#i didn't plan for this to be on mother's day

[woso-dreamzzz]

Injured (Alba's Version) IV

Alexia Putellas x Teen!Reader

Summary: The aftermath

*TW: parental neglect, aftermath of suicide*

It takes Alexia nearly a week until she realises you're missing.

You're self-sufficient and independent. You've never needed much and it's not weird for Alexia to not see you for days on end.

You come home from whatever you spend your days doing and go straight to your room.

You make your own meals, she's pretty sure because she never has to make extra. Just enough for a family of three. Two when Olga is away from work.

It's a fleeting thing really, the only way that she realises you've disappeared.

She knocks on your door, intent on finally having that conversation about what you're planning on doing with your future.

There's no answer.

"Now's not the time to sulk, y/n," She calls through the door," If you don't come out then I'm coming in!"

Still silence.

"One! Two!"

Alexia doesn't wait for three, shoving open the door.

She expects to see you on your bed, sulking or whatever it is you do when she's not around.

You're not there though.

Your bed is made. Your clothes are packed away.

There's nothing out of place. Nothing to prove that this room was even really yours apart from a few neat stacks of paper on your desk.

Alexa glances over them, frowning as if they'd give her the answer to where you've gone.

She's been home since last night, the first one up and awake in the house. There's no way you could have snuck past her.

"Jaume!" She yells out," Where's your sister?"

"I don't know! Out with friends or something?"

That's odd.

Alexia can't remember the last time you mentioned a friend to her. To be honest, Alexia can't remember the last time the two of you actually had a conversation.

She shuffles through the papers on your desk.

Yes, she thinks, you must be with friends because there's three tickets to a ballet performance on Saturday.

You must be wanting to take them with you.

It's only when Alexia sits up that night, waiting for you to come home, that she gets the sinking feeling you're not coming back.

She waits for hours until the early hours of the next morning and the sun begins to rise before panic lances through her chest.

You've not come home.

She checks her phone, wondering if she missed a text saying you would stay at a friend's house but there's nothing.

She checks your room, just to see if you've climbed in through the windows but they're locked.

You are nowhere.

She pulls Jaume out of school for the day. She calls Olga to come home from Madrid.

She scours all of the places she thinks you hang out but you're nowhere to be seen.

It's almost like you've never existed in the first place.

The call comes in the evening.

It's Alba.

"I can't talk right now," Alexia says after two missed calls," I'm-"

"I'm sorry," Alba says instead.

"What?"

"I'm sorry." Alba chokes her words out like they're so physically painful she can barely say them. Like she's so numb that even talking is difficult. "I tried but..."

"Alba? What's happened? Listen, I really can't talk right now. I'm-"

"I really did try. They did too but it was already too late."

"Alba, what is going on?"

"We should go to the hospital," Alba says," I'll send you which one."

In the deepest pit of her chest, Alexia already knows what has happened. In some deep, dark part of her, she's known since Alba called. In the worst, most hidden piece of herself, Alexia has known since the beginning.

It's an awful thing for an aunt to see.

It's a terrible thing for a brother to see.

It's even worse for a mother to see.

A picture goes up at the ballet company.

(Alexia didn't even know you joined one).

It's of you smiling, the headhsot that they used on the website, displayed proudly in the main foyer.

'Rest In Peace' sits under it and a little plaque with your name and how long you lived. It states your interests with no hint about trains at all. It talks about your reserved disposition but mentions how you endeared yourself to everyone.

Flowers sit under it, bouquets upon bouquets from the dancers and the staff and audience members who have seen you perform.

(Alexia has never been to a performance once).

Support pours in from people Alexia hasn't spoken to in years. Old coaches. Old teammates. Old friends.

Everyone seems to have a fond memory of you but all Alexia can think about is the last words she said to you.

She can't remember them.

She can't remember what she said or how she felt or what she was doing.

There is a gap in her memory from that moment.

Everyone talks about you so fondly, with such clarity that Alexia can't replicate.

You have gone on a wisp of breeze and Alexia is left trying to catch the impossible.

Her mind circles around herself, trying to work out where this all went wrong.

She loved you. She loved you so much.

Her beautiful baby girl who was a little nervous and a little quiet but beautiful all the same.

The little girl who loved trains and ballet and doing all the super feminine stuff that Alexia had to learn when she was a bit older.

The people around her tell stories of you, like Ingrid talking about how you used to love having her braid your hair back but Alexia sits there numb.

She's been numb since she saw your body in the hospital morgue.

She's been numb since the funeral where you lay in your coffin, perfectly peaceful like you were taking a long sleep.

She's been numb since they all returned to Eli's house for food and drink to celebrate your life.

Alba is not talking to her, has not talked to her outside what is needed since she called.

Alexia hasn't even noticed, too preoccupied with the realisation that she's a mother that just had to bury her daughter.

It was not a disease that took you. It was not a heart attack. It was not a random attack on the street.

It was you.

You made this decision, decided that this world was not worth living in anymore. That you could no longer cope with everything happening around you.

Things that Alexia has no knowledge on and, now, will never have any knowledge on.

You thought that this path was better than returning home.

You thought that everything would be better, more peaceful if you took your life away.

People have been cautious around Alexia, seeing just how close she is to tears.

She didn't cry during the funeral when you were lowered down into the ground with nothing but a neat blouse and a skirt.

Nothing to take with you now that you're gone.

Olga had to pack your things away in your room because Alexia could not force herself to even step through the doorway.

Your things are gone.

You are gone.

And Alexia will never know why.

[morphodae]

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · · ღ HSR Men Becoming Parents (part I) ღ · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · · ✦ I used a randomized wheel to select some characters on parent/baby head-canons. I will do the rest in other parts, and I also plan on including the HSR women as parents too! ≫ Note: some children of these characters are biological and some are adopted! :) ✦ CW: some related story spoilers for characters, non-graphic mentions of labor and delivery, pregnancy, fluff, mentions of angst but not much

✦ Characters: Aventurine, Boothill, Gallagher, Jiaoqiu x Reader (separate)

≫"Aventurine" - Kakavasha • ♧ • ☆———☆ • ♧ •  You aren't sure why you were nervous to tell him in the first place. He takes the news shockingly well; with a bright, wide smile and a tight hug. But there's no mistaking the tremble in his hands as he envelops you, the worry that furrows between his brows at night when he thinks to his own family, his clan, and their fate. So when that fateful day arrives and you go into labor, it nearly kills him to be kept out of the room with you. "There's issues happening, sir. She's lost a lot of blood and still is, but we are doing everything we can to ensure baby and mother survive this."

Hours pass, minutes, eternity. The mocking ticking of the clock does little to lessen the incessant pacing Aventurine does with his leg as he sits, gets up to pace, then sits some more. Every possible scenario runs through his mind; none of them are positive. He can't help but think back to his cursed luck, to the fate that befell his family and now - you. His child. His flesh and blood and his hope for the future... would he even be awarded that chance? Or would "luck" take you away from him, too? Nearly stumbling over himself, a nurse comes to get him; her eyes dark, exhausted, and her face forlorn as a tired smile stretches gently across her face. "They are both stable now. Would you like to see your little boy, Mr. Aventurine?" ≫ Boothill ━━✥◈✥━━ "Well fudge me! Ain't no way it actually worked!" He spins you around in his strong cybernetic arms; ecstasy doesn't even do his own emotions justice in this very moment. The two of you looked at galactic doctors in passing, some promising the idea of conception as long as Boothill had some genetic makeup left on his person. Which he did: his head and his hair. Still, the two of you didn't put much stock into it but figured you might as well both try. If not, neither of you had any issue being childless or even adopting an orphan from one of the many war planets. Boothill, for as curt and reckless as he could be, always admired your enormous heart for children and animals who had no home, and no one to take care of them. So, when the news of that so-called galactic genius of a doctor managed to successfully combine both your and Boothill's genes to create a baby, it isn't several minutes before Boothill lets your feet touch the ground. Even so, throughout your pregnancy, he still doesn't let your feet touch the ground. Call it dedication to you, his spouse, but also call it a fear of losing his family again. Months pass by quicker than expected and Boothill always managed to talk with the growing life inside you every night, telling stories of the sister they could've had, how proud he was of them already, how much of a fighter they were gonna be when they managed to kick you a little too hard.

And so, when time passes by in another blur, Boothill's eyes are glazed over as he stares down at the tiniest little bundle swaddled in his arms. Tiny tufts of hair that resemble his fill her small head, eyes thar resembles yours. She looks up at him, at her daddy, and one stray arm lands square on his face until her hand squeezes at his nose. Boothill is speechless for once; glad his little girl is strong and healthy and reaching out for his face - the one part of his body he can still feel touch. He swears on every part of his being: it's not just you he has to keep safe anymore, but his new chance at being a father.

≫ Gallagher ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

The enigma known as "Gallagher" has always perplexed you. Even when the two of you met; just who or what was he? A person? A former person? Or an amalgamation of dreams? He proves you wrong one day when he decides to travel with you to a worn-torn world for your work. As a nurse, you usually went by yourself, but for whatever reason, Gallagher decided to tag along. "It'll be nice to stretch these old legs and get out to new sights," he said. That was before the two of you were stumped: staring slack-jawed at the little boy who had smuggled himself onto your ship. He is a Halovian child; small wings flapping nervously out of shame as he peers at the two of you behind some shipping crates. Sighing, you reach down to his level, outstretching your hand and hoping that your demeanor will allow the child to feel safe with you. To your and Gallagher's surprise, the little Halovian rushes to you in a desperate hug, a familiar sound of sniffles and a dampness near the collar of your shirt. "Please! I have nowhere to go! I'm so, so, so sorry to have snuck on to your ship!" the boy sniffles, voice muffled by the fabric he buried his face into by your neck, "please don't leave me! I p-promise I'll be useful!"

'Useful'... a word Gallagher could resonate with, one that hit a little harder than most when he slowly began approaching the boy in your arms. Something changed in his demeanor then, large, scarred hand deciding to ruffle the boy's hair until the Halovian sniffled and peered up at him. "No need to cry, kid. We'll take you with us, alright?" Gallagher glances to you for approval and you send him a kind smile and nod. The young boy grips on harder to your shirt, thanking you profusely as you carry him off somewhere safe until you can go through the proper channels to adopt him.

≫ Jiaoqiu —————❖————— "Why?"

"Why?" "How could I ever be upset with you...? The only part of me that's upset is you thinking I wouldn't want you after this news." He wraps his arms around you, contented smile on his face. "If this is what you want then, yes, of course it'll be hard, but I'm willing to experience this with you." Your hormones are raging as you hug him back, fear slowly dissipating as the guilt for letting yourself fall pregnant when Jiaoqiu's eyesight and wounds were still healing. "I never thought an old fox like me could be a dad, heh," he mumbles, holding you just a little closer, "but I think I could get used to it... the word: 'Papa'."

Despite one of senses severely impaired, Jiaoqiu is still just as much of a mother-hen as always; ensuring you are taken care of, properly nourished, and resting when you need to. He uses the excuse each day that he "needs to check your progress" on the growth of your belly, but knowing he has little to no experience with pregnancy as a healer, it's quite obvious he's lying just to feel your tummy and bond with his little kit. Jiaoqiu will use text-to-speech books on pregnancy and parenting frequently, telling you all about the progress and changes your body is going through. And, for the record, he takes any mood swings and changes quite well; the reason is quite simple, too. He never thought he'd ever have the luxury of settling down with a family of his own and so, he cherishes every single moment of the process: good and bad. When you go into labor, he's immediately at your side. His Foxian blood can practically sense it. His instincts take the better of him and he refuses to leave your side for even a single moment; wrapping his tail protectively around you and nuzzling his face close to yours with a flurry of kisses and encouraging words. His hand certainly hurts when you squeeze it, but he doesn't mind. He also doesn't mind if you feel the need to scream; in fact, he encourages you to let it out if it hurts. Feeling the tears on your face and hearing the agony in your voice as you try to stifle your cries hurts him more than you know. But, oh... when the first cries of his beautiful child is brought into the world, he feels that familiar lump of emotion forming in his throat, his chest constricting. When you describe what she looks like, describes just how much she resembles him, Jiaoqiu breaks down. He apologizes quickly and tries to compose himself. But it doesn't last long when he's allowed to hold his daughter with your guidance.

When her tiny hands wrap around his finger, he knows... he knows that he's finally reached a point where his centuries of healing others has finally begun to mend his broken heart back together.

© morphodae (please do not insert any of my works into artificial intelligence programs or repost my works on any site)

[hanjsquokka]

strawberry cake.

kim seungmin × fem!reader — high school! au, childhood friends to potential lovers, fluff

summary — seungmin only needs one present on his birthday, and it isn't the sugary dessert you made for him.

word count — 1.1K

warnings — fluff, fluff, FLUFF!!

author's note — happy seungmin day 🩷 i actually managed to post a fic on a member's birthday, who am i. initially thought of my baseball ksm fic but i know i'm not gonna finish that lol and his instagram posts were very inspiring. i think i watched this happen in some movie or tv show i watched, i don't remember 😭 but i thought it was really cute, lmk what you guys think <3

please consider leaving feedback in the comments or reblogs as they really make my day 💕

Kim Seungmin didn't like celebrating his birthday that much. Sure, he liked receiving a few gifts from his friends and a happy birthday here and there, but he didn't like the blowout parties that you loved. On your birthday, you would plan this whole thing, inviting friends from school and neighbors to celebrate your birthday. You were a social butterfly, so he understood why you did that. You loved being surrounded by people you cherished. Your birthday was just an excuse to call everyone over and spend time with them.

Seungmin, however, liked keeping his celebrations more reserved. His mother greeted him in the morning, making his favorite breakfast to eat and favorite lunch to take to school. His dad handed him some cash to buy something to eat after school, which he usually didn't do and opted to save it for a better cause. His sister offered to take him out for lunch on the weekend. 

Of course, being the wonderful and amazing best friend that you were (your words), you always went out of your way to do something. Like this year, you presented him with a small cake slightly smushed in your lunch box with haphazardly thrown purple sprinkles.

“I made it from scratch,” you added with a big grin as you sat in front of his desk. His friends had left a few moments ago to play on the school grounds. He'd stayed back, finishing up the last of his lunch and letting it settle in his stomach before he ran around playing soccer. A small smile formed on his face; he could never dislike your enthusiasm for his birthday.

“It looks... artistic,” he said in an amused tone, looking up from the lunch box to your face, which was scrunched up in a frown.

“I didn't know the box would be small... And hey, I baked this for you; at least show some appreciation!”

Seungmin laughed. “Sorry, thank you for making this cake for me.” He meant that; he knew that you knew it too, because your shoulders relaxed, and you prompted him to take a bite and tell him how it tasted. There was a little too much sugar for his liking, but he didn't tell you that, instead nodding his head in approval and eating more of it. It was strawberry-flavored, his favorite. It warmed his heart that you always went out of your way to do things the way that he liked.

When he looked back at you, you were tucking a strand of hair back as you ate a spoonful. The longer he looked at you, the faster his heartbeat went, his body feeling hot right up to the tip of his ears. It was a weird feeling, but not foreign. Lately, it had been happening more often. He started seeing you in a different light, something other than a friend—not just any friend, but a childhood friend. He wasn't naive; he knew what crushes were, and he knew he had one on you.

It was a realization he had come across a few months ago when his family and yours went to the carnival over the summer and the two of you had gotten separated. He came home that day, heart tap dancing in his ribcage and a never-ending smile on his face from the way you jumped with excitement after you worked together to win the obviously rigged carnival games and winning a plushie.

Some part of him knew that. You liked him back as well; he hoped his brain wasn't playing tricks on him when he saw the way your eyes lit up after seeing him. The innocent friendship you two shared was morphing into something different—a good different. 

That evening, while the two of you were walking home after the extra classes you had, the crisp evening air sent a tingle down his spine as he walked along the pavement, listening to whatever you were talking about and adding his own insights whenever he felt like it.

“Oh, hey, look! Tteokbokki!” You said excitedly, pointing to the food cart run by a middle-aged woman serving the steaming hot spicy rice cakes to a few customers. With a tug of his arm, you dragged him over and ordered one spicy one for both of you to share. He didn't like eating spice as much as you did, but he didn't want to say no to you. After a short debate, he used his birthday money to pay for the food, and the two of you walked along the riverside slowly as you ate.

“Mm, these are good,” you let out a satisfied hum and continued eating.

“They are,” he agreed. The spice was present at the back of his throat, but it was weirdly good after the oversweet cake he had during lunch.

“It tastes good after eating that sugar monster I made, right?” Seungmin turned his head to look at you. “What? Don't give me that look, that cake was so sweet, how did you even finish the whole thing? It tasted like I dumped a whole box of sugar in the batter.”

“True… But you made it, so I wanted to eat it,” he admitted, feeling his face flush lightly. If you teased him about it, he was going to brush it off and blame it on the tteokbokki, but your own cheeks mimicked his, tinging red at his sudden admission. 

“Still,” you protested, “I'll have to make a better one that doesn't taste like cavities.”

“I like the oversweet one. Maybe I'm an extra sugar kinda person.”

"No, you're not.”

“It wasn't even that bad.”

“Now you're just lying.”

The two of you dissolved into laughter, finishing up the last of your food. The walk home continued in relative silence for a while, him mulling over his words and wondering if he made you uncomfortable because you were too quiet. Before he could make an apology, you spoke quietly.

“I'm glad you liked it, but I still wish I could've given you a better birthday present.”

He stared at the path in front of them, the streets lit up by lamps and porch lights. “You already gave me the perfect birthday present.”

You tilted your head to the side. “What?”

“You,” he blurted out, regretting his words the next second, but once he saw your flustered reaction, his nerves calmed a little. “Now let's go home and act surprised at whatever my parents planned.” You giggled in response and nodded, your footsteps falling in sync as you walked beside him.

“Happy birthday, Seungmin.”

“You said that like ten times today!”

 

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©hanjsquokka | copying, translating or republishing my work is strictly prohibited

[charlie-thewitch]

Chapter II

"What are you talking about" Shen Jiu hissed. He does not have the time nor the willingness to entertain this clearly delusional man more than he already has. Honestly, he probably shouldn't have freed his mouth if this is what's coming out of it.

"Gege I know it's been like 20 years or something but you couldn't have forgoten about me, could you? This breaks Didi's poor heart" Said the other, batting his eyelashes like a little mistress asking daddy for a new dress and it's making him sick. Fuck this. Fuck all of this.

"You don't even know my name and this one doesn't have any siblings, so shut up. I'll fucking leave you here if you say another stupid thing" Shen Jiu walks to the corpse of the fat man with a grimace. He would prefert to not do this but the prospect of ruining a nobles day by liberating "the merchandise" is too sweet to pass after all.

Taking the sleeve with just two fingers, Shen Jiu brings it up enough to search inside. Dropping on the ground the knickknacks the man inexplicably had inside. Well, the money he keeps. Shizun is too cheap with her disciples and inns are disgusting while brothels are expensive. He'll need a good night's sleep after this and his prey will be founding it.

"We didn't actually had names" With the keys in hand Shen Jiu walks to the largest cage he can see and passes his founding to the frightened woman inside. Only when she understands what to do and gets to work opening all the cages on sight does he turn around to the nuisance still tied and sitting on the dirty ground. "What?"

"When we lived with mother; we didn't have names. That man-" He said it with so much venom Shen Jiu could for a single moment believe they were siblings after all. "-never let her name us. He was planning on selling us from before we were even born so she 'shouldn't get attached'. She fought him, naturally, but Mother only could do so much... He took you first, I was too sick to be sold just yet"

Shen Jiu is marginally grateful the other slaves ran as soon as they were freed from the cages because he doesn't need reports of what he'll do to this bastard to reach Shizun. A murder outside of the permitted by the mission will look so bad on his already muddy reputation. "Good story, you should write a book" He deadpans.

"It's the truth!" The guy pouts, as if that helps his case at all and doesn't just make him look crazier. "Gege could easily prove we are related with a talisman, couldn't you? I know fancy cultivators have that type of tools just lying around!"

"You want me to believe you remember bullcrap from when 'we' were, what, 4 years old?" Shen Jiu said mockingly

"Gege isn't even denying he was a slave like me" A curious head tilt and Shen Jiu suddenly feels like he's missing something, again. He hates that feeling. "He knows deep down that this Didi is saying something important." That knowing look is pissing him off, but he can't deny felling the littlest bit curious. The guy stole his face, that's undeniable. And a sibling relationship could very well explain it.

But is he ready for the implications? Is he ready to have a family, a fucked up one he is sure, but, family?

Qi-ge Yue Qi used to call them brothers but that didn't stop him at the moment of betraying him for a better life. Is this guy actually interested in Shen Jiu or is this his ploy to be freed? He already saw Shen Jiu give the keys to the others, surely there's no need for him to still be talking to Shen Jiu at all?

Shen Jiu could always just make the test and drop this guy on the streets if it came out negative and... And if it's positive that'll mean there's someone in this world who is his.

There's no way to change one's blood. He knows that very well. His blood may very well be running in this guys veins. An undeniable bond to someone, something unbreakable. This could mean he has a brother, maybe even a mother that... Loved him.

A mother. One that loved this wretched creature. Proff that he didn't came out wrong, twisted.

Is Shen Jiu being too naive? The simple promise of a past loved one has him doubting the most basic instinct of caring for no one but himself. Hope is an ugly thing he thought dead and buried years ago under charred wood and ash.

Shen Jiu returned his gaze to the young man, serious and grave. He can't believe he is doing something so stupid but one thing is true in all street children: If you can take something, do it. And never give anything back. "You will follow me and not say a single word to anyone. Understood? I will have to ask someone back at the sect for a blood testing tool" This guy wants to be his brother? Fine. Let him cope with his horrible personality. Shen Jiu is never diminishing himself for the comfort of others. Never again.

A sly smile is his answer, and he can't quite help the feeling he just got played. "This Didi will do as Gege says..."

Prev - Next (soon)

[mehiwilldoitlater]

Now hear me out,what if. What if we did get Sent back to our world. But. Our monke was sent with us. Pretty please 👉👈🥺 We gotta fuel the shenanigans of things somehow. I wanna see him get whiplash from both technology and culture shock. We've been nice to our boi for a good while,it's time to bully him finally.

When you both wake up in the middle of the city, with people standing, asking if there was a con around or something, you know that you both are in something big.

You needed to find a good hiding place, but you knew what was happening: you and the Destined One were now in your own world.

The buzzling city, the cars, the technology—everything made his poor brain scrumble. You cane from this?! This chaos?!

The smell for him is difficult to handle, the absence of trees, and the strange behavior of the people...

///

"This is...your home?"

"Yup."

Hiding in a tree, the two of you admired the small portion of the city that the park hallowed you to observe. While you remembered what it feels like to breathe the same air where you were born, Yuán Fèn couldn't take his eyes off the palace in the distance.

"Are those... pagodas?"

"Oh no, those are skycrapers. People live and work there."

"Oh..."

Everything was out standing. And the mortal did it without the help of gods or others! They did it themselves! He gasped again, his tail swaving excited.

"We should go now! ...Maybe you can finally meet my family!"

///

That's your plan...until you find out what's really happened to you.

You were wondering if the car that had crashed into you was some sort of allucination or something like that, but when you reached your home, you could feel all the pain that you hadn't felt the day of the accident.

When you knocked at your door, you guessed that your mother could feel dizzy. After your disappearance of months, what you didn't expect was her tò Just faint on your porch, right in front of you and Yuán Fèn. You both were able to bring her into her room, and after that, you started to notice a pattern that scared you.

While Yuán Fèn tried to make her come back from the world of the living, you noticed the door of your room locked; many of your photos were missing from the usual spot. And there, in the living room, a photo of you at your prom, in an intricate frame. Written in silver ink, the lines "in loving memory.".

You really wanted to faint at that moment.

///

It feels so strange looking at your own grave. You guessed that they would you in this one particular spot. It was a family place there.

"I told them that I wanted to be cremated."

Yuán Fèn was more interested in trying to decipher your mental state. You were just there, watching at your own photo. He felt so strange... so that was what Mitraya meant when he said you were rebuking everything in your real world by choosing him. He looked again at that stone block, your name carved in there... then moved away.

"Okay, I think I'm in need of... What are you doing?!"

You spotted him taking a few flowers from one spot to another.

"Playing respect!"

"To Who?!"

Then, with the small bouquet in his hand, he put the flowers in the small pot near your photo. 

"..oh ..." That was the only word that you said after that.

///

Three things were clear to you:

1) Going back to Mount Huaguo was the priority;

2) You needed to find some money since you were basically broke;

3) Need to keep the monkey away from every electrical device.

The first one was based more on a sense of morality. After all, you made a choice, and that was the choice to stay in that world full of magic because you fell in love with the destined one and a simple cane back home wasn't enough to move you. 

Not to mention that you have nothing that came back anymore, so...

The second, hard but not that much. You have nowhere to go, so you were forced to stay in a cheap and very not so sanitary motel that you both found. 

Luck were your side because that place needed someone that could clean or fix staff and you two? We're the masters at fixing staff...sorta.

But the third one...oooh boy...

///

You were drinking coffee, how much did you miss it, trying to schedule the next day of work for you and Yuán Fèn. You could clearly hear him doing something in the small kitchenette, moving staff, putting them somewhere, opening things, cutting them...

Then you heard the roar of that old blender that you both found around.

" DARLING?" You used your very sweet tone, a sign that you were expecting the worst for him. "What are you doing?!"

"Nothing."

"That doesn't sound like a -"

And there, in front of you, he putted a very strangely colored liquid, viscous, and with some strange objects floating here and there.

"What Is It?"

"A bunch of staff!"

"I know that; it's clearly a bunch of different staff."

"You should try it, then talk!"

"I genuinely want it five meters away from me."

"Suit yourself!" And then, in your horror, he proceeded to drink the staff. 

///

After days of adjusting and trying to get used back to the modern world, when you both got inside your shared room and found no one but Maitreya himself, you both got a huge shock. You don't know what was the most unrecognizable scene—the actual boy in the room or the fact that he was reading a comic book that talked about the Monkey King or the Yankees cap in his head.

And he just waved! Like nothing! 

He decided to give some explanation, but the most important was why you were sent there and how to. come back.

The first was more for the two of you. After your decision, you decided to leave your world behind, but you did know what that really meant? He wanted to know that and gave you a free way out, a small taste of your original world, and the thought that even this could sway you away from the destined one, and he received a slap on his head by you, and he admitted he deserved it. Another test of loyalty? They really believed you were so easy?!

Well, many were before you...

As for coming back, it was easy, of course! Did he not do it himself right now? 

When you and Yuán Fèn looked at each other, Happy Tò was able to finally come back to Mount Huaguo, but you were stopped by the kid.

"You have to finish your schedule this week! And, oh, won't it be better if you gave a notice?"

How the heck did he know these things?!

"Aaand," he continued, holding an old toaster, "explain to me this little miracle."

@sun-jglim @crimsonflameproxy

@everlastingmoonlightsworld @biankanoir

@miraclecherryblossomsblog @sleepingdramaqueen

@certifiedsimpinggalore @cromboloni

@masksandfeathers @cinnamonroll-anon

@justrandomlypassing @cute-angi

@luckyangelballoon @dressycobra7

@naarra @virtualexpertanchor

@phoenixeclipse-lmkau @szynkaaa

@kirax-the-lazy-girl. @sleepydang

@weaverworks @kishimiest

@marcu-bug @thepoweroffiction

@riolu4 @angryvampire

[bigfan-fanfic]

I'd Hammer in the Morning (Male!Reader x Thor)

Part One

"What do you mean, you're quitting?" Tony practically shouts.

"Hey, hey, I didn't say the Q-word."

"But you are."

"I... I'm going to be moving to Asgard, Tony. I can't be your personal assistant from a realm away."

Tony fidgets, swinging an arm in your direction. "A 'realm away?' Look how they've got you talking - you can say 'realm' with a straight face!"

"Please don't make this difficult." you try to get that stern but kind note in your voice that Frigga gets when managing Odin or Thor, but you don't quite get there.

"Fine, I won't. Recharge, I don't accept your resignation."

"Pretty sure it doesn't work that way."

"Don't care." Tony quips petulantly. When Pepper walks in, he immediately bursts out. "Recharge is quitting!"

Pepper smiles at you. "Yes, he is, and we're so excited for you. Congratulations, Y/N."

Tony's jaw drops.

"I know it's short notice, but Tony's going to host your goodbye party before you leave, if that's alright."

"I am?"

She silences him with a look. Oh, there it is.

"Fine, fine..."

And with that, after an all-too-wild party that Pepper does her best to manage, you're ready to leave Midgard as your primary residence.

Thor meets you atop the Avengers Tower, the burning runic circle etched into the helipad, little drones already trying to clear up the ash and cinders.

You run to his arms, excited to see him.

"Did you truly think I would not wish to witness every moment of your arrival to my home? Our home, now." Thor chuckles.

"No, I actually thought I was going to awkwardly have to call Heimdall."

You notice a few other Asgardians are here, glancing around interestedly. "Father is eager for your arrival. He assumed you'd have more... luggage. Insisted I bring porters."

You don't really have much more than a couple large suitcases and a few boxes to contain everything you own. Tony had insisted on digitizing all of your books and movies and games and ensuring you'd have communication and internet even on Asgard with a tiny prism he assured you had a copy of JARVIS on it for your use.

It's his way of showing he cares, because he can't go more than two sentences without snarking, by law, apparently.

"Wait... your father is eager for my arrival? I... I kinda thought Lord Odin wasn't too fond of Midgardians."

"No, he's not disdainful, simply... he worries about me. Our... lifespans."

You balk instinctively, the notion that Thor may long outlive you a little depressing. "Oh."

"But he seems to be much more open. So either he has a plan, or you have simply won him over as a mortal that can wield Mjolnir and learn my mother's seidr."

You do recall Odin becoming more warm to your presence, especially once you got over the hump of learning magic and started to transcend your electrokinesis. Frigga, of course, loves you. "A plan? To, like... deal with my lifespan?"

"Perhaps. Mother mentioned something about a coronation gift."

"Wow, all of this for your boyfriend? They're that eager to have me?"

"All of Asgard is eager. To be completely honest..." Thor chuckles, almost nervously. "I believe they expect a proposal soon."

"Oh." You chuckle a little, almost nervous as well. "And should they?"

"My prince... my king... you know this has been the greatest year of my life. I am more than eager to share all my days with you."

"Thor... I love you too."

"Then perhaps a proposal is not far off at all." He smirks. "Now, are you certain this is all your luggage?"

"Yes. Underwhelming, I know."

"Not at all. It simply means you will have plenty of room for the gifts I will shower you with."

You giggle. And then it hits you that you are truly leaving Earth. You frown softly, looking around as nostalgia crashes over you in waves.

"What ails you, my love?"

"Just... it's suddenly very hard to leave."

Thor takes you in his arms and kisses you. "I swear that as long as the Bifrost stands, I shall take you to Midgard whenever you wish."

You kiss him back. "You're sweet. But... it's just the change. It's always a big moment. But I'm not leaving home, not really. I'm coming home. To you. To Odin and Frigga. Even to Loki."

Thor grins. "Truly, you think of my misguided brother as your family?"

You nod. "Frigga and I have been taking lessons outside his cell lately as part of his rehabilitation."

His eyes shine with something surpassing gratitude and admiration.

"My king... allow me the honor of bringing you home."

And in a flash of rainbow and lightning, he does.

[noparadiseinthis]

Okay, I'm having a hard time writing lately, both because of lack of time and motivation. So, please help me decide what the next one-shot to be posted will be. Keep in mind that I plan to post all of them at some point, but I need something to focus on (and if this vote is a failure, I'll delete it and pretend it never existed, yes, sir). Thank you 🙃

Aaron Hotchner/fem!Reader - What's in a mother? | Angst | Hurt/Comfort

Navigate through your years with Aaron and how you developed your bond with Jack, until the fateful day when Aaron decided to throw something in your face: "You had no right, you're not his mother."

Spencer Reid/seductress!fem!Reader - Judgments that break us | Angst | Hurt/Comfort

You are Derek Morgan's best friend in Chicago and when you move to Virginia to do your PhD, he insists on taking you out drinking with his friends. The problem begins when Spencer finds himself unable to believe your flirtation and hurts you before you can hurt him.

Aaron Hotchner/younger!fem!Reader - Never good enough | Heavy Angst | Hurt/Comfort

You thought that being the one who shared a bed with your boss meant something more. You thought that when he said "I love you" in your ear, he meant it, but you weren't good enough for him to take on your relationship, or to meet Jack. You always excused him, but then he meets Beth, and suddenly, he's ready for all the things he didn't do with you. Why is she worthy and not you?

Derek Morgan/fem!Reader - And because I value you, I can't have you | Heavy angst | Hurt/Comfort | Carl Buford will be here

Coming to a new school in high school was difficult for you. Until you met the football player from the school team, Derek Morgan, but why did he keep you at such a distance? And why couldn't he stand being touched? Why did he always seem to be in pain? After seeing that pain in his eyes, you couldn't leave him alone.

[lemoniiiiiii]

SOME RANDOM THOUGHTS / HEADCANONS ABOUT MAX COOPERMAN

just realized that aside from jake, most of max's relationships with people were either superficial or transactional which he probably just thought was normal growing up as a rich kid who was a "loser" learning that ppl only liked him when he had something to give them.

of course, when he was younger everyone loved to go to his birthday parties b/c his parents were loaded and they always planned something extravagant to try and make up for the fact they were never really around but, as he got older his parents stopped really caring to put on those parties. after that, no one bothered to give max any attention or befriend him unless they saw his wealth as something useful, or just brought him around so he could be the butt of the joke. and the second they got what they wanted from him they discarded him. being the kind-hearted and naive boy he is, he doesn't really fully grasp it until after ryan beats him to a pulp. he brushes off what happens but it honestly profoundly affects him from then on.

he thought ryan was a friend but turns out he was just being taken advantage of, his parents didn't care to come see him in the hospital despite how serious his condition was, and jake, the only genuine friend he ever had, ends up leaving (prolly bc college) and max later refers to him in passing as "a guy i brought up back in the day" which hints that they likely don't talk anymore.

so college starts. a fresh slate. max guards himself with this macho (with a very small hint of being an asshole) persona. he's got a leadership position as the RA of his floor, got two nerdy "friends" that are very reminiscent of ryan and his guys (remember when they snicker along with him at mike?), and a semi-famous reputation online. he loses weight the summer before college and decides to stop fighting (probably caused by the trauma from ryan) but we see he uses hand grips so even he definitely wants to keep himself strong for his physique and to protect himself. though max is still fairly lean which is likely an insecurity for him. the last thing he ever wants to be seen as is a dork.

let's not even talk about how being conditioned like this affects his views on women and relationships. first off in highschool he only gets attention from baja's friends b/c of his association with jake, then in college he gets all this attention because he's "attractive" now and has this cool car, dorm and fame due to the fighting videos + promotions. he's (mostly) only ever made out with drunk women at parties or events that just throw themselves at him but it never goes further than that.

he likely has made himself believe that he should think of women as prizes (again as awful as ryan was max kind of molds his new self with his influences subconsciously. he had the kind of attention, the girls, the intimidation factor max aspires to have), but if a girl were to ever genuinely like him it would fry his brain. he wouldn't understand the idea of someone wanting to spend time with him, even if he wasn't really doing anything. to intently listen to him and partake in his interests. or how much happier you'd look after just going on a walk around campus with him vs. when he bought you jewelry or flowers.

it left him with a feeling he only experienced once before when jake saved him, and went after ryan.

it just clicks for him like-

oh. this is how it feels to be genuinely cared for.

it's not soon after he realizes that you tell him you love him for the first time, while cuddling in bed (he's sure his mother used to say it to him when he was younger but he honestly can't really remember anymore-- the most communication he has with his parents now is the deposits into his bank account).

once the door closes, and you've left for your classes.. he feels the lingering heat of your lips, your words echoing in his head and the way you looked at him...

and he cries.

[thatrandomidiot182]

Fret not my friends, for this is only the end of the 'Canon' timeline! I have two alternate endings in the drafts along with the side chapters, so although the main series is over until Season 3 of HOTD comes out, I still have lots of stuff planned for Velaryon! Reader in the future! Hopefully you guys stick around to see.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

VELARYON! READER FINALE (For now...)

Aemond, having been left to his devices in Kings Landing, decided to take it upon himself to help Reader as best he could.

Thus, he reaches out to the Blackwoods with an offer...

Reader, in the meantime, has taken a minor detour from her march. Instructing (Threatening) Jason Lannister to continue his conquest, "With haste." As she pays a visit to 'an old friend.'

Back at the Red Keep, Helaena continues her training, now with more fervor, and can often be spotted astride Dreamfyre amongst the clouds day in and day out.

Alicent, defeated and weary, now grows suspicious of her sons prolonged slumber. The maesters claim that he is in decent enough health, and their confusion only validates her suspicion.

As she is busy frolicking in the Kingswood, one of Readers' most trusted maids rushes her husband before Aemond with very important news.

After the discussion, Aemond hastily writes to Readers host, and the morning he does, Silverwing is chased back to Dragonstone by Vhagar, with Dreamfyre hesitantly trailing behind as they meet Rhaenyras newfound 'allies' in confidence, before turning back to Kings Landing.

On Dragonstone, Hugh speaks with Ulf after their conversation with Prince Jacaerys.

Rhaenyra mulls over the decision to strike against Aemond, but Corlys is hesitant due to Dreamfyres' appearance the day before.

Back at the Red Keep,

Aemond utilizes Readers' incoming fleet and writes to them, instructing them to catch as much fish as they possibly could before docking, as the new restrictions on the harbor are bound to cause issues with the smallfolk.

Helaena and Alicent discuss their emergency escape, with Helaena withholding her true plans at Reader's behest.

Aemond reaches out, inquiring Helaenas aid, but the Queen is hesitant, and Alicents objections don't help.

In the end, Helaena agrees to fight under the condition that she is the last line of defense and that Jaehaera and Alicent would flee while she flies. She writes to Reader that same night, inquiring how this would affect their existing escape plan.

Meanwhile, Alicent has her own plans...

Jacaerys, on the other hand, is going through an existential crisis. The whole 'army of bastards' situation has made him rethink the entire conflict with Reader about Aemond.

His whole life, he's lived under scrutiny, scorn and mockery. Him, Luke and Joffery were constantly being questioned and made fun of, by the entire Red Keep, however Jace could never understand why his uncles hated them so much.

Helaena was perfectly pleasant, his grandparents were all kind and accepted them as heirs, so why couldn't Alicent and her sons do the same? Did the color of his hair really make that much of a difference? Regardless of who his father was, he was still of royal lineage, born from a womb of pure fire and blood itself. There was no reason for them to be so cruel!

He's lived with the pain and anger of not being accepted his entire life, and he truly believed that his dragon was all that was needed to prove anyone wrong.

After all, only a true Targaryen could tame a God... right?

Now he's rethinking everything.

He finally understands his uncles.

He now knows how Aemond felt about him and Luke, how Aegon felt being compared to himself all the time.

It was infuriating.

Despicable.

Shameful.

It was everything they all said he was.

Now, Jace finds it hard to keep his faith in his mother. Not only is she tarnishing the family name but also placing them all in danger.

He finds himself full of regret, wanting nothing more than to be able to apologize to Aemond and Reader and rekindle a bond he didn't even know was there.

He also now has to find a way to snuff out the newfound self-hatred brewing inside his heart... (imposter syndrome..)

Back in Kings Landing, Aemond and Helaena bond, as Aemond works to persuade her into taking a more offensive role in the war. Helaena obviously disagrees but is more inclined to entertain the thought than she would normally be. After all, she still has a husband and child she wants to keep safe.

Besides, she has been training quite a bit, not to mention Dreamfyre is one of the top five most capable dragons alive... and it's not like Aemond is asking her to fly out and face Daemon or Rhaenyra head on, no. Only that she aid Vhagar should Rhaenyra attempt to sack Kings Landing.

Alicent attempts to bargain with Rhaenyra, urging her to strike while Reader and her dragon are away.

She encourages Rhaenyra to take Aemond and Vhagar down whilst she and Helaena prepare the keep for her before their departure.

Rhaenyra insists that Aegon be dealt with regardless, and ultimately, Alicent agrees.

Pieces are finally falling into place...

Reader meets with her mother for the first time after the coronation, accompanied by Rhaenyras three sons, obtained from the ships her fleet seized, in order to strike a deal.

Tyland and his newly acquired ships meet with Readers fleet as they begin to head towards the blockade after delivering the fish to Kings Landing.

Alicent heads back to the Red Keep to find Helaena, as the dreamer herself is in the midst of training with Aemond and Vhagar.

Jason Lannister receives word of a newly acquired ally in the Riverlands as he makes camp at the Frey Bridge.

Rhaenyra finally prepares to strike.

Daeron and the Hightower army meet with Cole and Gwayne and begin marching on the Riverlands.

The Red Keep is in a panic, after shouts begin to echo throughout the halls come the hour of the wolf...

"THE KING IS GONE!!"

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

I'm so sorry that this is so much shorter compared to the rest, I tried to cover 3 episodes in each part but there was only 2 left for this one. As a small apology for the lacking word count, I wrote out the letter Aemond wrote to reader and attached it here for your enjoyment!!

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

My heart,

I hope you are well. Unfortunately, I do not write with leisure.

Rhaenyra seeks to raise an army of bastards.

She has sent her handmaiden to fetch any silver-haired persons occupying the streets of Kings Landing.

However, as usual, your kindness reaps rewards. It appears one of your new maids' husband is a Targaryen bastard himself.

Fear not, for this 'Hugh Hammer' and I have come to a very generous agreement. He has bent the knee, and sails to Dragonstone as I write, leaving behind his wife and daughter in our care.

I understand this rather rash decision has a small chance of becoming troublesome in the future, however I believe his success would prove beneficial for us in the long run, and should he perish in his attempt, nothing more will be lost to us.

It appears that you yourself have aided many of these bastards as well, and I pray that the gods grant us their favor once more by placing one of them atop a dragon, if it must be any of them at all.

Of course, the best possible outcome is that none of them are claimed, but the fates have funny ways of showing their humor...

Yours always,

Aemond

[ediblecucumber]

Platonic Yandere Omega Dad x Abandoned child Reader pt2

You don't know where it all went wrong, one day everything was fine and the next your omega dad didn't want to be a family with you and your alpha daddy anymore

What should have been another normal day was filled with screams and pleas, you've never seen your parents fighting, much less heard them scream like that

Your alpha daddy was crying and your omega dad was saying sharp words as he picked up a suitcase and got ready to walk out the door, before leaving your life he looked at you one last time, his eyes were so cold

After that whole day was a mess, your alpha dad was trying to balance his work schedules to be able to pick you up and take you to school and now he also had to cook and clean the house, all the calls and surprise visits from the child protection center had a very apparent effect on him as his healthy and shiny appearance was replaced by a tired and unbalanced

The worst part of all was the days in court, watching your omega father fight to keep the family dog ​​while making it very clear to the court that he was not interested in having joint custody of you hurt you deeply. Were you less important than a dog? Hearing him tell the judge that he never wanted to be a mother and that he was never interested in playing that role in your life tore your little soul to pieces Were all those happy days when he said "I love you" to you lies?

With a father who was barely holding himself together in front of you and another who seemed to have simply disappeared into the world, there was no stability in your life. You were clinging to the hope that everything would be okay until you heard the news

"Honey, your omega father won't be able to come to your birthday because... because... because he adopted two little girls and they don't feel comfortable coming to your party, I'm sorry, I wanted... are you okay?"

No, you weren't okay, in court he had I had said that I wasn't ready to be a mother but it seems that that was a lie, or rather, he wasn't ready to be your mother, that was the first crack

After that day the excuses didn't stop, there was always an excuse for his absence

"Sorry but I can't go today, my oldest has a cheerleading practice and I need to take her, take her and then go pick you up only to have to go back to pick you up would be a waste of time, you understand right? Of course you understand you're a big kid"

"Sorry I couldn't go to your 7th birthday, and my youngest girl had a rough day so we went out with her to the spa to have a relaxing day, I ended up running late but don't worry I'll send you something"

"Was today the day of your competition? Sorry, I forgot because I was too busy planning the twins' birthday party, you weren't upset, right? Don't worry, next time I'll definitely be there HE'S LYING"

"I can't go today, one of the girls started her first heat today and I can't leave her alone, these are omega things you wouldn't understand"

With each excuse your insecurity and anger grew, every time he mentioned the twins your self-esteem decreased and you started comparing yourself more and more to them, if you were an omega would he love you as much as he loves them? Could it be that the problem is you?

Years of accumulating resentment came to a head on your 13th birthday, that was supposed to be a special day and being the loving and caring father that he is, your alpha father spared no expense to make each of your birthdays more memorable than the last

In truth, he is trying to console you through material goods, he does not have much free time because he needs to work more to pay the alimony that the court determined he must pay to his omega ex-husband, the alpha father can even work less but that would mean lowering your standard of living something he would never forgive himself for doing, you deserve the best so if he had to work more to pay for all the things that you would be a little happier then he is willing to face nights of exhaustion and overload

Unexpectedly the night before your omega father answered the phone call and agreed to spend the morning with you, your alpha father tried to call him every day to make sure that your omega father would go for a walk with you or at least answer your questions messages, despite your best efforts the omega ex husband always ended up ignoring you and this broke the alpha father's heart because nothing hurts a father's heart more than seeing his son hurt

So that morning you put on your best clothes, fixed your hair and waited for your omega father he was an hour late but that's okay, the traffic must have been bad right? RIGHT!?

When he arrived you were almost bursting with happiness, saying goodbye to your alpha father you eagerly got into your omega father's car, you couldn't wait to find out what he had planned for you

After a few minutes with only you talking to fill the silence you both arrive at the mall, a little disappointed but it's okay, the place isn't as important as the company, you eagerly follow him like a puppy while he does some shopping maybe one of the purchases is your birthday present!?, you're a little hungry but you can ignore it so everything is fine until you hear those two voices

"Daddyeeee" waving his arms one of the twins is screaming while the other is laughing, immediately your omega father seems to forget about you and goes towards them

The way he hugs and kisses them is very different from the way he treats you, he was only away from them for a few hours but he's saying how much he missed them but with you... with you he spends months yarn without seeing you and never gave you a hug like that this was the second crack

"Daddy thanks for buying these gifts for us, you bought all the items on the list!? You didn't have to" oh so the shopping was for them... he spent the whole morning of your birthday buying gifts for them this was the third crack

"Of course you did, we're celebrating that you're now officially part of the cheerleading team, I'm glad practice ended in time for us to meet up to celebrate" so in fact the intruder was you, he's not here to celebrate your birth he's here to celebrate their victory, he only met up with you because he had free time while waiting for them

You saw the three of them laughing and moving away from you, slowly they got further away each moment until you entered a restaurant that you were eager to try with your omega father, you wondered if they would notice that you stayed behind, if they would notice that you weren't at the table

NO, they didn't notice, the dishes were ordered and you watched them eat in a happy and laughing mood, today is your birthday and he simply forgot about you, this was the fourth and final crack

Stunned, somehow while you called your alpha father you felt dazed, it was like one moment you were full of feelings and the next you were completely empty of them

Your alpha father arrived quickly, you almost didn't notice him realizing he arrived only because he hugged you and took you out of the catatonic position you were sitting in on the street in front of the mall

The way home was silent, despite the alpha father's best efforts to try to make you smile you remained silent, expressionless until you got home and as soon as you walked through the door the dam collapsed

SCREAMS AND TEARS, you were having a fit on the floor, your chest was tight and you couldn't BREATHE BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T COULD YOU BREATHE?!?! EVERYTHING WAS TOO MUCH, THE FEELINGS WERE TOO MUCH

You had a PANIC ATTACK and had to be hospitalized, your party was canceled HATE, HATE, HATE is what he feels for his ex-husband, how DARE he do this to YOU!!! HOW DARE HE HURT THE MOST PRECIOUS THING OF THE ALPHA FATHER!? If he could, he would KILL that man. Your alpha father had to miss work to spend the entire hospital stay with you.

You were eventually released and received a recommendation for a child psychologist who specialized in dealing with children who suffer from parental abandonment. Your alpha father was already doing the math to see how many sleepless nights full of work would be necessary to pay for the hospital, the medicine, and the psychologist.

You didn't know what your life would be like from that moment on, but you were sure of one thing, something in you broke and could never be fixed. A heart could only be broken a certain amount of times until the pieces were too small and uneven to be glued back together.

Unbeknownst to you, in five years' time, you would be forced to confront your omega father.

[ugly-anarchist]

It's always weird to see the overwhelming amount of autistic people who were diagnosed later in life and actually found joy and relief in their diagnosis.

I often get told that I'm "lucky" that I was diagnosed as a child and like... no. I'm not.

Late diagnosed autistics have their own struggles and they don't have it easier than me, I'd never say that, but I didn't have it easier either.

The memories that I have left of my childhood are forever altered and ruined by me being diagnosed as autistic. Me being diagnosed was nothing but negative. It didn't help me, it didn't make me feel better, and it didn't give me any kind of relief.

The process of getting a diagnosis alone was extremely traumatic. Immediately after my father passed away, when all of my symptoms were at their worst, I was forced to go to doctor's appointments and evaluations. I was put through tests that were specifically designed to stress me out and upset me to emphasize my autistic traits. And it didn't matter how much I hated it, how much I screamed and cried for it to stop, because it was never actually about helping.

At an extremely vulnerable age I was placed in the path of predatory doctors and psychiatrists that wanted nothing more than to make me "manageable", my own mental health be damned. They lied to my mother about what was best for me and caused years of abusive treatment from her. Years of "corrective" therapy to train me to be normal and hide my autism. It didn't teach me coping mechanisms, it told me how to "power through" and that I just had to put up with doing things I didn't like.

Today I see autistic people discovering themselves and being offered tools to make their lives easier and solutions to their discomfort. To this day, I have no idea how to cope with overstimulation. Hell, for the longest time "overstimulation" was a huge trigger word for me because my mother would use it against me. Any time I was angry or frustrated she'd dismiss it by saying I was "just overwhelmed" and she'd take me being actually overwhelmed as a personal failing or malicious on my part.

And you wanna know the best part? I was never told why I was being forced to do it. I wasn't told I was autistic until years later. All I knew is that there was something wrong with me and the adults around me wanted it gone. When I was told that I was autistic, it was with the same tone you'd tell someone they had a terminal illness. It is far too normalized to put children through this kind of thing and never tell them why. No one ever sat me down and explained it to me. No one discussed a treatment plan with me. No one asked me how the medication I was forced to take made me feel.

All autistic people struggle, but in different ways. Don't ever tell an autistic person that they were "lucky" or "privileged" for being diagnosed early in life just because you had a positive experience with diagnosis. My choice and autonomy was taken from me and I still haven't recovered from it. The assumption that what I went through was positive in any way makes me furious.

[dazais-guardian-angel]

With today's entry, I was rather surprised and confused that Johnathan seemed to turn around so quickly from the absolute pit of despair he was in yesterday, having newfound determination and energy when he's seemingly been completely hopeless and inactive for weeks now (and for good reason). Not that I ever thought he'd completely given up, but there's definitely been a slow decline in how descriptive his journal entries have been to reflect his declining mental state (more robotic, less of his actual feelings about things), and today was a sharp contrast; it feels more like the early entries again. I thought, well, his mind is probably just so cracked at this point that he's looped all the way back around to being bold and energetic again, because by now he's desperate enough to throw caution to the wind: he either succeeds doing something extremely reckless to escape, or he fails and meets his end in a far better way than if he just waits for his fate by Dracula's hands.

...But having thought about it and reading other posts, I realized (probably stupidly obvious as it is) that his sudden change in mood probably has to do with what happened to the baby. Despite how scared he's been all this time, yesterday he didn't hesitate for a single second to try to save the baby once he realized from the previous incident what was happening, not thinking about his own life at all. And then he despaired when he couldn't save the child, the first time he's mentioned crying in the book at all, and then he had to witness the mother blaming him for her baby's death, and being killed herself for trying to rescue it. Now, the day after that horrific and heartbreaking failure, he's suddenly more determined than he's been in ages to escape. Maybe that was a turning point for Johnathan, and lit a fire under him... maybe he's clinging to the need to escape not just for himself and the people he loves anymore, but for the vain hope that he can put a stop to Dracula's schemes somehow once he gets out, because he doesn't want to let any more children die :' )

[druidberries]

baby #3 is on the way !!!

previous // next

the game didn't give me a popup or anything 😭 I clicked on her and saw this moodlet and THATS how i found out smh

[thepettymachine]

Ashley got her high school diploma and while there, got to meet her birth mother Evie.

[charlottedabookworm]

Ser Criston: *mockingly* not very Strong of you, is it, Jacaerys?

Aegon: ...yes, Ser Cole. the boy half my age loses against me in a sparring match and his strength is the issue. come, Jace, you need to work on your footwork

---- Otto: you shouldn’t be lowering yourself to associating with their kind, Aegon.

Aegon: ...because it’s lowering myself to spend time with my nephews who are SECOND and THIRD IN LINE TO THE THRONE. yes. of course.

----

Aemond: such Strong boys-

Aegon: *sighing* I know you want more sparring partners, Aemond, but Jace and Luke are both younger than you. give them time, valonqar

----

Alicent: *beneath her breath* how can no one see that they’re bastards

Aegon: ...didn’t Ser Cole beat a man to death at my sister’s wedding to Ser Laenor?

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

"i mess up things and then i don't have the energy to fix them up" yes brain true sentence but no brain the appropriate response is NOT "therefore i should kill myself (and here's how)"