#i did so much backtracking in this post that it took me 2 and a half fucking hours to write

[random-writer-23]

Icy Encounter (Kristoff x reader)

Summary: reader owns a flower shop in the middle of Arendelles town square, one day she meets Kristoff and Sven who are in town with an ice delivery, resulting in an icy encounter.

Word count: 7,049

Warnings: Sleigh crash, other than that pure fluff.

A/n: I may have not written Kristoff's characters completely accurately, but I wanted to lean more into Frozen 2 Kristoff's personality where he's just a Lil guy whos all nervous and blushy and stuff, and not his frozen 1 personality where he's really off-putting to the people he meets for the first time. I'll def write that Kristoff personality in the future tho cause much love for my boy. This also didn't turn out exactly the way that I'd planned it, but I like how it turned out for the most part. I might go back and edit it in the future but it's alright for now. Anyway as usual all likes follows, reblogs, and comments are appreciated.

Also I am looking for beta readers to read my writing before I publish them, so if that's something you'd be interested in please checkout the pinned post on my profile.

I huffed pulling the rope that opens the window to my small flower stand in the middle of Arendelles plaza. Clipping the rope to the window frame when I got the window open I propped the door open and started unpacking the flowers I was going to sell that day. Arranging them in gorgeous bouquets and placing them in the buckets of water out front. Putting the leftover flowers in buckets so people could make their own bouquets, more personalized for their loved ones. I hummed a little tune as I set everything up. Giving a glance up to the sky, it was a clear day, perfect for selling. The warm air and sunny skies would drive people to the plaza stalls for merchants to sell their wares. I liked to get to my stall earlier than most of the other merchants just so I can get set up well before the market time rush. I tied bows onto a couple more bouquets before putting them on the shelves. I took a step back from my stand and smiled, perfect, as usual. I looked around the market square to see other merchants setting up their stands. I walked past their stalls looking at what was for sale, to see what I could get my hands on before the afternoon rush, making small talk with the merchants I knew. 

"good morning holly" I waved passing by her bakery stand, as she placed a fresh pie next to her money box. 

"good morning (y/n)!" She smiled waving me over. I backtracked my steps and walked up to her stall window. She wiped her hands on her apron quickly and disappeared to her cart before reappearing with a couple of blueberry muffins, which she placed in a bag for me. 

"Oh thank you holly" my face lit up as she gave me the bag, "I did forget to eat breakfast this morning, so I really appreciate these" I pulled one out of the bag and took a bite.

"I figured you forgot to eat this morning" She laughed, "always up so early but you never take care of yourself" 

"I know! I'm terribleee" I chittered spinning around, "these are delicious Holly thank you!!! Come by my flower stand and I'll give you a nice bouquet on the house!" I said over my shoulder as I walked away from her stall. 

"Sounds good!" she yells back. I kept walking past the other stalls until I got to the docks at the end of the market square. Looking down I saw Harold one of the best fishermen in Arendelle, pulling his catch out of his boat and onto the dock. 

"good morning Harold" I skipped over to his boat happily, and he looked up at me, his frown turning into a wide smile. 

"Oh hello (y/n)!" His toothy grin spread across his face. 

"need some help?" I asked and he nodded. At his nod, I walked down to his level and helped him carry his bag of fish up to his stall. 

"wheres your usual help?" I asked him watching him cut the net and pull a fish out. 

"oh, Stephan? his whole family's sick." He replied examining the fish he had in his hand before putting it in a bucket of water. He was dividing the fish up by type. 

"Oh, that's horrible." I placed my hand over my chest and decided right then that I would make a big batch of soup to take to his family. I watched Harold debone some of the fish, and prepare them all in different ways. Before throwing them into the right bucket. Once one of his buckets was full I picked it up and walked to the front of his stall to place them on display. I noticed he hadn't received his Ice delivery yet, which was crucial to keep his fish cold enough to sell to people. I continued putting his fish out on display at the front of his stall. 

"hey, Harold when does your ice delivery get here?" I asked, but never heard his response as my attention turned toward the screams and shouts coming from the other end of the market, where an out-of-control sleigh was hurtling towards the market. 

"Watch out! move! go move! get out of the way!" The man in the driver's seat yelled waving his hands wildly as people scattered out of the way. I finally turned my attention from the sleigh to the direction he was going and to my horror he was spinning out of control right towards my flower shop. As if in slow motion, he got closer to my stall and I dropped the fish from my hands and ran toward my stall. The sleigh was pulled by a very frightened reindeer whose legs were scrambling in a futile effort to try and stop the sleigh before it crashed. I wouldn't make it in time, I closed my eyes as the sleigh made contact with my poor stall. And the crack of wood and breaking ice from the collision echoed around the market square. When I opened my eyes, I teared up a little at the sight of my poor stall. Broken flower stems lay scattered about the area, stray petals still falling through the air. I heard the groan of a man and the whine of a reindeer as broken piles of wood shifted with movement. A hand came out of the pile followed by a mop of sandy blond hair. Another groan of pain from the man as he pushed the wood off him and his companion. They emerged from the rubble and looked at my broken stall. Seemingly not having noticed me yet.

"My stall" I whimpered, not angry, just sad, my eyes filling with tears, as I sniffled. My sniffle got the attention of the man and his companion and they turned around slowly, the guilt on their face plenty evident. 

"I'm so sorry miss..." the man trailed off not knowing my name. I sniffled again before introducing myself. 

"(y/n)" I mumbled walking past the stranger and his animal to my stall. I picked up stray flowers off the floor. 

"(y/n) right, well I am so so so sorry," the man said mindlessly moving his arms around and walking around to pick up scattered pieces of wood. His footsteps crunching on the ice on the floor. "Sven and I are so sorry, we'll we'll fix this" He rambled on, I didn't pay much attention to his words as I wiped tears from my eyes, and turned to face the man with a small smile on my face. I hated crying in public places, so I quickly changed the topic off my broken stall.  

"Sven?" I questioned, wiping my nose with a handkerchief I found in my apron pocket, I finally looked the stranger in the eye he was kind of handsome I noticed, with sandy blond hair, accompanied by broad shoulders and huge arms.  

"Yeah... uh Sven" He gestured to the reindeer cowering behind him, and I forgot my worries about my broken stall, and my thoughts about how handsome the stranger is my attention focused solely on the poor animal. 

"Well aren't you the cutest thing" I cooed waving at him as he looked at the man for reassurance and then looked back at me and hopped over to me happily after realizing I wasn't upset with him. I reached my hand out to let him smell it, and he licked my hand, wagging his tail. 

"Yeah, he was going too fast, and couldn't stop in time" The man rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, watching me pet Sven. 

"oh well I couldn't stay mad at you" I laughed petting Sven's head and scratching him behind his ears. "you were probably so scared weren't you buddy?" I asked lifting his head with both hands and kissing him right on the nose. He stomped his foot and wiggled his tail, nodding. "you poor thing" I kept petting Sven, and I was in a much better mood after petting Sven, despite my shop stall being in shambles. "I never got your name" I turned to the stranger, briefly stopping my scratches on Svens ears, which was met with a hoof scratching my leg and a small whine of protest. I smiled at Kristoff and his face reddened. 

"oh yeah I-I'm Kri-Kristoff" He stuttered a look of surprise crossing his face for a second before he composed himself. 

"I'd say it's nice to meet you but y'know" I laugh gesturing to my broken stall. 

"yeah. don't worry, uh Sven and I will fix it. promise" He crossed his fingers over his heart, "and we guarantee it'll be better than before, right Sven?" He looked at his reindeer pal and bent down holding Svens head in his hand. "right Kristoff" he said making his voice sound funny. 

"Thank you, Sven" I gave him a quick curtsy and laughed alongside Kristoff. 

"Well, Sven let's get to work" Kristoff winked at me, rolling up his sleeves as Sven pushed me away from my broken stall with his antlers. 

--Time skip to the next morning-- 

"Alright keep your eyes closed!" Kristoff announced from ahead of me, as I was pushed forward by Sven's antlers. 

"They're closed, they're closed!" I laughed walking forward at Sven's nudges, keeping my hands over my eyes, feeling excitement bubbling up in my stomach. 

"Alright Sven stop pushing her," Kristoff said standing right next to me and I felt Sven's antlers leave my back. I heard Kristoff step behind me and felt him grab my wrists with his hands, heat radiating off them. "You ready?" He asked and I could hear the smile in his voice, I nodded finding my words to fail me in my excitement. "alright then, open them" He pulled my hands away from my face and I opened my eyes. I immediately teared up at the sight of my new market stall. 

"Oh, it's wonderful" I whispered breathlessly, blinking back the tears. The stall looked similar to my old one except this one was much bigger, and had a backroom area. They had even built a sign on top of the stall to draw people's attention. 

"Do you like it?" Kristoff asked hesitantly coming to stand next to me, judging my reaction carefully. 

"I love it, thank you!" I squealed throwing my arms around him and hugging him tightly. He let out a huge breath he'd been holding and hugged me back, I let him go pretty quickly realizing I had just thrown myself into the arms of someone I'd known for only a day. Even if he was handsome. Sven let out a loud bellow, and I turned to face him. "and thank you too Sven" I smiled and his tail wagged. He walked over to Kristoff and Kristoff pet him. 

"well that's a relief, I'm sorry for crashing into it in the first place though" he mumbled sheepishly, avoiding my eyes after my surprise hug. "but uh hey you got a new stall out of it so!" He fell silent as we stared at each other for a little while before he caught himself staring and cleared his throat. "well Sven and I will be off now... we'll uh.. see you around?" he asked. 

"yeah, you'll see me" I smiled. 

"cool, cool, cool, alright well. let's go then Sven we'll leave her with her new stall." He started backing up still facing me and backed into a trashcan with a loud thunk. I giggled hiding it behind my hand. "who put that there" He murmured face going red, he looked back up at me waved quickly, and then spun around retreating into the distance with Sven. I giggled to myself turning back around to look at my new stall. My heart fluttering slightly at the thought of him building this just for me. 

-Time skip a couple days later-

Kristoff and Sven definitely made good on their promise they rebuilt my stall even better than before and expanded it so I had more display shelves and even more room in the back for storage. Made it big enough for me to fit a table and chair in, and a stool behind the register counter. It was perfect, so good that it made me sort of glad they broke it in the first place. I would miss my old stall though, but my new stall stands out in the market. I hung some streamers from the stall overhang decorating my stall to attract more customers. After setting up the decorations I unloaded my cart of flowers and started to make the bouquets I'd sell to customers. I finished one of my rainbow tulip arrangements and walked to my table picking up the other bouquets I just made. Taking one last glance at them to make sure they were perfect I took them out to the front of my stall to put them in the buckets of water I have outside. I put them in the water and took a step back from my stall to admire it. All I had to do was put a few more flowers out on display and then it'd be perfect. I ran back to the backroom and arranged a couple more bouquets before deciding to just put the rest of the flowers out for people to make their own arrangements. After a few more minutes of putting single-type flowers in different containers, my display was finally all set up. I put all my leftover flowers in a bucket in the back and then got behind the counter to count the money in my register before my shop opened for the afternoon rush. I was in the middle of counting the coins in my register when I heard the scraping of a sleigh against cobblestone and turned my head to face the sound. Breaking out into a smile when I saw who it was. 

"Kristoff! Sven!" I shouted waving the two of them over, I watched Kristoff smile and direct Sven over to where I am. "I saved you guys a spot next to me!" I beamed walking out from behind the counter to give Sven a couple of scratches behind his ears.

"Oh, thanks!" Kristoff smiled looking over the empty area between my stall and the next. I followed behind Kristoff's sleigh as he moved it in between the stalls. I helped Kristoff unhook Sven from his harness and Sven followed me over to my stand I scratched behind his ears a bit more before picking a singular flower from my buckets and tucking it behind my ear, then I picked another flower of the same type and split the stem wrapping it around one of Sven's antlers. 

"Now we're matching" I laughed as even spun around in a couple of circles, "I'm guessing you like it" Sven nuzzled his nose into my hand his tail wagging, and I looked back at Kristoff to see what he was doing, only to find him already staring at me with a goofy grin on his face. Scrambling to look away once I noticed him staring. "Don't you have some ice to deliver?" 

"yeah, I do, I better uh get going to uh deliver that uh um..." he trailed off. 

"...ice" I finished for him 

"yeah yeah, C'mon Sven" Sven shook his head in protest and sat down next to me stubbornly, I laughed and pet his head. "traitor" Kristoff mumbled furrowing his eyebrows.

"haha, it's alright he can stay with me" I pet Sven between the antlers and his tail started wagging. "If you don't mind of course" I quickly added. 

"yeah yeah no I don't mind" he replied "I can just deliver the ice myself," he said trying to be nonchalant but failing. "don't you worry about it" He grunted slinging a large block of ice over his shoulder to carry to his first customer of the day. Sven and I watched him leave before looking at each other. 

"Now just because I let you stay with me doesn't mean you get out of doing work" I smiled walking back to my store and he bleated mournfully following behind me. 

--Time skip a couple hours-- 

By the time Kristoff finished delivering his whole sleigh of ice the afternoon rush was just beginning, and I put Sven to good use, when the children came up to my stall to pet him (free of charge of course) I allowed them to pick a flower for just a couple cents, and Sven allowed them to decorate his Antlers. By the afternoon so many of the children came up to buy flowers from us, that I had to weave them into his fur. By the time Kristoff came back, Sven was completely covered, and he seemed happy about it with the way he pranced up to Kristoff when he saw him and gave him a pretty little spin to show off his new look. 

"wow look at you Sven" Kristoff laughed and Sven spun again. 

"The kids helped me decorate him" I smiled, "oh that reminds me, here is half of the money he made," I said to Kristoff handing him a pouch halfway filled with coins. 

"oh no I couldn't take this" he refused politely.

"it's not for you... it's for Sven" I laughed, "you can use it to buy him some carrots or something, but hurry up and take it I've got customers" I tossed the bag to Kristoff, and turned to address my customers, it was an old couple who always stopped buy at the end of their day at the market. 

"Hello, Dorris, Hey Martin" I greeted them leaning on my counter, talking with them as I put together a bouquet made of the flowers they pointed out and picked. I made small talk with them waving briefly at Kristoff and Sven before they left. 

--A couple days later-- 

It had to be the worst day of my life, it was valentines day one of the BIGGEST days of the year for a flower seller like myself, So naturally, I ordered at least two cases extra of every type of flower I usually sell just for today but it was just my luck that my shipment never got delivered. I couldn't open my stall with no flowers. I mean sure I have some leftovers from yesterday that I didn't sell but like, those are not nearly enough for a valentines day sale. I stood in front of my stall fanning my eyes so I didn't cry in public which would have been so utterly embarrassing. 

"Hey (y/n)! How's it going!" The familiar voice of my now close friend Kristoff broke through my panicking, and I turned to face him obviously on the brink of tears. 

"oh, Kristoff everything is awful!" I whined bringing my hands up to hide my tears, he quickly parked his sleigh next to my stall which had become his usual place and jumped off hurrying to my side. 

"Why what's wrong? are you hurt? what happened?" He asked hurriedly giving me a small once-over to see if I was hurt. 

"no no I'm fine" I sniffled "it's just that it's valentines day and-and it's my biggest day of the year for flower selling and m-my" my voice became wobbly as I tried to hold in my tears. He rubbed my back gently. 

"It's okay, let it out" He comforted me, and I finally let my tears fall. 

"My flower delivery was never delivered and I ordered tons extra today because it's the biggest selling day of the year!" I cried turning to him to cry into his chest. I heard Sven pawing angrily at the ground and whining mournfully. 

"jeez, it's uh. It's gonna be okay. um, Sven shut up" He grumbled, obviously not knowing what to do. 

"he probably wants to be let out of his harness" I sniffled backing out of Kristoff's warm embrace and moving over to Sven. I unclipped his harness and he walked towards Kristoff headbutting him playfully before walking back to me and nuzzling against me. "Oh, Sven what do I do! The boating docks are completely on the other side of the kingdom, and It'll take me multiple trips to transport all those flowers from the docks to here. By the time I'm done peak selling time will be over and I'll lose so much profit" I started spiraling, my brain jumping to all the worst-case scenarios it could. 

"Okay okay calm down" Kristoff made his way over and started rubbing my back again. okay, what if Sven and I took you and your cart down to the Docks to pick up your shipment?" Kristoff suggested. 

"Oh I couldn't ask you do to that for me you have to deliver your ice" I rejected his offer softly. 

"no no I'm offering, we'll help you get your flowers and get back with enough time to spare for your rush hour." He insisted, and I smiled.

"I'd really appreciate that" I sniffled again tearing up more, my hands flying to cover my puffy eyes. 

"alright perfect plan, Let's get Sven hooked up to your cart and we'll go get your flowers. How does that sound?" Kristoff asked softly, and I nodded silently. He gave Sven a look and cocked his head in the direction of my cart and Sven nuzzled my arm on his way past. "Now is there anything you need before we go?" he asked and I shook my head no. "alright let's get you up on the cart then" He backed away slightly grabbing my hand and helping me climb up onto the cart. I sat down and Dried my eyes feeling a little better now that Kristoff is helping me. I watched him hook Sven up to my cart and found myself smiling. He looked back at me after he hooked Sven up and I averted my gaze acting like I hadn't been staring. He climbed into my cart next to me. "ready to go" He asked nudging me with his shoulder. 

"um, what?" I asked shaking my head to clear it. 

"I asked if you were ready to go?" He repeated, giving me a crooked smile and a small chuckle. 

"oh yeah yeah I am" I shifted away from him, being close to him made my heart race, and my stomach drop. 

"Alright, Sven let's go, to the docks!" He said to Sven and Sven grunted his response and started walking quickly pulling my cart behind him. "We'll get to the docks and get your flowers in no time" He reassured me, I smiled at him. 

"Thanks for doing this for me Kristoff" I smiled tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. 

"of course, it's no problem (y/n)" he answered giving a small snap of the reins to spur Sven on. He started to ramble about something else, but I wasn't listening. I know it's rude but I got distracted, he was just so pretty, and he was so sweet, making sure I was okay all the time, and taking me to pick up my delivery. Just being here next to him got my stomach all fluttery. I snuck a glance at his face, he was staring ahead steering the cart through the streets carefully. He turned towards me with a crooked smile on his face. After a moment he furrowed his eyebrows and I watched his mouth move. He frowned, and he snapped his fingers in front of my face. 

"sorry, what were you saying?" I shook my head, feeling my face burn embarrassed at getting caught staring. 

"I asked how long you'd owned your flower stall?" He lifted an eyebrow. 

"oh sorry um, well I've owned it, for a while, it used to be my parent's stall, they gave it to me when they retired, so now I run it," I explained and he watched my face carefully while I did. 

"That's nice, I've been in the ice business since I was a kid, with Sven."  I started getting distracted again, he was so attentive, and my stomach was getting all filled with butterflies again. What was wrong with me, why was getting all giggly over this man? I'd barely known him for like a week. I can't fall in love with someone I just met, it's absurd. But Kristoff's just so sweet, not to mention how nice he looks, I mean not just his face although that's not bad looking. I shook my head clearing my thoughts and forcefully   squishing the butterflies in my stomach. "we're almost there (y/n)" Kristoff announced regaining my attention, even though my attention had been on him the whole time. 

"Oh, that's wonderful!" I exclaimed clapping my hands giddily. "we'll be back to my stall in no time" I squealed, momentarily forgetting all about my thoughts about Kristoff. 

"and you'll be able to sell all the flowers you ordered!" Kristoff added giving me a side glance, I laughed. Kristoff turned the cart around a corner, and we watched the boats at the dock come into view. Kristoff spurred Sven on and we pulled up to the docks, where men were unloading crates off all the different boats. Kristoff gave a tug on Sven's reins and we came to a stop. Kristoff hopped off my cart and held out his hand to help me down. I smiled, scooted along the seat of my cart to the side he was on, and took his hand climbing down. 

"Thank you," I. said, stepping onto the ground. 

"Now where's your delivery guy?" Kristoff asked looking around the port. I took a glance around the port as well, trying to find out where the girl who usually delivers my flowers is. I spotted her unloading some crates and tugged on Kristoff's arm to get his attention. He turned his attention back to me and I pointed her out. 

"that's her over there" I started walking towards her, and Kristoff followed closely behind me as I approached my very frazzled-looking deliverer. "Lilly, what happened? It's valentines day and I never got my delivery this morning?" I asked the slight upset that I felt this morning slipping into my voice. She turned to face us and a look of relief washed over her face. 

"Oh (y/n) thank goodness your here! My morning has been horrible! My usual help called out sick so I've had to unpack all these boxes by myself, and my cart broke this morning so I couldn't even deliver my deliveries either, I've been trying to find a new cart to use all day!" She panicked, placing her hand over her heart and breathing heavily. All the upset I had felt a few seconds ago drained from my body. 

"Oh Lilly, you poor thing!" I comforted her giving her a hug, and I felt her shoulders shake in my hold. I backed up after a moment, and looked at her. "well my uh... friend Kristoff and I have a cart here, we can help you with the deliveries if you need us to." I took a quick glance at Kristoff who nodded his head in agreement. 

"Oh I couldn't ask you to do that, you have to sell these flowers to your customers," She said refusing our offer. "although if you're so insistent on helping, on your way back to the market can you deliver this letter from me to my customers who didn't get their deliveries explaining what happened," She asked me and I gave a quick glance at Kristoff who nodded his head. 

"I've got time" He smiled, and I laughed. 

"Oh thank you thank you!" Lilly squealed clapping her hands. "Oh yeah and here are your crates" She gestured to a group of crates and walked over to them, lifting the lid off one of them. I took a glance inside and saw buckets full of flowers and water inside. 

"Perfect! Just what I ordered" I smiled and she closed the crate again. 

"I'll just load them onto your cart then," Kristoff said grabbing the first crate, whistling for Sven to bring the cart closer. Once he was out of earshot Lilly whispered to me. 

"he's cute, are you two together?" She said nudging me with her elbow, and I smacked her arm lightly. 

"Oh stop it! No, we're not together" I mumbled feeling my face heat up, and she gave me a disbelieving glance. 

"so you guys are just friends?" She asked, her tone accusing me of lying. 

"Yes! we're just friends now hush he's coming back!" I mumbled as Kristoff walked back into earshot, picking up another crate and walking away to put it on my cart. 

"Okay well, do you like him at least?" She asked and we both looked at him while his back was turned. 

"I don't, like him we're friends!" I insisted and she nodded holding her hands in the air in surrender. 

"fine, fine I believe. you" She said, turning away to write the letters Kristoff and I were to deliver to her other customers. Kristoff came back over to get the last two crates and gave me a look. 

"What was that about?" he asked and my face flamed red. 

"Oh nothing, nothing at all" I mumbled my voice getting all squeaky, Kristoff glanced at me really quick, gave a shrug of his shoulders, and lifted the last two crates carrying them over to the cart. He put them on the cart and turned back to me giving me a large thumbs up, walking back to me, he stood next to me while we waited for Lilly to finish writing the letters. 

"Alright so the addresses are written on each envelope, you just have to deliver them, and tell them they're from Lilly." Kristoff and I nodded and I took the letters from her.  "thank you guys so much for doing this for me, I really appreciate it. I owe you big time" I gave her a big hug, squeezing her tight 

"no worries Lilly, anytime" I let her go and she gave Kristoff an awkward handshake, and we walked to my cart. Kristoff held his hand out to help me up and my face flushed as I took it, he helped me climb up on the cart. I took my seat and glanced back at Lilly who gave me a knowing look, as Kristoff took his seat beside me. I groaned waving her off and dropped my head into my hands. 

"hey, everything alright?" Kristoff asked, looking at me with a concerned look on his face. 

"yeah everything's fine" I mumbled, putting a smile on my face. 

"Alright let's just go deliver these, and then get back to your stall so we can set up in time for the rush." Kristoff gave a flick of Sven's reins which signaled Sven to start walking. 

--Time skip-- 

We finally finished delivering the notes Lilly gave us and Sven pulled up next to my market stall. Sven stopped the cart, and Kristoff got out, once again holding his hand out to help me down. I smiled and took it, hopping down off my cart  I walked over to open up my stand window. Kristoff started unloading the crates and as he did I put the buckets out on display to show off the flowers. Once I put all the flowers out on display I took the extra to the backroom and started working on my valentines day bouquets. Kristoff unhooked Sven from his harness and then came to the backroom with me. 

"Anything I can help you with (y/n)?" He asked scratching the back of his neck, nervously. 

"well all I have to do now is make my custom bouquets," I told him arranging some flowers in the bouquets and wrapping them with plastic and a pretty bow. 

"Alright, how do I arrange them?" He asked rolling up his sleeves. I turned to him with wide eyes, and my stare drifted to his forearms, I averted my gaze quickly back to his face. 

"You want to help?" I looked at him confused, and Sven poked his head through the door and moaned as if agreeing with me. 

"Yeah, why not" He shrugged picking up a rose by its stem. I smiled and started explaining the flower code to him and how to arrange an appealing bouquet. Soon we had arranged a bunch of bouquets and Kristoff helped me set them out on my display shelves. And the second we put the last bouquet in a bucket the market flooded with shoppers, many of them making their way to my stall to buy their lovers flowers. 

--Time skip to end of the day--

"Thanks for all your help today Kristoff" I mumbled handing change to my customer, sighing as I sold my last bouquet. I gave a long sigh, and Kristoff echoed my relief at the end of the day. 

"It was my pleasure trust me, I'm always happy to help" He assured me and we walked out of my stall to stand next to Sven who was laying down next to my stall. He stood up at our approach and licked Kristoff's face before nudging me with his antlers gently, I pet between his ears and he wagged his tail. I turned to Kristoff. 

"I really do appreciate all your help" I smiled leaning in to give him a hug. He smiled and wrapped his arms around me enveloping me in a tight hug. Boy was he strong, I mean I knew he had to be in shape cause of how big his arms were, and the fact he delivered ice for a living, but this hug was bone-crushing. I found myself leaning in to lay my head on his shoulder. He smelled nice, like leather and the forest, very earthy scents. I finally came to my senses, and lifted my head off his shoulder quickly, backing up out of the hug quickly, and looking at my feet. I looked at Kristoff for a split second before looking back down at my feet. 

"Well I should start closing up shop" I mumbled wringing my hands. 

"oh yeah yeah, you gotta get home haha" he replied and we drifted into a tense silence. Sven huffed after a minute and spurred Kristoff into action. "alright well I have to feed this guy" he patted Sven's side with a loud thunk, and I smiled. 

"see you tomorrow?" I asked taking a couple of steps back from him and Sven.

"yeah see you tomorrow!" he replied his face brightened, and he and Sven walked away, I waved them off, with a sigh. I turned back to my stall, thinking about what Lilly said earlier. Then I thought about Kristoff, how he gave me butterflies and made me nervous, and was so kind,  and funny too, and he smelled so good. A giggle slipped from me at the thought of him, and my eyes widened at the realization that Lilly was right. I groaned and let my head hit the wall of my stall. 

I was in love with Kristoff.

--Time skip a couple days--

After the revelation that I liked Kristoff, I didn't know how to act around him. Every time he'd come around with Sven to visit me at my stall, I'd give Sven a carrot from under the counter, and then avoid Kristoff's gaze as I tried to busy myself with unimportant tasks, so I didn't have to think about him. 

"knock, knock" I heard the familiar voice of Kristoff, and I tensed up. Taking a deep breath I turned around to face him, with an easygoing smile on my face. 

"Well hello there boys" I smiled leaning on my counter 'act casual act casual'  I thought. My heart started beating faster when Kristoff gave me his goofy crooked grin.  I smiled reaching under my counter and pulling out one of the carrots I've started keeping down there for Sven. He stood up on his hind legs putting his front hooves on my counter and took the Carrot from my hand. Climbing back down he looked at Kristoff smugly and sat down to eat his carrot. I finally looked back at Kristoff.

"what can I do for you?" I asked smiling giving Kristoff my full attention and trying not to get distracted.

"Well, so, okay well, so here's the thing" he started stumbling over his words and Sven rolled his eyes next to him. 

"go on" I pushed gently, and Kristoff nodded clearing his throat. 

"So you see, there's this girl I like, and uh I wanted to ask her to dinner with some uh flowers, an I uh thought well who better to get flowers from, than from the best flower shop in Arendelle" He laughed rubbing the back of his neck nervously. I felt my heart drop down to my stomach, he liked another girl, and my smile dropped into a frown. But I took a deep breath and plastered the biggest smile I could on my face. 

"alright well, I'll see if she's available" I paused for a moment "she's available" I laughed, "now what kind of flowers were you thinking?" I asked 

"I have no clue, that's why I came to you" He chuckled. 

"alright let's see, well I have some default romantic bouquets with roses and the like, or you can create your own bouquet with flowers you pick yourself," I explained. 

"yeah let's do that," He said. 

"Okay sounds good, so what flowers do you want to put in the bouquet?"

"I uh- have no clue"  He murmured sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. 

"that's okay, let's see I personally like these red tulips which symbolize a declaration of love, and maybe a white calla lily symbolizing magnificent beauty, Some Boston fern leaves for sincerity..." I start mumbling more to myself going into my bouquet-making mindset, adding flowers and taking some away, thinking about the meaning behind each flower, even though the receiver most likely does not know the flower code. But it's my attention to detail that makes my bouquets the best in the kingdom. Once I finally feel that the bouquet is perfect I tie it up with a bow and present it to Kristoff. 

"oh man (y/n), it looks great, how much do I owe you?" Kristoff grinned taking it from me and digging in his pocket for some money to pay me with, I waved him off. 

"oh nonsense, what's one bouquet of flowers between friends" I mumble desperately trying to keep the smile on my face until he's gone, "now go get her Kristoff!" I exclaimed and he blushed nodding. 

"alright I'm going, See you later (y/n)! C'mon Sven" He patted his leg with his free hand and Sven got up following behind him. I waved until they rounded the corner and were out of sight, and it was then I broke down and dropped my head into my hands and cried. He was in love with someone else and I was stupid for letting myself fall for someone I just met. I wiped my teary eyes on my apron, taking a deep breath. I still had customers to attend to so there was no use crying over a boy not yet. I took time to fix my appearance, drying my eyes and making. sure I looked alright, before going back to the front of my stall to attend to customers. 

--Time skip 3 hours-- 

I started packing up earlier than everyone else in the market square, at 4 bell chimes instead of the usual 5 or 6 if it was a busy day. Packing up the rest of the flowers I put them in buckets full of water to put them back out for sale the next day. I started pulling on the ropes that would pull the stall overhang down to block my counter window locking it into place. I had just locked my stall door, taking one last look to make sure everything was cleaned up when I heard someone clearing their throat behind me. I turned around and to my surprise saw Kristoff and Sven. I took a closer look at them and noticed Kristoff's sandy hair was combed back and he was wearing a nice outfit I'd never even seen him wear before. My gaze drifted from Kristoff to Sven and I saw even he had a little bowtie on. Kristoff cleared his throat again.

"um good afternoon er evening Miss (y/n)" he said stiffly giving me a small bow and I giggled. 

"good evening" I replied curtsying, trying to act like I hadn't cried over him a couple hours ago. 

"I was wondering if, you would do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner tonight?" He asked pulling the flower bouquet I made earlier out from behind his back, and offering it to me. I gasped softly and a wide grin spread across my face. I was the girl he was in love with! 

"oh, of course, Kristoff!" I answered happily taking the flowers, I watched all the tension in his body wash away at my response, and a huge smile stretched across his face. He picked me up in a hug and spun me around making me let out a surprised squeal. He put me down soon after, enveloping my hand in his. "so where are we going?" I asked and his eyes widened. 

"well you see I never really got that far... I was so focused on trying to get you to say yes that I never really planned for what do to if you said yes..." He murmured sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck with his other hand. I laughed loudly at his statement and he soon followed letting out a couple of chuckles as well. 

"It'll have to be somewhere that allows reindeer of course" I smiled and Sven snorted his agreement happily. 

"oh yes, of course, may we go?" he asked taking his hand from mine to offer me his arm. I took his arm and started walking. 

"we may" 

--Fin--

QOTD: What's your favourite TV show? 

Edit: Y’ALL 214 NOTES!!?!? That’s awesome and you guys are the best 🥰🥰

[idkwhatimdoingbutrandom]

Why Heartbreak High Season 2 Feels Different

I was ranting about this in the tags of another post lmao so I think I just wanna make my own post. I really didn’t know how I felt about season 2, especially once I got half way through, so I’m just gonna kinda organize random thoughts here.

Commentary

Lowkey everything falls under this I can’t even lie. My thing is, I can’t fully tell you what HBH2 was trying to say; it might be because it just wasn’t what I was expecting. Season one commented on race relations and sexual trauma and friendship. Season two kind of did that, but it just wasn’t as focused. I hate to say it, but too many things were going on and the cast is just decently big? Malakai’s sexual exploration felt lacklustre, Amerie x Malakai felt lacklustre, Ant x Harper felt lacklustre, Ant’s WHOLE CHARACTER feels lacklustre, Sasha’s performative activism felt lacklustre and like… a performance, Spider… I’ll get into that in a second, the whole election process kinda felt lacklustre (mostly because of the characterization involved), we lost Harper and Amerie’s friendship along the way a little bit with the way we hardly got to address the real issues within it; all the social commentary that came with all of these things fell kind of flat. I won’t say EVERYTHING was bad — because even if we kinda hit restart and redid Ca$h x Darren, I felt like that went solid enough… except for Ca$h’s sexuality conversation centralizing Darren and BACKTRACKING the conversations we’ve already had — but it definitely could’ve been better in my opinion. Just some, NOT ALL, of the commentary this season just felt shallow/ surface level. Everything didn’t make a perfect circle or tie/ work together the way they did in season one.

2. Square One

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I feel like a lot of the things HBH2 was trying to do was just done better in HBH1. The discussions around sexuality and masculinity and trauma and betterment were all done pretty well from what I can remember of season 1, but then we get to season two and… nothing’s really changed? I get it, they’re teenagers; but also, what am I here for if we’re just restarting and kind of doing it worse? This also ties in with the lack of focus. Season 2’s discussions felt worse because there just wasn’t enough focus, not enough time spent on each thing. Season 2 didn’t really build on season 1. I felt like it was just kinda doing its own thing besides Harper’s trauma because that carried on pretty well. Like we spend hardly ANY TIME in SLT class and that’s where all the magic happens. I kinda mentioned this above, but omg Darren x Ca$h… what happened? Their story was pretty good, but Darren ending up with the Puriteens… they’re too smart. I feel like season 2 kinda undermines the intelligence of the characters. Going from the “you’re my too much” scene to what happened in season two just felt… ????

3. Spider

First of all, it will always be SCREW SPIDER!!! SCREW YOU SPENCER!!!! I hope I don’t have to explain why. With Spider… it just TOOK TOO LONG! We knew what he was like in season one, why did we have to redo this whole thing and TIKTOKIFY IT TOO!? We didn’t need the extra thing with Missy. No offense to that storyline, but if we spent all of that time we did with Spider and Missy with Spider and his mom instead and then realizing his feelings for Missy (which imo came out of nowhere) OR he thinks back on his feelings for Amerie… it would’ve been so much better. TikTok is mentioned like twice, and yet the whole masculinity storyline is basically based off of it. Coach I Forgot His Name was just saying the same thing over and over again, it wasn’t building and the indoctrination process wasn’t that evident. I guess the superficiality could’ve been a point, but Spider is smart. Instead of the whole “just one joke ruins a life,” I wish they were daring enough to actually sprinkle some white supremacist and potentially Nazi (I don’t know the political landscape of Australia so take this with a grain of salt) ideologies in there until it became so extreme that Spider realizes what the hell is going on. Spider’s mom being a TERF is one thing (that we don’t even have time to dive into because the show gives us one damn scene), but we don’t really get to see how that settles in him. How he’ll never be able to please his mother or be who she wants him to be. Idk if I’m making sense lmao. Making Coach a joke character was also a mistake.

4. Rowan

I THOUGHT HIM AND MALAKAI WERE SO CUTE :((((((( My thing is that he was just brought in too early. He could’ve been a major season three character and season two could’ve been spent wrapping up all of season one storylines. Rowan just interrupted everything. He’s incredibly interesting, but with all the things we needed to get done/ wrap up, we didn’t even get as much time as we could’ve with him either. We don’t even get to see what his family life is like or his dynamics with his parents. Because of this, what we would expect to be commentary on mental illness just… kind of isn’t there. And it also takes away from Amerie, and the overall school community (!!!!), being held accountable for/ addressing their bully tendencies. Like as soon as we think “huh everything is fine and good and perfect” after wrapping up season one storylines, the show could’ve spun us around and made us see that there was still a ton of work to do.

That might be it. Maybe there’s some more, but I think this is generally my thoughts. HBH2 was very entertaining and fun and I’ll never get tired of Australian culture, but it still felt different.

[matrixxsystem]

Terrapin Soup Part 8 (1/2)

The town was quiet when Leo and Usagi stepped though the portal. Usagi reached into the pocket of his pant and suddenly looked worried, "I forgot my band.. To tie my ears back- Shit.. I was so worried earlier I didn't even have time to get ready... I-" Leo gently patted his back, "Hey don't sweat it babe, I gotchu. Here, you can use this." He pointed to his mask, taking it off and handing it over. "Wouldn't want em getting caught on anything right?"

"Leo I.. I couldn't, this is yours. It's important to you isn't it?" Leo shrugged a little, "I mean, kinda.. But you're important to me too so..." He pushed the fabric into Usagi's hands, "Really it's fine. If anyone I'm glad you're the other one to have it." Usagi hesitantly took the fabric and once it was in place he put a hand on Leos shoulder and leaned in kissing his cheek. "Thanks.. I'll give it back- Or buy you a new one when we're done here." Leo rolled his eyes, he really didn't care about it that much. Over the years he's had to replace his mask dozens of times. "If you really want, but you should keep it. You look good in blue~" Usagi blushed a little as they walked, leading Leo further towards the west end. Towards the docks where he was informed the culprit would be. "There's an empty warehouse by the docks there that he should be held up in. The ones that way are all run down, and the docks are mainly used by pirates so it's not a place people really hang out. You'll know it when you see it, someone should be posted outside guarding the building too." Leo nodded, taking in the information as they walked through the town, it was a lot more.. Lively then Leo expected after hearing the news. Lots of make-shift stalls and booths posted in a crooked line with a different yokai selling something different, weather it was hot food, cold food, machine parts, clothing, makeup, wigs. Anything he could think of he could probably find there if he looked hard enough.  His eyes glanced by a stall that had multiple stripes of fabric hanging with several others folded neatly on the counter.. He stopped for a moment glancing over them before Usagi even noticed. Backtracking a few steps to see what he was looking at, "Leo-" "I want this one." He said to the yokai, picking up a long strip and handing him some change he had in one of the pouches on his belt. He didn't bother to count it out and neither did the man, it looked like more then enough so it didn't seem to matter. He pulled one of his swords off his back carefully piercing two holes in the middle then tying it around his head. Then cutting off the excess and wrapping it around the hilt of his sword, "Whatdya think? This one covers my face markings too so it matches the whole stealth thing you have going~" Usagi rolled his eyes and smiled a bit, the dark grey mask make him look very different indeed. "You're right, blue is your color."  There was a moment Leo looked unsure, almost disappointed till Usagi put a hand on his shoulder, "It doesn't matter what you wear, you're still my Leo under all that, and that's what I like most. We need to keep moving though." "R-Right. Right.. Yeah let's keep going"

Thank the pizza supreme this covers most of my face cause it'd be pretty embarrassing for a super cool master ninja to be blushing like an idiot cause his super cool samurai boyfriend said something cute..

-_-_-_-

After a bit more walking the buildings and people started thinning out, under the dim lighting the was only getting darker as they pushed forward it wasn't hard to see why no one bothered coming this way. "There." He pointed to a building on the edge by the docks, there was a single light on hanging over the large barn like doors. There was one lanky yokai smoking to the left side, and another shorter one pacing back and forth to the right. Neither of them looked very dangerous, but then again most mutants had some kind of ability so who's to say they didn't have something like that hiding up their sleeves. "Alright babe, it's your mission so I'll follow your lead. What do you wanna do?" Usagi thought for a moment, Leo held back a chuckle seeing him so deep in thought. It was cute.  "Alright, you and I will scope the rest of the area out, you go high and I'll go low. If there's any issue portal over to me. And once we get a head count we'll knock out the guards out front and head in. Inside there should only be one person, he's our only concern. It's a big yokai that's just named 'The Toad' so he'll be easy to spot. We can't let him get into the water or we'll probably never see him again." "Wait, if he's so close to water already why's he not in there?" "This faction of the city is too important to him, its what we call a Red-light district. There's a lot of people from all over who come here to spend money so being the one in charge means being at the top of the payroll while also controlling the prices.. He won't give it up unless his life's at steak. So once we make sure to quietly take out the guards, we'll sneak in and take him out without a fuss. And once he's out we can go back to your place and tell Hyo it's been dealt with yea?" "Okay.. But once he's gone whos gonna run it? Won't someone just as bad if not worse take it over?" "There used to be a small group of locals who ran things, the four biggest businesses sat as a sort of.. Council, to oversee things. The people want it like that again, and as someone who lives close by I feel the same. It was safer with the ones who lived there looking after each other."  "Well alright then, sounds like a plan. If you get in trouble just uhh.. Make some kind of call to get my attention, and be safe okay?" Usagi nodded and kissed Leo's cheek again before lifting the mask that'd been loosely wrapped around his neck up past his nose. He went off down a nearby ally and disappeared in the darkness leaving Leo alone for a moment before he made his way to the rooftops of scattered buildings, most run down and clearly abandoned. He peered down into each ally and surveying the area from above, making sure there was no one else. There wasn't anyone around, just lots of empty crates and litter. Usagi did the same on the ground, blending in with the shadows as he made his way towards the building he assumed his target was in. He heard a shift behind him and drew his sword, turning to see his blade at Leos neck. "Ah- B-Babe you might wanna lower that-" Usagi quickly did so, "What are you doing- Did you see anything?" Leo held back a chuckle and shook his head, even when he was inches from being sliced in two he couldn't stop gushing over his boyfriend.. Hopefully that was more of some kinda of phycological defect rather then a queer lapse in judgement... "No no, there's no one around but the two out front. There were tire tracks leading away that aren't that old meaning that whoever else is working for him is already gone. Probably getting something like first aid or food or whatever for him till the heat dies down." "Right. Okay then, and uh.. Sorry about the sword, are you okay?" "Pfft, hey I'm just glad you ask questions and swing later haha- But I'm fine see? No blood."

Usagi smiled a little as Leo tapped his neck and showed his hand proudly, like it was some kind of noteworthy accomplishment his boyfriend didn't slit his throat by mistake. "Though if you did break skin I'd just make you kiss it better~" "Save it for the afterparty love, if we both come back in one piece I'll kiss your wounds better and then some~" Yeah Leo was down bad for this man.. So fucking gay

"..Now that's some proper motivation! Let's kick some ass~" Leo turned his sword making a portal and putting a finger to his forehead like a salute, "I'll see you inside then" He said before stepping though the portal, leaving Usagi to watch as he silently dropped to the roof of the warehouse, then opened another portal under the yokai who'd been leaning against the wall casually keeping watch. He was sucked in before he could even make a sound and dropped far off into the water. Once the other paced back and noticed his buddy missing Leo dropped down letting the smaller yokai break his fall. His shell against the mans head pushing him into the gravel was more then enough to knock him out. He looked over to where Usagi was still standing in the shadows and waved to him excitedly. Like a small child seeing their very best friend after being away for a long time. Cute couldn't begin to describe the slider in this instance, after having single handedly K.O.ed two strangers on a spooky water front...

Part 8.2 Part 1

TS Master Post

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Okay, I just finished season 3, it took me a bit longer than usual but thats mainly because a bunch of youtubers I liked uploaded as I was watching, I wouldnt say this season was that much harder to watch than the others although it is without a doubt the one I like the least

Its mostly just seasons 1 and 2 again except all of its worst aspects have been exazerbated, the love square is still lacking in development but now all sides of it feel very obnoxious and thats not to mention the fact that they basically dedicated an entire episode to the fact that the world will end if they ever find out about their identities and get together, theres character bloat or more accurately Miraculous bloat, pretty much all of the episodes still have the same basic structure and little continuity in a way that matters, which was forgivable in season 1 but is just incredibly frustrating at this point, not to mention the fact that they backtracked on all the best 'developments' of season 2

I put 'developments' in quotes because to me, that word implies a gradual change but its really more like the writers went "New season, new status quo". Now, I wouldnt have an issue with that if season 3's status quo was a natural shift from the status quo of season 2, the way it was with the first and second seasons, but in a lot of ways we're just back to season 1's bullshit; Marinette is still a bumbling fool around Adrien except shes actually even worse and not endearing in the slightest like she was in season 1, Chloe is back to just being a Mean Girl Caricature with her redemption arc completely undone and Cat Noir stopped being annoying towards Ladybug, which is the only change I approve of because I really didnt like the Ladynoir side of the love square last season. But also, I felt like Ladybug was a lot meaner to him ? Ive seen someone else describe it like "It used to be that Ladybug was the serious one who was focused on their mission and didnt want to actively entertain Cat Noirs jokes, but now shes just mean to him" and yeah, I agree. But also also, while Cat Noir thankfully stopped burdening her with his unrequited crush, I still thought he was pretty annoying because I felt like he really wasnt serious at all whenever they fighting the villains, like I feel like he used to be at,east a little more serious than this

The issues that were carried over from season 2 are mostly just the hero-bloat. I get what theyre trying to do but they rarely focus on anyone in the Miracuclass unless theyre being akumatized or they influence Marinette and Adriens relationship in some way so it doesnt feel earned at all. I already made a whole long post about how I think focusing more on friendships and class dynamics would only help this series so I wont repeat myself too much, but it would definitely help to show us why certain Miraculous were given to certain people rather than just "they were there" which is basically the reasoning behind Kim and Max getting their Miraculous, atleast Kagami and Luka had some kind of deeper reasoning behind it (although it does feel like a bit of a stretch to say that about Luka tbh)

Speaking of which, I like Kagami as a character and I like that she and Marinette are friends now and I wish we couldve actually seen that but no, this show would rather have them fight over Adrien, who also lost most of the endearing personality he had in season 2 and Origins btw, how very feminist of you, Mr Astruc. Luka barely did anything tbh, the only episode of his that really stands out to me is Desperada because I liked the way he and Adrien interacted

The designs of the new heroes were fine, if generic, the only ones that were truly bad were Aspik and Snake Noir someone tell my guy Adrien that he would NOT look good if he was bald. Also, I thought Dragonbug's design was legitimately great, Ive already seen Bug Noire and I think she looks just awful, they shouldve channeled some of Dragonbug's energy when coming up with her design

Thats about it, I feel like this post is shorter than my other ones but I already expressed a lot of my grievances in other posts I made as I was watching so I think this tracks. Im about to watch the fourth and fifth season for the first time, Ive already watched the first three a few times so I was going into it with a level of hindsight, but Ive never watched season 4 and 5 so this should be exciting. Although I will say that Ive been spoiled for most of the upcoming big reveals and episodes like the Sentiandrien and Sentigami reveals, Ephemeral and the finale. I will be watching the specials as well, according to the list I found on reddit the New York one comes after season 3, so I'll probably make a seperate post about it after Ive watched it

Thats about it, thanks for reading :D

[charcubed]

I posted 2,283 times in 2022

That's 194 more posts than 2021!

108 posts created (5%)

2,175 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

valleydean

agentmika

twofrontteethstillcrooked

teledild0nix

burnhamandtilly

I tagged 2,264 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#supernatural - 429 posts

#destiel - 172 posts

#dean - 148 posts

#sherlock - 83 posts

#spn fanart - 70 posts

#queer - 65 posts

#marvel - 62 posts

#lmfao - 58 posts

#the winchesters - 57 posts

#video - 56 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#largely because… he’s sam’s brother but he’s also sam’s parent. dean’s not repressed. he’s just selective in terms of what he lets sam see.

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

was anyone gonna tell me Dianna Agron is dating Megalyn Echikunwoke the actress who played Cassie on SPN, or did I just have to find that out myself in tags on posts that are making comparisons to the current debacle because of how Dianna once wore a “likes girls” shirt then backtracked to say she wore it as a feminist

157 notes - Posted April 26, 2022

#4

I’m only interested in stories I go insane over

166 notes - Posted February 14, 2022

#3

“Everything good about [piece of media] happened by accident” is a phrase that is going to become my villain origin story

I don’t know how to explain to you that creators put effort and detail into their content and you did not manifest its enjoyable traits with your ~superior mind~

I think part of the reason this drives so insane is that as both (some semblance of) a current creator and an aspiring creator, in different fashions, if people looked at my solo or collaborative work and tried to be like “lmao it’s crazy how the best parts of this were ACCIDENTS or COINCIDENCES” I’d commit homicide

I feel like some fans like to try to say that the ~good things~ about a piece of media are accidental or that “the fans made it better” because it gives them a sense of power, and then they totally can’t be told they’re into something “cringe” or “subpar” or “reading too much into it” if they’re rationalizing their thoughts as being a Next Level Of Hypothetical Enlightenment

“Oh I know this isn’t ACTUALLY good and I’m making up everything I’m seeing in it haha! Most of it even happened with a strange twist of fate I think. So I can like bad media ironically by recognizing what I enjoy is only the version I’ve made up in my head <3 “

How about… if you like a thing… then it’s good, so jot that down. Because chances are high what you like about it didn’t come out of your own brain and is, in fact, in there in some capacity.

Because if you see ANY genuine depth in a piece of media, then maybe that’s because it took work by many people over the course of many years to create, consciously and with intention

Your favorite show/movie wasn’t made by monkeys with typewriters and dartboards guided by fate

266 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

#2

GOD................... you literally CANNOT divorce johnlock from The Show. you can’t. and that’s also why it’s so impossible to be normal about any facet of it!!! it’s the bones of it and the heart of it and the POINT of it. the show does not make sense if johnlock is not the reason for the entire way it’s structured, not really. from day one that’s been the reason for its existence. because it’s commentary on ACD but the reason the commentary has to exist at all is because of the queer truths it’s bringing into the light. like I know we all know this by now but FUCK ME this is why I can’t think about this show for more than 5 minutes unless I pencil in 5 hours because this shit is just soooooo insane it will always be insane like ekjrngmnsdkfjnmrgklsmdfkjgn ohhhhhh my God

318 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

are they....…. you know………. watched by a giant slug

2,422 notes - Posted March 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[azuremblem]

Here’s my reviews of the Fire Emblem games I’ve played. I didn’t start playing the games until I saw the controversy of Byleth being in Super Smash Bros. I didn’t have a Switch at the time so I was playing catch up until I could play Three Houses.

Awakening-my first game and I have a soft spot for it. It’s easy to pick up and play. I like Pair Up and how it kept me from benching everyone. It’s corny, but I loved beating this game with the Power of Friendship. Creating Child Units is fun (Chrobin is my OTP) and like how they add to the story. The QoL it set makes it hard for me to go back to the older games.

Edit: I don’t like the difficultly spike after Chapter 11. I had to stop and grind everyone to level 10. I love RPGs, but I hate when I’m forced to stop and grind just to have a chance at progress. It ruins the pacing and makes a game feel longer than it really is (looking at you pre-3DS Pokemon😠). I got the Child Units faster so it wasn’t all bad.

Fates-I’ve only played Birthright and Conquest. I had a petty anger towards Revelation for existing and I regret not playing now it when I had the chance. I love its version of Pair Up, adding Bows/Tomes/Daggers to the Weapon Triangle, and Dragon Veins. Its maps are tougher and forced me to think more than I did with Awakening. The only thing I don’t like is how it handled Child Units who I ignored and headcanon them being born after the game instead.

I like the story and it makes sense for Corrin to choose either route. I like the Nohr characters more and had more fun playing Conquest, but l love the Hoshido designs/classes that makes Birthright refreshing.

Edit: I watched a playthrough of Revelation. The gameplay looks fun and I don’t see why it gets hate for being “gimmicks” when the same can be said for Conquest. I don’t hate the Valla Curse, but it could have been done better: too much time is spent recruiting everyone when more time could have been spent in Valla if there had been better communication about it. Nohr units should have been already promoted to make up for joining late. Corrin should have gotten a Valla class after it was revealed Mikoto is from Valla.

Echoes-At the cost of repetitive maps, I love everything else about this game. I love art, the full voice acting, the music, and it having the most Visual Novel feel. I love the way weapons/magic/items work and Combat Arts. I love visiting towns and exploring dungeons between maps. I love how Bonus Exp cuts down on grinding and keeps the pace going. I love Rewind and how much of a time saver it is. It’s the closest FE might ever get to being a more traditional RPG. I don’t like how the map punishes you for backtracking with spawns and the favoritism Alm gets in later in the game (he even has 2 personal weapons😠).

I like the story with its conflicting ideals told through parallel adventures that eventually become one. It’s even told through gameplay with Alm having a more balanced army who mostly fights soldiers compared to Celica having a more specialized army who mostly fights monsters. I don’t see it as sexist either with only Faye pushing it (at least she’s a great Cleric). There’s more gender locked classes than usual, but that’s always been a thing in these games.

Edit: I don’t like how the post game is damn near impossible without the DLC classes. I was excited at first to use my favorites from both armies at the same time for more than the final boss and I refused to pay for DLC that costs more than the main game.

Three Houses-it’s like they took everything I loved about the 3DS games and put it into one game. I love exploring and talking to characters in the monastery. I also like how natural it feels with the gameplay; everything builds off each other. I like White Clouds and my only problem with it is not having more unique missions for each house. The maps are not as repetitive as Echoes and the reuse makes sense for the story with attempts to mix them up like Revelation did…if you’re only playing one route. The main problem with the game and why so many have turned on it recently is because of how easy it is to get burned out if you want to see everything. I was able to push through, but not everyone can. I understand why this isn’t a game for everybody, but it’s still as much of an FE game as the rest.

It’s my current my favorite game because I love its characters so much with Dimitri and Byleth becoming some of my comfort characters (my favorite lord, my favorite avatar and one of my favorite ships too). The story feels like a deconstruction of FE that slowly reconstructs itself. I love it.

Edit: The game looks rough and I don’t usually care about graphics. Needing to play the first 12 chapters every time instead of being able to skip to the route split like Fates makes me dread replaying it. Most Master Classes are not worth the effort and the few good ones should have been Advanced Classes instead. There’s too many unanswered questions even after playing (watching in Silver Snow’s case) all the routes. Again, this wasn’t a problem with Fates. Basically, this game was rushed and needed more delays. The fact that I love it so much in spite of it all is a miracle.

Three Hopes-I skipped the first Warriors because of the roster, but I couldn’t pass up more Fodlan. Unfortunately, this game disappointed me and I can’t consider it canon to Three Houses. I love the gameplay and supports; it’s regular FE that’s real time instead of turn based. Byleth being replaced and it feeling like the writers hate them tainted the game for me. The retcons and how OOC it made certain characters be to justify the story became more salt in the wound. It’s the only FE story to piss me off. I held out on DLC fixing my problems with the story, but that never happened. This game almost ruined Fodlan for me and I will always resent it for that. This game is the reason I’m late to Engage; I was burned out.

Edit: I wanted to like Shez more, but as the protagonist their own game instead of being forced into Fodlan. I do like how they’re a foil to Byleth and their possible friendship that reminds of long lost siblings. Every time I see them I get reminded of how much Three Hopes upsets me. Some of their fans being obnoxious Byleth haters have also tainted them for me.

Heroes-I wanted to love this game, but it became to stressful. FOMO that kept me logging in everyday, not getting my favorite units no matter how many orbs I saved, and the boring OCs with an already boring story had me eventually delete it and never look back. I follow the art and voice lines, but that’s it.

[mariaurore]

(OOC) This is where I left off at last night, after creating Mari's restaurant 🫠

But! I did finish creating it 😄

I cannot say with 100% certainty that it runs flawlessly, as I've yet to spend a workday in it. I intend to do that today. First though, I wanted to make a post with screen captures of my build and experiences of building it 😅😊

More or less, it took me almost 15 hours to make this one restaurant. I totally tunnel visioned- I barely got up to eat (don't be like me and do this). I survived on water and espresso, lol 😅. I'm honestly really bad at hyper focusing on projects when I'm dead-set on getting something done. I think it's my Virgo rising's fault? (astrology) Heck if I know.

The first issue I had (that I mentioned in a previous post I would have to figure out) was finding a location and plot size to build on. After visiting through all of my available worlds and through much debate, I settled upon a 50x40 plot in San Sequoia (I hate spelling this btw so I'm going to be shortening it to San Seq. from now on).

There was also a 50x40 in Henford-on-Bagley but then I'd have to deal with Wild Foxes challenges and I don't even know what that means??? 🤷🏻‍♀️ (again, I'm still a noob to Sims 4). So, I took the "safer path" and opted not to go that route. Besides, the plot in San Seq. was right next to the coast... how could resist? I also liked that they were next to recreational centers.

I thought about going with a 30x20, or a 40x20 that was also in San Seq. but when I was looking at them, they seemed very small. I was a bit paranoid to go with those and thought I'd need much more room, dismissing them entirely.

Honestly, after building the restaurant and knowing what I know now. I feel a 30x30 would have been perfect. But it's a little late for that 😅

And thinking about future projects- I could probably go back to that 30x20 in San Seq. and put a cute cafe on it 🥰 (and it'll be right next door!)

All I had to do was move the house that was currently on that plot I wanted- which was uninhabited. I did want to make use of it, so I saved it to my library and moved it to Newcrest (which is completely a blank slate for me atm). If I change my mind and decide I don't want this later, I can just demo it completely- no biggy. I think it fits nicely in Newcrest though and it's one way to slowly fill up Newcrest LOL 😂

Here we go! Ready to begin!

The things I knew I wanted were:

Restaurant Name: Celeste

Celeste Inspired Colors; Teals, Blues, Greens, Blacks, Whites, Greys

Double Height Walls

Not a traditional square design building. Unique shape.

Second Floor is a balcony/hallway with Bathroom only.

Leaning more towards French Dishes, but "Mari's Favorites" dishes Menu

Theme steering towards Starry Sky/Cosmos/Ocean/Zen/Calming

I'm going to jump straight to my finished build screenshots.

First and Second floor from the Front View.

Front and Back View - I have 2 tables in the back that I'm hoping wont make things a living hell for my chefs and waiters 😅

Here's a shot of the inside that shows some details you cant really see with my other screenies.

I had to put that weird little corner there in the top left to make the trimming do what I wanted it to do (evil trimming 😈). So I took advantage of it by making it a "Display Area" aka "Focal Point" of sorts. I mean, it'll boost the restaurants appeal this way.

I just wish EA would make that friendlier to use but I'm not sure there even is a way they could fix that. It reminds me a lot of the spaghetti coding in FFXIV. I'm just kinda over here nodding and shaking my head going uh-huh... it is what it is 🤷🏻‍♀️. What can I really do?

At one point I think I had the trimming rounding the top of the building seamlessly but then I had to backtrack and it got royally screwed up and I couldn't put it back together no matter what I did *sigh* 🫠. I settled for the way it turned out cause I want the trimming. The building looks too bland without it.

I also really like the curved corners but the way it stretches the wallpaper and causes the lighting to hit it differently kind of nags at my OCD 🙃😅. Win-lose situation here.

There weren't very many options for restaurant "signs", unfortunately. I knew I wanted a cursive sign for Celeste, and the only option I had was this short one (that doesn't look like it says "Celeste" but perhaps in Simlish) or a very tiny one that didn't even seem like a "sign".

You'll also see there's a lot of plot space I didn't use. Indeed the 50x40 was too large. I ended up using a lot of the left side for a bunch of sakura trees 😅 (I do love them a lot). I'm not sure if there's a way for me to trim this down and fit it on a smaller plot or not, but I have no intention of moving it in my game. I'm just thinking for uploading/sharing it to library purposes.

After finally building the restaurant, it was time to buy it!

I pulled her out of bed at 3:48AM to buy a restaurant 😅 (tbf it was like 11:30PM for me irl, I was exhausted)

So much detail goes into this omg! I was picking out Staff Attire...

You can choose for your Chefs, Hosts, and Waiters. They have pre-made attire or you can create your own. I opted to create my own.

Menu... oh goodness gracious the menu... 🫠

I kept getting the "Max 30 Dishes" message because I kept choosing too many things 😂. Well forgive me for having too many favorite things!

I'd also like to note and point to my Pinned Message; I have the S&S Cookbook mod so a lot of these dishes come from that. I'm not sure if I ever share my restaurant to the library, if it'd also upload my menu? (I have a feeling it will, but I can notate it and those recipes specifically will just drop off the menu if the downloader doesn't have the mod)

I'll definitely be updating this menu as my chefs become more skilled, but apparently it's best to have them start off with dishes in the lower skill range 1/5, 2/5, 3/5. If they create dishes poorly, your restaurant will be rated poorly.

And then I hired some people! For now it's limited to one position each. Starting off is going to be rough because I have 28 dining spots iirc. I just have to remember that I can click the host station and disallow new guests if things get too busy.

We'll see how this goes! \o/

[dr-c-says]

Weekend Roundup: Oct 11-13, 2022 | EN 112

On Tuesday, Oct. 11th we were online, drafting your cause & effect essays,

which ... some of you turned in???? (If you didn’t do that, you should do that; if you had questions about how to do that, and you have not asked them, you should really email me; if you have already emailed me, and I have not answered you yet, I’m coming!) 

On Thursday, Oct. 13th, we were back in the classroom for our post-game analysis. 

We began with my observation that submission rates for the C&E essay were lower than they had been for the proposal essays. I have two theories, not mutually exclusive, about the causes (ha) of that differential, but we did not dig into my theories on Thursday; we just set about reviewing all the moving parts and how they fit together. PRIORITIES, amirite?? 

We took a look at how writing the Cause & Effect essay required you to figure out the underlying problem you would solve in the research essay (this step is often harder than people expect it to be), and also to find at least your first two sources for that research project. In drafting your body paragraphs for the cause & effect essay, you (hopefully) began putting evidence on the page to explain how you knew the things you said were causes (of the problem) or consequences (if we didn’t do something about the problem) were actually happening and contributing to the problem or actually likely to occur if we didn’t resolve the problem (depending on whether you went pre-tuna or post-tuna on the C&E prompt). 

Considering integration of evidence leads us to considering citation, since much of the evidence you’ll be using in your research paper will come in the form of data or commentary you have found through your research, and which you will of course wish to cite appropriately. 

You may remember from our how-to-avoid-plagiarism lessons at the beginning of the semester that the twin goals of citation are

(a) to give credit where it is due

& 

(b) to give the reader the information they would need to find your source for themselves 

Hopefully you will ALSO remember that even without a formal citation, we can accomplish (a) by stating directly, in our sentence, who said the phrase we are quoting or came up with the idea we are using. Formal citations provide a structured means of putting all of that (b) information together and organizing it so that readers can backtrack your research with minimal hassle. There are many citation styles, including some that are unique to specific journals or organizations; your WR textbook contains guides for three of the most common ones: MLA, APA, and CMS (often referred to as simply “Chicago style”). 

Back in the day, I used to require all my students to use MLA, regardless of research topic or declared major. MLA stands for “Modern Language Association” and MLA style has been the standard in language and literature fields for many years; you may also see MLA style used in the documentation for projects in some other humanities fields, like History or Philosophy. In the past few years, however, I have seen some organizations shifting away from a strict MLA-only approach to their formatting requirements, and while I think there is still a lot to be said for the cognitive benefits of cultivating the flexibility needed to adapt to the arbitrary arrangements of whichever citation style happens to be assigned, this semester I am attempting to “keep up with the times” by allowing students to choose the citation style they wish to follow, with THREE important caveats: 

1) the citation style must be one of the three provided in your WR

2) you must TELL ME which style you are using (in the submission comments on each essay) 

3) you must be consistent throughout your essay (I don’t mind if you want to change styles between essays, although I’m not sure why you’d want to; the key point is that you cannot mix and match styles within an essay, and the works cited or references list must be in the same style you use for in-text citations in that essay) 

The main thing to know about citation styles (as opposed to about citation as a practice) is that you aren’t really expected to memorize the format for citing any particular type of material; you’re just supposed to get comfortable with using the style manual so that you can look up and apply the guidelines for citing the type of material you have on any given occasion without developing 47 headaches. 

Your weekend homework is to find two peer-reviewed articles for your research essay, read the abstracts so you know what the articles are about, and look up the authors so you can explain their source of authority. 

If you missed class on Thursday, your makeup work is to summarize this document and then to look up citation formats commonly used in your field of study and report back with a summary of what you’ve found. 

Good luck! 

[thearksys]

Id be down to hear about your headcanons.

hell yeah.

okay, so; the final battle(s).

im imagining it to be an [S] thats sort of a mixture of collide and act 7, with a mix of styles and including anime-esque clips- especially for the fight with dirk. there would definitely be some references to popular shounen anime but since the only anime ive watched in that genre is mha, i can’t really come with anything specific off of the top of my head.

we can’t forget about ol’ capitalist jane though. in candyverse, she’ll have to be defeated. obviously with brain ghost dirks push jake will reveal his disloyalty to her and join the fight, though reluctantly.

also, somehow vriska and the whole “causing an event so large and canonical that the universe can’t be ignored and be kept inside the black hole” thing has to tie into this. i honestly think dirk cares less though about candyverses relevancy, as long as he stays relevant himself. so i don’t think he’ll do anything about it, unless candy becoming relevant somehow threatens his own canonicity.

back to the fight with dirk.

okay, nevermind. we need to rewind a little.

i think prior to the battle, terezi would get dirk to revive john; leading to terezi and johns eventual betrayal of dirk. dirk has seen this coming though, and revives john anyways because why the fuck not. terezi will attempt to suggest to john to retcon everything and prevent dirk from becoming ult!dirk, but dirk will use his control over the narrative to wrench her mind away from the idea and make sure that never happens. also, somewhere along the line, john transitions and june becomes canon.

the real planning for the battle would start when the meat crews and davebot/calliopes/aradias ships both become within the same vicinity of eachother. meat jade would start being cryptic again briefly, fortelling the other ships arrival. they may establish contact through calliope or may just meet for the first time when they land on deltritus.

then it’s showtime. dirk and rosebot have prepared themselves well, knowing exactly when the others were about to arrive because of dirks loosening grip on the narrative. calliope wrenching over control again doesn’t mean dirk won’t still be a hard enemy to beat though - he’s still fucking op as hell and will probably manage to take control of the narrative during the battle at some points.

the calliopes are definitely some of the harder opponents dirk has to deal with during the battle. the others will give dirk a run for his money aswell though; putting my bets on aradia being a total fucking badass.

seeing kanaya will also definitely be a big battle for rose to fight, mentally. neither will want to fight eachother. at this point the only way for rosebot to even die is for her body streaming her consciousness into the robot to be destroyed; and of course dirk has hidden it well.

i think seeing both daves (and roxy, too) will be harder for dirk then he ever expected. obviously dirk has not only hidden rose but his emotions as well. he will fight them like they’re unrelated and keep his emotions out of the fight, but not completely. he won’t kill them. his final goal in the end is to be defeated; he knows it’s unavoidable. wether he kills his friends or not he’ll still be killed himself. he decides to not use his total strength for this reason.

the calliopes will pick up on him not using his all in the fight and one of them will confront him about it. he’ll play it cool for now, but post battle, in the postscripts for hs2, his true feelings will be revealed. may make another post about that later because i have a good amount of ideas for it too.

honestly, on the rose topic, i think kanaya will corner her at some point during the battle and she’ll end up surrendering, but she won’t turn and join the fight against dirk.

here comes the real kicker, though.

well into the battle roxy will end up confronting dirk herself; everyone on the ground, seemingly wallowing in their own defeat, making parallels to collide. he’ll ask dirk why he’s doing this. why he’s hurting all his friends; calliope was right when she said he wasn’t using his all. he knows dirk still cares about his family and friends. deep inside, he’s still the dirk strider he grew up with. he’ll hold his hand out to him dramatically, telling him it’s not too late.

before dirk can react, he’s not only metaphorically but physically stabbed in the back by his own brother - davebot. as his sword goes through his body, he falls and kneels on the ground in a manner that’s also somewhat dramatic, again mimicking the events of collide and )(ics death. his glasses fall off his face and for once in the entirety of homestuck you can see dirks expression. while he grits his teeth, not really showing any reaction other then pain, in his eyes you can see that this turn of events truly shocked him. he expected to be killed by dave in advance but not in this way.

as he completely falls to the ground and the just symbol appears, everyone will look forward with shock; especially roxy. i don’t think roxy would hold a grudge against davebot for this though and would sympathize with davebot in the postscript.

alternatively, though, it’ll cut to davebot and roxy standing next to eachother with dirks body in the foreground, arms crossed and expressions blank with a hint of forlornness; implying that at some point in the battle they planned this together. if that’s more your thing.

with jane also being overthrown in candy, which i will not go into because honestly i don’t really give a shit about her or that fight, the paradox space curtains close.

[stormblessed95]

Ok, Storm storm, I need you to talk about this video, I only discovered it today and I'm collapsing... I don't know if you've already talked about it or not but I'll leave it here

https://twitter.com/motivatedpjm13/status/1498735024572665859?s=21&t=Orjsp5vvdZLlKDiA2rpXnQ

Lmaooo I was going to talk about this in part 2 of my 2015 post, but we can talk about it now!

Link:

It comes from the 150505 Radio Interview, you can watch the full thing subbed here, this particular part happened about 19 minutes in

There is plently to talk about with all of them from this interview, so you should watch the whole thing if you haven't yet, but we can just focus on this particular jikook moment here.

The host takes turns asking them all questions and before moving onto JK from Jimin, the host mentioned that Jimin really liked their golden maknae and asked what it was he liked about him. What truly stands out to me about this moment is JKs reactions more than anything else. 👀 The host asks what Jimin likes about JK, and JK goes shy as heck, rubbing as his neck, this is almost shy girl twirling her hair around her crush type behavior. He wants to know too. He is fairly interested in this answer

Jimin says "there's somethings I don't like, but he's cute. Because he is the maknae and all..." And JK smiles all sweetly. And while he is preening, Tae jumps in with a "I think he kind of likes men." To which JK seems to process that comment himself too.

And Jimin immediately cuts back with a "I don't like you." And JK immediately laughs and giggles. Jimin does not deny the liking men comment, just cuts back at Tae with his own. Idk if JK took note of that lack of denial or not but to me, it did seem like that comment did not pass by unnoticed.

The interview moves quickly on at this point to JK talking about his drawing skills and learning it from his older brother.

Now before moving on, I don't think this was a malicious or bad comment from Tae. I think it just wasn't thought through like at all as a joke before it was said. I think they have ALL grown a lot in the way they joke around with each other and with being tactful of others too. They all occasionally threw out a gay joke in these early years. It just... was just a bad joke with no ill intention behind it. While it wasn't great, I think Jimin handled it really well, he made people laugh and allowed the conversation ton continue to flow smoothly. And if perhaps the comment was correct, and he DOES like men and was well aware of that fact at this time (both of which I personally think are true) he didn't lie or backtrack or make things awkward, which he could have done, while also deflecting the situation admirably.

Anyway though, honestly it's an amazing moment, but honest JK, what was going on there. That was like preening. Shy, squirming in his seat, giddiness and anticipation over what Jimin was saying. I'm 👀👀 over that reaction. Like damn baby, your crush might be showing. It was like he was two steps away from twirling his hair and biting his lip over that question. Lol

So much we could unpack there. Lol just wow! And the sass on Jimin is top notch as always! Thanks for the ask! I love this moment!

[levisblackbabe]

Haikyuu Boys reacting to seeing you in a Bonnet

Characters: Bokuto Kotaro, Akaashi Keiji and Sakusa Kiyoomi x blackfem!reader (separate)

Genre: Fluff, Humour

Warnings: None

Wc: 800+ (this is also unedited so please bare with for any spellings mistakes)

a/n this took me wayyy to long to post and complete but here we go its not one of my best works and very much rough but I wanted to get things away from my drafts anyways hope you all enjoy

Bokuto, had just gone to his kitchen to get a late-night snack, he left you on facetime facing his ceiling whilst he skewed his cupboards. He didn’t feel like it was worth to take his phone with him since he was going to be back in less than 5 minutes. So, once he returned arms packed with different snack packages he said. “Babe, I am ready now come talk to me”

And off camera you replied “Kay, Bo I am just getting ready I’ll be there in a sec”

So, there he sat looking at the camera waiting to see you again. Once your face came into view his heart glowed. However, once he completely looked at you, he noticed something was missing, something he loved running his hands through. YOUR BRAIDS. And instead of them you had a black hat no. Clearly being confused he asked. “Babe where did your hair go?”.

At first you thought he was joking however once you looked at his pouty face you noticed he was genuinely confused.

“Well, Bo I am wearing a bonnet my hair is underneath.” and you demonstrated this by pulling on of your braids from underneath

Still baffled he asked, “What’s a bonnet?”

So, for the next 5 minutes you explained what it is and why you wore it after your explanation he asked “So I should get one do my hair doesn’t fall off”

Now the both of you have matching bonnets.

Akaashi, has always considered himself knowledgeable when it comes to the majority of things in the world. He thought nothing really baffled him because he knew each race and culture has their own customs. However, staring at his girlfriend of 2 months he wondered WHAT THE HELL is on her head? He tried to pay attention to you talking about your day just like every night but the fact that your beautiful afro was nowhere in sight really baffled him. So, he swallowed his nerves hoping he wouldn’t insult you and asked.

“Angel, you know I love everything about you, and this isn’t question isn’t to offend you but wheres your hair?”

As you started at him Akaashi quickly regretted his life choices and backtracked by saying, “Listen Angel ignore that, I am sooo sor-“

“Kei no need to apologise it’s okay to be curious,” you teased him “but I am just wearing a bonnet”

“A what” he asked.

“You might have heard of this in the media before it’s like a silk cap that-“

“You wear to prevent it from frizziness?” he said in a questioning tone.

“Yes that if you knew why did you ask?” you replied back

“It’s because I just searched it up,” he continued “did you know bonnet is actually a French word for cap”

“Ohh I didn’t know that but there was no need to search it up Kei”

“I know but I just wanted to know more about you to make you feel at home”

“Aww Kei you didn’t have to but its much appreciated”

Sakusa, loved everything about you especially your personal hygiene, you always took great care of yourself which he found such an alluring quality. Yet once again you were able to find a way to make yourself more attractive in your eyes.

So here he was in his bed staring through the facetime camera as you sat in your vanity table wearing a comfortable pair of pj’s as you done your nightly skincare routine. However, there was an addition to your attire the black frilly cap on top your head which Sakusa has never seen before. He was very much bewildered yet he didn’t show it or so he thought.

You noticed his change in demeanour when you put your bonnet on, yet you didn’t say anything waiting for him to ask questions. So, you grabbed your phone from the vanity table and made your way to bed. For the next 10 minutes your guys continued your conversation just how you usually are yet Sakusa couldn’t fully pay attention as you described your day. So he casually “That’s a nice hat you got on is it new?”

“No, I have had for time. Why you ask?”

“No reason just curious.” He said in a curious tone

So you guys intently stared at each other waiting for someone to fess up. Though you aren’t one of patience and broke the silence saying “Yoomi”

“N/n”

“Do you want to know about my ‘hat’?”, you said in an exasperated tone

“Yes, I do”

“Okay well for starters it’s not a hat it a bonnet it’s a silk cap to protect my hair from frizziness but also helps keep my pillowcase cleaner and not get hair products on my skin.”

So, as he heard that explanation Sakusa found another reason to fall in love with you a bit more.

[confinedmadness]

ChroNoiR Moments I Love

I did not include anything from videos linked in my post on favorite ChroNoiR collabs.

I included moments where ChroNoiR isn’t together but the two of them are talked about or have some sort of interaction.

I included habits or things that both of them do repetitively.

Keeping this at 10 because if I don’t put a limit, I’ll end up linking every single video where ChroNoiR is so much as mentioned.

★ Kanae Immediately Understanding Kuzuha’s Message

This is from the 2019-08-18 Project Winter collab with Sasaki, Lize, Ange, Fairys, Tsukasa, Shiina, Kuzuha, and Kanae. Most of the time, when talking about ChroNoiR in this collab, people mention the match where both of them were traitors and perfectly coordinated to win. 

While that was great and exciting, my personal favorite ChroNoiR moment in this collab is when Kuzuha chilled Shiina, and Kanae, who saw that, immediately understood that Kuzuha was trying to tell them Shiina was a traitor. From Kanae’s POV, this is around 40:30, while in Kuzuha’s POV, this is around 40:45.

If you watch from Kuzuha’s POV, you can also listen to him just praising Kanae and saying how he knew if anyone were to understand it would be Kanae.

★ Kuzuha’s Perfect Kanae Impersonation

This is from a PUBG collab with Ran, Sentan, Kuzuha, and Akabane. When Kuzuha comments that the others’ impersonations of Kanae were off, they ask Kuzuha for an example of what a good Kanae impersonation would be. Kuzuha delivers with what is now one of his memorable lines 「SE方面敵いるよ葛葉」(”Kuzuha, there’s an enemy in the SE direction”), and the other three, as well as the comment section, erupt in excitement over it. It’s around 52:45 in Baneki’s video.

Later, in the last ChroNoiR.tv episode, Kanae says the same line at around 15:00 as Kuzuha and the comment section note that they’re finally hearing the real version. Kanae even includes the “kyaaaaaaaaa” reaction from the original collab above.

(Note: Kanae actually says 「方向」while Kuzuha said「方面」but the phrase means basically the same thing.)

★ Kuzuha Talks About Kanae Tweeting a Formal Apology

In his solo stream, one of the topics Kanae talked about with his viewers were gropers and their victims. Unfortunately, some people interpreted part of his words negatively, so Kanae took down the archived video later on and also posted an apology on twitter.

Kuzuha, in his own stream , laughed when he saw Kanae’s apology, saying that he’s sure it’s because Kanae said something easy to misunderstand again. (Timestamp: 11:20:38) When his own viewers explained what caused the buzz, Kuzuha said that he can’t believe this is what the VTuber world has come to, and says that if the internet pitchfork mob is after Kanae for something like this, then they should come for him as well.

Personally, I thought it was really nice that Kanae tried to understand why it isn’t easy for victims to call for help. Yes, he did say he couldn’t understand why they couldn’t do something that seems easy, but it’s also true that he discussed these and listened to his viewers’ explanations with what I thought was a very genuine desire to understand. A Japanese viewer even commented that as a victim, she was glad Kanae had this conversation. 

★ Kuzuha Blaming Kanae for Something He Said

Kuzuha mentions in his solo stream (1:03:03) that his image of guys who play guitar are those who like hitting women. Upon realizing that he said something that could be taken negatively, he immediately backtracks and puts the blame on Kanae saying, “it was Kanae who told me that, but he probably won’t remember.” (Kanae’s character is someone who supposedly has amnesia)

In Kanae’s solo stream (26:05), his own viewers let him know about what Kuzuha said. Kanae only said that “if Kuzuha says that I said so then maybe I did, but I don’t remember”.

At the end of their ChroNoiR Donkey Kong stream (2:05:55), as Kuzuha jokingly blames Kanae for various things again, Kanae brings up the guitarist line blamed on him. As Kuzuha emphasizes that Kanae is currently confused and asks him to talk to his lawyer, Kanae responds with a threat to sue him and the stream ends with Kanae saying “see you at court”. This last interaction was especially funny for me.

★ ChroNoiR Introducing Themselves as Each Other

In ChroNoiR collabs, Kuzuha and Kanae frequently introduce themselves as each other. I just find it cute, especially when they both make fun of each other during the impersonation.

In one of these instances, Kanae tries mimicking Kuzuha’s introduction line but accidentally says 「ヴァンパイア吸血鬼葛葉です」 (Literally “I’m vampire vampire Kuzuha”) instead of the actual 「吸血鬼VTuber葛葉です」(”I’m vampire VTuber Kuzuha”). Unfortunately, I can’t find the original stream when he said that.

In an ARK collab (7:20:15), when Kanae successfully introduces himself as Kuzuha with the correct introduction, Kuzuha notes that he got it right this time. More recently, during their 2020 Christmas collab (0:27), Kanae once again introduces himself as Kuzuha using the wrong version (this time seemingly on purpose).

★ Kuzuha is 7 Hours Late; Kanae Gets Strawberry Au Lait

At their 2018 Christmas collab, Kuzuha is 7 hours late to their agreed meeting time (1:35). Later on (6:20), when Kanae says that wants one of the 3 cups of strawberry au lait that Kuzuha has, Kuzuha didn’t want to give one to him but relented in the end because Kanae reminds him that he was late. Because of this, Kanae is sometimes referred to as “the man who forgave 7 hours of lateness with a cup of strawberry au lait”.

★ Kanae Praising Kuzuha’s Singing

Kuzuha mentioned before that he doesn’t like singing in front of other people because of a previous experience where someone he called “Mysterious Mushroom Man” corrected his singing while they were in karaoke. So I actually love the times when either Kuzuha or Kanae mention that they went to karaoke together. 

My favorite is this moment in one of their Apex collabs where Kanae mentions this one song Kuzuha sang in karaoke that he considers his favorite among the songs Kuzuha sings. Kuzuha admits that he was happy to hear Kanae tell him his singing was good, and that he ended up singing that same song a lot in karaoke since then. It’s around 1:38:10 in Kanae’s POV and around 1:36:14 in Kuzuha’s POV.

★ Kuu-chan and Kanakana

Kanae sometimes calls Kuzuha “Kuu-chan” in order to tease him. This happened more often early in their careers, but still happens every now and then. Aside from the cute name, there is also the fact that Kuzuha will always reply with「やめろその呼び方」(”Don’t call me that.”) like clockwork.

Kuzuha doesn’t allow anyone to call him Kuu-chan. In fact, the only one in Nijisanji he has given explicit permission to use -chan with his name is Moira who calls him Kuzuha-chan. On the other hand, Kanae is called by a lot of nicknames, both by his collab partners and his fans. The most common one is Kanakana.

During one of Kanae’s chat streams (18:49), one commenter asked how he would react if Kuzuha called him “Kanakana”. In response, Kanae says that he probably wouldn’t be able to take it *insert disgusted noises* and just die on the spot. 

I find it so cute they hate the nicknames, especially from each other. And personally, while I love Kanae teasing “Kuu-chan”, I do adore the fact that they call each other by name.

★ "Because it’s Kuzuha”

This is from one of the CR cup practice matches when Kanae was part of Kanaminto (Kanae, Admin, Kamito). When Kanae’s party encountered Kuzuha’s, Kanae asked for time from his team to execute the finishing move on Kuzuha (1:25:03). “Because it’s Kuzuha”. Hearing the reason, his teammates immediately agreed as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

During their team practices, Kanae did in fact tell his team beforehand that he would like to perform the finishing move if they encounter Kuzuha. It was so cute how excited he was to be able to actually do it.

★ Kuzuha Not Realizing that Kanae was Streaming

This apex stream is definitely one of the most memorable even just for the fact that Kuzuha was unaware that Kanae was streaming for a whole 30 minutes. Kuzuha joined the voice chat at around 27:25. When Kanae informs him that he’s streaming, Kuzuha asks to confirm that he really is streaming, but mishears Kanae’s answer「うん、そう」(”Yeah, I am”) as「嘘」(”That was a lie.”).

They continue to talk, with Kuzuha mentioning some unusual food preferences among others, until finally at 1:00:25, Kuzuha realizes Kanae is streaming when Kanae tells him about something from the comment section. The sudden change in Kuzuha’s energy was amusing to watch. It was probably partly due to the shock because Kuzuha mentioned he was just about to talk about confidential matters right around the time he finally realized.

.

.

♥ ChroNoiR ♥

[hellenhighwater]

In regards to your question on this post:

I still fear neither god nor death. I have a different fear instead.

I studied abroad in undergrad and lived in Liverpool for about six months. While I was there, I took the chance to tour Liverpool Cathedral, because I am an architecture nerd. It’s an interesting cathedral, built more recently than many (if you’re in the area, it’s worth checking out) and one of the things you can do is go all the way to the roof of the bell tower and look out at the city. It’s one of the tallest things around, so the view is great. My flatmate and I visited on an off day, when the choir was practicing but the cathedral was nearly empty.  We paid the extra fee to go up the tower, and we were told that we would  take an elevator to the top of the nave, follow down the hallway when the doors opened, and then take the stairs to the roof of the tower. The lady working the desk reassured us that we couldn’t get lost; there was only one route forward at the top of the elevator. 

My flatmate and I got into the rickety little elevator and pressed the up button. After a fairly long ride, the doors dinged and opened, revealing a narrow stone hallway. It looked more like a service corridor than the sort of place you’d send tourists--it was narrow, with poor lighting and no signage. Nonetheless, we trusted that there was nothing to do but go forward. 

We followed that narrow hallway until it opened up into a much larger space. A space, I rapidly realized I did not want to be in. We were standing in the ledge of the upper vault dome under the tower--a vault with low, stone railings that looked down to the floor of the cathedral...a hundred and seventy-five feet below us. 

I am afraid of heights. 

I haven’t always been--when I was in the fourth grade, my family went on a road trip, visiting various waterfalls and state parks. At one particular waterfall, there was a trail leading from the ground to the top of the fall, with a sort of mounded stone edge between the path and edge of the cliff. It wasn’t high enough to keep you from falling (and actually probably would be enough to trip you forwards if you stumbled). My brother, Jake, thought it would be funny to grab me by the shoulders from behind and jerk me over the open air near the top of the cliff. Instant fear of heights.

I’ve always taken fear as a personal challenge, so in high school I signed up for a stage tech program that required me to work in the catwalks and fly tower of a theater for three hours every day, at heights between 30 and 100 feet off the ground. Every single day, at eight AM, when I set my hands the ladders of the theater and started the climb, my hands were shaking with fear. But I did it, over and over again until I could step out on the ribbon grid with open air under me and function even though I was terrified. I was our Fly Captain for more than a year, and nobody else ever knew I was afraid of heights, because the only thing I hate more than letting my fear control me is letting someone else know I’m afraid in the first place. 

I can cope with heights, but the fear is much much worse when 1. the structure I’m on is made of stone 2. the railings are low and 3. there is another person near me. 

This is where I found myself in Liverpool Cathedral:

As you can see it is 1. made of stone 2. with low railings (those suckers are barely above knee height) and 3. with my flatmate right behind me. 

This was, I decided, not great.

We didn’t know what to do. We’d been told that once we got out of the elevator we were supposed to just keep going until we hit the stairs and we certainly hadn’t hit any stairs. We backtracked to the elevator and checked--we hadn’t missed a door, and there was no other route, and pushing the call button for the elevator did nothing. We had cell phones, but no signal. And while we could have stood in the dome of the balcony and shouted for help until someone came to get us--the accoustics of the cathedral are excellent, the sound would have carried spectaularly--our Midwestern Politeness Instincts™ were too strong. Better to fall to our deaths than make a fuss and interrupt choir practice. 

We went back to the vault. From where we were standing , we could see deep shadows on the opposite side of the dome, in the opposite place as the doorway we were standing in. To get there, we would have to skirt along the narrow ledge around the dome. My roommate and I looked at each other. It was the only way forwards.  One of us would have to go and see if we could get out that way.  

She was also scared of heights. I was just as terrified, but too stupid to admit it.

(She offered to go with me, but part of the thing where I don’t like people being near me when I’m high up is because I have a strong urge to push them before they can push me. Instincts bad.)

The dome is lit up from below, with sizable fixtures located on the extremely narrow walkway I was trying to traverse. They were too wide to just step over--I had to balance on one foot and sort of hop to the other foot. There were power cables snaking over the floor as an added trip hazard. Approaching the first one, with my back plastered to the wall and my hands clutching my purse and camera so hard I found later that I’d cracked the plastic, I was viscerally certain that I was going to lose my balance and topple over the ledge. 

There was nothing between me and the stone floor a hundred and seventy-five feet below but a low stone railing. I remembered resentfully that the brochure we’d been given had said that Liverpool Cathedral has one of the tallest bell towers of any church.  Ah yes, I thought, This is the part where I die of hubris.

Somehow, I crossed the first light without dying. And the second. And then I reached the first pillar that supported the dome and realized  what we hadn’t been able to see when I started--there was no way through it. I had to go back.

Well, I thought to myself, if I splatter on the floor they can at least bury me in one of the cool old tombs. That would be worth it. 

If I’d had the presence of mind to appreciate it at the time, I might have enjoyed the very dramatic choral music echoing from the cathedral below as I jumped over the light fixtures to get back. But I was too busy being scared shitless to appreciate the drama of it. 

I made it back to my flatmate in the doorway without accidentally taking the fast route to the cathedral floor. (And paused to take a few pictures of the rose window, because the view was, admittedly, incredible.) 

At a loss for what to do, we went back to the lift. It was standing with its doors open, innocently waiting as if it had not refused to work earlier and nearly caused me to give myself a heart attack. We rushed in and jammed the button to go down as hard as we could. 

At the bottom, we told the desk worker that we hadn’t been able to find the stairs, and could she please redirect us? She escorted us in to the lift, and pushed the up arrow again, and up we went. 

This time, the doors opened on the other side of the lift, and we found ourselves at the stairs that would lead us up to the bell tower. 

I got some lovely pictures out of it, but it stands out in my memory as one of the most frightening experiences of my life. 

Perhaps it was a tiny revenge from the universe for fearing neither god nor death. 

[patrick-muinonen]

Discovering writing

I feel like so many people have all these wonderful ways of discovering their love for writing and I thought I might just share mine for someone to read.

It was nearing the end of high school and I was closing in on the beginning of my final year. Believe it or not, I was a science and math student to heart and soul. I loved it. Mostly because all of the equations and necessary information came to me.

When it came time in between years to take a bridge course I had been anticipation, my nerves were at their end, stressed to all hell. Should the bridge course fail, there was no coming back. I'd have been too late.

Some time passed and I was midway through the course bridging the lower and higher math courses. I broke down. It was such an utter defeat as I sat in that room, looking at questions where no answers came. I was heartbroken and my confidence waned. As I sat in that chair, breaking out into a cold sweat, I realized that I no longer cared.

It was a snap of some invisible fingers. I realized it was not my heart I put into math, though I still loved science, it was my brain. I was good at it and thought that I should thus love it. Nope. It was tedious and took time, even knowing the equations, and the learning process was not enjoyable. Perhaps because of bad teachers originally, or some other random reason I could not even begin to come up with, but my interest was gone. There was no longer any novelty to the concepts like when I was first introduced to complexities that the mathematical world contained.

Knowing there was no way I would continue with math for the rest of my life, I left it behind, mid-test. I had been breaking down, so I obviously did not want to be sitting in the middle of the classroom waiting for people to notice me doing nothing. What's more, I had the confidence to stand up, literally, and admit to myself that I was not fit for the area of study.

The months that followed were filled with my trying to figure out what's next. As much as I wish I could say it only took mere days to figure out, I would not lie. I was struggling. It took time to come to terms with the fact that discovering interest for me that I would be able to dedicate my life too was not going to simply happen.

I backtracked, thinking of the already existing hobbies in my life. Reading came up. Reading was a core of my life, it still is. Reading filled so many hours that I would run out of books, taking the series I already read and reading them a dozen times each. Pendragon was one of my favorites growing up. I thought the concept of there being different worlds connected to our own to be so interesting. My love of Fantasy was spawned with similar such books and when the realization hit that I loved books, and then that I wanted to share that with others, I began.

I wrote through college, mostly for myself, as I attended an arts program. The program was the best decision I made, well, except for one other that I like to keep secret. Suddenly, freelancing! I launched on Fiverr, spent months working enormously hard to go above and beyond for each and every client. I did it. I made it. Money was coming in! It stopped. I did not lose my clients, they were still coming. I lost my account, with no way to get it back. I`d just landed two novella deals and I had no way of contacting them anymore. Sucks to be me but I never stopped.

I lost my Fiverr account at 2:30 in the morning. I stayed up for the next 2 hours to make accounts, posts, taking what I know now about freelancing and going to the next level. Within 24 hours, I had a book deal. Go me!

Now, nobody will probably read this, though I hope someone does. I want you to know, if you're in a situation where things are no longer going right, something changed or you simply are not having fun with what you do, take a step back. Choose that moment when you are not in a rush to progress in life and move away from it all. Think. For a week, a month, a year. Take that time for you and you will discover all the things about your needs that you had no idea about. Or you wont. You dont know but you should try if you feel a need for it. When you find it, own it. Earn it. Be it. Make your time bend to it. Don`t relax, because I know you can do it, though only when you try.

Good luck, find your clients, live with what you love. Freelancers or corporate slave, you have a right to love what you do. Love it to death.

[star-going-supernova]

So. Madison Russell. Godzilla vs Kong. Welcome to my ted talk.

From a writing perspective, they totally wasted her character. She, Josh, and Bernie were almost exclusively used just as a method of showing the audience what was happening "behind the scenes" at Apex. Pouring the whiskey on the computer was about the only thing of note they did, and even that didn't do much. Mechagodzilla was only slightly hindered by it, and if they'd just written Kong and Godzilla differently in the fight scene, they could have skipped the whiskey part entirely. They could have done so much with having people "on the inside" but Monarch as a greater organization barely had any presence at all, which negated the need to have people on the inside. 

Maddie's steadfast insistence that Godzilla wasn't a bad guy at the beginning had so much potential, but it became the conspiracy thing instead. It felt less like she wanted to prove Godzilla wasn't turning against humans, and more like she and her new conspiracy friend wanted to crack open a shady organization, which was frustrating. If they wanted to depict her as someone who was forced to become competent at a young age, which was part of the serious, intense vibe I got from her, instead of the inexplicable personality shift, they should have showed her doing something to help. Getting in contact with her dad/Monarch, giving them evidence to begin a city wide evacuation outside the Apex Hong Kong HQ, messing something up or making it harder for the Apex people to get Mechagodzilla up and running—just, anything. 

The fact is, we had Maddie being very proactive in KotM. Stealing the ORCA was the game changer. Instead of taking that to the next level in GvK and giving her an opportunity to continue that aspect of her character—that is, being someone who refuses to sit by when she can do something to help, even if it’s dangerous—they rendered her obsolete. 

The movie wouldn't have significantly changed if you took her character out. If Bernie went by himself and ended up in Hong Kong, nothing would have changed, because Maddie didn't do anything of personal importance. She went from being an active character in KotM to being a passive one here, which are a pet peeve of mine. If you saw my post about what I liked and didn’t like about Godzilla (2014), that might sound very familiar.

It would also have made so much more sense if she developed a love for studying Titans instead of focusing on conspiracy theories. Plot-wise, it would have given her claim to her dad that Godzilla was being provoked more credence, and could’ve opened an interesting dialogue between them to reinforce that she knows what she’s talking about. Monarch was obviously still a big part of their lives, given that Mark had rejoined, so it would’ve been the perfect opportunity for Maddie to pursue a Titan-related future. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. I loved Jia, and wouldn’t want to take her out of the movie or even diminish her presence in it. In fact, I think they should have focused on Jia, and only on Jia. 

Hear me out: Godzilla vs Kong should’ve been split in two. A Part 1 and Part 2 situation. 

For Part 1, we keep a lot of the GvK canon, especially the Kong-centric stuff. Include even more scenes showing us that he’s protective of Jia, don’t just have Dr. Andrews say that he is. Have him defend her from something dangerous, maybe even from some humans. Include their backstory, how he saved her during the storm. And start it even earlier, before Godzilla attacks Apex the first time. Keep the whole Hollow Earth plot, keep the fight scene in the ocean, keep the discovery of the temple and the axe.

And on the Godzilla side of things, start earlier on that as well. Keep the other Titans in, have humanity tentatively believing that a time of great peace is upon them. Their mere presence is restoring the planet. There was an emphasis of nature, particularly in relation to the Titans, in KotM that I really think they should have included more of in GvK to better tie the two movies together, if only they hadn’t swept all the other Titans under the rug. They wanted a movie about a fight, not about the Titans. So, undo that. Show us a little of what Mark does, do a sweep of the other KotM cast (cameos at the very least) to show how they and Monarch are working to uphold that peace post-Boston. I’d also have loved to see Boston itself, too, five years later. 

Instead of giving us a Generic High School scene, show Maddie learning about the Titans alongside the experts. Bring back the wonder and amazement she had when she saw Mothra for the first time, when she reached out and touched her. She’s second generation Monarch, make that mean something. When Maddie took the ORCA to Boston, she had a conviction. She couldn’t not have. She was there in part to lure Ghidorah in, but I can’t even pretend to believe her plan ended with that. She knew Godzilla would come. 

That sort of belief is hard to kill, and if death via Ghidorah wasn’t enough to scare her off, no way anything else in those five years afterwards did. Her belief that Godzilla is good survived to GvK, and should’ve been a main focal point of her character. Godzilla attacks Apex—she and every other Monarch person who has spent years studying the Titans knows something is up. 

Keep Mark’s character development regarding his opinions on Godzilla. He believes Maddie when she says something has to be wrong, not just because he trusts his daughter, but because he looked into Godzilla’s eyes and saw more than just an animal. 

They’re in Part 1 only minimally, just to establish their presence and how they feel about Godzilla destroying Apex. The focus is clearly on Jia and Kong’s side of events. 

Sorry, but I’m leaving Josh out and seriously dialing back Bernie’s role. Instead, the character we follow inside Apex is Ren Serizawa. We see his motivations, his ambitions, and he becomes a character with more than just a few lines. Does he resent Godzilla? Or does he resent his father, too? Serizawa’s sacrifice was willing, after all. He was no accidental casualty. 

Part 1 ends in the Hollow Earth, with Ghidorah taking control of Mechagodzilla on the surface. Alter the timeline just enough so that Godzilla has only just arrived to Hong Kong, and Kong’s still in the Hollow Earth. The final scene is Mechagodzilla emerging into the city as the sun rises. The post-credits scene is our KotM cast in the Argo, location unknown, watching a screen with Mechagodzilla on it. 

Part 2 begins with a reveal: Ren Serizawa isn’t dead. 

Backtrack. This part focuses more on the Godzilla side, and Monarch. It’ll have flashback scenes from the five years between KotM and now, showing exactly why Monarch as a whole firmly believes Godzilla is reacting to something instead of being anti-human all of a sudden. The Titans are not inherently malicious; destruction is a side effect of their size, no more, no less. He earned his title of King in KotM—make it mean more than just trying to make Kong “bow.” Make him a protector, a guardian. He’s nature’s balance. By definition, he must protect humans as well. 

What Monarch needs to figure out is this: what is he trying to protect them from? 

They investigate Apex in search of the answer, but knowing from past experience the sort of things Godzilla gets proactive about—the MUTOs, Ghidorah—Monarch mobilizes. They prepare for another fight, at Mark’s instructions. He witnessed both San Francisco and Boston firsthand, even if the former was from a civilian standpoint. 

Godzilla has more hunt scenes. He targets a second Apex lab after his ocean fight with Kong, telling Monarch that they’re on the right track. 

Maddie, being a minor and not dragged into the thick of things (yet), has to stay home. Remembering the podcast she sometimes listened to, when the topic was focused on the Titans, she tracks Bernie down, and he tells her about what he saw: the eye. 

The two of them go to the ruined Apex building and discover the eye is gone before getting caught. With Monarch currently breathing down their necks, they recognize Maddie to be Mark’s daughter and take her to Hong Kong. Sorry, Bernie, but that’s mostly as far as you’re involved. Timeline-wise, this is roughly when Kong puts the axe in the temple floor and Godzilla blasts a hole to the center of the earth. Monarch is following Godzilla, but they’re behind a bit thanks to the tunnel shortcuts. They’re still unaware that Maddie has been kidnapped and is en route to Hong Kong.

This is also when Mechagodzilla gains a life of its own. Walter Simmons is killed and Ren Serizawa becomes trapped in the link to Mechagodzilla, serving as the bridge between the robot and Ghidorah’s mind. Ghidorah is essentially controlling MG by controlling Ren, who is controlling MG. Make sense? He’s the puppeteer’s puppeteer. 

We reverse some things. Godzilla fights MG first, gets beat around but not as much as in GvK because he isn’t fresh out of a different fight. Kong returns to the surface through the tunnel Godzilla created, having carried the one remaining HEAV out himself, because Nathan Lind has never flown one before and doesn’t know how they work. Kong wants to protect Jia, and Ilene Andrews and Nathan Lind are very lucky that Jia likes them. 

Mechagodzilla sees Kong and takes off, and Kong decides now would be a great time to fight Godzilla, who’s having a pretty bad day. Monarch arrives, and half of them split off to follow MG while the rest stay to try and deescalate the situation. Other than Godzilla faring slightly less well, the fight goes mostly the same as in the movie, except for one big difference: one of the Monarch crafts pick up Jia and Co, and she’s able to get Kong’s attention from the back of an Osprey well enough to tell him to stop fighting. There’s a bigger threat out there, and Godzilla definitely needs to be okay enough to fight it. Either they work together, or they reschedule. 

She’s very stern about it, and though no one’s really sure what the two Titans decide on, they stop fighting. They leave together to go after Mechagodzilla, who is currently being slowed down by Mothra, because she deserves to be in this movie. The other Titans basically hinder Mechagodzilla as much as possible as it rampages, telling Godzilla where it is. Monarch finally figures out that it’s heading for the nearest entrance to the Hollow Earth, right around when they also figure out that Ghidorah is involved. With Dr. Andrews and Nathan Lind’s input, they theorize it intends to take more of the power source down there to further strengthen it. 

They do their best to clear the cities in its path, evacuating as many people as possible. It’s all they can do. As in the past, they must trust Godzilla to do the heavy lifting. Around the same time, an assistant tells Mark that some guy named Bernie called and is asking for him. This is how he finds out Maddie was taken to Apex’s Hong Kong location.

Meanwhile, the Apex guards and Maddie finally arrive to find the facility abandoned and damaged, MG gone, and Simmons dead. The guards more or less split, leaving her there alone. Maddie, being Maddie, goes deeper until she finally discovers Ghidorah’s skull and Ren Serizawa inside, trapped in his own head with Ghidorah. It’s killing him. 

He’s aware enough to have a conversation with her. They argue about the Titans. He wants Godzilla destroyed out of anger over his father’s preference for Titans, rather than his own son. 

(“You’re not the only one with ghosts!” she yells at him. “You’re not the only one who resents a parent for putting Titans ahead of you when you needed them!” He chokes out, “I do not resent my father—” “Coulda fooled me. Why else would you be spitting on his sacrifice like this? Who are you trying to help, huh? All the other kids out there who are losing their moms and dads because you let Ghidorah out? Sorry, mister, but the last time someone did that, your dad paid the price.”) 

Ren is getting worse. He’s going to die if he stays in the link much longer, but he can’t disconnect. Maddie, looking around, gets to work on something. The camera slowly pans around to show that there’s a second pilot seat, back-to-back with Ren’s. It would allow for seamless switching between pilots without MG ever not having someone at the controls. 

Even with the other Titans’ help, Godzilla and Kong are unable to stop MG from going through the tunnel and into the Hollow Earth. Monarch is unable to follow, because of the gravity issue. They’re both tired from the journey and their fight, especially Godzilla. This is their last chance. If Mechagodzilla reaches the power source, it’s all over. 

The fight doesn’t go in their favor. They’re both bad at working together, so their attacks are uncoordinated at best, actively hindering each other at worst. Kong gets flung off a mountain and MG pins Godzilla. Even thought he caught himself, Kong isn’t going to make it up in time to help him. 

Maddie puts on an identical pilot setup, and with Ren’s instructions, switches the link over to herself, freeing Ren. He collapses forward, immediately falling unconscious from the release of the strain. Fighting past the pain and overwhelming presence suddenly in her head, Maddie does what she does best: she causes Ghidorah problems. 

She screams, and it echoes like a roar through his skull. 

In the Hollow Earth, Mechagodzilla stumbles. 

It’s the beginning of the end. She can’t control it or even really stop Ghidorah, but she gets in his way as much as possible, giving Godzilla and Kong the edge they need to finally get their act together and use some teamwork to take Mechagodzilla down. They destroy it and return to the surface before parting on amicable terms. 

After too long, Mark arrives at Apex with a whole team of people. Ren Serizawa is found comatose but alive, and he’s quickly removed for medical attention. Though Maddie’s also alive, there’s something else clearly wrong. She’s still wired into the piloting gear, stiff and unseeing, as if she’s frozen. Her eyes are open but distant, pupils virtually gone from how constricted they are, and her jaw hangs open slightly. Despite how tense her body is, she’s limp. Nothing they do wakes her up, even after getting her out of the skull. 

They wheel her out on a gurney to where a handful of Ospreys landed, but as they leave the building and step out onto the roof, they find Godzilla has returned. He watches them, and he’s exactly as aware as Mark remembers. 

(“She tried to help you,” Mark calls out to him. No one knows exactly what happened in the Hollow Earth, during the fight, but the scene in Ghidorah’s skull was telling. “No, she—she did help you!” For the second time in her life, Maddie put herself in Ghidorah’s path and, ultimately, won. Only this time, her victory came with a price.) 

Godzilla snorts before leaning over the roof’s railing, moving toward the gurney. The humans all back away, even Mark, though he doesn’t go far. Spines humming, eyes flaring blue, Godzilla rumbles deeply. 

On the gurney, Maddie stirs. 

Later, much later, after Maddie and Jia have met—heaven help everyone else, honestly—they sit together on the edge of a pier over the ocean, Jia leaning comfortably against Maddie. It’s quiet. They’re alone, watching the sunset. A heavy footfall behind them, the feel of the vibration trembling through the wood, makes them turn around. Half concealed in the brush at the edge of the island’s foliage, Kong stands, facing them. 

They both wave before standing. They sign goodbye to each other, then part ways. As Maddie walks away to a waiting Osprey, we see behind her as Kong crouches to allow Jia to climb into his palm before vanishing into the forest. 

The Osprey takes off over the calm ocean. It has a different design than most, with a large door set in the side instead of at the back, more like an ordinary helicopter. It’s open as they go, Maddie secure inside as she stares out. A smile spreads across her face as jagged spines slowly breach the ocean’s surface, easily keeping pace with the Osprey, which lowers to be closer to the water.

For just a moment, in the fading light, Maddie’s eyes almost shine blue. The screen goes black to the sound of Godzilla’s roar.

[starspatter]

Heroes and Thieves, Ch. 19

Title: Heroes and Thieves Fandom/Universe: BTAS, pre/post-RotJ flashback

Summary: A story about second chances, healing, and having hope.

Rating: PG-13, for references to character death, child psychological torture and trauma.

Genre: Romance/Family/Friendship/Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 3,227 Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18

Also on ff.net and AO3.

I see the stars, they're in your eyes A playful kiss, can you tell I'm excited? A fast escape in the nick of time If you lost your wish, can I help you find it?

-Angels and Airwaves, "Start the Machine"

————————–

Now.

They walked for a long time in silence.  Tim had ultimately needed to direct Steph to the exit (how anyone could live in that huge mansion without getting lost was beyond her), but had been completely quiet since.  He let her hold his hand tightly as they traversed the sidewalk though, dragging desultory feet along and wandering without any real direction in mind.  Though her brain burned with so many yearning thoughts, things she desperately wanted to say – to say “sorry” and “thank you” for – she waited patiently to see if he would speak first.  As the time ticked by though, he remained almost disturbingly reserved, until at last she couldn’t contain herself anymore and was about to finally open her own mouth – when he stopped all of a sudden in front of a worn fence.  She backtracked, tracking his view to the old, rusty gate.  …Behind it appeared to be an abandoned theme park.

Imagining the kind of upsetting imagery such a site would entail, she attempted to move forward, to lure him away from the fairground – a breeding ground for clowns – but he surprisingly stayed put.  After a moment, she asked:

“Did you want to go inside?”

He simply nodded. Doubtfully, she tested the entrance, which turned out to be conveniently unlocked, aching joints swinging open on their hinge with a tired creak.  (So much for security.)  As they snuck through and strolled amongst the stalls and stalled rides, she tried to envision how the carnival must have been in its heyday – bustling with children and chatter – carefree laughter.  …Such innocence and excitement seemed so far away now.

Tim stuck close to her tail, squeezing onto her palm – like a little duckling afraid of getting lost. They eventually came upon a cubic castle, brash and clashing colors catching her eye: a leftover moon bounce, sagging slightly but still intact.  Steph brightened as an idea occurred to her.

“Hey, let’s have some fun.”

She hopped onto the inflatable, tugging lightly to try and coax him after.  He wavered with reluctance.

“I’m not a kid,” he stated almost indignantly, contradicting his behavior up to now.

“…You haven’t been since that time, right?”

Tim wordlessly declined his head.

“Just humor me for a bit,” she implored as she reached for the rest of his appendage, nearly yanking him inside.  Within the safety of the net, she took both his hands and jumped gently at first, gaining momentum.  Springing higher and higher, striving towards the stars up above.  As they rose together, Tim recalled how, once upon a time, he would’ve been busting out backflips and aerial somersaults all over the place.  Now his legs felt like lead, and his hands stiff as ice.  …Hers were warm though, and didn’t let go, raising him up to her level. Like being attached to a blazing rocket, lifting off and flying free into space.  Escaping the stratosphere to soar for one more glorious night through the galaxy, leaving the insignificant speck of earth and its inhabitants behind. The smallest of fond smiles formed on his face at the notion.

They couldn’t go too far though.  He was forever grounded, chained to the weight of his heavily burdened and burned out soul.  A fallen star.  As the realization sank in, he slowed down due to gravity, landing with a flop on the spongy material as it rippled and undulated like waves underneath him.  His partner followed suit, descending dutifully back to the launchpad to recline next to him, and they lay there, staring up at the cosmos.  …The universe seemed so vast, full of infinite possibility.  And here he was, a tiny and trivial grain of dirt who had nothing more to offer it, nothing even left to give, let alone aspire to anymore.  Who was sorely reminded after tonight that he didn’t deserve these past few months of happiness.  Who had, against his better judgment, fallen in love – comfort – complacency – with someone all over again – and let himself be loved in return – when he knew he shouldn’t. …Who had hurt the person beside him as much as she hurt him.

“I’m sorry…  I never came back to see you.”

He spoke up softly at last. Steph swiveled her head, regarding him with a mix of tremendous relief and understanding.

“So you do remember,” she whispered.  “I was afraid you’d forgotten.”

“Of course I remember.”  (There were many things he remembered, even if he wanted to forget.) “…I also remember the bread.”

“Bread?”

At her puzzled tilt, Tim took a deep breath as he further pried open the can of worms.

“Punk kid comes around stealing milk, practically consumes everything in the fridge, breaks a glass bottle on the street with a Batarang, and almost convinces a girl to run away from home – sound familiar?”

Her pupils widened in shock as she matched all the scattered jigsaw pieces together, the last one fitting finally into place.

“That was you?”

She had, admittedly, considered the (un)likelihood based on coincidental context clues, but the odds seemed so far-fetched, like a fairytale.  Thus her subconscious dismissed it as mere wishful thinking.

“…It’s funny how fate works, huh?”  Tim mused in half-entertainment, half-resentment.  “One of the first things I did as Robin was find out where you went.  I – I wanted to do more, something to help improve the situation, but your uncle was dead, and your dad wasn’t committing crimes at the time, and without credible evidence of abuse or neglect Protective Services wouldn’t be able to legally act.  If anything, once they investigated they’d likely take you away from your mom too.”

His knuckles balled, berating himself for not seeking a better solution sooner.  Rescue at least one life that was worth it.  But his own history with social workers and authority figures had made him skeptical of the so-called “justice” system, although he’d learned to rely on the Commissioner for reinforcement at least – especially when the two were forced to collaborate to keep crime at bay by themselves in Batman’s abrupt absence for a few weeks.  (Quite frankly speaking, sometimes it seemed like he was the only competent cop in Gotham.)  Stephanie shifted her fingers to wrap forgivingly around his.

“It’s okay, Tim.  Just the fact that you cared is enough.”  As the implications of what he just told her began to fully absorb, she reflected back in amazement.  “Wait, so does this mean – all this time – you knew…?”

Tim awkwardly averted his gaze.  “Why do you think I was always watching you?”

“So… You were watching me.”

An embarrassed flush dyed his visage as he hastily endeavored to deflect.

“N- not in a weird way.  I was just… worried about you.”

She rolled over onto her elbow, propping her jaw with a coy smirk as she studied his red complexion.

“So it’s not because you thought I was cute?”

“Yes- I mean no.  I mean, it’s because – because…”  He stammered unsuccessfully, before respiring.  “It’s because you were always smiling. No matter how bad things got.”

She gripped his wrist encouragingly.

“It’s thanks in part to you that I was able to keep a positive outlook, you know.  Knowing there was someone out there who cared, even if it was just some stranger.  I always… wondered what happened to you after that.  I mean, you just disappeared.”  She exhaled, contemplating off into the distance. “…Now I know why.”

Tim mutely traced her perception, still uneasily mum on the subject.  Steph thus continued on, hoping that baring her own heart would help persuade him to share.

“After you left – the first time – my uncle – he did try to…”

As she trailed off, Tim looked straight at her in horror, sympathy welling in his eyes.

“Oh God.  Steph, I – I’m so, so sorry.”

She shook her head.

“It’s nothing compared to what you went through.”

It was Tim’s turn to clasp her hand consolingly.

“This isn’t a competition. It’s not about who has the bigger scars.”

Steph sniffed, tears seeping through despite herself.  “You’d still have me beat though,” she snorted wryly.  “But that’s the real reason why we couldn’t carry on my piano lessons.  I demanded to quit, since I couldn’t deal with my instructor anymore, even though he’d done nothing to me.  I became so scared of men I couldn’t stand to be alone with any adult males at all for a few years, even just for a short period.”

Tim nodded in empathy.

“It took Dr. Thompkins a year to get me back to anywhere near resembling ‘normal’.  …And even then I knew things would never be the same.  Hell, I could hardly stand to be around myself, let alone others.  I didn’t know who to trust anymore.”

She clutched his cold skin back compassionately, appreciative at his willingness to admit that much.

“I tried telling my dad what had happened, but he didn’t seem to believe me.  Later though, I found out about my uncle’s death – the timing and the cause – and I couldn’t help but wonder if… my dad had killed him. If so, was it because he messed with me, or because by messing with me he messed with my dad – with his ‘territory’?”  She spat the words bitterly.  “I had finally made up my mind to ask him about it, once and for all, but then he ‘died’ too…  And I didn’t know what to do.”

Regret filled Tim’s conscience.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t have been there for you.”

“It’s not your fault,” she insisted, dabbing at the corners of her eyes with her sleeve.  “None of it – was your fault.  You were just a kid.  But… If you were really aware this whole time… How come you never said anything?”

Tim bit his lip with a conflicted countenance.

“It’s not like I could just go up to you and confess everything, now could I?”

Stephanie sat up into a cross-legged position, resting her chin into her palm as she cast a coquettish glimpse towards him again.

“And what exactly were you planning to confess?”

She teased, poking playfully at his cheek as it blushed deeper.

“…I think you know by now.”

“I want to hear you say it.”

He elevated as well, lingering on her hesitantly for a second, before inclining forward to – finally – kiss her.

It was their first time despite it being several months since they started “seeing” each other, and he seemed nervous and new at it, but the shy, inexperienced gesture felt nice in its own way.  Like they were suddenly young and giddy grade-schoolers again, rediscovering what that warm, fluttery feeling in their chests meant.  His touch was tender compared to the coarse way all the guys she’d been with before treated her, and she took care not to be too rough with him either (somehow it seemed like slipping tongue at this stage might startle him unnecessarily; set him off like a delicate, frightened deer), letting him take the lead and decide when and how much was enough.  It turned out to be little more than a quick peck, but it left her smiling and satisfied.  Calm.  Content.

“I love you,” he declared as lips pulled gradually away from contact, timidly extending out to tuck a strand of her bangs behind her ear.  Grasping her fingertips firmly with his other free limb, as if anxious she might disappear if he didn’t, float far off into the atmosphere without him like a balloon.  “I don’t ever want to lose you.  Not again.”

Steph cupped his mug in reciprocation.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

His vision diverted, scanning the horizon.

“I still have them. Nightmares – of everything he did to me. But now – sometimes it’s you.  I picture you – getting hurt, or… worse.” He swallowed, struggling to articulate. “And it scares the hell out of me.”

She observed the stressed and sleepless circles under his sockets, massaging mildly.

“Thank you, for always looking out for me.  But you don’t have to be concerned about me anymore.  It’s over now, I promise.”

Tim released her, severing connection in order to comb a hand through his own hair, ironically acknowledging how their roles had seemingly reversed.

“You always could take care of yourself, couldn’t you?  I bet you would’ve been fine even if I hadn’t come along.  Hell, you’re a lot stronger than I am.  You probably didn’t actually need me to save you.  In the end, it’s not like I ever really did anything to help…”

“That’s not true.  I was really lonely too, you know.  It meant a lot to me that you listened, you have no idea how much I needed someone like that.  I mean, why do you think I keep a diary?”  She drew her knees up to her breast, hugging them close.  “I did try calling you once, afterwards.  …Batman hung up on me.”

Tim surveyed her sorrowful stance.

“I’m sorry.”

Saltwater started to stream down her features again.

“What the heck-” she sniffled, burying her forehead in her borrowed jeans, “-are you apologizing for?”

“I’m sorry.”

He reiterated, as she burst into shuddering sobs.  At length though, she began to giggle intermittently between hiccups.

“We’re… a real mess, aren’t we?”

She gasped, wiping ineffectually at her leaking ducts, smudging cheap mascara over her lashes. Tim managed to join her in a weak chuckle.

“Yeah.  We sure are.”                                                                                              

She scooched towards him, huddling and cuddling close, relaxing affectionately against his heat.  He enveloped an arm around her, nestling back as she snuggled and settled, welcoming warmth.  They stayed supporting each other like that for a while, marveling at the Milky Way, counting constellations and parallel pulsebeats.

“Hey,” Tim cleared his throat at last.  “…You want to get married?”

“…What?”

He scratched the back of his neck, praying she wouldn’t make him have to repeat it.

“You heard me.”

She removed her dome and rotated, scrutinizing the seriousness of his demeanor.

“Tim Drake, are you actually proposing to me?”

“Yeah.  I guess I am.”

She gaped in awe at his audacity, almost amused by it.

“You really are crazy, aren’t you?”  She shook her head in disbelief.

“…Is that a ‘no’?”

Grinning widely, she bopped his crown with a cheerful chop.

“Of course I will, you idiot.  But,” she put a pointer to his lips, shushing before he could reply, “We’re gonna do this the ‘normal’ way.  We’ll study hard, graduate, both get jobs, work to save up for a proper wedding ceremony, and invite all our friends and… family.”

Tim gulped as another consequence of his impulsiveness crossed his mind.

“Are you going to tell your mom – about all this?”

“…Only if you want me to.”

He paused, before putting on a determined air.

“She does have a right to know too.”

Steph clamped his clenched fist reassuringly.  Though it was curled with bold resolve to take responsibility, she could tell the owner was still trembling in terror.

“We’ll tell her together, when the time is right.”

She got up, stretching her hand out for his.  He took it with a bashful beam, and they departed the fortress.  On their way out, they passed by a number of ramshackle game booths – most of them boarded shut, but a few were still set up and apparently operational. Steph halted at the Ring Toss.

“Hey, do you mind if I give the Batarang a go now?”

Tim delayed his answer out of instinctive disinclination, but saw no excuse to deny her at this point.

“Sure,” he shrugged.  “Why not.”

He fished out the weapon, handing it gingerly over to her.  She took careful aim at the pins, and let it loose, succeeding in knocking over one of the bottles on her initial effort.  Her audience clapped, genuinely impressed by her raw, unrefined talent.  Perhaps, with some polishing and practice, plus further fine-tuned training under a real skilled expert’s supervision, she could’ve measured up evenly to their standards…

“Man, you might’ve made a good Robin.”

“Thanks,” she murmured as she bent over to pick up the projectile, “But I guess it’s not my thing after all.  I just always wanted to try it once, as a kid.  It looked so cool whenever Batman did it.”

“Yeah,” Tim muttered dully in response.  “I thought the same.”

“But,” Steph sighed as she toyed with the tool in her hands, before presenting it back to him.  “We’re not kids anymore, are we?”

He accepted the item, stowing it without a second glance.

“Maybe… The two of us were never meant to be.”

He leaned against the counter, hands shoved glumly in his pockets.  She approached and benevolently bumped his shoulder.

“It’s not too late, you know.  We can start over, from the very beginning, and maybe – do it right this time.”

He examined her earnest expression.

“I’m not… the same person as I was back then.  You may not like me as I am now.”

“It’s okay.  I want to get to know the real you – all of you.  Even if you’ve changed in some ways, you’re still the Tim I fell in love with. And I’d do it all over again, no matter what.  So…” She offered out her palm.  “What do you say?  Want to give it another shot?”

He blinked, before tentatively taking the proposition.  She shook gleefully in greeting, relishing the opportunity for reintroduction.

“My name’s Stephanie. Stephanie Brown.  Nice to meet you.”

“…Tim Drake.  Nice to meet you, Stephanie.”

As they headed back to campus, hands tied together in a sincere knot, Tim felt something bubbling to the surface from deep within, an emotion he hadn’t experienced – embraced – in so long.  It had been building up, bit by bit, but now that the darkness had been fully exposed he could see the light clearly shining at the bottom.  While his companion’s curiosity had uncovered the lid of Pandora’s Box, unleashing all the evil within – revealing reviled demons he’d strained so hard to suppress – she had also awakened another dormant, divine entity. Heaven’s merciful final blessing – one more chance at achieving bliss.  A goddess – nay, an angel – hero – who took pity on someone as pathetic as him, pardoning his sins.  Rekindling a faint spark of faith and flame, that discarded dream he’d already long ago given up, granting him something to treasure – to fight for again – a sensation of finally looking forward to the future for once.  Beyond his own blemishes and blunders.

For even as a ruined sculpture (judged to be a flawed product perhaps from foundation), he’d found someone: a kind and kindred confidant, who still deemed its inner core – raw ore – precious.  Who saw past the chinks in the armor – the true value in preserving, faults and all.  Who pledged to help pick up the shattered shards of his broken spirit, try to patch and bond and fix, if not restore to former glory.  …Bravely facing a fresh dawn for both them, peaceful and protected in the knowledge that neither of them was alone anymore, in the endless uphill battle against this hideous, savage world.  Unearthing something beautiful – a hidden jewel – amidst all the cruel, ugly carnage, pain and despair.  A mutual vow – for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health – to stand by each other to the end, that everything would be all right.

And maybe…

Just maybe…

That’s a thing called “Hope”.

————————–

I'm on my knee, just one to start A fresh new start, don't be undecided If love's a word, that you say Then say it, I will listen