would have translated into a fierce, unyielding, unapologetic driver. 

Forcing himself out of his reverie, Max gives a quick shake of his head to clear is racing mind. Then, he fixes Charles with a hard stare. 

“Let me guess, these are all ‘display ice creams’?” he asks, gesturing with a hand at the numerous tubs of flavors in the display freezer. 

“Of course not,” Charles scoffs, as if that’s the most ridiculous statement that has been made in the ice cream shop in the past few minutes. “That would be a horrible way to run a business. We have one flavor that is not only for display.”

Max is almost afraid to ask, but he does anyway. “Which is?”

Charles doesn’t answer the question with words, just points to the bottom tub at the far left. The little sign reads ‘Mint chip’.

“Who the fuck eats mint chip ice cream?” Max asks, scrunching up his nose in disgust. “That’s like eating toothpaste.”

For the first time since Max stepped through the door, Charles smiles. A beautiful, self-satisfied, mischievous smile that does things to Max’s body, mind and soul. It makes his heart rate pick up and his skin tingle with an excitement he has no business feeling. 

Pathetic. He’s absolutely pathetic. 

“I don’t know what to tell you, Max. That's all I have to offer today.”

And Max, proving just how completely gone he is on this ridiculous man, lets out a long, tired sigh. 

“Three scoops of mint chip, please,” he requests in a voice that is completely resigned. 

Charles’ face lights up like a fucking Christmas tree, and he scurries to get one of the small glass bowls reserved for customers who want to eat their ice cream in the shop, not even needing to ask if that’s what Max is planning to do, or if he wants his ice cream in a cone. And although Charles is doing his damnedest to make Max believe that his general existence on this earth is causing Charles physical pain and emotional turmoil, the fact that Charles remembers his preference doesn’t go unnoticed by Max. 

He won’t even entertain the idea that Charles might just be adamant on making Max sit in his shop and eat his mint chip ice cream so Charles can watch him suffer with every spoonful. 

Charles is generous with the scoops — incredibly so — and Max is sure those three scoops he requested actually equal the size of at least six regular-sized scoops. He realizes that he probably should have asked for one scoop instead of three. He watches as Charles sticks a spoon in the ice cream and places the bowl on the counter in front of Max with the biggest grin on his face.

“It’s on the house,” Charles tells him, probably just to further add to Max’s suffering. 

The Dutchman eyes the bowl of ice cream warily, quietly cursing it and himself, before picking it up with a hesitating hand. Charles watches him expectantly the entire time as Max makes his way to a small table in one corner of the shop. Behind him, a small child, probably around five or six, had entered the shop with his mother while Max was waiting for Charles to finish scooping, and Max hears the boy ask for two scoops of strawberry ice cream. And Charles — the fucking asshole — makes a point out of saying ‘coming right up’ in both Italian and English just to fuck with Max some more.

Max takes a seat with his back to the window so he can face Charles. Because if nothing else, he’s not going to let Charles win.

The first spoonful really does taste like toothpaste with a hint of chocolate, and it’s an awful combination. It takes every ounce of willpower Max has not to let the disgust he’s feeling show on his face. He lets the ice cream melt in his mouth for a long moment, before swallowing the disgusting liquidized ice cream, all the while maintaining a completely unaffected expression. 

Charles watches him eat the entire bowl of ice cream, and Max never breaks eye contact. With every expressionless swallow, Max can see the thinly veiled disappointment on Charles’ face and the satisfaction he gets from that is enough to motivate him to finish every single bite. He even makes a point out of scraping the melted remains of the ice cream from the sides of the bowl, scooping it up into a mint green coloured soup in his spoon, and eating it. He even briefly considers licking the bowl clean just to get a rise out of Charles, but the Monégasque turns away from him with a huff before he can put his plan into action.

Which, thank fuck, because Max is starting to feel a bit sick from the ridiculous amount of toothpaste-flavored ice cream he has just consumed out of spite and spite alone. He pushes the bowl forward and away from himself on the table with a frown.

Charles goes back to ignoring his presence for the next fifteen minutes, and Max waits. Just because he can — just because he knows this wasn’t the outcome Charles had expected and he wants to revel in the satisfaction of finally getting under Charles’ skin for once for a little while longer. 

Eventually, Charles comes to collect his empty bowl and gives Max a disapproving glare. 

“Well? How was it?”

And Max, unable to resist, gives Charles his biggest, brightest smile. “It was delicious, thank you.”

If looks could kill, Max would have been dead. Then, Charles turns on his heels and walks away with Max’s empty bowl and spoon. 

Taking the win, Max gets to his feet and waits for Charles to look over at him from behind the counter. When he does, he gives the other man a wave. “See you tomorrow, Charles.”

“You’re not coming back tomorrow!” Charles shoots back.

“Oh, but I am,” Max counters. It sounds like a promise, and it is. 

As he walks out of the ice cream shop, feeling Charles’ gaze boring into the back of his head as he does, Max pulls his phone out of his pocket and starts looking up hotels in the area with available rooms.

***

Max stays in Milan for two weeks, and he goes to Charles’ ice cream shop every single day. 

Every day, Charles tells him the only flavor he can serve him is mint chip. By day three, Max has stopped trying to argue with him. By day five, Max orders vanilla and Charles responds with ‘three scoops of mint chip coming up’. And every day, Max sits at his little table by the window to eat his ice cream while Charles stands behind the counter, watching him eat the entire time. 

Every. Single. Day. 

And every single day, Max can see Charles’ resolve crumbling, little by little, convincing him that his tragic efforts are not in complete vain. They might be mostly in vain, but Max is in far too deep at this point to care.

On the eighth day, Max stays until closing and Charles spends the majority of his free moments actually hanging around Max’s table and engaging him in conversation. It's a step in the right direction, even if Charles does end up kicking the Dutchman out when he has to count the register.

And on the eleventh day, as Max is about to leave after finishing yet another disgusting, massive portion of mint chip ice cream, Charles finds himself looking at the blond from behind the counter, watching as Max smiles down at his phone. Those piercing blue eyes are crinkling in delight, causing adorable smile lines to appear at their corners, his full, inviting lips stretching to expose his straight, white teeth. A wave of something — jealousy, Charles would define it as if he wasn’t a pigheaded dick when it comes to four-time F1 World Champion Max Emilian Verstappen — washes over him at the thought of whatever or whoever it is that puts that smile on Max's face. 

It makes the Monégasque realize that all of his attempts over the past few months to convince himself that he doesn’t find Max attractive or charming as hell, and that he definitely doesn’t want to find out whether Max likes vanilla in bed, too, have been for naught. 

And so, with an overwhelming feeling that he's losing a battle he's been fighting for months, Charles throws away the paper towel he had been using to dry his hands and resigns himself to his fate. Because sometimes, perseverence needs to be rewarded.

And he's not just referring to Max's.

“You can take me out to dinner tonight,” he tells Max, and it sounds like the statement pains him. Which it kind of does.

Max stops dead, one hand on the door handle, half-turned to face Charles. The look on his face is one of utter surprise.

“Really?” he asks, and he sounds so fucking hopeful that it should probably make Charles change his mind. But instead, it makes him want to close up the shop immediately and let Max take him out to dinner right fucking now.

Which is pathetic, really. But then again, so is the way Charles has been waking up every day hoping Max Verstappen would walk through the door of his ice cream shop for the past few months.

But, having no intention of showing his hand, Charles maintains a stoic expression as he nods. 

“Pick me up here at nine.”

Max's smile is so wide that Charles wonders if it makes his cheeks hurt. He also wonders if said cheeks will feel as warm to the touch as they look.

“Okay,” Max says, still smiling. “Then I'll see you again at nine.”

And with that, Max turns, pulls the door open, and walks out of the shop. 

When Charles can only just see the back of the Dutchman through the window, he sees Max stopping briefly on the sidewalk and pumping his fist in the air in the same celebratory manner Charles has seen after so many victorious races over the years.

He looks ridiculous, and Charles might just be falling a little bit in love with him.

Charles doesn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day.

***

It turns out that Max's preferences in bed are far more adventurous than his taste in ice cream.

Which turns out to be yet another thing they're on the same page about.