#i didn't even use perspective lines which is why there's probably a lot of mistakes but shhhhh

[mawguai]

The sky looked beautiful on that day when I made a new friend

[alexanderwales]

The Witness and The Mountain

Since The Witness is a game that's impossible to really play twice (it's about learning and observation, and the save game is inside your brain), I sometimes watch Let's Plays of it for that vicarious thrill. You get to watch people figure things out! You get to see them make assumptions about how the rules work, and watch them have epiphanies!

Spoilers for The Witness follow.

Unfortunately, a lot of these people simply do not get what the game was going for. That's fine, that's how art is sometimes, and most LPs are streamed by people who are, at the very least, aware of their audience and filling air (or at worst, engaging with chat and only half paying attention).

There is, in particular, The Mountain. Through the whole game you've been completing different areas, lighting up lasers that shine up to the mountain peak, and eventually you make your way up there, and there's a beautiful puzzle that requires changing perspectives, and after that you're on your way down into the bowels of the Mountain, which it turns out contains an enormous modernist facility. There are bits and pieces of design laying around, models and diagrams showing someone going through the work of making all the things you've seen around the island.

It's not just the environment that's different, the puzzles are too. And in particular, there are a few series of puzzles that I've seen many many people think are just the stupidest trolliest shit. These are the panels that are obscured by black bars, the ones with flashing colors, the ones that are at an uncomfortable angle, the ones that twist and turn when you try to do them.

Now, is this trolly shit? Yes, absolutely. But it also has a point.

The Mountain is about constraints, and design, and how we have to work within the limits of a medium, how what was shown to you throughout the whole game was limited. The puzzles of the Mountain are in one way or another about breaking outside of the constraints, showing you the limits of the puzzle grids, all the things that weren't done. They are, in some sense, just pointing out scope and how it works.

This is the only place in the game where there are puzzles that affect each other. It's the only place where you have two lines on the same grid. It violates the rules that the game has set up, rules that you probably didn't ever think about, in the same way that you've come across a lot of rules you didn't think about in this game (and this is one of the main experiences before The Mountain, being challenged on what you think you know).

And is it irritating to have to solve a puzzle that's off-centered? That you can't see that well? That's spinning in place? Yes. But it's that way for a reason.

What's crazy to me is that I've seen so many people say "how did this make it past QA" or "this is the dumb shit you do when you're first making a game", as though it was a mistake, as though Jonathan Blow had just run out of ideas and was trying to pad the game. Or they'll say "why would you do this to me" and then not actually think about why.

The thing about The Witness is that especially in The Mountain, it's challenging game design and not taking it as gospel, and it's doing this in what I think is an interesting way. But sometimes the people playing it are so used to "good" game design and have had so many brushes with "bad" game design that they just don't even stop to question it.

And I know, I know, I'm saying that it's Bad on Purpose ... but it is! The whole area has a claustrophobic feeling to its puzzles, like you can feel yourself straining against them, and it's really wonderfully thematic, especially as the final section of the game. And I wish that I could sit down with the people playing it and have a conversation about it, what the game is trying to express, how gamers should also have reading comprehension.

I can absolutely understand not liking that section of the game. I think it's easy to get the point of what it's doing and say "yeah, yeah, I get it, but do I need to play these jank puzzles, isn't it enough to comprehend the gimmick?" Personally, I don't think it is, but that's because I have an appreciation for the artsy fartsy stuff. And this is aggressively artsy, in a way that I think is extremely rare in games, particularly because it approaches its artistry from the game mechanic/design perspective rather than the aesthetics/narrative/tone side of things.

[m1ssunderstanding]

I don't get why John was ever seen as crazy for thinking Hey Jude might have been about him, at least partially. I mean "You have found her, now go and get her", "You're waiting for someone to perform with" from around the same time as JohnandYoko becomes a thing - it's more crazy for me to assert the song is chiefly about 5 year old Julian Lennon. Not saying he didn't have a distorted perspective on many things, but tbh I'm kinda annoyed at how easily people jump to call John paranoid and delusional.

You are very smart and way ahead of me anon. I don't know why I fell into that 'silly John' line of thinking before. Maybe because he says a lot of out-there things, even in the actual quote where he says he thinks the song could be about him. Here it is in full, by the way:

“I always heard it as a song to me. If you think about it… Yoko’s just come into the picture. He’s saying, ‘Hey, Jude – hey, John.’ I know I’m sounding like one of those fans who reads things into it, but you can hear it as a song to me. The words ‘go out and get her’ – subconsciously he was saying, Go ahead, leave me.“On a conscious level, he didn’t want me to go ahead. The angel in him was saying, ‘Bless you.’ The devil in him didn’t like it at all because he didn’t want to lose his partner.”

So here's what sounds crazy in that quote (imo)

I sound like one of those fans who reads into things. -- yes.

Go ahead. Leave me. -- why would you have to leave him to get together with Yoko?

On a conscious level he didn't want me to go ahead. -- do you know that? What sign did he give you at the time that that was how he was feeling?

The devil in him being the conscious part and the angel being subconscious. -- so basically Paul is consciously evil but unconsciously good?

But the more I pay attention to the lyrics, the more I definitely see what he's saying.

The song starts out with two lines that very well could have been directed at Julian. (Just like Two of Us starts off as something that was probably about Linda but turns into a song for John). "Don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better." Could easily about Julian.

But after that it veers off. "Remember to let her into your heart." "You were made to go out and get her." "Let her under your skin." Can't be about a five year old but could be about Paul himself or any random guy.

Then quickly it gets more specific. "Any time you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders." Sounds very much to John. "The pain" sounds like something John would reference in their talks and Paul's response would definitely be along the lines of "just don't feel it then."

This line, "for well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder," also sounds just like something John might've said to Paul, telling him his coldness was a mistake.

And finally, "you're waiting for someone to perform with. But don't you know that it's just you. Hey, Jude. You'll do. The movement you need is on your shoulder." It's clearly for John. And it's clearly giving him the okay to go off on his own and do his own thing. Which was not what John wanted and which would've hurt.

Anyway, tldr: John was not crazy to think hey Jude was about him and we should probably take his lyrical analysis of Paul's songs a little more seriously.

[leupagus]

Beard and Nate: friends to enemies to God I hope they get to be friends again

One thing I found interesting about this episode is Beard and Jane's axe-throwing date with the bespoke Nate Crotch Targets. Leaving aside Beard's 17 axes, which he cannot imagine having in a different country (and I do love that at some point between probably season 1 and 2, when he and Ted decided to stay in the UK for the forseeable future instead of going home after those first four months, Beard had his axes shipped and has added to the pile since then. Also that Ted is aware of Beard's axe problem), the vitriol of that is something that's really narratively significant, I think. Because it speaks to the fact that Beard has not remotely forgiven Nate for what he did. And I think that says a lot about Beard as a person, and as a friend.

Beard and Ted have been friends for a long time — long before Wichita (remember, they were only there for one year) — and whatever their past may be, they have a loyalty to each other that is really remarkable. Yes, Beard came to the UK along with Ted; but Ted must have insisted on them as a package deal, and Beard would have a pretty nice salary from Richmond too, not to mention comparable company housing to Ted's pad. They're very close and comfortable talking about complicated, messy emotional stuff with each other — part of the reason the Diamond Dogs formed was because Ted and Beard's rapport began to expand to encompass Higgins and Nate. He sees those two as similar kinds of men, willing to honestly express their feelings and mutually support each other.

And then Nate starts to change.

Beard and Ted first clock it in the very first episode of season 2, in Nate's attitude toward Will (which I think is more Nate repeating the mistakes that his father made with him than Nate actively reveling in abuse — I have a whole BOOK I want to write about Lloyd and Nate's conversation in this past episode, I absolutely cried, don't look at me). Neither of them say anything, which I think would be a mistake if this was real life but in the show is meant to reflect the idea that "sometimes you can let people make mistakes and improve on their own, but sometimes you have to step in early." But Beard, throughout the season, watches Nate a little more carefully, and then when Nate really goes over the line with Colin, he finally steps in. Nate makes his public apology to Colin and things are seemingly fine — remember, Nate's awful comment to Will happens out of Beard's sight.

But Beard obviously doesn't stop watching Nate, because he figures out pretty much instantly that Nate was Trent's source for the story about Ted's panic attacks. Not only that, but the first thing Nate does when Beard sees him is to ask where Roy is, and then lie to him when Beard makes a pretty blatant comment about the article. Then later, when they're all talking with Roy about the Jamie & Keeley situation and Nate confesses about the kiss, Beard makes the flat "I'd be happy to punch you in the face" comment. Because from his perspective, Nate's done something absolutely awful and won't even admit to it, even though he'll readily admit to trying to kiss Keeley. (I'm not making any claims as to which one is "worse," but the show clearly wants to portray Nate talking to Trent as the bigger problem.) Then you have the fight between Nate and Ted (which Ted 10000% told Beard about, I cannot imagine a world where he didn't), the ripped sign, and Nate leaving the club to coach for Rupert Mannion.

As far as Beard can see, Nate took what Beard and Ted had given him — not the assistant coachship, but the camaraderie and trust — and used it to hurt Ted in the most cowardly way possible.

And I don't think Beard is right.

We still don't know exactly why or how Nate told Trent about the panic attacks (what I wouldn't give for THAT flashback), but I think the folks who assume he did it to advance his own career or at the behest of Rupert or something are way off. I think Nate's anger at Ted is a whole other essay, and this past episode has really made it clear how much it's tangled up in his expectations for himself as well as for his father-figures, but I don't think that it's something Beard has been able to understand. All he sees is the fallout from Nate and Ted's broken friendship, and the grief that caused Ted this past year. He's only seen the pain on one side and not the other.

So we have Beard celebrating Nate's departure from West Ham, despite (and maybe because of) the fact that Ted's already forgiven Nate. We see Beard slowly trusting Trent — who after all did write the article but who wasn't Ted's friend or confidante at the time and owed him absolutely nothing — but still willing to erect boundaries when he wants to (even if he pulls them down within 30 seconds). And what I hope we get in the next two episodes is Beard understanding Nate more and accepting that his friend still needs him.

And that his friend is Nate.

[asherlockstudy]

First of all, I can't tell you how stoked I was to read your reply, because your analyses are always so incredibly well thought out, insightful, and eye opening, that it's an absolutely treat for a Rhink fan to read (also, of course I don't mind the ask being included, if anything I'm honored ^^). You've made some fantastic points, and it helped me see things differently, which was a relief, because the EB really left me in a jaded sort of mood.

The part about the mistakes they made, and the half-bakedness aspect was spot on--I had honestly forgotten the hole in the trailer bit for instance--and you were also completely right about this: "This must feel now to you like a massive impersonal project that kind of lost its focus due to all those people meddling and not a deeply driven vulnerable work made by Rhett and Link in earnest", because it's exactly what listening to the EB made me think. So it was very reassuring reading your thoughts on how the truth is found not in the convoluted flashy plot, but in the subtler moments (like the merging of the chips, the truck, and so on), and this is to me a brilliant deduction. The part about Link's acting versus Rhett's was also reassuring, and I agree with you that Link brings out his raw self when something hits close to home, while Rhett does the exact opposite. When I was watching that scene I kept thinking Rhett's acting was weak on purpose so that the scene would not be as emotional (the way he shouted 'Link!' was almost comedic) and to keep things a bit light hearted, because even in the most poignant moments they tend to lessen the drama where they can. But like you said, Link tends to be more genuine in his expression than Rhett (not to mention that his lines in that scene were probably connected to other frustrations he has about other things never changing... *ahem*), while Rhett is more guarded and likes to have control over what he shares.

The point you made about the show feeling a bit like it was lost in translation is also very insightful, because it really does feel like that in the end, which is weird given how long they were working on it... and I agree that it stems from the fact that they are trying to say something in a very roundabout way, that's buried under multiple layers, while also including many distracting plot elements as a red herring, and then expect their audience to divine it. I think their overarching problem is that they don't know if they honestly actually want their audience to be in the know, and hence the half bakedness. I think through this process they are also trying to make up their own minds. It's like having a secret that you both want people to know and not know, and simultaneously leaving hints while also covering them up with fluff to throw people off the scent :D

I also wonder what it was about the first episode that changed drastically and why Rhett didn't want to go into it, because afterall if it was just a simple hardship in filming an idea it might have been interesting to analyze and explain what they learned from it, so the fact he didn't want to talk about it at all, made me think it was something else. And it made me wonder if it was at all connected to that reality show in the first episode, because from everything in the series, this bit was the most disconnected for me. But this could have been just another layer of inconsequential fluff ^^;;

Anyway, sorry that this turned out so long, but I found everything you said very thought provoking and eye opening, so I had all these thought afterwards--it also made me feel a lot better towards the series from a Rhink perspective, so thank you for that as well! I don't like to think about them in jaded ways, but like you said sometimes it's an inevitable result of the fact that they do have a massive company to keep running so not everything can be as intimate a process as we'd like :)

I am so glad you found my answer useful and thought provoking ❤️🙏 It was wonderful reading your reasoning afterwards because it feels so reassuring how we land on the same conclusions. Needless to say, this part is a big truth:

I think their overarching problem is that they don't know if they honestly actually want their audience to be in the know, and hence the half bakedness. I think through this process they are also trying to make up their own minds. It's like having a secret that you both want people to know and not know, and simultaneously leaving hints while also covering them up with fluff to throw people off the scent

I agree, especially in Rhett’s case. First of all, Rhett has a LOT of second thoughts about it (to not say he straight out does not want this) and he is overcomplicating matters, maybe subconsciously even in hopes of being proven right about questioning this decision they’ve taken. Link not so much, although I agree that he too overestimates a bit how confident he feels about it.

(Rhett acknowledges his extreme concerns and his tendency to complicate the situation. His self-critique is evident in videos such as the UnHaunted House and the Taking a Decent Nap ones.)

[gtunesmiff]

What is the single biggest mistake writers make?

They're ants when they should be spiders.

Let me explain... Here's how most people approach writing a song:

They write on a section;

Once they're happy with it, they move on to the next one;

They continue in this way until all sections are written

I call this the "ant approach", because it follows a clear path from A to B. You start somewhere, and you finish one thing after the other until you end up somewhere.

t seems plausible. We like clear-cut processes like this. There's something soothing in formulas like this.

Here's the problem: this process doesn't work

(or at least it makes your life a lot harder than it needs to be)

Why? Let me explain it from the lyrics perspective (most writers have an easier time seeing the issue here).

For decades, here's how I used to write my lyrics:

Verse I: I got this! Man, some of these lines sound so cool!

Pre-Chorus: Starting to run out of ideas here... I guess I'll have to lower my standards somewhat.

Chorus: Right, chorus time. Time for a summary of everything I already wrote... well, if I'm honest, I don't quite know what it means myself...

Verse II: Ugh, I hate this! Why does lyric writing have to be so hard? What haven't I said yet? And what else rhymes with "broken"? I wonder what ChatGPT would make of this.

Chorus: Gosh, this makes even less sense now, but I'm so used to this chorus that I don't want to change it anymore.

Bridge: Maybe I'll just do a "who-oh" type section or repeat the same phrase over and over.

Chorus: Please don't ask me what my song is about, because it has so many layers that even I don't know (and honestly, maybe it's about nothing).

Recognizable?

Well, this happens in music, too, it's just that most writers don't recognize it there (probably because they don't know it any other way).

What's the alternative?

I present: The Spider process.

Consider the spider web:

We don't care where the spider began crafting it.

We don't care that it didn't look like a web for the first few hours.

We don't even care that the spider had to undo some of its work.

All that matters is that all the right connections were made at some point during the process and that the spider ended up with a great, working web.

The Spider Process doesn't work from A to B like the ant, it starts with a rough version and iterates on it over many drafts.

(And if you're not slapping your forehead yelling "of course!" right now, let me elaborate because this makes a MASSIVE, MASSIVE difference.)

Instead of fabricating your song as you go (which makes it easy to lose focus, lyrically and musically), you start with a rough draft.

Your goal is NOT to write and finish a section - it's to write the ENTIRE song, and quickly.

And if you think your song's not going to be good at that point: You're right! Your first draft is going to suck!

But that's the beauty of it: You can write something that sucks! And you know how to make something terrible better.

Think about it, what's more fun, what's easier: writing perfectionism... or making something bad a little better?

The Ant Process sets you up for failure because every single thing you write needs to be great. You don't move on until your section (your line, your sound) is perfect.

The Spider Process on the other hand sets you up for success because with your first draft, you're not trying to change the world. You're just trying to write something. You're having fun, you're fooling around.

The quality comes from rewriting your draft and iterating on your ideas. You're approaching perfection step by step instead of having to write something perfect right off the bat!

So when I write lyrics now, I don't write them from start to finish and line by line, I write a few words here, a few words there. A little for the verse, a little for the chorus, get an idea for the pre-chorus, then jump to the bridge, and so on... that's how a spider works: little by little, weaving that web, until it all comes together.

Here's another way to look at it that might help:

Don't think of your song as a blank page or a void where you have to create everything from scratch. Not only is it unhelpful, it's also not true.

Instead, think of writing as shaping a statue out of a giant block of marble. As Michelangelo said: “The sculpture is already complete within the marble block before I start my work. It is already there, I just have to chisel away the superfluous material.”

Fun fact: the word decide comes from latin "decidere", literally "to cut off". By writing down a line, by recording a riff, by picking a chord progression, you're getting rid of everything your song is NOT. You're cutting off your options. You're not "creating", you're deciding what your song is.

This is one of several basic principles that have shaped the process I use now, what I call the 24-Hour Song. I wrote my last album of 15 songs in 14 days (6 hour days), and it's the best music I've ever written. I wouldn't have been able to do that a few years ago (it used to take me MONTHS to finish a song).

If you want to be able to do this, too (maybe you're a dad like me or you have a full time job on the side), keep reading my emails. I'll show you how you can write your best songs at record speed, too.

Stay gefährlich,

Friedemann

Holistic Songwriting

[bisluthq]

I wouldn't put SLL nowhere near BTD. Like no way. If anything, it's the opposite to me. She spends the whole album trying to justify why she left and the Matty of it all, by throwing him and staining their relationship under the bus. She doesn't assume any share of blame for doing anything wrong. I was expecting or atleast wanting music in the vibes of happiness as in we had a good thing, it didn't work out so let me be mature and admit we both hurt each other. And because of the 7 year mention, I'm going to pretend that was actually the mature song we got about them. HDIE is a bit better than SLL to me in this regard, but still not exactly

I don't see any accountability in SLL. She blames him for their fallout and nowhere does she say maybe I did this and I shouldn't have. I like the song, but the whole time she's like poor me couldn't do anything else while you didn't do this and that and that. I'm still waiting for a self awareness song, where she does admit that it wasn't only Joe who commited mistakes in the relationship she did too. The whole album to me was the same premise of HI where she's basically I had to cheat cause you didn't love me enough. Well sucks to be you 🤷 and the thing is I bet that's what she would do, because she's that predictable

well yea because I think she genuinely thinks he DID make her cheat by not loving her enough lmao. My ex really hates the song tolerate it because of the line “I know my love should be celebrated” because she’s like “… but why tho???” And I do get that criticism of even that song. There’s a degree of sense of entitlement in a lot of Taylor’s songs like “I like/love you ergo you should like/love me back the way *I* want you to” which isn’t necessarily the most healthy way to look at things because people can’t necessarily feel the things you want them to or even if they feel them, they cannot always express them the way you want them to.

I think love languages are a bit of bullshit pop psychology when taken far because obviously we all want all of them lmao??? but that’s one thing where I do think there’s some truth to the bullshit in that the way we express affection isn’t always the stuff the other person wants/needs from us and we don’t always express ourselves in the way we want to have it expressed to us also.

Like my partner definitely appreciates Acts of Service most of all and it took me ages to realize that. But for him like the most romantic thing I can do is sort shit out in the house and go fill up the cars and make sure there’s food in the fridge and stuff. I’m kinda nihilistic and spur of the moment and also yk clinically depressed and that one shrink did say I have PDA so that’s probably the hardest way for me to express affection. Now that I know this about him, I do generally speaking try, but historically like idk what’s for dinner and I don’t know how much petrol’s in the car and I’ll cross those bridges if/when I get there and the joke is when we first started up I thought he also just genuinely didn’t give a fuck because I honestly don’t lol and we’re pretty similar personality wise. Turns out he does. We figured this out actually when I had flu one time and I was in bed all day and he went to the pharmacy without me asking him to and made a bunch of food and like brought me extra blankets all without me… asking for this shit. And I was like “dope” and carried on fucking around on my phone and a few days later he brought it up because it had genuinely upset him that he’d tried SO hard in the exact way he’d like me to try and I hadn’t even noticed. He spent that weekend, from his perspective, watching me tolerate it whereas I’d felt like *I* watched him tolerate it when I’d tried to gift him things for instance and he didn’t seem appreciative enough. Now tbf I don’t *want* many gifts either but that’s how I was expressing it and I’d repeatedly felt like he didn’t care enough about the effort I’d put in to buy him things or pay for things. I also felt like he wasn’t giving me any Words of Affirmation which is actually what I appreciate the most so I want to hear about how much I’m loved and how great I am a lot and he never said anything like that but not because he didn’t/doesn’t feel it - just because that’s not important to him. We figured THAT out because I wrote him this very pretty letter as an apology once that I worked really hard on and he actually explicitly said like “but these are just words - you can say you love me but it’s just words”. So we were both sitting back watching the other person tolerate it and feeling hard done by because of what essentially boiled down to lack of communication on both our parts. Cool realizations and have, along with therapy, improved things.

THAT is what I feel is missing in Taylor’s songs (including happiness even but that’s also because it’s not from her POV lol and she cannot for a minute relate I think) and why they feel so immature - there’s no real sense of “I really fucking tried to meet you where you needed me but it still unfortunately didn’t work out” ever. Her stance is “I am amazing and I’m trying so hard and FUCK YOU for not giving me what I want and no I’m not gonna tell you what that is because if you were my true soulmate you’d instinctively know” which like… isn’t how it works. And I think until Taylor comes to those realizations herself, she’s not going to write lyrics like that. Which is great for US because sometimes you just feel sad and mad and entitled to your disappointment and Taylor’s music makes you feel better in that moment but isn’t really the healthiest approach to take.

even BTD like she says she fucked up by dipping and she feels bad about that but it’s still, in a way, expecting him to just be like “no sweat, totally see what you did there” and doesn’t really leave that much room for what he’s feeling or thinking because she’s like “your guard is up and *I* know why” and no u actually don’t babe lol idk.

[anarmorofwords]

Hi! You're probably not going to like this ask, but before getting into it I'd just like to say that this isn't meant as Kamala hate or anything, and I don't really want to offend.

Having said that, wouldn't it make sense that we get to see how Kamala treated Anna after she came out? It's in all likelihood one of the things that's weighing on Anna the most.

Obviously Kamala had her valid reasons: her parents aren't as liberal as the Lightwoods, she believes (knows?) their love is conditional as she's adopted, she's not white and not being heterosexual could further any treatment she's suffered from being different... Her reasons have already been listed multiple times by multiple people. Kamala has the right to stay in the closet and fear coming out. And while that shouldn't be villianised, we can't forget that closeted people can harm those around them.

If Kamala had kept treating Anna like a good friend, rumour would've sparked, and even if it was denied, she'd have been harmed by merely associating with Anna. Especially with the life Anna began leading; she could have been labelled as one of Anna's 'conquests' by the Clave. That, as we've established, is detrimental for her safety.

But at the same time, it would create a breach between Anna and Kamala. And Anna had the right to be hurt by it and weary of it when Kamala said she wanted a relationship.

If we look at it from that perspective, Anna's actions (though inexcusable in how they treated Kamala --who was also at fault for not accepting a negative for four months) make sense. Kamala wasn't only a fling of a week*, but also the girl she lost her virginity with, who asked her to be her secret (until she married Charles, after which Anna's affections would be discarded), who hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna suffered from homophobic commentary, and who now wants a relationship hidden from most of the people that know her.

Kamala shouldn't be forced to come out; but the harm that can do to the women she may engage with is reflective of what happens nowadays. I can mostly think of examples with gay men, so my apologies in advance. But how many women have seen their marriages ruined by their husband having affairs with men?

Creating characters that reflect a toxic part of the 'hidden' LGBT community shouldn't be seen as hating or villinifying. Thomas isn't out and he isn't labelled a villain by the narrative --because his actions don't harm anyone. The hate Alastair gets in-universe is because of his past as a bully, not because he's gay. Matthew's not fully out and he isn't villianised --like Thomas, because the decisions he makes to keep his sexuality hidden don't impact anyone negatively.

I'll even go as far as saying that not even the narrative villianises characters like Kamala and Charles. If it were, they'd be seen more like Grace in Chain of Gold. We'd see how Kamala's actions are affecting Anna's in more ways than anger (that in itself put the fandom against Anna), and the characters would note so. We wouldn't see scenes were Cordelia empathised with Charles, nor Matthew said he loved him.

Be it as it may, Kamala and Charles represent ugly parts of being closeted that can naturally occur when someone is in their position. LGBT people are human. Humans, when put into very difficult situations (and Charles risks his career; Kamala her safety), can make decisions that harm those around them. Consequently, the people they're harming have a right to feel, well, harmed in whatever range of ways --this goes mostly for Alastair, and very partly for Anna, whose treatment of Kamala was horrible.

Readers need to understand what is pushing these 'villianised' characters to harm (again, mostly for Alastair) the more prominent characters and go beyond how they are instantly depicted. Because these are complex characters based on complex real people influenced by very ugly realities we will move on from someday, but sadly not yet.

By the way, Charles and Kamala's situations aren't that similar beyond the closeted thing, but I crammed them together because of a post I saw you reblog.

Please understand I'm not justifying Charles's actions; that I understand the pain he's put Alastair through, and know that he shouldn't ever be near Alastair. Nor am I trying to justify Anna's actions nor hate on Kamala.

I'll just finish my pointless rant by adding that I do think cc has sensitivity readers. I think she asked a gay man to go through tec (I don't know if he still revised her other books, though), and know she asked POC's input when writing someone for their culture. I don't know much beyond that, but I doubt who revises her stuff is up to her. Wouldn't that be something the publisher is responsible for (honest question)?

*I've also noticed people using the argument that they didn't know each other long enough for Anna to harbour such ugly emotions towards Kamala, but Kamala also remembered Anna pretty deeply and is 'in love' with her. I just wanted to say that considering cc writes (fantastical) romance where someone can ask a woman they met two months ago marriage, stressing over time spaces doesn't make much sense. Just my take.

hi!!

alright, where do I start? probably would be best with stating that while I can analyse Kamala's situation with what I know/see/read about racism and discrimination and reasonably apply things I've read/heard from PoC to the discussion, as well as try to be as sensitive about it as possible, I'm still a white woman, so not a person that's best qualified to talk about this.

that being said - if someone wants to add something to this conversation, you're obviously more than welcome to, and if there's something in my answer that you don't agree with or find in some way insensitive or offensive - please don't hesitate to call me out on that.

back to your points though: (this turned into a whole ass essay, so under the cut)

I don't think Anna shouldn't be able to reminiscent on Kamala's behaviour/reaction to her coming out, or be hurt by it. what bothers me is the way CC talks about it - I can't remember the exact phrasing, but the post where she mentioned this suggested something along the lines of "you'll see how Kamala sided with the Clave and didn't defend Anna after her coming out", therefore putting the blame on Kamala and completely disregarding the fact that Kamala wasn't in position to do much at all. It suggest that their situation was "poor Anna being mistreated by Kamala". therefore I'm afraid Kamanna's main problem/conflict will remain to be portrayed as "Anna having to allow themselves to love again and forgive Kamala", while Anna's shortcomings - and Kamala's vulnerable position - are never discussed. I think it would be possible to acknowledge both Kamala's difficult situation and the possible hurt her behaviour caused Anna without being insensitive towards Kamala's character, but it would take a really skilled - and caring - author to do both of the perspectives justice. CC would have to find a balance between being aware of the racism/prejudice Kamala faced/ writing her with lots of awareness and empathy, and still allowing her to make mistakes and acknowledging them. As it is however, I'm under impression that she's just treating it as a plot device, a relationship drama.

I'd say no one expects characters of color to be written as flawless or never making mistakes, it's mostly the way these mistakes are written and what things these characters are judged/shamed/

And that's - at least in my understanding and opinion - where the problem is. it's that the narrative never even addresses Anna's faults, and portrays Kamala as the one that caused all - or most of - the pain, without ever even acknowledging her problems and background.

White characters in TLH make mistakes and fuck up - because they're human and they're absolutely allowed to - but the thing is, non-white characters aren't afforded that privilege. Anna's behaviour is never questioned - none of it, shaming Kamala for not being able to come out, dismissing her desire to be a mother, or any of the questionable things she did in ChoI. Same with Matthew, James, Thomas. Alastair and Kamala however? they're constantly viewed through their past mistakes, and forced to apologize for them over and over, forced to almost beg for forgiveness. Moreover, those past mistakes are used as a justification of all and any shitty behaviour the other characters exhibit towards them now, which is simply unfair and cruel. They're held to a much higher standard.

So I'd like to say that yes, Kamala was in the wrong to keep nagging Anna after numerous rejections, and she was in the wrong to not inform Anna about Charles prior to them having sex - but that doesn't give Anna a free pass to constantly mistreat Kamala. And let's be real, Anna isn't stupid - while at 17 she could be naive and uninformed, I can't imagine how after years of hanging out with the Downworlders and numerous affairs and being out and judged by the Clave she's still so ignorant about Kamala's situation. I definitely think she's allowed to be hurt, but to still not understand why Kamala did what she did? Anna isn't blaming her for not telling her about Charles earlier - which would be fair - but instead for refusing to engage in an outright romance with her. She's being ignorant - and consciously so, I think.

Overall, I think you're definitely right about how coming out - or staying closeted - can be messy and hurt people in the process, especially in unaccepting environments/time periods, and I've seen enough discourse online to know there will never be a verdict/stance on this that will satisfy everyone. I, for one, would really like to refrain from putting all the blame on a single person - but, at least the way I see it, CC is pointing fingers. maybe not directly, but she is. Kamala, Alastair and Charles have no friends or support systems, and the only people in the narrative that defend them are themselves (ok, Cordelia does defend Alastair from Charles, but not from shitty takes about him and his "sins"). Also, sorry, but I don't like how you say "hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna experienced homophobic comments" - it sounds very much judgemental. Kamala had every right to do that? The fact that she slept with Anna doesn't means she owed her something, and certainly not coming out and most probably destroying her life, or even defending her at the - again - expense of her own reputation, or more possibly safety.

As for Charles - it's a different issue here, at least imo - I fear that it'll be implied that his refusing to come out will is his main "sin", and therefore not something he can be judged for, which ironically, will be villainizing, but mostly will mean his actual sins are dismissed. This is where the scene with Cordelia feeling a pang of sympathy for him comes into play, and it worries me. I've never hated Charles for not wanting to come out, but rather for, let's see - grooming Alastair, disregarding Alastair's needs and feelings, disrespecting his mother, being a sexist prick, being low-key far-right coded "make Shadowhunters great again" etc.

As for sensitivity readers - I'm no expert, so I don't think my input is worth much. From what I've gathered from multiple threads/discussions on twitter, tho it is probably consulted/approved by the publisher, many authors push for that - and authors less famous and "powerful" than her. I'm not a hater, but seeing fandoms' opinions on much of her rep, I think she could do better. Because if she does have sensitivity readers, then they don't seem to be doing a great job - maybe they're friends who don't wanna hurt her feelings? Or maybe she thinks a gay guy's feedback will be enough for any queer content - which, judging by the opinions I've seen from the fans, doesn't seem to be true.

Again, these are mostly my thoughts and I'm more than open to reading other opinions, because *sigh* I really don't know how to handle this.

Bottom line - I really really don't want to be hating on the characters in general, playing God in regards to judging the struggles of minorities, or even criticising the characters too harshly for being human, flawed etc. What my main issue is is how CC handles those complex and heavy topics.

I hope I make sense and this answer satisfies you somehow - I also hope someone better equipped to answer might wanna join this conversation.

* I desperately need a reread of TLH before I engage in any more conversations like this, but I didn't wanna leave you hanging. So yeah, I might be remembering things wrong. Again, let me know, I'm very much open to being corrected as well as to further discussion.

* I use she/her pronouns for Anna because that's what she uses in canon

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

(pt 1) i really enjoy all your atla analyses & you've done a great job breaking down the usual arguments re how eip shows that kataang shouldn't have happened. i'm curious about your take on one specific argument that i just saw today, in an analysis of the show by a zker that was otherwise quite good and respectful (i know you've already talked about eip a lot, so no problem if you don't feel like rehashing). the premise: aang didn't just pressure katara in eip, he threatened her.

(pt 2) they point to when katara joins aang & asks if he’s alright: “aang: no, i’m not! i hate this play! katara: i know it’s upsetting, but it sounds like you’re overreacting. aang: overreacting? if i hadn’t blocked my chakra, i’d probably be in the avatar state right now!” the suggestion is he’s threatening her when he says ‘i’d probably be in the avatar state right now’ to describe his anger. i think this take exaggerates and oversimplifies it, but interested in your thoughts on it.

Hello my friend!! It is true I am Old inside and don’t like rehashing dhdlksjslks BUT your comments on my posts are always incredibly kind and insightful so I am more than willing to do a bit of rehashing for you 🥰 Besides! I’ve seen this general take before a few times and it’s always irked me for the exact reason you point out - it simultaneously exaggerates and oversimplifies the situation (and honestly that’s an impressive duality since it’s seemingly contradictory, so hats off to them lmaooo) - and now is as good a time as any to address it. So, for starters, let’s go ahead and get the excerpt they love to focus on so much:

Cut to Aang standing alone on a balcony. Katara enters and walks up to him.

Katara: Are you all right?

Aang: [Angered.] No, I’m not! I hate this play! [Yanks his hat off and throws it on the ground.]

Katara: I know it’s upsetting, but it sounds like you’re overreacting.

Aang: Overreacting? If I hadn’t blocked my chakra, I’d probably be in the Avatar State right now!

Here’s the thing about so-called analyses of this excerpt: in a manner extremely convenient to the poster, they never seek to contextualize this moment. (I mean, to do so would deplatform their entire “argument” - perhaps that’s why they avoid performing a full analysis?) So let’s avoid that pitfall from the start.

Firstly, below are some links to related posts; I’m going to do my best to summarize the most relevant parts, but for anyone who desires greater detail, I gotchu 😤

This post explains why EIP (the play, lol) is imperialist propaganda and is intended to belittle the entire Gaang.

This post explains how Aang never acted “entitled” to Katara’s affections, particularly in regard to EIP.

This post breaks down the infamous EIP kiss like Snopes Fact Checker, covering common misconceptions, important perspectives to consider, etc.

Alright. With that out the way, it’s time for some context.

Aang and Katara have this conversation on the balcony after watching 95% of “The Boy in the Iceberg,” a play chock-full of Fire Nation propaganda that demeans the entire Gaang in order to prop up the Fire Nation as superior (hence why the play ends with Ozai’s victory). Here is my general breakdown of Aang and Katara’s treatment in particular from a previous post:

- katara, an indigenous woman, is highly sexualized and portrayed as overly dramatic and tearful, because the fire nation objectifies women not of their own people and views them as less intelligent and less emotionally stable

- aang, the avatar, the sole survivor of the fire nation’s genocide of the air nomads who is incredibly in-touch with his spirituality and femininity, is portrayed as an overly-airy and immature woman. the fire nation portrays him with a female actor to demean him (like, that’s classic imperialistic propagandist tactics) and furthermore writing his character as a childish airhead reinforces the fire nation sentiment that the air nomads were weak, foolish people who did not deserve to exist in their world

In other words, these kids have just watched almost an entire play that preys upon their insecurities and depicts them using racist and sexist stereotypes about their respective nations. It is completely understandable that tensions might run a little high and that their interactions would not be as balanced as usual (Katara and Aang have a great track record of communicating well with each other, as it happens!).

So we have to keep that in mind when examining the aforementioned excerpt. But there are other factors to consider, too! Namely: they are kids. Children. Teens. Aang is 12, Katara is 14.

If we want to be scientific, a person’s brain doesn’t finish developing until they are 25, lmao, and the preteen/teen years are when the prefrontal cortex that controls “rationality,” “judgement,” “forethought,” etc. is still developing. This doesn’t mean Aang and Katara are irrational and make poor decisions 24/7 (obviously not), but it does mean that in an intense, highly emotional situation, like after watching a play that intentionally demeans them and depicts them as inferior, they are more likely to overreact, more likely to be emotional, and more likely to make mistakes. Like, I’m serious, lol. “Teens process information with the amygdala.” That’s part of the brain that helps control emotions! It’s why teens sometimes struggle to articulate what we’re thinking, especially in situations that require instinct/impulse and quick decisions, because we’re really feeling whenever we make those choices. Acting more on emotion. Our brains simply haven’t finished developing the decision-making parts, lmao.

In sum: Aang and Katara are both kids, not adults, and should be interpreted as such. This doesn’t negate their intelligence, because they are both incredibly smart and Aang is arguably the wisest of the Gaang, but they are human. Young humans. They have emotions, and we should not be so cruel as to assume they’d never act on them.

So taking that all together, we can now acknowledge the high stress Aang and Katara are under, understand why they might be upset (*cough* imperialist propaganda is hurtful *cough*), and examine how their youth might play into their emotional reactions. And funny thing - all analyses that come to the conclusion of Aang “threatening” Katara here do not usually bother with this context. I can’t imagine why!

And you know what, let’s add one more piece of context: Sokka states that Aang left the theater “like, ten minutes ago,” which is what cues Katara to go look for him on the balcony. The reason I mention this line is because to me, it suggests Aang knew he was more worked up than usual! He chose to separate himself from his friends so he could process his frustration! He did not take his anger at the play out on them; instead, he purposefully took time and space to be alone.

With that in mind, I don’t understand at all how Aang’s Avatar state quote could be interpreted as a threat? Canonly, Aang is someone who was aware enough of his frustration to separate himself from the others - yet the logical next step is him threatening Katara as a result? He knew his intense emotions were because of the play (which he says himself), so the logical conclusion is that he then pinned the fault on Katara? What?? Sorry, that interpretation has no textual basis, lmao. But I digress!

Aang tells Katara, “If I hadn’t blocked my chakra, I’d probably be in the Avatar State right now!” As you said, this is the line people point to in an attempt to justify their (baseless) conclusion that Aang is “threatening” Katara. So let’s bring in the two key pieces of context: imperialist propaganda and age. Given that Aang is 12, and given that Aang has just watched almost a full play that demeans him and everything his people stood for (and let’s not forget it also mocks his and Katara’s love for each other)…

His reaction is understandable. An exaggeration and needlessly dramatic, but understandable. He feels vulnerable and insecure and Aang is human. He is human and flawed and he overreacts here and I love that A:TLA shows how even our heroes, even people who are truly good at heart and in soul, can get overly upset (especially given the aforementioned circumstances!). Would Aang actually be in the Avatar state at that moment, had it been possible? Of course not! He’s young and he’s hurt and as such he says something dramatic to convey his anxieties and frustrations. The line is not meant to be taken literally, and seeing people do so despite all the factors that should be taken into consideration when analyzing it… Cue a long, tired sigh from me and so many other A:TLA fans.

And to be honest? I cannot fathom how people watch this episode and come to the conclusion that Aang is “threatening” Katara. To me, this episode - besides being a recap episode - is one that humanizes our cast even further. Aang snaps at Katara, kisses her when he shouldn’t (which the story appropriately treats as wrong). Katara pushes down her true feelings and retreats into herself, afraid to start a relationship with the boy she loves because she’s already lost him once before and can’t bear to do so again. Zuko further confronts the hurt he’s enacted upon others, especially upon Iroh. Toph practices being vulnerable and accepting vulnerability from others by conversing with Zuko. Sokka witnesses how others have erased his contributions and labelled him as nothing more than the token nonbender in the group. Even Suki learns that she is not the only person who holds a place in Sokka’s heart and that she can never replace what he has lost.

To watch this episode where our heroes must come to terms with how the Fire Nation deems them inherently inferior, with how they have more fights to overcome in the future with the Fire Nation than a single war, and to come to the conclusion that… that what, Aang is abusive? A monster? Irredeemable? That he would threaten his best friend, someone he loves in every way?

Wow. That says more than enough about the viewer, doesn’t it?

[maoam]

You're not wrong on LoK. It's really bad. Have you ever posted about why you dislike it?

Not on this blog. But I can say some things at the top of my head:

1) The lack of respect for the lore and mythos of Avatar

Firstly they changed the origins of bending. The whole Vaatu/Rava thing felt more like Christianity with the good vs evil, which misses the point, because originally the story drew from Yin and Yang concept, which are supposed to be complementary opposites, not good and evil. What about complexity and balance? Who thought it was a good idea to turn everything into the same old good vs evil Jesus vs Satan figures? It simply doesn't fit.

The destruction of the past avatars was probably the worst thing in the whole show. They're supposed to be mentors who guide and give different perspectives to the current avatar. While atla took liberties with the buddhist lore, there was still consistency and basic respect, meanwhile Lok just does whatever it wants, because Korra is just so good she won't be needing her ancestors!

There's a lack of learning and inspecting different cultures and forming bonds with the members of said cultures that was one of the really good parts of Atla. Why is Korra being trained at her home instead of going on a journey and meeting the right type of trainer and forming a bond with them? I mean if I remember correctly they kept Korra isolated because of the Red Lotus but it's regardless a missed opportunity from the writers' part (and since Korra was supposed to be a mini-series, the Red Lotus excuse didn't even exist yet when they made her train like that). As the Avatar, who is supposed to protect the world, the Avatar should actually learn about the world. Korra should have have gotten to know more people and should have been challenged more by characters with different views.

I don't even have the energy to go into the americanization of everything.

2) The story lacking focus and meaningfulness

Unlike in Atla, where the whole show was building up to defeating the firelord and ending the long war, Lok had a different plot for every short season. The problem is that they do the same mistakes every season.

The badly written romance subplots, such as the love triangle between Korra, Mako and Asami and Bolin being abused by Eska for comic relief or Bolin himself harassing Ginger for comic relif not only distract from the plot during seasons 1 & 2, but are also obnoxious to watch. This was admittedly improved in season 3, when the romance was kept to a minimun and it was also much more tolerable, like between Kai and Jinora. And then they ended season 4 with Korra and Asami randomly going to the spirit world which was silly although not the worst thing in the season, but let's not pretend they had development for a good romance.

The other characters in the main gang are aimless a lot of time and don't have proper character arcs or even given interesting things to do. Bolin is mostly used for poor comic relief and he is basically Sokka with all the depth, growth, charm and actually being funny removed. Asami is mostly a love interest or someone to provide money or hang around Korra. Even her industry plot line was handed to other characters. Asami as a character is terribly treated by the writers and is never allowed to become her own character. Mako funnily enough becomes more likeable after his romance with Korra ends, but he is also not given a lot of interesting things to do.

Every sociopolitical problem is "solved" by a boss fight that Korra wins just because she has to, and nothing is learned. This is first seen in season 1 when after Amon's undeserved defeat the equalists apparently dismantle, which is never shown, just told to us, and the problems established in the start such as the bending crime gangs terrorizing non-bender citizens are just dropped.

The creators care more about showing dark, edgy scenes to shock the viewers like Zaheer suffocating the Earth queen or Korra being brutalized at every possible moment of the show instead of writing a good story, because they think doing so makes the show more mature than Atla.

There's so much to say, but to put it short it simply lacks the heart Atla had and you end up not caring. It's funny because they try to be "more mature" than Atla yet also try to ride on Atla's success, by making constant references to it.

3) The lack of growth from Korra

Korra's character is a hot mess. And it's consistently a mess throughout all 4 seasons. In season 1, she starts fine, nothing wrong with a hot-headed physical character, but it all starts going downhill quite quickly. First, she is more interested in sports than learning airbending, causes property damage, yells at her mentor for calling her out and never thinks she's wrong. Now this wouldn't be a problem if she actually went through meaningful growth. But does she?

By 2/3 to the season, she still hasn't learned or gotten even closer to learning airbending, she hasn't managed to do anything about the season's main threat, the equalists, nor has she grown even a little as a person. Everytime Korra is in some mess, someone else comes in to get her out of trouble, or there's a plot convenience, thus she is never forced to rethink her actions, because things always end up in her favor no matter how bad it gets, and there's no real consequences for any of her actions. The worst example of this is when she gets airbending out of nowhere, without any justification for it, just to beat up Amon. Then at the end Aang comes back to give Korra back her bending! Everything was handed out to her, airbending, beating up the bad guy, and her bending. She's even given the spiritual bending so she can return everyone's bendings, and everyone can pretend this was all thanks to Korra, and not because Aang literally handed out all this to her. She learns absolutely nothing and also seemingly does nothing about the gangs that were terrorizing the citizens or the other problems since all of these issues are dropped after the equalists dismantle off-screen.

In season 2, Korra is being incompetent again and trusts Unalaq and yells at everyone who disagrees with her. She helps Unalaq to take over her home and then gets knocked out for a few episodes. Then she turns into a giant and Jinora saves the day because civil war is naturally solved by magic powers and Godzilla fights. Because this show is more mature than Atla. Because defeating the big bad Unalaq is obviously going to remove every other problem. And what was Unalaq's goal again... 10 000 years of darkness or something... And needless to say the connection to the past avatars being destroyed is definitely the worst thing that happened in the whole show. And Korra isn't even shaken by it.

Season 3 is probably the most tolerable season but it still repeats the cycle of endless brutalization of Korra and Korra getting her ass kicked and having to be saved instead of trying to do a proper character arc. She literally gets kidnapped 3 times if I remember correctly and at the end Zaheer almost kills her but she ends in a wheelchair instead. And I still didn't see her learn or change. Why did they make a character who constantly ends up failing?

Season 4, Korra is literally supposedly battling ptsd because of Zaheer. In my opinion ptsd is treated horribly, Korra struggles with it for 3 years and in the end the solution is more like "yeah things suck but just get on with it". And the biggest problem is, Zaheer wasn't the worst thing to happen to Korra, she lost the connection to the previous avatars! That should be traumatizing! Imagine destroying thousands of years of ancestry that are connected to your very own self, and are supposed to be guides to the avatars coming after you as well. But Korra kind of just shrugs it all off. Oh and Korra spending half the season battling ptsd damages her supposed romance with Asami because they aren't given much time to interact. Just like season 1 could have used its time to actually make Korra learn airbending instead of doing probending sports or being part of a love triangle, season 4 could have developed her endgame romance to make it more believable. Or at least, tried to do something meaningful.

We could be here all day if we started to really dig into this show... but hopefully this answers the question at least somewhat.

[astroninaaa]

Hot take a talk about technoblade:

Okay look I've been part of this fandom since August(thank god cuz i watched it all live and it woukd be a nightmare to caatch up) I bring this up cuz i want to discuss my problem with technos character. I have watched every single techno livestream that he made on dream smp and believe it or not i used to be a techno sympathiser that is until doomsday. (By techno apologist standards i am qualified to talk about his character hooray..)

Now techno like every character is flawed if he wasn't he would be boring fandom. One of his biggest flaws is being a hypocrite. That is not something you realise until you compare what he says all the time so you need to look a little deeper to realise it and i don't blame people for not seeing it.

This wouldn't be that much of a problem because that is a character flaw among with many others but the problem that his character has faced is that he doesn't develop much.

Now i hear techno apologist jump at me every single time noooo he isn't a stagnant character he has developed a lot. I am not saying that he hasn't developed at all the problem is that he has developed very little especially when you consider everything.

His goals his ideas his perception of the world what he believes him everything that makes his character him hasn't changed much and that is not a good thing from a writing perspective. Now why do i bring this up. Firstly I'm not saying this to say techno is a bad writer far from it he can be very good when he puts his mind to it. The problem with keeping a character in this state is that it's very harmful for said character first and to the story and other characters second. Look even at yourselves i can guarantee that you aren't the exact same person you were like five years ago for example because during that time you made mistakes learned from them and you grew. Just like in real life you also can't stay stagnant in fiction.

Okay so that's the main problem with technos character that he is stagnant as a character. Now this wouldn't be as big of a problem if he didn't have the role that he has.

You see techno both c! and cc! are very good at the game basically. Now why do i bring this up. The reason why i bring this up is bc of where this places techno whuch is at the very top of the chain don't try and seny it. This means that he is one of the most powerful people on the server if you are going to try and go against this point just look at lmanberg guys that's living proof of how powerful and how terrifying he actually is. I know a lot of you are gonna say but every can get stacked or play the game but you guys forget that even if you are stacked you just don't have the skill and cc! Techno of the best people when it comes to that which bleeds into his character. Saying that is like looking at the upper class than looking at the lower class saying just get rich like it doesn't work like that.

Because of his role techno is literally the 1% by rl standards which means he can a lit of things free of consequences bc no one can give him said consequences. The butcher army was ig an attempt at that but they failed miserably let's be real here.

Because he is in the 1% is incredibly skilled at pvp and can do anything bc no one can challenge him this places him on a pedestal and creates a power imbalance a very big one at that.

And that leads to his biggest problem he has practically everything as said by Techno himself and is never challenged, but that's not an interesting character. An audience gets tired for a character that always wins or loses. Because if it happens repeatedly it just takes all the suspense oh he will win immediately. He will go and slaughter them problem solved. That's it every time. Something that techno himself confirmed is then when he has a problem he just stabs it (both of these were said during the egg stream).

And if you are going to bring the things he went through to say he's changed don't cuz as long as he doesn't act on it it means nothing. Like examples Red festival killed tubbo an ally. Traumatic experience right? This is a good moment to develop his character and give us more insight. What happens? Techno tries to dismiss it and shows us his anxiety and gives us insight on his character Great! Character development? Starting to question himself just a bit or any sign of that event having an effect on him? Nope! Why? Cuz he doesn't act on it instead he tries to hide the fact that ever happened and changes to a different topic bc there is no justification there and he knows it. Nov 16th c!technos pov he just got betrayed caused some damage wished death upon his former allies and left. Quite a dramatic scene. He feels betrayed time for some good old character development. Him thinking about himself and his actions. Reflecting on them. Great moment! Problem: literally everything that shows this is done off camera and now suddenly he's retired... Okay you know what fine it's alright he would probably expand upon and did a timeskip to explain the ling time he didn't stream. I see where it's comming from. The butcher army ge gets hunted down bc actions have consequences techno and you can't just run away like that not after doing that. Great point from the butcher army. Go give him some consequences his character needs it. And then he gets executed alright a bit too far but i guess that's how it goes in this server. Techno gets his life back immediately.. well that was a bit pointless but alright a cool scene for the animatic fair. Then he kills quackity.. the butcher army lost.. this.. what? But this was the moment of consequences... and quackity didn't get it back like techno the butcer aemy lost more than techno what? Moving along he teams up with tommy aannnd the 50 withers are up and ready of course you didn't fully retire what was i expecting. And now team up with tommy perfect way to learn about dream and give more insight on lmanberg and how dream is a tyrant and everything techno is supposed to stand against. The green festival tommy chooses tubbo over techno techno feels betrayed understandable.... and then he teams up with dream lmanberg is destroyed and the underdogs are beaten to the ground loose everything they ever worked for and are taught to be scared of the anarchists?!?!?!?!

Okay now hold up a sec I'll have to stop you right there. What. did. you. just. do. Cuz there is a limit to the amount of stuff you can let a character get away with. The line was crossed months ago this is not good at all.

Also what are yoi guys talking about consequences. Lives? All 3 home? Right there pets? The ones that died were the ones he brought expecting to not live he brought them there on purpose so they don't count. He is one of the most wealthy peoole on the server (no one beats ranboo lol) what did he exactly loose? Friendships? Was that all the hardships you guys have?

Lmanberg lost their home their lives their wealth their pets their friend everything they loved and lived for everything they stood for they lost a part of themselves in the end.

Look at the last 2 paragraphs and how imbalanced that is. How are you guys blind to this How?! And why did doomsday happen? Because the butcher army failed. And if anything techno proved them that they should have punished him harder with this.

So what was the lesson of doomsday?

That you shoukd obey the people on top and never go against them or you will loose everything you love.

Great lesson guys this is exactly the lesson the rich class and every single tyrant tried to teach society and this lesson is being told by the anarchist great job....

Do you see the problem now. This is the reason techno needs a consequence bc if he keeps going like this he will become a Mary Sue. And that is a horrible direction for a character that has a lot of potential. That potential is why i liked his character that much in the beginning but now it's almost non existent. Anyway I'll end this now cuz this went on for too long. That's basically my opinion on it feel free to share your thoughts.

okay. okay. i read this like three times bc. because look

i agree in some very specific points, but i disagree in very broad manners.

(this entire......... essay is all /rp and /nm!!!!)

anyways. send me hot takes!!!

i like c!techno. i personally think he's one of the most fun characters to watch because i enjoy the mess, the crazyness, the chaos of it all. watching doomsday through c!tommy's eyes was painful. watching doomsday through c!techno's eyes was just so fucking hilarious and exciting and fun. he's just a fun character to watch. he's just Funny. i am a fan. however

for starters: ctechno is, 100%, out of the park, an stagnant character. he has little to no development throughout the story. we see no changes in how he acts. that's not necessarily a bad thing, but considering the type of character he is, watching him develop (be it to an actually full-fledged villain or towards a redemption arc) would be ideal to keep him a character people can actually support.

i wouldn't say he's a hypocrite. c!techno has a very strict moral code and he follows it with no hesitation, with no doubts. the point is that his moral code is flawed and skewed. that doesn't make him a hypocrite, that makes him someone with bad morals.

calling c!techno "the 1%" is a stretch. for one- c!ranboo has as much resources, if not more, as c!techno does. he has dozens of totems, thousands of emeralds, and probably has one of the higher counts of diamond and netherite on the server. why is that never brought up? because it doesnt matter. c!foolish has so much gold and diamonds and netherite and just everything, really, and it's also never brought up/a reason for people to be afraid of him. the dream smp isn't a capitalist universe, there's no "1%". specially bc there's, like, i don't know, 20 players? that makes c!techno 1/20 OR 3/20 if we count c!ranboo and c!foolish. but that's not the point at all: the point is that ctechno is feared bc he's skilled and has a relevant personality, not bc he has resources. c!wilbur has no shit and he's still terrifying, there's no character willing to oppose him. not because of resources, but because of who he is. when c!techno first fled from l'manburg into "retirement" he had no shit either, it took him a while to be rich again. no one attacked him either way.

why, you ask? bc he fought against c!quackity with a fucking pickaxe and won. that's why. c!techno doesn't need resources to be feared. the power imbalance doesn't come from his resources, it comes from others’s fear. and they have a reason for that fear, bc c!techno hasn't been defeated yet. that has nothing to do with "upper class" and "lower class". because, one, not a capitalist system and class disparity isn't as simple as that, and two, even without his "riches" he still wins, bc he's got the skill. if you take out the skill, him being rich means nothing and he wouldve been easily killed by the butcher army or c!tommy or whoever decided to kill him. a good example is, once again, c!ranboo: if he wasn't friends with everyone and someone decided to actually fight him like was done with c!techno, he would've died. easily. being rich in the smp is relative.

c!techno will be challenged when we have a character strong enough to challenge him in a way that matters. it's important to be smart about it. that's why i'd love to see, out of everyone, c!philza turn against him, but that's a how other discussion (WHICH I'M WILLING TO TALK ABOUT.......... everytime i make these and i add little point i dont elaborate on and then say i'm willing to talk about them and no one ever asks me to <//3 PAIN /nm /lh).

i do think he's a character that just Always Win in narrative ways and that's very frustrating. he does need to get pulled a few notches down. again, that will only happen when we have a character that can step up to him and challenge him in a way that matters (woooo c!philza you want to hold c!techno accountable for his bullshit so bad woooo........)

now, onto c!techno's trauma. he doesn't need to show it. he- he doesn't. that's........ not how trauma works, and that's one of the points that make his trauma so forgettable for the viewers. c!techno is, from inside out, a character that hardly shows his emotions, but that doesn't mean he doesn't display symptons of trauma. he does, they're just a lot more subtle than other characters's. that doesn't mean he doesn't have any or that he isn't affect by it. c!techno is, in a lot of ways, a lot like c!tubbo: both of them don't mention the shit they've gone through and don't react to it and bc of that some of the viewers don't see how important some traumatic events were in their characterisation. that's why you analyse those characters's trauma through behavior, not through easily seen displays of trauma.

i do think it's taken a little too far with c!techno. the way he reacted to c!tommy's death was...... disappointing, to say the least. c!techno is an underwhelming character in many ways. as said before, it's because he's stagnant. that definitely needs to be worked on.

about the syndicate? yeah, no. theyre not teaching others to fear them. others just Do That bc of their history on the server, but they have literally talked about how they want to better their reputation, bc they don't want to be seen as murderers or oppressors in any way. are they flawed? yes, very much. they have no indicators of what is or isn't a government and they show no regard around the importance of a difference between an oppressive and a democratic government.

they had no right to show up at c!tubbo's door and interrogate him, because they can't appoint themselves as government police. for starters, that's not how anarchy works (they should've had everyone's permission for that. they obviously don't), but also it's just... stupid. it makes it seem that they're trying to boss everyone around so that they live like the syndicate wants them to, which goes directly against the syndicate's own ideals. however, c!techno thinks he has that right. he thinks this is what he's supposed to do. he's just following his moral code - his moral code is just deeply, deeply flawed. what he says and what he does contradict each other but not for him, not to his interpretation. to his interpretation, he's following his strict moral code.

what happened at doomsday was horrible and c!techno has to be held accountable for it, yes, but, again, no character knows how to work around c!techno enough to hold him accountable for it. that's not c!techno's fault.

l'manburg just deserved better, honestly, but to be fair c!techno has been taken advantage of time and time again (sometimes purposefully, sometimes not) and he's fucked up in the head, god bless LMAOOOOOOO

i agree that things need to change otherwise he's just gonna keep being a stagnant character who can get away with everything. i do think he has more to him than meets the eye, tho. meh idk that's still just analysis!!! we have no way of knowing the intent behind c!techno's characterisation, at least not for now. i hope for the best tho cc!techno don't let me down <3

[brandywine-tomatoes]

Joel Aron Fan Club Meeting - Dissecting the Lighting of 'Rescue on Ryloth'

Main Masterlist

Star Wars Masterlist

Get ready for a semi-cohesive rant disguised as a dissection on the lighting of Rescue on Ryloth, mainly just me fangirling over the man, the myth, the legend, Joel Aron.

If you don't know, Aron was the CG VFX and lighting supervisor for The Clone Wars, Rebels, and The Bad Batch, and holds the position of cinematography, lighting, and VFX director of Lucas Films.

He was also one of the frequent cryptic tweeters when TBB episodes were airing.

~ ~

Intro

So I went back to Rescue on Ryloth earlier today to find frames for the background of my laptop. I have to go through the episode second by second to get the right frames and I fell into a rabbit hole of examining individual shots could you tell I have adhd.

~ ~

NUMBER 1

We all know this scene as the one Hera calls for the help of TBB Leia Organa style.

First off, I absolutely love how Hera's projection isn't just all shadows, the light from whatever screen Chopper probably has out is reflecting on her face. The contrast between her left side verses her right is gorgeous and so effective in telling us she's somewhere dark, perhaps in hiding, which contributes to the storytelling as well.

As well, the minimal (but strong) light showing on her right lekku is much warmer than the cool lighting of the screen reflecting on her face, which also tells us she's somewhere dark but with access to natural light. Perhaps a cave?

Something not related to lighting, but this whole scene was beautifully framed. The natural leading lines of the ship console unconsciously guide our eyes to Hera, the subject of the scene. This is one of the main things my art teachers love to yell at my grade for: why don't you have any leading lines to draw attention to the subject?! It's free real estate! The design of the cockpit makes so much sense from a visual and storytelling standpoint which I appreciate a lot.

I go to an art high school, so we have enhanced programs that you have to audition for. I have a visual arts major (like uni majors and minors) that I auditioned for, so I get the highest level of arts education my school has to offer, unlike a visual arts minor or the general arts courses of the Canadian curriculum, so when I'm talking about my art teachers yelling at us about things, they fuckin yell cause they know we know better.

~ ~

NUMBER 2

A theme you'll start to see in this rant is that I'm a huge fuckin fan of harsh contrast. Dark darks, light lights, that kinda thing (Spoons, if you see this, 😎. If you know, you know). I incorporate it into my own art to make it more effective in the vibe I'm trying to convey.

Joel Aron's style is hard, hard contrast and accentuating natural outlines, he even confirmed that in an interview when talking about season 7 of TCW, and he's incredible at executing this! The small sections of light reaching Hera are making her character stand out even more against the background and grounds her even more in the space. Harsh black outlines usually used to make something stand out don't appear naturally, so finding other ways to naturally outline or highlight a character against the environment is a must, and Aron is so fuckin good at this, his style contributing tremendously to it as well.

Plus the light is much warmer than the shadows which I appreciate a lot. Natural sunlight is always going to come off in warm tones on any surface, so thank god this guy knows colours and basic lighting 🤣

~ ~

NUMBER 3

Again, just more amazing contrast and separating a subject from the surrounding environment using light.

As well, the 2 bottom images really resemble Crosshair in the second last episode when he's being all edgy and saying "Don't make the same mistake twice, don't become my enemy" and like- bruh, this man is fuckin typing up non-existent loose ends through the fucking lighting of all things doing better then the writers, but that's none of my business >kermit sipping tea meme<.

He also said somewhere that it was definitely his intention of lighting Crosshair much darker than the rest of the Batch to show his alignment with the Empire or some shit, so I don't know what he's doing here, but as a dark Omega fan, I approve 👀👀

~ ~

NUMBER 4

Even more beautiful contrast. Something my photography teacher also drilled into our heads is the triangle rule (at least that's what she called it), which is actually called rembrandt lighting. When you photograph portraits, you usually want a small triangle on the opposite side of the main light source to balance out the shadows or some shit.

But Aron didn't do that here. Remember, his style is much more dramatic and heightened. He used split lighting here, where half the subject's face is completely shadows and the other completely light, a demonstration of the stylistic choices he made for this show.

~ ~

NUMBER 5 (you made it to the end! Gold star to you bestie)

More cool and warm highlights being used, the warm coming from within the ship which is also positioned towards her friends and the planning of rescuing her parents which I find kinda cute and the cool light from space outside the windshield?, both beautifully outlining her face and kind of showing what she's fighting for: her family (warm light) and the freedom of space and the galaxy (cool light), but I'm totally reading into this, so take it with a grain of salt 🤣, he probably didn't mean anything by that.

~ ~

END

So yeah, that's my rant on the lighting of Rescue on Ryloth.

Hey, you know what's a good idea, if you want me to dissect a specific scene or episode of any series/movie in Star Wars based on an art student's perspective and 'expertise', just ask! I love talking about Star Wars and art techniques, plus I'd get to use my schooling for something useful.

There'll definitely be more of these as I go through the episodes to find more backgrounds, but if you ask for a certain episode, I'll definitely get to that ep. first!

[sydnikov]

i think you missing the second period really affects your judgement on the game (no hate my love i literally am obsessed w you) but we had a 5 minute penalty major called against lomberg when it shouldnt have been called. It was such a horrible call that even canes fans and nhl fans all over twitter were upset with the call. Ryan Lomberg and Antti Raanta collided and left Raanta hurt (i was so worried for him) and Lomberg got a 5 miniute major conduct and a game. The only issue with the call is that the goalie was so far out into the ice that Lomberg didnt have enough time to stop and get out of the way, ver rarely do you see a goalie that far out. If you watch the play you can see Deangelo warning Lonberg and Lomberg trying to move out of the way but it had been far too late. Since the goalie was so far out, at that point it is not Lomberg’s fault and fair game. I truly hope Raanta is good tho🥲. That call was horrible tho and we were on the power play 5 minutes which led to a goal from you guys. That being said, the panthers were actually playing pretty sloppy in the third (i wont blame the second period on them), but their great start really helped them pull thru with the win. I know yall were missing pesce and nino, but we had lost our best player and captain Aleksander Barkov and our stud goalie Bobrovsky. Losing your goalie and captain can be scary, but they still fought through. I love watching carolina play, but it seems as if Freddie wasnt at his best yesterday. Panthers goalie could have been better too, but hes only 20 years old so hes simply just learning. Both these teams are strong and have amazing front lines, but overall I think the panthers defense and offense were just slightly better. Ik this bc canes twitter was attack the panthers for their only con, which is fan attendance 🥲. That being said there was a lot of efforts from the boys, but I do think the panthers have had a harder schedule so they were used to really good teams and had the chance to fix the problems on their team. I believe the canes will learn from this and come back stronger, like the panthers did after the OTL against the bruins. Loved watching TT, Aho and Svech try their hardest last night. Ironically for some reason the best cane against the panthers is former panthers vinny trocheck 🥲 but its still ALL love for him here. Cant wait to see these guys play again bc Im sure the Canes will step up their game, and Id love to see them play against Barkov and Bobrovsky. BTW if you love the finns I promise you Barkov is a great guy to follow... he is literally so adorable🥺

Yeah that's why I told the anon I'm probably not the best person to discuss about the game with LOL but, while I do also agree with a majority of what you said, you have also only brought up the argument of five minute penalty on the panthers as "the refs favoring the canes". I didn't see the play live, but from what I have seen of players charging goalies, there's mostly always a way to avoid injuring them even if they do go way out of the crease. I just watched the play, and while yes I can see DeAngelo warning him and Lomberg trying to stop, at the end of the day it's still charging. I personally think Lomberg should've been paying more attention, but considering this seems to happen a lot when goalies exit the crease I just don't know. I agree with the five minute major, but I don't think he deserved to be ejected from the game either because injuring Raanta was a complete mistake on Lomberg's part, nowhere do I blame him for that.

In all honesty though, it's just about perspective. Bias plays a lot into how we view games or certain plays, and it's no different for the game last night. The Panthers were the better team (that much was very obvious and nowhere am I saying that we were better), and I do applaud them for that considering they were missing some key players, but, and I'll say this again, it will always be in my opinion that they had a lot of help from the refs. You and the other anon have only brought up the five minute major to argue for unfairness versus the four separate penalties called on us in the first period alone, one on Slavin of all players not even a minute into the game.

Thanks for this lovely debate though, I truly do enjoy them!! But in this case I think we'll just have to agree to disagree, because it's only in human nature to see what we want to see and in this case, I saw very biased refs trying to get us to lose and my mind can't be changed in that, as with you pointing out the unfairness of the five minute major.

I'm also looking forward to seeing them match up again with a (hopefully) full & healthy team, and I might just have to check out Barkov now that you mention it... I do love myself some finns

[bbnibini]

PSISLY PROGRESS/AN OPEN LETTER TO OBEY ME WRITERS AND CONTENT CREATORS

Tldr; I reflect upon the alleged plagiarism incident of last year after finding out one of my close friends also experienced the same, if not worse. I tried to keep true of my own words before and focused on the positive things and left the negative things (of the whole ordeal) behind. This is my attempt to do that (after also), realising PSISLY is almost over after Barbs' route will be out.

To new readers of H2/PSISLY, the story gets very confusing sometimes because of all the references (I placed a lot...so much to the point where even if I wrote it down in my notes, I sometimes get confused myself lol. References that probably won't make any sense until I finish H5 lol;;), but hopefully with rereading some parts (especially involving a certain someone), they would be appreciated. I had some beta friends comment about how some of the references are easy to miss so upon editing, and made them more obvious. Hopefully, it had reflected on the revisions!

Okay, with that segue out of the way, I have some announcements I want to make (loooong overdue announcements).

There's a bit of an update regarding the alleged idea thief I had an encounter with last year. This is not an intent to bring up the issue again, but to share what I have learned from this experience.

Short explanation= The alleged person had deactivated their tumblr account now, which contained their Mammon x Reader series where they copied scenes and paraphrased lines from PSISLY. I wanted to express my thoughts about the aftermath of the aftermath.

LONGER VERSION:

In lieu of what occured, I attempted to report their Mammon x Reader series to tumblr's DMCA, but because of privacy concerns due to PSISLY being in another platform around that time (AO3), I found out that my real name and other personal information will be exposed to that person if I moved forward with my report. In the end, I decided to do the second best thing and crosspost my works here instead. I had a choice to report their works after crossposting(which I had considered) but due to my busy work schedule, I didn't have time for anything else. Frankly, I was just super drained at the time and wanted things to end so I can focus on other things, so I set it aside plenty of times until I've reached the point where I find out their tumblr account had already been deleted (possibly of their own free will).

I still stand by my stance of honouring that person's privacy despite all of the things that happened between us. I loathed the implicated actions and not the individual. I was disgusted by the thought of how, if proven true, they took a lot of credit from my ideas through their fics, and possibly exploited the fact that my works are inaccessible to many due to my series' gimmicks, but does that make them any less of a person? No. Up until now, I still don't know what actually happened and will probably not know anymore. What I do know is that we're human and we are prone to make mistakes. I understand their behaviour towards me isn't correlative of their whole identity, but I still ultimately decided that any further interactions between us would only make the situation worse so I cut ties with them.

Still, I'm thankful that their alleged works are now removed from this website. To that person, thank you. If you were the one who deleted your work(s) with your own initiative, thank you. It had been long overdue, but I am grateful that you have finally acknowledged my discomforts and decided to see things in my perspective. I also want to thank you for making me realise that despite my crippling low self-esteem, I am a writer. I meant it when I said that I am rooting for your own writing endeavours. I just wished things didn't have to end this way.

And to other writers and content creators out there, if you ever find yourself (I wish you wouldn't) in a similar situation, please know that you are the best judge of your own works. If you suspect your works are already being compromised, please confront the other person as an individual---do not dehumanise them into a singular trait due to your own bad experiences. Seek to understand. Talk to them privately and try to settle the issue between yourselves.

Why have I brought this up again? Because I randomly thought of them today and thought "I wonder how they're doing", and saw their account is already gone (as what I have stated earlier). Even if we parted in not very friendly terms, I still genuinely wish they would do better for themselves, and possibly learn something from what happened like I did.

Second other reason is because I have recently learned that my good friend @lexsssu had been allegedly plagiarised for the third time and saw how the incident had taken a toll on her drive to write. Despite how sad and discouraged she had become after her own experience(stagnating her writing progress for a long time), she is now seeking to heal and continue her passions---I wish to learn from her example.

I believe if you truly love something, you would continue to love doing it despite the hardships it will entail. I realise I'm rambling and I'm probably not making any sense right now(I had an all nighter fricking around in the wonderland portion of the Windblume event in Genshin Asia with a friend soz), but I hope if you did manage to get this far, I wish you learned something from my own experiences and ramblings.

PSISLY is still going strong and will soon reach its conclusion (spoiler: Barbs' route is actually the last part I have to outline since the remaining ones were mostly written last year) . I'm not the best, nor the easiest writer to follow (in terms of plot coherence ha ha ;;), but I am still a writer. And I enjoy writing and will continue to do so.

Have a blessed day, everyone! Wish me luck on the outline! 👋

[estrxlar]

The Ghost Of You

01 - You’re Familiar

This chapters songs:

Daughter Of A Cop; TV Girl

I Hope To Be Around; Men I Trust

Weird Fishes/Arpeggi; Radiohead

—

— Y. L. Perspective

My breath got louder and louder each second I ran. With my bento box hitting my hips, bag tossing around, and my skirt flying up, there was no way things could get any worse.

But luckily just around the corner, I spotted students climbing onto it, which made my feet run even faster.

Near late on my first day? Damn, Y/n, way to start your year.

   Just then, I heard the sharp hiss of the engine, sending me faster towards the vehicle than I had been pacing myself before. But still, the driver was ignorant, obviously not caring how much I needed this. It wasn't like my parents would take me anyways.

"WAIT..! PLEASE WAIT!" I started on the side of the bus, running side to side with the wheels. After a few seconds of loud disruption, it finally stopped. The break was hard, and students inside were heard making remarks of protest.

Sure, I felt bad for the people who had to get a brake check, but I on the other hand was completely out of breath and near dead. Couldn't they spare me?

"I'm, I'm so.. I'm so sorry I.." My breath is short, and loud while I breathe in and out, trying my best to try and explain my tardiness to the driver. He simply sighs, gesturing for me to seat myself already.

While I stumbled down the aisle, I received a few weird glances from fellow students. Some familiar and some new. I couldn't tell if it was because of my reputation, or because I looked like a hot mess. Either way, it was too early in the morning for one to give a damn. And so, I seat myself next to another student, finally resting from the marathon I had just run.

I sighed, rolling my head back, and placed my fingers on my temples. 'I probably look like a mess right now.' I thought, letting out a huge sigh. Once I sat my fingers back down onto my lap, I observed more of the people I was surrounded by.

Some third years I was familiar with, a few that wouldn't dare speak to me, and some that were strangers. Other second and first years I didn't know at all; throughout high school, I thought it'd be best to stay hidden and introverted, especially if I were to become popular in the music industry. Lots of young stars still went to school, and usually got dirt easily thrown onto their title and that's exactly what I would avoid this year.

Bringing me back to reality, I capture a peek coming from the boy I was seated next to. He had fluffy gray hair and seemed just as tired as me. But the bus was so dark, I couldn't completely make out his features.

"Something wrong?" I said to him.

He jumped a little, adjusting his eyes back down to his phone. "S-sorry, I didn't mean to stare. I just- I think I know you from somewhere."

"Lots of people know me, buddy—" I lifted my head, facing him. 'Hey, this guy does pretty familiar. But there's no way I'd forget a face like his. Then again, I have the memory of an 80-year-old woman.' I think to myself, examining his features in an awkward mood.

"Wow, it is you. (Y/n), it's been quite a while!" He smiled widely, reaching a hand out to me. I only froze, too confused to comprehend the situation. "You have no idea how glad I am to see you're doing well!"

"I-Im sorry?" I question, wondering why a stranger would confront me this way. But something was off— I knew him, I just couldn't remember where from. Maybe from previous classes, or from a concert?

He turns slightly, growing a smile on his pale face. "I was trying to figure out if it was you or not, but it is! It's great to see you're better. How are you?"

"Who are you?" I ask back, a bit frightened.

"Uhm, well, I sat next to you in math class during my first year. Remember? I was a little ditzy, kind of annoying, I never shut up about volleyball..?" He asks, hoping to get a hint of nostalgia. "Come on, you've gotta recognize me, right?"

"Wait, Sugawara!" My finger jumps out, pointing to his sitting figure. "I'm sorry I couldn't recognize you! It sure has been quite a while. But I definitely remember you, now! You were one of the people who talked to me during my first year.. thanks for that. Anyways, how've you been?"

"I think that's my line, L/n." Suga pats my shoulder, then places his hand onto his lap. "You've changed so much! I've gotta know how you're doing!"

"I-I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing in your perspective, but thanks anyway. I've been doing just fine." I explain before a yawn escapes my mouth. Sure, this conversation was energetic, but I certainly wasn't.

"Again, so very sorry for being so forgetful. I don't remember much from first year, especially not anything in math, but I sure do recognize you now." I say, hoping my rudeness from before wouldn't have any effect on how he viewed me. Not that I cared, of course.

Luckily, Sugawara was forgiving that day. With a wide grin, he replies, "No need to apologize. People change drastically during high school; we're no exceptions. Although, I would've enjoyed being mutuals with you throughout most of it! I wonder why I haven't seen you around until today... I believe the last time we had talked was around the last day of first year."

"Yeah, we didn't have any classes together. If we had, I'm sure we would have stirred up a discussion. You seem very kind. " I gently smile, rubbing the nape of my neck. I tend to forget any bad memories, and the beginning of high school sure was a fat one.

"What a shame, you too seem wonderful.." He comments, gazing towards me for a split second, before reverting his focus. "A-anyways, it's a bit of a surprise I saw you here. Have you always ridden the bus? I usually take it in the mornings as well."

"I've actually just moved into this neighborhood. My parents work more hours than ever, so they decided it's best if I'm closer to school so that I can get to school and back quickly." I explain, tapping the sage green bento in my lap, before setting it on my side.

Sugawara nods, understanding the circumstances. "That makes sense. I'm sure you'll enjoy it now that you've got a friend in the neighborhood. Although, a girl like you must be quite familiar, right?"

'Is that intended to be disrespectful, or am I just tripping?' I think to myself, asking him to spell out the meaning of that remark. "I'm sorry, what? A girl like me?"

"Oh, crap! I didn't mean that to sound rude— I meant because of your band! I understand you guys are the talk around school, considering you're getting pretty popular in the field."

A sigh of relief leaves my lips, preparatory to my correction. "Oh, my band. I'm not sure I necessarily make friends, more like connections and acquaintances. Only a couple of students know about the band, and usually just the down-low ones. But enough about me, what about you, hm? I assume still volleyball obsessed."

I had obviously steered in the wrong direction with our conversation, for Suga's aura quickly altered at the mention of the sport. "Eh, I'm not as excited about it as I used to be." He says, along with a hint of dissatisfaction in his raspy voice.

"No way. What happened to cheerful Sugawara who asked me, the lamest, to join the girls' team?" I ask, hoping a bit of that childish personality was still inside the older version of Suga. The one which was taller, more masculine, more of a man than before.

"Honestly, can't tell you. 'Teams has been a mess ever since I've joined." He leans back in his seat, stretching his arms out, before placing them around his neck from behind. "We're hanging on my a very thin thread."

"Dang, that really sucks. You never know, things can always turn out better." I say, doing as he did, and resting against the leather seats.

"Yeah, of course. I guess it's pretty hard to keep going after so many fails, haha." A sad chuckle leaves his mouth, as he sighs.

"Anyway, nice talking. I'm outta take a quick power nap; I barely got sleep last night. Mind waking me up when we get to school?"

"Yeah, of course," Sugawara replies. With that, I'm left with laying music in my ears like always, and nodded off to slumber.

—

"Hey, sleepyhead. We're at school," I hear someone say, feeling a tap of a cold finger on my nose. Almost immediately, I shoot up from my position, standing directly above Sugawara while students leave the bus with their bags, having loud discussions of excitement. Was there anything more embarrassing than falling asleep on someone who ghosted you as a friend?

"Dear God, I'm terribly sorry." I panic, brushing down my blue skirt. "That happens on rides, it was a mistake."

"Oh, it's no big deal! Don't worry—" Suga chuckles, standing up from sitting. But before I could let him talk anymore, I started making my way towards the exit of the bus.

"Uhm, I've gotta go! Great talking, though. I'll catch you later, have a good day," I mumble, before frantically leaving the vehicle. 'What a morning.'

— K. S. Perspective

Before I could grant Y/n a polite goodbye, she'd disappeared in just a few seconds. But even so, the measly to,e I'd discussed with her was quite enjoyable. I couldn't believe how much she'd changed.

Long ago, the beginning of high school, Y/n was the type of girl you could barely see, as if she were invisible. I think the only reason I ever even noticed her was because we were seated next to each other in math class, and she immediately caught my attention. But thank goodness I had at least tried making an effort to talk to her, or else we wouldn't have had our conversation this morning. But it wasn't her fault she was so gloomy; supposedly she had lost someone close to her the year before.

Although our talk was brief, it still meant a lot to me. Especially since I was informed that she was finally happy. Looking down at the seat she used, there was a small box with a handle at the top, and a few anime stickers covering it.

'Is this what was making that loud tapping noise on the way here?' I asked myself, examining the box more. Small initials marked 'Y.L.' We're at the bottom, informing me it was Y/n's. At first, I considered handing it to our bus driver, but for the few years I've known him I learned he doesn't return lost things. And so, I leave the bus with it in my hands, ready to start my morning.

"Suga!" I hear a familiar voice call out to me. Looking up, I see my friend, Daichi, and another fellow behind him, Tanaka. The two of them jog towards me, with their scarfs unfolding in the wind. Both I had met in volleyball, and they've been my buddies ever since.

"Hey, Sugawara!" Tanaka exclaims, roughly slapping my back. The bento tosses in my hands, thankfully not spilling onto the floor. Unfortunately, he notices the box and snatches it right out of my hold. "Wow, feeling a bit girly, are we?"

I laugh in response, quickly taking it back. "It's not mine, it belongs to the person who sat next to me today. Hopefully, if I see her again I can give return it."

"Hopefully?" Daichi teases, as we all begin our walk towards the school doors. "Do you know her name?"

"Yeah, her name's Y/n. Know her?"

He lights up at the mention of their name, replying "Oh, I know her! That girl you never shut up about I in first year, correct?"

"Ha, yeah."

Tanaka doesn't understand, digging deeper into the situation. "What?! I've never known good ole' Suga to genuinely have feelings for a girl, unless it was some fling."

"I don't! I used to. There's a difference." I say, as we enter the building.

"If she rides your bus, then why don't you just give it to the driver? She'll probably go looking for it later at the end of the day. That is unless you wanna see her again.." Daichi teases me.

"You see, I would. But the bus driver is sort of a thief, and this girl has had a rough morning as it is. I just wanna be nice." I explain to him. Though a part of me did want to see her again and hope that we could talk longer than we did before.

"Sure you do," Tanaka says, patting our backs. "Listen, this is my stop. I'll catch you guys at practice?"

"Sure thing, bye." We say our farewells, and make our way towards the third-year halls. "What about you, Daichi? Got anything exciting happening this hour?"

"If stressing about volleyball counts, then yes! Most definitely.." He says, clearing his throat. "Watch, like, two people show up."

"Actually, Kiyoko informed us in the group chat that we've got at least four! That's better than last year, right?" I try my best to cheer him up, but it only made him even more nervous. I couldn't blame him. Too much was even more of a burden, but too little was a disappointment and would leave us exactly where we left off.

"It's okay, Suga. I have a lot of faith in our team. I know it's been rough lately, but as long as we try our best, we'll work this out." Daichi smiles, turning towards a separate hallway than mine. "I'm off to homeroom. See you later!"

"Yeah, see ya!" I'm left by myself, giving me more time to focus on what should happen today. - 1st, I have to go through each class and say hi to a couple of familiars, and hopefully not see anyone I've had a conflict with.

- 2nd, I had to give Y/ns bento back to them, but that could only happen if we happened to have a class with each other before, or if we had the same lunch.

- 3rd, volleyball tryouts were this afternoon. I had to make sure and represent myself as a role model, and make it clear I was vice-captain. I wanted nothing more than for the new players to feel safe.

But internally, I knew none of those plans would work out. Especially if I wasn't focused on them. Currently, all I could think about was Y/n, and how refreshing it felt to be around her again. When I was first around her was at the same time when things in my life started to fall apart, and my little crush on her made me feel better about it all. I guess you could say she was my comfort corner, even if she talked to me only once or twice during the week. And sometimes on her bad days, I would be able to at least get a laugh out of her, even if it meant making a complete fool out of myself.

All I wanted was for her not to harm herself or feel lonely, which took a quick turn towards me once the year had ended. Not only had my thing for her end, but my family soon fell apart after my mother had passed away. Of course, I still had my responsibilities like volleyball club and helping my younger sister and my father get through it. But it seemed that everyone would do their own thing, so I did the same. And for a while, I was lonely and didn't cope with the loss very well. Just like Y/n, I distanced myself.

This went on throughout my entire second year of high school, while she on the other hand started to get her life together. She started her band, made and covered a couple of songs, and finally healed from her hard year. Honestly, I didn't even really believe that she was in such a good state, but I was proven wrong today. Ultimately, she truly inspired me to pick myself up and start fresh. And now that she popped up so suddenly, I was back to square one.

'It's been a while, Y/n'

—

HEYYY SHAWTYYYS.

Give me notes.

SO, I've finally rewritten the first chapter of my fanfiction!! It took a while, but I did it. If you didn't know, I started this story about eight months ago, and I had no writing experience. Now that I'm reaching the climax of this story, I decided I should edit the chapter, especially since they sucked ass! Nothing much was changed, just far more detailing and extra feelings.

Overall, thanks so much for reading the first chapter. Please vote if you enjoyed it!! It helps others know that it's worth reading. And if not, no worries. Thanks anyways. I love you all so much!

- your friendly Suga simp

[oumakokichi]

Do you think Tsumugi was anywhere near as smart as Ouma or did she just have the advantage of blindsiding him? Even in his final moments, he didn't seem to suspect her any more than any of the others. Atleast that we get to see.

Someone asked me a somewhat similar question awhile back andput it in really good terms. I don’t remember the exact phrasing, but it wassomething about how if Ouma is a chessmaster (and I do think he is, given allthe evidence), then Tsumugi is an opportunist. I still think they really nailedit: opportunist is a perfect word forher.

If I had to compare how smart they both are in terms of justintellect? Ouma would probably be smarter. Considering he definitely seems tohave some variation of SHSL Analysis, his predictive and analytical abilitynearly rival Junko’s and Kamukura’s. Even taking into account the fact that hereally is genuinely childish and even klutzy sometimes, he still seems… well,like a genius.

Looking objectively at his 300-or-so page script which hadmulti-branching routes, predicted nearly all of his classmates’ behavior to aT, and was written in the span of 2 hours, he wasn’t “just smart.” That sort ofthing wouldn’t be possible for anyone unless they had some kind of talent orability that correlated to it directly. There are also the diagrams in hisroom, which he commissioned Miu to make. While Miu’s ability to actually inventthem is more than impressive, Ouma seems to be the one who actually thoughtthem up and designed them, which is absolutely astounding.

Assuming that he was a genius of some kind also explains whysometimes he seems like he has to rewind himself and put himself a few stepsback, like in Chapter 4 when he literally can’t understand why they’d think he’sthe culprit. The answer is clear to him, since he already knows the full factsabout the case, and everyone else’s remarks must’ve felt like the trial wasjust dragging on so slowly. When you’re haughty and self-confident like Ouma,feeling like the smartest person in the room means everyone else seems to begoing so slow. Sometimes he reallydoes seem taken aback before he manages to backtrack a bit and look at the casefrom their perspective, even though they’re all still stuck on the wronganswer.

By contrast, Tsumugi doesn’t seem to have these nearlysuperhuman abilities. She’s smart—verysmart, actually. But her smarts still feel within the realm of humanpossibilities, rather than her being on an entirely different level from anyoneelse. If I had to think of a character who she’s probably equal with in termsof intellect, Komaeda might be a good choice (it’s kind of hilarious that oneof her FTEs has her specifically hating on people who use fictional charactersas “stepping stones” to get famous). Both of them are incredibly smart,arguably smarter than a lot of the rest of their classmates. But they’re stillultimately human, and circumstances can and do catch them off guard prettyregularly.

Komaeda simply allows his luck to make up for the holes inhis plans, while Tsumugi doesn’t try to cover the holes in the first place. Asan opportunist, she’s capable of rewriting entirely new scenarios, or claimingcredit for things that she never actually planned in the first place. Thisallows both of them to take chances and risks in a way that characters likeOuma, Junko, and Kamukura rarely do. The former are genuine risk-takers whoknow they’re smart enough to handle themselves in the long run. The latter(particularly Ouma and Junko) might act as if they take risks, but very rarelydo. Instead they leave as little to chance as possible, relying instead ontheir own huge brains and analytical abilities.

As you said, Tsumugi’s best and strongest advantage oversomeone like Ouma was her ability to blindside him at all. And make no mistake,this ability to fly under the radar is something she’s very well aware of, justas Komaeda is aware of his own luck and the fact that it’ll typically makethings swing in his favor. She mentions it outright in her FTEs, citing exampleslike hopping a subway or going to the movies without paying for it because noone would notice her anyway. It’s no coincidence that she talks about how plain(地味)she is almost once per line of dialogue: if anything, she wants to drill intopeople’s heads exactly how unnoticeable and boring she is so that they won’treally pay her much mind.

This plainness of hers works really, really well againstsomeone like Ouma. Ouma is an intentional subversion of Junko in many ways, butit’s true that they still share certain parallels—including their need for thespotlight. Ouma wants things to be “fun” and “interesting” and “exiting” at alltimes. He hates boredom (yet another thing he has in common with characters whohave SHSL Analysis). Therefore, he tries to avoid it at all costs. Someone likeTsumugi who seems to be the embodiment ofboredom just put him off entirely. I’m not even entirely sure if he consciouslydismissed the idea that she was the ringleader, or if it was more of asubconscious aversion.

Either way, I think he was unable to close in on herspecifically because he, to some degree, was using chessboard thinking.Chessboard thinking is a type of game theory in which you try to predict youropponent’s next move(s) by putting yourself in their shoes. It has itsadvantages, but obviously it only works best if you can actually predict youropponent. Otherwise you make mistaken assumptions. And you’re always going tobe somewhat biased, as you’re thinking with your own logic, rather than theirs.

By thinking “what would I do if I were the ringleader?” Oumamade the mistake of thinking that the ringleader would act like himself. He fitthe role of “evil villain” so perfectly because he was playing a part, and heexpected the real ringleader to mostly act the same—but that assumption waswrong from the beginning. He and Tsumugi were on completely differentwavelengths the whole time, and he never, I think, predicted that theringleader could be someone so… absolutely boring.

Something I’ve always felt is ironic is that I think Oumaprobably could’ve predicted a mastermind like Junko far better than he could aringleader like Tsumugi. Kirigiri did it before him, after all, and he andKirigiri are more than paralleled on several occasions. His and Junko’s similarmindsets would make them a formidable match against each other (though it’sanyone’s guess who would actually win a debate between them, since Junko hasabsolutely no conscience while Ouma is deeply empathetic). But since he wassearching for Tsumugi all the time, he wasn’t ever able to realize what wasright in front of his face.

This really did allow her to blindside him completely, as heremarks bitterly in his talk with Momota in Chapter 5 once he’s explaining hisplan. He realizes quickly that the ringleader must’ve manipulated Maki as apawn into kickstarting the killing game into action again, but has no idea how they actually did so. Because heshut himself up in the machinery bay with no way to maneuver around the schoolor investigate for himself, he allowed holes in his defenses for the firsttime, and Tsumugi took advantage of it spectacularly.

She might not be a genius herself, but she’s plenty cunningand quick on her feet. Her ability to revise her own scenarios, and to makethese huge, sweeping claims for things with no way to prove that she didn’tactually do them, means that she can seem a lot more capable than she actuallyis. Even when she’s clearly human and fallible, and when things definitely don’tgo according to her plan (such as when Saihara stops wearing his hat, when sherealizes Momota was sick in Chapter 5, etc.) she can bounce back quick enoughthat it’s near impossible to prove she ever messed up at all.

If Ouma is absolutely brilliant, then I’d say Tsumugi is…devious. She’s more than capable of compensating for her lack of genius throughher sheer dedication to her goals, as well as the fact that she doesn’t alwaysnecessarily play fair. While Ouma was mostly right in assuming that she had tofollow the rules of the killing game because it was being broadcast, he failedto account for the fact that she already had broken the rules long before herstatus as the ringleader was exposed. As long as she can get away with it, she’sabsolutely the type of person to cheat in a game—and her plainness makes itvery hard to notice she’s cheating at all, usually.

This is just my take on it, anyway. The differences in theirway of thinking are honestly fascinating, so I really love getting to talk aboutthe both of them. Ouma is complex in his moral ambiguity and in how much healludes to the themes of the game, but Tsumugi is also complex in herhollow-ness, and how terrifyingly effective she is as an antagonist. Thank youfor giving me a chance to talk about them both!