#i didn’t say that sorry . the parasites made me do it

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

@teddybeartoji @staryukis @dollsuguru @neptuneblue

matching <3

[slttygeto]

THINK I FORGOT, HOW TO BE HAPPY.

⤷ what was I made for? | something i’m made for

જ⁀➴ synopsis: after hanging out with Suguru's friends, you head home and can't wait to bury it down like you always do. But when your boyfriend insists on knowing what upset you, the night takes a turn for the worst.

જ⁀➴ word count: 2,8k

જ⁀➴ content warning: fem!reader, hurt/no comofrt, angst, fights, suguru is a little mean and says mean shit but reader isn’t any better.

જ⁀➴ note: sorry for the long wait, i'm struggling to work on many things at once. but a huge thank you for showing the first part so much love! it was truly unexpected.

ʚ⁺˖ ⤷ tag list: @error404-tryagain @fiannee @anarosextodo @ayeputita (couldn't tag everyone for some reason, my bad!)

⤷ comments and reblogs are much appreciated!

Suguru remembers when he first fell in love with you, how his face felt warm when you wrapped your arms around him and told him to have a safe trip, the little bag of goodies you had prepared for him sitting atop of his suitcase. He remembers pulling you into a deep kiss in the middle of a crowded airport, and he wasn’t a huge fan of PDA, has never been—but something about you caring for him, preparing food for his flight and showing up as he was about to board made his heart leap out of his chest.

Your first I love you to each other was shared when you realized you couldn’t handle being away from each other for longer than a day. You move in together shortly after he returns from his travel.

You don’t remember when you started to feel out of place, but it makes its way up and towards the back of your head like a parasite—your emotions were always too much for anyone to handle. You recently had a breakdown over messing up at work, and you’ve never seen Suguru look more lost than when he tried to comfort you. His eyebrows are furrowed in concern, he looks defeated when you refuse to let him touch or hug you. You were a mess, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

When you do calm down and are finally able to breathe properly, your brain flashes you little moments from your breakdown like a flashback—almost as though to shame and embarrass you for the way you behaved, all while your perfect boyfriend looks defeated at your lack of cooperation. You’re not sure if it is true, you hope that it’s not—but you see Suguru sit at the edge of the bed and bury his face in his hands and he curses under his breath. He looks tired.

It’s because of me.

When Suguru notices that your breakdowns become less frequent, he is convinced that you are slowly working towards getting better, praises and showers you with compliments. This is the Suguru you always want to see, full of life and love and not the one you saw that night.

And so you decide that from now on, Suguru wasn’t made to see you at your lowest.

--

Dinner ends an hour later and you almost run out of the restaurant and towards the car. Suguru is quick to join you, and from the corner of your eyes, you see Gojo standing near his car and his eyes are staring into your soul. You were grateful that he didn’t tell your boyfriend about the bathroom incident. You confided in the male at such a vulnerable moment and you would’ve been pretty upset if he went against your wishes.

You’re as quiet as ever as Suguru starts the car and drives away. You’re mindful of the way you sit not to face Suguru, and decide on letting him pick the songs to play on the way back. And your boyfriend doesn’t seem to notice the way you’re avoiding him like the plague, after all this wasn’t the first time you were eerily quiet on the way back home. But you were wrong.

Suguru watches you as you walk inside your shared apartment and remove your shoes. You’re not wearing any specific expression indicating that you might be upset. After all, you did have a habit of frowning as a resting face. But it feels different as you quietly greet your cat with a head pat, choosing to head to the kitchen first since you knew Suguru would go to the bathroom for a quick shower.

You were avoiding him.

“Did I do something?” Your boyfriend watches as you halt your movements, the glass of water in your hand long forgotten as you stare at him wide eyed, like a deer caught in headlights.

“Huh?”

“You’re avoiding me, did something happen?” Suguru tries to remember the night you spent outside. He has no clear memory of saying or doing something that you might’ve tipped you over the edge, so what was wrong? You were never this quiet.

“I’m fine, Sugu. You didn’t do anything.” The smile you flash him does anything but reassure him. You ignore the frown that sits on his face and you turn around, your back facing him as you try to busy yourself with something—anything, but facing the man you called your boyfriend.

“Then why are you acting so distant?” So he was able to pick up on it. You hoped that he wouldn’t be able to, maybe breaking up with him would be much easier that way. You are quiet as ever as you turn around and walk toward the fridge.

You were distant because Suguru wasn’t supposed to see you like this, he wasn’t supposed to know how much of an insecure mess you were when he was around, how you were desperately trying to get him to fall out of love. You can barely say I love you to him without feeling guilty about it. Did you truly deserve his love? It felt like he was wasting his time on someone as miserable as you.

“I am not distant, just tired.” It wasn’t entirely a lie, you were tired. You wanted to sleep so badly, wanted to drown the lingering thoughts of never feeling enough as Suguru’s girlfriend, but feeling whole and complete when you are yourself outside of your relationship. This was a you problem, and dragging Suguru down with you felt a little unfair.

“You were crying in the restaurant.” Your heart stills at this. “But you lied and said you were fine.”

“Did Satoru—“

“Satoru doesn’t know you better than I do.” His tone is sharp, and you’re taken aback by the harsh way he chooses to address you. Was this about to escalate into something else? You didn’t want it to, you didn’t have the energy to fight back and tell him to choose his tone carefully. You might’ve been the easy-going, kind girlfriend—but you weren’t going to tolerate disrespect from his part.

“You’re right, he doesn’t.” You sound almost defeated, and you put your glass in the sink before wiping your hands on the towel. Suguru stands near the kitchen island, and watches you with cat-like eyes. You were barely looking his way, the dark circles under your eyes prominent despite your effort at covering them up with make-up. When did Suguru start paying less attention to you? Or did you simply never allow him to see you like this, vulnerable and exhausted. His heart aches in his chest.

“So you won’t tell me?” You’re about to walk away when he decides to speak, and you heave out a long sigh when you realize that the night was taking a turn for the worst.

“Tell you what?” You mumble under your breath, and you refuse to meet Suguru’s cold eyes. You can feel them on your skin, they’re intense and trying to read you like a book. Perhaps if you don’t look his way, his stare would feel less intimidating.

“Would you please just stop?” Suguru rests his elbows on his the surface of the kitchen island, burying his face in his hands. “I’m really trying to figure out what’s wrong, and you’re not helping.”

“Maybe because I don’t want to tell you what’s wrong.” Your response comes out almost immediately, and the frustration you’ve been suppressing all night suddenly resurfaces. Months of trying to play it cool, sweeping your insecurities under the rug and hoping that a kiss from Suguru would fix all of your problems, it was all piling up into this huge bubble. And the more persistent your boyfriend was, the harder it was to stay quiet.

“What do you mean you don’t want to tell me what’s wrong?” Suguru’s voice is a little bit louder, and he’s almost in disbelief at your words. You were dating, you slept on the same bed, ate on the same table and cuddled on the same couch. You weren’t a girl he started dating last month, or a person he was testing out the waters with—you weren’t even a potential lifetime partner, but he was almost certain that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.

“Because it’s useless to whine to you about shit you don’t need to know. My problems are mine, you don’t have to fix me.” You feel yourself shake a little the more you speak, your heart is beating fast at the realization that this was a conflict—you were creating a conflict and it felt suffocating.

“Fix you—who said I have to fix you?”

“Right, no one did—Suguru, just drop it. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But I do.” His tone is sharp, and his hands are curled up in fists. His eyes are staring you down the same way he looks at strangers—threatening, cold and mean. You find yourself tearing up and it makes you feel stupid. You started this, you’re the one who doesn’t feel enough in the relationship—you’re the one being mean, and yet a single look from Suguru has you almost bursting into tears? Pathetic. You felt pathetic and weak, and the longer your boyfriend stared at you, the harder it was to maintain a normal breathing pattern.

“Suguru, I don’t want to talk about it.” You try again, and you hope that your voice doesn’t betray and breaks. Tonight has been exhausting enough, and the thought of having to speak up what has been on your mind for months now makes your chest feel incredibly tight.

“You’re being selfish.”

Selfish? You were being selfish?

You stare at Suguru in disbelief and he immediately realizes how badly he must’ve fucked up because the tears start falling down your cheeks almost instantly. You, who has been pushing her feelings to the side for the sake of his happiness, were selfish? You, who can’t even remember the last time you were truly happy about something, were selfish? This is bullshit.

“I’m selfish?” Your chin quivers pathetically, and Suguru is quick to reach a hand towards you to hold you, but you flinch away from his hold, arms wrapped you to give yourself the comfort Suguru wanted to give you.

“I am selfish, me?!” Your voice is getting louder, but you didn’t care. All the frustration, all the sadness and insecurities were all coming up to the surface because of one single comment.

“Baby, I didn’t—“

“Don’t call me that, don’t you fucking dare touch me!” You move away when he attempts to hold you. “I’m selfish because I don’t wanna tell my perfect boyfriend with his perfect personality about my shitty problems. That’s just fucking great, isn’t it?”

The last time Suguru saw you like this was months ago and he doesn’t even realize it until now. All those times where you would brush off something that would normally set you off, give him a tight lipped smile and tell him not to worry.

“Your problems aren’t shitty, you don’t even want to talk about them!”

“Because every time I tried, it felt like I was robbing you of your fucking happiness, Suguru!” Your voice is loud. “Every time I realized that my mood was ruined, I could only think of how you must be fed up with me.”

“But I’m not? I never even said that I was fed up!” Suguru’s body language completely changes, and suddenly he’s not even trying to comfort you. More so understand where all of this was coming from.

“Your face says it all and fuck--” You groan into your face, your cheeks flushed from frustration.

“Oh so now it’s my face?” You raise your head to stare at him. “One moment you’re saying it’s how I behave, but now it’s all in my face?”

“You’re missing the whole point, Suguru—“

“No, I’m not missing anything! You are the one who created this situation, you’re the one who decided to pull away!” Each word feels like a knife being stabbed into your heart. You stare at the man who usually gives you warm, sweet smiles and all of that is replaced with a cold angry look.

“Suguru—“

“Selfish. Yeah, actually I don’t take it back. You are selfish,”

“Stop.” your lips quivers.

“Because if you actually wanted this to work out, you would tell me what’s wrong instead of finding excuses.”

“You’re being mean, Sugu.”  

Your boyfriend groans out of frustration and leans against the kitchen counter. You stand still next to the fridge, tears streaming down your face. You try to stop and wipe them away, but it feels as though you really needed this more than anything.

“I want to take a break.” You say quietly and Suguru’s head snaps up almost immediately.

“What?”

“I want to take a break from this—from you, I don’t think I can do it anymore.”

Instead of giving you a proper reply, Suguru storms out of the kitchen and grabs his jacket and car keys and is out of the house in less than a minute. You are frozen in your spot as you let the words you just uttered out loud sink in, and there’s a sense of guilt. You are pulling away from your relationship, you’re willingly taking a break and not looking back, but does it matter anymore?

This was by far your biggest fight with your boyfriend, and the way he stormed out at the mention of taking a break makes you want to crawl in a hole and die. But not anymore.

You can’t even remember the last time you were happy, and for it to go on for so long was so draining and tiring. You could barely recognize yourself anymore. Your feet take you towards your shared bedroom with Suguru and you start packing some of your stuff. Whether he agrees to the break or not is not important, because you were doing this for yourself. And if Suguru truly cared about you, he would let you do what is best for you.

--

Suguru didn’t know where he was going, he just wanted to get away from you and as soon as possible. The roads are empty, and he isn’t driving recklessly. In fact, he’s probably driving so slowly that it would look suspicious to anyone on the outside.

He parks the car on the side of the road and rests his forehead on the steering wheel. When did it turn into this? When did he become so absorbed in his personal life that he stopped including you or care for you? Suguru doesn’t want to blame himself, but it’s a little difficult. He thought he was living this picture perfect life with you, under one roof with a single pet and future plans ahead of you. But to fuck up this badly and call you selfish simply because you were struggling on your own was horrible.

And to make things worse, he stormed out of the house and left you there all alone. He groans into his hands.

“Fuck.” He wants to fix this. He doesn’t want a break, he doesn’t think that it’s necessary. But you looked serious about it, maybe he could talk you out of it.

He grabs his phone and dials your number, and when it takes a while for you to pick up he just knows that you must’ve been contemplating whether or not you wanted to take the call. Eventually, you do answer.

“I’m sorry,” the line on your side is quiet, so he continues. “I fucked up, I don’t think I should’ve said what I said and—“

“It’s not your fault.” Your nose is stuffed, but Suguru can tell from the tone of your voice that you were tired. “But I need some space, Suguru.”

Some space… So you were considering the break.

“We can work it out, we don’t have to take a break or anything, we can go on a date tomorrow morning and—“

“I called a cab, I’m going back to my place.” You cut him off, and Suguru hears you lock the door to his apartment. “I’m doing this for myself and for us,” Suguru closes his eyes when he realizes that there was truly no hope in talking you out of it.

“Okay… can I still text you?”

“No,” you reply quietly. “I don’t wanna think about you for a while.” He tries not to feel hurt but it’s difficult.

“I understand.” The line goes quiet for a while, and Suguru hears a few sniffles from your side and sighs.

“We’ll be okay, yeah?”

“Yeah,” You wipe a few tears. “I have to go now.”

“I love you.” Suguru waits for a response, and when you take too long to answer, his chest tightens a little.

“Take care, Sugu.”

2023 ; all works belong to @ slttygeto. do not repost my works on any other platofrm.

[eleganzadellarosa]

Forgive and Forget

pairing: mingyu x fem!reader

genre: smut (fluff if you pat your head and rub your stomach)

warnings: MDNI!!! (size kink (sorry I can’t help it, he’s just so big 😍), oral (f receiving), slight manhandling, breeding, lots of cum)

word count: 1.69K

A/N: it’s about that time yall, he always slithers into my brain at some point in time 🙄💕it took everything in me to not throw in some dacryphilia, the parasites in me really wanted to. Honestly I have nothing else to say except enjoy and thanks for reading :)

You’re far too in it to remember what the argument was about, but you knew you were right. It wasn’t often that you and Mingyu had disagreements of this caliber, most of the time they were “friendly”. Right now you’re angry, very angry actually, over something that you still don’t remember but you’re making sense and he’s clearly in the wrong. He raised his voice at you and vice versa, the argument was pretty heated but that was as far as it would ever go.

“You’re not even acknowledging that you’re wrong right now Gyu and you know you are!” Your finger was pointed but you were more so pointing at the space around him than at the actual person.

“Baby it doesn’t even matter, I know I’m wrong I just don’t like what you said!

He knew he upset you but the things you were blaming him for weren’t true and that’s kind of how the argument started; he just wanted to clear his name. You were so infuriating at times like these, standing your ground and not taking no for an answer.

“Fine whatever! I’m over this!” You threw your hands up and went to walk away but he grabbed you by the arm, pulling you back toward him.

He first caught you by the waist then held your face in his hands. You looked so pretty all the time, even when you were angry. He hated fighting with you, it made his heart ache and he always subconsciously thought you hated him a bit every time it was over. He knew that was a stupid idea and way to feel because you obviously loved him but he couldn’t help but be nervous. You couldn’t hate him, it would tear him up from the inside.

“Baby I’m sorry, you know I didn’t mean to make you upset right?” He rubbed your cheeks with his thumbs.

Your heart softened seeing the slight pout on his face. You didn’t like it either; raising your voice at each other as if you had no love in your hearts. “Mm” a small whimper of agreement leaving your throat because if you spoke, maybe your eyes would start to water.

“You forgive me? Hmm?” He kissed the top of your nose and touched his forehead to yours. When you nodded and he saw the early glimmers of tears in your eyes, he got down on his knees. “You sure? I won’t know unless you say it.” He ran the edge of his nails up the back of your thighs; you forgot you wore this little skirt.

Your cheeks were burning and no thoughts ran through your head as you watched this man who was obviously bigger than you, beg for your forgiveness on his knees as if you were the keeper of his soul. You were always weak to those puppy eyes he would give you so unintentionally but that only signified just how desperate he was to hear what he needed in order to feel better. He was kissing at your stomach now, one hand still on your thigh and the other under your shirt.

“Of course I forgive you Gyu.”

“Really baby? You don’t hate me?”

Hate him? You could never hate him; he never gave you reason to. “Why would hate you Gyu? I love you so much.” You gently caressed his face with your hand.

That put a smile on his face and he wrapped his big arms around your waist and rested his chin where his lips previously laid. “You gonna let me make it up to you?”

That sparkle in his eyes; going from desperate to happiness, now to a mixture of lust and excitement. “You don’t have to do that Gyu, it’s okay.”

“Pleeeease? I’ll make you feel so good baby, I promise.”

Your heart beat thumped in your entire body; your neck, your fingertips, your chest, you were suddenly aware how fast it was going. “Okay, but only if you want t-“

He was already pushing you against the nearest wall, still on his knees. He slid that tiny little skirt he loved so much down your legs along with your panties and draped a leg over his shoulder. He tapped on the other one to get you to let him do the same. He was sturdy, a big wide frame for you to comfortably rest your jelly like legs as he settled his tongue right between your juicy folds. He was so good at getting you wet, or maybe you just couldn’t help it.

He was right, you did feel good. Your hands tangled in his fluffy hair, back arched and head leaned back against the wall. You weren’t going anywhere but he had a tight grip over your thighs to keep you still while he got to work. Flat tongue exploring every inch of your dripping pussy. He made rough circles over your clit, stopping to suck on it every now and again. He was enjoying himself; grunting, moaning, whimpering at the taste of you flooding his tastebuds. Nothing was sweeter than you, nothing made his body feel like it was on fire like you did.

Toes curled and thighs shaking, you were close to what was to obviously come. “G-Gyu, gonna cum.”

There he was again, looking up at you with those same eyes that crumbled you into a bunch of tiny pieces. He grabbed higher on your thighs, bringing your pussy closer to him, sticking his tongue as deep as it could go. His fingertips dug into the flesh of your ass, your hands tugging on his hair slightly. His nose pressed against your clit and that along with everything else pushed you over the edge.

He loved being the one to get you like this. To be the only one tasting you in your most vulnerable form. He was twitching in the pants he wore; you were absolutely lethal. When you came down from your high, he gently let your legs down and stood up; chin and lips glistening. He smiled at you when you stood on your still wobbly legs. You wrapped your arms around his neck and brought him down for a sloppy kiss. His hands rested on your ass until he lifted you so that your legs wrapped around his waist.

He carried you to the bed, still kissing you and placed you on your stomach. You were left in nothing but your top, your bottom half on full display. You looked over your shoulder and watched as he removed everything until he was left in nothing but his skin. He was behind you now, propping you up on your knees so that his fat head could rub against your entrance. He grabbed your hips and slid in; hissing as he reached the hilt. Breathing heavily, he slowly built up a momentum, rocking his hips faster and faster.

“Mmm Gyu, feels so good…”

“Hmm? Feels good baby? Want more?”

He didn’t have to see you nod, your hips bucked back to meet his thrusts; just a way to tell him you needed more. Your walls sucked him in, inviting him to have no boundaries and to fuck you to his heart’s desire.

“Love you so much, don’t wanna fight no more.” His thrusts were quick now, fat dick stretching you out so deliciously.

No words could accurately describe how amazing it felt to be under him. So big and so heavy in all the right amounts. To have your face in the mattress while he grabbed at you as if you would slip away. He leaned forward, hands sliding under your shirt to fondle your breasts. His hands were soft, big but rough and mean all at the same time.

“Love you Gyu…love youuuu” you were moaning and whimpering; it all felt too good and your body felt tingly.

Your voice so pretty too, letting him hear how good he made you feel. He was no match for you, he couldn’t go on much longer before he wanted to fill you up just so he could hear you some more. He was addicted.

“Love you baby, love this warm pussy too, love everything. Wanna give you more. Wanna give you it all.” He wrapped his arms around you, trapping yours at your chest while he rut into you like a dog in heat.

Absolutely perfect, all of it. You loved how even though he could easily crush you, he made sure to use his size to protect your smaller body. He was getting so deep at the angle, a huge creamy mess forming at the base of his dick. His knees were between yours to keep you nice and spread for him.

“P-please Gyu…want it” your voice slightly higher pitched than it was earlier or better described as: the way your voice would change when you couldn’t take it anymore and needed to cum.

He sped up, thrusts so deep and fast, tip bullying your cervix. He squeezed you a bit tighter, prepping you and him for the massive load he was going to release. He was panting in your ear, breath warm and tickly. This only caused your pussy to flutter, walls clenching down on him. It was turning his pants into moans; gosh he was so close but so were you. You kissed at his bicep closest to you and it drove him crazy; you drove him crazy.

“Fuck, baby can’t hold it…gonna fill you up.”

And fill you up he did. A few more thrusts and his warm cum flooded your walls, slipping out and dripping down your thighs. You were both still moaning as you came down from your highs. He freed you from his trap and laid down next to you. Neither of you had the energy to move, panting heavily as the effects wore off. He built up the strength to pull you close to him because he couldn’t deal with you being so far.

“I’m sorry Gyu, I didn’t mean to yell at you and accuse you of all those things.”

He stroked your hair and kissed your forehead, “It’s okay baby I know, we don’t have to talk about that. Just lay here with me okay?”

Soon the silence engulfed you both and slipped you into a peaceful slumber.

Would y’all forgive him? 👀

[gay-dorito-dust]

Fiquei completamente apaixonada pelo imagine que você fez do Logan/Wade/Reader, queria muito outro assim, nada em especial, só mais sobre o relacionamento dos três (I'm really bad with requests, sorry)

(Rough translation by google: I was completely in love with the imagine you made of Logan/Wade/Reader, I really wanted another one like that, nothing in particular, just more about the relationship of the three) if it’s translated something within the request wrong, let me know.

Emotional support isn’t either Wade nor Logan’s strong suit. one made a massive joke out of everything, even his own feelings, while the other suppressed them unhealthily.

So needless to say if emotional comfort is what you were after, you were unfortunately out of luck but that didn’t mean that the pair were about to leave you to suffer alone during such a rough time in your life. Wade and Logan will find a way to help you anyway they could.

Wade would insist that you both have a spontaneous day where you’d do anything that came to your mind without judgment. You may or may not end up making dick cookies together in the kitchen whilst wearing your matching unicorn onesie pyjamas, covered in flour and other stuff.

Ass slaps -consensual of course- are a common occurrence between you, Wade and Logan…well mainly you and Wade…but Logan will gently tap your ass before kissing your forehead, meanwhile giving Wade the hardest slap that would leave a hand shape bruise that would last a week.

Cuddles are something that’s also frequent in your relationship with Wade and Logan but most -if not all- of the time you were in the middle of the both of them, leeching off of their warmth like the parasite you were but you were living the life.

Wade doesn’t care whether he’s the big or small spoon as either way he gets to be close to you in some capacity, where as Logan likes to be the big spoon so he could keep you safe and protected, always sleeping with his back to the door so that if anything were to happen they’d have to get through him.

Wade’s petnames for you are:

Cutie patootie with the booty

Peanut (something he also calls Logan)

Pookie/pookie bear

Sexiest person alive

Logan’s petnames for you are:

Darling

Sweetheart

That’s pretty much it as he’s not too overly worried about petnames, where as Wade has a thousand more up his sleeve that he pulls out of nowhere.

You and Wade would sometimes blatantly check out Logan whenever he’s shirtless and doing his one thing while you and Wade laid on the floor, feet kicking in the air as you both admired your hot partner. (Logan is very aware of what you two were doing but didn’t have it in him to say shit)

Dog pool is basically your, Logan and wades child and she is spoilt the fuck by the three of you for being the cutest dog you’ve ever seen. You dressed her up as Mary Poppins once for Halloween and now you have albums upon albums filled with pictures of dog pool in cute doggy costumes. This is her cannon event.

Logan has nightmares and would often act all cold and distant afterwards but you would gently grab his arm and pull him in for a comforting hug. ‘Don’t walk away,’ you said, ‘please we can figure this out together okay? You’ve been alone long enough, don’t for yourself to fall back into old habits when you’ve got two people who care deeply about you and want to see you okay.’ You add as you rub your hand up and down his back reassuringly until you manage to ease him back into bed and fall asleep on top of his chest so he doesn’t move.

You press kisses to Wade’s face and call him handsome, gorgeous, cutie, all sorts of names that have him feeling soft and fuzzy within his chest because he’s aware of how he looks, but you loved him unconditionally and would even help him with toupees and whatnot, though not before telling him that you find him attractive how he is and wouldn’t want him to change for anyone.

You got a lot of kisses and cuddles from him later because you had no right being that fucking cute!

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Just Perfect | Yandere Illumi Zoldyck

The heat underneath your turtle neck collar was sweltering. The coolness of the kitchen counter was unable to reach you through your jeans, only felt when you briefly let your hands brace yourself on it. The cutting board and toaster pressing against your back served as a minor obstacle, shoved to the side by the man enraptured by you. For you, it was a reminder of where exactly you were and the time of your ‘lonesome’ afternoon coming to an end.

“W-we have to stop soon.”

Your neighbor didn’t answer, instead busy himself with harshly biting your lip. Probing deeper into your mouth as he pulled at the loops of your jeans in an unspoken request. Your hands previously tangled in his hair were grabbing fistfuls of his tracksuit; passionately pulling as you felt the burning heat in your lungs as your kissing continued.  The haze upon your mind was addictive, thinking only of the way his mouth never stopped sucking–your tongue, your jaw, your neck. Barely registering his pale and masterful hands slipping under the form-fitting wool to squeeze at the fat of your waist. His hands are trailing upwards speedily making their way to your chest, it was almost enough to put all your worries to rest. 

The jingling of keys just outside the door stopped that immediately. 

With unimaginable haste, you unlatched and shoved the man away. Hopping down from the counter to pull your sweater back down and your pants up. Turning around to fix up the appliances on the counter. You quickly ran to the decorative mirror on the wall pulled the neck of your sweater up and inspected the marks on your face. Specifically on your lips while you sucked at the bloodied part of your lip. Lightly dabbing at it you sucking your teeth, cursing yourself before turning to the door swinging open.

“Welcome home Akaza!”

The black-haired boy didn’t look surprised to see you. Instead, he looked surprised at your state even though you felt like you fixed most of it. Watching him scrutinize your appearance, stopping at your bottom lips. You curled your lips in as though it would hide what was already seen. 

“What happened to your lip?!”

You chuckled nervously,” I bit it–on accident. Is it that bad?”

Adding the extra question you hoped would dissuade him from asking more. Instead, the second year marched further inside the home nonchalantly dropping his bag at the door; leaving it to you to pick up. After setting it nicely on a hook you came into the kitchen where your adoptive son was clutching at the tracksuit of your long-haired neighbor, practically growling in his face.

“How’d I know this parasite would be here?! Oi oi, you listening to me punk?! What’re you doing here!?”

You held the bridge of your nose. That twisted face and tensed posture matched the reports made by so many teachers. You knew this wouldn’t end like those situations in the past. Not if you had any say about it. Not that Illumi was going to let you.

“I think you know why.”

“GGRRRR!”

Akaza quickly reeled back to punch him only for your neighbor to dodge, and swiftly unlatched Akaza’s hand maneuvering him into the perfect position for a headlock. You figured it’d be best to end this now before one of them actually hurts the other.

“Akaza. Illumi. Break it up.”

The teen growled again reeling his fist in an awkward position. Illumi didn’t release him, anticipating the punch.

“Now, Akaza!”

The teen shook his head as he stomped away, avoiding eye contact with you. He headed up the stairs occasionally sneering as he made eye contact with the man standing unharmed and defiantly in the kitchen. Letting out a sigh you let your neighbor come in close as you apologized. 

“I’m sorry about him. I’m sure you know how he feels about you.”

Illumi didn’t bother sharing your worried gaze at the steps. Only intensely staring at you. As he usually did.

“Is that where you’re going this afternoon? To the principal’s office, again?”

Crossing your arms, you already recognized the annoyance in his voice.

“Yes again.”

“You’ve had 6 meetings this month alone. And they all happen on the evenings that are usually dedicated to us.”

You shrugged. “Yes well, that’s just the reality of it.”

“Isn’t there a seaside school you–”

The glare on your face made Illumi quiet himself. Clearly, the mention of that option was entirely off-limits. It’s exactly what he feared.

“Sorry. Maybe a meeting at the end of the month can be negotiated?”

“Unless you can convince Akaza to keep his confrontations to the end of the month, then I don’t see that happening.”

Illumi didn’t groan because he doesn’t groan. Instead, he crossed his arms to stare off to the side. He waited for you to hug his waist, shoving yourself through his locked arms to hold him tight. You enticed him to look at you, smiling when he finally did. 

“Depending on how this meeting goes you can come with us during our victory meal.”

“As if!”

No longer in his uniform, Akaza had returned. Looking disgusted at the affection you two displayed, he donned his shoes again and stood impatiently near the door. The teenager had you swallowing laughter, how could a little delinquent (as he portrayed himself to be) still be so polite? Despite his words, he was waiting patiently for you and he hadn’t gotten physical since he returned downstairs. You’d consider that progress.

“Well maybe during our consolation dessert?”

“Nuh Uh! Your boy toy is just awkward maybe if he didn’t stare at you like you were his dinner I wouldn’t mind.”

You couldn’t hold back your laughter at his assessment, letting a cheeky smile spread on your face. Hugging Illumi tightly you kick up your foot to playfully bat your eyes at Akaza, delighting in the little twitch his nose makes when he’s angry.

“Awww~are you jealous?”

“Blegh! Get a room you creeps!”

“Hahaha.”

Releasing your boyfriend you went over to your son, scratching his hair affectionately before reaching for your coat and shoes. You smile at Illumi encouraging him to leave with you two as you pull out your keys.

“Well then maybe we’ll go see a movie together instead.”

Looking down to lock the outside of the door, you’re vaguely aware that the two of them are speaking. But you don’t pay any mind, you figure it’s a thing they feel like must be done. Talking about territory, counseling books would usually reprimand this kind of thing but Akaza was no doormat and neither was Illumi. It was actually emboldening to think you’d find someone capable of going head to head with your self-proclaimed bodyguard. And even better he was just next door. 

“Yeah, get running track boy.” 

“Don’t call me boy, boy.”

“Yeah yeah get off our lawn!”

You didn’t bother fighting them—this was a peaceful interaction more so than the others they’ve had and you could focus on starting the car while you waited. A few more insults were thrown back and forth between the two of them; finally ending when Akaza slammed the side of the door into the passenger's seat. Only then did you send him a look that had him reopening and closing the door—softly this time. Smiling at him you rolled your window to shout to Illumi,” I’ll text you afterward about what we’re doing.”

Illumi only nodded, watching still as you smiled and waved then you were speeding off. Didn’t want to keep the principal waiting any longer. 

_____________________________________________________

“Aka, don’t you think this is a little…excessive.” You finally allowed yourself to speak normally, now that you both were leaving the empty school. Your son also seemed to relax, putting his hands behind his head as he walked alongside you.

“No. I’m doing it for her. Those bullies made her transfer, it is all their fault.”

He skipped ahead to open the driver’s side for you. Ever so polite you shoo him away back to the passenger side. Back in the car, you sent a wave to the principal who stood concerned while watching you drive off. 

“I know but you couldn’t have a witness or someone recording you defending her?”

Akaza sunk into his seat, sulking a little. You weren’t trying to bring him down but you figured if you offered some playful jabs he’d get your point.

“Like that blonde kid! What’s–his–name is clearly high all the time, I’m sure you could pay him off to back you up.”

You spared a glance from the road, catching the laugh he tries to hide. He rolls down the window letting his hand get pushed by the wind being cut through by your speeding car. 

“Douma is too popular for that kind of thing.”

“But he seems to like you enough.”

“He’s just a masochistic freak. Totally get’s off on the way I hate him.”

“Well don’t flatter yourself.”

“I’m serious–��

You two continued to talk as you’ve always done. When you first met him, he was some flea-ridden kid who you’d caught breaking into a neighbor’s house across the way. Come to find he was trying to pawn off what he stole to afford medicine for his father. You’d seen this kid get caught by the police before and to say they weren’t fond of him was an understatement. In an impulsive rush of good will you decided to be a an anchor for them–coming over with food and necessities. Soon you were paying for school supplies and signing for field trips. You were more than happy when the state offered for you to tak him in. Ever since you’ve been the guardian to a troublesome boy with an inclination for using his fighting spirit to solve all his problems. 

While you had no regrets about taking Akaza there was a glaring issue of your dying social life. Being in a small district for the school, meant familiar faces and a lasting reputation. While no one seemed to hate you for your son’s…unconventional problem-solving, they weren’t eager to get to know you. Those that were–usually romantically—would also start running because of some unknown force your son.

They were scared. 

You understood but it didn’t make anything better. Both you and Akaza only had each other and the few people who were crazy enough to interact with you. One of those being your new neighbor. 

“So icecream or churros?”

“Do you even have to ask?”

_____________________________________________________________

Watching the familiar car drive away from the entrance of the school parking lot, from his phone Illumi clicked it off. Looking back up at the blubbering woman and their teen, expecting something. 

“You stopped.”

The woman nervously brought her hands to smooth over dyed hair, hiding the silver strands that imminently began to appear. 

Shakily coughing she continued, “Right, well as a major donor to the school I’m sure they value me and my son’s opinion quite a lot. It’s nothing personal really—in fact we can make a donation in your name to support such a…troubled kid.”

Illumi didn’t care what she had to say. He has listened to hundreds of seedy or innocent targets try and rationalize their lives. Those in particular, that were lucky enough to get the chance to bargain. Just as usual nothing they offered was worth the pay. 

“Alright I heard you out.”

Unsheathing the needles from his cashmere classic coat, unbothered by the screaming family in front of him. Now he was thinking about who’d he’d kill first? Who was he kidding, he’d been trained to kill them all at the same time. He briefly thought of how inefficient he was when he hadn’t gotten his fill of his fiance. 

“WAIT! What if I got you a new principal!? Someone that could wipe his record! That’d be good ri—!?”

Illumi wasted no time flinging the needles into their necks. Their tied forms going limp on  the floor. That was a great idea, it’d be easier to orchestrate the vacancy of the principal than convincing his fiance to depart with their misfit boy. It’d be even better if the newly appointed  principal could avoid scheduling meeting on the days dedicated to pampering his fiance. 

Wordlessly the corpse of the woman rose like the undead. Standing, twitching occasionally the  corpse moved past Illumi with a mission. 

Illumi turned to join, stopping at a rock song coming from his phone. Letting his puppet unlock their phone, following through with their prior promises; he busied himself with the realization of his phone’s latest feature. The icon of a locator app took up his screen, his fiance’s face adorably holding up a piece sign above the car moving through the map. 

Illumi wasn’t aware that his love had, organized this app on his phone. Let alone made the . ringtone an obnoxiously inappropriate song. Still, he couldn’t find it in himself to undo the effect. It was like his gifts. 

Secret and made for surveillance.

Recognizing the route, he sent a message to his contact there. Illumi texted his fiance, reminding them of their prior offer. Perhaps this evening would still be salvageable; that is if that child would allow it. 

______________________________________________________________

Akaza was planning a murder. 

He’d done his best to keep chatting with his guardian, distracting them from their vibrating phone. No doubt the leech trying to get their attention Long enough for him to silence their phone when they got gas. He’d hope that’d be the end of it. Have his churro–icecream-monstrosity while watching the latest movie for him to laugh at with the only person in his corner. 

But no. 

He couldn’t have that. 

Not with the leech, conveniently being at the theater after they got their tickets. Pulling his guardian into his side while he collects the ticket for the open seat next them. Instead of his parent already turned to snark to him throughout the movie, they were whispering in the ear of the neighbor. Whispering and laughing with the man who was staring blankly at the screen, probably not even watching. The frozen section of the dessert in his hands, melting was just an omen to the night ahead. 

Instead of raving about the movie and they’re parent talking about their favorite parts, Akaza was forced to listen to the flirting of the two adults. Watching his parent pull at the man’s hands asking all the questions that usually would be asked of him.

“What do you mean you weren’t watching?”

“I was too busy looking at you. I didn’t care for the movie, really.”

“Don’t say that, there’s got to be something you like-”

“You.”

“Illumi, I’m serious!”

It wasn’t so bad when they relented to Illumi taking everyone out to eat. It was worth it to see the apathetic man silently accept the addition of Akaza to a restaurant of his choosing. Part of what Akaza hated about Illumi was his lack of emotions or rather the lack of displaying his emotions. Those wide black eyes bigger than olives always staring at his parent with insanity. The man’s strange movements that made him look like a puppet. The very rare smile that has people screaming in public. 

He didn’t know what his guardian saw in him.

Or why Illumi was so dedicated to dating them in turn. Akaza knew he was intimidating enough to scare the people not worthy for his parent but nothing was working. When it came to Illumi the doll-like man seemed all together unphased. More often then not he was making his own veiled threats. 

Akaza knew this angle, well. Others have tried to slink their way, whispering grand ideas of sending him to boarding or military school. But everytime his parent had shut them down, usually sending them away the minute they pushed the point. Illumi was much closer, literally and emotionally. Too many times had he found the neighbor making his parent bashful or stare at their phone in anticipation for a call from him. 

Unfortunately it doesn’t seem like he’s going away any time soon so it was better to lay the law down now. He waited until (Y/n) had left the table, waving over their shoulder as they left for the bathroom. 

“Look stalker, what’s your end goal? Sex, half their estate, you might as well come clean now.”

The pale man’s face showed no indication that he was alarmed or that he was listening at all. It wasn’t until his small lips curved and twisted into something wide and frightening. People around were whispering and a child was crying somewhere. This man was like nothing he’d dealt with before.

“What I want,” Illumi laughed, “has been clear from the start. I have nothing but the best intentions for (Y/n).”

Akaza sneered,”Yeah right. I find it funny you consider…getting rid of everyone they occasionally mention as a problem.”

Illumi cocked his head to the side. The leak of information makes him wary of keeping the boy alive at all. Instead he’ll make a note to handle those listening later.

“You know of my occupation?”

Akaza sighed,”Anyone who lives next to you knows. The thriving garden, the burner phones, and the way you talk about anatomy it’s just too weird.”

“I told you I was a docter, did I not?”

“I looked for your name in the medical registery, there is no Illumi Reldyck. I checked. There is another identity with your name but there’s no online footprint and I’m guessing you paid someone off for the fake certificate.”

The teen had him cornered. He did decide to lighten up considering the man’s hands reaching under the table for something. The thought of him reaching for a weapon did cross Akaza’s mind and he was glad for the pocket in his bubble jacket. Flashing it’s insides, and the insurance he carried as he brought his arms to rest on the back of the booth. 

Illumi was no longer smiling, “I believe I underestimated you.”

Nothing more needed to be said as their food was finally brought by a shaking waiter. The glares exchanged across the table dissipating as (Y/n) finally returned. 

“Glad you two didn’t bite each others heads off!”

Illumi leaned into them, “You told me you would hate it if I did that so I didn’t.”

Akaza sighed,”And I know you’d prefer it if I didn’t beat your boyfriend to a pulp in public. I know better.”

(Y/n) shook their head at the both of them before digging into their meal. For now Illumi and Akaza would be civil, it wouldn’t help anyone to fight in public with all these witnesses around. They’d wait until later to sort one another out. 

Where they wouldn’t be held back by the person they were fighting over. Or the police. Or investigative hunters. Or the organization of slayers.

Yeah they’d have to wait. 

________________________________________________________________

Illumi treated his wounds with the precision an assassin should have. Using his trained eyes to properly stitch at the gash in his leg. He was far removed from the process, after all it’s been years since he allowed himself to agonize over the searing feeling of pain. Instead he preferred to let his mind wander (as it often did ) to the one he endured these very wounds for. 

Despite their inadvertent hand in creating more strain on his body for his next mission, he couldn’t help but let his obsession with them consume even more. To think even a child they hadn’t birthed themself was already strong enough to be an obstacle to a trained assassin. It only proved how perfect (Y/n) was just for him. 

He’d long ago gotten the approval from his parents and eventually the entire family. Sharing a fraction of his extensive dossier about his fiance. They retracted their interest after the 50th page but Illumi didn’t mind. For once he valued the private appreciation he discovered when he first happened upon them. 

It was a minor interaction. One that Illumi would have ignored on the route to a mission. They had smiled while passing by; a nice gesture they did on an especially good days. The assassin didn’t mind at the time. Many very observational citizens might notice him but very few actually acted on it. He didn’t care…at least not at the time. He did care when he found his mind flashing the image of their smiling face while he stabbed the needle into the subject’s heart. 

At first it aggravated him that his attention was divided because of some random person. From a distance he could tell they weren’t particularly strong or highly intelligent. Yet he found himself in a department store’s camera room going through the footage of the sidewalk. Taking the seconds of the meeting on the recorded tape, he began his investigation. His…colleague often spoke about getting enjoyment from his time with people of interest. That’s all he’d call his growing interest at the time. That’s what he’d call it. Even if his investigation had been going on for five years now—he was convinced it was just for an experiment about enjoyment. Escalating from their route to work, to their home, to their room. He watched the raggedy child become a member of their home. Watched them send the delinquent to school. Watched them cut their hair. Watched them crash their car. Watched them go to physical therapy.

Watched them get farther with a lover they’d ever had. He hated that part.

That was when Illumi felt the desire to get involved. To finally introduce himself. To show them the love none of their past flings could properly pretend to show. After a talk with his parents he stationed himself in (Y/n)’s neighborhood. It took a short while to rid the house next to theirs but when he did, everything just fell into place. 

Well almost everything. 

“Thank you for the new job. I was told you had a request for me?”

The voice coming from the burner was calm—the tone of a fellow killer. It was reassuring. 

“The student I informed you about shouldn’t need any guidance. No meetings with them or their guardian unless you confirm it with me.”

The silent static permeating from the phone filled the room. A great background to the alluring  sight through the window. Right across the way was the silhouette of his beloved fiancé, oblivious of his watchful gaze. He couldn’t wait to offer the ring.

“Perhaps I can do more…with the boy…keep him away for awhile longer. Would that satisfy our agreement?”

Illumi let a smile spread on his face as that obnoxious song play on his other phone. The blue light from the window across shining through the sheer curtains. 

“That would be perfect.”

[worldofkuro]

Painted Smile

Painted Smile VI

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Pairing: Alastor x Female! Reader

Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.

Notes: It's a long chapter because it's Alastor's Point of View from the beginning until the end of Chapter IV. There is dark theme here, like racism, blood, dark thoughts. But I guess you know about it, it is about Alastor's story ! Please enjoy and tell me your thoughts, if you like having a long chapter about Alastor's thoughts.

“ Do you promise to be a good boy bébé?”

Alastor smiled at his mother and nodded. He would always be good for his mother, even if he didn’t like what he was supposed to do. Today, his mother had invited an old friend of hers, someone she used to know before she married his father, and this woman would bring her child with her, hoping that they could play together. His mother was so excited.

He didn’t care about them, but if his mother was happy, he'd put on a show.

He went into his bedroom to be sure everything was clean, but mostly to be sure that his secrets were kept safe. He took his journal, where all of his thoughts were written down. He hid it under a pile of clothes, if his father were to fall upon it,  it would be a disaster and frankly, he didn’t want to get into another beating.

He lifted his head up as he heard noises downstairs. So the parasites have finally come. He looked at himself in the mirror and smiled brightly. Easy. He tried different types of smiles before going downstairs quietly. He has learned not to make noises when he was walking, sometimes he could walk behind his fathers without him noticing. 

And there you were. He tilted his head as he saw you took a photo and stared at it. You didn’t even sense him, you weren’t paying attention to what was going on around you. Your life must be so easy.

“  Do you not know that it is rather rude to touch others' belongings?”

He stopped himself from chuckling as you jumped, surprised. Heh, too easy.

“And it is rude to come unannounced behind a lady!” 

A lady? His mother was a lady. Always proper, always smiling… You? You were… a naive, uninteresting girl so far. He did say to his mother that he would play nice… But he couldn’t help himself.

“ I see no lady.”

He wanted to laugh at your expression. How strange. You were giving him your reaction without faking it. In this house, everyone was faking it to make it out alive, even his Mother, faking a smile so his father could be “happy”. And when the emotion wasn't faked, it usually meant that problems were on their way. But you, you just expressed your expression out loud, without fearing it could put you in trouble. How strange. 

He turned his head toward his mother who introduced you both. He was ready to go shake your hand but you came toward him and kissed him on both cheeks. The only person who kissed him like this was his mother. Who did you think you were ? His cheeks flushed with anger but he contained himself,  not here, not in front of his mother… You wanted to play that game? Alright.

He waited for both of your mothers to go back in the kitchen before stepping closer to you, his face near yours. Hah, how you liked it when someone came too close toward you. He stared at your eyes, your eyes that seemed to say so many things, things he couldn’t comprehend, that he couldn’t grasp because he… he wasn't like you.

“ It’s rude to look at someone face this close!”

He almost coughed, you were the one who kissed him first but now HE was the one being rude? He easily made a lie saying he needed to be close to see. He saw your eyes relax and you almost seemed sorry. Were you watching him with pity? Oh no, he wouldn’t accept it. He’d prefer seeing you angry at him than watching him as if he was some kind of helpless kid who couldn’t fight for himself. 

“ But now that I have seen you up close I can clearly say… I see no lady.”

He smiled when he saw your angry face.

----

Your parents were really curious about him. He didn’t really want to talk with them but he put on his mask and talked about school and other boring stuff. He almost lost his calm when he felt you kicked him in the shin. He stared at you as you were beaming with pride and joy because you were now the centre of attention. How naively cute.

His mother always told him to never hit a girl but… If it was an accident ? And you were the one to begin this war. He kicked you on the same spot you had kicked him. His smile widened when he saw you spilled your drink on the table. You were panicking so much and you had every reason to be.. if his father were to be here. He stared at you, drinking.  You were a living experiment with your emotions shown so easily. You were still naive… But a tiny bit interesting. 

He stood up from his chair when his mother invited you both to play outside. He walked in front of you but he was looking at your shadows which made it so easy to dodge your so-called kick. He looked at you with a beaming smile when he spotted your face. You seemed so surprised.. and a bit impressed.

“ So unladylike.”

He watched you as you stuck your tongue to him, he was sure you were thinking he couldn’t see you. How funny. He let you go toward the swing and watched you as you went higher and higher with each swing. He walked toward you as you closed your eyes and arched your back toward the ground. You seemed so light, like you could just fly at any moment. Now he was curious.

“Jump.”

You didn’t seem keen on jumping, saying things like you could hurt yourself or dirtying your dress. He kept his smile but felt kind of disappointed. Oh well, maybe you weren’t interested. 

Or maybe you were!

He stared at you as you jumped when the swing was in its highest spot. He opened his mouth as he saw you, almost floating in the air, you seemed so free, so alive, so colourful, so… out of reach. He wanted to drag you down in hell with him. In his personal hell. In his life. Why were you so happy and he was–

“ Wow! Did you see that Alastor ! I did it ! Haha ! That was super amazing !”  you laughed. He looked at you, you were looking at him like you wanted him to be proud of you. You were beaming, you were… cute. You just jumped off a swing because he dared you to do it and you did it. No question asked. Most of the people would have said they didn’t want to play with him and left. But you stayed. Strange…

He tried to suppress his laugh when you dared him to climb the tree. So easy. Once he climbed it he watched you. Now you were the one on the floor while he was near the sky. He looked at you as you watched him, impressed. It made him feel something so he decided to tease you once again.

“ I should thank you, now that I’m here, I don’t have to see your face.”

“ My face is pretty !”

Yes, it was.

“ Pretty ugly.”

“ Alastor !”

You played all afternoon, you always had another game to play, another riddle to solve. Your mind was always thinking about something new… But then you put your hand on his eyes and said that you had a great time with him. What kind of manipulative game was that? Saying a secret, trusting the other person to hold their tongue and never breathe a word of what you just said? How could you be so naive ? Life wasn’t fair. Sharing secrets would make you weak. Never reveal your scars, your secrets or your emotions. 

He asked for another game, not wanting to see your face. Did you know that he could see everything in your eyes? Was that why you said your secret with a hand in front of his eyes, so he couldn’t see if you were in pain or happy? 

He looked at you as you proposed  a game of hide and seek. How cute. He would find you. He was a master of “hunting”. He closed his eyes and counted until fifty. He could already hear where you were going as you ran toward the forest. He smiled as he made you think he didn’t know where you were, he waited some time so you could be so sure of yourself you wouldn’t see him come.

And there you were.

“ Found you.”

You ran.

But what shocked him even further was that he couldn’t catch you. It was like you were flying through the grass, you weren’t watching where you were putting your feet while he was watching the floor, dodging the puddle of mudd, jumping over the branches that would have made him fall. He watched as you ran, he wanted to catch you. He didn’t know why, maybe to prove something to himself. 

It seemed like it was time to say goodbye, he didn’t even see the time passing which was surprising, he always knew what time it was, knowing when his father would come back. You came toward him, you seemed sad.

“ Well.. Goodbye…”

Were you really sad ? How cute. But if it was the last time that he saw you, he would rather see you smile.. And , well , he wasn’t going to see you again right? He could tell you a secret. He covered your eyes.

“ I had fun and… you are pretty.” 

He went to his mother as he watched you and your family leaving his house. When he went back home, his mother was watching him with an expectant smile. He tilted his hand, smiling at her, she seemed to have had a great afternoon, he was relieved.

“ Did you have a great time Alastor?”

He froze for a second. Did he? He stared at his hand, the hand that didn’t manage to catch you. Well, you were like a fresh breeze. Needed but short. He would have to live once again without feeling it.

“ Yes, I had a great time.”

—----

Alastor was doing his homework in the kitchen while his mother was cooking. Most of the time, his Father was away all week because he worked far from home, so his boss would give him a place to stay to avoid doing long travel. Which meant, when it was the weekend, his Father would do nothing but lay around in the house and if he had a bad week, well.. Let’s just say that his body remembered those days.

There, done! 

He stood up from his chair, now that his homeworks was done, he could go and listen to his radio. He went to his bedroom and sat on his desk, listening to the radio until he heard noises downstairs. He didn’t remember his Mother telling him that they would have guests over… And then he heard them. Your footsteps. What was that feeling? His heart was beating louder as your footsteps were getting closer and closer.

He smirked when he heard his door open, did you really think you were being quiet ? He stayed silent waiting to feel you closer to him, and once he saw your shadow, he opened his mouth.

“ How rude, entering a boy’s bedroom without permission.”

“ I see no boy.”

He smiled as he approached his face towards yours making you blush. He didn’t know why, but he was… content seeing you in front of him with all of your emotions written across your face. 

But he didn’t like this thought.

The fact that just your presence could make him feel things. You didn’t have the rights. That would mean that you had the upper hand on him, playing with him. No, you couldn’t know.

“ Why are you here?”

And there it was. You looked like a kicked puppy. He didn’t like it. He clearly didn’t like it. You were cute like this but he’d rather see you smiling even if he didn’t like what it made him feel. He suppressed his need to sigh at your face. You stuck your tongue at him, trying to hide the fact that he hurted you. You really were the cutest. Didn’t you see that he already saw your heartbroken expression? Seems like he needed to make things right. He touched your shoulder but you didn’t move. You were such an obstinate brat. He really was trying to be nice ! He sighed. Well… 

He covered your eyes, smiling when he saw you flinching and spoke.

“ I didn’t expect…to be content to see you today.”

Your smile was really blinding. He wondered if you were aware of it? How could you smile so easily without fearing that you showed too much emotion? How could you trust him not to use the information you just told him with your smile: You liked being with him. 

He was almost worried for your future. He looked at your hands as you raised it toward his face, clearly trying to cover his eyes. You really liked to touch him, didn’t you? He helped you as he took your hand and placed it in front of his eyes. Now what?

“ I wanted to see you too.” you confessed.

…

So that’s what it was.

He wanted to see you too.

How could you speak so freely? He took your hands off him and stared at you, maybe if he stared long enough in your eyes, he could get an answer. The only answer he got? He didn’t flinch when you kissed his cheeks not because he was scared but because didn’t feel the need to push you away. How strange…

He smirked as you told him about making him food. So you asked about him. You didn’t forget about him. Interesting..

He tilted his head as you ordered him to dance. He could dance, his Mother had teached him, he couldn’t wait but show you. He gave you a big smile and held his hand toward you but you went off script. You took his hand and just started to jump around, holding his hand. You encouraged him to do just like you but he was so confused. Was that dancing ? Maybe it was your way of dancing… Well, it was chaotically cute.. But let him show you how it’s done.

He took your hands and twirled you just like his Mother taught him. You seemed impressed once again, he really liked that. He didn’t know why but he wanted you to keep on watching him like this. You let go of his hand and walked toward his bed before throwing his pillow in his face. He didn’t expect it. He stared at your laughing face. You thought you were funny huh?

He took the pillow and ran toward you, pinning you on the floor and hitting you softly with his pillow. “ Rule number one, never drop your guard.” He hitted you with his pillow. “ Rule number two, I’m the strongest here.” he hitted you once again. “ Rule number three, give up.” He smiled as he watched you trying to sit up. You were really trying to get away ? He held the pillow above his head and then he saw it.

Your gaze fell on a bruise from his father. Ah, were you going to ask questions? What excuses should he invent this time? He tried to help his mother but failed? No, it was impossible. As he was swimming through his thoughts you took his hand, placed it on your eyes and  began to talk. You talked and talked and talked, you really couldn’t stop huh?

But he listened.

To every word.

He stood up and helped you when he heard his mother calling you downstairs. He followed you to the sofa and sat down, listening to your mothers talking. Seemed like you weren’t as patient as him, he could already see boredom settling on your face. But then you ran off the living room saying stuff about a kitty. He smiled at the ladies and went outstairs, staring at you and the cat. This bloody cat who was always hissing at him…

Maybe if he stopped affraying it, the cat would calm down? Huh…

He came closer and as expected the cat began to hiss but then it hurted you. He stared at your bleeding hand and took it in his. You were trying so hard not to cry. Why? You’ve been showing him every single of your emotions since you have met, why would you hide something that he wanted to see? Why did you not want to share yourself with him? He didn’t remember the last time he or his Mother cried. What would you look like? Without even being aware he dug his nails in your cut making you scream. He stared at you, you didn’t seem angry at him, but confused.  

“ Don’t be ashamed, you can cry. I… I think I want you to cry.” Now he was the one being confused.  Why would he want to see you cry? Because that means you trusted him enough to show yourself at your weakest. You began to cry, louder than necessary for such a little cut. But he let you. You were crying in front of him without feeling ashamed. You trusted him not to hurt you even more. You were an open book for him, a book he wanted to keep on reading.

But he’d rather see you smile.

He opened his mouth, ready to make a joke but he froze once he heard his voice.

“Alastor.”

He kept you against him. He remembered his Father hitting him because he was crying, he needed to hide your tears from his Father. He didn’t deserve to see you in that state. He didn’t trust his Father and neither should you.

“ Why is this chick crying ? For God’s sake, what have you done boy?”

“ The cat scratched her.”

“ This stupid cat… I’ll shoot it next time.”

He stared as the man went inside the house. It was going to be a hard night… He didn’t want to explain everything to you about his Father, you didn’t need to know. All you needed to know was how to be safe from this man. He covered your eyes with his hand.

“ Never cry in front of this man.”

He didn’t let go of you until you nodded. Then he took you to his Mother so she could clean your cut. Better safe than sorry.

Before leaving you told him about the pizza that you made with your Mother. He sneaked with you to the kitchen, he knew that his Father would eat all of the food you made so he wanted to share it with you before it could be stolen from him.  You were so eager for his feedback, he almost wanted to say it tasted bad but after what he did to your hand he decided to be honest and made the promise to cook you something next time. You beamed and kissed him on both cheeks before leaving with your Mother.

—--

He was so excited.

His Mother had told him that you would have a sleep over while his Father wasn’t home. It was perfect! He also had another game he wanted to play with you. His Mother had bought him a microphone thanks to his good grades at school. He wanted to do a radio broadcast with you. He wanted to share his dream with you just like you shared your emotions with him. He was in his bedroom, re-reading his note to be sure that everything was perfect. He asked his mother to do his hair like adults, so now his hair was slicked back. He looked at himself in the mirror. That would do. 

“ Can I come in yet?” you asked, outside Alastor’s bedroom, waiting for him to open the door.

His grin got even bigger. He opened his bedroom door and stared at your outfit. You were cute, as always. You kissed him on both cheeks, like usual and he tugged you inside his now radio booth! 

“ Welcome to my humble Radiobooth !” He said with glee as he shoved you on a chair. “ Welcome New Orleans to Alastor’s podcast ! Thank you for tuning in, today I’m thrilled to announce that I will not be alone, I am blessed with the best singer in all Lousianna !” he claimed and shoved the microphone to your face. You gave him a big smile and began to introduce yourself even saying he was the best radio host of all New Orleans. He couldn’t help giggling, you were playing your part perfectly. Maybe when he would have had his own radio station he would invite you as a very special guest. 

He kept talking as you read the notes he had just given you, he kind of expected you to fumble but once again you surprised him. You were natural, talking about what was written on his notes but then you went off script and made him laugh. You were amazing.

He kept doing his part as the radio host, explaining about why your sleepover has to be delayed to this day. You didn’t ask much more information but was happy he punched the boy who badmouthed his mother. Calling her such a disgusting word…

You both kept playing, sometimes he would forget about your presence, but when he noticed that his voice was the only thing he could hear he would turn toward you, ordering you to talk. You had a pretty voice, why not use it?

Well, he didn’t expect you to raise your voice against him when he said he couldn’t understand people liking sweet things. You were so convinced that there was something wrong with him for not liking sweets. Well, shouldn’t you feel appreciated ? You were the sweetest thing he ever laid his eyes upon and he kept you by his side, didn’t he? He closed his eyes still smiling as you kept blablating with his Mother’s laugh echoing in his bedroom. He liked it. He really liked this moment, if he could, he would like to record this moment so he could play it again and again.

After his Mother’s departure he went toward the letter he wrote with questions for you. You thought the game was over? Think again.

He asked you many questions, well of course the questions weren’t from him, but from the audience ! You answered to all of them honestly and there came the last one. He took the letter and read it to you.

“ And now, our last question before our guest’s performance. What do you think about our dear radio host Alastor ?”

He could see your answer in your eyes before you even opened your mouth. He already knew what you were about to say. He already knew. But he was waiting eagerly so you could say those words he desperately needed to hear. Say it, say it, say it…

“ He is the best!”

Yes, and so were you.

And you needed to know it.

He tugged you downstairs saying you needed to sing or the broadcast couldn’t end. He sat in front of the piano as you were flustered with his microphone in your hands.  He smiled at you and then closed his eyes. He wanted you to feel powerful. But first, he needed you to be less insecure about your abilities. So the first lesson would be: singing.

And sing you did. When you stopped being a coward and really sang like the singer that you were, he couldn't help but open his eyes to admire you. Even if some of the notes weren’t the best, you were giving it your all. You were giving him all of you at that moment. 

He couldn’t be more proud.

You were the best.

He couldn’t stop himself from crushing you against him as he said goodbye to your audience. Everything was perfect, you were here, his mother too and there were smiles on every lips. 

—--

“ We are still playing with Alastor! When we are finished, I will join you.” you said with a shy smile, holding a plushie. He was behind you, waiting for his Mother's command. Truthfully, he didn’t want you to go to sleep with his Mother right away. He still had other games he would like to play with you. As soon as his Mother accepted, you ran into his bedroom with him following you. You were on his bed with this…

“ What is it ?”

“ Well, first of all, it’s a He and he is a deer.”

He listened to your story. So you didn’t know how to swim, he would have to train you. You shouldn’t have so many weaknesses, it was dangerous. But then you started talking about how your deer plushie was protecting you. What were you saying, were you so tired that thinking was too difficult for you?

“ So, a deer saved your life from drowning…”

“ Yes, so my parents bought me this deer plushie so now, when I'm scared I can just squeeze him and feel safe!” you demonstrated your words by squeezing your plushie against you. “ Do you want to try it?” 

Did he want to try to squeeze a plushie? Not really. Not at all.

“ How can he protect you?”

You rolled your eyes at him before pushing your plushie in his arms. You forced him to hug it, once you were satisfied, you nodded and looked at Alastor who was clearly confused. “ Now, squeeze him !” 

Once again , you were looking at him with those eyes he couldn’t refuse anything. He suppressed a sigh and squeezed the deer against him and closed his eyes. It has your scent. He could feel himself relax. Yeah… It felt nice. If he were to hug you like this, would you also be this soft?  He was getting taller than you, have you noticed it? Maybe one day, he would be able to hug you just like this plushie? Would you feel safe in his arms? Or would you try to run away?

“ Mister Deer could be our very first guest in our radio show?”

Our.

He opened his eyes, staring right in your soul. Ah, you were panicking. Did you think he didn’t like that you use “ our” instead of “ his” ? You were so cute! 

“ I’d like that.” he whispered with a soft smile. “ Our first guest.”

You both laid on his bed, he still held the plushie against him. He really needed to find him a name, names are important. He listened to you blablating about how he was supposed to take care of the deer. It looked like a fawn for him but whatever.

“ Now that I have Mister Deer, who will protect you?” he asked, with no trace of fatigue on his face, he was used to not sleeping, because of nightmares or just because he needed to be aware of what his father’s doing in the house. You smiled tiredly at him, putting your head on his pillow.

“ Well, because you hold Mister Deer, it’s your job to protect me now.” 

It was his job to protect you..? He would do it. He would protect your smile, he would protect your dazzling eyes that seemed to never lose their sparkes.

“ … So, do I need to hug you?”

“ M-maybe but…Do you want to …?”

Does he want to?

He covered your eyes with his hand. Within the next five minutes you were asleep, he took off his hand and stared at your face.

 Did he want to hug you? 

He looked at the fawn in his arms. You were cuter than your plushie, so that made you huggable. He touched your cheeks with his finger but you didn’t move. He nudged you with his feet but you stayed asleep. You must be feeling very safe to sleep like this. He would awake at any noise in the house. 

Did he want to hug you? 

He wasn’t touching you but he could feel your body warm from here. Were you too hot? Did he need to take off the blanket ? But maybe you liked being warm? You were so problematic, did you know that? He stared at the ceiling, he knew he wasn’t going to fall asleep soon… 

Did he want to hug you?

He put the fawn between his body and yours, whispering in your ear. He hoped you would stay asleep, he didn’t want anyone to witness what he was going to say.

Did he want to hug you?

“ Yes, if you hug me back.”

—-----

He was blushing as his Mother was asking him if he slept well. She had a teasing glint in her eyes, she must have seen! When he woke up, he had you in his arms. He quietly left the bed, leaving the fawn with you. 

“ Alastor, this  was a very cute scene!” 

He didn’t care if this was cute, it was embarrassing ! He hid his face in his Mother dress. Could she just forget about it? 

“ Don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul.” she kissed the top of his head with a beaming smile. He smiled at her, his mother seemed happier since she found your mother back.  He liked it. He decided to go back to his room to see if you awakened but what was surprising was that he saw you with his microphone, talking with the fawn. How could the fawn protect you, it looked like you were the one protecting it with the way you were holding it against you. You were so strange.

“ I knew you would play with it.” you blinked at him. He looked at your bed hair and couldn’t help but smile. You looked silly like this ! “ Eamon told me you were using the microphone.” You tilted your head.

“ Who ?”

“ Our deer. He needs a name, don’t you think?” he stroked your plushie’s head while mumbling “ even if he looks more like a fawn than a deer…” 

“ He is a deer ! I’m sure you never saw one !” you huffed as you squeezed Eamon against your chest. 

“ Actually, I did when Father took me hunting.” he tilted his head as he saw your horrified face. Why did you take a step back?

“ You killed a deer ?”

“ No, I saw one. And most of them have brown fur, not like ours who have a white one.”  Why did you seem so confused?

“ But…  Why is your father taking you with him.. to hunt..?” you asked, confused.

To kill of course. 

But he couldn’t tell you that. His father wanted him to be a man, and man went hunting.  His father showed him how to kill while threatening him.

If you don’t want to end up like this, shut your trap.

When he first went hunting , he was terrified but now, he would just stare at the dead animal wondering if he will be the target next time. So far, he was alive. How lucky ! But once again, he couldn’t tell you that, could he? Would you be worried for him? 

“ It’s not for little girls, that’s for sure. You wouldn’t bear it.” He teased you.

“ Hey! I saw things too, I’m not a little girl!”

Did you? Were you like him? Did you see things that made you reconsider your morals? Did you see things that made you throw up? Did you see things that made you want to run away and never look back. Did you–

“ My father tried to eat my mother one day.”

…

Now, that was horrifying.

—--

You went downstairs to eat breakfast as he went to the bathroom to wash up. He stared at his body. The bruises were no longer on his body, that was nice. He went to the kitchen and sat next to you. Strange, you were looking at him like you knew something that he didn’t. Did his Mother tell you what happened ? No, she wouldn’t. So why–

“ Next time, we should have a sleepover at my house ! I could show you my room !” you smiled excitedly.

He tensed. He would love to go to your place, being able to see your house. How did you decorate your room? But he couldn’t leave his Mother alone with his Father. What if he decided to come back drunk and beat his mother while he was enjoying himself, free of worries, at your place. No, he couldn’t. He looked at you and there was the kicked puppy stare… 

“ I… I don’t like leaving my mother alone at home.”

“ But we will choose a day where your father is home!” you nudged him, trying to coat him to come with you at your house. “ Please Alastor… I really want you to come.” you pleaded as you held his forearms with your small hands. “ You don’t want to..?”

I want to.

He bit his lips, he wanted but he couldn’t. Wasn’t it the meaning of his life? Wanting without having the power to be able to do what he wanted. Fortunately, his Mother had sensed his discomfort and she offered to come with him for your next sleepover.

He relaxed. Yes, like this, it would be perfect.

The day went on as you both “gossiped” as his Mother called it. But unfortunately, it was time for you to leave. You asked Eamon to take care of him and then you asked him to take care of Eamon.  You were cute but as asked, he would take care of your Fawn.

—-------

He was in the forest with his Father, holding a rifle. It was a familiar feeling to hold the weapon in his little hand. He was used to it now. He was walking, alongside his father who was making so much noise, how could they hunt like this?

“ Here, be a useful brat, shoot it.”

He shot the partridges which fell down near him. Should he be afraid of himself ? He couldn’t feel anything as he watched the life leaving the animal’s eyes. It was almost boring, he was stronger so he won. It was that easy.

Would you be scared of him?

 He stopped himself. You were the first real friend he has ever made. If you were to see him like this, would you be afraid of him? Would you let him explain? He turned his head toward his father as the man pointed to a deer not too far. He could shoot it. It would be easy.

But then he saw your face. He knew this deer wasn’t the one who saved you but this time, for you, he would not kill it. He knew you wouldn’t forgive him.

“Alastor, shoot it..!” 

He just stared at the beautiful beast not too far from him. He stared into its eyes as the animal saw him before running off. How he envied the animal right now…

He heard his Father before feeling the punch in his face.

Ah, today it was going to be harder than usual.

“ You brat!” 

A kick in his stomach.

He wondered if you were sleeping right now? You always fell asleep so easily, he was almost envious. Maybe next time, he’ll ask you how you manage to find the sweet relief of falling asleep.

“ How useless!” 

Another kick in his stomach.

Ah, his Mother was going to be so sad once she saw him. Maybe his Father would let him wash himself up in the water? 

“ You nigga !”

Aand there it was. That disgusting word. He felt his Father grabbed a fistful of his hair and dragged him toward their home. His Father threw him inside his bedroom, Alastor’s head hitting the wall. 

Seemed like his mother was out buying groceries. Good, she wouldn’t have to see that. He stared at his Father, smiling. The man took off his belt and began to hit him on his back, forcing him to lay on his belly. Alastor stared in front of him and saw Eamon, staring back at him. He didn’t know why, but he moved. He stood up as his Father shouted at him to stay in his place. He took the plushie against him, keeping his back toward his Father but he stayed standing. 

His father hit him on his back with his belt once again but Alastor didn’t fall on the ground. He crushed the plushie against him as he closed his eyes. 

It was going to be over soon. He would see you this weekend, you would play together, you would show him your neighbourhood, you would give him something sweet to eat.

He opened his eyes and saw with sadness that Eamond was dirty with his own blood. He touched his nose, oh yes, his father did punch him in the forest. Aah, he needed to clean it before you came back.

His back felt wet and stinky. Was he sweating that much? Normally he could handle it better? He sniffed.

Ah, blood.

He didn’t remember when he passed out but when he woke up, Eamon was still in his arms.

“ ça va aller mon bébé, regarde Maman.” 

He looked at his Mother, her smile wobbling. He just closed his eyes and squeezed Eamon, the plushie didn’t have your scent anymore, but it has his blood’s. 

—---

He didn’t know why, but each week his Father would hit him with his belt on his torso or back even when his Mother was begging for him to stop. He had to go to school with bandages all over his body but his face. But he never cried, nor asked his Father to stop. He would just think that soon, you would come and the Hell he was living would come to a pause. Each time, he was thinking.

Next week.

But you never came. 

It’s been almost a month. Did something happen to you? Were you sick? Maybe he could ask his Mother to see if you were okay? He was on his bed, clinging to Eamon, his back was hurting so much he almost wanted to bite off his hand from the pain.

But no, he just stared in the void, losing his smile. And then, a thought struck him.  

Was killing a human any different than an animal?

His eyes widened, but before he could deepen his thoughts on the subject, he heard footsteps downstairs. Yours footsteps. It was you. He was sure of it. He heard the door smashed open, well, weren’t you full of energy today?

“ So unladylike. I could recognize your footsteps anywhere.”

He frowned when he didn’t hear any witty come back from you. Well? 

“ I.. I made your favorite dish..” you whispered, your voice trembling with each word as you tried to speak out loud.Why did you sound like that? “ Can… Can I see you?”

You wanted to see his pathetic self right now? You really had a bad timing, you’ll have to work on it, really.

“ No.”

“ Please…” you begged, it sounded like you were crying, why were you crying?. “ I was so worried… My father told me what happened–” 

“ What did he tell you?” His voice was colder than usual. He didn’t want you to know. He didn’t want anyone to know.

“ That… That you went hunting with your dad and–” you approached the bed and flinched when you felt his hand covering your eyes. So you were crying, he thought. He could feel your tears wetting the palms of his hands. “ Because of your father you- you have been hurt.” you cried, holding his wrist with one of your hands. “Alastor, I was so scared..!”

Me too, I was so scared.

“ Keep your eyes closed.”

He couldn't help himself. He hugged you. You were finally here. Hell was over for some time.  He wanted to see you so bad. He wanted to see you…

“Yes, I wanted to see you.”

“ Are you hurting?”

“ No. Remember Rules number two: I’m the strongest here.”

He smiled as he heard you laugh. Yes, everything would turn out nicely. He just had to be more careful. To be more observant. He would be the strongest for you. You’ll never have to worry for him to the point of crying. Nobody would keep your friendship from you. He sighed in relief, you were here…

“ I want to see your face.”

Mhn.. Well, as long as it is just his face. He stepped back and smiled at you. You didn’t have to worry.

“ Be my guest.”

 His smile widened when he saw your confused face. You must have thought he would have injuries on his face heh? 

“ You said you wanted to see my face, not my injuries.” he smiled cunningly at you while holding Eamon against his chest. 

“ Why do our deer have pink…red spots on him?” you tilted your head, stroking its fur.

Ah, right. His Mother had tried but she couldn’t wash all the blood he had lost on the fawn each week. Were you going to be upset ? He didn’t protect your fawn even though he told you he would take care of it. Were you going to be disappointed in him?

“ I’m sorry. I bled on him.”

He watched as you sat next to him and gently kissed his cheeks, resting your lips against his skin. Did you know it was the spot his father had punched weeks prior ? Of course, you wouldn’t know. He only could feel your lips, the pain in his back wasn’t there anymore. He squeezed your hand. He missed you… He missed this…

“ I missed you.” you both said.

He smiled softly, as you began to explain all the week he has missed. He felt his heart soared when you explained how you had made a scene so you could come and see him. He had to tease you, because if not, he felt like he would explode with happiness. You have missed him, his presence was something you wanted, he was important for you.

Unfortunately, you had to go.

Well, Hell is forever, right?

He went downstairs, keeping his hand around yours. You seemed so worried. He looked at you after your mother asked about his well being. Why were you so quiet ? 

“ I promise, I’ll see you soon.”

“ You promise? How do I know if you are going to be sick, or injured once again?”

Oh that’s why.

You were so cute. Unfortunately, he couldn’t promise to never be injured again, he would be breaking his promise tonight. What kind of promise could he conjure that would make you both ties to each other forever.

“ Let’s make a deal.”

He approached his face close to yours and kissed your forehead. You blushed and he couldn’t feel bad about it, red suited you.

“ You always kiss me good morning, so now, I’ll kiss you goodbye. Now, you owe me a good morning kiss.” he smiled at you teasingly as he took a step back. “ Do we have a deal?”

Please, say yes.

“ Deal.”

He smiled, now he knew that even though he would suffer because of his father, you would always come back to him, healing him without being aware of it. You were his special.. Something. You were the one painting a true smile on his lips. You were his special person.

Tag List: lukneetoonz @martinys-world @littlepoetnova @sirens-and-moonflowers @eris-norwega @tiredflame132 @mo-0-o @vvollerie @boogiemansbitch @sodavizz @tessemerick @slytherin4ever

[loonylupinblack3]

𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x driver!reader

Warnings: angst, swearing

Summary: could charles still love you, even after everything?

Word count: 2.6k

part 1

“Y/n calm down-”

“Don’t tell me to calm down,” you snapped. “My whole career is hanging by a thread. I can’t calm down.”

Lando sighed, rubbing his face tiredly. “I’m sorry, that wasn’t the right thing to say. But you need to breathe, because you’re turning blue.”

You reluctantly did as he said, because your chest was starting to hurt and you’d probably collapse if you didn’t. But as soon as you did you wished you hadn’t, because accompanying the breath was the sharp stab of grief.

What was happening? Two days ago, your world had shattered, every newspaper and website claiming the same thing; you and Charles had dated. It didn’t matter that it was past tense- people were still hurling insults your way, discrediting all your work just because you dated a boy.

Except he wasn’t just a boy. He was Charles Leclerc, driver for Scuderia Ferrari, and you were Y/n L/n, driver for Aston Martin. 

And now you were facing a possible investigation, because you’d kept your relationship a secret and both teams were worrying you’d passed information onto each other, so here you were.

Suspended.

“Can they even do this?” Yuki’s voice sounded enraged, and if you weren't as tired as you were you’d probably have felt warmed that you had people who cared about this as much as you.

Oscar looked up. “Is Charles suspended too?” 

You flinched slightly at the mention of your ex, but everyone either didn’t notice it or purposefully ignored it, which you were grateful for.

George had already started whipping out his phone. “I’ll ask Pierre.”

You stared at your four friends, all here to support you during this time, and felt a surprising amount of love towards them. If you had any energy you’d probably shower them all in your affection, even Yuki who would bat you away with a stick if you tried.

You laid your head in Lando’s lap, the boy immediately playing with your hair, an almost subconscious instinct by now. It was embarrassing how much time you’d spent in Lando’s lap over the past two days.

“Y/n,” Oscar said, passing you your now ringing phone. “It’s your mum.”

You groaned but rolled off of Lando’s lap, sitting up on your bed and grabbing your phone, taking a deep breath to calm yourself before answering.

“Hey Mum-”

“Stupid idiots! When I come down there- I mean, who do they think they are?! Ridiculous boys parading around as men. As soon as I get my hands on them-.but how are you doing Sweetheart? I know this must be hard.”

You let out a small laugh at your mum’s rant, one that threatened to turn into a sob so you silenced it. “I’m… I don’t know, really. Just trying to get through it.”

“Suspended! For what?! For fucking another driver? If anything he should be suspended, since it was his dick in you.”

You choked on a gasp. “Mum.”

“What? I’m just saying.”

You shook your head, shocked but also feeling slightly better. Your mum always managed to take your mind off things, even if it was by saying out of pocket things that, if you’d had your phone on speaker, would have made your friends gobsmacked. 

“Has he even talked to you about it?” Your mother prodded.

You sighed, feeling the insecurities that had been sticking to you like parasites, infecting you, come to the surface. “No, he hasn’t talked to me.”

Why hasn’t he? This was literally the worst case scenario for you, and he knew that. It was why you broke up in the first place. So now that your deepest fears have happened, the dread turned into something real, he was gone? Just like that? What happened to all the promises that he’d be there for you, that you’d get through this together? You knew you weren’t together anymore but shouldn’t they still mean something? 

Your mother continued her rant at your words, babbling on about incompetent people in power, stupid idiots, etcetera etcetera. You had to hang up on her when you saw Geroge’s less than pleased expression though, because obviously something had happened during the phone call to put him in this mood, because he was always annoyingly optimistic, even during this mess.

As soon as you put your phone down you demanded to know what happened, what George found out. He sighed, looking forlorn that he had to be the one to give you the news, but pressed forward anyway.

“Charles hasn’t been suspended.”

Silence followed his words. You didn’t even know what to say, your jaw working but no sound coming out. Charles wasn’t suspended? You were suspended but Charles wasn’t, for doing the same fucking thing?

“What the fuck?” Yuki burst out, standing up. “They can’t do this!”

“They can, mate,” Oscar said tiredly, rubbing his face. “They’re from different teams, and it was up to those teams to make the decision, not the FIA.”

Yuki kicked the side table, looking for all the world like he was going to storm the Aston Martin headquarters and demand they un-suspend you. You all knew why Charles wasn’t suspended and you were. It was the same reason it took you so long to get into F1, why you still got daily death threats and had to undergo a different training to everyone else. 

Because you were a woman.

Suddenly you were so tired. You’d been tired for a while, but now it was exhaustion weighing you down, a draining, crippling exhaustion you wanted nothing to do with. You were tired of worrying, tired of constantly scouring the internet, soaking up every insult directed your way. You were tired of missing Charles, a constant in your life now. Waking up and having your hand search for his body, only to find the sheets cold. Thinking about him every spare moment of the day, your mind straying to him against your will.

You missed him, and you wished he’d call. You regretted your decision, didn’t you? Since the secret came out anyway, except now you didn’t even have Charles to be there for you through it. It really was all for nothing, and here you were, stuck with the decisions you made.

Lando’s head resting on your shoulder snapped you out of your sulking. You looked down at your hands, letting out a sigh. None of the others were talking, waiting for you to speak, to see what sort of reaction you had before they did anything.

“I think I’m going to take a walk,” you said quietly. 

Yuki’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth, about to say something, when George elbowed him in the side, sending him a pointed look. Yuki scowled, rubbing his stomach but stayed silent, letting you leave with no complaint.

You were too tired to question their strange behaviour and left the hotel room, walking along the halls. You weren’t sure where you were going; you just needed to get out of that room, away from your friends’ pitying stares.

You eventually entered the elevator, deciding to visit the bar in the lobby where you’d drown your feelings in alcohol and hopefully receive a respite from this horrible nightmare you were living.

Except as soon as you exited the elevator, heading towards the bar, you realised you’d made a terrible mistake. Because there Charles stood, speaking in hushed tones with Pierre Gasly and making big gestures with his hands.

And fuck, his hands. It was probably a strange thing to focus on considering the circumstances, but it was the only thing keeping you from freaking out so you welcomed the distraction eagerly, eyes tracing each vein on his hand, remembering how gentle they could be when he wanted them to.

But then he looked away from Pierre, a frustrated expression on his face, and his gaze landed directly on you, and his eyes widened, mouth parting slightly as he stared at your figure. You panicked yet couldn’t move, swallowing thickly but unable to tear your gaze away from him as he continued to stare, looking dumbfounded.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

As soon as you regained control of your body you turned around, walking swiftly back into the elevator. You couldn’t do this today; not when you’d just discovered your career was at risk and his wasn’t, for the exact same thing.

Charles didn’t seem to be thinking the same thing as you though, because just as you pressed the button to your floor, the doors starting to close, his hand was there stopping the doors from closing, and then he was inside the elevator with you as the doors did finally shut, except now they felt like a death sentence, trapping you in there Charles.

“Y/n,” he said quietly, and oh.

Oh how his voice comforted you. Everything was shit, your whole career crashing down before your eyes, the thing you worked so hard for in the midst of being destroyed, but with one word from his mouth Charles somehow made everything seem slightly better. It warmed you, and you cursed yourself for it.

“Charles,” you replied just as softly, unable to help yourself. You longed for him like the sun longed for the moon, like the stars longed for the clouds. Polar opposites, unable to be together but fuck if you didn’t try as desperately as you could to make it work. To be with them even against all odds.

And then suddenly you were being wrapped up in Charles’ arms, apologies spilling from his mouth as he pressed you against him, grip tightening with every passing second. And you were just as hopeless, returning the embrace with a desperation you didn’t even realise you had, hiding your face into his chest, escaping from the world, feeling nothing but him.

He rested his chin on your head, eyes fluttering shut, hugging you tighter against him. It took everything in you not to start sobbing, to beg him for forgiveness then and there. Everything felt so fucking hard, and if you had to leave without Charles you weren’t sure how you’d cope with it. You never imagined having to do this without him.

“I’m so sorry Y/n,” Charles choked out, words muffled from where he pressed his face into your hair. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

You pulled back, quickly wiping away a stray tear before he could see. “Why are you sorry?”

“Because this is your worst fucking nightmare.”

Well, you couldn’t argue with that. It was your worst nightmare, except it was double the horror because you didn’t even have Charles by your side to help you through it.

“Why didn’t you call?” you asked instead. “Or even text me?”

Charles looked away guiltily, but he didn’t take a step back. If anything he held you tighter, like he thought you were going to try to escape him any minute. Little did he know you didn’t want to be anywhere but his arms right now.

“I didn’t think you wanted to see me,” he admitted quietly. “It’s my fault this is happening. We were too careless. I was too careless, and encouraged you to be as well, even though I knew what was on the line for you. This happened because of me.”

You were shaking your head before he even finished speaking. “Charles none of this is your fault. I knew what I was doing getting involved with you. Both of us are responsible.”

Yet only one is suspended, a vicious voice hissed in your mind.

You tried pushing it away, not wanting any bitter feelings to ruin the moment. Unfortunately Charles knew you, and he noticed the sudden shift, eyebrows furrowing.

“What is it?”

You swallowed, unsure if you should tell him or not. It wasn’t his fault he wasn’t suspended, he shouldn’t be blamed for it, but you couldn’t help resenting him a little bit for it. It was wrong, you knew that, but it was how you felt.

“I was suspended.”

Charles opened his mouth and closed it again, an unreadable expression on his face.

“I know,” was his eventual answer.

“And you weren’t.”

Pain briefly flashed across Charles’ voice, his voice strained as he spoke. “I know. I’m sorry. I tried to talk them out of it but they said because we weren’t together anymore the risk of secrets spilling was higher and-”

“You talked to them?” you asked, surprised.

Charles looked almost hurt at the shock on your face. “Of course I did, Y/n. This isn’t fucking fair. If I can help you I’ll do it, even if we’re no longer together.”

You kissed him then. You weren’t sure how it happened. You just felt this overwhelming warmth at his words, this feeling of love filling you to the brim, begging to be released but you didn’t know how to except with this. With a kiss worth a thousand words, telling him everything you couldn’t say in person, all your doubts and insecurities and love love love.

Charles kissed you back just as deeply, hands cradling your face like you were something fragile. Like you were precious, something he wanted to keep forever in his arms, never let go of. Like he loved you just as much as you loved him, even now. Even after everything. 

When you both pulled back there was a hesitant hope in your eyes. You’d understand if Charles didn’t want you again, if he just kissed you back in the heat of the moment. You’d hurt him, and now you wanted him back. It was understandable if he wanted nothing to do with you. It would break your heart, of course, but you’d understand and you wouldn’t fight it.

Except Charles was smiling, which wasn’t something someone would do if they were about to break up with you. Even though you weren’t even together.

“I love you, Y/n,” Charles breathed, cupping your face. “I understand if you don’t want to, but please, let me be with you again.”

Your heart gave a little squeeze. “You still want to? Even after all I did, after everything, you still want to be with me?”

Charles smiled, pressing his forehead against yours. “Of course.”

You opened the door to your hotel, hand in hand with Charles.

“Y/n, you’re back, we were starting to worry-”

Lando stopped speaking, jaw hanging open as he stared at Charles, distrust and confusion clear on his face. As if his silence was some indicator of danger, the three other men bounded into the living room, expressing similar shock to Lando at the sigh of Charles next to you.

“You bastard,” Yuki muttered, lunging forward to- well, you weren’t even sure what he was intending to do; tackle him maybe?- but Oscar grabbed the hem of his shirt, keeping him away.

Charles looked at them sheepishly, giving a little wave. “Hey guys.”

George looked at you. “So are you two dating again?”

You nodded silently, but couldn’t stop the smile forcing its way onto your face.

George sighed. “Fucking finally. Pierre had been harassing me constantly about it.”

“He was what?!” Charles squawked incredulously.

George, sensing he had made a mistake, kept his mouth shut. 

You didn’t care though. All you could care about was that you had Charles with you, by your side, and he’d be with you while you sorted this mess out, got your career back on track and made sure no team or media would fuck with you again. You had him for every moment in the future, every night as you went to sleep and every morning as you woke up. You had him for every race, every dinner, every anniversary.

That was all for the future though. Right now you just wanted to hang out with your friends, and your boyfriend, who regardless of everything that had happened was here with you. Who cared for you, loved you, wanted to be with you, even after everything.

[l0vem41l]

something's wrong with the morning.

「 tws + notes: no tws, unedited 2 the max, potentially ooc but WHO GAF (me. igaf), he misreads tone over text and it's totally not me projecting, bros just a little anxious and its totally not me projecting, richard "acts of service" grayson in the real, pretty heavily romantic implied but it can be interpreted as platonic becuz we fw that here!!!!! 」

「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic <3 」

↳ ft. richard "dick" grayson/nightwing

author's note: yes i am uh. doing More dc stuff. guys im really sorry but its literally leeching off my brain like a parasite i fear. enjoy!!!!!!! ♪(´▽｀) <3 the lyric below is what i based this off of but as usual, GENDER NEUTRAL READER!!!

"and how something's wrong with the morning / when he doesn't phone to say he loves me"

dick has been staring at the text since the minute he received it.

“gm.”

you sent two letters. and a period at the end.

immediately, there's a weird feeling he gets— a pit forming in the depths of his stomach as he reads it over and over again, as if he expects it to magically change in front of his eyes.

you usually send something… more in the morning. you greet him happily and use a silly nickname, he greets you and uses a silly nickname back. it's sort of tradition for the two of you, mainly built on the fact that him being a vigilante leaves very little time for the two of you.

so what the hell happened to that tradition? where’s his “good morning pookie!” or “hope you slept well, sunshine :]” that he's grown so accustomed to?

of course, he has to go on with his day like usual. at least, he's trying his best. to his credit, he does pretty well. after all, dick grayson is a performer at heart! even if it secretly feels like a part of his world just collapsed in on itself, he does not sulk about it.

but to the observant, there's obviously been a shift.

the slightly irritable mood he’s been in? definitely normal. the fact that he’s been swiping away every notification with disinterest if it’s not you? totally nothing.

more astute criminals in blüdhaven are a little off put by the fact that nightwing is still at full quip capacity while hitting just a little harder and being just a teeny bit more bitchy.

there nervous speculation going around that next week he'll be in the discowing fit

nightwing notices that his mask is slipping a bit. but does he care? well... not really. what's more important to him is what's going on inside his head. and he's been thinking— hardcore reflecting on every single recent previous interaction with you, looking back to everything that must’ve made things go wrong.

maybe he should’ve let you win that one argument last monday, even though he’d been pretty certain he was right because you really aren't supposed to stack cards in uno that way.

or maybe “anything’s fine” as a response to you asking what he wanted for dinner was the wrong move— he knew you hated when he didn’t help your indecisiveness.

was it the movie he picked for movie night on your hangout? fuck, that might've been it, you totally hate the main actor. how could he have forgotten?

either way, he’s dead set on the fact he did something to piss you off and now you won’t even greet him good morning.

later in the afternoon, you find a cute little basket on your doorstep containing your favorite flowers, your favorite snacks… and an apology note??

“dick,” you message, “what’s going on?”

he doesn’t reply back. instead, he calls you.

before you can even greet him, his voice chimes in with a whole spiel you didn't expect to be hit with.

“i messed up. i know i did and i should've done better. and i’m so sorry, i wanna make this work and i just— from the bottom of my heart— i really, truly apologize—”

you blink several times at your phone before interrupting. “oookay, woah, woah, woah. let's slow down. the fuck are you apologizing for?”

“...your message this morning.” he mumbles out, barely audible. you can hear the pout in his voice somehow.

“what? the one i typed up while rushing to work?” it’s hard to stifle your laughter. “dude, i just woke up a little late. i promise i still love you.”

he doesn't know whether to feel more relieved that you're not actually upset with him or embarrassed about the drastic, immediate measures he took to make things right. things being absolutely nothing, because obviously you weren't gonna be petty over uno rules, nondecisions, or movies.

"you should come over. we can share the snacks if you get here in time." click.

he'll be at your door the minute patrol is done. not for the snacks though it is a nice bonus but to see you. lord knows you need the time together.

— reblogs always appreciated!

[queen-of-the-avengers]

The Past Comes A Knockin'

Pairing: Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.7k

Warnings: angst, bucky threatening to kill people if you don't go to him

Summary: You've spent so much time running from the man of your dreams, the love fo your life. You found out something heartbreaking about him and now you run in fear instead of toward him. You should know by now that he will always find you whether you want him to or not.

Between Love and Hate Masterlist

Squares Filled: on opposing sides (2023) for @buckybarnesbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Then

Only that would happen in a movie. Pouring rain. A girl running to find the love of her life. Love confessions shared. Sometimes, you thought you lived in a movie. Any time spent with Bucky felt that way.

Bucky’s mansion sat on the top of the hill on the outskirts of town. The only people who went that way were either to see Bucky or because they made the wrong turn somewhere. The rain had not helped you see much in front of you but you still ran with purpose up to his big iron gates. Two armed guards stood outside of it to keep unwanted visitors away.

“I’m sorry, Miss, this is private property,” one of the men said.

“I’m here to see Bucky.”

Both men looked at each other before one of them placed his hand over his ear like he was talking to someone over his earpiece.

“Sir, we got someone outside asking for you… Miss, what’s your name?”

“Y/N.”

“Her name is Y/N… Yes, sir.” He nodded to the other guard who stepped back from the gate. “He’s waiting for you at the house.”

The gate started opening from someone with remote access, and you entered the property before you had a chance to talk yourself out of it. It seemed like the rain had gotten worse as soon as you stepped foot on his property.

No matter. It wouldn't stop you from doing this.

His mansion got bigger the closer you got to it. He knew exactly when you’d got to his doorstep because you didn’t have time to knock on the door. He opened it when you stepped onto the porch.

You were soaking wet while he stayed bone dry, safe inside his mansion.

“Fuck you,” you said, “for invading my head. I tried all week to get you out of my head but I can’t. I can’t stop thinking about you since we met so here I am like some desperate girl asking you out.”

He chuckles and you almost melt right there and then. He had such a dazzling smile and he knew it.

“You came all this way in the pouring rain to ask me out on a date?”

Bucky could say with confidence that he has never had a girl do all of this for him. Usually, he did the chasing. It was a nice change to be on the receiving end of it.

“Yeah, I guess I did,” you chuckled and squeezed out water from your hair. He continued to chuckle but this is not a laughing matter. “This isn’t funny, Bucky. You’re like a parasite.”

“Not the first time I’ve been called that.” He stepped out from his cozy mansion and joined you in the rain. “What if I say no to you?”

“I’ll make you say yes.”

“What if I tell you to turn around, leave, and never come back?”

“I’ll come back tomorrow.”

That was enough for Bucky to make up his mind. He grabbed you and lifted you into his arms. You wrapped all four limbs around him as a way to keep him close, afraid that if you let go, he would disappear.

He kissed you as he carried you into his mansion, not caring if he got water all over the ground. That was all he needed to make his decision: you’re his and only his.

Now

That moment seemed like forever ago. Times have changed since then but would you go back to it? Living in ignorant bliss seems like the best way to live but then you wouldn’t have all the answers you want—need. Life seemed so simple back then but you have to keep your head high and try to move on as best as you can.

So, you ran and ran until you couldn’t anymore. You found a college on the other end of the country where you felt like you could try and live a normal life—a life away from Bucky.

You found your passion in fashion design while away from Bucky. You find joy in making clothes and blankets for people and hope to be a big designer one day. This college is going to help you do that if you can maintain your sweet girl facade.

No one here knows about your past. No one here is out to get you. No one here is going to bring you back to him no matter how much your heart aches for him.

You only started college nearly a year ago so you’re almost done with your second semester of your first year. It’s been a quiet experience only because you don’t let anyone in. If you do, he might get to them in order to get to you. Since you left, you know he’s been desperate to find you and you’re going to try as best as you can to remain hidden.

If he does happen to show, you’ll be ready.

You walk on campus, heading to your first class when someone from your fashion design class jogs to catch up with you.

“Hey, Rayne, right?” You gave him a fake name like you did with everyone. You’re not stupid enough to give him your real name. “You’re in my fashion design class.”

Yeah, you recognize him. He has short dark brown hair that fluffs out on top with skin that looks like light caramel. He has a sharp jawline and dark brown eyes that seem to hold mysteries. He’s a few inches taller than you but built like a baseball athlete. Not too muscular but enough to make him look strong.

“Yeah. You’re Giovanni.”

“Gio. Only my dad calls me Giovanni,” he chuckles.

“Right. What’s up?”

“We’ve had the same two fashion classes for two semesters. I know this is bold of me but I think you’re beautiful. Would you like to have a drink with me? Maybe dinner this weekend?”

Going on a date with another man seems harmless but if he found out about it, he’ll kill him. Plus, you’re not sure if you’re ready to move on from him.

“I don’t know. It’s not that you’re not un-datable. I just have so much shit going on in my life. It wouldn’t be fair to you if I couldn’t give you my all, you know?”

“Will you be okay if I asked for your number?”

Again, if he finds another man’s number in your phone, he’ll kill him. Then again, you’ve been on the run for nearly a year and he hasn’t popped back up in your life. Are you done for good? Can you finally move on and live your life the way you think you deserve?

“Sure,” you find yourself saying.

What’s the harm? He’ll have your number and if you don’t want to respond, you won’t. You’ll even block his number if you need to. It’ll be awkward in class but you’re saving his life if you do.

He takes out his phone and gives it to you so you can input your number into it. He calls you immediately after you have his number before putting his phone away.

“I gotta go to class but I’ll text you later.”

“Okay.”

Gio runs off in the opposite direction to his next class while you continue to walk to your first one. This English class is a requirement for your degree even though you’re not interested in the subject at all. You’ve never been a writer or a reader, and you don’t have an interest in Othello or To Kill A Mockingbird. You read those books in high school. Still, you do your work and keep your head down like you have done every day for the past year.

About halfway through the class, an alarm bell sounds over the loudspeaker. Weird, you’ve never heard this alarm before. You’ve done fire drills, sure, but never with this alarm. The professor immediately walks to the door and locks it before pulling down every shade to cover the windows from anyone lurking outside.

“Alright, folks, that is our lockdown alarm. Until they give the all-clear, please gather to this side of the room and remain quiet.”

Every student gets up and huddles in one corner of the room, away from the window on the door. If anyone were able to look inside, they wouldn’t see a single soul. Is this a drill? Is this real? Are you in any danger? He’d never put you in danger but that only applies physically. He did a lot of damage to your heart and mind which is why you escaped from him.

Half the students are silent in fear that this is real while the other half are on their phones without a care in the world. You take your phone out to check the time when the loudspeaker crackles to life.

“Y/N… pisică, I know you’re here.” Your entire body floods with fear. “Come out, come out, wherever you are.” It’s no surprise he found you. He finds everyone eventually. Why did you think you’d be able to run from him? “I’ll be nice and give you five minutes to show yourself. If you don’t, heads will roll. Your choice. Time starts now.”

Everyone in the classroom is confused except for you--you’re paralyzed with fear. It takes you thirty seconds to break out of your shell and get up despite the professor calling your fake name. No one knows your real name is Y/N. No one knows he’s here for you.

You grab your bag from your chair and flee the classroom. With the halls empty, it’s easy to get to the stairwell fast. If you can get to your car in the parking lot, you can speed out of here and go someplace where he won’t find you. If you’d ever be so lucky to.

You walk outside and see multiple armed guards walking the campus in search of you. On one end are men you don’t recognize, but you do recognize the men on the other side. Sam Wilson and Steve Rogers. Bucky’s right-hand men. The two he trusts above everyone else. You need to be smart about this or your escape plan would have been for nothing.

You run down the stairs carefully and stay close to the buildings where there are bushes to hide in. If one of them looks like they’re going to spot you, you’d duck behind a bush and wait for them to pass. The parking lot isn’t far from your class but you still treat this as if it’s on the other side of the parking lot.

You sneak past Sam who has his back to you to the only bush separating him and your car. The parking lot only has a few trees but none of them are big enough for you to hide behind. If you want to get to your car, you’ll have to sprint and hope they don’t see you.

Sam scans the parking lot before turning away from it. You take this moment to book it to your car, hoping that he doesn’t turn and see you. You unlock your car by using the key to the door instead of the button because you don’t want to make a lot of noise. When you close the door, Sam turns back to the parking lot and notices you in your car.

If you happen to get caught, you have a knife in your bag that you’ll use. It won’t do good to the many guns Bucky and his men have but it’s better than nothing. Sam watches you peel out of the parking lot before tuning into his earpiece.

“Boss, I got her. She’s leaving the parking lot now.”

“Good. Follow her. I’m on my way.”

You push on the accelerator as soon as you hit the main road. It’s weird you don’t see any other cars on the road. Maybe that’s Bucky’s doing. Whatever. It makes for a quick escape. You look in the rearview mirror to see if you’re being followed and let out a breath of relief when you don’t. That is until you do, and fear spikes not only in your heart but your brain.

You don’t have a good car since you had to buy a junker with the little money you had for yourself. Bucky gave you a card to always use but the second you did, he’d have found you. To pay for the car, you’d take odd jobs here and there and always had them be cash, never checks.

The passenger’s window rolls down and a gun appears out of it. You duck down just as the person starts shooting at you. Well, the person is shooting at your car, not you. Bucky’s men are professional marksmen so it only takes two shots to puncture two tires. You grip the steering wheel as your car slides and skids to the side of the road.

Shit. You sustained maybe a few cruises from where your body hit the side of the car but you’re otherwise unhurt. You need to get out of here. You grab your phone and knife and leave the car. Everything else is replaceable. The car that was shooting at you is less than a mile from where you are but you can feel his eyes on you.

They’re far enough away that maybe you can run away from them. You turn to run the opposite way but another black SUV comes screeching to a halt in front of you. Maybe if you run into the woods on either side of the road, you might be able to get away. You run to the left onto to be stopped by Steve who looks as if he’d been waiting there for you. Behind you, two more men come out from behind trees. 

All of them with guns. All of them under Bucky.

The car that shot at you comes to a complete stop a few yards from you. The back door opens and Bucky steps out in a nicely pressed suit that should be illegal. He looks too damn good to be who he is.

“Steve, please let me go. Please!”

Steve doesn’t listen and ends up throwing you back into the middle of the circle. With nowhere to go, you turn to Bucky and grip the knife in your hand. When he gets close enough, you raise your knife to do damage to him but he is too quick for you. He takes out his own gun and points it at you, causing you to freeze in fear.

“Drop the knife,” he says calmly. You look around and try to think of a way out of this but he is one step ahead of you. As always. He steps closer and puts the gun to the side of your head, moving it down to your chin and lifting it so you can only look at him. God, he’s so tall. “Stop trying to figure a way out of this and do as you’re told.”

You have no choice but to listen to him. Seeing him again after nearly a year hurts your heart because you know you’re still so damn in love with him. You love him but hate the kind of person he is. He’s dangerous and ruthless and a killer.

“You won’t shoot me,” you confidently say.

“No?” You shake your head and he pulls the trigger. It’s a blank but the sound of the gun clicking is enough to send you right back into your pool of fear. “The next one might not be a blank.” He puts his gun away but his men are still on alert. “It took so long to find you. You’re getting creative with your escapes.”

“I’ll escape again. I’ve done it before.”

You’ve always been so amusing to him.

“I’ll deal with this when we get home. Get in the car.”

“No.” Bucky grabs your arm tightly enough to drag you next to him but not tight enough to leave bruises. He’ll never mark you like that. “What about my car?”

“I’ll buy you a new one. Steve, Sam, clean this mess up.”

Bucky puts you in the back seat of the black SUV before he slides in next to you. He has mansions all over the country so instead of taking you back to New York, he’ll go to the one he has right here in California near your college.

You honestly didn’t think you’d ever go back to the one place you tried so hard to get away from.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[bubblegumfanfictions]

Perfect to Me |Astarion x Fem!Plus-sized! Reader|

Fandom- Baldurs Gate 3

Ship- Astarion/Fem!Plus-sized! Reader

Warning(s)- fatphobia, negative thoughts about weight, mentions of Cazador, Swearing

Summary- Reader is upset after a rough day in Baldurs Gate, but Astarion proves that she doesn't need to be.

Word Count- 1,700

A/N- Sorry if this isn't perfect, it has been a while. But merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! (I also changed the name of the fic)

After a long and perilous journey through the Shadow Cursed Lands, The Underdark, and the Mountain Pass to gain allies you finally made your way to Baldurs Gate. The bustling streets and lively atmosphere was almost alien to you after so much time surrounded by nature.

The faces of your companions tell you all you need to know about how they feel at present. Disgust, Excitement, and Fear. You felt for Astarion, it must be terrifying returning to your old hunting grounds after so long, seeing the families of people he had condemned, but that wasn’t who he was now. You felt a fleeting sense of pride that your friend had promised the Gur he would help take down Cazador and find out what happened to their children– Whether they were alive or not is a whole different story.

Karlach on the other hand looked positively elated at being here. Her excitement was certainly infectious, You pause your thoughts and look over at the disgust on Lae’zel’s face, Well maybe not totally infectious. Although you did take note of a glint in Lae’zel’s eyes, she was interested but hid it well.

But even with Karlach’s excitement, you were nervous as all hells. You knew from experience that Baldurs Gate wasn’t a fan of people with your particular build (Well, unless you work in brothels or Burlesque shows but that is a different story.) Knowing what you know about Baldurs Gate you had prepared yourself before you left to expect some comments, looks and even some shoves.

You thought you had managed to keep your anxieties under control and to yourself but that wasn’t the case. Unbeknownst to you, while you were hyperanalysing everything out of nervousness, Astarion was keeping an eye on you. He’d never seen you so nervous- That might not even be the right word, terrified seemed to be the better term.

He didn’t know why you were so scared of everything. He had seen you take down an Orthon just so he could have the information that Raphael promised him. You didn’t have to do that but you did. When he asked you why you simply smiled and said “Because it was important to you.” So he didn’t understand your fears at all. Are you scared of big crowds? Of the idea that someone could jump you? No, thats not it, you’d look more alert than anything, not dazed.

After a few hours of walking around Astarion finally spotted what it was that was scaring you so much. He noticed the glares and whispers being sent in your direction. He was happy that you weren’t an elf because you wouldn't have liked the things he was hearing. He was physically restraining himself from ripping out these peoples throat. You were beautiful. Why couldn't they see that? Why couldn't you see that?

“Isn't she ashamed of coming out here?” Just breathe, Astarion. You'll be no good to the group in prison.

“She's much too big to be in with that lot.” Astarion kept his rage to himself, but he was sure the rest of his group noticed. After all you were connected by those wriggling parasites.

Eventually you all made your way to The Elfsong Tavern when the Emperor decided to reminisce about his time working with Duke Stalemane. Astarion didn't care though, not after noticing how vulnerable you looked, how upset and withdrawn you were.

He wondered if maybe you could hear some of the comments. Or if you were so used to the treatment that you knew what they were going to say.

Karlach barrels into the Tavern with all the grace of… well- Karlach. Finally getting to sleep in a proper bed for the night. Everyone was excited for it. After the trials they had all been through they deserved some much needed rest, even just for the day.

Karlach decided to go down into the Tavern to spend her night eating and drinking, Lae'zel went to the courtyard to practice. The group had discovered a temple with a link to Mystra and naturally relayed this to Gale so that's where he probably is. As for the others? You had no idea.

You took it upon yourself to kick your shoes off and practically face planted one of the beds in the room you rented, barely taking any notice of Astarion's eyes watching your every move.

The energy it took you to not burst out into tears in the streets had taken its toll on you, you were just ready to sleep.

Astarion moved over to you cautiously, for once he was lost for words. He didn't know what to say to you, should he acknowledge the elephant in the room or ignore it?

“Astarion? Are you okay?” You lift your heavy head to look at the handsome Pale Elf that was watching you. His eyes dance with uncertainty. He seemed deep in thought. “Astarion?” You say his name a second time and manage to catch his attention.

He shook himself from his thoughts “Oh, yes, Darling? What were you saying?” He thought his recovery was smooth but his discomfort still showed on his face.

You sit up and pat the spot next to you. Astarion smiled absentmindedly, even burdened by the thoughts of horrible people you were still thinking of others first.

Astarion sits next to you, “I'm fine, but are you. Don't think I didnt notice the way people were looking at you.” He paused, not knowing if he should let on that he heard what they were saying. “Or how they were… talking about you.”

You stayed silent, looking down at your hands. Like Astarion earlier you didn't know what to say. “You noticed that?”

He looked baffled, almost offended that you thought he didn't. “Of course I did! Why wouldn't I? This is you we are talking about Darling, it's so hard for me to not notice you.” He places his hand on top of yours.

The coolness from his hand is a stark contrast to the warmth of his words to you. “Tell me, why do you allow a few rotten apples to treat you so poorly.” He uses his other hand to brush some hair from your face that had fallen when your head lowered with sadness.

“Because its true. I'm nothing special, no one will ever love me the way I want them too. I'll be alone… forever.”

Astarion's heart shattered, he knew what it was like to feel so vulnerable, so self-conscious. He hated that your life in Baldurs Gate made you feel the same.

“Oh, Darling. I wish I could show you just how wrong you are. These people? This group that you brought together, they adore you, I adore you.”

“But why? I feel hideous.” Tears well up in the corner of your eyes, prompting Astarion to lift you chin with one hand and wipe your tears with the other.

“You are far from hideous my gorgeous gorgeous girl, I think you are beautiful, a walking piece of art. You do not deserve to be treated the way you are just because you don't fit in with their callous beauty standards.” The mixture of Astarion's kind words, the nasty glares, and your exhaustion caused you to break down, tears streaming down your cheeks.

Without missing a beat Astarion wrapped his arms around you in a clumsy hug. He could feel your shoulders shake as the tears (sadly) soaked his new doublet.

“You think I'm beautiful?” You sniffled, pulling your head away from his chest but maintaining contact. He may not be physically warm but his actions and words warmed you through.

“Of course I do. Why wouldn't I? I'm not blind, Sweetheart.” A soft smile painted on his lips. Astarion could tell that his words weren't really getting through to you, he knew that it would take a long time for you to finally feel good about yourself, but he can damn well try his best.

“But-” you attempted to say before Astarion shushed you, a finger gently pressed to your lips.

“No buts. I have been around for a long time, I have bedded more men and women than I can count. But you are by far the most beautiful being I have ever laid eyes on. You are so incredibly and unapologetically you and I would do anything in my power for you to see yourself the way I do.”

“But I'm not thin like other people, how can you say I'm beautiful when I look like this? ” He moved his finger down to your chin so he could tilt your head up.

“Because you are. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, you're the best person for me. I don't want to imagine a life with anyone other than you in it. I adore you darling. I love you and I want you to be happy and I would love for it to be with me.”

Astarion could see your expression change to a more hopeful one. “You love me?”

“I do.” He responds, his eyes darting down to your lips and back to your own again. “Can I kiss you?” The question slipped from his mouth before he could think. You nod your head, still shocked by the sudden confession.

He slowly closed the gap between your lips, when they finally touched Astarion could sense all of your worries melt away. His free hand squeezing the thickness of your thigh as you shared a loving kiss. Astarions fangs brushing against your lips and occasionally nipping them as the kiss deepened.

“Fuck yes! Finally!” You both turned your heads, seeing Karlach stood in the doorway watching as the two of you kissed.

“Man Gale is going to be PISSED. He owes me 60 gold.” She senses the awkwardness she had just caused with her entrance and sheepishly backed away “Don't let me stop you, I was just leaving.”

She slams the door behind her but you could hear her yelling that she was going to be a rich woman and that she knew she had an eye for romance.

The two of you just laughed. This was perfect.

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Magic Touch

Shimmer!Kane x afab!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • Kinktober 2024 Masterlist • Kinktober 2023 Masterlist • Day 12: Anonymous Sex

Summary: Kane's an interesting patient.

A/N: This was meant to be for kinktober 2023 (I'm so sorry). A massive thank you to @thexsanctuaryx for saving my butt yet again and beating. I've gone off topic really because I found it difficult and this is where the story seemed to want to go.

Warnings: hospitals, reader works in the medical profession, kissing, I'm gonna say a bit of dubious content (but everyone's into it, it's just the set up is a bit hmm), biting, touching, Kane making people come with just a touch, please let me know if I have missed a warning!

Word Count: 2065

Kane’s reactions to you after his ‘rescue’ were… interesting. 

You were part of the medical team that had helped to keep him alive, spending your spare time while he laid comatose running blood work for the constant tests that were demanded by strict looking army officials. You never got to see the data. The whole team was just being used for the grunt work while faceless others got to assess and ponder over the results. 

You’d managed to figure out some things though, despite all the cloak and dagger. Often sharing knowing looks with your colleagues when new tests were ordered by your shadowy bosses. 

Things started to get strange, or stranger, when he woke up. 

Psychiatrist tests that you weren’t a part of. Constant interviews with high ranking members from all different government agencies. Throughout it all you were told Kane remained neutral, emotionless. Watching the people speaking to him like a spider would approach an insect. A cold glint in his eyes. 

It was obvious that he had come back different. Changed. Someone else. 

You didn’t really notice at first, the looks he gave you. Sure, you were there to do a job, but you also remembered to have some bedside manner. 

You’d chat with him a little, or more accurately, at him while you took blood and vitals. And he would watch you, listen, nod, say the occasional word here and there.

Honestly, other than his quiet disposition, you hadn’t thought anything was that strange. You’d seen weirder just working at A&E on a Saturday night. 

And there was something kind of nice about it, about how he would listen. As if every word that came out of your mouth was important. 

It wasn’t until you were called into a sudden meeting with your team’s supervisor’s supervisor’s supervisor that things were put into a bit of perspective. 

The man, ‘Karl’ he had said his name was, but you were sure that was as fake as the smile he had given you when you’d knocked and entered his office. His fingers had been cold when he shook your hand, his grip a little too hard to be friendly. 

‘Karl’ had made idle chit chat with you for a few minutes while your own anxieties grew like parasites in your stomach before he finally got to the point. 

“You tend to interact with Kane every shift, is that correct?” 

You’d nodded. “Yes, pretty much. I’d have to check the logs to be sure though.”

He’d hardly let you finish before he was speaking again, obviously already knowing your answer before you had even spoken. “Yes, we’ve noticed some… abnormalities from the recordings.”

“Wait,” you’d cut in. You knew about the constant surveillance, that wasn’t so much of an issue, but you assumed there was some kind of accusation of malpractice. “Everything I’ve done has been following guidelines to the letter, the wellbeing of the patient is my top priority, if you’re implying that-”

“No, no, no,” ‘Karl’ had held up his hands, another fake smile on his face. “Not those kind of abnormalities, nothing like that at all. I do apologise, I didn’t mean to insinuate anything of the sort.” He’d paused, breathing in and seemingly revelling in the moment of anticipation as you waited for his next words. 

“The abnormality is Kane’s reaction and interactions with you.” 

“What?” 

“He seems to… converse with you. Talk.”

You’d frowned. “A little.”

“A lot.” He’d put his hands together on the desk. “A lot more than he talks with anyone else. We have a proposition for you.”

You said nothing. 

“Have a conversation with him, 45 minutes, it’ll be monitored obviously. Whatever happens… happens. If he doesn’t talk to you, that’s fine.” 

“What do you want me to talk to him about?” 

“Doesn’t matter, anything you want.” He’d smiled. “You’ll be well compensated financially, of course.” 

You’d said yes when you’d seen the actual figure, you would be a fool not to. Though, there just had to be a catch, didn’t there? That kind of money to just talk for 45 minutes? Not even to ask any questions? 

. 

The room several guards led you to the following day was surprisingly nice. Carpeted, painted in a soft grey with plush sofas. 

Kane was already in there when they’d let you in, locking the room behind you and not even setting foot inside. Like they were pushing you into the lion’s den. 

He was sitting on one of the sofas, facing away from the door. He looked around straight away when you entered and gave you a small upwards twitch of his lips when he saw it was you. An expression that would have been cold and detached on anyone else, but you had become used to Kane over the past weeks. That small movement was a warm greeting.

“Hello Kane.” You say as you sit opposite him. 

“Good morning.” 

You shift a little to get comfortable. “You okay?” 

He nods once, “very well.” This was the same reply he would give you anytime you asked. 

For a moment you look around the room, trying to see if you could spot where the cameras were. You couldn’t. 

“It’s nice to see you.” He says flatly, but you smile.

“It’s nice to see you too.”

“I usually spend my time in here with other individuals.” 

You pause, trying to read anything on his stoic face. “Others?” 

“I often have meetings in here.” 

You nod, waiting to see if he’ll continue. He doesn’t. “You… like the meetings?” 

He takes a moment to answer, seemingly staring straight into your soul. “I feel indifferent towards them.” 

You smile. “That boring?” 

Kane cocks his head to the side, but says nothing. 

“Do they give you anything to do, anything fun to amuse yourself I mean?”

He continues to look at you for a moment. 

“Books, tv, games?” You shrug a little as you speak, “art supplies?” Surely the higher ups didn’t just leave him with no mental stimulation. 

“Something ‘fun’?” He repeats in the same tone and you nod.

“Yeah, like a hobby?” 

“Talking to you is ‘fun’.” He says plainly.

You can’t help the little smile that pulls at your lips. “Yeah?” 

He nods, and shifts a little in his seat. His hands pressed neatly together on his lap. “Being around you is ‘fun’ also.” You’re so used to his calm, even voice but you don’t pick up on the slight change in cadence to his tone.

Your smile widens a little, “that’s nice to hear.” 

He watches you, fixated, his line of sight seemingly glued in place as you glance around again. Once more trying to pinpoint the cameras. It made no sense for them to be concealed surely?

“They removed them.” He says plainly. 

You frown, quickly turning back to him. “I’m sorry?” 

“The cameras. That’s what you’re looking for, right?” It was a statement, not a question. “They’ve been removed.” 

“What?” Your frown deepens. You’re sure Kane’s not lying to you, part of you isn’t sure if he actually could. “Why? Karl said that-”

“He told you this would be monitored.” Kane nods simply. “I asked for them to be removed.”

“Why?” 

“I assumed it would be… uncomfortable for you.” 

There’s an icy touch on the back of your neck, a shiver at his words. Some deep down basic sense of self preservation being activated. “What?” 

“People grow uncomfortable under surveillance, they react differently.” 

“Well… sure. I mean, you’re not wrong, it’s just…”

He cocks his head to the side ever so slightly. “It’s just?” 

“I thought the whole point of us talking was for them to, you know, monitor.” You shrug, not sure how else to phrase it. 

Kane nods, not in agreement, but simply to show that he heard you.

There’s a pause as he seems to be thinking over your words carefully, choosing the right response with a level of precision. 

Instead he stands and sits down next to you, his leg resting against yours. You frown a little, swallowing and taking a breath to question him as you shift to the side to put a sliver of space between you. 

His hand on your cheek makes you pause, freeze as your words catch in your throat. His fingers are warm and gentle as he tilts your head up and towards him, his pressure light as if he was worried he could tear through you like spider silk. 

For a moment he just looks at you, observing your features as if he could decipher some lost hidden knowledge. 

He leans closer and you know what he’s going to do before he does it. You’re not stupid. But for some reason you can’t get your body to move, to raise a hand, to shift backwards. He presses a soft kiss to your lips. It’s sweet, gentle. The kind of soft first kisses that only exist in teenage romcoms. 

Your senses finally snap back into your mind and you pull back, breaking the kiss. “Kane, wha-”

He moves forward, his eyes seemingly expressionless as he kisses you again. His grip on your cheek tightens, halting your effort to pull away for a second time. 

The strength of his grip surprises you, the way his fingers slide around to squeeze at the back of your neck. You can’t do this, can’t let him do this. This is breaking every patient doctor code in the book. Not to mention that the room still could be monitored, you’d lose your job. And probably worse. 

You try again to move away, to break the kiss, but his hand tightens. The strong muscles of his arms contracting as he keeps you in place. 

Frustration bubbles under your skin, covering the deep down urge to just relax into the embrace, and you do the first thing that pops into your head. You bite his lip. Hard. 

He groans. 

“Again.” He mutters, his voice thick. He rubs the bridge of his nose against yours, practically vibrating as he leans close for another kiss. He moves closer, pressing his chest to yours and lightly pushing you back against the sofa.

“Kane, I…” You swallow, trying so hard not to get caught up in the feel of him, the intoxicating lidded look to his eyes, how his body feels against yours. “I hardly know you, I don’t know you.

“You do. You did.” He says simply.

You practically do a double take. “What?” 

Kane doesn’t answer, leaning down and mouthing at your neck, licking and sucking until you shiver and a small pant escapes your lips. 

He slips his hand under your clothes, ghosting his fingers along your skin. 

You jump, “Kane…” You wish you didn’t sound so needy, so breathless. 

“Hmm?” He hums against your neck and drags his hand down, sinking under your waistband. 

You pull lightly on his hair, getting enough space between you and him so that you can press your lips to his. 

He groans, kisses you back with a deep hunger that leaves you breathless. He licks into your mouth, rolling and teasing your tongue with his own until you're whining and bucking up against him. 

A damp patch is starting to form in your underwear, and when he lightly touches your clit over your panties you gasp, your back arching. 

You expect him to stroke, to move his fingers. But instead, he presses the very tip of his forefinger flat against your bundle of nerves, firm but gentle. 

And suddenly your world falls apart. 

You tense, moaning and panting as you come suddenly, pleasure exploding behind your eyes and robbing you of thought as you convulse in his arms. Your body pulses, sings and you can’t do anything but hold onto him for dear life. 

He moves his hand a fraction as you come down, taking his lips from yours and smiling ever so slightly as you breathe hard. Sweat beading on your forehead as aftershocks run through your nerves.

“What was that?” You pant. 

“An orgasm.” He smiles a little bashfully.

For a second you think he’s being serious, but you tut and giggle when you see the crinkles at the corners of his eyes. 

“You know what I mean.” 

“Let me show you again.” He mutters, leaning closer once more and pressing a kiss to your cheek as he slips his fingers under your underwear this time.

Thank you for reading!

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[zer0pm]

Imagine Luis surviving his knife wound and you patch him up.

“¡Joder! That hurts, you know?”

“Don’t have anesthesia, I told you. Stop moving.”

“Right, sorry- ¡Ay, Dios! Are you stitching with a knitting needle or something?”

You had to hide your laugh under a scoff, thankful he couldn’t see your amused smile at his attitude.

Luis was leaning against a crate when you finally caught up to him and Leon. The latter informed you of their encounter with Krauser, the Spaniard’s injuries confirmed by pain-filled groans. Not wanting to waste anymore time, you had Luis moved to one of the metal tables near the mine’s exit and stripped him of his shirt and jacket. He weakly made a teasing comment about you using his injury to get him out of his clothes, but you ceased his attempts at jest by gently making him lay on his stomach and dove right into the task of treating the gushing wound.

Thanks to your meticulous efforts and the medicinal herbs that Leon keeps around in his case, Luis was stable in no time. Able to breathe a little easier, he instructed Leon to fetch the key from his jacket pocket, saying that the agent will need it to gain access to his laboratory on the island where he and Ashley will then use the surgical equipment to remove the parasites from their bodies. After assuring him that the both of you will be fine and will catch up after Luis is completely patched up and ready to go, Leon made his swift exit, leaving the both of you alone. Which brings you to this point in time- you suturing him.

“Should consider yourself lucky. Any deeper and the blade would have struck your heart. Then… well, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“You call it “luck”, my friend, but I like to look at it as divine blessing.” Here we go, this you have to hear.

Curiously you ask, “Oh, yeah? And how do you figure that?”

“Es obvio, ¿no?” he gestures with a wave of one of his hands that he was using to rest his head on. “An angel is healing me.”

You couldn’t stop your eyes from rolling, but there was no denying the warm flutter in your heart at his suave words. “Sweet talker.”

Luis doesn’t respond, but you can tell the man was grinning ear to ear from your remark. Aside from a few more Spanish curses and colorful complaints about the pain, the rest of the procedure went smoothly. Once the final stitch was made, you gently applied antibiotics over the freshly closed wound before covering it with a clean bandage. You notice the man shiver under your touch when you placed a hand upon his broad back to keep him steady.

“There. Now try to sit up. Slowly,” you sternly advised. “Don’t want you opening that up doing something insane.”

Luis mutters under his breath, “Supongo que no debería saltar sobre más gigantes…”

“What was that?”

“¡Nada!” He jolts upright into a seated position, wincing at the sudden move that surely aggravated his injury. You would have been incensed if you weren’t so concerned for his wellbeing. After a careful reassessment to ensure that the stitches didn’t tear under the cloth, you proceeded to secure them by rolling more bandages around his torso. Your hands glided against the firm muscles of his defined chest and back as you did this.

You stood within the cage of his legs as you worked and can feel the heavy weight of his eyes on you. There was a concentrated look you tried to maintain to quell the nervous energy beating inside at your close proximity to him, but it was a losing battle. Luis’ body was radiating with an inviting warmth and a musky spice that delightfully filled your senses. You want nothing more than to drown in him, but willed yourself to keep your distance, internally conceding to give him space to recover from his near-death experience.

“This is nice,” Luis comments, breaking the comfortable silence.

You meet his eyes with an inquisitive look. “You find receiving treatment from an almost fatal stab wound to be pleasant?”

“I was not stabbed, the knife was thrown. There is a difference.” the man corrected with snark grin and you would have returned the witty remark had he not continued with his line of thought aloud. “Just thinking that it’s been awhile since it was only the two of us. Leon is good company, mind you. Pero, uh, he lacks your appeal.”

A snort escapes you, secretly giddy from his praise. “Think you’re so charming, huh?”

Mild amusement glints his grey eyes. “Have I not been this entire time?”

You shrug playfully, “Your game could use a little work.”

He returns your jest with an exaggerated pout, “¡Ay, mi orgullo! Your words cut deeper than the knife that struck me.”

Your chest heaves in hearty laughter. You shouldn’t have found it hilarious, but Luis had this innate ability to make a grave situation something to poke fun about. It’s what makes him so endearing. While you try to catch your breath, you missed the look of pure adoration he wore as he took in the sight of your smiling face. His usual coy smirk gently curving into something softer. Eventually you finish patching him up and help him back into his shirt and jacket. The man grumbles that the fine leather was now ruined, earning you another heartfelt chuckle.

Once he was presentable, he beholds you , “Gracias. Guess, uh, I owe you one, ¿si?”

“Your life, I’d say.” you nod, tone cheeky and good-natured.

It was his turn to laugh under his breath. He takes your hand in his, relishing in the feeling of touching you again. Soft determination flashes in his gaze as he mentally mulled over your words with newfound hope.

“Take it then,” Luis says. “It’s yours.”

[sleepyparalysisdmon]

Ah! Love - Epilogue

Yoon Jeonghan isn’t told ‘no’ often - or ever, really. So, when his friends set him up to get turned down, his ego is shattered. But his friends didn’t realize they just introduced him to his new partner in crime. 

You can find the Ah! Love masterlist here.

Playlist: Ah! Love by Seventeen; Can’t Get You by Jaehyun; Bonnie & Clyde by Yuqi 

Word count: 700

Parts of this story will contain explicit content that's not suitable for minors, so MDNI.

This is a repost of a previous fic I did. It was one of the first fics that I ever posted on here and I wish I had made some different choices aesthetically. The content will be the same, it will just be a little prettier and more readable.

Y/N peers through the sheer white veil, a bouquet clutched tightly in her hands. She frowns. 

It’s because Jeonghan is laughing at her. “This feels like deja vu a little bit, Y/N.” 

“Why are you picking on me on today of all days?” Y/N whines, hand falling to her sides, petals falling to the floor as the bouquet hits her thigh. “You know it’s been a stressful day. Stressful week, even!”

Jeonghan’s laughing again as he steps closer. His hands lift the veil and he places a soft kiss on her lips. No one’s looking at them this time around. “I know, I’m sorry. There are just some good memories like this. I saw her put the veil on you after you caught the bouquet.” 

“I told her I was already married. I shouldn’t be the one with any of this,” Y/N grumbled, gesturing to the bouquet and veil. 

“You’re the maid of honor, you have to do whatever she says,” Jeonghan reminds her, putting a hand around her waist to pull her close. “How are your feet? And your back?” 

“Not great. I’m ready to crash,” Y/N slumps against him, trying not to get make up on his dress shirt. He’s lost the suit jacket hours ago and his tie is loosened. The whole look makes Y/N salivate a little. Instead she says, “I want some champagne.” 

“I know, baby,” he soothes, patting the top of her head. The DJ comes to the mic before he can say anything else. 

“It’s time for the bride and groom to cut the cake! Please gather around.”

Y/N and Jeonghan turn, mostly with Jeonghan’s help, to find the happy couple standing behind a tiered cake decorated with white and pink frosting. Minseo would not consider any other color schemes. It had to match the bridesmaids dresses after all. 

Y/N watches Minseo look up at her new husband, a finger wagging at him as she scolds him. He smiles good-naturedly, nodding along with her. She’s surely warning him to not shove cake in her face. Y/N doesn’t think Mingyu will. He’s too soft for Minseo.

“Weird, isn’t it?” She finds herself mumbling into Jeonghan’s ear

He giggles in her ear. “You could say that, yeah. Didn’t think I’d be at Kim Mingyu’s wedding anytime soon. Or at all if I’m honest.” They don’t say anything else as they watch the newlyweds cut the cake and share a bite, clapping loudly. Minseo looks pleased that she doesn’t have cake all over her face.

As soon as the crowd begins to disperse, Jeonghan is leading her to a seat and she drops into it, kicking off her heels under the table. “Better?” He asks, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, hands coming to her shoulders to rub gently. 

“Yeah. What would I do without you?” Y/N giggles. 

“Hey, that’s my line!” Jeonghan teases. 

Seungcheol approaches them with a wide grin and a plate in each hand. He hands one to Jeonghan and slides one to Y/N. She immediately notices that there are two slices and she looks up at him questioningly. Seungcheol laughs. “I know the rule by now. One for you, one for the baby.” He walks away without another word.

Jeonghan is chuckling as he sits down next to Y/N. “That is your rule now. Has been for a while now.”

Y/N places one hand on her stomach and picks up the fork with the other. “This baby is a parasite,” she jokes. Jeonghan knows it’s meant in jest so he just shakes his head. 

“I know. I feed your cravings daily, remember? That baby has some strange tastes already.” He lets her finish her cake and when she sits back in her seat, his hand lands on top of hers on her stomach, feeling her matching wedding ring underneath his fingers. “You know, Minseo will forgive you if you’re done for the night. The other bridesmaids aren’t six months pregnant and can handle it just fine.”

Y/N pouts, glancing over to the head table where Minseo and Mingyu are whispering between kisses. She looks back at her husband. “Maybe we can just sit here for a while?”

Jeonghan leans over to kiss her lips and it feels and tastes sweet. “Whatever you want, baby.”

[weirdthinkingdragon]

Shouldn’t Have Traveled

Yandere Diluc, x chubby reader x yandere Zhongli

Words: 5,700+

warnings: poisoning mentions, slightly descriptive murder, unwanted touch,  reader made fun of by others, physically clingy Diluc (you can pry that from my cold, dead, hands)

Took a pic of where the ending scene is for clarity. 

Sorry if anyone (besides Donna, Diluc, and Zhongli are ooc. Idk their personalities too well yet.

I’ve decided to leave Mondstat. Not for any reason anyone would think. It’s rather awkward and I’ll never admit the real reason to anyone. I can’t really stand being around Diluc anymore. Donna and other’s words are starting to get to me. 

What words? The scathing words of “He’d never like someone like you”. They say that’s due to my different appearance. The words never really hurt, but it’s getting irritating, and I’m unsure how much more I can hear them talk about it before I snap and deck one or more of them. That’s also why I can’t be around Diluc. Just seeing or interacting with him also brings up their words again.  

A few final things are being packed tightly into my large bag. My plan is to just stay at the hotel for a week or two and come back. Then again that plan might change, who knows? If somehow a job comes up and they’re welcoming, I’ll maybe live there instead. 

Thankfully I kept Mora saved up for a while and quit my job at Good Hunter. Being a cook there was exhausting too. One of Donna’s friends also being there obviously made things worse as she framed me for a lot of things, making the others not too happy with me. Think one of the only ones who do still like me is Barbara when they tried to frame me for making her food extra spicy. 

Another glance in my bag. Hmm… I’m a little low on things to drink on my travel to Liyue. Some grape juice would be nice, so I head towards Angel’s Share. 

The group of Diluc-obsessed parasites try to block me. 

“Yeesh, you guys still have a whole fence shoved up your asses? I should have known you have a poor tree up there now too. Sad it had to die for your personalities. All I’m doing is buying grape juice for travel.” I reply and give an eyeroll with it, entering Angel’s Share. 

Their insulted faces a sight to behold being the last thing seen.

A certain redhead was working, catching me by surprise. Really wasn’t expecting for him to be working instead tonight. Fuck. Ah, screw it. A last chat won’t harm anything. 

“Diluc?” 

His head whips towards the door instantly. His eyes zoning onto the bag I’m carrying. They almost seem to narrow. 

“I wasn’t expecting you to be working tonight.” I inform, sitting down in the free seat in front of him. My bag being placed onto the floor. 

Diluc places the glass he had in his hands onto the island and looks me in my eyes. “I decided to give Charles a break for the night.” 

“That’s one thing I admire about you-” His eyes widen slightly, meanwhile I mentally smack myself for letting that slip. “I- well- It’s how you treat your workers. Unlike many I’ve seen, you’re not as harsh with them, and more thoughtful.” 

I cross my arms and mumble “If only Good Hunter stayed the same, I would probably have stayed.”

He rather firmly slams the glass back on the island I didn’t notice he picked back up. “You’re leaving? Alone?” I could almost swear his voice slightly raised like he was worried. Maybe he is? Kaeya has told me he does care about others. As just said how he’s letting Charles have the night off. He  just doesn’t show emotions very well most of the time. 

“Yeah, I was planning on heading to Liyue early in the morning. I was hoping to get some grape juice for on the way there though. It would need to be in something portable. Bottles or even jars would be fine. Of course, I’d pay the fee for those too.”

Diluc’s frown deepens.  

The door open and closed, but I think nothing of it. 

“If you don’t have any, I could go find some and come back for you to fill them, if that would be alright. I don’t want to overwork you.” 

He shakes his head. “No, that would be fine. Believe it or not, it’s not the first time someone has asked for transportable items to be filled. I’ll work on it. You won’t have to worry about carrying them since I’ll be coming with you tomorrow.”

Wha- no! The whole reason I’m leaving is involving him!

“That’s alright. I couldn’t ask you to do that. You’re quite a busy person as it already is.” 

His eyes narrow at me. “I’m not taking “no” as an answer. I’m going with. You need a guide.”

His tone scared me a little, I won’t lie to myself. 

He crosses his arms and closes his eyes for a second, taking a breath in before looking at me again. “You don’t even have a vision. You also don’t know where you’re going, and I am worried, whether you believe it or not. I also was planning on going to Liyue as well to visit someone close to me.” 

I hate everything he said was nothing but logic. I would just ask him if I could ask a knight or something to come with, but knowing his strong dislike for them, it would be a bad idea. 

It stays quiet between us for a minute. 

“... Why don’t you go rest up for the night? It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.”

I wonder if I could get far enough before he could catch me if I left tonight.

“You’re giving away what you’re thinking. You better not. I will catch up. Don’t test it.” 

Ugh, fine. I’m still worried since he’ll be tired tomorrow. 

While leaving, the group comes up yet again with bottles in their hands. The door opening and closing must have been a friend I didn’t notice was there. 

They hold out the empty bottles towards me. 

… are they serious? What makes them think I’d trust them? They probably put poison or something in these. Doesn’t help they’re not see through. Yeah, no. I’m not using these. Their smirks are just making me more tired and not wanting to deal with their shit.

“Oh, you guys already know I’m leaving? Uh, thanks…” I take them, already knowing they’re going in the trash. 

“Just a little goodbye gift~” 

Wow, how thoughtful. 

They leave giggling. Probably from malicious intentions. 

“Would you like me to take those, (Y/N)?” suddenly asked a voice. I turn to see Charles. 

“You haven’t left yet?” I asked him. 

“I stayed to clean up a few final things in the back. It’s not my place, but I don’t trust what those women gave you.” 

I glance at the 3 glasses in my hands again. “That makes two of us. Are you sure they won’t be dug into by the cats and dogs around? That’s my main concern if I throw them.”

“I can assure they will be taken care of properly.” He informs. 

I mentally shrug. Eh, whatever. He’s reliable. I pass him the bottles and go to my house one final time. 

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I feel a hand on my shoulder as I prepare to exit to the bridge with Diluc. Diluc’s not here yet though. Oh archons, if I ever come back, I’m not going to ever hear the end of I took their “precious Diluc”. Turning around, it’s Venti. One of the closest friends I made here, and only ones left. His face is far more serious than I’ve ever seen it. 

“... Stay safe out there,” He cautiously looks around. I do as well, and the nuisances are not around for once. Diluc however is seen with his own bag coming up. “Especially from him.” He quickly takes his hand off before Diluc could see. 

Diluc glares at Venti while walking up to me. “We better get going.” A hand of his is on my lower back, gently pushing me forward. 

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Numerous quiet hours pass, and my feet are starting to kill me. I’m starting to think Kaeya lied to me it was an easy day trip. 

Looking at Diluc, he doesn’t even seem to be the slightest bit uncomfortable. The only noticeable thing is the bags growing under his eyes. 

I’ve been trying to think of things to make it less awkward, but nothing comes to mind. He hates small talk. 

“So… should I find a way to message you or something if I want to come back to Mondstadt?” 

Diluc stops for a moment. “... I’ll inform who I’m going to meet.” 

Okay. well, that was a good talk, I guess. 

About an hour later, I’m at my limit. Curse everything and whoever created pain. My feet are going to be sore for weeks at this point. How the hell do people wander like this? 

Diluc still stays vigilant and glares around at every direction like something will pop out. I’m more worried about him collapsing from exhaustion than anything. 

… why do I feel like I still would before he would at this rate? 

“When should we set up a small camp for rest for a while? I only brought my small one for more easy transportation, but I think we could both squeeze in.” though I’d much rather not. 

It’s already near sunset. Holy fuck I’ve been walking ALL day. 

Diluc gives a stare off into the distance in though,, then nods. “I’ll get some firewood.” 

I nod and dig out the tent. Fortunately, slamming the sticks in deep enough was pretty easy and I remember how to set it up from camping with a few friends years ago. 

Diluc comes not long after with an impressive amount of wood, and drops it onto the ground not far from the tent. He piles a few together and scrapes dirt into a pile around it. He then lights his claymore and holds it onto the wood until it starts to burn. 

I begrudgingly have to admit having someone with a pyro vision likely makes traveling a lot easier.  

We both crawl under and it’s so phenomenally awkward. Him closer to the back and I in the front. It’s really crowded just between us. We’re both just staring awkwardly at each other in the eyes. 

… something drops onto the tent. Then another, then several- it’s raining. How did we not notice that sooner? There was no point in making a fire. 

Nope, it’s now already pouring. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” I mumble, but the close proximity likely made him hear it. 

“I never need an umbrella, so I’d be fine. Hopefully the temperature won’t drop too much.”

The temperature does rapidly starts to drop though. Now I’m wishing I brought a second blanket with. My arms get tucked together, trying to keep a bit more warmth. 

Arms grab my sides, making me let out a surprised noise. “Wha- Diluc! I’m not sure if-” 

“Don’t care,” His arms quickly wrap around my back, squeezing me close. “I’d rather you not get sick while we’re on our way.” His great smelling cologn from proximity hitting my senses hard. 

The heat that rushes to my face is even warmer than the warmth radiating out of his clothes. 

“Uh…” What the fuck am I supposed to say? “Ooh this is nice!”??

It’s definitely not! Ugh, why did he have to be the one for this? I should have lied about when I was leaving… 

He tightens his grip when I uncomfortably try to squirm free. “Quit. Moving.” 

I stop and mentally sigh. It better not rain again tomorrow night. 

He never loosens his grip.

------------------------------------------

The tightness around me while slowly coming back makes me try to squirm free again, while the memories of last night catch up.

Diluc’s arms tighten more than last night. Looking at his eyes, he appears to still be asleep. 

The way I’m so torn between enjoying this, and being disgusted is wild. Donna’s words trying to come back. Thankfully the little I know about Diluc is he will never talk about this out loud, even with a blade pointed at him. 

For a second, I wonder if I should wake him or let him sleep. But he should probably get ready to get back to Mondstadt ASAP. 

Well, since it’s not raining anymore, and I’m still uncomfortable at this, I’m waking him up. 

Fortunately, my arms are free. I reach up and shake his shoulder. “Diluc, it’s time for us to continue.” my feet throb in protest at the idea. 

He lets out a sigh, almost like he was disappointed. He lets me go and I roll off onto the ground, then getting up. Checking my bag, it thankfully stayed dry.

I pack my bag back together, and we head off again, much to my feet’s displeasure. But from Diluc informed me earlier, we should be about halfway there. Luckily we’ve only encountered some hillachurls, and he gets rid of them so easily it makes me almost feel bad for them. 

The sights have been beautiful though. Almost to the point I could ignore the still-growing pain in my feet. 

“Here.” 

I turn to notice a clear bottle of grape juice handed to me and take it, finally realizing I haven’t drank anything in a while either. I drink it quickly. 

“It’s better to stay up with fluids and food for long travels. I’ve… learned my lesson before.”

Well, that’s a can of worms I’m not opening. In speaking of bottles though… “Sorry to change off that, but did Charles give you three that weren’t clear?”

Diluc frown gets worse. “He did, and told me how Donna and the others gave you them,” His voice dipped like he was disgusted even thinking about it. “Had them drink from the poisoned bottles they gave you. Unfortunately, it won’t kill them, but it better make them think twice about their actions. Next time I won’t be so lenient.” 

So they were poison- wait, what??? He’s fucking insane! I mean, sure, they were pretty bad and wanted to poison me, but poisoning them back isn’t right either! I force myself to stay calm. I can’t outrun him anyway, and I don’t know where I’m going either if requiring to leave the path. This does open my eyes more on him though. 

A secret part of me is touched he did such a thing for me though. 

“That’s a bit far, isn’t it? Couldn’t you get in trouble for that?” 

“I have my connections if they decide to try anything.” 

I shrug. Eh, whatever I guess. I am still staying a bit away from him, which he seems to notice. He comes over and grabs my bag, pulling me right beside him. 

“I also don’t think me being this close is necessary.” 

“You’d be surprised how quickly an ambush could happen. Especially if we encounter a ruin guard or abyss mage.”

Fat chance a ruin guard would be on the main path. Even I know that. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Yet another day already flies by. I plop my backside onto the ground, take my shoes off, and rub my worsening sore feet. “Ugh, I’m not usually one for complaining, but holy Celestia my feet hurt. Smack Kaeya for me next time you see him for lying it was a rather short trip.”

Diluc jabs the stake quite deeply into the ground and is setting up the tent this time. “I’m surprised you got this far without complaining. If it’s really bad though, do you want me to carry you tomorrow?” 

Gods no. I could never deal with that embarrassment if anyone traveling were to see it. “No. You’d have a lot more to carry than just your bag already. Me and my bag is too much to ask.”  

He gives me a look I can’t understand. Kind of annoying it’s always been rather hard to understand whatever he’s feeling since he hardly shows it. 

“It wouldn’t be.”

“I’d rather not test it. Besides, we should be there by tomorrow noon, right?” 

He nods.

Looking at the darkening sky, it’s likely not going to rain this time. I glance at the tent, not wanting to stand up and walk to it. 

Diluc seems to notice and comes over, crouching down. An arm wraps under my knees, making me instantly realize his intention. “Wait- stop! I can do it!-” 

He puts his other arm behind my back, and easily stands up fully. “Don’t struggle.” 

I feel like I’ve heard stuff like that more the past few days than all my life before combined. 

He places me down on the blanket and sits next to me. Too close next to me. Honestly? I’m too tired to really care at this point. 

An arm wraps around my torso, keeping me closer. What is his obsession with touch!? He never is with anyone anymore, not even his own brother! 

A very gentle squeeze to my stomach makes me whip my head to look down at his hand. 

??? When did he take his glove off!? 

“... I’ve heard what many have been saying. If moving is really what you want, I can’t stop you. However, if you ever wish to visit again, both the Winery and Angel’s Share are always open for you to stay. As for me, I’m angry what they’ve been saying.”

I can’t look at him. I should have known someone like him would so easily catch on.

I begrudgingly have to admit his shoulder is a lot more comfortable than the ground. At least not laying on his chest this time. 

“Who do you have to see, anyways?” 

“Someone you could say I’m very close with. I have something urgent to discuss with them. 

I let out a light chuckle. “Wonder who in the Teyvat got the attention to be cared about by the great Diluc. I’ll surely have to meet them.” 

“You will sooner or later when in Liyue.” 

Not going to tell me? Alright, he can keep his secrets. Not like he has a lack of them. 

----------------------------------------------------------------

I could kiss the dock we’re walking on to enter Liyue. The guards stand down pretty quickly upon seeing Diluc, so they likely know him. 

We get to a hotel and both order rooms. Diluc disappears not too long after, and I stay in my room to rest. I wonder if I should ask someone a tour of Liyue since I know very little about the place. 

But first, some rest.

Several hours later, I’m wandering around again, more refreshed. There seem to be a lot of great restaurants to try. 

“Hey partner! I reckon you’re new here? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around before.” 

I turn around to see someone with two ponytails walking up to me. She feels rather friendly, but still got my guard up a bit just in case. 

“Is it really that obvious?” I ask. 

“Yeah, But you don’t have to worry. We get a lot of people from all over visit here. So, what were ya lookin’ for? I might be able to help.” 

“I was trying to think of where to eat something, honestly. But uh… I’m not really sure what’s right to start with.” 

“That’s easy! You can try something at Wanmin Restaurant! I’m sure my friend there would love to figure out something ya might enjoy! C’mon!” She gestures for me to follow her. 

It doesn’t take long to get there, and there’s a girl cooking very enthusiastically. 

“Heya Xiangling! Got a new friend here for you to figure out what they’d like.” 

She whips her head up. “Xinyan! Ooh, a new person, huh? Where you from!?” 

“From Mondstadt.” 

How hyperactive can someone get? She somehow gets even more excited at the news. 

“Mondstadt!? Ooh! Just let me finish these orders, and I’ll try something you’d like!” 

Sooner than later she finishes, and makes something else I’m confused of, especially from never seeing such ingredients being used in food before. 

… Eyes are on me from behind. I decide to ignore it. It’s probably just someone curious or rude and not worth my time.  

Xiangling passes me something finished I’ve never seen before. I’m a little reluctant to try it, but eventually do after a moment’s pause. It’s delicious. 

I say so and nearly scarf it down. 

They smile back at me. 

“I guess you got another to try your new foods!” Xinyan pipes up. 

Oh hell yeah, I’m willing to try others she makes.

I jump out of my skin as a hand rests on my shoulder that isn’t Xinyan’s or Xiangling’s. 

“Oh Hey, Zhongli! Been a bit. Ya able to show the newbie here around Liyue? You’re a lot better at that than anyone.” 

“I would gladly show a tour around Liyue. I suppose it’s not unknown for me to be the one to do so anymore. Thankfully I’m free to do so now.” 

Hot damn that voice. Dude, don’t stop talking.  I turn to look at the man who was-

… I don’t like how he’s looking at me. It’s not aggression, disgust, etc. It’s more like wonder? Fascination? Something more like that which worries me worse than something negative or neutral. 

He offers his hand to me. Is it to give a handshake or to help me stand up? I reach out to grab his hand. I guess I’ll find-

He grabs it gently, and brings it to his face, kissing the back of it. 

Aw fuck, it was the weird 3rd option. Well, he’s a gentleman at least. 

“Are you ready for the tour, my dear?” 

My- my dear??? A little quick on the draw, Doesn’t he think? 

I stand off the chair. “Yeah! Even though I just got here, I can tell I like it here already.” 

He smiles like he’s very proud of that.

---------------------------------------------------

Great. I have a bad headache now with everything he’s tried to show and inform to me. This feels like something that should have been spread a few sessions. It was great to know, and I enjoyed it all, but this is too much. I can’t decide if Zhongli talking is helping or worsening the pain. 

I rub my forehead. Well, at least it takes away the pain in my feet. “Zhongli?” I cut him off on yet another story of information overload. 

He stops and looks at me. “I’m sorry to cut you short. I really like everything, and am totally down to know more, but it’s too much in one setting for me. Would you… maybe be free to continue tomorrow?” 

His eyes widen slightly. “Ah, I do apologize. I suppose giving more than just the best tour spots was too much. It appears to have given you a headache. Would you like to come to my place for a bit? I have some tea that would help.”

How about No? Have you ever heard of “stranger, danger”? Seriously, I could be a thief or you could be a murderer for all we know. 

“I’m good. Thanks for the offer, though. Just really want to go to bed.”

“Fair enough. Shall we meet at Wanmin Restaurant again tomorrow?” 

I nod and turn to head to my room. 

“See you then, (Y/N).”

A chill comes over me. Could have sworn my name was never mentioned with him. Or maybe I did? Ugh, head says no thinking. 

A group of girls come up to me. “You know, someone like you shouldn’t be interacting with someone like Zhongli.”

Ugh, seriously? He was just showing me around. He really seems to love this place and know the insides and outs. And they should shut up. Their voices are grating my nerves.

A shorter, younger looking woman with them rolls her eyes and almost seems to be playful about it. She comes up to me. “Hey! I’m Hu Tao! It’s nice to see a new face around here!” 

I blink a moment, trying to register how she’s super friendly to me already. Trying to sense if she’s just doing it to stab me later, I can’t feel anything off about her. Her being genuine makes it more jarring. Still keeping guarded though, I smile back at her. “Name’s (Y/N). Visiting from Mondstadt.” 

Hu Tao gives a massive mischievous smirk, like she knows something bit I don’t. “Mondstadt, huh?...” 

“What’s that look for?” I ask. 

“Nothing~”

----------------------------------------

It’s finally around noon when I exit my room. Something from the side jumps out. 

“Ha-what- Hu Tao! What was that for!” 

She giggles. “Nothing serious! It was just funny! 

Yeah, so funny to scare someone just exiting their room. 

“So what are you here for?” Might as well change whatever that was about. 

“To see how you like Liyue so far!” 

I was… not even here for a day? “Well, good so far. Though Zhongli feels a little odd.”

Hu Tao gives me the same massive smirk. “I Don’t know… I think Zhongli sure likes ya!” 

I try not to laugh at the impossibility, but the bark of a disbelieving laugh still comes out. “Yeah right. Not even in my dreams could that happen. I mean, look at him, and look at me.” I joke, while in the proximity of some girls making fun of me earlier. They’re around too, so may as well give them what they want, though it probably won’t help. 

She shrugs. “So? You’d be surprised!”

Thanks for the hope, but no. 

She runs off without another word. 

“I hope you’re well rested?” Inquired the too-familiar voice of Zhongli. 

Oh for fuck sake I just woke up for all this.

“Yeah. Weren’t we going to meet later, though?”

“A friend of mine informed me You’d be around here. With your headache from last night, I guessed it was going to take you a long rest before leaving. Would you like to eat somewhere before we continue where we left off?” 

My stomach growls in agreement. Ugh, stupid thing. “Sure. lead the way.” 

We reached a different restaurant.

One of the girls from before “Hey, look out everyone, they’ve come to eat all your food!” 

Yeah? And what if I do? I’ma nibble all your food for making fun of me. May you always have a mysterious bitemark in everything for eternity. 

A hand is placed on my shoulder. “I would like it if you’d refrain from such vulgar outbursts about someone innocent who’s come to visit Liyue.” Zhongli pipes up. 

The woman’s face was either red with embarrassment or anger at me. Maybe both. 

He lead me to a different one instead, and we ordered. 

I notice he keeps looking at me while we eat. What? He got a staring problem? I’m getting mixed signals of what he’s like. 

Someone came for the mora for our meals. 

Zhongli couldn’t seem to find his, making me nearly facepalm. Whatever, he’s a good man so far, as paying is just a favor for his touring I guess. 

“Ah, there. I apologize it took a bit to find.” 

The waiter didn’t seem to mind and left. 

“Well that sure took a bit to find. Having a hard time remembering where you put your mora doesn’t make sense to me.” I tease.

He nods at me. You’d be right. Thankfully someone very close to me has been watching out for my forgetfulness.” 

Good thing someone is for him.

He showed me the rest around the harbor, and even some grounds out of it. One place being the strange really tall statues by the thing in the sky, named the Jade Chamber I guess.

It was starting to get dark out.  

Zhongli looks over to his right, then stands in front of me. “Apologies, but I will have to cut this short. I need to… take care of something important.” 

His voice dipped into something that almost seemed to show anger. Yikes.

--------------------------------------------

I was still restless after hanging out with Xiangling for a bit again, and left right out the town. It should be safe enough being so close.

The giant statues are visible all the way from here.

A pungent smell hits me as I walk the path. My eyes catch sight of a fight not far up ahead, making me hide behind the rock wall to make sure they wouldn’t see me. I peek up to see

!? Diluc and Zhongli… KILLING people!? The moonlight clearly showing their faces. Neither have psychotic smiles, making it all the more unnerving. Multiple dead Treasure hoarders dead, while one of the women that made fun of me already lying on the ground presumably dead too, and being burned. The pungent smell likely their burning flesh. I can’t believe they’re killers!” 

Zhongli pierces through the chest of the final woman still standing is the one who made fun of me earlier. She opens her mouth to scream, but Diluc covers her mouth.

“Surprised you’re helping. Doesn’t your contract prevent you from harming your Liyue people?” 

“That would normally be the case,” Zhongli then easily pulls his spear from the now corpse of said woman. Her body flops to the ground. 

I’m frozen in my spot. I want nothing more than to move, but my body won’t let me. 

“But that’s a good thing many don’t fully read contracts anymore. They broke my contract I made with them. They originally weren’t Liyue people. I could already tell from how they were not too kind to Liyue by making snide comments that they were nothing but trouble. The contract involved no demeaning remarks anymore, or they shall be removed from Liyue one way or another. It’s not hard to tell where they must have skipped. And they tried to damage Liyue’s newest, finest jewel.”

What the fuck does that mean!? I have to get out of here! Come on body! move!

Diluc sets fire to the corpse. “Suffer the wrath of the rock. Much better than that nuisance of a bard’s.” 

“I agree. I do also admit, I wish you could be here more often than around him. You’ll have plenty of time though. As for making you and our dear like me, that’s still a work in progress. Are you still sure you want to go through with it? Immortality can cause mourning of losing many.”

“I’m not close to many anyways. You’ve not been to Mondstadt, but outside of my work, I’m not well liked by many. They’re not exactly quiet when speaking their opinions. Besides, (Y/N) is in the picture now.” 

Me!? Their behaviors make so much sense now. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck! I REALLY have to leave! 

My body can finally move, and I take a slow step back. Hiding might be the best option since there’s no way I’ll be able to outrun them. 

*Snap*

Their heads whip towards the sound. 

OH MY GODS WHY WAS A STICK THERE!?

I can only hope they think it’s not a human. I hold my breath.

“In speaking of our dear, come on out. It’s safe now. I saw you try to hide earlier.” 

I don’t move. 

The sound of long strides comes towards me. 

I don’t get time to try to bolt before being grabbed by my wrist tightly, but not enough to hurt. My eyes get locked with Zhongli’s, who seem to almost glow a bright golden yellow.  

Diluc comes behind and rather loosely wraps his arms around me, his heat radiating off onto me with his close proximity. It slightly tightens before loosening again. A warning. A threat, showing he won’t hesitate to tighten his grip if I try to struggle free and run. their colognes combining almost making me dizzy. They’re not bad, but both at once is powerful.   

Zhongli reaches his hand and folds it under my chin, making me look up at him. “You must be quite lost, dear. I said we wouldn’t hurt you. And that was a promise.” 

He brings his face to mine and kisses my lips. I was so shocked I didn’t think of biting him until he pulled away. “Now, let’s get back, shall we? I’ll inform of what went on here, then I’ll join the both of you in cuddling. I’m patient, yet I cannot wait.” 

I should have just stayed in Mondstadt.

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An: I’m sorry I made Diluc so physically obsessed or it seemed too repetitive to a point. I like to think due to his past, he’s touch-starved to the MAX. He just only shows it to a rare few how much he craves it. Yandere Diluc being even worse. That and I’m rather self-projecting of wanting my favorites being so obsessed with touch with reader lol. 

Not my proudest work, but screw it. Debated whether or not to post it lol. Was trying to write a more self confident chubby reader since apparently a lot of people are annoyed when they’re not. Even though I’m not self confident at all. Oh well. 

Also, writing full fics still feels like pulling teeth

[yellowcry]

Here we are

"If there's anything wrong, just leave it to me!" Wink "I can deal with..." Drip The sound cut off Luisa. And wake Mirabel scared once again. Extremely loud dripping, rang in her ears, sending cold waves down her spine.

Body horror warning

Mirabel leaned against the rails. Antonío's ceremony, the cracks... It swirled in her head like a painful drum. Too many things happened yesterday. Magic dying.. The thought made Mirabel gasp for breathe. 

"Hey, sis?" Mirabel winced at a low-pitched voice. 'Luisa' her mind registered. "About the yesterday..." Mirabel looked up, with how tall Luisa was she needed to lift up her head as much as possible. Luisa bit her lip, clenching her fists together.

she, blinked. "Do you know something?" Somewhere inside her soul, she felt delight crawling out of the ground. Dolores could've known something, and if Luisa...

Luisa's eye twitched. "NO!" She yelled way too fast, making Mirabel startle. Just an instinct, when somebody yells it's usually her fault. Her breathing quickened in panic. Luisa stated for a second, before her shoulders relaxed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." The older sister smiled, looking down at Mirabel. "I just meant to say," A muscular arm wrapped around her chest, pulling Mirabel up. Physical affectionate as always. "If there's anything wrong, just leave it to me!" Wink "I can deal with..."

Drip

The sound cut off Luisa. And wake Mirabel scared once again. Extremely loud dripping, rang in her ears, sending cold waves down her spine. Like her own bones, her core was crating it, rather than some outside source like Tía’s rain clouds drizzling over with anxiety that gripped onto Mirabel like a disgusting parasite that twirled inside her head. Rooting deeper and deeper with each passing moment. Unraveling her brain into thin stitches.

Luisa yelled in terror, the sound so loud Mirabel thought she would go deaf. She clenched her teeth, grinding them against each other. And looked down to where very terrified Luisa stared just a moment ago.

Mirabel’s skin, her clothes was… dripping. Melting like a lightened up candle. The wax… if she could call it this way ran all the way down her body. Falling onto Luisa’s arm, that started to lose form under the pressure of Mirabel’s melting skin. Only digging deeper into the mass. Mirabel tried to breathe but the air didn’t come in. Agony traveled with her doughed form, drops growing bigger.

Luisa tried to pull away, freaking out no less than Mirabel was. She tried to pull her arm out but Mirabel was stuck to her body. Wrapped her free bicep in attempt to pull her sister off herself. Which only caused it to get stuck as well, tugging Mirabel even more to her torso that kept melting with hers. 

“SEIP WE T’MS SOTRIY!” She… (they?) cried out, trying to detach their merged bodies. One of Luisa’s arms practically piereced Mirabel, buried inside her stomach. The younger girls could barely wiggle, let alone move or struggle. Attached too deep to Luisa’s way bigger frame. She wasn’t sure which heart was beating so fast it slammed the sound down to het tiptoes. Wax kept  clinging to Luisa’s equally melting body. Like a cheese inside arepa melted to the corn flour. Except that flour was melting the same way cheese did this time. Panic rose inside her chest, flooding her lungs until Mirabel couldn’t breathe.

“HMW OMRMINIT NOMOAK II SEOHLSET GO!” Their words clang against each other. Melting into illegible sounds. The same way their bodies did. Her heads spun in anxious trembling (why was she so worried about work?). As she did her best to at least comprehend the situation. Which didn’t work, only sending her spiralling deeper with each drop of her (their?) bodyies. Guilt wrapped around her in a big snake, squeezing. Fat and thick fangs gnawed into her neck. The problem with magic happened because of her, this happened because of her, Luisa was melting because of her. Hell, she just wanted to calm down her sister! (Wait no that was Luisa who tried to calm her.) Her thoughts turned into inconsistent bunch, alien memories that weren’t, couldn’t be, hers dug into her. Not just their body that kept turning into one more and more, no matter how much Luisa struggled to get Mirabel off themselves. No matter with her magically gifted strength. (Am I the one with the gift or you are?)

“WHAT?” She… Luisa… somebody of them turned around. Isabela stood in front of her shining door embroidered in flowers. For the first time in her life, Mirabel thinks she can see her eldest sister terrified. Hands tensed to hard that the outlines of bones were visible. Eyes widened at the sight. Not like either of them can blame her. 

With some effort, they managed to mutter “Help!” their voices layering together. Mir- Lui- (who’s body touched the ground? I have no idea! Why is it so hard to separate?) They took a limped step to Isabela. They weren’t close to her sister, definitely not as close to each other (even before… this). But right now, they needed help.

Vines grabbed onto them, pulling body in different direction. Just for a second before wax drops run onto it. Making the greenery melt just like them. And if before Isabela was visibly scared, now she was even paler. So much that seeing it without context shes would assume Isabela was sick.

Another step. A colourful spot fall onto the floor. Isabela swallowed, stepping back. “You… don’t come near me!” She exhaled, visibly shaken by the sight and a thought tat she might join into this mess. 

Mirabel.. or Luisa, they weren’t sure, tilted her head (does it even matter now?) taken aback, maybe even insulted. Asking for help (Wait it’s not Isabela’s job to help everyone? It’s yours…mine?) They tried to focus, think which one of them was who. Their consciousness slipped together until it was barely possible to realize which one thought of anything. Which part belonged to Luisa and which was Mirabel? It merged with their bodies and didn’t want to get off each other the same way their melting bodies couldn’t get off each other. No matter how much the bigger part (they assumed it was it, it could move more freely) tried to tug off the smaller one. Would this even work? It… It wasn’t just their bodies.

It were them. Their entire existence stopped being separate entities. (FUCK, STOP THIS LET GO OF ME! Who was screaming? perhaps, both of them). For a moment they looked themselves in the eyes. Desperate to get.. themselves. Instead whatever it was. They couldn’t call their body neither like Luisa nor Mirabel. Not like it was important at all. Again, they didn’t know if ‘Mirabel’ supposed to be bigger or smaller part. Was Luisa the one to embroider or no? This felt internationalizing. With each drop melting between two parts, their existence became more and more merged. They couldn’t call themselves sisters, anything separate. Not knowing who was whom.

They just stayed together.

[abarbaricyalp]

Devastated

I have no excuse. I'm sorry. Rated E // Symbiote PWP // AO3 Link

Sam barely lifted the book that was propped open on his face when the door opened and Bucky dragged himself through it. He was home earlier than Sam was expecting, but not early enough to make Sam panic and startle awake from his half-nap. Typically, when Bucky went on a solo-mision, he took time afterwards to find some dive bar with cheap drinks that still didn’t get him drunk and he watched a baseball game until he cooled off. There were different time tables to this that Sam had become fluent in. This one verged on home-too-soon but Bucky didn’t really seem to be in distress.

“I’m gonna shower,” Bucky grunted without so much as a forehead kiss. Still not unusual, just disappointing.

Sam sat up, catching the book as it fell. “You good?” he asked Bucky’s back. He was already halfway to their bedroom and attached bath.

Bucky nodded without turning around. “Just need ten minutes to myself,” he said. Sam frowned but didn’t argue. He understood. He needed that sometimes too.

“Alright. Take your time,” he called to the shutting door. Maybe he glared at it just a little. He strained to listen through the rooms for any sounds of distress. The shower turned on in a timely fashion and he heard the door bang shut behind Bucky, followed by his curse like he always did when he slammed it on accident. That was enough to convince Sam that Bucky was okay. Maybe there wasn’t a game on at the bar.

He settled back against the couch and put the book over his face again to block out the light. He had no idea how much time had passed when he heard the bedroom door open. He’d actually half fallen asleep again. Still, he sat up again, setting the book aside this time. Bucky was standing in the doorway, wearing a towel around his hips. One hand gripped the doorframe and the other held the knot in the towel. He’d be absolutely devastating if it wasn’t for the shaking of his hands.

“There’s something…in me,” Bucky ground out. It was not the first time he’d said something like that. Normally, though, he was sprawled across the doorway, no towel at all, while he purred and smirked and tossed his dripping hair over his shoulder, maybe made some exaggerated face or moaned. Right now, he just looked constipated.

“Do you…not want there to be something in you?” Sam asked carefully. “We don’t have to fool around tonight if you’re not–”

Bucky shook his head. “No. Not like that. It’s a–” His hands went to his ears and he doubled over suddenly. “I didn’t say parasite!” he shouted.

Sam jumped to his feet too, halfway to Bucky before realizing he wasn’t sure what was happening. “I know you didn’t. But…is it? What’s wrong? Did something happen on the mission? Are you okay?” He put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder and found him burning up.

Bucky sagged at the touch, straightening tiredly. “Do you remember Eddie Brock?”

“The journalist exiled to San Fran?” Sam asked before realization washed over him. “Bucky, you didn’t.”

“I didn’t?” Bucky breathed. “I didn’t have a choice in the matter! I don’t even know where it came from!”

Suddenly, something oozed from Bucky’s shoulder, seeming to seep out from his scars like a bad infection. It took the shape of a head and grinned with too many teeth. So many teeth. Holy shit, that was a lot of teeth. Beside it, Bucky had blanched, looking even paler than he normally did. He’d craned his head away from the parasitic alien and the alien’s long neck craned away from him in turn, long, sharp teeth glinting with saliva in the low light of their apartment.

“I am Devastation,” the creature purred. “I was the fourth subject brought with my siblings years ago. Is it Riot who is in Eddie Brock?”

Sam blinked at Devastation. “No,” he said numbly. “It’s called Venom.”

Slimy tendrils raised like eyebrows and then the thing was guffawing, a horrifying sound that seemed to drag metal on metal. Bucky ducked his head out of the way again. “Venom achieved successful symbiosis? Venom is a loser.”

“Watch the news more often,” Sam said drily. “He headlines most nights.”

Devastation swayed back and forth in the air, curling around Bucky’s shoulders and ducking under his arm to slink back up his chest. “I’ve had better things to do at night,” it purred again.

“Like what?” Sam asked.

“You really don’t want to know,” Bucky said.

“How do you know?”

“He’s in my head. I can…hear everything he thinks.”

Which, yeah, Sam kind of remembered that from the debrief about the Brock-Venom situation.

“And I hear everything you think,” Devastation agreed, unwinding itself from Bucky so it could meander over to Sam instead.

Sam didn’t flinch away. This was the stubbornness his mama was always saying was gonna get him into trouble. He still wouldn’t give the alien the satisfaction of getting a reaction from him. “How much of you is there?” Sam asked, reaching over to drag his fingers over the tendril of…body? connecting the alien to Bucky.

“Quite a lot. Size queen.”

Sam’s cheeks blazed and he glared past the creature to Bucky who was blushing just as furiously.

“It seems,” Bucky ground out, sounding angrier than Sam had ever heard him outside of battle, “that Devastation did not inherit the penchant for violence that the other symbiotes have. He’s found a different use for his hosts.”

Devastation wound around Sam the same way it had to Bucky, but in reverse–from Sam’s chest, under his arm, and then draping over his shoulder. Its body was warm and slick, leaving a cool not-damp streak where it slid over Sam’s skin. “I’m a lover, not a fighter. The human body is capable of feats of touch that symbiotes could not achieve on our own.”

“You infect someone long enough to make them have sex and then kill them?” Sam asked in horror.

Devastation whirled away so quickly Sam almost expected it to hurt. It didn’t. Just left him a little cold. “No!” it snapped. “I do not infect anyone! Nor do I make them do anything! Humans are more than willing to do freaky things with me present. I can help make it better. I just have to know where to look for hosts.”

“And you decided on Bucky because?”

Devastation turned to look at Bucky. Even without facing Sam, Sam could see it grin and reveal more razor teeth. “Well, I suppose that was just a stroke of luck. He fell into a crate of eels I was cannibalizing. I transferred into him mostly by accident. But once I was there…”

If Bucky blushed any harder, he was going to combust. He was well past ‘blush’ and definitely into ‘looked like he was in a rage’ territory as far as the red on his face went.

“There is so much libido in him. You’re not using him properly,” Devastation continued. It spiraled back around to Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky was holding himself so tightly, he was shaking. Devastation’s tongue curled from its mouth and dragged up Bucky’s neck and cheek, tracing along his ear. It looked absolutely filthy–both disgusting and, well, filthy. Bucky’s body went bow-string tight and his eyes screwed shut and then he relaxed with a gasp, bending at the waist slightly as he pushed the heel of his hand over his crotch.

“Six,” Devastation purred.

“Oh my God?” Sam breathed.

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