#i did zero of the things i meant to do btw it's not late because i did something it's late because i did Nothing
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me: yeah I'm gonna go to bed at a reasonable time and have an early start tomorrow
also me: *doing yoga at eleven thirty pm*
#hmmmmmm#i did zero of the things i meant to do btw it's not late because i did something it's late because i did Nothing#i didn't even cook. deadass the last thing i consumed was the meal replacement shake twelve hours ago#it's fine i'm gonna cook tomorrow. still have little sausages#rayrambles
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Yes him seemingly resisting the procedure is very irritating especially because the storyline the procedure happens in implies that it did work on him, since he was their lab rat and they wouldn't have gone on to use it on the other rogues if that first test hadn't worked.
Do you know that one comic where Batman's soul gets separated from his body and Riddler desperately tries to get a hold of it, but when he does get Batman "inside" of him the clashing of his own neuroses with Batman's immediately makes him feel horrible and he tries to get rid of the Bat-soul again right away? That is essentially the sort of plotline I expected from the machine that "inserts a part of Batman's mind into yours telling you to stop crime", if not the setup for a reform arc proper (a PI one even, since a combination of Riddler and Batman should have even more of a drive to solve clues and cases). Was there anything you expected from this?
(Sorry for the correspondence btw I hope it's not annoying)
Oh yeah the "Primal Riddle". Another comic that failed to explore it's premise properly imho. I expected Edward pretending a little bit harder to reform, or do anything more interesting that looking like a malnourished orangutan.
The reason I love Eddie, besides him being silly, eccentric and a man full of contradictions , is how tormented and fucked up he can be under all that green and purple, while seemingly not being much more than "Just some guy". By fucked up I don't mean an empty shell of a person, who murders people for no reason. I mean his crippling insecurity, his tendency to shoot himself in the foot, and his attachment issues.
We haven't had much luck with this lately. The last story even attempting to touch on these elements of his character ,was his appearance in Year of the Villain. (I liked that story btw) My Boy Edward got sterilized, after Zero Year ,and he is not allowed to be silly in the name of making him a "serious threat". I have yet to be able to figure out how removing his zest will help with that.
Look at this nonsense from Primal Riddle. He owns a Sieve manufacturing business, and he is banging some artist/model. (Another pre 52 Riddler thing that has been neglected, is his love of art, he is purely a tech wizz now. You know when a writer cares about his character when he is allowed to be more of a theater kid. )
I just know, she is making him put on a leash and a collar and ordering him around , while he is on all fours. It's a shame how quickly he decides to get rid of her.
This is what I meant by the comic not exploring it's theme to it's full extent. Edward somehow deduces that Batman's essence is loose, he chases it down and acquires it, then he tries to get rid of it, at the first sign of distress. He should have wrestled with it a bit more. He is obsessing over the "primal riddle" the whole time, but we never get any satisfying conclusion to that whole thing.
He is being a murderous bastard in this story btw, but he is also doing silly stuff like this. I adore it when he interacts with his goons like this.
#green bastard man#riddler#batman#Batman's spirit is haunting him like a bad bout of gastroenteritis.#sorry if there are sentences that don't make much sense it's late
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I swear i thought i replied to some of your questions a few days ago but i’m starting to think that I might’ve forgotten to and now i feel bad. But to summarize it: When we first started watching, he thought that Gale looked a little bit like Ashton Kutcher (but older version) and it was the funniest thing ever to me. He did only talk about it in the pilot though. Btw I am more and more tempted to later on give him Gale’s out of the box interview to watch. Or Randy’s podcast. He has been asking me about the actors a lot lately and if they still act and where are they and if theyre all still friends and I’m avoiding answering because well, one of them abandoned his podcast and the other one we dont even know if he’s still alive until we get a new photo. But I do wonder how he will react when he finds out Gale is straight ngl because right now he fully thinks Gale is gay irl.
Also yes, he has been going on and on about Brian’s growth and how he’s changed since he clocked it around 4th episode. He is so happy that he’s growing and allowing himself to be happy and in love even if he doesn’t want to admit it, that i just know the second 5x01 will start, he will have a mental breakdown and it will be very valid of him.
Your celebrities/therapist story actually made me curious now because how can a celeb that is well known, even get a therapist then without weirdness. I had no clue this was kind of a thing. And yes! My brother would absolutely launch into a discussion about Gale without shame, he’d have pictures and everything ready for it. I mean his confidence when it comes to talking to literally anyone about anything in his life (usually interests and shit he’s done thats funny to him or in this case the show) is impressive as fuck but also for an innocent bystander like me? actually a nightmare to be around that. He truly doesn’t give a single fuck and has zero shame and all the confidence in the world and idk how he does it. He just tells anyone who will listen (not in a trauma dumping type of way but like his interests and such? No shame) to give an example: when he was in high school he made an entire poster presentation for his class to talk about his love for the movie School of Rock and HE DID IT BY SINGING A FAKE ROCK N ROLL SONG (id give anything to remember the lyrics). Mind you, the presentation was supposed to be about current events in politics/world and School of Rock came out like a year or two prior. So you best believe he would do the exact same for Gale or more importantly QAF/Brian/Britin. And as someone who does shy away from talking about qaf just because it is a lot, he on the other hand truly gives zero fucks. Because when we started watching the show, he was fully explaining to the nurses/doctors/anyone that listened(our parents!!!) about how the show is AND HOW BRITIN MET! He TALKED ABOUT THE RIM JOB! I NEVER EVEN FUCKING TOLD YALL THAT! HE TALKED TO OTHER HUMANS ABOUT THE RIM JOB! AND HE WAS FULLY EXPLAINING IT bc he was shocked and surprised at how they filmed it and couldn’t figure out if that meant gale really did do it or not. So if you ever feel like maybe you’ve overshared about something you like and it keeps you up at night. Fear no more because my brother has for sure shared even more and has zero regrets about it.
It is hard to believe Gale is straight because he is that good of an actor and just went fully into the role and really thought deeply about who Brian is. Ugh it hurts my heart to think about just because it’s so full of appreciation for Gale and Randy.
I think you could show him any media that was released while the show was airing. But maybe avoid anything more current? Until he’s done and his heart is broken. He is going to be so upset by all the back pedaling in s5. Which is the correct reaction.
(I kinda love how as a fandom we’re like this is on the writers because Brian would never. Justin would never.)
I have a specific approach I take when I have celebrity clients and I think I could be a therapist to someone I’m a casual fan of. I could never be a therapist to someone I’m actively in a fandom for. I would have to leave the fandom, for starters.
HE TOLD PEOPLE ABOUT THE RIMMING SCENE!?! Oh my god. Anon you have to at least have him listen to Randy’s podcast episode about bottoming where he essentially said that Justin was too naive to do any prep and therefore someone experienced would have never rimmed him without making him at least shower first.
However I will feel so much better about over sharing now. Because holy shit I’ve never overshared like that.
#ask winderlylandchime#dear sweet anon#queer as folk#a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023
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Sai, suicide & the Heian period
I was suddenly reminded about a discussion I had a long ago (like… 10 years?) with someone in Hikago fandom about Sai and the idea that his suicide was somehow… unnecessary. For one thing, I’m not sure what is a necessary suicide… well, I know she meant that Sai wasn’t a samurai who’d have to commit seppuku to regain his honor or something such. But yes, overall… of course Sai didn’t have to do what he did. Of course his suicide was what suicides in general are: a heart-breaking tragedy that wouldn’t have had to take place. But it was also absolutely in character for him as a Heian age aristocrat. Back when we talked about this, I couldn’t yet properly make this argument, so I’m doing it now 10(?) years too late. ^^;;
Sai is truly an embodiment of what a Heian age man should have been. Sensitive, above anything else. Open to mono no aware, the pathos of things or however you’d like to translate that. We might think that his (unjust) punishment, being exiled from the capital, doesn’t sound that bad. But the thing is, the capital was the entire world for a Heian age aristocrat. The provinces… well, there was no worse slur than to say that someone is countrified. A good example about this is Sugawara no Michizane (who, btw, after his death became Tenjin-sama, patron deity of academics. I think it’s overall pretty funny how that happened, but it’s a different story.) He was once given the position as the governor of one of the so-called home provinces, i.e. those nearest the capital. This was a good position, an honor, really, and something like that was bound to happen sooner or later. These posts lasted only for a few years, and everyone had one every now and then. But when it was time for him to go and he had a farewell party, he was in tears. You’d imagine he’d been sent somewhere at the edge of the realm from where he would never return.
A banishment, then? It was very nearly the harshest punishment you could receive. Death penalty was quite rare, in the end. You’d be sent somewhere much farther away than the home provinces, and the likelihood that you’d ever return really was close to zero. And everything that matters – the sophistication, the culture, life, or in Sai’s case, go players – would be something you’re leaving behind for good.
There’s a part in The Tale of Genji, where prince Genji is banished because he had an affair with one of the emperor’s wives. Well, sort of banished, anyway… That story, btw, is truly the Bold and the Beautiful of its time. If I remember right, the emperor, who should have been Genji’s half-brother, was in fact his son, cause he’d also had an affair with a concubine of his father’s. Unless I got the people confused, it’s all quite a mess.
Anyway, I say sort of banished, cause he in fact left the capital voluntarily. Again, it’s been really long since I read it, but if I remember right, the emperor (who must have been quite young, as the emperors were those days – they retired quite early) knew about the affair but didn’t mind it, cause it had started before the marriage. (Affairs were a Thing back then.) Unfortunately the girl’s father and sister (who was the empress) hated Genji, and when the daddy dearest caught them in action, it became a scandal and Genji deemed it best to leave the capital for a while. This was, of course, simply so that he would have a chance for a rustic romance, finding a beautiful wildflower blooming in the faraway provinces.
And once Genji was getting tired of that romance and really beginning to miss the capital, the emperor had a dream where the ghost of his father reprimanded him for treating his brother like this. (“Brother”… I guess ghosts aren’t all-knowing either…), and so the emperor called Genji back. But this goes to show that returning from an exile wasn’t such a simple thing, even when you weren’t officially exiled in the first place. It took otherworldly intervention and the call from the emperor himself that Genji could return. So what hope was there for Sai?
Someone like him who so fully embodied the ideals of his time – beauty, refinement, sensitivity… what other ending for his story was there but a “poetic” death in a hazy river, really.
(I say ending, but luckily this is fiction, and in this case, it was the beginning.)
#this became a bit random I guess#just writing down my thoughts#hikaru no go#fujiwara no sai#hikago#heian era
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Kaeya: Frostbite
This was suppose to be an offering to Albedo but I don’t know anything about him so I ended up writing him as a more laidback Kaeya. Halfway through I realized so that’s why my tags are like that. Here’s your 2k words of cake.
I’m back :DD My first fic is on Albedo Kaeya tho haha. I don’t really want Albedo since I’m saving for Xiao (but if he wants to come I ain’t complaining, he’s vv pretty) so here is my offering birthday gift before 1.2. I saw the cold weather effect for 1.2 and my breath of the wild ptsd kicked in. Is it gay to hold hands with your significant other as an excuse to not freeze to death?
btw I have a taglist. If you want to be added see pinned post for details.
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Kaeya: Frostbite
Trying to find a way into Inazuma didn’t seem likely considering the Electro archon’s distaste to visions and causing a region-wide lockdown. So the next option was to travel through Dragonspine. There had been a few disturbances noted from the Adventurer’s guild but due to the harsh climate of the snow-touched region, not many adventurers were willing to set foot near the mountain. Albedo, the Captain of the Investigation Team and Chief Alchemist, however, knew no bounds for research and discovering the “truth” of the world. This is probably why by the time you found out that one of the Favonius Captains was in Dragonspine that could serve as an excellent travel companion/guide, he had already departed for the mountain weeks ago.
“Why don’t you ask Kaeya to take you?” Jean recommended, smiling gently at your wilting state, “Mondstadt has been quiet lately so it shouldn’t hurt to have two missing Captains for a short while.”
Kaeya? Well, it was true that he didn’t have cavalry to command considering Grand Master Varka had taken all of them for an expedition. Would it be alright to do that? Wouldn’t the Fatui try and start something with the infamous captain away?
“If you’re worried about the Fatui it’s alright. With the event in Liyue and the role of the Fatui Harbinger, they’ve been very skittish to start anything” Lisa laughed from her spot beside Jean. It always scared you how Lisa seemed to be a mind reader. Did alchemist secretly pick it up as a hobby or was Lisa just that scary? Both were equally correct possibilities.
“He’s starting to miss you because you’ve been away from Mondstadt for so long. Jean and I can take care of things should something happen. Go meet up with him before his mood sulks even further. Even I’m starting to feel bad” Lisa smiled, waving you off to go find said Calvary Captain.
---
While a pyro user would be better to travel within hindsight, Diluc was busy with the winery and Amber wasn’t used to the harsh climate of Dragonspine. That left Kaeya, who had been to Dragonspine before having met with an owl. You weren’t entirely sure what significance the owl of Dragonspine had but knowing Kaeya, it could either be a wise creature or an ordinary snow owl. He was a cyro user and while that didn’t necessarily mean he was immune to the frost, he was at least in his element. You couldn’t ask Diluc to set the ground on fire and burn to death and besides, the climate was too cold for grass to burn. Plus Jean did recommend him plus you were interested in this “sulky” version of Kaeya.
“Dragonspine? That’s quite a jump from the noisy harbour of Liyue. May I ask why the sudden change?” Kaeya smiled easily when you approached him. You were surprised he already knew what you wanted to ask but maybe Mondstadt had the same idea as Liyue, that all the walls talked.
“Ah, I heard that there have been some unknown issues there so I wanted to see if I could help. Albedo already left so Jean recommended that I travel with you to meet him since you’ve been there before” you explained trying to stifle the laugh bubbling up as he pouted a bit.
“So I’ve become Plan B then? I thought we had quite a close relationship and yet you’re asking me to accompany you to see another man”
“Kaeyaa...” you sighed at him, so this is what Lisa meant by a sulky Kaeya.
“I’m just teasing,” Kaeya ruffled your hair as he stood up from his chair, “Mondstadt’s been quite boring lately. Shall we depart?”
---
While you knew that Dragonspine wouldn’t be an easy adventure after spending so much time in the comforting warm weather of Liyue, it wasn’t an easy experience to suddenly switch temperatures so 180. The snow made it hard for your boots to trek through and while the snowflakes were pretty they made your body temperature plummet. Your hands were cold as you started to slowly lag behind Kaeya busy trying to keep your hands warm. It wouldn’t be awhile before the next torch so you just needed to toughen it out. How the hell was Kaeya fine in this kind of weather?
“What's wrong? Can't handle the cold?” Kaeya called over his shoulder before pausing in his step studying your shivering form, “Are you alright?”
“J-Just fine” you breathed out trying to warm your hands a bit more, “Really, I’m alright. Just a bit cold-
As if the cyro goddess herself was mocking you a strong gust of cold wind flew past you two, ripping the buttons off your coat and freezing yourself to your core. You squeaked as whatever warmth you had was chased out and replaced with the harsh bite of frost as it slowly crept up your sides before two fingerless gloves quickly closed your coat and embraced you to a warm chest
“Be careful, frostbite is dangerous” Kaeya teased even though his eyes shone with concern as he nudged your head under his chin, trying to block the wind with his back, his hair wiping in the wind tickling your face “It’ll damage your skin and tissue. Do you feel any pain? Numbness?”
He unwrapped his white fur cloak from his shoulder and wrapped it around your neck. You’ve never really seen Kaeya express this kind of concern before. Did his cyro vision accidentally hurt him before? You don’t recall Mondstadt ever facing harsh winters. He paused before taking one of his gloves off, breathing into his hands to warm them, despite your protest.
“Haha, sorry. My gloves aren’t the best to keep warm but hopefully, it’ll be enough,” he chuckled lightly as he slide your hands into them. His fingerless gloves might keep his palms warm but his fingers were cold as he cupped yours in his bare hands. But as a cyro user, he was probably used to it since that was how he channeled his vision. His blue-lilac eye shined in amusement as he flicked a small snowflake landing on your cheek.
“Feeling any better?” he asked as you quickly shook your head. For how lax Kaeya seemed it was always a bit of whiplash to see him so concerned. He nodded quickly as the wind began to settle down before he slowly let go to slightly peel open your coat to see the damage.
“Aren’t you cold? I swear I’m alright” you quickly assured but Kaeya ignored you as he brushed the side of your shirt up to see small snowflakes melting away.
“It’s just snow, nothing too different from what I’m used to,” he muttered to himself as he brushed away the snowflakes on your waist, before wrapping you in your coat and re-buttoning your coat, “Are you cold anywhere else?”
“N-No” you answered quickly, this was not good for your heart. Where had this version of Kaeya come from? Was he always like this? “Well, I guess my hands are a bi-”
He brought your hands up to his face as his cheeks warmed your hands as he ran his fingers over yours. Trying to transfer his heat to you as your cheeks started to flush redder and redder. He huffed amused under his breath which only served to make the red flush further down your neck.
“Sorry, not a pyro user so this is the best I can do” he laughed lightly at your embarrassed expression. You knew it, he was teasing you this entire time. In sub-zero temperature where you both could die at any time.
“I’m fine. Really” you pouted, at this point, you were sure you might be overheating. He chuckled at your flushed expression as you tried to unlatch your hands to cover your face as he leans his forehead against yours.
“If you ever need me, let me know. Let's not make this a transaction relationship” he smiled smugly as you glared at him. Not that it was intimidating at all.
“Fine, understood” you huffed as he ruffles your hair again before diving his cold fingers to the sides of your neck making your shriek as he dodged your failing arms.
“Come on, let's get moving. We're not frozen in place, after all. As much dying here with you seems romantic, dying from the cold with a cyro vision is just embarrassing” he called over his shoulder smirked as he began walking away to the next waypoint.
“Kaeya...”
“Sorry sorry”
---
You sighed in relief as you held your hands to the small torch just inside a cave. Away from the wind, away from the snow, and away from the cold. You could slowly feel the your muscles warm up and finally move without feeling that your bones would snap in half. You looked up at your surroundings, you never expected the giant mountain of Dragonspine to be so hollow with walkways and arches. It was really quite beautiful with all the blue ice hovering over you. Hopefully the wouldn’t break should you need to walk over them or worse, make you slip and fall.
“Are you feeling better?” Kaeya asked as he eyed your bundled up form. His fur cloak was still wrapped tightly around your form as you breathed into your hands. He suspects that you forgotten about the cloak but he liked seeing you wear it so he never asked for it back.
“Oh yes, so much better” you sighed out happily from your little warm bubble.
“Just let me know if you’re still cold alright?”
“Understood” you grinned, giving a small salute to the Captain. There’s a small pause as he nods again at you. You blink a couple times at him before Lisa’s words ring in your mind. You flush as you quickly wave at your cheeks trying to fan away the red. You shuffle a tiny bit on your feet before taking a quick look at Kaeya.
“Um, Kaeya.”
“Yes?”
“My hands are a bit cold. So...”
“Yes?”
You pout at him.
“Could you...”
“Could I?”
You glared at him as his chuckles slowly turned to laughter
“Alright alright, don’t need to be so mad. Come here”
You grinned as he held his hand out for you to take.
#genshin impact#genshin#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact imagines#genshin imagines#genshin fanfic#genshin impact fanfiction#genshin headcanons#genshin impact headcanons#genshin kaeya#genshin impact kaeya#kaeya#kaeya alberich#kaeya x reader#kaeya x lumine#kaeya x aether#kaeya x traveler#genshin kaeya x reader#genshin impact kaeya x reader#genshin fluff
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S15: Dean and Cas
Pardon my lateness. Life is mental at the moment! I haven’t watched 15x17 yet but hope to do so today or tomorrow. Gods preserve me, for then there will be only three more episodes left. *is this real life??*
Okay, leaving that, let’s talk about Dean and Cas, shall we? Yes, we shall!
Dean and Cas’ relationship, or rather, how they relate themselves to each other, has been in focus this season, because it’s been pivotal to both of their arcs in canonically straightforward ways. Ways so straightforward that we haven’t really seen the likes of them since S11, and with the very heavy-duty callbacks to S11 these last two episodes, it all seems quite fitting.
I mean, Jack is a bomb like Dean was a bomb and Dean got to ask Amara why she would bring Mary back, and she got to clarify she meant it as a gift, a thank you at the end of S11, because Dean didn’t blow himself to kingdom come and her along with him, because instead he realised how he could broker peace and allow for light and dark to find balance.
Which is what Dean needs to find right now.
He needs to balance out the light and dark, the masculine and the feminine, the conscious and unconscious, the ego and the shadow. He needs to balance himself out in order to let go of his fury. Why does he need that? Why would the narrative continuously hit on him needing to let go of his anger? Because that’s the reason why he was put on this journey to begin with, this slow and steady coming-of-age-coming-into-his-own progression of finding forgiveness and feeling worthy and having faith that he deserves good things.
How do we know this?
Well, arguably this season through what happens to Dean whenever he gives his fury free range, whenever he allows it to hollow out his faith, his trust, making him one-track minded, suspicious and controlling: he loses something.
He loses Cas.
This season has been all about highlighting what happens when Dean is unable to be even the slightest bit self-aware, when he veers off the path of self-acceptance. This season, Dean has had Cas disappear out of his life twice: first when Cas walked out of the bunker and second in Purgatory, when Cas went with the Leviathan. (to get them away from Dean)
The first time Dean almost lost Cas was really all about highlighting Cas’ independence (thank fuck for that), letting us see how far they’ve come in their relationship, because Dean didn’t dig himself a grave this time, perhaps having faith, in spite of it all, that Cas would come back to him, and Cas went off on his own, feeling like there was nothing left for him at the bunker when there was no forgiveness to be had from Dean.
Except, Cas thought better of it. He realised it wasn’t just on Dean to push for change—it was on him as well. And, knowing Dean, Cas had the epiphany that he would have to lead the way.
Dean, of course, not being able to forgive and forget all that easily, needed a final push, which is why the second time he almost lost Cas was all about Dean. He had to confront his anger. He had to, because naming it and admitting it as the root cause of so many of his actions (and reactions) is a cornerstone for him to begin letting that anger go.
Almost losing Cas brought him to a moment of clarity, brought him to take a knee and admit to being wrong and offering the forgiveness he’d been holding back, because being angry is easier, especially when, it could be argued, you were beginning to feel that trust in good things lasting.
Yeah, speaking of good things lasting, it brings us to this question: Why is Dean so angry?
He doesn’t know why (or so he claims) and he probably does need to have his eyes opened for him, the way Amara tried to open them, the way his conversation with her was a highlighter for the point he’s being pushed to finally reach in his progression: forgiving the past, embracing the present, trusting in the future and in the fact that he deserves to live a long and happy rest of his life.
The fact that she’s completely dressed in pink - hello positive femininity representative who kicks ass and who once almost killed God and then was balanced out so that she instead healed him with her light and they twisted into dark and light smoke and went off together - is just delicious icing on the cake.
Yeah, and that’s the issue, Dean, alright, buddy?
Dean is angry because his mother died and her death meant that he lost his father too, it meant that he didn’t get to have a childhood, it meant that he stopped believing that he could have good things that would last, because of a confused sense of identity and a crippled sense of self-worth—why did bad things happen to him if he didn’t deserve it somehow?— and pushed him to mold himself into what would make him feel strong and brave: the image that his father projected.
The soldier.
The weapon and the shield.
And now it seems Protect Sammy has morphed into Sacrifice Jack, all because Dean’s fury at Chuck’s manipulation isn’t containable, and there’s no way Dean’s going to let Chuck live. Even if it means Jack dies in the process. As Dean said to Sam in 15x16: at least it’s not them this time.
All the while we just sit here and witness Dean morphing into the revenge thirsty spitting image of his father one last time, for one final, big ole push towards the line he’ll have to cross if he’s to finally understand once and for all where it’s actually drawn.
At Cas’ feet.
Remember back in S12, before Cas died, there was that subtle (erm) motif of pointy things going through people’s hearts from behind? Yeah. It happened twice, if I remember correctly, before the pointy end of an angel blade went through Cas’ heart and he died an angel death in the season finale.
Yeah. That.
So.
So now, in S15, we have Cas caught in a motif again, only this time Dean is right there with him, because it involves both of them.
We’ve had anger and loss, and then honesty and forgiveness.
We’re back to anger, we’re back to Dean seeing red, blinded by it, and the only thing—we’ve been shown—that can unblind him is…?
That’s right: losing Cas.
So he will lose Cas again. We’ve been on the precepice of this as fact for a good long while now, haven’t we, my merry macarons? We have indeed! The question becomes how will Dean lose Cas again? Is Cas actually going to die? Again??
I still sincerely doubt it.
I think Cas will find another way, and that other way will equal a sacrifice on his part. His life? I mean, it could be, but what about the Empty? What about allowing himself to be happy? It could add up somehow, I guess I just can’t see it. So I think the sacrifice will somehow involve Heaven, because we know Michael will be back, and I hope it will involve Hell and all of the forces God has brought into being working against him—together.
S p e c.
Now, I’m a sadist. No, not like that -> I’m a sadist when it comes to characters. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a sadist. (Misha Collins is one, as we all know) (I joke!) (down Bessie!) What I’m getting at is that I want Cas having no other recourse but to do whatever it is he’ll have to do to save Jack to, quite literally, break Dean.
We know they’re all teary eyed in 15x18 (feels like it’s Billie whom Dean is glaring at) and we’ve seen Dean crying against a wall and omfg I want it to be explicit and over Cas. Yeah?
We ain’t getting them driving off in the Impala together (which is fine btw because the final episode should focus on the brothers more than anything else) (I mean, a hint that they will be driving around in that Impala post season finale while Sam goes to be with Eileen would be fab, but we can only hope and wish, yeah?) (horses held), so let’s get Dean broken over thinking he’ll never see Cas again.
Let it be done with a big fat black marker in enormous circles around his emotional state. Let him TELL Cas to stay this time, like he should’ve done when Cas walked out the door in 15x03, only for Cas to be unable to comply, because this is all to teach Dean a lesson that this is where his anger gets him, and what he needs to do to save Cas is let that anger go, stop thinking Jack is expendable, and find a better way.
I mean, this is speculation, guys. This is hoping and wishing all over this narrative. But glory effing be if it’s anywhere in the ballpark.
It would be mind-blowing if there was a God intervention of some sort, a talking down off the ledge, as it were, as per end of S11, but I’m not going to hold my breath for *rainbows*…
I’ll hold it for balance, though. :)
Cas has waited for Dean for a long time. Dean being dismissive of Cas in 15x15 can, once again— because whenever he acts like a dick it comes back to bite him on the ass (there’s a visual for you)— be looked at as part of the tapestry that makes Cas feel there’s nothing more for him but being a father to Jack.
Dean did nothing but instill this feeling in Cas after Cas came back from the black hole that is the Empty in S13, Dean being all “You were brought back because we needed you”—Dean saying zero things about how he was basically ripping apart at the seams from the grief of losing Cas just hours before Cas made that phone call.
And of course not. Why would Dean admit that? Even to himself, once Cas was back.
He wouldn’t!
Ignoring how he really feels about stuff and taking Cas for granted is kinda what he does, so back to normal it all went. So normal and so leveled out that something had to happen, right? Because, in Dean’s mind, good things don’t last.
And then Mary happened.
Oh, my heart!
And Dean went off and cried, by himself, because he still couldn’t show emotion that openly, even to the people closest to him. But he went down on his knees and he cried in Cas’ ear during that prayer, and that really was something.
That said, Mary’s death was Dean proven right once again, and this person, who is the source of faith and hope and that budding belief that maybe, this time, everything was going to actually get better and stay that way, became the target of Dean’s anger over the injustice of it all. Because Cas was the root of it. He’s always been the root of Dean’s slow-to-grow hope that could bloom into belief and trust, if he just dared let it, that he deserves to be happy.
I wrote in an ask reply that I doubt we’ll get human!Cas, but then I remembered that Cas is still status quo-ing it. It’s why he almost left the bunker without telling anyone again, that choice of skedaddling without checking in getting interrupted by Dean, and Cas being brought into a situation where he had to divulge the information, not only that he was leaving and might not make it back (Dean’s face though!), but that Jack is going through a trial that will ultimately destroy him, which was a nice shift in this dynamic of theirs.
Now, look it, the writers may end Cas’ journey on him status quo-ing it... but for the Empty.
And I would shrug at the Empty and think, well, maybe that won’t come into play... but for the fact that the deal was brought up just a few episodes back.
So. Happiness.
Somehow something will need to push Cas toward a moment of happiness. And letting himself be happy is such a climactic moment for his entire journey—and look at how it perfectly mirrors what Dean is being pushed toward—that I find it difficult to see how that moment would bring an eternity in the Empty.
But I’ve written a lot of words on why I just can’t make sense of why they would choose to kill him or have his moment of happiness be tied to a narrative punishment so I’m not getting into all that again, but because both Dean and Cas are being pushed toward happiness, I’m curious to see which route the writers have chosen to take with it.
It would be thrilling and satisfying in equal measure if we finally get Dean crying over Cas, and only Cas. No filter of Bobby or Mary to take away focus and allow for an argument that he’s not actually grieving Cas.
It would be thrilling and satisfying for it to be very baseline Just Cas. As it has been just Cas this entire season. Cas at the center of Dean’s anger. Cas at the center of Dean’s push toward healing. Cas having had enough, drawing a line—the one that is still there, at his feet—and doing what he’s always done best: calling Dean out on his bullshit behaviour. Cas making Dean put words to his anger, express forgiveness and say that he’s sorry and all within the same moment to boot.
What all this will amount to, we’ll have to wait and see.
In a few weeks. Or next week. Or maybe there will be strong indicators where the pendulum is actually swinging in 15x17!
Holy. Hell.
But I can’t see it ending somewhere tragic. If it does, it does. And it will be what it will be. And I’ll mourn a little, and accept it and move on. But I do believe it will end somewhere hopeful. Somewhere that leaves things quite tied up, but also open to interpretation, so that we can pick and choose who ends up where and how these men decide to continue on their journeys, now that this enormous leg of their progression is done, and they’ve learned to put the past to rest.
And if S11 is anything to go by, then the echoes of that ending would be a powerful way to tie everything up, as S11 was meant to be the end of the road, until Andrew Dabb picked up the reins with an idea of how to continue the show for a few more seasons. Or so I’ve heard.
11x23 also gave us the most gloriously frustrating exchange ever written for two characters in a car. Omg. Dean we-ing the absolute hell out of his speech when it was him, he was the one, the entire time Cas was possessed by Lucifer, who insisted they make sure Cas came back unscathed. “You’re the best friend we ever had” my ass, Dean!
I wanted to talk about Dean and Sam as well, but there’s too little time at the moment for me to write more. And it’s painful, but I have to concede or hit a wall and hitting walls fucken hurts.
I will mention that Sam telling Dean off at the end of 15x16 still gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.
Finally, Sam. Finally.
As ever, sprinklings of salt all over this meta and speculation, my dearlings, but omfg it’s beautiful.
Right then. I’m off to watch 15x17! Wish me luck! *gah!*
#spn 15x15#spn 15x16#there's SO MUCH to unpack darn it#destiel#deancas#dean#cas#spn meta#sam#jack#chuck#amara#a long and happy life#letting go#choosing happiness#trust#individuation#the symbolism is so damns strong with this one!!#masculine/feminine#carl jung#bring on the growth spurt#come on dean#you know you're ready for it!
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“Why are you lying to me?” / “Do you even still love me?” for Nessian please? 🙏 I love your writing and your blog btw
Thank you!! I decided to take a break from Rowaelin and write this for Nessian. A Rowaelin chapter of Covert Fuck Buddies will come out later, but for now enjoy this bitter Nessian angst. This is heavily dedicated to Mari who has been pestering me about this certain trope. I hope she suffers.
Word count: 1203
Masterlist
Love ashes
--
Nesta was so, so very tired.
Her heels were killing her feet, her shirt sticking to her back. The heat was terrible in this part of the year, and she just wanted autumn to arrive so she could wear her favorite clothes again without having the feeling of melting inside them.
She knew that once she got home, the heat would finally relent. She and Cassian kept the AC turned on during the whole summer, so arriving home should be a blessing right now.
But it wasn’t.
She didn’t want to face Cassian. Didn’t want to talk to him.
Nesta scoffed, as if they would talk. Everything they had been doing these days was either arguing or standing in silence in different parts of their house. It was really bad. Not in the way it had been when they were younger, when their fights would turn into heated nights or arguments would turn into memories that they would laugh later on. Fighting with Cassian in the past always made her burn, always made all her focus and emotions zero on him.
Now she was just tired, drained.
She remembered the summer when they met ten years ago. Both of them were only fourteen, and summer at that age didn’t mean sticky clothes and aching feet. No, it meant lake swimming and late nights trying to catch fireflies with their friends. Even at that age they would fight, but it was always something that made their relationship more interesting, more daring. More them.
But not anymore. It hadn’t been like that for a while now.
When Nesta arrived home, she took her time leaving the car and entering their house. She half prayed that Cassian wouldn’t be there, that they wouldn’t need to talk right now.
“How was your day?” His voice shattered all her prayers, sending disappointment through her veins. The first time she realized that Cassian’s voice didn’t bring her warmth anymore, only a slight pang of disappointment, her heart had cracked.
“Fine.” She said, flatly. When they first moved together, Nesta would have sat on his lap and told him about her day, about her classes and internship. Not anymore.
“Nesta.” His voice was clipped. “Do you think we should talk?”
She did, but talking would make everything more real, so she lied. “No.”
Despite how far from each other they had become, Cass still knew when she was lying or hiding something. “Why are you lying to me?”
Nesta looked him in the eyes, saw the exhaustion there. She wasn’t the only one drained.
All she wanted to do was to go to their room and lay in bed, close her eyes and remember of other summers, better summers. Wanted to close her eyes and remember when both of them burned with so much love it almost hurt.
She wanted that love back. Wanted it so, so bad. She wanted to look at him and feel her whole body relaxing, her mind becoming happier. Wanted to feel the want to touching him in public, little things such as holding hands or taking a strand of hair out of his face. She had been so closed off to the whole world and when Cassian came breaking down every barrier, she thought he was the one. That he would be the one forever.
Until he wasn’t.
“Do you love me?” She said, her voice no louder than a whisper but she knew he would hear.
“What?”
“Do you even still love me, Cass?” Her head was pounding, and suddenly she just wanted to get over with it. Say everything and move on.
“Do you?” His voice sounded broken, and in that moment Nesta had her answer.
She was certain she could hear her heart breaking. Breaking because she had loved this man and he had loved her back and it had been beautiful. They had broken each other’s barriers and stood together for ten years. Cassian knew all of her secrets and Nesta knew all of his fears. They were meant to be forever, to be able to stand against any challenge.
They just never considered that the challenge would be them falling out of love.
She tried to keep her cool mask, to bring back that indifference from when they hadn’t start dating yet, but she knew he could see right through her.
What a strange thing, to have the person that knows you the most not love you anymore.
“I’ll always have love for you, Cass.” Her voice was breaking and she hated it. Hated the pain, the vulnerability.
“But you don’t love me anymore.” It wasn’t a question, but she answered anyways.
“No. No, I don’t.” Her eyes were burning, and her throat twisted. “I wish I did.”
He nodded, staring at nothing. Both of them stayed silent for minutes, each one lost in their own minds. Their own feelings that didn’t belong to the other one anymore.
Nesta wondered when it happened. In which part of the way she had stopped loving him. She wondered if it was when she woke up in the morning and didn’t smile when she saw his face. Wondered if it was during that party when she saw a woman trying to flirt with Cass and she didn’t feel an ounce of jealousy, felt nothing at all.
Nesta wondered if it had been a slow process, or a sudden moment that she hand’t realized that the love was dead.
“I wish I did.” She repeated, and his eyes turned back to her. “I wish I still looked at you and felt as if I was burning. That I still heard the sound of your voice and all my nerves would relax. I wish that when I thought of home, you would still be the first thing that came to my mind.”
He nodded, eyes watering. “I wish that too, Ness. I wish we would still smile at each other for no reason, that we would still laugh at our inside jokes. I wish we would build a family together, and be in love forever as we thought we would.”
She didn’t realize she was crying until a single drop fell on her shirt. “It’s over, isn’t it? I thought you were the love of my life and now it’s just…” She looked around their house, the life they had started building. “Over.”
He sighed and got up, walking up to her. Wordlessly, he hugged her and she laid her face on his chest. “You were the love of my life, and I was the love of yours. But you are not going to be the only love of my life, and I won’t be the only one in yours, Nesta Archeron.”
A single sob broke out of her. “You won’t be the father of my kids, Cass, but you’re definitely going to be the story of my first love and heartbreak that I tell them.”
He kissed the top of her head and they held onto each other for a little while longer, as if they could still savor the last ashes of that burning love.
And when they felt their tears washing the ashes away, when they felt their sighs blowing those ashes away, Nesta and Cassian let go.
Tags:
@maastrash @in-love-with-caramel-macchiato @jlinez @courtofjurdan @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @ladywitchling @morganofthewildfire @queen-of-glass
#nessian#nessian oneshot#nessian fanfic#nessian fanfiction#nesta archeron#cassian#cassian x nesta#cass x nesta#acotar#acomaf#acowar#acofas#acosf#acotar fanfic#mardu writes#writing process#angst#oneshot#answered
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Meta on Sun Xiang & Qiu Fei’s Relationship
So the other day, Wack from the TKA discord mentioned in passing how Qiu Fei and Sun Xiang are like two ships passing in the night. The image stuck with me because it’s both poetic and accurate: two people occupying the same space, but heading in opposite directions, and never managing to stand on the same ground.
It’s notable that in a novel the size of TKA, the two almost never interact. In fact, there are only two examples of SX & QF speaking to each other outside of Glory in the entire novel. BB just didn’t fill in the rest, as he does, but what we have is consistent. I think it’s worth looking closely at their connection, because the novel very obviously sets these two characters up as foils of one another: Sun Xiang as the light, and Qiu Fei as his shadow. QF and SX are teammates who have several things in common (young Battlemages connected to Ye Xiu who have been trained to work together) - things that should draw the two together - but end up serving as a backdrop to the ways they are opposites.
Let’s start with QF and SX’s very first interaction on page. Context: SMC has just given EE a magnificent chewing out about how all their worrying about YX is pointless, because YX seeks nothing but victory and EE is just another opponent to him.
“Su Mucheng got up and left the conference room.
The room was completely silent. Just when everyone was wondering how long this silence would last, someone finally broke it. Someone stood up.
"I’ll be going to practice."
Qiu Fei.
This rookie had only just been promoted from the training camp this season. To think he dared to speak out against the Club’s manager. "I’ll be going to practice." By saying that, it meant he agreed with Su Mucheng.
Ignoring everyone else’s gaze towards him, Qiu Fei left the conference room. The remaining people looked at one another, occasionally sneaking a glance at Cui Li.
This time, their captain Sun Xiang spoke up: "Haha, that child. He’s really got a personality. How interesting."
F*ck! Everyone slapped their forehead. Bro, I think you’re misreading the issue here. (885)”
The dynamic established here of ‘SX misreading QF’ is consistent all the way to the end of the Challenger League. QF has just made an extremely symbolic gesture of support for SMC, YX, and YX’s ideals of pursuing victory without distraction. All of that meaning completely flies over SX’s head. His reading of the situation is pure, shallow surface meaning only. His reaction is an abrupt change of emotional tone, and helps draw a dividing line between the two characters from the very beginning. It also highlights the different maturity levels between the two characters (The very next line is the famous “It wasn’t Xiao Shiqin’s first time witnessing Sun Xiang’s stupidity,” btw XD).
Additionally, we can read the line about SX finding QF interesting as a suggestion that SX didn’t think QF was interesting before now. We don’t know when QF became his shadow, but this scene happens in December and QF has been on the team since August/September. The options I see here are either A. the two hadn’t interacted much B. They interacted but SX just didn’t know QF well.
In our next interaction, QF has just lost his match to YX in the Challenger League group round:
"You played well." Sun Xiang actually acted like a captain for once and comforted Qiu Fei, who was returning to the bench. Qiu Fei smiled, but didn't say anything before returning to his seat, but his gaze was aimed at Excellent Era's competition booth. On the field, they didn't have any way to communicate with words. Everything was based on their mechanics, attacks, defense, movement, and dodges. In this match, Qiu Fei had given it his all, but still lost. However, there would always be defeat in competition. He might've lost this time, but next time he'd win for certain, no matter who he was up against.
After giving his encouragement to one of their players, he casually glanced towards Happy and suddenly raised his voice. "It's just a shame that you left a Ye Qiu with only half his health for me. Even if I win, there will be no honor in it! (1016)”
Again, SX completely misreads the situation. QF doesn’t need to be comforted. At all. The following narration makes that clear - QF is already looking toward his next match. The mismatched emotional tone here between QF’s state and SX’s reply even makes me cringe a little bit. Like his mentor YX (who SX has just disparaged), QF is thinking about victory, but SX is thinking about honor. Their priorities are completely different - QF & SX aren’t on the same wavelength at all. Even after SX has trained together with QF as his shadow for months, he doesn’t seem to know QF’s personality. Based on this interaction, I’d find it difficult to believe the two of them are close.
Next, let’s take a look at their in-game exchanges during the Challenger League Finals and what they say about SX & QF’s partnership as light & shadow.
“It was easy to think of what Sun Xiang was feeling like after being played around like that. He had been preparing to show his superiority over Ye Xiu in this team competition. Not yelling at Qiu Fei to move to the side was already a huge improvement for him. (1039)”
I bring up this quote because it means that SX has previously yelled at QF...who’s supposed to be his shadow and whose entire job is to help him. And not doing so is a ‘huge’ improvement.
I don’t intend this as ‘SX was mean to QF.’ Pre character development SX would probably yell at any of his teammates. It’s just especially ‘ouch’ because QF’s entire job is to stick by SX’s side and coordinate with OAL.
Okay, next quote.
“In the end, Sun Xiang was forced to retreat and leapt backwards twice to just barely dodge the attack. However, Soft Mist wasn't done yet. She was just about to execute her next attack. However, Qiu Fei's Combat Style attacked from the flank, stopping Soft Mist from continuing her assault.
From an outsider's point of view, it was a very normal assistance from a teammate, but in Sun Xiang's eyes, it was disgraceful! Just Soft Mist alone had forced him to require Qiu Fei's assistance? (1040)
QF is supposed to be SX’s helper, but SX thinks being helped is disgraceful. The narrative even calls this out as unreasonable. When one half of a partnership rejects the other person’s help, that is not a strong or stable partnership.
Here’s one more:
“Sun Xiang had originally planned on continuing to attack Soft Mist, but then saw Combat Form force her back. Annoyance flickered in his heart as he had One Autumn Leaf chase after her, but after the first step, he suddenly remembered that rescuing their healer should be their priority. He immediately turned around and headed towards Woven Shadow. As for Qiu Fei's Combat Form? He just quietly followed alongside One Autumn Leaf. Only a professional's eyes would have been able to see the significance of that Rising Dragon Soars the Sky. (1041)
Once again, QF acts exactly as a shadow ought to by covering SX’s mistakes, and it just makes SX annoyed with him. I’d like to pause here to remind you that QF’s dream was always to stand beside One Autumn Leaf and seek victory side by side with YX. As OAL’s shadow, technically he’s achieved a piece of that dream. But SX’s reactions here are a rejection of QF as his shadow. SX doesn’t want a partner, SX wants individual glory.
How ironic, that QF should gain what he hoped for and be cruelly denied it at the same time.
If you’d like an extra bit of pain, I’ll remind you that QF is both perceptive and thoughtful. It isn’t unreasonable at all to believe that QF sensed SX’s attitude toward his help. :)
I’ll end with one last quote:
“Sun Xiang turned his view with this attack. What he saw caused him to charge over like he had gone crazy, trying to use his own body to block the three Anti-Tank Missiles.
But it was too late. Everything was too late. Lord Grim didn't just send out Anti-Tank Missiles. A grenade had also rolled over, across the ground.
Combat Form, Qiu Fei's Combat Form had run out of health.
The shadow that had been with him the whole way, helping him. In truth, Sun Xiang hadn't thought that he was very important, but in that moment, he truly wished to save Combat Form from death, willing, even, to use his own character, One Autumn Leaf, to shield his shadow from death.
But it was all too late. Engulfed by the light of the explosion, Combat Form could no longer escape and his health fell to zero. Combat Form, he had fallen.
AAAAAHHHHHH!
In the player booth, no one could hear how Sun Xiang had screamed. (1051)”
At the very end, SX realizes QF’s value. But it’s too late, both for the match and for his partnership with QF. SX transfers soon afterward and doesn’t get a chance to fix his mistakes.
I have to wonder - did SX’s belief that having a shadow wasn’t important transfer over into a belief that QF also wasn’t very important? Is this why SX doesn’t seem to know much about QF?
That’s the last we see of the two characters interacting, but I’ll point out that SX earns best partners with ZZK the very next season. Is that SX learning from his mistakes and throwing himself into becoming the best possible partner he could be? I’d like to think so.
How does this dynamic play out when QF returns to the Alliance with EE? SX, older and wiser and aware how badly he failed QF...come on guys where’s the fic
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Flower | 05
; Hoseok x Reader
; Genre: Fluff, light angst, mentions of smut
; Word Count: 4k
; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?
; A/N: The second half of the date! :D this is literally how I talk how in real life btw, people who know me have learnt to just put up with my random topics and I thought it would be fun to put them in too. Hoseok is a sweetheart, I love him :3 Please let me know what you think and reblog if you liked! <3
; Flower Masterpost
Hoseok had been right that this place smelled delicious and your stomach had begun rumbling even before you’d been seated. It wasn’t hugely busy, which was surprising given it was a Friday night but it meant that you’d been given a window seat, letting you look out at the other bright store fronts and the people out doing their late night shopping.
The two of you had been served quickly, the waiter taking down your order of a chicken jalfrezi with pilau rice and Hoseok’s chicken keema balti while the two of you shared a large peshwari naan. He’d ordered a beer as well while you’d settled for a Diet Coke, looking down shyly as you’d ordered it and wondering if it wasn’t sophisticated enough for a date.
But Hoseok hadn’t said anything, just given a soft smile as he’d waited until the waiter had moved on. Neither of you had really said anything of interest since entering, mainly just focusing on the menu and deciding what you wanted. Which was stupid, because you got the same thing every time and it seemed like Hoseok had a preset idea of what he wanted as well.
And now...you were both sat waiting expectantly for your food. This meant that you had finally entered the most dreaded part of the date for you. The bit where you meant to talk to him like a normal person and not someone who found the very idea of small talk daunting and overwhelming.
Which was why you were currently fidgeting with your napkin, eyes lowered down to the white fabric and fingers brushing over it before moving back. You were nervous now, any sense of camaraderie and easiness with him gone as your mind frantically worked for a topic that you could engage him with.
Metal music wasn’t an option; you didn’t listen to it and so had absolutely zero idea of what to say in regards to that. You also didn’t really understand photography, so you couldn’t really talk about that. Though, then again, it might get him to talk. It was always easier if the other person was interested as you could just rebound of them.
“You don’t have many pictures of makeup like that on your Facebook. Is that like...some hidden talent?” Hoseok asks suddenly, taking a deep drink of his beer before tilting his head to look at you expectantly. Your mind blanked for a moment, eyes wide as you blinked at him before your mouth opened.
“You’ve looked at my Facebook?” The words are stupid and you mentally cringe, wishing you could just slap yourself on the fact without looking an even bigger idiot. But Hoseok just smiles and laughs, his face once more extraordinarily beautiful and you feel a tiny kernel of resentment at the fact he can look that good without needing to spend half an hour staring into a mirror with hundreds of dollars of expensive makeup sat around him.
“Of course I have. Isn’t that like...rule number one when you friend someone on Facebook? You go through all their pictures and stuff...don’t tell you haven’t done the same to me.” He wags a finger at you then teasingly, lips turned into a pretty smile.
Which only turns into a deep and husky laugh when your eyes dart away from him in embarrassment, fully aware that you had in fact looked at all of his photos and posts. In fact, you’d probably done worse than him given that you’d drooled over him with Soyeon and Chungha.
“It’s okay. I fully admit to it so don’t get too worried or upset over it. But still...you don’t seem to wear makeup in a lot in them?” He looks quizzically at you and you wonder for a moment if he actually cares or if he’s just finding a subject to talk about.
You decide to indulge him anyway, thankful for the topic even if it’s not the most interesting thing you can think of to talk about.
“I mostly post makeup things on my Instagram. You probably noticed but...I don’t really use Facebook. Mostly to just watch videos that pop up. You know those ones where it’s like…’oh your friend liked this’ or it’s just from a random site that for some reason turns up? And then you start watching it and you start out watching a sweet story of a guy adopting a disabled cat and loving her but then half an hour later you realise you’re laid in bed watching a video of how to make a toilet seat out of coloured pencils and wonder what you’re doing with your life?”
Hoseok stares at you for a quick second and you momentarily panic, realising you’d blindly started talking about something entirely unrelated before he bursts into laughter, one hand coming up to cover his mouth as pure amusement dances in his eyes.
“Oh god, I’m so glad I’m not the only one! I ended up watching a video the other day of...oh god, what was it? They were like...making stuff for dolls? And it was very interesting to watch her make all these super tiny accessories but in the back of my mind all I could think was…’who has the time for this?!’” You can’t help but laugh at that, gesturing wildly as you nod.
“Yes! I’ve seen that one! Or those ones where they’re life hacks and I’ll be sat there like ‘this is literally the worst thing I’ve ever seen’. There was one about Christmas hacks and like...what is the point? I think one of them was like, oh make this as a gift for your friend! And it was like...they literally made a sponge into a teddy. It just looked like a sponge...as a teddy. I mean...I love my best friends but if that’s all they got me…”
“Well...it’s the thought that counts, isn't it?” Hoseok teases, white teeth biting his lower lip and avoiding his lip ring.
“Not when all they’ve got me a fucking sponge. There’s being thoughtful with your gifts and then there’s...that.”
“I’m laughing but I agree. In fact, back on the subject of makeup, there was one I saw the other day where a hack to give yourself fuller lips was apparently...to glue your upper lip to the skin above your lip? And it genuinely just looked like they’d just glued their lips.” You snort at that, fingers rubbing at your own lips as you cringe at the thought of doing that.
“Well, I definitely don’t do that. Although I did try using this lip plumping thing once because I’d seen people on YouTube use it. And like...it worked but everyone said it hurt and I just thought they were exaggerating. They weren’t, it felt like a thousand bees had kissed me with their ass stings and it wasn’t even worth the end result. Honestly.” Hoseok looks like he’s trying desperately not to laugh and you eyeball him warily.
He doesn’t say anything for a moment and you watch closely as his lips pursed, evidently trying to control his reaction as best he can before he finally speaks, fingers tracing his cutlery as he looks down with a smirk.
“Got any...uh...got any pictures of that? Bet it’s interesting.” You throw your napkin at him at him, causing him to laugh even harder as his hands come up to protect his face. He takes the now open napkin and carefully folds it before handing it back to you carefully.
You’re both interrupted from any further conversation by the arrival of your food and your mouth waters as the small metal bowl of chicken jalfrezi is served to you on top of a plate while a second bowl of rice is placed down. The giant naan is placed between you both and you hum in delight, hands clapping together excitedly as you wriggle in your chair, completely oblivious to the amused face Hoseok wears.
“Mmmm! I love jalfrezi.” Reaching out, you begin to sort out your plate before reaching out and grabbing a piece of naan, tearing it off and popping it into your mouth with a long and low hum of satisfaction. Hoseok eyes you for a moment before taking a bite, nodding in his own satisfaction.
Neither of you speak for a few moments more as you both focus on eating, perfectly content with stuffing your mouth full of wonderfully spiced foods before adding the soothing naan to calm your mouth. Looking up at Hoseok finally, you note the way he’s eyes are focused down as he uses some of the naan to wipe at some sauce on the edge of his plate, chewing on it happily.
From this angle, you can see down the slope of the elegant nose while his dark hair falls forward into his eyes. He’s honestly beautiful and the nerves that had slipped away at your easy conversation come back.
But if there’s one thing about you, it’s that you’re brutally honest and your mouth begins working before you even mean for it to. And what you say would have Soyeon and Chungha cursing to the heavens, you just know it.
“I’m sorry if I’m a little awkward to talk to. I don’t really know how to talk to people. I should probably stop talking now. This isn’t how a date is meant to go,” You cringe, body going warm as Hoseok slows his eating down before shaking his head.
“Well...it was going good until that,” He’s smiling as he says it though, blunting what could have been a harsh and direct comment. “It’s okay. Like I said at the start of it all, I’ve kinda guessed that about you. And there’s no one way for a date to go. I once had a date where a girl literally threw up on me. I still went on a second date with her, so you’re doing great.”
Your eyes widen while your face cringes slightly, sympathy for him rushing through you. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. That would be the worst for me. I have sympathy sickness thing so I’d have thrown up on her. What did you do that made her throw up?”
He huffs out a laugh, shaking his head and running his hand through his hair as he looks out the window, obviously recollecting.
“Why do you assume I did something? I did nothing. We went out to a bar, we got a lil’ drunk. Let’s just say...her gag reflex seemed to have been shortened by alcohol. And that’s all I’m saying on that.” His cheeks are a soft pink in the lighting of the restaurant and you frown, brows coming together as you try to work out what he’s saying.
And then it clicks and you gasp, eyes going wide.
“Holy fuck. She threw up on your dick?” You whisper harshly and Hoseok immediately makes a shushing motion, his cheeks no longer a rose gold but instead a fire engine red that is at complete odds with his badass look. He does not look like the kind of man to be embarrassed about having that story told and yet here he is, almost writhing in shame.
“Shh, please. God. It wasn’t her fault. I mean...well it doesn’t matter. Either way, I still took her out for a second date. So you are doing absolutely amazing, I swear.” His hands are held up in appeasement now and a small part of you takes in how pretty his hands are, the fingers long and elegant while a few silver rings wrap themselves around some of the digits.
Which provides a very strange state of being given you’ve just imagined his dick covered in vomit and now you’re imagining those fingers between your legs. Sexual attraction is a strange beast indeed.
“Well...I’m not gonna suck your dick tonight so you don’t have to worry about vomiting.” The words come out blunt and Hoseok’s eyes widen almost comically, his jaw dropping while his brows lift. And your hand slaps onto your mouth as you realise what you’d just said out loud, quickly looking around and slumping in relief when you realise that there’s no one really within earshot of you.
“...good to know. I er...wasn’t expecting it, just so you know. A blowjob...not the throwing up part. Actually I wasn’t expecting either of them. Though I don’t know why I would - you know what? I’m just gonna shut up and eat.” And with that, he stuffs his mouth full of chicken as he stares firmly at the table.
You can’t help the small laugh of amusement that leaves you, your fork moving around some of your rice slowly as you recognise the sense of awkwardness that lays itself heavily on the tablet. It’s something that you’re often familiar with, even if you hate it, but you get the sense that it’s not something Mr Friendly over there is used to.
So you do what you always do when you’re feeling uncomfortable or awkward. Which is to just blurt out the first fact that comes to mind.
“Did you know blowing up the moon is a really bad idea?”
The silence now is no longer awkward, which you feel proud over, but that doesn’t stop the look of pure confusion from Hoseok as he looks back up at you. A spoonful of curry and rice is halfway to his mouth and you can see the inner fight inside before he shrugs.
“Well...yeah. I mean...it’d fuck the tides up.” Immediately you’re shaking your head and you soon launch into an in depth discussion about why destroying the moon is a bad idea. And even though it’s probably the most random topic Hoseok has probably discussed all day...he goes along with it and finds himself laughing once more. Even arguing with you a little on certain facts before giving in and bowing to your evidently better knowledge on the subject.
But the weirdness thankfully disappears quickly as the topics soon blend into one another. And thankfully, you both managed to get in some personal discussions about yourselves. You’d told him about how you’d actually always wanted to work with horses but that your family didn’t make enough money to get you to a stables or anything when you were younger.
Which meant that you’d eventually just done a degree in English literature, embracing your passion and love for reading books if you couldn't do anything with horses. Plus, you weren’t smart enough to do anything like equine sciences and you were too soft to be a veterinarian. You couldn’t handle having to put animals down.
And the reward for your four years of hard work and passion? A job as an administration assistant at an electrical company. Obviously a hugely glamorous job that you had evidently been aspiring to when you were a child.
Not that you had anything against people who also did this job, but it wasn’t particularly interesting and you didn’t really see a future career for yourself. Was this how everyone your age felt or something? You didn’t really have any hugely transferable skills and so had been stuck at this level for a while.
Hoseok on the other hand, had apparently gone to college without the intention of actually really doing anything. In fact, he’d happened to just enroll in a computer science class just because he thought he’d be able to play games throughout the whole class without complaining too much. And then he’d discovered that he actually really enjoyed it and was good at it.
Which had led him to his job, which equally didn’t sound hugely interesting but was apparently much better paid than yours. You’d pouted at that for a few minutes, wondering if it was possible to go back in time and tell yourself to do something better with your life.
But still, the conversation had finally begun to gain some semblance of a flow and you found yourself enjoying your time with him. He made you laugh and made you feel comfortable, went along with your random moments of weirdness - such as the tangent about how on earth do you milk an almond when you told him that you preferred to drink almond milk to normal - and seemed to be enjoying himself.
Or at least...you’d hoped he had.
He’d been polite with the bill as well, not immediately assuming that you’d be okay with him paying and instead asking if you’d be okay with that or if you wanted to pay half. You’d shyly let him, not telling him that no one had ever paid for your date before and you hadn’t really known what to do with yourself after that.
And now you were walking outside, slowly heading to where you parked your car because he’d insisted that he wasn’t going to let you walk alone. Part of you wanted to rebel against that, be all ‘down with the patriarchy’ and shit but then you’d looked at the dark street and simply agreed. Because you hated walking on your own in the dark.
Someone who was as nervous and anxious as you didn’t particularly do well with that, and quite often your imagination would run wild if someone was walking behind you.
So despite the fact that the conversation had petered out once more, you felt oddly comfortable around him. In that way that you rarely felt with most people. Normally, you felt an incessant need to fill the dead air if you were with someone with an irrational fear that if they weren’t talking then it meant that they didn’t like you.
It was stupid obviously, but that was because it was an irrational fear. It wasn’t meant to make sense!
But with Hoseok, despite how overwhelmingly intimidating you found him in terms of his looks, had an incredibly friendly personality that seemed to encourage you to be more open and comfortable with him. He laughed with you, not at you. Not unless you were specifically inviting him to that is.
He had carefully planned out your first date to make sure that it would accommodate your evident shyness, finding a way to encourage you to talk to him without having to scramble for conversation. And he’d certainly rolled with the punches when you’d pulled out your strange facts.
You almost got the sense that he enjoyed them, stretching his brain in bizarre ways as he tried to keep up with how your mind seemed to move a hundred miles a minute. It was something you appreciated; how hard he’d tried to keep the conversation light and easy without leaving too much on you to try and fumble your way through it.
Looking up at him, you take in the sight of his astoundingly beautiful side profile in the passing street lights and bite your lip in silent awe. As if this man, this prime example of nature coming together in the most beautiful way possible, had found you interesting enough to not only take you on a date...but stay with you the whole night.
And even walk you to your car! He wasn’t desperately ready to be rid of you, but was actively spending more time with you.
You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn’t even realise when you’d arrived the place you’d parked your car, Hoseok pausing and looking at you with expectant brows. For a second you simply stared back blankly, wondering what he’s doing before you realise and make an ‘oh’ expression.
“Oh, sorry. Miles away. Erm...thank you. For walking me. And err...everything tonight. It was...nice.” Oh yeah, definitely pulling him in with that one.
But he just smiles. “Just nice? It was my talk of dick vomit that dropped it down a notch, wasn't it? 10/10 conversation topic there Hoseok.”
And that’s why you like him even more, not just because he’s handsome but also because he has a personality that appeals to you. Not too afraid to be self-deprecating while also saving you from any awkwardness. Like he almost knew you wouldn’t be too comfortable with this and was finding a way to make things easier on you.
It made you feel a bit guilty that he was having to do that, but you simply let out a quiet sigh and straightened your shoulders.
“Hey...that might be one of my kinks,” You tease, watching as his faces falls into what can only be politely called a grimace and you giggle. “I’m kidding. But still...thank you. For not...just ghosting or standing me up. Or leaving halfway through. Had that happen once. Mortifying but I got a free meal ‘cos the waiter felt sorry for me.”
And now he looks horrified.
“Wow, that’s an ass move. My mom would be beat my ass raw if I ever thought of even doing that. Well...the good news is that at no point tonight did I want to leave. I very much enjoyed tonight. And you. And...I kinda hope you’ll want to do it again...if you want to.” Your body does something very strange at that; your stomach tightens and flips while nervous excitement streaks through you, happiness and a need to be sick fighting together.
“Oh god, I’m trying really hard to not be the second girl to vomit on you right now. I’m sorry.” You may not physically vomit but you certainly word vomit, cringing while he lets out a soft laugh. And then his hands are gently tilting your chin up, letting you lock with him before he gives you a brilliant and bright smile.
“Please don’t. A man only needs one ‘girl vomiting on him’ story in his life. I’m going to let you get in your car now before you have a heart attack or something, because you look like you are and I am most definitely not a doctor. And my track record of first dates will evidently look even better if you end up in hospital. So...I will text. Not call, because I don’t think you’ll like that. Is that okay?”
He’s looking at you so sincerely, his fingers so warm and soft on your skin and you forget to even breath for a moment as you look up at him through wide eyes. He looks so pretty in the crappy lighting surrounding you, and yet this is probably better than any fantasy you could’ve imagined. But you can’t find the words to respond to him, stunned into silence by his physical touch and so you simply nod.
“Great. Drive carefully. Let me know that you got home safe, okay?” Hoseok gives you a gentle smile before leaning forward.
And then he’s pressing the tiniest, butterfly touch soft kiss to your cheek. The cold of his lip ring startles you out of your reverie, causing you to jolt ever so slightly and the movement causes you to pull away from his lips. But you don’t say anything, physically incapable as your eyes are as wide as dinner plates and you get the sense that Hoseok is seriously trying not to laugh so as not to embarass you.
You don’t even realise you’ve gotten into your car, buckle your seat belt and set off until you suddenly realise that you’re sat at a red light five minutes. The ghost of his kiss on your cheek is still there, throbbing gently and you touch your cheek in awe.
And then you squeal loudly like a little girl, fists clenching as you wriggle your body in sheer, unadulterated joy and excitement.
#armiesnet#networkbangtan#btssunshineclub#hoseok fluff#hoseok angst#j hope fluff#j hope angst#hobi fluff#hobi angst#bts fluff#bts angst#hoseok fic#hoseok fanfic#j hope fic#j hope fanfic#hobi fic#hobi fanfic#bts fic#bts fanfic#flower!hoseok#hoseok x you#hoseok x reader
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good enough ~ machine gun kelly
word count: 1160
request?: yes!
@hannalikesdestielx “Could you do an imagine for mgk with the song "at my best ~ mgk". I would love it of you could use my name instead of just "reader" (my Name is Hanna btw). I don't really have an idea to be honest i loved the things i read from you so i'm sure you can do something amazing💜 The only thing i would like to happen is that at the beginning it should be angsty (I love angst😅) but the ending should definitly be happy and perhaps fluffy. I hope you understand i wrote, and I'm thankfull to you that you write these imagines”
description: you and colson have a flirty friendship, but you refuse to take it any further cause you don’t think you’re good enough to be with him
pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader
warnings: swearing
based on this song
masterlist
“If you two get any closer you’ll be on each other’s laps,” Baze teased, looking at Hanna and Colson. The two were sat close together, their heads ducked close together as well as Colson showed her something on his phone.
Hanna rolled her eyes at Baze. “Colson wishes I’d sit on his lap.”
“Not as bad as how much Hanna could sit on my lap,” Colson retorted. Hanna stuck her tongue out at him.
This was the usual banter between the two. They were so flirty, anyone who didn’t know them would think they were dating, but their friends knew different. Colson and Hanna were best friends, had been since long before Colson became famous and, surprisingly, had never once actually hooked up, or even really considered it.
Well, actually, Hanna had considered it on multiple occasions. There was no denying Colson’s attractiveness, and when you’re flirting with someone that attractive for so long, you gain feelings. But Hanna would never admit that to anyone. Not like admitting her feelings would do anything. There was no way Colson would date someone like her.
Hanna wasn’t a model. She wasn't a singer or an actress. she wasn’t even a pretty groupie like the ones who were always trying to hook up with Colson. She was just a normal person. A plain Jane. She wasn’t special, so why would Colson want to be with someone like her?
“I swear,” Slim said, “one of these days we’re gonna walk in on you guys fucking.”
“Why would you want to do that?” Hanna asked. “You fucking perv.”
“Hanna’s standards would have to be astronomically low,” Colson added, “to sleep with a bum like me.”
She wanted to tell him that he was wrong. That, if anything, his standards would have to be low to even consider sleeping with her. Instead, she faked a laugh and said, “Yeah, they’re not that low yet.”
After a few hours of drinking, the boys managed to tire themselves out enough to go to bed, leaving Hanna alone on the couch of the tour bus. She felt tired too, but at the same time she felt wide awake. She knew she had to go to sleep, they had to be up in a few hours, but she just couldn’t get her body to sleep.
She pulled herself off the couch and started to make way to her bunk. She paused upon seeing that the back lounge door was open and someone was laying on the couch. She walked back to find Colson, staring at the ceiling. His head turned lazily to look at her.
“Why are you back here?” Hanna asked.
“I prefer to sleep in the lounge sometimes, less claustrophobic,” he responded. He extended his arms to her. Hanna raised an eyebrow, confused. “Come cuddle with me.”
It was a new request within their flirt friendship. Sure, they usually sat close together and Colson would put an arm around her, but to actually lie together and to cuddle was foreign territory.
Hanna’s legs moved before her mind could catch up to them. She laid in Colson’s arms and he pulled her to him. Though tentative at first, she rested her head on his chest and allowed herself to relax against him.
“Having trouble sleeping again?” she asked him.
“A little, but I think it’s cause I’m drunk, but usually I sleep better when I’m drunk or high cause I’m not usually thinking too much when I am.”
“Do you have something on your mind that’s so powerful you can’t even keep it from your mind while drunk?”
“Yeah. You.”
Hanna quickly sat up, causing Colson to look at her confused. She wasn’t sure what that meant, but she tried to awkwardly laugh the comment off. “Yeah, funny Colson.”
“I mean it,” he responded, propping himself up on his elbows. “I’ve been thinking about us a lot lately, Hanna. About our friendship and it maybe becoming more.”
She started to stand, but Colson held on to her, pulling her back down onto the couch.
“This isn’t funny,” she told him. “You’re just drunk, you won’t feel the same way when you’ve sobered up.”
“I feel this way when I’m sober,” he insisted. “That’s why I’m so openly flirty, why I’ve always been flirty. I’ve had a thing for you ever since we first met, but I was always afraid to tell you because I was afraid of fucking up our friendship.”
Hanna shook her head, looking away from Colson. “You don’t mean that.”
“Why do you keep saying that?”
“Because why would you want to be with someone like me?”
The words hung in the air for some time. Hanna accidentally said them louder than she meant to, and was waiting for one of the guys to wake up to see what the commotion was about. When none of them did, she gladly closed the lounge door so none of them would see what was happening.
“Why wouldn’t I want to be with you?” Colson asked. “You’re the most amazing girl I’ve ever met.”
“I’m so plain,” Hanna told him. “I don’t have the most beautiful face, or huge tits and ass, or a size zero waist. I don’t look like the groupies you usually hook up with, or the models and musicians that seem to throw themselves at you. I just look so...so...”
Colson sat up then, taking her face in his hands and making her look at him. “You look beautiful.”
Before she could protest further, Colson pressed his lips to Hanna’s. Even while kissing, Hanna was sure this was just the alcohol talking. But then she felt it, the spark. One that Colson definitely felt as well, as he was starting to deepen the kiss. Hanna allowed herself to relax into him, her hands fisting Colson’s shirt in an effort to keep him close to her.
She nearly whimpered when he pulled away, longing to feel him kissing her again.
“I mean it,” he told her. “I’m serious about wanting to be with you. This isn’t the alcohol making this decision for me, if anything it’s the alcohol giving me the courage to kiss you like this. When we stop next I want to take you on a date, I don’t care where, wherever you want to go. Just let me try, and if things don’t work out we’ll go back to just being friends. What do you say, Hanna?”
Hanna smiled and pressed another kiss to his lips, taking Colson by surprise and knocking him back onto the couch. The two of them laughed together as Colson’s arms wrapped around her again.
“That’s a yes, by the way,” she informed him.
Colson smiled and couldn’t stop himself from kissing her one more time before the two of them finally relaxed onto the couch. Within moments, Colson’s breathing became heavy and Hanna knew he was asleep. She smiled to herself before drifting off shortly after.
#machine gun kelly#machine gun kelly imagine#machine gun kelly x reader#colson baker#colson baker imagine#colson baker x reader#mgk#estxx#imagine#one shot#request
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#42 for the shinran kissing prompts maybe? (thank you for the nice tags on my art btw 😉💜)
Thanks for this request! 💞 Ahh, what can I say, your doodles are so funny and so lovely to look at!! I’ve never had the proper chance to thank you for your tags on my posts too so I’ll take this opportunity. It makes me really happy that you like what I write ;;_;; So I remembered reading one of your tags saying that you like Domestic!ShinRan so I’mma give that to you rn. I really hope you like this! 🤗
42. Distracting kisses from someone that are meant to stop the other person from finishing their work, and give them kisses instead. (1,551 words)
.
.
.
9:00 PM.
It’s automatic, whenever the grandfather clock strikes 9:00 PM. Seconds after the last chime of the bell, he’ll hear the library door open, footsteps lightly approach him, then hundreds of pecks will wordlessly land on his cheek in the midst of his paperwork, disrupting the mind palace he’s put up for hours.
It did surprise him the first time, giving his wife a weirded out ‘What’s with you?’ look, but it doesn’t take a while for Pavlov to prove his theory to him when for the next four or five times, he begins to grow accustomed to this flow of events. He doesn’t even have to look at the clock; he just knows that once the library door clicks, it’s 9 o’clock, and he’s bound to ready his cheeks for the array of kisses that’ll shortly follow.
Though his mind has already been conditioned to this, Shinichi’s yet to admit that that is the most favorite thing he wants from his wife to do. After all, anyone who knows him knows that he must not be disturbed in the middle of his deductions. Well, they can, but at the expense of being ignored, or avoided, or humiliated for feeling like they’re talking to a brick wall.
Thus it has been a universal rule that a working Shinichi is an absolutely-cannot-be-disturbed Shinichi. And his wife knows this for sure.
Yet why? For what purpose is she doing this, persistently giving him something he never asked for? Something she isn’t even sure he wants, or needs?
Tonight is rather a busy night for him. He doesn’t usually bring home extra paperwork from the Department, but this present case - a child kidnapping case - calls for urgency. Since 5 PM, he hasn’t left the Kudo library and has even missed dinner. But hunger is nothing compared to the need for the case to be resolved as soon as possible. Time is the enemy. So for almost three hours, he reads, he closes his eyes, he writes, he thinks. On repeat.
“Yes, Megure-keibu. Yes. Among the suspects only the child’s aunt living in Minato ward can possibly do this. Said she’s never been in touch with the kid for years and- Yes. And yet she knows her routine after school. She’s been spying on her. Right. Please send the Team right away to her house. Be on guard. It’s possible there’s someone with her with a weapon. Mm. Let me know once the suspect is restrained.”
He paces back and forth the library, grave and relentless worry evident in his face. He waits, and waits, and waits. Forty minutes of frantic silence and tension, hunger and thirst unnoticed. For forty minutes his world zeroes in on just him and this case, not in the least mindful of his environment, of any sound other than his nervous heart and seeing nothing other than the flash of memories from back when he - and she - was young.
Finally, the awaited call arrives.
“Shinichi-kun, the culprit has been apprehended. Good job. We’ll hear more details on this tomorrow. You may now retire for the night.”
Thank goodness.
Slumping into his chair, he heaves a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Megure-keibu.”
He checks his phone clock. 8:58 PM. Wow, it took almost four hours. He doesn’t even realize. Oh, the effect of child kidnapping cases on him.
He stays in his chair, unmoving. That’s when it hits. The fatigue. The hunger. Minor unfinished paperwork still lays on his desk but he figures he needs a little breather.
For once he actually seeks for rest.
Ran.
8:59 PM.
How convenient. Now he just has to wait for one more minute. Then the grandfather clock will chime and the door will click and this time, he’s ready to welcome whatever intrusion there’ll be, as long as it’s from her.
Ran.
He closes his eyes, chuckles breathily. Hah.
For the first time, is he really actively waiting for her to come?
He waits, and waits, and waits.
Any time now.
Aaaany time.
9:01 PM.
9:10 PM. 9:15 PM.
9:20 PM.
Maybe it’s the tiredness acting up, and he’s not supposed to be cranky because he has just solved a kidnapping case, but right now, he cannot stop his brows from furrowing and his lips from curving upside down.
Where the hell is she?
Releasing an impatient groan, he decides to just continue with the minor paperwork. Maybe she’s already asleep; doesn’t wait for him anymore since he sure is taking his time with this. He mechanically grabs his pen, flips some pages over, and stares blankly at words.
Man... he’s pretty bummed.
“Done with the case?”
He jerks from his seat, heart leaping a little. Trying to keep a straight expression, he slowly turns to the door, and there she is. The woman he’s secretly waiting for.
Ran.
Shinichi watches her walk his direction before finally realizing how much he’s been staring, and then returns his attention to his paperwork.
“...Late.” He mumbles, so low she barely hears it.
She stops, quirks an eyebrow. “Oh. Were you waiting for me?”
“Wh— N-no. Not at all.”
How childish he might’ve sounded just now.
Trying to push past her teasing stare, he pretends to go over the piles of paper in front of him one by one.
But Ran knows her husband too well. She approaches his desk, and, after a faint giggle, gives a light peck on his visibly flustered cheeks.
“I tucked Sakura and Shinji to bed,” she says, giving an answer to his unspoken question. “Took me quite a while this time.”
He tilts his head, half-facing her. “And? Are they asleep now?”
“Yes.”
“Mm.”
She leans in for another peck and Shinichi instinctively offers his cheek, closing his eyes. Feeling her subtle smile against his skin, he cannot help but smile, too, as she gives him three more. Ran stands straight and sighs.
“You skipped dinner, Shinichi. I’ll heat up your food, okay?” She steps away, only to be abruptly stopped by a stubborn tug of his hand on her wrist.
“Ran, that’s...not enough.”
Swiveling his chair to face her, he opens his arms, catching Ran dumbfounded from where she stands. Then, without any word, she retraces her steps, slowly, until she’s standing between his legs, and his arms wrap around her waist.
“I was.”
“Was what?”
“Waiting.”
Cheeks dusting with red, Shinichi holds her gaze as she stares him down his seat; her eyes wide at the unexpected declaration before narrowing into slits.
“Mmm, really? M’not bothering you with your work?” She nudges her head to his desk.
“Nope.”
“But that’s not what I was getting before.”
“Hmm?”
“You've never reciprocated my kisses then,” she puffs her cheeks.
“Well…”
"You didn’t even notice I checked up on you before 9 o’clock. You were too engrossed with the case, spanning the room back and forth like a madman.”
“You did?”
“Yeah, so I figured it’s probably better not to disturb you until you’re done with it...don’t wanna risk being yelled at.”
“I’m not-“
“Oh, Shinichi. I understand, you don’t want any disturbance when solving cases, not even from your wife—“
He cuts her off with a kiss on the lips, dissolving Ran’s further complaints in his mouth.
“That’s not true,” he declares, then kisses her again, chastely. “Keep on doing that, okay? ‘Disturbing’ me or whatever...Even if I look serious,” another kiss. “Or annoyed.” Kiss. “Or cannot be bothered.” Long kiss. “Just...don’t stop doing that.”
He pauses for a good minute, admiring how she looks with her brows still wrinkled but face and ears now more crimson than his.
Ah. Yes— Now it’s clear.
What a shame for not having realized this sooner.
Breaking off his loving gaze, Ran pinches his cheeks, pulling them like dough. “Who says anything about stopping? Who’s gonna tuck you to bed when that happens?”
“Oh okay,” he chuckles, “so you’re really doing this whole thing to annoy me, huh?”
“Of course. Is there any other reason?”
He kisses her again, smiles fondly against her lips. “Because you love me?”
She returns the kiss, reciprocates the smile he doesn’t even bother hiding. “Now you’re being cocky.”
Hands intertwined, foreheads together, eyes closed, soft giggles lingering, husband and wife drown in each other’s comfort, forgetting about the time and hunger and everything else, his long day ending with her, at last. No one can take away this moment from them this time. Not even the minor unfinished paperwork.
Yes. This woman. His wife. Ran.
The only distraction he’ll ever want, and ever need.
“Aren’t you going to ask me what the case was all about?” He speaks softly, a little above a whisper.
“What is it?”
“Child kidnapping case.”
“Oh no,” Ran separates from him, expression visibly concerned, “and you’ve solved it?”
“Yes. The TMPD already apprehended the culprit.”
“That’s a relief,” she returns her forehead to his. “Though Shinichi, honestly I’ve never seen you so invested in a case before.”
“Yeah. It hits close to home.”
“What do you mean?”
Silence, then he takes a deep breath.
“Did you know that you were almost kidnapped when we were in Kindergarten?”
“I was almost...what?!”
“Let’s save that bedtime story for later. Dinner first?”
.
.
.
#shinran#fanfic#OMG I saw your recent doodle and the second one looks almost like the kiss position in this prompt!! AHAHAHAhahskdhs#bless#hope this is ok!!#before i started writing this i read a very angsty Shinran fic#so after that i was like WELP need to feed my heart with ShinRan fluff!!!#and now i have this#been revising this for hours so imma publish now so theres no more backing down lmao#kiss prompts
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what do u think of ftm Butters :o) ?? lov ur art btw !!
love!! posted smth a while back about butters & kenny being trans in opposite directions on my sideblog. (also thank you for complimenting my art btw!!! so sweet!)
I think butters probably wouldn't have gotten on puberty blockers, he probably didn't come out until a lot later, like around 16. He felt all of these things and had some simple understanding of what it meant but just couldn't get the courage to say anything about it to his parents. When he finally did, he received little support because his parent suck :/. He likely went on to start T around age 20, after staring his first job (late bloomer because his parents have taught him zero life skills).
I don't think he's as solidified in being a binary male as I HC Clyde to be, maybe somewhere between A Guy and Nothing At All if you get what I mean? Anyways, I love him! I love trans HC for these guys :]!!
#silly words#thank u for asking me about these characters i love thinking and talking about them <3#sp butters#sp headcanons
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Folklore has me thinking about literati and I just keep thinking how Rory and Jess were the intended endgame but Bc of milo’s schedule we didn’t that actual story. Am I crazy for still thinking this? I’ve seen r/ogan shippers argue that Rory doesn’t care about Jess anymore but I also don’t think she really wants to be with logan she obviously isn’t happy with the affair but she also doesn’t seem to want a real relationship with him either nor do I think the baby would change that!
I don't know when you sent this so I'm sorry if this is a late reply, but I kind of agree. I actually am not sure if Milo's schedule had anything to do with him getting so little scenes in the revival, frankly because the revival is a disorganized mess and I truly don't believe that Amy Sherman-Palladino put any real thought into how the story would come off or the characters. However I do believe the rumors surrounding her season 7 and how she apparently wanted Milo to return to it, as well as the fact that like we saw in the revival, Logan clearly isn't going to be the guy for Rory.
I don't take any r*gan shippers seriously whenever they say that Rory doesn't care for Jess anymore because we also saw her only use Logan as an escape? The affair was bad but it was also said by Alexis herself that Rory's heart just wasn't in it, and every time Rory wanted to escape her less-than-ideal life, or had to stay in London for her first job, she went to Logan. I think the affair was less about Rory and Logan and more about Rory getting knocked up in order for her life to somehow imitate her mother's. To me the affair had no substantial weight, then again, almost everything except Rory's book and Emily and Lorelai's storylines had no substantial weight in them. It just exists for the sole purpose of making the plot go where it has to for Rory, without even trying to be rationalized in any way. I mean, we don't even know how the affair started or why it did, and we can only assess that Rory doesn't consider it a good thing either, but keeps going back to it when her life gets hard, which is a pretty good parallel to how her relationship with Logan was at the start of season 6, imo.
And yeah, it's why I also roll my eyes whenever any r*gan shipper is all "She's pregnant so surely Logan will drop everything to be with her!". First of all, why the fuck didn't he drop everything before all of this? R*gan shippers love somehow blaming Rory for the entire affair as if it doesn't also suit Logan who seems pretty adamant in sticking through with his engagement and marriage. I mean, he had zero issue requesting Rory to continue using one of his houses in order to continue the affair possibly even after he was married. To me that paints him in an incredibly negative light as a character, especially as someone who's willing to continue dragging Rory into something that she didn't want to be in anymore. So considering where he's left off, I definitely think that Rory will continue raising the baby if she has it by herself, given the scenes with her father too.
Regarding Jess, I think that the (very controversial) look he gives her in his last scene was meant to show that their potential romance isn't exactly out of the cards, the same way Dean and Logan are. I mean, Rory never has a scene where she says goodbye to him or simply meets him for the sake of putting a finishing touch to their story, the way she did with Dean. I don't believe that Jess has somehow been pining for her for a whole decade, nor do I think that Rory would completely negate any possible chance of being with him if/when she's given one. I think that their "first meeting since 4 years" moment was meant as more of an obvious signal that this is a start of their new chapter in their story, because they obviously have met more than once now and will likely meet with each other again since he's going to help her out with her book. And frankly, I don't believe that Jess would have any problem with being with a single mom if Rory becomes one, despite the insistence of a lot of people who don't want that for various reasons. I mean, I can't see Jess ever being negative about it? Why on earth would he? It's not his body of his personal concern to whom the kid is, and frankly I find it more than a little insulting to the character whenever people think that Jess would consider himself "too good" for Rory now, especially when he knows her own history of kissing him while being in relationships with other men, and has continued having feelings for her in spite of that.
So yeah, I do think that Rory and Jess are supposed to be endgame, although I think them just getting less screentime in the revival is a result of Amy's incompetence (or maybe just disinterest in properly mapping out and writing the story) than it is because of Milo's availability. The only thing that is Milo's "fault" I guess is him not signing on for a 6 year contract after season 3, but he made his reasons clear that he simply wanted to pursue other projects, which I honestly accept and understand.
Btw, while you brought up folklore, I just watched a great fanvideo for them that has one of the songs:
youtube
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Addressing some negative comments I received on Wanderlust
So, the overall comments I have received on Wanderlust have been positive and amazing. The support this story has gotten is overwhelming and has taken me by surprise. I want to thank everyone who has stuck by me, read my story and loved it as much as I have.
With that being said, obviously the story is not going to be for everyone; and that’s okay. Not everyone is going to want to read a murder mystery about a serial killer and the romance that blossoms between a federal agent and a witness.
That’s not everyone’s cut of tea and that’s okay.
I’m saying this because I got two comments on the story today that are kind of negative. While I’m not expecting everyone to love and rave about my story, I want to address those two comments. The first one I can kind of see where you’re coming from while the second I 100% disagree with. (I’ll leave the comments up on A03-chapter nine). While they are not the first negative comments I’ve gotten, they are two that are kind of bothersom.
The first one starts by quoting a paragraph that in chapter ten about Marcel and Rebekah’s relationship- more so their breakup. The rest of the comment goes as followed.
When Marcel asks Rebekah to move, it makes sense. When Rebekah asks Marcel to move she is expecting everyone to drop everything for her. When Marcel refuses to move, he is just being a devoted agent. When Rebekah refuses to move, she probably doesn't have any reason, she is just being difficult. Really, Klaus? Her reasons are not serious and valid, you will just assume they must be irrelevant? While Marcel's choices are just and reasonable? Wow.
Btw, Klaus himself says Rebekah was refused, so she seemingly asked about possibly getting a job in D.C.
Klaus really needs to stop being so dismissive and glaringly patronizing towards his sister. It's pretty obvious and disgusting of him.
Like I said, I can see where you’re coming from. Yes, Klaus kind of is rude to his sister in regard to his breakup with Marcel. The whole argument that Klaus is patronizing to his sister….well, yeah. He is. It’s part of his character, not the best part I’ll admit, but that is kind of one of his negative traits. That is how he is in the show too, so it is not something that comes out of no where.
Also, he isn’t patronizing towards his sister because she is female (which is what I’m assuming is meant from the comment) but because she is his sister. Siblings do this. I have three siblings and trust me when I tell you, we say the rudest and meanest things to one another all the time, but if someone else tried to talk crap on one of my siblings…no I’m coming for you.
Rebekah is spoiled and bratty. It is part of her character in the TVD and TO! And I imagined that the Rebekah in this story would be very much the same way. Klaus really only heard Marcel’s side of the breakup, and knowing how Rebekah is, he probably just assumed that Rebekah was being stubborn and not willing to compromise without really talking to her about it.
Was it a shitty thing of him to make such an assumption? Yeah, it was; but it stems from years of knowing his sister and how she is as a person. I think it’s a very in character thing for Klaus to do, both underestimating Rebekah and jumping to conclusions without listening to the other side first; especially when it comes to his siblings. I’m not going to remove Klaus’s flaws in this story and make him out to be the most ideal version of himself.
So yes, Klaus is patronizing towards ALL of his siblings….because honestly, that’s what siblings do. The part about it being disgusting makes me wonder if A) you’re an only child-(nothing wrong with that), but it tells me you don’t understand the dynamics of siblings and B) you don’t have an understanding of Klaus as a character.
Now the next comment….boy this one kind of has me very annoyed; not because it’s a negative comment but what is being insinuated or how I am taking it just kind of feels like a really hard slap in the face.
First things first, I 100% believe that police brutality and corruption is a MASSIVE problem that needs to be sorted out. I think that the use of brutal force by a police officer that results in injury or death of another person is disgusting.
I support the BLM and have zero patients with anyone who believes that police officers have the right to harm anyone in such a manner.
Now: onto the comment.
Klaus should have been taken off the case a few chapters ago. Vincent keeping him on makes no sense and there is no justification for it. There is a reason you don’t get involved with a witness on an ongoing case and Klaus did get involved. He should be absolutely off the case, there is no place for the police or FBI to abuse their power.
Okay, before we get to that last line…I’ll address the first half of the comment.
Yes. Klaus got involved with Caroline. It’s a Klaroline Fanfiction and that’s the point. As far as him being removed….yes. He should have. Vincent talks about that but decides against it because he is weighing Klaus fucking up against the potential for more loss of life.
Does he take Klaus off the case, when he knows the most about it, and re-interview all witness, try and learn the case from the inside out all the while there is a serial killer out there who might kill more people? Or, does he keep Klaus on the case in order to use not only the relationships he has built but the knowledge and understanding of the case in order to save time and potentially save lives?
Vincent went with option B. Was it the right choice? Probably not. It will be a bureaucratic nightmare; which Vincent already knows and understands; but if that means saving someone’s life in the long run…oh well.
Yes. Klaus getting involved with Caroline is a BAD move. It is something that I’ve mentioned time and time again in this story, Klaus should not get involved with Caroline because of her involvement in this case…..but he does anyway; because he is a human and sometimes people make bad decisions.
Now, onto the part that really bothers me.
there is no place for the police or FBI to abuse their power.
I do not understand how two consenting adults having sex is an abuse of power? Klaus is not forcing her to do anything Caroline does not want. He is not using his position of authority to convince her to sleep with him. Klaus is not taking advantage of Caroline in order to gain something or demanding sex in return for something Caroline needs.
Klaus sleeps with Caroline because he is falling in love with her.
When they have sex, it is not because Klaus is an FBI agent and Caroline is a witness; they had sex because they have feelings for one another. They care for one another and needed comfort; which they found in each other’s arms.
Was it a stupid thing to do? Absolutely; but again, Klaus and Caroline are human and sometimes humans make bad decisions…and without giving spoilers, there are unforeseen consequences that occur in the story that are a result of Klaus and Caroline having sex.
What bothers me is in the comment, or at least how I am taking it, is the comparison to two adults having consensual sex to police brutality and abuse of power. In today’s political climate, that is not something I am going to take lightly with my writing.
I do not condone, or support police brutality and I would not write something that would justify such abuse.
At all.
To sum it up, Klaus is a flawed character with negative traits. I’m not going to write a rose-colored glasses version of him. I do not like Mary-Sue or knight in shining armor type characters, and removing the patronizing and bad decision making part of Klaus would pretty much being doing so. My characters will have flaws and make bad decisions.
Wanderlust is a fanfiction. Maybe it is not everyone’s choice of enjoyment and that is fine. I’ve seen lately, and not just on my fic, but people leaving comments that are either rude or meant to be “constructive criticism”. Fanfiction is a hobby that is meant to be enjoyed and distract people from their own lives for a short while. Don’t try and tear it down and twist it to be something it is not. If you don’t like Wanderlust or Klaroline or anything else, that’s fine…but don’t try and insult those who do.
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Heyy Fa! I feel like we're friends too, just didn't know if you would consider it that way. Okay, I'll talk you whenever then :D it's really nice chatting with you btw! I always learn a new thing with every ask, and I don't know much about the game yet, so we can't really discuss things deeply, but I thought it'd be nice to just talk and share our thoughts!
Yeah the big majority of us has no luck whatsoever, sure I don't know for sure what's my case, since I have done about 1 pulls overall, 'cause it's better if I grind primogems first, but it probably will be the case too lol
Your sister has such good ones tho! I didn't realize it had been this long; it was released on September 28th, so it's been 2 months. Thinking about it, it is a lot of time to grind primos, but haven't you been playing just as long as her?
I got here late so I didn't know that! Good thing they had a bit of compassion. Can you imagine if Beemoov was a gambling company? The hell we would go through...
It's good that we can keep the four-stars, but it's better to get them now when their rates (is this how it's called?) are up; Zhongli, as always, is a disappointment. It's too bad Fischl is not so good and you didn't get a better dps, sadly, the bigger the range of characters, the smaller our chance of getting the character we want... That is, if they don't separate them in different banners in the future since there will be so many... It is unlikely, but a girl can dream.
I will go do my reading then, so I can fully understand the aspects of the banners... I never learned probability properly in school, but I guess they were training me for this day.
What event are you talking about? I only have Zhongli's story quest, the daily prizes, the permanent ones, the test runs and the Lisa and Kaeya note... Anyway I guess I can't play it yet. I have seen some strange spark that started a course, but I thought that was permanent random thing lol
I'm trying to be slow and enjoy the story, or else I would already be in Liyue I guess! I leaned that playing Horizon: Zero Down; the console was a friend's so I had to speed up and finish fast. What happened? I had to play a chapter meant to be played in level 34 while I was in level 24... Ha I got really mad at my devastating defeat, but I managed, not without dying dozens of times of couse.
That way of thinking about spears is so smart, it is kinda like that, I played Xiangling's side quest yesterday and I can see your point, it was so cool, they are something else indeed.
Mihoyo seems to be a nice company, and i think they are going to make good decisions in the future too!
I can see this exchange as some sort of friendship because I do like talking with you as well!! I’m glad that you’re learning something, you have been putting me to thinking about things a lot too.
Ah, you will get there to do your pulls, you’re so right in saving them. I did paid for the boost of daily primal gems, so I’m not so free to play as I claim to be, I paid like... 2 months. My sister too.
I and she agreed that it worthed (at the time we brought the first one, it was hella less expensive, now it’s almost the double of the price, but well, I needed it for Zhongli, it was better than spend crazy amounts). I don’t regret it, it’s less expensive than actually buying at once the amount for 10 pulls. So yeah, it’s better for you to save up your primals!!
Unless you get to see a 4 star that you really like, then you should try go for it a little, I tried getting Diona from the last banner, that’s why I also didn’t have enough to try 2 times for Zhongli. Which is a downside, xD then maybe you should really just save it all you can.
In a sense I was so lucky in getting Fischl, she was my first 4 star pulled from a special banner and since then she never left my party (I don’t regret having her as dps, even if she don’t cause a crazy amount of damage like Childe do per example).
We haven’t been playing since the first day actually, I think went to play weeks after the launch... she got luck for sure. Besides that thing I told you in the last ask, there’s a super rare rate between 47-50 pulls that you can get a 5 star and she got Keqin in the normal banner like this too. So she has Keqin, Qiqi and Childe as 5 stars, because she hit that rate.
While the 90 pulls guarantee a 5 star, the 47-50 is for when you do single pulls and pure luck. She hit it without even counting.
But yeah, she got Razor at the same time I got my Fischl actually, but she got him from the standard banner, meanwhile I got Fischl from Venti’s banner (actually, I think she has a Fischl too), but the fact is that she does have more characters than me cuz she don’t hold her pulls, she is always using them as soon she get the primals.
Besides, my sister is the type of player that got all the chests of the game, that finished all the quests early on, never lost any event and grind super hard, I slacked a little bit when we started playing, some days I didn’t even logged in. I started playing seriously after 1 week I guess, and even so she is hardcore in getting things in the game that I normally don’t even bother :’)
It is better to pull on the special banners, but kkkkk well, it’s a matter of luck, because while I was doing single pulls on the normal banner, I got a Razor from there too lately instead of getting him in the special banner kkkkkkk you get what I mean? You just can get luck and, in a sense, yes, they will keep adding characters and make it harder on us to get constellations, but this is how the game is supposed to be. There’s nothing we can do about it.
4 stars are more reliable than the limited time 5 stars in the special banner, meanwhile, the 5 stars in the normal banner are, indeed, in long term, equally more reliable and a better investment. Because in theory, you have the chance of keeping pulling them until the end of the game. The bad thing is that their abilities are outdated compared with characters like Childe and Zhongli =/
I think the flying event is only for players over level 20... I think you kinda should hurry up for it a little bit kkkkkk they’re giving us 60 primal gems in every course when we finish the little mini-game. And of course, you will have to unlock Liyue’s map =/ so the event will only show up to you after you do all of that. When you get in Liyue you can slow everything down tho, the story at least.
Ah!! I brought Horizon Dawn those days!! I’m searching for better ways to play it properly because I found it very complicated to understand, so I’m playing The Last Guardian before going to HD. If you have tips, please feel free to tell me!!
Did you enjoy playing with Zhongli? Like his physical sequence of hits? I found him so fun to play with!! He’s so fast. He’s faster than Xiangling for sure!!
I was testing Keqin today too and she’s super fast for a single hand sword user, she’s faster than the Traveler for sure too. Or at least, that was the feeling I had.
I think Mihojo is... well, not exactly bad but not the nicer, they’re lacking in many things about the game. The issue with bugs, the lack of security in accounts, the system of resin and such, but compared to EA, Beemoov or Nintendo, Mihojo surely isn’t the worst.
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so I was talking to my friend @timelordthirteen about some shit and I decided to just share with you all about the importance of actually explaining shit instead of just saying it. the Left, I am looking at you bitch (ily bitch but)
lol would put a read more but tumblr's being a petty little bitch today ❤
shitposting is fun. dunking on asshat right wingers is fun. you know what is not fun? seeing people not understand the basic terminology that we use in the ~discourse*
but. if we are going to use terminology, if we are going to inject regular old laypeople conversations with (imo) unneccessary amounts of academic terms, then we should try to use them correctly** because in many cases misusing them means we as leftists do not have a full understanding of what the fuck we're on about. this dilutes both the meanings of these terms and their purposes. I know I am wordy as fuck and can be hard to understand sometimes (thanks adhd) so what I am about to say is a little ironic, but clarity is fucking important when it comes to strategy and organizing.
so I am going to examine some commonly misused concepts and terms today. yay.
1. THEORY, PRAXIS AND FRAMEWORKS FOR ANALYSIS weeee yes I am fun at parties tyvm
what is a framework? a structure, in this case, for analyzing some bullshit we deal with irl. that's it lol but I use it a lot so I figured I'd define it here. examples of frameworks are: intersectionality, marxism, queer theory. seriously, if you can think it, it has already been analyzed through the queer lens.
what is theory? ideas, knowledge in the abstract based on looking at shit happen and analyzing that shit. it is useful because it can help us articulate what we are going through in our shitty lives. this is why I often recommend people learn about chomsky's manufacturing consent (theory of why we get the info we get from the media tl;dr), not because I think chomsky is the ultimate leftist grandpa but because this site needs some media literacy lmao. and btw, this clip narrated by amy goodman is a great, trippy little 4:30 min long video that explains the basics of manufacturing consent so you don't have to open a book or use drugs!
theory can help serve as a framework to understand what the fuck is happening to us irl, but imo is kind of an incomplete understanding of shit without lived experience (aka - theory v praxis). this is one reason why we should listen to marginalized groups on their own shit and not talk over them - because all of the research and theory in the world does not make me a Black woman living in Flint (aka - ground up organizing v technocracy). it is not about being nice, or politically correct, although we should be nice and we should care about people just because they're people. if you understand the why of listening to marginalized groups, you understand that it is mainly about communities knowing their own problems best and therefore having the best solutions for those problems.
2. MARXISM, CAPITALISM AND OTHER BUZZWORDS (and leftists need hobbies)
so marxism is a framework for socioeconomic analysis observed by mr kpop himself, karl marx (and his sugar daddy friedrich engels). because leftists love to argue, there are so many kinds of marxism, and if you ever feel like you are shouting into the void too much, just look up some arguments between stalinists and trotskyists. it's just... magical. no, I am not defining tankie here.
as many people smarter than I am have said (read: kwame ture seriously watch this video it's iconic), karl marx did not discover socialism or invent it or whatever, he observed capitalism and saw how shitty it is, like any other sane person would do. the point of marxism is not karl marx (which he would say) or tankies or fuckin guillotines***
things that marxism is:
- an analytical tool for looking at the world
- a theory which was used to develop the basis of different kinds of post-capitalist economic systems like communism and socialism
things that marxism is not:
- a system of economics or government lmao marx did not govern dick
- scary
marx looked at capitalism and said "this is definitely gonna fail someday because it's clearly unsustainable, I mean the proletariat is bigger than the bourgeoisie who owns everything uh yeah so I can do basic fucking math. if I have one capitalist and fifteen hundred workers, eventually that capitalist is gonna lose his damn head because he is gonna hoard all that wealth and his workers are gonna get pissed that they don't have their basic fucking needs met. lmao now put on some kpop, freddy" or something. idk that might not be a direct quote.
what is capitalism? (besides horseshit) a system of economics where industry is privately owned. and yes, this includes publically traded corporations because they are still owned by individuals (shareholders) even if they aren't privately owned by one person or a group of partners. truly a nightmare to live in, and we hate to see it.
what is the proletariat? well, the working class. and the bourgeoisie is the owner class, the capitalist class. the rich.
and this is something else that we need to discuss, tumblr. if you are going to say "eat the rich" please understand who you are talking about. we're not talking about random actors or musicians, or doctors or lawyers, even if they make better than a liveable wage. even if they often have zero class consciousness, meaning they don't ~see class, like colorblind racism for classism.
anyone who has to sell their labor for wages and is not part of the owner class is working class. this includes people who cannot work for any multitude of reasons (disability, can't find work, caretaker, etc) and also white collar workers who might be well off in relatively high paying jobs because they don't own the means of production, or capital that is used to produce shit. so yes, that rich actor who is a part of a union is actually part of the working class in marxist theory. when we say eat the rich, we mean jeff bezos, not john boyega. jeff bezos owns the means of production. john boyega is a working actor who is in a union.
this is important not because we shouldn't get pissed off when actors and celebrities do tone deaf shit like singing about imagining no possessions in their mansions while people starve during a pandemic. they need to put their money to good use, have some class consciousness, instead of asking fans to donate to causes that they could fund. but they are not the bourgeoisie until they start owning the means of production. and there is no doubt that many of them do, which is why we might eat gwyneth paltrow but we won't eat john boyega.
and by the way, eating the rich is metaphorical, a reference to french revolution-era philosopher jean-jacques rousseau's quote: "when the people shall have nothing more to eat, they will eat the rich." obviously I don't even need to explain it but I will anyway. basically, the people will forcibly redistribute the wealth of the rich if they have nothing else. this is why there are some very smart capitalists who are in favor of reforms and raising taxes, because they recognize the danger to their necks in not providing for basic needs of the working class. no, "eat the rich" does not mean be pro-cannibalism. but there are many capitalists who would prefer to die than lose their hoard so
oh, and one last thing. "no ethical consumption in capitalism" is tossed around a lot and it's a million percent true, but I need all of us to understand that it is not an excuse to support harmful practices but it is also not meant to shame consumers. it is rather an understanding that we as consumers are not responsible for the monstrous impact of capitalism. we live in it, we have no choice but to consume, and sometimes (most of the time) that means we have to buy shit that was produced in unethical ways. unfortunately supply chains being what they are, all consumption causes harm in some way.
it is a reminder that individual actions are not going to have the impact of collection actions. this is why plastic bag bans, though well-meaning, are not going to have the same impact on climate catastrophe as, say, banning fossil fuels would.
I am a vegetarian and I can recognize that I am doing a whole lot of nothing by not supporting factory farms, and when I was a vegan I wasn't doing much either. boycotts without mass support don't have much evidence of working. this is why bds exists - boycott divestment and sanctions. boycott, meaning don't support goods from various conpanies connected to something, divestment, meaning get companies/countries/institutions to remove their money from something, and sanctions, meaning getting countries to penalize a country for their bad behavior until they comply.
this is what the anti-apartheid south africa movement did and what palestinian rights organizers support for israeli apartheid.
do not allow legislators to put the burden of fixing the ills of society that capitalism created on consumers' shoulders.
3. INTERSECTIONALITY (because it deserves its own section)
I don't have as much to say on this as I did the last bit because holy shit capitalism, man.
intersectionality, a term that was coined by law professor kimberlé crenshaw in the late 80s to serve as a framework for people to critically assess how legal structures impact Black women differently due to class, race and gender. it is not incompatible with marxism (in fact marxism has been argued to be a form of intersectionality).
intersectionality can and should be used to examine why the Black queer experience is unique, for example. I also want to acknowledge that professor crenshaw isn't the only person to come up with intersectionality; sojourner truth spoke about it even if she didn't coin the term, for example. patricia hill collins, another influential af Black feminist academic****, created frameworks for viewing intersectionality. also you can read her book black feminist thought here for free.
intersectionality has been used - improperly - by liberal feminists***** to excuse bad behavior from leaders who pretend to care about women while creating and enforcing legislation that harms women. anyone who stans politicians at all needs help. it has also been misrepresented as essentialism, which it is also not (essentialism is the idea that everything has some assets that are necessary to its identity) because intersectionality isn't saying that every Black queer woman has the same experience, just that Black queer women might experience similar issues because of a system that negatively views them as Black and queer and women.
intersectionality does not excuse kamala harris for prosecuting poor moms of truant kids.
okay if you guys have things to add please do because I want us to educate each other instead of always talking shit. both is good.
* I am not calling out people for not being academic enough or not speaking english or not reading enough theory because LOL I am a 2x neurodivergent college dropout who radicalized by working retail and not by hearing karl marx talk dirty to me. also, not everyone speaks english like, I am truly not shitting on people.
** I recognize that language is fluid and ever changing, and that is a good thing. But diluting terms that serve specific purposes is not ever going to be good.
*** and I don't want to dismiss intra-leftist theory discourse (🤢) because I know how annoying it is to hear bernie sanders lumped in with liz warren, or bernie sanders lumping himself in with post-capitalists lmao of course I get it. but twitter discourse is not dismantling capitalism so ANYWAY
**** actually crenshaw built on collins' work (black feminist thought) and the collins built on crenshaw' work we love to see it.
***** I should go ahead and define liberal feminism as well as rad fem and terf and shit because people use them all very very loosely, especially terf (not every transphobe is a terf but every terf is a transphobe, it's like the rectangle/square thing). but I am exhausted with this so next time.
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