#i didn't know what else to make my first post

[legalandnotease]

OK, you got me started.

Maybe you didn't know that. Maybe you honestly had no idea that you were saying something that is a direct attack against people who have gone through the exact mental illnesses Tony had and recognize his struggles as their own.

I have PTSD and depression and let me tell you something straight from the start.

Tony Stark does not represent me or anybody like me. Lose this ridiculous idea that Tony Stark has PTSD. He doesn't. He displays zero symptoms of PTSD.

He has anxiety at best, and is probably a narcissist. Yes, his actions and behaviour are very consistent with Covert Narcissism.

His "fear of loss" is the fear of abandonment, of no longer being able to control those around him.

His "my way or the highway" mentality, his inability to listen to or trust others, his paranoia and inability to accept responsibility.

All are massively consistent with narcissism.

...and before the Tony fans shriek, guess what the main cause of narcissism is? Childhood neglect. QUELLE SURPRISE! That said... His daddy being nasty to him does not absolve him being outright abusive to others. That is the excuse real life abusers use btw.

Whatever he has though: let us stop right now blaming mental health for Tony Stark's shitty actions. The idea that "trauma" absolves him is a harmful and dangerous idea which perpetuates negative stereotypes about mental health.

The sheer amount destructive and harmful things Tony does which cause mass death is what prevents him from being "representation" for mental health.

If Tony was anybody else... nobody would be saying he should not take responsibility for things which actively hurt and killed others because *muh trauma*.

Name a time when Tony was in a safe place to heal. I'll wait.

Every time he retired. He retires MULTIPLE times in between moves. Between Iron Man II and Avengers?

2 years.

Between Avengers and Age of Ultron

3 years.

Between AoU and Civil War

1 year

Between CW and IW

2 years

Between CW and Endgame

5 years.

That is a total of 13 years. Tony had 13 years of relative peace and quiet in which to get some self care and healing.

Compare that to Bucky who is confirmed as having PTSD and gets the sum total of 2 years to recover from 70 years of torture abuse, brain damage, trauma guilt and self-hatred. With NO support network. Unlike Tony, who had various people to support him. And Bucky has to contend with a fuckton of victim-blaming that Tony never did.

You literally just ignored the first part of OP's post, in which they noted that people constantly ignore Wanda's and Bruce's parts in Ultron.

These are excuses designed to absolve Tony of his responsibility for Ultron. Wanda did not mind control him: she gave him a vision.A vision he did not have to act opon. He chose to.

Tony was acting of his own free will and with his own agency the entire time. So was Bruce. This is why people blame Tony.

Unlike say,,,, hmmm I dunno Bucky who was literally mind controlled and had the very capacity for free choice and agency taken away from him, who was literally forced and tortured into doing things.... Tony was making a choice

(But isn't it WEIRD how people- usually Tony Fans) still insist on blaming an actual mind control and torture victim for his actions on the ground that "his body did it" - whilst trying to absolve the guy who was not mind controlled and had full bodily autonomy because "muh good intentions" and "muh trauma"

Yes, that's called victim-blaming.

You ignored how OP pointed out that the illegal arms dealing was Stane's actions, not Tony's, and that Tony shut it down as soon as he learned of it, saying "there are lines we don't cross.

Except... that's not what happened. Tony ran the company for 17 years as an adult. In all that time you're telling me he didn't notice his own stock going missing? He didn't notice the protests against his weapons being used on civilians in places like Sokovia?

The fact that it was only when he realized they were being used on *American soldiers* that he considered the line to have been crossed speaks volumes about Tony.

If he took drugs that were stopping him from doing his job as a CEO that is on him, not anybody else. Just like if somebody took drugs and decided to drive a car, you would not blame the car or the drugs.

Would Wanda not have attacked Tony's mind, then?

Since Tony was alreasdy planning to build Ultron even before he met Wanda, this bascailly makes no difference, but carry on.

Would Nick Fury and Black Widow have suddenly left him alone? Would he not have been dying from palladium poisoning?

How are Nick Fury and Natasha responsible for the stupid and reckless things Tony did when he thought he was dying. Did they make him do them? No. Thought not.

Would he have been able to suddenly change the route his company was taking without his friends turning their backs on him (which they did at first) and Stane trying to kill him?

Actually, yes. He's was the CEO, for goodness sake. He was also a grown-ass 38-year-old man, not a little kid.

You know he could in that capacity just fire Stane right? Right? As soon as he had evidence for his activities he could fire him on the spot? That's what CEOs can do? He could fire the whole Board of Directors if he wanted to.

But even if! Even if he went to therapy! Do you think therapy is a magical cure-all? Do you think people who go to therapy for PTSD suddenly don't have panic attacks anymore? That they don't get triggered, or fall back into their personal hells, or have days where they regress to who they'd been before therapy because healing isn't a straight line?

OK. Let;s talk about PTSD triggers.

People who are triggered may go into "fight or flight" mode. They may freeze. They may lash out. They may start having flashbacks. They may become depressed. They may become withdrawn.

What they do not do is take a highly dangerous object and use it to build abother hightly dangerous object despite warnings that it might be dangerous.

What they do not do is attack helpless unarmed people for 10 minutes with multiple weapons, pinning them against walls and attempting to blow their heads off.

What they do not do is ignore clear evidence for **years** of theft in their company, and ignore evidece their stock is falling into the wrong hands.

Nothing *repeat* NOTHING Tony does in the movies can be put down to him just being triggered. Blaming PTSD for Tony's violent and deliberately reckless actions is vile.

Honestly, shame on you for talking about therapy as if it's the cure-all for the world, as if every single problem life throws at people becomes butterflies and rainbows the instant a person talks to a professional about it all. As if Tony was The Main Problem of the MCU, and his capital sin was in not booking an appointment with a psychologist.

No, SHAME ON YOU.

People already think mental illness is an excuse for bad behaviour and Tony Stans are making this far worse with using conditions like mine as an excuse for everything Tony does.

Whether it be sexually harassing women

Building a murderbot

grooming and blackmailing a teenager,

or trying to murder an abuse victim in cold blood because he was upset about his disgusting daddy being killed.

How many people here, in real life, have mocked and derided Tony Stark as a character because he's a cis straight rich white man?

Let me tell you this right now.

Nobody would make excuses for Tony's actions the way they do if he was not a rich white male.

Just like in real life Tony can get away with things that anybody else would be thrown in jail for because he has money and connections.

Do you really think that poor people can get away with murder like Tony on the ground of abuse or trauma? No. They can't. They also can't get support or therapy. THEY will be persecuted and prosecuted, even for things they were driven to by desperation.

I am going to compare him to Bucky Barnes, fandom's favourite punchbag again because it illustrates this well.

One is working- class from a poor immigrant background who never had the power to say "no" or refuse to do what the high-ups told him. He was conscripted into into the army: if he refused to join up he'd have been imprisoned or worse.

He gets captured, experimented on, tortured, mutilated it, has his "brain put into a blender" and is forced to kill against his will?

What is the reaction? "He's still to blame. He chose to join up, he chose to go on that mission.... he could have escaped, he could have said no...."

Or "his body did it" as is the favourite excuse of Tony fans who want to entirely ignore the fact he had no control, autonomy or choice.

The other is a rich, priveleged guy with inherited money who had the best of everything. He is fully able to tell the government to go screw themselves, to refuse to do what he is told, and to buy his way out of any trouble he might get into.

He *chooses* to to drug himself into oblivion and drink himself silly when there are other options available. He chooses to do reckless things. He chooses to ignore the problems in his company. He chooses to go along with it because alternative is too hard.

He chooses to break multiple laws because his girlfriend is kidnapped. He chooses to mess with a highly dangerous supernatural artefact because he fears loss. He chooses to ignore advice, and people die. Over and over and over again because of his reckless actions and bad choices.

The reaction? "Its not his fault, he was manipulated" "its not his fault, he meant well!" "its not his fault, he's just trying to protect the people he loved"/

Its not about shaming: it is just a simple fact that rich white people can and do get away with the most henious things imaginable because of who they are. If Tony was poor like Bucky or black or Asian he would not be able to.

everyone always focuses on Sokovia and Ultron and Tony's involvement but no one ever thinks about how Bruce was also involved completely because they're both scientists. no one thinks about Wanda purposefully going in and digging in Tony's head, amplifying his PTSD and putting visions of all his friends dead in his head with the intent of making Tony create Ultron

Everyone always focuses on blaming Tony for the bomb that killed Wanda's parents but no one thinks about Tony being so shit faced he couldn't see straight at that time bec he was so deep in self-medicating his trauma that he could not even run his company and that it was Obidiah Stane that was the one in charge of the company and illegally selling the weapons that killed her parents

Everyone focuses on Tony selling weapons in the first movie but no one thinks about how it was Howard Starks company and that Tony was groomed from birth to run it and that he had tried multiple times to make something else of the company but was constantly shut down with guilt tripping until he was kidnapped and he forced the manufacturing to end

Everyone focuses on Tony being "conceited" and "arrogant" and not "caring about anyone but himself" but no one thinks about how every single action he makes in his movies are about protecting the people he loves and cares for. His biggest fear is his friends- not himself- dying. he goes into every battle he's in fully prepared to die and does make the sacrifice play many many times

everyone always focuses on what Tony did wrong, but no one thinks about how much he has grown and how he spends every single waking moment trying to be a better and better man who cares so deeply about everyone and is trying to protect everyone the only way he knows how- and that is with the brain and intellect that had been the only thing about Tony that was ever praised about

[bibibahngg]

【ｕｎｅｘｐｅｃｔｅｄｌｙ　ｙｏｕｒｓ】

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚pairing: han jisung x reader ⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖summary: falling in love with your roommate jisung is chaotic in the best way. ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚warnings/genre: fluff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's basically it. like there's a cat? idk? ⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖notes: i haven't posted my writing in a loooooong time, but i think i've improved a lot over that time ngl!! anw, english isn't my first language, so there might be grammar issues and such. enjoyyyy ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

living with han jisung was like starring in your very own sitcom. it was chaotic, unpredictable, and occasionally hazardous to your health. like the time he tried to make pancakes.

"yn! breakfast is almost ready!" jisung called from the kitchen.

the phrase alone was enough to set off alarm bells. you hurried out of your room to investigate, and sure enough, smoke was already curling out of the kitchen doorway.

"ji, what did you do?" you demanded, rushing in to find him frantically fanning a smoking frying pan with a dish towel.

"it's fine! everything's under control!" he insisted, though the blackened.. um.. something... that was in the pan was saying something else. "why does it smell like you set a campfire in here?" "its artistic, okay? slightly charred is a valid flavor profile"

you snatched the pan from him and dumped the remains into the trash. "artistic my ass.. hannie, you literally almost set off the smoke alarm! what did i say about unsupervised cooking?"

he pouted, rubbing the back of his neck. "i just wanted to make breakfast for you, y'know? as a surprise.."

your annoyance softened a little. "that’s sweet" you admitted. "but maybe next time, let’s stick to cereal."

"or", he said, brightening, "you could cook and i could supervise!"

"you supervise? the guy who just tried to set the kitchen on fire?" "exactly! teamwork makes the dream work, right??"

you rolled your eyes affectionately, shoving a bowl of cereal into his hands. "here. eat this before you burn the whole building down"

"fine.. but i’m still your favorite roommate, right?"

"you're literally my only roommate, hanji.." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it was pouring rain when you returned from your grocery run, your arms full of bags and your raincoat looked.. rather suspicious. jisung, lounging on the couch, perked up as soon as you walked in.

"uhh yn, what’s in your coat..?" "..groceries?" "nuh-uh. groceries don’t move." "it's.. a new kind of.. pasta..?"

"c'mon, what’s in there??", he reached for the zipper, but you backed away, clutching your coat protectively.

but just then, a tiny, muffled meow escaped from your coat. both of you froze. "...", jisung was pointing at you like you'd just confessed to a crime. "is there a cat in your coat?"

you sighed and unzipped your coat to reveal a soaking wet, shivering black kitten curled up inside. "i mean come on! couldn't just leave her, she was in a box by the road, and it was raining so hard! look at her, she's so small!"

jisung stared at the kitten for a long moment before it let out another tiny meow. "so… can we keep her? please?" you spoke again.

he groaned. "yn you know i'm a dog guy! what am i supposed to do with a cat?"

the kitten blinked up at him with its big, round eyes, and his resolve melted immediately. "..fine", he muttered. "but i'm naming her bean."

"bean?"

"yeah" he said smugly. "because she's black, like a coffee bean. and also because she's cute, like me." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it didn't take long for bean to integrate herself into your chaotic little household. she adored climbing onto jisung's lap while he was gaming, batting at his controller until he lost matches.

one night, you came home to find jisung lying on the couch, wearing an expression of pure betrayal. bean was perched on his chest, staring him down with judgment. a lot of judgement.

"what happened..?" you asked, setting your bag down.

"she ate my last slice of pizza" he said mournfully.

you snorted. "you left it on the coffee table. that's, like, basically an invitation."

"she’s a menace", he grumbled. still, he smiled softly when he looked back at bean. "she’s just like you."

"...excuse me?" "black cat energy." "what?" "y'know?? you're all aloof and sarcastic, but deep down, you care. you just don’t show it much." were you in a romcom?

your cheeks warmed. "whatever, hannie..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it was just some thursday evening when everything changed. you were in the kitchen, stirring a pot of soup, while jisung leaned on the counter, watching you.

"you're unusually quiet", you said without looking up.

"hm? 's nothing." his voice was soft, almost hesitant.

you glanced over your shoulder, only to find him staring at you with an expression you couldn't quite place.

"you're acting weird lately."

he chuckled nervously. "i just-" he hesitated, running a hand through his hair. "i think i'm in love with you."

the spoon in your hand froze mid-stir. "...what?"

"i'm serious", he continued. "you're… everything. you're funny and caring, even when you try not to be. you brought home a cat, for crying out loud, because you couldn't stand to see it suffer in the rain. you cook me dinner when i'm too lazy to fend for myself, and you make this place feel like home."

your heart thudded painfully in your chest as you turned to face him fully. "jisung-"

"i know it’s a lot", he said quickly. "and i'll get it if you don't feel the same. but i couldn't keep it in anymore."

for a long moment, the room was silent except for the simmering stew. then, slowly, a smile crept across your face. "you’re an idiot", you said, your voice shaking slightly.

"...wh-"

"i love you too", you admitted. you could feel your cheeks burning up. now, when i tell you his face lit up like a fucking christmas tree, i mean it. "wait, really?!" "..shut up and set the table before the food gets cold."

he beamed, practically skipping off to grab plates, while bean watched from her perch on the counter, tail flicking smugly.

you could swear she was planning her next bit of chaos. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ a/n: im actually happy abt this one so like?? yay??????? anws han jisung is bias wrecking me so hard so here you go also late late late LATE happy new years i hope you guys have a great year to come bye bye!!!!!!!!

[damnfeelings09]

Animals AU - Shadow's version

A.N: Hello! Chapter 1 is finally here and I'm really proud of it. I decided to use the inspo from the video I posted days ago and this is what I got. I'm planning around 10 chapters for this one. Also RED PARTS ARE STALKER THOUGHTS, and GREEN ARE YOURS. With that I'm out and don't forget to lock your windows at night, he might be watching.

NFSW: blood, stalking, fear, weapons, fighting, bad lenguage, smut. +18

“Baby I'm preying on you tonight

Hunt you down eat you alive

Just like animals…”

“So... you got a boyfriend?” said the voice on the other side of the phone. You had no idea who you were talking to. Stupid? Probably. Exciting? Hell yes!

“Why? You wanna ask me out on a date?”  you asked in the most captivating tone possible.

“Maybe…” he said, a smug, seductive smile forming on his face. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No.”

“You never told me your name.”

“Why you wanna know my name?” you laughed. This conversation had been the most interesting part of your week. You had no idea who you were talking to; it was a stranger. An unknown number, written on the front page of the psychiatry book you had checked out from the library, along with a note that said, "Call here to have fun." Too tempting not to try. You were in your last year, your grades were perfect, and you had been accepted for an internship at the GUN Hospital next year. Everything was going grat, a little fun couldn’t hurt, right? Mailo had tried to convince you that it was a bad idea to call, but in the end, your curiosity won over your good judgment. The first time the call came in, you hung up after a second. Scared, your heart racing, before you could do anything else, the incoming call screen appeared. Soon, you found yourself trapped in his deep voice. Damn, anyone with that voice had to be fucking hot, and if not, you could always close your eyes and listen to his voice until you came.

“I wanna know who am I looking at” You froze, cold sweat dripping down your neck. Quickly getting up from the bed, you looked out the window. Outside, darkness reigned, only the trees and the other side of the sidewalk were barely visible. It was impossible, but when your skin tingled, you knew it was real—there was someone out there. He was out there, watching you. You heard laughter coming from the phone and immediately hung up. With your heart racing, you ran through the house, making sure all the doors and windows were shut, all alarms and lights on. Going back to your room, you locked yourself in the bathroom. This would be a long night.

The alarm woke you up, sore and with a swollen face from the bad night, you got ready for the day. You hated Mondays, but this Monday, in particular, was terrible. You hadn’t slept at all and had hidden like a coward in your bathtub. You had allowed the psycho phone man to gain power over you, and even more, secretly, you’d enjoyed it.

“Someone didn't have a good night,” said Mailo as you both were walking down the main hallway.

“I slept in the tub” you mentioned as you craned your neck to the side trying to find that sweet spot that would make your vertebrae settle or end your life, whichever came first.

“Ouch why?”

“Ah...” You couldn't tell him what had happened. You'd be branded stupid, and scolded by your best friend, it would be a humiliating “Let a friend crash last night” you lied.

“Which friend bunny? The imaginary one?” you heard as he laughed at you walking into the gym, slamming the door in your face. Stupid, sexy Shadow.

“Fuck you sombrita” You abhorred the day your paths had crossed. 2 years ago Shadow had arrived, with a glowing recommendation letter from Commander Maisland they let him enroll in any course he wanted because he would be “the salvation of the world”. Yeah right, that moron couldn't save anyone.

According to gossip, he had been on the resistance team back in Angel’s Island. Surprising to many, even to you until you met him. You were coming back from vacation, in a hurry to get to your anatomy class, you missed breakfast and had to run from the parking lot to the classroom in less than 10 minutes. When you arrived you sat next to Mailo, but during the whole class you could not pay attention, the class was too boring and your attention could not focus on the vascularization of the femur. You settled into your seat and taking advantage of the fact that the light was off, you closed your eyes, heading for dreamland. A hand wrapped around your hair pushing you, causing you to knock onto the table and woke up. You turned around, behind you was a hedgehog with jet black fur and red tips, looking at you with amusement, covering his mouth to keep from laughing.

“You have something on your forehead,” he said, letting out a laugh. You raised your hand and took your pencil; it had stuck to your forehead after the blow you had given against the table. That day you had earned a scolding, an extra job and an enemy.

Shadow was a bastard, with airs and graces. Taunting you whenever he could, pissing you off and competing with you every chance he got. It wasn't like there was much of a chance, he was the ultimate lifeform, at least that was what every professor called him. You hated the moment you found out you would be together once again. The self-defense and advanced martial arts class had run out of instructors, so they had put the two groups together and now you were forced to see him 3 times a week. “It will only be 6 months” you said to yourself as you and Mailo walked in.

Your group consisted of 12 people. 7 for self-defense L1, including you, Mailo, Grant, Susane, Alissa, Roger, and Dalia. The other 5 were supposed to be from advanced martial arts. The instructor, Agent Rios, called them to the center of the gym where the mats were. Quickly, you took off your shoes and tied your hair in a high ponytail. "Listen up, the university doesn’t have the budget to hire more instructors, so I’ll be teaching both levels. However, you’re not the only groups I have, and to make things easier for me, I’ve decided to pair one advanced person with the level 1s. I’ll call out your names and you’ll pair up with your partner on one of the mats, then I’ll tell you what we’ll do next."

"Oh hell no…," you thought. “Alissa and Rene, Roger and Rouge, Dalia and Ivana.” "Hello, God? It’s me again. I know I haven’t been very good, and I really don’t care what you think, but please, don’t let me..." You begged. You really didn’t want to be with him. Anyone but him.

“Susane and Richard, Miss Moon and Shadow, Mailo with me. Alright, that’s everyone. Now, pair up and start warming up. I’ll be back in 10 minutes."

“Excuse me, professor, is there a possibility of changing my partner?" you said, walking behind him. "It’s just that Mailo and I…” “Listen Miss Moon, I saw you last semester. You’re terrible and have no strength. That hedgehog is your best option if you want to pass the year, now if you excuse me" Agent Rios walked past you. Now you had no other choice but to try. The self-defense class was mandatory for all students, even if you weren’t planning to pursue a career in the battlefield there was no getting out of it.

“Great, now I’ll have to worry about two psychos.” You thought as you walked back to the mat where Shadow was waiting for you.

[alacants]

The source of those rumors is a guy from Carlos's family's tennis club who is close to Kiko Navarro & knows some members of Carlos's team & is a regular collaborator with Punto de Break. According to him (he's said this before) Carlos & Juanki had a significant fight towards the end of 2023. But the claim that they nearly split up back then came from someone else who's less reliable.

As for 2025, the first guy says Carlos's dad has apparently not been happy with what Juanki is doing for a while... but it seems like Carlos doesn't agree. If things don't turn around after clay season his family might push for changes to the team.

From my perspective it's hard to understand the coaching strategy sometimes. Like you said Juanki's strength is not tactics but it seems like that's what Carlos really needs. This is just one example but I think it's crazy that he sat on court in silence for three sets without suggesting Carlos change his return position v Djokovic - Carlos eventually figured it out... in the last game of the match. And that was honestly the main factor in him losing. You could argue Juanki wanted him to figure it out himself but why on earth did they not discuss that beforehand when it also cost him massively at the Olympics (which Carlos said he didn't even think about before the match?)

I know Juanki's whole thing is treating team like family but there are a lot top coaches who say that after 5ish years a coach has nothing to give a player anymore & I wonder if their partnership has run its natural course. Carlos doesn't seem any more tactically equipped than he was two years ago & his technicals have mostly not improved either (return... backhand...).

thanks for this background - after replying to some earlier asks i dug around and saw some folks citing punto de break but not any specifics so this is appreciated. this does immediately increase the credibility to me bc i know pdb values their access and would not jeopardize it for nothing lmao. tho if it's like, a guy who sometimes writes for them and is mostly posting on his own time... i guess that's somewhere in the middle. (btw i still haven't seen anything other than reports of reports of reports? if you've got links i would very much appreciate them!)

as usual i think we're looking at two questions here: could carlos benefit from a different coach, and does carlos want a different coach.

i think we are all in agreement that for carlos to continue to develop as a player he needs something he's not getting at the moment, whether we're thinking in terms of incorporating a new addition to the team or making a wholesale switch. and i don't disagree with you at all about the natural lifespan of a coaching relationship. i've cited this before in discussions of juanki's own career (stuck with one guy; was it a mistake?) and of ferru's (split but waited too long; chalked the delay up to personal feelings).

but as long as it's presented to carlos as an all-or-nothing choice i don't think he's there yet and i would not be surprised to find out that his recent post-match declarations were a message. (tbc it very much MIGHT be an all-or-nothing choice, regulars here know i have plenty of thoughts about the academy lmao.)

the thing is that at this point the unknowns are still really, really risky. if you've had the same coach for most of your teen/adult years and you're ready to strike out and try something new, then that's exciting and stimulating and you're in a good place to make the best of it. but if you're dragging your feet? if you feel like you've been pushed? maybe someone else could give you more, but you have to be ready to receive it, you know? if you're an environment that you know enables you overall to perform at a high level (4 grand slams), where you feel overall confident and supported even if you're lacking direction in some big matches, where you get value from your coach's presence above and beyond the specifics of tennis--it is inherently going to be a risk to make a big change and if you're not all in on doing so the risks will be even more likely to find you.

that's why i keep saying is that i don't see it happening unless carlos' results gets much worse than this--or, potentially, unless a voice that holds as much weight with him as juanki's (so, his dad) gets strong enough that he listens to it. that might be where we're headed!

(incidentally i have feinted at this without saying so explicitly, but there is an unbelievable amount of money riding on carlos' success or lack thereof--i don't mean prize money, i mean his brand as a star--and it would be naive to pretend that's not a factor in decision-making. that's one of the reasons i've pointed to a sustained slump, rather than one or two disappointing slams. when the results start to affect the brand.)

just talked this over with friend who compared the ideal set-up to darren/simone for jannik--supervisory coach + tactical/court coach. if so, then the question is whether they come to that same conclusion and get the set-up in place before the decision is out of their hands, so to speak.

[wolfjackle]

You know the story of mine, right? But it's fun regardless and I do love telling it. Your sister helped me (sorta) did you know that part?

So, your sister was trying to convince me to get on Gaia or Neopets or both back when we first met and I agreed. But I had zero clue what I wanted to make my username. I freeze up and go head-empty, no-thoughts when asked to name something. At least I do if it's "important." (Not that internet usernames are necessarily important, but it felt like it was.) I distinctly remember sitting in the cafeteria at lunch with her being like "what do I do???"

So I was reading these books from a series called The Magickers at that exact moment and there were these horrible nightmare creatures that kept attacking the main characters called wolfjackals. I decided "what the hell, why not?" and used it.

Only...I misspelled it. I didn't realize jackal was -al and not -le. Didn't realize the error for....far too long. And by that point? I was attached. Been using it ever since.

Do I remember much about the books? Nope. GoodReads rates them, like, 3 stars, so I'm not even gonna recommend them. It was one of those regular kids go off to an institute to learn magic stories that cropped up post Harry Potter, set at a summer camp if I remember right. I really enjoyed them at the time, though, and they gave me my username. So I'll always be grateful to them for that!

I'll tag...

@hailsatanacab @flipwizardstarlight @gremlin-bot @flowerparrish and anyone else who has a fun story they want to share!

Tag game🎉

Tag your moots and ask them where they got the idea for their tumblr accounts name!

For my name it was a nickname I was giving back in middleschool! One of our teacher had a system where we worked with 'wifi' eachtime we talked in class we lost a bar of the "wifi" (was a weird joke and we never held count on that) All the kids usually joked if they needed 'wifi' , they would borrow mine if they wanted to talk more. (I was incredibly shy in middle school, I only talked to like 3 people at school;^;)

They called me Ms. Wifi because of that. I just thought it would be funny if I put 'miss' instead of 'ms' because of my terrible actual wifi connection I have at home lol.

That's my story! Now moots, only if you guys want to, tell us your story.

Tags-> @slipping-lately @firequeenofficial @noagskryf @twinklstarrrr @halfbakedspuds @polterwasteist @rokushi-san @mygedagtes +anyone that sees this and wants to do this as well

[eeuni]

getaway car ! eva

angst, eva (from swarm), blood, no happy ending, lies, drama, death, a little suggestive, cuts

all seemed like a cruel lie, as if you two were cursed. when eva met you, she enchanted you with her beauty, she invited you to her house, she lent you her clothes, she took care of you every day. she introduced you to her curious friends who lived with her, you thought everything was normal for a moment. just a cute girl who loved taking care of her plants and loved spirituality.

you didn't know what you were getting into.

you began to notice how eva let you go out less and less, she would suggest that she go shopping for things for the home and that you sit there looking beautiful. and many times she offered you spirituality sessions, and she had in mind to make a blood pact with you. she was madly in love. she needed you so much, she didn't want anyone to touch you. she told her friends to leave you alone, that you were so quiet for a reason.

the reason was that you weren't a psychopath like all of them. you didn't know that in the past eva's hands were covered in blood, like all those girls. they were there so they wouldn't have to deal with the police. you remember to this day how you would get on your knees on the wooden floor, excited because eva would tell you about her childhood. but all that came out of her lips was a slightly modified lie.

she didn't want to lie to you, but she had to make you love her enough so that you wouldn't run away when you found out about her crimes. and over time, despite those attitudes (she wouldn't let you go out, she would be jealous all the time, she would manipulate you, etc.) you fell in love with her. a lot.

it was one night after having made a bonfire with her friends in her garden where she confessed to you what she had done. she took your hands, she spoke to you softly, she even seemed a little sorry for having done it and she told you that her hands would never again be covered in someone else's blood. another lie.

"it's a shame...but, it won't happen again, okay my sweet girl?" were her words.

and to keep you from escaping she stole a kiss from you, silencing in a second all thoughts of 'oh, maybe I should think about all this'. her hand went up under your skirt and with her fingers she made you forget about any problems.

you closed your eyes tightly and repeated in your mind: 'the past is the past.'

after that night it was impossible to fall asleep. you overthought everything eva told you, your hands shook, you were panicking. you felt confused at first, why had she done all that? maybe now her actions came to life. but was it really good to stay with her? you felt tears threaten to fall. you wished eva was normal, that she had never done anything so you could love her freely.

"hey, is everything all right?..." dre.

you raised your head in fear. she was leaning against the frame of the room you shared with eva, you nodded slowly. no one could know that you were starting to want to leave that place.

"yes...i was just thinking." you replied, brushing it off.

maybe then she would leave you alone.

"if you want, ill call eva, she'll know-"

slowly dre was turning around, you panicked once again, shaking your head quickly. "no! i—i'm fine!" you prayed to yourself that dre would just leave and stop talking.

"wow, okay. sorry." she acted a little offended, after looking at you for a few seconds she changed the topic. "by the way...do you know where my phone is? i have to see if ni'jah posted."

"no. i don't." you were starting to get anxious and a little upset, you wanted to be alone and be able to think about everything that had happened. "can you please just leave?"

dre let out a sigh, rolled her eyes at your annoyance and left, closing the door. now you could let out that breath that felt so thoughtful and eternal, you lay down on the bed and closed your eyes. your mind began to replay your best moments with eva, how she made you blush so quickly, how she was so soft and sweet that it seemed unreal. you were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't realize she had entered the room when you felt a weight on the bed.

"hi, baby." eva's voice made you open your eyes.

you felt her hand caress your right leg, moving up and drawing her body to yours, almost as if asking your permission to hug you. you left her, loving her too much to push her away, especially when she looked at you like that.

"are you feeling okay?" of course dre had walked into the kitchen and told eva to take care of her upset girl.

this made her curious, she got worried and quickly went up.

you nodded slowly, lying to her a little. eva's hands ran over your waist as she pressed her head against your stomach. "is it because of last night?" she continued talking. "i mean, if you feel—" "eva, stop."

you didn't let her say another word. you looked at her, totally confused about what to do, but you remembered how much she had done for you. maybe deep down she was a good person, but you felt that you no longer knew her fully.

"i love you, eva." you whispered, your hands on her cheeks. she smiled, reassured.

the ties were black and the lies white.

(...)

eva was outside with the girls, in the firelight, you could hear them laughing, talking about nature and its beauty. from the bed, sleep took over you, you told eva that you were too tired to be present that night. she almost called everything off to stay with you, but you told her no, that everything would be okay.

you slept for what seemed like only twenty minutes until you heard heart-breaking screams. frightened, you got out of bed, opening the curtain that led right to where the girls were.

you could see dre coming into the house, screaming and angry. "where's my phone!? i can't miss ni'jah!" she walked up the stairs and into the room, i looked at her in surprise.

she started going through the drawers, breathing heavily. you stood in a corner, starting to shake at the sight of her being so angry. eva came through the door, looking for you. she stood in front of you, as if protecting you.

"dre! its 45 minutes to the festival, by the time you get the—" eva's calm voice was interrupted by dre. "give me my phone."

your skin hit the cold wood of the nightstand next to the bed, you looked at eva. "we are your friends! you belong here."

you still don't really remember how, but dre did break a glass over eva's head. it was the only moment you were able to react. "eva!" you screamed. the woman staggered, falling into your arms and dre tried to attack you. you did everything you could to defend yourself from dre.

"fucking bitch! you're going to die!" dre kicked. you grabbed a sharp glass that had broken loose from the glass and stuck it into dre's shoulder. "f—fuck!" she whimpered.

you stole the keys, took the money, and with eva holding your hand, you locked dre in the room. oh my. what had you become? all the other girls watched you two run down the stairs. drea upstairs was starting to break down the door.

you were so scared but there was no time to think about it.

"oh my god! eva, are you okay?" they were all alarmed to see the blood dripping from eva's head. all those bitches were getting in the way and dre's screams were making you angrier and angrier.

"get out of the fucking way!"

eva was still completely silent, she wanted to see where this whole situation would take you. it was even a little exciting to see you like this. when you opened the door eva followed you, running so she could get into dre's truck and start driving. eva put her hands on the wheel.

"well? drive!" you exclaimed when you saw how she still didn't do anything and dre was already outside, getting into another car.

"yes, ma'am."

she started it, that car became a getaway car. you were lying to yourself, repeating that the person you were was not the real one. you two entered the road, you quickly looked behind your shoulder seeing how dre began to follow the car.

"go, go, go!" your heart was beating so hard you couldn't think straight, all the pressure of the moment was cutting off your breath.

all the commotion on the road made eva leave the road, near a motel-bar she crashed the car into an old tree.

"eva!" you cried, stressed out from not knowing what to do. it was certain that dre would come down and try to kill you two.

you couldn't see anything because of the smoke coming out of the truck, you heard eva cough. you noticed that you two were stuck. from eva's lips came the whisper of your name, you spread the smoke, searching for her face. she let out a moan when you touched her wound on her cheek.

"go...go, please. go somewhere safe." she said.

now you had a reason to leave, but why did you suddenly not want to anymore? you wanted to just die in that car with her. at this point you were crying. the sirens could be heard in the beat of her heart, you two were not far away.

"i can't leave you." you answered her.

you were in a getaway car, you left her at a motel-bar, put the money in the back and then stole the keys.

"go."

that was the last time you ever saw her.

you broke the glass, leaving a kiss on eva's lips that mixed with the taste of your tears and her blood. you should have known you'd be the first to leave.

you were crying,

you were dying,

saying goodbye,

in a getaway car.

two years later.

since the last time you saw her you couldn't stop thinking about her, not knowing if she had survived or what had happened. you had been crying for two whole years, everything that had happened that time was so much that you had to see your therapist three times a week.

eva ran her hands over your body, kissing your skin. you shifted on the bed, letting out a moan. "listen up, hm, i've never paid this much attention to you, ever"

when she looked up, her entire face was covered in blood. her blue eyes were marked on you like two tattoos.

you woke up, letting out a sigh as you came back to reality after that dream. you always dreamed about her. you prepared to tell your therapist about that dream, when you arrived at the place where the session would be, you received a notification. your therapist.

"hello, look, good morning first of all. i have to leave the city due to some health problems my mother is having. it was a pleasure sharing sessions with you, i hope to see you soon. today you will be greeted by a new therapist, i promise it will be fun with her, miss! goodbye and good luck."

you froze when you read that, you had the door in front of you and you wondered once again if you should go in and meet your new therapist. your old therapist was comfortable, and you wanted to tell her about the dream.

you gathered strength and something inside you told you to come in. you opened the door slowly. you noticed a figure identical to....

this must be another dream.

the woman turned around with a sweet smile. of course it was her, she was a mastermind.

"hi, im eva."

her cheek was decorated by a scar.

[ladyescapism]

The Fourth Archeron Sister - Part 5

summary: the baby of the family, Deirdre Archeron, is growing up and finding herself. on place she has already found is in a unknowingly requited crush with a certain shadow singer. will they be able to find each other? or will expectations, honor, and other forces get in the way?

a/n: oh wow look at me - I can still write and post. crazy. I promise that I will be wrapping up this series and the fractured bonds series in the next few weeks/month or so. I have been dealing with some mental health issues so I thank you for your patience as I ease back into writing. nonetheless, enjoy!

masterlist

part 4

warnings: barely proofread, males being jerks 

wc: 1,450

DIERDRE

Deirdre had paled when she saw the gathered court.

“I didn’t want everyone to know at once.” Her voice sounded so timid in the family room with the entire court looking at her for any explanation. Rhys had called a family meeting to discuss what Cassian had heard from Azriel about your failed date. 

Feyre’s face clouded with anger and disappointment. Deirdre turned to Azriel to find his gaze elsewhere. His eyes found every other assembled member of the court - acting like an insult from Alex was a matter of court security. 

"It's good he told us, Deirdre. You could have been seriously hurt," Rhys chided. "Besides, insulting members of my family is not acceptable." 

She looked to Nesta. Her insistence that Cassian exercise restraint was the only reason he stood at her side, tension roiling in his body. 

Deirdre cast pleading eyes to her eldest sister. 

"Deirdre is right," Nesta agreed. "She told Az something private in confidence. She could have come to me when she was ready. A meeting about this is ridiculous." 

Nesta stood, slowly moving around her swollen belly. 

The words of contradiction rose in Feyre's throat but paused as Deirdre confirmed. 

"I was planning on asking to catch a flight to the House of Wind to do just that," Deirdre said. "I needed some time and then I was going to head up for lunch to tell Nesta privately." 

Deirdre put an aggressive emphasis on the last word. 

"I didn't think this a matter of court business. The words were spoken about Nesta and me. Beyond that, it should be up to us who knows about the situation." 

Deirdre didn't miss the look of hurt in Feyre's eyes. She had told Azriel first and planned on telling Nesta second. 

Rhys sighed. "Deirdre, Nesta - do you think there is anything to be done?" 

The sisters shared a glance, unspoken words passing between them. 

"It's my past that came back into Deirdre’s face," Nesta said in a hushed tone. "It's not fair, what he said. He was out of line. But I see no reason to jail him or beat him senseless." 

Anyone could see the objection rising in Cassian.

"Then we're in agreement," Feyre said in her High Lady voice. "The matter is settled." 

No one objected. 

~~~

Deirdre darted out of the family room. Embarrassment flooded her chest, and she didn't want anyone else chastising her or telling her what she should have done. 

A soft hand caught her by the arm before she could make her escape. 

It was Feyre. 

"I'm sorry about all of this," she started. "You should have been allowed to tell us this when you were ready and when you felt the time was right. Azriel was worked up and with the situation involving Nesta, he felt Cassian had a right to -" 

" He felt Cassian had the right?" Deirdre interjected boldly. "It was Nesta and her past that were mentioned. Not him. There was no insult to his character." 

"Yes, but," 

"But what?" 

"If you were mated you would understand. An insult to one is an insult to the other." 

Deirdre scoffed. "I don't have to be mated to understand that Nesta has a right to know about the situation from my mouth before Cassian heard it second hand." 

The males in question looked out from the study into the hall where the sisters argued. Rhys looked shocked. A fight between the two youngest sisters had never been heard of. The rage in Cassia's face and body was relaxing into contempt and concern.  

Azriel just looked ashamed. 

Good, Deirdre thought. He should be. 

~ ~ ~

         Deirdre stomped her way back to her apartment. She earned some confused looks from passing pedestrians – the mild insanity at the muttered curses she spoke to no one in particular. She intended each syllable to one male in particular. 

            She almost couldn’t believe the last hour. Being summoned to the River House with no warning about the reason beforehand. Only to arrive to face the reality that her desire to keep this situation private unless her sister deemed it important to share was completely ignored. She didn’t tell Azriel her plans to speak to her sister, but she shouldn’t have had to. 

            Deirdre wanted to get Nesta’s opinion before telling anyone – even Feyre. She wasn’t sure of her feelings, and she need time to sort herself out. But she knew that speaking to Nesta held an importance. She didn’t need to run to Feyre and Rhys or Azriel to tell her how to feel or react. She could do that on her own.

            She looked around her apartment. Deirdre’s hand twitched with the urge to throw something. She spun, looking for an innocent object to destroy. After she couldn’t find an item worth taking her anger out on, she stilled with her hands on her hips. 

            Hot, angry tears began to flow. She wasn’t sad for herself or Nesta. She was pissed. Pissed that a male who she trusted went behind her back, deciding for her that he knew better.  Deirdre spent the last five years treating Azriel as if he always acted the perfect male. 

            And yet for the second time in a week he proved that he didn’t think of her as an adult but a child whose instincts could not be trusted. 

“He’s here he’s here,” the shadows whispered. 

“Go away!” 

Azriel knocked at the door. 

Without thinking, she moved for the sound, nearly ripping the door off the hinges. 

“Am I a joke to you?” she started. “Am I a child in your view?” 

“Deirdre, may I speak with you?” 

She didn’t slam the door in his face. She spun for the center of her living space, leaving the path open for him. The click of the door closing into place seemed to echo in the room. 

He had entered her space. Despite not turning to look at him, some instinct in her marked his presence. 

“Yes, Deirdre, I’m sorry that this escalated. I didn’t mean for this to get so out of hand.” 

“I told you not to tell Cassian!” She spun on him. He didn’t sound very sorry.

“You’re sorry that it escalated but not for the violation of my trust,” she pointed to her chest. “I had a plan, Azriel. I was going to tell Nesta. I was going to be with her when we told Cassian and Rhys and Feyre if she wanted to.”

“I didn’t know that when you told me I could leave, Deirdre. I thought I was helping.” 

“I didn’t ask for your help!” she forced out, exasperated at his presumption. “I didn’t know what I was feeling, I didn’t know what to do right away. My first instinct was to wait and tell my sister.” 

“You told me first.” 

“You practically forced it out of me!” 

“I did not force you, Deirdre. Do not accuse me of that.” She saw the anger rising in him. The use of force meant something different when it came to Az. 

“I was compelled,” she spat. 

“If you would have told me to leave, I would have.” 

“I wanted support, Azriel! I thought I could come to you, and you would help, if I asked, and that you would treat me like an adult.” 

“I have never treated you like a child, not in recent years anyways.” 

“What do you call this, then?” she insisted. “Going behind my back to tell my sister’s mate about what happened to me before I get the chance to explain anything to her myself? You call that treating me like an adult who can manage her own relationships, on her own time?” 

“Clearly you can manage relationships.” 

            Her heart fell. After his long speech about supporting her and saying that she had the capability to handle herself. Obviously, he just wanted her to stop yelling at him.  

            “Get out.” 

            “Deirdre, wait. I didn’t mean it like that.” 

            She moved away from him as he reached for her. Before he could register what her movements, she dipped down, snatched a book from the table, and threw it as hard as she could.  

            Azriel brought his arm up to block the tome from hitting him in the face. When he peered down at her from behind his raised arm, shock marred his fine features. 

            “I’ll go,” he resigned. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry, Deirdre.” 

            She turned her back to him, swiping the tears that began to fall so that he wouldn’t see. With the closing of the doors, she crumpled to the sofa. Her head fell to her hands and she began to sob. 

taglist:

@feysandzoyalailover @fanfictioniseverything @humanpersonlasttimeichecked @singhillada @marina468 @acourtofbooksandshadows @kristeristerin @xcastawayherosx @bunnyredgirl

[fortunekookie07]

Stay

Hey guys! So I know I'm supposed to be working on my requests, and I am, I really am! I've had this story floating around my head for a few weeks now. I was finally able to write out the ending thanks to Caleb's return. His appearance is small, but it added just the right element, in my opinion.

This is gonna be a long one, a very long one. Quite easily, the longest I have posted here. So without further ado, I present to you Stay.

****************************************************

In the final moments of your life, you supposedly have your life flash before your eyes, and in a way, that was what was happening to you.

You knew your body was flying through your life's experiences trying to find the way to save you now. It wasn't going to happen. This time, you were really going to die. You didn't regret the way you were going to die. The Wanderers were now gone. You'd managed to save everyone.

For the first time in your life, you were grateful for the Aether core in your heart. It had given you the power you needed to repel and destroy the last of the Wanderers. Chansia would be able to rebuild and go on now.

If there was something you regretted, it was your parting with Sylus. Your hand felt empty without the comforting weight of his ring. You hoped someone else would take up the case of finding your brother and grandmother's murderer.

The edges of your vision were going dark. Blood was seeping between your lips and down your chin. Lying on the ground in the ruble of what had been an office building wasn't exactly comfortable, but it wouldn't be long now.

You could hear shouting, people were calling your name. You couldn't hear clearly enough to make out who was desperately searching for you. You wanted to call out and let then know you were here. But any attempt to speak resulted in coughing up more blood.

You knew your ribs were broken. Most likely at least one had punctured your lungs. Your leg was definitely broken. Being thrown had caused the rib break. Having heavy debris falling on you had caused the leg break.

The calling grew louder. They had almost reached you. At least you wouldn't be alone in the end. A smile tugged your lips upward.

Using what little strength you could muster, you managed to grab a rock and toss it a bit. The resulting clatter echoed in the otherwise silent space.

"Over here, she's here"! The voices were accompanied by footsteps and sliding rocks.

People came to your side moments later. You were surprised at the faces you saw. "Sy... lus?" You managed weakly trying to lift your hand again.

The last time you saw him came rushing back as tears gathered in your eyes. You remembered every detail of the last fight.

*******************************************************

CRASH

Luke and Kieran turned in the direction of the master's study. They were at it again, this would be the fourth time this week an argument had broken out.

"I'm going on this trip, Sylus, and that's final"! Your voice echoed down the hall to the library where the twins were sitting.

"How do you think it'll end this time?" Kieran asked his twin. "Same as always." Luke said looking back down to his book.

You were fuming, blood racing as your heart pounded. "I am not a child, Sylus. I am going on that trip!" You shouted at him hands splayed on the surface of his desk as you leaned over it glaring back at him. He was just staring back at you. Eyes hard, a deep frown on his brow. A fist was clenched near his temple.

"I said no. It's too dangerous." He responded in his faux calm, even sounding voice. You clenched your hands into fists. Nails digging into your palms. "It's my damn job. I have to go, and I will be going to Chansia." You'd been trying to tell him about the mission Captain Jenna was sending you on all week to no avail.

Everyone knew how bad the situation was there and how poorly understaffed and under-equipped to deal with the outbreak they were.

They needed help and Jenna was counting on you and six others to go. She had put you in charge of the team and given a rundown of their immediate need. Metaflux was out of control and Wanderers were running rampant in the city. Total lock down had been imposed and people were advised to stay inside and defend themselves in whatever way possible.

You would be teaming up with the Chansia hunters and begin reducing the Wanderer numbers. Rescuing those in desperate need was the second objective. Updating their metaflux barriers was the final goal.

Captain Jenna had stressed the extreme dangers you would be going into and the importance of maintaining personal safety. How this had happened in the first place was unclear, news was slow coming from the city. What did trickle out was only a plea for assistance.

It wasn't like you didn't understand Sylus' concerm for your wellbeing. You'd endured injury after injury fighting the Wanderers. Had broken almost every bone in your body to date. The worst of which had earned you six weeks in the hospital. One of which was in the ICU.

What had made you so angry was his immediate no, when you first brought it up. He couldn't go with you this time due to conflicting schedules and no other flights could be scheduled to Chansia until the situation was resolved.

Your flight was supposed to leave early in the morning. Originally you'd planned to spend some time with Sylus and get him to take you to the airport, but since he was being an asshat, that was no longer an option you wanted to explore.

Storming out of his study you angrily dashed up the stairs to the bedroom. Your anger was such that you didn't even want to be under the same roof as him right now. You shoved all of your clothes into one of your bags and began throwing random items into another.

You didn't need to turn and look to see him standing in the doorway watching you angrily buzz around his bedroom.

"Just where are you going?' He finally asked after several minutes watching you. "I'm going home!" You said throwing your slippers off and stuffing your feet into your boots. "Wait, just wait a minute. You're not leaving..". He began before you cut him off.

"The hell I'm not! You don't get to tell me what to do Sylus. I am not your underling or employee." You push past him with both bags. He tries again to stop you. "Wait, don't leave now. It's raining." Again he tries to prevent you from leaving but you keep walking.

"I'm going home to sleep and then I'm going to Chansia in the morning." You tell him resolutely daring him to try and stop you.

He follows you all the way to the front door. You set your bag down and reach for the knob and then see the ring he'd given you a few months prior. You pull it off your finger and turn around.

You throw it at his head. "Take your ring back, I don't need someone who does not respect me. I'd rather be completely alone. Tears sting your eyes as you catch his expression.

It's just a slight change in his demeanor, but after two years together you can read him like an open book. He's hurt by your actions, deeply hurt. The ring you just threw at his head had been one he personally designed and picked all materials for.

When he'd give it to you, he admitted it had taken him six months to find the red diamond that was the center stone. He'd wanted it to be absolutely perfect, and you knew how high his standards were.

Saying yes to his proposal had been one of the happiest days, but looking at that ring now just hurt. He had no confidence in you and he didn't respect your desire to help others. How could you willingly marry a person like that? The answer seemed simple, you couldn't.

You slammed the door behind you and dashed over to your car. Slipping into the driver's seat, you threw your bags into the backseat and started the engine. Waiting for the heat to kick on, you sat there for a few minutes trying not to cry.

You will the tears to stop, urging yourself not to shed one more second of sadness for him. Sylus did not respect you or your wishes. He had made that abundantly clear tonight. So why should you grieve his loss? Like flipping a switch, the rational part of your brain took over and your tears stopped. Drying your face as you pulled out of the parking spot and flipped the car around. Headed back down the long drive of his ridiculously huge home.

Twenty minutes later you were back in the familiar brightly lit, Linkon downtown area. It was late, almost one thirty now. Thankfully You'd be at your complex in less than five minutes.

As you were getting out of the car you heard your phone beep with a new message. Glancing down, you saw it was from one of the numbers the twins liked to use. It said 'just making sure you made it home safe.' The rustle of wings and a caw had you looking up into the huge tree.

You knew then, that the twins weren't the ones to send the message. Sylus had, and just like always he was checking up on you. A gesture that used to make you feel warm, now left you cold.

In your anger you typed out, don't bother. My actions are no longer your concern.

You couldn't bring yourself to send the text. Instead you tossed your phone onto the bed and then flung yourself down after it. Sleep was going to be a must for the long flight to come in a few hours.

What felt like only minutes later, your phone was going off. You groaned and looked at the screen. Why did this always happen before the alarm sounded? You glanced at the screen, surprised to see Captain Jenna calling so early.

You sat up, now wide awake and answered the call. "I'm sorry for calling so early and right before you head to Chansia, but this couldn't wait". She says before you can even great her.

"What's going on"? You ask, concern pulling your brows into a frown. The seriousness of her tone is putting you on edge. "I've tried not to pry too much, and I know you're investigating the murder of your grandmother and brother, but your frequent trips to the N109 Zone have caught attention. I'm being questioned now. If you weren't headed to deal with an emergency today, I'd be required to pull you from this mission and brought in for questioning." You can tell that she doesn't like saying any of this to you.

"You're one of our top hunters and consistently have the most rescues and time put in, but it's drawn some bad attention to you. I'm so sorry, but when you get back from Chansia, I'll have to bring you in and before all of the commanders and even the chief". The silence following her words is loud. Your heart is thudding in your chest.

You want to blame Sylus for this, but the fault lies with you. You'd known that eventually someone was going to see your location constantly in a place it shouldn't be, and now they had noticed.

"Thanks for the heads up Captain." You tell her somberly, resigned to the fate you'd chosen. "Just take care of yourself, whatever that means for you". Her words carried a weight you were unable to place at that moment. After wishing you a safe flight, the line went dead.

You got up from the bed and began rechecking your bags, trying to ensure you'd forgotten nothing. For some reason you couldn't shake that you wouldn't return to this place again. One last glance around and you were headed out the door.

You heard a car pull up as you locked the door followed by a horn. Glancing behind you, the taxi that you'd requested was right on time. As you approached, the driver got out and helped place your bags in the trunk. A short while later and you were speeding down the highway towards and uncertain future.

*******************************************************

Sylus sat in his chair after you had left, fingers holding up his head and a deep frown on his face. In front of him on the desk, sat your ring. Gleaming back at him, almost mocking him with your absence.

He was tempted to go after you, the thought of following you all the way to Chansia appealed to him greatly. It would mean postponing his trip to Italy, but he could always go there after getting you.

Finally after thinking over his plan and getting all the details straight, he called in Luke. "Make sure the jet is fuled. We're going to make a little detour. He was coming for you, one way or another.

*******************************************************

The situation in Chansia was so much worse than what you were prepared for. Your plane couldn't land in the city because the airport was no longer there. Part of it had collapsed and it looked like a bomb had gone off.

When you finally made it into the city the other hunters were waiting to escorted your group to their secured temporary base. You could tell they were exhausted. Constant fighting with little to no rest had drained them greatly.

That had been three days ago, now your group was equally running on empty. Rescues were slow going. The few families you'd managed to get to had been safely evacuated. Combined efforts had resulted in some success at the very least. Part of the city on the western side was no Wanderer free. Patrols roamed the freed edge ensured thay it remained safe.

"We need to put together a small team and head straight for the center of this mess. If we can stabilize the mwtaflux and implement the reinforced shield then no new Wanderers will appear." You were sitting at a make shift table with Captain Willow and a few others. "It's a suicide mission!" One of the Chansia hunters objected.

You sighed heavily, this had been the argument for the last half hour. Rubbing your temple you spoke again. "Look, I understand your concerns and objects very clearly but you need to remember this. If we don't do this, the Wanderers will keep appearing and our efforts to evacuate will turn into a retrieval for the deceased. My team and I cam here with three objectives. I will do this myself if I have to, but it's going to be done." You had tried being nice, and you had even tried negotiating, but the same hunter again and again stood in your way.

"Captain Willow, you can take this down as defying a direct order from yourself if you wish, but I am going to get that shield up. Even of I have to do it without support."

Looking at the stubborn and set faces of the Chansia hunters you got up from the table. "So be it then, stay alive." You tell them and leave the tent. You make a brief stop by your own tent. Simone is waiting for you.

"I take it they are still opposed to heading to the metaflux center then?" She asked, but not needing an answer. You just nod and enter the tent, gesturing for her to follow behind you. "What will you do no?" She asked sitting on the cot beside you.

"No choice, I'll have to do this alone. I can't risk the safety of the entire team on a small chance of success." You flop back onto the cot and throw your arm over your eyes. "I can go with you." She said softly. You lift your arm just enough to see her. She is grapling with something.

"I can't let you come this time Simone. You're my partner, so if I can't find a way then you'll have to lead the team. I won't leave them without direction." You stand up and pat her shoulder.

Simone has worked with you for almost a year now. She was a very capable and reliable partner. If you couldn't do this, she might be able to.

You started packing a backpack, making sure the Flux stabilizer and shield were secured. If they were damaged, then saving Chansia would become a hundred times harder. The odds already seemed impossible. If only Xavier were here now. He could get you to the center.

You shook your head. Xavier had been on an extreme mission for the last year now. It's how Simone became your partner. With Xavier otherwise occupied the spot beside you had become vacant and some missions were just too dangerous to do alone.

With a map of the city and a goo understanding of where the Wanderers were concentrated, you plotted your route with Simone. It was going to be easy, damn near impossible, but if you could stick to this, the faintest hope existed that Chansia could be saved.

Having everything you needed, you made one final stop to Captain Willow's tent. She seemed to know to expect you. "I won't report you for insubordination, I know you are trying to save the city. Even if I don't agree with your methods. Captain Jenna has told me of you. It's not like your reputation is unknown to us. I wish you luck." She turned and went into the tent after.

Picking your way through the east side of the city was easy going at first. The sun was up so at least the nocturnal Wanderers were not active during the day. The further into the city you got, the harder it became to go unnoticed by the Wanderers.

Battling them seemed to attract more attention. It had been four hours since you left the campsite. You'd managed to get only halfway to the target.

The sun was starting to set. The longer this took, the harder it would get. Depending on the type, nocturnal Wanderers could be up to ten times more dangerous. There was one type of Wanderer that you prayed would not be in the vicinity. You wouldn't be able to take it on alone. It just wasn't possible.

After another hour has passed you finally arrived at the building, or what was left of it. This was where the strongest distortions in the metaflux were coming from. No doubt this was also the most dangerous place in Chansia city.

The first two floors of the building has collapsed. Surprisingly, at least from what you could see, the thrid floor now resided on the first. Making your way over sections of broken wall and scattered glass, you headed for the hole in the wall that would get you inside. Much of the floor was still in tact.

Well from what you could see. Unsurprisingly, there was no power. Shadowy darkness awaited you past the hole. With the rapidly sinking sun, you did not have much time.

Carefully you made your way inside, a flashlight leading the way. You occasionally swept the bright light around, checking for any lurking Wanderers. You breathed a sigh of relief, not noticing the large tail coming up from behind you.

*******************************************************

Finally he'd come back, the urgent mission taking him deep into the tunnel was over. He smiled looking at the back of his phone. A picture of the two of you as kids was displayed in the case.

In it you were hugging him, caught in a laugh and your eyes closed. He remembered thay day well. Every moment was precious to him.

Who knew that Jospehine adopting the two of you as her grandchildren would bring him a world of joy? Nothing was more precious to him than you. His precious sister, one of the only good things to come out of his life.

His work was dark and devoid of the light that seemed to always grace you with it warm love. He was always reaching for thar sun, for you. "Just wait for me, I'm finally coming home." He whispered to himself before getting up from his seat and heading for the ships open bay doors.

An hour later and he felt nothing but frustration. You weren't home, no one seemed to know where you were. Deciding to just cut to the chase, he was headed to association headquarters when a story played on the TV.

"Our latest breaking story, Linkons finest were deployed to Chansia city several days ago and since then no information has been received as to their fate. Reports have trickled in over the latest disaster to befal Chansia city. An Ignus wrymlord was spotted yesterday in the cities center. Unconfirmed pictures of the Wanderer have been provided to us but we've been unable to verify the identity of the creature seen in Chansia's vicinity. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the men and women fighting to save the lives of the people still trapped. Please stay safe."

After the report ended for a moment the picture was displayed on the screen. He froze, blurry picture or not. It could only be one thing. He picked up his pace running to headquarters hoping against hope to find you there.

*******************************************************

Your ears were ringing and your fingers came away wet from the side of your head. You didn't know exactly what had happened. Only that you'd been thrown into the side of the wall. You hadn't seen what had attacked you either. The flashlight was gone and so was the backpack you'd been carrying.

The first attempt to get up had your stomach curling.

So you lay there for several minutes. Waiting for the ringing to subside.

It was when you attempted to stand that you finally heard it. A roar so loud it had you crouching down and trying to block your ears. It felt like the very ground was shaking.

Fire sprouted to life moments later, lighting up the space all around you. Any hopes of leaving you previously had vanished. Ten feet in front of you nesting in the huge creator in the ground was a creature that resembled a dragon.

Your brain whispered the correct name for this monster but your eyes couldn't make sense of it. No Wanderer of this magnitude had been seen on this side of the Deepspace Tunnel since their appearance sixteen years ago. Only petrified remains could be found in the older parts of Linkon city, but even then. None of them were the size of this one.

Easily thirty feet across, with a wingspan of at least a hundred feet. It's tail flicked behind it, and you knew this had been what knocked you into the wall.

Without the stabilizer you couldn't even drive it off. Much less fight it, but lacking any other choice you stood your ground and waited for it to make a move.

Maybe you could deal it enough damage that someone else could finish what you started.

This time you were ready for the tail swipe. You just barely managed to dodge. You drew your weapons and fired, the bullets ricocheted off the scales not leaving so much as a scratch.

You began trying to recall your studies in the academy. They had taught you about every known Wanderer. Ignus wrymlord being the most dangerous one.

A nocturnal type, vast firepower, highly intelligent and calculating. Territorial and temperamental, all of these things made for a very aggressive Wanderer.

Tightening your grip on your favorite guns you stared it down. You were going down fighting, refusing to give in to fear. Let your efforts cast the die of fate in Chansia's favor.

Standing to your full height you took a deep breath and dashed forward.

*******************************************************

Explosions rocked the ground, and at first Sylus thought it was an earthquake. For how frequent it was and the fact that it seemed to come from one part of the city every time, he crosses that off the list.

It was only when a bright light lit up the sky, blazing as bright as the midday sun, did he know something was very wrong. He felt his heart constrict in his chest and cold fear wash over him. It was coming from you.

You were unleashing the power in your heart, all of it and all at once. This would kill you for certain.

As he emerged from the side of the building he ran into a few other people. The two women he recognized immediately. Tara your chatty best friend and Jenna leader of your unit. The man he thought looked familiar, dark hair and piercing purple eyes. He was almost as tall as he was.

"Name yourself!" Jenna shouted at you holding her gun aloft. Her shouts attracted some attention. Approaching behind them was a large group of low level Wanderers. Like it was reading his thoughts his evol took shape and raced past them, cutting down the first wave easily.

Getting to you wasn't going to be easy.

*******************************************************

You got to your feet again, your body protested as another wave of pain threatened to knock you over. Numerous cuts and gashes had taken you over. There was hardly a patch of skin on you not soaked in your blood. One of your guns had been lost the last time you'd been thrown against the wall.

At least you'd managed to deal it damage too. It's wings were shreaded and bent at odd angles. It's tail could no longer throw you around either. Being trapped under a huge section of the ceiling. One of its eyes had also been taken out.

You may be worse for wear, but this Wanderer certainly wasn't unscathed. Your body felt heavy and your mind was becoming hazy. Briefly you wondered if it was because you'd lost too much blood.

It roared again, shaking the ground and knocking you off your feet. You heard your other gun hit the ground and silently cursed its loss. Now out of weapons, ideas and strength, you sank to your knees. Your evol had been drained to empty awhile ago.

You thought back to everything you'd ever learned about protocores and Aether cores. To when you'd first met Sylus after sneaking into the N109 Zone. He'd told you that the Aether core in your heart could provide unlimited energy. What was preventing you from using it to destroy this Wanderer?

The moment that thought popped into your head and idea began to take place. Quickly setting to work in provoking the Ignus wrymlord into striking several load bearing pillars brought the upper floors down with a crash.

The light of the moon shone down through the clouds of dust. The Wanderer roared in fury at having its lair destroyed. It began attacking you indiscriminately.

Trying to tap into the power of the Aether core in your heart had never been easy. Sylus had tried many times with little to no success. He used his own freely but couldn't understand why you were unable to do the same.

You realized the answer quickly. It wasn't that you couldn't. Rather that you shouldn't, his thinking before that, you had very similar Aether cores was wrong. They were vastly different. Sylus' provided strength. Yours was meant to protect, the answer seemed so obvious now. It was a wonder it alluded you before.

Once you understood that, it was as simple as breathing to draw out the power. Slow going at first as you imagined the power gathering in your hands. Opening your eyes, that was exactly what you were doing.

A golden ball was in your hands. Growing in size as you gather more and more power. When you had it all you stared, dazed at the explosive energy dancing just over your palm. You smiled faintly, this would surely save all those still trapped in Chansia. This Wanderer wouldn't hurt anyone else.

With that thought in mind you fired the ball of energy at the Ignus. Once again you were knocked off your feet, but this time there would be no getting up.

*******************************************************

"Stay with me, Kitten." Sylus said as he took your hand. You blinked slowly as your vision refocused on what was in front of you. You glanced to the side and saw Tara. She was crying and doing a poor job of hiding it. "It's ok, you're gonna be fine!" She said voice cracking. Jenna had a grim look on her face to she could only scrunch he'd fists and try to hide the worry in her eyes.

It was then that another person made his presence known. "C... Caleb?" .... You asked, voice unsure as you stared at him. Unable to believe he was real, and this was not his spirit coming to guide you.

"Hey pipsqueak." His voice lacked it's usual cheer. You could see the worry all over his face, it wasn't like him. "Ca..leb?" You say softly reaching for his face trying to smooth the worry from his brow. "S'ok I'm fine." He grabs your hand and holds it firmly.

"Of course you are. A medical will fix you right up. You won't even have a scar afterwards." You can see that he doesn't believe what he's telling you and you try to smile at him, but coughing takes over. More blood is seeping between your lips.

"Where's that damn medic?" Glancing back at Captain Jenna as she anxiously looks around for someone. "I'm fine, it doesn't hurt anymore." Your arm goes limp as you can't hold it up anymore. "I'm jus gonna take a lil nap." You whisper and your eyes slide closed.

Sylus grabs your hand tighter in his grasp. "No, you need to stay awake now. Kitten stay with me." You manage to wrench your eyes open again but you can hardly see now. Everything is hazy and even though you're laying down the room is spinning. "It's ok, just let me go." Unable to keep your eyes open anymore they close again. In the silence that follows he can hear your heart stutter and then stop.

"No, no!" He shakes your shoulders trying to rouse you again but you don't wake up.

Finally the medical finds his way to your group. He begins cpr immediately. After ten minutes he stops and calls it. "I'm sorry, there is nothing more I can do. Her injuries are extensive. With the rib fractures and lung puncrure alone, I can't perform the surgery here. She'd die of infection. I'm so sorry for your loss." He gets up quietly and retreats.

Sylus sits there holding you, unable to accept that you are leaving him permanently. "No, you aren't leaving me behind again. Not this time." He said ans leans over to lay you back down on the ground.

*******************************************************

As you sit next to Sylus and Caleb, quietly observing the procession a strange feeling comes over you. "Is this how it feels for everyone to believe you're dead?" You ask softly. Sylus only shrugs not offering a verbal response. "Can't say pipsqueak, I didn't attend my own funeral." You sigh, this was your own idea after all.

Almost the entire city of Linkon had shown up to pay respects to you today. Your services to the city were no small collection of deeds afterall. Captain Jenna had first suggested this after your miraculous recovery. Although he would not tell you how, Sylus had said you were connected now. If he dies, so too would you and vice versa. No amount of begging and pleading would budge him on the matter. Eventually you'd stopped asking.

Jenna had told you I'm detail what exactly was waiting for you if you returned to the Association Headquarters. A full scale investigation, dismissal as a hunter, possible jail time, and some other things.

Being pronounced dead however, the Association had organized this massive funeral service and posthumous award ceremony following the service. Few people would know that you had survived the ordeal with the Ignus wrymlord. The second known person to fight one and live to talk about it. Lumiere being the first and only other one.

"What am I going to do now? Being a hunter was all I'd ever wanted to do, even as a kid." Sylus takes your hand and squeezes it softly.

"Just stay." He looks down at you and kisses your forehead. "Just stay with me."

[raqi-marr]

HDG How-To: Class-E xenodrugs in real life

A while ago, I wrote one of my first posts on this blog about the experience of trying to recreate class-H's in real life by doing LSD. This was generally very successful, and having done it several more times since then, I can confidently say that if you want to feel like you are getting the floret brainwashing experience, LSD is a very good drug to do it with.

However, I recently had an unexpected and unplanned-for experience which has given me quite a lot of insight into what being on class-E's would probably be like in real life. My first exposure to anything that could be described as similar was when I started duloxetine (an anti-anxiety SNRI medication) last year. I can't actually remember super well what life was like before that any more, but my recollection is that after going on it, I noticed myself having substantially less intrusive thoughts/being less inclined to doom spiral about stuff any time I was unoccupied for more than 10 seconds. The entire experience was more complicated than that and deserves its own post some time, but it is also kind of boring and not all that class-E pilled so let me get to the good shit now

Yesterday, I was privileged enough to get to actually try cuddling another human being for the first time in my life (I say privileged because lord knows how many of us long distance relationship mfs go years without physical touch.) As it turns out, this shit makes SNRIs look like fucking sugar pills in comparison, because by the everbloom I have never been so fucking chilled out in my life as after an hour of getting held and squeezed by my partner

I have a bunch of anxiety conditions and am generally known by all my friends as That One Bitch With No Chill, so you can imagine my shock when, in the aftermath of this, I sat down at my chair and prepared to start worrying about how many jobs I have that I need to go and finish and how I probably did a shit job cuddling with my partner, and found that my brain just didn't feel inclined to do any of that stuff at all. Not just 'uninclined', but straight up refused to do it after repeated prompting from a very confused me

The best way I could sum up the experience was like someone had reached into Raqi_Settings.txt and set "anxiety_enabled = true" to "= false". It just did not work any more. This immediately reminded me of a couple scenes I'd read in HDG where pov chars get put on class-E's and just can't do that any more, and I started wondering "okay so wtf is happening to me, why did an hour of physical contact put me on fucking plommy-tier drugs"

The answer, which I figured I would share with everyone else who might be similarly inexperienced with the Terran capacity to self-synthesize xenodrugs, is oxytocin! If you're anything like me, you probably read 'oxytocin' and go "oh yeah that's the hormone that makes you feel all lovey and dopey around people, right?" and think that's more of a class-C thing. Well: yes, but also, apparently no; as it turns out, it does more stuff than that! A friend linked me this article describing the anxiolytic effects of oxytocin:

I am not a chemist so I'll be real: I don't understand this shit beyond the abstract, but the abstract seems to be all one really needs to get the main point here; namely, that oxytocin - in addition to being a bonding hormone - also makes you less stressed. A lot less stressed, it seems like.

So in essence, it seems as if Terrans synthesize their own class-E's from prolonged intimate physical contact. This strikes me as having a lot of potential HDG-coded play uses, and so I'll briefly go over a few of them below:

You can, at least theoretically, probably force someone to get less anxious just by (it'd have to be non-stressful, presumably, or this wouldn't work) physically restraining them and then snuggling with them lots

Have someone who chronically worries about stuff, and can't be convinced to chill out? Just turn their own body against them and make it drug them into forcibly relaxing! There's a lot of potential for very hot play in having someone who is very anxious and usually refuses comfort from their friends just getting forced to snuggle for a while, and the fact that if they don't break out of it, their brain is going to make them calm down adds a very fun con-noncon aspect to it.

I noticed while experimenting that the sound of someone's breathing/heartbeat is in fact very hypnotic, and I found myself naturally synchronising my own breathing with my partner's. This is probably about as close to core cuddles as it's possible to get irl.

Since oxytocin is also a class-C, you can bully whoever you're doing this to about how you are also forcing them to love and trust you in the process!

i am a dumb bitch who doesn't know how to stop working, and the thought of being forced to chill the fuck out by both physical and chemical means is very hot

The last thing I can think to note is that the general sensory overwhelm of being in such close proximity to another person also had a very strong quieting effect on my ADHD; which in turn made falling into a trance state not only easier, but automatic without any encouragement (oh yeah also I'm autistic and ime the sensory from getting squished tight is Very Good). the takeaway here being that it would probably be very easy to hypnotise someone who was being little spoon i think

So yes! I have not yet had the chance to experiment further with this, but I may make a follow-up post when I've had more time to come up with additional ideas. In general I just really like the idea that, if you're anxious, you can just go "hi hello please hold and squish me for an hour" and your brain responds with "understandable; disengaging anxiety module for the next 16 hours". all the memes about terrans being designed for touching were true it seems

[9mysterybook6]

What do I expect from this coward?🤦‍♀️

I told her to come and face me.

But guess what Rhylie did?

Rhylie you can't run away from me not after you keep lying and harassing us

you tried to escape again

This is exactly what Rhylie did on her old account.

I will continue to spread awareness about Rhylie to everyone.

But look at her actions

I'm so scared she said

And Rhylie is still playing the victim.

I thought at least is not that worst

But I was very wrong

because of that the spoiled brat Rhylie

First I never said that I queen of Tumblr But that was you

You insisted on saying you are queen of Tumblr

I have evidence in the previous posts that you said this.

Plus Rhylie says that she is a god to all us🙄😬

And secondly

I never damsel in distress

I don't need anyone to save me

I can face my battles alone unlike you, you coward who hides behind your followers.

I said you are a fake damsel in distress And I did not mention myself in this phrase

else

Delete this now, You do not have the right to publish this drawing.

This drawing belongs to torrentialchaos.

This was an old drawing

When torrentialchaos didn't know Rhylie for who she really was

torrentialchaos story

((Alright, time for my story on Rhylie…

So, a while back, you may recall I did an art trade with Pami, and I very much enjoyed doing it.

Anyway, the next day, I got an ask in my inbox from her asking if I do requests, and of course I said yes. This was before I knew who she really was.

Anyway, her request was very simple. Draw herself, Pami, and a few other people (that she probably is also harassing) in the pose from Turning Red, which I did

Yes, I’m finally showing this now. Only so you can see what this creep made me do. I feel disgusted looking at this because I spent a good amount of time making this, only to find out I was being used for a stalker.

After I made this and posted it, I messaged Pami, of course since she was in it, and that’s when I found out the truth. Disgusted, I deleted the post immediately and blocked her.

And guess what happened next. A little later, I get a message from HER FRIEND asking me to unblock her! I unfortunately know what this is like as I had something similar happen to me once another time, but I’d rather not talk about that…

So yeah, that’s my Rhylie story. We need to get this creep off of tumblr for good.))

I feel bad for torrentialchaos

But what makes me angry is the response of Rhylie If you read what is in the picture

The worst thing is Rhylie taking The drawing without the owner's permission.

Seriously, torrentialchaos posted how they hates you now and you take the drawing and say three points

That's all matters to Rhylie.

her requests and demands

else Rhylie You prove it that you are 100% a Creep

I'm talking about this

@rainbow-starheart and @shadowwolfmemes was asked an important question

And you say you are 21 old And sensitive

You are asking someone with Different age from you to date you.

You don't even know them

They only know Rhylie through the drama

You ask to be in a relationship with people, you barely talked to them

Plus She wrote her name this way

(rhylie the cater fly is not a creep🤣🤣🤣🤣)

and other thing, I see your conversation with @rainbow-starheart

You want to get rid of me, you donkey

Don't make me laugh

What will you do? Will you send me one of your followers on me Or ask them to expose me

You are really stupid🤣🤣🤣

Guys I want to remind you, that Rhylie tried to make evidence against me In her old blog.

And it was very bad and weak evidence.

On top of that, she was confident of her weak evidence.

If you don't know what Rhylie evidence is

So let me tell you the funny thing.

Rhylie evidence was just a screenshot of On insults🤣🤣

just like that

There were many errors in Rhylie evidence.

First of all How do you know if this is was me huh

You just take a screenshot of the letters and Nothing indicates my blog

Unlike you, I take full screenshot on your blog

and secondly You can play with the letters.

You can easily mix my insults With fake sentences from you

For example, you can write something and take screenshot And you say I said this

and thirdly

She was very confident in them.

(((This is the real evidence, My own evidence are true and there are many truths about your true color that you've kept hiding from me and you lied and making everyone turned against me,

Unlike you, you're f**king delusional about your business and controlling everyone for what you have did to me.

Don't you see that all this hate posts about me makes others win against your fking Filthy mouth of yours, you're the worst gacha community leader ever and it is ugly and disgraceful, you have been kicked out from gacha community group, shame on you mysteryb*h!!!!!!

I won't let everyone forgive you…….))))

I'm laughing like crazy at Rhylie stupidity.

Even if one of Rhylie's followers tried to exposed me

They will be thrown Tomatoes at them.

Because first of all there is nothing to expose me at all

And secondly, if they tried to cover up Your crimes With an excuse and empty arguments, than Their position will be very bad.

And thirdly

If they try to lie about the truth or deny it

Their position will be very bad if they lied.

For example, if they said that @pamithebunterfly2007 Under mysterybook control And her lies

pami will respond angrily: This is not true.

pami: and Who gave you the right to say that?

pami: Rhylie is the problem

pami: Rhylie is a old creep stalker me!!! And you dare to say that mysterybook controls me

And pami showering them with their anger While others agree too

You're just making yourself worse and worse every second.

You can't get away with harassing people that easily without punishment.

So I suggest you to delete your blog from here Rhylie

I'm not afraid of you, You coward

Face it I'm the winner in this drama

[thealchemistsfantasy]

To younger fans from a fnaf veteran

I'd just like to say to everyone reading this, especially those who are young and still in school, that being a fan of this franchise isn't "cringe." Cringe is a word made up by people who want to shame you for being passionate and liking things they think are stupid. What is really cringe is disingenuity and hating on those who like things you don't. I was around 9 in 2014 when the games first released and I got into them, and I've struggled a long time with my relationship with this franchise growing up because of the way the internet felt about it.

I wish I didn't spend as much of my childhood as I did being ashamed or embarrassed of letting anyone know I was a fan of the series. Afraid of anyone seeing me buy toys, or merch. I wish I still didn't feel anxiety as a 20 year old woman when I think about telling somebody I meet that I'm a fan of the franchise. I've always loved this franchise with every ounce of my soul, but I wish I was never afraid to show it. I wish I could go back and have the courage to embrace it the way you do now.

I can prove to you that what they're saying isn't true. Look at how the series was perceived in the late 2010s, it was "cringe" and "full of furries" (used in the derogatory sense) and generally unpleasant. Now remember the FNaF movie and how suddenly it was cool to like it again and those same people who would bully others are now lining up to see it. You'd think if it was truly cringe then it would always be cringe, but it isn't because cringe isn't a real thing.

That's how you know what they're saying isn't true. I'm making this post because I wish somebody had made it for me back when I was still a kid. There is nothing wrong with loving something with every inch of your heart.

I'm a 20 year old woman, I love this franchise and my love is so deep, it's so much a part of me that I doubt it will ever really go away. I will probably always love this franchise, but I regret not loving it the way that I should have. You have that opportunity. You have the courage. Love earnestly with your whole heart. Please grow up with the courage to love with all you have. Not just FNaF but with anything else. It's one of the most important things you will ever do for yourself. Live and love on your own terms, for me and for yourself.

Please share if you can.

[geddyqueer]

i would love some tunnel fic AND (/or) ⛏️💕⛏️

ok i'm holding off on posting more about tunnel fic until i actually write more words. but because you asked so nicely, you're getting some background of geology fic AND a snippet.

this fic came about because annie sent me some bts shot of lou where he's wearing a fishing vest and i was like this is geology professor core. and then i simply couldn't stop thinking about it. back in my wayward youth i was a geology major and i've always thought that a field study would make for a great character study template, so the fic is laid out like a report:

the OTHER major player in this fic is that concept a few people were kicking around several months ago when that interview dropped about buck and tommy learning more about each other as their relationship developed (LOL LMAO!) that maybe tommy had a past partner who had died. and annie and i were sitting there in the sandbox, and we were like: what if his partner who died was older than him. what if his partner who died had been in a position of authority over him. what if his partner who died had been not only his professor and academic mentor, but also his gay mentor. and now, what if buck, a young spritely 20-something, recently self-actualized, with the hots for his older professor, was pushing up against all of that history of tommy's. all set against the background of my second-favorite thing to think about: rocks!

anyway, here's a snippet:

The room is dark, but the door's unlocked. Buck takes a chance and pushes it open. It doesn't look like there's anyone else in there, but there is a weird lump in the front corner behind the desk, and he can't quite make out what it is until he flips the light switch on and the lump startles and jumps and–it's a guy. 

Not just a guy, but the guy.

Even with the memory of the jacket he was sleeping on imprinted deep into his face, Buck can tell he’s good looking. He has eyes, after all. And speaking of eyes, this guy—and it has to be the same one whose papers Buck has been reading all week—well, his eyes are piercingly dark blue. He blinks rapidly, sits up, and stares Buck down with those eyes.

"Uh, hi," Buck says, as the guy shoves his jacket off the desk and slaps his own face a couple of times and gets to his feet. "Are you Dr. Kinard?"

"Shit," the guy says, his voice cracking a little with sleep. He clears his throat. "Was I supposed to have a TA this semester? Sorry–"

"Oh, no, no, I'm, uh. I'm just a student," Buck says with a chuckle. He doesn't mean to, but he bobs his head like he's shy. He's not shy! He's just clearly in the right place at the wrong time. Maybe he should let the guy snooze, come back in half an hour.

The guy–Dr. Kinard–frowns, and wow, the picture of him on the UC-Pasadena Geology Department website does not do him justice. He's really earned that spicy pepper, Buck thinks, and then mentally kicks himself for it. "Huh," Dr. Kinard says, then: "Christ. Did I sleep through class?"

"No! No, you're good, I'm just–I'm super early, first day on campus, all my classes were remote last year, and because I'm, you know, 'non-traditional', not fresh out of high school, I didn't go through the, uh, standard orientation." 

Real smooth, he thinks. He's rambling. He needs to stop rambling. At least the hot professor standing in front of him is starting to grin instead of rolling his eyes. 

"Anyway, I'm a Bio major but I picked this class because, well–"

"Easy credit?" 

Buck stares in shock, but Dr. Kinard isn't even looking at him; instead he's shuffling back toward his desk, hand reaching for the stack of papers that he was just using as a pillow. 

"What? No way," Buck says, and it comes out a little more forceful than he intends. "No, I read your dissertation. It was really interesting. The, uh, the section about the volcanism in the Quaternary era? Am I saying that right? At first I was just like, woah, this is cool, I didn't know about any of this but then I was looking at the timelines and realizing that the earliest humans were literally walking around getting all, you know, homo-erectus-y while that volcano was spewing! And now people walk around Yellowstone and we just have no idea!"

Dr. Kinard's hand hasn't moved since Buck started talking. He's just… still, leaning over his desk. "You. Hold on. You read my dissertation?"

"Yeah," Buck says. "It was good!"

[ansteeze]

I'm a little too late and i'm a small blog but seeing everything that's going on i felt the need to speak just like many of us.

TW for this post

cause there's gonna be triggering things. Also English is not my first language so i'm sorry if this is hard to read.

First post that saw yesterday was from Kay @endereies and i felt so sorry for what had happened. But when i woke up today and saw that this affected many others it made my blood boil.

I'm 22y.o. and i've been in therapy for 3 years now. When i was in the age 15-18, in my teen years, unfortunately i had experienced harassment not once. It was from people who was older than me, 18-22 years, and from people who was my age. At the time i didn't find it disturbing. I had many bad friend groups, we were drinking and partying so it all seemed like jokes. I didn't realize the impact it had on me until i was in therapy for 2 whole years. I used to tell my friends "stories" about how many guys tried to fuck me and i used to find it funny, cause joking about it probably was my coping mechanism.

So with that being said. I'm so proud of everyone who unfortunately experienced such traumatic interactions but decided to speak about ongoing situation. When you are a MINOR you couldn't possibly know when or if some people have bad intentions. Cause from my experience when i was underage i didn't understand that. So anyone who spread hate or blaming the literal WICTIMS of that situation can go fuck themselves.

About this Bri or Juno or whatever she is. I'm glad that I've never interacted with her and i feel so bad for everyone who unfortunately have. When i saw information about her age and personal life i was in pure shock to say at least. As a 22y.o. I have many nieces and nephews who are in their early teens rn. So i literally can't bare with thoughts that someone who way older than me could interact with minors that way and don't even see a problem with that. All these excuses that she wrote is completely out of hand. If that's how she responded, either she completely loco or just stupid. And i genuinely don't even know what is worse.

I'm so sorry for everyone who has experienced interactions with this particular person and for everyone who experienced any other form of harassment abuse sa or anything else in their lives. And i'm so proud of everyone who spoke about this. And i feel so much appreciation for everyone who hasn't been affected by this personally but brought up this issue cause this is the things we should talk about for many reasons: to inform people, to prevent such things from happening, to make a safe space for people to speak out loud and to even educate people who don't know what could be wrong.

Thank you for reading

Sending love to everyone 🫶🏻

[ten-simm]

[arttsuka]

Jedediah and Octavius

Some wips (but I forgot to take pictures of most of the steps) + the 'clean' version (basically without the hearts because I posted this on Instagram too and people I know irl follow me there 🥲)

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.