#i did this instead of writing the actual chapter yes. thank you. for your feedback

[faebriel]

a tier list honeyblock fics as ranked from serving least cunt to most cunt

suck eggs my dude - it's good i do like this fic and all it's just not lifechanging or anything. it used to be my most hits fic for a reason (wide interest base but still an easy read) and that's okay

i think that you're worth keeping around - huntlow is cute

one will die before he gets there - it's a missing scene. it's good. bound by the constraints of canon but good

how does summer end? - i should rewrite this as an actual short story or something bc 8k just isn't cutting it but it's already way longer than it really should have been. but i still like the vibes

a monster's here (are you still in there?) - the lack of luz centric hollow mind fics is a scourge upon tumblr's trending tags of early 2023. i'm doing my part.gif

you're the fool i'm just as well - yeah nice. thumbs up. sick pearlo is fun

they say we are asleep until we fall in love - well this one is a wip currently so. anyway the fairytale vibes are key but i think i'll only know if they were pulled off right when i reread the whole fic after i'm done. could bump up another two slots if so

castling kingside - vibes! vibes. first foray into cquirkyduo nonsense

it's called freefall (let me show you how) - ok i wouldn't necessarily call this one a Cunt Serve except for the last scene. except the impact of that last scene is contingent on the 11k that came before it. you get me

sacred and dust (the rest of us) - ok this is my fic with the most hits ever and it's about two minor characters in a childrens tv show that at the time had a collective like 4 mins of screentime. and some people said they cried over it. cunt serve

all's well that ends - i've said this fic better achieves what i set out to do with cause most of us are bitter but that fic is my super special baby so it barely scrapes in afterwards. anyway another case of a lot of people said they cried. idk if it counts as a cunt serve because it's such a bummer but genuinely this is one of my highest quality fics imo besides the typos so cool

cause most of us are bitter over someone - i peaked at the dinner argument scene and have been chasing that high ever since. cunt serve

and you caused it - okay biased but the underground city getting fucked up beyond belief and niki having a screaming crying breakdown that effectively halts her misery-spiral-attempt at what she thinks is a redemption arc so badly that tommy has to get techno to do a welfare check on her is a concept that deserved a Full fic written about it. oops.

you think they'll make it? - showstopping. why write a whole hadestown au when i could just write this scene? doesn't overstay its welcome and hits the exact vibes i wanted. RIP hellhound fungi you didn't deserve that but i enjoyed writing it

rousseau's man in the state of nature - YES i'm biased bc it's my baby but this fic has no reason to exist and does anyway. i had to ban myself from listening to loscamp while writing my research paper bc otherwise i would have had to submit three freaks bitching at each other and having horrible friendship breakdowns to the australian journal of yadda yah. act 2 is calling me

writers block this writers block that. is there anything worse than writing something and thinking to yourself, this does not serve cunt

[sashi-ya]

𝑻𝑶 𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑨𝑳 𝑨 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑹𝑻. Trafalgar Law x F! Reader

🌨 a/n: so I recently been to Austria, a country I often visit since it's literally like a dream. (plus, my mom knew she was pregnant with me there, so I was used to come back to Innsbruck as much as I could with her). But in any case I got inspired there to write this little fic, that might -or not- be a multi chapter one if you all like it. The place exists and the scam part, happened to me -kinda, the airbnb existed, but not as it was listed :P- but in any case, please enjoy and don't forget to leave some feedback if you want more~ ❄ tw: a very sfw story, that might evolve into something else if you want me to keep writing about their trip 😏 ☃ wc: 2.6k

Hijacking for the first time, what could go wrong? Maybe everything, maybe nothing.

A two-month long trip all around Europe has found you on a little village of Austria. Your boots are cold, but luckily they are snow proof ones. Your skin all bumpy, your cheeks irritated. It’s been snowing all night, and despite the sun rising for now, some clouds in the sky menace with more white blessing to fall upon your shoulders very soon.

Those little mountain streets around the Alps are wonderful, they surround mountains going up and down and in a spiral way. But those are wonderful, as long as you can drive a car with heating. And you don’t have one right now.

The crunchy sound of the snow beneath your boots mix with the melody of a glacial river running in between the mountain and the road. It is certainly beautiful, the little rocks and stones being bathed by such pure and cold water, the rests of dry leaves and some moss growing on an everlasting shadow casted by tall, enormous peaks.  Everything is worth taking a picture, but you should prioritize your battery life this time around. The GPS is sometimes wonky, being that high can affect the service.

Many cars have passed by, but none of them have stopped. Little lorries carrying logs pass, cars completely drenched in dirty snow and that mix of salt that roads have during winters.

However, just when your hopes for finding someone to at least give you a ride to the next village were about to run out, the yellow shine of an old VW ban flashes before your eyes.

There, behind a curve -a very dangerous one if you ever went to the mountains- something smells like smoke and a tall man of white furry hat swears up to the skies.

You walk towards him, carefully. Who knows what is happening? Who knows who that man is capable of? There is one thing you are sure, however, and it is that this man is absolutely mad at his old van.

When peaking behind a dark wooden tree that’s now covered in spots of white snow, you discover the annoyed man is a young -handsome- one.

His van, a little rusty but still cute, seems to be having problems to keep going and the smoke coming from it shows it very well.

“Sir? Sir! Your van is catching fire!” you announce, realizing the smoke is indeed a very serious issue.

The guy of chocolate skin and tattooed hands turns around to look immediately at you and then to the back of the van. Those 70’s vehicles had actually their engines right in the back instead of the front.

And Indeed, you were right. Apparently the climb had been too tough for the poor old VW and its engine couldn’t take it any longer.

He quickly opens the back door, maybe searching for a fire extinguisher while you grab fistfuls of snow in an attempt to put down the incipient flames. Quickly enough, and with not many damages to count, the fire stops, and the only thing left is a big black spot on the back of the caravan.

“Thank you” he says, as dry as hopefully your socks. “No problem. What happened? Did the engine over heat?” you ask, curious despite his “I don’t want friends” face. “Yes; these hills are no joke. This never happened to my Polar, but there is always a first time…” he sighs, assessing the damage with a sad expression.

Apparently his van has a name; “Polar”. That’s very cute, and his eyes too. A golden shine in them looks even beautiful with the pristine white around. His tattoos do as well. You wonder about his name, and what is he doing on the road, but you are not sure if it’s proper to ask. However, he asks first.

“What are you doing here? do you have a car?” he mumbles, his voice is as attractive as he is. His eyes scan the place, but nothing catches his attention.

“No, I am actually hijacking. No one stopped so I started walking before the sun starts going down. I definitely got scammed; the Airbnb I was supposed to stay in didn’t, in fact, exist.

He grunts, almost silently. Apparently he is not happy with what happened to you but that’s it.

“Well, that’s so unsafe. I am sorry I can’t give you a ride right now. Apparently none of us have been blessed with good luck today” he says, walking around his vehicle with long legs covered in spotted jeans.

You nod. Your tongue is aching to ask about him, but you clearly catch the hint… he doesn’t want you there.

“Yep. Well, I wish you luck! I must keep going” “Same to you, be careful”

He doesn’t even look at you, something that makes you -somehow- very sad. In any case, you start walking away. There is no point in staying there… even if you have great mechanical skills that could help.

And as you do, you also have a very, very loud consciousness voice screaming at you on how could you leave him with no solution if you know it…

“Sir, you should check your water level…”  you shout, a few meters away from him. The sound of your voice echoes in the huge natural immensity of the Alps and his golden eyes finally fall upon you.

He stops moving for some seconds, lost in you. You, as well, wait for him to say something else. Something like “stay with me” or “don’t go”. A total stranger you want to hang up with. A total unknown woman he wants to protect.

“You know how to fix this?” “I do…”

Or so that was what you thought.  

No more than a couple of minutes took you to help him out. VW vans are noble machines; they are durable and easy to fix despite their particular design. And soon, as a part of your payment, the man that you learned is called Law and you drove away through intricate roads and huge snowflakes.

“Where are you going, (Name)-ya?” he asks, handing you an old cover from an old comic, Germa 66.

“I was supposed to stay for a couple of days in Bad Goisern, and then I thought of visiting Salzburg. I am on a long trip through Europe. What about you?”  you ask, cuddling with the blanket. A certain blessing for your freezing hands.

He nods, checking the breaks before going down the hill.

“I am too. I just graduated medical school and I thought of taking a little vacation before my residency starts. I’m going to be a surgeon. A cardiac surgeon” he tells, full of dreams he fails to cover up behind a tough guy expression.

You celebrate his success, and the next couple of hours become a ping pong of questions and answers. A smile on your face that leaves your cheeks hurting accompanies you until the sun hides and the little lights on the mountains start to scatter.

You didn’t want to go down in the first village, nor the second, nor the third. Law, didn’t want you to go down his van either. You named Salzburg, and he promised you to take you there.

But the night found both of you, and apparently your mechanical skills weren’t as good as you thought the would… Polar decided to stop, in the middle of nowhere during a dark, very dark winter night.

You close your eyes as the sound of rusty gears fail and Law’s annoyance grows stronger than ever. When Polar finally loses all of the power, Law manages to agonizingly park on the side of the road and a huge sighs escapes his lips.

You peak through your left eye; his DEATH tattooed fingers squeeze the wheel, and you know he will snap at any moment. But he doesn’t…

“I’m sorry. I thought- I-“ you try to give a plausible apologize, even though you had nothing to do with it.

“No. It is not your fault… it is mine- As we didn’t stop, I have completely forgotten to fuel Polar up” Law says, absolutely mortified for such stupid mistake. Apparently you were enough distraction to keep him from the basics of road tripping.

You breath alleviated and try to stop your upcoming laughter. Your grimacing did nothing to hide it, and a big burst of laughter took over the van and everything around.

Law looks at you pissed, but a soft smirk garnishes his lips. You can’t stop, perhaps it isn’t that funny… but you feel so happy right now. And you have no idea why, since you are literally stranded in a very dark wood with temperatures below 0C and snow pooling on top of that van.

“Welp, it’s ok. We should wait until tomorrow, then” you say, knowing the risks. “You- you prefer spending the night in here? aren’t you afraid of dying?” he asks, surprised.

“I am, in fact, scared of dying. That’s why I know very well I can’t walk during a snowstorm in the middle of the night in the Alps. Plus, you are too sweet to be considered a threat” you joke, searching for some chocolate inside your backpack.

Law narrows his eyes, deepening his frown. Apparently being called “sweet” and “not a threat” is not something he enjoys.

“I could cut you open and took all of your organs out during the night” he says, serious as hell. “Go for it. Don’t forget to steal my heart, doctor” you laugh, taking your jacket off.

Law is flabbergasted; he has never confronted someone like you before… but he is beginning to like it now.

A bar of chocolate that you had kept in your backpack for too long lays too close to his nose. You shake it, offering its sweetness to him.

He takes it but doesn’t eat it. Instead, his hand gets pressed against the window behind you. Law has pinned you against the door of your side. He is not a very muscular man, but he is indeed very tall and lean… if he wanted, he could do anything to you.

Your eyes widen, big as the moon. You swallow, thinking maybe walking through the forest might be a safer option.

“L-Law… I- didn’t mean to-“ you tremble, asking yourself where did you put the Victorinox blade you bought in Switzerland… it should be enough to defend yourself, right?

You notice his chest is also tattooed as his clothes open just a little. His arms, are too. His scent, despite the danger, smells deliciously tempting…

“Don’t trust strangers that easily, (Name)-ya” he whispers, a few centimetres from your lips. Letting you go after and biting the chocolate bar as if nothing has just happened.

You remain there, frozen up with your eyes widen and your lips softly trembling. He is, in fact, very right. Law is indeed a stranger, after all.

When oxygen finally begins to reach your lungs and brain again, you move and blink the dry eyes away. Silently you sit back, properly. You aren’t able to say anything, somehow you have run out of words.

You squeeze the blanket he gave you, covering you as much as you could, making yourself as tiny as possible on that old leather seat.

“Are you ok?” he asks, so nonchalantly.

“Ye-yes, I’m… ok” you mumble back, almost sticking yourself to the passenger door. “Is it ok if I go to sleep? I’m tired”

Law nods, confused. Maybe he was just joking around, but it did scare you big time. He goes down the van and opens the back doors. You look at him disappearing in the darkness until a very little glimpse of silver light coming from the moon filters through the doors.

But, soon after, fairy lights illuminate the back allowing you to discover a very cozy space behind the front seats.

“I am glad I installed this independently from the fuel tank. I have a little power generator for the back. It’s not a hotel bed, but it does the job” he says, showing you a precarious mattress covering the entire floor of the vehicle.

You smile softly, it looks cozy and pretty. The walls are full of random posters and maps, and there is even an old picture of a younger Law with three more guys wearing fancy hats with something written in the snow. You take a closer look at it, to discover it says, “Pirates of Heart” and you giggle. What a peculiar gang name.

“Law, this is really cute. You even have a lot of blankets and cushions!” you chime, easing a little bit.

“My best friend Bepo decorated it for me, I only helped him with the lights” he says, a little embarrassed.

You jump right back, leaving your backpack in the front seat and forgetting everything for the moment. What a reckless lover girl.

“I am going to sleep in the front seat, don’t worry. Use as many blankets as you need” he informs you, closing the back doors and leaving you there. You most probably were to say “no, stay here” but you simply couldn’t.

After all, this tattooed doctor is a gentleman. Right?

You let yourself rest for a bit on that improvised bed, with your sight blurring while looking at the fairy lights. The scent of the blankets and pillows is the same as him, something you secretly enjoy without even knowing. You catch a glimpse of the reflection of him sitting in the front through the back windows, at how he takes his hat off revealing a dark shade of onyx spiky hair.

For the next half an hour, or maybe less, you both become silent. The only sounds are the huge slaps of snow falling from the sky against the van and the subtle whistle of the wind filtering through the doors.

It is cold, but it’s probably colder in the front as Law is only using his Germa 66 blanket to cover up…

“Law? Are you awake?” you ask, shyly.

“Mh? Yes... why?” he asks back, with not much emotion but a soft tremble on his voice. He is probably cold, very cold.

“I feel bad for you; you must be freezing. There is plenty of room back here, you could sleep here. It’s ok with me” you say, taking advantage of not being in front of him.

Law takes a few minutes to move, but he ultimately does. He hops to where you are and sits there crossing his long legs. He is not wearing his black leather boots, so you can see Sora’s socks.

“Cool socks” you say, sitting right in front of him watching his cheeks go blushed. “Here, cover up. You are freezing, doc”

Both of you cover up with heavy blankets and fall into the mattress at the same time, facing each other.

Maybe, it is too strong to deny it. The attraction is natural, and you both can’t stop it… Exactly like the wind and cold reaching your skins.

“I am still cold” you mumble.

“I read in one of my books that the best way to keep the warmth of our bodies is to share it… skin to skin” he whispers, unable to take his eyes away from your lips.

“Is that so?” you breathe, coming closer to his embrace, allowing his arms to surround your frame and your hips to join with the other’s.

His forehead slowly touches yours, the bridge of your noses do as well. Your fingers, playfully but slowly, crawl to the crook of his neck. While his, squeeze your waist with delicate dominance. A leg that snake into the other’s, crossing, tangling…

Lips coming closer, so close. Breaths warming up, going faster and bumpy. Hearts that indeed had been stolen, the first kiss of two strangers, meeting for the very first time like two snowflakes join while falling from an endless sky

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤWill they continue their journey together? 🦢

[green-thots]

Life Waster - CL16 x FemDriver!Reader - Chapter One

Masterlist Next

Authors Note: This took me absolutely forever because I spent more time thinking and watching edits of Charles on TikTok than I did doing actual writing. There’s probably a lot of typos and grammar mistakes so just ignore that. Additionally, any feedback is much appreciated!

Warnings: Swearing, slight mention of death, mentions of weed, if I missed any please tell me

—

A Grammy and Rock Sound feature was always the goal, but shit happens I guess. Life was great, we were selling out stadiums and on the verge of our first world tour; then he died and everything fell apart. Formula 1 was always Dad’s dream, not mine, but I think a piece of me died along with him, and I threw myself into racing to fill the JJ-sized hole in my heart. All I was left with was a hard drive of the songs we had written over the years and a letter telling me to go kick some ass. I dove headfirst into the depths of uncertainty and somehow still made it out on top.

“Ms. L/N, we’re here.” The driver calls from the front seat, looking at me in skepticism through the rear view mirror.

I mutter in thanks as I open the car door and step out toward the doors of the front office, backpack in tow. The only directions left for me in the email were to head to the front office in the morning and someone would guide me from there. There’s a lady at the desk with black glasses perched atop her nose as she tapped away at her computer. She barely acknowledges me at first, but after a few seconds of standing there, she looks up at me.

”Oh, hello,” She says with a kind smile, “What can I help you with?”

“Uh, I’m Y/N L/N. I was told that someone would meet me at the front office.” I naw the inside of my cheek, slightly terrified at the new environment.

”Oh, yes. We’ve been expecting you,” If possible, her smile grows wider and she picks up the receiver of the phone, beginning to dial a number, “I’ll call down and let Mr. Horner know that you’ve arrived.”

We sit in a comfortable silence for a few moments, before she starts to speak into the phone. “Hi, Christian. Ms. L/N is down at the office.” She pauses while the other person on the phone speaks. “Okay, thank you, buh-bye.”

”April is on her way down to get you and give you a tour,” she says, her French accent much more prominent than it was before. “In the meantime, I’ll get you all set up.”

She digs around below her desk for a moment, before finally popping up and setting a keycard on a red lanyard with the words ‘driver’s pass’ on the desk in front of me. “This is your temporary pass, you’ll get a new one with your picture on it after media and such is done, but for now this is going to get you wherever you need to go on the property.”

“Thank you,” I say with a nod, as a tall girl in a Red Bull Racing jacket walks through the door to the right.

The lady at the desk smiles at the other girl and says, “I’m Susie and I’ll always be here for whatever you need. Trust me, those boys can be a handful.”

I force a smile at her, praying it looks genuine enough because I knew what kind of shit storm I was walking into and still signed the contract anyway, like an idiot.

The tall girl holds out her hand to me and says, “Lovely to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you.” She talks fast and barely gives herself a second to breathe before continuing. “I’m April, and I’ll be your personal trainer, assistant, therapist, honestly just whatever you might need while you’re here with the Red Bull teams.”

There’s a hint of humor to her voice so I try to let out a laugh, but it’s hard when I’ve spent the last year or so wallowing in self pity.

“I know this whole experience is much different than F2 and I hate to rush you while you take it in but we do have to get started with the tour so you can meet Mr. Horner before he leaves for his debrief.” April says, grabbing her own pass off her neck, which instead says ‘staff’ and turns toward the door she came through before.

“If I would have known I was meeting important people today I would have worn something nicer than a hoodie.” I grumble to myself.

April must have heard me because she wiggles her finger at me with a smirk on her face and says, “You’re funny, I like you.”

We walk in silence out into the parking lot between the front building and the massive team building. April asks, “Do you have a car over here yet?”

”No, I haven’t really got around to that yet.” I reply, taking in the view of all the sports cars lined up that probably cost more than the house I grew up in each.

“Oh, well when you do, this is driver parking. Most guys tend to keep a car at their homes here rather than taking a cab since it’s a lot of back and forth.” She gestures to all of the cars parked in front of their respective sections. “The guard over at the side gate will buzz you in 24/7 if you just show him your pass.”

“Good to know.” I say as we walk up to the two glass doors with the Red Bull logo painted above.

The opening lounge is small, but still gives a feeling of comfort, rather than sterile like the front office. There are trophies lining the shelves on the walls and two World Champion trophies are held in a glass case front and center.

“Your home base is actually in the Alpha Tauri section next door but the team is meeting here for the sake of simplicity.” April says, throwing a smile at me over her shoulder as she turns left down the hallway.

She stops at a door labeled ‘boardroom’ and winks at me saying, “They aren’t as scary as they seem.”

Well that’s comforting.

April knocks twice and opens the door to reveal to reveal four guys seated around the table; two of which dressed head to toe in Red Bull gear as if they just stepped out of a commercial, one of which in a full suit, and the shortest one dressed as if he had just woken from a nap.

“Mr. Horner, this is Y/N.” April says, gesturing to me as I step into the room behind her. I’ve never met Christian Horner outside of a five minute phone call but I can only assume who he is as the man in the suit stands up and holds out his hand to me.

”Y/N L/N, it's so great to finally meet you in person.” Christian says, shaking my hand. “Unfortunately I do have to get going because the engineers can get quite pissy when things are behind schedule, but I suppose you know all about that from Formula 2, right?”

”Yeah, my team had quite the attitude.” I say, trying to sound funny but somehow sounding like the uptight bitches I used to race with back in F3.

“Anyways,” he says, still keeping up his diplomatic smile. “Boys, this is Y/N L/N, the new driver for Alpha Tauri. I’ll let you all introduce yourselves.”

Christian excuses himself and heads out the door, leaving me with April, who is still somewhat of a stranger, and the three men who I have only ever seen on TV.

The first guy stands up and gives me a smile that could light up even the darkest of rooms, “I’m Daniel Riccardo, I actually drive for Red Bull but we’ll probably still see a lot of each other.” He points at the guy next to him and continues. “Mr. Two Time World Champ over here is Max Verstappen, I assume you know who he drives for.”

Max nods at me and says, “Welcome to the team, Y/N.” His Dutch accent very prominent.

Finally, Daniel turns to the guy at the end of the table, “Last but certainly not least, the little firecracker over there is Yuki Tsunoda.”

Yuki rolls his eyes at the nickname and starts, “Hey, I’ll be driving on Alpha Tauri with you.”

”Firecracker as in his favorite English word is fuck and he sure knows how to use it,” April chimes in, a near permanent smile stuck to her face.

Yuki smiles and laughs quietly as Max says, “I trust April will get you all ready for media day tomorrow.”

”I was really hoping I was done with photoshoots but I guess even a change in career didn’t help with that.” I say, still not fully believing that this wasn’t a dream and I’m actually in Formula 1.

“Well, we better continue with our tour and let the boys get back to whatever work I know they are trying to avoid.” April says, eyeing Daniel with a knowing look as she opens the door to the hall.

“See y’all tomorrow,” I say, looking back at the group of guys staring at me. I then follow April out the door, a chorus of goodbyes yelled behind me.

April leads me back outside and then through the glass doors to the Alpha Tauri section. She finally stops once we reach a door that had already been labeled with my last name.

”This is your drivers room,” She says, opening the door to a plain room with a couch and a small vanity, “Feel free to decorate however you see fit.”

I can already visualize my plans for the room; some scenic pictures to hang on the walls, a few comfy blankets to throw on the couch for naps in between meetings, and maybe a cute rug to cover up the concrete floor.

April gestures to the closet next to the vanity, “Your fireproofs, suit, helmet, and any other gear you may have ordered are in the closet.”

Set on the vanity is a vase of flowers with a card tucked under the vase. I step over and pick up the card, carefully tearing open the envelope, and reading it. Inside are the words, ‘Welcome to The Grid, Y/N’ and it seems to have been signed by every driver on The Grid.

”I think they’re trying to make a good impression on the first female competitor they’ve seen in a long time; you might even be the first for the newer ones.” April says, looking over my shoulder.

“Well it takes a lot more to impress me than flowers, I mean even my freshman prom date bought me flowers.” I say, laughing at their attempt to soften me up.

”Your garage is right down the hall and it's labeled so you’ll be able to find it easily. Sadly, we can’t go in today, but you’ll get to see the car on Wednesday when you meet your engineer and we start the first round of pre-season practices.” April says, leaning up against the closet, “You’ll have to be ready to go for media in the main building with all your gear tomorrow at 1:00 but feel free to get ready here.”

”Well at least I’ll get to sleep off some of this jet lag,” I joke.

”That’s the spirit, take every moment you get to sleep, it’ll help.” April says, rubbing her hands together as she continues, “Now, we go meet the Athletic Trainer for a pee test and your first physical.”

Well I guess that means no more pot for me.

-

I flop face first down onto my bed, well if it can really be considered a bed. Right now I’m just sleeping on a mattress on the floor of my apartment. I haven’t had the time or energy to unpack so everything is just sitting around in boxes, and the furniture I did buy, has yet to be built or unboxed.

My physical lasted much longer than I had anticipated; the strength testing and medical assessments taking up much of the rest of the day. The six hour time difference is really beginning to take a toll on me and I am nearly asleep when my phone buzzes next to me.

Dad: Your mom showed up at my doorstep, screaming that you were nowhere to be found. Care to explain?

Fuck that. I’ll deal with him in the morning.

-

As I stand before the mirror, dressed in my race suit with my hair loosely curled and my makeup freshly done, I have to take slow, deep breaths to keep my heart from beating out of my chest. All eyes are going to be on me today because the first woman on The Grid in nearly ten years is sure to be a spectacle for the other drivers and staff. I should be used to having people stare at me. Hell, I spent years performing on stage in front of massive crowds. But my ‘fall from grace’ as the Rock world has dubbed it, has caused me to hate the constant stares of others. Formula 1 might not have been the best choice of career, but I need to take back the piece of my childhood that I cherished dearly.

My phone dings from its place on the vanity;

April: We’re nearly ready to start shooting, so get over here as soon as you can :)

If these guys have managed to find anything about who I was years ago, I’m sure their opinions of me are already set in stone, but I still can’t let holding up the order of business lead them to think I’m inconsiderate to everyone else’s schedule.

I speed-walk my way out of the Alpha Tauri building and over to the main building, carrying my helmet just in case I need it for a photo.

When I enter the room where the cameras were being set up, all the drivers were huddled around in little circles. The lively colors of each team’s uniform were intermixed, showing that they all must get along well. If they don’t like me, it seems that I’ll be spending the majority of the next year alone.

With the spectacular luck that life has given me, the door is extremely squeaky, causing everyone to look up at me. Immediately, Max waves me over to the group he was standing with.

Hesitantly, I walk over and the tall blonde guy in the Mercedes uniform eyes me with a smile.

”Well you look scared shitless,” He says, the slightly devious but still kind smirk present on his face.

”Don’t be a dick, George,” The French one next to him says as he elbows George in the stomach, “I’m Pierre. Don’t mind him, he’s always like that.”

”Hey, I’m not that bad,” George throws back, giving Pierre a slight shove. The other guys laugh at their antics, so I force out a little laugh.

I barely get another second to listen to their introductions before a staff member calls out, “L/N, you’re up first! Tsunoda, you’re on deck!” I send an awkward wave to the group as I walk over to where the cameras are set up.

”Alright, we’ll need you to fill out the first day of F1 board.” The staff member says, passing a chalkboard to me.

I begin to fill it out.

Name: Well that’s easy.

Season: #1

I Am From: Miami, FL

My Fave Food Is: Mac & Cheese

My Hype Song Is:…

I’m tempted to put one of my songs here, but I think I’ll make them work harder to discover that piece of me.

My Hype Song Is: Gimme Gimme Gimme - Abba

This Year I Will: Kick ass.

I stand in front of the camera as the photographer snaps a few photos of me with the board. Again, everyone in the room is staring at me.

”Hey Logan, we found you a Floridian!” George calls out in the direction of the blonde in the Williams Racing suit.

Tall blonde- who must be Logan- gives me a bright smile and calls out, “we gotta represent, girly!”

I actually let out a laugh at this as a staff member takes the board from me and sets me up for the headshots. Not knowing what the usual protocol for Formula 1 headshots is, I give the camera a light smile.

I can feel someone staring at me intently, as if they look hard enough they could see the deepest parts of my soul. When I look over to the area behind the camera where all the drivers are standing around, I immediately see Mr. Laser Eyes.

He’s partly concealed by the shadows but his dark eyes still bare into my soul. His hair is a dark and curly mess, like he’s just gotten out of bed; but damn does he make bedhead look good. He’s dressed in an almost too tight Ferrari suit. He towers over Tsunoda, but that isn’t too hard to achieve.

We hold eye contact for a few seconds; it's almost magnetic, before he shifts his eyes back to the conversation he was having with Pierre and George.

“Okay, that’s all we needed,” The photographer says, motioning me off the stool as he calls for Tsunoda.

I walk back over to Pierre, George, and the Ferrari driver who had been staring at me. Immediately, he looks me up and down with a smirk before saying, “Good choice of music, rookie.”

My face heats up, and I’m sure I look like a walking tomato. “Yeah, Momma Mia is my favorite musical.” I say quietly.

George and Pierre start snickering to themselves quietly as the Ferrari driver says, “I’m Charles Leclerc.”

Even his accent is fucking sexy.

“Y/N L/N.” I reply.

”Don’t worry, everyone knows your name already.” Charles says with a little laugh. This puts a look of fear and shock on my face.

”In two weeks time, everyone in the world is going to know your name.” George says, throwing his arm over my shoulder.

”Yeah that makes me feel a lot better, thanks Princess.” I spit back sarcastically, using the well-known nickname the media has given George in recent years. Pierre cackles hysterically, so much so that he struggles to catch his breath.

After a bit of throwing sarcastic insults back-and-forth with George, and him taking his turn for headshots, individual pictures are complete.

“Wait, we have to get a group picture of this years’ rookies!” Max calls, a devious smile on his face as he looks in my direction. I roll my eyes as I walk over in front of the camera and am joined by Logan and the blonde McLaren driver.

“I’m Oscar,” the McLaren driver says and he and Logan stand on either side of me. We put our arms around each other's shoulders “to show unity” as the photographer told us. The three of us gave bright smiles to the camera, trying to show that Formula 1 isn’t as scary as it seems when in reality, all of us are terrified to step out onto that track for the first time.

“Alright, lets get all of the drivers out here now.” The photographer says after snapping. Few photos of Logan, Oscar, and I. Immediately, the staff get to work on moving a bunch of prop boxes out into the studio as all the drivers flood the area. I’m directed by the photographer to sit on the tallest box, which I do have to get a running start to jump up on, and lean back on my hands with my legs crossed.

After a few moments of getting everyone else into position, the photographer finally gives us the signal to get our game faces on. Noticing that no one else is smiling at the camera, I tilt my head back a bit and glare at the camera. Although I am the highest up and the farthest back, I’m sure you will still be able to pick up my noticeable annoyance by looking at me in the photo.

“Everyone is free to go!” A lady, who I’m assuming is the head of media, yelled into the crowd of drivers. As everyone disperses, I’m speed walking to the door as to get out of there as quickly as possible, when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I whip around to see George, Pierre, Oscar, Logan, and a few other drivers I haven’t formally met yet.

George looks at me with puppy eyes as he says, “We’re going out to get drinks, do you want to come with?”

They’re all staring at me intently, waiting for my reply.

”I can’t. I actually haven’t even unpacked my stuff yet and the furniture for my apartment hasn’t been built yet so I better get on that.” I say, avoiding eye contact so I don’t have to see the disappointed looks on their faces.

”What if we help you unpack?” The British, curly-haired boy asks, before saying with a wink. “Lando Norris, at your service. Do you have booze?”

I freeze up, not expecting them to want to change their plans to hang out with me so soon after meeting them. “I mean I guess, but my fridge is completely empty, so no booze.”

”Eh, we’ll just make Max pick some up on his way,” Lando says, waving it off while George yells, “Fuck yeah, party time!” Leading the entire room to burst into laugher.

Well, this is either going to end in losing my security deposit or getting so drunk that I won’t remember what embarrassing shit I’m sure to do by tomorrow morning.

[toddistyping]

hi todd(can I call you that?

I read your construct a summer home yesterday. And I just want to say it is really a great story! Love how you subtly depicted Vince’s insecurities and sentiments and his interactions with Adam and Ryker. The abundance of details made it so alive and intriguing. I think this fic of yours opens a potential perspective for me to think about his injury. He must have been suffering during the past few weeks. And I really hate that.

Also, I noticed that in this story you’ve written, Adam hasn’t told Vince why he didn’t call to ask Vince about his injury and I wonder why. Is it because he think calling Vince will “scare him” just like you mentioned when they first confronted each other in Vince’s house? Did his other teammates or friends not call him also because they presumed that Vince would find it “offensive”? Not receiving a call from Adam, who is practically his best friend, certainly made Vince more melancholic.

I wept yesterday reading that part in which he felt so abandoned and alone in his new house and no one reached out to him. Your way of narrating the intricacies of Vince’s struggles, happiness, excitement, and loneliness is beautifully subtle and I think you should be proud of yourself! Thank you so much for taking the time to write and share this beautiful story. I will read it again and again. Waiting for your updates.

Many hugs :)

oh my god I have a whole long reply to this and I think tumblr ate it instead of posting it

anyway

hi hi hi omg thank you for the ask hi

1) thank you thank you thank you

2) yes you can call me Todd that’s my name 🥰

3) let me rant about this

So basically Adam explains to Vince that he was worried that if he randomly texted Vince and said “where are you I need to see you” Vince would power off his phone and hide- which is kinda valid

none of Vince’s teammates know how bad his injuries are. They think that if they were really that bad Vince would’ve been reaching out himself. Vince thinks that if any of his teammates cared they would reach out first.

Adam specifically thinks that’s Vince would’ve mentioned something by now even if just to have someone to complain to

So it’s this whole endless feedback loop of everyone thinking “he would text me first right?” And Garth is the only one who bothers to actually reach out first and then spam if he doesn’t get an answer.

So everyone thinks Vince is fine and living laugh and is happy and healthy and that’s why he’s not texting them - but in reality he’s laying face down on his bedroom floor because his leg gave out and his phone is still on the bed

as for all the background characters (the people who work for the team, Vince’s family, any other friends Vince might have, etc.) they all think that Vince obviously is friends with enough guys on the team that he doesn’t need to be bothering them asking them out to dinner and asking them to come over and that he doesn’t actually want them over

And then there is Adam and Ryker who can and will uproot their lives just to make sure someone is there to eat dinner with Vince once they find out how bad it is

also idk if you noticed it but in multiple chapters someone texts Vince first and he ignores them. in my mind Connor mcdavid is texting every couple days like “dude you alive” but in a 10x more autistic way and Vince swipes the notification away without thinking about it and texts Garth instead.

because Vince is mentally ill so logic doesn’t apply here

thank youuuuu

[lila-lou]

I loooooved this new chapter, it’s always so fun when more other people are thrown into the mix. But I gotta say, I’m kinda getting more and more sad for the reader 🥺

Like, I know the situation is complicated and everything but it feels a bit like it’s always her having the short end of the stick? She’s always the one that has to be understanding and okay with everything. And it’s just like the little things? Like Jensen could’ve put on the ring in the car instead of right in front of her. But he did that and just tells her that’s how it has to be. And then after the convention, he doesn’t even make sure she gets home safe and just kinda left her on her own to get home and idk it just makes me feel a bit sad for her 🥺

I hope Jensen actually puts in effort to further their relationship and puts in effort to work this situation out. Of course it’s hard with divorce stuff, especially with kids around too. But jeez man just get a good damn lawyer and do something about it!

But I still love this chapter, grumpy Misha is funny! It’s gonna be hilarious once he eventually finds out lol

Can’t wait for more! This is one of my absolute favourite series!! :)

First of all, thank you very much for your feedback! I'm always really excited about feedback, especially when it's so detailed!

I'm totally with you. I understand you 100%. But honestly, most men don't think that far 😂 sad but true. I actually try to package the story (of course everything is just fiction) as realistically and logically as possible. Although I also have to say that I write Jensen definitely nicer and more sensitive than I think of him 😂 I think that guy can be a real asshole and is absolutely not as emotional as I'm trying to make him seem here.

Back to the point, well "close to reality": let's assume it were true, I think the whole thing would be sooo much more complicated and difficult for "the new girl". I actually have to stop myself again and again and remind myself: come on, this is supposed to be a romantic story with a touch of drama and not the other way around 😂

So far, just a little glimpse into my head 😅.

But, for a “simple reader POV”: fuck, absolutely! He should get a fucking lawyer and leave his shitty wife. The reader is already having to endure a lot and it's only going to get worse, so yes, believe me, I feel sorry for her too. (The ring scene stung 🥲) Oh, and the scene with misha finding out is one of my favorites 🙈 just because of the little glimpse of Jensens feelings about that 😂.

There will be a lot more situations where I would like to take Y/N in my arms while beating up Jensen 😂.

Thank you soooo much🩷

I hope you’ll keep enjoying the story 🩷

[bardofavon]

Hi Meg!

I read your post about comments (finally), and you did not dissapoint at all!

I've been on ao3 for almost five years now, three with an account, and I've related so hard with your post.

To be honest, I've never had the experience of some author call me rude before, but even then, there's always this anxiety present whenever I comment with an unknown author for the first time. It's as you said, very hard to phrase every comment so that it can't be missinterpreted, especially since, in my case, I'm a very abrasive person, and often agressive when fond of somebody.

It's true that some people just post their works in ao3 for themselves, I've encountered a few so far, but in those cases they stated their stance on comments since the beggining (one of them hated having to answear comments), so I never had a problem with that, nor did the other readers.

Even then, I always make a point of (idk if that's how you say it in english but-) commenting in works I like with few to zero comments, and the positive feedback i get from them is honestly so endearing. I comment more in small, less known works, rather than large, widely known, or simply complete works, because they rarely get to the author.

That's why commenting in your work is something I love so much. It's not rare for me to get incredibly attached to my favourite authors, and so far, I've managed to befriend almost all of you. Plus, even if I don't comment anything very coherent you always answear with some juicy insight of the chapter, and reading your response to other comments is always such a reward (giggling manically as you uncover little details of your train of thought).

Anyways, the last chapter was great, and yes, I did get some rest. Gotta go back to planning cities tho. (I'm in the verge of throwing the geo exam out of the window to read the inspired works of your works)

See ya soon dearest <333

HEEELLLLOOOOOO THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

you know i always have opinions and you know i will always be sharing them very loudly. I'm honestly glad you haven't had the experience of an ao3 author calling you rude because some of the notes on that post of experiences people have had make me sad, and your comments are always so kind and thoughtful. i think of how much i would miss out on if someone misinterpreted you in a way that made you feel like you didn't want to comment anymore. THEN WHAT WOULD I DO???

but yeah, crafting a comment should NOT be as hard as actually writing a story. you should be able to send your thoughts to me unfiltered without having to overanalyze your phrasing in every little bit of it to make sure i won't take it weird. the moment commenting starts to feel like a chore instead of a gift is the moment there's a problem.

in a similar vein, i LOOOVVVEEE responding to comments. it's like a little treat for me after a long day. sometimes i enjoy responding to comments as much as i enjoy writing the actual fic (so the mindset of 'i hate having to respond to comments' is so weird to me lol) AND YOU GET FRIENDS OUT OF IT!!! I GET PEOPLE TO BOOP!!! i treat the comments section as like, director dvd commentary. i can share things that wouldn't have come up in the text bc of the pov but that i still want people to know, i can clarify things, etc. it's rewarding!!! and i love that people read my comments to other people, too, it's just another reason why it's worth it to keep doing that.

ANYWAY get back to planning cities!!!!!!! take your geo exam!! be responsible!! i'm proud of you!

[cescalr]

hello dearest! <3 for the ask game:

how does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

How long is your longest fic?

What order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

Hey mate <3

1; So, as someone who is currently studying creative writing at university, the lack of community.... I guess, response fanfic tends to get these days (beyond a very appreciated Loved this!!!!!11!1!1 which of course <3 thank you random commenter person. but also. what about it did you love.) isn't as - er, frustrating as it could otherwise be, since I get feedback on my writing from professional academics on assignments and such. Basicaly - I actually really miss FFN calling it 'reviews' instead of comments, because that encouraged people to actually... tell me things. And not just spam letters. And i love the letter spamming! keysmashes are nice :) But i always remember the comments that talk about the fic more than the ones that just flatter me. Like, yes, flattery will get you quite far opposed to popular aphorisms, but er I'd also like to know if my sentence structure flows nicely. That would be useful. I like getting feedback as much as support, the lack of the former can be a bit awkward though because it means I don't know what I need to change to improve my work. As someone who wants to storytell just like, in general, outside of fanfic, that's kind of important! Support is great. Love support. Would also love feedback if people were willing to give it <3.

Oh!!!!!!!! Oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay. So. I don't know if saying you and viv would be cheating or not (or count as nepotism? hey besties <3 <3 <3 hehe) sooooo you guys are honourable mentions <3 but okay, so - in absolutely no particular order, and nowhere near all the people i could rec;

Ꝥ. esama | Archive of Our Own !!! hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 281 works of impeccable quality and substantial wordcount, you'd be remiss in saying Esama was anything but prolific, especially given those cover roughly 66 fandoms, give or take Ao3's consideration of things like Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts as separate media franchises......... hmmm. Anyway. Really really great author. Go check out their works!! trust me. They'll have at least 1 thing you'll enjoy. My personal favourites are all assassins creed fics, but they have hp and mcu fics, too bestie so yk. Specifically i recommend Wizards IN SPACE - I mean, it is quite literally called Wizards. IN SPACE. what is not to love about that premise? The writing is A* tier, to boot. <3 esama is basically the reason I write fanfic. Give 'em a look-see; they're also here on tumblr, as @/esamastation :). Good to give a follow - they're much more consistent at posting when they make new fic/chapters on their tumblr than I've ever been on mine, lol.

Ƿ. For someone else who is also here on tumblr (and may or may not count as nepotism. I don't actually know the definition of nepotism. Hi tumblr mutual of mine, lol!) Is freddieslater | Archive of Our Own. I will read almost anything they write for fandoms I know, and have read things for fandoms I don't know one even small thing about just because they wrote it. RJ's style is just superb, and their ability to write fic you can completely understand even if you don't know the fandom is really grand. Good glee & TVD fic is hard to find, lemme tell ya that right now, and theirs is superb! Remus is also here on tumblr, under the same username :). Hence. You know. Being mutuals and all.

Ł. This is a curveball. Something to throw you off your game. I'm going to recommend an FFN author who only recently migrated to Ao3 that writes solely SI fics. Yeah. That's what I'm doing. Some of the first fics I remember fully reading all the way through were this guy's work, so I think it's only fair to give him a shout. Soleneus | FanFiction. I haven't read all his fics for reasons that should make themselves... very clear upon looking at his account, but the fics I have read, namely the Fallout and Mass Effect series plus the Worm fic (a franchise i actually know nothing about; some kind of grimdark superhero thing I think - prior knowledge was not stated as necessary, and I read way too much fic for things I've never seen. Bestie why am I telling you this like you don't already know that?) are genuinely really well done series and some of the best examples of how to get an SI/OC fic to work without being all mary sue and shit. [or marty stu, in this case, I suppose?]. I'm going to be frank and say not every rec for an author I give recs all their works - I'd avoid his HP stuff because his view on the series is diametrically opposed to mine, for example. But that doesn't mean that what is there isn't worth at least a gander. I'm of a mind that you should give fic a chance even if the summary or whatever sounds strange; this might come from the fact I first started reading fic on things like FFN and Twisting The Hellmouth, which didn't have filterable tags and people would just straight up lie in the four-characters-allowed-here section so more people would find their fic, so.... I've ended up reading a lot of stuff I wouldn't recommend. But you find things that come from a different perspective than your own to a franchise you love, and that can be interesting! My views on the worlds of ME and Fallout are vastly different from his, but his fics for them are far better than anything I could ever write for them. His worldbuilding is seriously solid stuff, and honestly his characters are pretty good. SIs get a bad rep, I think, because of things like the shitty reincarnated as harry potter or whatever and just be an asshole for 40 chapters trope, but it can be done properly, and Sol achieves that. I really enjoyed the Fallout and Mass Effect series when I read them, 'bout... half a decade ago lmao, but still - those would be the ones I'd say to take a look-see at.

3. Hm. I actually think it would be in that order; Characters drive the story for me. Their emotions and thoughts and things all drive the action - but, then, that's just standard story structure (according to my Novel module lecturer, anyway). My style specifically is.... interrogative? I like Putting People In Situations and Making Them Do Bad Things For Fun And Profit [Angsty Entertainment]. I can go chapters without dialogue, though I love writing it, because writing gives you the unique ability to see right into the character's thoughts, unlike in things like film where that's more difficult (or awkward - just look at the narrated version of Blade Runner, lmao). You can, I guess, wallow. My writing style is brooding alksdjf;alskdfj;alskdfj; god. I can't escape the vampire allegations /joke. Er. Hm. I like fun things :) Like making my blorbos suffer :) But they'll be happy in the end so it's okay :). Also - I write romance, sure, but I tend to use romance as a way to look into the characters involved. It's sort of more a tool than the main draw, which is why my steo never gets anywhere close to dating alsdkjf;alksdfj;asdf oh well.

4. My longest fic is For What It's Worth. This should not be a surprise, given it's a rewrite of HP5 -> 7. It is currently 91 ,527k, with the wip next (and fucking final, jeez) chapter has about 3, 517k words atm, but that's nowhere near how many it's going to have. Harry's not even left Privet Drive yet! It's still early summer!! Also, If you count the side stories, 100, 576k is the wordcount for the series - so that boosts the collective count to 104,093. So. This fic is long enough on it's own, but it's over 100k when the in-continuity and arguably-part-of-the-fic side stories are included. Oof. (Nowhere near all that long a fic in comparison to many of the things I read, though. Read a 2 mil word star wars fic once. Very good fic! I don't remember what it's called.)

5. I write in the order I write; sometimes I write chronologically, start of fic to end of fic. Sometimes I write a scene and then find where It goes much later on - that happened in Keeping This; the fic got piecemealed together over a course of. A While. And one of the scenes sort of... towards the middle? I wrote way before it showed up. You can see this in my Journey Across the Dimensions WIP ficlet collection fic (that i really should separate out and make an actual series, instead of one of those fuckawful fic collection fics. I am the problem). But most fics I just write in order. FWIW's first two chapters - 32k words before the edit, down to 29k - were done in a single session on one Sunday. Like, 10am to 4pm or something like that. I don't remember that was in 2018!!! I can't remember that far back!!!! I have the brain of a forgetful goldfish!!! A sieve a cat got it's claws on!!!

Thanks for the ask bestie <3 <3 <3

[doublel27]

Fic Origin Story

Many thanks to @reyesstrand and @marwani-strickland for the tag. Did I think villain origin story when I read it? Yes. Is my life as a fic writer villanous? IDK.

What was your first fandom (reading or writing)?

My first fandom was General Hospital. I began reading and writing fic in that fandom circa 1999-2001 So, you know, before some of y'all were born. It's fine. I'm fine. You're fine.

It was back in the days that you had to join like an EzBoard to post and share fic. yes I'm old. And, and, like a lot of EzBoards were specific to your pairing of choice (I was a member of several) and you had to actual pass a quiz to get inside the ezboard to prove you were a fan of said pairing because antis would infiltrate and sow chaos. Flame wars were a thing and such. I learned so much in those days. I still had dial-up and my chapters were super short. I saved my fic to floppy disks, so...you know...it was a time.

2. What was the first story you ever wrote (even if it was never posted) and what made you write it?

The FIRST story I ever wrote, that I remember, as a fanfic was probably a Little Women fix it fic where Laurie and Jo got married instead of Laurie and Amy and Jo and Professor Behr at like, ten years old. I wrote it one of those hardcover blank books you could buy. I have since reconsidered my position after learning more about Louisa May Alcott and WHY she made the choices she made.

The first story I ever published as a fandom fic was a Jason/Robin sweeping get back together story in the General Hospital fandom (have they been together since 1998 - no, do I think it's one of the biggest mistakes the show has ever made - maybe). Robin was still in Paris and I think she maybe had a secret baby. There were kidnappings, shootings, and many other things that fit a daytime soap fic written by a high schooler in the margins of her notebooks.

I think it's still on floppy disks in my parent's house.

3. What's a pice of advice you would give to your younger fic writing self?

Care less about what other people are doing. Care more about how you treat others. Constructive critism is a gift, take it as it's meant and have your friends read your work and tell you that you NEED A PERIOD or DO YOU KNOW WHAT COMMAS ARE or YOU'VE USED THIS WORD THREE TIMES THIS PAGE or MORE FEELINGS HERE PLEASE or I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS. They make your writing better.

4. What is an early fandom interaction that has stuck with you (be it a nice comment, a friend you made, a fic that got a lot of feedback)

Oh man, there's so many. Some are wonderful, like the reactions to every chapter I posted of those early fics.

Some are things I learned the hard way, like being a teenager who made friends with another teenager and some women in their 20s and 30s and one of them was very much a bully who had us turn on one of the friends we had by telling lies and got us to harrass her. I learned a lot about how to trust people online and how to spot people who might tell lies to play people on the interent like puppets for their own power. It makes it far easier to spot now that I'm old. Also, I remember how very compassionate the woman we harrassed, my friend Dani, was, and she was a little bit younger than I am now. and How she really accepted our apology, told us how much we hurt her, and allowed the two children she'd befriended to do better when they figured out how they'd been played. I hope to have half her grace as a fandom old these days.

5. What is a sentence or two from one of your older fics and a sentence or two from a newer one (if you want)?

For y'all, let's do 3. The first from around 20 years ago, then we'll grab something from 10 years ago, and something from now? Sound good? You do know that by now you're getting more than a sentence or two from me. From Choices - a fanfiction following X2/X3 movie verse -posted on Fanfiction.net on June 1, 2003.

Jubliee stared at the young man across from her. There was something so familiar about this one, something she couldn't put her finger on just yet. Then it hit her, "St. John?" The spark in his eyes, the fire that matched his talent was unmistakable. No wonder the armored car was burning at such a rapid pace.

From Ruined - A Legend of Korra fanfic centered on the breakup of Tenzin and Lin Beifong posted on AO3 on January 5, 2014

He’d asked her to move with him to Air Temple Island and she’d laughed.  Thinking on it now, the sound of it was harsh and cruel to her own ears. 

“Why,” she’d laughed, “when you have all of your Air groupies?”

He’d sighed and steepled his fingers in that serious thinking pose he had. “They’re not groupies, Lin,” he had reproved her. “They are people who have been keeping my father’s culture alive for the better part of a century and they are continuing to sustain it.  What if—” A sadness had entered his eyes.  “I could be the last one, Lin.  There might never be another.”

“Tenzin—”  She couldn’t have brought herself to lie and say that she would ensure that he wouldn’t be.   Lin wouldn’t even suggest that Bumi could miraculously have an illegitimate child that was an airbender out somewhere.   “Then come here.  Live in the city.  You already work here and we could find a good space for Oogi.”

“I want to marry you Lin,” he had said, quietly. 

Lin had looked up from her paperwork and given him a pointed glance.  “Does that marriage include children?”

“I am the last living airbender, Lin,” Tenzin reminded her. “I do want children one day.”

From let me be the one at day's end - a 911 Lone Star (more cow eyes series) fic posted on AO3 on June 30, 2022

Carlos snaps off the radio, unwilling to listen to the continued banter as they joke about this. There’s too many containers of flammable gas in the back of a bus to make light of a bullet ricocheting in there. He pulls out his phone before looking at his mother in the seat beside him. Her brown eyes are wide and worried and he can’t look at them for too long.

When he looks back down at his phone he realizes his hand is shaking. “I’m just—He’s on a shift and he probably can’t pick up—”

And from a personal favorite, You Can Have My Back - a Schitt's Creek Twylexis 911 AU posted on AO3 on October 14, 2022

Alexis looks over the turnouts, which happen to be an unfortunate combination of khaki and orange. The fabric is rough and heavy, which makes sense for protecting one's body from a fire, but there are plenty of fire-resistant clothes that aren’t these ancient heavy things. “Don’t they have, umm, like those cuter black and yellow numbers that are a little thinner?”

“Beggars can’t be choosers, princess. Does this department look like it’s made of money?” Ronnie takes a moment to wink at her. “Besides, orange is the new pink.”

“Mmm, totally,” Alexis murmurs.

Ronnie narrows her eyes, and jerks her thumb at the gear. “You know how to put this on in time?”

Being underestimated is something Alexis is well used to. In fact, being underestimated has saved her life countless times where people thought she was too stupid or too thoughtless or too pretty to know her way around a gun or a fancy car or out of a pair of handcuffs. Normally it didn’t sting.

She pulls herself up to full height and sniffs. “I passed the volunteer qualifications exam, didn’t I?”

Tagging: @marjansmarwani @petalwritesx @blackandwhiteandrose @missgeevious @sunshinestrand @strandnreyes @lilythesilly @maxbegone @tailoredshirt @beautifulhigh

Feel free not to, friends, but I'm curious.

[myherowritings]

PART 2. LOVE IS FAKE, MARRY A WEALTHY SUITOR

SUMMARY. Todoroki Shouto was a wealthy, young CEO who inherited his father’s enterprise. You were a barista at a local cafe who wouldn’t mind some extra cash. One day, Shouto came in during an early morning shift and tipped you such a large sum of money, you were certain it had to have been an accident. To your surprise and complete pleasure: It was not.

PAIRING. ceo!todoroki shouto x barista!reader

WORD COUNT. 2.5k

GENRE. ceo/barista au, fluff, eventual smut

WARNINGS. none in this chapter

A/N. thank u guys for all the positive feedback on this series so far and i really hope u enjoy this chapter too ! ^-^ xx sof

SERIES MASTERLIST

© myherowritings — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, copying, or translating of any kind is not allowed. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize.

It seemed your subtle pleas to the gods to see the mysterious businessman again had been answered, since only the day after Shouto gave you a $100 tip, you saw him at the cafe. 

You looked to the skies with a hint of suspicion. This seemed too easy— You were expecting at least a few weeks of your heart pining as you wondered where-oh-where your dreamy customer could have gone. But instead, after a mere 24 hours later, you saw him enter the store in a pair of pressed trousers and a light blue, button up shirt that was rolled just below his elbows. 

Blinking, you drew your attention away from his exposed forearms. You knew he was attractive from your first encounter, but was he always this hot? 

Sadly, you couldn’t focus too much on that since he had to get behind the line and obstruct himself from your view, and you had to take the order of the next customer. 

“Hi! I can take the next person in line.” You smiled. “Good morning! What can I get started for you today?”

After repeating that five or so more times and starting a few drinks on hot bar, you finally reached Shouto’s place and, thankfully, there didn’t seem to be too many patrons piling behind him. 

“Good morning, Shouto!” you greeted when he stepped forward to the counter. “How are you this morning?”

“Better now that I saw you.” 

Your smile faltered as your cheeks heated up, but you tried to brush it off with a laugh. While Shouto had the definite looks of a so-called businessman playboy, his words held none of the flirtatious intonation as one might expect. In fact, he sounded like he genuinely meant it— Like he was only stating a simple fact and had no reason to be shameful. 

It felt both like an attack on your heart and like a refreshing glass of water at the same time. 

“How about you?” he continued. 

“I could say the same thing,” you said with a chuckle, but you found yourself meaning everything you told him. Though you didn’t expect to see him again at the cafe so soon, you couldn’t deny the instant he walked through the doors, your morning felt just a little bit brighter. “Didn’t think I’d see you again so soon, but this is a pleasant surprise.” 

Shouto had the decency to look a little bashful as he averted his gaze slightly. “Yeah. I…really liked the...cheese danishes.” 

Surprised, a small giggle left your lips. “Don’t tell me you finished all three dozen of them!”

“Well…” He looked even more sheepish. “I didn’t exactly… I guess you could say that.” 

“I’m glad you liked them so much you came back for more,” you teased, looking down at the pastries from the oven you just stocked. “Sadly, our fresh pastry today is a chocolate croissant. I can tell my manager to have cheese danishes made again soon though!”

He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll try the chocolate croissants today then. Maybe five dozen this time.” 

Five multiplied by twelve… A whole 60 chocolate croissants? Were they all for him? You shrugged, not one to judge. If someone wanted to eat 60 croissants, so be it. Though you did hope he wouldn’t eat it all in one sitting. That might give him a stomachache. 

“Alrighty, five dozen chocolate croissants,” you repeated as you typed it into the register. “And would you like any beverages with that? Another flat white maybe?” 

“Actually, I’ll have a large macchiato with two extra shots of espresso this time.” 

You nodded with a hum. “Long day ahead?” 

“Unfortunately.” 

“I hope the coffee and croissants can carry you through, Shouto!” you said, wishing his day would go by smoothly. “Will that be all for you today?”

“Thank you, Y/N. I hope so too. And yes, that’s it.”

“Great. $73.24 is your total then! Will you be paying in card again?” 

He nodded. 

“Go ahead and scan and sign when you’re ready.”

You busied yourself by writing his name and order on a large cup and starting the espresso pulls. Your manager was helping get the pastries and other orders ready this morning, so it was nowhere near as hectic as yesterday. 

“Your order will be to your right. It was nice seeing you again, Shouto.” You smiled, giving him a small wave and already wishing you could hold the line up to talk to him longer. “See you tomorrow morning?” you asked almost hesitantly.

He returned your smile with upturned lips of his own. “Yeah. Tomorrow.” Before he left the counter, he pulled out another $100 bill—did he go to a dry cleaners to have his cash steamed and ironed? It was almost ridiculously crisp—and handed it to you. “A tip to show my appreciation for your service.”

“A-Again?” you stammered, eyes wide. That was $200 in two days from just his tip alone. That was more than you made in two weeks when you worked part-time! “Are you sure?”

Whether he had money to spare or not, this was incredibly generous of him and you would never have expected this amount from anyone. And it wasn’t like Shouto made it a scene for everyone in the shop to look at and gawk; he was subtle yet unashamed. Like he wanted to do it for no other reason than to do it. 

“Of course. You deserve it for your work, Y/N.”

The customer behind him made an impatient noise and you winced. You wanted to be able to thank him more, but all you had time for was a simple, “Thank you, I really appreciate it.”

Shouto nodded in response before walking to the other side of the cafe to wait for his order while you managed the other customers in line, a fuzzy but warm feeling lingering in your stomach from your bizarre interaction. Money or not, you enjoyed seeing him in the mornings and were already looking forward to your brief conversations that would take place the next days to come.

He certainly gave you something to look forward to amidst the inconsiderate customers who barely saw you as human every morning. Sometimes, that was all you could ask for. 

When Shouto left the store and the line had died down towards the end of rush hour, your manager approached you with a curious look on her face. 

“That guy named Shouto…?” Miyazaki said. 

You nodded. 

“A friend of yours?”

“You could say that… We just met yesterday’s morning shift,” you said as you finished up the green tea latte for one of the remaining stragglers from the last hour’s boom. “But he’s really friendly I think.”

“You only recently became associated?” she asked, lifting a brow. “It seemed like you two were quite chummy today.” Then, nudged your side. “He was rather attractive don’t you think? And rich-looking.”

Fumbling with the lid on the beverage, you stifled a surprised cough. Sure, you got along with your boss and thought she was one of the more understanding and kind individuals you have worked under, but gossiping about the looks and potential income of a customer with your 56-year-old manager was not on your bingo sheet as a worker here.

“I…” You called out the order for the latte before turning back to your manager. “He is.”

“Ooh, he’s rich?”

“I meant he’s attractive!” you sputtered, feeling abashed at her blunt words. You thought of the tip he gave you in your pocket and his orders of dozens of pastries. “Rich…maybe so. Not that it matters!” 

Miyazaki tsked. “Of course it matters! Marry rich and your life will be easier. That’s what my mother told me and what her mother told her.” She shook her head. “Should’ve listened.” 

You laughed, feeling only a little awkward. It wasn’t the first time you heard that sentiment from someone older than you. It wasn’t uncommon for family members or even workers you were close to to share that same advice—if you could even call it that.

While you agreed money could make a lot of things easier, marrying someone for wealth didn’t appeal to you. But you recognized that even that may come from a place of privilege to be able to say. 

“He seems like a wealthy suitor for you, yes?”

“Suitor—?” you choked out. “No! I mean— We just met! We don’t know anything about each other really.”

She sighed, “Young people and their obsession with marrying someone they ‘know’ for true love. When do you really know someone anyway?” Waving a hand she changed the topic. “But enough of that. What I wanted to say was next time that man comes in here, we can offer him a complimentary box of a dozen pastries— Since he’s spent so much in so little it feels like the right thing to do.”

“Sure. A complimentary dozen.” Finally. Work. A topic you felt much more comfortable talking about. “That, I can do.” 

“And then maybe offer a hand in marriage while you’re at it.”

“Mrs. Miyazaki!” you gasped, feeling only mildly affronted. 

“I joke.” She ruffled her hair and smoothed down her apron. “I’m going to make more pastries now. Can you hold up the front?” 

“You can count on me.”

“I know I can. Thanks for your hard work!” 

And with that, she headed to the backroom where the kitchen was to leave you alone with your thoughts in a quiet cafe. Rush hour ended so there were only a few customers trickling in, most much kinder and more pleasant to talk to than the bustling businessmen of the earlier shift. 

Throughout your small conversations with the patrons, you found yourself thinking back to two things— One, how interesting traditional values and teachings in collectivist cultures were and questioning where you fell into place with them, and two…wondering about Shouto. 

Tomorrow, he had said before he left. You’d see him again tomorrow. 

Oddly enough, you were looking forward to it more than you’d like to admit. 

— ✩ —

It was the fifth day of the week, the fifth time he had seen you at the cafe, and he was already tempted to see you again. Would it be invasive to get another pastry after work? Would you even be there working at that hour?

Shouto saw you this morning (along with all the other mornings before that) and yet he couldn’t quell the pull he felt towards you with only the short interaction time you had together. But he would take what he could get without being weird. 

He had been told in the past he could be too forward and dysregulate his feelings and scare people off, and that wasn’t something he wanted to risk with you, though he was certainly much better at it now with learning and practice. If he was reading things correctly, you at least seemed to enjoy seeing him during your shift. 

“You got more pastries, sir?” an employee from the medical supplies sector asked him gleefully. “I swear they get better each time!”

Shouto nodded with a smile. “I’m glad you like it. I’ll be sure to relay your compliment.”

With the dozens of pastries he’s been ordering from your cafe (each order seeming to grow every time he visited after realizing just how much his employees enjoyed it), he would place them around the breakrooms and staff kitchens in the establishment. Those areas were always fully stocked with drinks and sandwiches and chocolates in case anyone needed a little boost, but nothing seemed to bring as much comfort as freshly baked pastries did. And a different baked good almost everyday seemed to give people more to get excited about. 

He owed it all to your sales’ pitch and blinding smile that made him want to buy it. And your personality, of course.

His Personal Secretary had started to wonder why she no longer was tasked with his early morning coffee runs, and Shouto had to find a way to answer without saying it was because there was a barista he wanted to keep talking to. 

Not even he was that shameless. 

The first time, his PS had just called in sick and Shouto decided he might as well head to a cafe himself for the first time in a while. He worried he might have been rusty while ordering, but you did such a good job at being welcoming and guiding the transaction that he found himself actually enjoying it. (Enjoying you, maybe. But it was too soon to admit that.) 

And now, after that initial meeting, he decided it was worth half an hour of his day to give his PS some early morning break time and visit the cafe himself. 

It was worth it so much, in fact, that the next morning on a Saturday, despite most of his employees being given the weekend off, he still went to buy some coffee and pastries. 

“Good morning!” an older lady called as he entered the front doors. Shouto had seen her assisting in shifts and baking pastries when you were busy working the cash register. “What can I get started for you today?”

He looked around the store—relatively quiet compared to the rush hour during the weekdays—and to his disappointment, saw no sight of you. 

The current barista laughed, seeming to read his very thoughts. “Looking for someone? Y/N perhaps?”

His gaze shot up, feeling like a kid getting caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to by his guardian. Cautiously, he gave a small nod. 

“‘Fraid they have the weekends off, actually,” the lady—her name tag read Miyazaki—said. “But don’t look so down, they’ll be back on Monday morning to greet you with a smile.”

He nodded again, feeling his face heat up. Was he that transparent or did Miyazaki just know too much? “Thank you, ma’am.”

She chuckled, waving him over. “No need to be so formal. Now, is there anything I can get for you? Or were you just visiting in hopes of asking our dear Y/N out?”

“No— I…” Shouto felt himself averting his gaze. “I’ll order something.”

At his apparent discomfort, her mischievous gaze softened. “Of course, hon. Sorry for teasing too much. I was just excited seeing how adorable you and Y/N were.” She cleared her throat. “I mean, that’s not my business. Anyway. What can I get started for you?”

He asked for a macchiato and a couple dozen of today’s pastries, paid, and tipped. (Though, it was initially met with a blatant rejection. He didn’t take it too hard; he knew some older members of society thought of tips as insulting and he’d never force anyone to take a tip if it made them feel bad. But after offering again, she thankfully accepted it.)

When he left the cafe, although the exchange was pleasant enough, Shouto still found himself disappointed he wasn’t able to see you. 

At least he had something to look forward to next Monday morning, though part of him wished the day would somehow come sooner. 

a/n: hope u enjoyed miyazaki’s words of wisdom u.u FHKDF i’m totally kidding, but if ur asian like me then u kNOW what convos like that are like omg ,, just had my mom and two grandmas tell me that recently :’/ kskskfd but anyway i hope u enjoyed this chapter and liked seeing a glimpse of shouto’s thoughts ;3 tysm for reading!

what to expect in the next part:

more shouto and y/n :>

maybe some ~flirting~ pfft idk idk u.u

some minor...misunderstandings 

“hello, zuko here” vibes

[cranetreegang]

And You're a Fool - Valerius x Court Magician/MC

A/N: BIG SHOUT OUT to my fellow Val lover - @kn0xley They are literally the best and were so kind in helping me with looking over this chapter and giving some awesome suggestions and feedback, cause i was ready to delete and start over. Thank you again @kn0xley!!!

So, here we are my dudes and dudettes. It's the confession!!!! ahhhhh!!!! i hope y'all enjoy cause I enjoyed writing this. and yes i did blast this song while I worked, thank you for asking. I have plans for more Val content that I'll share at the end. Thanks again and I hope you enjoy :)

Summary: Valerius has been rather nasty to you the past few days and you finally confront him.

Word Count: ~5,000

Arcana Masterlist

Warnings: SEX!!!!!!!! and confessions in the rain

------------------------------

“Amazing. What you just said was so asinine, I almost believed Edernton was speaking. If you don’t have any actual suggestions, I urge you to hold your tongue. We’ve already heard enough nonsense dribble out of his mouth today, we don’t need it from you as well.” Valerius stared me down from the bridge of his nose, waiting for me to refute.

His words cut through far deeper than they normally did, yet I wasn’t surprised by his ruthless behavior. Over the past week, he had become cold and rather vicious towards me. The sudden change was jarring and I wasn’t sure what I did to upset him. Anytime I tried to approach him, he would find some way to distance himself: A meeting he had to attend, a servant he had to manage, and even going as far as to say he had to assist Edernton with some policies. I tried reflecting on what I had done, but nothing egregious enough came to mind to earn this level of abrasive treatment.

“It was merely an idea, Consul.” I tried to ease him.

“And not a good one. Unsurprising though. You aren’t here for good ideas, you’re here to entertain. So, why don’t you leave until we need another magic show, Magician.” He sneered.

“Why are you saying this? Your hostility is unnecessary.” I wondered with a slight waver in my voice despite my best efforts to keep my emotions at bay. His eyes flickered before he shook his head, his jaw set.

“I’m merely stating the obvious. If you don’t like the truth, then perhaps you shouldn’t be here. This isn’t a place for the weak hearted and thin skinned.”

Since Nadia wasn’t here, the rest of the Courtiers were content with letting our disagreement play out. All except for Harriet, the recently appointed Praetor, who had been trying to please Valerius for weeks to earn his attention. Smelling blood in the water, Harriet’s back straightened as she smirked at me, licking her lips before she spoke.

“The Consul’s right. These matters are of the state, not for the next party. Why don’t you go cook up a spell to make Edernton less lumpen instead, witch?” She chuckled, the others joining in with her, while she watched Valerius for his approval.

Valerius, whose dark brows pinched in annoyance and his glare shifting to her, was ready to turn his tongue-lashing onto the middle-aged noblewoman beside him. I had enough though; my patience running too thin to endure any more of their ridicule. I stood, staring at Valerius as I did so, while a cold shift in the room made everyone fall silent.

“I’m sorry, Valerius. Truly. I don’t know what I did to warrant such cruelty from you. And I wish you would talk to me instead of treating me like this.” I held his gaze as he remained impassive and unreadable. I glanced around the table and stalked my way towards the door, “Since my presence here is unsought, I’ll take my leave.”

I threw the doors open and slammed them behind me with a blast of air. I paused at hearing shouting followed by glass breaking from behind the doors.

“Keep your sycophant, fat nose out of matters that don’t concern you. You worthless bootlicker.” Valerius’ venom-laced voice carried out into the hallway.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath to regain my lost control, then headed towards the gardens. This wasn’t the first time Valerius had made me retreat out here this week and I wasn’t sure how much more my heart could take. I focused the hurt I felt into growing the flowers and revitalizing the shrubbery, anything to keep the ache in my chest at bay. Just when I thought he and I were becoming closer, he had to go and do this.

My skin pricked and my bones were pulsing from an unknown flux in power. I scanned the sky for the source in my surge of magic to find dark gray clouds were swallowing the blue sky with the distant rumblings of thunder on the horizon and the air growing heavier with a damp chill. The storm would soon be upon me and I sensed it to be a mighty one.

“What were you thinking?” Valerius stomped up to me with his lips pursed and his nostrils flared. “Apologizing then leaving? Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

I spared him a sideways glance before walking down the row of flowers, “No, but I’m sure you’re about to enlighten me.” I bloomed the white roses then smelt their fresh fragrance.

Valerius’ nose scrunched as he put himself in front of the flowers to get my full attention, “You can’t submit to them like that. To admit you’re nothing more than a party trick when you’re not, is-,”

“That’s exactly what you said I was.” I snapped. “What? Do you have a sudden change in heart now that we’re alone?”

He shifted his gaze to his feet with a grimace. Fat drops landed on us and he hissed at the cold water seeping through his dark beige robes. He looked up at the sky as he said, “We need to go inside before we’re soaked.”

I rolled my eyes then went back to tending to the flowers, “It’s just water, Valerius. You’ll dry.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” He went to grab my elbow to take me back inside, but I stepped away from him with the hurt I felt coming forward.

“I should say the same to you.”

He flared out his nostrils and his upper lip curled, “What-,”

“I meant what I said in there.” I spoke over him. “I don’t know what I did to deserve your cruelty. And I’m tired of you avoiding me.” I sucked in a deep breath as I whispered, “I thought we were friends.”

The pouring rain and the occasional boom of thunder lessened the silence between us. He kept opening his mouth then shutting it when no words would come. He shifted from each foot while his brows furrowed. Another clap of thunder rocked through our bodies, making him wince.

“We can talk about this later. Come inside. This storm’s only going to get worse.” He said, his eyes watching the lightning arc between the dark clouds.

“Go inside then.” I huffed while motioning towards the palace. “I’m perfectly fine out here.”

His laugh was bitter as he said, “You’re being such a child right now.”

“And you’re being a fool!” I cried.

We stared at each other, lightning illuminated our faces, as we let ourselves get soaked from the rain. I could feel the hot tears between the mix of chilled rain and I bit my lip to keep my sobs at bay.

“Why do you keep doing this?” I whispered. “I don’t understand. Whenever I start to get too close to you, you shove me away. Why?”

His lips parted with intent to argue with my assessment, but no sharp or bitter words came. He grimaced as he stared at the storm above, “You are so naïve to think that in our line of work we can get close to one another. We can’t.”

“Why can’t we? What is it that you’re so afraid of?” I questioned.

His eyes widened, a flinch went across his stern features as if I struck him. His back straightened as he clenched his fists and looked down at me, “Why can’t we? Because I’m the Consul and you’re the Court Magician. We are in two powerful positions and to allow such pleasures between us, would mean opening ourselves up to ruin. Anyone could take advantage and wield what we have against us. Surely you realize that. You must know what risks there are for people like us.”

I shook my head, “There’s risk, yes, but there’s always a risk with anything. Especially with matters of the heart. You know that’s no reason though. There’s nothing stopping us except ourselves.”

He threw his hands up in the air with a bitter frown, “Gods, you never think, do you? You just rush in, with your heart on your sleeve, unprepared and ignorant to what could happen to you. Do you know the consequences of being seen together? Of what they’ll say?”

“I don’t care. I like being with you. But, not if you keep shoving me away like-,” filth.

I let out a bitter laugh when a harsh realization sank in me, “It’s me. You don’t want to be seen with me. Oh, how they will talk once they realize you’ve been around someone like me. Someone so beneath you. We can’t have that. Can’t be seen with some witch. Because that’s all I am to you, aren’t I? Some wi-,”

“It’s me!” He blurted out, silencing me with a shocked gasp. He turned away to avoid my gaze with a stiff upper lip. “You can’t be seen with me. You may not care what they say about you, but I do. If they saw you with me, they would never respect you. I can’t let you do that to yourself. Not for me.”

“Valerius.” I went closer to him and his eyes widened, his lips parted with a demand for me to stop which he couldn’t voice. His wet hair clung to the sides of his well-defined face and his robes were drenched. I stood within a breath of him as I said, “Let them talk. Let them whisper. Because I have no care for the words they say. All I care about is you.”

His lip trembled as I spoke, his resolve crumbling. “You say I’m a fool, when clearly you’re one too. You would resent being associated with me. To have your name dragged through muck.”

“What do you want, Valerius?” I asked, holding his gaze as he stared into me. “Tell me what you want. Not what you think is best for me.”

His mask slipped, revealing for a brief moment his true feelings. He closed his eyes as he whispered, “You don’t know what you’re asking.”

“Don’t let the fear of what may happen stop you. Because I’m yours, Valerius. You just have to want me too.”

The pelting of rain and rumbles of thunder filled the void as he struggled with his decision. I waited, keeping my pleas of how I so desperately wanted him at bay; how much he meant to me and whatever he decided I would love him, even if he chose to walk away. All I wanted was for him to be happy. His golden eyes hadn’t left mine, his features hard and fighting to not break while his breathing was ragged.

“Damn you, witch.” He muttered as his lips collided with mine like a crack of lightning.

The kiss was anything but gentle, with our teeth knocking and scraping against each other, and our lips cold and wet from the rain. I held his cheek to guide him to where I wanted, to ease his desperation for a moment. His hand found purchase in my hair and around my waist as we melded into one another. His heart was beating almost as fast as mine. His lips were warm and soft while his hold on me was strong to keep me close to him. Our wet bodies pressed against each other and I had never felt more alive than in that moment.

When we broke away, he stared down at me with panting breaths. He cupped my cheek and moved the wet hair stuck on my face away. His cheeks were dusted a soft crimson and a gentleness had soothed the sharpness in his features.

“You’ll come to regret this one day.” He warned.

I smiled while shaking my head, “The only regret I have is not doing this sooner.”

His brows raised in surprise, disbelief, and he kissed me again. A want was bubbling to the surface and he desired more. He laid his forehead against mine, his hand nestled where my jaw joined my neck and his other was wrapped around my lower back. He stroked along my cheek with the tips of his fingers while he calmed himself. A restraint was coming back to keep him in place and he broke apart with a sharp exhale.

“We should get inside.” He grabbed my hand then led me back into the palace.

Servants were unashamed in their open gawking as Valerius hurried us through the palace, our soaked bodies leaving a trail of puddles as we went. He didn’t stop until we were in his room and he pressed me against the closed door. His lips were back on me in heated kisses while he pinned my body against him. His tongue pressed into me then tangled with mine. He was coaxing moans from me with his burning touches along my back and hips.

“Have you put a spell on me, witch? To make me feel this way.” He panted.

I let out a slight chuckle, which sounded closer to a moan, “I was going to ask you the same.”

He groaned and he guided us in front of the fireplace, which I ignited to warm our soaked bodies with a flick of my fingers. Everything felt frantic, desperate, as if the moment would end soon unless we acted now. Perhaps it would. It made me want to sear this moment into my mind even more. The way his hands clawed and shoved away my damp clothes. How his lips never left mine for long and each kiss made my body thrum. I’ll remember most the way he looked at me with such a deep feeling I never thought he was capable of showing. And it was only for me to see.

My chest tightened from those looks and my belly coiled into a burning knot once we were both bare to one another. His slender hands moved over me and he pressed his cool, damp body against me with a hiss then a pleased sigh into the crook of my neck. He nipped along my sensitive flesh as he lowered us to lay on the ground. The firelight illuminated him in such a way, he seemed ethereal above me. His golden eyes like the burning sun and I was consumed whole by his light.

He watched me moan and writhe as he teased a finger into me. His finger swirled and pushed until I couldn’t take the wait any longer.

“Please. I want you.” I begged, my voice soft and wanting.

I could see a shiver pass through him before he gave me a fierce kiss. He eased himself inside me and we were both panting from the joining of our flesh. He never stopped looking at me through half-lidded eyes and he kept our bodies pressed together in a tangle of limbs. The knot grew tighter and I desired to be as close to him as I possibly could.

My magic seeped from my skin and interweaved with him, melding and uniting with his own strands of magic to create a bond. He shuddered and a whimpering moan left him as the bond consumed us with our combined feelings for the other. His emotions were powerful and raw, like a crashing wave threatening to take me to the depths of his vast being, and I savored every sweet moment of it. His beauty extended to every part of him and I wanted to scream praises to all the Gods for letting me experience him; to witness him not as Consul, but as Valerius.

The heat between us was overwhelming and I was getting lost in him. His faint smell of linen and rich spices clung onto him through the musk. His possessive touches squeezed whatever he could grab ahold of as he neared the edge. His luscious hair was falling into disarray and cascaded over me. I pulled him closer to capture his lips, my fingers tangling into his roots as I kissed him.

He moaned as he rutted deep inside, a warmth spreading within me which I welcomed. The knot snapped after feeling his release and I collapsed around him, earning a sharp gasp from him. He laid on me, out of breath and spent. When he did move, it was only enough to look at me. In the firelight, tears glinted at the edges of his eyes as he calmed his ragged breaths.

“Damn you, witch.” He whispered as his fingers brushed along my cheek and into my hair.

A laugh left me like a breath of air as I smiled up at him. I tucked away the long strands of his hair behind his ear then said, “But, I’m your witch, Consul.”

He closed his eyes and hummed, a soft smile formed as he said, “My witch. I like the sounds of that.”

My lips brushed along his cheekbones and down to his jawline, little breaths leaving him every time I touched him. He met my lips with his own, sending a shiver down my spine at how intense he kissed me. He shifted his body to lay to the side of me, still keeping us close together and allowing me to admire him in the fire’s glow. I traced the fine features of his face, enjoying the way he was smiling without him trying to hide it away.

His fingers grazed down my sides then back up again, “What will you do now, witch? Now that you have me in the palm of your hand, what will you do with me?”

I cupped his cheek, my thumb stroking his soft skin, “I never want to let you go.”

“Is that so?” He closed his eyes with a slight chuckle, nuzzling into my palm as he did so. When he opened his eyes again, he had a thoughtful look about him. I wondered what he was thinking of as he stared into my eyes. He kissed me then laid his forehead on mine.

“I’ve never felt this way before.” His admittance was quiet and if he hadn't been so close it would’ve been lost to the crackling of the fire and the pelting of rain against the glass window.

“Like what?”

His fingers swept across my cheek and tucked away my hair with a thoughtful glimmer in his eyes, “Warm. Every piece of me from the inside out feels completely consumed. Like my life was in chaos and now I’ve been thrust out of the storm into this calm.”

“Sounds like love.” I teased with a brush of my nose against his.

He pulled away with pinched brows as he shook his head, “No. That’s what Edernton says when they serve him roasted chicken for dinner. Or when I have a glass after a long day, or when Nadia is pleased with the spells you do for her. No, this feels more than that. So much more than just one simple word. This feeling I have for you is so fierce, to say it’s just love is simply untrue.”

I almost wanted to look away from his heated gaze as he spoke with such fervor. Lightning lit up the room followed by the boom of thunder so loud it rattled the windows. A warm smile came over me as I kissed his palm, “Then let’s not put it to words.”

A breath left him before he pulled me towards him for a searing kiss. I could feel all the emotions he’s kept at bay for so long all rushing to the surface, making me shudder. The soft whimpers and hitched breaths that left him made my head spin and my stomach flutter. I pressed into his chest until I was on top of him, his arms wrapped around me in a tight embrace.

It didn’t take much coaxing to have his member twitching and demanding entrance. To have him inside me again was like I was made whole and I wasn’t afraid to show how much I enjoyed it. With my hand placed on his shoulder and the other on his chest, I rocked my hips into a steady pace while I admired the handsome man below me.

His hair was laid out around him like a halo of black and gold. His pale skin, flawless and dusted in a light red, was glowing from the oranges and yellows of the fire. His full lips, swollen from our exchanges, parted to let out low moans. His golden eyes hadn’t left mine since we closed the bedroom door and I found myself getting dragged into their depths.

“Gods, you’re so beautiful.” I said.

He grinned for a moment before sitting up and shifting me to be on his lap, his lips landing at the crook of my neck. He met my rolling hips with hard thrusts and he trailed down my panting chest to capture one of my breasts into his mouth. I tangled my fingers into his hair as he massaged and sucked on me. He wrapped around the base of my skull to drag me down into a fierce kiss.

The bond we had created was ignited again, strumming between us with rampant energy. All of his touches were like a fire burning across my skin and deep into my being. His breathing picked up and his movements became more urgent.

He moaned into my mouth as we both were lost in the other’s bliss. He laid us back on the ground and kissed all along my neck and shoulder. His hot breath fanned across my skin while his hands ran along my back.

“You’re breathtaking.” He murmured into the crook of my neck. “From the moment I saw you, I couldn’t look away. And trying to stay away was impossible.”

“I thought it was because you were devising ways to get rid of me.” I giggled.

His laughter rumbled the both of us, a pleasant noise similar to a melody sung by bards, which made me smile. He squeezed me against him, “That may have been part of the reason. Foolish, now that I think of it. Should’ve known you’d be too stubborn to leave.”

“I don’t think you were trying too hard though. My charm was already wearing you down.” I giggled when he grabbed my hand to tangle with his.

“You devious witch. Should’ve known that was your plan all along.” He kissed the top of my hand. “I’m now helplessly under your spell.”

I kissed him then nuzzled into the crook of his neck, “As I am yours.”

The storm raged outside while he held me close to him, placing kisses on my hairline while keeping my hand over his heart and squeezing it on occasion. I would’ve been content with laying there with him for the rest of my days, if given the choice.

“We should go to the bath.” He purred once the fire was reduced to smoldering embers.

I hummed in agreement, “We should.”

Saying and doing were two different things though, and we were quite slow in getting ourselves untangled then dressed enough to be seen out in the corridors. He had my arm around his as he led me down an empty hallway towards a dead end. I was about to question where we were going when he guided us through the illusion wall. His smirk was obvious as he took us towards a set of double doors, leading into a private bath.

“Lucio would take me here whenever he didn’t want anyone to see us, or listen in.” Valerius answered the unspoken question.

This secret bath was similar to the bathing chambers just scaled down to only accommodate three or four people. The view was towards the Dark Forest, but the gloomy sky and pouring rain made it impossible to see far. I sensed the magic in the air, tingling my nose and tongue with every breath. The waters were steaming and smelled of roses, white petals floated on the water like they were just placed a few moments ago.

“It’s cozy.” I smirked over my shoulder towards Valerius as I let my robe slip off of me, pooling at my feet. I got into the warm waters and took my place on the stone bench facing the forest. All the while, I felt the heat of his gaze on me never once breaking away. I heard his robe hit the ground followed by him coming into the bath. He took his place next to me, kissing up my shoulder then my neck until he reached my lips. His kiss was soft, less hurried and hungry.

“This is nice.” I said against his plush lips.

“More so with you here.” He smiled as he kissed me again. He cupped water to let run down my chest and my back before saying, “Turn around.”

My brows raised at the playfulness in his voice, but I obeyed his command and shifted my body to face away from him. I felt his smirk on the shell of my ear as he whispered, “Do you trust me?”

A shiver went down my spine from both his question and his hot breath against my skin. I managed a breathless, ‘Yes.’, which earned me a soft kiss on my neck. He guided me back, easing my head into the water and cradling me over his lap while I floated on the surface similar to the petals around us.

“Close your eyes.” He whispered, a gentle smile toying on his lips.

I complied once more and the hand he had under my head began to massage my scalp. I hummed in appreciation from his tender touches and let myself drift away. He worked his fingers through my tangles without once pulling on my hair, taking his time to wash my hair as if it were his own. When he helped me out of the water to sit up again, I felt like I had been in a dream, my mind hazy and warm.

“Thank you.” I smiled at him while he cleaned my back.

He kissed my shoulder, “Take this as my way to make amends for how I’ve been acting lately.”

“Well, in that case.” I smirked at him. “Although, I must admit, you did hurt my feelings when you compared me to Edernton.” I giggled when he groaned at the reminder.

“That was… uncalled for.” He admitted.

“Very. So, I’d say you at least owe me dinner and a bottle of one of the merlots you have stashed away.” I winked.

He laughed, “A high price to pay to earn your forgiveness, witch.” He brought me flush against him and kissed me. He held my gaze as he continued, “A price I’m more than willing to pay.”

I turned around and sat in his lap, “Then let’s get you cleaned up, Consul. You look ragged.”

I helped him undo his hair, freeing it from any knots and tangles from our earlier activities. I admired the length of his locks by letting my fingers run through it. I summoned my magic to knead water into his hair, his eyes rolling back as I did so. The water caressed over him while I kept his mouth occupied with my own. I couldn’t get enough of him: his touch, his taste, his smell. By the time I was done washing him, my body was pulsing and thrumming for him. We helped each other out of the bath, exchanging long kisses and touches on the other’s bare body while doing so.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to your magic.” He said while I dried us with a spell. I bit my lip at all the ways I could use my magic on him, but I tucked those ideas away for a later day.

We headed back to his room, surprisingly unseen, and Valerius got us food from the kitchen delivered to us by one of the servants. We went through his expensive bottle of merlot and we were both feeling the effects of the day by the time we were done.

“Will you stay? For the night, I mean.” He stroked the top of my hand, his body rigid while waiting for my answer.

“I’ll stay as long as you want me.” I smiled, which he kissed me for.

We crawled into bed together and my body thrummed from being so close to him. We laid there, taking in the other’s presence in comfortable silence. Our fingers traced patterns in the other’s flesh while I thought of everything which led to this moment. There was a feeling of content in me, like I finally arrived at where I was supposed to be. Right here. In his arms. I closed my eyes and let my magic pull us into an all-consuming embrace. He sighed into me and held me closer to him.

“I was a fool for keeping you away for so long.” He whispered. “Now that you’re here, I never want you to go.”

“That’s a relief. Because I never want to leave.”

He kissed my forehead and with a soft breath said, “Seems we’ve come to an agreement then.”

I giggled, “Seems we have.”

He tightened his hold on me, like I would slip through his grasp if he didn’t hold me tight enough. “Dream of sweet things, my witch. For I know I will of you.”

“Then sweet dreams we’ll both have.”

I let the warmth of him guide me into a peaceful sleep. One with dreams of he and I. Together.

---------------------------

A/N: I'm pretty happy with how this turned out. Feedback is always welcomed, or if you ever wanted to chat, I'm always down!

I have planned out three more short pieces and a series involving Demon Val cause im a sucker for monster men.

Thanks again everyone for all the love!

[intheorangebedroom]

Hey @polyglot-noodle (cutest handle ever btw)

I'm a bloody idiot and idk what happened to your ask, I think I pressed "post" instead of answering you, but now I can't even find it anymore? Thank goodness I screen caped it (BECAUSE IT'S THE BEST EVER) My day is off to a good start!! I am so, so, SO embarrassed, but then again, it illustrates perfectly what happens in my brain when people are nice to me.

And girl, are you nice to me. Oh la la mais merci, je ne sais pas quoi répondre 😱🧡🧡🧡 And the way I gasped when I read that sentence in French! Merciiiiiiiiiiii!!! Please do NOT shut up!! In general and with me in particular!

This is going to be one unhinged reply, apologies! but that's such a wonderful ask, I can't believe you're being so nice to me.

First, thank you 🧡 I am beyond happy that you're enjoying this story, because making people happy makes me happy (I'm so deep 😅). Then, please don't apologise for not dropping in earlier, I am so thankful you did drop at all! I hope uni work is better now, but I've been there, so I know it probably isn't... What are you studying? You speak so many languages, WOW, I'm awed by you and your brain!!

Oh yes, the references to art... I am so happy to get some feedback on that, I'm always concerned that people might find it boring and useless, but it's how my mind and imagination have been shaped and continue to grow, so I can't imagine shaping up a story, let alone characters, without it. Frankie and Reader especially, they're such idealistic dreamers... And so is Will, and I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate your love for him! I adore him, he's such a big part of this story, and if I was a bit more confident, there would be so much more about him. Next chapter should do him justice, I hope. But thank you for letting me know I am on the right path when describing his and R's dynamic. They became very close very fast, and it's one of the reasons she's stuck in that mess and can't see a way out of it. She doesn't want to lose him too 🥺

My take on Frankie probably stems from my obsession with him and this movie, that I have watched not respectfully way too many times with my overanalysing brain. I'm glad you like him 🧡 Again, I'm always afraid my very defined and very personal take on a fandom favourite might be a put-off.

And AHHHHHHH Before Sunrise!!!!!!! I can't believe you mentioned Before Sunrise!!!! This movie has had such a big impact on my life and the decisions I took!!! And yes, it's definitely an inspiration for PTMY, I am squealing in excitement that my very humble story reminded you of it!!! I don't think I'm ever going to be confident in my SMUT writing abilities, but I do spend literal HOURS choosing the right word, so THANK YOU for noticing!!!

And finally (I'm the one person whose answers are longer than the actual asks, sorryyyyy) YES Reader's a badass, she survived some pretty terrible things (again, down to my lack of confidence to not develop that more in the story) and has been fighting her entire life so that her trauma wouldn't define her, while simultaneously thinking that she's failing, which of course isn't true, and guess who sees that clearly...? Why our boy Frankie, of course!

Ok I have to shut up, for your sake, but I can't thank you enough for your kindness, your time, your words; sincèrement, je me sens idiote de le répéter encore mais merci du fond du coeur 🧡

I love you and I am giving you the biggest bone-crushing hug ever!

You've have made my entire year 🧡

[chateautae]

maybe i do | kth. V

➵ summary :  maybe you love each other, maybe you don’t. when a deal between your fathers leaves you forcefully wedding kim taehyung, arguably seoul’s most powerful CEO, you’re prepared for a loveless marriage of eternal regret and unhappiness. but maybe, it doesn’t turn out that way after all.

↳  part of the high-class series!

➵ pairing : taehyung x reader

➵ genre :  arranged marriage!au, ceo!tae,  s2l!au, eventual smut, fluff, angst

➵ rating : 18+

➵ word count : 17k

➵ warnings : swearing, A N G S T, descriptions of stress, insinuations of cheating, heavy making out, sexual content (finally LMAO), marking, breast play, fingering, lots of dirty talk, teasing, mentions of tae’s massive c0ck cause wbk, oral (f. receiving), praising, light name kink, some cute domesticity i honestly cried writing

➵ a/n: thank you to my beta-reader @hantaev, my precious english student who really helped with my mistakes 🥺 i apologize in advance for the rollercoaster ride that is this chapter, but i hope you’re still enjoying these two idiots navigating their feelings 🥰, as always, feedback is appreciated my loves!

chapter five : “would it be alright, if i pulled you closer?”

prev. ↞ || ↠ next  ||  masterlist

Taehyung ♡ : Y/N

Taehyung ♡ : Y/N

Taehyung ♡ : Y/N answer me 

Taehyung ♡ : jagiya

Taehyung ♡ : baby

Taehyung ♡ : princess, answer me 

Taehyung ♡ : if you don’t answer me right now i’ll call you my princess 

You : Taehyung what the FUCK

You : you just dropped me off at work, what do you want??

Taehyung ♡ : how hard was it this morning to cover up my hickeys ;)

You : ... Mr. Kim, i advise you start driving before i come back out and kick you

Taehyung ♡ : why is my princess so violent?? jheez

You : TAE-this can’t be the only reason you texted, what do you acc want

Taehyung ♡ : just seeing if you remember lunch today

You : why are you so annoying? of course I remember -_-

Taehyung ♡ : just checking

Taehyung ♡ : i also wanted to say good work with the going on dates idea, media’s covered everything and we look really convincing :)

You : well isn’t that lovely 

Taehyung ♡ : okay i’m driving now, bye

You : TAEHYUNG WHAT THE HELL

Taehyung could only stifle an evil snicker as he turned his phone screen off, amused more than he should’ve been. He kicked his car into ignition, speeding off to endure another day at work until you’d arrive at noon, gracing the taxing place with your pretty face.  

And it put him in a good mood, fuck, a great mood. It was funny actually, Taehyung’s older secretary in her wise 50′s had pointed out slight changes in him seemingly because of his ‘Mrs. Kim.’ 

He was strangely more approachable, and his eyes didn’t always set into the hard stare he usually assumed. Instead of only flashing a tight-lipped smile to whomever he passed, Taehyung’s smile was slowly beginning to crease his eyes, and the hushed whispers of workers at his company claimed he was more forgiving these days. 

Taehyung attempted to deny it all, though his good-natured secretary Mrs. Lee would never let him hear the end of it.

“It’s that wife of yours, isn’t it Mr. Kim?” His secretary smiled sheepishly as she stood before his desk, eyeing him knowingly. 

“Mrs. Lee, I am not different at all, I’m just.. in a good mood these days.” 

“And it’s because of your lovely wife, isn’t it?” 

Taehyung teetered on rejecting her once again, though ended up realizing she was essentially right. He didn’t want to outwardly admit it, but spending time with you has oddly been loosening him up, and he didn’t feel so listless these days. 

His expression simmered into a small smile. “I think you’ve got a schedule to read out, right, Mrs. Lee?” His eyes playfully scrutinized her, and Mrs. Lee could only chuckle along with him as she turned her attention to her notes. 

“You have a meeting at 10 for the progression on your deal with Steeles’ Ltd. The Busan headquarters will also be sending their month-end report regarding construction on the newest building. The distribution team should be getting the status of your latest chips sent to Japan today. The paper work will be prepared thereafter, and your afternoon has been booked for meetings with Mr. Yang and Mr. Jeong.”

“Alright, thank you, Mrs. Lee.” 

His secretary vacated his office and Taehyung blew a raspberry, reclining back in his chair as he contemplated his busy day. He decided to get a crack on the current paperwork crowding his desk, believing his day was going to be just like any other, flooded with work he’d be able to push through. 

However, as Taehyung’s day gradually progressed, it did not go as planned.  

“Mrs. Lee, why was I delivered coffee?” Taehyung inquired through the extension of his phone, her desk on the other end. 

“What? But you drink tea, Mr. Kim.” 

“Exactly, so why is there a cup of coffee sitting on my desk?” 

“Ah, I’m so sorry Mr. Kim, it may have been an accident of one of the secretaries in-training.” 

Taehyung could only take a heavy sigh. The wretched liquid has always tasted like poison to him, and he’d always made his preference of tea very explicitly clear, so he couldn’t understand how someone made such an error, especially a preferential one. 

Nonetheless, he chose to forgive it and had the coffee returned, instead moving on to prepare for his upcoming meeting at 10. 

Though unfortunately, it proved to be another tick in his good day. 

“Han Co. offered a better deal?”

“Yes, sir. And I believe we’re looking at quite an exorbitant deal. Steeles’ Ltd. is currently predicted to accept theirs over ours. We’re in dire need of hiking up the price.” 

Taehyung pinched the bridge of his nose, puffing out frustrated air as he rested in his seat overlooking the grand meeting hall of executives. 

“Alright, we’ll draft something new.” Taehyung concluded sharply before adjourning the meeting, loosening his suit out of feeling like he was being constricted. He couldn’t help but become pissed at the mention of Han Co., returning to his office vexed. 

Fucking Hisung, jackass just had to one-up me. 

Taehyung had initiated his remedy for the deal, working on conjuring a new one alongside some of his team members. It’d been advancing smoothly until his reports from the Busan headquarters reached him, another hiccup he didn’t expect. 

“7 months? The construction is delayed by 7 months?!” 

“We believe so, Mr. Kim. Unfortunately the weather has been volatile, and significant property damage has been sustained.” 

Now Taehyung was utterly irritated, why did it seem like everything was against him today? He almost let out his anger on the man on the other end until he breathed, suddenly remembering the simple technique you’d once encouraged him to use. 

He decided to internalize his frustration since it wasn’t necessarily anyone’s fault, and was gladly already hitting the 11:30 mark of his day.

The thought of you peculiarly popped into his head. 

You’ll have lunch with him, he told himself. You’ll arrive at noon and everything will be okay. 

Taehyung acquiesced and simmered down. “Okay.. let’s monitor the weather and move accordingly.” 

Cutting the call, he believed he could catch a brief interval to relax before he saw you. You’d already seen him angry once, and Taehyung despised how easily he divulged such a vulnerable part of himself to you, not to mention it may have scared you. 

The last thing he wanted was his wife seeing him in a stressful state, the emotion regarded as a weak point Taehyung didn’t want others to see, because he’s seemingly never stressed to anyone. He’s a competent, powerful CEO that can’t be hindered by such a thing, and knows how to handle it on his own. 

He stuck to those exact principles as the minutes ticked by, ultimately cooling down until Taehyung received another phone call that would ravage his mood.

“You’re telling me all 800,000 chips sustained an error from the manufacturers? Tell me this is a joke.” 

“I’m afraid not, Mr. Kim. They’ve informed us after a test run they weren’t functioning as they should have. Trouble-shooting indicated it was an issue with the chips’ hardware, nothing internal.” 

“Who in God’s name.. allowed 800,000 faulty chips to be cleared for Japan?! Where are the final evaluation reports for this batch? What the hell went wrong?” 

“We’re um.. working on it, sir. The department’s been in shambles since the news.” 

“No fucking kidding. We’ll have to launch an entire investigation on the manufacturing unit that produced them!”

“We are deeply sorry, Mr. Kim. We will do better next time. We’ll have them send the batch back for further investigation.” 

“Good, I need something going right around here.” And Taehyung cut the call without a second to spare. He had clearly jinxed this day, because quite literally everything had gone terribly wrong. 

He would have to spend days cleaning up these tedious messes, pushing his other tasks back drastically and dedicating mammoths of his time towards work now.

Taehyung plopped down onto his office chair dispiritedly, leaning over to hold his head in his hands against his desk. A headache was starting to pound in the back of his mind, he felt utterly drained of what he was now drowning in and an incessant ache he oddly developed in his shoulder today has refused to leave him alone. 

He’d taken every frustrating phone call he could’ve, scolded and yelled at whoever he needed to. Decisions were piling up, he was expected to make smart moves quickly and the paperwork involved was already as large as a tidal wave, sending him into a spiraling mess of stress. 

And just when Taehyung believed he’d receive some sort of reprieve when he finally saw you, his sanity was further tested by the visit of someone he never saw coming. 

Someone that wasn’t you. 

“Mr. Kim, You’d better be alert, Ms. Aera made an unexpected visit and she’s-” Mrs. Lee’s voice through the phone was interrupted with the loud opening of his door.

Right then and there, the woman came busting into his office, completely unbothered and unaware of how arbitrary her actions were. 

Taehyung’s eyes widened in disbelief, scolding her upon entry. “Aera, what are you doing here?” 

“Taehyungie! It’s been so long.” The woman cheered, face lighting up at the sight of Taehyung while he did the exact opposite, distraught behind his desk. 

“What do you want?” His eyebrows knitted disapprovingly. 

“Taehyungie, look-” 

“Don’t call me that.” Taehyung grimaced as he held a hand up to stop her. “I never authorized your visit, leave my office.” 

“But I just have something to say, please?” She acted innocent to win him over. 

“I’m not interested.”

“Please? It’s nothing bad, Taehyung.” The woman whined, loosely clutching a Michael Kors purse in her hand as she purposefully pouted. 

Taehyung could only sigh heavily thinking about this, massaging his tired eyes. He’d surely want this woman escorted out because he doesn’t have the capacity to deal with her, though it would only cause a scene knowing she’s the persistent, screaming and kicking type. He figured for an easier outcome, he could simply allow her to say her piece and she’d leave him alone

And the quicker he let her, the faster he could get rid of her.

He ran a hand through his hair as he leaned back in his chair, expression fed up as he addressed her blankly. “Make what you’re saying quick, I’ll only let you talk for that sole purpose.” 

The woman’s face couldn’t have been happier, excited with a hint of shyness as she spoke to him. Taehyung hadn’t been looking at her at all, and could only become appalled when he heard her question. 

“I was just wondering, could we spend another night together, Taehyung? Just one last time?”

His eyebrows quirked in disbelief, replying curtly. “I’m married. I’m not affiliated with you anymore.” 

“Married? Oh c’mon, Taehyung. You expect me to believe you’re now suddenly faithful to her when we were still sleeping together before your engagement? That makes no sense.” She argued venomously, eyebrows of her own incredulous. 

“She’s my wife, the answer is no.” Taehyung tried to keep his rage at bay, subduing the blood boiling under his skin after a tiresome day. 

The woman had the audacity to scoff. “She’s just some less-than heiress that has you seduced, Taehyung. Does she really mean that much to you?” 

Taehyung’s indignation now sky-rocketed, expression piercing.  “Talk about my wife like that again and you’re being dragged out of my office.” 

“And you didn’t answer my question, so it seems my offer still stands.” The woman’s face twisted into something proud, something that was tugging at every last nerve Taehyung had left for today and he wasn’t having it. 

“Get out of my office.”

“But Tae-”

“I said get out. I’m expecting someone for lunch. “

“Awh, is it your wife? Can I meet her? Or have you not told her about all your little escapades before her?” The woman pulled at his leg, pettiness evident in her tone and it was cutting at Taehyung’s last strand of sanity. 

His jaw could only lock with controlled rage as he spoke through gritted teeth. “Don’t ever go near my wife, and leave while I’m being nice.” 

The woman didn’t budge, only instead spoke nostalgically as she sauntered over to Taehyung. 

“But wasn’t I once your priority? The one you took to bed? The one you called when you were stressed? You seem stressed right now, baby, let me blow off some steam for you.” The woman’s manicured hands found purchase on Taehyung’s arms, just beginning to slide up teasingly. 

Taehyung was seconds from deflecting her cold touch, utter rejection written on him until his office door suddenly clicked open. 

“He’s taking quite long, don’t you think, Mrs. Lee?” You perked up from your seat outside Taehyung’s office, waiting for him to allow you inside. It was your first time visiting him, and you remained antsy fixing yourself to fit into the high-end look of his company. 

You were also buzzing because you’d received the best news ever concerning a gracious deal at work, and you were eager to spill every happy little detail to  Taehyung. 

“I’m not so sure, Mrs. Kim. He’s had quite the day, he should.. be welcoming you soon.” Mrs. Lee speculated with a slight stutter, confusing you until you sighed, thinking you’ve waited long enough.  

He was cutting into your lunch time already, and if he was too busy to attend he would’ve informed you with a simple text, just like he had about the success of your date. 

You hated to admit this, but that text minutely bothered you while reading it, automatically correlating anything Taehyung did last night with a show meant for the cameras. It was like a slap to the face considering nothing he did was genuine, though then again, that’s always been the point, everything’s supposed to be for public image, right?

Then why did it hurt when he sent that text?

You discarded the thought thinking you’ve been delayed enough, propping off your chair to turn the handle of his large office doors, Taehyung’s secretary suddenly exclaiming almost frantically.

“Oh no, Mrs. Kim, we-we need Mr. Kim to confirm whether he’s ready to accept a visitor or not.”

You waved her off with a small chuckle. “Oh please, I’m his wife, Mrs. Lee. I’m his most important visitor.” You remarked light-heartedly, scrunching your nose at her as you turned the handle. 

Your face was painted with a smile to greet Taehyung, setting foot inside his office only to be met by the last scene you’d thought you’d see. 

You caught sight of a quite provocatively, though expensively dressed woman with her ring-slated hands on your husband, her action only distracted by your entrance and lips curved into a scheming smile that made your stomach churn. 

Taehyung’s eyes widened in extreme shock, quickly ridding himself of the woman’s touch as he addressed you alarmed. “Y/N-”

“I was thinking you were caught up with something.” Your empty voice cut him off, expression beyond blank. An invisible knife was oddly twisting into your heart and it felt suffocating, clutching onto the strap of your side bag, trying to conceal the thickness of your voice as you looked on. “And I guess you are.. I’ll leave.”

“Y/N, wait, don’t go.” Taehyung called out urgently, desperation in his tone. 

“I think I really should.” 

“Jagiya, please stay. She was just leaving, I have no business with her.” Taehyung’s voice was more firm, trying to persuade you but you weren’t buying it, especially with him daring to call you a pet name right now. 

You nearly clutched the door more ajar until you suddenly heard the unknown woman’s voice perk up, clearly amused by the shit show she created.

“Jagiya? Oh, so you’re the wife? Aren’t you just the prettiest little thing?” She beamed, but you could only remain frozen in your spot angered, knowing exactly the type she was. 

“Aera, leave my office-”

“You call her Jagiya, isn’t that just adorable? I wonder how many times it took sleeping with you to gain that privilege-”

“Leave.” Taehyung’s voice resonated angrily in his office, his frightening stare flaring, though the woman only went on. 

“Ouu, there’s that temper I love oh so much.” The woman feigned adoration with a hand over her heart, then glancing towards you as she spoke. 

“He’s hot when he’s mad, isn’t he? Though I guess a whore like you would probably know.”

“Aera-”

“Or maybe you really are some runaway heiress he picked up off the streets and would never take to bed. Let me tell you, sweetie, there’s nothing like when he gets dominant and fucks you in all the right places-”

The sound of Taehyung rapidly rising from his seat and desk clattering filled the room, his voice irate with a locked jaw. “Leave, and I will not fucking ask you again.” 

Taehyung’s deep voice held an unwavering sense of authority as his eyes filled with rage, instantly making the woman standoff. It nearly rattled you if you weren’t battling a wave of hurt in your chest right now. 

The woman could only flash a condescending smile, addressing you both. “I’ll leave you two at it then, yeah?” 

She then made her way towards you near the door, eyeing your figure scornfully with every step until she eventually sent you a wink passing by. Her shoulder bumped yours, in a purposeful manner that left you clutching your fists at your sides once she slipped out the door. 

You can’t clock a bitch at your own husband’s company, Y/N, you can’t.  

There was a thick silence that loomed over the office, you trying to compose yourself as Taehyung used every ounce of his strength to ignore what he just saw, attempting to simmer down. 

He suddenly broke the silence, clearing his throat as he refused to meet your eyes. “We should get going, I have reservations-“

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Taehyung flashed his confused eyes to you, expression insulted. “Excuse me?”

“Who the fuck was that?” Your voice was flaring, nearly shouting.

“I’m not in the mood to talk about her.” Taehyung dismissed, reaching to grasp his coat. “Like I said, we should get going.”

“I am not going anywhere with you.”

“Pardon?”

“You think after seeing a woman on you we’re going to just go on our fucking lunch date? Why don’t you bring her along and have her blow you under the table for fuck’s sake?” You questioned with sheer vexation.

“Look, I’ve had a fucking long day, and I am not getting into this. I would like to at least have my marriage be the last of my worries right now.” Taehyung’s voice was entirely snippy and full of attitude, pissing you off by tenfold. 

“Maybe you should’ve fucking thought about that before you decided to have a woman on you, you asshole. You wanna talk about reputation and our public image but you’re seeking the touch of other women?” 

“Excuse me?” Taehyung’s voice grew indignant, scolding you from across the room. “I didn’t do anything with her, she barged into my office unannounced. Don’t make this something it’s not.”

“What it is, is someone needlessly insulting me because of you. Are you not the same man who promised me I had you? Or was that for show too like our fucking date yesterday?” You found that same hurt leaking into your words, tone vastly irritated. 

Taehyung winced hearing you, half at the insult that was thrown your way but that you somehow believed such a sincere promise of his was disingenuous. 

I meant that, he thought. That wasn’t for show. 

“Look, I’m sorry she said that. You didn’t deserve that at all, okay? I’ll have a restraining order filed, and you’ll be safe.” Taehyung offered, though you grew even more irate. 

“Fuck a restraining order, Taehyung, explain yourself!” You shouted. “Why am I having women tell me I’m just another bitch you slept with multiple times until you eventually put a ring on my finger? Or that I’m some pitiful heiress that has you seduced?”

“Is that what those women said to you at the gala?” Taehyung questioned. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it was irrelevant until this! Tell me right now, what the fuck is your past with women? You said nothing was ever serious and yet I have a woman calling me a whore because of you?” You just about spat, hands gesturing profusely to express your anger. 

“It’s not complicated. I’ve spent time with some women, and some of them like to come back.”

“Ah, I got it now. So I’m one of your escapades you liked enough to marry, right? Makes perfect fucking sense, why don’t I start parading around how you fuck in the bedroom too and rub it in everyone’s faces? Would totally make us convincing as a married couple.” You sarcastically chirped, causing Taehyung to sigh out frustrated from behind his desk. 

“Y/N, you know that’s not true. Like I said, let’s not dwell on this, the last thing I need today is my marriage going wrong too.” Taehyung was losing his energy for an argument, searching instead for a way to resolve this, though you seemed eons away from the notion. 

“Well maybe it fucking should, I’m just charity to you anyways, aren’t I?”

Taehyung’s eyebrows knitted in irritation, completely shocked by your audacity. “What did you just say?”

“It’s alright, Taehyung, I get it. Our deal never said anything against seeing other people, and I may not be cutting it for you, right? I’m just the runaway heiress you were forced to choose, so obviously you wouldn’t put me to bed and seek other women instead.” You suggested sardonically, though it only hiked up Taehyung’s temper by tenfold. 

“What the hell is wrong with you? Don’t you dare accuse me of shit like that after I told you nothing happened.” 

“Oh, but I think I should, and especially after what I just saw. We haven’t even fucked yet, right? So go ahead, talk your talk about reputation and our couple image but fuck other women. So long as you keep it quiet, right?” Venom was laced in your every word, and you didn’t even know why these words were coming out of your mouth anymore, but they seemed befitting of your storming emotions, your racing heart. 

“Y/N, like I said, do not make this something it isn’t because I am not having it today. I’m putting my jacket on and we’re going to lunch, end of discussion.” Taehyung was now on his last nerve, containing his anger as he rebuked you. 

He neared his jacket once again until you spat another comeback. “I think you should go alone, sailor, or maybe chase after your little conquest again. She’ll probably be much better company, maybe give you a nice hand job so you can cool the fuck down.”

“You need to cool the fuck down,” Taehyung stressed. “I’ve already had enough of everything today, don’t make me add you to that list.”

You were quick to quip back. “Oh don’t worry, I’m just your charity wife who can’t satisfy your needs anyway, so maybe I should be on that list.”

“For fuck’s sake you’re not a charity-!“

“Fuck you, Kim Taehyung.” You swore, folded arms coiling tighter as you grew more frustrated, utterly done with seeing his face. “I can’t believe I was going to tell you something important too.”

Taehyung became confused, gauging your confession. 

You laughed humourlessly to yourself, watery eyes glistening under the lights of his office. “I was going to tell you I finally landed a deal where I’d get one of my buildings in the Seoul skyline, tell you it’s been my dream ever since my father first did it.” You bit back your turbulent emotions, eyes tearing up. “I was going to tell you everything, tell you how happy it made me..” 

“Y/N..” 

“Don’t ever speak to me again, you asshole.” Your voice broke in the slightest, the words you threw at each other paired with the situation now catching up to you. A tear nearly slipped down your cheek as you made for the door, turning away around until Taehyung protested, voice oddly soft. 

“Y/N, wait.”

“I’m not waiting for anything.”

“Just fucking wait! We can’t make it seem like we had a fight, okay? Jagi-Y/N, just stay and listen to me.“ Taehyung corrected, holding his hands out to halt your movements, though you didn’t care. 

“Oh fucking please! I don’t want to hear anything. You want our marriage to look real, then maybe a little fight or two between husband and wife should look convincing enough, don’t you think?” You shouted through tears brimming your distraught eyes, standing just before his door.

“Y/N, please,” Taehyung begged, too completely drained and concerned for you to be angry now, rather desperate. “I just, I can’t have this today. Not you too.”

You could only scoff disdainfully. “But I’m just another woman you either screwed multiple times into marriage, or a pathetic runaway that does nothing for you.” You breathed shakily. “So what’s the difference if it’s me?”

There was an incredibly miserable silence that haunted you both, in each other’s presence though unable to see each other, understand each other. Taehyung could only stand in silence, wanting to reach out to you without a way how, and only left to hear your last words as you grasped the handle. 

“There’s no lunch today, Taehyung, goodbye.”

And you left his office with a hard slam of his door. 

You’d spent the entire day agonizing, trying to quell the pain you felt in your heart without any reason of understanding why it hurt so much. 

It’s what made you emotionally unavailable for the remainder of your day, eventually trudging back home after work had concluded. 

You climbed the stairs straight to your unfortunately shared bedroom, head consistently swarming with your fight as you brushed Mrs. Seo off about food. 

This was the first time you two have genuinely fought, every other time having been a simple joke or quarrel, and it was bothering you so profusely you couldn’t think of anything else. 

To think you could both argue so severely, it made you question what the remedy even looked like, how you would even reach some sort of resolution. At first, it always seemed as though Taehyung and yourself were more similar than you thought, could oddly comprehend each other on levels uncharted by other people, and against all, atypical odds, you two actually complemented each other well. 

But now? It left your future even more unknown to you. 

It made you realize sometimes Taehyung and yourself just can’t see eye-to-eye, that sometimes your similar personalities can clash, your different values can collide, and it simply left you frightened of what this spelled for you two. 

Is this what spending a lifetime with Taehyung would look like? Would you two always argue this terribly over pressing matters? Would you two always be so bull-headed and not understand the other’s point of view? Throw such awful words at each other that hurt the other? 

The incessant thoughts made you plop onto your covers deflated, sighing at the ceiling above, unable to understand why tears constantly threatened to spill from your eyes, and eventually did so.  

You shouldn’t even be angry in the first place, Taehyung has every right in the world to seek the comfort and touch of other women, it’s not like your marriage was real anyway, and it was true you haven’t been delivering in the category of satisfying a man’s needs. Even if you boldly made out with him just yesterday, who’s to say that’s enough for him? 

Who’s to say you’re enough for him? 

What also seeped into the crevices of your storming mind was the thought that he preached this God-like, impenetrable idea of reputation and public image, yet could so easily put it on the line by having a woman in his office. Even if he claimed to have been doing nothing, what would people say if word got out a woman visited his office, even worse a woman he used to fuck, and then attended lunch with his wife like normal? 

It could’ve been detrimental to his name. 

That aside, it fucking pissed you off to see another woman near seconds from getting on her knees for your husband. 

And it pissed you off even more you were always being referred to as some whore that finally snatched Taehyung up, because it was completely unfair, so utterly untrue and left you bitter to the touch thinking if only they knew. 

If only they knew how hard you battled the universe on your wedding day, how hard it was to throw your life away and work towards building your own name, only to have it all come crashing down because of this marriage. 

To still be hearing the insults as a runaway-heiress, that you were some poor soul Taehyung pitied and took under his wing but won’t fuck, so he gets into other women’s beds for satisfaction. 

If only they knew how undeserving you already felt, how this marriage and your lifestyle has you drained from nearly every aspect of your life. Having your mother tell you you’re lucky Taehyung even put a ring around your worthless finger, that your marriage now keeps your brother Yoongi you miss so terribly even further away from Korea the more you don’t participate in your father’s company. That you’re nothing but an ungrateful stubborn brat to your father outside of this matrimony, and an even bigger one with Taehyung. 

If only they fucking knew, how hard this all was. How marrying a Kim means your farce needs to be perfect all the time, that you’ll be judged, ridiculed and belittled for your every move. That your husband is only nice to you because he needs to be, because he was forced to choose you. 

It was all too much, just so fucking much you needed a moment to simply cry. To relieve the stress, the insults, the constant feeling of unworthiness that overwhelmed your emotions. 

So you cried, cried until you became devoid of emotion and eventually drifted off into a slumber, your raging thoughts disappearing along with your consciousness. 

“Sir, you’d like to be driven home today?” His chauffer asked from behind the wheel as Taehyung climbed into the back of his Merc, cold air shut out once he closed the door. 

“Yes, I’m not in the right mind to drive.” Taehyung finalized as he clicked on his seatbelt, signaling to the driver he wasn’t in the mood to talk, and so he ignited the engine instead of pressing further. 

Taehyung sighed out once the car began moving, watching the world pass him by emptily as he folded his arms, defeated. Taehyung’s entire figure was downcast, mind floating around aimlessly as he constantly recalled the argument throughout the day. 

He knew he shouldn’t have gotten so pissed and raised his voice, it was only because he’d had a terrible day, and you just caught him at the wrong time.

Your accusations did sincerely hurt him, though, because he was insulted you could think so lowly of him, that if only you knew how adamantly he rejected the woman before you came in. 

If only you knew how utterly wrong everything you claimed was, that you were different to him, and always have been. 

Taehyung exhaled tiredly once again, settling on a new motive for today considering you must already be home. 

“Mr. Kang, could you take a right from here?” 

“But sir, that’s not the way-” 

“I know, we’re making a stop before I go home.” 

Your eyes fluttered open at the sound of your door clicking open, without knowledge of the time as you registered the luminous moonlight from outside the balcony doors bleeding in, a scattered reflection filling the room’s darkness. 

You stirred in your bed, a little annoyed having your much needed sleep disturbed, and you grumbled with a fatigued voice. 

“Mrs. Seo, I told you I’d come downstairs if I was hungry-”

“I’m not Mrs. Seo.” 

Your eyes cracked all the way open, lightyears away from sleep now hearing Taehyung’s low voice reverberate in your shared bedroom. You didn’t know why he was here, convinced he would’ve spent the rest of today elsewhere or locked up in his study. You decided to ignore him instead, your back faced towards him as you remained in a laid position.  

You heard him shut the door behind himself, the soles of his shoes contacting the floor as you heard the odd rustling of something in his hand. 

He seemed to have made his way over to the bed, placing something of possibly paper down as the telling sound of him shredding off his suit jacket met your ears. You could make out more rustling as he seemed to have grasped the other item again, nestling it onto his empty side of the bed and sitting down on the edge himself.

It was unmistakable the scent that caught your nose, the familiar smell bringing your mind temporary peace. 

Peonies.  

The bed had dipped under his weight, causing you to curl yourself up knowing he was there, the tension thick. There was silence, the sound of nothing filling your room until he eventually spoke. 

“Did I wake you?” 

“Yes.” 

He fiddled with his fingers for a bit. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t speak to me.” 

You heard him exhale tiredly, addressing you again. “Y/N..” 

“Didn’t I just tell you not to talk to me?” 

Taehyung placed his elbow on his knees as he clasped his hands over his lips, answering you. “I know, but I want to talk to you.” 

“You shouldn’t.” 

“Just hear me out, please. Just this once. It’s all I ask.” Taehyung practically beseeched, his voice sounding like the honey you’ve heard before.  

And it made you acquiesce. 

“Look, I’ll make this clear. Because of my work, I’ve never had time for dating, so I’ve slept with women casually.” Taehyung clarified, speaking pacifyingly. “But I’ve never once allowed a woman to come to my home, you’re the first one to ever lay in my bed.” 

Your eyebrows perked up, shocked by the unforeseen confession. 

“I haven’t slept with anyone ever since our engagement, and I did absolutely nothing with that woman in my office.” Taehyung paused, thinking about his next statement. 

“I would never cheat on you, I’m not the type.” 

Taehyung then took a deep breath, almost readying himself to reveal this. “You know, you’ve always talked about how we didn’t choose each other, so it makes you believe I’m stuck with you against my will or something. But you don’t know, Y/N... I did choose you.” 

Your eyes widened in bewilderment, clutching your hands to your chest as you listened carefully. 

“You probably know my father gave me an ultimatum about you. But what you don’t know is that ultimatum was only for meeting you, not choosing you.” Taehyung relayed pointedly, your eyebrows shooting up in surprise. 

“My father was only pressuring me to get married. Yes there was an incentive marrying you specifically because I felt like I owed your father for our deal, but I still could’ve said no. I could’ve met someone else and moved on.” He breathed out, moving to his next sentence. 

“But after I met you, Y/N, I didn’t want to settle on someone else. I wanted to choose you because you were different, you weren’t like any other woman I’d met.” Taehyung confessed, his voice hesitant though determined to prove his point. 

“You were never some less-than heiress to me. I saw you as someone admirable. Someone strong enough to defy the status-quo us heirs are forced to live in, and I’ve never once regretted my decision.” 

Taehyung was grasping his hands together harder now, unfamiliar with being so candid though oddly okay knowing it’s you. “So I don’t like when you say I only think of you as charity, as a woman I don’t want, because I’ve never thought of you that way.” He stressed, tone persuasive. 

“You’re you, and that makes you different.” 

You could’ve been choking if it weren’t for the fact that you were laying down, storming emotions now dissipating once soaking in his confessions. 

“And there’s genuity behind my words, I’m not a deceitful or manipulative man who makes empty promises. I should’ve been more clear from the start about my past with women, and today you just.. caught me on a bad day. Nothing went right at work, and I was stressed. I’m sorry I took it out on you.. I didn’t mean to do that.” 

There was something almost devastating laced in Taehyung’s voice, like he was reprimanding himself for his own behaviour, and it automatically made you feel extremely guilty. 

You were way too quick to make assumptions about Taehyung, jumping to conclusions that were far from the truth and now it dawned on you you only made Taehyung’s day 100x worse. You should’ve been there for him as comfort, some sort of solace so that his day wasn’t so mentally draining, but you instead accused him of terrible things with no proof and aggravated everything. 

The guilt made your head spin, rising into a seated position and turning over to in fact see a bouquet of peonies beside you, eyes nearly watering he even remembered your favourite flowers when you were so awful to him. 

He was seated a few inches away with his head in his hands, clearly distressed and troubled, and you despised you were partly the reason for it. 

How could you have so easily blamed Taehyung? You didn’t even register the fact that when you did walk in, Taehyung didn’t even look like a culpable man, he seemed rejective of the woman. 

And now you were spiraling, thinking this entire argument was just your dumb mistake. How could you have let yourself turn into some jealous maniac and make him go through this? 

You felt incredibly apologetic, regretful, but now seeking to comfort him like you should’ve against the odds of his awful day, should’ve understood and heard him out. 

You shuffled over to Taehyung on your shins, his broad back to you. If he noticed your presence behind him, he didn’t make it obvious, remaining leaned over onto his knees tiredly

You pressed your dainty palm to his back, swallowing as you contemplated if you could do something more intimate. Your hand remained still, battling the decision to move closer to him until Taehyung suddenly shrugged off your touch, voice firm. 

“I don’t need comfort, I’m fine.” 

You felt slightly discouraged, though remained determined to reach him. “I should’ve been there for you on such a stressful day.” 

“I can handle my stress on my own, I don’t need anyone.” Taehyung stated blankly, though you didn’t feel like listening to him. 

In an irrational action, you moved forward and tentatively draped your arms around Taehyung from behind, your chest flush against his back. Your small arms caged around his, chin coming to rest on his shoulder as Taehyung’s resistant voice reprimanded you. 

“Y/N, I said I don’t need-” 

“No, this is my fault. I’m so sorry I said those awful things to you, you didn’t deserve that, you didn’t deserve that at all.” Your voice was solemn as you hugged around him tighter, Taehyung holding one of your wrists to loosen your grip. 

“That’s fine, but I don’t need help, I can handle stress by myself.” Taehyung was trying to undo your hold around him though you only embraced him closer in response, one of your hands hooking onto his shoulder as the other enclosed his biceps. 

You didn’t understand why you felt so adamant about doing this, but you found your face nuzzling into his neck to just reach him, to speak to him in earnest. 

“You don’t have to.. Taehyung.” You said, clutching onto him for dear life. “You don’t have to do everything on your own, you have me.” 

“I don’t need your pity, Y/N. I’m fine, let go of me.” 

“No, I’m not going anywhere, I’m here.” 

“I don’t need help.” Taehyung stressed, trying to loosen your grip again. “Just let me go-” 

“No, I’m not letting you go, Taehyung.” You grasped him as hard as you could, tenacious in never leaving him alone.

“I don’t want to let go.” Your voice became soft, almost endearing as you snuggled further into the junction of his neck and were met by the scent of his cologne. It was just like him, masculine and soothing, and it wasn’t long before you released a relieved breath, glad that you had him so near, glad that your fight was so useless now. 

Taehyung fought his inner turmoil trying to reject your hold, though he felt so entirely warm in your touch he ultimately relaxed, accepting it, a calming breath leaving his body. He sensed the storm in his mind dissipating, the cold ice of his habitually lonely thoughts melting away underneath your hug. 

It made him bask in you, sinking into your comfort as his one hand held your forearm, and the other came up to cradle the back of your head, lightly ruffling the soft tresses of your hair with a smile. He almost allowed tears to prick at his eyes, never having felt such a moving sense of support from anyone. 

Maybe Taehyung felt the hug of his mother when he scrapped his knee at a young age, maybe the embrace of his little cousins whenever he visited them, and maybe sometimes when his friends provided their own version of comfort through sincere text messages and a momentary hug. 

But never in his life has Taehyung allowed another woman to simply hug him like this, and he found every reason in the world to think it’s okay if it’s you. 

Because everything he said today was true, you’ve always been different, and there’s nobody quite like you. 

Taehyung swallowed his emotions down thinking he didn’t want to ruin a pure moment like this with sadness, your warmth alleviating the stress along with his negative thoughts.  

Taehyung suddenly positioned himself on the bed to face you, his eyes meeting your glistening ones he couldn’t ever resist. Your arms remained loosely draped around him, meeting his eyes with an expectant look. Taehyung’s hands set around your face, a palm against your cheek as the other brushed hair behind your ear. 

“I’m sorry.” He said, his eyes darting almost adoringly all over the pretty features of your face. 

“I’m sorry, too. I was just.. scared of what would happen to your name, if people found out.” You apologized, only left to swim in the warm brown of Taehyung’s eyes. 

He smiled gratefully, finding your consideration for his reputation endearing of you. His gaze began switching between your doe-eyes and the plush of your lips, moving closer as he lost thought. He held your face, inching closer as his breathe tickled your skin the more proximal he became. 

You drew closer as well, closing your eyes as you felt Taehyung’s lips softly press against yours. You sighed into his kiss, thinking you’ve never once felt such a tender touch in your lifetime, reflective in the way you caught his lips in yours. 

Taehyung opened up his mouth to kiss you fervently, the sweet sound of your lips meeting each other making you feel fuzzy. Your grasp on his shirt tightened the more the heat picked up, relishing in the taste of him as he worked against your mouth passionately. 

Taehyung then laid you down onto the bed slowly, your back meeting the cold of the sheets as he climbed on top of you. One of Taehyung’s hands faltered from your face to encase the side of your ribcage, causing you to arch as his other palm held your cheek. 

He began kissing you with something more hungry, something more ardent. Small groans were leaving you as a result of your core lighting up, Taehyung’s hot mouth swallowing your every sound. Your hands slid up his neck to meet the tresses of his fluffy hair, fingers tugging as it seemed to turn him on. 

With a satisfied groan from his mouth, he pressed his thigh into your now pulsing entrance, his hand on your waist smoothing over your clothes until he eventually slipped his warm palms underneath your blouse. The sensation made your breath hitch, melting into Taehyung’s pleasurable touch until a sudden intrusive thought filled you with fear. The ghost of someone else’s uncaring, cold hands made you practically freeze up underneath him.  

You remembered Kiseok out of nowhere, mind frenzying and you quickly pushed Taehyung off your lips, eyes scared. 

He looked down at your alarmed expression and immediately apologized. “Shit, I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“No, no! It’s not you, it’s-it’s me. I just remembered.. I just felt, I-” You tried to say a coherent sentence but your brain was spazzing out, hands smacking over your mouth to stop your babbling. 

Taehyung could read you in an instant, connecting the telling dots. 

“It’s him, isn’t it?” He questioned, soft eyes looking into yours. 

“Yes, I’m sorry. I just remembered something and I freaked out, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry-”

“Hey,” Taehyung’s thumb began massaging at your skin underneath your clothes. “It’s okay, it’s not him, Y/N. It’s me.” Taehyung’s dulcet voice spoke pacifyingly, soothing eyes gazing into your near panicked ones. “It’s just me.” 

You don’t know washed over you, but knowing it was Taehyung, the Taehyung you’ve had the wonderful privilege of getting to know, the kind Taehyung who nursed your wounded cheek and protected you on multiple occasions, the Taehyung that told you he loves snow and promised to take care of you. Knowing it was him, his touch warm and tender, rather than piercing and rushed like you’ve felt before, there was no reason to worry, no reason to push him away. 

You smiled as he returned your grin, your hands meeting his chiseled jaw to pull him back down to your lips, Taehyung happily complying.

He returned for more kisses, mouthing at you until sucking at your bottom lip until he teasingly bit at the plushy flesh and pulled them by his teeth. The way he looked at you was purely devilish, practically smirking with his eyes as he popped off your mouth, and you ignited with something akin to fire. 

You tugged him back down harshly and his tongue began poking at your mouth, yours opening up completely and he slithered inside, your tongue tangling with his ardently. 

Your wet muscles tasted each other in a delicious tandem, his hips grinding against you and your body moved in near lethal synchronicity with his, the hand underneath your blouse traversing your bare skin arousingly. 

Your breaths were catching up on each other until Taehyung disconnected, lips flushed pink with blown out eyes as he regarded you with something indistinguishable, your own eyes giving away adoration as you looked at him.

Taehyung returned by shoving his lips to the underside of your jaw, moving to your pulse point to suck more of his desire onto you, reviving his marks from yesterday. He nearly ate at your skin, mouthing tirelessly until you were squirming underneath him and more of his purple marks blossomed across your neck. 

You could tell he liked marking. 

You gasped out in pleasure, lewd sounds escaping your mouth as your hands hugged his head to your neck. Hips bucking up into his senselessly, a pleasurable groan left the back of Taehyung’s throat as his hardening length pressed your center. 

Taehyung’s mouth began canvasing down to your collarbones, kissing and licking them hotly before he shifted his weight onto his shoulder and suddenly exclaimed, grimacing in pain. 

“Ah, fuck.”

“What’s wrong?” You asked, hands holding his face.  

He managed his weight on top of you with one arm, working his left arm in order to gauge the pain. “My shoulder, it’s been bothering me all day.” 

“Did you take any medicine?” 

“I took painkillers for my headache. Don’t think it did anything for my shoulder.” He informed as he winced moving the muscles, clearly in pain. 

You pushed him up into an upright position, letting him sit in front of you with mussed hair and swollen lips, massaging the joint. You blushed at the fact his disheveled state was the result of kissing you, though you trashed the idea once he exclaimed in pain again. 

“Ah, stop moving it, turn around.” You pushed at his chest to get him to turn. He listened and positioned himself with his back to you, your hand over his shoulder as you settled behind him. “Take your shirt off, I can look at the muscle.” 

“Oh? You’re not shy about seeing me shirtless anymore?” Taehyung remarked, obviously relating back to your first night sleeping together and you smacked at his shoulder. 

“Hey, not the time.” Taehyung reeled at your hit, his exclamation melding into a laugh as you spoke. “You gotta strip for me, Kim. Take it off so I can see.” 

“Since when are you a doctor?” He quirked his eyebrows. 

“Since I took kinesiology in university. I know muscles, take off your shirt already. Or are you shy about showing me some skin, cuddler boy?” You quipped at his ego. 

“I mean, I saw some of your skin in the shower yesterday, it’s only fair I show you mine.” He snickered evilly as you recalled the shower incident, mouthing falling agape.

“What? You said you didn’t look!” You hit him again as punishment and Taehyung cried out, laughing through pain. 

“Ow, I was kidding! I only saw your shoulders.” 

“Good, now take this shirt off before I make your shoulder worse.” You scolded him, on your knees as you yanked at his shirt. 

Taehyung quickly admitted defeat. “Okay, okay, if my princess wants me to strip, I’ll strip.” You almost hit him again until he worked the buttons of his shirt, peeling off the fabric from his shoulders and you were reminded again of just how large Taehyung really is. 

Your eyes ogled at the size of his shoulder blades, impressed by how masculine his features were; his lean muscle, broad back, your hands having a mind of their own as they began travelling over his skin. You were moving quite aimlessly until Taehyung’s teasing voice lifted you from your trance. 

“See something you like?” 

Your cheeks heated up, scandalized. “I-I’m just looking at your muscles.” 

“Mmm, sure. Wanna add em’ to the list of things you like about me?” Taehyung was clearly having too much fun with this as a pretty laugh escaped him, you having enough of his teasing. 

“That’s it, I’m leaving you alone.” You propped off the bed and walked away, Taehyung protesting after you. 

“Y/N, come back. I’ll stop.” He whined as he stood to his feet, gesturing his open arms for you to come to, though you teased him back instead. 

“Nope, you’ve lost your opportunity for my massages and my lips you like oh so much, bread crust boy.” 

You could’ve sworn a blush crept onto Taehyung’s cheeks, clearly remembering his candid confession of what he liked about you. “Yah, come here.” 

“I think I remember some about my eyes too, right?” You pulled at his leg, Taehyung’s bottom lip jutting out in a near pout. 

“Hey, this is unfair, come back to me.” 

“You’ll have to catch me if you want me back, Mr. Kim.” You eyed him playfully as you bolted off, sprinting across your bedroom to work the lock of the balcony doors.  

“You’re going outside? It’s cold!” Taehyung proclaimed in complaint, dragging his feet for you as you swung the balcony doors open. You ran out into the cold winter air, chilling your bones though you didn’t really care when you had a near shirtless Kim Taehyung hot on your trail. 

“Then I guess you’ll have to catch me to keep warm!” You teased comically, amused as you watched him scramble outside for you. Giggles came from you as you dodged his arms, both of you pacing around each other as Taehyung’s endearing chuckles filled the night air.  

You started slowing down once the running caught up to your lungs, coming to a momentary halt as Taehyung finally snatched you up. His arms wrapped entirely around your torso, practically lifting you off the ground as you exclaimed through defeated laughs. 

“Okay, Taehyung, you got me, you got me! Let me go!” You struggled in his hold, squirming for him to loosen his grasp though he didn’t let up. 

“Nope, you’re my only warmth now, not letting go.” Taehyung announced while biting back a wide smile. He rested his chin atop your head and his iron lock brought you to a settled state, accepting his hold around you. 

You became slightly shy thinking Taehyung’s bare front was pressed against your back, your hands resting over his as you both shivered together, only each other’s body heat for warmth.  

“I’m practically anemic, Tae. I’m always cold.” You giggled as you dissed yourself. 

Taehyung breathed through his nose in a small laugh, speaking with the baritone of his voice that resonated in your back. 

“You’ve always been warm to me.” 

Your lips curved into a gleeful smile, basking in the feeling of his safe arms wrapped around you without the judgmental stare of others like at the amusement park. It was just you and him, and you simply enjoyed the moment, eyes finding stars above your entangled bodies. 

“Oh my God, the stars.” You pointed upwards, peering at the pretty constellations above your heads and Taehyung looked up as well. 

“Wow, this is my first time seeing stars in ages.” Taehyung commented, eyes soaking in the shine of their light. 

You could only snicker, quipping at him as he admired the sky. “All because I came into your life, right?” 

Taehyung could tell it was meaningless joke on your end, his teasing always matched with your own, but what you didn’t know was how much the stars had always meant to Taehyung. 

And that your playful statement beckoned him to reminisce. 

The sky was the only solace he found as a child, often peering up to be set free from his pre-determined, controlling life. Even in his young teenaged years he tried to believe in galaxies as much as he could, using it as some make-shift escape from his restrictive world. 

Though as the years progressed, and Taehyung become completely sucked into the world of business, he’d lost all touch with such a concept, and lost the significance it once harbored. He’d stopped believing in any galaxy whatsoever, stopped taking a moment to look up at the sky and solely lived for the purpose of achieving greatness in his name. 

But with you, he often earned small instances of reprieve just like this. A moment where it felt like his ever-progressive world had stopped, like he could finally see those same stars he used to look up at. 

Except now, as he glanced down at your doe-eyes reflecting the luminescent lights, pretty stars scattered within them, he couldn’t help but admire their reflections in your eyes more. He wanted to look into them for longer, wondering if he’d always be able to see the same gleam of starlight in your eyes like this.  

And that maybe his solace isn’t the sky anymore. 

“Yeah, it is.” His arms coiled around you tighter, clutching onto you like you so desperately clutched onto him earlier. His face dipped into your shoulder, feeling every ounce of worry and stress from today float up into a cloud of nothing, soaking in your warm presence without thought of the cold. 

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Taehyung asked by your ear, calm and quiet. 

“Me? Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering.” He hummed. 

“Mm, well, I was actually taking the day off. Hana wants me to look for her wedding gift in our gigantic hoard.” 

Taehyung snorted. “I shouldn’t even tell you the amount of money people gave us.” 

“Please don’t, it’ll make me hunt down each person by fingerprint analysis and give it back.” You feigned disgust, leaning yourself back into his warmth.

“And that’s exactly why I didn’t tell my stubborn wife.” 

You grinned sheepishly at Taehyung so casually referring to you as his wife. “You’re stubborn too, don’t think I’m the only one.” 

“You’re way more stubborn,” Taehyung argued. “I could give you the world and you’d probably only take a blade of grass.” 

“If you gave me the world I’d just give it back to you.” 

“Exactly, because you’re more stubborn.” He retorted, proud of his remark as your mind rather went into thought, your next words reflecting your meditative mind. 

“No, because you deserve the world more than I do.”

You said it so softly, his warm hold around you the epitome of comfort as you forgot the winter chill, the seeming care radiating off his body sinking into your bones that have been so conditioned to feel unloved. You could only puff air through your nose in a laugh to yourself, thinking Taehyung felt like a remedy to nearly every dark part of yourself, like he eased you in ways nobody else ever could. 

And it made you think Taehyung really is such a misunderstood person, because despite his hard stares and guarded walls, there was a man who simply had a kind soul. 

There was a poignant pause as Taehyung became shocked, never having been told something so.. sentimental. His heart strings were practically being tugged at, feeling your grip on his hands tighten. Taehyung nestled you closer to him, mumbling calmly by your ear as his face found the crook of your neck. 

“Only because you deserve a universe.” 

You both basked in the sweet moment together, hearts utterly filled to the brim with something indistinguishable, something you both had no way of identifying. The pair of you ignored the feeling and let the unspeakable sensation permeate the air instead, tranquility seeping into the pair of you in the quietness of the moment. 

Until Taehyung suddenly perked up. 

“Hey, is the reason why you didn’t go near the railing on your first day here because you’re afraid of heights?”

“W-what? No, totally not afraid of some balcony.” You brushed him off with a fake laugh way too casually, and Taehyung caught on. 

“You know it’s only two stories up, right? You could survive a fall that high.” 

“Taehyung, don’t say that!” You whined out in fear, and Taehyung could only chuckle heartily at your cute protest. 

“Hana, shut up before I end this call.” You threatened your best friend on the other line, rested on your shins in your walk-in closet. “I literally took the day off just so I could look through these wedding gifts for yours, cut to the chase.” 

“Hey, not my fault you two looked all lovey-dovey at an amusement park after you tell me you guys are fake, who even asked out who? Captain hard stare or you?” 

“Look, at our first event a lot of people made snarky comments about our marriage seeming fake, so we agreed on looking more couply.” 

“No fucking kidding, you think I didn’t spit my drink out when I saw that photo of Taehyung on his knees fixing your dress?” Hana snorted on the other end. “Ma’am, I salute you for getting the Kim Taehyung on his knees for you, tell us the secret babe.” 

“Hana, he wasn’t even on his knees.” 

“Whatever you say, Casanova.” Hana drawled into the phone. “But seriously though, has he gotten on his knees for you yet.. you know.. in that way?” 

“Hana, shut the fuck up.” 

“I’m curious! Word on the street is Taehyung’s packing, the kind that fucks up your insides.” 

“Why are you talking so casually about my husband’s fucking?” You deadpanned, crossing your arms.  “You really wanna tell me that after I fought with him yesterday about his past with women?”

“Look, just remember what Taehyung said to you about them. It seriously seems like none of those girls mean to him what you mean to him.” 

“... why do you say that?” 

“I saw all the photos of you guys on your date and to be honest, the shit he did didn’t seem fake.” 

“It was for the cameras, Hana.” 

She scoffed on the other side of the line. “Sure, if that helps you sleep at night. Fuck, both of you just looked really real, and that’s coming from someone who knows about your marriage.” 

You pondered over her statement for a moment until you finally found the stupid red box Hana kept preaching. “Oh, hey! I think I found your gift.” 

“Really? Finally, I spent way too much on this fucker.” Hana complained. 

“What the hell is it? The box feels too light.” You shook it around for good measure.

“You’ll see when you open it, Casanova.” 

“Hana, I’m literally the furthest thing from a Casanova, shut up?” 

“Says the one who got Kim Taehyung on his knees to fix your dress like your servant.” She accused you, imagining her drinking a petty sip of something in a glass. 

“He wasn’t on his knees, Hana. He just fixed it to be nice” 

“Well, quick fucking reminder he bought you that dress too. Let’s see how fast you can get him on his knees with something I bought you.” 

“What do you..” Your words faded once you lifted the lid of the box and lost all function. Your eyes bugged out at seeing a red lacey lingerie set, clearly satin in fabric and so scandalous you audibly gasped. 

“Hana! What the fuck is this?!” You hissed into the phone, slapping the lid back over the box like you’d removed the Holy Grail. 

“Surprise! You seriously owe me for this one, I had to talk to his CEO friends just to find out what he likes. Made myself look like a damn fool asking at the wedding.” 

“Oh God, don’t even remind me of the guys at the wedding.” You held a hand to your temple in shame. “I still feel terrible I was such a fucked up, unavailable mess I never got to meet them. I don’t know how the fuck Taehyung and I both have so much family.” 

You recalled the awful memory of being dragged around to snobby, intrusive relatives and ‘important people’ all night, having missed the guys as they were busy themselves, shivering at the sheer amount of social skills you had to conjure in a near catatonic state. 

You also would’ve been taken by the sentiment of Hana’s gift, but all that was running through your mind was a racy lingerie set tucked away in a closet you shared with Taehyung, constantly reminding you where in God’s name you were even going to hide this. 

“Hana, that’s fucking sweet of you but what the hell?! Red, satin and lace? I’m not a Victoria’s Secret model!” 

“It’s all his favourites, apparently. And you’re very much runway worthy, though I don’t think Captain hard stare would want people eyeing his woman if you walked down the runway in that.” She preached as if she were Taehyung’s wing woman, making you unfortunately realize your best friend and your husband were both equally quick-witted. 

Great.

“I’m not walking anywhere in this. I can’t pull off lingerie, and especially not in front of Taehyung. My cheeks would literally melt off my face if that happened.”

“Why? You guys haven’t done anything at all?” 

You became sheepish answering her question, thighs rubbing together as you admitted the truth. “Um.. not-not really.” 

“Oh? Nothing at all?” She asked out sheer curiosity.  

“We’ve really only made out.” 

“Are you-!” Hana almost exclaimed loudly until she calmed down. “Actually, you know what? That’s okay, Y/N. I know Kiseok was an asshole and he makes sex hard for you, but you’re seriously a woman of steel resisting Taehyung.” She commended you whole-heartedly. 

“You can kick me later for this but that’s the hottest man I’ve seen in my entire life, how haven’t you jumped him yet? I would’ve.” 

“You think I don’t know that, I live with him!” 

“Exactly! So you know him, Y/N, and you know he’s not an asshole, you can let loose around him.” Hana explained. “That’s why I got the set, you were already forced into this like he was, the least you two could do is have some fun together.” 

“Hana-”

“Nope, don’t do that with me. Don’t tell me you’re not pretty enough or something because I’ll bite your elbow. You’re a gorgeous girl who deserves to get railed every night, don’t think you’re not enough for him or something, Y/N. I can tell by the way he treats you you’re more than enough.” 

“How are you so sure?” 

Hana paused on the other line, sighing before giving her answer. “You know how I met Taehyung’s friends at the wedding?” 

“Yeah?” 

“They talked about him, they were mainly cracking jokes but they ended up saying the way he acts with you...” Hana relayed carefully. “It’s different.” 

“But that was during the wedding, we barely knew each other then.” 

“Exactly, and you told me that all along Taehyung actually did choose you, so stop questioning your worth when it comes to him, your worthy enough that he chose you.” 

You could only dwell on Hana’s thoughts, sincerely glad you had such a supportive friend. 

It made you think about how you’re not the greatest friend. “You know, I’ll always be sorry I keep you and Yoongi apart. You’re worthy to him too, you know. He just gets really caught up with work.”

Hana was silence for a moment before she joked. “Please, you know I already know that. It’s just... hard to tell.. with us.” 

“I know, but I know my brother, Hana. The way he looks at you is different too.” 

“We’ll see about that,” She brushed off the sentimental conversation. “Now try the set on.” 

“Pardon?” 

“Hello? I spent a shitload on it, you better try it on and send me a photo of yourself.” She instructed you harshly. 

“You want me to send you nudes?” 

“It’s not nudes if you’re wearing lingerie, genius, I need proof you at least tried it on before you let it waste away.” 

“Ugh, fine. I’m hanging up and trying it on.” 

“Good, you better send me a picture after or else I’ll call you every minute until you pick up.” She threatened very seriously, and you rolled your eyes. 

“Yeah, yeah, bye.” You ended the call, sighing when your sight fell to the gift in front of you. The red of the box should’ve given it away, but you always were a bit of dumbass, so what’s it to you?

You uncovered the lid once again, casting it aside to take the set out. You regretfully began undressing yourself in the closet to wiggle into the contraption, spotting a satin red robe as an extra part of the set in the box and you groaned, foregoing it. Once you actually figured the lingerie out, you looked at yourself in the mirror, swiveling around to catch sight of your every curve. 

It perfectly fit you. 

Damn you, Hana. 

It was definitely salacious as you glanced at your reflection, bra designed as half a racy bodice that tied in the front, pushing up your boobs into round globes. There was a strip of lace that lined the bodice’s edges, garters that came down from it and hooked around your thighs, practically serving them on a platter. The panties were of stain fabric with some cotton inside (good news for your vagina), lace adorning it’s cut outs as it thinned into three small straps around your hips. 

Safe to say, Hana did not pull a single punch with this one. 

You felt shy wearing the set at first, though admired how it actually accentuated all the right parts of you, displaying your body in ways that if it any man saw you right now, you were sure they’d be on their knees like Hana said. 

You snatched your phone and snapped a single mirror shot of yourself, conscientiously sending it off to Hana with an angry text you were going to take it off. You worked for the tie until you decided to look at yourself a little longer, turning your body around and biting your lip thinking you were wearing apparently everything Taehyung likes. 

The red you knew about, but he’s a lace guy, and especially satin?

Amusing, you’re using this against him one day. 

“Mr. Kim, you’re leaving early today?” Mrs. Lee asked as she peeked out from behind her computer screen. 

“Yes, could you reschedule that last meeting I had.” Taehyung shut his office door as he asked. “I’ve made other plans.” 

“Of course, I could do that.” She clicked at her keyboard, seemingly focused on a task until she asked. “Though may I ask of your other plans?” 

“Nowhere in particular.” Taehyung shrugged. 

“Hmm, I see.” Taehyung smiled at her as he began stepping out of his office quarters and into the hallway, Mrs. Lee’s voice suddenly reaching him. 

“Have fun with Mrs. Kim!” 

He stopped dead in his tracks and poked his head back in, never having said a name. 

“Mrs. Lee, I.. never mentioned Mrs. Kim.” Taehyung’s eyes held a hint of embarrassment, lips jutted out. 

“You have your Mrs. Kim smile on, sir. It’s alright if you’re going to see her.” 

Taehyung felt like he was being very easily read, and he was suddenly reminded why he hired Mrs. Lee in the first place. She’d always been excellent at figuring him out, taking note of the smallest things about him whether it be preference, habits or character traits, and that made his job a thousand times easier. 

Though in a situation like this, he felt like someone caught red-handed. “I.. um.. I just wanted to take her out. I’ll catch up on the remainder of my work at home.” Taehyung scratched the back of his neck. 

“Of course, sir. Enjoy the rest of your day.” 

Taehyung nodded shyly and began pacing further down the hallway, Mrs, Lee’s final words echoing off the walls. 

“Say hello to Mrs. Kim for me!” She cheered, Taehyung smacking his forehead as the elevator doors closed. 

You still hadn’t found a reason to take off the set, comically posing and fooling around without knowledge of how much time had passed. You stood still in front of the mirror for a moment, playing with your hair for it to fall into different styles. You were completely unsuspecting when you suddenly saw the closet door in the mirror’s view open, though became utterly horrified hearing a voice you knew all too well. 

Your husband’s voice.

“Y/N, I’m home-” 

He stiffened entirely on spot ambling in, his jaw dropping to practically the center of the earth. 

Your eyes widened in terror, your reflection looking back at Taehyung’s slack jaw and blown out eyes as he caught sight of your scantily-clad figure. You turned around rapidly to face him, arms trying to cover what little you could, so frozen up you couldn’t even consider yelling at him.  

“T-Taehyung, w-when did you get home?” 

Taehyung’s mouth opened and closed multiple times trying to construct a sentence, though he couldn’t think of a single coherent thing. His eyes could not for the life of him leave your figure, because holy fuck. 

He could see your wedding gifts sprawled around you, clearly having unwrapped one and somehow wearing his favourite everything on a woman. 

His sight darted around the skin he’s never once seen before; your breasts, your stomach, your thighs, and he swallowed dryly soaking in the lace hugging your body. He was completely captivated looking at his wife wrapped like a Christmas present in front of him. 

He then realized it was evidently a mistake he caught you like this and averted his ogling eyes, blinking numerous times to erase the erotic image and thoughts from his mind. 

But to no fucking avail, it was already imprinted so deeply in his brain he’d never forget it even after he died. 

“I.. uh, um.. I was just-I left work early because I wanted... to take you out on a surprise date.” Taehyung cleared his throat as his eyes kept coming back to scan you, hand clutching the door open as he malfunctioned. “What.. what-what’re you doing?” 

“O-oh I was just um.. was looking through our wedding gifts.. like I told you.” You wanted the ground to swallow you whole, squishing your thighs together as if it would conceal something, because this is by far the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever experienced. 

“Right, right.” Taehyung nodded senselessly trying to look away, though his eyes had a mind of their own as he found himself sneaking glances at the garters around your thighs, fucking garters. The satin was practically beckoning him, and the red lace paired with your nearly spilled out breasts sent blood places it really shouldn’t be right now. 

“Do you.. um, want to go out today?” He repeated his question, Adam’s apple bobbing extremely hard as he kept mentally reprimanding himself for his greedy glances.   

Your eyes followed the action, hugging around your body tighter to hide but it really only made your breasts pop more, Taehyung losing his sanity at the thoughts plaguing him.  

“Sure.. maybe in-in an hour?” 

“Sure. Sounds great.” Taehyung profusely nodded to himself as he started making his exit urgently, you calling him back. 

“Taehyung!” 

“Y-yeah?” He poked his head back in, eyes trained on only your face.  

“Could you-you know, maybe um.. forget this happened? I was just trying it on because Hana bought it and wouldn’t leave me alone until I did. P-please?” You pleaded guilelessly, and Taehyung could never understand how you were so innocent yet your body and actions sometimes were the utter opposite. 

“Oh yeah, of course, totally.” Taehyung waved off. “Erased, gone, Neuralyzed from my brain, what are we even talking about?” Taehyung stuttered out rapidly, your lips curving into a grateful smile. 

“Thanks.” 

He coughed. “Don’t mention it.”

Taehyung then quickly vacated his room with a deep breath and his mind racing, you squirming to put some actual clothes on. 

It was almost an hour later and you’d seen no sight of Taehyung as you readied yourself for your date, especially to your liking because you still felt extremely embarrassed about everything. 

You carefully walked down the stairs in pantyhose and a dress as you were met by quite literally nobody in the house. You didn’t spot Mrs. Choi or Seo where they should’ve been in the kitchen, finding it even more odd Taehyung was nowhere to be seen. 

You glanced around skeptically, considering whether or not everyone abandoned you as some sort of joke. Sauntering onto the first floor, your attention was stolen by the bouquet of pretty peonies you swiped into a vase earlier today on the dining table. 

You touched the petals delicately, reminiscent smile finding your lips upon remembering Taehyung bought them with you in mind. 

Admiring them was taking up your time until you glanced over at the kitchen, spotting some stray water around the sink, finding that odd. 

You quirked an eyebrow, thinking it looked too untidy for such precise people like Mrs. Choi and Seo. Ticking your head to the side, you set your purse and phone done against the island’s counter, grasping a paper towel to clean up the water. 

You were minding your own business in the midst of wiping down the mess, distracted until someone’s large hands abruptly grappled onto the edge of sink around you, caging you completely in with their arms from behind.  

You gasped, recognizing the slender, masculine hands with pretty bracelets adorning his one wrist, knowing exactly who it was. His entire front was pushed up against your back invasively, the heat of his presence coursing through your veins. 

“T-Taehyung, what are you-”

“I can’t forget it.” 

“What?” 

“I can’t forget it.” He repeated, his hot breath fanning your exposed skin as his face dipped to your shoulder. His hands gripped the edge of the counter hard, leaning himself further into you and you became very aware of your backside shoved against his crotch. 

“We-we have a date to go on.” You clutched the paper towel, nerves in your body alighting at him all up in your personal space, his body enclosing you, and now was the time you remembered Hana talking about Taehyung’s gifted size. 

Did he just have to have a big dick too?

“We’re not going on a date anymore.” Taehyung’s voice was dark and hot near the shell of your ear, jutting his hips so far into you your stomach was pressed up against the counter, losing all form of control.  

“Taehyung, Mrs. Seo and Mrs. Choi-” 

“I sent them home, we’re the only ones in this house.” His confession made your core ignite, the bubbling feeling of arousal now raking your insides as Taehyung remained in your space. 

“J-just the two of us?” 

“Just the two of us.” Taehyung stressed, his deft hands now encasing yours against the counter, and it was breathtaking how much larger they were in comparison with yours, how everything about Taehyung was. 

And definitely the hints of his length pressing up against your ass. 

“I can’t fucking stop thinking about you in that set.” Taehyung’s harsh breaths were tickling your skin, arousing you as the vibration of his voice sent shivers down your spine. 

You scoffed wanting to have some fun. “Satin and lace make you this weak of a man?” 

“Only when you’re wearing it. And trust me, I can make a mess out of you underneath me.” Taehyung breathed out hotly, his hips purposefully contacting your ass as his hands slithered around your stomach, pulling you flush against him. 

“Please, I can have you on your knees fixing my dress again before you do that.” You teased biting your lip, turned on way more than you should’ve been at his hands ghosting your abdomen. 

“You challenging me, princess? Because I was only being a gentleman, you have no clue how hard I can fuck you till you feel me in your throat.” Taehyung said it so roughly by your ear you gushed on spot. His hands trailed off on their own, one snug underneath your breasts and the other over your abdomen, clearly on two separate missions your body was nearly leaping at the prospect of.  

“I’d love to see you try, Mr. Kim.” You pointedly stressed, the constant feeling of his growing cock prodding your ass and breath fanning the junction between your neck and shoulder was sending into overdrive. 

“Mm, are you sure? Think you can handle it?” Taehyung’s tone was deep though held a concerned lilt, still trying to gain some sort of permission as if you weren’t ready to jump his bones right now. 

“Do you need me to take over, loverboy? All talk about dominance but can’t-” 

Taehyung’s hand suddenly darted down and cupped your sex through your dress so lethally your breath hitched, gasping at the euphoric feeling. His other hand snaked towards your breast and grabbed a handful of you, making you keen forward and press your ass against him. 

Taehyung’s large, skillful hands began doing their respective work; one fondling your tit and the other rubbing against your folds through your clothes. 

“You think you can just wear lingerie and not receive the consequence?” Taehyung questioned harshly, lips pressed to the shell of your ear as he lewdly touched you. “Think it won’t fucking ruin me with that image in my head?” 

“I-I was just trying it on.” You stuttered out relishing in his movements, his voice seriously authoritative and now you can see where his dominant, alpha male really jumps out. 

He scoffed under his breath. “Trying it on? You’re such a fucking tease.” His hand on your core began rubbing circles on your clit, eliciting breathy moans from your mouth that were bouncing off the kitchen walls. 

“Y-you’re one to talk, you think lounging around manspreading with fucking unbuttoned shirts and folded sleeves isn’t a tease?” 

“Oh? Innocent princess has had some dirty thoughts?” 

“Like you haven’t? I know the way you tense whenever I touch your chest or say your titles, don’t think I don’t notice- ah, fuck! Taehyung.” You moaned, feeling the pads of his fingers press into your clit harder with his other finding your nipple. 

“And yet you’re the one moaning out my name, so who’s the dirtier one?” His tone was lustful and teasing against your ear, had you reeling in his hold the faster he moved.  

“I thought you were the dirty one who said you’d fuck me till I feel you in my throat? Where’s that attitude now, cuddler boy?” You were quick to quip back at him but it only spelled your doom, his next words dangerous and coated with salacity. 

“You don’t get it, Princess. I’m big, you won’t walk the next day.” Taehyung’s hand then suddenly hiked up your skirt, shoving past the waistband of your pantyhose and pressing the pads of his fingers to your wet underwear, staining them with your slick delectably. 

You reeled at the touch, almost bent all the way over as Taehyung continued his merciless ministrations, the thoughts of his hands finally meeting your bare pussy and possibly his cock in you making you gush. 

“M-maybe that’s what I want.” You quivered out, gripping Taehyung’s wrist that was working your aching, clothed pussy. 

Taehyung puffed air through his nose, entertained. “My princess is dirty, isn’t she? What does she think about in that pretty little head of hers?” He asked amused, suddenly teasing your hole and it had your walls clenching around absolutely nothing, thinking about his fingers. 

“N-nothing.” You lied, not wanting to so easily give in as his sub, but it was so fucking hard when he was grazing your clit and fondling your sensitive nipples. 

“I don’t think you’re that innocent, princess. Tell me, tell me what you think about.” Taehyung was coaxing out your answers seductively as his lips finally met your neck, kissing and sucking the searing skin so sensually you were buzzing with pleasure. 

“I-I think about your hands.” You croaked out. 

Taehyung quirked his eyebrows amusedly. “Oh really, now? You think about my hands doing this?” Taehyung quickly slipped his hand inside your panties, the warm touch against your bare skin already so arousing until he slid them down to your bare pussy. You gushed a waterfall at the touch of his fingers, gasping out and hooking onto his arm desperately.  

“Fuck, Taehyung.” You moaned. 

“Where do you think about them? Here?” Taehyung glided over your throbbing clit and you practically twitched in his hold, him enjoying every last bit of the pretty sounds escaping your mouth.

“What about here?” His fingers swiped deeply into your soaked folds, your slick making it so easy for him to rub up and down your pussy like it was a game. 

“Tae, fuck!” You dug your nails into his arm, relishing in the heavenly feeling of his hands in the places you’ve always thought of. 

“God, you’re so fucking wet.” Taehyung praised, groaning pleasurably at how much slick you were producing. “Maybe you could take me, but I need to stretch you out, baby, you’re too small.” 

“Then do it, Taehyung. Fucking all bark but no bite.” You moaned out sexually frustrated, not knowing you hit a nerve in Taehyung’s pride and he plunged two greedy fingers into your pulsing center to shut you up.  

You sighed out a euphoric moan, leaning your head back against Taehyung’s chest, your world spinning. His fingers began pumping you deliciously, Taehyung groaning from the back of his throat against your neck at how warm and wet you were inside, how fucking tight. 

Taehyung quickly worked his other hand to free your breast from the confines of your dress, exposing it and you keened again feeling Taehyung’s fingertips play with your exposed, hard nipple.  

You felt yourself becoming submissive way too easily, moaning as you jut your hand behind and grabbed Taehyung’s semi-hard cock through his slacks. 

He practically keened over, strangling a groan so beautiful you’ve never once wanted to ruin a man more. You began palming him graciously, sighing out gratified moans as they mixed with Taehyung’s throaty sounds. 

He grew utterly punishing and thrusted his fingers deeper inside you for revenge, you squirming underneath him and it fired Taehyung up. 

“You know, I never knew you were hiding a body like this underneath your clothes.” His voice grew dark, dangerous as his hands were only increasing in speed and technique, your pussy growing wetter by the second. “So fucking sexy.” 

“Then why don’t you take off my clothes right now, sailor?” You challenged him, grasping his growing dick at the tip and Taehyung groaned in amused satisfaction. 

He ripped his hands away from you, you whining at the loss until he spun you around and crashed his lips against yours, kissing fervently as he grabbed for the back of your thighs. You kissed him back equally hard, jumping into his hold and letting him carry you to the island. 

He seated you on the edge, your legs spread out with Taehyung in between as your arms remained laced around his neck, his hands finding your sides. He was feeling you up hungrily as you both messily made out, your hands tangling in his hair. 

He moved to unbutton the front of your dress that kept your top half contained, popping it open to slide the useless dress off your shoulders. Your entire upper body was then bared to Taehyung, him disconnecting from your mouth in a haze to soak you in. You felt slightly self-conscious, arms wrapping around to conceal yourself on instinct until Taehyung stopped you. 

“Don’t hide from me, you’re gorgeous.” Taehyung looked into your eyes genuinely, like he entirely meant to adore you, and it only made you think back to when you didn’t know if he could be the loving partner you needed. 

But when Taehyung was looking at you like this, like there was nothing but unadulterated adoration in his coffee irises, your heart was leaping hurdles thinking he’s exactly what you’ve always needed. 

You smiled before pressing a chaste kiss to his plushy lips, Taehyung then drawing himself to your chest and trailing hot kisses down the valley of your breasts. 

You shuddered feeling his mouth near your nipples and Taehyung instantly discovered a weakness. He smiled against your searing skin, bringing his tongue to swipe across your perched nipple and you moaned loudly. Your chest arched dangerously when his fingers hooked onto your pantyhose and underwear, roughly pulling them down and past your plump ass. 

You gasped out in relief feeling the cool surface of the counter against you, pure pleasure raking your insides as you relished in the feeling of Taehyung’s mouth beginning to suck and lick at your perched nubs. 

You suddenly became aware of Taehyung’s very dressed figure, whining at the fact he was wearing clothes. 

“Taehyung.. your shirt.” You started pulling at the fabric, Taehyung never letting his mouth leave your breast as he quickly undid his buttons and ripped his shirt off himself. 

He discarded it and returned his hands to your body, only this time he harshly removed your bottoms from your thighs, tugging them down as you helped him. 

He shred off the offensive items entirely and threw them somewhere on the floor. You hissed at the feeling of your soaked pussy exposed to cold air, gripping onto Taehyung’s shoulders to manage the chill on your intimate parts. 

Taehyung then popped off your nipple and sucked at your skin as he laid you back onto the counter by his weight. As he leaned over your groaning figure, he kissed your stomach, your dress pooled at your abdomen. You moaned out in pure euphoria feeling his pillowy lips all over your skin, back arching off the cold surface of the marble counter. 

With your skirt being propped off your center, your core was bared to Taehyung, his fingers returning to rub sickeningly against your core and his other holding your legs open. 

“You’re fucking dripping, princess. I just know you taste as sweet as you sound.” Taehyung hummed against your hot skin, and you were affected by his words for a mere second before your hazy mind considered what he was going to do. 

As Taehyung’s hands hooked underneath your thighs and his mouth neared your pulsing core, your hands came out to immediately stop him, exclaiming. “Wait! You don’t have to do that, I-I’m supposed to do it first, aren’t I?” 

Taehyung quirked his eyebrows in confusion. “No? I want to eat you out, so I’m going to eat you out.” He declared drawing his mouth back to your core, until you halted his actions once again. 

“Look! You don’t have to force yourself or something, you really don’t have to.” Old thoughts and habits from spending nights with Kiseok came flooding into your mind, your needs seldom a priority and his usually the only meant to be satisfied. 

“Why are you- have you not been eaten out before?” Taehyung asked, his tone concerned. 

“Not-not really? I don’t know, I-I’m just not used to it. I was usually the one giving than receiving.” You admitted completely embarrassed, hands covering your hot face. It felt so entirely humiliating to admit something like this, squeezing your thighs shut to shrink into some sort of hole so Taehyung didn’t have to see you. 

Though his hands on your thighs pushing them back open reminded you he was indeed here, his words angry when he spoke. “You’re fucking telling me that asshole only ever- are you kidding me?”

“Does it look like I’m joking?!” 

“No, I just- that’s not fair, princess, that’s not fair at all.” Taehyung was storming holding you open, reminded all the same about why he’s only ever wanted to give you everything in the world. He couldn’t believe you were deprived of feeling like a princess, making him far more than determined to provide you with what you deserve. 

And determined he’d probably kill your jackass of an ex if he ever saw him. 

He scoffed humourlessly against your core, you shuddering at the feeling. “You deserve more than a universe.” Taehyung said to himself as he brought himself to kiss around your gushing folds, you squirming at just the feeling. 

“Taehyung! You don’t-” 

“It’s okay, Jagiya. I want to.” Taehyung began soothing your thighs with the pads of his thumbs. He held his mouth just before your entrance, his hot breath making you tense and nearly squeal, Taehyung muttering pacifyingly between your legs. 

“Shh, princess. Let me take care of you, relax for me.” You followed his word by taking a breath, Taehyung’s wet tongue meeting your palpitating folds when you exhaled. He licked a slow, thick stripe up your quivering cunt, gathering your slick on his tongue and you bit back an inhuman gasp. 

You nearly lurched off the counter, Taehyung’s satisfying tongue now masterfully licking into your folds as he kept you from shutting your thighs around him. He only spread you out further, delving his tongue deeper into your aching pussy and it was hilarious how easily you felt your insides coiling. 

This felt euphoric, otherworldly as Taehyung began licking you harder, swiveling his tongue in between your slit and flattening on your folds repeatedly. The technique of his tongue morphed into merciless kitten licks against your throbbing clit that were driving you insane, clearing teasing you and you moaned too loudly.

You slapped your hand over your mouth to not embarrass yourself, getting way too high off simply his tongue until Taehyung reprimanded you. 

“Don’t be quiet, Y/N. let me hear you.” Taehyung spoke against your core glanced up at you through his mussed fringe, his eyes entrancing as you looked down at him. “I wanna hear you say my name.” 

“T-Taehyung..” You moaned out making eye contact with him, his work on your pussy already edging you to places you never thought possible, his intoxicating eyes leaving you weak. 

“Mm?” He hummed against your folds, the vibration so heavenly you moaned out even louder and threw your head back, hands entangling in Taehyung’s hair messily.

“Taehyung.. don’t fucking stop.” You groaned, now chasing your high as you moved against Taehyung’s merciless mouth, and felt him smile against you. 

He then latched onto your clit so powerfully you tugged at his tresses, Taehyung groaning out satisfied as he suckled at your swollen bud. It was formidable, sickening the way he dared to look up at you with carnal eyes that had you submitting far more easily than you liked. 

But it didn’t matter when Taehyung was constantly sucking on your clit, laving at your pussy so passionately it’s like he was now trying to prove a point, trying to drive you insane. He suddenly shoved his long fingers into your weeping hole and you just about cried out, the sensation of him softly finger-fucking you as your walls soaked him in avariciously utterly divine. 

His movements became blissful and you weakened the more he sped up, licking and pumping you over and over and over again until your insides coiled so tightly, you moaned out an orgasm never felt before. 

You came hard, Taehyung’s name at the end of every sound and your body convulsed at the feeling, walls pulsing, pleasure overwhelming your every nerve. Taehyung tasted you through your orgasm, not letting up his tongue until he felt your breaths settle, kissing your near battered center delicately before you pushed at him from oversensitivity. 

He disconnected and straightened himself up, viewing your smaller figure laid out breathless and flushed underneath him. He watched your chest rise and fall rhythmically as you came down from your high, arm thrown over your hooded eyes. 

And Taehyung’s never seen anything so beautiful. 

He relished in your fucked out state, his dominant side momentarily thrilled as he smiled to himself. He leaned over your panting body, pressing his wet lips to yours. Your arm retracted from your face and welcomed his mouth, kissing him as you tasted yourself on his lips and became horney thinking he was stuffed between your legs seconds ago. 

The sight of your slick glistening around his lips when he detached his mouth made you adore him whole-heartedly. Your hands splayed across his cheeks, thumbs soothing his skin as you admired how much he just gave you in a matter of 20 minutes, far more than you’ve ever received in your entire lifetime. 

The sentiment nearly caught the back of your throat, eyes watering gazing at him, his eyes swimming with warmth. You threw your emotional thoughts away as you simply brought his lips to yours for another passionate kiss, melting into each other. 

He was smoothing over your sides again when your phone suddenly rang next you, startling you both out of the kiss. Your mutually surprised eyes elicited chuckles from the pair of you as you reached over for your buzzing device, viewing the contact name. 

Mother.

“What the fuck?” Your eyebrows knitted together, Taehyung’s lips contorting in question above you. 

“Who is it?” 

“My mother, I should probably answer.” Taehyung was shocked as he lifted himself off you, you rising into a seated position. 

You shuffled to the edge of the counter with an arm over your naked breasts, Taehyung lifting you off the counter and helping you down onto your feet. You nearly stumbled at the jelly-like feeling in your legs until Taehyung caught you from behind, snickering through his nose at what he did to you. 

You playfully narrowed your eyes at him as you clicked the green button on your screen. “Hello?” 

“Ah, Y/N, took you long enough to answer.” 

You rolled your eyes, “You never call, Mother. I was contemplating what person had a gun to your head that would have you calling me.” You quipped, Taehyung snorting as he abandoned you to instead slide the remainder of your dress down your body, leaving you completely naked as you stepped out of it confused. You stood exposed and cold for a second until he nabbed his shirt from the ground, draping it on your shoulders. 

“Very funny. Y/N, but there’s no gun. I’m calling for something important.” You looped your arm into one of his long sleeves, struggling for the other until Taehyung helped it on, turning around to flash him a grateful smile. 

“And what would that be? Your long overdue apology for the last time you saw me?” You spoke harshly, annoyed your mother completely ruined your fun with Taehyung. You pressed the phone to your ear by your shoulder as you buttoned Taehyung’s oversized shirt, turning towards him to mouth ‘can you get me some pants?’ 

He nodded and went off on his way, watching him disappear up onto the second floor as you returned to your suffocating mother. 

“Well, this is far from an apology, Y/N, more like your much needed discipline.” 

“As if that’ll work on me, I don’t even regard you as my mother.” You argued, arms folded as you drowned in Taehyung’s shirt. “What is it?” 

“You should watch your mouth, Y/N, what goes around comes around.” Your mother warned from her end, your attention stolen by Taehyung jogging down the stairs with a pair of your black sweatpants and still attractively shirtless. 

He thought about getting you pants but not a shirt for himself? 

Cute. 

He handed them to you as he drew near and you retrieved the item, pressing a gratified kiss to his chest as he smiled. 

“Says you, mother. You of all people should not be saying that.” You chastised her, hopping into your sweatpants haphazardly. They eventually hung at your hips and you smoothed Taehyung’s shirt over yourself, his arms enveloping you from behind into a snug back hug. 

You filled with butterflies in seconds draping a hand over one of his, not really minding your over-bearing, repulsive mother speaking on the other line. “But at this moment, I think it applies to you more.” 

You quirked your eyebrows, feeling Taehyung’s lips trail senseless kisses down your neck, his hands smoothing your stomach underneath his shirt. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean call your office, Y/N. Taking a day off didn’t do you well.” You instantly became alarmed knowing your mother, expression contorted in bewilderment as you abruptly ended the call with her, dialing someone’s extension at work. 

“Hello? Yeji? Is everything okay at the office? I’m sorry I wasn’t in today and I was just curious-” 

“Y/N!  Oh my God, I was just going to call you, everything’s fucked up.” Your co-worker complained into the phone, clearly shuffling around on their end and it sounded like chaos. 

“What the fuck happened?” 

“I don’t know Y/N, I don’t know but all I know is that we lost the deal.” 

“We what?!” You nearly screeched, catching Taehyung’s attention and he looked at you concerned. 

“We fucking lost the deal. Yun & Ryu called today and said they’re not interested in us for the project anymore, they’re choosing someone else.” 

You were exasperated, Taehyung becoming alarmed by what little he could hear through the receiver, even more at your rising anxiety. “Who the fuck are they choosing instead? We were their pick.” 

“Fucking Min Inc., Y/N! Your dad’s company!” 

And that’s when everything clicked, when you felt like air was sucked out of your lungs, mind collapsing into a million pieces. 

You instantly understood your mother crafted this behind your father’s back, knowing he’s currently abroad and away from headquarters. He’d always been adamant about never intruding on projects you were already pitching for, positive your mother must’ve appealed to whomever else was working this project at your father’s company. She must’ve also influenced or colluded with Yun & Ryu to choose their pitch over your impeccable one, irritating your soul. 

It made you even angrier considering your mother was always notorious for having built connections far and wide in the architecture world, her only real, favourable trait as a businessman’s wife. 

“Fuck.” You swore into the phone. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! Okay, tell everyone to stay there, I’m coming right now.” You hung up the phone quickly, running a frustrated hand through your hair as you felt like crying, screaming, just something to get rid of the anger inside you. 

You forgot Taehyung had been holding you this entire time while your blood boiled, his concerned voice sounding out when you removed yourself from his arms. “Y/N, where are you going?” 

“To work, I-I have to go. My mother.. she-” You clutched your fists as you aimlessly paced around, trying to maintain your indignation. 

“What? You have to go? What happened?” 

“That deal, Taehyung! That fucking deal I told you about, she stole it from me. She stole it and I have to get it back, I have to go.” You instantly snatched up your purse and started making it towards the door without a cohesive thought, Taehyung hot on your trail. 

“Princess, wait. I’ll take you, let me put on a shirt and I’ll drive you.” Taehyung offered, but you had no time. 

“No, Tae, it’s okay. I’ll drive myself, you stay home.” You said speedily as you struggled a pair of shoes onto your feet. 

“Just let me drive you, Y/N. I don’t want you going alone like this, and the sun’s already set.” He sounded worried, trying to reach you.  

“It doesn’t matter! I have to go, you don’t need to go that far for me, Taehyung.” You argued, frustrated as your purse kept slipping down your arm. 

“Y/N, just let me help you-”

“Please, Taehyung, please! I just-I need to go, I can handle this myself, okay?” You felt tears prick at your eyes, utterly tired and brimming with so much anger at your mother’s stupid pettiness it was too overwhelming. 

“My mother made this fucking mess because of me, alright? I’m the only one to blame, only I can be blamed. It’s all my fault, and I have to fix it, I have to..” Your voice trailed the more emotional you grew, vision clouding with tears as Taehyung came rushing to you, palms finding your shoulders.

“Hey, hey, Y/N, breathe, okay? You’re fine, it’s going to be fine.” Taehyung tried calming you down, pulling you to his chest for an embrace.  

You took his word and breathed, breathed as much as you could as you felt your emotions simmering down a little, nuzzled into his bare chest. You took one last shaky breath as Taehyung put space between you two, talking to you carefully. 

“Be careful when you’re driving, okay? I remember reading some snow in the forecast tonight.” Taehyung relayed as you stood rubbing at your eyes, trying to clear the tears that managed to escape. Taehyung reached for one of his coats hanging on a hook in the foyer, rounding it about your sullen figure and engulfing you in his coat. 

“It’s cold, and my coat’s warmer. If at any point you feel like you can’t drive, stop by a curbside with a lot of people and call me, okay? I’ll answer right away.” Taehyung assured you like a parent speaking to a child, holding the coat snug around you as your arms barely filled in the sleeves. “I’ll wait for you at home.” 

You nodded to him, snatching your keys from the tray and clutching them in your hand, taking another deep breath. You felt clearer now, determined to clean this mess up rather than dwell on your witch of a mother. 

“I’ll go now.” You said, stuffing your phone into Taehyung’s jacket pocket as he regarded you with anxious eyes, though didn’t let it compromise his dulcet voice. 

“Okay, be safe.” He responded uneasy, biting his lip. You followed the action and pressed a peck to his lips before you gave him a small, understanding smile, turning around as he let you go. You then exited through the door quickly, leaving Taehyung behind all alone. 

And when the house fell eerily silent, he couldn’t help but feel an ache in his chest thinking your smile didn’t meet your eyes. 

prev. ↞ || ↠ next ||  masterlist

extra a/n : i wonder how many people caught onto the way i referenced galaxies in this chapter 👀 (hint - inner child)

tags : @thedarkwinterrose @ayujaded @couldbeyourlast @ladyarmanto @anpanman-sonyeondan @apollukee @blueevelvt @taesluttt @scalubera @laurynne5 @dreamsindreamss @thequeen-kat @awsome-small-k @wrecklesssly @kweenhu @jalexad @koorby @bangforever @dyriddle @aianloveseven @waves-and-woods @hoefortaeshands @veronawrites @nightapple4jk @wataemelonz @aomi-nabi @katbonv @hantaev @jinpuddin @usamizuki @wooya1224 @bambuzlee @jenotation @tangledsparkles @pcyxljh @forbts-only @dumplingley @ccmemoirs @kleritata @thelilbutifulthings @maygem2780 @lachimolala95 @betysotelo18 @prettycoolting @opaljm @jeonlovers @honeyboocal @preciouschimine @enchantaeduniverse @hakko-bby @mrs-jeonjk @marvel-ing-at-it-all @rvdls96 @vaekth @taehyungkittyuwu @multistanbitxh @vantaesy @invincibletaetae @hispoutylips @cafe-gemini @ot7central @iwanttohitmyself @rlynotme @heyitsgracex @mama-m0chi @haileysoup @crystalizedmagic @yoonchrisgullwrites @allie-mcginn @vintageroses10 @ephemeralkookie @rocketxme @honey-littlegirl @croctusjuice @k-fb @itzybitzylovebug @sunas-bby @sugaslittlekookies @kimsamsoon95 @ppeachyttae @defjjks @sakurauchiha2018 @kbiancahirang @highkey-fangirling @bangtan-uwu @3sriracha @lovelyseomin @zippytheshark37 @my-current-mood-is @seolarsyj @drumsofheaven @moonsjoons @svftbaby​ @geekz077 @jeonchokoolate​

[spectaclespencer]

P.H. // Part 1; Alone

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

A/N; Here’s the first chapter! Let me know what you think <3 this is based off of this request I got. Any and all feedback is appreciated. Please know I know this theme/part has little to nothing to do with the actual meaning of the song, but some lines work if you ignore the rest 😅

Summary; After Gideon leaves, Reader takes up chess to comfort Spencer through the difficult time.

Category; Fluff, Angst(?), Hurt/Comfort

Content Warnings; Sad Spencer otherwise none!

Word Count; 3.5k

Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Next

It started when I found Spencer one morning. He had fallen asleep on a chair at the bau, and he explained to me that he’d been waiting for Gideon because he promised to play chess with Spencer that night.

“Is Hotch in yet?”

“No, he will be soon. We have a case, JJ is gonna brief us and we leave in 30.”

He thanked me and left the room, with his head down. He kept the same mood during the briefing, he kept drifting off as JJ was talking. Spencer was known to be stuck in his head often, but this was far more unusual behaviour. I figured maybe he slept wrong, or maybe just was simply looking forward to playing chess with Gideon. That was their usual routine, to have a game or two after cases to relax. It was understandable to see him on edge after not hearing from him all night.

As we got on the jet he didn’t sit with me on the couch right away as he usually did, instead he walked over to Hotch in the back corner. I craned my neck to try and see what he was doing and hear what he was saying. He spoke in soft whispers, seemingly asking questions I assumed were about Gideon’s presence. I saw Hotch shake his head, to which Spencer’s expression dropped. He thanked him, then made his way over to the couch beside me.

“You okay?” I asked.

He gave me a quick nod -- yet didn’t meet my eyes -- then curled up at the end of the couch to presumably take a nap before we landed.

We were all worried about Gideon, none of us had heard from him since the last case. We figured he just needed a break from the chaos; having a loved one die would take a toll on any of us. It was logical really, any one of the team would need time to recover when presented with that situation.

Spencer remained more quiet throughout the case, not engaging in conversation when it wasn’t crucial to the work. We ended up sharing rooms but even then he didn’t budge. He mostly sat in the corner and played chess against himself, often zoning out and staring at the wall. It was hard to see, and even harder to sit back and let him try to get through it. I could tell he was fighting himself in his head, probably going over scenarios on Gideon’s whereabouts. I imagine the stress was affecting him heavily -- or at least it was clear with the way his forehead had been creased all night.

Chess. Nobody on the team had a fair shot at him besides Gideon. Sitting there staring at the pieces probably wasn’t doing him too good, only making him worry more.

It wasn’t that I didn’t care because I did, but when it comes to certain things Spencer can be defensive and refuse help, so I wanted to give him a chance to get better. It wasn’t unlike him to refuse help, and I didn’t want to make the situation worse by opening my mouth. Instead, I opted to ask, “Mind if I join in for a game?”

“What? Uh- no it’s fine. I mean, okay yes. Sure,” Spencer stuttered, spooked by my sudden appearance beside him.

“Stop slouching, you’re gonna make your posture even worse,” I chuckled lightly, patting his shoulder to remind him. He shot me a small smile, watching as I rounded the table to sit across from him. I wasn’t too good of a player, but I wanted to make Spencer feel just a little less alone.

“Do you even know how to play?”

“Ouch,” I mocked offense, slapping a hand over my heart. “So cruel, Spencer.”

He raised his eyebrows in a form of asking again, to which I replied with, “Kind of. I haven’t played for years but I’ve observed you.”

“Y-you’ve observed me?” Spencer questioned, resetting the chess pieces on the board.

“Well, yeah. Kind of hard not to. You’re a pretty interesting guy.”

“Oh. Thank you.”

I smiled when he finally made eye contact with me. He looked tired -- more so than usual -- with his eyebags a deeper shade than they were normally.

The game didn’t last long. In only seven minutes, he managed to beat me. I groaned at my loss, lips pulled into a tight line. Spencer didn’t react, however.

“Okay that’s enough for me,” I said, heading over to the bathroom to brush my teeth before bed. “Goodnight Spence. Get some sleep. No offense but you look like you need it.”

He hummed at me, cleaning up the table before he climbed into his own bed.

I could tell he didn’t sleep much that night, as he kept a lamp on and littered his bed with various books. He looked cute, all swaddled up in the blanket he brings with him on every case for a sense of stability. His glasses were perched on his nose, and he was chewing his fingernails -- a habit I’ve tried to get him to kick over the past two years.

We didn’t talk during the night, but we both knew that each other were awake. I was kept up by my thoughts, trying to figure out how to get Spencer out of his slump. Re-learning how to play chess seemed like a decent enough idea -- yet one that would take some time. I was proved tonight that my skill needed to be greatly improved. It was nice in the moment, but realistically it would take a few weeks, if not more, to get the hang of.

The next day at the precinct I was stationed at the map, trying to figure out our geographical profile. I heard faint chattering coming from outside, and looked over my shoulder to see Spencer and Derek talking. I couldn’t hear much, but I did get that Spencer mumbled about calling Gideon, to which Derek answered that he might’ve just missed the call. It was possible, but likely deeper than that.

“Six times? Six calls? Something’s wrong,” Spencer sighed, rubbing his eyes.

I didn’t intervene with the conversation, instead deciding to finally speak to him about it after the case had ended.

On the last day, we all headed to our rooms after grabbing some dinner, to get a good rest before we took off early the next morning.

“Hey Spence, you awake?”

He hummed in response, and I could hear the rustle of the sheets as he rolled over in his bed to face me.

“I know you’re worried about Gideon. How about when we get back tomorrow I’ll drive you down to his cabin? We can go check on him.

“Would you really?” he asked softly. I couldn’t see him fully in the darkness, but I could sense he was looking at me with pleading eyes.

“Of course. I don’t like seeing you this stressed and down. I want to help.”

“Thanks ____, goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Spencer.”

After our conversation it was like a blanket of grey was lifted over his head. He settled in more, drifting off to sleep within minutes. I hated seeing him sad, and I did my best to try and fix his mood whenever I could. Spencer didn’t like change, I knew that, and the team knows that. A part of me had a sneaking suspicion that Gideon wasn’t coming back, and I had fear for what that would mean for Spencer.

-----

“Do you want me to come in with you?” I asked, pulling up in front of the cabin and turning off the engine. The only sounds were the faint hum of rain outside, splattering against the windows.

Spencer shook his head and took a deep breath, before unbuckling himself and opening his door. He mumbled something about being right back, as he headed off towards the building. It wasn’t dark yet -- only being four pm -- but it wasn’t too light either.

It looked as if the lights inside the cabin were off, and I could just hardly see Spencer as he knocked on the door. He waited on the porch for a moment, waiting to see if anyone would come to the door.

Nobody did.

It was hard to just sit there and watch, as his desperation grew stronger by the millisecond.

-----

I took deep breaths, trying to even out my intake of air and remain calm. When nobody answered the fifth time that I knocked, I reluctantly grabbed a hold of the knob and turned it. Much to my surprise the door opened, creaking inch by inch as I stood there unmoving.

“Gideon?” I called into the home, taking one step inside. “Jason?”

I wasn’t greeted with an answer, he didn’t come to the door and thank me for coming to visit. It was eerily quiet -- so quiet I took a few more steps inside to create some sort of volume.

“Hello?” I spoke again, louder this time. Shutting the door behind me I took off my jacket and hung it on the coat rack next to the entrance.

The place had been mainly cleared out, there weren’t many personal items behind. I stalked over to the kitchen, to see if there was any trace of someone within the last few days. It’s been officially a week and a half since anyone had last heard from him that I was aware of. I thought someone must have eaten, or at least left a bit of a mess behind them that would signal a presence.

As I turned the corner to enter the new room I noticed something on the table. I stopped in my tracks, leaning down to take a closer look.

Gideon’s badge, gun, and an envelope.

I swallowed thickly, walking around the table and took a seat in front of the items. When I saw the envelope had my name on it, my heart dropped. With shaky hands I picked up the paper and opened it, seeing there was a letter inside.

Spencer,

I knew it would be you who came to the cabin to check on me.

You must be frightened, I apologize for that. I never meant to cause you any pain. But then I also never envisioned writing this letter. I’ve searched for a satisfactory explanation for what I’m doing, all I’ve come up with is: a profiler needs to have solid footing. I- I don’t think I do anymore. The world confuses me. The cruelty, indifference, tragedy.

I stopped there, my eyesight becoming blurry from tears. I shoved the letter in my pocket, not caring at the moment if it got crumpled or not.

I was out of the cabin in no time -- choosing not to stay there and sulk in a deeper sadness.

-----

Waiting in the car for Spencer felt like torture. It was difficult, letting him go in there alone to be met with possibly no answers. I was thrown out of my thoughts by the sound of the cabin door slamming shut, Spencer jogging over to the car.

“Hey. Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked, red flags hanging immediately as he climbed in the car, tear soaked face pointed down towards his lap. It took me a moment to realize he was crying -- the rain had completely soaked through his top layer of clothes. He didn’t reply with words, instead reaching into his pants pocket to retrieve a piece of paper. He handed it over to me, still not meeting my eyes.

I unfolded it and began to read -- it was hard, through the tear stains smudging the ink across the page.

“Oh, Spence…” I whispered and stopped after the first few sentences, leaving the rest for him. I didn’t know what to say, how to comfort him.

“He’s gone,” Spencer sniffled, wiping his eyes on the sleeves of his nearly drenched jacket. “He just left. He didn’t say goodbye. He left me a note,” he froze, taking a few deep breaths. “Just like my dad did when I was a kid.”

“It’ll be okay. Wherever he is, I’m sure he’s okay,” I assured him. “You know he cares about you, right?”

“I know he is. It’s just-” he started, trying to find the right words between his gasping for more air. “Can you just take me home, please.”

I nodded, while turning the car back on to drive away. Spencer kept his gaze towards the window, refusing to let me see his face. I’m selfishly almost glad for it, because I don’t know if seeing his heartbreak is something I could handle.

It was a long, quiet drive, taking around an hour and a half to finally reach his apartment. He scrambled out of the car fast, but I still walked him up as I usually did. He got to the door before me, thanking me for driving him home. He shut the door just as I got fully up the stairs, leaving me standing with my mouth open.

‘Baby, when you fought me at the door

Kinda hard to force what's natural

Maybe you don't want what you need most’

-----

The next day when he came over after work he was almost back to normal. It was weird to see, to see such a shift in his behaviour after less than twenty-four hours. As much as he tried to hide it, I could tell just how hard it was for him. The sudden change didn’t go well with anyone, we’d all been informed that Gideon wouldn’t be returning and that he’d moved on from the BAU. It was especially hard on Spencer too, since Elle had just left not too long ago, and then Emily joined the team. First he loses a friend, someone who truly understood him as I did, and then someone he considered a father figure.

And neither of them had said goodbye to his face. It was scary, knowing a member of your team could walk out and never return before you know it.

We were seated on the couch, a game of chess displayed on the middle cushion between us.

It wasn’t anywhere near a fair game -- Spencer’s skills were still far ahead of mine. However I noticed it made him smile, and that’s all I wanted. For him to feel loved, and secured. It was a sense of grounding, a routine that was regular in his life. I still wasn’t very good -- not having played since high school and that night on the last case. But I downloaded an audiobook and several player’s guides for the plane ride home to study, because I wanted to learn for Spencer’s sake. However I soon realized it was easier to watch Spencer and how he plays, and to ask him questions. He seemed to enjoy it, having someone else in his life to play with.. And he loved to teach, to help people learn. He was so good at it too, his big brain being used to help people no matter the context.

Eventually he won the game as usual, causing me to groan in frustration..

“You bastard.”

“Not my fault you kinda suck,” he laughed bashfully, lips curling up into a small smile. It was nice to see a bit of happiness on his face, no matter how temporary.

“You’re so rude to me,” I joked, moving the board to the coffee table. “I thought we were friends.”

It was silent for a few moments, with me figuring out what I was going to say next.

“Spencer I know you haven’t wanted my help, but please tell me what I can do for you. Tell me how you feel, at least?”

‘Maybe you don't want what you need most’

“It’s nothing, ____,” he breathed, looking away from me and instead at the wall the couch was facing. He could see our reflection on the blank tv, and instead opted to just look down at his lap. “I’m better now.”

‘You ain't even there for me

Now you're scared to be alone’

“Respectfully, that’s bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh come on. I know you don’t want to talk about this but at least give me something. Don’t keep it all in. It’s not healthy.”

His face screwed up at my words, eyebrows furrowed and lips twitching. I could tell he knew I was right, as much as he hated it.

“I’m just- I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“I don’t want you to leave,” Spencer whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear.

‘Got me thinkin' that you scared of yourself, not me’

It all made sense -- the way he’d been distancing himself lately. It took me promising candy and Star Trek for him to come over tonight, and even then he almost declined. Too many blows to the heart made him afraid to get attached. He didn’t want anyone else from his life to disappear in a flash.

“Look at me,” I said, and he snapped his head to face me. “I’m not going anywhere. I can’t claim to be far in the future, but right now? I’m here. You’re stuck with me for a while, Spencer.”

He smiled, closing his eyes as a stray tear graced across his cheek. I used my thumb to wipe it away, and pulled him into a tight hug. He relaxed against me, I felt the tensions in his shoulders deflate as I held him.

“I’ve got you,” I whispered, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. His breath shuddered, and he wrapped his arms around my middle tighter, pushing his face into my shoulder to muffle his crying.

We sat for a while, my hands tracing patterns along his back. It took a few minutes for his cries to calm down, but eventually his breathing evened out with only a few hiccups here and there. He was practically sitting in my lap with his legs flung over mine, suddenly not caring about his personal space. I couldn’t blame him -- the boy was so touch starved he so clearly craved all contact he consented to.

“Do you want to spend the night?” I asked, quietly so I didn’t scare him with the sudden sound.

“Could I please?”

“Of course,” I smiled, pulling away. He still held on tight, not wanting to let go.

We made our way to my bedroom, repeating our usual routine. This wasn’t the first time we’d had a sleepover, and it won’t be the last I’m sure. Sometimes after particularly harder cases he would spend the night, just to be close to someone.

I went into the bathroom to change, giving him the opportunity to do the same. When I returned, he was dressed in a t-shirt and flannel pants he left at my place for sleepovers like this. He was already in bed, and when he saw that I was done in the bathroom he lifted the side of the blanket to welcome me in.

I joined him, grinning as he scooted over and pressed his back to my chest. I felt him breathing softly, my right arm slung over his torso to bring him in closer. He held onto my hand, and didn’t let me drift away. I was happy to comply, happy to feel his body warmth radiate through me.

“Thank you, ____. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Spence.”

From that day on for the foreseeable future, I swore to myself to have check-ins with Spencer whenever it seemed necessary. Whether it was in the form of words, sleepovers, movie nights, or chess.

His smile got brighter everyday, and eventually he no longer felt as much weight on himself a few weeks down the road. He still cried to me about how he missed Gideon, but it had gotten less frequent. And I was always there for him, offering my shoulder and the promise of my embrace. I knew he appreciated it too.

After a few months since our first game, I beat him in a game of chess. We were on the jet on the way to Montana for a case, and Derek was sitting beside Spencer. He kept annoying him, doing little things like twisting his hair and fanning him with files. Spencer kept shrieking quietly -- trying not to alert Hotch of the bickering.

“Checkmate,” I said, biting back a smile.

“What?!” Spencer froze, arm raised in what looked like to be a poor attempt of whacking Derek’s head.

“Awe, pretty boy. You’ll get her next time,” Derek threw his head back in laughter.

“What?” Spencer repeated quieter, eyes darting across the board, likely running calculations in his head.

“Better luck next time,” I smirked, tilting my head to the side. I wiggled my eyebrows, my small victory boosting my ego.

Spencer tried to keep a neutral face, but I could see by the tension in his cheekbones that he was happy. He was enjoying it.

-----

Please tell me your thoughts on this chapter here!

You can also send me an ask to join this series’ taglist.

permanent taglist; @spencerscumrag @spenxerslut

[akumastrife]

✨️ 🌈 🌻 🎀 🎉 🍭 🎙 💌

babe thank you so much

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

No Price Too Great; No Distance Too Far the rarepair raven cycle medieval au I wrote for a bigbang (my first and last)! Its 40k, all the things I like to write, with a bunch of flowery metaphors and 97% just yearning okay. It was a lot of work, a lot of love, but unfortunately seems to be too self-indulgent to be a fandom hit.

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

The Coral Isle Alliance, the teen wolf Scott/Danny fantasy kingdom au. I struggled with it because originally I wanted it to be 8 chapters, and a sweeping epic of found family, slow burn, and dreamy aesthetics. But... It sat in my drafts for over a year and I got overwhelmed when I didn't have all the story figured out. There was definitely a mental block that I think in part was because already I knew deep down it was only for me and very few people were even going to read it.

So I took everything I had already written and crunched it down into a one shot, and tbh that was all it needed to be.

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

lack of engagement definitely makes my desire to write fic very low, and i've been struggling with that for several years now. I enjoy fic and enjoy rarepairs/tropes that I know I'll have to write myself to have, and there's many fics started on my computer. But engagement has deceased so much across fandom in the last 6-7 years and tbh the effort I know I'll end up putting into it to not really get any feedback? It's bleak man. Makes it harder and harder to justify the time when I have original novels I want to write for publication as well.

But I keep writing, and I keep thinking of new aus and fic I probably will never write because I enjoy the creativity of fandom and I have a lot of feelings about characters I don't know what to do with otherwise. Fandom was pivotal for my adolescence, and definitely shaped the way I engage with art. I want to contribute to it, it's just how I am.



🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

I feel like I'm really honing my ability to weave emotional impact into the narrative! I can't draw the moment of anguish on a characters face, but I'm gonna try to convey it in a paragraph anyway!

🎉how often do you celebrate completing & posting a work? how often do you give yourself the credit/validation that you seek from others when you post? (if you don't, you should!)

Oh. Oh, well, I.. don't, i guess? I suppose posting is the reward, as in, the relief of having finished something (something I struggle with.)

How do you all celebrate a posted fic? Clearly I need ideas! =3

🍭why did you start writing?

I've always had the ideas, even before fanfic. And it was never enough to have them, and think about them, there's always been that desire to write them down, flesh them out, truly play around in them. I've been an avid reader since I learned how, and I guess there was always a part of me that liked it so much I wanted to participate.



🎙️which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

Thematically, I think 'dust devils on the horizon' (Joy cowboy au) would translate really well with the right narrator.

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

Yes it's true, i'm rewriting (for the 4th time) a KH fic I started 13 years ago that I want to actually finish this time. I'm posting chapters as I finish them, instead of waiting for all of it to be finished so I don't lose motivation but boy its hard.

When i write fic, which is rarer these days, its for me, or whatever my friends want to read.

[taegularities]

Hello, lovely Rid 💕💕

I'm here to ramble to you about your ramble in response to my ramble lmao.

First of all, we really do think alike apparently, because I also checked the wordcount of my feedback before sending it and it's probably the longest one I've ever written and will ever write. Even without all of the quotes it's like over 2k words, I really don't know how to shut up 😭😭😭

Thank you so much for taking so much care to write such a thoughtful response, Rid 🥺🥺🥺 I always love reading your responses to feedback, and not only my own, because everyone points out different things and you give even more insight into the story and your writing process. I can just read about your stories forever, even when it comes to commentary about them.

I watched the mv for 'when you're gone' and I totally agree with you that that scene matches OC's mood in the beginning of the chapter very well 😔😔😔 It also matches the way I was reading the Valentine’s day drabble, smiling at how adorable they were when I knew how we left off in cmi6. I've said it before but I'll say it again, the thing that hurts the most is knowing how happy they're able to make each other and seeing how they're now hurting each other instead 😭😭😭

Also about the rambling to my sister lmao. Cmi is the first fic I've properly talked to her about (she reads fanfic too, just not bts ones) and I was fully ranting to her about how Jungkook was keeping everything in and trying to be strong until he couldn't anymore, and now he's ignoring OC, I don't think I've ever ranted so much even about a real life person lmao. I might have not painted him in the best light because of how mad I was though 😔😔😔 But I probably will just ramble about how cute he is to her later on when everything works out 😌😌😌

Also also everyone has been adding onto the sadness and angst here and I don't know how they do it, because every time I even think about OC with someone else or just them being even sadder I want to cry lmao. But I still love reading everybody adding to the chaos, I can't lie.

Last but definitely not least, I feel like I haven't properly checked in on you in a few days, so how are you doing, Rid? 🥺🥺🥺

I MISSED YOU (she says after just 2 days lol), honestly, i was gonna shoot you an ask today lmao but since you're here, i can just say it now: i hope you're doing well! how's school going? &lt;3

2k even without the quotes? i don't deserve you fr 😭 no but seriously, i copied it into a doc, and thought, kay, must be around 2k, like all of it (which is already a lot) BUT 5.7K.... and it was like 10 pages long !! i went "awwh" out loud 😭

and thank you 🥺 i was even thinking of making a smol commentary one day, when i've got the time, bc i could talk about them forever 😭 i really love reading everyone's reviews and theories, bc sometimes it makes me rethink things that i didn't consider even while writing.

ikr? i spent my teenage years crying to 'when you're gone', and i kinda remembered the song when you pointed out that 'he can be comfort even now' bit :( and you're actually so right. might argue that it hurts even more to relate it to the vday drabble.. especially, considering what's still to come.

hahaha i get it 😭 after that chapter, it was hard to hold a high opinion of him, bc he did kinda fuck up :// but yes, i promise you, there are gonna be scenes and chapters that are so fluffy, it'll be almost disgusting, really. it's so cute that you ranted about it to your sister hahaha i really love that you're so invested 🥺

I KNOW! it's amazing how everyone was ready to jail me for all the angst... yet, they keep coming up with scenarios and songs that break me for good 😂 i wasn't as much in pain when i posted the chapter as i am now hahahah

ahh i'm okay, ivi, thank you for asking! i think the biggest reason for my bleh mood was that i'm... very bored. i've been feeling pretty unproductive since i took this super long break after graduation and quit my last job. which is why i'm lowkey excited (but also very scared lol) to start my semester next week and my job in may! will join you in your academic misery hahah but yeah. i'll be busier, but i'm looking forward to it, bc i do like being busy! hope you're all good, too 🥺🤍

[veirsewrites]

Hello! Thank you for the delicious chapter, it was amazing 😭 I loved every moment the MC and ex-lover A shared. It was so soft and sad, the way they laughed together so easily and then the MC reminding themself the reality 🥺 And the memories… The revelation about the MC's past 👀 It was very… interesting 👀

As for the feedback you asked:

The part that starts with "Voices echo and the air is damp." I had to reread it, couldn't understand who was saying what the first time. I know it is intended to be vague, but it was a bit confusing.

Amelie being a hunter and the MC not dwelling much on it was a bit weird because it was pretty big, I think.

As someone else said, when I saw the name input, I thought I was naming someone, too :')

The end of the chapter with A. After we saw A's memory, we pick up on that they didn't leave the MC on a whim. But when the MC asked why did they leave, it felt like the memory thing never happened? Like the MC still thought A had just left them.

Finally about the MC's position/power. What I expected was that they would be liked and/or feared to some degree in the community but certainly not as much as the High Council. And from what we've seen, they are just trying to get away from their clutches as best as they can and I think it checks? Also the way I get it, the mind reading was more about the MC's relationship with Amelie rather than them being weak. I don't suppose it would be possible without Amelie asking them to cooperate?

Aaand that's it. Sorry it turned into an essay :') Your story is absolutely one of my favorites, so hopefully this will help in some way <3

Thank you for the compliments and the feedback! ❤️

I just wanna comment on a few points but the rest have been noted ✍️

Amelie being a hunter: I was trying to let the MC react to her being one, and towards the end the MC can basically decide if they want Amelie as a friend still or not. BUT I think it was glossed over too quickly in my writing and not given enough weight. I’m still thinking I introduce her as a new person to MC instead, then the MC can not like her from the beginning and it’ll be more fun and tense.

Arlo/Aida memory: The line is “I was coming back.” The keyword being back. 😁 Then at the end of the chapter will be a scene where ex friend A and MC can talk about this.

MC power: Yeah, you got it basically. MC is not the most powerful vampire but they aren’t the weakest. I think I’ve said they’d be like a 7 out of 10 on the power scale of vampires in this world.

Mind reading: MC wasn’t expecting it so they couldn’t have prepared. Amelie kind of led them into a trap (and immediately regretted it but it was too late). So yes 😊 that scene was more about MC’s relationship with Amelie.

These thoughts are way more in line with what I am trying to convey in the story so I’m glad some were actually picked up.

This story isn’t about MC taking over the High Council. Hopefully no one thinks that! I’m working on a new summary and it includes the line of being “reluctantly thrown into a position of power.” This should re-contextualize the story closer to what I want.