#i did not include this person's username on purpose

[princesssarcastia]

i have no personal or professional experience with OCD or psychology so I can't speak to whether those things can contribute to this specific mentality. but setting that aside;

i fundamentally disagree that the ONLY way you can hold the mentality of, "i am personally responsible for the bad things done by politicians I voted for," is by having some kind of moderate to severe mental illness. I don't agree that it's inherently unhealthy. I don't agree that it automatically leaves you unable to meaningfully navigate through life. I don't agree that it's always dysfunctional. I don't agree that it always means you won't take action, or that you will be unable to substantially change things when you do take action.

in fact, I find that assertion to be kind of insidious! because you cannot abdicate responsibility for the things your government does in your name. you CANNOT. especially when you are one of the people who said, "yes, this is the person I choose to lead us." if you put someone in power then the things they do with that power ARE your responsibility.

I personally believe that we are responsible for each and every thing our leaders do in our name, from our local county sheriff on up to our president. I believe that I am responsible. Because if I am not responsible, then who is?

Obviously our leaders themselves are responsible for the things that they do and say. But when we elect them, we become responsible for the things they do in our name, with our permission.

(Frankly, even though it's wildly unfair, I also believe we are responsible for the things that our leaders do in our name even when we didn't vote for them, but that's a separate, more depressing, much longer conversation involving political theory.)

I'm assuming the person who wrote this is an American who votes for Democrats. I'll also assume that more than a few people who follow me can also be categorized as such. So if that applies to you, let me ask you this: do you think that the people who voted for Trump in 2016 are responsible for the things that he did? And let me tell you: if your answer to that question is no, I kind of don't believe you.

If Kamala Harris is elected, it is inevitable that she will do horrible things in our name. It's our job to take responsibility for that by punishing her for it politically and electorally—I'd say legally, too, but obviously that's a pipe dream, because no American president has ever been legally punished for the horrible things they've done.

The same way that Trump did horrible things in our name, and the same way that we punished him for that politically and electorally and, fingers crossed, legally, though I'm not holding my breath. Did I vote for him? No. Am I, as a person living in America, as an American citizen, still responsible for the things he did? Yeah. Yeah, I am. At the very least, it was and is my responsibility to stop him if i can, and mitigate that harm and remove him from power after the fact if I can't.

My local elected officials, like local elected officials across America right now, are trying to further criminalize homelessness. To make it harder, if not impossible, to exist in the place where I live if you don't have housing. It's despicable. I'm doing my best to try and stop it. These officials are doing this terrible thing in my name! I voted for some of them. I didn't vote for others. But I am responsible for all of their actions, because they're my leaders. What they do with the power I give them, willingly or unwillingly, is my responsibility.

And further, because I'm feeling a little bitchy tonight: the idea that I could feel that way in order to justify my own moral cleanliness is darkly amusing to me. You know what a person would actually have to believe about their leaders in order to still be able to claim that their hands are clean?

They would have to believe that the hold no responsibility for the things the leaders they voted for do once they're in office.

[pierregazly]

but mama, i love him ꨄ oscar piastri smau

oscar piastri x leclerc!reader

the one where oscar's girlfriend has been soft launching their relationship for ages. and he's okay with it, especially if it means he can keep hiding in plain sight from her three overprotective brothers.

ynleclerc

tagged charles_leclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, oscarpiastri, and others

ynleclerc omg omg omg... charles leclerc signed my hat? should i add it to the shrine? give them something to sacrifice?

view all comments

username any non-f1 fan would automatically assume ynleclerc is a crazy fan page for charles

username or a charles leclerc hate page... all she does it make fun of her brothers here

username she's offering her signed hat for the tifosi to sacrifice for a CL16 win??? that seems like pure love all around

arthur_leclerc i also signed your hat?

ynleclerc i also do not care? will a hat signed by you get me millions if i sell it for sacrificial purposes?

charles_leclerc what's next? my personal belongings?

ynleclerc is that an offer? if so, oui. i will take what i think will make me the most money next time i'm there, merci <3

scuderiaferrari if it gets us a 1-2 finish, sacrifice everything ynleclerc... please 🙏

username being a Ferrari fan is so satisfying when you remember ynleclerc is an automatic inclusion in everything and anything charles does

username the things i would do to have her as a McLaren fan... she's too beautiful for Ferrari 😭

oscarpiastri a piastri hat will get you good money in straya btw

username oscar??

oscarpiastri

liked by logansargeant, landonorris, mclaren, and others

oscarpiastri 'stop hitting me with the ball on purpose you jerk' was said more times than it should've been, by someone who really just sucks at tennis. had an awesome week back home, time to get back to it 💪

view all comments

logansargeant no wonder you're so worried about getting run over

username the coordinating outfits?? i'm gonna scream, who is she!!!

username what does logan know, tell us your secrets girl logansargeant

username oscar is gonna soft launch this relationship until the end of time. show us her face, you coward!!

ynleclerc did you pay her for all the bruises that tennis ball left?? poor girl

oscarpiastri it's not my fault she's a terrible tennis player, we all know i've offered to pay for a trainer

landonorris so this is why you couldn't come to bali with me 🤨

username lando really said i'm the third wheel??

username to be fair i'd probably pick oscar's girlfriend over lando for a week away too

username girly you don't even know who she is!!! she could be the devil

username i wanna be included in oscar's post week home photo dump :(

ynleclerc has posted a story

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, pascale.leclerc.355, and others

replies

oscarpiastri you can call me pookie whenever you want if you're gonna post things like this

ynleclerc i'd call you pookie with or without your permission, mon amour

charles_leclerc who is this

charles_leclerc why won't you tell us who you're dating

charles_leclerc we won't hurt him

charles_leclerc answer my texts

ynleclerc

liked by oscarpiastri, pascale.leclerc.355, arthur_leclerc, and others

ynleclerc get you a man who can do both, luckiest woman in the world whenever you're around. mon amour 🤍

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username people involved in formula 1 and their obsession with soft launching everything NEEDS to be studied

username at least she posts her boyfriend and he isn't just a small figure in the background of every post (charles this is a direct hate comment)

arthur_leclerc this would have been very lovely if it weren't for the last photo

liked by charles_leclerc and lorenzotl

ynleclerc suppose it's a good thing you could easily ignore it. cheers :)

pascale.leclerc.355 trés belle, ma fille 💗

charles_leclerc maman?

username could you IMAGINE if ynleclerc told pascale but obviously hasn't told her brothers? i can FEEL the outrage

username starting to think this may be a driver, ynleclerc is at every race weekend and ALWAYS makes a post with her mystery man at some point during the week after...

username okay ms sleuth (i think it's lando)

username i'm like 65% sure it's oscar, and 35% positive it's someone that looks a lot like oscar

ynleclerc

tagged oscarpiastri

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, landonorris, and others

ynleclerc someone exposed us on twitter, so i had to expose us on instagram 😮‍💨

comments on this post have been limited

oscarpiastri love you <3

oscarpiastri i will love you even when a ferrari has run me over, of course.

arthur_leclerc is this your way of telling me i was right, without texting me back?

charles_leclerc this must be a joke, non?

pascale.leclerc.355 so very excited to finally be able to invite the both of you for dinner. trés belle 🤍

charles_leclerc maman, you knew?

ynleclerc oscar and i will see you for sunday dinner, maman! <3

tresbelleleclercspam

liked by logansargeant, charles_leclerc, alexandrasaintmleux, and others

ynleclerc live feed of oscar running away from charles in the paddock when he said he 'just wanted to talk, mate'

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charles_leclerc i truly just wanted to talk about the race

charles_leclerc i did not have a speech planned, non

arthur_leclerc i did have a speech planned

lorenzotl i just wanted to welcome him to the family, as a good big brother should

oscarpiastri my apple watch warned me of an overactive heart rate 5 times today. why did you do this to me. why couldn't you have three sisters???

ynleclerc so very sorry, in our next life i'll try to make sure you only have to worry about sisters and not three overprotective brothers

oscarpiastri as long as i get to spend every lifetime with you <3

i actually got a request for something like this ages ago, and finally got around to finishing it. i so hope you all loved it as much as i loved writing it. thank you for all the support!!

i'm not currently taking requests, but if anyone has lil suggestions or prompts please feel free to send them.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Know Your Place 1

Warnings: non/dubcon, power dynamic, age gap, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Walter Marshall, destroyer!Chris [for the purposes of this AU, I will give him the last name Jackson] (Professor AU)

Summary: after a life time of home schooling, you finally get to experience the real world in college. (petite reader)

Part of the Bad Professors AU

Note: Please leave some feedback and reblog <3 As always, I love to chat with you all. 

The noise all around has you reeling. You’re not used to so many people. So many voices and smells and sights. The frantic action of it all reminds you of a mid-00s movie about a high school. The coeds are like animals milling about in groups with the odd single body rushing between with a mission stitched between their brows. 

You sit with your thermos of tea and try to focus on your schedule. You have a campus map from the Student Support Centre next to it, trying to map out your route for each day. Momma said you should try to get ahead, figure out where you’re going. She’s always right. 

You have two classes that day. As you find the buildings on the map, planting a finger on each, you find that they are on completely different ends of the campus. Of course. Well, momma didn’t know that where they would be, did she? She said you have to balance your load; if you’re going to be an English major, make sure you take some math and science for your electives. 

You circle the two buildings and put lets beside them denoting which day you need to be there, numbering them in the order the classes occur. A burst of laughter breaks your concentration and you look around, trying to find the source. You almost miss the calm isolation of your childhood living room. 

No, you’re grown now and you begged Momma to let you go to college. Not online, but in person. You even worked all summer at the deli so you could live in a dorm. She was proud but worried. She’s never been good at letting go. She’s already called three times today and it’s not even noon. 

As the crowd blurs around you, a sudden gust blows over the table as someone sits across from you. You stare back at them with a gasp. They must’ve mistaken you for someone else. You blink as the man tugs on the front of his letterman jacket and smiles. He doesn’t seem mistaken. 

“Hey,” he leans forward on an elbow, “you waitin’ for someone? Got some cute girlfriends on their way?” 

He’s so forward, he has your brows as high as they can go and your cheeks are on fire. It’s not much of an introduction. 

“Excuse me?” You eke out. 

“Ah, I’m sorry, hon, I’m getting ahead of myself,” he smirks as he crosses both his arms on the table. “I’m Colin. You looked lonely.” 

“Oh, uh, I’m just... figuring out my schedule,” you utter dumbly. Yor brain isn’t clicking. Why is he talking to you? 

Your ears tweak and you notice a group in similar jackets, sitting just across the dining area, gabbing loudly, snickering. You wonder why he isn’t over there with them. You wiggle your pen anxiously. 

“Ah, you’re not gonna give me a name for that pretty face?” He says. 

“Huh?” Your brows drop, “what?” 

Your momma’s voice echoes in your head. ‘Be careful of those college boys. They only want one thing.’ You didn’t believe her. They don’t want that from you. You were sure once you saw the other girls in their tight leggings and short tops. 

“Your name, baby? Gotta be something sweet, huh?” 

Your face ripples as you wade through surprise, confusion, then something else. You’re almost giddy. This man, with his mussed blond hair and bright blue eyes, and his chiseled features, is asking you your name. It’s flattering. 

“Mauve,” you can’t help but smile as you answer. 

“Oh, yeah? That’s pretty, well, Mauve,” he takes out his phone, “me and my buddies are having a party tonight and we’re supposed to find a hottie to bring with us. I’m having no luck but if I show up alone, well... I might not get to stay in the frat. You get it?” 

You stare at him. You're confused. You don’t really understand frats and whatnot. They just seem like clubs people join so they can drink. 

“You wanna do me a favour? Come with me?” He asks. 

He’s bold. Bolder than any one you’ve ever met. You sputter but can’t come up with any words. 

“Please,” he pouts, “promise, I won’t try anything, I just gotta get these guys off my back.” 

He looks over his shoulder at the table of rowdy guys. You squirm in your seat, uncertain. You’ve never been to a party. Wow. 

“Here, I’ll get your number,” he taps on his phone screen, “I’ll send you the details--” 

“Leave her alone,” a grizzly voice undercuts the frat across from you. 

A thick man stands behind him. He has a cardboard cup in his hand as he glares down at the coed. His burly figure is swathed in a dark green sweater and grey slacks. He’s older and his dark curls are threaded with subtle twinkles of silver. 

“Huh? Who the hell are you?” 

“Why don’t you show her those pictures you were snapping of her? The ones you and your pals were laughing about?” The other man growls.  

You frown. What? You don’t understand what’s going on. You look from one to the other. The younger man sat across from your sighs and rolls his eyes. 

“Fuck it. Whatever. Lots of pigs to go around,” he shakes his head and stands, facing the other man. “You know, bro, just cause you’re too old to get with any ass around here, doesn’t mean you gotta ruin it for others.” 

“Get out of here,” the thicker man snarls. The other winces just slightly before puffing up his chest and stomping away. 

You remain as you are, aghast and lost. The man with the dark curls looks at you. You shrug at him. 

“I’m sorry, sir, did I do something wrong?” You ask. 

The harsh angles of his scowl ease and he lets out a long breath, “uh, no, not you. That boy, you know, any one that wears one of those jackets, they’re no good. Just some advice.” 

“Oh, right,” you look over at that guy, Colin, “sorry, I didn’t know. He just started talking to me. I was being polite.” 

“Seem like a nice girl. Just tryna look out for you.” 

“Yeah, thanks,” you chew your lip and sniff. “Are you... are you teacher?” 

“I’m a professor,” he confirms as he holds his cup close to his chest. He's one of the biggest men you’ve ever seen. And his eyes are as blue as the ocean. “Professor Marshall but unless you’re a psych student, you can call me Walter.” 

“Walter? My neighbour is Walter. At home. He’s eighty-one and he collects baseball cards,” you let yourself smile. You always felt more comfortable around older people. You never had many friends your own age. 

“Don’t mind some baseball myself,” he dips his chin. “Well, you look out for yourself and avoid the Greeks.” 

“Greeks?” You make a face. 

“Fraternities,” he says. “And sororities, if you can help it.” 

“Oh, okay. Thank you, sir,” you feel a little better. You think he’s right and he is a professor. He would know. “I’ll do that.” 

“Sir? It’s Walter,” he corrects you. 

“Oh, sorry, Walter,” you smile. “I’m Mauve.” 

He nods and shifts his cup, “Mauve,” he repeats, “well, nice to meet you.” 

“You too, sir, er, Walter. Thank you,” you say. 

He hesitates then steps back on his heel, “yeah, no problem.” 

He slowly retreats and you watch him, your heart playing like a drum. You did it. You spoke to strangers and you didn’t melt. Things are getting easier. If you could get through that, you’re sure you’ll make lots of friends in your classes. 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for seeking out my ex to apologise to them?

For context, I had a long term (over 6 years) relationship with someone when I was younger (i was 21 and they were 20 at the time of our breakup, both nonbinary). They asked me out when we were both barely even teenagers, and in a way we grew up together. They were a great partner, and we were both very dedicated to each other. However I went through a lot of mental health struggles while we were together including a lot of suicidal ideation and some attempts, and eventually they asked to break up as they felt our relationship was becoming stressful for them and that I was relying on them too much/being too codependent.

At the time I was a little confused and upset, but I had always clearly made it a condition of our relationship that either of us could leave if we wanted to and had no obligation to stay. So in the end our breakup was pretty amiable, just sad, and we went our separate ways. In hindsight, our relationship was definitely unhealthy for both of us, and my mental health has ironically improved a huge amount since we broke up. So they were 100% right about it not being healthy, and I have nothing but respect for them.

In the years since, I have often felt guilty about how I treated them and wished I could make up for it/take back how I behaved. I never tried to hurt them on purpose but I would vent to them constantly without considering how they felt, and in general I think I took them for granted and would treat them more like a therapist than a partner, when they had their own issues too and I should have never made them feel responsible for mine like that. Neither of us were perfect, but I feel I definitely hold a lot of the blame for how things ended up. I don't think I had the emotional maturity at the time to realise how unhealthy our dynamic had become, whereas they did, and I think both of our lives have become better as a result of us breaking up.

It's been a couple of years since we broke up. They haven't changed any of their social media usernames or blocked me etc, so I could still reach out to them if I wanted to without having to block evade or anything weird like that. Part of me really wants to send them some kind of apology or something, so that they know they're a good person who did the right thing and that I'm sorry for my past behaviour.

However, part of me also recognises that I probably represent a dark period in their life, and that they likely just want to move on and forget about me. For this reason, I worry that apologising would be a selfish move on my part to just assuage my own feelings of guilt, but would only serve to stress/creep them out or hurt them further, which is the last thing I would want to do.

So, would I be the asshole for reaching out to them to apologise? Is it better to leave things alone, or would it be helpful for them/give them closure to hear an apology from me? It would be really helpful to hear people's perspectives on this, especially people who have been on the "other side" of a situation like this.

[traineecryptid]

NPSS Weibo Q&A (20240831) Part 1

This is a Q&A session held on Weibo. People will tag their questions with the hashtag #南派三叔藏海花在线答疑# (#NPSS Zang Hai Hua Online Q&A#) and NPSS will look through the tag to pick some to answer. The event started at 1500 hours on 2024 August 31st. For comedic purposes, this translation will include the timestamps for the answers. And for efficiency purposes, I have left out all usernames. The usernames of the question-askers can be found via the screenshots in this folder if anyone is inclined to do that.

1422 Come ask questions at #NPSS Zang Hai Hua Online Q&A#. I will stay online and pick questions to answer without limits from 3pm onward. 1500 Q: Sanshu, what was the thing that Zhang Qiling wanted Pangzi to tell Wu Xie that Pangzi mentioned when he was fixing Wu Xie’s dislocated shoulder? My friends and I would love to know. 

A: Eat well, sleep well, wear socks even in the summer. 1500 Q: Lei, do you like this pic I made? [It’s an edit of NPSS’s face on a pink dressed magical girl body]

A: I feel like this pic is affecting the fengshui in my house.

1502 Q: Shu, it is confirmed that Ten Years is included in the ZHH drama. Then, will the drama show the changes between ZHH Wu Xie and Ten Years Wu Xie? In yesterday’s livestream you said that there are four turning points in the drama. Is it that Wu Xie will become Xie Di after being tricked four times? A: Every character and their fate all have big turning points. Whether he’s a good person or an evil person, whether his answers are real or fake, you must watch till the end [only then you’ll know].

1502 Q: Sanshu, what was Wu Xie thinking in the split second when he saw Menyouping’s portrait in Tibet? A: “What the fuck!” (T/N: swears are not very translatable in meaning. I tried.) 1503

Q: Pumpkin Sect (T/N: this might be an intentional typo punning of nanpai which means southern sect), what would the scene be like if Xiaoge’s mom met Wu Xie? Would Bai Ma be happy that her child had gained some humanity because of Wu Xie? A: Bai Ma would probably teach Wu Xie to sing. Something like The Night of Ulaanbaatar.

1505 Q: Shu, why have you been answering so many questions lately? Has there been some big thing happening?

A: They said that I’m a liuliang celebrity so I should shoulder the publicity mission. (T/N: Liuliang celebrity refers to celebrities who are popular (or controversial) and are able to generate a lot of social media traffic. For example: when a celeb would get on the trending searches whenever they post selfies/ attend events/ do just about anything.)

1513 Q: What would Mo Yungao from Southern Archives do if he had really found Xiaoge? A: He would eat Zhang Qiling.

1523 Q: Is the audience viewing experience taken into deep consideration when making drama and movie adaptations? For example, allowing those who haven't read the novels to understand the plot. I saw some people saying that they couldn’t follow the plot [from the drama].

A: For Reboot, in order to help the audience get into it, we introduced the characters and their occupation in the first episode. But for ZHH,  according to the number of votes, we all chose to do a cold open based on the novel. 

1524 Q: Sanshu, Sanshu, I want to know, based on Zhang Qiling’s arm strength, how many Wu Xies can he carry?

A: If he uses the strength from his waist to assist, he can throw Wu Xie up to the third floor.

1526 Q: What is the ending for Boss Jiao in the Reboot novel?

A: Became Jiao. (T/N: The character for Jiao means burnt).

1527 Q: Will Xu Zhenxuan play Wu Xie in the Heavenly Palace re-shoot?

A: Yes.

1528

Q: Shu, did Zhang Haike recommend Xiaoge’s drink to Wu Xie because he wants to show off that he understands Xiaoge? A: Hahahahaha

1532 Q: ZHH drama and novel will have two separate endings. Now that the drama has an ending, have you decided on the ending of the novel? When will you experience Tianshou? A: I always understood the dramas as the dreams of the characters from the books. That means that the changes in details in the dramas, to me, I would always explain it as the intentional and unintentional amendment to the details as they tell this story to someone else. Or that these are part of their dream and after-the-fact fears. I will explain it again after [you] see the end.

1533

Q: I would like to know the mental state of the company. It seems like it’s taking big steps towards a beautiful direction.

A: It’s rare to be able to legally go crazy. Everyone’s very happy.

Here's the first 15. There are more answers and I will chip at them at a pace that will hopefully be able to keep up with NPSS. The folder also contains a google doc that has all the complied Q&As if anyone prefers to read on that.

[liminaltrickster]

Show Your Work: Nicola Coughlan/Penelope Featherington

For now, I've decided to call this series of astrological investigations "Show Your Work." It's a working title 😉

As promised, let's look for Penelope Bridgerton (née Featherington, aka Lady Whistledown) in Nicola Coughlan's chart.

But first, the same disclaimers as before:

I'm a traditional astrologer. This is the source from which I pull the meanings of the planets, houses and signs. This also means that I use Whole Sign houses. If you're used to Placidus or another house system, things will probably look a bit different here.

Yes, there are natal charts available for the characters of Colin and Penelope. I just haven't had a chance to look at them closely yet. I hope to soon, and we'll see what we can glean!

When we look at a natal chart, individual placements can be read in a multitude of ways depending on what we're wondering about. I'm coming to this chart looking for Bridgerton, so the reading will be very specific.

I don't and won't make delineations for people's personal lives without their consent. That's why we're focusing on a piece of Nicola's public creative output here.

This chart was cast with an estimated birth time, but assuming the rising sign is correct, it's fine for our purposes.

—

Just as we did with Luke's chart, looking at the ruler of the 5th house feels like the most natural thing to do. This means that for Nicola, we're going to be focusing on Mercury (☿) in Capricorn (♑) in the 12th:

The 5th House and its Ruler

Being an Aquarius rising, Nicola's 5th house is Gemini (♊). Gemini isn't the sign of our focus, but I'd be remiss if I didn't point out that the Gemini themes of duality, changeability, deception and invention are quite apt as far as Penelope and Whistledown go.

Anyway, the ruler of Gemini is...

Mercury

This first part is pretty simple: Mercury rules the mind, writing and speech. Penelope is a thinker and a writer. When anyone cares to listen to her, she has a lot to say, and she says it exceedingly well.

But Mercury is also the trickster, so let's discuss the archetype (see: my username). In myths and stories, the trickster is cunning and witty. We'll always find them breaking rules and crossing boundaries, including those associated with the social order, often to chaotic effect. Penelope not only publishes a scandal sheet, but she also blows past the limits of propriety by naming names.

There's also much to be said about gossip's usefulness in holding the powerful to account and the gendered criticism of gossip. Gossip has always been a way for vulnerable groups (in this case, women) to share information outside of the influence or control of the dominant group (in this case, men). The trickster is a disruptor who challenges authority. This is Penelope as Whistledown (and, eventually, as herself).

The trickster is a shapeshifter, and I'm not only talking about Penelope donning a disguise and accent to do business on behalf of Whistledown. Just as the trickster often exhibits gender variability, Penelope plays with the gender roles of Regency society. While she's not completely free to do as she pleases, she has an occupation that she's good at, that she's passionate about, and that brings in a hefty income.

In Nicola's chart, Mercury is very closely conjunct the Sun (☉)—this is called being combust. Combustion is a visual phenomenon whereby a planet is said to be "burnt up" by the Sun and cannot be seen because the Sun's light is too bright.

I don't know if it's possible to count all of the ways that Penelope goes unseen in this show, but let's try:

Not only does the ton spend three seasons not knowing who Whistledown is, but they very rarely take any notice of Penelope either.

At any given ball, Penelope is a wallflower of the first water because none of these dud(e)s think to ask her to dance.

In fact, it's this disregard that allows Penelope to collect information, disappear from events, and even repeatedly spend unchaperoned time with Colin Bridgerton.

Colin himself takes two and a half seasons to see what's directly in front of his face (Penelope... it's Penelope, lol). He doesn't see that she clearly has feelings for him, he doesn't see her as more than a friend, and he doesn't even see that he already has feelings for her. Heck, for a while there, he doesn’t even see her as a woman (“You are Pen. You do not count. You’re my friend.” 💀).

Eloise spends two seasons looking for Whistledown, and it turns out it was her best friend all along. She's also surprised when Penelope and Colin show up engaged because she has somehow never noticed that her closest friend has been in love with her brother the whole time.

Penelope's mother and sisters assume that she's a lost cause who'll remain unmarried. When they find out she's been writing letters to Colin in season 2, they scoff at the idea of them being friends. Portia takes comfort in the idea that Penelope will always be around, but she has no clue that her home is Whistledown HQ.

The 12th House

The 12th house doubles down on these themes of something or someone being unseen. It is a difficult place, but it makes sense for Penelope. Some of its topics include secrets (yes), scandal (uh huh), and hidden enemies (I'd say so).

It's also a place of ostracization. As a woman seen as undesirable for marriage, Penelope is already snubbed by Regency society. Whether it's by her friend (and future husband) Colin Bridgerton or her enemy Cressida Cowper, she's suffered no shortage of slights and cruelty.

She keeps her identity as Whistledown a secret for so long because she risks further alienation if the ton discovers who's been casting aspersions and spilling their secrets.

This house is a place of "self-undoing." Whatever we may think of Whistledown's utility, the whole scheme gets away from Penelope this season. By her own admission, she's made mistakes, hurting others and herself in the process. The only way forward is to own up to it.

Capricorn

Nicola herself has referred to Capricorn as a "famously uncool sign," and I suppose Capricorn has this reputation due to the seriousness of its themes. Resourcefulness, persistence, ambition and goal-setting aren't particularly cool, but they can certainly get you stacks of money under the floorboards.

Capricorn can also be steely and even ruthless. Penelope is a fundamentally good person, but there's an eerie level of discipline, detachment and single-mindedness required to publish gossip about those closest to you, not to mention about yourself.

That being said, I believe that Capricorn (like all signs) is much more complex than folks give it credit for. Let's refer again to Liz Greene in The Astrology of Fate:

I understand [Joseph] Campbell to be saying by this that the father-son polarity, the avenging Lawgiver whose strict and structured rules of life collide with the lusty, libidinous goat-like desires of the son, exists within the one individual. Morality and shame, law and lawlessness, seem to comprise some of the polar opposites of Capricorn. The son must face the father's punishment, only to find that the father is within himself; and the father, the old king, must face the son's rebellion, only to find that it is his own youthful spirit that he thought he had outgrown long ago. The initiation of the son by the father is an inner experience which, it seems as though by fate, Capricorn is often denied in the actual parental relationship, and he must therefore seek it within himself on a deeper level. By this description I am, as usual, not talking about men only, for this father-son constellation belongs as much to woman and her capacity for effectiveness and self-sufficiency in the world as it does to man.

That sums up Pen’s arc pretty tidily, don’t you think?

It's only when she decides to come off the wall and integrate these two disparate parts of herself that she's able to start saying what's really on her mind and articulating her needs. This is when she starts getting what she actually wants: to be with the person she loves, to have better relationships with her mother and sisters, to earn the forgiveness of her best friend, to write openly as herself, and to be recognized by society.

—

That’s all folks!

The next one of these, whenever I get to it, will be looking for Sydney Adamu in Ayo Edibiri's chart.

[kooktrash]

just an insight on what writers have to deal with in regards to inclusivity for everyone:

I’ll start off by saying I’m obvi hiding their username for anonymity but I just wanna show yall what it’s like to be a writer these days on tumblr 💀

I’ve never explicitly said my writing is only for poc or only for white. I purposely try and leave that out of my writing bc I want everyone to feel included. the sugar daddy fic this user is referring to is I believe Lace & Luxury where I never once said it was a black character. does this mean I would never write a black/poc character? ofc not, it just means that I don’t specify race/ethnicity, etc or how will it be inclusive for all? and the immediate jumping to conclusions bc a character in my fic has y2k style or bc of a moodboard pic [of a white person with a heavy tan I found off pinterest] leads the idea that it’s poc is weeeiiiiirrrrrddddd bc even if it was, i don’t see how it would be such a problem to read the tags

if anything I feel like there should be MORE writing for poc

this person is talking about wanting “inclusivity” but they’re upset that a character might be a poc or overweight bc it doesn’t describe them?

finally this strange need to be a victim by saying “do you have a grudge against skinny people” literally BAFFLED ME, bc I went on their blog where they reblogged a post about how skinny people are ignored LIKE WHATTTTT

I’ve been reading fanfiction since I was 13 in 2014 and I could never read a story about a brown character but there were a billion carbon copy fics of a blonde/ginger, skinny main character. I would read them bc what other option did I have? that’s why this upsets me because one)

I don’t ever specify my character’s race/color/weight so for someone to make assumptions and then message me trying to ask me to change the way I write is weeeeeirrrrdddd. I’m not a professional, I write for fun and if there are blogs out there that only specifically write for poc or heavier set people, DONT READ THEM IF YOU DONT LIKE THEM

suddenly all these readers want to delegate how a writer creates a story when it used to be that we had readers BECAUSE they liked the way we wrote, not bc they want to change it

this is what poc people have gone through for yearrrrrrrrrrrrrsssssssss:

and like I said, I try and be inclusive and never describe someone’s physical traits unless it’s in the most indirect way but I completely respect and acknowledge writers who do specifically make works for poc readers or readers with a certain type of body type [that was never written before in fanfics]

I also don’t care if people think I’m rude, I’m literally Mexican with tan skin and black hair and if I wanted to write works that’s “not inclusive to white/skinny people” I would’ve done that by now, but that’s not my goal so pls don’t try and paint my writing to be for one target audience

[the-lonelybarricade]

TheLonelyBarricade FAQ

I saw @whatishowedyouinthedark make one of these and have been debating making my own ever since! 💕

Do you have a posting schedule?

No. Currently none of my projects are pre-written, meaning I write each chapter from scratch before it gets posted. The frequency of my updates relies entirely on my available free time and mental capacity.

When will you update A Court of Faded Dreams?

I don't know! Each time I'm asked, my motiviation to do so curls and shrivels up just a little bit more.

Are you still working on A Court of Faded Dreams?

Yes! Contrary to some of the comments I've recieved, ACoFD is NOT abandoned. But wrapping up that project is a massive undertaking. Please, please be patient with me.

When will you update x fic?

Whenever my motiviation perfectly aligns with the emotional, mental, and physical contraints of the outside world

Do you accept prompts?

You're welcome to send me prompts, but please don't do so with the expecation that they'll always get fulfilled.

Why haven't you responded to my ask/message/comment?

I promise it's not personal! I'm just a girl with ADHD who can feel a little overwhelmed about answering a lot of messages (and who can be very forgetful). I'm so appreciative of all the messages I get in their various forms, and I wish I had the emotional capacity to answer all of them. In my head, I'm kissing anyone who's ever said something nice to me very tenderly right on their forehead.

As for my ask box, I encourage you to treat it like casting a letter in a bottle into the ocean. Half the fun is wondering if you'll ever get a response!

Are people allowed to translate your fics?

Not without my explicit permission.

Are you okay with people binding your fics?

I will only consent to my fics being bound BY HAND for personal use. That means I do not condone for any money to be exchanged in order to produce a bound copy of my fics. That includes online binding services like lulu as well as Etsy binders who claim to only charge 'for materials', both of which are infringements on SJM's copyright.

I've talked more about this here.

Are you okay with people making or comissioning fanart of your fics?

Yes, but there's one stipulation: if you do this, I'll have no choice but to marry you

What are your favorite acotar fics/authors/blogs?

I'm so glad you asked! I have a recommendation list here.

Where does your username come from?

It's a reference to Empty Chairs at Empty Tables from Les Miserables!

What are your pronouns?

She/her

What sexuality do you identify as?

Alexa, play "Sweater Weather"

Are you and @separatist-apologist actually married?

Yes. In fact, my profile picture is from our wedding 😌 (but for legal purposes: no)

How did you and MB become friends?

it's a very emotional story that all started with a penis

[viivenn]

If that was your intention, you should've blocked her @. Because I saw a bunch of people harassing her on twitter for no reason ever since she showed up, and she never said anything untrue. Even the info she shared about Giles is public info, you can read online anywhere and everyone is free to like and dislike people. Her feelings about Giles is clearly not a problem for Gwendoline. Everything you said about sharing old nude stuf is real, writing dirty fanfics about her is disgusting, but if you wanted to use that girl's tweet as an example, you should've blocked her @ specially because she never did any of those things you mentioned. I know you want to be correct on this, but you have to be fair and just. There was tons of other examples way more serious you could've used, and far be it from me to defend Beca, I don't know her. But I follow her and I at least know what she stands for and she'll definitely be by your side on all of this.

please stop taking my post out of context. this was not a call out post. i used a post as an example and included the username, i was not being disrespectful by using an example.

there’s a difference between wanting to be just and right, and it’s that i know my intent is just and i know i’m right. if you think these sort of things are okay, then perhaps it’s you who is wrong and unjust. i was not purposely aiming to be disrespectful and start arguments with people over a post that highlighted my concerns and discomforts about this fandom, i wanted to discuss this in a peaceful context because that’s what everyone deserves is a conversation and not a heated debate. bur if you really want to go down that route. of colourful words exchanged, then fine, allow me to be the bad guy for a moment.

i don’t believe your friend is friends with gwendoline and i certainly don’t believe gwendoline is REMOTELY okay with what is said about her husband out of clear jealousy and ridicule.

i didn’t block the person because when i took that screenshot it was back in… i want to say… november? i’m unsure. i had to retrieve the screenshot from my story, which i will include now;

i can go back in my story archives and retrieve the date if it’s absolutely necessary but considering you clearly can’t read enough to take something as simple as a post example out of context, i believe it would be unnecessary.

i so happened to have that screenshot because it was on my twitter feed the day i opened the app and i thought it was wrong so i threw it up on my story because it was plain disrespectful and wrong and stupid of beca to post.

now if that’s everything, this is the last time i will be responding to anything regarding beca and her/their damned post (idk their pronouns , i apologise). it was used as an example. stop being pissy.

[ivorywreathablaze]

Hello, I'm Laurel!

Here resides the randomness of someone who is late for everything probably including my own funeral.

Welcome!

I am also on: DeviantArt, Fanfiction.net, and Instagram.

I'm one of the artists for JohnPeacekeeper’s Itadaki no Hecate! Technically. I'm still working on it lol. (I'm currently going to basics I never did before and working on character sheets.)

If you have a story on with Khamsin x Kazumi in it, please message me so I can add it to the Khami community! If it's elsewhere, I can still post it to the list, which is on DeviantArt! I also have anonymous messages are turned on, so if you’re shy you can contact me there.

P.S. My username was previously ‘Qiana King’ and ‘Laurel Gwen King.’ Why change? Because a pen name looks weird on fandom stuff. Also, this is thematic!

Current Status of the fics I’m working on is on my Fanfic profile, until I figure out how to make it into cool bars on a page on my tumblr lol

Shakugan OTPs:

Khamsin x Kazumi (Khami)

I will never be able to explain exactly why I ship them, because I've had them as an OTP for so long that they’re just stuck in my brain. I probably wouldn't ship them if I hadn't started when I was thirteen and looking to ship Kazumi with someone—but then again, they work to understand each other better, she’s the only one who makes him smile, she’s implied to be his motivation to keep fighting for a better world, she surprises him, he is the only character in the series who gets her, she’s the only one he opens up to at all, he dies protecting her, they get a significant goodbye scene, he’s looking at her instead of anyone else present as he dies, she’s the main character with the saddest ending but keeps going strong just like he said she would . . . so like, maybe I would.

Yuji x Shana(Shanji)

They’re the main ship in the series, so if you like the series I probably don’t have to explain it. But Yuji gives Shana her humanity back, helps her access her emotions, and gives her companionship. Meanwhile, he falls in love with her so deeply that he becomes a strong fighter, turns the entire world upside-down for her, and decides to wander eternally without her just trying to atone for betraying her trust. Then Shana refuses to let him be alone, and they get their happy ending!

Keisaku Satou x Margery Daw (Keigery)

They have this slow-build dynamic, which eventually grows into romantic dedication. It starts when he’s one her lackeys who have a crush on her, and ends with them being emotional equals. He becomes dedicated to helping her, and she manages to hang on to life past her life purpose falling apart explicitly because of her feelings for him. It’s SO CUTE!

SouthValley x WestShore

I have . . . NO explanation. Just vibes.

Posting Standards:

I will never post something that is MA/Explicit. Because of my personal clothing choices, I rarely post drawings of girls in clothes that show their shoulders, never post them in something low-cut, and they always have clothes that go to their knees. Same kind of rules apply to drawing guys. I am Christian, which means I try not to make light of/glamorize violence, addiction, prejudice, or other like topics, (though it can be difficult given the genes I write so please do message me/review if you think the balance is off in one of my fics). I also believe that online activism is most often actively harmful, especially from people who don't know what they're talking about (me) so I intentionally don’t post about politics. My personal beliefs will show up in my stories despite my efforts, but when I catch it then I do try to show other perspectives as well.

Thanks for reading through that whole boring wall of text lol, and I hope you enjoy my upcoming work!

[pagerunner-j]

All right, all right. This is a bad idea! I've been trying not to cross these streams for a long time! But: fuck it. Who fics ahead!

--

Long story short: I used to write under another pen name. I stopped using it and deleted my old journal after some personal crap, which still makes me feel sad and stupid, and I'd wanted at the time to scrub the slate clean. Some of what's still kicking around under my old username, though, includes stories at whofic.com, which predates AO3 and still exists, doing its Whovian thing.

So after recent fandom flashbacks, I've been rereading my old stuff. Which has been...interesting!

Obligatory disclaimer: oh, god, do I want to edit everything. These date back as far as 2005, and so certain old habits linger, like the fact that I hadn't yet gotten over my torrid love affairs with the semicolon and the ellipsis. I want to fix the occasional dips into overwrought nonsense. I'm also looking at some of the more adult content and thinking, "Okay, that went from 0-60 a wee bit fast. Calm the hell down, self."

BUT: there's also stuff here I like! And about which I'm thinking "crap, I used to be good at this," because I can never leave myself alone!

Anyway, here's a few stories from the "this does not shame me" pile, plus notes:

Gen

Translations (Ten/Rose) Original description: There are some things the TARDIS doesn't translate, and some secrets of the Doctor's left unexplained. Rose is setting out to find out why. 

Probably the best thing of mine on this archive, and one of the most developed narratives. The sneaky, sneaky merchant, whose storyline never quite gets resolved (on purpose), was one of my better ideas. The other was Rose interpreting the TARDIS console's layout as looking like a Gallifreyan word. And, for that matter, Rose's name looking like an actual flower. Thank you, DW designers, for a completely impractical but extremely cool-looking written language. Also, the fact that the marketplace has thirteen floors, and they were on the tenth? Yeah, yeah, that was on the nose. I note that since then, the showrunners have thrown the Doctor's thirteen-regenerations limit out the window, for perfectly understandable reasons, but it was still kicking around at the time.

Roundabout (Nine/Rose) Original description: Time and possibilities keep turning. an exploration of the Doctor and Rose's relationship throughout the series. Spoilers for all [first season] episodes.

The other one that I'd file under "hey, you wrote a story! And it's not bad! Good job, self!" file. I really loved Nine and Rose, and I went to town with it here. I also got completely self-indulgent in a few places. As one does. The scene at the club is my favorite on that account. This quip of Jack's to the Doctor was, among other things, a sidelong nod to a few of my feelings about American polarization, and believe me, It's worse now: "It's Saturday night. We're in one of the last great cities of post-Dissolution America. And the most handsome man in the club has just bought you an Electric Comet. Do yourself a favor. Get drunk." Also, the reason Rose thinks she knows the music that's playing is that it's 110% a quote from a Billie Piper song. I don't think anybody ever noticed, but it's there.

Outgeniused (or: How to Get Fired From the Apple Store in Three Easy Steps) (Ten, OC) Original description: Kate Stowe's seen a lot of strange problems come up at the Genius Bar, but this one qualifies as the strangest she's seen yet. Presenting a bit of shameless insanity, featuring the Doctor, a race of aliens with quite inconvenient taste, and several unorthodox ways to break your iPod's warranty. (In other words: crackfic ahead!)

I really wasn't kidding about that last line. This one is unabashed ridiculousness, inspired by your author doing a seasonal stint in Apple retail that left a goddamn mark. Sadly, the Doctor never swung by my store. A lot of real-life tidbits did make their way into this story, though. And despite all odds, it's got a plot! Fun facts (for nerds): the product line was accurate as of the time I wrote this. The iPod shuffle disclaimer I was talking about? That was absolutely a thing. And my favorite line is still the Doctor apologizing for not getting AppleCare, because I had to pitch that to so many people. I have never once bought it for myself. No regrets. Don't tell Tim. Also, apparently the UK really has gone all-in on Black Friday since I wrote this. I have to ask: why? Why must you import the worst of our capitalistic excesses? You really didn't have to! Le sigh.

The Naughty Bits

A Matter of Timing (Ten/Rose) Original description: In matters of love, sex and the technicalities thereof, somebody better be thinking ahead. Rose/Ten, post-Journey's End.

Short, sweet, and silly. This one's about Rose and the clone of Ten off in their parallel universe, and exists for the sake of the conversation they're having, which is in part about the mechanics of that whole cloning thing. Although it's mostly about the sex. Which they are absolutely and enthusiastically having the whole damn time. ("Haven't ever seen that on a clock" is still my favorite line.)

Slightly Psychic Confessions (Nine/Rose/Jack) Original description: Getting caught with slightly psychic paper in one's hands can be a dangerous thing indeed.

Like it says on the tin. 90% of the reason this was written was so I could play with the props, and the dialogue (both spoken and psychically transcribed) is the part I most enjoy, although I've been told the rest of it's pretty okay too. ...yes, the rest of it is a threesome. Stop looking at me like that.

Selfish Dreams (Ten/Rose) Original description: Wherein solutions to lingering nightmares lead to a different sort of sleeplessness. Slightly spoilery through "The Satan Pit."

Sometimes I get creepy, even with characters I love and will ship forever. This one was mostly me thinking through some of the...potentially fraught...implications of Ten's psychic abilities, and is one of my "I guess I'm preoccupied with nightmares and dreams, because I'm gonna come back to that in a few different ways" stories in this archive. Anyway, none of what they're up to here is what I'd consider a good idea. At least Rose enjoyed herself, though.

Forgetting the Nightmare (Nine/Jack) Original description: In which neither the Doctor nor Jack can get any sleep, but for very different reasons.

As I was saying. This is about a plot point from the show I'd forgotten about since writing this: Jack's two years of missing memory. (So, yes, apparently mine's missing too. It's been A LONG TIME, okay?) He's having some issues coming to terms with that. So how do I decide to have them address it? Boinking on the TARDIS floor, apparently. ...ahem. Anyway, as is the case with a lot of the shit I wrote, it's a little emotionally messy. It also hints at a few things that are still very much up for interpretation. Less in need of puzzling out is that yes, the two lost years are represented by the two burned-out lights on the console they're trying to fix, because I am occasionally as subtle as a brick.

Beyond Locked Doors (Ten/Reinette) Original description: A glimpse into Reinette's memories and dreams throughout the events of "The Girl in the Fireplace."

Yeah, this is one of those that dips into being overwrought, and yes, my inner editor is bitching at me about sacrificing clarity in the process. But writing from Reinette's POV was a fun exercise. It's a very different flavor from everything else here. Also, just to get this stated, you still can't tell me that the "dance with me" line in the show and those two disappearing off screen together wasn't also Moffat being subtle as a brick with his metaphors, so I still feel justified in writing this one. The (implied) sex was canon and I will die on that hill.

So Brief, In Bloom (Ten/Reinette) Original description: Wherein the Doctor thinks of other ways this could have gone.

And now...things go south. I'm pretty sure I'm the only weirdo who cared about this story. It is, let's be fair, also weird. This is about Ten being haunted by the idea of what might have happened if he did get Reinette to come along with him, and what the ramifications of that change might be. Not overtly stated, but it's there, is that in this alternate timeline, Rose didn't take well to this idea, and eventually left. The result is some Seriously Conflicted Feelings. And some ill-advised attempts at banishing them. I once got a comment on my old journal from somebody who didn't understand the last line. it's oblique on purpose, and you're invited to imagine your own version, but what was going on in my head was that back in the actual timeline, Ten absolutely had his way with Rose against that very same wall to try to scrub the idea of the other timeline out of his head. Considering that the wayward strand of hair he found could have belonged to either her or Reinette, though? It...didn't exactly help.

A Laugh Like Thunder (The Master/Lucy) Original description: The Master and Lucy on the eve of destruction, thinking of what's to come. (Spoilers through "The Sound of Drums.")

I'm including this here solely because I'd forgotten about it until I trawled back through my archive, and was thus smacked upside the head with the facts that A: it existed at all, B: this thing went places, and C: I started it off with, "On the eve of destruction, the Prime Minister tied his wife to the bedposts and began to think of another man." Go off, self.

[the-hurdy-gurdy-man]

MAX, HOMIE. this isn't a question but.

[slides into confession booth and wears a shame hat] i saw you following me here and i did not realise who you were but followed back because my genuine thought process was, "oh hey! another max! omg they're so similar to the max i know on twt THEY LIKE SUBBY BOYS AND WRITING TOO? THEY MUST BE COOL LIKE TWT MAX TOO IMMA FOLLOW BACK"

didn't realise you were the same person... until i saw someone's fic rec post TODAY... which included your ao3 name on it... and... y'know maybe i do have a question am i stupid

AHAHAHHAHA yes it is I, ao3 user writertothemaximum, twitter user fouldestruction, that is me, me am I(?)(/pretentious)

coughs, anyways, yeah, this is basically my priv, or where I talk about non-fandom specific things that I like (but if I see jjk art I like, I will reblog it), so I didn't put my ao3 username or any of that on purpose but maybe I should LMAO. I love art of all kinds, and western art music (classical music) is one of those passions that I don't really talk about online too much but I AM obsessed. My life's passion.

So yes, not surprising that you didn't connect the dots but extremely hilarious for me LMFAO I imagine there's other fandom friends who followed me back on here and were like "🧍 I-Is this the same person? It really sounds like it."

I also reblog more political/debate-y sort of things here that I wouldn't trust within my life on twitter AHAHAH so. I also use this blog for that.

So to answer your question--

you are not stupid, homie.

>patpat

the homie is very good, i adore the homie (pats again)

[tuesday-is-a-good-day]

bro, I'm so sorry you had to see that

If I were you, I'd be panicking too because what. 😭😭😭 they didn't have to call you out like that or even show ur acc if they were going to rant about it rudely.

I mean, sure it is the internet so everybody's just being 'fair game' and posting what they want but like...dang.

I feel for you. even I got second hand stress just from reading yalls' discussion.

Have a hug, tuesday 😭🫂

HAHAHSHFJF ty 😭

Honestly I was real shaky for a while because I have a hard time not taking things personally and it was rather aggressive, but hey that’s the internet amirite??

My general rule when ranting is to assume that my rant will always make it back to the original poster. I don’t think they wanted to engage in a discussion (or maybe they did idk), but even if they didn’t think I was gonna see it, DAMN that’s a lot.

I also can’t help but notice that they cropped out the username of someone else who they included in their post, and I’m not claiming it was on purpose but damn alr.

I kind of hate how because the internet is anonymous it’s considered fine to just, attack people? Like maybe I’m sensitive (I am) but lord it’s like we’ve forgotten how to just be decent. I’m no saint but I do try to keep bitching to a minimum, or at least in private chats.

Ty again anon, this was really nice to receive 🫂

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Umm theres a comment under emma insta post saying

remember when you called Evan's gf in 2015 the n word with a hard r

you and your stylist did it

not many people know the story but some Evan stans do. basically Evan dated a black girl he met on set of ahs in 2015 and Emma and her stylists called her the n word in front of Evan

Do we believe it cuz I never heard ot if and people can now make things up

guys, please be careful with this one. it is not true.

this anecdote comes from a very complicated and quite frankly disturbing story, that's far too long for me to get all the way into. i've purposely tried to not discuss this in the past because some people's real lives have been affected by it and it gives me an uneasy feeling.

many years back, a handful of fans from tumblr had a discord server. this story originates from there. there are a couple of people who are deeply emotionally invested, and believe they spoke with evan peters himself on that discord server, as well as other individuals close to the story shared above. they believe evan divulged personal information to them, including stuff about emma and their relationship.

i had a bad feeling this was going to be drudged back up because the very first tiktok i saw this morning had a username that was associated with this story. there's someone taking advantage of vulnerable people on discord, pretending that they are evan peters talking to fans.

[writtenwolves]

Gotta hate the AO3 spam comments era.

I rarely get comments from unfamiliar usernames (including spam; I’ve only gotten one as far as I remember) so when I got a comment this morning that was stylized like a scalping AI trying to create a legitimate history, I spent several minutes trying to figure out if the bots were evolving. It did have actual, true details about the fic. Yet they were vague, and (probably) could have been filled in based on the fandom/tags/number of comments. This was from an actual account, though (i don’t know of examples of AO3 bots that aren’t guests, but it’s the whole ‘what if they’re evolving’ thing), which didn’t have any bookmarks, works, or gifts, but did have a profile picture of a character from the fandom, and a creation date from June. Being so new to AO3 explains why they sounded so different from other commenters, so with all that taken together I’m now like 95% sure they are a real person.

Idk, in a world where I routinely have to prove my humanity to robots so I can log into a website, I don’t want neat writing. That person didn’t do anything wrong, but far as commenting goes, it makes me want to leave in typos on purpose and use excessive emoticons.

[mothlegs]

eurgh

dreamt basil abused me :/ or dreamt that i dreamt it? idk. it was all the same as before. i was still finding ways to take all the blame so he wouldn't have to change or ever be in the wrong

and like. i definitely did suck severely but so did he and i was the only one taking any kind of responsibility, just like irl

gehh. stupid dream

it was like. he left a message for me on amino that he was going to sleep and i should put that in my discord status and we'd talk in the morning? and cause i'm still a stupid loyal dog i did that. his profile picture was blue and his username started with knee ..??

but. in the dream i dreamt he sexually assaulted and i think physically abused me too? i was talking to someone about it, about how my real vision/memories had high contrast and the dream ones were the same just in grey. i wondered if it wasn't just a dream (i know it is irl since i never met him in person)

we fought, physically, for a while. think there was glass and knives involved. i triggered him on purpose and accused him of race faking and faking being jewish? which? irl he is white and Not jewish? i was doing it just to hurt him, i said that to the other person later, and it felt like this big revelation that would fix everything. i used to have those all the time, i'd realise something that could he viewed as being my fault and i'd immediately do everything i could to change, because he wouldn't change and i somehow thought that if i just did everything, that would make him care about me, would make him stop hurting me. god damn stupid i was

other dream stuff. i was friends with this guy whose brother was intellectually disabled? and it was the brothers birthday so i was invited. not a lotta other people were, just a few kids his age (6-8 idk)

they were like. rich.? and somehow i ended up. erughh just remembered what happened next. i somehow ended up babysitting the kid, his? her? idk im saying his- his name was tay, and he also had some movement related disabilities and i think food related ones too

i got along w this kid really well, he used AAC and even at the party i seemed to be the one including him the most?? like we were considering going to some place and i was the only one who actually Asked tay if he wanted to go or if he was ok with us going without him

but anyways. uhh something. Weird. happened. there was a Dude. outside. who was. imitating me.? like... trying to copy how i look. it was really freaky

i told tay to know what i looked like n stuff and to not ever trust that other guy, and then i went down to i guess fight him

and Fight Him I Sure Did. he had some kinda sharp weapon and i had. something. some kinds tools idk what they were

he managed to cut me once and *i* managed to stab him through the mouth into his head. at an angle where every time he moved, he crushed his skull further. the sound was so disgusting, i couldnt look at it and he wouldnt stop

i was screaming for help and some woman came over, said something about hannah, andd. idk i guess that was okay then

i went back in the house and tried to make food but i cant cook so it went bad. tay was sitting on the counter trying to guide me buy man i am Bad

then his dad came home and was like. i told you i put food in the fridge. and i jus OH. I. COMPLETELY FORGOT. SORRY. and he said it was fine blehbleh

i told him about the weird dude (really unsettling and scary the entire time something was Wrong with him) and he got kinda Hh and said something about hannah too, but also that we couldnt talk here. i understood, the walls had eyes, metaphorically.

aaand that was p much it. think thats all i remember. i kinda miss tay and also his brother they were cool. feel like i dreamt more but i forgot u.u