#i did this scene over 10 times because I kept forgetting what I was doing in the first place..he brainwashed me guys

[cheekylittlepupp]

This A Astarion video is for scientific research only, ok? ok.

The 3 ways he calls you bad depending on your oc's gender.

The way he says "yes" if you refuse to kneel the first time tho... gods the way this man purrs. If evil why hot?

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

My memory is terrible so I wanted to do a breakdown of my stuff every once in a while. Might be monthly, might be whenever I feel like it.

QL - Currently Watching

🇹🇭23.5 [11/12] - This show is not working for me anymore. Of course I'll finish because there's only one more episode but honestly I don't really care if any of them are together and that's a problem.

🇯🇵25 Ji, Akasaka de [5/10] - I'm so normal about this show. The way this show is using the show within the show is really smart and the editing is very good. I'm actually looking forward to see how the 'rival' will shake things up, which is odd for me.

🇰🇷Boys Be Brave [2/8] - So far so good. Gi Seop is obvisouly not the best boy but there's something about his energy on screen that is compelling to me. I really liked that Jin Woo was honest about his feelings and I like the 'I love you but I don't like you' dynamic a lot. The second couple gave me some ODS vibes so I'm bracing for some angst. [Finished will write it up at the next round up]

🇯🇵Living with him [6/8] - Filler episode with not a lot of new information, but I did enjoy the supermarket scene. I continue to delight in Kasuhito's expressions.

🇰🇷Love Is Like a Cat [2/12] - I'm waiting to binge this one. Didn't like how this started and the rhythm just isn't working for me. [Finished]

🇹🇭My Stand-In [1/12] - Pretty is pretty. But I don't trust Thailand with high concept so I have reservations. I hope I'm wrong. I liked the first episode so we'll see.

🇹🇭Only Boo! [7/12] - Well the Shone thing was what I feared and I don't think it really fit with this show at all but now it's over and I'm ready to forget it ever happened. Moo continues to be an absolute delight to watch and I'm looking forward to seeing a more relaxed Kang. The sides are pure torture. Payos sweetie, you need to confess or let it go cause I can't take it anymore.

🇹🇭We Are [8/16] - I'm enjoying the friendships in this a lot, it all feels very natural when they are together. I'm not super invested in any of the couples, although they're all doing a good job. I'm having a good time with Tan/Fang (Aou is so fun to watch) and hopefully I will have a good time whenever the show decides to give me Chain/Pun. I also think some of the actors have really improved, I was really impressed with Satang specially.

QL - Finished

🇹🇭1000 Years Old - I wrote before that this one wasn't really my thing and obviously the finale didn't really change that. The different lifetimes I think could've been explored earlier and would probably make this a bit more interesting to me. It's not like there was too much going on to use the time for that but it is what it is. Also the whole thing with the vampire girl/wife, it was so unexplored that I didn't really get why all of a sudden I should care about her at all. All in all, it started fun but halfway through it lost me a bit and now it's over. Bring on the next vamps.

🇹🇭Deep Night - This one surprised me a bit. There was a refreshing amount of good communication and they gave the people what they wanted, poly and older lesbians. I wish there were more acrobatics and the editing was weird in places but overall it's an entertaining show.

🇰🇷Gray Shelter - This is weird one. Because I feel like I have to fill in the gaps myself and that just shouldn't be the case. I enjoyed the actors a lot, and Lee Jae Bin presence on screen kept me engaged for most of it. There is definitely potential here if they had the time to explore all the different elements. But this runtime it's just not enough to fully flesh out these characters and the complex issues it wants to tackle.

🇯🇵Love is Better The Second Time Around - Started great but lost itself by the end. I don't think it needed that external conflict by the end with the brother and the mother because they weren't on firm ground to begin with. If I were to make a list like this one by @lurkingshan I don't think Myiata and Iwanaga would make it there. Iwanaga was amazing to watch though. He pretty.

🇯🇵My Strawberry Film - One pining gay boy does not a bl make. With that said, even as a drama there's nothing interesting here.

🇹🇭To Be Continued - Meh. It was fine. I wish I had more of the side couple because Gumbie is adorable. Midway this was getting into The Promise territory, and while it's not that bad, and I guess the reason for the separation is a valid one, I don't think Achi being the 'bad guy' for most of the show actually makes sense.

🇹🇼Unknown - The last two episodes were a bit of a letdown if I'm honest. I have nothing to say about the first 10 episodes. Incredible. The character growth is so well done, and the family scenes feel very grounded. Just all around outstanding work from the whole cast, but specially Kurt and Chris. I think Kurt showed Yuan growth so well and I'm in awe of Chris' acting all the way through. Even with the little stumble at the end this show and these characters will stay with me for a while.

Rose Watches OJBL

Junjou (2010) - Second chance romance. I liked it. It's a nice watch, nothing particularly outstanding or new about this one, although that's not really fair considering it's more than a decade old, but alas I've seen other versions of this particular type of bl. Nevertheless I liked the characters, specially Tozaki,

Athlete (2019) - The visuals were the best part for me. There are several things I like in this, the main actor does a really good job imo and I truly enjoyed the bar scenes. But it doesn't all come together for me. I don't have a problem with the ending as much as how we got there.

Other - Watched

This was a slow month for me. I started a new job and some other stuff happened so I haven't really been in the mood to watch new stuff. Mostly comfort watches and rewatches. Oh I did watch Heartbreak High S2. It was good.

That's it for right now. My ask box is always open. Wishing you all a wonderful holiday tomorrow��

[cloverdaisies]

BLACK HEARTS - L.SY C.CH L.JY

description: a mysterious trio rules the night, masked in balaclavas armed with whatever they could get their hands on… one favor can reveal a whole lot more than you expect. this is not your first visit to the black hearted universe.

member: sangyeon, chanhee, juyeon x you

genre: angst!action!crime!au!

channel: @deoboyznet

warnings: violence! triggering scenes! reader discretion is advised.

a/n: big thank you to @winterchimez and @heemingyu for helping to curate the ideas to write this piece !! i challenged myself to write this in an hour !! which i just about achieved !! i just had a moment where i was like guys let’s put our brains together and that idea of spontaneity is what makes pieces like this special!

When imagining criminal talk, you imagine murder, guns, the same cold-hearted clichè you hear on the silver screen, however when encountering brains that are not well developed enough to find full time jobs to be honorable members of society you find conversations like these:

“I’m literally batman.” Sangyeon spits across the passenger seat where Juyeon is busy groaning in annoyance, left palm rested on his head.

“No because that would mean I’m robin which is just so wrong.” Juyeon retorted, looking out to the road ahead ignoring the disappointment from Chanhee who had the courtesy of listening to these imbecilic conversations in the back seat.

“Guys-” Chanhee began but was shortly cut off.

“I would be batman.”

“No you wouldn’t, I’m batman.”

“Literally how? I’m batman.”

“Guys?” Chanhee couldn’t seem to get a word in between the two grown men as they drove to their destination, seemingly forgetting all about any plans or what they had to do. “You both are batman, I’m robin.”

Being the only one with a degree in computer science and the brains to execute any plans, Chanhee didn’t mind being robin as long as it settled the childish arguments between the two.

“We’re 5 minutes out, I’ve got into the security systems and disabled the CCTV cameras so we should be good to go. The place closes in 10.” Finally getting his words heard, the other two boys nodded and Sangyeon stepped on the gas - a wide cheshire cat grin spread across his face.

The night was a deep navy, the clouds wrapping up the silver crescent moon in a soft grey blanket, the street lights flickered as the wind hurled and whistled like the sound of pained ghosts.

A small café, bar at night, dimly lit with warm lights stood out from the other stores on 7th street, the place always did well and attracted customers from all over the globe with its homemade goods, in house brewery and highly prestigious aesthetics.

You were working your late shift that night and if you hadn’t noticed the red security light on the cameras begin blinking and suddenly going out - you’d have no reason to believe anything was wrong.

On the phone to your manager, you frantically began asking whether the security had been breached, as you couldn’t get on the till machine to view the stores earnings either - being the lazy old man who you’d woke up from his beauty sleep, he of course began yelling and being entirely unhelpful.

“I’m telling you, I can’t get on to the checkout the lights on the cameras have gone off, I’m scared this hasn’t happened before.” You try to your best to explain how dire the situation was but it was clearly landing on deaf ears.

“Y/N, it must happen all the time. I’m going back to bed I don’t have time for your shit this evening.” With that he hung up, leaving you afraid and the sound of tires screeching from behind the glass window pane had made everything you suspected feel as if it was coming true.

Frantically you got down behind the counter, making an attempt to press the panic alarm but failing as the sound of the door being shattered into tiny crystals screamed through the store, masking your whimpers you kept a tight grip of your mouth.

“Hey kitty cat? You can come out we know you’re here.” A low voice purred, already mapping out the sequence of your death you kept quiet and tried to prolong the moment.

“Come on birdy, you can’t hide.” With that two feet landed in front of you with a slam, a man dressed in all black, features covered by a balaclava crouched in front of you, a pair of unsettlingly familiar cat eyes smiling at you. He reached out, gently pulling your hand away from your mouth. “You know, I won’t hurt you, we just want some cash darling.”

In his right hand was a smaller gun which he didn’t point directly at you, he just led you to the counter where you hadn’t transported the money to the safe yet.

You opened it allowing him to grab all the cash you’d made that day and stuff it into the duffel bag the other was holding.

“Thanks, princess.” The other zipped up the bag, noting the sound of sirens beckoning in the distance.

Since you were unharmed, you didn’t really care that they’d stolen all the money you’d earned that day, after all you never saw a penny of it anyways. However, you’d realized there was a third man in the mix, slightly daintier in frame who rushed out of the private stairwell carrying an arm load of cash stolen from the high security safe upstairs - how did he even get in there?

The sirens closed in, they began to panic as the red and blue flashes closed in on the store.

“Go out the back. It’s unlocked.” You had no idea why you’d told them that, however something in your conscience told you to, whether the devil on your shoulder had told you or you genuinely hated your job that much.

“Why?-” The familiar cat eyes asked, whilst the doe eyed one also stared in confusion over at you.

“Guys there’s no time let’s go.” The muscle of the group barged through the back door, just in time for officers to breach the building.

“Are you unharmed? Are the perpetrators still in the building?” An officer with a megaphone yelled into the store, you did the standard procedure and walked out with your hands in the air.

The last thing you expected was to be grounded to the floor by an officer, your face hitting the pavement lightly with your hands behind your back.

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you.” The officer spoke in a gruff voice, screaming to stop resisting as you laid confused.

“I literally work here. I didn’t do anything.”

“Ma’am this store closed hours ago, you have no-”

A shot, a deafening shot that began a frenzy, the officer behind you fell to the floor before you were grabbed and within half a millisecond told to sprint.

A jet black Mercedes had blocked the main road, the sound of chaos erupting behind you, before the door opened and you were let in. The driver sped to the scene before your saviour swept into the passenger seat, if they'd been able to send more police cars there would have been a high likelihood you'd have never gotten away. However, leaving the scene the immense stomach feeling of guilt consumed you.

"You killed a man? Why would you do that?" You yelled suddenly as a silence grew across the men that had gotten you in to the situation.

"Hey, I didn't kill him, it’s not fatal he’ll be fine.” Pulling off the mask, cat eyes revealed himself, his black hair, sharp gestures and sultry voice. Juyeon Lee? You almost couldn’t believe your eyes.. nevermind look at his.

“Besides he would have either killed you or you’d be behind bars. No state attorney would give you a good time in court, we’re just repaying the favor.” Also ripping off his balaclava the driver looked back at you in your seat, his honey skin and deep brown eyes. Sangyeon?

“Do you guys have no sympathy? Is this what you’re doing with your lives now?” You asked distraught over the entire situation that had unfolded.

“Sometimes it’s safer to be feared than loved, y/n.” Sangyeon looked back, a sadistic grin painted across his lips as he almost looked down on your tears.

“Just be quiet and we’ll talk more when we get back. Sangyeon drive.” The boy next to you spoke, his eyes engrossed in the laptop in front of him. He had a more ethereal appearance than the others almost fairy-like which must be a great disguise of innocence for the life he lived. Possibly the most shocking reveal of them all, Chanhee Choi.

Despite feeling as if your entire world had collapsed in front of you and the wavering feelings of guilt eating you up like a lion to steak, somehow it was the most alive you felt in a long time. However the most shocking reveal of this entire encounter was that the same people you’d went to high school with, were living double lives as some of the most notorious criminals in the city.

As you’d arrived a small home located in the middle of a forest area you hadn’t recognized before, the same familiar cat eyes had something to say after the others had already wandered inside.

“I don’t want to be anywhere near you.” You looked at Juyeon seriously folding your arms, had you not had history you probably would have been more grateful for his actions tonight.

“That was years ago, darling. Do you think I still love you? Do you think I still care?” He laughed, his teeth curling into a smirk and his tongue poking the side of his jaw.

“Clearly! You jumped in front of an armed police officer you absolute maniac. I was always right about you, you’ve become some kind of psycho, that’s why I broke up with you and why the hell is Chanhee even involved with you?” You yelled, quickly being hushed by his voice as he stepped closer.

Something about meeting an ex after years of being apart can feel awkward, but for you it felt like time never passed. The evil inherently toxic nature of Juyeon was always drawing no matter how much you told yourself no, it was addicting.. those feelings of spite, anger, envy were all things that buried that burning feeling of love.

As he looked at you under the moonlight you’d been reminded of the way his eyes softened, the way that the cold words he choses were always ways of communicating that he cared. He didn’t enjoy that he’d corrupted your life, he thought he was saving you. If you couldn’t bare the weight of your world he would take you into his, he didn’t want to ruin your life.. He’d risk his life for you, since he knew his was a lot less “valuable”, which you continuously told him back then wasn’t true.

“Maybe I do but remember, you wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for me y/n and I told you not to fall in love with me.” He shook his head, looking down at you, tracing his finger across your jaw, bringing back all those feelings of safety you once felt. “There’s nothing left for you but me. Everyone else is gone. It’s always been that way and you know that.”

Unfortunately he was right.

TBC.

[mollymarymarie]

I’m so unbelievably sorry that mean people on the internet ruined something meaningful to you. Your writing is impactful and this isn’t the first time I’ve said that to you (and won’t be the last)- DYH genuinely changed my life. I have never read words that have resonated with me the way DYH has. I grew up in a house hold where my mother weaponized religion and it has made me HATE religion. Dear Your Holiness spoke about religion in ways that I not only agreed with (aka Sirius’s hate for religion) but it also changed my view so much on religion. In chapter 5, when Sirius and Remus were discussing Orions eulogy- their conversation about religion repeats in my head daily. “I don’t believe a person should be kept out of such a place just because their circumstances in this world were too much for them to bear… If anything, those are the people who should be let in first.”

Do you understand how impactful and important those words (and the that entire scene) are? I would get that entire conversation tattooed behind my eyelids if I could. I lost someone the same way Sirius lost Regulus in DYH and those words changed me. That conversation changed something in me and it’s a fanfic! I literally don’t have the words to express how I feel about your writing, in Dear Your Holiness especially.

Excuse my language but FUCK JKR. I am 25 years old and I am still just as in love with the Harry Potter universe (and the fan created lore) as I was 10 years ago. I am not ashamed of that and never will be, but I am also the first person to express my dislike for JKR and her shit views. I refuse to let her take this from me.

I am not writing this to tell you to write again, that is completely your choice and I respect and support you either way, but I NEED you to know that you changed my life. I’m genuinely not trying to sound dramatic, I just don’t know how else to express my feelings about your writing. I left a comment to you on DYH that said “the things you’ve written in this have left me more hopeful in the last two days than I have been in the last 25 years”, that was in September, it’s been over two months and I still feel just as strongly about what I wrote as I did when I wrote it. You’re an immensely talented writer, and whether you are writing about dead gay wizards from the 70’s or original characters that you create, you writing is and will be impactful to at least one person, so please never forget that. Sorry this is so long, I just needed you to hear this :)

I'm not often at a loss for words, but you got me. I'm not kidding when I say I'm crying at work over this. And I mean that in the best possible way, friend ❤️

It's one thing to know my work has impacted someone, but DYH was deeply personal to me, so much of that fic was lifted from my own life, my own struggles with religion and grief and loss, so it carries extra weight knowing that you were struggling right alongside me, and that my vocalization (even though fictional scenarios) of those struggles meant something to you.

I can't thank you enough for this. I will keep writing, even if you, friend, would be the only one reading ❤️❤️

[dragon-business]

Y0 antagonists ratings/opinions

Mister(s) Shakedown(s) + Amon

Didn't get to Amon in Y0, because we didn't finish these quests. One of the few that we didn't do in full, actually. Didn't seem as fun at the moment. Amon gets a pass, because he gets more screen time in later games. 

Evilness: 4/10 robbing people is bad, I heard Forgetability: 7/10 hard to forget, when Amons are in each game Iconic level: friend of a mutual tells me they’re cool/10 memes Free slot: ????too hard to get through to the good parts

2. Helicopter-car chases

These sequences was pure torture. My hands were cramped even when I wasn't holding the controller. Every minute lasted an hour. The fucking bazookas? Infuriating. Worst survival horror game.

Evilness: 9/10 fuck this shit, let me out of the car Forgetability: 1/10 still feel the cramps .__, Iconic level: 0.5/10 “look, just like in the movies, right?” Free slot: 1,5/10 on enjoyment scale 

3. Cult leader from the substory

Pretty funny scam artist, all the later games character development got him on the list. We love us a lil fucked up reoccurring character.

Evilness: 8/10 doing terrible things to vulnerable people Forgetability: 4/10 forgot about him each time until the next appearance Iconic level: 4/10 will never forget that dance Free slot: retirement home for one million years for the grandpa

4. Dojima captain guy 1

????????

Evilness: 7/10 he’s a yakuza, after all, he’s done some bad stuff, probably Forgetability: 10/10 who? Iconic level: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Free slot: forgot he existed

5. Dojima captain guy 2

Purple suit guy with the boxing/dancing ring in the basement was pretty fab. He gets extra points for the drip. Otherwise idk what he- wait he saved Majima that one time? Huh. You keep learning things.

Evilness: 7/10 normal yakuza guy doing yakuza things Forgetability: 9/10 I know he was there, I guess Iconic level: 3/10 purple suit points Free slot: purple suit, that’s all I remember

6. Kuze

First fight with him was pretty tough. And then he just kept coming back, again and again. With desperate determination. And Kiryu got stronger and stronger between each encounter. And Kuze stayed on the same level, just looking more and more beat up. And that's amazing storytelling through game mechanics, but also really iconic, ngl. 

I mean, man rode a dang motorbike in the sewers. He got the motorbike in the sewers, positioned it in the right spot to start the chase (did he get help for that?), and then rode it down there, through the nasty Kamurocho pipes, hunting down an annoying twunk like a medieval baron chasing a boar. All this while already beat up by said twunk. And he gets beaten again. Rolling in that sweet sewage water in his bandages. 

Evilness: 6/10 he’s out there vibing to his own tunes Forgetability: 1/10 he Will Not Let You Forget about him, even if you’d want to Iconic level: 8/10 meme icon Free slot: he seemed like real threat at the start, but by the chase in the sewers he was our pal, our failmate bro, all the respect to his dedication o7; 4/10 on actual fights and smartness

7. Kashiwagi 

He's on the list for what he did to Nishiki. Just sent the brother of his son to kill, uhh, his son. Just like that. Like, I get that he had his reasons, he really thought he was doing good, he thought he's saving Kiryu from suffering. Because of course it is all about Kiryu and what he supposedly (probably) (maybe) needs.

Evilness: 7/10 good intentions on the way down Forgetability: 0.5/50 look at him slurping cold noodles in his first scene, he’s stealing the show Iconic level: 7.5/10, again, look at the man eating noodles like a dad Free slot: 2/10 top tier dad, bless. 

8. Sagawa

He's such a masterfully done abuser. Partially because he acts so nice. But there's always an unnerving feeling underneath it.

He only resorts to violence when everything's gone to shit. But it always feels like he's capable of it at any moment. It's like a rock constantly looming over, waiting to drop.

Evilness: 8.5/10 on the creep scale, very good for the story Forgetability: 2/10 he’s in your walls, he owns your walls, your balls, and your paycheck Iconic level: 6/10 smartly dressed Free slot: 1/10 as a person, would deck him on sight; thank g-d Majima's away from him now

9. Shimano

Smart, playing the long game, but really, in Y0 he seemed smarter than he is. 

Long distance threat to Majima's safety, the threat he has trouble seeing as one. And that's the real kicker, that's the horror of it all – Majima striving to get back in the family, back under Shimano's thumb in his self-destructive last mission quest. Majima deciding to come back/stay even after the Hole, after y0, Majima getting so close to freedom but not being able to grasp it, and rationalising staying near Shimano for years, rebelling, but never separating in full.

And Shimano perfectly understands the power he has over Majima, and is always ready to use it. To break him at a moment's notice, if it will be useful for his plans. And this is way more uncomfortable and terrifying than Sagawa's brand of underlying threat.

Evilness: 12/10 made us start the “save Majima” movement Forgetability: 0/100 burned into my brain in the worst way possible Iconic level: 3/7 fashion sense is kinda bland, but he does have a presence Free slot: again, would deck on sight, but still – amazing character writing, very cool points for Majima’s story

10. Oda

Big oof moment, amaright?..

Such a fascinating character. He's not stereotypical, and has a compelling, layered personality, which is amazing for a gay man in the big hit game. But also. Ooof. Such a big oooof.

But, surprisingly in this day and age, it's not being gay that made him a piece of trash awful man who died. He was all that on his own, it was just his shit finally catching up to him in the end. And the love for Tachibana was actually his saving grace in life, a point of growth as a person (albeit small). So not denying him that, no. Even one-sided, it made him more human. 

Idk if writers did all that on purpose, but these points felt very distinct in the story.

It's fascinating how Oda's character is a (terrible) person first, and he just happens to be gay. But also, him being gay is ultimately important. We played y0 before all the gay shows took over the screens, and this storyline hit us like a train. Can tell you a lot about the state of queer media at the time.

– Me, after we've met Oda: hehe, he totally has it for the boss The plot: 

– Me, after seeing them interact on screen: hehe, Tachibana is making him suffer :3c Me, when plot: .___.

Evilness: 9.5/10 the 0.5 is from his love for Tachibana  Forgetability: -100/10 I lay awake at night thinking about this bitch Iconic level: 1000/5 look at him, man’s shining Free slot: Bidoof

11. Nishitani

Hated him at the start, because he's a creepy cat, because of the noises, and also because of that one slide on the ground with the knife wiggle, you know the one. Unironically love him now, because the world out there is full of far worse people, and he sure did his attempt at surviving it.

(He totally crawled away at the end, no body no finale, I stan by this)

Evilness: 7/10 he's pretty fucked up, ngl, bringing corpses to Majima like a stray cat Forgetability: -10/10 lives rent free in everyone's head Iconic level: 9/10 man's been on the screen the least but made an impression of a lifetime (on all of us, and on Majima) Free slot: yet another normal cat that everyone think is a "mad dog"; honorary Knife Guy

12. Dojima

Organized a wholeass hunt for Kiryu, got Makoto shot, planned a big power grab, put it all on the table… and lost it all. To Sera.

Respecting him for the effort, he didn't let us rest once. Not respecting what his drinking (and other life choices) made him into later, but even before that I struggle to see what Yayoi saw in him. Apart from maybe her being a young girl from a yakuza family that arranged a political marriage for her when she wasn't even 20 yet. And there is a story here that can be very interesting, like, did you know that (according to rggo) at this exact time Sera was a student that was often arrested on protests? In this essay I will-

Evilness: solid 8/10 he do be scheming Forgetability: 1/10 dragon of who, you say? (Kiryu is very much the dragon of Daigo by this point, but yeah) Iconic level: 5/10 dressed good and has big presence, but derails down the line to a total (not hot) mess, so no respect  Free slot: you know, right? Daigo is totally Seras' so- *gets gutted by Yayoi*

13. Knife guy

When Kiryu went through his (and ours) first Long Building™️ to get to the (first) fight with Kuze, we encountered Him. The guy with the knife. 

It was already tough going through room after room of generic enemies when Kiryu wasn't that strong yet, and we weren't that skilled with the controls. And the Knife Guy was the first recurring enemy, a small mini-boss with a stabby knife that would bleed us dry and leave us savescumming. And he kept coming back. Again, and again, and again, and-

Before Kuze. Before Majima Everywhere. Before everything. There was an unkillable lil freak with a knife that just wouldn't quit until you literally threw him out of the 2nd floor window.

And I think it's beautiful.

Evilness: 5/10 man’s just doing his yakuza job, and doing it well Forgettability: -10000000000/10 who could ever forget this man the- *checks notes on the hand* Tomoda Iconic level: ∞-1/10 there is a knife guy shape forever imprinted in our hearts but there is still free room left, because Free slot: in this world only Majima surpasses him, because Majima is, of course, The Ultimate Knife Guy

- before / navigation / next

[golden-flute]

TDP S7 Spoilers

I lack the capacity and the energy to articulate all my thoughts about the final season of The Dragon Prince in any meaningful way, but here are some highlights of my thoughts, in no particular order:

SPOILERS AND RAMBLINGS BELOW.

Runaan is officially back in business, baby! This was the slowest burn to get one of my favorite characters back, but I ate up every scene with him in it, particularly his reunion with Ethari, and how much of a dad he was in his other scenes. 11/10, no notes.

Allen picked Runaan up like he was a doll, lol. I snorted at that part.

Ethari is so gorgeous, I kept staring at him every time he was on screen. Love the new hairstyle. And his and Runaan's reunion, have I mentioned that?

I'm actually kind of surprised that nothing happened with Soren and Corvus. I thought at least Corvus might confess his feelings, even if Soren didn't reciprocate. I don't know if I wasn't reading into it right, but I got some major pining vibes in S6 from Corvus.

I KNEW HARROW WAS THE FUCKING BIRD. Omg, they waited until the end of the show to reveal that?!?

Which leads me to my next point. I know Aaron Ehasz has teased that he wants to make another show based in Xadia, and absolutely none of the characters felt like their entire stories had been satisfactorily closed by the end. Are we actually getting more, or is Aaron Ehasz just setting things up, just in case Netflix agrees to greenlight more?

Claudia's story didn't conclude at all. Neither did Aaravos'. He kept saying "If you kill me, I'll be back in seven years," and they didly-done killed him. So...??? Seven-year time-skip??? I would enjoy seeing these characters aged up again.

UM HELLO DANTE BASCO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? Playing another dragon, I see. <3

LET AMAYA CURSE IN THE TIME SKIP. JUSTICE FOR AMAYA'S POTTY MOUTH.

BYE KARIM. I hated him, and it wasn't just that he was an irredeemable POS, it was that he was so fucking annoying as a character. He was like a cockroach. Every time he came back for another season, I just sighed. I wish they would have gotten rid of him sooner. He didn't DO anything different, or anything worth coming back over and over again. There was nothing to add to his story, and it was super boring. I wish they would have killed him in a season or two, because then part of Janai's arc could have been how to mourn someone whom you had a complicated relationship with. Anyway, thank you for your service, Aaravos, you glorious bastard. And with such... flair, lol.

Rayllum was super adorable, as per usual. Loved it, no notes.

Stella using her portals to straight up decapitate that one dark beast??? Um???? I was legitimately like O_O

I'll be honest, I was kind of taken off guard by Ezran's reaction to Runaan's presence in ep 1. I did appreciate that he sort of failed to walk his own talk about forgiveness, and how it can be hard when you're facing the actual person who killed your family, but boy, I was not expecting the sudden 180 from him! I am glad, though, that in the end, he didn't give an outright, tearful forgiveness or anything. I genuinely think he offered his tentative forgiveness only because his love for Rayla was stronger than his hatred for Runaan. And that's so real. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. There are complicated feelings there, and they did a good job of showing that you can forgive without forgetting. And Ezran has always been this voice of calm and peace--it was interesting to explore some darker themes from him.

I was so glad to see Terry play a larger role this season! He's always been Claudia's yes-man, but in this one, he was actually calling the shots himself, and it was fabulous. His and Soren's bro moments were wholesome goodness I didn't know I needed.

Goodbye, Arch Dragons. :(

I wonder what happened to Amaya's elf interpreter friend. I can't remember their name, but I didn't even see them in the crowd at Everkind. Hope they're well!

Phoe-Phoe's back!! And Lujanne's up!

Oh, we never saw Ellis and Ava again. Huh.

That whole thing with Soren and Claudia's mom (Lyssa)... I do wish there had been more there. It was interesting to hear Soren's decision that he didn't want to see her, but still carried her picture on his person. And I'm glad they didn't force him to reconnect with her--not every estranged parent-child relationship has to be something salvageable, and TDP has always been a show I trust to represent realistic relationships, be they objectively positive, negative, or in between. But I do wish we'd had time to linger with him on that decision, maybe have a conversation between him and Corvus about it. Lyssa's presence, or lack thereof, was such a big part of season 6, it just felt like there wasn't much closure there, even if it was a conversation. Perhaps they're leaving that exploration open for a second show?

Avizandum returning was pretty cool. RIP Zubeia, though, she was awesome.

The Novum Blade was cool, but... they didn't really do much with it. Is that another "tuck away for the future" thing, mayhaps? Anyway, that's enough for now. All-in-all, I think S6 was my favorite season, followed by S3, but I think it was mostly because I felt like more questions were asked than answered by the end of S7. But hopefully, that means we might get more Dragon Prince content in the future! I wouldn't be opposed to that!

[maryannecrimsworth]

Little Spider Show

Part 1 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10

Guide for tormented hearts

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Selective mute Reader

Warnings: anxiety crisis; another bullying(I mean, revenge) scene;

Summary: You are not the one who forgets. Not when they called you worthless for no reason and made you vomit in the middle of the hallway. So as soon as you woke up and your brother unlocked your cell, you knew exactly how to take revenge. Your plan was going to work perfectly — until Wednesday sat beside you. But you had no idea that her plan would be so much better than yours.

Hank was staring directly at you when you sat up inside the cage. You were still dirty and wearing Nevermore’s uniform, but you felt great. Your head was light and your eyes moved softly, none of it hurt nor ached. Even your jaw and teeth, which used to be sore every time you woke up, did not hurt at all. Seriously, you were smiling before you met your brother’s gaze.

"Good morning." His voice was low. Too low. Hank has gotten tired of asking how your night was and how you were feeling, so he always remained in silence as he unlocked your cage. Was it a good night or bad one? "Are you going to school today?" His tone was soft. So soft. Hank only spoke like this with students and fragile people. He wouldn't speak with you like that. Unless the night was terrible.

"Yes. " Your throat was dry and your voice was hoarse but you kept going. "Are you not?"

There were dark circles under his eyes and his hair was messier than usual. Hank walked away from you, pacing loudly and slowly around the room while his hands ran through his hair frantically. "I know about yesterday." You swore a hairball fell from his head. "I will talk with these girls and I—"

"Wow, Enid really deserves the 'gossip queen' title, doesn't she?" You walked over your closet. "It's alright, Han, we know this would happen sooner or later."

"No!" He retorted. "No, none of it is supposed to happen. I promised you that I would keep you safe and—"

"We are fucked up, Hank." You turned towards him with your clothes in your hands. "We are odd and devilish and there will always be these stupid people to bother us." Hank swallowed dryly because of your words, guilt heavily falling upon his shoulder. "And it's fine by me. I'm safe. I like Nevermore." You smiled at him. "Don't get involved, please. I can handle it." They would pay for it, you thought, but your kind smile did fool Hank. 

"Okay." He sighed. "Okay, go take a bath and brush your teeth. We're having coffee at the Weathervane."

X

“What is it?” You asked as Hank delivered you a hot mug. The liquid was light brown with a bit of cream on top of it — this was not your order. You're supposed to drink milk, pure milk, as you have done your whole life.

“Latte.” you snorted and pushed the mug away. “What?”

“Mama said I can’t have coffee.”

“Mama can rot in hell, Y/N.” His dark voice startled you. “Sorry. Look, she never wanted you to have coffee because you are more useful asleep. You were more useful.” You could see Hank scolding himself internally. “Try it. I’m sure you’re going to like it.” Hank winked and you said nothing. “It will help you to stay awake longer.” 

This argument was enough to make you grab the mug and drink it all at once. Your whole face turned red as some of the boiling liquid ran out of your lips.

“I burned myself.” You whined, painting and cleaning your mouth with your sleeve. 

“Of course you did.” Hank pulled your ear. “You moron.”

X

The morning went on without much problem. You could swear someone roared behind your back but, as always, your focus remained on the teacher speaking, not on your incredibly pleasant classmates. The Biology and Chemistry classes passed smoothly: you held your pen with one hand and your notebook with the other, writing diligently so as not to raise any worries from your teacher. But, your notes had nothing to do with the words on the black board — you were writing down all the items you needed for your plan, not caring much about the ionic bonds and mammals. 

Until the lunch break, you needed to gather, somehow, a ipecac leaf and find a plant dehydrator. You figured you might have luck if you took a trip to the greenhouse, even though your brother had forbidden you to go there. Well, the worst that could happen to you was another pull on your ear — so you decided: you would go to the greenhouse, you only needed to wait for the bell to ring again and then sneak out the class. 

You smiled to yourself and closed your notebook when a pair of eyes made your skin burn. You lifted your head and looked at the teacher. 

“Our next exam is going to be a pair research.” He said, probably not for the first time. “Are you comfortable with your pairing?” His eyes dropped to the figure sitting beside you. You followed the teacher’s gaze and — you held your breath instinctively — Wednesday Addams was staring at you this whole time. Why haven't you been left alone this time? You had been released from pair work from the very first day. And it was just a research paper, you saw the topic written on the board, you could do it all by yourself and— wait, why wasn't Wednesday blinking?

“Be careful what you wish for, Mr. Torres. The mad scientist and her little helper puppy can become the duo of your nightmares!” The class laughed because of that same shrill voice of yesterday. So…you supposed you were the puppy? 

What was this girl's obsession with calling you a dog? It was your brother who trained werewolves! 

“A mad scientist usually has a monster at their disposal.” A cold voice struck back and everyone turned to its owner. Of course Wednesday wouldn't keep it shut. “I can confirm it.”

Some students squealed and laughed at the expression of fear that made the shrill-voiced girl pale.

“Silence!” Mrs.Torres tried to regain control of the class.“Mrs. L/N?” You tried to look up at the teacher again, but everyone’s gaze was on you. The laughter did not stop and the whispers grew louder as Wednesday kept sitting gracefully by your side. She was all that: confident, scary and strong-minded — while you could not even force yourself to answer the teacher. An expectant silence dominated the room as the professor's eyes remained on you. “Are…you…comfortable…with…your…pairing?” He asked ridiculously slower, as if you had some kind of retardation or deafness. Now the entire class looked at you as if you indeed had it. Even Wednesday’s gaze got bewildered as your sweat started to drop on your desk. 

Of course I’m not comfortable, I am never comfortable with these purple-dressed teenagers around me.  

You tried to swallow the knot that came up in your throat, but the movement made you cough instantly. Your mouth and throat were so dry that a painful itch spread all over your neck and you weren’t able to breathe anymore. Your whole body was shaken by the coughing as you covered your lips and sprinted out the room. 

You heard loud laughs while you rushed down the hallway, looking for the nearest toilet with the air being violently expelled from your lungs. Your abdomen and chest were already shaking with spasms by the time you broke into the restroom and sank your head into the sink. You turned on the tap and drank the water in quick sips, guiding the water to your lips with your hands. 

Your face and vest were already soaked when the bell rang loudly through the whole school. Fuck. The lunch break. You lost the opportunity, you couldn't make it to the greenhouse. Your plan was ruined. No one was going to take revenge today. Perhaps it really was a dish that should be served cold.

“L/N.” Speaking in coldness, guess who followed you. Your cheeks were still wet as you turned to Wednesday. In fact, you didn't want to, but she keeps coming up beside you and you can't stop yourself from turning around. “You ruined my message.”

Oh, fuck you. And you ruined my plan, so we’re even. What about it?

You stomped over the door and tried to close it. 

“This is the female restroom.” She noted, her fist closed around the knob as your hand pushed the knob on the other side. You tried to slam the door one more time, but she held it open. “It is you who should leave.” So you did. You wriggled out of the doorway, without even touching Wednesday's uniform, and stepped back into the hallway. 

The hallway now full of students heading to the canteen, talking and laughing and walking together in these huge packs of purple people. Someone stepped on your foot as you tried to control your breathing. It didn’t even hurt, but you walked back in reflex and your back hitted someone. It hitted Wednesday. 

"Follow me." She said after unseaming the small crease you made in her skirt. 

She paced determinedly down the hall and you followed, soon reaching the quad full of students. Curiously, she stopped and stood at a distance from the tables and the water fountain. Silence filled the space between you and you found yourself obliged to analyze her face after explanations. Her eyes wandered precisely through the quad, following a moving-target as a twist took over her lips. A smirk?

A loud scream made you look away: and then you saw. Oh, what a beautiful image you saw! The shrill-voiced girl was screaming for her life in the middle of the courtyard. A dozen spiders emerged from her plate and were now crawling up her chest and face. None of her slaps and screams stopped the arachnids from stepping over her skin. Now, all eyes were on her and everyone within thirty feet could hear her screams for help. 

Your plan might have been ruined, but Wednesday’s plan was way more satisfying.

You laughed delightedly as the girl squirmed on the floor, a loud, husky laugh coming from your lips that made Wednesday's little smile grow. She watched you attentively as your eyes gleamed because of the scene in front of you.

You were having the time of your life before a voice emerged from behind.

“Y/N.” 

It was Hank. Fuck.

X

“You’re walking on thin ice with the principal, Wednesday.” Hank said from behind his desk, his hands sunk into the wood. “You've already been suspended once, and I’m not sure if you will get away with this little spider show of yours.” Hank stared down at her, who was sitting beside his brother with her typically straight posture. Her hands were on her lap and her knees were knit together, her chin up in defiance. And you were mirroring her posture without even noticing. Hank tried to not gasp at you as he went on. “What was that for, after all?”

“They’ve ruined our correspondence.” She told him coldly. “Now I’m late.”

It was a weird deal they had. Like, Wednesday would only go to Jericho with Hank or then driving his moto. They also shared these secret, encrypted notes in the meantime. Was it a mystery solving competition? And she was now late with the riddles? It sounded like something Hank would do to keep a friend out of trouble. He used to do it with you. 

"Bullshit. You avenged Y/N, didn’t you?” Wednesday shifted slightly on her seat because of Hank’s words. “We’ve talked about this, corbeau, you can’t keep righting wrongs around here.”

Corbeau? Was she a raven? A psychic? Is that why Hank always grits his teeth around her? His curse gets worse around psychics. 

“Then you should perform your function properly and take care of these miserable beings.” You looked at her with widened eyes. “They’re bothering your brother and you did nothing.” Why was she bothered about it? She doesn't even know you. 

“You exhaust me, Wednesday.” Hank sighed, with his slumped shoulders and slow hand gestures accepting the defeat. So…they were friends? Hank has never lost an argument so quickly. 

“Did you know about it, Y/N?” After almost an hour scolding the Addams, he finally turned to you. “Did you plan out this thing together?” 

You shook your head and Hank frowned. Yes, you answered, and you could feel Wednesday's eyes on you. 

You were lying, of course — you had no idea about what she intended to do nor why she did it — but you adored it and you wouldn’t let her be penalized alone.

“So it's decided!” Hank did not seem happy. “You two will assist the school clubs for the next two weeks.” It didn’t sound bad. “And apologize.” Now it sounded horrible.

Wednesday fought back again and their discussion restarted. You didn’t really pay attention to what they were saying — you knew your brother wouldn’t go back. So your fingers went down your jacket as well as your eyes, and you began to twist the buttons of your clothes as the discussion dragged on for another half hour. 

A thud then came from the door behind you and you noticed Hank was gone. In an impulsive movement, you grabbed a paper and a pencil from your brother’s desk as Wednesday headed to the door. 

She was already leaving when you held out the paper for her. Please, turn around, turn around and look at—

“I—” Your voice got stuck in your throat as your mind ran widely in thoughts. What are you supposed to say? Could you say anything to her? What if you got it all wrong and she still wanted to kill you? Did she want to kill you in the first place?

Thankfully, your stutter was enough to make her turn her face toward you and see the paper in your hand. This time, you delivered the message without being crushed or wet.

Your note only said:

'Thank you.'

Then you ran away.

Taglist: @i984 @toournextadventure @cursedchar @aroaceanxietylemon @tundra1029 @efectoangel @sweetaimu @colezb @tnnadia @elduster @rainbowsixreader

[inventedfangirling]

pran-so-cool to pran-so-brave

We all talk about pran so cool to pran in love and yes of course everybody needs to talk about that growth all the time forever and ever cos really it gave us one of the most beautiful and respectful love stories of all time, but i also wanna take a teensy second to talk about how pran so brave too.

Jumping into a body of water to help a drowning person not easy. putting your thoughts and feelings into a song and then singing it out loud, not easy. Confronting years of lying and suppression and hurt, standing up to an overbearing parent is definitely not easy.

Dealing with insecurities, voicing those insecurities, working to overcome those insecurities not easy. confronting your feelings, taking a leap ready to get hurt if that happens, and then deciding to stick through one person no matter the hurdles also farthest from easy. Pran has done so many brave things over the course of his young life but right now i just wanted to focus on what he did in episode 10 in this scene.

Like seriously picture this, you're out with your boyfriend, grocery shopping have a wonderful time teasing and goofing off with each other and then bam, his bitch ass of a dad appears and see's you in a not entirely uncompromising situation.

And then without even thinking of where they are or how they are literally just kids, this man begins to get aggressive with them.

I can't even explain just how triggered this scene or just the gif of it even makes me...that said i need to talk about it because just can't get over the significance of what pran did here.

On paper he is just standing up to defend his boyfriend from an aggressive man but of course in reality he is actually putting himself between a fully grown adult man and his own adult son (who lets not forget is physically stronger than Pran). I need me and you and everybody to process the fact that Pran is at heart (and brain development wise) still very much a child. He is barely 20 and he is gay and he is in public with his boyfriend in a conservative country (i know there is no homophobia in the bb universe but still!)

And suddenly he is outed and then this aggressive loud man who is his boyfriend's dad and his family's sworn enemy comes and starts being aggressive with Pat with whom he has as far as Pran knows had a pretty smooth at least non violent relationship (that we know of) so then do we realize how incredible is it that Pran immediately put himself between Pat and Ming??? Not only is he physically no match for Ming. But in how society would view it, he really had no place there? and because there hasn't been a history of Ming being aggressive with Pat, Pran needn't have done what he did, since in his mind such a grim possibility is not looming large.

And yet the moment he saw that Pat was possibly in danger, that very instant he comes in front of Pat, trying to calm the situation down? I'm just...that's just....so so very brave of him?!! My brain truly cannot comprehend the inexplicable amount of love Pran must have towards Pat to exhibit that level of protectiveness without even taking a second to think of his own safety or anything against Pat's own father??? Pran who hasn't had the best most healthy relationship with his own parents was standing up for Pat against his father!

And then to be shoved aside like that to the side, in such a violent manner, being looked at with so much contempt, with all those people watching. And then going back home to stand up to his mother only to get shouted at and slapped??

And then years of distance and time and growth later, he comes back and he actually brings a gift for that very man who as far as we know didn't even apologise to Pran or Pat for what he did to them there. a man who for years had kept them away from each other, filling ideas of hate into their minds (with ample help from dissaya ofc) and disrespecting and demeaning both of them??

Pran really took all that hate that was directed at him and he returned it in the form of love, he did it for pat's sake, but he did it none the less.

He really embodied "i will be tender hearted despite despite despite" and he did it while he was growing professionally and personally.

I'm sorry but look at that smile???? only the vilest spawn of satan could hate him my heart is about to burst rn.

He fr took some of the sourest lemons life offered him and along with pat turned it into a lemonade so sweet even 20 rewatches can't wash the sweetness off of it and i genuinely can't help but marvel in awe. I seriously need to sit down and think about this for days weeks ever cos really it is just something else. Pran is just something else.

He shows us how we're more than our trauma, how our choices are what define us and that even if it's difficult we can make that journey, and that we can do it with love.

[introspectivememories]

it's late by the time bernard gets home from the grocery store. he takes off his shoes by the shoe rack they he kept by the front door.

"ti-" his voice falters, "i'm home."

tim's not here anymore, remember? you broke up with him.

"shut up." he tells himself. he enters the kitchen and starts putting away the groceries. bernard hums to himself as he works.

tim had loved that about him. you're always humming he used to say like my very own disney princess.

"oh but love grows where my tim goes!" he sings, thinking about all the times he used to serenade tim with this song.

(tim used to blush furiously at the name substitution and then he'd try to sing back and they'd go back and forth singing the song to each other and it didn't matter that both of them could barely sing because they were so in love. they were so in love.

there's a sob building in his throat and he will not cry. he will not.)

the song is building to the climax in his head and he spins around using a leek as a prop microphone when he sees the people sitting their his living room.

"what the fuck!" he screams as throws the leek at them.

the wayne brothers -- all 4 of them duke, dick, jason, and damian --stare back at him unimpressed.

"what the fuck." he repeats when he's calmed down. "why the fuck are you guys lounging around in our. in my living room.?"

damian, predictably reacts first, pulls out a switchblade, and waves it around in what would be a threatening way if it wasn't coming from someone bernard has seen melt at his cow's babies.

"you made drake cry dowd. explain yourself."

"put the knife away, dami." dick says, never taking his eyes off bernard. "what did i tell you about pulling knives on people?"

damian sulks and mutters, "that it's not nice."

there's a hot, vicious, anger brewing in bernard's gut. "what the fuck is this. what did tim send you guys?"

"no, we came on our own accord." duke says

"oh enough of this." jason says, "why'd you break up with the brat? he's at the house fucking ugly crying because of you. you better have a damn good reason."

"because i couldn't do it anymore. now get out of my apartment."

"what does that even mean?" jason says.

bernard inhales for 5 and exhales for 5. "do you know how many dates tim's run out on me in the past 3 months alone? not to mention how many over the course of the past 4 years? do you know how many nights i woke up to his side of the bed empty and cold? do you know how many dates i've been stood up? do you know-"

he cuts himself off.

"drake loves you. is that not enough?" damian says.

"i keep forgetting you're only 14."

"what does that have to do with anything?"

"it means, that no, love is not enough," bernard responds.

"they were family emergencies." duke says quietly.

his fists clench and unclench at his sides. "do you think i'm stupid, signal?" he says quietly.

all 4 of them still.

"you know." dick says

"yes."

"how?"

"it's not that fucking hard. he runs out and then 10 minutes later, red robin's on the scene. once you know that, it wasn't too hard to figure out the rest."

"so then what's the problem?" jason says "you know why he has to keep running out."

"this is why all of you can't keep a relationship," he says.

"he has a duty." dick says, "to the city, to it's people, to-"

"what about to me?" bernard cuts in, "what about his duty to me?"

the anger is bubbling up.

"what about his duty to me?" he says louder, "what about me?"

"kid," jason starts, "you can't expect him to drop every-"

"4 fucking years of this. i figured it out 3 months into our relationship. y'know. and i understood at first. 'oh he's a vigilante. he can't just reveal himself.'"

"so i thought that maybe if i proved myself, that i was trustworthy, that i loved him, that i'd do anything for him, he'd tell me himself. and then a year went by and i thought, 'oh it's just a year. it's probably too new. he can't just tell me." and then the second year and the third year and the fourth year. and then i realized he was just never going to tell me."

"so you're mad cause he didn't tell you he was a vigilante?" duke asks incredulously

"no i'm mad cause he keeps leaving! he keeps fucking leaving. date after date. night after night. and i'm just left to sit at the tv and watch the news reports and pray like i'm some wife from the 40s hoping her husband comes back from the war."

"4 fucking years of you guys just hiding or outright lying about injuries. and maybe it's just me, but i don't think it's selfish to want the man you love to stop going out in spandex to fight crime."

there are tears dripping down his face. he wipes them away angrily.\

"i don't think it's too much to ask to want the man you love to prioritize you instead of fucking mr. freeze."

"i love your brother." bernard ignores the way his throat hurts and his voice cracks and his heart aches, "he is the light of my life. i want to marry him. i want to have children with him. i want to build a life with him but i can't do that if he keeps on leaving."

they're frozen, staring at him.

"am i supposed to be married and live with him making excuses as why he has to leave cause the fucking condiment man decided to terrorize gotham? if we have kids, am i supposed to watch him leave them again and again, cause dr. isley decided gotham looked better if it was a forest?"

he stares at them, "when is he going to stay? when his body is 60 and he can no longer physically fight crime anymore? if we had kids, do you think they'll need a dad 30 years down the line or are they going to need both of their parents?"

"i'm not lois lane." he says quietly, "i can't spend the rest of my life waiting around for him. i can't spend the rest of my life sharing him with the public. i can't spend the rest of my life living off the rare days he decides to come home."

"i love him. i'm in love with timothy jackson drake-wayne. i want to marry him. i want to have children with him. i want to spend the rest of my life with him but as long as he keeps choosing red robin over me, i can't be with him."

[knightsofsomethingorother]

What I like about the Knights: Bedwyr/Bedivere

I have had brainworms about this man since I first read the scene in good old Morte when I was 14 years old where he lied about throwing Excalibur into the lake. TWICE. And he only tosses it in after Arthur straight up threatens to kill him if he tries that shit again. Iconic. As such most of my love for him stems from Malory's interpretation specifically, which is funny because this motherfucker is only in the last few chapters.

To expand a bit on him lying at the end. We don't really know WHY he didn't chuck it. We know he thinks it'd cause problems, but no specifics. Did he want to use it himself? Did he think it'd help the kingdom to keep around? Was it ultimately sentimental? Selfish or selfless? Who knows!

In the older works he pops up in, he notably doesn't have any outstandingly special powers unless you count him being really good with thrusting weapons, which I don't because A) it can be read as him just being really quick and precise (which I personally find a more interesting interpretation, hard work and skill honed over a long time is way cooler than magic), and B) he gets power-creeped hard - and even then most writers either don't know or forget he's really good with swords and spears. My mans had his thunder stolen BAD.

In fact, he was the OG Prettiest Guy Who Isn't Arthur(tm), but then more Prettiest Guys Who Aren't Arthur(tm) kept getting added. So he's, unfortunately, usually shoved into the background unless someone else (usually Kay) drags a spotlight over to him.

Sidenote, I fully believe that Bedwyr and Kay are married. But really I'm just happy any time they appear together. A lot of the time the knights don't really feel like they're even friends in the 'normal human' way instead of the 'operating under 10 layers of chivalry and posturing' way, and at the very least Kay and Bedwyr actually enjoy being around each other.

Also, this motherfucker was there FROM THE BEGINNING (both in-universe and as like... a concept (he predates Jesus by a few hundred years)) and is usually the last guy left alive. But he's never a major player in anything except chucking the sword in a lake at the end. At most he's helping Kay with something or doing his job. A job he did presumably well because he held his position as Marshall for several decades and only lost it because everybody mcfucking bit it all at once.

If you want to look through a metanarrative lens, he's cursed to witness events and never influence them, but he gets one act of agency at the very end, which he gives up out of either fear or loyalty. And his reward is that he's left alone with a flippant order from his king to do whatever he wants. A lifetime of service rendered completely null and void by the complete loss of everything and everybody that he's ever known.. A lifetime of service to a system that was ultimately the root cause of the tragedy. And goddammit that's some spicy stuff to work with.

Anyway, my grand thesis statement is this: He exists in a sweet spot where he'd be an excellent POV and can be built on without in any way upsetting preestablished characterization. He's a relatively normal guy among complete and total freaks of nature (affectionate) who manages to outlive all of them. And the few things that are relatively set-in-stone about him (Close to Kay, only has one hand, there from the beginning, chucks sword into lake) are enough of a foundation to make him really interesting. To summarize:

[shegatsby]

The Last of Us

Warnings; Post apocalyptic world, mention of suicide. Men being predatory.

Words; 1.684K

A/N; Hi guys! I've been watching this show and i loved it so far and i want to take you guys on an adventure! Stay tuned for more. Let me know what you think. :) Smut in the future chapters ;)

TAG LIST IS OPEN!

Summary; Ever since childhood you had to survive, you were born before the disease so you kinda remembered what was it like, to have a hot shower, clean food etc. You didn’t know what happened to your parents because they were on a vacation and left you with your grandma who passed away during the chaos. You were 10 when it happened, a child who had to be a woman over night. What happens when you are a brink from killing yourself and find purpose again?

Chapter One- Introduction

‘’Hi sweet cheeks.’’ Y/N had to raise her head to meet the man who addressed her in a vulgar way, it was a soldier, she remembered him. Every week he would bring his uniform for a fixing up, she was a seamstress, that was her job in today’s new community. Her salary was few pieces of papers and it wasn’t enough, and this soldier knew that. She just smiled as usual, took the FEDRA uniform, it was obvious that he ripped that space on his own just to see her, ‘’Will be ready tomorrow.’’ FEDRA soldiers’ things had to be taken care of quickly, it was an unwritten law. ‘’Are you free after work?’’ he asked as if he had a chance, ‘’No, maybe next time.’’ She didn’t want to piss anyone off so she always refused with politeness. She knew what happens to the girls who make a huge scene, ‘’Hey! We’re waiting here.’’ The man behind the soldier said aggressively, the soldier turned to the man, ‘’You know I could arrest you for that right?’’ it was a rhetorical question, the man behind the soldier didn’t say anything more and the soldier left few papers on the table for her as money and left.

The man approached, she recognized him immediately. Him and few others were doing the hardest task here, cremation of the infected people. One could smell the smoke and burnt flesh every single day, from morning to night. Maybe that was one of the reasons why she was nauseated every time she woke up, the man was middle aged, he had a worn out green button up shirt, blue jeans that looked older than her, he had a scarf on his neck it looked dusty and as soon as she realized it was the ashes of people he didn’t say anything and his big hand went to his neck to remove it and put it in his pocket, they were having a nonverbal conversation, she smiled, saddest smile he had ever seen in his entire life. Joel came to this seamstress often because he had old clothes –as did everyone- and he needed to keep them intact not because she had pretty eyes and a gentle manner. It was a rare thing in these days to talk to someone who is gentle and kind, a thing he missed the most…

He placed his old jeans, they were two. Joel noticed her eyes leaving his warm brown ones and to the soldier who was standing at the door of the building, ‘’Does he bother you?’’ Joel found himself utter the question in his mind out loud. It was too late now, ‘’Why do you ask?’’ she asked, because this world was cruel and these days if someone were to offer help they also expected a favor in return, with men, that favor usually was a private event and she didn’t want that, even though he was attractive…

Y/N took the jeans and looked at the places she had to fix, he shrugged his shoulders, ‘’Just wanted to help.’’

‘’I can hold my own.’’ She placed the jeans carefully at the back, his wandering eyes travelled on her body when she stood up, she had a long dress which covered her body but it was an old dress and it was obvious that she grew into it. He didn’t say anything else just left, didn’t forget to look at the name tag of that soldier.

She was  a hardworking woman and in order to earn her place in this new society she had to work hard. Under the dim yellow light she kept fixing clothes for hours, till her Y/E/C eyes got blurry and weary, till her hands started to shake. It was late night when she lifted her gaze from that middle aged man’s jeans that she was holding, he seemed nice but she wasn’t sure, this world thought her to be cautious. She finished her job and rubbed her eyes, she could hear the speakers saying something about curfew, she had to be quick to go to her home so she placed the clothes back to the dusty shelves, if she had time she was planning to clean the place but she had to be quick right now. She picked up her backpack and left the shop, her hands were shaking when she was locking up the place because she heard nasty things about what happens when FEDRA soldiers take citizens during curfew.

She threw the keys into her backpack and decided to use the back road to go to her home. Her sneakers were comfortable enough to climb the half broken wall, there was no one, and it was dark. The only source of light was the full moon, she knew it was full moon in Leo, things were intense lately because of it. Her mother and grandmother were into astrology and guided her when she was a child and after the world turned into a huge chaos she was managed to find books about astrology, no one needed books other than wiping their asses but she had a deep thirst for knowledge. She placed her feet to climb the wall when she heard two people talking. She stopped in her movements and focused, two men were talking about something… car battery, and drugs… she wasn’t suppose to be here.

She slowly backed away from the wall and turned, too bad her keys in her backpack made sound, ‘’Wait, someone is here.’’ One of the men said and she ran immediately.

The streets were surrounded by the soldiers, she had to run in the shadows, thankfully she got back to her place before someone saw her. She had to lay on the bed which was placed on the wooden floor to calm her racing heart. Everyday was a struggle, lately she got really bored of things, like she was fed up with the treatment she got, her life and the world’s situation. That ran sparked something in her, a curiosity which died during the night. She thought about suicide many times and those thoughts were occurring a lot more than she wanted. How would she do it? She didn’t have access to medicine so going peacefully wasn’t an option, she thought about jumping from her window, she had no gun so shooting herself also wasn’t an option but she had a lot of knives, and those knives were looking at you from the dusty kitchen counter… she had to clean her place soon. She was proud to say that her flat was the cleanest because she liked keeping things organized and shiny, when her neighbors see her cleaning her floors on her knees they silently judge her but she thinks that even if the world has come to an end there must be some rules to keep a civilized society. Her rules were simple;

Number one, be clean and organized. Always know where things are.

Number two, do not engage in any heated arguments. –she saw a man kill his friend because of disagreement.-

Number three, keep it low, do not attract attention.

Number three was hard to keep because she was a beautiful woman, she got attention from everywhere.

It was almost 3 at night and she had to be awake at 6 so she took off her clothes and slept.

Joel Miller had to be careful walking home, even though the deal he made with that soldier kept him some what safe he couldn’t rely on anyone. He reached his house safe and sound, closed the door silently and poured himself a drink. It was hard for him to sleep so he stood in front of his window and looked at the street, the grass was cracking the roads, the street lamps weren’t working for few days and it gave an almost literary view. His weary brown eyes went to across the street where she stayed. The first time he saw her was when she first transferred here, she was from a QZ where collapsed and there were few survivors, he remembered the day, the doors opened for them, Joel was on a lunch break, it was a sunny day. FEDRA checked them to see if they were infected or not. She was so silent, almost not wanting to attract any attention but it was impossible, he heard two soldiers suggesting disgusting things about her. He rolled his eyes in anger, her hands were in front of her, entwined, head low, eyes fixed on the sand ground. After that first day he kept seeing her, walking back home or leaving, helping elderly, he saw her carrying water to their houses. Whenever Joel heard her soft voice he couldn’t believe it, she was so calm and gentle while speaking that it seemed impossible to him, he even paid attention to caught her say something in anger or even curse but she didn’t she either kept the conversation short with those pervert soldiers or just listen to the person who was talking to her.

Sometimes he would see her getting food from cafeteria, he would unconsciously stand close to her and then realize what he was doing and back off, he didn’t know if she noticed or not but he never liked those men talking to her predatory, all these years he had to suppress his emotions down to survive but whenever he saw her there was this pressure on his chest, as if something is pushing his ribs, he didn’t want to dwell on it and focused on his work, the most devastating and saddest job in the new world. He had nightmares every night, nightmares had variety of scenarios but the theme was the same, death. He already lost his precious daughter and now his brother wasn’t returning his calls, he was hoping for the best but the boney grasp of death was on his thick neck, chocking his words.

He had to get out of here and find his brother before it’s too late but the thought of leaving her behind ate him up at night.

Thank you for reading. :)

[mofffun]

Music Collection vol.3 repo

note: i don't know a thing about music somebody please please do a musical analysis of king-ohger some day

There's still no "Mysterious Debut" from ep4!!! Did you guys forget it??!!

1: I didn't even knew i needed the narration bgm but thank you narration bgm. recgonized it immediately.

2: this is my favourite (non-obstructing) version of instrumental Zenryoku King so far

Shugoddom 2 years after: there's still kind of a solem march disciplinary rhythm but it feels more upbeat and cheerful than authoritarian

N'kosopa: my instinct reaction is: freedom. contrary to Shugoddom, i don't hear a single instrument as the melody it feels more background noise in a good sense. As in it suits the environment as opposed to dominating the scene. Maybe you can make a theory about there's no single driving force and N'kosopa is all about community

Ishabana: I don't have much of a reaction to it but i think it's more… subtle? as in v1 was very much announcing Himeno's appearance and you're supposed to fall head over heels for her and v2 is "I'm exerting beauty regardless of your worship"?

Toufu: it's so fun. you know you're in for a ride. wouldn't be out of place if it plays at the mall during new year.

Gokkan: I LOVE YOU. this part brainwashed me back in 27 and i kept thinking if this is the Gokkan theme or the Shugddom theme because they share that orchestral repeat and it plays into Jeramie and Gira transforming (btw Jeramie is not in that medley). In the middle it turned sombre again but the melody comes back on it's like regaining control and the song is proper balanced!

8: i think this is an earlier bgm we don't hear as often now. very comforting while alluring you to a bedtime story. i like the strings 1 minute in

9: YES JERAMIE'S CHOIR DEBUT SONG IS HERE. *blast it at highest volume* love the wind chimes 0:37-0:50 you really need to turn it max to hear, and it stops when the drum starts building tension. there's beats of "8. A story wiped from history" at the end too.

10: i see it… ep26… buganarok national day *wipe tears*

11: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 RITAAAAAAA

12: violin INFERNO!!! i love this one. my strongest impression of it was in ep11 the orphans griefing about Gira. What do you mean it's called "A king's compassion for his peole" 😭😭

13: the! the touching bgm!

15: love Dugded's theme. SW vibes if i say so, knowing Hidetsuna did use SW as an inspiration for chapter 2. strong impact the first time i hear it.

16: i can sing along to this

17: ?… OH "Racles's schemes"!! Hello old friend! Another one to sing along.

(these dug themes are melting together for me…)

20: Does this share some sounds with "18. Uchuuoh's Iron First"???

22: compared with "Assemble! The five kings", I like the ch2 assemble theme is more [穩重]… more mature and grounded. There's still the same insipiring quality but a sense of you can really trust them to take care of everything instead of just raging on an adventure. I guess it's they are working better as like a team.

ringtones:

gira/racles: evil vs hero. will believe racles's ringtone is the official shugoddom anthem.

yanma: THAT'S OUR PREZ! (anything i can say will never be as GOAT as Hidetsuna-san designing a wblue matching ringtone)

himeno: afternoon tea

rita: i hadn't noticed there's a "dun-duh" after the chibi moffun chirps. Rita is always getting calls and always cutting their ringtones short 😂 sorry Rita but gotta say the sharp chirps is not good for my ears

kagu: i almost forgot his bgm is like this 😂 very fitting i guess

jeramie: medieval european bard

out of the 8 the only one i'd consider using is probably jeramie's. and maybe yanma's racles song 😂

now we need a retro rpg with the ringtones as bgm

insert songs:

Pride and Brave: ooh the full song is much better than just the ed segment! something about Takatori-san's voice being nostalgically reassuring. Like the crossover itself, very traditional-flavoured sentai. I always thought of "Waking the King" as an "ura-OP", the OP King-Oh would have if it's born 10 years earlier, and this is the special edition crossover movie dancing ED.

Just we go: This is the "image song" of ch2 so it hasn't been used in the show yet. Contrary to "Waking the King" this feels more like an "ura-ED" but not a dance one, closer to a Rider ED. The lyrics is very affirming of the kings' journey this past (three) year(s) - that i feel like, a message that i receive from the show, is you can always make up for your mistakes and you always have a second chance, and the lyrics is saying that. It maybe the same vague hopeful words but it's about taking everything that happened to you, ackowledged how hard you fought, to protect your home and then facing the future without reservations. cliche of cliche but it works!

I'm still alive: I love this song. I've waited for it since ep 2. TWO. (now it's released the crown of longest-waiting bgm is passed to Mysterious from ep4).

and I feel so sorry and mean if I critique the grammar because the artist and team worked hard on it and musically it's wonderful! The grammar just takes it a little bit out of immersion. Now i'm curious if the lyrics has a japanese blueprint that better convey the message. Reagrdless, it's interesting to think of the english language is part of Yanma's antique/retro hobby. Maybe English is an antiqudated language on Chikyuu so the gramma is odd to modern Chikyuu ears.

[asherloki]

Can I request prompts 10 + 26 from the TS list with BBC Sherlock pleasee?? As fluffy as possible!💜

Rain and sunshine

Bbc Sherlock

A/n :- I'm doing these tropes fic now! Check them out! Here!

it's raining" I heard Sherlock's voice from behind as I stood under the shade of a book store. Yes it was raining and as usual I wasn't carrying an umbrella. I turned to him and replied with a big smile, "hey, what are you doing here?"

He returned a pretty smile back, "was inside this bookstore."

Sherlock and I have become friends since the day I visited my uncle's office, Greg lestrade, to tell him that he was invited to my house that evening, but anderson called me something stupid. He's my uncle's co worker and it was a work place, so I didn't want a scene, so I kept quiet. But then came he, Sherlock and answered anderson on my behalf that he'd never forget. Also after that I helped him with a case that required something to do with magic realism, a literary stuff that Sherlock knew I could help him with. And then we've met here and there and talked in phone, we get along quite well. A little secret between us, he also helps me deduce guys, whom I should date and whom I shouldn't. But strangely he never approved anyone. I didn't think much of it though. Back to the rainy day then.

"Looking for some book on anatomy of a human body?" I asked as he was a man of science I thought this is the appropriate book for him.

"To be honest, I forgot my umbrella so I was wandering around" he said and I couldn't help but giggle. So did he and then we both looked at the sky, there wasn't a sign for the rain to stop any sooner.

"Should we go inside and wander around?" I offered. Having him instead of being there alone was better. He nodded and we entered the book shop. It was such a sight every kind of book was there on the shelves. And the book store even looked quite classy. We both looked for books and I saw a book that I was wanting to buy for a long time,

"Wow it's here? I can't believe it". I exclaimed. Sherlock came closer and asked,

"You're going to buy it?"

"Of course I must ..." I turned the book and saw it was rather expensive for me so I put it back and said, "actually you know what, I have lots of unread books so maybe later." And went to another shelf. Whom was I trying to fool? He deduced what was the reason. As I looked for books, still thinking about the expensive one, I saw Sherlock paying for a book that was inside a brown paperbag.

"You got something?" I asked walking towards him.

"Oh uh... Just um... A book on anatomy." He replied nervously.

"I know, your thing." I replied.

"You got something there?" He asked taking the bag.

"Uh no, there was just a book on dirty pickup lines, I read a few and laughed that's all."

"I know something like that too."

"Do you? Tell one" I urged because I definitely wanted to hear the cold detective doing pickup lines.

"Give me your car keys so I can drive you crazy." He said with a straight face and then we both stared for a long minute before our laughter burst into the bookstore. We laughed and laughed until the receptionist asked us to lower the laughter.

I couldn't help but ask, "you? Where did you learn it?"

"Don't tell anyone but... John's texts to his girlfriends." He replied with a wink.

"You read those?"

"Perhaps."

"That's naughty."

"I know but too funny can't help myself ". He said as we're still trying to control the urge to laugh.

And the rain turned into light drizzle, so we both came out of that bookstore and stood under the shade of it's entrance.

"So I must head over to my home now?" I said .

"Hey um" he hesitated "this book is ... Actually is for you". Said he as held the bag out to me.

"What?"I was rather confused so I looked inside to see it's the same expensive book that I wanted to buy yet I had to put it down.

"It's expensive I can't take it..." I hesitated while he interrupted saying,

"Please, I insist, I'd be delighted if you accept this gift."

What can I say, how could I refuse him? So I took it from his hand.

"Oh Sherlock, thanks".

"You're welcome, and you know what?"

"What?" I stared at him, trying to figure out what his cheeky smile meant.

"Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back."

Again one of those pickup lines and I burst into laughing until he walked towards me and I felt his hand cupping my cheek and lips on mine. I couldn't think anything I kissed him back. I had to stand on my toes to reach a little closer to his height. After the kiss I looked into his eyes. And he in mine.

"Well..." I uttered finally.

"I didn't know John's pickup lines works" he said.

"Well they certainly does." we stood smiling to eachother. The drizzle ceased and a ray of sunlight hit the raindrops. London shone as bright as the sun.

"Tomorrow lunch? At that restaurant ?" He asked pointing to a fancy restaurant next to us".

I looked and nodded "sure".

His phone rang and it was John told him about a case that awaits for him. About a huge amount of stolen money of a millionaire and he suspects his brother. He heard and then hung up on John and said,

"I wanted to walk you home."

"Tomorrow perhaps."

"Tomorrow it is, see you".

"You too and listen save your dirtiest jokes for me you know".

"I will, perhaps John can teach me this time."

then he went to his adventure.

I walked to my home griping the book tightly, blushing all the way to it.

[enigma-the-mysterious]

WIP Wednesday: 9/10/24

Rules

How is it Wednesday already •_• I could swear it was Sunday yesterday. Time? What is time? I have so much backlog help 😭

All recent WIPs from RRR because that's what has consumed my brain.

1. Ram patches Bheem up after the flogging: This is my favourite (and longest!) of all my WIPs and I would love to publish it soon. What it says on the tin. Missing scene. Canon compliant. Hurt, angst and slight (????) comfort.

2. Rambheem first kiss: Tooth rotting fluff. Pining. Slight angst. Chapter 1 is Pre Naatu Naatu. Chapter 2 is post movie. Ram is an oblivious idiot

3. Bheem's thoughts after the betrayal: What it says on the tin. Angst, angst, angst and more angst. There isn't enough Bheem trauma fics in the fandom and I am here to fix that

4. Aftermath of Bheem's arrest: Fucktons of angst and Ram being emo and self destructive as usual

5. Ram's guilt about the flogging: What it says on the tin. Post movie. Angst with comfort

Snippet from WIP 2.

Fire and water were ripped apart. They fought, they bled, they cried. Each carved on the other their deepest and most painful scars.

And then they found their way back to each other. The Empire crumbled under the weight of their renewed bond.

Ram looked at the man beside him, this extraordinary, strong, courageous man, and marvelled.

Bheem glanced at the stars.

"We were here once, remember?" he rumbled. "You showed me the stars."

Ram hummed. "Of course, I do."

How could he forget? Bheem, then Akhtar, lying on the wet grass, his head cradled on Ram's lap as they mapped out the constellations painted on the sky.

Ram did not tell him how it was memories like these, the dreams of a simpler, sweeter time, that had kept his mind from breaking in prison.

No, that was his burden to bear.

"Which one of them is the nearest do you think?" Bheem wondered aloud.

The one beside me.

"The one that shines the brightest," he answered, thinking of the face that had appeared over his cell a night ago, crying into his hand, joining his broken pendant, making Ram whole again.

[darkmatilda]

I just finished alaska nights, and it was taken my number one spot for my favourite one of your fics!! Also, you posted it an hour ago, and I'm already writing this, so I deserve literally deserve a trophy. (I actually haven't been on my phone that much today, so what were the chances that I'd open my phone to a new fic from u immediately after u posted it. Im actually psychic)

1. This might sound odd, but one of the best things about this fic is the pacing/ structure of it. I'm kinda struggling to put it into words, but I think that everything just happened at the perfect speed and in the perfect order. Having everything sort of broken up by each night was really goo

2. The balance of fluff, angst, and smut was perfect. Just enough angst to make me feel something, the right amount of happiness to balance it out and just a bit of smut, but it's cute and spaced out.

3. Ur actually so funny for the some of the lines in here. You write the characters so well

4. "Because after this, I won’t be able to stop thinking about you. And you, after tonight, won’t want me anymore." YOU HAD ME GASPING for air because that was such a quick turn from cute to devastating. But also, he knew the whole situation was going to hurt him, but he wanted her more, and if I'm being completely honest the deranged side of me loves that.

5. Him thinking that she was serious about going aurora hunting is adorable I love him

6.“You don’t have to do anything,” he said softly, finally freeing your legs from both pant legs. His hands wrapped around your ankles, his thumb tracing gentle circles around one of them, which somehow completely seized your attention, and you focused solely on that subtle motion. For a moment, you closed your eyes, and when you opened them again, you noticed that his chin was just above your panty line. "Actually, it will be much more pleasant for you if you just focus on feeling and nothing else. I was supposed to show you my ideas, remember?"

hello my dear finally I found some time to respond to this (after writing 11k words my eyes hurt so much I decided to take a break from the screen) so here we go, but first, let me express my admiration for your constructive criticism skills?? I bet you'd write amazing book/movie reviews, like, you just have such a way with words (meanwhile, when I like something I can only say "OMG THIS IS SO F***ING AWESOME").

1. keeping a proper pace is SUCH a HUGE problem for me because I keep forgetting that I’m writing on tumblr, it’s supposed to be a one-shot, and I shouldn’t drag it out so much. I think I did way better here than in "with the light off," but I still need to work on it 🤧

2. I finally feel comfortable writing angst! so you’ll probably see it more often, though honestly, I still prefer writing post-sex convos over the act itself.

3. I hope that one day I’ll be at least 10% as funny in English as I am in Polish (humble, I know). criminal minds has such amazing characters that you just have to write them (elle, derek, I’m looking at you).

4. I LOVE THIS SCENE!!!! MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE from this fanfiction, I literally kept getting up from my laptop to sit in the chair and calm down, looking something like this:

5. the more I write about spencer reid, the more I crave a guy like him PLEASE, I’LL PAY 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

6. I saw this message before you sent the follow-up with the explanation and genuinely wondered why tf you sent just a smut 😭

then I saw the rest and laughed like crazy, it honestly made my day (as did the whole message and your kind words) so, as usual, love you, have a great day :>>

[narcolini]

for brothers, pt. 3

angel reyes x oc: tatiana ‘pidge’ clarke, hurt/comfort, 2358 words

for day 10 of whumpril : shivers & ‘i’m scared’

a/n: omg i knOW i know. i know i said the last one was just an extra scene/epilogue but now theres another part and kjSHFgj`hfg its fine. its fine. the fic is sentient. thanku to @cositapreciosa for prompting this

tagging: @drabbles-mc @hausofmamadas @darqchilddaydreamz​

Tati’s shaking when she finally finds the courage to knock, stood on Angel’s doorstep at God know’s what time. Not from fear, but from the cold that’s sunk itself beneath her skin, gripped the bones like a vice. She shouldn’t have left without a coat, shouldn’t have abandoned the Jeep three miles down the road. She shouldn’t be doing any of this at all.

He takes a minute to answer. She stares at the chipped paint in front of her, hearing him shuffle behind, before light finally tips out into the night. He’s got the door open just enough to see who it is, and his arm's tucked back behind his shoulder, gun in hand. She knows to expect it.

‘Woah. Shit, Tati.’ He swings the door open, stepping in front of it. He’s half dressed: jeans, a-tank, handgun. ‘You okay?’

‘No, not really,’ she answers, not bothering with pretences. He’s knows her well enough to know she’s not from looks alone. Her teeth are chattering between the words. ‘Can I come in?’

He hesitates, just long enough to make her feel real shitty about herself, real stupid and careless, and selfish for showing up here, for letting her feet carry her here on autopilot, but then he nods. Steps aside. Lets her in without any judgement at all—well, with only a hint of it.

He locks the door behind her, leaves the gun on the side table. ‘You couldn’t call or something?’

She scans the room. Dark, minus a lamp in the corner and the glow from the muted TV. Warm, too. Like he’s had a fire lit, but that’s just her. Just the difference of being in here and not out there, with the cold that’s chilled her so thoroughly. There’s a throw along the floor by the couch, thrown off, no doubt, at her arrival.

‘Were you asleep?’ she asks, forgetting he had wanted an answer out of her first.

‘Nah, I was just… I was up, yeah, watching TV and shit.’

Couldn’t sleep either, then. Probably as worried as she is, though he’d never admit it unless he had to. Unless he was having a fucking panic attack and she just happened to be there when he did. Vulnerability was the one thing that didn’t survive their break-up, a sacrifice that she didn’t used to mind. Now, she wants to ask how his chest feels, how the anxiety sits beneath his ribcage. If it weighs the same as her’s does, if it makes him do dumb shit like walking around in the middle of the night. If it’s even there at all.

‘Sorry, I should’ve called, you’re right.’ She nods, pulling her arms into herself. He may as well know the truth of it, the order of bad decisions that led to her being here. ‘I got, I don’t know, freaked out, and I just had to go for a drive or something. Couldn’t sit inside anymore. But then the jeep reminded me of EZ, and I kept picturing him there, in the back. The blood.’ She gulps. ‘Really fucking crazy shit, man.’

Angel walks past as she explains, then bends to hook the throw with his fingers and bring it up from the floor. Not to put it back on the couch, she realises, but to put it over her shoulders instead. No comment, no disruption to her story. Just the blanket around her, a tight-lipped smile, and then a sigh as he drops into the couch afterwards.

‘I pulled up at a gas station and left it there,’ she continues. ‘Walked around a bit and then, I don’t know. I realised I was walking here and I’d come too far to turn around again, and it was so fucking cold that I just thought—’

‘It’s cool, Tati,’ he interrupts, dragging it out. ‘I’m not mad’

‘But it’s not fair for me to just show up like this.’

‘So? None of anything we’ve seen this week has been fair.’

Not exactly true, though, is it? Because EZ started the shit with Yuma, but she can’t say that to him now.

When she doesn’t reply, he rolls his eyes and gestures to the seat behind her. ‘Will you just sit down, Pidge, we’re past all this shit. You know I’m here for you.’

She does as he says, landing with a thud. ‘Still feel like shit about it, though.’ If she had anyone else to go to, she would, but it’s just him. Especially at this hour.

He laughs, rubbing a palm over his brow. ‘Yeah, likewise. You think it feels good every time I need you for something?’

No, but she doesn’t mind helping. It’s the only thing that brings them together anymore. Besides, he’s yet to show up at her place in the middle of the night, shivering and desperate for it. Who knows how she’d feel then, how disrupted sleep would shape itself in he. She might not be generous at all, if roles were reverse. She might not wrap him in her blanket and let him babble about his night unprovoked.

‘You want a coffee?’ he asks, leaning his elbows on his knees. ‘A sweater?’

She nods. ‘Both would be good.’ She’d never have asked for them herself.

When he’s back, with two coffees and a hoody that smells like him, she’s finally starting to warm up. The extra layers and the caffeine does more than she expected them too. She’s no longer shivering, no longer doubting her right to be here, to come to him, no longer focusing on the tightness of her breath. If it’s not them, it’s him. His company has drawn the chill out and put her head straight again.

He’s sitting opposite her now, looking the same as he had when she arrived. Tired, indifferent, lived-in like she’s seen a thousand times before. If you went back a year, this is how it always was. Angel tired, worn through from the day, and Tati awake, just to be awake with him.

‘You gonna tell me what it is then,’ he says, resting the mug on his thigh. ‘Don’t think I’ve ever seen you worked up enough to go walking round, freezing your ass off. Not since that Potter bullshit, anyway.’

Not since the DEA had a target on Angel’s back and she was helpless to it. Just like now, really. Different shooter, same victim.

‘What’s got you so spooked?’ he asks, insistent on it now, and nudging the hesitance out of her.

‘Honestly,’ she pauses, incase she changes her mind last minute, and tucks the confession back to bed, before deciding, no, fuck it. She is, and she’ll tell him. ‘I’m scared, Angel. Like, really fucking scared.’

He frowns, which isn’t the reaction she was expecting. She didn’t think he’d crumble, obviously, or rush over to comfort her, but she expected more than that at least. More than brows tucked together and a squint like he can’t make her out.

‘The shit with EZ, Yuma. You.’ She forces a breath. ‘It’s freaking me out.’

‘But why?’ he asks. ‘None of this is new to you.’

She scoffs, yeah, that she’s aware of. It’s been years since she had the right to be surprised, or overly concerned, about club business. But this is different. Because they’re different.

‘Before, if something happened to you…’ She puts her hands to her face, fingertips against her temples then combing through her hair. ‘Fuck, I don’t know how to say this without sounding like I’m saying something I’m not.’

His lips pull down around the mouthful of coffee he’s just taken, a grimace, almost, as he swallows. ‘You wanna translate that for me?’ he says afterwards, nervous humour in his voice. ‘The fuck does that mean?’

He expects her to laugh back, probably, to tell him to engage his brain for once, but the words are already fighting through the lump in her throat. Now’s not the time to waste them with jokes, or bickering. Whatever the fuck it is they do now.

‘If something happened to you,’ she explains, slowly, ‘like, right now.’ She gulps, and the more she speaks, the more she’s sure she shouldn’t—but there it goes, out of her lips anyway. ‘I don’t know that I wouldn’t spend my whole life regretting how we left things. How we’re leaving things.’

He looks down, away from her, like the woven rug beneath his feet is calling his name. She carries on like she hasn’t noticed. Don’t read into it, Pidge. It’s too late to go back now.

‘I’m not saying we should get together again. Or assuming you’d even…God. I don’t know.’ It’s not making any more sense now she’s putting it out there, a voice to the thoughts that’ve been tormenting her all week. If anything, it’s just tightening their grip on her, stirring the worry into a real threat. ‘It just feels different now, and it scares me.’

She waits for a nod, a reaction. He doesn’t move.

‘I can’t stop thinking about wasted time,’ she admits.

He snorts then, so sudden that it’s a surprise to both. ‘Wasting what? I see you all the time, Tati. We’re, y’know.’ He shrugs. ‘We’re good.’

‘Are we?’

‘Are we not?’

He isn’t getting it. Or maybe she’s the one not getting it. Maybe the only thing stopping her from saying that she would want to fix things, to get back together, is the self-awareness that she shouldn’t. Can’t. Won’t, until he gives any sign that he’s thinking it too.

‘Let’s just leave it,’ she says, falling into the cushion behind. ‘I’m clearly not thinking straight.’

Clearly, the shock of their rescue mission, of EZ half dead and bloodied, has taken a week to hit her, caught up at last and pushed her off the rails—straight into Angel’s easy-lounger. She doesn’t want to be with him—it doesn’t work, didn’t work—she just can’t face losing him, either. That’s all it is. If the worst happens, she doesn’t want to have forfeited her right to mourn.

Angel sighs, leaning back as she had, in his own seat on the couch. His arm goes up behind his head, face pointed to the ceiling. Thinking, hopefully, running desperate through his rationale the way she is. ‘You know, for once, Pidge, I actually think you should keep talking.’

She snorts. ‘Let me guess, so I can bore you to sleep?’

‘Nah.’ He rocks his head—a shake without any of the effort—and ignores her sarcasm completely. ‘So I can understand,’ he says. ‘You know I don’t think about stuff like this. Just block it out and keep shit moving.’

‘Yeah, maybe I should try that.’ Her method hasn’t helped tonight. It’s only made things worse, made her problem, his. ‘I don’t even know what I’m saying,’ she admits. ‘I’m just so fucking scared of regretting things. I don’t want to regret this,’ she points between him and herself, though he isn’t watching, ‘but I know that we don’t work.’

There’s a mark still, invisible but printed around them both. They had gotten worse and worse; bickering, arguing, fighting until they hated each other. It’s been six months now, and it only just starting to fade. Only loosening enough for moments like these.

‘Well, you must know something I don’t,’ he jokes, ‘cause I’m really not seeing the problem.’

‘Yuma,’ she stresses. ‘That shit isn’t just gonna go away, Angel.’

‘Not that part. The you fucking regretting this, part.’ He looks up at last, head lifting from the back of the couch to catch her gaze. ‘Does it look like I’m going anywhere? Shit, does it look like I want you to either? Whatever we got going on, it’s as much as a relationship as it was before.’

‘Angel.’

‘I’m serious.’ A smile creeps onto his features, eyes alight with the joke before he’s even said it. ‘You think I have time to get another girl while you’re still all up in my shit?’

Tati laughs, against her will, but it helps. ‘Asshole.’

‘Like, you really are cramping my style, Pidge.’

‘Okay, stop it. I’m fragile.’ But smiling, somehow, and then the laugh drops into a sigh, and the point of it—the actual point of what he said—comes back like a freight train. He’s not going anywhere. He doesn’t want her to either, regardless of where things stand.

‘Fuck,’ she breathes. He’s made her cry, somehow, but she can lie to herself and say that it’s not him, it’s the night she’s had. It’s the Jeep at the gas station, it’s the blanket round her shoulders and the almost-dead, almost-brother, and not Angel, that’s brought the wet to her eyes. ‘God, I hate this. ’

There’s a gap beside him on the couch, under his bent elbow, and he invites her to it, flicking his chin. ‘Come here,’ he says, soft, familiar. Too late into the night to care about their boundaries. ‘Gonna make me fucking depressed, watching you cry and shit.’

She snorts, standing and bringing her bundle of comforts with her. ‘That was my plan all along,’ she replies, barely managing the sarcasm. ‘Gotta drag you down with me.’

‘Yeah, real sweet.’

His arm drops as she does, settling around her shoulders, as she settles around him. Cheek to his chest, arm threaded between his waist and the cushions. As normal as it used to be. One thing less to regret.

‘You wanna crash here?’ he asks, thumb smoothing over her arm. ‘I’ll take the couch. Drop you back at your car in the morning.’

She should say no, but there are worse things she could do. And he’s warm, warmer than she has been all night, hot beneath her like he’s running a fever.

‘Are you sure?’

He tuts. ‘Man, if you make me beg, I’m taking it back. You can walk your ass right back to where you came from, Tatiana.’

‘Alright,’ she laughs, ‘fine. Thank-you. I’ll take it.’

There are worse things she can do, there are worse things that could happen.

>>> bonus scene