#i didn’t ask for a full concert experience rn

[aust-een]

It’s 7:30am, there is a bird on my window sill that has decided they wanna drop bars so violent I am squinting my eyes, what is the REASON

[kaiitykuppycake]

Why R U The Series is one of the best BL dramas out there and it's about almost nothing.

and it was a trip. A great one. One we are not soon to forget in our trails on the BL spectrum. I watched this whole show with my good friend and partner in BL crimes @ahhhnorealnamesallowed

THIS IS ALL MY OPINION AND MY THOUGHTS ON THE SHOW. WE JUST FINISHED IT AND I HAVE THOUGHTS FOR DAYS.

*SPOILERS AHEAD* (kinda minor)

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

The Plot: Okay, this is gonna be fast and loose. This show is a slice of life so therefore it has almost no plot (at least nothing over arching and complex) and it only centers around a bunch of kids going to university and most of them falling for each other. Okay, I'm getting ahead of myself. Zon has a sister, Zol who has been writing fanfiction about him and an upperclassman, Saifah, whom she saw him kissing by accident. When asking her to stop writing, he thinks he's cursed himself. This spirals him into a notion that ha's in a BL novel. On top of that, he is tasked with being a musical act with Saifah for the charity concert for the school (faculty?) soccer team. Hilarity and soft romantic stuff ensue as they prepare with Saifah teaching Zon guitar. On the other hand, Tutor is a sweet boy that is nice to everyone (except Fighter in the beginning) and helps anyone who needs it. His family is in heavy debt and he works to earn his own money and pay for school any way he can, especially with tutoring his schoolmates. He is good friends with HwaHwa whom he has known for years. He has caught the eye of his upperclassman Fighter whom he met as a freshman. Fighter is a shy tough boy who needs to get his grades up and has a big crush on Tutor and doesn't know what to do with it. His father has him dating Hwa, whom he doesn't love, but she loves him. The two navigate their feelings and sassy, steamy and emotional things ensue.

The couples: Fighter and Tutor are up there with my favourite BL couples of all time. Up there with the ranks of DeanPharm and WatTine. Their chemistry was so ON POINT and ORGANIC I could have believed Saint and Zee had been grown in the most wholesome garden known to man, it was just THAT believable. Their story starts with some friction and MAJOR sexual tension. Like so much that it's acted on once or twice in a couple of scenes before they even confess their feelings. It's valid of course because Fighter is too unsure of his feelings for Tutor so while they're getting close to being hot and heavy, he tends to blow it off as "teasing" *eye roll* which is its own can of worms, especially with how it fucks with Tutor's emotions in general. All in all, their coupling happens and once it does, you will treasure every moment of it. Every. Steamy. Moment. Honestly, these scenes were so good it was bordering softcore p*rn. I'm not kidding. Did I also mention their duality? Oh yeah. Tutor tops whenever he wants to and he has Fighter wrapped around his finger once they begin their relationship proper. It's one of the best parts seeing Fighter doing his job as a top but then Tutor throwing us a curve ball and rolling Fighter over to do the same. *chef's kiss* Refreshing.

Saifah and Zon started with intrigue and ended with adorable. It felt earned even though they didn't have much drama to wade through, at least not as much as FighterTutor. They have a whole sequence of them going on a "date" to get a guitar pic and stuff to make one into a bracelet for Zon as Saifah teaches him how to play. It felt awkward and out of place with the lack of development their relationship had at this point, but they were leading up to it so it ends up working out. Their confession is full of awkward and ADORABLE wholesome energy. This whole couple's arch is so innocent and wholesome as they become more comfortable. Where FighterTutor can't keep their hands off each other, SaifahZon can't keep their eyes off one another. Do you want soft hand touches and forehead kisses without steamy make-outs? This couple is for you. I found it a perfect contrast in dynamic and romance compared to Fighter Tutor and it was refreshing when we got time to breathe.

the side couples: Honestly, I wish we had more time to develop and see them more. The actors had great chemistry and worked well together, but they didn't get enough time to develop as couples with all the time being dedicated to the two main couples. I think it's fully valid to stick most of the time to the main couples. that's what people come for, but I found it disappointing because I liked all of them. Here are my thoughts on each: Japan and Tanthai were cute. Blue, Champ and Dew could have had WAY more screen time ESPECIALLY with Champ and Blue which had WAYY more implication than Blue and Dew together. Junior, Natee and Zen are all Zon's friends and served as this series' equivalent of 2gether's Fong, Ohm and Phuak mixed together with both Man and Boss in their loud crackhead energy. They have their own dynamic but with my limited experience with series, they are the closest I could compare. They are all adorable and Zen kind of has a thing for Zol but that doesn't get far...Finally Hwahwa and Day are adorable but only seen a couple of times in the series. While Fighter is "dating" Hwahwa, Day is the main person taking care of her on her birthday and when Fighter dumps her. They're cute but I wish we got more of them.

My biggest con with this show is the fact that the side characters are hard to remember. They come in so randomly sometimes that once they cut to a random side couple like Japan and Tanthai, I had to stop and think whom we were in a scene with. It didn't take long to determine but it felt like we should know, but we didn't right away. This only happened with some characters but it could have been rectified with more time. No ones fault, just a nitpick that doesn't take much away from the overall series for me.

Overall, this series was a wonderful thing to have in my life for the few weeks my friend and I were watching it. It was well shot, SO well-acted, and it was generally beautiful inside and out. I HIGHLY recommend if you want to watch something you can just sit and relax to. It certainly brightened up my days.

[veliseraptor]

Two questions! Why were you drawn to the character of Steve Rogers (who I adore!)? He just doesn't seem like your typical kind of fav. My second question is because I'm watching Avengers rn. Do you think Loki's plan was to fail? Since no matter which way things ended up it meant bad news for him?

let’s go with a blast from the past this acceptable monday morning!

it’s very true that Steve is not my Usual Type (like, at all) but I do every once in a while have a soft spot for heroic types who are kinda fucked up but also trying very hard and I think that’s where Steve hits. like, boy is low-key (not so low-key) a traumatized mess but he’s trying so hard to do good anyway, and he has the experience of having been powerless for most of his early life (most of his life) behind him that gives him a very personal sense of what that’s like.

and there’s...hmmm okay I did write a post about this at some point, though I don’t think I’ll be able to dig it up again. basically it was saying that while I do love my absolute disaster fuck-ups full of murder and rage and a thirst for violence, I also do...yeah, I have a place for characters who make me feel like there’s, idk, good in the world, or whatever. (yes! they aren’t real. whatever.)

this is also I think part of why I love Xie Lian so much - it’s the idea of people who have gone through hell and continue to make a concerted effort to be kind and help others.

as to your second question re: Loki - I think, as with most things Loki, that it’s complicated, but usually what I come down with is “Loki knew he was incredibly likely to fail and that probably nothing was going to end well for him and there was no real way out, but he was still trying to thread the needle anyway - to wriggle through any space he could find between the Thanos rock and the Earth authorities hard place (and the Asgard third place) in order to get something for himself. I think he was frantic, desperate, running on fumes, and not thinking terribly clearly, but I do think he was trying to find a good way out. didn’t really believe he’d find one or pull it off, but he wanted to. 

on some level Loki knew he was screwed. but he refuses to just let that be. he will at least try to get something for himself out of this absolute shit of a situation.

I think there’s sort of a cascading list of possible plans for that, first among them, obviously, just straight up victory and somehow (???) getting independence from Thanos’s leash.

but ultimately...in Tear My Castle Down Loki articulates out loud what he knew all along after his defeat:

“What would you have done?” Steve asked abruptly. Loki’s eyebrows pulled together, and Steve clarified, “if you’d...won. Beaten us. Conquered the Earth.”

Loki looked away. “As I didn’t, the hypothetical seems irrelevant.”

“I’m just curious,” Steve said. “Did you have some kind of plan? For afterwards?” Loki said nothing, staring straight ahead.

“I wouldn’t have,” he said suddenly, voice quiet. Steve frowned.

“Wouldn’t have what?”

“Won.” Loki’s lips twisted very slightly before smoothing out again. “Even had I managed to take control of your planet - a more complicated task than I would have expected, given your lack of centralized power - there are, or were, three probable outcomes.” He ticked them off on his fingers. “One: the Chitauri turned on me, killed me, and razed your world to the ground. Two: Asgard intervened by sending an army in force. It would take longer, and perhaps I could have preempted it by attempting to invade Asgard using the Tesseract, but it would have been a doomed enterprise. Three: some combination of one and two. Or, I suppose, four: one of your people eventually got lucky and assassinated me.”

he knew all that going in. he was just setting it aside out of pure desperate hope that maybe he’d be wrong.

[deeeelightfuldee]

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? ooooof. I don’t think i’d buy that. I hardly think people who DO show they have feelings for me are being truthful, so I doubt that.

Do you play video games? haven’t in some time, but I want to get back into it a little.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? oh heck yeah. I have a really great family.

Is your house more than two stories tall? nah, it’s the two stories with a basement.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I will never raise my hands to another human being. I once dated someone who was a veteran and had severe ptsd. we were napping one time and he got aggressive. that wasn’t HIM though. 

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) physically, I suppose I have nice eyes and a decent smile. personality wise, I am warm, friendly, loving, supportive, sometimes funny, very loyal.

What color is your hairbrush/comb? depends which one I use. I have a pink one right now. 

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? I honestly haven’t got a clue. I haven’t been let out of my room in 2 weeks.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? yes. it’s weird.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? DEF not. he has been asking me out since we worked together maybeeeee.. 8-9 years ago? 

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? yes! I am trying to learn how to undo that. it’s not that I don’t want to care about him, but I know and can soooooooo clearly see that he doesn’t care anymore, and it is extremely emotionally draining to watch.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? I wanna say female but idk

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? scott

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? couple days ago.

Do you play any games on Facebook? Nope.

What would you like to get a degree in? I have two degrees -- one in psych and one in SLP. 

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? ahahahaha yes. almost always wide awake from 3-6

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? typically more in the movie/show or book mood.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Both. nothing like that buttery, salty goodness that obvs requires an enormous drink

What genre of films do you like the best? either make me EXTREMELY sad, or romantic.

How many bank accounts do you have? 2

Have you ever had the flu? Yeah.

What is your goal for the next few months? i have several. the only one that can/will be public right now, is to get my lungs back to functioning as they were.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? yes. I have very bad breathing during sleep. I have had 11 sleep studies done, because my breathing will just stop randomly, which luckily my brain wakes me. it doesn’t really affect my like severely.. I function normally. but shoooooot, if I got normal levels of sleep i’d be a force to be reckoned with.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. Yes. It was AWFUL. vomiting for 2 days straight. it was so gross.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. smart and romantic.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? hmm. I think there have been times where i’ve let people have more access to me than they should have had. or there have definitely been times I’ve been used in school groups. But honestly, I tend to be protective of myself. I stop when I feel enough is enough. 

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? I would want either Bill to not die, or for her to be spoiled incessantly by someone else.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? psh. no. my friends are all tiny which is just not fun.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yeah. i found it so fun.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? ahahahaha no. 

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? mopping. i hate doing the floors.

Did you pull a senior prank? Not really advised when a homeschooler. 

Did you graduate? Yes. that was a rough, rough day.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope

What was the last song you listened to? i think it was Happier than Ever by billie eilish. the lyrics are ... woof. 

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? 20/12 -- the last time I had insurance anyway.

Is fashion one of your interests? honestly, if I had money, it would be. but it isnt right now.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? It’s getting harder and harder to believe that will be the case. I knowwwww I need to start dating, but every time I go to open up an app, I hesitate and chicken out. I just was so happy before.. its hard to think I could be able to offer anything to anyone right now.

Do you care what people think? veryyyyyy few people. I care about the thoughts of those I genuinely love and respect. However, I still ensure I’m protecting myself regardless.

Is acting something you enjoy? No. 

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I have a bum knee, so I sprain that from time to time. I last broke a finger.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? ahahahaha yes. but years ago. never because of mine.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. I don’t cuss. 

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? probably either nathan’s or em’s.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? alix’s family used to yell at me a lot for being fat. that used to mess me up. 

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? soccer. no, i found the endless running to be unnecessary. 

Did you ever watch the show Full House? yup

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? no, thats so out-of-touch with reality

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? yes, i have.

What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? i think it was 8 hours. I hate hate hate hikes. But, thats because I have really weak lungs, so my doctor says it’s like lighting them on fire.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? kile

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? my mom hasn’t since a teenager. I think my dad does still. though, i dunno for certain.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? uhhhh, PTK honors society

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Any reptile or insect. <<<< same

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Taller. 

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Yes. very much so.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? No, i respect people who are truthful saying they either try not to judge, or that they do judge despite their desire to stop.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? sooooooo much. it’s small town-y, quiet, safe, lots of trees, family close by.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? ps i love you will always shatter my heart.

What’s your favorite restaurant? buona or ashford

Is there a dessert you don’t like? im not wild about pastries.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? hmmm maybe that one mrs. pettigrews home for peculiar children.

Underwater or outer space? i’m fascinated by both. typically more interested in the water.

Dogs or cats? both. all of them.

Kittens or puppies? kittens.

Bird watching or whale watching? whales!!!!!!!!

What was your best subject in school? in HS probably history. or science. in college, psych or neuro.

What was your worst subject in school? Math. always freakin’ math.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? Uhhh. hm. i don’t think anything. I liked my experience.

Who is your fashion icon? nada.

Diamonds or pearls? Both are nice. I love pearl stud earrings and I really want a simple, one pearl necklace. I am kinda ruined for diamonds for some time. My favorite rings and necklace were diamonds from kile and I just cant bring myself to wear those anymore.

What color dress did you wear to prom? pink

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? oh sure. I am envious of those with bangin’ bods. I’m envious of those who have great finances. I am envious of those who live life married to their love. I’m envious of people who see kile regularly. But there are difficulties that come with any of those situations.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? not long ago. the whole crushing reality of losing kile just destroyed me. I’m OK now.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? ahahahahah. I just reject all calls.

Who are you closest to? My mom and nathan rn.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? no

Are you currently sad about anything? several things have recently been really saddening, but I’m ok. Ill get thru it.

Have you had any form of exercise today? Its going to be some time before I’m cleared for that. I almost faint from taking a shower and I have to be on oxygen after doing the one flight of stairs. 

Can you handle blood? doesn’t bother me at all.

Has any place hired you underage for a job? yes. I mean technically, I was legal to work in that I was 17, but the company didn’t want to hire younger than 18.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? not like in public, but at a house or gun range, yes.

Are you currently searching for a job? soon.

Does eating breakfast make you sick? i’m never ever ever hungry for it. I know i should, but its the worst. I don’t even like breakfast foods.

[a-wandering-ghoulette]

Ghost: Tobias finally revealed himself! From MyRock n°57; March/April issue; a FR->EN translation.

Enjoy a 2 page exclusiv interview fully translated from french to english; 3 full-page pics by Amanda Demme and a bitter live report of Zénith de Paris ritual (under the cut at the end of the post)! Note that I’m not perfectly bilingual so any of you who have a better english lvl than me are free to correct any mistake I could have done!

Tobias, master of the Forge

(Translation Note: Yes, we are french and we like dumb puns. So yass, he leads this band, thx)

Few hours before his appearance at Zénith de Paris, Tobias Forge has opened his lodge’s door to us. Decontracted and unmasked, the autoproclamed Ghost’s spokesperson frankly discuss about the band news and about his sudden notoriety.

Interview by Thomas Mafrouche; photos by Amanda Demme.

“In the colllective mind, doing metal is wearing black and shouting in a mic. People believe it’s easy when it’s a music requiring a lot of work and precision.” Tobias Forge

The last time we saw you at Zénith de Paris it was for Slayer and Mastodon’s opening. Tonight, you are the headline and your show is full. You must feel very proud! Tobias Forge: Oh I’m fulfilled! It’s fantastic! I’m very happy with what is happening. Not for the success, but because it allows me to finally have the means to do shows of the scope I always wanted. I always wished Ghost to be big, that our concerts dazzle! There’s nothing which annoyed me more than when you look small on a stage. It’s the case during some opening, or festivals prestations, when we have to play during day time... Ghost isn’t a band built for small stages. It’s a full experience, the spectator must imperatively get what’s coming! But, it’s a monstrous organisation, with a lot of logistical problems to solve beforehand. The more people there are involved in this adventure, the more risks there are for the machine to derailed. But, well, it’s the challenge to achieve when you bring a choir of 40 nuns on stage (laugh). In the end, what matter is that the spectator enjoy it, that they spend a good and phenomenous evening with us.

It is said that you are scrupulous about each detail, even the lights. Is that true? T.F.: Yes... I’m a “control freak”, I must admit it. (laughs) But this hunger for perfection, it’s also what brought me here tonight. This thirst for controling everything, it also came from the fact I’ve often been right by the past, but I was often dismissed... I have long tried to fight against this facet and to let people speak. And in these cases, it often narrowly avoided a catastrophe. So now I assume it. It pisses me off to have become a control maniac, but I’m used to it now, because it’s what’s best for Ghost, and thus, for the public...

Influenced by Candlemass & Metallica

To open your concerts for this tour, you have chosen your fellow countrymen from Candlemass. You’re fan, we guess? T.F.: I’ve been listening to them since I’m eight! They are my heroes! Their album Tales of Creation is one of my cult record! A decade ago, I had the chance to meet them and today we became very good friends. We are often seeing each others, our wifes and children are getting along pretty well too. Candlemass, it’s family! Their music had a direct impact on my way to compose. Plus, there’s all the imagery! I’m not talking about costumes, but the typography and the biblical visuals which always had greatly influenced me. I’ll even confess you something: The first album of Ghost, Opus Eponymous, was written for Messiah Marcolin’s voice [2nd singer of Candlemass, Redaction Note]. At the time, I didn’t wanted to be the singer of Ghost. Then I asked him to join us, but he had declined the invitation, saying he was busy with another project. So, when time has come to sing, I did it with his head voice. Last year, musicians from Candlemass also supported me on stage during Polar Music Prize’s ceremony [Swedish equivalent of Victoires de la Musique, but with guitars, RN (T.N: ouch, it’s a nice shot in our national music award ceremony face, since they never reward rock/metal artists... So yeah, national sized Grammy’s ceremony)]. We covered “Enter Sandman” by Metallica, in front of Sweden’s King and Queen. Robert Trujillo an Lars Ulrich were there as well. It’s an unforgatable memory! My wife and I, we even had dinner with one of Sweden’s princesses, after the ceremony.

Would the princess of Sweden be a metalhead?! T.F.: I won’t go this far, no (laughs). But she was very sociable, we even toasted. It was exquisite!

“Now, I will represent Ghost unmasked. Tobias Forge will be the official interlocutor, the same way George Lucas was the unique spokesman of Star Wars.” Tobias Forge

Speaking of Metallica, you’ll open for them at Stade de France, on May 12th. There, as well, it’s consecration! T.F.: It’s crazy! I’m going to tell you a funny anecdote. I’m not passionate about football, but it turns out that I was in Paris in 1998, during the World Cup. I wasn’t at Stade de France, but I saw pictures in the city, on big screens. And, at this moment, when I saw the final, that you amazingly won, I told myself that one day, I will play in Stade de France as well. It took me 21 years, but this day finally has come! this is proof that you have to believe in your dreams!

Metallica, it’s an institution for many people. For you as well? T.F.: There isn’t a superlativ strong enough to say how much I love these guys! Especially since they became friends. It’s an honour to have been chosen to support them on stage. Notably because they’re one of the reasons  which pushed me to do music.

Which is your favorite album? T.F.: Ouch, that’s not easy! From a strictly personnal point of view, I would say Ride the Lightning and Master of Puppets. But from a professional one, as a composer, musician and producer, it’s clearly the Black Album. It’s their best record, the most complete. Reaching this level of perfection, it’s any musician’s dream. Everything is here, the writing is bold, with a lot of character, and the producing is impeccable. I know it’s a record which make polemic amongst purists, but objectively, it’s one of these albums which had contributed to forge the metal we know today. In the colllective mind, doing metal is wearing black and shouting in a mic. People believe it’s easy, when it’s a music requiring a lot of work and precision. The Black Album, it’s the result of a huge amount of work, it’s months and months of work!

Papa Emeritus vs Darth Vader

The Black Album is also the record of notoriety, the one which propulsed Metallica with the general/mainstream public. This exposure, it’s something you’re living since the release of Prequelle. Recently, your appearance in the TV show Quotidien created a conflict amongst fans. To have a guitar solo cut during a live stream, is it the price to pay when a metal band enter the great mediatical circus? T.F.: Of course, it’s a sacrifice to do. Let’s say that, with Ghost, our relations with medias hasn’t always been good. I long refused to play their game. For a long time, these mainstream televisions had asked for interviewing Papa Emeritus. I always opposed them a categorical no. You can’t interview Papa Emeritus, the same way you can’t interview Darth Vader. You can meet James Earl Jones, who borrow him his voice, or the actor David Prowse. But Darth Vader, nobody can speak to him. It’s the same for Papa Emeritus. Today, in order to reach the next level, it’s time to play the game, but in our way. Since I can’t relate on Papa Emeritus to do the job, I accepted to do this interview unmasked. The problem is that journalists hadn’t the necessary keys in hands to understand Ghost. Of course, I’m not talking about you, because rock press know very well what we are and who we are. You tell me about Candlemass, about Metallica... It’s something else. You, you know your subject. Mainstream medias, them, what’s interesting them is to make the buzz, it’s to have a bone to gnaw. Sometimes, I wonder why I accepted to do such mediatical things... It’s not like I needed them, moreover my concerts are full! But, well, I decided that now, I will represent Ghost unmasked. Tobias Forge will be the official interlocutor, the same way George Lucas was the unique spokesman of Star Wars. The person you have in front of you today, it’s kind of Ghost’s director.

Otherwise, what are the future projects for Ghost? T.F.: There will be a release before the end of the year, but it will not be an EP of covers like we often did so far. It will be something else, but it’s not done and I can’t tell you about it yet. But I recorded some things... The rest of the year, I will spend it  on the road, it will be very long, with, notably, dates in South America. I scheduled to go in studio early next year, to realease an album in 2020. You have to strike while the iron is hot!

(Under the cut you’ll find a semi-bitter live report. Take this line as a trigger warning maybe...?)

Tobias Forge at Zénith?

It took 4 albums, 2 EP and a lawsuit before Tobias Forge, Ghost’s mastermind, offer to the french public an indoor show worthy of the name. The rendez vous is written down for early february, at Zénith de Paris.

Live report by: Roseline Artal.

6 000 persons

Concert: 3/5

Public: 3/5

We was told the show in the capital is full of capacity, but some stands are inaccessible and guarded by vigils. It’s certainly to allow everybody to be dazzled that the band decided to not fill  the venue at its maximum capacity, but it’s a shame for those who would have liked to be part of the lucky ones. After a Cigale and an Olympia much comparable to festivals prestations, Ghost decided to put every efforts here. Finally! Candlemass, coming from Sweden, open the ball, remaining on the very front of the stage. Songs flow, some blunders can be heard, notably when the singer Johan Längqvist mix up “A Sorcerer’s Pledge” and “Solitude”, but the crowd seems to appreciate. They rise their fists up in the air when needed, some heads are banging here and there, and we notice a semblance of circle pit down in the front right. However, it’s hard to remain enthusiastic very long in front of the relatively flat performance. Musicians are playing the game and are having fun, which is something at least. 

A cathedral stage It’s almost 9 p.m when lights turn off and the black curtains disappear, reaveling the magnificent stained glasses awning over imposing stairs. Such ornated, the Zénith stage is standing out! It’s with “Ashes”, perfect for an appetizer, Ghost offert themselves to their audience, but it’s “Ritual” which receive all suffrages on this show begining. As for “Devil Church”, it end on a duel between guitarists. When “Miasma” first notes resonnate, one question is on everybody lips: “Will Papa Nihil show himself?”. And the answer is yes, for our greatest pleasure.  “Jigolo Har Megiddo” is beautifully interpreted acoustically, allowing us to rest down our ears for a short time. Indeed, the sound is unbearable, at least without appropriated protections. Fortunatelly, the view isn’t unpleasant, thanks to a Tobias Forge of many personnalities as funny as worrying.

Papa Emeritus as a mafiosi (well, it’s obviously a confusion between Papa and Cardinal from the reporter here, I’ll correct it for the rest of this paragraphe, T.N) It’s well and truly the last album which is highlighted tonight, which is appreciated by fans. They are indeed ready to sing in unison and turn on there phone on “Life Eternal”, while Cardinal Copia play the romantic mafiosi, all in white dressed, thus marking an end to the first act. 15 minutes of break are offered, without a reason being given. Indeed, when the entract ends, the setting hadn’t change and musicians are wearing the same costumes. What if Tobias Forge became the new Axl Rose with his manic to leave the stage for ages with no valid reason? We’re picky, but these minutes could have been used to play other titles, such as the amazing “Elizabeth” which has disapeared from the setlist for years now... Nothing better than “Year Zero” sing by everyone and the cover of Rocky Erikson’s “If You Have Ghost” in order to put us in a good mood. However, the band found a way to ruin it all by dragging the members presentation out for long minutes. What a shame. “Dance Macabre” and “Square Hammer”, which we all keep loving during live, reconcil us with the swedes, then, without surprise, we’re leaving on “Monstrance Clock”, an ode to femal pleasure. When the lights turn back on, we can’t help but thinking this show was both a success and a disappointment notably due to useless dead calm. 

[mittensmorgul]

I've been peeking in on twitter more often than usual over the last few days, partly because I spent the weekend working a con with Zerbe and didn't have time to spend scrolling tumblr, and partly in looking at the numerous Hot Bad Takes about Steve Yockey getting what appears to be a once in a lifetime sort of opportunity for a writer and leaving Supernatural before the series is finished, and partly because since the show is ending this year and there's so many campaigns to show our love to the cast and crew... but I haven't seen anyone start a campaign to show our love to the one group of people who've already been laboring away on s15 for more than a month already: THE BELOVED WRITERS WHO ARE CRAFTING OUR RUN TO THE FINISH LINE!

(presented with a focus on the writers who have a social media presence on twitter, who will actually see this...)

They've been hard at work since May preparing to bring us one final season of Team Free Will in their last stand against the Cosmic Drama that has been building up to this for the last 14 years. I'd really love to begin a concerted campaign to share our love for what they do, and not just in a generalized squee sort of way, but in the same way we offer thoughtful comments on fic. I feel bad because I spend all my time writing about the glory of the narrative structure of this show, the brilliance of Dabb's showrunning direction, the depth of Meredith Glynn's character study (especially of Dean, but honestly of all the characters, including Cas... remember 14.17? Cas has amply demonstrated just how much he understands the value of his human family, and is on the road to understanding what he might also mean to them). 

The care with wich Bobo has crafted some of the most painful leaps in emotional growth for the characters (hello, 14.18... you can watch a a microcosm of Dean's entire emotional journey over the course of the show encapsulated in that single episode). Master of the Fanfiction Gap-- and in partnership with Meredith-- the providers of possibly the most efficient and broad emotional layering through glimpses of the past in the current narrative... I know I'm not explaining this well, but, I SEE WHAT THEY DID THERE, with everything from the mixtape-- and not even the shippy implications of it, but using that singular moment to show us the breadth and depth of all the characters' relationships by reminding us of all the things we never actually see on screen, yet which still happen in the characters' "real lives." And holy HECK 14.18 was a master class in that, with the layered flashbacks to explore each character’s relationship with Mary.

One of my most-referred back to episodes of s14 has been 14.08, Byzantium, which honestly the meta implications of the title alone spurred some of the most interesting discussions I've had on the cosmology of the show's universe, and laid some solid groundwork for what I presume will be the direction the show takes in s15. SOULS DETERMINE THEIR OWN FATE! Our choices DO matter! And we have Meredith Glynn to thank for that.

This is the sort of excellent writing that makes these characters so real to us, that keeps us invested in the characters and the show. They DO feel like real people, with full lives in three dimensions, and our televisions are the portal to their universe that we're only gifted a tiny portion of in 42 minute chunks. And yet... we do feel like we understand so much of their lives that we DON'T see on screen, precisely because of this incredibly layered and subtle character study.

Which brings me to the newest writer on staff, Jeremy Adams. He gave us the glory that is Scoobynatural, under some incredibly tight constraints (given the limitations of how they were allowed to present the Scoobyverse within the Supernatural universe's rules), and I'm incredibly excited to see his more standard take on Sam, Dean, and Cas in a full-on episode of Supernatural. And honestly, we need more along the lines of The Killer Stuffed Dinosaur In Love. I think, if anything, Jeremy has a solid hold on who these characters are-- both the surface layer and the far deeper emotional layers-- as well as a fresh take on the show’s inherent sense of humor.

(and I mean COME ON in Dabb era, the era of the author of 8.08, we know there’s an element of brilliant Cartoon Logic to the narrative)

And we can't forget Davy Perez, who effectively provided us a guidebook on How To Watch This Show: Meta Edition with 14.04 Mint Condition, and then used this guide to break us all completely with 14.11 Damaged Goods. But also setting up a mirror confrontation for how Mary parents her boys in how she deals with Dean here, which will become painfully, horrifically twisted around in how she presents the exact same choice to Jack in 14.17/14.18. I'm wibbling just thinking about it, and honestly that's what good writing DOES. It grabs you by the feelers and does not let go.

And ALL of this has happened under Dabb's orchestration. All these other writers are effectively telling us HIS story. I don't think they're all getting the credit they deserve. Yes, I write rhapsodic about their episodes on tumblr, but they never see it. I think, heading into this final season, we all owe these people the praise and thanks they deserve to hear, and not just the usual Twitter Terrible Hot Take machine they're typically exposed to.

To that end, I've done a bit of research and made a contact who has promised to hand deliver our gratitude directly to these writers who need to hear it most. The cast is steeped in our gratitude at every con, and there's been multiple campaigns in fandom to thank the tireless crew who works on set every day to bring this show to us. But as a writer, I understand how thankless their job can feel. And I have an idea of what would absolutely mean the most to them: Direct messages of "I see what you did there."

I got a message to that effect on my fic Cakepocalypse! a few weeks ago, and I'm gonna share it here (without attribution, since I haven't asked the commenter for permission to share it), but it is the PERFECT example of the sort of thing I want to give the SPN writers:

[transcript of the image: comment:  Ok, I'm re-reading this and I'm amazed to see that there are more hints as to what's really going on much sooner than I realized! You must have worked really hard structuring all this! Wow, the mind boggles.

my response:  HEEE! OMG THANK YOU THIS IS THE BEST. I, being a Nervous Author Type, was worried I would give it all away too soon, or that nobody would notice what I was doing and feel like the surprise comes out of nowhere, so this is literally the most satisfying possible comment you could've given and I appreciate you so much rn. Thank you :'D]

I can't even BEGIN to express how much this simple comment meant to me. I felt PERFECTLY SEEN. And I want to share that feeling with the writers who craft this show for us to enjoy, because all of them deserve to know that we care about the characters and their story and their eventual fate as much as they do.

So here's my proposal:

It doesn't have to be complex. You don't need to write them novels, but I think sharing the sort of specific love and appreciation for them that I've attempted to express above will go MILES toward energizing the writers as they move into the final season. Let's share with them how much this entire journey has meant to us. Let's let them know that WE SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING THERE!

If you're comfortable going on twitter, by all means take your appreciation directly to the source. Here's a link to the thread I tweeted out to this effect for a reference if you'd like one:

https://twitter.com/MittensMorgul/status/1146137421345636352

(and because I think twitter cut my thread in half, here’s the rest: https://twitter.com/MittensMorgul/status/1146137437170626560)

If you're not on twitter (or are D: over sharing your love so openly for whatever reason), I will open my submissions here on tumblr. You can write a letter of appreciation which I will ensure (anonymously if you prefer) will reach the writers directly. I'll also be compiling a list of links to meta or other tumblr posts you feel the writers will appreciate reading, but I will only share them with explicit permission from the authors of said posts. So if you want to share your love that way, please submit links to the specific posts you'd like me to share with them and I’ll make sure they get them.

My tumblr experience has been a gleeful love letter to this show, but I know the writers aren't seeing any of it. If anyone deserves to feel our love (especially as writers ourselves-- meta, fic, etc.-- or even as appreciators of excellent writing), it's the people who have poured themselves into creating this show for us. Regardless of what we ship, or what our expectations might be going into s15, I think it's important for us to acknowledge them now, and let them know how important Supernatural has been to all of us.

[guktwt]

love yourself tour experience! ♡  japan and singapore

hi! so i’ve been wanting to make a post like this for a while on twitter but i hate twitter rn so here i am. this january i was blessed with the opportunity to attend love yourself in nagoya (japan) and singapore and honestly? it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i wanted to share my experience because really, concerts in japan and everywhere are else are so different, right from ticketing and the show itself. i thought you guys would find it interesting? and also i need to let this out ahhh keeping to myself is not going to do me any good :( anyways, i hope you find this post somewhat entertaining 💞

under the cut because this got really long sorry 

♡ love yourself in nagoya ♡

first of all, tickets. getting concert tickets (and any ticket, really) in japan is tricky. most kpop groups in japan have a fanclub and if you’re a member, you get the benefit of applying for tickets first (like a presale!). did i say apply? yes i did. in japan, ticketing for concerts adopts a lottery system for presale and general sales usually a month later. 

for presale through fc, you’d have to apply for a lottery on a website and wait to find out if you win or not. you need a fc membership (paid), which also needs you to have a japanese phone number and address in order to apply. and you HAVE to pay your presale tickets in japan because you need to pay them in a convenient store. complicated, i know. FC presale tickets usually give the best seats. there’s no gurantee, but that’s usually the case. fortunately for me, i have a cousin residing in japan to help me with the address (you really need it, they’re going to ship you your membership card) and i found someone on twitter to help me make the payment. if you a apply for lottery, there’s no guarantee you’ll win. so you can apply as many times as you want with a maximum of 2 tickets for each shows. i think i used up all of my luck with this one [sobs]. FC presales usually have more than one round lotteries. 

general sales is much simpler. i dont have enough experience to know the details but it’s usually up on japanese ticketing websites and can use credit cards? dont know if foreign ccs are accepted though. 

oh and all tickets for all sections cost the same!!! so doesn’t matter if you get the best view or worst it’s all equal 

/if you have more questions about this don’t hesitate to send me an ask i don’t know much but i’ve read a lot about it/

you can’t know your seat until a week (or a month? idk) before the concert, when it’s time for you to print your tickets at the same convenient store (yes you have to print them and you can only do it once so don’t lose the damn thing!!). my seat was really good!!! i didn’t get floor sadly but my section was right in front of the extended stage so i got a great view. 

i arrived in nagoya a day before the concert (i spent a week in tokyo beforehand) and queued for merch!!! it was winter so it wasn’t hot at all and the japanese really know how to line up. everything is so organized like??? i was so amazed. i spent a good 4 hours queueing before getting my items and even then a lot of the things i wanted were sold out quickly :( 

and then comes the concert day!!!! basically since it was all seating tickets i didn’t have to worry about queueing for entry but i did queue for merch again,,,, from 4 am. let me tell you how devoted people are there when it comes to queueing. some actually stayed from the afternoon? and it was winter. crazy. 

i entered the dome an hour before the show started and the staff were so kind and helpful whenever i asked for help (i couldn’t find my seat). and everyone around is so kind and warm :( i didn’t really interact with a lot of people due to the language barrier but they’re so . polite. 

and moving on to the show!!!!!! japan has strict rules about recording so i couldn’t do any of that [:(] but honestly it just made me enjoy everything better. of course they were amazing on stage and their japanese were so cute :( i still can’t get over nagoya, nekkoya my pure babies!!! 

and uh . taehyung. so damn fine. can’t believe i was part of the first people to see him reveal his blue hair. and i can’t stress this enough but his gaze when he looks at the audience... i felt the love and fondness in his eyes i wanted to CRY. 

and jimin!!! was so clingy towards joon the whole night ugh we love a baby koala. and jungkook :( he introduced himself as kookoo im so fucking sad. the second he said kookoo desu i was ready to give up my firstborn for him. 

hoseok was a fucking machine. he’s so charismatic on stage i can’t handle him. and seokjin was full on crackhead mode :( we stan a whole legend i love love him so much. my mans yoongi was so?? small yet not??? i wanna put him in my pocket. my mans joon was looking like a whole snacc. all legs and dimples.  

honestly what struck me the most was how everyone gave seokjin a standing ovation and applause after epiphany???? that was my first time seeing something like that and i just started tearing up because it was so beautiful. people were so respectful they didn’t scream or shout when bangtan were doing their ending ments. the fanchants were absolutely on point!!! whenever bangtan bowed i actually spotted some people in my section bowing in return and i was !!!! oh my god 

but on another note you’d think that japanese fans are quiet during shows but theyre really not. they’re loud as hell too they just know when to shut up and listen and i think that’s beautiful. 

the whole thing passed by really quickly. i felt hollow and empty by the time it ended but i have to say that it was the most relaxing and chill concert experience i’ve ever had. it just feels so different than my previous concerts. the only downside about it is the no recording part (i could’ve been sneaky but staff was right in front of my section) i guess. but without worrying about my phone i got to watch them perform. like actually watch them. it felt euphoric. 

♡ love yourself in singapore ♡

ah. 

so for singapore, i got cat 1 purple 2 tickets at first. but because me and my friend wanted yellow initially, we managed to find someone who wanted to trade with us. 

i arrived at the venue at 6 am because i had to distribute banners and fans for my fan support. here’s a pic of them!!!! 

basically for standing ticket holders we were required to queue by 12:30 pm and fortunately my qn got the indoor holding area so i didn’t stay under the heat for long. we started moving to the venue at around 3 or 4 pm even thought they said it would be 2:30 pm. because my qn was large by the time i got inside all the good spots were already taken :( i ended up at the very back sigh and we had to wait for another 2-3 hours before the show starts. it was hot and everyone was thirsty. some people in the pit wanted to sit down but some also stood up so it was rlly cramped :/ 

everyone was hyped tho even when mvs were played. and then when the lights dimmed and the show finally started was where things got really,,, rowdy. when the first beat of idol played everyone pushed forward??? the amount of times i got squished and elbowed and pushed aside... man it was hectic. if you’re claustrophobic please do NOT go for standing in concerts. 

but that aside of course it was amazing loud and crazy. there were accidents here and there. at one point several people actually fell down but everyone helped everyone up. some people got mad and started yelling and others but that’s understandable. it was hot and cramped of course you’d get cranky. 

funny story i got my period two hours before the show and basically bled through my vagina for 3 hours as i watched 7 fine men go off on stage. 

but anyways. 

me and my friend managed to finesse our way from the back row to the third row because we’re amazing. no we did not push if you were there the pit was always moving so we just. squeezed through i guess. i was so fucking tired but when so what came on i forgot that my pants were like fucking soaked and just jammed the fuck out with everyone. they got really close to my section during this and i cant believe i got to see taejin dance together like clubbing buddies. jin is so goofy!!!!!! 

oh but fuck you guys jimin up close is ethereal. he looks so fucking unreal i couldn’t keep my eyes off of him throughout the whole thing. none of the pictures can ever do his beauty justice. he’s so fucking beautiful and i was starstruck. and he sang promise!!! i fucking couldn’t believe he did it. one word to describe him is definitely godly. 

namjoon was so hyped and loud too :( gosh he’s so adorable. hoseok looked crazy beautiful up close too. his aura.... fucking amazing. YOONGI ALSO MADE THE CUTEST EXPRESSION AFTER JIMIN SANG PROMISE I SQEUALED. gosh i was actually really close despite not getting barricade i feel like crying thinking about it now. 

jungkook went so close to my section during so what i got a good fancam of him that i can’t stop watching :( jimin slipped during dna my poor baby but he just laughed it off :(((( 

they all looked prettier irl tbh. they have such nice skin??? and all that shit about jimin being short... well guess what fuckers he’s all LEGS. man. i think i left that stadium as a jimin stan. 

taehyung’s so hot i wanna die n i want the whole of rapline to spit on me thx.

fun times aside the pit is hell. luckily the staff were responsible and gave us drinks after each set of performances. and everyone kind of just understood each other. whenever someone looked like they were about to faint people asked if they were okay. we helped each other and gave each other drinks. at one point during the show i crouched down because i was exhausted and someone asked if i was okay or if i wanted some candy. 

hellish experiences aside, there’s a mutual understanding between everyone in the pit. like, we’re in this together. i’m sweaty and thirsty and tired but i’m here for one thing and so is everyone else. it’s a good feeling. i mean, yeah, i was drenched in sweat and water but. it’s a good feeling. here are some pics!!!! (i have more videos bu t i cba to tak e screenshots ajsjs sorry)

also met some of my twitter mutuals <3 love u guys 

perhaps this is it for my experience post? yeah you can see how different nagoya and singapore were. it was exciting to be able to experience them both. now back to my post concert depression and withdrawal :(

[jeongjaehyuns]

ok since kellie posted her fancam i thought i’d finally stop being lazy and do the same too :’)

i mentioned this a little bit before but earlier this month, i was lucky enough to get tickets to see nct 127 at the apple music event in la and was able to see them perform! this was by far one of the most amazing and intimate experiences i’ve ever been able to be apart of and being able to see nct 127 doing what they do best together is something i’m going to cherish in my heart for a very long time! here is the link to the full playlist of all their performances!! 

underneath the cut will be a much more detailed and in depth account of everything that happened at the event if anyone is interested in reading more about it! ♡

ok hello if there are people who actually decided to keep reading thank u so much and buckle up bc u are in for a riiiiiiiiiide (ridin on that VAAaaaaAAAAan, KEEP dRIVINGGGggGGG) ok anyways! HERE WE GO!

[ ! ] btw the first part is just me talking about everything that happened before the concert so pls feel free to just skip to the last paragraph instead LOL

so when news came out that nct 127 was going to be coming back to the u.s. and perform on jimmy kimmel and that tickets were FREE, my friends and i hi kellie, hi tracey all tried to get some tickets for both the taping and the concert and was able to make it on the waitlist! i don’t live in california but both of my friends do so i told them that if any of us got confirmed tickets, i’d be flying over there for the weekend to attend the show! it’s kind of all a blur now bc the only thing i can remember within that week was stressing out so hard over tickets because the way the whole thing was set up was just SO STRESSFUL because despite being on the waitlist, there is no 100% guarantee that you’d get tickets and they start giving out tickets to people from within a week before the taping to the day of the actual event so really, it was just one massive waiting game. but a week went by and none of us saw any signs of getting tickets and flight ticket prices kept fluctuating for me so i just went ahead and booked my flight anyways without a confirmed ticket pls don’t ever do this omfg please please PLEASE don’t ever do this!!! and PRAYED that one of us would be able to get tickets ;; a few days went by and then nct kept releasing more news and how they’d be performing at mickey mouse’s 90th birthday celebration so tickets for that were also available too and once again, we made it on the waitlist!!! and played not one but now two (2) waiting games!!!! :-)))

honestly i rly don’t remember much that happened during this small time frame bc i was so stressed and anxious over these tickets that it rly took a toll on me physically and mentally LOL but yeah so on wednesday the 3rd, nct 127 posted on their instagram about how they’d be having a special performance partnered with apple music and i was about to start my math exam but the moment i read their post, i ran to the bathroom faster than i’ve ever ran before and of course, i requested tickets and made it on the waitlist again!!!! SO NOW IN TOTAL, IT WAS NOT ONE, BUT THREE (3) WAITING GAMES!!! GAMES THAT I WAS STARTING TO GET SICK OF PLAYING!!! anyways yeah so basically my friends and i made it onto all 3 waiting lists and at this point we really just wanted to be able to make it to at least one event ;;;

fast forward to friday, aka 1 day before mickey mouse and 3 days before kimmel and apple music and also the day my flight leaves for la!!! my friends and i all got a big fat no from mickey mouse saying they wouldn’t be able to accommodate our ticket requests bc they were full so we we re like ok!!! whatevs!!! we still have kimmel and apple to try for!!! so here i am… at the airport… getting ready to leave with no!!! confirmed!!! ticket!!! my flight was quite early in the morning so i was at the airport overnight and it was like around 11:30pm when i was doing homework and i got a notification on my phone… thinking it was just some random notification when in reality, I GOT MY CONFIRMED TICKET FOR THE APPLE MUSIC EVENT :’) it’s a blur to me bc it happened so fast and so suddenly but all i remember was that my jaw literally dropped for the longest time and my hands were shaking so badly bc i cOULDN’T BELIEVE IT??? i wasn’t able to sleep that entire night nor was i able to sleep on the plane from all the adrenaline so that saturday really was an interesting day for me LOL anywho i made it to la safe and sound and spent saturday and sunday hanging out with my friends while we prepared for monday :’)

ok so then despite getting tickets, we had no idea where the location of this event was going to be bc 1iota (the event organizer) wasn’t going to release the information until 10am monday morning and we were planning on waiting in line like early early to get a good spot so we had to be ready and out of the house by 9am!!! bUT WAIT!!! 9am was also when the english version of the mv was going to be released so me and kellie were both !!! bc we wanted to gif the mv so bad!!! so now at this point it’s like 7am and we’re all like half awake trying frantically to get ready and i’m over here trying to stream nct on the radio and listen to the world release of regular eng ver and then somewhere in between all of this, both kellie and tracey ended up getting their emails for confirmed tickets too??? so yeah at this point all three of us are running around like crazy ppl bc we weren’t expecting all of us to go but now all 3 of us get to go!!! so yeah i brought my laptop with me and tried to gif in the car but the connection from my hotspot was so slow so i just sat and cried instead :-) ALSO!!! remember how information about the location was supposed to be released at 10am? yeah well they changed it on us again!!! they delayed it to 2pm so at this point me and kellie rly wanted to d*e bc we did all of that rushing for nothing omfg but fast forward to 2pm, they released the information for the location and since we were already in the hollywood area we went there right away so when we lined up, we were like number 10 in line!!! :D

i wasn’t able to eat at all that entire day just bc i was so stressed and so nervous from everything that the hunger didn’t hit me til like 20 mins before the actual event omg ;;;; i remember saying “omg i’m so hungry” and the girl beside me was like “well sweetie, you’re about to be fed real good rn” and i just died laughing oh my god but yeah i had a priority ticket so i was let in around 7:30pm-ish and the event started at 8! i got barricade again just like last time at kcon ny, my view was reeeeeeally good!! ! i would say even better than kcon’s even tho i was front and center for kcon ;;; back when we were in line, the event organizers kept asking us how we were doing and each time i would tell them that i was super nervous and they’d ask why and i would explain that i just get super nervous before seeing nct omg it’s really true tho idk what it is but i just feel so QUEASY before seeing them… like the fact that you go from seeing them from your screen to seeing them in front of you is just a very STRANGE FEELING FOR ME OK but they kept repeating how we were all going to have a good time and that the space inside was super small so it’s going to be nice and intimate with them and they said how no matter what spot you get, you’re still going to be super close to them… one of the staff members was like “you’re going to be so close to them they’re going to sweat on you” AND GOD THIS JUST MADE ME EVEN MORE NERVOUS KASDJKSAJDKAJDKA

OK ANYWAYS ENOUGH OF THAT, ONTO THE ACTUAL CONCERT! when we got in, the event was actually on a rooftop and so the scenery behind the stage was just soooooo pretty and then they had a playlist of their songs playing in the bg and it was just really nice to listen and enjoy while we waited for them to come out :’) the members kept hiding behind this door and some of them started waving and they were all teasing us so hard bc the moment we saw someone there, we would all start screaming and they just wouldn’t stop :’) then they finally played the apple music documentary video for us and i just remember all of us screaming a lot LOL but then the lights went off again and then we all watched them walk onto the stage one by one and oh my GOD the wait for them to finally start just felt like forever and then next thing i know, the sirens went off and all i hear is “GET IT LIFTED” and then firetruck started omg i was trying to get jaehyun’s attention but then mr. nakamoto yuta… YUTA… looked over on our side and me and him made eye contact for a good solid 3 seconds and i just about lost my shit omg… HE IS SO INSANELY GORGEOUS IN REAL LIFE I WAS RLY GOIN THRU IT… JAEHYUN WHO??? AND THEN HAECHAN OMG… haechan came over to our side like 75% of the time and he is the cutest, most adorable person on this planet!!! he was always smiling and waving and i really can’t think of anything else to describe him other than the sun bc he quite literally was shining that night!!! i think it was halfway through firetruck that we started to realize that the stage was like… a little slippery??? but it wasn’t until limitless started where we really noticed the members starting to slip and stumble here and there ;; also there’s this one part where jaehyun went up super close to me during limitless and i about died… i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again but even after seeing him irl, HE IS SO HANDSOME IT’S UNREAL… HIS VISUALS ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD I CAN’T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD but yeah the staff members would go on stage after each song to try their best to dry the stage but for some reason that wasn’t enough ;; i have no idea why the stage was so slippery but my guess was that it was pretty cool up on the rooftop and with the amount of people there, there was so much body heat in the air and then that mixed with the cool air = condensation??? i also think the shoes the members were wearing had like absolutely no friction at the bottom so it made them slip even more ;; they were also using a fog machine too but idk if that was actually the reason why the stage was so slipper omg but yeah after firetruck, they performed limitless and then they had a small ment here and mark talked about how it was a very special day for them (bc they just came straight from performing at jimmy kimmel too) and then johnny screamed something along the words of being apple music’s next up next artist and he was just so happy!!!! and then mark said that they’ve got october all to themselves and they were so happy to be able to be here with all of the fans! jaehyun also said that the place was so wonderful and said all the fans there were so wonderful and johnny came in to say that they had rehearsals the night before but being there with all the fans, it was a totally different feeling ;~; after that they performed touch and then when it came to cherry bomb (OT10 VER WITH JUNGWOO BTW), this was when things started to look a little :/// bc taeyong had already fell back during touch and at this point i was already beyond worried bc i would rather have them stop the whole thing all together rather than have them risk getting injured just to perform for us??? i shouted so many times to “be careful” in both korean and english T________T IT WAS LIKE THE DREAM CONCERT ALL OVER AGAIN WHEN THEY PERFORMED IN THE RAIN not to mention they had comeback promotions to do once they back to korea too so i rly just wanted them to stop ;;; i also think the members were all starting to get a little discouraged from all the slipping and stumbling during each performance and it kinda just looked like they were all really sad that they couldn’t put on a perfect performance ;; at this point the stage was soooooo slippery and i think they were more focused on not falling rather than performing and my heart rly just was in pieces ;;; taeyong fell again in cherry bomb during the leg split dance and it looked so painful oh my god i was just so WORRIED and i wanted it all to stop so bad ;~; but after cherry bomb ended, i think the members went back down to talk to the staff and then they came back up with different shoes! but finally!!! alas, they performed regular!!! since they switched shoes, the performance went pretty smoothly so i felt a little at ease! taeil, doyoung and mark were still wearing their original shoes so there were a few times when they slipped a little but thank god none of them actually fell ;; despite the song being a released earlier that morning, a lot of the fans did really well in learning the fanchants and singing along with the boys so i think it really helped in boosting the members’ confidence after the prior performances ;; there was a small ment here and doyoung talked and johnny translated it saying how basically the members felt really apologetic that they couldn’t put on good performances bc of the slippery stage and i was yelling with all the energy i had left in my that it was ok!!! that they were doing amazing and that they shouldn’t feel sorry!!! IT WAS KILLING ME INSIDE THAT THEY FELT THIS ASKDJKASDJAKJSDKD I WANTED TO ACTUALLY D*E but then they promised they’d come back to show an even better performance and doyoung held up his lil pinky!!! and then johnny asked how taeyong was doing and he answered back “i’m okay!!!” IN THE CUTEST WAY POSSIBLE… I JUST WANTED TO GIVE HIM ONE BIG FAT HUG T________________T and then taeyong said the last mission they had left was to take a picture with the fans and took out the selfie stick to take a picture with everyone! it was so cute TwT 

but yeah, overall the whole experience was really really amazing minus the slippery stage and for the most part, i was really impressed with how organized 1iota was! i’m really grateful i got to be apart of it and it still feels like a dream that i got to attend the event and see them perform and promote their new album here in america!!! they were amazing performers and did so well despite everything! i was really really proud of them ;; anyways, thank you to everyone that made it this far!!! i hope you enjoyed this fan account! i know it’s a super long post but if i don’t write it all out now while it’s still somewhat fresh in my mind, i’m going to forget it by the end of the month so i hope you all understand! thank you so much! ♡

[thehummingindontblameme-blog]

this is not your ordinary tour post.

you’re probably rolling your eyes rn, but it’s true because i’ve already had all my reputation shows. this is a thank you post to @taylorswift​.  to thank her for the out of body experience that happened on 5-12-18.  above is a picture of me.  i’m sam!! and i would do anything for taylor allison swift!!

i’ve been a swiftie since 2014, but i wish i could go back in time and have become a swiftie earlier in my life!  but don’t you dare doubt me when i say that i know every word to every song, from i’d lie to mary’s song, from sweeter than fiction to come in with the rain, from shake it off to you belong with me!  my room is plastered in posters of @taylorswift​ and i finally decided to start a tumblr. 

i remember watching the new romantics tour video and thinking “i can’t even imagine seeing her in real life”  because for the past 4 years i’ve just been watching her life in pictures, dreaming impossible dreams.  but then...

reputation dropped.  the blackout happened. i didn’t know what was going on, i was excited and scared.  but i knew that taylor swift was not over.  look what you made me do dropped.  i remember crying on my floor and asking my cat if it was real.  if it was real that taylor was back. i played look what you made me do on repeat until gorgeous dropped, then call it what you want.  and then reputation dropped.  and i just about died.  it’s still the best album i’v ever heard from anybody, and i’m just so happy that i’m able to be a swiftie in this era.  but one thing that stood out was that there would be a freaking tour.  i had a chance.  i looked at the tour dates.  santa clara is 4 hours away, easy, and the tickets were pricey, but i wished and wished and wished.  

it happened.  it was new years eve, my 13th birthday.  (coincidence??? i think not) my family was driving home from going out to lunch and my mom said, “you know what, why don’t you open some presents a little early” and i was like “heck yes” and she handed me this giant bag.  everything was tied with a ribbon, so i had to pull everything out one by one.  first, it was mt 5th copy of reputation, then it was the reputation t shirt, and then it was another target magazine, and then... lyrics written on cards. i was already crying from the merch, but then... there was a little envelope at the end.  i opened it, and i started sobbing. i screamed so loud, because there in my hands, were two reputation tour tickets.  i kept screaming “i’m going to breath the same air as her?? be in the same stadium as her???”  

i got to work.  i had 5 months till tour, and i spent those five months counting down the days, fantasizing about costumes and the set list, watching that new romantics video but with more positive thoughts in mind.  i made me costume, i made me sign. i was ready for it.  

spoiler alert: i was NOT ready for it

my mom and i drove the 4 hours, listening to @taylorswift the whole way. funny story:  our car got broken into, so we stopped at my aunt and uncle’s house, and i thought it was literally the sweetest thing that when i walked in, they were playing shake it off in their kitchen.  for me. so that’s why the window is taped up. but we didn’t let it affect our concert, we shook it off.  

we got to the stadium, safe and sound.  my heart was pounding, i was shaking and breathing heavily when i got there. i had to throw my sign away, but i was good with it. 

i got my very own snake ring at the merch trucks, and a tour t shirt that is probably my most prized possesion.  again, words cannot describe how freaked out i was.  i was saying “you mean... taylor allison swift is less than a mile away from me right now???”  

i painted my nails to say “i heart ts” and i drew a 13 on my hand.  

my mom was sick but she still came to the concert with me, so we were getting an iced coffee for her.  but while we were in line... the lights turned off.  the stadium went black.  i screamed, my mom and i ran to our seats.  we stumbled through people rushing to their seats, but we made it.  i was sobbing. the iconic “BABY LET THE GAMES BEGIN”  began after the iconic opening video and by then i was hyperventilating.  @taylorswift came on and i was screaming and i kept saying to my mom “she’s right there!! taylor swift is right there!!!”  and i was a mess but i think i was the mess she wanted.  

my mom took a ton of pictures of me screaming the lyrics, i think this was during ready for it.  

idsb was probably my favorite part of the show.  i was shook and wigless from the vocal shows and the insane fireworks.  at this point i was screaming “THIS IS THE BEST PART MOM THIS IS THE BEST SONG”  

and then at the end of idsb she smiled that smile of hers and looked out at that endless ocean of crowd and i realized i was part of that endless ocean of crowd so i just kept screaming at the top of my lungs “I LOVE YOU TAYLOR”  and “I WOULD DIE FOR YOU”  

taylor did a speech before gorgeous and called me gorgeous and that really does a lot for your self esteem so

love story and style and you belong with me were amazing, the holy trinity honestly.  

she played look what you made me do and I SAW KARYN BUT I DIDN’T KNOW HER NAME YET and i was probably the only one singing the background vocals in end game and it felt a m a z i n g

she did her little delicate speech and i was like “PREACH GURL” because she started talking about her break and how feeling lonely is different than feeling alone and i really felt that ya’ know?  literally anything that comes out of her mouth is gold.  

and then this queen pulled the best day out of her little pocket full of sunshine and surprise songs from 2009??? and it was really emotional for me and my mom because that’s our song and we both were singing it together and hugging and i started crying again.  

SHE SANG BLANK SPACE AND I DID THE SANTA CLARA BACKGROUD VOCAL THING OFC AND I LOOK AT HER HITTING THAT HIGH NOTE I’M SO PROUD OF HER VOCAL SKILLS

also i witnessed @taylorswift take off her dress but it’s cool it’s chill nobody freaking out over there i was completely calm and composed you know how i feel about taylor swift, i just think she’s alright and everything she does is nothing special 

and then the bad blood and SHOULD’VE SAID NO mashup came on and i died and rose up from the dead to take this picture my mom was like “let’s take a picture”  and i was like “i’m too busy dancing”  but then i let her take a picture of me...

the humming.  the humming in don’t blame me.  could it be... my STAN SONG??? THE BEST SONG TAYLOR ALLISON SWIFT HAS EVER RELEASED?? HUH?? ALL THE VOCALS AND THE BRIDGE AND THE CHORUS AND EVERY SINGLE LYRIC MY HEART WAS POUNDING I WAS THE LOUDEST ONE IN THE STADIUM AND I DIED DEAD DONT BLAME MEEEEE

 also LONG LIVE AND NEW YEARS DAY um excuse me while i drown in my tears

POEMS WERE READ TEA WAS SPILLED and then i heard “no nothin good starts in a getaway car” and I  L O S T  I T

here i am in hysterics again, screaming “WE NEVER HAD A SHOTGUN SHOT IN THE DARK” 

(i’m skipping around bc i don’t have that many pictures)

the “oooOOOOooOOOOh” in WANEGBT started playing and once again, i lost my composure.  

in conclusion, it was the best night of my entire life.  and i’m serious about that.  i saw @taylorswift with my own eyes.  i saw her in real life, her hot glue gun scar and her hella good hair, and it was unforgettable.  i saw her play the album that i love so dearly.  she taught me lessons in that stadium, lessons about loneliness and love and disappearance.  no, i didn’t meet her in reproom.  obviously i wanted to (i would give anything to)  but it wasn’t about meeting her.  

it was about being with her.  being too busy dancing to get knocked off our feet with her.  in that stadium, i felt free of judgement and i was able to dance and sing and have the time of my life.  and for that, i want to thank @taylorswift.  for putting on a show that i’ll look back on and smile and possibly cry.  i want to thank the dancers and the band and the background singers for making it even better, and i want to thank the people who clean up the glitter after the party.  thank you @taylorswift.  ever since may 12th, i’ve been doin’ better than i ever was.

[acidwaste]

hey so it seems i’ve forgot to do a l o t of tag memes, and i’m lucky i drafted a big bunch of them! lots of questions overlapped so i did my best to answer in different ways, sorry for the lateness! also @ the people that tagged me here, i wouldn't hesitate to kill for you

@natcaptor / @gayspaced

name: leon or lionel!

nicknames: literally the only nickname I’ve been referred to is “big gay” and like. word!

gender: im pretty sure im a guy, i have been kinda 🤔🤔🤔 abt my gender identity since around november-ish though

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1! i’m told that I’m tall but my uncle is 6’7 so...

time: 3:36pm rn! ive been watching video essays and binging music all afternoon

birthday: december 9th!

favourite bands: animal collective, beach house, camp cope, car seat headrest, death grips, fleet foxes, florence + the machine, gang of youths, glass animals, gorillaz, hop along, iceage, idles, kero kero bonito, mgmt, miike snow, modest mouse, run the jewels, superorganism, the avalanches, the cat empire, the go! team, the mountain goats, the wombats, xiu xiu

favourite solo artists: alex lahey, anderson .paak, ariana grande, billie eilish, bjork, cashmere cat, charli xcx, courtney barnett, cupcakke, d.r.a.m, eric taxxon, frank ocean, gfoty, hatchie, janelle monae, jeff rosenstock, joanna newsom, jorja smith, jpegmafia, kacey musgraves, kali uchis, kendrick lamar, khalid, kimbra, lorde, mac demarco, madeon, mick jenkins, mitski, oneohtrix point never, perfume genius, ravyn lenae, rina sawayama, serpentwithfeet, sophie, st. vincent, sza, vince staples

song stuck in my head: caramelo duro | miguel // kali uchis! its a bop, miguel is one of the few singers that can convincingly make sex jams

last movie i watched: deadpool 2! it was even better than the first, which is a feat in itself ngl

when did i create my blog: december 2016??? i only started using it properly in february last year tho

last thing i googled: “im in my mums car broom broom.” dont @ me

do i have any other blogs: yeah, plenty actually!! i have blogs for aesthetic (@moltenstar), general inspo (@wverns), flight rising (@szarising, kinda inactive?), and overwatch (@blackhardts) tbh the vast majority of my ‘sideblogs’ are just saved urls H

do i get asks: when i say stupid shit like “rung has the ass of a dilf but the dick of a cockroach”

why i chose my url: that one panel where kobd have a vacation at the acid wastes because fuck its finally canon babey!

following: 1,767, which is kinda horrifying!!

followers: 890?? somehow??? thats almost One Whole Thousand and i don't even make content

average hours of sleep: around 6 or 7!! n e v e r more though

lucky number: 43 and 64!!

instruments: i'm too poor to afford music lessons or instruments jsbddsjknfs

what am i wearing: a grey shirt and nothing on my bottom half so my [redacted] is hanging tf out, i should put on some damn clothes

dream job:  oooo uhhh, i’m studying to get an education degree rn because i’d love to teach children (around grade 3-4s preferably because i'm too jittery to handle anyone younger and older kids probs won't listen to me as much as i lack plenty of assertiveness), but!! i’d honestly love to be a musician, one of those underground ones that get lots of critical acclaim

dream trip: one day i wanna gather up some friends and just go on a road trip! idm where we go to, as long as we just have fun and just! adventure!

favourite foods: rare steak, mashed potatoes, eggs, and energy shakes made with like. fruit / cheese / yoghurt / oats / chia seeds ! protein is a large part of my diet

nationality: new zealand, but living in australia

favourite song right now: best part | daniel caesar // h.e.r - gosh i need to re-listen to daniel’s album again, i don’t remember this beautiful song being there and that’s a crime

@damndesi / @novarebel / @luciform-philogynist

APPEARANCE - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo (but I am getting a tā moko in December, I believe) - I have at least one piercing (planning to get a nose ring, like a bull!) - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined (b a r e l y) - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (barely) - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol (tastes like shit) - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concerts

MY LIFE - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live relatively close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone (do fractures count?) - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages (not fluently) - I have made a new friend in the past year

@smstransformers

age: 16

birthplace: auckland, nz

current time: 4:19 pm rn!!!

drink you last had: i just skulled half a liter of water whoops

favourite song: jesus etc. | wilco if we're talking abt an all-time favourite

grossest memory: accidentally swallowing a bee when i was seven years old (somehow nothing bad happened?)

horror, yes or no: not unless it’s an incredibly tame horror t b h, my threshold for scariness is very low

in love: i believe so!

jealous of people: lots of times, over really dumb things

love by first sight or should I walk by again: i believe that infatuation can exist at first sight but true love not so much. wish that could happen tho :C

middle name: shane!

siblings: my sister is eight years old, and my brother is seven!

one wish: EZ, make my anxiety disappear, i’d have a much more productive life

song i last sang: jupiter | haiku hands

time i woke up: 7:13, woke up immediately because i usually like to wake at 6:30

underwear colour: blue + purble

vacation destination: auckland / kingston / sydney!

worst habit: not remembering to make my goddamn bed, it looks like garbage

favourite food: mashed potatoes….

zodiac sign: sagittarius !!!

@alyonian

relationship status:

at the moment i’m single! and while being in a relationship sounds brilliant, the last two relationships i was involved in? didn’t work out to say the least, lucky i’m still young

favourite colour:

it’s been emerald green for the longest time but orange seems to be dethroning it at a steady pace

lipstick or chapstick:

i haven’t used chapstick since i was six but i probably should use it again, water is my substitute rn fdghdgh - and i haven’t ever used lipstick in any capacity? so i’d have to go with the former

last song i listened to:

the space traveller’s lullaby | kamasi washington - i’m trying to get through his second album rn (i left off on the second disk yesterday) and while everything he makes is undeniably amazing, it’s? a three hour album? i don’t have the attention span for his spiritual jazz, as great as it is

last movie:

monsters inc is playing on the television right now, i’ll go with that! the animation aged kinda badly but it’s still such a fun movie! sidenote: james p. sullivan? a childhood crush, so this gives me memories

top 3 tv shows/podcasts/comics:

i rarely, if ever, venture into these forms of media but! if i had to answer, i’d say;

unbreakable kimmy schmidt / parks & recreation / luke cage

taz / mbmbam (i havent like. watched a full episode of either but they seem cool,)

tf idw / …………. yeah that’s it, i’ve never read anything else. probably should!

additional favs:

my friends, writing (in theory), listening to video essays, learning music theory + instruments and understanding audio production software

top 3 bands / artists:

HHH okay if i had to limit my choices to just three artists, uh. lorde, the mountain goats, and sophie. i couldnt even fit janelle in i hate th is

----------------------------------

@alyonian

color(s): light colors are always nice and pleasant, though anything peachy and sandy are the best! orange (specially pastel orange) is like. the best thing

last band t-shirt i bought: usually merchandising is very expensive and i dont have the money to accommodate that, but like. i do recall having a wiggles shirt when i was five. i wore it all the time, shjdjgsksd im sure that counts

last band i saw live: i almost went to splendor in the grass last year with family, which wasn't only cool since i’ve never been out of the state since i immigrated - the festival was in queensland, which is around a two hour flight from victoria - but the lineup was pretty fuckin lit too! the xx, haim, peking duk, tash sultana, future islands, vallis alps, a.b original,, i was p excited! unfortunately my uncle fell ill and so they had to give the tickets to extended family :( otherwise, i haven't been to a single concert in my life

last song i listened to: street fighter mas | kamasi washington - up to this song on the album and i really fuckin dig this! also the video is hypnotizing

last movie i watched: monsters inc is about to finish and up next is monsters university! which like…. honestly, this is an extremely unpopular opinion but, i like it just as much as the original? my opinion might be skewed because i’m a monster [hugger], but i like everything abt the movie! except for the finale of the scare games and the last five minutes of the movie, both were just. dreadful.

last three tv shows i watched: if aggretsuko counts that’s the last series i watched of my own volition, which is a miracle in itself considering that’s legit only the second anime i’ve watched to completion (the first being shirokuma cafe, which i probably need to re-watch). otherwise, the last two shows i had beared witness to were thirteen reasons why and queer eye bc my cousin put them on! that first show i could completely do without but queer eye is iconique

last 3 characters i identified with: grimlock (legit. all of them), urdnot grunt (mass effect) and vector the crocodile (sth), i’m not sure what this says about me other than Big

book(s) i’m currently reading: i’m reading ‘maus’ by art spiegelman at the moment, for the third time i believe? i believe my classmates are supposed to be writing an essay on this next term and shit, this novel is heartbreaking, i haven't been this emotional when reading a book than… ever, really. it’s a recommendation of the highest caliber

@victorion

name: leon / lionel, i picked up the second name because i was in a server with an admin that was also a Leon™

nickname: besides ‘Big Gay’ i also have the nickname ‘lemon lion’ which is! nice!!

zodiac sign: archer man

height: Tall™

language(s) spoken: english / some maori + italian

fav fruit: watermelons (only when in season)

fav scent: the smell of a freezer tbh? it just smells Nice i don’t know how to properly explain it

fav season: spring! the breezes are welcoming without being overbearingly freezing

fav color: ornge,,,,

fav animal: SHARKS + CROCS + FERRETS

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea! with some milk tho

average hrs of sleep: too little

fav fictional character: One character?????? uhhhhhhh……. like. biggest cc right now is either idw skids or oz from monster prom

no. of blankets you sleep with: depending on my mood but i’d say the average is like, 3??

fav songs: i quickly whipped up some songs i listen to

fav artists: i came to the realization that i like acts that are considered ‘bad’ like maroon 5/drake/lil yachty etc in specific doses… i wouldn't call them good yet, but! i have no beef and thats good

fav books: remember ‘where the wild things are’??? that shit was like. literal childhood, man.. :happytears: i really need to look for a copy again

@thonany-klieme

name: leon / lionel, interchangeable really

gender: male, im probs an nb guy

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1

sexuality: gay??? im not sure, im mostly attracted to other guys but i have had very brief crushes on girls + nb people? sexuality’s confusing so im gonna just latch to the gaybel (gay label) for now

lock screen image: its the album cover of 1992 deluxe by princess nokia, tho it was “T Hanos” a few days ago since i change it often - my home screen is venom but his torso says ‘fuck machine’

ever had a crush on a teacher: no??

where do you see yourself in ten years: ideally i’m teaching kids math n english, realistically i’m probably going down with the political climate

if you could go anywhere, where would you go: new zealand!! or the netherlands

what was your favorite halloween costume: halloween is not big at all where i live, the only time i tried trick or treating was when i was like 7?? i threw a bedsheet on myself and pretended to be a ghost, though since there were no eyeholes + the sheet was blue, it looked more like i was just a moving lump

last kiss: never had one

have you ever been to las vegas: nah and i dont plan to?? how do you handle regular days of 40C wtf

favorite pair of shoes: i have this pair of jandals that ive worn for a fair bit longer than my other pair of shoes, tho i only wear them in summer + very warm nights

favorite book: ngl its. ‘the very hungry caterpillar’ by eric carle. i just, love it alot and i cant explain w h y

[noscorpsaladerive]

Flo in Bordeaux!!!!

I wrote up mine and Emily’s experiences seeing Flo yesterday but the verb tenses are all over the place and this is REALLY LONG so it’s going under the cut I hope y’all enjoy :)

So Emily and I got to Bordeaux around noon but we couldn’t check in until 14h so we were walking around trying to find food that didn’t cost 20€ per person and we accidentally came across the theatre!!!  They had a couple posters with Flo’s face on them and I nearly died omg.  We saw a couple of vans outside and I’m guessing it was all of their equipment.

Skip forward a few hours and one mild freak out session that resulted in breathing exercises later, and Emily and I FINALLY head over to the theatre about an hour before showtime.  There are already quite a few people outside, which surprised me a little bit, but the age demographic was very strange.  Like there were a lot of women who were at least in their 40s and 50s and even a gaggle of preteen girls not that enjoying Flo’s music is limited to a certain age group but it was just an unexpected demographic (as Erin said it’s the same one as 50 Shades of Grey lol).  But anyway while we were standing outside I heard some music playing AND IT WAS FLO’S SOUNDCHECK.  I think he was playing J’attends encore but they just played part of it but it was still enough to cause a heart attack dear goodness

So we finally get into the theatre (and there was this whole drama about the staff holding onto my fancy camera during the concert because apparently photos weren’t allowed ugh but ANYWAY) and it like still hasn’t quite hit that I’m actually seeing Flo again??? I think part of it might’ve been the fact that we had to get up at like 4:45 in the morning to go to the train station but I was like scarily calm considering this is Flo we’re talking about.

The opening act was a band from Bordeaux called MO and they were actually really good!! I’d looked them up beforehand and their music seemed like French country and considering that I don’t like American country I wasn’t too excited but it was a little bit more soft pop than country and it almost reminded me of Diane’s music??  It was a very similar genre regardless.  They got the audience to do this like percussive song thing with them and it was really fun I’d definitely be happy to see them perform again.

Then after a good while where the crew moved instruments around and they adjusted the lighting one last time the band walked on stage and started playing some music then FLO WALKED ON STAGE AND I COULDN’T STOP GRINNING LIKE AN IDIOT and they keep playing then he gets interrupted by his mom calling and he finally turns around and I see his stupid face and I’m gonna die just writing about this omg and he’s so damn cute and he’s now wearing a hoop earring (we were on Flo’s left so we had great views of the earring haha) and omg I’m still dying

Anyways after the fake phone call with his mom they start playing Se serrer la main which is one of my fave songs on that album but like i wanted to like stand up and jam along but no one else was standing??? Concerts that take place in real theatres stress me out idk if we’re supposed to stand or sit or what but ANYWAY

after that song ended he asked « Y’a des drôles de filles ici ce soir?? »/« Are there any drôles de filles here tonight? » (sorry I can’t think of how to translate drôles de filles rn) but I FLIPPED MY SHIT QUELLE DRÔLE DE FILLE IS SUCH A JAM (plus it’s my blog title lol) uhhhh idk which songs were next and I’m too lazy to pull up my recording rn to check but he sang a new song and damn it was such a jam and he was like noodling and dancing across the stage and i was struck by two things:  1) he seemed SO COMFORTABLE in his own skin and in his own body and i know he’s struggled with body issues before so it warmed my heart to see him so comfortable with himself and 2) he leaned backwards at one point (a mini-Rosenberggggg lean if you will) and I noticed his abs through his shirt???  And I was like wtf????  Are his abs just THAT well defined or is his shirt kinda see through??? Later on after I saw his nipples I was like YEP that shirt’s see through oops.  I knew his outfit seemed too normal I was getting suspicious. He also dabbed at the end of that song and you could feel half the audience groaning hahaha.

Uh I’m forgetting the song order but for Les Blessures qui ne se voient pas he started out a cappella and people were kinda singing along at first but everyone stopped and it was literally a silent theatre full of people listening to nothing but Flo’s voice and it was so beautiful and powerful I almost cried.  Oh I also almost cried when he did Te Ressembler because I wasn’t expecting him to do that song and it reminds me so much of the relationship I have with my mother and it just gets to me man.

After maybe like half an hour he started the whole bit where he tells us his life story starting with Canada which is a shame that he doesn’t start earlier because I would literally die to hear him perform some Lost Smile.  So he starts out the bit at a bar and he orders a rum and coke from the bartender (aka the guitarist who was wiping down his guitar with a towel as if it was a bar countertop lol) so the guitarist pours him a glass of wine and calls it rum and coke and Flo says « What kind of rum is this? » and the bartender/guitarist says « It’s Bordeaux rum! » and everyone screams since we’re in Bordeaux and Flo says that the best rum is from Bordeaux and everyone screams some more.

He talked about the friend he wrote « Alone » for then he performed said song and I nearly died I never in a million years thought I would ever hear him perform Canada songs live but also I feel like Emily and I were the only ones who knew the song???  The general feeling I got from the audience was confusion while I was jamming along having the time of my life.  The only other Canada song he performed was Mrs Mary which I don’t know as well as Alone but oh well.  

Next he did the getting a call to come audition for MOR and the fake audition and he was acting all cute and when the casting director aka the keyboardist asked how old he was he said 27 and like half of the audience squealed he was acting so cute then this motherfucker went and sang Bohemian Rhapsody which is ANOTHER song I thought I’d never hear him perform live and I just about died and cried I was a roller coaster of emotions last night okay?

Then he sang « L’Assasymphonie » and we all stood up and jammed and I’m pretty sure there was eye contact happening between us and I was living for it seeing Flo perform that song gives me life I have a video too but I’ll be uploading all my videos, pics, and recordings later.

Then he got a fake call from Dove (and I squealed really loudly when Flo mentioned Dove) and Dove said he’d had a dream about Flo with a big sword (ahem) and that’s how he introduced Quelque chose de magique and I died all over again it was like this really awesome rock arrangement and I was living for it @Dove why don’t you get Flo to do the arrangements for your musicals from now on at least that way you can’t tell him to chop all his hair off but I digress.  Tbh I’m really glad Flo did Quelque chose de magique because Mon combat is awkwardly just out of his lower range and Auprès d’un autre is just...yeah.  But it was so great to hear him sing LRA live again I was so pumped.

At some point during the musicals or just after Flo took another sip of the wine (which the guitarist had been drinking lol) and he said « Fuck that’s good I’m gonna need three or four more glasses » and tbh same but after the musicals they brought out a drum and let Flo drum for a bit and they did Sur mon nuage then he did Arrête somewhere in there???  Oh and the slow version of Je ne sais pas (which is the better version imo) which he apparently wrote about the girl who dumped him in Canada which I totally didn’t realize.

Then he was winding down the show and did that sped up version of Quoi de neuf which stresses me out because it’s so damn fast and he also kept switching up the lyrics in the chorus???? Like dude wtf I can’t sing along if you keep changing it!!!!

He left the stage afterwards but came back to do another new song whose name I forgot and he tried to teach us the chorus and was like « it’s really easy!! » but I couldn’t understand the words he was singing???? Oh well maybe he’ll release it on his next album whenever that’s happening (which he hasn’t even mentioned another album so I’m not holding my breath lol) then he ended with Qu’est-ce qu’un homme which is such a good song y’all it’s SO GOOD. But y’all when he had his arms around his band members to bow the Floobs were out they were really out there and idk how to process this information.

We headed outside to see about stagedooring and there ended up being two groups of fans at two different exits and we were kind of eying each other trying to figure out who was going to be right and if we needed to rush to the other side but all of the sudden everyone rushed to one of the theatre’s main doors??? So Emily and I rushed along and we were all penguin huddled together and no one really knew what was happening but we were all just waiting while the theatre staff opened the door and let a few fans in at a time.  We finally figured out that we were meeting Flo inside which I thought was nice since that way he wasn’t being crowded by a bunch of fans at the same time.

So Emily and I finally get inside except I’m getting loopy because of lack of sleep and we really hadn’t eaten that much that day either and I was SO CLOSE to deciding I was going to tell Flo I was disappointed he didn’t do any Lost Smile lol.  So the line of fans goes around a corner so we can’t really see what’s happening until we get up close and we can see the dudes that opened the show and we thought Flo would be after them but no you greet Flo first and that’s when my heart started beating real fast I wasn’t fucking ready y’all but we were doing it.

So I finally get up to Flo and he and a staff member are talking about how many people are still waiting and he didn’t quite see me at first when I handed him my ticket to sign and when they’re done talking I quietly say « hi » and Flo finally sees me and y’all he got so fucking excited I was so worried he wouldn’t recognize us but he did!!!!!!!! Even though it’s been almost two years!!!!! He asks us how we’ve been and he seemed so sincere and genuine and so interested like he really did want to know how we had been doing and as he’s signing Emily’s ticket I asked what his cat’s name was and he said he wasn’t saying right now but that he was going to announce it later.  But he did tell us his cat was super sweet and that he didn’t make too much noise in the morning and that he will play fetch like a dog and I was like omg my cat too!!! I’m also 95% sure at some point during this convo I straight up told Flo I love his cat but idk if he heard but he didn’t seem weirded out lol so that was good.  Flo took selfies with me then while he was taking selfies with Emily I said, « The concert was better than Harry Potter » (a reference to the classic « Song For A Lunatic ») and he was trying so hard not to lose it mid-selfie and I’m pretty sure it was the cause of the blep in Emily’s selfies it was so fucking great hahaha then the theatre staff fussed at all of us because we were taking so long but it was so worth it. He thanked us for coming and seemed really sincere about it like it wasn’t in just a « I need something to close this convo with fans » way it was like really genuine and this man and his sincerity will be the death of me.

Emily and I stayed calm until we got outside the theatre then we fucking lost it and screamed at Emily’s mom on the phone while she was at work because FLORENT MOTHE RECOGNIZED US and he had like a substantial conversation with us and he didn’t with the people ahead of us and he smiled SO MUCH in our selfies it was so amazing I feel so validated as a fan like one of my all time fave singers actually knows who I am and I’m dying.

I recorded most of the concert so I’ll post that recording and some pictures and videos later on!!  Damn this turned out wayyy longer than expected lol.

[leegeumhyuks]

Seventeen in Toronto Highlights (Long Post)

this is gonna be such a shit post im basically ranting bc i have a lot of seventeen feels rn (its gonna be long too)

the concert happened like 4 days ago and I’m still not over it

Okay so I live in new Brunswick so it was a 15 hour drive one way. We drove up the day before and drove home the day after.

It was tiring, but so worth it. One of the best experiences of my life(oh btw i went with a friend ^^)

(not relevant to the concert but we went to a cute Korean store called Sarah and Tom which had a MASSIVE collection of kpop albums so I bought Going Seventeen and a BTS album :) )

Alright so the concert was at a place called Massey Hall which is more like a theater than a concert stadium [lowkey looked like a place you would go to see a play or an opera or some shit]

it was a pretty small place so really no matter where you sat, you could see really well so any seat was a good seat

Me and my friend were center-balcony near the back so we had a very clear view of the stage (other than there was some tall dude in front of me so it was a bit difficult at times)

We arrived outside the venue at around 6:20 (concert started at 7) and the line to get in already went around a whole block. People were stopping to ask what was going on and apparently it made the Toronto news??

So we get in at around 6:40 and the venue is already more than half full and theyre just playing music videos and everyone was singing along

And when I say everyone was singing along i mean everyone

Honestly I only remember a few of the songs but I they played BoomBoom, Very Nice, Highlight, Healing, and Check In

I have never been happier in my entire life when every single damn person in the venue did Mingyu’s “WhhoAHHH YeaAAHHH’ part. Super. Fucking. Loud

Alright so let me tell you my dudes, It was the biggest adrenaline rush when all the lights went out and you could see the boys run out on stage in the dimness. My heart felt like it stopped.

The lights turn on and I hear Dokyum say “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Diamond Edge” but honestly I wasnt even paying attention bc I was just so blown away

Literally my very first thought upon seeing them was “They’re not real” bc the very first person I looked at was Jeonghan and I thought he was so damn gorgeous he must be fake

He’s literal ethereal. I could go off about how good looking he is. Honestly the true visual of Svt (i swear hes not my bias)

So the very first stage was Pretty U and honestly I dont remember much bc i was too busy freaking out over the fact that I was actually there and they were actually here. I just remember everyone dancing along to Dokyums “Neoneoneoneo” part and all of us doing the “Yeppeuda” part

(they performed Beautiful right after and i really dont remember much of it other than the dance in the chorus [i have such a shit memory its mainly why im making this post before ill forget it all])

So after that they went straight into Adore U (which is my fav svt song although it probably isnt anymore after habits but ill talk about that in a bit)

Oh man if you thought I went off about Jeonghans visuals let me tell you about this mans vocals. They’re so sweet. Sweeter than honey. Jeonghans part in the chorus is my absolute favorite part of the song and it sounds 10000x better live. He just sings it so flawlessly while doing the dance and overall I was just so impressed??

Jihoon also sounded amazing but like let me just take a minute and say every single member sounded fucking perfect and flawless like if you aren’t stanning Seventeen then what are you doing

And the dances were so on point too. I didn’t notice any slip ups or anybody trippin or nothing. Like you’d think they’d show signs of fatigue or being tired bc they did two shows the few days before but they were all so hyped and gave their all in every stage and they genuinely looked like they were enjoying themselves

Anyways back to Adore U

Everyone in the crowd did the “Akkinda” part and I could see Soonyoung smiling so big bc of that like he was really happy bc of it

After Adore U finished they all lined up to do their intros and introduced themselves as a group and then did their individual intros

Most of them just did a casual “Hi I’m ___” but then you had the extra™️ members

Soonyoung got us all to chant something (im not sure what it was exactly I think it was ‘rock the beat’) and then he did his usual “What time is it??” “10 Hour 10 Minute” which honestly made my life i was hoping for him to do that (i love soonyoung sm honestly most of my favorite moments of the concert were bc of him)

Dokyum also did a thing where he got everyone to scream for him

All of their intros were great but none of them were as memorable as Jihoons for me

I know a lot of people were saying ‘He’s not that small in person’, but to me he was so small and cute and I just wanted to go and hug him bc hes so freaking adorable

So Jihoon’s kinda quiet and shy in general, we know that from variety shows and such but I saw it a lot in the concert. Like when other members were talking he just stood quietly with his hands folded and there was this one part where they all ran towards the edge of the stage and gave hearts and Jihoon like covered his face a bit and looked embarrassed 

So anyways he does like this cute little “Hi guys” and I just fucking melted right there. I made an audible “awwwww” sound that my friend was like ???

I love Jihoon so much and I will forever see him as the cute and adorable little smol (boi got a voice tho holy shit)

So they talked a bit more after that about how they walked around Toronto a bit the day before and how they were impressed with the crowd dancing along to Pretty U and Mingyu taught us a little chant where they would say “Seventeen Carat” and we would go ‘clap clap Ehhhhh’ it was weird but cute

So they went straight into Still Lonely from there and I hate my brain for not remembering most of it bc its one of my favorite songs but I just remember Minghao doing Jun’s part in the last chorus and sounding amazing honestly i want an official 13 member version of that song

So after that was Very Nice which was indeed, very nice. Dancing on point. Dino and Vernons rap were amazing and the whole audience did the “Maja” part

Also dont remember much of that stage but I definitely remember the last part bc thats the part where my son, Chan, is in the front. 10/10

Okay so I have 2 favorite performances of the night. One of which was Swimming Fool. I am such a hoe for Performance unit (considering 2 of my biases are in it) so actually every performance of theirs was my fav but Swimming Fool tho. 

That song is one of my favs and I had never seen the dance before so I was basically dying the whole time. Soonyoung’s little wiggle dance and the jumping up and down dance that Chan did. The whole dance was so cute tbh Ive been re-watching that video every day since. (if youve never seen the dance pls watch this. Not my video tho) 

Alright imma talk about Soonyoung for a minute. This boi. Was so hyper the entire concert. He  was doing his usual yelling during songs and was giggling a whole lot, I noticed. (He also dabbed like 20 times and i was like someone pls stop him)

(There was one part where he went and dabbed right in front of Jihoon and i laughed a little harder than i should have)

And I’m honestly so glad that Soonyoung was feeling great the whole time bc apparently at the Chicago(?) show he wasn’t able to perform bc he was sick so we were extremely blessed that all 13 members were well and healthy to perform for us so like thank u jesus for keeping them all safe

(I was lowkey worried about that a lot before the concert bc of when I heard Hyungwon was missing parts of the tour with MX so I was like “Lord pls let it be all 13″)

anywho so all the members went to change outfits and they played a vcr (dont remember what of tho i have such a shit memory)

So yall they did Mansae next and started out with the class chairs and Dokyum was the teacher at the blackboard it was rlly cute!! ^^ And towards the end they repeated the “MansaeMansae” part and got everyone to do the dance it was such a great time

So while the rest of the group was preparing for the next stage(i presume), Chan and Seungcheol came out, just the two of them, with a gopro and said it was the camera for “Going Seventeen” and were filming the crowd and interacting with us a bit. And then they had a dance battle (Which Dino clearly won Seungcheol didnt stand a chance against Michael Chanson)

So then everybody came out and did BoomBoom which was  incredible (every stage was amazing i feel like i shouldnt have to say it) Most of the crowd even did the shirt thing which was really fun. Chan slayed his rap (i love my son)

So after that there was another vcr and the members changed outfits again

Vocal unit came out and sang We Gonna Make It Shine and boys let me say I have never fell in love with someone vocals so much before in my life. Like I’ve always loved Jihoon’s voice bc it was unique and its got a nasally tone to it and I love it, but hearing it in person made me love it 100x more

And for a while I actually thought Jihoon wasn’t singing?? Bc he just sounded so flawless, like exactly like the recording that I thought ‘maybe hes lip singing bc his throat is bad or something’ and I’m hitting myself now for even thinking that bc really Lee Jihoon is just the most amazing vocalist I’ve ever heard Boo Seungkwan who???

So yeah Vocal unit slayed even though I’ll always like the 2014 version of that song with Soonyoung better

As soon as that song ended they went straight into Don’t Listen and omg let me talk about visuals. The stage had this whole setup with a table with some fancy ass candles on it and there was a throne that Joshua was sitting in and the lighting was really eerie and I really don’t listen to that song much but im gonna listen to it every day from now on bc damn

HipHop unit had their turn next where they did some song which I had never heard of before called “On Haeng Il Chi” and it was dope then went into Check In and once again everyone did Mingyus “ohhhhhHHh yeahH” part (glorious I tell you)

Seungcheol was serving looks the whole time bc he was wearing this black suit set and he just looked so good the whole time. Honestly Seungcheol was such a tease the whole concert and i got a look at his thighs at one point and man he thicc

Vernon was also wearing this nice green shirt and I just really liked it for some reason and I wish I had taken more pictures and videos I hate myself for not doing that

AlrIGHT Performance Unit time!!! So leadin up to the concert I thought they were gonna perform “WHO” bc it was a bonus track and I just thought they would perform it for some reason so when they were all standing there ready for the song to start, the amount of confusion on my face when OMG came on… Wasn’t disappointed tho that performance was awesome

Still would like to see a performance of WHO tho I hope they’ll do that next time

And then they did Highlight and me and my friend even switched seats so I could get a better video of it bc I love that song so much. Also leading up to the concert I knew they were going to do this song but I wasn’t sure if they were going to do 13 member version or not but I’m glad it was just the 4 of them

Oh man okay I’m gonna talk about my bias, Chan, for a second. His stage presence in every song is seriously amazing. A main reason why hes my bias is bc im a huge fan of his dancing and his dance style(and he pretty cute) and seeing him perform live was incredible. it was almost overwhelming bc I couldnt believe someone this talented existed and I was watching them in their element 

Like he put his all into the dance while still executing his raps and vocals perfectly. His voice actually does sound a bit different live, like its a bit higher than I expected but he was so on point the whole night why is he such an underrated member

Okay so the members had another outfit change after this and these outfits were straight up sinful. Not to mention the first song they performed in them was equally as sinful so I’m going to on about this performance bc this was the best performance imo. I will never forget it. It’s ingrained into my brain forever

So Crazy In Love starts. Okay so I don’t listen to this song much as far as just listening to it in my free time, but I’d seen the dance before so as soon as I heard the music, I knew we were royally fucked. I wasn’t expecting this song probably bc i forgot it existed but its my new fav song guys this performance ruined me. 

So the lights come on at the very first part and these mofos are wearing tight black skinny pants (which looked like they were leather but they werent) and red silk sparkly shirts that were tucked in. Every single member looked flawless 

(Also didn’t mention this before but all of their hair was styled so well bless the stylists. I normally prefer a more natural color for hair on idols so I was glad the colorful dye had faded and most of them just went with black or brown)

But lord have mercy when the song started. Okay Chan is my bias but I could not stop staring at Soonyoung almost the entire time - minus for Chan’s “talking about love” part (which I remember doing the dance for and screaming while doing so)

Like you get Swimming Fool Soonyoung whos all cute and playful and going “YEEEE HAWW” during the song and then you get Crazy In Love Soonyoung whos all bedroom eyes and sexy glares and just everything about the way he moves is mesmerizing (i swear. Hes NOT my bias)

So getting through the first chorus is hard enough when BOTH my bias and bias wrecker are up in front doing that provocative shit and I was so conflicted on which one to stare at but I ended up staring at Soonyoung the whole time. 

And then in the second chorus when it’s just Jeonghan doing it and both me and my friend screamed so loud ugh the outfits were so perfect for this dance i wanted to D I E

And then it gets to the Part in the song yknow the “Ooohhhhh” part where they spin around and when it was Soonyoungs part to do that by himself. I don’t even have words for how that made me feel. That image is in my mind forever. You know that meme thats like “you ever wonder whats going on in someones head?” well yeah its that for me

It’s just Soonyung doing that one dance move

okay moving on Ive talked about this enough

My I was right after and I’d never seen the dance to that either and it was really beautiful and cool like idk how to describe it. It was like a very romantic type of dance and Jun and Minghao had such great chemistry on stage together they really blew me away

OKay now imma freak out some more bc Vocal Unit performed Habits. I actually recorded this whole song so I wasn’t really paying attention to what was happening on stage bc they were all just standing there with mic stand anyways. I was enjoying the audio and their lovely vocals. (Again, Jihoon really exceeded my expectations in this song. Like for some members like Dokyum and Seungkwan I know theyre gonna sound great and its not like I didn’t for the rest but I’m just still not over how good EVERYONE sounded)

So I’m enjoying them vocals and the song ends and my friend taps on my arm and points to her face and there are actual tears. This bitch really cried. At the time I was like “during Habits of all songs??” but i was so naive now I understand(I cried 2 days later listening to that song)

Hiphop unit then did If I which I remember 0 of I think I was still too shook from Vocal Unit

I just remember their little hip thrust dance and then immediately after was a ment and Soonyoung was mimicking HH units dance and giggling like an idiot and got the whole crowd to sing and dance to If I

“Ohh Toronto. Dancing good”

Then they were all arguing over which unit’s performance suited Toronto the best but then decided that they all did

And then Soonyoung dabbed

Too many times

Everyone also dabbed with him this group is a M E S S

And then they got Jeonghan to do Aegyo so he spun around and made a heart and said “Toronto I love you!” in the cutest voice possible I swear I’m in love with Jeonghans voice

And then Wonwoo did a cute little dance to which we all chanted ‘Go Wonwoo’ for and then Soonyoung dabbed

again

(It made Jihoon cringe every time)

Then Jeonghan tried to get Seungkwan to sing something and Boo was like ‘moVING ON” but he gave in and sang a bit of Hello by adele which was really nice. Like damn the acoustics in that theater were no joke bc its a theater (i assume) made for plays and stuff and him singing without any track sounded really nice.

And then they asked my boi Chan to dance so he started singing Billie Jean by Michael Jackson and doing the hipthrust dance and Seungkwan ran over like ‘nOO”. But Chan just kept dancing and singing and having a good time and being w i l d  to which Seungcheol cracked up at. He literally fell on the floor laughing

And they kept going on about how this was a totally special stage for Toronto, “only for Toronto”

So then they went on to say they were gonna perform a very “hot” song next and my clueless ass was like ‘Don’t wanna cry?’ but naw it was ROCK which I only recorded part of bc the lighting was bad and my phone sucks

But okay I can just say that Wonwoo’s voice sounds 10x deeper in person. If you thought his rap was really deep in that song, wait until you hear it live. For a long time Wonwoo was my favorite rapper in kpop and I think hes regaining that title he was very good the whole night and I really like his deep voice

and then they did Chuck which was SO AMAZING HOLY CRAP

I love that song sm in the first place but I love it even more now upon seeing and hearing it in person. I recorded a bit of that one too and love it i watch that video like 3 times a day

So then they had another short Ment where they taught us the dance to Chuck and Soonyoung doing the “brrrr” part was so adorable I wanted to die. (I feel like Im talking about Soonyoung a lot but im just so glad he was able to perform in Toronto ilysm)

So then Vernon was like ��I actually have some bad new for yall” and all the members were like ‘whaaat??’ and pretending to be shocked

So Vernon goes on: “The next song is actually the last song for the night” and Soonyoung made this fake crying noise and then dabbED LIKE 5 TIMES

That was when he went over to Jihoon and dabbed right in front of him and then was like “Oh my god our last song?”

and then Vernon being the cheeky ass that he is was like “Yeah and I really dont wanna cry about it” and then him and Soonyoung went to the back of the stage to “cry” and all the other members were “crying”

Then Vernon came back and like “I wonder what our next song is tho? Hm????” and im like really bitch

So Soonyoung yelled ‘are you ready’ a few times and then they performed Don’t Wanna Cry which was INCREDIBLE 

They were all in perfect sync like im seriously amazed. These boys probably have to practice day and night to get dances like that. It was amazing

So the boys left the stage for a bit and there was a another vcr which was of all the member explaining what carats were to them and it was really sweet and my friend cried again (she cried like 3 times that night) and I died at Jihoons bc there was this short clip of him and hes just so darn cute

so they came out again and performed Shining Diamond but were wearing casual jeans and half were wearing blue shirts and the other half were wearing pink shirts and Soonyoung looked so good in that outfit bc his shirt was tucked in in the front and his hair was just so great

anyways they all looked like they had fun performing that song and Soonyoung was yelling as usual and there was one part of the dance that was super satisfying bc all the colors of the shirts lined up and it was just really nice to look at. 

And then they performed Healing which we had special banners to hold up during. There was one part I remember bc I couldnt see bc everyone was holding their banners above their heads, but Seungcheol jumped onto Mingyus back and koala hugged him for a good minute and a half and Mingyu kept trying to get him off and Seungcheol just smiled like an idiot and latched on. Eventually he got down and then grabbed his water bottle and dumped half of it onto the people in the front(splash zone)

So once that song ended, Toronto Carats had actually prepared something special for Seventeen. So certain seats had a red board on it that you would hold up after Healing ended but only so many seats had them so it made a message in the crowd and I think it was just 2 hearts and ‘1 7′ and the members looked really surprised like Vernon and Minghao were next to each other and were like :O

Seungcheol and Jeonghan looked really shocked too, overall none of them expected it

So then the goodbye ments came and I was ready to die as soon as they started. They all said the similar kind of thing like “we had a good time we’ll come again soon ect…” 

But Minghao’s was all in english and it was the cutest damn thing i have ever heard in my life. He started out with “Today I am so happy because of our Toronto Carats energy.”

and then says the cutest shit ever: “We are like friends. We look after each other and love each other” He also kept looking over at Vernon to make sure he was saying it right

and then he said something like “we care for each other” and the fkcigingf df went “and everyone, don’t be sick. Always be happy okay?” IN LIKE THE CUTEST WAY POSSIBLE I WANTED TO SCREAM I MEAN I PROBABLY DID BUT STILL

and then I only remember Chan saying something like “We’ll be back soon, and when we are you have to promise that you’ll come to our show” and then Soonyoung and Seungcheol held out their pinkies for us to promise them and I held my pinky bc I damn promise if they come to Toronto again I will be seeing them for sure. Or I’ll try my best anyways

and they all gave us hearts and said they loved us and did a bow and then all had to leave the stage and I almost cried;;

I remember Soonyoung was the last to leave the stage bc he kept waving and saying goodbye

Also I remember a person sticking their hand out one last time and it was kind funny bc I just see this random hand pop out for like a split second. I didn’t know who it was at the time, but I later found out it was Dokyum :3

So yeah, he’s not my bias, but Soonyoung made my night

Anyways. I’m still having post-concert depression. Honestly I don’t think I’ll ever be able to listen to another seventeen song again without crying. All in all, it was one of the best nights of my life and if it wasn’t for my best friend who bought the tickets and surprised me with them and her mom who drove us up the whole long way. Highlight of my summer. 

[recordofmyreverie]

Asheville, NC in April 

(April 17, 2017)

Asheville, NC is one of the most unique and special places I’ve ever been to, and it’s a great place for me to escape to. I’ve been there probably 6 or 7 times now since the first time I went for my 15th birthday and saw the Biltmore Estate with my parents. 

Since I won’t be able to go to Asheville as easily for a few months, I had to have one last road trip before my upcoming flights. I got to see familiar faces and places, and got even more than I asked for. 

On my first night in Asheville, I met up with my friend, Margarita at a Vegan restaurant off of Lexington Avenue called Rosetta’s. The first time I’d been there was when I went with RN and he got a Tempeh Reuben sandwich while I munched on a vegan Pad Thai with apricot dressing that cleverly replaced the fish sauce. Margarita has never had vegan food before, so I thought this would be a good experience for her. She opted for a Vegan burger with vegonnaise, vegan cornbread, and fries, which I thought was a good starting point for someone who still craves meat. She did well, but wouldn’t want to try the vegan cheese because cheese can never be replicated in a way as delicious. I got myself a “Buddha Bowl” which contained kimchi, sprouts, avocado, tempeh, and a ball of brown rice topped with a peanut butter sauce. 

It was beautiful weather outside and the sun was setting at around 7:30 PM. It was funny seeing Margarita wearing a similar military jacket to the one that she wore when I first met her. Her hair was even close to the same length, just a little bit shorter. It was as if we’d come full circle. From when she picked me up at my hostel to when she dropped me off again later that night before heading home, the whole experience was like a deja vu, except I was a lot happier than I was before. 

The last time I saw her in Asheville, I was there because I was depressed. My heart was just ripped out of my chest and I went there to seek some spiritual healing. What I found later was that the best way to heal is to have great friends around you, and to just be hugged. I showed Margarita all the places where I had good memories and met great people like at Dobrá Tea where I met with a psychic or Odd’s Café where  I met several inspiring people who were kind enough to stay and chat a while. It just seems like whenever I’m there something magical happens, but it could be because I look for those magical occurrences. Even if I do, I’d consider myself lucky. 

While we were in the car, she said that while I’m gone, she wants to have a cool experience to tell me about. She asked me how I could just be walking anywhere, and someone would come up and talk to me and usually I’d find out that person had a really cool story to tell. She’s right, that does happen a lot, but it wasn’t always that way. 

When I look back at how I was 5 or 6 years ago, I was extremely closed off. I let nobody into my bubble because I was afraid and I didn’t like who I was. I ate lunch in the library and the art room because I preferred not meeting people. It was intimidating to see cliques and want to break those barriers, and it still is. I hardly ever will join or form any sort of group, and I always strike conversation with someone when they are alone or with one other person. 

Once you erase judgement from a first impression that would prevent you from talking to someone, you find that everyone has the potential to be interesting. What keeps people from talking to each other is either the fear that they are “better” than you or the misconception that you are too good for them. We have to realize that everyone is equal and there is no “better” because everyone is good at something. 

Once I got rid of my fear of talking to strangers, I think people are able to sense that, so more people have started talking to me instead. Ultimately, the message that you send out to others will come back to you. 

I met several people on my trip this weekend including a Ukrainian mother and daughter, a girl from New Jersey who was looking for a place to live, one of the people who worked at the hostel, Jim who came all the way from Connecticut to help his friend move from Asheville to Florida, Paul who came from Florida to look for a roommate in Asheville, a group of foreign exchange students from Germany, a group of vegan anarchists in the park, a yoga teacher on a Tinder date at Dobrá Tea named Krystle, a concert-goer from across the room named Justin, and a guy who needed to sell an extra ticket named Lowell. 

I brought and shared my own food, and in return found free food in the park for an anarchist party function that I was later kicked out of (oops). Then I bought a wig on sale for $20 after taking an Uber to downtown from West Asheville because I needed a new disguise and I knew I would still blend in perfectly despite wearing something so bright (it was a platinum-blonde bob with peekaboo pink hi-lights in the fringe). I wasn’t wearing any makeup, so I waltzed into Urban Outfitters to put on some bright eyeshadow and lipstick from the samples and I found some glasses there for $5. I obviously got some looks in the store, but who’s to care when I won’t be there tomorrow? Plus they were samples, so it’s encouraged for people to try it!

I had about an hour before seeing Explosions in the Sky at the Orange Peel, so I went to Dobrà Tea where I had some delicious Lychee Tea while sitting on tiny pillows on the floor behind beaded curtains. I heard a girl talking about astrology, so I jumped in and asked her what my sign was. She guessed I was a fire sign like she was probably since I took that initiative and was pretty flashy-looking, but I surprised her when I said I was a Scorpio. I could see clearly that she was probably a yoga teacher based off of the way she looked and how she was sitting with perfect posture, and I was right! Her name was Krystle.

A guy named Justin was sitting across from us and overheard me talking about the concert with Krystle. It just so happened that he was going to the same one! Simply putting myself out in the open with these people allowed me a ride to the show from Krystle, a person to enjoy the music with named Justin, an introduction to Justin’s new friend Lowell, and a ride to our next destination at The One Stop from Lowell plus a ride back to my hostel later that night from Justin. I took three rides total from strangers that I had just met that night, and one ride that I paid for by Uber to get to downtown. 

After such an eventful and social night getting to see my favorite band ever plus a new favorite called Thor and Friends, I shared the story of my entire night with the mummy sleeping bag boy, Paul. I finally slept at 3 AM, and then by sunrise I was on the way home to make it in time for Easter Brunch with my family. 

I thought of all the fun I had the night before and the memories were aided by my new Thor and Friends CD blasting on my stereo. I guess the combination of loud music and sleep deprivation plus a wide open road caused me to be halted by a state trooper. Fuck. I got another speeding ticket. After all the luck and great experience I had in Asheville, though, a speeding ticket was not so bad. I didn’t know what I’d be doing after Alaska before, but I guess the answer came knocking on my window in the form of a state trooper telling me I had to be present in court on September 20th. I guess I’ve got to be anchored somehow, otherwise who knows where I’d drift off to.