#i didn't want to disclose personal information to make my point but they were just being so mean i had to say something..

[illogicalghost]

.

[olderthannetfic]

sorry it didn't entirely occur to me that race play wasn't inherently racist. Guess I literally should've just googled that to see, flew over my head. Wasn't intending to be bait or whatever, I was genuinely confused what goes too far in fiction or not, since you could write practically anything including immoral stuff. It was hard to wrap my head around and entirely forgot POC could write stuff that would be considered racist if a white person did it. My bad I understand the reasoning now. Again sorry was genuinely just curious cuz I'm not a "professional" in what's right or not (I usually follow the majority to determine what's right, I'm a sheep, my biggest fear is to be offensive in any way so I try to listen to people who know their stuff and follow), terms and complicated words (at least complicated to me) tend to go over my head. Perhaps I should've used a tonetag to show I was being genuine in my response and meant to be curious and not to harm. I apologize sorry for making you mad have a nice day/night afternoon :) I really appreciate the work you put in this blog, it's very informational for me

--

Oh god. You're in earnest? Well, in that case, you were doing a pitch-perfect imitation of the people you've been reading, and those people are annoying.

--

It's fiction. Who cares what's in it?

The thing that makes it matter is how the fiction is disseminated and the whole context around it. For example, media aimed at young children is held to higher standards because four-year-olds often aren't that competent at telling fiction from reality or understanding that depiction isn't endorsement.

Mainstream US TV shows have millions of viewers. If they reinforce mainstream unconscious prejudices, that tends to encourage the audience to continue unchecked in those beliefs.

Weird niche porn or fanfic on AO3 have tiny audiences, often deal with things that are already contentious, and are labeled as non-mainstream in the first place by their very nature.

"But what if people write immoral fiction?" is itself an unethical position. It is the domain of the religious right, radfems, and other assholes who believe in thought crimes.

Yes, sheep do follow these people. This is an unethical behavior, but it is common.

The tyranny of the majority is not a good thing. The fact that a large number of people on social media say that such-and-such makes them feel gross is not an excuse for them to tell a smaller group with "gross" tastes what they're allowed to do in their own circles. Lots of people are horny over weird shit. This is fine.

The fear of ever offending anyone is a prison that will cause you to make bad choices.

Genuine harm is bad, but lots of people are offended at the drop of a hat. Yes, this goes for nonwhite people too, and it definitely goes for idiots white knighting in fandom spaces and going "You can't write X about characters of color! You can't write Y! Everything is problematic!"

As has been discussed on here many times, a lot of fans, including nonwhite fans, find that kind of behavior stifling to the point where they can't write about those characters at all. The response is often a huffy "Well, they shouldn't feel like that." But they do feel like that. It's not on purpose. Most people feel like that, to be honest. Living in a fishbowl has a chilling effect on art just like being afraid of offending paralyzes you yourself.

Offensiveness is highly dependent on context. Not only will it vary with your cultural background, but a great writer can handle material and make it feel nuanced, while a crummy writer will fall flat on their face with the same material.

If we are too precious about "Nobody should ever offend anyone", we're calling for all fans to publicly disclose their demographic and for all fans to be extremely skilled. Pity the poor, dumb teenager who just wants to write about their black blorbos because they are black themselves... and a shitty writer... who likes sex pollen.

If you look again, you will notice that a lot of fandom drama around offensiveness boils down to "You have a rape kink and that's not okay".

The bottom line, anon, is that fandom has a bullying problem. The internet has a bullying problem. People who are too scared to have their own stance on what's offensive or what's correct behavior are easily weaponized in bullying campaigns. This is the problem with being a sheep. You'll reblog shit saying "Well, I'm not sure, but this sounds important..." and then it turns out to be a smear campaign. Or maybe you personally won't do that, but you will stay silent when you should speak out.

Doing the right thing often involves offending people.

Look, anon, I've been canceled before for supposedly being "fandom's worst racist", and yet there are a bunch of fans of color in my comments section because they're tired of prissy jackasses who won't ever expose themselves by having an opinion, think it's more important to never be wrong than to have a conversation and risk changing their minds, who think only one very specific, very American, and very era/platform/fandom-specific standard is okay, and who hate on kinky fanfic day in and day out.

--

To interact with other humans is to risk offending someone. Yes, I think it's on all of us to at least recognize extremely blatant racist stereotypes, but that doesn't mean agreeing with every single moron who walks up and goes "I had a yucky feeling, and now that's your problem."

A lot of this pearl clutching makes one think of that line from Cold Comfort Farm:

"I saw something nasty in the woodshed!"

The matriarch of the family took to her bed years ago, claiming to have been prostrated by the sight of some unnamed horror (in context, probably people fucking). For years, she has used this supposed ~harm~ to bully and control the rest of the family.

Fandom is also full of this behavior lately. "Other people's fiction made me shake and cry!!!" is not actual harm. It is, at best, people who are genuinely upset but who need to take it up with a mental health professional. Very often, however, it is shitty, manipulative, abusive behavior that is entirely intentional. Do not fall for it.

Some people are just children and need to be told "No."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being upset that my boyfriend of 3 years doesn't remember our anniversary even though i know he has adhd? ☕️☕️

I (26 W) have been dating my partner (32 M) for over 3 years now. He is officially diagnosed with ADHD and I am currently waiting for my own diagnosis for ADHD. He got diagnosed shortly before we got together and he has opened to me about how insecure he is over his disabilities causing a rift between us since all his previous relationships end with his partners leaving after they "get tired of dealing with his issues" because he also has autism and has been rude before in regards to my weight despite knowing that i am recovered from an eating disorder and this is the context in which his insecurities were disclosed to me. I also don't mean rude like accidentally, he literally put his hands on my stomach and said "what is this" after we had already had several Big Fights in regards to his previously rude behavior. For further context, I told him on our second date that I have a strict boundary around food and my weight and would appreciate it if he kept comments about my body weight or how much i eat to himself because it's triggering for me.

I try to be mindful of his limitations but recently, he asked me if he had forgotten our anniversary. This wouldn't bother me as much if it wasn't our third anniversary coming up in a couple of weeks and if I hadn't repeatedly told me over our time together the exact date of our anniversary. Now, I don't expect him to remember dates off the top of his head. I struggle with that information myself but what I DO hold against him is the fact that he KNOWS he forgets things and doesnt make ANY effort to have a failsafe against that. I put everything in my phone and he WORKS in tech so he knows how easy it is to set a repeat event with reminders nowadays so I don't understand why he can't just fucking figure out how to remember our anniversary without constantly making me be the one to remind him. I have told him exactly this and asked him why he didn't write it down over the last 3 years if he knows he's bad with dates. he said "that's a good point" and that was that. Now, he keeps trying to manipulate the information out of me by asking me when I'm like half asleep because he "thought i might slip up and just tell him."

Am I in the wrong for being mad over this? it feels like he doesn't care enough to do the bare minimum of being in a relationship with another person. I've dated others before with ADHD and it's never been a fucking issue before for them to remember our anniversary. I myself put in the effort when I care about someone to do the bare minimum and write down information I want to remember about someone. I just don't understand why I feel so guilty over getting mad about this when I feel like I have every right to be upset because it's not like I haven't been forthcoming before, it's not like i haven't repeatedly told him over the years and he puts in birthdays to his calendar so like why doesn't he care enough to put our anniversary into it? He wants to marry me but I dont want to spend the rest of my life reminding him to care enough about me to remember things like my birthday, our anniversary or my eating disorder.

But I also know that expecting people with ADHD to remember things is kind of an ableist move and I don't want to start an argument where I'm being a dick to his disabilities. So WIBTA if I decided to make this into a big deal because it is for me knowing my partner has ADHD and cannot help being so forgetful all the time?

What are these acronyms?

[vinnsley]

omg.. so ummm i was thinking.. have u seen norton in the new story? :3 and yk how he kinda like.. didn’t say a word to Alice.. I was wondering if u can write a fic.. where norton has a s/o.. :3 in the game and only talks to them.. and everyone is just like “wtf”.. :3

ORIGINAL: chuckles evilly. LOOK NO FURTHER DEAR ANON!!! (i deleted idv awhile ago. Youtube, my friend... :3)

UPDATED: Yes. I redownloaded IDV a while ago and finished the new story quests and unfortunatly by the time i am writing this, i don't remember everything clearly, so if this has any information wrong, i apologize 😭 (lately i haven't been playing either (by lately i mean months))

Edit 2: i realized that the most popular thing ive written is exactly abt norton.. and its smut. ermmmm😓

[----------]

-At first, you had 0 idea what to expect. Your boyfriend got sent a letter inviting them to a mysterious manor and he had to go alone. You were worried for him, considering the events of his past, but you let him on his way.

-It only took a few weeks for you to recieve a letter similar to what Norton recieved — from the same manor. It mostly contained that you are invited to the manor for reasons the writer rather not disclose trough a letter.

-Considering this was the same letter that made Norton leave, you immedieatly grabbed your suitcase and started to pack a few clothing items you deemed fit.

-The ride towards the manner was long —making you nervous by every second that passed. Would you see Norton again? Did something happen to him? What is it that this mysterious person wanted to talk with you about? Aswell as with a few others who would be present?

-When you finally arrived infront of the manor, you took a deep breath. Not too sure if you were ready to hear or see what was going on inside said manor. You walked up to the door and knocked, waiting for a few seconds (Which felt like hours in your point of view) and the door opened.

-A butler opened the door. Not saying anything aside your name as a question. Wanting to confirm it was actually you.

-You nod and give the old-looking man your invite, to which he nodded and let you inside. A maid bowing infront of you slightly as a greeting, before saying that she'll be your guide, and that you were free to ask questions whenever you wanted.

-You felt like you wanted to burst into words, you had so many questions. But anxiety has sewn your mouth shut, unable to mutter a single word besides an affirmation to the maid and following her to your temporary residence.

-The tour tooj atleast 1,5 hours in your opinion. The whole manor was... giant, in your words. You asked questions here and there to the maid, to which she either responded... or not. Which made your gut feel weird, but you shrugged it off.

-You already met a few people already. Like Mr. Kreiburg...But you wouldn't actually call it a meeting. As you reached out your hand and tried to introduce yourself, he only picked up his cane and moved your hand away from him before walking past you, his face only being... sour. Quite the asshole, you thought.

-Ms. Plinius, the entomologist you saw outside the small garden of the manor. For being such a big house, the garden was for sure small to your standards. But Ms. Plinius atleast didn't... shrug you off first chance she got. She simply introduced her and went back to examining... or atleast that's what you thought she was doing with the bees.

-You also met Orpheus. He was nice. He actually conversed with you for a bit. You found out that he was a writer of some kind, and that he's mostly at the manor because of this.

-You also met Ms. DeRoss. Or how she preferred — Alice. She was also nice. She conversed with you for a bit aswell. She was a journalist, that's what you found out about her.

-As you continued to walk around the manor, trying to see if there was anyone else, you had no luck. When you peeked inside the last room and you didn’t see anyone, you sighed.

-Wasn't Norton invited here? Why isn't he here then? You were confused. And mostly scared for your lover.

-You decided to shrug it off. You were already tired from all that travelling you did during the day, the meetings —Good or bad—, the tour.

-You ate dinner with the invited people who... participated in the dinner, because Mr. Kreiburg... was missing. As it seemed like it was a common occurance for him to not attend, he usually asked his food to be brough to his room appearently.

-After you were done, you said your good night's to everyone and went to your room. Your luggage being next to the small space next to the bed, as you picked it up and placed it on the table, rummaging trough it for your nightly wear.

-When you found it, you tried to change as quickly as possible to be able to get more rest that your body and consciousness craved at this point.

-Tomorrow morning, you were woken up by a sharp knock on your door. The person on the other side for sure knew how to wake someone up... You called out a 'come in' in a sleepy tone stretching as your body popped here and there from the movement.

-The butler from before came in. He informed you that breakfast would be starting soon, and that you should probably gather yourself together for the day. You yawned and nodded in response. The butler soon walked out when he saw your nod — giving you your privacy.

-You stood up, going to the bathroom to wash your face. After that, you went to your luggage still on the table, opened, and picked out your next outfit for the day.

-You opened the door and walked out, closing it behind you as you saw someone with black hair and a... hat of some kind walk down the stairs? It was... a green or grey. You couldn't really tell from how fast they rushed down the stairs.

-You shrugged it off, walking downstairs in your own pace and walking to the dining table.

-When you arrived, you looked around. Alice, Ms. Plinius, Orpheus... and Norton?

-So he was actually here! Your heart felt like it could burst open from happiness any second now. You wanted to scream in happiness, but no. You couldn't. You were with people who were technically still strangers.

-Norton did notice and recognize you too. His reaction simply being his eyes widening than narrowing to his usual look. He always had a better poker face than you — that you both knew.

-But for some reason, there was no space set in the table next to Norton... So you simply put your fingers on the satin that was under the plate, and pulled it infront of the chair next to Norton, sitting down beside him.

-You took your food and while you did, everyone besides Norton stared at you weirdly for a bit. Why did you... sit next to Norton? They barely managed to get his name out of him (which was actually given by the butler) but you sit next to him? The most anti-social person besides Kreiburg?

-They were confused to say the least. But... hey. You do you. They guess.

-While everyone was eating, talking, Alice noticed that Norton was... actually talking to you? Sure, she couldn't hear what you two were conversing about, but Norton was definitely going on and on about something.

-Did you two know eachother? Probably. No. Most definitely. Norton hasn't spoken a single word to anyone, yet he is actively talking to you. You two definitely knew eachother from somewhere.

-Alice looked over to Orpheus as he was talking to Ms. Plinius, slightly nudging him with her elbow and she signalled to the pair of you with her eyes.

-Orpheus kept talking to Ms. Plinius, making an act of as if they weren't watching the two of you, while he glanced at the both of you from time to time. Nobody could tell, but Ms. Plinius took the hint aswell and noticed the same thing as Orpheus and Alice.

-It was as if the two of you were friendly with eachother. Maybe even more.

-But they couldn't do much at the moment... they might ask you two... or more specifically you of your relationship with him later.

[----------]

ACK. im sorry if i messed up anything... and im so uncertain if melly was actually referred to as Ms. Or Mrs. google didnt give me any solid answers either so... excuse that if its wrong pls🤕🙏

[samsm2mstories]

My coming out story.

I thought I should share you my story about coming out which was actually recently.

For many years I had a lot of suppressive issues that were out of my hands, society, cultures and other reasons which meant for me it wasn't the right time. Luckily for some countries it's easily being who you are compared to 10-20 years ago. The world sucks still as there are homophobic idiots everywhere, some are just sore losers who got not respect in society while others just don't know any better as their upbringing wasn't teaching them to respect others.

Luckily enough I live in the UK and we as a country have got better even although the early / mid 1900s generation are still hard at adapting to the modern world. It's not their fault as their times were different. Religion, society didn't know much better but that's history as we are the ones that living in this world and will be the ones moving forward. Some people will never understand it and respect it.

I'm lucky to come out around great people, I am a very well respected in person and in general a natural born leader so you could say I was like a captain that was popular which made my coming out harder.

Some of you might be thinking now does it become easier to come out as your identity?

I believe it's can depends on a number of reasons. You got to truly believe that you are who you are.

Don't question it.

If you question yourself, don't come out as that's a sign you are not ready. Talk to your friends, talk to strangers who are gay online (be safe not to disclose personal information)

I will admit I sat in my chair for a few good hours debating how to come out. I decided to go for it and do it in one big statement. That's a strong trait of mine as you all can tell on here.

I needed to write my story in a way that it wouldn't offend people, I did mention about the industry that was homophobic, some of my family and school.

It was that second most nervous point in coming out, just posting/saying it. I thought about listening to a few songs that were a big part of my life, thinking about those moments where sometimes I should of come out earlier to enjoy those moments.

You know what, I don't regret it at all, yes I missed out on some years but I had a brilliant life, travelling the world, experiencing new cultures, and making amazing friends on the way.

It did take a toll on my mental health at times but being the strong person I am, I dealt with it quickly enough.

So that night I sat there and my song came along.

Starship: Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now (read the lyrics while listening to this song)

You know this was a song of mine but the words in it made me realised I want to go out there and enjoy myself.

I finally did it.....

Those nerves, stomach turning inside out, emotions running wild. It all hit me like a ton of bricks.

What will people think?

What will people say?

Will I lose some friends??

Everything was rushing in and out of my mind, I just went to bed, signed out of social media. I recommend you doing this for a day or two as you want to feel the response in one go.

People started to message me, those who had my mobile number. It became a bit easier, I wasn't in the mood for talking much so I text back in small sentences.

I went to work that day and luckily enough nobody there is on my social media pages. I managed to complete 8/10 hours of my shift.

I went home and cried for abit, emotions still hitting me like bullets. You will have moments thinking was this right but deep down you know you are right.

I decided to look at my social media pages.

The final verdict?

I'm finally a free man.

For those who are younger, there shouldn't be anyone under the age of 18 reading my stories as they are explicted but if you are reading this.

For you coming out would be different, I would recommend you do it now when the moment is right but take into consideration your family. Make sure you won't be disowned or kicked out of the house. Have a read-up online about it all and PLEASE RESEARCH EVERYTHING.

We all have different circumstances and you must be completely assured that coming out will be good when the moment is right..

Yes some might not agree with it.

Yes some might hate you now.

Yes some might be shocked and haven't replied.

Who cares????

This is your life so go out there and enjoy it, be safe while at it. Please use protection during sex with strangers.

Remember if you ever feel I doubt or want to talk, there's helplines, friends in the community, even send me a text if you want to talk more.

Don't be afraid to talk.

I hope you all enjoyed this irl story and it would be amazing if some of you reply to this about your coming out stories. It would make a brilliant discussion.

For those who are unsure on their sexuality, speak to me or other members of the community. Talking helps to make a decision. You will feel much better.

Sam your favourite Alpha writer 😎

[quaranmine]

The Backcountry Permit Situation

Rereading Firewatch AU again and I want to make a clarifying comment about the backcountry permit thing, since it's a such an important part of the plot from Chapter 5 - 10. I haven't seen anyone be confused about this yet fortunately, but in my opinion the distinctions in the plot get pretty in the weeds here. So this is just me walking through it.

The Forest Service IS supposed to be in the wrong about the permit. That was an actual mistake that probably cost Mumbo dearly in a roundabout way. They are also wrong to have not disclosed this to Grian or Mumbo's family.

But here's where I say that it's not a conspiracy. Grian's thoughts about the mistaken permit is that it impacted Mumbo's search process. He thinks that the Forest Service wanted to cover up their mistake, and as a result botched the search to hide it. Admitting that they made a mistake with the permit would indicate they were at fault, and they don't want to be at fault because they're the government, so they continue to search the Cloud Lake Trail like nothing happened. Grian thinks that they knew Mumbo wasn't there and kept searching it anway to make themselves look good. He thinks they purposefully searched an area Mumbo wasn't in to hide their mistake. He thinks that they should have pursued other areas, but didn't want the liability of admitting Mumbo wasn't on the trail. He and Scar both think it was unprofessional to not, somehow, explore areas that weren't even connected to the original trail because SAR should have been "able to predict that."

The non-conspiratorial reality is much simpler. The Forest Service mistakenly issued Mumbo a permit for a trail that hadn't been reopened yet because the person who issued it simply didn't know. It's pre-computer, so it's not like they had an electronic system to flag this. So when Mumbo is reported missing, they have 1) Mumbo's permit for that trail, 2) Mumbo's car at that trailhead, and 3) a witness who said they saw Mumbo on/near the trail. There is NO reason to assume Mumbo didn't go there anyway. All evidence actually points to him being there. In fact, as stated in the files Grian later stole, the SAR incident commander had determined that the damage to the trail made it more likely for Mumbo to get lost. He would have entered altered terrain where the trail was obscured, and might have taken a wrong turn since everything was no longer marked or clear. I have seen real life cases where this happened to hikers who got lost!

It's stated that the SAR did do aerial searches of some other locations around Cloud Lake, but only of official trails off the same road as Cloud Lake. Since, you know, those are the ones that officially connect and are close to where his vehicle was found. Grian himself says he never made it to Cloud Lake because he was "asked to help in other areas." So we can already see that there was search acitivity that wasn't concetrated on the the rockslide area.

When Scar asks what the Forest Service thought about Mumbo's things being found on a completely different trail, and why he was permitted for a closed trail, he's told they were "operating on information inconsistent with reality and conducting an investigation of it." They both treat this as sinister-sounding but it's pretty much just a roundabout polished governmenty way of saying "we have no clue why he was at Pinnacles either and are looking into it" lol.

When Grian confronts the District Ranger, he's mad. The District Ranger admits fault to him about the permit, but explains again that they didn't see a reason why Mumbo wouldn't be in the Cloud Lake area. Grian accuses them of purposefully blocking off the spur trail Mumbo took—essentially saying that the Forest Service knew Mumbo took that path, and quietly blocked it off without mentioning it. The District Ranger replies that the trail crews were just doing their jobs. That's the truth. Since the Cloud Lake Trail needed repairs to reopen, a trail crew worked heavily on it. Part of their job is streamlining the trail.

Unfortunately, most of the critical errors in Mumbo's case were always his own. He shouldn't have taken the unmarked trail, he should've turned around once he realized the Cloud Lake Trail was messed up. I don't mean it in a victim-blamey "he deserved his outcome due to stupidity" way. I simply mean it in the sense that we're all human and unfortunately some silly mistakes or moments of poor decision-making are final.

So basically:

Forest Service issuing the mistaken permit and not admitting it: actual mistake, they were wrong

Forest Service purposefully botching the search and focusing on an area they knew Mumbo wasn't in, to decrease their own liability: this didn't happen, Grian is wrong

Mumbo's family could probably sue them for wrongful death based on the permit thing, though. I don't know how successful it would be but in my purely amateur opinion I think there's a reasonable case to be made that Mumbo never would've been in the position to make his mistakes if he'd never stepped foot on the trail. He might've gone elsewhere and had an entirely normal trip. If only :(

[justanothersyscourse]

Hot take

Because of my experiences, I want to ensure that I'm interacting with people that understand me, my problems, and my boundaries.

And I have every right to ask that endo systems not interact on a personal level.

Do you know what helped form my disorder? Lies, secrets, manipulation, and misrepresentation.

Do you know what would harm me? Learning that someone I've interacted with lied, hid, or purposefully didn't disclose that they were not someone I wanted to be interacting with.

The systems that are close to me have watched me struggle, and have let me be open about many things that endogenics wouldn't understand.

I would be fucking livid if I opened up about something only to eventually find out that person wasn't who or what I thought they were.

Asking people their stance or origin is not asking for their personal details or story.

Stop acting like it is, you're twisting the argument to make a point that isn't real and isn't happening, and it's damaging to a vulnerable community that already struggles with trust and honesty.

Frankly, I don't care what your story is, and I probably don't want to hear it. I just want to know if you're someone I need to be guarded or closed off around so that I can take care of myself.

If I'm in a server for trans people and supporters, and I'm being open and honest and about my experiences to someone I think understands what I'm going through, and then after they suddenly admit they were cis, I'm going to be pissed off.

Had I known, I may not have chosen to share some of that information, and you took away my right and ability to make that decision.

The only thing hiding your origin does is cause further distrust in those with DID/OSDD.

Be better.

[whoaffle]

Great tips for using with most people you're not really acquainted with, or that you are not too close to! But I'd also like to add that add that, in my personal experience, explaining to people the source of the problem (as long as you're comfortable with that and talking to someone you trust and who makes you feel save in that regard) has helped me a lot in several situations!

I used to try to hide that I might have issues processing speech (and also hide the fact I had sensory overloads), and sometimes kinda panicked in those situations, because I kept going "what?... Sorry what? ... I didn't understand again, sorry, I'm dumb" and felt so embarrassed. But after therapy and after lots of stuff I saw on tumblr too (tips and shared experiences), I started to understand I don't need to be ashamed of any difficulties I have, and I came to the amazing realization that most people my age are SO understanding and chill about it!

I explained to most of my friends and coworkers that I have difficulty processing audio inputs and that I can get sensory overloads. When they say something I don't get, I often say " I'm sorry, I couldn't process what you said". They will usually say it differently (slowly, or louder, or come closer or put in other words) which often helps, and if I don't understand again, I can just go "sorry, still didn't understand" without them getting annoyed.

Also, as some of you may know, here in Brazil, the football(soccer) World Cup is very important to the point that most jobs give their employees a full or half day off. In my workplace, we weren't allowed to leave, but they transmitted the games in the office televisions for us to watch while working or take breaks to watch and go back to work after. And listen, my boss was so supportive and understanding when I went to him with a sensory overload (not that much about the volume, mostly about the amount of input and the kind of noise - cheering crowds, even if the volume is low, usually messes up my brain). He helped me try and find something to cover my ears with, he turned down the volume of the TV quite a lot, despite everyone else watching it (and my coworkers were not even mad at me, thankfully), and told me I could leave the office and take my time to feel better if needed. I've had sensory overloads while going out with friends from my work too, and they were all super nice. And when I got sensory overloads at college, my classmates were also amazing and kept apologizing even when I told them that it wasn't their fault (admittedly, they were making lots of noise but it's not like they did it on purpose).

Summing it up, I KNOW that I'm lucky to be in such understanding and nice environments, where people are aware of these problems and willing to help, and I know not everyone is in safe interactions - which is once again why the tips at the beginning of the post are excellent - and also I know not everyone is comfortable disclosing information like that about themselves just because, but I wanted to share that whenever the situation and people allow for it, telling people about my sensory issues has helped a lot, and I was so surprised at how nice most of the people I spoke with are about it.

Autistic Lifehack: Hearing Problems

If someone says something that you only partially understand:

DON’T ask for clarification with a generic “What?” or “I’m sorry?” (In my experience, people will repeat the phrase the exact same way without helping you to understand).

Example: Them: “Hey, do you like pahganabasa?” Autistic Person: “What?” Them: “Do you like pahganabasa?” Autistic Person: “I’m sorry, what?” Them (annoyed): “Do you like pahganabasa?”

Instead, DO repeat the part that you did understand, and substitute a “What?” for the unintelligable part.

Example: Them: “Hey, do you like pahganabasa?” Autistic Person: “Do I like what?” Them: “Pineapple pizza?” Autistic Person: (Understands the words!)

[medicinemane]

I tell ya, if I had a company and I was advertising, I'd pay extra to only show up occasionally

Like if I were sponsoring people on youtube, I'd want to pick a wide net of likely unrelated interests, and I'd only one to show up about once every month or two, cause I'll tell you, nothing makes me like you less than having to hear about you all the fucking time and I bet I'm not alone in that

The most effective advertising is something like buying a banner ad on a fan site when you're making something for that fandom

Literally just... "hey, want a plushie?" kinda stuff, zero pressure zero annoyance, just informing people you're selling. That stuff works, cause people do want to buy stuff and they need to know you exist

But fuck me, the problem with sponsorships in youtube videos isn't the youtuber getting paid, it's the way I have to lurch for the mouse just like you used to have to lurch for the remote to change channels

I don't like sponsor block type extensions cause I don't trust them to be accurate, but I'm fucking sick to death of factor ads... they're the new fucking manscaped, which speaking of I still get people being like "so I shaved my balls and..." cool, didn't need to know that, hope they pay you well

Just makes it a bad experience, only "sponsorship" I like is one guy who just mentions the books he's written, and even there I lunged to skip it at first and he's just lucky I was slow

But yeah, I'd pay extra to try and make people not hate me. Tell the person to like... put me at the beginning or end of the video... preferably avoid the word sponsorship cause it's gotten annoying and if legally allowed phrase it more like "so these guys are paying me to tell you about this"... literally means the same thing, it just doesn't have the annoying word. I want them to disclose and they have to disclose and I'm for that, just know everyone hates sponsors at this point

And finally I just would try to cast a real wide but infrequent net. Try and hit channels with little overlap and do it like once every few months... enough to remind people but not make their blood boil hearing my name

(This is about that boot.dev thing where at first I was kinda considering it, but now I hate them cause they won't shut up)

[manonamora-if-reviews]

Dysfluent by Allyson Gray

============= Links

Play the game (IFComp) See other reviews of the game

============= Synopsis

Sometimes talking is easier said than done.

============= Other Info

Dysfluent is a Twine(Harlowe) game, submitted to the 2023 edition of the IFComp

Status: Completed Genre: Slice-of-life

CW: / - timed text, animated text

============= Playthrough

Played: 14-Oct-2023 Playtime: about 30min Rating: - [IFComp vote] Thoughts: Untimely struggles...

============= Review

Dysfluent is a fairly short slice-of-life story, where you spend the day as a person with a stutter, trying to get through their day. The game uses text animation to highlight the struggles of living with a stutter. While the game includes achievements, linked to choices throughout the story, there is only one ending.

Spoilers ahead. It is recommended to play the game first. The review is based on my understanding/reading of the story.

Aside from my gripes with the timed text (more on that later), the game was quite enjoyable. I found the story especially quite touching with its representation of the realities of living with a stutter (the colour use for the choices were smart!*). Trying to go through the whole checklist of actions made me feel quite anxious (would I manage to go through the day before just calling it quits?), which was pushed further with the formatting of the text. Social interactions felt like a nightmare, and the flashbacks made everything worse. *though I was a dummy, and put the same thing for the best and worst dish... played myself there...

Though there are heavy moments throughout the story, I felt like the game tried to be as light-hearted as possible (save for the flashbacks). You may have a bit of a hard time saying certain words, or get some weird looks from people, but you leave each sequence with what you needed or did the best you could. It sometimes felt like you struggled more with your own feelings than other around you? Which I makes sense if your upbringing laughed at the ailment or looked at you with contempt at best.

It was a bit of a bummer to find out you wouldn't get the job, but it also didn't feel much of a loss when it happened - partly because of the conversation you have with your friend just after the news, but also because there is not much information on the job itself or what the MC thought of the job. Was it a job where talking is required or an added bonus? Did we really want that job? Did we need the job? Was there outside expectations with getting this job? Why didn't we disclose that we had a stutter before*? Would it have changed anything if it did? Was the company open to accessibility? Did we prepare ahead of the job at all? Just having to pick up a suit at the dry cleaner didn't feel enough, I guess? *maybe because we feel ashamed, prob

I understand the choice of using animation and timed text to emphasise on the hardships of having a stutter, how seconds feels like minutes when words don't want to come out, how frustrating it can be to be blocked for no reason, how anxious it can make you knowing something requires speech... but the overuse and drawn-out length of the timed text becomes more a friction than pushing the point (especially as a fast reader). For many passages, I would be doing something on the side, waiting for the page to load fully before continuing to play. As the animation setting is locked behind the ending (for understandable reasons, also makes replaying the game more smooth), I would advise a reduction of the use of the timed text (instead of bits of sentences, show the whole paragraph) or of the time between each block (at least by half, not more than 2s), or transforming it into a type-writer animation, or making the player click-to-reveal (trying to push the words out of their mouth).

It was frustratingly nice.

[lesbiandatekaname]

The "Rusty Quill Article" from the perspective of a journalism student.

So there has been a lot of stuff going around about an article made by someone that lays out some possible/probable/whatever misconduct. And there are some ways that people have been discussing it that I want to weigh in.

My Credentials: I'm in my senior year as a Journalism and Media Production major (I won't say which university because this is the internet). I've taken a lot of courses about journalism, including its ethics and writing conventions.

The Writer

"Who's Afraid of Alex J. Newall?" was written by Newt Schottelkotte on Medium and edited by Tal Minear and Wil Williams. The article extensively details possible misconduct

Possible bias: Upon publishing the article, Schottelkotte made no note of being the Director of Marketing at the podcast network Fables & Folly. When this was pointed out online, Schottelkotte added an editor's note to the bottom of the article that reads

Newt Schottelkotte is currently the Marketing Director for Fable & Folly Network, but has worked as an independent creator and journalist for longer. This information was not disclosed; a disclosure has been added.

So what gives? That's pretty biased, right? Surely F&F stands to gain a lot if Rusty Quill were to shut down or lose public favor, and the author hid that fact. I, however, would take that with a heavy grain of salt. As noted Schottelkotte has worked independently in podcasting since 2016 and got their position at F&F this year. Furthermore, they've actually worked for a lot of podcast networks, also available in that link, and the emphasis on F&F made by some people may be a bit overzealous. Yes, F&F could stand to gain from RQ experiencing troubles (though more of the nebulous way that a lot of podcast networks would), but Schottelkotte overall is an independent contractor and that's probably the reason they didn't mention it in the article originally. Minear and Williams are unaffiliated with F&F.

Something else about journalistic bias: No article is ever truly unbiased. There is no way for it to be. There are some cases where bias is so blatant that the person shouldn't be put on the story, but most of the time the best people are able to do is manage their bias.

The Purpose

Some people have disparaged the article for trying to "cancel" RQ. To this I would merely like to point out that the article is not addressed to podcast consumers, but to podcast creators.

They do address the possible consumers later towards the end, where they attempt to dissuade people from harassing former/current employees and projects

In the final section, they do ask readers to think about supporting The Magnus Protocol Kickstarter with the clear bent of "Supporting the Kickstarter could mean that you're supporting abusive industry practices." There is clearly some biased language here, and a call to action such as this could definitely be considered "iffy" journalism, so take that as you will.

The Sources

Oooooooooh the sources. Schottelkotte's article uses a few external sources, and then a number of anonymous sources that are ex-employees of RQ or people who were offered a position there. All interviewees are anonymous, and people have raised some eyebrows at this.

In journalism you are generally supposed to avoid confidential sources. They cause an obvious verification issue. If people don't know who your sources are, how do they know that you're not just making everything up?

That being said. The audio drama podcast industry is rather small. RQ itself is somewhat of a household name, and is even more of a juggernaut in a place like Britain. I can absolutely understand why these people would feel nervous about speaking publicly for fear of being blacklisted due to being considered "hard to work with" or "disloyal" or fear of backlash from RQ themselves. Take these sources with a grain of salt, but also understand that there are reasonable grounds for these sources being confidential.

Conclusion

I encourage people to go read the article, hence why I linked it at the beginning. Something that I would ask for people who point out the issues with sources is to demand accountability from RQ. Demand that they respond (As Schottelkotte asked them to do at least once, possibly several times. It's a bit unclear in the article). Look at the facts that we do know and ask yourself that even if they don't directly verify claims do they at least line up with them? Journalism is meant to inform, but there can also be more beyond a dichotomy "this article is can be trusted" vs. "this article cannot be trusted." Use this as an opportunity to ask questions.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi there, I totally understand if you don't/want to answer this because its a stupid story in which i am a stupid person who makes stupid decisions despite knowing better, and also didn't do the right things at the right time. i am going to also navigate my moral failings at a point which ig might be a seperate ask idk we'll see. also its a whole long story and i have some kinda problem where i struggle to work outrelevant information, i'll prolly realise and then send a shorter ask later.

this time last year I slept with someone that had active herpes sores. they were on their first outbreak and were taking an anti-viral to deal with the symptoms. As a teenager I went through a brief period of sleeping around a lot after the end of my first relationship, with pretty much total strangers (i was around when you could use tinder as a 16 yr old, if that dates me at all) and at a routine sti appt several months after i'd 'calmed down' a nurse took a swab of a sore and said there was a good chance it was herpes though it might be too late to tell (clinics were once a week where i was and i wasn't prepared to travel 20+ miles on public transport to get it right time-wise, i know, wrong and i am sorry). the test came back negative but i just assumed i had and didn't get a blood test because of everything i'd been told about herpes. never had another 'outbreak', any signs of one i was straight on that bus and it never came up positive.

Fast forward to the future, I had had one partner that i disclosed that i may but had never had a positive test and we used protection every time. It really harmed my self-esteem and i felt unable to start another relationship after that breakup because disclosing felt like such a nightmare (I still feel I messed up in disclosure, even though they had coldsores on their face before we met, idk) but i then met this person, and we got on really well and as they had gotten theirs from a cheating partner, i felt like i should be as supportive as possible, especially considering at this time i also considered myself a person with herpes. I wanted them to avoid the shame and 'unfuckableness' i had been stuck with for years. When they said they wanted to fuck me, I went with it. I wanted to use protection, and they tried to talk me out of it (yano, feels better kinda thing) but i stuck with it because there are other reasons. The second time we slept together i caved to them though.

it ended up helping me though, as after they ghosted me for a month (i got covid rly soon two days after we last met and told them, then there was a kind of radio silence) i met another person and disclosed to them and they were cool with it. They got tested when they went back to their home country 1 and 3 months later they were clean (other than ureaplasma but we don't test for that in my country so idk what to do onthat one).

I then decided to get my blood checked (igG) because i thought that i needed to be able to show people that i absolutely had herpes rather than feeling like people werent believing me (?) when i told them, which ig they were because i said 'i have herpes' to them but idk a document seemed more official. and then i wouldn't panic about lying to people accidentally or w/e. this was before twelve weeks from sleeping with person A so when it came back negative i was thrown horrifically. At this point it's worth mentioning i quit alengthy and pretty horrible drug addiction and ended up sleeping with the person I'd asked to look after me in this time (again with protection) and several weeks later i remember feeling like i was going to die when i got tested again, twelve weeks after contact with person A. I was so relieved because I didn't want to hurt the person that was looking after me when i was getting clean, especially as I had failed again.

So i am with no positive blood test, I am thinking of getting another test again because i still can't bring myself to be near another person in case i give them herpes. I was just wondering if it was worth it, if even if i was carrying it i might not have antibodies because the virus was being 'covert' or something. yeah i guess that's my question. does exposure mean infection, do i need to disclose that i know i have had contact with herpes, will a test do anything?

anon this has had me, my housemates, and my group chat absolutely agog for the last 25 minutes and counting.

if you've had multiple negative tests then the odds that you have herpes are extremely low; it's very unlikely that getting bloodwork done will find anything different. having sex with someone who has an STI is not a guarantee that you will catch it, and if you've never tested positive there's no need to tell partners that you have herpes because that's factually inaccurate. having had sexual contact with someone who has herpes does not make you inherently risky.

it's worth noting that even if that were the case, then functionally the entire population of sexually active humans would be at risk - it's estimated the between 60 and 90% of adults globally have herpes, which means that nearly every sexually active adult must have had at least one sexual partner who's infected.

I don't like to armchair diagnose anyone with anything because that's not my field and it's none of my business, but it does maybe seem like there's some shame around sex here that's being channeled into the belief that you must have herpes. clinging to that belief isn't actually helping any of your partners or, crucially, you. I wish you nothing but health and safety as you work towards sorting these feelings out.

[circethesinner]

the puppeteer ✿ intruder - chapter 14 ✿

pairing: steve harrington x original female character (can be read as x reader)

warning(s): strong language, descriptions of violence, mature themes 

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"Steve, why are you in my room at 1am, absolutely fucking drenched?" Bambi groaned as she took in the sight before her. Steve Harrington had just tumbled through her window and directly on top of her legs as she was lying in bed. It was dark, but she recognised him immediately.

She supposed that's what she got for leaving her bedroom window ajar. While Bambi loved the smell of rain, she loved not being woken up by Steve in the middle of the night even more. "You're getting my bedding wet, and my legs are going numb. Get off me, you ass." She tried to shove him off, but he was like dead weight.

"Do... Do you think Nancy loves me?" His words were slurred, and realisation dawned on Bambi that he was drunk. That made the current situation make sense. She'd turned down the invitation to go round Tommy's place that evening to get drunk and bitch about everyone who wasn't in attendance, which was code for 'Jonathan and Nancy'. Bambi hated Tommy and Carol. She didn't like to use that word when referring to people, but she made an exception for the couple who Bambi was convinced had been sent from hell just to spite her. However, they didn't seem to get the message as she was constantly invited to tag along with their little gang whenever someone's parents were out of town.

"I think..." Bambi considered her words, not wanting to lie but also not wanting to hurt Steve's feelings. She'd never admit it to anyone, mainly him, but Bambi had grown quite fond of the dork. At first, she thought it was just the gratitude that came after he'd literally saved her life, but after being forced to spend some time with him around the Wheeler's house, she'd found the personality under all that hair. She found herself spending more and more time with Steve, much to George's chagrin. George hated Steve the way Bambi hated Tommy and Carol. He'd even tried to ban him from the diner at one point when he'd failed to drop her off after a party since she'd just crashed at his place, which was closer. "I think I'm not Nancy, so I can't answer that question."

"You're... You're not Nancy because... because you're nice." Steve slurred, still laying on his stomach across Bambi's legs with his feet dangling out of her window.

"Are you implying that Nancy isn't nice?" Bambi asked, doing her best to unhook his ankles from the windowsill while being pinned down. A task that was very difficult when she was receiving absolutely no help from the boy who might as well have been passed out. "Because as her best friend, I think I'd have something to say about that."

"She's nice to... to you... but not me... never me anymore...." Steve mumbled, his words trailing off quietly. Bambi sighed as she finally got him free and managed to roll him off of her legs. Steve looked utterly pathetic like this. She felt bad for him. She really did. Nancy had disclosed to her one night that she wasn't sure if she loved Steve, and it ate away at Bambi that she couldn't pass that information on. It hurt to watch one of her friends potentially lead on her other friend in that way, but it wasn't her place to meddle in their relationship. All she could do was be there to pick up the pieces for them both when it was finally over.

"Come on, buddy, let's get you some dry clothes, a slice of bread, some water, and some painkillers," Bambi got up and rifled through her wardrobe to find some clothes she'd pinched from Steve's house last time she crashed there overnight. She found some and threw them on the bed next to Steve, along with a towel so he could attempt to dry himself off. "Come on! Hurry up and stop getting my sheets all wet!" Bambi did her best to try and pull Steve up to his feet. He seemed to be trying to help, but due to how drunk he was, he kept on flopping back down. In the end, Bambi just gave up and let him sit on the bed. She decided it was easier to just let him go at his own pace. "Look, I'm not going to get you dressed because you're a big boy, and you can do that all by yourself. I'm just going to wait for you in the kitchen, and you can join me when you're ready." Bambi walked over to her bedroom door, turning around just as she opened it. "You know, you're damn lucky George is out visiting the other diner this week. He'd have your head as tomorrow's special if he caught you here past 8pm."

With that, Bambi closed her door behind her and yawned as she flicked the lights on and made her way to the kitchen. Bambi decided to take pity on Steve and treat him to a proper sandwich and not just a slice of bread. She'd just finished plating one up for him and one for herself when he stumbled out of her room dressed in the spare clothes. Bambi noticed his t-shirt was on backwards, but that wasn't the end of the world. She'd set aside a glass of water and some painkillers and placed them down in front of him next to the sandwich as he sat down at the dining room table.

"Eat, drink, take," Bambi demanded, pointing at them. Steve complied with a dopey, drunk smile plastered on his face.

"You should... you should be a chef," Steve told her in between bites of the sandwich. "This is so good."

"I'm flattered, but it's literally just a ham and cheese sandwich," Bambi snorted as she finished off her own sandwich. "George doesn't trust me with actually cooking anything after I set fire to custard." "George doesn't trust you with anything," Steve's words had stopped slurring quite so much. Bambi hoped that meant the sandwich and water were doing their job of sobering him.

"Believe me, George has trusted me with a lot more than I deserve," Bambi sighed. It was true. Up until moving to Hawkins, Bambi hadn't done much to earn the trust George had given her from day one. But, she was working on repaying him as much as she could. It felt easier to do now that he knew her whole story.

"You deserve lots of good things," Steve yawned. Bambi did her best to hold back a smile while she took their plates and placed them in the sink. She'd wash them up in the morning.

"Well, how about you help out with that by helping me change my sheets so we can sleep on a dry bed?" Bambi asked. Steve nodded with another yawn as they made their way back to Bambi's bedroom. He didn't help much with changing the sheets, but Bambi appreciated him trying. Maybe she'd even forgive him for waking her up at 1am... Maybe.

Once the sheets had been changed, Bambi climbed back into bed. She was fortunate enough to have a double bed for the first time in her life, so there was enough room for Steve to sleep on the bed too. Bambi considered making him sleep on the couch, but given how drunk he was, she didn't trust him not to somehow suffocate himself in between the couch cushions. At least this way, she could keep an eye on him.

"Goodnight, Steve," Bambi reached over and ruffled his hair which was still slightly damp and had lost its volume in the rain.

"G'night, Bee," Steve responded with the nickname he'd started calling her a few months ago. Bambi had resisted it at first, but she gave in when she realised that resisting it openly only caused Tommy and Carol to catch on to the fact that she didn't like it and used it mockingly whenever she didn't comply with their plans. When she'd stopped reacting to it, they stopped using it. Now it was only Steve who called her Bee, and she was fine with that.

Just as Bambi was drifting off to sleep again, Steve started speaking.

"I wish you were Nancy," He mumbled into the pillow. Bambi didn't want to unpack what he'd just said, or rather, what he'd just implied. It was too late, and he was too drunk. Hopefully, he wouldn't even remember it in the morning.

"I wish you'd be quiet and let me sleep," Bambi diverted the topic as best she could. "Just so you know now, you're helping me open the diner tomorrow morning as payment for my hospitality." Bambi was met with snoring in response. She rolled her eyes and rolled over onto her side to look at Steve.

He was a big goofy dork, but she wouldn't change him for a second.

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well, that wraps it up for season 1! :o

so excited to be able to delve more into steve and bambi's relationship and show y'all their dynamic some more!!! 

likes are very much appreciated and I will give each and every one of you little kisses on the forehead for each comment you write :)

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taglist (let me know if you want to be added!)

@missyviolet123

[nukedimplosion]

Deltarune Knight Theory

Spoilers Ahead

----------------------------

The Knight, in all known cases, is called by 'it/its/they/them' pronouns. I will be using 'it/they' pronouns for this theory.

Who is the Knight?

Most people know by now that the Knight is the main antaganist within Deltarune.

It is the creator of the first and second dark fountain, in a bid to bring everlasting darkness to the land.

It is a manipulator. Someone who can convince people like the Spade King and Queen into playing into their own destruction within the Roaring.

And in this theory, I propose it is the vessel we make at the start of the game.

This theory is viable because the game saves the vessel data.

At the very start of the game, you can create a vessel. This vessel is promptly thrown into oblivion and replaced with Kris.

The exact wording is 'will now be discarded'

'No longer useful or desirable'

Useful and desirable?

Well, where have I seen that before?

Ah, yes. The entire Darkner species, at least how it is commonly described.

Darkners are repeatedly mentioned as people who's purpose is to be useful to lightners, to be desired.

And when they are nolonger, when they get left behind because they aren't needed or wanted enough?

You get the Chaos King. Someone who is angry abour being left in shadows and being stripped of meaning.

And then the Queen.

Who just wants to make everyone happy. To be useful, like a computer commonly is. To be desirable. To make things better.

A Darkner who can't assist or be good for Lightners has no meaning. The King didn't want that, he said the Knight gave Darkners a new meaning.

It is easy to see how the vessel could fit with this theme. The theme of Darkners who want to be loved but aren't, who want to be useful but are 'discarded'.

Let's look at this text -

"UNUSED_slash_UNUSED_gml_1_0": "Where...",

"UNUSED_slash_UNUSED_gml_2_0": "Where am I?",

"UNUSED_slash_UNUSED_gml_3_0": "Hello...? Anyone...?",

"UNUSED_slash_UNUSED_gml_4_0": "Is... is anybody out there...?",

"UNUSED_slash_UNUSED_gml_5_0": "Someone!? Anyone!? Can anyone hear me!?",

"UNUSED_slash_UNUSED_gml_6_0": "...",

"UNUSED_slash_UNUSED_gml_7_0": "It's dark.",

"UNUSED_slash_UNUSED_gml_8_0": "It's so dark here.",

"UNUSED_slash_UNUSED_gml_9_0": "Someone, anyone, if you can hear me...",

"UNUSED_slash_UNUSED_gml_10_0": "Say something... please...",

There have been many theories about who this could be, ranging to Gaster to Dess to whoever else is on the chopping block.

It is in my substantiated opinion that this must be the vessel.

When you talk to Spamton about 'Fear' in his shop, he goes on a bit of a tirade before commenting oddly~

And then he denies having ever heard anything said, before saying~

While staring directly at the camera.

Astute people would know by now that Spamton is one of the characters who is quite distinct when it comes to Kris and the player, with few exceptions.

For example, during a neutral/pacifist route, Spamton uses Kris's name constantly, while in Snowgrave, he doesn't use it once. The limit on how much he knows is unknown, but what we should know is that him looking right at the camera wasn't just for creep factor.

This message is for us. The player.

Gaster wouldn't call for you, he and you were connected a while ago.

Dess wouldn't call for you, there's no reason for her too. Maybe Kris, but why you?

No, the person who would call for you would be the exact person you left behind.

The text itself is similar to the unused text, but in the Japanese version, the unused text and Spamtons dialogue are the same.

Credit to @suzyundertale for pointing this out. This is their post that explains the Japanese text.

But there's more.

Here is what Spamton has to say if you talk to him about the 'Knight'.

Spamton seems to be unable to disclose whatever information he has about the Knight.

But why? What is the ending of that sentence?

Whatever it was, it sent Spamton in a frenzy, talking to someone we can't see.

This doesn't feel like Gaster. Gaster has been articulate and well thought out all the times we've heard him. Gaster suddenly strangling Spamton for whatever reason seems out of character.

It's someone who doesn't want Kris to know whatever information Spamton has, or maybe they don't want you to know, desprete enough that it reacts with violence when Spamton mentions anything about the Knight.

That's two occasions of Spamton being controlled.

One is by someone, hiding information about the Knight.

One is by someone stuck in darkness, calling out for the player.

Perhaps they are the same person.

But why?

Why create the dark fountains? Why hide information? How did they escape the darkness?

Well, quite simply, they want to be loved.

Let's look at Ralsei, shall we?

Ralsei looks like Asriel. Ralsei in most ways, is like Asriel. But he's off. He's lonely. He's a prince with no subjects, who follows the story as it's told and is very much in the mind of doing everything for the sake of Lightners.

Quite easily, we can say he's Kris's headband or whatever. Something Inconsequential.

But what if the Knight made him?

If at any point the vessel saw Kris, it would see the life they have, one with Asriel who loves them dearly.

To add insult to injury, the vessel looks so much like Kris, it's uncanny.

If you were lonely and admiring of someone elses life, why not create someone who looks like their brother? Someone made of the same darkness you are, made from the void. I doubt that wouldn't be able to witstand going to a slightly different dark fountain.

But, something happens, who knows what, and you and the lonely prince hardly ever meet. Never for long.

I don't doubt that Ralsei was actually lonely. It fit's with his character too well for him not to have been. But he isn't like other darkners, but he isn't a lightner if him disappearing whenever he goes down has anything to say about it, so void magic goat boy is my best guess.

Perhaps he was even based around the red headband, with the vessel only adding more power ontop of him and his fountain.

(I may make a seperate theory about Ralsei later, tell me if you wanna see that)

This is to say that the Knight is either jealous or admiring of Kris and their life. Kris is alive, they make their own choices, they get to live.

The Knight, the vessel, doesn't get that. It wants to live like Kris but can't, so they opt to being more like them and replicating their life instead.

It wants to be like them, perhaps even in choice of weapon?

A knife. Just like Kris's.

This is one of the main contributers to why people think the Knight is Kris. After all, what is the chances that the Knight and Kris both use knives to punture darkness fountains?

But I feel like this explains it nicely.

Heck, the fact that the Knight is the Knight may be because of Kris/the player and the vessel are so similar and the players form is that of a knight.

And this theory isn't even going to go into the connections between the Knight and Gaster, and inherent connection with the Vessel.

So what is their goal?

Well, to put it simply, I have no idea.

To put it less simply, I have several ideas but all can be argued for and against. Let's simplify this with a bulleted list. I'll add a A-F for how much I like it, A being 'I like this one the most', F being 'viable, but I hate it.'

It's goal is to screw Kris over. It's a situation where their fully in the belief that you abandoned it for Kris and hates them as a result. D

It's goal is to cover the world in darkness so it can truely exist. After all, if all is covered in darkness, then they can be seen and heard and no longer be discarded. As someone made from the void, it would survive the Roaring, and be able to lead the Lightners in the dark, finally being useful. B

It's their goal to get you back. It thinks if it can reobtain you, they will feel alive. This will backfire as now a more independent vessel is thown into the feeling of being controlled. C

It's their goal to screw you over. They want Kris on their side, kind of like 'partners', if you will. A

My only big problem with the last one is I have no idea where the player would be in that situation. Posessing someone else who allows you to in a pacifist run and forcing posession in a snowgrave esc run? Who knows.

I mostly like it because of the thematic tension and the player being pointed at as the villian despite us not really doing anything? At least in a pacifist route.

We didn't want to leave the vessel behind, but we were forced to.

But what is the vessel supposed to think...

When it never could hear you say you loved it.

It may be a combo of multiple motives, or maybe I missed the mark dramtically.

--------

I may make a secound part if people bring more things up and I find more. I mean, there are things I haven't mentioned but you can look into it yourself.

I have other theories I wanna put out but I also want this to not just be a theory blog? Like, I do art too, cmon brain.

I wanna make a Hells roar theory eventually. And something on Ralsei. But I'm doing art before that I swear to god.

Thank you for reading my theory! Please tell me what you think!

[peanutpinet]

Yuta (cold mafia boss)

Prompt: 20)“The only time a man should be fast is when he’s trying to dodge my bullets.” - 100 Dialogue Prompts for Mob Boss AUs

A/N: since NCT 127 have decided to attack us since Friday with all their day/night posts and whatever more things they still got in the back storage, I just gotta do some fics about the dark concept, cause like, yea XD. I asked my friend whose bias is Yuta to choose a prompt and so, here we are XD

Warnings: some form of harassment, cursing (it's Yuta) drinking, spiked drink and hint of kidnapping

It was a Friday night and you were more than excited to finally have some time off to hang out with your boyfriend, Yuta, who was also part "gang leader" of NCT, an infamous group that people thought do illegal doings when they're the ones shutting the illegal businesses down.

Yuta being Yuta didn't disclose what he did from the beginning. But he also never fully tell you everything which, is understandable, it was confidential information. Despite so, Yuta never restricted your movements and you both would have some normal cafe dates, picnic dates, etc. Even so, there will be times where Yuta would have you do some personal training that includes self-defence, quizzes about types of chemicals, guns, etc. In his defense, he just wants you to be prepared should something goes wrong and you're alone.

Despite following Yuta's needs, you would sometimes joke about how it won't happen or that Yuta will make sure it wouldn't go too far or even if anything did happen, you were sure that Yuta would eventually find a way to make things right. Boi, were you in for a treat.

As mentioned, you were finally going to have a night out with Yuta after so long and had just finished getting ready when you received a text from Yuta saying, "hey love, sorry this is super last minute but could you change into a more black-tie dress code? We are sort of having a business dinner tonight and I want to bring you as my date. I'm on my way to pick you up right now. Don't worry, you don't have to put on anything you're uncomfortable cause whatever you wear, you still look hot to me ;)"

So of course you did what Yuta asked. You changed into a simple long black dress that fitted your figure and touched up your makeup a bit more and let your hair down. As you were putting on the last of your accessories and about to put your shoes on, Yuta was already ringing the bell. You quickly opened the door for him and told him that you were just going to put your shoes on which Yuta chuckled and helped you as he saw you struggling.

"You didn't have to go all out and wear heels babe, you'll have sore feet by the end of the night" Yuta mentioned, holding you steady as you were putting on your heels

"I mean, if it's just dinner, I'll just be sitting either way. You so owe me with a pizza movie night next week" you complained, finally putting your shoes

"Anything for you babe. Let's go" Yuta smiled, bringing your arm wrapped around his and helped you get into the car before he went to the driver's seat

Arriving at the dinner, you felt out of place since this was the first time Yuta actually brought you. Noticing your nervous state, Yuta wrapped his arm over your shoulder, telling you that he'll be right beside you unless you need to go to the restroom or need some personal space.

Nodding, Yuta gave you a heartwarming smile and brought you around. First and foremost, to his other members that were joining the dinner, the people you knew the week you and Yuta started dating. Allowing some weight off since how worried you were.

"Oh, (Y/N)!! Welcome!! Hope Yuta didn't force you to come here" Johnny greeted you which Yuta gave him a glare

"Well, he sorta promised me for a pizza movie night date next week, so I guess it's a winwin" you replied, chuckling

"Oooh, can we come? I miss just watching movies on the weekend" Jungwoo requested, pulling out his puppy eyes

"Maybe if you find yourself a girlfriend, I'd consider it" Yuta hissed, you hit him playfully

"Hey (Y/N), sometimes I wonder what you see in Yuta. He's so aggressive" Jungwoo joked as Taeyong tried to calm everyone and directed everyone to their table since dinner was starting

Dinner surprisingly went well and the opposing business partners were actually cooperating; like, they would agree to what NCT were asking, even giving some suggestions for the corporation. But nevertheless, every NCT member were on their best guard; heck, they all had their guns rested by their hips and even knifes hidden within their clothing.

Seeing how the talk about the business bore you, you took a big sip off of the drink the waiter had just poured for you. Suddenly feeling the urge to go to the bathroom, you excused yourself from everyone at the table, nodding your head when Yuta told you to immediately come back once you're done.

However, you didn't go to the bathroom because of the urge to pee or anything. Instead, it's because you didn't feel too good, maybe the alcohol in your drink was a bit too much to your tolerance but whether you want to admit it or not, you didn't feel good and felt like you could pass out at any second.

After purging and sitting down for a bit, you felt slightly better but not good enough because everything around you was tilted. Taking a deep breath, you just kept on thinking how the dinner table wasn't that far and if you hurry, you can just make it to Yuta's side and pass out however you like.

Pulling whatever willpower you have left, you stood up and started to walk out of the bathroom. Holding onto the wall, you slowly walked down the hall back to your table, until someone came up to you, asking if you were alright which you told them that you were fine. You may be dizzy and not feeling good, but you surely weren't dumb nor were you drunk.

Despite the guy saying that all he wanted to do was to help you, you clearly knew that wasn't his true intention since he was gripping you a bit too much to your liking. You've tried pushing him away but that only made his grip tighter. And to top it off, instead of helping you to your actual table or at least asking where your table was, he brought you to a more quiet area; making your heart beat quicker.

Unfortunately, at this point, whatever was in your drink was sinking it and you slowly start to lose consciousness and hope as from what you can see, you were far from your table. But thank the universe because all of a sudden you hear a loud ring and the tight grip was gone; instead, it was replaced by a warm embrace.

"Get him out of here before I actually kill him right here and now" you heard Yuta's stern voice commanding his other members

"I got you, baby. Let's get you back home, hmm?" you heard Yuta's voice turned soft; not having any more energy, you just nodded and fell asleep in his embrace

Because Yuta felt he can't leave you alone nor not torment the people that hurt you, he decided to bring you back to NCT's place. Wiping off your makeup and putting on your skincare for you, Yuta had one of the maids help change your clothes and then he tucked you in bed; not leaving your side until he's convinced that you're fully asleep before leaving a gentle kiss on your forehead then quietly leaving the room.

Walking out of the room, he saw Jeno and Jaemin, asking them to guard your room until he gets back. Making his way to the basement, he met with the NCT members that joined the dinner that did not end well at all.

Turns out, not long after you left, the neos already had a bad feeling; that something was not right, especially since their "business partners" were eyeballing the situation around them and it was revealed that the dinner was just a cover-up and that they were planning to use you to get to the neos, which clearly did not end well for them.

"Is she alright?" Taeyong asked, seeing Yuta was fuming

"She's very much passed out the second I found her. Are they all in there?" Yuta questioned strictly

"Yea. All tied up and blindfolded on the ground" Johnny mentioned

"Good" Yuta smirked, slamming the door open, making the prisoners jerked in surprise

"Rise and shine motherf*ckers. I hope you're ready for what's coming" Yuta shouted as some of the neos took their blindfolds off

"And y'all call yourselves men. Tch. You guys may be agile but not agile enough. The only time a man should be fast is when he’s trying to dodge my bullets. Not getting caught by their enemies. And surely not looking or thinking to do anything to another person's girlfriend. Oh well, what's done is done. Be lucky that we all got there in time. But, that doesn't mean I'll go easy on you. Let's see...should I start off with your fingers because you touched my girl or your head for ever thinking that little stunt of yours. Either way, I'm definitely going to take my time with you all" Yuta ranted, a smirk forming on his face as he saw the horror of his prisoners while the neos put their blindfolds back on

A/N: yeap, this turned out longer than expected. Welp, this is what happens when NCT updates with a dark concept I guess XD

[grewlikefancyflowers]

As a bisexual rape survivor I actually like the incense burner chapters. I don't find it rapey especially if you have actual good reading comprehension. Wangji's dream is literally spurred on by what Wei Ying said to him the first time they had sex together after the temple. It's not a dream he's had since he was 15 nor does he actually want to rape Wei Ying. The dream plays out exactly how Wei Ying says it to Wangji. It's his way of fulfilling Wei Ying's fantasies and indulging him on a subconscious level. Wei Ying regrets that they never slept together back then this how Wangji "fixes" that. It's consensual and they both are into it especially Wei Ying. Wangji is actually ashamed of having dreamt this and doesn't want Wei Ying to see in the beginning, but Wei Ying very much wants to see it. He's not mad at Wangji or ashamed of him in anyway when sees the dream. He actively accepts the unrestrained version of Wangji and encourages it. He's more invested in the dream than Wangji.The only person has a right to be mad is Wei Ying and he very much is the opposite. People reading the novel really have no right to be upset for Wei Ying or disgusted with Wangji when Wei Ying himself is not mad.

On a another note a lot of rape survivors have a rape kink because it helps them deal with the trauma and it allows them to take back control. Even though it's "rape play" when they say no or safeword everything stops and that's a comfort to them and gives them control over their own body. If you kink shame people who have a rape kink especially when a lot them are victims themselves, you're kind of an ass and vilifying rape survivors and making them feel ashamed.

rape kinks/fantasies are so common i'm honestly surprised there's still people getting worked up over it. regardless no one needs trauma or personal experiences to justify their kinks or taste in fiction, nor is anyone ever obliged to disclose personal information to prove what they're allowed to read about, or what kinks they're allowed to engage in. ultimately it doesn't fucking matter lol.

aside from that, i sort of disagree about your stance on how ib1 is supposed to come across. first of all, i do interpret that as a fantasy that lwj had himself, rather than coming solely from wwx. i will get onto why i think that in a bit, but i do also want to point out that the contents of lwj's dream involving wwx is rape. yes it didn't actually happen, yes it was just a dream and no, obviously lwj doesn't actually want to do that to wwx irl. but his fantasies did involve raping/dubconning him (to the tune of no, no, no, yes). i don't think we need to shy away from that in order to justify the existence of ib1. lwj could have done anything at all to wwx in that dream, and would never have been bad, because it's a dream - it did not actually happen and lwj would not actually do that. and it was very cool and sexy of mxtx to make wangxian 100% sexually compatible but even if wwx had hated everything he saw in that dream and never wanted to hear a thing about it again, there still would have been nothing wrong with the dream itself, or lwj for having it.

as for why i think that dream very much was lwj's fantasy, when i first read ib1, my initial reaction was 'oh he just dreamed about wwx's fantasies' but after having reread it quite a few times, i do not think this is what mxtx intended for several reasons. ib1 stuff & ns/fw under the cut..

most obvious is this - 'Wei WuXian clung onto Lan WangJi, almost biting his earlobe, “Yeah, who said you didn’t understand? What you think about in the day you dream about at night. Lan Zhan, tell me the truth, you really want to do this to my past self, don’t you? I can’t believe… that you’re this kind of HanGuang-Jun.”

Although Lan WangJi was still expressionless, the pink had already snuck up to his fair neck. The fingers resting at his knee also curled up unnoticeably.'

and

'“If you were able to dream about it afterwards, HanGuang-Jun, you should’ve just did it to me back then. I…”'

wwx clearly takes this dream as something lwj himself dreamed about the time, lwj does nothing to refute this. his reaction to wwx's first comment seems to indicate that wwx is right.

it is worth mentioning that wwx also assumes in ch.116 that lwj brought the food up from caiyi town rather than making it himself, which lwj does also nothing to refute. but that is cleared up later in the lotus seed pod extra, whereas mxtx writes nothing to directly refute the interpretation that lwj actually had this dream as a teenager.

i also think that if lwj's dream was purely spurred on by wwx's comments, his reaction of not wanting wwx to see it would be completely out of place.

while lwj's dream does bear a lot of resemblance to what wwx talked about in ch.111, there are a lot of details that did not come from wwx...

the forehead ribbon - it was lwj who originally tied wwx up with it during drunk #2, while wwx does ask lwj to do so again, its clearly an interest that initially came from lwj, not the other way around.

lwj's dream is much more... brutal than what wwx described in ch.111, which is - '“Second Young Master Lan, when did you start having feelings for me? If you liked me since such a long time ago, why didn’t you take me sooner? The back mountains of your Cloud Recesses would be quite a good location, wouldn’t it? When I snuck out to fool around alone, you should’ve tied me up and dragged me away, pinned me onto the grass like right now to do whatever you want to me [...] You’re so strong, so I couldn’t have resisted. If I screamed, you could’ve silenced me. Or your Library Pavilion also would’ve been a great place, right in the middle of the scriptures scattered on the ground. We could’ve bought a few cut-sleeve booklets to compare and learn, any position at all…"''

its fairly tame, no? whereas in lwj's dream, he makes wwx bleed - 'White and red instantly dribbled out of the opening, rolling down the thighs.' and 'The hole that’d been forcefully used for so long was swollen, yet it still opened and closed intermittently, seeping white and red.' and 'The milky secretion, the thin streaks of blood, and a clear fluid of unknown origin swished around where the two connected, making a mess of things.'

wwx's pleas for mercy come across far more sincerely than wwx's ott ones he does irl -

'Wei Ying groveled on the mat, his body shifting forward with each thrust. Terror flashed across his face. [..] Pinching his waist, Lan Zhan fucked even harder, still without any method. After a while at such a level of intensity, Wei Ying finally couldn’t take it any longer.

Half his face and his upper body were pressed down on the ground with extreme force. He rambled incoherently, “S-Spare me, spare me… Lan Zhan, Second Young Master Lan, spare me…”' (Ch.117)

and

'Wei Ying’s cries also became more miserable, “Lan Zhan… Lan Zhan… Did… Did you hear me… It’s too deep… Don’t come in all the way… My stomach hurts…”' (Ch.117)

and

'he mumbled almost as if he was on his last breath, “Listen… Listen to me, outside, ooutside there are people waiting for me. Jiang Cheng and the rest… are still waiting for me outside… Ah!”' (Ch.117)

compared to his 'pleas' in in reality

'Wei WuXian pleased him with kisses and rambled on, lacking all pride, “Er-gege, do me a favor and spare me a last breath. We’ve got so much time on our hands. Let’s continue next time, let’s continue with you hanging me up, yeah? Spare this virgin today, won’t you? HanGuang-Jun is too strong and the YiLing Patriarch has lost miserably. They shall fight again next time!”' (Ch.111)

additionally, in ch.111 before wwx has even started running his mouth, lwj is aroused by the idea of him being in pain (or being a virgin, or both. probably both)

wwx also repeatedly asks lwj to use to silencing spell on him, which lwj never does either in reality or in his dream, since it's obviously not something he is interested in.

so the question of whether or not lwj's fantasies are actually just indulging wwx's, no i don't think this is the case at all. let's not forget how lwj demanded to know why wwx wasn't resisting in ch.115.

i also think the context within in the dream is quite out of place for a grown man to retrospectively have. teenage lwj was pretty incensed by wwx's porn book prank, the whole scenario of lwj proving wrong wwx's claims that he's inexperienced just comes across as a classic 'coming up with a good retort long after the argument has ended' type scenario .. its childish, especially the need to prove his knowledge/experience. would grown lwj care enough about something like that to dream about it? i don't think so.

final point, i do think the interpretation of lwj's dream being something he only had as an adult in response to wwx's comments detracts from his character a little.

mxtx wrote the extras for funsies, but not just for funsies. it's one of the few proper insights we get into lwj's thoughts. for everything that happened there to just come from wwx in the first place makes it all a bit... pointless? why would mxtx go onto lwj's mind in that extra just to tell us something that we already know - wwx has a rape kink & and lwj likes doting on him. we don't need ib1 to tell us that. instead, i think the purpose was to give further context to lwj's actions as a teenager, specifically his... intense reactions to wwx. i do not think it was 'gay panic' or a struggle to accept his feelings, because as soon as wwx leaves the cloud recesses, lwj travels for lotus seed pods, is interested in trying the foods wwx recommended. lwj isn't someone who acts impulsively or thoughtlessly, he didn't walk 10 miles just to get some lotus seed pods with the stems attached without thinking about why he was doing it. i believe teenage lwj was very much aware of his feelings, and for the most part accepting of them. but, compared to his wistful attitude when wwx is away, as soon as he encounters him again at the qishan archery competition, he's his usual hot & cold self with wwx.

time for unhinged hours i guess but lwj didn't struggle to accept his feelings for wwx, he struggled with how to deal with the brat because he was just tryna hold back from dubconning him the whole time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

on top of that, taking lwj's kinks that far back in his life provides so much more juiciness to the ongoing narrative of consent in his character arc.